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white-poppie · 2 years

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Chaotic Tokyorev Headcanons

A/N: This is very chaotic so be warned. Who said woman can’t be funny? Kiss my ass :3

(Bonus: Random memes i found)

Tokyo 卍 Revengers (東京卍リベンジャーズ)

Mikey

Manz has severe like severeee indigestion problems. Like all this guy does is eat and sleep?? So he burps so loud. Imagine being in a meeting, complete silence, lots of focus and this midget just goes BURRRPPP.

He is so hecking annoying like bro stop sending Beluga videos at 3AM, poor Draken is trying to sleep.

He once changed Draken’s ringtone to CPR by Cuppcake. They were in a meeting and Draken recieved a call,oh boy, entire of Toman saw Draken’s dArK ImPulSes while the background music kept playing. “I am here to serve you customer service~~”

Draken

Man is too tall to be in Japan lmao, that one time he was walking with Mikey, he miscalculated how much he would need to bend to enter the door way. Ended up bonking his face straight into the wall.

He is barely ever sleep at night, reasons: overthinking, living in a brothel and most importantly, Baji and Mikey who send him random videos that he has to pretend to not find funny. Like that one time Baji sent him a video of Spongebob saying ‘YOAIMO’ on loop.

He is so quiet sometimes you would think there is something wrong. What actually goes in his mind is: ‘What if Baji suddenly shat in his pants again in the middle of a fight?’ or ‘if the earth is round, is it Mikey’s fault?’

Draken:

Me: 🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗

Baji

is the kind of person who’s only response to any kind of insult is “YoUr MoM.”

Like Mf its not my mom who cried because I had to repeat a school year.

You : “Baji you look like shit.” Baji: “jOe MAmA” *insert windshield wiper laugh* My guy, you aint funny 😐😑

He once went to Ken saying, “Oi do you know Draken?” Draken is like: 😐 brother wut Baji: DRAKEN DEEZ NUTS-

(He ended up face flat on ground that day)

Chifuyu

Best boy 😤

I just knowww he reads soo much smut and weirdass wattpad books. Like the books he reads are so Satire.

the shit is like: marked by the alpha, sold to the mafia boss by my parents, kidnapped by One direction, BTS are my bullies and I fall in love with them and the vampire is my mate.

I don’t even need to be told twice. He is a twice stan, no questions asked. e was home alone and was playing some songs while bathing. After he came out a particular song: TT by Twice started playing and boi he couldn’t resist dancing. He wasn’t aware that baji had come home and the door was a little open, Baji saw him dancing with exaggerated steps with only a towel .

In case you wanna see the steps: https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxG_GPqC87wi8QjUpoI4IbwcPmo3flsJpS

Kazutora

He gets anxious so easilyy (he is me, I am him).

Once he was with Chifuyu helping in the ship, stalking one of the crates he by mistake dropped an item on Chifuyu’s leg.

He got confused between saying: ‘Are you okay?’ and ‘I am sorry’

He ended up yelling at his face, “ARE YOU SORRY?” And Chifuyu is just like: 🙂 tf you high on dood?

He has some...interesting choice of words when it comes to certain things. Like one time Chifuyu and him were watching a movie and he randomly went, “damn, her Tatas are so big.” Chifuyu ended up spilling the cold drink on his tatas due to laughing so much instead.

If bad things happen in your life, don’t blame yourself-

Mitsuya

Okay so we know he is an amazing brother you takes good care of his sisters. But for some reason the rest of toman also expects him to take care of them?

Like that one time when Baji set fire to car when people were still inside and he was forced to apologize to a veryy naked couple in the middle of the road at that time.

Or when when a girl was fixated upon Hakkai and he had to pretend to be his boyfriend to drive her off.

And also at the time when a very sleepy Mikey showed up in the middle of the night asking him for some snacks and everything was finished so he made him have half-cooked rice with peanut butter.

Hakkai

Pretty Boyyy🥺❤❤ And also fruity icon. Mf have you seen his wallpaper? “Takaa channn”

The Tiktok kid who puts TW on the weirdest of things. Like: TW! : bunny-hats, dirty shoes and sometimes even TW! Asian ppl. My love, you ARE Asian.

He forgets about how huge he is sometimes, so he ends up breaking so many things.

Like that one time Mitsuya dared him to hold a girl’s hand. He did so, she felt comfortable and they started walking, he suddenly lifted his arm up and that poor girl was dangling like a keychain: 🧍‍♀️ 🙋‍♂️. Thank fully her arm didn’t break, but he never held hands with anyone again.

hands and doors aren’t the only things this boy can break

HMMM... lets take a moment and think about Hakkai’s wallpaper :))

Sanzu

All we accept in this house is Sanzu slander :))

Sanzu stans be jumping red flags like its olympics all year

Mf got so high once, he started humping a tree...in a kids park.

A parent came upto him and asked, “sir what are you, doing, this is a kids park, please keep that in mind.”

He looked dead in their eye, blinked and said, “Oh, I am sorry, I’ll turn on my kiddie mode.” (2 minutes later)

Sanzu: “WHAT DOES A FOX SAY?” Kids: Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!!

Also once he said to Bonten Mikey that his hair looks like that of a karen. Ran and Rindou feared for his life that day.

Unironically says YEET when he throws something.

Has a group chat with Ran and Rindou called The Boyz 🥶🔥⛓

JOJO NO KIMYO NA BOKEN AIZU OIFU HEABWEN

Smiley ( Kawata Nahoya)

This boy right here is a menace to society.

This guy has so much lice in his hair. He never washes it. Souya was once looking at him picking something from his hair and chewing it. Mf was picking out lice and eating it like a hecking monkey. (Bro how did you not get Aids by now?)

He sleep-talks. A lot. Him and Souya were sleeping one day and baby boy started whimpering. Poor Angry thought he was having a bad dream and tried to wake him up. He ended up getting kicked in the face while him yelling “WHAT DA DOG DOIN?”

He once thought that him and Souya should name their attacks like those in MHA and Naruto. The neighbours were just looking at them yelling while standing 4 feet away from each other like: 🧍‍♂️ and yelling like Naruto and Sasuke “SOUYAAA” “NAHOYAA” “SOUYAAA” “NAHOYAA” “ROUNDO HOUSEO KICKKEU!!” ”ONE PUNCHO IN YOUR FACEUU!!” and all this while standing like a statue.

“DIE, YAY, MURDER, YAY” : Master Oogway

Angry (Kawata Souya)

This little gremlin, he is so pretty:(((

He is so respectful that its funny.

So once he had a s/o. They were all dressed up for him, *wink wonk*. So they are just lying there like draw me like one of your french girls. And bro he opened the door. Stood there staring into their soul for a few seconds, turned around and slammed the door in their face while yelling, “I am sorry I should have knocked!” Ruined the whole mood.

His brother knows everything that happens in his life. Your crush on Mitsuya? Smileys knows. You skipping a class? Smiley knows. The time when Chifuyu tried to subtly fart? Smiley knows. Baji’s crappy “Deez” jokes? Smiley KNOWS.

He just such a cute little and fragile dandelion UwU who can turn Ran into Ranabelle UwU.

Shuji Hanma

As much as I hate this bitch...he is hot in the timeskip only)

You think Hakkai was bad? He makes wholeass overdramatic TikTok povs. Shit is like: “I am your boyfriend and the police is arresting me.” Mf goes making such weird faces.

He gets sooo mad when you compare him to Nishinoya from Haikyuu.

He also says “SHEESH’ and lip-bites obnoxiously

Oh did I forget to mention about how he tried to make that one video of doing the ‘bapsae’ hip thrust? I am talking about this thing. Yeah...dude lost his balance due to bending too much, mf was so AGRESSIVE when I tell you. It wasn’t even hot anymore, looked like he was having an itch. smh

The clip: https://youtube.com/shorts/dX6RTlhW2ZY?feature=share

Tokyo 卍 Revengers (東京卍リベンジャーズ)

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sanctum-stinker · 1 year

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How about MCU wongstrange? What was your first impression of them? Any headcanons?

I want to to know more, of what you see. Because for me personally, I think I ship them after mom. And I wonder if I missed more than two moments or scenes that flew over me

Hello Hi!

You came to the right place. Because I jumped on the WongStrange Bandwagon before No Way Home I’ve had plenty of time to analyse past content and also pick out bits from recent films which I thought were fruity!

I’ve just compiled the images in my camera roll because I can’t be bothered screenshotting and looking up all the scenes, I hope that’ll suffice!

Doctor Strange 2016

If I’m being completely honest, Mordo and Stephen have a better dynamic in this movie, but Wong still has his moments! Obviously the iconic Beyoncé scene, the weirdly tense library interactions, Stephen reviving Wong and Wong trusting him without hesitation etc etc.

This deleted scene as well. Rolling on the floor crying. This also sort of confirms they’re living together in the sanctum now, so that’s also a thing.

Multiverse of Madness 2022 This movie was kinda shit, but we got some pretty decent bits all things aside. Their overall banter and dynamics are fantastic at times, and whoever made their outfit colors so fucking complimentary deserves a wet sloppy kiss.

Why are there so many shots of them looking at each other.

Honestly I can’t even describe this one. Why is he looking at him like that.

Christine tells him to face his fears so he immediately opens up a little to Wong and trusts him. Okay. Cool. Okay.

And of course the bow scene. Peak symbolism regarding his respect towards Wong and his growth as a man. His eyes remain fixed on Wong when he does this and I think they were insane for this. I fucking love this scene.

Infinity War

Not much content in this because Wong peaces out like two seconds into appearing, but we get some good shit in that time.

Matching battle stances are so romantic, boys.

That’s the only stuff I’ve got, but honorable mentions is that this further confirms Wong and Stephen now live together in the sanctum. The money and tuna melt banter at the start, Wong saying that the Hulk Ice cream is ‘our favorite’ implying ice cream nights and a conversation where they have confirmed to each other that that flavor is their favorites. Marvel I just want to talk, please, I just want to talk about Sanctum Sanctorum ice cream night please.

Endgame

I also don’t have any images for Endgame, but the fact that Wong likely organised the majority of the portal scene makes me yell. Due to Stephen reappearing on Titan (as seen in his entrance scene) it implies that he had to have had communications with Wong previous to dusting. Because of his lack of presence he wouldn’t have been able to have actually put anything into action, thus Wong has to be responsible for the most iconic scene in the MCU!!!

The fact that they’re such a power duo offscreen and unknowingly carry the whole battle is insane to me and no one talks about it.

No Way Home

Banger film. Great WongStrange moments.

Marvel tell us what happened at the full moon party IMPOSSIBLE edition.

Stephen using puppy eyes to fucking win Wong over to let him use a dangerous reality warping spell. You know, just a casual Tuesday. AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH.

Also introduces Sorcerer Supreme Wong which I shat my pants about. I adore that they let him be Sorcerer supreme but dearly wish they took him more seriously. But we’re not here to talk about that. Onto the next.

What If…? Doctor Strange lost his heart and not his hands.

God I remember the soul shattering experience this was when it came out. The WongStrange content was surprisingly nourishing though.

‘We’ve’ been through weirder.

Stephen putting aside his crippling heartache for Christine just to save Wong? Like not even considering the actual rest of the world that’s fading outside? Okay. Cool. Cool. Okay.

Wong also is the one to comfort Stephen about Christine and is a part of the pinnacle point in time determining wether Stephen uses the timestone and turns into Strange Supreme or not.

Now the second two aren’t technically a part of the MCU, but they are related to it. I don’t know where they’re to be put in the MCU category but they exist so I’ll consider them canon.

This book is just silly and goofy. No comments just read it for yourself.

Infinity War Prelude 2

This comic is so overlooked, and I don’t know why. The Doctor Strange Prelude is as well. They kinda do Wong dirty with the art, but the content is pretty cool. Also gives us an insight into Ragnorok and just how the sorcerers operate.

Wong casually recounting Stephen’s whole journey for no reason.

I just like them in this panel tbh. Stephen is kinda scrumpled.

Stephen pulling a John Watson with the “stop being mysterious” thing. Implying Wong has been cryptic and mysterious enough for Stephen to recognize this as a character attribute.

That’s all I have, honestly I’m too tired to come up with a capping off statement, but I hope this pile of various moments is enough! The MCU is yet to really explore their dynamic, and let alone Wong as a character, so I’m excited (and a bit afraid after MoM) to see where it goes!

#WongStrange #Bird insanity

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cyle · 1 year

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things that were accomplished in my star trek adventures one-off session today

had to improvise that denobulan sausages have live worms in them, because why not. the players wanted to eat worms and there was no gagh aboard, had to make do.

discovered that every alien has a british accent because i forgot how to do accents. i made the captain french and neglected to brush up on my french accent.

there's a space between klingons' dual sphincters that is very painful when kicked, and it got kicked.

the players rolled so many successes on phaser stuns that everybody shat their pants as they were stunned, because i couldn't remember any other fun critical effects to apply.

captured lursa and b'etor of the duras family, technically right before they were supposed to show up against the Enterprise-D in star trek generations. guess that movie never happens in my timeline, or happens very very differently!

confirmed that if anything is ever going on along the Klingon-Romulan border, it's definitely the romulans doing sneaky shit.

just another episode of star trek

#star trek adventures

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kids-will-try-to-take-my-vibes · 11 months

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Lately it feels like I got off the bike.

On one summer holiday, when I was about 11, I hung out with my brother's friends. We used to do some stupid reckless shit just to prove to each other that we could. One day we mounted our bikes and went to drive down the levees. They were pretty tall, steep and covered with trees. Once I got to the top of the levee and looked down, I nearly shat my pants, but I didn't want the guys to see it, so I tipped my bike over the egde and drove down.

The ride felt beyond scary, fcking dangerous. I had to stay hyper vigilant to avoid trees, roots and stones sticking out of the ground. I gripped handlebars of my bike so tight, my knuckles turned white. My arms were shaking afterwards. The ride only lasted few seconds but it felt like the time had slowed down. It was the most helpless I ever felt and I've been through some fcked up shit before. If I couldn't move my bike in time, if I lost focus for half a second or if anything else happened, I believe I would have ended up dead. Not only that, my brother and friends would have witnessed it. And I used to be pretty big on not letting my brother see and know the fcked up stuff I've seen.

Later on I would get nightmares about this ride in which the leveled terrain insted of getting closer, would get further and further away from me. The ride would never end, I would get stuck in the feeling of helplessness and the impression that everything around me moves too quickly for me to process.

Later on I realised that this overwhelming impression is a good metaphor for what it felt like for me in general, to be alive. How were people even able to process everything that was going on around them and in the wide world? How the fck one gets grounded when the flow of information doesn't stop for one sheer second? And I don't mean the news, but even the information our bodies send us: I'm hungry, leg's in pain, the insects buzzing loud, back's itchy, throat is scratchy and so on. There is no rest. IT NEVER FCKING STOPS.

Living life has always felt like that bike ride down the levee. And now, that I spent most of my time isolated... it finally feels like I got off that cursed bike and started walking around. Like I can keep up. Even though I'm still scared.

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kenology · 3 years

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football or music indeed

#riverdale #riverdaleedit #riverdale season 5 #archie andrews #riverdalecentral #kevin keller #myrvd #mygif #i shat my pants when this happened live

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fullfiresiren · 3 years

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beauty of the dawn

jujutsu kaisen

fushiguro toji x reader

The notion of a loving family was something foreign to Fushiguro Toji. Family, to him, was a bitter word -- full of hate and abhorrence. Abandonment and fear were a commonality in his own childhood. But in you, he finds a warmth he didn’t think he deserved – a home he craved, a love that makes him feel safe; full of gentle touches and soft kisses. But he’s scared. He's broken, and angry, and he knows the threat of his family is always lurking close, snapping at his heels, ready to devour. You bring the notion of family to his doorstep, and he spooks. He panics. He can’t let them find you, he can’t and he has to give up the only feeling of warmth he has ever known to do so.

It haunts him forever – leaving behind the only woman he ever loved, and a child he will never know.

word count: 3.8k.

notes: *inhales* ANGST— lmao but really, I live for it. Toji may be a bad person, but I suck dick, not morals, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bro I fr don’t even know what came over me. This has been like the smallest headcannon for me and somehow it turned into this horribly sad piece, and although Toji is a dick, I also think he is an incredibly complex character that, at the end of it all, was just a desperate father trying to look out for his child. I think he deserves much more than he got, and he kinda gets shat on in this fic lmao I'm so fuCKING SORRY FOR THAT--

warnings: nsfw/18+, angst, hurt no comfort, abandonment, unplanned pregnancy, pregnant reader

“Take me,” he prays, panting secrets that fall from his lips onto your soft skin; promises of pleasure as he breeds you deep. “Take all of me.”

And you do – over, and over, and over again.

Hilting him to the deepest part of yourself, and holding him close, so close, his breath a hot ghost across your face as he leans his forehead against yours. You keep him there until he is finished, taking his seed like it was sacrament. He gives you everything he has to offer, and only when you have slipped into a light slumber does he pull away.

He never strays far, though, and he cannot stay away for long. You are like sweet honey and warm sunsets; the breathing embodiment of a life he was never before privy to – the promise of something better; a miracle. Far from the cold depravity and sharp pain of his own family, in you, he found only warm touches, and words of tender affection. Toji feels so overwhelmed by the amount of love he has for you, that sometimes it’s unbearable. He feels so happy he could die.

He is not an honest man, by any means. He kills for a vocation -- and enjoys it, too. It’s something he’s good at. It’s an easy way to make money, and it helps him pay for his half of the rent on the meagre apartment you share. It also lets him keep the fridge full, make sure you’re always warm, and that you’re never without. He doesn’t really care about himself or what he has to do – so long as you’re happy.

The weight of his body is always heavy between your thighs, his chest solid, thrusts slow and deep, stretching you, making a perfect fit for himself inside you. He likes drawing it out – each time he takes you. He enjoys seeing you beg for release, relishes the way your tears slide down your flushed cheeks, because he likes being the one to kiss them away, knowing he is the only one who ever makes you feel this good. His name sounds so perfect when it falls from your lips at your height of ecstasy, and the way you take him in has him swearing he can see heaven.

You see a side of him that no one else does, but he’s dark, he’s toxic. The amount of sadness in his soul is challenged only by the sheer force of his anger. He's sure that he wasn’t always like this, but... he can’t really remember a time when he wasn’t. Everyone and everything was his enemy. He’s never really told you much about his family, or his past. His childhood had been dark, you assumed, based on the way he flinched around children, and steered clear of any conversational topics that included them or parental figures.

Toji Fushiguro was untouchable to everyone, and only just tangible to you.

He wants to be able to give you everything. He wants to lay his head on your chest in the depths of the night when he’s feeling lost, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat to guide him home. He wants to come home every night, no matter what happens to him throughout the day, and be able to feel the brush of your soft lips; to taste your tongue with his – god – he wants to. But he’s afraid. He’s scared. If he gives you everything... if he shows you who he really is... what happens if you see something you don’t like? Will you pull away from him? Will you cast him out and abandon him – just like his family did? Toji isn’t feeble by any sense of the word, but he thinks that would be the one thing that would break him.

That’s why he’s only let you see glimpses... and only every now and then.

He’s just so miserable when he’s alone. He’s angry at the world, and you’re the only thing that soothes him. The only thing he has ever loved.

You’re staring at yourself in the mirror when he comes home, locked away in the too-small bathroom. You hear the keys turning in the lock; a signal of his arrival, and the door to your apartment opens, bringing with it sounds of paper bags crinkling, keys being tossed into their bowl, and huffing exhales as he struggles to kick his heavy boots off.

“Toji?”

“I’m home!” he calls, his voice a deep timbre in his chest, smooth like rich oak.

You follow it, leaving the safe space of your bathroom to find him, and when you pass the threshold into your small kitchen, he’s lifting bags of fresh groceries onto what little counter space you have. The movement carries with it droplets from an October rain that had caught him by surprise on his walk home, ones that hang from the edges of his black hair and drip down onto his damp black shirt.

“Toji,” you repeat, beaming as you bound into your small kitchen. “I have wonderful news!”

He spares you a glance between unpacking vegetables, dark eyes tracing the curve of your face, hands grasping at packets of food that need to be tossed in the fridge, and cans to be stacked in the shelves.

“Hmm?”

He offers you his face, leaning in close, pausing in his task to receive a small blessing of affection from you — a soft kiss against the scar on his lip that has his eyelashes fluttering closed, and then one more fully against yours – always greedy for any love you bestow, always chasing just one more, just once more, just another, my love, just one more...

He continues with his chore, but only when you giggle at the fluttering of kisses he peppers across your face, your jaw, suckling at your neck, your hands against his chest pushing him gently, urging him to finish his task – but not before you give him another deep kiss, all giddiness and mirth swimming in your gaze. He can’t help the deep chuckle that spills from his lips at seeing you so happy.

“Toji,” you begin, and he’s rummaging in the paper bags, brows furrowed because he could have sworn that he bought three carrots, and not two -- “I’m pregnant!”

He stills.

He can sense your beaming smile, almost feels the warmth of it on his cold skin, and it only makes him shiver.

The seconds tick by without any form of reaction, and the atmosphere grows horribly tense. Toji doesn’t look at you, but he can see from his peripheral vision that your smile slips at the same time that your shoulders round and you make yourself smaller, unconsciously closing off. You’re twisting something in your hands, suddenly nervous, and he has a nauseating feeling that settles in his gut, because he knows exactly what it is that you’re holding.

It’s proof.

“Are you... happy?” you ask, and you hate that you have to. It’s like a punch in the gut, and you’re afraid. This was not the reaction you were expecting at all.

“Are you sure?” he doesn’t know why he asks that.

He isn’t looking at you, and he isn’t moving – he’s not even blinking. You feel your hands becoming sweaty as you clutch the positive pregnancy test, mouth dry. A quickly increasing panic creeps over your skin, gripping you by the throat, and you honestly have no idea how to traverse this kind of response to your news. In the bathroom you only practiced scenarios in relation to a beaming, positive reaction.

Which room should we make into the baby’s room? Our baby can always sleep with us, though, and I know they’re definitely going to prefer you – I'm hopeless with kids... but I hope they look like you, Toji – a perfect combination of everything I love about you!

Do you want to pick names out? I hope it’s a girl... but a boy would be wonderful, too! I know the baby will adore you, no matter what! Do you have any names you like? We can name them after someone you love? If it’s a boy, I want to make his middle name yours...

Why didn’t you think he was going to show apprehension or reluctance? Why were you so idiotic to assume this is something he desired when he’s never given you any signs of wanting to start a family? He’s probably feeling entirely overwhelmed – and no wonder – you have no tact about this. Fuck, you’re stupid. You fucking idiot. Pathetic, dumb, worthless--

“Y-yes,” you reply, and your voice is a shadow of its former self. “I took three tests. I have one here--”

“How.”

You flinch a little under the curtness of his words.

“W-what—?”

“How did this happen?”

“Uhm...” your voice sounds so frail when you speak, and you can't help it. He’s making you feel like you’ve committed a horrendous sin. You’ve managed to combine the epitome of affection between the two of you into the creation of what will become a child – a perfect mix of the two of you, and yet, you’re beginning to hate yourself for doing so. You didn’t mean to... it was an accident... “We don’t... you know... use protection... and we... have sex... a lot...”

“I thought you were taking the pill.”

You feel like you want to throw up.

His entire body is unnaturally still, and he’s not looked at you once since you’ve told him. You are pretty sure that the can in his right hand is warping under the violent pressure of his grasp, and you wring your hands around the test nervously, the weight of it somehow heavy against your palms.

“I... don’t take the pill...” you remind, and then as an afterthought, you add, “I’m sorry.”

Words you never thought you would say in relation to this. You never though you would have to apologize in this kind of situation. You exhale a shaky breath, and it seems to bring him back to reality. He sets the can down on the countertop with more force than needed, and you try your best to blink back tears as you ask, “You’re... not happy... are you...?”

It’s more of a statement than a question, and it hurts to say – god, it hurts. The words sting when they leave your mouth, like a hard slap against your face, but the ache is not nearly as bad as the way his silence is wounding you. You feel like you’re about to collapse from the amount of pain you have in your heart.

“I need to go somewhere,” is the most he offers you, before he’s turning on his heels and striding past you, leaving the apartment you share.

The noise of the front door slamming shut echoes in your mind long after the sound itself has gone.

He never did come back.

— — — 5 years later — — —

In the end, you were blessed with a baby girl, all chubby with round, rosy cheeks. Dark hair and eyes like her father, but soft and gentle like her mother. She was an almost perfect child. She never cried, and she never fussed, content in just being close to her mother. She listened when you spoke, and learned fast, growing just as quick, and you would die for her. She was your blessing; Akemi – the beauty of a new dawn.

You’re sure that he would have loved her more than life itself, but you try not to spare any thoughts his way anymore.

Toji gambles his life away, blowing through anything he earns as quickly as he makes it, drowning himself night after night in heavy alcohol to dampen his senses until they are nothing more than a faint hum in the back of his brain.

With any luck, those things will kill him long before the guilt does.

He fucks faceless women, drunk beyond sense, and when he finishes, he leaves before they sleep.

“Hate me, (y/n),” he sneers, turning sharply to vomit up onto the wet asphalt, breath a shaky exhale as he stumbles into the cold night, thoughts only on you – only ever on you – unaware that he’s crying. “Hate me. I fucking deserve it.”

His face is smeared with bile and tears, and he is so fucking angry -- so desperately sad, and he cries, and cries. He wants to go home. He just wants to go home. He wants to meet her – his darling daughter – he wants to hold her, and kiss her forehead, and tuck her into bed. Fuck everything that he thought – he would have been a great father, he knows it – and you knew it, too. He’s so lost without you, and he wants to lay his head on your chest in the safety of your bedroom, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat to guide him home. He wants to feel the brush of your soft lips again; to taste your tongue with his, moan your name into your parted sigh, make you feel him again.

He screams, but it catches in his throat before he can, and he splits his knuckles open when he sends a furious punch against a brick wall.

He can protect you from a lot of things – but not the power of his family. Not that. He’s just one man, and they’re so many. He has a heavenly restriction, and they are all blessed with both innate and inherited techniques, passed down through eons. He knows what they’ll do if they ever found out about you – about the child, and Toji swears on everything he has, that he won’t let them touch you – or her. Even if he won’t be able to. Even if he’ll never be able to hold his daughter, to thank her for being born, to cradle her against his chest and feel her wrap her small fingers against his – he won’t let the Zen’in have her. He won’t.

But that doesn’t mean that he deprives himself from watching over her – or you. Eyes follow the two of you home from her pre-school, singing nursery rhymes to your hearts content, watching as she orders “up, up, mommy!”, squealing happily when you lift her onto your shoulders. He imagines himself in your place; lifting her to higher heights, hearing her giggle a chorus of happy songs as your hand finds his, lips on his scar as you tell him how much you love him.

But he always keeps his distance, dark baseball cap shielding his features, and leaves before you feel someone following you.

It becomes increasingly hard to keep it at that. He starts pushing the boundaries, testing how close he can get. He knows he shouldn’t -- he has no right to – but when she dropped her stuffed toy one time in the supermarket, and you were oblivious to it, he finds himself bending down to grasp the too-soft toy in his calloused hands, dropping it in your basket when your back is turned, and your brows are furrowed as you regard the price difference between her favorite flavor of juice compared to the off-brand ones.

The thrill of being so close, of doing something, anything fatherly, was like a fix – a short relief from the aching despair and loneliness constantly plaguing him, and he finds himself doing it more and more – always pushing, always testing the waters. He even smiled at her once when she caught him staring, and she sent her own toothy grin back at him. His heart soared.

His daughter’s name was Akemi, and he first heard it when it fell from your lips one warm afternoon. He wants to write her name on his heart – right beside yours.

He wants to give her something – a pretty gift, but he doesn’t know what. He was never good at buying presents, and would only ever bring you flowers, since it seemed like something that could never go wrong, and would always bring a bright smile to your face. Flowers would be strange for a child, though. He twists the dainty silver bracelet between his large fingers, thinking bitterly that this was the same way you held the pregnancy test all those years ago. He didn’t really care how much it cost him. He’s sure that the salesman added unnecessary tax and extras to the price just to give himself more commission, but Toji doesn’t care – he just wanted something pretty to give to his daughter.

When he finally sees her enter the park, small hand tugging yours happily, his mind goes empty, and he can’t stop staring. You are as beautiful as ever, and it’s no wonder his daughter is so ethereal when she has you for a mother.

She is perfect, he thinks -- too good for this life -- and even though it’s the worst thing he has ever done, he is reminded that pulling away from you was the only way to save her from his family. It looks like she escaped the curse of inheriting any of his bloodline's techniques, and what’s more so – it seems like she, too, is oblivious to curses; skipping past them as she chases leaves that skit about the dirt path of the park, her teddy in her arms. Toji dips his head down when she draws near the bench he’s sitting on, the brim of his baseball cap keeps his face hidden, and his sadness known only to himself.

“Excuse me?”

He bristles when her voice floats past his ears, so gentle and sweet.

“Hey, mister,” she pokes his knee with her slim finger, so tiny compared to the size of his body, and he jerks at the contact. “Is this yours?”

She’s holding the bracelet in her small hand, the silver glinting in the morning sun, offering it up to him with large eyes, so close to him. At this distance, he can see the true color of her eyes – exactly like his own – and the small freckles that dot her skin. The longer he stares, the more his chest constricts painfully, tightly – he’s finding it hard to breathe, and he exhales suddenly, sharply snatching it away from her.

The force of the movement causes her to stumble a little, tripping over her feet, and before she knows it, the man who was once sitting before her has entirely caught her in his large arms, scooping her up before the ground has a chance to harm her.

She blinks once... twice... swaddled in his arms, sitting against his broad chest, and Toji frantically looks for you, finding you caught up in talking to another mother, too busy to notice. He knows he would scold you for it if he was still in your life, but when his daughter laughs, he snaps his head back to look at her, forgetting what thoughts he had in his mind at the glinting sound of her happiness.

“Whoa!” she exclaims, “You’re fast! Thanks for catching me!”

He doesn’t know what to say – if he should say anything at all. His plan was to give her the bracelet, telling her that it was a late birthday gift from someone that loves her very much, and walking off before she (or you) has the chance to catch on or respond. But now that he’s inches away from her, holding her close as she peers up at him, he’s lost again. He’s lost, and he can’t breathe. He needs you to steady him, but you aren’t here, and he doesn’t know what to do, what should he do, what should he--?

“Where did you get that scar from?” she asks innocently, her large eyes suddenly trained on the mark beside his lips.

“F-from an accident,” he mumbles, “a long time ago.”

“Oh,” she hums, hands splayed against his broad chest, looking around her, swaying her legs absentmindedly. “Wow, you’re really tall! I can see everything from up here!” she exclaims happily, “My mommy’s not as tall as this, so when I sit on her shoulders, I can’t see nearly as much as I can now!”

“Oh,” he mutters, not really knowing what to say, “is that so?”

“Mhm,” she nods, “Mommy’s not as big as you are either.”

At this, he gives a genuine laugh – a sound he hasn’t heard fall from his lips in a long, long time, looking at her with quiet adoration.

“She’s not as fast as you either,” she continues, “you were super-fast!”

“She’s strong in her own ways, though,” he mutters, offering her a soft smile.

“Do you know my mommy?”

He bristles, actively avoiding her gaze. His heart is racing from this much interaction with his daughter, and he’s sure she can feel it under her small palm. It beats for her – if only she knew, and Toji contemplates, for the briefest of seconds, just telling her. The thought leaves his mind as soon as it enters. He doesn’t have that choice, and he doesn’t deserve it.

“Not really,” he mutters, dipping down slowly to set her footing on solid ground once more.

“She’s really pretty,” the little girl continues, playing with the soft fabric of his t-shirt in a small moment of fondness and familiarity, “and nice – and she makes great food!”

Toji realises only after the fact that his hand had settled on top of her head, and he’s stroking her hair softly, thumb caressing her cheek when he moves to cup her face. She doesn’t seem to mind at all, and Toji is overwhelmed with a plethora of emotions. Pride in you for doing all this by yourself and raising such a wonderful child, shame for abandoning you and his daughter, mirth, anger, warmth, sadness, love--

“Akemi!” you call, seeing her lift her head at the sound of your voice. “This way, honey!”

“Oh, I have to go now! My mommy is calling me!” she perks up, gripping her teddy a little tighter and offering the man a smile. “Bye-bye!”

“W-wait!” he calls, thrusting the gift into her small hands. “This is for you, uh... f-from me...”

She looks down at it, before her whole face lights up, and Toji is suddenly breathless – she looks so much like you when she’s surprised, happiness blossoming over her face the same way it would on yours.

Toji feels a deep-rooted emptiness inside his body when he watches his daughter retreat away from him; a living embodiment of all his failures to you, and yet, as he sees her long, black hair whip out behind her, he realizes something else — she was your promise delivered; a combination of everything good between the two of you, in itself a miracle. He might not be in her life, but he was also partly responsible for creating something so beautiful, so ethereal.

He knows he doesn’t deserve it, but if he was ever fortunate enough to be granted a second, it would be a miracle; a holy gift.

A blessing that would accompany the beauty of dawn.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #toji x reader #fushiguro toji x reader #toji x you #fushiguro toji x you #angst #pregnant!reader #abandonment #dilf toji

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bugsbucky · 4 years

Text

Cotton Clouds

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Request: Hiii lovely! Could I kindly request a Bucky x plus!size reader - she is really shy and insecure about her body weight and is more like the chef to the avengers (cooking breakfast and dinner for them and that kind of stuff) she is also being secretly bullied by a lower rank agent and one day the bully shoves her and she falls over, hurting herself and Bucky saw everything and just!! Protective Bucky is my life. Please don't rush! There's no pressure from me 🖤 love you!!

Warnings: Angst, body shaming, insecurities, bullying, asshole agents, protective!Bucky, protective!Steve (kinda), language, broken noses, a little pussy that probably shat his pants, fluff, happy endings.

Word Count: 3,007

Authors Notes: thank you dear anon for sending in this request. I’ve combined this request for the @the-ss-horniest-book-club 24 hour surprise drabble and Summer Loving Challenge and I chose Rooftop bar/restaurant.

If anyone ever makes you feel this shitty, you just tell them to fuck off and mind their own business. Nobody, NOBODY has the right to degrade you for your weight or anything else for that matter. If they are bullying you, it only means there is a problem with their own reflection and it’s not actually you. You’re loved and James Buchanan Barnes loves and worships you so much.

My taglist is actually open so if you’d like to join please feel free to send me a message/ask :)

Since becoming a part of the Avenger family as their personal cook, you’ve established strong bonds with just about everyone on the team. They accepted you for who you were and never once made a disrespectful comment or snicker about your soft belly or thick thighs. Of course, it didn’t stop you from wishing you had a figure like Nat or Wanda, but the team didn’t make you feel less of a human and despite their kindness, you often still felt out of place and insecure about your weight. The one person who made you feel extra special was Bucky Barnes. During movie nights his fingers would circle your soft waist, his hugs also lasted a lot longer than what was considered necessary. Over time, the two of you became close friends. You ended up developing a small crush on him, imagining yourself waking up in his arms every morning and reminding you just how beautiful you are.

Around them, you were shy and barely spoke a word other than a good morning greeting or an ‘enjoy your meal’ as you dished out their food you had cooked. You were preparing some bacon and toast in the kitchen when James, an agent on the lower rank pranced into the kitchen, puffing his chest out and grinning at your shock of seeing him.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asks and takes a step closer, forcing you to take one step back. Your eyes flicked over his shoulder and saw 3 other of his friends snickering near the doorway.

“S-sure.” your voice croaked, ignoring the splutter from the coffee pot.

“Do you sleep in a bed like a normal human being, or do you sleep on the beach like a whale? I’m not sure where whales your size sleep.” The laughter behind James formed a lump in your throat.

“Morning folks! Uh James, you’re not supposed to be in here.” Steve walked in with his Captain America suit on and warned. His hands just above his belt as he took the burning bacon off the gas.

“Sorry Captain. Just had to ask Y/N for something.” James winked and smiled innocently at Steve. You never told anyone about the things James would say to you. They were far too embarrassing and you were secretly scared they felt the same way but just didn’t have the heart to say anything.

“No problem. Just don’t let it happen again.” Steve warned as James left, reaching up in the cupboard for a mug. He looks at you briefly, concern washes over his face as he saw you were batting tears away. “Hey are you okay? He didn’t do anything to you did he?” Steve wondered, folding his broad arms across his chest.

“No no! I’m fine really. Breakfast won’t be too long.” you lied and busied yourself in the kitchen that Tony had put in especially for your needs.

“Okay well look, if he or anyone is giving you any problems, you come to me alright? We don’t tolerate harassment here.” Steve gave your shoulder a squeeze, the words on the tip of your tongue that this has been going on for months. You want to tell Steve that but you’re hesitant and bite your tongue, just nodding and thanking the captain for caring so much. You quickly pull yourself back together and resume the task of breakfast.

Your hesitancy didn’t go amiss by Steve. He knew you wanted to say something but you were so shy he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He didn’t want you suffering either and since the team were leaving for a one month mission, he chose to ask Bucky to stay behind to keep an eye on things. Since Bucky was sidelined from an injury to his flesh arm, he wouldn’t have gone on this mission anyway.

Once breakfast to the Avengers was served and they were happy, you quickly untied the apron from around your waist and hung it on the hook. The kitchen was cleaned and you headed back to your room for a much needed shower and break. You would normally join the team for breakfast but after the question James asked, you quickly came up with an excuse why you wouldn’t be joining them today.

Your gaze was kept to the floor as you walked and your shoulder bumped into someone else’s. Before you could apologise, an obnoxious laugh pierced your ears.

“Watch where you’re going you glonk!” It was James and you sighed.

“Sorry.” you muttered and steadied yourself. Pulling your baggy shirt away from your stomach.

“Wouldn’t bother doing that. Unless you can stick a bag over your head and hide your ugly mug too.” James snickered, encouraged by the roaring laughter of his friends standing behind him, throwing the occasion comment in your face too.

“I said I was sorry!” hot tears rolled down your cheeks, leaving behind a wet streak in the process. “I’m sorry for everything!” you crumbled under the pressure. Apologising to this asshole for what exactly? For being softer than the other girls who worked in the compound? For being too shy to stand up for yourself? For not being good enough? In truth, you didn’t know why you were apologising. You were doing nothing wrong.

“Apologising won’t mean shit to me!” James taunted walking behind you and giving you a hard shove. You fall forwards, your knees hitting the hard marble floors first. Your hands stop your face from smashing against the floor.

“HEY!” a loud voice and footsteps echo through the hallway. The friends of James all scattered and ran down the hall as Bucky stalked towards you. “What the fuck are you doing?!” you recognised Bucky’s voice, of course you did. It was your favourite voice in the compound because it belonged to your crush. Bucky was a sweetheart, always making sure you felt better about yourself. He was quiet just like you, but the confidence he would give you made you feel so much better about yourself. Of course, it didn’t work so well since James started bullying you.

You peeked up. Bucky’s nostrils were flared, his jaw clenched and his eyes insanely wide, anger swirling around behind his irises. His metal arm whirring down by his side as he clenched and unclenched his fist. He saw what this jerk had done to you and no woman should be treated like that.

James remained silent, looking like a deer in headlights. Bucky wasn’t impressed by his lack of answers and with his metal arm, shoved James against the wall and his hand wrapped around his throat squeezing his windpipe slightly.

“You gonna talk now huh? Where have your fucking balls gone?” Bucky spat in his face, his flesh arm in a sling pressed against his chest.

“I- I am sorry!” James was gasping for air and Bucky eased off his throat just a little.

“How long has this been going on?” Bucky wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

As their confrontation was just getting started, you pushed yourself up off the floor ignoring the aching in your knees as you stood next to Bucky. Your hand on his metal arm to try and diffuse the situation. It was no use, Bucky hated bullies and he wasn’t going to let go of this guy’s throat until he had the answers he was asking.

“HOW LONG?!?!” Bucky roared, saliva spraying James’ face. You have never seen Bucky like this, so enraged and protective. It was almost like something or someone had woken The Winter Soldier up inside of him.

Bucky liked you a lot. He liked your soft belly, thick thighs and rosy red cheeks. Your disheveled hair in the mornings and your cooking was absolutely amazing. To him, you were the perfect wife. Without you even knowing, Bucky would often daydream about the two of you living in the country with your children and you baking some homemade pies. The two of you were like the perfect balance in his eyes, you were soft and fluffy and a sweetheart and he was damn sure no man or woman was going to ever hurt you.

“Months.” James gasped out. This angered Bucky more as he growled in his face.

“Bucky.” your voice was quiet as you pleaded with him, his eyes momentarily flicking down to yours with your soft eyes staring back at him that he loved so much. Bucky released his grip from his throat, but not before punching him square in the nose. The audible crack made you cringe and you brought your hands up to cover your mouth as blood dripped from the obvious broken nose.

“Let me tell you something you little shit. If you EVER approach Y/N again, if you EVER breathe in her direction or lay one dirty finger on her again and I promise you, not only will I break every finger on your hand and your legs but I’ll make sure you’re kicked off the team. Do you understand me you fucking asshole? You touch or speak to her ONE MORE TIME and don’t you dare test my patience.”

“Y-es Sergeant Barnes.” James was full on crying, either from the pain of his nose or the threats Bucky was spewing in his face or the combination of the two, you weren’t sure but as soon as Bucky stepped back and pulled your body close to his, James took off staggering up the hall, occasionally glancing back to make sure the winter soldier wasn’t following him, leaving droplets of blood as a trail.

“Are you alright sweetheart?” Bucky’s softer voice took you by surprise. His metal appendages stroked your warm cheeks and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

You shook her head and Bucky’s eyes narrowed. Your knees were badly bruised and he clicked his tongue. His arm wrapped around your shoulder and he walked you back to your room in silence. The anger was still radiating off him, just his very heavy breathing filling the silence. His disbelief that any human could hurt you the way James did. If you were not there, he most likely would have ripped him a new asshole. But since you weren’t a fighter, he didn’t want you scared or panicked.

When you eventually got back to your room, Bucky marveled at how beautiful, neat and tidy the space was. Books scattered over a couple of shelves and your computer neatly placed in the middle of a white desk with your pink and white office chair. You reminded him of a fluffy pink cloud with some chunks of marshmallows.

He loved the aesthetic comfort it provided.

“Wow this is so beautiful.” He complimented as you sat on the end of your bed. You smiled back sheepishly, feeling the warmth of the blush creep back up your neck and cheeks.

“Thank you.” you sighed. Bucky’s eyes were soft and so blue. You could stare into them for hours.

“You’re welcome doll. He won’t bother you again and if he does, you tell me immediately. I won’t be so kind next time.”

“I know. I’m just… ashamed.” you dipped your head and fiddled with the hem of your shirt.

“Doll, let me tell you something.” Bucky sighed as he took a seat next to you, throwing his arm back over your shoulder. Nuzzling your face into the warmth of his chest, breathing in his fresh sandalwood scent. “As a man who grew up in the really old days and a man who was given the best eyesight. I can honestly say, with my hand on my heart that you are really gorgeous, beautiful and so special. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, the fault is with him, not you. Maybe he’s jealous because he doesn’t have killer thighs or something.” you chuckled into his chest, his heart pounding against your ear.

“You think I’m special?” your question was muffled but he heard you clearly. Your eyes glancing down at his thick thighs.

“Of course I do. You’re the first person I look for when I enter a room doll.”

“Thank you Bucky. You’re just amazing in every way.” You pulled away with a triumph toothy grin on your face and pink tinted cheeks.

“Don’t have to keep thankin’ me doll. Though if you really wanna say thanks, accept my invitation and come to dinner with me tonight.” he cocked an eyebrow and your anxiety washed through you.

“Wh-where?”

“There’s this rooftop restaurant Sam recommended and I really want to go but I don’t want to go alone.” he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the hairs on the back of his neck. “Please?” and out came the puppy eyes. You chuckled and nodded your head.

“Sure. Of course.” Bucky grinned and leaned in and pressed a kiss to your rounded cheek.

“Thanks doll. I’ll pick you up at 7pm.”

A few hours later

A loud knock - metal on wood sounded at your door and you sighed, checking out your attire for this evening. After hours of wondering what to wear and taking Nat’s advice and smoothed the dress over with your hands, giving one final look in the long mirror. You slipped into your expensive heels and opened the door. You gasped, Bucky was wearing a dark navy sweater with a collar, one arm missing as he kept it under the sweater and dark clad jeans matched with his combat boots. You saw the silver chain shining around his neck and you assumed he was wearing the dog tags he recently retrieved, his hair slicked back into a low bun in the nape of his neck, a day old stubble peppered his chin and cheeks and you were tempted to run your fingertips over the prickly hairs. While you were busy ogling his attire, he was also checking you out. Your choice of dress was gorgeous and it hugged your curves just perfectly, revealing just the right amount of cleavage that Bucky knew he would have a hard time keeping his eyes off during dinner. Your makeup was nothing too crazy, opting for a natural look.

“Wow doll, you look amazing.” Bucky gulped and shifted on the balls of his feet.

“You absolutely do too, Buck.” you exchanged a smile and walked down the hall with him, occasionally stealing glances at one another. When the two of you stepped out of the elevator into the lobby, he offered his arm and you gladly took it.

The restaurant Bucky took you to was absolutely perfect. A single candle in the middle of the 2 seater table with a rose in a vase. Champagne in a bucket of ice.

“People are staring.” you stated as Bucky pulled your chair out for you. He leaned down and kissed your cheek lovingly, causing an eruption of tingles in the pit of your belly.

“Let ‘em stare. Probably just jealous because I’m with the most sexiest woman here.” he spoke nonchalantly. You giggled and hid behind your hands. The city lights illuminated both of your features as you sat and talked about everything and anything that came to mind.

Bucky told you about the new music he was listening to and how he didn’t like it. You laughed and agreed and told him to listen to some 80s with a promise you’ll personally create him a playlist. Bucky told jokes and you laughed heartily. Exchanging flirty glances and smiles every now and then. The one thing that really set your soul on fire was when you caught him glancing at your chest and licking his lips. You were grateful to Nat for the suggestion of a push up bra to push your boobs together and made a mental note to thank her later.

“I have something for you.” Bucky said, putting down his glass of champagne and reaching into his front pocket of his jeans. He pulled out a small black velvet box and put it down in front of you. He laughed at the look on your face. “Don’t worry, it’s not an engagement ring.” he clarified and you blew some air out. Picking up the little black box, you gasped when you flicked the lid open. Wedged between the slit was an expensive looking silver ring with diamonds.

“Bucky! Oh my god! What is this?” Was he sure it wasn’t an engagement ring? The two of you weren’t even dating, surely he wouldn’t.

“It’s a promise ring. I was going to give it to you on the weekend when I was hoping you’d go to dinner with me when we were alone in the compound but things changed.” his chuckle turned into a smile and you mirrored it.

“It’s absolutely gorgeous!” removing the ring from the box, you slip it onto your finger and it fits like a glove. How he guessed your size was anyone’s guess.

“Doll. I promise you that I will be here to protect you. Nobody will ever dare speak a bad word to you again. But I also promise to take care of you and make you smile and laugh every single day. I care about you so much and I mean everything I’m saying. If you’ll have me of course.”

Tears pooled in the corners of your eyes as his words sank in. He really did mean them.

“My weight. It really doesn’t bother you?” you bit your lip with your eyebrows raised.

“No it absolutely doesn’t. And if you’d let me, I’d really like to spend a long time proving it to you that I love you and your body the way it is. I’ve waited a really long time for you doll. So, will you be mine?”

“Always.” Bucky reached over and grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

“My doll.”

“My Bucky.”

“Forever your Bucky, doll. Let’s order dessert then we can go home and have some real dessert.” he winked and you chuckled, dipping your head and blushing for the hundredth time today.

Taglist: @jobean12-blog @marvelgirl7 @godofplumsandthunder @hawksmagnolia @crushedbyhyperbole @deanthedemon @sarge-barnes-sir @emilylyoness @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @littleredstarfish @kitkatd7

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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 3 years

Text

Highlights from the “All I’ve Got Is a Photograph” live stream with Phil, Joe, and Ross

DISCLAIMER: towards the end in the last half hour, my computer was lagging a lot, so I probably missed up to a solid five minutes in total. That being said, some things on here may or may not be clarified.

Joe is VERY TAN HOLY SHIT it is very attractive

Phil getting Mike Wazowskied by the chat when he first came on

all the implications that Joe is not in Dublin right now

“My name is Ross Halfin and I’ve been photographing Def Leppard for about... oh, five minutes?”

people cutting out, leaving an awkward silence, and Joe giving a solid English “Wot?”

the way Joe pronounces the word “mosquitos”

in Holland 1984 Joe left his window open and when he got home there were mosquitos all over the fucking ceiling, so he had to vacuum them off and put the trash bag like 4 blocks away so they wouldn’t come back

Joe saying that Heinz baked beans are an “English delicacy”

^^Furthermore, saying he’s eaten cold baked beans sandwiches on butter bread before

literally all three of them PLUS THE GUY WHO WORKS FOR THE VAULT seeing a photo from Euphoria era and collectively agreeing it’s from the Slang tour and no one corrected them

^^meanwhile everyone in the chat is ripping their hair out saying “IT’S EUPHORIA OMFG”

As per the infamous story where their plane dropped 2000ft in 3 seconds: there was an ashtray floating right in front of Sav, and when the plane got back to normal, it smacked him in the face

^^Joe and Phil laughing a lot at this

Joe saying he loves the bathtub photos of himself: “the shot of me in the bath has always been one of my favorites because it’s just so goofy and it sums up my personality”

Ross’s small black fluffy dog on the couch in the background

Ross saying the bathtub photos had a purpose because Joe was “hunk of the month or something”

^^ Joe laughing at that

I have yet to find out if this is true but- Joe said Slash is Bowie’s godson...??

Joe further regretting his early 90s outfits

Joe being embarrassed by this photo:

^^ (while trying not to look embarrassed) “there’s not a lot you could say about it”

^^^ furthermore explaining he was only doing that because Rik Mayall from The Young Ones was in the pit at the foot of the stage doing that at him during a rehearsal, so Joe did it back to him “sadly, Ross just so happened to be there and captured it”

Ross being the mom friend, trying to get them to behave and pay attention in order to take photos

Rick being the worst one to pay attention during photoshoots

Sav taking the longest to get dressed before a photoshoot

Phil talking about how his pants ripped onstage on the Hysteria tour and “stuff” was “hanging out”

me being once again reminded that that iconic photo of all of them in their Union Jack booty shorts and tank tops was taken less than hour away from me ;-; (not important but anyway)

Joe saying he would wear the Union Jack shorts again next year

Ross getting overly excited whenever he remembered when/where/why something was taken

Joe’s memory still being super accurate and oddly specific

Joe has one of Phil’s old guitar straps and it’s rusted from sweat, plus it’s in a drawer in his studio in Dublin

Joe retelling the story of how they met Brian May:

“hi boys, I’m Brian from Queen :D” Joe, right into the camera: NO SHITE, M8

Bri in ‘83: *plays the opening riff to photograph* Joe, internally, watching him from afar: *level up* :o

Joe- “I will forever go down in pub quiz history as the first person to sing with Queen after Fred died”

Joe eating “a bunch of greasy vegetarian food” then traveling with Robert Plant on his private plane, then “going through the most horrendous turbulence, then about ten minutes before we landed, I just BARFED all over the place”

^^Robert laughing because Joe puked everywhere and all over himself

^^Robert giving Joe one of his shirts to wear instead of the barfy one

^^It’s a black long sleeved illuminati shirt

^^Joe still has it

Joe said he recently had a knee replacement and will “probably have to get the other one done soon”

^^He blames his constant air splits for his knees being fucked up now

Joe reenacting neutral photoshoot poses and staring right into your soul through his camera

Ross confirming the “pissing into the sink” story from ‘79

Joe saying they can’t afford Ross anymore and that he needs to lower his prices and Ross cackling at this

Phil recalling a photoshoot where a seagull shat on his head and he had to go wash it off

^^Joe absolutely fucking LOSING IT it at this. I’ve never seen him laugh so hard I swear he was almost CRYING with laughter it was so adorable

Joe acknowledging how tan he looks because “I’ve been spending a lot of time in the sun these past few months- as you can tell”

^^Joe brushing his hair back so you could see his tan face

Joe saying they (the band) were “fortunate enough to avoid the virus”

Joe stole the “don’t forget us and we won’t forget you” line from (big surprise) Ian Hunter

we ALMOST got through this hour and a half live stream WITHOUT Joe advertising Mott the Hoople we were SO CLOSE GUYS

Joe blowing a kiss at the end of it

Phil thanking the fans UwU

Joe waving goodbye as the Vault closed and sounding sad when he said “cheers, see ya”

ENORMOUS thank you to @ballistic-lipstick-dream-machine for paying for a ticket and letting me watch it in real time even tho she couldn’t ilysm ;-;

#def leppard #the vault #joe elliott is a fucking dork #joe elliott #phil collen #ross halfin #all i've got is a photograph #i'm so fucking happy it was such a soul cleansing thing to watch #rachel may or may not leak it in a while #highly recommend watching #it was like 90 minutes fyi #if you don't feel like watching it then well #that's why i made this post #you're welcome #these are all the important/funny bits

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idjitlili · 3 years

Text

Hello there.

Kili x reader x obi-wan(slightly)

(Not my image)

Summary: Annoying the company with your 'sword' pretending it's not a metal sword, being unladylike. When in fact it wasn't a sword...it was a lightsaber.

Word count:6036

Warnings: Obi-wan , language, food stealing, dwarf nudity, put some clothes on!

Y/h/c= Your home country.

It was no secret, that you weren't from middle earth, with your strange speech, strange references, oh and the simple fact that you had fallen from the sky knocking Kili right out. Not just Kili but yourself before. You would've been quite embarrassing; if you were awake. Lucky you.

When you eventually you did awake, you were surrounded by below average height men , and man with a grey hair and wizards hat. One of the smaller men? Or dwarf you weren't sure if this was even real, it was strange to see such shorter men. His hair dark, shoulder length, not styled well compared to all the others, as for his beard..it was just stubble. The other men had long braided beards.

Yet there sat this man, very different to the others , barely with it, like he had hit his head, there you felt it , your head felt like your brain was going to pop out. You noticed , a smaller fellow jumping behind the small man to see, his curly blond her upon his head, was all to be seen.

The man that looked right out of a wrestling ring, glared at you , judging you, as did the one with ocean eyes and majestic hair. You hands behind you in the dry dirt, your heart beating heavily, shaking almost. "Uhm, w-what is h-" you didn't even get a sentence out before you were interrupted by the beardless short man.

"Well you fell out of the sky and fell on me, knocking me straight out." The man was not quite happy, "uhm, I guess I'm sorry? I didn't plan from falling from the sky, I'll try next time to see where I'm falling, but oh right, I never consented to be thrown from the sky, last time I was conscious I was- actually I do not remember." Blabbering on, even though really you should be terrified.

In the end , Gandalf and Thorin questioned you, as if they were Holt and Terry, Gandalf being Terry.

"Where do you come from, human?" The mans face frowning, the same as he had as you awoke, he spoke with sternly, as if you were a threat. Extremely intimidating. Now the others had left ,as you now sat in front of the two men.

"Uh, y/h/c." Their clothing didn't sit right with you, nor did you ever see anyone with such extreme hair styles. Maybe it was a cult? The old man , and the slightly younger man looked at each other , then back to you , clearly confused, well the younger one anyways.

"Tell me dear, have you ever heard of Erebor?"

Thus, for whatever reason you were apart of this dwarven company, as it were. No one was sure what in gods earth caused you to be here, well there's no 'God' in middle earth, not called God anyways.

Honestly, you didn't know what to do with yourself: no blankets, no spare clothes, no nothing except you , your thin graphic t-shirt, jeans and shoes. Thorin was definitely no help, oh yes and no money. Who would accept plastic notes as currency here? Nor were coins from where you lived were made from gold.

Oh wait you did actually have something other than you and your clothes , you had tiny little sword, which was in fact just an letter opener, you must've been opening the post before you fell out of the sky.

Not only was it awkward between you and all the dwarves, you did not fit in. Oh yes, Gandalf explained to you that elves and wizards existed, basically explained everything. Thorin had decided this was the place they would rest for the night, so you didn't have to do any travelling... except from falling out of the sky.

You could only think, it must suck to shit squatting, oh yes you'd have to face shitting the forest soon enough... without toilet paper too. It is not even like you can be certain that no one is going to walk into the forest and find you shitting or even worse no pads bleeding out.

You were definitely not looking forward to that, since there was no confirmation that you'd be getting home anytime soon.

So, now as the day grew dark, you sat against a large rough pine tree, the cold from the ground rising up your body. Knees pulled right up to your chest, your arms tight around, as goose bumps covered you like paint covers a wall. Hair dropping down your face as you leaned forward head on top of your knees.Staring at your feet, and the ground.

You thought on what your family must think, maybe it was like the labyrinth and they had forgotten that you had even existed. Bloody hell, Jareth, you didn't even wish for this to happen.

Not breaking out of thought when three pairs of boots, and a pair of overly large hair feet, were stood in front of you. "Lass?" Even then, you didn't realise, only noticing their presence when a hand was placed onto your shoulder.

Only then did you realise, looking up to see the the beardless man that you knocked out, somehow, another man with a hat , the other below average height man that looked like lion cross Seth rogen , and the jumping small fellow. "O-oh hi?" Strange that's the only way you could put it, the two brunettes grinning largely down at you.

"Excuse their bad manners, my lady. That is Kili, my brother , Bofur, and this little fellow is Bilbo Baggins... Oh right, and I am Fili at your service." Each of them doing a little bow, Bilbo's face redden a little , being called little. What did he expect, 'Oh yes, this giant fellow with the fat ass is Bilbo.' Them staring at you waiting for you to introduce yourself.

"Uh, I'm y/n." Standing up , daring to do a small curtsey, with a small blush, surprised really that anyone had even approached you.

"Beautiful name, perfect, I guess I'm falling for you already, miss y/n , you know since you knocked me out."

You almost blushed at the m-Kili's words, now blushing in embarrassment. "I didn't me-" "he's only messin' with yer, lass, don't yer worry," The hatted dwarf know as Bofur had smiled at you, only to get a jab in the side by kili, only for him to return it twice as hard.

"I'm sorry, miss y/n? I'm just wondering about your clothing-" Bilbo had began to questions your clothing choice, only to be interrupted, bad manners? Definitely. "Yes, those pants are very lovely, can you do a spin-" "OI," A big muscly man, the one that had glared at you earlier had smacked the beardless dwarf on the back of his head, letting out a Yelp of pain.

"What I was going to say, before I was rudely interrupted was, are you not cold? You are barely dressed!" You had choked out a snort, at the hobbit , who had glared at Kili, he really did not like dwarves interrupting, well anyone, he's not racist.

"I'm not dressed? You've got no socks on! My mum would have scolded me, even if I just got out of the bath. 'Y/n, where's your socks! You are going to get ill! Y/n, I don't care if you have just sat down, go get your bloody socks on.' " Starring back at you feet, now stretched across the mud, it was incredibly awkward, well until they had started laughing.

"That's just like our Amad, right, fee?" Kili had called to his brother, before sitting down on the mud near you. "Oh yes, remember when Amad told you not eat all that cake-" Looking over to Kili who's face flushed red, interrupting his brother.

"Don't you dare." Bofur , Fili and Bilbo sat down, you sat in a circle, Fili trying to hold back from laughing. "Well ye gotta tell us now,Fili." Bofurs hand supported his head eager for Fili to continue. Bilbo the same, he loved stories. Kili's pleading eyes, were no match for his brother.

"Alright, so he ate all the cake, this stuff was heavily creamed, sweets covered it, it could feed 12 dwarves, that's saying a lot. Our Amad strictly told us, mostly Kili, not to eat it."

Fili's moustache braids jiggled as he talked, very distracting, letting out a small chuckle while talking a breath. "Anyways, Amad woke up in the morning, she was not happy at all, she had yelled so loud, that me, Kili, and Thorin were awoken from upstairs. All three of us rushed down the stairs, to see the table with no cake, just the plate. Amad stood there with her face redder than a smacked bosom, hands on her hips."

Kili face now in his hands, Fili grinning larger and larger by the second. " She had looked all three of us done, before calling Kili towards him, and it was dreadfully obviously his hair had cake crumps throughout it, he got scolded so bad."

"Is that it ," Bilbo was disappointed with the outcome, he had thought it would've been more suspenseful. "No master Baggins, Thorin later took us for training with Dwalin as well as many other viewers. Basically what happened was Dwalin threw him over his head and he landed on the floor, when he finally tried to stand up he let loose the loudest wet fart. Then, he stood up and the back of his pants were covered, and out the ends of his trousers... he had to walk home like that."

Bursts of laughter had erupted through the circle, Kili just looked horrified with his brother, placing your hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up to you, with a sad smile.

"Don't feel bad, someone I knew yawned up to the sky and a bird shat in her mouth, to make matters worse she was afraid to tell anyone so she spat it out, and stood there with bird shit taste."

Looking at you wide eye, "T-they did what?"

"A bird shat in their mouth."

"Such crude language, yet suddenly I feel much better." Kili smiling up to you, the other three still laughing about Kili's shitty pants.

A friendship between you and the dwarf ,you knocked out, began. Over the months you had gotten more comfortable with the company.

Soon enough you were all captured by trolls, but you were sleeping so, you woke up and everyone was packing to leave. You were very confused indeed, Thorin had announced that you all were leaving for a troll cave.

Gandalf had merged after Thorin with two swords , calling you and Bilbo over. Wow, free stuff.

What Gandalf had not expected was your behaviour later on at Rivendell... Bathing and changing at Rivendell, eating some rabbit food, it was soon time for second dinner and after that bed.

Roaming the grounds of Rivendell the next month, you had bumped into Bilbo. That's when it started, you had already been messing with your sword. When Bilbo had approached you, seeing your cheeky grin he didn't know whether to run.

"M-morning ,miss y/n?" Speaking uncertain of himself, partly nervous, you had been pretty unpredictable, you know falling out the sky?

"Morning ,Bilbo! How are you feeling?" Swinging your sword in like it was baton or baseball bat, almost dropping flat on your face.

"I'm fine , thank you. Uh..." The sword now between your legs, swinging it around. "Bilbo look, it's my cock." Bilbos face now red, your crude language tended to fluster the poor hobbit, sorry the rich hobbit.

"Miss y/n, I do not think that's quite appropriate.." You head snapping towards the hobbit, your face dropped, instantly Bilbos mouth is gapped. "Oh- I didn't mean any offence." Taking a step forward, Bilbo had stepped back , another and another.

Bilbo had ended up sprinting , you chasing him, well until an elf had offered you pastry's. Continuing your walk around the grounds, munching on your pastry, distracted by your breakfast you didn't notice the dwarf in front of you until the last second.

"Where's your trousers?!" You had made eye contact with something other than his eyes, it was painfully obvious. Meeting his actual eyes, the smirk on his face, concluded that he had seen you check him out, flushed pink cheeks.

"Fili took my clothes."

"Why would he want to see you running around naked,-cover up gosh!" Your voice getting higher by the second.

"Well, my lady with what?" You had thrown your pastry at the dwarf, now quite put off; even though his size was quite large. Instead covering himself he began to eat the remaining amount of the pastry.

You had scoffed, walking around the dwarf, away from his naked body.

What did catch you off guard again was a man popping out from a pillar , his longish hair blond, his eyes ocean blue, his beard trimmed, his shirt beige , with a brown leather belt around his waist. You didn't know how to describe it, you jumped when he spoke.

"Hello there,"

How could be here? In a land of dwarves, elves and wizards? It was Obi-wan Kenobi, surely he should've been in the high ground? I mean, chopping some legs...so Anakin is leg a less, because his legs Aragorn.

"General Kenobi!" Kili had to turned around, to see you running at a strange man, who was General Kenobi, turning back round he had stomped off back to the company... to gossip.

"What are you doing here, Obi-wan?" His arms held behind his back as you two walked through Rivendell together, the truth was that you had never met before.

"I'm here because of you, y/n...the Council has sent me to help you. The universe is in great danger, again."

Then, you found out your real purpose was in middle earth; to save the line of Durin, With Obi-wan Kenobi as your master you as the pad awan. However, of course you did not have the force, he was just going to teach you how not to be damsel in distress.

You didn't know how this would bring you so close to the Jedi knight..

Obi-wan, had hid until half a day from Rivendell, when you had gestured him to come out, Kili had let out the most over dramatic gasp possible. "I told you he was real!"

That definitely caught the attention of the whole company, stopping, turning , drawing there weapons, Fili pulling you out the way.

"Why are you following us?" Thorins voice boomed over the winds, you couldn't imagine how your eardrums would certainly burst if he had a microphone. Getting of the grips of the dwarves again, standing between Obi-wan and the axes of the company.

Little Bilbo just watched the slope of the mountain with amusement. "What are you doing, y/n?!"

"You stubborn dwarves, if I was walking with him with no fuse, you'd think that he was with me, he's here to help me." Kili had scoffed, nor did any of other dwarves look convinced, Obi-wans hands on his hips, puffing his chest, revealing his lightsaber.

"I've had enough, I don't care what you say Thorin, he is my protection, he's not taking any of the reward, now let's go, he is not the enemy." Maybe you told a small lie, it would not go down well if Thorin knew Obi-wan was there to protect him and his nephews.

"At the front, both of you, now." And you were walking again, you and Obi-wan at the front.

Though, all together you were from three different universes, you from one which starwars was just a set of films, and series. It felt weird. Knowing he died, old, and he didn't look himself.

"Wait, so, Qui-Gon basically died of STDs, because he so many that it slowed him down? I thought it was a rule not have attachments; but he could sleep around?" I mean, if that's the case... you are very handsome, I'm not the best looking, nor have I ever.."

Your face felt hot, that was more than light flirting, really you had only known him for 27 hours, your crush on him though, that developed from watching him on screen.

Now concentrating on where you were going, surprised when Obi-wan had let out a laugh.

"My lady, you must be mistaken, you are absolutely beautiful." Your face flushed pink, wrapping your arm around Obi-wan's arm, his eyes watched you as you did, not hilding hands or anything just his arm. There are times in life when words are not needed.

Soon enough it was time to stop, when the company approached a large path on the mountain, so big that the company could sit in a circle if they desired. Along the way many of the dwarves had collected sticks and branches for a fire.

Right against the mountain wall you had set up your bed roll, and dropped your cloak from the elves on it as a blanket, you were sure to remember to share with Obi-wan later. Obi one had copied you, dropping his cloak neck to yours, as you both stood next to each other, the sky now dark, the smell of dinner lingered in the air.

The glow of the fire lit up Obi-wan's face, his beard now more orange, his blue eyes focused on you.

"Hey, um, Obi-wan...can I hold your lightsaber?" His hands on his beige tunic, eyeing you down, one of a second, before handing you the weapon.

The lightsaber, heavy in your hands, yet still you were swinging it like you were playing tennis on the wii. "Um, Obi, can I please..?" Turning to face the Jedi with pleading eyes, he just shrugged his shoulders casually nodding.

With that you had pressed the button, there stood the blue blade in front of your very eyes. Bilbo had noticed almost immediately spitting out his food, who in their right mind would give her a weapon?

Noticing Bilbos sudden uncomfortableness, grinning at him, as the saber made its way between your legs. "Hey Bilbo,Check out how big my dick is!" Bilbo had put his bowl of food down, and his behind Thorin, brooding.

"Uhm, lass? What is that?" Bofur wearily, spoke, eyeing the saber not blinking,like many other dwarves. Balin flinching as you waved it between your legs.

"It's a lightsaber, the weapon of Jedi's. Hey, Kili, sorta looks like your dick ,if it was a hundred times smaller. " Not that you were looking at Kili, his face flushed as he chocked out his stew, Thorins eyes burning into the back of the head, he would speak to him later.

"Oi, when did you get a look at Kees , lad?" Fili wan most amused at the situation, Kili knocking him in the ribs.

"Well , what happened was I got a pastry at Rivendell, and Kili almost whacks into me. Yeah, and he was naked, so, not that I like to give away food, I throw the pastry at him and Obi-wan appears and saves me. End of story."

Now swinging the lightsaber like it was a golf club, you wondered if Obi-wan had to charge his lightsaber. Kili now standing up , walking over to you as the dwarves forget about the story, simply because it wasn't rare that they went around naked.

"Oi, Kili , throw that stick at me, so I can hit it."

Kili had planned on telling you a piece of his mind, how his dick was not small, but there you were not a care in the world, waiting for him to pick up the stick.

His eyes searched the stone floor when his eyes catch, a thick stick not a twig. Without a thought he threw it, your eyes waiting, standing like you were going to play baseball or rounders. Swinging your arm slicing through the stick, causing it to slam to the floor in two separate pieces.

"I'm sorry, but what in middle earth is a Jedi and why do they have that, what even is that!"

Obi-wan just stood by you chest puffed, huge smirk on his face, as Kili ranted slightly , fear embedded in his eyes as he stood back as you swung the weapon around more, it was not surprising that the company were also in slight shock.

"This man is a Jedi." Pointing at Obi-wan before turning fully towards him, ignoring the others questions. "Okay, now teach me, master..." A grin across your face, as Obi-wan took the saber from your hands, turning it off, before standing behind you.

Turning your back into place, your feet in the correct stance, his back against yours as ushered you take your sword from his hands. His hot breath briefly against your neck. Once you had done, his back peeled from yours, and he had done the same.

Throughout the next months, Obi-wan had continued to teach you how to defend yourself

, Kili always disagreeing on Obi-wand methods, suggesting he would be better to teacher you.

That was until you were all captured at Mirkwood. Of course, Obi-wan tried to use the force on the elves, however , due to being immortal they weren't easily controlled. Somehow he did it still, only allowing you and him to escape, due to being human. What you didn't understand though, why was Obi-wan such a flirt.

The blond elf, the one that looked straight off like a princess, had stared at you and Obi-wan with his eyebrows raised. His light foot steps, couldn't be heard as he glided towards you both, standing close to Obi-wan, as the dwarves were search. Legolas excluding you two from it, using the side of your body to hide the lightsaber at Obi-wan's belt.

"Why are two humans travelling with dwarves?" Was this elf wearing tights? David Bowie could get away with it because that ass and overall god looks, but the colour scheme on this blond elf was not it. Wondering if his dick could even breathe, maybe it shrank.

Looking at Obi-wan, who was smouldering at the elf, his lips slightly pushed out his blue eyes sharp, his long hair flowing. But..there was no wind. His hand doing a weird gesture like waving.

"We are not, we are trying to get lake town, as I have finally decided to meet my darlings parents. You will let us go." You were surprised when Obi-wan had wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close to him. Your eyes wide, you really didn't think you were going to get out of this, how many times had you all been captured? Too many times.

"Go, follow the path, goodbye." Obi-wan had quickly let go of your waist , talking your hand, pulling you away, false smiles on your faces as you left. Trying not raise suspicion, Kili had watched the whole thing, scoffing in disgust, watching you and Obi-wan walking away.

You wanted to help the dwarves you really did;but Obi-wan had assured you they didn't need your help. You both waiting in the safe forest outside of the woodland realm, waiting for the dwarves.

Not only had Obi-wan had taught you basic defensive skills, but you had became extremely close. Here you were, stuck in a forest, no bedrolls no nothing, due to Azog. Nights were cold, so cold, as Obi-wan's duty to protect you, you both decided for your survivals there was only one way.

The fire low, so that you would not be detected by Orcs, Obi-wan and you snuggling up together, his arms around your waist, knees tucked under yours. Body heat being the only thing from stopping you both freezing to death.

During this week, what disturbed you the most, was Obi-wan's french accent...Considering there was no earth in the star-wars universe. If that matter you weren't sure. He'd pop the accent out at random moments, going to bathe in a stream?

"Do you need a chaperone, mon amour?" No, he did not go in the water with you, he just stood guard, holding his arm out to walk you to the stream and even back. Though you did have to wait by the stream while he was bathing , with his lightsaber in your hand, just in case.

However,one day when you you were bathing Obi-wan had almost had a heart attack when you let a gasp, running out of the hair all across your face, running smack into him. Your bare body against his robes, soon as he made eye contact with you he knew it was nothing life threatening.

"When I said 'You don't have time to be timid, you must be bold and daring' this was not what I mean." Obi-wan's stuck to yours , reassuring your privacy, even though his back was against the mud , your whole body pressed against him. Again with the accent, Obi-wan's smile small, your hands against his chest, as laugh erupted from your mouth.

"What is, Ma Cherie?"

"Only reason I'm laying on you butt naked is because a fish brushed against my leg." Obi-wan's once sincere face replaced with a grin you snuffled your laughter against his neck. Your cold skin against his , as vibrations travelled through his body, a laugh from his lips travelling to your ears. A few minutes passed, with you just against Obi-wan as you laughed together.

"This would be very embarrassing ,if the company found us now."

"I'll close my eyes, and you can go get dressed,"

That was it with that, Obi wan would never disrespect your modesty, it is not like when Kili had shown off on purpose.

The next day, you had caught up with the company and an injured Kili. However, the french accent was not lost...

Kili's faced laced with sweat, as you and Obi-wan made your way to the compan, his eyes met yours. He felt relieved that you had came back, yet anger still bubbled down in inside.

"I thought ye had left us." Bofur popping up infront of you two, his eyebrow raise.

"No, figured from I heard about that king , it was not the best if he had got a hold of Y/n, it is my mission to protect y/n." Bofur , along with Gloin, Dori and few others nodded in agreement.

Your eyes drifting from Obi-wan's face, back to Kili, his thigh seeping with blood,you had grabbed Obi-wan by the hand pulling him over with you towards Kili. Obi-wan meeting your eyes once again, confused with your actions. "Obi.. help him."

Letting go of your hand, Obi-wan had brought his hand over the wound, Kili tried to protest, only to be shut down by Fili. Kili felt tugging on his skin, the pain slowly disappearing, a few seconds late Obi-wan had remove his hand, stood up, made his way back to you. "W-what? H-how did you?"

This is what you and Obi-wan were sent here to do, save the line of Durin. After that, not even seconds Bard had arrived, the company was on their way again, no delays, except being caught by the master, which kind of annoyed

Obi-wan, getting to be called that without being a Jedi , disgraceful.

After that, it was one more boat ride away, and climbing more mountains. Within three hours , you feet began to blister, the knocks harsh, you wondered how Bilbo could do it, he was a happy chappy. Obi-wan next to you, had immediately picked up on you change. His eyes caught onto yours like a magnet, within seconds you were on his shoulders, hanging. Just like Anakin had carried him unconscious, he could've carried you anyway way but he decided on potato sack really?

"B-Ben!" The little shriek had erupted from your mouth in surprise, in reality it sounded like he had just made you orgasm. Your face flushed, as Obi-wan grip tightened around your thigh. "Yes, Ma Cherie?" Again with Obi-wan doing the french accent, letting out a groan.

"Never mind." For the next three hours you are carried on Obi-wan's shoulders, you couldn't imagine how his back feels. There's no negotiating with the negotiator. Your stomach ached from just being on his back. You did get to sleep for a while, which was great.

“Obi, I can walk now." Your face next the side of his face, softly speaking to him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." With that you were back on the ground, walking with the rest of the company, though you didn't speak to many of the other dwarves much, you found yourself away from Obi-wan and in the company of Fili, who had left the company of his brother. Your conversation had started out normal, Fili telling you about the Elves, and Bilbo saving them.

"Are you courting the man?" Eyes widening at the dwarves words, it was no doubt that you had liked him watching him on screen, but no way he had made advances, had he? He could not, it's not the Jedi way. Why did he flirt with you all the time. As you two grew close, you felt you chest tightening, you could feel that way. Just months ago you had felt the same for Kili, but then Obi-wan had appeared.

"No, why do you ask?" Your face felt hot, unbearably hot, embarrassed that you had been clearly flirting back to Obi-wan.

"It's just that my brother... don't know if you have noticed he has been not himself, and well I think it's because of you and Obi-wan." Fili whispered to you, you could barely hear him, but when you did make out what he was saying, why would Kili not himself because you and Obi-wan, had you offended him some how?

"What do you mean? Why would it be our fault?" It was not appropriate but a chuckle still left his lips, Fili could not understand how you could be so blind.

"You and Obi-wan flirt publicly a lot..." Then it hit you, the reason Kili could barely look at you anymore, you had not really ever have someone like you let alone possibly two. Blush upon your cheeks, "Oh.."

"Now, you must understand, y/n , if you don't feel for him, you must put him down, do you love Obi-wan?" Turning you face back to look at Obi-wan, who had been watching his steps, as he talked to Bilbo, who seemed to be deep into conversation. When Obi-wan's blue eyes had finally caught yours, his lips had turned up in a smile, before you turned back to the blond haired dwarf.

Fili's moustache braids jigging, as you all walked, waiting for your response.

"Jedi's aren't allowed attachments; it would never work out."

“Do you love him?” Repeating the same question, how could you know if you loved him, why would it matter it would never work out, Fili clearly didn’t want his brother heartbroken because you couldn’t decide.

“I d-don’t know, Fee,”

“Do you love Kili?”

“Really, Fili, I don’t know.”

Fili, had suggested to speak to Kili later, what if you only loved Obi-wan platonically?

Once Thorin had stopped the company for the night, and when the sky was dark. Only the glow of the fire upon your faces, Fili had left his brother on a log, making eye contact with you, gesturing for you to swap with him. Sitting upon the rough log, thighs touching, Kili had turned slightly jumping when realising it was you, his brown eyes now looking to yours with the flame of the fire reflected into them. His face with no expression at all, he didn’t even say anything to you. A string of pain, flowed through your heart, you hadn’t realised how you hadn’t spoken to Kili in months, properly anyways.

You had wrapped your arms around Kili neck, your cold flesh against Kili’s neck, as you pulled him into a tight hug, slowly he had accepted it. Wrapping his arms around your waist tightly, his head in the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply, his dark hair, tickling your neck.

“I’m sorry, Kili.” Pulling away, Kili brows scrunched together, his dark eyes searching your face, he thought he had done something wrong, and was going you space, also think mostly that you and Obi-wan were courting. However, Fili had informed him that you were not courting, he wished he could scold his older brother, for being nosy.

“W-why?” He had been jealous of your behaviour towards Obi-wan no doubt about that, but you shouldn’t have to apologise for his feelings, you could like anyone you wanted, you are beautiful, bodaciously so.

“Because I haven’t spoken to you for months, it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s just...you promise not to repeat this to anyone, especially your uncle?” Kili knew it, you didn’t like him, but his uncle? Yuck, he couldn’t be mean to you though, you were nothing but nice to him. Instead he just nodded, with a small smile.

“Thank you..the real reason why Obi-wan and I were sent here, well is to keep the line of Durin alive, must have a big effect on all the universes otherwise, two people from separate universes would not have been sent. So, we’ve been keeping this secret, it’s been hard, that’s why I spend so much time with Obi-wan.”

Kili’s eyes never left yours, as you spoke, taking a deep breath before you continued on, you were scared for the safety of your friends, Thorin didn’t care what you were doing , because you and Obi-wan were quiet and kept to yourselves, he saw how effective in battle Obi-wan was and didn’t complain. He needed the man power, there was no doubt about that.

“If I am totally honest, I do love Ben, and if he was allowed to be with me, I wouldn’t be with him, it’s not the way of the Jedi. He is my best friend, that is a gentleman, I’m sorry, but his back must’ve killed carrying me like a sack of potatoes. Plus, when we were waiting for you... I was having a bath, he was on guard and fish brush against me, I went running, fell flat on him, that was definitely not a pretty sight for hi-“

“You what?” Kili was scared to know what you were getting and frankly disturbed that Obi-wan had seen you vulnerable. You had reached and gripped his, large dwarven hand, tightly, rough, yet so warm...

“ Doesn’t matter, he was very respectful. Anyways, what I was getting at Kili, is that.. I c-can’t live within you...I love you, not platonically either, I understand if you don’t feel the same for me. I wouldn’t if I was you.” Before you could blink , his soft lips upon your, your hands in you his hair pulling him close, his hands back around his waist.

You finally felt certain of something.

Bonus:

Kili was not the slightest happy when you accidentally cut a lock of his hair off with the saber.

“Hey, Ben, can I cut your hair too?”

“Fuck off, I’m the only Jedi left with good hair, you touch it you’ll become a baked potato.”

“Okay I’m sorry!”

“mon Cherie , I could never harm you, for I love you like a dog.”

“Oi, stop flirting.” Kili had interrupted, petting his burnt detached hair.

“He just called me a dog, that’s not flirting,”

#obi wan fluff #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit x reader #hobbit imagine #hobbit imagines #the hobbit imagines #Kili x reader #kili x you #kili imagines #kili imagine #kili x y/n #the hobbit kili #kili the dwarf #hobbit x you #hobbit x y/n #obi wan imagine #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #crossover

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twelve-twelve-eleven · 4 years

Text

I’ve Had Enough - Rafe Cameron

caution: rafe x reader, drug addiction, swearing, children, teen pregnancy, yelling, flashbacks on “doing it” with rafe and the aftermath, vomit, kinda toxic relationship??

a/n: OKAY WAIT HIII. This is my first ever writing piece and i literally thought about this idea while i was falling asleep. it will probably be absolute SHAT, so don’t be surpirsed if it is. plus, my spelling and grammar is doo doo. i dont know that much about cocaine addiction, im trying my best jsyk! lets pretend that rafe isn’t a murderer, and that rafe and you are +18.

Part 2 Part 3

words: 1.1k

outline: rafe and you moved in together after your second child was born. but of course, rafe’s addiction didn’t ease up. in fact, it go worse. you finally broke out after having to deal with it for more than 2 years.

“baby!” you yelled out from you and rafe’s bedroom, holding your head in your hands to try and focus on the schoolwork on your desk. no response came back as marie, your 1 year old daughter, kept on crying. you scoffed and pushed yourself up, walking into the living room where you last saw rafe. as you went through the bedroom door frame, you saw rafe bent down above the coffee table, a snorting sound coming from him. anger filled your body.

“rafe!” you yelled out, louder to get his attention. he whipped his head up, white powder littering under his nostrils. you stormed up to him as he looked around, getting familiar again with his surroundings. you leaned in and looked into his eyes, recognizing the symptoms. you shook your head and sat up as rafe finally looked at you. you stormed into the crying baby’s room, looking at your 4 year old son, spencer trying to shush her. you leaned over the crib rail and took her into your arms, bobbing her up and down.

rafe was a hook up that you didn’t know would turn into a future relationship because of a child. rafe saw you at the boneyard and immediately took a liking to you. he wanted to get into your pants, see how you moaned and how you screamed his name, he wanted to know every single curve of your body like the back of his hand. what was surprising was that you were a pogue, and he was a kook. to be honest, you were kinda tipsy, so things weren’t registering right. all you remember was a heated make out session behind a tree, then you woke up naked in rafe’s bedroom. rafe didn’t spread about what he did to you, which was new of him. he felt something different about you. he wanted to make a relationship with you, he wanted to know other than how you were in bed.but he never told anyone about it, even you. y’all went on hooking up here and then, from time to time.

until, you started feeling sick when you went on the HMS Pogue. you didn’t get motion sickness at all, so you just thought that the food that you ate was bad. but then, it started to happen everyday. you running to the bathroom every morning you woke up to spill your guts. you started to get scared, and avoided rafe at all costs. you still hung out with the pogues, but had to sneak away to the bathroom every time you felt it coming. you felt the need to take a test, and so you did. surprise, surprise, it came out positive. you panicked and didn’t tell anyone, still not having any contact with rafe. the first people to find out were the pogues, kiara noticing your baby bump. telling them who the baby daddy was was hard, since y’all didn’t like the kooks at all. they were very disappointed, but said they would support you all the way through.

“calm down baby, you’re okay.” you shushed marie tenderly and walked out her room. rafe now had his arms spread across the back of the couch, slouching in his seat. “you still have kids, rafe.” you said. he grumbled and threw his hand up, bending it. as you went into the kitchen to get formula, you heard a sound come from the living room. you turned around and saw rafe leaning up against the bar, separating the living room from the kitchen and dining room. you huffed and walked over to rafe, helping him to the couch once again. “you need to stop, this is getting out of hand.” you lightly put him down back where he was. “don’t tell me what to do.” he mumbled back. you pulled back, pulling marie close. “what did you say?” your eyes narrowed at rafe. “don’t tell me what to fucking do!” he yelled out, his face turning red.

“i take care of this fucking family while you go to barry’s with our rent money to get more drugs!” you yelled, not holding yourself back. all the anger you built up after multiple times seeing rafe like this finally showed. the continuous screams from both of y’all were drowning out the scared cries of your children. tears were streaming down your face, but you stood still, holding marie closer. as rafe was screaming at you, you felt a grip on your leg. you quickly looked down, a tear dropping onto the carpet. there you found spencer hugging your leg as tight as a 4 year old could. seeing him like that, screaming and crying, tore up a piece of your heart. you knew they shouldn’t have heard this, seen it or be anywhere need it. so, you didn’t let rafe finish what he was talking about. you went into you and rafe’s room and grabbed your phone and your car keys. he stepped into the door way, still expressing his thoughts loudly. your vision was blurry from your tears, but you quickly wiped your eyes with your extremely shaky hands to see what you were doing on your phone.

“what are you doing?” he asked, cutting off what he was last talking about. “hey baby? whats up?” the female voice said. “who is that?” rafe said, stepping closer to you. “get back, rafe!” you exclaimed out. “y/n, what is happening?” her tone became concerned and worried. “mom, i can’t anymore.” you replied, your voice cracking. “y/n, talk to me!” yelled out rafe. you sniffled, and tried your best to go around rafe’s size. spencer’s hand was in yours, holding onto your finger. “baby, please!” he begged as you slipped past him. “can you please meet me at ihop?” you asked, walking toward the door. “y/n, please don’t do this! we can talk it out, just please!” rafe grabbed your waist, turning you toward him. “don’t touch me!” you cried out, jiggling the front door handle. the expression on his face showed the guilt he had just put on himself by how he acted. “yes, yes i’m on my way right now.” she said before ending the call. you finally got the door to open, and you quickly slipped through. you put the phone in your back pocket, ignoring rafe’s begs. “w-where are we going, mommy?” spencer asked quietly, still crying. “don’t worry about it, baby.” you said, your lip quivering. you pulled him up into your arms, and his tiny head turned around.

“what about daddy?” he said. “he’ll be fine, but we’re going to see gigi, okay?” you said, looking at him. he looked at you and nodded his head slowly, tear streaks going down his cheeks. a sob left your lips, seeing your child that scared and hurt. he’ll be fine, he’ll be fine.

OMG WAIT IM SCARED. PART 2??? I HOPE THIS IS GOOD IM SORRY IF ITS CRAP <3333

#rafe #rafe x y/n #rafe x reader #rafe x you #rafe obx #rafe cameron #outer banks

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samwilsonsbabymama · 3 years

Note

“She said what? Right. Hold on, hold on. I know, I know. Listen, pack an overnight bag and take the boys.” Y/n stepped closer to him, scared to know what was happening.

”What happened?” Bucky asked, seeing Sam in clear distress.

“Karli called Sarah. She threatened my nephews.” Y/n froze in place before she started breathing heavily, rage becoming her dominant emotion. “Okay. Go somewhere safe. Only pay cash. All right? Tell me when you arrive. I know. Look, I love you. I’ll never let anything happen to you and the boys. Okay. Bye.” Sam hung up and Y/n was looking at him expectantly. “Karli wants to meet. She left a contact number.”

“I’m. Going. To kill her.” Y/n said quietly. The Wilson’s were the only people she had left. The only people she could call her family. Sure she had friends, some new, some old, some really old, but she had lost the only other semblance of family she had left. The text notification caught her attention.

“She said come alone.” Y/n started laughing, both men nearly shat her pants. She only laughed like that when claws were bared and lives were about to end.

“I’m coming with you.” Bucky interjected, mostly for buffering reasons.Y/n might actually have the abilities to beat the crap out of Karli but that probably wouldn’t have been helpful. It might be a sight to see, considering Y/n wasn’t a super on an enhanced in any way shape or form and could still probably beat the ever living crap out of Karli and the other Flagsmashers (hell Y/n could probably mop the floor with the Dora Milaje) but that wouldn’t solve anything.

“Karli! You called my sister? That’s how we’re gonna play this?” Sam was first in the little courtyard.

“I would never hurt her. I wanted to understand you better. I see you, um, didn’t come alone.” Karli spoke as she eyed Y/n and Bucky.

“Listen, you little brat. I was on your side for the most part here. But I swear to god, if you think I’m letting you hurt them, I will slap those damn freckles off of your face.” Bucky was quick to restrain her, before she actually did anything to Karli.

Karli don't stand a chance lol

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whole-lotta-hoes · 3 years

Text

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

#led zeppelin #robert plant #jimmy page #john paul jones #john bonham #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic

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futurewriter2000 · 4 years

Text

Flowers don’t grow in the dark - pt.1

A/N: New serie is opening and I am quite excited for how it started. Hope you like it.

REQUEST:hiii! I’m here dear to ask you if your requests are open? And if they are, could you write a sirius x reader where reader gets send to Azkaban instead of Sirius? if you can’t or don’t want to write it, I totally understand! but still thank you!

It was a sacrifice. A sacrifice you thought was better for you than for him. At that time, you thought how worse can Azkaban really be?

Worse...the worst.

Azkaban was a place. It was a normal, stone built prison. A simple building. It was what was inside that really killed you.

The first day you came into the prison cell, you sat down in a dark corner, hugged your knees and watched through the bars.

Fifteen years later and you’re still in the same position. Your eyes never left the spot they first landed on. Your body hasn’t moved, not an inch when the soul-sucking guards came to suck all the light of you.

You have never looked them in the eyes. Never. You kept your eyes on the same spot for 15 years and you? You were gone from this Earth the moment you realized there is nobody going to save you.

Until an explosion happened and suddenly you were in another corner, lying on the floor and widely looking at the hole that was created. The moon was almost full and it’s light was too bright for your eyes.

Yet through every sore muscle, every dark thought and your blinded sight, you smiled.

Not because you were suddenly seeing light for the first time in 15 years but because finally, you were saved and you? You were free.

---

Harry Potter was sitting on the stairs with his best friends and the other Weasley family members, listening to little mumbles that came from the living room.

“What do you reckon they’re talking about?” said one of the twins.

“Me, probably.” replied Harry.

“Shh.” shushed Ginny as she crawled closer to the door.

“Sirius stop pacing around!” they heard Moody’s shout. “You don’t know that she’s coming for Harry!”

“You’re bloody right she might not!” Arthur raised his voice and all of the Weasley children jumped as Arthur’s fist hit the table. “Have you forgotten who she is to the twins?! Who she is to our boys!”

Fred and George looked at each other with a raise of their eyebrow. Without any second thought they got up and stormed into the room. “We heard our fancy names being mentioned in this lovely secretive conversation.” said Fred and when all the heads turned to him, a few popped in the room behind the door.

The adults sighed loudly and with hard convincing from the children, they gave in.

When everybody were seated, George started. “Who is she?”

Remus placed his chin on top of his interlocked fingers and replied. “Wait for Sirius.”

And they waited. They waited for the man who finally after a long time came down from his room and entered another. Before he could place it in front of the twins, Moody grabbed it and threw it in front of them. “Remember her?” he said aggressievly.

Harry and the other peeked on the photo of you, seventeen you were back then, with hair long and silky, eyes joyous and bright and beam angelic as the moon. You had a daisy tucked behind your ear and you twirled, danced and laughed on the photo. To Harry, you were definetly familliar.

“I saw her in my parents album.” he said. “I never knew who she was. Hagrid never told me, neither did any of you.”

“She looks quite familliar but can’t put my finger on it.” said Fred as he kept analyzing the girl on the photo.

George, however, was looking at Fred as he was missing a pair of gears in his brain. “She was our babysitter you airhead.” he said and looked at his parents. “Right? She used to come meanwhile Will, Charlie, Percy were in school, dad was at work and mum had errands.”

“I remember her.” Ron smiled dreamily.

“You weren’t even born.” George furrowed his eyebrows.

“I saw her in our albums.” Ron stuck out his tongue at his brother. “Plus, Charlie always talked about her.”

“We still haven’t been told who she is!” Ginny interfered, glaring at her parents.

Molly and Arthur both stepped closer and took the picture in their hands. Molly smiled. “She was an angel.” she started. “She found Percy when he got lost in the diagon alley and after she brought him to us, she charmed us completely.”

“She babysat Will, Charlie and Percy during the summer, later the two of you as well and when Ron was born, she was always around.” Arthur continued.

“She was such a kind spirit, always coming to the rescue when my hands were full with the oldest three and pregnant with the two of you. That was why your father and I decided to make her your Godmother to the two of you.” she kept lowering her tone as she said that.

George and Fred looked at each other, then at Ron who bore the same face expression. Hermione was intrigued by the story, Ginny quite the opposite, still waiting on a twist. Harry kept a confused look in his eyes, trying to put two and two together. Moody was in a dark corner, drinking from his flask, Tonks was looking at Remus, Remus at Sirius and Sirius was in his own thoughts, thinking of you.

It was silence filled with loud quiestions.

“We have a Godmother?!” exclaimed Fred.

“Why haven’t you ever told us?!” continued George.

And as Molly tried to answer, a quiet, mysterious giggle echoing through the house.

Everybody who were before sitting in the silence, were now standing up, armed and bewared. The adults drew their wands and stepped in front of the children yet little did they know that the echo of child-like laugh didn’t come from the hallway. It came from the same room.

“Go on.” a laugh came behind the children and everybody turned around, seeing nothing but complete darkness. “I’d like to hear the story as well.” it came behind Remus.

Everybody kept turning, looking around, trying to find the source yet little did they know that fifteen years imprisoned does wonders to your magic.

“Mum! Dad! I can’t move!” shouted Ginny, little did she know that everybody in this room was frozen.

“How did-”

“Fifteen years, love.” a voice, your voice, deep and raspy, came from the door frame. A figure, skinny to the bones, covered in darkness started approaching.

You walked inside, one foot in front of the other, slowly and elegantly. You wore leather, from head to toe. Tight leather pants, leather jacket zipped up to your chin and pair of boots. Your hands were covered in fingerless gloves, your dominant hand holding a long thin wand between its fingers. You never cut your hair. You put the hair that grew for fifteen years in a high ponytail.

“Fifteen years.” the tip of your wand touched his neck and you pressed it hard against it.

“You don’t scare me.” said Sirius, looking down on you.

“I don’t?” you raised the side of your upper lip, growling. “I should!” you shouted.

“Don’t hurt him!” a shout came from the other side but you ignored it completely.

“I gave my life for you.” you snarled, cutting his thigh. “And you pathethic little shat didn’t even bother to come, nor write, nor trying to save me! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AND YOU LET ME ROT IN THERE LIKE A DEAD RAT!” you shouted on the top of your lungs, hearing the glass in the house break.

“(y/n)...” Remus started quietly. “We didn’t know. I didn’t know.” he said and you turned your attention to him, giving him a fake pout.

“Poor werewolf Remus didn’t know.” you cooed as you approached him, taking his ching in your hand. “Because as always, Remus Lupin is always thinking of his problems and Remus John Lupin didn’t know that his best friend of ten years, who risked her life for his furry little problem, was rotting in a cell, innocently. How long didn’t you know exactly? Five years I was stuck there? Ten? Twelve? Fifteen?” your voice got deadly at the end, raising Remus’ heartbeat. “But how could have Remus Lupin know. It’s not like he’s best friend of a man who put me there.”

“This is not you, (y/n).” said Arthur. “If you’re mad at us, deal with us. Let the children be.”

You turned to the ginger couple and after a long time you felt your eyes burn. “I loved taking care of your angels. Especially little Ronald.” you turned around and your eyes landed on him directly.

His face was confused yet brave. You approached him but kept your distance safe. They were all afraid of you but you could see with Ron that he wasn’t. “The last time I saw you, you were one year old baby with gorgeous bue eyes.

“I swear to Merlin himself, if you hurt-”

“She won’t.” said Ron firmly. He stared into your eyes and feeling such safety when he did. It was as if he remembered them but didn’t.

You turned your head to the boy who spoke before and found an identical twin beside. “My, they have grown into such wonderful lads.” you turned to Molly and Arthur. “Though Fred has Charlie’s nose, George still has yours Arthur.” you smiled. “Some things never change.” then your eyes flicked to the boy beside them and your heart got stung with a poisoned arrow.

“He’s not James, Daisy.” Sirius said and all that ache turned into fury faster than a flick of a wrist.

You stormed to Sirius with teary eyes and pressed your wand so hard at his throat you almost cut a layer of his skin. “HOW DARE YOU USE THIS NAME ON ME!” you stepped back, unforze him and shot him a stunning spell, ignoring the shouts and yells behind you. “HOW DARE YOU USE HIM AGAINST ME!?!” you shot another but he shield it. “HOW DARE YOU PRETEND TO BE HIS BEST FRIEND, HIS “BROTHER”, AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO HIM! AFTER WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH!!”

“I THOUGHT YOU KILLED HIM! I THOUGHT YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!” he defended but you shot him another stunning spell.

“I would never do that to him.” you were standing above him, pushing your wand on his chest. “James was everything to me. I could never do that to my twin brother.”

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