#i should visit doctors and take care of my health

[scientia-rex]

I grew up hearing that you should see your PCP every year for a “check up,” so I scheduled a well visit when I was 30ish after several years of not seeing one, but I had nothing to talk about. I felt so stupid and like I had wasted my doctor’s time, especially when I know they’re expected to see like 400 patients a day, overbooked to hell and back, and someone else probably needed that time more than me.

Without sharing specifics that might veer too close to “individual medical advice,” I have no major health issues. My testosterone is handled by a specialist and hasn’t changed in like 15 years. (Something nobody tells you about transitioning—it gets extremely boring.)

What does a 30-something person in “fine, I guess” health talk about at a check up? Do doctors get bothered if a patient comes in with nothing wrong, but knows they need to be seen every 3 years so the system doesn’t call them a “new patient” if anything does happen?

We don't get mad about the "just often enough to avoid being kicked out of the system" visits, especially if you call it that. Remember, yes, we need to see a billion patients, but an easy visit could buy us back 5 minutes of the day, and a no-show buys us back 15-20 minutes (albeit at the cost to other patients of a visit). Don't feel bad for taking care of your own needs in a system that has been designed to be hostile to human life.

[writing-in-glitter-pen]

♡𖠣 patchwork♡𖠣 II childe x fem!reader II mutual pining, childhood friends to lovers, cheery epilouge

Childe needs to see you before he meets his end; a precipice he is very near to by the time you find him miles from your home, crawling through the snow. To his confusion, you've taken him in and dedicated yourself to nursing him back to health. Little did you both know, your love for one another ran deep enough to heal all wounds.

content warnings: Childe is badly injured so there are descriptions of blood, broken ribs, aches and pains. Descriptions of applying medical stitches to close open wounds. Nothing too descriptive. I am not a doctor so do not try this at home. Mutually possessive themes. A suggestive comment in the epilouge. Let me know if I should add anything else!

Also, happy Thanksgiving everyone :) I am so grateful to each and every person who finds my work and enjoys it; these past six months of my blog being up and running has been so fulfilling and magical. I'm so lucky to have this community ♡ I'm sending all my love to you today ♡

“Blow.”

Childe puckered his split, dry lips and let out a weak breath---no power behind the gust at all. The hot steam that rose from the spoon you held to his lips mocked him; such a small opponent, unshaken and uncooled by his efforts.

You sighed; he wasn’t healing as fast as he should be...meaning, he most likely was ignoring your instructions and not adhering to his strict bed rest.

You were straddling him where he lied on the bed in your guest room, propped up by a mountain of pillows---including the ones from your own bed and the throw pillows from your couch; a desperate attempt to make him as comfortable as possible, which was a feat not easily achieved given his broken state. If you’d sat at his side, he wouldn’t be able to face you, since his cracked ribs made any movement excruciating. Even so, he refused to stay put, risking his health every time he got up in the middle of the night to use the shower or the bathroom. You told him you should be assisting him any time he had to exert himself, but he vehemently refused your help with his hygiene---it was simply humiliating that a grown man like him would need help washing himself, especially your help. “Save me my pride.”, he begged, the grim and embarrassed look on his face making you cave. You agreed to his demands as long as he’d let you walk him to and from the amenities, that way he wouldn't risk falling on his way and injuring himself further. But he’d still disobey and take himself there while you weren’t looking. You took to smelling his hair every time you came to check on him, smoothing it back and lifting your nose to his forehead to check if he showered without you getting him there safely. He always smelled clean, bringing that frustrated frown he loathed to be the cause of to your pretty face.

“You’ll kill yourself.”, you’d warn, “And I’ll have to bury you in the backyard.”.

He didn’t understand why you cared so much—why you, literally, dragged him back to your house after finding him beaten and bloody only a couple miles from your cabin, having crawled from a camp in a Snezhnayan forest he had been instructed to collect a debt from the residents of. They'd expected his visit and prepared an ambush of twenty. Normally, he could win a battle such as this with ease, but his exhuastion from the continuous missions he was assigned by the Fatui without breaks became too much for him. Thank Celestia you found him when you did, having fortunately been scavenging for snow berries in the very same forest.

He had been hauling himself in the direction of your cabin, trying to get as far as he could so that he might deliver you the letter he’d been saving in the breast pocket of his daily coat for years. One he’d carried with him always to ensure that, in the event he met his end, that his final confession would reach you.

A letter he’d been too cowardly to send to you in life—his one and only friend, the girl he grew up with in grade school, who he’d chosen to play make believe in the snow and ice-skate with, rather than hunting and roughhousing with the other boys in his class. It wasn’t that those boyish activities didn’t interest him, it was that his interest in you outweighed those hobbies by tons. You were everything, still were.

That’s why it was so mortifying that you had to nurse him back to health; shouldering the consequences of his deadly line of work.

Not only did he almost lose his life to his opponents, but for you to find him at his weakest made the shame burn all the worse.

You leaned over to where you brought the spoon a centimeter from his lips, nose nearly brushing his own as you gently blew on the sip of homemade chicken soup inside. He felt your warm breath on his lips, the feeling of you made his pale cheeks turn pink and weak heart sputter in his chest.

If his ribs weren't broken, if they were still in the healthy condition of a cage they once were, he might believe his chest housed a hummingbird; the pace of his heart mimicking the incessant beating of it's wings. The way just being close to you stirred and electrified him, you could bring him back to life with just a kiss.

Your eyes flicked back up to his, urging the spoon to his lips, indicating you wanted him to open them.

He did, his gaze not breaking from yours as he opened his mouth and let you feed him. It was such an intimate moment that you forgot to breathe, catching your breath as you watched him swallow the meal you'd prepared for him and him alone. Though you were both quiet, it felt like the room buzzed lowly around the both of you. He didn't know it, but the way he looked at you with such deep warmth made you shiver.

“You were up last night, weren’t you?”, you finally asked, already knowing the answer.

Indignity marred his face as he averted his eyes to the wooden floor of your house, but his break from your irritated gaze didn’t last long. You took his chin between your thumb and forefinger and redirected his attention back to your face.

“Tell me the truth.”

He had no choice now. You had him pinned.

“…Yes, I got up…sorry.”

Your disappointed face made him flinch—stinging more than your anger or scorn ever could.

You sighed, closing your eyes and moving your hand from his chin to cup his cheek, worried eyes boring into his and squeezing his heart.

“You’re delaying your healing process. Every time you get up without help—“

“I don’t need a walker like a decrepit, old man”, he spat, instant regret pailing him. He hated that he snapped at you, hated that he couldn't control himself. His embarrassment would overwhelm him---like it always did when you looked at him like a wounded animal. He turned his face away from you once again, but you pulled his attention right back.

“Stop it.”, your stern command sat like a rock in his stomach. Though, the heavy feeling dissipated when your gaze turned soft and fretting. “I’m sorry I’m playing 'demanding nurse', but I need you to work with me if you’re ever going to get better. I don’t want these wounds to be permanent; getting up without help will make your bones heal wrong, or open your stitches back up.".

He knew better than to take his eyes off of you at this point, but the guilt in his expression told you all you needed to know. His late night walk last night had come with consequences.

“You didn’t—"

Without warning, you threw the blankets off of him, only to find a bloody, crudely secured bandage over the deep laceration on his abdomen. He'd popped his stitches.

“Childe!”, your shriek made him wince. “Why didn’t you tell me!”.

“I’m sorry…”, he started, but you didn’t hear him. You were already running off to grab the first aid kit from the kitchen.

He was getting really sick and tired of disappointing you. He'd been in this room for weeks, been your constant source of anxiety and labor for weeks, and he wasn't getting any better.

...but you were never frustrated. Sure, he'd annoy you with his pride, but no amount of effort put into caring for him would ever be a waste, not to you, at least. He'd pop his stitches or worsen a crack in his ribs with a fall or sharp movement, you'd scold him, but no matter how many times it happened, you'd always redo them, always hold ice packs or heating pads over his aches; carefully, gently.

He watched your beautiful, soft hands work while they drew the needle and thread through him---and he wouldn't flinch. It didn't even hurt. It couldn't, when it was a mesmerizing sight; the way you left what would be permanent scars along his body---covering the old ones left by his enemy. Scars that were not made to wound, but to heal. Any mark you left upon him was gratefully accepted, knowing that he'd now carry evidence of you and your care with him at all times, all the way up until his last day in this world.

Like clockwork, the process was quick and painless. The first time you'd sewn him up, you had no clue what you were doing; fumbling and sobbing as you desperately tried to save his life. Tears clouded your view and your shaking hands couldn't safely find purchase on his abdomen. But Childe steadied you, held you close and whispered reassurances and apologies to you while talking you through every step. Now, he was like your personal patchwork doll. You'd sewn him up every time he went and hurt himself again, each stitch made with love and care.

When you were done, you wiped the area with a warm, firewater-soaked cloth, then applied an antibacterial ointment. He'd tried to take it from you, insisting he could apply it himself, but you smacked his hands away.

"You're my patient. Just sit back and let me take care of you.", you said it like it was nothing; a plain fact, your job. But it wasn't your job. He couldn't see why you were so compelled to shoulder this work yourself when you could've had him carted off to a Fatui infirmary the day you found him.

"They won't take care of you like I will.", was all you would say.

You knew the Fatui infirmary would prioritize getting their war machine in working order as soon as possible, rather than giving him quality treatment and time to heal. You also knew that, since visitors were not allowed into the Fatui headquarters, he would be all alone. And you wouldn't have that. You'd gotten letters to your residence that the Fatui knew you had their harbinger and were coming to collect him, but you used every one of them as kindling for the hearth in Childe's room. Soldiers had shown up at your front door, demanding entry or that you send their harbinger out to them, but to their surprise, you fought them like a wildcat. It was incredible how fierce you'd gotten over the subject of Childe's care, not allowing anyone but yourself to touch him. Your shouting startled the agents and they backed off as you swung the wooden spoon you'd been holding at them, warning them to get lost.

"He'll be back when he's healed and not a moment sooner!", you'd hollered as they begrudgingly trudged away.

Childe's gaze on you was proud and soft at the memory; you were the only person that had ever fought for him---and fought Fatui agents two times your size with a wooden spoon, too.

At your request, he greedily accepted your touch, closing his eyes as he let himself be blissfully consumed by the feeling of your kind hand smoothing the ointment over his skin.

When you finished, you sat back and examined him for a while. You did this often---like you were saving the image of him somewhere deep within you, like you were scared to forget him, scared to lose him. Your gaze washed him in warmth, his chest aching from the well of love he harbored for you. It made his eyes glitter and his heart ask questions it was desperate to know the answers to.

"...why do you put yourself through this?", the question slipped from his mouth in a whisper before he had the chance to think it through. It had been eating away at him since the day you took him in.

You tilted your head, the curious pout on your lips making him gulp; you were so very cute.

"Through what?", you asked.

"This.", he clarified, lifting his arms as much as he could to gesture to the situation you'd both found yourselves in. "...you know you don't have to.".

"I want to.", you argued. "The Fatui wouldn'---"

He interrupted your statement, "wouldn't take care of me like you would, I know. But that doesn't answer my question.", he looked into your eyes with furrowed eyebrows and painful confusion in his expression. "I know I'm burdening you. So why would you put yourself through this?".

In all honesty, he was terrified of your answer. He feared that asking would make you come to your senses and finally send him away; though he knew you deserved to get his hopeless corpse out of your house.

What he didn't expect was the lips he was so enamored with curving into a smile.

"You said you were mine; so you're mine to take care of. No one else's."

Now this perplexed him. He'd been yours since the day he met you, when your pretty face and gentle demeanor tethered him hopelessly to you from your first shared smile. And that tether coiled itself tighter and tighter around him with every day you spent at each other's side, every time he observed your unending compassion---building huts for creatures of the forest before snow storms would hit, patiently helping him with the school subjects he struggled in, babysitting his siblings with him while his parents were away...but what was so confusing was, he'd never told you. He belonged to you in silence and silence alone, neglecting to inform you of the hold you had on the heart he'd willingly given to you long ago.

He was at a loss for words, your exclamation hitting the nail right on the head. He was yours, but how did you know?

His wide eyes and crimson cheeks only made you chuckle, pulling his letter out of the apron you wore---the letter he'd saved on his person at all times for you in the event of his death.

"Unless this isn't yours?", you asked, cheekily.

His face paled. You must've found it after you'd taken him back to your house to care for him. You'd washed his clothes, including his coat, and emptied the pockets before throwing them in the wash bin---finding his letter for you safely tucked in the pocket that rested above his heart.

You opened the letter and read aloud your favorite passage to him:

"When you find my body, I ask that you carve out my heart and take it with you; it belongs to you, just as my body, my mind and my soul, though I fear the whole of me is too heavy for you to carry. Carry this, so you may have me and not be crushed by my weight. So you may have proof that I, and everything I am, belongs to you."

The rosy, dreamy smile that bloomed on your lips as you cantored his confession to him like gospel brought his deepest wishes and desires to life; you accepted him and his love with your full heart. His voice escaped him as you made his dreams come true with just a smile. Your perfect, perfect smile.

"Childe...", you said with a sweetness in your voice that rivaled any dessert he'd ever tasted.

His name falling from your lips made his heart jump.

"...yes?"

"...I love you.", the phrase left your throat like a quiet, ardent cry. I love you. It came from a deep, ancient part of your heart; a space carved out long ago for the boy you spent your childhood with, a space whose walls strain against the fullness of it. You'd stuffed it full of so much care for him, it felt like it was just a pinprick from bursting.

Your words made his own heart whine and scrape at the confines of his chest like a puppy wanting out of its cage so that it may find its beloved owner.

"That's why I take care of you. I love you.". It wasn't an explaination, it was a promise. It was a confession that you were just as tethered to him as he was to you.

Without another word, you scooted closer and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, careful not to lean too much of your body weight on him, but enough to envelop him in your warmth. He felt your heart beating against his, a passionate duet between lovers that had gone too long unsung.

He couldn't hold you in return, his arms aching too much to lift, but he buried his nose in the crook between your shoulder and neck, breathing in your scent as deeply as he could, pressing kisses to the soft space. You loved him. You loved him. He'd believe he was dreaming if the soreness from his wounds wasn't all too real---proof that he was living and breathing in the reality that you wanted him. That you wanted him and he was yours without any hesitation. Now, he was itching to heal, prepared to follow any rules you put in place for him as long as it meant that at the end of the process he could hold you like he wanted to---tight and possessive and finally.

He hungrily kissed his way up the column of your neck, just like he'd done in every daydream he had a moment to indulge in and in the periods of wakefulness he spun in before he fell asleep every night. Every waking thought he could spare was spent in dedication to you you you. He made his way up your jaw, to the sensitive spot behind your ear that made you gasp and shiver; spending a long, devoted moment tending to it eagerly. Then he kissed back down your cheek until he hovered right in front of your lips---pausing there. He looked up into your eyes amorously, pleadingly, silently asking for your permission to press his lips to your own. As if he was unsure if he was worthy or not.

Your loving gaze was enough to give him his answer.

So he shut his eyes and leaned into you as you braced yourself on his shoulders, squeezing them as his cracked lips finally met your own. He ardently devoured you, his desperation overcoming his physical limitations---abandoning his need for physical comfort in lieu of his need to taste you, to lick up every sweet kiss you would give him. He leaned forward as you attempted to pull away, his lips unable to satiate their craving. You relented, laughing lightly as you gently pressed him back down onto the pillows to relieve the sharp pain in his abdomen he sacrificed for a moment more of your lips on his. You indulged him, smoothing your hands up his neck to cup his jaw and hold him as you gave him as much as he wanted---which would never be enough.

No matter how much affection you'd give him, it could never fill the well of longing he'd been digging for you since the day he met you.

He'd yearn for you every moment of every day of his life. In this moment, he made a law for himself to follow: After he heals, he'll take care of himself, treat his exhaustion and avoid lethal injuries, so that he may keep coming back to you with his love in tow---offerings of affection he'd lay at your feet and pray you'd accept. He'd keep his heart beating so it would stay warm for you; so that the day you'd pry it from his chest would remain eras away.

· · ♡ · ·

"Childe, I can hold the spoon.", you demanded, attempting to snatch the spoonful of soup from his hand as he chuckled and evaded your swipes.

Your grumpy, flushed face was too adorable for his heart to take, and the sound of your stuffy voice was too funny.

Oh, how the tables have turned since the day you'd taken him into your home. Once he'd started adhering to your treatment plan wholeheartedly, he healed in record time. Your harbinger had grown stronger and livlier than ever, a feat which he acreditted solely to your kisses and love.

"All I'm saying is, I didn't start healing until you started kissing me.", he had claimed, grinning broadly as he brought you into his arms after being able to stand on his own without pain for the first time since his injury.

He'd moved in not too long after he came back from his first mission since his hiatus, favoring your cozy cabin over any mansion his money could buy. He was grateful to be home with you...but you'd caught a bug while he was away. When you opened your front door with bleary, puffy eyes and the sniffles, he couldn't help but pinch your cheeks and laugh, drawing you in for a kiss. You'd argued and tried to push his face away, shouting that he'd get himself sick, but he only captured your wrists and held them against his chest as he pressed his lips to yours.

"No weak little bug can take down a warrior as strong as me.", he'd arrogantly claimed...

...you hated that he was right.

So he got to steal kisses from you scott free while he nursed you back to health, just as you'd done for him.

And he delivered such sweet payback, playing 'demanding nurse' just like you had.

"C'mon, sweetheart. Open up. Medicine's gotta go down the hatch."

"You're not sleeping alone tonight, love. Gotta keep you warm so your cold doesn't get worse!"

"Maybe you shouldn't shower alone...you might faint. Just let me come with you."

You started to pick up on the fact that maybe not all of his rules and regulations were made solely in your interest.

Now, you were fighting him over whether or not you could feed yourself.

"My arms aren't broken!", you bickered, sniffling and pouting like a stubborn child.

"Ah ah ah! But any physical exertion could delay your progress. You wanna get better, don't you?", he argued, grinning like a fox.

"...yes."

"Then lay back and let me handle you. I gotta take care of what's mine, right?".

You only quit your grumbling because he looked so proud of himself. So cheerful that he got to make you feel better and call you his, just like you'd done for him.

He planted a kiss to your hot forehead, tutting as he pulled away.

"Your fever hasn't gone down yet. Let me get you a cool compress."

With that, he trotted off to the kitchen. You couldn't help but smile at his antics, running about without a break and spending every moment of the day doting on you---all for a little case of the sniffles.

And how could he not? You were his one and only love, and like he said, like he'll repeat any time you need to hear it...

You are his. He is going to take care of you.

#genshin x reader #childe x reader #childe x you #genshin childe #genshin ajax #genshin fluff #genshin x you #genshin impact #tartaglia x reader #genshin tartaglia x reader #childe fluff #friends to lovers #childe genshin impact #ajax genshin impact #ajax tartaglia #tartaglia x you #genshin tartaglia

[thefallennightmare]

Miracle-one

(gif created by me, the fallen nightmare. feel free to use, simply give credit)

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.

Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.

Authors Note: Here we go! Tags are open if anyone is interested!

Tags:

"Mom, do you need anything before I leave?" I asked my mom, who was sitting on the couch in our living room.

Her eyes were cold and vacant as she watched the television, well tried to anyway. It didn't matter if she paid attention to whatever was on, she would forget in a while. When she didn't respond, I sighed and brushed the graying hair out of her face which caused her to look up at me, finally.

No hint of recognition in those vacant eyes.

"Who are you?"

Her words chipped away at the stone wall I had around my heart as I blew out a shaky breath.

"Y/N. I'm your daughter," I said while kneeling in front of her.

Even with my name spoken, my mother didn't recognize me.

It's been like this for the last six months since she first received her Alzheimer's diagnosis. It was farther than we would have liked and the doctor said that her health would decline fast. She forgot who I was one month after her diagnosis and the bad days were more so than the good days. From the second I woke up till the very moment I lay in bed for the night I spent the day taking care of her until recently. My job was going to pick up again which meant I would leave her for about five weeks.

I was terrified to leave her alone especially for that long. There was this great company that I can have a live in nurse take care of her while I'm gone but when I looked into pricing, I nearly had a heart attack. We did okay money wise. After my dad passed away a few years ago, he left us a decent cushion. The house was paid off a very long time ago which helped on the bills; except the medical bills.

Every drug, every trial, and every visit burned deeper into my pockets and now the overdue bill's kept pilling up on our kitchen table. My job paid good enough where I could fill our fridge with groceries and take care of the smaller things but even that couldn't help with the bigger things. I thought about asking for a small raise but the fear of having to tell one of my boss' why was daunting so I never did.

Which is where I was headed now. I had to help get everything ready before we hit the road for the tour. My heart fluttered knowing I would see him tonight.

"Y/N," my mom raised a brow. "I'm sorry, I don't know a Y/N."

I swallowed the lump in my throat then gave her knee a squeeze. "I should only be gone for a few hours. My phone number is writing on the piece of paper next to the house phone."

I pointed to the table next to her where said phone and paper was. My mom tracked it with her vacant eyes and nodded.

"Just watch your show and before you know it, I'll be back. Alright?"

She said nothing, merely watched the television, so I stood straight, giving her shoulder a squeeze and left the house. I wasn't the one to pray so instead I whispered out into the world my words repeatedly.

"She will be fine. She can handle herself for a few hours."

I walked into the large warehouse hearing laugher and voices carry which eased my worries of leaving my mom alone. No one I worked with knew about my mom and I planned to keep it that way. Davis smiled at me when I walked over to the large table he was standing in front of, a large array of shirts, hats, and sweaters lay on top of it.

"Think it'll be enough?" I asked as I started helping him fold everything into sections.

Davis shrugged. "It's always good to have extra than not enough."

"The new designs look sick," I said.

"Thanks," Davis smiled while bumping his shoulder with me.

While Davis and everyone else who worked for the band had important jobs, mine wasn't anything even close to important. The only reason I got the job was because Davis and I went to high school together. We weren't best friends but stayed in touch. He's also the only one who knows something is going on back home but never knew exactly what; which is why he recommended the job for me. He knew I was desperate for money.

I was the merch girl for Bad Omens and the vocalist absolutely despised it.

Maybe it was because I never asked him for the job or the slack that merch girls always get. They only have the job so they can hook up with members of the band. Which was the absolute last thing I wanted to do; even if he was breathtakingly handsome.

As if her could sense my thoughts about him, his ethereal voice echoed throughout the warehouse and my breath caught in my throat. I looked over my shoulder and saw him standing at the back of a large truck, the one where the merch and other things for the new tour will go.

The smile that graced Noah Sebastian's face brightened everything dark and scary in my mind for a few moments and I reveled in the way my heart skipped a beat whenever he was near.

"You're staring."

Turning back to Davis, I scoffed and went back to work of stuffing the boxes. "I am not."

"Are you actually going to talk to him this tour? Last one you barley said three words to him," he said.

"I would if he wasn't such an asshole towards me. I didn't even do anything to deserve the cold shoulder."

Davis sighed while letting a large pile fall into the box at our feet, a lot messier than the ones I had been packing. I gave him a narrowed gaze of annoyance, one he ignored.

"Don't take it personal. Noah is quiet. I'm sure if you tried to talk to him, you'd find out he's a great guy," Davis suggested.

"I'd rather chew broken glass," I muttered.

I'd work with Bad Omens and crew for about almost a year now and in that time, Noah and I spoke less than ten words to each other. While on the last tour, I kept to myself not knowing anyone besides Davis which might have put me off to Noah. He probably thought I didn't care about getting to know anyone else here; which wasn't true. I had other things on my mind.

Like wondering how I was going to pay my mom's medical bills.

"New designs look sick, Davis."

My shoulders stiffened at the deep voice, his scent filling all of my senses. I could see Noah out of the corner of my eye while I continued to fold the shirts and sweaters. His gaze burned into the side of my head before falling to the messy pile of clothes in the box.

"You're not going to leave it like that, are you?" Noah raised a brow.

I audibly choked on my spit at him blaming me for that mess.

"No, I was planning on leaving it like that. I mean what's the point of folding everything perfect when it's just going to be packed in a box," I replied dryly while holding up the pile of clothes I had been folding.

Something flashed in his dark eyes, the corner of his lips pulling up slightly.

"She does speak."

"Oh, fuck off Noah. I'm not in the mood," I snapped while giving him my back.

Davis let out a low whistle before taking the now full box of merch to the truck, leaving Noah and I alone. It might have been a bad idea snapping at him like that but it was true. I was dealing with a lot at home so the last thing I needed was bullshit from him.

"Did you break up with your boyfriend?"

The shirt I was folding fell onto the table at his words. Boyfriend? I didn't have one; I never did.

"I don't have a boyfriend," I muttered, fingers toying with the fabric of the shirt.

Noah hummed while leaning against the table next to me. He sat facing everything behind me while I stood facing the wall behind him.

"Davis didn't want to go out with you?" He pressed with a sly smirk.

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep my growing anger at bay. I already snapped at him once, I couldn't risk my job my doing it again.

"Davis and I are just friends. I don't think of him like that and I'm sure the feelings are mutual."

"Good," Noah nodded. "Because the last thing I need is you distracting someone on the crew because of a little crush."

My eyes snapped over to him, flaring with fury. "What is your problem with me, Noah? If you don't want me here, just fire me so you can stop wasting my time and yours."

With how much taller he was than me, even sitting on the edge of the table Noah towered over me as he leaned closer. His warm breath fanned across my face as I peered up at him. Even with my fury, my heart hammered hard against my chest with our proximity, something I hope Noah couldn't hear.

"Trust me, angel. You'd know if I was wasting my time with you."

He watched me for a few moments before walking away; him taking the warmth that cocooned around me away with him. I blinked long after he left, trying to let his words process in my mind. What the hell did he mean by that?

But suddenly, his pet name for me was the only thing at the forefront of my mind and I wasn't sure if I liked the way my body reacted to it; heat spreading from my heart straight down between my legs, core aching with need.

For the next little while, I worked alone finishing up folding all the merch and when I had four boxes stuffed full; I began bringing them over to the truck. On my way back with my third box, I saw Noah and Nick Folio standing at the back of the truck, laughing about something I didn't know. I ignored the way my stomach warmed at seeing the large smile on Noah's face as I walked past him up the ramp of the truck.

Folio noticed how I could barley see over the box and reached out for it.

"Hey, Y/N. Need some help?" He asked.

I let him take it with a small smile. "Thanks, Folio."

Unlike Noah, I spoke to the other members of the band and crew. I wouldn't say we were close but more than strangers.

"How many more do you have?" He asked as he set down the box next to the others.

"Just one. I can get it though, I don't want to distract you."

As the last few words came from lips, I made sure to lock my eyes with Noah, who was watching me with bright eyes, arms crossed over his chest. The way his eyes glinted with the setting sun almost made a smile break out on my face.

Almost.

Folio looked between Noah and I before letting out a low chuckle. "If you guys go the whole tour with this tension, something is going to explode before it ends."

I shook my head. "There's no tension."

"Right," Folio clicked his tongue. "And I play guitar for Bad Omens."

The sarcasm in his voice wasn't missed and with a sigh, I left the two of them back to whatever they were doing before I interpreted. The only tension, if there was any, between Noah and me was hate. He never liked me even from my first day. So why would I bother being nice to him when he didn't give a shit about me?

After the last box was loaded into the truck, I began walking back into the warehouse to see if Davis needed me for anything else when my phone rang.

"Mom?" I spoke when I saw the caller I.D.

Noah was walking inside the warehouse with Nick Ruffilo, laughing that beautiful laugh, so not wanting him to hear my conversation I held back away from them.

"Who is this?"

I sighed while pinching my eyes shut. "Mom, it's Y/N. You called me. Is everything alright?"

"Oh." There was a long beat of silence on the other line before some rustling came through. "I was hungry and wanted to make something to eat."

"NO!" I yelled into the phone.

Noah turned to look at my sudden outburst but I didn't bother to look at him, the fear of wondering if my mom turning on the stove filled me.

"Did you turn on the stove?" I asked.

"No, there's a note saying not too. Which is why I called."

I swallowed the sob that almost crawled out of my throat.

"Okay, good." I nodded. "I'm almost done at work. I'll pick up some pizza on the way home. You like pizza."

Another long beat of silence.

"Alright. I'll go back to watching my show."

"Good, I'll be home soon. Love you mom."

The line clicked off before I even finished speaking and I stared at my phone with a long breath. If she had turned on the stove, things would have been a lot worse. A few weeks ago while I was taking a nap, my mom tried to cook something and forgot about it, letting it blaze up in flames and when she tried to extinguish it, she burned her hand pretty bad. So since that day, I had a large note tapped to the front panel of the oven saying not to use it.

Thank goodness I did.

"Everything alright?"

I jumped slightly at the deep voice and quickly wiped away the stress tears that burned at the corners of my eyes before turning on my heels. Noah stood in front of me with his hands buried deep into the pocket of his black hoodie. My hands itched to run through the messy strands of his face but I held back.

"Uh, yeah. I loaded all the boxes up in the truck. Is there anything else you want me to do?"

His gaze took over my chest rising and falling rapidly with each deep breath I took and I knew he noticed the tears that gathered in the edge of my eyes.

"If you could-."

My phone rang again, interrupting Noah, and I apologized with a sheepish frown. When I saw the unknown number, I excused myself from him and answered.

"Hello?"

"Is this Ms. Y/L/N?"

"Yeah, who is this?"

"This is Chief Reynolds with the Los Angeles fire department."

My heart fell out of my ass and I stumbled out an incoherent sentence, forgetting that Noah was still standing behind me.

"What happened?" I finally managed out.

"We have a Mrs. Y/L/N here at your residence."

I rapidly nodded even though the Chief couldn't see. "That's my mom. Is she alright?"

"Well, it seems as if she tried to cook something on your stove and let the gas burn. A neighbor called in a strong smell of gas. It seems as if she had it burning for a while."

"Oh fuck," I groaned while running a hand through my hair. "Is she alright?"

"Yes, we tested her for any effects of the gas but she seems fine. We opened some windows to air it out. You shouldn't have any issues."

I spoke to him for a few more seconds before thanking him and hanging up. Fucking hell, she tried to cook something and damn near exposed herself to gas. I left her for two hours, how the fuck was I supposed to leave her for five weeks?

"Do you need to leave?"

I jumped, hand over my chest when I suddenly remembered Noah was still standing behind me. For the first time in almost a year of knowing him, I saw concern in his eyes as he looked at me.

"Uh, a small emergency at home. I have to go take care of it," I said.

Noah nodded. "Yeah, go ahead. Did you have a ride set up for Saturday?"

I cursed, almost forgetting that in two days we were leaving for tour. I needed the money but also couldn't bear the idea of leaving my mom alone.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I was going to ride on the crews bus."

"I hope things are alright," he said while motioning to my car in the parking lot.

"Thanks," I grumbled before jogging over to the car, not wanting to leave my mom alone for a second longer.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #forced proximity #enemies to lovers #slow burn

[enavstars]

This is Ninazu Rashid or Dr. Rashid, my only ninjago oc besides Cyra. He is a doctor in Ignacia that befriended Kai and Nya and cares a lot about them.

Basically I wanted to make a kind and patient adult oc because Kai and Nya need one (badly) and there are barely any nice adults in the show (not including Ed and Edna, we respect them :>).

Details:

(Cw: mentions of homophobia and ped0philia)

Dr. Rashid is the doctor of a small clinic in Ignacia who also runs the pharmacy. He met the siblings when Kai got badly sick and they called him out for help. Even when Kai got better, Rashid couldn’t keep the situation they were living in off his mind, so he would usually go to check on Kai's health... and also take care of them a bit, in whatever little way he could.

Nya used to go by the clinic after school because Rashid would usually give her drinks and snacks (she loved the hot choco in winter) and he tried, with little success, to make Nya convince Kai to come so he could eat something too.

One time, Nya got sick and Kai went under the rain to his door to ask dr. Rashid for help; of course, he went with him and gave the necessary medicine to Nya. Since they couldn’t afford it, though, Kai asked to work at the pharmacy to help Rashid as compensation, and after a lot of insinsting, the doctor finally gave in and let him. But they ended up bonding during that time, and Rashid did defend Kai even when he started stealing, but he also made him understand that he should only do so when absolutely necessary.

However, as he's gay, when the conservative village found out a bunch of nasty rumors started to spread, most of them about his sexuality and his relationship with Kai and Nya (ped0philia). Rashid tried to endure the comments but it was starting to affect his job with people simply not going to the clinic because of it. So, sadly, he had to leave to Ninjago City, unintentionally leaving Kai and Nya with even more abandonment issues and not a single safe person in the village.

In the present he spent many years trying to be Kai and Nya's general doctor for whenever they get hurt in missions (even going out of his way to study more so he could help them), until finally he made it (I know nothing of how hospital works so this may be wrong). The siblings were confused and angry at him at first, until he explained the reasons why he left and they calmed down.

Dr. Rashid then proceeded to ask what he could do to make them feel better from then on, and actually listened to them and treated them like grown people (looking at you Ray and Maya :))). Kai and Nya then forgave him and are really good friends with him now.

More stuff:

He got married and is sad and frustrated that he couldn't invite the siblings to the wedding.

He is really respected in the hospital for being the only doctor who Kai and Nya listen to and how "docile" they are with him.

Kai and Nya sometimes visit him for dinner.

He is also very kind to the other ninja and understands how hard they work for Ninjago. He is specially kind to Lloyd for that and for being Kai and Nya's younger brother.

#the duality of my ocs with Kai #one wants to take care of him and it’s literally the kindest person #and the other wants to make him go through hell #art #ninjago #ninjago oc #ninjago kai #kai smith #ninjago nya #nya smith #rgb siblings

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Being a native of Foosha Village and falling for Shanks would involve...

Shanks x reader

Sorry if the timeline is a bit wonky, I wasn't able to determine how long exactly the Red Haired pirates spend on Foosha nor how much time passes between the beginning of Luffy's adventure and him getting a bounty, at least in the Live Action continuity...

*****

🏴‍☠️ Being Foosha's resident doctor, you have known Luffy since he was a baby; he is usually in good health, but sometimes you are called to treat a small wound or a bruise he sustained while he played... or got into trouble as usual. You quickly grow fond of the child, who in turn comes to consider you as a sort of older sister. He routinely eats at your place when the Partys is closed, and you insist he regularly attends the village's school, pointing out even a pirate needs a basic education.

🏴‍☠️ One day you are called to the village's little harbour; a pirate crew has docked that morning, some members of the crew have come down with a sickness they cannot diagnose, and the captain has insisted none of them go ashore lest they infect the villagers. Privately you have your misgivings about their presence, in case your visitors are the sort of people who depredate defenseless villages and indulge in violence and bloodshed for the sheer pleasure of it, but as a doctor you have sworn to assist any person who needs it, so you take your bag, introduce yourself once you have reached the ship, and are admitted on board.

🏴‍☠️ You are quickly brought to the captain, and so you find yourself face to face with Red-Haired Shanks, one of the most famous pirates of the Four Seas... even though he doesn't look particularly glorious at the moment. He explains that the first signs of the sickness appeared three weeks ago, when a few of his men started coughing and complaining of chills even though it was summer, and soon many of them were struck down with the fever that, in the confined spaces of the ship, quickly spread to the whole crew, even though the captain ordered to confine the sick in their quarters... and then to do the same to the healthy ones, to protect them. There had been no one capable to treat the men, since the ship doctor had been killed in a scuffle with another crew two months ago, and since then they had not acquired another yet.

🏴‍☠️ "Not the wisest decision of my life, I know; I should have realized that a doctor is vital for a crew, more than a cook or even a navigator. I thought we would have more time, because we hadn't needed one in more than a year... please, help us." he says; he is lying on his cot, clearly weak and in pain for the fever, but there is an unquestionable, unquenchable energy in his eyes, the desperate fire of his force of will that has led him to become one of the most respected and powerful pirates of the Four Seas, burning as bright as his red hair "I will pay you well, you have my word, and I promise we came to your village to rest for a while and search for help; we don't want to hurt anyone. No, take care of my men first; some of them have been in pain for weeks. Save them, I beg you."

🏴‍☠️ The desperation in his voice, the sincere worry of a captain who deeply cares for the men under his command, would be enough to dispel your qualms, if you had any. You immediately start attending your patients, and are relieved to realize they are suffering from red fever, a technically fatal illness that can nonetheless be quite easily cured, that a few men probably contracted on the last island they visited and then spread to the rest of the crew. The number of patients to treat causes some difficulty, but fortunately Foosha's apothecary is well-stocked with the ingredients you need to prepare the medicine, and Makino and a few other women offer to assist you as nurses. It takes a few days, but soon Shanks and his men are on the road to recovery, the least sick already back to health.

🏴‍☠️ Shanks is immensely relieved for your help, and thanks you profusely; as he promised, he offers to reward you handsomely for your service, and seems impressed when you insist to accept your usual fee and nothing more, plus a compensation for your assistants. "I am a doctor." you simply explain, shrugging your shoulders and sincerely convinced there is nothing heroic, or even just commendable, in what you did "I swore to help whoever needed it, pauper or King, hero or bandit; you and your men were sick, and I could treat you. End of the story." "Nevertheless, I really appreciate your help, doctor; meeting you was a blessing from the Gods." Shanks says; he is back on his feet, his already familiar straw hat on his head, and you find yourself smiling back without realizing. He has a very nice smile. "I was happy to help; and please, call me (name)."

🏴‍☠️ As promised, Shanks and his men create no disturbance in Foosha; rather, they take such a liking to your little village that they decide to stay for a while, to rest before resuming their travels. The villagers quickly grow fond of them, and soon Shanks and his crew become part of your community, as if those men hailing from the four corners of the world had always been there. You are, for obvious reasons, one of the first they come to know, and you learn to appreciate their company... especially the captain's.

🏴‍☠️ Once he and his men no longer need your assistance as doctor, you would have no reason to seek Shanks' company, nor he yours; still, you end up meeting every day or almost, all of it because of (or thanks to, you'll think back later) Luffy. Becoming a pirate has always been your young friend's dream and aspiration, and predictably Shanks, an expert captain and famous corsair, quickly becomes his idol; he follows him around, hanging off his words, begging to know about their travels and adventures, which Shanks is always happy to. Soon your young friend become a sort of mascotte for the pirate crew, a younger brother they all like and are happy to entertain.

🏴‍☠️ You are in the habit of going to the Partys every night, both to relax after work for a drink and spend some time with Luffy, and the pirates have likewise selected the bar as their favourite meeting point, which means that without either of you realizing (or wanting, which doesn't mean you regret it, or even try to avoid it) you and Shanks quickly become acquainted well beyond the simple relationship between a doctor and an one-time patient.

🏴‍☠️ The first opportunity you have to really bond happens during your village's yearly festival: there is music, food, dancing, even a firework display, and the pirates are obviously happy to join the celebration. You are sitting alone in front of a bonfire, having gotten momentarily separated from your friends, looking at the couples dancing as you vaguely reflect on your duties for tomorrow, when suddenly Shanks appears next to you. "You don't like dancing?" he inquires after you have greeted each other, as he slides on the bench next to you, a jug in his hands; you shrug, admitting that you actually do, but you haven't been invited by any of the men present. "Oh! Then they don't know what they're missing." Shanks seriously comments; he drinks a sip from his drink, leaves it on the bench, stands, and offers you hid hand. "Shall we?" he asks. "There is no need, really! You don't have to..." you hurry to explain, and he determinedly shakes his head. "I know I don't have to; but believe it or not, I enjoy dancing, and I am told I am pretty good at it. Come on, it is a night of celebration; let's enjoy it."

🏴‍☠️ You could point out that from what you have seen the pirates don't need a special occasion to revel and have fun, but you gladly accept Shanks' hand and let him lead you to the improvised dancefloor in the village's square. Shanks takes one of your hands in his, gently rests the other on your hip, and a moment later you are moving together in time with the music, and Shanks had not lied, he is actually a very good dancer, and you can't help smiling as you follow his steps, noticing that the red of his hair is even brighter than usual thanks to the light of the bonfire, and his smile brighter still. In the end, the rhythm changes to a slow dance, and Shanks gently circle your waist with an arm, just like all the men around you are doing with their partners. "Is this... all right?" he asks, suddenly uncertain, and you nod, intimately surprised of how all right it is, as you silently rest both of your arms on his shoulders, your hands overlapping behind his head. Another smile passes between you, a smaller, more intimate one; you suddenly feel shy, and giddy, and you wish this moment would never end.

🏴‍☠️ Unfortunately it does, in the end, when Shanks' men reclaim his help for a prank they are pulling; he then takes your hand and kisses the back. "The men of the village don't know what they are missing, you are a very good dancer." he says, and then the other drag him away, and you remain there, suddenly alone, and wondering why you feel so warm in the face, while the party goes on around you. Sleep eludes you that night, and when you finally dream, it is of him, still unsure whether what you are feeling is simply due to the moment of intimacy you shared during your dance... or this is something more lasting, and deep.

🏴‍☠️ You are still thinking about it that night, as you nurse your usual drink at the Partys, so lost in your thoughts Makino asks if you are all right. Before you can answer, "Is this seat taken?" someone asks pointing to the stool next to yours; it is Shanks, smiling at you, and you smile back as you nod, and he asks Makino for some dinner, his leg brushing against yours under the counter as he sits. Once more, you are quietly enjoying each other's company; as he eats, Shanks look at you out of the corner of his eye, and when your gazes meet and you realize, he smiles, not exactly unabashed but still not shy, open in his interest, and it is not the first time a man looks at you, but still, you feel yourself blushing... and, you discover, it is not an unpleasant sensation. Not at all. He asks about your job, and you reciprocate inquiring about a few places he and his crew have visited, and that you have always dreamed of seeing, even though you have never left Dawn Island, and have lived in the village your whole life. You doubt anything you can have to say could be of interest for Shanks, but he seems sincerely taken by your conversation... until his leg touches yours under the counter once more, this time not by accident, and you feel all the blood, and the warmth, of your body rush to your face.

🏴‍☠️ "I have made you uncomfortable. I am sorry." Shanks says after a moment, misinterpreting your silence for discomfort, and you quickly shake your head; you can see Luffy approaching on the street behind him, ready to demand his idol's complete attention, and you hurry to take advantage of the little time you have left. "Not at all. I... I am glad we had a chance to talk. I like it. I... I like talking to you." "And I like talking to you, (name). Really. You are... a really good person."

🏴‍☠️ After a while you decide it is time to go home. "See you tomorrow, Makino." you say as you take your bag and stand, and in a moment, Shanks has done the same. "I'll walk you home." he proposes, more as a request than as an order, and you are suddenly a young girl again, because your heart skips a beat. "But Luffy..." "Luffy is with the others, they can take care of them for a few minutes; there'll be no problem... unless you'd rather go alone, that is."

🏴‍☠️ Two minutes later you are walking side by side along the village's main street; you have slipped your arm under Shanks', his happy smile making you unconcerned about the gossip that will probably spread in the village as soon as someone sees the two of you together. You don't talk much, still enjoying each other's company, but Shanks uses his free arm to return the greeting of a few people who cross your path. "I love this place." he says after a while "The people here are so friendly and kind, I feel I could stay here forever."

🏴‍☠️ Usually a compliment paid to your village would please you; still, those kind words feel like someone had spilled a bucket of cold water on your head. "But you will not, right?" you realize, thinking out loud "You are pirates, the Sea is your home, and a stay in a town or village a simple vacation. You have been here for about two months; you'll probably leave soon, right?"

🏴‍☠️ Shanks' silence, and the touch of guilt in his dark eyes, is answer enough; he tries to meet your gaze, but you avoid him, suddenly feeling the stupidest, naivest woman of the East Sea. After a minute spent looking at your feet you hear Shanks softly calling your name. "I'm fine, don't worry..." "No, I mean... I think we're here, aren't we?" he asks, and your embarrassment deepens when you realize that you had indeed reached your house, and were it not for him you would have walked past it, and kept going until you crossed the whole village. "I'm sorry, I... I am so dumb..." you mumble as you begin searching for the keys in your bag.

🏴‍☠️ Shanks remains silent until he sees you open the door; he is serious, more serious than you've ever seen him, but his eyes are full of sadness. "I am sorry." you repeat, not quite sure what you're apologizing for, and he shakes his head. "I should be the one apologizing." he gently says; you're standing on the doorway, face to face, and you're torn between the impulse of closing the door, sparing yourself another moment of pain... and the desire to take advantage of the little time you have left, and invite Shanks in. You know he'll not decline (... right?), and it'll probably make it harder to say goodbye when he and his men will leave, and you're usually not one to let your feeling dictate your actions, but...

🏴‍☠️ "I better go." Shanks says, sparing you the need to decide, and for a terrible moment you think he means he's leaving Foosha right now, but he simply takes a step back, a sweet and concerned smile on his handsome face. "I am a pirate." he gently says "This is the life I have chosen, and... I will keep living it until there is life left in my body. I am not saying it is always easy, nor that I have never been tempted, but I could never live on land, no matter how... how good the company would be." "I would never ask you to." you assure him; the simple idea of a man who has probably lived a pirate life since he was a boy and has become one of the most notorious captains in the Four Seas, leaving everything behind for you, after having known you for two months, is risible, of course, but still, why can't you help feeling the tiniest bit disappointed? "Your men need you, and being a pirate is in your soul. You could never be happy otherwise, and... I want you to be happy, Shanks."

🏴‍☠️ There is nothing else to say, and after a quiet goodbye Shanks depart, and you remain looking at him through your window as you mentally chastise yourself, because how could you be so stupid to catch feelings for a man who you'll never have? You have only known each other for a few weeks, and the sooner he leaves the sooner your heart will begin healing, but you already fear you will never forget Shanks, not even in a hundred years.

🏴‍☠️ You begin avoiding him as much as you can, which means mainly avoiding the harbour and the Partys (you tell Makino this is a particularly busy period for your practice, not wanting her to think it is because of her; she looks at you, clearly unconvinced, but accepts your explaination) and hoping whatever feeling you have developed will soon start dissipate, like crushes often do, until... until one day Luffy shows up at your home, crying and more upset than you've ever seen him. "It's not me; it's Shanks." he says when you, terrified, start checking him for wounds or injuries "You need to come now, (name), he... he..."

🏴‍☠️ He wouldn't have looked for you if the patient were beyond helping, but Luffy is too upset to explain what exactly has happened to the captain, which can only increase the terror in your heart; you run to the harbour as quickly as your legs can carry you, and when you reach his cabin on the ship, Shanks, lying on his cot and surrounded by his closest friends, smiles, clearly pained but happy to see you. "Hey, here's my favourite dance partner." he says "I am fine, don't worry..." He clearly isn't, and your legs amost collapse under you when you see what has happened to his left arm; you are able to remain calm and focused as you clean the wound to avoid infection and then bandage it, while Shanks looks silently on, his eyes full of warmth and pain, not necessarily for himself.

🏴‍☠️ "What has happened to you?" you ask in the end, sitting on a stool Luffy has brought you before leaving with the others; Shanks quietly answers telling you all about the child's kidnapping, him intervening and having to fight the Sea King that inhabits the waters around the island, and this is when you start crying, overwhelmed by the courage and generosity of the man in front of you, who has paid such a terrible price for it. What will he do now? You know how tenacious and strong he is, but will he be able to fight and lead his men without an arm? You have already treated this sort of wound, and you know it might keep paining him for the rest of his days; what if an enemy takes advantage of his weakness and he can't defend himself...?

🏴‍☠️ "I am all right." he gently says as he uses the hem of his cape to dry your tears, and you feel more guilty than ever, because he has just gone through a terrible trauma, and still he is able and willing to comfort you "Truly; Luffy is safe and this is what matters. It is just an arm, I have a spare one to use..." "How can you joke about it?" you ask, crying and laughing at the same time, and then you have thrown your arms around his neck, sobbing and hating how useless you feel, and Shanks holds you tight with his arm around your waist and his cheek against your shoulder, feeling your very presence more soothing and healing than any opiate or medicine he could have taken. "It is so good to see you again." he whispers; you can both feel your hearts beating as one, a sensation whose beauty and sweetness you cannot describe in words "I know you've avoiding me. No, no, it's ok; I know why you did it, and it's probably for the best, even though I have missed you..."

🏴‍☠️ You don't answer, quietly enjoying the peace and comfort Shanks' presence always brings you despite the heartbreak; there must be dozens of men on the ship around you, but you are alone in the tiny, sparsely furnished cabin, enjoying a fleeting, precious moment of intimacy. In the end you turn your face to meet Shanks' gaze, and you do not vocalize your feelings, but he understands them all the same, and a moment later your mouths meet in the sweetest, most intense kiss of your life. Shanks moans, his lips avidly caressing yours, and a moment later you are running your fingers through his hair, and you want him so much your heart is about to burst.

🏴‍☠️ When you finally part, five minutes later, neither of you is smiling. "I don't want to cause you pain." Shanks says, deadly serious; his hand is holding yours, his thumb caressing the back "We are meant to leave in three weeks..." "And you will; I will not beg you to stay, and I know that saying goodbye will be harrowing; but it'll be anyway, since I can't stop thinking about you." you admit with a sigh "I want to be with you, Shanks, be it for a day or a year; if, ehm, you want to be with me, and I know you are in pain, and obviously as a doctor I am not supposed to date my patients..."

🏴‍☠️ You are blabbering, as usual when you are nervous, but Shanks is quick to put an end to your speech kissing you soundly once more, holding you as if he never wants you to go. You lie down on the cot together, your legs entwined and your bodies pressing against each other, but after a while you are forced to stop and change position, because a moan of pain warns you your side was pressing agains the stump of his arm. "My poor darling, I am so sorry for what has happened to you." you murmur, but Shanks smiles, and gently kisses your forehead. "Luffy is safe and you are here next to me." he says "As far as I'm concerned, it was a small price to pay."

🏴‍☠️ You and Shanks are determined to make the most of the little time you have, so you are nearly inseparable for the next three weeks. You don't want to neglect your work, since your patients need you, but if you are not at your practice, you are with him. You sleep in his cabin (the cot is tiny, but squeezing together is not a problem for the two of you) make sure his wound is clean and neatly bandaged, and walk with him on your favourite beach, enjoying his quiet, solid presence next to you, his beautiful smile, and the way he has to circle your waist and lead you in a dance when you least expect it, making you laugh. Luffy reacts with disgust the first time he sees the two of you sharing a kiss, but he is happy for you, secretly thinking you and Shank deserve each other - and for the future young King of the Pirates there is no better compliment than this.

🏴‍☠️ Before you become intimate for the first time, Shanks asks you to make sure you don't get pregnant, and you comply, privately thinking you wouldn't mind having his baby, were it not unfair to both to keep father and child separated, quite the opposite, because a child with his smile and eyes would alleviate the solitude you know you will suffer once he will have left. You feed him food with your fork at the Partys, fall asleep lulled by his heartbeat, and sit next to him at the end of the wharf, your legs dangling and his arm around your shoulders as you look at the sun setting behind the horizon, and wish your time together would never end.

🏴‍☠️ It does, unfortunately, and on one clear, warm morning, Shanks and his crew prepare to leave the village. Luffy is inconsolable, even after Shanks gifts him his most precious possession, his straw hat, with the promise to ask for it back when the young boy has become a great pirate; you, on the other hand, feel pain and heartbreak beyond words and tears. The two of you have spent the whole night making love, with an intensity and an abandon you had never experienced before, and he looked as grief-stricken as you feel while he whispered his feelings in your ear and promised he would never forget you, but still, your heart is full of doubts and anguish while you walk to the harbour to say goodbye to the man who has, in true pirate fashion, stolen your heart. He lied about your affection to comfort you, an unpleasant voice whispers in your ear. He has a woman like you in every town and port his ship visits. He will forget your face in less than a month and in two he won't remember ever meeting you. Worst of all, he will die soon, battling another pirate crew or drowning, and you'll cry for him for the rest of your days...

🏴‍☠️ A few of the pirates you have gotten to know in the last months say goodbye to you and you wish them good luck, having gotten sincerely fond of those brave, freedom-hungry men who have chosen such a dangerous way of life and can face any enemy with a smile on their faces. In the end, you and Shanks find yourselves face to face, and "Please, do not cry; I am already desperate, your tears would kill me." he softly begs as the tips of his fingers caress your cheek, and you shake your head: you can't help being sad, you admit, but you knew this moment would come and do not regret being with him, even just for a few short days, and no matter what the future has in store, you will keep him in your heart forever. "Just promise me one thing: find a doctor for your crew, as soon as possible; I can't stand the idea of you and your men travelling without someone taking care of your health." you ask him, and for the first time since you met, you see Shanks hesitating. "I will, I promise; but..." "But?"

🏴‍☠️ "But, I was hoping I wouldn't need to look for a doctor; that you would join my crew and fill the spot. I... I know it would change your life, and I won't lie to you, it is a dangerous life, especially for a person who is not a trained fighter and even if we would all do everything we can to ensure your safety. We have known each other only for a few months, but it would make me the happiest man on the Sea if... oh, forget it, it was a stupid idea, how egotistical can I be asking you to leave everything you know and love for..." He is mumbling, and looking at him in that moment, unsure but hopeful, all your doubts and fears disappear like snow at the first light of spring; he cares about you, he really does, much more than simply because of the advantges your presence on the ship would provide the crew, but since he could never renounce his way of life to be with you, he feels unworthy of asking you to do the same. How could you ever doubt him?, you wonder while tears of happiness begin falling from your eyes... and how can you say no to him?

🏴‍☠️ "Oh, Shanks... nothing would make me happier; I'd leave in a minute if it meant being with you." you sincerely answer "But I can't. I am the only doctor in the village, and it would take months to request the capital to send another one here; I can't in all conscience leave my patients without anyone caring for their health. And there is Luffy; he needs me, at least for a few more years. Believe me, I... I am not simply looking for an excuse; I really want to be with you, but..." "I know." he interrupts you, and the reassurance about your feelings for him doesn't make your refusal easier to accept. "I know what sort of person you are, how much you care for the people of the village; I wouldn't expect any less from you." You sigh, wishing for a moment you could actually disavow your professional oath and forsake the people you have promised to take care of, and follow the man you love towards whatever fate awaits him. You are doing the right thing, professionally and towards a boy you love as if he were a child of your body, but the prospect of losing Shanks forever makes you feel as if you were renouncing a part of you...

🏴‍☠️ "You know, it... It doesn't have to be forever." you tentatively add wringing your hands, a moment after one of the men has called to Shanks to tell him they're ready to go "It will be a few years, but one day Luffy will be old enough to take care of himself, and in the meantime I could instruct a new doctor for the village or ask for one to be sent here. And then, once I'm no longer needed... I-I could come. To you. I mean, I wouldn't ask you to wait for me, if you... met someone else, or if simply your feelings changed..." "I will." Shanks immediately answers; he's looking at you as if no treasure he could ever find would compare "I'll wait for you, and you'll wait for me, and once Luffy no longer needs you, I'll come back for you. And from then on, no one and nothing will ever separate us."

🏴‍☠️ The promise is sealed with a kiss, that you and your lover share on the harbour in full view of the crew and the villagers, and there is no need to say you love each other, because a look of Shanks's warm eyes is enough to reassure you and he can read the same feelings in your gaze. A few minutes, and you are looking at the ship disappearing into the horizon with Luffy by your side, not bothering to hold back your tears while a stubborn, fierce hope fills your heart.

🏴‍☠️ Ten years pass, slowly, often excruciatingly so, but at least you can keep busy instead of spending days and nights crying over your lost love. You focus on your work, finding gratification and sincere joy in taking care of the people you grew up and live with, and helping them when they are sick or wounded; five years after you said good-bye to your lover, two girls who have just completed their studies at the village's school ask for permission to follow you in your work, and you gladly take them on as apprentices. You write to the libraries of the larger towns in the island, asking for books written by ship doctors or that would help you specialize for your future responsabilities as a member of Shanks' crew, and follow his adventures in the papers.

🏴‍☠️ The news of your and Shanks' promise has somehow spread to the village, and save for Luffy and a few of your friends, most of the people think you are wasting the best years of your life, and should have never believed in him. "He said that to make fun of you, or at least to comfort you and make you think he actually cared." they say "He's a pirate, (name), he must have a woman like you in every harbour. By now he has probably been with ten others." "Even if he actually cared, ten years is ages to spend waiting for someone! What if he dies in the meantime? And even if he returned, are you sure you want to live such a dangerous life?" "Don't you want to marry and raise a family? A pirate ship is no place for a child, and in ten years you'll be past marriageable age; there are many good men here in the village..."

🏴‍☠️ They mean well (most of them do, at least), but you don't listen, and while you miss Shanks more and more every day and sometimes even wish you had forgotten duties and responsibilities to follow your heart, because whatever length of time destiny will allow you to spend together you will have still wasted ten years, you never waver, sure in your heart you have made the right choice, and you don't care how naive and idealistic you would sound if you said it out loud, you know he's also thinking of you, saddened by the distance between you and nonetheless carrying on, knowing nothing and no one will stop you from being together once the time is right. The idea of becoming a pirate is both terrifying and exciting, and had you not met Shanks, you would have been happy to stay in Foosha forever, single or otherwise; but now you know he is your destiny, and you will share whatever future and dream he will pursue, because you know he will always be worthy of your devotion.

🏴‍☠️ On the other hand, you do miss him. Fiercely, desperately, a feeling which is hunger (why is his warm body not flushed against yours when you wake up? Where are the avid and sloppy kisses you had already become dependent on, and that now you cannot do without?) and jealousy (is another woman flirting with him in this very moment? Touching him, smiling at him, catching his attention even if just for a moment? And how can you discover her name and city or village of residence, to go and teach her not to touch what belongs to others?) and protectivity (what if something happens to him and you're not there to take care of him? Has he found a doctor like he had promised you?) all in one, that becomes a permanent presence inside you, from the moment you wake to when you go to sleep... and sometimes even longer. His smile, his kind and determined voice, the subtle energy and power his very figure emanated... you even miss his cold feet, and that affectionate but vaguely annoying way that he had to pull your hair to get your attention. Deep in your heart, you know he is also thinking about you, that he remembers his promise and is honoring it, no matter how difficult it might be; but however pleasant and productive your days are, no matter the joy you feel in being in the company of your friends and in successfully treating your patients, his absence is still a weight in your heart, a dull but persistent pain that before long becomes as familiar as the colour of your hair of the medical coat you wear at your practice. You have not stopped eating (that would be bad for your health!) and you are not going to wither away like the protagonist of a romantic novel whose sweetheart has deserted her, but you miss him, deeply and desperately, and every time your eyes fall on a red-haired head, your heart skips a beat...

🏴‍☠️ Luffy is, as you expected, the only one who fully believes in Shanks' promise to you, just like you trust the pact the captain and the child have made about Luffy's future and the straw hat; you never told him he, and his well-being, is one of the two main reasons why you elected to stay in Foosha, because a child doesn't deserve to feel guilty for the choices of an adult, but Luffy is much smarter and more perceptive than he is given credit for, and in the end it is you who, exactly ten years after saying goodbye to Shanks, he tells he is finally ready to leave the village to pursue his dream... and you need to do the same. "I know you have stayed here to look after me, (name); and I appreciate it a lot. But now I can take care of myself, and I'm leaving to find a crew and become King of the Pirates. You have to go too; don't you want to see him, after all these years? I'm sure he missed you a lot too; find him, become his doctor, and say hi for me."

🏴‍☠️ You do. After an heart-felt goodbye ("Don't lose the first-aid kit I gave you! And please, Luffy, I don't need you to remind you to eat, but don't get cold!") you prepare a small luggage and your doctor's bag, entrust your practice to your apprentices (who by now are more than up to the task, and who you know will take as good care of the villagers as you did), and your home's keys to Makino, and leave. Part of you still can't believe you are actually doing it, that you are leaving everything you knew and loved behind, the village you were born in and all your things at home, to pursue a life you are probably unprepared for and that could cost you your life, but you don't care, and whatever happens, you know you won't regret the choice you have made... the choice to follow your heart.

🏴‍☠️ The only, but not negligible, difficulty you have to face is that you have absolutely no idea where Shanks is. Your deal was that he would come back to get you in Foosha once Luffy no longer needed you, but since you have no way to contact him, you can't ask him to meet; the most reasonable choice would be to wait for your young friend to make a name for himsef, either earning a bounty of fighting the Marines, so that news of him having left the village and become a pirate would reach Shanks, who would then know it is time to make good on his promise, but not knowing how long it would take, and determined not to waste any more time, you decide to take the matter in your own hands and go to Shanks yourself... even though you have no idea how, and where to find him. According to a by now weeks old newspaper article you had read, your lover has been seen in a certain island across the East Sea, so you buy a ticket to reach it, hoping to still find him there, or at least that he had left word of where he would head next.

🏴‍☠️ Ten days of navigation later, the ship has to make a stop along the way to resupply; you are walking down the dock as you wait for the captain to call the passengers back on board, trembling with excitation and hoping you and your lover will soon be reunited, when your eyes casually fall on a man walking down the pier, unhurriedly but with the sort of determination that leads anyone who crosses his path to give way. You have never met him, but your lover has told you about him, and you would have recognized him in any case, because Dracule Mihawk, the greatest swordman in the world, is not the kind of man you can mistake for someone else... if only for the enormous sword, as long as he is tall, hanging from his shoulders. Normally you would have no reason to approach him, not last because Mihawk doesn't seem the sort of man who tolerates being bothered without a good reason, but Shanks has told you the two of them know each other of old and are, if not exactly friends, at least good acquaintances; could the swordsman know where your lover is? Could he tell you, if you tell him you are also a friend of Shanks and he is supposed to meet you anyway?

🏴‍☠️ To approach him requires all your courage, since Mihawk, while perhaps not unnecessarily violent like some other pirates, is the most intimidating person you have ever met; but finding Shanks is more important than anything else in the world, and if you are to become part of the crew of an important pirate like your lover, you need to find your courage and learn to face danger with your head held high. So you reach him, and ask him if he knows where your lover is. "I mean him no ill will; actually... we are also good friends. I... I come from Foosha Village, my name is (name)..." you begin, stammering under the piercing gaze of the swordsman when suddenly he interrupts you. "You are the doctor, I gather. The one who remained at the village to care for the boy who had eaten the Devil Fruit." "Y-yes! It is me!" you exclaim, surprised and immediately flattered; Shanks has told him about you! "We had agreed to meet once Luffy had... well, I am looking for him now, and I am heading to the island where he was last seen but since you have known him for a long time, I thought that perhaps you know where he is..."

🏴‍☠️ Mihawk, apparently indifferent to your blabbering (he's probably used to people being nervous in his presence, and how could they not?) points out he is not Shanks' father nor a member of his crew, and as a consequence he is not in the habit of keeping an eye on his movements. "But coincidentally, I know where he is; in fact, I had in mind to meet him myself." he adds, before mentioning a semi-deserted island much closer to where you are than the one your ship is heading to "If you leave now, you can reach him before nightfall." It is the best news you have ever received, and you thank the swordsman profusely, forgetting for a moment how intimidated you are by his very presence. Mihawk simply nods, and then offers you a folded piece of paper. "If you meet Shanks, will you give him this for me? I think you know the person it concerns." he asks, and your eyes open wide as you open the bounty poster... Luffy's bounty poster! You haven't had access to newspapers during your journey, but it seems that in the few short weeks since he left the village your young friend has already made a name for himself, earning the attention of the Marines and, as a consequence, a remarkable bounty; you wouldn't have expected anything less from him, you think, your heart full of pride and happiness. "I thought Shanks would appreciate seeing it, given his interest in the boy." Mihawk points out "Will you give it to him, when you meet him?"

🏴‍☠️ Of course you promise, happy to save Mihawk the effort of going himself after the precious informations he gave you. Your heart pounding, you are quick to go back to the ship about to depart, retrieve your belongings and run, quickly telling the captain you have changed your mind and won't be continuing your trip with them. The smaller island you have to reach is very close but, you discover after asking around, there are no regular vessels that reach it, given that it is almost uninhabited (which is probably why Shanks and his men have chosen it as their base) but you are able to find a fisherman willing to get you there. And so, soon after dark, you finally lay foot on the same ground your lover is walking on, closer than you have ever been in ten long years...

🏴‍☠️ ... and you are immediately surrounded, a number of heavily armed pirates pointing their weapons at you, ready to shoot at the first sign of danger. "Don't, please! I mean you no harm, I am a friend!" you hurry to explain, recognizing a few of the pirates who were already in Shanks' crew when you first met and hoping they also remember you "I am (name), the doctor of Foosha village. Many of you were sick with red fever and I was able to help you, remember? I need to speak with Shanks, he's waiting for me... sort of..." Fortunately it works, and many of the pirates you had met ten years ago welcome you as a friend, still remembering what you had done for them, and lead you to their beach camp, where Shanks and the others are resting after an impromptu party.

🏴‍☠️ Ten years have passed, and still it takes you less than a moment to recognize the man sprawled in a hammock, even before the red hair and the lack of his left arm are visible; the handle of your bag slips from your fingers and falls on the sand. You must look horrible, you suddenly realize, tired after a long day of travel and with your hair tussled by the wind, and this is the sort of situation you would like to look your best for, but you don't care, you care about nothing in the world but the man in front of you, still lost in his hangover dreams.

🏴‍☠️ "Shanks." you murmur, theoretically too low for him to hear, but he does, even before his men can wake him up and tell him he has a visitor. He lifts his head, gingerly standing from the hammock, and in the darkness descending on the beach, he sees you, and for a full minute that's all he seems able to do, looking as if he can't believe his own eyes. "... (name?)" "H-hi." you stammer, suddenly shy and even scared; you have trusted him, and the bond between you, for ten years, confiding that what you shared could resist the test of time and that your lover would keep you in his heart like you have kept him in yours, but suddenly, now that the moment of truth has finally come, all your certainties seem to desert you. What if the people at the village were right, and you have wasted ten years of your life for a naive, romantic dream? What if Shanks has forgotten the promise you two shared? Even worse, what if he has decided to renounce it after time and distance ended up attenuating his feelings for you? You could go back to Foosha and resume your old life as village doctor, a good and productive life, but you know you will never survive the disappointment... "It's... it's good to see you. I came, ehm, I don't know if you remember what we had agreed to do once Luffy..."

🏴‍☠️ "You are here." Shanks murmurs, as if thinking out loud; suddenly sober, he stands and walks up to you, still disbelieving and at the same time delighted beyond words "I can't... you came. You actually came." "Yes, I did. I know we had agreed you would return to the village, but I have trained two new doctors, and Luffy has left to become a pirate, and you wouldn't believe it, he has already..." He stops you, not in words but with a hug; Shanks' arm has circled your waist, pressing your body against his, and it is all so familiar, from his scent to his touch to the sound of his voice, that suddenly you can't control yourself anymore, and you start crying, out of joy, out of relief, out of the simple and visceral pleasure of being with him, once more, with your captain, your lover, your Shanks. "I have missed you so much." you murmur, and his delighted laugh is music to your ears; Shanks presses his forehead against yours, still holding you close, while his crew rejoices all around.

🏴‍☠️ You walk together on the beach for a while, away from the camp, silently enjoying each other's company, until Shanks asks you about Luffy, who must have left the village since you did too, and you show him the bounty poster, that your lover observes with delighted pride. "I can't believe you asked Mihawk for directions..." "Well, I am not saying I wasn't trembling with fear, but I wanted to find you, no matter what. I... I have never stopped thinking about you, you know? And please, tell me you haven't spent ten years journeying through the Seas without a doctor." Shanks smiles, and explains that they actually found a doctor soon after departing Foosha, a capable man who took good care of the crew for ten years... and who just two weeks ago decided to leave, having met a special someone on an island they had docked at, leaving the position vacant. "I let him go, because I have never forced anyone to be part of my crew, but I had no idea you would come... Curious, isn't it? As if destiny had decided it was time for us to meet again, as we had promised."

🏴‍☠️ You shrug, mostly uninterested in assigning responsibility: whether it was destiny, or simple coincidence, you are together once again, not because of a concatenation of events but as a result of your own choices. You did what you thought was right, and now you are free, and determined, to follow your heart. "I came to join your crew, as you had asked me to do ten years ago." you tell Shanks, turning to face him; those words do not need to be said, but you want him to hear... to know that for a whole decade, you have never let him go in your heart "To be your doctor, and your lover, if you'll be mine. What do you say?" Shanks doesn't immediately answer; his hand touches your cheek, gingerly, as if he feared you were just a mirage about to disappear if he only looked too closely. "How beautiful you are." he murmurs "My (name)... ten years ago, I told you meeting you was a blessing from the Gods; I didn't know how right I was. I have never stopped thinking about you; I was sure Luffy would leave the village soon, since he is almost a grown man, and I was ready to come to you as soon as I was certain he didn't need you anymore. But now you're here, and I'm never letting you out of my sight."

🏴‍☠️ It is a promise and a declaration in one, nothing less than what you expected and the only thing you would have accepted. Shanks' hand finds yours; the night enveloping the beach hides a kiss that tastes like homecoming and cheap rhum, your lover's body welcoming you in the warmth and security of his embrace. From now on, your life together begins; from now on, you're part of the Red-Haired Pirate crew.

#One Piece #One Piece live action #OPLA #Shanks #Red-Haired Shanks #Red-Haired Shanks x reader #Shanks x reader #Peter Gadiot #Bellona's stuff

[mina-saiyat]

Crystal Snow (Mina)

A/N: Again, happy new year! Sorry the story is coming out a little bit late, but there it is. An idol OC with the Mina, she's not the secretary anymore. There should be a smut part, actually, but I don't really have the mood to write it, so I just keep the fluff part. Anyway, thanks for your support, and please enjoy.

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Like a wee, crystal star

I should drift, I should blow

  Near, more near,

  To my dear

Where he comes through the snow.

“Snow Song” by Sara Teasdale

11 July, 2019 JYPE Building

Hello, this is JYPE.

This is an announcement regarding the status of Mina’s health.

Mina is currently struggling with sudden extreme anxiety and insecurity towards performing on stage. No exact diagnosis has been identified yet, and we are consulting with several medical professionals to verify the cause in detail.

After extensive discussion with Mina and members of TWICE, we have decided that Mina’s current condition requires additional treatment, professional measures, and sufficient rest. Along with this decision, Mina will not be attending the following schedule:

– TWICE World Tour 2019 “TWICELIGHTS”

Health of our artist is our top priority, so we will do everything possible to provide the best possible measures including medical treatment and sufficient rest for Mina’s recovery.

We ask for the sincere support of fans so that Mina can recover soon.

Thank you.

‘You promised me you won’t let Mina gets hurt! What are you doing?’ Your roar occupies the room, the others try their best to keep their breath as quiet as they can, not wanting to ignite you further.

‘I know, Y/N. But Twice is still growing rapidly, we cannot stop at this moment. Other girl groups are chasing their progress real quick, you know how success Blackpink and IZ*ONE this year. I am really sorry about Mina, but we just… I hope you can understand, Y/N.’ The tone of the CEO seems sad, but you couldn’t feel any on her face.

‘No matter what, you should not make any of the artist overwork or get any injury. Is this what you call JYP Nation? A family? This definitely not a part of the core value of PD nim’s idea.’

‘Park Jin Young xi is not responsible for the management of the artist anymore, the core value he has maybe different with us.’ The CEO still answers in a tone that he seems really not care.

You cannot hold your manner anymore, you punch the desk loudly, ‘If you think we are not important, then I will not renew the contract with JYP after my contract expire next year, I can do nothing but this to protect me and Mina.’

‘Did you consider your members? Did you consider Mina’s career?’ The CEO does not take your threaten seriously. ‘Maybe you should calm down first before we discuss again, we will announce you could not attend any schedule by this year. You should take some rest together with Mina.’

Days after Days, you are forced to see other members to participate the schedule, while you can do nothing. You could only spend more time with Mina, either at your home, or visiting the doctor with her. Mina is recovering really good under the accompany of you, she starts to smile again, she is no longer panic when she is in the crowd. Although she still don’t know what you have sacrificed for her.

You have tried to have a date with her outside, but you found that even both of you are covered in mask and caps, it’s too risky if anyone find out that the members of the National Boy group and Girl group are secretly dating, the massive noises are going to torn Mina that have not been fully recovered from the depression. However, at the new year’s eve, you still decided to bring Mina go out as you know she has dreamt for the new year’s float parade for long time, she is just unavailable due to the tight year end schedule.

The snow has been continuously for 3 days, the whole Seoul are covered in white, you believe that you and Mina will not be spotted on street easily as usual. You turn your head from the window back to the house, Mina has finished the LEGO car you bought her.

‘Dang, Dang.’ Mina sits next to you naturally, showing the LEGO she has just finished. ‘I finished it before we going out, can I get a new one?’ The way she speaks just like a kid asking for rewards from her parents.

‘Yeah, how would I reject Minari, right? Let’s get you a new year gift then.’ You pull her in your arms and kiss her suddenly, you hug her tightly despite she keeps hammering you chest, showing her protest. ‘ I wanna have my new year’s gift first, can I’ Her bouncing chests show that she is still recovering from the fierce kiss. ‘Yah… why are you so naughty…’

‘I don’t know why I am so naughty when I am with you. Perhaps it’s because of love.’ You caress her face lightly, feeling her smile when she hears your confess. ‘You should get some rest before the parade, you must be tired from playing LEGO.’ You put Mina back on the couch and lay your head on her thigh. The silence in the house does not make you feel awkward, instead you are feeling safe than anytime when Mina is next to you. The sleepiness slowly take over your body from the cold, you slowly close your eyes and fall asleep.

You don’t know how long you have been slept, you wake up on her legs again. Mina seems does not notice your awake yet as the book of poems she reads is covering at your face. The smell of the cool cedar aroma surrounding you, all you can hear is the grinding sound of Mina turning the pages of the book from time to time, you just feel every minute is still and peaceful, you close your eyes again.

Mina finally stops after finishing the 11th chapter, she moves her neck to relax a little bit, lower her head to take a peek of you. When she realized you have woke up, she closes the book softly, and look at your features gently.

‘So handsome…’ She told herself, no matter how many times she watches you, her Y/N is still handsome.

‘Mina?’ Not hearing the sounds of turning pages, you open your eyes, then you meet her gentle sight with her smile.

‘I am here.’

‘Why did you stop?’ You return her with a smile.

‘I miss you.’

You are shocked by her direct confession. ‘I didn’t know Minari is good at flirting.’ Seeing she does not refute, you take her hand with a smile and kiss the back of her hand. ‘Which chapters are you watching?’

‘The 11th, Sara Teassdale, “Snow Song”’

‘Can you read it for me?’

‘Sure.’ Mina nods as she smiles, her slim and long fingers open the book again.

“Fairy snow, fairy snow,

Blowing, blowing everywhere.”

“Would that I

Too, could fly

Lightly, lightly through the air.”

Mina studying a poem is always unexpectedly charming, her childhood in America allows her to have good understanding of the American pronunciation, meanwhile her Japanese accent makes it looks cute.

“Like a wee, crystal star

I should drift, I should blow.”

“Near, more near,

To my dear

Where he comes through the snow.”

The snow outside the window is still blooming, and even the occasional whiz of the wind properly matches the situation expressed in the poem. You look at the movement of Mina’s pink lips, her beautiful voice gently entering your ears. You feel so blessed for what you are having right now.

The happiness makes your heart begin to pop, so finally when Mina finished, you get up and hook her neck. ‘Mina.’

‘Umm?’ She puts down the book.

‘We still have a few hours before the parade starts…’ You kiss Mina’s sideburns with a naughty smile. ‘How about we doing something else first?’

Mina only knows what you mean when she feels your hand sneak under her pajamas, the cool touch of your fingertip is like a stone thrown into a calm lake, after stirring up the water named desire, the ripples of soft and indestructible layers appear. Your tender kiss moving from her bridge of the nose down to her lips, Mina’s slender eyelashes uncontrollably quiver with her floating heart.

The air gradually become enchanting, Mina feels herself in a trance that she is farther and farther from the shore, but she is not afraid of it, just…

‘Not here.’ Mina whispers. She only has a moment of clarity after the long kiss is ended, she pushes you away lightly, turn around her head to catch her breath, her ears are notably red.

‘Where should we go then?’ You smirk.

Mina stands up silently, does not uncover your rhetorical spice. She holds your hand, fundus with a faint smile, struggled for a moment but still decide to follow your words. ‘Bedroom, our bed.’

Hearing her answer, you do not hesitate anymore, and directly hug her into your room...

You underestimate the magic of love, when you and Mina arrive the area of parade, it is approaching the end of the event already. You cannot see a single float on the street, although the crowd has not disbanded yet.

‘Sorry…’ You press the cap on your head, and shake Mina’s hand with regret.

‘Umm? Why sorry?’ Mina turns her head at you, asks curiously.

‘We miss this year’s parade because of me… We may not having holiday at next year.’

‘But because of you, every single day of this year I feel so happy.’ Mina interrupts your apology, but you know she is not lying, her smile cannot be covered by her mask. She pull down her mask a little bit to kiss your cheek, and then put her arm around you. ‘Are you hungry? Should we buy some food before returning home?’

‘Sure.’ You happily hook back her arm and walk towards the night market.

Both of you walking past the night market, the bags on your hands are becoming more and more, but you still cannot find the Taiyaki you are looking for. When you thought that you are going to be disappointed tonight, ‘There!’ Mina points to a red sign board at the end of the street, it’s a big Taiyaki sign that signaling they are selling the snack that you have searched for all night.

You take Mina’s hand, walking faster to the shop, but you were soon blocked by two girls standing in your way.

‘Hi! Sorry! Are you Y/N Oppa!?’ One of the girl ask.

‘You must be Y/n Oppa right? We are your fans! We love you very very much! Can we get your autograph?’ Another girl says.

‘Ummm… yeah, thank you for your support.’ You hesitantly look at Mina, you have no idea when she has let go of your hands and waiting aside of you, don’t wanna spotted out by your fans. Her thin feature looks weaker under the street light, you don’t know why you would feel sad suddenly.

You take the pen that your fan give you, wanting to finish the little autographing session as soon as possible, so you can bring Mina leaving here. However, right after you finished signing for that two fans, more fans arrived and soon you are surrounded. ‘Y/N Oppa! I love you so much!’

‘Thank you, thanks a lot for your support. I really gonna go now, happy new year and please keep supporting ADDiction next year.’ Until your hands start to feel tired, you finally decided to reject the newcomers, you give a bow and turn around to leave quickly.

‘Mina!’ You look around nervously, but you can’t find the figure of your love. You bite your lips regretfully, totally forgot your could contract her with your phone. You keep running on the road, shouting Mina’s name occasionally.

‘Perhaps Mina has returned to home already?’ You told yourself, not hesitating anymore and run to the direction of your home. Even the light of the Taiyaki sign is still shining brightly, all you want now is to catch Mina on her way.

You get closer and closer to the Taiyaki shop, you find a familiar figure coming out from the store. ‘Mina!’

Mina could hear your calling right after she leaves the store, she looks at the direction of the sound, all she see is you are flying to her. Mina feels this scene is kind of familiar, she moves her lips, just trying to ask you did anything just happened, the next second she already feels herself hugged in your arms tightly.

No one knows how long did you two hugging, the warm sensation of the embrace magnified her senses, she dazed for a second, finally understand why the scene right now is so familiar to her.

It' s the scene of the 11th poem. Should she do the same thing as the poem for next?

'Can I kiss you?’ Mina did not even wait for your answer, she grabs your face and kisses you with a smile. Mina’s kiss just like winter snow falling on shoulder, soft, cool and delicate. At the moment when the whole world is filled with snow, you suddenly recalled the 11th poem from this morning.

At the last day of 2019, you once again determined that, Mina will be the only snow for the rest of your life.

I should fly to my love

Like a flake in the storm,

I should die,

I should die,

On her lips that are warm.

#minasaiyatis #twice mina #twice imagines #twice fluff #mina fluff #twice

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [7] - Marigolds

A.N: Thank you so much for your amazing feedback and support my loves!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Thanks so much to @theskytraveler​ for helping me with the chapter!

Summary: Love can be cruel to heart.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms.

Word Count: 5300

Series Masterlist

Technically, you knew it was a bad idea to stay under the scorching sun for hours, working in your garden without a water bottle by your side or your hat on your head.

You knew that very well but in your defense, you hadn’t really noticed the time passing.

“Auntie, how much longer are you going to act like I’m about to say my last words?” you asked as she shushed you, tucking the corners of the heavy covers into the bed, almost trapping you there.

“I’m glad you find a near death experience amusing.”

“Near death exp—I stood up too fast and passed out for what, five seconds?”

Your maid wrung the cloth in ice cold water, then came to press it on your wrists, making you heave a sigh.

“Thank you Paula but it’s honestly not necessary-”

“Fainting is a serious issue that has a lot of people in its clutches Y/N,” your aunt said solemnly. “It’s no topic to be made light of.”

“I doubt it counts as fainting.”

“The doctor said it does,” she said and took another cloth to press it on your forehead, shaking her head. “Heat exhaustion, he said. We’re blessed that we didn’t lose you.”

“The doctor also said I would be alright in a couple of hours auntie,” you pointed out. “So before you call the priest here for my final confession—”

“Y/N!” she chided you, making you grin at her but before you could say anything, your uncle knocked on the doorframe as Teddy wheezed past him to throw himself into your arms.

“Teddy, careful dear,” your aunt said. “We don’t want to overexert your sister.”

He nodded shyly and looked up at you.

“Sorry. Are you better now?”

You pressed a kiss on his forehead and smiled at him.

“I’m absolutely fine,” you said. “I assure you. Were you worried?”

He chewed on his lip, nodding again as he played with your hair and you wrapped your arms around him.

“It was just too much sun, Teddy,” you said. “That’s it.”

“Do you need anything Clover?” your uncle asked and you shook your head.

“No I’m alright. Thank you uncle.”

“Howard,” your aunt said, putting her hands on her hips. “I think we should call the doctor again.”

“We should not,” you told her and your uncle repressed a chuckle.

“Well, considering you had a close encounter with Hades…”

“Not you too!”

“Who’s Hades?” Teddy mumbled and you grinned.

“Um, the doctor my sweet.”

“I took it upon me to tell your suitors you’re in no condition to accept any visits until further notice.”

Your head shot up and you cleared your throat.

“That’s a good idea, thank you,” you managed to say. “I still feel a bit faint to be honest.”

Your aunt gasped as Paula put the cloth in the water again, but you stopped her and winked at her, making her bite down a smile.

“See, I told you!” your aunt said. “Of course you cannot receive any suitors while you’re like this, and no attending balls until you’re in better health either, I will not hear it.”

“Oh no,” you deadpanned. “That’s so sad.”

“And no spending time in the garden either.”

“What?” you asked as your eyes widened. “Auntie!”

“And when it’s time, you will wear a hat and carry an umbrella with you,” she said, holding up a hand as you opened your mouth to argue. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I will tell the cook to change today’s menu, and get you as much fruit juice as possible.”

“But—” you started but she walked out of the room completely ignoring your protests. You leaned back with a sigh.

“She worries too much.”

“You know how she is when it comes to you and Teddy,” your uncle said and came to sit beside the bed. “Teddy, why don’t you let Paula take you to the kitchen? So that you can tell the cook to make that drink you like for you and Y/N.”

“That sounds like a good idea!” you said and Teddy shook his head, making you frown. “No?”

“No,” he muttered, still holding you tight and you exchanged glances with your uncle.

“Why not?” you asked. “You like chocolate milk. We can even put pieces of cookies into it the way you like.”

He shook his head again and frowned up at you.

“If you’re sick, I will stay here to protect you.”

You could swear your heart melted as a smile curled your lips, and you rubbed his back.

“And I’m sure you would do a wonderful job at that, but I’m not sick,” you said. “Do you remember how you scraped your knee the last summer and I was very worried but you were alright?”

He nodded.

“It’s just like that,” you said. “I will rest a little and I will be fine. But you know what would make me feel much better?”

“What?”

“Those figures you make for me from twigs.”

He gasped and sat up straight. “Really?”

“Yes,” you said. “Would you make one for me while I rest?”

He nodded fervently and kissed you on the cheek, then ran out of the room. Paula took a look at you.

“My lady, shall I keep an eye on him?”

“That would be wonderful, thank you,” you said and she walked out of the room. Your uncle gave you a smile and ruffled your hair, making you let out a small laugh.

“Are you sure you’re not dying?”

“Quite sure,” you said. “Do you think auntie will be alright though?”

“Not until she is convinced you rested enough,” your uncle said. “So, I wanted to ask you. I know I told your suitors you would not accept them at this time but do you want me to make any exceptions for any of them?”

You frowned. “Like who?”

“Like a certain artist if he visits?”

You rolled your eyes and leaned back in the bed, crossing your arms. “He’s not my suitor.”

“Do you wish him to be?”

You scoffed, making a face.

“I would never marry him,” you said. “It’s a good thing that he’s not courting me officially, saves both of us from wasting our time.”

He tilted his head. “Clover.”

“It’s just Lady Whistledown’s gossip.”

“Your aunt thinks you two have feelings for each other.”

“Benedict Bridgerton seems to have feelings for a lot of ladies in the ton, I wouldn’t assume it’s anything special for me.”

“And you?”

“I do have feelings for him,” you said, making him raise his brows. “Vexation is the first one that comes to mind. Ire too. While we’re at it, let’s also throw in some exasperation—”

“Alright,” he said with a chuckle and held up his hands in a mock of surrender. “And not an ounce of affection beneath all that?”

You pursed your lips, the sight of him at the greenhouse shooting through your mind. Even the thought was enough to make your heart beat faster and as much as you would have loved to lie to yourself—

No.

You couldn’t even entertain that idea.

Yes, perhaps you didn’t dislike his presence as much as you pretended to, and maybe your eyes had started searching for him in every outing lately but you couldn’t let that cloud your judgement.

He was attractive, there was no denying it, but that was all there was to this strange feeling.

“Clover?”

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked at him. “Huh?”

A smile curled his lips and he shook his head with a sigh.

“You know,” he said. “I find it quite ironic that you keep using the same approach with your suitors but are unable to see it for yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, my dear,” your uncle said, giving you a knowing look. “Silence is an answer too sometimes.”

You pulled back, swallowing thickly and he stood up.

“Do try to rest a little,” he said. “I’m sure you need it. And just see whether you will miss him until you see him again.”

You let out a breath as he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving you alone. You shook your head and pressed your palms over your eyes, slipping further into the covers.

“I had too much sun,” you muttered to yourself. “That’s all.”

                                           *

After three days of complete rest, you were about to lose your mind. You really wanted to go and check your garden and you had almost managed to sneak out until your aunt caught you by the door and insisted that you kept resting in your room.

“It’s not as if there’s a lack of flowers there,” she had told you and even if you hated to admit, she was right.

Somehow.

Your suitors, after hearing of your so called sickness had all decided to send you flowers and now your room was filled with multiple bouquets of roses and tulips and forget-me-nots. Ironically you couldn’t even put a face on the name of the lord who sent you the forget-me-nots, but since your aunt had told you not to exert yourself, you weren’t even going to strain your mind about that.

Daphne and Charlotte had visited you earlier yesterday, and apparently Benedict had accompanied them but your uncle had told him you were in no condition to accept anyone except your lady friends.

You didn’t want to scream out loud when you had heard of him doing so, not at all.

You knew exactly what your uncle was doing. He was trying to see whether you would want to see Benedict after a couple of days of not talking to him, to prove to you that you would miss him more than you cared to admit. You couldn’t decide what was more annoying, the fact that your uncle was right or that you hadn’t been subtle at all when you told him you “didn’t mind” if Benedict decided to visit.

“Not to overexert you of course,” your aunt said as she walked to smell the newest bouquet of flowers in the vase. “But I was thinking tomorrow evening we could go see a play?”

“Anything to get me out of the house, yes,” you said almost too quickly. “And to repeat, I’m not overexerted. I’m completely alright auntie.”

“Thankfully,” she said and touched the roses. “Aren’t they beautiful? Who sent them?”

“Lord Brumley,” you said with a wave of hand. “What’s the play?”

“Taming of the Shrew,” she said. “You’ll like it I’m sure.”

You tilted your head at her, narrowing your eyes and she shot you a smile.

“What?” she said. “I said nothing.”

“Auntie—”

“My lady?” Paula knocked on the door. “Lord Thorne says Mr. Bridgerton is here if you wish to see him.”

You could swear your heart leaped to your throat as you sat up straight in bed.

“What?” you asked, your voice coming out a bit high pitched before you cleared your throat, frowning while your aunt suppressed her smile.

“That’s nice of him,” she commented and you nibbled on your lip, then fixed your gown.

“He may come here,” you managed to say before you turned to your aunt. “Auntie…”

“Paula stays right here,” she said and you nodded.

“Of course,” you said and she walked out of the room, greeting Benedict outside. Paula approached the nearest vase to make herself look busy, giving you as much privacy as she could considering the circumstances and you shot her a small smile, then turned your head when you heard the knock on the doorframe.

You couldn’t ignore the fluttering in your stomach if you tried, but it didn’t mean you wouldn’t try.

“Miss Y/N,” he said as he bowed and stepped into the room. It didn’t escape your attention that unlike your other suitors, he hadn’t brought you any flowers—

Not that he was your suitor, or that you wanted any flowers from him.

“Mr. Bridgerton,” you greeted him back as if your heart wasn’t pacing against your ribcage and he looked around the room, raising his brows.

“Roses and tulips,” he commented. “Your favorites.”

You repressed a small smile and shrugged your shoulders. “And surprisingly no Venus Flytraps.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled at you before he let out a breath, his soft gaze focused on you.

“How do you feel?” he asked. “Charlie says it was heat exhaustion?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It was nothing.”

“I doubt it was nothing, she says you passed out.”

“For five seconds,” your reply came quick. “It doesn’t even count.”

“It sounds like it does.”

You rolled your eyes.

“A man of many talents, are you not?” you asked. “Benedict Bridgerton, the artist, eligible bachelor and now doctor.”

“Oh look at that, you’re back,” he teased back. “I was beginning to go through withdrawals after three days of no snark from you.”

“Not to worry, I spent those three days saving some for you,” you answered and his expression turned from amused to gentle.

“But are you certain you’re alright?” he asked. “Did the doctor say so?”

A warmth spread through your chest and you cleared your throat.

“I’m more than ready to be up and about and insult you in any kind of outing,” you deadpanned. “I can start now if you want. Beginning early and everything.”

He tilted his head and motioned at you. “Do your worst.”

“You seem quite tired and sleepless,” you noted. “Have you been getting enough inspiration lately?”

A surprised chuckle escaped from his lips, the pleasant sound making you bite back a smile.

“On another thought, I don’t want to know. Please spare me the details or the general idea.”

“Y/N—” he started but you widened your eyes and stole a look at Paula who was still in the room. He followed your gaze before turning to you and took a deep breath, then cleared his throat.

“Miss Y/N,” he corrected himself. “I uh…I’d better leave you to your rest.”

You could feel your stomach drop but you shrugged your shoulders. “I’m grateful for your visit, Mr. Bridgerton.”

“And I’m grateful that you’re alright,” he said and took a step to the door but then turned around.

“I almost forgot,” he said as he reached into the inner pocket of his waistcoat to pull out a folded paper, and placed it on your bedside. “Get well soon, Miss Y/N.”

He bowed and walked out of the room, making you frown and reach out to get the paper before you unfolded it with nimble fingers, a breath leaving your lips as soon as your eyes fell upon what was inside.

You would have recognized it anywhere.

He had painted you a small picture of Middlemist Red, your favorite flower. You blinked a couple of times, the warmth rushing through your face and you let a smile pull at your lips as you traced the brush strokes with your fingertips, nearly mesmerized.

He had brought you a flower after all, and he had managed to bring you your favorite.

You pushed the covers off of you and approached the painting of a garden hung on the wall before you carefully tucked the paper to the frame, then stepped back to look at it better.

“It’s very beautiful my lady,” Paula said and you turned to her, barely aware of the smile lighting up your face.

“Yes,” you managed to say. “Yes, it really is.”

                                            *

Thankfully your aunt was finally convinced that you weren’t going to drop dead all of a sudden so this play -though it was not your favorite- was going to be a nice distraction from the last couple of days. Charlotte had found you the minute you stepped foot into the building and whisked you away from your aunt who already seemed eager to talk to Lady Danbury.

“…So then Mr. Fairfax asked me to see him in the garden after the dance.”

Your eyes widened. “Lottie, please tell me you said no.”

“Of course I said no!” she said quickly. “My mama would lose her mind if I were ever alone with a man. Not that she had much to worry about, because I happened to mention Mr. Fairfax’s request to Benedict and he looked very angry for some reason, then nearly dragged Mr. Fairfax out of the ballroom!”

Your heart skipped a beat but you sipped your drink just so that you could act normal.

“Good,” you commented and Lottie tilted her head to the side.

“What do you think Mr. Fairfax wanted to talk to me about in the garden?”

You heaved a sigh, Charlotte was too sweet for this world.

“I have no idea but I doubt it was anything good,” you said and looked around, trying to distract her. “It’s very beautiful here, don’t you think?”

“Oh yes!” she said. “Is this the first time you’re here?”

“Mm hm. You?”

She shook her head. “I’ve been here a couple of times, they hold wonderful plays here. Not that anything they put on stage can beat the rooftop, but…”

“There’s a rooftop here?”

“Oh my God yes!” she said, reaching out to hold your arm. “You simply must see it! Perhaps we can go up there after the play and watch the stars—I swear, it’s the best view in London.”

“You’re raising my expectations, I hope you know that,” you said with a smile but before she could say anything else, your aunt approached you.

“Miss Harlowe,” she said. “Do you mind if I borrow my niece for a moment?”

“No of course not,” she said and your aunt linked her arm with yours, and slowly led you away from her.

“It’s a shame our seats are so away from each other,” you said, “I’d quite like Lottie’s commentary on the play.”

“Clover my dear,” your aunt said. “I was wondering, what do you think of Lord Shaw?”

You pulled your brows together. “Uh…I don’t think of him,” you said. “Why?”

“I just talked to him,” she said. “He wants to ask your uncle for your hand in marriage.”

That was enough to make you stop dead in your tracks, your heart dropping down to your stomach. You could feel the fear filling you and you tried to find your voice that seemed to have disappeared all of a sudden.

“Auntie…”

“Obviously the decision is all yours dearest, and if—no?” she asked as you shook your head fervently, breathing hard.

“I don’t…” you swallowed thickly. “I don’t want him. I don’t want him as a husband.”

“Alright, then your uncle will turn him down in your behalf.”

Fixing your breathing felt nearly impossible. “Will he?”

She looked at you with a soft look on her face and rubbed at your arm.

“My dearest, we would never, ever force you to marry somebody you don’t wish to,” she asked. “I assumed you did not like him, but I wanted to ask you to be sure.”

“I’m sure,” you said, fear still keeping you tight in its cold clutch. “No I don’t—I don’t want to marry him.”

“Then you will not marry him,” she assured you as they announced that the play was about to start. Your aunt pulled you to your seat and out of the corner of your eye, you could see Benedict walking into the theatre with Colin to sit beside Charlotte but you were too lost in your thoughts to even turn your head.

If the proposals had started coming…

It wasn’t that you didn’t know it would happen when you debuted. After all, your uncle was very wealthy and your dowry was huge, so it was no wonder you would receive proposals but you hadn’t really stopped to think about the actual possibility of marriage this soon.

It was alright. It was going to be alright, you weren’t going to get married to someone you didn’t want, and you were going to find someone that fit your criteria, and—

And then you would be experiencing every aspect of marriage.

Where had the air disappear to in this goddamn theatre?

You took a look at the stage to see the actors and actresses taking their places and you forced yourself to inhale just so that you could get some air into your lungs. You gritted your teeth, then touched your aunt’s hand.

Charlotte was sitting far away from you and your aunt didn’t have her glasses on.

“Auntie, I think Charlotte is still outside,” you said. “I just remembered I needed to tell her something, I’ll be right back.”

“But Clover, the play has already started.”

“I’ll be right back,” you said and stood up from your seat, painfully aware of Benedict’s gaze on you but you walked out of the theatre into the hallway without so much as a glance back. You rubbed at your wrist, your heart still beating in your ears.

You didn’t want to be seen by anyone, and you desperately needed somewhere you could pull yourself together—

The rooftop.

You gathered up your skirts to lift them a little, then rushed to the stairs to ascend them until you reached the very top, and pushed open the door to step outside, the cool weather hitting your burning face. You closed your eyes for a moment, then opened them and approached the edge, a breath of awe leaving your lips.

Charlotte was right, the view was gorgeous.

You had to have stared at the view of the city for almost a minute before the sound of the door opening made you turn your head to look over your shoulder, that familiar warmth making its way through the icy cold of the fear in your chest.

“Let me guess,” Benedict said, “You hate Shakespeare as well?”

You pressed your lips together, then turned your gaze to the view again.

“I like some of his plays,” you said. “And before you ask, Romeo and Juliet is not among them, no.”

“That’s shocking.”

“How did you know where I was?”

“Charlie assumed you couldn’t wait to see the rooftop,” he stated and you nodded.

“I guess that’s true in a way,” you commented before you fixed your skirts, then sat down on the ground. Benedict approached you and hesitated for a moment.

“May I?”

“Go ahead, I’m not the owner of the building.”

He shot you that crooked grin of his before he sat beside you.

“Are you alright?”

You bit inside your cheek and stole a look at him, then nodded.

“Yes,” you said, making sure to keep your expression flat. “I suppose I needed some fresh air after being cooped up in the house for days.”

“Is that the only reason you’re here?”

No.

No, of course it was not.

The reason was that you couldn’t even imagine being married to someone without feeling as if all the air was pulled out of your lungs, but you couldn’t exactly say that. You rubbed at your wrist as you looked up at the sky so that you could avoid looking at him, then laid on your back, curling an arm behind your head. The glimmering stars were so beautiful in the dark sky that for a moment you wanted to tell him to look up, but all his attention seemed to be on you.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice soft. “What is it?”

You rolled your eyes.

“If you’re going to keep smothering me with your questions, I may reconsider my decision about letting you stay.”

“I thought you said you weren’t the owner of the building.”

“I can pretend otherwise if need be,” you said. “Your presence is much more enjoyable if it’s not accompanied by questions.”

He tilted his head. “I thought you hated my presence.”

“You have your moments,” you pointed out. “Very rare moments, and it seems that right now is not one of them.”

He shot you a roguish smirk. “I’m still taking that as a good sign.”

“You do that quite a lot,” you remarked before you raised a hand to trail it in the air, following the shape of the stars. “It’d be one less thing to worry about if I were dead, I tell you. I wouldn’t have to deal with suitors.”

He pulled his brows together. “Yes because you’d be dead.”

“Yet here I am, constantly subjected to suitors and their nonsense,” you muttered and sat up. “Go on then.”

He looked a bit confused. “Hm?”

“You’re here, so you might as well make your presence useful,” you said. “Entertain me.”

His smile was too irresistible, and that was why you refused to look his way but you hadn’t expected him to lean back on his palms and take a look at the sky.

“As my lady wishes. Do you know what that constellation is?” he asked, pointing at a couple of stars and you followed his line of sight, then shook your head.

“No,” you said. “What is it?”

“Andromeda.”

“Judging by my limited knowledge of mythology, I’m going to go on a limb and say Zeus had something to do with that.”

He let out a chuckle. “Not really.”

“No?”

“No,” he said, “Andromeda was this… beautiful princess of Aethiopia. She was so beautiful that her mother Cassiopeia started saying she was more beautiful than Nereids, Poseidon’s daughters.”

You hissed in a breath. “Hubris. Bad idea in Greek mythology.”

“Very bad idea,” he nodded. “As you can tell, Poseidon doesn’t take that kindly.”

“Of course not.”

“So he sends a sea monster to ravage their coasts to punish the king and the queen for their hubris,” Benedict said. “The king asks his oracle for a solution, and the oracle tells him he has to sacrifice Andromeda, that there is no other way.”

You made a face. “I don’t like this story.”

Benedict grinned. “But,” he said. “As fate would have it, when they tie Andromeda to a rock for the sea monster to take her, Perseus happens to be flying over there on his winged sandals, having just slain Medusa. He sees Andromeda, and…”

“Ugh,” you groaned. “Let me guess, he falls in love with her?”

“He falls in love with her,” he nodded. “So he kills the monster, saves Andromeda and marries her.”

“Shocking.”

“And after her death, Athena places Andromeda into the sky as a star with her whole family,” Benedict said, pointing at the star. “Right there.”

You bit down on a smile and clicked your tongue.

“Interesting,” you commented. “You know all myths by heart?”

He nodded his head. “Most of them,” he said. “You’re not the only one with a specific interest.”

“Here I thought the only thing you could offer was your good looks.”

That mischievous smile curled his lips. “I wasn’t aware you found me good looking, Miss Y/N.”

You shot him a glare but that did nothing to wipe that smile off his face.

“Kitty Morris is still inside, I suggest you go to her if you’re in need of compliments,” you said. “Or Madame Delacroix. Or any of your dalliances, really. I’m sure there’s quite the queue.”

“Are all your compliments instantly followed by biting remarks?”

“I couldn’t say, I’m not in the habit of giving people compliments.”

He chuckled, the pleasant sound making your heart skip a beat but you bit on your lip.

“That being said…” you said after a small hesitation. “Thank you. For the—for the flower, earlier. Middlemist Red.”

He looked almost abashed. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“I loved it,” you said, nervousness hitting you out of nowhere. “And I will keep it.”

He turned his glances to you. “Will you?”

“Well, yes,” you said. “When you unavoidably become a famous artist, I will either sell it to get rich or keep it to use it as an object for boosting and elevating my position among the ton. I haven’t decided yet.”

He stared at you before he scoffed a laugh, his blue eyes glimmering in delight even under the moonlight, and he ran a hand through his black hair in almost a nervous manner, messing it up in such a lovely way that you had to remind yourself not to reach out to touch it to see if it was as soft as it looked.

“Thank you,” he ended up saying. “It means more than you know, coming from you.”

You offered him a small smile, playing with the silk skirts of your dress just so that you could do something with your hands.

“Why are you here?” he asked after a couple of seconds of silence. “Really?”

You shrugged your shoulders and fixed your skirts.

“I told you,” you said nonchalantly. “I was in need of some fresh air. Why are you here?”  

A silence fell upon him only for a moment before he took a deep breath.

“Can’t you tell?” he asked, and as if on cue, your heart started pacing in your chest. Your eyes shot up to his blue gaze, your breath getting caught in your throat and all you could do was stare at him for a moment.

The warmth of hope that had shot through your whole system was so sudden that it made your head spin, and it would’ve been intoxicating if it weren’t for—

If it weren’t for the familiar fear turning it into ice shards in your veins.

You pulled back slightly, your eyes burning as you dug your fingernails into your palms before you subtly twisted your wrist and clenched your jaw, painfully aware of the hostile glare taking over the happy light that was in your eyes a moment ago, and judging by his expression, so was he.

“Y/N—”

“Don’t,” you cut him off through clenched teeth and shook your head. “I wouldn’t even entertain that thought if I were you.”

He swallowed thickly, his eyes darting over your face as if he was trying to read your mind. “Why not?”

You shook your head again, fear slowly poisoning your system even if you were trying your hardest to remain calm.

“I know you artists like to be tormented, but trust me,” you said as you stood up, with him following you suit. “What you are implying would result in more of a torment than you could take.”

“It doesn’t have to be—”

“Perhaps it does not but it would be,” you insisted, the burning in your eyes getting even worse but you quickly blinked back the tears. “I’d make sure of that.”

He let out a breath, his gaze locked in yours and he took a step towards you but you stepped back as soon as he did, glaring up at him.

“Don’t make me rip your heart out Benedict,” you forced the words through your teeth, trying your hardest to ignore the pain in your chest. “I will if I have to, so please do not make me.”

The hurt in his eyes was so clear that you could feel the lump growing bigger and bigger in your throat and you walked past him, desperate to get away from his sight before he could see the tears blurring your vision. You pushed open the door and made your way down the stairs before you reached the bottom of them and turned a corner to lean back to the wall, a sob climbing up your chest. You pressed your palms to your eyes as if that could help you with tears and tried to fix your shaky breathing.

It was the right thing to do. You couldn’t even—

You wouldn’t even entertain the thought.

You wiped at your eyes, trying to pull yourself together.

“You’re alright,” you muttered, pushing yourself off the wall. “You’re alright, don’t be foolish.”

You took a shaky breath, fixed your dress, then threw your shoulders back and made your way back to the auditorium.

Chapter 8 

#benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton x reader #regency fic

[vintagepresley]

The Doctor Will See You Now

Pairing: John Carpenter x Reader

Word Count: 3,237

Warnings: SMUTSMUTSMUT 18+ Just some good ol’ unprotected sex, tiny bit fingering, use of the word whore, breeding kink. Implied age gap.

Authors Notes: I don’t even know what to say about this. But it was inspired by those wonderful anon messages. Thank you because it truly gave me the motivation to write something. I hope you enjoy besties.

Part Two Part Three

“Are you a good girl?”

Dr. John Carpenter had been your doctor for quite some time now and each visit your crush on him grew more and more, that you started making up illnesses and reasons to visit his office. At first he was naive to your little game until he began to realize what was actually going on. He was no saint and had a bit of a wandering eye when it came to some of the young women that came through his office and you were one of them. So, when he noticed you in his office more than usual he decided to play your little games and he’d bring you back to one of the rooms and exam where you said it hurt. He’d take full advantage to touch you a little longer than he should have when he’d do his exams. The touch of his big hands touching various parts of your body made you feel the naughtiest things and one time you actually let out a soft moan, which you were so embarrassed about. But Dr. Carpenter loved it. There was an unspoken tension between the two of you. He was fully aware you were nearly half his age, but he didn’t care. This was like foreplay for the two of you and when it was all over, he’d see you on your way out with a clean bill of health. You’d giggle and flash him a cute smile as you said your goodbyes. He’d be left watching you walk away with a pleasing grin playing on his lips. 

A few days had gone by and since your last encounter with the doctor you couldn’t stop thinking about him and the way his hands felt all over you. You desperately needed to see him again and today you wanted things to take a step further beyond the cute foreplay. You were sporting a rather more daring look today, wearing a powder pink mini skirt with a white blouse that you had left two buttons at the top undone to show off a bit of your cleavage and paired it with some white kitten heels. You happily made your way to Dr. Carpenter’s office. Some of the nurses had noticed how many times a week you had come into the office and they assumed you must have been a very sick girl if you constantly had the doctor’s office. Dr. Carpenter never let anyone suspect that anything was going on when he’d take you back to the exam room. You were both always so careful even though there was nothing but some innocent touching and some light kissing going on behind those closed doors. You held your hands against your stomach groaning in pain hoping the nurse would see that it was urgent that you see the doctor. The nurse hopped out of her seat and over to help you and she called out to one of the other nurses to hurry and get the doctor. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” the nurse said kindly. 

“I.. I have a terrible pain in my stomach.” you groaned softly as the lie left your lips. Dr. Carpenter came rushing out of the office thinking they were an actual patient in need and when he saw you he smirked to himself and for a moment his teeth grazed his bottom lip as he noticed your outfit. He cleared his throat as he approached you. 

“I’ll take it from here, nurse. Thank you.” he said firmly. You glanced up to see the handsome doctor before you dressed in a dark blue dress shirt and white slacks. The nurse handed you over to the doctor and the moment you felt his grasp on you, your body tingled from his very touch. “Let’s get ya back to the exam room, honey. What seems to be the problem?” his voice rang out as he walked you back to the room with him trying to be professional as possible in front of everyone. The moment you two got into the room and that door closed behind you both you both shared a smirk with one another. Your big doe eyes stared up at him, giggling softly as you watched his eyes examining your outfit. “You’re gonna get me into some trouble, honey.” he hummed. 

“But doctor, I really am in pain..” you purred as you walked over to the exam table and plopped yourself down on it and he followed behind you shaking his head with a smirk. 

“Mm, where does the pain seem to be today?” he responded as he watched the way your mini skirt rose as you sat down. He tried to keep his composure. You captured your bottom lip between your teeth as you stared up at him innocently, twirling your fingers between strands of your hair. 

“Um.. The pain.. It’s.. It’s..” You were too embarrassed to say out loud. So you looked down and then back up at him hoping he’d catch on to what you were trying to tell him. He furrowed his brow a bit as he watched you. But he still wasn’t picking up what you were putting down and you cleared your throat and pointed down to your skirt. “The pain is down there, doctor.. I think it really needs to be looked at..” you hummed as a smirk formed on your lips and you slowly parted your legs. You watched as his expression softened and he gazed down at your parted legs and he swallowed harshly as he stared between your thighs. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it when he was alone with his thoughts and you’d start creeping into his head. The thought of fucking you on his examination table like the little slut you were. “Doctor?” you said softly. He inhaled sharply as you shook him out of his dirty thoughts. 

He cleared his throat. “Well.. Uh.. What does the pain feel like, honey?” he asked knowing he would regret that question as his eyes wandered back down to your parted legs. You parted your legs further as you noticed him staring and the further you spread them open the more your skirt lifted and your white panties peeking through just enough for him to see them. 

“It’s throbbing doctor.” you said in an airy tone. 

“Oh? D-Does this throbbin’ sensation happen often?” he responded with a hum.

“Oh yes, quite often.. I can’t seem to make it stop..” you cooed. You watched as he licked his lips and his breathing grew a bit heavy as he just stared at the teasing glimpse of your panties. “Will look at it, Dr. Carpenter?” you asked innocently. 

He could hardly focus with the thought of seeing your pussy on his mind and he cleared his throat once more and nodded at your words. “Yes, honey. I’ll have a look and see what the problem is.” he said in almost a whisper. He walked over to grab you a hospital gown and handed it to you. “Get undressed for me and put this on and I’ll be right back.” he said firmly. You nodded at his words, chewing at the inside of your cheek nervously as you watched him make his way out of the room. You hopped off the table, stripped your clothes off and slipped on the hospital gown leaving the back loosely tied as you sat back on the cold table patiently waiting for him to come back into the room. Dr. Carpenter had never done anything like this with any of the other girls that he had flirted with from time to time. He was nervous because he knew exactly where this was going. He didn’t want to get caught fucking his patient. But he knew no matter how much he wanted to resist that he wouldn’t be able to resist. He gave it another minute before he came waltzing back into the room and locking the door behind him. You both stared at one another for a moment knowing what was going to transpiry in this very room. 

Dr. Carpenter slowly walked over to you and he cupped your face in his hands and he leaned down to kiss your lips softly and you felt like you were floating the moment your lips touched and you kissed him back with such desperation until he pulled back. He decided to keep up the little game the both of you were playing.  “Lie back for me, honey.” he mumbled. You nodded in response to him and you slowly and carefully laid back against the cold metal table and bent your legs as you spread them open. You took a deep breath feeling your face grow hot because he was now staring at your pussy and had you in a very vulnerable position. You gasped softly when you felt him spread your legs open wider for him, Dr. Carpenter bit his bottom lip at the sight of your beautiful pussy and he stared at it examining every inch and every crevice. “Scoot closer to me, darlin’. I ain’t gonna bite ya.” he said with a smirk. You slowly inched yourself closer toward him. You stared down at him to see him so mesmerized with your pussy. The very sight of him staring at it turned you on, that you could feel yourself becoming wet in that moment. You felt so embarrassed that you started to blush. He watched as your cunt dripped in your sweet nectar and he could feel his pants getting tight from the semi you had given him. 

“Now, honey, I’m gonna touch ya and you tell me where the pain is.” he said with a smirk. 

“Yes, doctor.” you responded obediently, biting your lip with anticipation of his touch. 

You felt the warmth of his hands grasp your thighs and they moved up and down slowly that it brought a shiver down your spine. You caught your breath in your throat as you felt his hands between your thighs now tracing light circles against your soft supple skin. His touch was driving you mad and causing the heat between your legs to become even wetter by the minute that you couldn’t help but let a soft whine escape your lips. “Does it hurt here, baby?” he mumbled between bated breaths. You shook your head at his words, wanting and needing him to move his hand down further to where it needed his attention the most. He smirked and he guided his hand closer toward your aching pussy and a loud gasp escaped your lips when you felt his thumb run along the wet folds of your pussy, brushing teasingly against your clit that your body jolted at the feeling and a soft moan escaping you. “Hm.. I think I’ve found where that throbbin’ was comin’ from, honey.” he hummed. 

“Y-You found the exact spot.. Doctor…” you said shakily as you tried to compose yourself. 

Before you could even form another sentence the pad of his thumb parted your soaked pussy lips and delicately began to rub your clit. He worked the sensitive bud in slow circles as he kept his touch light. Your eyes rolled back and you inhaled deeply before exhaling sharply and a whimper soon followed. Dr. Carpenter rubbed his other hand soothingly along your right thigh. “I know exactly what ya need to cure this pesky throbbin’ of yours..” the doctor said under his breath. Your ears were ringing and your face felt hot from the sensation you were feeling between your legs as he pressed his thumb harder against your clit and his movements a bit faster and now a string of moans were leaving your lips softly. You knew you had to be quiet because anyone could hear what was going on. But there were no promises that you’d be quiet for long. The more he rubbed your clit the wetter you became and he watched as his thumb was completely covered in your slick and dripping down onto his hand. You suddenly felt his thumb circling around your tight hole and then two of his fingers circled around it until he slowly pushed them inside of you and you let out a crying whimpering. “Are you a good girl? You've been with a lot of men?” he uttered softly as he slipped his fingers out of your wet cunt.  

“I-I’m a good girl.. No.. I’ve only had one boyfriend..” you said shakily as your eyes followed the doctor as he stood up from his chair and towered above you. 

He smirked. “This pussy of yours belongs to me now.” he hummed as he unlatched the buckle of his belt and slowly began to unbutton his slacks. “Do ya want babies, Y/N?” he asked curiously as he tugged his pants down and cock sprang out fully erect. You chewed on your bottom lip nervously as your eyes widened at the sight of his erection. Then you glanced back up at him to answer his question. 

“Y-Yes.. Of course.” you responded. One of his hands reached up to cup your face and his fingertips caressed your cheek slowly. He smirked hearing all he needed and he grasped your hospital gown in his hand and he yanked it off you and tossed it to the floor and the room was so cold that your nipples grew hard from the harsh air as you laid there naked and exposed for the handsome doctor. He grabbed your thighs and tugged you forward wrapping them around his waist and his big erect cock forced its way inside of your tight cunt. You cried out in soft whimpers and moans. He didn’t even give you a chance to adjust to him before he started thrusting inside of you until he completely bottomed out inside of you. Your eyes rolled back and your back arched against the metal table feeling his cock so deep inside of you, penetrating your tight walls and forcing them open just for him as if your pussy was made for his cock. His strong hands grabbed a hold of your hips as he started slamming his cock inside of you at a steady pace, his groans leaving him long and low. 

“Goddamn.. Such a tight fuckin’ pussy..” he grunted as his cock wrecked you with each swift hard thrust he made. Your hands gripped tight onto the metal table as your body bounced with each of his movements and you moaned loudly forgetting that others could possibly hear, but you no longer cared and neither did he as he groaned and grunted louder as your bodies moved in unison together. You whimpered his name on your pouty lips each word coming out more sultry and nearly pornographic from the sounds that followed each word. You suddenly felt empty when he pulled out of you without warning and grabbed you and forced you around onto all fours and you felt him climb up onto the table behind you, his wet cock slapping against your ass and he guided his cock back inside of your warm wet pussy and he tilted his head back as he moaned with pleasure feeling his cock sink back into you. You nearly squealed, feeling his cock slip deep inside of you again. 

“Oh, doctor..” you moaned. 

You weren’t able to form any kind of sentence as he fucked you rough forcing your face to rest against the cold examining table as he took complete control of your ever move as his hands grasped a handful of your ass, the sound of both of your pleasuring sounds and his hips slapping against your ass filled the quiet echoey room. “Ah fuck.. This pussy feels so damn good ‘round my cock. Gonna make me put a damn baby in ya, honey. Would ya like that? Hm? Have me fuckin’ breed ya like a good whore.” he said between soft groans. 

“Yes! P-Please.. I’m yours!” You cried as his cock slammed against your walls stretching your sore cunt wide open. He was going to make sure you knew exactly who owned your pussy now. You belonged to him now. Completely. He was going to make sure you wouldn’t forget it when you walk out of his office today. 

He smirked at your obedience. “Atta girl.. Gonna make ya my good little breedin’ whore and give you so many damn babies..” he grunted between his heavy breaths. You didn’t know how much longer you could hold on or how much more you could take. You could feel your orgasm building in the pit of your stomach rising to the surface viciously as your body felt almost lifeless and tired. He was reaching his own orgasm as his grunting became louder and his breathing heavier that you could hardly hear his groans between them. His hips bucked and his body grew numb as he was getting closer to cumming. “Oh god, baby.. Gonna make me cum so hard inside ya..” he mewled. His cock throbbed and twitched inside of you as his hips convulsed against your ass and before he realized it he was cumming deep inside of you, painting your walls white with his warm cum that filled you up. The very feeling of that sweet warmth pushed you over the edge that your orgasm hit like freight train and you came hard all over his aching cock. You both moved slowly against one another until you rode out your high. You fell against the metal table nearly exhausted as you felt his cock slip out of your leaking cunt and he climbed off the table. Your body jolted when you felt his fingers pushing his cum back into your pussy. 

He already knew that the whole office probably heard what was going on and he helped you off the table and turned you to face him and he kissed you deeply. “You should go, baby..” he mumbled. You kissed him back and let out a soft whimper against his lips, not wanting to leave him after what you just did together, but you nodded at his words. He handed you your clothes and the both of you quickly got dressed. You could feel drops of his cum seeping out of you and into your panties as the two of you composed yourselves and before you could head out the door, he grabbed your arm and pulled you toward him and he kissed you so passionately that you felt like you could’ve melted in his arms as you kissed him back deeply. He pulled back and his eyes so piercing and blue stared into your eyes. “You come and see me and I’ll check and see if I made you a mama.. If not, I’ll have to examine you thoroughly again until it takes..” he whispered. You bite your bottom lip at his words, knowing exactly what he meant. 

“Yes, Dr. Carpenter.” you responded softly. 

He walked you to the door and he cleared his throat when he opened it. He could see that his staff and other patients knew exactly what went on when they saw the two of you. But he ignored it. “Goodbye, Y/N.” he said sternly. You flashed him a smile and giggled softly as you went on your way, glancing back to see him staring at you as he usually did before you disappeared from his sight.

*

Tagging: @generoustreemystic @arianatheangel-girl @kendralavon7 @be-my-ally @prompted-wordsmith @samfangirls @airyx0x0 @astralheart21 @galaxygirl453 @prayerstopresley

#elvis presley #john carpenter #change of habit #elvis fanfic #elvis imagine #elvis smut #elvis fluff #paging dr carpenter #change of habit fanfic

[risustravelogue]

in my psychiatrist's waiting room and just had a thought.

cw. mental health issues, specifically depression/bipolar 2. fem!reader, she/her pronouns used.

thinking about fiancé!Alhaitham accompanying you to see your psychiatrist for the first time, as he's about to become your husband. your... official support system, so to say, for all intents and purposes.

he sits beside you in the waiting room, his hands finding their way to your elbow or back or shoulder while you sit and talk to pass the time. sensing his nervous energy, you smile at him and intertwine your fingers with his.

"it's okay," you say. "it's just a routine consultation."

he didn't expect to be this nervous, either. he had read about your condition in books and been beside you in many of both your depressive and hypomanic episodes, so he knows you better than your doctor, in a sense. but it's not about the clinical stuff. accompanying you to see the doctor makes his bond with you feel more... acknowledged, somehow.

the doctor calls your name from inside her office in the Bimarstan, and you lead him into the room, your fingers tugging at his. as expected, it's just a routine consultation: she asks you to tell her any notable events and your emotional stability since your last visit, and you tell her some stories. she asks Alhaitham some questions with a knowing smile, and he answers with his observations of you. you notice that he squeezes your hand more tightly whenever it's his turn to speak.

after handing over your prescription, the elderly doctor concludes the consultation by congratulating the two of you, the corners of her eyes wrinkling with wisdom.

"don't worry, mr. Alhaitham. you've been taking very good care of your fiancée so far," she says, offering her hand to him. "can I expect you to be here again with her next month?"

you smile as your beloved shakes your doctor's hand firmly.

"you can," he says, the corners of his mouth forming a tiny smile. "and I should thank you for taking good care of her, doctor."

he looks into your eyes, and he gently interlocks his fingers with yours. "she's... my life would be much worse without her smile in it."

your doctor laughs. "ah, young love," she muses. "I'm sure you'll take care of each other very well."

... ah, good. his steps are much lighter now.

© @risustravelogue 2023 • no to reposting, yes to reblogging. feel free to send an ask to suggest, chat, etc. :)

#cw depression #tw depression #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #pls I want him with me NOW #I'm so normal about this idea #NOT. NOT NORMAL AT ALL #kurisu's thoughts #kurisu writes

[httpknjoon]

learning about the twins | ksj

plot | it's your first ultrasound day! you and your husband is about to receive a surprise news.

word count | 1.9k+

genres | fluff, domestic au, parents au

pairing | actor!jin x famous!reader (also, pregnant!reader)

note | it took me long to respond! but thank you so much for loving their journey, anon. hope you'll like this one too 🌸🤍 ps. I'm missing the a-listers so much haha

main masterlist | the a-listers: confidential masterlist

"Jeez, your hand..."

You scoffed after you placed his hand on your lap like a habit. Just by a simple touch, you felt the coldness of his palm.

"It's just an ultrasound, Jinnie."

You can feel your heart beating like a drum at this very moment, but you're just better at hiding it. This is your second time visiting your trusted obstetrician while this is Jin's first since he was abroad when you learned about your pregnancy. He promised to come with you to your checkups every time since then. Today will be your first ultrasound.

"I know, I know." he sighed as he tried to focus on driving. But you can his knuckles turning white with how hard he's clutching onto the steering wheel.

Ever since your doctor confirmed your pregnancy, you have been researching on your own. Counting the weeks now, you are only in your ninth. But after seeing other women's experiences and images online, you cannot help but notice that your tummy is growing a bit faster and bigger than normal. You thought of the possibility of having multiple babies but you don't want to tell Jin about it. You don't want to cause any false alarms or surprises.

"Okay, we're here... please take a breath, hon." you quipped.

With you, he inhales and then exhales. You squeezed his hand, making him look at you. You smiled and placed a soft kiss on his knuckle, and his face softens. Before leaving the car, he put on his cap and mask. You do the same thing. Although your doctor made sure to keep your schedules with her private, you still take extra measures to protect your identity from whoever may recognize you in the hospital.

"Dr. Philipps texted me earlier that she's already there. So we can just go straight there," you spoke before getting in the elevator.  

Dr. Philipps (Or Stella is what you call her sometimes outside her medical clinic)  has been your trusted doctor for years. You've been going to Stella for your bi-annual checkups ever since Hailey started managing you. She doesn't care about your famed status and is not shy to lecture you about your health when necessary. You are close enough to her that she sends you holiday cards every year while you send her gifts on every special occasion.

"I should not be the one who's nervous about this." he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well, this is my second time already. So you are pretty reasonable right now, hon." you clung to his arm and instantly locked your hands together, still feeling the coldness from his palm.

From the underground parking lot, the elevator took you two to the eighth floor. It was a great relief that there was only a single person who joined you two throughout the two-minute ride, an old man who probably didn’t know anything about you and your husband. Jin greeted him with a short good morning when they shared a quick glance.

The elevator door opened. You and Jin walked straight to your doctor's door, not making any eye contact with anyone. Stella usually starts her check-ups in the late mornings but she always makes an exception for you, sending you in at seven o'clock. You knocked a couple of times on the door before hearing a voice from inside the room.

"Come in!"

Of course, Jin opened the door for you. 

"Oh, so the husband is finally here." she acknowledged Jin who followed behind you. "The last time you went here, you looked more nervous.”

You laughed at that, easing your heartbeats for a moment. Blood rushes to Jin’s cheeks and ears as your doctor reminded him of that moment from years ago when you had a pregnancy scare. That was just a couple of years ago, back in the early stages of your relationship. You pulled him to sit on the other chair next to you.

“Okay, before we do the ultrasound, how are we feeling today? Are we excited?” she began asking. Awkward giggles and nods filled the room and you knew she can already see both stress and excitement on your and Jin’s faces. She has probably seen a thousand of these reactions from her other patients.

“Any new symptoms, YN?”

You answered, listing down the things you have been experiencing since your last visit. Frequent urination, extreme morning sickness (so extreme that Jin wakes up in worry, hearing you from the bathroom. Him handing you a glass of water became a part of your morning routine.), you’re always tired and have mood swings.

“Oh, and I feel like I’m growing fast,” you added, holding your stomach over the hoodie you’re wearing.

Stella raised an eyebrow, “Okay… how about we check on your weight and vitals before we start on your first ultrasound.”

You nodded. After the whole check-up with your vitals, she offered you a gown if you want to change before the ultrasound. 

“Are we going to know the gender already?” asked Jin.

“Oh, no. it’s too early for that. Right now, we’re going to see how big your baby is since you mentioned that and maybe we can hear a small heartbeat too.” she explained.

“Ooh, that’s cold.” you flinched with the ultrasound gel Stella spread over the lower part of your tummy.

She chuckled, “I know. You’ll never get used to it.”

Jin sat next to the monobloc chair next to the bed. He held your hand, doing the thing he usually does when he knows you’re nervous: massaging your palm. Although you didn’t say anything about your own worry on the way here and he’s a bundle of nerves right now, he can still see right through you. You were great at hiding you’re emotions but he just knows it. It made him wonder and felt more guilty about his absence during your first checkup.

“Okay, so this is your uterus…”

Stella was just beginning to move the device around your lower belly when you spotted something on her monitor almost instantly. Your eyes widened. It was like your heart stopped and you turned to Jin to see if he saw it too. But your innocent husband was just listening to your doctor and nodding while setting his eyes on the monitor.

“Stella…” you called her name, almost in a whisper as you were surprised. You hoped you weren’t just seeing things because you can already feel the bliss in your soul.

Worried, Jin looks at you and he can see your eyes glistening. Lines formed between his brows. Stella also turned her head to you.

“Yes?”

“Those are two…”

You didn’t even finish your sentence and Jin just didn’t understand what was going on. This was his first time seeing an ultrasound. The only thing he just learned about your doctor is a uterus. But you seemed emotional just by the mention of it and he is kinda scared of you mentioning a number. He really just cannot process properly at this point.

Stella moved the device again while looking at the screen. It didn’t take long for her to smile and nod, “Oh, yup. That’s definitely two sacks over there. It’s twins.”

You let out a shaky laugh upon hearing the confirmation while Jin stood up from surprise to have a better look at the screen. 

“What?” he asked in disbelief with the biggest smile on his face.

His eyes were filled with excitement and surprise while Stella began to explain those two sacks she was talking about. He never felt stupid since he already noticed those earlier but he just don’t know it. With your hand still in his, it is now unconsciously clutched near his chest.

“This is baby A and we’ll try to get their heartbeats…” Stella clicked some buttons and suddenly, all you and Jin can hear is that little quick series of lub dubs. “Oh, that is a great heartbeat! And this one is baby B...”

“Wow…” he reacted, still stunned, before looking at you. 

He sees happy tears rolling down your cheeks and he softly wipes them before leaning down to plant a kiss on your forehead. 

Stella also measured each twin and shared how old they are. One is exactly nine weeks old while the other is eight and a half weeks old. And while she was saying all that, the disbelief in both your and Jin’s systems is dying down but another emotion is growing quickly.

“But are they fine? Is everything normal?” you asked.

She reassures you with the same smile that always calms you down during your checkups, “Yes. They are fine. We will just watch you closely to make sure everything will go through smoothly.”

“Twins. We’re having twins.”

You chuckled as Jin repeated that sentence for the fourth time already when you two left Dr. Phillipps’ clinic. Those were the only words that came out of his lips since then. He's like a broken record player repeating things over and over again. It’s just sinking in.

“Yes, we are, my love.” you giggled as you leaned your head to his shoulder while walking out of the elevator to the underground parking lot.

He didn’t say a word again and opened the car door for you. Being the most worried and caring soon-to-be-dad, Jin helped you climb up his range rover. He placed a hand on the top of your head, in case you accidentally bump your head.  As if you were the most fragile porcelain glass in the world. You just smiled at his action.

“I’m pregnant. But I can do stuff, you know?” you joked as he fastened the seatbelt for you.

As the belt locked, he looked at you. “I know, bub. But we need to be more careful now. We have three people to take care of now.”

Your eyebrow raised before you chuckled, “Three? We’re only having two babies, Jin.”

“And how about you? You’re my biggest baby.” he instantly replied with a teasing tone.

It was corny, for sure. But you cannot stop the smile that formed on your lips when he said that. He laughed at your caught-off-guard reaction and you later joined in, laughing with that.

“Your ears are all red again!” you pointed out before holding them.

Your palms then held his cheeks. He smiled. You savored the silent moment. Without any words, you two knew what the person in front of you was feeling. Surprise, happiness, and maybe a little fear. You pursed your lips before speaking,

“We can do this. We’ll be good with this whole parenting twins thing.”

He nods, still in your touch, “We will, bub. We’ll learn together.”

Your chest heaves as you let out a big puff of air. Having one baby is already scary, what more with having two? But you have Jin. You know he will be next to you throughout this whole process. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you too, bub,” he answered before you leaned in for a kiss.

As he drives you two back home, Jin brought something up. Saying, 

“You know, if Donny learns this, he will ask me to name one of the twins to him.”

“We can do that…” you replied with no hesitation. 

But in reality, you just want to see your husband’s reaction. He looked at you with wide eyes and distressed eyebrows. Since you were an actress for a living, you managed to stop yourself from laughing and continued,

“Look, Donny has already done a lot for us. Maybe–”

“Oh, no, bub. We’re not going to name any of our kids Donald.”

a/n: feel free to send me an ask if you want to learn something about the a-listers!! tysm for reading <3

taglist rules

THE A-LISTERS: CONFIDENTIAL TAGLIST [OPEN]

@xiumo @joonsbvtch @firesighgirl @qualityjoonie @lojocas

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​ @cixrosie​ @jksjx​ @embrace-themagic​ @buttvi​ @starbtslove​ @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @tearyjjeon @itshookyworld

#jin x reader #jin fluff #bts jin #jin fic #jin au #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfiction #seokjin fluff #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts series #the a listers ksj #the a listers: universe lol

[rainydaydream-gal18]

(The Bad Batch) Tech x Reader: Checkup

(Author's Note: HAPPY TECH TUESDAY! It feels awesome to celebrate another Tech Tuesday with Season 2 actively being released!!! I've missed ya, Bad Batchers.

I always get asmr vibes when I visit the eye doctor, sooooo yeahhh this is kind of based on that. Sitting here wishing Tech was my eye doctor now lol).

Word Count: 989

You swiveled around to peer over your shoulder from the cockpit of the ship.  Echo occupied the pilot’s chair beside you, leaning back casually while you fidgeted in your own seat.

The sight of stars and planets zooming by in beautiful streaks of light while the Havoc Marauder flew in hyperspace would normally be a peaceful thing to observe, but currently, you were a little preoccupied.  It was checkup day, which you both dreaded and waited for in anticipation.

In between making repairs and researching, Tech found time periodically to evaluate the squad’s health.  It wasn’t unheard of for some members of the team to play hero and dismiss injuries from time to time.  Checkups were Tech’s way of making sure that everyone was receiving the treatment that they needed- no ifs ands or buts.

Echo had finished his turn a little while ago and seemed completely at ease in his seat, though one glance in your direction made him realize that you were not.

“It’ll be over before you know it,” he offered, mistaking your jitters for discomfort at the checkup itself.  He was trying to reassure you, but you could see the confusion in his brown eyes.  After all, you’d been through many evaluations before with no issue, and it wasn’t like it involved needles or anything that should be a cause for worry.

“Yeah, I know,” you replied.  “I’ve just got some stuff on my mind.”  You smiled in hopes that he would realize you were fine and drop the subject.

“Anything you want to talk about?”  Dear, dear Echo.  So considerate.

“Not really, but thank you.”

He eyed you for a moment longer, pausing long enough for you to say something if you did change your mind, but when you said nothing more, he simply nodded and turned his attention back to the dash.

It wasn’t the checkup that made you nervous.

It was the medic who would be administering it.

Heavy footsteps on the ship’s grated floor nearly made you tremble.  Your heart picked up speed at the sight of Wrecker poking his head up front to let you know his eval was done.

“Tech’s ready for ya.”  He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder in the direction where Tech was set up.

“Okay.  Thanks, Wrecker.”

You decided it was best to just get it over with.  Sucking in a breath, you rose from your chair and marched down the hall of the Marauder.  There Tech was with his medic equipment out, tapping away at a datapad.  Your heartbeat kicked it into high gear as his beautiful brown eyes met your gaze at the sound of your approach.

“Ah, ________.  Have a seat.”

You sat down on top of the crate and observed him.  The low light of the hallway highlighted his chiseled features.

“It’ll just be the usual,” Tech rattled off, typing another bit of information into his datapad before setting it down.  “I’ll check your pulse, temperature, and vision on top of confirming that you have no significant injuries.”

You exhaled quietly.  “Okay.”

“Have you experienced any pain as of late?  Anything unusual?”  He stepped forward, entering your space.  You knew it was coming, but you felt no more prepared to have him so close.

You wanted to shake the thought away.  He was your teammate doing a professional favor by evaluating your state of health.  It felt wrong to enjoy the brief contact.

“No, nothing like that,” you replied, clearing your throat.

“Good.  Glad to hear it.”  His eyes did a quick scan over your form in a silent check.  He reached for your hand, and despite his professional demeanor, his hold on your wrist was gentle, careful- like he was holding glass.  With his other hand, he began to take your pulse, eyes flickering to the side.  You released another shaky breath, hating how absolutely loud it sounded to you in the quiet.

“Hm.” He made the sound as if he noted something internally, but he didn’t voice it aloud.  Instead, he let go of your hand and grabbed the temp scanner off his tray and aimed it at your forehead.  He glanced at the screen.  “Temperature is normal.”

“Oh, good.”  You never knew what to say during these things.  A shudder ran down your spine as he picked up a small flashlight and switched it on.

“Look straight ahead, please,” he instructed, and you did so.  Goosebumps bloomed along your skin as the light shone in front of your eyes to check them.  “Now, look left.  Right.”  it was very difficult not to meet his gaze so close to yours, but you managed.  “Now, look up.”  You did so, but he made a tiny dissatisfied sound under his breath.  Tech leaned closer, reaching a hand up to gently tilt your chin down so that you’d look up with only your eyes.

He paused again, his own hand lingering.  You were glad that he was done taking your pulse because your heart was racing.

Finally, Tech seemed to snap out of it, clearing his throat and pulling away while switching off the flashlight.  “Everything seems to be in order.”

“Great.  Thank you, Tech.  I appreciate it.”

“Hm.”

You watched his expression curiously.  “What?”

“You are the only one that says ‘thank you’ for these.”

You tilted your head.  “Really?”

“I suppose the others see me as poking and prodding unnecessarily.  Especially Wrecker.”

You laughed at your other teammate’s history of protests and attempts to delay his own treatment, though simultaneously you felt your heart soften for Tech.  “Well, you’re looking out for us, and it’s appreciated.”

He started packing up his equipment since you were the last of the checkups.  “Thank you.  Your appreciation is…appreciated.”  He looked over at you once more, offering a brief, kind smile.

You chuckled and gave a little wave, returning to the front of the Marauder.  When you sat down, you were mentally screaming at the adorable interaction.

#bad batch #the bad batch #bad batch tech #bad batch tech imagine #tech x reader #bad batch tech x reader #bad batch imagine #bad batch fanfiction #tech fanfiction #tech imagine #tech reader insert #bad batch reader insert #star wars bad batch reader insert #bad batch x reader #the bad batch x reader #reader insert

[appalachiananarchist]

One of my least favorite things about having a chronic illness is that I have no choice but to tell people at work about it. I am a private person and would prefer not to talk about my health problems unless necessary, but given I am a permanently immunocompromised person working in primary care, it necessary most of the time.

We just got a new manager and I had to pull her aside to say, "Hey, heads up, I will get sick a lot and here is why. I promise I am not being intentionally difficult if I call in sick or have an emergency appointment." I don't want the people I work with to know that I am sick or the degree of it, but if I don't tell them, I look lazy due to calling off more than what is typical.

Most of the time people just accept it and don't ask any more questions. I did have one guy a few years back who asked me the name of the condition, which I told him because if I didn't I would look like a liar. He then googled it and later approached me to very earnestly insist I should not be working as a doctor and that "I should have been dead years ago." He told a bunch of other people the same, which is how I ended up pulled from hospital service and only allowed to do home-based Telehealth visits during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.

He meant well. People always do. I just would rather them not know at all so I could decide what risks to take for myself. I already know I have a serious condition, that being exposed to the general public is a big risk, and that there are unencouraging life expectancy stats on the internet. I wear masks, sanitize often, and act quickly the moment I feel an illness coming on. Working as a doctor was an important choice for me and I know for a fact I have made a difference in the lives of a lot of people. I want to keep doing that for as long as I can, be that short or long (and hopefully, long!). I just don't see a future in which I give up on medicine and hide myself away as one worth living in.

#personal #my ramblings #chronic illness

[houseofpurplestars]

From Tarek Loubani (@ trklou):

"I want to tell you about Hani, an incredible person and doctor. He was killed with his wife, Dr. Samira Al-Ghefari and their five children, Sherin, Thea (Tota), Sara, Samir, and Wafaa.

Hani just turned 41 years old when he was killed and only a few years into his career as an emergency doctor. He boarded in 2019 and became head of Shifa's ER a few weeks before COVID hit. He met the challenge, helping reconfigure the department for the pandemic.

Hani was a talented Emergency Physician, but Emergency was his second career. Hani was first an accomplished neurosurgeon. In 2009, he was part of the first team to remove a brain tumour in Gaza. This remarkable feat allowed patients to be treated under blockade in Gaza.

These weren't just lifesaving surgeries, but also quality of life ones like spinal canal widening. When I met Hani in 2011, I just turned thirty and he was about to. I was beginning my career and he already got bored with his. We served in the ER during the 2012 war together.

He felt he could make a bigger impact in the ER, especially during wars. He joined the board program, and for four years after, he was one of our students. It was obvious he should become the new chief of Shifa's emergency department, a job we had to convince him to take.

In 2021, he led the department through a war. Over the past two months, he served fearlessly, among the last doctors out of Shifa as Israel besieged it. He miraculously escaped arrest as he left, which may be why he was assassinated with his family.

His wife, Dr. Samira Al-Ghefari, was an accomplished doctor in her own right. While raising five children, she got a Master's degree in 2019. She cared deeply about women's health and primary care. I didn't know her well, but I knew enough to be in awe.

His children were killed with him, beautiful and vibrant balls of energy who I only met briefly during visits to Hani's home to talk shop. Samir celebrated his 7th birthday on Nov 14th, hungry and afraid as Israel's bombs fell, not knowing if he would ever see his father again.

In 2020, Hani wrote, "We belong to our nation. In it we'll stay. We were born here; raised here; were students and spent our nights studying here. We worked here. We had a duty, and we honoured it. This nation is carried forward through selfless sacrifice, toil, and perseverance."

Rest in Peace, Hani"

#glory to the martyrs #gaza hospital #free palestine #free gaza #i stand with palestine

[fatliberation]

Do you have any resources on going to the doctors while fat? Im tired of not being taken seriously, and I dont want to potentially trigger an ED relapse cause my weight was measured.

Oh, you know I do!! ✨

So, you actually do not have to be weighed at your doctor’s visit! You can explain to them that it is triggering for you, or you can simply opt-out and say “I’d like to decline being weighed today.” If you have to be weighed for something such as anesthesia or medication dosage, you can request a blind weigh-in, where you step on the scale backwards and the nurse will not show you the number they write down. You can also close your eyes.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable, you can go home at any time. Get up and walk away. Not feeling good about the experience is enough reason to end the appointment. You can say:

“I’m really uncomfortable in this appointment. I am going to put my clothes back on and leave.”

“I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. Can we reschedule this appointment?”

You don’t have to explain yourself to your doctor, and don’t worry, they’ve likely experienced this before. It’s written in the patients’ bill of rights that you have the right to refuse medical treatment that’s recommended by your physician and that you should be able to work with your doctor on mutually agreeable terms.

You may also request an online or phone appointment instead of in person. It’s f*cking ridiculous that this is actually true, but since covid began a lot of fat people have been receiving better care over telemedicine because our bodies are less visible.

If you get pushback from your provider, I recommend finding a new doctor. Your boundaries should be respected. Health At Every Size has resources to help you find a practitioner who will focus on your health independent from weight. (And here’s a list of fat friendly practicing health professionals by fatfriendlydocs.com. If you’re in the U.S., you can look them up by state.)

In the meantime, setting boundaries is your last resort. Let your doctor know that you are uninterested in pursuing weight loss, that dieting is a predictor to developing an ED, (and in your case, severely triggering for the ED you’ve already been struggling with). Ask them what treatment they would recommend for someone in a thin body, and request that they treat you the same.

If they don’t, ask them to make notes of the conditions they’re dismissing based on your weight. “Can you please make a note that you refused to test me for X on my file?” This might change their mind, or at least when you see someone else it’ll be on your notes and that other GP will (hopefully) take you seriously.

Here’s a video by @classyfattybabe that shows an example of this and other specific phrases to set boundaries with your doctor.

I am so sorry you have to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office. No one should ever have to go through this. My heart is with you. Best of luck at your next visit, love ❤️

#fat liberation #medical fatphobia #medical gaslighting #anti fatness #self advocacy #inbox #ref #save

[fillinforlater]

Monday of Appreciation: Part 84

Hello everyone, Smite here!

I'm really sorry, I wanted to read 6 or more stories this week, but my health has been pretty bad the last couple of days and I have been quite busy. I couldn't even visit a doctor, which I should definitely do soon. I hope you're all good and healthy and taking care of yourselves.

Let's get to the fics, shall we?

-1-

@rvp32: The Secret Life of Yooa ft. Yooa, Irene

You asked for feedback on this, so lemme give you two quick "fixes" for your otherwise very creative, fun fic:

Change the first part, you know, the one that isn't part of the fic to look different than the rest of the fic-text. I was very confused at first lmao, maybe you could change the font, make some sort of barrier, include more info about the fic (length, kinks, etc)

You tend to repeat yourself quite often in your descriptions. Try to change things up, make them engaging: What is the reader feeling? What do they smell and see? Try to use something other than "You are... You do...", mix up the beginning and the verb.

Really liked it, you got the talent!

-2-

@maemisnippets: Be Care-full with her ft. Mashiro

BEST GIRL BEST GIRL BEST GIRL, for real she is so adorable and pretty and BEST GIRL she has to be in my life and take me to bed and heal my heart awwwww

-3-

@sinswithpleasure: Parental Guidance ft. Taeyeon, Winter (TW)

VERY TABOO; also very hot lmao. I noticed a small mistake though: When Winter and OC get it going, he takes his shirt off---and when Taeyeon joins a minute later, she urges him to take it off? A small mistake in an otherwise great piece of SPOILER hot incest.

-4-

@haiabd: Lottery Earnings: Anniversary Affair ft. Choerry, ???

Read this series and be surprised by what's to come. It's very hentai like in many regards (e.g. stumbling into lewd postures, oooops), but that is kinda the charm. I love it when y'all mix idols from different groups, WE NEED MORE CROSSOVER SMUTS!

See y'all next week <3

#mondayofappreciation #kpop smut #girl group smut #female idol smut #male reader smut #loona smut #got the beat smut #snsd smut #aespa smut #red velvet smut #oh my girl smut #kepler fluff #girl group fluff

[over-particular]

minimalist self-care habits

One of the biggest misconceptions about taking care of yourself is the systematic and erroneous association of self-care with extreme consumerism. This idea conveys the image of self-care as something reserved to those who can afford it. The truth is, and many already know this, there are countless ways to be good to yourself without spending more than necessary.

☐ Get enough sleep. A child would need 10 to 12 hours of sleep per night. The average is between 7 and 9 hours for an adult. I can never say it enough, but sleep is an important part of our lives. Value it highly. It's an elementary need: not getting enough sleep puts us at risk of developing numerous chronic diseases: such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart failure, coronary heart disease and some types of cancer. You are also more likely to suffer a stroke.

☐ Turn the volume down. Since I'm riding the wave of how we 21st century people are neglecting our health, I also want to stress the importance of auditory health. If, like me, you love to spend hours with headphones on, consider turning down the volume. I know it's much more enjoyable to experience it fully, but having gone through the terrible experience of tinnitus, I bitterly regret it. There is a simple way to track your auditory health: please check your smartphone's headphone safety features.

☐ Don't neglect your medical appointments. I have always been very anxious about it. Not to the point of pulling my hair out, but I used to postpone my appointment so much that I sometimes forgot why I even wanted to go. There are countless of reasons why we may not like to go to the doctor, but the truth is that health issues simply cannot wait. It is equally important to go see your doctor even if you think you are in perfect condition.

☐ Be physically active. Always keep in mind that your body, like your mind, needs to be stimulated. Besides allowing you to manage your weight more effectively, sport improve your brain health, reduces health risks and strengthens both your muscles and your bones.

☐ Watch your language. It's more personal, but it introduces a sense of discipline into your mind. The turns of phrase, the informal language, the way we speak, the choice of words, the syntax… Speaking is the perfect expression of the mind. This does not mean abolishing the use of crude words, but rather regaining control, becoming master of your language again. Your words should never exceed your thoughts. In my opinion, a rich language reflects the attention the speaker pays to it. When was the last time you learned a new word?

☐ Clean your space. The cleanliness of your living space has a big impact on your productivity. A messy space can lead to a messy mind. Home is, for many of us, the place we feel most comfortable: keeping your living space clean and organized naturally improves the quality of your life, your sleep and your health. Clean regularly, let the sun shine in and air out daily.

☐ Avoid ads. Easier said than done. But try not to have your mind parasitized by the multitude of advertisements we are flooded with. I don't watch television. I do have access to a music platform so I don't have to deal with the constant stream of ads on YouTube.

☐ Go for a walk. Pretending to discover your city or town anew can do wonders for a mind in need of a little distraction. Check out some of the free events that may be happening near you. Visit a park you've never been to before.

☐ Give yourself a reason to wait. Try to establish a ritual of patience. In other words… You stop binge watching every new show you start and you take your time to appreciate it.

☐ Stimulate your mind. The internet has given us more ways than ever to keep our minds busy. For those who know me a little, I am a big fan of reading. And if physical books can indeed be expensive, you can find some really good ones for free in .pdf format. In fact, some kind souls have even gone so far as to share entire drives of them on Tumblr... Going further in my reflection, I think that the scourge of our century is the intellectual lethargy: everything is at our fingertips, why bother reading a whole book when I have access to a detailed summary of only a few pages? Beyond the spiritual enrichment, it is also a proof of patience to seize a book and give it three hours of your time. I sincerely believe that as human beings, we owe it to ourselves to keep our senses and our minds alert. Reading is a great way to exercise our brain as it helps stimulate our cognitive abilities. It allows us to develop our capacity for memorization, reflection, analysis and imagination. Try coloring for adults (yes, it's a thing: ■ ■). There are also many games for adults online with the aim of stimulating memory and improving concentration (■, ■.). Try solving online puzzles, fake criminal investigations, math problems? Learn how to code (with Codecademy for example, which offers many courses for free). Take language courses. Many general knowledge quizzes are also available to anyone who is interested (■) . The web is a real goldmine in terms of resources and many are available for free.

☐ Finally, this list would be meaningless without me asking you to learn to relax. Give yourself a day off if you need to. It is essential to take it easy, to get your nose out of your planning, to look up from your screen and breathe in some fresh air through the window. I advise all those who try to relax to start a digital detox: we must learn to relax independently, without a screen and regain control over the objects of our stimulation.

My lists are intended to be personal. If you find them useful, that's great. Feel free to rewrite them! Don't hesitate to ask questions or send me your comments and ideas for next articles.

#self improvement #motivation #that girl #weight loss #evening routine #discipline #inspiration #self care #growth #positivity #studyblr #productivity #becoming that girl #becoming her #it girl #feminine #divine feminine #goal #morning routine #routine