#i really dislike tumblr's bull sometimes

[heckinhacker]

hi so i was wondering if u could do one like “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.” but with kyle, like they are the same and everything, idk if u have already done it

Kyle Broflovski x Reader - South Park might be saved, after all??

Which means we get the version where Kyle meets someone similiar to himself! It's like a 'sequel', (but not really, more like an alternative version with same trope) to “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.”

Remember that when I write for South Park, they're teenagers at less(16 y/o minimum), adults at most! it's silly i write it every south park post but better safe than sorry~

I gave Kyle green color for easier reading experience in dialogues!

note: color code might be broken because lately tumblr on pc is being silly goofy

Kyle had a great grasp of how fucked up situations in south park are having occurances

Aaand he's pretty aware there will be noone else who understands him.

Or so he thought.

There is a new student announced to be in his class while you all were in 4th grade or so?

And you seemed not too quiet, nor too shy, but surely smart enough not to push yourself into any weird situations.

Teacher sat you both together and Kyle tries to talk you up-

"Hey! I'm Kyle, it's refreshing to have a new face around. Want to play with us on long break?"

It's nice to have a new group to play with, so you agree.

Ah, kids and their not complicated feelings, right? <3

You tag along, and you grew really quickly to dislike Cartman-

It's not hard to hate him he's UNBEARABLE,

Kyle wants to let out his signature "Shut up, fatass!"

but you beat him to it-

"Shut up, fatso, mama did not taught you to behave, or was she absent in your life like yo papa?"

You had NO idea he's fatherless and it made other guys go "OOOHHHH--"

you made yourself an enemy in Cartman,

but an ally in Kyle.

You seemed to have similiar nerdy interests,

From playing Stick of Truth and heroes,

to DnD (that he played online, because not with his group-- but he invited you into his new online session!!)

Beside Terrance and Philip, Kyle also liked that vampire/werewolf series called "Under Devil's grasp" that seemed mostly for girls or boring, yet he liked it in secret and once he caught you watching first episodes, just...because,

and then joined you, for his own re-watch and your first watch, he liked seeing how you reacted

"HOW COULD YOU?" you asked out of sudden once, in a call,

"How could I what?" Kyle asks, having you on speaker while he does his homework.

" YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME THAT BARRY WILL BE KILLED AND YOU DID NOTHING TO WARN ME, I GREW TO LOVE HIM AND NOW HE'S GONE."

"Well, you said no spoilers?"

"KYLE."

He giggles, "Plus he had death flags since always so-"

He's playing, it turns out Barry barely lived and hid for like season and a half to return in dramatical moment that he watched with you and you SCREAMED.

And he has a blast with your reactions <3

And so on, you bond over similiarities,

Over years you put many blood, sweat and tears into your friendship, and you're glued by hip. Kyle won't ever pick between you and Stan who is his closer friend, it would be even cruel to ask.

You two got along decently, good, not badly, but it always seemed you're more closer with Kyle than Stan.

You grew beside each other and your families became one, big family because of how close you've gotten between each other and made them grow closer. (Or not if your relation with them is bad)

No matter your family (or your own) relligion, you spend Hanukkah with Kyle and it's almost a norm of you being around.

Listen, Ike? Absolutely adores you. Kyle sometimes has a laugh your'e more of an older sibling than he is.

(Absolute bull, we all know Ike loves Kyle the most <3)

Kyle's family wanted to make little ride to nearest amusement park

Of course they suggested you go too! You're a part of the family already <3

You have the fun of your lives, all of you. Kyle's parents mostly chill around but you, Kyle and Ike are using all the activities possible while you can, stuffing yourselves with snacks and sweets.

Bad idea, if you'd ask me

You went to roller coaster and none of you paid no mind in that choice,

but Kyle's stomach DID pay a mind

Especially in a middle where he felt like throwing out

And hell, he did! But he took out his hat and puked int oit so noone got blessed with mix of dinner and snacks.

He was almost carried out of the roller coaster by you--

You decided to go to ferris wheel and call it after a day.

They were two-people cabin on the wheel, so Ike let you two have one while he went with some other random kid.

Ike is your biggest wingman, he did that on purpose of course. Little guy <3

When you're up high, alone, with Kyle, having option to look at all the view, you can't help but to look at little buildings under you, and then to take a peak at Kyle.

Oh boy, were you surprised when you met his gaze-

He blushed furiously and muttered "Sorry- Uh- did not mean to stare."

Of course - you did not mind, but that was SURPRISING.

You did not bother him about it though. Whatever he had in mind - nothing, or something, he will come around.

But you might've realised that you DO have feelings towards your childhood best friend. For sure.

You remember how I mentioned your shared liked series with Kyle, "Under Devil's grasp" ? Soo...

Imagine it was near end, and studio decided to make finale into movie, two and half hour long one.

It's a series you two follow since you were kids, OF COURSE you have to be there in the cinema.

You ride with Kyle to big city, with his freshly acquired driver license and shitty car of his.

You enjoy your WHOLE drive there, time spent in bigger city, it all was just amazing.

Series, even though it was mostly about vampires and werewolves, was called "Under Devil's grasp" and it's very questionable, for years there were just theories, yet the movie after all those years of content literally ended with said title as last words.

Y'all were crying already enough but it was such a HIT in the face

When you walked out of cinema you whipped your tears out of your eyes, so did Kyle, as you giggled and gushed about the ending of your beloved series.

Ride home was mixed, going from peaceful to chaotic, just atosphere was...magical. Lights of highway, music blasting loudly and Kyle jamming to it, while you take a glance with full adoration at him.

You sing a little, then you rest and sooner than later end up in South Park.

Kyle drives to your house first to drop you off, walks out of car to walk you to your door, and gazes at you.

"Thank you...for today. I had fun! I hope you did too."

"I did, you kidding me? Thanks for even offering. I...really appreciate it."

Kyle seems to hesitate, and then sighs deeply.

"...I love you."

" Yeah, good night to you too man- oh wait what the fuck-??"

"I...wanted to say so, and today's spent time with you made me realise I'd hate you to spend the day out of South Park with someone else. I'd hate for you to have late-night drives with somebody else, I'd hate to see you happy with somebody else because...well, I wish you stayed with me. Of course I mean- have fun with others, I just...I wish you'd keep your heart on my hands. It's fine if you'd prefer to stay friends, I hope it doesn't break our friendship. But I uh...I wanted to let you know."

...that was...a lot. Wow."

He thinks it's a rejection, but...

It's not, really

You grab his cheeks and kiss him before he can get into tangent of self-doubt.

Then smile at him,

and say:

"Information saved. Let's grab something to eat tommorow together too, alright, boyfriend?"

You smile and wave him away goodnight and closed your door.

...

"...boyfriend?"

He's so giddy pls <3

Other's reactions:

Ike:

FUCKING FINALLY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALO.

My little dude was waiting for the moment you hold hands and kiss each other already for TOO LONG

I mean, don't kiss too much in front of him he'd gag, it's still his older brother we're talking about

but at least Kyle pinning over you days are OVER.

He congratulates you and gives you gift cards of "congratulations on marriage!" drew with crayons and pencils

My man Ike is an anime fan, he made you badass gift card <3

Stan:

Not surprised but surprised at the same time.

He's second biggest fan, first being Ike

He learned the news from Kyle himself the same night you became a thing, later Ike hit him up because he was excited BSHSH

He hears Kyle out and congratulates him A LOT

Kenny:

He kind off knew? everyone kind off knew but he was sure you were already dating so...

news were shocking because

"Weren't you dating already? damn-"

he was sure you're married and expecting a kid/j

he doesn't have strong reaction because, as I said, it's not much of a news for him not going to lie

Cartman:

He always tried taking away whatever Kyle loved the most

So he's salty he failed this time

He always makes you both miserable, with slightest show of affection he is making big clown show out of it

Enough that just guys ask you to STOP with PDA because Cartman is being fucking annoying

He's just that salty single friend man for sure <3

Lemme be honest, it's not one of my best works, but I have (I am in a middle of...) 9 days streak of work straight, I am exhausted beyond human belief, but maybe because my ability to hold my ground is shitty, thanks depreshon--

So yes, It's not my best piece, but it was pretty much expected, so :>

I wanted to tag @bath1lda because of "kyle kyle" spam ask hehe- I hope you, and everyone else who read it, a nice "have a good read" :>

#hacker writes #headcanons #south park #south park x reader #kyle #kyle brovlofski #kyle broflovski x reader #south park kyle x reader #sp kyle #sp kyle x reader

[emofreakks]

So I’m something happened….I wanted to talk about it

On Snapchat an ex friend of 8 years put me in a a group

With another friend of hers remind you I meet this person first and was bit friends

But weren’t really close

And this is was she said

I'll just say this one thing because that's what I think. So Eva, because I don't like you that much is that I just feel uncomfortable being around you, I can't really explain it well, but here some jokes you say, things you sometimes talk about, and also just things you does it ever make me very uncomfortable to be around you, I'm fine with just being, friendly with you and everything else, but I don't want to be friends, but I am, just saying this again, will be nice to you and everything else, but that doesn't mean we're friends 🫃

And obviously I wanted answers due to the fact me and her have not talked in 2 years so like I find it weird how she tells me I make her uncomfortable when me and her are mostly never in the same room and that all I’m ever doing is writing poetry and drawing,playing guitar, doing my own thing doing what I’m always doing on a daily basis

I don’t even make jokes to her so what she said is fuckin bull all I’m ever joking around with is this one gay classmate of mine who’s the same room so like I don’t understand how I’m making her uncomfortable if it’s not directed at her if anything this gay classmates makes much more jokes then me I’m more silent if anything she has never hanged out with me before nor has she actually talked in school and outside of school to me so I don’t understand her one bit

But yah answers and the more I questioned her she just got frustrated with me started saying I’m starting drama when shes literally the only one acting up and told me that I’m 18 I behave like a 5 year old saying that no wonder no one likes you you emo cunt you make drama out of everything. Get your ugly emo hair and your emo looks tf out your supposed to be an adult

She doesn’t seem to have any reason to dislike me otherwise she would’ve gave me a good example as to why I make her uncomfortable which she didn’t wanna tell me so like I highly doubt she knows anything about what she’s talking about instead she just showed me how much of a low life she is

But yah she continued to say things that are offensive and things regarding my interest mainly due to how I look

I’m just stud by how insecure people behave like her who I don’t even talk to

And so I removed myself from the Snapchat feeling very overly sensitive at this point

And with this person who was suposed to be my friend She just laughted it off didnt defend me or Anything just team up with this awful chick who doesn’t know anything about me

I’m posting this due to the fact I see my tumblr as to something I can talk about my feelings and it’s like my diary

#emo #emo scene #2000s emo #emocore #emo kid #scene kid #emo model #emo girl #scene queen #scene girl

[red-racing-cars]

Trying to sneakily start a questions chain so we can all get to know each-other a bit better in the F1blr universe!

- Name (or what you want to be called on tumblr): Naca, but you can call me Anna too, I don't mind

- Where are you from? Hungary

- Where do you live? Hungary

- Any pets? No, but I want to get a cat when I get my own flat and name them Oscat

- Favorite driver(s) currently on the grid, and why? Charles Leclerc (my friend was gushing about f1, then I saw an edit of him plus lestappen edits were convincing too and here I am. Then I fell for his driving and personality,) Oscar Piastri (I realized how talented he is then how beautiful and amazing he is,) Fernando Alonso (war criminal pookie)

- Favorite driver(s) not currently on the grid and why? Sebastian Vettel (I loved his cunty red bull era and his suffering in ferrari, his voice makes me feel things 🫠,) Nico Rosberg (suffered, served cunt and left,) Kimi Räikkönen (unbothered king while managing to still serve cunt, last ferrari champion 🙂)

- Favorite romantic driver pairing(s) (e.g. Maxiel, Carlando) Lestappen, Landoscar and for occasional suffering, Brocedes <3

- Driver you’re most attracted to physically Charles Leclerc, Oscar Piastri and Fernando Alonso

- Driver whose personality you like best Oscar Piastri: unbothered, deadpan and cunty

- Favorite driver friendship(s) Hm, I haven't really thought about this but probably Alex & Geroge or George & Lando is an interesting one too

- Favorite team principal I don't really have one, maybe Andrea Stella

- Favorite team Ferrari (only because of Charles,) McLaren and sometimes Mercedes

- Least favorite team, if any Alpha Tauri because they continue to ignore Yuki, and, oh Alpine.

- Driver(s) you dislike, if any Pierre Gasly, Checo Perez, Nico Hülkemberg, Daniel Ricciardo, Carlos Sainz. I don't hate them tho, I'm unwilling to put that much energy into them

- If you’re a fic writer: if you could only write about one f1 pairing for the rest of your life who are you choosing? Lestappen, but do I count as a fic writer if I cannot finish one thing 😭

Thank you dear @twinkodium for this and sorry that I only reply now <3

#ask game #asks #lola 🧡 #formula 1

[happysadyoyo]

Weird question but how do you deal with it? – transandrophobia, exorsexism/enbyphobia, anti-shipping

It feels like the world at large is against our existence as soon as they find out we do exist… it’s exhausting in a whole new way

There (imo) is an intersection where enbyphobia/exorsexism also impacts binary trans men, on top of transandrophobia (which also impacts non-binary/genderqueer folks) – it’s depressing and feels like even tumblr as a safe space is crumbling away into an abyss

It’s not just yet impacting my mental health but also seeing how violent anti-shippers can get, seeing proof of anti-shippers doxxing people…

For me personally, I get off on it. Legit, if I'm careful and don't allow myself to get too angry about it, I end up living my life to spite them.

Spouse's mom gets judgemental about my career? Anti's don't like "problematic" smut? Cool, I'm going to write purely problematic erotica just to spite them both.

Don't want me talking about how men are hurt by feminism? Give me a bull horn because I'm going in.

Want to dox me? I live in a city with a 1 in 25 chance of becoming a victim of a violent crime. You can't scare me.

I don't really know how a more uh... sane? Not have a brain wired like mine? person would handle this. I know a lot of people need frequent breaks, and even I need them sometimes so I don't brood and make myself angrier. But I guess I spent so long Mulan'ng it that once I realized I didn't like pretending, I just sort of sprinted into "fuck all y'all I'm going to do what makes me happy and the anger you give me feeds me".

And I know having hobbies that are basically detached from the drama helps. I realize my writing is to spite people I dislike, but I also really enjoy it, and getting engagement with the thought sprites in my head is always a delight.

I think it also has to do with my bipolar because rn it's hard for me to feel anything but emptiness... but that's a whole other thing.

This wasn't a very helpful answer rip

[dgcatanisiri]

So... something kinda hit me abruptly and pushed me to feeling about ready to snap, so... Have a word vomit. Kinda feels like a greatest hits compilation of  my “another angry queer rant” tag, but I need to get it out, so...

I know I’ve been over plenty about how I don’t feel represented even when I have something with gay representation. How I’d give dozens of Dorians and Iron Bulls to get even one run of Inquisition that properly has my male Inquisitor romance Cullen. How when I look at Mass Effect - this franchise that I love - I can only see how much it hates me for being a gay man who dares to seek content for me. How godawful it is that Gil’s story, a story that is explicitly a story centered on a gay man and the difficulties he faces BECAUSE of being gay, was written by a straight person who ABSOLUTELY does not GET. IT. And how fandom as an entity sucks, because so often it feels like the attitude of the people in it comes across as telling me that my desire to be represented in my media somehow comes in second to celebrating the advances solely for women, that my needs as a queer MAN (the emphasis usually theirs) are less important, because I can still see myself AS A MAN in other characters throughout media.

But... That doesn’t change the fact that this is a very real, very tangible THING for me to grapple with. And sometimes it feels like no one ever, EVER talks about this.

I mean, my go-to example is that after Inquisition dropped, you could not say A WORD in criticism of Dorian without people jumping down your throat, chomping at the bit to call you a homophobe for it. No matter what reason - but ESPECIALLY if you thought he was “too stereotypical” - you got hit with that label. Even if you were gay yourself, it was just your “internalized homophobia” that made you dislike him, or even being biased against the people who genuinely do lean in to the stereotypes, don’t they deserve representation too?!

Well, yeah. It’s not like I was saying they don’t. But that it’s a stereotype means it’s often still in media, still often THERE. It’s not always good representation, but it’s something. Meanwhile for those of us who AREN’T? It just meant further exclusion from the narratives. A continuation of our invisibility.

And sure, one queer character cannot represent every queer person, one individual who embodies one letter of the alphabet soup cannot be everything to everyone under that individual label. But, again, it still means that I don’t get to see myself.

If media representation is a life preserver, then I’m getting pulled out to sea while the lifeguards are busy with people who are closer to them than I am. Which, you can call it triage, cast the widest net to hope to get the most people, but when you’re one of those who are not even able to grab on to the net and use it to pull yourself closer, it’s not helping. And, because they’re focused on those who have grabbed on to the net, your struggle continues to be ignored.

Worse, sometimes they aren’t factoring you in the net they’re throwing (yes, I’m aware my metaphor is getting increasingly strained, just work with me here) because they think you’re not in the trouble they think others are - if you can “pass” as cishet, if you can exist without actively fearing for your safety, if you are the kind of person who can walk down the street and not expect to be harassed because you “present” gay, then you’re not as in need as those people who can’t, who are going to be threatened for existing while visibly queer.

But the truth is that you’re still suffering. I’m not gonna get in to the whole oppression Olympics nature of it all, but there is an element that those of us who “pass” as being “straight-acting” (and, for the record, I think these terms are bogus and bullshit, but I’m using them for the sake of simplicity in getting my message across, because I’m stream of consciousnessing this post instead of going to bed so you’re getting babble and word vomit so that this isn’t playing on a loop as I try and sleep) suffer that... I’m not going to say that it makes it worse, but it does have this level of SOMETHING that is a unique pain that you aren’t going to find from the people who are visibly and noticeably queer at a glance - it’s not just isolation, because this is something that you end up not talking about because no one around you realizes that you are queer, but also this voice in the back of your mind that starts questioning “are you REALLY queer? Are you queer ENOUGH?”

And that’s why it hurts that little bit more, is that much more a twist of the knife, when I see these people who push the “joke” of like “why did they even HAVE male Shepard?” or “the only way to play is as Kassandra.” Because it does reinforce this idea - that there is this attitude of this thing, this character that I was seeing as representation doesn’t matter. So that I take strength in that character, well, that’s just me latching on to REPRESENTATION AS A MAN, and we’re not here to protect your fragile masculine ego.

When all I’m looking for is a queer man like I am.

And sometimes, I don’t even feel like the other queer men I can look to get it. Like, there was that time about a year ago that I looked up issues of queer men in video games, and the three videos I found all got an “...and NOPE!” reaction from me - the first argued in math about how “queer people are a small portion of the population, we can’t realistically expect to be represented equally,” even though we’re talking about FICTION, which is, by definition, NOT reality, the second was clearly a cishet who compared not being represented as a queer person to not being represented as a Swedish person, and then a third who first had a thumbnail on a video of “good and bad representation” and Kaidan was the example of bad (so a negative mark against this video to begin with, but I was desperate), only to lead with Dorian as a good example, which... *vague motion above and at the “dorian critical” tag* I staunchly disagree with this stance.

Like... I have to struggle to think of who my role models in being a queer man are. It’s not just who fits my story, but who do I look up to, who inspires me. And, admittedly, the luster for any personal hero seems to inevitable wear off at this point, I’m in my early thirties, and most of the media I consume will have characters who are my age or younger PERIOD, so my queer heroes would have to be people I’d consider either peers or even someone who I am older than...

But then, that’s kinda the thing about being queer period - we lost a generation to AIDS, and for those who followed that generation, we’ve had to live in this world where our heroes don’t exist like us, while trying to pave the way for those who come after us, and who can’t conceive of what it is like to age - as in “go from adulthood to middle age to elder,” not just the matter of growing up from childhood to adulthood - and so even as they’re the one who we want to give all of this to... It still means we suffer because no one is there to offer US that hand.

And yet, try to explain this to media creators, and you get ignored or even shut down. Like, I about a year ago, I directly replied to tweet from Patrick Weekes, explaining how Inquisition failed me, how all bi LIs actually HELP me feel more represented as a queer person than the mix of sexualities that BioWare on the whole has said that they intend to do (re: the difference of LIs in DA2 and Dragon Age Inquisition). It got no response, not even a like to indicate that it’d been read by them. I could form in my head the response I’d have inevitably gotten from David Gaider when he still had an active Tumblr of what would amount to, nicest, “we cannot please everyone, enough people were moved by Dorian’s story to make it worthwhile, sorry.” Given some of my cynicism, I can’t help but believe that it would also have come with a “sorry you feel that way.” Particularly considering some of the comments he’s made about Cullen and Kaidan as LIs, both of whom being characters I connect to more than others in their respective games...

And like... Gaider is a gay man. Weekes is nonbinary. But they are from that generation who view being able to exist openly as queer as a revolutionary statement, which... It’s a statement I want to make, sure, but it’s not a revolutionary one to me - “existence” is the bare minimum. To me, focusing on existence as a queer person is to say that the queer character must justify existing as queer in order to be a part of the narrative. But what is revolutionary to me is to give the queer person a story in the narrative that has NOTHING to do with their queerness.

Like... Fantasy world here, Inquisition drops with Cullen and Cassandra as same-sex exclusive LIs, while every other aspect of their stories are the same. Women can’t romance Cullen, Men can’t romance Cassandra. Other than that, we have Cullen with his addiction/redemption arc and Cassandra not just struggling with her faith but even getting the chance to be Divine. Yes, fandom would FLIP. THE FUCK. OUT. But here’s what it says - the things that these characters go through in the course of the game are not defined by their sexuality. Hell, with these characters specifically, you get characters with MASSIVE relevance to queer stories that AREN’T exclusive to being queer - addiction is a real issue in queer communities, given how many of our safe spaces are bars or clubs, places where alcohol (and thus alcohol abuse) is easily obtained, and, by extension, drugs as well. Meanwhile, there are SCORES of queer people who struggle with the question of faith in the wake of their queerness manifesting.

THAT is revolutionary. To take these stories that straight people get all the time, that certainly have meaning as queer stories for the queer audience... And yet, when they go to these (hypothetically) queer characters, it has that subtext without making the story ABOUT their queerness, while still making it clear that, in this version of things, they are queer - players couldn’t pretend that it’s only in some parallel universe that they are queer, they would only be attracted to the same sex PC. THAT is revolutionary.

Or, y’know, take it back beyond BioWare for a little bit here - all the characters I feel the most connection to emotionally in TV shows are straight. All these men who are my role models only ever get shown being involved with women. At most, they’ll get queerbaited as MAYBE being queer, if you just keep watching! Inevitably, of course, they are not queer by the end of the show - the closest to date is the debacle that is Supernatural.

Yeah, there’s representation for ya.

And then there are those who end up looking at what I see as thoroughly inadequate and... They’re happy. They praise it. They look at this thing that hurts me, that excludes me, that can, when I’m in the bad headspaces, even make me question myself... And they have found something they like with it.

Which, for the record, good for them, genuinely and sincerely, I really am glad that someone is getting something out of this, but... Well, see above: life preserver, isolation, “sorry you feel that way.” Everyone else is getting what they needed, but what about me? When does my representation get to appear? Why am I always being left, scrounging for the scraps of the scraps? Why does other peoples’ representation always seem to get shoved to the front of the line, leaving me languishing in the back.

That’s the real thing about all of those lines of “if you don’t like it, go make your own!” At this point, even if I did manage to get something in my to-write folder cleaned up and ready to go, in reality... How am I supposed to feel like anyone other than me WOULD proceed to read it? That the audience would exist? Because... no one seems to care about this audience. Hell, how would I get anyone to publish it if it is only going to appeal to me?

I feel on the margins of the margins, where no one really cares. Hell, even here in my own blog, I feel afraid of backlash - I’ve had the assholes show up in response to like little brief comments that are off-the-cuff rambles, not worded in a way that makes them a full, detailed accounting, and either take them as evidence that I, personally, represent all that is wrong with fandom at large, or that I am a target for their trolling. Because saying that “I find the jokes about male Shepard not mattering to be diminishing of me as a queer person, can we please stop this?” is somehow not just lesbophobic, but VIOLENTLY lesbophobic. Or that saying that I don’t care that bad things happen to a fictional species is somehow advocating for violence against actual women. Or even explicitly calling out BioWare for lovingly lingering the camera on Miranda’s ass is slutshaming her. And of course, there are the assholes who responded to me saying on the BioWare Twitter announcement post for the Legendary Edition that, if it didn’t have a full trilogy male Shepard/Kaidan romance, I wasn’t buying it, and proceeded to a) call me entitled for it (like, read a dictionary, the very fact that I have to call for this content that doesn’t exist in the game proper is the OPPOSITE of entitlement...), b) tell me that I “shouldn’t deny [myself] a great story just because it doesn’t have gay people in it” and c) just generally be homophobic. Even in rolling with it on the basis of “the trolls are gonna show up period if you make it clear that you care about something, especially if you are trying to get representation for some group that is in the minority... It gets exhausting. It can be harmful. It makes it clear that you’re not welcome, even when you’re supposedly united by the fact that you and these people supposedly love the same piece of media.

I mean, among those examples, I’ve given the statements that inspired those responses no tags other than my own organizational tags, but SOMEHOW they find me anyway, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I got accused of like being another White Gay™ with this post, that I simply want to center the conversation wholly on myself at the expense of all other intersections of queerness and other identities or something for saying all of this, even though this is, and it says so from the start, a vent post, which, by definition, is centered on myself because it’s about me and my experiences and emotions. *sigh*

Anyway...

And, y’know, when BioWare actively refuses to even ACKNOWLEDGE that the absence of a full trilogy M/M romance option is a bad thing, it just ends up saying that the trolls are actually the audience they’re willing to court. That Supernatural ending with a brothers only focus that doesn’t even allow Cas to be mentioned other than offhandedly while suppressing ANY kind of emotional fallout to his admission of love says that they don’t care about the queer people who at the very least the actor was trying to be respectful and representative of. That every piece of media that says that to have a queer person in it, their presence must be explained and justified is saying that there needs to be a REASON for queerness, a reason that is not “because people are queer, and queer people come in as many stripes as cishet people, and so media should reflect that spectrum just as much.”

Even when the numbers of queer characters in media goes up, it doesn’t really move the needle. And that’s not even getting to the difficulties when you are any mix-and-match combo under the queer umbrella, or any other identity that intersects to marginalize someone in our society. It just...

Y’know, it doesn’t feel like “it gets better.” Rather it just feels like being stuck in position, just with a changing backdrop. Sure, things look different by the end of the day, but that doesn’t change that you’re not getting anywhere.

#dg gets personal #another angry queer rant

[ama-darav]

☾ ★☆ ☠✿■♡♥ ☮♦☯▼∇♒☼ Solas

☾ - sleep headcanon…LOL YOU THINK SOLAS SLEEPS? He just fucking passes out on his couch and wanders the fade. Then wakes up sometime before the sun gets up pissed off because the spirit he was talking to ditched his ass for something more important.

★ - sad headcanon

This fucker right here is so pretentious that he’s never going to let himself be happy. Like. He will actively sabotage his own happiness for more edge. I am sorry, inquisitor.

☆ - happy headcanon

Honestly, a headcanon that makes me happy about Solas? That Iron Bull beats him at chess every time because Solas underestimates him. Then they start wagering on it and Solas will lose his pants, or his shirt. or his weird root amulet thingie one day.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

UH. Skip? As much as I want to punch Solas in the face? Just… nah son. He can choke on a root vegetable.

✿ - Sex headcanonPass. Or jokingly: He’s got a big ass cock.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanonUHHHHHHHH. Honestly? There’s not really much to say about his bedroom/quarters. They’re really impersonal, which is on purpose. I am sure that it just increases the angst.

♡ - romantic headcanonHonestly, I think it would have been funny for him to be bi? I know that a lot of people were disappointed that he was straight only… but. It’s nice to think that you can get your heart broken by an asshole regardless of gender? (And I only say it’s funny because of how heartbreaking it is for the Inquisitor to be with him. Honestly, it would have been equal suffering under the law.)

♥ - family headcanonif Solas were to ever have kids, which I pray not, he’d be the type of parent to be overly critical on accident. He just strikes me as the type who doesn’t pull any punches when he wants to be critical, and that might inflict on children? Honestly, though, Solas isn’t like. ‘dfdgkfg Family Material.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Uhhhh. I really wish that he could have met Zevran. I REALLY WANT TO SEE HOW quickly irritated and flustered Solas would be around an elf who has a quicker wit than Sera pitted against Solas’ bias.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Uhhh. I really don’t have anything here. Honestly, I think Solas would be interested in writing history papers and stuff if he wasn’t so… him, ya’know.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanonAs far as dislikes go, I have no headcanons. However, he can meet me in the courtyard to square up over some tea. I have some strong words and a book or two he should read on the history and benefits of tea if he’s going to lecture me on the fade.

▼ - childhood headcanonHe sprung up from the ground like a garden gnome.

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Uhhhh. I don’t think Solas is going to make it to old age, unfortunately. I think he’s either going to die tragically, kill himself, or get killed. Probably at the player’s choice which is unfortunate.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Do you think he knows all kinds of special egg recipes, figuring that his head looks like one?

☼ - appearance headcanon

I will begrudgingly admit that Solas puts a fair amount of time into his Hobo Chic. There are a couple of outfits he looks really nice in DAI though. If I don’t make them garish colors just to mock him later.

ൠ - random headcanon

Do you think they have to paint Solas’ head when the party is trying to sneak around, or that shine attracts bears and other creatures to their presence?

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

Free Space? I’ll close that by saying that Solas isn’t my favorite and that sorry that this wasn’t very elaborate. Also sorry this is approximately 5 years late?? I think that Tumblr at a lot of my asks over a long period of time and that I rediscovered them in my inbox a significant amount of time after the fact.

#my writing #dragon age #solas #ama tag

[fand0mfancies]

Came across this on Tumblr a few days ago, it amused me for a couple of hours or more, filling it in, while watching QI.

 Fandom Questions

 1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Star Trek: Voyager, I suppose at least for reading. Started writing with Stargate SG-1.

 2. What is your latest fandom?

I dip in and out of lots of fandoms on and off, the most recent ‘pick up’ is Ballam from Eastenders, I don’t watch soaps, but Robron and Ballam both appear a good bit on my tumblr, so I eventually gave in to checking them out via fic and youtube – thank god for youtube, lol! I still don’t watch soaps, but I watch those storylines!

 3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Gosh, that’s... actually no that’s really easy. Primeval. For anyone not familiar, it’s a ‘silly little dinosaur show’ produced in the UK. It had 4 short seasons, with a somewhat revolving main cast – although they managed to keep 3 of them through all 4 seasons – but the fandom was/is amazing. I made life long friends through the fandom and even though I don’t write much any more I still read some and still talk with those people.

 4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

I would say no. I can’t say every fandom has always been amazing – ship wars anyone! – but mostly fandom has been a very positive experience in my life.

 5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

How long have you got... in genuinely no particular order (basically as they came to me) Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek (TNG, DS9, Voy, Ent & Reboot Movies), Marvel, Kingsman, Person of Interest, Due South, Quantum Leap, Firefly, Buffy/Angel verse, Harry Potter, The Sentinel, Torchwood(/Doctor Who), Hawaii Five-0, Shadowhunters, Sherlock, Primeval, Emmerdale (Robron), NCIS, CSI (Vegas, NY & Miami), White Collar, Empire Records, Bull, Diagnosis Murder, MacGyver (the original), 1-800-Missing, CHAOS, Without a Trace, M*A*S*H, Charmed, Queer as Folk (US), Will & Grace, Bring it On, Nash Bridges, Magnificent 7 (TV series), House, Babylon 5 – I think I got them all... a few of those were one time only deals, but a lot of them have more (anywhere from 2-52 (or more still!) ranging from 100 word drabbles, to thousands of words – hey I’ve been writing fic for 21 years... you tend to amass a lot of fandoms...

 6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh geez, here we go, lol! Okay...

 Stargate SG-1: Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson

Stargate Atlantis: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Star Trek: Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Chakotay/Tom Paris, Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed, James Kirk/Spock – I don’t particularly have an ‘otp’ in TNG, the couple I’ve written were Picard/Data, I’ve also dabbled reading Data/Gordi)

Marvel: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Kingsman: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin

Person of Interest: Harold Finch/John Reese

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray K

Quantum Leap: Sam/Al

Firefly: Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Giles, Angel/Spike, Xander/Spike, Willow/Tara

Harry Potter: Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Hermione/Draco

The Sentinel: Jim/Blair

Torchwood: Jack/Ianto

Hawaii Five-O: Steve/Danno

Shadowhunters: Magnus/Alec

Sherlock: Sherlock/John, Mycroft/Lestrade

Primeval: Nick Cutter/Stephen Hart, James Lester/Hilary Becker Emmerdale: Robert Sugden/Aaron Dingle

NCIS: Gibbs/DiNozzo CSI: Nick Stokes/David Hodges, Mac/Danny, Horatio/Speed White Collar: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth

Empire Records: Joe/Lucas

Bull: Benny/Jason

Diagnosis Murder: Steve/Jesse

 I’ve left a few out where I don’t have particular OTPs

 7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Here we go again... lol!

 Stargate SG-1: Jack/Sam, I just... no. I’ve read a few where it’s a background or secondary pairing, but it always makes me wince a bit. I’ve read a few with Sam/Daniel as a secondary pairing that didn’t make me react that way and I’ve read Sam with other characters, but Jack/Sam just is a nope for me.

Stargate Atlantis: McKay/Keller – no, just no. that was horrible. She treated him like... awfully, trying to change him to suit her, just... no.

Marvel: Contentious, but Tony/Pepper, also Peter Parker/Tony Stark. Maybe because I saw the movies before I ever looked at the comics, but meh.

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray V – again, contentious, but honestly I think Ray V was kind of a shit friend to Fraser.

Firefly: Anything with Jayne. No really, I just can not stand the character. I spent most of the series wanting to punch him in the face and sometimes you get characters you love to hate, but I just hated him.

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Spike, Willow/Kennedy

Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Ron/Harry, Harry/Ginny... basically, Ron and Ginny should just be loveless hermits who live by themselves. Ok, no, that isn’t fair... but as much as Ron was Harry’s first friend, he was selfish and bitter and Ginny/Harry just... never sat right with me. Ron literally says she spent ‘all summer talking about’ Harry, when she’d met him for all of three seconds. She didn’t know him. It always felt like she fell more in love with the *idea* of Harry Potter, than Harry Potter himself.

Sherlock: Sherlock/Molly, he’d eat her for breakfast. Serious, she’d never survive him.

Primeval: Oliver Leek and anyway. Arg. Creepy little dude is creepy and evil.

NCIS: Ziva/DiNozzo – ugh, just no.

 Again, I’ve left out ones where I don’t have particular NoTPs

 8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Tumblr, god damned bitches posting gifs of pretty boys falling in love, roped me in!

 9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

I dabble in several fandoms at once... but if we go by ‘most recently picked up’ as ‘current’ we’re talking Ballum, which hey, it’s always fun to have an actual canon pairing be my OTP, that’s rare for me, lol.

 10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Well (so far) I haven’t written any Ballum. (I say so far, because I’m a realist, lol). I rarely read in fandoms and not end up writing in them at some point. Although I have probably dabbled in a few I’ve not written for, but if I read it with any sort of consistency, I mostly end up writing it. I am weak!

  Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

 11. Who is your current OTP?

Okay, so that list above, just basically go with that. While I do drop in and hour of fandoms and some I certainly read in more than others, I do tend to go back to fandoms... If we were talking about what I’m mostly focused on writing atm... Steve/Tony, Mycroft/Lestrade, Harry/Draco and Robron are ones I’m currently working on most.

 12. Who is your current OT3?

I’m not currently writing anything that’s OT3 with any real focus. I have a couple of Neal/Peter/Elizabeth WiPs that I will at some point finish, but they aren’t a big focus just now. I did recently read a fabulous Neal/Peter/Elizabeth fic that’s been on my tbr list for ages.

 13. Any NoTPs?

Just... see above, lol!

 14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Harry Hart/Merlin, those two are Bro’s until the end and I will fight you on this. Also, Eggsy/Roxy! OMG they are such a BroTP! And Tony/Pepper/Rhodey – I may no like Tony/Pepper as a pairing, but I love them as best friends and of course, our Rhodes, because again, I will fight you on this, they are awesome and Tony needs his best friends!

 15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I’m not sure there is. I suppose I’ve read a few fics for some random pairings over the years, but nothing that’s made me really ship-ship them. I like Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes, after seeing it as a secondary pairing in a Steve/Tony fic, but I’ve seen that pop up a few times since, so maybe it won’t stay obscure for long!

 16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Jack/Sam, Tony/Pepper, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Buffy/Spike – they all seem to be het pairings, oops. But I am mostly a slash fic reader/writer, so I suppose that’s not too surprising.

 17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Jack/Daniel from Stargate SG-1. I still love them. I still read them, although it has been a while since I’ve written them on their own (I have got some SG-1/SGA x-overs where they feature)

 18. What ship have you written the most about?

I’m genuinely not sure... without going and counting (and I’m not going any counting!) I’d guess Jack/Daniel, McKay/Sheppard, Jack/Ianto and Steve/Danno.

 19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

No, not that I can think off. I either like it or not. I do occasionally feel bad for not reading a fic if it’s an author I really like, but I don’t read that fandom or pairing, but nothing specific.

 20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Robron and Ballum, lol. I do not do soaps!

  Author Questions

 21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

 Stargate SG-1, Jack/Daniel, a story called The Dare, The Disaster, The Almost Happy Ending, And The Very Happy Ending – it was awful. Don’t go looking, lol!

 22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Don’t we all? No, I wouldn’t specifically say so. There are certainly fics, especially older ones, I wish I could have written better, but nothing I’d go, ugh I should never have done that.

 23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Uh... honestly that’s really hard. I... um... yeah, I don’t know, really. I wrote a nice little flower one in POI that I felt worked rather beautifully. The Language of Flowers. An I wrote an SGA fic for NaNo a few years ago, called A Different Life, but it’s not online, because I didn’t finish it yet and I knew I wasn’t going to finish it any time soon, so I didn’t feel it was fair to leave it up unfinished (there is a reason I don’t read WiP fics and I don’t post them either, because I know how much I hate unfinished WiPs) Edit: After writing this I reminded myself of a POI fic I wrote called Hours of Separation – It’s a Harold/John break up story that I always intended to write a sequel too where I ‘fixed’ them, but I just couldn’t do it. I broke them a little too well. But I really love it actually.

 24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

The afore mentioned A Different Life needs to be edited and finished, lol! Also a Primeval fic with the working title Crypt Keeper (don’t ask) that I worked myself into a bit of a corner on and I figure out how to fix it, but I haven’t done it yet, so it’s still needs fixing and finishing, lol!

 25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

I haven’t the foggiest.

 26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Sometimes, really easily, a quote, a line from the fic, a song title... other times it’s like pulling teeth, hence working titles on things like ‘crypt keeper’ which is a reference to one scene near the very start and has no actual hint of the plot, lol!

 27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Oh the titles. Summaries you can just copy a few lines from the fic if you are desperate, if you had to post ‘untitled mcshep fic #67’ people would get cranky, lol, hell I’d get cranky!

 28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Oh... I... huh. I mean who wouldn’t love fanart for their stories? Any of them honestly! But if I had to choose just one... I guess something in my Animal Instinct verse, which is Primeval (although I always intended to write other fandoms in the verse) where some people transform into animals, based on their ‘spirit animal’ and some art of the characters with their spirit animal form would be awesome.

 29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

Sometimes, look if you’ve read this far, you know I write in a lot of fandoms, lol. In some fandoms it’s easier than others to find beta readers. Also, sometimes if it’s just something short, I won’t bother. But I do try for my longer fics.

 30. What inspires you to write?

That old adage, if you want to read it, sometimes you just have to write it? Spite? Boredom? Honestly sometimes I just have ideas I have to get out of my brain and it’s write or go mad(der)

 31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

That it inspired them to write something.

 32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Sometimes, sometimes I find it distracting when writing because I end up singing along and forgetting what I’m writing, lol! I do sometimes get inspiration from songs, I guess mostly from the lyrics, but no particular band or genre – although I listen to a lot of country music!

 33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

Little from column a, little from column b... littler still from column c...

 34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

Around 60k, I think.

 35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I have. Primeval had/has a week drabble challenge, mostly when I’ve written drabbles it’s been for a challenge, with a specific prompt.

 36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Uh... I mean, my fandoms really span the genres, but I guess sci-fi or crime are probably my favourites.

 37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third mostly, I have occasionally written in first person, if it felt like the fic needed it.

 38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

Little from column a, little from column b... it depends on the fandom and the story. Sometimes you just need more characters, mostly they are minor roles, I don’t tend to write much established character/oc fic

 39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Ability to convince myself people will want to read it, lol! No actually to be honest, I love to know people read and like my stuff, but I gave up a long time ago on trying to ‘please’ people with what I write. I write what I want to read.

 40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Focus. The problem with 21 years of fandom history, is well... 21 years of fandom history. A lot of fandoms, a lot of pairings and as I say, I never really ‘leave’ a fandom, I just drop in and out and sometimes that means I’ll write on something consistently for weeks or months and then end up getting distracted by another fandom again and not touch it for weeks or months again. Hence, I don’t post WiP fics, because I know I’m easily distracted and don’t want anyone to suffer my lack of focus but me.

  Fanfiction Questions

 41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I don’t read WiP fics, so yeah... but 5 I’ve recently read in different fandoms that I’ve really enjoyed

 Turns Out, I Have a Rose Garden by betheflame (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark)

Lucky by china_shop (Neal Caffery/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke)

Colors by Quesarasara (Sherlock/John)

Betrayal by Blackghost7 (Gibbs/DiNozzo)

Matchmaker (Part 1 of the Marmalade Series) by HastaLux, Mottlemoth (Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade)

 42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

See now this is hard, because... ahh so many...

 FredBassett – Primeval author, her Stephen/Ryan series is epic and brilliant and endless

https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/pseuds/fredbassett

 Keira Marcos – I know other people will have said her, I don’t care. I love all her stuff, across all the fandoms she writes in

http://keiramarcos.com/

 theapplepielifestyle – her Steve/Tony is amazing. Hands down some of the best I’ve ever read. I will fight you on this.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle

 JillyJames – her Tony DiNozzo is a real life grown up... exactly as he should be considered given he’s a goddamn federal agent!

https://jillyjames.com/

 missbecky – I’ve read pretty much all her Steve/Tony and Harry/Eggsy and it’s awesome.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky

 Honestly, I could have listed so many more, but, I’m being good!

 43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Everyone. The thing is, fandom at it’s best is like crack, the more you get, the more you want. The writing, the gifs, the art... it feeds you and makes you want to make more of it, because more of it needs to exist and if that means you need to do it yourself, so be it!

 44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

ALL OF THEM!

 45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Oh hell no, not even, I can not. It took me an hour to narrow down 5 authors, I can not narrow down one fanfic!

 46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I mean, it depends on what they like... probably the Hour of Separation I mentioned above, if they like the fandom/pairing, or my Animal Instinct stuff.

 47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

Archive of our Own. I haven’t touched ff.net in *years* since they started getting super restrictive about what you could post. I do occasionally post stuff to tumblr, but mostly I now post to AO3. I did have my own site and I’ve yet to upload a lot of stuff to AO3 – one of these... months... that will be a project – but it’s amazing. Seriously, having been in fandom 20+ years, going from having to search all over a million different places and now it’s all in one place, where we’re honestly, spoiled and protected. The kids now have no idea how crazy impossible that once seemed.

 48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes, but not as often as I should. I love AO3s kudos button, so I can sort of say ‘hey I enjoyed this’ without having to comment, because I sort of hate leaving comments just going ‘hey I enjoyed this’ because I always feel like I should say more, like, oh I enjoyed this specific thing, which yes is an unnecessary hang-up, but there ya go.

 49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

Of course it’s nice to get comments, kudos, reblogs etc. I’m not as attached to them now as I was when I was younger, because I learned along the way that it was more important that I like what I’m writing than that other people do, but it’s still nice to know that something I’ve created is enjoyed.

 50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I went looking for Star Trek Voyager stuff online, pics etc, waaaaaaay back when! And I came across fanfiction entirely by accident... and I read some – het stuff mostly, then I started watching Stargate SG-1, went looking for fanfiction for that, but was not on board with Jack/Sam, found Jack/Daniel went ‘huh really? That’s weird’ read it... and yeah... 21 years later... lol!

 51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Ship Wars. No seriously, just don’t. Like, who the actual fuck cares. I like my ship, you like your ship. I don’t care if it’s canon or not. I don’t care if it’s popular or not. I don’t read my NoTPs, but I’d never dream of telling someone else not too. Yes I think they are terrible, bad, no good pairings, but that’s *my* opinion. Don’t try to change my mind and I won’t try to change yours. I avoid them like the actual plague. If someone starts that shit around me, I will shut it right down. You are a dick. Go to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.

#fandom life #fandom

[coffinated-beverage]

10, 15, 35!

10. Name a Dog!

Blue! She is my sweet pit bull that is absolutely a toad but I adore her. When I was waiting around in the mornings before I went to school she would sit at my feet every morning while I sat down with her. I haven’t seen her since Christmas when I went back home and with all this stuff going on right now. She was also the only dog between the two that I let in my room cause she would lay on the bed and relax with me.

15. What’s a question do you constantly get asked?

A question I get sometimes is why I joined wrestling since I definitely don’t give off the impression that I was a High School jock. I was varsity my Junior and Senior year and got the letterman to prove it. However the reason why I joined wrestling is because not only did I not have a choice in the matter (cause it was either a sport or 4 years of PE and fuck that) but original I was in tennis for two weeks. Then I hated the fact of running so I joined wrestling instead because it was very similar to Jujitsu (something I took before moving).

At first it was hard- as hard as going from No Sport to Sport anyone can get. Though as time went on- it got...rougher. Mentally and physically, and I really mean it. Wrestling is one of those sports where you have to deal with the fact someone accidentally punched you in the face or slammed you too hard- you still have to wrestle until you lose or win. Of course I started to hate it when my head coach started to pick on me for mixing things up or not understanding something correctly. Thankfully the teasing never went to full on punishments like running a stupid long distance. That only happened once and it was because I was panicking that I lost my phone outside.

So this question has now evolved to: Why did I stay in wrestling since I obviously grew to dislike it? After all I only needed to be in a sport for a year to get the credit. Well- I stayed cause of two reasons: Wrestling equipment is expensive and it made my dad proud. Wrestling was a very ‘bottom of the line’ funded sport at my high school and the girls program just started like three years before I was a freshman.

However despite all of this: I can proudly say my name is on the wall of a Kansas City stadium for First Place in 145 weight class for women.

35. what does home mean to you?

Now that is a fun question. Home to me means I can come home without feeling dread, but more rather I come home excited. However isn’t a physical place to me: not anymore. After I moved out- I realized I was still ‘home’. Home being the friends I have met along the way of my life.

Home can be multiple places: whether it is just me messaging back someone or going on for hours about the latest role play or story in my schemes. It can be staying the night at someone’s house or spending the day at a small shop with them. Home can be the smallest gifts they send you when you are feeling down: which can range from plushies to funny posts on tumblr.

In short? Home to me is the friends that I keep close and hold onto in my heart and the memories I share with them.

#I JUST FUCKING WENT OFF #Rip Ford- i am so sorry you get to see me being sappy #save tag #ask meme

[rk800isalive]

hey, if you follow me please read my rules. I don’t have them for shits and giggles. They are there for a reason!  But you know if you can’t find them for any damn reason even though I’ve posted them like so many damn places I’ll post them under read more. 

Hey there dear! Here is all you need to know about this rper/ask blog!

updated: Aug 7,2019

 About the blog:

-I’ve wrote this a few times now on the blog but I am Semi-Selective and Mutuals only. I have a lot of anxiety or rping with to many people. I do open up to more people in time. Again, I rp for fun and as a stress release I don’t want to start making rping stressful.

-If I’m following you and you follow back. How do you know it’s me?? I send geckos and danger noodles. I’m very shy when first interacting so I send geckos on anon. It’s a way for me to 1) judge your muse and how they handle things. 2) It makes me feel better as a starter to say hello.

-This blog is a nsfw/sfw blog.

-I don’t rp with minors. I’m literally over 21+ I don’t feel personally comfortable with minors interacting or rping with me. Nothing against ya, I’m just not comfy with it. Other reasons are because I rp a lot of adult/dark themes and I don’t feel comfy with minors being around that.

-I’ll pretty much rp anything except anything NSFW with minors or anything NSFW with minor muses.

-I will unfollow if I feel like pretty wiggy about your blog. By this I mean, let’s say you post a canon call. Then you make a post complaining about people liking said canon call. I mean this like you do this a lot. I’m old and I don’t care and it comes off as wiggy to me.

-I do not accept or acknowledge hate to anyone of any kind on my blog, thank you. If I see it on my blog I’m going to delete it. This means I do not condone sending or receiving hate of any kind to others or myself.

-I also will add a side note to this because I can’t believe I have to do this. If I don’t accept of acknowledge hate that also means I will not send hate. I have not and will never do such actions.

-Muse =/= Mun. This means the Mun and Muse do not always share the same feeling or would act the same way. We are two different people.

-I do not rp with blogs that do not have at least an about and/or a rules page. I feel much more comfortable seeing those. I don’t care if your blog is fancy or if you have icons. Just these two things at least is important to me.

-I write to have fun! Rping is a hobby of mine and really helps destress me. Enjoy what you do and have fun with it! Don’t worry about replying right away, I’m chill with waiting.

-I don’t own any of the icons or art you see me use unless I have stated otherwise.

-Highly Selective to OC’s. I explain why further down in my rules.

Dos and Don’ts rules:

-Don’t take control of my character please.

-Please no GodMods.

-Do not guilt trip me into responding to you. I will block you.

-Also please be aware if you reblog rp with thislovelylady/ alannasroleplaymemes, or really any of this person’s blogs I will unfollow and block you. This is non-negotiable.

-Do not follow me if you follow any blogs connected to sinsofexcalibur/ giseinohana or really any of their blogs. If you do follow or interact with said person I will unfollow and block you. Nothing against you, I really don’t want to get into why this person makes me uncomfortable just understand this is one of my rules. This too is non-negotiable

-Don’t guilt me for calling you senpai. I say it in an I think you’re cool and want to be friends. Again I’m old. I literally remember when yaoi paddles were a thing. Not that I ever had one, but man oh man, do I remember them.

-Don’t come at me with hating on ships. You can like or dislike what you want. I just don’t want to hear it.

-If I don’t answer your threads or starters either tumblr ate it or I haven’t had time to get to it.

-Feel free to remind me to reply. Life happens and I’m also just ADHD so my attention span is crap at times. Just don’t spam me about it.

-I do not start drama, I do not like getting into drama, and as such I ask you not to tag me in drama. I like living my life as drama free as possible.

-If you are a personal blog and you reblog my threads you are not apart of I will block you. It’s rude don’t do it.

-Do not reblog ooc posts outside of posts that can say you can reblog. Or are posts like followers forever. Just…. literally think about it. If it looks like you are unsure you can message me. Just use common sense.

-Do not ask me why I have not followed you yet. Like that’s some guilt trip bull. If I haven’t followed you yet, I either a) didn’t see the notification. b) Saw you followed checked out your blog and you don’t have a muse, or rule page and didn’t follow c) felt wiggy about your blog d) I just didn’t notice you followed and haven’t seen your blog yet.

-Just because I’m not following you doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me. I’m chill if you send anons.

-I always cut my posts. Please cut yours. It’s not too hard to do there are like a million tutorials showing how to do so. If you don’t trim your posts I’m most likely going to unfollow you. There really isn’t any excuse as to why you can’t trim your posts. On mobile there is a giant X you can press. This is true on desktop as well.

-Do not reblog my threads unless you are apart of them. If you do I will block you.

-I’m not an rp meme blog, if you are not a mutual please don’t reblog the memes. Reblog it from the sources.

Triggers:

-The only triggers I have is Sharks (Realistic Images or video of them) and IV Needles. I just ask that you please tag them. It’s cool if you forget it happens.  Mostly it’s the needle bit that is the worst trigger. I have other trigger they are just very rare and very hard to hit. I’ll let ya know if you ever hit them.

-If you need something tagged just let me know.

-I will tag things if you need it tagged. I’m also an idiot and forget sometimes. Just slap me with a friendly reminder message and I’ll tag it for ya. When I tag things I always forget to tag things with ‘tw’ at the end.  Example rather then writing ‘gore tw’ I write ‘gore’. Again, I do this mostly because I forget to put ‘tw’ at the end.

Shipping / writing:

-I’ll just slide this in here too. I ship chemistry, if I feel the two muses are getting along and you wanna ship them I’m down. I don’t ship with minors. If you wanna have a family bond connection with my muse, smack dat message button and hit me up. I’m down for chatting about it and plotting it out!

-I ship Connor/Hank personally but this doesn’t mean every Hank my muse meets will want to jump their bones. Again I can’t stress enough how I ship chemistry. I won’t ship with anyone right off the bat unless you talk to me ahead of time and want to plot something out.

-If your Hank only sees Connor as a son, I’m totally cool with that too. Again I do not ship anything unless you’ve messaged me before hand. I just like chemistry between muses first.

-I will ship hate pairings, crack pairings, and just because pairings.

-If you want to ship with my Connor, hit me up. Again this is normally after we’ve been rping for a while. I’m for the most part chill about shipping.

-I have my own NTP I’m chill with talking about them. I’m also over all a very chill but weenie of new peeps person. Again I’ve been around a while.

-If you have a ship you wanna try out with my Connor slap that message button and I’m more than happy to chat it out. We can come up with an idea. But again I prefer chemistry first over shipping.

-I love to plot things out. If you have an AU you would like to try out I’m totally open for it.

-If you see mistakes in my grammar and spelling I am sorry. I tend to type fast and sometimes aren’t able to catch all my mistakes. Please bare with me on that and I’ll most likely edit my posts. Or more commonly I’ll respond with like little to no sleep in me and don’t realize I messed up spelling or used the wrong words or grammar till like the next day or when I post my reply and reread it. Again I have insomnia… most days I’m up till like 3-4 am. Not even lying there. Some days I sleep for like… 14 hours. There is little to no in between.

-I can and will rp dark themes. I love rping angst or pretty much anything. That being said, just be aware of my fear of needles. I will rp sharks just because I can’t physically see them. Writing about that doesn’t bother me just anything to do with blood work just … yeah.

-I write rather large posts when I role play. Don’t feel intimidated because you don’t have to match my post size. It’s just my thing I do. I only ask that if I reply with let’s say a paragraph I wish for at least a paragraph back. This doesn’t apply if it’s a crack thread. Those are just up in the air and fun.

-If your muse is an OC, from a different fandom, or if he never met you in the game and your  beginning message/thread/starter is acting like he knows you right from the get go and he doesn’t I might not answer the ask or thread. Just because sometimes it makes me uncomfortable unless it just fits or you have messaged me ahead of time.

-I also love the idea of my Connor viewing any of the Rk series as family. If you don’t see it that way hit me up and I’m chill with it.

-If the post is long or nsfw based I put them under read more.

Just things I didn’t really know where else to put:

-I am SUPER shy online. In person I’m a loudmouth who isn’t afraid of anything. So it takes me a good long time to message people to rp.

-I am one whole weenie. If you get geckos/ danger noodles (snakes) in your anon box. -dabs- dat be me. Trying to get over being a weenie one gecko at a time. I don’t what it is I’m just very very shy online.

-I call new peeps who follow me senpais till I feel comfortable to be not nervous.

-If I follow you 99.9% I probably want to rp with you. I’m also a weenie so I’m probably intimidated to message you if you wanna thread or rp. I has the anxiety…

-I’ve been rping for 9+ years off tumblr, +6 on tumblr, and about +4 years on discord.

-I tend to update my blog a lot because I want my blog to be the best that it can be in my eyes. Your blog doesn’t have to be this detailed or fancy looking I just hold my blog to a stupid standard in my head.

-Mun is 21+ and pretty much only feels comfortable rping with 18+ muns.

-I have Major Depression, ADHD, PTSD, Anxiety, and DID. I do have a blog for my system they probably won’t interact on this blog.  Please be aware of this as there are days I just… struggle.

-I am always tired, if I’m not tired I’m hyper as fuck.

-I read the rules and about everyone’s blog I ever follow. I feel more comfortable and more likely to rp with you when I see the rules and about pages. I will read about the mun pages too. This allows me to get a peak into not only your muse but who you are.

-OCs I’m so sorry I’m a bit picky at times. If I can’t picture my muse interacting with them I sort of just… Don’t bother. It’s nothing against your oc. I promise you that. I am just a little picky after being burned a few times.

-I do not have a password system mostly because I would forget my own password. But if you are reading all this and got all the way here, thanks!!

-I’m just here to have fun. I want to rp as a way to help my own stress of life. If you like my Connor, great! Thank you for liking him! If you don’t, cool, you don’t have to. I like all sorts of ships. I don’t really care about gender mostly because I myself am pan but I just don’t care. If two characters mingle well and feelings start to arise I’m more likely to ship it. You don’t have to like the ship. It’s cool.

-I am 28. I’ve been rping for a stupid ass long time. I’ve seen shit in fandoms come and go. I don’t care about drama, I don’t want your drama, I’m just here to have some fun. Cool. That’s gonna come off as mean… Sorry.

-I have the right to follow and unfollow who I wish. I also have the right to rp with whom I wish and whom I don’t wish. ( Though if I am already following you, I’m 100% willing to rp with you.)

-It takes me a while to respond to things. Again I want to make this clear, I have a lot of mental illnesses that just make me struggle most of the time. I deal with heavy insomnia. Sometimes I’m lightning fast with threads other times it takes me a bit. Or tumblr just decided to fucking yeet my god damn drafts again. In which case hit me up on dms like if I haven’t gotten to the thread after like two weeks. Most likely tumblr fucking ate it.

If you finished reading and you would like to know more about the Mun and the muse here you are!

The mun just click here. My muse click here.

#ooc #The emerald speaks #I’m getting real tired of having mild anxiety/ptsd attack cause people don’t read them #gonna start hard core fucking blocking next #i don't like being like this and it's pissing me off

[tacogoats]

Followed someone for their really awesome art and then they started mass reblogging character hate and tagging it under the character’s name... 

NGL I keep seeing this in the dragon age fandom and it’s pissing me off. I ranted about it last week and it’s really annoying to see it some more. Like it’s one thing for it to be a joke but it’s another for it to be like, “This character is fucking awful and here’s 20 reasons why I hate their guts and everything about them and anyone who likes them is stupid” #(character name)

Like personally I reallllyyyy do not like Dragon Age 2 Anders; but I don’t shit on him at every post I see??? I’ve been reblogging art of him too because the art is gorgeous. ._. People are so nasty sometimes. Like I just wanna see cool art of x characters or just dragon age in general and instead I get a wall of text on why I’m apparently a horrible person for liking x character. Like OK. COOL. THX.

I am 110% aware each character has flaws but they are C H A R A C T E R S. I feel like if I met half (probably most honestly) of the Dragon Age characters IRL I’d run in the opposite direction immediately. Cullen included for a lot of reasons despite him being one of my favs and Iron Bull. Hell, I really dislike Sera too and she’d probably be one of the few that would be approachable! 

Anyway rant over just tired of logging on and seeing bullshitery (that’s totally normal of tumblr...........) 

I’m sick as fuck so I’m probably more irritable than usual (yay flu). Maybe I’ll go play bloodborne *-* 

#grumpy rant #big rant #scREAMS #im just so tired of it yall. #im having flashbacks @ the bloodborne tumblr drama a few weeks ago with gherman #and like #it probably happens daily in the DA fandom lmao #but like #why cant yall be nice to eachother and like #just enjoy the content for what it is #why you gotta be nasty to people who dont like the same chars as you and instead share in your mutual like of the game #instead of attacking them and trying to push them out =_= #so fuckin tired of it

[smnthchrstn]

I need to make sure, YOU DO ALL 99 QUESTIONS, 99 being "ask anything" so, question for 99 is... Christine or Samantha?

Quite possibly the scariest ask meme I’ve ever answered lmao 

how tall are you? I’m somewhere around 5′7 - 5′8 

what is your body type? It’s a body, it keeps me alive lol 

what is your favorite part about your body? My hair, usually.

is your current hair color your natural hair color? No

are you more outgoing or more shy? Shy

are you more femme or butch? I wanna say femme but that’s only because I have very long hair atm. 

are you tol or smol? Tol more than smol

wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt

weird habit? I nervously bruise myself as weird as that sounds. If I’m at work during a stressful call I’ll end up accidentally bruising my legs or arms by squeezing them so hard in a panic

favorite meme? Lately I’ve been saying stuff and putting this gif of Sarah Paulson from Bird Box right after whatever I’ve said. I’ll include it at the end or my formatting will get all messed up.

do you sing in the shower? Occasionally when I’m waiting the three minutes for my deep conditioner to deep condition (?) I’ll sing Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac or Gypsy. 

ever used a bow and arrow? No

are/were you a theatre kid? Nope

have you ever seen a broadway musical? Live? No

do you think musicals are cheesy? No way!

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I haven’t.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I’ve never played it physically, but I’ve played it online a couple times.

last movie you watched? Ghostbusters. I needed some Kate McKinnon :P

behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

favorite tv show? American Horror Story or Friends

meaning behind your url First and middle name and then roleplay

reason you joined tumblr Many years ago the lead singer of my favorite band at the time had it.

who’s your closest tumblr friend? I couldn’t pick just one person.

what’s something most people love that you hate? Seafood?

have you ever taken narcotics? No lol

have you had sex? Sex means a lot of things to a lot of different people and as far as what I consider sex to mean to me; no I have not.

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? One time the cops followed me home at sixteen because they thought my friend had beer in the car. We were really sims junkies and had several cans of Red Bull and Monster in her backseat. 

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? This is dumb, but last year I lied to my mom about a hickey that my partner at the time gave me. I had too many to hide and that was my fault lol spoiler alert: she didn’t believe my dumb ass.

describe your passion without mentioning it. Pen, paper, gay

describe your best friend. She is beautiful inside and out. I love her to death.

give us one thing about you that no one knows. Well, I mean two people know this but this past weekend I relapsed for the first time in God knows how long and that’s something I have a lot of shame over. Even though I know anyone reading this won’t find it shameful because we all or most of us deal with this kind of thing.

how do you feel right now? I’m emotional from the last question lol

what is your biggest fear? Abandonment 

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Mamma Mia, the ABBA version.

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Coming out! Literally saved my life.

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? All the time

something you fantasize about. I fantasize about a day that I can love someone and finally believe they aren’t going to walk away or make me feel that I’m not good enough.

last time you cried and why I cried on Saturday because I didn’t want to be alive anymore lmao this is dark you asked for it 🤷‍♀️

what was the last thing that made you laugh? The Meryl Streep meme lol

do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes. Different people at different times.

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? I really don’t know.

the last time you felt broken? I feel broken every day, haha. Today?

are you starting to realize anything? Starting? I don’t necessarily think so.

are you more dominant or more submissive? I can be either, depending on the other person and the situation. 

i’ll only date you if you love Sarah Paulson.

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I’ve liked people older, I’ve liked people younger. I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone my own age, though. I’m open to whatever.

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. G r e a t  d e t a i l

do you have any kinks? See the turn on question.

first thing you notice in a person? Eyes, hair and kindness/personality.

how can someone win your heart? Loyalty and common interests.

been rejected by a crush? Of course

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I never text, it’s probably like Kelly lmao. I’ll show her this, but no. I don’t think I’ve ever been romantically involved with a straight girl.

is trust a big issue for you? Yeppp

did you hang out with the person you like recently? I don’t hang out with anyone tbh

is confidence cute? I think if a girl knows she’s got it, then that’s great. Like own whatever you’re good at / if you’re cute af own that you’re cute af. Everyone’s cute af, girls are unbelievable 

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Hypothetically, if I liked a person and they kissed someone else deep down inside that would probably make something in my chest flinch, but I wouldn’t say anything.

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? I don’t think so, but I laugh pretty easily.

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? To be completely honest, when I came out I pretty much memorialized every girl I liked from 11 years old to 2017 within my coming out letter. Anybody I’ve liked from 2017 -  present knows that I liked them. I’m usually the “keep it in until I die” kind of person though. 

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I’ve done this several times and I’m sure I’ll never stop.

do you want to get married It scares me, but yeah.

worst thing you’ve ever done? I accidentally told a client “That’s great, bye!” when she told me her husband couldn’t hear properly to do a survey. (I was very sick and a little high on painkillers)

three things that turn you on. Cover your eyes kiddos. 1) Thigh kisses. 2) Lower stomach kisses. 3) Neck kisses / hickeys. Friiiick

who do you hate? Hate is a very strong word, I greatly dislike someone but that’s neither here nor there.

favorite term of endearment? Probably baby, but I like honey if I’m the one saying it

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Courteney Cox

intimidating girls or kind girls? Kind

what do you look for in a possible partner? Someone who is trustworthy, kind, sensitive and again as always can make a grilled cheese that doesn’t look like a wet sock

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? I’ve liked literally all of them, I’m just a giant lesbian

are you good at flirting? Nope lmao

who was the first person you came out to? I think it was @therainbowtink if we’re getting technical here but I’m sure @onenighttofuckupmylife had to be a close second once I really knew for sure.

do you have any friends who are wlw? All of them except two

is your crush wlw? All of my crushes have been, thankfully

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? No man has that power, come on now

write a short love poem to your crush/self? Dear self, you are a dumb ass. Love, Samantha.

do you fall in love easily? Ohohoho

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes. It varies, but I’ve got a couple.

are you good at hiding your feelings? I try, I have no idea if I’d ever make it as an actor. I act at work every day when I pretend to not have severe anxiety lol

are you a forgiving person? Yes

what is your “type?” I have no type, I’m just gay af

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? They’re both such rewarding places to be. Being able to give someone that comfort is one of life’s greatest gifts, but when you’re really really tired or really really sick you want nothing more than to curl up against your person and pass tf out against them. I couldn’t choose. 

tall girls or short girls? Both!

hugs or kisses? Oof. I don’t know, it depends on the situation. Both are fun. I’m kind of an awkward hugger I’d rather snuggle

twirl her around or get twirled? I’m too old both of those make me want to throw up haha. 

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Honestly they both fuck me up, but I like giving tummy kisses better than giving thigh kisses.

hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck always

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? These are both very rewarding who wouldn’t choose both 

making out or soft kisses? Soft, but sometimes you just need to make out 🤷‍♀️

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Both!

how confident are you in your sexuality? 110%

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Butterflies in the stomach 110%

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? Do you mean every single time I’ve liked someone? I’m reasonably sure every girl I’ve ever liked up until present know that I liked them.

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? This question is tricky. I was 10 when I had my first crush on a girl. 17 when it happened again, but didn’t acknowledge that I had one until 20.

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? I’ve done a thousand embarrassing thins.

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Foxxay and no because Ryan Murphy is a coward.

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? When I came out my grandma told me “we have no reason to discuss your sex life” and that not only aggravated me, but hurt. Alternatively, my aunt told me that I like girls because my dad wasn’t around for a chunk of my life and that hurt me I think more than aggravated me, although it did that too because it’s never been any of her business.

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? Have you seen Sarah Paulson? Every single day. Every. day.

what is love to you? Love is when you care about someone and their well-being. We love our pets, we love our family, we love our friends, we love artists and actors and musicians. We love ourselves. Love comes in many forms. 

ask me anything. Call me whatever you want (just not Sam lol)

A straight couple: shows PDA in public

Me:

#asks #personal tag. #thank you this made me insanely emotional #there's some pg13 themes under the cut #self harm tw #sorry i just don't want anyone to feel triggered by what i've said #alurous

[maripr]

So. Your favourite Dragon Age character(s) and ships! And why you like them (if you want). :D

Thank you! /o/This may be long… or not. Depending on my language skills at the moment (it’s 1AM here tho I don’t really wanna go to bed)Let me preface this by saying: I love everyone. There’s probably no companion I truly dislike, even if I have some problems with a few of them (like Alistair. Sorry, Alistair)Anyway, in no particular order:The entire cast of Dragon Age 2. I’m serious. This game grew immensely on me and, though I may still not call it my favorite of the saga (I would say Origins is), it certainly has my favorite story and characters. I don’t know wheter to include Hawke or not, cause they can be characterized however the player wants, but as an archetipe? I fucking love Hawke. Because they embody the tragic Hero of ancient Greece. They’re destined to fail, no matter what they do, because Fate it’s a force not even Gods can’t oppose.Ahem, sorry, my inner classicist geek is getting over me. But, all in all, DA2 has the plot of a greek tragedy.Anyway, back on characters, I would say I love Fenris the most, not only out of DA2 but out of the whole franchise. Something about his story resonated deeply with me and I love his possible recovery, it’s a powerful tale of a man, who was broken in all the ways possible, finding a new place in life and also people to connect with (my personal fav character development for him is him fighting alongside Hawke to defend mages, but I’m biased because the mage ending is my favorite).I repeat I really love everyone in this game, but I should also name Merrill and Anders. Merrill because I find her to be extremely strong despite what everyone (even the fandom, sometimes, thinks of her) and honestly, the fact that she keeps wanting the best for the people who actively antagonize her (Fenris, Anders, I’m looking at you guys) is the kind of ideal I aspire to, in terms of spirituality but also practical life (because grudges only make me feel like shit, lol).And, after some details about blood magic (which I’m an apologist of, because that thing saved my party numerous times in DAO, lmao) and Eluvians in Inquisition, I love the irony that… well, it’s actually debatable on who you ask, but I really think Merrill was right about everything, lol.So I wanna see her back in DA4, so she can see that Eluvians actually work and maybe flip off everyone who ever thought of her like an irresponsible child (she would never flip someone off, because she’s too much of a cutie for that).Now, Anders. Effing Anders. I actually despides him in Awakening, thinking he was only a watered down clone of Alistair, and I was neutral on him in DA2. But then he made the Chantry explode. An action I actually condemn.But that action and his whole reasoning behind it made me fall in love with him because… damn, what a fucking masterpiece of tragic (and he too may be considered tragic as Greek tragedy Tragic now that I think of it) character he is.I’m not keen on the “Anders did nothing wrong” interpretation a big part of the fandom has of him, and I even reblogs some critical meta on him from time to time. But I truly find him grandiose as a character, in a “God, what a beautiful failure of a human being he is” kind on way (no offense to his fans).I just wish his rival romance was better written, orz.Moving on the other games.From Origins, I love Zevran the most. Second fav in the saga. What resonated with him is similar to what made me fall for Fenris, I guess I’m big on Former Slave Discovers Freedom (you’ll also see this with my third fave).Zevran also has this thing of hiding his feelings under a smiley façade that... uugh i really love.From Origins, I also Love Leliana, but I actually think I love her more in Inquisition, because I adore her as the scarred spymaster.Loghain is also a big fav of mine. Guess I love assholes who really believe, in their own fucked up way, they’re doing the right thing (for the record, I dont’ condemn him on his decision of leaving the battle at Ostagar. I am, however, really not ok with him selling elves as slaves).And then there’s Sten, the original husbando. I was so disappotinted when I learned I could not romance him, lmao.From Inquisition, the two that get me the most are Iron Bull and Solas.Iron Bull, I would say, is the third out of my absolute favorites, but Solas at this point may come right after him.Iron Bull was actually the first thing I knew about Dragon Age, so I’ve always been fond of him, lol. Then playing and romancing him made me fall hard. You know, Former Slave, and also a big softie and very inteligent and with hidden depths. I’m so interested in his background as a spy. You usually imagine spies as being small people that don’t realy look interestin, and here’s a giant, bombastic man with a huge pair of horns and an eyepatch. I love it.Solas. Here’s another Tragic character, and another asshole who actually thinks he’s doing the right thing. Bonus points for fixing a huge mistake by making an even bigger mistake. You go, Solas.And also, I’m in love with the fact he’s basically Loki. Love the trickster archetype. Super interesting.Now, this actually got super long. And tumblr is being an idiot and won’t let me do a read more. Apologies to you guys’ dashes. I’ll try to be brief with the ships.So, before Dragon Age, I wasn’t big on OC/Canon characters ships, but DA being a fantasy dating sim, they are a big part of what I ship now. For each OC/Canon Character, I have headcanons that may not fit with the vision some other fan has of that particulas ship, and that’s super interesting to me, I love reading different interpretations. But my headcanons are for another post. Maybe.Anyway, my favorite ships with OCs areZevran/Warden, Leliana/Warden, Loghain/Warden (unromanceable characters never bothered me anyway), Anders/rival!Hawke (I actually found the actual rivalmance a bit underwhelming in terms of writing, so my headcanons about are different), Fenris/friend!Hawke (bonus if Hawke’s a mage, because, again, I’m biased), Merrill/Hawke, Isabela/Hawke, Sebastian/Male!Hawke (also completely based on headcanons), Iron Bull/Inquisitor (bonus if Adaar but also Cadash), Solas/Lavellan (because I’m cliché) and Dorian/Inquisitor.

For NPC/NPC ships my favorite at the moment is Merrill/Fenris and I’m so alone in this, lmao. Everyone out there shipping fenders, which I can’t see at all (no offense) and here I am in my small boat, thinking that Fenris and Merrill are actually somewhat similar and if the huge, HUGE, wall of bloodmagic being the highest on Fenris’ list of triggers for very obious and very reasonable reasons, somehow becomes less evident, Merrill is the one mage outside of mage!Hawke who Fenris could actually trust (y’know, Merrill never once called him a beast - like Anders did). I want to write all the tings but nobody to tell *sob*.Also, Fenris/Isabela. Also, Merrill/Isabela. Also Fenris/Isabela/Merrill. Also, the three of them are my actual “canon” polyship with my main Hawke.Sebastian/Anders I like because of the twisted, and badwrong potential. So is Meredith/Orsino.Cassandra/Varric is another favorite, because I adore how their relationship develops and they would be absolutely the cutest.Then there’s Morrigan/Alistais as sitcom enemies.And last but not least, Krem/Cole. With potential OT3 with Maryden. Phew, I think it’s all of them. Thanks again for asking.

#einemelodieimwind #ask #long post #really fucking long post #ramblings

[rana-capito]

THE ALL(man brothers band) OF THEM

one hundred and thirty-four! all right!1: Name Emma2: Age183: 3 Fearsmirrors in the dark, road rage, very big frogs4: 3 things I lovevery big frogs, glitter, my special roll 😘5: 4 turns onvampires, remember by 9muses, alex in fancy clothes, alex driving6: 4 turns offfruits, when someone calls my tongue an alaskan bull worm, accidentally thinking about pressing responsibilities, awkward word choice7: My best friendclarissa 😛8: Sexual orientationi’m straight obviously 9: My best first datetbh both of the two First Dates i’ve been on were iconic and great j don’t really feel like choosing between them10: How tall am I5'7"11: What do I misssarah…off at spanish campus in vermont 😩12: What time were I bornsometime around 5-6 pm13: Favorite colorgreen! or blue! whatever it is it should be pretty bright and saturated14: Do I have a crushi mean not a crush exactly 😛15: Favorite quote“mr. pneumatics” -alex16: Favorite placei’m gonna say this extremely cool and interesting beach that i biked to during spring break that had like a very flat and huge sandy tide area and also other cool rock formations and also snails and stuff17: Favorite foodumm. this is hard lol i just keep thinking of restaurants..there’s a specific burrito i’ve gotten every time i’ve been to raging burrito that i think is extremely good i’ll go with that18: Do I use sarcasmyeah who doesn’t 19: What am I listening to right nowi’m in the middle of a thirteen-minute-long youtube compilation of that busted song from phineas and ferb in different languages lol20: First thing I notice in new personit…probably depends on the features of that person?21: Shoe sizelike 8.5 womens22: Eye colorbrown23: Hair colorgingerish24: Favorite style of clothingcargo shorts25: Ever done a prank call?do you really think i could handle that27: Meaning behind my URLthis one night everyone went on some homestuck rp site and there were like a kersquillion jades but we had like been in there first so i was the alpha one, and then alphajade was already taken so i really made it a homestuck url through and through 28: Favorite movieidk movies don’t really have a huge impact on me29: Favorite songcurrently remember by 9muses30: Favorite bandmamamoo or bts…i don’t feel like choosing31: How I feel right nowa little tired32: Someone I lovemy..fermented soybean33: My current relationship statusVery Good34: My relationship with my parentsgood 👍🏻35: Favorite holidayi think halloween has the best activity options 36: Tattoos and piercing i have1 piercing per earlobe 37: Tattoos and piercing i wantmr. nichols’s exact arm hexagons38: The reason I joined Tumblri wanted to post fanart on berligelin too39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?no lmao40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?i get streks41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?yes lol it was julia42: When did I last hold hands?i feel like we probably didn’t on the way back to julia’s house but i can’t really remember…but it was either that or while we were at the restaurant 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?i can squash it into like thirteen minutes if i don’t have to be especially polished44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?non45: Where am I right now?in my bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?that seems like…a College experience..my mental image is of ben47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?reasonable unless i am home alone48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?yes i live at home with my parents49: Am I excited for anything?college biology50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?i probably Could tell ben a lot of things but i don’t 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?fairly often it’s a common reaction i have to being uncomfortable 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Some Time tonight53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?um that would probably be bad? maybe we’re having a foursome or something though idk54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?not that i’m aware of55: What is something I disliked about today?Driving56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?let’s say..moonbyul57: What do I think about most?My Self58: What’s my strangest talent?i’m very good at finding frogs once my mother figures out their general location59: Do I have any strange phobias?if we’re counting the fruit thing yes60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind i guess?61: What was the last lie I told?when i answered question 862: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?i guess video chatting 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ehh and definitely in some sense64: Do I believe in magic?not really 65: Do I believe in luck?..yeah? 66: What’s the weather like right now?post-rain67: What was the last book I’ve read?last book i finished was deaths end, most recent book i have read part of is middlesex68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?sometimes69: Do I have any nicknames?no..i guess sarah calls me Em 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?the time i smashed my finger with a hammer was pretty impressive to me71: Do I spend money or save it?i don’t really have money to save72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?yeas73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?yes my dead vibrator under the bed74: Favorite animal?i’ll say guinea pigs tonight 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?probably watching nail polish tutorial videos or something 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?i don’t think i’ve really ever considered this77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?oh..this totally random thing by ailee that i stole from julia’s itunes…scent of a woman or something? i designated it my Happy Song in ninth grade and i still feel thay way about it78: How can you win my heart?be..a nerd with musical talent79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?idc as long as the death year is past 2100…i’d really like to achieve 3 centuries80: What is my favorite word?i don’t really have a Favorite but i Like the word sanguine81: My top 5 blogs on tumblri can’t answer this in public they’re all like random personal blogs i follow it would be too embarrassing 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?something foolish that is too much pressure83: Do I have any relatives in jail?not that i’m aware if84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?shapeshifting!85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?clearly number 8186: What is my current desktop picture?a boring blue default one, i should change that87: Had sex?ya88: Bought condoms?no if i needed condoms i could get them from roshan for free89: Gotten pregnant?non90: Failed a class?non91: Kissed a boy?non92: Kissed a girl?ya93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?hmm yes i believe so94: Had job?no, yikes95: Left the house without my wallet?ever? yes96: Bullied someone on the internet?nooo…one time in fourth grade i sent an email to claire when i was mad at her and my mother had a Talk with me about how everything you say on the internet has a record97: Had sex in public?no98: Played on a sports team?i was on swim team when i was like twelve99: Smoked weed?no..100: Did drugs?One Time i’m so cool101: Smoked cigarettes?no102: Drank alcohol?yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?i abandoned my morals to consume tasty meat104: Been overweight?no105: Been underweight?no106: Been to a wedding?several 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?certainly 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?that’s probably happened 109: Been outside my home country?several times110: Gotten my heart broken?yeah lol111: Been to a professional sports game?a few times112: Broken a bone?no113: Cut myself?hmmm114: Been to prom?no115: Been in airplane?many116: Fly by helicopter?i have it was cool117: What concerts have I been to?just one direction. that’s it118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?oh, a few119: Learned another language?i spent like eleven years of my life studying spanish but i really don’t think i could claim to have learned it120: Wore make up?yes121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?yes122: Had oral sex?yes123: Dyed my hair?mm throwback to those really cute months when i had a half green half orange mullet124: Voted in a presidential election?that has been impossible for me125: Rode in an ambulance?non126: Had a surgery?does wisdom tooth removal count? that’s about it127: Met someone famous?i met bill clinton when i was very small but i don’t really remember it128: Stalked someone on a social network?not Stalked but i have read a lot of nichols’s facebook posts129: Peed outside?yes..130: Been fishing?all my cousins and i used to fish with my grandpa at the lake it was a fun shared experience 131: Helped with charity?yes, although regrettably not in an easily documentable way during high school132: Been rejected by a crush?that time i asked noah to the Fifth Grade Dance133: Broken a mirror?not in my memory134: What do I want for birthday?idk fun socks or something

#i #t #long post

[7goodangel]

Hey, so why can't people do sin with pj. Not to be rude. Just curious

*sighs*

I understand of not being rude - but yeah I have answered this so many times on my blog and I keep pointing to my FAQ page right here.

I’ll copy the part focused on ‘sin’ and ‘nsfw’ to a read more on this post for those who cannot access the page for whatever reason, but TL;DR of it is two things.

One is that I want ‘7goodangel’ to be more of a family friendly name and if I get credit for a character that is within a sin story or picture, then does ‘7goodangel’ look family friendly anymore? No. It wouldn’t since it would be on a piece of sin writing or art. 

Second - I am super uncomfortable with seeing or even KNOWING that my characters are in sin art or fanfics online in public. I know I cannot control everyone since it is the ‘internet’ but I’m gonna try my dang hardest to not have any of that. 

Like seriously - my family knows my characters. And I do not want any little kid looking for PJ and finding sin. Just... no. That is not my focus on the character. At all.

It just kinda ticks me off that people kinda forget about respect and the other pillars of character at the moment they get an internet connection. So this whole thing might be sounding salty and I apologize for the tone but not the content. 

Just - respect the artists wishes - and for those wondering - PFF heck no I am not gonna let some little kids or people who disrespect artists get me to back out of being online. I will not stop doing what I am doing on here. 

(topic continued and faq points are under read more)

What I would do however is that if it does get to a point - I will not hesitate to pull the plug on PJ entirely. I can just hand his story in Mediplane to another character, move PJ to a personal character not online anymore (for friend rps and such), and if anyone asks me about it - I would act like PJ never existed. Oh, and would be so much harder on those who would still use him since he is in my batch of copyright drawings and designs. I am leniant now due to how I know how certain sites operate - but again. If to that point where I am just done with the bull and the disrespect - I will do this. 

I mean... I don’t want to since PJ is my first ever character fully fleshed out to the point he is... but... idk... doesn’t seem like people are respecting in areas. 

Heard that there are writers in wattpad doing sin with PJ, heard people in Amino and other spots doing sinful RPs (how are you doing those in Amino? that is a PG-13 app that is not allowed on there). There may be a point where I’ll just fall numb with it - have to explain to my family that I couldn’t stop that stuff... which then heh... man I know I would be judged and criticized, getting “I told you so - you shouldn’t have put your ideas online for all to see” lectures. 

So yeah... if you have access to other sites and see this happen? Direct them to either this post or the FAQ link above. I thank everyone who is so kind to go with my wishes with my characters.

And to those who know about this and just ignore it? Shame.

FAQ (Parts on NSFW)

Q: Can I write/draw NSFW of [character]?

A: This is where I like to draw the line. I know I cannot police everyone and some will slip out, but I would rather not see any NSFW of any of my characters on this website or any website. My characters are very personal to me… and I just feel very awkward and horrible when I see or imagine one of my characters doing some of those actions.

But here I will try my best to say what is allowed and what isn’t allowed:Allowed:

Jokes about NSFW topics or hinting to NSFW stuff.

Leading up to the action, but then fading to black (not actually showing it)

Not allowed:

The actual action of NSFW stuff.

If the ’d’ is glowing/showing. (like heat)

Just do not want to see any of my characters do any of that stuff. But sometimes joking about it in a conversation can work. Touching, kissing, biting, hugging, cuddling, laying in the same bed - that stuff is ok. But when the actual act is happening - please - don’t show that.  (Just note that with Paper Jam, he can really not do that. his body is unable to do that function.)

If you are wondering if what you are going to draw falls under the NSFW category for me, PLEASE do not hesitate to message me! I might say no, but then you would at least know for sure if you could do it or not. You can still draw that stuff in private, I am not stopping you there - just wanted to not see that stuff on the Internet.

Oh! I know that sometimes violence is included in the NSFW topic. GENERIC violence is ok since because of fighting and battles and etc that some of my characters do. So that’s ok! Other stuff like vore and rape will NEVER be tolerated.

Q: Where do you draw the line with NSFW in RPs?

A: I draw the like at the point where most people go to a ‘Read More’. A good example of this is how askinfresh does that. And that doesn’t mean that moving to a read more is okay then - Like the NSFW question above, I do NOT want to see any PUBLIC RPs that are that type of NSFW. Hinting up to the act is ok but once the sections are exposed is where I hope that people would stop with RPS - do a fade to black and return to them after the fact.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE. I really do not care if you like to sin and you are underage - that can get you into a lot of trouble. THAT is for YOUR safety. Just please - for any RPs or art or writing, if you are underage in your country - don’t post it. Don’t make it public.

Little note about NSFW stuff:

Now note with the NSFW stuff I point out PUBLICLY. That means that I cannot stop you from writing or drawing it in your own home or wherever you draw it privately. It becomes ‘public’, in my eyes, when someone can find it on the internet. If a kid could get to that picture or story eventually by looking through tags or searching, then I get uncomfortable. I just really want to create an environment that is family friendly. My own family knows what I do online due to me telling them about it - and I do not want to have the thought of them looking up stuff and finding NSFW of my character. Knowing that families and children could find that stuff just scares me and makes me even more uncomfortable than my own feelings about NSFW stuff (which is disliking it). I just tend to worry a lot… and I just hope that people can respect my opinion on it. I am not limiting everyone to drawing other characters - just my own. There are plenty of other creators that are more loose with their characters. Just - I do not want to get to the point of leaving Tumblr due to people not respecting other artists. It is really uncomfortable for some people and asking artists and writers goes A LONG way.

#Anonymous

[sea-room]

1-154

Bull1.    Full name Bennett ****** *******

2.    Zodiac sign Umm, Libra?

3.    3 Fears My mind, failing the people I care about, things not getting better

4.    3 things I love My cat, guns, America

5.    4 turns ons C’mere and find out

6.    4 turns offs Poor hygiene, being boring, not being able to count

7.    My best friend I’ve got a few :)

8.    Sexual orientation Ammosexual

9.    My best first date Probably seeing Thor?

10.  How tall am I 5′10 or so

11.  What do I miss
 My sanity

12.  What time were I born
 about 9pm

13.  Favorite Color  Red?

14.  Do I have a crush
 Fuck man, idk

15.  Favorite quote
 sea-room.tumblr.com/tagged/quote

16.  Favorite place
 Warren Island State Park

17.  Favorite food
 Right now? Chimichangas

18.  Do I use sarcasm
  Nah, never.

19.  What am I listening to right now
 Bullet for my Valentine

20.  First thing I notice in new person
 How they present themselves

21.  Shoe size
 10.5

22.  Eye color Hazel

23.  Hair color Brown

24.  Favorite style of clothing
 Functional

25.  Ever done a prank call?
 To friends, yes.

26.  What color of underwear I’m wearing now? Plaid


27.  Meaning behind my URL
 Space out at sea to maneuver

28.  Favorite movie
 The Princess Bride

29.  Favorite song
 Way too goddamn many, but right now Happy Song

30.  Favorite band
 Right now 5FDP

31.  How I feel right now
 Rough.

32.  Someone I love
 My family

33.  My current relationship status
 What relationship?

34.  My relationship with my parents
 Eh, alright

35.  Favorite holiday
 Christmas

36.  Tattoos and piercings?
 None

37.  Tattoos and piercing i want
 Turks head around my upper arm

38.  The reason I joined Tumblr
 A few friends from HS told me I should

39.  Do I and my last ex hate each other?
 lmao

40.  Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
 Sometimes

41.  Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
 I don’t know who you last texted.  But the last person I texted?  No.

42.  When did I last hold hands?
 It’s been at least a year

43.  How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
 half hour?

44.  Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?
 No.

45.  Where am I right now?
 My room

46.  If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
 Me. 

47.  Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
 Loud

48.  Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
 No.

49.  Am I excited for anything?
 In This Moment with @sirens-and-stethoscopes, Avenged Sevenfold with @takingbackmyfirstamendmentrights

50.  Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everythingto?
 Yes.

51.  How often do I wear a fake smile?
  80% of the time

52.  When was the last time I hugged someone?
 Yesterday

53.  What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone elseright in front of me?
 I honestly don’t give a fuck.  I don’t even talk to her anymore.

54.  Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
 Oh sure, plenty.

55.  What is something I disliked about today?
 Waking up and everything following.

56.  If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
 I really don’t know.

57.  What do I think about most?
 How to unfuck my life.

58.  What’s my strangest talent?
 Talking myself into shitty moods

59.  Do I have any strange phobias?
 None.

60.  Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

61.  What was the last lie I told?
 “I’m ok”

62.  Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
 Phone

63.  Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
 Probs not

64.  Do I believe in magic? Nah

65.  Do I believe in luck?
 No

66.  What’s the weather like right now?
 Too goddamn warm for February

67.  What was the last book I’ve read?
 It’s been too long

68.  Do I like the smell of gasoline?
 Somewhat, but asphalt is better.

69.  Do I have any nicknames?
 Ben Franklin, Smudge

70.  What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
 Nothing too bad really.

71.  Do I spend money or save it?
 Save

72.  Can I touch my nose with a tongue?
 Well nonny, bring me your tongue and let’s see

73.  Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
  Ziploc bag

74.  Favourite animal?
 Otters are great

75.  What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
 Sleeping in the car.

76.  What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
 Wat?

77.  What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
 Isn’t one.

78.  How can you win my heart?
 Take the time to understand me, be a decent person.

79.  What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
 (killed 99 bears)

80.  What is my favourite word
 Spigot

81.  My top 5 blogs on tumblr
 @sea-room, @67-impalas, @gruene-teufel, @sirens-and-stethoscopes, @where-are-your-source-citations, @mountain--miss

82.  If the whole world were listening to me right now, whatwould I say?
 “Go away”

83.  Do I have any relatives in jail?
 An uncle by marriage is in jail for spying for the Russians...

84.  I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They weregood, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of mychoice! What is that power?
 Happiness

85.  What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
 I don’t know.  Ask questions and find out?

86.  What is my current desktop picture?
 A still from 9th Company

87.  Had sex?
 Yup

88.  Bought condoms?
 Yup

89.  Gotten pregnant?
 Nope

90.  Failed a class?
 Yup

91.  Kissed a boy?
 Yup

92.  Kissed a girl?
 Yup

93.  Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
 Nope

94.  Had job? Do I look like a dirty commie to you?

95.  Left the house without my wallet?
 Yup

96.  Bullied someone on the internet?
 Nope

97.  Had sex in public?
 The woods count?

98.  Played on a sports team?
 Yup

99.  Smoked weed?
 Nope

100.                Did drugs?
 Nope

101.                Smoked cigarettes?
 Yup

102.                Drank alcohol?
 Yup

103.                Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
  lmao no

104.                Been overweight?
 I guess?

105.                Been underweight?
 Yup

106.                Been to a wedding?
 Yup

107.                Been on the computer for 5 hoursstraight?
 Yup

108.                Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
 Maybe?

109.                Been outside my home country?
 Yup

110.                Gotten my heart broken?
 Yup

111.                Been to a professional sports game?
 Yup

112.                Broken a bone?
 Nope

113.                Cut myself?
 Yup

114.                Been to prom?
 Yup

115.                Been in airplane?
 Yup

116.                Fly by helicopter?
 Nope

117.                What concerts have I been to? Of Monsters and Men, Garth Brooks, Fallujah, Boston Pops, Sabaton


118.                Had a crush on someone of the samesex?
 Nope

119.                Learned another language?
 Yup

120.                Wore make up?
 Nope

121.                Lost my virginity before I was 18?
 Nope

122.                 Had oral sex?
 Yup

123.                Dyed my hair?
 Nope

124.                Voted in a presidential election?
 Yup

125.                Rode in an ambulance?
 Yup

126.                Had a surgery?
 Yup

127.                Met someone famous? Joakim Broden and Benjamin Mendlowitz 


128.                Stalked someone on a social network?
 Who hasn’t?

129.                Peed outside?
 Yup

130.                Been fishing?
 Yup

131.                Helped with charity? Yup


132.                Been rejected by a crush? Yup


133.                Broken a mirror?
 No

134.                What do I want for birthday? Stability, happiness, space.  Or guns. Guns is cool too.


135.                How many kids do I want and whatwill be their names?
 Shit man, I don’t even know what I’m gonna eat for dinner

136.                Was I named after anyone?
 No?

137.                Do I like my handwriting?
 It’s fine I guess

138.                What was my favourite toy as achild?  Playmobil

139.                Favourite Tv Show?
 The Dukes of Hazzard

140.                Where do I want to live when older?
 New Hampshire

141.                Play any musical instrument?
 Cello

142.                One of my scars, how did I get it?
 My sister attempted to scratch my eyes out

143.                Favourite pizza toping?
 Buffalo chicken

144.                Am I afraid of the dark?
 Nope

145.                Am I afraid of heights?
 Nope

146.                Have I ever got caught sneaking outor doing anything bad?
 No?

147.                Have I ever tried my hardest andthen gotten disappointed in the end? Fuck yeah

148.                What I’m really bad at
 Most things lmao

149.                What my greatest achievements are
 I built a kayak, I talked three people out of suicide, I built an amplifier

150.                The meanest thing somebody has eversaid to me
 No.

151.                What I’d do if I won in a lottery
 Exactly what I’m supposed to do

152.                What do I like about myself
 I fucking try.

153.                My closest Tumblr friend
 Too goddamn many

154.                Something I fantasize about my ex That’s between me and the version of her I imagine in my head.

Fuck you nonny, that was a lot. 

Who are you anyway?

#answered #me #Anonymous

[eazzyesworld]

Dear Coach

(since I can’t take my feelings anywhere else... Tumblr you will be my outlet)

In my life I have had my fair share of people who I have felt a strong dislike for. But you... you surpass them with flying colors. If there was a scale...1 being love 10 being hate.. you would be a 9.9. Not a 10 only because I have vowed myself to never hate anyone. There have been so many people that have scarred me in life. But you have left the most. You have left the deepest. The hardest part with you is that it’s not physical. You barely cause physical pain. You cause something much worst. You cause emotional pain. You make me feel so small. So worthless. It doesn’t even make sense how worthless you can make me feel. I came into college with all the confidence in the world.. in my game.. in myself.. with everything. Then you came. At first I liked you.. and I think that’s what you do. You hook the people you need to.. first you hooked our head coach at the time. That got you here. Then you got our AD which helped you move yourself along. Then you hooked us.. you were our assistant coach.. someone we enjoyed being around. You were nice to us. We started running less.. worked out safely instead of damagingly hard. Then when our head coach was removed you jumped into line as quick as possible. There wasn’t even a national search done.. they went straight for you. I guess that’s our fault. We didn’t see through your bull crap. I apologize to all the teammates I’ve had that had to endure you. I apologize to them for me not seeing who you really are. But none the less, you became our head coach. At first things were okay.. but then games started. We never knew who was starting.. we never knew if we were going to play. There was never any consistency. You expected consistency, respect, responsibility, communication, and honesty from us. But from you all we got was lies, false hope, a front, anything but the things expected from us. You made playing basketball exhausting (not the physical kind) you made basketball something I dreaded doing. You made basketball a full time job. Everything went behind basketball. School, family, friends, our health, etc. i know during season basketball should be second after school. But this wasn’t the only time you took from us. The entire school year we only had 4 weeks. 4 weeks that we didn’t have to report to you. I felt like I was in jail. I was stuck. In my life I have only been depressed a few times. But every time basketball begins again I slip into a deep depression that I can’t drag myself out of until i get done with the school season. My whole life I loved basketball. I was In love with it. It was my everything. But you.. you took it away. You ripped it from my hands. And while I cried, screamed, tried my hardest to regain a grip onto my first love it was ripped by the biggest demon I’ve ever faced.. you. Coach.. now you’ve taken another teammate from me. One of my favorites. You took her scholarship.. you took one of my great friends. I hate that you have the authority that you do. Sometimes I wished you would take mine. So that I could just leave. And never come back. Never feel your emotional burden. Never cry another tear over you. Never lose hope in myself because of you. But I have one year left. Basketball pays for my school. That’s why I stay and play. And if I can get you out of there. I will. I want you off your high horse. You destroy people. You ruin everyone you touch. I wish I could get you out before you destroy more lives. Maybe I can. Probably not. You have lots of people hooked. That’s the sad part. I wish people could see you the way I see you. The way WE see you. If I ever had to say something nice about you.. it would be that you know how to catch people into your stupid web. And I hate that I got stuck. But eventually I wasn’t needed anymore. Some nights I Thank God that I’m out of your web. However, you still abuse me. I wish I could remove myself from the position I’m in. To a position where you couldn’t hurt me anymore. But I can’t. I can’t wait until the day when I’m out. When I’m free. When I can finally breathe again. The day when my head comes out...

From under water. That will be the best day of my life. Thanks for nothing.

-#54