#i say weeks only bc saying months is even more of a red flag but.................. yeah..........

[ravisinghs-wife]

The seven + Nico and Reyna and their red flags ✼

warnings: not proofread, swearwords, lmk if I missed anything!

a/n: okay I'm sorry I didn't post for like two months, ngl I simply forgot that this blog existed😭

notes to the fic: reader is written as gn (one mention off y/n), but pls don't read Nico's part if u identify as female! :)

masterlist

Percy

he's always barefoot during spring and summer

you'll never catch him with shoes on because he things that they are "blocking the fresh air his toes need"

at least they never get that dirty because he can't survive five minutes without jumping in the sea

when he was younger sally had to force him wear shoes to school, to the parkt et cetera and he was always so angry at her after that because he hated it with all his passion

that anger quickly faded after she baked some blue cookies

after growing up he learned that he should wear shoes to school et cetera but the second he is at camp he gets rid of them

after you dressed it he delegated that he always washed them and kept them clean so there was no wrong doing it and that it's actually healthy for your feet

Annabeth

listen, I love annabeth

but she's always mansplaining

Like u could be talking about ur close family that she only met once and she‘d say something like „actually, i had the impression that…“

It’s so annoying

she doesn't even mean it mean or something

but it also could be just a conversasiation that she isn't even involved in and she'll just randomly pop up and mansplain the topic

jason

That boy doesn’t have any basic knowledge

Like he is at camp jupiter since he’s three or something

I‘m not sure if they even knew what they where teaching him

Like that boy doesn’t know algebra

You could be talking about something in history and how deeply that event infected the way society lives now and he‘d be like „what do you mean?“

And he’s serious

Everytime Percy and Leo make fun of him for not knowing something he‘ll run to you and beg you to explain it to him

Most of the time you make a bit fun of him too because a 17 year old boy who doesn’t know what the french Revolution was is kinda funny

He knows that you‘re just joking though

hazel

I love her but she's like one of the extra careful mom's whose world break when their child hears a swear word

every time you are someone near both of ou swears she has this weird shocked and impressed look and looks around the room

you had to stop swearing around her bc she always starts blushing and looks at you in awe

they don't even have to be the "bad" swear words, it could be something like shit and she'd still be shocked

you had to learn to find alternatives like fudge or fox

she made you browse for the alternatives to swear words for around two hours at midnight and made you subscribe to the mommy blogs incase they had "more cool little alternatives"

piper

she's a die hard romance book hater

she always gives you the weird look when you read one or even only look at one at the bookstore

like she doesn't even have a plausible reason besides that they "always have the same ending and are very predictable"

I mean she's right but still

when she was 14 she had an instagram where she just talked shit about romance books because she was bored

it's not even that she doesn't like reading or books that much, she just doesn't like them because they (as already said) have the same ending and because she gor sick of the perfect romantic ending after drew talked night in and out about it

you once convinced her to read your favorite romance book and she tried her best to be nice

she actually didn't find it that bad and liked the ending but she would never admit that to you

leo

that boy either doesn't shower for one week or takes two hour showers

it's a bit better in the summer but especially in winter he never shower because he "would just get dirty later again"

you have to force him too properly shower because he would just forget it again

and when he actually showers for once he takes two hour showers

but especially in summer he's just gonna swim in the lake and call it a day because he basically "got clean already"

frank

I love frank sm but he would 7 in 1 shampoo

he doesn't get why it's bad and insists that it makes his hair shinier

you try to explain it to him once but he just doesn't understand 😪

he also tries to convince you all the time that it's so much better than owning body wach, shampoo and conditioner

nico

is a pop music hater

he always has this annoyed look on his face when you play pop music

he always makes this disappointed dad sigh and says "again?"

nico sounds so disappointed

he secretly loves it about you tho

reyna

she's like a confused mom and never gets jokes

"what do you mean by that, y/n? I never do that"

you try to explain the joke to her but give up after 10 minutes

she's grumpy for the rest of the day because you wouldn't finish explaining it to her

eventually she gives her pride up and asks you again

and after another ten stressful minutes she finally gets it

she kept arguing that what you said doesn't make sense

#x reader #dating headcanons #percy jackson x reader #fanficton #masterlist #annabeth chase x reader #hazel levesque x reader #frank zhang x reader #piper mclean x reader #jason grace x reader #nico di angelo x reader #reyna avila ramirez arellano #Reyna Ramirez Arellano x reader #Reyna ramirez x reader #percy jackson fanfiction #pjo x reader #pjo x you #red flags

[one-squash-one-end]

I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis

Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.

It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".

And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)

(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)

Introduction

What even is the Raven Cycle?

Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions

The Gangsey is a polycule

Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate

Drawing a conclusion

Click here to start with the introductory parts!

1. Introduction

So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!

And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.

Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.

Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.

2. What even is The Raven Cycle?

The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.

To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)

Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.

But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.

The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.

Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.

Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.

#y'all better like this it took a while #trc #the raven cycle #gansey #blue sargent #ronan lynch #adam parrish #noah czerny #henry cheng #the raven king #the raven boys #blue lily lily blue #the dream thieves #let's hope i don't forget about this after the first part #please talk to me about your thoughts

[traumatizedjaguar]

Abusers never getting their story straight:

I spoke to one abuser who said that he wasn’t an abuser because he lacked self awareness about his behaviors during the time he abused women he had relationships with. So being mentally ill let him off the hook for abusive behaviors. But he still had a right to get revenge and abuse people in extreme ways who minorly hurt him as I was given details of those situations… but nobody has a right to hurt him back.

I spoke to one abuser who claimed he wasn’t the only abuser in the relationship and that him and his ex gf were 50/50 when it came to splitting up the role of being the abuser. So he went on to tell us in the chat that it’s a good thing bc now it’s a “fun” war where he’s justified in doing whatever he wants to his ex girlfriend and nobody can talk him into thinking differently. I asked for details and he told us, so fucking clearly, that his ex-gf just reacted to his abuse…. He drove her “crazy” basically.

I talked to another abuser that said he had NPD and his ex had CPTSD, OCD and BPD and he laughed about how they “made a beautiful mess of everything” when they dated. Red flag. From all the details, he had no self awareness of describing that he abused her first, but he thought “so what” bc “she’s bad too”, dragged her through horrible and stressful situations, justifying it bc “he had childhood trauma” causing her to react to him in such intensity and horrible behaviors back. He blamed her BPD and his NPD saying they were both abusers, but everything he described had absolutely nothing to do with her BPD, and more so to do with his treatment of her, and her simple reaction to that which can get either confused or overlap with BPD symptoms coming out. Why not blame her CPTSD? CPTSD had a lot of symptoms about flashbacks, emotional dysregulation, even anger issues sometimes and when she displays these symptoms why is that not automatic “she’s the abuser” with the CPTSD? Why not blame her OCD? Anxiety around loved ones too. He admitted without realizing it probably that he gaslit her and she did not gaslight him; he gaslighted her in extreme ways I was concerned that he will never change his way of thinking.

I’m spoke to another abuser who said he kept pushing a girl into a relationship and would never leave her alone and didn’t count this as emotional abuse and potential stalking. She non stop would run from him and tell him to get away and stop bothering her. He genuinely believed coercion isn’t abusive if he spread out his coercive behavior over the course of months as in: “coerce her for 3-5 minutes, then leave her alone, repeat for months every other week or so”. Which made no sense like “people change their minds especially if every week I can come up with something good to get her to turn her no into a yes”. He harassed her, stalked her, and coerced her into things she didn’t want to do and claimed she abused him when she reacted so badly to him one day at school and embarrassed him in front of all their classmates. Which he said he had a right to get revenge on her and bully her for embarrassing him; obviously he does not have a right to abuse her because he abused her first, she reacted and told him off in front of everybody, then he claimed to be a victim.

Mutual abuse is non-existent.

#my text #mutual abuse #excuses #justifications #cptsd #bpd #actuallyabused #gaslighting #psychological abuse #complex ptsd #actually cptsd #borderline personality disorder #bpd tag #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd safe #ocd #cptsd vent #cptsd symptoms #ptsd #childhood abuse #anxiety disorders #gaslight #tw gaslighting #gaslit #emotional gaslighting

[jaxxsoxxn]

Do you have any Flasharang art

or Headcannons

Henlo Anon! With art amma be slow bc I hurt my hand slightly at work yesterday :') but expect it!

Flasharang hc tho? I have few:

- Boomer pouts, like I love him dearly, but he can be pretty childish, but he fully on has to bite his lip to not pout when he's deeply unhappy at smth. Flash, when not Brainiaced, absolutely adores it. After few months of a relationship, he learns to notice the signs of it being hidden and can't help but smile at it. If Boomer will catch him smiling at it, he'll have to fight the need to pout even more.

- Flash, normally, would be pretty affectionate with Boomer. He's not one to hold back with physical or verbal PDA, and while Boomer might be pretty crude and loud, his ginger genes betray him whenever the other decides to give him a quick peck in front of his team or any other hero/villain, and his face turns red in seconds. He tries to act angry about it - he fails.

- Flash would be way sweeter at the start of the relationship, just to be a horrible tease later. No-one would believe Digger when he'd say that, above GL(Hal Jordan ver.) or other people that know Flash enough to be aware of it.

- Digger takes somewhat the most beautiful pictures of Barry and he hates it. He wants an ugly photo for his contact pic! Give him one!

- On the other hand, Bar takes the worst pics of Boomer ever and he really doesn't want to! But somehow his every pic looks like those blurry, chaotic pics of orange or black cats that do smth they shouldn't be doing.

- Flash loves cuddling Digger from behind. He needs to be the big spoon, he needs to count every little freckle and just keep Boomer safe, even if Boomer doesn't need the protection. It's just something small comforting him.

- The first person in the squad who knows about them isn't Harvey, surprisingly, it's Floyd! He's actually so deep in denial about it for first few days he knows, he shoots Digger looks like he killed his dog. Zoey, on the other hand, adores the fact that her silly uncle Boomer has a superhero bf. Boomerang disappeares from the face of earth for two weeks after learning she knows because he doesn't want to talk about it to her. Flash loves little Zoe.

- Hal isn't even in top 10 first people to learn about the relationship, but he absolutely hates it and for first two months or so, he shoots Digger dirty looks and steps in-between the two when he can. Barry is deeply embarrassed and amused at the same time.

- Boomer usually uses Barry's name in a silly, half annoyed half petty way, but when they cuddle in front of TV and Digger falls asleep to his fave cartoon, he sometimes mumbles it in his sleep, softly and wanting, and all Bar can do is fall in love again.

- Hal and Zoey, when they meet on a hang out caused by these two, are the most chaotic duo ever. She deems him her favourite and only likeable Green Lantern. He fights the tears for the whole day out. Floyd still doesn't trust him much, but his daughter trusts him so he'll give him the benefit of doubt.

- Squad and the other closer coworkers, above Shark and Toyboy, make disgusted sounds or kissy sounds at Boomer every time he mentions Flash. One time a random guard tries to give him shit too, but Flag knocks him out right then and there. Only few people can make fun of him, thank you very much.

So that's about all for now! Oh Lords it's a lil more than I planned, but well

Also, don't fear to send more asks! I thrive off them :P

#idk #probably bad english #bsing trough life #flash x captain boomerang #flasherang #flasharang #Hc #Headcanons #Flasharang hc #ssktjl #suicide squad kill the justice league #captain boomerang #Shipping #Ships #Dc Ships #Anon ask

[taegularities]

Wait I wanna know more about the guy who fucked up, if you feel comfortable of course

Do we need to bring our pitchforks or just hate mail ⚔️

wait i'm actually... ksjdksad i don't like talking about someone like that, but i do need to vent, if that's okay? jkdshkasf i've been bottling it up and only talked about it properly to my mom and dad :'')

the first few weeks, he was really sweet? like he'd buy me gifts and compliment me and tell me how much he admired my personality. i think he's not a bad person per se, but he's extremely old-fashioned and narrow-minded.

i saw the first red flag when he called me and ended up speaking about marriage. which is okay, you know. like, i'm alright with being open right from the beginning. but that convo brought in a few very strange happenings in the following few weeks, which included but aren't limited to

him asking, "you're not one of those girls who'd wanna wait for years after marriage before having children, right?".. i tell him, well yes, i am. do you want kids right away or? and he says.. "9 months isn't right away." ok.

him saying he's too lazy to clean his apartment, and "how about i pick you up, bring you here, go away for the weekend and when i come back, you'll have it all cleaned!"

him offending my entire occupation that i studied for for years, because he had a bad experience with people in that department. i understand, but i did tell him not all of us are the same, and he said "idc, they don't deserve any respect", which essentially means that i don't either.

him looking at me weird when i said that tom holland's lip sync battle is one of my all-time-favourite videos on yt and then telling me, "but it's gay af." and just generally not being a fan of the lgbtiqa+ community.

him saying that once he's a dad, he'll be strict and not allow his kids to do anything. he just? talked about having kids a lot? even told me, when i almost choked on smoking hot food, "don't die, i still need like 3 kids from you"

and what made me abandon him for good: i asked him why he's always so excited about marriage, which is okay, but just wanna know! he says people usually want to get married bc they love their partner, but idk why... for me it's cos i want kids. in that case, i noticed he wasn't there for me, but just bc i'm fertile (or so i hope)

that day, i said he should want a girl for more than that. he said, "i know, after all you're not a child factory". i tell him yup that's right... and he proceeds to joke, as he called all his offensive shit, "but you could be." and that's where i bid him goodbye.

there goes. i was in a strange mood after that? i think i even dipped from tumblr for a moment. my parents were a bit worried, but then i realised that i felt a lot better without him. god i'm not ready for relationships lmao, but i won't fight love. when it happens, it happens... so fingers crossed for something better <3

#tw sexism & homophobia #this was a huge ramble lmfao i apologise 💀 #lolll no hate mail tho it's okay 😭 #might delete later but had to get it off my chest :') ty for asking bby <3 #notes for rid 🌹 #anon

[walnutmediocre]

Why I'm quitting my job that I'm now 8 months into.

For about a week now, I've been having some self revelations. Or rather I should say some self re-discoveries (I'll go more into that later). For now, I'll describe all the straws singularly being plucked one by one, aka small things that drive me crazy.

Just to get right into it: my coworkers are extremely ignorant. The first day I was getting trained, the person training me already made racist jokes, calling black people "basketball Americans" and how "he's sick of them. they're so loud, and they smell like weed". That genuinely bothered me to my core.

Another thing, a lot of them are sexist. The men there complain about their wives. Genuinely grosses me out.

The manager and one of the female coworkers (who has a boyfriend btw) very obviously have a thing going on. All of my other coworkers mention how its weird, yet nobody is reporting it? In fact, the female coworkers sister is protecting the manager. A customer is aware of this situation (granted hes a piece of shit too. this customer harassed me, however I wish he actually called HR and reported it) and he made the joke that he'd all HR. Thats when my manager was warned about that by the sister. Im just sick of this. To make matters worse, that coworker called her boyfriend stupid for not picking up on what's happening. She would tell him about the gifts that her manager would give her, and he'd say how he's happy for her because that has to mean something positive about her work ethic, or how much the manager respects her, etc. she legit was like "bro you're so stupid lmfao" EVEN WORSE. Women would come up to her and ask her if she's single because they want to introduce her to someone they know. Her answer? "Well.. I'm not married... We can talk about it later!"

Today, I was ringing up these two customers. A dude, and what I can only assume to be a trans woman, either that or a masculine person dressing femininely (I'm describing that specifically bc its a relevant detail) and my male coworker legitimately asked "........is that a man. Is that a man in a skirt." First of all, we legit have a trans coworker so he's not actually stupid, he's being willingly ignorant. And secondly, asking me that as if this is some crazy thing to see like this is the wild or something is actually, well, wild.

Now, I'll be revisiting what I meant by "self re-discovery".

I noticed I've been growing tolerant towards certain things that, in actuality, I cannot stand. They drain me.

People like my co-workers, and people like the customers there, are the exact opposite of me. I miss community. I miss the times when I could walk into a building, a place and talk to people who I agree with, who I can talk about my hobbies with, who I can talk about my passions with. At work, I cant do that. My coworkers are- for a lack of the better phrase- too normal. Like... overwhelmingly normal. A lot of them don't have time for themselves, so their lives are filled with complaining about their car, or their kid, or about their day job. Constantly talking about sports. Constantly talking about becoming a pilot when they're older, or wanting to work at a golf course......... like, what? I cannot relate in the SLIGHEST to that.

When I walk into that building, I feel the loneliest. At first, it was fine, I could laugh with them at a distance, but then I re-discovered that I'm the type of person to be extremely bothered with stuff over time. I re-discovered that Im simply an intolerant person towards, well, intolerant people. Why be a shit human? My goal in life is to surround myself with people who are good for me. My goal is to surround myself with others who I wont constantly look for red flags in.

To close this out, I want to say that I most likely will be quitting in the span of 3 months. I'll be writing my 2 weeks notice soon.

And, if anyone needed to hear it, I just want you to know that ANY reason is a good reason to leave your job. Your employer is owed NOTHING. Leaving and not giving them your time is your right. I don't care if they end up under staffed, and you shouldn't either. That is not my responsibility, and it isn't yours!

#mentally tired #quitting my job #two weeks notice #quiet quitting #capitalism #racisim #sexism #unhealthy relationships #toxic workplace #toxic work environment #toxic work culture #toxic employees #quitting my job lol #job qutting #wanting more #happiness #why im quitting #anti harassment #tw harassment #homewrecking #cheating

[horce-divorce]

finding myself in a relationship where we have managed, in just 2 weeks, to have more healthy and productive and reassuring conversations about our trauma, goals, hopes & fears, than me and any of my exes ever did!! Ever!!! Combined!!! And it is. insane actually lol. it's so new to me to say to my loved one exactly what I'm thinking, without mincing words, and to not only have him not take it personally and freak out / end the conversation, but he answers eagerly and candidly and in a way that actually puts me at ease and makes my anxiety stop??? He specifically talks with me to make ME feel better??? 🥺

I am finding myself with a guy who hears me state my needs and doesn't immediately make it about him, even if our needs don't exactly match or he can't help me with that right now! It's amazing! It feels sooo much better than when my exes and I would lie to each other about our needs totally being met and it being "fine" and then fight about it when one of us inevitably told the truth. he doesn't try to make me feel bad about it when we don't want the same thing! which is fine bc honestly most of the time we genuinely do! and when we don't it's simply not a big deal! like!!!

and not only that but he notices and cares when I'm in a bad mood and asks about it, and remembers the shit I said about my feelings months ago? I was having some Fears the other day, and he asked, and I told him, and he said, "I remember you saying once that you felt replaceable and that's NOT true!!!!" and then hugged me and told me he loved me and that I deserve all his love and care, until I actually felt better??? Like. that cut immediately right to the center of how I was feeling and I didn't get to saying that part out loud, I started to and he immediately knew exactly what I was getting at, because he cares how I feel and was already paying attention before?? Like, I didn't have to ask him to notice how I feel, because he was already paying attention.

For once my boyfriend is more emotionally intelligent than I am and is actually teaching me so much about communicating and stating my needs and asking for/finding the things I need. He is so resourceful and he's done so much therapy already and he knows so much about like trauma and DBT and coping skills. He's so smart!! He's so good at setting boundaries!!! He is always teaching me new things!! I'm literally so inspired by him every single day!!!!

part of me does feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, and we will face plenty of challenges I can already foresee.. but that's life. my friend told me something so wise the other day. she said "anxiety is loud, intuition is a whisper." anxiety screams constantly that I'm not good enough and that everyone is just biding their time until my true flaws rear their ugly heads. Anxiety shouts and yells and stamps it's feet and demands to be heard above all reason and all other emotions.

But lately there's a quieter voice, much deeper down, that's telling me, "I really believe it's gonna be alright." That he really cares. That these are genuine green flags and not 'red flags through rose colored glasses.' That we want the same things and that following him is not only the romantic, idealisric thing to do, but actually the right thing for me, too. So that I can have someone who loves and cares for me, too. So that I have someone helping me achieve my goals, too!! So that we can build queer community and a family and a life together, cause it's a lot easier with the buddy system, and with someone who wants good things for you.

Yesterday we were hunting rocks on the beach and talking about how people subconsciously look for their parents in a partner, and how he's looked for emotionally unavailable partners in the past bc his parents were so abusive (about his mental health, about his queerness, about the fact that they didn't even want a child; he was never anything more than a chesspiece to his Mormon mother).

And he told me, "you're nothing like my parents." I don't have a word for how it made me feel. Something akin to "hopeful," I think, and grateful, and so much love.

Because I've done that, too. we've talked about this before, how when you've been traumatized, you often seek out what's familiar instead of what's healthy. His mom is awful. she met me once (1) and I was so visibly transgender she went on a month-long rampage that ended with her kicking her own son out (bc it's my fault he's on T, despite him being out & transitioning for YEARS longer than me rofl). I know how hard he's trying to break the cycle and he is actually probably the first person in his whole family to ever do it. He's doing SO good and I am so proud of him bc it's so hard.

To be told I'm nothing like his parents is something to wear like a badge of honor. Thank fucking goodness I am nothing like his parents, for his sake. Thank fucking goodness he finally found someone who can try to love him right. And thank goodness it gets to be me!!! Hot damn!!!!

like not to brag or anything but this absolutely rules. I'm so glad I made it through everything I've been through just so I could meet him, it was worth everything. gay t4t love is healing me from the inside out 🥰

#me #everybody shut the fuck up and look at my boyfriend!!!! #<3 bel

[yandere-kokeshi]

I broke up with my ex bf because I’m fairly certain he was low key stalking me. There’s rlly too much to cover unless you were there tbh but basically here are the main reasons or things that tipped me off.

I mentioned that yung gravy is generally (and very platonically) attractive and he got super jealous and told me that he didn’t want to hear abt it and he doesn’t like that I find other ppl attractive besides him.but the thing is he would buy kpop albums and send me pics of the posters and photo cards and tell me how hot they were so like ???? Huh. 🚩

Another reason is that I mentioned that I would have to be very comfortable around him to consider a lot of physical stuff, even kissing bc I’ve had some shit happen in the past and he was like 🥺👉👈 b-but I’m your boyfriend so it shouldn’t matter.

Pretty much any conversation after those two where we were talking abt serious shit, for example the differences person to person in the love you learn from parents and guardians, or love languages and how everyone has a different receiving and giving language, he would bring up the fact that i didn’t want to be physical and found other people attractive besides only him and say that I didn’t love him. 🤪

He also said I love you on the second day of dating after only knowing him at a coworker level for about 4 months prior. There’s a lot more that you rlly had to be there to get it. but idk we only dated for like a month and a half and I was getting maaajor red flags. Like when we would FaceTime I found out he would screen record a lot of our calls 💀 and at work he said he would stare at me all shift, and other stuff like that.

I also have weirdly prophetic dreams and up until I dated him I hadn’t had a nightmare since I was a child but I kept kept having nightmares where he was stalking me. Which sounds crazy but with the stuff he would say sometimes like idk. And get this, we used to go on shopping dates to a specific store and I hadn’t been to that store in a month since I broke up with him and the day i decided to randomly go there with a friend he randomly appeared out of nowhere after we were finished walking around the store for like an hour or so and got behind me in the self checkout line. 💀 I couldn’t tell why it bothered me so much for like two weeks but I realized he makes a certain face when he’s fake surprised at something and he made that face when he saw me so no way was bro surprised. Like 🤨. He also texted me after I saw him in the store and noticed the very small change I made to my hairstyle. Like I parted my bangs ever so slightly different and he texted me abt it. 💀

There was a lot of other stuff like him getting low key upset when I would hang out with my friends that he has never met before. Or when he would hang out with his friend (singular I’m dead serious only one friend) he would say stuff to try and get me to be jealous over the fact that he’s hanging out with someone else🚩💀🚩

Yandere is fun in fiction, not irl. 💀💀Anyway there’s my reason for breaking up.

Yikes, no that's a whole lotta red flags 🚩🚩

I'm happy you ended it and now that you're okay and safe! One of the few reasons I don’t date straight guys!!

One time, this guy who I went on a date with said I smelled good. Which, was nice. But he continually bring it up; "Oh my god, I cannot get enough of your smell" and "what kind of shampoo do you use? It's smells so delightful!"

I mean, saying someone smells nice is a good compliment. But if you continuously say it and be weird about it, it's a red flag.

Again, I'm happy you ended it. Hope your okay :]!

#glossytearsposts asks #so sorry i answered this late #i really am #i never saw this till now #which sounds stupid #but i get so many asks #for anyone who wants to know what this is from #i asked what was your worst ex/or breakup story #kokeshi!! #long post

[inthecarpets]

Hello, just a passer-by! I actually was just looking at waterfall and was considering using it(I'm just looking for new websites to us and be cringe on) when I saw your post recommending not to!

I'm curious, what happened that was so bad???

Hello!!

The admin Thell/Thelle doesn't plan to develop Waterfall.Social anymore. He said he plans to keep it on while he creates something else but its not worth the time. Trust Me. (And waterfall apparently is down half the time nowadays)

People paid for this website on gofund me or whatever patreon website so you'd expect a bit of professionalism but Thell is not and he's ready to blame the users on his own shortcomings.

The ToS at the beginning had some bull like "no need to tire you with legalese" (paraphrasing it here) at the beginning of it. which Obviously had to be changed later. But it was a red flag i suppose.

Back when i joined waterfall years ago it to had some nice ideas, but longterm it fell Apart due to Thell being a mess of a single admin.

Thell created us an art marketplace on the website and then took it down few months later bc it wasn't profitable and people wouldn't abide the rules.

Which, in all fairness, the website was small, and he'd refuse to hire more staff idk. hard to see it profitable if it's tiny

Like, he'd give us featured art frame like on Tumblr desktop except it was random art so everyone got the chance to use it. Everyone loved it bc of that. Maybe feew years later though he broke the feature down

Why? Bc, at least to him, People would register to the website, see "bad art" and then walk away from the website. (Ways to insult userbase💖)

Not that the website itself was kind of bare and laggy and bunch of people was on it :))

Thell changed the featured art frame into 'only artworks above a treshold of notes get in there'. And it was some bull amount bc all you could see was few artworks circulating on repeat 'for another year'

I also heard the coding of the website was a mess but i'm not an IT person so idk

he also promised an app for Waterfall but then it turned out he'd have to have more staff to post it in appstore lol

Thell would even sort of threaten at some point to take away NSFW? the very reason why the site existed

Saying that people don't tag nsfw and this is why other websites got it banned and he doesn't want it to happen here.

A year ago Waterfall stopped working for a few weeks.

And so i was curious and i started digging. (it was actually also after announcement that Thell was thinking about ditching the website altogether for maybe a new project but couldn't decide)

Invites for official discord server weren't working.

Official twitter was gone

Official tumblr account was gone

No info whatsoever

Except i only found some roleplaying cherp drama on tumblr dunking on Thell i guess, bc offtopic, but apparently he was an admin on it and they accussed him of pretending to be 2 people in the same time, god complex, narcissism, bad coding and telling one of the Discord members to kill themself.

At the beginning i also remember being able to look at notification board.

And later it disappeared for some reason.

No notification board

Thell took it down after a year or two I Suppose

Lack of communication, one big indecisiveness, lack of transparency, taking away what was already in there, lack of planning skills while not getting more people on board, etc.

And honestly the red signs were already there even before Waterfall. Before this site, which is supposed to be for leftist minded people, he was creating a website for rightists which also failed lol (you should be able to find more about it while browsing through waterfall tag more). People can change. But it seems Thell didn't change that much for the better beyond changing bunch of views.

If you'd like receipts, they should be available on Waterfall's Staff blog on Waterfall social bc Thell wrote updates through time.

If Thell creates another website ever again i Hope Tumblr will crush it to pulp.

--

If you'd like something that's more stable i can recommend Pillowfort and send you an invite code if you'd like. They also allow nsfw.

I heard there was some drama with it and staff aswell though i have no details about it, and i bet it wasn't as ridiculous as waterfall. I know they were fakely accussed on allowing cp tho. Even despite their website being one of the most anti-cp (even fictional is a No) i've seen. Heard they are too jumpy with implementing this ban, which is not good if you get fakely accussed, but well, maybe it changes. You don't have to pay for it to necessarily use it so at worst its just waste of time. o/ Pillowfort grows and seems to get regularly updated and it has a team behind it.

If you are an artist or an art enjoyer, Artfol is a cool new app for that. You can view it also from desktop. They are currently developing the option to post artworks from website. A very organised small team.

Other social media i somewhat heard of were mastodon (decentralised Twitter?) and Inkblot (another for artists)

If anyone knows more websites, please let me know!

Otherwise? Just not waterfall. Not it. The admin is way too unreliable

Edit: the website previous to Waterfall was racist. idk if rightist but for sure racist.

#carpet talks #waterfall.social #waterfall #waterfall social #thell #thelle #thanks for the ask!! 💖 #carpet's box #long post

[itztlislost]

i quit my retail job

hey y'all, it has been months since I've been active. the last time i reposted something, tumblr immediately terminated my account. I was able to get it back after emailing customer service, which they apologized that it even happen because they don't even know why it happened. weird, but whatever.

anyways, I was inactive because my mental health was my priority. I cut of friends, stopped doing the things I liked and much more just to maintain a baseline of 'ok', which wasn't great considering my only interaction was people at my job of a cashier at a grocery store.

I ended up quitting when the workplace took a turn for the worst, both coworkers and management becoming toxic and I only had one work friend who kept their head on straight. I'm not going to say we never did anything wrong and that it was everyone else being assholes, that isnt true and I don't believe it was anyone but managements fault.

I'm not really sure what caused for this shift to happen, I was too focused on my own problems at the time before i eventually noticed. basically, everyone was in a bad mood, constantly. we all had problems with everyone and each other, we all wanted things and refused to compromise without complaints. The holiday season ended, hours were cut along with all this and management decided to play favorites. white employees got to keep their hours while the rest of us didn't even get the bare minimum of 20 hours, even if we were apart of the union. I know the managers have favorites, we all do, but they suddenly didn't care about being fair.

I was already fighting a losing battle with hr, all the while I was working 10 hour shifts three days into being of my 300ml Effexor and suffering the worst of my withdrawals at the customer service desk. I finally had a breakdown and meltdown, so bad I woke the next morning unable to speak or open my eyes because of the hours long of me screaming and sobbing the night before. do to how bad I was suffering, I called out sick and included all this information which i did not have to and shouldnt have. I genuinely care about my co workers and managers, I didnt want them to think I was faking being sick and I wanted them to know I had stuck it out for as long as I could all things considered. Instead of understanding, I got a huff in reply a dry 'are you sure? fine, ok'.

after that call I proceeded to spend the rest of the day and my days off screaming and crying while I waited for my doctor to fix whatever mistake set this off. that being said, it made me realize how little my work place cared. I built so many friendships with everyone at work that I tricked myself into thinking that this location and management could be any different than corporate or any other chain. Next day, I put in my two weeks and went to stay with my fiance while I got back on my meds.

I'm doing better now and figuring out a better path since I refuse to go back to working retail. the customers were actually the best part of the job imo, good and bad interactions alike. so yeah this was mainly a vent and also just a reminder to myself every time I come back here to remember how horrible that experience was. but hey, let it be a cautionary tale too i guess. Take your meds, call and make sure they get refilled a week or two before you're out bc trust me you may think they'll refill it fast but don't risk it. also retail sucks major doo doo, quit on the spot once you see any red flags. you're disposable to them, make them disposable to you.

#retail #customer service #toxic workplace #toxic work environment #mental health #mentalheathawareness #antidepressants #withdrawals

[scarletanpan]

.

I fr hate my old job why the fuck is the management so incompetent. They’re nice but God every person they hire quits or does something stupid enough to get fired after repeated warnings and red flags mentioned by associates to the managers and they just. Idk sit on their ass and hope the worker fixes themselves?? Until they don’t and then they just let us be stupidly understaffed for months until the next new person comes in to give us and hope and fuck up rotation like. The girl that replaced me quit on the spot. After saying she didn’t like the job and wanted another one for weeks. And half the management is gone rn so now my coworker might have to go back to doing six days a week if I can’t take more shifts and I just got a new job I’m so done.

I’m not even being funny I’m considering doing a fucking intervention where I show up and write an extensive and detailed job description to make sure we hire ppl who actually know what the fuck they’re getting into and are okay with the pay. I’m ready to sit in on talent meetings to give them a rundown of the job myself to see if they actually are willing to take it. Because I am so fucking annoyed I should not have this 60-year old woman on the phone stressed out over how to keep the bistro open when she has appointments and other obligations as any other person should. I should not be the only saving grace if one of the now just three people working a 7 day a week breakfast spot happens to up and quit. I’m also mad bc this is compounding w my anxieties abt literally everything else happening right now like don’t piss me off. Running the hotel should be the manager’s responsibility and not my fucking worry but here we are

And had the nerve to ask me if I can do doubles every Sunday. I was considering it but no fuck you find better workers. Actually search for better workers, I wouldn’t have even found the original job application if I didn’t directly search for it bc it was months old. And this was when the couple working the bistro was doing seven days a week by themselves. Like y’all are clearly not fucking trying, and every time I come in they want more hours out of me bc besides the other bistro workers that have been there forever I’m the only one who does my job like I give a shit. Honestly maybe pay ppl more than 13.15 to fully open and close a breakfast spot while handling meetings rooms and catering events on the fly and you might get workers who actually tried

#text #personal #rant

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday, February 21st, 2024!

4:13am: Ok I love when I read something online and it actually helps sometimes it just takes a day to find ofc someone, or a whole group/ thread of ppl to relate to. I love the Internet, it helps when you're alone 80% of the time.

Ok so a thread about shame/guilt. But it's a good one bc a lot of the time ppl will post about guilt but then everyone in the comments just yay/nays what they did. This guy never says what he did so it's definitely more applicable to other scenarios and not just a peanut gallery.

Basically, kind of like CBT for intrusive thoughts. Pretending like you're telling someone this story, how would they react? Pretending like ok your worst fear about this case comes true, then what? (Either breaking into my apartment, stealing my cats (idc about other possessions personally but to each their own) or being taken to small claims court I suppose. All of these things, even the worst being the cats being taken away somehow, I know I'll live and life will continue on. Things happen for a reason I 100% believe that nothing happens for no reason. There's a reason this chain of events occurred. Something is telling me God was maybe the one looking for any reason to cut him out of my life. Just have faith in something and you'll always have that something to live for (at a minimum, besides all of the other wonderful things there are to live for).

It happened, I apologized, I offered to help, I made my amends. Could things have gone better? Yes I'll take accountability for that. But also, did he have to threaten my brother twice last week? Absolutely not, and he does not realize how that impacted my decision to be much less cordial, less accommodating, because that would infringe upon my boundaries. I don't want my family to feel uncomfortable, this is a boundary for me now and yk it just doesn't only apply to relationships but also friendships. You were making my brother uncomfortable, there is now a crossed boundary and no shit I'm going to alter my behavior because you act erratically and think your behavior doesn't affect anyone outside of yourself. You are wrong.

The other thing the post says is identifying why you did what you did and how to not do it again. I did what I did because I was scared of you. I'm scared you would make a move on me if we went into that closet together. I'm scared of what would happen if I reject you. I'm scared that you were going to provoke a fight with my brother. I'm scared you're going to take my cats AND this is not irrational because you have given me reason to think you would because they are "in your name". You can't just say that shit to people and expect them not to fucking react to it, you are a shitty person for so many reasons and so many things you've said to me like WITHIN the last month bro, not even like I was holding onto shit you said a long time ago. No this was all recent bullshit you said to me and just thought you could get away with.

Ok so how to avoid this in the future? Don't associate with narcissist assholes who disrespect every person who has ever tried to be nice to them. Don't be friends with assholes. This is literally how I will avoid this moving forward. Don't move in with an asshole who is full of red flags. Ok I feel confident now that this will not happen again. Please feel free to refer back to this post. That's the remedy to this situation, don't get involved with a shitty person, once they show you they are shitty, time is up. Just don't get so entangled with a little bitch coward who is willing to value possessions over people time and time again. You know you're better than him, and there's other better people to be friends with. I actually feel like I can move on after writing this all out. I've learned my lesson time and time again with this one person. Repeated behavior doesn't change. Now if I had been known to destroy people's personal belongings, do you think he would've kept that shit here so long? No because I've never fucking done that before, intentionality or accidentally. So to act like this was some grand scheme of mine, he's just looking for a reason to hate me and dump his negativity onto me. I understand nobody likes getting their shit fucked up, and I apologized, he's too immature for me. I can't control what he does or how he feels, if this is how he chooses to react, my reaction to that is really all that matters! I just gotta do what's best for me.

"Life is 10% what actually happens and 90% how you react to it"

2:10pm: vibing in class, finally caught up with everything after being sick!! :') also sitting here thinking, I think my brother saved my life this weekend ❤️ truly, like how my neighbors saved my life. I love them all. I already feel so much less stress.

5:49pm: (text to speech while driving) I called his grandma and talked to her for an hour :) she told me when she saw that all of the things were wet that she just had to laugh and that she was not mad at me and this is why I love this woman she told him that he still could not be mad at me because of all of the f***** up s*** he did to me and she's right that's how I felt about it too I was like I could have thrown these things in the garbage and she & everybody is surprised that I didn't throw his s*** in the garbage like I what why would I keep the things and just let them get wet makes no sense and everybody knows it doesn't make any f****** sense except for his pea brain girlfriend. I feel better. This is so crazy and she even said that he did not mention anything about it to his grandma because he probably didn't even feel that angry about it and he knows it was an accident but that the grandma heard it from the girlfriend because she wants to run around and tell everyone that I left his stuff in the rain and then he just nods along to that, that's hilarious I feel like it would have been a non-issue except that his girlfriend is just running with it I knew it he doesn't hate me bro I f****** knew it he'll be back I'm going to give him his space because I mean I understand it's still not a nice thing to have happened to you and that's his ego talking, right, that ego that he has to protect by Acting mad or whatever but then once it blows over and nobody is bringing it up AKA she is not bringing it up I'm sure he'll find some reason to freaking text me again about something and then it's just all going to start up again. it's cool it is cool I don't know how long it's going to take but it will happen

Honest to God I'm just glad that Grandma thought it was funny and she's not mad and everybody still hates the gf and everybody thinks she's a snake and that she's fake and that something is morally wrong with her she's such a b**** and nobody likes her his grandma also said that she's working on giving him some type of timeline or ultimatum to move out because why would he still be living there as an adult like it just nobody wants him there AND she said it again she wants them to move in together so that they'll break up like and I keep telling her, you still don't like her?? like it's been literally 5 months they've been together for 5 months and I'm like, the fact that nobody likes each other still, nobody is trying to get to know each other, nobody has tried to make amends and everybody still is petty AF towards each other like that's not what I want to happen but that's what's happening and it has nothing to really do with me now it just has to do with the fact that she's fake as f*** and everybody can tell and he has too big of an ego to admit that he's just f***** up big time and then he just keeps f****** up it's insane the only thing that matters is my opinion about it, God's opinion about it, and his grandma's opinion about it bc she is a saint and she is amazing and I love her and I could talk to her for the whole entire night except I had to go to a meeting and now I'm here. What a relief such a relief I could talk to this woman every single day of the rest of our lives I love her and I mean even his grandpa even asked me like last week, called me randomly and was like when are you coming to town he's so cute I love them both, how can you not? oh wait unless you're a raging b**** 😂 he even mentioned to his grandma how nice it was that I sent him his birth certificate etc in the mail, like he KNOWS this was an accident, he's just being a little bitch for the time being 😂

6:06pm: Long story short, nobody is mad!! Normal people don't get mad about accidents plus everyone else would have thrown it away!! Grandma thought it was funny and still loves me, and he is just protecting his stupid ego 😂 I'm so glad I called her ❤️

P.S. Grandma did not GAF about poor grandpa dying 💀 she said I don't know that man 👀😂 aaaaaaaa I love her sm that's wild. She said the gf is so fake, just puts on this act like she's so innocent and everyone thinks she's just a weird POS. Plus she agreed it's fucked up and if she really cared about her grandpa she wouldn't have left!! I was like wtf?? Jeez so mf fake as helllllll and she's not fooling anyone yuck ick ick. And she STILL looks like a boy 💀 fucking dumbasses 😂

[h-pelessly]

November 30, 2023.

David and Hunter's second Crowd Pleasers show happened today. We weren't actually planning on going because for one, I started a new job and thought taking this day off wouldn't work, and so Tim didn't request it off. But it turns out my assignment ended early and we were able to go. The only thing that sucked was that Tim wasn't able to request it off bc we decided to go late (past 2 week request) and bc another one of his co-workers already requested that day off. So we went right after Tim got out. He got out early for once and he was able to go home, eat, shower, and walk Luna. And then we were off. We arrived like an hour before the show started and I was like oh, it'll probably get filled bc it was last time, but it wasn't. We were able to snag seats in the aisle. However, this time around, David brought many friends which took like half the arena so was it really sold out? Anyways, to the show. The musician started off the show and as much as I like Alex Aiono, this guy was so much more interactive and funny. He stopped by the couple in front of us and my heart fucking stopped tbh because I was like PLS I WILL CRY IF U LOOK AT ME. And then to the dating portion of the show. I didn't know the girl dater, but we knew most of the contestants. The girl in front of me, who came with her boyfriend, who apparently, is in a it's complicated situation, was so fucking annoying and down bad for Zach Justice. Like I get mans is funny. I didn't get the appeal until like 5 dating shows in, but like she would film every time he spoke, and only him. She blocked my whole view because she kept moving her damn head and I'm like????? The other people are also hilarious!! Trevor Wallace was one of the other contestants and people did not like him. I was like WHAT IN TARNATION like that man is hilariously dickish. He even looks like a Chad/Brad like come the fuck on. Moving onto the male dater, I didn't know who he was at first, but then he started speaking and I'm like I swear I know him from somewhere. Then he mentioned his roommate is Fabio and I'm like OH YEAH HE WAS THE WINGMAN IN FABIO'S VIDEO. He's funny tbh. I felt like I didn't know any of the contestants, but they were rizz masters. Oh, and an Asian girl was on there and she almost won. She turned out to be famous. OH, also, she said she was Filipina, and the WHITE girl in front of me was like cheering. I was like ???????/ what the fuck is happening. Anyways, I have mixed reviews for the night like they def made some improvements, but was I just tired/dead? Or was the couple in front of me just assholes?

Also, I wanted to say that I had an assignment for a staffing agency starting on November 13, and they were honestly so fucking strict and weird. I met people, and that was cool, but my manager was super cliquey and weird. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have worn a crop top, but it would've probably been fine if I wasn't reaching for something. But she, my manager, was Asian, and I don't know, I got super weird vibes from her. She's like fake happy, which I get is the role of receptionist/office management, but I'm like????? what the fuck please.... Also, I was mid-talking one time, and she didn't let me finish before snatching my notes away and reading my question. Like she was too impatient to wait. Like SUPER red flag. But also, they said they didn't want me after a week lol like what did u test me on. Like u didn't give me a chance, but that's okay. That shit was far and driving home with astigmatism was so bad.

Books I read this month;

Behind the Net by Stephanie Archer (100/10) I loved this book sm. Jamie was the perfect book boyfriend, and if Pippa and Jamie were not soulmates, I would be FERAL for this man. He's such a sweet person whose main focus in life is his mom and his career. He has so much self control, but it turns out his weakness is this girl. This girl who needs him. Who he betters by being her #1 supporter. Pippa's story is so relatable it hurts, and she's being pushed for a safe career. I connected with the characters, and Stephanie Archer can have my soul honestly. This story took my absolute breath away. And the side characters? I'm so excited for the next story.

Play with Me by Becka Mack (100/10) Bro, I'm in love with this book because Jennie is like me which begs the question of do I have daddy issues???? I was not gonna pick this one up because I wasn't the biggest fan of the first book of the series, but omg the tension and the characters are chef's kiss. Okay, but anyways, Jennie has major trust issues and knows how to take care of herself, but in walks a nervous wreck of a hot guy (who also happens to be a hot hockey player and her brother's bff). Garrett (which I might be biased by his name) could have any girl he wants but he wants to stick by Jennie. He agrees to the FWB pact with Jennie even though he could have anyone else including penetration sex (because Jennie is only agreeing to oral.) Garrett is such a cinnamon roll simp for Jennie and she walks him like a dog, but also breaks down her walls for him and I am absolutely here for them. Do I want her more????? I think so because Garrett is blonde and idk. The book was long and there were some repetitive parts, but I enjoyed every last minute of this book.

Delay of Game by Maggie Rawdon (7/10) Only bumping it up from 6.9 to 7 because of the quote "You're the love of my life Liv. I thought I could have that in half measures with us just being friends. I thought it would be enough, but it's not. I want all of you." HE WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN. Anyways, not my fave in the series, but I did want to know the tension between Olivia and Liam from the beginning. This was a friends to lovers trope/miscommunication trope with a bit of survivor's guilt/emotional cheating in a way. I have come to the realization that most friends to lovers trope is super cheesy and needs to be crafted to perfection in order for me to read and love it. Regardless, the story was short, but it skipped out/skimmed over major issues that needed more explaination, but the author def. found her voice in this one vs. the first book.

Enemies with Benefits by Roxie Noir (5.8/10) This book had me kicking my feet and giggling in the first part, not going to completely lie, but then it got real. Their hatred for each other was really childish and doesn't really stem from anything-- just that they want to always one up another which is also Devi and Ben from Never Have I Ever. Also, it's a forbidden romance in a workplace setting which I don't mind, given that The Hating Game was amazing, but this one was so realistic. Like they are ALWAYS working and barely have time for anything else, interacting mainly because of work. I like realistic stories, but not THAT realistic. This book was pretty southern and boring, not going to completely lie. But I finished it so I'm proud of that!

The Love Wager by Lynn Painter (10/10) Honestly got me out of my tiny reading slump from the last book I read. Jack, the male main character, was honestly the love of my life for the beginning, then he started being Hallie's love and I was okay with it. I love Hallie, she's honestly such a lovable and strong character. This is a friends to lovers trope, and as much as it's such a hard topic to tackle, Miss Lynn Painter killed it! I was sobbing, hoping they will be together at the end. It was a cheesy rom-com read and I fuck with that.

[enchantechante]

I met a guy on a dating app.One day he left his number for me to call him and I did.He was nice and our conversation was never weird.We talked on the phone regularly for about two weeks, everyday.He would check on me and see how I'm doing,how's work,we would talk for ours.I thought he would probably end up like other men I've met who were full of shit and would talk shit sometimes.By that I mean,I would go tit for that with what he would say and I cursed a lot.I never realized how much of a turn off cursing could be for some men.We got into it one day while he was at work and talked so much shit to him because of a text he sent me.I text him the next day and apologized for my behavior.I told him I liked him,he's a nice guy and could still be friends or whatever if he wanted.That was two weeks ago.Yesterday he text me hi stranger what have you been up to?My mind went back to how men play games because why did he wait two weeks to respond to me?This is where I need your advice.I have dealt with a lot of trifling men who have done me wrong and I know all men aren't the same.He is older,has a 19 year old child, church goer, respectful,never married and looking for a woman he can eventually be with.No rushing.Do you think I need to get over the fact he waited two weeks to respond?Is that a red flag or do it matter?I want to know what would you do?I don't know how to tell if a man is genuinely into me based on all of the bad decisions I feel I've made.I take words men say and try to read between the lines because I feel like many of them are always trying to be sneaky.I don't have time for that and I also don't want to let the past get in the way of me probably having at least a great friendship with him.I am also asking because I know you care about those you give advice to and want us to make good choices.I just want you to be honest with me.I know I need to heal and that's what I'm working on.I definitely need to let all that cursing go because it's really beneath me cursing with everything that comes out of my mouth.I know better.You don't have to rush to respond.I know life is busy but I know you'll get to it when you can.I check your blog often anyways.Lol.Thank you in advance.I just want to be better and stop hurting new people who come into my life by comparing them to people who have hurt me.Seems to be too hard sometimes.I feel like I need to get back into reading my Bible and focus more on God.I have not been doing that and that could be a reason why I always feel so angry,like I'm be played with or used and confused by just anyone.

OHHHH MY BBY!! 🥺😭

Hard to explain that yall are "anonymous" but I feel like I'm speaking with real friends I haven't met yet. 😌

What's incredible is that you're already realizing the root of your anger even though there were no set expectations violated, the root of you not trusting people who haven't given you a reason not to, the root of feeling like somethings "going to happen" is secretly haunting you.

And you want to be free of these things.

Personally, I self care my way through it until I have a quiet mind. Then I pour my heart out.

I calm down with a bath, or a walk/talk w a friend. Complete a distorted thoughts worksheet. Journal asking, "What lessons has this come to teach me?" List your steps to resolving the issues and who to reach out to if you feel stuck. Even a short list counts.

I went back to church and spoke w my Pastor. That took months but it was worth it because I deserved/needed the support. We came together and got me back with my therpist.

I noticed before I would struggle to keep hope regarding love bc I was only making an effort after personal conflicts. I began to plant hope in my mind in the morning as love letters and at night as affirmations. And eventually I planted so much the doubt loosed its hold.

I've always dreamt of making personalized spiritual self care plans for yall - something creative and different that makes healing fun. I hope you find the best combo of coping and support to walk you through this.

I know it's not beyond you, you're already doing incredible ✨💛🙏🏽

#Making a Change Anon

[ducksbuttocks]

i say this with love in my heart but i hate all of you reblogging that post about what time you consider to be "sleeping in". i've literally been sleeping entire weeks away and y'all are making me wanna commit crimes 🔪🔪🔪

#i say weeks only bc saying months is even more of a red flag but.................. yeah.......... #i've been going through life completely unconscious since feb 2020 i don't know what time is <3 #everyone feeling guilty about saying 9am as if that isn't literally when i finally fall asleep some days 🚬🚬🚬🚬 #(...)