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aleksa-sims · 2 years

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My RL gameplay (18+)

CW addiction, drugs

My annoying mother came home from work and the first thing she can think of, is yelling at me! Ana, Sandra and I had some fun last night. Ana’s boyfriend, this “vampier” guy, he brought us something to smoke. And so, that this little party in my room, doesn’t get too boring, I of course invited Philip and Ana’s boyfriend also had his brother with him. Who got along pretty well with S.! 🤨 Since Sandra was pregnant, she didn’t smoke with us, so the rest of us went out on the balcony. Just.... my parents had their bedroom window open, so my mom could hear Ana and I giggling all the time and later on also male voices. But ok, she knew Philip & Ana’s Boyfriend were with us. But my drug test was positive today, because of last night and yeah, my mom totally freaked out about it & also because of a few other reasons.

Oh, and my dad wasn’t home last night. He had to drive his stupid brother to my cousin’s college. But maybe this was a good thing, that he wasn’t home. 😬

Mom: What's all this crap? I work all day long and when I get home I have to clean up your mess and cook for you because you can NOT do anything alone. Seriously now! I’m not your cleaning lady! You couldn’t even do your own laundry. I was just ironing your laundry for three hours last night!

Me: Nobody told you to do my laundry! 🤷‍♀️

Mom: You know, I wonder how you did all this when you lived alone with Nico.

Me: He was definitely NOT as annoying as YOU! 😒

Mom: I’m so disappointed in you A.! What did you three do in your room last night? And who was with you?

Me: What’s it to you? I’m almost 20 years old and I can be with whoever I want!

Mom: Ana! 🤨.....TALK! 😒

Ana: Nope! 😬............Ugh, it was just us! 🤷‍♀️

Me: It was the three of us, Philip, David & his brother.

Mom: Ok, so that wasn’t Sandra’s boyfriend who she kissed when she went home? I saw you out the window, S.! You 6 made so much noise, that I woke up.😠

Sandra: Shit! 💩 🤦‍♀️ .....David’s brother & I, we felt a bit alone & he’ s cute. 😬.... A. was busy with Philip and Ana was busy with David, you know?

Mom: Are you three insane? 😦 😠 I thought you guys were grown up now, and you were acting like adults? But that’s just stupid! You’ve been acting like crazy teens. And you brought drugs into my house! Who the hell gave you this shit A.? Your fucking drug test is positive! And you Ana, you are now IMMEDIATELY taking a test too! And you Sandra, Idk what to say? 🤦‍♀️ You’re fucking pregnant! 😠 😠 😠

Sandra: I didn’t smoke!!! We really just had some harmless fun.

Me: Come down, ok! I didn’t take this other shit! So....chill! 😒

Mom: I don’t give a shit, A.! You’re a drug addict! And you put your sister into this shit? 😦 😠 Where did you get this stuff? And that Philip would do something like this, I would never have thought of him!

Ana: If you only knew what P. did with A.....🤣 And it wasn’t A., who got us weed, it was my.....boyfriend. 🤷‍♀️

Me: Ana! 🤦‍♀️..... Listen! This was just weed! Nothing special! And Philip just wanted to relax a bit! He’s really stressed out about all this shit that happened. You have no idea how bad he feels! So, please, just keep P. out of this!

Mom: If he needs to relax, then he should....., Idk, meditate or do yoga or read a book instead of just playing soccer or gambling, but he shouldn’t smoke weed with you! 😠

Ana: Oh no! She said Philip & Yoga! 😄

Mom: Yeah, and? 🤷‍♀️ Wouldn’t hurt you either! If I can do this, why can’t you?

Ana: Philip doesn’t do yoga! He only does it with that yoga girl-bitch.🤨

Sandra: 🤭 🤣......Sorry, A.! 😬

Me (to my mom): Just because you started this yoga shit, doesn’t mean that I want to or have to do it!

Mom: I do this during my teraphy! I became mentally ill because of you & your problems! And you Ana, you will be tested regularly from now on. Just like your sister! And letting you alone in your room with your boyfriend, that’s history for a while!

Ana: We’ll see! 💁‍♀️

Mom: How dare you talk to me like this? Just wait till your dad gets home! And now you A.! You’re not leaving the house alone anymore! I mean with Philip or Ana & Sandra! That’s over now!

Me: I’m not going to live like a prisoner here. 😠 And if P. can’t come to see me, I’ll go with him! He & I, only belong together from now on.

Mom: You've really lost your mind, haven't you. 😦 You can’t keep running away with someone just..... because your life sucks! Finally do the right thing before you make the same mistake again & again! And what should happen to your apartment now? 🤷‍♀️ Where should all these things & furniture go? Take care of this first! Put an ad on the Internet or something! I don’t care if Nico continues to pay the rent or not! It’s been 3 months now! In the end, everything will stick to me again and I have to take care of all these things & furniture there. 😠 😩

Me: I want to keep my apartment for as long as I can! And maybe I’ll go back tomorrow? Here with you, I can’t stand it! 😠

Mom: Oh, I’m sorry it’s so bad for you here. You live here like in a 5 star hotel! You don’t do anything! You come home from work and lock yourself up in your room with Philip right away. You do NOTHING! And I’m tired of cleaning up after you and Ana. You have no respect at all! This will change from now on! 😠

Me: I don’t give a shit! I’ll just move in with P.. 🤷‍♀️

Mom: Maybe Philip doesn’t want this? I mean, the first time, it didn’t work out because you used drugs all the time. And that’s why Nico left too!!

Me: I don’t care about N.! He should just stay away forever, I don’t want him anymore! I just want P.!

Mom: Now you just want P.? 🤨 Sure! I got it! Now that you can take drugs with Philip, it’s clear you want him.

Me: What kind of bullshit are you talking? P. doesn’t want me to take drugs! Come down! It was just weed, hell! 😠 🤷‍♀️

Mom: I noticed that Philip has changed a lot in the last 3 weeks. He won’t talk to us like he used to, when he got here. No, he’s just leaving with you in your room, to do..... whatever.

Ana: The two are just in love! Let them be together! Take care of your shit! He loves her and he doesn’t want to talk with you or your husband! Why would he? 🤷‍♀️ 🤨

Mom (to Ana): Who asked YOU? 🤨

Ana: I’m just trying to keep you from driving my sister away! And now stop it! We have NOT done anything bad!

Mom: Under my roof, I do not tolerate drug parties! 😠 Do you understand? And that you three are locked up here with 3 guys in A.’s room for a whole night, this is also forbidden from now on! Who knows what kind of shit you 3 did?

Ana: We certainly didn’t have sex all with each other if that’s what you think! .....Six of us! 😦 🤦‍♀️ .....🤣 🤣

Sandra: That would definitely be the craziest thing we’ve ever done! 🤨

Mom: No, I’m not that naive anymore! The past has taught me that everything is possible with you 3! I also never thought A. would go to bed with two men! And instead of her ending this thing, she just kept going and.....ugh! 😩 So please, don’t tell me I’m exaggerating.

Me: I’m going to my room! P.’s coming to me. And if you say something wrong to him...then, I am immediately gone! I swear! 😠

Mom: I’m not talking to anyone today! I’m sick of everything! But I want to know what’s going on with Philip because something has changed here!!

I was thinking if I should move out here again? I asked Philip to move in together and he said yes. Still, I wasn’t quite sure? I was afraid that Philip & I would fight as much again as we did at the beginning of the year, when I lived with him. But now our situation has actually changed. 🤷‍♀️ It’s just the two of us! And P. will soon have to go abroad, but between him and me, it won’t end like it did with Nico. And my mom was right! Something has changed here. 😢🤦‍♀️

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #18+ content #myrlgameplay #cw addiction #cw drugs

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tweepunkgrl · 3 years

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staying quiet as often as possible

even though the title is from “conversations with friends” by sally rooney, i was mostly reading “sweetbitter” by stephanie danier and was kind of reminded of the type of stories i like reading/writing.

Posting this before my bday! this is a prequel to “come and get me”

recommend listening to “moonover” by kississipi

For much of the pain that it can cause, a crush can be harmless. It’s fun to have a reason to be giddy, to feel silly and girly. There’s always that rush of excitement when the eyes catch a small glimpse of their person. It doesn’t need to mean anything, just as long as a person doesn’t act on it.

I never act on my crushes. I usually bury it deep inside me, never to come up to the surface. I try to wait until it subsides, and I find someone new to be fascinated with. It’s worked so far.

But miserable is the only word I can think of as I glance to his end of the booth in the dim bar. I’m on one side with my right leg stretched out to hold my weight against everyone pushing against me each time they so much as breathed. He’s on the other side, opposite of me, next to the window with a perfect view of Gotham’s vibrant nightlife. He’s not engaged with the conversation, and neither am I. He’s stuffing fires into his mouth, having already eaten his burger. His hand is languid as he brings a fry to his mouth, and he chews on it lazily.

Jason Todd’s mind is clearly on something else while mine is solely on him.

For about three shameful years, I’ve been fascinated with Jason. No one knows about it, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But I know about it, and each day it slowly chips away a piece of my pride. Especially since he’s dating Rose Wilson. Just made it official two months ago.

Crushes are more painful with proximity, and Jason is skin deep.

“We should ask for the check,” Wally says. He searches for the waitress and makes a small motion with his index finger once he makes eye contact.

I always hated that little tick men do; the little head nods, the look in their eyes where they expect you to do something for them and they don’t need to ask. The amount of space that they need to take up, and the space you give up to accommodate them. The moment someone is required to step out of their way when walking in opposite directions. It’s little signs of entitlement that are only inherent to men. I don’t know, I think I’m someone who gets easily irritated.

The waitress drags her feet to our table, and I understand the lifeless gaze she has as she plops the check on the table. I’d rather be somewhere else too.

She gathers what she cans and gives a curt nod before turning on her heels and walking away. Dick takes the check and slides his credit card into the pocket of the black bill folder.

Jason turns in his seat, placing one hand on the table while the other rests on the headrest. “I’m going out for a smoke.”

Beside me, Kory lifts a single eyebrow. I am impressed. I can’t do that. “Rose told me you quit.”

Jason shrugs nonchalantly and pushes Wally, Dick, and Garfield with his hip, urging them out of the booth so he could get out. “I don’t remember making that decision.”

“I could use a smoke too,” the words are out of my mouth before I could even stop myself. But I do. I really do.

Jason’s green eyes settle on me and my heart is already beating so hard it could burst out of my chest and fall right on the table in front of everyone.

A thing I hate about crushes is interacting with a crush. I become too aware of myself, of all the little movements. I overthink the words I say and the way I say them. I will agonize for days about how my voice sounded when I say hi. Diction becomes increasingly important outside a high school English class. Overanalyzing everything when it probably means nothing.

“I got Camels.”

“Not the menthols, right?”

A corner of his lip tugs upwards and I instantly melt. “No. Turkish Royals.”

“Nice, those are the best ones.”

Kory turns to me with confused neon green eyes. “You smoke?”

Just like Jason, I shrug. “Occasionally.”

I try not to notice the smirk that appears in his face, as though just that one word revealed how charming of a person I could be. I somehow pulled myself out of the booth with grace, despite the nerves that wracked from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I run my hands down the skirt of my blue plaid dress and take a quick glance at my favorite pair of Jadon boots.

I look up to find his gaze settled on me. Jason’s green eyes roamed over my face, taking it all in before he turned and walked over to the door. I trail awkwardly behind him with my hands clasped together in front of me.

It’s chilly outside, and I quickly take the cigarette Jason offers, already lit and ready. I rest my back against the brick wall, its edges creating indents on my skin. He’s doing the same, but he looks cooler doing it. Dangerous and mysterious.

“Smoking is nicer with company,” he says after a minute passes. He keeps his face tilted upwards, eyes gazing at the lights of the city.

“It’s a very social activity,” I say.

There is something meditative and melancholy about standing and smoking with Jason outside the bar. It could be a result of the empty night sky above us, with the single lamppost illuminating us. There’s something in the way his shoulders seemed tended for most of the time they ate inside, and how distant his eyes seemed. There’s an invisible force field keeping him away from everyone, one that wasn’t there before. I sadly spend too much of my time watching him, and it’s not hard to notice it.

“You don’t come out often.”

“Yes I do,” I say as I take a drag. I feel like a character right out of a Wong Kar-wai movie as I do so. “You don’t.”

Jason exhales and smoke flows out from between his lips. It curls in the air. “Yeah, that’s true.”

It’s silent between us for a moment. And then he says, “I’ve been spending all my time with Rose.”

I nod my head, trying to sound nonchalant. “Makes sense. She’s your girlfriend.”

He has a girlfriend and that means nothing to me. It doesn’t impact me whatsoever.

“That she is,” is his reply.

Our group of friends makes their way to us, laughter and joy strongly resonating from them. It overwhelms whatever atmosphere there was around Jason and me. It’s jarring to be thrown out of a quiet moment and into a loud one.

Dick looks at his wristwatch. “It’s getting late.”

“Ok, grandpa,” Vic laughs. “It’s only 11 pm.”

“Yeah, we usually turn in at 2 am,” Karen says.

“Three am if we’re feeling particularly reckless,” Garfield says.

I step in. “I have work early tomorrow. I should probably start heading home.”

“Aww, Raven, nooo.” Garfield pouts his lips to me.

I snub my cigarette out with the bottom of my boot, and as I walk toward the nearest trash can, I hear Jason's voice. “You live on the east side of town, right?”

It’s startling to see that he seems to know this. But it makes sense since we run in the same circle of friends. “Ummm, yeah.”

“So does Rose. I’ll walk with you.”

“Excellent idea!” Kory says with optimism oozing out of her. “It’s dangerous to walk alone at night.”

Dick seems to like that idea. He looks at me and says, “Send a text when you get home.”

Jason rolls her eyes. “She’ll be fine. I can make sure she gets home fine.”

We’re silent as we part ways from the group. It’s not until we’re a block away that I feel the pressure of his hand on my back. It’s hot, and it burns my cold skin. It’s nice, and I just want to engulf myself in it.

“I have tequila up in my apartment,” I say. “You wanna come up for a nightcap?”

He bites the side of his cheek and says, “Sure.”

#jayrae #jason x raven #jason todd #raven #raven roth

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mimiplaysgames · 3 years

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Terraqua Week Day 2 (Rivalry)

Summary: Growing up with your best friend is the greatest joy, the greatest nuisance, the greatest heartache. (The one where they kiss after their fight in Radiant Garden). || Word Count: 6,705

Read on AO3

A/N: My submission for the second day of @terraquaweek !! Title is from a quote from Eraqus from BBS. It’s pretty much the only line in the game that sums up Terra and Aqua, and it’s partly the reason why they’re so amazing. This whole rivals to lovers thing is so much like enemies to lovers and I WANT TO EAT IT ALL. I’m especially proud of this one - I had so much writing it!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

for when equal powers clash, their nature is revealed

CHILDHOOD

It was a strange dream but she doesn’t remember it when she wakes up, just that it left her with a coppery taste in her mouth and a fog blanketing her thoughts. Something is coming, and she can’t prepare for it.

Aqua decides to tell her best friend about it.

Terra is waiting for her in the woods. They like to hike to the lake, to listen to the birds in the summer. They like to spar away from the training grounds of the castle sometimes, away from the Master’s eyes so they could practice without any scrutiny. She’s grateful to have Terra—he’s just as crazy as her when it comes to their studies. Books past midnight? Sign me up. Spar for five hours? Your ass is grass. Forgo an entire night of sleep to talk about outside worlds, about their worries, their pride, finally being a Master? We won’t be efficient for training tomorrow, but here’s what I’m thinking.

She finds him at the mouth of the forest, a trail down from the waterfall. Terra is lobbing balls of fire, an excited grin on his face, itching to get moving. Too much energy for a fourteen-year-old in the morning.

“What does that mean?” Terra asks her when she describes the dream.

Well, she can’t really describe it. Nothing happened. Darkness. Questions spoken in her head, worries that there was a darker darkness moving around in the shadows stalking her. A nagging suspicion that inside its mouth was something she should have pulled out.

“Nothing’s going to get you here. You’re safe,” Terra says, though she doesn’t need reassurance. “Should we go back?”

“No, please.” Aqua keeps her nose high. “The lake is a good place to rest.”

But they wouldn’t rest. They both love the thrill: training their magic, the thought of an upcoming exam two weeks from now, essays. They can’t help themselves.

Terra punches the air, an energy blast shooting out from his arm. Another fire spell, his favorite. When he gets too involved though, too much, he becomes obsessive—obsessed with winning, obsessed with tripping her up, obsessed with outlasting her. The fury in how he builds his attacks is what makes Terra a dangerous opponent.

He’s perfect.

Aqua dodges and summons an ice spell to repel him, sweeping her kick so it spreads out. That’s the best strategy—tire him out, make him run after her, evade and exhaust, evade and exhaust, strike him when he’s almost done.

Pull. She hears. Pull from it.

One of his attacks breaks her barrier, and she grins, twirling while she heals herself. Every moment she stumbles is another opportunity to learn how to beat him. They’ll talk about their duel after they finish. They’ll gloss over technique and how to improve. Every time they spar, their bond is reforged, connected, strengthened, unbreakable.

Terra throws another blow.

Pull.

This one catches her off guard.

Aqua gasps and shields herself with her arm without a spell to protect her. Terra chokes on her name, too late to warn her.

A light explodes in her face, a flash of flower petals, a spell so instinctual she can’t articulate where it comes from. Her hand wraps around metal, as though an invisible hand has shoved it to her, strong but as light as her feet, a thrum deep underneath, a heartbeat. Its arrival blocks the attack with a barrier.

“A-Aqua?”

She holds her Keyblade in her hand.

“Huh.” Terra grimaces, stepping back.

The Keyblade is curved, striking at the tips, like a slice of movement. Blue and silver, a cool brush of a touch as chilling as snow on her fingertips but warm all the same, the feeling of a beloved embracing her. Aqua jumps in excitement, squealing. She had drawn images in her journal for what it would look like. This is better, much more beautiful.

“I don’t have a name for it, yet,” she says, laughing.

Terra doesn’t laugh with her. “Congrats,” he says, his enthusiasm on a chokehold, his hand rubbing his hip because it can’t find his pocket.

Oh. He’s two years older than her, the first child to come to the Land of Departure, and he can’t conjure his Keyblade yet.

“Terra?”

“I’m fine.” He’s not.

“Wait.” She follows him into the thicket. He’s speedwalking, trying to get away from her. “Don’t be sad. Yours will come soon.” He doesn’t slow down. “Maybe I can help.”

Terra scoffs, scorched. At least he stops. “Or maybe not.”

Aqua fiddles with the tip of her wonderful Keyblade, rolling it onto her palm. “I was thinking how happy I was sparring with you. We’re best friends and I was thinking that…” Heat pools into her cheeks. “I was thinking we’d be best friends forever. Then she came to me. I don’t know how to explain it.”

A muscle twitches in his jaw. “That’s nice.”

“I summoned mine in the middle of danger,” she offers. “Maybe you need the same.”

He arches a brow. But he softens, blinking back tears. “You think that would work?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know.”

“We could tie you down. I can cover you in ice.”

Terra’s face contorts, as if stopping a snort. “That’s the best you can offer?”

“Should I hang you by your toes and put leeches in your shirt?”

Terra cracks a smirk and she sighs, relieved.

Once he’s able to summon his own Keyblade, they could go home and declare the semester over. The Master will be so impressed.

Aqua calls for an ice spell to stay near. With the Keyblade, it’s much more natural, as if the chasm she normally has to pray through is now a step away. “I won’t hold back,” she warns.

Terra brings his fists together, heat simmering off his skin as a fire spell starts to build. “Good.”

He is the first to strike. Aqua dodges as the flames lick under her shoes, swinging her Keyblade forward. Ice sparks out from its tip and shoots forward in a straight line. It’s so much easier to aim now. Terra sways his hands into a cupping motion, as if picking up dirt into a bowl. Flames burst out of the ground, creating a wall that melts the ice before it hits him.

But Terra has a huge disadvantage: because she’s faster at summoning spells with the Keyblade, she can race around him, dodging everything he comes up with. He’s stuck in one spot, forced to place all his focus on bringing his magic to him in order to pull from it, the worst kind of exposure in a battlefield imaginable.

He wants this, doesn’t he? To be pushed into summoning it?

“Don’t hold back,” he says when she hesitates. He throws a burst of thunder at her.

“Terra, I don’t like this.”

“You promised,” Terra says, closing a fist. He takes several moments to meditate on a spell, and Aqua stops. He’s trying to summon ice, a weaker command for him. But Terra is smart and Terra is capable. He pushes what he’s conjured with a force strong enough to crush her into a tree.

She clicks her tongue when he follows that immediately with a fire spell. It nearly singes her hair, and she retaliates in kind—ten fold. Her fire hits him directly on the shoulder, sputtering onto the bush behind him, spreading like wings on the greenery, blackening the tree nearby and jumping to others.

“Aqua!” Terra grips his shoulder and gapes at the collateral, which is moving too fast to seem real.

“Terra, we have to—”

“Come on!”

Ignoring his injury, he scrambles towards the lake, Aqua following close behind. The forest fire beats heavy behind them, a nasty gray suffocating the sky. The heat molts onto them, the smoke thick and invasive, visibility covered by a layer of graininess. Terra throws himself into the lake and draws a circle on the surface with his good hand. The smoke is now black.

“You need to heal first,” Aqua says, coming up behind him and placing her hand on his shoulder, whispering a spell. Green petals kiss his charred shirt, and he can move his arm better, gathering the water into an invisible bowl to carry back.

Aqua does the same. She tries sealing the fire with her Keyblade so it stops spreading so far. So much work that seems like it’s doing nothing. So much earth that Terra is throwing onto the fire when the water sizzles away. Aqua almost collapses from the adrenaline keeping her standing, from the sweat and soot filling her eyes, from coughing but no matter how much, she can’t clear her throat.

The Master finally arrives and points his Keyblade into the sky. A storm cloud gathers, a wave of water to hush everything. Aqua doesn’t know what comes next, only that Terra is picking her up in his arms.

It isn’t until after she wakes up in the infirmary that she realizes what a shithole they’ve dug themselves into.

It’s raining, trickling down the small window that sits above the bed, behind the pillow. Wooden shelves line the walls, filled with potions that she can pronounce and ones that she can’t. Some are so expired the Master has never opened them. Flasks, beakers, needles, syringes, scalpels, gloves spread across the table. Medical books about the nervous system and the heart are plenty here. There should be two about herbal remedies, but they’re gone.

She hears the Master and Terra bickering on the other side of the door.

“Am I to believe,” the Master says, icy and sharp, “the day she summons her Keyblade for the first time and a sudden, devastating forest fire is to be simply spooned together as a coincidence?”

Terra is quiet at first. “No, Master.”

“Of course not,” he bites.

“I was angry, sir.” This shocks Aqua. “I couldn’t control my magic for a moment.”

That’s not true. He needs to say it was her fault. She didn’t know her own strength and she tried too hard—

The Master scoffs. “I am so disappointed,” he says, his voice shaking in a way she’s never heard before. “I do not have the words. I can’t bear to look at you.”

Her heart sinks. She can’t imagine. She can’t imagine how awful Terra must feel.

The door opens, and Terra slips inside with a gathering of fresh herbs in his hand. His face is ashen and pale. “How are you feeling?” he asks, his voice brittle. He’s about to sob.

Aqua moves and flinches. Her arm. “Ugh.”

“Don’t move.” He rips the leaves off and stuffs them into a mortar. “Your arm is badly burnt. The Master already healed you, but you need longer term care.” Somehow, he doesn’t cry.

Aqua pulls the sheet over her down. Red splotches trail from the shoulder down to the elbow. The Master took care of the severe scarring, but it hurts like she’s still in a pyre. “The fire?”

Terra sniffs and mixes the herbs with the pestle. “The Master took care of it. He hasn’t given me my punishment yet.” Briskly, he approaches her, spreading the concoction over her skin. “This should work better than a potion.”

“Our herb master,” she says, hoping it would make him smile. It doesn’t. Terra has dedicated himself to potion making and teas, considering that healing spells are hardest for him. When he finishes balming her in the mix, he reaches for bandages, holding her by the wrist so he can wrap the entire arm. “You shouldn’t move this for a while.”

“Terra?”

He doesn’t look at her, pinning the bandages in place.

“Thank you,” she says.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

Terra climbs into the bed with her. It’s a narrow cot, the mattress thin and overused, the sheets washed too many times that its threads fray. Terra holds her good hand, bringing it up between their faces. Tears roll down his cheeks and pool on the pillow. “You’re going to be okay,” he says, “right?”

“Yeah.” She smiles. The mix soothes the superficial burns but it takes its time relieving the stabbing pain that comes with such an intense injury. “Why didn’t you tell him the truth?”

Terra frowns, staring at the folds of the pillow under his face. “I didn’t want him yelling at you.”

“I’ll tell him tomorrow—”

“Nah.” He wills a smirk and it looks fake. “We should… celebrate your accomplishment, you know?”

For some reason, it makes her guilty. “Are you really that mad at me?”

“What? No.” He bites his lip. “No, I just… I’m stupid.”

Aqua stares at him. “You’re not.”

He scoffs. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t fail at the most basic part of being a wielder.”

“Your Keyblade?”

He shakes his head. It’s not fair.

“Why didn’t it come?”

“I don’t know.” He sighs.

Aqua gives his hand a light squeeze. “Maybe I was wrong.”

“Pssh. Maybe?” He grins.

She would hit him on the shoulder, but she hurts too much. “Maybe my approach isn’t your approach.”

“Meaning what?”

“Maybe your Light needs something different.”

His smile falls, like that of a lost and abandoned child. “But I don’t know what it wants from me.”

“Hmmm.” Aqua thinks hard, staring at the way his eyebrows furrow as he thinks with her. “You like to protect.”

“Okay?”

“Maybe your Keyblade isn’t about connecting with others or making friends like mine is. Maybe you’re happiest protecting and taking care of them.”

Terra purses his lips, blushing. “I guess.”

“Look.” She lifts her bandaged elbow, wincing. “You took care of me.”

“I took care of a sap.”

“Who was the one crying over me?”

“My secret evil twin. He wants to make me look bad.”

“What kind of a joke is that?” She sticks her tongue out. “Sometimes, I hate your face.”

Terra laughs for real this time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BEFORE THE EXAM

The books she needs are not where they’re supposed to be on the shelf.

“Terra!” she calls.

“Shhh,” she hears from the other side. Terra is sitting on one of the numerous tables in the library, a long, five-story ballroom with windows for walls, the ceiling a skylight. It allows for the sun to beam on them from all directions, on ornate gold-plated shelves with ladders on wheels for the books out of reach. Of all the desks he could have chosen, figures he’d be right here where she’s frantically searching, just to spite her. “We’re in a library,” he says, voice low.

Aqua refuses to whisper. “We’re the only ones here.”

“How rude.”

“To who?”

Terra gestures to the open book splayed under his hand. “I’m reading.”

He has seven other books stacked next to his parchment and pen. Preliminaries start tomorrow—the preliminaries that would determine their eligibility for the Mark of Mastery next year—and essays are due.

On top of the stack is Darkness and the War for Light, right above The Stars As Your Guides and the ever-necessary Affairs of the Heart.

“I need those,” she says.

“You know the rules—”

“They’re arbitrary.”

“—first dibs, first reads.”

“You can’t read them all at once.”

“Watch me, I’m impressive.” Terra bites his lip to restrain a snort, those deep eyes waiting for her reaction, his strong cheekbones suspended in a smirk. She wants to punch him in the face.

Aqua exhales. Without saying a word, she snatches the book at the top of the stack before he could stop her, bolting for the other side of the table. Terra scrambles out of his chair, tackling her from her behind so he could yank it out of her arms. She’s laughing under the weight of his chest, heat rising to her cheeks.

“You’ll have to fight me for it,” she warns.

Terra snorts, his breath brushing her shoulder. “Really?” He grips the book and pulls. He’s stronger than her and they both know it.

The trick to defeating an opponent so much larger than you is to hit them at their most exposed. Aqua elbows him in the gut, and leaves Terra clutching his side so she could take a seat at the table, where her own unfinished essay awaits.

“I guess that’s fair,” he groans.

“You sought a challenge, so accept your defeat.”

Aqua flips pages of Darkness—this year, it was especially important that they recognize signs of Darkness lurking near. Rage, scheming, impure intentions, greed, selfishness, fear. They’re present in subtle ways. Sometimes people act without realizing. Sometimes people are fully aware. Both are dangerous.

She grunts when she’s shoved over.

Terra brings his parchment with him when he fills her seat, his hips so wide that she’s left with the corner.

“It could be more comfortable,” he complains. His body is warm.

“What are you doing?”

“Writing my essay, but you took my book.”

The one he wasn’t using. Aqua inhales. “Terra—”

“I had first dibs. You broke the honor code, so you left me with no choice.” He smirks. His face is nose to nose with hers, and she imagines closing the gap. “We can share.”

“Fine,” she musters, averting her gaze. It’s awkward staring at him when his eyes look like they’re about to swallow hers.

They work. The book sits between their respective essays, the scratch of pen on paper the only noise filling the room, especially when he strikes long lines across words he no longer wants. He leans over her shoulder to read, his breath heavy on her cheek. If they were in different places, if he had her in an embrace, she could probably feel for his heartbeat.

Though this isn’t something she should be thinking about right now, not when she’s trying to read the three tenants in combating the Darkness. Vow Number One: Do not give yourself to Temptation.

“You’re very distracting,” he says, his voice so close to her ear that it sounds like yelling.

She jumps. He took the words right out of her mouth. “Speak for yourself. You’re too big for this chair.”

“There’s one right next to you.” She could hear how much he loves this.

“I sat here first.”

He leans back and wraps his arm around the backrest. “I have to defend my space.”

“Then you can squirm.”

He huffs, and it suspiciously sounds like he’s pleased with that. Aqua reads a sentence, scans the current page, and flips to the next one.

Terra swats her hand and turns it back. “I wasn’t finished with that one.”

Aqua would scream if she already didn’t enjoy this. She’ll never admit that out loud. “So you’re just,” she starts slowly, “going to police how fast I read this book?”

“Depends on where I am.”

“You’re slowing me down.”

“You’re not being considerate.”

“I can do the same thing.” She flips the page back to her spot.

“Aqua,” he warns.

“Oh, you didn’t like that?” Aqua smirks at him.

He eyes her and smiles. “You make me want to scream.”

Like a mind reader. “Don’t forget—we’re in a library.”

“Okay.” He pulls the book closer to him.

“Okay.” She pulls it back.

Terra strengthens his grip on the book, leaning forward and wrapping his other arm around her waist. To use her as a counter-weight, to push off of her so he can claim the prize, Aqua knows this, but her heart jumps at the touch. He drives her crazy in the most delicious way. He’s addictive.

“Nice to see my students finding some time for leisure,” the Master’s voice says, approaching them from the entrance. “A healthy activity during such a time of stress, if I do say so myself. I commend the both of you.”

Aqua doesn’t know about healthy when she’s thinking about all manners of touching. Terra slips away from her. Is the Master being facetious? Should they move to different chairs? Or would that make them look more guilty?

“Terra is deliberately sabotaging my essay,” Aqua says, voice shaky, her sleeve coming up to cover her blush. Terra has his elbows on the table, both of his fists hiding the lower half of his face.

Eraqus tucks a binder under his arm, glancing over their work. Aqua isn’t sure if she’s seeing things, but she swears that’s a smirk underneath his moustache.

“Well,” he says. “These will be the last essays you will write, if everything runs smoothly tomorrow. Quite a reward for all these years of hard work, yes?”

Terra and Aqua nod.

Eraqus nods along with them, as awkward as the collapse of clothes leaving you naked. “Don’t work too hard,” he advises, and Aqua wants to melt under the table. “Tomorrow will come regardless. Enjoy the time when it is good.”

The Master leaves the library with a different atmosphere.

“Last essay ever,” Terra repeats, mumbling to himself. He’s frowning. They don’t make a move to a different chair, as if doing so would have admitted some secret neither of them even know but nevertheless, they don’t want anyone else to find out. “Then there’s next year.”

Next year.

Some of Terra’s pages have whole paragraphs crossed out. Maybe that’s why he’s better than her at essay-writing. He goes beyond. He’ll scrub out parts he’s already written when he realizes they no longer serve him, drenched in ink blots when he notices small errors. Even with a complete essay, Terra will rewrite it from scratch, to prepare clean pages with no mistakes. Aqua doesn’t consider herself lazy with essays. She just never had a difficult time writing something the Master will want to read.

But all the effort Terra puts into his work means that he considers angles she’s never thought of before. On the subject of Darkness and Temptation, Terra writes: The Master of Masters writes of Temptation: “To tempt a snake for its loyalty reaps safety in the future,” (Affairs of the Heart, pg. 236). Giving in to Temptation when a Light is about to expire harbors selfishness, and that beacons the Darkness to cloud our minds. If we are doubtful, we too welcome the Darkness. However, if we deny the very thing our Hearts want, when we should be following Them as our closest allies, then we are unable to persevere. I question whether Temptation can only have negative connotations. Our duty is to make sure the Light is in balance, and perseverance is key. How are we supposed to keep the Light bright if ours are too dim? Should we not enjoy our own lives as we see fit, follow our Hearts to bring us fulfillment? Should we not make love, or enjoy the dessert we bake? These trivialities are the very thing people hold dear and protect. It is not our calling to enjoy them, but if we are, then our Hearts are at peace. If happiness is shared, then it is Light worth protecting, even our own. It feeds our strength.

Aqua can’t write like that.

Tomorrow, they’ll spar under the Master’s scrutiny. If they pass, they’ll do it again next year and finish their studies once and for all. Ever since Terra conjured his Keyblade, he’s treated his fights like he’s a bulldozer. Tricky to outmaneuver, keeping her on her toes.

He’s still the best sparring partner she could ask for, the best teacher when it comes to outlasting opponents. Her only equal.

“I’m nowhere near finished,” Aqua says.

“Looks like we’re both pulling all-nighters tonight.”

Aqua sighs, and this prompts Terra to hold her hand under the table, interlacing their fingers together. She wants to curl into him, feel what it’s like to really hold him close.

“We’re going to do fine.” Terra says, his voice soft, but he’s so close he fills her mind and every sensation in her body. He rubs her thumb with his.

“All-nighters aren’t pleasant,” she says, thinking ahead to a yard of headaches and yawns. “We’ll need energy.” This is the first opportunity to stand up. “I can make coffee and tea for us.”

“And lots of food.” Terra stands with her. “Protein. Nuts are good for energy boosts. I can make us enough meals to sustain us for the rest of the night.”

They’re speaking with the intention to leave something behind that they don’t want to address, packaging their words away from the obvious. Aqua fiddles with her fingers.

Terra moves his essay over. “Maybe we should work on opposite ends of the table,” he says, clearing his throat. His voice is shy.

“So we can focus.”

“Yeah.” He sounds desperate to agree but also…disappointed? “You can take the book. For now. Consider it my peace offering.”

“It wasn’t an honorable battle to begin with.” She moves hers over too, measuring in her mind how big of a feast they’d fill the table with. They’ll need more, enough for Ven to pig out every once in a while.

“Says the cheater.”

“You were the one stealing my book!”

“You broke the rules.”

“It wasn’t a fair setup.”

“Aqua, I’m shocked.” Terra feigns displeasure, holding his hand over his heart. “I thought I knew you better.”

She groans. She hates his beautiful, impeccable face sometimes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

THEN...

The conversation is a combustion she can’t prevent from happening. It isn’t supposed to be this way.

“And what is this dangerous task, Terra?” she asks, refusing to believe he’d test the teachings they both held so dear. After all these years. That he’d squander his chances at convincing Eraqus to give him the Mark of Mastery. “It doesn’t sound like what the Master told you to do.”

“It might be a different route, but I’m fighting the Darkness.”

“I’m not so sure. I’ve been to the same worlds as you and I’ve seen what you’ve done. You shouldn’t put yourself so close to the Darkness.”

Ven interjects. “Listen to yourself, Aqua. Terra would never—”

“You mean you’ve been spying on me?” Terra says, his eyes narrowing. To see his beautiful face this hurt—stars, she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She should shut up. “Is that what he said to do? The Master’s orders?”

What is she to do? What else does he expect? “He was only…”

Quietly, he says, “I get it,” like the silence in a coffin.

“Terra—”

“Just stay put! I’m on my own now, all right?”

“Terra, please! Listen! The Master has no reason to distrust you, really! He was just worried.”

Her words fall on deaf ears. Terra is not like this, he’s never like this, turning his back, walking away, leaving her to stand and watch him go.

“Why?” Ven asks her. “Why would you do this? You’re letting this whole Master thing get to your head.”

Terra has never said that about her, even when pushed. They’ve been pushed and pushed, how is she supposed to mend the tear now?

“I’ll be right back.”

“He’s really pissed.”

“Stay here.”

“I won’t.”

Aqua stops. A lot is changing and she can’t keep up. “But Ven—”

Ven purses his lips. “I’ll give you guys some time alone. Then I’m going after him.”

Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be. She is the odd one out, the one that shouldn’t follow Terra, the one that broke some sort of code by choosing to side with the Master. They should be on the same side.

“Be safe, please?”

Ven nods, but he isn’t happy about it.

Aqua crosses the alleyway, opening an ornate gate that leads into the town square. Radiant Garden is pretty; they arrived just in time for spring, where the dandelions are yellow and the town is painted in herbal colors. But Aqua can’t get herself to enjoy the view. She can’t appreciate the architecture, the castle, the clock tower, the townsfolk selling their wares, the gentle sunset, not when her heart is collapsing into a growing, weighted pit. Nothing else and no one else exists in the seconds she dashes down the streets.

“Terra!”

He’s heading towards the city gates, where she assumes he’ll summon his glider and fly away.

Aqua speeds up as fast as she can, feeling she’s still too slow. He’s about to disappear if she can’t break her bones and fly. She grabs him by the shoulder. “Terra, please. I don’t want the conversation to end the way it did.”

“Aqua,” he grunts, stepping out of her touch and crossing his arms. “Not now, okay?”

He’s about to turn on her. Don’t let this be the last image she sees.

She hugs him by his waist and buries her face into his shoulder. “Please don’t leave.”

He tenses.

“Please?”

She doesn’t know what to say. Apologize? For doing what’s expected of her? Shouldn’t he know this?

Shouldn’t she understand on some level, after all these years, that sometimes Terra is way more important than her duties? That she should stand up for him when it’s called for?

When Terra finally wraps his arms around her, she squeezes him tighter, hoping the loss of words would translate. How many minutes does she have left before she has to let go?

Terra splayes his hand on her back, as if to prompt her to loosen up. “I need to go.”

“There’s so much we need to talk about.” Why is her heart pounding this hard?

“I don’t want to talk about anything.”

“I feel so awful for what I’ve said.”

Terra doesn’t reply.

Aqua doesn’t know what’s gotten into her, why she can’t trust in anything, let alone the faith that their bond is unbreakable when she is witnessing how it’s cracking under the pressure. She grabs his face and kisses him, the taste of his mouth unique, warm, sweet, more than she hoped for.

Terra seizes her when he kisses back. He wants another. And another. He grunts.

They part for breath, too exposed and in public. Terra takes her aside, into a shadowed alley between a house and the city wall, pushing her against the brick to kiss her harder. She locks his neck in her arms and pulls him in. He’s so enveloped in her lips and he’s so angry, his teeth sliding and nipping barely on her skin like he’s fighting to win, his pelvis on hers, his chest pressing her, squeezing her breath away. She doesn’t want him to let her go.

He pulls away, his touch slacked. Heavy in breath, lips swollen, eyes watery, he trembles as if he’s done something awful. Aqua has her hand on his chest right over his heart, where it thrums quick and strong. He’s strong, he’s always been. She has to believe that.

“I don’t compare to you,” he croaks.

Fear churns in Aqua’s stomach, and she reaches for his wrist. “You do. You—” She doesn’t know what to say. “You shouldn’t think that way.”

Terra pulls from her, snapping their connection, leaving it cold where he was warm. It hurts. “I have to do this alone.”

“Terra—”

“Master Aqua,” he says, and her heart drops. “Please, respect my wishes. This is something I need to do if I’m ever going to—” He doesn’t finish. Instead, he turns over his shoulder, the crown of his dark hair glistening in the light of the sun where he disappears past the city gates. He doesn’t come back.

Aqua wraps her arms around herself, caressing the warmth he left behind for as long as possible before it inevitably leaves her too. She wonders if there is meaning in what just happened, wonders what he’s telling himself that would set him down this path. She’s scared of what will happen if she follows him.

She has to follow him. She has to make sure he’s alright. She prays he makes the right decisions, that they won’t have to fight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

NOW

At night, the library is surrounded by stars. Twelve years in the Realm of Darkness and Aqua has forgotten that the library is all windows, bookshelves suspended in a birdcage on the side of the castle. It’s drizzling, droplets appearing at random, with none of the weight to drip down the glass. The lights are off, a glow polluting in from the hallway.

Terra is here, lying on a gold and white couch, the stand ornate and the cushions embroidered.

“Welcome to the insomnia party,” he says.

Aqua sits by his ankles. Terra rests his head on his arms, and lets go of the stars above the storm clouds to watch her. He leans up on one elbow and offers her a smile, but it’s a mimic of one. Who knows the reason why he can’t sleep. She won’t ask.

“Can we,” she starts, bringing her knees to her chin. “Talk?”

“We are.”

On the spot, Aqua blanks. “I don’t know where to start.”

He scoffs and unhooks his elbow, plopping back on the cushion. “Pick a place. We’ll get lost together and have to backtrack anyway.” He sighs, rolling his head towards the floor. “I can’t look at any of these books the same way again.”

Five stories of them, and not a single explanation for what happened.

“When it got tough and I needed to rely on my knowledge,” Aqua says, counting words on her essays over the years: 20,000. “I found that none of it could help us.”

“I’ve had questions ever since I started my apprenticeship,” Terra says, staring at the glass ceiling. “Many of them are still unanswered. What was the point?”

“None of it was relevant in the Realm of Darkness.”

Terra rolls over into a fetal position, burrowing his face into his arms. “So what did help?”

“Thinking of you and Ven.” The thought right now makes her smile, a little thing, a blink in the darkness.

“I thought of you every day,” he says, morosely, shyly, with a speck of hope and a mix of self-awareness. After twelve years, Aqua still knows him so well and she’s grateful he’s (almost) the same Terra she came home to.

The thought of that chokes her. “I didn’t want it to be this way,” she says. “Any of it.”

“None of us did.”

“I meant…” She pauses, watching closely. The outline of his shoulders, the shape of his brow. They’re furrowed. “Our dream was to become Masters together.”

His shoulders tick. “I should have congratulated you.”

“What?”

“When you were titled Master. I didn’t congratulate you. I’m sorry for being self-centered.”

After twelve years, that’s the last thing in her mind. “I was thinking of withdrawing the title.”

Terra shoots up, face to face with her. “Why?”

“Like I said,” Aqua whispers, now that he’s so close. “Our dream was to be Masters together.”

“No way.”

“You’re quite passionate about this.” Aqua rubs her knee. A nervous habit, something for her body to do. It used to be natural to hold his hand.

Terra slaps his forehead. “I can’t let you do that. Not after all the work you’ve done.”

“You’ve worked hard, too.”

“And everything you’ve survived.”

“What you did was not survival?”

Terra gapes. “I don’t know, but I need to own my mistakes. I should have accepted my setbacks and my weaknesses…I wasn’t a good friend to you.”

Aqua sighs. “Don’t tell me you don’t deserve it.”

“I don’t want to think about what I deserve. I only know that you deserve better.”

Deserving and not deserving sound like arbitrary definitions, markers of work ethic and integrity when everyone deserves peace of mind. “Then it sounds like you need to work really hard in the next couple of weeks.”

He blinks at her sudden change of tone. “Doing what?”

“Passing the Mark of Mastery.” She looks at her knee. “If you want me to keep my title, you have to pass.”

“You’re keeping your title regardless.”

“Pass and become Master with me.”

“Aqua,” he warns.

“That is the only condition.”

Terra leans his elbow on the backrest, and laughs into his hand. Laughs. It’s a weak and unpracticed song. She forgot what it sounded like. “You drive me crazy,” he says, “but it makes me so happy.”

She swallows. “I’ll contact Yen Sid to schedule the date.”

“Don’t get cheeky. You haven’t won this conversation.”

“Yes, I have.”

When the chuckles shared between them fade out, Terra studies her face, starting at the tip of her forehead, running his eyes down her nose and lips. The quiet is unwelcome.

“Do I look different?” Aqua asks.

“Not really.” He blinks, and it’s too dark to tell if he’s staring into her eyes. “You don’t smile like you used to. It’s like you’ve dimmed the lantern.”

“I can say the same about you,” she says. He’s tired, leaning on the couch like he can’t sit up on his own. He needs effort to speak. When he smiles, they’re delayed, as though he’s lost and needs to be reminded that he lives in reality now. He’s still beautiful. Terra doesn’t ask her to elaborate, but she supposes he understands exactly what she means. She supposes it’s the same for her.

Terra takes her hand and pulls it closer to him. “I do feel better with you around.”

Aqua grips the fabric of her stocking. “The last real conversation we had shouldn’t have been a fight.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Oh.” She holds her breath. “Wait, I shouldn’t be sorry for the fight or…” The kiss? She can’t bring herself to ask.

Terra smiles into his knuckles, and a spark of flame ignites his eyes. That’s what it is. Their hearts are tired. No book in the library can teach them how to bring them back to life. How to give it an ounce of oxygen to fan the warmth. Or how to provide a touch of oil, a passionate something to make it burst and remind them what it’s like to really want to hold a Keyblade. Aqua wonders if Terra’s essay on the subject is somewhere in the Master’s old office.

“You know what, I’m sorry,” Terra says, stroking his thumb on the back of her hand. “For that stupid fight. For being stupid enough to have issues with you being Master and for leaving. For being incredibly stupid for not staying in Radiant Garden with you and Ven.” He giggles again.

“Why is that funny?”

“I should have stayed and kissed you longer.” He blinks back tears, inhaling sharply in shock of what he just said. “I guess I needed to get that off my chest.”

Aqua snorts and brings a hand to her cheek. “Yeah, you should have stayed and kissed me longer.”

They say nothing else. Terra takes her face into his large hands and brings her to him, lips to lips, warmth on warmth, chest to chest, heart to heart. He breathes into her, pulling her waist in so she could lie next to him, his heartbeat loud and clear, eager and anxious. A fire grows inside her stomach—she’s forgotten she’s ever felt like this before, years ago when they’ve touched and never went further. It’s invigorating, it’s relaxing. Not a blaze born out of excitement but a gentle hearth, something more than a flicker of the flame in a lantern. Alive.

He mumbles into her ear. “By the way, I have every intention of being the better kisser.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just so you know.”

“We’re really going to be doing this with the kissing?”

“Doing what?”

“What we’ve always done.”

“There’s no contest here.”

“But you want to be the best kisser.”

“I will be the best kisser.” He smiles, digging his nose into her hair. “I must be good enough for you to enjoy it. Therefore, naturally, I have to aspire to be really damn good. That’s all.”

Aqua giggles into his chin, soft and careful and excited when his arm curls around her waist, squeezing her into him. She loves that he laughs with her. She loves his beautiful, cocky face.

They exchange small words in between, a gasp of surprises, whispers about old memories, requests for what she wants, for what he wants. Two wicks to a single candle, held gently between their hands.

#terraqua #terraqua week #aqua #terra #eraqus #OMG I REALLY LOVE THIS ONE #I hope you all too ;-;#my fic

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visit-ba-sing-se · 3 years

Text

My dreams are broken (but my promises I keep)

“I see so much pain, cruelty and grief. I see so many lives tossed way. And there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing but watch. And shine my light on them, hoping that they feel I am there.” My humble contribution to the last day of @yuekiweek, a fic for the prompt moon in which Yue and Suki talk a lot and feel less lonely afterwards.

Even the sky was empty tonight. Suki was sitting on the hard floor of her cell, looking up to the small window. She had been trying to meditate, but the only thing she had archived so far was feeling even worse than before. “You know, I like it better when I can see you,“ she said into the heavy silence, still staring upward. “It makes me feel a bit less alone. And I am very, very lonely right now.“

Suki shook her head. Probably this was it. She was finally going insane. Talking to the moon. Or, more likely, herself. She did not even know which option was worse. She had been trying so hard for so long to keep herself together. She had forced herself to train every day since she knew that it would help her focus, but it had gotten harder and harder to tell what exactly she was training for. In the beginning, of course she had though about breaking out a lot. Made plan after plan, went through possibility after possibility in her head. Only to then damn each of them inoperable. It was not that she minded a risk, but the longer her imprisonment here lasted, the clearer it had become to her that the only way out would be a way into death. And she was not ready to die. Not yet. And then there was this small part of her that still hoped her friends would somehow come and help her break out from here. It was unrealistic, but she had to hold onto it. Even though that got harder with every passing day. Not because she was doubting them, but they did not even know she was here. Also, they probably had way bigger problems themselves. If they were even still alive. Suki had heard that Ba Sing Se had fallen to the fire nation. All the guards had been drunk that day from celebrating. Even the warden had displayed something that could have been called “a good mood.“ And there had been even worse rumors. Normally, Suki was quite good at shutting them out of her conscious. But now, in this strange moonless night, they started creeping back in with a force that they had never had before. “You know, it gets lonely at the sky as well sometimes.“ Suki jumped up instantly, moving into a fighting stance without any conscious thought. She did not even know who she had been expecting to see in front her, but all expectations would have been proven wrong anyway. In front of her stood the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Only that she was not standing there but…hovering slightly above the floorAnd she seemed to be glowing. Suki had never seen a spirit before, but she was convinced that either she was doing so now, or had started having visions. Could it be…“Yue?“

“It is a pleasure to finally meet you Suki.“ The girl, if you could even call her a girl given the fact that she was a spirit, smiled. “I had wondered if you would recognize me.“ ”Oh, Sokka told me about you. I mean, he told me about a princess from the north who he was supposed to protect. But who gave up her life as human to save her people. And became the moon spirit.“ Suki knew that she was talking too fast, and that she definitely was not saying the right things. Not only was this very unusual for her, she also had no idea how to stop. “And the sky was empty tonight. So I figured that if I have a visitor who is very obviously a spirit due to floating and and shining in a white light, it should be you,“ she therefore continued, and then quickly added: “And I am very happy to meet you too. I just wasn’t aware you could-….“ “Leave the sky?“ Luckily, Yue was still smiling. In order to avoid saying anything that could change that, Suki simply nodded. “I did not know either, but it seems that during new moon, I can.“ She shrugged. “I am still learning a lot about my role, but also my abilities. It is not like anyone or anything prepares you for this.“ Her face changed as she continued, now with a certain sadness in her eyes and voice. “But I guess that is true for the most of us. No one prepared Aang to be the Avatar and fight the firelord either, but he is doing it as well.” Despite her serious words, Suki felt something warm growing in her chest. She told herself to not give into it to quickly, but just could not help it. “He is? So he Is alive?“, she blurted out, both afraid of and desperately needing the answer „I heard that Ba Sing Se was taken. And the rumor that Aang…“ Suki could not get herself to finish the sentence. She could not say that, not even in theory. But Yue did not need to hear the words to know what she meant anyway. “You are right that Ba Sag Se fell, but Aang is alive, and so is the rest.“ A small hint of her pretty smile returned. “And Appa is with them again, not least thanks to you.“ “Good. That is very….very good.“ Suki knew that good was a way to weak word to describe what she felt. It was as if a bit of the weight on her lungs had finally been lifted, so much that she could breath again. Of course it was not gone. The war was still there. She and her girls were still in prison. But now, there also was hope again. And the knowledge that it had not been all for nothing. “You know that because you are watching them from above, right?, she asked, with small part of her mind still skeptical. What if Yue was just saying this to make her feel better? “Yes. I can see everything my light reaches.“ “Wow. For someone who spends her day seeing walls and has to trust whatever gossip the guards exchange for news, that sound like a dream. “Yue took a while to respond, long enough to make Suki regret her words. “Yes, it is. In some way.“ She finally said. “In another, it is a curse.“ “A curse?“ “Yes.“ There was such pain in Yue`s eyes as she spoke that Suki wished she could cross the distance between them and embrace her. But she just stood there and listened as Yue continued: “It is not like there are only nice things to see right now. I do not think I have to tell you what the fire nation brought upon this world, you have seen plenty examples yourself.“ Of course Suki knew what she was talking about. A picture of her own home came to her mind. How it had looked after prince Zuko of the fire nation had paid it a visit. “I see villages burning in the night. I see lines of smoke I see mothers crying over their children and children begging their parents to wake up, not yet understanding that they won’t ever do that again. I see so much pain, cruelty and grief. I see so many lives tossed way. And there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing but watch. And shine my light on them, hoping that they feel I am there with them.“ Something else lit up in Yue`s eyes. Determination. Suki could not help but admire her. “Because that is what I owe them, and that is what I do. I see. I remember. I make sure no one dies alone, and no one is forgotten.“ And no one would forgotten. Suki had wondered about when the whole world would have forgotten about her here in this prison more than she ever would want to admit, but now she knew the answer. And she had gotten it without even asking. “Of course, I then also just see ordinary people sing ordinary things and all their tiny joys. And most of the time, I am happy for them. But sometimes…sometimes I just wish I was one of the again.“ Yue looked down onto her hands. It seemed like she wanted to say something else, but wasn’t sure if she should. Suki decide to take a shot in the dark and asked: “What do you miss the most? About being human I mean?“ Yue looked up at her again, and from her face and the speed of her reply Suki could tell that she had asked the right question. “Well. My family of course. And my best friend. And eating my mother seaweed soup.“ She chuckled, a sound that reminded Suki of the flowing rivers in spring at home. “And many more of those tiny things that you just take for granted as long as your have them.“ Yue looked down at her hands again. “And then, I also miss the things I never had in first place. The things that I could have done, but didn’t.“ She sighed. “I kind of regret that I always did what I was supposed to do. I know it sounds strange, but I tried so hard to be a good princess for my tribe. I studied, I followed protocol, I even was going to marry a man I did not love. Of course, I did those things because I wanted to do them. I love my tribe. But I just never saw the other side of it all. That was least until Aang, Katara and Sokka arrived” . For a moment, Yue seemed to be lost in her memories, and Suki waited patiently for her to continue. “Katara had so much strength and righteous anger, and she just challenged everyone and everything with no hesitation. She impressed me by a lot. And Sokka was just…Sokka. He funny and smart and just..cared about me. As person. Not as a princess. I enjoyed spending time with him a lot, and it left some impact on me. Even though he seemed to be completely blind for social conventions or protocol. Or rather especially because go that.“ She chuckled again, and Suki now was convinced that hers had to be one of the most beautiful chuckles in the world. “ Do you know how he asked me on a date?“ “No, how?“ “He asked if“ Yue paused, obviously fighting the urge to laugh, “if I would want to do an activity together“ Suki could not help but laugh. That really was a classic Sokka. Yue joined her in, and for a moment, things felt alright. For a very small moment, of course. Until Yue continued, again in a more serious voice: §And then, just when I was starting to experience this side of life, I was ripped away from it all. I am sorry, I am sounding completely self absorbed now.“ “No, I absolutely know what you mean.“ Suki protested, and it was the truth. “I was training to be a Kyoshi warrior since I was 8, and I have been their leader now for quite some times. Of course I take pride in that, and I love teaching the other girls and all of us supporting each other. And I believe that our cause, to protect our home and everyone else who cannot protect themselves from violence and injustice is the most important one there is.“ She took a deep breath. What she was about to say was something she had never told anyone before. No one at home. None of her new friends. Not even Sokka. But she felt that now was the moment to do so. “Still, I have always had a secret list of things that I told myself I would once the war was over. Other girls from my town went out to dance while I worked on perfecting a move. I handed out food in a refugee camps instead of spending my afternoon in a teashop with friends. And I told myself that, once the work was done, once I had did my duty, once the war was over, I would do all those things as well. And now I am trapped here in this prison, not knowing if I will ever see anything else but brickwalls again.“ Suki looked Yue in the eyes and saw that she understood. And it felt so good to tell someone who did. “Not that I regret any of my choices. I just wish I would not have had to make them. I do not mind being a warrior. I just wish I had had a bit more time to be a girl, too.“

“Don’t talk like that.“ Yue had taken a step toward her, raising her right hand and looking determined. “You will have that time to do that. You will get out of here,“ she said in a voice that did not allow any protest. “Say it,“ she then demanded as Suki remained quiet.

“What?“ “Say: I will make it out of here.“ Suki wondered if Yue was joking, but everything about her attitude spoke against that. She decided to do her the favor, even if she knew that the opposite was way more likely. “I will make it out of here.“ The words tasted strange in her mouth. But, in a way she did not understand, saying them made them more real. And not just saying them, but saying them to someone. Someone who would care if she would stick to them or not. “I will make it out of here,“ she said again, this time with a firmer voice. Somehow, that felt good.Yue nodded and smiled a smile that alone would be enough to light up the sky not only during night, but also day. “And then you would have to visit the north! You have to see our spirit festival.“ Even though Suki would have believed it to be impossible, her smile got even brighter. ”And our food is good, too! You can ask Sokka about that.“ “You know, I will visit the north. But only if you meet me there.“ Suki grinned, around of her now idea. “Aang told me about the spirt Oasis.“ Yue looked first surprised, than happy. “That sounds like plan.“ “So we have a deal?“ “We have a deal.“ One more small moment that Suki just wished she could capture. And that ended way to fast. “But now, I am afraid that I cannot stay much longer. And you need sleep.“ “Can’t you stay a bit longer? Just a little?“ Suki knew that Yue couldn’t. But sometimes the things you knew and the things you wanted to realize were very far away from each other. Yue shook her head, and Suki could see in her eyes that she wanted to leave as little as she wanted to let her go. Suki told herself to cut it. She was only making things harder fro the both of them. “You are probably right. I just do not want to be so alone“ “I understand that. I do. But Suki, I am with you, always. Even you can’t see me. Please remember that.“ “Yue reached out, and Suki could nearly feel the hand on her shoulder. She wanted to close her own hand around it, knowing very well that that would be impossible. And even if it was, she did not even know if Yue would like that. Instead she just sat there, wishing that this moment would last, while the same time knowing that it would not. “Will you still come back?“, she finally asked, more afraid of the answer than she wanted to admit. “I will. The next time I can leave the sky.“ “Promise?“ “I promise. Now sleep well.“ Suki nearly would have said „you too“, but caught herself quick enough. She wanted to think of something else to say. Something meaningful. But then, in the blink of an eye, her cell was already empty again.

Only that it was not the same, hostile emptiness from before. It was still filled with Yue`s presence, her words were still hanging in the air. “I am with you, always“, she had said. And Suki believed her. btw it is on ao3, too! (maybe küddos? böökmarks?)

#yueki week #avatar yue #suki #yue #yueki #avatar #Avatar The Last Airbender #avatar fanfiction #please give this some love I worked hard #there is no self indulgence in ba sing se #my writing #also from now on I am gone till next week Monday #if you see me no you did not #still if you better ideas for the title I am being you to tell them #and es I listened to the moonlight sonata writing this #yuekiweek #yuekiweek 2020

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spartanxhunterx · 4 years

Text

Bug And Shell(d): Late night run

Nino's fingers clicked away at his mouse and keyboard, headphones perched atop his head as he listened to one of his soundtracks while he was organising other soundtracks and mixes on his computer.

It was late, very late, judging by the moonlight that was leaking its way between the curtains, attempting to illuminate the areas in which his computer screen could not.

Despite the time, he wasn't tired.

No, he was anxious, nervous. His mind was running a hundred miles and hour. Thought after thought racked through his brain, repeating what memories he had of the fight with Dark Cupid, with Kim, and lady Wi-Fi.

Valentine's day had been just a few days ago, while it had been quiet since then, he couldn't help but feel like he was missing something. Ladybug had told him what had happened of course, how could she not?

He, Carapace, had fallen victim to an Akuma's power and had been turned against Ladybug, his partner. Pushing his glasses up Nino pinched the bridge of his nose, knuckles pressing into his eyes slightly, before sighing and collapsing back in his chair.

Wayzz would probably point out that he had fallen prey to Lady Wi-Fi too but that was different in it's own way. When it came to Alya's akumatization he wasn't under her control, just... Stuck and he had been protecting Ladybug unlike with Dark Cupid where he had gone against her.

He was her protector, Not her assailant.

How much harder had he made that Akuma? How many innocent people got hurt because Ladybug was dealing with him? How badly could it have ended if Ladybug hadn't found some way to free him from the Akuma?

He was greatful for whatever she did, even if that was the one detail she wouldn't tell him. But he didn't want to put her in that situation ever again, had to fight by her side... Always.

Sitting up properly Nino reached out to pull his Mug of Tea towards him, bringing it up to his lips slowly to savour the taste.

Ever since he had almost been akumatised Wayzz had suggested he take up several calming routines. Breathing exercises were one such thing, Meditation another and even calming herbal teas like Chamomile and lavender.

Although he had only used them once since getting them, tonight being the second, he could tell how useful they were. They helped him to relax his muscles and the warmth in his stomach was quite welcome.

But tea could only help so much to ease his nerves, he needed something else to take his mind off it all. Something to drain his excess energy without possibly waking everyone up.

But it's not like he could just begin doing push ups on his floor now could he?

Sighing he put his Mug back down, setting it near Wayzz, Who was taking his time to eat through the bowl of chopped fruit as he relaxed near him.

"Something on your mind?... Dude?" Nino snorted humorously at Wayzz' attempt to use modern slang as he removed his headphones. Not that he did it badly, just that he sounded so uncertain of himself that It was almost comical.

"Well... Sort of little dude." He gently rubbed Wayzz' head, being mindful of his antenna. "Just... Dark Cupid, or at least the thought that I could have made that a lot worse then it was."But

" But you didn't, Ladybug fixed it all in the end. "

He sighed, moving his fingers to rest on Wayzz' shell. "It's not that simple Dude. What if Ladybug hadn't won? hadn't fixed me? What if I took her miraculous?" He waited a moment for Wayzz to answer but only saw his calculating face, he could see the gears turn in his head.

"We would have lost Little dude. Simple as that, Hawkmoth cares far more for Ladybugs miraculous then mine... Your miraculous." Nino's fingers fiddled with the bracelet around his wrist, even in his PJ's with the other bands taken off he couldn't bear to part with the Miraculous.

It's weight was comforting in its own weird way.

"Indeed, but for what reason is... Unfathomable," Wayzz floated up before plopping himself down on Nino's shoulder. "What's important is we keep up the fight and protect Ladybug, so he may never get the Miraculous."

" Which isn't easy when I'm mind controlled Wayzz." He deadpanned, tired of beating around the bush. Wayzz' face contorted then he tilted his head to the side in thought.

"I see... Perhaps this is a conversation to have with Ladybug then?"

Yeah, he could. If he knew how to get hold of her outside of Akuma attacks. His best bet was to wait for the next attack, then ask her if she was free to talk. Although it worked last time, he figured that was because it was an urgent matter, over now which was just a few small worries.

"So, are we going?" Nino blinked, looking up at Wayzz.

"What?"

" If you wish, we can go out now, try to find Ladybug so you can speak to her. " Shaking his head Nino stood from his chair stretching before reaching for his Mug again.

"I doubt she'll just be out there, we both have civilian lives, besides its..." Looking at the time on his screen he let in a sharp breath between his teeth. "Well eleven forty seven, she's probably asleep." He took a sip of his tea, trying to prolong the conversation.

" Plausibly but you are not, even if you don't find her, a nice run will do some good for you. " Well, Nino couldn't argue with that logic, he rubbed the back of his neck in thought.

It wouldn't hurt to go on a run, exhaust himself enough to maybe get a few hours of sleep before school started. Maybe give him a reason to go to The Dupain-Cheng bakery for a coffee and breakfast, not that he needs a reason to go.

"I... Alright, wait here a second."

Wayzz watched as his chosen left the room, picking up a cut up grape he took a bite before chewing on it. The small Kwami could see the lights outside the room turn on from where it peaked in from under the door. He only had to wait a few minutes before his chosen returned, a steaming hot thermos in hand.

probably filled with more tea. He floated up as Nino shut the door. "Ready to go?" Shaking his head Nino motioned for him to wait before checking his curtains to ensure no-one could peak in.

Flicking his light on he placed his thermos down. "Alright, now I'm ready."

" Then say the magic words. "

"Wayzz, Shell On."

Feeling the magic wash over him Nino brought in a deep breath, relaxing as he felt his heart rate increase in preparation for a fight. He hoped that his light had covered the flash of light from his transformation, he didn't want to be caught out by something as stupid as that.

Flicking his light back off he picked up his thermos and switched his computer to sleep mode. Peaking out his curtains he surveyed the windows and balconies of the other house's as he attached his thermos to his hip, just in case there were other late nighters about.

Feeling satisfied that he couldn't see anything he opened his window wide enough to climb his way out of it. Standing on the ledge precariously he leaped to the close by Lamppost, catching onto the pole before climbing up to the top.

his boots left behind scruff marks that blended in with the others he had been leaving there. Kneeling down atop the post he scanned the road below, seeing it bare and empty. It was strange, to see Paris' streets so abandoned yet know that the city still held life inside its many many buildings.

Tensing his legs he prepared himself before committing to jump to the closest by Lamppost, a jump which he could just barely make on his own. He didn't slow down as he continued his movements by jumping to the closest rooftop, hitting it a little hard.

Bleeding speed by transitioning into a roll he came to a stop, he gave the area another look around before setting off on his run.

his feet pounded against the solid concrete of the buildings, the wind whipped his hood slightly and the cool night air burned at his lungs.

He didn't pay too much attention to where he was going, he just let his feet take him to whichever part of Paris they so desired to travel to.

There was something about traveling this way that was... Uniquely satisfying, he couldn't put his finger on it but he knew there would be little that could compare to running across Paris' skyline Keith nothing but the wind to accompany him.

It wasn't the feeling of freedom, more... The knowledge that he had a higher role in this city. He was one of the city's only two defenders, it was a large amount of responsibility. And he was honoured to hold that responsibility, out of everyone in the entire city it was him, he was chosen to be Carapace.

Now that he knew what that was like... He couldn't imagine not being Carapace, he couldn't imagine not having the power to protect people.

Stopping on a slightly isolated rooftop he moved to the edge, leaning against the billboard as he looked down to the street below. Still the task before him was massive and he was only one person, so he knew he had to be careful.

There was little room for mistakes in all of this.

If Ladybug lost her miraculous, they would lose, no more cure, no more purifying Akuma's. If he lost his... Then he wouldn't be able to defend Ladybug, Paris or even his family.

Whoever gave him the miraculous would probably give someone else a different one... Assuming that there was both more miraculous and someone who had them.

but Nino refused to believe that someone hadn't put the box in his house on the first day of school.

"I think I'm seeing smoke." His arm slipped from where he was leaning, hands grasping at the beams of the billboard before he felt more slender hands grab his arm and pull him back onto the roofs surface.

Turning around he came face to face with Ladybug, who looked both worried and slightly amused. Mostly worried though. "Damn Bug. Give a guy a warning would you."

He chuckled slightly as he pretended to dust himself off, doing his best to not look at his partner. He did not want her to see his face all red from embarrassment.

"I am glad you're here though." Moving over to a large air conditioning unit he hoisted himself up and say on it. "Although, how'd you know I was here?"

" Well... I... Ugh, I saw you? "

Raising an eyebrow he looked her over, seeing how her shoulders were tense, her ankles close together and arms folded defensively in front of her. As if she was trying to make herself smaller then she already was.

He bit back the mocking remark he could have said about her already short stature before nodding thoughtfully.

"I guess that makes sense, I wasn't exactly trying to hide." And he wasn't but he was under the assumption that no-one would be in the right place at the right time to see him. But if someone had to see him?

well he was glad it was her.

"So," She swayed slightly from foot to foot and Nino realised that this was one of those rare occasions where Ladybug wasn't always flying. "Did you have something to say?... Or?"

"Hmm..." He looked up from where he was pulled his thermos off his side before realization dawned on his face. "Oh right, yeah. I wanted to ask you a few things." Tapping the space next to him he waited for her to join him.

after a moment of hesitation did she do so and the two of them looked over the Paris skylines.

"I wanted to talk about valentines day," he chose to ignore her flinch , he didn't want to think of the implications of that. "Cause it got me thinking. If an Akuma can mind control me once, it possible it could happen again."

Pouring his tea into the thermos lid he held it up for a moment before deciding to pass it to his partner.

Accepting the drink she hummed in thought. "Anything's possible, we don't even know what Hawkmoths limits are and all his Akuma are different."

Bringing the cup to her lips she took a sip before recoiling away. Carapace's free hand shot out to grab the wayward cup and although some of the tea split on the rooftop, at least the cup wasn't thrown.

"You alright bug? Is it too hot? Or are you lactose intolerant or something?"

"That's not coffee!" He blinked as Ladybug turned away from him in an attempt to hide her blush from him, his hand was still holding onto hers and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach.

Nino was quiet for all of a moment before a chortle escaped his lips, said chortle grew into a full blown laughter that only caused Ladybugs checks to darken to the same shade as her entire outfit.

"What's so funny!?" Smacking him on the shoulder seemed to bring him down to earth again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, " Freeing the cup from her grip he took it back and refilled it before offering it again, which she took."I've just got this mental image in my head of you tweaked out on coffee, flying around sporadically and randomly all like a hummingbird."

He took a sip from his thermos before letting a large smile grace his face. "You remind me of my friend, amazing girl, a little small but if you give her coffee... Well, she's your responsibility after that."

"She get hyper or something?" He heard something in her voice but couldn't quite identify it.

" Normally she's good after her first coffee but after like the third, " he let out a low chuckle before taking a sip of his tea. "Well the last time that happened she challenged the resident jock to a race, she collapsed asleep halfway to the finish line."

Both winced in sympathy before they nursed their drinks a little more. Soaking in the silence of the night, it was so much more... Peaceful then the daytime, even with the slight ominous undertone that the night carried.

Leaning against his shoulder, Ladybug kept her eyes on her hands. He didn't flinch or shift away from her and after a moment his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"What was it you wanted to talk to me about? before I interrupted you with the coffee thing."

He went to answer, he really did but one look at his partners bluebell eyes, seeing the worry in them, was enough to push the question to the back of his mind. To leave it there and ignore it, these where his problems, not his partners.

"You know what? I forgot." He'd deal with it... Alone.

Snuggling into his side a little more Ladybug let her head lean on him. Carapace himself decided to lay the two of them down into their back for more comfort.

after he removed his shield of course.

"You ever wonder why we were chosen?" Ladybugs words were filled with such curiosity that he found himself wondering the same thing.

what could he, Nino Lahiffe, done to possibly earn himself the responsibility to be one of Paris' Protectors, over the literal millions of other people.

Why wasn't an adult chosen? Why not someone more experienced at fighting? Why them?

Why not them?

"Constantly, But, I think... It because, deep down, we're good people. Willing to do the right thing, not for ourselves, but everyone else. "

Ladybug snorted and he felt like he was being mocked. "That was ridiculously cheesy, but probably true." She sighed, one of her arms moving to rest on his chest as she turned towards him slightly. "I couldn't imagine standing by and watching all this happen if I wasn't Ladybug. "

He couldn't imagine being a bystander either. Perhaps in another time, he wouldn't have a choice but right now? He didn't wish anyone else to be put in the danger the two of them faced.

"Same." He tightened his hold on Ladybug as her body shifted , just in case she fell. "I have your back, always. "

"I'll always have your back Too Carapace." She spoke slowly, lightly. As if something was dragging her voice down.

He blinked slowly a few times, unable to bring himself to talk just yet. They were fine.

The next time he blinked he was greeted to the peaking light of the sun over Paris' horizon. He breathed in the cold morning air, throat dry and limbs asleep.

His partner was curled up to his side.

He'd had fallen asleep, On top of a remote rooftop on nothing but his super suit and he knew he had nothing but PJ's on under that. And... Oh no, Ladybug might even be the same, if she popped out after seeing him pass whenever she lived.

"Well, Fuck."

Nino stumbling into the Dupain-Cheng bakery was not an uncommon occurrence for the Dupain-Cheng parents to witness, Sabine smiled sympathetically at the boy as she began to prepared his regular coffee order before he had even gotten halfway across the shop floor.

"Morning Mrs. Dupain-Cheng," He covered his mouth as he let out a yawn, half leaning against the counter as he tried to keep his head up.

"Oh dear Nino," Sabine shook her head slightly amused , "You look tired, you stay up on your computer again? "

Nino shrugged slightly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Something like that... Can't remember much."

The older woman clicked her tongue as she finished putting Nino's coffee into a to-go cup. "Lack of sleep results in poor memory Nino," Sabine placed his coffee down before him and brought her hand to his cheek , a gesture that had become more common. "Get some sleep tonight. Even if you have to come here to get it, ok?"

Nino snorted humorously as his left hand raised to meet Sabine's. "I don't have a problem sleeping at home, I just g-" he let out another yawn. "Get distracted."

Sabine nodded as she pushed his coffee into his hands. "Of course, go sit down for a minute until Marinette comes down, I'll bring your order."

Nino blinked slightly, Sabine could see the gears turning in his head and had to stifle a laugh. "But I didn't..." He trailed off, unable to find the right words to say.

"No, you didn't, but we know what you like and you need to sit for a few minutes, besides, the schools just there." Giving his cheek a gentle tap Sabine moved away to begin bagging up two bags of pastries.

It took Nino's brain a moment to switch gears but once he did he moved to the closest table and sat down before folding his arms and leaning his head down onto them. Coffee momentarily ignored.

"You know, This place is very homely." He quietly hummed in agreement, even as Wayzz popped out of the side of his hood to peak at the rest of the bakery. "Its not very surprising that you fell for Marinette, she's the embodiment of all the sugar in here."

Nino tensed slightly at the voice at his ear, feeling heat pool into his cheeks. "Wayzz." He spoke in a low whisper, to not draw attention from anyone else.

"You say something Nino?" His knuckles tightened and he felt his nail bite into his palms. Fighting off the blush he raised his head before resting it on his closed hand, seeing Sabine next to him holding onto a bag, which she swiftly put down.

"Just... Groaning, I'm tired." He rubbed his eyes from under his glasses before pushing himself up. Feeling his back ache from the awkward place he had slept last night. Who knew you could fall asleep on a random roof but he supposed the tea was also a large benefactor to the position they found themselves in, in the morning.

"Drink up," She tapped his coffee cup. " if you're too tired to stay awake in school all day, come and have a nap during your lunch break."

"Will do Mrs. Dupain-Cheng. "

"Sabine dear. Now eat up, you won't have any energy for the day if you don't eat anything." Giving a hum he opened up the pastry bag to remove one of the blueberry muffins.

Slowly he munched on it, occasionally he would hold it slightly closer to his chest to allow Wayzz a chance to take a bite for himself. He really hoped he wasn't giving the guy a sweet tooth. He could handle Wayzz getting through several bowls of fruit a day, he doubted he could supply him with sweet treats all day everyday.

Especially since he had to cut back on his DJ gigs after an Akuma made him late for one of his scheduled gigs.

That had been a pain to explain. The chair in front of him groaned in protest and his eyes slowly lifted up to meet Marinette's. She looked, absolutely, dead to the world. There was nothing but tiredness and self hatred in those eyes.

"You stay up all night?" He drawled out before gulping back his coffee. Funny, he nurses teas but drinks coffee like his life depends on it.

"Sort ah..." Opening her mouth resulted in a large yawn to escape her. It was cute. "Had a few ideas come to mind and I just..." She's waved her hands sluggishly, her own cup of coffee sloshing around in her hand. "Had to draw them. "

"Please tell me you got a little sleep dudette." Reaching into the bag Nino pulled out a pistachio macaroon before taking a bite.

"Did you?" He was too tired to see the light pink that dusted her face as his eyes dropped to the table. Yes, he did get sleep.

But he got sleep on top of an air conditioning unit while dressed up as a turtle and hugging his superhero partner. That was not something he wanted to explain.

"Eh, some. Fell asleep on my keyboard, you know?"

"At least I was on something comfortable."

Flicking the small chunk of Macaroon he had in hand he watched as it flew between them before hitting Marinette dead centre of her forehead. She flinched in surprise, she squinted her eyes at the boy across from her as she brushed off the crumbs.

"Lahiffe."

"Dupain-Cheng."

The two of them stared each other down until Marinette let out a stiffened laugh. "You, you sound like Chloé."

" Ew, End me now. "

"I can go get a bag of flour if you like," She pointed over to behind the counter, but he was struggling to get the image of Marinette lifting heavy flour bags out of his head.

"If that's how I gotta go out, so be it." Wouldn't that be a way to go? Not by an Akuma or accident but by his crush, quite literally, crushing him.

Slowly Marinette pulled her own croissant out of her bag of food, never breaking eye contact with him as she bit down into it. The two of them sat there in a comfortable silence as they ate. If they where going to be late, Sabine would tell them.

It was now, in his barely awake state, that he realised how much more confident Marinette had become lately. Both in and out of school. No doubt it was caused by Alya, while he had no problem with it, he did wonder why Marinette had never let him and Kim deal with Chloé all those years ago.

Sure, Kim's view had been... Altered, over the years. As he had learned on Valentine's but back when Chloé started to be a brat they were more than willing to set her straight. Marinette, holder of his heart, had not wanted that. Had preferred peace. And here they were, Chloé as the class bully, Marinette just getting her confidence back, him barley able to stand up against someone when he wasn't in the suit.

Both of them were slowly unlearning such behaviours, ready to become the people they should have been so long ago. But they'd get there... Eventually.

"Mari..." He fiddled with his hands as they rested on the table, fingers intertwining. His head was slumped and he could barely keep his eyes open now that the coffee had passed out of his system.

Said girl hummed from behind him, her own coffee boost having bled out of her some time ago too.

"Is it... Is it too late to get that nap at your place?"

Class would end and lunch would begin soon, he was certain he wouldn't be able to make it the rest of the day without a little sleep. Mrs. Dupain-Cheng would make sure they weren't late and had lunch still.

it was one of the many reasons why he loved the Dupain-Cheng's.

"No such thing as, Too late for a nap, in my eyes." Marinette yawned into her hands and he had to fight off the blush at the image of her face scrunching up cutely. Like the way her nose would create up or her... OK, shaking his head he tried to ignore those thoughts.

The bell ringing hardly fazed them and both were stuck in there seats for a while longer. Long Enough that the two of them had to wave off Alya and Adrien respectively.

"So... You just wanna crash on the floor of the bakery or actually get to the sofa?"

Both huffed in tired amusement, her neither made a move to get up from there chairs. Too lethargic to even attempt to stand up, let alone get all the way to Mari's house.

"We having a sleep pile?" Nino jerked slightly at the voice that was right behind him, a quick peek showed Kim standing on the step above his tables level, looking down at the two of them. His bag was hanging off his back and he had a look of excitement in his eyes.

The sleep piles were something the three of them had done for so long, Nino couldn't remember a time when they didn't do it. It was simole, if two, or more, of them were tired they'd go to whoever's home was closest. Then collapse into a pile somewhere comfortable and just, sleep.

They'd done it since they were kids, they were going to keep doing it until they couldn't.

"Yes," Marinette yawned. "And if you help us get to mine... You can join too. "

"Yes!" Kim pumped his arm as the two of them groaned from his volume, if they didn't get some sleep soon they'd have killer headaches .

And Nino did not want to fight an Akuma with a headache. Quicker than anything Kim picked up their bags before slinging them over his shoulders.

Nino was halfway through attempting to stand when he felt Kim's hands grab him before he was suddenly slung over one of his shoulders, very disgracefully.

"Kim!" And judging by the head of dark hair, Marinette was slung over his other shoulder too. She was at least able to put up a little bit of a fight, just for a moment, before she slumped and let Kim take them away.

This was not the first time Kim had done this to them, so some people weren't that surprised to see it happening again. Although most were still surprised to see the jock carrying two of his classmates like sandbags.

They were two tires to really care about people looking, too tired to answer the questions sent their way. Even too tired to properly Greet Sabine when Kim got them through the bakery doors.

Much to Sabine and Tom's amusement.

Nino only snapped out of his haze for long enough to notice that Kim had taken to being their pillow, again, and that Marinette was leaning into his collar as his arms wrapped around her. Kim's arms were wrapped around both of them and someone had covered them in a blanket.

For one fleeting moment, Nino believed he was six again, back when things were so much simpler. Back to when he was just Nino, Not Carapace, Not an older brother, Not... Well, he didn't want to think about that last one.

Pulling Marinette closer to him he embraced her warmth as he dozed off, at least this time, he wouldn't wake up on some random rooftop in the middle of nowhere.

or maybe he would... You never knew when you were with Kim.

#Bug And Shell(d)#Miraculous Ladybug #Nino Lahiffe #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Carabug #Ninette

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aizawaskittenwhore · 3 years

Text

headcanon: they have a s/o that listens to a specific female artist

featuring izuku, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, and our pros before hoes hawks and aizawa lol

words: 1k??

warnings: some slick lil nasty comments (cause when aizawa’s involved i can’t write fully sfw) and language that’s it lol

𝕚𝕫𝕦𝕜𝕦 𝕞𝕚𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕪𝕒 𝕨/ 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕤 𝕦𝕞𝕚:

the first time he’d ever heard of her was when the two of you went on a drive one night

he’d already liked the vibe of a few of the songs you’d played

and then lullaby came on

man when i say this boy didn’t think he could fall for you any harder until that moment

he was so wrong

hearing your voice softly harmonize with the melody had his heart skipping beats

the street was deserted cause it was so late

and all he remembers is copper streetlamps illuminating your face

left hand out the window, right hand on the wheel while the wind blows your scarf in all different directions

and when happy again plays???

and you blissfully kiss him while you’re stopped at a red light???

while your hand is already holding his?????

izuku is sold

he goes home and downloads all her music

and she becomes “your” artist

“babe wake up umi just dropped music”

he even took you to see her in concert for your birthday lol

𝕜𝕒𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕚 𝕓𝕒𝕜𝕦𝕘𝕠 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕠 𝕟𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕪

now why would you put him on to rico bruh

but in your defense it’s not your fault

he was helping you with dinner one night

and you hated working in silence so you’d asked him to play something from your playlist

he chose “smack a bitch” cause he liked the title💀

and from that point forward he was obsessed

he was already attracted to your no-nonsense, take no shit type attitude

so knowing that you listened to the same kinda music made you ten times hotter

you knowing all the lyrics had his dick on HARD LMFAOOOO

anger management is his favorite album

you fell tf out when he said that cause...have you met katsuki that mf is the poster child for anger issues

secretly likes sugar trap too but refuses to admit it

on bad days y’all will blast all of rico’s aggressive songs and rage

your downstairs neighbors hate you.

𝕥𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕪𝕒𝕟𝕒 𝕥𝕒𝕪𝕝𝕠𝕣

okay so todoroki is painfully introverted

which isn’t his fault cause endeavor isn’t father of the year by any means

so i hc him with someone who’s extroverted and outgoing

teyana makes music for bad bitches who work hard and play harder

but have a soft side too and just wanna love/be loved bro

he loves that you can put on such a brave face for the world every day no matter what

he’ll never forget when he knew he loved you

he was getting in pretty late from a patrol that had run overtime

and he’d found you, crying on your shared bed after an awful day n this man’s heart just splinters cause he don’t know how to comfort people🧍🏾‍♀️

but you don’t ask him for much, just for him to hold you and he does

the next day he wakes up to you just bopping to “never would have made it” and you just glow as you pull him outta bed to come dance with you like you weren’t just crying last night which has him confused asf

“you can be strong and still be vulnerable baby.”

that shit hit home for him

lowkey wants to recreate the shower scene from the “fade” video with you now

𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕠𝕤𝕙𝕚 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕛𝕙𝕖𝕟𝕖

y’all can’t tell me this mf don’t be zooted 25/8 and most def has a smoke playlist with jhene on it

so when he finds out that you like her too???

oh baby the vibes here are immaculate

you can’t tell me he wouldn’t have chilombo goin in the background while y’all smoke

and if you don’t personally smoke then he’ll just cuddle with you while he practices tricks<3

will ask you if you wanna get licked too if you stare at him as he’s rollin

the energy here is so balanced it’s crazy

shinsou hates drama and all that other bullshit

so when he’s with you he’s the most relaxed he can be

also he loves that you’re not opposed to deep conversations about your purpose on this earth and how you can feed off other people’s energies

y’all definitely burn sage together on sundays

but don’t get it twisted

cause he knows better than anyone that while you may be chill your hands are still rated E for everybody

been on the receiving end of your anger once or twice and he said never again lol

𝕖𝕚𝕛𝕚𝕣𝕠 𝕜𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕒𝕝𝕚 𝕦𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕤

there is nothing more attractive to kiri than someone who’s not afraid to take a leap of faith

you’d known each other since second year, and honestly you were itching to change up your energy

you were tired of being the same old, boring, timid y/n

so you started small: you experimented with your hair more, tried out new makeup, and clothes that accentuated your...ahem..assets

sweaters became tube tops, lip balm turned into brown liner with a thick coat of gloss, skirts became bell bottom jeans with the occasional pair of heels

don’t be fooled, you still loved your old clothes, you just needed to branch out

and as your new style grew so did your taste in music

honestly when you started listening to kali you really hit peak Bad Bitch Energy™️

kiri was, in short, enamored with you

the way you woke up one day and decided to be a whole new person was so manly to him

and he loved the way you knew you didn’t need shit from him but still let him spoil you

which only made him wanna spoil you more

and the way you shifted from a goddess who could step on him with a perfectly manicured foot to kiri’s baby who demanded cuddles before 11am????

the duality has wedding bells going off in his head lol

pros before hoes lol

𝕙𝕒𝕨𝕜𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖𝕘𝕒𝕟

“fell too fast for me, now the nigga hurt”

that lyric is your dynamic with keigo in a nutshell.

he’d met you while he was in fukuoka on a “business trip” .....which was code for a booty call🙄

and figured he’d try to get another pyt on his team

...only problem was, you were a whole hot girl coach (with ya own draft picks no less)

you had heard about playboy (and no.2 hero) Hawks from here to the States

so, you’d decided to play dumb, hoping he’d slip up and you’d get another pro on your list

all it took was a few sleepovers and calling him keigo over breakfast in the morning...dude was stuck

this man was trying to run game and now you had him throwin you some money to get your hair and nails done “just because” n buy you birkins....embarrassing 💀

however despite him being a sweetheart you didn’t forget what this was, and he wasn’t the only egg in your basket since you knew you weren’t his

this man saw edgeshot’s name come through with a “you up?” text while you were in the shower and cried to brent for a week straight LMFAOOO

but what did he expect from the same person who knew every lyric to meg’s wap verse...come on baby do better

long story short if you can’t handle a stallion don’t try to tame one.

𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕒 𝕒𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕫𝕒

whewwww okay the amount of scorpio energy flowing through here is borderline suffocating

honestly if you listen to sza you’re either a scorpio, heartbroken, manifesting, have low self esteem with sudden confidence bursts or all the above don’t lie

in all seriousness shota didn’t see himself getting into a serious relationship due to his pro hero status

that, and he didn’t feel like there was anyone out there that was just...on his level mentally???

but then he meets you and you throw him for a loop though he’ll never admit it

you didn’t just throw yourself at him at the beginning

and while sure you made it known that the attraction was mutual you treaded lightly

he could tell you’d been hurt before and would kill before you let someone get you in a position to hurt you again

pretended not to notice you crying to supermodel when he was supposed to be sleeping

which he understood, for him trust issues came with the territory so there was a mutual understanding between you two

you don’t mind his schedule since you prioritize your alone time and he loves that

you definitely get him into meditation and crystal/chakra alignment

at first he thinks it’s a bunch of bullshit

until it helps him sleep better...mf is a secret hippie now

he loves that you’re trying to heal/become a better version of yourself and he gets to be a part of that growth :,) it makes him a little more optimistic for his personal goals

the sex is elite lol had to say it the vibes are too good here

𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕤 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕞𝕖 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕤𝕖!

#mha #bnha #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugo headcanons #mha headcanons #katsuki bakugo #bakugo x reader #eijiro kirishima #kirishima x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki x reader #hawks x reader #tamaki keigo #aizawa x reader #shota aizawa #bhna headcanons #my hero academia

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broomsandbrews · 4 years

Text

The Beauty of Seasons Through my Eyes

I wake up on a hot Summer morning to the sound of the birds singing. There are just a few bubbly clouds in the bright blue sky, announcing a lovely day. I spot a butterfly. I think it's a Monarch. Funny how butterflies can't see their wings and see how beautiful they are, but yet others can. I guess we, as people, are a little like that too. I now walk to the kitchen and make some homemade iced tea with fresh lemons, adding some honey for a touch of sweetness. The sun is shining through the window, forming a pool of golden light on the hardwood floor. I do my laundry and hang my clothes on the clothing line, a warm breeze caresses my cheeks. The cotton sheets are swaying in the air; they will smell so good when they're dry. I love that linen, clean smell. The sound of the leaves rustling in the wind is delightful, as well as the calm and gentle ringing noise the wind chimes are making. I do a bit of cleaning, let the animals out so they can run in the field, and go check on my garden. I water the crops and notice they will be ready for harvest soon. I visit my barn and do some early morning chores. I then decide to get inside my greenhouse, where I tend to my plants and fresh culinary herbs. Some will pair gorgeously with today's recipe. I release a lady bug as I think that tonight will be a perfect night to light a bonfire and make some S'mores. I'll sit on a blanket under the mystical moon and the stars, sing and play guitar as I watch the embers glow. All is well. I feel peaceful.

I wake up on a cozy Fall morning and hear the sound of the rain hitting the window as well as the low rumbling of thunder. I get up, and since it's a bit chilly, I put on a knitted sweater, fuzzy socks and light some candles. I turn on an old 80's horror movie; they're my favorite. After it is over, I burn some Sandalwood incense and cleanse my crystals with the smoke. It's almost Samhain. My ultimate favorite Holiday. I put up pictures of loved ones and pets that have passed away and put them on the mantelpiece. They never really leave us, do they? I pour myself some spiced apple cider while I meditate. Then, I open the door; it's still raining, but the air is crisp and cool. I see there's a few carved pumpkins on the patio, and a bunch of Halloween decorations. Ghouls, skeletons, ghosts, witches, you name it. The trees have turned from green, to yellow, to orange, to red, a symphony of colors. I read somewhere that "Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go." I like that quote. I like it a lot. My heart starts racing as I think about going apple picking in my own backyard; Cortlands, Granny Smiths, Golden Delicious...I'm contemplating the many pies I'll be able to make with all this delectable goodness when it stops raining. Fast forward to now, it is time to go pick some tart, wild cranberries. I will also go forage edible mushrooms in the woods later, to put in my spaghetti squash dish. I can't wait to feel the crunching of the autumn leaves under my boots. I feel magical.

I wake up on a cold Winter morning and realize there's a blizzard outside. The first real snowfall of the year. There are icicles hanging from the window sill. The visibility is low, but some snowflakes are sticking to the glass; they are all unique in themselves. We should all be like the snow and beautify everything we touch. With gentleness. With kindness. With resilience. With fierceness. All I can hear are the strong gusts and howling of the arctic winds, but apart from that, everything is quiet. I suddenly get excited for Christmas, I take out some traditional decorations and dress our entire home in Holiday and Yule spirit while sipping on candy cane flavored hot chocolate and listening to old Christmas classics. I’m ecstatic to put up my Christmas tree and start decorating it with fairy lights, garlands and festive ornaments. I put chopped firewood in the fireplace and light it up; a nice, toasty feeling envelops me as I snuggle and curl up in a fluffy blanket by the flames; they're almost as warm as my heart. I take a break, write in my Book of Shadows, documenting some new spells I invented. I re-read the Harry Potter series happily until it's time for dinner. I wanna make something hearty, maybe a vegetable soup, a stew, or some pork roast, perhaps? I also bake some sugar and chocolate chip cookies in the oven, waiting for the rich and sweet aroma to fill up the cabin. I bundle up. Hat, mittens, scarf, snow pants, winter jacket and I turn into a child as I go outside and decide to make snow angels and build snowmen. Memories of childhood flood through me. My cheeks are rosy. I feel nostalgic.

I wake up on a mild Spring morning. The first thing I do is tie my hair in a high ponytail and go for a hike; the snow is starting to melt. The delicate sound of water trickling and flowing freely on the ground tickles my ears. It's like hearing a sweet, comforting song. I take a deep breath of fresh air; there is definitely a feeling of playfulness, but also revival in the air. Wildlife is not quite awake, yet, but everything slowly starts to come back to life, foreshadowing and promising the coming of warm days ahead. The flowers and branches will surely bloom in a short time. The earth scents the air with its fragrance; soon the grass will sprout, drink the rain and color the ground in its new growth, evergreen. The flowers will soon reappear; they are a reminder that everything and everyone grows at its own pace and that there is nothing wrong with it. The winds are now picking up and a wild thought crosses my mind; maybe I should fly a kite or be creative and paint, write or draw. When I get back home, exhausted but joyful, I do some light spring cleaning, and hang some bird feeders outside on the porch. I notice a few flies are starting to buzz about. I start gathering the seeds I have ordered a few weeks back, and plan out my garden. I take a trip to the nearest sugar shack and enjoy some maple toffee. It is a period of starting over. Spirits are lifted. As we see nature being transformed, let's not forget that we are being transformed, too. I feel infinite.

An original work by: @broomsandbrews.

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katierosefun · 4 years

Text

not my homeland anymore

Three times Obi-Wan and Anakin were each other’s home, and three times their homes were crumbling apart.

recommend listening to this heartbreak of a song while reading because :))

read on ao3 | read on ff

“Anakin—”

“I got it, I got it, I’m fine—”

“Anakin—”

“I’m—”

There’s a shower of sparks, and Obi-Wan instinctively yanks Anakin back, even though he knows that there really is no point. The sparks fly from Anakin’s mechanic arm anyways, and the acrid smell of smoke fills their quarters.

There’s a silence, and then Obi-Wan starts to say, “Perhaps you should—”

“I’ve got it,” Anakin says, tugging his shoulder out of Obi-Wan’s grip. He sits himself back down at the workbench, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “It’s just this…stupid…” He’s trying to pry something open in the mechanic arm, despite the fact that it’s still sparking. If Anakin’s bothered by the heat, he doesn’t show it. His fingers scramble for the arm, and with a small grunt, he shoves something open, and Obi-Wan finds himself looking down at a set of wires that he can’t keep track of.

“It’s late,” Obi-Wan says after a while. “You should get some rest.”

“I will,” Anakin says, not looking at Obi-Wan. “I just need to…” Another shower of sparks, and this time, Obi-Wan’s not close enough to pull Anakin back in time.

“Anakin, are you—”

Anakin wipes a hand across his face. “I’m fine,” he says, but there’s a strain in his voice now. Obi-Wan watches as Anakin works at the arm. He feels his apprentice’s frustration, rising and simmering just below the surface. And he knows that the fact that Anakin hadn’t gotten proper sleep since Geonosis isn’t helping.

Another shower of sparks, and Anakin swears.

“That’s enough,” Obi-Wan says at last, and he walks around to Anakin’s other side. He finds the open compartment and closes it with a soft snap.

“I was working on that—”

“And you’ll work on it tomorrow,” Obi-Wan replies. He glances at the chronometer. “Or later today.”

“I don’t want to work on it later,” Anakin says sharply. “I need to fix this now. I need to…” His hand is moving for the compartment again, but Obi-Wan pushes Anakin’s hand away. Anakin pushes back. Obi-Wan pushes back harder. It’s a silent battle of just stubborn nerves, but Anakin’s tired, and Obi-Wan knows Anakin is tired.

Obi-Wan sees the angry tears sliding down Anakin’s face a moment later, and then Anakin’s head is dropping, bumping gently against Obi-Wan’s abdomen. “Can’t you just…” Anakin’s saying through gritted teeth, “I’m just trying to…”

Obi-Wan doesn’t get to figure out the rest of what Anakin wants to say, because Anakin’s next words are melted into a quiet shudder, a quick gasp. And Obi-Wan feels Anakin shaking against him, and Obi-Wan feels that frustration crest and break.

Obi-Wan lets it.

“It’s okay, you’re okay—”

Obi-Wan hears Anakin somewhere above him, but he can’t see him—he can’t see him, it’s too dark—

There’s a terrible keening sound, and only a second too late does Obi-Wan realize that ah, he was the one making that wretched sound, because his throat felt raw, and Anakin was still speaking above him. Obi-Wan couldn’t make out the words, but he could feel the pleading there. Obi-Wan wants to tell Anakin to wait just a moment, he was just trying—

And there was pain. So much pain throbbing in his head, in his body. Obi-Wan thinks he hears someone whispering after him, but no, that couldn’t be, because he had left Zigoola, he wasn’t on that planet anymore—

Obi-Wan’s burning, and for a moment, he wonders if perhaps he really is still stuck on Zigoola, and Anakin’s voice—Anakin’s voice must just be some hallucination, because there is no way Anakin could come to this hellscape. Obi-Wan hopes Anakin hasn’t actually come to Zigoola—but strangely, selfishly, Obi-Wan is almost glad that at least his hallucinations let him hear Anakin’s voice, even if for a brief moment—

“I’m right here—Obi-Wan, I’m here—come back—”

And Obi-Wan opens his eyes. He surges up suddenly, nearly ramming into Anakin headfirst—but Anakin ducks out of the way, and he’s already steadying Obi-Wan’s shoulders. And then Obi-Wan feels a cool hand brush back his hair, and then he hears Anakin repeat, “You’re okay.”

Obi-Wan lifts his head. Anakin’s eyes are bright, charged, and he looks relieved and worried and frightened but mostly relieved.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan rasps. “I thought…” And he’s just relieved. That’s all he feels, too. Cool, pure relief, because he isn’t on a hellscape of a planet anymore, and Anakin is sitting in front of him, still brushing back his damp hair.

“I thought,” Obi-Wan tries again, finds that he can’t go on.

He doesn’t have to.

“It’s okay,” Anakin says. “You’re okay. You’re here.”

“Anakin, can you—”

“Don’t—”

“If we could talk—”

A sharp laugh. “So you want to talk now,” Anakin says bitterly. “Perfect timing, Obi-Wan—”

Obi-Wan grabs Anakin’s elbow, spins him around.

Anakin’s eyes are blazing, twin blue flames when he looks at Obi-Wan. But Obi-Wan doesn’t let that faze him. Refuses to let that faze him as he says quietly, “Please. I know you’re angry with me, but I—”

“Did what you have to do,” Anakin finishes. “I know. I know.”

“But you’re still upset with me.”

Anakin lets out a short laugh. It doesn’t suit him—it’s an ugly, cruel sound that makes Obi-Wan feel far away. “Of course I’m upset,” he says. “You…you made me believe that you were dead. I thought you were—” His voice cracks, and he whirls around, and he’s storming off down the hallway.

Obi-Wan watches him leave, and he waits only a few moments before hurrying after him.

“Anakin—”

And this time Anakin stops, his head hanging low.

Obi-Wan wants to reach for him again, but he has the feeling that Anakin would only pull away. So he stays a mere steps away from Anakin and says quietly, too quietly, “I’m sorry.”

But Anakin hears.

And he turns around, his shoulders hunched.

When Anakin’s head falls against Obi-Wan’s shoulder, Obi-Wan doesn’t pull away.

“Anakin.”

Obi-Wan rests his hand against Anakin’s shoulder, and he flinches. Obi-Wan isn’t sure how long Anakin must have been standing out here, right at the top of the Temple steps, but the sky was dark, and despite the fact that the sky had been clear just a few hours ago, he could see the distant shape of storm clouds hanging above them.

“She’s gone,” Anakin says numbly.

Obi-Wan looks down the Temple steps, as though if he looks hard enough, Ahsoka might come racing back up the steps.

But he knows that won’t happen.

“Come back inside,” Obi-Wan says. “You shouldn’t stand out here.”

“I thought she was going to come back,” Anakin only says. He’s not looking at Obi-Wan. He, too, is looking down the Temple steps. “I thought if…I could just convince her, she would—I thought—”

“She made up her mind, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says quietly. He can’t trust himself to speak any louder than that. “It’s no fault of your own.”

“No fault,” Anakin echoes bitterly. “She left because it was our fault—the Council’s—”

“Anakin—”

“No,” Anakin says sharply, stepping away from Obi-Wan. “You know, because you were just standing there—” His cuts himself abruptly as his eyes lift to meet Obi-Wan’s, and Obi-Wan feels like Anakin had just hit him. Anakin doesn’t need to finish whatever it was he was going to say, because Obi-Wan had been wondering the same thing.

But still—hearing it from Anakin was—

Anakin drops his eyes.

“Anakin…”

“I need to go,” Anakin says abruptly. He’s already backing away from Obi-Wan. “I’ll see you…later.”

And then he’s rushing away, and Obi-Wan’s left standing alone at the Temple steps.

The storm clouds rumbled above him.

“They want me to spy on the Chancellor?”

Obi-Wan sees the disbelief on Anakin’s face, sees Anakin already pulling away, and Obi-Wan wishes that the Council had chosen anyone else—anyone else—to tell Anakin the news, but—

He has to do what he must.

“That’s treason,” Anakin is saying now. “That’s—”

“We are at war, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, and he tries to keep his voice steady, but Anakin’s looking at him like he’s a stranger. Anakin’s looking at the ground now, his eyes away from Obi-Wan, lips pressed tightly together, face still closed off, and Obi-Wan can feel himself losing him—

“Why didn’t the Council give me this assignment while we were in session?” Anakin’s voice is low.

“This assignment is not to be on record,” Obi-Wan replies. Please understand.

But Anakin is shaking his head, still disbelieving. “The Chancellor is not a bad man, Obi-Wan,” he says. “He befriended me—he’s watched out for me ever since I arrived here.”

“That is why you must help us,” Obi-Wan says quietly. “Anakin.”

Anakin looks at Obi-Wan, his eyes hard. No longer burning or raging as Obi-Wan had once seen them, but cold like ice.

But Obi-Wan still tries. He tries, and he hears his own words, but even they feel far away from himself because Anakin’s looking away from Obi-Wan, his head bent and arms crossed.

Look at me, Obi-Wan wants to say. Come back to me.

“Why are you asking me to do this?” Anakin asks at last, and his voice is tired. Weary.

Obi-Wan isn’t the one asking him to do this. Obi-Wan wants to say so.

“The Council is asking you,” he only says, and he hopes—he hopes, so desperately, that Anakin could hear what he’s trying to say, but Anakin’s face only hardens.

Anakin looks back out the window.

There is a silence on Tatooine that Obi-Wan is still trying to get used to.

He sits and meditates, meditates and sits. Tries to reach for Qui-Gon. Tries to reach for answers, but he finds his thoughts lingering elsewhere.

He wakes up in the middle of the night and paces around the hut. He walks outside into the cool night air and sits until the suns rise.

Sometimes, he thinks he can hear Anakin’s laughter dancing over the dunes. But most times, he can only hear Anakin’s screams. He can hear—

He wonders when things had started crumbling apart. He wonders how it had all went terribly wrong—because it had gone wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong.

Obi-Wan never gets used to the silence on Tatooine.

#tcw #sw #swtcw #the clone wars #star wars: the clone wars #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #my fic #pain i love pain!!!!

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salamanderskin · 4 years

Text

Respite

Still on the CR kick with no sign of easing. Just a sick Fjord feeling sorry for himself and then feeling guilty about it. Caduceus gives him such much-needed softness. Set during episode 92 no spoilers I think. Kind of a follow up to this because stifles give me life.

The mood in the group is strange when the Mighty Nein ride out from Zadash.

Fjord loves them all but his head aches just trying to keep track of the aims and worries and triumphs that bind their little group; he can read the tension rising from Beau like steam, Jester beside her with a combination of concern and bubbling joy at her new found father. Then there’s Caleb and Nott and Yasha and then there’s Caduceus. He feels like he needs a whole extra brain to think about Caduceus with and maybe a whole extra heart to hold the bond that has grown between them in the past few weeks.

His head really does ache, though. His throat feels hot and dry, with a lancing pain when he swallows, and he can’t stop sniffling every five minutes. His mood darkens in sync with the clouds that thicken on the horizon. He would give a lot to be safely back in the Xorhaus, meditating in the magical sunlight of Caduceus’s garden, rather than pounding across these monotonous grasslands on horseback.

He feels small and selfish just thinking about it. They are in the midst of trying to stop a war and chasing resolution for dear friends trapped by years of trauma. One of their group was possessed until, like, last week, others have been or are about to be reintroduced to their respective abusers. And Fjord has a cold.

He still feels shitty, though.

He is distracted from this minor complaint when the party finally find a place to stop. The gentle, grassy slopes offer no cover, but they could see anything coming a mile away. For example, they soon spot someone else’s campfire a little way away. Nott and Jester leap to investigate. He lets them go. If they need backup they’ll yell. Loudly. Let them do the legwork while he sits down.

That leaves the other three to set a fire while Caleb conjures the tiny magical hut which is their home away from home. Fjord can’t seem to get warm. He inches closer to the fire until the smoke irritates his eyes and rubs at his arms with his palms to try to gather some heat. The itchiness in his nose has grown intense and distracting- he hovers a hand near his face to scrub at it but the irritation with neither leave nor crest into a relieving sneeze. His throat burns and he feels overall miserable. “Hey, are you ok? You look… I don’t know… you look frustrated.”

That’s one word for it. He doesn’t want Caduceus to worry, but he also knows the Firbolg can see right through him so he explains, “Remember how you said I might be getting sick?”

“Oh dear,” Caduceus’ mouth twists in sympathy.

“Nothing serious, I promise you. I’m just-” Fjord sniffles in demonstration, demonstrating how he can hardly breathe through his nose. He regrets it immediately when it makes him cough.

“Can I come check you over?” Caduceus approaches, gaze soft and concerned.

“There’s really no need, I’m sure it’s just a cold.”

Caduceus raises an eyebrow. “What if I want to be sure? I don’t want you to feel badly.”

“Well then, I’ll humour you.”

Fjord doesn’t expect the contact needed for the diagnosis to come in the form of a kiss to the forehead, but it’s very lovely. The magic feels like a little trickle of warmth, though perhaps that’s just the butterflies he always gets when they make contact.

“Okay.” Caduceus says, drawing back. “I don’t think a healing spell will do much, but I’ll put something for the congestion in some tea, alright?”

“Sounds good. Thank you.”

The dark has truly drawn in now. The sky has clouded and there are no stars. A little wind ruffles the long grasses, makes the campfire leap and the smoke veer from side to side so that there is no getting away from it. After their time in the city is strange to be somewhere so open. No buildings, no mountains, no break in the horizon. The sky arcs above them like a great upturned basin, thick with clotting clouds.

It would be peaceful if it wasn’t for how the cold makes Fjord’s nose drip and his head ache. He feels thoroughly sorry for himself and then immediately feels childish for it. He has been getting soft from all the city living. He presses the sides of his nose again, trying to push into his sinuses and ease the dull pain there.

Caduceus returns just as he is blowing his nose, passes a cup of tea to Caleb, then to Yasha then approaches with one for Fjord. “Here you are. Drink it while it’s hot.”

The firbolg looks lovely in the firelight, Fjord thinks. The warmth touches his ashy gray to a warm dove-colour and when he turns his head, the clean lines of his cheeks and brow stand out like a statue of some forest god. Caduceus has added a knitted shawl over his shoulders but he doesn’t seem cold at all. Fjord envies him that. It must be the fur. He sees Caduceus turn to sit on a stump on the other side and quickly moves up to make space beside himself.

“Want me to sit beside you?” Caduceus asks.

“Yes please.” Fjord says. He wants more, of course, so much more than that, but that is a good start. His friend’s body settles beside his and he feels his mood lift even as he shivers. Their thighs press together and he leans in to the comforting warmth of the firbolg’s flank. Caduceus has some height on him, which makes it wonderfully easy to lean his head into his shoulder.

Before Fjord can protest, Caduceus removes his shawl from his shoulders and spreads it over both their laps. Fjord gives a little hum of thanks, lets his eyes drift closed in the sudden, soothing warmth of it.

Fjord could probably fall asleep here. He almost does, if it wasn’t for how badly he needs to sneeze. He manages to cup his hands over his face, though he doesn’t need to, really; there isn’t any sound to it, just a ferocious bob of his head and a whole-body shudder. He scrunches his nose and clenches his eyes shut to try to fight the tickle, then flinches into another repressed “hh- mmkx!!!” He breathes out a “uuugh” of a groan at how stuffy he feels afterwards.

“Was that a sneeze?” Caduceus turns to look at him with an expression he can’t quite read.

“Y-up- hknt!” Fjord nods, forefinger jammed up under his nose, sneezes again. It makes his head throb. “--hhnxxt!”

“Oh! Bless you, then.”

“Thadks.” His voice comes out thick and wrecked. “Guhh… ’scuse me.”

It’s almost worth it for how Caduceus draws him closer and rubs his back.

They are startled from the embrace by a shout and a blur of blue as Jester sprints toward them out of the dark and then away again, calling for Nott.

Fjord raises his head, peers out into the night and strains his ears for sounds of a struggle. Across the other side of the fire, the others are on equally high alert; Yasha drawn to her full height, Beau with her night-vision goggles, Caleb’s gaze gone vague as he sees through the eyes of his familiar.

“Do you think we should-?” Caduceus begins.

“They... seem to have a handle on the situation.” Caleb gives with a wry smile and everyone relaxes. If Caleb hasn’t launched himself protectively after the little goblin then they must be safe enough.

Fjord laughs too, as he wonders what shenanigans the two most chaotic members of the nein had got up to out there in the dark. It turns into a fit of coughing that blossoms in his throat and won’t stop until Yasha has passed him her water skin.

“Better not, think I’m coming down with something.” He manages with the scraps of breath he can grab. “I’ll risk it,” Yasha’s voice is steady and sweet as ever, so he drinks. It does help, and it helps even more when she reaches to give him a hug from one side. “I hope you feel better soon, Fjord.”

When Nott and Jester finally return it is with laughter on their lips and not a slip of regret for running into an enemy camp in the middle of the night.

Once he might have rolled his eyes at their celebration of escaping trouble they could have easily avoided, then seethed with a gut full of worry that one day they might not come out clean, snapped at Nott and brushed off Jester’s affectionate advances. These days he feels calmer, more trusting, able to accept things as they come. Some of it is a gift from the Wildmother, the same deep faith which Caduceus glows with. Some of it is Caduceus himself. His very presence makes Fjord feel lighter.

He watches the Firbolg lean over the fire, lit like a stained-glass window as he conjures a bowl of stew seemingly from nowhere.

He sits beside the fire and listens to his teammates recount their chaotic adventures with a sense of calm in his belly and Caduceus’ shawl over his knees. He pinches his nose hard and groans, trying to stave off sneezes but now then a few still escape.

He shudders into his fist, with no more sound than a “-hh'nkt” of suppressed force,

They’re as quiet as he can make them, but Caleb’s head perks up all the same, brows canted in his familiar expression of mild concern. “Gesundheit.”

“Looking a little green there, buddy.” Nott adds.

“Oh no, Fjord, are you sick?” Jester’s head snaps round in interest.

“Just a sniffle.” He shrugs. He’s not the one who should be the centre of attention tonight. Beau and Nott are.

Thank the Wildmother, Caduceus Clay’s deep, steady voice distracts them from making a scene, “He’s fine. Jester, tell me how you met those bandits before?”

Once again Fjord admires Caduceus’ mild diplomacy. The light conversation is exactly what they need to keep their minds from the path ahead. Beau in particular has expressed she won’t be talking about her traumas to the group in general,while Nott doesn’t seem to know what she wants right now.

Fjord himself is deeply grateful because he has to sneeze again and this time it escapes him as an orcish “hhuhh--’TSSSHHHuu!” He groans and swears as he blows his nose afterwards. Caduceus’ arm is there for him to lean into when he shivers despite the fire.

“I think you should go to bed,” Caduceus says softly.

Luckily the rest of the Nein are of the same mind, so Caleb conjures the magical dome they use as a shelter. It’s warmish inside and warmer still when their bodies pile in next to each other. They take their familiar places; Yasha takes first watch, Beau and Jester are spooning while Nott curls at Caleb’s feet like a gnarly green cat. Fjord and Caduceus lie beside each other, as always. At some point on their travels, the foot of space between their sleeping bodies became an inch, became Fjord with his head pillowed Caduceus’ chest or their fingers intertwined. No one in the Mighty Nein has even teased them about it. Yet. That is a blessing Fjord will enjoy for as long as he can.

It’s almost pitch-black inside the hut. Fjord can hear the others of the Nein breathing and shifting in their close proximity. He wants to sleep but his head feels stuffed and thick. Breathing through his mouth is making his throat dry but he can’t get enough air any other way. In frustration he pinches and knuckles at his nose, wiggling it in hope of easing the deep-seated itch. It doesn’t help.

Instead he feels his breath coming in shallow pants, makes an involuntary “ghhh” of a groan at how congested he feels. He manages to sneeze into his fist without more than a shudder of his head but then there’s another and another in a slow, exhausting fit with plenty of time for miserable sniffles in between.

He is hovering between one “ hh'nkt” and the next when he feels a tender arm on his shoulder as Caduceus scoots up closer to him. He rolls over obligingly until his head is cradled against the firbolg’s shoulder. In a moment their blankets are settled over both of them, welcoming him into a pool of shared body heat that makes him sigh in satisfaction.

It’s still recent enough to be novel, this sleeping together, still sends a flutter of joy through him that Caduceus is his now. They haven’t talked about what it means exactly, but he’s so glad of it, especially when he feels like this.

The moment is interrupted by a stinging itch in his nose and all he can do is buck his head and stifle a sneeze into Caduceus’ chest. His partner doesn’t flinch, just holds him tighter and lets it happen. “Bless you sweetheart. Are you done?”

He nods, then shakes his head and desperately crushes his nose into his fist for a hard double “--mmkx!--’nkt!”--- Repressing it makes his head spin. He relaxes again with a heavy sigh and turns to wipe his nose. He’s too congested for it to be messy, thank goodness. It feels like all the gunk is just stuck up in his head. At least he’s not noisy enough to wake the others.

“Poor thing. Feeling worse?” Caduceus notices. His bass voice is so low it is barely a rumble in his chest. Fjord thinks he feels the vibration rather than hears it.

“...yeah…” He admits.

“Such bad timing…” Caduceus sighs softly. “If we were back in the house, I have a very good soup recipe for this kind of thing. The hot tub would be good for you too. I could take care of you a little.”

Fjord snuffles thickly and sighs. That does sound good.

“Will you two SHUT UP!?”

That sounds less good. That would be Beauregard.

She has reason to be tense, which is why Fjord merely grunts “Sorry!” instead of snapping back. Her complaint is backed up by some light grumbling from Nott and by Caleb clearing his throat in a way that makes it clear he is also awake. Despite the safety of their position, it seems nobody is sleeping well tonight.

Fjord may as well try, though. He’s going to be groggy enough in the morning as it is and he wants a clear head for the confrontation with Beau’s family. Well, a metaphorical one at least.

He rolls over and closes his eyes, trying to will his mind away from his burning throat and the compulsive deserve to keep swallowing against it. He tries to reach for the place Caduceus has shown him in meditation; a lulled state where his body of least possible concern. It’s hard without his breathing as a reliable guide but he is beginning to manage it when he feels Caduceus tuck into the space behind him. A seven-foot tall firbolg makes a luxurious big spoon. It makes Fjord huff a laugh, which makes him cough.

Caduceus cuddles against him, bringing blessed warmth along with comfort. Long arms reach around to smooth his hair and linger on his forehead, rubbing right at the root of Fjord’s headache without even having to ask. It feels really good.

In the darkness of the dome he hears the heavier breathing that means Beauregard has fallen asleep. Jester turns over and makes an undeniably cute sound. Beneath Caduceus’ loving touch he feels the fatigue wash over him, pulling him down into sleep.

From the very cusp of consciousness, he senses Caleb rise and tiptoe to sit at the doorway beside Yasha, but feels no tug of concern. Let the two light sleepers keep each other company. He has everything he needs right here.

Fjord falls asleep to the sound of a gentle rain beginning to fall. He doesn’t dream of angry Gods. He doesn’t dream of anything at all.

#salamanderskin's fic #sickfic #hurt/comfort #teahaw

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elisaphoenix13 · 5 years

Text

The Doctor Is In

(5 times Stephen took care of Tony and Peter and 1 time they took care of him)

Stephen fled from the Tower the moment heavy metal music echoed through the surrounding floors of the lab. It wasn't that he hated the music, it was the fact that he knew exactly what it meant.

Tony and Peter were blowing things up.

He could meditate through a majority of things that went on in the Tower. Like if Clint and Sam took over their living room to play video games, Peter crawling all over the ceiling, Tony cursing at something he's tinkering with on the coffee table...or Clint crawling through the air vents. Their floor was constantly taken over by the other Avengers, and he had grown used to it, but explosions from the lab was another thing entirely. It was random and had different levels of noise that startled Stephen's astral form back into his body and left him momentarily confused and disoriented. Not a fun feeling.

Stephen sighs when Wong drops a stack of books on the table in front of him and he opens a single eye. "Do you mind?"

Wong ignores him as he sits down. "AC/DC?"

The sorcerer supreme stretches out in his chair. "Metallica."

"Wouldn't blasting music hurt Peter's ears?"

"He's used to it. He's usually the one controlling the volume anyway." Stephen slumps in his chair.

"How's motherhood treating you?" Wong grins.

Strange groans. "Not you too. How did you know?"

"Tony calls you Mama Bear almost all the time. It was obvious." Wong flips through one of the books. "...and I heard Peter call you Mom."

"That boy will be the death of me."

"I thought I saw some more grey hair."

He wouldn't be surprised. Both Peter and Tony had very little consideration for self-preservation to the point that...well...they were blowing things up in the lab. He could confidently bet the Eye of Agamotto that he would go home to at least one of them in need of first aid. Bruce only helped them in emergencies for how often they got themselves into trouble. He was tired of fishing glass out of broken skin because of a stupid idea.

"I'm tempted to cover them in bubble wrap so I can have a minute of peace without having to worry about what trouble they're getting into."

"Your domesticity is nauseating."

Stephen smirks. "You're just jealous."

"Hardly."

Stephen's phone starts ringing and he looks at the screen, sighs, and answers.

"Yes Spiderling?"

"Holy crap! Where are you?! Dad got knocked out by the fire extinguisher--"

Stephen coughs to hide his laugh. He was definitely going to watch today's recording of the lab to see how that happened. "I'll be there shortly."

He hangs up before Peter can utter another word and glances at Wong.

"What's the damage this time?"

Stephen grins. "Technical knockout by a fire extinguisher."

Wong laughs.

_______________________

"Peter I swear--" A Lego smacks painlessly against Stephen's forehead. "Did you just throw a Lego at me?!"

The teen flattens himself against the ceiling. "That was my venom! I'm a spider!"

The Vishanti are testing me.

Peter had just recently gotten all of his wisdom teeth pulled and was on very strong pain killers. Something Stephen prayed he would never have to give the boy again because he was a menace. Peter refused to stay in bed and had taken to the ceiling instead, leaving Stephen no choice but to follow him and try to coax him down. He hoped to whatever entity that was listening that the boy wouldn't fall and hurt himself.

The first thing he tried was Levi but Peter stubbornly clung to the ceiling so he had to wave the cloak off from that attempt. Bribing him with ice cream was a dead end as well.

"Spiderling, you don't spit venom." Then another idea came to mind and Stephen didn't know why he didn't think if it before. "How does a movie night with cuddles sound?"

Peter looks at the sorcerer and seems to think over his offer. "'Kay."

Peter was a sucker for physical contact no matter how high he was.

Stephen sighs with relief when the teen moves down from the ceiling and immediately clings to the older man's front like a baby. The sorcerer wraps his arms around Peter to hold him steady, and makes his way back to the boy's bedroom where he gently deposits his burden. He murmurs to the boy to stay while he leaves to change into something more comfortable, and thankfully returns to Peter's room a couple minutes later to find the boy curled up under his blankets.

"Where's Dad?"

"At an Accords meeting. He'll be back by dinner." Strange slips into bed next to Peter and the teen wastes no time in curling up against him. "What do you want to watch Spider-Baby?"

"Disney movie."

Stephen has Karen (Tony connected Peter's AI to his bedroom) start a Disney movie, and gently strokes brown curls. It didn't take long for Peter to pass out between the ministrations and snuggling. One would think the boy was touch starved.

_____________

The tower was calm. Peter was at school and Tony was at a meeting, so Stephen felt he could relax. He really should have known better. As soon as he stretched out on the couch with an actual book not related to the mystic artes, Tony strode out of the elevator with blood streaming down his temple. The sorcerer sighs when his boyfriend flops onto the couch when he sits up, and he retrieves the first aid kit and some ice through a couple of small portals.

"I'd ask how your meeting went but that would be pointless."

Tony hisses when Stephen applies some antiseptic. "The meeting was fine. The private meeting Ross wanted...not so much."

"Just say the word and I can have him free-falling for a couple of hours."

"That would be counter productive since I'm trying to keep you and Peter out of the Accords. You're both special cases."

The doctor finishes by applying a butterfly bandage and then hands Tony the ice. The engineer did have legitimate reasons for keeping Stephen and Peter away. Stephen was the Sorcerer Supreme, and had a responsibility to protect the world from magical attacks. Peter was simply underage.

"Head feeling better?" Stephen asks softly.

Tony nods and grimaces as he places the ice pack on his head. "I think I'll live."

Scott slips into the living room and sits in an armchair sipping at a juice pouch. "Hey Strange, your Mama Bear is showing."

"That better not be Peter's Capri Sun."

"Case and point." He grins and loudly sucks every last drop.

"Quit raiding my fridge Lang." Tony snarks.

"Quit buying all the good stuff." Scott kicks his legs up onto the coffee table and turns on the t.v.

Stephen simply laid out on the couch again with his legs across Tony's lap and read while the other two watched reruns of Friends. He would take the quiet while he could. It was a rare occurrence.

____________________

"Doctor Strange, you have an incoming call from Peter." Victor calls from his bracelet.

Stephen sighs and puts his tea down to pull his phone out of his pocket. He was at school so either he had gotten into trouble (Not likely unless it was an attack an earth kind) or he wasn't feeling well. Something still unlikely because of the spider bite.

"What's wrong Spiderling?" The sorcerer asks when he accepts the call.

"Uh...Doctor Strange?" That was not Peter. In fact it sounded like...

"Ned? Where's Peter?"

"We're in the boy's bathroom on the second floor. I think Peter is going through a sensory overload."

Shit. That was the one thing that Peter truly hated. "Alright. I'll be there in just a minute."

Stephen hangs up, uses his magic to change into his street clothes, and then opens a portal to just around the corner to the school. With long strides, he shoves his way through pedestrians and into the school and makes a quick stop in the office.

"I'm here to pick up Peter Parker." The secretary looks up, blushes, and reaches for the intercom phone until Stephen reaches out and stops her. "Please don't. He's not feeling well and the intercom will only make things worse. I know where he is if I may go get him myself."

The woman quickly gathers herself. "Of course sir. I just need your name and have you sign him out."

When he relayed his name to her, she looked at him with a mixture of confusion and skepticism, but thankfully cleared him to retrieve Peter. She was probably wondering where his robes were since he was dressed like any other person.

Stephen rushes out of the office and up the stairs and to his relief finds the bathrooms fairly quickly. He wrinkles his nose in disgust as he walks in but says nothing when he spots Peter curled in the corner with his hands over his ears. Ned looks up and relief crosses his features as he promptly moves away from his best friend and the doctor takes his place and gently pulls Peter's hands down.

"I'll get you home in just a second Spiderling." Strange looks up at Ned and accepts Peter's backpack from him. "Thank you for calling me."

Ned nods. "I can call him later and tell him what his homework is."

"I'm sure he would appreciate that."

He then turns and opens a portal, the sound of the sparks drawing a whimper from the suffering teen beside him, and Stephen ignores his breaking heart as he helps Peter through. He closes the portal and leads the teen to his bed where Peter quickly sheds everything but his boxers to, Stephen assumed, get rid of his itchy clothing.

"Karen, Overload Protocol please."

In an instant, the window is covered, the lights are dimmed, and Peter finally relaxes when the room is soundproof and nearly dark. Stephen gently lays the covers over his son and Peter cracks open an eye in response.

"Mom?" Peter croaks out.

"Just relax Spider-Baby."

Peter nods and rolls onto his side before settling against his pillow.

_____________________

An explosion startles both Stephen and Happy from their naps on their respective couches, and both jump to their feet before rushing down to the lab. The sorcerer punches in the code to open the lab door and he looks around the trashed and smoking lab for Peter and Tony, faintly registering that DUM-E was successfully taking care of any fires. He soons spots the engineer slumped against the wall and he rushes over before kneeling down to examine him and tend to his injuries.

"I've got Peter!" The bodyguard yells from the other side of the room. "He looks fine. Just knocked out!"

Stephen exhales when he finds Tony in the same condition. "Tony is the same. It must have been a repulsor explosion."

Tony groans and slowly opens his eyes. "Peter..."

"He's alright. What happened?"

The billionaire stands with the doctor's help and rubs the back of his head. "One of my gauntlets short-circuited."

Happy approaches them with a smirk. "The kid just woke up and he's talking a mile a minute. I'm pretty sure he's fine. I'm going back upstairs to finish my nap."

Tony rolls his eyes as Happy leaves the lab and both parents walk over to Peter to find him patting DUM-E.

"Good job putting out the fire buddy. Now Dad won't have to donate you to a community college." The robot trills at the praise.

"Now FRIDAY is risking reprogramming." Tony says irritably.

"I tried to warn you Boss but you didn't listen." Could AI be annoyed? FRIDAY definitely sounded annoyed.

"That sounds like something you would do." Stephen drawls and Tony throws his arms up.

"Traitors! I'm scrapping FRIDAY and breaking up with you!"

Peter looks up at Tony's declaration and watches the couple in alarm, but Stephen simply smiles and the teen relaxes and turns his attention back to DUM-E. The poor kid really feared that his family was going to fall apart over something trivial and it hurt Stephen. It really showed how much Peter loved them.

"You won't have anyone to kiss your boo-boos then."

Tony stares at Stephen until he barks out a laugh that turns into something hysterical. "That's true. Brucie isn't the type." He finally wheezes out.

Stephen then decided to take it a step further. "Besides, if we break up, I'm taking Peter."

The boy himself pouts. "Don't drag me into your marital problems."

"Okay, first of all kid, we have to be married to have marital problems. Second, Stephanie, he was my kid first."

"You guys might as well get married. You already act like an old married couple." Peter grumbles and the older two glance at each other.

"...and there's the headache I get from dealing with you two." Stephen says and rubs his temples.

_____________________

Stephen groggily opens his eyes when a cool hand finds itself on his forehead and he purrs when he finds Tony leaning over him. Something he would completely deny later because he wasn't even aware he could even make that noise.

"Feeling under the weather Mama Bear?"

"I'm fine."

"I'll believe that when you stop trying to hack up a lung while you're sleeping."

The sorcerer bats Tony's hand away and sits up, only for his boyfriend's hand to settle on his chest to stop him from getting up. It was weird for him to be fussed over and he also wasn't about to let a cold keep him from the research he needed to do.

"If you put one foot on the floor I am going to sic Peter on you."

That actually got Stephen's attention. Tony had gotten sick a few weeks back and when Peter got wind of it, he hovered. The teen took it upon himself to make sure that the engineer took some medicine, fed him, and even checked in on him to make sure he was resting. Stephen found it hilarious and let the boy help take care of Tony as long as he didn't disturb him.

To be on the receiving end of that though? That was a scary thought. He was the doctor in the family. He was supposed to worry about them, no matter how many headaches that might cause, not the other way around.

So he laid back down.

"That's what I thought. The only acceptable reason for you to get out of bed is for the bathroom."

"Asshole."

"I love you too Mama Bear. Now let us take care of you." Tony kisses his forehead. "I'll send Peter in with some water and pills."

Stephen glares up at him. "You're going to let him hover anyway?"

Tony frowns. "He already knows you're sick. He promised not to hover."

"...fine."

After Tony left the bedroom, Stephen expected Peter to stumble in a couple minutes later.

He never did.

Tony was the one to bring him whatever he needed, and the doctor immediately knew something was wrong. It took him a few minutes to think about what happened, but then he finally remembered Peter's enhanced hearing. The boy probably heard his parents' earlier conversation and assumed Stephen didn't want to be bothered by him and decided to stay away and respect his wishes.

Just the thought squeezed the sorcerer's heart painfully.

Precious, wonderful Peter ignored his own insecurities so Mom could rest without disruption.

Tony's cellphone ringing pulls Stephen out of his own head and he watches as the older man looks at the screen. He grimaces in irritation before pocketing the phone and places a glass of water on the nightstand by Stephen.

"Pepper needs me for something SI related."

Stephen waves him away. "I'll be fine. I'll have FRIDAY annoy Bruce if I need something."

Tony opens his mouth as if to say something but seems to think better of it and closes his mouth again. Stephen relaxes against his pillow when the billionaire leaves and allows himself to doze off until a thud and a soft curse wakes him later in the evening. Blue eyes blink open at the disturbance and he immediately makes eye contact with doe-like brown eyes wide with horror.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you! I'm only in here because Dad asked me to check on you. Y-You're obviously fine so I'll...go. Yeah." Peter turns to leave and Stephen quickly reaches out and grabs his sleeve.

"Come here Spiderling."

"I swear I wasn't hovering!"

Stephen smiles softly and pulls the younger onto the bed next to him. "You can watch tv if you want...just keep me company."

The horror slowly eases away as the sorcerer pulls him into a hug, and Peter quietly turns on the tv with low volume. If this wasn't enough to show his son he wasn't bothered, he didn't know what was. He really did need the company though. After living in the chaos of the tower for months, the quiet was unnerving.

Stephen found that he really didn't mind.

#stephen strange #tony stark #peter parker #wong #ned leeds #scott lang #mama bear stephen strange #5 +1 #ironstrange #supremefamily

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kristannafever-fics · 5 years

Text

Sleepless

Kristanna Modern AU

Rated: MA (tw in tags / swearing)

WC: 1296

Chapter Index

~ I posted a snippet of this a while back. I wrote it over a year ago almost to completion then left it for a long time. Now it’s finally done so I’ll share, even though it’s a little out there.

------------------------------------

The street was always the quietest at three in the morning. It was when there was virtually nothing happening, except for Kristoff’s constant vigil from the sofa chair in his darkened living room.

He had lost count of how many nights it was in which he was unable to sleep. It seemed like it had started so long ago that he no longer knew a life other than carrying the weight of exhaustion with him wherever he went. He wasn’t his true self, hadn’t been for a long time.

It was the same every night. He would go to sleep around ten, hoping and praying that it would be the night he finally broke the curse that seemed to have befallen him. Then around two in the morning, every morning, his eyes sprang open and was unable to sleep another wink despite how tired he was.

Every night. Every fucking night.

Some days he was so tired when he got home from work, that he’d stagger over to the couch and pass out for twenty minutes or so. But he’d always wake before getting any good amount of rest and he actually felt worse than before. He couldn’t understand how he always seemed to wake up more tired from a nap. How the small amount of compensation for the disaster of nighttime, did nothing but seem to do more damage.

His attempt to go to sleep at an earlier time had simply left him staring at his ceiling for countless hours, listening to the world outside while light still streamed in through his curtains. As many times as he tried it, he always seemed to finally reach sleep when the clock was hovering around ten.

He tried staying up until midnight once in hopes that he’d be too tired to wake up at his usual time. His disappointment, and how disastrous he felt when he woke up at 2:13 that morning completely unable to get back to sleep, made him feel utterly hopeless.

Night after night, day after day, there was no change. Weekends were no exception. The only solace then was that he didn’t have to drag his zombie ass to work. He would sit on his couch and watch mindless television and contemplate his options.

He tired everything under the sun to try and break the curse. He tried warm milk before bed, he tried chamomile tea, he tried not eating after eight, not eating at all, eating a ton and filling his stomach in hopes to make him sleepy enough. None of that worked.

He tired counting sheep, reading, going for a quick walk, meditation, imagination - which he discovered he was severely lacking - changing his pillow, replacing his mattress and bedding, seeing a professional for help, smoking weed, herbal medicine and natural remedies.

Nothing. He still woke up around two in the morning.

The witching hour as he came to think of it.

He tried sleep studies. They said they had no idea why he couldn’t sleep. He got several physicals. Except for the fact that he felt tired all the time, he was fit as a fiddle. He tired three different shrinks who seemed equally stumped by his predicament. He tried sleeping aids. When he woke up at two feeling like he was having an out of body experience, he vowed never to take drugs to try and sleep ever again.

Pacing his house didn’t work, watching television didn’t work, the white noise machine didn’t work, a quiet radio didn’t work. Neither did the ear plugs and the sleep mask, or the window open, or closed. Going on a diet did nothing. Trying to calm himself with creativity like painting did nothing. Masturbating did nothing.

He got himself drunk once in a desperate attempt to pass out and not wake up until the late morning. He passed out alright, until his eyes sprung open at 2:00 on the dot and he had to get up, dizzy and feeling sick to his stomach because he couldn’t stand to be laying down anymore with the room spinning about him. He retched in the toilet and sat in the chair in his living room until his boss was awake and he called in sick. He was unable to nap, despite feeling the worst he’d ever felt in his entire life, and that included when he got sick with a violet stomach flu a couple months prior.

This morning was like any other. He lay in bed for twenty minutes or so, then he would get up and get dressed for work. He began to hate too much noise when he was tired, so he sat in his chair and watched the street in the quiet darkness of his house.

The occasional car would pass. Sometimes he’d see a cop car drive by. Often there were Cabs. Sometimes there was someone walking in the middle of the night, but it was rare. Then at three in the morning the world stopped. Nothing happened out his window for an entire hour, until he watched the world wake up and desperately wished that he was waking up with them.

Mr. Douglas would walk by first with his little beagle. Ever since his wife passed away and he got himself a dog, he was out there every morning at 4:00, rain or shine with a smile on his face, happy to walk his furry companion.

The first bus of the day would rumble past shortly after. Kristoff would be on one later when it was time for him to go to work. He decided a long time ago that he was too dangerous behind the wheel. He had dozed off one night, startled awake only because the truck bounced off the curb, jarring him into consciousness. Ten seconds later he had to slam on the breaks to prevent hitting someone in a crosswalk. It scared him so much that he decided that he’d never drive again.

After the first bus, he’d see a young couple jog by. He assumed they lived the next block over because he never saw them any other time during the day, but they ran past his house every morning.

Then more cars would drive by, more people walking. The college kids who rented the house next to him would pile into an old van and head to school. The sky got lighter, the world woke up, and Kristoff watched it, day after day.

Today however, there was something different.

His new neighbor, the one right across the street from him, was just pulling into the driveway as the clock read five thirty.

He recalled seeing a moving van on Saturday, then lights on in the house when he was awake at three on Sunday morning. Other than that, he had not had a glimpse of his new neighbor. Until now.

She got out of her car, dressed in blue scrubs and stretched her back. She was tiny - short and petite, and she wore her copper hair in braids that hung down her shoulders. She walked around to the passenger door of her car and opened it to grab a backpack. Then she walked slowly up to her house and went inside.

That was it.

Kristoff sighed and lifted himself from the chair. Time to eat breakfast and get a move on. He didn’t have to catch the bus for another two hours, but even simple things like making himself toast and packing a lunch seemed to take an extremely long amount of time. He supposed if he had a more labour-intensive job he would probably have been fired already. He just didn’t have any pep in his step anymore and he was becoming genuinely terrified that it would never come back.

Next Chapter

#sleepless #cee wrote this mess #kristanna #kristanna modern au #kristoff #anna #tw: suicidal thoughts #are very briefly hinted at #which is why i made it MA #its angsty for sure #but we all know it's going to end better than it starts lol!#i definitely should be working on finishing my other wips #but you know how it goes #at least this story is finished #over 20k words - nine chapters and an epilogue #and to be honest thing is one of my favourite things i have written #not too sure why #wish i would have thought of a better title though

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ashleysheatz · 5 years

Text

My FULL Testimony:

trigger warning: I mention some very hard things to read for some. proceed with caution! and don’t read this if you are not an adult.

My name is Ashley Huizar and this is how Jesus Christ changed my life. I never grew up in a religious-based household, or with anyone who was seeking for truth. I lived with my mother my entire life since she and my dad never married, and they split up when I was 3 yrs old. At a very young age, I was exposed to lots of sexual immorality such as pornography and crude, sexual talk. This soon led me to get enslaved in the sin of indulging in pornography as young as 11 or 12 yrs old and this continued for many years. At 15 years old I became VERY rebellious. I was promiscuous, jumping from relationship to relationship, smoking, sneaking out at night, lying to my mother where I was going, drinking, and partying. Not too long after, I soon began to dabble into New Age, Hinduism, Buddhism, The Occult, Yoga, Shamanism, and other DARK and DECEPTIVE false religions. I began collecting many books on these topics and my library was overflowing. I got super drawn into the yoga/hippie way of living…I ended up getting dreadlocks around 16 yrs old, then began a life of a toxic pattern, and at 16-17 years old I really began to go downhill. At 16 - I began going to desert/rave gatherings with many drugged out people, and no police or authority to watch over anyone. I was going to these, camping away from home full weekends at a time without my mother or father ever really knowing. I got into doing party drugs while thinking I HAD to do these things in order to be ‘spiritual.’ At 17, I had a boyfriend who was 23 years old and he introduced me into psychedelic drugs such as LSD, Mushrooms, DMT, etc. I began doing these drugs thinking I had to engage in them in order to reach some higher, esoteric level of enlightenment, or reach a sort of ‘’god consciousness.’’ I began to really lose my mind and have numerous bad trips, memory loss, psychosis and saw lots of demonic activity in and around me. I even ran away to Vegas for an entire two weeks without talking to any family and continued to be brainwashed by this man and taken advantage of immensely. After that relationship, I had another one who was into the same thing. Older, and had access to psychedelics. The cycle began to REPEAT. I was used, and abused more than a few times at this age. I was naive and indulged in any drug I was given and began to really lose myself, my family, and my identity. A similar thing happened at 17 with a 50-year-old man who went by the name Broly in the festival world. He claimed to be God, and that he was here to save my soul. He manipulated me, gave me drugs, and did horrible things to me and kept telling me this was the truth and that he was the way to spiritual awakening. I was SO brainwashed. He even had his own published religion that seemed very real to me. Granted, I was already brainwashed by many other false religions. (I had NO clue what the gospel really was, or who Jesus was at the time) After escaping that very toxic ‘relationship’ I began to get heavily addicted to a drug called ketamine. I began changing my name on Facebook and barely talked to my family. I was very, very lost. This continued on the whole year. When I was 18, I moved out to New Mexico with my boyfriend at the time, and continued to smoke, drink, practice yoga and even got into prostitution online. I sold myself virtually online by videos, pictures, etc. I lived here for maybe about 4 months, until I packed up my bags, got on a train and left. I was talking to my family a bit more, but not much. I came back to my dads’ house, left my bags, stayed home for maybe a day then left to the desert with friends for another rave. The same routine continued, and I ended up meeting someone from this rave, and he wanted me to come to Santa Barbara with him, so, I did. I stayed in a hotel with this person I did not know, camped out in parks, and was HEAVILY using the drug ketamine again. This time, it was for 3 days straight, almost nonstop. I was barely eating, or drinking water at this time. Then, we stayed at his friend’s house and I began mixing drugs. I began to fall out of consciousness and was very disoriented. I passed out for a while, then when I awoke again, something was VERY wrong. My vision became very narrow, and the colors were dark around me. I started crying and instinctively screaming at the top of my lungs, telling them to let me out of the room, and they refused. They were holding the door closed and my body switched instantly into fight or flight, I began trying to fight them in order to get out, and get help because I was close to death. I tried breaking out of their window, breaking their blinds…Finally, I got out and ran screaming for help. The only closest thing to help was a dentist's office. I ran inside screaming that I was drugged, raped, and in need of help. I told them to look up my dad and to please call him. The last thing I remembered was falling to the ground and having 3-4 painful seizures. My parents told me after that I had to be strapped down because of how intense my seizure was from overdosing. I was in complete darkness, yet still fully conscious. I was not aware of what was going on in reality because all I was aware of was darkness, pain, and my body's out of control shaking. I did not even know that I went in an ambulance to get to the emergency room. After the overdose, I went through recovery and had to get treatment there at the hospital because I was in bad shape. My dad drove all the way from San Diego to rescue me and after being able to come home, my dad sat me down and said, ‘’Ashley. Something HAS to change or you are going to die. This path you have chosen ONLY leads to death. I could have lost you.’’ So, I cut my dreadlocks off and went sober for a while, but by my own strength & self-effort which was soon to fail. After months of being sober, I for the last time fell into the same toxic pattern and I left to Oregon for a month. My dad had bought me a plane ticket and a pass to go to Guatemala for the whole month of October alone for a Yoga Certification course to become a teacher. I had told him about this a year before, and this was the plan. So, after a month of living in Oregon, I came back home to prepare for Guatemala. Little did I know, the Lord was beginning to draw me. As I look back, I see His providential hand always at work. The fact that he kept me alive all of those years astonishes me. A few days before my trip - I came across a youtube video. I cannot remember what it was called, but all I remembered is that it said ‘’All of the yoga, chakras, Hinduism, and meditation are HIDING Jesus from you. It is blinding you to the truth.’’ I began to weep and pace back and forth saying to myself, ‘’No way. There is NO way this 'spiritual' life I have been living is a lie.’’ After pushing this video away, I began to really question everything I had been doing. Fast forward - I go to Guatemala the whole month to study Yoga deeper. I had studied yoga since I was about 15 years old and was drawn to the false spirituality it promised. The chief end goal of Yoga is something called "moksha." It is to basically merge with this divine consciousness and come into union with Brahman (the false impersonal force). It is completely rooted in Hinduism and cannot be mixed with Christianity for dark and light do not mix. During the trip, I was with yogis, witches, spiritists, and surrounded by lost people who thought they knew the truth, myself being one of them. I was realizing how empty I felt, and how much I was internally hurting. There were many days I just wanted to go home. After a month, I ended up getting certified, passed all my yoga classes and assignments, then I got to go home. After being home again, my search continued. The devil REALLY began trying to keep me blinded and deceived. I started to become very attracted to Jesus’ name. I first began to see His Hebrew name, Yeshua. I kept saying, ‘’Who IS this Yeshua?’’ After days of studying Gnosticism, I was on my knees by my bed and was weeping. All of these false religions had NO foundation. They were SO confusing and all I could think was, ‘’I have been searching to find something spiritual for 4 years now, I am SO SICK of seeking.’’ and I began crying out to the God I did not know at the time, but He knew me. I was crying on my knees just yelling, ‘’PLEASE GOD, I don’t know if you are real, but WHO are you…Please, I need you. I am SO broken.’’ Perhaps a day or so later, in God’s Sovereignty I come across another youtube video like before. This time it was ALL about how God is Sovereign, how He is in control of ALL things, and how Jesus alone is the truth, the way, and the life. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiBgiOSsC-k&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3sF7B27ZLx6tvJNXiFiDU4TedTRmimaPI9v8oqnFe6MJVEyY7VET7VGbA I began to cry so much. I am talking about INTENSE tears, but this time tears of JOY. Tears of astonishment. My blinders were lifted this day by the Holy Spirit. He opened my eyes to the truth of Jesus, and I felt a huge weight lift off of me. I kept my eyes above towards heaven and kept saying, ‘’Thank you.’’ With tears in my eyes just thanking God. The attacks from satan began to come upon me right after trying to keep me again, blinded. That day I called the only brother Christian I knew all my life in tears asking him to please help me, because I need to know what is next and what is real. He said he would meet with me on December 9th. On December 8th, I got in contact with a friend who was deep into New Age and I hung out with him to tell him about this video and how I really feel this is the truth. Nothing has ever felt MORE REAL to me than the truth of Christ, I would tell him. He would not listen. So, I stopped talking about it. That day, he said he wanted me to do this psychedelic drug with him, and fear rose in me. But I said yes because of pride. I remember the fear I felt going back to his house to do this drug. I truly believe the Lord was trying to direct me out of this situation. The fear and the resistance I felt was something I had never felt before. The feeling finally that this was WRONG. But I still did it. I remember thinking of my dad, and family and was grieved. All I thought to myself was, ‘’This could be it. This may be the final straw, and I might actually die this time.’’ People would do this drug called ‘’DMT’’ to try and ‘’reach God’’ or ‘’source.’’ I remember my friend asked me, ‘’How much do you want?’’ I shrugged. He said, ‘’I’ll send give you enough to send you to source.’’ I remember thinking, ‘’I might actually die…’’ My heart was beating so fast. But, by God’s grace, He kept me safe under His protection, and this drug had no affect on me. It made me shut my eyes, but I snapped out of it quickly. My friend talked about seeing faces, hearing voices, and getting spiritual insight. I was truly grateful that I was okay and did not go through past experiences such as seizures, fainting, etc. After this, I told my friend I had to go because I was going to be meeting with my friend who is a Christian tomorrow. He was shocked. December 9th, it was the day of my salvation. My surrender. Before meeting with my Brother in Christ I remember thoughts of the enemy instilling in my mind to cancel the meeting, but God was stronger and of course, I still met with him. We talked, prayed and cried. The day lasted about 9 hours. My friend walked me through the gospel and I surrendered to Christ that night. He gave me his Bible and instructed me to read through the gospels immediately and pray constantly. After praying and surrendering to the Lord that night, I got a trash bag and ripped all the tapestries off my wall, all my new age pictures, dream catchers, crystals, tarot cards, BOOKS, IDOLS, and more - I threw it all away. Trashed it. I did not care what my family was going to say. My grandma that night said to me, ‘’You can’t just change like that.’’ I looked up toward the sky and said, ‘’This is the truth. Yes I can.’’ Because it was all THE LORD. HE OPENED MY EYES. He gifted me the gift of faith, repentance and supernaturally caused me to be born-again. This was the beginning of my upward journey because of Jesus Christ. All desires for any drug left me. I have not craved any drug since the date I was saved. In 2018 the Lord freed me from sexual immorality, and addiction to pornography after about 7 years. He freed me from drug addiction and healed MANY wounds in my heart that year. I had MANY restless, and sleepless nights because of spiritual attacks, & flashbacks in dreams, but I continued to daily fight in prayer on my knees, and continued to renew my mind through the reading of His Word, meditating on His Word, continual worship, praise, and abiding in joy, sorrows, or anguish... He continues to show Himself faithful to me, and cause my heart to OVERFLOW with love, and adoration of Him. Daily. It is a DAILY fight to stay in His presence and abide in Him, but it is the ONLY fight that is worth it. Jesus has truly transformed my heart in ways I never imagined possible. I now desire above all to be a godly wife and mother at home and I run all my social media accounts to proclaim the gospel and the truth of Jesus Christ! He died for me, now I live for Him!

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ( 1 Peter 1:3 )

For those who have never heard the gospel, this is it:

We have ALL broken God’s commandments and are deserving of eternal hell. God is a JUST and HOLY God who MUST punish guilty sinners for their iniquity. But God, being RICH IN MERCY, compassion, and love was made manifest in the person of Jesus Christ, 2000 years ago. He was born of a virgin, conceived by the Holy Spirit and He lived a perfect, sinless, and righteous life that we COULD NEVER live. We have all sinned. He did not sin once. As fully man, and fully God, Jesus Christ emptied Himself and took on the role of a servant to obey God perfectly and fulfill His will here on earth. Jesus was tempted in ALL areas, yet remained sinless. Our sinless and perfect Lord CHOSE to die on that cross,

No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.” (John 10:18)

Jesus CHOSE to be crucified. He was nailed to that tree and BORE ALL OF OUR SINS, and He drank the cup of God’s wrath. He DRANK your hell. And on the third day, Jesus Christ rose from the grave by the power of the Spirit, defeating death & hell forever. Death could not hold Him, and now He is ALIVE. He died for you, so that you may live eternally with HIM. To be reconciled to HIM. Now, what must you do in order to be saved? You must REPENT, (turn from your sins; 180 degree turn from sin and run to Christ) confess your sins, humble yourself and TRUST ALONE in Christ. No good works wills save you.

because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

Romans 5:8: God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 6:23: The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:32: He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

2 Corinthians 5:21: For our sake, he made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 8:9: You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake, He became poor so that you by His poverty might become rich.

1 Timothy 1:15: The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

1 John 4:10: In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Revelation 5:9: “Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood, you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.”

I have now graduated high school after dropping out at a young age, I start college in the fall, I am now in the process of writing a book and working two jobs unto the glory of God! His saving grace is MIGHTY.

God bless you all!

I’m alive, because He lives!

#mine #my testimony #jesus saves #personal testimony #Bible #biblestudy #Christian #jesus christ

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Laws of Motion / Chapter 4 (Trixya) - DenDenMonMon

A/N:

A lot is going to happen in this chapter, and I mean A LOT.

I would like to formally apologize in advance.

For your attention, thank you.

-Monkey

AO3 Link

Chapter 4 - White.

Katya liked to keep herself busy. A mind as hyperactive as hers needed a specific task to focus on, otherwise, she would be a burning ball of unrestrainable energy. So, she liked to concentrate her efforts into a series of small chores that, as a whole, would contribute into something bigger. It wasn’t always easy to keep her head in the game. More often than not she had to be railed back on track. Ginger was an expert on doing that, but Ginger wasn’t around anymore. Now, she needed to get herself in check, and it wasn’t easy.

That day, as any other, she went to her yoga class first thing in the morning. That was the beauty of Los Angeles, Angelinos were so concerned about their fitness that it wasn’t hard to find work out classes at, pretty much, any hour of the day.

With her energy channeled for the day, or at least for the next few hours, she drove to her favorite coffee shop. She liked Priscilla’s because it looked like a bookstore more than an actual café. The decorations were earthy and warm, and there were always a lot of dogs. The best part was that it wasn’t right in the middle of the city, with too many people coming and going to allow her to concentrate. The twenty minute drive over the hill was worth the calmness of Toluca Lake.

And she needed calmness today, of all days.

She sat down on a table outside, bringing a coffee cup and a cigarette to her lips, alternately. If she had to die of something, it better be of this insanely satisfying combination.

Files were not supposed to leave the station, everybody knew that, but Katya had taken a few pictures out. The first one was the blown out image of the card they had found at the first crime scene. She knew she had seen that before, just couldn’t remember where. It was right there, in a compartment of her imaginary, but she couldn’t find the right vault. And she pictured herself, running in the hallways of her head, guided by smoke and fueled by caffeine, pulling all the imagery she had saved throughout the years, yet never picking the correct one. It was right there, and she couldn’t get a hold of it.

It was like seeing someone, that Katya knew she had met before, but couldn’t remember their name. Then spending the entire day wondering where she knew them from, coming up with nothing.

The anxiety of the situation kept making her skin crawl. She closed her eyes and tried a few meditation techniques to ease her nerves. It didn’t work very well. That was when the second cigarette came.

She picked up her phone, the white stick still secured between her fingers, and started texting. It was risky, she shouldn’t be doing it, but she didn’t know what else to do.

Another picture Katya had with her was of one of the crime scenes. The girl had her eyes lost in the middle of nowhere, and her mouth was slightly opened. Her skin was pale, since all the blood had been drained from her body. It looked like an image taken out of a scary movie, which intrigued Katya even more. There was something about this particular criminal that she simply couldn’t wrap her mind around.

One of the reasons why she was so good at her job was because she was able to canalize the killer’s instincts. Her coworkers would joke about Katya having the mind of a killer, but not the guts to actually do it. They were probably right. She could usually feel it in her bones. She could feel the motive behind the actions, the rush of the preparation, the satisfaction of actually doing it; in a weird way she was familiar with all of those. Nonetheless, her mind was empty when dealing with The Puppeteer. It was an unnerving feeling that she had never experienced before, and she didn’t like it at all.

Her phone was silent until the butt of the third cigarette found the ashtray. The affirmation had come. It was time to get things moving.

The message she sent Trixie was very vague. Trixie read it many times, even showed it to Jasmine, to see if they could figure it out together. From what they gathered, Katya was picking Trixie up that night, she needed to be wearing civilian clothes because they were going to some sort of party. All of that also meant they wouldn’t see her at the precinct all day. Trixie wanted to be mad, she knew Katya was extremely talented. Trixie had never met anyone as smart as Katya before, never. Yet, Trixie felt she was the only one really working the case while Katya was out and about, taking a day off to herself.

Jasmine, in her very understanding nature, told her to give Katya a chance. She always knew what she was doing. Trixie was advised to trust whatever Katya had in mind, that it could be a little out there, but it would surely get the job done.

Violet chimed in, and with a dry tone she told Trixie not to judge Katya’s process. It hadn’t been a request.

So, that was what Trixie did. In the early evening, she waited for Katya at the back of the building, as she had asked, wearing a short dress, white denim jacket and white go-go boots. Her makeup was exaggeratedly done, making her look more beautiful than ever.

“Hello, Barbie doll,” Katya greeted her as she pulled up next to her.

Trixie rolled her eyes and got in the passenger seat. “This better be good.”

They drove for a few minutes. The sun was still shining, even when the clock was about to hit seven in the evening. The sun rays hit their faces as they moved down Laurel Canyon. Trixie was still sulking in her seat, after having to work alone all day. Katya was unbothered, singing to every single song that came up on the radio. Her voice was loud, and incredibly off key. She changed the words constantly. Trixie could never get behind such crude bathroom humor, but Katya seemed to love singing about taking dumps in inappropriate places.

It was hard to keep up with the made up lyrics, especially when Trixie needed to pay attention to the road for both of them. The path was narrow and the turns were too close together. Katya behind the wheel was already dangerous by itself, having her distracted by the radio in such delicate road, felt more than Trixie could take.

They were about to reach Hollywood Boulevard, the residential side, not the one with the big neon lights and tourists filling the streets, when Katya took a turn and stopped the car in an alley. The walls around them were covered in beautiful graffiti. Trixie got lost in the eyes of a gorgeous fairy before she realized they had parked.

“Did I ever tell you…” Katya stopped, flickering her lighter a couple of times before she could light up her cigarette. “Did I ever tell you why I became a cop?”

Trixie shook her head. They both knew she hadn’t.

Katya blew the smoke out the window before returning her attention to her. “I had an amazing childhood. My parents were the most supportive. They never censored anything, not the music we listened to, nor the TV shows or movies that we watched. Picture the most perfect environment for a kid to grow, and I still managed to screw things up.”

It was like a vision. The sun was setting behind them, the smoke leaving Katya’s mouth was enchanting, and the serious tone of her voice was freaking Trixie out. She didn’t say anything, though, she allowed her to continue.

“I love drugs,” Katya said with a groan. “I fucking love drugs, Trixie. Every drug under the sun, you name it, I’ve done it. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me. They also almost got me killed,” she ended her sentence very matter-of-factly, which was a complete contrast to Trixie’s shocked expression.

“Oh, wow,” was all Trixie could let out.

Katya shrugged her shoulders. “Almost, that’s the keyword here. That was a really long time ago. I’m all good now. All clean.” She took what looked like a coin from the cupholder, toyed with it for a bit and put it back.

Trixie had enough knowledge to recognize it was an anniversary chip from AA.

“I went to rehab,” Katya confirmed Trixie’s silent assumptions. “Got my shit together… well, as together as I could.” She laughed dryly at her own words. “And then decided to fix my wrong doing by helping others, so I became a detective. Call it a Step Nine taken too far.”

All that information was taking a moment for Trixie to absorb, but she nodded her head. Maybe the full depth of the situation wasn’t really something she could understand, but she wanted to let Katya know that she was there for her.

“Now, about tonight. I had to make some phone calls,” Katya continued. “Reconnect with people from my past. We are about to meet them now, and they may say things about me.”

Trixie felt her eyes widening with each word that left Katya’s mouth. “Are you going to use again? Because, Katya, no case is worth your–”

As cute as this protective version of Trixie was, Katya had to interrupt her. “No, don’t worry, I won’t. There may be people using, though, and we can’t arrest them. They can’t know we are cops. My contact is already waiting for me, it should be a clean in and out situation. I just…” There was a pause, Katya tried to find the right words to describe what she was thinking. “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t want you to hear it from someone else. I don’t know.”

“I get it. You are fine.”

They shared a smile, an air of comprehension filled the space between them. The engine was brought back to life, and Trixie pressed a reassuring hand on Katya’s thigh as they drove away.

It was only a few blocks before Katya stopped the car again. Apparently, there was nobody on the street. They stayed there in silence for a moment. The car was idling and it was getting dark around them. Trixie knew better than to ask any questions, even when she was growing nervous by the minute.

Suddenly, a figure emerged from the shadows. Trixie didn’t know if the girl had been there the whole time, hiding on the left side of the building, but she was now making her way to them. The girl was short and her hair was long. She stomped her feet hard against the pavement as she walked around the car and leaned into Katya’s window.

“Hola, Mami,” the girl addressed Katya with a side smile. “I ain’t see you around here for a while.”

Katya, playing the role, moved a hand to run up and down the girl’s arm. “Hi, mija.” Katya returned the smile. Her fingers getting covered in glitter, transferred from the girl’s skin. “Soon, baby,” she promised. “Right now I’m looking for la güera. Is she around?”

The girl’s face fell immediately. With a tiny role of her eyes, she pushed herself back, yelling a name that Trixie wasn’t able to catch. “You and I used to have so much fun. What happened, baby? Now you only go for flaquitas y güeritas, eh?” The girl pushed her chin towards Trixie.

She didn’t know any Spanish, but Trixie was pretty sure she had just been insulted.

“Nada de eso, mamá. You know you will always be my favorite.”

Just then, the car door opened, and a girl got, not so gracefully, into the backseat.

“Beat it, Vanjie. These are my bitches now.”

The girl stepped aside, her mocha-colored skin shining under the streetlamp. And Katya drove away. Silence once again reigned during the ride. The only occasional noise came from the girl in the backseat, who loudly chewed gum with her mouth opened.

Katya then pulled into a motel. In some kind of drive-through arrangement, she requested a room. The window to the cashier was covered in tinted glass, preventing them from seeing their face. It actually made things a lot easier. They were given a room number and they found their gate right away. It had some sort of garage, the metallic door closed automatically behind them when the car went in.

They got out of the car and nobody said a word still. Trixie only followed them up the small staircase that led to their room. Going behind them also gave her the chance to look at the girl, to really look at her. Her makeup was applied perfectly, Trixie could recognize that right away. She was extremely beautiful, with long blonde hair and legs that seem interminable underneath her tiny skirt. She had a white tank top with chinese lettering on the front.

As soon as Katya heard the front door getting closed, she couldn’t take it anymore. She jumped in excitement and hugged her friend tight to her body. They hadn’t seen each other in so long, which was a good thing, because it only meant that none of them had gotten into trouble.

“I missed you so much,” Katya whispered into the blonde curls.

“I couldn’t believe you had called me. How are you? Are you okay? Can we trust her?”

Something suddenly clicked in Katya’s head. “Oh, God. Shit. Sorry. This is Trixie, my new partner. Trixie, this is Willam, he… well, she– wait, which one is it?”

“You are a man?!” Trixie looked surprised, to say the least.

Katya couldn’t help but laugh at her. She knew Trixie meant no disrespect, and Willam did too, who simply continued to chew on the same piece of gum.

“What? Didn’t you know? Some women have dicks these days,” Willam said so chilled, so casually, that it only elicited another round of laughter from Katya. “And I don’t mind. Either is fine.”

“Oh, bitch, you are a woman.” Right then, Trixie seemed to realize what she had done, she physically shook her head, trying to land back into the conversion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude,” she said walking to Willam, extending her hand to greet her. “It’s just that… oh, my God. You are really pretty.”

Willam shook her hand, and played with her own hair with the other. “I know. I have a mirror at home.”

Katya let out a wheezing laugh from behind them. “Glad to know the undercover work hasn’t changed your nasty ass.” Katya chuckled before taking a somber tone. “How is that going, by the way?”

Willam got on the bed, bouncing a couple of times before crossing her legs. “It’s hard. You know, nobody wants to trust you when you are this beautiful and give better head.” She kept playing with her hair while Katya laughed at her words yet again. “Yeah, no, I’m getting places,” she finally spoke seriously. “This goes way deeper than we thought, Kats.”

“Oh, shit,” Katya said genuinely concerned.

She took a seat next to her friend. She could only imagine all the things that Willam had gone through these last few months. The undercover mission was only supposed to last a few weeks. Willam was meant to collect intel among a group of trans-girls being forced to do sex work, and then come back to do her regular job. Nobody had planned for the small case to turn into such a big deal. Katya wasn’t nervous about Willam, she could take care of herself, she just hoped she could do more to help her.

“I was following one lead, one, but it’s a full net,” Willam offered. “There are so many more branches, though. I’m gonna need more time.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. That’s not what we are here for,” Katya assured her. “You are still on the case. I just need your help to identify something. The Puppeteer is back.”

Willam’s jaw fell open. “What?”

Katya turned to Trixie, who had been extremely quiet the whole time. In a way, Katya was grateful for the private moment she had just gotten with her friend, but they needed to get to work. She didn’t want to risk Willam’s status by keeping her for too long.

Trixie got the hint. She took the card out of her purse, still wrapped in the evidence bag. “We found this in four of the seven murders. We don’t know what it is. It has no name or address or phone number, just these stupid white lines forming a rose.”

Willam took the plastic bag in her hand, moved it around to get a better view of the piece of paper, recognition filled her features right away. “Oh, this is Luzon’s brothel.”

“You know what this is?” Katya asked, her voice filled with hope.

“Yeah, you see these lines here.” She pointed to the middle of the flower. “That’s the letter M, for Manila, Manila Luzon. Everybody knows who she is, and if you don’t then you probably can’t afford her. That’s why there’s no info on the card. She’s an eccentric bitch.”

Trixie looked at her with confusion. “What do you mean eccentric?”

“She has a dungeon, a classroom for role play, and things like that. Her girls are super talented, she hires only the best ones.”

“Do you know where we can find her?”

They got all the information about the place from Willam and, a few minutes later, they were dropping her off at her corner. Katya made sure to yell obscenities as Willam got out of the car, promising to come back and do more indecencies next week while they drove away.

It didn’t take them long to reach the brothel.

Trixie double checked the address once Katya was finally able to parallel park. She kept mumbling something about women’s brains, saying they didn’t develop the parts that calculated distance and space as much as men.

“If you think about it,” she continued, even when Trixie wasn’t paying attention. “It’s not at all misogynistic when people say women can’t drive, it’s a scientific fact. We can’t. We can do a lot of other things better than men, but driving, oh, Momma…” The tone of her voice changed when she looked up at Trixie. “And you are not paying attention.”

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Trixie asked, not even pretending she was listening to Katya.

They stood in front of an old building, but yet again, every building downtown was old. All the lights seemed to be off, and no sound came from the inside. Both looked up, spotting the large windows that didn’t indicate any movement happening on the other side of the glass. It had all the telltale signs of an abandoned building, and there they were, pulling the stained glass door to walk in.

A light bulb blinked above their heads, providing soft, intermittent lighting to the entry hallway. At the end of the corridor, an elevator waited for them.

Katya was the first one to walk inside the small cubicle. “If Willam sent us here to get killed, I swear to God…”

“Look!” Trixie pointed at the buttons of the elevator, successfully stopping Katya on her planning of bloody revenge. “It’s the same rose.”

The intricate design they had found on the cards replaced the number of the last button of the row. Trixie pressed it and they allowed the metallic box to take them to the top floor.

It would’ve been a good idea to come up with a strategy on their way up. Yet, they didn’t. Even if they had, though, they couldn’t possibly be prepared for what encountered them once the door slid open. Everything looked immaculate, upscale, expensive. A complete opposite to the first floor that had received them. The flashy furniture somehow made sense, as if it was meant to be put together. Even the blonde behind the tall desk belonged there just fine.

“Hello, welcome to Madam Luzon’s House of Pleasure. How can we take care of you tonight?”

Katya read the tag on the receptionist’s chest. Detox. Katya hardly doubted that was her real name, but it fitted her perfectly. Her lips were big, and there wasn’t a single wrinkle on her face. The tight dress showed off her perfectly sculpted body, if not by the gods themselves, by a group of doctors throughout many years. The face and body could be fake, but there was something very real about her smile. The contrast was verging on funny. The name Detox definitely suited her.

“Hello, sweetheart.” Katya flashed her a smile as she folded her arms on top of the desk. “We are here to gather some information.” She put as much effort as she could to make her voice somewhat alluring.

Detox giggled. Maybe it worked, maybe it was her job to respond like that to clients; but Katya felt proud of herself.

“Of course! Are you two pretty ladies looking to be a part of our team, or simply join the club?”

“What’s the difference?” Trixie asked.

Katya made yet another mental note, she had to talk Trixie into being more approachable. Half of the job was making people feel comfortable when talking to them. That entailed a lot of flexing the tone of their voices, and the ability to sound open and friendly, attributes that Trixie seemed to live without.

In an attempt to save the moment, Katya laughed exaggeratedly. “This beautiful lady is assuming we are hot enough to work here,” she spoke directly to Trixie before returning her attention to the receptionist. “Actually, we were hoping you could help us with something.” She fumbled with her phone for a moment before pulling up the picture that she needed, it was of the latest victim before being attacked. “Have you seen her? Has this girl worked here?”

Detox shook her head right away. “Nope. Why? Is she missing or are you trying to arrest her?”

She was very relaxed. Detox had by then understood that they were cops, that they were there to do an actual investigation, and she seemed unfazed. Katya was having a hard time reading her. Any person working at a place that literally had the words ‘House of Pleasure’ in the name, would be shaking in their boots in the presence of the police. She must have gotten good training on how to dissuade any law enforcer from what they actually did, or the paperwork was made up in such a way that they wouldn’t be able to prove what really went down there. Katya didn’t care, not really, not right now. She wasn’t there to shut down a sex house, she had a murderer to catch.

“Neither, actually.” It looked like Trixie had gotten the hint, her voice sounded just a little bit softer. “Is she a member of the club?” A head shake answered her question. “Is there anybody else we can ask about her?”

Detox’s perfect customer service smile shone brightly. “Sure. Please, excuse me for a minute.”

Trixie and Katya looked at each other as the girl went through a door on the side. Katya wanted to tell Trixie to relax, to keep her chill, and act normal. She wanted to let Trixie know that they were there to support each other; that they were going to get in there, get as much information as they could and go from there. She didn’t have to. After a few seconds of holding her stare, Trixie nodded. She understood.

“Madam Luzon will see you now,” Detox spoke a few feet from them, holding the door open so they could walk in.

Frantic music received them as soon as they entered the big office. In the corner, who they could only guess was Madam Luzon, rapidly moved a brush against a large canvas. She wore what seemed to be plastic cover in the form of a puffy dress. A white streak of hair bounced at the top of her head when she looked down to her paint palette. The strokes were long and thin as she moved to the rhythm of the quick tempo. She changed colors a couple of times, but didn’t stop until the music came to a dramatic end. That was when she finally turned around to face them, a wide smile on her face.

“Hello! Welcome. How can I take care of you tonight?”

She put the brush down and took a towel. She wiped her hands but all the stains remained on her skin, leaving her with big freckles of different colors.

“Hi. Thank you. We were hoping you could help us.” Katya took a step forward, her extended hand holding the phone in front of her. “Have you seen this girl before?”

Madam Luzon squinted her eyes, clearly pretending to take a better look of the image. “I don’t think I have, no. Is she in any trouble?”

“Not really.” Trixie shrugged nonchalantly. “Dead sure could be considered kinda troublesome, I guess. Very inconvenient, for sure.”

“Oh, geez.” Madam Luzon pressed a hand to her chest. “Poor girl, and so young. She had her whole life ahead of her.”

Katya wasn’t buying the performance, not for one second, but she decided to go along with it. She wanted to see how far this could go.

“We found your card at her place. Any idea how it got there?”

A hand was waved to dismiss Katya’s question. “If the kid was talented, I may have offered her a spot here at some point. I only hire the very best. She probably didn’t make the cut because, sadly, I don’t think I remember her.” The phone rang besides her, giving her enough excuse to end the meeting. “Why don’t you give Detox your phone number, I’ll let you know if we remember anything else. Or, I don’t know, maybe we could talk business.”

The conversation ended with a wink as she placed the phone to her ear.

Walking out of the office felt like a defeat. They had gone in there with such hopes and came out with nothing. Katya still didn’t trust the crazy painter, whose eyes got crossed when looking at the phone. There was something off about her, but Katya couldn’t identify what it was. The last thing she needed was something else to nag at the back of the head. Her anxiety was already through the roof as it was.

Just like they were told, Katya provided her phone number to Detox, who wrote everything down in the computer.

“She offered you a job, didn’t she?” The receptionist asked, leaning forward on the tall desk in conspiracy. “You know, you and I could easily do some sister act. I wouldn’t mind getting freaky with you.”

Katya laughed. “Oh, believe me, I wouldn’t either. Maybe some other time?”

The smile thrown her way seemed to be enough for Detox, who then lifted her eyebrows in Trixie’s direction. “What about you? We have a beautiful doll house that would be perfect for you.”

Lacking Katya’s everflowing seductive skills, Trixie simply shook her head. “Right now, I’m just a little busy with the whole catching killers and all, maybe next time.”

“Ah, maybe next time,” Detox repeated. “You will come around for sure. Nobody says no to Manila Luzon.”

They thanked the girl for her time and left the building, Katya offered to dropped Trixie at her place, claiming she was pretty sure she remembered the way. Almost. If anything, Trixie could guide her around, but she didn’t. As soon as they got in the car, Trixie focused her sole attention on her phone, leaving Katya to figure out the directions by herself.

Loud music came from the device. Katya tried to see what was playing on the phone but, every time she looked at Trixie, she encountered a long curtain of hair blocking her view. Trixie would make disapproving noises before closing a video and opening a new one. The scene was repeated a couple of times before Katya finally decided to ask.

“You really do hate when people have fun, huh?” She directed her attention to the passenger seat for a second, enough to see Trixie’s Instagram getting closed.

“It’s just my roommate, Kim,” she answered, putting the phone back in her purse. “She has people over and I don’t feel like dealing with them.”

“Why? Don’t you like them?” Katya asked without looking at her, her eyes set on the road in front of her.

Trixie scuffed softly. “I do, sorta. I mean, who doesn’t like to hang with beautiful fashion models that make you feel insecure as shit?”

Katya fully looked at her. “Oh, you are not being serious. Trixie, you are, like, one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life.”

With the corner of her eye she saw how Trixie shrugged, disregarding the topic. It wasn’t a typical sight. She hadn’t known Trixie for long, but she did know how much she liked her body. She was proud of her curves and knew exactly what to wear to highlight them. Her makeup abilities were something beyond Katya’s comprehension. She simply couldn’t understand how someone could literally transform the topography of her face just with brushes and beauty products. The most important part was, Trixie knew she was beautiful. More than once Katya had heard her replying with an ‘I know’ when someone complimented how good she looked.

“You know?” Katya suddenly found herself asking. “It’s still kinda early, and my apartment is not far from here. It’s a bit of a mess, but at least it’s not filled with your friend’s friends. Wanna crash for a bit? At least until you know the coast is clear.”

Surprisingly, Trixie agreed and allowed Katya to drive them to her place.

Her apartment was small, and disorganized. Katya made sure to let Trixie know that as they walked up the stairs. She had been living there for a long time and was constantly moving the furniture from its place. Just to see how things would look, but usually gave up halfway through. That was the reason why, when they walked in, Trixe spotted a recliner in the kitchen, and the dining table sat right between the TV and the couch.

One thing that Trixie did find fascinating, was the type of art that adorned the walls. It was weird, bizarre even, but all the uncommon pieces somehow managed to perfectly represent Katya. There was even a series of pictures hanging on a thread from wall to wall, they were all famous paintings that had Katya’s face photoshopped into them. They were odd, and strange, and completely Katya.

“Sorry for the mess,” Katya apologized as she ran around the living room, picking up clothes that were spread around. “I don’t usually have visitors.” She carelessly threw everything in what seemed to be a closet and came back, her hands clapping nervously. “Do you want some coffee?”

Trixie had to chuckle. “If I drink coffee now I won’t be able to sleep at all.”

Katya brought her hand to rub at the back of her neck. “Right. Right. Well, I have tea as well. I think.”

“Really, I’m fine, thank you.”

They walked to the living room and sat on each end of the couch. There was silence for a moment, it wasn’t uncomfortable, it wasn’t tense, but Trixie felt like suffocating. There was something pressing on her chest, preventing her lungs from expanding properly, and she knew the only way to breathe again would be to talk. Since earlier that night, when Katya had opened up about her life, Trixie felt the need to do the same, but it was very unlike her. She could joke about her rough life all day long, but really talking about it wasn’t easy for her.

With a deep sigh, she prepared herself to let it out. She could only hope Katya would understand and appreciate what a huge step this was.

“Wanna–” A small cough cut her off, but she was determined to continue. “Wanna know why I entered the force?”

Katya nodded enthusiastically. “Always.”

“I’m from the deep country. I’m talking cows, and outhouses, and an hour drive just to reach the nearest McDonald’s. I never met my dad, he bailed before I was even born. For a while, it was okay, but Mamma couldn’t really put bread on the table. So she married this guy who - he was okay, I guess, at first. He was a good provider. Then my sister was born and things turned ugly. Suddenly, I wasn’t his kid anymore, so he refused to treat me as such. He was drunk all the time, but, like, all the fucking time.”

Her eyes closed as she pronounced those last words, memories of how things used to be filled her head.

“He started hitting me, because I would misbehave; then my mom, ‘cause she couldn’t keep me in check. I couldn’t stand it. And there was nothing I could do. Standing up to him only meant making things worse. I got out as soon as I could, but I couldn’t help my mom. She had to wait until the bastard died of alcohol poisoning to be free. I don’t wish that on anybody. If I couldn’t help her, at least I can help others.”

All the words poured out of her at once, fearing that if she even took a second too long to pull air in, she would lose the courage to keep going. Katya didn’t say a thing, her mouth opened and her eyes had stopped blinking.

“Trixie, I–” she started.

“Don’t,” Trixie interrupted her. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“No, no, I want to.”

In a fast move, Katya was right in front of her. A soft hand landed on Trixie’s cheek and that was when she realized she was crying. Katya’s touch was delicate, Trixie couldn’t help but close her eyes and leaned into the warmth of Katya’s palm.

“You are so brave,” Katya said, forcing Trixie to open her eyes. “Not a lot of people have it in them to get out of shitty situations. Hell, even I love to go even deeper into my shit. But you… you are such an amazing woman. You are strong and smart and-and funny and I am so fucking proud of you. Knowing that you went through all of that only makes you even more of a badass, if you ask me.”

Trixie laughed tearily. “I wasn’t asking, really.”

A light chuckle left Katya’s lips but she didn’t say anything back. She simply kept rubbing soft circles on Trixie’s cheek with her thumb. The makeup was probably going to be ruined, if not by the touch, from all the crying, but Trixie didn’t really care at this point.

“That’s why this case became such a big deal, I guess.” Trixie hadn’t even considered it until the thought left her lips. “That could’ve been me, you know? One wrong decision and I could’ve ended up like those girls.” An abrupt sob cut through her throat and, before she knew it, she was crying uncontrollably in Katya’s arms.

It could have been a few minutes, it could have been hours, days even. Trixie felt like she had cried every emotion she held inside her. It was a freeing feeling. Soon, she was able to pull air back in without choking.

When she noticed Trixie was breathing normally, Katya pulled away a little to look into her eyes. “You feeling better?” A small nod answered her question. “You are not those girls, okay? And he’s not going to be on the loose for long. We are going to catch this guy.”

Trixie looked at her with big, pleading eyes. Her face had softened to a point that Katya couldn’t stop herself.

“Can I… just… I need to…”

She didn’t have to ask for permission, not really, because as she started to lean forward, Trixie closed her eyes. Katya kissed her right eye, tasting salt and glitter.

“We are gonna catch him,” she promised before moving to the left eye. “I’m gonna do it…” There was a kiss on the nose. “For you.” And then their lips found each other.

The kiss was slow and cautious. Lips smoothly wrapped around each other. They right away initiated a rhythm that allowed their movements and breathing to balance out perfectly. As their mouths explored one another, hands started to roam across their bodies. Trixie placed her hand on Katya’s nape, pulling her closer. Katya had a hand lost between the curls of Trixie’s hair, and the other one rested on Trixie’s thigh.

It was intimate, it was soft, and it was getting hotter by the minute.

It took one quick move for Katya to be sitting on Trixie’s lap. Each of her legs straddled Trixie’s as the kissing became deeper and deeper. Trixie’s hands found their way to Katya’s ass, and she pushed her slightly, starting a rocking motion. Katya didn’t complain, the complete opposite, she liked how Trixie was taking the lead. The feeling of Trixie’s hands kneading her flesh, mixed with the slow movement of her hips, had her already turned on beyond herself.

Katya quickened the pace. She lifted her hips and her hands went down to pull up her own skirt. She needed as much contact as possible. Their lips parted, giving room for moans and whimpers to fly freely. Among the noises of building pleasure filling the apartment, a cell phone brought everything to a halt.

Trying to catch her breath, Katya pressed her forehead against Trixie’s. Their stares met. Katya gave her a moment, trying to figure out if the interruption was enough to break the charm, and make Trixie regret what they were doing.

“Yours or mine?” Katya asked with a side smile.

“Mine is right here,” Trixie said, tapping her pocket before stealing a quick kiss.

With a grunt, Katya stood up and followed the sound to the front door, where she had dropped her purse when they walked in. The screen was still lit when she pulled it out, but the device wasn’t ringing anymore. Ginger’s nickname appeared under the label of missed calls. She stared at it for a moment, pondering what to do. If it had been an emergency, the phone would have rang again by now, or at least that was the excuse Katya gave herself to not return the call. Ginger probably just wanted to catch up. Katya missed her friend, but she had a turned on goddess on her couch. The dilemma answered itself.

Katya sent a quick message indicating she couldn’t talk at the moment, with the promise to ring Ginger in the morning. She stuffed the phone back into her purse and practically ran back to the living room. The short period was enough for her to find it empty. She looked around frantically, but Trixie was nowhere to be found. She couldn’t have left, she was right there just a moment ago, and Katya had been standing by the front door.

A muffled sound came from the bedroom, Katya made her way there and found Trixie. She had thrown to the floor all the crap that Katya had left on the bed, and was already pulling her dress above her head.

No more time was lost. They helped each other out of their clothes and stumbled on the bed. They continued to kiss as fingers rolled nipples and nails scratched backs. It was primitive, it was urgent, it was extremely hot. Katya could feel every inch of her skin burning in desire, and the flames would quench only by the touch of Trixie’s hands.

Katya’s back landed on the mattress, Trixie lied on top of her, settled between her opened legs. She took a nipple between her teeth and Katya’s back arched to the touch. It was worlds apart from the first time they had done it. Trixie was running her tongue on Katya’s breasts, giving both equal amount of attention.

“Thank you,” Trixie spoke against her skin. “Thank you for understanding.” Her head then moved up, facing Katya completely. “Thank you for being such an amazing partner.”

“It’s my absolute pleasure, Barbie doll.”

She held Trixie’s face in her hands, making sure she didn’t lose eye contact as their hips started to move again. They started pressing against each other, rubbing their more intimate areas with fervor. Katya knew it was physically impossible, but the position made her feel as if Trixie were actually thrusting hard inside of her. With every push of Trixie’s hips against hers, Katya’s walls clenched around nothing.

They moved faster and faster, the rhythm becoming erratic as each of them got closer to their own orgasm.

It took one of Trixie’s high pitched moans to send Katya over the edge. She saw white flashes in front of her eyes as waves of earth-shattering pleasure hit her relentlessly. In the high of her ecstasy was that everything suddenly became clear.

“Oh, my God. I know who did it!”

#rpdr fanfiction #trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #jasmine masters #violet chachki #willam belli #vanessa vanjie mateo #manila luzon #lesbian au #smut #laws of motion #dendenmonmon #submission #detox icunt

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kusunogatari · 4 years

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[ Frozen Flames and Shadowed Lights || Chapter Nine ] [ @yukaikokoro @abyssaldespair ] [ Hatake Kakashi, Kottakawa Kumiko ] [ Verse: Divine Light ] [ Previous || Next ]

Come morning, things aren’t...quite as tense. Rousing slowly, Kumiko finds Kakashi already awake, seated on his side and pulling on his boots.

Seems he’s eager to get back to the road.

...frankly, so is she. He clearly isn’t ready to chat, so having some riding to do in the meantime will be easier than just sitting around.

With the room already paid for, the pair pack up their gear, double checking their saddles and mounting up. Their pace is slow as they make for the front gate. Not unlike its slums, the clearer parts of the war-torn city are crowded, and hold a lingering anxious energy. Apparently there’s still unease given how back-and-forth the territory has been over the years.

Funny...she didn’t notice it as much on the way south to the Summit. Maybe, in at least some ways...he’s right.

There’s much she has yet to learn.

Soon enough hooves clopping against cobblestone are muffled in mud, the roads still sloppy from the night’s rain. Even now, the sky is overcast, and Kumiko can’t help but find it fitting. But the clouds are wispy, carried swiftly by wind and not weighed by unshed rain. Along the surface, the wind is cool, but the height of Summer means even a rainy day can’t be too biting. They’re not quite far north enough for that, yet. Odds are the weather will clear by midday and they’ll have sunlight bearing on their backs.

For the longest time, the only sounds are hoofsteps and the subtle groan of leather saddles, accented by the clink of metal and the occasional equine snort. Normally they’d each find the silence of a trip easing, but...the heavy thoughts and unspoken words seem to weigh on them and snatch the calm, replacing it with a moody tension.

Come nightfall, they’ve made good distance in spite of the soggy terrain, and find a relatively mudless spot a ways off the road. Kakashi finds enough dry wood and tinder to light a fire with a spark of ven, and they sink into yet another silence.

“...do you want me to tell you you were right?”

Mismatched eyes flicker up from watching the flames, instead studying her face. “...it’s never a bad thing to hear,” he replies, tone blithe. “But that’s not my point.”

“Then what is?”

Sighing, Kakashi drags a hand down his face. Now, without temper, he has time to think. To phrase. “...you have a certain degree of naivety that comes with the territory of your birth and your position. I don’t blame you for it,” he offers, seeing her make to cut in and raising a hand to beg silence. “...rather, I was hoping you’d trust someone who - unlike yourself - has spent many years on the road. I know what I’m doing in ways you just can’t. Which isn’t your fault. You’re the only child of a leader, you’re going to be sheltered. Sure, you gallivant around your city, but there’s always a degree of separation, if I had to guess. A guard, a hidden tail...you’ve never been exposed to the world the way I have.

“So when I gave you the warning before we reached the city, I expected you to listen. I know the place, I know the people, I know their nature. I realize you’re optimistic. Driven to do the right thing. Believe me, Ryū’s the same way. I know that type. But you have to temper it with knowledge and clear judgment. The Theran territory has been traded around more than once. The people there are almost more refugees than citizens. They’re poor, they’re crowded, and they’re desperate. The ruse of using a child to bait the kind-hearted is nothing new. But even when I told you no a second time, you insisted. You can’t ignore my insight.

“True, I have a lot to learn from you about the world you know, where we’re going. But this? Where we are now? This is my expertise. And if the pair of us are going to make it to Boralis alive, let alone what’s beyond it...you have to trust me.”

After a pause, Kumiko releases a breath she didn’t realize she was holding as a sigh. “...you’re right. And I do trust you, Kakashi. Maybe I am a bit naive. Maybe, in a way, Nori was right...I’m not yet fit to bear the mantle I’ve taken on…”

Kakashi doesn’t interrupt her thoughts, watching her silently.

“...but I’ll try harder. I’ll listen next time. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I needed it.” She gives a wry grin. “Sometimes the only way to change a Glacirian’s mind is to knock some sense into it.”

“Well, here’s hoping there won’t be any more of it - from me, or anyone else. I’d rather you have your wits about you, hm?”

“Yeah.” A pause is filled with the crackle of burning wood. “...so, I guess I still owe you an apology.”

“It’s accepted,” he replies, waving it away like smoke. “All I wanted was for you to realize your mistake, and learn from it. And I’m sure I’ll make my own once we’re further north, so don’t lose hope on getting your turn to lecture me.”

That makes her laugh. “I think political mishaps are a bit less deadly than ones out here, hm?”

“Depends on who I manage to offend,” Kakashi replies dryly, lips quirking. “...but, for now, we better get some rest. Still another few days to the border.”

“Yes...and given our need to take the trade route, we’ll need to start veering east, soon. We’ll also rise in elevation a good bit, so it’ll get cold fast.”

“I’ll consult the map in the morning when my mind’s fresh. Won’t do me much good as I am, now.”

“Understood.”

“So, I’ll take first watch - that way I won’t be groggy come time to navigate.”

Nodding, Kumiko adjusts her bedroll a bit before laying upon her side, watching the shadows dancing on the trees, cast by the campfire behind her. With the disagreement settled, she manages to slip into sleep within minutes.

Once their route is planned come morning, the two of them ride with new vigor in their pace. Even the horses seem to sense a hurdle’s been passed, and three days see them to the border. The warm weather appears to fade behind them, and a cool, muggy atmosphere rises. By the time they reach the beginning of the true north, snow dusts the ground, which admittedly boggles the hunter’s brain a bit, given the Summer nights just a few weeks prior. A small town - relying mostly on the traders stopping before the next leg of their journey - holds an inn the pair hunker down in for the night.

“It’ll be a good two days’ ride, maybe almost three to reach Boralis,” Kumiko reports. Stationed at a window, she holds back the curtains, watching the terrain to the north. A subtle furrow wrinkles her brow. “...that is, if the weather holds up.”

“Seemed pretty clear today,” Kakashi replies, laying out their supplies and making note of what to buy in the morning before they set off. His regular clothes have been packed away, exchanged for the lined ones Suigin gave him before he left.

“True...but the north is fickle. Best to assume the worst while hoping for the best.”

“Well, surely nothing to worry about with Glaciris’ own chosen leading us, hm?” Kakashi replies, rolling up his list and starting to pack up. “Surely you can make us an igloo if need be.”

Kumiko can’t help a dry snort. “Glaciris didn’t choose me,” she murmurs, a hint of bitterness in her tone. “The elders did. Glaciris hasn’t been with us - truly with us - since the Elementals fled after the rift.”

“Well, still...surely the elders of a people like yours knew who they were sending to the Elemental Summit…?” he retorts. “All I’m saying is, I doubt I could be in any better company for this particular leg of the trek.”

Glancing to Kakashi with mild curiosity, Kumiko can’t help a light dusting of pink on her cheeks, like the frost on the window panes. “...that’s quite the compliment.”

“I don’t hand those out freely.” Tying his rucksack closed, Kakashi looks to her mildly. “I haven’t known many ice mages, but you seem worth your salt.”

“...thank you. You’re not too bad yourself, wanderer.”

“We’ll see how I handle the north. Maybe then I can be called a skilled wanderer. This is a new challenge. I might fail, yet.”

“...you can’t,” she replies softly. “You’ve too much to fight for. You, if nothing else, will keep us driving forward.”

“...I’ll do my best.”

As he turns in for the night, Kumiko decides instead to take time to meditate: something most el’ven practice to help balance their energies and ensure a clear mind...and a clear mind means less chance to go awry.

There’s a lingering, funny sensation in her gut...a wariness that seems to prelude something going wrong. There’s no true reason she can give for it - just a gut feeling she can’t shake. Kakashi is right, they’re about as prepared as they can be. And she doesn’t doubt her own abilities. Then why…?

Sighing, she sits atop her bed and does her best to clear her mind, tuning herself to the interior rather than the exterior. Maybe it will help her find the root of this...feeling.

Soon enough, her breathing slackens, evening out as her muscles go lax. The whirling of her mind calms from flurries of snowflakes to a calm field of powder.

...but her foreboding remains.

Ever so slightly, her brow draws, a small wind kicking up snow. Something is coming...she knows it in her very bones. Worry begins to build again. What if she isn’t ready? What if she isn’t enough? What if -?

Like a thick blanket, something seems to settle over her. A calm, but...it’s not her own. Yet it smothers her feelings of doubt. It isn’t words, or images, just...a presence. Like an old friend assuring her she’ll be all right. A feeling of nostalgia overcomes her, and yet...nothing about this is consciously familiar.

Part of her is wary. This feeling - this resolution - isn’t her own. Then where is it coming from…? An older, wiser part of herself she’s not yet met? Or is it truly something beyond herself? But...that’s impossible. The only beings that can connect minds to minds are drach, and she doubts there’s any nearby. And this presence, this...being isn’t crisp and sharp like her connection to Raziya. As close as they are now compared to, say, the Luxerian capital of Salustia, she still could never connect to her kirav with this many miles yet between them. But this hazy, vague impression does indeed feel far and away. Like something reaching across a great distance to touch her.

Slowly, icy eyes open to find herself released from her mind and instead looking back at the room in the inn. The calm from before still lingers, along with knowledge. There’s a challenge they’ve yet to face, but...when it comes, they’ll be ready.

She’ll be ready.

...or so she hopes.

For once, she’s the first one awake, snatching Kakashi’s list and heading out herself. Cloaked and hood drawn, her breath plumes in freezing clouds, exchanging coin for everything he’s made note of. It should be enough - combined with what they have - to see them comfortably to Boralis.

...if all goes well.

Pack full, she returns to their room and finds him awake. Wordlessly, they sort out supplies between them to equal their load.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Horses fetched, they give their gear one last check before mounting up and stepping onto the well-worn road of the trade route.

The immediate terrain is mostly flat, broken by a few swells of small hills, banks, and valleys. Though typically free of snow this time of year to reveal a grassy plain, a dusting of white makes it look even more two-dimensional. Few rocks or trees break up the monotony. Pockets of water occasionally dot the tundra landscape, and in the distance they can see the smudges of the Gelidan mountains.

Kumiko can’t help but feel two emotions: a relief at being so near home again...and yet the lingering foreboding of what’s waiting for them out here. Weather, beasts, bandits...it could be anything.

But for now, the road is only dusted with snow, and the sky is a clear, crisp blue. The air at this elevation is starkly chilled, but with their heavier garments neither of them really feel it.

“So, what sort of animals call this part of the continent home?” Kakashi asks to try and break up the silence.

“Well...there’s quite a few smaller ones,” she offers, glad for the distraction. “Mostly rodents like rabbits, mice, voles...and then the things that hunt them. Birds of prey, foxes, weasels. A few bigger creatures like elk and caribou are prey for things like bears and wolves, but they tend to stick more west where there’s tree cover during the rougher seasons. The plains are more their Summer homes, so...we might see some, but it seems things are getting chilly early this year.” Autumn is still, officially, a few weeks away...but the north is often unpredictable. “We’ll hit more forested land before we reach Boralis - this plain will see us for the first day, day and a half. Then we’ll get into the foothills where the capital sits, and there will be more trees and shrubland. The places we’ll have to worry most about are the mountains, but...well, I have a plan, there.”

Kakashi deadpans. “Well...reaching the capital will be nice. I’m not a fan of open spaces, myself...feels too exposed.”

“I know what you mean,” Kumiko agrees dryly. “The sooner we get to a more covered landscape, the safer I’ll feel. The winds can get wicked out here, and there’s few to no places to take shelter.”

The morning passes slowly, Kakashi occasionally needling Kumiko for more information about her homeland. It’s...nice. In all reality, it’s been so long since she’s talked to an outsider. Someone unfamiliar with the northern country. To be able to give the information freely to a mind that doesn’t yet know it gives her a new kind of vigor. Hours tick by unnoticed as she waxes on about Glaciris’ lands.

...but the afternoon brings her pleasant mood swiftly down.

Slow at first but building quickly, a northern wind begins pushing them from the front. Its breath is icy and bitter, and the pair snuggle down as best they can into their lined gear.

“Twelve,” Kakashi can’t help but swear under his breath, which plumes but swiftly scatters. “Where’d this squall come from?!”

“I told you the north is fickle!” Kumiko replies, having to shout over the wind. “Keep an eye out for a bank or a dip we can lay low in!”

With their horses keeping their heads bowed to the cutting air, they attempt to press on. Soon, flakes begin to flurry. The fresh snow clings to anything and everything. Even Kakashi’s eyebrows freeze over as the powder hits his skin, melt against the heat, and swiftly refreezes in the wind.

On they march, and Kumiko’s chest begins to hammer in desperation. Still no sign of a place to hunker down...damn these plains and their shapeless expanses! If they were one of the caravans, they’d have wagons to hide in and circle to protect their mounts...but here?

They’re alone, exposed, and running out of time.

Arm braced in front of her face and squinting through the weather, Kumiko barely hears a faint thud behind her. Kakashi’s gelding gives a distressed whinny, and with a turn she sees why.

Having slipped from his saddle, Kakashi lays in the road, motionless save for the wind whipping his clothing.

Heart leaping to her throat, Kumiko hurriedly dismounts, managing to catch both horses’ reins and pull them in together. “Kakashi!”

A hint of a groan carries through the wind.

Struggling against panic, Kumiko glances around. She can’t sense any other presence within her range. No one else is currently braving the storm, or at least anywhere near them. With some nervous urging, she manages to get the horses to lay down side by side, helping to create a small buffer. Then with a surge of ven, she brings up a curving wall of ice behind them, careful not to spook them. It cuts down some of the wind, but the killer chill remains. And she can’t hold its form forever - eventually, she’ll tire...especially as the wind eats at the ice.

Drawing Kakashi up with her to lean against her mount, Kumiko narrows her senses. His energy is dwindling to frightening levels, quickly being sapped in an attempt to stay warm. Even Obito’s gifted fire, usually resilient in el’ven bodies against cold, isn’t enough to waylay the frost. Its influence in a foreign body is too weak.

On the edge of dread, Kumiko draws him close, holding him to her chest and staring out into the storm beyond the curve of her ice. Even she, adjusted as she is to the north, can feel the bite of the cold locking up her body.

...this can’t be the end. It can’t...it can’t…! Teeth grit as if she can simply be stubborn enough to fend off the cold. They’ve come so far - together, and alone. Surely their paths go on from here. Kakashi has to save the lux mage...and she has to save her people. There’s so much she wants to do, yet. So much to accomplish...she can’t…

Hiding her face in the crook of Kakashi’s neck, she can feel his signature fading. He has a few minutes left, at best. And she won’t be far behind at this rate.

No...I can’t let us…

“Hold steady…”

Eyes snap open, unmoving. What...what was…?

“This is not your end, mor. You’ve a role yet to play. Open your heart to me...and I will grant you my strength.”

Barely daring to breathe, Kumiko hesitates. She doesn’t know this voice, and yet...it seems so...familiar…

It doesn’t take words, or actions. She just...lets go.

Like water welling up through a spring, ven suddenly floods her body. With nowhere to go...it explodes.

Akin to a cyclone, the energy swirls and whips outward. Snowflakes are batted aside, the winds left to part around the rotating vortex of ven like water past a clogging stone. Slowly, a dome builds around them of still air, a spinning mass of white shielding the pair from the squall.

The temperature stabilizes. Though still cool, it loses its bite. Eyelids twitching, Kakashi feels his energy slowly, sluggishly, return. As mismatched eyes manage to open, he stares dazedly at the strange wall of white. Is that...snow...? Did Kumiko…?

Realizing her hold on him, he stiffly turns his head to look at her. Surely something like this is taxing...how…?

He goes slack.

Posture upright, the glacial mage is unnaturally still. All that moves are the locks of her hair, slowly wafting in the whisper of wind left in her eye of the storm. Her own are wide, staring, unseeing...and glowing with an ice-blue energy that seems to overflow from within.

Kakashi can do little more than ogle. He’s never seen anything like this. Even when pushed to their brinks, he’s never witnessed a mage’s eyes do that. The energy is so palpable, he can feel it tingling along his skin like electricity, making every hair stand on end.

Where is this power coming from…?!

Uncounted minutes pass in the strange, muffled half-silence. Kumiko never moves. Never blinks. Just sits like an idol at the center of the clearing as the winds roar, muted, beyond her sphere of influence.

And then...after what feels like both hours, and yet seconds...something seems to shift. The sounds begin to quiet. The air slows. Like a spinning wind losing its energy, Kumiko’s ring of protection starts to unravel, revealing a spiraled drift meters out from them. The storm, it seems, has passed.

Still exhausted, Kakashi brings his eyes back to Kumiko. Her own lose their glow, and flutter in their sockets before rolling back into her head. Collapsing back against her mount, she loses consciousness.

“Kumiko...Kumiko…!” An arm unbending with both cold and stillness tries to jostle her. “Wake up…!” It’s so hard to keep his eyes open…

Behind him, just as the world goes dark, he hears a rhythmic clatter...and then silence.

:’D Howdy y’all, long time no see! It’s been...WAY longer than I intended between this update and the last, and the only excuses I have are no time, no muse, and no mojo. My bad...? .w.; Technically this chapter was SUPPOSED to have a whole other scene, but uh...it’s long enough as it is, so I s’pose I’ll have to save the rest for another one, eh heh. So now we’re up to 14 total outlined chapters from 13. I HAVE the rest...mostly plotted out. Just need to sit and DO IT. And I thought I’d best post as I finish or we’ll be waiting a while, whoops. But uhhh yeah! Seems our first disagreement has been resolved! I hope I don’t write Kumiko as too...much...? Like her naivety and optimism. But I kinda see her that way: having so much high hope that’s gonna be MAJORLY tested during this whole trek as it hasn’t been able to be tested before. Then we have hardass Kakashi who’s the polar opposite, so...this is basically just them evening each other out xD And my my, what happened to her there at the end, huh? Who’s that voice? I guess we’ll just have to wait and find ooout :3c With that tho, I’m gonna go sleep actually, haha~ Thanks for reading!

#yukaikokoro #abyssaldespair #hatake kakashi #kottakawa kumiko #divine light [ au ]

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aphroditestummyrolls · 4 years

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When the Falcon landed in the field outside his house, Kes had been living on the fumes of hope. He counted down every day of every week, waiting for a comm request, a holo-message, any proof of life from Poe. Shara’s tree swayed at the edge of the garden every day, and he chose to see it as a sign—she was keeping their boy safe, he was fine. Surely, if Poe… If something had happened to Poe, The Force Tree – the one he’d grown up watering, playing under, where they’d buried his mother – would’ve done something.

It was more than he could handle when the Falcon—not Black One -- landed at the edge of his land and Poe didn’t come bounding out.

Luke hadn’t been the person he expected—everyone with half a head and wasn’t living under a rock knew that Luke hadn’t been around in years. But, no one on that blasted old freighter was his son, and Kes couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think beyond the distinct, terrible memory of the last time Luke Skywalker had come to this house with news of Kes’s family.

“Hello, Kes – I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

“S-Skywalker,” he ground out, not wanting to know – he’d rather take no news as good news than hear if… “I’ll kill you right here if you’ve come by to deliver me another body.”

If he’d been in better control of himself, he would’ve been surprised at the vitriol he still felt, so long after he thought he’d forgiven Luke for his part in Shara’s death. But, if this was true, he wouldn’t have a shred of good faith left for the man.

Luke’s hands were up in some cautious show of surrender, when a young voice broke into Kes’s worst fears like sun through a monsoon cloud.

“Kes Dameron? Are you Poe’s dad?” a slip of a girl came walking down the gangway, casual, a smile on her face.

“Have you heard from him?” Kes didn’t try to hide his desperation. They were well past that point.

She looked taken aback, gaping for a moment before sputtering out “I mean, I – yes. I comm’d into base just a few weeks back, he’s been watching out for Finn. He fired the last shots into Starkiller Base! He’s a hero.”

The relief was unlike anything he’d felt since the Death Star and the Empire fell. It swept over him like a wave, the Force Tree continuing to sway in a silent I told you so, but Kes just gripped the fence to his garden and let out a strangled noise. He let himself finally breathe, a few tears sticking to his lashes.

“I take it you haven’t heard from Poe.” Luke surmised uselessly.

“Nearly 2 months of radio silence.” Kes rasped, clearing his throat and finally greeting his guests with a weary smile “It’s good to see you, old friend. I’m sorry about… I’ve been pretty high strung. C’mon in, then – your little friend clearly has a story about my boy, and I was just about to crack open a bottle of Alderaanian wine.”

The decision to take the position they were offering wasn’t particularly difficult, if only to get a good look at his son for himself – maybe give him a strong smack upside the head for scaring his old man like that.

Poe was a hero of The Resistance. He’d taken down something that seemed unbeatable. Kes drank more than he meant to, relief, joy, and pride leaving him nearly floating, looking out the window at Shara’s tree and knowing she was proud, too.

So, they stayed a week. Young Rey got to train with Luke, meditate under one of the only Force Trees in existence. Kes learned about Han, and that nasty business with his and Leia’s son. He showed Rey Shara’s old A Wing, and Poe’s many scrapped speeders in the barn. She was sweet.

He’d always said that if he and Shara had had more time, they’d have had a daughter. They’d have had to expand their house they’d have had so many kids.

Rey was very sweet.

Boarding The Falcon and leaving his home after so long made him feel old. His first thought had been But who’ll tend the garden? And he just had to laugh. Shara would’ve called him an old homebody and told him to get off his ass.

The galaxy needed him – and so did their boy.

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The last blaster shots into the core of Starkiller mingled with his screams, with Yavinic songs, and his dad’s warm voice -- a Force-like pressure squeezed his muscles tight until he felt he might explode, a cry turning into a whimper as he bolted up in bed. His head pounded, the last tendrils of the dream pulsing through his skull behind his eyes.

BB-8 charged in the corner, the soft blinking light of his sleep mode helping to level out Poe’s desperate breathing.

He had gotten Starkiller—they had won. They had won.

But he still felt like he’d failed. Ren had gotten through, leaving the mark of his probe on every fiber of Poe’s being, every memory in his head.

Poe fumbled his way out of the tangle of sweaty sheets, slipping into his trousers and pulling a shirt over his head with trembling hands. His heart continued its mad hammering in his chest, just like it did every morning. If he managed to sleep at all, that is.

The mess hall was blissfully empty as he padded through the midnight quiet of Headquarters, just like it was every night.

Poe’s nights always seemed to go the same way, with little variations here and there. He’d wake up, try not to throw up (he didn’t always succeed), stop by the mess hall for his first cup of caf, and find something to keep him busy.

He had repainted Black One four times in the two weeks since Starkiller. He had rebuilt her engine even more. He had spent late nights and early mornings recording Holo-messages, notifying the families of his dead pilots.

One of the only things that stayed the same, though, was walking through the sterile white halls of the medbay to Finn’s room. He always looked so peaceful. He was always sleeping with a heavy, dreamless calm that made Poe feel like his life wasn’t completely falling apart— at least Finn’s vitals were strong.

That night was no different. The caf was going cold in his hand, but Poe was busy watching his friend’s chest gently rising and falling with the ventilator, listening to that strong, steady heartbeat through the monitor.

“Poe Dameron, why am I not surprised?” A familiar voice sighed from the doorway. He made a conscious effort not to jump in surprise—he should’ve seen this coming, after all.

“Hey Doc.” He flashed her a half a grimace—soft and a little pleading, he didn’t have the energy for anything else—before looking down into his caf. He knew what she was going to say, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. He knew he looked like Bantha shit, he didn’t need anyone else to tell him that.

“You look like Bantha shit.”

Nice, he thought “Still the best-looking guy in the Resistance—how’s Finn doing?”

She huffed a breath that might have been a laugh in a previous life where she had a sense of humor. “He’s the same as he was when you asked me last night— the spinal damage is nearly healed. He’ll be stiff and weak when he wakes up, but a few weeks of intensive physical therapy should have him back on his feet. I’ve never seen someone take to the bacta so well. Your friend’s lucky.”

He nodded. The unchanged, optimistic words set something at ease in his tightly knotted gut. Finn’s chest rose and fell, his short black lashes curling away from the start of his soft, dark cheek. Poe missed his full lips and his blinding smile. People talked a big talk about Poe’s smile, but he had nothing on Finn.

“—Commander, are you listening to me?”

“Huh?” he pulled his gritty, tired gaze from his friend to look back at the doctor’s unamused face.

Her lips were pursed, and her eyebrow was raised. She almost looked like his mom used to, and while that used to be something that would make Poe smile, a spike of shame punched into him instead. The feeling only got worse when her expression softened. She was worried about him—just like Snap, and Jess, and even The General--

“I asked if you were feeling alright. Poe, are you sleeping at all?”

He paused, swallowed, and tried to hide it all in feigned nonchalance “Yeah, Doc—I’m fine.”

“Yeah?” she was, if possible, even less amused than before “You’re here every night—at first, I thought you were on some sort of night shift, but The General said you’re on leave to recuperate after Starkiller. Usually, people go home.”

“There’s too much to do around here—”

“How’s Kes?”

He tried to hide the flinch at his dad’s name, but his level of success was written all over the doctor’s face. He’d failed again.

The phantom pains of Ren’s presence in his mind curled through his blood like smoke. He couldn’t even picture Kes’s face without the urge to cry.

“He’s alright. He fought in the first rebellion; he knows where I’m needed.”

There was a long pause, and Poe was just waiting for her to call his bluff—he hadn’t comm’d in to Yavin IV since before Jakku. Dad was probably worried sick, Poe never used to go longer than a week without contact.

It had been nearly 2 months.

Dr. Kalonia sighed “Have a good night, Poe. Don’t forget to get some sleep—can’t have a pilot who can’t steer straight.”

From Love Will Help You Heal on AO3

#finnpoe #stormpilot #poe dameron #finn #fanfiction

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