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#i still don't know how to face the unbearable pain
furiousgoldfish 4 days ago
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all of the time I should have been spending laughing, bonding with people, being with friends, finding myself, finding love, figuring life out, I spent trying to figure out how to face unbearable pain and trauma and come out the other side alive
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3smo 16 days ago
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Loid has the most sensitive body.
And it's just his mere skin feeling every touch, every breath, just simply everything in an arousing manner which makes it hard for him to focus at all. It gets so unbearable that he can't help but shed tears out of frustration.
Won't you just go easy on him?
To be completely honest you will not. The way his face contorts after touching this specific sweet spot on his hip, not even putting pressure on it just barely grazing his skin, is what gets you going. It's what makes you so aroused without having to stimulate yourself physically.
He's moving away from your touch out of reflex but oh does he want more from you. But how can he say it when all that come out are little incoherent whimpers and whines. You know what he needs because it's basically written all over his face: his knitted eyebrows, trembling lips, sweaty forehead and teary eyes all from your hands touching his body so politely. So gentle and soft. So foreign but so uncontrollably attractive.
He wants more. He wants it harder, rougher and more aggressive but why?
It's because he doesn't want to show you how slow and gentle touches can make him feel things he doesn't want to show. It opens multiple new doors of vulnerability. He put heavy locks on those doors but you still managed to open them effortlessly. Effortless like always.
Hands now all around his neck and he's dying. Dying of anticipation because you're not choking him at all. Your thumbs are just merely resting on his Adam apple, slowly and softly stroking it. While maintaining eye contact with him which breaks him even more but he knew better than to break it.
What can he do to make this stop? This is torture, he finalized.
I'm going to die.
This was supposed to be one sentence...
hoW DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS 馃槶 i can barely get out of writers block 馃槶馃槶
it would so devastating and heartbreaking for loid if you got tired of teasing him and decided to end the session there.
he would sniffle but accepts it, ignoring the fact that you're grinning ear to ear at his reluctant words. when he watches you place your jacket and shoes on, a sob leaves him.
he's in so much pain and he needs you near him, you don't even have to touch him, just keep your eyes on him and he might be able to finish untouched.
"i'll be back," you promise, so you leave him tied up in your bed. you stand at the other side of the door, his muffled cries alerting you but he's only calling your name like a prayer. an eager smile plays on your lip as you lean against the door, sitting down in front of it.
you really wanted to test his limits. until he begged for it. and it's gonna take a while too, loid can be very prideful when he wanted to be.
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minty-fanfic-corner 7 months ago
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"I don't care" pt.3 (Childe & Xiao)
As i said, "I don't care" part three is here! With Xiao and Childe!
I finally had a proper day off after so long qwq I hope you're all doing well too!
Please, note that this is the last part of this serie!
Warning: Angst, modern AU, not proof-read
A/N: Same as usual, tell me if I made any big mistakes aaaa
BEFORE YOU READ! This isn't related to the fic in anyway, but I'm thinking about opening a Ko-fi both for fanfics commissions and art commissions. You can see some of my art on my tumblr! I'd still be open to request, but of course commissions would be priority and I could make them more personal (like with your oc) if you wish! So if you're interested, please tell me!
Part 1 here (Kaeya & Zhongli)
Part 2 here (Thoma & Diluc)
Childe
Childe came back after a long day of work in your shared appartement. You weren鈥檛 home yet, and he dragged himself to your shared bedroom. There, he let himself fall on the bed, still fully clothed. He slowly dragged a blanket over his body and closed his eyes, hoping to get some rest. As he started to fall asleep, he heard the door being opened and closed rather quickly. Soon after, the red haired heard your footsteps making their way quickly to the bedroom. There again, you opened the door quickly, before walking over the bed, a big smile all over your face. He glanced at you rapidly, wondering what your smile was about.
鈥淚 passed my exam!!鈥 You fumbled in your backpack for a few seconds before showing him the paper proudly. 鈥淚 was so scared to fail, I studied all week for it and I made it! With a pretty good grade, too!鈥 you exclaimed, still showing him the piece of paper.
Childe looked at you for a few seconds before mumbling something.
鈥淐ongrats.鈥
That was all. That was all he said. You felt your heart ached as your lover turned his back to you. You had worked so hard to pass this exam, and this was all he said to you? You frowned before asking:
鈥淭hat鈥檚 all?鈥
鈥淲ell, what else do you want me to say?鈥, he shrugged, his back still facing you.
鈥淢aybe just something with more energy? And with a hug??鈥
You had barely finished talking that Childe sat up in the bed rather quickly, looking at you with anger in his eyes. Without breaking eye contact, he spat out:
鈥淲ell, (Y/N), congrats! I鈥檓 so proud of you! There, I said it. Happy now?鈥
You shook your head lightly. The pain in your heart was getting unbearable and you felt the need to apologize. But before any words could leave your mouth, he spoke up again.
鈥淐an鈥檛 you see I鈥檓 tired?? I have other things to do than just give you a pat in the back for small and insignificant things!鈥
That was the final blow. You felt your heart shattering in a thousand pieces and felt a lump in your throat. Still, you managed to let out a small 鈥渟orry鈥 before leaving the room and closing the room softly behind you. After the door closed, Childe tried to go back to sleep.
But of course, he couldn鈥檛 go back to sleep. He was too worried about you. He kept thinking about the pained look on your face as his words left his mouth. And the more he thought about it, the more guilty he felt. And now, he felt as if he was drowning in guilt. Yet, he managed to fall asleep for a few minutes. Those minutes were the worst of his life. He kept dreaming of you. He kept dreaming about how he was the cause of all this pain.
鈥淵ou never cared, right Ajax? I should have known. No one ever cared鈥 So I guess it鈥檚 goodbye now.鈥
He woke up after you said those words in his dream. Childe鈥檚 thoughts were racing. He got out of the bed quickly and went to the living room, which was dark and cold. You were no where to be found in your appartement. Childe felt himself getting more and more panicked every seconds. He finally found his phone and tried to call you, to no avail. He decided to leave a message.
鈥(Y/N)鈥 I鈥檒l be home when you come back. Or鈥 Even if you don鈥檛 come back, please, let me know that you鈥檙e safe.鈥
A few hours went by. Childe was now laying on the couch, an arm over his eyes. His heart was beating so fast, he felt as if it was about to jump out of his chest. He actually felt his heart jump when he heard to front door opened. He got up quickly and came face to face with you, eyes red from crying.
-(Y/N)鈥 I鈥 I鈥檓 so sorry鈥
He got up and walked up to you. He pulled you close to him. And, to his surprise, you hugged him back. You were still shaking, a few sobs leaving your lips.
-My love, I鈥檓 so sorry鈥 If only you knew how proud of you I am. I know how hard you studied for this test, and I鈥檓 proud of you for passing. You鈥檙e amazing鈥
You buried your face in his chest. You thought he would still be mad at you, so it felt great to hear him say those words.
Xiao
鈥淲here did they go again鈥︹ Xiao mumbled to himself.
You and him went to the mall as you needed some stuff for your new appartement. Xiao thought you had grabbed everything you needed already, but you insisted to go see a new shop that had opened a few days ago. Something with stuff animals if he remembered correctly. But now, you had taken off all by yourself. Your boyfriend was now looking for you. When he finally noticed your hair down an aisle, he let out a small sigh before making his way to you.
鈥淥h, Xiao! Perfect timing!鈥 you exclaimed as you noticed him. He gave you a puzzled look as you said this. You laughed slightly at his expression before showing him a stuffed dragon. 鈥淟ook at him! Isn鈥檛 he adorable??鈥
Xiao seemed to be a little taken aback as you showed him the plushie. He looked at it for a moment before asking:
鈥淲hy would you buy it?鈥
Now, it was your turn to be taken aback. You knew that Xiao wasn鈥檛 really found of stuffed animals and such, but you still didn鈥檛 expect his question.
鈥淲ell鈥 I think it鈥檚 cute鈥 And it鈥檚 soft!鈥
鈥溾 I think it鈥檚 useless.鈥
Once again, you were quite surprised by your lover鈥檚 words. You frowned as you processed what he just said. You finally spoke up after a few seconds.
鈥淏ut why鈥?鈥
鈥淟ook (Y/N), it鈥檚 a stuffed animal. It can鈥檛 do anything! It鈥檚 just a waste of money!鈥
You didn鈥檛 dare to look at him. Your gaze was glued to your feet as his words hit you. When he was done talking, you simply put the dragon back on the shelf.
鈥淎lright鈥 I suppose we can go home now鈥︹
As you made your way back home, your gaze remained cast on the floor.
When you got back to your appartement, you went to your bedroom quickly. You took all your stuffed animals and put them away in the closet. Xiao was probably right鈥 Stuffed animals can鈥檛 do anything but sit their and collect dust. Maybe they really are a waste of money and space after all. As you put your last plushie away, you bit down your bottom lip. They were special to you, and you loved them. You felt bad for putting them away. Especially since at the moment, you just wanted to hug them and get some comfort. Still, you closed the door of the closet without looking at them. When night came, Xiao noticed something changed in the room. Yet, he couldn鈥檛 say what it was. He shrugged it off.
鈥淚f I can鈥檛 remember it, it probably wasn鈥檛 important.鈥
His eyes then darted over to you. You were asleep already, far from him.
When Xiao opened the closet when he woke up, he noticed something on the ground in a corner. As he couldn鈥檛 tell what it was, he squatted down and reached to the objects hiding in the corner. When his hands reached something soft, he couldn鈥檛 tell what it was. It was only once he brought the object in the light that he understood. Xiao looked at the plushie for a long moment as thoughts were racing in his memories. He remembered your sad expression yesterday as he told you that stuffed animals were only a waste of money. You probably hid the ones that you already owned for that reason鈥 His eyes darted back to the bed. By now, you were long gone as you worked this morning. It would also explain why you were so far from him last night. You were simply hurt. Xiao pulled the other stuffed animals from the closet and put them carefully on the bed.
You were now standing by your bed, confused. All your plushies were carefully put on the covers, and a new one was sitting with them all. The dragon you saw yesterday was now proudly standing on your bed as well. Confused, you took it in your arms and hugged it close. Nope, this wasn鈥檛 a dream.
-(Y/N)鈥
Your turned around, surprised. Before you could say anything, you felt Xiao鈥檚 arms around you. He hugged you close and kissed the top of your head before adding:
-I鈥檓 sorry. I didn鈥檛 realize what I said yesterday. Stuffed animals aren鈥檛 important to me but鈥 I understand they are to you. Please (Y/N), you don鈥檛 have to hide them, I鈥檓 so sorry.
You couldn鈥檛 help but smile a little when he spoke.
-It鈥檚 fine Xiao, don鈥檛 worry鈥
You kissed him on the cheek before adding
-Thank you for putting them back on the bed鈥 I don鈥檛 think they liked the closet.
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lunarbuck 4 months ago
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Easy
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!avengers!reader (any race)
WC: 6.2k
Summary: When Stark Industries hires you to work with the Avengers, Bucky Barnes is assigned as your partner. The two of you don't see eye to eye, to say the least, but that all changes after one fateful night at a Tony Stark Party.
Warnings: swearing, descriptions of violence, description of injury, enemies to lovers, oral (f receiving), smut (p in v)
A/N: This is too long to be a one-shot,, it kinda very much got away from me but I figured I'd still add it to this series! I hope you all enjoy, please let me know what you think <3
main masterlist | one shot masterlist
IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS
鈥淕od damnit, Y/N, we don鈥檛 have time for this shit,鈥 Bucky鈥檚 harsh whisper carries across the room to where you are working.
鈥淚t鈥檚 fine, Barnes. You did your sniper shit; now it鈥檚 time for me to do my shit.鈥 You continued picking the hidden lock in the ornate wooden desk. You grumble under your breath about how much of a dick he鈥檚 being and work your lock picking keys into the mechanism.
After a bit of wiggling, you hear a click. You turn the keys, and the sound of a drawer popping open above you confirms your suspicions. You slide out from under the desk and open the newly discovered drawer. Inside is a laptop, and judging by how much they had tried to hide it, that is what you have been looking for. You grab the computer and shoot a glare at Bucky. He is always doubting your abilities. 鈥淟et鈥檚 go, old man,鈥 you say shortly, putting the laptop in your backpack and shouldering it on. Bucky rolls his eyes and starts leading the way back to the window you both had climbed in through earlier. His strides are longer, so he quickly gets farther away from you. You don鈥檛 bother trying to catch up.
Shots ring out from behind you, and you duck, grabbing your gun. You fire back, keeping behind a wall for shelter while Bucky continues on, already around the corner and probably far enough to not think anything of the shots. You are still too preoccupied with the agent attacking you to call for his help.
You quickly run out of ammo. You make a show of dropping your weapon and beg the man with your eyes to let you live. He does exactly what you want. The man approaches you, a wicked grin growing on his face. Your hand creeps slowly to the hilt of your knife at your waist. You let him get closer, waiting for the perfect moment. Right as he presses the trigger, you dive and stab the man in the leg, right in his IT band. He howls in pain and tries to shoot you again, but you are quicker, and you push the knife into his side. The man falls with a loud thud just as Bucky comes running back down the hall for you.
鈥淵/N, I--鈥
鈥淥h look, my knight in shining armor,鈥 you say sarcastically, forcing the bile that鈥檚 rising in your throat back down. You wipe off your blade and push past Bucky. The window is still open from when you鈥檇 done the climb into the building, so you maneuver yourself out onto the siding and climb down. You are seething. How could he have left you like that?
You鈥檝e been partners with Bucky for a few months, and missions have always been touch and go. The two of you are constantly bickering, picking on each other, and fighting about how to do stuff.
You only tolerate the man because Tony had quite the vision for you and the Winter Soldier. The whole idea was that Bucky would do his sniper spy stuff, and you鈥檇 go in and sneak around looking for hard drives or whatever you needed from that mission. So far, all your missions have been successful, but you can鈥檛 get past the smug look on that asshole鈥檚 face.
You stalk off to the car; a black SUV parked a few blocks from the building. You sit in the passenger鈥檚 seat, waiting for Bucky. He finally gets in the car, and you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. It's palpable how pissed both of you are.
The drive back is unbearable, and the second you arrive at the Tower, you go your separate ways. You aren鈥檛 an Avenger, so you don鈥檛 live in the same wing as Bucky, and you are incredibly thankful for that.
Your neighbor, Lee, always makes sure to check on you after missions. You don鈥檛 know what you鈥檇 do without them. Lee knocks on your door 30 minutes after you get back, giving you enough time to change out of your tactical gear and into a pair of sweatpants with a comfy shirt. They don鈥檛 bother waiting for you to open the door; they know it鈥檒l be unlocked.
鈥淗ow鈥檇 it go today with the old guy?鈥 They ask, placing a bottle and two shot glasses down on your counter. You huff out a laugh as you head over to them.
鈥淚t sucked.鈥 Lee pours two heaping shots of tequila and offers you one. You take it and tap glasses with Lee before downing the shot. It鈥檚 a tradition. A few shots after a tough mission always make you feel better. 鈥淗e left me alone while I was getting shot at. What kind of partner does that?鈥 Lee shakes their head and pours another shot for the two of you.
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry, Y/N. Why don鈥檛 you just ask to get reassigned? I get it was Tony鈥檚 idea and all, but if you two don鈥檛 work well together, it isn鈥檛 worth it.鈥 You take the shot and wipe at your mouth, scanning the kitchen for a chaser.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 the thing, we do well together on the missions. If you ignore the bickering, we actually are a great team. We just don鈥檛 get along very well the rest of the time.鈥 Lee nods but doesn鈥檛 really believe you.
鈥淗e鈥檚 also not so not so bad to look at,鈥 Lee says quickly before taking a shot. Your jaw drops, but you have to agree.
鈥淚 mean, you鈥檙e right but don鈥檛 tell anyone,鈥 you laugh loudly and try to push the image of Bucky out of your head.
He frequents your thoughts, images of him working out, taking down an agent, or literally just standing there looking like a fucking greek god. 鈥淛esus, Lee, please don鈥檛 tell anyone.鈥 You take your last shot and shake your head at Lee. They laugh along with you; your secret鈥檚 safe with them.
It鈥檚 getting late, and you have to debrief with Steve and Bucky in the morning about the mission. You can鈥檛 afford to be late or hungover for that. Lee heads out, and you make your way to bed, still pissed with Bucky.
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鈥淵ou did what?鈥 Steve shouts after hearing about Bucky leaving you to deal with an attacker alone. Bucky just stares at you, lips pressed into a thin line. He doesn鈥檛 speak, but he doesn鈥檛 need to. His eyes say it all.
鈥淚t鈥檚 fine,鈥 you say, standing abruptly from your chair. You can鈥檛 sit still anymore. 鈥淚鈥檓 fine. Nothing happened. Just don鈥檛 do it again.鈥 The first part of your statement, you say directly to Steve. The second part, you spit at Bucky. It just fuels the fire.
鈥淚t鈥檚 not like I鈥檇 do that on purpose,鈥 Bucky says, his voice getting louder.
鈥淏ut you also didn鈥檛 come back for me. You were going to leave me there!鈥 Steve looks between the two of you like he is watching a tennis match.
鈥淚 came back, Y/N! What else was I supposed to do? Magically sense that he was there and kill him for you?鈥 You roll your eyes and open your mouth to respond, but before you can, he is speaking over you. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e a big girl,鈥 he says, voice dripping with vitriol. 鈥淵ou can handle yourself. If you can鈥檛, maybe you should rethink your profession.鈥 He storms out of the room, letting the sting of his words settle.
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Two weeks later, you are put on another mission with Bucky. It鈥檚 simple-- well, it was supposed to be. Everything is going wrong. There are more agents in the building than you originally planned for, and there are too many people guarding the hard drive you are after. You and Bucky are outnumbered. You take down as many of them as you can, but they just keep coming. While both of you and Bucky had called for backup, no one was coming to save you. You are in it alone.
The brief for the mission had been tense; you hadn鈥檛 spoken to each other since that day he told you to get a new job. He had no idea how much it hurt to hear him say that, literally the day before you had been defending him to Lee, and he just tore you down in an instant.
Ever since Tony had recruited you, you鈥檇 felt like you weren鈥檛 meant to be there. You didn鈥檛 have super strength, you weren鈥檛 bitten by anything, and as far as you knew, you hadn鈥檛 been injected with any super cool hero goo. You were just really good at stealing shit. It isn鈥檛 a superpower. It isn鈥檛 even something people could appreciate. But Tony saw something in you, so you had to believe that you were there for a reason.
Searing pain in your leg brings your thoughts back to the present moment. You dive out of the way and press yourself as tightly as possible behind a shelving unit, seeking cover from the onslaught of gunfire you are taking. Bucky is firing back, but his eyes are searching for you. He finds you pushing back against the wall, pressing on your leg. Blood seeps from your fingers out onto the floor. The click of his gun alerts him to the fact that he is out of ammo. He crouches down next to you, checking for more but comes up empty.
鈥淎re you okay?鈥 Bucky asks quietly, giving you a once over. He pulls a knife out of his pocket and flips it through his fingers. You nod and reach for your own knife, feeling it in your waistband.
鈥淗elp me up,鈥 you say through gritted teeth, trying to push yourself up. Bucky shakes his head, but the men are approaching. You don鈥檛 have time to argue with him. 鈥淩ight, I鈥檓 a big girl. I鈥檒l just do it myself.鈥 Bucky rolls his eyes, but he doesn鈥檛 have time for a snarky remark. The men are firing again. You force the pain in your leg out of your head and focus on the task at hand.
You pull the knife from your waistband and wait for the perfect moment to jump into the fight Bucky had started. The two of you make quick work of the agents, stabbing and slashing at them expertly. Once all the agents are down, pain floods your body. You have done a good job of pushing it away, but you don鈥檛 have the energy to keep it up. You fall back against the wall and press your hand to your gunshot wound.
鈥淎re you gonna be able to get out?鈥 Bucky asks, gesturing to the 8 flights of stairs you鈥檒l have to descend to get out of the building.
鈥淚鈥檒l be fine,鈥 you grunt, pushing off the wall and stumbling a bit. 鈥淏ig girl, remember?鈥 You walk past him, dragging your leg a bit. The thought of making the trek down the stairs makes you want to throw up, but you can鈥檛 let Bucky know that. He waits behind you, only walking down the stairs once you have gone.
鈥淟et me carry you,鈥 he mumbles, voice horse. You stop walking and face him, trying to keep your weight off your leg.
鈥淗ell no,鈥 you huff, laughing a bit at the proposition.
鈥淲ell, I doubt you could hate me more than you already do, so deal with it, I guess.鈥 He passes you quickly on the stairs and goes to your side, sliding one arm behind your knees and the other on your back.
鈥淏ucky, don鈥檛--鈥
鈥淵ou鈥檙e too slow on your own. I don鈥檛 want to be in this place longer than we need to be.鈥 You can鈥檛 squirm out of his grip, and you can鈥檛 think of a witty response, so you just hold onto him as he carries you out.
You鈥檝e never been this close to Bucky. You can smell his pine body wash mixed with his sweat; it is intoxicating. Finally, the two of you reach the bottom floor, but Bucky doesn鈥檛 set you down. He walks you all the way to the jet, putting you down in the co-pilot chair. A weird tension falls over the two of you, but it is different than the one that had been present earlier.
鈥淭hanks,鈥 you grumble, pushing through your bag, looking for your medkit.
鈥淲e鈥檇 still be up there if I hadn鈥檛 carried you,鈥 he replies curtly as he readies the jet for takeoff. You find a large roll of gauze and wrap it around your leg to apply pressure. You don鈥檛 have the skills to do anything better, so that鈥檒l have to do until you get back to the Tower. You try to get some sleep on the ride home. It鈥檚 about a two-hour flight, but every time you shut your eyes, you feel Bucky staring at you. After about 30 minutes, you get fed up with it.
鈥淐an I help you?鈥 You ask somewhat groggily. You turn your head and look at Bucky, raising your eyebrows to emphasize the question.
鈥淚 was just checking to see if you鈥檙e okay; I thought that鈥檚 what you wanted.鈥 He huffs a little bit and focuses back on the flight.
鈥淕od, you鈥檙e infuriating,鈥 you mumble, turning in your seat, so your back is to the man. The rest of the trip is spent in silence, and you can finally fall asleep.
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鈥淗ey, Y/N,鈥 Bucky says gently, shaking your shoulder a bit to wake you. 鈥淲e鈥檙e back.鈥 You rub your eyes, trying to shake the sleep from your body.
鈥淥kay.鈥 You push yourself up from the chair but immediately fall, crumpling into Bucky鈥檚 body. He catches you and holds you up, but you try to push away.
鈥淵ou can鈥檛 walk,鈥 he says, pulling you back into his arms. Without asking, he picks you up and starts to carry you off the jet. Neither of you speaks, and the silence that falls over you is surprisingly comfortable. All you hear is the sounds of his heavy boots on the steel floor and the soft whirring of his metal arm in his jacket. You rest your head on his shoulder, and Bucky inhales sharply, holding his breath. He carries you into the elevator and down to the medical wing, dropping you off gently onto one of the open beds.
鈥淭hanks,鈥 you say to him somewhat awkwardly. One of the doctors walks over and quickly starts treating your wounds. You shoo Bucky away, not wanting him to be around for when you had to take off your pants. He makes himself scarce but can鈥檛 help but pace outside in the hallway until you are discharged. It is a quick fix, and you鈥檒l be back on your feet soon, so you are able to hobble your way back to your room all on your own. A message from Tony on your phone alerts you to at least two weeks of desk work, but then you鈥檒l be back in the field just in time for his next lavish party.
You have a love-hate relationship with Tony鈥檚 parties. You like getting drunk, but you don鈥檛 like the whole interacting with other people thing. Normally, most agents don鈥檛 go to the parties, it tends to just be the Avengers and the higher-ups, but since you are partners with an Avenger, you have to make an appearance. Tony insists that you and Bucky make your rounds and talk to all the important people. You will tolerate it, hooking your arm around Bucky鈥檚, smiling and nodding along to what the man says to everyone. The second you are done with everything, you and Bucky will go your separate ways.
That鈥檚 the plan for tonight鈥檚 party as well. Get in, get drunk, get out.
Easy.
Lee helps you get dressed; they love doing your hair and makeup. You decide to wear a short lavender satin dress with a low back, the fabric pooling just at the base of your spine. It is a bit more skin than you are used to showing, but you don鈥檛 have many dress options. You鈥檙e somewhat wary of showing off your stitched-up wound, but it鈥檚 healing nicely, and you are set to get the stitches out in a few days. You slip on a pair of heels and take a shot with Lee for good luck before heading out. Perks of living in the Tower: no commute home.
You make your way to the 50th floor where the party is being held and are greeted by the loud sounds of dancing, mingling, and music. Stepping out of the elevator, you immediately look for the bar. You make a b-line for it and order yourself a vodka soda, taking it from the bartender, thankfully. A hand on your lower back makes you shiver, and you spin around to face the owner of the hand. Bucky.
鈥淵ou look nice,鈥 he says, leaning in close. You continue to sip at your drink and roll your eyes.
鈥淭hanks, Grandpa,鈥 you reply.
Suddenly, Tony鈥檚 voice pierces through the noise of the party, and you and Bucky visibly cringe. 鈥淎h, my favorite broody pair. What鈥檙e you two doing hiding out over here? You know the rules, make your rounds and then get shit-faced.鈥 He claps the two of you on the shoulders and you down the rest of your drink, earning a scoff from Tony.
You set down your glass and try to link arms with Bucky, but he has different plans. His hand slides into place on your lower back, gloved fingers reaching to your waist. You inhale sharply, but he鈥檚 already walking and pushing you lightly to stay next to him.
The two of you make your rounds, talking to investors and big-shot corporate people, but you can barely focus on anything other than Bucky鈥檚 hand pressing against your skin. Even through the leather gloves, you can feel the heat of his hand.
Finally, the two of you make your way back to the bar, but Bucky鈥檚 hand doesn鈥檛 leave your skin. He orders you another drink which you sip at, trying to ignore how close Bucky is standing to you.
鈥淲hy are you so grumpy tonight, doll,鈥 he asks somewhat sarcastically. You lean against the bar and look up at him, glaring a bit.
鈥淚鈥檓 not grumpy; I just don鈥檛 like parties. We鈥檝e been to enough of 鈥檈m together. You should know that by now.鈥 You down the rest of your drink and motion to the bartender for another.
鈥淚f you hate 鈥檈m so much, why do you dress up so nice?鈥 You scoff; he keeps complimenting you. It鈥檚 weird.
鈥淏ecause if I didn鈥檛, Tony would have my head.鈥 The bartender brings you a new glass, and you push the ice around with one of the little black straws.
鈥淎nd here I thought you were doing it all for me.鈥 He laughs and presses a little firmer on your waist with his fingers. You huff a little and shift your footing. 鈥淎w, am I ruffling your feathers, pretty girl?鈥
鈥淲hat鈥檙e you playing at, Barnes,鈥 you ask, sipping your drink and trying to ignore how much you like it when he calls you that.
鈥淎m I not allowed to compliment you?鈥 He smirks, and you know you鈥檝e been caught.
鈥淚t鈥檚 just that you鈥檝e never been all that nice to me, so it鈥檚 just--鈥 you take a sip as you try to find the word. 鈥淣ew, I guess.鈥 Bucky laughs and sips his own drink, which you think is kind of weird considering the man can鈥檛 get drunk. The song changes to something more upbeat, and a woman makes her way to the bar.
鈥淗ey, Buck,鈥 she says, putting a well-manicured hand on his arm. 鈥淵ou wanna dance?鈥 Bucky looks uncomfortable but forces a smile and walks out to the floor with her. You shiver in the absence of his hand on your back but push the feeling from your mind. So what? Bucky鈥檚 a dick, and you don鈥檛 care what he thinks or who he dances with.
You watch him dance with the scantily clad woman. She wraps herself around him, grinding against him, but his gaze isn鈥檛 on her but instead staring straight ahead. His jaw is tense, and his hands never touch her, only hover above her skin. You still hate the sight, but since when did you care?
鈥淵/N, right?鈥 You tear your gaze away from Bucky and the woman, shifting it to the man who has approached you. It takes you a moment to remember his name, but after a few seconds, it comes to you.
鈥淵eah, Jon?鈥 He nods and gives you a not-so-subtle once over, eyes lingering on your exposed skin.
鈥淗ow about a dance?鈥 You feel eyes on you, and over Jon鈥檚 shoulder, you can see Bucky staring daggers in your direction. It鈥檚 enough motivation for you to accept the invitation.
鈥淚鈥檇 love to dance.鈥 You grab Jon鈥檚 hand and pull him out onto the dance floor, still within Bucky鈥檚 line of sight.
You press yourself against Jon, who is happy to hold you close. You aren鈥檛 dancing as sexily as the woman with Bucky, but it鈥檚 enough to piss him off. Jon is pretty into it until Bucky approaches. He grabs your arm and pulls you away from Jon, much to your dance partner鈥檚 dismay. Jon makes no attempt to fight for you, though, and makes his way over to Bucky鈥檚 abandoned dance partner. You try to wiggle out of Bucky鈥檚 grip, but there is no escaping him. He pulls you into the elevator and jabs at one of the buttons.
鈥淲hat the hell was that?鈥 He asks, still holding onto your arm. His grip is tight. It鈥檒l probably leave a bruise.
鈥淭he fuck, Bucky, I was just dancing,鈥 you say, noticing that Bucky has pressed the button for the top floor. 鈥淲hy are we going to the Avengers floor?鈥 The doors open, and he drags you out and into the main room. It鈥檚 deserted since everyone is down at the party. It鈥檚 strange for it to be so quiet.
鈥淚 just wanted somewhere quiet to talk,鈥 he replies, releasing your arm. You rub at the skin he had been holding onto. It鈥檚 sore from his grip.
鈥淵ou could鈥檝e just said that. I would鈥檝e gone with you.鈥 He scoffs a bit and rolls his eyes at you.
鈥淵ou hate listening to me; we both know that.鈥 He鈥檚 right; you do hate listening to him. But what you hate more is when he鈥檚 right.
鈥淥h come on, Buck, what鈥檚 wrong?鈥 You ask, leaning your back against the wall. Bucky paces around in front of you, obviously thinking about something.
鈥淲hat were you doing with that guy?鈥 He takes his gloves off and tosses them onto a table a few feet away.
鈥淲e were just dancing; what were you doing with that girl?鈥 You ask, voice a bit higher-pitched than you hoped it would be.
鈥淪he was dancing. I was too busy watching your display with that Jon guy.鈥 He takes a few steps toward you, standing close again. You can smell his cologne; it makes your knees weak. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 seriously like that guy, do you?鈥 You don鈥檛, but you kind of like how messed up Bucky is over this.
鈥淪o what if I do? It鈥檚 not like I鈥檓 with anyone right now.鈥 Bucky shrugs off his suit jacket and drops it unceremoniously to the ground. You鈥檒l never admit it, but he looks really good like that. The disheveled assassin look is very hot.
鈥淵ou think that guy knows how to treat you, right? How to take care of you?鈥 His voice drops toward the end of the statement, and he steps closer. He is inches from you, close enough to touch.
鈥淥h, and you think you do? That鈥檚 real funny, Buck.鈥 He places his metal arm next to your head, leaning against the wall.
鈥淲ho says I don鈥檛? It鈥檚 not like you鈥檝e given me a chance to show you.鈥 You suck in a breath; his face is so close to yours. It feels like his eyes are about to swallow you whole.
鈥淲hat d鈥檡ou mean? You鈥檙e always so mean to me. You hated me from the second I got here.鈥 You feel yourself deflate a little at the thought of meeting Bucky, having him reject you instantly. He had even asked Tony for a new partner in front of you on that first day.
鈥淚鈥檝e never hated you, Y/N, it鈥檚 just--鈥 He licks his lips as he thinks of what to say next. 鈥淚鈥檝e never worked with someone other than Steve.鈥 You don鈥檛 like his explanation. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 wanna hurt you or put you in a bad spot. Plus, you鈥檙e so cute when you鈥檙e all worked up.鈥 You drop your eyes, unable to stare into his anymore. Bucky chuckles, stepping one of his feet in between yours.
鈥淵ou should鈥檝e told me you didn鈥檛 hate me,鈥 you say, voice a bit raspy. 鈥淢aybe I would鈥檝e been nicer.鈥 You know that you probably still would鈥檝e been snarky; it鈥檚 just the kind of person you are.
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 think I鈥檇 like you as much as I did,鈥 he says, bringing his flesh hand up to brush a piece of hair out of your face. 鈥淪o I kept it up, hoping that you鈥檇 distance yourself from me. I鈥檓 not much of a people person.鈥 His hand comes to rest at the nape of your neck, thumb pressing gently at your jaw.
鈥淪o what, is this your big confession?鈥 You say, trying to hide your nervous excitement. You鈥檇 never said it out loud, but you鈥檝e always had a bit of a crush on the man. You like how he teases you, and sure sometimes he takes it a bit far, but so have you. It isn鈥檛 a one-sided thing, but the day he told you to get a new job had been a new level. You really thought he鈥檇 hated you.
鈥淪ure,鈥 he says, and before you can respond, he presses his lips to yours. You gasp a bit against the kiss, but he angles your head with his hand to fit against him better. The kiss is hot, passionate, and full of everything you鈥檝e been feeling for the past few months as his partner.
Your hands wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. His hands find their way to your back, arching it off the wall. You moan softly into the kiss, face heating. You didn't mean to make that noise.
鈥淕od, if you wanted me that bad, you just had to say so,鈥 Bucky says against your lips. He picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He holds you close, supporting your hips and back with his strong hands. Bucky walks you to his room, kicking the door open. He tosses you down onto his bed, and you land with a little squeal.
He鈥檚 on you in an instant. Kissing you, hands tangling in your once-styled hair. Your hands roam all over him, feeling his build through his thin shirt. Eventually, your fingers find the buttons on the front of his shirt. You make quick work of them and pull the fabric from his body, and he happily discards it on the ground. Bucky stares down at you, eyes hungry and dark. He looks like a fucking god, and it makes you want him that much more. His hands run up your legs, pushing your dress up and up until your panties are exposed.
His hand grazes over your gunshot wound, and immediately the fire inside you is doused. Bucky sees it, and you can tell his focus is entirely on your stitched-up flesh. His fingers trace the bandage; it鈥檚 something Banner had come up with. The stitches and bandages are clear, so observing the wound鈥檚 healing is easier. At this moment, though, you wish Bucky couldn鈥檛 see the damage to your leg.
鈥淏uck,鈥 you whisper, placing a hand over his, covering your stitches. 鈥淲here鈥檇 you go?鈥 You ask quietly. It鈥檚 something he asks you when he catches you spacing out on the jet. You say it in an attempt to make him smile, but all he does is shake his head.
鈥淭his is my fault,鈥 he says quietly. You push yourself up to sit and reach a hand up to Bucky鈥檚 face. He leans his head into your hand, but his eyes stay on your leg.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 blame you, Buck. It鈥檚 part of the job; you did what you could.鈥 His eyes flit back to yours, and you see the storm clouds rolling in his usually bright blue eyes. Before that moment, you hadn鈥檛 gotten around to mentioning that you don鈥檛 hold a grudge about that day you鈥檇 been ambushed.
Shit happens. It鈥檚 impossible to be everywhere all at once. You know that.
鈥淚鈥檓 a shitty partner,鈥 he says with a dry chuckle. You know he doesn鈥檛 mean for it to be funny, but you laugh a little anyways. He stares at you in surprise, but you ignore the look. Instead, you push yourself to sit up. You crawl on top of him and push his chest back, so he hits the mattress with a little oof .
Bucky watches as you lean over him and press gentle kisses to his forehead, nose, cheeks, jaw, and collar bones. His eyes are wide with disbelief, and honestly, if you weren鈥檛 right here kissing him, you鈥檇 have a hard time believing it too.
Without realizing it, you鈥檝e begun to focus your affection on his left shoulder, where skin meets metal. You鈥檝e heard Bucky talk about how much his arm affects him. It鈥檚 a constant reminder of his past, of the person he tries so hard not to be anymore.
You show him how beautiful you think it is.
鈥淒on鈥檛 talk about my partner that way,鈥 you mumble against his skin. Though the words are quiet, you know Bucky has heard them. You continue kissing down his abdomen, planting one on each rib, on that little trail of hair that leads below his belt. As you鈥檙e about to unbutton his pants, Bucky grabs you and pulls you back up, so you鈥檙e face to face with him. You can feel his cock pressed against your center, and you shiver at the pleasant pressure it provides.
Bucky grips your hips tightly, and the pressure makes you want him even more.
鈥淔uck,鈥 he mutters, shifting your hips to grind against him ever so slightly. Something snaps in him, and you practically see the shift. Bucky鈥檚 fingers find the edge of your dress and tug it up off of you before discarding it on the floor.
His eyes take in every inch of your exposed skin. Your first instinct is to cover up, but under Bucky鈥檚 gaze, you feel confident. You give Bucky a smile, and he flashes one right back, though his is much more mischievous than yours.
Before you get a chance to ask him of his plans, Bucky flips the two of you over, so he鈥檚 got you caged between his arms. He kisses you briefly on your lips before trailing his mouth down your body, nipping at your skin as he moves. When he settles between your legs, he looks like a man starved. Bucky whispers something to himself that you can鈥檛 hear then spreads his tongue along your core. His breath is hot on your sensitive skin, and you can鈥檛 help but grip his hair in your fingers.
He works you expertly, bringing you to your peak after only a few moments. No one has ever made you feel this way. Your thoughts swim; you can only think of Bucky and his talented tongue.
鈥淧lease, Buck,鈥 you groan, not even sure why you鈥檙e begging. You know he鈥檚 going to give it to you; he鈥檚 going to make you come. And he does, he picks up his pace, focusing on what makes you squirm, and with a final tug on his hair, you come undone. Pleasure washes over you, and you moan loudly, not caring who hears.
When Bucky kisses his way back up your body, you feel warmth spread through your body. He smiles at you again, and you tug him down to kiss you. You can taste yourself on his lips, and it spurs you on.
鈥淐an I fuck you?鈥 He asks through gritted teeth. His question takes you by surprise, but you nod a few times, put in a trance by his eyes. They shine so brightly. He kisses you again quickly before grabbing a condom out of the nightstand drawer. Bucky mutters to himself under his breath as he rolls the condom then lines himself up with you. He swears under his breath, and all you can do is stare up at him.
鈥淧lease,鈥 you whisper, gripping his arm tightly.
You watch him roll the condom over himself and try not to groan at the sight. You can鈥檛 believe that less than an hour ago, you were convinced he hated your guts.
Bucky positions himself between your legs, and the sight takes your breath away. 鈥淔uck,鈥 you whisper as he pushes into you. Bucky huffs out a laugh at your reaction; he can鈥檛 seem to get enough. He leans in to kiss you, reassuring you as he pushes into you. The stretch is perfect, and he fills you better than anything you could鈥檝e imagined.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e so fucking perfect,鈥 he whispers against your lips. You can鈥檛 formulate words, so your reply is a jumbled mess of whimpers and moans. Bucky grins into the kiss, threading his fingers into your hair. Bucky uses the grip to hold you still as he ravages your mouth. His teeth scrape your lips, and you moan at the action, not bothered by how loud you are. He rocks into you, not pulling out but just keeping himself seated deep inside of you.
Your brain feels like it鈥檚 short-circuiting as electricity courses through you. Bucky sets a deep, steady pace that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head. No one has ever fucked you like Bucky is now; you didn鈥檛 know people could even be this good at it.
Somehow, Bucky can read you like a book. He kisses your lips sweetly and whispers that you don鈥檛 need to talk. Just let him do all the work. You鈥檙e not even sure you can move even if you want to.
Your hands wander over his back and shoulders, feeling his skin and scars. They explore his shoulder, the mechanism fusing skin and metal, and a shiver travels down Bucky鈥檚 spine. It spurs him to move faster, and waves of pleasure wash over you.
You get closer and closer to your release, the way Bucky is working your body, hitting all the right spots, is perfect. There鈥檚 just enough friction against your clit to make you see stars, and as you near your orgasm, Bucky kisses down your neck, sucking on the soft spot just below your jaw.
鈥淥h my god, Bucky,鈥 you whimper, sucking in a breath. 鈥淚鈥檓 so close,鈥 your voice is barely audible, but he can still hear you.
鈥淚 know, I know,鈥 he comforts, pressing you further into the mattress. 鈥淚 need you to come for me. You gonna do that?鈥 You nod your head quickly, screwing your eyes shut. 鈥淣eedta hear the magic word.鈥 Frustration creeps into your thoughts, but it doesn鈥檛 stick around long. You want to come more than you want to pick a fight.
鈥淵es, Bucky,鈥 you say through a groan. 鈥淧lease.鈥 The word flips a switch, and Bucky changes his approach, his pace speeds up, and his metal fingers find your clit. Your eyes flutter open for just long enough to see Bucky鈥檚 bright blues flash.
鈥淎tta girl.鈥 You can鈥檛 hold eye contact for long, your orgasm washes over you, and you lose any coherent thoughts in your mind. Bucky follows you a few moments later, collapsing on top of you once he鈥檚 spent.
When you finally come out of your post-orgasm haze, you find yourself combing your fingers through Bucky鈥檚 hair. He is tracing shapes on your abdomen and legs, tickling you but not in an uncomfortable way.
鈥淒o we have to pretend to hate each other tomorrow?鈥 You ask quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace that has easily fallen over the two of you.
Bucky shakes his head. 鈥淣o, they probably already know.鈥 You furrow your brow and stick your hand out, feeling around for your phone. You find it shoved under a pillow, but you鈥檙e not sure how it got there.
You unlock it and find a few texts, but the one that stands out is from Lee, 鈥淐an鈥檛 say I didn鈥檛 see it coming鈥 I expect a full report ASAP ;)鈥 You roll your eyes and toss your phone toward the edge of the bed. Explaining everything can come later. Figuring out your feelings can wait.
Right now, all that matters is the feeling of Bucky鈥檚 skin on yours, of his whispered words on your lips.
Easy.
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fan-fictent 6 days ago
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If you鈥檙e comfortable could you do a Steve Harrington x hopper reader where Steve and the reader have broken up for a little and the reader has been dating a guy on the football team, and he has been abusive towards her and Steve finds out then he tells hopper and Joyce (Byers hopper family dynamic) with 鈥淲ho the fuck did this to you? I'll kill them myself. And #29 sentence.
Reaching out // Steve Harrington x Hopper!Reader and Hopper-Byers Family x Hopper!Reader (Platonic) Sentence 29: You deserve better then some asshole like him.
Serious talk for a quick second: I went through an abusive relationship a while back and just wanted to say: If anyone reading this needs help in that kind of situation, make sure you reach out to a helpline and get the support to leave that relationship. This was very cathartic for me to write and I actually use writing as a kind of therapy. Thank you so much to the kind anon who requested this! (I used a random name for the abusive partner in this case)
Warnings: Talk of abuse, cursing, description of injuries caused by an abusive partner. These are some major trigger warnings since the plot revolved around this.
Tropes: Comfort Hurt and some fluff.
A/N: This is the same setting I use for my other Hopper!Reader fanfics (The best date in the world and keep the door open three inches). Thanks for reading this!
Summary: After breaking up with your boyfriend, Steve Harrington, you try and distract yourself by sleeping with a cute boy. What you didn't know was that he would be the worst thing to ever happen to you.
Your head was ringing. It was always fucking ringing. It was another morning of waking up in the arms of the man you both hated and feared but couldn't leave for some fucking reason and even though it was the afternoon, you still felt the disgust.
There was a medium sized bruise on your cheek and some smaller ones on your arms. Defensive wounds, as your dad called them on the women who came into the station, looking much like you did now. You had promised yourself years ago that you would never end of one of those women. You were too tough, independent and a fighter until the end. Your dad was a goddamn police chief.
But here you were, covering the bruises with concealer and foundation, trying to forget the what had happened only hours earlier. It had been a dumb mistake, getting with Jack. He had been a one-night stand, a hook up to forget about your ex, Steve Harrington. Yet somehow, he slithered his way into your life and into your heart. When he showed his true colors, it was too late to leave.
The car ride was silent. There was anything to be said between you really. You imagines leaving him, the car and everything behind but you couldn't. He scared you. You had faced the upside down but Jack scared the living shit out of you.
"Hey Y/N!" Your bestfriend called to you from across the parking lot as you got out of the car. Robin waved frantically, inviting you over to her. Next to her, Steve stood awkwardly, embarrased. "Get your butt over here!"
A part of you hated how you had become. You looked at Jack for premission before even daring to walk over. Every single fighting spirit you had, was gone. You really were a shadow of your old self, the one who took no bullshit from no one. Jack gave a curt nod and you walked over.
"Hey Robby." You laughed, pulling Robin into a hug and wincing slightly as she grabbed the hidden bruises. Robin was too excited to notice. "What's up?"
"I'm just excited to play for band and excited to see you!" Robin pulled you into another hug, "Excited to see Jack play?"
"Yeah. Thrilled." You get out through a pained smile. Not only was it awful to think about Jack, but talking in front of an ex about a new boyfriend was unbearable.
"Hope we win. Jason's way overhyped this whole thing for us to lose now." Robin laughs and you give an awkward laugh with her. The truth is, you are praying the team doesn't lose. Jack would be pissed off beyond belief and you don't need to deal with that anymore.
You excuse yourself to go and find a good seat on the bleachers, find someone else or just be alone at this point. Talking to people and hanging around crowds used to be your thing, life of the party sort of vibes. Jack had really stripped you of everything, hadn't he?
You sat down on the bleachers and just sat, listening to your walkman until the game started. When it started, you failed to notice Steve watching you. Steve could tell something was wrong. He knew you, hell he still loved you. He remembered when you had this spark in your eyes that would light something inside of him and make any room a thousand times brighter. That spark was out, fully out.
You were too focused on the game, dread building in your chest as the opposing team got more and more points. Jack's anger was visible on the field and you wanted to break down right there and then. This? This was your worst nightmare.
It became a reality when the buzzer sounded and the game was really lost. You slowly walked down to where the basketball team sat and saw Jack glaring at you. You wanted to run but your body betrayed you and you were stuck.
"Come on." Jack grunted, grabbing your arm tightly and dragging you our of the gym. Steve watched again, his gut telling him to follow you guys.
"Jack-" You started but were cut off by him throwing you into the empty lockeroom.
"Fucking hell Y/N!" Jack roared, pushing you harshly. "You are such a bitch, you know that? You distracted me with the fight earlier so I would fuck up the game didn't you?"
"No I didn't!" You protest.
"Don't you fucking lie to me!" Jack's fist collided with your nose and you cry out in pain. You stumble a bit, leaning against the wall for support.
"Hey! Hey get the fuck off of her asshole!" Another voice yells and for a second, you wonder who it is but the voice is familiar. It's Steve Harrington.
"Get the hell out of here man." Jack says in a cold voice as you try to clean up your nose. Steve starts to walk towards you but Jack throws a punch at Steve. Steve somehow dodges it and punches Jack back, harder and faster. Steve hits him another three times before Jack decides to just leave.
"Fuck you dude." Jack yells as he sprints from the bathroom. You half expect Steve to go after him and leave you alone but he's right by your side.
"Y/N, a-are you okay?" Steve asks worried and you try to nod your head but you don't want to lie to Steve. So you shake your head no, telling someone that you need help for the first time in months. "How long has he been doing that? Hurting you?"
"A while." Your voice is barely a whisper, "I- I didn't know how to leave or tell someone."
"I'm gonna drive you home, okay Y/N?" Steve asks softly and you nod your head. Steve gives you a worried smile. "Do you want help cleaning up your nose first?"
"Is it bad?"
"Just a little bloody." Steve grabs a papertowel and begins mopping up the blood. His left hand is cupping your face. His finger tips barely brush your skin but it feels like too much and too little. You missed Steve too much.
"Jack's an asshole." You murmur at somepoint, voicing your thoughts.
"He's an abusive asshole. You deserve so much better than some asshole like him Y/N. You really do." Steve finishes up cleaning your face, "It's the best it's going to get without medical supplies. I'll drive you home and if you want, I can help more there."
"Yes please." Your voice is meek as you and Steve walk down the dark corridors. It's been long enough so that no one else is really around and you're greatful no one else can see you like this.
On the drive to your house, it's quiet. Not because there isn't things to be said but because niether of you know how to bring it up. Steve's mind floods with all the times you acted weird around Jack or wore something to cover up an unusual area. How had he missed it?
"Thank you for driving me home Steve." You break the silence, "You really didn't have to do anything."
"Bullshit. I'd be a terrible person if I just let you go home after what that complete dickhead did to you." Steve responds quickly.
"You're a great person Steve. Honestly. Thank you for helping me even though you didn't have to." You sigh as the silence fills the car, "I just don't know what to tell my dad or Joyce. Hell, how do I explain this to Johnathan, Will or El?"
"I can help if you'd like. You can talk to me about anything, you know that right? Even though we're not dating, I still care about you."
"Thanks. I didn't actually mean to date Jack, I just wanted something to distract myself after we broke up." You say quietly, "I don't know how I got into this kind of mess. I really don't."
"Hey, don't worry about Jack anymore. If he comes near you, I will beat his ass. I promise." Steve reassures you, grabbing your hand and squeezing it softly. At the same time, he pulled into your driveway. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah." You let out a deep breath and opened your car door. You and Steve met infront of the car and he grabbed your hand again. The two of you walked up the stairs and opened the front door.
You felt panicked, not knowing how anyone would react. Would you be in trouble for not reaching out earlier? Was it your fault for not stopping it when it happened? Would they be mad?
"Hey Y/N! Why are you home lat-" Johnathan asked, strolling out from the kitchen with a colorful crown on his head. "Holy shit, what happened to you?"
"Wait, what happened to Y/N?" Joyce ran after her eldest son but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw you, nose broken and face bruised. "Johnathan, get the first aid kit and grab Hopper from our bedroom."
Johnathan ran up the stairs, calling for Hopper loudly. His voice was shaking slightly.
"Joyce, I-" You start but before you can fully say anything you begin to cry. Steve soothingly rubs your back but you can't help but cry while standing in the front hall of your house.
"Come on baby. Let's go to the kitchen to get you all cleaned up, okay?" Joyce says softly, leading you into the kitchen. Will and Eleven's faces go pale when they see the state you're in.
"Holy shit mom! What happened to her?" Will's voice breaks and El can't even speak.
"I need you guys out of the kitchen right now." Joyce states, calmly but sternly. The kids comply so she turns around to talk to Steve, who's helping you calm down even more, kneeling beside your chair. "Steve, what happened to Y/N?"
Before Steve can explain, there's a loud thundering of footsteps on the staircase. Your dad enters the kitchen, looking worried and angry.
"Who the fuck did this to you?" Hopper demands, looking at you with tears in his eyes. He sounds angry but mainly worried and scared. "I'll kill them myself."
"J-Jack." is the only thing you get out before sobs overtake you again. You look to Steve to explain more.
"Jack's been abusing Y/N. I- I don't know how long. I just walked in on him punching her in the face." Steve's voice falters and breaks as he explains what happened. "I tried to clean up her nose but- but some makeup came off as I was cleaning and there- there were more bruises."
Johnathan enters the room to hear Steve's explanation. Immediately, his eyes dart to you. You're holding some paper towels to your face, trying to dry tears that keep coming. He's filled with rage at the image of some guy getting a kick out of hurting you.
"I'm so sorry baby." Joyce pulls you in for a hug, holding you tightly. You can feel warm tears run down her own face. "I'm so so sorry baby."
Hopper is frozen in shock. He thought he would've known if something was happening to you. Tears sting his eyes as he kneels down next to you and pulls you into the same bear hug.
"I can help with the first aid kit." Steve whispers to Johnathan who gives a faint nod, walking over to the table and placing the box on the table. The two boys go through the medical kit as Joyce, Hopper and you are locked in a hug.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." Hopper murmurs in your ear. "I should've done better. I'll be better I promise."
You can't say anything as tears stream down your face and you choke back sobs.
"We have the med kit ready Ms. Byers." Steve says quietly. Joyce and hopper slowly lessen their grip on you. Joyce grabs the bandaids and begins cleaning your nose properly as Hopper grabs Steve and pulls him into the hallway.
"Thank you kid." Hopper says gruffly to the young man, holding his shoulder. "You have no idea how much that kid means to me. I'm glad you could help them when I couldn't."
"I love Y/N. I'll always help them." Steve tries to stand up taller and steady his voice but he can't. Everything was too much. Hopper pulled the kid into a hug and they stayed there for a few seconds.
"Does that hurt?" Joyce asked.
"No." You responded quietly, lying. It didn't hurt too much, just a pinch. It was better than what had happened before. Johnathan had gone to the living room to deal with Will and Eleven, leaving you and Joyce in the living room.
"My ex husband was the same kind of asshole." Joyce said, beginning to bandage your nose. "He used me as a punching bag but when that got boring, he turned on the kids. I could handle it when it was just me but my babies? No chance in hell was I putting them through that." Joyce's voice shook slightly.
"W-were you scared of leaving?"
"Yeah. I didn't have a great job and supporting two kids on my own seemed so hard. He was also a big scary man and a coward who hit women. Leaving him was the hardest and best thing I ever did."
"I was worried about what people would say." You practically whisper at Joyce, "I- I didn't want people to see me as a different person or see me as weak."
"You're not weak or a different person. You're Y/N Hopper, and you survived." Joyce finishes the bandaging and pulls you into another long hug.
"What was wrong with Y/N's nose?" Eleven asked Johnathan. Johnathan could bareky focus, his mind filled with a thousand thoughts.
"It looked broken. How'd she break her nose?" Will chimed in, equally as worried.
"Jack. Her asshole boyfriend broke her nose appearantly." Johnathan scoffed, his voice breaking.
"Jack hit her?" Will's jaw was on the floor as Johnathan gave a sharp nod before continuing to zone out.
"Isn't Jack her boyfriend?" Eleven asked, "Why did he hurt her?"
"Because he's an abusive dickhead." Johnathan replied, not caring that Eleven could barely understand what he was saying. "Because he's some pathetic loser who likes beating women."
"Oh." Eleven was quiet, "Is she okay?"
"She will be. Hopefully." Johnathan anxiously bit his nails. "She's Y/N, she'll be fine. She's the best of all of us afterall."
257 notes View notes
augusta-imperatrix 3 months ago
Text
Circus Horse
"CIRI?"
Geralt's voice echoed through the empty hallways of Kaer Morhen like thunder.
Jaskier, who was just putting new strings into his lute looked up from his task when Geralt stormed into the hall.
The Witcher had a furious grimace on his face, almost fuming with anger as he pointed at Jaskier.
"Bard!"
Jaskier lifted one eyebrow:
"We're back to job titles, are we, witcher?"
Geralt pressed his lips together, obviously trying (and failing) to keep calm.
"Where's Ciri?"
"Ciri? Not 'the princess'? Not 'my unbearable child surprise'? Not 'my nerve-wracking daughter'?"
Jaskier asked with a smug grin on his face.
He loved it when Geralt was angry, as long as he wasn't the cause or the target of his anger.
Which he of course was most of the time. Like today, but today Geralt didn't know who's idea all of this had been.
"She's all of that, so YES, her. Have you seen her?"
"No."
That was a lie. Of course Jaskier had seen her. He, in fact, had told her where to hide. Because he knew as long as he was around distracting the witcher, Geralt's nose wouldn't be able to detect his daughter.
Ciri was sitting behind one of the dusty curtains at the wall behind Jaskier, choking her giggling with her fists pressed to her lips.
The curtains where thick and heavy. They covered the windows to keep the wind blowing through the chinks, so they swallowed the surpressed laughter behind them perfectly.
"Why are you searching for her anyway?"
Jaskier asked, seemingly being the most innocent person to ever have walked this continent.
#
"Jaskiiiiiier."
Cirilla slumped her body across the table Jaskier was sitting at. He had taken a seat next to the windows to have enough light while patching up a hole in his doublet.
"I'm boooooored."
Jaskier smiled. He understood. Being a teenager was annoying as it was, but being surrounded only by considerably older people, rough witchers, a sorceress, and a bard, was an additional burden.
Jaskier lowered his hands.
"And what am I supposed to do?"
"I don't know."
Ciri had buried her head in her folded arms and huffed in annoyance.
"But if I tell Geralt or Yen that I'm bored they ALWAYS come up with work I can do. But I don't want to do anything."
Her voice sounded dull against her arms and the wooden table.
"Hmh..." Jaskier thought about it for a moment, his doublet by now completely abandoned.
"We could practice braiding hair again? I still keep messing up the strands. And when Geralt and I leave in the spring and you stay with Yen, I want to be able to reliably braid your father's hair."
Ciri lifted her head:
"Yeah, but who to practice on? Yen and Geralt? They'll just tell us to do something productive. Lambert..."
Without lifting his head, the witcher who sat a few tables over and was busy derusting his swords said:
"Don't even think about it."
Jaskier grinned and leaned closer to Ciri, whispering:
"Lambert, Lambert, what a jolly nice chap."
"I heard that."
Jaskier stifled a laugh. He shot Ciri a glance that very clearly said: those witchers and their damn heightened senses.
Ciri grinned back and rolled her eyes in agreement.
"So, who to ask?" Ciri sat up straight, propped up her arm and leaned her head into her open palm.
Jaskier thought about it for a moment:
"How about Roach? You know, the new Roach..."
A short moment of pain flickered over Ciri's features, but I vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
"She has a pretty long mane and tail. We could practice on her?"
Ciri's face light up:
"Oh, yes! Yen brought me some velvet ribbons, last time when she was buying potion ingredients. We could braid some of them into Roach's hair?"
Jaskier nodded:
"Good idea. You get the ribbons, I finish my sewing and we meet at the stable."
Ciri smiled widely, jumped onto her feet and ran out of the hall.
#
"Why are you searching for her anyway?"
"Because she defaced my poor horse."
Geralt's voice sounded slightly more calm by now.
"Oh, come on, Geralt. Those ribbons don't deface Roach. You can still ride her!"
"Yeah, but how am I supposed to take myself seriously when Roach looks like a second-rate circus horse and..."
The witcher stopped in his tracks and Jaskier immediately knew why.
"Oh shit." He mumbled under his breath, grinning apologetically up at Geralt.
"So it was your idea?"
Jaskier blushed.
"I...well...yes it was. She was bored and I..."
"So my lover and my daughter teamed up against me and my poor horse? Unbelievable."
Geralt's anger seemed to have evaporated and the bard shot him another glance.
The witcher walked around the table, and when he had almost reached Jaskier, the bard suddenly knew what would happen to him.
"Oh no, Geralt, please, have mercy, we...AHH!"
Strong fingers drilled into both sides of Jaskier's ribcage and the bard howled with laughter.
"Ciri, HELP! Humble bard in danger! Save meeeee!"
With a holler, Ciri jumped out of her hideout and onto Geralt's broad back. She tried to get his hands off of Jaskier, an action that left the witcher completely unfazed.
"Mercy, have mercy!" Jaskier gasped, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Please, good sir, have mercy!"
Finally, Geralt quit torturing the bard, who sunk back down on the bench, while the witcher plucked his daughter off his back and planted her down next to Jaskier.
"So...What do you two have to say for yourself?"
Jaskier knew Geralt tried to be strict, but the soft expression in his golden eyes told the bard that he and the princess had already won and were off the hook.
He still made an appropriately contrite face.
"Sorry, Geralt."
Ciri nodded:
"Yes. Sorry, father."
The corner of Geralt's mouth twitched. Ciri knew very well that he couldn't resist her when she called him father.
"For fucks sake. All right. Ciri, please go and free poor Roach from your... beautification."
The princess nodded and left the hall as fast as she could.
"And you."
The witcher grinned down at the bard, who stood up and wrapped his arms around the older man's torso, leaning his head against his chest.
"You stop and sabotage my already poor attempts at education."
Jaskier grinned and lifted his head, looking at Geralt.
"If you're honest with yourself, you know that you yourself are the one who's sabotaging her education."
Geralt laughed and pressed a small kiss to the bard's nose.
"Maybe you're right."
388 notes View notes
literaila 4 months ago
Text
to the floor, to the ground.聽
tasm peter parker x fem!reader聽
summary: eventually, there鈥檚 nothing left to do but throw it away.聽
series masterlist.
warnings: descriptions of anxiety, idiots, all the others.聽
a/n: hahahahahaha you鈥檙e all going to hate me. i鈥檓 very prepared for it. here what i can tell you now: the next part is written, waiting to be critcized by me. so. tomorrow, probably. love you! thank you all.聽
Tumblr media
*
it's a click in motion, for you.聽
suddenly, you're sure that you're looking at his eyes. suddenly, you're sure that this is what you want.聽
that this unbearable feeling is more than just accumulating pain.聽
something in your head, in your body, clicks into place and you are no longer hesitant about reaching out to touch him.聽
your hand goes to his neck, a slow movement you're not able to speed up, even with the adrenaline fresh in your veins.聽
your hand is slipping away his mask--the only face that he's worn around you in the months of your friendship, the only familiar thing that you have to look forward to when it's dark at night.聽
you don't care, you're so sure that the only right thing to do is throw it away.聽
you're slipping it up his soft skin, somehow exactly as you imagined it, and finally, you see your first glance of spider-man.聽
he's got a sharp jawline, full lips gently parted. he's got a heartbeat, you can feel now, with your hands on his neck.聽
and he's got a feeling, you can feel it, so similar to yours.聽
when he leans in, you don't even hesitate to do the same.聽
something has clicked, something is right about this, and why should you be wasting time when you could be kissing him?聽
his lips are soft, forceful, pleading against yours.聽
you're thinking that this is warmth, that this is silence, that this is walking home in the dark just to see him.聽
you kiss him harder, trying to pull him as close as he'll allow.聽
you can barely feel his hands, gripping onto you, can't feel the contraption around your wrist, slipping away and falling on the floor.聽
he must be swallowing you whole because you can barely breathe, can barely count the moments that pass by with the two of you closer than you'd ever been before.聽
you hadn't even contemplated this--not with him, not like this.聽
but it's such a perfect emotion being fueled into you that you no longer wish to breathe.聽
no longer wish to move away from him.聽
but you have to--you have to because you can feel him, digging deeper, screaming for more without the words. neither of you can speak.聽
you pull away from him, but you're still so close that when you open your eyes you seem to know exactly where his are. even through the mask, the one sight you've become used to seeing.聽
your eyes roll down, seeking the bottom half of his face again, as if you need a reminder of what he really looks like.聽
his lips are swollen now, this breath is short and fast-paced. matching, you're sure, you.聽
a gentle flow of air passes between the two of you, a moment slowing down, a heart rate speeding up. he hasn't said anything yet, and you're not sure you want to.聽
you're not even sure that you wanted to stop kissing him yet, with how much you enjoyed it.聽
you can almost feel a smile slipping from your lips, so genuine that it shocks you.聽
you look down again, away from hidden eyes, to see if he's smiling the same. to read him for the first time. to look at him again, because聽god, you have to take what you can get.聽
it's a click in your brain now.聽
something feels wrong even before you get the thought out. even before your mind leads you down that familiar curious route. something feels strange, unfamiliar against all the familiarity.聽
you feel something crash in your stomach, feel your brain click into place before you can even breathe again.聽
you feel your throat clench, your body freezing before you can process the face in front of you.聽
the lips, the nose, the jaw, the breath. familiar, breathtakingly similar.聽
he is not smiling.聽
you are not smiling.聽
"peter?" you choke out before you've even caught your breath.聽
something behind your eye stings as the man sitting in front of you, holding onto you so close, pauses.聽
his breathing slows, his mouth trying to form words.聽
you seem to recognize this lack of explanation, from time before, from childhood lies to strange answers.聽
as soon as your hands begin to move again, seemingly moved by a mind of their own, the man is trying to speak again.聽
"what?" he asks, he pleads, he bursts out with any breath at all. "no-" he shakes his head. "peter? i don't-"聽
but it's too late now, your hands have moved too far up his face, throwing curiosity away without a moment's hesitation.聽
they didn't listen when you told them to stop.聽
peter stops when the mask is off, when all you can see is a flash of terrified brown brown聽brown聽before you're looking away, blinded by the realization of the person sitting there with you.聽
of the person you just聽kissed.聽
a gag forms in your throat, a sudden sickness, a sudden exclamation coming from your mouth. you think you gasp, but you just feel numb.聽
you've moved off of him, standing up with all the strength you had, purposefully keeping your eyes off of the man in front of you.聽
peter.聽聽
"y/n," his voice is soft, still breathless, you're sure his mouth is still swollen. you're sure his hands are still on you, lying to you, even from six feet away. "you're hyperventilating, just, here-"
you see a hand reach out towards you, a red hot hand that you can't believe you can recognize now. a hand that will burn you again if you go anywhere near it.聽
you move back before you can take a breath, stepping as far away from him as possible. trying to force him away, from your mind, from your lips.聽
"i'm sorry," he whispers, but you're not looking at him so you don't know what he's sorry about.聽
you can't even-
"how?" your voice breaks. "wh-why? peter- how can you-" you shake your head, words failing, mind failing to collect all the information that's just been laid out in front of you. "you're..." your voice goes slack.聽
you hold a hand to your heart, willing yourself to feel something.聽
"i can explain," peter promises, voice getting louder.聽
you look up, eyes deranged. "explain?" you practically scoff, practically pushing him away from you with your voice. you're practically shoving him. "you're-you're spider-man."聽
peter stares at you, warm eyes chilled.聽
"what else is there to explain, peter?" you say his name like a curse, spitting out the word with a fit of sudden anger that's incomprehensible to you.聽
you're not even sure if you know this person in front of you. this person you thought you knew so well.聽
you're not even sure if you're alive, if you're not just some figment of an insane mind.聽
"yes," he says. "yes, i am, and i'm so sorry that i never told you, or..." his eyes are searching yours, looking for something, anything.聽
you look down, to the suit, to the red and blue that had become a lullaby in your mind. you look at all the vibrant colors, a comfort in the middle of the night.聽
you look up, back to his face.聽
you notice the cut now, the same one that you saw on peter, the same one you were curious about hours ago when you couldn't think clearly.聽
your mouth goes hard, your voice follows. "why are you doing this? why are you here?"聽
"y/n, i-"聽
"you聽left, peter!" your body is frozen, the weight increases in your stomach with every moment that you're looking at him. "you said you needed聽space, that you needed聽time--and clearly" you gesture to his spandex-clad body. "there was a reason why- i can clearly see why, but then, you're here?"聽
peter shakes his head, hand going to run through his hair. his eyes are avoiding yours, his movements are static.聽
his body is familiar, his face is a wonder to you, his voice and his lips and.聽
"you're here," you point to yourself, gesturing more, asking more, wanting more. "why are you here? you told me-" you pause, face falling.聽
peter stares, waiting for your next words, his eyes are worried, concerned, so brown.聽
his lips are swollen. you can feel the heat on his hands on your body, still.聽
"you kissed me."聽
"i did," peter nods. "y/n, i didn't want to get you involved in," his hand shakes as he gestures to himself, around. "any of this. i didn't want you to be in the middle of any of it."聽
"and then you-"聽
"i just wanted to keep you聽safe. first, there was ben and then-" he runs a reckless hand over his face. "i was so afraid to tell you, every time i saw you for that first week i couldn't say anything because i knew if i did..."聽
peter goes silent, and you follow, eyes observing him, angry, confused. you feel the fire in your chest, growing with his explanation.聽
it hurts to look at him, hurts to breath, hurts to move.聽
"you were my only constant. i just-" he sighs, neck lulling as he stares at the ground. "i just wanted to keep it that way." his eyes are quiet, his face is broken.聽
a part of you recognizes the pain flashing in his eyes. a part of you remembers his friendship, so devoted, so loving. a part of you feels his guilt, his remorse, so potent in the air that you could scream.聽
but then, your stomach is being pulled down, your heart has shattered into a million glass pieces, and your eyes are hard as you stare at him.聽
you feel almost nothing.聽
"so you lied to me, peter? you pretended to be someone else every night and just left me behind the rest of the time?"聽
peter looks up to you, mouth opening, eyes pleading. "i wasn't pretending anything, y/n, everything i said-"聽
"you聽let聽me talk about you, to your face. you knew how much your聽space" you tease the word, throw it at him as violently as you can, throw it until it hits him square in the chest. "was聽killing聽me and you didn't do anything?"聽
"i was going to hurt you!" his voice is desperate, begging for understanding even as he continues to lie to you, to throw out excuses as fast as you throw them back. "i was going to hurt you, and there wasn't going to be anything i could do to save you."聽
"you were hurting me anyway, peter! every time you looked at me, every time you pretended like i didn't mean anything-"聽
"you did, that's why, y/n, you have to understand-"聽
"what?" you demand, staring at him, telling him to back down. "i have to understand that you聽lied to me for three months, that you pretended you weren't my friend, and then pretended that you were, just to聽protect聽me?"聽
the both of you stop, unwilling thoughts.聽
a scoff makes its way out of your mouth, anger so fresh you can taste it. "that's not protection, peter. that's just hurting me for your own sake."聽
"i didn't want to hurt you," he says slowly, apprehensively. "that's why i'm here. when i saw you that first night-" he breaths in, a struggling breath. you feel the cold from his words. "i couldn't just leave you alone, y/n."聽
you stare at him, the memories of him, of someone else, of a friend that was never really yours, flashing in your mind.聽
you feel stupid, you feel forgotten, you feel used.聽
you feel absolutely nothing.聽
"but i told you-" you gasp out, shaking your head. "i told you how much it hurt." your face goes blank and you look away from him, down to the floor, down to the broken pieces. "i told you things i wouldn't have told anyone else."聽
peter doesn't seem to have an excuse for that.聽
you laugh again, bitterly, not allowing the tears to form in your eyes. "i felt so familiar around you..." you look up to him, shocked by his face again. "all the time, and i could never understand why-" you laugh again.聽
neither of you breathes for a moment. there is nothing but silence, nothing but the sound of guilt, ringing through the two of you.聽
"you could have just told me the truth, peter," you say, voice small again. you feel small, now. like you have been around him for weeks. "i would've..."聽
but you don't have anything to fill that sentence with. because you're not sure what you would've done, not sure what reaction you could've possibly had.聽
all you're sure of is now. when you didn't have a choice.聽
peter seems to know though because he laughs a little bit. "you would've told me not to do it."聽
your brow furrows, watching peter's body fall into itself a little bit more.聽
he almost smiles. "you would've been worried all the time. i knew that." he shakes his head. "you wouldn't have let me."聽
a breath of air comes from you, as you frown at him. "well at least i would've had that choice. at least i could've known."聽
but peter shakes his head.聽
"i'm sorry." is all he says, body falling silent. the fight going out of his body.聽
you don't bother to look at his eyes, not wanting to know what you're going to see there.聽
"i don't know what the truth is, y/n, but i should've told you. i know that."聽
your chest falls. "why didn't you, peter?" it's a plead, almost desperate for an answer different than you've heard. something else, anything, to just make you forgive him.聽
but he shakes his head.聽
he's not smiling.聽
you're not smiling.聽
something is coming up your throat, some unfamiliar feeling, some familiar face, following you.聽
you shake your head, trying to push it down.聽
"you need to go, peter," you say, breath faltering again. "please, just..."聽
and before you can look up, he's gone.聽
and it's only then, in the dark and the silence, in the absence of someone you suppose you've always known--it's then that you fall.聽
to the floor, to the ground. hard concrete cracking against your body.聽
and there is no spider-man to save you, it turns out, because spider-man never existed. not really.聽
there is no peter to protect you, because he doesn't know how.聽
there is no one but yourself.聽
and when your hand reaches out, towards the web-slinger on the ground, the very memory of peter, of spider-man, of a kiss that felt like nothing else.聽
you cradle it in your palm for a moment, sure that you can feel his hands again.聽
and then, you throw it across the room.聽
just like you've thrown everything else away.聽
*
peter put the mask back on.聽
too soon, he thinks, too quickly.聽
he slid it over his eyes before he could blink. he wonders if it's because it's cold, or because he doesn't want to see the person behind it.聽
the monster behind the mask, who he's been trying to avoid for weeks.聽
his smile is morse, his bones are full of glue, blood leaking out of him with every intake of breath.聽
he can barely feel anything, as he makes it home.聽
he's being too loud, too quiet, too guilty, too passive.聽
he knows that aunt may won't say anything though, so he doesn't let himself think about it.聽
instead, he stares at the wall in front of him. remembering a time when he did this with you, when you smiled at him, teasing him for staring at then looking away.聽
he didn't get a last glance back to you.聽
and he's sure that it's a missed opportunity--he's almost sure that he's not going to see you again. not with the right eyes, not with the right smile.聽
he thinks that you're gone, or that maybe he made you up.聽
or maybe he's gone, he can't really tell.聽
he can't tell anything, he's not sure of anything, but he can stare at the wall in front of him.聽
the wall with the one remaining picture.聽
he took the other ones of you down weeks ago--when he was beginning to feel crowded by your smile. when the guilt was starting to feel suffocating. when he was so sure that he would be taking more--in his head if nothing else--and that he would need more room for more.聽
but he didn't take the last one down.聽
it's a simple picture. a snapshot of you sitting at the picnic table, glaring at peter with a gentle glow of your eyes.聽
it's peter's favorite. maybe because of your smile, maybe because it was the first one on the wall.聽
it doesn't matter now.聽
he's been suffocated, his heart is crowded by guilt.聽
it doesn't matter.聽
it shouldn't matter now because peter has screwed up so frequently, so hesitantly, so mistakenly that there aren't going to be any more pictures.聽
no more smiles.聽
peter is sure that he'll never get the chance again.聽
if he knows anything, he knows that.聽
he lets his head go back, trying to force the stinging of his eyes away.聽
he shouldn't be allowed to be hurt over something that he did to himself.聽
he should never be allowed to take this mask off, no matter how suffocating it gets.聽
he looks back to the picture, the memory of your lips on his.聽
he winces, feeling the rattling in his chest.聽
and then he stands up, keeping the mask on. he moves over to the wall, giving the picture one last pained smile.聽
and then he takes it down.聽
so that maybe he can't hurt you anymore.聽
*
you sit, the light of your phone reflecting off of your face.聽
you don't sleep much, anymore.聽
not that you did before--but now it's not because of distractions, and rather, their absence.聽
it's so quiet late at night. so silent in the dark.聽
you haven't seen peter in a week. you haven't looked for him.聽
still, he's not there.聽
but now, you're staring at your phone, looking at a notification so unfamiliar to you that it feels wrong. strange. out of place.聽
let me know when you're ready to talk again.聽
it's a plagiarized message. a message that you sent months ago--when you still thought that he might answer your messages. it's a copy of a copy.聽
it's an olive branch, a notion towards you, a willingness to admit that he was wrong.聽
it's another broken boundary, another line peter insists he must cross.聽
you're not sure why he's sent it. you didn't ask for space, you told him to leave.聽
still, you can't take your eyes off of it. not now, so late at night.聽
not when you miss him quite so much, when you miss his masked face, too. his jokes, his laughter, his determination to keep you up.聽
it's unfair, this message.聽
but you don't delete it. you can't take your eyes away.聽
*
it's the first-day peter has gone back to school.聽
it might've been the look may gave him this morning when he came, a sort of disappointed worry, a stern comforting gaze.聽
it might've been your voice, in the deepest part of his brain, telling him not to be stupid. that there was more to life than getting beat up.聽
whatever it was, it was enough to convince him. enough to get him to now, where he's deliberately avoiding your eyes.聽
he's not going to look at you, he's decided. not going to scare you with his eyes. with his voice.聽
he took the mask off.聽
it's still not enough.聽
he's suffocating.聽
*
you're almost surprised when you hear a throat clearing right next to you. almost shocked when you hear the voice from behind your locker door, clearly trying to get your attention.聽
you're definitely surprised to see a flash of blonde when you close it, blinding you temporarily.聽
"i-" you blink and look up towards her. "gwen?"聽
she pulls you a little bit closer to her, eyes stuck on yours. "he told you?" she asks with no introduction.聽
you blink again. "excuse me?"聽
"peter," her voice is almost impatient. she looks around to make sure no one is listening, even though there's no one else around. "he told you?"聽
your brows furrow. "told me what?"聽
gwen rolls her eyes, shifting her weight. "you-" she sighs. "about a certain arachnid superhero..." she clues, voice drawing while she waits for your realization.聽
you take a step back from her, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "you know?"聽
"peter is ridiculously awful at keeping secrets."聽
your mind flashes to the months he'd been able to lie to you, but you nod your head in agreement anyway.聽
"okay..." your head shakes, waiting for gwen to get to the point of whatever it is she wants.聽
"he's been gone for a week," she says, eyes shifting into something softer. "i've called, but he hasn't picked up."聽
"from school?" your brow furrows again. "i didn't know that."
gwen nods. "i'm assuming you're not on speaking terms."聽
it isn't a question, but you nod anyway.聽
"okay, well," gwen sighs and looks up, face a bit conflicted. "i don't know why i'm going to tell you this, because peter is an idiot, but..."聽
her voice draws and you let out a laugh.聽
"he loves you, you know?" she says, voice strong. "did he tell you that?"聽
your eyes are wide, whatever amusement you had from before, gone.聽
you feel your composure shake at the words.聽
gwen shakes her head, taking your face as an answer. "you don't need me to tell you, but peter could barely ever take his eyes off of you when you were in the same room."聽
"he doesn't-"聽
"you should be mad at him, but you have a right to know more than just about spider-man. the whole truth. he should've told you."聽
at that you go silent again, only nodding.聽
he should鈥檝e told you.
you feel something shift, something some feeling forming itself in your chest. you look down, eyes trying to force themselves awake. force themselves into some different reality.聽
"i just wanted to make sure that someone did," gwen says, smiling at you a little sadly. "and i wanted to make sure that you were okay."聽
you look back up, confused. "you don't need to-"聽
"peter is my friend," she tells you, smiling for real now. "and he's not here to check on you, so."聽
you smile back at her, only slightly confused now.聽
"and, you look..." her voice draws off as she looks you up and down.聽
this time you laugh. "i know."聽
"you're okay?"聽
your laugh turns into something else. you shake your head, at least sure about this. "no," you tell her, head tilting. "just keep calling him, okay?"聽
gwen sees past you, it would seem, because her smile changes. she grins a little bit at you, nodding.聽
and then she walks away, leaving you with only her words to think about.聽
he loves you.聽
it wasn't a question, not a confession.聽
it wasn't something you could've expected, not something you'd ever wanted peter to say. not something you wanted to hear.聽
you feel that weight, deep in your stomach. a ridiculous ignorance, hidden behind your eyes at every memory. you feel the resentment of your foolishness, of the months you spent right next to your best friend, not knowing it. you feel anger at peter, for not telling you, for thinking that anything he did was okay.聽聽
but behind all of that. behind all of the pain, all of the cracks in your carefully built composure, and the broken glass feelings.聽
behind everything, there's peter.聽
there's peter with his gentle smile.聽
there's peter with his stupid jokes, his laughter ringing in the air, his amusement with everything you did.聽
there's peter, and the last time you saw his eyes.聽
the last time he looked at you and you couldn't help but think that it was different. that his eyes were changed, that his smile was different, that there was a click.聽
that there was something different and it wasn't just the mask on his face.聽
there's peter and the kiss, that exactly right moment shared between the two of you before everything fell apart.聽
there's peter.聽
who is not right, who was never right to lie to you. peter, who was unfair, who was hurting you for months.聽
peter who is not right at all.聽
but then there's the other option.聽
there's moving on. there's forgetting everything, every moment, every touch, every laugh, and that one kiss.聽
there's letting yourself grieve the loss of your best friend. there's letting yourself love someone else for once, letting yourself forgive him without guilt.聽
and it's so right. it's the best option, the only sane one.聽
but then, your heart threatens to give out. your voice yells at you, your hands go numb.聽
it feels so wrong, that way.聽
like something clicking out of place.聽
*
you check your phone again, irritated with its silence.聽
you think about running to his house, about seeing aunt may for the first time in months, about barging into his room--just because you know how--and demanding answers.聽
demanding more.聽
you think about it, but then decide that it's too far. that it's too soon.聽
you check your phone again, turning it on and off so that maybe something will show up eventually.聽
peter hasn't answered your last text, your answer to his.聽
he hasn't even read it.聽
but you can't sit around and wait. there is a restlessness to your emotions, unbreakable anxiety in your body, and it takes almost no time at all to grab your jacket off of the back of your door.聽
it takes almost no time at all to pocket your phone, to shove some shoes on your feet, and to leave this room.聽
your room, which only feels quiet now, an irritating contrast to the sound in your mind.聽
you remember the hollow feeling from weeks ago, and you're almost mad that you can't feel it now.聽
you think that it might be a welcome relief, to not be suffocated by feelings you've never let yourself think of.聽
you think it might be a relief to go back to when you were using spider-man as a distraction.聽
to when you needed to replace peter with something else.聽
but you know the truth now, you聽know.聽
and so you start walking, not bothering to remind yourself of any of the warnings that came before this.聽
you walk, and you barely feel anything as you hope for a shadow in the dark, as you hope for someone to scare you until there isn't anything else to feel.聽
your phone doesn't vibrate in your pocket.聽
your heart refuses to stop beating, to quiet itself so that you can listen for any moment in the dark.聽
your mind refuses to sleep. refuses to pick the right answer.聽
you think of the months before this, that first night, that overwhelming feeling.聽
you think of the anxiety now and you breathe out.聽
you don't miss peter now. it is not a dependency.聽
it is not a need to see him.聽
not a worried heart, concerned with every minute of silence.聽
it is not a replacement, not a sane emotion.聽
it's just being in love with your best friend.聽
two people, and then suddenly one.聽
when you hear the footsteps from behind you, hear the bad choices you've made.聽
you hear the mistakes in the sound, the warning signs there before you can think, you hear the voices warning you away.聽
you hear peter, telling you that he's sorry.聽
you see peter, smiling so hesitantly at you.聽
you see yourself, kissing someone you barely knew.聽
you hear the footsteps and-
you don't hesitate to turn around.聽
*
part six.
my masterlist here.聽
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hynjnhwng 2 months ago
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seungmin as ur fwb (18+)
seungmin x reader
warnings: afab reader, fwb, university au, exhibitionism, semi-public sex, fingering, (wc: 1.1k)
skz as ur fwb masterlist
Kim Seungmin is not a risk taker.
He'd never been the kind of person to do anything that would jeopardise his own comfort and convictions, above all else. Moments before disaster, he always pulls himself back, just in time, to prevent himself from getting hurt.
That's just how he is as a person.
If that is the case, then, he really should be asking himself, how did he end up like this, here with you?
"You didn't strike me as the type to make a move in public," you gasp, back to his chest, feeling him slide his palm right underneath your ass, cupping forcefully before moving to grip your thigh, pulling your legs apart as he does so.
"Not just with anyone," through his teeth, he tightens his jaw, eyes flickering towards the window at the door of the noraebang. No, just with you. Having met through club activities, it seemed natural to get closer, shared interests and classes first, shared beds later.
He pushes his hand into your jeans after a brief negotiation with the zipper, tight fit as he hooks an index around your underwear, pulling it aside. It's not a delicate operation, but the roughness of it elicits a gasp from you. "Just me, then?"
"Just you."
"You can't be going around saying that kind of thing, Seungmin. What if I fall in love with you? Then what?"
Though the expression on his face remains unchanged, a crease of determination on his forehead, lips set to a thin line, the slight tension of his back teeth biting the inside of his cheeks swallowing his response.
He'd already gone and ruined it, falling for you. You falling in love with him in return would simply be the ideal world. And what is he doing, then, he has to continue to ask himself, tangled up with you like this, knowing you'd never feel the same way?
Stupid. Risky. Mostly stupid.
It doesn't matter, though, not when he has you like this.
If it's the only way Seungmin can have you, then so be it. "Don't joke about that. You said no feelings."
"Right," you laugh, airy, grinding your ass to his cock, the heat of it emanating from his jeans. It's a promise, and one he's going to make good on.
You're already cat clawing at him, soft purr from the back of your throat as he fucks his fingers into you, finding it difficult to establish any pace, competing for space inside your jeans. It doesn't seem to matter, though. Your hand reaches backwards, tangles into his hair, mussing up every carefully moussed strand, and you're mewling, nice and loud, as his thumb flicks against your clit.
Can't help it, as his face presses against the junction of your jaw and your neck, "So pretty." A kiss, that dissolves into a bite, open-mouthed, and your hand goes to your mouth, stifling the whimper that rises.
The grind of Seungmin's palm as he shifts his fingers inside you, breaching deeper, curling tighter against the sweet spot that makes you jolt, becomes near unbearable when his other hand clasps onto your wrist, forcing your hand from your mouth.
"We're supposed to be singing," and it's hard for you to keep your composure, not when he sounds like he is on the edge of losing control himself, looks at you, gaze hot, mouth still neutral despite the tone of his voice. "Let me hear you."
Accelerating his fingering, he continues to rub his palm against you, near painful to your pelvic bone, but you don't seem to be complaining, back arching into him, hips doing the same. If only just a little bit more. Your pulling of his hair becomes motivation enough, the tension tighter, the tugs harder.
Even so, you seem to have an aversion of letting loose, chewing close to your bottom lip. In any other situation, whether it be the two of you fucking in his bed, right within earshot of his housemates, or in the dark corner of a club in Hongdae, this would be preferable, preventing the two of you from getting caught.
Right now, though, it only serves to frustrate him. With a wet slide, Seungmin withdraws his fingers from your cunt, receiving a whimper of protest from you, clenching around emptiness now. "Seungmin, please." You move your face, press your mouth slopping to the corner of his.
There's something dangerous, there, in his eyes, and even with your lips pursed, red and swollen from biting, he doesn't kiss you like the platitude wanted him to. "What are you so afraid of?" he asks, casual as can be, as if discussing the weather.
Being caught, with him?
Or simply being with him?
Those same fingers begin to rub against your clit now, this time purposeful. "N-nothing, did I say something to make you upset?" there's another attempt to laugh, but all you can do is focus on the colours blossoming behind your eyelids, the smell of him, something woodsy, sharp, in contrast to the floral of his laundry detergent.
"No. You're teasing me too much. We're behind closed doors. You're with me. Let your voice out."
"You're the one who is so mean!" The yelp stresses the wrong part of your sentence, his timing impeccable as his fingers quicken the circles. "I can't believe," and if there hadn't been any space for his hand then, there isn't anymore, with how you clamp your thighs over it, "you'd take advantage of my feelings like this. In public, no less."
Normally, your words would fluster him, even enough to make him falter, considering his own feelings for you, but right now, it only serves to fuel the fire. He slicks your juices onto your clit, watching your face intently as your eyelids flutter, struggling to stay open. "So you have feelings for me?"
In any other situation, he wouldn't be so bold to say it, to even consider it, take what you say as anything more than a tease. Having you now, though, even in the soundproof room, crying, chest heaving, hips snapping against his hand, he wets his lips, stilling his movements.
"No!"
"Hm."
Without warning, he withdraws his hand all together, leaving you disoriented, head tilting upwards to attempt to meet his eyes. "Seungmin..." but if the first time whining his name hadn't worked, you should know it wouldn't work now.
"I'll give you another chance," he says this softly, dropping his head to your shoulder, grazing his mouth against your neck, up to the lobe of your ear. He pushes his fingers against your mouth, prying your lips open, and instinctively you suck, saltwater on your tongue.
"When we're behind closed doors," his other hand forces your jeans past your hips, and suddenly, you feel exposed, vulnerable, the thrill of it pulsing inside the pit of your stomach, your heart pittering against your ribs, "you're mine. Show me."
Kim Seungmin had never been a risk taker, but anything worth having is worth the risk.
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jishike 6 months ago
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BONTEN X XIAO!F!READER
xiao from genshin impact hehehe i don't remember whether this was a request it was sitting in my drafts for the longest time.
requests are open.
jishiroe's masterlist here.
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no one believed sanzu, not one bit. "he's clearly high." rindou muttered to his older brother who nodded in agreement. the strawberry head man, scowled hearing what the younger haitani had said. "i'm telling the truth! she even told me to call her name whenever i need help!"
ran rolled his eyes, letting out a fit of laughters. "and her name is?" sanzu was obviously lying he thought. who would even offer help to bonten's number two. "y/n!" the scarred man answered a little too fast. "you called for me?"
screams echoed in the office, surprised at your abrupt presence. the haitani brothers' eyes widened, "you weren't lying?!" rindou pointed a finger at sanzu. "i already told ya', i wasn't!"
you squinted your eyes in annoyance. "if there's nothing i have to do, i'm leaving." but before you called warp away, strong arms wraps around your body causing you to freeze at the skin ship. "no, y/n don't go yet!" sanzu whined as he buried his face into your hair.
ran propped his chin on his fist, scanning your entire form up and down before breaking down into a grin. "sanzu, you're right for once though. she's a real beauty~"
"of course, she is! what do you expect from an adeptus." sanzu muttered. "........she's a what now?" rindou questioned after a moment of silence as you escaped out of sanzu's arms. crossing your arms, you huffed, annoyed. they were wasting your time!
"what the fuck happened?! we heard you screaming!" a few other men burst into the room, panting. you groaned before walking your way towards the window and opening it. sanzu let out a demonic screech, "y/n, no!"
after that chaotic fateful encounter, they were interested to get to know you. it's not everyday that get to meet an adeptus that's as pretty as you.
ran teases you about your height. this tall mf would take any chance to pick you up on his shoulder and place his chin on your head while hugging you form behind. don't worry, most of the time it ends up with you kicking his shin.
they're still curious about your age. not that they mind even if you might be old enough to have witnessed the baptism of jesus christ.
once koko asked about your age, you only answered with "old enough to date your mother and great-grandmother."
being with bonten only means endless amount of almond tofu. the first time kakucho offered you almond tofu, he sweared he saw your eyes sparkled for the first time. it made his heart go doki doki.
cue a jealous sanzu screeching, "that's not fair! i met her first, kaku!"
mikey enjoys your companion, he would lay his head on your shoulder causing you to tense up before relaxing into his warmth. no words needed to be exchanged, he thinks your presence itself is already so peaceful despite all the karmic debt placed upon your shoulder.
one night, the pain of your karmic debt was so terrible that moving a finger was already unbearable. even if you told them it was nothing serious and that it'll pass, they stayed by your side for the whole night.
they all tried their best to lift the pain of your karmic debt in their own way. takeomi laid your head on his lap as he threaded his fingers into your hair gently, massaging your scalp. while the others tried to lure you to sleep by making sure that everything around you was comfortable and peaceful.
maybe because it was the comfort and affection you felt them give you. you soon came to realise the pain you felt became lesser and lesser. how ironic it is, that the most feared organisation in japan was the one giving peace that you never felt in decades.
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帷曖牭釥娽唷氞牏酄 飧澿粓酄∴牐釥娺爢酄`牁帷佮牐酄樶爦釥娻牏酄橉悺弤鈾 reblogs and likes are highly appreciated! feel free to share my work on other platforms but with CREDITS.
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iamasimperyk 3 months ago
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Killer(Part 2) -Vinnie Hacker
Note: Wow, I didn't expect that my first post gets so much love after just one day. Anyway, here is the second part which I haven't planned on writing but here it is.
Warning: daddy kink, knife-play, mention of blood, smut, angst, sadistic actions, violence, mention of pregnancy
Summary: Vinnie wants to have a baby with Y/n but she isn't ready.
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Part 1 Part3
Two months passed, and Vinnie was still with me. By now, I could call him my boyfriend.
It was weird at first. I had to get used to having a boyfriend who was all over the news and couldn't go out with me. I had to go shopping or get things for him.
Vinnie was a completely different person when he was with me. He was caring, careful and sweet, but as soon as something didn't go like he wanted it to go, his anger issues came out. Vinnie never hit me, never took his anger out on me, but left the house for several hours and came back afterwards.
Deep down, I knew what he did when he was gone, but I tried to push the thoughts of it away.
I was standing in the kitchen preparing breakfast when two strong arms wrapped around my waist. Vinnie's inked hands were placed on my belly, and he kissed my cheek before resting his head on my shoulder.
I loved it when he did that, but I could never understand why he always put his hands on my stomach. "How is my princess today?" He murmured sleepily.
"Quite well, just my ass hurt," I admitted, blushing.
I could feel his grin widen. Images of last night spread through my mind.
Flashback
"Faster, daddy, please." I moaned as Vinnie pressed his knife against my throat.
"So desperate, just for me." He laughed and thrust into me faster. "You want to cum?" He asked as if he didn't know the answer.
"Yes! Please, I can't take it anymore." I moaned even louder than before, and just as I was about to reach my climax, Vinnie stopped.
He took the knife from my throat and flipped me over so that I was lying on my stomach, his cock still inside me.
"Don't move, and don't make a sound." He demanded before I felt the tip of his knife against my ass. An unbearable pain spread through my body, but it also gave me the feeling of pleasure. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip as I tried not to make a sound.
"All done, beautiful." He said after a while, admiring his work.
Just as I was about to turn my head to see what he had done, he began to thrust into me again. "Cum for me, darling." He groaned, and that was all it took to make me reach my climax.
We both moaned in sync as my walls tightened around his cock, and I came all over him. Shortly after, he pulled out and came on my ass.
Vinnie ran his fingers over the cum on my ass and held his fingers in front of my face. I opened my mouth without hesitation and began to suck on them.
"Good girl." He praised me and lifted me up, whereupon I wrapped my legs around his torso. He stood in front of the full-body mirror we had in our room so that I had a good view of my ass.
VH was carved on my left ass cheek. There was still some blood coming from the wound, and I knew as well as Vinnie that the scar would be visible forever.
"Do you like it?" He smirked, and I nodded enthusiastically. "I love it, daddy. Thanks." I smiled and kissed him.
Flashback ending
"What are you thinking about?" Vinnie pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Oh, nothing." I smiled and gave him a quick kiss before turning back to breakfast.
I felt Vinnie tense up and tighten his grip on my waist. "Are you thinking about leaving me or how to turn me in, so I have to go to jail for the rest of my life?" He asked, and I turned around with a sigh.
I cupped his face with my hands and shook my head, "I've been thinking about what happened yesterday. How you fucked me." Immediately I looked at the floor. I had always been embarrassed to talk about something like that.
I noticed how Vinnie relaxed again and grinned at me. "Next time, I will cum inside you." He whispered before turning around and walking out of the kitchen.
I stood there in shock. Would I even be ready to have a child with Vinnie? But we both knew that we wouldn't be good parents. At least not yet.
I quickly pushed the thought aside and sat down next to him on the sofa, breakfast in front of us on the coffee table.
Vinnie immediately pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me, his hands on my stomach again.
Suddenly, I could count one and one together, and I knew why he always put his hands carefully on my stomach when he hugged me from behind. He wanted me to have his baby. I wasn't ready, I knew that but I couldn't tell him or he would take it the wrong way.
"Um, Vinnie? Were you serious before, about cuming inside me?" I asked quietly, not looking at him.
"Of course. If I'm honest, I wish there was a little you in your belly right now. A little princess, which would make you a queen." He grinned. That fucking seductive grin. I nodded briefly and looked at the floor.
I knew he expected a different reaction from me, but I was afraid of getting pregnant by him, it would bind me to him. Forever.
He took my face with his hand and turned it harshly towards him, "Can you tell me why you aren't happy? It's an honour to hear me say that."
There it was again like he'd flipped a switch. "I'm happy, but I'm not ready to be a mother." I sighed, and he let go of my face and kissed me firmly.
"I love you, and you love me. We are both ready." He said in a low voice.
I was scared, no doubt, and I knew he would knock me up as soon as he got the chance. There was only one option left, to run away.
----
In the evening, I 'fell asleep' on the couch. I felt Vinnie lift me up and take me to our bedroom, where he laid me on the bed, and a few minutes later, he was lying next to me, his arms wrapped around my waist.
I waited for what must have been an hour to make sure Vinnie was fast asleep. Slowly I freed myself from his arms and carefully got out of bed before taking my phone. I hadn't been able to pack anything before, so I sneaked down the stairs barefoot and looked in the living room for some cash.
Just as I was about to open the front door, I felt a hand cover my mouth, and I started to scream.
"You really thought you could get away that easily? Princess," Vinnie whispered in my ear before everything around me turned black.
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iamreykylotrash a month ago
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realizing what he lost.
psa: this scene does mention narcissistic behavior. please, read with caution.
Cassian could feel his heart beating faster as he walked closer to the double doors.
He had craved to see her. After almost two years since she fled to the Autumn Court, he had still wanted her, never spending a day without her in his thoughts. He wondered what Eris did to her, only imagining what he would see after those doors opened.
Was she alright?
Did he hurt her?
Was she suffering?
Would she come back home?
Did she still love him?
Beside him, his family was there, waiting for those doors to open as well.
He could hear the mumbling from the inside, trying to hear his mate鈥檚 voice. He tried to single her out, but he couldn鈥檛 hear her over all the mumbles and laughter.
Will you be alright, Cassian? Rhys asks him.
It was a question he was asking himself since he found out she'd be here. His mind hounded him, calling out to her, receiving no answer. After everything that happened between them, he deserved her silence, but the pain was unbearable.
"Why do you always take their side? Every time I oppose them, you always defend them! You know I am right about this, Cassian! We have already fought a war where we lost thousands of lives! We are not prepared for another one! We won't last!" Nesta yelled at him.
Cassian pinches the bridge of his nose, "That isn't your call to make, Nesta! Rhysand and Feyre are the ones who make the call. Every war I have faced and won is because of Rhys. He knows what he is doing. We need to trust him." He tells her.
Nesta scoffs, "It's like you don't care how many soldiers you lose. Those men are prepared for war, but they are leaving behind families. You are part of the reason why. If you keep agreeing to everything that Rhysand does, eventually, you will lose." She says, facing away from him.
"And since when did you start caring about the lives of others? What did you do when your sister was out on her own, scavenging for food? You left her alone. She was out there by herself while you and Elain stood around doing nothing." He snaps at her.
Nesta snaps her head to him, "You have no idea what you are talking about! I explained my reason for doing so and I have apologized!" She tells him.
Cassian huffs a laugh, "And what was your precious reason? Was it because you were too lazy and figured that your youngest sister could do it on her own? Or was it because you thought yourself too valuable to ever do lowlife things such as that?" He says.
"Fuck you! Even when I told you everything that my mother had done to me, you still believe that I wanted Feyre to do everything? My mother trusted her to take care of our family! Yes, I know I could have done more, but I didn't know how to do everything as she did! Feyre had trained herself, taught herself the ways of the wild, while Elain and I could only watch!" She exclaimed.
Cassian rolls his eyes, "But you knew she was suffering. She needed your help, but you clearly couldn't see that. Instead, you stood to the side, caring about nothing but Elain and yourself. Fuck everyone, right? Including your father?" He tells her.
Nesta was stunned into silence.
Cassian's thoughts were interrupted as the doors opened.
As they walked into the room, he could see they were the sixth court to arrive. The Autumn Court wasn't there yet.
The General let out a breath of relief, not knowing what he would have done if he laid eyes on his mate. He might have embraced her or stole her away from the awful court, wanting to be with her for a single moment.
"Ah, look who has arrived. Isn't it fun to be in the same room as we were three years ago?" Helion asked with a gleaming grin.
Rhysand scoffed, "It would be fun if it weren't under severe circumstances. We shouldn't be talking about war so soon after going through one." He says, taking a seat beside Kallias.
Cassian's mind flashes back to that time, remembering how close he was to death, not knowing that he was looking at her right in those blue-gray eyes.
I have no regrets in my life, but this. That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.
That was the first moment he saw the pureness of his mate. He saw her vulnerability, feeling her very being tugging at him to stay alive. There, he fought with everything to be by her side, even if it were their last minutes alive.
Thesan scoffed, "If anything, you should be the most excited about this upcoming war, seeing as you weren't hesitant on starting one when Eris married your mate's sister." He says.
Feyre looks at him, "Whatever goes on with my family is none of your concern. Eris knew what he was getting himself into." She snaps at him.
He leaned forward in his seat, "Your sister crossed into my court, gaining temporary refuge from a family she stumbled upon. From what they told me, she was dirty, parched, and wet from the rain. Her fever reached high temperatures to the point where smoke rose from her body, even while she slept. She stayed in bed for five days before she was able to get up," Thesan says.
Cassian felt himself freeze at the words. He hadn't known. After she had left, he spent days screaming at himself when he should have gone out to find her, getting her back home where she was safe.
"You fucking bastard! How dare you say that? You make it seem that I didn't give a shit about what happened to her at all! I stared out the window almost every minute, hoping that she would return by sundown! There were times I stood out on the porch to see if I could see her silhouette to know she was alive! I may not have gone out there, but I was dependent on her!" Nesta yelled.
He chuckled, "Keep telling yourself that, Nesta, maybe you'll start believing yourself." He says, walking out of the room.
"She is my sister! I know what I did was wrong, but you have no right to hold it over my head! What if I said those same things about your mother?" Nesta told him.
At that, Cassian stopped, turning back to look at her, "You are on thin ice, Nes. I'd be careful with your next words." He tells her.
"So now you're threatening me? You are allowed to bring up my past, but I cannot bring up yours? You're a fucking hypocrite!" She yells at him.
"What happened with my mother is different. I barely knew her." He tells her.
Nesta scoffs, "And if you had known her, do you think that she'd be okay with you treating me like this? You act no better than the males in the mountains, treating women as if they're nothing but dirt!" She yells at him.
"Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you? You want me to be like them so that you can run off and go to someone else who your mother would deem more worthy of you?" He says, walking closer to her, "Let me tell you something, Nesta. There is no one in this world who will put up with you like I do. No one will understand you better than me. That is exactly why the Mother paired you with me. It's because I am the only male worthy enough to withstand your bullshit."
After the last word left his mouth, Cassian's head snapped to the side, feeling the sting of his mate's hand on his cheek, feeling the iron taste pool in his mouth.
"Whatever was between us, you have destroyed it. I don't ever want to see you again! You hear me! I reject this fucking bond!" She yells at him, walking past and out of the door of the House of Wind.
Next, it was Kallias who spoke, "High Lady, my guards had to rescue your sister from the mountains. With the equipment she was given, she barely made it out alive. If it weren't for the aid of my court, she would have been returned to you dead. Thankfully, for her flaming abilities, she was able to heal up quickly. We may not care about what goes on in your court, but when it comes to something like this, we deserve an explanation." He says.
Feyre sighs, looking away from them, probably talking to Rhysand through their bond. He held her hand, comforting her in this conflicting situation.
Cassian stared at them, knowing they were debating on whether they should say the truth. If they did, there was a high chance that he would be seen as the enemy in their eyes.
That's exactly what he thought he was anyway.
"There were some... complications between Nesta and me. I had said things I shouldn't and-" Feyre started but was interrupted.
"Lies. It was because of the General of the Night Court. From what my citizens told me, Eris and Nesta spoke about the situation whilst in my court. Cassian had fought with her, saying things about her past that he shouldn't have, making her leave that same night and trudge through Prythian on her own." Tamlin says, his arms crossed and eyes closed, unbothered.
Cassian stood from his seat, "You know nothing! I advise you to keep your mouth shut before-"
"Before what? You kill me? It would be mercy at this point. But do not try and scurry away from this, General. Your mate ran to another court to escape you," he leaned forward in his seat, "She married Eris because she would have died if she went anywhere else. You and your precious High Lord and Lady didn't give her a choice." Tamlin reveals, picking the dirt from under his nails.
This time, it was Cassian who was stunned into silence.
Then, the doors had opened once more, revealing the Autumn Court.
Everyone had their heads turned towards them, seeing Beron walk in with grace, the Lady of Autumn, and their youngest sons walking behind him. And the last to come in...
Nesta was put into a deep orange silk dress. It was slit at the side, showing her leg from her thigh all the way down to her white heels. Her neck was decored in the finest gold, shining in the sunlight. Her hair was put up into its natural style, wearing a crown of bronze leaves with gold flakes, showing where her allegiance lay.
Her arm was linked with Eris's, the ruby wedding ring shimmering as it caught the light. Her face held no emotion like her husband's. But they nodded once to everyone, showing common respect, unlike Beron and his other sons.
"Ah, the topic of conversation. You all made it just in time." Helion announced, the whole room becoming tense.
As the Autumn Court sat down, Cassian looked at the woman who sat across from him, not knowing who she was. She hadn't looked like the woman he fell in love with. She had changed.
"Topic of conversation? Please, do tell." Beron says to them.
Thesan shakes his head, "We will talk about it later. Right now, we must focus on what we will do about the upcoming war, and how we can prevent it from happening." He says.
He couldn't focus on their words. Nesta was fuller, vibrant even. She seemed more content. Even when her eyes briefly met with the Lady of Autumn, he saw the small smile she gave her, seeing a glow in her he hadn't noticed before.
Whatever was between us, you have destroyed it!
And it was true.
He had lost her.
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izu6ku a year ago
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#饢 饾悓饾惒 饾悆饾悶饾悮饾惈 饾悞饾悶饾惂饾惄饾悮饾悽 | 饾槳饾樆饾樁饾槵饾樁 饾槷饾槳饾槬饾槹饾槼饾槳饾樅饾槩
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# summary: no matter, what izuku always found himself getting rescued by you, his senpai and childhood crush.
# w/c: 3.4k
# c/w: mutual pining, reader is 19 + izuku is 18, porn with plot, izuku being insecure, fighting, bruises, slight angst (very slight), confession, izuku is a virgin, virginity loss, oral (male receiving), slight overstim, unprotected sex, smut + fluff.
# a/n: I'm really glad how this turned out :) thanks for 200 followers in literal days, you horny fucks. I appreciate your support <3
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midoriya was a wimp. always getting pushed around and walked over, sometimes by people who seemed too tiny to be an actual threat, but he was just so pathetic, it made it so easy鈥 too easy 鈥攖o take advantage of him.
you always remembered the spiky haired boy from your youth who would never stop tormenting midoriya, always picking fights with him for simply looking in his direction. you saw the way he'd push the boy to the ground, midoriya's emerald eyes welling with tears as he looked back up to the blonde boy and his posse, begging them to spare him the beating.
you never liked the spiky haired boy. you never liked bullies.
so, you didn't think twice that warm summer day when you stepped between the group of boys, arms opened out wide as you defended the crying boy. the spiky haired blonde didn't like that one bit, and he certainly didn't like when you activated your quick, sending him flying back on the ground as the two boys by his side ran away from you. you still remember the irked look that appeared on his face as he got up, and ran back to his friends, but not before declaring that he'd 'beat you one day'.
rolling your eyes, your attention shifted back to the boy on the floor behind you, who was now too weak in the knees to stand properly. "t-thank you for s-saving me..." he said weakly as you held his hands to help him up straight. his eyes widened a bit as he studied your face. he knew you, he thought. you were the pretty girl who'd gently sway on the park swings with a pencil in your hand and a book on your lap, doodling the day away. "you're welcome," you say with a smile.
letting go of his hands, you placed yours on your hips and cocked your head to the side. "you shouldn't let them bully you like that!" you scolded, watching as the boy fiddled with his fingers. "i-i'm sorry...but they're just鈥 so much stronger..." he mumbled. you looked at him sternly for a moment. he did seem quite weak, you thought to yourself, before letting out a sigh. "fine then," you started. "if those meanies give you any trouble again," you pointed one hand to the sky, mimicking a superhero's pose, "I will protect you!"
the green haired boy's eyes lit up at your declaration, butterflies fluttering in his stomach and a smile plastering his face as he looked at you. you will protect him.
you got to know midoriya more after your first interaction; his interests, his hobbies, his aspirations, and he got to learn more about you. the boy even insisted on calling you his 'senpai' when he figured out you were a year older than him. 'it just feels right, senpai!' he said. eventually, the two of you became good friends, bonding with each other over your dream of becoming heroes, and many other little things that you had in common. you even kept your promise to him from that summer day, always stepping in between his interactions with the boy he called 'kacchan' before they could escalate to fights, which he appreciated dearly.
midoriya loved spending time with you, and you figured as much when he cried the day you and your family left Musutafu for a three day vacation, but could you blame him?
midoriya thought you were the nicest person on earth; you never bullied him, you never reprimanded him, you were just nice. even when midoriya mentioned that he was quirkless, you never made fun of him. instead, you motivated him, telling him to strive to be the world's first quirkless hero. it was no secret he liked you a lot, and those feelings grew more and more as time went on.
the two of you were now in your third year at UA and his feelings for you never ceased, even though you looked so different from the girl he'd call 'senpai' back then. your body became more mature as your full, perky tits threatened to pop out of your tight shirt, your small skirt barely fitting over your plump ass. you probably didn't bother getting a new uniform since your old ones could still fit, albeit, a bit tightly.
you were a lot more popular now too, laughing and giggling amongst people he swore he'd never seen before, your phone filled with unread messages and locker stuffed with unopened letters from guys and girls alike who tried to shoot their shot with you. it wasn't surprising that you were asked out daily by your peers, you were gorgeous, determined and strong, who wouldn't want to be with you? 'there's someone else I'm interested in!' he heard you say once as you were talking to your friends.
izuku changed quite a bit since you were kids as well. he'd gotten a lot taller, barely passing six feet. his curly green hair was shaved down to an undercut that suit his features, which were much sharper now, more mature. he'd gotten more confident as well, garnering his own fare share of followers and friends, but in his eyes, he was still plain, old deku.
honestly, he felt like he shouldn't even be near you, no less friends with you. he tried many times to leave you alone, so caught up in the fact that someone as great and popular as you shouldn't be hanging out with someone as boring as him, but you always found your way back to him.
at lunch, you'd abandon your friends and sit at his table, laughing and chatting with him and his small circle. during training, you practically begged to be paired up with him, always wanting him to be your sparing partner. you'd invite him to your friends' party, ultimately deciding that you wouldn't go if he wanted to stay in.
eventually, he realized that although you looked different now, you were still the same girl who promised to protect him all those years ago.
but who knew that your promise would still apply today?
"fucking bitch鈥!" a voice said, before midoriya received a sharp kick to his side. the trio of boys barked with laughter as he tried to look up at them from the ground, unable to move his body due to one of the boy's quirk. "I'll tell you again," a gruff voice said, "stay the fuck away from y/n." the world really had it out for him, huh? midoriya was just minding his business, walking back to the dorms, when he got attacked by a group of boys, threatening him to leave you alone. "and if I don't?" midoriya asked, a scowl growing on his assailants' face. "you fucking better if you know what's good for you." he spat, his tone cruel and violent.
"yeah, you think y/n wants a bitch like you following her around like a damn puppy?!" a different voice spoke this time. "and what makes you think she wants assholes like you on her ass鈥" the boy's foot collided with the greenette's face with a hash kick, the pain from the hit leaving his mind dizzy. "watch your fucking mou鈥"
"izuku..?"
their heads snapped in your direction, your presence shocking them so much that the effects of the quirk deactivated, leaving izuku gasping for air as the unbearable pressure was lifted from his body. "s-senpai..?" izuku choked out, holding his bruised side.
anger wracked through you body as the three boys stared at you, dumbfounded. "y-y/n! what are you doing here..?!" the one with the gruff voice asked. "cut the bullshit, tadashi. what the fuck are you doing?" you say far too calmly. izuku listened as tadashi stammered, trying to find something to say to you. "we were, uh, trying to get him to stay away from you.." another boy spoke.
you looked down at izuku for a moment, all he did was keep his head down, listening to the confrontation. sadness and anger clenched your heart at the sight. you stepped closer to tadashi before grabbing the tie around his neck, pulling his face downwards and landing a hard punch on his cheek that had him stumbling backwards. "leave, now." you say, your voice dripping in venom, watching as the three scrambled away.
you hurried over to izuku's side, your eyebrows knit in concern as you gently held his face in your hands, forcing him to look up at you. "izu..." you sighed as he didn't bother looking you in your eyes. "let's get you back to the dorms," you say, throwing his arm over your shoulder and lifting him off the ground, carrying him over to the heights alliance.
after giving your concerned classmates a brief explanation of what happened, you carried izuku up to your room, where he sat on your bed as you searched for your first aid kit. his eyes couldn't help but wander to a thick pile of sketchbooks at the corner of your room. you always were quite the artist, he thought. neither of you said a word as you observed his injuries. he had slight bruising on his cheek and to the side of his stomach, nothing that would kill him, but you had no doubt that it still hurt.
you finally broke the silence as you gently applied ointment to his cheek. "izuku...i'm sorry." you say, your voice coming out as a whisper. he stayed silent for a few seconds, "for what? this wasn't your fault." you frowned at his words. "but it was! i-i told them something about you and鈥 and they went out of their way to attack you!" you cried.
"you what?" you froze, realizing what you just said. "i..i mean鈥 i..." izuku looked at you coldly, his expression shooting fear into your heart. "what did you tell them?" he asked. he couldn't believe this. he thought you were his friend. he thought you cared. did you change that much that you were gossiping about him? where you really his senpai anymore?
"I鈥" you paused for a moment, swallowing thickly before speaking, "I told them I liked you."
...huh?
"you WHAAAT?!" the boy exclaimed, his cheeks flushed red. "don't seem so shocked, you asked!" you said, covering your face from embarrassment. "w-well I thought you were going to say you hated me, not that you LIKED me!" you paused. "wait, why would you think I hated you?"
izuku rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "well, it's just that鈥 you've gotten so popular, senpai, and I..I just kinda thought you didn't like me anymore. I'm so boring compared to you," he sighed, "I just figured you wouldn't want to hang around anyone as plain as m鈥"
you cut him off with a kiss, his eyes shooting open in panic and shock before you pulled away. "you're not plain, izuku, you're so amazing," you say, kissing him ice more. he returned the kiss this time, inhaling sharply and relaxing his jaw, allowing your tongue to slither in and explore his mouth. your soft lips felt like heaven against his, his heart racing just from kissing you, just from being so close to you. slowly, your hands travelled down to his lower abdomen, and you fiddled with the belt around his waist before pulling away, a string of saliva lingering behind from your wet kiss.
a soft gasp left his lips from your actions, he could already feel himself getting hard. placing his hand over yours, your eyes met as he spoke softly to you. "do you really want to do this...with me, senpai?" he asked, disbelief painting his features. you nodded and smiled sweetly, giving him a small peck on his lips before unbuckling his belt, tossing it onto the floor.
you gently palmed the tent in his pants and he hissed, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt his cock twitch under your touch. "are you a virgin, 'zuku?" you asked, looking up at him. "y-yes.." he admitted shyly. so cute, you thought to yourself. you pressed a kiss to his inner thigh. "alright, we'll take this slowly then."
he felt a wave of nervousness overtake him as you began unbuttoning his pants, getting so close to pulling down his draws. what if he wasn't enough for you? what if you didn't like what you saw? what if you changed your mind right then and there? he'd die of embarrassment for sure! this was a bad idea, a bad, bad, bad id鈥
as soon as you pulled the fabric down, izuku's cock sprang free, and you can't help the soft gasp that came from your mouth. his length was a little bit larger than average, but he was thick, far thicker than any guy you've been with. his tip was an adorable shade of pink, a bead of pre oozing from the slit. the sight of him alone had your pussy clenching around nothing but air.
"fuck izu.." you mumbled. his eyebrows knit anxiously, waiting for you to say something, anything.
"you're so perfect."
...huh?! just how many times were you going to say something unexpected like that?!
"i- thank you.." he whispered, letting out a breath he didn't know he had. "you ready?" you asked, waiting for his permission. this was about him, you thought. from back then to now, it was always about him. "I'm ready," he nodded.
he whimpered softly as you slowly began stroking his length, his head lightly hitting the headboard of your bed as you passed your thumb over his tip, smearing the pre around his head. "f-fuck..." he cursed, his cock twitching.
"you're so pretty, izu," your praise going straight to his head, as if he wasn't already too enamoured by you. the pleasure you were giving him鈥 no, blessing him with was unlike anything he'd ever felt, and so much better than he'd ever imagine, his hips moving with your hand as you stroked him.
he whined as you stopped your movements, breath hitching as you kissed his tip. your tongue dragged up the underside of his cock and he moaned, slapping a scarred hand over his mouth in an effort to silence himself. you chuckled slightly, giving his tip one more kiss before you took him into your mouth, muffled noises coming from the boy as you took him inch by inch, the warmth of your mouth driving him mad.
his eyes rolled to the back of his head as you sucked him gently, the knuckles of his free hand turning white from gripping the sheets too hard, his other hand still over his mouth. your mouth worked wonders around him, and he knew he wasn't going to last long, tears already threatening to stream down his face. although they were mostly muffled, you loved the moans that came out of him, so desperate and pretty for you.
"s-senpai!" he choked out, his voice strained. that name sounded so pretty coming from him. " 'm close, s-so close..!" both his hands were now in your hair, trying not to grip too tightly as he trusted into your mouth. indulging him, you took in all of him, his pubes ticking your nose and his tip hitting the back of your throat. "fuck!" he wailed at the sensation, thick ropes of cum shooting down your throat as he forced your head down further on his cock, causing you to gag around him.
you pulled away, coughing as you tried to catch your breath, the slightly salty taste of his cum still fresh on your tongue. "o-oh my god, I'm so sorry senpai! a-are you okay?! i mean obviously you're not but鈥 ah, this is all my fault!鈥" he rambled on as you caught your breath, wiping the spit from your mouth before grabbing the boy's face, calming him in an instant.
"baby, I'm fine," you chuckled, your words making his stomach flutter. "I鈥 okay.." he says, before shyly pecking your lips once, then twice, before pulling you into a long kiss. lips still locked, you straddled your legs to his sides before guiding his hands under your skirt, his fingers playing with the elastic of your underwear before slowly pulling them down.
he was nervous, you could tell by the way his hand shook. breaking away from the kiss, you brushed away the green curls that fell in his eyes, thumb lightly going over the bruise on his freckled face. you were sure to properly kick tadashi and his shitty crew's ass for that next time you saw him. "relax, 'zuku, it's just me," you comforted and he nodded, "y-yeah, right."
biting his lip, he reached his hand under your skirt, fingers ghosting over your wet folds before lightly touching your clit, getting a soft gasp from you in return. "does that...feel good?" he felt so dumb for asking, but he wanted you to feel good too, getting a bit more confident when you nodded. he could tell you didn't bother wearing a bra to class as his other hand reached up to your chest, gently playing with your right breast and teasing your nipples as his fingers worked around your clit.
the pretty whines and breathy moans that came from you made izuku's mind buzz with desire, wanting to do more to you, wanting to make you feel good. suddenly, you grabbed his wrist, stopping his gentle attack on your cunt. "see how wet you make me, 'zuku?" you said, bringing his fingers, wet with your slick into the light for him to examine. a moan left his mouth as you pushed his fingers in your mouth, sucking his fingers clean of your wetness before kissing him, your flavor leaving him groaning into your mouth.
breaking the kiss, you reach down between your bodies, taking izuku's cock and aligning it with your entrance. "relax," you say, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his forehead as you noticed him tense up. slowly, you sank down onto him, soft whines coming from the two of you as his tip stretched you open. a breath of relief escaped you as he finally bottomed out, izuku's face buried in the crook of your neck as he took in deep breaths, his mind practically spinning from how tight you were, your walls clenching around him. "please, not yet.." he whimpered, his already sensitive cock still getting used to the feeling of being inside you.
you plaster kisses along the side of his jaw and down his neck, whispering sweet words of encouragement in his ear, reminding him to take his time. a choked moan left your mouth as izuku suddenly rolled his hips against yours, his hands gripping your waist as he lifted you up slightly, before thrusting into you, giving you nonverbal permission to move.
slowly, you began bouncing up and down on his cock, the lewd noises of your deliciously tight cunt squeezing him just right drove the two of you insane. "fuck, y' feel s-so good, senpai..!" izuku's cheeks flushed as he cursed. "not g鈥 not g'nna last long!"
"yeah? you g'nna cum again for me?" you asked, feeling his head nod against your neck. you brought his face up to yours, kissing him sloppily as your speed increased, moaning loudly when the tip of his cock hit the sensitive spot inside you.
"senpai鈥 I..!" he warned, pressing his forehead against yours. "me too, zuku, want you to cum inside me鈥!" you felt his cock pulse at your words. desperate whines and moans filled the room as he began thrusting into you faster and harder than before as you both chased your high.
your bodies felt hot against each other as you moved in perfect harmony, completely lost in each other's euphoria. with one last hard thrust, he came inside your pussy with a guttural moan, warm cum filling you up as you gushed around his cock, his legs trembling beneath you. a soft whine escaped you as he pulled out, your liquids mixed with his dripping down your ass, your pussy still fluttering as you came down from your high.
a comfortable silence settled between you as izuku gently kissed you, from your collar bone, working his way up to your temples. you looked up to him, a soft smile gracing your face as you admired him in his afterglow, his face flushed prettily.
"don't ever go around thinking you're boring ever again!" you scolded. he laughed, suddenly reminded of that one warm summer day. "you g'nna try protecting me from myself if I do?" he asked, grinning widely. "I might just have too," you say, lightly flicking his forehead with your finger.
your face was in izuku's hands this time as he pulled you into a passionate kiss, a kiss he'd been wanting to have with you since you were children. you giggled as he pulled away, 'love struck' written all over his face as you fell back onto your bed with each other.
"I love you, izuku." you say, tightening your arms around him.
"I love you too, y/n."
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ghostbonesandfirecrackers 4 months ago
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Title: Chosen Boy
Summary: Short Fanfiction, AU, Lemon, Smut, Armin x F!Reader, Dom!Armin, Switch!Reader, Switch!F!Reader
Content Warnings: 18+ (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT), Explicit Language, Sexual Themes, Smut, Kink
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"Armin, you can't keep letting him treat you like this." You scold while gently dabbing an alcohol-soaked rag to your lover's swollen face. Armin smiles through the pain, laying his hand on your leg for reassurance, before speaking again. "I don't know how to explain it but Eren and I have always had this sibling-like rivalry, and no matter what he's still my best friend. Also, I can't ignore the fact that I did technically swing first this time." Armin winces as you get closer to the small open gash under his eye. You adjust your pressure as a response. "What set you two off this time anyway?" You asked. Armin smiled sweetly. Then in a quick motion he pushes you to your back and hovers his body over yours. "You chose me." He said almost in a whisper, "...and he hates to lose, especially you, specifically to me." You smile, reaching up and wrapping your hands around Armin's neck pulling him closer to your face. His golden locks tickling your nose. "I will always choose you, Armin Arlert. Always."
"I'll never be able to repay you for such loyalty." Armin props himself up using one arm. His free hand caressing your frame lovingly. "No worries, it's cool. Just make me Mrs. Arlert one day and I'll call it even." You say jokingly. Looking down, you notice Armin staring up at you. "Whoa, I was only partially kidding, there's no rush." The silence was consuming before he broke through it, "You'd actually marry me?" His eyes looking almost childlike. You laugh a little until you realize he's completely serious. "Armin, yes... Of course I'd marry you." You say, sitting up a little pressing your forehead to his. "Not to sound dramatic, but my heart, body, and soul is yours until you say otherwise." Your eyes dropping to his lips, "You'd marry me?"
Armin smiles, kissing you. His response required no words. Armin's tongue sneaks past your parted lips causing a small gasp to escape your throat. He explored every inch of your mouth. Massaging your tongue with his. He disconnects just long enough to pull your shirt off of your body and tossing it to the floor. "Armin... Close the door." You pant. However, he doesn't listen, and continues trailing kisses from your lips, down to your ear, neck, collarbone, and finally to your right nipple. Armin takes it into his mouth lightly sucking as he teases the other by rolling it between his fingers. "Armin... The door." This time sounding like he had sucked the very air from your chest. Armin continues ignoring your request. Changing gears he peppers kisses down your sternum, then your abdomen, stopping right before the hem of your shorts. He looks up grinning devilishly, as he pulls them off in one swift movement. "No bra or panties? Y/N... How obscene..." He teases.
You blush, panic in your voice you whisper to him while trying to get up and fulfill your previous demand yourself. "Armin, the door. Someone could see if they walk by. -" You try to explain, as he pushes you back on the bed. "Then let them see." He rasped. Firmly but carefully grabbing your hips, and pulling you towards the edge of the bed. Armin lowers the weight of his body to his knees, positioning himself between your legs, one of his hands on each thigh, pushing your hips up and out. Armin's head is the only thing serving as 'privacy' in relation to the cracked bedroom door. "You're pretty wet to be so embarrassed, Y/N." Heat rushes to your face, "Armin..." You begged. Using the flat of his tongue Armin creates a light suction on your clit. "Keep your legs up" he instructed inbetween breathes. The way Armin was lapping at your wetness was borderline primal. Still your attention was split between the almost unbearable pleasure and the absolute fear that someone would walk past Armin's bedroom door and see you totally naked and spread eagle on his bed. "Fuck, Armin... I'm gonna cum." You mewled. "Don't." Armin's voice deep and demanding. This wasn't his normal light hearted love making. This time Armin was rough, needy, and shameless. Acting as if he was marking his territory. Suddenly you feel Armin pull away. He stands up quickly, taking a step back, while guiding you off the bed and on to your knees. "Open." He damn near growled. You obey, waiting for him to undo his belt. You'd probably never admit it but this side of Armin was hot. Glancing up, you make eye contact with him. Without breaking his gaze he playfully taps the head of his rock-hard erection against your bottom lip. Taking Armin's full length in your mouth has never really been a safe option. So you start by placing one hand on his balls, and the other around the bottom half of his shaft, massaging gently. Then you take your lips to the tip, slowly tonguing at the slit before taking him in a little at a time. You loved going down on him, so much actually, that you almost forgot about the door. You pull away from your focus and look up "Armin, can I please shut the door? Someone's going to see and think I'm a slut." You say almost choking on your own saliva. Without missing a beat Armin grabs a fistful of your you hair and forces you down to take all that he has. "Not a slut, Y/N. My slut."
You weren't a huge fan of degradation. You preferred to see yourself as an equal, a partner, especially to Armin - but you'd be lying if you said his use of "my slut" didn't just send shocks through to your core. You hollow your cheeks and place your hands on Armin's hips in an attempt to control the speed just a bit so he didn't graze himself on your teeth. Earning a low, raspy, "Fuck." from Armin's lips. "Up." He commands. You stand and think it's a good time to try and make your escape to finally close that damn door. "Nope." You hear from behind you. Armin's arm already shot around your waist pulling you back against him. He has one hand wrapped around your throat and the other is two fingers deep in your warm slick. "Nobody's even here." He teases. "That's not true, Eren is!" You cried out. while squirming in an attempt to break free from his grasp. Not making any progress you just end up causing his fingers to rub against your g-spot. "And? I've walked in on Eren plenty of times." Your knees almost drop from under you. Armin notices and spins you around, placing each hand under a thigh and lifting. "Hold tight, baby." He says completely out of his current dominant facade. Then Armin walks the two of you over to the bed. He sits first and positions you over his dick. Then proceeds to gently tease himself with your body. You feel his tip gently sliding in and out of your heat. Making sure to go slow he lowers you down watching your soft, pink, flesh swallow him whole.
"You're so fucking tight." He groans while allowing you to adjust. Continuing to gently grind your hips across his lap, stimulating the small bundle of nerves inside of you again. At this point the door was no longer your priority. Everything about Armin was intoxicating. His body, his smell, his eyes, his voice - and his ability to convince you of just about anything. He's proven time and time again that he is able to fuck you mentally just as much as physically. All of it together this time made your head dizzy.
"Can I move?" He whispers into your ear. Nodding against his chest. His soft, sweet movements, quickly turn feral. He smiles, "Shhh", he almost laughs, "What if someone hears you?". You bite his neck in response, trying to muffle the noises coming from you. "Ow, fuck." He moans.
"Armin... I need to cum."
"I said no - hold it."
"Armin, It's too much. I fucking can't."
"Yes you can, baby. Just a little more. I wanna cum with you."
"Fuck, fuck, fuck... I'm pretty sure I'm gonna explode."
"Not yet."
"Armin." You warned, "Please."
A few moments later, despite those moments feeling like a literal eternity, Armin uttered a simple but direct command,"Cum for me, baby." His sudden permission was all it took. Your warm, velvet, walls clenched around Armin, absolutely milking him for everything that he had. The two of you ride out your orgasms together in waves. Locked in his tight embrace. Practically melting into Armin's skin as he holds you onto him just a little bit longer, "Stay here for a minute. Just wanna feel you." he says placing a kiss on your jawline. "You're still pulsating." He teases. "It's kinda cute."
"Don't say shit like that. It's embarrassing." You blush as you gently push his face to the side.
"Oh, hey Eren." Armin says nonchalantly glancing at the door.
"Ha, Ha... That's real funny, Arlert." You turn your head to the door and actually see that Armin wasn't joking. Eren is standing there jaw almost on the floor, leaning against the door frame. Armin looking as stoic as ever and almost proud of himself. He leans down a bit to pull the blanket up over your back, allowing you a bit of dignity.
"How long have you been there, Jaeger?", You say almost dying of embarrassment. "Since the blowjob." Eren replied. You turn your head back to Armin, "I've never been so angry at you - Armin, I swear, I'll end your sex life right now." You turn to see Eren laughing, "Relax, Y/N. It's not like I haven't seen you or Armin naked before. Seeing you naked together is new though, and pretty hot if I say so myself."
What did he just say? Your heart literally fell to your ass. "Armin - what's he talking about?". Armin smiles - still inside of you. Eren erupts in laughter again. "I'm fucking with you, Y/N. Chill out."
"I told you she was mine, Eren." Armin said wrapping his hands around the small of your back. "Yeah, yeah, 'Min whatever you say. I'm always open to share if you two need a third." Eren says waiving Armin off sarcastically before walking down the hall to his room. "Goodnight."
"Holy shit, Y/N..." Armin looks at you. "Did you just twitch?". You hop off of Armin and make your way to the bathroom. "I did no such thing. I would never. I could never."
Armin follows you, "Whatever you say, baby. Still wanna marry me?" Turning on the hot water and stepping in the shower, you hold a hand out offering it to Armin to step in. "Yes, maybe even a bit more."
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9anderz9 5 months ago
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Daycare (part 1)
warnings: mentions of self harm, death, curse words, social anxiety, mentions of abuse.
also sunny will not be like normal, this is not a cheery post. sunny and moon are a comfort character for me and i like making stories of them being comforting.
also. another also lmao, i have writers block and have been working on it for a week now, so imma just post this to get it out, and ill try to continue.
part 2 of Another Nightmare is almost done!
You mumble to yourself as kids' wiz by and play. You've found yourself a secluded corner. It's less populated than most of the daycare, but a few kids still wander over here. You want to be alone. It's been unbearable. Your arms ache at the burns and cuts that follow up your arm. You haven't been feeling it lately, have you?
Maybe your... too much...?
You sigh and pull out your sketchbook to continue a picture. For a 10-year-old, you find yourself quite skilled. You hear the daycare attendant call everyone. You zone him out to finish drawing. You put down your pencil and grab your crayons, but then you notice a figure standing next to you.
"Hey friend! It's time to eat," he says, reaching out his hand to help you up. You shake your head.
"I ate earlier, I'm not hungry..." You continue coloring, hoping he goes away. He gets down to your level. You sniff and look at him.
"Everyone ate earlier, we eat now. Come on, now. You can come back here after lucnh," he said, picking you up. You squirm as he carries you to a table. He puts you down in front of lunch and goes off to help feed the younger ones. You mess with your food with your fork for a minute, then you quietly slither off back to your art. Thankfully Sunny didn't notice. It was too loud. Too much. Too many people. You didn't need it; you didn't want food.
"Friend, you need to eat," His voice quietly behind you. You jump a little and turn around. You tilt your head down a little, looking at the buttons on his shirt. He picks you up again.
"I'm not hungry, I want to draw!" You whine a little, your hands propping you up.
He ignores that and pulls an empty table away from the rest of the kids. He sits you down, and hands you the same lunch. He sits next to you, looking away. Not to bother you, but to make sure you ate. You hated he wouldn't go away. He's persistent.
You pushed the food away, huffing. Sunny looks to you. He doesn't speak, he just pulls the food back. Why aren't you being... Hit? Or at least, yelled at. You finally gave in and ate a little bit of the food. Not a lot, but some.
"You gotta eat all of it, little friend," he says, picking your fork up. He scoops some of the potatoes up and held them by your mouth.
He was gonna make you eat if he had to. You allowed him to help, but you felt like a child. Nevertheless, you finished, and Sunny cleaned up your plate. You got up and rushed to your sketch book, so you could draw in peace. You notice Sunny wandering over to you. You look up to him, clutching your sleeves.
"Hey friend. What's going on, buddy?" He bends down to your level. You cover your face and shake your head. Sunny pats your back, as you try your best to cover your tears. He doesn't leave your side but respects your silence.
"I-i.. I don't... Don't f-feel right..." You speak.
"Mm.." He mumbles, his arm around you. You finally break down and sink out of your chair. You know how to control your crying, but still.
You don't feel alive at this point.
Sunny sighs, and takes you into his arms, rubbing your back.
You yank at your hair, trying to divert your pain to something else. Sunny begins to brush through your hair, preventing you from pulling. You look up to him, your eyes red and puffy, and tears strolling down your face.
"Why? Why do you care? Why are you caring? Why can't you leave me alone, why do you have to try?" You say, trying to wipe your tears. Sunny looks confused.
Isn't this care supposed to be normal?
Why aren't you used to it?
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larainn 9 months ago
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Crush || Gorou X Reader
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Gorou X Reader
Genre : Smut
Morden Collage Au
Warning - This contains Hybrid Gorou, breeding , both Gorou and reader as switch, knotting , bitting, cross dressing.
Minors do not enter - This contain the above mentioned content if you don't like or sensitive to anything please don't read any further
You were in last semester of your University, it was a short time period for you as you were doing this one extra course. And there you met him, your Crush.
It was very unexpected, even though you all were free to sit anywhere somehow always Gorou and you ended up sitting next to each other.
Gorou was a very shy boy and that's what made you very curious of him, it was not like you both never talked you did, even you guys exchanged your numbers and followed each other in SNS.
And what made you like him? Everytime he talked to you he smiled so sweetly, his ears always twitched while you looked at him, the way his hair always fell down in his forehead made you go really crazy.
And being a very courageous person that you were not one fine day invited him to go in a restaurant to eat, maybe a date for you.
And here you were 15 minutes early so you can get yourself ready and don't mess up anything.
Gorou came wearing his teal green Crop top and baggy brown jumper. His ears twitched once he saw you sitting farther at the side table. He came towards his tail wagged like he was happy, oh what a cute view.
You held yourself together before you start drooling over and looked in front while gorou came and sat in front of you.
"Hi, how have you been?" Gorou said in a very shy tone. Oh you just wanted to ruffel his hair and pinch his cheeks right now.
And that's how you both ended up talking alot. Gorou was not that shy you just needed to break his ice and you were happy that you took this step.
In between your talks you notice that Gorou said that he was feeling hot or one time he shivers because of cold that was very wierd thing.
Suddenly Gorou started panting hard, which made you so scaerd. You suddenly went over to him. He grabbed you by waist and made you sit next to him. Hugging you and keep sniffling on you neck.
"You smell so good, so relaxing" Gorou moaned.
"Are you alright?" You asked out of concern.
"Mhmmm" Gorou hummed while keep sniffling on your neck.
Is it what you were really thinking of, maybe yes it is. It won't hurt asking him about it.
" Gorou, are you in heat?"
Gorou just nodded his head not showing his face, maybe was just embarrassed.
"Okay, let's get you to home first." With that you took him home and made him sit on the bed. Gorou grabbed your hand and pulled you towrds him making you sit on his lap.
He started liking your neck now, which bought a very wierd feeling. A moan came out of your mouth involuntarily. Which made Gorou excited and he started humping while you were still sitting on his lap.
You suddenly pulled him away. "I- I will bring you some water first Gorou" with that you ran towards the kitchen.
Your heart was beating really fast you grabbed a glass of water and went back inside the room with deep breath.
The view you saw in front of you almost made the glass drop from your hand. Gorours jumper was half down his dick was out and was humping on a pillow, tears coming out of his mouth, cheeks flushed red. Tail wagging up and down.
Oh the site made you so wet. The site in front of you just wanted you to Devore the boy. You put the water in side tabel.
The noise made Gorou aware of your presence in the room.
"please help me out" Gorou cried while still humping on the pillow.
And here you was you turned Gorou around facing you totally hovering over him. You started kissing him very roughly taking his dick in your hands palming him.
You stopped your hand movements Gorou cried out a very beautiful moan and started moving his hips, your hands still surrounding his dick.
You slowly took off his crop top and started licking and giving hickeys on his chest. You slowly went to his nipple and gave it a lick Gorou cried out your name. The boy was really sensitive here.
As Gorou was holding your waiste during whole this time, his hands slowly went down taking off your shorts leaving you naked from down, the cold air could be felt and suddenly two fingers entered into your hole, Gorou started fingering you. Which made you stop doing all the other action.
You moaned as his fingers did wonders to you. Gorou flipped you and you both switched the positions now he was on top of you. You were already near your high when suddenly Gorou stopped.
You buckled your ass up to get some friction, you cried out because all you for was air "I wil fill you with my pups don't worry" Gorou growled. He rubbed his dick on your hole with force. Both of you trying to get some friction.
"Gorou please stop being a tease." And with one command Gorou enterd in you, slowly. Tears started forming in your eyes and you could hear Gorour's beautiful whimpers.
He started moving at first it was slow pace. It was already showing you stars. "It feels so good Gorou, Breed me Gorou fill me with your pups, you said you will" the sentence made Gorou go crazy , he started moving in a very fanatic state your walls already started clenching in his dick.
And you felt his dick tip being enlarged slowly he knotted you. And the pain from knot was unbearable. Tears started flowing from your eyes. Gorou came down and started kissing off your tears.
The pain slowly turned into pleasure, Gorou started moving again. He kissed your lips and slowly started gown down the neck, biting it and licking it. And you already came for the 3rd time and this time Gorou started realising with you, while he bits into you neck and shivered. A good release he was having. You could feels his fluids deep inside you.
You both waited until his knot became small and finally he pulled out, your and his fluid flowing out. He really loved that site his eyes sparkled.
You just looked into his eyes and he finally noticed that how desperately you were looking at him.
"You knew about your hear?" You asked him
He just nodded while his ear twiched frantically.
"So why you said yes for meeting me, what if your heat started while I would be not around you." You said while giving him a concerning look.
"Because I wanted to meet you and spend time with you" Gorou said embarrassingly.
"I have liked you for quite sometime, I never had courage to talk with you because I always felt so shy, that's why I started sitting next to you everyday thinking you would notice me" Gorou said while looking down.
You just ruffled his hairs and pulled him close.
"I like you too, that also for quite sometime, but since we didn't talked but I didn't asked you out. That would be wierd right, but now you are my puppy don't me shy anymore." You said while ruffling his ear.
"And you are mine too" Gorou said while looking at the bite mark proudly he made at your neck, maybe you still didn't know about the mark.
[ I am blushing >\\\< Hope you liked it!]
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kyovtani a year ago
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饾悰饾悮饾悳饾悿 饾惌饾惃 饾惀饾悽饾悷饾悶 鈥 饾悿饾惒饾惃饾惍饾惌饾悮饾惂饾悽 饾悿饾悶饾惂饾惌饾悮饾惈饾惃饾惍 (饾煇)
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鈥 pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader
鈥 genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN
鈥 word count: 9.6k
鈥 warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-
鈥 (A/N: and here鈥檚 part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)
[ part one ]
鈥 summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)
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"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.
鈥淥nce in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.
"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.
"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.
鈥淵ou're right, I should just鈥 give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.
At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.
After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.
However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.
"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.
The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.
Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back 鈥 a typical college party.
However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.
Kyoutani Kentarou.
You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.
"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with 鈥 Sora?"
"Y/N, don't鈥", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.
"It's one of Yuuji鈥檚 frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.
"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.
You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.
After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.
The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn鈥檛 love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.
It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.
"I 鈥 Wow鈥, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, 鈥測ou were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.
His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red 鈥 including his eyes 鈥 you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.
"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."
"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know 鈥 showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.
Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.
After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.
Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.
He probably left with Sora- something you can鈥檛 and won鈥檛 ever blame him for.
After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen 鈥 anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).
You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.
You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.
At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.
However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you鈥檙e about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.
He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.
"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.
"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.
And then realization hits you.
"How did you know鈥", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.
Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.
And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.
"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.
鈥淥f course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I 鈥 panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.
"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to 鈥 this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.鈥
Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he鈥檚 probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.
"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.
鈥淵ou m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and 鈥 I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.
"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn鈥檛 the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.
"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.
"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can鈥檛 deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.
"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.
"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."
Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.
A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.
It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.
The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.
He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.
You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.
"I 鈥 love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.
Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.
"But you're not good for me."
You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.
The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.
You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani鈥檚 lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.
Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.
Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.
You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.
"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.
And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.
"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But 鈥 I am not who I used to be anymore鈥, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.
鈥淚 am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and 鈥 I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.
"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but 鈥 I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible鈥, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, 鈥渁nd that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and 鈥 goodbye, my love.鈥
Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.
Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.
There you are, yet again.
Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.
The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.
Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.
Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.
You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.
And then it hits you.
The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.
Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.
And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.
"What the fuck is going 鈥 Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.
You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.
"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.
"I鈥", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.鈥
You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.
After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.
Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.
"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body鈥檚 basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.
"I 鈥 you 鈥 we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.
But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.
"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.鈥
Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.
You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.
"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this 鈥 us up. Yes, I鈥檝e made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he鈥檚 just listening to you.
"I just 鈥 don't understand how you can be this oblivious."
"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.
"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.鈥
You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.
鈥淚'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much鈥, you can tell that he鈥檚 already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.
"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but 鈥 you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.鈥
And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.
"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me鈥, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.
鈥淎nd yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"
You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just 鈥 wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."
And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.
"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.
You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.
And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.
"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.
You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.
With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.
"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.鈥
You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.
Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.
But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.
"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.
He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.
After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.
You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.
And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.
"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.
"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.
鈥淏aby鈥︹, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.
"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.
Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.
"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren鈥檛 you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.
鈥淵et you're saying all those naughty things鈥, Kentarou chuckles deeply, 鈥渋magine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.
"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.
Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.
"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.
"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."
"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"
His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.
You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.
However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.
Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.
"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.
"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.
"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you鈥, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, 鈥渇uck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.
Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.
You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.
鈥淒on't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.
"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.
Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.
Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.
"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.
You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.
The feeling of his cock between your lips is 鈥 different.
It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.
And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.
"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.
Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.
You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.
Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.
And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.
You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.
Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.
"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.
It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.
You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani鈥檚 hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.
You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.
But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.
"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.
Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.
Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.
He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.
"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.
鈥淟ook at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.
Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.
But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.
"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.
"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn鈥檛 do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.
鈥淏ut I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.
Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.
"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck 鈥 the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.
"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.
"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.
"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and 鈥 finally 鈥 starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.
鈥淚f that's what you want, then that鈥檚 what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.
"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.
鈥淲e're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.
鈥淔-Fuck...you鈥檙e so鈥 tight鈥, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, 鈥渋t鈥檚 like you鈥檝e never been fucked before.鈥
鈥淪-So good...so fucking good, nngh-鈥, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.
You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.
And then he finally starts moving.
A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.
鈥淢hm, just like that, you little brat鈥, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he鈥檚 been imagining it all this time, 鈥渃oming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.鈥
You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.
His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.
鈥淥pen your mouth鈥, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.
鈥淵ou know what? I鈥檇 rather have you say it鈥, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.
You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.
鈥淪-Say wh-what?鈥, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.
鈥淚 want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum鈥, Kentarou鈥檚 voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, 鈥渁nd stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I鈥檓 fucking your brains out.鈥
A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.
And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you鈥檝e come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.
鈥淚 told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you鈥檙e making me wait鈥, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.
鈥淧lease...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all鈥, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, 鈥淚 want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.鈥
鈥淭here you go..鈥, Kyoutani鈥檚 plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he鈥檚 come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.
He didn鈥檛 hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.
You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you鈥檇 stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.
鈥淲hat did you just call me, pretty girl?鈥, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.
And for the first time you just can鈥檛 get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.
鈥淧lease, Daddy鈥, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, 鈥渘-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.鈥
You don鈥檛 really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.
The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.
You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.
"Now go on, angel girl鈥, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, 鈥淚 want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.鈥
You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.
And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.
Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.
"That's my baby鈥, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you鈥檙e still cumming.
Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren鈥檛 you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy鈥檚 cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."
You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.
"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you鈥檙e both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.
His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.
Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.
"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.
"I love you, too, D-Daddy鈥, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, 鈥渢hank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.
"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.
Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know鈥", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that鈥", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa 鈥 who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate 鈥 comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.
"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.
Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.
"Kawa stop fucking staring and 鈥 can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.
This type of situation is nothing you鈥檙e not used to 鈥 unfortunately.
"Uhm 鈥 of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.
Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.
And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.
And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize 鈥 you're finally home.
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bright-whump 7 months ago
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Yeah, the fish tank filling up with water thing in all honor, but what about one of those preassure tank things that slowly drains out the oxygen? and the whole thing is glass obviously and you can still hear through it so Whumper can taunt and watch to their heart's content. or just, making them get into a lockable water tank under threat, going "awwe don't worry, i remember you're quite good at holding your breath, you have been so far", and you know just making them aware they will be locked under water for who knows how long and the panic in their eyes as they try to take the biggest breath of air as the lid starts to close
ANONNAJFHAHDHSHDHD you can't...just...send these to me...I'm going to die. Fuck. Guh. (I'm jk of course please do continue 馃サ)
CWs: suffocation/choking, torture, implied past noncon used to taunt
x
"This should be interesting."
Whumpee presses their hands flat to the glass, looking around the container Whumper has thrown them in, trying to figure out what kind of sick torture they're in for this time.
"Wh-what is this?" They don't mean to stammer, to allow their voice to shake, but the fear gets through anyway.
And Whumper loves it. They always do. They grin, wickedly, and then rap their knuckle against it.
"You're too mouthy for your own good, darling. No matter what I do. Gagging you...just isn't good enough. You still find ways to curse me."
"Fuck you," Whumpee singsongs, and then kicks the glass, though it only ends up feeling like it nearly breaks their bare toes. "F鈥攐w! Fuck you!"
"I'd think you'd have learned to use another phrase by now," Whumper purrs, looking them over, and Whumpee scowls, ducks their head in shame. "But I think...no, I think this should be a good lesson."
Whumpee watches Whumper click a button on something in their hand, and flinches as the top of the container closes down.
"What are you鈥"
Whumper presses something else, smirking, and suddenly Whumpee can't breathe as well. Suddenly they're dropping to their knees, clutching at their throat, and heaving in their breaths with so much effort it makes their muscles ache.
And then there's nothing. They try to wheeze in just a little more, and there's nothing.
Whumpee cries out. Or at least, they try to, but not a single sound comes from their mouth. They gag, and cough, and the noises are entirely silent. They tug at the collar around their neck, but even if they could get it off it wouldn't help.
"That's much better," comes Whumper's voice, muffled from the outside, and Whumpee raises their head to find the awful monster leering down at them, hands behind their back. "Why don't you try swearing at me now?"
Whumpee does try. Nothing comes. They mouth the words with not even a whisper of sound, and then brace themselves against the floor, striking their fist against the ground.
"Quite a fun little invention, isn't it? Vacuum-sealed." Whumper taps the glass again, taking a big, audible breath and sighing it out, and it makes Whumpee's lungs burn even hotter.
"Mmm. You look uncomfortable, dear one. Would you like to come out?"
Whumpee nods. It's all they can do. Their hands claw at their throat, their chest, as the pain becomes unbearable, and Whumper drinks it all in.
"Look at me. Pet. Let me see your pretty face."
Whumpee would do anything for this just to stop. They look up at Whumper, eyes half-lidded and vision blurred, chest heaving as they instinctively gulp for air that isn't coming.
"Oh, you poor thing! I don't think you're supposed to be that color! You look sorry, though. Are you sorry for being a naughty little thing?"
Whumpee nods again. They can't wait anymore, it hurts too much. They're blacking out, and maybe it's for the best they die, it means they'll be away from Whumper鈥
"Good pet," Whumper says, sounding miles away, and then suddenly there's air hitting Whumpee's face, and they collapse onto their side, coughing and gasping, filling their lungs again and again until things start to fade back in, until they can feel their fingers and toes again and they're left in some awful euphoric state of just being able to breathe.
"You can really hold your breath quite a while," Whumper murmurs, thoughtfully. "I just don't think you should be struggling so much when you鈥"
"Stop," Whumpee pleads, tears starting to drip down their face. They curl into themselves, hiding their eyes against their arm, and can't hold back a quiet sob, relieved only because they can hear again, they can make noise again. "Please."
"Oh, pet. You sound...broken. It's beautiful."
Whumpee chokes on their tears, and wipes them away, and pushes themselves back up a bit. "No. I鈥擨鈥擨'm not...broken."
Whumper pouts. "Shame. But you are crying. I didn't even have to touch you. So personally, I think, if I just鈥"
Whumpee feels the air thin again, and they panic, crying out no before they're gasping in as much as they can before it's gone.
"鈥攄o this a few more times, that might change," Whumper finishes, with a happy little smile. "It's fun, anyway, isn't it?"
Whumpee covers their mouth with both hands, watching Whumper settle themselves down in a chair they pull over, crossing their legs, getting comfortable as Whumpee's chest starts to burn again.
"I do think you're most beautiful when you're like this, pet. Struggling. Desperate for the breath I won't give to you. It really reminds you who's in charge, here, doesn't it? Who your body belongs to?"
Whumpee only glares at them. It's all they can do.
And Whumper shrugs, checks their watch, and flips the little remote between their fingers.
"Well, that's alright. Nowhere for me to be til tonight. So..." They tilt their head, watching as Whumpee slumps over again, trembling.
"We'll just see how you feel then."
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cellophaine 10 months ago
Text
Fic: Lingered Affection
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader
Words: 1390
Warnings: None (?). I don't know. Low-key sad (?)
Author's Note: Welcome to my first fanfic work :) I'm an amateur in this (also, English is not my first language) so if you have any feedback, comment, advice, ... please let me know. Anything is greatly appreciated :)
I want to test the water with this fic since this is my first. The name is kinda still in the work. I have an idea how things will go if I turn this into a series. If not, this can be just a one-shot.
Update: it鈥檚 now a series! Check my profile for updates!
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"I can't do this anymore."
There they were. Five simple words that made a violent tug at your heart. Yet, you didn't feel the relief. In place of it were waves of dreadfulness for what was coming.
"What do you mean?".
Matt's eyebrows furrow, a wary look on his face as he listened to you, to the frantic heartbeat that you knew you couldn't hide. God, all you want to do was reaching your hand up to the crease between his brows and gently kneaded at them, like you always did when he passed out, in pain and agony, after a rough fight on his nightly patrol as the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.
"I don't think we should keep seeing each other. This is not working out."
Another blow to the fragile barrier you struggled to put up. You tried to calm your internal thoughts and feelings as they were clawing their ways out.
"Let's pretend that I couldn't hear another spike in your heartbeat just now, but I know that you're lying. I can feel the waver in your voice. I know you."
You stayed silent. Matt stepped towards you with his hand sought you out. You walked backward, forced yourself to avoid his touch with great effort. He flinched as he noticed your movement and abruptly stopped in his track, distress imprinted on his face.
"Talk to me. Whatever is bothering you, tell me. Don't shut me out.聽Please."
Your breath halted in your lungs at his pleading words. All you want to do was to take back everything that leads to this moment, to sink in his embrace. But deep down, you thought, you knew, that this was for the best. You didn't deserve him and the love he had given you, with pieces of himself that you held close to your heart. It was only a matter of time before you ruin every precious thing that he gave you and wreck them, as you'd always done in the past. That was why you don't have close friends, no family, only acquaintances, and even those faded into nothing because you let them be that way. Until Matt. He showed you that you are whole, you are worthy of love. Hell, even his friends had become your friends. Your life had changed, and for the first time, you felt happy. But was any of this happiness rightfully yours? You felt like an imposter.
"You'll be better off without me."
All good things come to an end, right? Better do it now than later, when it would be even harder to find the courage to leave. It was better this way; you convinced yourself. You'd rather hurt the both of you now than ruin Matt in the long run. You could bear this unbearable pain in your chest even if Matt hated you. God, even the bare thought ravaged you. At least, that meant he would move on.
"No. No. You don't know that. You can't decide that for the both of us. Don't I get to have a say in this?"
Matt pleaded with you, leaving his vulnerability bare to you. You stayed quiet this time. You hated that you were doing this to him. It was unfair and cruel, and you knew that. You drew a breath and decided not to prolong this painful conversation any further.
"Everything you left at my place is in this box. I washed all the clothes before bringing them here, so it might take a while for the detergent smell to wear off."
You tapped on the box on the table. Not everything was in that box, just almost, but he didn't have to know that. You took a deep breath in an attempt to calm your heart but fail miserably. You turned to walk out the door, but your movement was halted by Matt's hand wrapped around your arm desperately.
"Please. Stay with me. Talk it out. Let me have a chance to understand.聽I love you."
You could feel the guard you put up starting to crumble at a rapid pace. You let yourself genuinely look at him for the first time since you stepped into his apartment this afternoon. His soft hair was a little out of place, still lovely, and so inviting. You wanted to run your hands over it gently with the feel of the delicate strands brushed against your palms and fingers. He brought a hand to your cheek, stroked the side of your face affectionately. His unsighted eyes focused at a point on your face, full of concern and worry and unspoken words of love he hadn't said.聽Damn it, Matt. You're making this harder than it needed to be.
"I don't love you."
You choked out the words with incredible difficulty. Matt flinched hard, grabbed both of your shoulders and held onto you like you were his lifeline.
"Why do you say that? I know you're lying. Why are you trying so hard to convince me that you don't love me?" He lets his frustration out and raises his voice. "Why are you doing all of this?"
You swallowed hard, knowing that you couldn't give him the answer. You knew he'd make a great effort to show you, convince you why you were wrong. He always had a way to make you see the best in situations, in people, and more often than most, in you.
You soaked in the sight of him, knowing this might be the last time you get to gaze upon him, to bask in his love and kindness. Allowing yourself one last tender moment with him, you reached up with your hand, cradled his face tenderly. He seemed to be relieved just a bit at your gesture, leaned his head into your palm while still kept his eyes on your face. Your thumb followed the rise of his cheekbone. He slightly turned his head, pressed a kiss to your palm, made your heart pound uncontrollably. Your hand descended; the soft stubble grazed the pad of your thumb as you traced the outline of his lips. The memories of the kisses you shared surged forward to your mind, making you blush. It made you all the more dread the approaching time when you couldn't hold him in your arms. You were afraid you would never be able to have something like this, someone like him again. He already was the death of you.聽Might as well indulge in this warmth one last time, you thought.
You tentatively raised on your tiptoes, bringing your face closer to his. He met you halfway with a fiery rush, crushing you against his body. You melted into the kiss almost immediately, your arms encircling his neck, your hand reaching into his hair and gently grabbing at it. He groaned into the kiss. His tongue probed at your lips, asking for permission. Your lips parted open, welcomed him in. The two of you continued to chase the familiar rhythm you often share, yet, it felt different now. It felt final. It felt like a knife with two edges: a pleading and a goodbye kiss.
As the kiss grew more desperate and out of hand, you mentally snapped yourself back into place. You firmly pushed Matt back. You stepped away, but his grasp on you was unyielding. You took his wrist, gently removed them from your sides. You adjusted your coat and said with finality: "You can throw my stuff out or donate them. I don't need them back." Matt looked defeated; his eyes shone with unshed tears. The sight dug another wound at your heart, but it was already in pieces, ever since you made the decision. You could handle a tattered heart that you didn't even want to mend yourself. You were sure of it, you told yourself.
"Take care of yourself, Matt."
You stepped outside, into the hurrying, scattered crowd of people looking to get out of the cold weather on the New York streets. The sharp gust of wind made invisible slashes at your face as if punishing you for what you did. You walked faster, not to escape the cold, but in the hope of getting out of Matt's radar sense range before you finally let out a choked sob; the tears in your eyes fell with a miserable relief.
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hotch-stufff 10 months ago
Text
Surprise, Surprise
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x F!reader
Warnings!: there are no warnings, im not telling you a single thing. It's a surprise. Just read and find out ;)
Also, as much as I love him, Jack does not exist in this story, wasn't really sure how to write him in.
Author's Note: I'm so sorry that I haven't written in a while, I have had no inspiration and my bf dumped me so... ya'know that was nice. Anyways, finally getting some inspo, hopefully I will be writing more. Hope you guys enjoy this one :) Also, the mood board is mine, but the images are all from pintrest.
Word count: 1.4 k words
This is an emotional roller coaster
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You couldn't breathe.
You couldn't move, or speak.
Your knees gave out as you fell to the floor, sobs racking your body.
You felt arms wrap around you, but it didn't help. You were suffocating. He was your air, and he had just been ripped from your lungs.聽
He was gone, dead.
Your husband.
The love of your life.
Aaron Hotchner was dead
* * *
You don't remember anything after the doctor uttered those words. You don't remember Rossi picking you up and holding you. You don't remember the sad glances, the tears shed by your teammates. You don't remember the car ride to your now empty shared apartment. You don't remember lying down and sobbing into the pillow for hours.
No, you only remember the pain. The unbearable pain of loss.
He was gone. Really gone.
You cried and cried for hours on end. Until you had no tears left to shed.聽
Then you just lied there, staring at the wall, gripping his favorite shirt in your arms, remembering every little moment with him.
And it hurt like hell just thinking of everything you did with him. The day you met. Your first kiss, your first date. The day he proposed. Your wedding. Every little thing.聽
And you wouldn't be able to do anything else. You wouldn't have kids with him. You guys had just talked about having a baby just the other day. He wanted one so bad.聽
You shouldn't have waited.
Because now, now he was gone.
* * *
The next few days were a blur. You found yourself with home-cooked meals overflowing your fridge. A team member at your house every night. But it was all a blur.
All meaningless without Aaron.
The funeral was coming up. You didn't make any arrangements, you asked Rossi if he could handle it and he quickly agreed.聽
He had taken care of finding the casket, picking a place, and finding a burial site. Everything.聽
The only thing you had asked for was a closed casket.
You couldn't handle looking at him.
* * *
On the day of the funeral, the girls all came over to help you get ready.聽
"Alright y/n, do you have a dress?" Penny asked as she walked out of kitchen.
"In the closet." You croaked. Your voice being hoarse from the crying and lack of speaking for the past two weeks.
"Okay I'll grab that, and shoes. Jj is going to make you breakfast and Em is going to do your hair okay?" You gave her a sad smile and a small okay.
Penny quickly walked back your hallway as Em began pulling your hair back in a low ponytail. You felt the tears begin slipping down your face once again.
Jj saw as she walked back in the room with a bagel and coffee.
"Oh sweetheart." And the dam broke. They comforted you the best they could. But they couldn't even imagine what you were going through, because he was gone.
* * *
The funeral was a blur. It seemed like everything was these days.聽
It was a beautiful service. You don't remember much. Lots of hugs and 'sorry for your loss's.
It had gone quickly, and soon you found yourself in Rossi's living room. Everyone but the team had left, you sat alone. The rest were in the kitchen cleaning up.
You didn't move from your spot, sipping your wine.
Everyone walked in, and found spots around you.
It was silent. Not a single word was spoken.
"I'm taking a leave of absence." You spoke.
6 pairs of eyes shot to you, but they couldn't say they were surprised.
"It's just too much. I'm not ready to come back." Your voice was quiet. Rossi was the first to say anything.
"Take all the time you need."聽
* * *
And you did. You spent about 3 months in that apartment, alone and sad and heartbroken.聽
But you realized that Aaron would never want you to live like this. And you really needed to be able to pay the bills.
So after those 3 months, you gave Rossi a call. He had become until chief since you had left, and he instantly accepted you back to the team.
You were slowly getting better.聽
Each passing case a distraction.聽
Each one fixing you just a bit more.聽
Each one giving your life a purpose, a meaning again.
And you felt better. You stopped crying yourself to sleep. You stopped sitting in silence for hours on end. You stopped crying every time you thought about him.
But you still visited him every week. You still thought about him everyday. You still wore your wedding rings, refusing to take them off.
But you were better.聽
* * *
A few more months went by and you started going out with the team again. You spent more time with them. Almost every weekend. And you were somewhat okay.
And it wasn't until about 8 months after his death did your world come to another crashing halt.
You had been called in to the BAU, not entirely sure why, but you came in none the less.聽
You figured it was a case, but Jj hadn't specified on the phone, which was strange.
You had walked up to the conference room, and were surprised to see the whole team sitting there ready to go.聽
"Hey guys, do we have a case?" You asked, but Jj sent you a sad look causing you to grow worried.
"Y/n, you should sit down for this." You had no idea what was going on. What on earth was happening. "Peter Raymond recently resurfaced, and was taken into custody this morning about an hour ago. He resisted arrest and pulled a gun on an officer. He was shot and killed." Your heart hammered in your chest. He was gone. The bastard who killed your husband was gone. Rossi stood walking towards Jj.
A pit grew in your stomach, there was more, something you didn't know.
"8 months ago I made a decision that greatly affected this team. Aaron Hotchner received substantial injuries from the wounds he endured, but his surgery was a success and he was airlifted to an unknown location. His identity was changed in order to keep him safe. But he is alive."聽
You couldn't believe your ears. He was alive. Alive?聽
Your eyes shot to the door and there he stood.聽
Aaron Hotchner.聽
You couldn't breathe.聽
You couldn't move or speak.聽
He was alive, you should be ecstatic.
But you only felt anger.
Your eyes shot to Rossi.
"How dare you." You whispered out, surprising the team. You weren't an angry person, you never yelled at your teammates. But you, you were seething. "How could you do that. You knew he was alive and yet you let me suffer. You watched as I cried day and night. You watched as I let myself go, as I lost myself." You shook your head in anger.
Aaron stepped forward reaching out for you, but you shook your head.
"Dont touch me. Don't fucking touch me." You felt the tears fall down your face. Again. "You left me. You're dead. You're gone. Y-you left." You were shaking and crying and once again Aaron reached out for you, but this time you let him.
He brought you into a crushing hug, holding you like you had begged to be held for months.聽
He was here, really here. You could smell and feel and see him. He was really here.
"Y-you bastard. You left me." You whispered desperately as you cried into his shirt.聽
The team was quick to disperse. They too were mad at Rossi, and they wanted to reunite with Hotch. But they left you be, at least for now.
Aaron pulled back slightly, looking down at you.
"Sweetheart I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't have to. But he would have killed you and then he would have killed me." He had tears running down his face as well now. But you were so angry at him.
You pushed him away.
"I could have gone with you Aaron. You could have gone into witsec. You didn't need to fake your fucking death Aaron!" You yelled at him.聽you couldn't even believe you were eating this conversation.
"Y/n please, I'm so sorry." You were mad yeah, but you were so overwhelmingly relieved that it overpowered your anger. "I missed you sweetheart." He whispered out and you broke just a little bit more.
"You bastard. Y-you stupid man." You pulled him back to you and slammed your lips together. "You stupid, stupid man." You gasped out between kisses.聽
"I know, I'm so sorry. I love you." He stated after you pulled away.
"I-I love you too." You were sobbing at this point.. "Don't ever do that to me again." He nodded, leaning in to kiss you again.
And you kissed your husband.
Because he wasn't gone.聽
He was right here.
And god did it feel amazing to have him back
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Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! Currently I'm only taking requests from my prompt list, which is right here! School is starting up soon though, so i may not be writing very often, but i will definitely try! Anyways, if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.
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ulquiorrapleasecallmetrash 3 months ago
Note
I saw your post, can I request prompt 6 & 17 as well as kisses 3 then 4 for Byakuya Kuchiki 馃槳馃挅 muchly appreciated
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Fandom: Bleach
words: 1,419
Rated: G
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: None!
Harmony: Oooo sounds pretty fun! Here you go I hope you enjoy it!
Prompt 6: "I can't stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I try, you're always on my mind"
Prompt 17: "Part of me wants to keep the promise I made to myself.. the other half wants to say 'screw it'" "Which half is winning?" "The latter"
Kiss 3: Small peck, pause, then a passionate kiss
Kiss 4: Against the wall/door kiss
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Everyone dies.
Even soul reapers have an expiration date. That is just how life is.
Sometimes, trying to deny the reality of this can be very hard for anyone.
You were completely different from her. Yet, you somehow add some kind of spark or flame that burns in Byakuya's soul.聽 He couldn't understand it.聽 You were loud, too obnoxious, and extremely opinionated which were all the things Byakuya loathed. But when you are passionate, fierce, and confident with yourself those were the parts where you shined the most. The realization that he first liked you dawned on him was when you first聽saved him. Your fighting was fierce yet elegant, the power, the fiery in your eyes when you defeated the enemy was perfect. But the touch when you gave him was so gentle and nurturing. He couldn't deny that he wanted you to keep caressing him until you opened your mouth.
"Wow, you really got your ass handed to you, idiot."
There it was. Your talking always killed the mood, reminding me how truly unbearable you really can聽be.
"You don't look so good either..."
You grinned, followed by a boisterous laugh, "True but at least I'm still standing. I checked and it looks like you have a few broken bones on your arm and left leg, other than that, just a few scrapes and bruises. You're lucky that guy didn't fuck you up even more. Good thing your princess is here to save you huh?" Still, even with the pain he was in he still couldn't help聽but roll his eyes at you.
"Even in battle, you're still as irritating as the day I first met you."
You giggled at him, true, but you knew right from the beginning that he had some kind of interest in you. Rather it's your good qualities or your bad ones.
"Come on, let me help you up, I'll take you to the infirmary."
A week later Byakuya couldn't help but think back on the day when you saved his life, it was becoming too distracting. What's even worse was that he had to take everything easy since he was healing.聽 Even Renji himself could tell something was wrong with him, it was like he was always daydreaming about something. Everyone knew you had affected Byakuya in a certain way, whether it was in a negative or a positive way. It was still entertaining for everyone to see.
It was quite clear that you felt the same way when you appeared at Byakuya's hospital room with a bunch of flowers and a cute kawaii bunny stuffed animal.
"Why are you giving me such an unnecessary gift?" He glared at them, especially the stupid-looking bunny.
"Because I notice that no one has given you any gifts."
"That's because I specially requested everyone not to send me anything."
"Well, I did it anyway."
There you go again... but instead of being annoyed by the fact that you went out and did it any way he was somehow very touched by the nice gesture.
"Just exactly why would you go out of your way to send me things I specially requested not to?"
"Because I care for my captain and I know that you like bunnies." You smirked at him, causing Byakuya to let out an exasperated sigh, "You never change, do you? Always being so ridiculous."
You made a silly pouty face, fake crying afterward, "So harsh Bya~ All I聽wanted was to express how much I care of you." Your smile was genuine and it lit up the whole infirmary room, it made Byakuya's heart skip a beat. He somehow felt...warm when you smiled at him just like this. You walked closer to him, leaning down to cup his cheek, staring into his eyes.
You gave him a small peck on the lips out of nowhere. Byakuya's eyes widened, not sure what to think, your eyes widened again, your face now red like the roses you have given him. "I-I um... I better get going. See you later Captain Byakuya!" You then scurried off before he could say another word to you.
Now A month later, he was still thinking about the kiss you had given him. It had become nonstop, he remembered what your lips had felt like and how your warmth had healed something in him. He had promised to never fall in love again, he made that promise to Hisana and he was sticking to it but now here you are, breaking down the wall that he made all these years. Was it truly okay to fall in love with someone who was the exact opposite of Hisana?
Was it okay to truly love again?
He had never felt this way towards anyone else before...
"Hey Captain, I have the papers for you~." You hummed as you busted into Byakuya's office. Typical you, but a different day. He sighed, picking up his pen before staring at you rather coldly, "Set it on my desk." You did just that, staring at him out of curiosity. He seemed... different like he was always deep in thought. Why exactly was that?
"Hey Captain, out of curiosity, is something wrong?" Byakuya shot his head up, speaking rather quickly, "why would there be something wrong?" You simply shrugged, "I know something is聽wrong, ever since the day I visited you. I want to apologize for the kiss, I was worried about you and I was relieved that you would be okay...I just... don't know what I would if anything were to happen to you."
"Is that so?"
You nodded, "Yeah, despite our bickering I really do... like you.聽 As a boss I mean." He was silent, and it had made you nervous, why he's always so silent when he thinks?
"Are you sure it isn't just more than just that?" His question was so straightforward it made you even more scared to say something.
"Maybe it is, the real question is, what do you really think about me?"聽 You stared at him, now it was your turn to be straightforward. He got up from his desk, walking up to you, his dark eyes stared into your shiny e/c ones.聽 His slightly cold hand, cupped your reddened cheek, they felt nice against your warm skin, "I can't stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I try, you're always on my mind. And I don't know why. At first, I thought because you irritated me so much. Everything that you said was always so memorable but the day when you saved me, it made me realize how strong, passionate, and capable you are. It was something I always ignored and now I realized how... important you are to me."
You couldn't help but giggle at what he had said, "Really? So, you do like me?" Your heart was racing, but you were deep down scared at what he had said, you realized that he might not be able to love you because of Hisana.
He took your hands into his', before speaking again, "Part of me wants to keep the promise I made to myself... the other half wants to say 'screw it' and love you with all of my heart."聽 You couldn't believe he would be this vulnerable towards you, "Really? Then Which half is winning?" "The latter."
He lifted your chin up, so you could stare into your eyes, for once his eyes were filled with something, something passionate and loving. Then, right before completely pulling into you, he pushes against the wall, placing a hand onto the wall right beside you to trap you, making sure that you wouldn't leave his grasp, not like you wanted to leave anyway. He gave you a peck on the lips, then he went right back in to give you another kiss, this time more loving and passionate. You both spent a minute enjoying each other like this, the urgency you both had for each other was apparent. He needed you as much as you needed him. He then let go of you, the both you of panting from the kiss you both went through together.
You then smirked at him, "So why don't you tell me how you really feel Captain."
For the first time he smiled at your smart mouth, "You always have something to say, don't you?"
"If it makes our relationship more interesting than yes, I do." You teased him, causing him to lean forward again to give you another kiss.
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