#i should go eat some of my candied ginger so i dont throw up during choir hehe

[garlique]

disordered eating tw im just articulating my thoughts abt my eating habits contextualized against my mental health issues also if yr grace and u see this no u dont <3

#a list of things i have eaten today: #red bull #yerba mate energy drink thing #20 million little mints #i should go eat some of my candied ginger so i dont throw up during choir hehe #anyway ya this depressive episode is very sexy in this regard because it literally takes too much effort to eat #because my problem most times #with restricting my eating is that like... i have adhd ive been an emotional eater my entire life #so its almost ALWAYS easier for me to eat than to not eat thats how i end up binging #because it's so fucking easy for me to start eating and just keep eating and eating and eating #i can literally house an entire large pizza + sides + drinks in under an hour sometimes #i think thats also why on my worse days i like wait so long to eat because once i DO eat its easier to keep eating #and harder to skip a late meal #plus i just like doing things later in the day i feel like im a person mostly between like 4 and 10 pm when im sober #but yes anyway. this depressive episode is making it VERY difficult to eat which is literally SO sexy #i truly love it when its easier to not eat than eat because that happens so rarely #but for like the last week ish theres only been one day where ive had more than one meal and thats SO SEXY #ofc my like once daily meals do end up being like way bigger than they should b a lot of the time like #because im still not good at restricting my intake when i actually eat like it truly is either i dont eat or i eat normal #like i dont think i could keep my caloric intake limited if i tried honestly #so like i do end up eating 1000 calories at like 8 pm and then nothing else #anyway ok if u read this first of all why second of all DO NOT send me any high and mighty messages abt it i am simply too tired #im gonna go eat some candied ginger for no vomity and i will see yall during choir hehe