#i still haven't learned how to tag
wherever we go, it'll be together
Buck and Eddie were sitting at the table, the remnants of their dinner littering the table. They hadn’t had the energy yet to get up and start the dishes. Christopher had gone to his room to get some homework done before they watch a movie while Buck and Eddie got the dishes done. So far, though, no luck.
Buck had been over more and more since Eddie’s breakup with Ana— it finally felt like things were going back to normal. To how it was before they both got girlfriends, before Eddie was shot, before it felt like there was this distance between the two of them that neither liked but neither knew how to fix.
Eddie’s breakup with Ana hadn’t been exactly messy, but it wasn’t as amenable as Buck and Taylor’s— those two had known they weren’t meant to last. Buck wanted a family, he wanted to settle down. Taylor was riding the high of her career— as she should, she had worked extremely hard to get to where she was and Buck was happy for her. However, their needs didn’t match up and it had started to become a problem.
But things were finally getting back to normal for the Buckley-Diaz family— and that’s what they were, a family.
The quiet, comfortable silence was broken by Christopher coming back into the kitchen, a confused frown on his face and what looked to be a slim stack of homework in his hands.
“Hey, dad? Can you help me with my science homework?” Christopher asked softly, coming up beside Buck and leaning into his side. Buck wrapped an arm around Christopher’s was it, in part to keep him steady but mostly because the quiet, casual affection from the boy he privately considered to be his and Eddie’s warmed his heart in a way nothing else did. He loved that Christopher was comfortable with him, that he sought out affection from Buck, it made Buck feel wanted and worthy like nothing ever had before.
Eddie winced. “I’ll try, buddy, but you know science isn’t my forte,” Eddie replied, looking to Buck for help. Social studies and history Eddie could do but for science and english, Eddie always looked to Buck for help. Neither of them, however, could do math.
Christopher giggled. “I know, daddy. That’s why I asked dad!” He said, leaning more heavily against Buck and putting the papers he was holding down in front of him.
[continue on ao3]
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Endgame AU. Kinda
Okay so what if Afghanistan never happened? Like, Obadiah never order the hit on Tony and all is ‘well’. So some how all of the MCU happens without him (not possible but just go with me here) up until Strange and co. get to Titan and Strange looks at all the possible futures and
They lose in every one.
That is until he goes a little off script and looks somewhere else and finds some tacky red and gold monstrosity walk away from a moon landing on him and snaps Thanos and his entire army. And is like
“oh shit, where were the hell is this guy”
cue loud rock music
Like there are so many possibility's:
Strange using the time stone to go back and somehow convince Tony Stark to sacrifice himself for a universe that never loved him? Yes please.
Strange and co. somehow managing to hold off Thanos long enough for Strange to find Tony Stark: Merchant of Death and convince him to save the universe, and trying to wrestle him out of Obadiah's grip? Don’t mind if I do.
I just have so many feelings about this mess someone help me.
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one of the main reasons why sk8 is such a good show (in my opinion) is the characterization of reki.
the fact that reki doesn’t somehow magically get better and surpass everyone, the fact that reki improves but not enough to be the best, the fact that reki gets jealous but not in this complete character-changing way is so important.
i think that’s one of the reasons that i like reki so much.
in media nowadays, the underdog character always becomes amazing, they always win in the end. they have a story similar to reki’s, but it turns out they always just needed a little bit more practice or a different teacher or more self-confidence to become better. there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that, but it puts this immense pressure on everyone to want to be the best. it makes everyone think that if they can’t win, if they aren’t the best, if they don’t magically improve and become a prodigy, then they’re bad at whatever it is.
but that isn’t the case with reki.
reki tries and he tries and he tries so hard but no matter what he does, everyone else is better and that’s more realistic in a way. he doesn’t magically improve or magically realize that if he does some specific thing then he’ll be better than everyone else, he just isn’t and he becomes okay with that.
as much as everyone wanted reki to win his second beef against ad*m, i’m glad that he didn’t. i would like for him to beat ad*m because ad*m is terrible, but he didn’t because ad*m is genuinely just that good of a skater.
what makes reki losing so important is that even when he loses, he’s proud of himself. he’s happy and he’s okay with second place. what makes it even more important? not one single person in his little found family went “you were so close!” or “you almost had him!” or said anything about him losing because that wasn’t what was important.
here was this seventeen year old kid who they all realized they cared deeply for not because of his ability to skate, but because of his heart. he just basically got tortured while skating, but he finished the race. it didn’t matter to any of them that he lost, they were proud of him because he finished and he was happy. they all knew something was wrong--maybe at this point they know why or maybe reki tells them later--so seeing reki smile and laugh after one of the most purposefully violent beefs ever was more important.
reki is a symbol for being okay with being okay. reki is a symbol for those who aren’t naturally gifted and those who don’t become so much better even after loads of practice.
reki is loved by his friends and he is considered worthy not because his skating ability defined his worth, but because he loves it. that’s something that most of the found family needed to learn, and they learned it from reki.
skating is supposed to be fun--any activity you do is supposed to be fun. it’s really hard to remember that sometimes especially when you’re surrounded by such talented people--especially when you feel left out of left behind because everyone else is becoming better and you simply aren’t no matter how much you try.
reki is a reminder that you don’t have to be the best at what you do. reki teaches us that you don’t have to be really good at an activity to be amazing and that your worth is not defined by your talent.
people don’t often shows these sides of talent and activities. it’s always the underdog becomes amazing or you have to win or you’re a failure or you can become the best by practicing a lot and the thing is? that simply isn’t true. practice helps, sure. reki did improve when he practiced, but not by a whole heck of a lot. he isn’t on cherry’s level or joe’s level or miya’s or shadow’s or langa’s, and that’s okay.
you can still be important and you can still be a main character and you can still do something that brings you joy even if you aren’t amazing at it.
there are many great things about sk8 and many great things about kyan reki, but this has got to be one of my favorite things about them.
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you know you're a tma fan when you start describing your gender using tma terms
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♡ masterlist ♡
thank you @velvetcardiganbucky for the pretty header!! 💙
all of these are mature so please don't read them if you're not 18+!! 💙
fugitive love (bucky barnes x f!reader)
put it on me (stucky x f!reader)
messy (destroyer!chris x f!reader)
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hola como esta hermosa noche
wow my spanish is shit
don't worry, it's better than mine after 7 years of trying to understand spanish
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Since I’ve been explaining much of myself privately, I figured this one would interest anyone who reads my works or wonders what the hell is up with me and swinging from proud to hating what I write. Big explanation here and I don’t view it as negative, merely explanatory. Positive, even!
We use read mores again!
Fanfic culture changed and I didn’t notice or get the memo between years of hiatus or just being gone from the scene. I missed AO3′s launch and didn’t know about it for several years if that tells you anything.
When I began writing fic at 12-13, it was a cardinal sin to be proud of your work. It was wrong to call it good or yourself a good author. I’m uncertain if this was fandom based or not, but I lurked in a ton of fandoms when I wasn’t writing and it was still fairly prevalent.
This along with... let’s simplify it to the way I was raised (eldest child, “quiet, well-behaved, polite,” gifted child, people pleaser, your elders/betters/men trump you), led to me not becoming humble per se, but automatically defaulting to it once I saw how widespread it was and... told off for saying I was proud of my work. Had my original novel torn apart too years before that. I don’t mean concrit or someone said a weird mean thing. I mean full breakdowns of why each and every sentence was horrid. Do remember there are always ways to help a writer improve. That reviewer did help me, but at a terrible cost of unleashing the full perfectionism that was dormant until then.
I can trace this back to my Naruto fanfic writing days, quite frankly.
People were pissed I was proud of my work and made sure to hammer home I had nothing to be proud of so how dare I (2016-ish)? This was a popular story I deleted and partially reposted before the Bad Thing happened. I still read those unposted chapters back and enjoy them occasionally, so it says they weren’t bad to me. 😂 It just wasn’t the type of story people wanted. Heh, I’m good at that, aren’t I? hello niche my forever friend 🌹 Niche can sucks at times, but let me tell you right now, I don’t regret niche for a second!
But the rest, I kid you not, followed me into my next fandom, where a Big Name Fan would take over a project of mine and warp it to the point I haven’t written “my” OCs since... I want to say 2017, maybe 2018. I was constantly compared to another author as niche has always been my thing, cut down, told I/my ideas/my writing were all stupid/pointless/insert insult here, and eventually the stress combined with Former Abuser and my genetic conditions finally detonating without answers had me quit this fandom too. And when I did... a random yet popular artist anon’d my former writing account that I “needed” to keep writing for them, and when I answered I needed to focus on my health as things were so bad my biggest concern was living to see autumn...
They absolutely blew up and posted a huge rant on their blog about how I disrespected them, they looked like a monster now, how could I do this to them, and how could they have known and blah blah blah. Why were they even on anon in this case? I... apparently was supposed to be a mindreader and know it was them, a person who maybe spoke 4-5 sentences to me in a massive server, tops.
It ended with “Why are you bothering to be proud? [Other Author] is better.”
The following one after I took a... year or two, can’t fully recall, break is not one I can speak of without causing trouble, as evidenced by one throwaway line never meant to insult from the NEXT fandom which you guys all witnessed. But it involved “well you aren’t THAT good” remarks too (the first server it occurred in has long since been dissolved, I think; it was there someone legit made a full document on how my writing was bad, fully unprompted, LMAO) and you can see public ones on my fics there. Those, ironically, helped me stop giving a shit for a good long time about what I do hilariously enough! I still thank that anon to this day. They helped that and made me reassess my writing style.
I should take the time to specify that it’s the tiny, over time jabs that slowly eroded my confidence over the years and left me heavily on the side of “I suck and need to warn people or else I am a bad... person? Author? A Bad Something.” I needed to warn people or else I was lying, I was doing them a disservice. That’s so messed up and unhealthy it’s not funny, and you either saw it or saw the aftermath of that exact thought process with Primeval. I know it’s very, very wrong and I’m working on it.
So we hit MiA and hoo boy, for a dead fandom, it was obviously a ride. Some people enjoyed what I was putting out. Many didn’t and they could’ve been decent and kept quiet about it. I will say beyond a shadow of a doubt: I fucked up here and friends know it. They, the ones that matter and not randos—but hey, toss a comment and that’s how I make friends 😂👀—read and enjoy what I do and have never really had serious problems with Primeval/Big Smut. If my Bon was not what others liked, it should’ve been tough shit, not pile on the author until they quit or appear like a goddamn lunatic, shifting between saying they’re proud to “oh god this is all the worst shit I’ve ever written.”
It should’ve been me, the author, saying to them and myself, “I don’t care. Too bad for you.”
Hindsight is 20/20.
I only ask for understanding with the MiA fics because of the rollercoaster ride. I don’t hate Primeval, I don’t think it’s bad writing, I don’t think it’s bad smut, I don’t think I accidentally wrote something I can’t reconcile. And I don’t hate Dusk, though I am obviously not writing for it anymore. Just to set the record straight.
I don’t hate my works from any fandoms, no matter how old. I don’t want them deleted. I don’t want to delete them. I don’t want to hate my writing or what I do.
But I do want to enjoy it at my pace when I have time and energy, not burn myself out trying to hit deadlines or please people, because I like it and I know at least one other does. It’s a process, a forever ongoing one, but one I hope to.. can I say win at? I want to do it, I want to be better and feel better.
And for the record... I am a good writer. My writing is good. I am proud. 💖 If my style or characterization or plot isn’t for you, it isn’t for you. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad writer. Something a few of us have to learn still, eh?
hit the x at the top of the page if u ain’t into it babey, don’t like don’t read for life
The Final Takeaway: I was taught from a young age not to be proud, not to showcase my work, not to say I am good at what I do, but the exact opposite, and life circumstances really didn’t help across the board. I am trying to unlearn that. I want to for me.
This new culture seems to embrace being proud, saying you’re good, and being hopeful about a writer’s works! I love that! I hope I can get there with y’all someday soon. 👀💕💕💕
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For a very long time, I hated myself. physically, I mean. I was too short, too fat, not straight enough, too different. So I started to change my style to reassure myself that it wasn’t because of my body people didn’t want me, it was my style that scared them off. And it took me a long time to understand that what I had to change was how I saw myself, not how other people saw me.
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Bitches go thru a traumatic event that nearly (and probably should've) killed them and can only process it by making a shittily scribbled visualization of the moment they realized what little normalcy was left in their life was about to go out the window
[[VENT ART THERE IS DEPICTIONS OF BLOOD N STUFF LOL]]
"get yo fuckin dog bitch" "it don't bite"
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!!! Oh!!! Forensic anthropology sounds super cool!
yeah!!! unfortunately it doesn’t look like i can take it this quarter but hopefully i can in the spring!! it seems really interesting if i can get into it
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why does this reddit post about fucking SNAPEISM understand why we should disregard Bible passages that are harmful/not useful yet homophobes and racist people don't?
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@we-can-work-it-outt tagged me in a q&a thingie, now that we're well into quarantine time I'm gonna do it ❤️ thank you Anida
Are you staying home from work/school?
Yup! We digital learning
What music are you listening to?
Well right now, like,, the last few days, HUNNY and Declan McKenna and Will Joseph Cook and Wallows and half•alive but also lots of 5 Seconds of Summer. Cause I just found out I like them
What movies have you watched recently? what shows are you watching?
Surprisingly I'm not watching a lot of things, I waste most of my time doing nothing :)) but I've watched Once Upon a Time in Hollywood again, Jackie Brown for the first time, I'm watching Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (I can explain if needed hdSgkbcy) and uhh every day I get a strong urge to rewatch every movie I've ever been obsessed with... It's probably bc I felt better when I watched those multiple times in a few days and bc it's familiar and easy to watch
If you’re staying home, who’s there with you?
My parents and my (younger) sister
Are you a homebody?
Absolutely, we have a garden and I haven't been on the streets in like weeks. I go out to the garden once every few days lol I'm doing good!! And I'm thankful for my fortunate situation!
An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled?
Nothing really, I was supposed to see Harry Styles in May with my friends but it's been pushed to February
What are you reading?
Fanfiction, copious amounts of fanfiction lmao as I said above,,,,,, having to be responsible for 100% of the schoolwork is stressful, I don't want to whine, I'm trying but uhhhhh let's just say,,, my circumstances are very good, I don't have lots of homework but doing it alone at home is. bad so I'm much more stressed about schoolwork than before all this. Fanfiction as escapism it is!
What are you doing for self care?
Oh I don't care about myself, even the things that seem like self-care are actually detrimental to my personal growth and well being gdysgjvcxx
Anyone wanna talk about their life during this corona thing?? @tsnlesbian @thenaturaldisesther @idk-just-call-me-fliss @darazscsipes-saskarmolas @kazuutoes and if I didn't tag you and you do want to do this, just say I tagged you!!
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OH also... guess who dreamt about speaking Swedish last night bitches!! B)
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Rooftops, glowing boys and old phones for a certain aesthetic.
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Advice for the Day:
Spoil yourself, because sometimes no one else will.
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I've become like, the emotional support provider of my whole theatre class and I don't know how
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Oh, Harrisco haters (or at least one) finally discovered my existence, I almost feel like a BNF now...
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<< On the topic of Danger Mouse, I get confused by the show’s handling of Penfold’s crossdressing? I can’t tell if we’re supposed to find it a funny character quirk of his or something subversive and somewhat empowering??? Also, I’m confused by the show’s occasional nod to people who ship Penfold and Danger Mouse, but then they go and try to hint at a Danger Mouse and Professor relationship??? Finally, the actual writing for the female characters is sometimes not the best, but not always. >>
《 I'm not sure about the cross-dressing (kid's shows have an odd relationship with cross-dressing in general), but the shipping isn't much of a surprise. A DM/Penfold/Squawkencluck poly relationship is technically possible but you know the show won't go through with that. My theory is that they want to give fan service nods to the popular gay ship but don't want to anger heteronormative parents, so they use the one major woman character as ship bait. As much as I ship Fessie with DM on this blog (fun fact: I originally picked her up as a muse because a mutual needed a Professor to ship with), it still bothers me how Fessie seems to exist to help/be shipped with DM for the most part. Not like she doesn't get characterization and whatnot, but she tends to be put in the sidelines a lot of the time. And is it just me or does the show portray her as a wet blanket/nag when she's pretty justified in not wanting DM messing with her inventions without her consent? Or does the show want to portray DM as foolish, irresponsible, and inconsiderate? Not the best look for the main character, is it? 》