Please! >:(
FUCK IT! I want a Gomez and Morticia (Live-action) dance scene EXACTLY LIKE ONE IN HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 3 SUMMER VACATION LIKE DRACULA AND ERICKA! I WANT THEM DOGDEING THE WEAPONS AND TRAPS ALL WHILE WORDING THINGS TO EACH OTHER LOOKING ALL SEXY!
you know what...
FUCK IT! I WANT THAT SCENE IN WEDNESDAY TOO! WHERE WEDNESDAY AND ENID HAVE TO DOGDE A BUNCH OF BOOBIE TRAPS (first Wednesday throws like rock or something to see what kind of traps their dealing with) AND ENID ASKS WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO AND WEDNESDAY JUSY TURN TO HER AND SAYS FOLLOW MY LEAD, PULLS HER CLOSER TO HER BY THE WAIST TAKES HER HANDS AND STARTS TO LEAD AND THEY DANCING AROUND DEATH! LITERALLY! AND OF COURSE, I WANT ENID TO BE SCARED LOOKING AROUND AND COWERING AND HIDING HER HEAD IN WEDNESDAY'S SHOULDER BECAUSE SHE'S TOO SCARED TO LOOK SO SHE JUST LOOKS DOWN AT HER FEET!
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so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
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if buddie becomes canon 911 will be the first show with banger after banger after banger after banger of main ships.
athena and bobby? unmatched. immaculate.
hen and karen? magnificent.
chimney and maddie? perfection.
buck and eddie? flawless.
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One thing I admire about the Zukka fandom is that they are largely aware that it is fanon. Like they're not making essays upon essays and meta analysis on why their scenes "prove" it's gonna be canon.
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