#i should really go to fucking bed

[lazylittledragon]

do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

#ramble #yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am #and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. #drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks #i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me #one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know #i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary #some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier #and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless #signs that i should go to bed ^^^^ #i will resume my pity party tomorrow

[mattodore]

a little update on what i've been doing in the sims lately! don't mind the huge walls of text for once i'm saying things in the post instead of the tags lmao

matthias's scars are very slowly coming along! i really love his left leg scar but can't really show all of it because i'd have to get him naked for that and it also wraps around his leg. um, but it starts at the side of his hip and carves down at an angle before abruptly following a steep line to the back of his calf. it looks gnarly which is exactly what i'm trying to achieve with matthias's scars! i'm also pretty pleased with the scars on his wrists and side, but the scar he has on the back of his right leg is... a little too crunchy? i don't know, it just looks weird. it's kind of hard to get the scars i'm making to look good on matthias's body. especially scars that're smaller or delicate... like the instant loss of quality makes me want to chew on exposed wires. but that's where i've left off on them! his arms and back are where he has the most damage but my god... it's SO difficult trying to get scars to look nice over his biceps and back muscles. also the hair ties i made for him look nice on his wrist <3

theo's apartment is also finally in the works. i've got the base layout finished and a general idea of what all the rooms are for. building and decorating isn't actually that daunting to me, surprisingly—instead, what's actually causing me a lot of grief is the realization that this is too big for theo to really be comfortable in. so, i was thinking, okay, that's fine, just get rid of three of the rooms and scale down the living area. only to pause and take into account the fact that theo's parents pay for this. they're controlling and also very big on appearance so i'm not sure they'd be fine with their son living in a shoebox—i mean, what would people say if word got to them that he doesn't even have a walk-in closet? like... that's the kind of people they are. but i wanted theo to feel comfortable in his apartment so now i'm feeling conflicted on how i want it to look. i'm definitely going to scale down the bedrooms and the living area... but it'll still feel too big to theo. there are just too many corners for him to ever fully let his guard down... which, hm... well, maybe that fits the story more anyway.

this is his general aesthetic for the interior btw... i want it to be brown, cream, and green all throughout the apartment with splashes of orange (this mix between his old dorm and his childhood home but with something new blending it together). i really wanted him to have stained glass windows in his kitchen and bathroom but couldn't find any </3 so sadly that's not happening. and i need to find a nice curio cabinet for his collection of bells... along with bells too lmao. but that's where i'm at so far! i'm seriously going to just sit here in build mode for hours just... trying to figure out how to make this place more comfortable for theo. like it's supposed to be where he feels safe but it's just too much rn.

#river dipping #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #also if anyone has any tips on getting scars or other skin details to look good let me know please... #i'd love to try projection painting again but my laptop is too slow and i can't get opengl to function on my desktop </3 #like i get an error every time i try to open matthias's .obj and even reddit is failing me on a fix for it <///3 #and okayyy theo's apartment!! i'm so torn up abt it now #but does his bed not look super fucking comfortable... #i might have to change his bed to that queen bed in the guest room just because the one in theo's room is... interestingly colored. #i'm going to recolor it to just plain white/cream sheets... and maybe mess with the mesh a bit. really i should test the bed in game #bc i'm not sure it'll work very well... #i wanted theo to have a wooden headboard but all of the ones i had like that just didn't look like he could nestle into them #he's just. a little guy. if i can't picture theo curling up in the center of the bed then it just won't work #but yeah. that’s my update ☝️ #........i'm super excited to start on the home matthias buys shortly after he starts falling in love with theo btw #the floor plan in my head is so beautiful and it's all very open... bc <3 matthias was thinking abt putting theo in his home from the jump #long post

[revolvinghearts]

PARANOIA !!

#hermitcraft #hermitcraft s8 #mumbo jumbo #painting #anyways this was based on mumbos s8 ep 34 its so cool #originally i was gonna draw and put all the signs in the back but it looked like a bit much so i didnt really know what to do for the bg #so i was like should i put the moon? moon big? but it didnt look right #so i just put the initial sketch into the bg and i think it looks pretty neat :)) #really pushes the whole fucked up stressed and needs to go to bed thing hes got goin on TFGHJ #mumbo k jumbo #does anybody actually use tag?? idk.but i want people to see this so

[b4kuch1n]

made a mushroom pin that's also the hardest object to photograph on earth. I still have a brick and a half of air dry clay left so I hope to make more :]

#bakuspecial #I dont think I have a craft tag lmao. well #really wanted to make the gills on these shrooms more uh. physical. but I did Not have the patience for it fskjdfhdj #next time hopefully I will have more. #also the matte spray is really cool... its cocomelon shit to me it really does dry matte...... #the other pins in that first pic are from a saigon art shop and a prize for a queer art contest I placed in two years ago #I need a good way to display them lol. mostly so I dont lose them #need to make like a scroll of fabric or something to hang on the bookshelf #my vision for this thing is a nice wide brimmed hat thats earth toned and I paint it to look like a log #and figure out how to embroider moss on it. and then mushroom pins #its genuinely not my style at all lmao I just wanna try and make it #alright I should go to bed soon.... Im gettin another stretch of sleepin at normal human hours for a while. best to make use of it #have a good night lads! making some fucked up little things really is so fuckin good for ur brane n mind

[thatgirlonstage]

sometimes a show throws a scenario at you that you could see coming a hundred miles off but that in no way is gonna prevent you from going absolutely feral over it. Anyway I binged all of Link Click in like three days and I'm going to start chewing furniture about the end of S2

#link click #am I SURPRISED that lu guang is without question on board to #go against all his own rules and break reality for cxs? #not really. it's kind of what you expect just from the premise #am i still screaming into a pillow about it? #OH ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY #FUCKING MADOKA SHIT. HELP ME. #fellas is it gay to fuck with time and disregard all possible consequences #because the alternative is letting your Best Friend die and that's simply not an option #i want... to write... bed sharing fic so bad #they really made CXS For Me like #you have the absolutely perfect excuse to just drop this boy into a trauma blender at any given moment #anyway i think he should get like. trapped in a cave-in or something #anything that makes him terrified of being left alone #and when he comes back out he just desperately needs lg to hold him and not let go

[solarpunkani]

Oh yeah speaking of going to chill with The Ladies, I hope to go tomorrow (and my mom wants to come too lmfao) and it will be the first Official Test of the sunflower bag of legend

First official test meaning first time I'm gonna carry it with stuff in it outside of the house.

All I really plan to put in there is some balls of yarn, some hooks, maybe some scissors, and my little flat tray of safety pins and yarn needles, so nothing too too heavy (well except for my 1 pound yarn balls but yknow) but I'm still both excited and nervous. If I really wanna test it out, I might put my ipad in there for good measure.

I'll report back with my results.

#listen I KNOW I should probably make a liner #but full honesty. I don't know how. and I'm too nervous to fuck up the bag somehow trying to do it #it might be more of a decorative outing backpack purse kinda deal #something to wear to craft meet ups or maybe to hold my stuff when I go to garden sales/festivals who knows #honestly like while im not planning to monetize this hobby by selling sunflower bags. if i really wanted to. like. #garden sales would probably be a half decent place to find the target audience #anyways i need to go bed its 12:30 gnight

[sodrippy]

i love waking up early but going to bed early??? is there no joy in this world??? must i be denied even the simplest of pleasures????

#honestly in an ideal world i wake up at 4am fuck around for 2 hours workout second-breakfast then office hours #unfortunately that means i have to go to bed at 6pm and thats insane behaviour even if i didnt finish work at 6 #we should have evolved out of needing so much sleep its really lame. except when its awesome #not to mention i have absolutely no energy living like this which is also so fucking sucks #like i want to DO stuff after work i want to read and paint and embroider #instead im so fucking tired i just die #anyway its fine ill adjust i just have to fahking soldier through. i think this week might be a washout though :/

[thiefbird]

We are once more reading JSTOR for fanfiction purposes: I gotta know how long a medical degree took at Trinity in the 1790s For Reasons

#this trans stephen maturin AU has grown Backstory bc i cannot just Write it has to Make Sense #ive gotten attached to mona. a character without a last name and who is referenced like. twice #i have 6 pages of backstory notes #and much more in my brain. but i cant write them down until i know how long getting his MD took #aubreyad #aubreyad fanfic #aubrey maturin #aubrey maturin fanfic #jack aubrey #stephen maturin #its really helpful that he went to trinity tho. bc i went to trinity. i know Places. #i dated an enviromental biologist there too. which is funny. my mother commented on their similarity tbh. bc Z is also v autistic #but i know The Places. ive been in the Old Bits where he would have had classes(they dripped water on my head while i was Learning) #and i know how the city Feels. like. the roads. #fuck i miss dublin. i should go to bed befoelre The Crying starts #or find an article thatll let me read it #need to remember to beg my mothers JSTOR access this weekend

[cywscross]

You just don't think antis are a problem because they're not in your fandoms. Once they start making posts with thousands of likes accusing you of being a pedophile and threatening to find out where you live and work so they can report your pedophilic tendencies because you ship teenagers (shounen characters), you'll start caring very quickly. Not in favour of that happening to you? Cool, you're a proshipper.

The fuck

#just woke up to get a glass of water #checked my phone and saw this #took me a whole minute to figure out what was going on lmao #it’s way too early to argue and also I don’t care enough at five in the morning #I just want to ask since when the fuck does teen wolf not have antis #holy shit the amount of antis in this fandom even years after the dumb show is over #but anyway I think you’re missing the point #there shouldn’t be proshippers or antis cuz it’s so pointless #pretty sure that’s what op meant #and nobody should care so much about it that they’re attacking ppl over it like you said #cuz don’t like don’t read is like basic decency and common sense #and most ppl have a lot more real life problems to deal with #than caring about what someone else thinks about character A going down on character B or whatever the problem is #but literally nobody is saying antis aren't a problem #we're actually saying antis are ridiculous for making such a big deal about sth that really doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things #that’s my 5am contribution I’m going back to bed

[borkwolf]

Help I am rewatching Ninjago with my roommate and I have been catapulted directly back into the fandom. mmmrrrghh legos

#perhaps i will draw the silly little pajama people. or who knows perhaps it will inspire me to finally sit down and Write Things!!! #hmm thinking about it. making a ninjago rewrite would probably be fun. but also i should probably wait until i rewatch the seasons i have #watched and catch up on the seasons that i have not seen #ninjago was my first ever fandom and it was inevitable that i would someday fall back into it LMAO. i have been staying up reading fanfics #like i have not really done for a LONG while. and they are giving me!!! so many ideas!!!!!!!!! #i have to learn how to draw people so i can draw these goofy fucks #ANYWAYS #this is borkwolf and it is 7:14 am. i am going to bed now :] #bork borking into the void #ninjago

[maureen-corpse]

Every time my posts about Bones or Lucille Sharpe’s piano get notes I feel a little thrill of glee. Like yes fandoms from the mid 2010s I am here for you. I also think there should have been more women kissing women in [murder-filled fandom]. Good thing we can put it there ourselves.

#i know bones started in the mid 2000s but it lasted a long time ok #sorry for equating crimson peak and bones in this post but also a fucked up bones au for crimson peak would rule #picture it: edith cushing brilliant forensic anthropologist #thomas sharpe a wet cat who somehow became an fbi agent #lucille sharpe a serial killer #the forensic anthropology gets abandoned really fast #in favor of a forensic incestuous triad. and probably treason #the treason was for love #this is a sign i should go to bed probably

[coquelicoq]

you guys would not believe the multitudes i contain. on the one hand i found myself thinking today "pachelbel's canon fucks. like, severely." on the other hand my 17yo cousin thinks i am "really cool" (he doesn't know about my pachelbel's canon opinions). i tried to go up the down escalator at the airport and didn't realize for SEVERAL steps, then tripped on my suitcase at the bottom and exclaimed "LORD ALMIGHTY!" in the middle of a large crowd of people who had watched this happen. a guy at the airport today saw me writing a crossword and came over to talk to my mom about it because apparently he had been on a flight with us a few days ago and saw me doing the same thing (he asked her if i was "coding". on graph paper, bro??). i wore a long, full-skirted floral dress to a wedding and did a little photo shoot of me manspreading and looking disaffected under a neon sign reading "let's party" and my entire family is obsessed with it. i brought a card and a pen to the wedding and made all of my relatives (including the bride lol) sign it for my grandmother who was unable to attend, but i was also super rude to my mom and had to apologize a few hours later after i had calmed down. a baby puked on me and it made my day. my sister said i have "really good taste in music" (she also doesn't know about my pachelbel's canon opinions) but also i am apparently the person who introduced her to janelle monáe, so point to me. the 17yo who thinks i'm cool seemed reluctant to stop talking to me at the wedding because he was afraid we would not see each other again to which i should have been like "dude do we not have telephones? and the internet?? and are we not both members of this family that gets together every few years???" but instead i was like "i know your address! i'll send you a card!" (he wants to be a dentist so i'm now congratulating myself for having saved every "i got my teeth cleaned!" sticker i was ever given as a child, because now i can send them to him and give him all of my very important anthropomorphized tooth clip art opinions.) walt whitman whomst.

#i think pachelbel's canon is good and guess what it probably actually is good. but i do feel very basic for liking it so much #like anyone who's ever played the violin is going to think very pretentious thoughts at me now that i've admitted this #whatever! i don't know anything about it except IT FUCKS! END OF STORY!!!!! #this post is incoherent but guess who was out of it enough to try to go up the down escalator?? so it's not really my fault actually #that was like an hour and a half ago so as you can imagine i am even less coherent now #i should be in bed but i remembered i needed to read some french and now i'm procrastinating. i make such good decisions when i'm tired <3 #i did successfully fill a grid for a crossword at the airport though!! and it has reflectional symmetry which i found very difficult #Good For Me #my posts

[arthur-r]

hello new self portrait just dropped which means this is officially what i look like now

#i have glasses now!!!! i’m not very good at drawing them but i sure have them on my face at all times shdhdf #and i recently started growing out my hair!!!! my distinctive bowl cut had a good run but i’m officially moving forward #i’ve also started exaggerating my big droopy sad eyelashes a LOT in pictures lately it’s part of my core identity now or something #(that’s not true shdhdf but i think my face knew about my puppydog destiny long ago and gave me puppydog eyes) #anyway i just haven’t drew anything in forever like i think i’ve drew four things that weren’t JUST notebook doodling. all this school year #(and one of those was vent art on paper and the other one was coloring with my little sister. so i’ve drew two things on ibispaint at all) #anyway i think my glasses suit me really good and i’m also really excited i can see the world really good now #i still have some vision problems from POTS that aren’t fixed but like. i can see detail in brick walls now and i’m obsessed #house fucker behavior i’m so sorry shdhdhdff (THIS IS A JOKE AND LIE. I DONT FUCK HOUSES) #(and i’m apparently a house m.d. kinnie so i wouldn’t fuck him EITHER cause we’re the same person i could never) #ANYWAYS i can see well finally and that’s good. and in conclusion i’m real tired and should go to bed #i took my meds at 9:30 then started drawing at 10 finished at 11:30 #and now it’s midnight and i’m long overdue to be asleep already. so goodnight world!!!! #i have a sleepover tomorrow night which is very exciting. and also work and homework as usual shdhdf #but in the meantime i get to sleep. for up to 12 hours!!!! here’s hoping #ok anyway!!!! goodnight!!!! #P.S. text or call if you need anything!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later (probably)

[the-knife-consumer]

Forgot just how upsetting gloomed korok forest is

#idk. just this one sanctuary that was different from the rest in that all of these spirits only link and a few others #can see are offering you help and safety. care uniquely for you. a bed for YOU. YOUR sword. kept safe for 100 years for YOU. #thrown together shops just for YOU because nobody else goes here or even knows it exists. #and then you return and the people who cared so much about you dont even speak to you anymore #they cant speak. they just stand there #idk korok forest made me feel the most like i fucked up somehow #rito village was bad but still livable. if things got any worse then they would have to abandon home until it settled #but no one was in immediate life threatening danger #gerudo was really REALLY bad and people were in danger. just all crammed inside a bunker. no going into town because your #home doesnt belong to you anymore #and then the zora were ... idk felt the least pressing even though it definitely should be bc like. they breathe water. #if the water is gross theyll die. but idk something about how it was executed felt less terrible #maybe they outwardly expressed more hope? idk. same with the gorons didnt feel like there was a pressing threat #but korok forest is fucking AWFUL. god #idk. nobody in hyrule talks about it because they dont know there are people there. nobody else can see them so nobody knows #somethings wrong. with no lead into it finding korok forest the way it is just feels soooo much worse. #idk. on my first playthru i kind thought i fucked up and shouldve gotten there sooner. #it just feels like no matter what youre too late and its your fault

[goatpaste]

#sorry holding myself back from putting a handful of ships i dont even really care about but think are kinda funny or whatever #like foo and anasui because i think they should kill each other #any variation of the sbr quad labeled as 'whatever the fuck these guys had going on' #orr whatever dio vanilla and hol was doing #OR MAGENTA MAGENTA AND WEKAPIPO BECAUSE THATS SOOO FUNNY THEIR JUST DISCOUNT GYJO #or esikar because i was like i felt they were on teh more popular side and would dominate this poll #OR AHHH..kira and shinobu im literally so soorry #COUPLES WHO MAKE EACH OTHER WORSE #like i dont like them as a fr thing and thats the main reason im not putting them on here because i trust no one with that concept #buT THEIR INSANE TOGEATHER #love them for that #but yeah no suuuper self indulgent poll its late o clock i need to go to bed onc ei finish this ep of trixie motel