#i rejected relationships completely my friend is in them frequently

[intromortal]

situationship!y.jw x reader

wc: 2,5k+

cw: smut, brat taming, oral (f receiving), teasing, overstimulation, no protection, creampie, a tiny bit of plot bc i can't shut up, jake is a loser, i think that's all!

“Wonnie, please", you manage to whine out while knowing better than anyone that it’s not enough to get him moving to where you need him the most.

“You know better than giving me half-finished sentences, especially with the stunt you’ve pulled today doll”, he leans back on his knees with a playful smirk on his face.

You feel tears prickle your eyes at the humiliation while you debate whether it’s worth ignoring his request and waiting it out, even though you already know the answer.

Jungwon senses your tiny moment of hesitation and takes advantage of that, inching his fingers closer to your weeping hole.

“Mmh, seems I have to fuck it out of you then", he says as he pushes your matching panties aside and collects your juices on two of his fingers before pushing them in, doing his best not to stimulate your clit just like he knows you need him to, looking at the scene before him with his bottom lip between his teeth.

You immediately regret not giving him what he wants right away, Jungwon might be possessive, but he is also very, very patient.

You’re whining now, “I’m sorry, please, I need your tongue”.

“You’re a little too late on that baby, don’t you think?” he smiles down at you and coos at your pleading face, “gonna have you so dumb on my fingers, my tongue's all you’re gonna think about”.

You would be lying if you said that annoying Jungwon was not one of your favourite things to do ever since you two became friends.

Can you even call it that? You don’t think fucking behind the rest of your friend’s backs is the ideal definition of friendship, but if that’s all he’s willing to give you, then you won’t turn it down.

There's an uncertainty around your relationship that leaves you confused. You feel like he avoids the subject anytime you try to bring it up, but you yourself also don't really know what you want since you’ve never been the type to want anything serious anyway.

At least for now.

Sure he's extremely good-looking, but thinking about him sexually had not ever crossed your mind, let alone romantically.

Well, at least until the night you found yourself alone with him at your apartment after everyone else left and decided to talk back one time too many, pushing him to quite literally flip your world upside down. 

But still,

you just never cared about relationships. 

The first times you found yourself entangled in his bedsheets were never planned, just the result of heated gazes and lingering touches. You chalked up your longing for him to the feeling of newness and unfamiliarity, the Jungwon you know outside his bedroom seemingly a completely different person.

Then, as the months went by and the meet-ups started getting more frequent and planned, but the feelings stayed the same, you decided it just had to be that no one has ever made you cum as hard as Yang Jungwon has.

Just two friends fooling around.

So why did you feel so hurt by him suddenly rejecting your advances?

As desperate as it sounds, you had been trying your hardest to get his attention for the past few weeks in multiple ways, going as far as sending him pics with your expensive new lingerie set, only to get left on read.

Your confidence took a hit from this. Had Jungwon suddenly stopped finding you attractive? Was he seeing someone prettier? Though with the memories of his open-mouthed kisses all over and the hours he spent worshipping your body, you could not make any sense out of it.

Maybe that was just the way he fucked no matter who was under him, so passionate you would think it was love he was making to you, not just a hookup.

It's not like he's the only person you could fuck. Anyone would drop to your knees if you asked them to. 

And very desperate, kinda pathetic Jake was waiting for you, he had been for a long time.

Everyone in your friend group knows that he has his eyes on you, even though he has yet to make his move because of how inexperienced he is, scared he might not be good enough for someone like you. But you might just find it hot, you might just want to teach him how to pleasure you. 

That, or you were just irremediably horny after Jungwon left you hanging for so long.

That’s how you find yourself in your current position, Jake inviting you over to his and Jungwon’s shared apartment for a glass of wine after a night out with your friends which you spent very openly flirting with him (very much to Jay’s dismay, who just told you to take jake back to your dorm and get it over with, you couldn’t help but let your gaze wander to dungeon, curious about his reaction, only for him to ignore the comment completely).

You walk in with the two friends, Jake taking your jacket from you and pouring you a glass of wine while Jungwon bee-lined for his room. 

You got comfortable on their couch while making conversation with Jake, wondering why the man you’re trying to get out of your mind didn’t take up Heeseung’s offer to crash at his place, sensing where things were going between you and the blonde.

Jake was honestly shocked at your sudden attention, after so many years of pining after you he was about to give up hope. You clearly had known about his attraction for you for a while, so he wondered what suddenly changed. Not that he was complaining, he’d take anything you were willing to offer him.

You were so beautiful to him. He honestly struggled to believe you were real sometimes, like in this very moment, your makeup a bit smudged from the hours spent outside, your very short skirt riding up your plush thighs and the dazed look in your eyes from the alcohol. He thinks you might be the single most gorgeous being he has ever laid eyes on. 

So it’s not surprising that he has to excuse himself to the bathroom to sneakily take care of his raging hard-on before he comes in his pants from just looking at you like the little pathetic virgin he is. He absolutely cannot embarrass himself like that in front of you.

Jungwon walks out of his room, walking right in front of you to get to the kitchen, completely ignoring your existence. You’re very irritated by now and would be lying if you said you weren’t expecting some sort of reaction from him after months of intimacy.

He walks back with a water bottle in his hands, his biceps flexing when opening the tight cap and taking a gulp of it while keeping his eyes on you. Suddenly you feel very small under his watchful gaze, but he has yet to speak to you.

So you bite first.

“What do you want?", it’s more of a snarky remark than a question, but he doesn't show any annoyance to your sour tone. 

“Has the bitch boy cum his pants yet?”, he says while closing the bottle.

You try to hide how taken aback you are by his comment, but he knows your expressions better than anyone else.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t play dumb now, it's either that or he’s fucking his fist thinking about you in that bathroom hoping he’ll last longer in your cunt. Cute really, I’ll give him a few strokes max”.

You can’t help but get goosebumps after finally hearing his voice addressing you after so long, filthy words still sounding so angelic to your ears.

You did admit you have always liked annoying him.

“And how is that any of your business? Yang Jungwon”, you say while challenging him with eye contact.

He slightly rolls his eyes at that, a small smirk playing on his lips, showcasing his dimple.

He seems to think about what you just said, tilting his head to the side while looking at you, his bangs slightly covering his eyebrows. Unfortunately, you are all too familiar with the glint in his eyes.

“You’re right, that would be none of my business if it weren't for the fact that you spent this entire night desperately looking to rile me up while trying to get that little bitch to fuck you”. He speaks softly as he inches closer, towering over your sat figure on the couch, "you're trying way too hard, for your information", he adds as he gently tilts your head up with his fingers.

“Jake? Really? Can he please you as well as I do?”.

You're surprised to hear him talk about his best friend like that, but you already know the answer to that question as you close the gap between your lips.

 Not too long after that, you find yourself pushed against the door of Jungwon’s room, legs wrapped around his waist as he leaves wet open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbones, the blonde long forgotten.

You try to grind down on his very evident boner but he keeps your hips still with his strong arms.

“Behave”, he whispers sternly before moving his mouth to your ear and grazing it gently with his teeth.

He suddenly pulls away and shoves you onto his bed, towering over you and sliding his leg between your thighs.

“Wanted my attention? Don’t worry baby, you’ll get it alright”, he whispers while slowly removing your top, revealing the same lace bralette of that lingerie set you sent him pics of.

You suddenly feel embarrassed, he had ignored those texts, and he must have disliked them.

Your worries are revealed to be baseless when, as if reading your mind, Jungwon lets out a groan at the sight and takes one of your nipples in his mouth while his fingers toy with the other but decides to keep the thin material on your chest.

You try to sneak your hands behind your back to undo the claps, but he stops you. “Keep it on baby, fucked my fist so many times to those pics, wanted my attention so bad, didn’t you?”, he rasps between sucks, starting to kiss and lick down your navel. You let out a moan to that, the thought of Jungwon pleasuring himself too hot to handle, you think about asking him why he never replied, why he left you hanging for so long, but you hold your tongue, you're sure you’ve already ridiculed yourself enough in his eyes.

You have a suspicion he will go back to pretending you don’t exist after he has his way with you, but you push these thoughts to the back of your mind, choosing to focus on his hands flipping up your pathetic excuse of a skirt as his kisses that are slowly inching toward your thighs.

He takes his time with them, nibbling at them slightly, knowing he’s driving you absolutely insane.

He spends the next half hour denying any stimulation to your clit, using his other hand to keep your hip to the bed to stop you from chasing his fingers. 

“Wonnie please, do something, anything,” you say between sniffles. He suddenly relents and inches his face to your clothed cunt, removing his fingers and licking your clit through the fabric.

“Won I’m beg-“ he doesn’t let you finish this time. “Got you doll”, he whispers as he lowers your panties slightly and attaches his mouth to your cunt, nose bumping your clit every time he moves.

He’s now removing his mouth from your cunt, ignoring your protests as he inserts his fingers inside you immediately lowering his head again to take your clit in his mouth, sucking on it. 

You know you’re close and you're so afraid he’s just going to rip it away from you, nonetheless, you know that even if you try to lie he’ll be able to tell when you’re coming anyway, no one knowing the signs of your body language as well as he does.

“I’m close, please, Won, don’t take it away”, you sniffle as tears start to form again in your eyes. Jungwon fondly giggles at your dumb state as he guides you towards your high, helping you ride it as you come on his tongue with a drawn-out moan of his name.

“You taste so good baby, let Jake know who is making you cum”, he keeps slowly fucking his fingers inside you as he makes eye contact, his gaze dazed with need.

You’re so surprised he actually let you cum that you don’t realise he has gone back to lapping at you, moaning into your mound at how sweet you are. 

You try to pry him away, but he easily pins your arms down with one of his, his head coming up slightly to speak to you, “we are far from being done doll, you wanted my attention”, he whispers seductively at you “you’re gonna have to take it all”.

Jake doesn’t remember when he let lust take over him and slightly opened the door to peer in and doesn’t know how many times he’s blown a load. He suspects it to be even more than you have, and right now you’re a babbling mess under Jungwon, that’s finally fucking into you after god knows how long he spent with his head between your legs. All Jake knows is that there’s cum all over his hand and his cock is so sensitive and tears are streaking down his cheeks and he still wants to bury himself in you so bad he thinks he might die. 

He should be offended really, he should be one between your legs. Jake wants it to be him so fucking badly and feels so pathetic as his cock hardens in his hand once again.

He saw how Jungwon eyed the both of you during the night, and if looks could kill, he’d be six feet under right now. He feels grateful to even be able to listen and watch you two.

So he starts moving his hand once again, closing his eyes while trying to hold back any sound and imagines that those sweet sounds you’re making are reactions to his actions and not those of his housemate.

Jungwon knows the other male has been spying on you two, and he tries to ignore the way this information makes his cock twitch. He almost feels sorry for you, fucked so dumb you can barely form coherent sentences, only sweet babbles of his name leaving your mouth. He thinks it's the best thing he has ever heard. 

“Close doll, just a little longer”, he whispers fondly in your ear. You’ve been so good to him, and he feels his heart swell with pride and his cock twitch at the thought of Jake seeing you so sweet and compliant for him. 

He knows he's looking and knows he shouldn't find his pathetic friend fisting his cock to him fucking your tiny cute abused cunt so hot, but he does.

And it makes him cum so hard he's surprised at himself.

He slows down slightly before pulling out, careful not to let any of his seed slip out, fingering it back in despite your complaints and pulling your cute little panties up your hips to keep it there, finally letting himself meet Jake's gaze with a smirk on his face.

a/n: wrote this on a whim and definitely don't love it but still thought i'd share. thank you rolling eyes in live jungwon for being my muse

#wonnie! #hard hours! #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #jungwon smut #jungwon hard hours #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenario #kpop scenario #kpop smut #enhypen #jungwon x reader #sim jaeyun smut #enhypen jake smut #jake smut #sim jake smut #jake x reader #kpop fanfic #enhypen fanfic #enha fic #enhypen fic #enhypen imagines

[maestriovermind]

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[originalcollectionartistry]

You ready, Princess?

I am so sorry my darlings! Things have been hectic in life for me. Between weddings, extra work, and personal stuff, my poor WIPs have been neglected. I promise to figure out time management better so I can grace your dashboards a bit more often.

This one might be a little shorter than previous posts but I did promise some people another fic but with our favourite sniper. This one can be read as a sequel to So Much for Love or it can be read as a standalone. Reader's choice!

CW: Fluff, PiV, rough fucking (we all know Crosshair can be rough when he wants to be), oral m receiving, pet names/degradation (princess, slut, whore), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!)

Word count: 2559

Enjoy my darlings!

It took a long time before your heart started to mend itself. Your love for Tech had consumed you for so long you forgot what being single, truly single, was like. You missed the way he called you darling, mesh’la, cyare, all the pet names. You missed the way he tinkered with little projects when he was not on missions. It was his way of winding down and it was so cute to you. Once he ended your relationship, it was a shocker for you. You took a long-needed week off to collect yourself. You cried almost every night, wanting nothing more than to have Tech beside you with his arm wrapped loosely around your waist. You had no idea when your batch would be back next, but you wished you would be completely moved on by then.

And you were. 322 rotations later, you felt loads better about yourself. Tech was a soldier first and foremost. It wasn’t fair of you to put so much onto him concerning your relationship. So, you picked yourself up, dried your tears, and worked on yourself. You approached Dex about taking more responsibility for his place of business, finally having something taken off your plate. You started working out more, putting time aside for yourself, taking yourself out on dates. You frequented 79’s a lot, getting your rocks off to many different soldiers. You had a type, and it was clear to everyone around you. You had a few flings here and there, but no one had fulfilled you like Tech did. Your heart still ached sometimes in mourning. That was the thing about grief. It never fully went away.

There was one clone that kept you smiling and giggling. Crosshair often messaged you while they were off world, making sure you were still smiling. You had never thought Crosshair would have a soft spot for you. He was… harsh to those he kept at a distance, but you knew his humour didn’t translate a lot of the time. He was snarky, sarcastic. Crosshair never backed up any horrible thing he said as it was always some weird dark humour. It was a humour that made you die laughing at times. The deadpan delivery often getting you off guard and causing a laughing fit.

It was this type of joke that cause you to pause in the middle of a shift. The boys were back on leave for another few days and were eating more than their share of the food the diner had to offer. You had another customer leave you their number and a large tip. Rolling your eyes, you stuffed the credits in your apron before crumping the paper with the number and tossing it.

“Another suitor rejected?” Tech deadpanned.

You smirked, pouring more caf for him. “Oh yes. I don’t get why they think treating me poorly at work will make me want to go out with them! It’s insane.”

It was nice joking around with Tech again. After so long of pretending to be okay with him around when you weren’t, it was a relief when you started being friends again. You both were happy with your separate lives, and it was fun to make fun of the guys who hit on you.

“Perhaps it has worked in the past. Insane people often go for other insane people.” Crosshair joined in.

“Oh, so I’m an insane person now?”

“Well, you went for Tech, so yeah.”

You saw that little smirk playing on his lips. You paused for a hot second, processing what he had said and started to laugh. Tech looked unimpressed at the jab, but you found it hilarious. You did have a thing with Tech and so it made you laugh even more, proving Crosshair’s theory that you were a little crazy. A crazy he didn’t mind being around.

“You have a point there Cross!” You said between giggles. “Maybe I’m more insane than I originally thought.”

They paid for their meals and went back to their barracks, but Crosshair stayed behind a bit longer. He seemed to have an air of confidence around him but a little nervousness creeping around too. He gave you a hug, thanking you for being you. Which caught you off guard. You hadn’t changed anything about yourself so for him to thank you for being you was… confusing to say the least.

He left a little piece of paper in your apron before leaving to join his brothers. You were surprised at how forward he was being. Crosshair was not one to be upfront about his feelings, so you were feeling a little confused at the change in him.

Unfolding the note, you saw instructions. Short and sweet:

Meet me outside 79’s. Tonight at 7. Don’t be late.

Huh... he wanted to meet. Interesting. You guessed this was just him being a friend, trying to get you laid and find a new partner.

You were about to be so wrong.

You showed up, on time as asked, meeting Crosshair in front of the bar. He immediately put an arm around your shoulders and led you away from the bar. Where did this behaviour come from? You liked it, you wouldn’t push him away, but it confused you.

Crosshair, on the other hand, was sweating bullets. Not literally but dear god was he nervous. He had been trying to gain the courage to ask you out for weeks. After you had confirmed you were fully over Tech, he saw his chance. A year later of you working on yourself after Tech had broken up with you, you finally felt back to your old self, and he could make a move. He could finally tell you how he had been harbouring feelings for so long.

He brought you to a small intimate restaurant, where you were seated and brought a bottle of wine. You had always clocked Crosshair as a whiskey or scotch man but if he wanted to drink wine with you, you weren’t gonna complain. You liked Crosshair and had been wondering if you had any attraction to him as of late. He was a good friend and a fantastic wingman as he helped set you up with his brother all that time ago but now that you had moved on… you found yourself picturing the sniper in your dreams and fantasies. When you closed your eyes when screwing a reg, Crosshair’s face illuminated in your mind’s eye. You were hoping this was a date as you did not want to screw your friendship up by asking him out so the fact that he asked you made your heart flutter. You just hoped this was a romantic dinner and not a platonic one.

Taking a sip from your glass you finally asked, “So where did all this come from? It’s not like you to be nervous.”

Cross swallowed a bit before answering. “Well, I wanted to make sure you were over my brother. Cause I have a proposition for you.” Swirling his glass, he waited for your prompt.

“Oh? What kind of proposition my dear? It’s not for a mission, is it?”

Crosshair chuckled a bit at that. You had never left Coruscant and desperately wanted to travel and explore the galaxy, but you weren’t too keen on entering war zones just yet. Crosshair assured you it wasn’t for a mission but for a more… personal nature. He explained his feelings to you bluntly and quickly, wanting to get any rejection over with. You surprised him however, smiling coyly and reaching for his hand.

“I was wondering when you’d ask me out. I just didn’t think tonight would be that night.” Smiling you leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Hiding his excitement, Crosshair teased you a bit more before your food arrived.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You really did not expect things to move so quickly throughout the night. After dessert you and Crosshair just walked around, seeing what the venders had to offer. When you finally arrived home, you invited him in for a night cap. It had all started so very innocently! Eventually you ended up where you are now: on all fours with Crosshairs cock deep inside your dripping pussy.

“Is this what you were hoping for? Pounding into my wet little cunt?” you teased. Crosshair responded with a tug of your hair and a particularly harsh thrust.

“I’d say it was you who was hoping for this princess. You were so eager to please when we started,” he mocked back.

It was true… Both of you moved in for the first kiss but every time Crosshair would try something: touching your breast, nibbling your ear, sucking your neck; you melted into his arms and became more and more submissive to him. You were utterly his, and you kicked yourself for not realising it for a year. As much as you had loved Tech, you never had as much raw sexual desire as you do now with Crosshair. You clearly were a better match with the sniper and were loving it!

Your thought process was interrupted by Crosshair running his fingers through your hair and pulling you up to his chest.

“I said,” he growled in your ear, “It was you who hoped for this, wasn’t it?”

You whimpered, nodding your head frantically. Babbling incoherently, you affirmed it was you who wanted this to happen. Cross groaned in satisfaction, giving you a particularly hard thrust as reward.

Eventually, Crosshair got tired of not seeing your face and flipped you over onto your back. It was a surprise you welcomed as he immediately pressed his lips to yours, smothering you in his taste. He slipped his hand down to your clit, playing with it in a way that had your legs turning to jelly. You were not going to be able to walk anytime soon.

Your high was approaching fast and you had little to no control of your moans. You were practically screaming in pleasure, begging for just a little bit more. Just enough to get you to tip over the edge!

“Come on, princess! Cum for me!” Cross hissed in your ear.

That was enough and you saw stars. Your legs seized around his waist, keeping him inside you as your whole body convulsed in pleasure. Tears pricked at your eyes as euphoria washed over you. You then felt something poking your cheek and an emptiness from your cunt. Crosshair had slid out and now wanted you to suck him off.

You happily obliged, teasing the red tip, licking your juices off him. Opening your mouth wider, you took him further, tapping his thigh to let him know he could use you. Cross didn’t hesitate, fucking your mouth with such fervor you didn’t think you could stop him, even if you wanted to! You relaxed your throat, allowing him to go further into your mouth. He suddenly pulled out of your mouth, pulling you up by your hair.

“Oh, did I stop before my whore was done?” he taunted. Kissing you fervently, he pushed you back down onto your hands and knees. Gripping your hair, he asked if you were ready.

“Cross, I’ll indicate if I ever am not ready or want to stop! Just fucking fuck my mouth already!”

Letting out a low chuckle, he caressed your cheek before pushing his cock back into your throat. “That’s my good little slut. You want me to cum in your mouth? You want me to fill your throat with my seed?”

You moaned around his cock, sending vibrations down. He shuddered, loving the feeling of your mouth. Now he knew why Tech was always brain dead after a night with you. You were a force damned goddess!

Deep throating, you gagged lightly around his length, wanting him to fill your mouth. You could feel his thrusts becoming stuttered and halted, meaning he was getting close, and you were loving the feeling. The little power trip of making Crosshair fall apart with just your mouth, it boosted your ego far more than it should’ve.

Grunting, Crosshair gripped your hair into a makeshift pony. “Gods, princess! I’m so close! In your throat?”

You sent him a thumbs up as you pushed yourself farther on his cock. No way you were pulling off to give him a verbal affirmation. Plus, it seemed to be enough for Crosshair.

“You ready, Princess?”

He timed it so he came as you were deep on his cock, shooting his cum as far down your throat as he could. He was obviously saving up as you felt overflowing your mouth and dripping down your chin. You pulled off and wiped your mouth off, licking what was on your fingers up.

“Hmm,” you grinned. “You taste good Cross! Been saving up for me?”

Pulling you up and curling you into his side in bed, he chuckled. “In your dreams, princess. That’s what you can expect every time I cum in you.”

You laughed a little more before resting in the calm of the afterglow. Your breaths evened out before you closed your eyes.

“Thank you, Cross.”

“For what?”

You tilted your head so you could gaze into his eyes. “For showing me what I’ve been missing out on. I’m willing for this to be a regular thing if you are.”

Smirking, Crosshair popped a toothpick into his mouth. “Don’t you worry doll. I’m not letting you go anytime soon. You’re mine now.”

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4 months later

“Holy Kriff! Cross really did a number on your neck mesh’la!” Wrecker exclaimed.

Your hand went to your throat where Crosshair had recently reignited his previous love bites. You smiled, shrugging it off.

“Yeah, apparently some shiny was checking me out at 79’s last night. Wanted to send a message,” you laughed.

Tech looked up from his data pad, looking over your neck. “It’s normal behaviour for Crosshair to be possessive of what’s his. Although, I’ve never seen love bites look that dark on anyone’s neck. I never left any that dark.” He took a moment to think about your past dalliance with him. Smiling, he added, “Then again, I’m not as possessive nor was I around enough to mark you. But based on your reaction and pride in the marks, maybe I should’ve.”

Crosshair came up behind you, giving your temple a kiss, a shock every time he did it. He never came across as one for public displays of affection but after last night, you’d happily get used to it.

“Getting jealous, Tech? Missing what we had?” you teased, pouring more caf for him.

He shook his head, smiling. “Not at all my dear. It’s quite clear you and Crosshair are a better match than we ever were. I like what we have now. A close friendship based on mutual respect.”

Hunter took a sip of his caf before chirping, “I don’t get why you didn’t cover them. Doesn’t Dex have a decency rule?”

You shrugged a shoulder, taking his empty plate. “In writing he does, not he never has us adhere to it. Plus, I ran out of concealer.”

Crosshair had hidden your concealer. He didn’t want you covering your marks at all. He wanted the world to know you were his and only his.

You were his Princess, and he’d made sure to let the world know at every opportunity.

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #sw tbb #tbb crosshair #crosshair smut #crosshair x reader #the bad batch crosshair #sw the bad batch #crosshair x reader smut #im sorry it took so long

[sawiet]

draco malfoy and bpd

warning: contemplation on borderline personality disorder. if this topic triggers you or you'd rather not read reflections from a non-therapist/non-psychiatrist, it's best to skip this.

since i no longer attempt to conceal the fact that for years i've projected my mental disorders onto beloved characters... what do you think about the idea that draco malfoy may have borderline personality disorder?

from the books, we know little about the dynamics within the malfoy family, but in the films, lucius was portrayed as quite an aggressive and strict father. this already gives me some basis to speculate that due to his narcissistic father, draco might be at risk.

(please don't take this post too seriously. i'm not an expert, i lack reliable data, so all of this is just my headcanons, theories, assumptions, fabrications... anything not claiming one hundred percent canon.)

usually, children with bpd have rather unstable relationships with their parents. one moment they love and adore you, and the next, you become the worst child in the world for them. you constantly have to be on guard and gauge the adults' moods to know how to fit in. we have lucius (evidently, an authoritative figure in draco's life) with impulsive behavior. he loves his son (during the battle of hogwarts, he was genuinely willing to risk his life to save draco), showers him with expensive gifts, indulges his whims (like securing a spot on the quidditch team), but at any moment, he can also harshly reprimand or publicly humiliate him.

years of such emotional/physical abuse can lead to the following reactions:

1) aggressive behavior leading to relationship problems (draco does indeed have anger issues; he often displays unjustified cruelty towards classmates; he has a sense of invincibility and impunity).

2) unstable emotional background and inadequate self-perception (this is my favorite! draco struggles with self-identification, he lacks his own opinion. he grew up in an environment of hatred towards muggle-born wizards, so everything he knew, said, and thought was instilled by his father).

3) high anxiety (the half-blood prince and the deathly hallows are direct proof. while most of his slytherin peers were resolutely against potter and never doubted the righteousness of their actions, draco tormented himself with thoughts and doubts. he teetered on the edge between psychopathy and stability. in one moment, he spoke of how much he wanted to leave hogwarts, how much he hated muggle-borns, but in the next, he suffered a panic attack, was unhealthy, couldn't continue living as if everything was fine).

4) total fear of solitude and a perpetual sense of boredom/emptiness (oh, remember all those moments when draco was never alone for a second, when after every joke he looked at his friends seeking approval? or how draco pursued harry and the golden trio for years just because he was bored? we know very little about draco's interests. even his interest in quidditch always seemed imposed, as if he became a seeker only to challenge harry. and again, the half-blood prince... draco looked unhealthy, cried in the girls' bathroom, and slowly lost his mind from the burden of solitude. his only company is the ghost of the girl from the bathroom).

5) dichotomous thinking and volatile mood, dividing the world only into "black and white" (muggle-borns must be eradicated!.. but can i really kill a person? i hate potter so much!.. but would i betray him to the dark lord?).

also, it's important to add that individuals with borderline personality disorder (bpd) experience frequent and sharp shifts in emotions. from adoration to complete devaluation, mere seconds can bridge the gap. in the first book, when harry rejected draco's offer of friendship, draco immediately eradicated any trace of friendliness or goodwill towards harry. it never even occurred to him to alter his behavior or extend an apology. if someone dared to offend him, that person was promptly expelled from his life. take, for instance, the case of severus snape. the moment lucius malfoy was incarcerated in azkaban, draco ceased to harbor affection for his teacher, gripped by a surge of jealousy. he concluded that snape was endeavoring to assume his father's role and become the new favorite of the dark lord, despite there being no grounds for such an assumption.

so yes, this is all i wanted to say. you may completely disagree with me, and that's okay. in any case, i just needed a reason to write down my thoughts somewhere.

peace and love to all!

#harry potter #draco malfoy #my stuff #bpd #borderline personality disorder

[kurokeip]

Happy birthday to my girlwifeguy. Kiryu.

In all seriousness though, I did go on a rambling analysis of his character arc through the years, that you can read down here.

I hope people can appreciate the surprising nuance that he holds, since he's not often discussed!

I wanted to talk a bit about Kuro's character growth through the years, as it is his birthday, since I feel like it goes unnoticed by people most of the time!

Kuro, as we know, is a character that is a reformed Delinquent. One of the running themes of his Character is his self-worth, his regret, and his complex feelings surrounding how people perceive him.

(I also want to pen down my thoughts on the gender aspect of this later)

His 'atonement' arc begins with him applying to Yumenosaki, a place where he could hopefully become An idol that would make his little sister smile. At the time of his enrollment, however, Yumenosaki was not a place of serious study and passion.

Already we can see his core character traits emergent in this decision: His love for his family, His rash decision making and, Most importantly, his desperate desire to change, something, anything.

(In the interest of keeping this brief I will not prattle on too much about Keito Hasumi's involvement. Another time.)

Kuro was, and kind of still is, grappling with grief. Not just for his mother, but Also for himself. He lost himself, in a way. He missed out that normal life, on being a normal brother for his sister, on being a good son to his Mother and a good friend to Shu.

All of his mistakes overwhelm him, he's paralyzed by how badly he's screwed up, and thus resorts to Passive self harm, in an attempt to tip the scales, somehow. If he lets enough people punch him, he might feel like he deserves to have anything.

I cannot stress enough how bad his self-worth issues are. They are arguably the worst in Akatsuki, and that is Saying Something.

Now, after he joins Akatsuki and the war reaches his conclusion, he's decided to swing in the complete opposite way.

This is what I feel is less discussed, his tendency to mask his discomfort and extreme adaptability. He consistently lowers himself, and by consequence, his Own preferences and needs in order to compensate for a variety of things, like:

- His appearance

- His natural temperament and behavior

- His masculinity (again, thoughts to chew on another time)

This is why I really like Kuro's FS1. It marks his growth in !! Era. In ! Era he was extremely ashamed of his past and actively swallowed down most of his irritation, because he was afraid of what would happen if he got angry. He channels that energy into sewing and Karate instead.

He's trying so hard, to be a perfect Senpai, to live up to his Own view of what a 'good person' is: Someone who is unconditionally loving, forgiving and kind, someone who is... Mother-like. I think about that time he said that a Mother is a transcendent being, quite a bit. It reveals so much.

In Unification By Force, we see him finally snap, lash out at Keito, someone who he had repeatedly reassured that he'd listen to, be obedient to. He immediately regrets it, but it also causes him to contemplate their relationship, and more importantly his relationship with his past.

Kuro is coming to terms with the fact he will never be A good, perfect, shiny person. That people like Keito, Souma, Chiaki and Nazuna, that he idolized in a way, are not good people.

You can never become a 'good person', because the only one that can truly evaluate that is yourself, and if you are predisposed to dislike yourself, You can pretty much kiss that title goodbye.

He... Isn't endlessly kind, or tolerant, or polished. His designs that got rejected, came from a suppression of himself, and it showed in his work. He's rash, stubborn at times, airheaded, speaks crudely and brute forces his way Through things frequently. Even though he hates them, these things are what make him Kuro, Even his delinquent past.

And the Kuro he is today, is loved by so many people, who remind him daily, and they wouldn't love him if he wasn't himself in the first place, blood on his hands and all.

He knows as much, when he acknowledges Keito and Souma's patience in response to his ugly side. The fact that both of them are easily able to forgive and remedy their relationship speaks volumes for how much Kuro means to them, and it finally clicks for Kuro.

He doesn't have to overcompensate. He can't pretend that he never made a mistake, but he can't let it control him. He has to come to terms with his past, and his own self and appearance.

The people that care about him are able to immediately identify when his Outfit concept is Forced looking. His final outfit design is him coming to terms with this. It wouldn't have been the same, had they decided to go with the cute stuff that most people wanted. It wouldn't have been Kuro.

In conclusion, I love Kuro Kiryu and his unending drive to be a better person and his care for other people and his journey through grief and self-love and think people should love him for more than just how wife-material he is! He is so compelling!

#enstars #ensemble stars #kuro kiryu #longpost #sqrambles #me creating tags that i will just forget ok. whatever #ummmm i like kiryu a normal amount. hoping this will reach the other kuro character analysts #i think he is a deeply flawed individual like the rest of the enstars cast #brushing him off as just a malewife is doing him a disservice #but also... yk... I am kind of in love with him so I cant exactly say Never do that #i guess it would be better for me to say I want people to love him more deeply! #happy birthday my dearrrrr

[internerdionality]

Rejection-sensitive dysphoria is WILD, y'all. Seriously, I hate my neurology sometimes.

You see, my brain is absolutely convinced that no one could possibly love me. Any evidence to the contrary is accepted for—if I'm lucky—about fifteen minutes before I immediately start doubting it and searching for more. The slightest ambivalence on the part of any person I care about can and will reduce me to a quivering bundle of anxiety and distress.

And like, here's the thing, maybe this made more sense twenty years ago but the idea that I am unloved is completely and utterly absurd on the face of it. I have a wife and two other nesting partners who have chosen to take my last name as a symbol of our chosen familial relationship, all of who tell me they love me on a daily basis.

I have several, like a dozen, very close friends who consider themselves (and whom I consider to be, but obviously the first part is more important here) my chosen family. People who come over to my house (if they live nearly) and hug me and tell me that they love me frequently.

Two days ago I had a serious, in-depth conversation with one of them just about how much we love each other and want to be part of each other's lives long term.

I am flying tomorrow to be the mistress of honor in another one of those friends' weddings, someone who tells me how happy she is to have me as her "person" as a regular basis.

Oh and like, my actual blood family is also... pretty emotionally healthy? Like there's the inevitable inherited trauma and shit but I see my siblings and parents on a daily and weekly basis and I know they're always going to be there for me when I need them. My dad is coming over in an hour to take me out to lunch just because I had to cancel on a concert last week and he wants to spend some one-on-one time with me.

I have SUBSTANTIAL proof that I am, in fact, a very lovable person.

And yet, because a friend (a good friend, one I've had for almost ten years, someone who has gotten on a plane specifically to see me on multiple occasions) took the weekend before confirming a lunch date for next week (and she did confirm, this isn't even a rejection) I'm reduced to sobbing anxiously on the couch, convinced that she doesn't really want to see me.

WHY?!?! WHY IS MY FUCKING BRAIN LIKE THIS?

#rejection sensitive dysphoria #adhd brain #i'm just stressed out right now #it's not usually this bad #but I'm so fucking tired of it

[qprsmackdown]

PROPAGANDA (under the readmore):

Camilla and Palamedes

They have the most relationship ever. They love each other. They are not complete without each other, necromancer and cavalier. Yet, Palamedes is infatuated with a living corpse who turns out to be a mega death saint that's turning on her god. It's not completely romantic. They've been together their whole lives. Their dynamic. I kind of want it. (if you find this propaganda compelling then feel free to share lol but I will not be checking the box)

You ever so scared of leaving someone that your souls become cosmically entangled and you end up creating a new person?

oh my god. listen. i'm sleepy and it's hard to explain however however. When [SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS] Palamedes dies, Camilla collects pieces of his skull, figures out where his soul is in the ghost river, and then tethers their souls together. And eventually they just collapse into being the same entity (Paul). QPR behavior. Plus they just talk so well to each other, check out their quotes

Jo and Bhaer

in the novel jo talks frequently about how even as an adult she doesn’t understand romance or why people get so weird about it. when laurie proposes to her and goes away to sulk after she rejects him she regrets not saying yes not because she loved him after all, but because she was SO FUCKING LONELY without him. she wouldn’t have married for love at all, she would’ve married her best friend for his company and to keep him close to her. queerplatonic behavior. also in the musical there is NO buildup on jo’s side to her loving bhaer. they are academic equals and they argue frequently, but they love being around each other so they get married. at least how I read the story Jo’s decision comes much more from a place of “if I have to get married and settle down because of the roles I’m prescribed by my society, even though I don’t agree with them, I’d much rather settle down with you than with anyone else. there’s no one I like to banter with more than you,” than it ever did love. jo and bhaers duet at the end of the show is literally not even explicitly romance centered. all of the verses are about how much they’re different. the chorus is just “you make me happy. you make me a better person. I love being around you. I’m lonely when you’re not around” which idk I get like that with my girlfriend yeah but I’m also like that with my other friends. however I get like that ESPECIALLY with my queerplatonic crush so. I diagnose these two queerplatonic. jo march is aromantic I will die on this hill.

#AUGH this propaganda . so good #-mod felix #poll #round 1 #side 1 #the locked tomb #camilla hect #palamedes sextus #jo march #professor bhaer #little women

[masonshmason]

Blitzø, BPD, and the importance of positive mental health representation

NOTE: Before I begin, I want to make it very clear that I am only one person with borderline personality disorder, or BPD. There's a spectrum of how the disorder affects its sufferers and those around them. I'm not pretending to be an expert nor do I condone any form of self-diagnosis. If you feel that you exhibit the symptoms of BPD, please contact your mental health provider or community center.

TW for mentions of depression, s****de, ableism, and self-harming behaviors. It's gonna get heavy in here. Also I have no spoons to go image hunting so I will try to avoid text walls as much as possible I'M SO SORRY

So, what is BPD?

Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD, according to the DSM-V, is "a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and emotion, as well as marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts".

There are nine diagnostic criteria for BPD, but I'm going to cover the symptoms that I feel in my personal opinion that Blitzø exhibits most often throughout Helluva Boss:

Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (in Blitzø's case these are gratuitous spending and sex)

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting")

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

Insert precautionary "demons in hell, it's a comedy, etc" arguments but this is actually very important. I see so much of myself in Blitzø that even if the fact that he meets the diagnostic criteria is completely unintended by Spindlehorse, it's so important to have this level of representation as someone living with BPD.

BPD is not a "nice" disorder to have. It's not quirky, or innocuous, or cinnamon roll status, or something that is easily supported by mental health awareness allies. I would argue that no mental health disorder is. However, in the media and in some circles online, BPD sufferers are overwhelmingly stereotyped as toxic, obsessive, and sometimes even outright dangerous and violent.

I have found only one book worth its salt about BPD that speaks to the person who actually HAS the disorder, instead of directing its message to those around us--the wonderful I Hate You, Don't Leave Me by  Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus. Books for supporting friends and family are important too, but the vast majority of support literature reduces us to a burden inflicted upon those we care about, instead of people who feel immense guilt and shame when we lash out at people we love. Or like Blitzø, push them away out of fear of being rejected and abandoned again when we inevitably do lash out.

To have a character who not only displays the worst of the worst symptoms of the disorder and is still treated like a person, like everyone else, is so important and I am so glad to have this weird little gremlin of an emotional support imp.

#helluva boss #blitzo #mental health #weird essay idk

[thecameronchronicles]

2 A.M.

TW: Smut. Language. Semi-public sex. 

SUMMARY: Your brother’s friend has spent the night as he’s done a thousand times before. Only this time, your relationship with him changes. 

WORD COUNT: 2200

*ORIGINAL CONCEPT*

2 A.M.

You gasped at the sudden jolt your brother’s cruel fingers made into your sides. The same horrid trick he had enacted since you were old enough to endure it without running to your mother in tears. But as you glared at him, you had been blissfully unaware of the way his friends eyed you in your chosen attire. The same style of pajamas you wore every night, shorts and a tee, would act as a means of seduction for the two boys you’d known as long as you could remember. So used to their presence that their longing glances were often misconstrued as temporary focus of the humorous exchange between you and Topper. But one set of eyes looked at you one moment too long to remain platonic. 

“Maybe you can invite Sarah-” Topper began, a tender tone only offered if it meant he could soften you enough to do him this favor. But whether it was payback for the way he had just tormented you not even a minute prior or the fact it was your simple birthright as his sibling, you held your hand up to silence him. 

“I do not want to take any part in your soap opera relationship. YOU have her number…YOU can call her…” 

“She isn’t answering my texts…” He muttered as Rafe commented about his sister’s annoying habits to ‘slum it with the pogues’ while you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Wish I had the same luxury…”

“At least my friends want to spend a Friday night with me. Yours are too busy finding better things to do. Maybe if I paid them, they might pity you enough…” You offered a middle finger set in his direction as both of his friends looked at each other before cocking their jaws to the way you were so easy to rival him. 

“Well since you aren’t going to make yourself useful…scram, squirt…” He shot as you rolled your eyes, watching him reach to the cabinet you’d been unintentionally been blocking. Two bags of popcorn in hand, he set each one to his friends’ grasps before returning for yet another snack. 

“Maybe if you bring us some beer in a few minutes, I might let you drool over Rafe like you used to.” Your eyes widened in horror. One comment to Sarah when you were too young to realize how detrimental someone like Rafe would be in a romantic situation, you were never able to quite live it down. Because of this, Rafe also carried through the taunt, a look of undeserving sadness across Kelce’s eyes. 

“Do you think she’s still into me?” You heard Rafe ask as Kelce offered the nose of the bag to your arm. 

“Want some?” You agreed, offering a kind smile and a shrug, completely unaware that the returned expression was one of amorous notion and not a platonic friend you believed they were as a side-effect of knowing your brother. After thanking him, you moved up to your room in search of something to do. When only boredom found you throughout the array of mentally rejected party invitations, you considered traveling across the hall to torment your brother even further. Perhaps teasing him about Sarah coming over, only to watch him deflate when you confessed your deceit. But even if he could be unruly and obnoxious, you weren’t quite that cruel. Even if he made it tempting…

“It would be more fun if you were here.” The message across your screen made your lips widen into a smirk as you positioned yourself more comfortably upon your bed. Flat on your stomach with her knees at a bend to produce a mindless dance well over your head from behind. This began a conversation humorous and informative as you began to see a side of Kelce you believed was reserved for your brother. But just as you had become comfortable with it, wondering if perhaps the certain comments he made were indeed flirtatious, the responses came to an abrupt hold. Without a second thought as you blamed yourself for reading too much between the frequent lines, you return to the task of a cure for your boredom. 

Nearing midnight, you closed out an hour of thoughtless scrolling through social media before coming to a recent picture of Kelce himself and the way you felt drawn to him tonight of all nights. You’d seen him beneath your roof at least a million times and yet never once had you thought of him like this. With such thoughts that had you curious of what would happen if you were to send him a specific type of selfie to punish him for his lack of a response. Eventually, a string of ‘emergency’ texts from Sarah of a fight with John B had you distracted until your eyes became heavy enough to excuse yourself from the impromptu therapy session. 

But the thoughts of Kelce remained in the back of your mind. Causing for a specific inner restlessness in need of immediate attention. Ignoring this, you began to pace the floor of your house, not willing to risk the bombardment of Topper or one of his friends harboring that moment to hold over your head later. Because of that, you opened the bedroom door to find Kelce exiting the bathroom at the same moment, toothbrush halfway from his mouth. An awkward half-wave was offered as you cocked your jaw before limiting the distance between you. 

“Please tell me you have something to smoke…” His brow lifted as he looked towards Topper’s bedroom. 

“I don’t know how he’d feel about you smoking…”

“There’s a lot of things Topper doesn’t need to know.” You winked, moving to the edge of the hall as the toothbrush now came to the floor. He was quick to reach down and apprehend it as you smirked. 

“Are you coming?” You offered, salacious with your chosen tone, before he followed you to the balcony on the far side of the house. 

“Since when do you smoke?” He questioned as he offered a blunt from his pocket. 

“As long as I’ve been a ‘Thornton’.” He slowly shook his head in disbelief. 

“What?”

“Just every time I think I know you, you’re…you're not what I thought…” You turned your entire focus to Kelce. 

“What DO you think?” You asked, taking that first inhale. Even though you knew it would take a moment to feel the effects of the coming high, you found entertainment in the new tension between you and your brother’s best friend. 

“That you’re trouble.” 

“You don’t know the half of it, Kelce…” You teased with a bite to your bottom lip before moving to take another charge behind your lips. But just before the filter paper made contact to the part necessary, you would feel him pull your hand away. 

“I want you to remember this, sober…” He explained, pulling you to your feet in the lift made of his own physique. A soft guidance to the side of the house as your spine aligned with the stiff paneling at your back. But his lips had yet to meet yours, instead, they simply teased. Instead, his hands rose from your waist and to your bodice, thumbs brushing beneath the tight tee. 

“Kelce-” His hand suddenly appeared at your cheek, silencing you with his thumb across your bottom lip. 

“Good thing for you…I like trouble…” He explained with a soft kiss to your lips, the passion needed now secondary as you found your first kiss to be everything you believed didn’t exist outside of literature or cinema. The tremble found in your smirk as he pulled away was enough to indicate your lack of feigned experience. 

“Is this okay?” You nodded, “You’re shaking…” You slowly nodded. 

“You make me nervous…You make me…” He interrupted you as he teased the divide your shorts made against your body from being a size too big in order to make your tremors carry on in continuation. 

“Wet…” He smiled as you were only able to answer in a deep exhale. The exposed cleavage granted a teasing of his lower lip. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” You nodded, the bobs quickening as he smirked to your desperation. The thumb on your lip returned as he desired to feel your every motion and breath against him. Your eyes came to a sweet close in order to relish and experience each and every feeling he brought as a new sensation to you. 

“Kelce? Brat?” Topper called out as Kelce pushed his body harder into yours, his knee keeping your legs apart as his second hand came over your mouth. 

“Are you a brat?” Kelce whispered into your ear. 

“I think you just need someone to take care of your attitude…someone to make you behave…” Your eyes widened before hollowing out completely in lust. 

“Someone who isn’t intimidated by you…” He continued to speak into your ear as Topper’s steps led in the opposite direction, “Is that what you want?” You nodded as he dropped his hand. 

“Then tell me…” 

“Please, Kelce.”

“What are you asking for? For me to stop?” 

“NO!” You gasped, the edge so close you could feel that tightness familiar within your stomach. A sensation only felt once before. Alone. 

“Then I think you should tell me before you aren’t able to say anything…”

“I want…” Your lips came into a part, ghosting over the separation, only to retreat. 

“Yes?”

“Fuck me, Kelce…please…”

“Let me see if you ARE worth the trouble…” You were suddenly turned against the banister of the porch, left in the sable moonlight and its temporary exposure. Even if nightfall offered some sort of shield, the way he submitted you against the wooden ledge once finally penetrating you, would leave your actions broadcast to any in earshot. 

The feeling of his body at a rage against yours, hips rising and retracting like waves to shore had contrasted and overthrown any potentially pleasurable experience even remotely similar. Self-experimentation and the handful of encounters you’d had prior to him and nothing came close to the way his hands wrapped you into him. Although lustful, he remained careful to the way you were taken. 

“I wanted to do this the second I saw you bent over that counter in the kitchen…” He spoke into your ear from behind. 

“You can…” He smirked. 

“Now, I don’t need your permission, baby…” You groaned before resting your head against his shoulder, feeling him take a deep hold across your chest. His hand wrapped around the column making up the center of the exposed balcony, clawing into the make up as if it could offer some release. As he began to falter behind you, dominance exchanged for basking in the way your body reacted and responded to him, you turned him towards the furniture at your back. 

“I-”

“My turn…” You offered, straddling over him with your entire waist left nude as he’d simply pushed everything aside previously. But once realizing how vivacious you were behind your usually submissive smile, he reached upwards to the straps of your tee, stretching them just enough to move behind your shoulders and expose you completely to him. 

“Fuck…” He breathed deeply upon taking your breasts within his hands, fondling enough to imprison your lip between your teeth. 

“Faster…Faster…” He requested, his tone slipping into submission as you were the one to obey over him. Riding into him as his cock stretched you beyond comfort, quickly mended by a coming orgasm, all sent you to clench your teeth. In those final moments prior to an unleashment of a mutual high better than any drug from any dealer in any rundown part of town, he was suddenly against you. Lips captivating your breasts before he spun and lifted you onto your back. 

“Come quietly for me, baby. Hard. But quietly.” He smirked, nuzzling himself into your neck to allow soft kisses. But it would be the quick and sporadic quick exhales and moans that sent your eyes to roll as he resumed that ungodly pace into your sensitive thighs. 

“Kelce…”

His hand moved over your mouth. 

“Quietly baby, your next time, I’ll have to gag you.” You slowly nodded, thrilled at the thought, before feeling him tighten and relinquish himself within. Your body responded accordingly, shivers and tremors trading until you were left in only the bliss of the encounter. 

“Next time, I’m not waiting until 2 A.M.” He explained, breathlessly. 

“Next time?” He nodded. 

“Definitely…”

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @drewspisces @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916

MASTERLIST

KELCE MASTERLIST

MARCH MADNESS MSTERLIST

#kelce outer banks #outer banks kelce #kelce #deion smith #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks smut #outer banks #obx fanfiction #obx smut #obx #outerbanks #outerbanks fanfiction #outerbanks smut #obxsmut

[lea-andres]

NO ONE ASKED, also I can't draw and shittily slapped this together on my phone, but have my cringe canon x oc ship lmao. They're a mess and I love them. That's Tikal's silhouette because I lack the skill to make one for Dinah.

A refresher on Dinah the Spaniel for the new people, she's an archaeologist Espio meets about two years after games/comics canon in my lore! She's part of a team called Team Cerberus (along with her brothers, Brutus the Bulldog and Carlisle the Terrier), who after the events of Sonic Unleashed started gathering up the world's powerful ancient artifacts and hiding them so Eggman (or any other nefarious villains) can't use them. They hired the Chaotix to assist them on a dig (see my Team Cerberus fic on AO3) and the two teams are really good friends! Well, kind of. The "chaos puppies" as I lovingly dub them are completely crazy, but they pay really well and really like the Chaotix so they keep hiring them and doing them favors, so the Chaotix are a bit more willing to ignore the fact they usually almost die whenever Cerberus is around.

Some additional comments:

Awkwardness Level- This is hard to answer with them because their flirting pre-relationship is best described as "psychological warfare". Sometimes Dinah is conning Espio into believing her sitting in his lap to file his chipped horn back into its usual shape is 100% necessary (he got punched in the face by a sky pirate, long story), sometimes they can't even be in the same room as each other.

They mellow out a little bit once they're officially together, but they're awkward for everyone else to witness lmao.

Dinah: You should kidnap me in full ninja garb sometime.

Espio: That's definitely a normal request and not something a lunatic would want.

Everyone else ever:

(Someone help them LOL)

Spooning- They flip flop. Espio's back spikes make it hard for Dinah to be the big spoon but he also gets cold so 🤷. They roll around and usually make fun of each other.

Rings- Espio's broke as shit and Dinah's a trust fund baby (her mentor/adopted guardian is loaded AF), so she throws a lot of money at him lmao.

PDA- Dinah loves PDA because it's funny to embarrass the shit out of Espio. She probably would engage in it less if he didn't react so. He'll engage in less graphic PDA, but any time she pushes it he's usually telling her to get off him LOL.

Jealousy/Overprotectiveness- Dinah's really friendly with people that interest/amuse her (she'll politely keep her distance from others), which frequently leads to her befriending dangerous people. Sometimes Espio tries to intervene, which usually gets met with ridicule before things blow up in Dinah's face and he gets to "I told you so" her. As for Dinah, she occasionally gets a little prickly when Silver's around (Espio pursued Silver romantically and was rejected, and there's some... lingering feelings there), but beyond that doesn't really give a shit most of the time.

#canon x oc #espio the chameleon #lea's ocs #dinah the spaniel

[zablife]

Hey, Lee! Giving our shared love for dark themes I wanted to ask your opinion on two matters I can't make my mind around 👀

1. What do you think dark!Alfie is like? I personally see him as so manipulative and eloquent that his partner would only realize the nature of their relationship months (or even years!) later, but I don't know if he'd ever be violent/excessively jealous towards them, what do you think?

2. About Tommy, do you think his darkish behaviour is more likely to start with the war trauma or he was born like this? Or does it depend on the AU? 🤔 Because it's canon that pre-war!Tom was a sweet boy and the war changed him, but at the same time his behaviour is so fucked up idk if it could be something developed

Anyways, pls don't feel pressured to answer this ask, hope you're doing well 😊

Lora, I LOVE this ask! Tysm for sending it my way. This is going to be long so I'll add my thoughts below the cut. Note these are my interpretations of the dark! versions of these characters NOT the canon characters so feel free to disagree, but know that they are two very diff interpretations!

1.) Dark!Alfie is a character I've only written short blurbs of and I'm not completely set on my thinking. My intial thoughts are that he was made this way from years of discrimination and hard living. He is playing the part of a king with all its illusions of grandeur. I would agree that he is manipulative and witty in his wordplay often confusing his "prey" before consuming them whole. He often appears to have your best interest at heart, but it's his own needs he's protecting most because he knows its the ones closest to him who can hurt him the most. Therefore, I think he is a very jealous person and does whatever it takes to keep you loyal.

He would explain his possessiveness in terms of his religion (despite being a nonbeliever in my mind). He might say how much women are valued and protected in his community. You would be swept off your feet by the gestures of romance so you might not realize that he's closing you off from your friends and family until it's too late. He is never physically violent. I imagine Ollie does his bidding most frequently so he is never to blame when you're upset. If he's feeling particularly wicked, he might take Cyril away as this is your only company when he's away. Alfie's mind games are the worst punishment of all. I've written about these dynamics in my fics Taking a Walk in the Rain and Playing Games with Alfie.

2.) Dark!Tommy is different in that he was probably born with darkness in his soul. His upbringing only reinforced these tendencies as he watched his mother reject him and seeks to punish every woman who comes after her. Although he would never admit his need for closeness after the horrors of the war, he demands a partner who will cling to him for everything. Their dependence upon him makes him feel godlike and needed. It is reassurance that they will never leave him.

Tommy would probably seek a much younger partner for this reason. Someone he can shape and mold to his exact preferences without question would be his ideal. However, people grow and have needs of their own. If you were to ask him for something he didn't approve of, you would experience his temper and that is a thing to behold. Tommy is a physically violent man. He is capable of hurting his s/o to prove his dominance. For example, Tommy would want a family immediately to anchor you to him. If you disagreed, he would force it on you. There is nothing he wouldn't do to make you his completely. I've written about this in my fics His Last Little Pet, Dark Beauty, How Was Your Day, Reminding Tommy of You, and Keeping You Close.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this as well! Do you agree or disagree on these points?

#zablife ask box #dark!Alfie #dark!Tommy

[nursemimosa]

Will you write in detail about the girls befriending and falling for their partners? The summaries from the pairing memes are so cute, and I'd love some Fifi/Larry dialogue! I need to see her pick on him.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) you're in luck, I have a whole bunch of info already transcribed from when I made the edits of the meme templates, and from my (recently heavily updated btw; OC info carrd), so I'll post them here again, and annotate them as well! for you, and anyone else interested, they'll be below the cut (plus this will be good exercise to help me start my fic's outline)

let's start with my knight x princess girls first; Dendraine (Dendra x Raine). dorky sapphics.

Dendra is a very close friend to both Raine and Fifi upon their arrival to the academy. She meets Fifi first, and they have a kind of playful nemesis type relationship. It is through Fifi that Raine meets Dendra, as Fifi had been working at the academy for a little over two and a half years when Raine arrives for her work study. Raine is paired up to work with Fifi.

Dendra seems to be particular about how Raine feels, often asking if she needs a bite to eat or having her accompany her during a workout. Raine has been sickly her entire life (think Wally from RSE/ORAS, who she does have a connection to as a fond friend in my ficverse btw), and she's also a bit of a lonesome wallflower that doesn't bloom until she meets her friends. (Dendra going "Osu! Hey new girl!" to her tho...)

When she hears about Raine's plans to become a Coordinator, she doubles down and insists that Raine train with her more often to help her gain stamina since I can imagine them being pretty arduous (and in my ficverse they're more like concerts). They train pretty frequently (with Fifi, Miri, and Saguraro in tow).

Both Raine and Dendra seem to be harboring unrequited feelings for people they know. (aka in my fic, Dendra likes Tulip and Raine has always been in love with Jasmine. Raine knew Jasmine back then, and she loved that even though she was shy like her, she was very strong. In my roleplay days, Raine was totally obsessed with her, and I decided to carry that over haha)

Despite this, Dendra finds herself frequently wondering about Raine's well being and how she is feeling. This culminates in her realizing that she may have developed feelings for Raine and leaves her at an impasse- every interaction with Raine leaves her flustered, they're both complete dorks whenever they interact! Tulip and Miri toootally chide her on her crush and ask if she's confessed yet.

After an event that leaves Raine crestfallen (spoiler I guess: but she loses a contest and sprains her ankle in front of her old crush who prior to this, implicitly rejected her), she begins to see Dendra in a new light. Like wow this girl has been by her side all this time....

Raine goes through a bunch of things and realizes she wants to be a teacher and a coach for contestants, based on her experience in the circuit and she will have to do so outside of Paldea. Dendra panics, because she realizes that time is running out to tell her that she likes her. It is shortly before Raine leaves that Dendra confesses her feelings, and Raine responds; saying that she will make sure to prioritize seeing Dendra first whenever she has the chance to visit Paldea, which, while not a direct answer; reassures Dendra. They're long distance girlies 🥹 I don't think Raine would ever leave Paldea in full as her found family is there but this is how their early relationship would play out.

and for the fan favorite plainpancake (both on here and on twitter!? thanks 4 da luv guys)

Larry might have been the first friend that Fifi ever made upon her arrival to Paldea from Unova, as she had originally worked and lived in Medali before moving to Mesagoza. She found solace in the variety of resturants there and upon choosing the Treasure Eatery as her after-work spot, Fifi would find herself frequently running into Larry. After like.. seeing him three times in a row she introduces herself by making idle conversation with him about the food (he ordered the same thing every time she saw him). He's a lot more quieter than she's used to, but she thinks he's a good listener, and deems him friend worthy. She is very used to people rudely telling her to quiet down since she tends to get excited about her favorite things & he's polite about telling her, which she appreciates. She worked with colorful people of all types in the entertainment industry, so she doesn't judge, and in fact, tries to match his energy. He isn't annoyed by her, but doesn't really respond much to her either. Food helps bridge the gap.

From there she makes it a self-appointed tradition to share a dinner with him at least once a week. This continues even after she gets a job in Naranja Academy and moves to Mesagoza. Their friendship starts off quietly and cordially, but Fifi grows comfortable with sharing snippets of her day and eventually going on long winded diatribes about her special interests, much to his chagrin. Whenever she has something she can't really discuss with her friends at the academy, he is usually the one she ends up (drunkenly) pouring her heart out to for better or worse.

Also important; She did not know anything about his roles in the Pokemon League until after she takes on the Gym Challenge. She is taking on the gyms to work on a complex she has with battling and battling against close friends makes her a little nervous (this isn't why she has the complex though). She wins against him the first time, but is completely blindsided by the fact he's in the E4 and it causes her to choke and lose.

After she loses to him she begins to feel smaller and wary around him, feeling like a weak nuisance, so she takes a siesta from dinners at Treasure in the meantime. After a brief respite (chaperoning a field trip in Kitakami, and touring Blueberry Academy with Raine), she finds that one of the main reasons she took her loss to him so hard was because she looked up to his skill (his lack of motivation be damned).

also. she likes him. she doesn't realize it, but she's always liked him. Dendra and Rika cannot fathom this at all and pick on her immensely. "THAT guy? Mr. Milquetoast?? REALLY?!" Rika would totally tell her that he was asking about Fifi during the time she took a break from Treasure just to make the woman flustered. (also a big deal and kinda hilarious since before that, she's been with other ppl in the music industry and even had feelings for Raifort who did not reciprocate)

Fifi's initial confession would probably happen after an incident I have planned involving Area Zero and her being scolded by the League about it. Larry felt unsuited for a relationship as he has expressed little interest and desire for one through the course of his life, causing disappointments in previous relationships (aroace king I feel u). Fifi has stuff of her own, and both felt they would be too busy due to their different jobs. Fifi suggests taking things slow, or even agreeing to stay close and seeing how things develop, to which he tenatively agrees. She confesses once more later on, and he responds saying that he "quite enjoys [her] company", which she gleefully takes as a reciprocation and embraces him. It's sweet and cute. they simultaneously "we're close friends marrying for tax benefits" but also do cherish each other's company. can't wait to write it all.

As for dialogue:

F: "I didn't think ya'd get so into the show*. Whadda ya think about it? Who's your fave?"

L: "Evie. The main character. She's ordinary like me and appreciates simplicity. I understand that. And when she gets overwhelmed and has to hide away in her room to decompress.. I felt seen."

F: "Heh... I always figured you'd be a main character lover. Not that there's anythin' wrong with that."

L: "Your tone of voice implies that there's something odd about liking the main character. Am I right?"

F: "Main characters are usually seen as plain and blank slates so that the audience can grow more attached to them via means of projecting on to them. It's not a bad thing! I just think it's funny. Not only didja pick the main girl but the one who's Tera Twinkle attribute is linked to her Eevee. The Normal type. You're so predictable!"

L: "So I'm plain and a blank slate.. I see. Nice to understand how you see me." F: "Guh! I didn't mean it that way. The main character is supposed to be warm and caring, even if others see them as plain. I think there's something to be said about finding joy in the mundane, right?"

L: "No offense taken. I feel joy sometimes. I'm pretty happy right now (his face is cardboard as fuck).

F: "ahhhhhh.... I'm friends with un-sugared oatmeal!" (she pats him sympathetically on the shoulder or something like that and he doesn't react idk)

*Fifi is obsessed with a magical girl show from her childhood involving magical girls and eeveeloutions that I made up for this universe. Thinking of calling it Eeeveelution/Evielution Twinkle. I think she could bond with Penny over it too lol

#mimosaask #shots-vs-sandstorm #this is pure word barf and i wrote A LOT even tho a lot is copy paste from my files hope yall get what i was sayin' tho lol #mimosa misc #oc x canon stuff #oc insp tag #mine #my OCs #oc #oc fifi #oc raine

[kindan-no-kanojo]

💫 + guilty pleasure <3 here to learn all the secrets

send me a 💫 + a topic and i'll drop a random piece of info about my character

Let me tell you about Scarlett's obsessive liking for kisses<3

As opposed to something that should build up until the tension is released with a kiss between two people, the truth is that Scarlett doesn't always feel it that way. Or never, actually. Yes, a silly friend's kiss feels so different from a lover's kiss, but no one's got time for that relationship development, she wants the kiss now!!

But why?

While, yes, as the kind of demon she is, her touch might get violent and aggressive in a second, there are little chances of her harming someone on purpose, at least she won't without a good reason. Hurting? Maybe, but not deliberately harming. When control lacks, it's hard to differentiate, but one little hint of hope is present when there is trust. And so, one way to touch and be touched while also safely feeling pleasure and emotional relief are kisses. One could say that after being trapped in a loop of negative feelings, Scarlett found that kisses give her the reverse effect, so she wants more, so much more of it.

Character-wise, Scarlett still struggles to accept most of the nice, pleasurable feelings in a positive way without taking them as intrusive for being so hard to manage. However, she won't reject those that make her feel undeniably good.

Kisses feel good: the proximity and the taste of one another, the increase in one's heartbeat or the fuzzy feeling in her chest despite her lack of the normal functions of a human heart... She is still able to feel, but the sensations in her body are way easier to acknowledge than the ones in her mind, which she is unable to control, see, or even put a proper name to. She loves to have someone close enough to feel them breathing, moving, reacting, living next to her, oh-so close. An ironic way of touch starvation, she aches for the chance to touch, not so much to be touched, and see how the other reacts, lets her act, trusts her, and responds.

Needless to say, when in love, kisses become not only more special, stimulating and yearning, but also a little less frequent. She'd seek other forms of affection, physical or otherwise, for kisses to not lose what makes the special. Additionally, a kiss with someone she adores hits 100 times harder, so they deserve to be glorified.

The symbolic side of this revolves around the metaphoric parallel of kissing and eating. I've read so many analogies about kissing being the beginning of emotional cannibalism, kisses awakening a voracious craving, a specific type of hunger that never gets satisfied and only grows the more you eat. I like to subtly implement that in her character, because not only it's so fitting to her race but also it goes perfectly with that insatiable sensation she experiences.

Naturally, random kisses don't provide a lot of that emotion. It's not a feeling she can get from a stranger, or in situations where she's uncomfortable— like when she's angry, irritated or in clear discomfort with the other person; it actually can get the complete opposite effect, boost the negative emotion for using something so precious in such a bad moment.

Outside of that, Scarlett loves kissing. Then again, in spite of everything mentioned, she's not the most experienced kisser, and might get easily overwhelmed when someone kisses her out of the blue. Ghouls hardly ever get any affection, she's no exception. While she won't force a kiss, out of self-preservation, she's most likely always wanting one.

Also. Rough kisses may be her favorite, but gentle kisses?? They touch a specific part of her heart that isn't supposed to be touched, so they need to be careful because being unable to control herself can be dangerous——

People may get confused, but kisses simply have a very different meaning to her. Perhaps that's why it is a guilty pleasure, because the more she does it the less meaningful it can get for whoever is in the other end, and not everyone can get why she does it and loves doing it anyway. But, what are emotions anyway? She can't understand them either, so let her feel in a raw way until she figures them out.

TL;DR; Kissing makes her feel as though she gets to eat someone while simultaneously being able to keep them alive, unharmed and still by her side when it's over, giving the illusion that she isn't the demonic cannibalistic creature she was shaped to be.

...She is though but she can pretend she isn't in the middle of a harmless kiss.

#📭asklett #scarlett wakahisa #starry-nocturne #.im sobbing i wanted to write about kisses for so long dkfjd;; #.smooch her so much until she gets tired of it and has no other option but to love you 😤 #💫brainrot #👁‍🗨. about

[mtdthoughts]

The Themes of Migi & Dali

If you've read my review of the anime on MAL, I've listed some of the themes I've discovered after completing both the Migi & Dali manga and anime. Here, I wanted to elaborate them and discuss how they are brought up in the story. The idea is for this post to be a tl;dr for all of my analyses of the story and this entire blog as a whole. Indeed, a lot of these come from various analyses I've written already.

It should go without saying that spoilers are discussed.

Anyway, here are the themes (in no particular order)

Revenge vs. moving on: This one is pretty obvious, as the twins started off wanting revenge, then with Migi gravitating towards happiness and moving on while Dali is stuck in the past looking to punish the one responsible for their suffering.

Deception, manipulation, and betrayal: Although the twins were fooling everyone into believing they were one person, Dali has frequently deceived and manipulated his own brother, and has even betrayed his trust with the Sali disguise. Similarly, Reiko has deceived everyone including Eiji into believing she is nothing but the perfect mother and perfect woman, while in reality her perfection is built on many lies as well as the betrayal of Metry, who saw Reiko as a sister.

Brotherhood and codependency: Because the twins had no one but each other when their mother died, it fell upon Dali, the smarter and "stronger" twin, to take care of himself as well as Migi, as he was essentially parentified (see my discussion titled "Parentification" for more on this). As a result, the twins initially had a codependent relationship, with Dali serving as the "parent" and Migi serving as the "child", which was ultimately unhealthy for both of them, especially for Dali who accumulated much more of the emotional burden and stress. Thus, one of the most significant challenges the twins had to face was overcoming their codependency and forming a stronger and healthier brotherhood.

Family, friendship, and love: One of the most significant recurring messages in the story was the idea that no matter what issues one faced, they could always overcome them by opening up to others such as family and friends (e.g. the Sonoyamas and Akiyama), as well as accepting love from them. Indeed, it was because of this love that Migi was able to move on from revenge and accept his new happy life in Origon Village, and it was because his love towards Dali that Dali was able to do the same. Similarly, Dali was able extend the same love towards Eiji to help him live on despite the guilt from killing his own mother.

Coming of age and self-discovery: The twins were becoming teenagers, a critical stage in their lives when they would begin to discover themselves. Initially, Migi was content with just copying Dali, but eventually realized his true self and what he truly desired. On the other hand, Dali was stuck with revenge and saw no other purpose, and eventually realized this as he rejected himself, once when he sacrificed himself for Migi, and again when he forced himself into Migi's shadow. Similarly, Eiji's self image eroded as a faced eroded after realizing he had pushed Metry, and he faced a major identity crisis once he had realized that he had killed her and was initially rejected by Dali. But both Eiji and Dali were able to accept their own happiness and imperfect selves thanks to the love extended towards them.

Sin, guilt, and redemption: Over the course of the story, Dali has committed many sins and transgressions against others, including Migi as well as Eiji. He likely became aware of his actions and was burdened by guilt, causing him to reject himself and his own happiness. Similarly, Eiji was also burdened by guilt after realizing that he had pushed Metry and saw himself as a sinner deserving of punishment, and later committed a grave sin by killing Reiko. Just as mentioned above, it was thanks to the love extended towards them that they were able find forgiveness and redemption in living the best they could towards atonement.

Duality and balance: As the story is centered on twins, there were many instances of duality, such as the twins themselves (e.g. their personalities and strengths/weaknesses), the opposing views of Origon Village as "Heaven" or "Hell", the two paths the twins took, and the characters of Reiko and Youko/Metry, etc. Although Migi and Dali have opposing traits and even beliefs, their journey illustrates an important lesson in balance, as (almost) all humans have traits of both twins. Indeed, these identical twins can be viewed as two halves of a complete whole, and one needs to be able to balance both halves to attain happiness and enlightenment in their own lives. For example, one should be as wise and prudent as Dali but also needs to remain innocent and open to love as Migi. Similarly, one needs to recognize their own faults and wrongdoings as Dali but also needs to have the strength to move on as Migi.

The curse of perfectionism, high expectations, and loneliness: Throughout the story, Dali, Eiji, and Reiko forced themselves to be perfect for various reasons. Dali became the perfect boy to pursue revenge as well as the perfect older brother to Migi because he needed validation. Eiji became the perfect boy and son because he wanted to be like the mother he admired the most. Reiko wanted to be the perfect woman because she sought validation from others, including her husband and Metry. Ironically, it was this desire for perfection that isolated them from others, and the admiration others had for them was a double-edged sword that placed unreasonably high expectations on them. They became mistaken with the idea that they were loved because they were perfect, and the high expectations made them more desperate and willing to take extreme actions, as they ultimately feared loneliness. Unlike Reiko, Dali and Eiji were able to break out of this loneliness and need for perfection because of the love extended towards them.

#migi and dali #migi to dali #analysis

[omgkalyppso]

tell me about... étoile: all odd numbers?

Thank you for the ask! <333

1. your oc’s strongest platonic bond?

Answered here.

3. your oc’s romantic interests?

Étoile's (potential?) partners currently include Astarion, Halsin, Zevlor, He Who Was, Komira, Locke and Wyll.

Étoile and Astarion are like a set at this point in my mind, and probably also to each other by the end of the bg3 canon.

Étoile does initially feel guilty about their bond with Astarion at the outset of Astarion's confessions. They worry about how Astarion has bonded to them as the first friend and lover he's had outside of his abuse as a spawn, but they also don't want to voice that and risk losing him forever when they're also so attached. They don't have a similar conversation until after Halsin's made his interest known, and Astarion's so shockingly mature about it. It takes more time still for him to grow back into himself and what love or romance or pleasure could look like for himself beyond the steadfast comfort Étoile's presence offers. Astarion wouldn't be involved with any of Étoile's lovers until at least a year post-canon, probably longer, and then he's involved with most of them, enamoured through Étoile's enthusiasm and familiar through their shared experiences. Depending on how I feel about Voriya after playing through his playthrough, they might be the first lover Astarion takes on his own outside of his and Étoile's shared acquaintance.

While I completely understand why others would reject Wyll's monogamy entirely, I do like the drama it added to his confession for the sake of how it affected his relationship to Étoile and their relationship with Astarion. With this in mind, it's over a decade later, when Wyll is a husband and probably a father, before their relationship starts changing again, before he realizes he doesn't have to give up one love to have another, before he can face the love he has for multiple people without the restrictions he's placed on himself.

Halsin came as a surprise to Étoile, as after what happened with Wyll they expected no other of their companions to risk the same awkwardness, and they expected Astarion to not be comfortable with such a dynamic for years more, maybe even centuries. They also hadn't realized the depth of their feelings for Halsin or at least how quickly they could grow once they started to explore them. Before the epilogue, I imagined they'd be separated for months or years at a time, and just as passionate when reunited — but now I don't think they could stand years if at all possible, and would make strives for annual visits at the very least.

Deciding that Zevlor and Halsin danced around each other during their shared time at the grove, and were intimate the night of the tiefling party — and the night of celebrations after the end game boss' defeat. It is in the first few back and forth months between Baldur's Gate and the Underdark that Zevlor and Étoile would start their own flirtation, and around the six month period where the epilogue takes place that Zevlor would have moved to Halsin's Moonrise village. I think it would suit the life away from soldiering that Zevlor craved.

While Étoile and Astarion may meet and work with He Who Was once or twice more in the lifespan of their shorter lived companions, it's not until like a century post-canon that something would spark or be recognized between them, and then they'd see a lot more of him a lot more frequently for a few decades before that petered out into a visit every three or four years or less depending on He Who Was' goddess' will.

Locke is only present in au's but he gets a mention because we love him (who is we? doesn't matter). Komira lives in Étoile's canon, with survivor's guilt and twisted by the shadow curse into a werewolf. I think she and Étoile share a kiss, not necessarily romantic, but like, companionable, in friendship, in act 3 and that they have very emotional sex a few months post-canon. While I might change my mind later, Komira and Locke thus far are Étoile's only relationships that I think Astarion wouldn't be prepared to participate in. In a canon setting there's too much baggage on either side of Astarion to compartmentalize to enjoy the rest of the intimacy. In a canon-type setting Étoile and Komira have a thing between them regardless of relationship status or any kind of frequency of sexual intimacy. A bond that is always open to the other for unburdening and reliance.

5. two different nightmares your oc’s could have had or two different fears they could have fostered?

Did anyone notice that my phrasing on 5&6 was specifically because I'm so adamant about my elf not having nightmares? fdghfdgh Sorry.

Étoile's largest motivator is their fear of loss of autonomy. Of being a stranger inside and to themself. They want to feel in control of their body and their decisions.

Étoile also fears indifference in themself. They are at peace with taking actions that are going to hurt others, but they never want to be doing it because they don't care.

7. your oc’s first pet?

Étoile's mothers would have had pets that preceded Étoile's presence in their lives. They had dogs that stayed outdoors and in the barns to protect livestock. They had cats in the house to keep the larder free of vermin. I'll say that the first pet that chose Étoile was a brown and orange cat that's something like a maine coon or norwegian forest cat named Récaché (Rehidden). A cat nearly as big as they were that liked laying fullbody across them.

9. how your oc comes into possession of most of their meals?

In Baldur's Gate, Étoile would buy ingredients and prepare a meal on most occasions, sometimes they would eat whatever was being served in the Adventurer's Guild, and at other times would be out at a tavern with friends or a date.

On the road, they wouldn't know anything about hunting while travelling. To them, hunting is something that can take days and then hours (or days again) to make a meal from. They'd have the party scavenging and purchasing from traders for the gang to take turns preparing meals.

Post-canon, in the Underdark, they have vampire spawn set up to butcher the beasts whose blood they consume, tanners for leather and crafters for bone. The meat is largely traded away, either to Baldur's Gate or to elsewhere in the Underdark, but this meat largely sources the central pieces of Étoile's meals, fishing upon occasion for a change in diet.

11. what physical affection means or looks like for your oc?

Étoile is far more physically affectionate to me now than they were when I only knew them from early access. I do think they mean to be subtle at first with people they interpret as more reserved, a lean against them, a brush of hands together, an arm around shoulders; but that ultimately when someone is a friend or a lover or a partner, that they're far more ready to cup their cheek in their hands, to hug and hold and rest their face against them. It is meant as reassurance of their importance to them, even when there's strain between them in some cases.

13. your oc being asked by a stranger to watch their bag for 10 minutes.

Étoile would worry about the bag's owner as the timer got closer to ten minutes and would be relieved to be released from this simple responsibility when the time had passed, but they'd have no problem doing it.

15. how your oc would handle tipping a waitress / waiter.

They probably have an amount that they feel is appropriate to tip regardless of service that they endeavour to leave for relevant workers, but which is inflated if they know the person well.

#oc tag: étoile

[sophierequests]

Hello!!!!! If you dont mind can i ask for a married zoya x reader headcannons please? Thank you!

marriage headcanons

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Pairing: Zoya Nazyalenksy x f!Reader

A/N: I didn't know whether you wanted a f!Reader or m!Reader, so I just picked f!, I hope that's okay with you!

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None really, maybe a little ooc!Zoya

After having rejected Nikolai’s proposals countless times before, she wasn’t necessarily too keen on getting married anytime soon and you were totally fine with that. You wanted her to feel comfortable, and the prospect of marriage seemed to be more of a formal milestone than an actual relationship one.

But once the months of dating started turning into years, she had grown more and more fond of the thought of making things as official as they possibly could be. And she knew that you’d like that too.

So without you noticing it, she began putting together an elaborate plan for a proposal.

Naturally, you said yes.

The wedding was small and intimate. Nothing like the one she would’ve had to go through had she agreed to marry Nikolai. It was exactly what both of you wanted (and maybe also a bit of what Genya wanted, since she took huge pride in being your unofficial wedding planner).

She takes a lot of pride in referring to you as her wife. Whenever she could implement it in a sentence, she would, even going as far as correcting people when they would call you her girlfriend.

“Where did you leave your girlfriend, Zoya? Won’t she be joining us today?”

“My wife will join us later, Nikolai.”

There is a lot of mutual respect and admiration in your marriage. She would never make you feel like a burden, and you try your best to always be there for her when she needs you.

Which does happen quite frequently.

She isn’t the person to wear a lot of jewellery, but her wedding band is always somewhere close to her. Whether she wears it on a necklace, on her finger, or just keeps it safe in her pocket, she’d never lose it.

Sometimes you think that your parents like her more than they like you. It was odd at first, having a family that actually cared about her, but your family genuinely loves her.

“Zoya! Oh dear, how have you been? We haven’t seen you in such a long time. We missed you!”

“Hello ma, I’m here too, in case you haven’t noticed.”

She used to keep her birthday a secret because her parents never really went out of their way to celebrate it. So obviously you had to be the one to change that.

She worries a lot whenever you’re on an excursion without her. Genya often threatened to knock her out after realizing how anxious her friend is.

PDA of the physical kind isn’t really something she’s too comfortable with, but when you’re alone, that behaviour completely changes and she is very needy to be coddled.

Even though you’re married and you really couldn’t imagine being with somebody that isn’t Zoya, she still gets jealous occasionally.

She memorized her vows to a t and recites them when she feels insecure or worried.

Taglist:

Grishaverse in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Zoya Nazyalensky: @maximoffgxrl

#zoya nazyalensky x reader #zoya nazyalensky headcanons #zoya nazyalensky #zoya x reader #shadow and bone headcanon #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine