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#i see no other explanation for why its so bad
puppyeared · 7 months
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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Phullo it is I again!
I am very glad that you actually responded and given me an actual advice since I was worried about the question I sent you.
Though besides that I have another question for you (hoorayyy)!
So, about the reading books earlier- I’m fortunately a bookworm too! It’s just that I notice I prefer reading the genre science fiction/psychological horror more than… anything else!
And while the books I am currently reading, ‘Flowers For Algernon’ and ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ (these books are seriously so wonderfully made they make want to tear my walls), DO have romantic aspects of it- it’s not really the main plot of the story..
‘Flowers For Algernon’ has amazing storytelling and is very unique- though I’m not sure if you’ve read it before but, it’s actually just the main character taking notes. Hence why there was a lot misspellings which honestly makes it a great touch if you know the context behind it.
On the other hand, ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ too shares the same uniqueness as the other, possibly even more unique if I must say so myself. Though I REALLY don’t want to make my story similar to them since I want to make it more heart warming than fucked up..
Which is why I feel like I have the need to borrow or buy at least one romantic book because, I lack of it. I mean I accidentally borrowed it one time but it was kind of disappointing.
I don’t know if its a good idea and if I should do it or not since does it really matter of the genre, or just the writing?
Still, if you have any good books that are in the romance genre. Feel free to recommend some to me!
-lots of love, from another bookworm
welcome back! happy to hear you're a bookworm as well <3 im writing those titles down since i read a criminal lack of sci-fi despite loving it
i actually don't have any straight up romance recs - i don't actively search it out (outside of fanfic), so any romance i read just comes with whatever book i've picked up. just straight up romance bores me, unless its a fic with a pairing i actively like. and even then, i need to take breaks from it unless the romance is interspersed with an actual plot. im not a romantically-geared person! i dont have single Main Plot Is Romance book on my shelves!
but imo its really just the quality of writing that helps. ive never been in a romance, im the child of two different divorces, and yet ive been told that i write romance fairly well. go fuckin figure lmao.
so actually my advice on romance is to just like. wow idk what i do is pick apart the romances i see on tv / in writing. what makes them good together, how do they act around each other, what are their love languages, what's their dynamic, what traditional romance things do they partake in, what dont they partake in, do they have anything nontraditional, do they work and why do / they dont they - does that make their relationship more interesting or is it flat. are they a good match.
you don't have to have every answer, but ive found that at least understanding their characters / dynamics, and having them interact in a way that suits them will help your romance feel natural. dont conform to tropes or tradition, that will just make the relationship flat and unrealistic. and you can always sprinkle in little things that you like / would like, which will help ground the romance and get you into the groove
tldr with romance, i think it's better to observe real life (whether that's paying attention to couples or reading reddit threads) & analyze in-love or in-a-relationship characters instead of just reading romance novels. bc honestly, and from what i can tell, they can tend to be over the top or cookie cutter
just realized you did not explicitly ask for romance advice! Oopsie! i got a little carried away here....
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autisticlee · 13 days
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that autistic feeling when social rules changed so suddenly and randomly and you don't understand why and everyone refuses to offer an explanation becuase everyone ~should just know why~, but you're the only person that didn't get the update.
do you ever see people do something a lot and assume it's fine and normal and acceptable and harmless, then suddenly out of nowhere when you (or even someone else) do it, it's now suddenly "bad/offensive/weird/creepy/a red flag/unacceptable" and you just get so confused and dont understand why it suddenly changed.....
#it was someone else who did it. i just witnessed it. and im afraid to ask why thats a problem now......the person was banned and. wtf tbh#there was no explanation. the mods just said its bad and creepy and a red flag to let someone know you dm'd them. BUT#I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME. everywhere on the internet people will throw out a “i sent you a dm” so whys it suddenly bad?#i never did it because they will get the notif probably so why give them 2 notifs...but still. it seemed so normal and harmless#and now its creepy and weird and unacceptable and a red flag. red flag for what exactly lmao. they didn't explain#its stuff like this that makes me afraid to talk to people in groups like discord servers and twitch chats because#you will get banned and blocked for saying the most harmless things without warning and get no explanation at all#im too autistic for this shit. if someone does a “bad” thing EXPLAIN IT TO THE REST OF US WHY ITS BAD!!!!!!#always offer explanation and another chance because some people genuinely dont know why youre so upset suddenly about harmless things#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rants#im the type of autistic that is very good at saying the wrong things without knowing and gets no explanation#especially when just repeating the trendy words and phrases said by others and copying what others do. its only wrong if it's me 🤷#when it happens to others i get upset for them because. the fuck?????? that could have been me walking into an unknown trap
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nagitoedit · 1 year
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#shy bc i am definitely treading into dangerous territory here but#i just dont see why people care so much about the term bi lesbian. like who care.#and people are making it out to be this huge threat to lesbianism and bisexuality like. is it really? is it?#and i guess the other part of it is people trying so desperately trying to pin down some definitive and all encompassing#definition for what is and isnt a lesbian and its just. uhm guys do we really need these definitive solid definitions and#strict bold lines drawn between this and that like . its just a waste of time and this actually Does harm people#like you guys just need to understand that the definitions and lines between this and that orientation are really vague#and that youre making a huge monster out of something that really i dont think effects anyone#plus theres things from the 70s even mentioning 'bisexual lesbians' in like many different contexts or meanings#and also the 'definition' of lesbian used to include bisexuals? the 'definition' has changed a whole lot over time#also seeing this stuff from people who are like 'trans men cant be lesbians' like . whuh.#idk i think my and many of my mutuals genders would make you rip your hair out in rage and frustration.#transgenderism is so. i need you to know that 'trans man' can mean SO many things . and that its just complicated#im just not a fan of people trying to draw solid bold lines between different lgbtq terms and identities bc . its really not solid.........#also some of the explanations i see for why bi lesbians are bad are just. no other way to describe them other than invalid. lawl#'by identifying as a bi lesbian its your fault that straight men harass lesbians'#'bi lesbians are erasing the bisexual community'#'bi lesbians are encroaching on our precious lesbian only spaces and destroying lesbian culture'#'bi lesbians are erasing lesbian and monosexual privilege over bisexuals' (<- WHAT privilege ??? 😭)#like its just . gets a headache for real. i think there are more worthwhile things to put your effort and attention towards#rather than getting angry at like what. a handful of internet people using some term . like i just dont see how this is a pressing issue#im sure that the like 'discourse' about it has made this seem like much more of an issue than it really is.
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chiropteracupola · 2 years
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another tough day on the road
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tigergendermoved · 7 months
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I'm ngl the longer it's been since I've played TOTK the less I like it I think
#do not get me wrong i think the game is fun to play and that was like 80% of where my concern lied#but godddd the story sucks so bad. i love the draconification bit with zelda but the rest. augh#why do we need Another ancient civilization literally appearing out of nowhere and infesting hyrule with its ruins#they got rid of all the sheikah stuff with literally no explanation to shove the zonai into the region#but why are we even focusing on the ancient civilizations again????#it would have made so much more sense to focus on hyrule in the present day. work with the npcs to make hyrule greater than it was#move on from the calamity and turn hyrule into a strong bustling country#the zonai were hinted at in botw but they feel so shoehorned in because they have nothing to do with anything in botw#i dont care about the secret stones we had champion abilities#i dont care about the sages the champion descendants had the champions to look up to#i dont care about rauru and sonia because sonia got fridged hard and rauru's character is flat. pleasant but flat#and i dont care at all about ganondorf because the most interesting thing he ever does is do the gmod face#its so frustrating watching the same 'woah secret stones! sages??' cutscene 4 times with Da New Sages and its so frustrating#watching the other characters speculate what happened to zelda and chase down her ghostly paper trail#when like. i can see her in the sky. she's over there guys#the memories were one of my favorite things in botw bc they all subtly stitched together the story of what happened#in totk they are incredibly plot dense and very linear and very confusing to watch out of order. which is easy to do#the one where sonia gets murked is like. the third memory i found#id at least be more interested in all the zonai stuff if link was the one to get teleported to the past while zelda has to try and save him#giving zelda agency. craziest thing they could have done#ok sorry this is a Lot of salt but just. raaaaagh#maybe my expectations were astronomical but outside of gameplay totk brings nothing good to the table imo#i'd significantly rather they made botw2 more gameplay focused where you can do something like make meaningful changes to the map#tarrey town style#than try to shove a whole different zelda game's plot into a carefully constructed preexisting world#i think the zonai story would be cool in its own game but not botw
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florenceisfalling · 10 months
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don't worry guys if you're ever in a bad place emotionally and seeking guidance some woman with an entirely different outlook on life than you will thrust shitty advice upon you whether you like it or not and then make you feel completely fucking awful about her wealth of wisdom that she is so genuinely convinced she has despite not having any idea . this will make the bad place so much more bad also
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mbat · 2 years
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watching a show where a major character gets recast is so weird
ive only watched a few shows where its happened and it always ends up fine but its just so weird lmao
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yanderenightmare · 5 months
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Mahito x darling
TW: NSFW, noncon, psychological torture, Mahito in and of himself
fem reader
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Mahito is so scary because you're the only one who sees him. 
You can't tell your friends, you can't call the cops, you can't even discuss it with your therapist for fear of being committed. 
You're all alone with him – half the time convinced you’re going insane.
He doesn't even need to kidnap you. Why would he? He likes your cozy apartment. To see you in your natural habitat with all your personal trinkets. Your books, your decorations, the contents of your fridge, your makeup, your clothes, not to mention the soft warmth of your bed…
Sure, his sewer has its charm, but you probably wouldn’t like it there very much. Not that it would stop him, but he’s sure you’d be boring if all you did was stay cooped up there all day. 
This is much more interesting. To be there when you come home from work, having trifled through all your belongings, dragged everything out – made a mess like a new puppy would. To watch you try to cling to your sanity, going about life, trying to live it normally even when he’s right there on your sofa wanting to dish about how much you loath your pissy boss or that loud neighbor and what fun it might be to kill them.
You brush him off as intrusive thoughts – a manifestation within your mind. That’s the only explanation that allows you to keep your wits with you.
But it’s become hard to bring anyone home. Even though others can't see him, he’ll walk about your friends and the odd date and comment on all the things they do, ridiculing them when they say something cheesy, feigning puking before giving it away with a snicker, then asking you why you bother hanging out with them at all. And you wonder if that’s what you really think… why else would a figment of your imagination say something like that?
No. You decide. He doesn’t represent your thoughts. He’s just… a roommate who knows no boundaries. 
Funny enough, you don’t really recognize that he’s any dangerous before you’re getting dressed after a shower, opening a drawer on your dresser you rarely look in – only to find it overfilled with dozens of tiny shrunken heads.
You scurry back on the floor with your hand clasped over your mouth until your back meets your bed – skin crawling. There’s no air left in your lungs from the shock to produce any such thing as a scream – so instead, you start heaving – then crying.
“Oh – I was wondering when you’d find them!” A cheer is heard from your bedroom threshold.
Your eyes pan to look at him – or it. Mahito, with a big grin on his face – clapping as though impressed by your performance.
“Wh-what – what is this?” You splutter, trying not to throw up – casting shifty glances over at the lump that had fallen to the floor – its face twisted with agony, unrecognizable, but you think you still knew… “What have you done?”
It doesn’t smell of rot, but something else – like unwashed clothing – sweat and piss and shit – you don’t understand how you hadn’t smelled it before. You don’t understand how you hadn’t heard it before – the moaning, though only in hoarse weak voices, still there, in a chorus, crying in pain.
“I’ve been studying them.” He says – casually, padding across the floor before bending down to pick the one up.
He looked at it with disappointment, throwing it up and catching it like one would a baseball – then clicked his tongue. 
“But I must say you’ve got boring taste… I don’t feel like I learned much of use from any of them at all.” 
He drops it to the floor in a fleshy splat, and you cringed anew – wanting to crawl away, wanting to get out, to call the police – maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to be committed – maybe there was something genuinely wrong with you…
Mahito doesn't share your concerns, though. He’s got his mind on other things. 
“I think I’ll learn better through practice.”
You don’t realize what he’s talking about before you’re being lifted up on the bed and then pushed down against it.
His lean but muscular frame has you dwarfed as he crawls after you – caging you between his arms and legs.
“I wouldn’t mind the floor, but I’m sure you’d prefer the bed. That’s how you humans usually like it, right?” He smiles – as though he’s doing you a favor. 
He’s taken off his usual tunic – showcasing a pale grey chest patchworked together in crude stitches – and you don’t really understand why you’d ever conjure something that looked like it. So human, yet still… so not. 
“I didn’t know what size you’d want – they were all so different – but I think bigger is better, isn’t it?”
It doesn’t register before you feel the weight of it on your stomach. 
Fat and warm, ridged with veins and hard against you. 
Looking down, feeling the situation settle on your skin like the raw cold – you realize, though you don’t understand it – Mahito isn’t just some imaginary friend. 
Whatever he is – he’s no such thing as a friend at all.
Your chest flares. “Mahito, no – ”
Your hands fly to try and push him off, but they’re easily caught. His fingers stretch inhumanly like playdough, using only one hand to reign in both wrists, pinning them to the pillow above you.
“No? Still too small?” He asks, as though your uproar had been a cry for more – his voice in a playful lilt. “I can make it bigger if you like~”
You squirm when the thing between your thighs grows an inch – swelling up into something fatter than your wrist – weighty and twitching atop you. 
It alone churns your guts, but the sight of his face gleaming so innocently makes it all so much worse. 
You whimper as he drags a rude finger through your folds – bluntly poking at your hole.
“You’re supposed to be wet, no?” He posed, keen eyes watching your face grimace in discomfort – drilling his digit inside you despite it. 
When knuckle-deep, he curled it, nail scraping into the gummy of your tender walls – making your whole body twist with an ache, shaking your head while sinking your teeth into your lip.
“Stop-” You croaked pitifully, still trying to wring your wrists free – but the hand keeping them jailed had hardened into something that was no longer skin.
He just yawned at your struggle. “So noisy...” Bored while looking down at you and the ugly way your lips curled at his crude fingering – but then his eyes widened. “Wait – oh! I get it now! So, this is what kissing is for…”
He didn’t give you much time to turn away before his mouth locked on yours – more in an attempt to swallow than to kiss, feeding you his tongue – which felt so much longer than it should be – winding through you until it licked your gag-reflex and made you choke.
You tensed in response, clenching the finger prodding you – and he took it as an invitation to squeeze another in – making you squeal out a sob in his mouth. 
But though it was a cruel ministration, it was enough to tickle the instinct – dragging wet out from within you, bathing the digits that now slid with greater ease in and out.
“See~ I told you I’d learn better through practice...” He mumbled against your lips – having felt the change – also noticing the quiet that befell you… looking so cute beneath him. 
He chuckled – the taste of your kiss still warm and wet on his lips.
“That really did shut you up, hm~ you humans are so funny.”
That thing resting heavily on your belly does a little jump, and you flinch with it. Left panting after being throat-fucked by a tongue – you’re really only able to shake your head as he slips the beastly thing down between your thighs – its fat head licking your clit on its way until kissing your entrance.
Two fingers haven't done you any justice – nothing could – to prep you for something of that size.
“I think this is correct…” He muses, nudging himself against the slim coin-sized hole – looking a little confused while he did so – though not exactly unsure of himself… more as though it was the whole procedure in and of itself that was at fault and not him. He was just following instructions, after all.
Sucking his teeth at the tautness, he continued to press the tip through you. 
A whine was ripped from your chest as it arched off the bed – thighs quaking on each side of his hips, kept spread despite wanting to force themselves shut.
“It’s better if you relax.” He offered then, though without much sympathy. Sounding almost jaded – as though you were keeping him waiting. 
But then a thumb pressed down on your clit, forcing another jolt to rush through you. 
“Women like to be touched here, right?” He rubbed crass circles into it – worse than amateurishly – rough patterns that bore no real intention of making you feel good. 
Then his mouth slid from your mouth, down your neck – only to sink teeth in your tit.
“And here~” He giggled while nomming your nipple, rolling the little nib between his teeth before flicking over it with his tongue again and again, sucking on it harshly.
None of it made you relax like he’d suggested. Either way, he continued to sink his length one thick chub at a time as fast as your hole allowed. And soon enough, he reached your end before your hole could reach his. But that was no issue…
The hand on your clit, cupped your mound instead – and beneath it, where warmth pooled, you felt inner things alter – change, rearrange, allowing the giant member inside you to sink deeper even though you knew there couldn’t possibly be any deeper to go.
“Wow~ look at that…” He awed when his pelvis smushed against your mound – kneading into your clit as he pressed a curious hand down on the bulge he was making in your belly.
Strings of drool stuck from his lips to your chest – and a sick look pooled in his eyes.
Thicker and thicker breaths left him. He swallowed thickly. Barely blinking.
“I think I get it now…” His voice had shed its humorous tone, now sounding soft with something you didn’t want to have the attention of. “It’s like our souls are playing together…” 
His hand stroked your stomach – like he was petting something.
“Feels good.”
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an-spideog · 4 months
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Don't Use Duolingo if You Really Want to Learn Irish
That title is a bit dramatic, but I really don't think that duolingo is a useful tool for Irish, especially in its current state, so I want to talk a bit about why, and I'll also talk about some alternatives.
Pronunciation
The first and most egregious issue is that at some point recently-ish, duo decided to start using Text-To-Speech for their Irish course, rather than recordings of a native speaker. The problem here is that their TTS is not trained on native speakers of Irish and pronounces words incorrectly. It doesn't make consistent distinctions between broad and slender consonants for example.
Irish has no standard pronunciation, so I understand how it can feel weird to choose just one dialect for the purposes of pronunciation (the old recordings were from a speaker of Galway Irish), but having just one dialect is much better than TTS which sounds like a learner, imagine if they had TTS for the French course which sounded like an anglophone schoolkid trying to pronounce french, and claimed they were teaching you how to speak french!
Grammar
Duo tends to be correct on grammar at least, which is a start. But often people using it get very confused about the grammar because duo doesn't explain any of it. I think there's a place for immersion in language learning, and I don't think everything has to be explained like that, but within duo's system of sentence testing and exercises like that, not having any explanation for why it's "mo chóta" and not "mo cóta" can be really confusing. Duo used to have more grammar information, it's a shame that they removed it, I wonder why they did it.
Money and Motivation
Duolingo is a business, and their motivation is not to help you learn a language 'fully', but to keep you using their app and hopefully have a higher chance of sharing it with others, competing with others, buying or causing others to buy memberships or lingots or any other in-app purchases.
I don't want to make it out like duo is some big conspiracy and they're tricking people, I don't think that's the case, but it's good to remember that their primary motivation is to keep people using the app, rather than help people move to a level in a language where they don't need the app anymore.
Keep this in mind whenever you see people trying to sell you stuff for language learning.
Why do people use Duolingo
I do get it, and I don't want to make anyone feel bad for using duo, there's a ton of reasons people tend towards it at first 1. It's really well known, so especially if you're learning a language and haven't heard of other resources for it, you'll check duolingo 2. It's very motivating for a lot of people, checking in every day and forming that habit is a really good way of sticking with a language 3. It's fun, people enjoy it
If you use it for reason 3. and you still like it, then don't worry about this post, I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yums, keep having fun!
If you use it for reasons 1. or 2. you can still keep using it if you like, but I want to suggest some other things which you might find helpful in trying to get to a higher level in Irish.
Other Resources
To address the pronunciation issue, I'd heavily recommend you disregard the pronunciation in duolingo, if you're looking for more reliable sources of pronunciation, I'd look towards recordings of native speakers, you can find that on:
Teanglann and Foclóir (they use the same recordings)
Fuaimeanna
and a really useful and underused one: https://davissandefur.github.io/minimal-pairs/ where you can hear the difference between similar sounds that English speakers often mix up in Irish.
A lot of people like duolingo because it's nice to have a clear path forward, a progression that you can get into without too much decision-making. For this I recommend getting a good textbook or course and working through it, the ones I'll recommend also have native speaker audio on them.
Learning Irish by Mícheál Ó Siadhail, this book teaches Galway Irish, not just in pronunciation but in grammar too. It's quite dense but it's well thought out and well explained.
Teach Yourself Irish (1961) this book is available for free online, and is a really good option if you're interested in Cork Irish (Munster), and have some experience with grammatical terminology. I used this book myself and really liked it, but it's very intense and not for everyone. (If you do end up using it, feel free to skip the appendices at the start, they're more of a reference and sometimes put people off from actually getting to the first chapter. Also if you have any questions about it or need any help just let me know.)
If you want a video course, there's a great course called "Now You're Talking" which is available for free online, along with audio files and worksheets here. It features Donegal Irish and leads into the more intermediate level course called Céim ar Aghaidh also available online.
There's other textbooks that I have less experience with (Buntús na Gaeilge, Gaeilge/Gramadach Gan Stró, etc.) but if they work for you, stick with them, there's nothing worse than not making progress because you keep switching resources trying to find the "perfect one"
Whether or not you continue to use Duolingo, I would really really encourage you to try engaging with media in Irish. People often shy away from this when they're learning because they don't feel like they're "ready" yet. But you basically never feel like you're ready, you just have to try and find something near your level and try to get comfortable with not understanding everything. This is where you learn a huge portion of the language, you hear how things are pronounced you see what words mean in what contexts, getting input in your target language is so important!
I know content can be kind of hard to find, so I'll make a few recommendations here: There's a wealth of content available for free online (more if you're in ireland but some internationally) on TG4 If you're still starting out, I'd recommend trying to watch some kids shows since they'll have simpler language and will be easier to follow. I wouldn't recommend using English subtitles when you watch them. Some good options include:
Dónall Dána: an Irish dub of Horrid Henry, silly and childish but the actors have good Irish and importantly the show has Irish language subtitles, they don't always match but if you're still beginning and can't necessarily get everything by ear, they're really useful. (Mostly Galway Irish)
Curious George: another dub, again with Irish language subtitles (I can't remember what dialects were in it off the top of my head but I'd assume mostly galway again)
Seó Luna: No subtitles, but a good option if you're aiming for Munster Irish, the lead character has Kerry Irish
Miraculous: No subtitles but a better show than most of the other kids' ones and more bearable to watch as an adult (Mostly Galway Irish)
Ros na Rún: Moving away from kids shows, a long running soap opera, this has Irish subtitles and a really good mix of dialects within the show. If you're finding the kids shows boring or too easy I'd really recommend it, but it can be complex because of the amount of characters, dialects, and plotlines. I'd recommend starting at the beginning of a newer season and just trying to catch on to what's happening as you go.
There are a lot of books, if you live in Ireland you can get nearly any Irish book for free from a library, so please check out your local library or request some of these from other libraries in the system:
There's a series of fairytales (Rápúnzell, Luaithríona etc.) by Máiréad Ní Ghráda which are illustrated and for children, which are a really good option for when you're just starting out reading
There's kids books about Fionn and the Fianna by Tadhg Mac Dhonnagáin
There's a cute little kids' book in Kerry Irish about a cat named Mábúis
Leabhar Breac has a lot of graphic novels, some of them based on Irish mythology, some on other stuff. The fact that they're illustrated can make it a lot easier to follow even if you don't understand all the words at first.
Gliadar has just released their Scott Pilgrim translation
If you're looking for something a bit more advanced you can look at some of the books for adult learners by Comhar, they contain simplified language and glossaries but have full original adult stories.
And if you're wanting full, natural, native-level Irish there's a load of books by those same groups, and others like An Gúm, Cló Iar-Chonnacht, Oidhreacht Chorca Dhuibhne, Éabhlóid, Coiscéim, and more.
And don't shy away from older books written in Seanchló either, they can be more challenging but it's a whole extra world of books
If you're trying to improve your listening comprehension, I definitely recommend listening to shows on Raidió na Gaeltachta, hearing native Irish speakers talk at full speed is really good practice. But I get that it can be overwhelming at first. Here are some things you can do as you build up to that:
Watching those same TV shows I mentioned without subtitles is a good way to build up listening skills.
Vifax is a website where you can practice listening to short news segments and answer questions on them, then getting to look at the transcript with notes afterwards.
Snas is kind of the evolution of vifax, now using clips from both the news and Ros na Rún.
I really hope that this post can help people move away from duolingo if they're looking to take their Irish learning to the next level, if you've got any questions, just let me know!
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zarnzarn · 8 months
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i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.
first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.
a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.
stolitz is nothing like that.
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Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.
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and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-
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cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?
thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.
even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.
he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?
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(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)
(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)
mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.
and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.
but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-
they're in a BDSM relationship.
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I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.
if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!
but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.
now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.
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in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.
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and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.
both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.
and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!
stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright
blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages
ya see?
bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.
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shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.
i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.
anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.
unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).
the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.
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neteyamsilly · 1 year
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i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 2
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summary ;; Your burning determination to prove your father wrong and Jake's wish to teach you a lesson both end up in a pyrrhic victory. PART 1 | PART 3 pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; im speechlessly overwhelmed at the sheer amount of love you guys showed me these past couple of days. like. literally never had something like this happen to me before. i got too excited to finish this chapter to give back to yall, there was an attempt to proofread but... i hope it's not too bad, please enjoy! as always, if you see any mistakes, im sorry!
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The path further into the floating mountains was all the worse to navigate thanks to the lack of light, the only useful guides you had were the faintly flickering bioluminescent lights from the forest deep below. The branches twisting around each other to create a naturally built bridge from mountain to mountain benefited from this, contrasting as a clear obscured line to your eyes against the glow underneath. 
The easiest part of your journey, in hindsight, was just skipping along this line. 
You weren’t exactly happy about this.  
The more you left behind, the more you were freaked out that Neteyam or anyone else was onto your intentions already and hot on your trail right this moment. Imagining father making a beeline to you in the air with Bob, a cruel, merciless whistling arrow, made you all jittery and almost puking kind of nervous, pulling at the depths of your stomach. 
Your rationality told you that it was a half an hour walk to your spot from the tent, and Neteyam would be hurrying the more he thought he wasn’t able to catch up with you along the way, so you had around twenty minutes until the whole family was panicking and raising the clan to look for you. 
Tuk had gone missing once thanks to some hide and seek game with Lo’ak (she’d hidden so well and was waiting for her siblings to find her already, blindly sticking to the game for an entire day, not out of stubbornness but childish purity), and this was exactly what had gone down —
the resentful part of you questioned if father thinks of you highly enough to resort to that. 
If something happened to you, he would maybe urge your brothers to search for you for a while, and drop it then — leaving you to your own devices happily. 
Maybe. 
Were you even worth it in his eyes for a search party? You wondered if he cared enough that you disappeared. 
But that was a stupid, childish thought you knew you fantasized about a lot — perhaps this was why he’d called you immature. This was no mindset for a strong, independent, confident hunter. The thought father was right, even a miniscule bit was bitter on your tongue, worse than what he called black coffee. 
Disappearing so you’d find out just how much he cared was unfair to mom, for one. 
She had lost so much in such a short amount of time, the stories she sang poignantly about were hard to listen to without tearing up. Her home. The trees of voices, all the lost ancestors. Her father. Uncle Tsu’tey. Her first ikran, Seze. Loss upon loss you think there’d be nothing left to give anymore, but sky people’s fire was always hungry, always willing to waste more to grow bigger. 
You wouldn’t forgive yourself for making her cry in your pursuit to punish father. Never. 
You weren’t a child.
Just wanted to be one, sometimes.
Wanted father to babytalk you, pet your head longer than a passing touch as he walked away hurriedly to attend to other matters, make beads for your braids the way he always did from pretty stones he found on ponds, carve you little trinkets when you graciously had to give up your toys to Lo’ak and Kiri’s greed. 
Your neck piece was all them in fact, he’d see it if he ever paid enough attention, or perhaps it was all insignificant to him, five kids meant countless belongings for each individual child had been passed down from his hands, it would be a miracle for father to recognize you still wore his clumsy creations. But again, it had been too long since he’d even looked at you affectionately, he wouldn’t See. 
He’d transferred those habits entirely to Neteyam at one point in time. 
Your older brother would always ruffle Lo’ak’s hair and tease him the way father used to, comfort him in his own playful way, and even though the younger looked discontent at being babied, you knew he was happy Neteyam was quite literally his shadow to look after him through tough times — including shielding from father’s line of fire. In return, he was suffering from being a foil to the older son, you understood the struggle because you were going through the same comparison, you just weren’t obsessed with catching and living up to father as much as Lo’ak did. 
Win some, lose some, I guess.
Plus, Neteyam was trembling under the massive planet-weight pressure, he had to set the standard, he had to live up to the older brother title. He was becoming more of a father figure to Tuk as days passed and the Olo’eyktan became more transparent from his family’s life as a dad to five. 
Besides, Lo’ak made trouble enough for two people to go around that you felt bad for your big brother, Kiri was thankfully more mellow (despite frequently hanging out together with him and Spider) compared to him that Neteyam could breathe, not having to divide his attention. 
You were in awe of her about how disconnected she was from all the changing dynamics. She had her own problems you could never understand, more spiritual than your grandmother, and ever the ethereal soul who you thought would disappear into Eywa if flesh wasn’t holding her down to Eywa’eveng.
You were the teeniest, tiniest bit jealous of her (and Tuk) holding the softer sides of father, the boys thought he was deliberately softer because they were girls — but you were also a girl, so why weren’t you allowed in?   
Well, thanks to that, you’d gotten closer with Neteyam and known him better after the whole clan had settled on High Camp, so it wasn’t all that bad. You could badmouth father all day long sitting on some rock and make him laugh abashedly, guilty that he was smiling along with the trashing of the father’s name he respected so much — it was therapy, as Norm had taught humans frequently sought back on earth. It got you trying some things with Neteyam, becoming more of a companion and ranting buddy for him who he could be honest and open with, so that he didn’t have to worry about taking up a larger role in your life to fill father’s missing presence. You were concerned about him more than he could be concerned about you. 
That got you contemplating if father had noticed how comfortable his two oldest children were with each other that it was always Neteyam who he sent after you. A girl could dream, no? For one moment, it wasn’t because it was Neteyam’s responsibility, but because father was paying attention to how his kids got along.
The image of him pushed you to be frantically fast to reach your destination as the fear returned with might. If he caught you right now when you had no ikran to prove him wrong, the punishment he was sure to give would be way more humiliating, you at least wanted something in your name to taunt him with if you were going down anyways. 
A smile crept up your face at imagining him discombobulated and speechless, unable to pick out one thing that you did wrong. 
The carelessness that came with your speed combined with how dark it was to see where to clutch and put your feet on caused you to slip up countless times when climbing, the sharp rocks scraping the insides of your palms and insides of your forearms, lifting your skin up. What you cared about more than the pain was that the blood was now tracking material for your family to sniff you out — you couldn’t exactly wipe the rocks clean, so you carried on with a hammering heart, more afraid of father ruining your perfect moment than whatever ikran that would soon be going straight for your throat. 
At least you were able to wash the blood off your hands in the waterfall. 
Downside? You couldn’t see shit. With your bare back flushed straight to the wall of rock and your feet feeling out the thin edge, the shrill cry of ikrans and the roaring of water was about to overwhelm your senses too much to pay attention — 
and you slipped. 
The shriek that ripped out of you at the sensation of falling and the drop of your stomach alone almost made you pass out, and for a split second it was a good thing that you wouldn’t feel the moment you died, but your body, once again, was one step ahead of you, it twisted in the air the last second and your hands gripped the ledge. 
The wet rock and your blood made all that your life was hanging on slippery as you dangled into the abyss, swaying with the strong winds at this height. 
You didn’t know if it was the adrenaline or the nervousness, but something made you laugh out loud, and the bubbling laughter continued until you were able to pull yourself up safely at the ikran rookery, finally. 
Looking around like a fish out of water, how you hadn’t cracked your skull open shooting down to the forest below was a total miracle. 
You’d made it?  
No one was there to witness what you just pulled off in total darkness. Your whole body was shaking, and you weren’t even chosen by an ikran yet. This was happening. Shit. This was totally happening! 
Your excited and terrified, “Hell yeah!” went unheard apart from your aerial crowd. 
But. 
One among them answered your holler with its own that cut into the night like a battle horn. It was the closest one to you that was apparently watching you the whole time, starting to roar at you and twitching on its feet, shadow in the night informing you of its movements.
You’d seen from Neteyam and Lo’ak’s iknimayas that you only had a few seconds to pull your shit together until it attacked, this was meant to be dangerous, serious, you could end up as a late night snack to them if things went wrong, but you couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear that it had chosen you.
You were chosen. 
It wanted you as its rider. 
If only father could see you now. The sensation of being the one — being special was unmatched. Now you could somehow get the fraction of the high he must have felt as Toruk Makto.  
The, “Let’s fucking go!” that left you kept echoing into the night as you lunged at it, dodging to the left when it snapped at your head, hooking one arm around the ikran’s slender neck and clamping your legs around it the moment it started thrashing around wildly. 
You didn’t know why father had made a big deal out of it. You formed tsaheylu in no time, breaking Neteyam’s record — and you didn’t even have the rope to hoop around its neck and jaw. 
Firstborn daughter excellence. 
Confidence restored and triumphing wildly to the pulse of your heart, the flickering smile on your face in wonder turned into a full-fledged smirk. At that moment, nothing mattered. It was just you and your victory. Proving father wrong. 
Feeling the ikran’s lifeforce through the bond, a shiver went down your back as his beady eye looked up at you, pupil shrinking and expanding rapidly while you both took a minute to catch your breaths after the fierce wrestling. 
“Gotcha,” you panted. “You’re mine now.”
The adrenaline made everything sparkle and shine, your spirits soaring high and unbothered about literally anything else in the world, and for one glorious moment, lost in the memories of your brothers’ iknimayas boasting with cheers from the clan and sometimes encouraging, sometimes fearful screams of your parents, your spirit sought them out to be soaked in the same pride — forgetting that it was night and nobody was there to celebrate you. 
You were all alone. 
The smile dropped from your face and crashed down like paper thin porcelain upon the slightest movement. 
Right. 
You’d forgotten you were doing this out of spite. It snuffed every twinkle of magic away from the previously shimmering milestone of your life. 
Your ikran felt the crushing disappointment through your connection and chirped at you, almost like an excited sibling pulling on your arm to show you something, weirdly comforting. Mom’s ikran was a spitfire, but also nurturing — this one felt different somehow, you felt him bouncing from wall to wall in your head, hyperactive and cheerful.
Flying! He wanted to fly! 
The first flight sealed the bond, after all. 
You weren’t alone even if none of your family members were here to share the joy — you had your new buddy. And the drop of gravity was thrilling this time, not the terrifying chaos that had your asshole shriveling up as it was when you’d missed your step. 
The flights with mom were something you looked forward to, drying up in frequency as you aged, you’d missed the wind on your body and the greenery dancing below as you maneuvered in the air — but mom reserved nighttime rides for father only, and after the move to High Camp, the skimpering chance you could get your way if you begged cutely enough was gone too. You’d never flown at night. 
The sight was out of this world. The stars leaving a glowing trail above you, the forest pulsing with faint purple, green and blue lights underneath, everything was elevated in beauty because darkness let them shine. 
You made loops in the air with your ikran, got as high in the air as you could before your breath thinned, and scraped at the tips of trees before shooting up again, all the while laughter you’ve never screamed before bubbled out of you. 
And you were all alone. There was no mom to gleefully taunt your ikran with hers to get both of you dancing in the air. There was no father to watch on with a small smile he was fighting. There was no Neteyam to stop you from dipping too close to the ground, and no Lo’ak to challenge you to get closer to race with him — no Kiri to complain how all of you were being so childish, how stupid this was all the while she was the worst of you all, instigating all the chaos. 
No Tuk in your mom’s lap whining about you guys leaving her off the fun. 
Instead, there was the scent of a bogey in the air, snapping you out of the haze of sorrow.
When had you ventured out further into unprotected territory? 
Linked with your thought process, the ikran stopped advancing forward and started beating his wings downward to stay unmoving, you observed the surroundings to get a better feeling of where you were, and noticed this was around the old shack, artificial lights were gliding between the leaves and branches that obscured your view of just who was roaming the grounds at night, definitely not a natural part of the forest’s flora.    
Father’s voice materialized in your head, drilled into you and your siblings’ heads over and over again. If you come across any threat at all, do not engage, fall back and inform me. Got it? You call for me first.
And that split second of being afraid was your death sentence — that father would be so angry at you for your ignorance, amateurism, carelessness and idiocy that he could throw you out of the family for almost leading the demons to base simply by being there that they could figure out what direction you’d come from. That moment of weakness was enough for someone to snipe you out, and get you falling down from your ikran straight into the forest below, the cries of your new friend falling silent on your ears as you did your best to hug giant leaves to cushion your fall to the best of your ability. . 
 Barely any time was left for you to shake the disorienting motion sickness off, you couldn’t even attempt to run into the accepting, protective hands of the forest before whoever just shot at you was onto you, harshly gripping your arms and raising you up. 
Father’s gonna be so mad if he finds out. Shit, I gotta get out of this. 
But… Avatars? In full camo, armored, even. You hadn’t heard of this from anybody in camp!
“Damn! Didn’t actually think you’d be able to land the shot from all of that tree, man! Up-top!”
Two of them high-fived, you were actually going to be sick. 
Thumb between his belt and stomach, another Avatar strutted towards you. The saunter and confidence meant that he was their leader. “Now, now… What do we have here?”
“A native.” You were being pushed down on your knees, one hand being grabbed and shown like a trophy. Just how many were there? You couldn't calm yourself enough to focus! “Four fingers.”
The speaker this time was a woman. “How unusual. Those monkeys don’t leave their coven at night.” 
“Where were you flying, little bird?” The leader, a sleazy smirk on his face, leaned down to take a good look at you. “Leading away from the nest, perhaps?”
“She don’t understand, Colonel, don’t bother. Ya think Sully could ever manage teaching one word of English to those?”
“Watch how she learns in three seconds.” He yanked on your queue so hard you saw white light in this hour of darkness — and when your vision came back, a screen with your father’s face was being shoved to your face. “Jake Sully. Toruc Mactoe. Where is he?”
You screamed when he pulled with increasing strength, keeping up with the act you didn’t understand. And the state of pain and terror massively helped, contributing to you looking frantic and lost, only knowing that you were being zapped to your core. 
“Seems like I don’t need to ask you.” His fingers snapped your head back to get a good look at your earpiece, late to notice you had it on at all because of the dark. “Can directly ask the man himself.” 
All you could form to think was, ‘Father’s gonna kill me for this. He’s actually gonna kill me this time.’
You weren't terrified of what the Avatars would do to you. You were afraid of him.
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One empty shell from the reloaded machine gun flew away, tinkling hollow when it fell down, and rolled until it stopped in a small pool of water that had formed on the jagged ground of the cave systems. In the scarlet and orange glow of the campfire he’d haphazardly put together right outside of their home out of impatience after Neytiri had basically thrown him out, Jake almost mistook the liquid for blood. 
An ominous cloud of dread settled on his shoulders, a paranoia every father tended to go through.
“Big Brother, this is Devil Dog. State your status, over.”
Neteyam didn’t miss a beat to answer, thankfully. “Devil Dog, this is Big Brother. I’m still en route to Foxcove, over.”
“How much longer?”
“Ten minutes at best, sir. Over.”
What he wanted to say was how come he hadn’t met you halfway, but it was empty talk. No need to stress the boy out. “Devil Dog signing out.”
This girl was half the reason for the wrinkles on his forehead, Jesus Christ. He was basically waiting you out like a father sitting in the dark to ambush his daughter who had snuck out at night, for that single glorious moment of yeah that’s right, you got caught, after the light would come on to ruin that moment of relief of successfully making it back in. 
His mate had scolded him to be nice and understanding, a Marine was anything but, the closest he could compromise was not being as mean to you than he had to be. Sassing, “So how was your Iknimaya?” like he planned was out the window — Neytiri was spot-on to say the girl would simply give the same mean energy right back at him, and that could only mean another erupting volcano of a fight and a good night’s sleep ruined for him, overthinking where he went wrong and how else he could have salvaged the situation. 
He’d just make you tend to the ikrans for a week for some patience practice, cleaning shit for hours on a daily basis would certainly throw the temporary whim of the rite of passage hyperfixation out of your system. The possibility of you shouting you hated him was unavoidable, but Jake had to get his point across, no matter how terribly it nauseated him to hear something like that from his child. 
It was strange to remember he couldn’t care less for what people thought of him in the past. Some shithead he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about hated Jake’s guts? Good. He was living in their head rent free, it was fun even — Neytiri too, Jake absolutely enjoyed her hating game at first. 
Being legitimately resented by his very own child, though, was a heartbreak he didn’t expect to hurt him the way it did, knocking air off his lungs the first time he heard it. A burning stab right in his heart that wouldn’t go away until he had to hear it for himself you hadn’t meant any of what you said.
Because that said hate actually stemmed from hurt Jake must have inflicted. Because you could actually despise him, and never allow him to reconnect with you again if he could ever manage to garner the courage to reach out to you — a mightier challenge than hunting Toruk in the sense it actually scared him.   
His teenage daughter. Scared him. 
Jake didn’t know what to do about it, he couldn’t even show what exactly this made him feel, too ashamed and proud for it in the first place. 
The growing distance between you and him was an uneasy, frightened bird he tried to shush and calm in his heart in favor of other pressing matters that drilled small holes in the depths of his stomach, and over time, those little holes had fused together to create one big pit with greater gravitational pull than the sun — until Jake didn’t know how to stitch them back together anymore. 
He told himself he would talk to you later, for sure. The morning after every argument, every fight, every jab from you he snapped at he would try to make amends for, definitely. 
And then he didn’t. 
“What is this, are you palulukan ambushing prey? I told you to make up with her, not prepare for hunting.”
Jake shook his head, dropping the machine gun back inside the crate. The warmed metal was some sort of consolation to his nerves. Marine habit. Always felt safer with a gun near. (Or was it the American in him?) “Neytiri,” he acknowledged, bobbing his head. “I’m just passing time.”
“What do you think will happen when she comes back and sees you waiting for her like this?”
Ah, like the old times when Jake couldn’t do one thing right in her eyes. “Yes, ma’am,” he said playfully, but with no mirth behind it, closing the crate with a muffled thunk. With nothing to do with them, one elbow went to his knee and the other hand’s fingers started a rhythm on the lid he’d just shut. 
His mate’s hand gingerly came down on his shoulder, kneading the nerves. “Just talk to her, Ma’Jake.”
“I don’t know how to,” he admitted, he covered her fingers on her shoulder with his, and she immediately held his hand back. “Don’t know what to even tell her.” He gave an exhale from the deeper, tired parts of his soul, gazing at the path leading away from their tent. “With Neteyam and Lo’ak, it’s easy. I tell ‘em what to do and they—”
Neytiri took a seat next to him, gathering their hands together. “Suffer just the same.” Jake was about to brush her off, but she didn’t relent. “What you’re doing is hurting them.”
This now was about all of their children rather than you, specifically. Neytiri was trying to get him to see the bigger picture first before moving to cover what he did wrong with each child of his, they had had this conversation countless times before. 
Here we go again, Jake thought.
“Doesn’t matter if that’s what it takes to keep them safe.”
“Does it?” Neytiri leaned in, and calmness washed over him despite the disturbing nature of what she was saying. “Does it keep them safe? Or push them to act out more, get in worse situations?”
He grimaced. “I have to—”
“You feel like you have to.” His mate shook their clasped hands, rattling his bones. “I keep my children safe with trust and honesty. Transparence, Ma’Jake. So that they listen to me when I mean it because they See me. You shut them out.” Her lips bared to show her pearly teeth as she was practically beseeching him. “You don’t get your children’s trust by treating them like a squad.”
“They trust me plenty.”
“They trust Olo’eyktan. Toruk Makto. What about their father?”
“I make sure they’re safe.” Neytiri dropped his hands with an agitated snarl, she thought they were back at the beginning again, he couldn’t make her truly understand no matter what he did. He poured his heart out through their tsaheylu everytime, but her values and beliefs were wired so differently from his at the end of the day. “I make sure they stay where I want them to stay for their own good.” Jake shook his head, his voice soft, hushed. No force behind it when Neytiri was heated in return. “One day they’ll understand.”
“They won’t if you never tell them.”
“Tell them what?” Jake asked. “That I’m being harsh on them to prepare them for war? You think they’ll take it seriously after this?”
“Na’vi were in war long before you. There will be wars after you. No parent sullied his child’s happiness for the price of becoming a warrior. You still don’t get our ways even after all these years.” 
“The sky people’s way,” Jake emphasized with his arms. “I have to teach them how they think, what they go through, so they know what they’ll be facing, okay? I can’t simply teach them by telling them.”
“You’re deluding yourself, Jake. Contradicting.” Neytiri was gentle in her cruelty, the flickering flames burned less than her amber eyes. “Tuk and Kiri are getting none of this. I know your heart isn’t allowing you. Why can’t you do the same for your other children?”
Because he had gone too far already with the older three. 
Trial and error. 
He couldn’t take back the things he did and say back — and quite honestly? Jake was being pulled from all sides to sit down and rethink his parenting. All he thought anymore was how to protect his family, frequent nightmares of losing his children in gruesome ways were haunting his every step. 
A father protects his children, that’s what gives him meaning. 
Jake had his own desperate ways to do so.  
He opened his mouth to say something back, anything, but was interrupted by the communication line coming on. “Dad.” 
Jake immediately knew something was wrong, body sitting ramrod straight. If the frantic breathing and barely controlled voice wasn’t any indication of it, his eldest’s behavior was. Neteyam didn’t slip up in the codenames like Lo’ak did, dropped all formalities only when he was borderline panicking.  
“Dad. I’m sorry, dad, sir, I can’t find her, dad, I’ve looked everywhere around here, I thought maybe she was hiding underwater, behind rocks—but I can’t, I can’t—.”
“Slow down.” Jake could barely contain his own panic rising from the state his son was in. The boy wasn’t able to see it, but he couldn’t stop himself from leaning in as if Neteyam was right in front of him, and started gesturing with his hand. “Slow down, son.”
“Dad—”
Jake tsk-ed. “Neteyam, slow. Slow.”
Neytiri took his elbow. “What is it?”
He told her to wait with his gaze, and turned his attention back to Neteyam. This could only mean one thing, he was praying to be wrong — needed clarification. “Now tell me calmer. What’s going on?”
“She’s never been here. She never came here in the first place. There’s no sign of her. No trace. I’ve tracked.”
Jake’s instant response was fear. Domineering, ice-cold, cutting fear. Bodily and emotionally both. You were clockwork, similar to him in having unchanging routines and patterns. Angry? Went for a walk. Depressed? No talking to anyone until it passed. Happy? Wanted to go to the forest to spend time with your siblings and always craved sweet fruit. Didn’t want to be around anyone? Hid in the little bioluminescent cove with a pond two little mountains away, always. Always.  
Neytiri sensed this, observing the change of demeanor in him.“Ma’Jake?”
“Okay, son.” He seized back control. One missing child was enough. “Stay right there and don’t move. I’ll contact you.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Jake,” Neytiri hissed finally, at the end of her ropes.
“She didn’t go to the cove,” he said, face icy neutral as always, but his eyes showed dizzying concern. Neytiri put a hand on her mouth as Jake wasted no time in changing channels. “Night Owl, this is Devil Dog. Come in.” He couldn’t even wait two seconds before trying again. “Night Owl, what is your status? Where are you?” 
Silence.
The more fear dug deeper into his skin, the more his anger and annoyance soared up, his tail was whipping the air erratically, the finger on the earpiece could send the metal right into his brain with how hard he was pressing on it. “I know you can hear me. This is no time for playing games. You know what you did to your brother? Do you know how panicked he was, not being able to find you—” 
Then Jake remembered what Neytiri advised, he didn’t change strategies because she was right next to him to dig his eyes out, but because his heart was picking up its pace by the second. “Tell me where you are, I’ll leave you alone, I promise, alright? If you’re somewhere open, get to safety, I’m only asking this from you. Or else—”
“Don’t.” Neytiri raised a warning finger at him, voice just above a whisper so they could hear their daughter if she decided to cut in. “Threaten her.”
He couldn’t stop her from snatching the communication device off of him. “Ma’ite, it’s mom. Can you talk to me at least?”
His ears twitched at picking up on you responding, not quite making out the words.  
Jake’s eyes shut close for a long time as his whole eyebrow line migrated upwards, he physically had to get a few steps between him and the earpiece so the obliviating worry that’d almost blinded him wouldn’t cause him to say something he’d greatly regret later. He could feel himself deflating. A migraine could be coming anytime soon.
You wouldn’t even acknowledge his existence but the moment your mother interrupted, you did? Fine. Fine. He didn’t care. Jake could live with it. At least you were alive.
A rippling shudder shook him the moment that thought hit him, an image of you lying dead in a ditch, pale blue, flashing in his mind, he had to run a hand down his face. 
When Jake looked back, irked by the silence, he found Neytiri standing completely stock-still. And all of a sudden, her petrifying glare was on him, ears pinned all the way back, hands gradually starting to tremble. 
“Neytiri?” 
She wordlessly handed him the device, and with a deep frown, Jake put it back in his ear. 
“Hi there Corporal, you hear me? Yeah, I know you do. As much as I’m charmed by the fatherly love I could give you a big old sloppy wet kiss, we have unfinished business.”
And the ground disappeared right under Jake’s feet, plunging him into hell itself.
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lokis-army-77 · 7 months
Text
A New Purchase
Eddie Munson x fem reader
Word Count: 1.6k
When you come home only to discover your boyfriend has bought something completely ridiculous.
Warning: 18+. p in v, riding.
Here's the little thing we talked about the other day @munson-blurbs @lofaewrites @chrissymjstan @hellfire--cult (it isn't as good as I think it could be but oh well)
Masterlist
Eddie was almost giddy with excitement when he saw the Facebook marketplace posting. The aluminum body was a bit rusted and the inside fabric was also questionably stained but hey it was a decoration for three hundred dollars and local pickup, hell yes, he was buying it. 
The only thing Eddie didn’t realize was that it wasn’t a small decoration. No…  it was real and he had no clue where he was going to store it until Halloween. Then came the brilliant idea of testing it out. He only wanted to know what it would be like to lie there, how comfortable would it be?
That’s how you came to find Eddie lying in a casket in the middle of your living room.
Walking through the door you stop suddenly, as the small walkway between the wall and the back of the couch is blocked. Eddie is lying there, eyes closed and hands crossed over his chest. 
“Eddie, what the fuck are you doing?” 
He can’t help the grin that paints his once stoic features. He squints open his eyes as he begins to laugh. “I’m testing out my new purchase. Do you like it?”
You sigh and whip your hand over your face, shaking your head. “What on Earth possessed you to buy a casket? Wait, hang on, where did you buy a casket?”
He sits up, resting an arm on the side, and goes into his explanation. “You are never gonna believe it, fucking Facebook Marketplace. It was so cheap and to be honest I thought it was a fake one that would have been maybe a foot or two tall but nope. Imagine my surprise when I get to this guy's house and he rolls this baby out. He slaps the side panel for emphasis. He even threw in the church trucks for free so it would be really easy to move around.”
You just chuckle and shake your head. “Okay, then why did you buy it?”
“I figured we could use it to decorate for Halloween and also because when I saw it was actually real I just had to test it out. Take it for a test drive before I actually do kick the bucket.” He said it so seriously like it was the most obvious reason in the world.
“Eddie, really?”
“Oh, come on babe, like you’ve never thought about laying down in one of these bad boys.” 
“Contrary to what you might believe, no, no I haven't.” 
Eddie reaches out then, making a child-like gesture of opening and closing his hand. You walk forward and curl your fingers around his. “Switch places with me, see how it feels.”
“No, I’m not getting in there.” You laugh.
“Why not? Do you really want the first time you experience this to be when you’re dead? You won’t even know if it's uncomfortable or not.” He pulls you forward even more. 
“Eddie no-”
“Come on… If you won’t switch then get in with me.” 
You give in, sighing playfully as you bend down and crawl into the cramped casket. Eddie tries his best to shift over so you have space, but the area inside is only so big and definitely was never intended for two.
You both are laughing when your knee suddenly loses its steadiness, atop the thin, almost non-existent padding layered over the metal bottom, and slides out from under you and you fall on top of Eddie’s chest with an “oomph”.  You look up and you catch a glint in his eye as they darken just a bit. 
It’s a familiar look, one that he has given you so many times no matter the situation or surroundings. A look that he knows you will give into. 
“Don’t look at me like that.” You plead with him, knowing where this will end. 
Eddie looks at you, eyebrows raised in faux confusion. “I’m not looking at you in any particular way, Sweetheart.”
You slap his chest playfully. “Eddie you are giving me your ‘I want sex’ eyes and I am not going to, not here.”
“Baby,” He wines. “Come on. It’ll be sexy. We could even role-play as vampires.” 
“No-”
“Please.” Eddie reaches his hand to cup your cheek, pleading softly as he brings his face closer to yours. You are trying to fight it but you know you can’t and Eddie knows too. As soon as he looked at you with those sultry brown eyes, you were plyant in his grasp.
When his lips press into yours, you sigh, relaxing into him. Your fingers curl into his shirt and you inch up, caging his hips between your thighs. It hasn’t even been thirty seconds from when the kiss started and you can already feel him hardening under you. 
Pulling away, you mumble into him, lips barely touching. “Does it really turn you on thinking of fucking here?” 
Eddie nods and surges forward to reconnect your mouths. His tongue flits past your lips and finds its way inside, caressing your own. 
You're barely-there resolve crumbles as you begin to roll your hips into him. You can feel his hard length as you grind, his breath catches in his throat. 
"Fuck baby," he mumbles against your lips.  "Need to feel you around me."
There is a heat coursing through you, clouding your mind as your fingers begin to unbutton his pants. 
Eddie is eager, his hips press up into your hands, pushing you to free him faster. The blue cotton of his boxers has turned a deeper color in a small spot where the head of his cock rests, the precum there being soaked up by the cloth. 
You slide a nail up his covered shaft and a great shiver overtakes his body under you. "Don't tease me- please."
A chuckle bubbles out of you. "But that's the fun part." 
Eddie just whimpers in response. 
You begin pushing your fingers past the elastic waistband. You pull the fabric down and bring your other hand up to help situate both his pants and boxers down to his mid-thigh.
His cock springs forward and you can't help the feeling of absolute lust coursing through your veins. You need him inside you, now. 
You silently thank your past self for deciding to wear a dress today. In your need, you don't think you would be able to wrangle yourself out of a pair of pants. 
Firmly you take Eddie's cock into your hand. He hisses at the new pressure you ar editing him. 
"Fuck baby, just like that." His hips jump into your touch. 
"Gonna let me fuck myself on you? Gonna let me take what I want?"
Eddie only nods. Words have left him as he stares into your sultry gaze. 
You begin to stroke him, up and down, spreading the stickiness leaking from his tip with your thumb. 
Then, you begin to scoot up his body. Hovering over him. Eddie watches in awe as you take him up in one hand and move your panties over with the other. A slow moan releases itself from your as you begin to sink down on him.
Eddie's cock was perfect. It always felt so good to be wearied around him, his head pushing deeper into you. 
Both of your breathing is labored. You try to keep yourself calm, you don't want to rush into riding him, you want to take your time making each of you feel wonderful. Eddie. On the other hand, is trying not to combust as he lays there and watches.
The way your dress is hiked up around your beautifully, thick thighs, how his cock disappears into you, surrounded by a curly thatch of hair. 
God he loved you. It was the only way to explain why his heart was beating out his chest. 
You groan as you feel him entering you. There is a slight burn as you stretch around him. Slowly, you begin to move your hips. Eddie starts to make choked noises and his hands reach out to grab you. His fingers grip your hips, helping you grind into him. Your own hands grasp at his covered stomach. 
There was an ache building as you moved. Low in the depth of your stomach and it began to grow. The more you fucked yourself onto Eddie the more the ache was felt. IT had you clenching down around him. You cunt milking his cock of everything he could give you.  
Eddie’s hands caress your body. When his fingertips touch skin, it's like an electric shock goes through you. 
“Eddie-” You moan.
“I know, love.” He mummers. 
“Can feel you so deep.” You grind harder, shivering as your clit rubs against his pubic bone. “Need more.”
“Yeah? Take it, baby, take anything you want.” 
You catch Eddie’s hands and guide them up under your dress and to your breasts. 
He hums in approval as he pushes your bra down and begins to play with your nipples, pinching and pulling them slightly.
Your head lolls to the side, hair falling down around you. It’s taking so much energy for you to keep moving. Your legs are beginning to tire out, there is a sting in your muscles. Your knees are screaming at you as they dig into the not-so-comfortable foam at the bottom of the casket. 
Body becoming rigid, you cry out, moaning Eddie’s name loudly into the living room. Your fingers cling to him as your body caves into him. You can no longer keep moving so Eddie begins bucking his hips into yours, helping you to ride out this high and bring him to his own. 
Eddie lets you fall almost completely on top of him once he’s finished. His arms wrap around you, your breaths in sync with the other. 
As you rest your forehead on Eddie’s chest, you feel the tiny movement of him jerking. He’s trying not to laugh. 
You crane your neck to look up at him. “What?” 
He shakes his head. 
“Eddie.” 
“Nothing, just that we fucked in a casket.” His smile was as wide as could be,
You let your head fall and you laugh into his chest. “Don’t get used to it.”
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saksukei · 8 months
Text
saving simon ghost riley’s life
masterlist | angst, injury mentions, he's being a bitch
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they say some instincts are good, some are bad. yours have landed you in hell though.
being part of task force 141 had its own perks which included borderline deadly missions, a whole lot of adrenaline and a shit ton of risk taking. so that's exactly what you did when you saw a gun aimed at your lieutenant, more specifically, simon ghost riley.
you jumped in front of the gun without any hesitation, disobeying his orders to stay put. he was your senior, someone you definitely respected and looked up to. you were absolutely okay with letting yourself get injured for him. something about loyalty, right?
“a word, sergeant,” he interrupted your train of thought, his presence overwhelming the nurses present in the med bay as they stitched your wound.
“yes sir?” you thought he was gonna thank you for saving his life. apparently, he had other plans.
“who gave you the fucking right to disobey my orders?” he growls, his eyes piercing through your very soul. you imagine what it would be like if he didn't have his mask on, the very mask that is acting as a shelter from his rage.
you blink in confusion. “i beg your pardon, sir?”
“i said, who gave you the right to disobey my orders?” he repeated, his tone stern.
“i–sorry lieutenant,” you reply curtly, confused at his rude behavior. but then again, simon isn't known for his niceness.
“sorry isn't going to cut you the slack,” he retorts, voice laced with venom. “you are going to be reprimanded for failing to comply with your superior’s orders to stay put.”
and while you desperately want to argue, give him an explanation or maybe yell at him that you did save his life, you ignore and nod.
“i don’t hear a reply sergeant,” his voice booms.
“affirmative sir.”
with that he walks out.
the next couple of days are hell. rather than being treated like someone of your rank, the lieutenant decides to treat you like a rookie, making you run almost triple the amount of drills, ignoring the fact that you’ve had an injury.
when captain price decides to finally intervene on your behalf, he promptly replies about how insubordination must be set straight and that he's doing this his own way. soap and kyle both also try to intervene, but they can't seem to change the lieutenant’s mind.
you don't seem to fight it either, just silently accepting whatever task he's given. you know that there's really no room for disagreement given your current circumstances.
today he had pushed you too much though. drained, as you went back to your room, collapsing on whatever shit excuse of a bed you had. you couldn't even get up. the three firm and calculated knocks you heard on your door made you groan. who the hell was it at this ungodly hour?
“come in,” you yell out.
and in walks the man you've been dreading to see the most. the lieutenant himself.
you immediately stand up and salute him, ignoring the pain your body is in.
“at ease,” he mutters, as you sit down on your bed. the air is awkward between you to say the least, but boy does it get worse, when the lieutenant kneels and lowers himself right at your feet.
“what the hell–lieutenant?” you question.
“quiet,” he orders, his tone stern. you have no choice but to comply and watch, as he takes out a bandage from his side pocket. “your feet are bruised,” he mutters. why was he acting like he didn't know the reason? that he had been making you run triple the amounts you normally do.
“permission to say something grossly insubordinate sir?” you ask, trying to control your seething anger. what the fuck is his problem?
he nods.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?” you yell and it catches him off guard, his warm green eyes meeting yours. “first you punish me for saving your life, make mine a literal hell and then you come in here and act like you care?” your voice raises without you even realizing.
he sighs. he doesn't have a response. you're right. he has been in the wrong but he didn't intend to punish you that far. it just sort of happened. he was so angry, not with your disobedience of course, but because of the fact that he had missed a corner and let you get hurt. he was at war with himself on this one.
so simon does what he does best, ignore your anger filled speech and continues bandaging your feet.
“s–stop it,” you try and push him away. he doesn't budge and you feel yourself reduced to tears. when he does look up and see your eyes coated with them, he stops and says words he hasn't said to anyone in years.
“m’ sorry,” he admits, softly. tears begin to slide down your face, no matter how much you try and hold them back.
and out of instinct, simon reaches out. for the first time, simon riley scoops up someone into his arms, rubbing your back, muttering a thousand apologies for his behavior. god, it would be better if you had let him get shot that day, than seeing you cry like this.
he had made you cry.
“m’ really sorry,” he whispers in your ear. “i was just so upset that you got hurt because of my stupidity, sweetheart,” he tries to explain but his persona is crumbling. he's been so unmerciful to you. “i was wrong, so wrong for doing this,” he repeats again. how could he be so rude to someone he loves so dearly?
he keeps you in his arms. his hand, running through your hair, with his gloves long discard at the side.
you mutter something about how bad it is for you to be crying in the arms of your lieutenant and he tuts, saying that firstly, you should call him simon, and secondly, you can cry as much as you want.
you’re the only one he wants in his arms anyway.
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targaeryxn · 1 year
Text
wet dreams (pt. 2)
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♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
pairing: eddie munson x female mean!cheerleader!reader
summary: after being fingered in class by eddie, you go to his trailer to tell him off
warnings: smut, dry humping, switch!eddie, switch!reader, mean!reader, oral (f receiving), protected p in v, angry sex at the beginning, biting
part one
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
You stood in front of his trailer door, fuming and blushing as your fists banged against it.
“Open up, freak!”
You heard rustling and the sound of something heavy falling, followed by a groan, from the other side of the door before it opened to revel the object of your anger. He wasn’t wearing that old Hellfire Club you were used to see him wear, but rather some metal band from the looks of it. His hair was messy as always, but his cheeks were pink, and he was slightly breathless. What was he doing before you arrived?
“The queen of Hawkins High appears in my doorstep. Are you lost?” Eddie teased, leaning to the side of the door.
You didn’t know if you were angry or still horny, or both. You just knew you were confused, and wanted some explanations now.
“Who do you think you are to… do that to me?”
"Do what?"
"Touch me!"
His eyebrows rose as he let out a small laugh. "Okay, since the lady insists."
"No, you idiot!" You blushed furiously, remembering how his touch felt. It wouldn't be such a bad idea, actually...
He looked at you with a boyish look on his face. "You know what, you never told me what we did in your dream."
"And I'll never tell you." You furrowed your eyebrows. "I just came to tell you to never do that again."
He took a few steps closer to you, to the point you had to crane your neck up to meet his eyes. The scent of cigarettes invaded your nostrils, normally you’d bitch about how bad that smell was and that smoking kills, but now it wasn’t so unpleasant coming from him. His hand slowly rose, and you followed the movement with your eyes in slow motion, almost scared as to what he would do now with his perfect fingers, but he just started twirling a lock of your hair around his index finger.
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re really here for, huh? And don’t lie.”
Your breath hitched, but you knew you had to keep your composure. You didn’t come all the way to this shit hole to be at his mercy again.
"I told you already. To tell you that won't happen again." Your voice sounded like you were way more composed than you actually were. You swear you felt your legs quiver at some point.
"You know, I think you're lying. I think you're here because you liked me touching you way too much, and you want more." He gripped your hair, bringing your face impossibly closer to his.
“Tell me to stop.” His lips brushed against yours as he spoke, causing your brain to shut down and you leaned forward, already feeling drunk on him. But your movement was halted when you felt a large hand grip your neck, not hard enough to choke you, but hard enough to wake you up from your daze. “Hey. Tell me to stop.”
“What were you doing before I came here?”
He paused. “What?”
You trailed your hand from his stomach to the waistband of his sweatpants. "Why are you so hard? You think I didn't notice?"
He grunted, eyes closing for a second. "Jesus. You should have a hot cheerleader cum on your fingers, sweetheart. Then you'll understand."
"Were you touching yourself thinking about me?" You palmed his already rock hard bulge, trying to get a little bit of control of the situation. You couldn't deny anymore you wanted him, but if you're giving in to your desires, you'd at least be in control. "You're such a freak."
"Fuck you."
You pushed him inside and slammed his front door behind you. His trailer was messy, but you didn't analyze it too much because as soon as you saw a couch there, you shoved Eddie in its direction. You quickly sat on his lap, your panties the only thing separating your cunt from the rough fabric of this sweatpants. His hands gripped your waist as you rubbed yourself against him.
“Don’t forget who you’re talking to.”
His laugh made you shiver. “I should respect the queen, right?”
“Yes, you should.” You lowered your voice to a whisper, and you leaned forward so your lips were close to his ear. “If you want to cum.”
You bit the skin under his ear, receiving a hiss and a jolt from his hips from under you. A moan almost escaped you at the sudden pressure.
“Of course you’re a biter.”
“Something tells me you like it.”
You leaned back to see his flushed face, and the cheeky grin you started to find irresistible. “No offense, my queen, but are you gonna do something or just talk?”
A scoff left your lips as you started moving against him, almost aggressively. You knew it was a lot for the both of you, how rough you were moving your hips against him, but the anger you felt towards him was practically controlling you now, along with your desire. He had his eyes on you the entire time, watching the way you were just taking what you wanted from him.
Of course, he couldn’t handle being good for a few seconds, and he increased the pace by moving your hips with his strong hands. You rested you chin on his shoulder, a breathless moan escaping you. Your panties were still wet from the orgasm he gave you earlier, by now they were probably soaked.
He gripped your hair again, forcing you to look at him as he smashed his lips against yours. Your movement halted for a second, surprised by the sudden kiss. You knew it was stupid to be shocked by him kissing you while he’d already made you cum once, and was on his way to do it twice, but it seemed like a weirdly intimate gesture. You didn’t mind, though, it only made you more worked up. Your tongues fought each other for dominance while you tried to get back to your previous task of grinding against him. You lost, and his tongue invaded your mouth. The wet smacking of your lips sounded so obscene that the first signs of your orgasm began to appear.
He must’ve noticed the shift in you, the way your movements started to become sloppy, and he quickly stopped you.
“I already let you have your fun. Now it’s my turn.” He stood up, still holding you against him so you wouldn’t fall. A small yelp of surprise left your lips as he walked to what you believe is his bedroom, and threw you on the mattress. “I don’t know what made you think you had control. It was cute, really.”
His fingers were quick to tear your uniform off you, leaving you only with your underwear. He didn’t even bother taking your bra off, only pushing the cups out of the way as his eyes admired you.
“I thought I was your queen a moment ago.” A shaky breath left you as his lips attacked your chest, avoiding your nipples but kissing everywhere around.
“And I was a freak a moment ago, but would you let a freak do this to you?” His tongue brushed your nipple, before capturing it between his lips and sucking. You couldn’t stop the moans from leaving your mouth, your hand buried itself in his hair as you arched your back, wanting more of him to touch you.
His finger teased your nipple as he sucked on the other, switching nipples when he thought it was enough.
"What were we doing in your dream?" His thigh pressed against your pussy.
“I’m… not telling you.”
"You're not gonna cum until you tell me."
You groaned, trying to switch positions so you were on top but he wouldn’t let you. His hands held yours above your head and he gave a sweet kiss to your pouting lips.
“I’m waiting.” He teased, enjoying the way no matter how much you tried, you’d only have control if he let you.
“Ugh- You were…” Your cheeks were red as you avoided looking at him. “You were eating me out. That’s it.”
“Hmm. That’s what got you so worked up?” He hummed. “Well, who am I do deny a pretty girl her dreams?”
The smirk on his face was almost scary as he pushed your panties down your ankles, his eyes always fixed on the spot between your legs. The look he gave you was the same look a lion would give it’s prey before devouring it. You had no doubt that's exactly what Eddie wanted to do to you.
“Fuck, look at that. She’s beautiful.”
“Did you just refer to my pussy-“
“Shh.” He raised his finger up, shushing you. You’d feel offended, but he was looking at your pussy like it was something that belonged in a museum. "You're dripping, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”
You jerked as you saw him spit on your pussy before smearing his saliva all around with his thumb.
"Eddie!'' You covered your face, attempting to close your legs but he just laughed as he held them open. "You're disgusting!"
He didn't even bother answering you, too focused on playing with your pussy with his thumb. You were starting to feel so hot you practically ripped the bra off of you, which finally made his eyes avert from your pussy to your tits. His free hand cupped your breast and you moaned, overwhelmed by both sensitive areas being stimulated at the same time. When you opened your eyes, which you didn't even realized you had closed, he was staring at you. It almost worried you the fact you don't even remember the last time he blinked.
You didn't break eye contact, you just looked at him while enjoying his hands on you. A grunt left his mouth before he started kissing your lips again. His fingers pinched your clit and a small scream left you.
"Eddie... Please."
"Fuck, you're gonna kill me." He palmed himself through his pants, and just now you realized you were completely naked while he was fully clothed.
"Why are you still wearing this?" You complained, trying to pull his shirt off him. He helped you, tossing it aside and quickly getting his hands on you again. He almost missed the way your eyes darkened while examining his tattoos.
"You like these?"
"Yeah, it makes you look hot."
Eddie's eyebrows shot up, clearly not expecting the compliment. "Wow, the queen of Hawkins High calls me hot. Never thought I'd see the day. What would your loyal subjects say?"
"Stop calling me that." You chuckled, rolling your eyes. Who would have thought? Maybe you were warming up to him after all.
"Isn't that what you are?"
"Well, Munson, are you gonna do something or just talk?" You teased, repeating his words from earlier.
"Fine, but remember you asked for it."
You'd tease him again and ask what he meant, but he suddenly buried his face between your thighs and licked all the wetness coming from you. His tongue was relentless, and so much better than your dream. He moaned in sync with you, loving to see you crack under him. His eyes closed for a second, savoring your taste, but he opened them just as fast. He couldn't miss the sight of you like this.
You couldn't even think. You'd never felt this good before during oral, you had always felt as if men went down on you just so you were wet enough so they could slide in, but Eddie did it as if it was for his own pleasure. He was almost selfish about it, enjoying it in a way you never thought a guy would. You felt two of his fingers entering you and curling to that sensitive spot.
"Yes, Eddie- Fuck!" You moaned. "I'm getting close."
"You gonna cum, baby? Do it, cum for me. Let go."
There's no way you'd ever admit it, but his use of 'baby' made your orgasm come crashing, quicker than you expected. You screamed, squirming away from his mouth by instinct but he wouldn't let you. He kept his mouth on you until every trace of your orgasm was gone and you had to push him away before it was too sensitive.
You were breathless and had your eyes closed, while he caressed your thigh with his thumb and waited for you to recover. "You okay?"
"Don't look so smug."
He let out a soft laugh. "You're not even looking at me."
"Yeah, but I can imagine."
To your surprise, he stayed quiet and just kept comforting you. The hand brushing against your thigh was supposed to be an innocent gesture, but after he gave you one of the best orgasms of your life, his hand only made your body burn. You slowly opened your eyes, expecting to see a smirk, but seeing instead a loving look on him. "What?"
"Nothing," He smiled. Not smirked, but smiled. "Can I keep going?"
You were kind of taken aback by the sudden kindness, but slowly nodded your head. "Yes, please."
Suddenly, the soft look on his face was replaced by a hungry one. "Please? I like hearing that."
His hands left you as he searched through a drawer from his nightstand. While he was looking for what you assumed was a condom, you admired him. Your eyes examined him up and down, from his messy hair to his flushed cheeks, from his chest to his big bulge. You licked your lips while staring at it, maybe if you asked nicely he'd let you play with it.
"Hey, Eddie?"
"Hm?" He sounded frustrated.
"Can I suck you off?"
His actions ceased, and he paused while looking at you, clearly shocked while you tried to give your best puppy eyes. A sound left his lips, something between a moan and a grunt.
"Fuck. As much as I want that, baby, I really need to be inside you."
There's that 'baby' again. He found the condom and stripped himself of his sweatpants so quick you almost didn't notice the little box full of condoms beside you.
"You get a lot of company, Munson?"
"Why? Are you jealous?" His teasing tone made your blood boil. He didn't even look at you, he was focused on freeing his cock and putting the condom on. You were practically drooling at the sight of his thick member, and you were sure a drop of your wetness just ran down your legs.
You took advantage of his distraction and switched positions quickly, shoving him down and getting on top of him. He was surprised for a second until he huffed with a small smile. "Fine. Have your fun for now."
You positioned yourself so his cock was between your lips as you started grinding your hips against him until you practically got him soaked. "Beg."
"Okay, now you're pushing it too far."
"Beg me to let you fuck me."
Eddie's eyes rolled back and he sighed. "Fine, okay. Please, let me fuck you. Please."
His hands gripped your waist, and every second you kept teasing him, his hold on you would get tighter and tighter.
You were enjoying being on top way too much, but you knew better not to tease him so much. He'd definitely try to take control again and you didn't know if you were able to stop him. Honestly, you didn't even know if you would've wanted him to stop. He looked good on top too. You lined the tip of his cock with your entrance, and slowly slid down.
Eddie moaned as loud as you did, throwing his head back against the bed and closing his eyes. "Jesus H. Christ."
You moved up and down while supporting yourself with your hands on his chest, gazing at his every reaction. He looked so submissive that way, completely at your mercy. Your movement was automatic as you leaned in and bit his neck.
One of his hands buried itself in your hair, keeping you close to his neck as you sped up. He started thrusting into you as well, and you were glad he was holding you, because you knew if you were still sitting up, you would've lost balance and fell right on top of him. You released your bite from his neck and left a trail of sloppy kisses until you reached his mouth. You swallowed his moans with a heated kiss.
Once Eddie felt you starting to get tired, he flipped you both so he'd be on top. "My turn now."
He set his own pace now, a lot rougher than when you were on top, but so much better. He was hitting a spot so deep inside you as his hand started to tease your clit relentlessly. You didn't even know sex could feel this good, but the feeling of him sliding in and out of you while he circled your clit with his fingers was enough to make you lose your mind.
"God, Eddie, you feel so good."
"Give it to me, baby. I wanna feel you cum on my cock." His pace quickened. "Can you do that for me?"
You quickly nodded, too dumb to answer with words.
"Good girl." He growled. "Can't even speak, huh? Does it feel that good, baby? Fuck, you're gonna make me cum too."
Just before you came, you grabbed his face and kissed him again. He rod off both of your orgasms, thrusting and playing with your clit while moaning against your mouth. His movements stopped the minute it got too much, and he just laid on top of you, with his head on your shoulder and his cock still inside of you while you both tried to catch your breaths.
"You know, if you weren't such a bitch to me all this time, we would've been doing this for much longer."
You laughed for a minute, before you felt the guilt starting to show itself. "About that... I..." He raised his head to look at you, interested in your next words. "Are you really gonna make me say it?"
"I have no clue what you're talking about."
Liar. The cheeky smile on his face told you all you needed to know. He wanted to hear you say it, and you felt you should say it as well.
"I'm sorry, okay? It's unfair the way people treated you, and I've known it all along. It's just- If you don't agree with them, they can ruin your life. And I'm pretty pleased with mine. But either way, it was unfair to you and it won't happen again." You said it so fast he'd almost missed it.
Eddie hummed, deep in thought.
"Eddie? Say something."
"So are you gonna take me on a date or what?"
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noodlesarecheese · 4 days
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So Watcher is launching a Dropout (it's not called Dropout but they're clearly using the same template format platform thing idk what it's called, and the same pricing structure), and the reaction so far has been wildly different than what I remember from Dropout's launch. I was curious about why that was or if I was just misremembering the Dropout launch, so I went back to the Dropout launch video to compare them and I think I can see where some of the difference is coming from.
If you want to make the comparison yourself: Watcher's Video, Dropout's Video.
I wanna clarify first though that this isn't a knock against Watcher or the fans who are reacting one way or another or anything like that, I genuinely am just fascinated with how different the reactions are to what seems to be the same business decision. This also isn't a 'wow watcher sucks and dropout is so much better' I'm just using them for comparison because they did the same thing with different results. ALSO this isn't about the business decision itself, just the presentation! Disclaimers out of the way, here's the analysis.
Title and Thumbnail So the Watcher.tv announcement video is titled "Goodbye Youtube" and the thumbnail is Ryan, Shane, and Steven sitting on a couch looking serious, with a dark background. That really makes it seem like they're quitting (which, ok, they are quitting youtube but not quitting quitting). Viewers are already primed to be upset, and it's easier to go from upset to angry than upset to excited, curious, or neutral.
Compare to the dropout announcement video: "How the Internet is Ruining Comedy" - inline with other collegehumor video titles, might make you curious. Thumbnail - Big News! with Sam smiling and a bright background. We know its big news, but he looks happy, and the exclamation point let's us know they want us to be excited. Viewers are primed to be curious and excited.
Tone The Watcher announcement has 2 main tones. The first half is very sentimental, almost sad or wistful at times, and while there are parts that veer into pride at achievements, it's mostly bittersweet and sentimental. The second half is a bit more uplifting, but still quite serious. It reminded me of a tech announcement, like when they introduce the new iphone or something like that. Very professional, sleek, and serious, which isn't automatically a bad thing! But I do think that's not the vibe a decently-sized chunk of the audience expected or wanted. Many people watch Watcher for the cast's dynamic with each other, humor, and the more relaxed/conversational/friendly feel that most of the series have.
Compare to dropout - excited and comedic tone. Still professional, but also fits the expectations of the viewers. People watch collegehumor for the humor (it was in the name, after all). They also poke a bit of fun at themselves, which lightens the mood, shows self-awareness, and alleviates some of the bad feelings about paywalling.
Focus The Watcher announcement focuses a lot on the creative journey of the cast and company, as well as how this move will benefit them. Which isn't a bad thing, that's actually quite interesting! The problem here, I think, is actually more about what isn't here - a solid explanation of how this will also benefit the viewers and why the viewers should be excited. There's a brief description of one new show, and the promise that existing shows will get an upgrade, but we weren't given many specific details about how they'll be improved, and there's only one new show to tempt us into subscribing. Some people will be excited for that, some people won't, and some people will be excited but not enough to subscribe. Having 2 or 3 series (even if it's 1 fleshed out plus a few teasers of what's in production or what is being planned) plus some more details about how existing shows will be improved would've helped. Without that, it really does seem like it'll just be the same stuff viewers were getting for free, but now paywalled, rather than new and exciting stuff. That makes a big difference. I think with the fans not getting as much focus, this also led to some (accidental, I hope) hurt feelings. Based on what I've seen from fan reactions, all the talk about hitting the peak of what they can do on youtube and wanting more, translated for many people to 'youtube isn't enough' which became 'you (the current viewers) aren't enough.' Which I don't think was their intent! But I also don't think fans are wrong for feeling hurt by that.
Compare to dropout: They clearly explain how the move will benefit fans, and reassure viewers that existing content will stay where it is, and only new content will be behind the paywall. (Watcher clarified this too, but in a comment. It's not in the video itself, which is a huge problem.) They include clips of several new (at the time) series that would be premiering on dropout, including things that specifically could not be made on youtube (due to weed, violence, and sexual humor), so the reason for the shift is clear to the audience.
Advertisers Both videos contain the sentiment that being monetarily successful on youtube means working to appease the advertisers, and that over time what the advertisers want and what the creators want drifts further and further apart, putting strain on the creators.
However, I think the message gets lost a bit in the Watcher vid. Instead, it leaves viewers with the idea that the main problem is just ads are annoying instead of advertisers putting constraints on content. I'm not even sure what the specific constraints are for watcher, because they didn't give any examples. And the focus on ads being annoying leaves viewers frustrated because people typically either don't mind ads or they already have an ad blocker.
Timing and Size Okay, this isn't exactly about presentation, but it is still a factor that impacts perception so I'm tackling it. And I'm actually going to do dropout first. CollegeHumor launched dropout in September 2018. Pre-pandemic, but also pre-Sam Reich as CEO. The company was still owned by IAC. It was a Company, and while it wasn't huge it wasn't tiny either. So launching dropout was a Company Decision, a Business Strategy. Some people were upset about, but it wasn't a personal betrayal (generally, anyways). If I remember correctly, this was also not a high point for the company. They kinda needed dropout to do well to keep things running smoothly (which is why they shut it down and sold it to Sam just 1 1/2ish years later), so the sudden shift made sense.
Watcher Entertainment is a company, but it doesn't feel like one. Ryan, Shane, and Steven own and operate things, but they're also the faces, and they're youtubers. Which makes every business decision they make feel more personal to viewers, especially those who have been watching for a long time. They've also seemingly been doing well on youtube, which makes it more difficult for viewers to understand why the sudden change is happening now. They do talk a bit about it, about the company expanding and wanting to do things that advertisers don't like (which I've already covered). However, mostly the choice to start a streaming platform is framed as 'the next big step' without much clarification on why it's the next big step. Plus, it's post-pandemic, and a lot of people are still struggling financially with the ripple effects of that. Yes, $6 isn't a wild amount of money, but there have been some months where $5 absolutely meant the difference between paying all my bills or not, and I know I'm not the only one. This, coupled with a lack of clarity about why exactly they're doing this, leads to fans feeling hurt, betrayed, bitter, and frustrated.
Now, presentation and framing isn't everything. No matter how perfect your announcement is, some people are still going to be upset. It's a big change, of course people will be upset! But I do think a more careful presentation would've alleviated some of the hurt and anger that fans are feeling. While I do think a lot of the reaction we're seeing is due to the decision, I think (based on what I've seen) that some of it is also based on the poor communication in the video itself, and that could've been avoided!
So I'm gonna get a little speculative and describe what I would've done. In this hypothetical, they've decided to launch the streaming service and brought me on just for the announcement.
Firstly, switch the title out. If they're married to Goodbye Youtube then add a (and hello...?) after so it's at least obvious they aren't fully quitting. The dark color scheme of the thumbnail fits their regular vibe, but they want everyone to be excited so they should look excited. Next, let's lighten the tone up. Being proud of what they've done so far is great, but we don't need the sentimental music and bittersweetness. Remember, the goal is to get viewers excited about what come's next - so let's focus on what actually comes next! Talk about specific show plans and mention why they wouldn't work on youtube. Then, take some time to reassure the fans. Predict a few likely worries and address them in the video. Acknowledge that it's a big change, that it will take time to get used to, and that not everyone will be onboard, and let the fans know that it's ok if they aren't onboard.
Like I said, this wouldn't fix everything. There are a few differences in between dropout and watcher that don't have anything to do with presentation. Dropout launched with primarily new shows rather than new seasons of existing shows, and they continued uploading to youtube relatively regularly in addition to the content behind the paywall, which I do think went a long way to keeping fans happy. At this point it's unclear if watcher will do either of those or not. But, while I don't think it would fix everything, I do think improved communication in the announcement would've helped.
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