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#i remember the meltdown when these pics came out
lady-jane3 · 11 months
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Fluffy Swiss smut? Wait- there’s more!
Male ghoul reader, newly summoned and a adjusting to earth. Swiss finds them having a bit of a meltdown of over stimulation since they are sensitive.
°✧ distress ✧°
.
pairing: swiss x male!ghoul!reader
warnings: nsfw & reader is having an overstimulation caused breakdown
a/n: I switched it around a little bit & I am also having a breakdown so I edited this in that state of mind oops
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pic from pinterest
The distress coming off the new ghoul in waves was almost visible and tangible, at least it seemed that way to Swiss as he came to check up on him. Unglamored, the new ghoul curled up over the floor with their claws digging into their head and hissing with discomfort. He didn’t even notice that Swiss had come right up to him until he felt his hand brush against his shoulder. The ghoul flinched and yowled like an angry cat before opening one of its eyes cautiously to see who had approached him. He forced himself to relax when he realized it was one of the band ghouls, though in a full human-like glamour.
Swiss crouched down beside the distressed ghoul and petted down his back, “ It’s hard getting used to the surface, I know. Is there anything I can help you with? Anything I can bring you, sweetheart?”
He took in a trembling, deep breath and looked up at him with wet eyes, “Just don’t leave me alone.”
Swiss pouted in empathy and held his arms around the poor ghoul, feeling him shake with overstimulation at all the new sensations. The ghoul hung their head, resting against his shoulder and breathing too fast. They didn’t move for a long time, silence in the disturbed air as the new ghoul gradually seemed to relax just a little bit. The warmth of Swiss’ fire element kept him somewhat at ease, reminding him of the conditions under the surface. Having grown a bit uncomfortable in that position, Swiss gently laid back and kept the sensitive ghoul resting over his chest. 
He combed his de-glamoured claws through the new ghoul’s hair, “It’ll go away soon, you just need some rest. We’ll all help you out, sweetheart, we’ve been through it too.”
The ghoul hummed in understanding and his tail flicked slightly, but he laid still.
Swiss could still feel the restless, discomforted feeling lurking under the ghoul’s skin and continued to smooth a clawed hand down his back. The room was quiet and he whispered soft encouragement to the ghoul, telling him about how he remembers himself and the others in this state. How he had been a menace for a week and lashed out at everyone then would hole up in his room crying at the overwhelming things bombarding his senses and end the night with so much energy that he couldn’t keep still until he dropped dead asleep from exhaustion. That worked a sweet little chuckle from the new ghoul, who was staying relatively relaxed beside him.
A very specific flick of his tail and the way he looked up at Swiss with a drowsy, crooked smile seemed to shift the air in the room. Swiss leaned back and watched his demeanor change gradually, the new ghoul starting to climb up his frame a bit and their head drawing back as they came face to face with him. He seemed to be moving with the caution of someone about to pounce, though his eyes lidded as though he were drunk and coming onto him.
Swiss slipped a hand along the side of his face, “Hey, sweetheart, you feelin’ okay…?”
The ghoul brushed their head affectionately against his shoulder like a cat rubbing themself against their owner, “‘m fine…”
Combing back the ghoul’s hair, Swiss chuckled and understood what was going on, “You poor thing… dealing with a rut right after your summoning. You’re gonna need so much attention and care for the next week, sweetheart…” 
The ghoul preened at Swiss’ crooning voice. 
Swiss pressed a doting kiss over his head, “We’ll start slow, just you and me. You feel like fucking or getting fucked first, sweetheart?”
His claws dug into Swiss’ arm and chest, so sensitive to everything he was doing to him. The new ghoul nuzzled his head into the curve of Swiss’ neck and his tail swayed in interest. His horn gently nudged against Swiss’ jaw as he looked up into his face with desirous eyes. 
“Please fuck me…” The new ghoul breathed out, leaning over Swiss completely and practically climbing over him. 
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jrob64 · 6 months
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Silly Songs With Killian - a CS Modern AU One-shot
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You can blame @sotangledupinit for this silly, but sweet, little story! She posted a prompt on Discord which caused my muse to jump to attention, and I wrote it in two days. If you're not familiar with the Veggie Tales videos, you'll still be able to enjoy this, but do yourself a favor and check out the songs on Spotify here. You don't have to be a kid to enjoy them and I guarantee they'll make you laugh!
Special thanks to Kit for making young Henry look even younger for the pic set, Mary for being my beta, and Krystal for being a second set of eyes for the Silly Songs lyrics and also for the pic set I created. It pays to have wonderful fandom friends!
Summary: After a frustrating and exhausting day, Emma Cassidy is relieved when her little boy, Henry, is entertained by a gorgeous musician at a restaurant, giving her a chance to sit back, relax, and enjoy the music (and the view!) It gets even better when the singer, Killian, sings some of Henry’s favorite Silly Songs from his favorite videos, Veggie Tales. 
Rating: T
Words: 3946
Also posted to Ao3 and ffn
*********
It’s been one hell of a day. It wasn’t supposed to be this exhausting, but of course my ex, Neal, had to complicate things.
I was looking forward to going wedding dress shopping with my future sister-in-law Mary Margaret and her other bridesmaids, sipping champagne and giving my input on each of the possibilities. It was going to be so much fun.
And then...remember the saying that was popular many years ago - shit happens? Well, Neal can be used interchangeably with shit - they’re one and the same.
It was his scheduled weekend with our three-year-old, Henry, which was one reason why Mary Margaret chose this day. Then on Friday, almost an hour after Neal was supposed to pick Henry up at my apartment, he sent me a text: Something came up. Can’t make it this weekend. Tell Henry I’m sorry.
Apparently he turned off his phone after sending it, because he didn’t answer any of my increasingly volatile texts - eighteen of them, to be exact - or phone calls. I had to sit Henry in front of the television so I could go into my bedroom to leave some choice words on Neal’s voicemail.
Fortunately (or unfortunately for my sweet little boy) Henry is used to being let down by his father. In the eighteen months since we called it quits, Neal has skipped out on more weekend visits than he’s kept. I guess being a lying piece of shit takes up way too much of his time and he can’t spare any for his son.
Also unfortunately, all of the people who usually babysit for Henry were unable to watch him. Most of them were included in the shopping trip, my brother David was busy because he was painting the living room of the house he and his fiancée just bought, and Ruby’s Granny was off bowhunting with her new beau. (Bowhunting with her beau has been a running joke ever since she left a week ago.)
So instead of enjoying a carefree day of shopping with Mary Margaret, Belle, Ruby and Elsa, I had to keep an active, inquisitive toddler entertained in one bridal shop after another. We were all relieved when he finally fell asleep in the third shop, until the manager woke him up by screeching about how he was going to drool on the green velvet upholstery. That cost her any business she might have had from us (though in all honesty, her gowns were all hideous and looked like something only the Wicked Witch of the West might wear.)
Eventually, Mary Margaret said ‘yes to the dress’ in the fifth shop late in the afternoon, then we all decided to get an early dinner at a nearby restaurant that serves kids’ meals and has outdoor seating. If Henry has to spend one more minute inside today, I think he might have a complete meltdown.
After placing my order and getting Henry situated with the provided coloring sheet and obligatory four crayons, I hear someone speaking into a microphone and look over to see a guy standing on a small stage with a guitar. A very, VERY attractive guy.
“Good evening, everyone,” he says, and my jaw drops at the sound of his British accent. “My name is Killian and I hope you enjoy the music tonight. I do take requests. Feel free to sing along or dance in this nice, open area in front of me.”
“Oh, wow!” Belle gasps. “He’s very handsome, isn’t he, Emma?”
My jaw snaps shut and I turn to look at her. Seeing her sly smile, I teasingly say, “Why are you asking me? We all have eyes, you know.”
“Yes, but we all have significant others, too,” Ruby adds, which is completely unnecessary but, sadly, also completely true.
While my self pity begins to set in, the guy - Killian - strums his guitar and launches into the Eagles classic “Take it Easy”. Henry, who by this point has scribbled all over the coloring sheet, somehow managed to break his crayon into at least four pieces and, judging by the color of his teeth, took a bite of it as well, looks up with bright eyes. Since I allowed him to kneel on a chair instead of trying to strap him into a booster seat, he takes advantage of it and hops down.
Before I can chase after him, he makes a beeline for the open space in front of the admittedly gorgeous singer and begins jumping around in what passes for a three-year-old’s version of dancing. I sigh and start to get up, but Mary Margaret stops me with a hand on my arm. “Let him go. He’s been very good all day and deserves to burn off some energy. Besides, he’s only a few feet away and we can see him clearly from here.”
It doesn’t take much convincing for me to heed her advice. If someone else can entertain Henry for a while, I’m not going to complain.
When the song comes to an end, Killian acknowledges the smattering of applause and plays the extremely recognizable first chords of “All Right Now”. Henry doesn’t miss a beat, throwing himself around like a rag doll while all of us at our table, as well as most of the other diners, laugh delightedly at his exuberance.
By the time Killian is in the middle of his third song, “Old Time Rock and Roll”, our food arrives and I face the dreaded task of dragging my son back to the table to eat. I nibble at my fish and chips until the song ends, then dash to the makeshift dance floor to cajole Henry. When he shows the expected resistance, Killian chuckles and helpfully says, “Go with your mum, lad. I’ll play a slow song that’s not as much fun for dancing.”
True to his word, he croons the song “Everything I Do, I Do It For You” as Henry acquiesces and comes back to his seat to shove French fries into his mouth as fast as possible. It might not be a good song for Henry’s style of dancing, but Killian’s smooth voice singing the beautiful lyrics is sending pleasant chills down my spine.
Another song with a slow tempo follows, during which my little man polishes off his fries. But when Killian starts “Footloose”, all bets are off and Henry is back on the dance floor with a chicken nugget squeezed into both of his chubby fists.
After we finish our meals, Belle, Ruby and Elsa leave to spend the rest of the evening with their boyfriends. Mary Margaret lingers, telling me she’ll stay to keep me company, because she’d rather not have to help David clean up his painting mess. We don’t want to take up a table, so we move to some empty seats along the edge of the patio from where we can still see my little dancing king.
“You’d think his battery would run down soon,” Mary Margaret comments.
“Are you serious? That kid is like the Energizer bunny, plus he’s been cooped up in stuffy dress shops all day. My money is on the singer wearing out before Henry.”
She’s uncharacteristically quiet for several minutes. When she finally speaks, she says quietly, “He really is very handsome and seems like a nice guy.”
Her statement is out of left field and I’m confused. “Who?”
“The singer - Killian,” she clarifies.
I narrow my eyes at her. “What’s your point?”
“No point. I was just making a comment,” she shrugs, all innocence.
I don’t believe her. Mary Margaret is the queen of set-ups and wears the crown proudly. She introduced Belle to Will, Ruby to Jefferson and Elsa, well, she introduced Elsa to Victor, but that didn’t work out very well. Elsa met Graham on her own.
“I’m not looking for someone to date, Mary Margaret. I’m still dealing with my idiot ex and trying to concentrate on raising my son not to follow in his father’s footsteps.”
“I understand, but…”
And it’s at this point I resign myself to the fact she’s going to spout some argument that’s going to weaken my resolve not to date.
“If Henry had a really good male role model in his life, it would help you in raising him to be a gentleman.”
“Seems to me David does a pretty good job of that, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“I know,” she sighs, “but between working, getting the house ready and planning the wedding, his time with Henry is very limited.”
“The house will be ready before you get married and the wedding is in less than five months. After the honeymoon, he’ll have more time.”
“Oh, but then we’ll have children of our own, and you know how much time that takes.”
“Is this your way of telling me you’re pregnant, Mary Margaret?”
‘’What?” she gasps. “No! I’m just saying…”
“I know what you’re saying and I hear you. If the right guy comes along, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating him, but I’m not gonna try to force something to happen.”
“Wouldn’t it be nice to have a date for the wedding, though?” she presses.
“Henry will be my date. He’ll be very dapper in his little tux.”
“But…”
“No buts, Mary Margaret. I don’t want to be set up with someone just so I don’t look pathetic at your wedding.”
We both fall silent as we watch Henry continue to dance in front of the bemused musician. Glancing at the time on my phone, I realize he’s been at it for well over an hour and isn’t showing any signs of slowing down. It’s beginning to get dark and I know I’ll have to wrangle him into the car before too much longer for his bath and bedtime.
I feel a little sorry for Killian, though. Nobody else has taken him up on his offer to dance, despite his repeated invitations. In fact, most of the diners aren’t paying attention to him at all. I hate to take his number one fan home, especially when I’m able to sit back and relax while listening to some seriously good music.
“I’m going to take a little break and then I’ll be back,” Killian announces, lifting the guitar strap over his head.
“Well, I guess that’s my cue to take Henry home,” I say to Mary Margaret.
“I suppose so,” she agrees. “Let me say goodbye to him and then I have to be on my way, too. According to his text, David is anxious for me to see how the living room turned out.”
We both stand up and move toward the stage, but I stop in my tracks. Killian is squatting down in front of Henry, listening to him with a huge smile on his face. I don’t know what Henry is saying, and I’m not sure Killian will be able to understand it anyway. Henry has an extensive vocabulary for a three-year-old, but I listen to him with ‘mom ears’, which means I can actually decipher what he’s trying to say.
When we reach them, Killian looks up at us and whatever I was going to say flies right out of my head. From a distance, the man is handsome. Close up, he’s nothing short of breathtaking. Carefully trimmed scruff covers a jawline sharp enough to cut glass, his cheekbones would put every male model to shame, and his dark hair is swept back from his forehead with a few rogue strands hanging down enticingly. Even his slightly pointed ears are adorable.
But it’s his eyes that shut down the functioning part of my brain. To say they are blue is like saying the sun is a tad bit warm, and the way the waning light catches them makes them shine like sapphires. I’m aware that my mouth is hanging open like a fish on dry land, but I can’t seem to make it form actual words.
“Hello, Killian. We’ve been thoroughly enjoying your music tonight, even if we haven’t been showing it as much as this little guy.”
Thank God for the natural chattiness of Mary Margaret.
Killian reaches out to ruffle Henry’s sweaty hair, then stands up. “I’m very happy to hear that,” he says in that beautiful, lilting accent. “I was just telling young Henry here that I’ll play some special songs for him after the break.”
I finally find my tongue. “Oh, but I was coming to tell Henry it’s time to go home.”
My little con artist turns his baby browns on me. “Please, Mommy. I be a good boy, I pwomise.”
That’s just great. Now if I take him home, I’ll have to forfeit my Mom of the Year award.
Mary Margaret laughs. “Well, Henry and Emma may be able to stay, but I really have to go.”
Why did she emphasize my name so much? As if I don’t already know.
She hugs Henry and me, tells Killian goodbye, and winks at me as she passes by. Even without trying to set me up, she’s setting me up.
I look back at Killian, who finishes chugging a bottle of water and grins at me. Reaching out to take my hand, he shakes it and says, “It’s nice to meet you, Emma, and little Henry.”
“Nice to meet you, too, Killian. Thanks for entertaining my son tonight.”
“It’s been my pleasure. I love how uninhibited kids are, and how joyful.”
“Well, his day certainly didn’t start out joyfully at all.” I shouldn’t have said it, but I’m still boiling about what Neal did to his own son, especially when this stranger seems so happy to spend time with him.
“No?” Killian questions. “May I ask what happened?”
I glance down at Henry, not wanting to bash his no-good father in front of him. He’s happily lining up little stones he collected along the edge of the patio, oblivious to the conversation going on above him.
“He was supposed to be with his dad this weekend, but he canceled. Again. So Henry was stuck shopping for wedding dresses with us all day.”
“I see.” He ponders for a second. “Would that wedding dress be for the lovely lass who just left…or someone else?”
“Yeah, it’s for Mary Margaret. She’s engaged to my brother.”
“I’m very glad I was able to make Henry’s day better, because his dancing did the same for me.” We watch Henry play, babbling to himself. “He seems like a happy little lad,” Killian observes.
“I do my best, but as a single mom, I make a lot of mistakes.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Love. All parents make mistakes. It’s a good thing kids have perfect aunts and uncles,” he says with a smirk.
“So, are you an imperfect father or a perfect uncle?” Am I really flirting with him right now?
“I have two nieces, so that would make me the latter.”
“Do you get to see them very often?”
“Aye, they live just a few miles from me, so I spoil them as often as possible. They’re my brother Liam’s girls.”
“Doesn’t sound like you’re originally from the U.S., if you don’t mind me saying.”
He chuckles again, rubbing his finger behind his right ear. “We were born in England and lived there until I was fourteen, then my father took a job here so we moved across the pond.”
“That explains the accent.”
He nods and checks his watch, blowing out a breath. “I should probably get back to my set. Will you allow young Henry to stay for a few more songs?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Sure. What’s another fifteen minutes in the grand scheme of things?”
A genuine smile splits his face. “Excellent! I think he’ll particularly like the next three or four songs I play.” He looks around and grabs a nearby chair from an empty table, setting it down beside me. “Won’t you please have a seat, Emma?”
“Such a gentleman,” I say, sinking onto the offered chair.
“Oh, I’m always a gentleman.”
Somehow I don’t mind him flirting with me.
He steps back on the stage, slips his guitar into place, and positions himself in front of the microphone. After giving me a wink, he announces in an overly accented, squeaky voice, “And now it’s time for Silly Songs with Killian. The part of the show where Killian comes out and sings…a silly song.”
I burst out laughing at the very familiar words. Henry is addicted to Veggie Tales, the wacky shows featuring talking fruits and vegetables. I love them because they teach good moral values; he loves them because they’re hilarious. His favorite part of every video is Silly Songs with Larry the Cucumber, which we watch over and over and over again. Apparently he conveyed this obsession to Killian.
Killian closes his eyes, somberly strums his guitar, and sings, “Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh wherrrrrrrre…is my hairbrush?”
Henry is jumping up and down like a kangaroo on a pogo stick, shouting, “Mommy! Mommy! It’s the Lawwy song! Keeyin is singin’ the Lawwy song!”
Wiping tears of laughter from my eyes, I look around at the half-dozen people at the tables, who are looking at the musician like he’s lost his damn mind. Bunch of sticks in the mud. Lighten up.
But Killian isn’t bothered by their response, or lack thereof. He smoothly transitions to another of Henry’s favorite silly songs. “Oh, everybody’s got a water buffalo. Yours is fast, but mine is slow. Oh, where’d we get them, I don’t know. But everybody’s got a water buffalo, oooooo.”
Henry is beside himself with excitement. He’s running around in a circle, waving his arms in the air in his best impression of a rabid chimpanzee.
Killian moves on to sing a few lines of “I Love My Lips” (I can’t help thinking I’m quite fond of them, too), followed by “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything”.
By this time, the diners have relaxed, laughing and clapping along with the crazy tunes. Meanwhile, my son has finally worn himself out, collapsing in a small heap in front of the stage, looking up at Killian adoringly.
“...and we’ve never been to Boston in the falllllll,” Killian concludes with a flourish and takes a deep, dramatic bow.
I dig into my purse and pull out a twenty dollar bill. I always try to watch my budget, but I’ll skip getting a chocolate caramel latte for a few days to compensate. It’s worth it for what Killian did for Henry tonight.
Walking up to the stage, I drop the bill into the tip jar, smiling up at the singer. He’s between songs, so I say, “Thank you so much, Killian. You’re my hero for entertaining Henry tonight. It was great and he loved it, didn’t you, kid?”
Henry jumps to his feet. “I weally did, Keeyin! I love Lawwy songs!”
“What do you tell him?” I prompt.
“Thank you, Keeyin,” he says obediently.
“You’re very welcome, lad. I play here again in three weeks. Perhaps you can stop in and see me again?” He’s talking to Henry, but he’s looking at me.
“Can we, Mommy?” Henry pleads.
I know we probably can’t. This restaurant is all the way across the city from where we live, plus it’s pretty expensive. Mary Margaret footed the bill today, but twelve bucks for a kid’s meal is a little steep and I won’t pay it. I don’t want to say any of this though, because my tired son is walking a thin line between lingering happiness and an emotional collapse. So I use the parental standard, “We’ll see.”
Taking Henry’s hand, I say, “Thanks, again, Killian. Have a good evening.”
Something that looks like slight panic flashes through those gorgeous eyes of his and he speaks into the microphone, “I’ll be back in five, folks.” He slides his guitar around to his back and steps off the stage, placing himself directly in front of me. “Emma, if I may be so bold, and if you’re not already dating someone, would you consider going out with me?”
“Wh-what?” Apparently, getting asked out by the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on renders me a bit stupid.
He lightly wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls me further toward the side of the patio for some privacy. “Even though we just met, I would really like to get to know you better.”
“But…but you don’t even know my last name.”
“What is it?”
“Cassidy.”
“Mine is Jones, so now we know each other a little better already.”
I stare at him, trying to think of a single reason why I should say no to him. “I…we…um…Henry and I, we…uh…we come as a packaged set.” That’s the way, Emma. Use your kid to try to scare him off. And you did it so gracefully, too.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m really quite fond of your son. That’s not a deal breaker,” he states firmly. He still hasn’t let go of my wrist and now he’s rubbing his thumb over it. I find I don’t mind at all.
“I…”
“Mommy, potty!” Henry announces.
Oh, geez. Killian has to get back to his set and Henry has to pee. I’m running out of time.
Dropping Henry’s hand, I rummage through my purse, trying to find a pen. “Got a piece of paper?” I ask, mid-rummage.
Killian dashes to his guitar case and pulls out a piece of sheet music, returning with it just as I locate the elusive pen. He plants his foot on a chair and slaps the paper down on his knee so I can scribble my number on it.
When I finish, I lift Henry into my arms and take off to find a bathroom. Before disappearing inside the restaurant, I glance back at Killian. He’s still standing where I left him, a broad smile on his face as he grips the paper in his hand. Raising my free hand, I give him a little wave and he returns it.
After I’ve had time to think about it, I might regret giving him my number. Right now I just have to keep my kid from peeing down the front of my dress.
*********
A year ago, Killian Jones was my hero for giving me a chance to relax while he entertained my son. Five months later, he was once again my hero by being my date to Mary Margaret and David’s wedding. Today, he’s still my hero because he’s continuously proving that not all men are incomparable asses.
On the contrary, he’s everything I dreamed a man should be, once upon a time. Killian Jones is talented, intelligent, funny, considerate, masculine, caring, loving, passionate, and a great conversationalist, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous (if I didn’t mention that, it would be a crime.) He’s the total package and I’m head-over-heels in love with him.
Oh, and he’s a fantastic role model for my little boy. I usually hate to admit when Mary Margaret is right, but in this case, she was unequivocally correct. He and Henry absolutely adore each other and it makes my heart so happy. They do everything together - read books, play Star Wars with lightsabers, build block towers, climb trees, ride bikes, you name it.
And Henry loves singing silly songs with his soon-to-be stepfather. What more could a mother want for her son? Except, perhaps, a sibling.
Killian and I are working on that…and thoroughly enjoying every second of it.
*********
Thank you for reading. I hope it brightened your day!
Tagging: @hookedmom​​​​​​ @kmomof4​​​​​​ @cs-rylie​​​​​​ @qualitycoffeethings​​​​​​ @grimmswan​​​​​​ @wyntereyez​​​​​​ @the-darkdragonfly​​​​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​​​​ @paradiselady19​​​​​​ @xarandomdreamx​​​​​​ @motherkatereloyshipper​​​​​​ @julesep3026​​​​​​ @courtorderedcake​​​​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​​​​ @pawshapedheart​​​​​​ @vampcoffeegyrl23​​​​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​​​​ @captainswan4life85​​​​​​ @bluewildcatfanatic​​​​​​ @eleveneitherway​​​​​​ @elfiola​​​​​​ @kday426​​​​​​ @julieenchanted-swans​​​​​​ @gingerchangeling​​​​​​ @andiirivera​​​​​​ @djlbg​​​​​​ @jonesfandomfanatic​​​​​​ @snowbellewells​​​​​​ @huntressandlioness1​​​​​​ @anmylica​​​​​​ @booksteaandtoomuchtv​​​​​​ @pirateherokillian​​​​​​ @cocohook38​​​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​​​​ @laschatzi​​​​​​ @zaharadessert​​​​​​ @jennjenn615​​​​​​ @yasbio2015​​​​​​ @lyssapup27​​​​​​ @nachocheese-itsmycheese​​​​​​ @singersdd​​​​​​ @mie779​​​​​​ @undercaffinatednightmare​​​​​​ @winterbaby89​​​​​​ @xsajx​​​​​​ @jackieorioncat​​​​​​ @teamhook​​​​​​ @bdevereaux-blanche​​​​​​ @soniccat​​​​​​ @searchingwardrobes​​​​​​ @jarienn972​​​​​​ @apiratewhopines​​​​​​​ @softkilly​​​​​​​ @goforlaunchcee​​​​​​​ @kymbersmith-90​​​​​​​ @captainswan217-blog
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antipolin · 2 months
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Your take on Nicola in the last anon is something I have thought for a while. Just look back at her previous interviews for season 1 and season 2, she only ever talks about herself and never the leads or anyone else in the show, even the Tudum she hosted for season 2 she tried to take all the attention onto herself whenever it seemed to go onto any of the others for too long, and tried to insert herself into every response. Like when Simone and Jonny were acting up and having one of their private conversations she made a snarky comment about them to get everyone's attention back on her.
I will be surprised if we see her posting much about anyone else but herself over the next 5 or 6 months, during the promo I won't be surprised if she managed to get some interviews solo, even without Luke N to be honest. She hates sharing the spotlight with anyone.
I remember seeing someone say that when she was on GBBO with her Derry Girls costars she came across as not liking the attention off her at all, and that was before Bridgerton came out.
Her fans aren't much different to be honest, they hate any other characters or actors getting more attention than Nicola, they had a collective meltdown when British Vogue put the Kanthony picture first after the Christmas picture release, and they complained like anything back when the filming video came out and a lot of the comments were asking where Simone was, they just didn't like the attention being on anyone but Nicola.
I really hope that Kanthony, Benedict, Francesca, and yes even Eloise, take a lot of the spotlight from her for the season, it will be karma in my opinion.
I had an anon send me an ask about them meeting her at some event once. And apparently that interaction with her didn't impress the anon either.
I didn't know about her on the GBBO but after hearing the story from that other anon, I'm not totally surprised. One 'rude' or bad incident, I could chalk it up to her having a bad day.... But adding it with this one and most of the press we've seen her do, it seems to be more of a character trait than anything else.
It's funny b/c I feel like whenever one of her co-stars have big news that gets announced professionally, she 'happens' to post something that same day. Like almost to take the attention away from them and back on her. She did it the day one of Simone's Vogue shoots was released and she did it the day Luke's A Little Life casting was announced. I know she's done it in other instances too but those are the one's I remember for sure.
Again, even this past week.... She posted ONE picture that had half of LT's face in it (which I'm pretty sure was at the SNL after party) and whoever else's hands were in that pic.... And I still wonder if she felt like the comments were too much about him or something. Because after that, she's ONLY posted pictures of herself. She hasn't even bothered to post pics of her with her on screen love interest.
Meanwhile, Luke Newton at least posted that Bridgerton sibling photo of him, LT, & Claudia in front of the NYC library. And then of him and Claudia at the NY Knicks game.
She gives off HUGE narcissist vibes to me and it really is annoying for someone who's only acting strength is mid-comedy movies or shows.
Nicola fans are very annoying though. Because when she posted that SNL pic with LT there, it was 'oh they're dating!' (girl in what world please be serious) and not 'oh he's there to promote S3, he's got a big role!' (like he's S4 or something, imagine that!).... Like they can't stand the idea that anyone but her will be promoting S3 or being more charming than her in interviews.
Honestly everyone will take the spotlight from her b/c her character is so unlikable imo.
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That image for KUNG FU PANDA One looks a wee bit different, doesn't it? It's the very first publicity pic that got out for the movie, waaaay back in the fall of 2005...
I skimmed through an old article of mine on another site, and I remember the world of upcoming animated movies... In around late 2005... Looking like this.
Yes, it's a random year. No milestone or anything, as 2005 was 18 years ago, rather than 15 or 20... But I thought I'd share this.
This was what was announced as upcoming back then... To give one an idea of what happened and what didn't, and how radically different some studios' slates were:
2006
ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN (Fox/Blue Sky)
THE WILD (Disney/C.O.R.E.)
OVER THE HEDGE (Paramount/DreamWorks)
CARS (Disney/Pixar)
MONSTER HOUSE (Sony/Amblin/ImageMovers)
THE ANT BULLY (WB/DNA/Playtone)
BARNYARD (Paramount/Nickelodeon)
OPEN SEASON (Sony Animation)
RATROPOLIS (Paramount/DreamWorks/Aardman)
HAPPY FEET (WB/Roadshow/Animal Logic/Kennedy Miller)
A DAY WITH WILBUR ROBINSON (Disney Animation)
ARTHUR AND THE MINIMOYS (EuropaCorp)
DELGO (Fathom/Electric Eye)
HAPPILY N'EVER AFTER (Lionsgate/Vanguard)
FOODFIGHT! (Threshold)
2007
TMNT (WB/Imagi)
SHREK 3 (Paramount/DreamWorks)
SURF'S UP (Sony Animation)
RATATOUILLE (Disney/Pixar)
BEOWULF (Paramount/ImageMovers)
BEE MOVIE (Paramount/DreamWorks)
AMERICAN DOG (Disney Animation)
2008
CAT TALE (MGM/Imagi)
KUNG FU GECKO (Egg Story)
KUNG FU PANDA (Paramount/DreamWorks)
MADAGASCAR 2 (Paramount/DreamWorks)
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (Fox/Gracie Films)
THE SMURFS (Paramount/Nickelodeon)
TOY STORY 3 (Disney/Circle 7)
2009-beyond
FINDING NEMO 2 (Disney/Circle 7)
FRAIDY CAT (Disney Animation)
IT CAME FROM EARTH! (Paramount/DreamWorks)
MONSTERS, INC. 2: LOST IN SCARADISE (Disney/Circle 7)
PUNK FARM (Paramount/DreamWorks)
RAPUNZEL UNBRAIDED (Disney Animation)
REX HAVOC (Paramount/DreamWorks)
RIBBIT (Vanguard)
ROUTE 66 (Paramount/DreamWorks)
SHREK 4 (Paramount/DreamWorks)
UNTITLED SHREK PREQUEL (Paramount/DreamWorks)
And probably a few more that I'm missing, but that's what the landscape looked like back then. It's fascinating to see what didn't make it, what certain films on here later morphed into, and what ended coming out and when...
Shall we dive in? I think I will, briefly...
Most of the 2006 movies made it to their intended release frames, as many of them had trailers out by the end of 2005. After Michael Eisner stepped down as CEO of The Walt Disney Company, his successor Bob Iger bought Pixar, and two of Pixar's top brass - John Lasseter and Ed Catmull - assumed control of Walt Disney Feature Animation, changing the last two words to "Animation Studios". Their "overhaul" of the studio resulted in the delay - and re-titling - of A DAY WITH WILBUR ROBINSON, which became MEET THE ROBINSONS and opened in spring 2007. RATROPOLIS is retitled to FLUSHED AWAY, to avoid possible confusion with RATATOUILLE, so as not to have another ANTZ/BUG'S LIFE, FINDING NEMO/SHARK TALE situation on everybody's hands.
DELGO, infamously, got pushed back multiple times. It was already pushed back several times by that point to begin with, until randomly appearing out of nowhere a little before Christmas 2008. Happy 15th anniversary!
FOODFIGHT!, an even more infamous production, wouldn't be released until 2012 at the earliest after so much went wrong during "production" up until its sale by its completion bond company. We all know the story of that travesty!
2007 also largely stays the same... THE SIMPSONS MOVIE was thought to have been a 2008 release back in 2007, and out of nowhere a teaser for it showed up before ICE AGE 2 and confirmed it was actually coming out in summer 2007, which it did! AMERICAN DOG was to be Chris Sanders' sophomore Disney Animation effort, until Lasseter fired him from the film at the end of 2006, and it would be completely retooled into BOLT, which released in fall 2008.
2008 is where things get interesting... Outside of THE SIMPSONS MOVIE moving up a year, we have a Paramount/Nickelodeon Smurfs movie that was set to kick off a trilogy and had a cast... And curiously, after three Sony-made Smurfs movie, we're getting a Paramount/Nickelodeon Smurfs movie in 2025.
CAT TALE was to be made by Imagi, who of course did the 2007 TMNT movie and the 2009 ASTRO BOY picture. It, too, had a cast and a logo. It was supposed to be about a cat ending up in an all-dog city, playing off of old cats-vs.-dogs tropes. I wonder how much of this thing got quietly transplanted into PAWS OF FURY: THE LEGEND OF HANK over the years? That too was a looooong-gestating film.
TOY STORY 3 was not going to be the movie we all know, this was going to be the version that was being made by Circle 7, a studio Disney set up to make sequels to Pixar's films. This was when it looked like Pixar were going to part ways with The Walt Disney Company after their contract was up. Disney had first rights to the movies produced under the contract, and these sequels were a way for big bad Diz to play hardball and get them to renegotiate. Iger threw out this Eisner tactic, and instead offered to simply buy the studio. Pixar took over TOY STORY 3 and made their movie, not what the Circle 7 movie was going to be: Buzz Lightyear being recalled to Taiwan.
Then you have... KUNG FU GECKO... Sharing a year with KUNG FU PANDA. I remember the minor controversy over this one on animation blogs and forums and such back in the day; that DreamWorks were supposedly trying to sabotage this small Singaporean animated film that had a trailer out and everything. (It wasn't rolling in theaters, you had to dig for it online. It was an independent production through and through, and the guy spearheading it had worked for DWA in the past.) But yeah... This thing was real... And it never got made, because its studio (Egg Story) got shuttered. Apparently it was retooled into a TV production, but I've seen no sign of its existence. If it had been made, it would've probably been re-titled.
(Update: Actually... It kinda... Was... Made? As an NFT animated series. Yeeeuch.)
2009 and beyond... DreamWorks had the bulk of the titles here. REX HAVOC, a comic adaptation, would later be retooled into an original story sharing some similarities: MONSTERS VS. ALIENS. IT CAME FROM EARTH! - about aliens dealing with human invaders - never happened, ROUTE 66 - a truly bizarre project about the statues in front of the various local businesses being anthropomorphic - got left behind, animal rock band romp PUNK FARM was later transported to MGM but ultimately went nowhere... SHREK 4 would of course happen, the prequel did not. PUSS IN BOOTS went from straight-to-video affair to theatrical film, and dropped the subtitle THE STORY OF AN OGRE KILLER. Similarly, the Penguins from MADAGASCAR were to get a direct-to-video movie of their own that would later go theatrical.
Circle 7 had a MONSTERS, INC. sequel and a FINDING NEMO sequel ready to go by the end of 2005, with scripts and everything.
RIBBIT was one of many proposed Vanguard Animation movies, after their debut feature VALIANT was released and when HAPPILY N'EVER AFTER was in production. Apparently they still plan to make it, along with like 20 other movies they had wanted to make for years... It's a very weird production company.
Disney Animation's RAPUNZEL UNBRAIDED, of course, got retooled into RAPUNZEL and was given to Glen Keane and Dean Wellins to direct... Until Keane and Wellins stepped down, Lasseter gave the film to Byron Howard and Nathan Greno, the film became TANGLED. This partially explains why it's one of the most expensive animated films ever, Disney got pretty far with test work and other development work for UNBRAIDED. FRAIDY CAT was to be the next Ron Clements-John Musker picture for the studio, but they left as morale got lower and lower before Lasseter and Catmull were put in charge. When they returned to Disney Animation, they were assigned THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, and never looked back on FRAIDY CAT. (It wasn't their concept to begin with.)
Yeah, I just felt like reminiscing about my younger days on the Internet and the first time I caught wind of lists of upcoming movies that I was initially unaware of, lol.
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and-it-might-not-ever · 9 months
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Richard Goldberg being released May 2024..
If you are unaware of Richard Goldberg, he was a very widely known child molester and CP producer and distributer who fled to Canada and was caught in 2007. Though the main reason for P2P file sharing programs where taken down due to piracy, another huge reason was the sharing of CP. His username/alias/keyword was "r@ygold".
I wanted to share how he affected my life, tell a bit of my story, and see if any others were aware of him too. This is going to be a bit long but I'd appreciate if someone gave it a read.
I was 15/16 in 2007. It broke in the news of his final catching and arrest, how he fled to Canada, being sentenced to prison for 20 years. It was a big moment because at the time he was in FBI's top wanted fugitives. After reading reports and articles, when I saw that username "r@ygold" it sent a shock through my system and dug up an old memory I kept buried and swept under the rug out of complete fear of what would happen if I had told.
My older brother, (I was 10 or so at the time and my brother was 20/21?) had a computer with the program Kazaa. I knew how to burn CD's at the time and would often download music from these programs and make CD's to listen to on the bus. My favorite band was Garbage at that age. There was a list of previously downloaded files, and I remember seeing that username with file names referring to 5-12yo's and the acts. I NEVER clicked on them because I knew straight away what it was. The descriptions were right there in the titles. I was molested from ages like toddler to 5 years old by my grandfather. It only stopped until the point he physically really wasn't able to anymore and I remember being in the hospital room as he was dying and not being sad. I was a pretty numb kid.
So back to when I was finding out my brother was enjoying the things that destroyed me, things that made me unable to focus and very depressed. My mother would beat me for random things and especially not doing homework because I literally could not focus because of all the pain. I was on zoloft at 8 years old. The reason I didn't tell is because my brother is EXTREMELY violet, always caused fights, couldn't handle a family merge between my father's and his 2nd wife's. I.E was not getting all the attention and ass pats for being high functioning autistic. My brother said HIMSELF to people like me and his friends he would play up his autism to get out of things. So one, that made me scared he would use that as an excuse and then COME AFTER ME. The guy who would choke my sister, punch walls and windows, and slammed my first dog on the ground knocking it out/go into shock (which I still have nightmares of in my sleep to this day no matter how good of a day I could've had). He did end up killing my dog by strangling it to death.
So it ended up being a huge secret, one I tried forgetting about because of the fear and feeling like an overall futile situation from being overlooked because of his condition or one that would end up in me getting hurt and really unleash fury on me and others. I was always in a position with no one standing up for me because no one bothered to try to get me away from my mom knowing she was an extremely abusive person (I do remember my dad's 2nd wife taking pics of my bruises but nothing ever came of that situation, told a 4th grade teacher about it and she looked at marks on my legs and said something like "oh that's just from the chair you're sitting on")... and given my family always GAVE IN (especially my dad) to my brother's meltdowns and tantrums to make the sheer violence stop. When that case got re-opened in my mind from seeing it in the news, I remember exactly why I harbored so my resentment for my brother, not just because of all the fights and what hell he made everyone's life.. But because he was a pedophile.
Fast forward to me being 18, on my dad's laptop (it was just a household of me, brother, and father because my mom kicked me out because I had a suicide attempt and didn't want to deal with me anymore).. I did come out to my mom at 13 what happened to me (her father) because picking up the pieces and getting more intelligent it really dawned on me how AWFUL it was that happened to me and the effect it had. She did not believe me. She took me for ice cream after picking me up from school as if that would fix my world falling apart. So back to year 18- I was looking for job on the laptop. It was always a goal in mind to start working, save up, eventually getting away from my family because there was never a safe place for me with all the fights and abuse. SWAT team busted in and seized all of our electronics, computers, etc. First time I ever had a gun pointed at me.
Turned out the culprit they were after, was not my brother as I suspected, but no... my father. It tore my world apart. I then realized I was always surrounded by pedophiles and one unanswered question still in my mind to this day is- if my father knew what my grandfather was doing since it happened for so long and let it happen. My brother had the audacity to justify my dad's CP saying it was just from a porn addiction. Come on. There is something so EVIL about literally getting off to children. Shocker he would be a CSA apologist right? ....
So my dad was in possession of CP. Somehow they let him off. Put on the RSO list. What hurts even more, is that it happened a SECOND TIME when he moved out to live with who is now, and still, his third wife. After the first time he came and cried with me on my bed. I somehow felt he was sorry for what had happened and knew how bad it hurt me. After the second time, I never talked to my dad, and still don't. Had a moment of weakness a couple years ago to talk to him, because on a good note I did end up leaving the state and now live 5 hours away from any family I have, never been happier. I just kinda wanted to make it known how well I was doing. Had talked to my mother too around the same time and asked if she ever believed me. She said "well, I do now".. Bitch there is no believing me NOW when you NEVER took my mental health seriously. Then no more contact with anyone. I don't talk to anyone in my family at all besides nieces/nephews and it's still very minimal.
Because I was able to cut off any toxicity in my life I am doing tons better but I still have flashbacks and nightmares, some bad days but extremely thankful for where I am now not having ANY help from anyone else. I did it all by myself.
So concerning this criminal and seeing as to how he's going to be released is leaving me in confusion and shock. For one, how did he survive in prison? Cause we all know how inmates take to child molesters especially this guy being one of the MAIN DISTRIBUTERS of CP. It said he was moved to a federal prison specializing in those with mental health issues. Did he just play crazy? I mean yeah there's mental health issues with pedos but you know what I mean. What happened there? Why would officials WANT to protect him or provide him ANY mental health services with such severe crimes?? When first being sentenced it was said "Goldberg is a deeply disturbed individual with a lack of remorse beyond belief." I'm amazed he wasn't killed by other inmates for his crimes and maybe played crazy to be protected, regardless, it's amazing he is being released and since he didn't show any remorse I think it is possible he would offend again.
Many, let's say, "normies" are under the impression that someone so old wouldn't be able to offend but we have seen this many times. If anything people look at the old person like "oh what harm could he do he can barely walk".. Somehow in people's eyes, and what you could be charged with, molestation and rape are considered 2 different things. They could be, but the effects are the same. It literally ruins lives.
I'm about to say something graphic here so trigger warning:
Just because a male is older and not able to become erect does not make a difference. There are sick people who would still lure and touch a child, it's sick to even LOOK at a child in that way, and if my grandfather was able to get erect he would have penetrated me because he tried. I fear this sick man "r@ygold" has a possibility of doing something again, either to an actual child or be in possession of illegal material since the "lack of remorse beyond belief". I'm just hoping when he is released maybe just be put in some type of home and institution away from the general public with no access to internet. And I don't just say this about anyone... I truly wished he would have been killed and would have joined my grandfather in hell.
If you made it this far in reading, THANK YOU. If anyone out there has a similar experience concerning "r@ygold" I would appreciate your input.
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baekhvuns · 10 months
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I hope we get some updates from Kai soon, I heard SM requested not to send him letters? And I hope he will be able to rest and regenerate, but social work is so weird, because he's literally home and kinda free, but can't participate in the cb... such a strange arrangement. At least when you're actually in the military you're away. Armchairs saying shit like "oh, he thought the BTS law applies to him?" stfu, cunts for real. But thank you Kim Kai for serving so hard with Rover, the world will remember!
Nope I'm back in Seoul, I'm staying here then going to HK for a moment, idk when I will be back in London and tbh I'm not looking forward to it 😬
AHHHHHHH I SAW SHINEEEEEE TWICE AND ON DAY 2 MINKEY CAME TO MY SIDE AND THEY WERE LITERALLY NEXT TO ME, MINHO TOUCHED MY HAND! AND HE HUGGED SOMEONE TOO. They performed one of their new songs, summer bop me thinks! And DCM DANCE PRACTICE AFTER 1000 YEARS WOW
Omg I hate when the questionable webtoons get adaptations (yes, True Beauty I'm talking about you) idk why they're so popular... maybe a good cast can somehow save it
Can I be a hater again and say that Seonghwa in grills looks so silly, like I'm sorry but asjjsjshahshsdjsjsbs y'all stay safe screaming, shaking and throwing up, but I legit yelled JUMPSCARE when he appeared 😭 guess no matter how down bad for him I am, I still have my limits. He has a villainous face, but he's not a gangster YOU WON'T FOOL ME. Grills make sense on rappers, but otherwise I really dislike them... A biker jacket and grills, oh he really thinks he's a Neo 😬 face card didn't decline ofc he looked hot, just let's keep the mouth closed, amen 🙏🏻 Why can't they do more for the promo pics and why can't they post more photos....
I'd say so far the MG x HJ song sounds the most interesting, overall the songs don't necessarily stand out. And look I like noise and fun, ass shakers are okay, but I need more versatility y'know... They haven't really got me in the trenches music-wise since Deja Vu :/ that was the last song that was an instant hit for me since the teaser dropped. Yep can't believe I'm saying this, bc as much as I like the lore and used to be sooooooo into it, it is kinda limiting at this point
GODDDD LOOK AT THIS MODEL https://twitter.com/ATEEZofficial/status/1661964508825518081?t=MXO020zlvR_OTmI30opndQ&s=19 he's literally wearing YSL sandals (Ten wore the same ones...) so what's stopping them from inviting him to their events I'M SO SICK AND TIRED 💀💀💀💀 and the glasses too?! https://twitter.com/8teez_world/status/1662472208978006018?t=NB54XML0PEs9oD2mTR6c1A&s=19 I don't even like YSL much, cause they've been designing the same shit for years, but I'll get him that sponsorship!!!
Donatella followed SKZ, oh Hyunjin is definitely getting that Versace bag!!! Put him on the runaway too 👀 I just need to free Felix from LV and get him a more interesting deal
Yes I am taller than Ten, he wore heels but so did I, so nice try boy. Unfortunately did not manhandle him, BUT I did shoot my shot and said hi also told him he looked great and he responded, so we're best friends now <3 so Black Opium is quite strong, I like strong perfume for fall and winter or evenings
Uhhhhm Krystal at Cannes, meanwhile https://www.koreaboo.com/news/former-girls-generation-member-jessica-jung-blanc-eclare-evicted-not-paying-rent/ I heard she's doing well in China though, she's on the 2nd season of Great Dance Crew too, but everything about her business endeavours has been questionable
I'M SEEING TAEYONG FINALLY. God I really thought I'd have to sit through an NCT 127 gig just to see him, so bless his upcoming album!
Lmao the Bangpink wattpad writers from 2017 are living right now, Taennie, Taelisa content 👀👀👀👀 this is all very amusing to me, especially Army x Blink meltdowns
WHAT'S UP WITH WAYV LATELY I LOVE THE ENERGY https://twitter.com/smoldejuns/status/1662701927975784448?t=4foUSfDlZxI73Nu_F0nB0Q&s=19 between this and Yuta saying being in NCT is difficult jshshajsgwhwhhw 😭😭😭😭 these men are so done. Sungtaro in a new group that isn't NCT??? Who thought of this...
London is what? Idk I can't see bestie, London who??? 🙈🙉🙊
Omg I hope the weather gets mor stable for you! The weather in SK is kinda crazy as well and I already miss Thai weather, even though the climate can be difficult
What...https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1662466812703809537?t=wYQ_CoJ7_BTupZSKPusBzg&s=19 he's gonna crash after 3 minutes, but ok
We ghostwrote this https://twitter.com/Kpopmap/status/1662352938721787906?t=yp2SDRk8Vek5Fqzzubdh0A&s=19
Fifty Fifty in Barbie? https://twitter.com/kchartsmaster/status/1661720962511822851?t=xIx3N6RGa8GQLRouGhTorw&s=19 didn't expect that - DV 💖
hello!!!
I hope we get some updates from Kai soon, I heard SM requested not to send him letters? And I hope he will be able to rest and regenerate, but social work is so weird, because he's literally home and kinda free, but can't participate in the cb... such a strange arrangement. At least when you're actually in the military you're away. Armchairs saying shit like "oh, he thought the BTS law applies to him?" stfu, cunts for real. But thank you Kim Kai for serving so hard with Rover, the world will remember!
i hope so too!!! got some new ysl beauty commercials form him in his blond era 😭😭 cried a little ngl,,, and it’s only been a few days….we gotta wait till 2025 oh my god- i am PISSED ALL OVER AGAIN THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE YEAR OHHHHH LORD, nO LITERALLY LIKE HOW ARE THEY GONNA DO THEIR COMEBACK WITHOUT THE FACE OF THE GROUP??? he’s free at him bring him back to the studio 😭😭
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bts law this bts law that i AM TIRED, like doesn’t mx have the same one??? NO BC ROVER, IM ROVERING EVERY DAY HE SERVED SO HARD THAT THEY CALLED HIM IN THE BARRACKS TO RESERVE 😭😭😭😭
Nope I'm back in Seoul, I'm staying here then going to HK for a moment, idk when I will be back in London and tbh I'm not looking forward to it 😬 //// AHHHHHHH I SAW SHINEEEEEE TWICE AND ON DAY 2 MINKEY CAME TO MY SIDE AND THEY WERE LITERALLY NEXT TO ME, MINHO TOUCHED MY HAND! AND HE HUGGED SOMEONE TOO. They performed one of their new songs, summer bop me thinks! And DCM DANCE PRACTICE AFTER 1000 YEARS WOW
AAAHHHHH BACK IN SEOUL,, no bc imagine going back to london and seeing all the grey loomy depressive skies <//3 FHWMDHKWBDWKDWK U SAW SHINEE??? TWICEE???? SCREAMS SCREAMS!!!! HE TOUCHED UR HAND??? HOW WAS IT PDF ME EVERYTHING,, FUCK HOW DID THE SONG SOUND LIKE???? OH MY GOD U GOT TO HEAR IT??? TELL ME THE VIBES THE VOCALS PLS WHAT GENRE IS IT 😭😭😭😭
Omg I hate when the questionable webtoons get adaptations (yes, True Beauty I'm talking about you) idk why they're so popular... maybe a good cast can somehow save it
no literally i keep seeing more edits of try beauty and it rly, rly makes me question like how tf u gonna chose suho over seojun???? like what???? hopefully a good cast will bc that webtoon is hideous,,, a dupe of the better version,, but im vv excited for yoona & junho’s new show!! sounds like a business proposal type hehe
Can I be a hater again and say that Seonghwa in grills looks so silly, like I'm sorry but asjjsjshahshsdjsjsbs y'all stay safe screaming, shaking and throwing up, but I legit yelled JUMPSCARE when he appeared 😭 guess no matter how down bad for him I am, I still have my limits. He has a villainous face, but he's not a gangster YOU WON'T FOOL ME. Grills make sense on rappers, but otherwise I really dislike them... A biker jacket and grills, oh he really thinks he's a Neo 😬 face card didn't decline ofc he looked hot, just let's keep the mouth closed, amen 🙏🏻 Why can't they do more for the promo pics and why can't they post more photos....
LMFAOOOO NOT JUMPSCARE 😭😭😭 UR RIGHT HE HAS A VILLIAN FACE NOT A GANGSTER,, THAT OPEN MIGHT THING BRO IN HIS WANNABE GANGSTER ERA and if he throws up the gang signs iM SCREAMING RHWKDDKQL grills on mingi juseyo 🤲🏻🤲🏻 seonghwa in the new neo tokyo group fbkwdhkd he’s gonna resonate isn’t he 😭😭 LETS KEEP THAT MOUTH CLOSED LMFAOOOOOOO FJQJFHWKDHWK
I'd say so far the MG x HJ song sounds the most interesting, overall the songs don't necessarily stand out. And look I like noise and fun, ass shakers are okay, but I need more versatility y'know... They haven't really got me in the trenches music-wise since Deja Vu :/ that was the last song that was an instant hit for me since the teaser dropped. Yep can't believe I'm saying this, bc as much as I like the lore and used to be sooooooo into it, it is kinda limiting at this point
right!! their rap sounds pretty solid im vv excited and then it transitioned into vocals and 🫠🫠, no ur right ass shakers are good but let’s revamp a little <3 for funsies <3 pls <3 yeah! i also used to enjoy it so much but it’s like every little thing is a lore atp, i just want to scream to music idc who’s lost in a desert and who’s time travelling, NEED GOOD MUSIC!!! but the promo of it is so funny like wdym ur selling chillies 😭😭 the album looks pretty but def not gonna get it this time not very into it atm!!
GODDDD LOOK AT THIS MODEL https://twitter.com/ATEEZofficial/status/1661964508825518081?t=MXO020zlvR_OTmI30opndQ&s=19 he's literally wearing YSL sandals (Ten wore the same ones...) so what's stopping them from inviting him to their events I'M SO SICK AND TIRED 💀💀💀💀 and the glasses too?! https://twitter.com/8teez_world/status/1662472208978006018?t=NB54XML0PEs9oD2mTR6c1A&s=19 I don't even like YSL much, cause they've been designing the same shit for years, but I'll get him that sponsorship!!!
THE DOGS ARE OUT FOR FREE?????? HDKQDKWDHWK HE’S DOING EVERYTHING FOR THAT YSL AMBASSADORSHIP AND ITS TIME WE MAKE EDITS AND TREND HIM AND DM THEM!!! A LITTLE DELULU BUT WE’VE LEARNT THIS FROM ASKING FENTY TO DM KAI,, WE GOTTA ATP! ysl just be the colour black,,, one thing if he gets to be the ambassador he’s just gonna be wearing black and white for everything 😭😭 also YUNHO as a ralph lauren guy??? esp in this collection??? need him to sign up!!!!!
Donatella followed SKZ, oh Hyunjin is definitely getting that Versace bag!!! Put him on the runaway too 👀 I just need to free Felix from LV and get him a more interesting deal
NEED A ARCHIVAL VERSACE GIANNI VERSION ON HYUNJIN!!!!! put him on that runway he’d slay omg,,, felix to ysl??? he has that look ngl or like alexander mcqueen mhm
Yes I am taller than Ten, he wore heels but so did I, so nice try boy. Unfortunately did not manhandle him, BUT I did shoot my shot and said hi also told him he looked great and he responded, so we're best friends now <3 so Black Opium is quite strong, I like strong perfume for fall and winter or evenings
ur really said uni reverse on him, if tried to one up u ur already two steps ahead 🫡 AAAAAAAAAAAAAA TO SEE HIM SO UP CLOSE AND U DID GODS JOB AND TOLD HIM HE LOOKED GREAT YEAH! besties w ten what a flex 🔫 aHHH so like headache strong??
Uhhhhm Krystal at Cannes, meanwhile https://www.koreaboo.com/news/former-girls-generation-member-jessica-jung-blanc-eclare-evicted-not-paying-rent/ I heard she's doing well in China though, she's on the 2nd season of Great Dance Crew too, but everything about her business endeavours has been questionable
forget abt her sister, ever since she started dating tyler kwon it’s all going downhill for her 🤚🏻 BUT MISS KRYSTAL????? OLD HOLLYWOOD????? MISS MAAM
what a face card ngl i watched it live and my jaw dropped multiple times, forever the it girl
i am obsessed actually
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I'M SEEING TAEYONG FINALLY. God I really thought I'd have to sit through an NCT 127 gig just to see him, so bless his upcoming album! /// Lmao the Bangpink wattpad writers from 2017 are living right now, Taennie, Taelisa content 👀👀👀👀 this is all very amusing to me, especially Army x Blink meltdowns
DBWKDHWKDHWKDHAKDHAK SEEING HIM AND HIS COMEBACK??? IT SOUNDS LIKE A GHIBLI MUSIC IM SO EXCITED THE VIBES ARE SO GENTLE AND NOSTALGIC watch it he completely different tho,, his album design is also so so pretty omg,, NOOO FRRRR IM AFRAID TO CHECK WATTPAD BC IK THOSE 2016-2018 MAMA AWARDS TIME BANGPINK SHIPPERS ARE HAVING A FULL BREAKDOWN OR CELEBRATING,,, the cosplay thing really got me crying too 😭😭😭 all very good but imagine the ‘jokes’ that will happen when they break up and when jennie gets most of them bfwmbdwkdbsk
WHAT'S UP WITH WAYV LATELY I LOVE THE ENERGY https://twitter.com/smoldejuns/status/1662701927975784448?t=4foUSfDlZxI73Nu_F0nB0Q&s=19 between this and Yuta saying being in NCT is difficult jshshajsgwhwhhw 😭😭😭😭 these men are so done. Sungtaro in a new group that isn't NCT??? Who thought of this...
ITS CALLED BEING DOZEN FREE !!!!!! nct officially entering their idgaf era w sm is what we needed now we know we’ll get good tittle tracks,,, sungtaro….sungchan dIDNT drop his entire bussy in 90’s love rap to get ousted like this,,, fuck the new group bring them back 😭
London is what? Idk I can't see bestie, London who??? 🙈🙉🙊 //// Omg I hope the weather gets mor stable for you! The weather in SK is kinda crazy as well and I already miss Thai weather, even though the climate can be difficult
LONDON IS WHAT???
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how many times in a row??
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the weather is absolutely disgusting and im constantly reminded why winter never leaves canada <333 thai weather must’ve been crazy hot no? def better than sk, sk sometimes reminds me of london, somehow always raining or being humid
What...https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1662466812703809537?t=wYQ_CoJ7_BTupZSKPusBzg&s=19 he's gonna crash after 3 minutes, but ok /// We ghostwrote this https://twitter.com/Kpopmap/status/1662352938721787906?t=yp2SDRk8Vek5Fqzzubdh0A&s=19 //// Fifty Fifty in Barbie? https://twitter.com/kchartsmaster/status/1661720962511822851?t=xIx3N6RGa8GQLRouGhTorw&s=19 didn't expect that - DV 💖
…..seonghwa
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if he ever did f1 his career will go down the drain, takes a right and boom into the barriers “and there goes park seonghwa! flying into the barriers in sector one!”
wdym ghost wrote?? that was US,, remember? itch ur brain a little u will remember 😵‍💫 NO BC THATS SO EXCITING SEEINF THEM THERE THEY LEFT NUGUDOM!!!! ik everyone’s crazy about cupid but their song lovin me has me going everyday, the vocal blend they did is so stunning makes me tear up
anon. his clean girl look era <3 he’s so gorgeous oh my god
busi and alba leaving 💖🔫🔫🔫 and rumours of di maria @ barca….imagine a messi-dimaria-lewy ,,, o it’s over for rm fhwkdhwk
also.. LMFAOOOO WHYS HE EVADING THE FIRE 😭😭😭
they got more comebacks on twt than on the pitch
AND I FUCKING JUMPED ??????????!!? let my dreams come true pls
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cambridgefamily · 3 years
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Thurs 7 Jan ‘21
Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3!!! Firstly Zayn posted a teaser of a red curtain, labeled 'tomorrow', beginning to rise with a snippet of a song-- it's Vibez! Vibez is HERE! NEW ZAYN MUSIC! And hell yeah that's super exciting (and the curtain is reminiscent of the filming at the theater last month I'm hopeful we're about to get that video) but THAT'S not the half of it-- Z3 listings are UP! 'Nobody is Listening' (friend we are ABOUT TO BE and I CANNOT WAIT) is out Jan 15 and has 11 songs (titles unrevealed with the exception of Better, already released, and Vibez). The cover art is a painting of a bright colorful sea of staring faces; everybody looking, nobody listening? Spotify also has Vibez cover art- a cool blocky noir looking painting- and a new photo of Zayn smouldering in a tank top. Happy almost Zayn's birthday to US, and thank you very much!
Liam did a long live today with an also long BEARD (oh shush on his FACE you guys) to talk about Saturday's show, but then he ends up talking to Ben Winston for most of it which is, as you can imagine, a mixed blessing. I mean all that 1D reminiscing is great for dredging up unknown tidbits for us but otoh Ben: the part where Liam puts manager Steve on to say hi to Ben and it's just the two of them is the worst content I've seen in a minute and I mean... Holivia is current..? ANYWAY, before Ben, Liam has his cousin Ross on and tells us Ross will also have cousin Luke playing drums for him at the show Sat, and snippets of all the openers' music are played. They discuss accents, and Liam, as usual, says that he was just on the phone to Louis (relatable I too immediately think of Louis when discussing strong British accents). And then the Ben chat: they talk about the We Are 1D Family fan project at San Siro and how the band didn't know it was going to happen, Liam talks about not wanting to do the Leroy piece for the BSE video (“haha remember I had a meltdown but you made me do it!”:/), and they talk about the two Midnight Memories videos-- we learn that Ben didn't have anything to do with the scrapped first one so he can't release it sorry, and “you guys didn't like it so we had to make a new one in like a week”. Liam: “no I preferred the first one!”, lol. Ben talks shit about not liking You and I (no wonder he did her so dirty), Liam: “WHAT??” and “didn’t Zayn’s high note turn you on a little bit? It had to!” sksksjfa okay calm down there, and then he turns me into the 'had me in the first half' meme when he says his least favorite 1D song is I Would! CAN YOU BELIEVE. He quickly realizes though that no! He means I WANT! Yeah okay that makes more sense but jeez Liam, don't mess with me like that! He also says (not about I Would or I Want), “when I was younger I didn't really understand the songs as much as I understand them now, they mean so much more to me later on in life than they ever have done before, the feeling, the emotions that come through, the lyric as well for some of them.” Oh and Ben mentions the Grammy awards being pushed to March 14 which btw I forgot to say yesterday so there ya go. New date. And last but not least, new LP Act 4 merch! RAINBOW HOODIE! Omg it's so good! The rest is great too but that rainbow hoodie (uh 'hoody' that is hmm why) is soooo nice.
9 am PST came and went without a single Holivia pap pic, but don't worry (darlings) they were just a little late today, though you'll be excused if you didn't realize there were new ones, as they are simply more of the same batch as yesterday's- it was a very exciting parking lot after all, they needed a lot of documentation! Harry grabbing Olivia's arm SO AWKWARDLY is a gem though, I'm starting to have doubts that they're even really friends now that I'm seeing them interact so much tbh. I think the press time excitement was supposed to be the 'candid' pics of them drinking coffee together with Harry in the spa robe (taken... maybe you can guess... YES! it was over the weekend!) but aside from being memed they didn't seem to get much traction. Even so, the press is still all over Holivia ofc and if you only read one article about it PLEASE make it the Harper's Bazaar one that marveled at today's pics “Wilde happened to be wearing the same outfit from last weekend” oh SO CLOSE YOU GUYS, defensively states that Harry was wearing a mask (in response to the many articles out there about people being mad at him for not wearing a mask which yes are very much still up and not being suppressed by HSHQ, btw) but some enterprising layout person placed a picture of him without a mask right under that line, and tells us twice in a row that their relationship is 'very organic'-- definitely 100% truly oBvIOusLy ORGANIC, 'a source' says so. So you can see that clearly it's all very organic. In case you were wondering! STRONG honorable press mention for Vogue though, who declared that Holivia were “already 2021's most stylish pair” with a picture of Harry in his paint splattered merch hoodie and pushed up sweats; but then they also said the other day that larries were people “who ship Harry with Liam Payne”...hey Vogue I really recommend getting an intern if you're struggling, so helpful!
#liam payne#harry styles#zayn#most of my dash – ugh I have holivia blacklisted I do not see it anyway the chicken#me: ugh actual updates JUST LET ME MAKE FUN OF HOLIVIA PRESS ALL DAY#yeah I know not everyone is an I would stan but I' just prefer to believe everyone appreciates as much as me it's how it should be#I'm in the 'spoiled by Icarus Falls an actual epic work of genius' camp and I'm sad this one is comparatively short#but Z knows what he's doing I'm gonna bet it's perfect as is and I can't wait to hear it#I already love Vibez it's so pretty and soft#Liam to Ross- haha this is first time I've been on the phone to you in a few weeks when I'm not drunk. :/#he also talks about watching the San Siro gig drunk the other day#he does not however say he doesn't have access to any of his accounts he says he DOESN'T KNOW HIS PASSWORDS offhand#that he's just logged in on his phone but can't just tweet from another phone real quick while he's on live#I would say the exact same in that situation and despite tumblr oppressing me rn for the most part no one is controlling my accounts yall#it's NOT THE SAME THING he clearly states that he access to ALL HIS ACCOUNTS on HIS PHONE#Harry Lambert made a flagging joke not relevant to much just a reminder that yeah it's a real thing#and gay people def know about and about the significance of wearing bandanas#I mean the connection of the blue bandana to Louis is a whole other thing ofc but if Harry does mean that by that#he knows very well it isn't the only thing he's putting out there#probably why he steers real wide of ever putting in his pocket lol he truly said fuck your top bottom discourse#7 jan 21
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wonderwomanfantasy · 3 years
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Love brewed
so tumblr had a meltdown and deleted this after I had already queued it so I’m sorry the ask got lost but this is a cute sero confession!
warnings: swearing
word count: 1,300 (bout)
summary:
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Sero had fallen in love with you the first time he saw you. He had just moved out of the UA dorms and to his own apartment. He was excited to be out on his own finally and to be a pro making the world a better place. According to Google, there was a coffee shop just a few blocks away and he definitely deserved a nice cup of coffee after unpacking all morning. There was a light drizzle but it wasn’t anything too bad so he pulled his hood up and headed off to Love Brewed Cafe. 
It seemed like he wasn’t the only one who wanted something to drink, the little hole in the wall shop was practically full when he walked in. Sero was just pulling down his hood when you turned to look at him a big welcoming smile on your face. And his heart stopped dead in his chest.
“Welcome! Order whenever you’re ready!” you chirped from behind the counter, leaving him stunned. You were easily the most beautiful person he’d ever seen and he could feel the heat rush to his face. He nodded, not sure he could trust his mouth to do the talking. 
Sero realized he was staring and quickly diverted his eyes up to the menu. He calmed down and instantly he felt stupid for getting so worked up over just some barista, He walked to the counter and he looked back at you. Fuck. 
“Uhm just a large black coffee please,” he stammered. 
“Sure no problem! Can I get a name for that?”
“Sero,”
“Perfect, I’ll call for you when it’s ready go ahead and take a seat, er if you can find one that is,” you laughed. Sero just nodded again, hoping his red blush wasn’t too obvious. 
The cafe was crowded but he managed to find an open table near the window and he immediately pulled out his phone to text Kaminari.
Sero: cute barista a block away from my new place, I’m already planning our future children’s names and I’ve only talked to them once. 
Kaminari: Damn do they have a nice ass?
Sero: they’re behind a counter I can’t tell
Kaminari: damn :/ ask if they’re single and or if they have a cute friend
Sero: I m not going to harass them at work
Kaminari: pussy
“Black coffee for Sero!” you called making him jump, he quickly ran up and got his drink before going back to the small table he staked out. 
He looked down at the cup, at his name written in your cute handwriting, and remembered he didn’t even like black coffee. 
Sero went to Love Brewed every day, it just became part of his routine, He didn’t always see you, but he made the most out of it when he did. It was a lot easier to talk to you after the first day and as it turned out the two of you had a lot in common. 
You were a college student about his age and worked part-time here to help pay for classes. You told him about your quirk about your family about the school, everything, and Sero loved to listen. 
If it wasn’t  busy and you didn’t have anything else to do you would come to sit with him while he drank his coffee, otherwise Sero just leaned against the counter while you talked. 
Every time he got the chance to talk to you Kaminari was the first to know about it, Sero was sure that he was getting sick of hearing about you, and Sero’s refusal to ask you out but Hanta really didn’t mind playing the waiting game. 
“Wait so you’re really a hero? That’s so cool! Why did you never tell me, we have a Hero discount you know?” you asked amazed. Sero Shyly rubbed the back of his neck. 
“It never came up, besides I don’t mind paying full price,” he said with a shrug. You pushed him playfully making him laugh
“I can not believe you let me rant about my dumb professors when you probably have all sort of crazy hero stories!” you shouted. Sero could practically hear Kaminari screaming in his ear to brag, brag like his life depended on it. So he did, He liked watching your eyes go wide as he talked about some of his more dangerous fights. 
“Wow that’s incredible,” you said breathily, 
“Well, if you ever need a hero to do some saving I guess you know who to call,” he teased 
“How am I supposed to do that when I don’t have your number,” you said and again he could hear the Kaminari in his head screaming. 
“We can change that,” he said. You shoved your phone in his face almost before he had a chance to finish. 
“Is it alright if I text you for nonemergencies?” you asked
“Of course,” Sero said a little too quickly. 
“Then I will,” you promised. And you did, later that night he got a text from an unknown number with an image attached. 
Unknown: staying safe hero boy? Also here’s a picture for my profile. 
Then you sent a cute selfie of you sitting on your couch in a big sweater. 
Sero: cute
(y/n): thank you thank you I try
(y/n):  do I not get a selfie back?
Sero: give me a minute it just got out of the shower
(y/n): 👀👀👀
Sero paused for a moment, He could send you a shirtless picture, that’s what Kaminari would do, but that might be too forward, wouldn’t it? There would be no denying it was flirting, it might ruin your friendship.  But that’s what he was doing right? Flirting. Every time he complimented your work uniform or made you laugh it was because he liked you right? Sero went the coward’s way.  
Sero: perv. 
He threw on a shirt and snapped a pic to send back. He still looked good, his hair was wet and hanging in kind of a sexy way and his skin was flushed was kind of hot, so he sent it. 
Sero: for you
(y/n): cute
Sero ended up texting you a lot more than he thought he would, every morning the first thing he did was check his phone to see if you had texted him in the night and if he had a spare moment during patrol he’d send you a picture of him hanging upsidedown from a lamp post and you texted him when you were bored in class. It made his heart pound every time. 
“Just ask her out already,” Kaminari groaned leaning over Sero’s shoulder reading the texts. 
“Fuck off, I’m working on it,” Sero grumbled. 
“What’s holding you back? They’re single, right? Just do it!” Kaminari barked. Before Sero could snap back an alarm went off and both of them were too busy to think much about Sero’s love life. 
What was holding him back anyway? He liked you. A lot. So much in fact that he hadn’t even thought about someone else romantically since the two of you met, and it seemed like you liked him too. At least you were always up to message him and unless he was reading too much into things it seemed that your smile was just a little brighter for him than anyone else. 
Of course, he knew the answer. He was scared. Sero had never been anyone’s first pick why would he be yours? He was used to rejection at this point but that didn’t make it sting any less. He didn’t want to ask you out only to see a sour expression cross your face when he told you that he loved you. But he should still tell you. 
Sero argued back and forth with himself until he decided. He was going to tell you the next time he saw you, no backing out. 
“Hey Hanta!” you greeted cheerfully when you saw him come through the door. You already had his regular ready for him. He smiled and greeted you at the counter paying for his drink and taking the cup. 
“Your shift ends at three today right?” he asked
“Yeah, why?”
“If you’re not doing anything I thought we could go out together and do something fun,” He said trying to sound casual even though his heart was beating out of his chest. 
“I’d love that Hanta,”
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destinyc1020 · 3 years
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Is it just me or has the hate for Zendaya by Tom’s fans been turned up lately? Is it because they are confirmed now? It feels racially motivated and it’s extremely disturbing. Tom’s fans need to get a grip and face reality.
No it has lol.....
Some of the antis, trolls and just a small segment of the fandom have been having meltdowns since July 2nd lol 😆
Remember, these are the same ppl who were ready for me to hang up my Tomdaya coat on July 1st 🤣 So they were really READY for that, and were waiting with bated breath to see Tom spotted with some blonde in London rofl.
Tom flying to LA and being spotted with Noon and visiting Z on the set of Euphoria was already hard enough for them..... But then when you add ON TOP of that Tomdaya 1.0 AND 2.0 being confirmed with those pap kisses, AND footage of them on dates together WITHOUT Darnell, AND Z looking like a snack at the BET Awards 😏, AND Tom being stopped in Northridge getting ice cream, AND pics of Tom and Z going on a romantic vacation together ALONE together at a secluded resort.....(I'm not even sure Jacdaya did that tbh lol 😆) I just don't think the trolls and antis can handle all of that, so they've really become unhinged lately... even more so than they already were rofl 🤣
And of course there's a racial element to it.
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There's some of that going on for sure.... and always has been. Not all feel that way of course, but the ones that do make it pretty obvious. 😒
Anyway, we knew that this was to be expected... so this shouldn't be any surprise really. 🤷🏾‍♀️
Silly me, I thought they would move on and accept reality after photo evidence came out, but I should have known!!! 🤣 These ppl have made it their life to discredit Tomdaya, so why would they stop now? It's like their brains can't compute lol.
Anyway, the MAJORITY of the fandom and the gp LOVE Tom and Z together, and are just happy that they FINALLY are confirmed on the public eye.😁🥰 So, needless to say, you don't need to worry about what a minority of some ppl in the fandom who can't snap into reality are thinking or feeling.
I keep saying they're gonna continue to get their feelings hurt if they don't just accept reality NOW, and let the anti-ism go.
It's their choice!
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stinkroll · 3 years
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Heyy!! I’ve been meaning to pin my testimony, so here it is :)
So, my life wasn’t really the greatest growing up. I mention C-PTSD in my bio, and that’s what I’ll get into a bit. I’ll try not to be too graphic, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be totally safe.
There were some questionable things in my toddler years, a neglectful daycare center for 3 months, my dad being in and out of my life due to fear of getting attached at first, him flying off the handle once with me (my mom got on him for it, so it never happened again) but I think the trauma started with my cousins leaving me stuck out in a baby swing twice, a near death experience with a dog bite, and a homicidal attempt on me and my mom by my sister, who was 16 at the time (I’m 5 years old). 
There was also the dog cage incident I believe at…6 years old? Me and my brother were playing and he forgot me on accident. I pretty much accepted at this point that life was gonna chain me up and try to kill me lol, but it let up for a good while, and I had a pretty decent childhood. At 9 years old, there was the torturously loud school program in the gym I had to sit through for 2 hours, I think. 
It was at 10 when things became chronically ongoing. Domestic violence at home from my sister (physical, emotional abuse on me and my family), more physical and emotional abuse at school from my assistant teacher because I was on an IEP for my autism. At 11, I was sexually abused by my female friend who was 12, and her female cousin, who was 13. I was abandoned by my cousins and aunt, and I was being placed in a seclusion room at school during standardized tests (which was sensory deprived solitary confinement) even after I was finished for the day. At 12 years old, I started being emotionally neglected by my mother.
I mean, I was so angry and depressed and secretly suicidal at 10, but by 12 I was severely dissociating (I had been dissociating during trauma at various times prior). I had so much fear and anxiety that by the time I was 13 I’d be feeling like passing out 24/7, so I got on meds, which only helped the more severe physical symptoms, I guess. 
At 13, I started being groomed by this high school girl that liked me. She was a Sophomore, and I was in 7th grade. She noticed the neglect and told me she knew me better. She would give me gifts, teach me to ship gay pairings, gave me a gay pedophilic manga. Shamelessly told me she had sexual relations with her male cousin and his friends who were around my age. I blocked it out. 
I also had a very abusive friendship with a girl online who had BPD. My assistant teacher, who came with me to middle school, restrained and tortured me with the marching band’s loud music in the hallway, which only intensified my dissociative symptoms (I was actually switching alters at this point regularly and having no idea).
I remember at 13 being confused about my gender and sexuality. My mom was no help and just wanted me to hide it from my family and everyone else, for reputation purposes and she didn’t want me bullied. That was actually how I decided to get in contact with my grooming abuser, which I wonder at this point whether that was my fault. I didn’t expect her to really take over like she did, but I was essentially brainwashed into accepting whatever I was feeling for her benefit. I just wanted advice and a friend. 
I was so lonely, I had been desperate for friends for years, and I was desperate for someone to love me in any way, honestly. I was overeating. I’d spend hours daydreaming, in video games or entertainment to escape from school and everything else. During meltdowns, I’d be doing self injurious behaviors. 
So by 14, I come out as a lesbian. Had a couple relationships with girls who just saw me as a sexual object (I remember saying yes to sexual things even though I didn’t want to, just so that they wouldn’t abandon me. Dissociating off and finding it disgusting), would cheat on me with multiple people, ignore me for new friends, etc. 
The BPD friend I dated, when I broke up with her, immediately attempted suicide so that scarred me more into our trauma bond. She’d show me self harm pics she took from time to time. It scared me into making sure I didn’t trigger her again, but u know I never knew what triggered her in the first place, so, like with everything else, I had no strategy to life. It was either fight, run, dissociate or nod yes to everything. She took up the latter lol. 
I came out as trans my Freshman year, and stayed that way into my Sophomore year. I was bitter about dating because of the whole sexual object thing, and full of shame at the same time, thinking no one would want me. I thought I was asexual. I tried out a career high school honestly just to get away from the memories of my old school. 
Some feelings about being trans started to fade, but not entirely, so I went by genderfluid/genderqueer from 17-19. I was excited to make new friends at my new school, but my anxiety kept me from it. I opened up very awkwardly about my dating history to one girl (which tbh I shouldn’t have, but I had been brainwashed so lol) and she told all the girls in my lab, and I was excluded and bullied (and cyberbullied) from thereon. 
I didn’t know it at first, it was so subtle. But once I knew, I tried standing up for myself and told the principal, which made them leave me alone for the most part. They’d glare at me, use me at graduation, cyberbully me one last time 8 months after graduation, and that was it. I still had to deal with domestic violence until I was 22, but once I graduated everything pretty much hit me.
I knew I’d be too stressed out to go to college or work. School indoctrination tried to teach me to be neurotypical and expect this, but it wasn’t happening. I was too afraid to leave my house for a year, and too afraid to be honest online for fear of being watched and bullied, or stalked. I was seriously considering suicide down the line. I thought I had nothing left to live for. I was useless. Nobody cared. Friends moved on to their new lives and I was dying. 
That’s when Jesus stepped in.
I guess I started being curious about God again for the first time since I was 12. I always believed in God, was grateful to Him for being there for me during the domestic violence and never blamed Him for it. I found out about worship music and was thrilled, and a question came up. Was being gay a sin? My grooming abuser taught me that God made me gay, so it was alright. But I wanted to know for sure this time from the Word. 
To my surprise, she was wrong. The Bible said it was indeed, a sin (the practice, not so much the identity aspect). I couldn’t piece together why, so I struggled with it for months. On my 20th birthday however, when I got done creating fanart of a gay pairing, I felt strongly convicted by the Holy Spirit that it was wrong. So I went to God.
I said, “If it is wrong, please change me so I can make You happy, because I love You. In the meantime, I won’t do anything in support of it for a while. If it’s not wrong, don’t change me, and I’ll know which way is right because I trust You.” When I look back on it, it was a pretty crazy prayer. Lots of people have said they couldn’t “pray the gay away”, and I do wonder what the difference was with me.
After 3 months, I stopped to check if I still felt anything, and the feelings were gone. My gender dysphoria was gone, too. I was way too afraid to tell anybody yet, but I remember when I did, one of the first people I told was my grooming abuser. 
She was livid, tried one last time to intimidate me. Another time we crossed paths (she came out of nowhere saying hi, said she worked at that market, complimented me and walked away smiling) and I was triggered, I messaged her and told her how she hurt me and I couldn’t bear to be around her anymore, but I hoped she’d have a good life. She didn’t respond online, but she complained to my sister that I thought she was a predator, and by the end of the conversation tries to get her to tell me she said hi. When she had kids, she was planning on raising them to be nonbinary. Her husband was abusive to them, so she ended up losing them. She never bugged me again. 
I was blown away by how God had changed me. How He opened my eyes to the truth. I prayed for Him to open my eyes to whatever else I had been blind to, and He slowly began lifting off the amnesia surrounding all my traumas, urging me towards recovery with Him. I realized I might have OSDD-1b recently as well, which is strange that I could have possibly had DID prior to losing my amnesia? 
I have been on this journey ever since, journaling, blogging, researching, and finally in a wonderful therapy called EMDR where I truly release the traumas from my body, hear God’s new positive beliefs to replace old negative ones from my childhood, and experience loving extraordinary visions while processing that teach me to focus on Jesus, trust Him more, love and pray for my enemies, and have a real satisfying relationship with Him that’s unattainable with anyone on Earth, along with daily Bible study. 
The picture on the left was me at 16 in my old life, the one on the right is me in my new creation :) God bless all of you, thank you for reading this far 💕💖
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unmaskedagain · 5 years
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Worse than the Devil
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Hey Everyone, I got really inspired by the amazing response to my first fic Queen Of Mean. I decided to write a follow up. Its to Selena Gomez’s version of Cruella De Vil. I loved it when it first came out and it sent shivers when I realized it was perfect for my follow up.
Looking back the missing pigtails in the bluenette’s hair when she walked into class Monday morning, dressed like she just got off the runaway, flanked by Chloe at her side, should’ve been the first warning sign.
But in the class’s defense, it had been a crazy weekend. The fireworks that came with Ladybug’s video, Alya’s meltdown, and Lila being outted as a liar didn’t die down after class ended that day.  No. The weekend had been filled out a never-ending stream of group texts, complaining of hurt feelings, nasty little liars, and why, or why wasn’t Marinette replying to their texts? Answering her phone? Didn’t she know they were sorry? Didn’t she know they needed their everyday Ladybug now more than ever? Alya in particular.
Alya, who had spent the entire weekend, nearly 24/7, trying to save her blog; defend her life’s work against the avalanche of criticism that had come it’s way; even the most loyal fans screamed of betrayal. She had released a dozen video explaining what happened and begging her viewers to understand that people make mistakes. Calling Marinette with no answer, texting her best friend for help only to get no reply. Texting Marinette that Lila was a dirty, rotten, liar in over a hundred different way, in over a hundred different texts; only to never get a reply; which Alya never understood. Marinette was right. Lila was a liar. Alya and Marinette should be teaming up to bring her down like their brought down Chloe; stand together like best friends do.
As Alya sat patiently at her desk, with Nino holding her hand in support, waiting for Marinette to arrive so she could find comfort in her bestie, never once did an apology cross her mind. Alya was too indignant, too self-righteous, convinced the Ladybug was victim-blaming. It wasn’t Alya’s fault. Her boyfriend agreed. Her entire class agreed. She just knew, soon, all of Paris would agree.
           When Marinette casually strolled in, talking animatedly with Chloe about their week, she left the other students stunned. Gone was the pintails. Gone was the easy-going, simple, practically trademarked pink pants and grey flower decorated shirt. Gone was the happy smile that the students had always remembered was there to greet them and bring them cheer on a sour Monday, like the day was.
           Instead, Marinette’s hair was down and flowing down her shoulders, longer than they could ever remember it being (though granted they hadn’t paid much attention to their once friend in last few months, except for giving her a few quick glares and sneers) and was perfectly coiffed with strands pullback in braids that would’ve made Daenerys Targaryen take notes. She was dressed in all black; a cropped leather jacket, a sparkly black halter top that tied around her neck in a pretty bow, her jeans black and skin tight, and killer high heels that would make most girls envious. The only color Marinette wore was the sliver bracelets adorning her arms and the classic movie star red lips she sported. Marinette looked a supermodel.
           And if Marinette’s new look didn’t stunned them. Then the look on her face when she glanced at them sure did. Move over Hawkmoth, because if Marinette didn’t scare you, no evil thing could.
It was like the entire classroom went colder. Maybe it was because of the ice in Marinette’s stare, her curved red-stained smirk that screamed: beware. The way everything about her just screamed predator, alpha, top of the food chain. Queen.
           Alya blinked hard. Nino blinked hard. Adrien blinked hard. Too stunned at the sight to even remember to badger the bluenette.  She and Chloe, also dressed like a runaway model, flounced to the back of the class without a hello, a smile, a wave; anything friendly. It was like they were too insignificant for the girls to notice. If they had an ounce of luck still in their lives, that would’ve been so.
           Unfortunately for them that wasn’t the case.
           The girls were painfully aware of their existence; of every move they made over the week, every stupid text they sent, every false apology uttered. Because the downfall of the Ladyblog was just a taste of what was to come. At this point, Marinette and Chloe was just Spiders waiting for the kill.
“Girl, you don’t have to sit with Chloe,” Alya exclaimed.  “We’ll make room, right?” Nino nodded quickly, eager to give his childhood friend an olive branch.
“Why wouldn’t I want to sit with Chloe?” Marinette asked nonchalantly. “She’s my best friend.”
           What happened next was similar to what, Marinette, thought happened in movie; where the main character says something shocking at a dance, there’s a sound of a record scratch, and silence as all eyes turn to the speaker.
           The smirk the spread over Chloe’s face, the glow that filled her, the thought of the havoc she was about to help commence practically made her purr.
“Best friend?” Alix asked, her pink hair pulled back and her face skeptical. “Last I checked, you were mortal enemies.”
“Last time you check was not long after Lie-La came to class,” Marinette retorted.
“Which is the last time you’re opinion matter to us,” Chloe added. “Or well to Mari here. I never paid you peasant any mind.”
“You can’t be best friends,” Alya jumped up. “You shouldn’t even be friends. I can’t believe it? After what she did to you?”
           The other students nodded.
“She stole your design.” Rose put in.
“Bullied you for years,” Max said.
“Ruined your present for teach!” Kim added.
           Alya nodded smugly at the class backing her up, and gave Marinette a bright smile and an expectant look that always used to work on cowing the other girl.
“Bygones,” Marinette sighed. “I forgave her. And we bonded over how stupid you were at believing Lie-La.” Marinette leaned back in her seat. “Besides it’s not like she ever called me a jealous bitch? Told me to check my sources? Ditched me a million times. Whispered mean words about me right in front of me. And even crueler words behind my back. Chloe would never do that.”
“You know who would?” Chloe grinned. ‘You.” She pointed at Alya. “And you.” She pointed at Alix. “And you!” At Nino “And you, you, you, you. And well everyone here really.”
“Chloe maybe be mean; in fact the greatest mean girl Sharpay,” Marinette smiled lovingly at the blond who preened at the praise.
“But at least I’m not a bad friend,” Chloe snipped viciously.
“Now Chloe that would imply I’m still friends with them at all.”
           At the statement, students wilted into themselves. Their misdeeds weighed heavily on them. They had been so upset at Lila for lying to them, at themselves for believing her, kicking themselves for not listening to Marinette, they never once considered how Marinette felt about the whole mess. But now they knew, she wasn’t happy.
           Little did they know just how furious the once sweet girl was.
           The two girls turned their attention to each other.
“Wasn’t this week just amaz!” Chloe said easily. “Fashion shows are always just so spectacular.”
“Your mom is, like, the best,” Marinette nodded eagerly. “I still can’t believe we got to model.”
           Chloe side-eyed the students, pretending they weren’t listening. “And why not? They were short. And just look at us. We’re beautiful. We deserved to be on that runway.”
“Runaway?” Mylène asked, awed. “You were in a fashion show.”
           Marinette nodded, kindly, though inwardly smirking. “There are pictures from the show online. They’re trending.” So was Marinette’s social media accounts. “We got to model with Kate Upton and Bella and Gigi Hadid.”
“We’re all the rage!” Chloe stated. “Mommy’s thinking of making us the faces of her new line. We’ll be in next week’s issue of Teen Vogue.”
“I posted a few photos on my Insta,” Marinette shrugged. “You can look if you want, I guess.” It was said with a faux unsure, insecure, unassuming voice; a voice that even the most terrifying vampire bat could have even the smartest of victims dancing to it.
           With that the girls went back to their conversation. Pretending they didn’t notice their classmates whipping out their phones to verify.
“WOW,” Rose beamed. “They do have pics with the Hadid sisters. Oh you look so pretty Marinette.”
“Dude is that Kendall Jenner?” Kim asked.
“Beyoncé!” Alya yelled. “Beyoncé was there. You met Beyoncé.”
“Chill,” Chloe snapped. “We didn’t meet her. We just waved. Jay-Z was there too btw.”
“Jay-Z,” Nino whispered in awe.
Before befriending Marinette, Chloe was have gladly lied and said they met the goddess, that was Queen Beyoncé. But Marinette wouldn't suffer liars. And hated anyone who lied about her. Chloe was smart enough to know losing Marinette as a friend would be costly to her; both personally and professionally.
           The blond refused to toss away the blessing that was Marinette’s friendship. Not the like fools before her. They didn’t know what they lost. But Chloe would make sure they did.
           It had taken weeks of slowly inching her way to being Marinette’s friend. The girl had been untrusting the blonde’s actions at first. But eventually, Chloe won her over, proved she could be a good friend, if not the best friend Marinette ever had.
           And the best part? Chloe didn’t have to change. Granted she had to dull unsavory traits like lying and stealing but it was worth it.
“Tony. Stark.” Max gulped like he was just told Santa was in fact real. “You are in a picture with Tony Stark; Iron Man.”
“Pepper Potts wanted a vacation,” Marinette said. “Peter, their son, is a friend of mine. We met last summer when he was visiting England with his class. I was there with my grandma. We hit it off. He knew I was nervous about going on stage so he got his mom to come here so he could support me. It was just supposed to be the two of them. Until Mr. Tony realized and followed along. Swore up and down they were trying to ditch him,” Marinette laughed.
“Oh please,” Chloe huffed. “He was proud that his kid was hanging out with a gorgeous French model.”
“Two gorgeous French models,” Marinette corrected. “The three of us got ice cream afterwards, remember? I can’t wait for this summer. Peter said we can spend of three weeks at Stark Tower; interning. PR for you. You’ll be amazing at it. God knows I could do, though.” She said glumly. Though her internship was going to be assisting the Pepper Potts on her day to day life.
“Ridiculous!” Chloe snapped. “Utterly Ridiculous. You know you can’t wait to get your hands on Thor’s cape to find out what material Alien princes use. Not to mention the plans I saw for a potential Captain America supersuit.”
Marinette crossed her arms, and huffed. “Hey that man is walking around dressed like America’s drunk prom date. Someone has to step in.”
“It’s a classic look,” Nathanial told them.
“It’s a crime against fashion,” Marinette hissed.
           With that, the girls went back to talking about their weekend and bickering over summer plans. Or at least they tried to.
“You could’ve invited us,” Alya snapped. “Or at least told us.”
“Why?” Marinette asked. “We’re not friends. Why don’t you ask Lila how it was? I’m sure, she’ll happily spin you a yarn about how amazing everything was. And promise you’ll meet them next time.”
           It was like a slap to the face. The entire class quieted back down; wishing the bell would ring already. And wondering where Miss Bustier was.
           Unfortunately for the teacher, quite a few concerned parents and staff members had taken issue with how Bustier had been running her class. Bullying, students being constantly turned into Akumas, why Lila could miss so much school without it being a major issue.
“Don’t you think you’re being harsh?” Adrien asked. “They’re sorry.”
No, Marinette thought darkly. They weren’t. Not yet. But they would be soon.
“Okay,” Marinette shrugged, carelessly, inhumanly. “I don’t see why that matters. I accept their apology but it changes nothing. Sorry doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t magically make every alright again. It’s no Ladybug charm. Let it go.” She warned.
           While Marinette did have plans to bring down Adrien, they were for a later time. And when she did, it would be painful. And it would break him. Like he helped break her.
           For months Adrien had stood by, remained silent as Marinette was made into an outcast, bullied, lost all her friends… when he knew. Knew Lila was lying, knew Marinette was just trying to help. After he promised, vowed to have her back. Instead, Adrien let them deface her sketchbook after Lila accuse Marinette of yet another bullying incident; destroying all of Marinette’s hard work. Despite knowing Marinette couldn’t have possible done what Lila said she had. He just let it happen, too afraid to stand up and tell the truth.
           Adrien didn’t take the hint. Or didn’t recognize a warning when he heard it.
“Their hurting too!” The blond boy defended, outraged at how his everyday Ladybug
“How?” Marinette asked curiously, innocently reminiscent of the girl who had been their friend who had existed when the world was still a wholesome place. “You said it yourself it’s not like Lila was hurting anybody. At least that’s what you told me, remember? You knew Lila was lying since like forever and you’re just fine.”
           It went silent again. Adrien paled. Marinette could barely stop the smile from slipping onto her face. If she wasn’t careful, they might combined their collective ten brain cells and catch on. See that she was a monster that should’ve never been released.
“You knew?” Nino asked in horrified disbelief.
           Dozens of hurt filled eyes trained on Adrien. It was at that moment Ms. Mendeleiev walked into class. “Students, I’ll be filling in today and possibly for the rest of the week. Everyone in their seats. Class is about to begin.”
           It was the smoothest devastation Chloe had ever witnessed and grew up with her mother and Gabriel Agreste as role models.
           In few years, the blonde knew there would be few would who hesitate to call Marinette, or herself, the devil. Too stunned to realize just how much worse either girl was.
           Chloe glanced at the girl who had become her best friend, and fellow mean-girl-in-arms. Marinette had her bluebell eyes trained on the chaos she had just unleashed, once again, on her fellow classmates.
           A lessor man, woman would’ve shivered. Chloe had shivered and had nightmares the first time that gaze rested on her.
           However, when time wore off the shock; Chloe realize she’d only see those type of eyes watching from underneath a rock.
           If you weren’t scared of the New Marinette, then you hadn’t met her yet.
Look out world, Chloe thought. Long Live the Queen.
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vaderkat · 3 years
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Good Things in 2020
Aww so my buddy @theputterer​ tagged me for my year in review and I’m so bummed I forgot to do this last year but have been pretty good about doing this since I first started my Tumblr in 2017. 
We all know what a dumpster fire 2020 was and it sucked and was shitty and I wanted to cry everytime my kids had a meltdown when they had to turn on the computer for online school . . . but . . . I know it could have been worse. I’m thankful to still have a job. I’m thankful I can be at home and help my kids with school. I’m thankful that I’m healthy. I actually caught COVID back in August and it was a mild case but I was so lucky that my family didn’t catch it from me. 
So here’s how I kicked 2020’s ass:
Personal:
BIG accomplishment!! Finished all my classes for my doctorate - all that’s left is to finish up the last 2 chapters of my dissertation and hopefully my review for 2021 will start with Dr. Moni . . . .
AND YAY MY FAVORITE BASEBALL TEAM WON THE WORLD SERIES!! Thanks @theputterer​ and @fortysevenswrites​ for the fun times watching the playoffs and the World Series. See ya next year in October!!
Oh and yay - I got to see Diego Luna live at the Conan O’Brien show. Four years of checking Conan’s schedule every Friday morning finally paid off!! 
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I actually did take a few vacations - staying safe of course. We did our annual trip to Lake Tahoe and I did this amazing hike from the top of Kingsbury Grade on the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe and ended up at the bottom of the mountain on the California side. The views were amazing and I did the hike by myself but it was so therapeutic to just be outside and connect with nature and the forest. It was nice to just get away from everything. 
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Hubby and I also formed a little adventure group with our kids’ friends and their parents. My critters were having such a hard time not being able to hang out with their buddies and when we felt it was safe, we reached out and started organizing a few hiking trips and a trip to Yosemite. We were supposed to go to Zion but of course, yours truly caught COVID four days before departure so Zion was nixed. Yosemite was super fun but we went right when So Cal was plagued with fires in all corners of the state so air quality was awful (see pics below). 
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So staying at home has prompted me to up my cooking and baking skills! I’m a “I only bake at Christmastime” type of person but after a month of staying at home, decided to bust out the KitchenAid and baked and cooked and tried new recipes. I upped my chocolate chip cookie game, attempted to make a fantastic chocolate cake which came out more like a crownie (half cake, half brownie) but still very tasty. Also learned how to make paella, arroz con pollo, spaghetti bolognese, a salted caramel semi-freddo and my year end piece de resistance was a Chicago deep dish pizza pie and cinnamon sticky buns that were delicious - the best mix of flaky and buttery dough combined with a yummy cinnamon and brown sugar mix.  Those sticky buns were a three-day labor of love (definitely a once-a-year deal).
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Work:
Big promotion this year!! Big! Very excited but it’s a lot of pressure and I’m literally ON all the time but I have a great team and they make it very worth it. 
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Did another speaker presentation at a conference this year. The conference was literally a week before California started to shut down and it was in San Francisco which was a hot spot back in March and the presentation went so well but all I remember is just wanting to come home. I was traveling so much from January to March so I was aware of COVID but being in San Francisco and seeing how big hotels and venues were shutting down was so weird and scary. I remember the flight home, how the airport was empty and then going to the store when I got home and literally being in shock at how empty the shelves were. Who would’ve thought this would happen?
Movies/TV Shows
OMG I watched so many movies and TV shows this year. I don’t think I’ve ever watched this much TV. Here’s my list:
Movies:
The last movie I saw in the theater was Bad Boys III. Typical action adventure fun.
Other movies - whoa - there were a lot. Also when you’re quarantined in your bedroom for two weeks there’s not much to do except watch movies, read and sleep. 
Criminal - how could I not watch a movie with Diego Luna?
Elysium - again Diego Luna . . .
Contagion - not a good idea to watch a movie about the Coronavirus when you’re quarantining for testing positive for said Coronavirus . . .
All John Wick movies 
12 Strong - I went through a Chris Hemsworth phase
Logan Lucky - OMG - hilarious!!
10 Years - Oscar Isaac - hubba hubba
1917
Ford vs Ferrari 
Hamilton - LOVE
Fast and the Furious movies - Yes, I will admit, I watched ALL of them this year. This is what happens when you have to stay at home. 
WonderWoman 1984 
Pretty sure I rewatched all Marvel movies
Dark Phoenix - mneh
Wander Darkly - again, how can I not watch a Diego Luna flick but OMG highly recommend!!
Pacific Rim - inspired to watch after reading a RebelCaptain/Pacific Rim fusion fic
Mulan live action film
TV Shows
His Dark Materials - I was inspired to watch this after reading a RebelCaptain fic in the His Dark Materials verse - darkness, moonrise by Whalebone. Very cool fic and a very cool show.
Cobra Kai - yes, I am an 80s brat and this show is absolutely hilarious and ridiculous
Mandolorian - I mean how could I not watch this . . . 
Yellowstone
Veep - Hilarious political show, your ears will melt from all the cussing and makes you worry that this is how government is actually ran. 
Narcos Mexico Season 2 - again, Diego Luna. I’m sure you’re all sensing a theme here . . .
FIC
Ahhh . . . set aside my studies for a bit (what everyone calls procrastination) and wrote two RebelCaptain fics this year: Letting Go and a one-shot holiday fic, Coming Home. I had actually been working on Letting Go for over a year and finished it up this summer. It was very angsty and a little bit sad and bittersweet but of course with a happy ending. Coming Home has been in my google docs for a couple of years and with school course work being done, actually got to polish it up this year. 
Of course, it was RebelCaptain fic that helped me get me away from the stress of 2020, so thank you to all the wonderful authors that wrote for this fandom. I want to list you all but I don’t want to forget anyone so please know I appreciate everything that you’ve written for the fandom!!
Here’s hoping for a better and brighter year and lets GO DODGERS!!
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mama-ghostie-61542 · 3 years
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A Thousand Lifetimes
Rated M++ for language and themes
If you recognize it--IT AIN'T MINE
Sorry for the OOC-ness
Chapter 7
Kihyun
The next day, after two fittings with costumes, two phone interviews, a shoot for an ad, and a tv spot; I finally got back to the dorms, and back to that story.
Bryn PoV--
As if today wasn't bad enough, I walked into the house to find it completely empty. The kids wandered around and I tried to field a million questions about where they were gonna sleep and what we were gonna eat. That and the meltdowns every five minutes led me to try to call my little brother. I really just needed to talk to another grown-up. As soon as I had supper figured out, I called Joey.
"Hello," said a voice on the other end of the phone.
"Ummm. Hi?"
"Oh. Hello," The voice was familiar, but it wasn't Joey.
"Is Joey close?"
"Sorry. Who?"
"Sorry. Jooheon. Kids call him 'Uncle Joey'. Guess it stuck."
"Hmm. No. You just missed him."
"Dern. Can you pass on a message?"
"Sure."
"Can you tell him to call Bryn when he gets back?"
"Oh! I didn't recognize your voice, Bryn. How are you? It's Kihyun. Joey is in the shower. Can I help you with whatever you need," I asked, biting my lip and praying she would say yes. Just the sound of her voice was both soothing and somehow able to tie me up in knots.
"Actually, I was calling to vent. I've had a particularly terrible day today. Joey is my sobriety sponsor."
"He is? Wow," I said before Honey came charging at me, his hair still wet. "I would still LOVE to talk to YOU," I shouted.
"Gimmie my phone, Kihyun."
I handed him back the phone and heard him say
"What's up, Sis?"
Though I couldn't hear exactly what was said, I could tell by the look on his face, it wasn't good.
"Really?"
Then, Honey sighed. "Lemme see what I can do from here."
"Please, let me help."
If it were possible for him to get any more pissed off, he did. "HE WHAT," he yelled. Then, he pulled the phone from his ear and said, "I need a one way ticket to Peoria International!! I'm gonna kill him. I am gonna fuckin' kill him." Next, he put the phone back to his ear, "Lemme see what I can do here, Sis," he growled as he demanded numbers and wrote them down, and then hung up.
As he started digging on the internet to find the cheapest fare, HyunWoo said, "Hold it, Hot Shot. What happened?"
"That douchbag finally left. He took everything! Even the kids stuff. He left them with NOTHING! That is why Sis was calling. He cleaned out their account and took everything. Damn lucky he couldn't touch the shop accounts or he would have cleaned them out too. Literally everything. She needs a little cash to feed the kids til Friday."
"Thank God it is Wednesday," said CK. from the far side of the room. If anyone had bothered to look, the reflection on his glasses was an Amazon cart with 37 things in it. The only time ANYONE has that many things in an Amazon cart is when they are buying groceries. However, most of those were chips or snack cakes.
Honey, Min, and HyungWon all sat down to iron out how much and what they were gonna contribute.
Silently, I picked up my bank book and palmed the slip of paper with her info on it. Only HyunWoo saw me slip out the door. He stopped me as I waited for the elevator and handed me a few bills from his own wallet before turning back towards the room.
"What," was all I could get out before he interrupted, cutting me off mid-question.
"We look out for our own," He answered before he opened the door to the dorm.
After heading to the nearest Western Union, I called the number on the slip from Honey. When she picked up, I smiled.
"Hey, Bryn, it's Kihyun. I wired you some money. Should be about $100, if everything gets exchanged right."
"Kihyun, you guys didn't have to do that. My dad was already gonna feed the kids. I just needed to talk to someone. This has got me so shaken up, I want a drink really bad. Guess I wasn't too clear with Joey."
"Really? Then why was he," I stopped as a shadow fell over me. "Well, shit. Guess who is now standing right behind me."
"Tell him to calm down."
"Bryn says to calm down. She told me to sit on you if I have to."
"Kihyun! I did not."
"I paraphrased," I laughed. "Besides, Sweets, if looks could kill, I'd be dead right about now."
"Really," she chuckled.
"Oh yeah. He is probably gonna follow me all the way to the dorm. I guess I am not allowed out on my own," I laughed.
"Why," She asked.
"I tend to do dumb things, according to others. Though they may be a little impulsive, they always work out in the end. So don't look the horse in the mouth."
"I won't."
"Good girl," I laughed, "So why did you call him, anyway?"
"I needed someone I could yell at that would not take it personal."
"I am always here. Though, I may occasionally yell back."
She laughed. "Thank you."
"For?"
"Making me laugh. I needed that. "
"Damn. I was looking forward to the screaming match. C'mon, get it started, Angelface," I said as I stopped at the stoplight and waited for the crosswalk. "Do you want me to start," I asked, then pulled the phone away and yelled.
Bringing the phone back to my face, I asked as the crosswalk lit up and I crossed the street, "How was that," I grinned.
"A 10. A fuckin' 10. Have you thought of being a Rockstar," she laughed.
I could almost hear the smile on her face, which made me laugh. Even if my throat killed me in the morning it was worth it.
"Hey, hang on a second. I want to send you something," I said as I put my phone on speaker and started the camera.
"Oh dear God, what now," she asked.
I took a short video of me sending her a kiss and sent it off. "Nothing bad."
"Ok, if you say so. Just not cool with unsolicited dick pics from strange men."
"I would not send you unsolicited dick pics, nor am I a stranger. Now, if you asked for them...Like a good girl," I started and looked over at Honey, who was looking at me with the 'better never do that' face. "Uh-oh."
"What?"
"I'm getting side eye."
She laughed and said, "I know just the look. It screams, 'You'd better not be sending photos of ANY part of your anatomy to my sister'."
"Yes," I laughed. "So how are you feeling? Better?"
"Much. Thank you."
"No problem. I'm here all week. Try the veal," I laughed. "Still want a drink," I asked.
"No. The laughs did it for me. Thank you."
"You are very welcome, Darling. So did you get the video I sent?"
"I did. That was very sweet. Thanks."
"You are very welcome, Pretty Lady. Well, we are back at the dorms."
"I should probably go then," she sighed.
"Just remember I am also available for Mitzvahs," I chuckled, which made her laugh. "Seriously, Sweetie, anytime you need a sounding board or a laugh fest, a screaming match or some naughty-Ow, Mother fucker!-I got smacked on my arm for that last bit. I am always here,"
"Thanks again. Until next time."
I paused and came VERY close to telling her how I felt but said, instead, "Again, you are welcome."
"Bye, Kihyun."
"Bye, Bryn," I breathed, then hung up.
Honey looked at me as he crossed his arms over his chest, "It took everything you had to not tell her 'I love you' didn't it?"
All I could do was nod and hope that my dreams tonight would be better than they had been.
As we got into the elevator, He said, "It was good hearing that you made her laugh."
"I love the sound of her laughter. Once I got her started, I didn't want her to stop. I think that she is just as funny as she is sweet."
"You do know that she will do one of two things, right?"
"What two things?"
"Either immediately send the money right back, or hang on to it and physically give you back every bit. She hates asking for help...of any kind," he said as he opened the door to our dorm.
"Yeah? Wonder why."
He just laughed, "Her ex-fiancée, ex-husband, and her father."
"What happened," I asked as I made us a pot of coffee.
"They all held every penny over her head. Her dad decided he wanted her out the minute she turned 18 and to do it, he threw her out the boat, so to speak. Said if she floated, she never needed help anyway; and if she sank, well, it was her own fault."
"That's abuse. Financial abuse."
"Yep. He was the kind to tell her everything she had was his, that she owned nothing; not even the clothes on her back. He comes from the 'I Own You' school of parenting. Her ex-fiancée would demand she work, then make her late, so she would lose any job she got. Then, he'd take any money she got paid and use it for crap he wanted rather than the bills she had it ear-marked for."
"Oh, tell me he didn't."
"Oh he did. Spent it on girls at the local under 21."
"Shit. He screwed around on her, didn't he?"
"Yep. Which is why if you ever think about cheating, I will castrate you myself," he growled.
Somehow I knew he would do it, and I would let him. "Don't have to worry about that. Can you tell me about her ex-husband?"
"That asshole was a piece of work. Emotionally, Mentally, and Fiscally abusive. The entire time they were together, he would pinch a penny until it died if it was something she needed, but she was expected to turn over her things and cash to him. She worked second shift in a factory; out of the house from half 1 to almost 1 am. He was in semi driver school at the time, racked up a HUGE amount of debt; I'm talking almost 40K. Constantly accused her of cheating when he had a different lot lizard every night. It's a miracle he never gave her anything."
I was disgusted by this guys behavior. To have a woman like her waiting at home and trying his best to break her.
"And that isn't even the worst of his offenses. He screamed at her one night while he was over the road, on training. She was at work, and he called her on her lunch break. The entire time, he screamed at her for having a cold sore and yelled about her cheating loud enough for her co-workers to hear. Her boss to tell her to turn off her phone; that he was tired of hearing that jerk yell at her. The guy he was learning with, told him that 'If I were her, I would be calling the lawyer first thing in the morning, after that shit.' He 'apologized' pretty quickly after that."
"Icky. I hope she ended it there."
"No. That girl has a ton of stay and No show. He ended up deployed to Egypt and told his brother about the girls there. Never thought his brother would run and tell her. She still didn't leave. You left a blister on her cheek one night and he threw her out in the snow."
"Stay and no show? I'm not sure I understand."
"Horse terms," came a voice from the doorway. I had forgotten Hoseok was staying with us while his apartment was getting the pipes fixed. "When a filly is learning to ride, it's said she is full of Show and no Stay. Meaning she looks good, but is too skittish to stand still. Sis--Well Sis may not look like much, but she has tons of loyalty to those who show her the same. She has the patience to play a 30 year long game, and the courage to weather ANY storm. But she has a problem knowing when to leave, and so she gets hurt."
"Hold up! He threw her out in the snow?!"
As Hoseok filled his own mug, he answered, "Yeah, he threw her out of the apartment in the middle of a snowstorm. Lucky her parents were in town. So if you start this with her, and you ever want out; you are gonna have to straight up tell her to go. She won't understand otherwise. She doesn't play games and has a tough time with subtly. So always be direct and honest with her."
I nodded taking it in. There was something I thought I wanted, so I asked, "How is her aegyo"
"If you are looking for overt aegyo, don't. Hers is subtle but she has got it in spades, and she doesn't even know it. It's in the way she plays, either with her guy or her kids," he said as he leaned against the counter, "It's in the subtle blush when you say or do something for her without her asking. It's in a compliment and the smiling eyes that comes with it. She has never had some of the things other girls take for granted, like a stolen kiss or flowers on her birthday. Other things, like those romantic gestures, she has only had once or twice. If I remember right, the last guy to 'play' was an FWB years and years ago, and that guy only stole one kiss, once," Honey replied.
"Don't expect her to run with girls. Most girls find her too harsh, too rough. She doesn't appreciate girls and their whiney, gossipy ways. She never wears makeup, and I have never once seen her with her nails painted. She is a guys-girl, a tom-boy through and through; wasn't made delicate. She is stronger than most people will ever know. However, her heart is extremely delicate, it's been broken and bruised so bad, even I wonder how she is still alive. So, let me tell you, right now," Hoseok said as he sat down his mug and leaned over the counter in my direction, "She may not be blood, but she is my sister."
"Hmm," I nodded. "You really don't have to worry about that," I replied. "How are you related to her again," I asked.
"Distant cousin. Her auntie married my mothers little brother, for all of five minutes. I am only gonna tell you this once, if you hurt that filly in ANY way; you wont walk again."
"Got it," I replied, cringing.
"You know that she won't ask for what she wants or needs. You are gonna need to be damned good at reading between the lines, cause she is so afraid that if she tells you what she needs, what she wants, you will do the same thing every one else has done," Honey said after a minute.
"Run," I answered nodding.
"Yep. Most men can't handle her intensity so they either run or try to turn her down to levels that they can handle without realizing that her fire isn't meant to be dimmed, but fed. She is gonna need you to be just as emotional as her, to show her that it is ok to feel again. She is very touch oriented, very tactile. So a lot of her feelings are touch related."
"I understand, Joey."
"You had better. The only reason I didn't beat the shit out of the other assholes, is that I wasn't there. If I had been, I would have had no problems with a few months in the county lock-up. And if Clark had tried that shit while I was there..."
"Really?"
"Yeah. See, the shit of it is, she fades into the background. She doesn't want all those things that other girls want. She isn't the kind to run or chase. She doesn't play games. She is also emotional. Ease into it. Don't try to love bomb her, she went through that shit with Clark and won't put up with it from you," Hoseok said, then turned to Joey, "Speaking of, did you hear what Lone Elm called him?"
Joey shook his head.
Hoseok grinned. "Elm called him a fuckin fishstick."
Joey started laughing, "Elm called him 'Fishstick'."
I looked back and forth between the two men who were holding themselves up on the counter while they laughed. "I don't get it. What-What's a fishstick?"
A hand landed on my shoulder from behind. I turned to see Changkhyun standing there, an amused look on his face.
"Fishsticks are only available in the States. They are mashed-up fish paste, about an inch wide by around six inches long, which is then breaded. Then, they are to be baked in an oven. Either they turn out soggy or they are hard as a rock; inedible either way. Which is good, because they are fuckin' gross. Nasty little things."
"Are they like the fish at Mickey's?"
"No," CK stated. "The fish there is actually decent. Fishsticks are generally served in school hot lunches on Fridays due either to religious reasons, or because they are cheap and can be purchased by the gross. At any rate, they are still inedible."
"Icky. How in the hell can people do that to their kids?"
"Not a clue. That was why I always took my lunch on Friday. Every Friday, the hot lunch was always the same thing; rock hard fishsticks, soggy tater tots, dehydrated-rehydrated mixed vegetables, and golden glow salad with mayonnaise on the top. It was the grossest meal I have ever seen in my entire life."
I shuddered to think of those poor kids. Forced to eat that nasty stuff.
After reading that, I was glad her kids never had to eat that. She fixed boxes for them. School lunches in the States sounded gross.
'Some things were ok.'
'I thought you took your lunch, Mami?'
'I did. My dad said cold lunch was cheaper. But, there was one day, once or twice a month, that I would get school lunch. They called it pork pattie day, but it was a breaded pork tenderloin on a bun. It was pretty decent. It was pretty gross the rest of the time, but that day wasn't too bad.'
'Have I watched you fix those before?'
'Not sure.'
'Are those the sandwiches where you beat the pork chops to nothing and then bread and fry them?'
'Yes.'
'Those do look pretty tasty,' I said as I dug around for what to fix the next day, so I could write it on the board. 'Hmm. Help, please. Can't figure out supper.'
'Whatcha got?'
'Hmmm. Some sausages, some tiny shrimp, and a package of chicken,' I said as I dug around in the freezer.
"You can use the shrimp and chicken in Gumbo.'
'It has been quite a while since I've had Gumbo. I've never made it before though.'
'Look it up. There are a million Gumbo recipes out there.'
'I think I will do that. Thanks, Baby. Have I told you, today, how awesome you are??'
'Yes, but I can always stand to hear it again,' she laughed.
A/N)--The above abuses......actually happened. First hand experience.
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theexecutionerssong · 5 years
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Alright so, recap from the screening!
First, David, Carol and Niels spoke a bit and thanked the whole crew and us for being here and being so supportive, reminding us to keep being that supportive during s4 so we get more seasons. Then the cast got there from the back of the room and everyone got distracted so they called them down, they waved, Maxence with his cute plushy raccoon, and sat down front row. 
We watched episodes 8 and 9 back to back. I was sitting right behind Axel and Maxence and let me tell you, Axel’s hair is so floppily all over the place that it would fall back over the edge of his seat when he’d rest his head on the seat bahah.
Maxence seemed nervous about the scene in which Eliott has a manic episode, he sat up instead of trying to melt into his seat like he’d been doing previously. He leaned on Axel and Coline on his other side a bit, or they were talking, I don’t know. The whole cast looked to Assa and cheered/did a thumb up during Imane’s speech about the mural, we stan. 
At the end of episode 9, everyone was a mess. The only time I had seen that many people  cry in a theater was at the premiere of Love, Simon. We all got up to clap and when they turned the light on, everyone was crying. David went straight to Axel and Maxence, who were also crying, and made them stand up before cuddling them. The video I posted earlier was taken seconds after the lights went up again and you can see tears on their cheeks. They and the rest of the cast kept wiping tears for a good part of the Q&A.
After that there was the pannel and I think you’ve all seen the videos already so not talking about that here but hit me up if you have questions.
Then we had to go outside and that’s when the cast started talking and taking pictures with everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. It lasted about three hours, just talking and hugging and taking pics. 
I was lucky enough to get to speak with David a bit about that last scene of episode 9 and guys... They only did two takes. David said that Axel gave it his all, he went above and beyond and ran so fast he was afraid he would hurt himself (”j’ai cru qu’il s’était pété les tendons”). That first “you’re not alone” he says to Eliott, where he sounds so winded, barely getting the words out? Axel was actually close to passing out. He was out of it, couldn’t catch his breath, he was shaking. They didn’t take a break between him running and then finding Eliott. He seems to be such a wrecked because he was, emotionally and physically. 
When David heard Remember, he saw the scene happening right in front of his eyes, the shots of Lucas running, the flashback full of sunlights, the crescendo, everything. They shot the car almost hitting Lucas for real, David said Axel barely batted an eye and just went for it, blindly, trusting.
We also talked about how Skam France came to be and how many people described it as “a teenage show”, which made him roll his eyes because it often sounds negative in the mouth of some people. He explained that Skam was so important because it was a show that wasn’t for teenagers but made by teenagers. He talked with teenagers for months before going into the casting and writing the scripts. The first thing he always asks when the actors get on set is “how are you feeling? Have you eaten? Have you slept well? How’s your mood?” because he doesn’t want the actors to be fake. When a teenager is happy, feeling down, excited, moody, then he’s all of that and nothing will change it, and he wanted that to be felt on screen. It’s a show that gives a voice to teenagers but it doesn’t mean it’s supposed to be watched only by teenagers, quite the contrary.
The majority of the cast stayed until at least 9:30pm which is when I left to get something to eat. I’m amazed at how patient and enthusiastic Maxence and Axel in particular are, there were hundreds of people and they still took the time to talk and listen with everyone. Maxence doesn’t walk, he skips and jumps towards people, it’s adorable, and he literally makes you disappear into his hugs, he wraps his whole boddy around you. Axel is loud loud loud and kisses everyone ahah. Lula and Coline are the most adorable, bubbly persons you’ll ever meet. Paul is a sweetheart, considerate, taking his time, and so funny. I didn’t talk much to Anne Sophie, Leo and Edouard because I had seen them at the concert before. I missed Assa and Philipine though :(
When I walked past the cinema after having a meltdown at Five Guys because of Supernatural an hour later, I bumped into David again, his arms full of gifts from fans. We thanked him again, I told him I was impressed and so grateful for the time he gives us. He said that he felt like he had to listen to us, IRL or online, because that’s why he does what he does and that’s how Skam came to be, by listening to us. I told him that even though I’m 26, I can still relate to the show and that I would have needed it so bad 10 years ago. To which he replied that he’s eternally grateful for this kind of comments, and that our generation, the gen z/millenials, are the ones who are the most vocal about fighting for our right to love and that it was fucking beautiful but also shouldn’t be necessary. He hopes his kids won’t have to, and that all he wanted after tonight was hugging them. So I told him good night, go home, and hug them extra hard.
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agl03 · 4 years
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Promo Meltdown 2K20
Okay I totally know that we’re all about to go bonkers due to lack of promo pics when we are now TWO WEEKS OUT!!!!  
But just remember that this is nothing new, Season 5 and even worse Season 4 cut it oh so close (Season 6 was a downright treat how soon they came out and that was still close).  
Remember Season 4 when the only promo stuff we were getting was Ghost Rider related and this was before the fandom had fallen in love with Gabe and Robbie and were less interested  in a flaming car and more interested in if Jemma had a Ring on her finger and Daisys Emo look.  Those pics dropped like 4 days out.
Hold tight, they will come, when we least suspect it!
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