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#i really wish I had more to suggest
bonheur-cafe · 1 year
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Someday we will see Tarlos bone again. Today is not that day.
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madame-mongoose · 2 months
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whoag
listen we all love love Wheatley but he’s like a whore who doesn’t know what sex means. The whole time he’s moaning and stuff in Chapter The Itch he like has no idea what’s going on he just wants to keep feeling good.
he’s be like “dirty talk? Well uhm yeah I can talk about. Dirt. You know sediment shaped sediment is apparently a really good garnish for cake. That’s what I hear anyways. I sure do love... sand. Dust. Is this— is this working okay? Doesn’t dirt just put you in the mood to um. Please I want thgat feeling again”
NO YEAH EXACTLY YOU GET IT LMAOOOO ive literally had discussions on how bad at dirty talk he would be. he'd only say something good on accident every once in a while
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these are some of my favorites bc they made me laugh really hard
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statementlou · 1 year
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OH I really need your opinion about Louis being so emotionally intelligent, I think it's barely even talked about it here
ARE people not talking about it? What a funny thought! As a post-hiatus fan, I'm accustomed to thinking of myself as something of a newcomer, even though it's been years now, so it's weird to realize I've been here long enough to see patterns and trends come and go and come again. It's even weirder the way trends in fandom can be completely forgotten and erased when the boys, in contrast, eternally exist in all times at once, everything they've ever said considered to be equally valid to their current lives whether they said it 12 years ago as teens or just yesterday as whole ass adult men! Anyway my point is, there was certainly a time when Louis' emotional intelligence was discussed a lot, AS IT SHOULD BE. For sure so much when Walls came out it was... those LYRICS!! Yes, without that gift he's still gorgeous and smart and embodies a unique and bewitching gender presentation and has a beautiful and captivating singing voice… I guess there are a lot of other reasons people might like him. But to me the thought of that not being the top of anyone's "why Louis" list is bananas, it feels so absolutely central and necessary to understanding what makes him special!
It's certainly a lot of what makes his songs resonate with people- he's a skillful lyricist, he could craft clever little twists of phrase and metaphors regardless, but it's his emotional intelligence that sets him apart imo. He describes it as honesty, and yes- the willingness to be vulnerable and reveal your feelings is special, but what I don't know if he even really realizes is that for so many people it's not just an unwillingness to open up honestly like he does, it's that they are genuinely unable to identify and understand and name what's happening inside them like that. I think it comes so naturally to him that maybe it can be hard for him to recognize that that experience isn't universal.
I really appreciate that you used the words emotional intelligence specifically, I love that phrase; I think framing it as a form of intelligence is correct and important. It's a skill set that is dismissed as "feminine" and so less important or easier to access than intellectual intelligence, but it's none of those things. And it's a minority of people who, like Louis, are both intellectually and emotionally very very sharp. I'd say it's a reason he was been able to stay such a good person in the face of things that can easily ruin people (being rich and famous from a young age, trauma and loss), and it's certainly what enables him to be so good at his job. It elevates his songwriting above the ordinary, but also it gives him the tools to do the dance of giving the public something to connect with and making it feel like he's completely open and present without actually giving away too much, which would be absolutely impossible without emotional intelligence- if you don't know your own boundaries or can't intuit on the fly what people respond to, it simply falls flat and seems forced. We've been seeing him exercise those skills close up and in person over the last few days in the signings, making everyone feel special and held and like they got a personal special moment without actually telling anyone anything much or going overtime or getting sucked in to any weird interactions! Again, something that would be nearly impossible without those kind of people skills.
It's actually really funny the way the discourse recently (speaking of changing tides in fandom) has been focused on the idea of Louis presenting himself as masculine (is there a relationship between that and the lack of chat about his EI? hm), when I feel like in the past he was the most feminized by fandom, and not because of his mannerisms or look, but because of his willingness to embrace his emotional intelligence- to cry/ talk about crying openly, to share readily about his feelings and be vulnerable, all these things coded as feminine. He himself has said that he doesn't think he's anything special in this regard (or especially feminine, I think is part of the subtext to that) because Northern Brit men are just like that. I'm from the US so I'm not the one to really respond to that, but it seems to me that does contain some truth- I have seen a willingness to cry openly, to talk about vulnerabilities, etc, in other men with public personas from up there- but I think that again, what we're saying is that's he's showing more than just that, that we're talking about his emotional intelligence quotient being unusually high, which is not a regional characteristic, but a personal one.
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Blog Update • December 24, 2023
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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Not triggering just personal
I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.
And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!
I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year
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megtheviper · 4 months
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Begging for the normalization of adults wearing clip-on jewelry... 😮‍💨
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mejomonster · 8 months
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U know how sometimes you feel a bit (and that bit can vary wildly) sad about how many flaws you have (which is normal and human) and how much growing you can do (which is a good goal but perhaps self destructive once you're putting off A Certain Amount of life until you've done "more work" with that goal post of "more work" always moving farther even though at a certain point you should probably accept that every person is somewhat flawed and always needs to grow more and it's okay to Actively Live one's life and enjoy it DURING that endless process of growing)
Well I certainly feel that way again. I feel like all I should do in my free time for the next 3 months (rather than play or create or self care) is do workbooks for healing and growing. And that I shouldn't bother with my life goals again until I've completed the workbooks At Minimum. (And my instincts are saying ummm that plan sounds like a touch workaholic and avoiding actually living life and isolating)
#rant#i just. i decided i want a loving relationship. its been many years. id like to date again#so i. as usual when i have a problem. looked up HOW#well i read 1 book about physical and thought process changes i can make. and it suggested date within 3 weeks. among other tjings#and so i looked up INTERNAL work to find love. because perhaps if i can fix whatever INTERNALLY draws me to only run into unavailable people#will allow me to start running into AVAILABLE options instead. so i need to complete this 300 page therapy workbook.#and theres no point doing the date within 3 weeks if im only able to ask out unavailable people currently.#so ill do the date in 3 weeks AFTER i complete the workbook.#the workbook is exhaustjng and makes me cry but hey maybe itll help. anyway i wish someone had given it to me 5 years ago#but anyway to hqve time to do with workbook ASAP i dont have time for shows#and i rarely have time for Play anyway. something i hear i need.#because i got chronic illnesss wooh and a lot of my free time i need to go to doctors and physical therapy#and manage my diet (cause i have gastroparesis so if im not careful i Cant eat)#and also i need more muscle so my back stops fucking up.#and also i need time to meditate so my pelvic floor relaxes at least a little to lower the gi issues and pain.#so like.#and then also im sure friends would like to see me more.#meanwhile all i really wanna do? is go to a#cabin by the beach in rhe woods and sleep 2 days then eat cake then read and write my fucking novels
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starblaster · 2 years
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so i watched that kipo wonderbeasts show this weekend and i feel like it succeeded in places where avatar: the last airbender failed
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year
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It is all painfully coming together
#this is not to be alarming im simply referring to the drawing ive been busting my ass on since tuesday#which i worked considerably hard on yesterday... went for 7 straight hours really. and had to tear myself away from it to finally eat#and unhappily showered and went to bed for the night#i was making great progress relatively smoothly all day but when i left it i was at the point of spotting something i had to correct#so i was in quite a mood when i left it and feeling a lot of anguish picking it back up today#but i really am starting to get it more and more down how i think i ought to be. and the adderall will still be active in me for hours#here's to hoping i finish the damned thing today. it's due monday but i REALLY don't wanna even be doing the finishing touches tomorrow.#if im not spraying this thing w fixative to lock the charcoal in place by tonight im gonna be really unhappy#(it's due monday)#tales from diana#also my setup w two chairs (one for me to sit in and one to hold up my drawing board) is REALLY uncomfortable#when im drawing from life it's not so much a problem bc i hold it in my lap but this time i have a photo reference#and it's kinda just really messy to hold it on my lap w subtractive drawing anyway. i always end up erasing the corners w my sleeve.#i keep being locked in a leaning-forward manspreading position so i can get closer to my drawing to see it#it's like im ABOUT to sit up. but holding that position for hours at a time.#i wish i had a stool and eisele#is that the right spelling? it's what my phone suggested#it rhymes weasel and has no starting consonant. that thing that word.
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random thoughts don’t mind me
#just been thinking abt my name a lot lately and how i sometimes just really don’t feel like i have any real attachment to it anymore like#idk it started w me hating my full first name and my childhood nickname so i started going by kat in high school and it’s stuck which is#cool and nice and much better than the two alternatives. however the further i go into my trans journey the more im like hmmmmmm don’t think#i enjoy this name anymore either ! but i cannot think of any other alternatives so i just keep using it#i just wish my name had something more masc i could turn it into but idk anything and i can’t do my middle names either bc i fucking hate#both of those names so bad bc they’re my aunts names and she’s turned out to be a shitty shit person so i don’t want to even acknowledge em#also the like. two names ive thought of that are Close to kat are like. ehhhh bc one is literally my little cousins name so….weird. and then#the other one is the name of my ex that i met on here and she turned out to be a very not great person so idk if i want that one either#but it’s a nice lil name and i am a better person (meaning i don’t be weird and try talking to MINORS) so maybe i deserve the name more—#and also i literally can’t even think of any other names that aren’t close to my name already bc i don’t think i look like anything else#that i can come up with ????? so that’s hard. idk i’m just thinking out loud#this stuff weird bc i’ve never had to think about names for myself before bc i was always fine w my name but now it just feels like an old#version of myself i don’t match up with anymore and so im like ok well wtf do i do now!!!!!!!!!!#also if anyone reads this and has advice???? answers???? suggestions???? idk just words….??? about anything said i wouldn’t mind !!!
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maryonnaise · 2 years
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slasher au, some calebs, catboys, and a drawing of bunny with short dark hair holding a fish and staring at it with a look of mild disgust for some reason from my sketchbook. i only draw traditionally once a week during d&d, but i’ve almost filled up an entire sketchbook with scribbles.
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for some reason i feel worse when i see a wlw ship with my female f/os that i don't ship than if i see a mlw ship with my female f/os? and i think it's because a lot of the people shipping these things Are wlw and i want to interact with more sapphic fans of characters i love but i have to constantly see reminders of these ships and i guess they feel. more like competition or something. and i'm always worried this shit makes me a Bad Lesbian lmao
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moonjade · 2 years
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How the fuck do I act in an interview lmfao 🥴
#text#personal#i have to start applying to jobs soon 😭#and my mom suggested a hostess job since our acquaintance works there but i would rather Die than work a public-facing job again#like you don’t understand. I DO NOT WANT TO WORK. i have never had a dream job except for being an author but i don’t have the energy#or creativity for that anymore#but yeah i have to find a ~real job~ since i’ve graduated college and i have ‘skills’ (not actually though)#but anyways if i even make it to an interview round after applying how the actual fuck do i act#I’ve never had a ‘real’ interview bc I’ve only ever worked in fast food#am i supposed to kiss their ass? am i supposed to be honest? how honest? how much do i lie? do i even lie?#how do i explain the 8 month ‘gap’ in my resume lmfao. bc I can’t just say that I was moving for eight fucking months#ugh I really want to die like I would rather die than have to work 40-50 hours per week every week#like that sounds like absolute torture and i never lasted more than 2 months at my old jobs bc it got too overwhelming and hard to handle#i think there might be genuinely something wrong/off with me but idk what LMAO#i don’t think I can get disqualified from working or whatever bc I can technically work but I’ll burn through all of my energy#and literally be extremely depressed and miserable and have no time to do anything other than sleep and eat#i don’t even remember what I wrote at this point and I don’t care#the main point is that I hate working more than anything. i hate burning through all of my energy and having none left#I’m tired as fuck just writing this shit out. how the fuck am i supposed to get a real job and work it every day for the rest of my life#like there is NOTHING I enjoy laboring for. i wish I got paid to stream video games or post videos for a living but I’m not funny enough#or creative enough for that to work. plus idk how to stream or edit. and I know I’d get cancelled lmfao since my social skills are so poor#and I’d say something wrong. not even anything remotely bad but just word something wrong or use the ‘wrong’ word#ugh anyways. idk if I should tell my doctor all of this or if she’d even care (probably not)
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halfdeadfriedrice · 2 years
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It is probably a good thing that the fannish bug only hits me but rarely because I went back to rewatch some black sails (episode 7, that it would be an intolerable sacrifice to apologize!!! my favorite speech personally) and then I watched the whole thing and I could just CHEW on it forever
#as always my conception of love is 'i want to put it in my mouth'#b walked in for a fart joke scene and went 'do you wamna rewatch this' and i said yes so that was an easier sell than i expected#nice#it really all comes down to how much i really love pirates#i wish more space pirates did it for me conceptually space pirates are such a natural extension#but they never scratch the same itch#i wonder why#anyway re: episode 7 of bs#it opens!!#with a sweaty preacher#close up on the sweat dripping off of him onto the bible#evoking hell fire brimstone#as he stands in the cornfield practicing his speech#about how forgiveness (on easter sunday!) cant truly cover the sin#which infects and roils#and hes thinking about the sex he just had with ms barlow#who is so bored and desperate and dying in the colonies that she's enacting a counter scheme that suggests#running away to boston#and as the preacher is getting all sweaty about the sin (that we know is a central theme and applies to every character in the show)#(when we are talking about the possibility of taking a Pardon for Piracy)#(which means asking for Forgiveness)#(from England/the king/god)#(which means you were Wrong which means it was always a Sin)#Flints horse and a rider for him come crashing through the field#interrupting the very concept of sin#making a mockery of the setting and the sweat#having Business to be on#and then yes it continues to ideate and play out across multiple conversations and relationships#(also in this episode: 'i am tired of the effort it takes to believe in you') G O D#(AND the first hint of Him that He wouldnt like Flint's path! season 1! thats Thomas as a ghost that sends flint off onto a drunken bender)
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thefloralmenace · 3 months
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Somewhat on the vibe of "your glorious revolution doesn't exist," I want to talk to you all, especially the young folks, about effective anarchism.
Spoiler alert, it's not blowing stuff up or arson.
I am considered the most anarchical person of all among my friends. Granted, most of my experience has been wreaking anarchy against the systems present in my high school and college, but the principles are the same.
Practical anarchy is not the big, flashy, romanticizable thing people online make it out to be. It's more about the long haul - digging in your teeth and just being a menace that no one can really get rid of.
Everyone's "Why vote when you can firebomb a Walmart" posts (that they don't follow through on) are just not pratical because this is a surveillance society. With CCTV and DNA testing and cell phone cameras and GPS tracking, if you do something big like that, you are GOING to be caught; then that is the end of your anarchical career. And, keep in mind that you might get caught while you're setting up this big event - it's a crime to blow up a Walmart and also a crime to conspire to blow up a Walmart, so your career in anarchy might end before it begins, and then you are permanently out of the game. No matter what causes you were working for that inspired you to do something big and violent that you thought would get someone's attention, you now can't help at all ever again in your entire life. What you did will be a passing headline on the news, and then everything will go back to exactly what it was because big, acute actions can't compare in effectiveness to small, constant actions (just being a thorn in the side of the system, poking and poking, but unable to be dislodged).
This is just the practical side of it too: think about the risk of hurting innocents if you really advocate for doing things like that. You think blowing up a Walmart would really make a dent in that big of a corporation? But if you intentionally or unintentionally kill a bunch of Walmart shoppers, that's going to devastate families that had nothing to do with whatever your cause is.
So all that big talk about violence and destruction: not practical, not effective, not ethical.
The only way I've started to change oppressive systems around me is by justing chipping away from within the confines of the rules of these systems, and/or only stepping just outside them (never breaking rules in a big way that could have allowed said system to easily and "justifiably" get rid of me).
So if you're going to be an anarchist, you need to consider:
Having the longest career in anarchism possible (i.e. being careful enough and judicious with your actions so that you don't get expelled from the system you wish to fight).
And then for any given anarchical plan:
2. Potential consequences.
3. Insurance.
I'll give you an example. I had serious beef with the culture of my college's science department. Students were constantly overworked, and if they expressed their misery outloud or reached out to any of their professors about their struggles, they got apathetic responses if not direct insults to their abilities or dedication. I had too many similar disparaging interactions with professors in one week, and I realized a lot of the responses I was getting were just the result of professors not really knowing how they sounded when they said certain things to students (ex: If someone says they're struggling with a course, don't IMMEDIATELY respond with "change your major," - you can give that as an option, but if you make it your first suggestion, the implication to the student is that if they're having any trouble with the course, they're not good enough for the program).
So I wrote up a flier of examples of good and bad ways to respond to students having anxiety with explanations and distributed it to every professor in the department. Everyone who knew about this perceived it as a great personal risk - that I would get in some kind of unspecified trouble or piss off an important professor, so before embarking on this project, I considered...
Potential consequences: I couldn't really think of any specific college or department rules I could be violating. People postered and handed out fliers in the department all the time. What I was doing fell pretty clearly under freedom of speech. I just shoved the fliers under professors' doors, so I didn't trespass in anyone's office. Worst I could think is that individual professors would get mad at me and make my life difficult, or I'd simply be told to stop fliering in the department.
Insurance: Just in case there were any consequences that I didn't think of and to insure me against the ones I had thought of, I didn't put my name on the flier. It was typed in Word, something everyone had access to. I came in to do it after professors had all left for the day but before I needed to use my ID to get into the building (no electronic record of me being there). I took the elevator to the first floor offices because the stairs require ID swipe after 5pm, but the elevators do not. I found out the building had no cameras by asking about it on the grounds that something of mine had been stolen a few weeks prior. I shoved the flier under the doors of dark offices and left it outside offices with lights on (so that no one would come out and spot me). And here's one of the most important pieces of insurance: I put up a few of the fliers on public bulletin boards in the building. This was important so that if I slipped up and said something that conveyed that I had knowledge of the content of the flier, I would have an excuse for that, i.e., I read it on the bulletin board before class this morning.
And then I did the thing. And surprisingly, it was incredibly well-received by professors. A few who knew that the flier must have been mine (because of previous, similar anarchical actions rumored to be associated with me) told me that everyone was RELIEVED that they finally had an instruction manual from the student perspective on what the hell they're supposed to say when one of their students is panicking. It sparked a real change in the vibe of the department and student experience. Had it instead pissed people off, I would have simply said I could not claim authorship of the flier but had read it and thought it contained good ideas then gone on creating more anarchy while angry people grasped at the zero straws I had left them to pin the action on me.
That's an example of a single action I took that was part of a much longer (~3 years) campaign of mine to change the culture of my department. Everytime I did something in that campaign, I made that consequences vs. insurance calculation to make sure they couldn't expell me from the program, the department, or the school before I succeeded.
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