#i should stop making myself sad with all this overthinking

[eisdendrobium]

fly high, my little dove

pairings : ayato x reader summary : you've loved ayato for so long yet never once had he return the feeling, so with a heavy heart you decides to let go.

"i like you, Lord Kamisato."

you could see his eyes widened and a surprised chuckle left his mouth. "what is it that you like in me?" strong yet curious eyes stare at you, waiting for your answer

"well.. you're kind and.. charming, i mean you could protect inazuma and fight,, it's really cool you know..?" you answered with such uncertainty in you.

i mean, it's not that you're making up excuses for liking the Yashiro Commissioner, it's just the way his eyes stare at you so intently with an expression you couldn't read.

he opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out for a second-probably thinking what he's going to say.

"what makes you suddenly say all of this to me?"

"i- well.. i made a bet with Miko, she said that if i got accepted at a company in sumeru i should confess to you, and... i got accepted"

he nods his head, and stays silent for a moment before speaking again. "but you're just confessing right? not..." your eyes widen and you shake your head "no! of course not! ...i'm just confessing"

suddenly an unexpected adrenaline runs in you and you muster up your courage to ask him your last question,

"well... how about you?"

"well i don't really have any plans on leaving inazuma right now.." a way to make the situation more awkward ayato.

"no- i mean.. do you see yourself dating..." you mutter, eyes casting downwards, suddenly losing your braveness

"pardon? could you please repeat that? i didn't quite catch it"

"do you see yourself dating, Lord Kamisato?" "i'm sorry?" if it weren't for the suffocating atmosphere you were sure you'd strangle this man to death for making you repeat that three time. but you repeat your question anyway, making sure it's louder this time.

and how you could see the way his face fell into hesitation, he turns his head to the side and let out a breath "uhm.. i'm sorry, but.. i don't see myself dating anyone right now"

ouch.

you inhale a deep breath and plaster a big smile on your face "oh, yeah! it's fine, i totally understand!"

Ayato gave you a small sympathetic smile "sorry" and proceed to leave the scene.

Miko, who's waiting not far from the scene went out of her hiding spot after Ayato walks away. You could see the sad smile on her face as she embraces you.

tears starts pouring out of your eyes while you try so desperately wipe them off but it never seem to stop flowing anyway.

you tell yourself that it was better to tell him now and move on later than never telling him how you feel, over and over again yet somehow, it hurts. so damn much.

Miko tries to comfort you yet it just made you feel worse "shh... it's okay.. let it all out.. it's his loss rejecting an angel like you.."

his words of rejection keeps playing inside your head, and oh how your heart broke even more every time you remember. You feel like a fool. Loving a Yashiro Commissioner and thinking he would feel the same way as you.

---

ever since that day, you starts to avoid ayato at all cost, i mean how could you not? every time you look at him you feel the urge to break. So, you disappear, always leaving the scene whenever he enters or hiding amongst the crowd whenever he's around.

the only time you see each other is when it was work. even at work you tried your best to avoid looking at his figure. and so did he.

---

sometimes you overthink, about him, about you. What is it that you really love about him? years you've spent loving him yet never once did he gave you the same loving feeling. Small, fragile, awkward, and disappointment. that was all he ever gave you - all that he made you feel.

loving Kamisato Ayato is torture, a torture so addictive you couldn't escape it. Falling harder every day even when all he gives you is his cold gaze and fake smile.

you could see how he laugh and smile around thoma and the traveler. You also heard one of his speech a few weeks after that day.

"if an opportunity comes to you, treat it like you would treat something dear"

it felt like a void was sucking you in and you couldn't help but chuckle. Of course, if you were an opportunity he wouldn't treat you like how he did all these time. If you were an opportunity he would smile and laugh with you like he did with Thoma and the traveler.

---

finally. it's the day of your departure, three months after that day. You could finally be free. Bidding your last goodbye to everyone, you stops when you were in front of him. "i guess this is it, thank you for everything Ayato" you look up at him, seeing how his violet orbs are dancing around, reflecting the sun.

this was the very first time you've ever called him by his actual name, not the usual 'Lord Kamisato'.

"yeah, thank you for everything too" he replied, eyes darting away from you to the ship you're boarding.

and right after that, you left.

---

a year had passed since you left inazuma. happy to say you've moved on from Ayato, your life is amazing, you love your job, you've met loads of friends, and.. you may have met a new person to put your interest on.

but you missed your homeland, so you decides to take a visit there.

arriving at inazuma you were greeted by Miko and Thoma. greeting them and everyone else you knew along the way before finally meeting him again.

Thoma gesture him to come when he sees you. Walking towards each other you finally lock eyes with Ayato. after many years not being able too.

Thoma and Miko seemed to understand something and stops their track to give you and Ayato some time alone.

"Ayato." his name came out so smoothly out of your mouth, yet you keep your tone firm.

"[name]" he spoke softly in return, violet eyes never leaving yours

you give him a small nod

"...you finally say my name" you said breathlessly.

a/n : reblogs are greatly appreciated! and please feel free to comment what you think about this fic ^^

#ayato x reader #ayato angst #kamisato ayato #genshin impact #genshin angst #kamisato ayato angst

[graneymar]

#1. NEYMAR: Bitter taste

SUMMARY: You and Neymar have been dating for only a few months when there were rumours about you being on vacation with your ex.

WARNINGS: angst

PAIRING: Neymar x female reader

Neymars POV:

Impossible. This can't be real. She would never do that. She loves me. I kept looking at the pictures and videos Y/N's ex posted on instagram a few days ago. She told me she'd be on vacation with her mother, but seemingly my fans knew better. They found recent pictures of her and her ex in Malta. I couldn't take my eyes off those pictures and stories. Pictures and videos of them at the beach together, clubbing, hugging, even kissing. Of course these images went viral instantly. Everyone was talking about how the "former playboy" Neymar Jr. got cheated on himself this time. Some people called it my karma, saying I deserved it. Others wished Y/N death in the comment section. But me? I felt nothing, pure emptiness. No emotions, no feelings. No sadness, no anger, nothing. Looking at her in these photos, I couldn't even recognize her as the woman I loved so much. She seemed so different. Her facial expressions, her gestures, her whole behavior. Who is she? Have I been really giving my all to someone I didn't actually know at the end of the day?

"Sinto muito irmão", Cris, one of my closest friends, texted me [I'm very sorry, bro]. Obviously he heard about the news already. I didn't even have the power or nerve to respond.

I was sitting outside on the terrace. It was about 8pm and Y/N was supposed to get here in about two hours. In those eight months we were together we have never been apart from each other for so long. We always managed to at least see each other at the weekends. Now she has been gone for three weeks and to be honest, I didn't even want her to come back. Thinking about how jealous she always used to be, how scared she was of losing me, and now it was her I saw in the arms of someone else.

I walked around the apartment, trying to find something to distract myself. The bottle of red wine I planned to drink with Y/N tonight caught my eye finally. Sinking into the couch I opened the bottle and couldn't stop myself from taking one sip after another. My family and friends called and texted me non-stop, reaching out to make sure I was alright, but I didn't want to talk to anyone. I switched my phone off and continued gazing at the TV that wasn't even on. All I saw was my reflection, sitting on the couch with a bottle of wine in my hands. Like a damn fool.

Soon enough, the second bottle was opened and I started feeling a little tipsy. No, I can't be here when she arrives. I can not stand looking or talking to her now. "Hey Kylian, what's up? Wanna go out tonight?", I called him after switching on my phone again, ignoring all the messages and missed calls. "Do you really think it’s a good idea to go out clubbing? Y/N will be there soon, you should probably talk it out", he replied.

"This is exactly what I don’t want and need. I've been sitting here overthinking it all for hours now. I need some distraction." It was clear to me that Kylian wasn't thrilled, but in the end, he agreed to get some drinks with me.

Y/Ns POV:

I could barely hold back a squeal of happiness the moment I opened the door to Neymars house. Three weeks without him felt like a year to me. I never thought I would miss someone so much.

Why are all the lights turned off? Weird. I expected him to wait for me, but didn't think of anything bad as I assumed he probably fell asleep on the couch, but no, he didn't. The only thing I saw were two empty bottles of red wine and a third one open. I laughed to myself "He really couldn’t wait and got drunk before I even arrived, hm?" Being sure that he already dozed off in the bedroom, I entered quietly, only to find the room empty. I slowly started worrying. Where the hell was he? What was going on? Is this another one of his stupid pranks? I tried to switch on my phone to see if he texted me anything, but the battery was dead. As I was looking for a charger, I noticed a little note at the side of my bed and picked it up.

I hope you had a great vacation with (your ex's name). Pack your stuff and be gone by tomorrow morning.

What the fuck? Where did this come from? My heart was racing, I started panicking. "Come on, come on, come on", I said as I tried to turn on my phone once more. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I finally was able to type in my code. I tried calling Neymar, but as expected, he didn't pick up. After the probably 7th call I decided to check if he posted something on his instagram story, revealing where he would be or what he was doing. He didn’t post anything, but Kylian did. He was out with Neymar, in some kind of club. Suddenly I got a text from my best friend. "Uhm, why is (your ex's name) posting pictures of you two together? Aren’t these old?" What did he do? I knew he never liked seeing Neymar and me together, but making up rumours?! For what? Did he really think I'd go back to him after he tried to destroy my relationship?

I searched (your ex's name) up on instagram and was in shock. He indeed posted pictures and videos of us together in Malta from a year ago. I scrolled through the comments. Some people were making of Neymar, saying he deserved to get played after everything he has allegedly done to women. But most of them wished me death, stating they expected me to cheat, I am so fake, I never loved Neymar but his money and fame only.

The tears started rolling down my cheeks as I sat down on the bed. How could he ever think I would actually cheat on him? Didn’t I show how much I loved him? Wasn’t I doing enough for him and our relationship? Glancing at the note he wrote once more, I shook my head. I wouldn’t just leave him like this. Not for some stupid cheating rumours.

Neymars POV:

I decided to spend the night at Kylians house, giving Y/N the opportunity to leave before I'd get home. Normally, going out with friends and drinking always distracted me for at least a few hours, but it didn’t help me at all last night. Quite the opposite even. My eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying. My throat was burning due to the amount of alcohol I drank.

Entering the house I could still smell her fragrance. I took a deep breath, knowing this was the last time I would be "that" close to her. Looking around I realised there really wasn’t any of her belongings, meaning she most probably read the note and left like I told her to. "Oh shit", I whispered to myself as I entered the living room, seeing the bottles of wine that left a disgusting smell. As a consequence of the heavy drinking from last night, I couldn’t stand to smell any form of alcohol, so I decided to spend some minutes on the terrace. To my surprise, the door stood open. I stepped out and saw Y/N sitting on the bench, drinking coffee. "What are you doing here?", I harshly asked, "I told you to leave by the morning."

"And you really think I would just leave you like that?" Her eyes were as red and puffy as mine. She looked like she hasn’t slept the whole night. My heart would actually break seeing her cry, especially knowing I was the reason, but this time I didn't even care. "Well, you really should since I fucking told you to." The tears in her eyes were forming again as she looked away from me. "Have you at least packed your bags?", I asked her. She shook her head from left to right. "Then I'm going to do it for you", I said going inside.

"Neymar", Y/N shouted following me. I opened the door to her closet and started taking her stuff out. "Can you at least hear me out? I just want to explain it all to you." I looked at her in disbelief and laughed sarcastically. "I don't need an explanation. Everything I need to know, I saw."

"But it isn’t true Neymar, I didn’t cheat on you." I let out an annoyed moan. "You want to tell me these pictures are photoshopped? You met him by accident and then decided to spend your vacation with him so you wouldn’t get bored with your mom? Honestly, just drop it. I don’t wanna hear shit from you." Watching her breaking down in tears made me swallow very hard, but I couldn’t give in, not after her cheating on me with her ex. "The pictures and videos he posted are old. It was on his birthday, last year."

"Mhm, and it’s just a coincidence you've been there on his birthday again right?"

"Actually, yes. You know he lives there. The year I've been with him I was there all the time. I even thought of moving there. Trust me, I don't give a damn about him anymore. I just fell in love with the island." We remained silent for a moment, while I continued to throw her belongings into a random suitcase I found. "I don't know how to prove it to you, Ney. I deleted all those pictures as soon as we got together. I can’t even show you they’re old." No response from me. "He always wanted to tear us apart because he knew you were the real reason I left him."

"Congratulations to him. He succeeded", I coldly replied. She took out her phone and started scrolling, "Here." From the corner of my eye, I saw her holding her phone up. "Y/N, I don't want to see anything. I don't even care anymore. We're done."

"But this is undeniable proof that he is lying", her voice got louder, which made me raise an eyebrow at her. "Undenibale proof you say, huh?" I took the phone out of her hand and saw her instagram story archive. The same pictures and videos he posted a few days ago. My heart stopped for a second when I saw the date. Over a year ago. Not even able to look at her, I handed her her phone back. I couldn’t say a word, I felt so stupid. "But if you wish for me to leave, I will", she broke the silence, ripping her stuff out of my hand, "I just wanted to let you know that I would never cheat on you and if you still decide to go separate ways, it’s okay. Just please know that I really do love you and could never do anything to hurt you." I watched her filling the suitcase with her clothes. "And for your future relationships, you should really consider talking to your girlfriend first before leaving her without even giving her a chance to explain herself", she somehow managed to say inbetween her sobs. "Y/N, baby…" I softly hugged her from behind and turned her around. She buried her face in my chest and started crying even harder. "I'm so sorry. I can’t believe I even thought you would do that to me. He just made everything seem so legit and real." We just stood there, no one saying a word until she calmed down a little. "I love you Neymar, I love you so much. How could you even believe it for a second?" she spoke up.

"I didn’t at first, but… what would you think? I knew you were actually there and all of a sudden these photos appear on his instagram. And it’s not even a year ago that you broke up with him. I was scared you could possibly go back." Y/N finally looked up, staring right into my eyes. "I love you, you idiot", she said before pecking my lips quickly. "I love you too." I wiped away her tears with my thumb. "How about we'll take a nap, order food later and watch some movies? I think none of us really slept this night." She yawned as she nodded. "Sounds good to me."

#Neymar #neymar imagine #neymar imagines #kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian mbappe imagines #football imagine #football imagines #neymar fanfic #neymar jr imagine #Neymar jr x reader #Neymar x reader #Neymar jr #Neymar da silva santos junior #imagine #imagines

[driaswrld]

v. i love you, please laugh.

part of : letters sealed and unsent event.

— from : fushiguro megumi.

i'm not good at saying what i feel.

today i watched you, like i always do (not in a creepy perv kind of way more like it's hard to not see you, because it's – well, it's you and i always see you) and you looked different.

i tried to rack my brain to figure out what it was. honestly? i feel kinda stupid for even bringing this up like this instead of just saying it to your face but itadori said girls appreciate extra effort and romantic gestures with big words and pretty envelopes — what am i saying?

you did your hair the same way. you walked to class the same way. you laughed with everyone like you usually do. you smiled like you always do - so deafeningly bright - does your jaw not hurt from doing that everyday?

but i don't know. something felt different about you.

i've never been too stiff to say that i love you. and i hope you know i do, because even if i don't say it as much as i should, i try to make it obvious with my actions.

you do know you can talk to me, right? like, not like you talk to the others. i mean, just us two. where you don't have to be so smiley, you don't even have to talk if you don't want to —

i love you. i love you. i love you.

please laugh at my expense. i want you to laugh more because of me.

i don't know how you're feeling, or if there's something happening inside of you that i can't reach - that i can't take away from hurting you or if this is all in my head and maybe those two idiots just fed into my overthinking...

but you know i'm here, right?

i'd never turn you away. and i'll always listen. even when you think it's stupid. i'm always listening even when you think i'm not.

how else do you think i even managed to embarrass myself by knowing so much about those little sanrio characters you talk so much about?

what i'm saying is, you can lean on me if there's something going on.

and don't even think about telling everyone i wrote this because i will let the earth swallow me up right now where i stand so help me god—

but even then, i guess a little embarrassment is nothing. so long as it makes you happy.

so laugh at my expense, and don't be sad anymore. stop pretending you're okay.

and just let me love you through it, okay?

— for safi 💌 (@wishmemel)

safi !! i hope u like this v much tysm ilyyy <33

+ a mini letter from safi :

dria, my love, good luck with this event — i know you'll do great ! i look forward to seeing you update the list as you hit your 500 follower count!

#lsu ✉️ #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader

[polyamorouscultureis]

Hi, I have a situation that I can’t really talk about with ppl. I need to talk to someone about it tho bc I’m so confused, I hope it’s ok I’m asking you? When I find ppl in similar situations online, all I see is them being shamed and told they don’t really love their partner. I thought maybe ppl who are poly have more understanding for how I’m feeling. That’s why I’m here. I’ve been with my partner for 12 years now and I’m so in love with them, I want to spend life with them. I also have a good friend that I like very much. I want her in my life. Recently I’ve been starting to think about her a lot more and even started to feel butterflies when I see her or when I think of her and I want to see her a lot more. I have no real desire to be with her like in a romantic or sexual relationship. I just want to spend time with her, hug/cuddle, laugh and talk. I want to be close to her emotionally, but not really sexually. I feel really confused about this crush and idk if I have to tell my partner? I don’t want to make them unnecessarily insecure or jealous. I know my partner and I think if I told them they’d want me to stop seeing this friend of mine. And this just makes me sad and idk if I’m being unfair here. Should I communicate my feelings even though I don’t even really know myself what these feelings mean? Maybe those feelings will pass and I’m just overthinking it?

I'll be honest with you, sometimes the lines are so blurry between friendship, romance, and sexual attraction that trying to find a label for it is more energy than it's worth. In my ideal world, everyone would do whatever they want to do with different people without feeling the need to put their desires into just one category.

I dont know if you have a crush on your friend, but it's clear that you care about both her and your partner very deeply. In my opinion, you should never feel the need to choose between a partner and a friend being in your life. But when the lines aren't clear I understand that it gets complicated.

I would talk to your partner about it, not necessarily trying to open the relationship or anything (unless you want to), but just getting clarity on what the two of you consider to be cheating (holding hands, cuddling, kissing cheeks, kissing lips, different kinds of sex, etc?) and make sure they are comfortable with the ways you interact with your friend. It doesn't necessarily mean dating them, but you can still be emotionally close. You mentioned, for example, wanting to cuddle with your friend but not be sexually involved. If your partner sees no issue with cuddling, then everyone gets what they want and no one feels guilty, jealous, or disappointed! If they're not, the two of you can spend some time drawing specific lines. And of course, reassurance that loving many people in many different ways doesn't mean loving anyone any less.

Queerplatonic relationships are also a thing you may have heard of that sounds sort of like what you and your friend are touching on. Might be worth looking into!

I hope this was somewhat helpful for you, and I hope all conversations you have go smoothly <3

#queerplatonic #polyam asks #advice #polyamory #polyam #polyamorous #lgbtq #poly #polycule

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

Writing Therapy

This is will be a guide for you to overcome anxieties, be more courageous, and optimistic. Writing is one of the beautiful ways to express our emotions and have a conversation with ourselves.

Write it down

Take a blank sheet of paper and write down how you feel now. This is not an essay, you should not be concerned about the words. Your thoughts should flow and all you need to do is write out out as it comes out. This can happen at any moment, don’t set a time or a schedule for it.

Weekly letters

Write a letter to yourself every week. I do this and it helps me a lot. Every week I reflect on the previous week and my expectations for the next week. I write my highlights and my low moments and it is such a beautiful emotion to capture. After a while, you will open these letters and reflect on how things changed or lessons you’ve learned.

Confront your inner child/ past

Use writing to confront your inner child. You will have to write like a kindergarten. Don’t overthink it, don’t make it perfect, add some drawings. Sometimes I draw a trash can and write everything habit I needs to get rid off in it. Try to recollect memories of things you were once bad at or good at. Writing isn’t just about following prompts sometimes you’d have to write about something related to you, that only you have experienced. For example:

I remember when I first got my braces, I looked awkward, it’s amazing how much my looks have changed…

I remember when I was 10 and this golden retriever chased me…

My mom didn’t let me go to sleep overs when I was 8, I wonder what it would have felt like…

I first experience bulling in 8th grade, Jessica was really a mean girl, I wonder if bullies eventually change…

I used to be the most popular girl in high school, but in college I feel so overlooked. It’s crazy how things change.

I don’t like how I look in pictures now, I don’t know if it’s just my eyes,

I used to like baking, why did I stop, when did I stop?…

I was mean to the pizza guy, I feel so bad, it was wrong timing, is it possible for the universe to send apologizes on our behalves?…

Be in the present

Being in the present means acknowledging your feelings, processing your emotions as they occur, expressing yourself, being your own cheer leader, and support system.

What was the highlight of my day?

What would I have changed?

What did I procrastinate on?

What am I looking forward to?

What am I grateful for?

Am I better than I was yesterday?

What did I learn today?

Why was I sad/happy?

An optimistic approach

Writing in an optimistic tone will keep you motivated. It will give you the hope you need. You are looking forward to an event, a proposal, an opportunity, or a moment. Optimism gives you enthusiasm to chase your dreams. Examples of writing with optimism includes.

I am looking forward to a great week because…

I can’t wait for Christmas, there’s just so much to celebrate…

I see myself being a successful women even though I’m not sure of my passion…

In the next five years, I want to travel to every state in America.

It only gets better…

Oh, I can’t wait for fall and all the peace it brings…

I’ll be 24 soon, there’s so much to reflect on…

Confronting the elephant in the room

This will be the difficult part of the writing because you will have to be honest with yourself, it’s tough love here, and you’ll have to hold yourself accountable. Here are prompts that can help:

Are you sure you want to accomplish your goals?

Why do you want a change in your life, if you are not willing to improve?

When was the last time to made a to-do list and followed through?

Have you read a book since the last month?

What is your excuse for not doing your self-care routine?

Do you trust yourself?

What have you started but you’re yet to complete?

I’d love to start a writing therapy class, it will be so interesting :)

With love,

Black Pearl

#self improvement #self love #ivy league #discipline #preppy #mindfulness #oldmoney #growth #education #self development #mind control #self care #mindset #emotional intelligence #self help #reading #long reads #therapy #writblr #writing #positive affirmations

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 6)

I had no idea what to do with this chapter, but it’s going to mostly lead up to something that’s going to happen later on! So mostly a filler chapter just because why not?

Word Count: 5.1k

CW: Slight mentions of suicide, slight trigger warnings, serious overthinking

6-Nathan

A week has passed since that night. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how I just hugged him. How embarrassed I’ve felt since then. How awkward I feel when I’m near Ryker. Even though he wasn’t at all bothered by it. It hasn’t left my mind. I just feel so embarrassed by it. I mean, we barely knew each other and I just went up and gave him a makeshift hug? Not something people do on an ordinary basis. But still, I haven’t forgotten the way he gently pressed one of his fingers against my back to return the gesture. Somehow I was terrified, but also… grateful? Happy? Whatever the word for it was, it just felt nice. 

I spent that entire week trying to talk to him again, but I guess the adrenaline rush was the only reason I could get those few words out to him. Of course, because I can never get anything to work out in my favor. Typical Nathan. 

Well, during that week, my mom had taken off from work to be with me, since she’s apparently realized that I’ve “been in and out of it,” This entire week. Which I have, I just didn’t think she’d really notice. But of course she does, because she’s a parent and a nurse. How could she not notice? 

She asked me everyday for the past five days after school how everything was going. I would always reply with a smile and say, “It’s good.” Even though in some cases I was lying. Sometimes at school I would stare off into space, not paying attention to anything anyone ever said. Or sometimes when Ryker was talking I would just cave in on myself and ask: Why am I even here? What was wrong with me? Heck, even Ryker has noticed and tried confronting me about it. He told me I didn’t have to answer, and I didn’t. Afraid that I would ruin whatever friendship we’ve made. Or if he even considers us friends. Though, I doubt that was a possibility. 

I had no idea what was wrong with me. Ever since that… hug, I’ve been nothing but a mess. Was it the unbelievable act I thought I could never do again? The way I felt about it afterward? Was it the fact that I wanted to talk so bad, but I couldn’t? Mom can’t know about any of this. She’s already heartbroken enough, and I’d hate myself even more if I dropped this bombshell on her. This is why I needed my dad. Even when I was younger I was always timid and shy and I overthought plenty of things. He’d help me by saying that I should put all of those bad thoughts into a jar and throw it far, far away. But that was when I was a kid. What about now? 

Mom was really worried about me. I could tell. But I was fine. I think. Probably not. Either way, she called the school counselor in hopes that whatever was going on with me would go away. I knew she hated seeing me so sad. I remember when we were still… trapped she used to try to keep my happy by playing little games, or telling me made up stories. As I grew older she tried her best to keep me from crying, trying her hardest to keep me happy. Even after dad died. 

So, this was the week I had started to take counseling after school every Monday and Thursday for forty minutes a day. On top of that, she also contacted Mrs. Kay for whatever reason, and she’s told me that she wants to work with me for at least twenty minutes everyday after class. Great, right? So much for a normal life. I thought I could give it another chance and all of a sudden people are just trying to overwhelm me when I wanted to solve this mystery on my own. 

It was a grueling morning. It was raining, hard. Thunder had sounded above the entire city, making me jump. Stupid right? A seventeen year old scared of thunder? I have a good reason. I think. Didn’t matter. 

I groaned, forcing myself out of bed. This was going to be a long day. I already knew it. It was raining, mom was passed out on the couch, and my body felt like it was going to give up on me at any moment. And luckily that stupid little project thing was over so I could finally take my regular classes. I just hoped Mrs. Kay wouldn’t assign anything crazy again. She probably would though.

I didn’t bother eating breakfast. Just grabbing my backpack on the way out and making my way to the bus before I was late. Nothing to it. The same routine as the past month. 

The school looked as gloomy as ever. Of course it did. It was Monday. The halls were filled with people talking by their class, or running down the hall like there was no tomorrow. Isn’t it too early in the morning to be doing all of that? I was barely waking up. Either way, I went by unnoticed by the crowd of people and made it to class. 

I admit it felt weird not having a looming presence above me at all times. Was that a good thing? I have no idea, but it makes me kind of miss the one-sided conversations Ryker likes to start up. I miss it a lot. Even though I never talked, I loved listening. I was so weird. Before all of this mess, I wanted nothing to do with him, and here I am wishing for his company. Why couldn’t I just be normal? 

The classes were the same as always. Nothing new to it. Then it was lunch. The time period in school where anything can happen. Especially with that encounter a couple weeks back… I shuddered at the thought, reaching the cafeteria. So many people. Too many people. I forgot how crowded it was being on this side. 

Searching for the table I sat at before I had met anyone, I found that it was taken by a group of girls. Nope. Not getting that back. Especially since I know that no one would willingly sit in the far corner. I sighed, searching for a table that was open, and not finding any. Could I just sit with Ryker again? I asked myself. It would be nice, but I don’t think he wants to see me. At least not until last period. I wouldn’t want to be bothered by me either if I were him. 

“Boo.” I jumped, catching my breath while Lucky was laughing so hard he starting coughing. I was not expecting that at all. I thought he would just forget about me. Especially since the “project” was over. I just thought I was another name to be remembered once they all graduate. 

“Sorry, sorry, but you’re so easy to scare,” He chuckles, “Wanna come sit with us?” 

It takes my mind a while to process what just happened, “Wh-who’s ‘us?’” 

“Just Ryker and me. Dylan had a basketball game so I’m all alone.” Lucky shrugged casually. Did I want to sit with them? Yes. Of course I do. I was just afraid I might zone out like I have been for the past week. What if I get scared again? What would happen then? They would all drop me and I’d be all alone again… 

I was about to shake my head before Lucky grabbed my wrist and guided us through the cafeteria to where Ryker always sits. Away from everyone else… I gulped, seeing him stare bored at whatever was playing on his phone. This was a bad idea. Who told me I could even do this? No one. Lucky just dragged me here. And there was a tiny feeling of gratefulness that he did. 

Lucky guided me into the elevator with him. It was silent on the way up, and I couldn’t help but notice the way Lucky looked at me like he was worried. Was it because I kept fidgeting with my hands? Was it because I couldn't look straight ahead? Or was it because he’s noticed something was wrong with me just like everyone else has? Probably the last one. 

“Why do… you look nervous?” Lucky had asked before the elevator made that same ding sound it always does. I didn’t take a step forward, and neither did Lucky. Nervous? I have no idea. 

“I-um… I don’t know.” I let out a sad chuckle, trying my best to give a genuine smile. Lucky gave a skeptical look, “If I promise not to tell will you tell me?” 

Do I trust that? I do. I really, really do. I had no reason not to trust Lucky. Even if I didn’t know what I was so nervous about. I don’t get why everyone was so concerned either! I was a nobody. Just another person trying his hardest to live an impossible normal life. Maybe I should have stayed at the hospital… 

“I really don’t know though.” I muttered, looking down at the ground. Lucky gave another skeptical look before guiding me out of the elevator. I still almost ended up tripping over my own two feet per usual. What was going on with me lately? 

“Hey Ry.” Lucky greeted, smiling and heading over to watch whatever Ryker was watching on his phone like it was nothing. What was I supposed to do now? I can’t… What? My thoughts were a jumbled up mess. I don’t even know what I was thinking at this point. Does Ryker even want me here? No, no he doesn’t. He’s tired of me. I already know it. Everyone gets tired of me eventually. I’m either “Impossible to deal with,” or, “Not worth the time.” A messed up system, right? 

“Hey,” He sighed, his eyes wandering towards me and flashing a soft smile, “Hi, Nathan.” 

I didn’t know what to do. Was he acting? It didn’t really seem like it. He also didn’t seem like the kind of person to act in a situation like this. Still, there was no telling. Maybe he just didn’t want to break the news to me like this? Yeah. Most likely. 

I raised a shaky hand, giving a wave and a nervous smile in hopes that Ryker wouldn’t catch on. He didn’t, but that didn’t stop him from giving a confused expression as if he was trying to put together a puzzle. Hah. As if you could solve my puzzle. I’ve lost so many pieces it’s practically impossible. I’ve tried to solve it myself many times and failed miserably. 

Ryker dragged his attention back to the movie on his phone, looking bored. What was I supposed to do now? We used to watch that hilarious cop show, but I think he only put it on to keep me from being bored and bothering him at this point. Was it all an act? Did he just play along with whatever happened? He didn’t hug me back because he wanted to? He forced himself to do all of those things just so he wouldn’t be bothered? Was I tricked again? 

I’m overthinking.

One step at a time. I said I wanted to give life one more chance, so that’s what I’m going to do. Even if this was all some kind of sick act. Even if I get hurt. I sucked in a deep breath, and sat next to Lucky, watching the events on the theater-sized screen in front of me. Usually I sat further back, but I was afraid of being alone at the moment. 

Even though I was scared out of my mind, there was also some other kind of feeling lingering in the back of my mind. I felt comfortable. Surprisingly after everything that’s been going on inside my head. I was too used to being around Ryker. That doesn’t mean I was comfortable being around any giant though. I had nearly an entire month of forced contact with him. Of course I’d be more lenient towards him. Especially after he’s made no move in those past four months to imprison me and keep me as some kind of pet or entertainment. 

“Bell’s gonna ring.” Ryker grabbed his phone from in front of us, stuffing it back into his pocket and holding his hand palm-up. Why though? We can just take the elevat-

Lucky quickly pulled his backpack on and climbed on, waiting for me to follow. I guess I didn’t have any other choice. Lucky helped me on, and we both managed to fall over on top of each other somehow. Lucky laughed while I hurried to get up, muttering quiet apologies to him. 

“It’s nothing. It happens with Angela all the time.” Lucky smiled. Ryker cupped his hand a bit and started walking towards the doors to get out of the cafeteria. Just in time too, because the bell rang and everyone was now rushing to get to class all of a sudden. I stopped looking back, afraid that the panic attack I’ve been fighting back for the past month would suddenly resurface. Nope. Everything will be okay. I think. Hopefully. 

Ryker crouched down at the part of the hallway that leads back to the human side of the school, letting us down. He barely even talked to me. In fact, the only time he was even talking to either Lucky and I was when we arrived at the table. Was he okay? I couldn’t tell anymore. I just hope that I’m not the cause. 

———Ryker———

Today was not a good day. For more than one reason. One reason being that I had work afterschool today. Another being that I woke up late today due to staying up until about two in the morning because I needed to finish cleaning. And my third reason was the fact that I’m ninety nine percent sure I messed everything up with Nathan. 

In the last week of that “project” I noted that Nathan didn’t really seem to be… himself? Of course I barely knew him and he could have something going on at home, but something just felt off. Maybe it was just that one tiny moment that Friday? Did I do something wrong? Was I not supposed to hug him back? Did I do or say something wrong to upset him? It didn’t really make sense in my head. I thought everything was going good. So why all of a sudden did he seem timid and nervous around me? 

It was that entire week. I asked him if he was okay and if he wanted to talk about it. Nathan just shook his head and gave the best makeshift smile he could manage. I knew something was wrong and that it had something to do with me. And today proved it. It seemed like we were back at step one. 

Was Nathan okay? I remember asking one time and receiving a shake of his head, but I never once thought if he did it just to answer or if he really meant it. I guess I have my answer now. I don’t know why I was so worried honestly. Maybe because in my brain I pretty much consider Nathan and I friends? I have zero idea if he thinks the same, but I hoped so. 

I forced myself through these next grueling classes, waiting for last period. I hadn’t talked to Nathan at lunch because it really didn’t seem like he was up for it at the time. I don’t want to overstep his boundaries either. What if he just wants to be left alone? I have no idea what was going on in his mind as I’ve said before, so that could be a possibility? 

Mrs. Kay had nothing being projected on the board today, which meant it was either a free day or it was some kind of lecture on relationships between human and giants. Something that this world apparently is so focused on. I guess that’s a good thing though. 

After a couple minutes of waiting, I heard the faint ding noise that comes from the elevator and watched as Nathan stumbled out, figuring out a way to trip once again. I’ve wondered for a while why he had always found a way to trip over thin air, but I could never figure it out. Maybe he was just clumsy? It would make sense, but that can’t be the only reason, right? Still, every time he fell my hand twitched to try and help, but I already knew that would tumble everything downhill. Especially now. 

Mrs. Kay had announced that today was a free day since she still had to put in some grades. Would it be overstepping if I asked if Nathan was okay again? Maybe to him, but I was already feeling guilty for being the cause of why he seems so upset. 

“Are you finally glad that you don’t have to be carried around by me anymore?” I nervously laughed, hoping for him to answer. Just build up. That was the way to do this. 

Nathan turned around, thinking about the question before rotating his hand sideways. Kind of? Honestly, that was expected because even Lucky gets tired of being carried around everywhere. Speaking of… Lucky told me something about Nathan making brownies? I’m pretty sure that was on Friday, I just don’t know when he did. But Lucky and Angela absolutely loved them. And Angela had showed me a new stuffed animal that Nathan had bought for her too. In return, she drew a picture of Nathan with some of her crayons and my heart practically melted. 

“Oh, um, Angela has a gift for you. Y’know… for the stuffed animal you bought her?” I smiled. I think it was sweet. I don’t know why he thought he needed gifts though, everyone already thought he was nice already. I guess he just wanted to make sure that no one thought bad of him? 

Nathan’s eyes widened and pointed to himself with an unsure look. Was he confused why? I don’t even know why either. I shrugged my shoulders. Nathan brought his knees up to his chest and stared at the ground, deep in thought. Did I do something wrong again? I guess now would be the time to bring up the topic. 

“I know you’re probably not going to answer me, and that’s okay! But, do you wanna talk about something? You just don’t… look okay.” I bit the side of my cheek in hopes that he’ll give me some kind of a response. He probably thinks I’m annoying at this point. Even I think I am at this point. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have even asked. 

Nathan shook his head, putting on a makeshift smile. He was lying. But, if he doesn’t want to talk to me then I won’t force him to. There was nothing I could do. Although, I’m sure a teacher or even his parents would have noticed this. If they haven’t already, then it would be soon. Most likely they’ll just get a therapist or he’ll eventually tell someone about whatever was going through his mind. 

The rest of the time was spent asking him how his weekend was. How it felt to be back on his schedule. You know, questions to keep his mind off of things. I think it was working. At least for a little before the last bell of the day rang. I gave a two fingered wave to Nathan, receiving a shaky one back and left the room. I still felt bad. 

———Nathan———

Remember when I said today was going to be a bad day? I wasn’t kidding. The one-sided conversation with Ryker helped get rid of the uneasiness of going to the counselors office. But as soon as the final bell rang it all came flooding back. Last period wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Not bad at all. Not until that loud bell rang, and the entire classroom rushed to get out. 

On my way down the hallway to the counselor’s office, I couldn’t stop thinking about what could possibly go wrong. They might give up on me too. They might tell me to just go home. Or they might send me back to the mental hospital. I mean, it’s not that bad of a place when you don’t have any friends waiting for you, but there were some things that I hated. No contact with the outside world, they make you take these dumb classes to help “calm the mind.” Like yoga or where you would pass a foam ball around and tell everyone your name and what you were there for. I never, ever took part in that exercise. 

Sucking in a deep breath, I knocked quietly on the door that read, “Counsellor Office. Mr. Smith” I didn’t exactly know how these kinds of things worked. All I knew is that no one liked them. 

“You must be Nathan! Please take a seat. Anywhere is fine.” Mr Smith was a tall man. He look about in his late thirties early forties, but he looked so friendly and calm. His voice was trusting and soft as well. I can’t wait till he starts talking behind my back about how impossible I was. 

His office was like any other office I’ve been in. Other than the two different colored bean bags that sat in the corner by a small book case that had a tiny tv above it with movies on the side. This room was nothing like any therapist room I’ve been in. Usually they’re cold and only have a singular couch with magazines about eating healthy and being mentally healthy. Not that those ever helped me. 

I decided to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk, fidgeting with my hands the entire time. Mr. Smith walked over to his own chair, taking out a notebook and gave another soft smile. 

“Nervous? Most students are when they walk in here,” He chuckled, grabbing a pen, “Do you mind telling me your name and how old you are?” I thought he knew that already. 

I opened my mouth to speak, “N-Nathan… I’m seventeen.” Curse the stuttering. Today was already hard enough, why does everything go downhill after I feel good about something? 

“Nice to meet you, Nathan. I’m Garrett Smith, thirty-seven years old, and I have a PhD in psychology.” PhD? Then why is he working as a school counsellor? He could be an actual therapist and won’t have to deal with so many kids. This guy was confusing, but I feel somewhat comfortable around him. Even though we met barely three minutes ago. 

“Now, your mom was worried about you. She says that you seem to be having more nightmares lately. That you seem more tired and sad lately. Would you wan to start there or talk about something else bothering you?” He asked, waiting patiently for my answer. My heart was racing. What was I supposed to answer? I didn’t even know at this point. I haven’t taken therapy for a couple months now, and usually they started with talking about the excruciating events that had happened while we were kidnapped. Instead, Mr. Smith just wants to start with this? Why was that? 

“S-sure.” I nearly squeaked. I never did good at any sort of therapy. I was always too nervous. And then they’d pressure me to answer when I couldn’t. I was afraid that he might do the same. 

“Alrighty then,” He tapped his pen on the notebook, “Would you mind telling me when you started feeling this way?” 

“Last weekend? I th-think.” I started silently tapping my foot on the carpeted ground. Just another thing I do when I was nervous. Mr. Smith didn’t seem to mind or notice. 

“Hm. Did anything… happen around that time?” He wrote something down and I had no idea what it was. Was it bad? Was it good? Did I somehow say too much to get me placed back into the hospital? Please say no. I don’t want to go back there with a bunch of screaming kids throwing the plastic chairs while I was just trying to make some cookies. 

“U-um, just this project thing for Mrs. Kay.” 

“The project where you spent two weeks with a giant in school?” He asked, his face full of curiosity. I nodded my head, playing with my hands again. I’m pretty sure he wrote that down. 

“May I ask who your partner was then?” Oh. Not a question I was too prepared for. I slightly turned to the door, the window peaking inside covered by a piece of cloth. Did it really matter who my partner was? I don’t think it did honestly. 

“Ryker…” His eyebrows shot up in shock as he chuckled lightly, “Ryker Stone?” I nodded. I’m pretty sure that was his last name. How did he know who he was though? There was no way he could know all eight hundred people in this school. That seem a bit over-the-top. 

“From my understanding, you went to his house last Friday and something happened over there?” I nodded. I shouldn’t have hugged him. I shouldn’t have hugged him. I shouldn’t have-

“Was it bad thing?” His eyebrows were scrunched up like he already knew what my answer was going to be. Nothing bad happened. It’s just that my thoughts like taking over me sometimes. A lot of times. I make a good situation and turn it into a bad one. I shook my head at his question. 

Mr. Smith laughed, “That’s Ryker for you. Not a dull moment with him.” He said it like he knew him personally… maybe he did? I mean he is the counsellor. I just didn’t think he worked with giants as well. So if he knew Ryker… does that mean Ryker knew him? Of course that’s what that meant.  

“Back on topic though, I did some looking around on you. I found some… interesting things, but also a record from past therapists. All different notes on you, except for one. That you’re known to overthink situations. Do you think that’s why you’ve been so upset lately? You have a thought on your head from the event that happened?” He wasn’t going to ask what happened? I mean, thank goodness because I don’t think I could answer, but he really wasn’t going to ask me? This guy has a weird way of getting people to open up, but it’s working. It’s working amazingly. 

I nodded my head. Ryker doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I couldn’t stop thinking about this. I knew it was true. I messed everything up that Friday night ruined things between us. The worst part is that I was actually warming up to him. He really did feel like friend even though I was deadly afraid. 

“Do you mind telling me what’s been on your mind? It’s alright if you can’t.” He asked softly, already knowing that this might be hard for me. It is. It really, really is. I didn’t want to lose the only friend I’ll ever make in my entire life. Even before I was kidnapped, all of the other kids didn’t bother talking to the shy, timid kid who sat alone by himself at lunch and never had a friend to play with on the playground during school. 

Now I was in high school where people still look at me the same way. I didn’t want to lose someone who was so nice to me. Who actually takes the time to talk and hang out with me. Is that what’s wrong with me? I didn’t want to see someone I care about leave me? 

That stupid cage had ruined me. 

“I-I don’t think Ryker w-w-wants to be around me,” Tears stung my eyes, and I tried my best to blink them away while sucking in a deep breath, “I-I like to think we’re f-friends… but I d-did something stupid and now that this project is over I think he’s just done with me.” A couple tears fell down my face. I wiped them with the back of my sleeve, looking down at the ground. I really didn’t want to lose the one potential friend I’ve made in my entire life. 

The room was quiet except when I heard Mr. Smith pass the box of tissues my way, showing a sympathetic face, “You don’t want to lose a friend?” I shook my head, calming myself down before I make this even more embarrassing for myself. I haven’t cried for a while. It felt good for some reason. Too bad I wasn’t going to let it go any further than a couple tears. 

“And what if Ryker still wants to be friends? What would you think then?” 

That he’ll eventually grow tired of me like everyone else. That it’s only short lived. He’ll eventually forget about me. 

“I’d be grateful… but I doubt he’d remember me after graduation.” I sadly answered. Mr. Smith wrote something down, ripping out the page he was writing on and handing me the paper. I grabbed it with shaky hands, looking over the paper. My name, age, things I’ve done while sitting in his office, and some squiggly lines. He didn’t write down questions? No notes on what he should do next? 

“I don’t like writing down the questions I ask. I think people would prefer to keep them said and not on paper,” He chuckled, “And as for your tiny piece of advice, you and Ryker aren’t so different, and I doubt he thinks ill of you.” That was it? No other questions? He wasn’t going to pry me open? He wasn’t going to force me to spill my guts to people who didn’t want waste their time anyways? No words could describe how confused and happy I was at the same time. 

“Th-that’s it?” I muttered, trying to figure out if he was playing a trick on me or not, but he nodded his head and opened the door for me. I grabbed my backpack, stuffing the sheet of notebook paper in it and walked out of the door. 

“Thank you.” I mumbled. 

Mr. Smith smiled, “Come anytime you want to talk. Just remember after school on Thursday, okay?” I nodded, thinking hard about how Mr. Smith believes, in all honesty, that Ryker won’t just leave me. He could be right. I just have to trust in his word. 

—————————————————————-

Yup. Nathan’s afraid that Ryker will leave him now that their little project is over. I wonder what happens next?

I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. I like and I don’t at the same time. We’ll see. Thank you for reading! Love you guys ❤️

#G/t #g/t writing #g/t community #sfw g/t #giant/tiny #G/t angst #restoration #Oc: Nathan #oc: ryker #Nathan just wants a friend🥺 #Yeah i didn’t know what to do #Next chapter will def have something tho #I kind of liked how this one came out??? #nvm I don’t #Thanks for the support!

[ellieshairtye]

What have you done! || Ellie/ dina x reader

Pairings: dina x reader and Ellie x reader

Warning- self harm, swearing, blame, cheating on both sides. angst angst angst.

Word count- 1.9k

A/n: this is my first sh fanfic but please DO NOT continue reading if this will trigger or reflect you in a bad way, also please take care of yourself. If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m always here.

———

———

I would say this have been going my way because they haven’t been, I feel like I’m fucking suffocating in this now pointless relationship, I watch as my girlfriend if 3 years gives longing looks towards her ex, I wake up ever time she gets up out of bed and tried to leave our home quietly in the middle of the night, I see their hands graze each other ever time they walk past one another. Worst of all, they think I’m oblivious.

And this leads me crying in the arms of my best friend hoping in someway I’m acting stupid and I’m overthinking it, but I’m always met with sad eyes and tight hugs, the little ‘you’re going to be okay’ whisper’s don’t go un-noticed either.

Dina is truly a blessing, from all the sleepless night and bags I’ve packed to sleep over in her cute little home, I’ve basically moved in, the only things I have left at Ellie’s are, my ds, headphones, and my walkman. I don’t think about it thought finding a peaceful slumber in my best friends arms always feels like home.

Walking up the next morning, was a dream but I would slowly turning into a nightmare, before I could even get a word out i feel someone push strands of hair out of my face. My eyes flutter open to be met with the face of an angle, “morning babe,” dina smiles at me. I smile back a small blush spreading on my cheeks.

“Good morning,” I say back before getting out of her bed before going over to my shoes. I hear her feet hit the ground before arms wrap around my waist. “Only if every morning could be like this.” She said in a happy tune resting her head on top of mine. After tying my laces I turn to her pulling the slightly taller girl into a hug.

“I have to get back I’m missing my ds, and music.” I told her with a laugh, only to hear her sigh. “I’ll come with you?” She asks looking slightly down at me making me feel things I should be feeling, “it’s okay I’ll see you tonight remember, the town party.” I watch her face light up with happiness seeing that I am actually going.

She picks me up and twirls me around making me break out in a fit of giggles. “I can’t wait to see you in that dress you just got, I still can’t believe you won’t let me see it.” She started to rant. Making me laugh at her. “I promise it will be worth waiting for you only have to wait-“ I stop looking over to the little clock she has on her night stand. “7 hours, damn I can’t believe we slept that long it’s been ages.”

She smiles before cupping my face, she presses a sweet kiss onto my cheek before telling me to go get my games with a laugh, i didn’t think I could be happier but I knew I shouldn’t feel this way so I kept it to myself even if me and Ellie have gotten distant I will always be loyal to her until we end thing. Well that’s what I though at least.

Walking up the two stairs of our shared home I quietly open the door before making my way inside, I look over to the bed to see Ellie but also what looks like another figure, holding back tears I walk over to see discarded clothes and cat in my fucking bed, looking over their neck it seems they had a good fucking time.

I Quickly get my shit before booking out out of their waking them up by the slam of the front door. I ran all the way back to my mom and dads house without a second thought, knocking on the door I watch as my Tommy opens it, I look up at him with tears in my eyes trying to tell him everything through my eyes, he seemed to get the point pulling me into his embrace.

I’m not sure how long we stood there but my sobbing died down a little, I feel him pull away a little, “let’s get you in side baby girl.” He said helping me inside while keeping me in his embrace. We make it to the couch taking a seat, he grabs the throw blanked on the edge of the couch behind him before wrapping it around me. “What happened, baby?”

I truly think about his question as look at him In the eyes. “I spent the night at Dina’s, I was happy for the first time in a long time, I thought Ellie just needed space, but when I got back home- I saw clothes around the bed and Ellie sleeping with cat. daddy I saw the marks on their necks and everything.” I sob out trying to maintain eye contact.

Tommy looked at me in disbelief before it soon turned into anger, he knew that he couldn’t get angry in front on his distressed daughter so he just hugged her. “Your going to be okay, you hear me baby girl. Your going to be just fine.” I wanted to believe his words but I just couldn’t.

I pull away while looking up at my dad with a slight smile, “ I need rest its been a crazy day.” I said forcefully letting out a chuckle, he just nods helping me to my room. I put my hand on the doorknob before twisting it and pushing it open, I look around to see everything the same but it’s clean so it isn’t dusty.

“I’ll be at the party tonight radio me if anything happens I’ll be here in under 30 seconds.” He said patting me on the back before walking away, making me call out to him. “I’ll hold you to that.” A slight smile made it way on my face as I walk over to my bed, pushing the covers away I slip in.

I put my head phones on my head and press play on my Walkman, for hours the only thing Tommy and Maria could hear were the light sobs coming from their daughters room. They knocked on the door telling her they are going to the party only to get no reply. Sighing in defeat they make their way to the front door before leaving.

———

Third person pov

———

Ellie had been looking for y/n before going to the party knocking on all her friends door asking if they have seems her she always got the same reply, so the girl went to the party in hopes to find the h/c haired girl, does she regret what she did? yes. Will she try her hardest to mend her relationship with y/n? yes.

Ellie was standing outside of the doors, where the famous town party’s be held, she was soon cut out of her though from and hand sneaking into hers. With a spark she looked over hoping to see y/n but only to be met with cat. Shaking out hand out of cats hold she makes her way through the doors.

Cat tried to stay with Ellie but Ellie said no and walked away, unknowingly making herself more visible to see to Tommy, she had only been there for a few minutes before tommy notices her while getting himself another drink, it’s like everything in his mind was forgotten the only words were hos little girls repeating in his head.

Before Maria OR Joel could stop him he marched his way over to her, and before Ellie could comprehend what was happening she was dragged away from the bar, looking up she came face to face with Tommy. “Do you have any fucking idea what you have done, I let you into my home, I let you date my little girl, I have to a place to stay in my fucking town and you repay me and MY family by cheating on my daughter with an ex that cheated on you.”

The older man ranted loudly alerting the ears of Maria, Joel and dina plus all the people around them. The three took notice of the situation and ran over, “Tommy, hun let not do this here.” Maria tried to reason with her husband. “Why Maria? Our baby girl is at home crying her heart out and you don’t want me to put same on the girl that did this to her.” Joel was starting to understand the situation by the guilty look on Ellie’s face and the fact his niece is not here.

“Is it true.” Joel finally asked Ellie, making her look at him “yes.” She whispered. Dina on the other hand was livid walking straight up to Ellie pushing Tommy away before punching the girl in the face. “You will never fucking understand how many times I’ve tried to reassure y/n that you were not a cheater and not a complete cunt, because I loved her and wanted her to be happy, that girl you have fucking ruined is the love of MY life, I would kill anyone for her I would take a fucking bullet for her, do you understand how much it hurt at first seeing her with you and now having her cry on my door step every night huh, oh and watch her get that cute little sparkle in her eye when you do the littlest of things like hold her hand or kiss her cheek, i wish everyday she was my girl but instead she was with a woman you can’t even get her priorities right, so do y/n a favour you either man the fuck up and fix what you have broken or I fucking will and I promise you I won’t let her see you again.

Ellie and dina had left the party to find y/n who isn’t doing to well.

———

Y/n

———

I couldn’t do it anymore the songs weren’t helping my thought were growing loud I didn’t want to listen to them but they gave me no choice, I guess that how I ended up in my bathroom with blood running down my wrists, the difference from when i did it the first time was that this time the blood didn’t stop it just kept going, I started to see spots and yells? I payed no mind to them I just turned the music up and hummed to the the lyrics.

I could hear shouts outside of my bathroom door I just couldn’t be bother to open it or talk back, so I sat there letting the lace fade out of me while I continue humming, i hear the banging stop before to bodied tumble in, i look up to see Ellie and dina but the only only one I looked at was my best friend.

“Y/n- that’s a lot of blood, Ellie go get someone now!” Dina tells the tall girl who is stood there in shock. Dina pulls me into her chest as she rocks me back and forward. I look up at dina to see her already looking down at me, her eyes have so many word so many things she wanted to tell me but somehow I understand I press my lips against hers softly before pulling away feeling myself get tired. I knew my time was almost up so I told her the one thing I could think about.

“I wish I chose you,”

#the last of us #tlou2 #dina tlou #ellie tlou #ellie williams #the last of us part 2 #ellie x reader #ellie williams x fem!reader #tlou ellie #tlou dina #dina x reader #dina x Fem!reader

[watermeloncholycucumbersome]

Day 108 of Writing Something Everyday

(365 Day Challenge)

I feel like I'm doing way too much today yet there's still a part of me thinking I'm the laziest pos on the face of the planet.

I hope I can get out of this funk..

Church lady is denying another girl access to me so she can get items I offered to her to send away to her family in the Philippines.

Apparently that's unacceptable and I can't help or talk to ANYONE unless it's through her. Gross, disturbed behaviour for a 70 something year old woman.

Shame on her..

I just added a bunch of stuff on facebook marketplace to sell today, I'm sick of waiting for help.

I'm never going to get it at this rate. I'm dragging these big pieces of furniture around by myself, trying to sell everything I own. I'm made feel like mine and my mom's personal items are worthless because I can't barely get anyone to come get anything or inquire even. Some of her stuff was lots of money and me asking 10 for a 20 dollar item and so on should be great, but it's not.

It's so hard to clean all this up by myself and store things for people who may or may not come when they say they will or ever.

But you have no choice, you need the money. So you live on a whim of hopefully they respond or show up.

I'm in this get rid of everything mentality and I think it's a good thing. I feel like shits going to hit the fan at some point here and I might be forced to leave my apartment. Last thing I want is a bunch of bags/boxes of garbage to drag around with me, you know?

Less is better in the long run. Only keep what's important, the rest is unimportant.

If I don't hurry up I overthink too much and it gets overwhelming, so throwing stuff out on these days is great because you finally get it done. It just sucks that I finally get the energy to get up and accomplish something. Especially going through my mom's dresser as I just about lost my mind the last few times I went near it. I finally did it and this woman won't drive this young girl a few minutes to pick up a small bag from me because I told her I didn't want her signing me up for programmes at church that I wasn't even aware of I was being signed up for?

How is that fair?

What did the young girl do?

How is this a Christian woman??

Making a young girl suffer because she wants to punish me?

Wretched horrible woman..

Sad part is this will hurt me more because these are people who have been kind to me and she's hurting them now to get back at me because she's a baby and has unresolved issues that she needs to stop putting on others.

Grow up and take responsibility..

Why does a 31 year old woman have to teach her elders common sense and decency?

I guess these bags just sit here tonight then, but I guess I cleared out mine and my mom's dressers today so that's good - still sucks though.

What is wrong with this world, ugh...

I have to clean this apartment up and get this room set up so I can advertise I need a roommate. I have nobody helping with this, everyone talks a big talk until something really has to be done and you see their true colours. I've asked everyone church wise and even at my apartment building - guys want sexual favours and the women are either older or crippled. I literally contacted a random dude on Facebook for help and

Every

Single

One

Of

Them

Agree

Then

Make

An

Excuse

Last

Minute

Nobody follows through so I guess it's just me literally on my own now, so much for if you need me call me. Nobody responds to me any way.

Kinda scary thinking about a stranger living in your house with you to be honest, but I have no choice.

All of this will be done because I figure it out and do it though, I don't have any hope help is coming in the form of people any longer.

~Jenni

#thoughts #feelings #spilled thoughts #vent post #spilled heart #mental health #bpd #borderline personality disorder #anxiety #depression #sadness #overwhelmed #spilled words #upset #confused #hurt #written word #original writing #journal #writing #writers on tumblr #creative writing #writeblr #writers and poets #spilled writing

[vminizzle]

This morning, I woke up with a comment that took me away. It wasn’t that deep. But I had to think for awhile before replying. At the end, I couldn’t reply to it like I would wanted. The topic of the comment was stretch marks. The og said that no one could convince them, that stretch marks weren’t ugly.

I know you guys definitely don’t give a f about it, but I just wanna share it tho.

It took me so much time, so much years to accept having stretch marks. It took me so much time to convince myself to love and accept them. I used to find them ugly when I was younger. I used to cry everytime I looked at them in the mirror before taking a shower. I remember thinking about my future relationship, like what if the person i love find them disgusting ? What if they stop loving me because of my stretch marks ? I know, it probably sounds ridiculous but I’m the insecure and overthinking? type.

So when people feel like that about it, or is saying things not that positive about appearance. I feel bad and rethink about my past.

I want to encourage people to feel confident, tell them, ( since we’re talking about stretch marks ) - that these are not as ugly as they think. I feel so sad that I can’t make you guys feel more confident. I feel bad because I can’t do anything about it. I just want women to love themselves the way they are. To appreciate their bodies and all. And also, men. We all should, at least try, to accept and love ourselves.

Just woke up so I’m sorry I’m sensitive asf and still sleepy.

#sunny’s thoughts 💭

[cinewhore]

Lol so I am overthinking a lot of things right now and this website is for blogging so I am going to blog my feelings

I feel like a shit writer.

But I know I’m not a shit writer.

I have always felt that writing fanfic is important, and it helps me to write more frequently as well as express myself and connect with others. However, I just feel like I am forcing myself once again to do some thing that I don’t want to do and the reason I don’t want to do it is because I’m like what’s the point but I know what the point is obviously! I can’t tell you the amount of times I have come across my mutuals writing things and just get filled with such an envy that it makes me sad. And I just think why can’t I draw emotional responses from people? Am I not captivating enough? Am I too niche? Am I not writing surface level stuff enough because it seems like that’s the sort of stuff that gets appreciated. And I know that’s not fair to say because there is something for everyone, there’s an audience for everything I just feel like I put myself in a stupor because I am putting a lot of expectations on things and myself when there really shouldn’t be that much expectation for this creative outlet.

I don’t know if any of this makes a lick of sense, and I feel like I’m talking myself in circles, but I just want to put this out just in case my master list disappears again or i stop writing altogether.

The amount of energy that I try and put into what I post I definitely feel like could be used for other personal projects that could get me to where I want to be in life and now I am feeling like maybe I am sort of wasting my time at this moment by writing this stuff because it’s just not giving me the satisfaction but I know this speak to a bigger problem of the fucking algorithm and how terrible it is

There is absolutely no reason as to why I should be this upset or disturbed by fucking zeros and ones and “notes” that don’t really mean anything at the end of the day it’s so silly and trivial that it just pisses me off to know that this is something that upsets me, but I also want to give myself that grace because I’m upset because it means something to me.

I want to be challenged in my writing I want to love my writing, and most importantly, I want my writing to be loved by other people. I create these stories from my heart and I think I’m still learning what my role is as a storyteller and how I can better show up to that role.

This summer I thought that I would be able to relax and just write a whole lot, but I realize that relaxation for me at least is not writing this. This is definitely a period of rest, which means doing absolutely literally nothing, and because I was raised in the sort of grind culture, and the fact that I have to take care of myself, I always feel like I need to be producing something and I can’t just sit around and not do anything because that means I’m wasting time and time is something that we don’t really know how much we have of.

Blessings if you read this far again it’s 1 AM and I don’t know if any of this will make sense when I wake up but I know this is what I feel and I am still trying to figure out what those feelings are trying to tell me because feelings are there to tell you what you need and not who you are so I know I’m not a bad writer. I know all of these nasty things that my brain is telling me is not true. I am just trying really hard to figure out what it is my brain is telling me that I need.

#how many times have i posted something like this 😭 #i know y’all are like my god girl get a grip! #please know that I’m trying #i am just confusion #now that’s what i call blogging

[princeescaluswords]

And oh gosh, now I am overthinking my overly blasé comment at the end of what I just sent. I am absolutely not wanting to come across as dismissive of what the fandom has done to your favorite character and the actual pain you might have gone through, and I apologize if it came across that way. I just wanted you to know that I wish and mean you well!

First off, thank you for your concern. I'm not being sarcastic. We'd all be a little better off if we took a moment to reflect on not only what we're saying but how we say it. I appreciate it. And while my words below might seem to run counter to this, it's okay if you don't share my attitude toward the fandom.

But, to be clear, I haven't devoted a significant amount of my online presence to this particular situation only because it causes me pain. I didn't join a fandom until I was middle-aged, and if my participation mostly served to make me miserable, I would simply stop participating. After all, I have enjoyed media for decades before that, sometimes quite intensely, without it. I feel my motivation goes deeper than that. I am motivated by justice. I am motivated by teenagers. I am motivated by Ronald Reagan, and I am not joking.

I know it might sound a little over the top, but as a product of my life's experiences, I see this fandom's behavior and I know that it is wrong. The usual counter to a statement like that is that while it might be wrong, it's trivial. Even if people are disappointed by the rampant racism and misogyny, it's about a fictional character on a television show. How much hurt could it cause?

I remember growing up as a teenager in the 80s, and while I've talked about this before, this is from where my conviction arises. We lived in the suburbs where there were limited cultural options. We moved around a lot due to my father's occupation, so I never developed a large friend group. My father practiced an authoritarian parenting style, limiting my options. So when I became aware of my own sexuality, the only resources I had for what this might mean was on television. Gay characters on television in the 80s fell into three major categories: clowns, predatory criminals, and victims. That's what I saw. Without peers, without parental support, that's how I came to view myself. It was damaging, and I had to struggle with internalized homophobia for a long time. I sometimes daydream about what I could have accomplished with my life if I had been born twenty years later.

I experienced first-hand how cultural depictions can shape identity, so I am indeed sensitive to the fact that they still do. When I watch as the Teen Wolf fandom -- and it's not the only fandom that does this -- goes to extreme lengths to establish value in white male characters and only white male characters regardless of these characters' narrative purpose or even their behavior, I am fully confident that this is not just. It's not about something as personal as liking or disliking something. We are indeed individuals with our own wills, but those wills can only act in the environment in which we find ourselves. Parts of the Teen Wolf fandom work hard to create a toxic, racist environment. They should stop.

We see the impact it has beyond influencing the narrative or fandom interactions. It's been known that Dylan O'Brien wasn't going to be in the Teen Wolf movie for nearly a year before it came out, and he's still the primary media focus. The response to movie has been primarily driven by this. How is this remotely a good thing? Imagine the decision making in the editor's room about how to cover this story: "We know this show isn't about this white man, we know this white man isn't in the movie, but we're going to focus on it anyway." The sad part, the source of injustice, is that this isn't an innovation. Hollywood has always been this way.

And that's when we get to Ronald Reagan. I spent a lot of time during the 80s and the 90s thinking about him in terms of the AIDS crisis. (And if you think that crisis didn't scare the crap out of a young gay man, let me disabuse you of that notion.) Unlike some people today, I don't think he personally hated gay people. I don't think he turned to Nancy and said "Let those Sodomites die." He had to have known gay people; he had to have worked with gay people. He spent three decades in Hollywood before entering politics. But here's the thing -- the way Hollywood dealt with gay people during those three decades was to pretend they didn't exist. This isn't my opinion -- read any history of that time period in Hollywood. Sexual minorities were part of the day-to-day business, but to function the powers that be simply edited them out of their perception of reality. So I believe that at least part of what motivated Reagan's response to AIDS was habit. He was so used to not mentioning what was behind the curtain that he simply didn't perceive any value in talking about it openly. People like him created an alternate reality where what actually happened didn't matter as much as what they wanted to have happened.

See the connection? It doesn't matter how many actors of color Hollywood employs or how many stories about characters of color they tell if at the end of the day the production and the audience still act as if white characters are the only thing worthy of time and attention. Fandom has become a significant part of media. It's undeniable. So anodyne bullshit like "Don't like; don't read" or "Fiction =/= Reality" isn't just distasteful to me, it's the root of the problem. This false consciousness -- this daydream that fandom can create enormous amount of content vindictively transforming a story about a Latino character into a story about white male characters and it's not about race at all -- is just another manifestation of an ongoing social injustice.

I'm not, and I never will, ask people to see this situation exactly as I do. But I won't stop talking about it. Not yet. I think it's too important.

#media criticism #fandom problems #teen wolf fandom problems #fandom racism #personal post

[ace-sher-bi-john]

Me, feeling lonely: I should try to make more friends

My brain: Here's a list of all the reasons why we don't do that,

I experience hyperfixations which take up all of my mental energy to the point where I barely have enough energy to take care of myself. I can't handle having more than two obsessions at a time, and even that is draining. When my friends talk about their obsessions, I try really hard to listen, but lose interest quickly if it's not my current hyperfixation. In turn, I love to infodump and obsess over small details in my hyperfixations. I try really hard not to do this when talking to people because it feels very self-centered. Like they would care about hearing every single detail about my obsession, with no room for them to talk about their interests...

I'm an introvert and find human interaction exhausting unless that person is my mom (who I could literally talk to all day and never be tired, and she in turn would never tire of talking to me). Even talking to friends online is super exhausting and I overthink everything I say, which is even more exhausting

I have zero ability to gage how close I am to someone. I don't want to make things awkward by being super clingy, because several friendships failed throughout my life due to me being clingy and only wanting to play with one specific person even if they didn't feel like playing with me. So I've overcorrected and now I don't make any attempts to progress in our friendship out of fear of appearing clingy. I'm either the most clingy friend or the most distant friend. Friendships require a healthy balance of both and I am incapable of that, so I go for the option that will be seen as the least annoying/selfish and we remain at best really good acquaintances

My interests are very specific and change every couple of months. Even if I found someone who was obsessed with the same thing at the same time, as well as my more niche hobbies, the friendship would last as long as my hyperfixation. Once we no longer share common interests, I would inevitably talk to them less and less until one day, we're no longer friends. My brain would no longer find that person interesting and I would forget about them

I believe that I have it in me to be a really good friend. To get it right. But it would be at the cost of myself. I would try to make enough room in my brain for everyone else's lives and I wouldn't have any interests of my own. I would constantly be exhausted.

So instead I choose the option that sometimes makes me happiest, but other times leaves me sad and lonely wondering why I can't just be better at being a good friend?

I do have friends IRL. I have four people who I would consider to be close friends, possibly even best friends? Two of them have given me the label of being their best friend. But I don't talk to them as often as I probably should. I talk to one of them almost daily for hours at a time, because they just so happen to be obsessed with BBC Sherlock, the MCU and cosplay. But I fear that the second my BBC Sherlock obsession ends, I will stop talking to them.

Outside of those people, I don't know where I stand with anyone who's not family. I have my old classmates from high school. Some of them I talked to every day and had friendly interactions with, but I don't make any effort to stay in contact with them now and didn't feel much of a connection with when we were in school. I have my co-workers who I don't feel much of a connection to, but they're always happy to see me and sometimes interact with me in a way that makes me feel like we're friends. One of my co-workers hugged me before she went home on the day before she started her holiday break because she was going to miss seeing me everyday while she was off. That caught me off guard. I guess we're friends if she felt close enough to me to hug me?

Apologies for the rant. I just really needed to put that somewhere. I won't make a habit of this.

#basically i know im not a good friend #i also know what i need to do to fix that #but it would hurt my mental health to stop doing what makes me happy #infodumping about my obsessions makes me happy #infodumping with people who share my obsessions makes me happier #but listening to other people talk about their obsessions which i don't share is boring #that's selfish of me i know #but i can't just fix that about me #rant

[hermit-called-he]

BOLD

You make me feel so goddamn bold

I don’t know where I got all of this confidence, truth be told 

Maybe the quarantine is really getting to my brain 

Oh there is so much to gain 

I can’t believe I asked you for dinner on Valentine’s Day

You haven’t texted back yet and that fills me with dismay 

I am such an anxious girl oh my god 

I don’t know why you don’t think me oh so very odd

I feel like the dumbest person alive right now 

And that feeling is really hitting me like the full force of a snow plow 

This is all illogical, I know 

But I can’t help it when my thoughts decide they want to go to and fro 

God this feels like a new low 

I am ashamed of how often you are on my mind

I talk about how much I adore you all the goddamn time 

I’m miserable right now just analyzing my behavior 

I feel like this crush is slowly absorbing all of my personality’s flavor 

I’m so tempted to take my offer back but I shouldn’t be a coward about something like this 

God I really do destroy myself 

I just wish I could be in a state of naive bliss 

Why do you have to occupy most of the room on my thought shelf? 

I feel like I’m shrinking slowly, maybe even becoming a little elf 

You might think me bold on the surface but I’m all nerves underneath 

My thoughts go round and round so much they could form a giant Christmas wreath 

What makes you so special that I just have to talk about you all the time? 

Is it your love of Trek? Our lovely discussions about Who? The fact that you think not giving everyone equality should be a crime? 

God I walk such a fragile line 

I don’t want to be that girl that is too obvious but how else would you know I’m so engrossed in every part of you? 

I live for your sarcastic repartee and all those little other texting things you like to do

You keep me on my feet and I dream, 

Dream so hard about what it would be like to love you for a long time 

Somehow that feels like a huge crime 

As I’m writing this, I feel moments away from crying

Waiting for you to answer makes me feel like I’m lowkey dying 

I know you’re making your way to my location right now 

But god do I wish you could be here somehow 

I feel like a failure in the flesh

The boldness might just make me plummet to my untimely death 

I really don’t want us to be put in the position where I force you to break my heart 

That seems like an unfair course of action to chart 

I promise I don’t think you’re anything more than human 

I know people are quick to say that people like us are incredible, that we’re superhuman 

We both know we have flaws and if I might be honest, sir 

Yours are only more endearing the more I learn about them 

I’m drawn to you like a fish to a lure 

And with my dislike of feeling, this all makes me feel so very grim 

You make me want to be bold

Not because you are, obviously, I know you better than to think that

But you inspire me to venture out a little into the cold 

I wish I didn’t overthink it so much since it makes me feel like complete crap 

I don’t want to feel this level of sad over things I can’t control 

I need to stop imagining that you are the guy I win when I reach the goal 

That sounds so fucked up ugh 

I should stop trying to make your heartstrings tug 

I’m such a useless person at finding people who would love me like that 

I have too many trust issues which causes me to push everyone away 

I’m as jumpy as a terrified cat 

I just want to stop being so terribly affected by everything that you say 

So yes, this is where being bold gets me 

It gives me so much anxiety that I want to scurry up and hide in the branches of a tree 

I know if you saw these you’d tell me all my worrying is useless 

But that’s probably because you don’t think I should see myself as loveless 

You try to paint my world full of optimistic colors 

That makes me feel so goddamn happy that you think I should be in love with myself before I turn to others 

I can’t bring myself to agree because I’m so paralyzed by the fact you even like me 

Is this what years of being told I shouldn’t toe the line gets me? 

I suppose it is, especially if I consider simply asking you to grab dinner with me to be particularly risky 

I don’t know what to feel now, perhaps I should stop rambling and make myself another form of busy

#the poem is there it's just hard to read #it's one of the longest ones I wrote #original art #a hermit called he #adobe illustrator #poetry #my art

[lotusmi]

hello. i have a question for you if you don't mind answering.

i have this problem where i'm so good at keeping on top of things and i really feel like my desires are mine and they're going to manifest in the 3d, but it only lasts a day or two and i slip out of it and become depressed, and i immediately try to get back into that previous state but i'm constantly slipping out of it. i have this inner knowing i'll have everything i want someday and it's destined to happen to me, but in the present moment, i keep struggling with staying in that state of knowing and not slipping back into being sad what i want isn't here yet.

consuming information on loa helps me get back into a good state, but it's like when i start to go without it for a day or two, my mindset slips again and i start worrying, overthinking, and convincing myself i'm doing something wrong and have to fix it.

do you have any advice for this? i know i'm on the very edge of a breakthrough and it's exciting but i keep looping through this cycle and i'm not sure how to get out of it. one minute i'll feel secure and happy, and the next i'm back to feeling stressed and empty and like i'm just waiting for the time to pass instead of enjoying that time passing as i should be if i have my desires.

i manifested so many good things as a child just by not worrying and letting life happen as it did, but now that i know about manifesting, it's like i overcomplicate it by trying to make good things happen. i'm not sure how to find that balance again. i feel like my brain is invaded by a bunch of worms preaching limiting beliefs. even my subconscious via dreams has told me i need to just let go and relax and not (oh look it's 2:22 now) even try because trying is not accepting that what i want is happening, but it's hard and i feel resistance towards that because everyone acts like you have to try or you won't get what you want and it seems like all the signs are pointing in the same direction but then i start overthinking that maybe i'm misinterpreting them and will mess things up. i'm homeless so it's hard not to worry about manifesting things before they can get any worse.

thanks for reading my rambly mess. writing things down helps me sort out my thoughts so i can't help but talk a lot. i think you'll just tell me what i already know but it'd help to have it reinforced again.

Hi, look, the best advice I could give would be manifest this away by ignoring it and being indifferent so that it stops happening. Start assuming you already are someone who always persist, and you will be.

[nerwwrites]

Prompts from Royal & The Serpent's EP: Happiness is an Inside Job

I'M FINE

"I feel like hell, but I'm still alive."

"Am I good enough?"

"Should I be here?"

"Do I suck?"

"Feelin' love, but I feel like shit."

"Why do I feel like this?"

"Why can't I win?"

Death Of Me

"everyone's so damn concerned with their own bullshit to know if your eyes are red from crying or if there's food stuck in your teeth."

"And, as sad as that sounds, I find it kinda comforting."

"Our lives are wasted on pornography and rent."

"Happiness will be the death of me."

"Half the people you meet wont even remember your name, so stop overthinking!"

"Stop caring so much, 'cause nobody gives a fuck."

Love Abuser

"I'm just a bright-eyed bitch with my heart in a cage."

"If I scratched out your guts, would it scare you away?"

"I loved you to death, can you handle the pain?"

"I would crawl into your skin like a roach on a plate."

"Your the king of the world."

"I'm a moth to your flame."

"Save me if you're willing to die."

"We're both fucked up, but I need you tonight."

Happiness 4 Dummies

"My checklist of issues is endless."

"It's not supposed to be this hard, does anyone know where to start?"

"Someone teach me how to love me."

"Tell me why none of its working!"

No Regrets

"I don't wanna feel a thing."

"Talking about it makes me sick."

"I can't even count on half the people that I call my friends."

"Everything got better when I realized nothing matters anyways."

"I don't want your bad advice."

"Keep that baggage to yourself."

"I could show the whole world my scars, but that'd probably scare them all away."

"I would rather take another hit, put on a band-aid."

"I need help! I need help!"

"I'm too stubborn to ask myself."

"I'm so tired."

"I'm unwell."

"I'm too broken to fix myself."

"Don't know how much more I can take, I just know that I need to get better."

#rp #rp plots #prompt #plot #rp prompt #roleplay #roleplay plots #roleplay prompts