#i should write a note

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order #at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers #90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies” #serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent #like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries #but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate #and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited... #i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something #cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare #and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest. #it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!' #'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members... #..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)' #anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language? #maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity #and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media #and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons #and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators #instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period #anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value” #and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives #so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs) #happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world #(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills) #and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on... #...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin #oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works? #beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value #and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the #important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)

[ribbittrobbit]

these kids are incredibly stressed out

#needed to update my bad kids drawing bec seeing it + the numerous breakups made me sad #so core bad kids only for now #please note very specific sneaker and height headcanons #kristen should be more buff but girly's got a lot going on she for sure isn't at her peak #the bad kids #fantasy high junior year #dimension 20 #d20 fantasy high #fig faeth #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #adaine abernant #kristen applebees #fabian seacaster #fabian is the only one with weapons bec he is incredibly extra #fhjy #dropout #fantasy high #d20 fanart #i need to work on more comics but rn i cant write bec real life projects are killing me #but character art is so fun and i needed to experience joy so i gave myself an afternoon to finish this and now i gotta stop #character art #ribbittrobbit

[ao3-crack]

(x)

#archive of our own #ao3 stuff #ao3 quotes #archive of our own quotes #fanfic #fanfic quotes #funny #ao3 #ao3 notes #working title: ??????? oh no #me with literally everything I write #y’all should see my google docs

[the-golden-weapons]

I’d like to think Jay and Nya are very funny because they are both mechanics, but in entirely opposite ways:

Nya has all her tools in proper order. In her workshop, there is never any scrap part going unused. Any notes and blueprints since the ripe age of 12 have been carefully stored and saved, no matter how much she cringes when looking back on them. The Samurai X designs and revisions have their own file cabinet as well as digital backups. Her measurements are double and triple checked, even though she probably had it right the first time. Every choice she makes is calculated and buffed out, from the interlocking gears to the paint job. She prides on her work on being practical and aesthetic, thank you very much.

Jay, meanwhile, is the definition of fuck around and find out. Blueprints? Who needs em, anyways? The only thing vaguely resembling “notes” in his work area are scrap pieces of paper with the most round-about mathematics ever (complete with indecipherable short-hand and a stick figure drawing of Jay holding a blowtorch, naturally.) He will change up plans on the fly and casually stick his hands in very sharp moving parts like there is no tomorrow. Safety equipment? He grew up in a junkyard. He had a wrench in his hand before he could walk. Yeah, no, he’s pretty sure he’s fine, thanks.

#what i’m getting at is jay and nya are both Very Smart and help balance each other out #nya is a perfectionist to the point of frustration and jay tends to be lax on things he should probably handle with more caution #the blueprints thing is just funny to me #because it leads nicely into my hc for dragons rising for when jay and sora meet and she eventually asks him to explain a past device #the next morning jay comes out with pretty clean sparkling blueprints with step by step notes explaining his thoughts #and nya just wrings him by the neck when she sees it #she’s like I HAVE BEEN ASKING YOU FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS— #jay walker #jay ninjago #nya jiang #nya ninjago #ninjago #jaya #ninjago jaya #golden writings

[capn-o-my-soul]

okie i made an art but there is some context to it

so my sister was studying in the haunted theology building on her college campus because it was open and it had rooms to study in . and since it is a theology building lots of people who like catholicism go in there. so my sister finishes working on her paper or whatever and it's like 2 am and she sees a piece of paper in the hallway that says "what is your favorite saint?" with a bunch of names of catholic saints that people like that they put on there. so my sister (an atheist) makes up a fake saint name (st. chadwick the bold) and writes it on the paper.

however, since it was darkish and lateish she accidentally wrote "bold" in a way that it could be misinterpreted as "bald"

now the next day she's having a movie night with friends and tells them about it and one of them draws a very reverent, very bald monk-saint on a whiteboard . and then they make a prayer to st. chadwick the b[o/a]ld

and then when she told me about it this weekend i thought i could use it as a chance for calligraphy / gothic graphic design practice so i made this

behold

#ok some notes abt its imperfections: #yeag i made the capital s in Saint too weird (i didn't like it at first then tried to fix it then failed) #and it's kinda blank (i wasn't sure what else to put) #and it's kinda smudged #and i didn't erase the drafting lines because i thought it would further smudge the ink because i didn't want to wait for it to dry #because my sister had to leave soon and get back to campus #and also the B at the beginning of the “prayer” is very weirdly colored and designed i should have chosen a better color and design #calligraphy #art #saints #oh also #i was writing the dies irae with my calligraphy pen and i accidentally imprinted some letters into my finger with ink #so if you see some really light smudged letters in between the lines that is because i put my finger there and accidntally stamped those #letters into the paper #but yea it's really bad i just wanted to share it with somebody

[caelanglang]

Gravity’s Gentleness...

Wooly Sunflowers (Eriophyllum lanatum) symbolize “Gentle Strength” 

source: Flowerpaedia by Cheralyn Darcey

This is heavily inspired by Story and Nawy’s (i’m too shy to tag them ><;;) ramble about Chuuya knowing (or not) how to be gentle... please read it! It’s so rich of brainworms and vitamin C(huuya)!!

#i'm trying to get back into writing (note: trying) #i hope the words and transitions don't feel too off i'm not that proud of my writing for this one jahklsjdfh #ofc theres flower language ehehehe #hi Story hi Nawy if you see this let me know if i should tag you guys for my future works with inspos taken from yall #yall dont know how much brainworms you guys feed me whenever i open this app actually #bsd #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya #Nakahara Chuuya #prompt taken from #chuuya week 2023 #chuuyaweek23 #my art #my writing #my comic

[ladylightning]

thinking about a version of supernatural in which john is never shown. his echo and looming shadow still impacts the narrative and brothers the same, but we as the audience never see him. he exists only in the winchester mythos, in stories, in legend, in scripture. the one true god of the narrative, the forever absent father, a holy ghost. he seeps into the negative space of the narrative and he haunts his children all the same, but if there was ever one thing the show should have ever held as too holy for the eyes of the audience, it should have been the face of the father god.

#supernatural #spn #john winchester #for the record i don't think we ever should have seen chuck either but that is a different post #started writing this in the notes of someone else's shit and i was like ok get a room

[nat-20s]

Martin Blackwood writing extremely mediocre poetry for himself and himself alone in his late 20s is like soooo endearingly cringey but then YOU try writing extremely mediocre poetry for yourself and yourself alone in your late 20s and it's like OH. OH GIRL I GET IT!

#martin blackwood #tma #literally like. its so fun and soothing #everyone should have something that they enjoy and are aggressively mediocre at #also you'll never guess who's got some insomnia and is writing poetry in my notes app #i definitely WONT be sooo cringefail and post it in the morning #and it definitely WON'T be thinly veiled as being about doctor who

[genericpuff]

vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once” #i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

[hedgehog-moss]

The autumn growing season in the greenhouse is coming to an end, so here are my plant reviews!

1. Basil: 11/10

I’ve never had so much basil before! I planted it when it was a baby and it grew to the size of a baobab. I’ve made SO many jars of pesto, I can make pasta all winter. The basil plant started suffering from the cold around mid-November and I harvested the last leaves, but it grew amazingly as long as indoor temperatures remained above 10°C at night.

2. Bell pepper: 10.5/10

The only reason I’m ranking it lower is because I like basil better, but I’ve had a constant supply of beautiful green peppers all throughout the autumn! The plant is very low-maintenance and bravely produced peppers in 35° greenhouse temperatures in early September and 10° temperatures in November without a complaint.

3. Green beans: 10/10

I love fresh green beans. I planted different kinds, purple ones and green ones, and discovered with a bit of surprise that the former grow a deep purple colour and then become green when you cook them. It’s a fun plant. And they grow very well in vertical growing towers!

4. White onions: 9/10

They didn’t thrive in my planters for some reason (they seemed to get smothered by the other plants around them) but they were very happy by themselves in the vertical tower. Will keep that in mind for next year.

5. Kohlrabi: 8/10

Kohlrabi shouldn’t be so high in the list because I don’t like eating it all that much, but it grows so enthusiastically and then it looks like little green aliens going \o/ in their towers, it’s just a very endearing plant.

6. Lettuce: 7/10

The lettuces (I’m making this word countable) in the towers grew amazingly in September thanks to having their feet constantly soaking in water, while their sisters in the planters were suffering from the heat. But as soon as the weather grew colder and more humid all the tower lettuces became covered with mildew :( Meanwhile the planter lettuces were having their 15 minutes of fame (see second picture)—until the weather got even wetter in November and they finally succumbed to mildew as well. So I’ll note that tower lettuce is good for summer and planter lettuce for early autumn, and then the greenhouse gets too humid for healthy lettuce.

6. Parsley: 5/10

Parsley is in the shame corner. It grew very very well in its tower—so well that its roots started colonising the little pipe that brings water, so the pipe became clogged and water stopped circulating in the tower and the parsley died. That is the definition of shooting yourself in the foot, parsley, you short-sighted plant. You wanted instant water gratification and ended up with nothing. There’s a lesson to be learnt here. (The lesson is to put parsley at the bottom of the tower rather than at the top where the pipe is.)

7. Miscellanies: my aubergine plant produced stakhanovically in September and then shrivelled up and died as soon as October (and cold nights) started. Definitely a summer-only plant (at least in a non-heated greenhouse). Fennel grew incredibly well, both in the planters and in the towers, but I discovered (I’d never tried it before) that it tastes exactly like anise and I hate anise. I tried cooking it in a gratin as I figured cheese makes everything okay, but not even cheese could make fennel tolerable to me. No more fennel. Arugula (<- the superior word. Boycott rocket) grew well but had trouble asserting itself next to my giant basil plant. I’ll try to give it more space to grow next time, poor arugula got so squished.

And finally:

8. Fish (not rated for reasons explained below, but it’s hard to imagine what a fish could do wrong)

The point of the vertical growing towers is to try aquaponic gardening—they are connected via pipes and a pump to a water tank in which I would like to raise fish. The idea of aquaponics is that the fish and the plants have a symbiotic relationship, with the fish’s waste fertilising the water for the plants, and the plants’ roots cleaning the water for the fish as they absorb these nutrients. It’s recommended to start with goldfish for the first year as they are quite sturdy, then once you know how your greenhouse behaves in every season, the water temperature changes etc, you can try other kinds (including edible fish).

^ So I had four little pioneers in an aquarium in my kitchen waiting to move to the greenhouse—but I needed to stabilise the pH of the water (among other things) before bringing in the fish, and that proved very difficult! My pH had daily fluctuations that I tried to tame by adding potassium bicarbonate or varying the % of rainwater vs. spring water in the tank, and nothing worked. I thought it was because I had put so many plants in the towers, but as I started removing the summer plants and the pH didn’t improve, I finally tried putting my pH sensor in a bucket of distilled water to see if it worked... and it turned out that the sensor was malfunctioning. I bought a new sensor, who immediately told me that my pH was perfectly adequate. I felt daft.

Anyway, my brave pioneer fish were moved to the greenhouse last week and they seem to be enjoying their new tank (they’ve got lots of plant roots dipping in the water to nibble on or hide behind), so I’ve ordered the rest of the goldfish gang! My greenhouse will become a lot more populated tomorrow, stay tuned :)

#crawling along #i procrastinate on writing posts sometimes and then they become incredibly long monster posts instead of several little posts i'm sorry! #it should be noted that pandolf was freed from his glass jail after that first photo was taken #i just think his presence improves photographs

[caramelarchive]

could I request something like the reader deciding to give L a lil massage. It started out in their head as smth sweet/relaxing until it became high-key concerning cuz every press of their hands draws out a deafening crack

Let's Try a Massage ╾ L

BAHHAHAHAHHAA the fact that this is not somehow canon is a crime, I cannot. anyway, thanks for asking! let's go! I have moved to my main @lawlietscaramels please follow there for new content!

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

"Boo," you say, coming up behind L to rest your hands on his shoulders and your head besides his. He gives a quick hum of acknowledgement and you peck his cheek.

"Hello, there." After a minute, he turns away from the computer's bright screen, rubbing his eyes and rolling his shoulders as he turns to look at you. L gives a yawn, one of the rare signs he trusts and loves you enough to let his stoic guard down, and blinks sleepily at you.

Your hands brush along his shoulders.

"Ready to take a break yet?" you tease gently, poking at his neck.

"I suppose so." L turns back towards his computer, one finger tapping against the j key and the other prodding at his lip. "I don't think I can do anything else at the moment," he decides, and turns the monitor off, scooping a forkful of cake into his mouth as he does so. "Did you want something?"

L spins his chair around to face you at this question, his head tilting up as he peers at you from the seat. One of his hands reaches up to rub at his shoulder and he gives a cross groan, not breaking eye contact.

"...Did you want something?" you ask, smiling and poking at his shoulders. L groans again and bats your hands away.

"I am simply a little sore."

You grin as a wonderful idea comes into your head: something sweet and cute, to help L relax after yet another long day of hard work.

"In that case, I can help!"

It's a difficult feat to pick L up, so you just roll his chair over to the couch and push him onto the cushions.

The detective turns his head to the side, so he is able to keep his eyes on you, but does not make any move to protest. L just shifts around a little, groaning unhappily, and waits for you to do... whatever it is you're going to do.

Pressing your hands together for a minute to warm them up, you eye your partner up and down.

...Definitely, a massage is required here.

You decide to plonk yourself down on his back for easy access, your hands reaching up to L's shoulders. Your fingers probe into the skin and L gives a small sigh of gratitude. A smile spreads across your face, as you're obviously able to remove some of the stress he has placed on his body by scrunching it into a ball all of the time.

And then a crunch.

You almost fall onto the floor, scared out of your wits. "L! The human body should not make that noise!"

"My apologies."

You sigh and stroke his hair for a moment. "I think this proves that you need some sort of assistance with your back, my love."

The gesture, which you thought to be sweet, becomes more and more concerning as you continued. Wherever you place your hands, there is a dramatic crunch, a crack, all very loud and very not normal.

"L, when was the last time you saw a doctor? Or an acupuncturist or a chiropractor or a physiotherapist?"

He just shakes his head.

You press your hands into his back and it cracks in protest. You take your hands off him and wring them in dismay.

"I just wanted to give you a massage, and now you sound like a whip-person..."

L gives a little chuckle. "Yes... Perhaps a different approach is in order, my dear Y/N." He shifts again, turning to look at you once more.

"I'll run you a bath."

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

what if I wrote a little bath scene? nothing nsft as I have said but I mean,, rose petals in the water, bringing in a rubber ducky or a plastic ship... lemme know if you want that as a part two!!

#this was a little short but i adored the request #anon you should request more stuff #death note #writing #fluff #crack #l lawliet #death note fanfiction #dn #l x reader #l x you #x reader #quick read #short story #shorts #death note x reader #death note imagines #l lawliet x reader #l death note #light yamagi #misa amane #lei writes #lei's lawliet

[aquickstart]

ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.

another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!

farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.

but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.

but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.

but the important thing is this.

farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.

farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.

the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.

as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.

but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.

and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.

to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).

to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.

and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?

but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.

the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.

so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.

#saltburn #farleigh start #i think someone mentioned how the race commentary was fleeting in that scene abt his mom but i disagree #it runs thru the whole movie #because oliver is white and because they're pitted against each other #im not saying its the best commentary ever and also like the movie is not about it at all #but it's there and it's pretty prominent #also on a completely different note can we talk about how oliver correctly assumed everyone at saltburn desires him carnally #dude pulled all the bitches by being strange and off-putting. i mean i completely get it. completely get it. i'd fold so fast you've no ide #also while i was writing i realized that yes indeed both farleigh and oliver perform for felix and its so fascinating #and it works for oliver because of course it does because hes white #anyway! again! let me know if this sucks #in like any way at all #i needed a masterpost of all and every thought i have about farleigh #i think this pretty much covers it so i'll let it go now #HES SO. like do you UNDERSTAND #the DEFINITION of doomed by the narrative but i LOVE that he survives #as he SHOULD #emerald is so right. he does come back and quickstart just torture each other in that house forever. besties for life #god im gonna shut up now this is so horrendously long #mine #saltburn journaling

[fatuismooches]

I feel like we don't talk more about how dottore feels about his s/o being zandy's parental figure, his younger self, no less. Like, he would feel a certain way when reader holds zandy like a parent would and cooing at him. When reader picks up zandy (when they've managed to gain that strength) from under the armpits and carry him like a child.

YES! In general, Dottore didn't expect you to become so attached to all of his segments. He anticipated you getting to know them and all, due to loneliness and other things, but you love them all very much. Which is a miscalculation on his part, he probably should have expected it with your nature. Though, he's not sure whether to be flattered or annoyed that your love for him runs that deep. If he had it his way, he'd keep all your attention on him... but you seem all too willing to divide your attention, despite there being only one of you and a dozen or so of them... He sort of applauds your management.

However, regarding Zandy his feelings seem unclear. It's clear that he created the segments to preserve his perspectives and help him further his knowledge, but there was no real relationship outside of that. However, for you, it's the opposite. Each relationship you have with the segments is unique, especially your one with Dottore's child self. At first, the Harbinger didn't pay much attention to it. But it became increasingly obvious how much you loved Zandy.

From the moment you met the kid, you chose to open yourself up to him fully without any reserve. You chose to indulge Zandy's every childish whim and listened to him, no matter how dumb it seemed. You chose to love him, something his birth parents didn't do even though they were supposed to. (And you choose to carry him in your arms despite lacking the strength... apparently, you promised him the first thing you'd do once you recover was to give Zandy a proper piggyback ride.) Is his child self truly that lovable? The same one deemed a monster, a heretic? If he looks at your actions, then the apparent answer is a resounding yes.

Still, despite these feelings, he doesn't say a word to you about them. He merely looks on contemplatively, still barely uttering any words to his child self. Maybe if you keep trying, you can get the two, so vastly different on the outside, yet perhaps similar on the inside, to become closer...?

#smooches talks #dottore love notes <3 #zandy bb <3 #fragile reader <3 #omggg i need to write more abt zandy #maybe i should write a fic centered around you zandy and prime dottore #THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS PRETTY FUN... hmm #WHAT IF ITS LIKE. the 5+1 concept (five times they didn't do something vs the one time they did) #five times he ignored zandy vs the one time he didn't??? ok maybe the writing juices r flowing!! I MAY COOK!

[onebarofsoap]

played pokemon platinum recently and swept the league with nothing but my overleveled team of two guys named steamed bun and egg tart 💪

#pkmn #pokemon #pkmn dppt #pokemon fanart #soap tries art #soap's suds #torterra #luxray #remember that one post about winning with your favorites. yeah #please excuse my chinese handwriting 👍 just wanted to write it there so you all could understand the sheer power of baobao #i wish i could have made this a trainersona but well. i'm the frog keychain so its fine #some design notes: #baobao is a live oak torterra variant bc i wanted to put resurrection ferns on him #danta is just. well i just looked up a lion so i could make her funny looking. its like when u have to hold a cat's head back do u get it #anyway that should be enough tags im tired #to every dppt player i hope u like the nostalgia trip ❤

[feelingthedisaster]

if this gets more than 100 notes i will write that chapter

if this gets more than 200 notes i will write two chapters

if this gets more than 500 notes i will power through with who-knows-where-it-comes-from energy and write at least four more chapters (they're short chapters, but still)

if this gets more than 1000 i will post that other fic that has been in my drafts for five months

#should i add tags? #not bc i want to procrastinate #but the point of this post is not procrastine #hmmm complicate topic #i'll add them but not a lot of them #writer #writeblr #writing #writing is hard #ao3 #ao3 fic #ao3 writer #thats it #dont get notes i want to procrastinate