#i started a rewatch of penny dreadful but it made me want to lost the will to live

[renlyslittlerose]

Finished BG3 last night! Thoughts and spoilers behind the cut!

When I started the game I had just finished a rewatch of Better Call Saul, and ended up basing my Tav off of Saul and his personality, motivations, etc. At the start she just wanted to survive and come out on top. While not evil or mean, she definitely tried to rig the system in her favour wherever she could in order to survive.

She was selfish, honestly. Though still supportive of her companions and she helped those who needed aid, there was always that lingering sense of "but how does this benefit me?"

In her quest to survive she allowed the Emperor to turn her half illithid, and consumed multiple tadpoles in order to see she got to the finish line. She allowed a strange drow to turn her into a walking fire bomb, and she didn't outright deny any help - even if it meant potentially making a deal with a Devil (or his incubus).

But then we get to the choice between Orpheus and the Emperor - of freeing an unknown and potentially dangerous man, or siding with a damn liar! And that's when shit caught up to her. She realized that this was more than her and her survival, and that she needed to let the chickens come home to roost. She chose to free Orpheus and then became an Illithid herself. She finally made a choice for the greater good, rather than just for herself and what made her happy.

Besides: in for a penny, in for a pound. She was already half illithid, and half her brain was swimming with tadpoles.

We ended up saving the day and saw Orpheus and Lae'Zel off with a smile and a promise to never forget what my Tav had done for them nor their people. Managed to convince Karlach and Wyll to go to Avernus, and convinced Gale to forget about the damn crown.

Later on my Tav broke up with Shadowheart, both realizing that as a mind flayer they wouldn't be able to live much of a life together (when she walked away from Shadowheart her little leather suit was squeeking and I lost my goddamn mind). My Tav wandered Fae'run for a bit, trying to keep her humanity and memories, until the party where she met up with everyone she'd sacrificed so much for.

Other than having a sudden desire to eat Astarion's brain (despite it being 'less wrinkled than most people's), things seemed okay. Not great, not happy, but okay. Gale offered her a teaching position at his side, and Jaheria made her a Harper. But the looming sense of dread is always there - that eventually my Tav will lose herself, and either become a monster as she'd always feared or end her existence before she hurts anyone.

And I like the ending. I like the sacrifice she made. I like how a selfish, inward looking person was able to finally do the right thing and complete an action done out of pure altruism and love. It's bittersweet but fitting.

Overall the game was good! But it needs some polish - especially in Act III. Excited to see if the company can put some extra polish on it and fix things. I'm willing to be patient considering I'm a fan of Cyberpunk 2077 😂

#lemon plays bg3

[loiskane]

me: i miss penny dreadful :((

the nevers: how about the same vibe but more women

me: omg i'm obsessed

#the nevers #the nevers hbo #i wasn't going to watch this bc of you know who but he was fired from it #and only wrote 1 episode #and it's everything i want from a victorian era show #it's even similar to a story i'd be writing if i was the kind of person who actually wrote stories instead of just thinking about them #and making pinterest boards for ocs #and let me stress this: women #so many #and while i said same vibe to penny dreadful which is mostly true #it's not as bleak #and the tone is a little lighter #i started a rewatch of penny dreadful but it made me want to lost the will to live #even though it's so good

[moonflowermonster]

Tag game - 

I was tagged by @medusas-grave ✌ ✌ 

I’ll tag the usual suspects: @poepill @grabbyhands @adorably-lewd @oceansofstars and @starorchids (if you read this, i choose you too ✌)

LAST: Last Drink: Water, it’s all I drink Last Phone Call: My boss, bc i am old Last Text Message: My mom Last Song You Listened To: Take me to Church - Hozier Last Time I Cried: I don’t remember.

HAVE YOU EVER: Dated Someone Twice: Nope. Should’ve started with ‘dated someone once’ pfft. Been Cheated On: Nope Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Yeah, but its a lesson everyone learns. Lost Someone Special: Who hasn’t? Been Depressed: Eh,  Been Drunk and Thrown Up: Yeah, but i’m polite about it and puke outside.

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a New Friend: Nah, i’m awwkwaaard Fallen Out of Love: Wasn’t in it, so no. Laughed Until You Cried: Probably, but nothing stands out. Met Someone Who Changed You: No?? Found Out Who Your True Friends Were: Not really, shit changes when you’re all old and working anyway so -  Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Yeah, but it was harmless

GENERAL: How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: A few. My friends all  made our tumblrs in high school together and now we’re old. Do you have any pets?: Five pet cats and two strays. Do you want to change your name?: Nope bc I would pick something dumb  What time did you wake up this morning?: 7:30am What were you doing last night?: Going on a spotify adventure when I should have been sleeping. Name something you cannot wait for: I’m going on a weekend away thing with my friends this weekend, so thats exciting. We’re gonna rub mud on our faces in rotorua.  Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, I have a cousin named tom. What’s getting on your nerves rn?: Politics and tv. Blood type: I'm not sure. O positive? Nickname: Shan. Zodiac sign: Leo Pronouns: She/Her Favorite tv show: At the moment I’m rewatching Eerie Indiana bc childhood, but Hannibal, Penny Dreadful, Mr Robot, Bobs Burgers. Idk... Stuff. College: Nah, I’m debt free and unedjumacated  Hair colour: Blonde with really bad regrowth bc I am too lazy to bleach it, even tho I have one sitting in the bathroom cupboard.. Long or short: Longish Do you have a crush on someone: Nah What do you like about yourself: I have good looking hands

FIRSTS: First surgery: None First piercing: Ears First best friend: Same one my whole life First sport you joined: ........ honey First vacation: We were poor so... family vacations were not a thing.  First pair of sneakers: Not really a momentous occasion my dude. Eating: ...........what Drinking: These should probably be directed at my parents, how would I know

I’m about to: Eat dinner and watch youtube Listening to: Youtube Want kids: No thanks. I’m good. Get married: Also no thanks. Career: Honestly? I don’t care

WHICH IS BETTER: Lips or eyes: Eyes Hugs or kisses: Neither thank you. Shorter or taller: Taller Older or younger: Older Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous Sensitive or loud: A healthy mix of both bc that’s how people are??  Hook up or relationship: Neither Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER: Kissed a stranger: Yes Drank hard liquor: Yes Lost glasses/contacts: Not permanently. They always turn up. Sex on first date: Nope Broken someone’s heart: Nope Been arrested: No Turned someone down: Yes Fallen for a friend: No

DO YOU BELIEVE: In yourself: I exist sure. Miracles: No Love at first sight: Nope Heaven: I don’t think anyones gotten it right yet. Santa Claus: I did when I was a kid. My dad would drive down late on christmas eve after my sister and me had gone to bed (my parents are separated, have been since i was young) drop off presents from ‘santa’ and  then drive back home the same night, only to drive down again christmas day. All so we could have that christmas morning magic. I never knew, or really even questioned it until mum mentioned it casually to him a couple christmases ago and honestly? My parents are great people. Thank you, i like remembering about this. :)))

#thanks for tagging me! #that was fun #about me

[wenamedthedogkylo]

Eyyyy, sum tags bruh

Get to know me tag game!

Tagged by @betweenrivers-betweenworlds, thnx m8.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20* people.

LAST:

1. Drink: Aqua, also known by plebs as “water”. 2. Phone call: Uh..... technically to Willa cause I think she was tryna find her phone. 3. Text message: A group text, in which I provided some amusing pictures. 4. Song you listened to: The chocobo theme from FFXV cause Willa’s playing it right now. 5. Time you cried: I genuinely have no clue. It was a while ago and I don’t cry easily. It was probably at a movie or something. Or maybe it was the cry I had after BatB...

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: HAH!! No. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yep. 8. Been cheated on: Lmao no 9. Lost someone special: Yeah, a couple. 10. Been depressed: Ahahahahahahaha! Literally 24/7. *finger guns* 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Of course, gotta do it at least once. I’ve done it more than once, so I’ve had my fill for life.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Dark red, black, and dark purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yup. 16. Fallen out of love: Pfft, ain’t even fallen in love so no. 17. Laughed until you cried: Many times. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Like... in a bad way? Not that I– wait, yes, my older sister talked trash about me to my parents cause she’s a butthurt immature crybaby who can’t have mature conversations to save her life. We all laughed about it. (By that, I mean my parents eye-rolled and sympathized with me and I cackled.) 19. Met someone who changed you: Mmmm... can’t say I have? 20. Found out who your friends are: Lmao I mean I already knew it. I don’t make friends easily, so once you’re a friend, that’s that. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: HAH. Nope.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I mean, technically most of them? I knew them either from HS or college, or they’re family? There’s only a few that I’ve met online, and at least one of those that I’ve met online who I’ve subsequently met IRL. 23. Do you have any pets: 1 1/2 cats. 1 cat is fully mine, and I co-parent her brother. 24. Do you want to change your name: I think I’ve effectively done all the name flipping necessary to feel comfortable with it, so nah. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Um. That... that’s a good question. I think I just... maybe had good food and watched a movie? 26. What time did you wake up: Like 11:55 AM, just in time to get my computer open to start work XD. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Playing the Sims and watching Parks & Rec. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: BLACK PANTHER! THOR: RAGNAROK!! STAR WARS!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Mmmmmm... I wanna say October? 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I’d make myself very wealthy to solve literally every single problem I, my friends, and my parents have. 31. What are you listening to right now: The background music for Final Fantasy XV. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, my grade school principle was a Tom. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Capitalism, not having money for the things I need, and how hard it’s been for me to focus on/enjoy things lately because *Jean-Ralphio singing voice* ~even on medication, depression makes my life a walking nightmaaaaaaare!~ 34. Most visited website: Tumblr for sure.

RANDOM INFO:

35. Mole/s: A few all over. 36. Mark/s: Tons of scars, can’t really think of any birthmarks of note. 37. Childhood dream: Archaeologist, dinosaur hunter, historian, astronaut, pirate, queen of England... the list was long and unrealistic. 38. Hair color: Light blondish-brown naturally, purple by choice. 39. Long or short hair: Long as fuuuuuuck. 41. What do you like about yourself: My eyes are a cool color I guess, and my hair is usually really soft and smells good. 42. Piercings: 3 per ear, two on each lobe and one each in the cartilage. 43. Blood type: Literally never been tested so I have no clue. 44. Nickname: Bree is the most common that I usually use in place of my real given name, Briana. My dad used to call me Bubbles for reasons I still don’t know, some friends called me Breezy in HS. Right now the only other big one is Bryn (online only). 45. Relationship status: Single as fuuuuck. 46. Zodiac: Capricorn. 47. Pronouns: She/her and they/them (rarely he/his). 48. Favorite TV Show: Penny Dreadful, it’s the most beautiful show to grace the world ever in the history of everything. 49. Tattoos: None. 50. Right or left hand: Righty. 51. Surgery: I had to get stitches on my head when I was little. It’s a dumb story. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Hell yes! 53. Sport: Quidditch. On the computer. That’s it, I don’t like sports. 55. Vacation: I’d love to properly explore Europe, do some more putzing around the UK and actually visit France. 56. Pair of trainers: Uh, none right now. Like I said, I’m not a sporty, active type of person so if I don’t need ‘em, I don’t got ‘em. I prefer boots and like, Keds-type slip-on flats types of things.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothing healthy, I’ll tell you that much. I’m trying to restructure my diet and exercise rn to lose weight, but 100% honestly that just means I’m gonna get tall 2% S’mores Frappuccinos instead of grande regular (whole milk) ones. 58. Drinking: I’ve been making a conscious effort to drink way more water, especially cause the summer makes me even more dehydrated. 59. I’m about to: Probably play the Sims? Or rewatch Castlevania hehe. 61. Waiting for: MY FIRST COLORED CONTACTS TO GET HERE AL-FUCKING-READY SO I CAN TRY THEM OUT. 62. Want: Student loans paid, more money in my bank account, and my new work schedule to start already. 63. Get married: It would certainly be nice with the right person, but highly unrealistic. 64. Career: Well, I’d prefer to be a film actor already, but until I’m more financially stable, my current job is alright.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Both are great, but honesty bomb warning, I’ve been pretty touch-starved my whole life thanks to social anxiety so I’m not used to either, especially kisses. Those tend to come more easily only when I’m drunk and there’s lots of people to kiss. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes for sure. 67. Shorter or taller: I prefer taller, and in fact would love to be taller myself, but oh well. 68. Older or younger: Younger than me just really weirds me out, although Tom Holland makes me feel a way or two. Older actually feels way better, particularly in the 10-15 years range, but I also know that if just like 1 or 2 years younger feels weird to me, then 10-15 probably would feel too weird to them. So I’m just resigned to living alone for the rest of my days. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice stomach, and with nice arms would be a bonus. 71. Sensitive or loud: If... if this is referring to sex, then I can’t tell ya as I’ve never done it. I would hazard a guess, just based on who I am, that I’d prefer sensitive? 72. Hook up or relationship: The very idea of a hookup repulses me and drives home how incredibly demisexual I am on top of everything else. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Uh....???? I... I guess I’d prefer someone who’s more hesitant than troublemaking, because that means they think about their actions first?

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: Yes, while highly intoxicated AND high AND in an environment where I felt safe, which was the only way that was ever gonna happen. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yeeeeeeeeup. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: YES AND IT’S THE MOST OBNOXIOUS THING EVER ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SHRIVELED DRIED UP CONTACT SUDDENLY SHOWS UP ON YOUR FLOOR A FEW DAYS LATER. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah. 78. Sex on the first date: As stated earlier, never had sex, so no. And I never would unless I already knew the person a while before the date. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Not that I’m aware of. I’m not really heart-breaker material. 80. Had your heart broken: Mostly by myself with my insecurities. 81. Been arrested: No. 82. Cried when someone died: Of course. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yeah, on occasion. Usually briefly before slapping my shit brain for confusing platonic feelings for romantic ones and making me have a crisis. Fuck you, shit-brain, fuck you.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Haaaaah, not really. I mean, sometimes? But depression makes that hard. 85. Miracles: I’d like to, but good things rarely happen to me so it’s hard to. 86. Love at first sight: I believe attraction at first sight can be unusually strong, but that should never be conflated with love. That takes time. 87. Santa Claus: Hahah no, my dad accidentally ruined that for me as a kid. 88. Kiss on the first date: If the date was bad, no, absolutely not. If it was okay and there’s some potential there, a kiss on the cheek seems appropriate. If it was great and there’s a lot of potential there, especially if you were friends already, sure go for it.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Willa and Kelsey (I firmly reject the notion that you can only have one best friend and fuck all you ungrateful cunts who don’t love your friends or yourself enough to have more than one). 91. Eye color: Blue-gray 92. Favorite movie: I... I think it might be Phantom of the Opera? I dunno, that’s always a hard fucking question for me.

*Tagging less than 20 cause man I don’t have the focus to count up that many people: @nerfherding-smuggler, @peasantabuser, @aceofaces20, @mel0dyoftears, @hawkeyepancakes, @girl-in-the-coat, @jo-version-2point0, @thegreaterfool, @bimgnusbane, @radioactive-spacemen.

And of course, it’s totally optional. And if you wanna do it but aren’t tagged, well now you’re tagged, go nuts buddy.

#Bree's stuff #about me #about Bree