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minho-hoho · 1 year

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Yandere!ENHYPEN's reaction to their S/O slapping them

genre... yandere! pairing... yandere!enhypen x gn!reader! warning... cursing, yandere themes and behaviour, violence, small caps intended etc...! wc...1.7k! note... yall, no month has ever been so hectic im so sorry, like ive been trying to deal with my feelings (not abt tumblr, for the first time ever im starting to like someone sooo) and i got sick (again, yes im sick every two weeks) bedridden, and still am but its okay. just idk now expect more fluff since im more in a lovey stage bc of that little someone :>!

MASTERLIST

이 희승 Lee Heeseung

it all started after a heated argument about you not being able to go out with some of your friends

you were starting to get really annoyed and angry at your boyfriend's over-the-counter possessiveness and protectiveness

you just wanted to go outside and enjoy yourself, without him for once

it was basically a yelling match and you were starting to get seriously frustrated by the situation

suddenly, you felt your body move by itself

and in a fit of rage, your hand flew to Heeseung's face

it didn't hit you immediately, you were so enraged you didn't notice the shock and disbelief on Heeseung's face

you were breathing heavily and tried to calm yourself down. to you, the world had stopped for minute, you clearly weren't aware of your surroundings

but Heeseung made sure to snap you back to reality with his livid voice

“what the fuck did you just do?”

“what? it's nowhere near as bad as anything you've done to me anyways” you retorted, still on your high

he threw a death glare your way, that you didn't even notice

“i think that someone here” he came closer to you and looked down at you “needs to be taught a lesson”

and just like that, you were dragged to a dreaded place, still seeing red

박 제이 Park Jay

to be honest, you didn't how did you get so far in an argument

you should have already been locked up, but yet you weren't, you were here, screaming your lungs out, tears rolling down your cheeks, trying to put some sense into your psychotic “boyfriend”

at this point, you couldn't even remember what you were originally arguing about, you were basically buying time before getting locked up

but the more you argued, the madder you got

you wanted Jay to get a taste of his own medicine so bad, even if it was just a little, even if the consequences could be almost deadly

you wanted to hit on his ego, to feel even tiny bit embarrassed to be treated in such a way

you were quite weak, but you took all the remaining strength in your body and gave him the biggest slap

the sound of your hand on his face resonated through the whole house, and what you felt like pmmthe whole universe

it felt good, but you now knew, that there was no buying time anymore

you were doomed, and you knew it too well, but you were at a point where you were just waiting for him to end you by inadvertence

Jay forcefully pushed you onto the ground and took a few seconds to take a look at you

he took your leg and dragged you across the floor and stairs to the basement not even taking a look at your suffering self

he couldn't care less, all he saw was rage and madness, he couldn't believe how bold you were and made sure to teach you and unforgettable lesson

심 제이크 Sim Jake

you didn't even remember the last time you argued with Jake

it was always pretty sweet with him, but only recently you started to take notice of the manipulation

you started to notice how the way he treated you was far from normal, and it was rapidly but carefully bulding in you anger and resentment towards Jake, who didn't really notice the subtle changes in your behaviour

it was after him begging for you two to not go out on a date that you lost it

you started screaming right at his face and pouring all the contents of your heart on him, insults after insults were thrown, taking him aback

but he still got the situation under control, he knew you very well, and this outbursts of yours was going to end in his favour

again, he used his best technique, manipulation. he tried, but despite his best efforts, you saw right through it

and you managed to get even more enraged, if that was even possible

you took angry steps towards Jake and waste a second to slap him harshly

a wave of anger came over Jake, but he knew better to act put of anger. the last thing he'd ever was to appear as the bad guy

he was going to use your act to victimise himself and make YOU the bad guy

and that's how he put you back into your place, and filled you with immeasurable guilt

박 성훈 Park Sunghoon

you usually always tip-toed when you were with Sunghoon, which was all the time

but being with such a person lead to built up frustration and anger, that you always made sure to never unleash onto him, knowing damn well that he wasn't going to spend a single second trying to understand you

but today was different, nothing seemed to go your way, everything seemed like it was trying to push your buttons further and Sunghoon was no exception

everything he did seemed to bug you more than usual, and today was not the day you were up to deal with his quite annoying teasing

you tried to tell him to stop, but he didn't want to listen driving you crazier

after another remark from him, your body started dmoving on its own and you slapped his face with all of your strength

your eyes widened before his did, and before he could even compute your bold act, apologies started spilling our of your mouth, tears already forming in your eyes

but to your surprise, Sunghoon just started laughing, his laugh getting crazier by the second, scaring you but nevertheless, you kept the apologies coming until they almost made no sense

“shut up” and you immediately did, he then grabbed your hair and dragged you too your room

“you've gotten so bold and mean and for what?” he shook his head “i've done nothing but be nice and you repay me like this?” he tugged at your hair harshly as you were struggling on the floor

“i guess i should have known better, you are a brat after all. i hope that what you'll be going be through today will be enough for you to finally understand.” he took a look at your pitiful figure “not like i mind pushing you anyways”

김 선우 Kim Sunoo

where did this rage even come from? maybe it was from being locked away from the world, trapped with someone you absolutely loathed. who knew, what mattered was the fact that Sunoo's clingy behaviour was greatly pissing you off

his recent jealousy was way more overbearing these days, and you couldn't stand him being attached to your hip after acting in such deranged ways.

hell, everything he did seemed to piss you off in some ways and you told him multiple times but you were met with a pouting Sunoo which irked you even more

but this time it was too much

your head was hurting and the lats thing you needed was Sunoo yelling at you for a reason you didn't even know, you assumed it was because of his jealousy

you argued back, todl him to shut up repeatedly but to no avail, it only angered him more

and that's when you did it

you slapped him, you could say goodbye to your head because he was now screaming his head off and you of course, received a slap back

all you could do was sob uncontrollably on the floor, begging for all the screaming to stop

양 정원 Yang Jungwon

the only reason an argument with Jungwon got so far, was only because he found it entertaining to see you so engaged as if you were going to change his mind, he found you quite adorable like that

but now he had enough of seeing you scream, he did prefer seeing you docile and calm, and he would be lying if he didn't want his peace and quiet

after some eye rolling, he told you off, having not listened to anything you've said, not really caring

“did you even listen to me at all?” you said angrily, Jungwon smirked

“of course not, why would i?” he laughed “now just shut up before i get angry”

you were boiling inside, you felt frustrated, could nothing get through his head? if words didn't, maybe actions would

and right then and there, you slapped him, not with much force, you just wanted to get your point across

but if he was feeling nice earlier, he sure wasn't now

he didn't plan on punishing you today, but now, to him at least, it was the only option left

“i tried being nice with you but i guess you didn't get the memo, hm?” without leaving you the chance to answer he grabbed your arm and brought his face close to yours

“i suppose violence is the only way you can understand who's in control”

西村力 Nishimura Riki

you two were passionately arguing as always

spitting venom at each other, fighting your sides for your dear lives, too stubborn to stop and apologise

you didn't even remember why you were arguing, you were just arguing to argue, in your minds, there was no way you were going to lose this battle

red with rage, you couldn't help but get even angrier seeing Riki shooting daggers at you

it only drove you further in you indignation and furor

you knew how he pushed every single one of your buttons, and this was the last straw

insulting your loved ones, especially after taking you away from them, was just too much for you to bear

the second your processed his words your hand flew across the room to his face, leaving a huge mark on his cheek

“i guess this shuts you up, huh?” you said snarkily, still riding your high seeing Riki mouth wide opened

“okay i don't where the fuck did you get your confidence from, but know that i'm going to make you pay for this” now your eyes widened and gulped as you heard him speak

he pulled your hair to bring you closer to him before speaking in your ear

“i'm going to make sure you won't ever use these hands of yours in such ways”

PERM TAG LIST! : @stacey-stonem, @sh1mzu, @axartia, @echantedrose, @leeknowbuttsmasher, @nikipedia07, @deafeningballoonnacho, @sristsblog

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harrywavycurly · 1 year

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i am so livid bc i typed everything out and accidentally closed out of tumblr and lost EVERYTHING so here is me retyping everything again ..

Oh or orrrrr Eddie knows the male OC maybe from like Rick so he knows he’s not a good guy and doesn’t want the reader hanging out with him BUT the OC is like “fuck off Munson” and ends up being around the Reader a lot and Eddie just isn’t having it? 👀👀👀

Ohhh or does the OC know the Reader from maybe way back in the day like jr high and he’s back in town and Eddie isn’t vibing with it because he just knows he has a crush on the Reader?👀👀👀👀

I really like BOTH options like if the OC was someone Eddie knows from Rick he knows the OC a total fuck boy and just treats girls like shit (if the reader and eddie were just friends) or maybe if eddie and the reader was dating the OC still tries it with the reader making eddie super livid and defensive 👀

alsoooo text cheating has been on my mind for some reason it’s bad but good angst 🤭 like if eddie and the readers relationship been super strain and eddie hasn’t been romantic or showing flirty feelings like he use too AND THE OC does texting the reader nice flirty things making the reader feel good it’s fun if eddie found out about the texts between the reader and the OC completely making him upset GOOD ANGST 👌🏽

I do like the idea of the reader and the OC knowing each other in the past MAYBE THEY EVEN DATED DURING JR HIGH maybe the OC still has feelings for the reader all those years??? that would make eddie extremely jealous because he KNOWS this guy still likes the reader 🤭🤭

It’s up to what you decide all these options are soo good tho :))

Hiii babes!! Omg I hate when that happens and you have to retype it all😩 okay so here me out, what if we COMBINE the two?

-the Male OC knows the Reader from jr high, left town but then he somehow met Rick and that’s how he knows Eddie BUT he doesn’t know Eddie has a gf until one night OC goes to Rick’s house party and sees Eddie and then sees the Reader and he’s like “holy shit it’s you!” And they talk and then Eddie is all🤨 because why is he talking to his gf? And then the OC is like “THIS IS YOUR GF?” And then Eddie has to go all super protective and the OC just doesn’t care because he hasn’t seen the Reader is so long he doesn’t want to miss his chance of shooting his shot and that’s when the like emotional cheating/texting can happen because OC is all “I hope Eddie knows how lucky he is to have you in his life” and it goes from there! 👀💖

The OC and Eddie at the party seeing the Reader:

#my little dungeon master baby

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kuuyandere · 1 year

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"would" you "ever" purposely "try" to isolate "your" darlin, "even" if it "hurt" them? "would" you be a "bad" person "if" you "did" such? "or" is it "simply" rightfully "takin" what is "yours"? I "do" not view "myself" as "evil" but "others" would disagree "sometimes". my "darling" only "caused" others pain "and" nothin "ever" came any "good" of them "interactin" with others. I "don't" know. "in" a way, "I" was "simply" doin a "service" to the "world" by "effectively" removin a "massive" threat to "others" by "isolatin" them... "I" just "happened" to "also" get a "good" end of "the" deal, "too". I "don't" really "have" friends and "rarely" show my "face" anywhere, I "just" sit "with" them when "I" can "apart" from "my" other "duties". "they're" in a "lot" of pain "all" the time, "but" they always "seemed" to hurt "more" when "vyin" for others, "not" to mention "hurting" others "as" well. "I" don't think "they're" too "fond" of me "though". oh well. is "it" evil? I "also" do "not" know if "I" can care.... I "have" them. "kind" of miss "when" they'd "look" to me "for" comfort with "their" issues. "now" I'm "just" a "background" to their "pain" and "isolation". would "they" ever "look" at "me" again....?

Here is the thing, "hurt" and "evil" are subjective concepts. Morality is not something clear-cut, even though dichotomous thinking is human nature. That is not to justify or condemn your actions or judge your darling's past ones, but I am just acknowledging that I am limited to a vague description of your point of view and your feelings on the matter.

Is your darling aware of how you feel, especially in regards to how they treat others and why you took the actions you did? It is not your job to be responsible for your darling's actions. They are their own person and should take responsibility for the people they hurt, and it would be unfair to have to play the role of savior for those people and your darling preemptively.

To answer your beginning questions, yes, I would try to isolate my darling even if it hurt her. I have before. My beloved has an objectively horrible taste in men, and by that I mean online pedos and borderline sexual assaulters. As her friend, I got absolutely livid at those fuckers and that she repeatedly kept herself in danger just because she "liked" them. I rarely show emotional extremes or get angry, but there were times that I made her cry because of how frustrated and disappointed I sounded. There were other things, and it hurt her, but it made her stop looking for dates and hookups as much, essentially isolating her to some degree (and keeping her closer to me). I told her "you deserve better", but perhaps I was also being selfish by implying "I can give you better". I don't think I was a bad person by wanting her to be safe even though my methodology was not ideal, but I also don't delude myself (or try not to anyway) by thinking she is mine to take and own even though I want her to be.

I believe that you are not wholly "evil" as people say, as you did not isolate your darling with the intention of causing them pain and appear to still care about their wellbeing if you are questioning the morality of your actions. "Good" people do "bad" things, sometimes for the "right" reasons. Your situation sounds incredibly complicated and probably requires many, many difficult conversations with your darling.

#your yandere #aidoneus asks #This was difficult to answer but I hope it was somewhat helpful #I tried to be impartial because I don't know the objective facts of the situation or your darling's point of view

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shrimpynobashi · 1 year

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Today one of my closest friends did a fuckywucky to another one of my friends, then instead of owning up to it, or even acknowledging it, or even acknowledging me, completely ignored it. It made me angry that it happened, but what’s more, it made me angry that I let her get away with it.

I have this stark memory in the navy about how I, as a senior enlisted person in my division, told my junior, Fenstermaker, to do a maintenance item after he got off watch. This is a very normal thing. In fact, as the sort-of LPO, it was my job. So, the next morning, when I got up, and the maintenance item wasn’t done, I didn’t get mad. I got livid. I went to the bunkroom, tossed his rack curtain back, grabbed him by his hair and the seat of his pants, and literally dumpstered him onto the floor. I had him explain to me why he didn’t do it, that he was sad and missed his wife, and then I lit into him, in front of the entire division, that we *all* were sad, and we *all* missed our wives. The little comforts that were afforded to us was due to the fact that when we went to bed, we had confidence that our fellow sailors would keep shit intact for us long enough to wake up and do the same for them.

I got chewed out for that. Mostly for the physical violence.

But it was a lesson that I sort of taught myself out of anger. I ruminated on what I told him (purely out of spite) and it was something that I knew that wouldn’t extend into civilian life. It’s something that’s hard to replicate; my faith in my coworkers isn’t to prevent a life-or-death scenario, nor should it be. This further extends to my friends, wherein lies the problem.

Another life lesson was last year, for my birthday, I had this large party (as I normally did--if there was ever a reason to celebrate with friends, I would employ it). It was for the most part, one of my favorite birthdays in memory. My wife hid a Smirnoff Ice in my cake and I chugged a 24 oz. bottle in front of everyone. We drank until about 5 AM. I had some wonderful conversations with people I didn’t know I meant that much to.

The next morning, I awoke to my cats frantically trying to get me up. This is normal. They get hungry. So I woke to feed them, and as I approached the kitchen, I stepped on something wet. And again. And my cats stared at me like, “hey, man, what the fuck is up with this?” Turns out, (another of) one of my closest friends smashed my fucking toilet and just...went to bed. It overflowed. It caused $5,400 in property damage. My house still hasn’t actually recovered from it.

Over the next few months, I’d take their friendship and try to be understanding, because, after all, they were in dire straits. Their family wasn’t well-off, and they were going through things. I wanted to be there for them because I thought that if I wasn’t, then no one would be.

This line of reasoning, as it turns out, happens a lot to me.

I remember one thing the guy who flooded my house told me, about how he couldn’t believe I would throw it all away because of this incident. It took me a few weeks to realize that was him manipulating me to think that I was the selfish one.

I am not smart. I have the mental capacity to understand something when I sit down with a textbook and read about it. I love learning. Hard sciences are my favorite. You know what I’m shit at, though? Social things.

Tonight reiterated to me a thought I’ve had for a while, that my friends use me specifically to fulfill a need that only I can achieve for them. It’s time to stop begging for people’s attention, I think, and find some friends who will treat me like equals again.

Ignoring me when I asked for an apology was really all I needed to know about where I fell on your priorities. We’re good, but just know that our relationship will never be the same. The time for apologies is over. I am so weary.

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starfxckersinc · 2 years

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🐍/ every day i think of some new gross thing u said to me when i was young that ive been kicking around for 5 years. you don’t deserve the amount of love & care i still have for u, probably above anyone else. u need to stop bothering me and romanticizing me and making shit harder on me bc u have no idea who i am. the last time u talked to me i was 17. u literally have no fucking clue who i am as a person & u don’t rlly want me & more importantly u don’t deserve me or anybody like me. cute that u kept everything bc i have probably 5 things left from everything u ever gave me, me & o burned most of ur clothes. should’ve donated that rlly nice sweater actually but i was livid. emailing me on vday & then turning me away when i was dumb and lonely enough to want to speak to u again was like shooting me in the stomach, i feel like you’re the one who abandoned me and u keep doing it over and over again. u shouldn’t even be part of this post bc by 20 I shouldn’t have heard from u twice. u have ur own life. we didn’t make one together. go live it

🦊/ thankfully i have no way of ever seeing or hearing from u again. fuck u for staying in contact with my abuser. fuck you for having to hear how severely i was abused b4 you’d block her despite being my closest friend. how could you repeat so many things that id already heard, be so callous & manipulative & lie to me about so many things. what im most hurt by is ur willingness to turn into the person who hurt me worst in the whole world and how that made me feel afterwards, like i physically feel like im encased in wax all the time, no interest in anything but highly idealized fantasies, no belief that other people actually value or want me besides their projections. it’s been over a year and I feel physically disgusting and detached from the regular experiences of a young person bc of what u did to me & how u treated me. you are so incredibly slimy and nasty and i can’t even properly type out what all i wish i could say. i can’t believe i spent months crying or feeling nauseous every time i saw something as simple as a tiktok abt drug use but u probably haven’t thought of me or what you did to me for a year. it doesn’t rlly matter bc it’s better for everybody if we just forget the whole thing, but it brings me immense satisfaction to know how much of a liar you are. im just so glad we’re separated from one another so i can slowly repair my insides, though if i ever got an apology from you somehow, i really think i could let go easier. that probably will never happen because you’d believe, coward that you are, that i wouldn’t appreciate that apology & that it made u a better person to not give it to me. again, fine. i wish we had never gotten close, it was such a waste of time and life

♠️/ short one! u were creepy af to me but u felt like my closest friend after all that shit went down & i was having hypomania/was totally unbalanced & fucked up. wanting to come see me was a red flag. hitting on me all the time was a red flag. involving me in decisions regarding my ex who was ur friend throughout ur teenhood was a red flag, telling me my insistence about protecting her would kill her, um, enormous red flag. the jokes abt fucking me, the only txting me nowadays to tell me I’m attractive, & then calling what id been thru redundant & saving face in front of ur gf like u hadn’t been paling around w me about my interests/issues already & hadn’t demonstrated that u were cool w them. it hurt me to lose u a lot more than i thought, and it still hurts, bc u really betrayed me. what did i expect from one of her friends, i guess? nobody was good to me after that shit went down. I thought u were my friend.

♣️/ even shorter: fuck you, you’re a dumbass & ur priorities are so? unnecessary & apathetic

🌪/ this controversy hasn’t cooled off enough to rlly dig into it but ur also a liar and a damn coward, ill be getting to you shortly

#aberdeen spoken word

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whompingwillowsworld · 10 months

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I talked to a lawyer. I can't believe this is really where we are. I've loved and cared for you as a friend, a lover, a wife... for over 15 years of my life...

I am super struggling today. It's been a week since I've heard from you.

Your aunt says she thinks this has little to do with me and more to do with you not loving yourself. She wants to continue to have a relationship with me, "regardless of the outcome." I'm not sure why this always happens... why all 3 of my major relationships come to this, and the family still wants me around.

One day I'll have both I guess... or maybe I'll just have a kid on my own. Maybe I'll look back one day and thank you for leaving because I don't know if I ever would have regardless of how absolutely unfufilled and unhappy I was in our marriage. Anyone who loves me could see it, tried to speak on it, and have come to my rescue now that things finally finished falling apart.

I stopped writing, I stopped taking pictures, and I stopped singing. I poured everything into making a life you didn't even want... I asked for years if I should listen to your words or your actions. You could never tell me.

The screenshots I have of you saying that I treat people the way they treat me and that you fucked up by not being part of my life for 6 years when you married your first wife make me want to throw up. I don't know what changed between now and then, but it isn't my job to figure out why you neglected our relationship at every turn.

Today was brutal. I sobbed till I couldn't breathe. Then I realized I've been doing that alone in our marriage the whole time. You called me immature, insecure, and told me you don't know if you ever loved me, then turned back around and said, "WE shouldn't give up." If I am all of those things, then what does that make you? I'm a little lost on how trying to communicate with you makes me any of those things. To me, it sounds like you're trying to justify your horrendous actions.

I wonder which of your coworkers/friends you're fucking. I wonder if it's our mutual friend you lied about going out with alone in Paris while I was asleep. I wonder who justified your non exsistant effort in our marriage. I wonder who gave you permission to once again leave someone you made a life-long commitment to. I wonder if it's another 18 year old like when you left Ashely. I wonder who you've been talking to about how you feel about ME because it sure as shit wasn't the only person you should have been addressing it with. You want to talk about patterns? 2 failed marriages by 30? Hmmmm... I think you may be the common denominater.

I don't want to be your friend again, and the fact that you even thought it was an option after the way you've treated me is hilarious. If this is how you treat a life partner why the FUCK would I want you as a friend? I compromised so much of myself just to be your wife. I threw away an obituary that didn't belong to me... I threw away a keepsake of someone's aging pet because YOU were livid with me for wanting to give it back. I totally lost myself trying to be enough for you.

I don't know how to forgive myself for being so fucking stupid and naive.

#divorce #seperation #hard feels #cptsd #I can't wait to see my therapist again

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flawedconqueror · 1 year

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Freedom Fighter

Today I had an interview which I like the cause they’re working for, but one of the people seemed a little ansy

I was really tired

And some answers I couldn’t provide an answer it was a bit short ...

and I should’ve prepared more but at least I came, I could’ve let my emotions get the better of me as I often done in the past

Is this called disassociating

I was really bothered thinking about my past with the Damiles, here i am telling George to get over the traumas he experienced with his family

But learning how hard it is to get on

But since being here, I’ve been filled with rage and anger

Thinking about the 20 or so odd years of it

But God reminded me: Two wrongs don’t make a right

I’m pissed off

To be the scapegoat or the laughing stock for being treated so cruelly

To have my hands maimed mentally

It’s disgusting

And I would give auntie a piece of my mind, but the Holy Spirit is restraining me

So I retaliated by being manipulative

I’m beyond livid made to think that I was incompetent

I don’t care if she gave you candy

She did give me a stuff toy

But then she insulted me in many ways, I can assure you she dare not speak to her children that way

My friend I met up years ago reminded me I was scared of her (she knew me since grade 3)

What am I a rag doll

Bloody periods

Nipples protruding out of my breasts so my friend bought me a bra

That is so embarrassing

And it shows friggin’ neglect

Unkempt hair

I needed to know I wasn’t crazy that my anger was warranted

Many people have confirmed that indeed I was treated like ‘trash’ and not ‘wanted’

Although this seems to appease me in some way

I guess a part of me didn’t really want to take it in

Cause it sucks

You can be somewhere your whole life and be a passive spectator

I wonder if I would’ve been better off in foster care

I enjoyed the kids and we watched Block Buster rentals: Wild Wild West and Mummies Alive

From basically day 1 up until the day I left I was treated like a nuisance

If she showed changed behaviour it’d be one thing, but I know deep down there is resentment

I saw it in her eyes after she visited my mom

Probably thinking: This isn’t my problem

Where is your so-called catholic virtues and piety woman?

and no matter what I do as long as my name is not Damile...

She lamented over the years not being able to go to vacations or do things because of us

Imagine how mentally taxing it is to be in a place where you feel like you’re on eggshells, like a mouse, like a burden

DAMN it my own uncle can’t even speak to me freely and I’m sick and tired of the politics

To compare: Think of the step mom in Cinderella or the mom in Naija movies

It felt pretty damn satisfying to post those food posts after all those years of tyranny

I kid you not

And Prince experienced the same, perhaps not as overt as he was strong probably give a good one, two

I was small, frail so I became an easy target

mocked me but never really took the time to show me

then abuse me for not knowing any better

of course I would be jealous

Now that I know Christ I know I don’t have to stoop to that level

And I did a lot of crummy things in my self-destructive behaviour

I’m building myself and my life away from the

insecurity

jealousy

blah

I was asked if I had a female figure in my life

And I do:

Marie, Iris, Marie, Mom, Mabel, Deb, Lucy

People who genuinely are happy to see me succeed and are willing to selflessly share the resources and knowledge that they know so i can succeed and i want to selflessly pay it forward

She was hell bent on my destruction

If I ended up on drugs on the street I can assuredly tell you she wouldn’t care

Probably lick her lips with some sick satisfaction

Because you weren’t given the same opportunities?

I’m not sure it’s not too late to pursue your dreams and I did and still want to help you

Your time will come

But I didn’t unlike other foster kids

No ganja for me I fought and I’m fighting for a future

Where we’re going there is no roads

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medicinemane · 3 years

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I'm actually friends with someone who was tumblr famous

Really brought them nothing but misery sadly. Like everyone forgot there was a real human behind the url

I mean, this is someone I talk with daily and I'd see people spouting trash that it's like if you actually knew this person you'd know that's not even a little true. They weren't dealing with a person, they were dealing with this made up 2D concept they'd concocted in their own head

Everyone famous, politicans, actors, musicians, athletes; they're all just people. There's good ones, there's bad ones, there's an awful lot of mediocre ones. There's certainly a very warped sense of reality a lot seem to have picked up (cause they're so rich they're out of touch), but at the end of the day they're all just people

Anyway, point here is two things. One, there's no reason to get so obsessed over people you'll never know. Enjoying and being interested in hearing ideas from is one thing, but this constant celebrity culture consumption isn't healthy (kind of doubt anyone reading this needs to learn that, feel like we're probably on the same page, so more just ranting)

Two, I'm still mad about how my friend was treated and just wanted to complain about it. If I thought yelling at people on the internet did anything I would have been yelling an awful lot back then. The misery they were put though basically because someone hit sick of seeing them, it makes me livid

So yeah, in many ways no real moral to this, I just felt like saying I'm mad about various things

#i really am still livid about how my friend was treated #if i hadn't thought it would just attach more trouble and drama their way i would have had a number of choice words for some people #like how the person spearheading the harassment was a childish petty immature brat who probably could have benefited from a hobby #because their harassment campaign seemed to mostly because their own life was so miserable and boring #at least that's how it looked from where i was sitting anytime i read any trash they spewed on the screen #i hope for their sake they grew up or will grow up someday because it seems like it would be miserable being them #as for my friend i won't go into detail for confidentiality's sake but suffice to say it was bad for their mental health and did real harm #the people who dog piled on while pretending there was any purpose behind things harmed another person for no particular reason #and sadly i doubt it would weigh on them even a little because they seemed lacking in empathy sympathy and general human decency #so yes I'm mad about this #I'm still mad at this #it's probably not obvious about me but i hold grudges and i hold them hard #it's rare that i get them and a lot of the people i have negative feelings towards i really don't care that much about #but the ones that actually get me to hold a grudge have pissed me off permanently #so i will probably always be mad about this even if it never comes up #to do such damage so pointlessly is unforgivable #especially that bored petulant who really kicked it all off

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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years

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@butterfly-mochi Rewrote this freaking thing thrice because it keeps getting deleted wth tumblr agjvahkfajkvk- I enjoyed writing it a lot tho and since I’m too weak to the characters I ended up writing for all of them (except for Sucrose, im sorry bb huhu, I ran out of brain power). This is my first time writing for so many of them in one go so please excuse me for any mistakes or blandness ywy thank you for letting me write for my baby Ganyu too hhhhh

Universe Reversal 2

Genshin Impact Character Reader and Modern Players with Zhongli, Childe & Ganyu (how they simp for you) (event masterlist / Part 1 / Part 3)

Zhongli the F2P

The most relatable out of the bunch because this man is still broke and can only rely on the primogems he can farm. And he had a LOT. The one thing he doesn’t have a lot on, however, is his luck.

So how did he manage to pull you?: Well after exhausting all his primogem on your banner with nothing but weapons and other characters, he has lost his resolve. But by some weird luck, there was a character bug that was fixed and in his email was the almighty consolation primogem. Enough for ONE pull. And by the Gods he FINALLY got you.

He’d nonchalantly post his screenshot of pulling you using a single acquaint fate in his friend group without any words and everyone else just loses their shit. “You got them in one pull?!” “Yeah” A riot.

This was partnered with the fact that not only is Zhongli an F2P player, but also barely has any five star characters.

He looks calm and apathetic over the news, but behind the screen he’s exhausted and relieved, silently livid.

He has no primogems left to squeeze for a constellation so you’re instead pampered with the best weapon suitable for you (because that’s all he keeps getting).

Zhongles spends most of his time farming for materials to quickly level you up, unlocking all your stories and voiceline, but he fucked up on your build (his artifacts are messy).

He follows communities, forums and videos regarding your character to know all the things he needs to perfect your build. You can barely make a dent against normal mobs, so he knew he was doing something VERY wrong.

Is the type of person to keep refreshing the page for new content, very updated.

Ask him a question about your character and he’s gonna bring you the word vomit that is his research. He’s not gonna stop- probably accidentally developed a copypasta for you.

Also follows your VA in both Tiktok and Twitter to indulge in every bit of content. He also has that screenshot of his pull saved and locked.

On his birthday, a friend of his gifted him a chibi plushie of you and he has treasured it ever since, treating and handling it like its a figurine.

“It is merely pure luck and grace from the gacha gods that I got this character, and I will make sure that they know I am very grateful for this fortune.”

Favorite Voiceline: Birthday Message

Childe The Whaler

This lucky wealthy bastard with no remorse for his money whales for EVERY character. He’s making a collection, which is to get all the characters, especially the five stars. So when your banner finally popped up, he’s gonna square up and trigger a whole ass meteor shower.

How he pulled you: Money. His luck with this games are actually not the best so he always compensates with money, he got you halfway through the first failed pity, almost giving him a heart attack that he might actually break the bank just to get you.

And then he pulls more to raise your constellation lol.

The first thing he does is look over your character info and read through it all; constellation infos, your base stats, artifact compatibility.

At the end when he’s maximized everything, he would then focus on playing around with your character *coughs climbing noises coughs*

He thought you’d just be another part of his collection but playing with your character was very enjoyable and in-line with his playstyle- oops 100 screenshots with the Kamera-

Any and all merchandise that he fancies would be his, and he’s definitely flexing it to the other sweetie nerds who call themselves simps. He’s fighting for the simping title, and he’s currently neck and neck with this fanartist in Pixiv.

Speaking of that fanartist, he definitely commissioned an expensive and detailed portrait of you, full rights and everything. No one else was allowed to use it but him.

Was also the first one with the audacity to call out your VA to create an account on Tiktok to create more content with your voice. He was successful.

His obssession also comes in the form of self-indulgent contents, and had been keeping track of the ship wars happening. During conventions, he cosplays as the character shipped with you the most (or the character he thinks should end up with you).

Silently scrutinizing those who cosplay you, only ever taking pictures with/of the best looking one, sorry haha

Definitely flaunts that you are his waifu/husbando and will fight for best girl/best boy during debates or polls. Has mobilized the community to vote for you once. He’s very persuasive.

“Hm? Why I’m just the best collector in the game, and I am more than happy to let everyone know that I am their number one fan haha, everyone who claims otherwise is definitely wrong!”

Favorite Voiceline: More About (Y/N) I-IV, (Y/N)’s Hobbies...

Ganyu the Employed

Ganyu, our dearest overworker, is one of the players in the older stage who actually has a job but still plays Genshin for their past times. The gorgeous sceneries and the music is her main focus in playing the game, not much of a try-hard but still decent in the combat mechanics.

How she pulled you: You came home within 50 pulls! And you appeared again after another 10 pull! Ganyu was so SHOOKT and so distressed because oh goodness, what does she do? She doesn’t know anything much about you!

Will rewatch your three trailers to try and understand your skills better, ended up saving the soundtracks from them because that was such a nice trailer music! Tnbee gains a new follower!

Ganyu will take a while before she can properly play or build you up because she’s so busy with work, she only ever plays when she feels fully done with her work.

During her break she plays with your character while multi-tasking on eating, earphones plugged in and sight on the phone as she farms materials and artifacts for you.

The moment she gets more help from her player friends tho, holy shit, you just ended up being so OP. She had so many good artifacts and weapons for you because she didn’t know what they were for before.

She loves how you’re so easy to use and can easily solo the enemies and even the boss fights. A huge breather, because now Ganyu can cheese the battles that takes a while, to give her more time to focus on the storyline and lores.

Since Ganyu plays for the story and aesthetic, she’ll find you almost always in her team. Still very proud of her pull, she makes the best screenshots of your fights or in the best angle through exploration.

Treasures you so much she starts talking to her phone- “Ah, no, please don’t fall.” “There’s violetgrass up there, let’s try and get it”

Blushes everytime you produce a sound when climbing, doesn’t change you anyways tho

Hums to your trailer music while working, and if permitted, would have the song on repeat while she buries herself in work. She finds it really refreshing and the time she spends in work miraculously flies by fast when she gets lost in the sound.

At one point, when she was given a day-off or if the convention was on her free time, she attends to look for cosplayers of you and take a picture. No one rejects her because she’s so adorable and cute when asking shyly.

Had brought a decent amount of merchandise, preferably the functional/practical ones like a phone cover, mug or keychain. Also has an earphones clamp with your little chibi self as the holder.

When asked, she would shyly announce that she likes your character the most.

“Their character theme and music really soothes me during work, it feels nice to have them, and I have not once regretted ever pulling for them. They are the best.”

Favorite Voicelines: Good Night/Afternoon..., About Us, Something To Share..., Interesting Things...

so enjoyable...

@moaa @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #ganyu x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact childe #genshin impact ganyu #exile.circlet #exile.flower #sojourner specials #reeeeeeeeee #gender neutral

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Omg it's been so long since I've gotten here in time when requests are open but here I am anyway I hope your doing ok and things went well with your visit with friends &Grandparents anyways I feel weird asking it but after reading your intepretation you caught my intrigue I'd like to request yandere Ging hc of him with a s/o who always tries to move b/c he annoys her but he keeps coming back !!! Feel free to make it soft 😊

It's been a while indeed since I've seen you so I'm happy you made it. Sorry that it took so long, but school enables me to only write one post per day😞. Buuut...I have only one week left before holidays and the last week we won't do much anything so I hope that by tomorrow I'll be able to write more again!

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, stalking, Ging annoying the s/o, meltdown of the s/o

Annoying

🍎I feel you, darling. It has to be exhausting to never know when exactly this man comes back or not, the times he just pops up in front of your house or has already somehow broken in and acting like he is at home. Ging simply can't help making bad impressions on his darling due to his constant absence and the indifference he seems to possess whenever they're pissed and want to scold him for his behavior. As someone who would like avoiding such arguments, he either disappears yet again or at least tries to calm you down in a way that doesn't help in most cases.

🍎You think moving away will work, hmm? Sorry to tell you, but it won't. Despite the impression that Ging doesn't look like he cares much and is a rather messy person, he is a respected Hunter. Connections, the possibilities he has with the status of being a Hunter and his very own skills are nothing to be forgotten and so he will have the new location of his darling found out the moment he finds out that they've moved. It's not like he pushes you into a corner for it the next time he just appears in front of the darling's door, ignoring their flabbergasted impression and going inside.

🍎The Hunter has already figured out from the very first incident why exactly you wanted to move, you were happy in your old home with the only thing annoying you being him. Ging is aware of his behavior and that it often has you feel like you want to rip your hair out yet he never really considered it too deeply. That is the kind of guy Ging is and it makes him a horrible person in more than just one pair of eyes. It just feels like he is not taking his darling seriously and ridicules them and that hurts, not to mention that he is so often away.

🍎So maybe now is the time to start recalling his actions and that he's made you go livid to the point where you do not want to be with him anymore. It becomes more and more visible every time you move away, slam the door shut as soon as he knocks on it or just refuses to open it at all. Something he would call "overreacting" at first seems to only turn more and more turbulent until the very first time his darling has a complete meltdown in front of him whilst he was telling them to chill out. Hysterical screaming and yelling whilst starting to burst out in tears before pushing him with violence out, slamming the door shut behind him.

🍎That was the first time Ging shut up when witnessing all of this, freezing and not knowing what to do. Even after he has been kicked down he doesn't know how to act, only the cries inside the house accompanying his thoughts for a while until you seem to calm down a bit. Overwhelmed would be the word to use for him, the feeling of helplessness and confusion, the feeling of having no idea what exactly to do now. It is the very first time his darling has given him such a emotional reaction, a highly negative one. The turning point where Ging has to ask himself if things can really stay the way they are or if he has to do something.

🍎Obviously he acts like a horrible person, but maybe he just happened to hit the wrong nerve after pocking for so long at you, maybe you just had enough. And as much as he hates troubles like those, even he is not too dumb or lazy to think that he can just act like he always did. Not this time, you clearly despise him by now. And that is not the kind of relationship he wishes to have when with the s/o. But the biggest problem for him now is what he is even suppose to do. He's no expert and will never be. How does someone apologize to their loved one without ruining things even more?

🍎The sudden disappearance from this man is something you're used to and wish for and that is what happens after. But not exactly for the reason you think. Ging believes that what you need now most is time to calm down, visiting you right after your outburst is not a wise option. Additionally he himself needs time to think now on what he should do, how he can make things right again. Well, as right as possible at least. It's written all over his face that something is bothering him and some people actually speak to him because of it. And Ging...well, after some time he tells them in vague details what is on his mind.

🍎Such talks are what turns out to be a big help because some people are surprisingly helpful. Especially all those married people who somewhat sympathize with the Hunter tell him in return their stories and what they did to make up with their partners and lovers. Lots of different advices and stories and yet Ging finds himself still having troubles. He's never done anything like this before so he is more nervous than he would like to admit after he has been away for a bit, tracking down the new home of yours again. Something really has to change.

🍎Blocking the door with his foot as you try to slam it shut right in front of his nose again is within his expectations as well as the yelling and he endures it with the same angering calmness as he always does. It's all the same in his darling's opinion. Until the very moment where he actually pulls out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back, handing them in a somewhat shy manner over. The man is highly embarrassed about it, not able to look his darling straight into their confused face as he stutters out an apology he has practiced beforehand. The practice was useless though, in front of the s/o this is a completely different thing.

🍎Instant forgiveness is not what you give him nor does he expect this. He did go too far about this time and he knows that he should stay to fix this. And he does. Somewhere else of course but it is the very first time he stays for a really long time since the grudge you have against him is not easy. During this time he comes to realize something uite importantt himself, how much of your life he actually missed whilst being constantly away. There are new hobbies and new friends you didn't know you had before and some of those friends are people he doesn't like. Because they're too close and you ignore him for them.

🍎It's rather silly since they're the only ones who kept you company whilst he was always away and he deserves this, but karma is a bitter bitch as he experiences himself. The relationship you two once had is in your eyes probably no more, increasing the danger of you falling in love with someone else, someone who will actually stay with you. Maybe that is why Ging turns unusually petty, following his darling around and biting his tongue when he catches them with one of those people he has officially recognized as love rivals. What a nasty feeling jealousy is and how frustrating your grin is when you caught him jealous for the very first time in a long while. Seems like the roles have reversed, haven't they?

🍎Using his connections is an option, but by now Ging is far too much provoked to do this himself. Not like he was planning before to use it, another drama with you is the last thing on his list he wants. His darling is letting him dance around here for quite a bit to the point where he accuses them mentally for being a sadist since he is pushed to do so many things he never did before and for that feels extremely awkward. Yet he goes through everything with embarrassment burning his skin, the desire to want the relationship far greater.

🍎The s/o comes to realize that he is serious as well, though doubting it at first. But the constant small gifts and the fact that he apologizes whenever he sees themplus tehe valuable fact that he stays around for a very long time convince them after some time. But forgiving him sweetly right after isn't what you would want after all the emotional roller coaster. You'll get back at him for everything before you shall grant him the relationship back. It takes a very long time and by the end of it Ging has probably the most frustrating months of his entire life behind him so it's safe to assume that now he knows how you must feel. Believe me, he has learned his lesson of a lifetime to treat his darling better from now on.

#yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere ging #yandere ging freecss

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alltooreid · 3 years

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Clean

As Spencer struggles to overcome his dilaudid addiction, Y/N is dealing with an addiction of her own, to her toxic, manipulative boyfriend. This is an account of a full year, following their joint journeys to sobriety and new love.

A/N: Hi!! I have another Taylor Swift inspired Spencer Reid one shot (but of course you do not need to know the song to understand the one shot). Although originally I was going to write something more fluffy, I switched to this song to write something more angsty and interesting. However, to change pace from my last one shot, this one has a much happier, hopeful ending. However, it is very triggering so please read the trigger warnings before you start. Also, if you have any songs you want to read please let me know!! Also, if you just have a general request please send it my way! Thank you so much for the love on my All Too Well one shot, I never thought my first fanfic on here would be so well received!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Type: Angst, but hopeful angst

Word Count: 7.6K

Content Warnings: Cursing, mentally and physically abusive relationship, relationship cheating (ie, reader is being cheated on), blood and cuts description, drug addiction (these parts are kept short purposefully), lots of fighting and yelling both in reader’s relationship and between Spencer and reader, however, there is a happy and hopeful ending. Reader is struggling to get out of her toxic relationship, please no comments about her being stupid. If you are in a situation like Y/N, please don’t use this fic as a guide. Get help immediately. https://www.thehotline.org/

Things to Know: Italics and bold are flashback moments, the time and date headers serve as time skips :) let me know what you think! Please request any songs you would like to see be made one shots!

“You're still all over me Like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore Hung my head as I lost the war And the sky turned black like a perfect storm”

3:27 AM, April 16th, 2007.

You have known Spencer for a long time. In fact, you’ve known him longer than you’ve known Randall, and you’ve felt like you’ve known Randall your entire life.

Maybe that’s because you let him become your entire life.

Still, although you had known Spencer for 7 years, 2 years longer than the entirety of your on again, off again relationship with Randall. You still felt weird calling him. He was going through a lot right now, not that he wasn’t normally. Spencer had one of the most difficult jobs you could think of. You know Spencer has shot and killed people before, and you know every time he did it ate him up inside.

And every time he did he called you.

You also knew that Spencer is one of the kindest people you have ever met, you struggle to imagine him wielding a gun on a daily basis. He just seems too sweet, too perfect.

Yet there was a lot you didn’t know about the young genius.

You have no idea that as you stand in the street, contemplating whether you should call Spencer to come and get you, Spencer is making a difficult decision of his own. As you worry about the possibility of waking Spencer up this early in the morning, Spencer sits wide awake and ponders if he has enough time to get high before he has to leave for work in 3 hours.

As you sit on the side of the road, debating between your very few options, Spencer leads up against the side of his bathtub tears pouring down his cheeks, tears that he doesn’t even register as being there.

Fortunately for the both of you, at the same time Spencer reaches into his bag to search for that tiny glass bottle, his phone begins to ring.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You sigh, “He kicked me out again Spencer, is there anyway you can come get me?”

Spencer looks around his apartment, frantically hiding the belt and the needles he had gotten out for the events he was anticipating. “Yeah, of course I can come get you, um, just give me a couple minutes and send me your location.”

3:52 AM, April 16th, 2007.

You’re in the passenger’s seat of Spencer’s car, both of you sitting in silence. This situation isn’t new to either of you, Spencer has picked you up plenty of times before, in fact he’s done it for years now. One time, about 3 years into your relationship with Randall, you were permitted to go out by yourself with Spencer’s team, they wanted to meet you, apparently Spencer talked about you all the time. While you were at dinner with them, Morgan asked you if you had a car of your own. You explained that you did, but that your boyfriend had it a majority of the time, and that when he didn’t he hated you using it because you always had to mess with everything. He hates you touching his stuff. Morgan made a weird face about that answer, so you quickly followed up, explaining that you didn’t mind.

You do mind though. You hate how he never lets you touch anything or go anywhere, and you hate how much he despises your only form of transportation.

Spencer.

Randall hates everything about Spencer Reid, and he especially hates seeing his car pull into your driveway. That’s why after the 8th time he kicked you out, you started walking half a mile to the nearest gas station before calling Spencer.

The first time Spencer came to get you Randall came out to talk to you before you left.

“What are you doing? Who is this?”

“It’s Spencer, he’s gonna take me to his apartment.” you explained, confused why Randall was so angry you were leaving when he was the one who had kicked you out.

“Oh so just because I don’t want to look at your bitchass all night that means you can go sleep with another man? I knew you were a whore Y/N. You know him and his stupid fucking car aren’t going to be able to deal with you the way I can. How old is that thing anyway?”

“Randall, calm down, I’m not sleeping with Spencer. I love you, I don’t want to sleep with anyone else. But I’m not gonna sit out here all night, where else should I go?”

“Well maybe if you weren’t so quick to whore yourself out to the easiest man you could find I would invite you back inside,” he said before slamming the door in your face.

So you got in Spencer’s car, the one Randall would grow to hate so much.

“Are you okay Y/N? He didn’t hit you did he? You know you can come live with me, you should really get out of that house, I can get Morgan tomorrow and we can go get your belongings. I have plenty of-”

You snapped at him, “No Spencer he’s not hitting me! Why do you always jump to that conclusion, Randall is a great guy! I would’ve never called you if you were going to jump to conclusions like this. You’re supposed to be a genius, yet you’re acting like such a dumb ass right now.”

Spencer looked at you, and immediately you regretted your words. You knew Spencer was just worried about you and with his line of work he had reason to be. However before you could apologize he spoke again.

“I’m sorry Y/N, forget I said anything.”

You both sat in silence for a few moments before you even knew what to say, and yet all you could think of was, “Hey Spence, what kind of car do you drive?”

He smiled, “It’s a 1965 Volvo Amazon P130 122S, it’s horizon blue, that’s the color they refer to it as. Did you know they’re known as so reliable that the 4 door models are still used as police vehicles in some places. This one’s a two door, but still runs great. . . “

You smiled, how fitting a man as reliable as Spencer Reid had the perfect car to match.

When you get to Spencer’s apartment something seems off. Spencer has always lived in organized chaos, but this just feels different. Unlike his normal mess, this one feels like a blatant disregard for his things, even some of his most prized possessions. His books are strewn across the floors, his clothes overflowing from his laundry basket, which was a mix of both folded, clean, yet to be put away things and worn items. Weirdly, the one place that looks untouched is his kitchen, as if he hasn’t used it in months. And you mean that in the most literal interpretation, his counters are covered in visible, undisturbed dust.

“Thank you so much Spencer, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He smiles, but his eyes look so tired. “Don’t worry about it Y/N.”

And at 4:47, you finally fall asleep in Spencer’s bedroom, which he insists you take, and he stays awake until he leaves for work just a few hours later.

9:33 PM, April 17th, 2007.

You leave Spencer’s apartment the following night, after an unfortunate screaming match with him. You have never seen him so angry, so easily ticked off. Yet as soon as Randall called you Spencer became aggressive.

“Yeah babe, I’ll be home as soon as I can. I’ll take a cab and be home within the hour. Of course I’m not mad at you sweetheart, I know you didn’t mean it. I love you, see you soon.”

Spencer exitted his kitchen in a huff, and opened his mouth to start talking before you spoke up.

“I’m sure you’ve overheard already, but Randall’s letting me back in the house. Thank you so much Spence. I really appreciate everything you do to help me. Call me soon please, I definitely owe you lunch,” you said, grabbing your coat and your phone, the only things you had managed to grab from your home before your unplanned eviction.

“Why do you even stay with him Y/N? Why do you keep going back there?” Spencer yelled. You had never seen him like this before, so livid and irritable.

“I love him Spence, and he loves me,” you explained, and you were telling the truth. You do love Randall, and you know that in his heart he loves you too, even if he got a little angry sometimes.

“If he loved you he wouldn’t treat you like this Y/N! Don’t you think I would know? I see this everyday! It’s my job! And yet my best friend is too stupid to realize she’s been in an abusive relationship for almost 6 years!”

You were just as angry now, “You’re wrong Spencer, I don’t wanna hear this okay? I love Randall and he loves me. We deserve each other.”

Spencer’s face softened before growing angry once more, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Fuck you Spencer, I’m going home. I don’t need you and I don't need your help,” you said, grabbing your things and slamming the door open. You were lying, you need Spencer and you need his help more than anything, but you didn’t want to admit that while he was being such a dick.

“Fine!” he yelled, “Go run back to him then, but you better not call me when he kicks you out again. I don’t care anymore!”

And so you left, Spencer slammed the door behind you as you stormed out of his apartment. You didn’t stop to think about the fact that Spencer never acts like this. He has never lashed out at you, never questioned your relationship with Randall to your face, let alone scream at you and insult you because of it. You didn’t stop and think about what Spencer was on, or not on, that was making his act like this.

But you thought about it now.

You want to get home before Randall starts to get upset and suspicious, but now after your fight with Spencer you have to walk home. You couldn’t ask him to borrow cash for a cab, let alone ask him to drive you there. You were stuck walking, which also meant you were stuck with Randall’s wrath when you returned.

You already feel terrible about the way you treated Spencer. You think about going to apologize, and stand in front of the door for a second, weighing the pros and cons of doing so. Eventually, you go to turn away, ultimately deciding that you both needed to calm down before speaking to each other again.

Yet as you turn, the door opens. Spencer stands right there, strangely calm, seemingly out of it. All fury and anger you had seen just minutes before gone. In this moment he resembles Randall, and it's the first time you’ve ever been able to draw any comparison to the two.

It’s scary.

“Spencer I-” but you get cut off, not by words, but by an object. Before you can even register what was just thrown in your face the door is closed again. You duck down to grab what was thrown.

Twenty dollars.

For the cab ride home.

1:34 AM, April 23rd, 2007.

You light the final candle on your dining room table, before stepping back to admire your work. Randall always came home so late from work, so you rarely ate dinner together. But today was your anniversary, so you stayed up late, prepared his favorite meal and set up all of your fancy dinnerware so that you could have a very late dinner together before he goes to bed and you go to work. He should be home any minute now.

Yet 3 hours later Randall is not back. You’re just about to cut your losses and call it a night, and start to clean up the melted down candles and cold steak dinner as you hear your front door open.

“Y/N! What are you doing still awake?”

“Do you know what day it is Randall? Because I do.”

He looks down at his watch, checks the time, and looks back up at you, “Well it is now 3:57 AM, meaning it is now Monday. Which is why I’m curious as to what you’re still doing up sweetheart, you have to be at work in 3 hours.” “There’s something special about THIS Monday Randall,” you sigh, you’re disappointed but not surprised, this has happened for the past 3 years.

“Do you have a project going on at work baby? You know I can’t keep track of all that crap, your job is so silly and easy to lose track of. You have to remind me of these things if you actually want me to care about them.”

“It’s our anniversary Randall.”

He stops, but instead of looking guilty or remorseful (like you secretly hoped), he gets livid, “No it’s not, are you stupid or something?”

“Randall, baby it’s okay, it’s not a big deal.”

“No! You stupid fucking bitch, are you trying to make me look bad, cooking this stupid fancy dinner and staying up late. Trying to lie and act like I forgot our five year anniversary?! Stop playing the victim Y/N. So tell me, are you lying to make me feel bad, or is your brain really that fucking empty?”

“It’s our six year anniversary,” you whisper.

“What did you just say?”

“I said I was just being stupid Randall. You’re right baby, I forgot the date of our anniversary.”

He snarls. “I don’t think so Y/N, I think, actually I know that not only are you stupid, but that you’re a liar. I know that you just want to make me look bad by preparing our anniversary dinner a week early. And you have to push it by claiming we’ve been together for six years. I know it’s five. I’m not stupid.”

“I’m sorry, babe,” you cry.

“NO YOU’RE NOT!” he yells, pushing his plate of steak and mashed potatoes, letting your parent’s wedding china shatter on the ground. You cry harder. “You’re a stupid, waste of my time Y/N. Five wasted years I’ve spent on you. Do you know why I do it, huh. Do you know why I stay with you when I could have one of the beautiful, rich, successful, truthful women I’m fucking?”

You shake your head.

“It’s because I feel pity for you. No other man would want you. I’m the only one that will ever love you. You know that right Y/N?” He picks up a piece of your hair, gently tucking it behind your ear. “Tell me that I’m the only one who will love you, you know it’s the truth right?” You nod your head. In a swift motion Randall turns, grabs a glass full of red wine and chucks it at the wall, narrowly avoiding your left ear.

“I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT.”

“You’re the only one who will ever love me Randall,” you croak out in between sobs.

He closes the distance between you two once more, gripping your chin and jerking your face so that your eyes meant his. It hurts, and makes you cry more, but you don’t say anything.

“Don’t you know it sweetness,” he lets go, delivers a sharp slap to your check and grips your wrist. “Now clean your mess up, and then I think it’s best if you get out of the house for a little bit, don’t you agree?”

You nod quickly. He smiles.

“Good girl, now I would normally be worried about you going to hook up with that string bean you’re always all over, but according to the last time I went through your phone, he isn’t in your recent calls. Glad to know he’s finally done with your bullshit. I’m sure a nice long walk alone will do you good. You can think about what led you to lying tonight, and then maybe you can come back in time for our real anniversary.”

He slips upstairs, so you clean up the rest of the uneaten meal and the broken wine class, cutting up your hands severely in the process. You spend at least an hour in a futile attempt to get red wine stains off of your wallpaper, before grabbing your phone and purse and running out the door.

Even after what Randall says, you still think about calling Spencer. Your thumb hovers over the call button for a minute until you switch the contact, phoning your boss instead. You inform her you need a personal day, and that it’s a family emergency.

You check the time, 6:53. Spencer is almost definitely on his way to work right now. You want to call him so bad, but the things he said you ring through your mind. You can’t ask for his help anymore.

For the first time, you are truly on your own.

Until a familiar horizon blue Volvo pulls up next to the curb you’re sitting on, and Spencer Reid sticks his head out the window.

“Y/N? What are you doing here? Get it the car, come on I’ll drive you to work with me.”

Confused as you are, this is your best option right now. So you climb into the passenger seat of his car, refusing to make eye contact with him, instead looking at your bleeding hands. “Oh my god, Y/N. You’re bleeding. Did Randall do this to you? Why didn’t you call me?”

“No, Spencer, Randall didn’t do this to me. He dropped a wine glass and I helped him pick it up. Now just drive.” And he does, drive that is. But you can feel his stares, on your cut up hands, and you forming bruises. You can feel him profiling the signs of abuse on your body.

But more than that you hate that you can feel he’s upset with you. Upset because you didn’t call him. Does he not remember screaming at you not too?

He pulls into the parking lot, parks the car and finally turns to make eye contact with you. He has tears in his, “I really wish you would’ve called me Y/N. If it’s getting this bad I want you to stay with me.”

“Spencer am I going insane?”

“Of course not, what do you mean?” he looks so gentle, so kind and you’re so confused.

“Do you remember what day me and Randall started dating?”

“Yes, it was April 23rd, 2001. 6 years ago today actually. Is that why he did this to you? Does it have anything to do with that?”

“How can you remember that but not our screaming match a week ago?” you laughed, your hands burned now, there’s definitely glass in there, you swear you can feel the tiny little shards in your blood.

“What do you mean, Y/N? We didn’t scream at each other? I haven’t even seen you in weeks. How long has he been hitting you? Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“Spencer, on the 16th you picked me up and took me back to your apartment because Randall kicked me out. On the evening of the 17th I went to leave because Randall told me I could come home. You said I was being abused and called me stupid for going back to him. When we fought about it I stormed out and you told me not to call you if he kicked me out again because you didn’t care anymore. That’s why I didn’t call you.”

You look up at Spencer, and nearly start crying yourself when you see his crumpled face. Tears are freely spilling down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I don’t remember that,” he pushes his long hair out of his face, clearly frazzled, “I- I can’t believe I don’t remember that.”

Before you can say anything, Spencer pulls out his phone. “Hey Hotch, it’s me. I can’t come in today. I need to use a personal day. . . I’ll tell you later. Okay, thank you” He angrily pulls out of the parking lot, and you can tell he’s headed back to his apartment.

“Spencer it’s okay, I’m not upset with you.”

“No Y/N, it’s not okay. I said all those terrible things to you, of course you were scared to call me after them. The worst part is I was too high to even remember it all. I- I just can’t believe I helped him do this to you,” tears still freely flowing down his face.

“Spencer what are you talking about? I was with you all day, you weren’t high. You don’t even drink, how could you be high?”

He sighs, “do you remember when I was kidnapped by that unsub, Tobias Hankel? About 2 months ago?” You nod, encouraging him to continue. “Well, I told you about his multiple personalities, how one beat me to death and then Tobias resurrected me, how I had to kill Tobias in order to survive, even though Tobias himself did nothing to me. Well when I was in the barn, Tobias would give me drugs, dilaudid, in order to cut the pain of his other personalities’ abuse. When I killed him, I took the drugs he had one him with me, and I can’t stop Y/N. It’s affecting my life, my work, and now it’s affecting you.” He parks his car in his apartment complex’s lot and turns to look at you. “Hotch has never said anything about it, so even though the team knows I have no reason to quit, I think I do now. Y/N, I think we need to get clean together.”

Suddenly that night made sense, Spencer was irritable and strange, he wasn’t high, he was going through withdrawal. But when he threw the money at you, so loopy and out of it, he was on it. He was so high he didn’t remember the moments before.

“Spencer, I don't know what to say. I want to help you get sober, I want that more than anything, but I’m not addicted to drugs, I rarely even drink.”

“I know Y/N, you don’t have a drug problem like me, but you are an addict. You need to leave Randall. You know it, I know it, but you can’t.” You open your mouth to defend yourself, but Spencer continues to speak, “It’s okay, I understand why. But we both need to quit, and I think it’s best if we do it together.”

“Well how are we supposed to do that,” you whisper.

“Come on, let’s get started,” you and Spencer exit his car, he loops your hands together, leading you up to his apartment. When you get there, he digs through his messenger bag and grabs a couple of tiny glass bottles and a syringe. He throws them into his garbage can, and turns to look at you.

“Pull out your phone.”

“What? Why?”

“We’re going to block Randall’s number.”

You want to fight him on it, but you know he’s right. You need to leave Randall, and now’s as good of a time as any. Yet, you can’t forget the things he’s said to you. “I can’t Spencer, he’s my boyfriend, he loves me.”

“Y/N, please, please do this with me.” You shake your head, he sighs. “Okay, I get it, this is going to take time. Just, um, stay with me for a couple days. Please. We can go get your stuff tomorrow night.”

You think about rejecting Spencer’s offer, but you really don’t want to go back there. More than anything, you want to stay right here. You try to tell yourself it’s because you’re worried about Spencer, but deep down you know it’s more than that. So you nod, and Spencer wraps you in a hug, burying his head into your shoulder.

“Thank you, Y/N. Now let’s go get your hands wrapped up.”

9:21 PM, May 2nd, 2007.

You’ve been staying at Spencer’s for just over a week now. You haven’t seen Randall since your anniversary, and Spencer hasn’t taken dilaudid while you’ve been here. Things are going well. You’re watching a lot of bad reality TV, and Spencer has gone through about 7 packs of Gatorade, but you’re both doing okay.

Now you were just waiting for him to come back from his case in Idaho, you knew this one was pretty bad. They were searching for a woman in the middle of a huge forest, as she was being hunted and chased down. Spencer called you right before getting on the jet, and told you he would be home soon, so now you were just waiting for him.

While doing so however, you found something. A lump on Spencer’s side of the mattress. Under it, were two small glass bottles and a syringe. The same ones you had seen Spencer throw into the garbage days prior.

Now you need to talk to Spencer, so you sit on his couch, and wait for him to come home. When he comes through the door, he immediately sees you and smiles. “Y/N! I’ve missed you.” He hugs you, and for a second you forget why you’re even mad at him in the first place.

“Spencer, I need to talk to you. I found your bottles.” The mood in the room instantly shifts, but you don’t care, you need to get your words out. “You told me you were quitting, I watched you throw them away.”

He brushes his hairs through his hair, and begins to mess with his hands. “I am quitting Y/N, I haven't taken any, but. . . I just need them to be there.”

“Spencer, please, throw them away. I’m trying to help you here.” Suddenly he grows very angry, and you can tell you said the wrong thing.

“Well I’m trying too. To me it seems the only one not trying is you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, you still haven’t blocked Randall, he still calls all the time! Why do I have to throw my addiction away if you can’t even do the same to yours?”

“That's not fair.”

“How so?” he yells. “How is it that you can’t block your abusive, no good piece of shit boyfriend but I have to throw away the things I enjoy? That doesn’t feel like trying to me.”

“I’m not addicted to Randall Spencer, I just love him. I don’t want or need to quit him.”

“Oh really? Then why are you even still here? Why haven’t you answered his calls? Or gone to see him? I think you know exactly why.”

And you do. You don’t want to go back there, but what Randall says is true. He is the only one who will love you, and you’re not ready to lose that yet. You’re not ready to cut off all contact with him.

“I can leave if that’s what you want Spencer.”

His face softened, “no, that’s not what I want. That’s the last thing I want.” He stops and thinks for a moment. “If you block Randall I’ll throw away my dilaudid.”

You ponder it, “Okay.”

He breaks into a wide smile. “Really? You’ll do it?”

You smile at him.

“Yeah, I promise. I’ll block Randall.”

6:56 PM, May 30th, 2007.

You did not block Randall.

Even after watching Spencer pour out his bottles, breaking up the glass and tossing it away for a second time, you couldn’t. Even after seeing him snap his syringes in half, and feeling him kiss your forehead, after seeing how happy and excited he was for your fresh start together, you just couldn’t do it.

Spencer thought you did, and it was easy to hide the truth from him. Randall hadn’t called since then, so you and Spencer continue to spend time together, last week you celebrated one month of sobriety. You got an ice cream cake and little, silly party hats and exchanged gifts.

And it made you feel like shit.

Spencer was so happy, so proud that you had both been clean for a month, but you still couldn’t decide if you wanted to be clean at all.

You still can’t decide if you should block Randall’s number.

You try not to think about it, instead focusing the energy into making you and Spencer virgin pina coladas, he was currently out picking up burgers from your favorite restaurant. When he returns, you were going to watch one of your crappy reality TV reruns, and then an episode of Doctor Who. It was Spencer’s idea a couple days ago, and quickly it became a regular occurrence.

Faintly over the loud whir of the blender you can hear your phone ringing. You run quickly to go grab it, just in case Spencer needed your help with something, but your heart drops when you see the caller ID. It’s Randall, trying once again to contact you.

Your thumb hovers over the accept button, but before you can make a decision, the call times out and sends Randall to voicemail. You let out a breath and set your phone down.

But then something possesses you, and you snatch your phone and dial Randall’s number. He picks up on the 3rd ring.

“Baby, oh my god baby is that really you?”

He sounds so excited to hear from you, how could you have stayed mad at him for so long?

“Yes baby, it’s me. I’m sorry I haven’t answered your calls at all. I’ve been busy.”

“Don’t worry sweetness, I’m so so sorry for the things I said to you, I need you to come home. You missed our anniversary you know? But it’s okay! We can celebrate now! I got you a really beautiful gift, one we can definitely experiment with tonight.” You could hear his smirk over the phone.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to come back right now, maybe later baby, but not right now.”

You hear his breathing pick up, and tense. You can tell he’s getting agitated. He wasn’t expecting you to answer like that, you always come home as soon as he tells you you can come back. “What do you mean? You’re being ridiculous, I want to see my girlfriend. I’m sure you want to get off of the streets too, you’ve been squatting for over a month now.”

“I’m not squatting Randall, I’m living with Spencer.”

“What!?” he yells. “I thought I told you not to stay with him. I hate that guy, you know that.”

“Would you rather me be on the streets Randall? Spencer’s a great guy, and I want to stay here.”

“Frankly, yes I would. But don’t worry, you can still come home. Just send me the prick’s address and I’ll come pick you up. We can enjoy tonight together.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I’m not going to send you Spencer’s address. I’m staying here. I don’t want to see you anymore. Leave me alone Randall. I’m done.”

Before he could say anything, you hung up. As you did so you heard the front door open, and Spencer made his way to the bedroom.

“Hey! I got burgers! Ready to eat?” he looks down to see your phone still resting in your hand, stuck on the phone app. “Who were you talking to?”

“Just an old friend,” you say.

“Think you’ll be talking to them again anytime soon?” you can tell he knows, and you’re surprised he isn’t lashing out at you. You’re so used to how Randall reacts when you go against his wishes, Spencer’s calm, understanding presence is like a breath of fresh air.

“No, I think I’m ready to leave them behind,” you smile at each other. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a sec okay?”

He nods, and goes to set up the food and TV.

It takes you seven seconds to block Randall.

1:12 AM, June 10th, 2007.

You haven’t gone out with your coworkers in months, you forgot how good it feels to just be present with people. You didn’t even drink tonight, wanting to remember every second of this time out with friends. You were beaming when you unlocked the front door.

Yet your smile slips when you enter what had become you and Spencer’s shared bedroom.

He isn’t there.

You pull out your phone to call him when you hear a thud coming from the bathroom door. You hesitate, scared of what you know you’ll likely find. When you finally throw the door open you’re already teary eyed, and these sobs escalate as soon as you see Spencer, tipped over, lying on the bathroom floor, the needle still sticking out of his arm.

You’re sobbing as you rip it out, hastily undoing the belt wrapped around his upper forearm. He looks up, even in his groggy haze you can see the guilty look in his eyes when they made contact with yours.

“Y/N. . . I- I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me but I just couldn’t stop myself . . . I-”

“Shhh, It’s okay, just breathe,” you whisper through your tears. “It’s going to be okay Spencer, I’m here, and it’s going to be okay. I’m staying right here.” You pull his head into your lap, stroking your shaking hands through his hair.

His head begins to shake, and you can feel his tears on your dress. You rest your head on his, and for a few seconds you just sit there, crying together.

“You’re going to be okay Spencer.”

8:09 AM, June 11th, 2007.

Your head is buried in his chest, you need to be able to hear him breathe. You need to hear his heart beating. You need to be as close to him as possible right now. He stirs as he wakes up, and wraps his arms around you.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.”

“Don’t apologize Spencer, this is a part of recovery okay? You’re still in recovery, just because you relapsed doesn’t mean we have to start over. You’re so much stronger than you were before. So much braver. So much better. You can do this.”

He smiles at you, “thank you, thank you so much.”

“Of course, now withdrawal is going to be even harder this time. I’m going to the store. We’re going to need plenty of Gatorade and water. We have to flush everything out of your system. Do you mind if I take your car to the store?”

He beams, even in his groggy state he manages to look so perfect, “You know my car is always yours to use Y/N.”

“I’ll be back soon okay? Don’t move a muscle,” you grab his keys and head out the door. And you really do mean it, you fully intend this to be the shortest grocery trip of your life. You’re terrified of leaving Spencer alone long enough to get high again, even though you spent all day yesterday searching for drugs and throwing anything you found in the garbage, taking it out the main apartment dumpster that night.

You get to the store, grab everything you need, 3 packs of blue Gatorade, 6 cases of water bottles, and the store’s entire stock of Jell-O and rush back to Spencer’s car. You were only in the store for 17 minutes, the majority of which was just check-out time. You smile, thinking of how excited Spencer will be when he sees all the Jell-O in the fridge, but feel your stomach drop when you see a familiar face examining Spencer’s car.

Randall.

Before you can decide what to do, he turns and sees you.

“Y/N! I was expecting Spencer, but this is even sweeter. I knew I recognized this hunk of junk. Where have you been?”

“I’ve been around, I’m kind of on a tight schedule here. I really need to get going,” you say as you load up your groceries into Spencer’s trunk.

“That’s a lot of Jell-O sweetheart, you hate Jell-O.” That’s not even true. You hate pudding, you love Jell-O.

As much as you wanted to yell at him for calling you sweetheart, you couldn’t deny that it felt good. You still missed him. Blocking him helped, but you still felt strong urges to call him sometimes. “It’s not for me, it’s for Spencer.”

“I thought I told you not to stay with him anymore.”

“What part of that conversation would make you think I would listen to you?” you say.

“You should always listen to me Y/N, I’m your boyfriend.”

“I haven’t seen you in months, we’re not dating anymore. I’m done.”

“You don’t mean that you’re just being irrational. Are you on your period? I bet that’s it. Come get breakfast with me. You probably just need chocolate, and the place down the block has incredible chocolate waffles.”

You open your mouth to reject him, but you can’t. Part of it is because you know if you do then he’ll follow you back to your apartment and the last thing you want is for him to know where you’re living right now. But the other part is much worse. A big part of you wants to let him try again. You can’t explain why, but you really want for him to redeem himself as your first love.

“Ok, you have 20 minutes, let’s go get breakfast.”

The walk there is silent and awkward. Randall grabs your hand, too tight for you to do anything about it, and keeps this grip until you sit down in your booth.

You don’t get chocolate waffles. You really don’t even like chocolate all that much. Randall knows that, or at least you thought he did. Instead you get cinnamon french toast, and within minutes it’s at the table.

“You know baby, Spencer doesn’t love you.” He says halfway through your french toast.

“We aren’t dating Randall.”

“Doesn’t matter, you’ve been with him in that apartment for a while now. I’m surprised he hasn’t given you the boot.”

You sit in silence, Randall takes this as a sign to continue. “We’ve been together for five years, sweetness. No one can love you the way I do. That’s just a fact. Spencer fucking Reid can not replace me, no one can replace me.”

“I hate that you’re right. I hate that I can’t breathe when I’m not with you Randall. I hate that you’re stuck to me. You’re this god awful stain on my life. I hate looking at it but no matter what I do I can’t wash it off.”

He smirks. “You’re not gonna get rid of me Y/N.” He pays the check, and gets up from the table. You go to get up too, but notice he didn’t tip your waitress, so you leave another five bucks on the table.

When you get outside he grasps your shoulders. “I knew you would come around Y/N, I knew you would get it. Now come on, we can go collect your stuff from that prick’s apartment and get you home. I know exactly how you can make it up to me.”

You pause, “I don’t think so Randall. I’m not ready quite yet, but I promise I’ll call you.” You meant it, you had already unblocked him from your phone.

“Oh absolutely not, you’re going home with me now.”

“No I’m not.” As you were yelling at each other you notice a strangely familiar face standing nearby, just in ear shot. You can’t place him, but you know you’ve met before.

“Yes you are! We’re happy together and you’re coming to live with me again!”

“We don’t love each other, Randall! Not right now at least!”

He’s livid, and once again you feel that scared, indescribable feeling in the pit of your stomach. “That’s not true! I’ll prove it to you.” He grabs your chin and pulls your face to his.

You feel as if water is filling your lungs, you’re drowning and no one is around to save you. Randall is physically stronger than you, you’re stuck in his grasp. It’s like you’re screaming and no one can hear you.

And yet, this flood of emotions you’re feeling is the first time you realize something.

You’re addicted to Randall.

You need to get out.

You need to get back to Spencer.

After what feels like minutes (but is actually about 3 seconds) of being unseen and vulnerable, you discover you’ve been protected the whole time. The man you can't place rips Randall off of you, “What’s wrong with you? Get off of her!”

It’s his voice that lets you place him. Derek Morgan, Spencer’s closest friend and coworker, punches Randall in the face. “Get out of here!”

“What the fuck is wrong with YOU? That’s my girlfriend! Sweetheart, tell him to leave us alone!”

They both turn and look at you, with tears in your eyes you look at Morgan and shake your head. “Please, get him to leave.”

And Morgan does just that, with a little yelling and a flash of his FBI badge, Randall is running for the hills.

“Come on baby girl, let’s get you back home. Did you walk here?”

You shake your head, “No, I drove Spencer’s car here.”

“Well, how bout I drive you home, and then afterwards I swing back and get Spencer’s car and drop it off?”

So you do just that. After profusely thanking Morgan, and him insisting that it was nothing, and also insisting to carry your groceries in from the car, you and Spencer are together once again.

“I’m so sorry Spencer, I didn’t believe you before. I was going to go back to him. How could I be so stupid?”

“Don’t talk like that Y/N, you said it best yourself. Just because you relapse doesn’t mean you aren’t trying, and it most certainly doesn’t mean you’re stupid.”

“I think it’s time we get clean Spencer. Both of us, once and for all.”

“I think so too Y/N.”

He pulls you into a hug and in between sniffles you manage to choke out what you’ve been wanting to say since you got into Morgan’s car. “I love you.”

He looks at you, and the look in his eyes almost makes you cry out of pure joy. He looks so happy, as if he’s been waiting for you to say that for years.

Maybe he has.

“I love you too.”

7:29 AM, April 16th, 2008.

You press your lips to Spencer’s, you know he has just woken up, but you know it’s a big day for him.

You both have been sober for over ten months now. Today is the day of his first group meeting. He found Beltway Clean Cops recently, and has been so excited to go. You’re excited for him. You know how proud he is of you, and you want to show him in every way possible that you’re proud of him.

He opens his eyes and smiles up at you. “What did I deserve to get a wake up like that?”

“What kind of question is that? You’re incredible, and an incredible boyfriend deserves an incredible morning. Do you know what else he deserves?”

He hums and waits for the answer.

“An incredible breakfast! That’s why I made blueberry pancakes. Now hurry up and come eat. You should leave soon if you want to make it to your meeting on time. Have I told you yet how incredibly proud I am of you?”

He smiles, “Only an average of 15.6 times a day since I told you I was going.”

“Well that’s not nearly enough, now come on, get up. It’s pancake time,” you say. “Oh, and Spencer?”

“Yes flower?”

“I’m so proud of you.”

He smiles, “I love you flower.”

“I love you more.”

You ate breakfast together and then forced Spencer out the door, making sure he had plenty of time to get to his meeting. You knew he would regret it if he was late.

You weren’t going to lie to yourself, you still thought about Randall a lot. You still missed him. You still love him in a way. But now that you had Spencer, now that you were clean together, you would never risk going back to him.

That day where you agreed to go to breakfast with him, Derek asked you if you wanted to press charges. You didn’t, you don’t regret that either.

You’re even more proud of yourself this way, because you know he’s still there, still accessible and available to you, and still didn’t run to him. You know that any trace of Randall in your future is gone.

You know you and Spencer are finally clean.

“Ten months sober, I must admit Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it Ten months older I won't give in Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it”

- Thank you for reading! Please reblog and let me know what you think :))

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x reader #spencerreidxreader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #reid x reader #criminal minds reid #reid fanfic #reid #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds spencer reid #criminal minds angst

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kpop---scenarios · 3 years

Text

Same Time (2)

Part One | Part Two

Pairing: Changbin x Reader / Minho x Reader

Warning: Angst, Smut

Word Count: 3k

Taglist: @binnieboyswhore @f4ncyvelvet @skittlez-area512 @biaswreckingfics @buttvi @imhyvnjin @wheeintaer @rindomo @lizsvcks @zhaqifa @markswifeu

Unable To Tag: @hwly0ung

You're sitting on your couch, binge watching a drama when suddenly there's a pounding on your front door, which makes you jump. You stand up, walking over to your door and stare at the security camera.. A smile spreads across your face as you see Changbin standing on the other side, his hands full, carrying bags of food.

You open the door, smiling at the man standing before you.

"Hey there." He smiles. "Hungry?" He smirks, raising his eyebrow.

You let out a soft chuckle as your heart flutters, as do the butterflies floating around in your stomach, the grin on your face is hard to get rid of. "Of course I am. You know me too well." You say. Changbin scurries in, placing the food on your kitchen table for heading to the fridge to get the two of you some wine to enjoy with your meal. You grab the plates at whatever cutlery you need to use, setting two places at your table. Both of you sit down, opening the bags of take out, passing the food around until both your plates are full.

As the two of you sit there eating and talking, you momentarily forget that you're not actually in a relationship with this man. You forget that to him, you're just his friend, and to everyone else the two of you are only friends. You forget that majority of the time when he's with you and someone calls, he almost always says he's alone or with someone else. You forget that you're not nearly as important to him as he is to you, and for a moment your heart doesn't hurt quite as much.

You're in your own head as you watch this man who has so much of your heart, and you can see why he does. You could never get tired of looking at him, the way he runs his hand through his hair, exposing his forehead. The way his Adam's apple bobs as he takes a sip of his wine, the crinkles in his nose when he laughs too hard at a joke. You wished he looked at you the same way you looked at him, but you could feel that it was never going to happen. You knew this would be as close as you got to a real relationship with Changbin. And you were okay with that. You were okay with being a pussy to cum inside, as long as he was the one doing it. You knew this wasn't healthy though, you knew you were out of your mind doing this, which is why you had said yes when Minho asked you out, and if he asked you out again, you'd say yes. You knew you needed a way out of Changbin's grip on your heart, but a part of you also didn't want to make him let go.

You shake your head, trying to come out of your own thoughts as you look at him again. "Hey." You smile at the handsome man. "My shower keeps leaking, can you look at it for me?" You ask.

"Sure." He smirks. "After dinner, we can go have a shower and I can look at it. There's something I want to try." He chuckles.

"What's that?" You ask, taking another bite of food.

"Your shower head is detachable right?" He grins.

"It is." You say, a little skeptical.

"Excellent." He whispers. "You know what, we can finish later." He grunts, standing up from the table. He moves around, gripping tightly to your wrist to pull you up, dragging you to the bathroom behind him.

"Strip." He demands as he turns to turn on your shower, making sure it's warm enough. You quickly discard your clothes, stepping into your shower and under the hot water as Changbin gets undressed before joining you in the shower. He leans down, pressing his lips to yours, taking your head in between both his hands, kissing you passionately and like he felt more towards you then he let on. He moves one hand down your body, dragging his finger over the curvature of your breast, down your stomach and between your legs. He moves his fingers between your legs, tapping your clit. Your knees buckle as he gently rubs you, his partially hard cock pressing against your bare skin.

Changbin pulls his finger out from between your legs, reaching up to grab your shower head, switching the pressure.

He turns you around, your back flush against his chest, his cock poking your ass. He lifts up one of your legs, resting it on the edge of the tub as he moves the shower head in front of you, spreading your lips with his free hand. Your body spasms as the hard water hits your clit, causing the jolt. Your rest your head on Changbins shoulder as you move your hips, grinding yourself against the water.

"Fuck." You hiss, bringing your hand up to squeeze your breast, rolling your nipple between your fingers.

"You like that?" He asks, whispering in your ear.

"Oh yeah." You moan.

You reach your arm behind you, gripping his cock as you stroke him, making him breathe heavily and moan into your ear.

You clench your pussy as the shower head hits you just right, building your orgasm. You've never been able to cum this fast, or felt like you needed to so urgently.

"Cum baby." He moans in your ear, nibbling on your lobe.

"Christ." You cry out, you bend over as your orgasm hits, pulsating through your body as you work through one of the best orgasm you'd ever had.

Changbin quickly stands you up, pushing you against the wall. He reaches down, pulling your legs. You jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he pushes your back against the wall again. He guides himself to you, pushing his cock inside of you, stretching your walls. No matter how many times Changbin fucked you, it still hurt when he pushed his cock inside of you.

Changbin snaps his hips, thrusting inside of you as a quick pace. You knew this fuck would be a quick one, since you already came now it was just about him. He rests his head in the crook of your neck as he fucks you.

You clench your pussy around his dick, making him moan, his warm breath soaking your neck. You wrap your legs around him as tight as you can, helping him push himself inside of you as far as he can.

"Fuck baby." He groans, his hand wrapping around your neck, squeezing.

His body stiffens as he cums, shooting his cum inside your pussy. "Oh god." He groans, slowly thrusting as he comes down from his thigh.

"Fuck your pussy is perfection." He sighs, pulling out of you. You step out of the shower, wrapping yourself up in a towel as Changbin quickly tightens your shower head, stopping the leak. He steps out behind you, with a smile on his face as he wraps himself in a towel.

You lay in your bed with your towel wrapped around you, your damp hair soaking your pillow as Changbin spoons you, nuzzling his head into the crook of his neck.

"Ahh." He sighs. "I could stay like this forever." He whispers.

"With me?" You ask, hoping and pleading for the answer you want.

"Of course with you." He murmurs, still nuzzled into you. You both lay there for a moment in complete silence, the sound of your heart beating is the only thing you can hear.

Until his phone begins to ring, loudly. He groans even louder as he rolls over, grabbing his phone. He glances at the caller ID and stands up, mumbling something about taking it in the other room.

You sit up as you listen intently to the conversation he was having. "Hey man, what's up?" He asks.

It's quiet for a moment before you hear him laughing. "Nah man, just at some chick's house." He comments. "Nah, her pussy is immaculate, but she's ....." He laughs,”Where do you get these phrases? But yeah... i guess....It's like watching paint dry."

You feel the lump appear in your throat as tears prick in your eyes. Is that how He truly felt about you? Comparing you to drying paint? You were that boring? This felt like a massive kick in the fucking heart, and you were livid. How could you let him treat you like you were nothing, and just sit back because it's him.

The tears roll down your cheeks just as Changbin rounds the corner, coming back into your room. "Ayn?" He asks, kneeling down so you're face to face. You quickly stand up, knocking him back a bit, leaving him confused. "What's wrong?" He asks.

"Don't." You spit through gritted teeth. "Just get out." You whisper.

"What? Why? What did I do?" He asks, standing back up.

"She's like watching paint dry." You quote, looking at him with such pain in your eyes.

"That.. that wasn't about you. I'm just trying to make sure no one knows." He says.

"Yeah, you're really good at making sure no one finds out." You spit. "Just go Changbin."

"Ayn, come on. You're being dramatic."

"Get the fuck out of my apartment." You cry, desperately trying to not throw something at him.

"Fine." He says, putting his hands up. He quickly pulls on his pants and his shirt, heading to the front door to put his shoes on before opening the door. He looks at you one last time to make sure you're serious. You say nothing to him as he scoffs, closing the door behind him with a partial slam.

You head back to your bed, plopping down as your tears freely flow onto the sheet that he had just been laying in. Your heart hurt and you didn't want it to anymore. As you sniffle your phone rings. You crawl to grab it, immediately perking up when you see that it's Minho calling. You take a large breath before answering his call.

"Hello?"

"Hey you." He says. "How are you?"

"I'm okay, now." You laugh. "And you?"

"I'm good.. listen." He pauses. "I had a question for you?"

"Okay?" You reply.

"Would you have dinner with me tomorrow?" He asks, you can hear the nervousness in his voice through the phone.

"I'd love to." You eagerly reply.

"Excellent. I'll pick you up at 7pm. Sleep tight, Ayn." He says before hanging up the phone.

Suddenly, your heart didn't hurt quite as bad.

The next night you were getting ready for your date with Minho, and you had heard nothing from Changbin all day but were you really surprised after what had happened the night before. As you put on the finishing touches of your lip stick, there's a knock at your door. A smile immediately spreads across your face as you grab your purse and make your way to the door. You open it to reveal a very nicely done up Minho.

"Hey you." He smiles, reaching out his hand for you to take. "You look absolutely gorgeous."

Your smile widens at his sincere compliment. You take his hand and allow him to lead you out of your apartment and down to his waiting car.

On the drive over, you and Minho laughed until you couldn't breathe, and you were never short in conversation. There wasn't a moment in the car where there was any silence, unless it was from the momentarily silent laughter that came from the two of you.

The restaurant was no different. The two of you were seated at a table and the conversation just continued to flow. Minho was so easy to talk to and he understood your jokes, he laughed at your silly comments and he made you feel alive, something you hadn't felt in a really long time.

"So then I look at him and I'm like, what the hell are you doing?" He laughs. You took a bite of your food, shaking your head at the story he had just told you, trying to hold in your laughter with your full mouth.

"You two are too much." You say after swallowing your food and taking a sip of your water.

Minho looks at you for a second, gently smiling as your eyes lock. "I'm really happy you said yes." He tells you, a blush spreading across his face.

"So am I. I'm having a really great time." You admit, putting your fork down. You look down at your plate before looking back up, your eyes looking just past Minho and landing on someone who looked very familiar. You squint your eyes, hoping that they're playing tricks on you but they aren't.

You see Changbin a few tables away, sitting across from a woman with long dark wavy hair and a figure you would die for. They're laughing and drinking, and your mood completely changes. Your heart sinks to your stomach, you can't help but wonder who she is.

Minho turns his head, looking to where you are and sees Changbin. "Oh hey. I didn't know he was coming here." Minho laughs.

"Who is he with?" You ask, trying to remain casual.

"Hwasa. They mess around every now and then, I think he likes her though." Minho laughs.

You nod your head as you fight the tears that so desperately want to roll down your cheeks. "Are you okay?" Minho asks, looking worried at you.

"Yeah.. yeah I'm good. Can we go? I just need to go." You say, forcing a smile.

Minho doesn't say anything else but waves down the waiter, getting both of your food packed up and pays the bill. He slides his arm around your waist as the two of you leave and honestly you felt so comfortable with him being so close to you. You really liked it.

You and Minho sit in his car and you try to think of a way to apologize to him for cutting the date short. "Hey." He starts. "I promised a friend I'd stop by his party for like half an hour. Do you want to come?" He asks, hopeful that you'll say yes. He really wasn't ready to say goodbye to you just yet.

A smile spreads on your face. "Sounds great." You answer. Minho happily starts the car, heading off to his friend's party.

You're uncomfortable.

You follow behind Minho through a crowded house, the smell of weed lingering in the air as well as sweat, from the people dancing in the living room. You're happy the music isn't too loud, you're able to hear important conversations.

Minho stops, casually greeting a group of women, who begin to whine his name.

"Minho, my baby." One woman pouts. "Where have you been?" She asks, stroking his arm.

"Busy with work." He laughs, slyly removing his arm from her grasp.

"You never called me, like you promised." Another one slurs, waving her finger in his face. She moves her finger down to his chest, resting her hand there.

You feel even more uncomfortable, like this is definitely something you shouldn't be seeing right now. Maybe this was a mistake coming here, you most definitely felt like the fifth wheel with these three beautiful women standing in front of him. Why would he have asked you out then? He had all these options and he chose to settle with boring you?

Your intrusive thoughts continued to fill your brain, telling you that you weren't anywhere near good enough for Minho, that he must have been so bored on the date with you. Maybe everything was in your head? The laughing, the jokes, maybe it was all forced on his side. Your head drops as you begin to feel even worse. This night was a bust.. until, Minho seemed to prove you wrong.

He awkwardly chuckles at the forward advances of the women in front of him, reaching behind him to look for you. You reach your hand out, grabbing onto his and he pulls you forward, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

"I've been busy ladies, with this beautiful woman. This is Ayn, my date this evening, and hopefully many more to come." He smiles. "Now if you'll excuse us." He finishes, moving past the shocked looking women, holding you closely as he continues to search for his friend.

You and Minho sit outside your apartment complex in his car, your hands linked together. You didn't want to let go, you didn't want to go inside and have the date end but you knew it needed to.

"I had a really great time tonight, Ayn." Minho blushes, looking you in the eyes.

"Did you?" You whisper.

"Of course. You're so fun to be with." He grins, which of course makes you smile back at him.

"Would you.." you pause. "Want to get together in a few days?" You ask, your stomach twisting as you wait for his answer.

"I'd love to, but we have a pretty strict schedule until next week. But you know what, why don't you come and watch us? I'd love to have you there." He exclaims, getting excited about the idea. "I've always wanted to have you come watch me." He shyly says.

"I would love to!" You pipe up. "Is that allowed?"

"I don't see why not." He chuckles. "Changbin brings Hwasa there all the time." He says, so casually.

Your heart sinks.

You really weren't good enough for Changbin, were you?

You force a smile and nod your head. "So are he and Hwasa like.. serious?" You casually ask.

Minho laughs. "I've never seen him actually be serious about anyone before. Hwasa is the only one he's ever taken on dates. Not the girls he.." Minho shakes his head and chuckles. "Says are as interesting as watching paint dry."

Your heart almost stops at hearing that phrase. You had only ever heard it come from one other person, Changbin.

It was just a coincidence, right?

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