#i should really continue with my spn rewatch

[scoobydoodean]

Anon I already addressed a lot of your message, but I also wanted to respond to the 2.02 part of your message more specifically. Tbh I didn't talk about this very specifically in my rewatch because I kind of feel like Sam projecting in 2.02 is a subject that has been beaten to death by fandom and I didn't really want to add to it if I'm being quite honest—especially because it quickly leads to samcrit hours for a lot of people in a way that I'm not really into believe it or not. But I wanted to respond specifically to what you wrote here:

Yes, Sam is expressing how he feels in season 2, but he isn't lashing out. He wants to express his grief to his brother, who he knows is also expressing grief. He doesn't realize his brother is expressing it in a different way than him, and interprets that as not expressing it at all. But he isn't lashing out and he isn't being malicious. Sam is trying to get Dean to talk to him, because that is how Sam needs to process his grief. He isn't displacing his aggression onto someone else. He's desperate for a connection. He's more begging than projecting at some point. And when it bubbles over, he admits how he is feeling to Dean based on an earlier conversation where Dean criticized Sam for how he was reacting to their father's death when Sam and John fought all of the time. Dean is angry because that is how Dean deals with grief, and in that conversation, he took it out on Sam. In the season 2 scene, Sam is admitting that yes, he and his dad always fought, and he feels terrible about it and is drowning in the too little too late. But he is desperate for his brother to let him in because that is the only connection he has left and Dean shutting down makes him afraid to lose that too. But he isn't lashing out or projecting. He is trying to communicate his needs but doing it less than stellarly.

First (clarification for any other readers) I've already clarified that I myself don't see Sam projecting as malicious.

Second, I think you reference a tag I used on my original post: projecting displaced aggression and scapegoating in spn. That is a tag for my tagging system. It's a blanket tag that I use when at least one of the words in the string applies to a situation, but not all have to apply.

Third, let's be clear about the sequence of events in 2.02:

Sam comes outside and asks if Dean is okay or if he needs anything.

Dean says he does not need anything, and calmly but plainly asks Sam to stop asking, because Sam has been asking Dean all week and Sam has not taken a hint.

Sam does not listen. Instead, he pushes forward, pointing out that Dean hasn't mentioned John all week.

Dean responds with a sarcastic remark that boils down to, "What the fuck do you want my grief to look like? What would you consider palatable?"

Sam explodes, yelling at Dean for patronizing him, accusing Dean of grieving wrong, and telling Dean how he should be grieving.

Dean says the anger and vengeance Sam wants from him is useless, and that the only thing he can do right now is work on the car.

As the episode continues:

Sam talks about wanting to hunt in John's memory twice after Dean wonders 1) why Sam wanted to go on a random hunt 2) Why Sam tells the carnival owner that he doesn't want normal. Dean pretends he has no thoughts about this.

Sam brings up a fond memory of John, and Dean says he remembers. 5 seconds later, Sam accuses Dean of "getting maudlin on him", and then he accuses Dean of playing the "strong and silent type"

Dean asks him firmly to leave him alone, and plainly says Sam is acting entitled to determine how Dean grieves.

Sam begins yelling at Dean again for not grieving right.

Dean shouts back at Sam that he is fine and tells Sam to stop dumping his issues on Dean.

Sam asks what Dean means.

Dean says Sam is having trouble dealing with John's death because of how things ended between the two of them and says Sam is projecting his inability to deal with John's death onto Dean.

At the end of the episode, Sam admits that Dean was right about what he was doing, but also says he knows Dean isn't actually okay.

That is the sequence of events.

He doesn't realize his brother is expressing it in a different way than him, and interprets that as not expressing it at all.

I'm not the thought police, but neither is Sam, and Sam quite literally shouts at Dean multiple times in 2.02 for not grieving in a way that Sam finds relatable. He specifically demands to know why Dean isn't angry, and why Dean doesn't want revenge, and why Dean's grieving process involves fixing his broken car instead of doing exactly what Sam has been doing—searching for leads on the demon. Sam is angry and is frustrated by a lack of leads, and he is displacing that frustration onto Dean and doing exactly what you claim Dean did to him later in the episode, except when Dean does it, it is after being harassed repeatedly and criticized for how he grieves and having his clearly stated boundaries trampled on by his brother for over a week.

Adults don't have to understand the quirks of other people's grief, but they should be expected to accept that their own feelings are not universal, and not make judgements. We don't get to dictate how other people feel and process things. I lost my grandfather this year, and if someone had come up to me at his funeral and criticized me for not appearing to grieve in a way they found relatable (which would invariably and inescapably carry an implication that I didn't care about my own grandfather) I would have put them on the ground, and they would have deserved it. It's fine that Sam doesn't understand how Dean grieves. His response to that lack of understanding, which is to deliberately and flagrantly ignore Dean's very calmly and plainly stated boundaries, and criticize how Dean deals with his feelings because Sam doesn't understand him, is not fine.

Note: Sam's behavior here is also not dissimilar from how he criticized Dean in 1.03 for not searching hard enough for John (in Sam's opinion—a guy who had found exactly 0 leads for them up to that point) with a tacked on thinly-veiled accusation that Dean did not care, followed by denials of his obvious meaning when Dean reacted. That also was not okay, and it's part of the pattern we see.

Sam is trying to get Dean to talk to him, because that is how Sam needs to process his grief.

You say Sam just wants to express his own grief to Dean, but that is not what Sam does? Sam talks exclusively about how Dean is processing his own grief: DEAN hasn't brought up dad once. DEAN should want revenge. DEAN should be mad. DEAN needs to stop being so dysfunctional and cold and "deal with" John's death—not Sam. If Sam wanted to talk about how Sam was grieving... he could simply talk about how he is grieving. However, quite crucially, he should also be willing to have someone else act as his active listener (ex: Bobby). Dean and Sam's methods of coping clearly do not mesh, and Sam should be willing to respect that. But when Dean does ask Sam quite plainly, over and over, to stop pestering him, Sam does not listen. He wants to talk about how Dean is grieving. Whether Dean is ready is not relevant—only whether Sam is ready for Dean to be ready. Dean is expected to grieve on Sam's timeline, in a way that looks familiar and relatable. Sam fixates on getting Dean to open up, because Sam is worried about him yeah—but also because Sam thinks he needs Dean—specifically—to spill his guts in order to process his own grief and stop worrying about Dean, and that is dysfunctional, and Sam is so focused on fulfilling that dysfunctional need that he is willing to flagrantly trample all over Dean's own grieving process and his clearly defined boundaries in order to get what he wants.

Sam's methods of coping and how they effect Dean in 2.02 are maladaptive, and they make Dean responsible for "fixing" Sam in a way that is not fair, while Dean is also grieving their dead father. Sam is essentially criticizing Dean for not offering up his raw grief as an artistically arranged meal for Sam's consumption, and Sam does not even realize it until Dean, tired of having his clearly stated boundaries trampled on over and over by Sam's repeated pestering and demands and criticisms, calls Sam out on what he is doing. And Dean is right about it, and after Sam reflects on it, he admits that Dean is right and reduces his harassment and policing of Dean's feelings by about 75%.

#projecting displaced aggression and scapegoating in spn #2.02 #mail #season 2 #spn revisionisms #youre such a control freak #john #the flannel business #we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone #i dont deserve what he put on me #bad therapist sam

[preseriesdean]

Talk to me about s2 supremacy. Spare no details.

thank you for asking and allowing me to gush 💕

maybe most importantly: it still has that early seasons 2000s vibe with flip phones and tape decks and newspaper articles and wide angle shots and americana and grainy film and desaturated colors and grittiness and loose layered working class clothing and shitty motels and grungy bars and this rough edge to everything

another main point is that it finds the perfect balance between monster of the week episodes and a season-encompassing story/myth arc by generally combining the two when necessary, unlike some of the later seasons

an overarching theme is the morality of hunting and whether or not truly every “monster” is really evil or deserves to die: “what if we killed things that didn't deserve killing?” (bloodlust, the usual suspects, croatoan, hunted, born under a bad sign, roadkill, heart) which plays into my next point

the pacing of the season works really well to set up everything about the season finale: sam's storyline with simon said, croatoan, hunted, born under a bad sign; and dean selling his soul, first through john’s deal with azazel, then with children shouldn't play with dead things (“what's dead should stay dead” / “when someone's gone they should stay gone. you don't mess with that kind of stuff”) and crossroad blues (“i think you did it for yourself. so you wouldn’t have to live without her”) and somewhat in croatoan where he's ready to die with sam

literally every single episode is a certified banger in my opinion. i can only think of 2 episodes that didn’t hit the mark too well for me personally but every other one i could rewatch endlessly, and those two still objectively have merit within the framework of the show/season

i won’t talk about each and every ep, but specifically the entirety of playthings, one of the most, if not THE quintessential, gothic episodes of the show. immaculate vibes.

the usual suspects, which shows how well sam and dean work together without even being in the same room and just how generally Weird they can be to outsiders, as well as continuing the theme of “demons i get / people are crazy” which was first set up in s1

as well as the entirety of what is and what should never be. no further explanation necessary i think.

also sam and dean look really nice

cinematography is on. point. the entire time. these shots alone from 2.09 and 2.04. museum worthy.

sam and dean’s relationship is just. sublime. “we were just starting to be brothers again” (2.01) – “he's the only one who gets to call me [sammy]” (2.03) – “you make a move on him, you'll be dead before you hit the ground” (2.09) – “if i ever turn into something that i'm not you have to kill me” (2.11) – “i can't, i'd rather die” (2.14) – “i thought it was supposed to, to be this perfect fantasy” / “it wasn't” / “we never went hunting and you and me just never, uh... you know” (2.20) – “i had to look out for you. that's my job” / “and what do you think my job is?” (2.22)

without taking the focus off the brothers as its core or feeling suffocating, s2 introduces more recurring supporting characters (bobby... kind of, as a rollover from the s1 finale; jo, ellen, ash, gabriel, victor henriksen, gordon walker) and expands on the monster lore, lending some depth to the spn universe before it begins to really ramp up with heaven and hell etc. from s3 onwards

the music was so good, too, although that’s true for other seasons as well. from ‘bad moon rising’ playing on the radio after the car crash in 2.01 and ending with ‘don’t look back’ in 2.22 and everything inbetween; dean singing along to ‘can’t fight this feeling’ in 2.05, ‘hellhound on my trail’ in 2.08, ‘renegade’ in 2.12, ‘back on the road again’ in 2.14, ‘house of the rising sun’ in 2.16, ‘silent lucidity’ in 2.17, ‘rooster’ in 2.19, ‘americana’ playing during sam’s death etc.

they just... did not hold back in all hell breaks loose part 1. earth shattering.

season 2 is funny (hollywood babylon, “maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie cause they think it sucks”) and heartbreaking (all hell breaks loose) and silly (tall tales) and deep (what is and what should never be) and philosophical (houses of the holy) and tragic (heart) and creepy (croatoan and pretty much all the rest) and intelligent (the usual suspects) and beautiful to me 💛

#asks #ep1dean #why am i emotional #i'm probably forgetting something tbh. #this year is about unashamedly loving the source material

[rxxtumxx]

Disclaimer before you continue.

I am going to be mentioning some things that may condradict a few oneshots I have made in the past but that was years ago and these are my real views on these characters.

Also I'm a writer so I write what my readers want to see though it isn't my favorite thing bc I only find writing enjoyable because I'm writing about what I like.

Also I wanted to publish this on Bisexuality day of Pride Month but I just couldn't wait😅 So early celebrations💖💜💙

With that said please comment your own thoughts and opinions!

Okay, so to begin.

There is a big difference between Sam and Dean when it comes to their sexualities. As in the writers chose to write Sam as a comfortably straight character who isn't put in situations with other men that have him stumbling over words or actions but didn't chose to do the same for Dean.

They are the writers of the show. They didn't have to make Dean so queer.

To me Sam is 100% straight but the kind of straight that if there was an instance in which he was attracted to a man he would act on this with little to no hesitation.

Dean on the other hand is written at first like he's overcompensating, trying to prove that he is straight just like his brother BUT the situations he his put in with men can at times be mirrored with the situations Sam is put in with women.

I would also like to mention that Dean is a masculine man. Yes he enjoys certain things society deems 'girly' but most of the time he comes off as masculine.

But that shouldn't even matter because I don't know is Supernatural is aware but masculine men can be bisexual.

It isn't a new concept they aren't a dying breed. Men can drink beers, go hunting, flirt with women, love guns, cars and cowboy films and still be attracted to men.

That's just fact.

Anywhoo

The earliest instance Dean is shown to express queerness is around S4. (I am not mentioning Cas because I really don't need to to make any of my Dean is bi points) One of my favorite episodes for this is Sex and Violence.

For many reasons.

● The bad guy is established to kill his victims by causing them to fall in love with him which would then allow him to kill them.

And the method used is swapping saliva, so kissing.

So when Dean is put under this trance and Sam finds out that Nick Monroe is the monster they're after he never questions how he his saliva came into contact with Dean. Most likely just assuming and completely okay with the fact that they kissed or engaged in sexual activity.

Also I would like to note that Nick was with Dean at the same time Sam was with the hospital lady.

It's almost as if they both had love interests for the episode.. hmm *strokes not existent beard thoughtfully*

● Another point which is real fact with proof that I can't believe actually exists is that back in 2009 (when the episode came out) the actor who plays Nick Monroe (one of my favorite ppl love him on 9-1-1 Lonestar😍) had and interview or something like that where he admits that upon reading the script he believed his affect over Dean was mean't to be romantic/sexual and not brotherly like the tried to pass it off as.

(You can look up the article on google)

●Lastly, during my rewatch of SPN during each episode I watch I go to IMDB to look and trivia of the episode and or reviews and most the reviews for this episode (Sex and Violence) were about how viewers believed it was mean't to be the start of Dean's bisexuality in the show.

Some of them go into good detail so you should definitely look at them.

S5 enters Dean's 'man crush' on Dr Sexy and scenes such as Dean casually lifting up a blanket to see a guys dick, the scene with 'The Chief' which tbh I just find funny and so forth.

But ignoring all the small moments of bisexual awkwardness I'm gonna jump straight to Dean and Reoccuring Male Characters

● Leo

I'm going to do this in order of Dean's oldest male lovers to newest (with the ommison of Castiel.)

We meet Leo Webb is S15, he's an old 'friend' of Dean's I'm guessing they would have met when Dean was around 23-24.

I love to headcanon that Lee was Dean's first romantic relationship with another man and Lee helped him to be comfortable with himself.

In the episode they are obviously hinted at to have been more than friend and are told that they had fivesome with three triplets meaning they canonically had sex. 

This again is something writers did not need to add but I feel as though the only way they could get away with Dean have sex with other man is if they stuck a few women in the middle.

Another moment mentioned was when they reminised about how they got drunk on a hunt (leaving what else could have happened to the viewers imagination)

To be honest I wish Lee was introduced earlier because I love what he adds to Dean's character but I'm surprised they even gave us him at all seeing as I thought s15 was going to be strictly Destiel.

In canon his character was a 7/10

And when left to the imagination or with subtext included 9/10

(Note: I'm going off what I remeber about this episode because I physically and mentally cannot watch s15 again)

●Crowley

Dean hated Crowley until he became a demon which allowed them to become close friends. There isn't much I can say about them because their relationship was not romantic only sexual.

But is VERY canon that they had sex- albeit it was in threesomes, foursomes etc

●Benny

Benny was a vampire. Dean was supposed to hate him but the character was made to act like a rebound for Dean after his fall out with Cas.

(I'm gonna do a proper Destiel take later but just for now I'll mention it.)

It's a common trope in televsion that when a couple breaks up (Dean and Cas) in the following season or episode a new love interest arrives (Benny) to stur things up and crrate a love triangle.

Benny and Dean became very close and whether or not they were aware of their feelings for each other is unknown. But it was incredibly upsetting when Dean was forced to kill the man he clearly had feelings for to save his brother.

Benny was a great character on his own or with Dean and it was such a let down to see him killed so quickly.

●Aaron

Okay this one is a bit funny but let me be CLEAR I don't believe an attraction ever really passed between Aaron and Dean.

Let me explain.

The scene we all know and love where Aaron is tailing Dean and Dean gets all flustered after Aaron lies and says he was hoping to maybe get a date with Dean is amazing.

The bisexual flusteredness of Dean and how he handled it was hilarious.

But in all seriousness I feel like Dean was only so flustered because he was isn't open about what he believes only he knows so Aarons attraction to him caught him off gaurd.

Fun Fact: There is a recording of the SPN writers talking about how they wrote the scene to play on Dean's queer panic and how it could open doors for people to see him as more than just into girls etc

●Arthur Ketch

Okay this one is just for me but OH MY GOD why did Mary have to sleep with Ketch??? Him and Dean could have had the best hate sex ever 😫

Anywayss *wipes tear* here are some honerable mentions.

○Gunner Lawless

First of all SPN KNEW what they were doing when they intercut Sam meeting his first crush (a woman) with Dean meeting his favorite wrestler/obvious crush (A man)

Dean's obsession with Gunner was similar to Sam's and was no different from how anybody else would act around their celebrity crush.

Also they definitely fucked (I know it in my soul.)

○Donnie The Bartender

Okay so we ALL loved when Dean decided to spend his time away from Sam and outside the bunker doing something he found fun.

Eating nachos, hustling rich kids and flirting with the cute bartender.

I wish they interacted more but the single wink has to suffice I guess.

I still have to make a fic where Dean goes home with him bc that totally would have happend.

-

-

Oh my gosh I'm so tired so I have to end here

In conclusion Dean Winchester is Bisexual and SPN writers are pussies

Stay tunned for my Destiel part😁

goodnight everybody👋🏾😴

#supernatural #destiel #bisexual dean winchester #bisexuality #benny lafitte #lee webb #castiel #sam winchester #deep dive

[fuzzyflowers22]

SPN Rewatch

“Dead mans blood”

Weird continuity issues with vampires being nearly extinct in s1 and then pretty commonplace in later seasons.

Same goes for a lot of other things they hunted.

It gives me the impression that they weren’t that good at hunting. Or just bad writing.

Same with demons but I think there were other causes for the rise in demon activity.

Weird that John told them there were no such things as vampires instead of just telling them that vampires were extinct.

I kinda agree with Sam because John does put them in danger and give them a lot of responsibility and then turn around and treat them like children. And not in a fatherly “I wanna protect my kids” kinda way. More in a “I don’t want to actually parent I just want them to do what I say” kinda way.

I don’t like the weird disconnect Sam has about liking John when he’s not there and hating him when he is. I also don’t like Jared’s acting.

John is definitely the father who’s only loving when they’re perfect and do everything he says without question.

When they mess up or talk back you can clearly see the shift in his behavior.

If you’re gonna make your children live incredibly dangerous lives hunting monsters… you should probably answer the “why”s so they can learn and won’t …you know, die. It makes it clear that he sees them as weapons because if he was actually making them hunters in their own rights he would be telling them more. He only tells them enough to use them.

Also clear self sacrificing dean moment where he’s willing to be treated like crap just to get the job done and have his family together.

Honestly Jared’s acting makes me hate Sam. Like, could you make a more annoying face wtf.

Like.. when I pay attention to the words, Sam makes sense. But the acting.. the tone and expressions that just make him seem like such an asshole. Jesus.

John really makes it seem like he’s gonna hit him.

Also the “it’s starting again” makes it clear that dean has been in the middle of these fights a lot.

Also the way Sam talks about dean always doing what John tells them is like…kinda blind? Like… dean has to physically get in between them to stop them from fighting (both of them look like they’re gonna hit each other) and Sam thinks that dean should just.. join the fights?

It doesn’t seem like Sam actually wants dean to have a mind of his own.

It kinda feels like he wants to take johns place. I don’t think Sam thinks this consciously. But the way he gets mad when dean does something for John and not him. The way he never really embraces dean’s individuality. The way he kinda talks down to him the same way John does.

What exactly is the point of saying that he wasn’t a father he was a drill sergeant if he’s not changing his behavior?

Also Sam get your fucking story straight! Do you hate him or not! Nothings changed!

Why are the monsters always perverts?

Sam changing his mind on John again!

Also dean you are right and I love you. John is spewing bullshit about keeping them safe. Fuck that guy.

Who the fuck makes their kids call them sir.

#spn #supernatural #dean winchester #anti sam winchester #anti john winchester #fuck john winchester

[diminuel]

I’m watching Destiel fanvids again, you know how I get about them. And while I love Castiel’s confession speech to Dean, I’m a biiiit on the fence whether his assessment of Dean was correct. Now, I’m as Dean obsesses as a Cas girl probably gets, and I love the idea that the foundation of Dean’s action was love, but... eh... I’m pretty sure that there are plenty of things that Dean did and that Cas has experienced Dean do, even in just the last year, that were not motivated by love.

A lot of Dean’s behavior is influenced by fear and anger and frustration that cannot easily be justified by love. I get however, that Cas was not going to unravel all of Dean, the good and the bad, in a weaponized love declaration that is aimed to make him happy and protect Dean.

And Cas is not as critical of Dean as I can be (for fun! I love being critical of characters. It’s entertaining to examine flaws, whether you attribute them to bad writing or in built character flaws that can be worked on and dug into in fan work) and he’s far more forgiving than I am. ;3

(Also, I’m the kind of person who will get flustered if I read a fic or a discussion post where Cas is blamed for everything. A popular one seems to be Dean’s fear of being abandoned, which is used to justify why he lashed out at Cas and I’ve also seen it argued many time that if Cas had not kept abandoning Dean then Dean would not be behaving this way. That’s not how I read things... And then there’s the argument that Dean was justified in everything he did from blaming Cas to wanting to kill Jack because it was Cas’ fault that Mary died and that this ended in a temporary divorce. Noooooo. *lol*)

Anyway, I should really continue my SPN rewatch because sometimes my recollection of things are biased (which is fine!) and then I cannot just let my feelings be hurt by a fanvid in peace and instead need to ramble about fanvid adjacent stuff.

But sadly I’m still stuck in S12 on an odious Buckleming episode that will feature Ketch/Mary sex (why??????) and I’m just not feeling it X’D Help.

#Effi stuff

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Red Sky at Morning

Welcome to “Stinks Like Seaman Spirit: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s3e6: Red Sky at Morning

 In a coastal city in New England, people are drowning on dry land. Sam and Dean aren’t the dumb brothers, so they think that’s kind of odd. With the help of both Bella, who is in town to steal something and sell it (of course), and a grabby old lady who has the hots for Sam, the boys figure out that a sailor hanged on an old sailing ship is responsible for the strange deaths. In the course of trying to dispatch him, they have to get all dolled up and pretend to be rich at a charity function, think on their feet, and save Bella from the ghost. They learn that Bella has committed murder, though she won’t tell them anything about the circumstances, and Sam and Dean do a nice rendition of the fraught brothers over Dean’s continuing refusal to care about his impending death and sentence to hell.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

 Mace:

 public water fountain = ew

 Lor:

 GHOST SHIP

 CORRECT

 Mace:

 YAS

Lor:

 "Happy Purim" Sammy

 Mace:

 SNORK

 Dean sounds like a dad here

“something you wanna tell me?"

 Lor:

 YEP

 Sam's little nod

 Mace:

 YES

 Mace:

BACK OFF MY STRINGBEAN, KALE

 omg DEAN’S LITTLE COUGH

 Lor:

 "Alex and us, we're like this" the way he just goes with it

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

 OH NO don't touch Sammy like that

 YES HIS COUGH

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

 "weirdo dryland drownings"

 Mace:

 snork

 Lor:

 "where's my car?"

 Mace:

 oh Dean

 Lor:

 omg Dean, baby, breathe

 Mace:

 Sammy, don’t tell him to calm down

 Lor:

 RIGHT?

 Mace:

 SMARTY SAMMY

 Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 omg Dean imagining her in that scenario

 Lor:

 YES

 is she... wearing any clothes under that coat?

 Mace:

 possibly not

 Lor:

 "not in public"

 Mace:

 Sam gives SUCH good annoyed face

 Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 i would need to provoke that as often as possible

 Lor:

 YAAAS

 DON'T REACH INTO THE TUB

 Mace:

 DO NOT STICK YOUR ARM IN THAT WATER DUMMY

YAS

 Lor:

 lololol

 I love the way Bella and the boys keep sticking it to each other

 Mace:

 YES

i think they’re each fascinated with the other

 Lor:

 YEP

 "I don't know. your daddy give you enough?"

THEY HAVE EACH OTHER PEGGED

 Mace:

 oh MAN, the daddy hugs thing hurts BOTH of them in ways the other doesn’t realize

 YAS

 Lor:

 YES

 watch your mouth, man

 Mace:

 poor Baby

 Lor:

 right?

gettin' stole, bein' insulted

 Mace:

 yep

 “that can’t be good"

that’s a professional opinion right there

 Lor:

 yep

he knows not good when he sees it

 Mace:

 he sure does

 Lor:

 ghost is getting sloppy. you REALLY can't drown in a car on land

 Mace:

 SNORK

I don’t think he cares

 Lor:

 LOL

 I love that it's Dean who can't sit normal in a chair but it's JARED who can't sit normal in a chair

 Mace:

 is this the first time they’ve stayed in a not-motel?

 Lor:

 I think so

 Mace:

omg YAS

 Lor:

 "aren't you a sharp tack" yes, Bella, yes, he is

 DEAN WINCHESTER

 Mace:

 DEAN WINCHESTER

 Lor:

 hahahahaha

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHA

 pretty sure a hand of glory is always a man’s no? so that’s interesting

 Lor:

 iiiiiinteresting

 "what are you, a woman?"

 GOD I LOVE THIS REVEAL DOWN THE STAIRS

 Mace:

 I LOVE that he’s the one making an entrance and she’s in the Male Gaze position

 Lor:

 "we should really have angry sex" YES YOU SHOULD

 Mace:

 YES YOU SHOULD

 Lor:

 YESYESYES

 Mace:

 “don’t objectify me” DEAN

 Lor:

 "don't objectify me"

he's actually uncomfortable

it's such a NICE little piece of characterization

 Mace:

 YES because in that one little moment he realizes, I believe, that this happens to him a lot in myriad ways

 Lor:

 YES

 OMG Dean and the gum

 Mace:

 but the little smile on the way out is that he doesn’t... ming

 *mind

 Lor:

 YEP

 Mace:

 typo - he CLEARLY mings often

 BACK OFF MY STRINGBEAN, BITCH

 Lor:

 SNORK

 Mace:

 my GOD he looks good

 Lor:

 RIGHT? leave him alone

 Mace:

 all three of them do

 Lor:

 "this is easier and it's a lot more entertaining"

Dean

 Mace:

 my bi self is happy in this ep

 Lor:

 YAAAS

 Mace:

 omg DEAN’s gleeful grin

 Lor:

 YES

 Bella's décolletage is stunning

 Mace:

 IT SO FLIPPING IS

and her hair looks so good

 Lor:

 YEP

 Mace:

 and there’s something about the precise way she speaks

 DEAN

 Lor:

 "no sir" "no?"

 YES

 I love how he just goes with it

  aw she FLUSTERS him

 "very Oscar Wilde"

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

 and him trying to figure out what that means

 Mace:

 his LOOK BACK at her

 Lor:

 (headcanon: when he gets a chance, he looks up Oscar Wilde and then he has a LOT of INTERESTING reading material)

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

 STOP FONDLING PEOPLE WITHOUT CONSENT GERT

 Mace:

 RIGHT?!

 she is so clever!

 Lor:

 YES

 gooood taking the handkerchief out of his breast pocket and shaking it out

 Mace:

 YES

 “okayokayokay” poor Sam

 Lor:

 yeah

 "you stink like sex" DEAN

 Mace:

 “you stink like sex” DEAN WINCHESTER

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

 lololol

 "Mrs. Who?"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

he’ll look that up later, too

 Lor:

 YEP

he enjoys the atmosphere of that one but it's not NEARLY as INTERESTING

 Mace:

 HAHAHA YEP

 Lor:

 "you not us"

 omg Dean's face. so betraaaaayed

 Mace:

 SNORK such a snark

 Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 a nautical fury i love it

 Lor:

 "was it daddy?" ooooh, Dean

 YES

I LOVE ship stuff

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

 they are so JUDGEY. they have such strong moral compasses, even if a lot of people might not understand or share them

 Mace:

 yeah

 Sam zipping his coat up

 Lor:

 did he... say castiel?

 YES

 Mace:

 DID HE JUST SAY CASTIEL?!

 Lor:

 hahahahahahahaha

I'm pretty sure he did

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHA

 Lor:

 which is funny because I'm pretty sure that actual angel is Cassiel

 Mace:

 HA interesting

 Lor:

 oooo the creaking of the masts

 Mace:

 I love that boy, but GOD his Latin pronunciation is shit awful

 Lor:

 they are all so pretty all wet

 Mace:

 oh man, that’s such a COOL effect

 YAAASSS

 Lor:

 LOLOLOLOL you'll help him get better at it

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

 "you're so damaged" "takes one to know one"

 Mace:

 “you’re so damaged” that is one of the few moments where I don’t like Dean very much

 Lor:

 yeah. not very kind

 "I guess I would have done the same thing"? you DID

 Mace:

 and they will again. and again.

 Lor:

 YEP

 "please stop worrying about me" oooof

 Mace:

 yeah, not possible, Sam

 Lor:

 "I want you to give a crap that you're dying"

 keep trying, Sammy, keep trying

 Mace:

 oh BOYS

 Lor:

 YES

#watchingspnagain #watchingspnagain 3x06 #spn #supernatural #spn meta #spn spoilers #spn 3x06 #watchingspnagain bi dean #watchingspnagain latin #watchingspn again sam and assuault #watchingspnagain consent

[bbasmos]

SPOILERS FOR VOL 2

Here's my rant. I have to get it out. 

I started to loose hope in episode 8 from the drawing reveal onwards because everything was very boring and slow. I was waiting for the turned around but by starting the first 10 minutes of ep. 9 I suspected the leaks were true because of the Pizza place and El’s plan. 

Jesus fuck.

So glad I got into Tumblr to confirm the shit storm that was coming and I stopped watching completely. Not interested in watching that dumb ILY from Mike.

This is worse that SPN honestly, at least Castiel came out explicitly. At least his speech was about HIMSELF. At least DEAN was THERE, FACING HIM. FACING THE CONFESSION.

AT LEAST THEY’RE CANON IN SPANISH.

Honestly, wtf with all hype that the actors said? At this point I'm just waiting for the backlash to hit the Duffers hard, there should be consequences. I love Noah, he’s just a kid, but at this point, he's going to be at the center of it all. It's unavoidable. God damnit, he should be pissed as well, just look at what they did to your character! 

And Mike.

I actually wasn't impressed when I saw the first two episodes if this volume, I was actually pissed that Will was going to be pining after Mike. I told myself "It's not going to go anywhere poor Will".

I hated how Mike treated him at the airport, and I ranted with my bff how I hated what the show has made of the character since S3.

I actually *stopped* watching it. (Can you believe it? Yeah. I should’ve stopped there, I really should’ve.)

But then I went into the Byler tag and saw the interviews and promotion. I was like "Really? They're going for it?" That's what changed my perspective and gave me hope. SPECIFICALLY FINN’S INTERVIEW ABOUT THE “MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING.” 

Netflix was all out for Byler all over social media. And what can’t we say about Noah?

So I picked up where I left off. I got into the wagon. Kept watching.

SO DON'T TELL ME IT WASN'T QUEERBAITING BY THEM. I CONTINUED WATCHING BECAUSE THE SHOW ACTIVELY PROMOTED THEM. NOAH SAID LITERALLY THEY WERE BUILDING IT UP.

Everyone on that whole production is responsible for THIS disgusting result.

I'm not giving them the pleasure to have me waiting for S5. Fuck them. This was their last change, since I hated S3. You fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Nevertheless, I do love S1 and S2 and they won't take that away from me. That was the real Mike Wheeler. And my love for Will Byers isn’t going to fade. I'll still have love for the Byler relationship, read fanfiction -- but you won't get me to rewatch this shit again, Netflix. I really doubt they’re gonna go anywhere with Byler in S5. It’ll be toxic af. Not interested in your freaking The Eleven Show. 

Anyways, I just got to let it out. I haven't been this disappointed over a TV show in over a decade.  Congrats, Duffers.

#byler #spoilers #st v2 spoilers #what a shit show #and to think will is gonna keep suffering in silence #with happy jopper? #living all together like a happy familiy? #fuck that noise

[songsformonkeys]

For the writer asks: 3, 13, and 19!

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

My writing ritual is about 90% me arguing with my procrastinating self that I should write and that I should just start writing NOW. The rest of the ritual is finding some fitting instrumental music and ignoring all incoming messages until I resurface for a break. It's cursed because of the amount of frustration the procrastination causes...

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Hmm, not sure if I've come across something that I would find incredibly difficult to write about. There are plenty of things I don't really want to write about (like pregnancies, graphic depictions of sexual assault, and demeaning smut just to name a few) but if I had to write about them, I would give it a try. And I think the stuff I have the easiest time writing is the stuff that's supposed to be humorous. I'm not sure if other people find it funny, but I do and it always flows quite easily when I write it.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

Oh gosh, I started forever ago, back in 2004 when LOST premiered and I started filling my little notebooks with horribly boring fanfiction about the characters walking back and forth through the jungle. This was back when you had to catch the show when it aired on tv and wait for the DVD box to come out if you wanted a rewatch. So I spent the time in between the episodes writing and imagining what went on in the worlds of my favorite shows. I had a very brief L Word phase too, as I was discovering that I miiiight not be 100% straight.

After that, there was a bit of a break before I started writing fanfiction for the SPN fandom. I did that until I started university. At that point, it became too much to keep up with both writing and studying so I stopped writing for almost 8 years.

Then, the pandemic happened right around the time I stumbled across a little movie called Prospect. And as soon as the end credits rolled, I knew I wanted more from this universe so I went on ao3 and read whatever was posted there. And when I ran out of stuff to read, I started writing my own stuff. And the rest is history!

As far as where I'm going with my writing... I have no idea. I really enjoy writing and I hope to continue doing it for many years to come. I never realized how much I missed it during the 8-year break. And I'll probably keep posting and sharing it here, even though I never want it to start feeling like a chore and I don't want to be affected by the amount of notes the stories get. So we'll see. All I know is that it makes me happy <3

#writing asks

[jaded-quill]

I could put out a chapter of Path of Redemption today, but I don't think I will.

Why?

One, because I'm not happy with it.

Two, because my writing slump continues, and the end of the previous part is a more satisfying intermission or halfway point. If I put out this chapter, I'll be unhappy with it and probably not have the next one ready in a week after all.

I'm not in any way abandoning the fic. It's just that my life and current pool of inspiration isn't fitting with the story where it currently is. I could fight with it some more, but instead, I'll take a proper refresher and come back at it with new energy.

I have D&D work I should be focusing on anyway, and I'll be happier with myself if I get that done in the next couple of weeks. (Magical city locations, ruling Artificer council and arena combats!)

After that, and depending on how my neice's 2nd birthday party goes, I'll either return to this or vent some feelings with some dark and depressing Hannibal one-shot goodness. I have some started already from a while back.

Meanwhile, I will be making notes and plot points for Path so that when I shake off this depressive episode, I'll be ready and raring to go.

I also really need to keep going with my SPN rewatch because it always helps with the inspiration, and I will, at some point, watch the last couple seasons. Unfortunately, I'm in late season 10, where Charlie returns for her final run of episodes, and I find myself unable to watch that go down again while also unable to skip it. It's a problem. 😵‍💫

Like I said, I could push this chapter out, but I think ultimately I'd be doing my readers a disservice.

Thanks to everyone for your patience. I will keep you updated.

#fic #supernatural #destiel #spn #writing #charlie bradbury #d&d #dm things #hannibal #depression #mental health

[airenyah]

what are the gayest destiel episodes you can think of?

ohhhhh i gotchu hold on (this is basically gonna end up being a list of my fave destiel episodes lmaooo)

ok so just a heads-up, i don’t really remember much from s10 onwards (a lot of those episodes i haven’t actually watched since they aired whoops) and i’m currently stuck at the beginning of s9 on my complete rewatch soooo this list focuses only on the first half of the show. i might do an update if i ever manage to finish my rewatch (and remember to post an update at all when the time comes)

ok here we go:

4x16 - On the Head of a Pin

dean calls cas “cas” to his face for the very first time

dean is all “you can't ask me to do this, cas. not this.” (about torturing alastair) and uriel is all “who said anything about asking”, but cas is all: “this is too much to ask, i know. but we have to ask it” and that is the moment that dean realizes that cas cares about him and his feelings/well-being and that’s when he demands to speak to cas alone 

and it’s only after cas tells dean he really doesn’t want dean being forced to do the torturing that Dean gives in (”i would give anything not to have you do this”)

like, it’s so obvious already how much cas cares about dean already and we’re only in s4

 cas is even starting to go down the path of disobedience (with a little help from anna admittedly, but still. he’s starting to consider it)

they’re so?? comfortable?? with each other. when cas visits dean at the hospital in the end

4x22 - Lucifer Rising

dean literally makes an angel fall in this ep, i mean come on... (the way cas shows up behind him all “you asked to see me” after dean smashes the angel statue cracks me up every single time gsdlka)

dean desperately trying to get cas to help him (bc he knows that IF there’s an angel that would help him it’s cas)

cas is too afraid though and dean gets pissed and literally breaks up with him (D: "you spineless, soulless son of a bitch. what do you care about dying? you're already dead. we're done." C: "dean-" D: "we're done!")

this is the episode in which cas makes his decision and chooses dean over heaven

5x03 - Free to Be You and Me

in the previous episode sam and dean had a fight and split up. this episode starts out with dean being pissed and annoyed and just in a bad mood in general

when cas shows up and asks for help dean is very grumpy and doesn’t want to help at first but then reluctantly agrees

throughout the episode, the more time dean spends with cas the better his mood gets (honestly this point is worthy of its own separate post, i have enough screenshots lmao)

like he’s even smiling at the end of the ep when he’s talking to cas in the car!! (except then he looks over and realizes cas has left mid-conversation again and that smile is wiped right off his face and i’m sad :( )

when they’re in that brothel dean mostly has eyes for cas, even when chastity the hooker is standing right next to him

after the brothel incident when dean is cracking up and goes “it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. it's been more than a long time. years.” like... buddy. your crush is showing.

and the way cas smiles lovingly at dean laughing next to him

dean be like: “personal space”     also dean: *reaches into cas’s coat without hesitation* *fixes cas’s shirt and tie without hesitation*

also the funniest thing about the whole “personal space” moment in the motel is that there was more than enough space for dean to step aside and increase the distance between him and cas if he had really been all that uncomfortable but he just. doesn’t. no he just stays right where he is 

when raphael is trapped in the holy oil and threatens cas all “castiel, I'm warning you. do not leave me here. i will find you.” and cas goes “maybe one day. but today, you're my little bitch.” and walks away and dean tells raphael “what he said” like the impressed and proud boyfriend that he is

inside jokes (see here)

some more iconic quotes/moments from this episode:

“cas, we’ve talked about this. personal space”

“so, what, i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“well. last night on earth. what are your plans?” “i just thought i'd sit here quietly.”

“let me tell you something. there are two things i know for certain. one, bert and ernie are gay. two, you are not gonna die a virgin. not on my watch.”

5x14 - My Bloody Valentine

hunter husbands!!

the way that dean is not in the mood for hook-ups on valentine’s day and then goes to stare at cas like That

that iconic phone call at the hospital where cas just appears in front of dean who nearly runs into him

cas be looking at sam while listing all the things people can be starving for, and then looks at dean before saying “love” 

ok i know this doesn’t have that many points but really this entire ep is great, i very much enjoy all the interactions between cas and dean in this ep

like when dean is not hungry and cas is all “you're not gonna finish that?” and grabs the plate without waiting for an answer bc they’re this married in s5 already

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King

i mean... this one is obvious isn’t it

this ep is literally all about how cas is doing everything for the winchesters aka dean

the way sam and bobby cautiously voice their suspicions of cas to dean has the same energy as carefully breaking it to a family member that you think their partner is cheating on them 

and when they trap cas in the holy oil and confront him dean also acts like a betrayed wife(gn)

which is such a stark contrast to how sam and bobby react to the betrayal (they’re mostly just like “eh this sucks” while dean is emotionally affected)

and even in the following episodes dean is way more affected by cas’s betrayal than sam and bobby are and dean is the one who argues the most with cas (honestly, this entire arc is literally that post that’s all “how do i know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

ok but the holy oil scene is truly like a soap opera (i mean... “where were you when i needed to hear it?” “i was there. where were you?” and dean looking back at cas one last time before running away)

this is their first big break-up and it takes them until the s7 finale to make up

special shoutout to cas watching dean rake leaves

this ep is a LOT

7x17 - The Born-Again Identity

dean’s FACE when he sEES CAS. and then DEAN’S FACE AGAIN when “emmanuel” is all “what’s your issue?”

dean’s face all throughout that first scene with “emmanuel” and daphne, I’M

“you know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. you know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... i always could. what cas did... i just can't – i don't know why” BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, IDIOT

the way dean interrupts all irritated when meg goes “i think we're gonna be good friends too” at “emmanuel” (jealous bf much gsdlksafd)

the way dean kept the trenchcoat just in case so he can give it back to cas should he return (which ofc he did)!!!!

7x21 - Reading is Fundamental

yet another one of those “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”

at the beginning of the ep at some point sam’s phone rings and when he says that meg (who is watching over cas at the mental hospital) is calling, dean is quick to stand up and even tho meg called sam, dean is the one who ends up having the phone call with her lmao

also dean has no chill during that phone call lmao (he’s irritated when he finds out meg didn’t call them right then and there as soon as cas woke up and he’s immediately concerned when meg says cas is different, while sam’s just standing there holding his phone out to dean, being all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao)

dean: *pissed af at cas*    also dean: *almost breaks his own neck at the speed with which he whips his head around at the mention of cas’s name and is desperate to know his location when cas calls meg after dean blasted him away with some other angels at the hospital*

ok no but then meg tells cas their location and cas zaps into the car and it’s hilarious how quick dean is to interrupt whenever cas turns his attention to meg in that scene

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin

dean seeing cas everywhere

when you see your best dudebro outside the window in the middle of a storm but when you get up he’s gone and you feel like crap because you could’ve made it out of the war zone together and you just cannot fathom why he didn’t try harder and you just don’t understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling (and judging by dean’s reaction to sam’s suggestion, clearly it’s not survivor’s guilt)

dean’s FACE when cas suddenly appears behind him in the bathroom

jacting joices: the infamous boner scene (yet another example of “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

jacting joices pt 2: sam and dean are talking case and then cas walks over to join the conversation and there is literally no reason for dean to check cas out (see here)

during the rescue mission when cas zaps into the room and has a stand-off with crowley and then when dean finally manages to break into the room, can i just say... the way dean immediately rushes to cas (who’s ended up on the floor) and grabs him by the shoulder before he bothers to look around the room

D: “that was a bonehead move back there. you could have gotten yourself killed. why didn't you wait for me?” C: “well, i didn't get killed. and it worked” D: “and if it didn't?” C: “it would have been my problem.” D: “well, that's not the way i see it.”

the purgatory flashbacks when dean keeps insisting that cas is coming along with them back to earth and won’t hear otherwise

“i did everything I could to get you out – everything! i did not leave you.”  “so you think this was your fault?”

“look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? for failing you like i've failed every other godforsaken thing that i care about! i don't need it!”

i know we hate buckleming but this episode, man. this episode

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici

i was gonna put this as a special shoutout but then it turned out that i had more to say about this ep than i initially thought

it’s the way dean and cas keep gravitating towards each other in the first half of the episode. no seriously, they somehow keep ending up beside each other and you start wondering “what’s personal space” (friendly reminder that this is the ep right after they’re finally back together again after purgatory)

the married energy and the bickering

the “talk to me” scene where cas finally opens up to dean (but then interrupting moose strikes)

at the retirement home dean to sam and cas: “no flirting you two” then CUT to: dean and cas sitting at a table with an elderly lady who is staring at cas with heart eyes and... lady: “you are so pretty, charles” dean: *must look at young nurse’s butt immediately to distract myself from gay thoughts*

i’m sorry but the way he smiles so widely at cas at one point when they’re talking to that lady, like, she’s just called cas a bounder and dean’s amused about that but his amusement is not in any way malicious and his face is just so full of love when he looks at Cas, it’s embarrassing really (see here)

9x06 - Heaven Can't Wait

ok so i haven’t watched this ep in like 5 years so my memories on this aren’t as fresh as with the previous eps but! it’s the way that cas and dean act exactly like exes (who are still in love with each other) in this ep

dean’s face as he’s staring at cas through the shop window

dean’s smile when he shows up inside the shop

the entire “i can’t let you do this cas” scene in the car

the infamous fanfiction gap

special shout out to:

5x18 - Point of No Return for all the bickering (“you know what? blow me, cas”) and especially  “well, cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… i got laid.”

6x10 - Caged Heat for the pizza man and dean’s reaction to all the megstiel (like jealous bf much?)

6x19 - Mommy Dearest for the strong married energy dean and cas give off in this ep (honestly, all their bickering, it’s glorious) (friendly reminder that this is right before tmwwbk) 

7x23 - Survival of the Fittest for the “i’d rather have you cursed or not” scene

8x02 - What's Up, Tiger Mommy? for the purgatory flashbaks with that one monster calling cas dean’s angel and the reunion scene by the river with highlights such as “nice peach fuzz” and “i prayed to you cas, every night” and “i have a price on my head, and i've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you” and “cas, we're getting out of here. we're going home” and “cas, buddy, i need you” and “let me bottom-line it for you. i'm not leaving here without you. understand?”

8x17 - Goodybe Stranger for “i don't know, dean. if he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?” and the entire crypt scene (yes this is a big one and yes i’m still only putting it as a special shoutout and yes it’s bc of the megstiel content this ep ok bye <3)

#there is also the late s9 ep where cas chooses dean over an angel army #then i vaguely remember 11x03 being a good destiel ep #and the s12 ep with the ''i love you. i love all of you''?? #i know people are still going crazy over the mix tape but i don't remember if the ep itself was very gay #oh and 13x06 - tombstone gets talked about a lot as well #when cas comes back to life at the end of the widower arc and dean goes from extremely depressed to happy af #15x09 was a pretty good one as well i think #and ofc 15x18 with the big ''i love you'' #anyway this was fun #i should really continue with my spn rewatch #but the thing is that i'm actually journaling and making notes #and that requires brain #and i currently just don't have the energy to make all this effort just for a tv show #who knows if i'm ever gonna finish this project #oh well #asks #anon #destiel #spn #lmk if i've missed anything (from s4-s8 that is)

[supernatural-jaeger]

fave 5 creations I’ve made in 2021! tagged by the lovely @emeraldcas 💚💚

1. The lakehouse love - I wrote this poem in may and it’s one of the first one’s I wrote. It’s so fluffy and domestic and I’d just started to realise how fun it was to write and contribute to the fandom. Also I had just gotten into the sweet sweet au of dclcu ☀️🏞🏡

2. 5 times dean was aging - this is the longest poem I’ve written, and one of the ones I worked the most with. I love how it turned out and again, so fluffy and domestic.

3. Reflections of a broken mirror - I had a moment in my rewatch earlier last year when I reached thee 5x4, and I watched it several times and made this poem before my brain could move on to the next ep. It got a bit lost in a major spn event, but in my mind this is one of my bangers of 2021.

4. I gripped you tight - who doesn’t like a spicy 🌶 destiel poem? It was really fun to write. Maybe I should make another one …

5. The dta poem series (X) (X) (X) - I never made it past the second book of down to Agincourt but aaah that fic never left me. I’m about to reread the second if not the first book too, because I really do want to read the whole 1,2 million words of that world and continue with my dta poems so bad.

Honorable mention; clown Cinderella - this edit is exactly how I picture myself when major spn-related news hits the fandom. Time to dress up and put my clown nose on, I’m off to the ballroom (dash) to mingle and have a splendid time amongst other well-dressed clowns 👠🤡

Many of you may already have done this but if some of you haven’t and would like to, either way pls tag me! I want to see 😁💕 tagging 5 mutuals I want to see the top 5 of: @chapeldean @caskarass @jactingjoices @postpunkdean @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie

#top five creations of 2021 #destiel #supernatural content creators #tin talk #destiel poetry #dta

[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

i actually did think you didn't like sam and cas for the longest time, but it's more than your bias for dean is evident. it took awhile to see through that and understand you are coming at sam and cas out of love and in a fun way and just happen to like dean more. there are a lot of other blogs that make digs at characters (esp sam and cas) in a NOT fun way, but pretend they "love all of TFW" and that's on me for lumping you in with them.

.

You know Anon, back when I used to post absolutely NOTHING except for memes, and also had a Sam banner and icon, someone asked me who my favorite character was, and I made it a poll because I was curious how good of a job I was doing keeping my content even. Lo and behold—they chose in order by vote percentage:

Sam

Cas

Dean

Jack

Then as the poll has stayed up ever since, I think Dean and Cas have traded places in the voting (but by now everyone knows Dean is my favorite). But a very large percentage of people did not know Dean was my favorite starting out. I was surprised, because I do indeed love Dean very VERY much. It isn't that I don't like Sam and Cas—but to me, Dean is possibly one of the greatest characters of all time. I could not possibly put into words how much I enjoy his character and all of the reasons why he's touched my heart. There is just no one out there quite like him in my mind. I think my bias for Dean has come through more in recent times—especially since the finale, because I miss him very much and his shitty death gutted (DON'T) me.

I think watching the show, when you look at the story only through one characters' lens, it's very easy to resent the others for not being perfect friends/family/brothers. I have even seen someone voice the sentiment before, "To some degree, to love Sam is to hate Dean, and to hate Dean is to love Sam" (paraphrasing). The thing is, when you genuinely look at your favorite (whether that's Dean or Sam or Cas) and look at their motivations and feelings and actions, it's clear that they love each other very much. That's an unavoidable fact in my mind. Both the best and worst things they've done have been at least partially motivated by the love they have for one another. I cannot, ultimately, dislike Sam or Cas knowing how much Dean loves them. To hate them would be to hate a part of Dean that is innate to who he is—his love for his family—and the choices and sacrifices he has made due to that love. It would be to say that there is something broken inside him that makes him unable to make the right choices about who should and should not be in his life. It would be to say that the foundation of the show, at the center of which is Dean's heart and how people around him are pulled inside of its orbit, is something tainted and unworthy.

It would also be to say that Dean's mistakes are okay and theirs are not, because you will find countless parallel events and threads tying their different actions together in ways that are different but also are often very much the same, if you get their motivations.

I think, for every stan out there of any main character... it would be a good idea to watch through the show trying to see it through a lens besides that of your favorite. I did this with Sam, and I am currently doing a rewatch where one of the goals is to focus on Cas's point of view more. Nothing can give you greater compassion and understanding than trying to step inside someone else's shoes, and having done this is one of the primary reasons I can't bring myself to follow many SPN accounts I have come across on Tumblr, because resentment runs rampant in many places, over characters or ships, and I don't care for that negativity. It's also the primary reason I started this blog to begin with. I wanted to carve out a positive space, where I didn't completely refuse to engage with the characters flaws (god knows fandom won't shut up about them anyway), but a place where I pointed out their flaws only to say those flaws are okay, don't make any one of them more unworthy of love than any of the others. Those flaws (at least—the ones I agree exist... there's a lot of flaws attributed to Sam, Dean, and Cas that I don't agree with at all) are what makes them human (err... or angel, respectively). I am not interested in Mary Sues (and I am definitely not interested in fans who sand down characters into Mary Sues to escape any semblance of their favorite being "problematic"). Just show me why they make the choices they do, even when those choices are broken, and I'm compassionate and I'm fascinated. I dare anyone to do better than the characters did with the cards they were dealt—with the lives they lived.

I can't say I've had the same experience on Tumblr as you with blogs pretending to like Sam and Cas while having a clear bias for Dean... I've tended to see quite a lot more of the opposite or worse. There are, after all, several blogs dedicated to absolutely nothing except trying to spread outright hate for Dean, and there was a time not long ago that you could not even go in the Dean tag without seeing countless ugly posts spewing vitriol about him (that has faded significantly since the show ended). But I think we're all bound to be most wise to the bias against our favorites (hell—I have picked up on someone's dislike of Dean from a gif blog before... and it was later confirmed that I was right). This is also part of what feeds the culture of anti-ism in the fanbase. People watched these characters for 12-15 years, and they latched onto one of them, and they know that character, and in many cases find identity and comfort with that character, and they see that character accused of terrible things that really aren't accurate at all, and the kind of innate human response to that is to want to do the opposite—hate their favorite because they hate yours. I think it's clear that that isn't what we're really supposed to get out of SPN. I don't think the intended narrative is that Dean hates Cas or Sam or that Sam hates Dean or that any one of them is unworthy of love and acceptance or is perfect or is too flawed. People can choose the narratives they want, but I'll continue vehemently disagreeing with them and making fun of them with the tag #don't feed the stans after midnight.

#being serious for 5 seconds #spn finale poo poo #mail #don't feed the stans after midnight

[trisscar368]

So the last lines of Secondhand Lions started living in my head recently and it made me rewatch the film.

The last two lines of the movie are between the protagonist and a character who confirms the legends about the two old coots (Garth and Hob) and their adventures in Africa were true:

“They really lived?”

“Yeah. They really lived.”

Secondhand Lions is a beautiful story about stories. Legends. The things we should believe in so they can become true. It’s also one of the rare stories where characters you love die and it’s 95% happy at the end.

There’s an absolute end to the story of those two old men but it was the point and the beauty of the entire narrative structure. Garth tells Walter (the kid) a romance story that needs a happily ever after, and then you learn that this present story is what happens after that ‘happily ever after’. Not every story gets a perfect ending, but you’re in multiple stories throughout your life. You’ll inspire some after you’re gone. And sometimes it matters more that a story tells you something worth believing in; how else can it become real?

(Yes, Hogfather has also been living rent free in my head, why do you ask?)

Because Hob and Garth committed to letting Walter into their lives, because you know they lived full lives and loved fiercely, the knowledge that they died (doing what they loved) is the final chord in a song instead of a knife cutting the strings. We know as the audience that the music will echo and continue. Walter has his comics about the summer with Jasmine. The sheikh’s son has told similar stories to his son.

It’s okay that things end. Because this was a good story, and the next story will continue.

All of this works because the themes match the structure. We know the end of all three story threads when they start - Hob and Garth die before we know their names, Walter stays with his uncles, Jasmine died years ago and Hon came home. What matters thematically is that the characters lived. We see that life in depth, from the beginning of the adventure to the point the characters are old and grey. We learn the value of telling stories, and see how they keep the past and loved ones alive. The ending is never a surprise, it’s the answer to “what happened?”

This is the point where I devolve into a somewhat sad Supernatural blogger, cause… this is what the spn writers said they were aiming at with 15x20. Heroes who lived and died and the story is what remains, and they carry on past the point where you think the story should end. They live, and then they don’t, and you’re supposed to be okay with it.

The structure is where themes live and die. S15 as a whole only flirted with Carry On After I’m Gone briefly before Chuck returned, mourning Rowena and grieving Mary instead of bringing her back. “What comes next” isn’t answered because the crisis never stops, unless you count starting a new (romantic) story as an answer. You end up with 42 minutes to build your theme and show the execution — carry on, death and the afterlife is your rest and peace. It’s a linear progression to the conclusion, with repeated empty spaces from the beginning to the end where wounds still ache, even if something else fills the space for a while.

It’s such a world away from “they really lived”. From “a legacy is a seed planted that will grow and blossom.”

“Life has many stories, and ours will live on in the lives of those we touched and saved, long after we’re gone.”

Anyway. Go watch Secondhand Lions or something.

#pyromaniac’s guide to burning your narrative structure #fwf #yes i still have spn brainrot #it’s just sad brainrot cause this was never hard to fix

[incarnateirony]

So if deancaswedding is the blue hump and theirlovewasreal is the pink hump, what is the little green hump? (Also, when u said Neilson accounts 1 for 1000, do u mean 1000 tweets =1 person in the metrics or every 1 tweet is counted as 1000 ppl?)

That was Charmed.

No, 1000 to 1 means that Nielsen generally takes a tweet as worth 1000 viewers, it’s the super streamlined version of it.

Think of it like this, last Thursday by the end of the night, Walker had like 16.7K tweets or something once they all trickled in within hours. Walker had about 1.7Million viewers. 16.7K x 1000 = about 1.7M give or take.

It’s a rough art, not an absolute law or anything. But you’ll find it generally translates pretty well, because in a way it also ends up being their online advertising too for more viewership. *jazz hands*

So by standard of about 50K tweets x 1000 you’ve got about 50 million. Which... actually isn’t ridiculous, because SPN has dozens of millions of digital calls. I mean they’ve lost some of those millions since the finale (general reminder to stop streaming any CW show on any official/paid platform, including Netflix, CW, Amazon etc)

Reminder to continue to kick CW in the ass like that. You guys just saw your impact. You know what your reach was?

Twitter has about 30M accounts. Literally like 1/4 of all twitter saw that. 1/4 of the social media world had it in their eyes. AND FRANKLY MOST ACCOUNTS ARE IDLE, THERE’S ABOUT 8 MILLION ACTIVE ONES

Imagine if you guys found a way to get together--like we were trying, before bloggers with agendas tried to make everyone scatter by spreading profuse lies about smaller bloggers making efforts--and use that reach to let that many people know they should stop streaming on the CW/Netflix/Etc with a coordinated message? Imagine if you got half the social media world to drop it on its ass? More than already did?

Mind you SPN was considered at 77x franchiseability/trend/watch level compared to the average TV show (GOT was like 227 or some shit for an idea). Now SPN is down to 34x. Still high? Sure. Also dropped in half basically. Or more realistically lost about a third of its digital watching overall.

Get all their content hit like that.  Don’t let it go back up. Coordinate with every GC and server you have and continue to kick them in the pants.

Also right now even if your friends won’t be in for the PERMANENT boycott haul, at least get them to immediately drop all watches in February, then in May, live or stream both. Just... convince them. They can catch up a month later. It’s a sweeps thing.

And it’s why the CW is gonna be in some shit because they weren’t expecting Walker to be clocking a low 0.21 THIS soon. It’s all they have until the end of February where they set up their big premieres for one day. Walker’s performance is their “highest” to try to cling on to 0.21 during sweeps to sell their ad space with everything else like 0.12-0.19. It’s why Jared’s also been popping on to livetweet--the digital side of sweeps.

What y’all just did was took one giant titanic shit all over their star product’s value level and that’s why they’re salty and spamming inboxes.

I’ve said it before--the only group I haven’t been able to vertically scale meaningful impact into the GA are the wincel-brand bronlies. The only time my SPN ratings were off was when I tried to vertically integrate their impact/protest of tombstone into the audience the same way as everyone else was integrated for influence/ad response/impact and guess what--I under-speculated Tombstone by about 0.04 points, which was the value I had given them by scaling up (as opposed to something like a realistic 0.01 impact lol-- less really.)

You can, for example, scale them up into the current Walker show-- but you can only scale up the interest as “Jared invested fans watching for Jared, mostly women, mostly 35-49”, and generally not “rolls themselves up in tinfoil and lives in spn_goss spreading conspiracies and hates Misha Collins and Destiel”. So sure. They’re probably, in that essence, giving Walker about 0.04. That’s a 0.04 they’ll probably never lose for that reason. But they have to worry about like 0.28 other points in the 25-54 age demographic, or the 18-34 just bottoming out (it’s already down to 0.09, even with the two dem overlaps).

Those same numbers made them furious because I pointed out at that time, Cas himself gave a 0.03 boost and Destiel advertisement per episode gave an extra 0.03 boost, based not only episode to episode but season averages--I ran charts based on it and completely removed special episodes like Scoobynatural so they couldn’t cry that was the reason. 

The same people calling you a minority or wtfever are the same dipshits that episodes bounce UP every time they boycott because they can’t even make a dip. There’s like like 400-- 200 of them that are casual level antis, 150 strongly opinionated but really just still vaguely out there, and like 40-50 core noisemakers.

There are literally. Millions. of Destiel fans in the GA. This idea of a monolithic, completely DeanCas blind GA that hates all’y’all? Completely made up. Certain people just profit off of keeping the myth alive: antis that want you to have to take them or their arguments seriously; blogs that want you to argue for certain points or had certain demands they wanted to feed you to “convince” the GA of anything. Like sure there’s homophobes in the world but they won’t just stop being assholes at a magic landmark I promise, if events haven’t proven that yet. But every single census has put y’all in the majority, ratings scaling has put y’all in the majority, the fact that you can trend things at the drop of a hat WITHOUT official support keeps you in the majority (when’s the last national trend you saw for J2-Only fuckbuckets that didn’t involve something like Walker livetweeting for Walker to push up numbers? That’s right, never.)

If I had a ring of infinite wishing, I’d wish everyone looked critically at this information and then had an awakening that this underdog idea of Destiel Vision magically stopping in fandom spaces when MOST OF YOU CAME INTO FANDOM SPACES BECAUSE YOU SAW DESTIEL IN THE SHOW, and this GA that unilaterally hates you-- like

Guys-- what do you think it means that even with a bunch of Destiel fans still streaming or rewatching, that even with all of that, SPN has dropped viewing/streaming tiers and lost more than half its franchiseability rating since that ending? Really?

Again: now imagine if you convinced all your friends to do the same, spread the same, trend the same.

Nuke the CW. All their shows.

[diminuel]

I’ve hit the demon Dean era in my SPN rewatch and this made me go back to reading Small Lifeforms, one of my WIPs (a demon Dean era Mpreg story) that I haven’t updated in years.

There’s a couple of things I would write differently now (just in the first chapter) but I started writing it in 2015! I don’t know if I should rewrite those parts or just leave them be. I’ll probably leave it be unless I come across something that’s really bothering me.

(For now it’s just that Cas cries a bit too much compared to how little we’ve actually seen him cry over the years. I guess I just really wanted to finally see him cry. Now that the show has satiated this desire, I can look back and think maybe shedding some tears three times in one chapter is too much *lol*.)

P.S. Also Dean says “baby” instead of “babe” when talking to Cas. I think “baby” as an endearment for a partner sounds weird now. I didn’t in 2015 but modern day!Steffi wants to change it X’D Also, modern day!Steffi would probably not include it at all when Dean prefers to use things like “buddy” and “pal” for Cas and I find the idea funny that he’d continue to do it even if they got together.

#Effi stuff

[spn-romantica]

So I watched SPN for years, right up until the end of S11, when they brought back Mary. I heard that S15 would be the last season, and I was like ‘oh ok I’ll rewatch (for like the 8th time) and finish SPN then’ BUT THEN 15x18 happened and I was violently pulled back into the SPN fandom. I still haven’t caught up fully watching yet, but I’ve read so much discourse now...and I have thoughts. Hypotheses currently. I’ll wait to finish the whole show for real to call any of this theories but, I wanted to record my thoughts.

They’re about Chuck. As a villain. Which weirds me out. As an antagonist? Sure. As evil? No. Can’t envision it. I just finished my rewatch of S5 and, damn, but if Chuck is the ultimate villain, S5 reads very differently. :0

But I recently saw a post comparing Dean’s reaction in 1x18 (I believe) to his in 10x05 (for sure) about when someone mentions his mother’s death. In 1x18, it’s Sam when they were children and Dean gets angry. In 10x05, it’s a group of high school girls and Dean just bops his head along to the song. The post was framing it as 10x05 not understanding Dean’s thoughts about his mother, but I think that both episodes understand Dean. When Dean is a child, the trauma over his mother’s murder is still fresh. By 10x05, the event is 70 years in the past. Of course it still affects Dean. Of course. You never really get over something like that. But I’d argue that after 70 years, Dean has moved through the stages of grief to acceptance. It still hurts, but like an old ache, not a fresh, still-bleeding wound.

Interestingly, 10x05 is when we see Chuck, after a long absence. He’s watching the play, probably happy that someone loves his work enough to even make a musical, but he is also watching the Winchesters. The actual episodes of the show, aka the books Chuck writes, are what Chuck knows/cares about regarding the Winchesters. Despite being God, I’d argue he doesn’t pay attention to every second and all the little minutia of the boys’ lives. So, here in 10x05, we have confirmation that Chuck is around to see that Dean has healed from his mother’s death.

Later, in S11, Dean acts as therapist/life counsellor to Chuck/God, regarding Amara and Lucifer. And it works! Dean teaches God about family and about healing. Why does God listen to Dean Winchester, a random human? Perhaps it is because of S1-5. Perhaps it is because Dean and Sam were part of God’s test, as God himself describes it in 5x22.

What was the test? Was it God’s experiment about choice and free will? About freedom vs peace? Or, perhaps, was God trying to understand sibling relationships? He and Amara are two faces of the same coin. They are siblings, but with very different outlooks and it caused a rift between them, caused Chuck to seal Amara away before she could destroy his creations. Chuck regretted this, but saw it as a necessary betrayal. But then, some time later, Chuck’s angelic children experience their own betrayal and sibling rift. Lucifer tries to turn the angels against God, rebel and reject God. He makes demons, for sure, and maybe even Hell. But why? God figures that Lucifer was maybe jealous of the new baby (humans) like others in the show postulates. Or maybe Lucifer had beef specifically with Michael, because humans are little more than amoebas from an angelic perspective. Aside from Castiel, Anna and a handful of other angels, angels consistently view humans as humans might view dust mites. Maybe humans were the cause of the rift between Michael and Lucifer, but it was Michael and Lucifer’s relationship that needed fixing in the end, regardless.

So God is left with the sad conclusion that maybe close siblings will inevitably betray each other and be unable to forgive and heal. He wants to heal with Amara. But he also wants Michael and Lucifer to be able to heal. (It doesn’t occur to God that maybe Lucifer’s problem was never with humanity or Michael; it was with God.)

So God has research to do, to see if it’s possible for siblings to experience such deep betrayal and still heal. He turns to his little hairless apes, the only sentient species on Earth with potential to parallel the angels. He starts testing siblings. Cain and Abel are first up. Needless to say, but the betrayal was too strong and left no room for healing. But on down the line of Cain, God continues testing. Eventually, we come to Sam and Dean.

God has scheduled Michael and Lucifer’s family counselling session for 2010. All the data up to this point says it can only end badly. Maybe it’ll half-kill the Earth, but it’s finally time for Michael and Lucifer to meet and for one of them to die. God isn’t happy about this conclusion, but it’s what the data says. So, finally, the last test subjects, the last in the line who will be the vessels for Michael and Lucifer’s showdown, arrive. Sam and Dean Winchester are to be the last sibling test. The conclusion seems foregone at this point, but there is no point in cancelling the last bit of the test after so long, so it continues. God watches. And Sam and Dean surprise God. Siblings after siblings had failed for millennia to heal. Betrayals too strong, healing too little, too late. But Sam and Dean. no matter how badly they hurt each other, find a way to come back together and heal. They don’t give up on each other, despite millennia of data to the contrary. Still, the angels and demons push and push at Sam and Dean until their rift is as wide and as deep as Michael and Lucifer’s, as God’s and Amara’s (in late S4). It seems, despite the brothers’ best efforts earlier on, it’s all for naught.

But there is a further element of randomness, something God couldn’t foresee. Castiel. God hasn’t had occasion for romantic love in his own experience, so he is entirely blind to what choices Castiel is likely to make. He provides an element of randomness to the experiment, an essential part that gives Dean the ultimate chance to go back to Sam and begin to heal (4x22).

Throughout S5, Sam and Dean heal. There is hurt, still, of course, but they love each other and forgive each other. By 5x22, they’ve surprised everyone. Even the angels have given up on turning them against each other, and have shrugged and settled for using Nick and Adam as the vessels for the showdown. Sam and Dean passed their test. They were siblings who betrayed each other and healed from it. God reconsiders how family counselling will go with Michael and Lucifer. He figured it would be the Apocalypse, the end of the problems between Michael and Lucifer, as one of them dies, as had always happened before. But, Sam and Dean showed God, that though it is rare, it is possible to heal. So God gives Sam and Dean an out. He gives Sam the strength to seize back control from Lucifer, should things go south.

Finally, the showdown arrives. Michael and Lucifer meet. They talk things out. To God’s surprise, Lucifer reveals that he never had a problem with Michael. He had forgiven Michael long ago. But Michael couldn’t forgive Lucifer. He had to be a ‘good son’ and do what he thought God wanted him to do. But Michael didn’t realise, that God doesn’t give orders. Free will all the way, baby! But the whole thing comes as a surprise. Apparently, all this time, the problem relationship wasn’t siblings, it was parents.

Oops.

Good thing God had a back-up plan.

Sam throws himself and Lucifer (and Michael and Adam) into the Cage. Michael and Lucifer have an eternity to figure things out between each other now. But that’s beside the point. The point is, now, that God has to start testing all over again. Not how to fix sibling relationships, but how to fix parent-child relationships.

God restores Castiel, perhaps for a few reasons because God exists outside of time, but originally it may have been just for one. He likes Castiel. He is impressed that Castiel invented free will for himself, broke free of angelic programming (multiple times over), and did it all for love. It’s novel. It’s interesting. God might even think it’s sweet. But God has had time later, and thought about it, and he has a plan. And Castiel is essential.

But Dean Winchester is the key.

Sam and Dean’s relationship with their own father has been strained, but both boys find a way to forgive John his flaws and failings, and love him. Whenever they do get a chance to see him again, post his death, they don’t hate him. They’ve healed. John’s relationship with Sam and Dean is one point of data, Abraham and Isaac another. There are many data points that God can reflect back on and consider.

But as S6 through S10 roll on, God watches Sam and Dean and Castiel. He even watches Crowley and Rowena for another data point. Dean is his main focus, however. (This is a little meta, but as the story focuses more on Dean than Sam post S5, it ties in. Prior to S6, both Sam and Dean were essential - the sibling test. Now, post S5, the parent test, Dean is the most essential. Of course, Sam and Castiel are important too. But Dean is key.)

Dean is a good father. He was a good father to Sam, even when he was only 6 years old himself. He was a good father to Ben. He was willing to die for Bobby John. He’s always good with kids. Not only that, but Dean is blunt enough, brave enough, and crazy enough to tell God to God’s face what he thinks. God needs Dean’s advice, his perspective and opinion on family relationships, but he also needs to see what Dean would do if he were in God’s shoes.

[Edit (1/04/21): After seeing Michael and Lucifer (mostly) heal, and after seeing Sam and Dean heal their relationship, God finally has hope for him and Amara. So God logically wants to retrieve Amara from her prison. But how? Well, he could just wander on up to Cain and do it himself, but what would Amara say? “So I see you’ve come crawling back, eh, Chucky?” She wouldn’t be impressed with God. She wouldn’t understand, because she’s hopeless too. SO how to give her hope? How to make her see that she and God can be okay again? Why, stick her near Dean Winchester, of course! So God sets things up for Dean to get and lose the Mark of Cain, thereby ensuring that Amara will feel a connection to Dean and stick around him/keep him alive long enough for Dean to work his life-coach magic.]

In S11, God and Amara heal their relationship because of the hope Sam and Dean gave God, and also the direct advice Dean gives God. God and Lucifer, not so much.

God needs more data. He needs to see what Dean would do. In comes Castiel’s relevance. God sets things up so that Lucifer can have a son. A nephil. Jack. And God points Castiel in Jack’s direction, trusting Castiel’s ability for unconditional love to keep Jack alive long enough for the experiment. Castiel becomes Jack’s father. But Castiel will never betray Jack, the way God betrayed Lucifer. And, besides, Castiel isn’t the target of this experiment. But it is Castiel’s relationship with Dean Winchester that provides the link needed to get the experiment rolling.

Because Jack is Castiel’s son, he is therefore Sam and Dean’s nephew. Except, God has been watching Castiel and Dean. And, frankly, their romantic love for each other is so obvious even God cannot miss it. Through Castiel, Dean sees Jack as his son too. He loves Jack, exactly like a son. In this way, Dean parallels God, and Jack parallels Lucifer.

But God knows Dean would not easily turn on any child, let alone his own child. So God had a plan for that too. One that Amara helped him with.

They brought back Mary Winchester.

Mary is the one person in existence whose loss would hurt Dean enough to spur him to action. So, she was brought back to die. It was a matter of only a few years of gentle prodding to get everything in position. Jack causes Mary’s death. Dean is faced with a horrible decision. If Jack can kill Mary, what’s to say that Sam and Castiel wouldn’t be next? Mary’s death is like everything beginning all over again for Dean as well. Her first death set off a chain reaction, a series of unfortunate events that spanned decades and nearly caused the ruination of not only Dean’s life, but Sam’s and John’s and even the world. That scar, which had healed as well as it could after 70 years, that God saw was healed in 10x05, has been violently opened up again. It’s the only thing that could force Dean’s hand, that could get him to betray Jack and try to kill him. If Jack had killed Sam or Castiel, it wouldn’t have had the same effect. Both Sam and Castiel had died and come back so many times, and while it would hurt Dean and make him doubt Jack, their deaths would be a sacrifice that Dean would feel obligated to respect, to give Jack a second chance like they would both want. (And God has been laying the groundwork for Dean, convincing him that Jack is evil, will be evil like Lucifer, can’t be allowed to live. All things God has thought about Lucifer over time. Was Lucifer inherently evil? Was their rift inevitable?)

So, here it is. The big test. Will Dean kill Jack? Will he betray Jack and cause an unhealable rift? Or will he find a way to heal, like he did with Sam against all the odds?

And, once again, Dean impresses God. He refuses to kill Jack.

But now we’re in the endgame. Sam, Dean and Castiel are aware that Jack’s life was only on the line because of God. It’s not something they can forgive, or understand. They’re all God’s guinea pigs, and while he loves his guinea pigs, he knows he’s hurt them in the name of science, of knowledge. or healing, and God can’t undo what he’s done. Free will is linear, after all. So it is time for the Winchesters, Castiel and Jack included, to be done with God. God is done with them, too. It’s time for them to be free and at peace. The experiments are done. God has decided not to kill Lucifer. He has decided to try to heal. He can get Lucifer out of the Empty and talk and try to fix things. He has forever to fix things, now that he knows he can. (The last element of this, Jack forgiving Dean for trying to kill him, is something I have limited knowledge of, but I am under the impression happens so... To be added in the edit once I finish the series.)

But the only way the Winchesters will be able to rest, is if they think God, the last and greatest villain, is out of the way. They know they’ve been manipulated their whole lives, first towards the sibling experiment and now the parent experiment, so they need to think God is gone so they can feel secure in their free will once more. Truthfully, God never took their free will. He set them up in situations, maybe even gave a bio-chemical nudge of anger (Dean) or attraction (Sam and Eileen) every now and then. But the choices were always theirs. Still, God knows they won’t see it that way. So he sets things up so that they can defeat him.

He lets them win. He wants them to win. They cannot defeat God, after all. It’s not God’s time, and Death is the only one who can claim God in the end, as the two embrace as friends and walk to the next existence. But the Winchesters need this, and so God allows it. A last gift, to the beings who have been such help, hope and inspiration to him.

With an eye for an eventual S16, 15x20 is written to be ‘an ending’ but also one that could easily be reframed as a bad dream.

For example...

Unfortunately, after Jack, suped up on a extra Grace God lent him, restores the Earth and expends all the Grace (”giving up the mantle of God so that their is no God, no plans, only Free Will”), and Dean, Sam and Jack head back to the Bunker to regroup and gather the ingredients to do the spell to rescue Castiel from the Empty, they’re jumped by monsters who are angry with how much God has fucked with them on behalf of the Winchesters. 15x20 is all a djinn dream Dean is trapped in.

16x01 is Dean waking himself up from the djinn dream, Sam and Jack escaping their own monsters, and then the end of 16x01 is Dean saying something about waking Castiel up from his own dreams in the Empty. The rest of S16 sees the boys save Castiel, reunite with Eileen, start a monster-hunting Bobby Singer/Men of Letters-esque organisation, Dean and Castiel getting together and getting married on Valentine’s Day, Jack getting to live a normal life, going to school, making friends, etc.

If their is no S16 ever (which would be criminal), then 15x20 makes no sense, unless it is plainly a recount of an old, hopeless ending written by God. However you spin it, 15x20 is not the way it seems (like owls).

All things being said, God is an antagonist, but he’s not evil. He’s an asshole, sure, but he never once worked against the Winchesters, never bet against them, never tried to erase or end them. He wanted them to win. He wanted to see the fruits of free will be love, second chances, hope, forgiveness, healing, and happiness, not just betrayal, pain, selfishness, jealousy, disappointment, and hopelessness.

Why is the ending he shows Becky ‘hopeless’? Because God is. He has spent his long existence losing his most loved family members. Amara, Lucifer. How can things end well for God, when they can’t even end well for humans? But Sam and Dean defy the script, again and again. They surprise God, defying the statistics, defying the hypotheses, throwing the experiment into disarray. Giving God hope. Sam and Dean were okay. Dean and Jack were okay. If God had a romantic love, he would find hope from Dean and Castiel being okay. But when God wrote the book he showed Becky, he was writing what he thought would happen. In the end, surely, not even Dean can be enough to hold Sam and Cas and Jack together. But in the end, as we see, as God sees, he is proven wrong and he’s happy to be wrong. He’s hopeful. And he can leave Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack, and all the angels and all the humans, to rule the Earth and the Heavens. He doesn’t need to learn anything more from them, so he heads to the Empty, with Amara, with Lucifer, with Death (Billie or not, Death is there for God in the end), and they can all depart for a better existence of their own.

If you read all of this, thanks! I eagerly anticipate watching the remaining 10 seasons so I can come back and edit the heck outta this, but until then, if y’all have any thoughts, I’d be interested to hear them~

TLDR: God is a morally bankrupt scientist and the Winchesters are his guinea pigs, but he’s not evil and he does love his guinea pigs, even if he could really treat them nicer.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #jack kline #castiel #god #chuck #amara #lucifer #mary winchester #destiel #deancas #this is what i get for living on spn tumblr in a post s15 world while rewatching s5 and having memories ranging from hq to 8bit about s1-s11 #be kind i haven't finished my rewatch/finished the show so i probably have stuff wrong #what if god isn't evil just has no inherent moral compass because he has to teach himself everything #and he's taken to using the winchesters as his guinea pigs/life counsellors