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#i show up wearing this for breakfast wyd
ebthecelebrity · 5 years
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Don’t Let Mercury Retrograde Get You F*cked Up!
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With the Mercury Retrograde in effect until July 31st, I have definitely been quieter. This is the dreadful time of the year where planet Mercury moves in an opposite direction to planet Earth.  Mercury is the planet associated with Communication. As a major believer in astrology, I have always been intrigued with the planets and stars and am a big believer that we are balls of energy walking on earth.  
Energy never lies.
With the retrograde miscommunication, technical errors, and angry verbal blow-ups are expected. This is the time to OBSERVE, NOT ABSORB. If you observe the energy around you, you don’t have to absorb none of it. Remember, every action doesn’t deserve a reaction.  With this being said, over the past week, I have been observant and really shaking my damn head at the things I am seeing with grown ass adults. I mean,  do I really have to write this article on etiquette?  Why yes, yes I do. Somewhere, we lost our integrity and human empathy. From childish social media posts, petty family members and high school equivalent drama at work, the retrograde’s energy is suffocating me!  It could very well be the energy bouncing off the retrograde, or it could simply be the lack of decent manners.  
I wanted to share 8 etiquette rules that I live by.  Remind you, I am only 36 years young and I have a lot to learn.  Some of these, I, too, must remember and never step outside of the lines of respect. No one is perfect. If you are over 30 years old and you have to be reminded of these, it’s time to sit down, self reflect and repair your behavior.  
1.  When dropping a friend/lover/family member off at their home, wait until they have fully unlocked their door and went inside their house before leaving.  I can’t tell you how much this bothers my spirit.  It screams, “IDGAF if you truly get home safe or not.”  A similar situation I had to learn from was when I was in my early 20s.  I dated a guy who lived in a not so great part of town.  After a night of clubbing, drinking excessively and even sexual relations, this guy would carelessly fall asleep.  I would too sometimes but then realize I had to wake up to head home as it was still dark outside. This guy would never wake up, causing me to venture outside alone.  My first pet peeve with this is if you can’ t handle your alcohol, don’t overindulge and leave your date to fend for themselves.  I would always say a silent prayer that once I walked outside to my car no one would be hiding behind some bushes to kidnap or rob me.  This behavior is inexcusable.  Always make sure your loved one is fully in the house before driving off.  I am not only discussing this as something to be aware of in bad neighborhoods, but what if that person lost their keys and their phone was dead?
2.   Please don’t talk loudly on the phone in public.   Okay, we have ALL done this. Sometimes you are knee deep into a conversation that just can’t be finished when you walk inside the store, however, to be loud and obnoxious is NOT the business.  The other day my son and I were in Food Lion picking up a few groceries.  I was strategically looking at the barbeque sauces.  Reading the back of each bottle with the goal to find the one with the least amount of artificial ingredients and no high fructose corn syrup.  Two young girls came into the store and were engaged in a phone conversation via face time with someone. “Ayeeee! It’s a hot girl summer girl! Turn up! Drink something!” I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Then, the worst happened, they strolled right down the sauce aisle where I casually stood.  The loud laughter, yelling and inappropriate conversation almost sent me over the edge. Mind you, it’s a place and a time to turn up. Hell, I still partake in a light turn up periodically.  As we age, many of us find perfect peace in the comfort of our home.  We dread leaving home to visit the grocery store, hair salon, barbershop, riding public transportation, doctor’s office, etc due to this very reason.  It’s instant anxiety.  I understand that not all public places are quiet, but it would be a lot more enjoyable if we all respected each other’s peace in any environment. PS: It’s still a hot girl summer though, but can we leave the grocery store out of it? Thanks Megan Thee Stallion J
3. Call before you stop over someone’s house.  As stated before, your home is your haven; therefore, if you see someone pop up in the driveway without a prior notice, proceed to ignore the doorbell.  Now, back in the day, this may have been common as the development of technology left room for unexpected guests.  Now in the 21stCentury, we communicate via phone or text.  You can also send a dm, type it in a status update, or email the other party.  There are too many ways to communicate a visit to show a lack of respect of popping up. The next time you even think this is a good idea, ask yourself if the other party possibly worked a long shift, has to cook dinner for their family, has extensive house chores or may be trying to find the energy to do homework with a young child.  To selfishly barge into someone’s structured day without notice, even to drop off an item cannot be tolerated.
4.  Never go to a party empty handed.  Please do not be this person!  I don’t know a single soul that is not on a budget.  Even the wealthiest of people enjoy Wendys “4 for 4” and clips coupons.  Any working, middle class individual knows that throwing any type of party can be costly. You have to brace yourself for the upcoming energy bill after your summer party for the amount of air condition that you provided the guests.  Freeloaders are not welcome in 2019 and beyond.  This shit stops TODAY!   If you know someone who does this, it’s time to take his or her name off the guest list going forward.  I sit back and am puzzled on how can people show up to an event held in the comfort of another’s home and just “show up.”   Unless the host advises you that you don’t need to bring anything,  that would be the only time to show up empty handed.  It can be as small as a bag of ice or paper cups to as large as a sheet cake or a bucket of fried chicken.  My go to is always a bottle of wine.  You can never go wrong with that.  Worst case scenario, no one drinks it and you finish the bottle yourself.
4.  If you borrow money and it took you longer than expected to pay that person back, give a little interest.  Okay, hear me out.  Many of us have loaned a close person some money and they haven’t been able to pay us back in time.  We thank God that we are able to help, but there is also that possibility that your own finances get messed up in the process. I have witnessed people getting a loan from someone who are awaiting their loan to be paid back.  It could be as little as $30, which may be the monthly Internet bill.  If we were all able to acquire a loan from major banks, we’d all be paying interest anyway.
5. Never put your phone on the table while eating a meal with a guest.  I’ve struggled with this the most. I’ve learned that sacred time is just that, SACRED.  After you’ve snap chatted a pic of your delicious plate of food, place your phone in a purse or pocket and engage. In the constant need of communication and the fast paced social media interactions, having the phone on the table screams that the phone is your guest, and not your physical one.  Taking a break off technology for some old fashioned conversation is the new wave.  As soon as the meal is over, then you can check the 56 likes and notifications you received on the pics of your crab legs.
6. Don’t try to build a romantic relationship over the text messages. Tinder, Bumble, POF, and the many other dating applications have made it very convenient to meet potential mates over the phone, but once you have had that icebreaker, what’s next?  This is a lazy approach to continue to court someone you are very interested in via text.  How would you know that you hate the way they chew without more in person interaction? I understand that sometimes many introverted people urge to date too.  Being standoffish and contacting via text message will only cause the other party to look the other way when they find someone who starts actually making plans with them. Getting to know a person takes physical contact, not sex, just physical chemistry. It’s important to see if a person’s energy matches yours.  Instead, call and say “I’m making breakfast, come by”, “ face time to ask them how their day went and analyze their facial expressions or plan a weekend date at the park to have some one on one.  Actions are proven to show great results in terms of dating and for the life of God, STOP TEXTING “WYD” !
7.  Stop asking a Black Woman if she is wearing a wig/weave.  * sigh *  The fact that I am saying this in 2019 is beyond me.  I love to change my hair up, as it gives me a sense of empowerment.  I grew up thinking my hair needed to be straightened and while there is nothing wrong with that, I have grown into acceptance of the hair that grows out of my scalp. I worked with a woman who always made a big deal about when I changed my hair. In our 9 am weekly meetings, she would broadcast to the entire staff that I have new hair.  I felt all eyes on my scalp, many wondering if it was grown out of my scalp or not.  This irritated the shit out of me. I am here to do a job, not to be discussed. Please do not ask a black woman, “Is all that your hair?”  You can be another black woman and do this, making it unacceptable. Unless that woman puts the information out there for your curiosity,  then please just don’t.  Purchasing an additional hairpiece is not anyone’s business.  A simple, “Your hair looks great!” compliment will suffice.  
8. Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, EVER tell someone they look like they gained weight! This is self explainatory.  I don’t have to go any further. Next person who tells me this, WILL get punched in the face. 
Now, this is just a few and I am confident there are many many more etiquette practices that we can live by.  If you know me personally, this is not a jab at you.  It’s simple rules to live by.  Let’s make the world a better and more caring place by practicing respect and love at all times.  Now, let me go sage my entire house and myself.  Time to meditate, pray and just observe. Happy Self Care Sunday!
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zodiac-war · 6 years
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Hello! I'm sorry if it's asking for a lot since it's two characters but is it possible to get relationship headcanons for the twins like the ones you did for Nezumi? If you can't do it for both I would prefer dragon. Thank you so much! And keep fighting the good fight to keep pedophilia out of the Juuni Taisen fandom! It's more appreciated than you could ever imagine.
I will do my best to keep fighting! We’ve still got a long way to go. Thank you for the support ♥
Snake:
Let’s face it, he’s a fuckboy. Texting “wyd” at ungodly hours of the night, pulling the “showering without me? ;)” card at every opportunity, etc
Flirts by teasing and pulling little harmless pranks to get s/o to laugh
Gives his s/o a hell of a lot of extravagant gifts and cash since after every heist he’s got more money than he knows what to do with
If his partner isn’t paying attention, he’ll gently put one of his pets on their shoulders and gets amused by s/o’s reaction to the reptile slithering/climbing all over them
Quite often he asks his s/o to take photos of him and his pets for the blog
He’ll sleep in late and blow off plans without any prior notice but will feel guilty if his partner is upset by it so he puts in effort to be nicer afterwards
He’s nothing if not spontaneous and reckless. He plans huge surprises for his partner and loves seeing their face light up with excitement
He’s clingy in an arrogant way. Arm thrown around shoulders, puts his legs over s/o’s lap while they’re trying to watch tv, etc
Dragon:
The more mature and reserved of the two, he will be more considerate towards his s/o than his brother would be but he doesn’t like showing affection when there are others around
He expresses love in little ways: making breakfast in bed, randomly bringing s/o their favourite drink, robbing their ex, etc
Likes showing off and always tries to impress his partner. It doesn’t always end well but he heals quickly
Rooftop dates are common. If there aren’t supposed to be humans in a particular spot, he’s already scooped up his s/o and flown them both up there
Again, spends big bucks on his partner. He’d just have wasted it anyway so it might as well go to someone who deserves it (in his mind, at least)
He’s a bit emotionally distant and clueless which can lead to offence and misunderstandings, but he always keeps his cool in bad situations so any fights between him and s/o  get resolved quickly
His fashion sense is….interesting, but he trusts his s/o’s judgement and likes wearing outfits they put together for him
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sexatoxbridge · 7 years
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TWO THINGS I LOVE: SURVEYS AND TALKING ABOUT MYSELF
So @vocabularryonthemind​ did this survey the other day and I was reading through like, “heh…dat me” because we’re the same person in different bodies. Naturally I thought, “She’ll tag me in this.” THEN SHE DIDN’T. And I was like, “I can’t BELIEVE Y-” so then she tagged me in it, but I’m gonna pretend that part didn’t happen. 
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Anyway here’s a bunch of information literally no one asked for.
I wasn’t kidding about us being the same person so I’ve taken screen shots of some of her answers that were verbatim what I would’ve said anyway. Here’s a visual representation of us as people made by Choe:
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Dat me.
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Dat her. 
1: Are you named after someone?
 My mother got the idea for my name when she ran into her ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend because that’s normal and sane. She liked his new girlfriend’s name so that’s what’s on the records. If I was a boy I was going to be called Maxamillion because my mum is an extra ass heaux™.   
2: When was the last time you cried? I…actually don’t know. Which is pretty cool. Not that I’m like anti-crying or anything, it’s just that I’ve been livin la vida loca and having a good time. So no crying for me as of late. 
3: Do you like your handwriting?
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4: What is your favorite lunch meat?
 Prosciutto…I eat it as a meal sometimes.  
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I’m so proud of our 32 year-old son, John Mulaney.
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7: Do you use sarcasm?
 I…don’t know what that is…
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8: Do you still have your tonsils?
 I do.
9: Would you bungee jump?
 I actually almost bungee jumped off of the Stratosphere casino in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago but it was like $120 so I decided to just do the roller coaster instead. So, I would. If it didn’t interfere with my drinking and gambling funds. 
10: What is your favorite kind of cereal?
 I’m not really a breakfast person.
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Okay but I’m like freakishly strong for my size…my uncle calls me She Hulk. Before I became a coxswain I was a rower but I’m only 5′3 which is about a foot shorter than you want to be for rowing, but because I was fueled by rage and a vendetta to prove everyone wrong I ended up always making the top boats thanks to my JLo booty and freakishly strong legs.  
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Livin dat Lactose Intolerant Lyf™
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14: What is the first thing you notice about people?
 Their bum. 
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15: Red or pink?
 
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Would we call his lips red or pink? 
16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself?
 My ovaries. 0/10 would not recommend. 
17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? UK pants as in underpants? Or US pants as in trousers? UK – blue. US – I don’t wear trousers. I’ve got tights on. And dark brown Uggs. 
18: What was the last thing you ate? Half of a cucumber (whoa! Go crazy!) I had some delicious tacos for lunch though.
19: What are you listening to right now?
 “Minute 5” by a band called Boega, which is a folky-rock song. Hear me out…so Ed Sheeran was on Mista Jam’s show on BBC Radio 1 today and did a “house party playlist” and this was on it. It’s interesting. And if Ed loves it imma give it a try. The weirdest gypsy soulmate shit was that I was all ready to add his tracks to my January playlist (I make one every month of new music I find) and the first song he played was Chance the Rapper “All Night”…and I shit you not, that is the FIRST song I put on my playlist last week.
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 Fate. Ed was meant to be at a wedding I went to a year ago and I was like, “Yes. Gonna woo Ed Sheeran,” but then he was, like, busy or something. Whatever I don’t wanna talk about it. ANYWAY, I’m still convinced I’ll meet him someday and be like, “Yo…remember that playlist you made? WELL-”
20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? 
I don’t fuckin know, man. I don’t think I’ve looked at a crayon in 20 years. If I were an OPI nail varnish colour however I would be “I’m Really Not A Waitress”.
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Mmm…good man smell…or good woman smell…people. My favourite smell is people I’m attracted to. It usually smells like ginger biscuits. But like the combination of someone I’m attracted to and a nice cologne…mmm. 
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Same, except my brofriend. Not her brofriend, although technically her brofriend is the last person I texted to warn him that I’m watching him. We have a rivalry for who is the true Lewis to Choe’s Harreh. I obviously am. ANYWAY, yesterday I ran out of gas so my brofriend brought me some, but he somehow drove right past me and got lost in a car park even though I was just standing by my car shakin my head until I called him to be like, “wyd…” Otherwise, I hate talking on the phone so I avoid speaking on one at all times. 
23: Favorite sport to watch? 
RUGBY
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It’s true, we even look the same. 
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26: Do you wear contacts? Nay. Both my parents are blind as bats, but I was like, “Not today, genetics. NOT TO-DAY,” cos I’ve got 20/20. 
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27: Favorite food to eat?
 Mexican food. Because I’m a MexiCAN. 
28: Scary movies or comedy? Comedy. My favourite films in no particular order are: Old School, Wedding Crashers, Talladega Nights, Superbad…basically that kind of thing. 
29: Last movie you watched?
 I watched John Mulaney’s standup special The Comeback Kid for the sixtieth time the other night.
30: What color of shirt are you wearing?
 I’m wearing a black dress.
31: Summer or winter?
 Summer. I hate being cold. So much so that I’ve adjusted my lifestyle to live in an endless summer where I move between California, Mexico and London at optimum temperature and sunlight times. 
32: Hugs or kisses? Both. But only from dogs.   
33: What book are you currently reading?
 Does fan fiction count?
34: Who do you miss right now? CHOE. WHERE SHE AT. SHE MAKIN ME TAKE THIS SURVEY WHILST SHE’S PROBS DRINKING WHISKEY AND PONTIFICATING ON THINGS. 
35: What is on your mouse pad?
 Mouse pad? Someone’s doing well…
36: What is the last TV program you watched?
 THE OA. So good. 
37: What is the best sound?
 “Fireproof” by One Direction
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I wanted Paul McCartney to be my grandfather when I was younger, but musically…I like them both. 
39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? 
China? I think China. 
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Is being a psychic gypsy heaux™ a talent? I’m savant as hell, but also kind of psychic. Specifically when it comes to randomly putting on the same outfit as Choe. We gross. Don’t look at us. 
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42: People you expect to participate in this survey?
 Every goddamn one of you. If I have to do this WE ALL DO.
I’m tagging Smelly because she the other third of our Gypsy Hoe Network™. @mellygrant​ 
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Dat us.
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skswriting · 7 years
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pink sweater weather
Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Yoongi/Seokjin Words: 1496 Summary: Yoongi likes her pink sweater. Everyone likes Yoongi in her pink sweater. AN: This one is all about phone sex and I’m really bad at phone sex so be warned
ao3 / namjoon / hoseok / taehyung / jimin
Seokjin is very old fashioned when it comes to dating; he likes to bring Yoongi flowers and hold doors open for her and keeps his hand in the place between her shoulder blades rather than her lower back.  He doesn’t ask her to get on her knees to suck him off and cooks her breakfast every morning he stays over even if she’s late and kisses her cheek more than he kisses her lips.  Seokjin didn’t kiss her for a week and a half after their first date and sometimes he only links their pinkies instead of holding her hand and prefers calling to texting most of the time.
All of this is fine. Yoongi loves Seokjin with every fiber of her being, from the way he blushes when she’s a little more forward with him than he’s used to, to the way his eyes are puffy when he wakes up but the first words out of his mouth are, “Good morning beautiful, I love you,”, to the way Seokjin’s mouth slots perfectly over her own like they were once whole but broken in two.
Yoongi doesn’t mind that if she wants to talk to Seokjin she can’t just send a simple, ‘wyd’ text, that she has to actually dial his number (because she actually knows his phone number like she knows her own, could dial it without even thinking about it, has actually done that before and was then pleasantly surprised when Seokjin answered instead of the Chinese takeout place she was trying to call) and hold the phone to her ear and wait for him to answer (which he always does).  She likes the way Seokjin talks on the phone, his voice low and raspy in her ear as they talk about the most mundane of things, Yoongi usually lying in bed and Seokjin usually lying on his couch because he’s always watching shitty reality TV shows.  Seokjin effortlessly makes her laugh and makes her smile and makes her feel giddy all over.
“Good morning sweetheart,” Seokjin groans into the phone and Yoongi smiles.  Seokjin can be hard to wake up sometimes, but he never misses her calls.
“Good morning babe,” she greets back, stretching out on her bed, kicking her blanket off because it’s too hot.  She knew she shouldn’t have worn her pink sweater to bed, but it’s one of Seokjin’s favorite on her and sometimes she likes to send him pictures of her in it and nothing else.
“What are your plans for today?” he asks, voice low and deep in his chest and Yoongi shivers a little at the sound.
“It’s my day off, remember? I’ll probably just straighten up my apartment and spend some quality time with Holly,” at the sound of his name, Holly looks up from the end of the bed where he’s curled up into a little ball. She smiles at him and nudges him with her foot and he licks her toe before laying back down.
“That’s right.  Well, take the day off to rest baby, you definitely deserve it,” Seokjin tells her and she can feel her face flush without her consent, listening to a little rustling on his end before he settles back down.
Yoongi goes to say something but Seokjin speaks up first, “I had a dream about you.”
“Oh, did you now?” Yoongi smiles, “Did I meet your parents again?  Did your mom tell you I was the devil incarnate?”
Seokjin laughs, voice breathy and Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow, “Not exactly… can you tell me what you’re wearing?”
Seokjin’s voice turns into a murmur and Yoongi bites her lip, fisting her comforter.
“What-what do you mean?” she asks, even though Yoongi knows exactly where Seokjin is going with this but she just can’t believe her sweet, innocent boyfriend is trying to have phone sex with her.
“Is it one of those camisoles you wear because you get hot so easily?” he asks, voice pitched lower than low and Yoongi lets go of her lip for fear of biting through it.
“No, it’s… it’s that pink sweater you like,” she tells him, letting go of her comforter so she can mess with the hem of her sweater.
Seokjin groans, honest to God groans, and Yoongi’s mouth drops open.
“That’s what you were wearing in my dream,” he tells her and Yoongi snaps her fingers at Holly and motions him off her bed, “You look so pretty in pink; it looks so good against your skin.”
“Seokjin are you… are you touching yourself?” she asks, feeling a jolt of arousal course through her system.  Her panties are already a little damp and she squeezes her thighs together.
“I’m sorry, I am, I should have told you,” he laughs, the sound ending on a moan, “I can’t help it, you were so cute in my dream, spread out on my bed and begging for me.”
Yoongi slips a hand into her panties and the first brush of her fingers against her clit has her taking in a sharp breath.
“Please tell me you’re touching yourself too,” Seokjin says and if Yoongi listens hard enough she can hear the slick sound of his hand on his cock.
“I am,” she admits, “tell me more about your dream.  Tell me what you did to me.”
Seokjin lets out another groan, “I-I had you on your back, your legs over my shoulders.  I was eating you out and I must have been doing a pretty damn good job because you were being so loud and you were pulling on my hair and you tasted so good baby, God you always taste so good.”
Yoongi whimpers, dipping a finger into herself to feel how wet she is, practically dripping at the thought of Seokjin, “T-Tell me more.”
“I didn’t stop until you came all over my tongue and then-” Seokjin stops to pant into the receiver, his breathing ragged as he groans and moans, “-and then I held your legs to the bed and slid right in, you were so wet and hot, so ready to take my cock. And you take my cock so well baby, always feel so good around me.  You were so pliant, so ready to let me do whatever I wanted to you, fuck.”
“Seokjin,” she whines, his swear turning her on, up to three fingers because she’s so eager and pushes her sweater up her chest so she can palm her breasts, “Seokjin, babe, I wish you were here so I could see you, so I could fuck myself on your cock until we both cum.”
“Ah,” Seokjin moans and Yoongi mirrors him.
She can only imagine how hot he looks, hand gripped tight around his cock as he thumbs his slit just the way he likes.  The veins in his arms are probably bulging, his already plump lips more swollen from his constant licking, his face flushed and beautiful.
“Are you gonna cum for me sweetheart?” she asks, her own voice strained from her impending orgasm, “Are you gonna cum to the thought of holding me down and fucking me open?”
Seokjin strangles out what sounds like her name and Yoongi squeezes her eyes shut, applying just enough pressure on her clit to bring her orgasm to a head.  She makes a sound and Seokjin chants her name, talking her through her orgasm and telling her how beautiful she is and how he wishes her could see her face.
There’s a slight crackle as they lay panting, Yoongi cradling her phone between her ear and shoulder as she brushes her non-sticky hand through her hair.
“I-I’m sorry,” Seokjin finally says, suddenly sounding shy, making Yoongi roll her eyes because only her boyfriend could tell her how bad he wanted to fuck her and then apologize for it all in one phone call, “I hope I didn’t catch you off guard I just- I just couldn’t help myself.”
“Is that something you want to do?” she asks instead, “Hold me down?  Dominate me?”
“Babe,” Seokjin takes in a sharp breath, “I could never-”
“It’s okay if you want to,” she cuts him off, “It doesn’t bother me.  I know you wouldn’t purposely hurt me.  Besides, it sounds kind of nice.”
“I-If you’re okay with it it’s something I’d like-”
“But only if you choke me.”
“Yoongi,” Seokjin hisses, “How can you say that so calmly?”
“Because it’s not a big deal.  And I mean choke me with your hands, not like, choke me with your dick.”
“It’s too early for you,” he says and she can only imagine how red his face is, “I’m hanging up.”
“Don’t you-!”
But the dial tone greets her and Yoongi looks at the screen, greeted by her background of her and Seokjin making dumb kissy faces at each other, “That asshole.”
She huffs as her phone vibrates, a text coming in.
from: Jinnie 9:21am
im coming around, ill see you soon, I love you princess
Yoongi smiles.
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