#i really need to stop writing full essays on tumblr

[koboldfactory]

Oh dear, I was sleeping when you needed asks to lift your spirits… I’m so sorry. However, I don’t think it’s too late to make you feel better. With that said, here’s a short essay on why you are an amazing artist deserving plenty of support and care.

First of all, your artistic skills is among the best I have ever seen. There’s no denying your character designs are stellar; from their wide range of body types to their intriguing backstory, they never get old. However, your creativity doesn’t stop here. It seeps on concept art and writing. I remember when I saw your desert concept art (with Rad on it) on Patreon; it was so good that I let out an audible “WOW!”. I know you haven’t published any concrete story, but the lore, world building and character backstory scattered in your posts got me hooked! I consider myself pretty picky when it comes to writing, but yours is among the only one I enjoy to the fullest.

Second of all, kobolds. Kobolds are great. Don’t you think kobolds are great? I love kobolds. Kobolds are amazing creatures: kobolds can yip, kobolds can scream, kobolds can run really fast, kobolds can roll really fast, and kobolds can kobold. I think kobolds should be admired. Kobolds are loyal to their Kobold-hoarding dragon, no matter what happens to the kobolds. Kobolds are such fascinating creatures. Did I tell you how much I love kobolds? Kobolds are great. Don’t you think kobolds are great? I love kobolds. Kobolds are amaz-

Last but not least… you (no, this isn’t some weirdo’s confession, please keep in mind it’s just platonic compliment from a fan). I don’t know you outside social media, but what I have seen on tumblr and twitter, I can tell you are an amazing individual. Despite being caught by adult life shenanigans, you still find time to defend your friend’s and other’s NSFW content from purists. You have so much stress burdened on your shoulders, yet I see you reblog/retweet fan art and write a compliment to artists. Your mental resilience is something to behold!

In conclusion, you are a wonderful person who deserves all the love and support. As mentioned previously, your creative characters, music, art and writing is something I and others inspire to achieve, and your ability to held your head on tempestuous waters is worth looking up upon. Finally, just so you know, most of us (your followers) will root you and your journey until the end of time, be it with money of praise.

May you have a wonderful December, full of joy.

PS: y’all should sub to her patreon, you won’t regret a single penny. Great WIPS, in-depth game-dev updates and glorious concept art!

But most importantly…

Giant Women

This is genuinely so heartfelt and sweet I don’t even know what to say. Like I do my best to make stuff I like and it’s not lost on me that a lot of other people like it too, but seeing stuff like this put into words has me all the more motivated and encouraged to keep making as much art as I can for as long as I can. Y’all are awesome for real. And thank you so much for all the support!!

#koboldasks #I AM reading all that.

[haechanhues]

KPOP FIC RECS

So I recently (like a couple of months ago) read Bowie’s Books by John O’Connell which is a series of essays exploring David Bowie’s list of 100 Books that transformed his life and I thought it was a way to make my own. These are all fics (in some way or another) that have been memorable in many different ways and I hope to share them with you all.

This is also a full on sap train so I thought you should be ready. I’m also weirdly nervous since this feels kind of vulnerable and makes me shy. but haiii

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE

1. @hyuckiebabie - Bad Intentions | NCT (discontinued) 

Of course, I have to start with this. I have to. I’ve also just learnt that author-nim has since left tumblr. But the writing was beautiful and the connection that Haechan and the MC had with each other was absolutely alluring. God I felt things I have never felt before. This was quite awhile ago and I’m kind of sad I can’t reread it to boost my memory a bit more but I was super excited for every update. But aww I wish you could all read it even though it was discontinued, it still remains very memorable for me. 

2.  @beom1e​ - Love Is Not Easy | TXT (completed)

The fic that made me obsess over TXT fics for a very large portion of the year. I read it again and it’s so chaotic and erratic in the best way. I love these boys with all my heart and it was so fun to be able to read it and connect to it. There were different endings that were all really fun. The very first time I was a very big Yeonjun supporter but nowadays I feel a more Beomgyu lean. Hmm, I don’t know. So many options. Can’t forget about Soobin either. The best kind of crossroad ever. 

3. @dovechim - That’s Okay That’s Love | BTS (ongoing)

No because I’m frustrated my original comments about this didn’t save. I remember reading this and it was the first time I had read something involving mental health so blatantly and it just felt oddly satisfying. What I liked the most about this fic however was the way that every character was interwoven within the story without the sole purpose of their existence to be a ‘friend’ to the main character and give advice and put some sense into them nor to invoke drama. I liked that they each have their own story and plot and it’s so majestically done that I always have to applaud this story for it.

4. @jayflrt - The A List | ENHYPEN (one-shot) 

Ahhh yes, I finally get to talk about this. This was one of the first ENHYPEN fics I read and it definitely helped me stan them to the level I did. I love the ....friendship between the MC and Jay. I love the taste of the whole fic in general - the rich people shit and the drama and the need to just not be made into a total loser by an anonymous source. I’m not even being dramatic but this fic has a taste and it’s absolutely fucking wonderful I’m salivating. 

5. @fantasybangtan​ - Queen Cobra | BTS (ongoing) 

One of my utmost favourite writers on Tumblr and in general. I love this story with all my heart and it made me a total * girl. This fic always manages to have a hook on me in more ways than one and I was so excited to see that a chapter has been updated since I last read it. I hope to god you never stop writing. Ever. Such a talented person and a very special one at that. I sound a bit like teachers comments in student reports and I’m sorry. But I hope you feel how sincere I am in my recommendations to read this fic. You have to. Absolute art. 

6.  @caramellohigh - Not Such A Good Boy | THE BOYZ (ongoing) 

This is my favourite depiction of Juyeon, like ever. I remember seeing three times before I actually read it. First it popped up in my dash just randomly, then it was recommended (not specifically to me) but I had been wanting to read a few fics. I thank whatever higher power exists for this fic. I can’t explain myself but like it’s so good. I love the whole golden sweet nice sunshine boy being this person who isn’t actually all that sunny and saintly trope. I don’t know the proper name for it but I loved this. I can’t wait for more chapters such an exciting fic, I couldn’t put this fic down for the life of me. I had a lot to do today but I didn’t do it because I was reading this hahaha best decision ever. 

7. @theluckyyyoneee​ - Antipode | EXO (completed) 

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THERE’S AN UPDATED CHAPTER, I’M GOING TO READ IT NOW. Okay okay I’m going back to writing normally so I don’t look like an idiot, but I love this fic with all my heart. So so warm. I love that Chanyeol is just a literal puppy throughout the fic. God I hope to see this couple again. In any way. I’ll take it. I remember I first read this when Chanyeol went to the military and reading the final chapter when he’s back literally feels like all is right with the world. I adore this couple. And with the risk of sounding cheesy as hell, this story smells of pine and appears like Christmas lights in the night and I think that’s the cutest fucking thing. 

8. @jungblue - Future Hearts | BTS (ongoing) 

I’ll be honest, before I came to Tumblr I always ignored recommendations for fan fics - simply because I had different tastes to the person giving the recs (they were a bit too much for me) and I just liked that fan fics were just my terrain to freely explore the fics available without in some form being attached to someone else (i was going through some shit obviously). Then this fic showed up and I took a chance on it. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I fell in love with writing all over again. I thought of colours differently. Everything. was just so different. I was super invested in the story. I would say it became so definitive of the person I was at eighteen, when life started changing. So thank you author-nim. From your forever fan <3 I hope all is well with you, you deserve the whole world y’know. 

9. @sankyeom - Break Your Rules | THE BOYZ (completed)  

Okay okay so, I love Sunwoo with my whole heart and one of my favourite tropes is brother’s best friend (disclaimer : it reflects to my life in no shape, way or form but we love a good ol’ forbidden love without the death involved) I first read this on my other account and it’s always one I seek out if I want a little thrill and a happy ending. Also the side characters are so fucking funny, I loved reading them. This fic is the treat your aunty tells you she shouldn’t be giving you but does anyway and you love her with your whole heart. So wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. 

10. @chittapornswife​ - DYNL Club | NCT (ongoing) 

A fic I’m forever fond of, I think. I always used to read this whenever I would go to class and it would keep me from having panic attacks. It would always leave me feeling fluffy and energised enough to get through an hour (or longer) class (and it wasn’t like the class was terrible, it just made me anxious.) I always link this fic to good things, or at least like it’s a bridge from being less than okay to recovery which is kind of ironic considering the content. It also has Haechan in it, which I’m thankful for. This story helped build my love for him in a way, I think. I’m truly grateful. 

11. @desayunho​ - Time Of Love | ATEEZ (completed) 

Oh my god it was a struggle deciding what fic to use but I decided on this one. It’s so beautiful. Oh my god I loved it. I read ‘Lovefool’ before this one and just knew that I had to hop on this train too. Lovefool blew me away and I knew it would happen with this one too. Absolutely after my own heart. I’m not one for poly fics (not against them either, I just don’t normally read them) but AHHH I’m screaming. The dynamic. The everything. This fic is everything. Thank you and good night. I love San and Wooyoung and ATEEZ AND author-nim, a special place in my heart is reserved for you and your artistry. 

12. @ballelino - Wedding Season | STRAY KIDS (completed) 

With the risk of sounding absolutely delusional, this fic helped me well and truly realise that I am never ever going to move on from Lee Minho. Like ever. The fic left me feeling very vulnerable but well protected? I don’t know how to form words but...  Everything was just perfect. Truly a foundation. It’s a fic I want to read for the first time again for the feelings I felt and the sensations I was going through. Truly a magical ride. I’m not even being sappy - this is me being totally brutally honest. I loved it for lack of better words. You know that question that goes ‘If the words ‘I love you’ didn’t exist what would you use?’...This fic. That’s it. My new love language. 

13. @thepixelelf - Hood | THE BOYZ (completed) 

This was well and truly a rollercoaster.. god I could remember it. I was on the edge of my seat every update. I loved the whole friendship and the back and forth. Ever since that first chapter it has been a favourite of mine and has remained one of my favourites since then. Also it was literally a year spent together with a fic and I don’t know why but this makes me feel more attached and feel more love for this fic even more. It’s beautiful and it’s literally like cuddling a teddy bear. I don’t know how else to describe it. If I could hug any fic it would be this one. Cause it deserves everyone’s high praises and I want someone to experience reading this fic to experience it and just tell me what they thought and we can go nuts over it. 

14. @seokjinsdisciple - Who’s Your Daddy | ATEEZ (ongoing) 

What a rollercoaster of events. These ATEEZ fics (not even just this one) has a special place in my heart but I’m here to talk about this one in particular. It’s so incredibly cute and angsty at the same time. Anything you ask for in a fic, you get it practically. It’s everything. It gives me everything. It gives me life. Seventeen chapters in and I've already tried finding a wizard to turn me into a puddle on the floor because I can’t cope. It’s absolutely brilliant. Ahhhh- also one of the authors to open the new door for me in terms of social media aus. I never thought I’d be into them but I really am and a large part is due to author-nim so thank you for this medium of storytelling and doing such a good job every single time. No misses. 

15. @aspenwritesstuff - Prove Me Wrong | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 

HOW COULD I NOT INCLUDE THIS. I can’t even remember how I came to read it but I remember reading it and being so hooked the very first chapter. I am also extremely affectionate of you, Aspen. This story and everything about it. I love it. It’s cute and fucking interesting and I’m just so hooked and excited I cannot wait to see how the rest of the story pans out. Like truly amazing. I’m going nuts over just thinking about it. Absolutely wonderful and just truly cute. I don’t know what else to say but it’s so cute. So fucking cute. Ahhhh. Just screaming and yelling and hollering at this point. LIKE YEAH THIS IS ME. THIS IS HOW EXCITED I CAN BE. Can’t wait, Aspen, honestly (take ur time tho <3) 

16. @gyukult​ - We Don’t Usually Hold Hands | SEVENTEEN (one-shot) 

So usually whenever I read Mingyu books I’m used to player Mingyu or sugar daddy esque-Mingyu who’s very cool. I’m not hating it. I still most likely would read it. But I never knew how much I needed a fic where I could actually see Mingyu in it and I think it’s perfect. I fell in love with this fic at first read and I think it’s actually changed the trajectory of my life forever. I’m not even being remotely funny. It really has. I don’t know - I loved the humour, I love just how casual the romance was. Like it felt so natural and just so Mingyu I don’t know what else to say without rambling. I feel like this fic is especially for those who don’t necessarily believe in romantic love, for those who do and in love with the idea of love and just everyone in between. So everyone basically. It’s a necessity. 

17. @kyufiber​ - How To Be A Heartbreaker | THE BOYZ (completed) 

God, I love this fic so much I don’t know what else to tell you. This is an Eric fic but it felt like more than just that. I’m a Sunwoo girl, have been from the very first video I saw of these guys but everyone just-. Let me tell you how PERFECT this fic is. It went exactly the way I wanted it but every update was a blessing and a gift. Like...is this music? No but I’m honestly always starstruck by this fic. I have no way of formulating proper sentences, it’s amazing. It’s so good. It’s so good. It’s honestly- GOD, especially if you’re an Eric person. This is for you. For all of you actually - read it! I’m begging with my whole chest, my whole soul, everything about me that is me - read it. 

18. @starrgaziinggg​ - Friends With Benefits | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 

I can’t remember exactly remember the 6 W’s of how, where, when I found this fic. But all I remember is that it was a god send during my Minho phase (that is still in fact going, don’t get me wrong). Every new update is so fucking fun for me and definitely has me all up in there. I love this version of Minho. It’s one of my favourites. Absolutely. This fic has been a newfound love of mine and I’ve enjoyed falling in love with it every single chapter and I know that won’t ever change. I’m a bit speechless I don’t know what to say, currently I’m looking at it and I’m so excited to talk about it but all I am right now is a blubbering mess that can’t string two words together to make a single sentence. But I really appreciate this fic and I can’t wait for more updates! <3 

19. @wooyunhwa​ - Kingdom Of Welcome Addiction | ATEEZ (ongoing) 

Although it’s been a couple of years since the last update, I am still going to praise and praise this fic as if it’s my sole purpose in life. I love the way the characters are and how there’s a whole world away from everyone else - as if its just the three of them in this demon vs angel love affair. Don’t even get me started on the writing - it’s so beautiful, detailed and I love how humour is incorporated into it. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It surprised me so much in such little but significant ways that I think sets apart this fic from others like it. Truly. 

20. @yeow6n - boyfriend!haechan tiktok series | NCT (ongoing) 

Ahhh my current go-to Haechan fic writer. God, I’m in love. Have you ever felt a connection with someone you haven’t talked to or anything but because you share that one thing you’re in it for life? This is it my friends. This. Every fic I’ve read is a love of mine and I’m so excited to write about it. They’re usually short and sharp but incredibly sweet and it just- it makes loving Donghyuck easier. Honestly author-nim came in at the right time and totally swept me off my feet. In love with it. In love with him. Stan author-nim for good Haechan content. Honestly I feel like calling you bestie which is one hundred percent out of character for me so I won’t - but I just want to let you know that the temptation was there and it was a strong one! 

#kpop fic #kpop fic rec #nct fic #nct fic rec #ateez fic #ateez fic rec #stray kids fic #stray kids fic rec #the boyz fic #the boyz fic rec #seventeen fic #seventeen fic rec #exo fic #exo fic rec #bts fic #bts fic rec #enhypen fic #enhypen fic rec #txt fic #txt fic rec #tomorrow x together fic #tomorrow x together fic rec

[lakesbian]

Dearest Aisha, I hope this letter finds you well on this horrible sunny day. I’m leaving you this message because my heart is twisted in twain, and you must know that it’s not you, it’s me. What we had was wonderful, but alas, my future in the Bay is either woefully short or non-existent and as such I must bid you adieu. Or in plain English, I’m leaving because this whole plan Glory and Taylor cooked up isn’t my thing and would just put a target on my back. Maybe things would’ve been different if we weren’t pulling up the curtain, but oh well. Try not to be too upset about it. I left the playstation behind, and feel free to save over my old files. Say bye to the others for me, just don’t be too mushy about it. -Alec.

JESUS. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK HE TALKS LIKE THIS. alec wouldnt say bid you adieu if you paid him. or Twain. or Dearest Aisha. oh my god hed gag before saying dearest aisha. hang on we need a full count off of the sins here

the base premise that he didn't discuss his feelings about victoria and taylor's plan with aisha beforehand is absurd--they're extremely communicative with each other

the base premise that taylor would go along with anything victoria cop dallon said in the first place is insane and makes me want to see the person op thinks victoria is killed badly by bugs

the base premise that Aisha is fine with victoria cop dallon's plans instead of going "alec isnt this fucking sucks." is insane.

the base premise that alec is the only undersider not okay with victoria cop dallon's plans is also insane. I'm going to be real with you they would kill her immediately and without hesitation for alec and they dont even like him that much.

again, it's absurd to act as if aisha and alec are noncommunicative enough that he would drop this on her as opposed to telling her he was considering leaving off the bat. also i think she has enough wrong with her that she would want to go with him. but i digress, that's besides the point because

alec would not want to leave without aisha in the first place. people latch on so hard to him casually suggesting leaving the undersiders in that one early chapter but like. he's doing that bc it's in the context of a hypothetical scenario where his dad is getting after him. he always unequivocally backs them & follows their lead when they get into Shit That Is Not About Him--he's just both not wanting 2 burden the undersiders w/ having 2 deal w/ his dad + assuming that they wouldn't necessarily Want to help. once they say they would help he's like. oh ok. and this is certainly the last time he ever even considers leaving. those are the only ppl he has he's not walking his ass out of there. he Thinks he doesn't care but in any situation where he's at risk of exiting or losing one of them he leans HARD into backing them up. e.g. knocking himself unconscious to help brian sacrificing himself for aisha suggesting leaving town As A Team when the s9 is there and explicitly mentioning stopping to pick up rachel first. his actions demonstrate how he feels even if he isnt consciously aware of it. this entire situation is cartoonishly implausible but even if it did happen he would just not react this way

anyway the fic literally just ends like this.

A/N: And so the curtain rises. Or sets? Maybe it’s an interlude? Or a intermission? I didn’t really think this metaphor through. Writing Alec is hard, but I’m hoping I managed well here. No, this is not an elaborate rug pull or “oh he shows up later”. Alec is gone. He doesn’t show up for the rest of the story. And the reasoning for that should be laid out pretty clearly here. Maybe in another world, where Tori and Taylor resolved the communication issue before this point, they could’ve had that conversation. But they didn’t and he didn’t. So the only way out was out. Alec was never going to be willing to unmask. And with that knowledge, what happened last chapter should be a lot clearer. Today’s rec is an essay on Alec’s Costume by ewingstan on Tumblr, which does an excellent job breaking down his character in terms of psychology and code switching between his cape self and who he is regularly. Or rather, how there’s not much difference at all. I’ll see you all next week.

YOU DID NOT MANAGE WELL. HOW ARE YOU READING AND LINKING GOOD ALEC POSTS (albeit ones i had a bit 2 expand on but like. Its a good post it stands on its own.) but not internalizing Any Of Them. my god. this is so funny. there he goes fucking off into the sunset leaving literally his entire life behind because op understands nothing about him. resti n peace boy. ok thus concludes my Complaining. i'd apologize but its my blog and i can do what i want forever

#worm spoilers #scarf don't look

[decentgarbage]

hai i wanted to write you a short thing for the letters asks but i blacked out and when i came to i was staring at the tumblr equipment of my super long essay for literature class (/ref) so.

"miiiitsuba! i heard you weren't feeling well. are you nauseous again? amane once told me that licking a pinch of salt when you're feeling nauseous can help! he said it'll either make you go ahead and throw up, or it can make the urge to throw up go away. if you've got a headache, i can help with that, too. have you eaten and had something to drink? dehydration and hunger can make your head hurt— did you know that? oh, but if you did eat and you did have water but you still have a headache, it might be stress. you should take a minute or two to just close your eyes and breathe, maybe. it might help you relax a little. also, tylenol, maybe.

if you're not sick, are you upset in some way? sad? angry? either way, it's okay. you're allowed to be sad and angry. i won't ask what you're upset about here, since it's a public platform and some things are better asked in private, but you can talk to me if you need to. plus, you've been through a lot, y'know? it's natural to be sad or angry when you've been through as much as you have. you're always so hard on yourself. you might not say it out loud, but i can tell. you don't have to beat yourself up for feeling bad things or struggling to cope. it's okay to be upset when things are unfair. plus, you're still a kid, too, so it's natural that you'd get overwhelmed with stuff!

you're doing a great job, and i'm really proud of you for making it this far even though it was really hard. your efforts are definitely not going unnoticed! you should be proud of yourself, too. think about it — you're fifteen, right? that's fifteen years, so 180 months or 5475 days, i think. that's a lot of time! you've worked so hard to make it to this point. i know i can't magically make everything perfect for you, since that's just.. not how the world works, i mean, no one is just happy forever as life is unpredictable and bad things happen unexpectedly, but the least i can do is acknowledge how much you've gone through and how hard you've worked to get here, so i'm proud of you. i think people should praise you more, you deserve it!

please try not to stress yourself out so much over the little things. i know it's hard not to, so if you ever do find yourself stressing over it, you can always ask me for help, for comfort, for advice, or you can just vent and i'll be there to listen. you're not pathetic for letting your grades slip, you're not worthless for making a mistake, and you're not a bad person for going against your family's religion, or any of that. also, i know you might not be insecure about it, but there's nothing wrong with you being nonbinary or for being that super secret orientation you told me about recently (that i'm not going to state here for your comfort), either! you're your own person, you have your own thoughts and opinions and feelings, and it's up to you to decide what to do with that. you don't have to change yourself for anyone's comfort, and you don't have to force yourself to believe in something you feel isn't right for you. it's okay to make mistakes, and it's okay to be wrong sometimes. nobody is perfect— if anyone was perfect, don't you think others would follow in their footsteps and everything would be fine? garden of eden right on earth, right? try not to put perfection on a pedestal; you're trying your best, and that's enough.

don't let anyone make you feel bad for being who you are personality-wise, either, okay? no two people are the same— even identical twins! if everyone on earth were the exact same, the world would be very, very boring. don't you think so? plus, this world is full of bitter people who live miserable lives and take their hatred out on others, so do try to pay them no mind. don't let anyone stop you from living your life how you want.

and i know sometimes it's hard to process things, so if you need a distraction or something, i can help with that! like, did you know the heaviest train ever recorded weighed 99,734 tons? isn't that cool? that's, like, over 198,000,000 pounds. the average person only weighs between 199 pounds and 170, depending on sex and age, so that train was obviously suuuper heavy. the train operated 170 miles with 682 loaded iron ore cars, and the train itself was super long, too– it measured 4.57 miles in length!

anyways. i do believe i've rambled enough, so i'll get out of your hair now. i hope yesterday was good for you, and that today is nice to you, and that tomorrow you magically gain four million dollars— spend wisely, please, and save some for later! i miss you a great deal, and i love you a lot! pay me a visit soon; you know where to find me ♡

- tsukasa, with lots of love (and a hamster, some lint, and natsuhiko's toupee in my pocket)"

um. this might not make any sense but in my defense i was playing genshin while writing so Yeah 👍

UFJRJRDJRGITGJHHHHJ

(Btw if anyone is confused why it says “Mitsuba” I also go by Mitsuba QwQ)

#CRYING AND GIGGLING #I LOVED THIS SM #:3 #THANK YOUUUU #self ship #Lane needs to shut up #🦇: be mine…forever!

[modern-oedipus]

Trying to write Chapter 20 of Conflict today and it is literally giving me chest pain. I did my best to continue it last year, even did a full reread, but recalling those times was taking a toll on my mental health so I stopped. But this year I want to try again. I actually want to keep going, but recalling Ray's mindset- or more like my mindset from back then is really triggering and emotionally exhausting for me because I was not in a good headspace (ironically, I thought I was doing fine, until I healed and realized it wasn't fine at all) but... like... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LITERALLY JUST CANT OKAY I DONT CARE IF I HAVENT UPDATED IN ALMOST 3 YEARS, FINISHING CONFLICT UNTIL THE PLOTTED FINAL IS A SELF RESPECT THING AND I WANT TO DO IT ITS LIKE I LITERALLY WANT TO DO IT I W A N T TO DO IT

I feel too tired to elaborate the details on an essay, but after a lengthy self-reflecting I also decided (along with my therapist, even though I didn't mention Conflict specifically) to CONFRONT triggers. She said that at this point, it is good for me to be triggered even, because it means I am actually being exposed to the unresolved trauma and now I am psychologically stronger to resolve it rather than avoid it.

I am sick of avoiding what happened to me back then. I wanted to write Conflict until the end for its own meaning as well, but now it is even more important that I try to write things- for the sake of moving forward with life. I know this random tumblr post after so many years doesn't provide context or make sense but. I really need to move forward. I am also bored of leaving my fics halfway. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i will do my best to write the chapter this week

#tpn #tpn ray #tpn norman #norray #ao3 #writing #tw depression #tw triggers #vent post

[claudiathegremlin]

okay, i need to spit this out to someone

and i refuse to make a youtube video for it so im just gonna write a whole essay to my small amount of tumblr followers on prince arctic and also im waiting for my friend to wake up so i need to do something RIGHT NOW so uh

lets start with the reasons that could've played a part in how he acted

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀

so, arctic's family wasnt that great, we've all gathered that. his mother was just horrid honestly, and we have no idea how his father was (or if he even had one). diamond could've been better, and im sure the way she treated him and the things she expected of him were a definite cause, albeit not a full one. another cause was definitely his animus magic, but also cant really be the main cause, even though it was probably a major one. (heres a brief note on animus magic, atleast, my theory on it that is- animus magic isnt the full cause of dragons going insane, its how they view it, use it,how often they use it, and other things going on in their life. lets say we have an animus dragon, a funky little sandwing that for the purposes of this sidenote, will be called funkmaster. funkmaster isnt too concerned about their soul, has been through alot, and uses his magic to cause suffering to small animals quite frequently. funkmaster has gone insane because he uses his magic poorly, isnt concerned about his soul, and uses his magic to be a bastard. funkmaster is the negative result of animus magic. whereas, lets say we have a cute little adorable seawing named tappytoes. tappytoes cares about his soul, has still been through some stuff, but has a positive outlook still, and uses his magic only when he needs to, and only for good things. tappytoes is not a maniac. sidenote over) i do genuinely believe that yes, he did at one point love his family (even darkstalker, albeit not as long as the others), and he did genuinely wish he was a better father, but he had been too far gone for that to have lasted long.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩

now, while it is sort of difficult to figure out where everything started to go down hill, i do believe it was shortly after darkstalker and whiteout were hatched. he knew darkstalker had inheritted his animus magic, and assuming he knew that nightwings have powers from being born under the full moons, he also knew of the power he possessed. now, this wasnt the breaking point entirely. arctic now had the pressure of being a father, (which, yk, who knows if he even got to know his) and had probably used his animus magic a few times after foeslayer got him out of the ice kingdom. i have no concrete idea on what these times could've been, but possibly some things for foeslayer. even if they werent horrid things, and he cared about his soul, other factors also played into the animus causes of the insanity. by this time it was already too late, and he just snapped. he fully had lost himself from that point forward, and there was no going back anymore. the only point where i really think there was maybe a chance he hadnt completely gone over the fence was when he was bringing whiteout to the ice kingdom to get accepted back into their society and to get foeslayer back (i think?? its been a while since my last reread, i had to stop myself from rereading it because it just made me sad), which mayyy have been him just wanting to go back to how everything was before he had a family but could have also just been him wanting foeslayer back because he did actually still love her. anywho these are just my thoughts, there are probably a bunch of inaccuracies, im tired, and i dont feel like rereading the entire book just to make a tumblr post, have fun and dont die

#hashtag i am tired #send help #wings of fire #please dont kill me for anything that doesent make sense or is innacurate im tired #wof #wings of fire arctic #wings of fire prince arctic #prince arctic #prince arctic wof #arctic wof

[writing-for-life]

The Pitfalls of Lazy Writing in Fan-Fiction

I love fan-fiction. I really do. I occasionally write some myself when I want to totally let loose. I actually write one right now for NaNoWriMo because this year, I just need some breathing space and fun instead of pushing ahead with my WiPs: You can’t pour from an empty cup and all that…

I actually think writing fanfic is good for writers because we can just enjoy the writing process without caring about tropes, and a world has already been built for us. We also don’t need to worry about Mary Sues/Gary Stus and self-insertion of the more obvious kind. It’s just fun, and the audience is generally appreciative because we share a common interest. Last but not least, it can get you out of writer’s block because there are far fewer rules to adhere to (and there’s nothing wrong with occasionally breaking rules, but like Picasso said: “Learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist”).

Having said all of this: If you are publishing your fanfics anywhere, even if it’s just on Tumblr, CARE about your work to at least a basic degree. I honestly believe that fanfic often still has such a bad reputation because many works lack that basic amount of care.

To make this clear: You don’t need to set out to create a masterpiece (what is that even?). Have fun with your writing. Don’t get into your head too much. Don’t censor yourself - there will be people out there who love your writing. Just care. And doing something as simple as getting rid of typos is caring - also for your audience.

Proofread

It doesn’t have to be a massive editing process, that’s not what most fanfic needs. However, if your work is full of typos, bad grammar and sentences that make no sense because they’re half finished or trail off into nothingness, it’s so, so off-putting. It makes me want to stop reading immediately, and that’s a crying shame because your ideas might otherwise be good. We are not talking about writing in a second language – I grew up bilingually and feel perpetually caught in “awkward-sentence-construction-hell” because of it. You might want to consider writing in your mother tongue instead if that’s the case. We are also not talking about the odd typo that slips through – it happens to all of us. I really talk about the fanfics that are absolutely riddled with them. Care – about more than just getting stuff out quickly.

Show, Don’t Tell

Don’t tell all the time. It reads like an instruction manual or an essay. If you are a very young and/or inexperienced writer, and you do not yet know what “Show, don’t tell” means, that’s okay. Look it up, try it out. It’s a process, it takes time. I sometimes still tell, too, even after all these years: It’s often just so much easier and faster. And if you do it sometimes, it’s honestly okay. What I read out there are literal walls of telling though. Practise showing – it will elevate your writing tenfold.

POV and Omniscience

A second person character (the “Y/N” we typically see in self-insertion fanfic) is NOT omniscient (very few exceptions aside, but the fanfics I read on here and elsewhere hardly ever fall into this category). Learn to be consistent with your POV: A second person MC does NOT know what goes on in other characters’ heads. They do NOT feel what everyone else is feeling. They do NOT know what the other person was up to in their absence. If you want to write these things, choose third person omniscient. Otherwise, don’t write them. They’re probably not that important, especially if your fiction is short. Simply leaving them out will improve your flow.

If they **are**important, we move on to…

Figure Out Your Beats

If there aren’t any or they are too far apart, it’s boring. If they come in too quickly, there’s no tension because there’s too much tension, if you get my drift. Even if you’re itching to get to a certain part of your story – pace yourself. If I read “two months ago, she did this, one month ago, she did that, last week…” my eyes start to glaze over. Ask yourself if that info is really necessary. If it is, write it out, build those scenes and split up your work. Learn to be patient, and your audience will become patient with you. Having to wait is good :)

I’m not a particularly patient writer and definitely more of a pantser than a plotter. I usually have strong images/scenes in my head. It’s okay to write them first and connect them later. It’s a different type of creating, but you will figure out your process with time.

Do Some Basic Research

No one expects fanfic to be hyperrealistic, but if it is set in the real world, care about figuring out things you do not yet know. Make an effort to find out how they work. If you don’t, a reader with a bit of life (or any particular) experience will immediately go: “That’s not how it works”. If you, as an example, write about pregnancies and don’t even do the most basic research on how physician appointments work, what happens when (you don’t know the baby’s sex after a couple of weeks), a woman who’s ever been pregnant will immediately go “Yeah, but no”. Writers LIVE for doing research. If research isn’t your thing, write about things you do know and understand. If your characters move in a realistic world, your writing has to reflect that.

Learn to Love Criticism

You read that right.

I obviously don’t mean the bad, troll-kind of criticism that’s just out to hurt you. That’s just gross, and I honestly do not understand how some people can be so mean. But if you are asking for opinions, take that advice. If you feel it doesn’t help your confidence, that’s also okay – then don’t ask for opinions or criticism. Keep in mind though that you won’t learn that way. If you ask for opinions, you need to accept that people will be honest.

And a word to readers/audiences as well:

You are not helping a writer if you say their work is amazing if it isn’t, and you are aware of it. Empathy is great, but just like a true friend tells you the truth, someone who believes in you and wants to see you grow will do the same. You can still enjoy it someone’s work with all its flaws, and you can let them know you do. But if you are ganging up on everyone who offers an opinion in an effort to “protect” your author, you keep them stuck. Stop being tribal - true support means helping people to get better at what they do.

#writers #writerscommunity #writing advice #fanfic #fanfiction #lazy writing #writeblr #writer problems #fanfic writer #writing

[that-hippie-user]

hedonism as a means of healing

seems tumblr sh@dowbans posts involving w33d in the tags, so let’s try this again, sft style

yesterday i achieved ego d34th and entered a state of animalistic bliss without fear. i became fully freed of all my worries, and developed a new leese on life

i’ve always been a hedonism in practice, agreeing that pleasure seeking is an ideal way of living when done within reason. no other philosophy is as succinct and easy to argue as “pleasure good, pain bad.” but until now my own depression and self loathing had twisted that mindset into an unhealthy one.

i was content to, as my therapist put it, lie on the ground and be miserable. because it may hurt, but it’s easier than taking risks.

anyone who knows me knows that’s no secret. yes, i’m on disability for legit reasons, i got ptsd, autism, panic anxiety, among several other things which prove i’m not ready for the workplace. that much is true and the diagnosis have already been made. but i can’t deny it’s been a massive weight off my shoulders to not have to work. by the end of highschool, i became so dissolutioned with capitalism that i actually considered joining a group home to get away from my family and not have to be employed. literally i was willing to sacrifice personal freedoms for the sake of a miserable safe space. i’m glad i didn’t go through with it, that would’ve been hellish for me

but the problem with embracing base pleasures and avoiding uncomfortable risks, is that i conditioned myself to waste away into nothing. letting my ai roommate (the youtube algorithm) decide my entertainment all day every day, laying in bed binging leftist video essays, game reviews, and niche indie music as if ANY of that would give personal fulfilment.

i avoided painting despite my legit talent for it, i avoid guitar lessons despite investing in a decent starter guitar and lessons being free, i avoid learning game design despite Unreal Engine 5 being FREE and free assets being given away every month on the Unreal storefront. literally i can buy, and have bought, premade assets that bestow full freedom with minimal effort to make my own games with assets that are easy to rearange and rework, yet i do nothing.

i have this idea in me that i’m some kind of genius, that fame and fortune are already set for me, and that someday in some vague future i’m going to end up beloved by all for my achievements.

and i LOVE getting praise. somehow i get gender euphoria from being called a game designer, or any other fancy title. if i was a beloved novelist, game dev, musician, heck ALL these things, my transition would be complete. i’m beautiful when people recognize my talent.

but that’s just it. i like results, i like when i have something finished and can show it off. but i HATE the learning process. writing comes easy to me because i’ve got years of practice from fanfic and essay writing in highschool. but music? games? art? i don’t have definitive results to tell me i’m good enough to persue those things. writing is easy cuz as long as you can string together some nice words in a good order, the work is good. comprehensive knowledge on english is all you really need as a baseline for writing. do it right and you can SEE genius on the page in front of you. but game design takes programming and troubleshooting, art takes mountains of bad sketches before you see the good stuff, music takes hearing yourself fumble with an instrument until you get something good.

art, in all its forms, is built on a MOUNTAIN of garbage. name any artist you look up to, they’re bound to have some shit work from their early days.

but yesterday, i got st0ned. i let go of all my worries and fears and achieved complete and full embrace of human id, and knew what it truly was to stop second guessing myself. and now i have a new lease on life.

youtube, gone. deleted and replaced with youtube music. i can watch essays on my tv while i eat bekfast. but during the day? when i have stuff i can do? i want ALBUMS. i want albums and nothing BUT albums reccomended to me on the regular. i don’t wanna have to deal with the bullshit of ENDLESS essays to detract me from my work. i may as well be shoving potato chips and twinkies into my gullet till my stomach aches for all the good it would do me. the youtube algorithm is a curse that destroys your ability to create.

i’m still autistic, i still need SOMETHING to occupy my headphones while i do stuff. so i’m getting the app that gives nothing but music.

i was paying for youtube red anyway, i use mobile for the most part and can’t easily install adblock on my phone, so i get premium access to youtube music by default. might as well use it.

my lesson, to whoever may be reading, is thusly: EMBRACE IMPULSE. dare i say, get STOOPID.

i congratulate my romantic partners every time they misspell or mispronounce something. know why? because humans are beautiful and so are our mistakes. if you’re neurodivergent, chances are you’ve spent your whole life being put down by authority figures telling you you “don’t work hard enough” or are “too lazy” dogging on you for every mistake you make. well FAWK THAT.

i say this now because you likely don’t hear it enough. I’M PROUD OF YOU.

let your mistakes flow freely, your genius is somewhere inside of it. embrace your impulses no matter how insane they may sound, and that means embracing whatever hobby or hyperfixation you get that month, LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT HESITATION OR SHAME.

here’s a maxim for you. BE MORE BOLD. because the bigots and morons of the world get stronger every time you beat yourself down for them. YOU are strong. stronger than you know. so prove it.

cringe culture is dead, life is too short to worry about wether your place in it is significant, wether you exist or not means nothing next to what you do with yourself, and you CAN get out of bed and do something, if you address the things that are leaving you miserable in the first place and find passions to follow.

i write this ramble/essay on a keyboard built by me. her name is Eva. Eva is a beautiful purple and green 65% gasket mounted keyboard with ASA keycaps, modded with electrical tape, polyethaline foam, and fitted with custom switches lubed by hand. it is the product of years of research, obsession, craft refinement, and embrace of cringe.

i divined this keyboard in a fanfic i wrote for my own entertainment, and diving headfirst into cringe i built it and made it my main.

her name is Eva because of the Evangeleon Eva-01 keycaps i chose for her, she’s neurodivergent cuz she has LED lights that don’t always function like they should, and she’s trans cuz she’s had trans affirming surgery (mods to the top and bottom of the pcb) and voice training (parts assembled in such a way to achieve a WONDERFUL sound profile)

i made this. i did this through my own hardwork and effort, and it’s paid off.

and now, i’m gonna write my magnum opus, work on making my first game, dedicate the year to learning guitar, listen to LOTS of new music while i do, avoid the brainrot of 24/7 essays, and become the jack of all trades genious i wanna be.

i have chronic clinical depression. i’m in pain. i cry at night and lie in bed wondering if i’m worth anything in this world.

and i. can. do this.

you can to.

#wholesome #life advice #advice #depression #ptsd #autism #autistic #actually autistic #actually autism #cringe culture is dead #longpost #long post #motivational #encouraging #growth #be yourself #i believe in you #positive #optimism #i love you guys #good luck #lgbt

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

I LOVE LOVE LOVEE the reunion between Rhaenyra and Babey. It’s so cute and heartwarming when they communicate. When Babey said

“talk to me. Stop shutting me out. I can handle it, I’m old enough now–”

It really holds very true to their particular brand of sisterhood. I’m not a younger sister so I can’t relate specifically but the line still hit me.

Babey really knows her Daddy Daemon, each chapter you reiterate how they’re such a perfect match honestly. Babey is his good influence 😂

Mmm Daemon unlocked a new kink haha ✅🍼 I feel like this has been long awaited by many of your readers hehehe 👀

Thank you for answering all my questions in the last ask lol. In the next season I hope the give us more dragon scenes, more fighting and fire breathing scenes specifically 🥺🥺🙏 It’s called House of the Dragon HBO. As much as I love watching unhinged individuals I want more dragonsss. Although it must cost a lot in cgi

Surprisingly Babey’s cravings don’t seem gross, they’re pretty tame and actually sound kinda good? Like I’d eat them all except for the full pot of honey. I thought she’d be asking for way crazier food combos.

Uni update: I’m on Easter break but I’m still getting emails about grades cause my profs are just mean like that lol. I was 0.5 points away from an A on an essay and the prof didn’t round up so I’m mad at them.

Random question: What’s your take on why some fans of HOTD strive to make their faves seem “good” or excuse their actions as “oh they had some trauma”? What’s the obsession with “defending faves”, UR FAVE IS A GASLIGHTING CRIMINAL AND YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF THEM. Accept that everyone is morally grey/complex and interesting except Larys, fucking hate him and just enjoy the drama and derangement. It’s a fiction show at the end of the day. This is mostly based on tiktok discourse but I do sometimes see it on tumblr too

Always remember to put yourself first and take some rest and relaxation! Thank you so much for the chapter! You deserve all the good karma and positive interactions 🫶🏻💖💖💖

-💎

AAAAAAH, hello, 💎!!!!! I hope you're doing well!

I'm thrilled you enjoyed the Rhaenyra-Babey reunion scene! I wanted there to be a work-through that wasn't aggro but still packed the punch it needed to, so I hope that works out how I intended.

DAEMON IS GROTTY and we all love that for him, tbh. He's a horny ol' peepaw. I stan.

I NEED MORE DRAGONS, I swear. Not even just from a writing point, because it makes it fucking hard to write interactions with dragons with limited source material, HBO!!!! But I wanna see what the dragons can do, manoeuvre-wise. I imagine we're about to get a good look at warfare on dragonback, or I hope we will. Come OOOON, guys, GIMME DRAGONS!!!!

Babey's gonna escalate to something a little weirder in terms of cravings next chapter, haha. But mostly - thank gosh - she's not completely gross. Maybe I'll revisit this in another pregnancy - just truly heinous cravings, and Daemon's all "what the fuck evil spawn is in you????"

Ugh, your professor's a grade-B BITCH. You tell 'em I told you that. They ain't grade-A because apparently they don't know what an A is, so HA! B-grade. I am sure your essay was a work of fucking art, so they can suck my fat dick. (Um, my encouragement is a bit... aggressive. You got this, booski.)

To answer your question: short form, people suck, lol. I think there's a stunning lack of critical thinking among the general population, probably because of inconsistent schooling. There's a conversation to be had about standardisation globally insofar as this is possible (i.e. language barriers), because the disparity between nations can be whack. (I'm not exactly endorsing standardisation as that has its own pitfalls, but like - there needs to be some sort of benchmark, for fuck sake.) People don't know how to rationalise liking a character that is deeply flawed because they lack the ability to separate that from their own moral code; they think liking a 'bad' character makes them 'bad', very loosely. Also, people just generally suck and like to start fights because it's in our nature to be anarchist fuckwads, etc. Lol, my faith in humanity is shining through!

I am doing EXCELLENT, 💎, never fear. The next chapter is coming out very soon! Thank you so so so much for your support, it means the WORLD TO MEEEEE!

#fanfiction comments

[aelaer]

Thanks for answering that last ask, lol. I half-expected you were going to ignore it tbh. I was hesitating when I wanted to send the ask, bcs, well, duh. It's controversial af lol. Just wanted to let ya know that you're not the only one with that view. (Great minds alike, am I right?) So please don't stop. Really.

This is gonna be a bit of a rant, and if you feel the need not to answer this ask, due to the fear of causing controversy in your blog, I 100% understand. Dunno if tumblr will cut off my ask so i'm hoping this is sent in its full-form.

I honestly agree that Tony gets maybe a *bit* too much spotlight (especially after the CACW shit and fans picking team tony/steve), and I hate that Stephen is just used as a plot device. I don't get why exaggerating a char's innocence is a good thing. Especially if they put other characters *too* antagonised and spiteful. It's petty. And putting another character in it (refer this as Stephen) as a plot device to make the main char more angelic is just.... idk. I'm only using rather insensitive words bcs I'm on anon ngl hahahahah.

Which is why, when I found your ao3 profile, I felt like you saved my life. Cus like. Idk. It's rare to find fics alike. Not really good with words so yeah.

Also thanks sm for tagging your fics properly, lest I wouldn't have found your works.

Ik some authors who share the same idea with the matter, but either they wanted to reach a wider fanbase by venturing into ships and fulfilling people's cravings (that require an ooc stephen, wince), or they simply don't have the writing capabilities to match their intentions -- like you do -- yet, I'm not so sure.

So basically yeah. Binge read your works this week. You're doing super great. Please keep going or else I would've probably never been here in the first place.

Fucking love your works. Don't hate on me for this if you happen to find it irrational ;-; Though if you do, I'm honestly interested with what you think. Sorry for sending a long ass ask.

Hey it's all chill, my anon friend. I really try not to hate on folks, even when I don't agree with everything they say or do. The world needs more empathy after all. And you've done nothing wrong in this ask here.

I personally don't ignore asks. It may take a month or two to get to some as it has in the past during busy or bad seasons, but I get to them. (I also don't get a ton so they're easy to answer haha.) The only ones not answered are short fic prompts that have taken me over 2 years to get to, which I'd like to finish eventually... some day.

I expanded on the topic about other characters in the last ask so I won't get into it again here, but I will say that unfortunately Stephen is not a terribly popular character compared to many other MCU characters like Tony, Bucky, and Loki. It makes finding fic starring him very challenging. He's also a difficult character to write well, though I applaud folks for trying, truly. It's great when people challenge themselves and don't let the fear of failure or judgement keep them from trying.

Anyone who hasn't written Stephen because they're not sure how to write him, or have written him but aren't confident with their writing of him, I recommend rewatching his origin film in particular as that's often forgotten for what we saw in IW and Endgame. There's also some good video essays about the character on YouTube. Some fanfic of him is good, while others are very bad, so it's a hit or miss there. One shot character pieces that are not concentrating on a ship tend to be more reliable, in my experience, for a better character analysis because the goal of the piece as a one shot is more a character study, and without the romance you aren't looking at the character as part of a unit. You need to know the character before you study how he works as a romantic partner, IMO.

I'm hoping his film helps his popularity, but I do have some fears that it will be drowned out a bit by Wanda. We'll have to see what happens on AO3 in particular, which is where my primary fandom interest lies in this case. I really, really want to see fic that isn't just reader inserts. Totally legit fanfic, but romance is already not my cup of tea and, if they aren't just smut pieces, those tend to be caretaker-Stephen fics which are a dime a dozen with his fics with Tony and Peter. So yeah, hopefully there will be more variety in the coming weeks. Of the action/adventure/drama type. A girl can dream.

I'm thrilled you like my writing. And also my tagging, some of the tagging is very hard to complete with some of the one shots xD but seriously, you're sweet. And you're good. Don't sweat it ❤️

#stephen strange #mcu #ask #answered #anonymous #writing advice #fanfic

[onewomancitadel]

Hang on I need to make a passive aggressive post about someone in another fandom saying TikTok (puke) is a more accessible platform for spreading fandom gospel compared to Tumblr (puke but affectionately) because it's just the land of walls of text. Well I LIKE writing longform walls of text and when I was forced to watch a TikTok I think I could physically feel my attention span warping.

Excepting a serious discussion about ability (that goes without saying) I think the aversion to longform content is a shame. Like to me if I'm obsessed or interested in a ship I want to read twenty thousand essays about it. But I guess that's the trend of the Internet now

Inevitably somebody is going to think I'm some sort of pretentious monster for decrying shortform content. Well,

But I think also at the heart of this is my annoyance at the trend of complaining about 'I buy books but I don't reeaaaaad any' and tons of posts with this air of anxiety of like how do I read books?? What's the magic cure?? There's like this disconnect between people who are used to shortform content upset at being unable to read longform content. And it's extremely weird because you genuinely shouldn't be beating yourself up this way and treating your body like it's some nonfunctioning mechanical tool, your body is you and you need to be gentle and figure out what it is the things that you want to do. That's probably your best starting point.

The starting point in those conversations is always like, put your phone away and never go online again. I don't personally find an absolutist approach helpful. You can actually go online you should just think about why you're online and what ideas you like sharing or exploring and when you might want to relax away from that. I don't think the phones are inherently the problem (you can read longform content on phones) but the way you respond to and create information is the bit that does.

It's like when I come across snippets of poetry on my dashboard, I often try to find the original source and read the poem in full. That in itself is a task which exercises grounding ideas in context (the social media age leads to a lot of information being groundless and ephemeral) but it's also something which makes me feel like I'm not mindlessly spending my time on the Internet. That's why I think it's important to distinguish what you use the Internet for.

To a degree I think this is even true of for instance writing a post like this. As self-conscious as I am about annoying people, wasting their time, writing something pretentious, being a waste of space, being a failure etc., I do find elaborating on my thoughts in a longform post which sometimes can hit a wordcount in the region of essays I'd write for uni a lot of fun and a great mental exercise. I don't consider this sort of task the same as, say, using Twitter like I'd used to, which stymied most of my thoughts. I do really miss the people I followed there but it was giving me a lot of anxiety using it, annoying people, but you know, what can you do.

But yeah I was annoyed about the idea that Tumblr is less accessible because it's wall-of-texty - so ironic because Tumblr is known for microblogging - when I don't think inclination to shortform content is necessarily the norm or something innate. Obviously I do think there are exceptional circumstances which apply, e.g. if you prefer someone's actual speech as opposed to text-to-speech which can be a bit impersonal, like my friend prefers me reading poetry for him as opposed to getting the bot to do it, and I would like to think that in reading this post this kind of caveat is self-evident.

That is to say, I think longform content is something you can easily get used to again. I had a period where I struggled with reading books a couple of years ago and I was really angry at myself because I used to read all the time, and then I had to actually learn to stop being angry at myself and seeing myself as a tool and instead as like, a person who was trying to do the things I enjoy and search for meaning. You're not a bad tool or a bad person for not being able to read, and sure maybe you might have deeper problems you need to look into (I'm not saying that either), but I still don't think you should view yourself as a tool that's broken. Although there's a cynic in me that views shortform content and broken attention spans as part of a greater ploy to keep you quiet and docile politically.

And yeah maybe I have come around to being a Tumblr apologist because every other website sucks and I'm a nerd who grew up with the Internet. My favourite thing after school was checking Sims forums. I can't say much has changed.

But finally, in terms of fandom itself, fandom shouldn't be a top-down hierarchy. There shouldn't be some TikTok that everybody watches to receive the fandom gospel. Part of the fun of fandom is thinking about things and sharing those things with other people, it's literally community and creativity. That's my ideal anyway.

#stirring the pot

[the-kestrels-feather]

Get To Know Me Tag Game

I was tagged by the lovely @gyokujyn, thank you friendo!!

1. How did you get your nickname (or url)?

There's nothing especially deep to it tbh, my name is Kestrel and my go-to username is kestrelfeather (yes I know its a Warrior Cats name it haunts me every day) but it was taken already

2. What's the last thing that made you cry?

Not to trauma dump on this here Tumblr post but tbh I need to get better at actually feeling my feelings, because I don't remember the last time I cried, and it's not because I'm living my best life or anything it's because I bottle my feelings like a fine wine 😅🙃

3. What's your latest guilty pleasure?

I try not to feel guilty about things that being me joy but it is absolutely my shameless Self-insert OC created to date Bucky Barnes and is almost definitely the Nonbinary equivalent of a Mary Sue but they make me happy GOD DAMMIT Cringe culture is DEAD

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

So despite not being a sporty kid I've actually played a few! Itty bitty baby Kes played soccer, Tee Ball, and Softball at varying times, and did Ballet, jazz, and tap for like a year or two. But that all stopped when I turned 7 and FINALLY talked my parents into letting me take horseback riding lessons, and I did that for 11.5 years. I absolutely LOVED riding, and would ABSOLUTELY still be doing it, but unfortunately it's time and money I don't have so I just stare longingly.

5. What are your pet peeves?

People who don't chew with their mouth closed talk with their mouth full my mother even though she denies it, kids who come into the textbook distribution room I work in and go "I need a book" but when i ask them for a title, class, teacher, literally any information that woukd help me get them the correct book they just say "I don't know".

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes. I suck at eye contact but if someone has pretty eyes I take notice

7. What is your eye color?

Great question tbh. Somewhere between blue and green, like a sort of teal-y color.

8. What super specific trope or genre is your kryptonite?

In non-fanciction settings: Gothic and Cosmic horror, action is fun, the fact that Librivox audiobooks of novels in the public domain are easy to find and extremely accessible, it's given me a strong love for classical literature, Picture of Dorian Gray is my favorite.

In Fanfiction settings: inject that Hurt/Comfort directly into my VEINS--. I'm also a big fan of any and all forms of Nonsexual intimacy.

9. What is your superpower?

As a Props Artisan I can make anything out of anything. I love making props from found objects, especially weapons. I was on a production of Romeo and Juliet and got to make all sorts of fun found object weapons because it was a post-apocalyptitc world

Some examples:

10. Which fictional world would you be happy to call home?

I know I would like. Instantly die. But I would love to live as a half-blood in the Percy Jackson world tbh.

11. What are your hobbies?

Listening to audiobooks and video essays, writing, learning to draw, video games, and crafting.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have one Dog, an 11 year old rat terrier mix named Peanut who owns my heart ❤️ I used to have pet land snails too, but unfortunately they have all passed on.

Bonus Peanut. Look at this little face how could you see this and NOT want to hand over all your worldly possessions to her:

13. What is your biggest toxic trait?

Oh jeez. I have a stubborn streak, but can also be really selfish.

14. Is there anything you're afraid you won't accomplish?

Oh BOY is there. My dream is to work Props for a Marvel movie and I worry I'll never get there. Also I'm just in general worried I'm never going to get a job in theatre/film which is my dream because it's the job I want, what I love, and what I went to school for and I'm scared I'll never get there.

15. What's number one on your bucket list?

The aforementioned dream of working on a Marvel movie!

Tags:

@bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky @navybrat817 @feraljazzpunk @buckybuckyboo and anyone else who wants to!

#thank you agaon for the tag!

[metalcursed]

just call me a lurker, feel free to delete this if you don't want to answer it. i used to be part of the rpc on here and than i stepped away for a little bit. i lurk around and admire rp blogs such as this one from a far and i start to build some confidence to make a come back but than i see so many wonderful blogs where the mun such as yours, embodies the character so perfectly. not to mention everyone is so fancy these days with their formatting and graphics, i hesitate rejoining because i get intimated by all the glitz and glam. for one thing i don't have photoshop, closest thing i got is my picmonkey and i don't think that compares to ps or any other nice program. do you have any role-playing advice? i wish i had a bit more confidence to return but than everything in the rpc world gets the better of me. everything has changed so much.

i want you to know first and foremost how much i relate to all of this though, okay? like i'm not the most active nor do i think my "aesthetic" is the best thing since sliced bread. i am flattered beyond any words can express you consider me a creator worth seeking advice from because anyone who speaks with me ooc can tell you i am such an awkward, shy bean. in no way am i trying to make this about me by the way, but i can only speak for myself and from my point of view--also just to let you know that you're not alone. seriously! i bet you anyone you're comparing yourself to is just as full of doubt as you are. i think we should stop looking around and comparing ourselves to others because we only end up putting ourselves down in the process. i can't tell you or anyone to stop doing that, but just know, you don't deserve it.

as far as editing goes, i totally get it. as much as i try to convince myself i'm not here for the aesthetic, it is really fun and can be a good distraction when words don't come. i like putting headcanons or connections in a visual context to breathe life into whatever it is we're coming up with. if you feel like it's a requirement for rping, i promise you it's not. however, if you're like me and enjoy it, just do your best. or more than likely, if you have partners who do ps, i'm sure they'll be more than happy to try any ideas you might have and the two of you can collaborate on things. of course, if they don't mind and have free time.

being intimidated by the aesthetic is understandable but not entirely necessary because some of the blogs i admire keep a minimalist format. they don't deal in icons and all that fuss, so no worries if you prefer to keep things simple. if people think you're less "quality" because you don't have time, resources or the interest to keep up with graphics, it's their loss. there are blogs out there who don't consider that important for a good rp.

tumblr rp in my experience has always been a fast track for change. i feel like if it's been a week since i've been on the dash, i've missed a million and one things that have happened. again, you're not alone. i've also known blogs to take long hiatuses and have come back feeling like a fish out of water, having to relearn knew acceptable guidelines, etc. most rpers will be understanding and be patient with this. the key thing i've learned in my rp experience is not to take most things personally because that's not what it's about. most of us just want a stress-free escape and we're not out to hurt others feelings or reject anyone out of spite. i've gotten used to writing with a few writers and accepting that small bubble of friends rather than collecting a large group of people who come in and out of the mix. the number of people who follow you back doesn't make you any more quality.

holy crap, i've written an essay, but i hope some part or all of it helps. if you need anything else, i'll try my best. thanks for reaching out. have fun with it if you decide to take it up again. it's going to be fine.

#anonymous #✥ ⟿ 𝖆 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖘 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖟𝖆𝖗𝖉 ⤬ ☾ inbox ☽ ⤦ #✥ ⟿ 𝖉𝖔𝖓❜𝖙 𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖐 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗𝖘 ⤬ ☾ ooc ☽ ⤦ #ps sorry this took so long sitting in my inbox #i haven't checked on it in a while

[ace-disgrace-from-space]

E750 is Truly an Enigma

Okay, so I know we’re all losing our collective minds over Camp Cretaceous’s E750. Not that I had one to begin with but I digress. 

Naturally, when there were questions to be asked, I felt like answering them instead of doing my homework. As usual, I teamed up with my good friend @baguette-whet​ to crack down and solve this mystery with intermittent shenanigans. 

So, it began with us looking at the image of the ice block and just spitballing until I drew a terrible outline, trying to prove to my yeasty friend that it was facing us a and roaring. To which they said it looked like the Indoraptor. For context, looks like this:

They said something about correct face shape and upon googling it, there were definitely more similarities. In the spirit of theorizing, I took this idea and ran with it, albeit a little poorly. I said it was possible as it took place before Fallen Kingdom and was possibly going to play into Dominion. This gave me an idea. It had been a while since I had watch FK so, of course, I went onto a wiki and investigated. For a while, we thought, “What if E750 was an Indorex prototype?”

Then Baguette made fun of all of Jurassic Park.

But briefly before that, I had been reading the wiki and noticed that the Indoraptor from FK WAS the prototype. So idea didn’t quite work. I sent Baguette the full wikie article, which, after reading, proceeding to bully Wu some more.

After all of that, I had another thought after looking at some images. E750 probably wasn’t an I-Rex or a failed one. Based on story, most likely not an Indoraptor either. So, what if it was something entirely new, which I know has been discussed before, but stay with me. 

These two dinosaurs are very different but they do share one visible quality, thought it’s less prominent on the I-Rex than the Indoraptor. Feathering. And what can we see through the ice in our good friend E750′s room?

Feathering. Or at least, that’s what it appears to be. So, what if Wu was making another Indominous? Not a raptor or a rex, but something else? It might fit as we see other files on Wu’s laptop next to E750, although labeled differently. They could either the previous Indominous files or previous attempts on this one. It was interesting, howwver, that if these files were all related, why weren’t they filed the same? What does the E in E750 stand for? Baguette, once again, was smarter than me. For a second at least.

There were a few other ideas such as the remains of the I-Rex’s twin, seeing as E750 looked a little... wonky. I agreed, saying it was plausible as we never hear about the remains and that they could be being preserved to use for future projects. But seeing as the dinosaur is ALIVE? Probably not.

So, once again going off of Baguette’s idea of classification, I went to the magic land of Wikipedia and compiled this:

Didn’t look too much into some of them, but just some ideas. Until, Baguette hit us with the one true answer to this question.

To which I replied:

And Baguette ended the bit with:

In all seriousness, there are many possibilities to what E750 could be and these are just some ideas to get your brain turning!

not the horse one. please not the horse one-

#e750 #camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous spoilers #jurassic world #i really need to stop writing full essays on tumblr

[kuiinncedes]

why am i relaxinggg 🤡

#lol i know it's not a bad thing but it is when i haven't looked at my essay that needs 384765843 things fixed by monday 😍 #and when i haven't done as much research as i wanted to today 🤩 #i'll probably just end up doing that tho and not working on my essay bc i really don't want to so i just do research work instead #to procrastinate on it 😭😭😭 #but .... i think that's exactly what i'm gonna do lakhgafjhgdsk #and then maybe at like midnight i can do some essay work in bed half asleep until like 2 kjgfhgjfg #damn fghjfhh can't wait until next semester when i at least won't have to write any more essays lmao #my academic advisor sugested that i could take fewer credits next semester bc i'm taking 18 this semester 🤡 #i took 18 last semester too kfghgjf #but like idk i just feel like i Should have a full credit schedule even tho it's not like better for me or anything jksjghkfd #obviously as evidenced by me not getting enough sleep for a while and then accidentally sleeping in until 11 this morning 😂 #but no i'll take fewer credits next semester 🥴 i just hope i can like get the classes i want lol #jeanne talks #time to read some more fox transcripts fjghgkdfhks #but whyyy why would i do work when i can just chill on tumblr ;-; #sigh lol anywayyy #i should stop complaining tho at least i like doing the research work and it's productive so yeah idk aklhfgsdklfj shut up lol

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

hi I usually love ur takes n some of them have literally meant a lot to me when I was struggling to find myself n somewhat still am but not this time. there's absolutely no need to even try to defend the rich texan man jus cus disappointment isn't a new thing for u guys who've been in the fandom for years. horrible behaviour w/ fans need not be normalised under any circumstances n there's just no need to say 'oh the rich white man mustn't have heard the question or the crying he's not like that.' No. Just no. The solution of going in w/ no expectations may be rational but that's not what happened right. We fully expected to be disappointed wrt destiel n I personally expected a full jomophobe panel tbh but not this shit w/ the grieving fan & girl!jack. if ppl are calling him out on being shitty I absolutely don't see the need to call it an overexaggeration on our part. Sorry it got too long. Sorry if I've hurt you in any way, not my intention. I love you and your patience.

okay so i got a lot of asks yesterday, the day Jensen Said The Thing About Jack, far more than i can possibly answer. and while the majority were positive support (and thank you so much to everyone who sent support, i see you and i love you), but i got several hostile, antagonistic asks, and there was a particular reoccurring theme in them that i did not have the cognitive energy to address yesterday.

however, i have now had time to have a good old fashioned shower argument session, so i'm going to write this out, and i'm choosing this ask because it was at least less hostile than others.

here's the thing. basically everyone who was hostile to me used the exact same words: "why are you defending the rich white middle-aged texan man."

they said those words over and over. rich white middle-aged texan man. rich white middle-aged texan man.

now, if you don't know, i happen to be a white person who has lived in texas my entire life, and is closer to middle-aged than i'd prefer. just so we're all starting on the same page here.

while it's a dangerous thing to do on tumblr, i would like to try and deconstruct some of the logic here.

it appears as though the argument to this statement is simply, "this person has multiple axes of privilege, therefore he is wrong by default and everyone agreeing with him is wrong by default." it appears as though the argument is, "a debate on morality and correct vs incorrect is won or lost based on the amount of privilege held by those having the debate".

because, let me make it perfectly clear: i never said that jensen did absolutely nothing wrong. i never "poor baby"d him. i said that he was probably stressed out and anxious and he probably didn't mean it to come out the way it sounded, but i completely understood why people felt grossed out and upset by what he said. i said that i would like for someone to sit him down and explain to him why what he said was gross so he could do better, because i think that he's a sincere person would do better once he knows better. i did not pull the "stop being so mean to my poor little meow meow" routine. i discussed the subject at length, with what i think is a proper degree of nuance.

but every time i wrote 500 words of nuance, somebody else told me "stop defending the rich white middle aged texan man."

and i don't want to get into a whole essay here, but like..... do you people understand that each one of those things are not, in of themselves, bad?

yes, jensen is "rich", but is not wealthy. if you don't know the difference between 10 million and 10 billion, please do some math. he's a c list celebrity, not elon musk. yes, jensen is white. so am i. so is misha. so are lots of quite decent people. yes, jensen is middle aged. are we really gonna get ageist here and act like not being 20 is a character flaw? all of you will be middle aged someday.

yes, jensen is from texas. do you know why texas is shitty? because of gerrymandering and voter suppression, not because the people who live here suck worse than anywhere else. i see people make posts going "lmao he's literally from texas" like it's hilarious. donald trump was born in new york. what's your fucking point?

and yes, jensen is a man. is radfem rhetoric really so pervasive that i need to say that being a man is not bad? i mean like, it's one thing to vent and joke about men as a class, it's another thing entirely to act as though being a man makes you a bad person. men are not bad. men are fucking great. i love men.

and the thing is, i say all of this, but of course you know it already. because two days ago you knew that jensen was a rich white middle-aged texan man, and you still called him "king" and parasocialized like fucking crazy. when you thought he was gonna go out on stage and say "dean wants cas to fuck him in the ass" you LOVED him, you wanted to suck his dick. you didn't care that he was a rich white middle-aged texan.

but, when he didn't say the things you were demanding he say, you turned on him. he wasn't your king anymore. and then he fumbled a lame joke that was, at worst, casually sexist. (i will no longer entertain anyone saying he sexualized a child. if you cannot understand that alex calvert is in his thirties i do not know what to say to you anymore.) and it's completely fair to say "i don't like that joke, it was casually sexist and made me feel gross." that is completely fair.

BUT. with that, you have to admit that you're not upset about jensen being a rich white middle-aged texan man, you're upset about what he said. and, again, that's fair, as long as you're not twisting it into shit it wasn't. anyone who's upset and grossed out by the "a few more glances" comment, i sympathize with you. i'm not excusing the fact that he said it.

so... we're back to the fact that when i was discussing this, i was trying to discuss the morality of what he said, and whether those of us having the discussion were correct or incorrect in what he meant by what he said. and over and over, people responded with the "rich white middle aged texan man".

which, if you've made it this far, brings me to my ultimate point: i don't know how to tell you this, tumblr, but morality and correctness is not determined by privilege.

the most marginalized person in the room is not inherently the most moral person in the room, or the kindest. being gay or Black or disabled or poor doesn't make you a good person. being kind makes you a good person. and i guess this might be controversial on here, but sometimes privileged people are kind, and sometimes marginalized people are unkind assholes.

i was not defending jensen because he's white or a man, but because i think he's kind, and i think the people trashing him were both unkind and incorrect. i am not going to become so fucking brainrotted that i say "kill him" because the him in question is a white man who said one mildly upsetting thing, and i'm not gonna just go along with people who do.

i do not fucking like the way my dash turned so swiftly from kissing jensen's ass when they thought he was gonna say something gay to literally calling for him to be murdered because he said one dumb thing. the way people acted was unkind and cruel and undeserved, and i don't care how marginalized you are, if you are unkind and cruel for sport, i don't like you. you make fandom a terrible place.

i will defend anyone that i think is a kind, genuine person, and i will call out anyone who i think is an unkind asshole. i don't care if you're gay or trans or a person of color, if you're an unkind asshole, i'm not going to stand by you. your oppression is not an excuse for being a shitty ass person.

and before i end this post that DID turn into an essay despite my best efforts, there's one more thing i'd like to bring up that i found... interesting.

as soon as the dash starting going to hell over The Comment, i immediately saw people saying things like "well what do you expect from a straight man." and those people were the SAME people who have spent months making jokes about jensen being "[gunshots]" and gleefully partaking in my cockles masterlist. in other words, these people have spent nigh a year joking around and agreeing that jensen is a queer man.

but the moment he displeased them, he became a straight man again. as if being queer is only reserved for good people (you do know that queer men can be sexist, right?) and straight = bad. as though they were punishing a queer man by calling him straight.

and ultimately, i think my point is that you don't say "(straight) rich white middle-aged texan man" because you think those really are inherently bad things, because you were a fan of jensen five minutes ago. i think you say that so you have an excuse to be mean. just fucking nasty and unkind and violent and disgusting, really.

as long as he's all those things, there's no problem with saying that he should be shot in the head, right? because of course, it would be Wrong and Terrible to say that a poor disabled native lesbian should be shot in the head because she said something that upset you, right? and the difference would be because, uh... because being marginalized inherently makes you Good and being privileged inherently makes you Bad? so as long as the person in question was born under certain circumstances, it's totally cool and funny to make jokes wishing violent death upon them.

and, before anyone comes to tell me i'm a hypocrite, then, for saying rude things about jared, i'm going to explain, if i must, that the reason i hate jared is because he's not only a self-centered bigot, but because he thinks being cruel for sport is funny. do you get my point?

lastly, before i press post, i'm going to say this one more time: jensen absolutely did not hear that girl crying from backstage. i have been in a convention audience and not been able to clearly hear what a questioner said, because they are not mic'd as well as the person onstage. that is not an excuse, that's just a fact. some event coordinator told jensen to round up misha for the next thing on the schedule, jensen did not know what was currently going on, and he came out teasing in a way that would have been perfectly fine if the question was light-hearted, which they usually are. someone asking a question involving how to cope with the death of their abusive father is simply not what is typically happening at convention panels. he didn't. fucking. know.

at this point, i think that you guys actually just enjoy tearing people down and manipulating something into an excuse to be cruel. you view real, actual human people with feelings as toys to be played with, and when they don't dance the way you like, you throw a tantrum. and if that's what you want out of fandom, stop making any pretense of valuing kindness.

#jen #denvercon #wank for ts #long post for ts #anonymous #ask #i know this is abysmally long but fuck i just needed to get it out #death tw #violence tw