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#i spent so much money last year on makeup and i don’t even use it
emma-needs-attention · 3 months
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I don’t shave every day. It’s not that I don’t “need” to; I have very dark, dense facial hair that grows quickly and remains pretty visible after shaving. When I do shave, I don’t try to cover it with makeup (beyond some powder to reduce redness). In most other ways I present very feminine, but I always have fairly obvious facial hair.
And it makes me feel terrible.
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I started electrolysis a couple months ago. It’s excruciatingly painful, expensive, and it takes forever. In an hour-long session, my electrologist is able to remove hair in only a small region (about 1 square inch). A few weeks later, much of that hair comes back. I am told that it will take two to three years of regular treatments to remove it entirely. On top of that, I apparently have a condition called Post Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation, which causes the skin in affected areas to darken after treatment. For nearly two months after completing a single pass over my upper lip, my mustache was more visible than it had ever been, despite having significantly less hair.
And it made me feel terrible.
I know this is the best way for me to permanently remove my facial hair, but I just canceled all of my upcoming sessions and at the moment I have no plans to begin again.
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If I could pay to have my facial hair instantly and completely removed I would empty my savings account. I am intensely aware of it any time I go out in public. If it makes me so uncomfortable, why do I not do more to hide it?
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I feel incredibly privileged for a trans woman. I have a loving, supportive family. I have a well-paying job. I live in a very accepting area. I have never had a single person say anything negative to me about my gender identity, which was certainly not what I was expecting when I came out. It is important to me that I be visibly queer, and in my privileged position I am able to do that without fear. A year ago I didn’t think I would ever transition; now I want people to know that I’m trans.
I am disappointed with myself for wanting to remove my facial hair, for changing my voice. I am determined not to have to do more work than a cis person does. Cis women don’t have to shave their face every day. Cis men don’t have to shave their face every day. Why should I? This is who I am, what my body does. Shouldn’t I be proud of that? Am I not supposed to love myself the way I am?
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But by that logic, why am I even transitioning in the first place?
I am doing more work than a cis person does. Cis people don’t transition, and transitioning takes effort. I know that there are cis people, both men and women, who do shave every day. Am I lying to myself? I’m a trans woman; aren’t I supposed to want to get rid of my facial hair? Shouldn’t I be trying harder? Doesn’t this give me dysphoria? Am I pretending not to have dysphoria so I don’t have to put in the effort? Does the fact that I’m not trying harder make me… I don’t know, less trans? Non-binary? Is it ok for me to call myself a trans woman? Am I lying to myself?
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As a woman who was a man until thirty, there are things about my body that I must accept, that I won’t be able to change no matter how much money I dump into my transition. I’m tall, I have broad shoulders, I have large hands. No amount of surgery or hormones will change these things.
But there are many things that I can change, and while none of them are requirements for being a woman, they may still be changes that I want to make. Where do I stop? Am I finished transitioning when I’ve done everything that is physically possible? My goal isn’t to “pass,” at least not in the way that word is generally used. In a time when cis women are being assaulted because people think they’re trans—because they don’t “pass” as women—the idea of what it means to pass becomes blurry. Often when we say that we want to pass, what we really mean is that we want to be conventionally beautiful.
I am a woman. Therefore, I look like a woman. My transition goal is to pass as myself. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out who I am so I can look like her. I don’t care whether people see me and think “that’s a woman.” I want to be able to look in the mirror and think “that’s me.” But it can be extremely difficult to separate your own image of yourself from society’s idea of what you should look like. Am I self-conscious about the size of my body because it doesn’t feel like me, or because I’ve been told that women should be smaller? There are tall cis women, there are broad-shouldered cis women, there are cis women with large hands. Those traits don’t make them less womanly.
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For the aspects of my body that I do have control over, I am stuck wondering whether I am changing things to become myself, or changing them because I have internalized that the way I am is wrong. At the moment, facial feminization surgery is something that I think I might like to do. But how do I know that I want to do it for the right reasons? I don’t hate my face, but when I catch a glimpse of myself from certain angles I can’t help but think that it isn’t feminine enough. What I should be asking is if it’s Emma enough, but how can I know that? How do I know who I’m supposed to be?
I feel like I was supposed to be a cis woman, but… why? Who am I to say that I wasn’t supposed to be trans? That I wasn’t supposed to transition at thirty, to have both a male puberty and a female one? Being trans has made me more self-aware, more open-minded, more empathetic. The totality of my experience is what makes me who I am. Maybe there’s a world in which I was assigned female, maybe there’s a world in which I was put on puberty blockers as a kid. But the girl in those worlds isn’t me.
Loving yourself and wanting to change are two feelings that can coexist. I tend to think of body positivity as simply accepting yourself as you are, but it is more nuanced than that. As a trans person, who I am inside is not the same as who I am outside. Which one am I supposed to love? I do love myself, but I also love who I could be. I’m transitioning so that someday they’ll be the same person.
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Over the past year I have become both my biggest supporter and my biggest critic. I constantly tell myself how pretty I am, how brave I am, how fucking cool I am (hey, nobody else is saying it and it’s true). This forced positivity has been fantastic for me. I can confidently say that I truly love myself for the first time in my life. But I sometimes feel guilty that I don’t love myself more.
I can’t help but stare at myself in the mirror all the time now. I actually bought a new mirror so I didn’t have to walk as far to do so. I’ve taken more selfies than I did in my entire pre-transition life. After many months on HRT, I finally see myself in my reflection. But my eyes refuse to focus on my stubble. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “I’m going be so beautiful once I get rid of this facial hair,” and it feels like a betrayal. Fuck you Emma, I’m already gorgeous.
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slaymitchabernathy · 17 days
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I Don’t Wanna Live Forever
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“and i don’t wanna fit wherever, i just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home”
Soarynn
It was quiet when she entered her apartment. Soarynn let out a shuddered breath as she shut the door, making sure to turn the deadbolt before she turned around to face the hallway.
Normally he would be right behind her, his breath on her neck, his hands on her waist. Normally he’d have her pinned against the door right now as they both struggled to take their clothes off.
But not tonight.
Soarynn pressed her back against the door, remembering all the times he had done the same, when he’d whisper how beautiful she looked that night, and how she was the only girl for him.
But things were different now.
Soarynn choked back a sob as she slid down to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest as the tears finally began to fall.
They had called things off. Her and Coriolanus.
It broke her inside to know that after all these years they didn’t make it. They’d been sweethearts for six years, starting in the Academy and making their way through the University together. Some of the hardest years of her life had been spent by the side of Coriolanus as he offered her comfort and stability.
Both of them knew what it was like to grow up without stability or comfort, especially during the war that claimed the lives of both of their parents. Soarynn’s parents had left behind their fortune as well as their prominent last name to her, and she had managed to nestle her way into the elite society of the Capitol.
She had to credit some of that to Coriolanus, who had worked even harder than her to secure himself a spot at the top of the pyramid.
The Snows were old money, and they were as high up as you could be. But once the war claimed all but one, Coriolanus had been on his own. Still, he didn’t let that stop him, in fact, he used it as motivation. He excelled in school, made connections, and won the Plinth Prize for being an exceptional student.
Soarynn had been so proud of him, so happy to be seen by his side supporting him as he worked his way up in the world despite all his challenges. She had some challenges herself, but Coriolanus always helped her tackle those problems.
He took care of her, defended her, protected her, and he loved her.
But not anymore.
The tears were falling freely now as it truly began to hit Soarynn, the adrenaline finally wearing off from tonight. The night had started off as any night did when the two of them went out on a date.
Soarynn did her hair and makeup, dressed in a beautiful short dress that clung to her figure in all the right places. It showed just the right amount of cleavage and skin without showing too much to the rest of the world.
The only man who’d see her without the dress was Coriolanus.
Well, not anymore.
He picked her up as per usual, handing her a single white rose before the car pulled away from the curb. Coriolanus had an obsession with roses. His grandmother grew them on the roof of their penthouse before she passed away and he was keen on letting her city-known legacy live on.
He was very particular about letting anyone near the roses let alone giving them away. But he always gave Soarynn a rose, no matter what. Soarynn looked up at the table pressed against the entryway wall, where there currently sat a vase of beautiful white roses he’d given her for her birthday, and now she would never receive another rose.
Not after what happened tonight.
꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁
They went to one of their favorite restaurants, a place where they’d be seen by everyone, just the way Coriolanus liked it.
He hadn’t always been this way. In fact, he used to hate being seen by anyone. He wanted Soarynn all to himself and would plan small, intimate dates for just the two of them.
But that was six years ago.
Now he wanted to be seen by his peers, by the higher-ups, and that meant Soarynn had to comply with that. She was used to people staring at her, admiring her natural beauty. Her own mother had been stunning and she’d passed on that beauty to Soarynn.
Dazzling blue-gray eyes, gorgeous light blonde hair, supple skin, long legs, a small waist, and a beautiful face. Soarynn knew Coriolanus was proud to have her on his arm, to be seen with her, to show her off.
And she liked it too. For the most part.
There were moments when she simply wished to act more causally, and they did, behind closed doors. But she always had to be on her best behavior in public, as should any fine-mannered Capitol girl. Anyone who lived in the Capitol was leagues above the Districts, but there was a hierarchy within the Capitol system, and Soarynn desired to remain on top.
Snow lands on top, oh how many times had he said that to her?
Soarynn let out a sob as all the memories came washing over her, all the good times, the sweet gestures. He used to be so sweet, so young and boyish.
Coriolanus grew into a fine young man and he seemed to grow into the man his father had once been. Soarynn barely remembered Crassus Snow or any of her friend’s parents who had passed away during the war. But she remembered how stern he was, how his gaze could pierce through your skin.
It seemed Coriolanus was set on following in his footsteps, and it seemed to be the demise of their relationship as well.
꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁
Soarynn had brought it up tonight at dinner, right after the main course had been served. “Do you think you might be taking things a bit too seriously?” She had asked him before taking a bite of her salmon.
Coriolanus furrowed his brows as he swallowed down his wine, “Taking what too seriously?” He’d asked, clearly not picking up what she was putting down.
Soarynn bit her lip, knowing it probably wasn’t best to be having this serious of a conversation in a public place like this. But it had been eating away at her for some time now. Soarynn took a deep breath, preparing herself to lay it out in the open and not take any flack he might give her.
One thing Soarynn had learned about dating Coriolanus was that he could be quite aggressive during an argument. Whether with her or with friends, he didn’t hold back.
He was a little more gentle when it came to her, but he still went for the throat every time. Soarynn couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually won an argument.
Every once in a while he’d let her win when it wasn’t about anything too serious and they were both tired. But this was a very important argument, one that had been boiling at the surface for the past six months.
“Your Game Maker internship,” Soarynn told him, feeling as if it were quite obvious.
It wasn’t based on how he had reacted, his relaxed face contorting into a more guarded expression, one he wore when faced with a challenge. “There is nothing wrong with the way I have been approaching my internship,” he had told her, his stern voice leaving no room for argument.
Oh, but Soarynn didn’t quite care, and after six years of being together, she had learned what she could and could not get away with.
“You do realize that your ideas are not strictly hypothetical, don’t you? That these ideas you come up with your Game Maker friends will be used on innocent children in two months’ time?”
Coriolanus had been interning as a Game Maker under Dr. Gaul’s watchful eye and Soarynn feared the man he could become under that mentorship.
He had told her many ideas they had come up with, all of them more horrible than she could imagine. Soarynn held little to no sympathy for the Districts, not after they took away her parents.
But as she got older, started picturing herself as a mother, well, she couldn’t help but feel bad for the children.
If anything the parents were to blame.
“My ideas had been widely appreciated and uplifted by interns and Game Makers alike, and the last thing I need is for my girlfriend to openly oppose me and my way of going about the Games,” he had replied, his grip on his wine glass so tight.
Soarynn had slightly shrunk into herself, feeling a bit intimidated now that she had fully poked the bear.
But she couldn’t back down now.
“I know you feel slightly responsible to continue the Games since your father crea–”
“That is enough about my father Soarynn,” he had hissed, “now I’d like to enjoy the rest of my dinner without being chastised if that’s all right with you.” Soarynn knew she had poked a sore spot, and in the end, she paid the price for it.
꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁ ꧂ ꧁
| ao3 & wattpad oneshot/drabble |
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spoopydooblr · 1 year
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My King Will Be Kind Chapter 2 / Kendall Roy x OC
an: another short chapter, but here you go!!
tw: mentions of drug use, cursing
Stella was awoken the next morning by her phone ringing. She groaned, knowing her alarm hasn't gone off so must be relatively early.  It's 11 AM, whoops.
It was an unknown New York number. Probably a marketing call, but it could also be someone her manager needs her to talk to. Fuck it, Stella thought, as she picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hello." A smooth, deep voice perked her interest from the other side of the phone.
Kendall.
She immediately cleared her throat, trying to sound less sleepy. Stella sat up, clambering out of bed and to her bathroom. In the mirror, her hair was a mess, makeup smudged across her face.
"I hope I didn't wake you."
"Um, no, no, definitely not." She walked back to the bed.  
Kendall laughed, but it kind of sounds pitiful.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you."
Stella rolled her eyes. "Okay, lover boy." Stella tried to hide the blush on her cheeks as if he could see through the phone.
He's quiet for a second. "What are you wearing?"
She muffled a laugh. "Are you fucking serious?"
"Yeah I'm fucking serious."
"Well," Stella put on a sultry voice. Good thing she was a good actress. "I'm wearing gray sweatpants and a t shirt, so."
"You're hilarious."
"I know."
"I want you to come over tonight. I'll have my chef make us whatever you want."
"Your chef?"
"Uh, yeah."
She was quiet for a second, worst-case scenarios flash in her head.  "Listen, Kendall, are you sure?"
"Of course."
"I just—" Stella paused. "I'm apprehensive."
"Why?" He asked.
"Well, for starters, um, I'm kind of new at all this. I'm just a baby famous person, like, I didn't grow up in this spotlight like you." She continued, "if something goes wrong, I don't have money to fall back on. This is it for me. I just don't know...if I can be in your world."
"Stella, relax."
"I just feel like—"
"Just once, okay? And if it fuckin sucks, uh, you never have to see me again."
Stella thought for a second. It could be fun, probably amazing food and an even better fuck. But the optics were not good.
"Okay."
"I'll send a car at seven."
"Kendall." She pushed back.
"What?"
"I'll just take the subway, it's fine!"
Kendall laughed in disbelief. "You are not taking the subway."
"Then I'll Uber."
"No. I'm sending a car. Let me do this for you."
Stella could practically hear the twitter trolls screaming at all this.
"Okay, okay, fine."
------------------------
Kendall sat at his desk, scrolling through Stella's Instagram. He stopped at a picture of her in a bikini, clicking on it and zooming in.
"Ken."
Kendall shot back into reality as Roman's voice pierced his eardrums. He jumped, closing his laptop.
"Insta-stalking? You horny bastard."
"Fuck off, Roman."
-------------------------
Seven came a little too fast for Stella. She was supposed to spend the day working on her script and answering emails. She was supposed to take her dog, Kurt, to the park. She spent the day anxious, pacing around her apartment, contemplating the millions of things that could go wrong. Stella had researched Kendall all day, stalking his social media and wikipedia pages.  He seemed to have mixed reviews, but the bad was very bad.  
He had two kids, Sophie and Iverson, with his ex-wife Rava.  They were young teenagers and apparently spent most of their time with their mother.  There wasn't much about Rava online other than her relation to Kendall.  It looked like they were separated for a while before getting divorced two years ago.
And then there were the drugs...
Stella knew it was bad to look for Kendall's dirty laundry on the internet, but she had to know what she was getting herself into.  Last year he went on a weird "feminist" tirade against his father and company.  He even planned to go on Sophie Iwobi's show but backed out last second.  She had definitely been looking forward to Sophie making fun of Kendall, but now that she knew him, she felt bad.  He clearly had a tough life and had been through a lot.
Stella facepalmed.  She couldn't actually be having sympathy for a billionaire, right?  Right?!
Then there was the outfit.  Stella had no idea what to wear or what to bring.  What do you get a person who has all of the money in the world?  She decided that, as risky as it was, she would bring him a nice blunt.  She knew he smoked, so a good, dispensary-quality blunt would be perfect.  It was better than a cheap ass wine from Trader Joe's.  
After the trip to the dispensary, Stella took a detour to a local vintage boutique.  She had a pair of black leather pants and a blazer that needed a top.  The store was one of those extremely expensive vintage places that were all over the Upper East Side, but she really wanted to impress Kendall.  
She decided on a silky white cowl neck halter top.  It was pretty expensive, but again, Stella wanted Kendall to like her.  It was almost five when Stella got back to her apartment.  She was pretty good at getting ready quickly, but this was different.  This guy was a literal billionaire, not some C-list actor from Raya.  Stella still chose light makeup though, and opted to have her hair down and straightened.  
After over an hour, she was ready.  Stella looked at herself in the body-length mirror of her apartment.  She looked good.  Billionaire good.  She took a few selfies before getting her things.  Her phone chimed with a text from Kendall.  She usually kept her ringer off, but today Stella needed to be aware of every text and call.
The car should be there in two minutes.  Excited to see you
Stella still couldn't believe Kendall was sending a car, but here she was, two minutes later, climbing into a huge black Suburban.  The driver opened the door for her, smiling.  
"Thanks." She muttered.
Twenty minutes of nervous sweating later, they had arrived at Kendall's building in Hudson Yards.  The building was huge and probably the nicest place Stella had ever been.  Did she need permission to even get into the front door?
"Mr. Roy will meet you inside."  The driver said, opening Stella's door.  
"Oh, um, thanks.  When do I, um, tip you?"
The driver laughed.  
Stella laughed nervously.  She stepped out of the car, looking around at the fancy business people around her.  The streets were actually clean.
Here goes nothing.
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nifolution · 2 years
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Catch Your Breath 1
Pairing: Jake Jensen & Reader
Summary: Lost chances sometimes come around again. Jake wasn't about to let it slip by a second time.
Warnings: Mostly fluff, angst, feels, cheating (not Jake or reader), hurtful pranks, missed opportunities, lots of reused movie dialog
A/N: Modern/partial high school AU. First chapter happens in 2001. This is a revised copy of my oc fic. (The last name has to remain for a reasons.) It is written in 3rd person. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated. 
Series Masterlist Main Masterlist
Chapter 1
Y/N stood in the corner of the gymnasium, watery eyes drifting over the endless tacky streamers and balloons. For what students paid for tickets, you’d think the school could afford better quality decorations. Her sight landed on the giant banner and scoffed at the message, “Catch Your Breath. Yeah, and I hope ya choke on it.” She wiped her eyes, no longer concerned with keeping her makeup intact. The school’s mascot ‘Paulie the Pickle’ danced idiotically in the middle of the room, encouraging the crowd to join in. “What a fucking joke.” Prom was supposed to be one of the happiest and most memorable nights of your teenage years. It was memorable alright, but for all the wrong reasons.
The bane of her existence, the cheerslut Noel, set her sights on Y/N’s boyfriend the moment they arrived. She was currently on the rebound after breaking up with her on again - off again beau, John, and was looking for the next best thing. Y/N may have felt sorry for her if the girl had not spent the last four years making her life a living hell. Plus Noel refused to keep her hands to herself, latching onto Silas. Touching and flirting with him nonstop, completely ignoring that his girlfriend was right there.
Silas seemingly rebuffed her advances while his girlfriend was around, but the temptation was too much apparently. Y/N stepped away for a few minutes to chat with her friends. Only to turn around to find her boyfriend sticking his tongue down Noel’s throat. Oh, hell no! She marched over to them, grabbed a fistful of the slut’s hair and yanked her off Silas. 
“What the fuck, you bitch,” Noel’s whiney voice screamed.
“This isn’t what…”
Y/N saw red. “Silas don’t even try the ‘this isn't what it looks like’ excuse. You are so full of shit. I was gone for five minutes. How could you?”
Noel gave a fake pout, “Guess you should've kept a better eye on him. Can’t blame the guy when something this hot is around. Maybe if you worked out a little more he wouldn’t need me. Too bad, so sad.”
Resisting the urge to smack the girl in her face, Y/N squared her shoulders. “And I think it's incredibly sad that you only know how to value yourself based on how others want to use your body. You're going to live a very lonely life, Noel.”
Y/N pushed past the cheating jackass, avoiding his attempt to grab her arm. “Screw you, Silas, we’re done.” 
“Snookums, don’t be like that. It meant nothing. Just a slip up, I promise.”
She ignored her ex-boyfriend's empty words and walked away. He didn’t even apologize. They’ve been dating since sophomore year, lost their virginity to each other, planned to get married someday and he threw it away for that skank. She managed to hold back the tears until she found a quiet area by the benches. Sending her cousin a quick text asking for a ride home, she allowed herself to cry out her heartbreak. 
Jake Jensen was bummed, prom was nothing like he imagined. He spent so much money on a suit, the limousine and the perfect corsage for his beautiful date, only for her to humiliate him. Getting out of the limo, his date asked him for a kiss. Giddy, he closed his eyes and leaned in, only to be met with thin air. Opening his eyes, he found himself surrounded by the cheerleading team and half the jocks. They hollered and laughed as they pelted him with water balloons full of pickle juice. Their assault ended with his date calling him a loser and shoving a pickle in his face. Something the group found hysterical. 
He cleaned up as best he could, and stood under the hand dryers for what felt like hours, but the smell lingered. Jake came out of the restroom and plopped down on the nearest bench. Cringing as his not quite dry suit squished a bit. Just as he was deciding that he should go home, he heard sobbing. Turning his head he saw his classmate, Y/N crying.
He’d had a crush on her since forever, but she didn’t know he existed, especially with her hunky boyfriend around. Why was she alone? Looking around, Silas was nowhere in sight. Someone had to help her. Tentatively, Jake approached, “Hey, are you okay? Please don’t cry. If you tell me what’s wrong, maybe I can help?”
Y/N vaguely recognized the boy trying to console her. The blue eyes peering out from the large glasses, the messy hair, she’s seen him around. He took a lot of advanced courses and they didn’t run in the same circles, but he always seemed like a nice guy. “Not unless you can turn back time so I can stop my ex from making out with that slut, Noel and ruining everything.”
“I’m sorry, you deserve better than that dickhead.” Not having a tissue, Jake handed over his tie for her to dry her eyes. 
She sniffed and patted at her eyes, frowning, “Why do I smell pickles?”
“Shit, that’s me,” he admitted. “The um, the slut was my date, actually. Found out the hard way that it’s a long standing tradition for the head cheerleader to take the biggest nerd to prom, and have the popular kids douse him in pickle juice.” 
“What immature asshats. I’m sorry they did that to you.”
“It’s okay, I’ll live.” He offered his hand, “Jake Jensen.”
“Y/N Reyburn.” She shook his outstretched hand. “I do remember you, actually. I was in band with your sister. You and your friends talked your way into her last competition field trip by convincing the principal you guys had to jump up and shout ‘tequila’ when we played the song.”
Jake laughed, “That was worth it. And I believe our contribution helped you guys win second place.” 
“Oh, of course, couldn’t have done it without ya. Thanks.” She smiled and took a deep breath. Her phone chimed, alerting her of her cousin’s message. “Shit! She’s not coming for another hour.”
“Who?”
“Oh, um, my ride. For obvious reasons I want to get the hell out of here.” As if she needed proof the universe was against her, Silas and Noel started playing tonsil hockey a few feet away. She felt sick. “Think I can get away with pulling the fire alarm?”
Jake spotted the new couple, knowing how it must be hurting Y/N, “Or I can start a fire.” Her loud snort made him smile. He offered her some punch while she waited, she accepted. Clicking his tongue and making finger guns, he ventured to retrieve the beverages. Swiftly returning and handing her one.
Y/N raised her glass, “Cheers to high school clichés; computer nerds, band geeks, bullies, slutty cheerleaders, hurtful pranks, and being dumped at prom. We got the whole teenage experience tonight.”
“To the horrible teenage experience,” he toasted to the absurdity of the night. The conversation continued to flow easily between them. He took the chance and asked her to dance before she left. Almost regretting it when she said yes, because he did not know how to.
Luckily, Y/N did. Jake covered up his nervousness by singing while they swayed. When the song ended, he wanted to kiss her so bad, but knew it was too soon. So he placed a kiss on her hand. Earning him a breathtaking smile. 
He accompanied her outside and waited on the school steps. Wanting to see her smile again, he tried to impress her by doing a backflip off the railing. “And the crowd goes wild.”
“That was awesome.” When he bowed, she continued, “To be fair, I'd have liked it just as much if you fell on your face.”
Jake scoffed, “How rude. You know you loved it.”
“Hey, I wanted to thank you for making tonight tolerable. Tell ya the truth, I wish we would have come to prom together. We would have had a great time. No drama, no embarrassment.”
“Well I still had a great time. My favorite part was when I was the unwitting victim of a seriously dumb prank, but the all-night clinging stench, that was good times.” He shook his head, “Honestly, you're the only reason I stayed. Turned my night around. You’re an amazing girl, Y/N. Maybe we can hang out some other time.” Jake wanted to ask her out properly, but not until she was ready. 
She giggled, “Some time when you don’t stink of pickles.”
He nodded, “When I’m back to my regular freshness, I promise you can smell me anytime you want. I give you full permission to just take a whiff whenever you fancy.” Jake lifted his arm, leaned in and exaggeratingly gagged. “Just not now though.” He started asking for her number when a car pulled up honking.
The driver stuck their head out the window, “Move your ass, Y/N. I haven’t got all night.”
“I got to go. Thanks again, Jake. I’ll see ya around.” She ran down the stairs and hopped into the waiting vehicle. 
Jake sighed as the car sped off. “Oh, that sucked.” It would be okay though, they still had a month of classes left. He’d get another chance.
---------------
Two weeks later, despite his best efforts, Jake had not run into Y/N yet. He kept expecting it to happen organically, but alas, it did not. They didn’t share any subjects and his class times never matched up with hers. They never ran into each other in the hallways because their schedules kept them in different parts of the school. Exams started next week and Jake knew there’d be no chance to see her until graduation if he didn’t do something now. 
A lightbulb went off in his brain. The next day he arrived early and broke into her locker. He wrote a small note with his name and number and placed freshly picked flowers on top. He hoped she liked them. His neighbor, Mrs. Shaw certainly did, and hopefully wouldn’t notice that he nabbed a few from her garden.
Y/N had been doing her best to find Jake. She didn't know his schedule or where his locker was. It was frustrating, she felt like she was just missing him. If she'd just be a minute earlier, or later, she’d see him. Today she even waited outside by the entrance as long as she could before class started, sweating her butt off in the heat, and he never entered the building. Another day gone without running into the one person she wanted to see. Huffing as she opened her locker, Y/N was greeted with a bunch of flowers wilted to a mushy mess. Ugh, they were probably from Silas. She scooped them up and threw the flowers in the nearest trash can. Never seeing the piece of paper stuck to the bottom. 
Her exams flew by and before Y/N knew it, she was walking across the stage to receive her diploma. Time to celebrate, high school was finally behind her. When the ceremony was over, she went on the hunt for Jake. Knowing where he would be sitting alphabetically, she made a beeline for his section, hoping she wasn’t too late. She was almost there when someone stopped her.
“Y/N, hey, congratulations. We made it.” Silas gave her a bear hug.  
Trying to get this encounter over with, she decided to play nice. “Congrats to you too. Glad all that is over.” She tried to get him to put her down, but he took it as an invitation to kiss her. She pushed him away and demanded he let her go.
Silas’ face fell, “I miss you, Snookums. Don’t you miss me?”
“I don’t have time for this.”
“If it’s because of Noel, I swear we aren’t a thing anymore. She was just a phase, Snookums. It was no big deal, nothing really happened, so I don’t see why we can't get back together. I love you and I know you're the only girl for me.”
Y/N crossed her arms, “So this would have nothing to do with the fact she's back together with John?”
“Of course not.”
“And you weren’t caught having sex with her in the library after our history exam.” At least he looked ashamed. She was so done with him. “We are not getting back together, Silas. I wish you the best, but it’s not going to happen. I have to go. Take care of yourself.” 
The G - K section was empty by the time she pushed through the crowd to get there. She continued searching in vain for Jake in the sea of people. Once the venue was down to a few stragglers, she knew she missed him. Guess he wasn't serious about seeing her again after all. 
Jake rode shotgun in his friend’s car, on their way to a party. He looked for Y/N at graduation, but when he spotted her, she was embracing and kissing Silas. His heart fell at the sight. Guess they made up. Throwing in the towel, he left as quickly as he could. He was disappointed, but not surprised. Nobody wanted a loser. 
Chapter 2
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carpe-mamilia · 2 years
Text
Costumes on the Cheap
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[Text ID: "In case anyone else is super annoyed by every single new show ending up being “mid” and wondering why it’s basically because of the New Studio System™ of streaming services and the constant push for content at all cost as fast as possible, and here’s what you’re not noticing (that you actually do notice every time) that’s making it worse.
Basically because of the extreme push to make the ✨New Best Thing✨ that executives believe can grab a huge dedicated fan base, the pre-production time for creating MASSIVE new visual feasts is fractured into mere months alongside a severely lessened budget because of the huge extra costs of rushing each department to meet the proposed deadline. I can’t speak professionally for set design or VFX and cinemomatography, but I can say that the toll it takes on costuming and hair/makeup has made almost every new release from Amazon, Netflix, and Hulu have a B movie visual quality that’s becoming harder and harder to ignore the more we’re flooded with it.
For instance with the upcoming Rings of Power by Amazon, the reason Peter Jackson’s original trilogy stands so strongly 20+ years later is partly because the production spent years hand making every single piece of armor with real metal, hand dyeing all natural fiber fabrics and designing distinct embroidery and hairstyles specific to each race in middle earth that had continuity through the story. The natural dyes and dedicated layers of fabrics for elves/weaves for hobbit wool/dyes for Men had a much more muted medieval look, yet ethereal because of the slight detail you don’t REALLY notice but the depth draws your eye to every inch of the costume regardless. In figure 1 you can see they barely scrapped together an unnaturally gilded scale mail breastplate and just screenprinted a stretch long sleeve shirt to match underneath, all over a skirt in a single layer of a warped poly skirt. In figure 4 they just saved money on an elven wig altogether for a 2022 pompadour, with a velvet pleated priest smock (with crushed parts not even steamed out) and a neckline that isn’t tailored to fit like weve seen previously with Elrond or Celeborn.
Bridgerton (figure 2)I’ve bitched about enough already and it’s obviously not meant to be historically accurate which is totally fine, but the extreme RIT dye colorways on the multitudes on synthetic fabrics, the lack of topstitching on any of the mens tailoring and complete lack of any embellishment like beadwork or embroidery or proper undergarments to make the costuming fit correctly just make them look like a “regency gentleman” pattern from a McCall’s catalogue someone made really well for a Halloween party.
With the new house of the dragon show there’s already articles written about the wigs, and one of the main reasons they look so terrible is because they had to use synthetic hair for the Targaryen wigs. I’m 100% sure it’s due to budget, Daenerys’ wigs for season 8 were in the tens of thousands in cost. Because long white blonde human hair that has to be custom made into multiple wigs for a single character is a HUGE ask for a studio to approve budget-wise, there’s was most likely someone that decided to go with synthetic because of how many white bLondres they have in the show. The problem is that synthetic hair reflects light throughout the whole hair shaft, and it tangles extremely easily. With any shot where a character isn’t actively moving or is performing dialogue and the hair isnt being actively smoothed down every couple of second between shots, each flyaway is going to show up on camera if there’s any indirect lighting and look messy. Not only that, synthetic hair is also twice as thick per strand than human hair, so regardless of that the wigs are going to look bulky in an uncanny valley sort of way.
It’s been noticeable af with marvel the last few years, and it’s been super noticeable recently with every new show that gets rushed through to filming in order to get a release date within 1-2 years of a green light, but it’s going to be so fucking awful in 15-20 years looking back at all the potentially great but cheaply made media from this time period, the Shein era of Mass Media." End ID]
Original post can be found here
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niffala · 2 years
Text
Catch Your Breath (Pt. 1)
Pairing: Jake Jensen & OFC (Daphne)
Summary: Lost chances sometimes come around again. Jake wasn't about to let it slip by a second time.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, feels, cheating (not Jake or Daphne), hurtful pranks, missed opportunities, lots of reused movie dialog
A/N: Modern/partial high school AU. First part takes place in 2001. Reader insert version found here. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated. 
Series Masterlist Main Masterlist
Chapter 1
Daphne stood in the corner of the gymnasium, watery eyes drifting over the endless tacky streamers and balloons. For what students paid for tickets, you’d think the school could afford better quality decorations. Her sight landed on the giant banner and scoffed at the message, “Catch Your Breath. Yeah, and I hope ya choke on it.” She wiped her eyes, no longer concerned with keeping her makeup intact. The school’s mascot ‘Paulie the Pickle’ danced idiotically in the middle of the room, encouraging the crowd to join in. “What a fucking joke.” Prom was supposed to be one of the happiest and most memorable nights of your teenage years. It was memorable alright, but for all the wrong reasons.
The bane of her existence, the cheerslut Noel, set her sights on Daphne’s boyfriend the moment they arrived. She was currently on the rebound after breaking up with her on again - off again beau, John, and was looking for the next best thing. Daphne may have felt sorry for her if the girl had not spent the last four years making her life a living hell. Plus Noel refused to keep her hands to herself, latching onto Silas. Touching and flirting with him nonstop, completely ignoring that his girlfriend was right there.
Silas seemingly rebuffed her advances while his girlfriend was around, but the temptation was too much apparently. Daphne stepped away for a few minutes to chat with her friends. Only to turn around to find her boyfriend sticking his tongue down Noel’s throat. Oh, hell no! She marched over to them, grabbed a fistful of the slut’s hair and yanked her off Silas. 
“What the fuck, you bitch,” Noel’s whiney voice screamed.
“This isn’t what…”
Daphne saw red. “Silas don’t even try the ‘this isn't what it looks like’ excuse. You are so full of shit. I was gone for five minutes. How could you?”
Noel gave a fake pout, “Guess you should've kept a better eye on him. Can’t blame the guy when something this hot is around. Maybe if you worked out a little more he wouldn’t need me. Too bad, so sad.”
Resisting the urge to smack the girl in her face, Daphne squared her shoulders. “And I think it's incredibly sad that you only know how to value yourself based on how others want to use your body. You're going to live a very lonely life, Noel.”
Daphne pushed past the cheating jackass, avoiding his attempt to grab her arm. “Screw you, Silas, we’re done.” 
“Snookums, don’t be like that. It meant nothing. Just a slip up, I promise.”
She ignored her ex-boyfriend's empty words and walked away. He didn’t even apologize. They’ve been dating since sophomore year, lost their virginity to each other, planned to get married someday and he threw it away for that skank. She managed to hold back the tears until she found a quiet area by the benches. Sending her cousin a quick text asking for a ride home, she allowed herself to cry out her heartbreak. 
Jake Jensen was bummed, prom was nothing like he imagined. He spent so much money on a suit, the limousine and the perfect corsage for his beautiful date, only for her to humiliate him. Getting out of the limo, his date asked him for a kiss. Giddy, he closed his eyes and leaned in, only to be met with thin air. Opening his eyes, he found himself surrounded by the cheerleading team and half the jocks. They hollered and laughed as they pelted him with water balloons full of pickle juice. Their assault ended with his date calling him a loser and shoving a pickle in his face. Something the group found hysterical. 
He cleaned up as best he could, and stood under the hand dryers for what felt like hours, but the smell lingered. Jake came out of the restroom and plopped down on the nearest bench. Cringing as his not quite dry suit squished a bit. Just as he was deciding that he should go home, he heard sobbing. Turning his head he saw his classmate, Daphne crying.
He’d had a crush on her since forever, but she didn’t know he existed, especially with her hunky boyfriend around. Why was she alone? Looking around, Silas was nowhere in sight. Someone had to help her. Tentatively, Jake approached, “Hey, are you okay? Please don’t cry. If you tell me what’s wrong, maybe I can help?”
Daphne vaguely recognized the boy trying to console her. The blue eyes peering out from the large glasses, the messy hair, she’s seen him around. He took a lot of advanced courses and they didn’t run in the same circles, but he always seemed like a nice guy. “Not unless you can turn back time so I can stop my ex from making out with that slut, Noel and ruining everything.”
“I’m sorry, you deserve better than that dickhead.” Not having a tissue, Jake handed over his tie for her to dry her eyes. 
She sniffed and patted at her eyes, frowning, “Why do I smell pickles?”
“Shit, that’s me,” he admitted. “The um, the slut was my date, actually. Found out the hard way that it’s a long standing tradition for the head cheerleader to take the biggest nerd to prom, and have the popular kids douse him in pickle juice.” 
“What immature asshats. I’m sorry they did that to you.”
“It’s okay, I’ll live.” He offered his hand, “Jake Jensen.”
“Daphne Reyburn.” She shook his outstretched hand. “I do remember you, actually. I was in band with your sister. You and your friends talked your way into her last competition field trip by convincing the principal you guys had to jump up and shout ‘tequila’ when we played the song.”
Jake laughed, “That was worth it. And I believe our contribution helped you guys win second place.” 
“Oh, of course, couldn’t have done it without ya. Thanks.” She smiled and took a deep breath. Her phone chimed, alerting her of her cousin’s message. “Shit! She’s not coming for another hour.”
“Who?”
“Oh, um, my ride. For obvious reasons I want to get the hell out of here.” As if she needed proof the universe was against her, Silas and Noel started playing tonsil hockey a few feet away. She felt sick. “Think I can get away with pulling the fire alarm?”
Jake spotted the new couple, knowing how it must be hurting Daphne, “Or I can start a fire.” Her loud snort made him smile. He offered her some punch while she waited, she accepted. Clicking his tongue and making finger guns, he ventured to retrieve the beverages. Swiftly returning and handing her one.
Daphne raised her glass, “Cheers to high school clichés; computer nerds, band geeks, bullies, slutty cheerleaders, hurtful pranks, and being dumped at prom. We got the whole teenage experience tonight.”
“To the horrible teenage experience,” he toasted to the absurdity of the night. The conversation continued to flow easily between them. He took the chance and asked her to dance before she left. Almost regretting it when she said yes, because he did not know how to.
Luckily, Daphne did. Jake covered up his nervousness by singing while they swayed. When the song ended, he wanted to kiss her so bad, but knew it was too soon. So he placed a kiss on her hand. Earning him a breathtaking smile. 
He accompanied her outside and waited on the school steps. Wanting to see her smile again, he tried to impress her by doing a backflip off the railing. “And the crowd goes wild.”
“That was awesome.” When he bowed, she continued, “To be fair, I'd have liked it just as much if you fell on your face.”
Jake scoffed, “How rude. You know you loved it.”
“Hey, I wanted to thank you for making tonight tolerable. Tell ya the truth, I wish we would have come to prom together. We would have had a great time. No drama, no embarrassment.”
“Well I still had a great time. My favorite part was when I was the unwitting victim of a seriously dumb prank, but the all-night clinging stench, that was good times.” He shook his head, “Honestly, you're the only reason I stayed. Turned my night around. You’re an amazing girl, Daphne. Maybe we can hang out some other time.” Jake wanted to ask her out properly, but not until she was ready. 
She giggled, “Some time when you don’t stink of pickles.”
He nodded, “When I’m back to my regular freshness, I promise you can smell me anytime you want. I give you full permission to just take a whiff whenever you fancy.” Jake lifted his arm, leaned in and exaggeratingly gagged. “Just not now though.” He started asking for her number when a car pulled up honking.
The driver stuck their head out the window, “Move your ass, Daphne. I haven’t got all night.”
“I got to go. Thanks again, Jake. I’ll see ya around.” She ran down the stairs and hopped into the waiting vehicle. 
Jake sighed as the car sped off. “Oh, that sucked.” It would be okay though, they still had a month of classes left. He’d get another chance.
---------------
Two weeks later, despite his best efforts, Jake had not run into Daphne yet. He kept expecting it to happen organically, but alas, it did not. They didn’t share any subjects and his class times never matched up with hers. They never ran into each other in the hallways because their schedules kept them in different parts of the school. Exams started next week and Jake knew there’d be no chance to see her until graduation if he didn’t do something now. 
A lightbulb went off in his brain. The next day he arrived early and broke into her locker. He wrote a small note with his name and number and placed freshly picked flowers on top. He hoped she liked them. His neighbor, Mrs. Shaw certainly did, and hopefully wouldn’t notice that he nabbed a few from her garden.
Daphne had been doing her best to find Jake. She didn't know his schedule or where his locker was. It was frustrating, she felt like she was just missing him. If she'd just be a minute earlier, or later, she’d see him. Today she even waited outside by the entrance as long as she could before class started, sweating her butt off in the heat, and he never entered the building. Another day gone without running into the one person she wanted to see. Huffing as she opened her locker, Daphne was greeted with a bunch of flowers wilted to a mushy mess. Ugh, they were probably from Silas. She scooped them up and threw the flowers in the nearest trash can. Never seeing the piece of paper stuck to the bottom. 
Her exams flew by and before Daphne knew it, she was walking across the stage to receive her diploma. Time to celebrate, high school was finally behind her. When the ceremony was over, she went on the hunt for Jake. Knowing where he would be sitting alphabetically, she made a beeline for his section, hoping she wasn’t too late. She was almost there when someone stopped her.
“Daphne, hey, congratulations. We made it.” Silas gave her a bear hug.  
Trying to get this encounter over with, she decided to play nice. “Congrats to you too. Glad all that is over.” She tried to get him to put her down, but he took it as an invitation to kiss her. She pushed him away and demanded he let her go.
Silas’ face fell, “I miss you, Snookums. Don’t you miss me?”
“I don’t have time for this.”
“If it’s because of Noel, I swear we aren’t a thing anymore. She was just a phase, Snookums. It was no big deal, nothing really happened, so I don’t see why we can't get back together. I love you and I know you're the only girl for me.”
Daphne crossed her arms, “So this would have nothing to do with the fact she's back together with John?”
“Of course not.”
“And you weren’t caught having sex with her in the library after our history exam.” At least he looked ashamed. She was so done with him. “We are not getting back together, Silas. I wish you the best, but it’s not going to happen. I have to go. Take care of yourself.” 
The G - K section was empty by the time she pushed through the crowd to get there. She continued searching in vain for Jake in the sea of people. Once the venue was down to a few stragglers, she knew she missed him. Guess he wasn't serious about seeing her again after all. 
Jake rode shotgun in his friend’s car, on their way to a party. He looked for Daphne at graduation, but when he spotted her, she was embracing and kissing Silas. His heart fell at the sight. Guess they made up. Throwing in the towel, he left as quickly as he could. He was disappointed, but not surprised. Nobody wanted a loser.
Chapter 2
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purplesurveys · 2 years
Text
1415
survey by shanynx73
Is it raining where you are? Not right now, but it does every now and then. It’s easy to tell when it will too, because it will almost always be extremely extremely humid for those days.
Would you ever get a white phone? I’ve always loved to have a white phone, but when my parents used to be the ones to buy me phones they preferred black haha. Then when I finally had the chance to get myself my own phone, the only available variant was blue. I would’ve waited it out till I found a white one; but my old phone was pretty much unusable at that point that I had to get the blue one.
What was the last board game you played? I haven’t played a board game in years since I struggle to understand most of them lol, but I did play Cards Against Humanity last weekend.
What color is the floor in the room you're in? White with black tile borders.
What color do you see the most of right now? There’s a yellow hue to everything since the living room light is yellow.
Are you more hungry or thirsty right now? I am hungry. I only have one meal a day, so.
Have you wasted any money lately? Nah. I’ve actually spent a quite a bit recently since I treated my family to dinner in the last two weekends, and I also bought my cousin a gift for her 16th birthday...OH and I also just booked a beach trip with friends for my birthday that I paid for entirely, so I’m being really careful with my money these days.
How about lost any money? I mean I sort of listed everything down for you in the previous question, hahaha. Yeah, I’ve lost a bit of money.
What's your favorite kind of tea? I don’t like tea. Sometimes I’ll drink iced tea but most of the time it’s too sweet for my liking.
Would you rather go back to the 80's and 90's for a week? Mmm, maybe the 90s. I don’t find either decade super interesting but at least I can watch Friends haha.
If you could only wear one color of socks ever, what would you choose? Purple.
What color hairties do you normally use? Black. The black hairtie on my wrist is pretty much a part of my identity at this point and could might as well be tattooed on me lol.
Do you prefer mints or gum? Mints. Don’t really like food staying in my mouth for too long even if gum isn’t technically food.
Have you been sleeping well lately? I’d say so. I sleep the entire night away, which is as good as it gets.
Popsicles or fudgeicles? I’ve never even heard of the second one, so I guess the first one wins by default. Fudgesicles sound amazing though.
When was the last time you made a sandwich? I never really make sandwiches...I did try making avocado toast once, but that was like, 7, 8 months ago.
Blush or bronzer? Bronzer, if I ever do wear makeup.
Is it more important to you to have your fingernails or toenails painted? Neither, I never cared.
Would you rather your sheets be red or green? Not a fan of either color since I’d rather my sheets be neutral tones, but I guess I’d pick green as long as it’s an olive/moss-y shade.
Have you bought any bracelets recently? Hmm, I don’t think so. I did buy a set of rings about a month ago though.
What was the last reason you bought or recieved a card? I got a Starbucks card for my cousin since she said she wanted one for Christmas.
How do you normally wear your hair? It’s usually down these days since I do want to make the most out of my dyed hair hahaha. But when it gets too hot, that’s when I tie it up in a ponytail or bun.
Do you use a belt normally? I never wear belts. Never really been an accessory type of person, and the most I’d add to an outfit is a bag.
What do you put on your hot dogs? Just mayonnaise.
How about on your tacos? I never have tacos.
Do you like watermelon? Watermelon-flavored stuff, sure. I never eat watermelon on its own though.
What color is your favorite blanket? White.
What day of the week is it? Thursday. Thank fucking FUCK it’s Friday tomorrow.
What's the most adventurous thing you've done this week? The fact that it took me all of two minutes to decide I’m bringing my friends to Zambales on my birthday weekend and pay for everyone’s accommodations.
Would you prefer a brick house or a log cabin? Brick house.
Patio or porch? Patio. I don’t really like being out in the open, haha.
Pool or trampoline? Pool. I have little interest in a trampoline.
Leggings or yoga pants? Leggings, I guess. I’m not a big fan of either though and would much rather wear denim jeans or sweatpants.
Do you like b.l.t.s? As in the sandwich? It’s fine but I would remove the T, ha.
What was the last drink you ordered at a restaurant? I only ever get water.
Have you went to a Burger King or McDonald's more recently? I was just at a McDonald’s drive-thru Sunday morning.
Do you remember your last dream? Hmm, come to think of it I don’t.
Do you like going for car rides? I love love love car rides, especially if I know we’re headed somewhere far.
Do you have a tree in your yard? Just a tiny one, but yes we do.
When was the last time you lit a candle? It’s been months.
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sturkillerbase · 15 days
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I have thought about how and what I would write this text for a very long time now (months, honestly), and yet I’m now sitting here staring at my keyboard without having any idea how to even begin.
Now, this is a longer version of a previous, more straight forward post, which you probably got here from. If not, well, this is basically a letter(?) of what has been going on in my life ever since 2022, when I vanished from this website. I didn’t get into specific details because that would make this post unnecessarily long, and also there’s very personal information in all of it. You understand.
I’m sorry if my paragraphs don’t make much sense. I was stuck in the beginning, but then as I started writing, all just came to me and I just kept writing without paying attention to coherence.
Well, here we go.
2022 wasn’t easy. Good things happened, but I was down, and I only realized, or, better yet, accepted how down I was by the end of 2023. It’s been a long journey – longer mentally than it’s been in actual time. To me, it felt like 2023 was, at the very least, two years long. 2022 seems to have happened such a long time ago, and also seemed to last for longer than 12 months.
I started my post grad by the very end of 2022, in the area that I’ve always dreamed of working, and while I am very happy with it and I like the things I’ve studied so far, it has come with a lot of issues. Not only the regular struggles of a student, but also issues with the institute. Me and my classmates have been dealing with a lot of problems with the school we’re in for several months now, and this has been draining a lot of my energy and leaving me with quite a bad humor (there might even be a lawsuit – yes, it’s that bad).
Now, the regular stress of being in a university, along with unnecessary problems AND figuring out things about myself has left me in a state of constant tiredness. Around August of last year, I began to feel exhausted. And by October-November, I was so overtaken by exhaustion that I just accepted any fate that came my way, no matter how bad it was. I was sure that I was gonna fail my last three classes of the year. How I didn’t, I honestly do not know.
I stopped doing the things that I like. I barely watched any movies or series. I didn’t read for fun. I don’t know when was the last time I drew something. I only wrote academic texts. I gave up on any ideas I had before I even started them. I closed myself to the world and lost contact to many people I know, dear friends even. I haven’t been passionate about anything in over a year and I miss that. I miss that so much.
Also, by the end of 2022, I had a health issue that led to a drastic body change, and of course everyone just had to make all kinds of comments on how I looked and compare me to how I used to look – and even make some jokes about it. It happened absurdly fast, and I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. I stopped doing my makeup (a therapy to me), and I avoided taking photos at all costs (and hated and deleted the ones I did take).
Last but no least, I spent more than half the year broke. Paycheck to paycheck. I only got to breath again this very month. It was actually surprising how something that required a great amount of money happened every month, I could barely save a single buck. That alone is enough to mess up with your head and increase stress to off-world levels.
Although a lot of stuff that happened have a root in 2022, this was all in 2023. 2022 was a case apart, and I might make a post talking about it, but, honestly? It’ll more like a vent, a dump on everything that happened, than anything else. I don’t want, much less expect, to make people feel sad about my life or any other dramatic act like that.
Well, moving on!
Now, as I said, good things happened in 2023 as well, and I’m not going to focus on the bad ones only. So here’s a list of good (and great) things/things that made me happy last year (in no specific, much less chronological order):
I was finally studying what I wanted to;
I began taking Italian classes, met very nice people, and became friends with the teacher, an amazing person;
I got my first job!!! (as an English teacher/tutor)
I had the chance to see one of my all-time favorite bands live;
To see that band, I traveled to a city I’d been to 10 years prior and always dreamed of going back.
It was in the neighboring country, so international traveling I guess(?) (you might be thinking “But Ana, how were you able to do that if you had money problems?” Well, I had saved money for this event alone and never touched it, and my money problems started after I came back home);
I joined a group of fans so I wasn’t alone at the concert and made friends with many people there;
Had a weird fling with one of them actually (weird not as in bad, but as in complicated. Story for some time else);
Lowered the posology of my medicines three times!!!;
Barbenheimer!;
Went to my first ever stand-up comedy show and it was pretty fun. Went to others after that;
Left my job – it was stressing me out with, again, unnecessary, easy to solve problems. Leaving was the best decision to make for the sake of my already weakened mental health;
Became a private teacher;
Went to a concert of an artist I grew up listening to and admiring (also the ticket was a gift!);
Didn’t flunk any classes.
That’s all I can think of so far. I might add more to this post as I remember things or as some of you ask me about.
Also, I’ll start writing my final article very soon, and that’s gonna be a whole new rollercoaster. But that’s something for future Ana to worry about. No point crying over not-yet-spilled milk.
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'Consumption and Materialism' Reflective Journal - Part 1
October 24
The things people will buy… On social media today I saw an advertisement for a Sephora ‘advent calendar’.  It includes a gift item per day. Days of opening personal care items, probably unnecessary, the wrong color, something a person doesn’t even use as a rule. It’s like going into the store and picking up any random 12 items…and heading to the checkout to pay for them. It’s like buying items for a skin condition that you don’t have, or a replacement product for a trusted personal care item. All separately packed. This makes no sense to me at all. Why would I buy makeup and skin care items that I don’t need or use? Sephora is a popular brand, and for young men or parents wanting to make their girl happy at Christmas time, this may seem like a great purchase. Do we care if they will actually use the 12 items inside? Probably not.  Will she even use half of these items? Probably not. But we feel satisfied because we think this is a fun gift idea that she will love.  She will probably even be excited when she sees it! But the reality is that the surprise bag of goodies contains mostly useless items that end up in the trash.  The Christmas season brings with it the desire and usually the feeling of pressure to purchase things for others, most times unnecessary items, just so that we can buy ‘something’.  It’s wasteful and prompts the continuation of such trends or traditions. Commercial business capitalizes on all of this and generates even more products, marketing, and advertising. 
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Credit - Sephora
October 25
I bought the bell…!  My 21 year old daughter asked me to take her to the mall about 20 minutes from our home.  At her age, the desire to have nice clothes is an important aspect of life, as going out with friends or to the gym requires looking good.  No longer do most people throw on old sweat pants and go out to the garage to workout, many people today go to local gyms, pay membership, and feel the need to wear particular brands of workout clothing and footwear:  “You can’t show up in that.” Purchased ‘Pre Workout’ powders are part of the routine too, so one can show up with a serious beverage in hand, and big name headphones waiting to blast motivating music.  So as she looks throughout the athletic clothing, I excitedly head over to look at… ahhh, Christmas decor…. It is an exciting time of the year.  For me, it is the decorations that I love.  I enjoy making the house feel cozy and beautiful. There it all is… so much to look at and choose from.  So much in the way of wreaths, blankets, cushions, little houses, signs… all different colors, sizes, styles… Looking at it all creates anticipation for the upcoming season.  Some remind me of childhood.  Some I look at and question “Who would buy this?” What a waste of hard earned money. Other stuff I love, and wonder how it would fit in my home? Do I need it? No. I have so much already… Does it make the holiday any better? No. Do I have the money to spend on it… maybe… but could that money be spent better somewhere else? Yes. I realize that I am better at talking myself out of purchases now than I was in the past.  Even though I probably have more disposable income now than I did ten years ago.  Maybe that is why I hold back more?…Maybe I am learning.  I do love those gold-colored rustic bells though... And last year when I seen them in Toronto, I felt that I had won the shopping lottery and bought two.  Here they are right in front of me, in Sydney no less… I hymn and ha over it and decide to allow myself to get one.  I think to myself, ‘some of my Christmas decor is dated, and it’s probably a good idea to add a little bit of new?’  I remind myself that I will have this for many years to come, and someday I may be able to pass decorations on to my grown children. And I resisted choosing anything else to buy… it’s only one thing. After I check out I realize that purchasing something provides a little bit of a boost, a happiness, something to look forward to when I start decorating, to set out, to look at.  I can’t wait to show it to my daughter.
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Credit - Instagram
October 27
Dollar stores… where were dollar stores years ago when I was young and newly married?  We all could have saved a lot of money on things. If my mother were alive today, she would love this store so much. Everything is so cheap, and this store is filled with things that we could easily pay two or three times as much for somewhere else.  Dollar stores provide consumers with everything from personal care products, to toys, household necessities, craft supplies, and everything else you could need.  How many of us have wondered how in the world these items could be made and then sold for so little money? The materials alone. Then there is the labor, the workmanship making this basket… transportation costs, and wages? How is this only $2? But most of us dismiss that thought soon after, and keep looking for cheap treasures. Buying food here doesn’t seem like a good idea to me at all.  There is some reason why all of these items ended up here, and if there is an issue with a food item, then I don’t want it. However, I notice that some people shop the food aisle, and fill their basket with items that are much lower in price than Sobeys.  It doesn't matter if I need these right now,  but I am always looking for paint brushes so I will grab four or five, since they are only $2 each.  By the time I walk through the aisles, I have a few items in a basket.  Most of these items I would've bought somewhere else anyway.  I found myself picking out a Halloween card for my niece in Ontario…  I’ve just spent five minutes looking at the different options, then realize that it is too late to send a card, and that maybe that is not necessary, so I put the card back.  When I was young, nobody ever sent me a Halloween card.  That really is a crazy idea, probably another way for companies to sell me something.  As we purchase these cheap treasures, we are often ignorant of the natural resources that have been sacrificed, and to where these items will likely be in just a few short months.  Many of us will fill a bag with donation items this holiday season, to make room for more stuff, and drop it off in the local donation bin.  We walk away feeling satisfied believing that it will be reused.  The less consumers know, the happier they are. 
October 28
It’s the weekend and I need to start housecleaning for the winter season. There is so much stuff in this house it’s a bit overwhelming.  The storage room is full. I often can’t find particular items that I need, and I know that I sometimes re-purchase things that I already have. The girls' rooms are messy looking, as too much stuff prevents ‘tidying up’ from really making an impact. They don't think they have too much stuff. They love going to Walmart and the Dollar Store and coming home with new things. Their rooms look fine to them. But I am at the stage in my life where I like it clean, simple, organized.  Where do I start?  I want to purge so much stuff.  As I head to the storage room with bravery, and an attitude that I am going to clear it out, I soon lose my battle…It is so hard to part with things that I may ‘need’, the girls may look for, or that there is a memory attached to… I feel defeated, and these items feel heavy on me.  I really thought that I was going to make a big difference here today. I feel disappointed.  I lost the battle with our stuff.   I remind myself to stay out of the stores…
October 29
“Things you didn’t know you needed”... There is something cool about watching her put it all together. I think of how well equipped my daughter’s car is as I watch the video.  I like the idea of being prepared and organized. But do we really need all of that stuff in our car?!  Tik Tok shares ‘great Amazon finds’, and some are focused on restocking your car.  There are these sweet little car bags that have pretty little items in them, all compact and attractive, looking like you are prepared for anything. It makes you want to buy all of these items and also pack up a neat little bag to store all of your car ‘essentials’, such as lotions, lip balm, a variety of perfumes, deodorant, a migraine stick, are those face masks?...   There is a large compartmentalized bag filled with a variety of snacks, drinks, blankets, and everything you can think of.  There are more personal care products in that car than in my two home washrooms combined. This advertisement for car organization is satisfying to watch, and you have to admit that some items are cool, like the car window film, and vent sauce holders...  Who knew you needed a small diffuser in your car?  I end the video realizing that I don’t even have so much as a box of Kleenex in my car.  
youtube
October 30
She ‘can’t wait until her Shein order comes in’.  I’ve heard these words uttered many times.  Shein is a website that my girls like to use to pick out clothing.  It is easier to shop online than to find time to head to the mall and walk from store to store looking for items.  It can be done here and there in spare time. The added benefit is that you are provided with reviews and photos from other people who purchased the item.  Every few months the girls will put an order together.  While it may be good that we save gas driving to the mall, and the items are fairly inexpensive, the risk of something not fitting or them not liking and not wearing it, is likely.  But the clothes are cheap, so it’s worth the risk to them. Many people order from Shein, and also shop on other sites and at other stores such as Urban Plant, because the clothing is cheap. Cheap clothes means we can afford to buy new items, or more clothing more often.  I am aware that this is fast fashion, and that these clothes come from China.  I also know that the work conditions of those who make these clothes are probably not equitable.  I am aware that these are not quality items, so they will likely end up being donated in a few months.  I encourage the girls to go to the mall and look for better quality clothes. Things that will last, and that are basic and not trendy. I have sweaters and pants that I have had for many years.  They have served me well. If you spend a good amount of money on an item, but you wear it many times, the cost-per-wearing can be pretty low, and the item serves many years of service.  
October 31
What am I going to do with all of these treats?  Nine trick-or-treaters showed up tonight.  That is it.  Although I did not have many last year, three years ago I had about 60.  So on the way home from work, I felt that last minute concern that I should stop and get more pop and treats, and prepare more treat bags.  When my girls go out in the neighborhood at Halloween, they always come back with these amazing treat bags, with endless treats inside. I wonder how much money my neighbors actually spend on treats.  At some level, I have to keep up. When I was a child trick or treating, I would have had to go to a dozen homes to get all the treats that they get in now in one door knock… I shake my head because children really do not need all of this junk food, and I question how we got to this point where the reward is so great for dressing up and knocking on doors.  Now I have all of these bags of treats and I wish that I could return the items to the store. It’s a strange game we play trying to be sure that we have enough, worried that we may run out. Only to end up overspending, and stuck with food items that we don’t want, and certainly do not need. 
November 2
It’s all very confusing and I feel like none of them are probably safe or nutritious.  Yet, I am pushed to purchase the most expensive option, and that big price tag is supposed to help me to feel like it is the best choice.  There are so many brands of dog food, and each one claims that it meets the nutritional needs of my dog.  Each brand has many options to choose from based on the age and activity level of your pet, so it seems like you're selecting a custom formula.  There is even dog food formulated for specific breeds only, with a cute picture of a perfect happy Yorkie on the bag. How many people buy into that? Plenty I bet. What a marketing idea that is.  But of course, you should never buy your pet food from a grocery store, the place where you buy your own groceries...  That food is not good… No, if you love your pet and are a good owner, you must purchase your pet food at a Veterinarian's office or at a reputable pet store.  I’ve been made to feel guilty for not buying my dog food at the vet.  Turning them down made me feel like less of a pet parent.  Unworthy of a good dog. Our new puppy came with instructions from the breeder to only feed him Royal Canin puppy food. This brand claims that “Each formula has been created to deliver nutrition tailored to your pet’s health needs”. But really, don’t they all claim that?  Shouldn’t they all be striving to provide that?  Animal health experts often speak out about processed dog food, and claim that its nutritional value is very low because it has been cooked, altering food's chemical structure, and making it difficult for a dog to digest.  Yet, the 13 lb bag of brand name puppy food just cost me $102 with taxes paid.  As a consumer, I am not sure what else to do, as I try to provide the best for my dog, while also not being fooled into thinking that I actually am…
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Theo
November 3
Instagram provides me with daily images of house decor that I love.  Simple, clean, cozy rooms with gorgeous throw pillows, lamps, throw blankets… I love it all. And of course, I wonder how I could make my house look more like this.  I even find myself snapping screenshots to put in my album ‘Home Decor Ideas’ on my phone.  I follow a few decorators on social media, and there is one in particular, I love all of her ideas.  Of course that means that I need to change my paint colors, and get a new kitchen table.  I’ve gone to local furniture stores looking for something similar to what she has, but I can’t find it.  I allow myself this to some degree because I do not spend a lot of money on clothing or anything else, home decor is what I enjoy. But it never really ends.  It is a cycle of changing up paint and decor items as the trends change.  I quickly tire of patterns, and want something else.  What I think will really spruce up a room, only satisfies me for a short time, then I grow tired of it, and want a change. Of course, with each season you need to be ready to change, if you follow social media.  They have all of these different things for each and every season.  You can’t just have one chunky throw blanket, you need 4 or 5.  Presently I am looking for a clay-based lamp and a clay vase or two.  The current decor trend is homey, simple, neutral, and organic.  I’ve been in plenty of local stores looking for such things, yet can’t find them.  Cape Breton is sure behind in the times when it comes to decor!  So I go online and find some, however they are very expensive. The sticker shock stops me, and I wonder if it is really a good idea to pay $350 for a single lamp.  I tell myself that I don’t really need it, and snap back to reality.  Yet each time I see her posts on Instagram, I am drawn in, and making mental notes of a few items that I could add to my decor list. 
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Credit - Instagram
November 6
‘What do you want for Christmas?’  Now that my three daughters are grown up, I usually ask them what they want for Christmas.  I love surprising them with nice gifts, but I certainly do not want to buy anything that they won’t use or won’t like.  I have family and friends who go into debt during the holidays just so they can fill a room with endless gifts for their loved ones. I have never been in the habit of buying things just to say that I did.  I always try to get them something they’d really like and will use, as well as any new clothing items that they need for the upcoming winter season. In recent years, they don’t even know what to ask for. There is not much they need. But I have to buy them something, so I start looking for options and hope that something good comes along.  I often think of the other seasons and wonder if they could use a new lawn chair for next summer’s concert, or if I should start them on collecting necessary items for a future home. I am pretty good at avoiding a lot of the hype about the best new technology, and my goal is not to spend a ton of money.  I have always tried to make Christmas about the traditions and the family time.  For a number of years now, we have been filling a donation box of clothing and food items to donate to those in need.  It is a tradition that they now look forward to, and they put thought into the best food items to purchase to place in the donation box.  This is the best gift that I could get for Christmas, seeing them think of and care for others. 
November 7
‘It looks like a store in here’... How much camo can a guy have?  As I am housecleaning for the upcoming winter season, I walk into the room in which my husband stores all of his hiking and hunting gear.  It is overwhelming the amount of things that he has.  I can remember when times were simple, and hunters had an orange vest and a rifle.  Not anymore.  Did you know that it is necessary to have different types of camo for different seasons and animals that you are hunting? Now that we have large scale hunting and fishing stores such as Bass Pro, outdoor activities usually involve expensive gear.  No longer do most people make their own ice-fishing tents.  Stores sell quick set-up tents with convenient pouches for holding essentials, and viewing holes and windows to look through.  Things that used to involve individual creativity, recycling of materials, and people coming together on homegrown projects, have now been replaced with commercial items, and the need for significant money to be spent.   Perceived obsolescence means that a person feels pressured to buy these items, and that the old ways of doing things are no longer acceptable. Hearing these outdoor adventurists talk about their hobbies usually involves them discussing items they need to acquire, and the newest item that you can get, not the actual fun that they have while out there doing it. It’s sad that these wholesome activities have been overtaken by commercialism. 
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Credit - Eskimo Products
Shifting Patterns of Consumption - Part 2
In an effort to reduce my consumption, and to help the planet, there are a few things that I do, and I hope to add many more actions to the list.  The first is that I try to use online grocery shopping whenever possible.  This helps to reduce point of purchase sales, and helps me stick to the list of things that I ‘need’.  I feel that online grocery shopping is time and cost efficient, and allows me opportunity to ensure that I am only adding items to my cart that I will use.  Less impulsive purchases also means less waste, and less money spent. 
Another thing that I have changed about my habits is that I never put any plastic in the garbage.  I always put it in a recycle bag, in the hopes that it will indeed be recycled.  I used to put plastic food packaging and other types of plastic in my kitchen garbage.  Not anymore.  It pains me to see plastic takeout containers thrown in the trash.  Plastic bags may have been removed from shopping stores, but many items still come wrapped in plastic, such as wood pellets, frozen food products, some pet food, and a host of other items. If any of these items can be reused or recycled, and I sure hope they can, then I will always do my best to make sure they don’t go out with the trash. I have been encouraging my children and my students to always do what they can to help our planet. Every one person can contribute to an overall impact.
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ppersonna · 3 years
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swipe right - jjk | m
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“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers
♡ summary-  after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?
♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)
♡ word count- 9k
♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.
♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq​ for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia​ @untaemedqueen​ for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks​ and @hongism​ for the perusal and help in writing this!
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Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.
He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.
Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.
Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.
“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.  
You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”
“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”
You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.
“I’m at our park.”
Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.
“Give me five minutes, okay?”
You nod, even though he can’t see you. 
“Okay.”
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Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.
He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.
You still look so beautiful.
And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.
He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.
“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.
He sniffs haughtily. 
“The trash added character.”
Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.
“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.
He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.
“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”
You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.
“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”
Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.
“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.
“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.
“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.
Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.
He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.
“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”
“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.  
“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”
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As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.
You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it. 
“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water. 
He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk. 
“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.” 
Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo. 
“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?” 
You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above. 
“You call Jimin a prince?” 
Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband. 
“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.” 
You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?
“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.” 
“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.” 
You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own. 
“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.” 
“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.” 
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Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid. 
It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom. 
The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed. 
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The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it. 
Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can. 
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“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”
Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone. 
The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway. 
He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk. 
His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read. 
He just matched with YOU. 
His best friend. 
His secret, lifelong crush. 
He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it. 
YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!
He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen. 
JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?
You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other. 
Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message. 
JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀
Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone. 
A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend. 
YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies
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“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone. 
Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion. 
“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”
You huff. 
“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”
Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband. 
“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.
There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line. 
“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”
You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend. 
“It’s nothing!” 
“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.” 
“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”
“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.” 
You roll your eyes. 
“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”
“I’ll be expecting your call later.”
“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”
“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”
You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.
“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.
You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.
So, why do you care so much about what you wear?
You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.
Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?
The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.
You shake all thoughts off. 
No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.
You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.
Perfect.
With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.
JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!
ME: See you soon!
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Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.
Is he too casual?
He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.
Maybe it’s too much.
Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.
Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.
He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.
He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.
It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.
You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.
“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.
He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.
You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams. 
“Jungkook?”
It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.
“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.
“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.
“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.
“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.
“Oh?” He asks, taken aback. 
In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.
“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”
His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly. 
“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”
The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”
A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.
“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures. 
You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.
“Well, are we going?”
Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.
But he resists.
“Let’s go!”
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You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen. 
But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more. 
Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is. 
But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork. 
Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.
And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you. 
It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause. 
“What’s up?” He asks curiously. 
Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner. 
You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours. 
“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”
Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own. 
Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to. 
As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.
“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.
Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.
“What? We were going to get ice cream?”
You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.
You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.
“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.
His body stiffens.
“Okay, let me walk you home.”
You shake your head, already moving away from the man.
“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”
He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.
Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.
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You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.
“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.
“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”
“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.
“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.
“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator. 
Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.
“We’re on our way over.”
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Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.
Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.
Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.
“Tell us what happened,” Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”
Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.
“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”
Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.
“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”
Jimin nods knowingly.
“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”
“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”
Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze. 
“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”  
You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face. 
“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”
Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”
Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”
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Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.
You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.
Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light 
speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.
“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.
Ouch.
You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.
“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”
Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest. 
“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”
“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”
“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”
Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.
“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone. 
“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”
You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.
“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”
“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.
He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”
“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”
He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.
“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”
“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”
“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”
You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.
He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.
He can’t watch you run away from him again.
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“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”
Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.
“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”  
He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.
The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.
“Hi Kook.”
The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.
It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others. 
Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.
Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.
“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”
Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.
The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.
“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”
He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.
“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”
He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park. 
“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”
The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too. 
“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”
He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.
The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.
“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”
The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.
The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.
“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”
The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth. 
“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”
His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm. 
He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.
“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”
Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.
Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.
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The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.
It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.
It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing. 
Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.
Maybe it was too late.
You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it. 
“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”
“You should have brought a jacket.”
The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face  down the intruder.
Jungkook.
He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.
He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.
“You came.”
He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.
“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.
“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”
He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”
You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.
“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.
“Every word.”
His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.
“Why did you run away?” Another step.
You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.
“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”
One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck. 
“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”
You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”
All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes. 
“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently. 
“And I promise to never run away from you again.” 
Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel. 
“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself. 
“I would like it if you would.”
As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again. 
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“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with. 
“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing. 
“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”
Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss. 
Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.
“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip. 
“Really? I couldn’t tell.”
He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours. 
“You’re such a little smartass.”
His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly. 
He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed. 
“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?” 
You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement. 
“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.” 
Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited. 
“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle  his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs. 
His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge. 
“Oh fuck,” he breathes. 
“Feels pretty real, huh?”
“Y-yeah.” 
Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more. 
“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.” 
Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable. 
One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan. 
“How about this? Not a dream?”
He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water. 
“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”
You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently. 
“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue. 
“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue. 
You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets. 
“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”
He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully. 
“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.” 
He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body). 
Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are. 
“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”
Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down. 
“Still dreaming?” 
He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire. 
“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.
You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes. 
“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”
Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart. 
“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”
His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout. 
His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.
“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?” 
His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.
“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug. 
Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing. 
“I plan to find out everything.” 
Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.
“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.
“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.” 
He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss. 
He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you. 
“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.” 
Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body. 
He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.  
He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands. 
“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.” 
His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation. 
“You’re so pretty. So perfect.” 
He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.
His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.
One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.
“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”
His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.
“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.
“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”
Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.
“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”
He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.
“And I need you, my love.”
“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”
Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.
“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off. 
He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.
After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air. 
“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”
You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.
“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”
He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”
“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”
He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”
A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.
“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”
“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”
Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.
“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”
You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.
“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”
Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.
“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”
“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”
Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.
“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”
Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.
“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”
He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.
“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”
You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.
“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt. 
He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.
“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”
The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation. 
“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”
A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.
He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.
“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”
With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.
“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”
You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”
His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion. 
He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.
Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.
After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.
“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”
You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.
“All yours.”
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“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship. 
You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.
You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.
“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”
Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.
“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”
Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”
Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister. 
You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.
“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.
“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”
Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.
Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.
“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”
You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.
“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”
Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.
“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”
You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.
“Sure, Kookie.”
He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”
Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
Text
THE DEAL
a/n: i literally wrote it in less than a day because i was inspired by a movie... of god, i have issues, but ANYWAYS! this one is a classic friends with benefits to lovers story with so much angst and a grandiose love confession at the end so buckle up, you are in for a treat!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE give feedback if you enjoyed it!!
pairing: Harry X Reader
warnings: some, drinking, sexual content, a hell lot of it, angst and messy emotions, it’s a lot!!
word count: 11.8k
masterlist
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If your life was some romantic comedy his would be the moment where the camera would zoom on you, your eyes blankly glued to the ceiling, makeup from last night smudged under them as a muscular, inked arm gets thrown across your chest, a snoozing man beside you as you have the internal little monologue.
“You’re wondering how I got into this situation, right? Completely naked with one of my best friends after a night spent with heavy drinking and ending up fucking in his apartment until we both fell asleep.”
Yeah, this is probably what the voiceover would say as the camera would slowly get farther from you, Harry’s sleeping figure coming into the frame while you’re still lying like a damn statue. This was not supposed to happen. Not that it was bad, because oh God! Harry really is as good as his ex-girlfriends gushed to you when you met them on night outs. You could never blame the women for falling for him, he has the charm, the personality, the humor and definitely the looks. If you weren’t you, you’d be one of those girls who would do anything to get his attention just for a split second. But you’re not.
Growing up with a single mother that was repeatedly fucked over by several men, you were taught to be the kind of independent woman who needs no man. Who only uses them for whatever reason and throws them away before they could even realize what’s happening. Feelings could never be involved in the equations, those are just not for you.
For a while you thought you weren’t even capable of feeling anything at all. But the way you cried when your hamster you got for your sixteenth birthday died changed your mind and you realized that you are just saving yourself the time of allowing people to make you develop feelings for them and then give them the chance to break your heart. You’ve seen that happen to your mother enough times to know that you don’t want to go through that. It’s not worth it and why would you risk it all when you could easily get what you need and move on to the next one?
Your friends always joked how you’re gonna be the single aunt to their children later who would take them to clubs and honestly? You’re just fine with that. Because you always thought that while your married friends will be busy with keeping their marriage together with whatever pathetic man they chose to marry, you’ll be living your best life without a worry on the world. That sounds pretty good for you.
There’s no need to make it prettier than what it is, you’ve had a lot of hookups the past years but you always tried to keep yourself in check, have some kind of rules to follow so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. One of those were that under no circumstances would you ever sleep with a friend. No matter how badly you want to, no matter if they are begging, it can never happen.
But you broke that rule.
Turning your head to the side you look at Harry’s sleeping face squished into the pillow and you almost wince, because you know that when he wakes up, this gonna hurt like a bitch. He’s gonna freak out, or what’s worse, he’ll want to take it further, take you out on a date… be in a relationship with you! And you’ll have to break his heart because none of those will ever happen.
You and Harry went to high school together and he is one of the very few people you stayed in touch after graduation. Though you grew a little apart when you went to different universities, later on you both somehow ended up in New York and while you’re working as a graphic designer at a magazine, Harry is making good money from writing music for other artists. He’s been one of your closest friends these past years and while you’ve always found him attractive, you should have never let this happen, because it will mess everything up and you didn’t want to lose such a good friend.
Harry stirs in his sleep next to you, his hand squeezing your side before his eyes blink open, green irises finding your wide eyes. He stops for a moment, looking around, taking in his surroundings before his eyes fall closed again.
“Wow, must have been one wild night?” he mumbles into the pillow before a raspy chuckle falls from his lips.
Last night, the two of you and a couple of your mutual friends celebrated that Harry has gotten his biggest deal so far, having to write an entire album for an up-and-coming artist, so you all got pretty wasted, especially you and him. It’s a little blurry how the two of you ended up like this, but you do remember wildly making out hidden somewhere behind the bar before he asked if you wanted to come to his place. You stupid little thing, should have said no…
Groaning, Harry rolls to his back, his arm falling from you as he lies sprawled out next to you.
“The tequila shots. Shouldn’t have had them,” you rasp out, a smirk tugging on his lips at your words. “So, um… we both can agree this was a one time thing, right?”
Harry peeks at you, pushing himself up a bit so his head rests against the headboard. The sheets slide down a bit lower on his body, revealing his toned chest and his several tattoos. Memories of you kissing them eagerly last night flash into your mind and you can only hope you’re not blushing like a school girl.
“What if I don’t agree?” Harry cocks an eyebrow and you almost groan. You knew this was going to happen!
“Harry, I’m not going out with you. You know me, I don’t do that. It’s nice that you think that it could work between us, but I don’t do relationships and I’m not changing my rules, not even for you.”
Harry starts laughing, as if you just said the best joke of the century, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. You give him a puzzled look as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest.
“Who talked about dating, Y/N?” he then asks. “You said last night was a one time thing. We fucked last night. What if that wasn’t the only time we did that?”
You start to put the pieces together, though you’d definitely be sharper if you already had your first coffee of the day.
“Are you trying to start a… friends with benefits thing with me?”
“I mean, you could call it whatever you want. I personally really enjoyed last night and judging from the way you were screaming my name, you did too.” Now you’re for sure blushing. “Why not do it again?”
“This is not a movie, H. I don’t think it’s manageable without ruining our friendship.”
“Have you ever tried something like this?” You shake your head no. “Then how could you know?”
“Have you tried it?”
“Never,” he chuckles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. We are both cool, smart people. I think we can give it a try and whenever someone is feeling like they had enough, we’re just gonna stop.”
“What if you catch feelings?” you ask, raising eyebrows at him.
“Oh, but what if you fall for me?” he throws the question back with a cocky smirk and you smack his naked chest.
“You know I never do that!”
“I don’t think you can just decide that, but alright,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in defense. “I promise you I won’t catch feelings for you, Y/N. I swear on my…”
“Your mom’s and sister’s life!” you point at him. It’s clear that he thinks it’s silly, but you just keep staring at him until he gives in.
“I swear on my mum’s and my sister’s life that I will not catch feelings for you, Y/N.”
“Alright. And we can end it anytime?”
“Whenever you’ve had enough of me,” he smirks back, so pleased with himself that it’s clear he doesn’t think that could ever happen.
“If you keep that cocky look on your face it’s gonna be a very short deal, Styles,” you warn him, but he just laughs before he quickly pulls you back down to bed, getting on top of you, his hips sinking between your legs and you gasp when you feel that he is already semi-hard.
“Why don’t we get a head start on it then?” he offers, his lips crashing against yours before they travel down your body and soon enough he gives you something that’s a thousand times better than a coffee in the morning.
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At first you’re clearly hesitant about it. Not sure if it was a good idea or you just ruined everything between you and Harry, but soon enough you realize that it wasn’t as bad of a decision as you thought it to be.
Harry is the one to call you for the first time, two days after the night you drunkenly hooked up. You’re just leaving the office when he hits you up, asking if you have plans for the night or you’re free to go over to his place. An hour later you find yourself pressed up against the wall of his apartment’s hallway, both of you eager to get each other out of your clothes. Now that it all happens without either of you being drunk, you actually have the chance to think about how good it is with him. He is just the perfect mixture of dominant and soft, knows when to be the boss and when he has to slow down a bit.
He makes you cum three times. Three mind-blowing times, and you also give him two orgasms. You try to make it equal and make it three, but he respectfully says no.
“If you touched my dick again I think I would start crying,” he chuckles jokingly, so you don’t even think about pushing it.
Instead, the two of you order Chinese, have dinner together, talking like you always used to before the deal and then you go home. There’s no awkwardness, no weird situations, not even when you leave. Harry leans closer and for a moment you think he is gonna be corny and kiss you goodbye, but then you feel him smack your ass before pushing you out the door, just like he always did before, joking about how he is gonna charge you rent if you stay any longer.
Nothing has changed, only that you now spend a good chunk of your time together naked, moaning each other’s name before you get back to your usual.
So after that you don’t shy away from reaching out to Harry as well. It becomes a regular thing, the two of you meeting up about two of three times a week. You fuck, hang out a bit and go your separate ways. Slowly, you start to forget about times when you stayed dressed up for more than ten minutes after meeting Harry.
You keep switching between your and his place, but sometimes meet somewhere in the middle. You’ve had sex in a restaurant bathroom, in his car in a parking garage and even in his cousin’s place in Brooklyn. That was a bit odd but still quite pleasing.
Tonight is going to be the first time you’re gonna be out with all your friends and Harry since the deal was made. No one knows about it and you intend to keep it that way.
Once you’re done at work you head home, texting Leticia, another friend from high school to meet you at your place to get ready together. She was Harry’s friend at first, what’s better, she openly hated you at first for some reason.
“You just had a punchable face at fifteen, you can’t blame me,” she used to tell you. It was actually Harry who made the two of you friends and you’ve been close ever since.
You get to your apartment almost at the same time. Leticia starts rambling about her asshole of a boss at the law firm where she works at as you open a bottle of wine to start the evening while you roam through your wardrobe for an outfit.
“Is Leo coming? I owe him a few bucks from last time,” Leticia wonders, digging into your dresser for a pair of tights she can borrow to pair with her leather skirt.
“I think he is, but he is going to be late. He is coming from Staten Island from his dad’s,” you muse, checking yourself out in the red dress you just tried on, not quite pleased with the look, so you quickly work down the zipper and look for something else.
“Um, whose is this?”
Turning around you see that Leticia is holding up a shirt Harry left at yours a few days ago. She is clearly confused about the men’s clothing between your stuff, because you are not one to steal them from the men you sleep with since you don’t really want anything from them to remind you of them.
“Oh, um, that’s… That’s Harry’s. He left it here a few days ago,” you shrug, not making a big deal out of it, but Leticia is nosier than that.
“And why is Harry leaving his clothes around your place?”
“Is that a crime?” you snort, trying to play it cool.
“No, but in what kind of situation did this shirt come off of Harry and end up in your dresser?”
You can’t think of a good answer that would stop her from interrogating you, and the way you’ve just gotten silent is telling her more than words could. She drops the shirt, eyes widening at you and it’s clear that she put two and two together.
“Oh my God! You’re sleeping with Harry!”
“No! I’m… I just—We…”
“You two are totally fucking! What the fuck!” she gasps in complete shock as you pinch the bridge of your nose.
“Let me explain it, alright? W-We hooked up on the night when we went out to celebrate his big album deal.”
“When I couldn’t go, right?”
“Yeah. So we were both very drunk and it just happened. And I really thought it would ruin everything but we somehow ended up making a deal.”
“Jesus, you guys are acting out the Friends With Benefits movie? Who are you, Mila fucking Kunis?”
“It’s not like that!” you defend yourself quickly, but then you realize that it’s just like that so far. “Well, it kind of is, but the ending won’t be like that.”
“Do you really think you can just do it with absolutely no strings?” Leticia sighs, her hands coming to her hips as she stares back at you.
“It’s been going great, so I really think it’s doable. And if any of us decides they had enough, we’ll just call it quits.”
“Yeah, because it’s that easy,” she rolls her eyes. “One of you will catch feelings and someone is gonna end up crying, Y/N.”
“No, that’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head stubbornly. “He promised it won’t happen.”
“Feelings don’t give a shit about promises! I hope you really know what you’re doing, because I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you,” she grumbles before throwing Harry’s shirt back into the drawer, grabbing the tights she’s been looking for.
Leticia doesn’t hold a grudge for the news she just found out, but she surely has gotten you thinking. Is it really gonna end bad? Why can’t there be a scenario where it goes perfectly fine and no one gets hurt? Harry promised it’s gonna be alright and he has been proven right so far, so why are you having second guesses now?
Arriving at the bar the majority of your friend group is already there, including Harry. You sit across him in the small booth, just exchanging a quick smile before the first round arrives and the evening starts. You allow yourself to take a better look at him while he listens to Mitch’s story and you can’t say that you don’t find him hot. He is wearing a vintage, floral printed shirt, the first few buttons left undone, so you have a nice view of his chest and his necklace you’ve felt under your lips so many times before when you were kissing down his body. He keeps twisting and playing with his several rings and it makes you stare at his hands for a tad bit longer than you intended to. God, he looks so damn good, you really just want to fuck him here and now.
You keep changing who goes up to the bar to order and the third round is yours, so sliding out of the booth you go to the bar and wait for your turn. A young, handsome guy is making the drinks and you clearly catch his eyes.
“And what can I get for you, beautiful?” he smirks at you when it’s finally your turn.
“Two vodka sodas, a martini and three vodka cranberries,” you smile back at him with a hint of flirting in your tone.
It’s kind of second nature to you, a few charming smiles and winks have gotten a lot of free things for you in your life and you never miss a chance to use your advances.
“All that for one pretty girl?” he teases you.
“I would be all over the floor if I drank all of it,” you chuckle, pulling your card out of your wallet, tapping it on the terminal as he finishes up the drinks, kindly putting them on a tray so you can easily bring them over to the booth.
“Don’t worry, I would surely pick you up then,” he winks at you, placing the last drink to the tray before you thank him and head back.
As you take your previous seat you notice that Harry is watching you intently.
“What?” you mouth him over the conversation at the table.
“Nothing,” he shakes his head, turning his gaze away, grabbing his drink and focusing back on everyone else.
You go up to the bar two more times, once to ask for some chips and once for some napkins after a drink has gotten spilt onto the table. Every time you exchange a few words with the bartender and you have to admit, he has a great sense of humor paired with his looks.
Sometime later in the evening you decide to switch to water, so you go up to the bar a fourth time, the bartender coming to you right away at this point. As you wait for him to grab you your drink you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning to the side you see Harry standing next to you.
“Hey, want to come to my place after this?” he asks, leaning closer to your ear. His hot breath hits your exposed skin on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine, especially with his hand still on the small of your back.
“You want a rerun of your first time?” you smirk back at him, referring to the drinks you both have had, though it’s definitely not as wild as that night was.
“No, but this dress is making it hard not to want to rip it off,” he bluntly tells you as you glance down at yourself. At last you decided to wear a black bodycon dress that surely shows every dip and curve of your body and apparently Harry has been enjoying the show.
The bartender arrives with your water, his eyes falling on Harry and you see that he is a little taken aback by his presence.
“Hey man, can you get me another one as well? I’ll pay for both,” Harry nods at him and there’s something foreign in his tone that you can’t really put your finger on. The bartender just nods back and goes to grab another water.
“What if I wasn’t in the mood?” you tease him, continuing the discussion where you left it a moment ago.
“Oh, please!” he chuckles smugly. “I saw you eyeing me from across the table, Y/N. I know you are definitely in the mood.”
He is right. So damn right. You’ve been crossing your legs under the table for a while now, feeling your arousal growing every time you saw him run his tongue over his lips or whenever his finger played with the lip of his glass, imagining him doing the same with your body.
Biting into your bottom lip you need to take a deep breath, but when Harry sees your teeth digging into your lip, he loses his patience.
“Or we can just do it now,” he growls lowly, grabbing your hand before he starts pulling you towards the restrooms. You don’t even have the chance to protest, not that you want to.
He is quick to pull you into an empty restroom, locking the door behind the two of you before his lips attack yours, pushing you against the door with vigor and hunger. His hands are already bunching your dress up around your waist and you moan his name when your hips meet and you feel his hard length through his jeans.
“We have to be quick, so no one notices we disappeared,” he pants as he helps you up to the counter, your back hitting the cold mirror behind you.
“Then shut up and just fuck me,” you challenge him and it makes him absolutely feral.
You don’t have time to enjoy it the way you usually do in bed, but the excitement of the situation alone has gotten you so wet that you’re already dripping when he pushes your panties to the side with one hand while his other works on his own pants.
“Fuck, already so wet for me, huh?” he breathes out, his lips brushing against yours before they kiss you fully.
“Just like how you’re rock hard for me,” you grin against his lips, a hand wandering down to his cock as you pull it out of his boxers, stroking it a few times before he pulls a condom out of his back pocket and wraps himself up. “Were you counting on this quickie, Styles?” you ask when you realize that he just had a condom ready on him.
“I knew for sure I’m gonna fuck you tonight, but wasn’t sure how long I’m gonna last,” he grins, capturing your lips again before he pushes himself inside you with no warning, making you both gasp.
“Fuck! Harry!” you moan as he starts moving rapidly, definitely not taking his time like he usually does. He is pounding into you without mercy, panting against your lips as his ring clad fingers are digging into the flesh of your thighs.
“You like that? Like it when I fuck you somewhere public?” he growls, making your legs curl around his hips.
Your hands move up his chest and neck, fingers tangling into his curls and you give them a tug, earning an animalistic grunt from him as he starts going even harder and faster. You’re rapidly getting closer to your orgasm.
“You close?” he pants and you nod. “Come on, cum all over my cock, Y/N.”
A few more thrusts and your walls tighten around his dick, squeezing him as you gasp, riding your high, your head falling backwards, meeting with the mirror behind you. Harry follows you a few pushes later, moaning your name repeatedly before his movements come to a halt and you both take a moment to catch your breath.
When he pulls out you both just quietly clean yourselves up, fixing your clothes and hair so you don’t entirely scream sex with your appearances.
“My offer to come to mine after still stands,” he smirks, running a hand through his hair before you head out.
“Tempting, but I have some work to do in the morning, so no,” you turn him down, stepping out to the dark hallway that leads back to the bar. Harry grabs your hand and pulls you back, his lips smashing against yours, surprising you with his move. He kisses you deeply, sucking on your bottom lip hard before he pulls back.
“What was that for?” you ask out of breath.
“If you’re not coming over, I needed something to have a good night,” he shrugs with a smug smirk before you return to the bar.
You catch the bartender’s look as you finally get your waters and Harry pays for them. You catch the two men eyeing each other for a moment before you and Harry return to the table and you forget about the whole thing.
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A Sunday afternoon you’re lounging at Harry’s. You jumped at each other’s bones when you arrived, but now you’re chilling on his couch, watching a series you both wanted to start so you decided to give it a go together. Your leg is lying across Harry’s lap, his hands absentmindedly kneading your thighs. It feels nice, like a massage, especially after how sore he made you earlier, stretching you out more than he usually does with a new pose you tried out.
Your phone chimes next to you and tearing your gaze away from the TV you check to see who just sent you a text. It was one of your coworkers, Anthony, he sent you a raging text about how he still has no idea what to wear to the company party that’s gonna be next Saturday and you realize that you totally forgot about it.
“Shit!” you curse under your breath.
“What?” Harry asks, pausing the show.
“I have this stupid work party next weekend and I totally forgot about it,” you growl, checking your calendar quickly if you can squeeze in a quick shopping spree before Saturday or you’ll have to find something in your closet.
“Aren’t those things nice with a lot of free food and drinks?” Harry wonders.
“Yeah, but I don’t like it, because all my colleagues bring their partners and I’m usually the only single one and they keep trying to set me up with someone,” you roll your eyes even at the thought of having to suffer through another one of those awkward conversations about your love life. Like it’s any of their concern!
“I can go with you if that helps,” he offers and you give him a look over your phone. “What? I’m sure if you brought someone they wouldn’t bug you.”
“But we are not together,” you remind him narrowing your eyes at him.
“They don’t have to know that. It’s a win-win, Y/N. Your colleagues would stop nagging you and I can eat and drink for free,” he smirks, clearly pleased with his little plan.
“I mean… you’re not wrong,” you sigh.
“See? Then it’s settled,” he pats your legs, smirking widely at you, but you’re still not entirely convinced. “Come on, Y/N. It’s gonna be fun!”
“This is so cliché, Harry!” you groan, your head falling back against the arm of the couch. “Pretending to be a couple? Straight out of a damn movie.”
Harry lifts your legs up so he can get out from under them, placing them back to the cushion before he climbs over to you, half of his body pressing onto yours as he squints his eyes at you.
“We can fuck in the bathroom, if you want,” he bluntly offers and you just start laughing at his dirty mind and technique of convincing you. “What? There’s literally no better offer out there. Free food, free drinks and free sex. Really good sex, if I may add,” he points out and you smack his chest lightly.
“Didn’t know you were thinking about charging me for the sex,” you joke.
“Might as well do, baby. Especially if it’s the best you can get,” he smugly huffs and you’d retort something funny, but you get caught up on the name.
“Baby? Since when are you calling me baby?”
“Since we are gonna be a couple next week. Gotta rehearse, baby,” he repeats the nickname and a foreign feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach. Why is this one little word making you feel things you haven’t before? “And you know what else we can rehearse?” he continues, oblivious to your inner dialogue.
You don’t get to answer upon feeling his hand slide between your legs, fingers gently pressing onto your clothed clit and though you can’t stop a moan from slipping through your lips, you still grab his wrist and pull him away.
“My legs are too sore, I wouldn’t enjoy another round of you pounding into me,” you tell him and you can see the proud glimmer in his eyes that he was the one who got you into this state, though he luckily doesn’t comment on it.
“It doesn’t have to be pounding, then,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses you, taking his time as his hand frees itself from your grip and slides under your shorts and panties, fingers meeting your already throbbing bud.
He repositions himself so one of his thighs are between your legs, his lips never leaving yours as his fingers start drawing circles on your clit, sending pleasure down your body in waves.
“Fuck,” you breathe out against his lips when two of his fingers tease your entrance before pushing all the way inside, curling them between your clenching, wet walls.
“No, we are not fucking right now,” he smirks, never missing a chance to joke around and you want to retort to his comment, but words get caught in your throat when his thumb starts playing with your clit, fingers sliding in and out of you in a steady rhythm.
“So, are we on for Saturday? It’s gonna be fun, hm?”
The little shit is using his fingers to convince you and he has the audacity to ask you questions when you are about to see stars. Sometimes you really do hate how big of a smug fucker Harry is, but it’s hard to feel hatred for him when he is about to make you cum again.
“I-I don’t… Harry!” you gasp when he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, right when you were so close. “I was about to fucking cum!” you growl, raging eyes meeting his green irises.
“I know,” he chuckles. “Say that you’re in and I’ll make you cum.”
“You motherfu—“
You don’t get to finish, his lips smashing against yours as his fingers return, moving faster than before, quickly pushing you towards the edge again.
“Say it. Say it, Y/N,” he mumbles against your lips as your chest is heaving and you start buckling your hips to meet his movements.
“Fuck… Okay! I’m in, just please make me cum!” you whine, hands gripping his shoulders like your life depends on it.
“Good girl,” he smirks and finishes you off without any more teasing.
You cry out his name, fingers digging into his muscles as you push your thighs together, trapping his hand between them while he keeps fingering you oh so perfectly. He makes sure you ride out the last waves of your orgasm before he pulls his fingers out and without batting an eye, he just licks them and fixes your panties and shorts before returning to his previous position with your legs across his lap, starting the show like nothing really happened.
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Saturday morning you’re able to quickly get your nails done and Leticia comes with you, the two of you having brunch together afterwards. You go to a new place near the nail salon and as the waiter arrives with your orders, you notice that he slides a napkin onto the table with a small smile.
Grabbing it you see a phone number scribbled onto it. Normally, you send back a smile and tug the napkin into your purse, but this time you just leave it on the table and decide to ignore it.
“What the hell is up with you?” Leticia asks and glancing up at her you see her gesturing towards the napkin. “You don’t seem too thrilled about the approach which is very unlike you.”
“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just… not interested,” you shrug, reaching for your fork.
“Not interested? The dude looks like the lovechild of Chris Hemsworth and Johnny Depp. He is exactly your type, what the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I’m just not seeking another hookup right now, that’s it.”
“Oh my God!” Leticia gasps and you give her a puzzled look.
“What?”
“You don’t want other men because of Harry!”
“What? That’s crazy,” you laugh, because she has clearly left her mind at the salon for even thinking that.
“Have you hooked up with anyone else than Harry since you’ve made your little deal?”
“I, uhh… Flirted with the bartender when we were out together.”
“Flirting doesn’t count, not even in relationships.”
“I don’t think many would agree with that, Tish,” you huff.
“Okay, but did you have any interest in fucking someone else?”
“I don’t get it why you are making a big deal out of it. Why would I seek anyone else if I’m perfectly pleased by him?”
“Honey, that’s like… how relationships work.”
“That’s not true,” you shake your head, though what would you know about relationships? Your first and only one was when you were seventeen and it lasted twenty-one pathetic days.
“Are you fucking with anyone else?” She asks, eyebrows raised at you as you shake your head no. “Are you fucking him?”
“Obviously,” you scoff.
“Do you spend time together that doesn’t include sex?”
You are almost quick to say no, but then you realize that would be a big ass lie. Every time he comes over to your place or you’re at his, it’s never just the sex. That’s always primary, but not everything you do. All the dinners, the movies and shows you’ve watched together, when you sit on your tiny balcony with a bottle of wine, talking and laughing like you always did before the deal, something always happens after the sex.
Your silence once again answers Leticia’s question. Reaching over the table she takes your hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze.
“Girl, you are totally dating Harry.”
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Leticia once again manages to put a flea in your ear about this whole Harry thing. You wish she didn’t say a thing, because now you can’t think of anything else than the fact that you really are doing all the things with Harry that people who are dating do.
You get so riled up that you almost cancel on the evening, but you’d hate to have to sit through the evening with your colleagues alone when you said you’d be bringing someone. That would make their usual nagging a hundred times worse. So instead, you suck it up and decide to ignore the issue just for the time being and you get ready.
You were able to find a new dress beforehand, the yellow dress is truly a sight to the sore eyes with the corset-like top and very subtle lace details here and there. It’s a little daring, but everyone goes all out for these parties usually and you definitely don’t want to be underdressed.
Harry texts you that he is in front of the building a little before seven, holding up the taxi he came with so you quickly grab everything you need and head out.
You’re the first one to see him through the glass entrance doors of your building, he is standing next to the car in a simple black suit and a soft yellow shirt underneath. It was actually your idea to match your outfits and he surely understood the assignment, especially seeing his also yellow nails.
Part of you is still hung up on what Leticia told you, but a bigger one is so excited to see him and also very into his look for the evening, that you push your doubts to the back of your mind and step out of the building with a shy smile on your lips as his eyes fall on you and you see his lips part.
“Wow! This dress is… wow!” he breathes out, his eyes raking your frame up and down shamelessly as you walk closer.
“Do you know any other words than wow?” you tease him, biting into your bottom lip.
“Yeah. How about: I would love to bend you over this taxi and take you here and now in this dress?”
Your face heats up immediately, slapping his arm, but then you leave your hand on his bicep and give it a squeeze as your answer: you’d definitely love that if it wasn’t kind of illegal to have sex out on a busy street.
The ignorance in you is so high that you don’t even mind how Harry keeps a hand on your thigh in the car, what’s more, you’re quite liking the warmth of his touch on you. His fingers are gently tapping against the music the driver is playing and he even hums a little along the songs.
“Hey, how is the album writing going?” you ask to break the silence a little.
“Great! They asked for fifteen songs until the end of August, so I have plenty of time, but I’m already done with six,” he beams, and you smile back at him proudly.
“That’s amazing. Can I hear any of them sometime?”
“I mean… if you buy the album?” he chuckles, making you roll your eyes at him. “I’ll see what I can do about that,” he then adds, giving your leg another squeeze before turning towards the window.
The party is just the same as it always is. A luxurious evening to celebrate the company’s success in the past six months, a way to give back to the employees and make them feel appreciated with all the free stuff. It’s nice, but you don’t feel like it’s necessary, people would be happier with a raise after all, than one night of free food and drinks.
Harry holds your hand as you walk in, the majority of the guests already present, music playing and there are several open buffet tables and bars in the gigantic ballroom that was decorated in a forest-like theme just for tonight.
“So you did not lie about bringing a date!” Anthony beams as soon as he sees you, his boyfriend, Pete following him right behind, both of them wearing matching burgundy suits.
“Have I lied to you about anything?” you chuckle awkwardly.
“Plenty of times,” he points out before turning towards Harry. “Hello handsome, I’m Anthony, Y/N’s favorite coworker, and this is my boyfriend, Pete.” They all shake hands, Harry smiling back at them warmly before his hand finds yours again, his fingers lacing together with yours in an instant.
“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Harry.”
“Oh my! The accent!” Anthony gushes, clearly already a fan of Harry’s. “I was really afraid Y/N just said that she is bringing someone so we would get out of her hair this time.”
“I feel offended,” you give him a look, but he just shrugs it off, even though he is more right than he knows.
“Come on, let’s get you guys a drink, we are all sitting over there!”
Joining all your coworkers at the table, you get a head start on the food and drinks, not shying away from stacking everything you like onto your plate. Talking, mixing and mingling, Harry stays right next to you, charming everyone the two of you meet, earning you some approving looks from your colleagues that usually try to set you up with someone they know. This time, you’re left in peace the moment they see Harry with you, his hand always somewhere on you, holding your hand, the small of your back, your hips or waist or, your personal favorite, the back of your neck under your hair. His presence is uplifting already, but his tiny touches just warm you even more on the inside.
“I have to say, Y/N, you are absolutely glowing!” Dianne, one of the editors compliment you when the two of you are at the bar waiting for your drinks to be refilled. Harry stayed back at the table, deep in conversation with Pete about guitars, from what you could understand from their conversation.
“Oh, thank you!” you chuckle softly.
“This man is for sure treating you well. It’s so great to see you finally finding your person.”
She meant well with her comment, but it’s what brings everything you kept hidden in the back of your head out to the front. Tonight was supposed to be all pretending, making everyone believe something that’s not even there, but then why do you feel like it’s real? Like you fooled yourself with everyone else as well?
Your eyes fall back to Harry at the table, who is intently listening to something Pete is telling him and as if he had a sixth sense, his eyes snap at you, a smile stretching across his pretty face at an instant that makes you stomach dance again, heart beating oddly fast.
What is happening to you? This cannot be real, you can’t be having feelings, especially not for Harry. No, you do not allow that for yourself, emotions are off limits for you, because if you fall for someone that gives them the chance to leave you and break you and you’ve seen what it does to a woman. You got enough of the suffering through your mother and you vowed not to let it happen to you. And not even Harry Styles will change that. This is about sex and nothing else, no feelings are involved and that will not change. You won’t let it.
Excusing yourself from Dianne you quickly go back to the table, the refills long forgotten as you take your seat next to Harry. His hand instantly finds your leg as he looks at you with a sweet smile at first that turns into slight confusion.
“Thought you went for a refill?”
“Forget the drinks,” you shake your head, leaning closer to his ear. “You promised me bathroom sex.”
You feel the shift in him right away, how he bites into his bottom lip, his bright green irises darkening at your words, his hold on your leg tightening. His gaze flickers to your eyes and you want to devour him, you want him to take you here and there to prove you that this is all it’s about: sex.
Clearing his throat he mumbles a lame excuse as he pulls you from your chair, tugging you towards the restrooms, you try to keep up with his pace in your heels, but you also can’t wait for him to slam you against the door and fuck you quick and hard.
As soon as you’re locked away from the party in one of the bathrooms, your lips collide with his as he pushes you up against the door, a leg coming between your thighs and you can’t stop yourself from grinding on him.
“Fuck,” he rasps out, hands cupping your jaw as he angles your head just right while your hands are already traveling down his body to reach his pants, eager to get them undone as fast as possible.
However the sudden rush and desperation catches Harry’s eyes and he grabs your hands, stopping you mid-action.
“Hey, everything alright?” he asks, out of breath, concern filling his eyes.
“I just need you to fuck me,” you bluntly reply, but he doesn’t move.
“Okay, but why do you look so shaken up? Did something happen?”
“Harry, stop babying me! I said I’m fine, I just want you to fuck me!” you snap, losing your patience. Not sure if it’s with him or with yourself though.
“You’re obviously not fine! You are snapping at me for being decent and making sure you’re okay!” Harry steps away from you, the moment completely ruined as all physical contact ends with him, his eyes staring back at you in disbelief and you feel like a ticking bomb that’s about to explode.
“It’s not your concern if I’m okay or not. We have a deal, just go with that and leave the rest to me!”
“But above the deal we are friends too. I’m not gonna just… fuck you senseless when you’re obviously upset about something. You’re not in the right mindset.”
“Oh my God, stop being so fucking nice! Stop making these grand gestures and stop pretending like you give a fuck!” You raise your voice and it surely surprises him, but he is still more concerned than angry at your outburst.
“What do you mean pretending? I do care about you! Is that a fucking crime now?!”
“It is because it is for the wrong reasons!” you retort, feeling your throat closing up at the same time. Oh God, you hope you won’t start crying, that will make it even worse. “I think you are taking this pretending a little too far tonight. We are not a couple, this is not real, Harry,” you remind him.
He stares back at you for what feels like eternity and you wish you could read his mind, because you can’t read anything from his eyes, he just stands there like a statue and you feel panic crawling up your spine, slowly digging its claws into your flesh.
And then he finally breaks his silence.
“And would it be so bad if it was real?”
You can’t help a sob that emits from you, feeling like your guts are in a tight grip by his words. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.
“No, take that back!” you whine.
“I’m not taking it back! Y/N, what we’ve been doing these past weeks is exactly what a relationship is like and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it until a label was put on it. It doesn’t have to change anything!”
“But it is! And you know I don’t do this!”
“Don’t do what? Feelings? You don’t get to choose that!” he chuckles bitterly.
“I do! I fucking do! And I chose not to have them so… this is ending here, because you clearly caught feelings,” you pant in desperate need of getting out of the bathroom, but when you are about to open the door Harry’s hand snaps against it, keeping it closed. You rest your forehead against the cool surface of it, feeling Harry stand so close to you behind, his chest is touching your back.
“Don’t just walk away, we are in the middle of a conversation,” he growls, his voice filled with anger and warning.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you whisper, shaking your head as you turn around and face him, your back pressing against the door.
“But I do,” he simply replies. “Why do you think you can just run away from feeling anything for the rest of your life? Why would it be so bad if you fell for someone, huh? I know you do have feelings, I know you well, Y/N. You’re not some cold hearted jerk, you are a caring and loving person, so why won’t you let yourself be happy?”
“I am happy the way I am, have you thought about that?”
“No, you’re not. I’ve known you half my life, I know that you want to be cared for, you want to be loved and cherished, yet you push away everyone who wants to give you that.”
“Because it’s not that easy, Harry!” you snap at him. “It’s never just the lovey-dovey shit! Feelings come with hurt and pain and heartbreaks and I don’t need that! I can’t handle that!”
“It’s not always the case! But if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never find the happiness you’re seeking!”
“Well, for me, it doesn’t worth it! I don’t want to fall for someone, plan my future with them and open up to them completely only for them to fall out of love with me one day and decide they don’t want anything to do with me! I don’t want to give anyone the chance to hurt me like that, because I’ve seen what it does to a person! I witnessed it all, Harry! I will not be a victim to that!”
You’re full on shouting, tears rolling down your cheeks at this point. You are letting everything out that’s been bottled up deep inside of you all this time. Nothing can make you believe in the fairytale that will never become your reality and you rather save the time and pain than experiment with it.
What really hurts is that now you are losing your friend. Your best friend. Because the way Harry is looking at you makes it obvious that you’ll never be like before the deal. The hurt, the shock, the panic and the anger, it all mixes in his wide-eyed gaze and it’s like a knife into your chest.
“You promised me, Harry,” you sob, voice now barely more than just a whisper. “You swore you wouldn’t catch feelings but you lied!”
“I didn’t lie,” he simply answers clenching his jaw. “I said I wouldn’t catch feelings for you, but truth is… I already had them. I was already in love with you, have been for a while. And you know what? I think you love me too, but you’re just too afraid to admit it. I know it because I can feel it. The way you touch me, look at me, the way you talk to me, it’s written all over you, but you choose to ignore it.”
“You don’t know shit,” you shake your head vigorously. “You think you know it, but you don’t.”
“Stop denying it, Y/N! You can’t just switch it off! Loving is not as horrendous as you think it is! Yes, it comes with pain too, but the good is always there to make you forget about it. You have to give it… you have to give yourself a chance!”
“I don’t have to do anything, Harry,” you sass back, pushing him away so you have the chance to sneak out of the room before he could stop you. But he doesn’t let it end that easily. Running after you he catches your wrist before you could get out of the hallway, pulling you back.
“Don’t just fucking walk away, Y/N! We need to talk about this!”
“No, we don’t. And I’m done with this. Done with… you.”
It hurts. The words rolling off of your tongue hurt, but you choose to ignore it once again as you shake his hand off of yourself, marching back to your table to grab your bag and leave.
“What do you mean you’re done with me? Don’t do this, Y/N! Let’s just fucking talk!”
Harry keeps trying to stop you, but you’re determined to leave. Your coworkers notice the little scene, but you don’t pay it any attention as you head out of the room, knowing well they’ll talk shit about you behind your back as soon as you’re out of the building.
“Y/N for fuck’s sake just stop already!” Harry snaps, grabbing your arm once again when you’re outside, pulling you back, but you’ve had enough.
“No! I’m not stopping, you need to stop! Stop trying to make yourself believe this is anything more than just the deal we made! It’s not and it will never be, because you don’t get to have the privilege of hurting me, nobody gets to do that!”
“Who said I want to hurt you?! That’s the last thing I would want to do! It’s not as cruel as you imagine it, Y/N. I know that your mum had a terrible love life when you were younger, but that’s not the only side to love! There are so much good about it, so much to fight for and endure with the bad sides, you can’t just throw all of it out the window because you decided love is just not for you!”
“I can and I will. Watch me!” you bite back, tearing your arm out of his hold as you step to the side of the pavement and wave a taxi down.
“Please don’t get into that car, Y/N, let’s talk!”
“We talked enough,” you huff as the car stops in front of you and you hop inside, but just as you are about to close the door Harry once again stops you.
“Y/N, I love you. Please don’t do this!” he begs, so much sorrow and pain radiating from his face and for a moment you fall weak. You almost reach out to him, because part of you hates seeing him like this, especially knowing that it’s because of you. You just want him to be happy, but you know it’s not gonna be with you. You can never give him what he wants and needs. He’ll be better off without you.
“I’m sorry,” you choke out before pulling the door closed and the car drives away. Turning around you see him stand on the pavement, completely broken and shaken, his hands tangling into his hair as he angrily kicks at the dirt before the car melts into the traffic and he falls out of your sight.
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You did it for your and Harry’s sake. It had to be done and you are both better off this way. At least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince you to believe.
But why does it hurt so badly then?
Harry tried you calling a million times after you left him at the party, he even came after you and banged on your door for thirty minutes straight, begging you to let him in and just talk, but you didn’t even answer him. Just waited until he left before you curled up in the shower and cried for about an hour.
The calls and texts kept coming in the next few days, but after a while he gave up. He got nothing but silence from your side and one last, long ass text that you didn’t even read because you knew you’d just start crying again, he finally gave up.
You were left alone with all the pain and emptiness and you realized how big part of your life Harry played before. Somehow, everything reminded you of him and you couldn’t do anything without wishing he was with you.
You truly believed that time will heal you, that soon you’ll realize that you made the right decision, but days turned into weeks and nothing changed, you just learned to live with the pain. You stopped going out with your friends and not just because you were afraid of seeing Harry, but because you genuinely couldn’t get yourself to leave the house. Your evenings consisted of binge eating all the ice-cream you could find in your freezer and watching reruns of your favorite shows, but nothing could really take your mind off of Harry.
Day after day you cancelled on Leticia as well until she had enough of your hermit life. She got fed up watching you sink into your pit of sorrow and decided to take things into her own hands and not let you run away from her.
A Friday evening you’re doing what you’ve been doing for weeks now, lying on your couch in sweatpants, scrolling through Netflix when there’s a knock on your door. You wait, hoping whoever it is will think you’re not home and go away, but another obnoxious knock rips through the apartment and you growl.
“I know you’re in there bitch, open the fucking door!” Leticia shouts from outside and you curse the day you became friends with her. Maybe you would have been better off as enemies.
“I’m busy!” you call out, but make your way to the front door anyway, opening it to reveal her.
“Yeah, I can see that. Busy with being a bag of trash,” she comments on your appearance, walking inside without an invitation.
“Jeez, you really did wake up today and chose violence,” you mutter under your breath as you shut the door closed.
Leticia is quick to turn the TV off and open up the windows as you just stand there, not sure what she is doing here.
“When did you clean this place? And when was the last time you took a shower?” she asks, her nose scrunching when she takes a better look at you.
“Okay, did you come here to offend me? Because I don’t need that so please leave.”
“No, I’m here to beat some sense into you.”
“Good luck with that,” you scoff, taking your spot on the couch once again. You reach for the remote with the intention of turning the TV back on, but Leticia stands in front of the screen, blocking the device completely as she stares down at you with a disapproving look, arms folded on her chest.
“You’re acting like a child, Y/N. Avoiding everyone and being mad at the whole world, are you an emo teenager now or what?”
“I’m not mad at the whole world!”
“Okay, then you’re mad at just Harry, still, it’s a mistake.”
“I’m not mad at only Harry either,” you admit truthfully.
“Who else then?”
“Myself?” you mumble, eyes falling closed as you slide lower down on the couch.
“That makes the two of us, but why are you mad at yourself?” she asks, finally moving from her spot in front of the TV as she sits next to you on the couch, crossing her legs as she waits for your answer.
“Because…” you start with a sigh, opening your eyes, but you avoid looking at her, instead, you stare at the wall across you. “Because I can’t fucking stop thinking about him,” you admit and your lips start trembling instantly, just like every time you think about him. “I miss him so fucking badly, Tish! I miss our conversations, I miss his stupid jokes, I miss him raiding my fucking fridge and I miss…”
You bite your tongue, not wanting to admit the next thoughts loudly. Because you miss kissing him, you miss holding him and be held by him. You miss sex too, but you miss the tiny things even more, the way his lips feel against yours, how he smiles against them when you whimper his name and you miss the awkward little things the most. When he accidentally bumps his head against yours or when say random shit right before he pushes into you just to make you laugh, or when he leans in for a kiss but misses it and ends up kissing your nose or just the corner of your mouth. You miss everything about him and you hate him for that, but you hate yourself even more. It feels like your own conscious has betrayed you.
Shutting your eyes closed you let the tears roll down your cheeks as Leticia scoots closer and wraps her arms around you, cooing soothingly at you.
“It’s alright. It’s totally normal, Y/N.”
“It is not! Not for me at least!” you protest pulling back, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands.
“Stop with the bullshit already!” she growls in annoyance. “You are not some kind of ice queen who is incapable of loving! You love me, right?”
“Yeah, but that’s different,” you roll your eyes.
“Not really. You love your other friends as well, right?” You nod. “And you love your mom,” she adds and you nod again. “Would you do anything for these people?”
“Of course.”
“Do you like spending time with them? Do you care about them in all kinds of ways?”
“Yes,” you sigh, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.
“Do you feel the same way about Harry? Do you care about him, would you do anything for him to make him happy?”
“Yes,” you whisper truthfully.
“Then don’t complicate it. You love him, no big deal! And he surely loves you back, because he told you, right?” You nod. “Then pull your head out of your ass and just let yourself be happy for once.”
“Why are you coming with this too? I was happy on my own too!”
“No, you were getting by,” she points it out. “You were doing good, but you weren’t… a whole. Harry gave you everything you missed, but for some fucked up reason you think it’s the end of the world to depend on someone else partially when it comes to your happiness. Which can be a smart thing, it’s important to be your own person and be independent, but sometimes we need some help from others. From people that love us and we love them back. It’s not a crime, Y/N.”
“No, but it’s gonna end up with me being heartbroken.”
“You already are,” she ruthlessly replies, bringing your attention to what you’ve been trying to ignore all this time. “Hate to break it to you, but this is what that feels like. So why not just go with it, you already felt the pain, now you could go for the good parts as well.”
“I don’t know if I can do it, Tish,” you breathe out, resting your head against the back of the couch. “Even if I did it, I know I would mess it up and hurt him or maybe he’ll do something stupid and hurt me and I don’t think I can handle that.”
“So what? It’s part of the deal. And besides, you’re already hurting each other, so you better get your shit together,” she scoffs, poking your side playfully.
It’s part of the deal. Are you ready to make a new deal? One that you’ve been avoiding your whole life? Are you ready to cut yourself open for someone else and just hope for the best?
Probably not. And probably you’ll never be. But your tactics didn’t succeed so far, you still ended up in pain so why not give it a chance? Even if it’s gonna be the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
“Do you think he hates me now?” you ask quietly, peeking at her scared of her answer.
“He is a bit mad at you for shutting him out, but he could never hate you. That man loves you so much, it’s almost disgusting,” she admits, making you chuckle. “Just… be honest with him and talk to him. You need it. You both need it.”
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Harry’s fingers strum against the chords again, trying to get the tune right, but he fails again, a frustrated growl leaving his lips as he lets his head fall forwards. He’s been trying to finish the song for hours, but it still hasn’t come together the way he imagined and his patience is running short.
It’s been hard for him to focus on writing, with you on his mind all the time, everything seems like a hard task. He has written plenty of songs since the night at the party, but he could never use them for his job. One, because they are so fucking sad and depressive and they asked for upbeat hits from him, and two, because they are all so personal, he could never give them to someone else. He can’t let anyone else sing the lines he wrote to you, but you’ll probably never hear them.
Giving up on finishing the song today, he puts the guitar aside and calls it a day. Walking into the kitchen he opens the fridge and realizes that it’s completely empty aside from a bottle of ketchup and a single banana. He’s been such a mess lately, he forgot to go grocery shopping yesterday. Huffing to himself he grabs the banana and reaches for his phone to order something right when his doorbell rings. He is not expecting anyone, but Mitch has been popping in every few days to check in on him since everything that went down with you, so Harry is convinced it’s him again.
“Great timing, do you want Italian or Chinese?” he asks, walking up to the door, but as he swings it open he freezes when he sees you standing on the doormat. “Y/N…” he breathes out as if he was seeing a ghost.
“Hi! I-I hope I’m not bothering you o-or anything…” you ramble nervously.
“No! No, come on in!” He snaps out of his trance and steps aside, letting you walk inside. A feeling of nostalgia hits you right away as you think back at the last time you were here. Just a few days before the party, when everything was different.
“I’m sorry I came without asking, I just… I would say I was nearby, but that’s not true,” you chuckle anxiously as the two of you walk into the living room. You notice that his place is a little messier than usually, but it’s not nearly as bad as yours was before you did a deep cleaning yesterday after Leticia’s comments on it.
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. What… What brought you here?”
“I, uhh… I’ve been thinking. A lot. And I have a few things I need to tell you.”
For a moment Harry’s stomach drops, because he thinks you came here to tell him off one more time for breaking your deal, for everything that happened at the party. He is already bracing himself to just let you lash out on him, but it never comes. And when you speak up again, he nearly faints.
“I love you.”
It’s a strong start, definitely a surprising one. Harry’s lips part and his eyes widen, his look almost comical, but you’re not laughing, not now. You have a lot to tell him and you can only hope he won’t throw you out after everything is said.
“I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to stop ignoring it, but I promise you I’m done with that. And I’m sorry for everything I said to you that night, I was… mad and confused and I didn’t know how to deal with everything at once. I was delusional and ignorant and… a fool for thinking that I could just choose to never have feelings, especially for you,” you add with a tiny, nervous chuckle. “You were right. About everything. That I can’t live without ever putting myself out there and risking it. And I think deep down I knew that, but I was so afraid of getting hurt that I made myself believe I’m good on my own, but I’m not. Not entirely, to be precise. Because sometimes it is worth risking it and… and I realized that you are the person for me who is worth this risk.”
The tears are already blurring your vision, for the millionth time these past weeks, but it feels right now. Opening up to Harry and telling him all of this is hard, but with every spoken word you feel lighter and more relieved.
“I’m sorry if I made you think that I don’t love you, because I do. I really do. You are my best friend and these past weeks have been hell for me without you. I was so keen on avoiding a heart break that I ended up breaking my own heart,” you chuckle bitterly, the first tear running down your cheek.
Harry reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb and you involuntarily melt into his touch. You’ve been starved for it and now it feels like home. When you look up and your eyes meet his, you see that they are red too and it just makes you want to cry even more.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought that I was doing the right thing, but I was so far from that. So I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t want to see me again for the way I acted. I was… a horrible friend and… an even worse girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah. Because you were right, we were more than just the deal and… if you choose not to throw me out after this, I would… I would love to give it a try with you. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve and though I’m sure I’ll mess it up a lot of times, I promise I’ll try my best, becau—“
He makes your rambling stop in the best way possible, lips smashing against yours as he cups your tear-soaked cheeks in his warm palms, pulling you close to him, your arms curling around his waist immediately.
Harry has kissed you several times before, but none of them compares to this. It’s messy and salty from both your tears, but you wouldn’t change a thing about it, the way his lips move against yours, tongues meeting, devouring each other, making up for the lost time and full of promises for the future. You hold onto his shirt at his back for dear life as he just keeps kissing you over and over again until you both run out of breath.
“So, does this mean you’re not throwing me out?” you joke, breaking the silence once you’ve pulled back.
“Fuck no,” he laughs, pecking your lips a few more times before his lips meet your forehead. “You are not leaving this place, ever. You’re trapped,” he adds to the joke and you break out in a relieved laughter.
“Wait, so I’m stuck with you now?” you whine playfully, but all you get is another kiss on the lips, hard and demanding.
“Yeah, forever, baby. You won’t get rid of me now, not after the speech you just gave me,” he smirks down at you, his arms coming to curl around your shoulders as he keeps you pressed against him tightly. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you reply, your heart soaring as you hear those words again from him, this time, not even trying to dodge them in any way. In fact, you just want to hear him say it every minute over and over again for the rest of your life. “And I’m happy to be stuck with you,” you add with a shy smile as his grin widens at your words.
“Yeah? So we have a new deal then?” he teases, kissing the corner of your mouth.
“Absolutely.”
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gingersnaaps · 3 years
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too much of a good thing
he's so sweet, so kind, so dumb - is bokuto really capable of anything besides the best intentions?
wc: ~2.7k
tags/tw's(PLEASE READ): explicit n*fw, dubcon sex to noncon creampie, manipulation, lovebombing and then neglect, overstimulation, cunnilingus, fingering, penetration, a lil angst, timeskip!bokuto, fem!reader with inner genitals
i don’t want minors interacting with my content
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Being subtle was never really Bokuto’s thing, not even in the beginning.
In some ways, you suppose that you’re lucky - that you’re better off than your friends who you would always hear complaining, muttering about boys who didn't like to commit, didn’t like labels, who didn’t like texting first or buying gifts or putting in any effort at all.
Barely a week into your relationship, you come home from work with your head dizzy and feet aching from exhaustion, and discover a dozen bouquets of roses on your doorstep. Crimson petals are littered everywhere, strewn against the grey concrete of the steps, and although you feel your neck and face heating up with embarrassment at the grand gesture, you can’t suppress the smile that tugs at the corner of your lips.
He really was so sweet. Who cares if he wasn’t exactly shy about expressing it?
None of the other guys you’ve dated before had sent you good morning texts quite like his, filled with exclamation points and emojis, and none of them had tried nearly as hard as Bokuto does with his breathy, eager i love you’s, his frequent hugs whenever he gets the chance to see you, or even his phone calls that come twice, three times, even four times in the middle of the day.
But the more days that pass by, the more intense it gets.
He picks you up after work all the time, cupping your face in his hands, eyes gleaming almost unnaturally bright. “I love you,” he’ll whisper. “You’re so wonderful, baby. You’re perfect. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.”
You can’t help but think that these are the sort of words that come months into a relationship, if not years, but… there’s nothing really wrong with what he’s doing, is there? There’s no reason you should be uneasy, no indication of even the slightest hint of trouble on his part.
You’re probably just paranoid.
Bokuto doesn’t stop at words, though - he earns a good sum of money from his job playing professional volleyball, and he’s never hesitant to use it on you. A week after he leaves you the roses, he asks you out on a date to a restaurant you know is ridiculously expensive, and the uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach grows as you scroll through pictures of the establishment on Google Images.
“I don’t think I can afford it, Bo,” you tell him, voice hesitant and crackly over the phone. “If we go, I won’t be able to pay my share.”
“So?”
It’s just a word, but the implication isn’t lost on you. And if he’s fine with paying for you, if he’s okay with the hundreds of dollars you’ll be owing him, well - there’s no good reason to turn him down, right?
During the date, you talk with him as you spoon bites of delicate food into your mouth. The restaurant is too lavish, the plush velvet carpeting and crystal chandeliers almost a parody of luxury. You’re pretty sure the utensils are half the price of your rent.
He leans over in the middle of the meal, expression suddenly serious. “You’re enjoying this, right?” he asks.
“I am. I’m kinda lucky, aren’t I? Being spoiled like this.”
“Yeah,” he replies, his grin so bright it could rival the sun. “You really are.”
And suddenly - just for a moment - you catch a glimpse of something slightly off about his whole expression, as if it was a mask waiting to be ripped off to reveal something much, much different underneath, but the fleeting moment is gone so quickly you convince yourself that it’s just your eyes playing tricks on you.
Bokuto has been nothing if not perfect, after all. If you’re uneasy, it’s probably just because you aren’t used to being treated like this, aren’t used to someone that lavishes you with constant gifts and praise and displays of affection like he does. On the way back in the taxi, he whispers everything he loves about you softly in your ear, his arm snaking around your waist as his thumb rubs tender circles into your skin. His body is pressed so close to yours, his breath gently tickling your ear, warmth radiating out from his firm, muscled body.
He’s so good to you.
-
It doesn’t last forever.
Bokuto’s affection dries up slowly, but his presence has been such a constant in your life that it’s impossible for you not to notice.
Some mornings, you find yourself waking up to a hollow feeling in your chest as you check your message notifications and find nothing - no late night rants, no funny pictures, no enthusiastic, joyful good morning texts. During the day, the silence now stretches on for hours too long, uncomfortably empty and devoid of the persistent calls that you used to get every single hour.
When he does see you, he’s remarkably reserved - eyes always downcast, fingers fidgeting incessantly, clearly disinterested in what you’re doing, what you’re saying - in fact, disinterested in all of you.
Maybe he’s just busy with volleyball, you rationalize, but your stomach churns with anxiety and deep down, you know that something’s changed.
You try and ignore the dull ache inside of you that seems to follow you around wherever you go, a little voice inside your head constantly reminding you of what Bokuto used to do. Two months ago, he would’ve picked you up. He would’ve sent you flowers today. He would’ve taken you out to eat.
It builds up slowly and steadily, a crescendo of pain that grows in volume the longer he’s gone, like a tidal wave of confusion and hurt that swirls around inside you - until one day, you’re sitting by yourself in the car, sobbing quietly in the cramped darkness.
At least he doesn’t turn you away when you show up on his doorstep.
Your eyes are rimmed with red, streaks of eye makeup running down your face as a frown twists at his features. “Please, Bo,” you whisper. “Let me make it up to you.”
And you’re not exactly sure what you did, but you want to fix it, want him back in your life, want to wake up to his smiles and his laughter and his incessant, boundless energy, and you know you’re willing to do anything to get that back.
“Really?” he asks, eyes glimmering faintly with hope.
You nod almost imperceptibly, about to reply yes, yes, want you back so bad, when he grabs your waist with his hands and pulls you in for a kiss so passionate it borders on harsh. It’s a whirlwind of teeth and tongue, a mix of sucking and licking and biting that leaves you gasping for breath, your red lips swollen and slick with spit.
He pulls you inside, his hands roaming all over your body, groping and squeezing at your supple flesh, goosebumps running down your spine as he brings a hand up to brush against your nipple. For the first time in weeks, you see excitement on his face, and his voice trembles as he leans close in. “Let me take care of you,” he says. “Wanna make you feel good.”
And even though there’s apprehension crawling under your skin at his sudden mood swing, you’re so, so glad this version of Bokuto is back that you brush off that hesitation, the mixture of happiness and anticipation overwhelming every single thought in your mind.
As his fingertips graze the soft skin of your torso, his hands - so much larger than yours - maneuver your body around with such ease and grace that you barely notice when you end up on his couch, legs spread wide open as he looks up from between your thighs hungrily. “I - fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he says, out of breath, eyes running over the swollen outline of your cunt.
You whimper softly as his nose brushes up against your clit, his piercing, golden eyes still gazing intently up at you.
He doesn’t waste any of his time teasing you, his flat of his tongue sliding up along your slit with the perfect amount of pressure to leave you squirming. It’s almost as if he knows exactly where to lick and suck, eagerly pressing his tongue up against your clit in insistent circles, lapping at your dripping pussy until your juices are running down his chin. He’s so eager in between your legs, and everytime he finds a spot that makes your legs tremble needily, he gives it so much attention that you already start to feel that wave of pleasure building in your core.
“Don’t stop,” you pant, your hands sliding into his hair as your hips thrust upwards. “Please.”
Bokuto doesn’t need you to tell him that. Shouldn’t have wasted your breath, he thinks idly, diving in and eating you out with renewed vigor.
When his tongue glides around your spasming cunt and dips in briefly, you can’t stop the moan that tumbles from your lips. His tongue is so stupidly long and flexible, sliding inside and licking at your sensitive walls, curling up and brushing against your g-spot until you start to shudder and tremble under him.
You cum embarrassingly quick, your hips jerking and stuttering wildly as he finishes you off. He fucks you through your orgasm, sucking gently at your clit until the border between pain and pleasure starts to blur and you’re moaning so loudly he thinks the neighbors will have complaints for him the next morning.
“Feel good, baby?” he asks, voice sending vibrations through your pussy.
“Yeah,” you mumble.
“How about another?”
Your eyes widen. “W-what?”
“I think you can handle it, right?” a huge grin splits his face as he spreads your pussy apart with two fingers, looking at your swollen, spent cunt. He barely gives your chance to respond before he trails his fingers against your lips, fingers teasing in and out of your slick entrance.
This time, Bokuto uses his hands to stretch you out, inserting his digits one by one until three of his thick, long fingers are nestled inside of your pussy. He thrusts them languidly in and out, his fingertips caressing your nerves until you’re tense and wound up for him again.
“Come on,” he encourages. “You can take it.”
Your brain is hazy from the stimulation, barely registering anything but pleasure as his fingers search and probe like they have some sort of job to do. You feel damp with heat and moisture, the pulsing, burning need in between your legs insistent and demanding.
“Almost there,” he breathes, voice raspy with arousal. A fourth finger brushes up against your lips, and the thought of more stretch, more stimulation, more pleasure, has you clenching desperately against the ones that your cunt is already spread out on.
You sob, your body strung out and wrecked, suspended on the tipping point of another orgasm.
As you cum again, the feeling of relief - white-hot and blinding - rips along your core. You’re not sure you’ve experienced anything quite so intense before, and as you look down at him, hands still manipulating your cunt so expertly, you don’t know if he has the intention of stopping anytime soon.
He stands up and your eyes drift to his cock, flushed purple and almost painfully hard, dripping with precum. His hand strokes along his shaft, soft curses muttered under his breath, but he opens them wide again and looks down at you sadly. “I’m so sorry,” he says, voice pleading. “I don’t have any condoms.”
Bokuto sounds so genuine, his tone kind and filled with regret, and guilt begins to sting at your conscience. He’s made you feel so fucking good, given you the best orgasms of your life - is it really fair if you leave him wanting and unsatisfied?
You’re fucked halfway out of your mind when you answer, eyes still fixated on his cock, head swimming with thoughts of how much you want to please him.
“It’s fine,” you say, your words slurred and hesitant. “You can.. you can use me. Use my pussy to get you off. Jus’ pull out at the end.”
Ecstasy flashes across his face, and he looks down eagerly. “Fuck, babe. You’re so perfect. I love you.”
You hadn’t heard those words for weeks.
His strong arms pick you up easily, maneuvering you around until he’s the one sitting on the couch and your cunt is positioned right over his dick. His hands grip tightly at your waist, fingertips pressing so insistently that you’re sure you’ll wake up the next morning with bruises dotting your skin. He lowers you down slowly, carefully, groaning as he fills you up and the warmth of your cunt envelopes him whole.
He already looked big, just from the cursory glance you’d taken earlier, but as you feel the tip of his cock shove against your cervix, your breath almost catches at how you feel your walls expanding to accommodate all of him.
The drag of his curved cock up against your sensitive walls leaves your legs trembling and squirming, but he holds you firmly down as he thrusts up inside over and over. “Stay still,” he coos. “Let me take care of you.”
Bokuto starts off gently, fucking you with shallow little thrusts that have you panting with desperation. He can tell by the way your cunt is fluttering that you're craving more, that the two orgasms he gave you earlier just wasn’t enough for a greedy girl like you, and he relishes the way your small hands grip desperately at his shirt.
He raises you up off his cock, running the tip up and down your slit until your pussy throbs, and slams you back down again. The rhythm he maintains is steady and even, bouncing you up and down on his cock like a ragdoll, whispering stuttered curses and phrases of endearment against your ear, making you shiver from the overload of stimuli.
“Feels so amazing,” he moans. “Gonna.. Gonna cum soon.”
The heat in your core grows intense at the thought of his orgasm, involuntarily whining, and you start to rock your hips back and forth in an attempt to search out more friction.
Bokuto knows he promised to pull out. He knows that it wouldn’t be right if he stayed buried inside your cunt. But how is he supposed to stop himself when you feel this good, wrapped so obediently around him like a perfect little fuck doll? And the heat of your cunt is gripping incredibly tight all around his length, your little squirms and shivers so adorable as he uses you to get himself off.
He can’t help himself.
With one last, desperate thrust, he lets go, thick spurts of cum filling you up until he’s sure your insides are dripping white, and he caresses your stomach where your womb would be in satisfaction. It feels so good to cum inside of a tight cunt, much better than it would’ve if he’d forced himself to pull out, he thinks. And you look so pretty all full and leaking with his seed.
It takes you a moment to fully register the warm, wet feeling pooling inside you, your brain too fucked out, too stupid from the constant stimulation to truly understand what exactly dripping from your slit is.
When you do realize - oh god, he came inside me - panic starts to grip at the edges of your frayed nerves, your vision tunneling as the magnitude of what had just happened hits you. Tears start to blur the world around you, the dim lighting of his living room merging the furniture and warping the walls, and you faintly register the feeling of arms wrapped tight around you, a hand reaching up to caress soothingly at your cheek.
“You know,” Bokuto whispers, face lit up in wonder. “I think we’re soulmates.”
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szallejhscorner · 2 years
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The Million Dollar Fiancé
You aren’t actually eager to meet all those people from school again. Life hadn’t been the best in those early years, and the other students hadn’t been either.
But everyone is going, and you will have to listen to complaints for months if you’re the only one missing. If only Chishiya could go there with you... Although you know that he’ll have a very important meeting with a possible sponsor for the hospital tonight, and there’s no way he can postpone that. You have to face some bullies from your childhood years; Chishiya deals with the prospect of a million dollar donation. Hard to compare one with another.
“I really don’t want to go”, you mutter while doing your hair. You won’t be wearing a glittering thousand-dollar-dress tonight, but you want to look acceptable. If everyone’s going to treat you like trash, you at least want to feel beautiful.
Chishiya hums next to you, straightening the tie of his suit. He looks absolutely stunning. Fabulous. Those clothes are more expensive than three months of your rent, but unlike you, he needs to appear flawless tonight. Seeing him wearing such noble fabrics is unfamiliar, however you could really get used to that.
He turns to you, allowing you to expect him from head to toe. “Me neither. But it’s just a couple of hours; we both should be able to manage that.”
You step forward, already spreading your arms out to pull him into a hug because that’s what you’re used to, although you change your mind in the last second. The least thing you want is to ruin his appearance, so you give him a quick kiss instead. “You’ll do great. I know that.”
With a nod, he opens the door for you to leave first. His taxi is already waiting at the street, and the classmate who offered to take you with them will be here soon as well. Chishiya waves you goodbye while getting into the taxi, and you watch how he disappears in the distance. You would have given everything to swap places with him. How hard can it be to convince one single sponsor instead of facing a whole hall filled with bullies?
The only advantage you have is the alcohol. As soon as you step into the crowded hall, tinny music echoing through it while a bad DJ is trying to look confident, you notice the wide choice of alcoholic drinks. All the cheap, gross-tasting stuff, but it’s alcohol. You only need to manage to drink enough of it and the whole evening will turn out much better.
It is bad, but not as bad as you expected. Most of the people have changed since the last time you’ve seen them, have married, have become parents. Another old friend of yours tells you how he was forced to live on the streets for a couple of weeks, but now he has a well-paid job and started to date his old childhood crush. Most of the biggest bullies have turned into normal people as well, greeting you friendly and asking you about your job, your life, whatever comes into their mind. Some have become bankers, some veterinarians, one is a pilot. Talking to them is actually intersting, as long as you avoid the beauty queens that are still trying to look perfect.
Unlike most, those women have become worse. Instead of tons of makeup and only a hint of clothes on their body, they have spent all their money to refine their shape with silicone. Which might look good on breasts and booties, but those lips... they simply look disgusting.
And the worst of them all, Sakae, is walking right towards you, shaking her fake body, pursing her fake lips and sipping on her vodka as if it was the most expensive drink instead of the swill from the next gas station.
“Ohh! Look at this; I barely recognized you. You’ve lost weight, right? Last time I saw you, you were at least twice as wide.”
Giving her nothing but a snort, you want to turn around and simply walk away. But one of her plastic friends is approaching from the other side, encircling you as if they want to keep you in place. For what, an interrogation about whose life is better? To convince you to spend as much money as they did just so everyone from the other end of the city can see you’re fake?
“Yeah, guess I managed to stay fit.” Sakae is completely overexaggerating, so why shouldn’t you? “And last time I saw you, you were actually beautiful. Whatever accident happened to you... I’m sorry.”
You’re sure Sakae is frowning at you, only that it barely shows underneath all the silicone. She utters a high-pitched sound of dispproval and drinks from her vodka. You know it tastes terrible - it has been one of the first things for you to try out tonight.
“Still envious that you never were part of the famous ones, eh?”
Fiddling around with the ring on your fingers, you imagine several options how to escape this conversation. Run away and make a fool out of yourself, pretend to stumble and throw all the vodka at Sakae’s outfit... “I’m fine with my current situation, thank you.”
None of the women around you notice the ring. You have not been engaged to Chishiya that long, but touching the delicate material still makes you comfortable. It has been a very simple proposal, without too much romance or effort, just like Chishiya would do it. You wouldn’t complain - it means that you two will marry, after all.
Sakae snorts, a sound too blatant for her fine appearance. “Hard to believe that. What exactly are you doing currently? Not really well-paid, isn’t it.”
You shrug. It makes fun and money is not an issue, and you don’t need to be rich. All you want is to be happy. It’s useless to search for an answer, because Sakae doesn’t let you speak anyway.
“You know, I am married to the CEO of...” It takes a mere second for you to block out her annoying voice. Not only are you not interested in her rich, much much older husband that will die soon and leave her with all the money, or in the make-up artist who takes care of her who also takes care of popular actors and singers, or that she has been offered a contract for a popular modelling company. And the least thing you want to hear is how miniscule your life is and that you will never achieve something great. Unlike Sakae, of course.
Instead, you simply turn around and walk away, leaving her with an open mouth and lack of words. The DJ does sound better once you empty a whole plastic cup of alcohol at once, and not everyone inside the hall is such a bitch to talk to. But you already want to go home, and you lean against the wall and reach for your phone to get a break from all of this.
>>How’s the meeting?
It’s a millionare. I expected him to be terrible.<<
>>So bad?
Much worse. At least he’s willing to donate. But several people are close to punching him into the face when he dares to speak again tonight.<<
>>Same here. Reuion’s mostly okay, except a couple of... well. Bitches.
Sounds bad.<<
>>It is. It is.
You send a puking smiley afterwards, and Chishiya sees it, but then he goes offline. Probably because he has to continue the meeting, and you put the phone away with a sigh.
The plan has been to endure this until midnight. Two more hours and you’ll be free until the next reunion in five or ten years. Just two hours in which you have to avoid talking to Sakae and her brainless followers, which works out fine as long as you stick to those who have been the nerds back in school days. They’re still nerds, but they’re cool. At least they’re kind and funny and don’t try to talk themselves better than you.
Another thirty minutes pass with nothing too special happening when you notice a bit of turmoil in front of the entrance. It seems that someone has gotten here a bit late, and you hear snippets of conversations around you, saying that they saw the newcomer on TV just a few weeks ago, that they read an article about him in the newspaper. Sakae’s super-rich and famous grandpa-husband maybe, and while the thought is somehow disgusting, you’re too curious to stay away from the fun.
Whoever it is, Sakae is completely enthralled by the guest as well, which makes you almost certain that it’s not her husband. She already made it obvious that she has married for money, not for love. And the way in which she sticks out her breasts and tries to look sexy is nothing but laughable.
“...that famous surgeon, right? One of the youngest leading surgeons in all of Japan?” Sakae’s voice is like sugar, and her words make you wonder why a surgeon should make their way here. Thanks to Chishiya, you have made contact to some of the greatest doctors in this country already, and none of them are married or engaged to someone who has been in your grade.
But Sakae doesn’t stop flirting while you try to squeeze through the people to finally catch sight of the newcomer. “I heard that doctors are always searching for a good-looking adventure...”
Listening to her almost makes you puke, however your heart skips a beat when you finally glimpse sight of who has just arrived here. It’s not just any famous doctor. It’s your doctor. Chishiya.
“Shuntarou?!” Lacking more words, you are barely able to hide the bright smile appearing on your face. Seeing him is very unexpected, but more than welcome.
You wrap your arms around him and kiss him, ignoring the stares of the people around you. “But... the meeting-”
“Is over.” He shrugs with a smirk, putting his arm around your shoulder. “And I didn’t have enough nasty people around already today, so I could as well just come here.”
His sarcasm makes you chuckle, and his appearance is enough to make the evening a thousand times better.
Sakae however doesn’t seem to have such a good time. Her face a grimace of shock, she barely manages to keep her mouth closed, staring at you, then to Chishiya and back again. “What the-?”
Not only is she impressed by your fiancé himself, who has managed to gain quite some popularity already, but the suit he’s wearing is making it even better. It makes him look as if he’s wearing such clothes day and night, and that’s more than perfect. A well-dressed man who has just secured a million-dollar donation for his hospital and impressed a whole hall of former students on top of that.
The smirk doesn’t leave, and you notice the condescending look in his eyes that makes him appear so cold and unnearable while he turns to Sakae. “I’m sorry to disappoint, but you’re not at all what I’d call a good-looking adventure. Besides,-” he lifts your hand in a way that makes the engagement ring visible to everyone, “-I wouldn’t want to upset my fiancée.”
Sakae seems as if she wants to shrink into the ground since everyone in the hall has heard Chishiya’s voice, and you know it shouldn’t feel good. But it does, and you enjoy every second of it.
People gather around you to congratulate to your engagement, and lots of questions and interested conversations follow. Time flows by much faster than before, and it’s long past midnight when you’re still holding the hand of your future-husband, impressing other people by simply being himself while adding just a tiny bit of arrogance and mystery to his appearance. And once more Chishiya proves that he’s better than any millionaire, because he’s yours. Which he will stay forever.
184 notes · View notes
linqs · 3 years
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200+ Instagram bio ideas to copy and paste
The best Instagram bio can help you improve your Instagram account. Whether your goal is to increase your followers or make more sales, you can add calls to action to your bio to get people to take action while you are on your profile. But don't overlook the opportunity to talk more about yourself.
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244 notes · View notes
filterjeons · 3 years
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baby baby | kth
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✦ pairing: kim taehyung x reader
✦ summary: you’re practically taehyung’s favorite girl. even though you are just his sugar baby, he loves you more than any one of his before. unfortunately, you started to turn into the complete opposite of the girl you were before but luckily for him, he knows how to put you back in your place
✦ rating: M, not suitable for minors
✦ genre: smut
✦ word count: 5.7k
✦ warnings: dom!taehyung, sub!reader, sugar daddy/dilf!taehyung, degradation, dumbification, anal play, oral (f receiving), fingering, rough and unprotected sex, overstimulation, creampie, aftercare
Tumblr media
Taehyung sighed to himself as he “patiently” waited for you to finish looking through the abundance of clothes that are hung on the racks of the clothing store you two were in. What’s worse is that you probably already have those exact dresses, blouses or skirts but they’re just in a different color. Yet, your irresistible puppy eyes convinced him to drive you to the mall and spend a good amount on you. 
When he decided to become your sugar daddy, he should’ve expected to create such a monster because every month he spends at least $5,000 on different sorts of clothes, shoes, makeup, or miscellaneous items. It wasn’t like it was a financial problem for him but because you were his absolute favorite, he was prone to giving you anything that you ever wanted. Now that he thinks about it, you were the most spoiled out of all of his previous sugar babies. You recently asked him to order a bunch of packages and now here you are, going to spend even more money on more clothes that are only going to go in your closet.
Despite all of that, he really loved you and wanted to make sure you were happy. The first time you two met was in a convenience store on a rainy day where you used to work part time. Back then, you were tired all of the time because not only were you working as soon as school ended but you also had to study like crazy once your shift was over. Even after you took on his offer of being his sugar baby, you still worked hard to maintain your scholarship and pay for your best friend Lisa’s rent. Plus, you always spent time with him whenever you had a free day which wasn’t required but it made him happy. 
None of his past sugar babies were that caring, they just only wanted him for the money and genuinely didn’t care about him. He didn’t require them to keep him company or be in a relationship, hell he even was aware of the relationships they had with other people. He didn’t expect you to date him either because of the age gap between the two of you shared. He was 29 and you were only 19, in your second year of college. But you decided to be his girlfriend because you really liked him regardless of the money and because of that, he always had a special place in his heart for you. 
What’s the point of buying all these clothes when he’s just going to rip them off of you?, he thought as he watched you shift through the neat piles of skirts. Another reason why he has a favoritism towards you was that you were just the best with him in bed. Some days you’ll be obedient and he’ll be caring with you but on other days, you’ll put on a bratty front and he’ll simply fuck it out of you with extra care at the end. He assumes that today will be the latter because of your spoiled attitude right now.
“Y/N honey, I don’t think you’re going to buy anything here so let’s go home now-” Taehyung said, walking over towards you but you brushed him off.
“Just wait for 5 minutes. I wanna see if this’ll look good on me,” you protested.
“It’ll always look good on you. Besides, don’t you have that same dress but in pink?” “I want the black one now, it’s for a party I’m going later on.” 
“A party? How come you didn’t let me know before?” You were absolutely perfect in Taehyung’s eyes but a thing that he wasn’t really fond of was him knowing of your plans last-minute. Most of the time it was an accident because you tend to forget things easily but for some reason, it sounded like you didn’t want to tell him earlier. 
“Because it’s none of your business. Ugh, there’s nothing good here so I guess I’m going to get this one. Daddy, can I have your credit card?” you grumbled, putting back the pile of clothes that were laying on your arm while the other was texting your friend Lisa. 
“Your business is mine because I also have to keep you safe from anything bad that could happen to you. Where is the party?” “At the club of course! Come on Taehyung, who wouldn’t have a party at a club?” “It’s with Lisa, right?” “Why do you care so much, you’ve met her before! She’s literally my best friend and of course I have to go. Just give me your credit card al-”
“Put the dress down. I’m not buying you anything today because of the attitude you just showed me,” he said darkly, trying to get you to listen to him.
“Why not? What did I do wrong?” 
“I think I already spent too much on you because now you’re acting like a spoiled little girl,” he growled softly above your ear, his aura overtaking you and making your heart race. 
“But...but, I want this one!” you whined, giving him your best pout and stomping your feet like a little toddler. Taehyung laughed at your childish behavior but his decision still remained firm. 
“Please Daddy? Please, please, please!”
“No means no. There’s nothing you can do to change my mind.” 
“It’s not even that expensive!”
“Y/N, the money isn’t the problem for me. It’s the way you’re speaking to me.”
“Daddy, you said that you’ll buy me anything right? You love me right? Do you not love me anymore? Am I not your favorite?” you pulled the last-attempt lines that typically got Taehyung to do whatever you want. You knew in your heart that he’ll only love you and he blatantly shows his favoritism for you but those words always got him to give in and buy the item.
Taehyung’s expression shifted from softening his stance and debating to giving in before deciding to not settle down to you. It was so close before he surrendered and spent even more money on you. He already loved you since you were his only sugar baby right now and he’s sure you know it too but this time, he’s not going to lose to your charms.
“I’ve already bought you so much stuff, is that not enough for my bratty little baby?” he asked coldly, pulling a card that you’ve never heard before. He’s never called you a brat outright but the degrading name made your stomach turn and a whimper come out of your mouth. “Does she want more?” 
“I-I-” “Are you a little brat who likes to be spoiled with Daddy’s money?” 
You felt cool sweat dripping down your forehead as you tried to think of a comeback that could match him but most of your previous ones won’t work on him. All you could think of is…
“Yes I am, Daddy.”  That nearly sent Taehyung to the edge as he made you put back the dress, grabbed your hand, and walked you out of the mall and into his limo which still amazes you to this day. The chauffeur didn’t even need to interact with you two as he pulled up the golden partition, giving you alone time with him. 
“You used to be such a good little girl but now your behavior has gotten worse. It’s such a shame that I have to punish you on the night before your best friend’s party. I would’ve let you go if you told me before but I don’t think that’s an option, especially for what I’m about to do to you when we get home. Besides, we haven’t had sex together in a while now; wouldn’t you have much more fun playing with me than going to a normal party?” he whispered darkly, his hand slowly creeping up your thigh as your face started to blush. 
Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that you were the same girl a couple of months ago when he first met you. He remembered the first time he took you to a high-end clothing store, the look on your face when you read the price tag and the way you puffed up in anger when he swiped his credit card on an expensive dress that’ll absolutely look stunning on you. 
Now after getting used to buying more items, you took a full 180 on your personality which led you to be the girl you were now. But even though you showed a bratty and whiny facade, he still knew you kept your hard-working and kind heart because it was a part of you that never went away. Alongside your submission to him. 
“Daddy, I’m sorry,” you whimpered, his fingers lightly grazing the front of your pussy and feeling the embarrassing wet patch on your panties from your arousal.
“Are you enjoying this? Did you want this all along? Are you acting up like a bad girl because you want me to dom you?” he chuckled, his warm mouth leaving hickeys along the side of your neck and pushing his fingers past your underwear and into your core.
“I...I…” you were breathless, already squirming from his touch and worrying that the chauffeur could hear you. Although there were times when the both of you had no shame in his car, for some reason it was humiliating for him to hear you wrecked like this. 
“Huh, are you worried that he might hear you? Do you want him to hear you fucked out against my fingers like a little slut?” 
“Oh, uh…” you let out a quiet whimper as you try to cover your noises with your sweater sleeve. Taehyung smirked at how weak you looked as he started to pump his digits in and out of you, the action making squelching noises and the palm of his hand rubbing against your clit. You were absolutely dripping onto his fingers and your panties as muffled sounds were slipping out of your lips. 
“Naughty girl,” he tsked as the limo came to a halt in presumably the front of his mansion and he pulled his hand out of your core, licking the excess liquids. You whined at the dirty action and the loss of contact as the chauffeur turned off the engine and exited the driver’s seat to open your door.
“Thank you so much Michael,” Taehyung smiled as the door opened for the both of you to get out. He was acting like he didn’t make you hot and bothered earlier ago while you already looked flustered and out of breath. You knew that he’s absolutely going to snap once the two of you are behind closed doors but you weren’t worried at all. Rather, you were proud of yourself for bringing him to that point because you really enjoyed getting punished by him.
“Strip off your clothes baby girl. Don’t make me repeat myself,” Taehyung says darkly once you get inside his master bedroom. You gaped at him, suddenly feeling shy about yourself. 
“Wh-what?” “You should’ve got it the first time. Take off your clothes, missy.”
Even though you were in trouble with him, you still didn’t want to back down to him completely yet so you decided to give him an eye roll and a dramatic groan. 
“It’s no use being a brat to me now, rather it’ll just make your punishment worse. I’m saying this for the final time Y/N, strip. Now,” he snarled, his darkened eyes burning daggers into you as he eyed you expectantly. 
At this point, there was no use in arguing with him so you huffed and gave in to his demand. You pulled off your sweater and bra, leaving you in just your skirt, thigh-highs, and panties. 
“Take off your panties, I just want to see you in your skirt and stockings,” Taehyung demanded, waiting for you to finish. You were surprised he didn’t want you to take off all your clothes but he always loved seeing you in a skirt due to your tendency to wear them often. You slipped off your undies and tossed them in the side, leaving you in the thigh-highs and the skirt that barely left any room to hide yourself. 
“Fuck,” he hissed, his bulging hard dick sticking out against his jeans as he manhandled you onto the edge of his bed, the curve of your ass sticking out. You could feel him grind onto you roughly, making you crave more of him. “You’re such a bad little girl, I’m not going to go easy on you.” “Well, bring it on,” you jeered, facing him and trying to rile him up even more. Your statement lit a fire in him because he pushed you down on the bed and immediately attached his lip onto yours in a hungry kiss. You tried to kiss back but his pace was too rough and fast as he slipped his tongue inside yours to assert his dominance. 
He broke off from the kiss and went down to your chest, kissing and sucking on your hardened nipple, even nibbling on them. The other one was taken care of by his long fingers, tugging on them and sending sparks of pain whenever he tugged them sharply. You let out a high-pitched moan as he typically never paid that much attention to your boobs. 
Being the little shit he was, he decided to become more aggressive once he switched treatments on both nipples. In one, he was biting and sucking on it harshly with his teeth while the other was being flicked and pinched with his fingers. After hearing your mewls and whines, he decided to tug it upwards which created an electrifying shock towards you. 
“Ahh! What-oh-oh my god!” you cried as your body tried to calm itself down from the pain while Taehyung watched your boob snap back into place with an evil smirk plastered on his face.
“Aww, does the little baby not like that? Does it hurt?” he mocked and you nodded, tears threatening to fall out of your eyes. “Too bad, little whore. It’s what you deserve after you acted like a dumb little bitch who’s only good for taking in dick.” 
You gasped to yourself at the degrading terms, surprised at yourself for hearing him calling you that for the first time and how much you like that. Taehyung could tell as well because of the way your slick is coming down rapidly from your thighs. 
“Does the stupid little girl like that? Do you like getting treated as just a dirty little cockwhore for me to use?” he asked, pulling up your skirt and making kitten licks on top of your pussy to tease you. 
You bucked your hips up higher for him to keep going: both the degradation and him eating you out. Taehyung’s tongue always felt so good on you and the way he was staring at you could nearly make you cum right now. 
“Yeah, you enjoy it so much huh? Being treated like a dumb baby who’s only good at making Daddy feel good? Do you want me to make you feel good? Does your little hole want to be filled up with my cock?”
“Yes,” you whined, thrashing against his face as the ache’s gotten worse for you. At this point, you wanted anything from him just so the burning sensation could feel better. 
“Such a little slut. Always desperate for Daddy’s cock,” he shook his head as he licked a stripe of your core before turning you on your hands and knees, your ass in full display. 
“Wh-what are you going to do?” you whispered, thinking of the times he’s gotten you in this position when you were in trouble with him. Most likely it’s going to be a spanking so you internally braced yourself for the impact. 
“I’m going to do something different,” he replied, pulling up your skirt so your puckered hole was on display. He rubs a finger to prod your entrance, collecting the slick that was forming there. “We haven’t done anal before, have we?” 
You shook your head, your heart racing on what he’s going to do with you. For some reason, it made you nervous as it was something that you’ve never done before and you’ve heard so much stuff about it from your friends and the magazines. 
“Shh, don’t be nervous, it’ll be okay. You’ll be my good girl and take it, right?” Taehyung comforts you, kissing the back of your neck to calm you down and massaging your butt. You nodded, swallowing the lump down your throat to prepare yourself. 
“I-I can do it,” you tried to say confidently, taking deep breaths. 
“I know you can, you’re such an obedient little baby...some of the time,” he cooed, prodding your asshole with his thumb to try to get you used to the feeling and using your wetness as lube. 
“Hey, what do you mean some of the time?” you barked, turning your head back to face him as a shit-eating grin was plastered on his face and his eyes darkened in lust. Apparently, his statement was supposed to distract you as he started to insert the first half of his thumb into your hole. “Daddy, what the fuck-” “Shh, relax baby,” he said in a soothing tone, feeling your walls clench around his digit tightly. 
“Oh, okay,” you nodded and tried to calm yourself down as you took a deep breath and felt Taehyung’s thumb slowly starting to enter deeper inside of you, your walls trying to accommodate the stretch. 
“You’re doing so good, taking Daddy’s thumb like such a good girl,” he praised softly, the compliment sending butterflies in your chest and making your face heating up even more. “It’s only a little bit left, you can do it baby.” 
By now, you were a moaning and whining mess as you tried to stuff yourself into the pillows due to the embarrassing sounds you were making. You feel so full already and Taehyung wasn’t helping as he’s bringing his hand to the front of your pussy, flicking your clit. 
“Such a sweet girl, you took all of my thumb,” he said with admirement, feeling the way your walls flutter around his finger tightly. The thought of you like this, all whiny and helpless under him while he takes you from behind, entered his mind and he let out a growl from the chance that he can make that thought into a reality.
All of a sudden, he pulled his thumb out of your hole, making you groan with disappointment as you were getting used to it inside you, before plunging his long pointer finger inside. You started to let out even more whines as you started to feel overwhelmed with the pleasure, both from the front and behind. 
Taehyung added his middle finger and thrusted them in and out, quickening the pace while deciding to stick another one in, making you feel even more full than before. Your body started to tremble as you tried to keep up with him and steady yourself due to the rate he was going at. 
“Jesus, have you gotten tighter than before?” he muttered, spreading your walls apart and making scissoring motions in an attempt to go deeper and stretching you out as much as possible so that you’re ready to take his dick later. Speaking of which, he felt himself grow harder with every little movement and sound you make, your cute noises boosting up his ego and turning him on.
You looked absolutely wrecked, the side of your face sprawled onto the pillows as your eyes were closed shut, mouth was open into a moan with drool slowly dripping down the corner of your lips, and your pretty ass sticking out for him as you started to grind on his hand, wanting to feel more. 
“You’re enjoying this too much aren’t you, you bad little girl,” he tsked, fingering your hole harder and shoving his pinky inside. With practically all of his long digits inside, it hits every corner of your walls and gives you shocks of pleasure with every thrust which is leading you to your orgasmt. “Do you want my dick inside you, huh?” Your high-pitched squeals of need and you grinding your ass back to feel his hardened dick and chasing your high gave him the answer he needed. “You just want your little holes to be filled up, isn’t that right? Too bad.” All of a sudden, he immediately removed his hands and turned you back on your front, your legs sprawled out for him and your face contorting into a whine from the lack of contact. 
“Why-why did you stop?” you panted, sweat dripping down your forehead as he was hitting every single part of you but ended it without any warning and leaving you dry. 
“Because my little princess is still a bad little slut. Don’t worry though, maybe if you feed Daddy with your cute pussy, I’ll forgive you,” he replied as he licked a stripe up your cunt and made your body tremble from his dirty words. As he started to eat you out, you made eye contact with him and compared to his softer gaze, his naturally brown eyes are absolutely dark from lust which made him look intimidating. To tease you even more, he gave you a seductive wink and you felt yourself turn into putty as you let him do whatever he wants with you. 
“D-daddy..” You were at a loss for words due to the bliss you were in. Taehyung was eating you out completely, kissing your clit, and humming occasionally to send vibrations throughout your sensitive core. His tongue was deep inside your entrance and his fingers were added as well to try to find your g-spot. 
At this moment it was like you were in another world with your mind becoming absolutely blank and only focusing on him and your eyes nearly seeing stars. The noises inside the bedroom were extremely lewd, the squelching of your pussy as Taehyung eats you out and the whimpers and moans that are coming out of your mouth.
“Filthy little fuckslut,” he sighed, lapping at your clit and swirling it around between his tongue. When he lightly grazed on it with his teeth, the volume of your whines were even louder than before and you were ten seconds away from releasing. 
“Does my angel want to come now? Is she going to release her sweet juices on my tongue?” he asked, staring at your fucked out face from below while thrusting his tongue muscle in and out. 
“Mmh-” you whined, the familiar feeling that arises when you feel like releasing slowly taking over you as the rest of your body keeps writhing and twitching from the ministrations that Taehyung was doing to you. 
“Pretty little baby,” he cooed, watching you starting to tremble as your orgasm was near. That sets off a reaction in your stomach because all of a sudden, you see your vision going blank and full of stars as you release all of your liquids on him.  
It was like you had just dropped down from a roller coaster as you were still trying to come down from your high but it seems like it hasn’t stopped since more liquids were dripping down and soaking the bed sheets. 
Taehyung looked at you in awe as some of it were splattered onto his face and surprisingly, your orgasm seemed more intense than before and you were squirting intensely onto his bed. He licked off some of your juices that were onto him before giving a final kiss on top of your cunt as he watches you slowly regain consciousness. 
“Huh, what- oh shit, I’m so sorry,” you babbled, realizing what just happened and feeling completely embarrassed. Taehyung had no shame regarding what you two do in bed but it was still humiliating that you absolutely drenched his bed due to how good he was. “No no, it’s okay, besides it was really hot,” he smiled, trying to assure you that everything was fine. You rolled his eyes at his lewd remark as you slightly punched his shoulder, his comment definitely not helping. 
“Are you still mad at me?” you asked quietly.
“Of course not, you know I can never get mad at you. But that doesn’t mean I’m not done with you because I still haven’t fucked you yet,” he replied as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt, giving you a mini strip-show. 
Taehyung was a very attractive man and today it was evident as he kept staring straight at your face while taking off every piece of clothing on him. His honey skin was reflected against the late afternoon sun, causing it to glow like he was some god that came out of the sky. Although he wasn’t the most muscular, you were more than fine with how he looked because a man like him could have any girl in the world and he chose you. 
“Why are you taking so long?” you whined as he slowly unbuckled his black jeans. You could see his hardened dick begging to be set free and knowing how good it looked and felt made you absolutely on your nerves as you impatiently kicked your feet immaturely. 
“Patience, little girl,” he chided softly as he was now stripped down to his grey Calvin Kleins, palming his big bulge on top of his boxers. “Do you wanna take it off for me?” You nodded rapidly, crawling over to him and pulling down the restricting material. As soon as they were gone, his long and thick cock stood up instantly. Your mouth immediately watered at the sight of it with precum oozing out of the angry head. Honestly, his dick intimidated you due to how big it was and if it’s ever going to fit you despite sleeping together with him multiple times. 
“Daddy…” you whispered as he pumped his length to let the precum slick it well. His hands were normally really big but for some reason, they looked small when they’re wrapped around his dick. 
“What’s wrong, are you scared?” he teased lightly, a playful grin stuck on his face as he hovers above you to insert it in. 
“N-no, I’m ready,” you said confidently as he aligns himself above your entrance, the tip of his dick slightly grazing your folds. 
“That’s my good girl,” he praised, immediately pushing himself in inch by inch, hitting all of your nerves and filling you up to the brim. You dig your nails behind his back to try to steady yourself as he seems to be going deeper than before, feeling him hit your g-spot and other nerves that weren’t explored before. 
“A-ah, shit it feels so fucking good. Your cunt is so warm and tight for me, holy fucking hell, you like that baby? Like my big fucking cock inside your tiny little pussy?” he grunts, rolling his eyes back as soon as his whole dick was inside you. You mewled pathetically, not being able to find words of how you’re feeling. 
Taehyung took your noises as a sign for him to keep going harder and faster. Although you were just getting used to his veiny and lengthy dick burning your cunt, it wasn’t for long as he started to take his dick out so only the tip was above you and slamming it back in. You squealed at the sudden fast pace, his dick pounding into you deeper and harder. 
He snapped his hips harder and started to thrust even faster, making you feel delirious and out of breath. The pleasure was overwhelming due to how well and often he was hitting that spot that always made you weak and his deep moans and grunts were turning you on. Your eyes were glossy due to the tears that were slipping out from the euphoria you were in and the way your cute eyes stared at him from below only turned him on even more, fucking you as hard and fast as he can. 
“Aww, is my little fucktoy crying? Is it too much for you, huh? Is it too overwhelming for my little baby?” he mocked once he saw your face, thrusting at an inhumane pace. You whimpered at the degradation with glossy eyes, which only set Taehyung off even more. 
“Fucking shit, the things you do to me little girl. Daddy’s hitting it so hard and fast, right? You could feel Daddy’s dick deep in your stomach?” With that being said, he palmed the bottom of your stomach and sure enough you could feel the presence of his bulge in there. 
“I-I- oh fuck, y-yeah, faster,” you stammered, embarrassed at yourself for not being able to form coherent sentences but at the pace Taehyung was going at, it was pretty useless to. 
“Stupid little baby, only good for letting me use her tight and tiny little pussy, my stupid little doll,” he cooed while kissing your cheek affectionately, the soft action mixed with the degradation making your pussy flutter around his cock tightly. 
At this point, you were ten seconds near your orgasm due to how well he was making you feel. The familiar knot that signals if you’re about to cum is near and the volume of your noises has risen, filling the rooms with your high-pitched squeals and whimpers. 
“Is my baby going to cum soon now? Do you wanna be a good girl and cum for Daddy?” Taehyung asked in his raspy voice above your ear, fucking you against your g-spot. 
His words sent off a reaction in you that leads you to your high. You screamed out his name and released every single one of your juices on his dick, your body trembling due to the impact. Taehyung gasps as he couldn’t move due to how tight you were squeezing his dick due to your orgasm. 
“Fucking shit, that’s a good girl,” he sighed, watching you slowly try to come down from your climax. For some reason, that just made him ten times harder and wanting to cum as soon as possible. 
You were in a state of euphoria, your vision being blackened out and your senses not thinking straight. As soon as you slowly started to regain consciousness, you found yourself in Taehyung’s close embrace as he started to speed up. 
“Shh, shh, baby, it’s okay, Daddy’s here,” he said softly, kissing you with love as you started to whine from the overstimulation as Taehyung was continuing to fuck inside you to reach his own high. “Can you hold on for Daddy, please?” You nodded slowly, feeling a bit bad about cumming before him. Although it slightly burned since you were sensitive from your own orgasm, you decided to keep it to yourself just to let him climax.
“You’re such a sweet little girl, my good baby,” he grunts as he started to slow down and his thrusts became sloppier since he was getting close to his orgasm. You let out a cute whine and that’s what it took for Taehyung to release. 
With a low guttural groan, you felt his dick inflate inside of you and shoot out loads of his cum. He slowly started to pull himself out of you while he was still releasing, making his seed spill out of you while the rest was stuffed inside of your cunt. He stroked his now sensitive dick to make each last drop land onto your cunt before flopping down next to you out of breath. 
“You did so well baby, I love you so much,” he whispered cutely, showing his adorable box smile which made your heart swell while stuffing the remaining cum that was slowly starting to drip out inside of your battered cunt. 
“I love you too,” you croacked back, trying to calm yourself down from the two intense orgasms you had and the overstimulation. 
“I’m sorry, I must’ve gone too hard on you,” he started to apologize but you immediately stopped him.
“N-no, I’m completely fine. You did really well too,” you smile, hugging him tightly. 
“You’re always so sweet but first let me take care of you, okay?” he grinned back, stepping out of the bed and into the bathroom to put on some clothes and clean you up. As soon as he came back, he handed you an oversized shirt and had a washcloth in his hand to clean up your thighs and core. 
“Do you mind if I put you down for a bit? I’m going to clean the sheets,” he asked, carrying you onto a nearby chair and changing the sheets. Soon, the bed was back to normal and you two decided to sleep in.
“I’m sorry for acting like a brat,” you said amongst his broad chest as you were snuggled up against him.
“No, it’s okay. You’re still a good girl no matter what,” he reassured you, kissing the top of your head and looking out into the window. The sky has turned into a pitch-black with stars scattered in different areas like a painting. “I’m sorry that you’ll have to miss Lisa’s party. I guess it must be starting soon.’’ “Taehyung, don’t apologize for that. Besides, I’d rather hang out with you than go to a party. It’s okay, she’ll understand,” you said, brushing off his apologies. Of course you would like to hang out with your friend but being with him made you feel like the happiest girl in the world. 
“You’re so cute, like a tiny little baby,” he cooed, squishing your cheeks which made you immediately brush his hands off. Due to your age gap, he always found you cute because you were younger than him and treated you like a baby sometimes. It was endearing but sometimes it can be plain annoying. 
“Oh my god, you’re so annoying,” you grumbled, turning away from him and placing a pillow on your head to prevent him from bothering you any further. 
Taehyung laughed at your antics before slowly hugging you from behind and sleeping alongside you in that position. 
With the previous sugar babies he had, he wouldn’t be sleeping with them in this position or have so much love and care but you were different. You absolutely stole his heart and even though you have your bratty moments, you will always be his number one. 
a/n: damn this was filthy...but i hope the anons who requested this and y’all like it <3 
taglist: @taesluttt, @laurynne5, @bonnyskies, @aretha170, @arthurflecc​, @mytaetaey​, @bts-txt-ateez​, @maijinki​, @pimentelssmile, @kookies-princess​, @seventeenis-thedream​, @impartoftoomanyfandoms​
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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years
Text
All Bets Are Off ~ YJG & LMH [Request]
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WORD COUNT:3.3.k
PAIRING: Jeongin x Fem!Reader x Minho
GENRE: Angst, fluffy ending, swearing
A/N: I hope you like this, I sort of went for a different way of writing it so I hope you like it and understand it 
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"Did you hear about Jeongin?" You looked up from the makeup palette you were using to see some of the other stylists all crowding around one another as they spoke in hushed tones, the mention of his name sent shivers down your spine. It was as if someone had just taken a cup of freezing cold water and poured it down your back bringing you into a harsh reality that was the real world,
"I wouldn't worry too much," Sana spoke softly as she noticed the worried look spreading across your face, after working with you for almost all of her career she was able to read you like a book, she knew every look you gave meant something and this was a worried one. The simple mention of Jeongin's name made you want to burst into tears at any given moment but you couldn't, you couldn't let on that what they were gossiping about was about you and Jeongin not only was it embarrassing but it would also lead you to get fired on the spot. 
"There's always some kind of gossip, but it's nothing." She reminded you as she placed her hand on top of yours, running her smooth pale skin to try and calm you down but nothing was working. Your skin was starting to feel clammy as you heard the gossip getting louder and louder, normally the gossiping would go over your head but this time you knew it was going to be about you and Jeongin. The more they spoke the harder your heart began to beat against your chest, so hard it felt as though it was going to spring out of your chest as you slowly placed down the brush you had been using on Sana's face, 
"I heard it was a stylist," One of them giggled before looking around the room, none of them had any idea what was truly going on. They only knew what they had heard and even that wasn't the full truth, the only people who knew the truth were you, Jeongin, Sana, Nayeon and Minho and the boys Jeongin had created this whole thing with, you didn’t want the entire JYP Entertainment company knowing the in’s and out’s of your personal life, 
"Do you want to go and get some air?" Nayeon questioned as she noticed how faint you began to look, there were beads of sweat beginning to collect on your forehead and all you could do was nod your head in answer to her. Both her and Sana got up before taking you out of the room and headed towards the quiet room so you could take a minute to yourself. 
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Breathing heavily you tried not to look out of the glass walls of the quiet room instead you were trying to focus on Nayeon and Sana as they tried to calm you down,
"You need to forget about them, they don't know it's you." Nayeon reminded you as she cupped your face in her hands, running her small fingers under your eyes to remove the tears that you hadn't even noticed had begun running down your cheeks. 
"It's not even that big of a deal, it'll blow over soon," Sana reminded you but you weren't listening to them now, your eyes were locked onto Jeongin as he came down the hall out of one of the studios. The boys were standing with him laughing about something, all you could think about was them laughing at you even if it wasn't what they were doing. They were lost in conversation with one another but as soon as Jeongin saw you staring at him he froze in place, this was the first time he'd seen you around the building in months. He figured you'd quit but seeing you there brought back all of the emotions he had for you, another pair of eyes made their way to yours as he saw you sitting with the girls. Minho. As soon as you saw him it was like a wave of relief washed over your body and the panic you had been feeling about Jeongin suddenly disappeared from your mind as Minho gave you a small reassuring smile. Jeongin frowned as he saw you staring behind him, he glanced over his shoulder to his Hyung as he scoffed, storming off in the direction he was going originally. The girls had been hiding you whenever Jeongin came around asking to speak to you, there was no way you were ever going to be able to face him or even speak to him after what he did to you what he put you through for the last year of your life. All of the times you spent together came crashing back into you like a wave hitting the sand, even if Minho was by your side nothing could stop you from feeling the hurt you experienced with Jeongin and every time you looked at the young Maknae it hit you over and over again.
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Things between you and Jeongin had been going great, you were dating in secrecy since it was in your contract that you weren't allowed to date any of the idols that worked for JYP Entertainment and you had signed and agreed to that. Dating wasn't a problem since you seemed to get along with all of the idols really well, Stray Kids treated you like a sister as did the members of Itzy and Twice since you worked with them the most. 
"Hey, are we still meeting at the dorms?" Jeongin whispered in your ear as he ran his hands up and down your side, you let out a shaky breath as you nodded at his question, Jeongin was the only one that didn't treat you like a sister since you guys were together.
"It'll be just the two of us, Channie-Hyung is working late and the boys have agreed to let me have the place to myself," He placed a quick kiss on your shoulder before moving away from you, going to sit down on the sofa that was inside the styling room you were working in. You were currently practising some of the hairstyles for Twice on a mannequin head so you could make sure you had it perfect when it came to doing live shows. 
"You're doing great, you've been getting better ever since you got here." That was Jeongin for you, always trying to make sure you felt confident in everything that you were doing in the company. You were an apprentice stylist getting paid below the minimum to train there while working alongside some of the greatest idols and stylists in the business,
"You have to say that, you're my boyfriend." You rolled your eyes at him as you continued to pin some of the curls onto the head of the doll and then spraying it with some glitter hairspray before stepping back to look at it from behind. 
"I would tell you if it looked bad, you know I would." He pressed his lips against your ear as you let out another shaky breath, he knew what all of his small touches and kisses did to you but he never acted on any of them. It was all part of the game for him, he was just going along with the game he and some of the boys had arranged with one another and so far you were falling into the trap. The two of you had been together for almost a year now which meant it was time for all of this to come undone soon but as the date drew nearer Jeongin couldn't help but want to postpone the day and tell the boys that the bet was off. That he couldn't break up with you because he was starting to fall in love with you for real but he knew they would laugh at him, and joke about it. The bet was to see who could date you the fastest and break up with you within a year, Jeongin won the dating side and decided he was going to make it a painful breakup until he got to know you. The more he got to know you over the past year the more he began to realise how much of an awful person he was for making this game with you, you had human emotions you weren't just some toy for him and the boys to play with whenever they got bored but it was too late now, he was too far into the "relationship" to tell you what it really was and he didn't want the boys to laugh at him and call him whipped over someone he barely knew but he knew you. He felt he knew you well enough to fall in love with you and what did it matter if it was all some kind of joke, to begin with? It wasn't as if you had to know the details, he could just tell the boys it was off and that would be it, you'd never have to know about it or the money that was included in the bet.
"Everything okay Innie?" You questioned as you glanced over at him, his face was pale as he stared down at your feet clearly he was thinking hard about something since he hadn't heard what you asked him. Waving your hand in front of his face you waited for him to snap out of the daydream but when he did he jumped up from the seat, 
"I need to go and talk the boys," He stuttered out nervously as he looked at you, smiling at you as he leant forward to give you a quick kiss in the empty styling room only for you to playfully hit him with a brush, 
"Go before you get us caught," You hissed at him, giggling as you watched him running away from you and down the hall, the giggle you let out filled him with hope as he raced to find the boys hoping they hadn't left already. 
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As you were leaving the building you walked by one of the studios when you heard Jeongin's voice sounding strained as he spoke back and forth with someone, you knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but when you heard your name you wanted to see what it was all about.
"Look, it wasn't our idea to make her fall in love with you, all you had to do was date her," Felix said as he looked at a worried-looking Jeongin, he'd come to the boys for advice, telling them that the bet was off but they claimed there wasn't just a way out of it since they'd all put money down into it. 
"You can't tell me you're starting to have real feelings for her," You heard Seungmin laugh loudly as he spoke to Jeongin, Jeongin added an awkward laugh as he began to scratch the back of his neck playing it off as though he was playing a trick on the boys.
"No! Of course, not. I was joking, I'm going to do it tonight." He laughed looking between Felix and Seungmin as he tried not to seem as bothered about this as he was. The bet was between the three of them, they didn't want the older boys getting involved since they got along with you the boys, Chan looked out for you like you were his twin sister and Seungmin knew damn well how Minho felt about you. Minho had been in love with you since you started working for JYP, he'd never been able to keep his eyes off you but the two of you were nothing more than friends.
"Besides, she's just a stylist you need someone better than that." As soon as Felix said that you felt your heart clench as you thought about what they were talking about and that was when you heard it, 
"₩700,000, is a lot of money Jeongin and it's all yours. All you have to do is break up with her before the end of the week," The way Seungmin spoke so apathetically made you shiver, normally they were the sweetest guys in the group but hearing this only made you want to throw up. 
"You decided to get in on this, we didn't force you to ask Y/n out, you did it and now you have to dump her before the time is up," Felix said smugly as he turned to leave the room, you gasped as you darted out in the other direction sliding yourself into a different studio as tears rolled down your cheeks. 
"Y/n?!" Minho asked in a panicked tone as soon as he saw you crying, he dropped what he was doing and walked over to you placing his hand on your arm but you flinched away from him.
"Y-You can give it up! I know you're all in on it right?!" You choked out a sob as you wiped your face, moving away from the door and from Minho as you shook your head. 
"You think just because I'm not some famous Idol that I don't have feelings?!" Minho stepped away as you yelled out at him, he'd never heard you raise your voice to anyone before and now you were crying and screaming about feelings.
"What are you talking about?" He tried to steady you but you weren't having any of it, 
"You can quit pretending, I know Jeongin only asked me out because you all bet he could dump me within a year. I get it. I'm the joke," But the look on Minho's face read that he had no idea what you were talking about but that he was angry about it, his face was getting redder by the second. 
"They did what?" You stopped sniffling as you turned to look up at him wondering why he hadn't known about the bet but he heard laughter coming from down the hall and he stormed out of the studio you were standing in. 
"Jeongin!" His voice boomed and it almost sounded as deep as Felix's did as the Maknae froze in place, turning to look at you and Minho. Your eyes were bloodshot as you continued to silently cry into a tissue, 
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"Everything okay, babe?" Minho put his hand on Jeongin's chest to stop him from coming any closer to you, he didn't want Jeongin to be near you in this state. 
"Don't call her babe, don't pretend that this is real when she's just heard you betting money on who could date her and dump her!" Jeongin flinched, he'd seen Minho angry before but never this level of anger and he didn't like this side of his Hyung. 
"Are you stupid? Incredibly sensitive or just a complete and utter idiot?!" Felix and Seungmin came out of the room they had been standing in to see what was going on outside when they saw Jeongin, his body was slumped down as he stared at the floor not looking at either you or Minho as he yelled at him. 
"Answer the question!" Minho demanded, his anger boiling up even more at the thought of someone hurting you emotionally or physically. 
"I- I wasn't thinking when I agreed to it," Jeongin mumbled as he still couldn't look up,
"Please! Minho is only angry because he's in love with Y/n." Seungmin spat out making you tense up as Minho turned to him next, 
"You know what, yeah I am but that doesn't mean that you get to toy around with someone's emotions! Do you have any idea how fucked up that is?!" Sana and Nayeon came out of their dressing rooms when they heard the yelling, they took one look at you before dragging you into a friendly embrace while Minho continued to get into a heated argument with Jeongin about what he had done. 
"We were bored," Seungmin mumbled, rolling his head back against the wall as if he didn't care what he had done, 
"You were bored?" Minho scoffed, running his tongue along his teeth as he shook his head, 
"I'm bored sometimes but you don't see me going around and betting money on people's feelings...You make me sick, give me one good reason I shouldn't tell Chan what you've done!?" Jeongin's eyes locked with yours and then to Minho as panic ran through his body,
"Because I'm in love with her, for real...I love her and I...I wanted to call this whole thing off but the boys weren't going to let me," He explained but you didn't look up from Nayeon's arms, you felt nothing when he said he loved you. 
"You should have thought about that before you got into this mess," Minho snapped, watching as Felix and Seungmin walked over to you, apologising before leaving without another word to one another.
"Y/n I'm sorry...I just-" You slapped Jeongin across the cheek as he tried to speak to you, you knew that violence was never the answer but right now it was what he deserved for ripping your heart out and stamping it into the ground. 
"Do you think you can forgive me?" You stared into his eyes as you watched tears roll down his face, you searched them for any sign of sincerity that he meant that he was sorry and you knew he was but it didn't mean you could accept this. 
"No. I can't...Maybe if you had told me about it instead of laughing behind my back things would have been different but now?" You looked him up and down before sniffling, 
"Now I can't even look at you," You whispered turning into a sob as you walked away with Sana and Nayeon to find a girls bathroom where you could clean yourself up for the night.
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"Hey," Minho whispered as he replaced Nayeon and Sana in the quiet room, the two of them going off to change before heading home. 
"Hi," You whispered back to him, leaning your head on his shoulder as you tried to come down from the small panicky feeling you had experienced. Minho placed his hand over yours, locking your fingers together as you both sat down on the stools in the room. 
"It'll get easier to look at him, I promise." He whispered to you as he traced small patterns into your hand with his fingertips, just having him this close to you made you feel so much better. The two of you had been dating for a month, deciding to try it out together and it was working. 
"I don't know how you do it," You laughed sarcastically as you looked up at Minho through your lashes, he and Jeongin had gone back to acting as though nothing had happened, in fact, the whole of the Maknae line were pretending it never happened and the money was never spoken about again. That was of course after Jeongin tried to give it to you as an apology but you told him you wanted nothing to do with that part of your life anymore.
"I can tell how sorry he is, it doesn't mean I forgive him for hurting you it just means I'm capable of letting it pass but if he hurts you again I'll break his knees," You laughed at him and shook your head at him, 
"No, you won't. He's your friend, you should go though." You nudged him as you noticed the boys manager staring at you through the glass walls of the quiet room, 
"I'll make it up to you, your place tonight?" He questioned as if there was any other place you would go together. The two of you would always hang out at your apartment since you didn't have the bravery to head to the dorms just yet. 
"Yeah, bring food." You ordered as he walked out of the door, sending you a playful wink as he walked away from you.
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Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @minholuvs​
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