#i really hope the situation with ellen page is a turning point

[pink-peony-princess]

Ruin

-Ellen-

I stood staring in the bathroom mirror at the large pink scar that snaked across my forehead from my left temple to just above my right eyebrow.

It had been almost three months now, and I was still in pain, some days it felt like I couldn't escape it.

I lifted my shirt to show my tummy, yet another angry looking pink scar this one jagged from where the glass had gotten me. It still pain, dull ache ever-present, the itch constant. I frowned, frustrated with how long everything was taking to heal.

"Morning baby," Shawn whispered into my neck,coming to rest his head softly on my shoulder and smiling at me in the mirror.

"Hey," I couldn't help the small smile that pulled at the corner of my lips. He was so beautiful, even first thing in the morning, dressed in an ugly washed-out green coloured pair of scrubs,ready for another day as a doctor in the local emergency department.

"What was that frown I saw before I walked in?" he asked, still watching me in the mirror.

I sighed, "Im just sick of being sore and having these ugly scars all over my body. I can't get it out of my head," I whispered, feeling the tears welling up, an all to familiar occurance these days.

"It's gonna take some time baby," he murmured, pulling me to his chest and holding me tightly.

"Yeah I know," I sighed leaning back into his hold. He really had been the best thing and he had quite literally saved my life, both physically and mentally. Our relationship had never felt forced, we'd just naturally fallen for one another, but if I was being honest I would never have imagined to be where I was today three months ago.

-Three Months Earlier-

-Third person-

"This is a trauma call for an eta of ten minutes," a voice came over the Emergency Department intercom.

"I hate trauma calls," Brian sighed as he got geared up, placing the label that declared him to be team leader onto his protective gown, before pulling a fresh pair of gloves on to replace the ones he had just used to help stitch up a little girl's head after she took a tumble.

"Is the bed all ready?" he asked, ducking his head around the curtain of the only free bay in the department. It had been one of those nights, and it was only eight, meaning that he was only two hours into a twelve-hour shift.

"Almost," his college, and fellow critical care doctor, Connor spoke as he wheeled the crash cart into place, and situated the supplies draw.

"What do we know so far?" Michael, another doctor asked, coming to stand by the other two doctors.

"Adult female, hit and run, while crossing the street." Connor spoke, while glancing down to check his watch for the time remaining before they were set to arrive.

"That sounds nasty," Michael commented, wincing slightly in sympathy. "It's a good thing the nurses decided to page Ortho I suppose, it sounds like you'll be needing my expertise," he turned to face his colleague.

"I hate to say it, but I'd have to agree," Brian replied, sharing a knowing look with the other two doctors.

All three of them knew that pedestrian hit and runs where never good, and there was a high rate of critical injuries sustained, and of course these were usually inflicted on the innocent party. They didn't speak for several minutes, each fidgeting, just wanting to start helping the poor girl already. They didn't say it, but they knew it wouldn't be pretty. This has been confirmed when they got a message via one of the nurses, saying that Shawn, one of their friends and fellow colleague, and, emergency care physician was on route to the scene of the accident after the paramedics requested his help. This was not something that happened ogten, and only when completely necessary. The hospital liked to keep Ashton there as his expertise was so useful in many of the situations that the department faced.

-Ellen-

All I could feel was pain. Pain everywhere. Every inch of my body was hurting.

I tried to piece together how I had come to be here, but was met with some unknown resistance when I tried to turn my head, and survey my surroundings. "Stay still honey. We're going to get you to the hospital shortly, but just bear with us okay," a voice spoke from somewhere above my head. It was then that I became aware of the hands touching me, and instinctively I tried to pull away. "Dave, I think It'll be best to sedate her for the time being," a different voice spoke. That was the last thing I was aware of before I woke to bright lights, and calm, but still somehow urgent, voices.

-Third Person-

When Shawn and Dave arrived on scene, it was worse then they had expected. The poor girl was laying in the middle of what would normally be a busy street, onlookers everywhere watching with baited breath. "Can we move some of these guys out of here?" Shawn asked one of the many police officers that were standing around, waiting for direction. The last thing his patient needed was an audience when they were completely defenceless.

When they finally managed to push their way through the crowd of people, and get the relevant equipment set up, it was to find that things were much more complicated and critical then they had first thought.

"What do we know?" Dave, the paramedic on the case asked.

"They've not been able to give us much, but they're saying that someone ran a red, hit her, and took off. They're trying to run the plates now, track the person down," a burly police officer spoke. " I'll leave you guys to it," he spoke, patting them both on the shoulder, before getting up and going to help the other officers control the swelling crowds,"

As they both surveyed the situation, the injuries were clear to see. The girl had dislocated her left shoulder, broken her collarbone, and from the blood soaking through her pants and the angle of her right ankle, she had a compound fracture. Perhaps more concerning though was the blood that was fishing from a open head wound above her eyebrow, and flowing from her nose. The latter was usually a sign of internal bleeding.

"Hello?" Shawn spoke, as Dave started getting the collar ready. "If you can hear me, give my hand a squeeze okay," he continued slipping his gloved hand into the girl's bloody one, and praying there was a response.

After a moment there was, and they both thanked the heavens.

"Sweetheart, my name is Shawn, I'm a doctor, and this is Dave. Can you remember your name?" Shawn asked, leaning down in the hopes of hearing the young woman's response.

"Ellen," she whispered. It was barley there, but it was still a response.

"Okay Ellen, this is going to be uncomfortable, but we need to put this collar on you so that you don't hurt your neck or back okay. And then we'll get you to the hospital," Dave reassured her, before going about fixing the hard plastic to the girl. Both the medics had had to put the collar on to experience what it was like for the patients, and it was uncomfortable to say the least. Neither one could fathom how bad it would be to have injuries on top of this.

They both felt dreadful when Ellen started trying to claw at the collar, desperately trying to get it off, tears flooding down her bloody face.

"I know sweets, it's okay," Shawn tried to comfort her once they were in the ambulance and had hooked her up to an I.V. with pain medication.

"Shawn, I think It'll be best to sedate her for the time being," he informed his partner, getting the sedative ready.

"Can you check her vitals again please?" he requested, "And get some oxygen on her for good measure," he added, before stepping out of the ambulance and heading to the driver's side. "I think she's stable enough to go," he added, before starting towards the hospital with lights and sirens on, indicating that this was a life-threatening situation.

In the back of the vehicle, Shawn was going about checking her pupil reaction, which turned out to be slow, indicating a moderate concussion. After this, he placed a mask on the girl, ensuring that the saturation levels were as high as possible, as after attaching her to the relative monitors, it was found that she was only satting a 80%.

Finally, he went about checking the heart and lungs, and by this point they were beginning to pull into the hospital, which relieved the medic immensely.

They were met with a team of people at the entrance, Shawn was glad to see this included his three colleagues, Michael, Connor and Brian.

"What do we have?" Brian asked, stepping behind the gurney to help Shawn push it now that Dave had left on a new call.

"This is Ellen, she was hit by a car side-on while crossing the road. She's got a dislocated shoulder, broken collar bone and a compound fracture to the ankle. Possible internal bleeding and concussion. The paramedic also found some swelling, possibly indicating spleen bruising. Lacerations to the head, with nasal bleeding. Her BP is low, same with heart rate, lungs sound normal, standard dose of pain medication given on route." He finished as they made it to the bay that had been set up before their arrival.

"Okay, I want a CT, scan of the head and abdomen and spine, and can someone get me an ultrasound machine, stat, and in the mean time let's get her hooked moved on the the bed so we can start preliminary examinations. On my count!" Brian commanded, directing the team in transferring her safely to the hospital bed.

-Ellen-

The first thing I was aware of when I came to be was the bright lights above me, making me want to shut my eyes again almost instantly. After this, it was an annoying tickling sensation on my face. I moved my hand to try and swipe it away, but was met with resistance.

"Leave it there, Ellen," a calm voice spoke. A young man came into view then. "My name is Brian I'm one of the doctors looking after you, do you know where you are?"

"In the hospital," I answered, beginning to feel overwhelmed at the gravity of the situation, which was only made worse when I realised I couldn't move anything apart from my arms.

"Just try to stay nice and calm for me, you'll be fine, we just need to do a few tests and then we should be able to get you out of this contraption," he smiled sympathetically.

"Shawn?" he called. Another youngish looking doctor, this time with tanned skin, dark hair curly hair and several visible tattoos came over.

"You called?" he asked, before turning to me. "Hi Ellen, my names Shawn," he introduced himself with a smile, "I'm another one of the doctors."

"I want to roll her to do a spinal check,"

"No problem, so on three, I'm going to roll you onto your side and Brian is going to check for sensation." He explained to me, seeing the confusion I was feeling.

A few minutes later, they determined that my spine was fine, and this was confirmed by scans they had done when I was out, that came back fine.

"There you go, that's got to feel better," Shawn smiled, readjusting the blankets to provide me with more modesty.

"Ellen, are you in any pain?" Brian asked, coming over and shining a small light in my eyes.

"My tummy is really sore, and my shoulder and chest area," I told him.

"Okay, I'll get the nurse to increase the hourly dosage, there's no reason you should be in pain. You'll probably still be a little sore though, you've got a bruised spleen, which given time will heal, but you'll be tender for a while. As for your chest, you broke your collar bone on impact. We've put your arm into a sling to help limit the movement and give it an opportunity to heal. You did dislocate your other shoulder though, and we're going to have to put it back into place- don't worry though, we've got Michael doing it for you, and we're going to dose you up so you won't remember a thing," he laughed, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"You needed me?" yet another doctor walked in, dyed blonde hair, sitting across his face. "Sorry," he added, "There was an emergency in the pit,"

"Ellen, this is Michael, are you ready?" Shawn asked.

"Mmmmm?" I responded unsure.

"You'll be fine," he responded, going to adjust my meds.

To the say that the process was painful would be the understatement of the year, and I may have called all three of them some uncomplimentary names, but after the fact I got some immediate relief.

The rest of the night was spent getting my many cuts stitched up, with the doctors, helping to keep me distracted by talking to me about my everyday life. I ended up in tears when I was introduced to Shawn again,apparently I'd met him a few times before, but I really couldn't remember, who I was told was one of the main people who got me to the hospital. "It's okay," he had spoken, giving me a gentle hug. "It's what we do!" he smiled, grabbing a tissue and wiping the tears off my face.

"They told me you're studying vet science?" he asked, sitting down on a chair next to the bed Connor another doctor and Brian went back to stitching me up. I felt my whole face break into a smile.

"Yep, I'm already a certified carer, but I wanted to take the next step."

"I really admire that," he told me, "Hopefully we'll be able to get that ankle of yours fixed up first thing tomorrow and onto the road of recovery." he spoke, referring to the compound fracture in my ankle that Shawn had told me about not long after I woke. Admittedly, I had thrown up when he told me what a compound fracture was, and had gone into a panic when he explained it would need surgery, but he had calmed me quickly.

"You'll be fine, you've got the best Ortho in the place working on you, Michael. You won't know anything happened once he's done, and you're all healed.

The coming weeks were filled with highs and lows, the surgery went well, and there was no post op infection, something that made all the doctors very happy, however the pain was almost unbearable at times, and they had to give me multiple pep talks to get me through it. I did it though, we their help.

The experience had helped to shape me, and when it was finally time to leave, I knew that I was leaving with four new friends.

But the one person I could always count on was Shawn. He helped me through everything, physio appointments, monthly reviews but above everything else he was a shoulder to lean on, someone to cry to when things got tough. And I guess through all of that our relationship had blossomed without us even realising. But one thing was for sure...

-Present Day-

I turned smiling now, as Shawn looked down at me I uttered the five words that meant so much to me.

"You save me from Ruin."

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagines #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes blurb #doctor!shawn #mendes triplets #werewolf!shawn #peter mendes #raul mendes #shawnblr

[pinkpeonyprincessblog]

Ruin

-Ellen-

stood staring in the bathroom mirror at the large pink scar that snaked across my forehead from my left temple to just above my right eyebrow.

It had been almost three months now, and I was still in pain, some days it felt like I couldn't escape it.

I lifted my shirt to show my tummy, yet another angry looking pink scar this one jagged from where the glass had gotten me. It still pain, dull ache ever-present, the itch constant. I frowned, frustrated with how long everything was taking to heal.

"Morning baby," Shawn whispered into my neck,coming to rest his head softly on my shoulder and smiling at me in the mirror.

"Hey," I couldn't help the small smile that pulled at the corner of my lips. He was so beautiful, even first thing in the morning, dressed in an ugly washed-out green coloured pair of scrubs,ready for another day as a doctor in the local emergency department.

"What was that frown I saw before I walked in?" he asked, still watching me in the mirror.

I sighed, "Im just sick of being sore and having these ugly scars all over my body. I can't get it out of my head," I whispered, feeling the tears welling up, an all to familiar occurance these days.

"It's gonna take some time baby," he murmured, pulling me to his chest and holding me tightly.

"Yeah I know," I sighed leaning back into his hold. He really had been the best thing and he had quite literally saved my life, both physically and mentally. Our relationship had never felt forced, we'd just naturally fallen for one another, but if I was being honest I would never have imagined to be where I was today three months ago.

-Three Months Earlier-

-Third person-

"This is a trauma call for an eta of ten minutes," a voice came over the Emergency Department intercom.

"I hate trauma calls," Brian sighed as he got geared up, placing the label that declared him to be team leader onto his protective gown, before pulling a fresh pair of gloves on to replace the ones he had just used to help stitch up a little girl's head after she took a tumble.

"Is the bed all ready?" he asked, ducking his head around the curtain of the only free bay in the department. It had been one of those nights, and it was only eight, meaning that he was only two hours into a twelve-hour shift.

"Almost," his college, and fellow critical care doctor, Connor spoke as he wheeled the crash cart into place, and situated the supplies draw.

"What do we know so far?" Michael, another doctor asked, coming to stand by the other two doctors.

"Adult female, hit and run, while crossing the street." Connor spoke, while glancing down to check his watch for the time remaining before they were set to arrive.

"That sounds nasty," Michael commented, wincing slightly in sympathy. "It's a good thing the nurses decided to page Ortho I suppose, it sounds like you'll be needing my expertise," he turned to face his colleague.

"I hate to stay it, but I'd have to agree," Brian replied, sharing a knowing look with the other two doctors.

All three of them knew that pedestrian hit and runs where never good, and there was a high rate of critical injuries sustained, and of course these were usually inflicted on the innocent party. They didn't speak for several minutes, each fidgeting, just wanting to start helping the poor girl already. They didn't say it, but they knew it wouldn't be pretty. This has been confirmed when they got a message via one of the nurses, saying that Shawn, one of their friends and fellow colleague, and, emergency care physician was on route to the scene of the accident after the paramedics requested his help. This was not something that happened ogten, and only when completely necessary. The hospital liked to keep Ashton there as his expertise was so useful in many of the situations that the department faced.

-Ellen-

All I could feel was pain. Pain everywhere. Every inch of my body was hurting.

I tried to piece together how I had come to be here, but was met with some unknown resistance when I tried to turn my head, and survey my surroundings. "Stay still honey. We're going to get you to the hospital shortly, but just bear with us okay," a voice spoke from somewhere above my head. It was then that I became aware of the hands touching me, and instinctively I tried to pull away. "Dave, I think It'll be best to sedate her for the time being," a different voice spoke. That was the last thing I was aware of before I woke to bright lights, and calm, but still somehow urgent, voices.

-Third Person-

When Shawn and Dave arrived on scene, it was worse then they had expected. The poor girl was laying in the middle of what would normally be a busy street, onlookers everywhere watching with baited breath. "Can we move some of these guys out of here?" Shawn asked one of the many police officers that were standing around, waiting for direction. The last thing his patient needed was an audience when they were completely defenceless.

When they finally managed to push their way through the crowd of people, and get the relevant equipment set up, it was to find that things were much more complicated and critical then they had first thought.

"What do we know?" Dave, the paramedic on the case asked.

"They've not been able to give us much, but they're saying that someone ran a red, hit her, and took off. They're trying to run the plates now, track the person down," a burly police officer spoke. " I'll leave you guys to it," he spoke, patting them both on the shoulder, before getting up and going to help the other officers control the swelling crowds,"

As they both surveyed the situation, the injuries were clear to see. The girl had dislocated her left shoulder, broken her collarbone, and from the blood soaking through her pants and the angle of her right ankle, she had a compound fracture. Perhaps more concerning though was the blood that was fishing from a open head wound above her eyebrow, and flowing from her nose. The latter was usually a sign of internal bleeding.

"Hello?" Shawn spoke, as Dave started getting the collar ready. "If you can hear me, give my hand a squeeze okay," he continued slipping his gloved hand into the girl's bloody one, and praying there was a response.

After a moment there was, and they both thanked the heavens.

"Sweetheart, my name is Shawn, I'm a doctor, and this is Dave. Can you remember your name?" Shawn asked, leaning down in the hopes of hearing the young woman's response.

"Ellen," she whispered. It was barley there, but it was still a response.

"Okay Ellen, this is going to be uncomfortable, but we need to put this collar on you so that you don't hurt your neck or back okay. And then we'll get you to the hospital," Dave reassured her, before going about fixing the hard plastic to the girl. Both the medics had had to put the collar on to experience what it was like for the patients, and it was uncomfortable to say the least. Neither one could fathom how bad it would be to have injuries on top of this.

They both felt dreadful when Ellen started trying to claw at the collar, desperately trying to get it off, tears flooding down her bloody face.

"I know sweets, it's okay," Shawn tried to comfort her once they were in the ambulance and had hooked her up to an I.V. with pain medication.

"Shawn, I think It'll be best to sedate her for the time being," he informed his partner, getting the sedative ready.

"Can you check her vitals again please?" he requested, "And get some oxygen on her for good measure," he added, before stepping out of the ambulance and heading to the driver's side. "I think she's stable enough to go," he added, before starting towards the hospital with lights and sirens on, indicating that this was a life-threatening situation.

In the back of the vehicle, Shawn was going about checking her pupil reaction, which turned out to be slow, indicating a moderate concussion. After this, he placed a mask on the girl, ensuring that the saturation levels were as high as possible, as after attaching her to the relative monitors, it was found that she was only satting a 80%.

Finally, he went about checking the heart and lungs, and by this point they were beginning to pull into the hospital, which relieved the medic immensely.

They were met with a team of people at the entrance, Shawn was glad to see this included his three colleagues, Michael, Connor and Brian.

"What do we have?" Brian asked, stepping behind the gurney to help Shawn push it now that Dave had left on a new call.

"This is Ellen, she was hit by a car side-on while crossing the road. She's got a dislocated shoulder, broken collar bone and a compound fracture to the ankle. Possible internal bleeding and concussion. The paramedic also found some swelling, possibly indicating spleen bruising. Lacerations to the head, with nasal bleeding. Her BP is low, same with heart rate, lungs sound normal, standard dose of pain medication given on route." He finished as they made it to the bay that had been set up before their arrival.

"Okay, I want a CT, scan of the head and abdomen and spine, and can someone get me an ultrasound machine, stat, and in the mean time let's get her hooked moved on the the bed so we can start preliminary examinations. On my count!" Brian commanded, directing the team in transferring her safely to the hospital bed.

-Ellen-

The first thing I was aware of when I came to be was the bright lights above me, making me want to shut my eyes again almost instantly. After this, it was an annoying tickling sensation on my face. I moved my hand to try and swipe it away, but was met with resistance.

"Leave it there, Ellen," a calm voice spoke. A young man came into view then. "My name is Brian I'm one of the doctors looking after you, do you know where you are?"

"In the hospital," I answered, beginning to feel overwhelmed at the gravity of the situation, which was only made worse when I realised I couldn't move anything apart from my arms.

"Just try to stay nice and calm for me, you'll be fine, we just need to do a few tests and then we should be able to get you out of this contraption," he smiled sympathetically.

"Shawn?" he called. Another youngish looking doctor, this time with tanned skin, dark hair curly hair and several visible tattoos came over.

"You called?" he asked, before turning to me. "Hi Ellen, my names Shawn," he introduced himself with a smile, "I'm another one of the doctors."

"I want to roll her to do a spinal check,"

"No problem, so on three, I'm going to roll you onto your side and Brian is going to check for sensation." He explained to me, seeing the confusion I was feeling.

A few minutes later, they determined that my spine was fine, and this was confirmed by scans they had done when I was out, that came back fine.

"There you go, that's got to feel better," Shawn smiled, readjusting the blankets to provide me with more modesty.

"Ellen, are you in any pain?" Brian asked, coming over and shining a small light in my eyes.

"My tummy is really sore, and my shoulder and chest area," I told him.

"Okay, I'll get the nurse to increase the hourly dosage, there's no reason you should be in pain. You'll probably still be a little sore though, you've got a bruised spleen, which given time will heal, but you'll be tender for a while. As for your chest, you broke your collar bone on impact. We've put your arm into a sling to help limit the movement and give it an opportunity to heal. You did dislocate your other shoulder though, and we're going to have to put it back into place- don't worry though, we've got Michael doing it for you, and we're going to dose you up so you won't remember a thing," he laughed, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"You needed me?" yet another doctor walked in, dyed blonde hair, sitting across his face. "Sorry," he added, "There was an emergency in the pit,"

"Ellen, this is Michael, are you ready?" Shawn asked.

"Mmmmm?" I responded unsure.

"You'll be fine," he responded, going to adjust my meds.

To the say that the process was painful would be the understatement of the year, and I may have called all three of them some uncomplimentary names, but after the fact I got some immediate relief.

The rest of the night was spent getting my many cuts stitched up, with the doctors, helping to keep me distracted by talking to me about my everyday life. I ended up in tears when I was introduced to Shawn again,apparently I'd met him a few times before, but I really couldn't remember, who I was told was one of the main people who got me to the hospital. "It's okay," he had spoken, giving me a gentle hug. "It's what we do!" he smiled, grabbing a tissue and wiping the tears off my face.

"They told me you're studying vet science?" he asked, sitting down on a chair next to the bed Connor another doctor and Brian went back to stitching me up. I felt my whole face break into a smile.

"Yep, I'm already a certified carer, but I wanted to take the next step,"

"I really admire that," he told me, "Hopefully we'll be able to get that ankle of yours fixed up first thing tomorrow and onto the road of recovery." he spoke, referring to the compound fracture in my ankle that Shawn had told me about not long after I woke. Admittedly, I had thrown up when he told me what a compound fracture was, and had gone into a panic when he explained it would need surgery, but he had calmed me quickly.

"You'll be fine, you've got the best Ortho in the place working on you, Michael. You won't know anything happened once he's done, and you're all healed.

The coming weeks were filled with highs and lows, the surgery went well, and there was no post op infection, something that made all the doctors very happy, however the pain was almost unbearable at times, and they had to give me multiple pep talks to get me through it. I did it though, we their help.

The experience had helped to shape me, and when it was finally time to leave, I knew that I was leaving with four new friends.

But the one person I could always count on was Shawn. He helped me through everything, physio appointments, monthly reviews but above everything else he was a shoulder to lean on, someone to cry to when things got tough. And I guess through all of that our relationship had blossomed without us even realising. But one thing was for sure...

-Present Day-

I turned smiling now, as Shawn looked down at me I uttered the five words that meant so much to me.

"You save me from Ruin."

#doctor!shawn #shawn #shawn mendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn peter raul mendes #shawnmendes imagine #werewolf!shawn #peter mendes #raul mendes #pinkpeonyprincessblog

[wxldchxld]

OOC Rant: 

So rather than spend my day finishing drafts on all my blogs and working on completing Victarion’s setup, I binged the Umbrella Academy. Mostly because I was (surprise surprise) an enormous MCR fan as a teenager, and in fact I met my first girlfriend through their online MCR forum, which I frequented regularly. I was kind of a die hard. 

For the most part I was really pleased with UA though I have to say that’s mostly because it’s so pretty. Like a lot of shows try to make shit dark and edgy by using dim lighting and shit, but the entire first season was filled with beautiful, surreal imagery that made it very engaging. And while I was disappointed that they didn’t even begin or end with one MCR song, the music was brilliant. Starting out with violin shit from Phantom of the Opera? Oh that shit is my JAM. I felt in general they had strong characters and actors that did pretty well. Especially Ellen Page,  Emmy Raver-Lampman, and Aidan Gallagher (and child actors usually annoy the SHIT out of me). Were there cliches? Yes. Was is really cheesy in some places? Yes. But... superhero shit is so overworked rn that there was no way it wouldn’t be, and I don’t think that was what GW was even going for. He didn’t want 100 percent original. He just wanted to see the genre through his own “lens” as he put it.

So there was a lot I liked. Which I need to point out because as a big MCR fan, I know what they’re like and I don’t want this to turn into a bloodbath if somehow it makes its way into the tags.

What I didn’t like was the LGBTQ representation. Well---that and the weird adopted brother/sister romance but that’s beside the point. The point is that I was really shocked by Klaus. Certain scenes, especially in the first episode, imply that he’s a gender fluid character, and it’s later explicitly shown that he prefers relationships with men (though we haven’t been told he’s explicitly gay as far as I know). He’s also a drug addict, family fuck up, comic relief, tragic-sassy-scene-kid cliche. And he’s the only LGBT representation we get on this show. That’s not ok.

First off, I didn’t read the comics, and I don’t plan to because I find comics really annoying to read anyway. I don’t know if he was in relationships with men in the comics, and I don’t care. So don’t give me bullshit over “they’re staying true to the source material.” It doesn’t matter if he was gay/bi/pan in the original series, it doesn’t matter if that was ok when it was written, all that matters is that right now in the current climate, LGBTQ people don’t want the fuck up character to be their only representation in a show/book/movie.

Second, this could have very easily been solved by just---adding more representation. Rather than Patrick, Allison could have been in a failed relationship with another woman, and they could have still done her weird romance arc with Luther. Rather than the dude whose name I literally don’t remember because his character was so forgettable, Vanya could have been seduced and manipulated by another woman. Rather than the sexy female cop, it could have just as easily been a sexy male/trans/nonbianary cop Diego dated and it wouldn’t have mattered. This problem was an easy fix. Hell Page is a lesbian woman!!! She would have been willing to play that part, I’m sure. 

Third, this feels really fetishy. I can already see the straight girls writing horrible hurt/comfort category yoai bullshit on Ao3 and if it hasn’t started I’m positive it will. Do you know why? Because Klaus is the type of character they fetishize. Look at Bucky Barnes, look at Loki, look at the people in super hero movies that are the focus of those fics and tell me that Klaus doesn’t sit at the apex of that category. It’s not ok. 

Look I’m sure that Klaus’ character has something to do with Gerard’s own struggle with gender identity, and I understand the circumstances that surrounded him as he was writing UA that likely influenced the character that came out of it. Because if he doesn’t scream Black Parade I don’t fuckin know what does. But that doesn’t make it ok that he’s the only LGBTQ representation in the show.

What scares me is that while I haven’t looked at any official numbers I can see this show having a large teenage audience, as well as the older audience that likely tuned in for similar reasons that I did. The visuals, the characterization, the plot, it’s all very appealing to a teenage audience. And we need to be careful how we portray people in minority communities on shows with large teenage demographics.  

This character is literally plagued by tortured spirits. That’s not ok when you have people who believe LGBTQ kids have demons inside of them or are literally mentally ill. I was told the latter growing up and it did serious damage to me as a person. This sort of material is the stuff facebook moms and pastors quote mine for their sermons that they use to indoctrinate the parents of young children. This stuff is perfect for their fear mongering. 

I’m not going to touch on it in depth because this post is about LGBTQ rep specifically, but the way they portrayed his drug habit was also really upsetting to see. Addiction is a disease that can devastate lives and the “if you just suck it up and get over it” message really disgusted me. Again, it sends a bad message to kids that might be in a situation where they’re using drugs. You don’t just tie someone up in an attic to go through that shit by themselves. It’s very dangerous.

And yes, Klaus got sober by the end of the season, which was great, but I don’t have any hopes that he’ll stay that way or that his dynamic in his own family will change, and that doesn’t change the fact that they already spent a whole season like this.

Overall I’m really disappointed that I don’t see more people angry about this. I’m also really disappointed in Gerard Way, who I would have thought would have been more sensitive to these sorts of issues. And I’m shocked that Ellen Page, as vocal as she is about LGBTQ issues hasn’t said anything about how potentially harmful how this character is portrayed is.

#ooc #mun rant #with my last few hours with wifi i'm choosing to go off #very mature and productive of me #umbrella academy spoilers #idk if this needs a spoiler tag bc #i don't feel like i spoiled anything

[aliteraryprincess]

Princess of Glass by Jessica Day George

Warning: May contain spoilers

Welcome back to Fairy Tale Friday!  Princess of Glass is another book I originally read in high school and have reread a few times since.  And I loved the story of “Cinderella” as a kid, so taking another look at this book was lots of fun.  This is the second book in The Princesses of Westfalin trilogy.  You can find my post on the first book here. 

On a side note, how funny is it that the dress on the cover matches the dress Cinderella is wearing in my childhood fairy tale collection?

As a Retelling:

In Princess of Glass, George draws almost exclusively from the French version of “Cinderella” by Charles Perrault.  However, it is much less of a straight retelling of the tale than Princess of the Midnight Ball is of “The Twelve Dancing Princesses.”  This is necessary since “Cinderella” is probably the most well-known fairy tale and has been retold countless times.  If an author is going to differentiate their version, they need to put a twist on it.  Most of the major elements are still included; we have a girl of noble birth reduced to working as a maid, a magical godmother, three balls, and glass slippers.  However, the main protagonist is not the Cinderella character, Ellen/Eleanora.  Instead it is Princess Poppy, whose role is equivalent to one of the stepsisters in the original story. 

Let’s start with the major difference: the villain of the story.  In most versions of the tale Cinderella’s stepmother and stepsisters are the villains, though in some variants it is her blood relatives.  They mistreat Cinderella, mock her, and will not allow her to attend the ball with them.  But this obviously doesn’t work if the main protagonist is in the role of the stepsister.  Instead of a stepfamily, George has Lord Richard and Lady Margaret Seadown, their daughter Marianne, and Princess Poppy, who is their cousin and guest.  Ellen is of noble birth, but her family lost their fortune, forcing her to work as a maid after her parents’ deaths.  She is employed by the Seadowns after she is dismissed from several other positions due to her inability to do the work.  Lord Richard and Lady Margaret are kind to Ellen, even offering her a dress to attend the balls.  Poppy and Marianne aren’t unkind, just increasingly frustrated with her bad attitude and horrible work. 

This leaves an opening for the villain role, and George chooses to fill it with the fairy godmother, who she calls the Corley.  The fairy godmother is actually a creation of Perrault’s; versions of the tale prior to this more often utilize the spirit of Cinderella’s dead mother or an animal helper.  Using the godmother as the villain, in my opinion, is a stroke of creative genius that brings up some questions regarding Perrault’s tale.  In other variants, Cinderella has a relationship with her helper that is built up through the story.  In Perrault’s, the godmother doesn’t appear until Cinderella is crying about not attending the ball.  Where on earth did she come from?  And if she’s really so nice, why hasn’t she stepped in sooner to save this child from abuse?  The Corley, like the villain of the first book in the series, is a formerly human sorceress who makes bargains with people to fulfill her own aims.  Ellen’s whole situation, from the ruin of her father to her incapability at housework, is orchestrated by the Corley.

As in Princess of the Midnight Ball, George provides explanations for things in the original tale that otherwise don’t hold up.  In this case it is everyone’s inability to recognize Cinderella when she is at the balls and the prince’s immediate infatuation with her.  This occurs in every version of the tale; in many of them, the stepsisters even interact with Cinderella without recognizing her!  In Princess of Glass, the Corley casts a glamour over Ellen so no one will recognize her.  It also causes all the men to fall immediately in love with her and all the women to instantly hate her.  Poppy and Roger Thwaite, a childhood friend of Ellen’s and the brother of Marianne’s sweetheart, are unaffected because they are wearing protective charms.  They start investigating what Ellen is up to and try to find ways to free their friends from the spell.    

If we’re going to talk about “Cinderella,” we of course have to mention the shoes.  The famous glass slippers are also a Perrault original; several prior versions, including the German and Chinese tales, involve golden slippers, some are just described as beautiful, and an Irish variant has multicolored shoes.  George uses Perrault’s glass slippers and makes them as horrifying as can be imagined.  The Corley pours molten glass on Ellen’s feet to form the shoes, and they cause her a lot of pain.  Even worse, after wearing them, her feet start turning into glass!  It’s the perfect contrast to the pretty and delicate shoes given by the good fairy godmother in the original.

George also puts a twist on the shoe fitting, another aspect of the original story that seems ridiculous outside of a fairy tale.  The only way the prince can recognize Cinderella is by her putting on the slipper despite the fact that they have spent three nights dancing and presumably talking together.  Apparently he can’t recognize her face!  Some retellings get around this by using a masked ball.  The final ball in George’s book is a masquerade, but the real challenge is caused by the Corley.  After the second ball, Ellen is unable to walk and realizes what a monster her supposed godmother is.  Poppy and the others come to her aid and come up with a plan for Poppy to impersonate her at the third ball.  After this, the Corley traps her and Ellen in the glass realm, and Prince Christian and the rest of their group go to save them.  Upon entering, everyone’s memories are confused; Christian can only remember that the slipper he has belongs to his true love.  The Corley presents him with Poppy and Ellen, dressed identically, and says the shoe will fit his true love.  But he doesn’t find out by trying the shoe on.  When he looks into Poppy’s eyes, he realizes it’s her, puts the shoe on her, and has his memories restored.

This brings me to the last big difference I want to discuss: Cinderella does not marry the prince in this book.  Ellen does set her sights on Prince Christian because the Corley wants her to marry him and she wants to get away from her life as a maid.  However, Christian is actually Poppy’s love interest and Ellen’s is Roger Thwaite.  This avoids the insta-love of the original story.  While Christian becomes infatuated with Ellen, it is only because of a spell; he doesn’t really know her at all.  His relationship with Poppy, on the other hand, builds through the whole book while they are visiting in Breton.  They start as friends and slowly fall in love.  And Ellen has a long-standing relationship with Roger due to growing up together.  The two couples become engaged at the end, as do Marianne and her sweetheart, Dickon.  This is an interesting variation of Perrault’s tale; his story ends with Cinderella marrying the prince and the forgiven stepsisters marrying great lords.  George’s ends with a stepsister character marrying the prince and Cinderella and the other stepsister marrying other noblemen.

My Thoughts:

I’m just as fond of this book as I am of the first in the series.  I love the twists George puts on the original story.  In some ways, she does a bit of deconstructing the fairy tale, such as when she points out how sketchy the godmother is.  Despite bringing attention to these problems, the story still ends with a happily ever after, which is really what I want most of all from a fairy tale retelling.    

George continues with her record of creating likable protagonists.  Poppy is plucky and not quite proper; she swears, plays cards, and absolutely refuses to dance.  Yet she is kind and extremely brave.  Prince Christian is another actually nice male protagonist, and most of the humor comes from his chapters in the book.  I couldn’t help but laugh at his bewilderment over the king of Breton trying to marry him off “to the highest bidder,” as he puts it in his letter to his parents.  I also like the relationship between the two and that they save each other.  Poppy frees Christian from the love spell and Christian forces his way into the Corley’s realm to rescue Poppy.  It’s a very equal relationship, which I appreciate.

George also continues to show the effects of the first book on both a personal and political scale.  Poppy suffers from nightmares about the King Under Stone’s realm, and she refuses to dance due to her time spent there.  We are also reminded of the deaths caused by the mystery of the worn out shoes.  At one ball, a noblewoman asks Poppy why she isn’t dancing.  When Poppy replies that she just doesn’t like dancing, the woman becomes offended since her godson was one of the suitors who died.  On the larger scale, the entire reason Poppy and Christian are in Breton is the strained relationships between all the countries of Ionia.  The rulers come up with a plan to send their children off to other countries to foster international relationships.  Most are hoping to form marriage alliances as well.  We find out that there are still rumors of witchcraft surrounding the Westfalin princesses, and several characters, including the king of Breton and Christian’s father, are wary of them because of it.

The one problem I have with Princess of Glass is the climax.  It is extremely rushed, and I’m not even entirely sure how they defeated the Corley.  She attacks the group by throwing molten glass to the floor, which begins to melt.  Poppy then smashes her way through several glass walls until they are back in the Seadowns’ manor, where Rose and Galen have arrived to help.  Somehow all the bargains made with the Corley are void, and Ellen’s feet are healed.  Galen has a line about consulting with Bretoner mages to seal the Corley in her realm, and then it’s happily ever after.  The whole thing only takes a few pages.  I wish it had been drawn out longer and more detailed so I knew exactly what happened.  It would have made for a more satisfying conclusion to an otherwise excellent book.  

My rating: 4 stars        

Other Reading Recommendations:

The starred titles are ones I have read myself.  The others are ones I want to read and may end up being future Fairy Tale Friday books.  To keep the list from getting too long, I’m limiting it to four that I’ve read and four that I haven’t.

Other Retellings of “Cinderella”:

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine*

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire*

Bound by Donna Jo Napoli*

Cinder by Marissa Meyer*

Ash by Malinda Lo

Phoenix and Ashes by Mercedes Lackey

Slipper by Hester Velmans

Before Midnight by Cameron Dokey

More Retellings by Jessica Day George:

Princess of the Midnight Ball*

Princess of the Silver Woods

Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow*

About the Fairy Tale:

Cinderella: A Casebook by Alan Dundes

Cinderella Tales from Around the World by Heidi Anne Heiner 

Have a recommendation for me to read or a suggestion to make Fairy Tale Friday better?  Feel free to send me an ask!

#booklr #princess of glass #jessica day george #cinderella #aliteraryprincess fairy tale friday #books #book photography #fairy tale retellings

[everygame]

Heavy Rain (PS3)

Developed/Published by: Quantic Dream / Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 23rd February 2010 Completed: 14th January 2018 Completion: Finished it once. Trophies / Achievements: 41%

David Cage, eh? Let’s be honest, he sucks. I thought so well before his recent recently pillorying in the press for not just being a ego-centric fool but also a genuinely toxic one; I don’t need to go into the accusations here, you can read all about them at your leisure. He’s always been something of an anomaly in game development; someone who has literally never managed to make anything good (let’s not forget Peter Molyneux put in his time) yet has managed to get Sony to bankroll genuinely massive productions, not least the upcoming Detroit: Becoming Human. There’s an odd emperor’s new clothes to him.

Since the accusations, things get muddled of course. I don’t think Cage should lead a game again; before, I’d have said purely because he makes shitty things. But now it’s one of those things where the “shitty things” in question have all the hallmarks that make us ask—why weren’t the questions being asked before? One only has to look at his recent wrong-headed defense of triggering sequences from Detroit: Being Human to see there’s something wrong there, as soon as he’s actually challenged.

Perhaps you’d view this all as an aside, but I there’s been a lot of chat recently that the reason gaming hasn’t had its “me too” moment is simply that women and marginalized people in game development simply don’t have the power. It’s very different being a known actress from being a programmer, or an artist in a team of hundreds; Quantic Dream isn’t just a production house that will just put someone else in Cage’s place; he’s the founder, he owns it, he’s not going anywhere. 

It sucks.

[Keza MacDonald would write an article about this lack of a “me too moment” for The Guardian that’s worth reading—pointing out that things like #1reasonwhy shouldn’t be forgotten.]

So with that all said, it’s with rather a different light that I consider my decision with a few friends to play Cage’s post-Fahrenheit/Indigo Prophecy games “as a lark” as a bit… less… funny. I think it’s worthwhile to dig into it, anyway, as an experience, so yeah, let’s genuinely try and make sense of it and him.

For background, let’s discuss Fahrenheit, because sure as shit no one bothers to remember anything about Omikron: The Nomad Soul other than David Bowie was in it (tragically.) It’s a game that opens with a polygon model of Cage himself explaining how to play the game, and I remember cringing myself fully inside-out at that point. After that comes literally Cage’s one (1) memorable interesting bit of game design, the one (1) that literally everyone references. He places you as a man who has to hide a body in the bathroom of a diner and there are lots of different decisions to make as to how you do it; and then you play the police investigating it.

It’s interesting! Genuinely! Because of course, you know where the police should look and what they should do; but there’s that thought where… maybe you don’t want them to? There are lots of interesting things to do with “player omnipotence” in narrative games, but of course, this is basically the only time Cage does anything with it. Indeed, he spirals into what I consider his true trademarks: a complete inability to write a narrative that makes any sense, and leering sexism.

But of course, we’re not here to go into Farenheit’s plot (anyway, you all know it devolves into your zombie protagonist fighting the embodification of the internet, etc.) we’re here to with an open heart explore Heavy Rain as a serious work of an artis… I’m sorry I’ll start laughing like a drain again if I keep this up.

Heavy Rain has trophies, right? The first one you get is, literally, “Thank You For Supporting Interactive Drama.”

The hubris.

I mean, this is why you want to play this, right? Because you desperately want to try and understand how you could have so much ego, so much self-belief, that you literally do something like that.

I’m really not sure what Cage thinks interactive drama is, though. His games crib relentlessly from the language of cinema, but they’re just “interactive” right? So they’re interactive movies, right? But no, they aren’t. Because for some reason Cage is obsessed with the minutia of living. In literally any film, character doing things as mundane as, say, starting their car are cut out, filmed dynamically so they’re expressive and over quickly, or—if they are included—included for a particular narrative or thematic reason. But not in Heavy Rain. In Heavy Rain, if you want to do anything, you have to do it in the most insane detail using the absurd control system. Everything you do takes forever; just opening a door has to be done perfectly.

It adds nothing; it gums up the pacing and seems to be interactivity for interactivity’s sake, because (turns out) when it comes to the crunch your interactivity otherwise is going to be nothing more than quick-time events.

There’s another thing here, too, which I think speaks to Cage’s ego. In Heavy Rain, you can “fail” at basically anything by not doing it just right. So, for example, reaching to open a door. You can mess it up and your hand drops back to your side. You can do it slowly, you can do it fast and then stop. You can basically make your character look like a jerky moron who can’t open a door because you think it��s funny, and I genuinely refuse to believe that Quantic Dream didn’t get testers in who did this. I’ve talked before on this tumblr about how players should “meet the designer in the middle” and play along with what is expected, but a big part of that is (as the designer) not leaving your game open to abuse by offering the player things they don’t need and can basically only use to mess with the game. This is a perfect example of that, and I believe that in every situation Cage said “Real players won’t play it like that. Ignore it.”

Ego.

When you really get down to it, your interactions are little more than tedious housekeeping; only once does it make sense, as the beginning of the game you experience one character’s perfect family life and then (later) experience the shattered mirror of it, except they’re not actually direct analogues so I’m being fairly charitable in assuming that’s the point.

So let’s just pretend the game doesn’t include a lot of interactions that serve no purpose. I mean, if the story is good, usually we can excuse that, right?

Even if Heavy Rain had a plot that generally worked (it doesn’t) it does something so inexcusable that I’m shocked—shocked!—that anyone gives it a pass. I’ll give the (not so vague) spoiler that in this game (about the search for the mysterious “Origami Killer”) one of the characters you play *is* the Origami Killer! Except, for every character you play you can see their thoughts by pushing a button. And all the characters are investigating the Origami Killer, meaning one keeps investigating themselves. “Ah ha,” you might say, “obviously all of his thoughts are cleverly written to not implicate himself, but also are believably what the killer would think.”

No, they literally act like someone who doesn’t know who the killer is, thinking full thoughts that the killer could never think, and it’s not like he’s paranoid about his thoughts, or in a fugue state. It’s just… I mean, is this lazy writing? Or is it just the work of an actual moron? I mean the section of the game where he “cheats” by obscuring the actions of one of the main character is lazy writing. But this is breath-taking, the work of someone who either doesn’t know how stories work, or doesn’t care.

Let’s move on to Cage’s other hallmark; the leering. Heavy Rain is a game that has a lengthy nude shower-scene for the female protagonist that happens… in a dream. Also just to note we… don’t need a shower scene with her anyway? Or for her to like, have to fight off men in her pants for ages and ages, also in a dream? It’s ok though, she’s mostly there to tend the wounds of the male protagonist and shag him.

[“Actually, systems-wise, she’s actually necessary to help the player keep good endings available if they fuck up a lot with the other male protagonists. But yeah, she is mostly a nurse... I mean apart from that bit where she has to rip her dress and act slutty to go on to almost get sexually assaulted”—charitable ed.]

Look, I can’t bang on about Heavy Rain forever, it feels like I have already. After playing through the whole thing, I struggle if anything worse to understand how Cage not just got more work but managed to get Ellen Page to star in his next game? How this game won a BAFTA (well, a video game BAFTA) for STORY!

Heavy Rain is fucking shit and it’s not why David Cage should never work again, though at one point I’ve had said it would be. He should never work again because he’s a toxic garbage person. I hope Sony sticks him in the bin after their obligations relating to Detroit are over.

(Oh and all the staff that have suffered under him and his culture get lovely jobs making things that are good.)

Will I ever play it again? I wondered if it would be more interesting with the Move controls, but I’ll be fucked if I’m ever touching this again.

Final Thought: Above I talked about how this game drowns in the mundane; and I’d like to restate that I do think it’s a mistake to argue this is some kind of a directorial choice, to imbue that mundane with meaning. Like… I don’t know. Anyone from Ozu to Jarmusch can show how that can be used thoughtfully. Hell, just watch David Lynch’s Twin Peaks: The Return. Compare and contrast to failing to open a door because you didn’t hold the trigger down just right.

#heavy rain #video games #david cage #quantic dream #text #txt #games #gaming #playstation 3 #ps3 #ps4 #playstation 4 #sony computer entertainment #2010

[builder051]

I adore prompt number 22

Nice choice!  Here we’ll have Jason shivering his way through finals week with a fever.

I am running into a tid of a timeline problem, though (and it’s totally my own fault).  I’m doing my best to write these in the order the asks come in, but for whatever reason, I really mixed up the prompts with gen, Thanksgiving, and winter themed ones (seriously, I’m not sure what I was thinking there.)  Since finals week is usually something like the first week of December, I’m really stepping into the future here with this story, seeing as it is currently not yet Halloween.  There have been a lot of Colby requests, and I’d like to write something about the Deangeles kids at Thanksgiving, so I think I’m just going to own up to the time fuck up and say yes, this is the future, and I will eventually get these guys back into the present.  So, I’m really sorry.  Ignore me.  Enjoy the story.

And I’m so sorry for the tease at the end!  It just…felt like the right place to wrap up.  And this is supposed to be a fever one, not an emeto one anyway.

___

The library’s silence is soothing.  Jason lowers his forehead to the open textbook in front of him and shuts his eyes for a moment.  It’s only 4:30 in the afternoon.  He shouldn’t be this sleepy.  But then again, he shouldn’t be shivering with his coat on in a heated building, either.

Jason’s phone vibrates, jolting him back into paying attention.

Colby: Are you done snotting all over your tests?  Come home!

Jason wishes he could just jump in his car and drive home.  He’s been at it since morning, and the finals week block schedule is kicking his feverish ass.  It’s been two hours on, one hour off since 8 this morning, and he still has one more exam to sit today.  And two more tomorrow.

Jason: At 7.  I have one more to go.

Colby: That’s cruel and unusual punishment.  It’s already dark outside!

It’s an exaggeration.  The library’s picture windows frame the beginnings of a twilight sunset, orange touching the undersides of grey clouds and contrasting with the dusky blue sky.  Jason can’t look for long, though, because his nose starts dripping and demands attention from a Kleenex.

Colby: Feeling any better?

After holding in sneezes and shivering in his seat through the first three tests, Jason’s feeling the worst he has all day.  He’s out of cough drops, low on tissues, and doesn’t trust his stomach enough to get a bowl of soup or a cup of coffee from the student union.  He’s beyond ready to start complaining.

Jason: No!  I’m burrowing down for all 12 hours I get before this starts again tomorrow…Fuck this schedule!

Colby: Yeah, idk how u won the lottery with that one.  A 2-day week, but 4 exams in one day…might want to complain to admin.  Maybe that’s what’s making u sick.

Jason: Who knows…  Just hope I don’t die in the next couple hours.

Colby:  Please don’t.  I’d be v sad.  There’s a crying emoji face at the end of the message.

Jason sniffs and wipes his nose, careful not to soak through the precious tissue.  The clock is showing 4:45, which means it’s time to hike across campus for the last exam period of the day.  He’s loath to step into the frigid winter evening air, and even less excited for his final.

The test is in creative writing, which is usually one of Jason’s favorite classes.  The big final story projects have already been completed, but per the university’s policy, each class has to sit for an exam as well.  The instructor’s promised it’ll be just a brief multiple choice test on terms and techniques.  Plus a short writing exercise.

And that’s what he’s worried about.  With three other tests taken today, Jason’s fried.  Not to mention the fact that his fever is literally cooking him in his own skin.  He has no idea what the exercise will be:  Tell a story about this photo?  Write a story about this character? Put this random scene into context?  He hasn’t had time to plan out anything, stow characters and random pieces of plotline in the depths of his overheated brain.  Creativity is about the last thing on his agenda at the moment.

Jason plods diagonally across the grassy courtyard and through a maze of sidewalks to the Humanities building.  As expected, the outdoor temperature bites through Jason’s clothes makes him shiver.  The scent of hot food hits him as soon as he’s through the doors.  The little ground-floor café is serving dinner to a long line of students.  It’s rare for Jason to pass by without stopping for a bag of chips or a vanilla latte, but just the scent is turning his stomach.  He does pause near the trash can to forcefully blow his nose and dispose of the soggy tissue.

The classroom is open, and a few students have already taken their seats.  Jason takes his usual desk near the front of the room, but wonders if he should retreat to the back corner instead.  He hopes the gentle tremor to his hands and shoulders isn’t noticeable, but he’s sure to be the center of attention if he lets loose with a loud sneeze or has to blow his nose.  Considering how things have been going, it’s likely going to be both, one right after the other.

Jason elects to stay put, especially since more students are pouring in now, most clutching warm cups of coffee.  He huddles into himself, jamming his stiff fingers into the armpits of his coat and pulling his chin down below its collar.  Jason’s joints hurt.  He feels ancient.  The warp-speed flicker of the fluorescent lights overhead makes his eyes burn and increases the intensity of his headache.

He’s on the point of shutting his eyes, but the grandmotherly PhD candidate of an instructor bustles in and declares the exam period begun.  The clock still reads 4:59, but if starting a minute early means finishing a minute early, Jason’s all for it.

Test papers are distributed, and Jason uses his favorite blue roller ball pen to scribble his name in the upper right-hand corner.  His sloppy writing is even messier than usual because nerves and illness push champagne bubble quivers down through his fingertips.

The multiple choice section is easy enough.  Four pages, front and back, only amounts to 25 questions or so, and Jason breezes through.  A few require him to pause and consider for a moment, and a few more have him re-reading the questions because his boiling brain is missing things, but all in all, he feels he’s doing well.

Then he flips to the final page in the packet and begins to read the directions for the written section.  Calling it open-ended would be an understatement.  There’s close to no guidance on anything; length, subject matter, characters, it’s all up for grabs.  Any other day, Jason would consider it a nice opportunity to experiment.  Today, though, it just means his mind’s completely blank.

Jason drops his forehead into his empty palm as he taps a series of dots into the top of the page.  He doesn’t have a name for his character. Or a gender.  Ellen, maybe?  He writes about girls a lot.  But wait, is Ellen the name of the girl on Daredevil, the one who’s the secretary? No, it’s something else…

Ellen who lives in Antarctica because it’s so goddamn cold in here.  What’s he going to make her do?  There’s not enough time or space on the page to create much.  Christmas is too obvious a situation, since it’s hanging right around the corner.  Maybe she slams her head into a tree while downhill skiing.  That’d end the story with a bang.

Great, now he’s getting morbid.  Jason shakes his head, bringing vertigo into the mix.  Just pick something and write it down, he tells himself.  He’s wasting time.

“Are you doing ok?”  The elderly instructor is at his elbow, peering down through her thick spectacles at his blank page.

“Hm.  Yeah.  I don’t know,” Jason says all at once.  Too quickly.  There’s too much spit in his mouth.

“Need an idea to get you started?” she asks.

“Just, nothing seems right,” Jason admits, setting down his pen and burying his face in both hands.

“Now, is that you or the fever talking?” the instructor posits, a knowing look in her dark eyes.

“What?”

“This is very unlike you.  I know you’re not feeling yourself right now, or you’d have half the page filled up already.”  It’s more or less the truth.  Most of Jason’s assignments came out longer than required.  And he still handed them in early.

“Yeah, my head,” he says.  A wave of dizziness crawls down from his hairline.  “Kind of, like, nauseous…”

“Then get on out of here, son,” the instructor says.  “Send me an e-mail before the end of the week.  But word on the street is you’re passing with an A regardless.”  She winks at him and takes away Jason’s exam paper before he can do anything to respond.

Finally it sinks in that he’s free to go.  Free to go home and take drowsy medication and go to sleep.  Though he’s feeling more like he’ll have to stop and find somewhere to throw up first.

“Thank you,” Jason says, lifting his backpack and rushing for the door.  “So much.”

#oc fic #ocs #my ocs #original fiction #mike & co #jason deangeles #sickfic #fever #school

[alejandrabookthoughts-blog]

Book Review # 10: Flying Lessons & Other Stories

Image: 

Evaluation of Book 

Flying Lessons & Other Stories Edited by Ellen Oh

Flying Lessons and Other Stories is small book full of multiple short stories, created by a team of wonderful, talented authors who know their craft well. Each story created and told in this book were wonderfully presented with rich characters, engaging styles, and wonderful heartfelt themes that kept that reader turning the next page.

Many of the well-rounded characters were all different and relatable. None of their stories were the same and each held their unique flavor. You see them struggle with issues children face on the daily. For instance, the main character in Sol Painting, Inc by Med Medina, you see the main character watch her Hispanic father shrink under the presence of the coach from the private prep school they are painting. The character describes the heartbreaking scene: “With those words, my father shrinks before my very eyes. My arms hurt, and I’m thirsty, and hot. I feel ugly. My cheeks burn an I stand there, humiliated for all of us” (p.56). This is reality for many children from minority backgrounds. We see her struggle through this until the very end, until her brother comes who seems to share the same sentiment and has reached his own understanding of the situation. In another short story Secret Samantha by Tim Federle we watch another great instance of great development. Samantha struggle through her feelings for the new girl at school, how others perceive her through her choices of wanting to be called Sam and her likes differing from other girls in the class. As she learns to accept herself, we also see how her mother comes to accept a little more as well by addressing by the name she wants. These great instances are just a few of the great characters in the book presented in these short stories.

The different styles reflect the author’s unique way of writing. Each of them have their own voice that made the stories separate from the rest. Dropping in words from other languages, was a definite high point. The tidbits of Spanish for example were all used in dialogue situations that they naturally arise in. One instance is in Sol Painting, Inc. The main character’s father mixes his words with Spanish and English in such a natural flow it does not disturb the progress of the story. He says: “…it won’t cost me un centavo to have Merci attend this semester! ¿Qué te parece? Your old man is always thinking!” (p. 47). It’s little instances like these that touch readers who have experienced these kinds of situations. Another distinct style was by done by Alexander Kwame, who wrote his entire short story in verse form. Despite taking that route, the story still feels like a story. Not a poem that has to be pulled apart and dissected.

All the diverse themes presented in this story were all so wonderful. It was a fresh breath of air reading about so many multicultural characters and all their struggles. There was Indian characters, Native Americans, Hispanic, African Americans, and others that were shown in this book. Each of them contained a theme of accepting themselves, of dreaming big, of following your dreams and not being bound to the fates other set out for you. All these ideas are important to have in books, to give children insight and hope that they can achieve more than that what they believe. Everyone has a shot, some may have to work harder than others, but it can be done. Hardships are a reality, but they build empathy and compassion. Much of these stories encompassed these important qualities within their struggling characters who trying to figure themselves out in the world.

Response:

Some of these stories hit home for me. The ones that had characters speak like I did for instance, Spanish and English mixed together felt like coming home. Being invited to a story I belonged because those are situations I myself have experienced. Another factor I liked a lot was all the multicultural authors involved in creating this story. You see their influence reflected in their writing, in the characters. We need more books written by diverse authors in order to have more voices out in the literary world. To reach people that feel that don’t have a voice. Overall, I really enjoyed this book and all it’s short stories. It was a great read, quick and fast for someone looking for great writing and depth.

Conclusion

The wonderfully crafted characters, relevant themes, and engaging writing styles within this book make it worthy of being recommended to others. If someone were to ask for some quick, but meaningful read this would be a book I push their way.

Reference:

Oh, Ellen (Eds). (2017). Flying Lessons & Other Stories. New York, NY: Random House Children’s Books.

#5420 youth literature class #book review youth literature

[dailyaudiobible]

02/25/2017 DAB Transcript

Leviticus 16:29-18:30 ~ Mark 7:24-8:9 ~ Psalm 41:1-13 ~ Proverbs 10:15-16

Today is February 25th.  Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible.  I'm Brian and I just threw another log on the global campfire.  It's nice and warm here and I'm glad we can be together today, illuminated and warmed by the word of God in community.  So we’re going to go back out where we’ve been spending significant time in the wilderness with the children of Israel as they are learning their new identity.  We’re reading from the God's Word translation, Leviticus chapter 16, verse 29 through 18, verse 30 today.  

Prayer

Father, we thank you for another day in your word and nearly another week. The days and the weeks, they go by, and yet your word, it keeps bubbling forth.  We find ourselves in situations or in encounters with people and we see the old path, the old habits that we would immediately and initially fall into being challenged because your word is inside of us now.  So we’re beginning to think twice about what we’re doing and what we’re saying.  But we also see the struggle to maintain that, the vigilance that is required, that it is not something that is just going to happen.  It is something that is planted in us and then brings forth fruit. So Father, as we cultivate this and as your Holy Spirit leads and guides us, we want to be good soil in every conceivable way.  We want to bring your kingdom.  We want to participate.  We want to collaborate and so we open ourselves to you once again fully. Nothing is off limits to you and we invite your Holy Spirit to lead, counsel, comfort, rebuke, discipline us this day in any way we need.  It is our desire to walk with you intimately, to know you, to know you more today than we did yesterday, and to know you more tomorrow than we do today.  This is our desire.  Come Holy Spirit, we pray.  In the name of Jesus.  Amen.  

Announcements

Www.DailyAudioBible.com is home.  It's home base.  It's the website.  It's where you find out what is going on around here, so be sure to check it out. Check out the prayer wall.  We do a good job of praying for each other around here as a community.  That is one of the most beautiful things that I think has come out of this over the years. It is just a true modeling of the body of Christ.  So yes, there are the calls for sure, but there is a prayer wall at www.DailyAudioBible.com where you can post requests and get responses or read through and pray for people and respond to them, let them know they are being heard.  It is a beautiful thing, so check that out.  

The More Gathering for Women is coming up in April, which is not as far away as you might think.  Look at where we are.  We’re almost through the month of February and it was just New Year's.  So April is coming up faster than we think.  I want to invite you ladies to a really rich, rich time of just rediscovering your own heart and reconnecting with God in ways that you just rarely have time for.  It is really remarkable.  So you can find that at www.DailyAudioBible.com as well.  All the details, all the information, you won't have any problem finding it.  

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the mission that we share as a community to keep this rhythm of the scripture central, then thank you humbly, truly, profoundly.  Thank you. There is a link on the home page of www.DailyAudioBible.com.  Or if you're using the Daily Audio Bible App, you can press the More button in the lower right-hand corner.  Or if you prefer, the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996, Spring Hill, TN 37174.  

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, there is the prayer wall that I was just talking about, or you can call [phone].  

And that's it for today.  I'm Brian. I love you and I will be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer Requests and Praise Reports

Hello.  Hi. This is Sarah, the psychologist calling from Connecticut and it is my first time calling and, in fact, I am a very new believer.  I just started January 1st listening to this Daily Audio Bible and it is transformative.  And I was listening as I was driving into work and I heard Prayer Warrior Princess, Jen in Southern California and what she said so moved me.  Bravo, Jen.  I have some of the same issues about math and you really got me thinking about some healing for me around that.  So thank you for that and blessings on you and I'm so happy.  Honey, you said that you’re 41.  You are a baby.  You have years and years ahead of you to enjoy math.  And I'm 53 and I think I’ve got a lot of years too, God willing. Secondly, I wanted to talk to the man, Lori from California who called on February 16th asking for prayer. He said I need Jesus to work in my life. He's had a couple of really hard years. I felt so maternal.  I still do.  I felt so maternal to you that I just felt so proud of you for calling.  I know how hard it is, especially for men to ask for help and I just felt the light radiating from you filling me. That you can put down your armor and open yourself to being supported and loved by this community, by your church, by Jesus, by God…

Hi Dabbers.  This is Lorraine from Sherrill, NY.  This is for Charles in Branden, FL.  I recently lost my husband, Ron, Charles.  It was almost 44 years too.  I feel your pain, my friend.  I'm praying that you find comfort in the Lord.  I looked this up on Bible Gateway.  Psalm 31:9. It says be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress.  My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.  Thank you, everybody.  I love you all and I pray for you all as I hear your prayers.  This is Lorraine from Sherrill, NY.  

Hi, this is Victorious Soldier.  I'm calling tonight to pray for Kristen, for her marriage.  I want to pray for…I didn’t get the lady's name, but her niece Jody who is dying of brain cancer.  I want to pray for Lori who has been struggling and he really needs some help. Lord, I just want to pray for him right now.  Lord, you touch Lori, Lord, that he is seeking for you, and you said anyone who seeks you will find you.  Lord, I just ask you to touch Lori, in the name of Jesus.  He needs you now, Lord.  O Lord, you are a right now God.  Let him know that you are God and that you are with him and that he is not alone.  O Lord, I thank you for lifting up Lori, in the name of Jesus.  I thank you for lifting up Kristen's marriage.  I thank you for touching Jody's niece, Lord, who is dying of cancer. O Lord, you are a God that can stop anything, Lord.  O Lord, you are a God that can heal.  O Lord, you are a God that can move like none other.  You are Jehovah.  You are the great Jehovah.  O Lord, I thank you for touching Jody.  Lord, you touch her heart.  You touch her and let her know that you love her and that she is not alone, Lord.  In the name of Jesus, Lord, you have your way. O Lord, we thank you, Lord.  We thank you, Lord, also for touching Jen in SoCal.  We ask you to touch her, Lord, and continue to bless her to learn the math, Lord.  To bless her to continue to move forward and let you heal the hurt that has been going through her life.  Lord, we thank you for Jen in SoCal.  We just thank you for her, Lord.  O Lord, we thank you for Marcia, Lord.  We ask you to touch that marriage, the one in West Virginia, Cory's marriage.  Lord, you can do everything but fail.  O Lord, in the name of Jesus, we…

Hi there all my Daily Audio Bible friends.  This is Lisa.  I hope your day is fantastic.  This is Lisa, the Encourager.  I'm calling to encourage Mary Ellen.  Mary Ellen called about her still having some issues with her marriage, rocky marriage. The Lord just laid a little bit on my heart before I called tonight about…  I’ve been married a little while, so I did have a point in my marriage where I made a turn.  Where I did a shift, a paradigm shift.  I really realized that this was the key to it.  So I'm just going to share that with you and hopefully that will help.  If not, Mary Ellen, maybe somebody else. First of all, one thing I would do, sometimes I would cut my husband down, so I made a pledge that I would never do that again and I would only hold him in adoration.  If he ever did anything that bothered me like threw the towel down after taking a shower or not putting the cap on the toothpaste, you know all those little things that drive you crazy, I would just say, you know what, this is my gift to him and I pick it up and I say I'm giving him the grace and that is my gift to my husband.  And I'm doing it for God.  God sees that glory.  Then if he said something to me that kind of pushed some of my buttons, I would just hold my tongue and just not come back.  I would do whatever I could to just hold my tongue and just not say with a comeback, you know, just hold it.  And then I would also look at my husband's strengths.  You know how you always have a list of things --- I wish he did this, I wish he did that, so instead of having that list in my head, I would just say let me look at all the things he has, the reason I married him, the reason he is wonderful.  So I hope those help you guys out.

Hello, good morning family.  Its Erin from Michigan.  I hope you're all doing well and may the peace of God fill your day today.  I have a comment and a I have a prayer request. My prayer request is for my colleagues.  I teach at a public school and, as many of you know, there is a lot going on in the public school system today and some good, a lot good, actually.  Some that is good and some that needs fixing and a lot of people talking about it that maybe might not understand what is going on.  So anyway, lots of prayer for public school teachers and students and those that support and staff, so lots of prayer needed for those that are charged with the education of our future.  So that is A.  And then B, I wanted to read a part.  I started reading Reframe today.  I woke up early because my mind is full of turmoil, and so I did what would bring me peace and that is to listen to my Daily Audio Bible, hold my kitty cat and now since the podcast is over, I thought I would read the first chapter of Reframe that I’ve been meaning to read.  So just quickly, on page 4 going on to page 5:  That you are here is a gift, a beautiful, extravagant, decadent, overgenerous, expensive gift.  Something precious given by one who is hopelessly in love with you, desperately enamored of you, fascinated beyond words of you, and longing to collaborate in what comes next for you.  God is so invested in you that he put his own breath in you, molded you in his image and stood back and said that you are good.  Thank you, Brian, for this gorgeous book.  Thank you for helping us have a relationship with God and helping us remember that we are so very loved.  And you are loved, Brian.  You are loved, Jill.  You are loved, family.  I pray for you.  I love you and I wish you a most blessed day.  Thanks.

Hi DAB family.  It's Kathleen and __________ and __________ family to pray in particular for the Christians in Iraq right now as our troops are going in and trying to free Mosul from the ISIS fighters there.  There are many, many people trapped and there are actually many Christians trapped in there and they are facing death.  They are because of the ISIS __________ get closer to them, they are killing these people and in horrible ways.  I had just read about one who was crucified, so I want to lift them up into our prayers. I know we have many, many issues here that we pray about and those are all important and they are all real, but I just want you to please realize there are some people out there that are facing death for their beliefs, just for their belief in Christ.  I just ask that you would lift them up in prayer.  I also pray for wisdom for our government __________. We are in such a chaotic time right now. So thank you, believers.  I love you so much.  God bless you.

[enginerumors]

Democrats Connect with For National Park Support Investigation Soon after Climate Report Deletions

Enlarge this imageThe tidal basin seeking towards the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. Maria Caffrey's report details how a mix of intensifying storms and growing seas might impre sion 118 Countrywide Park Provider websites similar to the National Shopping mall.Jacquelyn Martin/APhide captiontoggle captionJacquelyn Martin/APThe tidal basin on the lookout toward the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. Maria Caffrey's report facts how a mix of intensifying storms and growing seas may affect 118 Countrywide Park Services web pages such as the National Mall.Jacquelyn Martin/APDemocrats on Capitol Hill are calling for an investigation in to the Nationwide Park A sistance, pointing to the report they are saying follows a "pattern" of censoring scientists who review climate change. The scientist who wrote the most up-to-date report is now concerned about her long run. After i arrived at Maria Caffrey's house in Denver, her spouse was going to just take their 3-month-old newborn out for a stroll. Her actual little one is known as Katherine, but Caffrey's profe sional toddler is her 86-page report on the Countrywide Park Service. It's about what sea stage increase and storms could do to coastal parks from the coming decades, and she's been toiling around it to the better component of six yrs. Caffrey is at first from London, so why would she care about U.S. parks? "I'm an American citizen. I have bought an American spouse and children. And so, safeguarding the countrywide parks is incredibly significant to me," she suggests. "They're element of our heritage."Enlarge this imageClimate scientist Maria Caffrey at her house in Denver.Rae Ellen Bichell/KUNChide captiontoggle captionRae Ellen Bichell/KUNCClimate scientist Maria Caffrey at her household in Denver.Rae Ellen Bichell/KUNCCaffrey is really a local weather scientist along with the College of Colorado, but with the previous ten years she's labored with all the Nationwide Park Service like a contractor doing every little thing from advising them on local weather transform dangers for Mattise Thybulle Jersey coastal parks to building roadside symptoms about local weather improve for travellers to examine. Through that point, she recognized the agency was using constrained, scattered research to strategy for i sues like flooding. "There are numerous parks that were counting on regional experiences or reports which were out of date. There were folks who will not have any teaching in weather modify and in order that they are normally just locating regardle s of what they are able to from the web to count on, and people studies will all have diverse solutions likely into them," she says. "So, I found it absolutely was truly, really e sential that we use just one consistent method through the board."The Two-Way FEMA Drops 'Climate Change' From Its Strategic PlanThe Two-Way EPA Moves To Weaken Landmark Gas Performance Regulations Caffrey focused several decades to working out how the combination of intensifying storms and soaring seas may influence 118 Countrywide Park Services web-sites destinations like the Nationwide Mall in Washington, D.C., which might not fare well against storm surge from a category three hurricane buoyed by rising seas. "It would build flooding throughout a huge spot," she states. Caffrey's report acknowledges that some transform is organic, like El Ninos. "There's normally likely to be a combination of things. But what we're modeling for is that human ingredient," she suggests. She came up with four results for every web-site, every a person determined by simply how much carbon dioxide people emit into your air. You will find the worst-case situation if we go on with small busine s as typical. There are 2 in-between eventualities. And afterwards there is certainly the best-case, if we stage up and reduce emi sions. "Potentially it truly is hopeful. We could elect to try to go down that le sen emi sions path and become equipped to divert ourselves absent from considerably greater sea ranges," she claims. Compiling this https://www.76ersedge.com/Wilt-Chamberlain-Jersey report was a long slog, but at last appropriate prior to the 2016 presidential election she turned in the closing draft. The Countrywide Park Support continues to be sitting down on it at any time considering the fact that. Elizabeth Shogren, a journalist with Expose within the Heart for Investigative Reporting, listened to regarding the delay and requested public data over the review. They show it had been edited inside of a extremely specific way. "They needed to acquire out this," states Caffrey, pointing into a laptop monitor marked up with edits that systematically delete mentions that local climate improve is induced by humans. Drafts of Caffrey's report clearly show which the Nationwide Park Service has made an effort to delete mentions of the human job in weather improve.Rae Ellen Bichell/KUNChide captiontoggle captionRae Ellen Bichell/KUNCWords like "anthropogenic," the scientist way of stating "human-caused," happen to be cro sed out.Nationwide Park Services workforce have made an effort to take out the word "anthropogenic," which means "human-caused."Rae Ellen Bichell/KUNChide captiontoggle captionRae Ellen Bichell/KUNCWhat that means is misplaced or altered by this sort of compact edits? "I'm not sure I am prepared to enter that right now," says Caffrey. She's hesitant to say far more for the reason that she's nonethele s functioning carefully along with the Nationwide Park Service, which funded her investigation, and with whom she's worked for a long time. But Romany Webb, a local climate law fellow at Columbia Regulation School, will discu s. "Definitely this really is only one illustration of a broader development in the Trump administration to silence science that it disagrees with," suggests Webb, who runs a web page at Columbia Regulation named the Silencing Science Tracker. The positioning is usually a joint venture with Local climate Science Legal Defense Fund that tracks governing administration tries to limit or stop scientific study. Thus far, they've got greater than one hundred twenty entries and, Webb says, that is growing virtually every day. "We have numerous examples of references to climate alter remaining removed from governing administration documents and sites. We have now illustrations of government experts staying prevented from speaking publicly about weather transform," she claims. Webb says the developing list paints a worrying photograph of how the existing administration is silencing science, even if within the surface it might look like modest edits, this kind of as eliminating words like "anthropogenic." "But they are actually e sential text," says Webb. "And if we take out them it seriously obscures that me sage and impairs community comprehending about what is actually leading to local climate change and what we could do to fix it." The Countrywide Park Services responded to our ask for for an interview using a brief e mail stating it's a draft report under overview and they'll give additional information when it truly is ultimate. Meanwhile, Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke not long ago answered i sues from lawmakers with regards to the controversy. Zinke claimed he "never alter(s) even a comma in scientific i sues," and he is by no means found the report. "I want an investigation into how that document got close to towards the pre s in advance of we even had a chance to look at it," Zinke claimed. Caffrey claims you will find a rationale the push has the document. "I was Julius Erving Jersey legally nece sary to launch these documents," she says. That is for the reason that she will work for just a community university, where by all data must be available on request. So, when reporters came calling, Caffrey as well as the university needed to comply. It's unclear what is going to come about now with Caffrey's report on sea amount increase. There is confusion about who it even belongs to: the National Park Provider or Caffrey? "I fear every single day this toddler is forgetting me. I'm just absent," she states. When this report could appear to be theoretical for now, baby Katherine could pa s though the adjustments her mom is predicting. In 2030, for that initially established of predictions, she'll be thirteen yrs previous. By 2100, the calendar year of her mom's previous predictions, she'll be 83. "She can snorkel acro s the lighthouses and feel of mommy warning men and women about how quickly the ocean levels are soaring. Or if the subsequent ma sive storm strikes a major city, she will be able to feel of mommy and just how she warned people today," claims Caffrey. Or at the very least, how she and other individuals tried using. "I actually am seeking quite tough," she states. But she's worried in regards to the controversy around her report and exactly how it could have an affect on her long term as scientist. This tale concerns us in the Mountain West News Bureau.

Enlarge this imageThe tidal basin seeking towards the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. Maria Caffrey’s report details how a mix of intensifying storms and growing seas might impre sion 118 Countrywide Park Provider websites similar to the National Shopping mall.Jacquelyn Martin/APhide captiontoggle captionJacquelyn Martin/APThe tidal basin on the lookout toward the Jefferson Memorial in…

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#Enlarge this imageThe tidal basin seeking towards the Jefferson Memorial in Washington

[xottzot]

2018-18(MAR)-Sunday NEWS bits of this hellhole......IN HELL----

2018-18(MAR)-Sunday NEWS bits of this hellhole......IN HELL----

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WA NEWS:--------- Woman stabbed five times during Perth robbery near Claisebrook train station

By James Carmody

Updated 52 minutes ago

The 'citizens' DAMANDED it all, and now they are enjoying the fun of it all.........rememeber that as they lay dying...........attacked by the usual ones.........

PHOTO:----------------- http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/9560242-3x2-700x467.jpg

PHOTO:------------------ http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/9560250-3x2-700x467.jpg

A 15-year-old boy has been charged with stabbing a woman five times while she was trying to walk from a Perth train station last night.

The boy is thought to have been trying to rob the woman when he allegedly attacked.

Police say at about 9.20pm last night the 27-year-old woman was walking from Claisebrook train station, in East Perth, when she was approached.

Police said she had property stolen and was stabbed five times during the incident.

She was taken to Royal Perth Hospital, where last night she was in a serious but stable condition.

The heavily armed Tactical Response Group, who usually respond to serious incidents involving guns and threats to life, were called to the scene.

They last night combed the streets of the mixed residential and business district.

A boy on a bicycle was arrested shortly after the incident on a nearby street.

The boy will appear in the Perth Children's Court tomorrow.

Police are asking anyone who witnessed the incident, or can assist with the investigation, to call 131 444, Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000, or make a report online at www.crimestopperswa.com.au.

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VIC NEWS:---------------------- (the 'heroes' wanted it all and now they want more......becaue it's all harmless 'fun'........

Jump in ambulance call outs coincides with Maydena mountain bike track opening

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-18/jump-in-ambulance-calls-as-maydena-bike-track-opens/9560496

Tasmania's ambulance service has attended 11 callouts to the small southern town of Maydena since the beginning of the year, coinciding with the opening of a "gravity-focused" mountain biking park.

The new attraction opened in late January and has been drawing plenty of keen riders, with the bulk of its reviews on a social media page being five-star raves.

Social media has also hosted video of jaw-dropping accidents.

Several riders have broken bones and one rider had to be airlifted to hospital.

Jo Hurst's husband broke his collarbone after coming off a muddy track several weeks ago.

The park has a full-time medical team with a trained paramedic as safety manager, and a volunteer patrol service to supplement the paid time. Core staff have also been given wilderness first aid training.

Emergency access roads have been developed to provide access to different parts of the park and Mr French said helicopter extraction points have been developed and GPS-referenced.

Maydena Bike Park also offers bike and safety equipment for hire for guests that do not have the appropriate equipment with them and offers "guiding and bike school products" that beginner riders and first-time visitors are prompted to use.

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http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-18/showgrounds-homeless-population-overwhelming-show-staff/9559000

TASMANIA NEWS: ------------- Homelessness at Hobart showgrounds overwhelming show society president By Ellen Coulter

Updated about 4 hours ago

The man who has been dealing with an influx of homeless families at the Hobart showgrounds has had enough, and says the situation cannot continue.

More than 20 people are now sleeping in tents and caravans at the showgrounds because they can't find housing.

Royal Agricultural Society of Tasmania president Scott Gadd says the more attention there is on the showgrounds, the more people turn up.

He says one woman with a broken arm and broken neck arrived with her son on Friday night.

"We had to lend them a tent," he said.

Scott Gadd said he didn't have enough staff to deal with the situation, and police have been called in to help evict residents who haven't followed the showground rules.

He's frustrated and wants urgent help from the Government.

"We really need somewhere for these people to go. Preferably somewhere else, but if it's not somewhere else then we desperately need some help," he said.

"Most of this is being managed by myself. My staff are all occupied with their normal jobs.

"This can't go on. This is not our core business and we can't keep doing this."

He's asking his customers to donate $4 in a "pay-it-forward" scheme, so he can offer meals vouchers to people at the showgrounds.

"And they can focus on more important things than just having a meal. Which is obviously extremely important, but if we could take that pressure off them, that would help those families that are in need at the moment," Mr Garland said.

Scott Gadd said that would help.

"We've only got a microwave and a small oven with a hotplate on it so to cook a proper meal is very, very difficult here," he said.

Enough money has been raised for 100 meals so far, and Mr Garland is hoping other businesses chip in.

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Here at this hellhole`, they just invade into juast vacated houses and clain them as THEIR ON. Even with peope still living in them......................if you object, yuu get bashed bu abo woman monstly but they are every bit as violnet if not moreso thanm the men........

Dear Fliss has thrown me into this hellhole.......

I love you dear Fliss and want to eb with you just as you prmoised me. This is HELL here....HELL...........

One crimnial thug from the 'main' abo criminal houshoeld has lately taken over yet another household, the brick husehold with no fence......this is what they do..........they're so much mysteriousl money and oen all teh houses in etsh streets, yet all claim to be so very very poor, dont; send their feral kids to schoolm and wander about being criminals everywhere.....

No wonder that inocent residenent moved out today. They've had a fucking enough of this hellhole where even all Police do nothing.

Without being with you dear Fliss I truly wish I was dead. Everybody else had made it that way.

Sweet dreams of death are more than torture to me but I dream them every night without you dear Fliss.

Going to lay down now again........

I love you dear Fliss and so very much want to be with YOU just as YOU rpromised ME. Sam is bleeding.

[zeshan5165-blog]

Fundamentals of Comics

           In these 8 blogs I will introduce 8 different topics linking them to books to help build the fundamentals of comics. The topics include introduction to comics, essence of art in comics, social issues in comics, reality in comics, creativity of comics, narratives point of view, superheroes in comics, and closure with comics. Introduction to comics can be tough. Choosing the first right comic book for to read can be overwhelming because it determines first impressions. Comic books at first impressions can all look pretty similar, words with pictures, colorful, superheroes, and etc. which makes its hard to choose the first comic book for you. To narrow down to a comic book that’s a good first comic to read and a great introduction to comics is Scott McCloud’s Understanding Comics. The book is fun and easy to read and incredibly helpful in showing the reader how comics work.  McCloud talks about how much difference can be made by things like the shape and spacing of a panel in comics and the impact it has due to it. The readers are trying to define comics, and McCloud is helping them with process through Understanding Comics. For example McCloud explores the vocabulary in comics, the concept of closure as it applies to comics, time frames, line, color, drawing, expressions, and storytelling. McCloud does a great job explaining the process to understanding comics, he explains the space between the panels is called the gutter and goes in depth about how when a reader looks at one panel, they can automatically add the previous image to the next panel and complete the action or idea in their heads, which is what he calls closure. To understand comics, it is necessary for the reader to feel closure with the text. McCloud does a great job with Understanding Comics, and it is a perfect read for someone new to comics.

            The essence of art in comics is very important because without the artwork a comic book isn’t a comic book. The art is what makes it stand out from regular books and makes it fall under the genre of comics.  A comic book that satisfies the essence of art is Nicole Claveloux’s The Green Hand and Other Stories. In this book we see the Claveloux emphasizing the drawings, it really brings out the essence of art in comics. The drawings are out of this world, creative, imaginative, and enjoyable. Claveloux uses big bright colors and bubbly shapes that make the art stand out. The bright colors make the art vivid and the bubbly shapes help the visual narration compliment the textual narrations. Claveloux uses her drawings to bring the pages together, which helps shows her testing herself to see how many different ways there are to draw and color.  She uses radiant shapes and hand separated tones which makes the art look dizzying. In The Green Hand and Other stories, Claveloux uses hallucinatory color to captivate the readers, she also uses the classic black and white to emphasize depth. Claveloux uses her art to bring the readers into a land that is strangely familiar but oddly not recognizable. Her artwork seems to tell a story of its own. The essence of art in comics help define how drawings are just as important as the text because in works like The Green Hand and Other Stories, the story seems to be complimenting the art. Overall, Nicole Claveloux’s The Green Hand and Other Stories, is one of the most beautiful comics drawn, the drawings are intoxicating, because it is in a way freshness, and out of this world. The art is simply fascinating, it is as if someone dreamt on paper, which makes it a perfect to see the essence of art in comics.

            Real life problems portrayed in comics is often a common thing. Many comics use their comic books to address an issue going on, and bring awareness to that situation. One comic book that is well for a great start for a social awareness topic, is the comic book by Gene Yang’s American Born Chinese. One of the realest comic book that focuses on growing up as an Asian in the United States. In American Born Chinese, Yang tackles many stereotypes that many Asian children might’ve faced and stereotypes most of us have heard somewhere out in public. For examples kids in school express disgust at the main characters dumpling lunch, and assumes that he eats dogs. The teachers of the school butcher his name, and automatically tell everyone he’s from China because as the stereotype goes, if you are Asian you are most likely Chinese. Due to these circumstances the main character has no friends, this is something that some recently migrated children, and teens might feel in school. Yang brings out a minority group in the spotlight and introduces the difficulties a minority might come across trying to fit into a majority. Yang brought a real life problem and portrayed it in comics, he took a different way to bring attention to the problem. Stereotypes, discrimination, and racism has been a problem since long before, but to see its effect on the victim is done beautifully in American Born Chinese. Throughout the story we see key ideas such as self-hate, change, and moving towards self-discovery. The reality of these issues are severe and can sometimes be neglected, comics is a good way to inform someone of what’s going on through a different perspective, and lens. American Born Chinese by Gene Yang is a great comic that brings a real life problem in to life in comics.

            There are many reality events represented in comics. An unfortunate event that occurs in the real world is also a topic that is presented in comics. One book that focuses on a tragic event is Love is Love by Marc Andreyko. Andreyko discusses the unfortunate event of the Orlando nightclub shooting. The book was made to honor the victims of this tragic event. Comic books aren’t only meant for enjoyment, they can also touch your heart, grasp the readers emotionally, and get you to release your feelings.  In Love is Love, Andreyko is using the comic to mourn the victims, support the survivors, and celebrate the unity of LGBTQ community. Andreyko tries to bring everyone together through love, the comic book spreads love and examines love in today’s world. The comic book will empower you to bring positivity into the world, to be strong, and hope for a better tomorrow. Andreyko passionately provides a meaningful response through the comic book to a senseless act and in some ways, this is the aim of all art. Art can be an escape, a way to cope, and a way to try and make sense of a world that can be seen beautiful or seen meaninglessly cruel and unfair. Love is Love is a simple that brings a tragic event into spotlight. It’s a great read for someone who wanted to connect emotionally with this tragic event that took place. It’s a great book for a visual learner as well because the book succeeds by using an incredibly meaningful format. The entries in the book are very short, it can be compared to be a emotional and meaningful scrapbook. There’s rarely enough narrative on the page to make it feel like a full story, but it is enough to satisfy the message and point being made.

           Comics would be incomplete without creativity. Creativity of comics depend on the person making a comic. Every person beholds creativity, everyone has their own perspectives, thoughts, and ways of expressing themselves. Every comic book has its own creative edge and way of finding closure with the readers. One specific book that’s good to read for creative aspect and closure with the text is Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me by Ellen Forney. The book is a great graphic memoir that is funny, personal, and visually dynamic. Forney’s graphic memoir provides a glimpse into the effects of a mood disorder on the artist’s work. Forney believes in creativity and that everyone has it. There’s a problem that she faces in the book and she recognizes that she was unbalanced, but regardless she views that as the source of her creativity. Sane or insane, everyone has a way of being creative. Every idea is brilliant. Every person met is a chance for a memorable encounter or opportunity for a magical adventure. Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me will encourage the readers to be creative, to go out, do something fun, be wild, let loose, and be happy both for the moment itself but more importantly for a chance to tell someone about them later. To be creative, you have to start with yourself, you have to be accepting, and be proud of who you are. It’s what you contribute to the world, and it doesn’t matter how you contribute it. Creativity is a process, it takes time, it can be linked to your personal life, such as circumstances you’ve been through, past experiences, and turning points in your life, which can help spark creativity. Forney talks about how transformative work can be a way of therapy and it can help motivate creativity.

            Narrative points of view in comics is very important. It gives the main characters a voice, unlike novels, comic books also give the drawing of the character, which give the visual representation of the character to the reader for them to picture the character in the plot of the story. A graphic novel that illustrates the narrative points of view and lives of two young women from different cultural, family, and financial backgrounds who go through two different abortions, medical and surgical is Not Funny Ha-Ha by Leah Hayes. The narrative points of views helps the readers follow the two young woman through the process of choosing a clinic, reaching out to friends, partners, family, and eventually the procedures itself. Hayes simply shows us what happens when a woman goes through the situation. Despite the fact that so many women and girls have abortions every day, everywhere, all around us, Hayes uses the narrative points of view of the two character to show it can be a lonely experience. The narrative points of view help keep the graphic novel non-judgmental, comforting, and even gives the readers a humorous look at what a woman can go through during an abortion. Abortion can seem very fast procedure, it can be very quick, and girls can bounce back into their daily lives. But the event of having an abortion can really affect someone in numerous ways, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Sometimes a week later, sometimes ten years later, which will bring sadness to a person, and this is where Hayes uses her narrative points of view of the two women to show their perspectives. The two different women have two different ways of going through and coping with the procedure, and that is what we get to see in Not Funny Ha-Ha because of the narrative perspectives.

           Superheroes have always been linked to comic books, and comic books have had a great impact on superheroes. Many movies and television series make adaptions of comic books. Comic books are the origin of many superheroes. Growing up, children from everywhere have wanted to be a superhero, have superpowers, and save the world. Superhero comic books give children and everyone else the access to bring their imagination to life. Superhero comics have a buffet of different heroes, and heroines. Yet it doesn’t stop there, different heroes and heroines have many different powers. But there’s more, for any person to be a hero you need to have a good villain, and comic books also give a variety of villains. Comic books are great for fans of superheroes, and what better to way to start a superhero comic than Action Comics #1 by DC Comics. It features the first appearance of Superman, a hero everyone is familiar with, and this where a start of something revolutionary started. Readers were introduced to a character that was beyond this world. A character that can jump over buildings, lift enormous weights, runs faster than a train, someone who has impenetrable skin, with super hearing, and someone who can shoot laser out of his eyes. Superman was a creative idea, and was made a god amongst humans. Superman is also known as man of steel. Superman is a powerful figure, although not being real, he is still looked up to till today by many fans. The character of Superman has definitely inspired many creations of new superheroes, in a way Superman was the base model that made the way for future creations of heroes and anti-heroes. Reading Action Comics, will set up the reader to read future superhero comics from any universe and understand how the superhero stories are linked together with each other.

          Fundamentals of comics in short are all these subjects combined together. The different features and genres all combined make a great comic book. Lastly the one thing that holds all these subjects together, is closure with the comics. Without closure with the comic book, you can’t really let loose and enjoy the work. In order to understand and interact with the book you need to have closure. To narrow down to a comic book that’s a great comic in whole, which cannot be read without closure is One Hundred Demons by Lynda Barry. There are no restrictions when it comes down to Lynda Barry’s One Hundred Demons. The book contains themes of childhood, some joyous, and others more serious. The book is made in a way that people of all ages will be able to relate to.  In order to do so, the reader must find closure with the comic, recognize the plot, understand the personality of characters, and apply it to themselves. The layout of the book is simple, making One Hundred Demons an ideal starting point to people who are new to the comic’s genre. In this book, you will be introduced to a waterfall of colors, childlike art, themes, and messages we might have come across through our lives.  Lynda Barry uses a straightforward writing style that provides a strong, distinct narration that guides readers to connect textual and visual narrations through One Hundred Demons. Overall, Lynda Barry’s One Hundred Demons is a perfect start to the comic’s genre, whether or not you are looking for some philosophical reading or just for fun reading. One Hundred Demons is fascinating, definitely worth reading. One Hundred Demons by Lynda Barry is definitely the perfect start on a positive note to start understanding comics and find closure with a comic book.

- Zeshan Khandaker 

#fundamentalsofcomics

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Short Story #118: Missing.

Written: 6/6/2017                                                                              Nature Week

When the first child went missing in the woods, the rangers thought of it as an unfortunate accident, the consequences of wondering off the path and into the wilderness, but when five more were consumed by the forest, they started to wonder if there was a larger problem. At first they tried not to worry the community, not until they had answers, so they just made sure to have extra patrols around, and would occasionally close down access to the forest, often giving false answers as to why when frustrated visitors would come and ask questions. Elliot, one of the park rangers, was being harassed by a father who had driven thirty miles to take his kids to see the forest, and even though Elliot wanted to tell the guy that he should have taken them to a forest where kids weren’t going missing, he instead said, “The forest is under maintenance, nothing we can do”, as he fingered his engagement ring. After threatening to strike the ranger with enough force to break his own hand, the father left in a huff, kicking over a trash can on his way out. When he was sure that the man was gone for good, after waiting a reasonable amount of time, the ranger had unfolded the map of the woods, and began marking all of the areas where the kids where last seen, but he was only two x’s deep by the time that the father stormed back into the building, with three young children following in his lead. After having the kids line up in front of the ranger’s desk, the father shook his hairy knuckles at the ranger and demanded, “You tell my kids why they won’t be able to go into the forest today.” It wasn’t difficult for the ranger to tell the kids, even if the man was trying to guilt them, because it wasn’t safe, and the children seemed like they didn’t want to go into the woods in the first place, they just seemed bored and mildly embarrassed. “Sorry kids, the park is closed today, you’ll have to come back some other time.” “Louder!”, the father barked. “Why, what? The kids can hear me fine, I’m not going to-”, putting a hand into his face, “Look, sir, I don’t know what you want from me. On the website it says that is closed for the week, you should have checked that before you drove all this way to the woods. I know that you’re frustrated, but-” “So, what, am I supposed to have to check the internet every time I want to take my kids on a trip?” Looking up at the man, “What kind of question is that? What’s the point of, what the hell do you want from me?” Throwing his hands up, “What I’m owed! Just let me take my kids into the fucking woods alright?” “Sir, I can’t-”, before he could even finish talking, the man had stormed out and yelled for his children to follow him. Before they were all out the door, one of them apologized for their father, but made sure to whisper when she said it. Wanting to get back to work, but unsure if he was going to be interrupted again, Elliot just decided to step into the back room for a short while, in case the man had something else to say. Ten minutes passed, nobody had entered the building, and Elliot went back to the desk, and continued to mark the map. When it was all finished, it seemed as if there were no connections to where the kids had disappeared, but he also wasn’t sure if he would know it if there was a connection to any of it. In his mind, he was sort of hoping that all of the x’s would form some sort of shape, like a circle that would have the location of the children in its center, or it could maybe form a bigger X, but there was just a lot of randomly placed ones. As he concentrated on the map, he didn’t hear the door open, and was almost a little startled when he heard his fiance, Ellen, another ranger, ask him, “Have you seen that guy outside?” Lifting his head to look her in the eyes, “Was he bald with a full beard, was he followed around by a group of uncomfortable children?” “Yeah, he kept trying to make me read a flier, trying to say that it proved that the park was open. I kept telling him that it was closed for the week, that he could check the website, but he just claimed that we were all against him. Should we do something about him?” “Nah, he just wants to feel important, or maybe he just wants to feel a little oppressed. Whatever his fucking problem is, it doesn’t matter, he’ll probably leave when he runs out of people to yell at. When is the noon patrol supposed to come back, what time is it?” Checking her watch, “2:43, we’re supposed to take over for them at 3.” “Okay, so he should run out of steam by the time that they come back.” Looking over the counter, “What’s that you’re working on?” “Oh, this? I was trying to see if there was any connection to where all of the kids have gone missing.” “Did they form like a circle or something? Is there a pattern?” “No, here, take a look. Its just a lot of random x’s.” Ellen walked around the counter and stood behind her fiance, looking down at the map, “Oh, you know what? There is a pattern. They’re all in the woods.” After giving a courtesy laugh, “Okay, but seriously, can we talk about how bad those kids must have it. Like, not just the missing ones, who are probably scared and wandering in circles, I mean the ones who had to deal with that asshole.” “Yeah, its shame. Although, it only makes me more confident in wanting kids, you know? It makes me want to do a good job raising them, to be a good parent to make up for the shitty ones.” “Oh, yeah, uh-”, then Elliot felt trapped, because he never realized that she was expecting to raise a family, and they were already so deep into their relationship. It was difficult for him to figure out how to say “I would never want to start a family, I think that’s a terrible idea” without making her upset, without starting a fight, and he wasn’t usually afraid of arguing with her, since it was important to communicate, but he was also going to have to spend four hours wandering around the woods with her, and that wasn’t a great time to have such an important argument. Usually when things would get tense, they would either spend some time apart and cool down, or would have some very intense and very angry sex until they didn’t have any energy to be mad, and would be able to civilly discuss their problems while they were exhausted, but neither of those would be an option. So, as he felt his hands begin to sweat, and his body temperature rise, he decided that he could take a page from his (divorced) parents’ handbook, and create a bullshit excuse to not do something, “Well, I mean, how do you know we wouldn’t be bad parents?” Genuinely surprised, “What?” “Well, I mean, think about it. We work long hours, we’re hardly ever home, our job is pretty dangerous, and-” “Oh, come on, the job isn’t dangerous. And there’s no problem with bringing them here if we can’t find a sitter, Doris does that all the time and there’s never been any problem. And we could always just cut back on hours, its-” “Well, how many kids have we lost already in the woods? How many more will we lose? What if there’s something that is taking them, and what if it starts to take something bigger than a child? What if it takes one of us? Or, also this should be clear, what if it takes one of our kids? Its just too big of a risk, and we can’t find other work, you know that this job is perfect for us.” “Okay, but what if its just a bunch of kids wandering off the trail, which is the reasonable answer anyways.” “Then we’ll have a huge fucking family, no problem!” Regretting the words almost immediately, Elliot hoped that the conversation was over with for the time being, and he hoped that he could find some other excuse when the children would be found, and it would turn out that they really did just get lost. However, in only a couple minutes, a child came barging through the door, crying, spouting all sorts of indecipherable childish babble, and he realized that it was one of the kids of that asshole dad. Before he could even try to figure out what the little snot monster was upset about, Ellen had swooped in and calmed it down effortlessly, and Elliot was dismayed to see that she was a natural mother. She was able to get the child calm enough to talk, and it had explained that the father had made his children go into the woods anyways, since it was his right as an American, or some other nonsense. The child had been walking a ways behind the others, since it had terrible allergies and had to keep stopping whenever it sneezed, which was frequent, and before it knew anything, its family had been ‘taken’. That was the word it had used, and it was unable to describe any more than that. Elliot had to hide a smile as his fiance calmed the child down, tried to distract it, because there was a real chance that something in the forest was taking people, and hopefully it was killing them, or eating them, or doing any number of horrible, evil, unforgivable things that would make it irresponsible, and downright immoral, to start a family around that environment. However, Ellen decided to wait with the kid, figuring that the family had just accidentally left the child behind, and that they would be looking for it soon enough. It was already 3pm, and they decided that they would wait for the noon patrol to return, so that the child could have somebody to watch it while the couple went searching through the forest. Elliot was secretly hoping that the previous patrol would have been ‘taken’ too, but then he realized that if something awful happened to them, then he would probably have to wait in the building even longer, and it could just make his fiance more assured that she wanted to start a family. Oh, and he didn’t want any harm to come to his coworkers or whatever. Eventually they did return, the situation was explained and they were alright with watching the kid, it made them feel like they were actually doing some good, since they were unable to help any of the children who had gone missing, and were probably lost, scared, and starving. After taking the rifles from the noon patrol, the couple started their search in the woods. Usually, they would walk along the paths, and enter the forest in the areas where the children had been last seen, to try to see if they could find any traces, but this time they had to try to figure out where the family had disappeared to. The asshole’s car was still parked nearby, so they didn’t leave without the child, and the couple thought it would be best to walk around the path for a short while, hoping to run into the family to tell the father where the missing child was. Thirty minutes passed, and there was no sign of the family, it seemed as if they were the only two people in the forest, or at least on the designated paths. Then it became a question of where the family was before they were “taken”, or whatever happened, because it would help to search the woods around that area, just in case they really were lost. Not too much time had passed, so hopefully they couldn’t have gotten too far, but the couple had trouble agreeing on a spot that they could have left the path at. And as they were walking around, causally debating the point of entry, Elliot had noticed drag marks and a wallet nearby, and he head realized a problem: there really may have been something dangerous in the woods, and if it was found and dealt with, then he would have to find another reason to not have children, without ruining the engagement. So he wondered if he should just ignore them, maybe cover them up and kick the wallet into the nearby bushes, but he had stared at it and took too long to reach a decision, and his fiance had noticed that he was focused on something, and shortly spotted what it was. “Jesus Christ”, she said, breathily, and it matched his thoughts completely. Turning to him, “Do you know what this means?” He wanted to say, ‘that we don’t have to start a family’, but he decided that it would be better to just nod instead, and added, “We need to be careful.” Replying with a nod, his fiance raised her rifle and began to enter the woods near the abduction site, while he half heartedly followed behind her. Shouldn’t he be happy that there was something in the forest, didn’t that mean that the job was officially too dangerous? So why was he unhappy? Even if they did end up killing whatever it was, whoever it was, then wouldn’t he be able to say ‘it happened once, it could happen again’? Mulling this over, lazily surveying the area around him, Elliot tried hard to make it seemed as if he was giving this dangerous situation his full attention. Then he realized that he wasn’t sure if some evil presence was enough to make her stop wanting to be a mother, she could decide to quit her job, she could find work elsewhere, because she may have wanted it too deeply, and why not? He had wanted their relationship to be so perfect that he was actually rooting for the bad guy, was hoping for something horrible to happen, so that they could continue to be perfect for each other. And didn’t that mean that they really weren’t perfect, wasn’t all of this- no. He shoved the thought down deep inside of himself, and just tried to replace it with the idea that it was proof that he loved her immensely, and true love could overcome any obstacle, no matter how unrealistic that actually was. So, when Elliot noticed a child's shoe, nearby on the ground, he stuffed it into his pocket, as an act of love. Based off of where he found the shoe, he figured that the family was probably somewhere to the east, so he said to his fiance, “I think we should look over that way”, and pointed to the west. She agreed, and they continued their search. However, they only had to take a couple steps before she tripped over something on the ground, that was hidden behind a bush. At first she figured that it was probably a rock, a log, a root sticking out of the ground, really anything other than what it really was, which was the father from earlier, who was breathing heavily, laying supine, and was desperately trying to keep his intestines inside of his body, trying to keep them clean, and just away from bugs. When Ellen turned around to see what she had caused her to fall, she let out a startled cry, causing Elliot to run up to see what it was, which lead him to yell, “Oh fuck”, mainly because he didn’t intend to go in the right direction, he didn’t want everything to start to wrap up this quickly. He only hoped that the fucker wouldn’t be able to talk. “My children”, the dying man had said weakly, “I couldn’t save them.” Leaning down to comfort him, forgiving him for being a shitty person, “What happened to your kids, what happened to you?” “They, we were walking along the path, everything was fine, I was showing them, I didn’t know. When it had, when it came out from the bushes I didn’t know what to do, it was… it cried, like a child it cried.” Elliot began to perk up at what he was hoping would be delusional nonsense, “No, no that’s wrong. It wasn’t it that was crying, it was my children, they cried when, when it came out.” Damn it. “It looked, it was a horrible thing, it was as if it was a person, but if that person was wearing a mask of itself, but it was also its face.” Much better. “In that moment it had been sweet, very sweetly, and I didn’t know what was happening, my children followed it in, it beckoned to them and they followed it. I tried to stop them but, but it.. It pulled, and it thrashed, and, and I had to pretend to, I had to play dead.” Tearing up, “I had to pretend that I was dead so that it would stop, I just wanted it to stop. I just let it walk off with them, I just wanted to see them leave, instead of, I didn’t..” “Your children, where are they, what direction did they go? Did the person hurt them?” Grabbing her forearm, “Look, they-”, his intestines spilled onto the ground and he winced in pain, but through gritted teeth he continued to talk, “You spend your whole life, you have to deal with the shit that your parents did to you. Scars don’t heal, that’s why they’re scars. You think, you want to be a good parent, you want to right the wrongs of what was done to you, so you take a shot at it, but it starts to be about yourself, not your kids. You start to get wrapped up in, you just want to be a good parent, but you want to be the good parent that you never had. You want to be that parent. You want to keep them safe, but, but-”, and, as if he was teasing Elliot, he died before he could tell Ellen how he felt that it was impossible to keep children safe. She made sure to close his eyes. “Should we bring him back to the station?” Elliot asked, hoping that they could leave for a while, that they could give the person enough time to do what it wanted to the kids, so that he could try to claim that the father was right, that you can’t guarantee your children’s safety, but she was determined to prove that wrong. “No time, let’s just mark a nearby tree so we’ll know where to find him. He’s dead anyways, there’s nothing that we can do, but from what he said it seems as if the kids can still be alive, we have to find them.” “But, uh, what about backup, didn’t it sound like-” “The man was delusional, he was hardly even conscious, and he wasn’t really that stable before he was attacked. Who knows what actually happened? It was probably just somebody with a knife, even if it could be a pretty big one from this cut, but you and I are decent shots, it doesn’t seem like its anything that we can’t handle, because we can handle anything.” “Yeah, we can handle anything.” And they set off into the woods, one hoping to find the children and prove that she would be a great caretaker, while the other hoped that the kids would be dead, to prove that they would be terrible caretakers. They searched for hours, even as the sun was beginning to set, because Ellen had to find those kids, she had to save them. Elliot’s words from earlier were eating away at her, because she felt that he was right, that they couldn’t have a family if they worked in such a place, and that they couldn’t work anywhere else without being happy, and her children would deserve happy parents, they didn’t deserve to had the same childhood she had, where her mother was bitter at life and began to blame Ellen for everything that was wrong with her life, for her alcoholism, for her depression, for the fact that her husband was never home, was probably out with other women, for the fact that she couldn’t decide if she wanted to be happy or supported. So, no matter what, Ellen had to save the kids, to prove that she could protect her own if anything like this could happen to them, to prove that she wouldn’t be a terrible mother. Eventually Elliot was having trouble hiding his lack of enthusiasm, so he decided to wonder away for a piss break, just so that he could at least swear under his breath. There was a gnawing feeling inside of him that they were close to the children, that they were still alive, and if that happened he didn’t know what he would do. They were supposed to be great together, they were the perfect couple, so why was she trying to ruin things by bringing kids into the mix? There was no way that he could raise any, and it wasn’t because he hated them or anything, it was because they would ruin the relationship. When you’re a parent, you have to give up a large chunk of your life just to raise them, it becomes a part of who you are. He loved Ellen, he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could, he didn’t want to have to share that time with anyone. And what would happen to their sex life? What if they started fighting all the time, over disagreements? His parents hated each other, and he always knew that it was because he was born, so he would never want to make the same mistake they did, and it made her determination seem as if she didn’t love him as much, because she wanted to ruin everything. After he had shaken and zipped up, he stared out into the trees ahead of him, pretending as if he was still pissing, just to have some time alone with his bitter thoughts. Then he noticed there were a lot of bugs around, a lot of flies, but when he looked around he noticed that there weren’t any around him, except for that spot. Curiosity got the best of him, and even though he knew what it could be, what he wanted to ignore, he had to know. Rifle in hand, slowly stepping towards it, a smile crept into Elliot’s face as he realized that the children could be dead, they could have been too late, and he had to suppress a shout of joy when he found out that he was right. Staring down into a pit in front of him, he could see the remains of the children, he wanted to laugh, but he ended up vomiting instead. The reality of it all began to sink in, he realized what he had been really staring at, what had happened in terms not related to his relationship, and he had to try to back away from it as quickly as he could, but even when the pit was no longer in view, when the buzzing was no longer deafening, he could still see it all when he would blink, it was as if the image was burned into the back of his eyelids. For a second time, he retched, but less came out. He started to sweat, started to shake, who the hell would do such a thing? He couldn’t even tell if they were the dead man’s children, because he never saw any whole bodies, only parts, a big, festering pit of parts. Some fresh, some rotting away. And whoever did that could be nearby, could probably do the same to him without batting an eye. For a third time, his body forced him to throw up, but there was nothing left, so he only dry heaved. “Elliot?” His fiance called to him, “Are you almost done? The suns almost down, its going to be harder to find them if its dark out, I don’t think I brought my flashlight.” Why was his face hot? Was he crying? Why did he have to look, why couldn’t he just have left it alone, just have known what it was and left it alone? Nobody should have to see something like that, nobody should have to go through such a horrible thing. “Are you taking a shit or something? We don’t have time for that, the circumstances are to dire for you not to hold that in.” He tried to speak, but it was difficult to get the words out, he couldn’t think of what he should say, how to respond to her. “Hello?” Through a feat of willpower, he was able to get himself to his feet, and stumbled away from the awful, godforsaken pit. When his fiance saw him approach, she was shocked by his appearance, he was pale and his uniform had vomit all over the shirt, but his hands were also shaking, and he seemed afraid of something in the distance, something that he didn’t know the location of.  Concerned, “What happened? Oh my, are you sick? Are you alright?” Her maternal instincts kicked in, and she got him to lay down, to rest, and to drink some water from her canteen. “Oh, honey, I didn’t know. Look, we can call it in. I’ll walk you back to the station, we can go home. If you caught something, there’s no reason to keep you out-” Inspiration came, and although it was far from his proudest idea, he knew what he had to do. He loved her too much, and he knew that he should just let her think that he was sick, and let her go as far away from there as they could ever get. Hell, maybe he should have the both of them transfer, to not let her be around when someone else inevitably found those children, but that’s only what he should have done, that’s what hindsight is for. Looking her in the eyes, he forced out the words, “I need to show you something.” Then getting to his feet, using his rifle as a crutch, “I need to, follow me.” And he took her in the direction of the pit, but when he wasn’t too far away, he stopped. She asked what it was, but he only pointed, and as she walked towards it he turned away, shut his eyes, and pressed his hand against his ears, desperate for it to start, just so that it could be over.

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