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#i reject the birthday canon and substitute my own
skyriderwednesday · 9 months
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Still liable to changes, but I have at last placed every single story into my chronology! I have also made some changes to the order of stories placed previously, based either on new information or their vibes. Comments and feedback are much appreciated.
The ‘Gloria Scott’ - Summer 1875 [1] (Framing: Winter 1882-3?)
The maths as stated don’t work, as 1855 + 30 = 1885, and these events can’t occur after A Study In Scarlet. 1875 would have to be Holmes’s second year of college. 
The Musgrave Ritual - Spring 1879 (Framing: Winter 1882-3?)
It is stated to have been four years since Holmes last saw Musgrave. Holmes mentions telling Watson about the events of ‘Gloria Scott’. Watson must be living at 221b at the time, as his intro describes Holmes’s extremely messy habits in terms of lodging with him.
A Study In Scarlet - January to March 1881
Watson states the date he discovered Holmes’s profession explicitly as the 4th of March, which was several weeks after they moved in together. I find it likely that it was at most mid-January when they met, and that Watson spent February observing Holmes’s habits and trying to figure him out.
The Resident Patient - October 1881
Watson describes these events as being ‘towards the end of the first year during which Holmes and I shared chambers’, and then specifies that it was October.
The Valley Of Fear - January 1882 [2]
It is stated to be ‘in the late eighties’, but Holmes appears to still be getting used to Watson’s sense of humour, which he claims is ‘developing’, which points to it being earlier while Watson is still recovering from his illness. Any later and Holmes would already be very familiar with his closest companion’s personality. It cannot be any earlier than 1882 however, since January 1881 is taken up by the events of A Study In Scarlet.
The Speckled Band - April 1883
The Yellow Face - Summer 1883
The Beryl Coronet - February 1884
The Copper Beeches - Early Spring 1884
Charles Augustus Milverton - Winter 1884
I get the feeling this is an earlier case, as Watson’s attitude is oddly naïve when it comes to morality and the ability of the law to handle Milverton. I cannot see him behaving like this/holding these beliefs if he has already experienced Moriarty with Holmes for instance. He is also very jumpy while he and Holmes are performing their burglary.
The Hound Of The Baskervilles - October 1885 [3]
Mortimer’s stick is dated 1884, and Holmes notes this was five years ago (making it 1889), but Watson neither appears to be married nor in medical practice, and since this story was explicitly written as to have occurred before Holmes’s ‘death’, this precludes it being set after 1888.  
The Greek Interpreter - Summer 1886?
The Reigate Squires - April 1887
The Sign Of Four - July 1887 [4]
It is stated to be July (later mistakenly stated as September) 1888, but this contradicts both SCAN (March 1888) and FIVE (September 1887). There also appears to be a pearl missing as Mary describes their delivery. 
The Cardboard Box - August 1887
Holmes mentions both A Study In Scarlet and The Sign Of Four by name -- which implies that Watson is a very speedy writer, as this would be only a few weeks later. However, this may be taken as self promotion on Watson’s part.
The Noble Bachelor - Autumn 1887
This story is dated to 1887 via Lord St. Simon’s age, but Watson is soon to be married -- which is not possible if he has not yet met his fiancée. Dating SIGN to July 1887 fixes this discrepancy. 
A Scandal In Bohemia - March 1888
Watson explicitly dates the start of this case to the 20th of March 1888, and states that he hasn’t seen Holmes for several months after his marriage (which would be in the late autumn to winter of 1887)
The Stockbroker’s Clerk - June 1888
Watson states that he acquired his practice ‘shortly after’ his marriage, and that he was too busy to visit Holmes at Baker Street for three months. Counting most of March as the first month (per SCAN), that takes us to the June he states, which is the first time Holmes has visited Watson at his practice. 
The Naval Treaty - July 1888
[The Second Stain - July 1888**]
I take it that the story of this name is heavily if not entirely fictionalised. This is when the real events that inspired it occurred.
The Crooked Man - Summer (August?) 1888
The Five Orange Pips - September 1888 [5]
It is stated to be September 1887, but even if SIGN occurred in July of that year, Watson and Mary have not married yet for him to be ‘staying at Baker Street’ while she is away visiting her (dead) mother.
The Boscombe Valley Mystery - Spring 1889
The Man With The Twisted Lip - June 1889
I place this after BOSC, as Holmes takes it as a given that Watson’s wife will not object to him sending a note and running off on a case in the middle of the night. (I suspect he’s wrong and will be due a bollocking after breakfast)
The Engineer’s Thumb - Summer 1889
The Dying Detective - November 1889
Watson describes this as happening in his ‘second year of marriage’, which, 1888 being his first, works out as 1889.
A Case Of Identity - September 1890
Holmes comments in REDH that the case of Mary Sutherland occurred ‘the other day’. 
The Red-Headed League - October 1890
The Blue Carbuncle - December 1890
Watson states it to be ‘the second morning after Christmas’, making it the 27th. When discussing cases that didn’t involve a crime, Holmes cites the events of SCAN, IDEN, and TWIS. This also lines up with the publication order, BLUE being the seventh short story, and Watson states that of the ‘last six cases’ he has written up, three of them were legally free of crime (morally however…)
The Final Problem - April to May 1891
Holmes has apparently been working in France since ‘the winter of 1890’ when he suddenly shows up in Watson’s consulting room on the 24th of April. His ‘death’ occurs on the 4th of May. 
The Empty House - March 1894
The Norwood Builder - Summer 1894
Stated to take place ‘several months’ after Holmes’s return. Watson has moved back to Baker Street and sold his practice. 
Silver Blaze - Late Summer 1894 
(I would like to set Silver Blaze to be after NORW, since I think Holmes and Watson deserve a fun case after that one. I believe it to be post-hiatus since Watson is evidently resident in Baker Street and does not appear to be in practice at this time.)
The Golden Pince-Nez - November 1894
The Red Circle - Winter 1894
Watson is living at Baker Street, and Holmes refers to his medical practice in the past tense. 
The Solitary Cyclist - April 1895
The Three Students - 1895
Black Peter - July 1895
The Bruce-Partington Plans - November 1895
The Veiled Lodger - Early 1896
The Shoscombe Old Place - 1896
The Missing Three-Quarter - February 1896-7?
Described as occurring ‘seven or eight years ago’ from the time of writing, presumably 1904. 
The Devil’s Foot - March 1897
The Abbey Grange - Winter 1897
Wisteria Lodge - March 1898 [6]
It is stated to be March 1892, but this is impossible as Holmes is presumed dead at that time. It also can’t be March ‘91 as Holmes is too busy at that time, and referencing REDH eliminates March ‘90 or any year earlier. Further, Holmes complains of boredom due to a lack of cases, which eliminates 1894 due to a very high number of cases in that year (he also would only have been back about two weeks at that point). Holmes is also busy in March ‘95, ‘96, and ‘97. It is not until 1898 that there may be time to be bored by March.
The Six Napoleons - Late May/Early June 1898
It must be the end of May or the start of June, as Beppo was arrested and sentenced to a year in prison in late May of the previous year. (I’d like to set this one near DANC, since Holmes deserves the praise. 
The Dancing Men - July 1898
Mr Cubitt says that he met his wife while in London ‘for the jubilee last year’, and that Elsie received a letter from America ‘about a month ago, at the end of June’. 
The Sussex Vampire - November 1898
I date this story to after 1897, as that is the year vampires rose significantly in the public consciousness.
The Retired Colourman - Summer 1899
Amberley married his wife in 1897, and Holmes comments that the events that have resulted in their contact with him have occurred ‘within two years’.
The Priory School - May 1901?
Years listed with regard to Lord Holdernesse date the story post 1900, and wording makes it seem that that is not the present year.
The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax - Spring/Summer 1901?
The Problem Of Thor Bridge - October 1901
The Three Garridebs - June 1902
The Illustrious Client - September 1902
The Blanched Soldier - January 1903
Holmes claims that Watson has ‘deserted [him] for a wife’. 
The Mazarin Stone - Summer 1903
Watson is visiting Baker Street, and comments that nothing has changed in his absence, which infers this to occur after his second marriage. He also comments that a dummy of Holmes has been ‘used before’, referencing the events of EMPT. 
The Three Gables - 1903?
Watson has not seen Holmes ‘in some days’.
The Creeping Man - September 1903
As originally published, the date is stated as September 1902, but when collected in Case-Book, this changes to 1903. I place it in 1903 as Watson is not living at Baker Street at this time, having been summoned by a note from Holmes.
The Lion’s Mane - July 1907
Holmes is retired
His Last Bow: The War Service Of Sherlock Holmes - August 1914
Holmes has been undercover for the past two years.
Additionally:
This chronology was started in direct opposition to and due to frustration with Baring-Gould's chronology. Any comments or suggestions based on it will be disregarded.
It is my aim with this chronology to take into account all stated dates, and take them as correct except for where they blatantly contradict others. (e.g. SIGN being dated to either July or September 1888, when FIVE references Watson's wife in September 1887 and SCAN refers to his marriage in March 1888; Wisteria Lodge being dated to March 1892 when Holmes is 'dead' at this time)
It is also my intention that Watson is only married twice, the first time to Mary Morstan in late 1887 and the second to an unknown Mrs Watson in early 1903 (being strictly canonical, my own headcanons of him retiring to Sussex with Holmes aside)
I estimate that Holmes was born January 6th 1857, making him 18 at the time of GLOR and 24 at the time of STUD. Also by this estimate he would be 57 at the time of His Last Bow.
I estimate that Watson was born 23rd May 1853, making him 27 at the time of STUD. This would make him 61 at the time of His Last Bow.
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burins · 4 months
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Dick Grayson!
thank you. i am currently in the pit about him.
Headcanon A:  realistic
Dick isn't a big physical possessions guy, with two exceptions: he likes nice clothes, and he has a million photos. One birthday Donna gets him a polaroid camera and they're all over his fridge now. (Don't @ me about Discowing that was what was fashionable at the time!)
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
Dick is good at technology with the exception of civilian phones, which he is so laughably bad at that it seems like maybe he's been cursed? Every message he sends is absolutely riddled with typos. He cannot make group chats work for him. Every other week he is accidentally sending a four-minute voice memo that's just him doing the dishes. Tim has offered to help. Steph has offered to help. Babs has offered to help. this is hilarious to everyone involved, because Dick has been using the Batcomputer since he was 10.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
When Bruce comes back from the dead, Dick lets Damian go. Of course he does. Damian is Bruce's son, and he loves Bruce with the fierce and unsuspicious love of a kid who's yet to be disappointed by his father. Dick doesn't get to keep him. That wouldn't be fair to any of them.
But a year later when he's holding Damian's body he can't stop thinking that he didn't even try.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
so my dick grayson comics read was the first character read i did for comics, before i started taking screencaps of things (way back last october or november!) which means my memory of what is actually canon is... fuzzy. also he's been around for 50 years so I'm afraid of saying something that for real happened. my easiest answer is just: he would not be a cop. he wouldn't! he would not.
(send me a character!)
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mamawasatesttube · 4 months
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for the hc ask: Lois!!!
happy lois lane appreciation sunday!
Headcanon A:  realistic
she calls kon "squirt" no matter how much taller than her he gets. he's always her little guy. he's not her son, but they're family. she's pretty protective of him in a way that surprises even herself.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
the real reason she has so many different designs across different runs is that she's constantly pulling on disguises because she keeps getting banned from various premises for poking her nose in.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
she'd kill for clark. she knows it'd break his heart if she ever had to, but she also knows she would do it without regrets. even if he wouldn't want her to. she doesn't like to think about it, but she knows herself well enough to know that she would do it.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
she would not?? name her son?? after sam fucking lane???? jonathan samuel kent you were named after two of the bravest... uh... well one of them was a great guy and the other orchestrated the genocide of nearly all of the survivors of your father's people. happy birthday, son! name that kid after like. fuck idk. perry?? jimmy? john henry?? THERES OPTIONS HERE
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cairoscene · 4 months
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jason todd hc thingy ask
realistic: once jason is more or less on better terms with bruce et al, he sets an unspoken rule with himself that he can speak to bruce about anyone—the other family members, cases, the weather, the current knights season—anything but himself. it takes bruce a while to figure this out, but once he does they can go days without jason shutting down on him.
not realistic but hilarious: i've posted about this before but i like to think that jason is so fucking pretty and just smoking hot and not only is he not super aware of it all the time but also everyone else is. to the point where he's in the new fucking organic grocery store that popped up in his neighborhood and he's pissed about the gentrification but also he needs parsnips for his special mashed potatoes for alfie's birthday dinner but he can't find the fucking parsnips, which is how he ends up in the produce section while the grocery store worker mansplains vegetables to him bc he's too fucking pretty for anyone to take him seriously. this is why he wears a mask AND a helmet.
heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends: jason's impressive adult height is not natural, which he discovers when he finds out more about his birth parents. he has the horrible back-of-the-mind realization that he shouldn't be this tall, that it must have been the pit or something that was done to him during those in-between years he hardly remembers, but it suddenly makes sense why he struggled so much with his body when he was training with the league. it's just another one of the things that makes jason feel not real sometimes, like he's watching a movie about himself instead of living his life.
unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own: i actually disregard canon and fanon whenever the fuck i want for any reason so it's hard to narrow this down but i believe that of everyone in the batfamily, jason is the one most likely to leave the vigilante life at some point. i don't think he'd ever do something sedate and normal like idk being a creative writing prof, in fact i think whatever he leaves it for will be even more insane and ill advised. but i think jason has the ability as bruce's son to realize that he does not have to live his life in answer to his father's.
[send me a character and i'll tell you headcanons]
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davyjoneslockr · 1 year
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can i request narancia for the 4 hcs?
(For this)
I got multiple asks about Nara hell yeah. I've been waiting for an excuse to talk about him for so long <333
Headcanon A:  realistic
His skirt used to be his mom's. One of the clearest things Narancia remembers about her is how she always wore brightly-colored dresses and skirts. They tended to be cheap and outdated, since the Ghirga family didn't have much money, but, to Narancia, they always reflected how much light she brought into others' lives.
After she died, her clothes sat and collected dust in what used to be her closet. By the time Narancia came back home, his dad would often discuss packing them up and selling them. On some level, he knew his dad could never bring himself to do that. Still, the night he finally ran away for good, he snuck into the closet and took as many skirts and dresses as he could find.
He wore his favorite skirt to his Passione initiation, and continued to wear it for most of his teen years. It makes him feel like a part of her is still with him, and as he grows into his own person, the shades of orange and yellow start representing a part of himself, too.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
Maybe only unrealistic by virtue of Everyone Lives AU but idk. He gets a growth spurt when he's like 18-19, to the point where he's almost the same height as Fugo. Meanwhile, Fugo, who has only managed to grow an inch or two, is in complete denial.
Thus begins a height war. Narancia wears platform boots to add a few inches, and Fugo, in retaliation, starts borrowing stilettoes from Abbacchio. Narancia stands on his toes around him and taunts him like "lmao how's the weather down there >:)" and Fugo tackles him. They stand back-to-back and make a neutral third party (usually Bucciarati) measure who's taller.
According to legend, the sheer volume of combined screaming when, one day, Bucciarati determined that Narancia was ever so slightly taller was enough to shatter windows.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
When he first joined the gang, Narancia was a bit skittish around Fugo. Not because of his temper or attitude, as others initially thought. The problem was something Narancia kept secret, as he thought it was a bit silly - it was because of his hair color. He'd had his trust recently shattered by another blond teenage boy, and it was hard to make himself realize that Fugo was different. Of course, soon enough, Narancia got past this, and he came to genuinely love Fugo, placing unwavering trust in him and knowing he'd never leave him behind as his former "friend" had.
He tries not to think about it too much, but he can't help noticing a familiar pain in his heart when Fugo stays behind at the pier - leaving them out of self-preservation, sure, but abandoning them nonetheless.
And, of course, putting trust in yet another blond boy ultimately gets Narancia killed.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
Okay so basically he lives. And when he's in his 20s, he gets a bunch of tattoos. He has sleeves on both arms; one has all of the gang's stand motifs, and the other is made of apple blossoms (representing his mom) - together, he says, they represent his entire family. There's an airplane trailing across his chest, and a little cluster of bullets right over his heart (to say that Mista swoons when he first shows him is an understatement). Maybe he gets some wings or something on his back. He complains about the pain the first few times, but he loves how they let him express himself and carry the people he loves with him at all times.
Also he goes to see Shrek for his 18th birthday. He drags Mista and Fugo with him. It's glorious.
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tisthegrimreaper · 9 months
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gob for the 4 different hc thing!!!🥺
Headcanon A:  realistic
His birthday is on 20th April (this is due to my very first time playing Fallout), and he almost forgot it a few times after living for a long while.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
I share a headcannon I've seen amongst friends before that he's a memer so if you see those funny trends on TikTok he's likely to do those. Like the Grimace shake one.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
I have angst headcannons but he is canonically an abuse victim so I won't say them to inflict on friends as fun 🥲
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
Uhhh I don't think I have one unless you count my AU self insert where he's dating the grim reaper.
Or my other slasher AU where he's a killer clown (I love horror clowns okay... no I will not elaborate. Yet.)
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viola-halogen · 2 years
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Have you done Pat for the character ask yet?
Pat my beloved :D
Headcanon A: realistic
He did actually have a friend called Susan as a kid who he used to walk home from school with (although the ghost story he told in The Woodworm Men was highly embellished.) They stayed in touch after she moved to Leeds, they used to have weekly phone calls every Sunday evening and visited each other pretty often.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
He actually really likes death metal, although almost no one ever believes him when he tells them. He used to own a bunch of death metal albums on vinyl and would play them whenever Carol was out (she couldn’t stand to listen to that racket.) Alison sometimes plays it for him now, and it always makes Fanny absolutely furious.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
The day he died was a week before Daley’s birthday. Pat had bought him tickets to Alton Towers, somewhere he’d wanted to go for a while. He had the tickets in his pocket when he died and he now carries them with him always as part of his ghostly form, a constant reminder of all the things he never got to do with his family.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own
He’s really strong because of all the archery and wild camping and stuff he did when he was alive. He doesn’t really show it off so most people don’t realise but he could probably carry each of the ghosts. Every so often he’ll just like, pick the Captain up bridal style or give Thomas a piggy back and every time he does it everyone else is just like *surprised pikachu face*.
Thanks for the ask :)
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onekisstotakewithme · 2 years
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Peg Hunnicutt for headcanons (also happy birthday assuming that's current?)
yes! Birthday today 💜😊
As for Peg Hunnicutt (Peg my beloved)
A) realistic
I think that being the only child of a farm family meant she had to deal with conflicting "roles" growing up (a concept I explore in my fic quite a bit and could stand to explore even more!), like having to help her dad on the farm, but also being the sweet young lady her mother wanted - and it took her a long time to get over the fact that in some ways she wasn't what her mother wanted. And a lot of the ways she parents Erin are a result of that - trying to do better.
B) Not realistic but hilarious
When they first met, she and BJ thought the other was gay (because BJ was with his boyfriend at the time, Peg was with her girlfriend), and it was all *spiderman pointing meme* but then they later got to be friends, and when they started talking about crushes and talked about their crushes, and Peg says a man's name and BJ says a woman's and it's like *double spiderman pointing meme*. Idk it's just such a funny thing to me (but I'm dead serious when I say they're bisexuals!)
C) heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
Peg would be absolutely blindsided by BJ leaving her for Hawkeye, and she would in fact follow him to Maine and kick his ass - and then leave him because if he was willing to throw her away that easily, then clearly he must not have loved her (that might be more ouch for BJ, but he deserves it if he runs out on her).
D) unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
Peg pegs (this is handwavey amount of realistic). She pegs BJ. She'll peg Hawkeye. The woman's name is a clue! She pegs! She's dynamite with a strap!
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starrysupercell · 2 years
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For the ask game, Belle please :3
This is in reference to the ABCD headcanons. ;w; sorry for how long this took.
This has been near-completion for a while! I finished it up for Belle's birthday though! Just a few days after mine.
~
Headcanon A:  Realistic
She adores skygazing.
Her favorite time of the day is sunset, as it holds a very special place in her heart. But if she could just spend a day watching the colors melt and shift without worrying about consequences she absolutely would with no hesitation.
If she invites you to sky gaze with her, just know you're very special to her.
Headcanon B: Unrealistic, but hilarious
......Belle is Colette when she’s older, and Jessie and Penny are her mothers. A.K.A. my silly Golden Hands (On a Clock) theory. See the post here!
(I'll maybe make a post for the Watter addition later, lol.)
Headcanon C: Heart-crushing, but fun to inflict on friends
She very seldom thinks about her previous life after she ran away. She cared very little for her parents, if at all.
Her younger brother, Byron, on the other hand, is a bag of mixed emotions. She doesn’t want to feel obligated for him. She doesn’t want to hate him. She plain doesn’t want to think about anything to do with that terrible household, because frankly she hated how she felt under that roof.
Even with her Gang and other loved ones, she feels as though her heart has dried up under the desert sun. Maybe she's not too far off the mark, who knows?
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I reject canon and substitute my own.
Ambivert Belle!!!!
She's the leader and life of the Gang, but after a successful big heist, festivities are at large. Because why wouldn't they celebrate the tons of work that their amazing leader poured into it?
Scouting the town, getting to know schedules and people there without letting them know about you. Planning away, and communicating a lot to keep everyone in the know. It's scrutinizing work.
It exhausts Belle, and ever since she was younger, she hasn't been much for socializing frequently and for long periods of time. Which adds to why she was so unhappy there. Call her selfish, but it's a lot more fun doing things for your own benefit/happiness.
So after joining in the drinking and lively chatter with her Gang, she goes off on her own for a while. She doesn't stray far. Just a fair distance away from the ever-traveling campsite.
Just her and her horse. Some essentials..
It reminds her of how she started out.
Except now she's at the top of her own world and it's absolutely perfect.
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escriveine · 2 years
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Good Day to you! For the ask meme, Her Imperial Serenity, Empress Teyla Emmagan, Leader Of The Athosians and Holder Of The Briancell please!
Ah, Teyla, my beloved! Thanks so much for the ask @sparrowsarus! ♥
Headcanon A:  realistic Teyla is an optimist. Not your garden variety willfully-blind-to-reality, magical-thinking-will-make-it-better optimist, but the bespoke kind who knows realistic optimism is a discipline, a moral and ethical position that refuses despair even in the face of tremendous odds, or daunting setbacks. Or even the appalling human tendencies to casual cruelty and unconsidered selfishness.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious When Teyla was young, the traditional Athosian martial arts weapon was a bantos staff. But Teyla was a small child who insisted on training with the older children because she wanted to learn everything, all at once, as soon as possible. The adults found it impossible to keep her away, even though she struggled to use a staff that was half again as tall as she was. One night, sawing noises were heard in the woods behind the training hut, but no one paid them much heed. The next morning, Teyla showed up to practice bleary-eyed, carrying a pair of neatly finished bantos rods which she then used to thwack 6 kinds of crap out of the meanest staff-wielding teen in the class.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends Teyla was with her father (Tagan) when he was taken by the Wraith. In fact, she tried to tackle him out of the way of their culling beam, the way she did many years later with Ford, but Tagan sidestepped so they wouldn't both be taken. Bonus heart-crushing: the Wraith detected Tagan's altered DNA and killed him while the Hive was still in orbit, rather than preserving him for later feeding like the other Athosians. The Hive was still within Teyla's as-yet-unsuspected sensing range, so her nightmare that night wasn't a dream, but a real-time vision.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. At Torren's first birthday/public naming ceremony, his name officially becomes Torren Johrodnon Emmagan, so his middle name can be a portmanteau constructed from the names of all 3 of his 'godfathers'.
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thebreakfastgenie · 2 years
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Gimme the Josh Lyman headcanons 😈
Oh my boyyyy
Headcanon A:  realistic
Josh and Toby make eating Chinese food together on Christmas a tradition, until Josh and Donna get married and he starts spending it with her family.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
Thee Josh Lyman MASH headcanon, of course! Josh watched MASH in middle school but he was such a dedicated Trapper girl (Trapper has curly hair! like him!) that he quit after season 3 and didn't watch MASH again until Donna found him some MASH videos while he was recovering from being shot. Like six months into the Santos administration he was like "oh my god, that's who Secretary Vinick looks like!" and everyone thought he was nuts.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
In season 5, after an episode of jokes about Josh's big childhood trauma re: birthdays, apparently forgetting his actual childhood trauma, we find out that for his seventh birthday his parents hired a clown who only paid attention to his sister the whole time, including giving her one of his shoes. I headcanon Joanie as being significantly older, so I think she was 15 or 15 and the clown was flirting with her, and wrote his number on the shoe. Afterwards, Josh was angry with Joanie for ruining his birthday and refused to talk to her. One night while their parents were out, she tried to make it up to him by making him popcorn for dinner as an olive branch. That's when the house caught on fire.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
This is very vague but I refuse to accept any post-series tension between Josh and Toby despite what season 7 says. They are best friends and they talk all the time.
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mapsareforbraindeads · 4 months
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Send a character’s name to receive four different headcanons: Beyond Birthday?
anon i completely forgot about this i’m so sorry
headcanon a - realistic
i headcanon him as first generation japanese american. a lot of his preferences for japanese media (the criminally underrated akazukin chacha) come from his early childhood. until his parents died but we don’t talk about that
headcanon b - while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
when he lived at wammy’s, he would deep clean every single room in the building whenever he was bored in the middle of the night. roger walked in on him once and beyond hissed at him
headcanon c - heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
after his parents died, he was put into the system at a very young age. nobody could get a name out of him, so he was given random names by whichever family took him in. it got to the point where he didn’t even know what his true name was. that’s why he got the idea to name himself beyond birthday.
headcanon d - unrealistic, but i will disregard canon about it because i reject canon reality and substitute my own
beyond and L hooked up at least once, i know it
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vio and shadow <3
alr!!
vio;
Headcanon A:  realistic - vio is quick + light on their feet
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious - their skin cracked when the mirror shattered
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends - vio throws away all self preservation when attempting to get shadow back. wont eat, barely sleeps, doesnt do basic self care
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. - they can talk to monsters
shadow;
Headcanon A:  realistic - he gets sunburned easy
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious - hisses + purrs like a cat
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends - he can see through the mirror shards. he knows that vio is destroying themselves to get him back and he cant do anything but watch.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. - he does not have a birthday. he just fucking spawned
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angelhummel · 3 years
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Blaine didn't get handsy for a minute. It was less than ten seconds and people act like he committed rape or something, but when Brittany literally releases underage nudes, doesn't apologize and refuses to take it down, it's okay because she's dumb, right?
Not at all, silly! It’s okay because Santana is whipped and such a bottom uwu
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Okay so the two arguments are... 1) Brittany genuinely thought she was helping bc she’s too naive to know better and committed a crime/ruined Santana’s entire life on accident. Or 2) She’s a secret genius who wanted to show Santana the error of her ways and what happens when you don’t care how you get famous and committed a crime/ruined Santana’s entire life on purpose
BUT as you can see it doesn’t matter bc Brittany kissed Santana’s cheek and then helped her get into a college she didn’t want to go to. Santana telling Rachel not to do a nude scene and her argument is that her sex tape was released and will now haunt her forever? Never heard of it!
Okay so Saturday Night Gleever aired April 17, 2012. Their sex tape was made at any point prior to that. The Glee wiki has Santana’s birthday as August 27, 1994. The Glee wiki doesn’t have Brittany’s actual birthday listed but if you just google “Brittany Pierce birthday” you get March 14, 1994. Also if you google “Santana Lopez birthday” you get November 17, 1994. Idk who’s coming up with that stuff but either way it puts Santana at 17 and Brittany at 18 when she releases their sex tape :) Math is fun you guys
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spidy-nugget · 2 years
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Veronica Sawyer for the headcanon asks?
Ooh! This one is interesting! I love Veronica Sawyer but she isn't a character who I have thought too too much about before so let's see what I could come up with!
Headcanon A: realistic
She is a very observant person. Other than Martha and Betty, it was hard for her to make friends growing up. She would often get overlooked, but she would not overlook others. It started with her being bored in 2nd grade when she tried replicating the handwriting of her teacher. With some practice she was able to forge a fake note from her teacher that passed the test of her parents. Over time, she would learn the handwritings of her parents, then of her friends, and then of the people she deemed important in the social hierarchy. That's how she was able to so easily forge the bathroom pass and all the other notes, because she already had lots of practice. She keeps a hidden journal at home where each page has 3 columns: a name, a sample of that person's handwriting taped in, and then her mastered version of that handwriting. That way she has a log of reference for if she ever needs it.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
Every year of high school before the events of canon, she would destroy a heather pinata on her birthday. The biggest one would be of Chandler and filled with red hots.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
She joined the Heathers because she felt broken. She was used to blending into the background, to hiding, but it felt like too much sometimes. Sure, she had Betty and Martha, but she felt closer to them when she was younger and the 3 of them really only hung out any more because if they didn't, they wouldn't have anyone. Veronica knew that the Heathers were just using her, but she was so starved for attention that she allowed it. If Chandler didn't go down the way she did and if Veronica didn't get sucked into all that drama, Veronica would have considered doing it to herself.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
After the events of canon Veronica runs away to Chicago and changes her name. Her new name? Sharon Norbury and she becomes a math teacher at North Shore High. She doesn't run into trouble again until this book is revealed at school accusing her of being a drug pusher.
I know that most headcanons connecting Heathers with Mean Girls make it so that Veronica and Janis are related because they are both played by Barrett Wilbur Weed, but I thought it would be more fun to flip the script. Of course, I love ones where Veronica and Janis are related too.
Anon, I hope you enjoyed these headcanons! I am always open for more asks! : D
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sapphire-wine · 2 years
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For the character headcannon ask: Edegeworth or Franziska if you havent done those yet. Also dont feel pressured to do both if you dont wanna.
I just finished Fran so Miles it is
Headcanon A:  realistic
Occasionally teaches a seminar on ethics and law practice at conferences and law schools. There are some people who respect the climb he made from Demon Prosecutor to respectable attorney but there are other people who will never understand it.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
Dyed his own hair during the year he "chose death" to try to distance himself from Miles Edgeworth as much as possible. It fades out by the time he's back in AA2 (perhaps that is why he spends the extra two months by himself in the states). Trucy asks if she can dye his hair because his "base color is so easy to dye without bleaching" and he gets war flashbacks.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
His birthday is December 28th :)
His dad took him to the courthouse as a birthday present because "I guess you are old enough now" and he was so excited
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
This bitch felt affection once and it was like a floodgate opened once he allowed himself to be comfortable with it. Phoenix sits on a couch and Miles immediately lays on top of him and moves Phoenix's hand to his head. He's like a cat.
He lets Maya squeeze his arm during Steel Samurai rewatches and he squeezes hers right back. Trucy canonically sleeps on his shoulder.
Anyway he spent so many years being afraid of affection he deserves to have it pour out of him. Also he only wears jabots to court appearances now because he has an image to uphold but if no one is going to see him he's got whole new outfits now. People put scary movies on to see him hide behind the nearest shoulder in his fluffy sweater.
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