#i really really hope i didnt ruin the fun for anyone
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𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 in which everyone thinks that she’s dating her skating partner, but her actual boyfriend starts to feel a bit insecure about how everyone ships her with her someone who isn’t him.. ౨ৎ ollie x fem!skater!reader
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yourusername in italy for the (very short) break 😚!
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user here before hyun 🥰
user MOTHER IS IN ITALY 😭🙏🏼
user i need to run into her idk !!
user MY GIRL MY GIRL
user she’s so perf
user hyun i hope you know how to fight
→ user real ‼️
hyun_sb182 ❤️❤️
lilymhe so gorg babes
→ yourusername imy ☹️❤️
alex_albon COME TO MY RACE 🤔🤔
→ yourusername maybe.. if I’m not too busy going to other races 😉
→ user omg what does she mean by that
→ user IS SHE DATINg A DRIVER
→ user ew why would you say that.. she’s clearly dating hyun ??? 😭
user she posted this just for me 😂😂🙏🏼🙏🏼 (I’m delusional)
user anyone else find it weird how ppl are saying they’re dating when yn is 18 and hyun is like 22 😭???
→ user RIGHT and they met when she was like 16 and he was 20 .. WEIRD!
→ user fr plus i see them more as siblings ..
YN 🐻❄️🤍
HI OLLIE
i hope you’re not bothered by all those stupid ppl who think I’m dating hyun 😞
OLLIE 🐻❤️
HI YN 💕
it’s fine, i mean it kinda makes me sad but theres nothing we can really do about it
YN 🐻❄️🤍
i’m sorry ollie :(
i can tell my pr to handle this ???
OLLIE 🐻❤️
no no it’s fine!
YN 🐻❄️🤍
are u sure???
OLLIE 🐻❤️
yes I’m sure :)
anyways, getting rid of that topic
are you coming to my race ???
YN 🐻❄️🤍
well yeah duh
why else would I be in Italy
OLLIE 🐻❤️
to be in italy ?
YN 🐻❄️🤍
why would I be in italy just to be in italy
when my bfs race is happening the week i have off
OLLIE 🐻❤️
yeah you have a point
this is the first race of mine you’re going to 😁😁
YN 🐻❄️🤍
i knoww I’m so excited :)
OLLIE 🐻❤️
i’ll win this race just for you 🍀
♡ yn loved “ i’ll win this race just for you 🍀 ”
yourusername just added two new stories
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yourusername thanks prema_team for letting me hang with you guys!!! and congratulations to ollie for winning 😄😄! super nice hanging out with jak too! (It was just an amazing experience in general, thank you ❤️)
tagged olliebearman jakcrawford_
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user was hyun there too???
→ user girl stfu she can go places by herself 😐
user my two worlds colliding
user wait why is that jak guy kinda …. I’m gonna start watching f2 for him fr 🫣
user jak, yn, & ollie is a crazy trio i hope we see more of them 🙏🏼
user AWW OLLIE LOOKS ADORABLE IN THE 4TH PIC
→ user ollie in the third pic “ 🧍♂️”
user i smell a new ship
→ user stop shipping a girl with a whole ass bf. 😭
→ user she literally never confirmed if shes dating hyun lol
jakcrawford_ i kinda look dumb in the last pic
→ yourusername tbf it was very early in the morning
olliebearman fun hanging with you! 😀
→ yourusername i agree!
alex_albon so are u coming to my race or not .. cause you obviously have time now 🙄
→ yourusername 👍🏻
yourusername just added two new stories
viewed by olliebearman ynsupdates and 9,829 others
OLLIE 🐻❤️
just saw your story
you hang out with him alot don’t you ?
YN 🐻❄️🤍
well i mean yeah? he’s my partner..
don’t be mad ollie ..
OLLIE 🐻❤️
no I’m not mad at you
i could never be mad at you
i just feel like
kinda insecure
like everyone thinks you guys are so amazing together
and that you guys like belong.. I dunno it’s stupid, sorry
YN 🐻❄️🤍
don’t apologize oliver
you’re feelings are 100% valid and I’M sorry
that you feel that way :(
and I hope you know I don’t see hyun in that way,
he’s more of an older brother to me! i promise u :)
OLLIE 🐻❤️
i love you 💕
YN 🐻❄️🤍
i love you more 💘
YN 🐻❄️🤍
OLIVER
U DIDNT
OMG
UR IN KOREA
SHUT UP OH MY GOD
I HATE U
WHY DIDNT U TELL ME
OLLIE 🐻❤️
it was supposed to be a surprise
twitter ruined my surprise 😔
YN 🐻❄️🤍
dw ollie!! i’ll act super duper surprised when i see u
OLLIE 🐻❤️
thank you 😊💕
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yourusername 🍀
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user SERVING CUNT PER USUAL
user mother is ALWAYS mothering
user this performance was so good i shed so many tears 😢
user EVERYTHING ABT HER IS PERFECT 🫡
user ON MY KNEES IM BARKING
lilymhe this performance was so AMAZING
→ yourusername THANK YOU BABES 😭😭❤️❤️
jakcrawford_ ABSOLUTE FIRE
→ yourusername THANKS BFF !
olliebearman such a lovely performance, it was so amazing seeing it live 💕
→ yourusername thank you ollie 🥹💕
→ user i just dropped to my knees.
→ user THE HEARTS LORDDDD
→ user how do you feel now ynhyun nation 🤣🤣
Liked by yourusername, jakcrawford_, and 23,389 others
olliebearman you’ll always be my person, i love you yn 🤍
original: yeah, how do you feel ynhyun nation? sorry i ruined your little ship but i’ve been dating her for a year now! I love you, yn 🤍
• edited
tagged yourusername
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user THE CAPTION IS FOUL.
→ user he changed it 😕
user bud didn’t come to play
→ user bud did not let the rumors slide
user the rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true 🎶
→ olliebearman only the rumors abt me dating yn are true
user we lost ynhyun . CAUSE OF A WHITE BOY
→ user get out. hyun aint stand a CHANCE!
user SCREAMING SOBBING THROWING UP
user WE WON HELLO?????
user long story short i survived the ynhyun allegations
user i knew them ynhyun mfos were delusional
user MY PARENTS YESSIR
user these pictures are so CUTE IM THROWING UP
lilymhe took you long enough
→ jakcrawford_ right like i couldn’t pretend like i just met yn anymore.. like dawg we’ve been friends for months now 🤨
→ yourusername LMFAOO IM SORRY JAK
yourusername the caption sir…… 🤨 you should PROBABLY CHANGE IT ! don’t want ur pr to hate me
→ olliebearman yes ma’am
yourusername THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE YOU
→ olliebearman I LOVE YOU TOO 🤍🤍
Liked by ynsupdates, olliebearman, lilymhe and 89,922 others
yourusername yeah as if I would ever date a scrawny white boy..
tagged olliebearman
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user HIS LEGS ARE SO LONG WHAT THE HELL
→ olliebearman no cause fr why are my legs that long
user IS THE CAPTION OFF THAT ONE TWEET YN..
→ yourusername idk what ur talking abt!
user AUAAAGAHAKXXS IM CRYING
user sweetest + funniest couple ever
olliebearman so u can have an unhinged caption but i cant 🤨
→ yourusername that’s different oliver.
olliebearman we’re so couple goals 😋
→ yourusername so true babe
olliebearman ynollie forever
hyun_sb182 incredibly happy for you two ❤️
→ hyun_sb182 also i am not attracted to her, I have a girlfriend and I see yn as a younger sister …
→ yourusername thank you hyun!!!
౨ৎ helloo! this is a re upload from my old blog <3 sorry for not posting anything, but i will b posting just old stuff from my old blog while i work on the new stuff 🤫🤫 BE READY FOR A CHARLES SMAU SOON 🤓🤓 also dulce hotline waaaah
@moneygramhaas hai bff ౨ৎ
#𓇼 landitolover#꩜ my writings#formula two#f2#ollie bearman#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman x you#f1#jak crawford#female reader#smau
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AITA for not wanting my fiancé to hang out with my sister and I?
Okay so my fiancé (22f) offered to drive to Mexico with her aunt and stay a couple days. It was only three days notice and she hadn't discussed it with me(24f) at all. I do think she should go, she's been wanting a vacation lately and been really upset because I can't afford to go anywhere. It's a good opportunity to get vacation and family time. I was really happy for her. I just feel like it's basic politeness to at least let me know before she gave a definitive yes since we live together so I was slightly annoyed.
Fast forward two days and it seemed like that plan wasn't going to work out because her aunt wanted to postpone, so instead she decided to go out of town with her brother (18) since she had gotten her hopes up about a vacation, which again sounded like a good idea. In the meantime I'd set up a sleepover with my sister that same weekend.
Without even mentioning the situation to me, my fiancé posted on snapchat asking if a third person wanted to go with them to keep the costs down, which would be fine if she hadn't posted it to her story. Its okay if someone else goes but maybe asking in a groupchat or a few people individually but not absolutely everyone.
So of course her ex (who she has readily admitted shes left multiple people for) asked to go. It isn't her fault that her ex is the only one who offered but also that's part of the reason why I would have asked her to ask more directly than every single person she has on snapchat.
She asked me if I was comfortable with that which was nice, and I said not really because of the nature of their relationship. The only times we've hung out, my fiancé ended up being super cold and hostile to me and laughing her ass off at inside jokes with her. I get that they have a history and I don't expect her to pretend they dont, but it just makes me uncomfortable when we're all together because I feel like a third wheel to the person I'm engaged to and her ex girlfriend.
She got upset and said I was being unfair and ruining her weekend. I told her it was fine if she could find literally anyone else and that frankly it was inappropriate for her ex to even ask. She got argumentative about how she's been hanging out with her ex for years because they have mutual friends (which is fair except the mutual friends are not invited) and that her ex didnt even know I wouldnt be there. The argument lasted another two days. She kept saying that I am being too controlling, which I dont think is fair because if she didnt care about my feelings then why ask about them. I just gave up and said it was fine. I'd be having fun with my sister anyway so I wouldn't spend the whole time worrying, and I trust her not to cheat on me I just think it's a weird situation and it makes me uncomfortable, which is what she asked.
As soon as I said yes she told me it was too late to book an airbnb so she wasn't going to go, and that really upset me because she'd been so angry about me being uncomfortable that she wouldn't leave me alone for days and what was even the point of all that if she wasn't going to go anyway and she already decided that.
During the past 4 days until canceling suddenly like that, she was 100% supposed to be going out of town to somewhere, and I had gotten really excited about my sleepover with my sister. We were going to do things that my fiancé does not enjoy (arts and crafts, watching period movies) since it would be just us and also have some much needed sister time.
All of a sudden, the next day, my fiancé asked if she could come over too since she wasn't going anywhere. I said "I guess, but we were going to do stuff that you wouldn't like." And she got mad and told me I was being super rude and I could have been nice about it, which I thought I had been and I told her I feel like if she came either she wouldn't have fun or we wouldn't get to do the stuff that we were planning to. She was still angry all night and kept saying she obviously didn't want to come now since she wasn't welcome. I barely slept because she was so clearly upset with me and I didn't see any way to fix things without ruining my night with my sister.
The day before the sleepover she kept hinting that she wanted me to invite her and I really didn't want to. Maybe before all this stuff but I am really annoyed with all of this and I don't want he to butt in on my sisters night.
I think she's been inconsiderate and mean to me over this whole thing. I just don't get her thought process with any of it. But she seems really sad and that does make me think maybe I'm being the asshole here.
So AITA for not wanting my fiancé to hang out with my sister and I?
What are these acronyms?
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So TotK seems to be clicking where BotW wasn't. Any insight on what the key differences are that work for you?
note: i played botw up until the calamity ganon fight and then went "yeah ok ive played a zelda game before", put it down and never went back. didnt play the dlc
i dont think anyone would be surprised to know that im a "majoras mask was the best zelda" guy but the reason has little to do with the "darker tone" or the lore but because reusing assets allowed the dev team to greatly (GREATLY in this case holy shit) expand on the actual contents of the game itself. i love gold/silver best for the same reason.
botw is like running around an empty movie set. theres nothing in that fucking game. at the time, due to the proliferation of crafting mechanics infesting literally every AAA game, it felt like nintendo was more focused about hitting all the checks on a checklist of tired mechanics that were included just for the sake of saying they had it. crafting! weapon durability! open world! pbbbbt.
none of these things proved to be enjoyable to me. keeping in mind that ive been playing zeldas since the snes (skipping only a handful of handheld games), the changes felt like steps away from what makes zelda games unique. crafting felt like an arbitrary step between me and potions. i wanted to swing my master sword with power, not experiment with clumsy weapons that stop existing after i finally get a feel for them. and the open world, frankly sucked.
mm rewarded me for my curiosity. experimentation and exploration would lead to interesting or gratifying results (did you know theres a paper airplane in ikana canyon...). botw is like playing in the window xp background. theres barely any landmarks, except shrines, or anything to do outside of getting the yiga clan's ass. theyre easy to pick out because theyre literally the only people on the road. the world is put to waste; i cant play with it, i can just observe and be extremely artificially hindered by its vastness.
this doesnt really fit anywhere else in the above open world rant, but trading the shrines for small and sparce dungeons was a huge let down. i was hoping for a series of cohesive puzzles intended to help my mastery of my newest weapon or ability. you know. like a zelda game
totk fixed this and every other problem in the best way possible; the devs dumped a ton of toys into my playpen, gave me a hot glue gun, and told me to go buck wild. i love to build a horrible contraption to solve my stupid problems or kill me instantly. i love that experimenting with weapons involves actual experimentation if you desire or you can have an inventory exclusively full of spear type weapons with vastly different properties by gluing a bunch of rocks or monster parts to it. but most importantly....the "stock up->head out->explore->return" loop no longer feels like i have to go to the dmv over and over.
sure, the depths are artificially large in the way that the map in botw was; theres not a lot to do except reveal the map and do plot stuff. but the overworld was given a complete overhaul using the empty map as a starting point. theres actually stuff to look at, ruins to explore, caves to investigate, holes to jump into, and all that shit in the sky to explore. the sky map might be sparse but its meticulously crafted so that just the process of explorating the archipelagos feels like a puzzle you need to solve, as opposed to a hurdle you have to jump.
there is so much more to do in totk that im pretty sure im over 20 hours in and havent done any of the regional main quests. ive been running around picking up side quests, uncovering the map, exploring the depths, fucking around in the sky, and dying my clothes. but its not annoying or overwhelming. it feels more alive and less like a weird map in an abandoned gmod server. im having fun.
for crit: imo, one of the biggest criticisms i have for both these games is that the voice acting is horrendous. nintendo has too much money to be tapping people who sound like they just got out of the shenmue soundbooth. zelda was not improved by voice acting and they should probably go back to everyone just having short exclamations like "HEH HEEH!" or "hmmm...".
also link doesnt roll anymore and its really fucking me up. im really struggling here lol. i keep trying to do dark souls shit and every fight involves me accidentally zooming in with the sheikah slate instead of locking on, hitting l1 istead of shield, and whistling for my horse instead of drinking estus.
also nerf rain
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Played the Last of Us when I was a kid and now I watched the show for the first time and I gotta tell you what this has spawned is a TLOU au in Fmab where Riza and Edward are Joel and Ellie. Al is dead. Blood seal broke trying to save Ed from the infected swarming them. Ed is immune because he did human transmutation. Actually in this au it isnt a fungal evolution type infection per se as much as its a bioalchemy experiment on fungi gone severely wrong so the only people immune are those who did human transmutation because it's fun, chimeras can get infected but it doesn't really spread like it does with humans so they have a longer time before they turn or maybe they need to get bit multiple times to turn. Homunculi ofc are immune because of the ph stone. Want to say that they use a gotcha system where if they get bit one of the souls in the ph stone croaks and not them. Absolutely same deal with Mr I swallow ph stones like a whore Kimblee who doesnt broadcast he has a ph stone so ppl think he's legit immune and they're hunting this mf down for a vaccine.
The author that brought you gnarly scenes such as anything in Black Honour also brings you a scene where Maes has to shoot baby Elicia because she got infected and went wild trying to kill Ed :D
Berthold Hawkeyes house is the best place to be. That man made a bunker decades before anyone thought smth like this might ever happen.
Riza and Ed run into many different folks on their way to figure out what the fuck is happening (this is like set in the 1st month since shit hit the fan so double the chaos - think trains getting derailed because of people going crazy and trying to eat each other - absolute pandemonoum purge type shenanigans where everything is new and the government is losing its grasp on the people)
Riza and Ed are trying to find Roy Mustang whom they only heard is somewhere up north east. Maybe in Central City (it hit it here first and hardest - overrun with infected)
They sent most of the State Alchemist to try and take care of this. But some like General Grand and Colonel Mustang got orders to take care of the infected and make sure it didnt spread - ie theyre the bombs in this au eyy it wasnt enough to do this shit in Ishval guess you need to do it again but in towns with ppl u genuinely know :D !! Horrific shit. Reason why Riza isnt with Mustang and doesnt know where he is.
Radios are down and they need to reastablish some towers that were knocked down.
(Fort Briggs for example in this au would be 0 infected because they kill the infected imediatelly sucks to be u but they are preserving their numbers and they too are in a giant bunker of sorts)
The homunculi are very pissed off about this because you cant use the infected as a soul for their big transmutation circle so Father has put them on Top priority to get to the bottom of this because they are running out of TIME.
Just for shits and giggles. And this rly is the cursed timeline: instead of splicing his daughter with her dog for his recertification exam, Shou Tucker tried doing a lil bit of a bioalchemy experiment with fungi :) because he's such a fun guy eyyy
Riza and Ed are in CC and Riza gets stabbed so this is now Ed's solo arc trying to find medicine for her and anyone to help. He takes her to Christmas dive bar to recuperate. Not a soul to be found there. Everyone is fleeing Amestris. Folks in Resembool are going to Ishval because they know nobody is there in the ruins. Ed doesnt know if Pinako and Winry are even alive but he hopes they are. Someone has to be in this mess.
Ed doesnt rly want to use his alchemy because the more he does the easier it is for these infected to find him. And while he is immune he doesnt fancy losing more limbs to these bastards.
Riza looked super unwell. Ed doesnt know if hed be able to navigate any of this by himself. He doesnt know if anyone he knows is still alive. She is his lifeline at the moment and this means he has to save her. Especially if Mustang is still alive. They gotta meet him and they gotta succeed.
Ed knows the hospital is too far away. But theres got to be a pharmacy nearby or smth he can raid. He has to.
But all of them have already been raided. And the infected are growing in numbers. Yet Ed refuses to go back. He can't let Riza down. He can't let someone else he loves die protecting him.
Through a series of dastardly events, Edward winds up finding a shackled man trying to break free from some infected chimeras. The man is screaming for help and crying and really being pathetic. Ed is the people's alchemist so he will help you pathetic crying man! Winds up saving him. Winds up getting mugged because the seemingly infeccted chimeras and the man are in on a con together to survive.
Edward fights them. Gets overpowered due to numbers. "MOTHERFUCKERS!!!"
"Children these days are so rude :/ "
Anyway after some more back and forth Ed learns this guy is some big shot alchemist from Ishval and asks him if he knows Riza Hawkeye. He needs medicine for her.
The chimeras are all like sorry kid we dont have any medicine.
Kimblee, with a ph stone in him: I could heal her with some alchemy. Our party would benefit from a sniper.
So Riza gets saved via ph stone. Wakes up and sees Kimblee. Imediatelly takes a gun and tries to shoot him.
Especially when she sees his bite marks!! Motherfucker STEP AWAY. Hes like I got these weeks ago!! Liar! No, really! I'm immune! And I'm the Fuhrer President himself *cocks gun*
Fun times lay ahead on their search for Roy Mustang.
#the last of us#tlou#fmab#fullmetal alchemist broterhood#edward elric#riza hawkeye#solf j. kimblee#kimblee#roy mustang
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hey so this may be. A Question. but how would gaffen + widget + maybe the champions react to undertale/deltarunes characters. sorry for undertaling you </3 . also anything on the champions descendants?
OKAY here i go. finally. im gonna limit it to gaffen/widget unless I can think of a funny interaction between undertale characters and the champions I think solely bc there are a lot of them...these are gonna be fairly superficial and based on first impressions don't think too hard about them </3 cause theyre kinda bad
honestly they'd collectively be very weirded out by monsters that can actually speak to them. widget and daruk would definitely try to work things out and yknow. not try to kill anyone while given the first sign of violence gaffen might start attacking everyone. so my first thought is. they are probably better off sticking together in this scenario because of gaffen. and tbf it's not like widget wouldn't be suspicious either, she would be less than friendly at first, especially if she learned how monsters got into the underground. she'd immediately start wondering why and paint humans as the victims who must have had a good reason to do such a thing. idk i'll go in the order of a neutral route
flowey: i'll be honest they would not like flowey...which is HORRIBLE ik. I imagined them trying to beat him up and them him resetting which!!! I do not blame him. if they knew more about him I don't think gaffen would be sympathetic and urbosa would just be pissed. however. mipha probably would reconsider. widget would be all like DONT LOSE HOPE THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!!! revali going "tch I would do cooler things if I could reset everyone" would be funny i admit but smhhh
toriel: ok I admit I think urbosa would be like "shes such a soft mom geez." (baka.) if gaffen wasnt in work mode he'd want to make puns with her and eat her pies....in the meantime he will stare soulfully at her. if toriel read widget facts about snails then widget would be fascinated im ngl she would stay in the ruins with toriel if this was an actual undertale route. however I think they are just taking a tour so whagever
sans: widget would be a bit startled by his jokes! also I think sans would realize that shes like, a PRIME target for them. gaffen and sans would get into a staring contest and gaffen would lose because sans has no eyelids. or does he
explain this toby fox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
papyrus: oh you bet widget and papyrus would get along. immediate best buds. gaffen would look at papyrus like he was insane (his eyes are bloodshot from skeleton staring contest) revali being all are you AWARE of how GULLIBLE you both ARE would be funny and mipha immediately jumping to widget and papyrus's defenses would be super funny
undyne: urbosa being like UM. I am FAR less of a show off than you are. you must serve your kingdom with grace. and then they get into a suplexing contest. daruk also joins but he's like oh haha i'm doing this for fun :) while undyne and urbosa are giving it their all. widget is cheering for urbosa obviously and gaffen is a last-minute contestant. widget cheers even harder for urbosa. im not sure who would win but it's not gaffen. also urbosa thinks it was super funny. also mipha would be fascinated by the echo flowers + have a lot of fun swimming around in waterfall. heartbroken by onion-san and tells her all about zora's domain </3
alphys: im going off my immediate first thought so honestly widget asking what anime is and alphys freaking out about it at first and widget being like OH NO WHAT DO I DO. mipha being like...tell me about this...anime...also widget would think mettaton is really cool. revali might like it but he would not express interest at first. and then he would criticize the sequel to mew mew kissy cutie along with alphys really passionately (iirc??? I forgot which one she didnt like) gaffen is eating instant ramen noodles straight out of the package when no one is looking. also if widget knew about the true lab she'd be like well um its fine ??? you did what you could ig wouldnt think of it as bad at all. which. erm. widget. urbosa would complain that her and daruk cant fit in the elevators and criticize asgore's city planning
asgore: yeah speaking of him. idk I think theyd like him. especially if they've heard a lot of good things on their way over. im imagining them all sitting down for tea...widget might be a little skeptical. and would also definitely figure out that him and toriel are divorced and ask intrusive questions about it. if this was deltarun id say asgore might be a little more interested in talking to gaffen I think he would see a bit of resemblance between gaffen and kris, mostly just quiet + weird + :| face I think. gaffen would just be quietly intimidated I think
OKAY. i'll do deltarune ones cos im kinda enjoying this
kris: ok honestly I cant even imagine kris would want to interact with them. widget would track them down and kris would just leeeeaaave
susie: widget immediately thinking susie is horrible and awful and susie responding in kind by being susie-er is funny to me. she would think widgets relationship with the champions and gaffen is super weird I think, but would she say this? idk.
berdly: ...yeah this is one of the reasons I wanted to answer this ask. I just. revali and berdly...I dont think theyd get along at all I think they'd see the worst aspects of themselves in each other and hate each other </3
uhh I think that is enough for me. for Now. but. yea
champions descendants is fairly complicated so uh if you wanted to send me another ask abt it so I could answer it separately...pleas...
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ur tmagp opinion is so interestin 2 me actually bc im listening to tmagp bc i didnt like tma. i listened to it twice fully through, loved the statements but didnt care like. at all abt the main cast. like they all annoy me in one way or another. but the worldbuilding was what kept me there. so a new story with the "same world" is very interesting 2 me ^^. anyways have fun not listening or waiting ur so fair for that
oh hell yeah more power to you! Thats super interesting and totally valid! I get that, ican understand WHY people are excited for it & are listening to it! The world is soo cool and that's one of the things that I really miss about TMA when it was running
I really hope people enjoy it, like I said I'm sure it'll be pretty good! I don't wanna be the guy who's trying to rain on everyone parade or ruin anyone having a fun time or make people feel bad for listening, I just personally won't be, and I'm personally gonna be a hater 5ever 👍 I hope u have fun tho! Godspeed!!!!! Anon I'm not rooting for the show but I am rooting for you specifically 🫶
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i didn't mean you should start building their relationship already btw. i mean more we could see az show some care for her platonically (i dont know how to spell that, english is hard) like he does with the other ic member (which he did start showing a bit) and see them have normal chats here and there. i agree that she has a lot of work to do before getting into a relationship and that if azriel started liking her out of nowhere it wouldn't work. they should get the awkwardness worked out and then stay friends for a while i feel like
also you said something about unnecessary parts but i haven't read anything that i thought didnt matter to the story, i think it's really more because we only read the chapters when they come out so we can't keep reading to get to the fun part like in a book (which when i sent in that ask i started really thinking about how that conversation with the ic could go and i get why you're scared like the poor girl is going to go through it but it's necessary for better things!). if this was a book i would have definitely finished it in one sitting, it's a really good story i hope you don't doubt that. some chapters could have been grouped together maybe but that would still be the same amount of writing we would just be in chapter 8 instead of 10 idk
also are we getting more mer azzy soon?? he's very cute, i kind of imagine him like those cats that hiss when you get close but still want a pet - 🧶
‘i mean more we could see az show some care for her platonically (i dont know how to spell that, english is hard)’
So a big part of the story that I feel is extremely important, is finding a way to show Azriel still cares about reader despite how sour their relationship is currently? I won’t say what happens because obviously I don’t want to potentially ruin the experience for anyone, but it’s something I’ve had in mind since the second chapter, so I’ve had a lot of time to have it playing around which has definitely contributed to making me scared to write it 🫠
(And correct spelling! +10 points!)
‘they should get the awkwardness worked out and then stay friends for a while i feel like’
I’m so relieved you said the part about being friends for a little 🫠
Again, when it gets to that stage (eventually) I’ll try not to drag that out excessively 🤦
‘(which when i sent in that ask i started really thinking about how that conversation with the ic could go and i get why you're scared like the poor girl is going to go through it but it's necessary for better things!).’
Thank you for the comfort 😭
I really think I might make that one just a consecutive chapter? Like without any splits between scenes that has sometimes ended up happening in other parts? I don’t want to speak too much about how I feel about that scene since I really don’t want to give anything away, but yeah, I think the issue will be figuring out what sort of reactions different characters would have, who would act impulsively and who would remember to keep as calm as possible in that scene’s circumstances?
‘if this was a book i would have definitely finished it in one sitting, it's a really good story i hope you don't doubt that.’
I’m by no means a physical-comfort person, but I could definitely hug you right now, thank you 🫂
‘also are we getting more mer azzy soon?? he's very cute, i kind of imagine him like those cats that hiss when you get close but still want a pet - 🧶’
He’s being worked on in the background, and that’s a perfect description of him—sweet but a bit prickly 🧡💛
Reader is going to be a little dumb soon though, but luckily Azzie’s going to be there so it’s all going to be okay :)
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hello, i hope im not bothering you with this message. Im also someone who is in the sj server :(
i know you already heard a ton of apologies but i just want to say again how sorry i am for everything and hurting you that way. im autistic too and can understand your feelings so i feel extra extra bad. all of us feel like such assholes and wish more than anything we could take everything back and have never talked that way before. im so sorry to hear how much heartache this has caused for you
you definitely didnt do anything wrong and we were 100% the ones who fucked up on this so im just so sorry you have been feeling depressed about this when we're the ones that are the assholes
im genuinely wishing you the best and hope that you feel better soon. its not fair for all your fun to be ruined when we were the ones who did something wrong :(
tysm for saying that, I really appreciate it ;( truly, I hope people just be more mindful in the future and don’t want anyone just stewing in feeling bad 🫶
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day one of *unknown amount of time water fast :)
I'm trying for a really long fast, so I find I stick to it better if I pretend as if there is no end goal. trying to trick my brain into thinking its short term, I guess.
I didn't sleep at all, I was too busy reading comics all night and morning to distract from my cravings and then I decided to actually get out of bed and was immediately going for the milk to put in my tea because my mom was talking to me about something and I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and then she mentioned something along the lines of humans are disgusting, and it sadly triggered my ed brain, as if to say, disgusting?? not me though, right? I don't want to be disgusting!
so anyway, I put the milk back and have decided to start my fast :)
if you've gotten this far, do you have a favorite tea flavor?? I'm pretty basic with tea, my all-time favorite is earl grey black tea by full circle market! idk why but we always carry a variety of fun teas and I always go for that one lol. I've tried some other brands of earl grey as well, but they just don't seem to cut it. and I swear the amount of caffeine that's in black tea far out ways all the other caffeinated teas. I used to drink coffee religiously but somehow after covid my tolerance for caffeine has become nonexistent :(
oh, also fun lil fact about me is that I tend to put cinnamon in nearly everything I consume lol. can you overdose on cinnamon? Jesus I hope not, I especially love it in tea but idk if that would somehow break my fast so I'm doing without it for now. as I write out my worries, I see how non sensical my brain can be sometimes :}
unrelated but why is it that every little thing that comes out of my moms mouth just get under my skin so easily?? for once she wasnt putting me down, but even so she was still in a really negative space and was just briefly mentioning how animals deserve more than humans as humans are disgusting and selfish and animals are innocent and pure. thats fine to think that way i suppose as it doesnt really harm anyone but shes been prioritizing strays over her own kids my whole life and so of course i have some sort of resentment towards the subject. i just feel the need to protect my own kind over another and she feels very differently i guess, yet other times will preach the complete opposite and it makes me question what she would do in an emergency situation.
idk this is all so fucking dumb, maybe i just want to pick any old fight for the sake of it rather than caring about the subject at hand, it all sounds so stupid and unimportant but my whole life she made sure i knew that i ruined her life for being alive but her dog has saved her life just by existing. why didnt i get out of this sooner? no one tells you there is more help available when you are a kid, and now that im not, i feel far more helpless than i did before. no one tells you it will be this way. how could they though? its all too heavy.
*excuse my poor punctuation and capitalization if you are reading this, im too tired to correct it all lol
current mood: cringeworthy doom and gloom type vibe so far today
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#ed bllog#ed relapse#tw ana diary#tw ana shit#ed vent#tw ed diet#tw ana fast#ed disorder#edblrr#ed behaviour tw#starv3#starv1ng#i wanna be weightless#i wanna be perfect#i need escapism#i need music#Youtube
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Hi!!
Is your Atiny secret Santa
I'm so sorry I was mia for so long I swear I didnt forget about you! I just didnt come online much; It was my birthday week so I guess that already answers part of your question heheh
SanHwa is such an amazing duo to have as biases!! (and yes, Wooyoung absolutely comes with the package hahaha)
Honestly... I could easily be ot8 cause just like you I start to talk about my biases and then start adding the others cause like... They are all amazing
You have been an Atiny way longer than I have! They really caught my attention during kingdom Which Changmin was the MC of and I never made the connection but YES!!! he and Hwa really have very similar vibes!! (tho Hongjoong at 2020 Mama had me intrigued as well)
Have you been on tumblr since the beginning or are you new to this part of the fandom?
idk how involved you are and if I would be exposing myself if I told you my bias line, so I'll refrain for now hahah
Any favorite moments from your biases?? Together or individually...
Hope you are having a good weekend!!
omg noooooo don't worry about that! happy birthday! I hope it was wonderful, did you do anything special? I love that you give yourself a whole week, it is absolutely deserved.
They’re so precious, I like my idols talented but also a little cringe, and those two (well, four) are extra ridiculous. I love when they start being menaces to each other, especially the short kings. They’re all my little cousin’s age, and I’m just so fond of them in the same way I am about her (the fact San had the audacity to be born on the same day as her, of course he’s the way he is).
Kingdom was so much fun fjelsjklejsk Changmin is my absolute favorite of all so I was on board even before the groups were announced and I spent the whole time like Changmin… look at him… he is you… One of my best friends on here became my bestie because we started writing reviews of Kingdom as a professional theater designer and a former semi-serious singer, and we spent the whole time like is it this serious? No. But also yes it very much is, here’s another eight hundred words about this three-minute stage. We tried to be objective but so much of it was "Did you HEAR San do that?!" And oh my god Hongjoong is SUCH a good physical actor, he was so good at the 2020 MAMAs, I love when he embraces it and takes center stage. I’m taking dance classes to improve my acting now and then he kicks me while I’m down by claiming he’s not good smh like Uta would love him.
I’ve been on Tumblr far too long, but not in this corner, I don’t know anyone lmao. A handful of users really ruined Ateez Tumblr for me (they were racist AND wrote rpf smut, like, pick a struggle) so I stayed away, but they’re probably a sliver of a minority so I’m trying again. So you can give me a little hint, I swear I won’t know haha.
This is the single greatest moment of all, he’s insane for this. He did all that for free for a face cam. EGOT when?!?! But I won’t lie, my heart absolutely melts every time Wooyoung gets someone to cuddle with him, and that video where Hongjoong goes to check on Wooyoung and San and then tells them to get a little more sleep and they immediately launch themselves at each other for more snuggles… your honor, those are brothers.
How about you? Or if you won’t share who your favorite members are, just a good moment?
Have a wonderfully restful weekend and enjoy the rest of your birthday celebrations!
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omgieeees ive been waiting and checking tumblr at literally regular intervals waiting to hear back from you <3
i feel like youre starting to get a bit sick of him... 😂 if the definition of crush is wanting to kiss sumun, i wouldnt say i was crushing on him, i just kind of liked him? it was really weird, this whole thing made no sense from the start, sis.
NO i disagree, it would be super weird to date sumun who looks like you, that feels like something straight out of narcissism. i could never, but im also indian and ive never liked any indian guys (i dont live in india to be fair tho) although maybe there's something slightly resembling me in the guys ive liked if we look too hard? idk. idts tho.
she has pretty eyes! she has his eyes, but they're different somehow. more detailed? LMAO i just really love eyes in general; i could recognize all of my friends from their eyes rather than their face 💀
yeahhh i dont like him anymore, its something weird between friends and not. distance would be great, and im getting that in a way because were off school for half term, although i have his snao and we do streaks so im technically seeing him every day.
any thoughts on the buzz cut tho? (in general)
high time for a new crush indeed 🙌 im looking but no one else has caught my eye :/ any ideas how???
sorry sorry for the rant omg 😭 somehow i enjoy telling this story because of how complex it is but i like telling it to you as well ❤ idk something about you makes me wana tell you the whole tea lol.
i get what you mean, i think its great that they have good communication and all because all healthy relationships are built on that, but idk we're teenagers so the thought of telling my bf "hey by the way this guy ive been having that weird spat with told me he didnt like me today, what about you?" is just... off. the fact she evens knows i exist because of that (or if he told her even before which is sus because he did the doing before innit) seems... awkward. it just feels really cringey, man. most things, not all things tho.
maybe tell someone but not ur gf, that feels disrespectful to both of us in some weird way.
damn right. he actually had a bit of a stutter around me when we first met! its gone now, but weve also spent a while around each other. hmm, i get that; obviously there's definitely a lot of people he would find attractive at our school (we have some genuine REALLY pretty gils here, like, super hot) (as you can tell, i am bi ❤) but hes not staring at all of THEM in a sus way. like, this was a whole thing. hes not gt a thign with all of them.
yeah, well, i dont want to DATE him if that makes any sense so its good he doesnt, but like, idk man. i hope he wants to stay with her because if they break up because of me its not going to end well in a lot of ways because im sure that me and C.S.M.B wouldnt last, even if we did date, his gf would hate me forever and rightfully so, and her bestie, my bitchy friend, would not mind her own fucking bsuiness and ruin things in the friendship group for me so lets hope whatever it is no beef goes down 🙏 also i dont like him because i know him better this year, so it would be a whole problem so its good the way it is 👍
all i need him to do is start talking to me regularly and then we can be friends and i can focus on my future crush 👌
its deffo fun and I NEED TO GET A NEW CRUSH BUT IDK HOW MAN ANYONE CAN YOU HELP ME OUT easier said than done ofcccccc
yayyy i really hope you like that playlist, i live breathe eat those songs, so lets give C.S.M.B a round of applause for helping me come up with it 👏
hmm, maybe. its a bad law :/
oh, hes definitely scared of me. he listens to me when im talking to other people and im a BEAST in class (and outside) so hes rightfully scared of me 👍 its absolutely hilarious but i think he was more confused
well, we were on the bus, and i said "guys we should come up with a nickname so other people dotn know who we mean" and my friend was like... "...what about toothpaste?" i think she saw an ad for toothpaste somehwere lmaooo any other explanation would be... ...questionable.
i would love for that too. shes probs hot so i wouldnt say no to that 🤣🥴😏😈
i wonder what your followers think about this series lol, The Very Deep and Complicated Love Life of Sythe ? someone give this sitcom a name 💀 i hope they're not too sick of it lmaoo i know this has nothing to do with him :/
but thank you so much for listening to me ranting about C.S.M.B, i appreciate it so much!!! <3
here is an anakin for you:
this is my favourite anakin ever, hayden looks very hawt and sexc in this <3
i alos possess a rare coloured edition of this photo 😈
anywaysss bye oli love u!
i also really like eyes 🤭 and i get it, i just think you should fixate on someone else bc there are plenty of cuties and this one seems like a dead end. take the trash out 😂🗑 i have no idea how to find a new crush…maybe start trying to intentionally pay attention to other people in your school/your life? see if anyone seems interesting or cute hehe
it’s funny cause when i was in high school i was listened to T Swift You Belong With Me and hyper focusing on small interactions with my crush and i haven’t been in high school for years but ppl are still doing that same exact thing 😂 i guess high school never changes. now that i have an *adult brain* though, i can tell you that you should be focusing on people who are nice to you and if he can be a good friend great, but if not, boy bye
thank you for my Anakin. this concludes this episode of the sad beautiful tragic love life of sythe 😂
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i have words to say. if you know me irl either dont read this or just dont mention it to me. everyone else go ham but dont say i didnt warn you
i just cant. its both that simple and far more complicated. i dont know what or how to feel. i dont know why i feel anything.
i cant just stop talking to people because i always have something i want to say, so just know if i vanish one day odds are im full on dead/in a hospital somewhere.
i dont want to think about the future, its unlikely and uncertain. do i have a future? not at this rate. its too hard to fucking think for me to learn anything.
i do not think i will finish highschool at this rate. if i do it will be with low low marks. and i will be a faliure. so i have less than two years to prepare for that.
i was smart in prep, why couldn't that continue past year 6?
i know why, actually. theres probably a few reasons. one of thems the (until recently, undiagnosed) autism.
the other reason is her.
i fucking hate her. i genuinely hope she dies. i tried to strangle her once. it was both fun and not at the same time, if that makes sense.
before you judge me for attemped murder that i have not been charged with please know that it was rather called for.
because she fucking. i dont know. ill use my big boy words. it'll be hard for me to do but honestly what does it matter, im already fucking upset.
this is your big old warning for s/a. will mark off section end with more red text.
fucking hell i feel sick. seriously sick. but uts like this every time i remember. like my stomachs burning. and i can tell im on the verge of tears, too. or maybe im just really fucking tired.
she essentially sexually abused me for about a year. give or take a month or two, i cant fucking remember. theres things i havent told anyone about, and never will.
i think i want to try and describe it. youre not obligated to read it, so. dont do that if its going to upset you.
october 31st, 2020 hardly counts as anything in my opinion. but it still feels gross. she decided that an appropriate game for her to play was "truth or dare but if you dont wanna do it you strip". these are twelve year olds at the time, mind you. so she had her boyfriend on the phone, on a video call, and did that. i, naturally, was obligated to engage. i did not enjoy it. i said plenty that i dont wanna but you know, i was fucking stupid. i let her convince me. I couldve walked home.
the second time i dont havs a date for, but it was mid november 2020. we were on a school camp. the entire thing sucked, i had terrible hayfever one day and was declined medicine for several hours. they also tried to feed us meat wrapped in bread that was then deep fried. thats not really relevent. moving on from shit camp food. while i was trying to go to bed (note. my bunk ladder was in the back corner of the room) she managed to (mostly undressed for her, as in just her undies. not to be graphic but thats how it is) she managed to pin me in the corner. she was a few inches taller than me, so i could hardly just move. i can only vaguely remember beyond that. it wasnt bad bad that time.
there were other people in the room for part of it. they dont remember. i havent said anything because i dont want them to feel to blame. but holy shit. why didnt they do anything.
then theres very early december 2020. this one was just. yeah. the one, i guess. the big bad or something.
(side note if my phrasing disintegrates its because yours truly is having some kind of intense anxiety attack. i think. either way i would love to kill myself right about now. whatever. but its really vivid in my mind right now so i might as well put it down.)
i just dunno. how do i even put this, really. she uh. okay. if someones wearing lovely thin cotton pyjamas lets not ruin the fabric for them, for starters. i liked those pyjamas. its a real shame. i just fucking cant.
she just. yeah. i dont think i even have to say. she did stuff, she made me do stuff, all while i made it perfectly obvious how unhappy i was. i couldnt do anything about it, much as i wish i couldve. because im too pathetic to fight. i basically froze up. she held my head down. so that i had to do it. i didnt say that was okay. i didnt say any of it was omay.
and to the other person who was there, i dont blame you. you were thirteen. you couldn't have done anything. besides, i think you were playing BATIM so like. beat those ink demons (i havent played bendy).
i didnt sleep that night. until about 3 in the morning. i dont know man.
she "tried" to kill herself the next night. i use quotations because im fully convinced she was manipulating me. she said she felt bad and couldnt live with herself. so why do it again, huh? she fucking lied to me, didnt she. im gonna be honest im just realising this and im so fucking mad. i contacted her mother to make sure she was okay.
theres more examples. just smaller things like publicly grabbing my tits in front of a group of people encouraging her to do so but theyre just numbers now. numbers and occasionally vivid memories. including shit like trying to fuck me in a school bathroom. more than once mind you.
i also fucking hate the girl who decided to be all touchy in the middle of class and i couldn't move where i was sat because it was a partners activity and we were paired up. but eh, she just generally sucks. its whatever.
end section you are safe (?) from here or something
even if you didnt read that section. its just long okay. so damned long. im so done.
look at me. or dont. i actually look like shit. if i had facial hair id be classed as a Wet Cat™. i kinda wish i was tbh... wild. i havent washed my hair in a couple weeks, havent brushed it is i think three days. i have not showered properly because i dont have the fucking energy. its one of those bath-shower hybrids and i turn the water up high and lie down in it because i cant even find the energy to fucking sit up. i havent brushed my teeth in days, maybe weeks, i cant remember. it doesnt matter if i take my meds or not. yet i still apparently "look nice" or something but people lie all the time.
the main reason i cut my hair so short is because i cant fucking maintain it. believe me, i wanted it long. i wanted to plait it and feel pretty. but i just couldn't. i didnt brush it or wash it, i pulled it out, like always. so now i have a mullet and theyre notoriously shit in my town dare i say whole country so noone seems to care.
i think the only times ive slept well recently are after being incredibly drunk. which is concerning. i mean. im sixteen, i know i shouldnt be drunk ever, but if it works, it works. i think i sleep on average about 6 or 7 hours a night, which is not necessarily bad, but its all just fucking abstract nightmares.
at least i dont vape though. thats a win. i have before, do not recommend, very yuk burnt my lungs i think. real talk though if you do i feel ya man everyone does something they shouldn't.
lore drop or something, tumblr user veggiefritters got soft-expelled once! i was suspended forever! all i did was physically fight a few teachers and another student. but she deserved it. and so did they, i daresay.
what did i do after that day? i rode home like usual. i went to my sisters room (she doesnt live here so i slept in there while my old room was being renovated to a lounge room) and i watched youtube until my dad got called by school. then i talked to him. it sucked. then i ate a few nuggets for dinner and tried to kill myself. then, upon that failing, i went to sleep.
i didnt go to school for two months. like. i wasnt enrolled anywhere. family law or some shit, my parents need to hurry up and divorce.
i went to a new school, it was fine, fine, fine, then it wasn't, so i left. i went to a new school, its still fine, thats irrelevant. besides, i have to go there. only public 11/12 school in the town.
but you know what? nothings fine. nothings okay. i just want to be okay, you know? i just want to be innocent. i don't want the past to be the way it is. i with i remembered it all, because while some might say its good that i dont? its terrifying to not know for sure whats happened to you.
i dont like smelling something specific and remembering shit like the eevee themed lunch we made, or the pancakes we made in a saucepan, or the time we tried to solve cicada 3301 for the hell of it. i dont want to sound bittersweet, i dont want to sound like i miss it, but i do, in some weird way.
even though it was clearly manipulation i miss the way she trusted me.
its probably my fault, too, i shouldnt be such an easy target.
if like to tell all of this to my cousin, because i know he'd listen. i know he wouldnt laugh at me. but how does one go about that? i guess i cant. whatever.
shit, man. i dont even know. i went i think a year s/h free? and i was so damn proud of myself. then i dont know what happened. i just broke. and im still not better.
i just think to myself maybe this will be the one that kills me. maybe this one will hit an artery and i can just fucking die.
in my mind, dying feels okay if its on accident. but im seriously considering it at this point because what the fuck else am i meant to do man. im wandering around aimlessly in my own head most of the time. hardly even thinking, just trying to will myself out of existence.
im nothing more than a fucking marionette and whoevers pulling the strings is a sadist.
theres your obligatory shit poetry. i should get that printed on a cap.
ive just moved slightly wrong and its like im tearing my own skin apart. yeow.
ive been writing this at least an hour, i think ive used up 20% of my phones charge! but thats irrelevant. i dont use my pjone much, contrary to peoples belief. i rot my mind with The Computer instead. sometimes the little screen hurts and i need the big screen.
im sorry this is so long. i have a lot of thoughts going on tonight. have a break with a photo of my cat before i keep sobbing. or 4 i guess lucky you. this is shego shes one and shes a little shit. the ants got to her food so she ate them. she refuses to let me take a nice picture of her.
cats, man.
back to me literally crying now.
im scared. im scared of the future but thats common so it doesn't matter. im scared of the past but thats irrelevant. im scared right now because im in bed and its dark so there might be someone there that i cant see.
im scared people will socially exile me again for the things i like, im scared i dont really know any of my friends, im scared ill make a mistake big enough to get me in prison even though technically i already have a few times and nothing happened, im scared people hate me as much as i hate myself.
and fuck, do i hate myself.
what am i good for? i guess people like my writing but what if theyre making that up. sometimes i like my writing too and i go batshit insane over my own characters. but it feels so selfish, i guess.
(i intrude upon myself. i would like a scone right about now)
anyway. what else do i do that people like. im in charge of kids clothing visual merchandising at work. i work in a second hand store, the options for outfits are many. but i dont know. im the youngest person who works there, so what if theyre lying to me?
im creative, apparently. hey, sure, id like to tell myself that but i dunno if i can. i really think i peaked in year two with that.
what have i got about me that people like so much they want to talk to me, because i know damn well its not my appearance. i am fucking ugly. in a weird way. not that my eyes are too far apart or anything i just look dead.
i dont know. i need to let myself live life to the fullest or something but i cant.
i cant just live. its weird.i want to be alive but at the same time its tiring, too tiring, and i dont know what to do about it other that just give in.
you know. give up, and die. how is irrelevant. im so fucking tired, okay.
i dunno. i guess i wonder if anyone would really miss me if i died. but it feels like a selfish thing to wonder. im not sure.
if you want me at my weakest and you want to make me suffer, its your time to shine because right now i am at the lowest ive been in a while.
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im honestly kinda sad that among us died
it wasnt my favorite game of all time, and it wasnt even the best game ever made and had some serious game design flaws, but man. I miss the inherent chaoticness of a lobby and feeling like an ace detective when u catch an impostor and watching hours upon hours of youtube vids/twitch streams trying to "git gud".
among us blew up at the perfect time, when the pandemic kept people indoors and fall guys was dying due to the amount of hackers ruining it. Despite it being published 2 years prior at the time, it was able to blow up insanely quickly and save innersloth.
among us seemed like it was one top of the world. everywhere u looked there was among us. it was infectious. everything had an among us character plastered on top of it. vovid was still out there and airborne, but bro, among us was the deadlier virus (not actullay. this is a joke. /j haha dont kill me pls)
and then... it proceeded to not get updates for like. a year.
huh.
i know obviously game development takes a long time, and i dont wanna blame innersloth for being the downfall of among us, since they were clearly trying their best to adjust to all this new attention and popularity and they simply just got in over their heads but dude.
all that lack of meaningful content over the years outside of the big map updates really killed the hype. people simply got bored of it, and went onto other things. I did too. i got bored of playing the same maps over and over, and began to drift off into other stuff. i came back briefly to play around with the new roles update, and i had fun! especially with the shapeshifter role, that was my fav (i mean, they kinda just stole the idea from the roles mod, but hey, it was good there so it's good here).
but the problem was that it came out too late. most people didnt play anymore. most people grew used to only having 2 roles, and refused to activate any of the new roles in their lobby settings.
I just... didn't care about among us anymore to bother playing it.
btw heere;s my ranking of the maps:
Skeld (classic, never gets old, always fun, tho the doors are a bit annoying as crew)
Mira (delicious upside down Y shape my beloved, fun for both crew and imp, but i never could figure out the logs)
Polus (dont play it often since my brain associated it with like. tournament lobbies and sweaty among us competitors, but i love watching vids of others playing it)
Airship (fuck this guy. who thought it was a good idea tomake this the biggest one with the most complicated layout and the most rooms and that goddamn procedurally generated elec maze. any time some asshole with better internet connection than you takes the lil moving platform, you have to walk alllllllll the way around thru the records room, then through showers, through main hall, down the staircase at the end, thru engine room, up the hall in engine room, through the brig, [YES. I STILL REMEMBER THE ENTIRE LAYOUT. IT'S BURNED INTO MY MEMORY] then when youve FINALLY arrived at the other end and do ur task and are ready to go back... some asshole comes down from the meeting room ladder and takes it away from you. fuckighffjhfdjhdfjdfs)
I havent played the newest one so idk where to rank it. it looks pr cool tho. I also havent played the 5up map but it looks cool too.
idk what this whole rant was for. idk if it resonated w/ anyone, or if anyone shares the same feelings as me about this dumb lil astronaut game. but uh. im sad among us died since i think it had a lot of potential.
ya so i hope u enjoyed readin my word vomit???
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Jan 14th- sunday sunday sunday
i meant to write all week but didnt.. so much happens, all the time.
I stopped to get gas one morning this week. Thursday? yes, thursday i know because i ran that morning and showered before work. As i was getting my gas i just happened to look over at the pump across they way from me and there were 2 guys checking me out.. it made me smile.. they were kids but still.. i looked behind me and there was another guy checking me out.. it use to make me feel a certain way.. not a good way- but this day- it made me feel good and also i get it.. i look good so i really cant blame them for looking..
tuesday i saw James and everything felt heavy. i lifted less but more reps which was fine with me. i was not feeling it..Thursday i dead lifted 200lbs.. another personal record. apparently this is what we do.. we dead lift. there is no limit as to how much we lift. my knees feel better. i ran a few times this week.. not real far.. 3miles. i ran friday morning in my neighborhood.. in the daylight. first time. i feel like i am making progress.. i have this thing about not being seen.. bizarre considering all i really want is to me seen .. but i'm also scared of being seen but i said fuck it.. i didnt have enough time to drive to the park and i really wanted to run.. so i did.. i'm not sure who saw me nor do i care.. progress.
i was in my feelings at the start of the week. there is a guy in my neighborhood who gives me an icky feeling. i know him but i dont. our daughters were friends in elementary school. i dont think he knows me.. but he smokes cigarettes and watches me run in the am. he reminds me of X.. i drove by his house one night and he was smoking with the door open. something X would have done..smoke in the door way -not really outside- smoke goes in the house.. anyway. i heard this guy leave early monday morning.. absurdly early. 4 ish. it reminded me of x, only he would leave at 3 something to go see his baby momma and his baby.. it brought back memories of the bullshit that i lived through and how messed up it all was .. i didnt deserve to be treated they way i was treated considering what X was up to. is this neighbor guy up to no good.. who knows..i'm just glad i don't have to worry about anyone doing me dirty. its kind of weird what can trigger a memory.. the great news is ..it's all great news.. the past doesnt matter- here now!!!
New York!! such a great time. Dancing in times square! Times Square.. electric.. I was so glad to share the experience with Madison. We went to a museum to see Taylor swifts clothes. MAds is going to London in Aug to see swift- and wants me to go. I am on the fence. i need to make a decision by the end of this week. I am amazed by the number of people in the city.. amazed.. it was a fun visit and i would like to go back. weird thing.. we went to lunch and the other mother we were with was super excited when she saw alcohol on the menu .. i told her i was going to have an iced tea because caffeine.. it was like i ruined the party.. i told her to go ahead and order a drink.. she declined. it made me feel weird.
i made it 10 days.. 14 days porn free and vibrator free.. it was a lot of work to make myself orgasm-i'm just happy i could do it without watching porn.
I got myself a book light and i absolutely love it.. and it was on sale. it makes reading in bed so much better.. just a little light.. i actually really love it. im still reading the Bhgavad gita.. i'm still excited for this year.. not so much this winter.. it is cold and i am over it. i think we are getting snow. i hope it isnt true. I am falling in love with myself more and more each day. it sounds weird to say, type, think, feel.. i am in a love affair with me.. i am looking forward to having next weekend off.. i am still waiting for my King... i hope he is somewhere happy. someday i will tell him about all the days i prayed for him before i knew him.
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hey man, you reblogged a post by feluka about how it feels for your language to be seen as frightening by society, and the tags you left were really insensitive. maybe you missed the tone of the post, but op wasn't being lighthearted or funny about it. op is arab and it was a post about oppression. they were specifically talking about their experiences as an arabic speaker and kept it vague because other marginalized groups (such as black folk who use AAVE) get a similar treatment. that post is not the place to make a joke about the german language sounding a little aggressive. obviously you can do whatever you want, but if you care about not being insensitive to people of color, i highly suggest deleting those tags.
were they? german is pretty much THE stereotypical "language that sounds frightening/harsh" of europe. Ive heard more people online make fun of its offputtingness than any other, but maybe thats just my bubble of experience.
not trying to invalidate people who suffer more from it than me of course. were i not talking about my mother tongue from wich i didnt have to suffer yet, i wouldntve made a "joke" about it. because in the cases of marginilized groups who *do* suffer under this oppression, it is a serious topic.
ill delete the tags, i dont want to offend anyone afterall.
i do think that youre being a little harsh with me here though.
"you can do whatever you want, but if you care about not being insensitive to people of color" sounds a tad bit guilt-trippy. not saying that was your intention ofc.
hope i didnt ruin anyones day with that. was just being silly about my personal experiences.
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rampage thoughts
i didnt know anything about shibata so he's completely new to me, absolutely loved the fight with orange cassidy. i loved the little exchanges. i love seeing OC get fired up during a fight. really enjoyable even with zero context for why ppl are so hyped to see shibata fight!!!
TONI STORM FINALLY GETS SOME PLOT???? and its fairly GOOD plot too??? and they were ROOMMATES --
no seriously i'm so fucking excited to see toni vs jamie at full gear. i hope its gonna be a fucking banger of a match. i dont mind the "fighting champion" plot and toni just having matches for the sake of having matches cause she's amazing to watch, but im VERY glad shes finally getting some character development. i hope she plays a part in the jamie/britt split too for when jamie finally gets recruited into the blackpool combat club (dream booking but i stand by it)
britt&jamie vs skye&madison was actually really good??? when skye and madison rayne teamed before it didnt make sense to me but this fight made a lot more sense, going off purely the in-ring stuff. (considering there's no build-up outside of the ring thats all we got to go off anyway) it's clearly intended as a mentor/mentee relationship and giving skye her chance to shine, and this match really told that story. she was stellar in the ring and she was QUICK and fun to watch. i like how she got WAY more ring time than madison rayne! it made me excited to see the jamie vs skye match on next dynamite
OH and we went an ENTIRE match without anyone saying "ladies" on commentary DURING the match!!!!!! JR ruined it either after the match or later in the episode though when announcing a future match (cant remember which point exactly)
jericho sammy tension?? okay i guess
sammy wanting a bryan danielson 2 out of 3 falls match. sammy g you will never be daniel garcia. shoo get off my screen.
i dont get the ricky starks hype and this promo did very good work at making me Not Get It even more. seriously. saying AEW is crumbling left a very weird taste in my mouth, calling out internet beef is strange. i like it when he does the pose i guess? maybe if one day i Get ricky starks then ill eat my words i promise
i have more theories on the JAS vs BCC match at full gear but ill get back to those in a separate post cause its just more fantasy booking because i turn very one track minded when it comes to BCC
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