#i sorta got behind

[canisalbus]

I had a dream with Vasco and Machete last night, I don't remember all details, but I do remember people talking about Machete being some sort of fallen angel or something. I even saw flashes of his angelic form in between, I'll have to draw those when I get back home. It was both scary and delightful.

.

#aaa that sounds so poetic #and epic #and cool #you're having way nicer dreams than I do #??? #answered #salem-lunaris #earlier this week I had an apocalyptic dream where earth was about to blow up and I thought “oh geez I have to warn The Dogs" #so I went to their house and this time their decor was oddly grandmacore sorta pastel and vintage and well worn #I can't recall what we talked about but Machete had just started some new meds or had some procedure done to him #he wasn't feeling himself his pupils were freakishly blown out and he couldn't walk or talk properly so they weren't planning to evacuate #Vasco dropped me off to the spaceship airport (his car was yellow) #but first we got some shady alien takeout that looked like red plastic straws and ping pong balls in a yellow toy bucket #we hugged and I boarded the dingy spaceship #and then the dream morphed into a vague retelling of that Raised by Wolves series #I felt bad about leaving them behind knowing they would get smashed to smithereens later that day

[lokilysolbitch]

putting lust deities altars close to my bed bc my asexual ass thinks it’s funny

#there was genuine intention behind it #but humor was def a part of it #also the asexual and lust deity combo is some sorta power team i swear #omg I just remembered a pop culture egregore that would fit in this team #I was thinking of making him a space #guys we got the asexual and the lust trio #handmadeorganicpost #polytheism #deitywork #deityworship #paganism #polytheist #asexual #king asmodeus #aphrodite #redacted gavin #pop culture deity

[velvetburnt]

been going through dol code and kicking my feet at the lil notes and things i havent encountered in game personally, but also heres one simple kylar line that stuck out to me

and see, this is just me being hopeful but what are the chances of sydney originally picking up their bodywriting habit from kylar from when they were kids 👉👈

#sheddingvelvet.txt #ultimately i only got into dol 4 months ago so i may have just missed out on these things being outright confirmed elsewhere #and i might be very late to many of these discoveries. but. #steps up to podium. taps mic. aheem heem whimper. steps off podium #i <3 scavenging for sydlar scraps lalala #this also makes me imagine a timeline where kylar never grew out of that habit so hes just as much of a bodywriting terror as sydney #if not worse #dol #hrmm trying to figure out if i should tag this some sorta way in case ppl dont wanna see dol code/behind the scenes stuff #i wont be posting outright spoilery shit or things that arent in the game ofc but #just in case? #velvetcoded #<- thatll do for now. will also be my catchall tag for code stuff bc i loooove talking forever

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! Do you have any advice for a nine year old who wants to make video games? Is there like a program he can use to learn how to do that, or a game that teaches programming aimed at kids, or heck idk what to ask here I know pretty much nothing about making games Basically, the kidlet I used to babysit wants to make his own video game, and has been (somewhat inexplicably) making google doc slideshows about it because he doesn't know how to make games but if there's a way he could that would be awesome! Any advice is appreciated, I seriously know nothing about this but I want to support him

#the person behind the yarn #I love him so much but also I have no idea what he's talking about #and tbh I don't think he knows where to start either #I only know very very basic programming #because one summer as a teenager a then-friend bet me I couldn't learn it #so I did a whole bunch of...codecademy? I think? #but that was before I got sick-sick and the memory is sorta blurry #like. I know at one point I knew it. I also know I do not know how to do it now #but suspect if I tried learning it again it'd be easier the second time #for the record I did prove that friend wrong! I did learn programming #my memories from before I got super sick are just very hit or miss and that's not one of the skills that I kept once I got better #I am also not as good at catching lizards as I once was and I gotta say #the lizard thing is more disappointing to me than the coding thing lol

[5231045]

attempting to map out 221b

#not confident about the ground floor other than the kitchen and bathroom are next to each other cause plumbing #there might be a small window in bedroom 1 ground floor cause the wall seems to not be blocked on the outside #yea bedroom 2 ground floor is noisy af cause street lvl windows and double staircase foot traffic lol #originally I was going to shove the bathroom under the staircase lol #yeah so idk where to put the attic staircase #also the attic interior is way too long to fit in the roof #unless the attic is the mf tardis #anyway do not hold me to this lol #lmao updated commentary -> #changed up the layout based on new info and some comments I got on the first/rough version #it's still not 1:1 to the canon designs but I've tried to place things in a way that make sense and fit into the building (sorta) #the interior only makes sense if the building was way bigger than it's depicted as #also I wanted to put the attic access in the closet but it didn't fit right #been treating the windows on the side of the building fast and loose cause man idk I don't get paid to do this #the only way it makes sense that there's light coming through from both the back and front windows is if there's an open enough space behind #maybe the building behind 221b is like.. long and narrow. or L shaped or something idk #still don't know how I feel about the main and attic stairs placement and layout but they work(?) #reference #ref

[juriyuna]

We know the Bat didn't witch out, but she's not among the ghosts of Futatsugi's dead magical girls in juriyuna's event, either. She doesn't even get a passing mention. The implication that she survived getting mauled by her former underlings in CR... much to think about........

#we find out that the helpful (read: trying her best) ghost guide was juri's friend from her mss who she accidentally killed #and yuna notes that her senpai is absent #she isn't sure if that's because senpai turned into a witch (it's unclear if witches leave ghosts behind) #or if senpai was staying hidden on purpose #(it sorta felt implied to me that senpai was watching from afar to see how much yuna has grown as a leader) #the bat is at least as influential as both of those NPCs but she never gets brought up #perhaps... my headcanon that she survived is real after all...... #ranka scraped her off the floor of the arcade after that fight in CR and kept her #magia record #bat of monzenbashi #tbh i think the bat would've actively tried to make ao worse after the ryou incident #since she did enjoy fucking with ao's head in CR #but maybe she had to keep that reined in because if ao got rapidly worse everyone would know who was responsible #and there's no way she'd be able to take juri AND yuna AND hikaru all at once #(in a fight. to be clear.) #these tags are getting away from me. goodnight tumblr

[airawisteria]

[ID: A drawing of Shiki Misaki with her character design from Neo: The World Ends With You with the addition of long, bright green nails. She is holding her hands up to her head and holding up her thumb, index finger and middle finger whilst tilting her head and winking with a toothy smile. The background consists of dark purple and seafoam green strikes that look kinda like they're broken (?) with a very light purple light coming from behind her.]

#twewy #ntwewy #shiki misaki #shiki #my art #digital art #art #fanart #(i have no idea what the bg is supposed to be i just sorta drew lines and used the smudge tool and bam! background made) #(i originally wanted to try and do some shading but motivation kinda disappeared so shikis just got some beams of light behind her) #(idk why but yeah) #(also it is a crime that we didnt get much shiki content in neo twewy) #(im happy with the like background stuff but also shiki)

[toad-in-a-trenchcoat]

Babies

#I also think cyclops wouldn’t get their spots til they got older #pmatga #Ghosts #headcanon #sorta #pups #toad’s notes #i have more planned behind this idea

[enbysiriusblack]

just realised i have a habit of headcanoning characters leaving the wizarding world and magic behind them...

mary macdonald, lydia pettigrew, draco malfoy, remus lupin, andromeda tonks, etc.

#why is that a pattern of mine?? its a strange pattern to have but i have no clue why the idea is just so appealing #mary macdonald leaving due to the war and not wanting to be involved she fully leaves magic behind until she has dean thomas #so she comes back for his benefit only to take him to get school supplies and the train and make sure he's not too overwhelmed with magic #lydia pettigrew getting pregnant during her time at hogwarts and dropping out since she wasn't having a good time anyway #she misses having a muggle life and although not fully leaving the wizarding world and coming back for peters sake but again not that much #draco malfoy leaving after the war is over and his family is ruined. he leaves everything behind and starts going to uni #only remaining in contact with his mother from the wizarding world. (ive got a whole thing about this by the way. #i dont like draco but i like gay ppl and redemption arcs so gave him t (he's gay with his uni flatmate not harry if thats what you thought #remus lupin briefly leaving after halloween 81. he sorta just stops going to the wizarding world or using magic and doesn't even realise #andromedas is also briefly just after getting disowned. starting her new life with ted both of them living in the muggle world #but she is still in contact with sirius and just doesn't feel safe going to places in the wizarding world at first #but after a while she regains confidence to do and starts rejoining that world (while still primarily living in the muggle world) #marauders era #marauders #harry potter #wizarding world

[maskyartist]

*grips my pen violently trying to do lineart* dont make another brozone au dont do it dont make it based off persona shadows DONT-

(more ranting about it in the tags cause if i did it here we'd be lookin at paragraphs of text and that aint the vibe today)

#masky says #trolls dreamworks #i am plagued by visions umu tragic i know #think p4 rather then like p5 or smth #only instead of some secret dimension maybe its like a mirror they find somewhere?? #brings out their truest selves??? #either way i love the mental image of shadow JD grabbing himself and just screaming 'YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD! ADMIT IT!' #or shadow Clay laughing at himself and telling him so easily that 'you WISH you were me! everyone LOVES the fun boy no one wanted YOU!' #bruce staring at a reflection of his insecurities just such a sad shadow constantly beating himself up for being too big and too dramatic #too 'himself' you could say #floyd having to handle his shadow parroting all those nasty thoughts hes had about his solo career #about his career in and out of the band. if hes useful. if hes worth any trouble after all his bros had to do for him. #and then theres branch...who is ABSOLUTELY like a final boss here he is TROUBLED #hes got ISSUES i cant even put it all in the tags here we'd be here all day #but listen. listen its the way he'd switch between being the lil kid everyone left behind feeling pathetic and sad for himself- #-and his grey self from way back when who still holds resentment for no one ever believing him #and then himself NOW who just feels so...lost now that he has 'everything' he wanted. #what does he do now? #maybe later....another day another day >3> #just love the idea of the bros havin some sorta fight about it around the mirror-gem-things (im thinkin that cave from pkmn X) #(yknow the one that had the reflecting walls???? thats the vibe here mystic and a lil spooky) #anyways t hey get back to the village around dark and people are NOT happy with them >3> #apparently the brothers have been causing trouble or being nuisances all day #and thats when they eventually stumble across the Shadows just dickin around as their 'truest selves' :) #sorry im done now but yall are gonna be plagued if im plagued

[twilightarcade]

Opinions and THOUGHTS

like in general or...

Ummm! I don't like crunchy foods that are like. Soft. You know like onions and stuff?? Hate those om a texture basis. Also mushrooms.. don't have too much a problem with the taste but it isn't quite worth the texture. That's not really an opinion more of a preference but I don't really have any ground breaking opinions I think so let's pretend ok

OH um!! Opinion I think 125% zoom shouldn't be the default zoom because that's literally huge which like I know it's different bur I'm special pleadingface the world has to revolve around me. Alsoalso I hate hate hate that TouchPad thing where sometimes if you touch it it'll stay touched except it's so weird!!! Unpredictable n such..

^^^ guy who just got new laptop voice anyway hi future us here this was written like 5 years ago ummmmmmm let's see here

ok you knwo right noow we're laying in bed actually so not many thoughts. Tomorrow is friyay I suppose...... This weeekend though !! Going to be out like all weekend to help some stupid middle schoolers (I LOVE tjem so much) (theyre so tiny.) (some of them are taller than me but we don't talk about that) except like i've been putting off coding this thhimh (TECHNICALLY NOT MY FAULT !! IM NOT UNDER CONTRACT AND HAVENT BEEN ABLE 2 MAKE THE MEETINGS) so im going to need to finish it in like. A day. And sorta pray ....

#askstag #SOSOSO behind on things don't look ........ #anyways also this weekend my mom wanted me to figure out how to make these like granola bar whatever #that are like. 4 dollars each (ABSOLUTELY INSANE !) at this cafe and they're really good allegedly #so i'm gonna figure out how to make them 4 her 👍 #BUT like i never make. Granola bars. So it's gonna be fun. #Ermmm these aren't really thoughts more an account of my life I suppose #It was snowing like? Yesterday. Absolutely huge snowflakes made me so happy #I was TOO tired today apparently and i talked a lot (BAD !!) absolutely horrendous. Not an articulate individual when tired. #it's ok though nothing can damage my upstanding reputation 👊👊 everyone loves me (<- lying) #been really sleepy lately but also havennr really been eating latelyso going 2 try n fix that #ALSO NEED A MUG ! Like i have one except SOMEONE likes to use it all the time (there's several others) #but like. That's the only one that feels nice yk #the design is nice on the eyes AND the shape is really nice. What more do you need in a mug #now i juust need to start drinking coffee or somethibg. Then my hashtag mug liffe will be complete #been sorta mulling over the people in my family as of late and it's really funny. Would share if that wasn't #like. People in my family. Safety or whatever. #it's like if you got a bunch of guys who hated each other and locked them in a room together yk #they would slay in a death game

[vvitchering]

We need TBOBF pt 2 and it’s just Boba and Fennec and Cobb being a scooby gang during the (non)events of Mando S3

#and then they line up when they all crash through the ceiling in the finale next week to rescue Din and the whole show #I actually have this whole vision where Din is being tortured by Gideon #and then someone shoots Gideon from behind and we pan over slowly #and see someone with a mechanical arm holding the smoking gun #and it’s COBB #and he’s got his scarf up over half his face but he pulls it down to smile at Din like #Well everyone else here is wearing a helmet! I felt left out! #and five seconds later Boba kicks the other door down like FUCK beat me to it #Fennec is out in the hall herding confused Mandalorians #Bo is in the corner somewhere having a panic attack or something who knows she’s incredibly bad at this #they’ll collect her later #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #kinda sorta #not really #but I can dream right

[laugtherhyena]

Still on the topic of artfight, while the future of the event is pretty uncertain after all that happened w the mass quitting and the Takaia's shitty management, if the site does close down after everything at least i got to enjoy the event to it's fullest and it did help me improve on a couple things! And hey, having my first artfight also be the last one ever is kinda sick imo.

If it does happen again next year i could join?? I'm not giving Takaia money after all, tho still, i may refrain from joining if they're still the one in charge of the whole thing.

#like i got to practices backgrounds quite a bit #including ones which arent actually backgrounds #like just some colored shapes behind the character you know? for some reason i always struggled a lot with these #+ if there's one thing artfight taught me is that i don't need an enormous canva in order to make good art #for some reason i always worked with a bigger = better sorta mentality #and my tablet's storage suffers because of it #but now I'm starting all my stuff on a 2000×2000 canvas and sizing it down to fit the sketch #that's good i think? #hyena ramblings

[starlightshadowsworld]

Behind the Hockey Mask part 7

Part 6

. @moonlover04

Casey strode down through the sewers, pizza boxes in hand. Some part of him wondered if this was really his life, the rest ignored it.

So he did.

Casey knew the way, now that he wasn't being chased by feet bots he could remember the path he'd taken.

The only thing was the path took a while, but Casey knew better than to take short cuts.

No matter how tempting they were.

He was already a bit late, on account of his dad but it was April so he tidied up best he could and left.

Luckily he didn't live to far from 24/7, grabbing the pizza from Mr Murakami. Who must be part ninja himself as he had furrowed his brows and asked Casey if he was okay.

Casey reassured him he was all good in the hood before leaving.

He hadn't missed the hopeful smile on Mr Murakami's face when he told him he was eating it with his friends.

Well he wouldn't consider the turtles friends, Raph was cool and April was his friend so maybe?

Speaking of April... Where was she?

April was supposed to meet him at the area they had dubbed "the drop point" But she wasn't here.

And maybe she had just forgotten but Casey knew April, how excited she had been he was coming.

Something was up.

Casey put the pizzas in his rucksack. Now armed with a spray can and a hockey stick, sprayed the pipe beside him in neon green.

Marking where he started.

Casey crouched down, assessing the entrances to the 3 tunnels with a critical eye.

The entrance to where he knew would soon lead to the turtles, was the most disturbed of the trio.

He bent down, taking a magnifying glass out of his pocket and messing with the dirt on the ground until he could see an imprint of her boots.

So April had come out to meet him. And there were no shoe tracks going back to the lair.

Casey frowned, taking a photo of her shoe print and followed it to the right tunnel.

He got up, tagging a rock and taking a torch off his belt.

Casey took a deep breathe before walking in.

Sewer tunnels had never been one of his top 10 locations but man this sucked.

It stunk something awful but something told Casey it wasn't just regular sewer stench.

Casey was on guard, and yet he still jumped when a sewer worker ran past him screaming "SQUIRREL!! GIANT MUTANT SQUIRREL!''

He frowned, but carried on. Keeping an eye out for any giant mutant squirrels.

Not that he would've missed any even if he wasn't. But the point still stands.

What he did find was April, except she was in just a bad a state as the sewer worker. Her back was to him but she was shaking.

Casey felt his heart drop to his stomach.

April was crying.

Part of him wanted to storm up to the turtles and rip them a new one.

If they were responsible, than they were going to face a hell on earth a lot worse than cold undelivered pizza.

But he shoved those thoughts away, April was what mattered.

Casey frowned, crouching down and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Red?"

April flinched away so he spoke softer. Letting his hand gently drop from her shoulder.

"Hey, Red it's me. It's Casey." Said Casey, lifting his mask so she could see him. "It's me, hey. Hey its okay." He said, using the same voice he used when Angel was having a nightmare.

If he didn't know any better he'd say April was having one too.

She was curled up in a ball and the second she saw his face she screamed and scooched back

"Get back! Leave me alone dad!"

Casey paused, frowning. Dad? He didn't know much about Mr O'Neil but he knew tthe two of them didn't look similiar.

He looked at April, really looked at her. He took a deep breathe, keeping his voice soft.

"April, have you taken anything?" She didn't respond.

"I'm not gonna judge you. I just want to keep you safe, okay." His voice broke slightly on the 'okay' but he wouldn't cry.

He didn't think April would take drugs but why else would she be curled up in a ball crying in a sewer and not know who he was.

God... Had she been doing this for a while? Had he really not noticed that she had been going through it.

So much for being best friends.

Casey refused to let himself cry, he had to be strong.

For April.

April who was just looking at him horrified and without any recognition at all.

Casey hated that, that hurt the most.

"You know we can go wherever you want, there's that movie theater not far from here. I've got the pizza, we can just share it."

She didn't respond, well not to his questions. April just continued crying and screaming at "her dad" to go away.

"Please! Leave me alone!"

Casey than made a mistake, he got closer. In his defence it was heartbreaking watching his best friend cry and scream and not comfort her.

He realised his mistake too late.

But the damage was done and April freaked out.

Before she ran off, Casey grabbed a can "I'm sorry" he apologised before spraying her top bright blue.

She didn't even register it.

Casey looked down, tears in his eyes as April ran off.

As much as he loathed to admit it, he was in the dark here.

Maybe the turtles knew something?

They were her friends long before the two of them had met.

Maybe they knew what was up with April.

She had come from the lair.. right?

All Casey knew was April and that sewer guy were acting werid and he didn't know why.

Something was up, and as much as he didn't want to admit it he needed back up.

Casey didn't know the sewers like they did, the only thing he'd do is get him and April both lost.

God he was useless...

He sighed, tagged the wall, spraying a bright green A.

Before making one of the hardest decisions he'd ever made and going in the opposite direction.

_________________________

Leo sighed, maybe Splinter was right. But it was hard not to worry about his team, they were his brothers.

And April was like the sister he'd never had. He didn't want to mess up one day and lose them.

Leo knew he'd never forgive himself if he did.

"Er... Hey" Leo looked at the lair entrance, spotting the newest addition to their group.

"Hey, Casey, right?"

Casey nodded, he was wearing his skull mask but even with it Leo could see he was upset.

"Can I talk to you guys, for a sec?"

Leo, suprised and somewhat intrigued nodded. Gesturing to the sofa where the others were gathered.

Now watching Casey, curiously.

Casey looked down, unable to meet them in the eye.

"God how do put this... Did something happen with you guys and Red?"

Red?..

Oh, April.

Leo shrugged "I didn't see her, I was meditating with Master Splinter." He looked at his brothers.

"We were with her when she called you about the pizza, she went to go meet with you... Nothing happened." Said Donnie.

"Speaking off, where's the pizza?" Asked Mikey, eyeing Casey's rucksack.

Casey sighed heavily, "okay soo... I... She didn't meet up with me, exactly." He paused before explaining what had happened.

That he'd found April in an empty sewer tunnel screaming and crying.

That she hadn't recognised him at all, kept screaming about her father to leave her alone.

And that he had circled back here.

"You left her?!" Yelled Donnie, enraged.

Casey looked away, shame in his heart. "Me being their was making her more upset. If I chased her she would've been terrified... More than she already is. I don't know the tunnels like you guys.... So I retreated."

"You did the right thing, Casey Jones." Said Splinter though Donnie still looked mad.

"So she's just lost and we don't know where she is either? Yeah, great work Jones." He snapped.

Casey put a hand up, holding his phone with a blue dot. "Actually I do, before she ran I managed to spray her with my blue can, it's a tracker. It'll dissolve in 2 hours but for now we can track her." He explained.

Donnie blinked, mad but also curious at this new technology.

"Wait... That's why you sprayed that foot bot blue?" Asked Raph, remembering their first encounter. Casey nodded "even if he left this place, didn't want him getting too far."

Raph nodded, feeling a new respect for the other.

"Casey, what's that your on hand?" Asked Donnie, tearing his eyes from his phone.

Casey blinked, only now noticing the bright yellow powder on his glove.

"I put it on April's shoulder when I was trying to get her attention." He said, eyes wide in realisation.

He took off the glove, putting it in a zip lock bag. "Red said you had a lab...?" He asked Donnie who brightened "let's go. To the lab!"

He posed heroically and Raph sighed, closing his eyes. "We're really gonna follow him after he said to the lab?" He copied Donnie's pose mockingly.

Casey hid a snort and followed Donnie.

"Woah! Hey, don't touch it man! You dunno what it could be." He said, Donnie rolled his eyes but complied.

Taking some gloves and putting them on.

"Let's see what you are." He said, grabbing his microscope.

Whatever this was, it had done this to April. And Casey only hoped she was safe.

'I swear Red...I won't be long.'

He wouldn't too late... Not this time.

#behind the hockey mask #casey jones 2012 #Discussions of drug use #Sorta #tmnt 2012 donnie #No ship wars here #Casey and April are platonic soul mates #Donnie is just worried bout her he and Casey become friends #I got so annoyed in the show watching them all touch it like guys! #Especially when they knew what it did #april o'neil #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012

[dbphantom]

What it's like reading ur old writing and getting to a particularly awful or self-indulgent part

#Untitled Document why do you make me feel this way #I'm scrapping that ffxv h2o au fic I posted to ao3 its 4 years old and I have a better edition planned #I might just upload the rest of the 'continuous' parts as the rest of the chapters and then post the new version bc it's not even close #It's a completely different fic at this point #This isn't an HD texture pack release this is a total remake. We are going from 2d sprites to hyperrealistic 3d models #H2O au #Cruddy rambles #See in the new edition Celor actually isn't around when Ignis bargains with Leviathan and the pact itself is now fully fleshed out and a #Very conscious decision on his part after visiting the Lux Et Umbrae exhibit at the Lucis Royal Museum because there was a whole thing #With a marilith and Noct getting hurt and being terrified and then going to Tenebrae leaving Ignis behind to wonder wtf was going on and #Regis acting sus around him afterwards and then leviathan tricks him because he's 8 years old literally a child and he signs away his #Future in order to get what he wants #Vs the old version where it just sorta. Happens. Because he got sad for a little bit. #The spelldaggers thing is conversely LESS complex in the HD remake. Because it added nothing to the actual plot and this is long enough as #It is. The old guys are all still bros tho. Regis Cor Clarus Celor... They're all bros. And then the chocobros go on the trip and obtain #2 MORE DADS #Because while Cid can be a hardass he means well and cares about them and *basically* adopts them all after insomnia falls #And Weskham is one of my favorite characters in general he's just so fun to write... I am keeping all of his scenes basically the same #But adding even more and also a bit more context as to who he actually is (Regis's old adviser) because uh... That's important! Esp if he's #Dating secretary camelia #Also I added an extra scene to the mythril plot where ardyn infiltrates the group as Gladio to cause discord while Gladio is #Off hanging with Cor #Because we needed more of ardyn's illusions in the main plot esp before Altissia bc what da heck...

[picavecalyx]

The duality of Silva listening to basically everything Flare has told her...and her going :) I'm just gonna hear what I like and ignore everything I don't like, actually.

#study ;; beneath a piteous smile #verse ;; pokemon ;; beyond destructing and falling petals #i.e.; silva constantly trying to ignore that shes been banged over the head with the the world is cruel line- #although that does sometimes fall apart and lead her to lean a little closer into what she's been constantly told #most prominently when she was younger and she got bullied. she would come home sometimes bawling because she just... #didnt understand. because in her eyes everyone is nice so what did she do wrong? #generally her thought process jjst goes to the 'maybe i just dont understand why they did this yet but theres a good reason' #but sometimes she just. falls into the brief and mostly temporary 'maybe i really should just stay with those i know are kind and good' #i.e.; her family--lysandre and flare. #it gets intensified for when she gets BACK home and she sorta looks back at all her time running and just. #' well i did have to constantly leave people behind...and i only really told a couple people...and some people were mean... ' #' and maybe the people i thought were nice thought my family was bad and thats not true. ' #and on and on and on #silva wants a balance where everyone and everything is good.