#i still hide. every time things get stressful. i tuck myself into my bedroom. or the bathroom. i jam myself into the

[sorrowsofsilence]

Burning Out • V

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 9.9k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, mentions of drugs and alcohol (underage drinking mentioned during flashback!) Crime, pls don't do illegal things lol.

Authors note: Chapter Five- I Wish I wasn't Lost: its currently 1am and i am EXHAUSTED lol. I Do hope you enjoy though <3 Thank you for all the love and support on this story, I appreciate every single one of you <3 Songs are Lost in Echoes by Caskets and I wish I wasn't by unprocessed.

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY IN REAL LIFE! IT IS FICTION! IT IS JUST FOR FUN! <3

Tags: @crimson-calligraphyx @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken @princessmarshmallowx @laurpartyprogram @cookiesupplier @nojoyontheburn @lacktoesandtoddlerant @veronicaphoenix @er3nslovergirl @cncohshit @thescarlettvvitch @scrumptiousfestivalpost @melcchs @flowery-mess

This is an omen, a warning, a lesson to take So listen to the words that I say

I moaned as she slid down one more time and I gripped her hair, holding her still. I filled her tongue as threads of my release coated the back of her throat. The sight below me left my legs shaking as I pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ears, and rubbing my fingers underneath her chin in endearment.

What have I done?

“Good girls swallow,” I whispered and she moaned.

“Open,” I said, watching in complete reverence as she stuck out her tongue, showing me that she obeyed, drinking in all of me.

I leaned down towards her, pulling her chin up to kiss me as I melted into her lips, sighing with commitment.

What have I done?

+++++

NOAH

I wonder how How can it be that two souls live beneath my chest? I wander on Through the snowfall And the firestorm

One week passed.

I had robbed a few houses, but nothing was valuable enough to compare to the price of Y/N’s drugs. I barely made 4.5k, just enough to keep up my goal of 645 a day; and I was trying to think of another move I could make to get more.

I brought the money and log to one of D’s bitches, snarling at the satisfied look on the man’s face as he ripped the envelope from my hands.

‘Having fun Sebastian? Surprised you even made this much yourself.’ It took everything in me to walk away without bashing his fucking face in.

As each day passed I was being eaten alive by guilt, and I could barely look at Y/N. She noticed the shift in my behaviour, persistently asking me what was wrong and if she had done something.

‘Nothing,’ I would say.

‘Just stressed,’ I would say.

The last night we spent together was the night I stole her meds. I couldn’t sleep as she clung to my lying body, gentle breaths escaping her lips while she slept peacefully. I had sobbed quietly next to her, afraid to wake the candid woman that lay delicately beside deceit.

That next morning I told her I’d sleep in the spare bedroom across the hall, and the look she gave me was agonizing.

‘Oh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I know that the nightmares are hard to deal with.’ She had said, her eyes falling briefly before she attempted to hide her expression with a smile.

My heart yearned at her words, wanting to hold her against my chest, ready to block out all the evil in the world if it meant protecting her. It wasn’t the nightmares that pushed me away, it was myself.

‘I don’t want to invade your space more than I already am.’ I responded.

I watched her take her pills when she did, my chest clenching in shame with every sip of water that followed the lies.

I wish I wasn't afraid of The haunted valley

The boys watched the remorse control me as I began to shut off the world, secluding myself from Y/N, and them.

I wish I wasn't a failure That nobody needs

“Noah?”

In the depths of my mind, I'm lost and confined A question gnaws at my core; I can't deny

“Noah.” Am I a mere illusion, a ghost in the crowd? Or do I carry a soul screaming out loud?

“Noah!”

I pulled out my earbuds at the call of my name, and my eyes squinted open. Ruffilo stood over me as I lay on the mattress in the basement, drowning in lyrics. The music blared from the removed bud as Nicholas glared, folding his arms.

I wish the voices in my head stopped their shrill tongues Just for a second so I could breathe some fresh air For a moment so I could stop sinking into despair I am a traitor in the face of myself

“Did you want to work on the song?” He asked, “Or are you wallowing in self-pity?”

A slave to a maggot that eats away my soul I ask the mountains to consume me as a whole How long will I be captured in this maze in the hail?

The song.

Y/N had hooked us up with a gig at Sammy’s tomorrow night, and Jolly had the brilliant idea of finishing our first-ever set with an original song; despite us never even playing for an audience. I wasn’t sure if I was more nervous about playing some shitty music in front of an audience of strangers, or that one of the audience members would be Y/N.

I shrugged at him, closing my eyes as I sunk into the pillow, placing the bud back in my ear.

“Nuh-uh,” Nicholas sighed as he leaned down to pull on the string of one, forcing me to listen, “you can’t wallow forever.”

“Watch me,” I glared, pulling the bud back from him as I sat up.

“You’ve ignored her for days, can’t you see how sad she’s been because of you? You fucked up, and you’re treating her as if she did something wrong.” Nicholas said sharply, “How’s that fair?”

I turned my head to avoid his targeting gaze, my eyes falling onto Jolly and Folio who pretended to be busy but listened to every word we said.

“She’s brought you your regular coffee every day after work Noah- because you haven’t even been going there.”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as my head hung in shame. She has?

I rolled my head back “I know. None of it is fair to her.”

“So,” Nicholas began, sitting on a chair by one of the walls as he watched me with careful eyes, “Stop taking your guilt out on her.”

I exhaled swiftly, standing from the mattress and tossing my earbuds into the sheets, “I just- I can’t look at her without feeling like she can see right through me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” he questioned.

I scoffed, throwing my arm up as my frustration built, “Yes, it is because I stole her fucking pills and had to watch her swallow fake ones.” I began pacing around the room, shaking my head, “Pills that are supposed to be helping her, but are fabricated lies!”

Nicholas’ gaze followed me as I walked across the carpeted floor, eyebrows furrowed. Folio watched as well, his face falling. The guilt ate him too.

“She takes them thinking they’ll give her relief, but they don’t, and I took that away!” I stood still for a moment as I pushed the heel of my palms into my eyes, sighing audibly in conflict.

“You made a choice,” Nicholas stood up and I watched as he approached me, standing in front of me.

He peered into my eyes, a mix of anger and sorrow, “I hate seeing you like this Noah, but you fucked up.”

“I know I fucked up Nick,” My chest heaved as I began shaking. Nicholas wrapped his arms around me, squeezing my body gently.

“You need to tell her,” Nicholas said, placing a consoling hand on my shoulder.

I melted into his hug, holding my brother against me, “I can’t. Not yet, anyway.”

“So you’re just going to ignore her for weeks? Until everything with D is over?” Nicholas shook his head, “We live with her now. You won’t be able to avoid her, and you shouldn’t. Not after everything she’s done for you, for us.”

I pulled away from him, nodding in agreement, “I know; so I’ve been thinking…” I trailed off in thought.

“About?” Nicholas raised a brow.

“A pharmacy heist.”

“By yourself?” He watched me with amusement, “Are you crazy?”

I heard Jolly laugh in the corner and I quickly sent a glare in his direction.

“Of course I’m crazy,” I shrugged, “but I can get a fuck ton of money from this Vincent guy for getting pure shit.”

“Last time you did a big heist like that yourself was when we got into this mess in the first place. You don’t do big shit alone.”

+

The lights flickered around the room as I sat on the motel bed, my chest heaving with excitement. A seventeen-year-old Ruffilo sat beside me with the tattoo machine ready to brand my knuckles as twelve-year-old Folio watched eagerly.

“Today’s the day,” Jolly cheered, a wide smile stretching across his face as he threw a beer in my direction, “Our young padawan becomes a man.”

The can fumbled between my fingers as I looked down at it proudly, jittering with thrill. Jolly’s never let me drink before.

I opened the can in acceptance, hesitant to take the first sip with shaky hands, before bringing it up to my mouth. The beer was pungent and bitter, my lips puckering with furrowed brows; yeah, it was disgusting.

I tried to hide my distaste with a weak smile, “Yum.”

Jolly laughed, throwing his head back in amusement.

“You might want to chug it,” He said, taking a sip of his own beverage, “the knuckles hurt like a bitch.”

My eyes danced between him and the can as Nicholas and Nick began chanting, “Noah, Noah, Noah!”

Jolly joined with a raised fist, smiling with admiration as I chugged the drink, throwing the can to the floor in excitement as I stomped on it, the scream of elation ripping through my lungs as we all laughed. Nicholas hollered as he grabbed my shoulders, shaking me and I grinned, living within this moment of adventure.

“You ready?” Nicholas said, raising a quizzical brow as I began to feel the buzz. I nodded eagerly, throwing my hands in front of the table placed next to the bed.

Nicholas slid plastic gloves over his own tatted fingers before he wiped my knuckles with an alcohol wipe.

“There’s no going back,” He smiled as I sucked in a breath, anticipating the familiar scratching of the needle as it embedded the letters into my skin.

“Happy fourteenth birthday, baby bro,” Jolly walked over to me, patting my back. He handed me a crumbled paper bag, and with my free hand, I reached inside excitedly, pulling out the fabric.

I bit my lip as I tried to hide my smile but couldn’t. I was finally one of them.

“Your first mask.” Jolly nodded in approval. I tried pulling it over my head but couldn’t with one hand, so Jolly reached over, pulling it down over my face.

He bent down in front of me, his hand on top of my head as he shook me with fondness and it took everything in me not to cry with happiness at his praise.

That evening Nicholas wrapped my knuckles with black tape, protecting the freshly wounded skin. He went over the plan with Jolly, pointing towards the map indicating where I was to go, and where I would meet them after.

“This garage is filled with fancy as fuck cars,” Jolly nodded, leaning over the table, “so you have options. Don’t settle for any car, but don’t linger too long.”

“Remember, Kia’s and Hyundai’s are easier to hotwire, so you’ll have better luck getting in and out,” Nicholas said and I nodded as I jumped up and down, amping myself up.

“The alarms will go off almost immediately once you break in. People in this hotel get that shit valet, so someone is bound to notice right away.”

“Don’t forget, one, Underneath the steering wheel column find the wiring harness connector, Two,Pull aside the battery, ignition, and starter wire bundle, Three, Strip about 1 inch of the battery wires and twist them together. Fourth, Connect the ignition on/off wire to the battery wire.” Jolly listed and I nodded with each of his commands, reciting them back, “And don’t forget to break the steering lock or you won’t be able to drive.”

“Wire bundle, trip and twist, ignition to the battery,” I repeated, “Steering lock.”

+

“Well, I have no choice,” I threw my arms up, laughing, “What, you want me to ask Y/N then?”

Ask Y/N…

“No but-” Jolly started, but I interrupted him. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. She could be a diversion. A distraction in the plan.

“Y/N could be an extra body, and perhaps…” I trailed off, my mind wandering in thought. Yes, this was crazy; and the idea that followed even more so…but perhaps it could work.

“Okay,” Nicholas said as anger started bubbling from his tone as he watched me with disbelief, “And?”

“And,” I grabbed his shoulder as a smile wound up on my lips, “I can steal Y/N’s prescription while I’m there, and then replace her meds. So, she’ll never know.”

Nicholas rolled his head back in annoyance, almost laughing at my words, “Dude, you’re just going to dig yourself a hole here. You can’t be serious. Just tell her the truth about the fucking pills rather than getting her more involved.”

“I will eventually,” I sighed, “Just not now.”

“You do know how hard it is to steal from businesses alone versus a few houses here and there?” Jolly said as he scribbled in his notebook, “What is Y/N going to be able to do? Other than putting her and you in danger?”

“I have a plan,” I said, as I started pacing around the room.

“You’re considering her help? Are you fucking insane?” Jolly’s mouth hung open, “Du är en riktig klydderöv.” (You are an ass who likes to make things harder than they are)

“Listen,” I held my hands up in defence, but Nicholas threw his arms up.

“You can’t be serious; she could get hurt! You’re just using her?” he seethed.

“And you guys aren’t?” I laughed, pointing to the guitars and motioned around the room, “We are fucking freeloaders.”

“Aren't you worried about her getting injured?Caught? Better yet, Arrested?” Nick asked through clenched teeth. Why did he care so much?

“Of course I fucking am!” I growled, trying to not let any more guilt eat away at my insides, “I just want to have her as an extra body for that bit of fear factor. I don’t want her doing anything upfront or dangerous.”

“That’s still dangerous!” Nicholas exclaimed, “The fact she will be in that situation in the first place is not a good idea.”

I nodded in agreement, “I know. But what other choice do I have right now?” My eyes danced past each of the boys.

I knew this wasn’t the best idea, but my options were slim. I wanted to continue whatever was going on with Y/N- I didn’t want to feel this guilt, and if I was being honest with myself…

I was scared.

I was scared she wouldn’t see past my deceit, and I was scared she would hate me. That she wouldn’t forgive me.

I knew I had to make up for everything that had happened, but the first step was getting her proper medication back.

And to do that, I needed her help.

I wonder how How can it be that two souls live beneath my chest? I wander on Through the snowfall And the firestorm

“Let’s work on the song,” Folio changed the subject as the room heated, and I sighed heavily.

“Yeah, whatever,” I sat back on the mattress, pulling up the lyrics I wrote on my phone.

“Whatcha got Noah?” Jolly asked as he picked up the guitar.

“You've run out of luck, and I'm calling your bluff You stabbed me in the back, but not deep enough But not deep enough I see through you.” I hummed.

Jolly nodded as he tried to match the chords.

“Then the chorus, yada yada,” I said, eyes scanning my device as my thumb scrolled the screen.

“You said I'd never make it, you said I'd fall on my face But now I'm right where I belong, and I put you in your place You said I'd never make it, you said I'd make a mistake But now I'm right where I belong, and you've got nothing to say.”

Jolly eyed me briefly with a slight glare as I spoke, and I avoided his eyes.

“I like it,” Nicholas said, plucking the bass.

+++++

Y/N

With my fingers wrapped around the paper coffee cup, I sighed, fiddling with my keys to open the front door to my house.

Noah’s sudden distance made my chest clench in worry.

“look at me, show me those pretty eyes while I fuck your mouth,” he demanded and my lashes flicked up toward him, his body shuddering as I stared into him with complete greed.

The last time we spoke was that night. Noah hasn’t come to the cafe, and he has barely been home. I chalked it up to him being busy paying back D, but I couldn’t help but feel slightly broken, and that it was my fault for his distance.

Doubt ate at my insides, beginning to regret inviting them into my home.

I wish I wasn't afraid of The haunted valley I wish I wasn't a failure

Maybe Noah saw how unwell I was, after the nightmare. Maybe this whole situation made him uncomfortable. I made him uncomfortable.

That nobody needs That nobody needs That nobody needs

I’m sure he heard the nights I woke up screaming, and I can’t lie about how my heart broke when he wasn’t the one running into my room in concern. Not that he had to.

Nicholas however, was there in a heartbeat.

The boys were easy to live with, and I had a few game nights with Nick, Jolly and Nicholas. We got along surprisingly well, and I became quite close to Nicholas these past few days.

He must have noticed my inner battle because he often reassured me when I came home between shifts, running down to the basement with a coffee to greet Noah; only to be left disappointed when he wasn’t there.

“Hey,” Nicholas had waved, his gaze falling when he saw the coffee in my hands.

“Not home?” I asked, giving him a sad smile.

“No… I don’t know where he is either.”

I shared a curt nod before turning around to run back up the stairs.

“Y/N?” Nicholas called out before I took the first step up.

I stopped, sucking in a breath before sighing, “Did- did I do something wrong?” I asked, turning to look at him briefly.

Nicholas shook his head quickly, “No! No, of course not. You’ve done nothing but be kind to us.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m the problem? Did I scare him away?”

Nicholas’ shoulders dropped as he patted the seat on the couch next to him, pulling me into his side. I rested my head on his shoulder as he rubbed my arm warmly.

“Noah is a difficult creature,” He said, “But I haven’t seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

I sniffed, “Then why is he ignoring me?”

Nicholas stiffened at the question, and I tried to shrug it off, but I knew that he knew.

“I- he’s going through it. This is a lot of money for him to get himself, without any help.”

I pulled away from his hug, “I just wish he would let me help.”

I closed the door behind me, smiling down at Juice as he greeted me. I heard someone puttering in the kitchen and assumed it was Nicholas.

“Hey, Ruffilo-” I shouted, slipping off my shoes and prancing into the kitchen. I immediately gasped in surprise when it was not Ruffilo, but Noah, who sat at the table munching on a grilled cheese. Our eyes locked as we silently exchanged words, and my breath hitched in my throat. Why did I feel so nervous?

“Oh- hey-” my face flushed as I stood in place, staring at him for a moment too long, before bowing my head to pass him in anxiety. My heart immediately hammered, everything in me wanting to stare at his perfect smile or the way his long hair sculpted his face.

“Hey,” he said gently, his gaze burning into me as I placed my bag on the counter, taking in a nervous breath. I placed the coffee for him on the counter as I grabbed a cup from the cupboard and filled it with water. Anything to distract myself from his presence.

“How are you?” He asked, still staring at me with intensity. I hesitated before I turned around, my back pressed against the counter as I let my eyes wander to his own. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was suddenly talking to me after days of distance. Part of me wanted to walk away.

“Uh,” I took a slow sip, the cool liquid a poor attempt at slicing through the tension that built between us, “Good. And you?”

He watched the cup that touched my lips, eyes skimming over the glass my fingers wrapped around before he hesitated, as if afraid to speak the words that left his mouth.

“I’m okay.” He began, trailing off before looking away, eyes fixated on the ground, “I’ve missed you.”

My heart raced at his confession, my shoulders falling gently with the relief at his words. Part of me wanted to scoff, part of me wanted to hold him and succumb to his touch. Did he really miss me, or was he just feeling guilty for being MIA the past few days? But nonetheless, the way my breath hitched in nervousness told me how excited I was to see him.

“I got you your coffee…” I said softly in response as I turned and handed him the cup, unsure what else to say. Our fingers touched delicately as we passed the drink, and my arm buzzed as butterflies spiralled through my body, reminiscent of the day we met.

He gave me a small smile, thanking me shyly, but I could tell that something else was on his mind as he took a sip.

It was silent for a moment as more unspoken words danced between us.

“I’ve missed you too,” I confessed quietly as my cheeks warmed, and I began playing with my fingers nervously.

Noah’s ears flushed with colour as he genuinely smiled, “Let me take you out tonight.”

“I- I have work,” I stammered, excitement replaced with disappointment.

“Call in. Let me take you on a date.” He shook his head as he took another sip, refusing to let down.

“I can’t afford to call in,” I gave him a sad smile, “But I would love to go out with you this weekend when I’m free?”

“I’ll give you the money then,” He stood up now, grabbing the glass from my hands before pulling my palms into his grasp, “Just let me treat you.”

His October eyes begged as they bore into me, trying to read my mind. I looked away, trying not to succumb to his silent plea but instead I smiled, looking at our connected hands. Why was he suddenly being this way?

“Stop looking at me like that,” I laughed.

“Like what?” He teased, before sticking out his bottom lip, packing on the puppy dog eyes.  

“Like that!” I giggled, and Noah tugged on my arms, pulling them so they were wrapped around his body as he buried me in his chest.

I sunk into his arms in alleviation as we swayed in the kitchen to the beat of our hearts.

Part of me wanted to pull away, tempted to see if he would bring me back. The other part of me wanted to berate him for his attitude. Part of me wanted him to take me against the kitchen table. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment together.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant,” Noah whispered now, his voice vibrating from his chest as my cheek was pressed against his soft cotton t-shirt. I nodded against him in response, squeezing his torso as I closed my eyes, my mind beginning to overthink everything that’s happened between us.

I finally sucked in a breath, hesitant to ask, “Did I do something wrong?”

Noah immediately pulled me from his chest to look me in the eyes with a sullen expression, his hands cupping either side of my face, “You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re perfect.”

My eyes began to glaze over as my mind eased a little, and I chuckled softly, “Definitely not perfect.”

“Definitely are,” He whispered, hesitating once more before his broken eyes began analyzing my own. He made me feel like I had no reason to think he was lying. He made me feel perfect.

Noah watched me carefully before his eyes closed briefly. He sucked in a breath, hesitating, “I- I think there’s something wrong with me. I’m so lost right now.”

“I hope you know you can talk to me,” I matched his tone, my head tilting in empathy as we stood in the kitchen, holding each other. My fingers gripped onto the fabric of his shirt as I pulled him into another hug, embracing all his insecurities.

“I know,” He sighed, before masking his sorrows with a smile.

“Please come out with me,” He pulled away and pleaded again, the pad of his thumb beginning to graze across my cheekbone before tracing the outline of my lips, “I want to spend time with you. I want to hear your story.”

I smiled at his words, my breath catching in my throat as we watched each other, completely mesmerized as my eyes travelled across the outline of his ochre eyes. The slight stubble outlined his perfect lips that wrapped around the whites of his teeth as he smiled charmingly, and it left my palms sweating.

“You know plenty about me now,” He said gently, concentrated eyes devouring me, “So who are you?”

Subconsciously I began leaning in closer to his touch, our lips inches apart, “Why are you so convincing?” I whispered, the warmth of Noah’s breath cascading along my face.

“Ahem.”

I turned immediately at the cough, and Noah pulled away from me, staring back at the ground. I looked between him and Ruffilo, who stood leaning against the wall, watching Noah with analytical eyes.

“Hi, ruffles!” I then smiled warmly, confused at his interruption but happy to see him. He acknowledged me briefly, nodding in my direction before glaring daggers towards the brunette.

“A date?” Nicholas frowned as he folded his arms with an accusatory tone.

Noah shot back a look and my eyes flickered between the two of them, squinting in confusion.

Noah shook his head, turning his back towards us, “it’s none of your business.”

“It’s all my business now.” Nicholas stood up, standing next to me in defence.

My brows furrowed and I took a step back from Ruffilo, “Ok, what the fuck is going on?”

Ruffilo’s face contorted as a quick cynical laugh left his lips, scoffing at the brunette in front of him, “You didn’t ask her where you really want to take her out?”

Noah ran a hand over his face, “I was getting there.”

I looked between them again before my eyes landed on Noah, turning my head to the side, “Take me… where?”

Noah licked his lips in thought before turning to me, “I need your help.”

+

“Y/N hurry up!” Kiean yelled, his blonde curls bouncing underneath his black hood as he threw the canvas duffle bag towards me, placing his gun between his waistband. He ran behind the counter, typing on the keyboard of the desk computer frantically.

The alarms blared between the walls as I hastily tried to listen to the clicks of the safe, my heart racing as adrenaline rushed through me, my hands sweating beneath the leather gloves.

My breath quickened beneath the full white masquerade mask, the moisture building between the plastic and my skin, causing my chest to heave.

In a matter of minutes, the police would arrive and a shoot-out would begin.

‘k-12 to k-11’, Kean screamed over his walkie, my senses completely overloaded as the mixture of sounds rang through my ears.

‘k-11 to k-12, over.’

‘status of the doors?’

I looked away from the safe briefly towards the glass front doors, watching as the other masked figures held the rifles pointed towards the blocked exterior. I turned back as I anxiously flicked between the code, seconds being wasted the longer I failed to open it.

‘blocked.’ the voice responded.

‘hostages?’ Kiean asked.

‘detained.’

My eyes flickered towards the hunched bodies sitting on the floor, covering themselves in defence as they shook with fear. Another group of men with guns stood above them, shoving the rifle into the skin of a woman who mouthed back, creating an echo of screams as one of them fired the gun.

I closed my eyes, wishing to wake up from this nightmare.

But it was real.

“Is that fucking safe open yet?”

My blood ran cold as a shiver ran through my spine, the voice of my bad decision stopping my fingers mid-turn.

A gloved hand gripped the back of my neck and I looked up at the mask that mirrored my own, the only skin was his piercing green eyes that glared at me, filled with outrage. My lungs could no longer suck in oxygen as I gasped for a breath, desperate.

“You have ten fucking seconds to open it before I blow your goddamn brains out you pathetic piece of shit.”

His fingers dug into my neck as tears threatened to spill from my eyes as I watched back in horror, trying to nod underneath his grasp.

“Kade!” Kiean growled, “Fuck off!”

Kade looked back at me with disgust for a moment longer before he let me go, and I finally felt like I could briefly breathe.

I used to love his green eyes.

++

I sat on the edge of my bed as I hung up the phone with my boss, telling him I came down with food poisoning. Classic excuse.

I picked up the plastic mask as the pads of my fingers grazed over the years of shame associated with it, as my mind replayed the memory from my past.

Noah knew bits and pieces of my story, but he didn’t know the full reason why I left my old life behind.

I was scared to tell him; even though I knew he would probably still accept me; I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him yet.

I think I lost my mind Everything I knew came falling down Anything I build comes crashing down

I was trying to leave my old life behind…but I knew I was experienced enough to help him.

However, I knew that this was going to tie me right back to those I left. If I helped him, I would be stuck in the never-ending loop again. They would find me.

I'm pleading, "God, not now" Save me from my sins before I leave Free me from the weight so I can breathe

But for some reason, I was willing to do anything for Noah.

Why?

I was clearly fucking crazy.

The more I fool myself The more I feel it creeping in I think I lost my mind again

+++++

NOAH

Y/N and I agreed to go tonight.

I was scared to ask her, especially after Ruffilo confronted us. I did genuinely want to take her out on a date. I wanted to spend time with her.

But I did need her help.

I explained the plan of the heist and she agreed surprisingly quickly. The look she gave me left me confused. I was expecting some pushback, but she just sucked in a breath, lost in her mind for a moment before nodding and telling me she needed to grab a few things.

Her reaction was strange; almost as if she was conflicted. Was she conflicted between morals, knowing what she was doing was illegal? Or was there something else?

I sent a text to Vincent, telling him I’d meet him right after the heist to sell the drugs, right around midnight.

“See you then, Sebastian. Same spot.”

Hope ran through my veins as the plans fell into place, and I grabbed my backpack and gear, before running up the stairs to Y/N’s room.

I knocked as I pushed open the door, her eyes flickering up towards me before backing down at the mask she had resting in her palms. It was a simple white plastic party mask; the black masquerade design spiralling around the eyes.

I eyed her tentatively as she continued to stare at the mask. She flipped it around and my eyes narrowed as I analyzed the pattern. I swear I’ve seen this mask before, but I couldn’t place a finger on from were.

“Do you want one of my masks?” I asked, sitting next to her on the mattress, assessing the plastic she traced her fingers with, as if recalling a memory.

She took a shaky breath as she declined, turning to face me and giving me a curt smile, “This one work fine.”

I watched as Y/N’s shoulders began to shake in what I assumed was nervousness, and I placed a hand on hers that held the mask, “You don’t have to do this with me.”

She jumped lightly at my touch, leaving me confused before pulling away.

“I told you I’d help you, Noah,” she said as she stood up, walking to her desk and grabbing her own backpack.

Y/N pulled out a walkie-talkie from the fabric, tossing me one. I raised a brow as I caught it, staring at the machine.

“When did you get these?” I asked, almost laughing at the tactile equipment. This was a high-tech radio, something that surprised me she owned.

She shrugged, eying me once more before zipping up her backpack, “A long time ago. I’ll give one to the boys too so we can communicate. They can keep track on the sidelines.”

I hummed in response as I placed it inside the pocket of my cargo pants. I watched as Y/N paced around the room, grabbing various items before turning to face me.

“Are you wearing a change of clothes underneath the black?” She asked me, her serious expression sending shivers down my spine.

I turned my head to the side as I stood up from her bed, “No… should I be?”

She nodded, raising a brow as if I was stupid, “Yes, and bring another hat.”

I gave her a curious glance but obeyed, crossing the hall to the spare bedroom to grab another set of clothes.

Once we gathered everything, we stood at the front door, prepared to leave. Ruffilo stood waiting by the stairs, folded arms analyzing us before he went up to Y/N, giving her a tight hug before moving to me.

“You guys stay safe. I’ll be tracking you.” He gave us a curt nod, sighing as he glanced at Y/N in worry.

“Please keep your phone and my laptop on next to you. Remember the password is Juice.” Y/N said to Nicholas, and he nodded, giving her a thumbs up.

“Why?” I asked her, staring down at her, slightly in surprise. I didn’t know her and Nicholas were as close as they were.  

“You never know when you need backup.” She smiled, the worry dancing behind her eyes causing my own anxiety to spark.

We gave each other a nod before waving to Nicholas, leaving through the front door. The crisp air slapped me in the face, waking me up to the reality that this was really happening: that Y/N was going to be with me. Was this really a good idea?

We got into the van, me in the driver’s seat and Y/N in the passengers.

“So,” Y/N began as I pulled out from the curb, driving down the street, “I’ve never been to this pharmacy, and I have no idea how many cameras there are.”

“Folio said that there shouldn’t be any inside since this place is pretty old, but I believe that there are two outside,” I replied, turning down the music in the car.

Y/N nodded, “Well then, we definitely should park on Twelfth Ave, so we are far enough from cameras around the pharmacy.”

I hummed in response, sucking in a breath. Her analysis and knowledge surprised me, “You seem to know what you’re talking about.”

She glanced over at me briefly before staring out the window, watching the city pass by, “I’ve seen movies.”

I chuckled, fingers tightening around the wheel, somehow not satisfied with the answer, “I guess so.”

We sat in silence for the majority of the ride, soft music from the radio tuning out the silence. As we approached Twelfth Ave, I parked alongside the road.

“Ready?” I said, glancing at her.

Y/N hummed as she peered out the window, looking for cameras before giving me a nod.

“We’re good. Masks on before we get out.”

I laughed, cocking my head to the side, “Isn’t this my mission?”

She smiled at me, “Of course; but you asked for my help.”

“Touche,” I slipped the fabric over my head as I pulled my hood over. The car doors slammed shut and we began walking down the sidewalk, Y/N’s hands now governed with gloves.

“Walkie is set to channel 14?” She asked me, double checking hers before clipping it to her belt.

“Yes,” I chuckled, reassuring her with a glance.

Y/N nodded, walking ahead of me quickly, “Ok. Before we hit the 13th street we need to check for more cameras, especially on the buildings across the street. Then scope out a place we can hide behind to change once we’re done.”

I blinked rapidly her knowledge of this surprised me, leaving me innately curious. I trailed behind her, following her commands. We hit 13th Ave and I watched Y/N as she scanned the brick that surrounded us, pointing to a camera across the street.

“That one will already have seen us. We can’t continue-” she said, her breath hitching in her throat.

I pulled her body back, turning her to face me. “What-”

“Let me finish,” She cut me off, heavy breathing erupting from behind the mask, “I need to call Nicholas.”

The woman next to me pulled out her phone, dialling Ruffilo’s number. Y/N grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side between two buildings, holding the phone close to her ear as the bricks sheltered us.

“Hey, Ruffles.” She whispered, “yea everything’s ok. I need help with the cameras, so I need you to get my laptop.”

I watched her with curiosity, listening to every word.

“Login to my computer and click the blue app on my desktop, the one with the eye- yes- yes that one.”

She glanced at me before staring at the ground, “Password is Kade. K-A-D-E. Capitals.”

Kade?

Y/N held the phone closer to her ear, frantically beginning to pace, “OK, now I need you to type the address of Noah’s tracker into the box on the bottom. Grey box.”

What the hell was she doing?

I watched her with furrowed brows. This was some spy level shit and I had no idea how or why she knew this; but something was telling me I don’t know as much about Y/N as I thought.

“Yes, the IP. Include the zeros. Then click the red icon that will pop up on the right.”

“It’s asking for another password.” I could hear Nicholas on the other side of Y/N’s phone faintly.

“Try Kiean. K-I-E-A-N.”

“Nope.”

Y/N was silent for a moment, and I watched as her chest heaved beneath her black zip-up. She hesitated for a moment, as if the words were unable to escape her lips, “Try- try my name and the date 06-13.”

“Yeah, that worked. Now what?”

June 13?

I peered at Y/N’s eyes through her mask, tears welling up along her eyelids, “OK, c-click the box that should have popped up. You’re going to need to enter this code…ready?”

I heard Nick hum and Y/N began spitting out random letters and numbers, “qqp;//0-0-0:879230/live.”

“Then put in Noah’s IP, and then continue with ‘.off/GO113MODULE=shutdown.”

What the fuck?

“Ok. That did something?”

“Did a timer pop up?” Y/N asked hastily, before eying me.

“Yeah- it says 7 minutes and it’s counting down.”

“Call me when two minutes are remaining.” Y/N hung up the phone before grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the ally towards the pharmacy.

“The cameras are down. We have seven minutes to get in and get out; maybe even less before the alarms signal the cops.”

I had so many questions, but all I could do was watch her with complete confusion, but also awe.

We reached the pharmacy door, and I pulled out a crowbar from my back, hinging it between the wood. I struggled for a moment, my teeth gritting as I pulled on the door.

“Push don’t pull. It’s faster.” Y/N mumbled, and I did as she said, the door popping open within seconds.

“How the fuck do you-”

She ignored my response and walked past me as the deafening alarm began echoing through the street from the pharmacy. My adrenaline began to spike as I rushed in and scoped the shelves before aimlessly grabbing things off the shelves hastily and throwing them into the extra backpack I brought. I began to make my way to the back of the building where the prescriptions would be, rushing along the wooden floor.

My heart pounded as the alarm rang, signalling the short amount of time we had to be in and out.

Y/N followed suit and I watched as she swiftly jumped over the counter, swinging herself between the shelves. She crouched next to me, pulling various boxes and pills off their designated spaces before shovelling them into her bag.

“You fucking know what you’re doing,” I yelled over the ringing alarm, throwing bottles left and right, trying to be as fast as possible.

Y/N glanced at me as she continued to shove random items into her backpack, turning away to ignore my question.

I leaned over, grabbing her arm as she grabbed a bubble pack of pills, “You don’t know this from movies. The fucking camera hacking? What the hell?” I knew now wasn’t the time for an interrogation; but I couldn’t help myself.

“Can you shut up?” She seethed through her teeth, eyes squinting at me angrily, “Now is not the time Noah, the cops will probably be here any minute. You’re wasting time worrying about me when you should be worried about the money.”

She ripped her arm away from me, walking to the other side of the counter, towards the register. I watched her in disbelief as she then went to pop open the register with a crowbar, grabbing the cash that lay amidst it.  

I shook my head in a mix of mistrust and admiration. Maybe taking her was a good idea after all.

Her phone rang and we looked at each other, her eyes hallowing beneath the mask, “Two minutes till the cameras are on, we need to go,” She yelled, her voice raw over the sound of the alarm.

I nodded briefly before I remembered one of the sole reasons we were here; to grab her meds.

“Wait-” I hollered, turning around. Diazepam, Adderall, Zolpidem.

My eyes flicked through the shelves, desperately searching. Adderall. Check. Diazepam. Check.

“Noah!” Y/N screamed, standing at the door, throwing her arms up. Amongst the store alarm, I could hear sirens whaling in the distance, signalling their justice.

“Wait- fuck!” I yelled, anxiously searching the last section. My gloved hand ran along the shelf as my heart hammered in anticipation, before I landed on Zolpidem. Check. Y/N stood by the door, head swinging between me and outside, peaking around the corner to watch for cops.

Grabbing my bag I hopped over the counter, slightly tripping over the mess we created but caught myself. Sprinting out of the store I grabbed Y/N’s arm, dragging her with me.

My ears still rang as we ran, and Y/N began pushing into me.

“Here,” She pushed into my side, leading us between an alleyway further down the street.

“Strip,” she comanded as she exhaled heavily, throwing her hood off her head and mask off onto the ground hastily, as if peeling it away in disgust.

“Can’t wait till we get home?” I tried to laugh, and she glared in my direction, unamused given the state of haste we were in. As my smile faded, I barely noticed her tear-stained cheeks as she took off her hoodie, pulling a pink one out of her bag. She threw on a pair of sweatpants over her shorts that were beneath her jeans and knelt to slip on a pair of white Converse.

I followed suit, throwing off my attire quickly before slipping into a pair of black and white shorts, along with a white hoodie. As I threw on my vans and hopped to get my foot inside, I shoved everything back into my bag.

The sirens got closer, the red and blue lights reflecting down the buildings at the end of the street. We began to panic and once she was ready, I grabbed Y/N’s hand with my sweaty one, pulling her with me down the alley. I looked up and down the brick towards the end before finding a ladder, pulling on it to test its strength and hopping up, beginning to climb.

Y/N followed below and once we reached the top we stood on the roof for a moment. She watched me before I began to run. The rocks that layered the top of the roof crunched beneath my feet as I bolted, my head snapping back as I kept looking behind me to check Y/N was still following, making sure she was ok.

We reached the edge of the roof, and I scoped the scene. Although we were surrounded by buildings, I wasn’t sure where to go from here. The sirens still echoed as they flashed from below, anticipating us to decide quickly. I looked below, noticing a ladder and ledge attached to another building. We would have to jump to make it, but it looked doable.

“Do you trust me?” I asked, breathless, looking down at her. The moon light cascaded delicate shadows along her frame, leaving me captivated. As her beautiful E/C eyes looked back at me, she held out her hand, complete commitment radiating through her.

“Always,” She whispered back, squeezing my fingers. I smiled at her and looked ahead, preparing to jump.

“Follow me,” I squeezed her hand in encouragement before letting go, and she nodded.

I stood on the edge of the building, my eyes flickering over the ladder as I sucked in a breath, ready to push myself off the ledge. I jumped, the air sliding between my limbs briefly before I caught myself on the metal. I sighed heavily, looking up at Y/N and giving her a thumbs up.

She hesitated for a moment, looking down at the ground below. I watched as her gaze analyzed everything; and before fear could take over, I encouraged her.

“You can do it, I believe in you,” I said, and she nodded, her body swaying with the wind before throwing herself off the stone and landing next to me.

We walked across the ledge before reaching the end, and I looked at the ground below.

“Ok, we can swing off that pipe and then onto the top of the dumpster. Then we run,” I said, preparing to jump again.

She let out a puff of air, “Parkour?” She laughed.

“Easy,” I matched her tone, letting out an anxious chuckle, “Just watch me.”

I walked across the pipe, holding my hands out to distribute my weight and keep my balance until I was above the dumpster below. Kneeling, I then made sure I had a tight grip before dropping my body, so I was hanging from the piece of metal.

I took a deep breath before letting go, bending my knees to catch my fall on the plastic lid.

Y/N did the same, but as she hung on the pipe, she closed her eyes, afraid to drop.

“C’mon princess,” I praised, “I’ll catch you.”

She scrunched her face in thought before letting go, and I caught her, pulling her close against my body. I hugged her briefly, wanting to hang onto her forever; but we still had a job to do.

We slid off the dumpster onto the cold pavement, and I grabbed her hand, holding her as we then made a sprint toward the van. Our footsteps rang along the cement, adrenaline pushing me more than caffeine ever could. At this moment, I felt alive with Y/N next to me.

We approached the van with our chests rising and falling, pulling ourselves into the dirty grey fabric seats, and locking the doors. As we sat in the car not speaking, the only sounds being our heavy breathing, I peeked over at Y/N, who then turned to face me.

With flush cheeks, her eyes trailed along my gaze, before a wide smile grew upon her face, “Fucking hell.”

She laughed, and I mirrored her, the grin on my face expressing my devotion to this woman.

“I can’t believe we pulled that off.” I laughed, coughing as my throat dried with thirst, and rested my forehead onto the steering wheel.

Our laughs died out and I turned to face her.

“Yeah,” She watched me again, but her smile began to fall, “we did it.”

“How did you-” I began, wanting to begin asking questions, but she cut me off immediately.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” She curtly responded, completely beginning to shut down as the adrenaline wore off. Her eyes remained fixated straight ahead and I watched her in confusion and concern, millions of questions racing through my mind.

What was wrong? And how does she know so much?

“Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it,” I began as I started the car, revving the engine gently before pulling out, “but what you did back there was more than even I could do. All the boys.”

Y/N remained silent, turning her body away from me.

“You’ve done this before.”

Y/N’s head snapped toward me, “Noah,” She warned, my name leaving her lips angrily.

I stared at her, licking my lips in annoyance, but dropping the subject, “We need to visit someone before we head back.”

She swallowed harshly, nodding in silence.

My mind raced as I drove. Y/N definitely hasn’t been honest about her past. I swear I’ve seen that mask before; and I know for a fact that she’s had to have done a heist in the past or some shit. She was experienced… and who the fuck was Kiean?

Thoughts invaded my mind and once we were close to the pier I stopped abruptly before an allyway.

I turned off the engine, grabbing my mask.

“Put your mask on,” I said, and she nodded, reaching into her bag. I watched as she placed the mask on top of her face and I followed with my own, before we pulled the hoodies over our heads once again. I waited for Y/N to get out of the car, watching carefully as she closed the door.

I quickly grabbed her replacement meds from my bag, sliding them into the glovebox before grabbing both our backpacks. I slid out of the car, walking next to her.

I leaned over, whispering, “Stay behind me, don’t say anything,” and Y/N nodded, trailing behind me as we walked down into the alleyway.

It was quiet, the only sound was our footsteps and distant traffic. I stopped Y/N with my arm before we walked any further down the cement, waiting.

Y/N breathed heavily, and seconds later we heard him.

“Sebastian!” Vincent’s voice boomed through the brick walls.

I cautiously kept my distance as he turned the corner, exposing himself. He walked towards us and was flipping a coin between his fingers, tilting his head slightly as his eyes immediately latched onto Y/N. She stood behind me, almost hidden.

“a friend?” His voice raised slightly in question.

I held out my arm to hold her behind me, but Y/N pushed past my defence and stepped beside me.

Vincent immediately stopped flipping his coin once she was exposed, his eyes flashing with recognition as he stared straight past me, eyes locked onto the masked girl. He was fixated on her. My stomach churned at the way he stared, completely lost in a trance.

I looked at Y/N briefly and she stared back, shoulders heaving.

A deep chuckle radiated through his chest before he spoke, his words leaving me confused.

“We live in a twilight world.”

Y/N stiffened beside me, silent for a moment before responding.

“And there are no friends at dusk.”

I turned to her in complete confusion. The interaction between them building tension so thick I could cut it with a knife. My mind began to race.

She knows him. He knows her.

But how?

The mask.

Vincent looked away from their eye contest first, the shine of his grillz radiating once he smiled at me.

“What do you have for me? Other than an oh-so-riveting friend.”

I ignored his question regarding Y/N as I slid the backpack off my back. I opened it toward him, revealing the dozens of pill bottles.

“Quite the haul,” Vincent laughed, a low whistle escaping his lips, “but I didn’t come quite prepared with that much money.”

I tried hiding my disappointment, “Then what can I give you?”

“I brought the same amount as last week,” He said, nodding towards the bag, “Got any more of that Adderall you got me? and the zolpidem and diazepam?”

Don't worry, I'll be lost in echoes Be laughing on my own It's tragic, but it's the only life I know (Only life I know)

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes began to widen, and I stared at him.

“From whatever that name was- Y-N? Something?”

My body froze, immediately afraid to look in her direction. From my peripheral, I saw her remain perfectly still. Too still.

What should I do, what should I be? (I'm at a turning point right now) I'm so full of rage, too blind to see

“Uh- n-no.” I stammered, taking a step back as I avoided Y/N’s gaze,  “I have a few opioids.”

Vincent shrugged, smiling, “Ah sounds good.”

I looked at the bag as my hands began to shake.

“I’ll take those today for twenty-five hundred. But uh, bring the others next time. They sold great. I’ll offer thirty-five hundred,” Vincent said, reaching into the bag to assess some of the bottles.

I swallowed harshly as I nodded, “Yea- I’ll get some of those.”

Vincent whipped out his testing kid, assessing each of the bags and bottles before pulling out the cash.

“Pleasure doing business with ya, Sebastian.” He nodded as he placed the bundle into my gloved fingers, licking his lips before smiling towards Y/N.

He watched her tauntingly,"I'll See You At The Beginning, Friend."

Y/N only gave him a small nod, silently and swiftly turning around, walking back towards the car.

As I watched her leave, I then glanced at Vincent one more time who watched curiously.

“See you,” I said in a conflicted tone, before jogging after the girl who was now gone from the alleyway.

Y/N was already sitting in the car with the mask thrown onto the dashboard, staring down at her lap in complete emptiness.

I got into the driver’s seat, too afraid to say anything once I saw how she collapsed.

The words that then left her lips sounded broken, strained, and defeated. “I trusted you.”

My heart pounding in agony as she fixated on her lap with disappointed eyes. I swallowed harshly, panicking. As my heart hammered the only question that left my mouth was Why.

I wanted to blame her as if it was her fault for trusting me. As if she’s the one who made me steal her drugs. Part of me wanted to grab her shoulders and shake some sense into her, my body fighting the urge to shame her for being so kind.

The more I fool myself The more I feel it creeping in I think I lost my mind again

“Why would you trust a criminal like me?”

As soon as the question left my lips I had sunk into the seat of the car, shame taking over. I was never meant to be the good guy.

The more I start to fall The more I don't see me at all I think I lost my mind again

Her eyes fell as she grew small, suddenly insecure, “B-because?” She stuttered, “You’re not a bad person Noah.”

Yes I am, it’s my fault for taking advantage of her.

“Why did you do it?” She asked, still staring at her hands.

“Why else?” My hands ran up across my face, “I need the fucking money. Not like I do this for fun.”

I keep picturing my ending beneath a yellow rose I don't recall this type of feeling, a seed inside my bones My soul turned its back and left me, I burnt the bridge within Just another waste of humans weighing down this skin

“I tried giving you options- like the bar, or even a position at the cafe,” She began rambling, her hand moving erratically as she explained.

“And I'm grateful,” I reached out towards her arm, but she pushed herself towards the window, away from me defensively.

My hand fell in shame, “but that can’t make me enough. It’s hard to make money this way when it’s just me doing jobs.”

“I get that,” She folded her arms, holding onto herself, “But I told you I would help.”

And it pulls me further from the point that I belong And all you wanna do is take me, break me, hide me away Or you can shame me, blame me, burn me at the stake on a lie 'Cause my own mind wilts at the thought of being alive And that I'd like it if I tried

“You didn’t need to go behind my back. You could have just asked,” she whispered.

“I- the whole reason I did this robbery in specific,” I stated, opening the glovebox in front of her, revealing the plastic bottles, “was to get back your meds. That’s why I’ve been so distant.”

She stared at the orange bottles, detached.

“I have felt so fucking guilty, that I have barely been able to look at you knowing what I did,” my voice began to raise, “Like how fucked up am I? That I could do that to you, knowing, that they’re supposed to be helping you?”

I scoffed at myself as I slammed the glovebox, making Y/N jump in the process.

The more I fool myself The more I feel it creeping in I think I lost my mind again

“Y/N,” I whispered now, “I am so sorry I did this to you. I am so sorry I dragged you into this.”

The more I start to fall The more I don't see me at all I think I lost my mind again

Chapter 6

#burning out fanfic #sorrows of silence #bad omens #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #bad omens band #noah sebastian davis #metalcore #noah sebastian fluff #noah sebastian smut #nicholas ruffilo #crime #criminals #money heist #heist

[sillyrabbit81]

Hi dear

I'm a big fan of your writing, especially the way you write Sy. Love it. If you are still taking prompts, I have one.

How would Henry and his characters react to having an Erectile dysfunction?

I think that topic is not being discussed enough.

🖤🖤🖤

Thanks for the ask Anon. I was having trouble with this ask so I discussed it with @henryobsessed and we worked on it together. To be fair, she did most of it! If you haven’t read any of her work I suggest you visit her blog and take a look at her Masterlist . She is a great friend and has a wonderful perspective and a unique style. I love her!

@henryobsessed here I have to interject and have my say too, I loved this request, it was so much fun finding creative ways to discuss a delicate subject. And for the record I may have done more characters but @sillyrabbit81 wrote more words per character HAHAHA. You are a wonderful Friend and Cavill sister you inspire and push me to be myself and I cannot be more grateful. That being said have fun reading guys 😊

Summary: Situations in which Henry and his characters suffer erectile dysfunctions

Word Count: approx 3k

Warnings: smut, masturbation (m), oral sex (m and f receiving), anal play, p in v sex, bad medical advice, incorrect use of prescription medication, bodily fluids, period sex, drunk sex, Dom/sub relationship, descriptions of violence and death,

Masterlist

Erectile Dysfunction Headcanon

Henry Cavill

Henry had been filming for months and now he was headed home for a week’s break. You sat there waiting in the tinted people mover, as Henry was ushered to the car. Lights blinded you as the door opened, he climbed in, and smiling a weary grin, he pulled you into a big bear hug. He missed you so much.

That night, he fell into your arms in a passionate embrace. You had both craved each other, missing one another’s touch. As the night progressed, you noticed things were different. For the first forty minutes you were ecstatic, he had bought you to orgasm three times. Your body was super sensitive, but every time he seemed to be close himself, the phone would ring, indicating someone needed him. You had switched it off after an hour, having enough, and wanting his undivided attention.

Henry had managed to stay hard, but after an hour and a half, it was beginning to be painful for you, and he seemed no closer. Eventually, he flopped beside you, drained from the physical exertion.

“I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s like I’m right there, but I can’t let go.”

You brought him into your arms, and caressing his back said, “Don’t worry love. It will be ok. Just give yourself a day, and maybe we can shut your phone off. I think the stress it is causing you might be a big part of the problem.”

He huffed at the thought. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe.” He sighed and soon you heard soft snores spilling from his lips.

Walter Marshall

It had been a long day, scratch that a long month. Walter had been working day and night to catch a serial killer. That night as he came home, he couldn’t forget the latest victim. What they had found had turned his stomach. In all the years he had been on the force, nothing could have prepared him for what they found that night.

Arriving home he collapsed on the bed, he was so physically exhausted, and for once sleep immediately consumed him. He woke nearly twelve hours later to the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee. He groaned; he had forgotten it was his two-year anniversary with you. Walking into the bathroom he washed his face, staring at the blood shot eyes reflected back at him.

“Come on man, get it together. You promised her,” Walter tried to fire himself up. It was no use, he was spent. Sighing, he walked into the kitchen wrapped his arms around you and breathed in the soft floral scent in your hair. For the first time in days, he felt a spark within himself, and although the horrific images still played on his mind, he felt a slight peace. He kissed your head, relieved, something could still reach him, something was still good. “Happy anniversary, love,” he growled.

After a wonderful breakfast, Walter sat on the couch with you and the two of you cuddled while watching a movie. His eyes kept sliding shut, his exhaustion made worse by his full belly. His fatigue became even more apparent when after reaching your hand beneath the blanket, you could not bring his flaccid muscle to attention.

Normally this situation would turn heated quickly, you had a way with your tongue that often had him begging for more. But Walter couldn’t get rid of the images in his mind, the battered and dismembered bodies, and the fact they were no closer to catching the killer weighed most heavily on his thoughts.

After half an hour of you trying to arouse him, Walter said in a resigned voice, “Sorry love, I don’t think I can.” With eyes that spoke of immense pain he looked at you and asked, “Could we please just cuddle? I think I need that more than anything right now.” In that moment he knew you were the one for him. He had expected huffing or crying because you thought you weren’t good enough or you asking him to please you. Instead, you had adjusted your position, so he was tucked into your body, holding him close while your hand stroked his curls.

A calm filled his soul as you whispered, “I am here for whatever you need my love. Rest now.”

Captain Syverson

You were just about to turn the light off and go to sleep when you heard the front door open with a crash and heard a rough curse. You grin, Sy was home and wasn’t sober. You knew what that meant, rough, wild, primal fucking. You quickly turn the light off and hide under the covers, well acquainted with the game, you knew how to play your part.

“Where are ya, woman?” Sy’s voice boomed at your bedroom door. “Don’t think you can hide from me. I’m hungry!”

You peek out from under the blanket, Sy had turned the light on again and was quickly undressing. You lick your lips, watching your big furry ox as he dropped his jeans, and his cock was revealed already on its way to being hard. Turning suddenly, he saw you, and you yelped covering your face again. “I see you woman, don’t play shy!” You giggle nervously, excited, your core already dampening with arousal.

Sy pulls the covers back and smirks as he sees you’re already naked waiting for him, “You’re a cheeky little thing ain’tcha?” You bite your lip, opening your legs slightly, inviting him in. Grabbing your ankles, he pulls you down the bed and gets on his knees. A low growl emanates from his throat before he dives between your legs feasting on you with an eagerness that brings you swiftly to your peak.

Licking at his lips and sucking on his glistening whiskers, he stands up pumping his cock getting it ready. Your brows pull together, puzzled, he’s always hard when he eats you out. You don’t have time to dwell on it because he’s soon ready. Sy flips you onto your knees before he enters and begins his assault on your core.

Something is wrong though, you can feel him falling out of you. Did he cum already? Sy mumbles curses, pulling out and you turn around and see him fisting himself again as he slips his fingers inside you. In a few moments he is hard again, removing his fingers and replacing it with his cock. You sigh, relieved, as he builds his rhythm, and you hear him start to groan. But soon, it happens again, and try as he might he just can’t stay hard.

“Fuck,” Sy growls. You turn around and see the look on his face, a mix of frustration and embarrassment that melts your heart. “I think I drank too much Sugar,” he says, running his hand over his short hair. “Fuck. This hasn’t happened… Fuck!”

“Hey!” you say sharply to get his attention.

“What?” Sy replies just as sharply, but he doesn’t look at you.

“It’s fine, Baby,” you assure him. You see him jut his jaw and you reach up and cup his cheeks, making him look at you. “It’s ok. You’re just a little too drunk,” you smile and give him a soft kiss. “It happens.”

“Not to me it don’t.”

“It’s not forever,” you say. “Come on, let’s go to sleep. I’m sure it’ll be back normal in the morning.” You kiss him again and pull his head down to whisper in his ear, “maybe you could wake me up like you did last week.” You pull back and smirk raising your eyebrows.

Sy grins, still a little sheepish, but there was a hint of mischief in his eyes again, “You’re a good thing, Sugar.” He kisses your forehead and says, “I love you.”

Geralt of Rivia

Geralt had never in his life had this happen before. The bar maid who had eagerly agreed to keep his bed warm on this cold winter’s night, gaped in confusion.

How could it be? She thought, All the myths about Witcher’s said they were virile and could last most of the night. She had been consumed with the thought ever since The White Wolf had arrived in the area and was quick to accept his offer to take her to his bed. She was bitterly disappointed and pouted at Geralt. Her sweet, plump lips alone should have been enough to make his cock stand, but tonight it lay unmoving, and useless.

That blasted sorcerer, it must have been him who had cast a curse on Geralt. It could be the only explanation for his inadequate showing. Looking at the poor wench beside him, Geralt pitied her. She had been most eager to satisfy his needs tonight, giving a valiant effort to arouse him. No matter, he had other ways to enjoy bringing her to the height of pleasure. Granted he didn’t normally concern himself with their needs as his own normally coincided with theirs. But tonight, his fingers, and tongue would be adequate until he broke the curse and returned to give her what she truly deserved.

Mike

The party had been epic, the drinks flowed, pot was smoked in abundance and Mike had managed to capture the attentions of a wonderful long legged blonde beauty. She helped him back to her apartment and his heart rate raised as she slowly stripped him, leaving him in all his naked glory. Laying on the bed he watched as she did a strip tease for him, her perky breasts bouncing as she jiggled her ample peach in his face.

But something was wrong, the situation was right, she was right but… he held his hand out to the two or was it three beauties before him. One took his hand as he guided her to sit in his lap. He caressed her as they kissed, his tongue violating her mouth with as much enthusiasm as his inebriated self could manage. Even with her grinding against him nothing happened.

“Shit” he swore.

The girl frowned and her lips seemed to move in twisted patterns which stilled again before she snickered. An evil cackle reverberated in her throat and her face twisted into that of a demented creature. “Can’t get it up, boy?” she taunted as she continued to laugh. She collected his clothes and managed to push him out of her bedroom and into the night. Standing in the cold with only his briefs covering his body, he stumbled as he began his walk of shame home.

August Walker

August Walker was hands down, far and away, the greatest lover you have ever had. He was the only man who had ever been able to keep up with you, your average session lasting for four hours. He was able to cum and get hard again faster than any guy you had ever been with too.

But being with August meant following The Rules. There were many Rules, rules which governed how you would dress when you saw him, how you were groomed, how you were to address him and when you could contact him. There were punishments too, but you had been a good girl, never broken any of his rules, so you never gave the punishments a thought.

One of the many Rules was absolutely no snooping. He said it was for your protection as much for his privacy. You didn’t know exactly how August made his money, but you assumed it had to be from some sort of illegal activity. So, you obeyed this rule as you did the others until one evening after a marathon session, you realised you got your period. You were shocked August hadn’t said anything, clearly he had continued to fuck you while you were bleeding. You started opening his bathroom cupboards searching for a tampon or pad or something, hoping you wouldn’t have to stuff your panties with toilet paper until you got home.

You opened the cupboard behind the mirror and were surprised to see a pill bottle with little blue tablets. You recognised them and after checking the label and confirming it you were speechless. August used Viagra? But, it didn’t seem possible that he would need it, his stamina was out of this world… unless…

“What do you think you are doing Petal?” August said from the doorway, a box of tampons and a towel was in his hands.

Quickly recovering your senses, you grabbed the box and towel out of his hands and kissed his cheek saying, “Looking for those. Thank you, August.”

Quicker than you thought possible you were bent over the counter, cheek pushed into the stone benchtop. “You found my pills,” August said coldly. Leaning his body over yours, his weight pushed down on you, holding you in place as he kicked your legs apart. You muffled a cry as you felt him hard again against your ass. “I don’t need them, for most women, Petal. But for particularly slutty, insatiable, cock hungry brats such as yourself, it’s a necessary assistance.”

“I didn’t mean to pry,” you murmured, hoping he would take pity on you. Tears welled in your eyes as his finger pressed against your ass, forcing your tight muscles apart and you cried as he entered you. “I’m sorry, August.”

“My dear sweet, Pet,” August grunted as he violated you with a second finger. “If you aren’t sorry now, you will be.”

Napoleon Solo

Napoleon had been watching the siren from a distance all night. Her lithe body commanded all around to her attention. After she finished singing her call to the night goddess, he made his move. Two drinks in hand he set his sights and went in for the kill.

The two danced, drank and now were in her apartment, laid out on her bed he was happily pleasing her, mouth buried between her delicious thighs. His tongue flicked expertly over her button bringing her to climax, exciting his body, he climbed forward and for the first time that night claimed her lips. They kissed passionately until something changed, his mind grew foggy, and his cock deflated.

“Aww, is the great Casanova having trouble?” she laughed her sweet siren song changing to a bitter retort. His confused eyes tried to fix on hers as she began to distort, her last words filling his gut with fear. “Don’t worry love. I’ll take good care of you Napoleon Solo.”

Clark Kent

Clark was in college and his new friend Tommy was egging him on to take Crystal out for a date. He couldn’t understand why the cheerleader wanted to take him out. He wasn’t anything special as far as she knew, but she had been flirting with him all week.

Dinner was nice and Clark was surprised when Crystal suggested they return to her share house for dessert. Nervous as he was around her, he was pleased when after ice cream he had allowed her to talk him into a make out session in her room. They had only been in the room a few moments when he had felt strange. They had been kissing, it was enjoyable, but his stomach had begun to feel off and he felt unusually tired and weak.

The more they kissed the more frustrated he was to realise he wasn’t getting a rise out of his little friend. He noticed a pendant hanging on the wall near her bed, the green stone glowed eerily at him giving him a bad vibe. After a few more moments he politely excused himself, saying he must have eaten something off. Clarke murmured apologies and gave promises that he would call her and he left. Strangely, by the time he left her house he felt better, as if he had never felt ill at all. He was only a little upset that he had ruined his chances with Crystal, something about that pendant made him hope he would never see it again.

Charles Brandon

Charles sat in the apothecary rooms, wondering what he had gotten himself in for. The King had recommended him when Charles confided in his friend of his problem.

“So young man, why are you here?” the old man asked, his face kind but stern.

“Well, I’ve been having trouble, when I pee it burns and well, I can get an erection, but it deflates quickly and sometimes I cannot get one at all. I’m also having abdominal pain.”

The old man chuckled. After examining the affected area, he turned to his wall of potions. Pulling together some salves, and powdered herbs he turned to address the Charles. “Here, rub this on the affected area twice a day, and drink this tea three times a day.” The apothecary paused and said with a grin, “And finally, give the ladies from court a rest for a bit, you will regain your vigour again.”

Shame and chagrin filled Charles as he pulled his coverings back over his privates. Taking the medicines, he snuck out of the room trusting that no one saw him, and hoping against all hope, that this would work.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock sits back in satisfaction, marvelling at his new invention. Based on some literature he read from the America’s he perfected the design and made it fit himself perfectly.

Having commissioned the glass tube and rubber attachments, the contraption worked by winding a small handle, creating the necessary suction to create a vacuum, pooling enough blood into his cock to make it erect. By placing a rubber ring at the base of his shaft, he found he was able to maintain an erection for approximately thirty minutes. He could even bring himself to orgasm by his own hand.

It really was a delightful invention. Now, he just had to find that little vixen of a maid and see if it worked with her too. Perhaps he should try and use her mouth first.

Tag List 1

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#henry cavill headcanon #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fic #henry cavill fanfic #walter marshall headcanon #walter marshall fanfiction #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson headcanon #captain syverson #geralt of rivia fanfiction #geralt of rivia headcanon #geralt of rivia #mike hellraiser headcanon #mike (hellraiser) #mike hellraiser #august walker fanfiction #august walker headcanon #august walker #napoleon solo #napoleon solo headcanon #clark kent headcanon #clark kent #clark kent fanfiction #charles brandon #charles brandon headcanon #charles brandon fanfiction #sherlock holmes #henry cavill sherlock holmes

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right Chapter 2 || Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Hello besties, laptop is going haywire but for the moment we are back!! 

Read chapter 1 of this fic here!

TW: This chapter contains swearing and descriptions of domestic violence. Please read at your own discretion! 

wordcount: 2.6k

tagging: @the-modernmary @greeneyedblondie44 DM to be added to the tag list :) 

Josh fell asleep on your ride home. You roused him gently as you pulled into your designated parking spot outside of your apartment.

“Josh,” You whispered, pushing at his shoulder gently. “Come on, we’re home. It’s late. Let’s go to bed.” 

He jerked awake. “Fuck. I was sleeping. Jesus.” He barked. 

“Sorry, baby. We’re home.” You repeated.

“Don’t know why you even bother calling it home. You’re never fucking here.” Josh grumbled, clumsily unbuckling his seatbelt and sliding out the passenger seat of the car. He went on ahead as you went into your backseat to gather your go-bag and purse. When you got to the front door, he was still fumbling with his house key. 

“Here, let me.” You took the key from his hands gently, unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door. 

Before you could even turn around, you were on the floor in the doorway, your nose slamming into the carpet. You were bleeding onto the floor, your blood soaking the tan fibers. It takes you a moment to realize that he’d pushed you. 

“Josh, what the--” a well placed kick to your hip cut off your protest before you could finish it. You rolled over, looking up to see him panting, with angry eyes. 

“You think you’re real slick huh? Staying late at work with the boss? Jesus, sweetheart. I thought you were better than getting a promotion on your back.”

“We were working, Josh. There’s nothing else going on there.” You argued, scrambling backwards away from him and propping yourself up on your elbows. You know that there should be some sort of instinct kicking in, one that allows you to disarm him as if he were an unsub, but you feel helpless as you struggle to put distance between the two of you. He followed you across the room, kneeling over you and pinning you against the floor before delivering another harsh slap to your already-swollen cheek. 

“Listen to me when I’m talking to you.” He growled, and you gulped. He smirked, before grabbing you by the hair and throwing you against the closest wall. You see stars, but you will yourself to stay awake. You’re scared of what he might do if you can’t fight back. 

“Oh yeah? Just working, at 2AM when everyone else is gone? And what was that he called you? Invaluable.” He spits out, pulling you up roughly by your forearms. He leaned in close, presumably to intimidate you. You don’t give him the satisfaction, looking him in the eye and doing your best not to let your glare betray your fear. “Well, we’ll see about that.” He smirked, reaching an arm around to take your gun out of its holster, placing it against  your chin. Your face dropped. 

“Josh… Joshua, you’re drunk. Let’s just go to bed, okay? I’m sorry I was out late. I’ll make it up to you in the morning. I swear.” You’re frantic, your training leaving you once again. De-escalate, de-escalate, de-escalate. “I’m sorry, baby. It won’t happen again, I promise. I’ll request a transfer so I don’t have to travel anymore.” 

He chuckled. “Okay, dear. We can talk in the morning. I’m going up to bed. Get that blood out of the carpet, will you?” He placed your gun on a nearby end table.

He kissed you on the forehead before he went to the bedroom, but the gesture had never been less comforting. He left you there, standing against the wall, blood streaming down your face. You slid down the wall, knees curled up into your chest on the floor, regulating your breath for a few minutes before you rose again. You holster your gun before tending to the blood on the carpet, realizing belatedly that you can’t get it clean because you’re still dripping all over the stain. You chuckled a little, although none of this is really all that funny, sitting back on your heels and looking up at the ceiling, wondering how the fuck you ended up here. Realizing you had no clue what time it was, you reached out your work phone, seeing a missed text from Aaron. 

Please let me know that you’re safe.

You looked around, at your blood on the carpet, at the dent your head had made in the drywall when Josh threw you against it. You brought a gentle hand to your face, feeling how your nose was definitely not in the same place it was when the day had started, and you sighed. Things with Josh were never perfect-- but this was too far. You texted Hotch back. 

I need help. 

Hotch could have easily blamed his inability to fall asleep on the cups of coffee you both had been drinking well into the evening, but he knew that wasn’t the case. If that were so, there was no reason for him to be flicking his eyes over to his phone every three minutes. But here he was, in his study, file open in front of him, and not a word of it absorbed.     

Finally, finally, his phone buzzed. He unlocked it fervently, anxious for the assurance that you were fine. Your text provided no such assurance. 

“Are you safe right now? Do you need medical?” He texted back, trying to keep his head for your sake. 

“Not urgently. Can’t stay here.” 

“You alone?”

“He’s asleep.” 

“On my way. Pack a go bag.” 

“Don’t come in. Light sleeper. Just text.”

You were suddenly grateful for the load of laundry you’d left in the dryer that morning, tossing it all in your go bag without folding it. When you realized that you didn’t know when or if you’d be back here, you took the lockbox off the top of the fridge and pulled out all of your important documents-- your passport, birth certificate, social security card--you tuck them all into a file folder as you feel your phone buzz. 

“Outside.” Hotchner texts you plainly. You gingerly pick up your bags and slip out the door, careful not to make any noise. 

Hotch is out of the car in an instant once he sees you-- he doesn’t know what he expected, exactly, but somehow you look worse, even from a distance. 

“Hey, hey, give me that.” He said, taking your bags from you. “You said you didn’t need medical.” He said, accusatory, but not mean. 

“I said not urgently. I didn’t want you to send an ambulance.” You told him. “I feel fine. I just need advil.” You said as the two of you climbed into his SUV. 

He looked you over, incredulous. Your nose was definitely broken, and he couldn’t tell in the dark of the night, but he was pretty sure you were still bleeding. Your cheek was swollen from where he slapped you, and you were sporting a black eye, likely a complication of the nose. And that was just what he could see. He shuddered, although he tried to hide it from you. 

“We’re going to the hospital.” He said, turning his key in the ignition and taking off.

“Hotch, I just want to sleep. Please. I’ll take myself to the hospital in the morning, I promise.” You practically begged. 

He turned his head towards you. The only thing he wanted more than to give in, in that moment, was to make sure that you were safe. “Did you hit your head?” He asked, 

“What?” You asked. 

“Did you bump your head at all, when everything happened?”

“Yeah,” you told him, running a hand over your head and feeling the tender bump that was forming there. You cringed, and Aaron caught it. 

“I’m sorry, but we need to take you to the hospital. You probably have a concussion.” He apologized. 

“I really don’t want to go through the whole ‘you were clearly involved in a domestic dispute’ thing that they’re going to do,” you complained.

“You don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to answer. I just need to make sure you’re okay. Everything else goes at your pace.” He promises you, sneaking a glance away from the road and over to your face. You’re already looking back at him. 

“Thank you,” you whispered. 

Already looking back at the road, Hotch took one hand away from the wheel and gave your forearm a quick squeeze in response. You drove in silence for a few moments before Aaron pulled into the hospital.

“Alright, let’s get this over with so we can get you to bed.” He told you, climbing out of the car before coming over to your side to help you walk. Truth be told, you didn’t really need assistance, but your hip hurt so badly that you were limping, and it seemed better to have Aaron slowed down by helping you, rather than just by watching you. 

The emergency room was, thankfully, deserted, and you were seen relatively quickly. Aaron offered to stay in the waiting room but you asked him to come with you. 

“I, uh. I don’t really want to be left alone right now, if you don’t mind.”

“No, no, of course not.” He said, standing and following you and the nurse. 

“What brings you in, dear?” The nurse asked, moving slowly to accommodate your pace. 

“My boyfriend beat the shit out of me.” You said, figuring she might make it easier if you  just bite the bullet, and Aaron shot you a glance. You shrugged in response, and then noticed the nurse’s eyes shifting between the two of you. 

“Oh, no. Not him.” You assured her with as big of a smile as you could muster, given the amount of pain that you were in. “He’s a friend. He picked me up.” You explained as she led the two of you into an exam room, shutting the door behind you. Aaron helped you up onto the exam bed gently, choosing to stand nearby rather than sit in the chair provided.

“Okay, ma’am. Our policy for domestic disputes is not to involve police unless requested by the victim.” You cringed at her word choice. “We don’t want this to be more stressful than it already is. What we do instead, is we take a detailed account of everything that happened to cause you bodily harm, and if you decide to pursue any legal action, we can send those records along on your behalf. So can you tell me what happened tonight?” 

You glanced over at Aaron before you started, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t going to like this. You told the nurse, clinically, what had happened, leaving out the things he had said to you for Aaron’s sake. You did your best to keep your emotions in check, although regurgitating everything that had happened was making you feel sick. You glanced over at Aaron-- his jaw was set, his mouth in a straight line, nostrils flaring, even as he stared at the linoleum tile on the floor. You closed your eyes and attempted to zone out as you continued, as if you could distance yourself from the emotions by imagining that it was just a story you were telling. 

“And then he pulled my gun out of my holster---”

“Ma’am, do you have a gunshot wound?” The nurse interrupts you, voice slightly panicked.

Oh, shit. You probably didn’t need to include that part. Your eyes are open in an instant, and you look over at Hotch. He’s pissed, and not looking at the floor anymore.

“No, no. Sorry, that is um--- that’s clinically insignificant. He didn’t fire the gun or strike me with it. That’s how it ended.”

“Okay, hon. Why don’t you get changed,” she said, handing you a hospital gown, “and I’ll send the doctor in in just a second.” 

“Thank you,” you said, and Aaron echoed his thanks. 

“Clinically insignificant?” Aaron asked incredulously as the nurse shut the door. 

“Can you turn around? I need to change.” You deflected.

He turned to face the wall as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “He pulled a gun on you, (y/n).” He shook his head as you quickly changed. 

“I know. I’m sorry. You can turn back around now.” You told him.

“No, I’m sorry. How long has this been going on for? How did I not notice?” He asked as he turned to see you, practically swimming in the oversized gown.

“I think we all work really, really hard not to be profiled, Aaron.” You tried to comfort him.

He was interrupted before he could respond by the doctor knocking and then swinging the door open.

“Good evening, folks.” The smiling blonde woman said. “Let’s get you home so you can sleep some of this off, yeah?” 

It takes a couple of hours, but you’re sent home with a nose that’s set back in place, as well as a prescription for enough pain killers to put a large dog in a coma, in addition to the confirmation that you did, in fact, have a concussion. Your hip, thankfully, was just bruised. 

“She needs to be woken up every couple of hours for the rest of the night and the day tomorrow. Just to be safe.” The doctor told Hotch. 

“Not a problem.” He said resolutely. 

“Do you have any questions?” She asked, turning to you. 

“When can I go back to work?”

“Well, if you work at a computer--”

“I work for the justice department. So, I guess I’m really asking about field work.” You clarify.

“At least ten days, and that’s if you’re feeling better.” She said, giving you a stern look. You visibly deflated, knowing that if the doctor said ten days, Hotch wasn’t letting you in the field for at least twenty. 

“Thank you, doctor.” Hotchner said, placing a hand on the small of you back as she opened the door and allowed you both out. 

“Of course. Call us if anything changes.”

You trudged out to the car in an exhausted silence, sure that you’ll fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving. Once you’re buckled in, Hotch speaks. 

“I’ll tell Strauss that we aren’t coming in today,” he says offhandedly as he cranes his body back to pull out of the parking spot, his arm strewn across the back of your seat for leverage.

“We?” You questioned. 

“You need to be woken up every two hours. I can’t exactly do that from the office.” He reminds you. 

“I can just set an alarm on my phone, it’s not a big deal.” 

“Uh huh, and when the alarm doesn’t wake you up because you have a brain bleed?” He’s teasing you, but you also know him well enough to know that there is a very real twinge of anxiety behind it. 

“Hotch,” you scoffed at his joke, breaking into a smile despite yourself. “I don’t need you to take care of me.” You added more seriously. 

“I know you don’t.” He placates you. “But will you let me do it anyways? Plus, you’re not the only one who didn’t sleep last night.”   

“I guess that’s my fault.” You admitted. 

“Hey, I’m glad you called me. And I’m also glad the bureau has a generous sick leave policy. We both need it right now.” 

You can sense that this is an argument that you’re not going to win, and even if you could, you don’t have the energy to try. You close your eyes and lean back against the headrest in the car, giving him a resigned nod before you fall asleep.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n

[nerdzzone]

Only For A Moment: July

Summary: A series of shorter one shots from Chris and Whitney’s life together throughout the pandemic. Some happy times, some harder times, some fluff and some things a little more sexy - they work through it all as they try to get settled in their new and blossoming relationship.

Chris Evans x OFC

Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series

Only For A Moment: June

-----

July 2020

Chris was stressed.

It was understandable as he'd just launched his new endeavour - A Starting Point - but it was worrying me how anxious and overwhelmed he seemed to be. The feedback so far had been good, but he was still concerned about how it was going to be received and whether or not people would actually find it useful. He had several long, full days of interviews scheduled to promote it and explain what they hoped to achieve and, after the first week, he was exhausted which made him moody and withdrawn.

It didn't help that Grayson had quickly adjusted to having our undivided attention and was growing increasingly frustrated with his dad's busy schedule. The Friday after the launch, Chris promised him that he'd be done by bedtime so he could tuck him in, but technical difficulties got in the way and he was once again stuck in front of his laptop until well into the evening.

And that was where I found him, at almost nine o'clock, when I went to see if he'd be finished anytime soon. I'd poked my head around the door and saw him sat at his desk with his head in his hands and the sight made my heart ache.  Sneaking up behind him, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"Hey," I greeted him softly. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he assured me, but the sigh that followed told me otherwise. "Just tired. It's been a busy week."

"It has. We've missed you."

My words weren't meant to add guilt to his stress, but I realized my mistake when he winced.

"Sorry," he mumbled, placing a kiss on my arm where it rested across his chest. "I did try to finish early today - I suggested we push the last interview until tomorrow when we hit the connection issues, but they weren't having it. Was Grayson mad that I missed bedtime again?"

"Not mad," I shrugged. "Just a bit disappointed."

Chris' head fell forward and his shoulders stiffened.

"That's worse."

"No, it's not," I insisted, squeezing him tightly. "He was just a little sad, but he got over it. I promised him that you'd do something fun with him when you weren't so busy and he accepted that."

"I was actually thinking of taking him to the museum to see the dinosaur exhibit," Chris admitted. "They just reopened, but he'd have to wear a mask."

"He'd love that," I smiled, knowing how much both of them loved their father and son days. We'd made an effort to give him more one on one time, but it was limiting when we hadn't been able to leave the house much until recently. "And I think he'd be okay with a mask. We can order one and get him to wear it at home for a bit to get used to it."

"Good idea," Chris nodded. "I can do that tomorrow"

"Or I can," I suggested, kissing the side of his head. "You're busy enough at the moment. And you're stressed, I can feel the tension in your shoulders."

Chris sighed again and I felt a pang of sympathy for him.

"I know. This project just means a lot to me. I want it to do well."

"And it is," I reminded him as an idea hit me. "C'mon, I know what you need to help you relax."

"Oh, yeah?" Chris smirked and I rolled my eyes as his mind had clearly gone straight to something dirty. "What would that be?"

"Probably not whatever you're thinking of," I informed him. "But there's some pizza left in the kitchen. Go have a slice of that and then meet me in the bedroom."

"Alright, I like the sound of this."

His smirk had grown and I swatted the back of his head as I slid my arms off of his shoulders.

"Don't be such a perv!"

He laughed and stood up from his chair as I shook my head and he pulled me in for a quick kiss before we headed downstairs and went our separate ways.

-

If there was one thing I knew how to do, it was run the perfect bath for relaxation. It had been my tradition every evening after I'd dropped Gray off at Chris' house - I would pour myself a glass of wine and take a bath, enjoying the opportunity for a long soak without the risk of Grayson interrupting. The bathtub in Chris' en suite made that indulgence even better due to it's size and depth and I'd taken advantage of it several times during our stay with Chris. Which meant that I had quite the assortment of bath salts and bubble bath to create the perfect bath for Chris.

The tub had just finished filling up when he walked in and I heard him chuckle at the sight.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed."

"Oh, shush," I teased, turning around to face him once I'd turned off the taps. "This will be much more effective than whatever you were imagining."

Chris scoffed at that claim, a smirk firmly on his face.

"I disagree."

"I'm sure you do, but that's too bad. Now, strip."

"Ooh, I like it when you're bossy."

His comment earned another roll of my eyes as I crossed my arms and waited for him to do as I'd instructed.

As he did, I couldn't help, but stare. He seemed to be toning up even more during our quarantine and the sight of his perfectly sculpted body took my breath away every time I had the luxury of seeing it. He caught my gaze and colour flooded my cheeks as I knew that he'd seen me gawking at him, but despite the smug look on his face, he made no comment as he climbed into the tub.

Once he was settled with his head resting back on the edge of the tub, I sat down on the closed lid of the toilet and picked my phone up from where it was sitting on the counter. I unlocked the screen with the intention of replying to my mother who had messaged me while I was getting the bath ready, but a giggle slipped from my lips when I saw what was already open on my phone from earlier that day. Chris raised a questioning eyebrow and I debated whether or not to tell him about it. It had the potential to send his stress levels sky rocketing again, but if he thought I was hiding something from him, it would probably irritate him and ruin his mood anyway so I came clean.

"Hannah sent me a link to an Instagram account today that posts lots of gossip stuff," I informed him. "Most of it seems to be just random submissions, but they've been right a few times, I guess, so people seem to believe whatever they say now."

"And why did she send you a link to it?"

"Because apparently you're engaged."

I was smiling as I broke the news to him because obviously I knew it wasn't true, but Chris let out a groan of annoyance.

"Engaged to who?! To you?"

"No, to a mysterious blonde. Apparently, the person who sent in the message has a friend who spotted you picking up some takeout with this woman. Her ring was clearly on display and you were openly affectionate with her while you waited for your food."

"That's just a straight up lie," Chris huffed. "I don't know why people waste their time making this shit up and I really don't know why you bother reading it."

"It's not like I seek it out, but Hannah finds it entertaining to see what people are saying about us," I shrugged. "You have to admit that it's kinda funny. It sends everyone into such a frenzy."

Chris shot me a look.

"Funny isn't the word I'd use."

"C'mon, it's a little amusing!" I smiled, scrolling down to the comments. "Like, look, they're discussing whether or not I fit the description in case I just dyed my hair blonde. But then someone else says they saw me in L.A. two weeks ago, around the time you were with the blonde woman, so it couldn't possibly be me. They're like little detectives."

Chris rolled his eyes, but there was a reluctant smile on his face.

"Detectives aren't allowed to just make things up," he pointed out. "Unless you took a secret trip a few weeks ago that I didn't know about."

"No, I didn't," I laughed. "You have some very creative fans."

"I don't think it's my fans who write that stuff. It's probably other people trying to antagonize them."

"Well, it works like a charm. They go nuts trying to decide if it's true. I just wish they wouldn't get so mean about it sometimes," I admitted. "Like, some of them were saying how glad they were that you'd moved on from me finally because of how cruel it is that I ruined your life by trapping you with a baby."

The scowl on Chris' face instantly returned with that additional information and I scolded myself for saying it.

"I should have let Downey sue them all like he wanted to when it first leaked that you were pregnant," Chris huffed. "Then maybe by now these gossip pages would know better than to post shit about us."

"It would have just made things worse," I insisted as a smirk slid onto my face. "Besides, it doesn't really bother me. I'm the one sitting next to you while you lounge completely naked in a bubble bath while they spiral into a jealous pit of despair."

That comment earned me a laugh before he sat up a bit higher in the tub.

"Why are you sitting over there anyway?" He asked. "Get in here with me."

I smiled at his demand, but shook my head.

"This isn't supposed to be a sexy bath. You're supposed to be relaxing."

"And what better way to relax than to share a bath with the woman I love?"

A statement like that was hard to resist, especially as he grinned up at me from the tub with that amazing smile of his. I relented with surprisingly little resistance and rose from where I was sitting.

"I suppose that's fair..."

Putting my phone back on the counter, I turned so my back was to Chris. I could feel his eyes burning into me as he stared and I bit back a smirk. I quickly undid the button on the shorts I was wearing and slid them down my legs, bending at the waist as I stepped out of them. A noise of approval came from behind me as I stood up again and I shot him what I hoped was a sexy look over my shoulder before I pulled my shirt over my head. After slipping out of my bra and quickly pulling off my panties, I left them with my shorts and turned around with one hand over my chest to keep it covered until I was settled in the tub under all the bubbles.

"Wow," Chris grinned. "You're so fuckin' hot."

I giggled at his compliment, feeling a wave of self-confidence from my little strip tease.

For the past few weeks I'd been spending more time in Chris' home gym and I was feeling the positive side effects - more than just in my slowly developing muscle tone. We'd had a fight one night not long after our first pool day when I made some self-deprecating comments that rubbed Chris the wrong way. He scolded me rather harshly for always talking badly about my body and, while at first his exasperated reaction made me shut down, it eventually led to a very open conversation.

I explained that I wasn't just fishing for compliments all the time. I had some serious insecurities and - as analyzed by Hannah who was a very well trained psychologist - I tended to put myself down first before someone else could do it. I informed him that it wasn't just the body changes that come from pregnancy that bothered me, but the fact that I hadn't had much time to go to the gym since Gray was born - when he was with me, I was busy with him and when he was with Chris, I was busy with work.

He understood where I was coming from and reminded me that his home gym was available for my use any time I wanted, but insisted that I make sure I was doing it for the right reasons. He didn't want me killing myself to change how I looked when I didn't really need to, but I assured him that my motivations weren't all vanity related. Sure, I wanted to look good, but I missed feeling strong and healthy.

After our conversation, I’d started taking some time every day to get some exercise and the difference it was making to my confidence even after a few short weeks was huge. So, hearing Chris' praise now made me feel wonderful because I was actually starting to believe it.

"Thanks," I smiled in response to his compliment as I got settled in the bath tub. We were facing each other, my legs draped over his thighs so my feet were resting by his hips and my bum was between his shins. He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together as he watched me with what could only be described as an adoring look. "It's amazing what a few weeks at the gym can do."

"Helps that you were pretty hot to start with too," he teased. "But I'm glad you're feeling more confident."

"Me too." I leaned forward to press a soft kiss on his lips. "So, are you feeling more relaxed?"

"I am," Chris nodded before letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry I've been so stressed out lately. I just want this whole thing to go well."

"And it is," I repeated my earlier assurance. "So far you've had a great reaction."

"For now," he frowned. "I just want people to actually use it and get involved."

"They will," I assured him, leaning in for another kiss. "Have I told you how proud I am of you? You're doing such a great thing, using your influence to try and make a difference. It's very inspiring."

"Well, I think you're too kind," he told me, trying to be humble despite the proud grin on his face. "Really, it's the least I can do."

"Nope, the least you could do is nothing," I pointed out. "But you're trying to help people and I'm so proud of you for that. I'm grateful that Grayson has a dad like you to look up to."

It appeared - for a brief moment - that Chris' eyes grew a little bit glassy, but he blinked a few times and they were clear once again.

"Thanks, Winnie." He paused to clear his throat. "That really means a lot and I'm sorry I've been so busy this week. I have one more podcast interview to do tomorrow morning and then I have a few days off."

"I'm glad you'll get a break, but you don't need to be sorry," I assured him. "Even though it has been kinda weird. It's crazy that a few months ago, we only ever saw each other in passing, but now I miss you when you're busy for even a few hours."

It was true. I had missed him the last few days and it did seem ridiculous when we used to go weeks without seeing each other and even then it was just briefly at a pick up or drop off. I'd been spoiled the last few months, having so much of his time. Now, seeing him every day wasn't even enough if I didn't have much of his undivided attention.

A brief flash of dread tore through me as I shared that thought with Chris because I knew this would all come to an end some day. We couldn't stay locked away in his house forever, eventually we would both have to go back to work and I knew it would make things harder. Some people found that the intense quality time was testing their relationship, but I was worried that we'd start to crumble as soon as we weren't together almost twenty-four hours a day. Once the world of Hollywood got it's claws back in Chris, I couldn't help but wonder where that would leave me.

But as always when those thoughts filled my mind, I did my best to push them away. It was likely still months before anything would change so there was no point in stressing about it now and Chris chuckled, bringing me back to the moment.

"Awe, you’ve missed me?"

His words were accompanied by a cocky smirk and I smiled despite my rolling eyes.

"Shut up."

"It's sweet. I never thought you'd be a clingy kinda girlfriend."

I wrinkled my nose in displeasure at that thought and shook my head.

"I'm not clingy!"

"Kinda sounds like you are," he pointed out. "Can't even get through a work day without pining for me."

"I wasn't pining!" I huffed, but he continued insisting that it seemed like I was. "Well, I was just about to suggest we get out of this bath, but now I think maybe you don't deserve what I was thinking of doing next."

"Get out? You just got in," Chris pointed out with a raised eyebrow. "What else have you got planned?"

Now it was my turn to smirk as I rested my hands on the side of the tub before pushing up until I was standing in front of him.

"A little extra relaxation," I told him, deliberately keeping it vague. "But I guess now, you'll never know."

I stepped out of the tub and grabbed my towel. With one last glance back at Chris who was still sitting in the bath, looking a mix of surprised and intrigued, I wrapped the towel around myself and left the bathroom - making sure to sway my hips a little more than usual on my way out.

I heard the water slosh as Chris leapt up to follow me and he appeared in the bedroom - towel around his waist and water dripping to the floor - moments later.

"Chris!" I laughed. "You're getting the floor all wet!"

"So are you," he pointed out. "But I don't care."

I hardly had time to take in his words before he strode swiftly across the room and pulled me against his chest. His hands gripped my hips so tightly that it undid my towel and he moved just briefly enough for it to fall to the floor. Once that was out of the way, he captured my lips in a kiss so fierce it made my breath catch in my chest.

I indulged for a moment, enjoying the feel of his hands roaming by body as his lips worked against mine, but then I remembered who this evening was supposed to be about. I pulled back slightly, just enough to trail my lips across his jaw and locked them onto a spot just below his ear as my hands moved to the towel around his waist. I could feel a slight bulge pressing against me - he wasn't hard yet, but it was clear that the anticipation was having an effect on him - and I untucked the towel and let it fall down with mine to give me easier access.

I heard Chris take in a shaky breath and felt him tighten his grip on me as I took him in my hand. Smiling against his skin and enjoying his little reactions, I stroked him until he was thick and full from my touch.

"Get on the bed."

Chris' tone was demanding and there was definitely a part of me that wanted to follow his instructions, but I resisted and moved my face away from where it was buried in his neck, shaking my head.

"No, this is all about you," I reminded him. "You need to relax."

He voiced a few protests as I kissed my way down his chest, but he fell silent as I dropped to my knees in front of him. His hands were clenched in fists by his side while I continued to gently stroke him, placing soft kisses on the top of his thigh, but when my kisses moved closer until my lips landed on his cock, his hands shot to grip in my hair. He wasn't forcing anything or trying to control my movements, but the sense of control that action gave him was something I knew he enjoyed and I smiled before getting down to business.

I licked him slowly from base to tip, making him shudder as I took him into my mouth. His hips twitched, pushing farther in and I did my best to accommodate him. Letting him slide slowly over my tongue, I stretched my jaw to get my mouth around his thick shaft. He always felt big - he was big - but this action made it even more apparent and I took as much of him as I could before sliding back up his cock.

Pausing for a moment to suck at the tip, I used my hand to stroke him as I lifted my eyes to look up at his face. His hand gripped my hair tighter as he threw his head back briefly, then returned his gaze to me and met my eyes. I smiled around his cock before letting my lips move farther down, taking him back in my mouth. Not feeling completely confident in my ability to deep throat someone of his size, I used my hand to cover the base and began to bob my head with renewed enthusiasm, spurred on by all the sighs and groans that were falling from his lips.

I could feel myself growing wet. His reactions, the position we were in, the slight tug of my hair - it was all overwhelming me and increasing the temptation to let him fall from my mouth, push him onto the bed and ride him until we both couldn't take it anymore, but I tried to stay focused as I worked his cock.

After a few minutes, I could tell he was getting close as his grip on my head began leading me more and more, a sign his self control was waning. That only spurred me on, but as his breathing shifted until he was practically panting and I could feel his thigh muscles tensing where my hand was resting, I heard a sound that would kill any mood.

"Mama!"

Grayson's voice floated down the stairs. It was distant and quiet, but enough to make my blood run cold as I instantly pulled my mouth off Chris.

"Fuck," Chris groaned, a pained look on his face as I shot up from where I was kneeling. "Fuck, that kid has bad timing."

Gray called for me again, sounding slightly closer than he had before and I threw on one of Chris' shirts that was crumpled up on the bed. Luckily, it fit me like a dress and covered everything that needed to be covered.

"I'm so sorry, babe," I flashed him an apologetic look. "I'll take care of him and you can take care of that."

I gestured to his still very hard and throbbing cock and the poor man looked like he wanted to cry as I hurried out of the room.

Turns out, Grayson was just thirsty so after a quick drink of water, I tucked him back into bed. By the time I returned to our bedroom, Chris was fast asleep as he lay sprawled out, still naked on top of the duvet. It looked as if he had just collapsed onto the bed and even though he was asleep, his face still showed his exhaustion. I felt a flash of sympathy as I pulled the blanket off the back of the chair in the corner of the room and covered him up with it, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before climbing in to my side of the bed.

-

August

Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @firoozehmoon @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker @mytbel0st @chvntelle-99

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans smut #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fic #chris evans one shot #chris evans x ofc #chris evans rpf #once bitten/more hearts #only for a moment

[enigma-im]

Tenth day of Christmas...

Trope: Soulmate

Relationship: Alien x Human

Word count: 5,282

A lazy Saturday night. No responsibilities, nowhere to be, just me, and my tv. I quickly change into my pajamas, ready to plop myself on the couch for the rest of the day. Grabbing my phone on the way out of my room I swipe through messages, ignoring a great portion of them in favor of total isolation. Just me and my shows tonight.

A chill runs over my neck before I hit my shin against something hard. Arching forward I cradle my leg with a restrained curse barely sitting on the tip of my tongue. I look down at the sudden coffee table before me, it's bright white design polar opposite to my dark aesthetic in my home. I glance around the room, running cold at the unfamiliar environment. Everything is bright and illuminated, the furniture the only dark thing in here besides the baseboards lining the walls. I gawk in utter confusion.

"Who are you," someone barks, rolling into a growl. I snap my attention to some…thing standing just behind me. I twist towards them quickly, taking a few steps back as I take them in. Tall is my first thought, followed closely by bright. The creature is an alluring shade of blue, a mix of dark and light around its face. The top of its head is skin like hair that looks slicked back. It's almost like dreadlocks in their thickness. Average looking human eyes but a long mouth with thin lips. If it wasn't for the human-like stature I'd assume this was some sort of monster. The clothes are a slightly comforting touch. All around it's a rather disgusting looking man…alien…monster…thing.

He takes a threatening step towards me, shouting again," Who are you? How did you get into my home?" I choke on an answer, still confused and lost. Jerking my head here and there I take in the room, still just as weirded out. Where am I? who is this thing? I curl into myself, panting heavily as I panic. The thing takes another step, catching my attention again.

"Answer me, human," he spits the words," How did you get here?" I flounder for an answer, gawking like a fish as I try to talk.

"I-I-I," I try to speak," don't know." He recoils at the answer, before looking stricken. His lips peel back into a snarl, showing off sharp intimidating teeth. I nearly whimper at the sight, feeling like prey at this moment. He charges at me.

"Out, out, out," he shouts. I take frantic steps back till my back hits a wall. He corners me easily, grabbing at my shoulders. I shut my eyes, clenching up for the oncoming attack.

I'm greeted with silence.

I peek open my eyes to see my familiar bedroom. Uncertain, I curl my hands against my chest and look around the room. I see my bed, my vanity, the slightly ajar door to my bathroom. There is no sight of the alien man. I quickly bolt to my closet, grabbing my bat before checking the apartment. I walk to every room, ready to take on the horrid monster.

I clock out of work, heading to my car. Hooking up my phone I jam out to some tunes while I sort my work attire out. Setting my name tag in the cup holder and tossing the apron to the passenger seat. Before I can press the brakes I see a light bright enough for me to force my eyes closed. I feel my seat sink, a weightless feeling taking me for a moment. I open my eyes.

Coming up empty I manage to circle back to my room, confused and hurt. I rub at my chest, trying to ease this great discomfort. Setting the bat by the door I curl up in bed, forgoing my lazy Saturday night.

It's weeks after the incident and I'm left feeling like it was all a dream. There were no odd moments after that one, surely it was some strange mishap of imagination. I actually begin to forget it as the month comes to an end, though a strange emptiness stirs in my stomach. The feeling is worse at night, leaving me to cuddle with my pillows to ease it minorly.

I look into the barely familiar room, clenching onto the armrest to a chair. Terrified I look all around, spotting the strange man in a small kitchenette. We make eye contact, both of us startled. He recovers faster than I.

"You! What are you doing back in my house," he shouts, storming over. I sink further into the seat, nails biting into the wooden rests.

"I don't kn-," I try to explain.

"I don't want you here, how are you coming back," he barks, angrier than our first meeting. I try to explain again but he shouts over me. His words are harsh, accusing me of things I didn't do. As I attempt to speak over him he just gets louder till I feel near tears with all the stress.

"Stop coming here, I don't want you," he grabs at my hand," how did you manage to get in here in the first place? Humans do not possess the wit to get here on their own, so tell! Answer me! How did you get here?" I tug on my arm, trying to get out of his grip.

"I don't know," I scream," I don't know, so please stop yelling at me." I feel ridiculous as I'm near tears but I feel the situation calls for it on some level. I didn't mean to be here, it's not my fault.

The man stumbles at my shout, letting me go as he takes a step back. I curl into myself, wrapping my arms around my body, and tuck my feet up on the chair. He watches me, angry but lost. I glare up at him, fighting back the stinging in my eyes. My chest feels sore.

"I don't know where I am and I just want to go home," I plead, gritting my teeth. He furrows his brow, sneering as he reaches out and touches my arm. Before I can attempt to fight back I'm back in my car.

Looking around the dark parking lot I fall lax once I realize my position. I whimper as an ache squeezes at my chest. Leaning forward and banging my head on the steering wheel I take a deep breath, then a few more.

There is sadly a next time.

Can't write that one off as a dream.

I wait for the next few days anxiously. Trying to convince myself of 'two is a coincidence, three's a pattern' does little to soothe me. I could only hope that those two incidents were flukes. My nerves try to get the best of me but I know better. I get angry every time I think back, mad at how some harsh words could get me near tears. No man, alien or otherwise, is allowed to get such an upper hand on me. I promise myself indifference the next time I see that jerk.

I'm taken from my shower, to my misfortune. Covered only in a towel I stand in the bright living room, flustered and angry. The alien stands before me, arms crossed as he gives me a once over. As his gaze meets mine he quirks his brow. I tighten the towel around myself, glaring all the while.

"Caught you at a bad time I see," he says nearly bored. I huff, walking around the chair to hide my lower self. As I twist around I catch him tilting his head to follow me with his eyes. I snap my fingers at him, catching his attention. "send me back," I demand. He recoils in disgust at my command.

"No, I'm not some servant to make a request from. Also, I need to talk with you," he answers. I scoff, twisting away. Talk with me? Does this conversation involve more yelling and blame? I'm wet, cold, and flustered. I've been tense all week waiting for this exact moment to happen and I rather not spend another second here.

"No," I grumble.

"Excuse me," he bites back. I turn towards him, sneering.

"No, I don't want to talk with you. Send me back and keep it that way," I growl, a tad proud at the sudden backbone I've grown. He scoffs, shifting weight to his other leg.

"Do you believe that I intend for you to keep coming back," he asks the rhetorical question," because trust me, I don't want you around as much as you don't want to be around."

"Oh really? Haven't noticed," I tease," you have been so friendly up until now."

He rolls his eyes," sarcasm, such a low form of wit." I bite my tongue from throwing a remark back.

"Doesn't matter, send me back," I demand.

"Not until we talk," he shoots back. I tense in pure frustration. I'm near-naked and confused, I don't need this right now. Twisting away from him I fold my arms over my chest. He can talk if he wants but I don't have to answer.

The alien sighs," if I give you something to wear then will you talk with me?" I check on him from the corner of my eye. He looks as tired as I feel at that moment. Reluctantly I nod.

He exits the room, coming back shortly with a long shirt. Handing it to me he turns around, leaving me to put the shirt on and tying the towel around my waist. I sit in the chair as he sits on the couch. The silence is almost as bad as the yelling. I clear my throat, trying to bait him into speaking first. He sighs.

"Well I think the best way to start is with an introduction," he shrugs," I'm Egil, a Birger."

"Hello Egil," I wave awkwardly, dropping my arm quickly," I'm Kari, a human. I think you knew that part though."

"yea," he scratches at his neck," I wanna make a deal with you, Kari. We are in a bit of a bind that makes this little teleporting thing common. You see, we are important to one another according to a much higher power. I never chose this, let you know that now, and I'd prefer it if this little…situation… wasn't permeant." I squint at him, confused.

"What?"

He sighs, rubbing at his face," my people have a very interesting power that most of the galaxy favors. With that power comes a 'blessing' that brings another being to us when the time is right. Now I thought this someone would be a, well, another Birger. That's clearly not right so I just have to make do. So I'm asking for you to bear with this little inconvenience for a little longer until it runs its course and we can go our separate ways."

I process his words, rolling them around in my head. A special someone? Am I the special someone? What does he mean by 'run its course'? I think of a proper way to articulate my words to get across how utterly lost I am in this conversation. I look between his beautiful lavender eyes.

"What?"

He drops his head in his hands, rubbing at his eyes harshly before he snaps," you are my mate and if we wait a bit then you will stop being sent to me. So I ask can we just be civil until this stops?"

I taste the words on my tongue," Soulmate?"

He rests his chin on his hand," sure, soulmates. That's not the point, do you agree to be civil until this all blows over?" my brain flips flops. I take a moment to actually let the words settle before I speak. I cross my legs, resting my elbow on my knees and leaning forward.

"So you have soulmates and you think I'm them-,"

"You are," he interrupts.

"- so you want to ignore it because of why exactly?"

"Because it won't work, obviously," he answers casually.

I quirk a brow," because I'm human or because you can see the future?"

He snorts, recoiling in mirth," do you want to be my mate?"

"No, of course not. I'm just asking because I know like thousands of people who would be jumping for joy in this situation and I'm trying to see if you don't see me as an option because your racist," I tease, baiting him a bit. He deadpans, not amused in the slightest.

"Deal or not, Kari," he asks.

"Yea, sure, whatever," I wave him off," are we done now? I'm catching a chill."

The few long conversations we have had were surprisingly pleasant. When he isn't being a grump he can be downright enjoyable to be around. I can almost see how we could work together but I trash that idea when he starts getting snappy again.

He scoffs," yea, sure." standing he reaches over and touches my shoulder, sending me back home.

The next month is filled with annoying moments of being sent away. At first, it was mainly when I was at home, which was better than later when I was sent from work. In those moments Egil is kind enough to promptly send me back. In my more relaxed moments, he pulls me into a conversation, though he sounds bored with it most of the time. I look on the bright side of these meetings, learning what I can about him and aliens.

I try to go on with my life as normal, going out with friends and shopping when I can. I've been blessed to not be taken away in front of everyone. Almost like the teleporting has some know-how on good times and bad times. Though the shower one will never be forgiven.

Lounging against Egil's couch I listen to him explain how his planet's seasons work. It was started with me complaining about the cold in my apartment. He seems to be in a better mood today, talking animatedly about his favorite season. I admire him, finding the twinkle in his eye charming.

"You know when you aren't being a grouch you are nice to be around," I say casually as he takes a short pause in his rant. He stumbles on his next words, turning to me confused.

"What? You think I'm a grouch," he asks.

I shrug, laying against the couch," you get in your feelings a lot and it tends to spoil a meeting."

"In my feelings? I don't follow."

I watch him fidget a bit," you seem to sulk into yourself and I can't get you out of it no matter how much baiting I do. I prefer it when you are speaking animated like right now. You seem to enjoy talking about science and the inner workings of your planet. It's nice." he flusters at the compliment. His cheeks turn a strange dusty purple. I smile to myself at the sight.

"Well, science is entertaining but many people don't care to listen to it often. I can't blame them, I can see how hearing someone ramble for hours about biology and the workings of plants during different temperatures. It's just so cool how the weather can drastically change how a tree will present itself. I mean it just knows the correct way to arrange itself to get the most it can from the sun and I ju-," he glances over at me, sighing," sorry, I'm rambling."

I wave him off," no, go on. I have nothing to do tonight and spending it alone in my apartment doesn't sound too exciting."

He chuckles," glad to hear I'm more entertaining than an empty living space."

Friday night I dress to the nines, truly trying my best. I'm not really optimistic about this becoming more than one date but a girl can try a little. I meet the guy at a set location, agreeing to walk together to dinner. When I see him I'm in awe at his look and my luck. I might owe my friend an apology and a thank you.

I shrug, gesturing for him to continue his rant. My chest feels a bit full when I hear him speak, which is far better than the empty feeling I gain when I'm sent home.

My friend kindly notices my melancholy as of late and sets me up on a cringey blind date. I couldn't help the depressed state I've been in lately. When she offered such a plan I was extremely reluctant. A blind date is for the sad and lonely, or socially impaired. I guess I would fall into one of the categories. I agree after a bit of encouragement.

We talk on the way to the restaurant, the conversation bright and exciting. The empty feeling I've felt lately is bearable in this man's presence. We get our seats and continue talking all through dinner. I'm tempted to invite him up to my apartment. Couldn't hurt to see where this will go.

I excuse myself to the bathroom before we leave. As I open the door I see the bright room I've gotten used to. My shoulders drop as I walk further inside looking for Egil.

"Egil," I call. I hear a creak behind me, twisting around I see Egil staring intently at my dress. Relieved, I step over to him," hey, I was in the middle of something important. Can you send me back?" he takes a moment to actually look up at me, quirking a brow.

"You look…fancy," he says his words carefully.

"Yea, I'm on a date. So can you send me back please," I ask again. His eyes trail down to my dress again, his head tilting as he appraises me. As my words sink in he snaps his attention back to me.

"A date," he frowns," with who?"

"A friend of a friend. I don't have time to talk, he is waiting outside right now. So please," I reach for him. My hand falls on his wrist, tugging him forward. He follows, looking a mix of frustrated and confused.

"Where are you two going," he asks instead of grabbing my shoulders. I huff.

"My place, now please," I shake his hand. He swats me away.

"Why you two going to your place," he asks like an upset father.

"Egil, I'm not going to spell it out for you. Now, please," I reach for him again. He grips my wrists, a tad too hard. His gritting teeth are the last thing I see before I'm back at the bathroom. I walk in feeling sick to my stomach. Passing the mirror I look at myself for a second.

It's a long while before I get sent back to him and it's a rather strange time. I head to bed that night, snuggling up in my sheets.

Why was he so angry?

I don't meet up with my date again after that night. After the meeting with Egil, I feel a little mixed up. He is always a grump, that's normal, but this time was more than mild annoyance. Was he angry with me? That idea picks at me. Why would he be angry?

I wake shortly later to some loud thud. Groaning I twist on my bed, running into a wall I wasn't prepared for. Confused, I look at the couch I'm strewn across. I sit up looking around the dimly lit white room.

"Egil," I call out tired. I get no answer. Getting up off the couch I step around towards the kitchenette spotting Egil sitting on the floor lounging against the cabinets. "Egil," I catch his attention. He bobs his head up, smacking it lightly against the wood behind him.

"Oh, great, it's you," he pulls a drink up to his lips," how was your date." he spits the words. I take in the scene before me, Egil sitting disorganized on the floor with an unknown bottle in hand. He sways a bit, looking distraught.

"Are you drunk," I ask.

He chuckles," of course. What else is there to do at a time like this?"

"Sleep, if I had to suggest something," I joke, more nervous than amused right now. He snorts a loud laugh.

"Funny," he points at me, waving his drink around," one of the traits that bruise me so easily. Like a fruit falling out of a tree and hitting the ground too hard." I quirk a brow. Alright, he is drunk.

"Poetic, I think it's time for you to get some sleep," I crouch before him," you think you can make it to your bed after you send me back?" he sneers, rolling his head against the cabinets.

"Always with that damn demand," he takes another swig," I don't want to do that anymore." I huff. I guess I'm relaxing here tonight. Reaching forward I grab his arm to tug him up.

"Alright, time for bed, Egil," I help him stand. He stumbles as he gets to his feet, bumping into me. I steady him, holding his waist. He takes the moment to swing his arm around me, nearly making me fall as he drops on me.

"What was that outfit your wore the last time," he mumbles near my face, the stank of his alcohol burning my nose.

"My dress," I ask as we make the trek to his bedroom.

"Yea, the dress," he grins, giggling like an idiot," I liked it."

"Thank you, my mother got it for me," I answer as we reach his door. I swing it open, tugging him in. He bumps and nudges me till he falls onto his bed. I take the relief to catch my breath, he is a rather heavy and sloppy drunk. Couldn't hold at least some of his own weight?

He turns onto his back, kicking off his footwear with a dopey grin on his face. Sliding up the bed he looks to me, gesturing me over. In my experience with drunks, this I what we call a bad idea. I take a step closer, still a good enough distance to get out of reach. He gestures me closer. I don't budge, he sneers. Snatching my wrist he tugs me closer, using his other hand to cup the back of my neck. My face is uncomfortably close to his.

"You have the prettiest eyes," he pets at the back of my neck," like weeping gems in the deepest caves of Turmore. Which is fitting because your beauty is so grand it nearly makes me weep in pure joy." I glare at him utterly confused. I gulp hard.

"Are you always like this when drunk," I nearly squeaked. He shrugs, dropping my wrist to pet at my face.

"You bring out the weird in me," he scrunches his nose.

"Ok," I grab his hands and push them away," you need to sleep, I'll be on the couch." I try to take a step back but he pulls me back.

"No," he whines, pulling harder. I fight against him, trying hard not to fall on the bed. With a well-timed tug, I'm pulled against his chest and twisted onto my back. Leaning on his forearm and stretching the other on the opposite side of my head he glares down at me. His stare is hard and focused unlike before. I look between his eyes, waiting with bated breath for his next move.

Egil lowers himself till his lips are near my ear," I want to tell you something."

"y-yea," I try to turn to him but my cheek bumps his. His answer is to kiss my cheek. My heart flutters in my heart like a loose door in a storm. I'm stuck between uncomfortable and uncontrollably excited.

"I don't like our deal anymore," he bumps his head against mine," I feel more and more idiotic for suggesting it."

"why," I shift back to look at him. His eyes are barely open, either from the drink or something else. It doesn't look erotic but he keeps acting this way. He shifts so he can grab my hip, petting me with his thumb.

"I was stupid," he falls to his side, resting his head on his pillow," I was scared of you. Now I'm terrified of you."

"What," I ask offended. I try to crawl out from under him but he circles his hands around my thighs and rests his head on my chest.

"You like our conversations and you're really funny. I don't want to stop seeing you," he rubs his face against my shirt," please don't stop seeing me." his grip a bit harder, trying his hardest to not let me have an inch to get out. I pet at his head, trying to placate him.

"It's alright," I coo," I'm not leaving, I'm right here."

He grunts," for how long?"

"let's just live in the now, Egil. Let me up and try to get some sleep, I'll be here in the morning," I try to push him off. He clenches harder, looking up with his chin pressed against my sternum.

"You can sleep here," he suggests.

"No, that's not appropriate," I scold. He snickers, leaning up and pressing a kiss to my neck.

"Neither is pushing your mate away but I already did that," he makes me shutter as he licks my skin. I take a deep breath, very caught off guard with his attentions.

"How about we talk about this in the morning," I offer," just go to sleep." he grunts, pressing his face in the crook of my neck. I can't bother to try and push him away, somehow enjoying the weight of him on me. I pet at his head, trying to lull him to sleep.

"Good night, love," he brushes his nose against my jaw.

His eyes flutter open, closing as he grins. He stretches, tugging me close, and bumping his head against mine. It's after a moment that he stiffens, pushing me away as he sits up. Laying on the opposite side of the bed I watch his startled expression. He looks from himself to me then the bed. His features strain into a frown.

I sigh," Good night, babe."

I wake the next morning to soft snoring rumbling near my ears. Taking a deep breath I peek my eyes open, looking at Egil lounging on me. His arm is thrown over my chest, hugging me close to him as he sleeps. I take the quiet moment to admire him, look at his lax features. The urge to pet his face is strong. I give into it for a moment, feeling his soft skin on his cheek.

"Don't get grumpy," I yelp. He relaxes partially, more confused than anything.

"Why are you in my bed," he asks.

I chuckle half-heartedly," I've heard a similar question when we first met."

"Kari," he says sternly," please explain."

I fluster, grabbing the blanket to cover most of myself," I don't wanna."

"Why?"

"Because you might get mad or embarrassed," I answer. That doesn't seem to help as he scoots farther away.

"Kari, I'm asking nicely, what happened?"

I nibble my cheek as I debate answering. Surely sober him wouldn't have the same ideas at drunk him. Does he honestly want me to stick around? Will he want to hear about how he kissed and licked my body before falling asleep half on top of me?

Will he still think my eyes are pretty?

"You got drunk. That's it," I answer quickly," I put you into bed and you didn't want me to sleep on the couch because you are so kind. So you let me use your bed and here we are."

His brow furrows," Is that all?"

I hide under the blanket some more," No."

"Kari," he scolds," what did I say?" I debate lying, saving his feelings-and mine- from this recap. Nibbling on my cheek I try to gain some courage.

Peaking over the blanket I ask," do you really regret making that deal with me?"

Egil stiffens, grabbing a fist full of blankets in a harsh grip. I wince at his discomfort. I bet if he regrets anything right now it's saying that last night. He takes a moment for himself, looking towards the room before meeting my eyes. He sighs, dropping his chin towards his chest.

"Yes, more than anything," he grumbles. I nearly pop up from under the blanket like a whack-a-mole.

"Really," I ask," I mean, why?"

He winces, shrugging as he thinks of an answer. "I don't know. A lot of reasons. I just think not having you around anymore would be…a great loss. Having you as a friend has been great and I don't want that to end."

"You want to keep me around as a friend," I ask, feeling a stab at my heart for such a lacking suggestion. Does he only see us as friends? I don't want to be brazens and assume that we can be much more but…it couldn't hurt.

He sighs," No, I don't think I could muster the strength to keep things platonic with you. Especially after seeing you in that dress."

I grin," better than the towel?" he peaks at me, giving a teasing smile. It feels easy to talk with him like that, the tension already ebbing away.

Feeling brave I shift the blanket off myself and crawl over towards him, stopping as our legs touch. I hesitate to touch him, using stubborn courage to grab at his hands.

"Egil," I start," I don't know a lot about all this and you suck completely at trying to explain it. Yet, I can feel something here and it's beginning to grow. I really want to know now, before it's too late, if you honestly want to give this a try. Ever since the night with the dress I haven't been able to get that angry scowl out of my mind. I don't want to ever see you angry. Grumpy is fine but angry, I can't handle it. It made me realize that I want to make you happy and being here with you is the one way I know for sure that I can make that happen. So, do you want to try?"

Egil squeezes my hand, watching me in harden focus. I wait for his answer, craving his answer. The battle is clear on his face as he tries to think of something, anything, to say. In the end, he just grabs my face and tugs me into a kiss.

It's surprising at first, to feel his thin, long mouth against mine. Yet, his sweet taste draws me in as I cup his face. He tells me all I need to know in just a simple action. Though he is a man of many words, this moment didn't demand such talent. I part from him to rest my head against his.

"I want a date night with you," I smile, feeling silly demanding such a thing.

"What's a date night," he asks.

"Dinner, movies, cuddling and kissing on the couch," I answer. He nods, thinking about it.

"Will you wear that dress again," he perks up. I press a sweet kiss to his mouth.

"If you want," I smirk.

"Then it's a date, hopefully, I'll get to see you in the towel next time," he flirts. I scoff, playfully hitting his chest. He laughs, tugging me into a hug and another kiss. I pet at his cheek, smiling like a dork.

"Maybe if you play your cards right, I'll be in less than a towel."

He growls in excitement.

#12 days of christmas #12 tropes for christmas #Enigma-IM #monster boyfriend #alien boyfriend #alien x human #soulmate #exophilia

[jackson--t]

Hi ! I hope you're doing well. I've had an idea for a one shot and though I could write it myself I don't think it could ever come out as beautiful as if you would write it so here it is.

I was thinking of Ivar and Heahmund as a couple. They haven't really had to spend too much time away from each other because whenever ine traveled with work the other would come along so maybe this time Ivar has to go alone because it's urgent and Heahmund can't come along cause he's stuck at work and unable to take a few days off. I was thinking Ivar would be so homesick. Like unable to sleep and stuff. And though he would have had to spend around a week away he won't be able to stay away for so long and return 3 days later and surprises Heahmund and they cuddle q lot and Ivar barely let's Heahmund go anywhere because he's touch starved.

You don't have to write it. It's just an idea but if you fancy it and want to I would feel honored to have my idea written by you and also very happy. Thank you ! Love ya!

Hello my dear, and I feel so honored that you want me to write this idea of yours! ❤️ As I already told you, it was a huge pleasure for me as I can identify myself with that situation very well, and I really hope that you like what I wrote and it turned maybe a little bit out the way you wanted it. Thank you so much! ❤️

Three days

Words: ~ 3k.

It's all pure fluff and stuff, and a bit of missing, obviously. xD

Ivar clenched his hand lightly around Heahmund's; he had been afraid, damned afraid of this day that was coming anyway - and it had just been there far too quickly, far too fleetingly, and most of all - far too hard.

He could feel Heahmund squeezing his hand a little tighter as well, but the big man only smiled slightly, while Ivar could already feel the tears in his eyes.

"I can't do that, no. I'd rather be out of a job." he snarled tensely, while Heahmund let out a soft snort. They had arrived at the final departure lounge, where he would soon be leaving - and where Ivar would have to say a final goodbye to Heahmund.

They had been a couple for maybe two years, had been through many ups and downs together - but they had never been apart for long. The longest they had spent without each other was one day. And that was only because Ivar had been far too offended at the time and had missed his bus when he had changed his mind after all. In that night, Ivar had sworn to himself that he would never again spend even one night apart from Heahmund - which had generally worked out well. When one of the two had to travel, they had taken each other with them. One had taken time off, the other was working; in this way they had been able to discover many places together. But this time it had been different. Since Heahmund had an important job to do, he couldn't take time off - just when Ivar had to fly away for a week for his job.

It was the first time Ivar had seriously considered just quitting; it was one thing to go to work and have your partner back in bed with you in the evening; but something completely different to have to go to sleep without him. The thought of it sent deep goosebumps down Ivar's body, and he sighed deeply.

"Honey, you're hurting me. It's only a week.", Heahmund said in a relaxed manner, trying to lightly release his hand from the clamp-like grip of Ivar's warm fingers; however, Ivar shook his head. Breathe in, breathe out, he told himself; but his eyes betrayed him. It wasn't really a tear that ran lightly from the corner of his eye, but Heahmund saw it anyway.

He made a soft clicking sound with his tongue and wrapped his arms tightly around the middle of Ivar's body; Ivar buried his face deep in Heahmund's black jacket, breathing in deeply the smell of his boyfriend. God, how he would miss him. Already his body felt drained, and his heart area became terribly heavy.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Heahmund. What are you going to do without me? Who's going to cook for you? And don't you dare meet anyone else.", Ivar mumbled dully into Heahmund's jacket, and he wrapped his arms tighter around Heahmund as he laughed softly and melodically.

"Babe, I'm not seeing anyone else. And besides, I'll probably survive a week without you! What are delivery services for, huh?" Heahmund replied, lifting Ivar's chin with a slight movement; Ivar blinked.

"Still. I should stay here." he grumbled, and Heahmund laughed softly.

"I have something for you that will comfort you a little. I know you always claim you don't like these things and are too old for them - but you always hug your bear very fiercely for that when I come home at night. That's why...", Heahmund said and pulled something out of his jacket pocket; it was a small stuffed animal, a small, soft hyena, wearing a dark blue ribbon around its neck. Ivar had to swallow; he took the stuffed animal carefully in his hands and then blinked very gently up at Heahmund, who looked at him with a smile.

"A hyena! You remember I was particularly fond of those?" he murmured softly, and Heahmund nodded as his hand went lightly to the back of Ivar's neck.

"Sure. You took about 200 pictures, and you kept stressing how much you'd like one yourself, and that you'd keep it in the bedroom."

"In the bathroom, so it could have a tub!"

"Of course!" Heahmund snorted in amusement; through the hall came the distinct and final call for Ivar's Gate, and the voice again sent a terrible shiver down Ivar's spine. He pressed himself as tightly as he could against Heahmund and sobbed slightly; Heahmund's warm fingers stroked through his hair, which for once he had not braided today, and which was just wildly disheveled. Who else was he going to make himself pretty for when his future husband wasn't around?

"Shhht, it's going to be okay, Ivar. You have to go now.", Heahmund said softly; Ivar knew it was time, but he found it extremely difficult to let go of the warm and familiar body and the familiar, beloved smell.

They kissed firmly and as long as they could; before Heahmund softly broke the kiss and smiled at Ivar once more. "You call me as soon as you land, okay? And no cell phone on the plane!" he said with a wink, and Ivar rolled his eyes.

He wiped away the last of his tears and hugged the hyena tightly before shuffling towards his gate with infinitely heavy feet. He looked after Heahmund for as long as he could - and when his dearly beloved guy disappeared behind him, the whole feeling in his body became really crushing. He tried to calm himself down the aisles to the plane and not show his tears - which worked well as long as he kept chewing his lower lip and answering all questions from stewardesses and staff only with a dull nod.

But it wasn't until he was sitting in his seat on the plane that all his emotions suddenly came rushing up - especially when he put the little hyena down on his lap and squeezed it tightly. He knew it was Heahmund's way of letting him know he was there - but the takeoff still sucked. Normally, during airplane takeoffs, Ivar always held Heahmund's hand, and always huddled slightly against Heahmund's shoulder out of fear; now that he wasn't there, the plane takeoff was a thousand times worse for Ivar.

The flight itself went by quickly, it was also only two hours. But the first day in his seminar from work was not great. Ivar found it awful to keep in touch with Heahmund only through his cell phone. Every two minutes he glanced at the screen, waiting to receive another heart, or an "I love you, I miss you." He knew Heahmund was working, too - but his inner, offended side most wanted Heahmund to text him every second.

The distraction of the seminar made the day go by quickly, even though Ivar shut down easily; he barely listened, and when he fell into his bed at night, all the fierce violence of missing him came crashing down. It took him a few seconds, a few seconds and his little hyena, before he could breathe reasonably again and pull out his cell phone to call Heahmund.

"Hey, little guy. Are you okay?" Heahmund said; he sounded tired and exhausted, but tears immediately started to flow on Ivar's face.

"I want to go home, I don't feel like it anymore! I'm homesick as hell, and I already know I can't sleep in this shitty bed! Heahmund, come get me. You can work from here too!" Ivar grumbled, sniffling as Heahmund laughed softly.

"Babe, you know I can't do that. I've really had a lot of conversations today, and I'm really, really knackered. I'm about to go to sleep too."

"You sound really tired too. But still... How am I supposed to sleep without you?" Ivar whined softly as Heahmund tossed and turned, Ivar heard it clearly. "And you're not supposed to sleep on the couch, Heahmund."

"I'm about to go to bed. Are you stalking me?"

"No, but I know our couch." Ivar said, smiling slightly; although tears were running slightly from his eyes, he could not hide the smile. He hugged the hyena a little more to his chest, imagining for a moment that it was Heahmund's warm hand; it helped a little.

"You are unique, at least your ears are. Which, after all, only hear what they want to hear. I miss you, Ivar."

Ivar swallowed hard. "I miss you too."

"We can talk on the phone with video tomorrow, I'm really too tired today."

"All right. Sleep well, and don't touch yourself too much! I want the full load when I get back.", Ivar grinned slightly, and he heard Heahmund snort exactly: it was the snort that Ivar knew quite well he was imagining him naked, with Ivar lying underneath him, moaning and whimpering.

"Of course. The same goes for you. I want you trembling and fucking starved with me," Heahmund replied; "...I love you. If there's anything, get in touch!"

"I love you, too. Will do."

As soon as he hung up, Ivar's heart grew heavy again, terribly heavy. He felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, almost crushing him. It was such a sickening feeling to be lying alone in this bed, so many miles from Heahmund.

"You're 20, you can do it," Ivar whispered to himself as he tucked himself in and snuggled comfortably. But no matter what he did, he couldn't sleep.

His thoughts kept circling around Heahmund, and his body and soul missed the man next to him just terribly. Ivar had the feeling that his body was in severe withdrawal, that he simply needed Heahmund to function at all. He remembered the smell, the so familiar smell of Heahmund's neck and chin as they lay over Ivar's head, taking him in; he remembered his fingers always sliding over Heahmund's chest, sometimes on shaved, smooth, skin, sometimes on something hairier... but either way, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world to sleep in Heahmund's warm embrace.

For as long as Ivar could remember, he had always slept with his head on Heahmund's chest or shoulder; he couldn't think of an evening when they hadn't somehow fallen asleep without physical contact. Even on the hottest summer nights, Ivar would always curl up against Heahmund's back like a little hedgehog, holding at least his one arm, no matter how much Heahmund grumbled in his half-sleep.

It was simply his means of falling asleep, of waking up, of feeling good all around. But now, so alone in this hotel room, he felt completely lost and abandoned. The pain after Heahmund's closeness was so gravely real that Ivar found it difficult to breathe normally at all; again and again small sobs interrupted his breathing, and he pressed the hyena very tightly against him; unfortunately, it no longer bore any traces of Heahmund's scent, and only now did Ivar remember that he had forgotten to pack a worn shirt of Heahmund's - and it was so bad for him in those seconds that he burst into sheer tears, which only subsided when he eventually fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next two days were an absolute nightmare for Ivar. He didn't want to and couldn't eat anything, hardly felt like doing anything with the others even though the weather was wonderful - and he cried so terribly after every phone call with Heahmund that he always had to calm down before he could do anything else.

This feeling didn't go away either, and it got worse. This terrible feeling that a very primary part of him was missing, that his better and more beautiful half was simply missing. This missing squeezed all the nice feelings out of him and took over almost his entire daily life - so much so, that on the third day he was fed up and pretended to be sick so he could fly home.

He didn't tell Heahmund about all the action, because he would have just said, "You can't do that," and put on his dad look, along with his glasses, which he needed to work. But Ivar didn't care what he would think; he wrote to a work colleague of Heahmund's beforehand and asked her if he was in the office - when she answered in the affirmative, Ivar decided that he would wait for him at home as a surprise.

It was like a warm hug when Ivar unlocked the door to their apartment and smelled the scent of Heahmund still in the air; his heart was still burning, and he could hardly breathe with excitement - but finally he was home again.

Ivar felt a little bad that he had lasted such a short time and had only managed three days without Heahmund. But he knew that he would not have been able to stand it any other way, and no matter what Heahmund would say - he would just be glad to hold the man in his arms again. It would take away all the pain, and finally the endless burdensome pressure from his chest.

As he wandered through the apartment and looked around, he discovered slight chaos in some corners; but he was not angry. Rather, he smiled from the bottom of his heart, because he saw exactly that Heahmund seemed to need him in everyday life as much as Ivar needed him. As he was already unpacking his suitcase in the bedroom, he discovered the photo album of all their travels on Heahmund's bedside table; it was still open, and Ivar carefully took the book in his hands.

It showed a page with four pictures where they had been together in Egypt; there were pyramids in the background, and Ivar kissed Heahmund on the cheek while the older man grabbed his butt. It was a wonderful photo, and Ivar had to hold back his tears hard. It touched him more than anything that Heahmund had apparently looked at these pictures, even though he had seemed so tough on the phone. It was a moment that was so precious to Ivar - even though it was just a small, hidden detail in their otherwise great relationship.

As the evening approached, Ivar had almost prepared Heahmund's favorite meal; he had placed the little hyena in the hallway so that it would be the first thing the older man would see when he came into the apartment. And indeed - after a little while Ivar heard the lock of the door open, and someone standing in the hallway, puzzled. For a moment, nothing was heard - Ivar bit his lower lip in gleeful excitement before quietly sneaking around the corner of the hallway. He lurked around the corner and saw Heahmund perplexedly picking up the hyena and eyeing it in his hand, and once he had his eyes on this beautiful man, Ivar could wait no longer.

He jumped around the corner and threw himself into Heahmund's arms; the older man was a little startled, but he caught Ivar effortlessly and immediately took him deep and tight in his arms. He even lifted him up slightly with the embrace, and Ivar smiled broadly as Heahmund kissed him breathlessly, demanding.

"Oh fuck, I missed you so much, my little burglar." he murmured against Ivar's cheek, and Ivar took his face in both hands and kissed him again, firmly and intimately. Although tears were running down his cheek, he finally let go of that terribly heavy feeling of missing him, and he could finally breathe freely again. His arms wrapped around Heahmund's neck as tightly as he could, and the older man held him effortlessly in his strong arms.

"I escaped." Ivar admitted dryly, and Heahmund laughed softly.

"How did you do that again, huh?"

"I said I was too sick, and I just flew. Heahmund, I couldn't go on without you, I'm so damn starved and it hurt so much and... oh, the food!", Ivar groaned and pressed one last kiss on Heahmund before breaking free from the hug and running to the kitchen.

They spent a wonderful dinner together, and Ivar talked an incredible amount, though he didn't actually catch that much; but he was immensely satisfied when he was finally able to lie down in Heahmund's arms in the evening, and the older man pulled him into an intimate embrace on the sofa.

Ivar inhaled the smell of Heahmund deeply and firmly and swore to himself that he would never let him go - at most when he had to go to the bathroom. But that was it. Far too much had he missed the pressure of strong arms around him, and didn't want to be left alone for another minute.

When Heahmund wanted to get something to snack on from the kitchen, Ivar grumbled; but he clung with his arms around Heahmund's broad shoulders and let himself be carried like a little monkey all the way to the kitchen, where Heahmund finally had to laugh.

"What are you doing, huh? Are you my little spider monkey again?" he said, amused, and pushed Ivar onto the kitchen table; Ivar chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around Heahmund again, even though he actually wanted to go to the freezer to get some ice cream. But Ivar kept a tight grip on him, and additionally clamped his legs around Heahmund's hips.

The big man raised an eyebrow, slightly enraptured, and leaned down to Ivar; they kissed intimately, and Ivar felt Heahmund's warm hands slide under his shirt with a slight pleasant hum.

"Are you a little starved?" he murmured softly, and slowly began kissing Ivar's sensitive right side of his neck; a thousand butterflies raced through Ivar's body, and he opened his full lips slightly to let out a soft moan.

"Yes - starved for touch. After all, we have three days to make up, my big guy."

Heahmund's eyebrow rose again in rapture, and not a second passed before the two strong arms had Ivar firmly in their grasp once more, and they were kissing fiercely. And even as Heahmund pulled his shirt over his head in one fluid motion, he knew for sure that he never wanted to be without this man for even one more day. Fuck the job - he didn't need money.

He just needed the full love and absolute closeness of this incredible man with him, forever.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

@youbloodymadgenius @jadelynlace @punkrocknpearls (Uh, I don't remember if it was you who wanted to be tagged in stuff like this? xD Otherwise, I'm so sorry! <3)

#vikings #request #fluff #heavar #ivar x heahmund

[lihikainanea]

so it's summer and it's great but the heat is absolutely unforgiving. what if Tiger gets like, a reaction from the excessive sweat that this season brings and there's like a rash-like discoloration on the sides of her body, her back? I get these every summer and, it's hard to look at myself in the mirror when I put the cream on so they go away. I'm thinking Bill would help, but after Tiger lets him since she's a lil embarrassed and shy about them.

Ohhh bubs, I feel you. I have SUCH sensitive skin that I swear, I cry and then I have to spend like a week treating the eczema outbreak on my face that my own goddamn tears cause.

The heat and all that comes along with it can have some icky side effects and my girl tiger ain't spared. Heat rash? yep. Mild sun allergy that causes a rash? Yep. Hives because she's basically allergic to everything outside? Yep. Eczema outbreak because all the rashes are stressing her out? Yep.

Are we even going to talk about underboob and thigh chafe? Shit, yes we are because this is some real life BULLSHIT that most of us have to deal with.

And what if it's exactly that. Hear me out. She's been purposely avoiding getting nekkid with Bill for a few days--She's got this weird heat rash that's going down one side, itchy as all hell and red and bumpy. She manages to camouflage most of it with a loose fitting sundress, something of breathable material, but she just happens to need a strapless bra with it--and strapless bras are an Enemy of the Goddamn State, man. Maybe it's a nice cocktail hour at a schmancy new bar that opened so she's dressed cute, except one of her completely heat-resistant friends got them all a table outside because clearly this friend was born and raise din the fires of Hades, so a heatwave doesn't bother them. It's outside, and tiger is fucking dying. The sweat running down her side is making her itch even more and burning the sensitive, already-irritated skin there. She feels like she's fucking melting into a puddle under the blaze of the hot sun, which she's pretty sure is searing her make up off. She feels like a swamp monster.

And if that's not bad enough--the group decides to walk for ice cream after. They decide to walk QUITE a long ways for ice cream. And all that sweat that she has going underneath her dress is just making her bra dig into the fragile skin under her breasts, and the more her thighs rub together as she walks the more she can feel the chafe like, peeling off a layer of her fucking skin and she wants to die.

And Bill for his part is kind of walking a bit ahead with his boys, maybe it's been awhile since he's seen them so he's not keenly aware of the absolute hell that tiger is currently in. Until she snaps when, after ice cream, it's time to walk alllllllll the way back to the car.

"Fuck this," she mutters, "I'm out." And then a little louder. "Bill, I'm out."

He gives her a worried look, taking a few long strides until he's back with her.

"Okay kid," he says, "We can leave as soon as we get back to the car."

"Yep." She smiles, wide and scary--but doesn't move.

"It's...It's this way," he gestures somewhat helplessly to the direction everyone else continues walking in.

"Sure is."

She still doesn't move.

"....tiger?"

He jumps a mile when she lets out the loudest whistle he's ever heard, nearly giving him an uppercut as her hand shot up quickly. A cab came to a screeching halt, and she opened the door.

Confused but knowing better than to argue, Bill folded himself in half in the back seat as the cab drove them the 3 minute distance to the car.

"Are you....okay?" he asks cautiously as she buckles up her seatbelt in his car, and tiger just...man, tiger wants to go home. She's so uncomfortable, she's so itchy, everything burns, she's still overheated and she's just so over this night.

"I'm tired and too hot," she says instead, "Just take me home."

And like, look. Once they're home? Bill goes to unzip her dress because she always needs help with it, but tiger kind of smacks his hands away and huffs. He doesn't think much of it, she's just fussy and in a bad mood and she doesn't always want to be touched when she's feeling that way. And tiger, in the meantime, is just trying to locate either some calamine lotion or some cortisone cream or hell just a million ice packs that she can place on her side, between her thighs, under her breasts--everywhere that just seems on fire at the moment.

She heads to the bathroom, closing the door so she can rummage the cupboards in peace. She finally takes the dress off and flings her bra across the room and she winces at what she sees in the mirror. Her entire side is red and bumpy, an angry, itchy rash scaling up her torso. Tenderly, she rubs the skin under her breasts and bites her lip in pain--the skin there is raised, bright red, irritated and stinging. A quick check on her inner thighs reveals the same thing. She sighs, running the tap so that Bill won't hear her.

But listen, Bill? Bill just thinks she's washing her face, and he wanders in with a little whisky digestif and to see if he can entice her into taking a bubble bath with him. He opens the door and tiger shrieks, grabbing at a towel to cover herself--but not before he got a good view of what seems like half her body, bright red and irritated.

"Tiger," he gasps softly, "Kid what happened?"

"Bill get out," she squeaks, wrapping the towel around herself.

"No," he says. He yanks at her towel but she smacks his hand away.

"Bill," she says, a tad more angry now, "Leave me alone."

"No," he says again, "Tiger, show me."

"No."

"Tiger," it's his turn to be stern now, "We have rules. And so help me, if you don't drop that fucking towel then there will be another part of you that is bright fucking red. Now show me."

"It's okay," she sighs defeatedly, "It's just... a bit irritated."

She opens the towel a tad, showing him her side. Bill puts the whiskey glasses down and hold the towel open, leaning to get a closer look.

"What happened?" he asks softly, "Are you allergic to something?"

"No," she mumbles--god this is embarassing--"It's just...the heat. It gave me a bit of a rash that won't go away."

He nods, his eyebrows knitting together, and he tugs gently to undo the knot on her towel. When she protests he gives her a stern look and she sighs, letting him undo her covering. Gently, he runs his fingers along the side of her breasts and trail them down her rib cage.

"And here?"

"Strapless bra, sweat, and rubbing," she winces when he hits a sensitive spot and he apologizes, "Recipe for disaster."

He nods, his eyes sweeping over her looking for more markings.

"Anywhere else?" he asks after a beat. Tiger bites her lip, and he gently tugs it free with his thumb. She sighs, giving up, and rests her foot on the toilet so he can see her inner thigh.

"Dump truck thigh chafe," she says, "It's a killer."

He leans, kissing the marking softly.

"Oatmeal," he says as he stands and turns for the door, "A lukewarm oatmeal bath, and some calamine lotion."

"Bill, I'm handling it. It's not--"

But he spins back around.

"We. Have. Rules." every word is short, curt, and accentuated with a step as he backs her up to the tub and looms tall over her, "Don't we sweet girl?"

"Yes."

"And do you think that hiding this from me--spending the evening in discomfort and pain and not telling me anything--is that following the rules?" he asks. God he's authoritative when he's like this.

"Probably not?" she tries. A quick, challenging quirk of his brow and suddenly she's not so brave. "No, it's not following the rules."

"And trying to stop me from taking care of it when I do find out, is that following the rules?"

"No," she says meekly, "It's not."

"That's right, it's not," he says and he kisses her softly, "So you're going to let me take care of these markings, and then you're going to get some brand new ones."

And listen, Bill is more just pissed that tiger was in pain, clearly for at least a few days, and she didn't tell him. He's even more pissed that she sat there so uncomfortable that night, and also didn't tell him. But he puts his anger aside to care for her first--and an oatmeal bath it is, he gets in there with her and soaks while they sip their whiskey. And when they get out, he carefully dabs calamine lotion all over her--giving it a second to dry before pulling his big shirt over her head.

"Bedroom," he says, "Now."

Tiger slinks away--but also, man, what if our girl just ain't feeling it tonight? Yes, she was bad. Yes, she broke the rules. She's a little small about it but she's dealing okay, and truth be told she just...ugh, the thought of another patch of her skin being red and irritated and sore from a spanking is just kind of too much for her. It's a discomfort and a pain that she just doesn't feel up to dealing with tonight, after already spending so much time uncomfortable. SO maybe she's kneeling on his side of the bed when he comes in to find her, and as he approaches she just kind of thunks her head on his thigh, fiddles with the waistband of his boxers.

"Bill," she says softly, "Can I...can you punish me tomorrow for this? I've had enough discomfort for today. I don't want it."

Bill's heart could explode. He smiles at her--big and wide and totally dopey, hooks his hand around her arms and sets her on her feet gently.

"Good girl," he purrs, kissing her deeply, "My good girl."

She coos a little at that, and he tucks her into his chest for a tight hug.

"You tell me when you're ready to be punished kid, and we'll do it then," he tells her. She nods, and when he lays out in bed tiger just lies flat on his chest, sticks his thumb in her mouth, and starts snoring a few seconds later. Bill just lovingly tends to her for the next day or two--lukewarm baths, lots of calamine, lots of unscented soothing lotions--and then eventually after a few days when he's sitting on the couch playing a video game, tiger just walks in, shimmies out of her panties and lies across his lap.

"Let's have it bud," she tells him, "Make it hurt."

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill

[justabunchofcrowsinatrenchcoat]

It took me fifteen years, but I have finally realized the tragedy that is the treatment of Jacob Black in the Twilight Series. Hallelujah, I have seen the light. So here's a one shot of Bella making the RIGHT choice after the newborn battle in Eclipse.

Run to You

"You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know." (Haymitch, The Hunger Games)

-

I was exhausted. Worrying about my family and friends being hurt, or dying, trying to protect me was exhausting. Being a weak, defenseless human surrounded by supernatural creatures was exhausting. Constantly wondering when Edward would realize that I wasn't worth all of this trouble and leave (again) was exhausting. Not recognizing the person I had become; a person who was insecure and needy and selfish, was exhausting. And him. Trying to pretend that I wasn't in love with him was the most exhausting. And I didn't want to do it anymore.

-

I didn't get very far before driving became impossible. I just needed to make it a little bit farther, just get past the treaty line and then I could pull over to the side of the road. I could take a few minutes to pull myself together and everything would be fine. At least that's what I kept telling myself, but it was kind of hard to see how when the road was blurring in front of me. When I couldn't see anymore, I let my tires find the rough shoulder and roll slowly to a stop. My hands shook as I put my truck in park and then quickly, almost instinctively, wrapped around my stomach, as if trying to hold myself together. Well here we are again, a voice in the back of my brain said. How many times could a person's heart be ripped in half before it refused to heal? I slumped over on the seat and allowed the weakness I'd been fighting crush me. It was worse than I thought. Yes, I had been right to hide this. No one should ever see this. Also, I was pretty sure if he had, he never would have let me go. 

-

I wasn't alone for very long - I didn't even jump when I heard the tapping on the window of the truck. I worked to see through the relentless stream of tears obscuring my vision. There was someone standing outside of the truck, peering in through the driver's side window, probably wondering what the problem was. A blurry glimpse of a bare chest and short black hair caused my heart to clench so hard I gasped before realizing that it was just Quil. He must have been on patrol with some of the other wolves and spotted my truck on the side of the road. I pulled myself up off of the seat and fought with the door handle for a second before I was able to get it open. 

"Bella?" Quil asked "Are you okay?" He paused. "Right. Stupid question. Obviously you're not okay. Sorry. Um, shit. What can I do? Do you want me to take you to Jake... or some where else...?" he seemed to tack that last part on with some hesitation, but I appreciated the thought.

What did I need? There were so many ways that I could answer that question. Therapy probably. To stop hurting everyone that I cared about, absolutely. The ability to split myself into two different people, so that I could make both Edward and Jacob happy, would be helpful. But there was only one thing that truly mattered at that moment; the reason why I was here, crying on the side of the road.

"Jacob" the name coming out more like a plea than an answer to a question. And once I started I couldn't stop. The sound of "Jacob, Jacob, Jacob." joined the sounds of sobbing and shaky gasping breaths. I couldn't tell if Quil answered me or not, and after a minute of silence I wondered if he was still there. But then I felt an arm slide behind my back and a hand grip my hip before shifting me to the side so that I was sitting in the middle of the truck's seat. Quil slid behind the wheel and pulled me in to tuck against his side before pulling the truck back onto the road. Normally I would have felt at least a little embarrassed about essentially cuddling up to someone I hadn't really spent that much time with, but Quil was warm and I was so cold. I was so tired of being cold.

-

Jacob

-

I was laying in bed when I heard the knock at the front door. Well, knock probably wasn't the right word, it sounded more like someone kicking at the door in an attempt at knocking. The weird knocking wasn't the thing that I noticed the most though. Because what was really weird was that I hadn't heard a car pull up out front first, or even the sound of someone walking up the gravel drive to the front porch. Heightened hearing was one of the perks of the whole turning into a giant wolf thing, so I usually knew right away when someone came to the house. Dr. Fang must've really overdone it on the pain meds this time. He still wasn't sure about the dosage because of my higher than average metabolism and seemed to be going with the trial and error method. Although, if I had to pick, I guess a little stoned was better than being in pain. Or physical pain anyway. The drugs were doing absolutely nothing to stop the thoughts running through my head. Well, one thought, really, repeating over and over, like a broken record. Bella, Bella, Bella…

-

Billy must have let whoever it was in and by the time I had focused on trying to figure out who it was, my bedroom door was being pushed open. Quil stood in the doorway cradling Bella against his chest and for a second I had a flash of a memory. Bella being carried from the woods by Sam. The haunted look in her eyes. The broken sobs. This was entirely too much like that.

"Bella! What the hell happened?! Is she okay?"

"I don't know man. I was out on patrol and saw her truck on the side of the road. I asked her what was wrong but she just kept saying your name over and over, so I brought her here." Quil hesitated like he wasn't sure what he should do now. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to jump up from the bed and get her. But I was still on "bed rest" until the doc could be sure I wouldn't re injure myself. I ground my teeth together and took a deep breath, attempting to remain calm, "Well bring her here." Quil looked relieved to have some direction and he quickly laid her on the bed next to me before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. 

As soon as she was on the bed Bella curled into my side, still sobbing. I started to wrap my arms around her before remembering that the entire right side of my body was basically useless. I threw my head back against the mattress, cursing quietly out of frustration. Then settled for bringing my left hand up to start rubbing Bella's shoulder and back. "Shh, its okay. I'm here. What happened?" I had hoped that she'd look up, but when did Bella ever make things easy.

"Bells?" I tried again. Still nothing. This time I kept the cursing confined to inside my head. Or I tried to anyway.

"I'm losing my mind here Bells. You've just gotta talk to me. I'm suck here in this damn bed and I can barely fucking move and you're scaring me and I need to at least know if you're hurt. Did he hurt you?" I worked on trying to slow the tremors moving through my body. The doc would be pissed if I phased now and ruined all of his hard work. Plus Bella was freaking out enough and I had to keep it together for her. I still needed her to at least answer my question though, "Dammit Bella, just tell me what he did to you." Still no answer. She was trying to kill me with stress. That was it. That newborn hadn't finished the job, so she was going to do it. "Bella, I swear to god-"

Finally, she answered me, "He didn't hurt me," except that she could only get about one word out at a time, she was crying so damn hard. I waited for her to continue, to explain it so that I could understand, but she was quiet. Well, besides the crying. 

"Okay, good, cause all of the broken bones might have made it difficult for me to kick his ass." I joked, hoping to make her laugh, or get angry, anything really as long as she stopped crying. But the tears kept pouring out of her eyes, soaking my shirt while she pulled in great mouthfuls air. 

I sighed, "Bells?"

Bella whispered something against my chest, so quietly that I almost didn't hear her. But I was focused now and it sounded like she said, "They're leaving." It took me a minute to process what she was saying, partially because the pain killers made all of my thoughts sort of fuzzy around the edges. "They're leaving?" I repeated it back to her like a question, "Not 'We're leaving.'?" She just shook her head without picking it up. 

"So, the Cullens are leaving. Edward is leaving. And you're not going with them." I said the words slowly, not to cause her pain, even though I'm sure it did, but because I had to be sure that I understood. That I wasn't missing something. That the tiny ray of hope that I felt starting to crawl out of the deep, dark corner of my mind where I had buried it wasn't just me setting myself up to get my heart broken (again). Bella sobbed even harder, her gasping breaths broken up by hiccups, as she nodded her head. 

So, I guess the bastard couldn't handle the competition after all. I was surprised, I hadn't expected him to give up that easily. And there was the hope again. But I shoved it back down and tried to focus. Because Bella was still crying and making those ugly, broken sounds and it was my job to make her feel better. "Hey, shhh. It'll be okay, honey." I murmured before pressing my lips to the top of her head. My hand continued to rub up and down her arm and across her back. "I'm sorry. Was he mean to you? I didn't mean for you to have to go through that alone. I was thinking I'd be there. And I'm sorry he left you." Bella had gone still, but when she didn't say anything, I continued. "I mean, I'm not sorry that he's gone, but I'm sorry he hurt you. He's an idiot." And then Bella was crying again and I was failing miserably at the whole, making her feel better is my job, thing. "Shit, sorry honey, I guess that's not what you want to hear right now. But IT IS going to be okay." I stressed, because I needed her to believe me. "It sucks right now, but you've gotten through this before. And you don't have to do it alone. I'm gonna be with you the whole time, whatever it takes. Maybe this time won't be as bad because you kinda know what to expect. And I'll be good, I promise. No pressure. I'll be whatever you need me to be. And it'll be okay."

"Wait, stop," Bella interrupted my rambling. She took a deep breath and looked up at me, "Edward isn't leaving because he's mad at me for loving you. He's leaving because I asked him to. Because I'm in love with you." Her voice was all watery from crying and the tears never really stopped, but those words were still the most wonderful thing I'd ever heard. I couldn't have pushed back the hope now even if I wanted to (not that I did want to). Bella picked me. I hadn't realized until just then how much I had been preparing myself to lose. But she had really picked me. I wanted to kiss her and spin her around my tiny bedroom in circles and just show her how happy she made me. Except this wasn't like those stupid fairytale stories that Rebecca had always tried to read to me when we were kids. You know the ones; boy falls for girl, girl says no, boy is persistent, girl finally says yes, and they live happily ever after. Unless I missed the one where the girl was also in love with another boy at the same time and everyone involved got the hearts broken. Oh and one of the boys was a bloodsucking leech and the other turned into a giant wolf. Actually, there probably was one of those Grimm's fairytales that had something like that. But those didn't usually have happy endings.

No, this definitely was not a fairytale, because his girl was crying over another guy, which didn't seem like a great way to start a "happily ever after" even if it was her decision. 

He wanted to talk to Bella about all of this. To figure out what she was thinking and where they would go from here, but Bella had gone back to crying into his chest and she had to be exhausted, so he would wait. He had promised to be good, afterall.

-

Bella

-

I don't how long I had been lying there, curled into the crook of Jake's arm, but it must have been a while, because he stirred a little and asked, "Hey honey, sorry, but it's getting late and I didn't know if there was somewhere you needed to be... or someone who was going to be looking for you..." he prompted. I managed to convey, after several attempts, that Charlie thought I was spending the night with Alice and that no one else needed to know where I was. He seemed satisfied with that answer and shifted to make himself more comfortable, while still keeping me tucked firmly against his side. I felt him press a kiss to the top of my head and say, "Then you should get some sleep." 

He didn't say anything else after that. Just held me on the bed and let me ruin his shirt, staining it with salt water. Eventually, the sobs quieted, but the tears continued to flow steadily. It took longer than I thought it would for that smaller, broken part of me to cry herself out. It happened, though, and I was eventually exhausted enough to sleep. Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the pain, just a numbing, dulling ease. It made it more bearable, but it was still there. I was aware of it, even asleep, and that helped me to make the adjustments I needed to make. 

-

The morning brought with it, if not a brighter outlook, at least a measure of control, some acceptance. Instinctively, I knew that the new tear in my heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of me now. Time would make it easier - that's what everyone always said. But I didn't care if time healed me or not, so long as Edward could be happy again. That's what had been missing the last time; the acceptance. It's what had kept me from moving forward. But this time would be different. 

When I woke up, there was no disorientation. I opened my eyes - finally dry - and met his anxious gaze. 

"Hey," I said. My voice was hoarse. I cleared my throat. He didn't answer. He watched me, waiting for it to start. 

"No, I'm fine," I promised. "That won't happen again." His eyes tightened in concern.

"That's great, Bells, but what exactly was that?" He asked. 

I took a deep breath, just because I was prepared for this conversation, didn't mean it wasn't going to be painful. 

"The Cullens are leaving." I repeated my answer from last night to make sure he had understood what I had tried to tell him while also breaking down. I could see the question in his eyes, so I answered it. "Yes, Edward is leaving too. And no, I'm not going with them." As I spoke I saw a hundred different emotions flicker in Jacob's eyes. The one that seemed to be winning was hope, but then it was like he caught himself and a neutral expression settled over his features. I hated it, he wasn't My Jacob, when he made that face. But I also knew that in this case, I had no one to blame but myself. My hindsight had become incredibly clear. I could see every mistake I'd made, every bit of harm I'd done, the small things and the big things. Each pain I'd caused Jacob, each wound I'd given Edward, stacked up into neat piles that I could not ignore or deny.

"I'm sorry." I pushed myself up, using my arm to lean on his chest so that I could meet his eyes. "I've made a real mess of things. I know I've caused you a lot of pain. But I finally realized I was wrong all along." At that, Jacob took a startled breath and looked like he was about to say something. I placed a finger against his lips, and he stopped. "Just let me get this out. I don't want there to be any confusion." His brow furrowed a little, but he waited for me to continue. 

"I was wrong about the magnets," I explained. "I used to think about you and Edward as magnets; that you two were like opposite magnetic poles. I couldn't push you together no matter how hard I tried. But it was actually the two parts of myself, your Bella and Edward's Bella, that I was trying to force together. But they could not exist together, and I never should have tried." I could see the hope starting to win out in Jacob's eyes as he said quietly, "I knew you'd figure it out eventually." And the corner of his mouth twitched. "But still, you mind telling me how you figured it out?" 

"It was the kiss, before the battle," I paused and made an effort to look stern, "which I'm still mad at you for, by the way. Threatening to kill yourself to make me kiss you?" I raised an eyebrow. At least he had the decency to look ashamed. 

I didn't have to work to be serious this time, "You will never do that to me again, got it?" Jacob glanced up from beneath his lashes and nodded. That's how I was sure that he knew he had messed up; that and the fact that he didn't try to argue with me at all. I continued, "But that's not the point right now. The point is, that when you kissed me, I saw the whole thing - our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy." 

"So what's stopping you?" he whispered.

"I still love him, Jake, and I don't think that'll ever go away. That's not fair to you. There's probably someone out there much better for you." My heart broke a little as I spoke, especially when I considered how much it would hurt now, if he did decide that I wasn't worth all of this trouble.

"No." Jacob shook his head. "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would be effortless for us - comfortable, easy as breathing. I'm the natural path your life would have taken...." The corner of his lips twitched, forming a small smile. "If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic..."

I could see what he saw, and I knew he was right. But I needed to make sure he understood fully. "He's like a drug for me, Jake. When I was with him, he was the only thing that mattered. I was ready to give up my life for him. But it's different with you." The corner of my mouth turned up in a wistful half-smile. "Like having my own personal sun. Not a drug, but air. You're healthier for me. So I'm choosing to have the life I want. I'm choosing to stay with Charlie and my mom. I'm choosing to have the chance to change and grow. I'm choosing to stay human. There's still a lot that we need to talk about and I'm going to need time. But I think you were right before when you said that if we had enough time you could help me be happy again. So I'm going to try. I'm going to try to stay here with you. If you decide you still want me, all things considered." 

I only had to wait a second for his answer, and then I only had another second to appreciate the breathtaking smile that split his features, before he pulled me to him and crushed his lips to mine.

#twilight renaissance #twilight #jacob black #team jacob

[barzzal]

hi ! could you write a blurb where the reader is self-conscious and mat reassures her ? thank youu, I love your writing <3

warnings: self-loathing bc it be like that sumtimes but know y’all beautiful fr 💙

“babe?” mat calls out for you, carefully placing the bag of groceries atop the dining table.

he came home to a quietly undisturbed and sound apartment completely indifferent to the one he was used to coming home when he’s done with his usual practice. he hates that something vital to it was missing.

and he hated that it had to be you.

you, on the other hand, was busy staring at your reflection on the full-body mirror you had in your master bed.

you were apalled by everything. and by everything, you meant everything. right from the lines beginning to show on your face, down to the stripes you try so hard to conceal by wearing tight jeans. basically, the reason why you didn’t want mat to see your body the first night that the two of you got together.

you, wearing an old piece of lingerie you haven’t had the guts to throw out, stares right back at you, ashamed of the mess you’ve left yourself become.

sure, you know that you are worthier than all these imperfections. but everytime you take a good look at yourself in the mirror, those imperfections are still imperfections.

you can’t help but bite back a sob. you frustratingly ran your hands through your tousled hair and desperately pushed it all into a bun.

one thing you loved about your body though was the marks on your neck left by mathew last night. it was the only thing that you appreciated because seeing those little kisses meant that he still loved being with you. maybe. somehow.

you were too in deep hating your body that you didn’t even notice mat come in the bedroom.

your back was facing the door so he still couldn’t see what you were doing.

as a man, and obviously a lover, his gaze travelled every inch of your body, even if it means having to see just your bare back.

he was utterly in awe.

he quietly makes his way towards you and once he does, you feel his arms wrap around your waist swiftly, making you feel how good it is to be held by a mathew barzal.

mat starts to pepper your neck with his signature kisses when he notices the look your face had in the mirror.

you feel his body tenses and his reaction changes in an instant when he notices the tear mark still visible on your cheeks.

“hey, baby...” he coos, his doe eyes now filled with worry.

“what’s wrong?” he finally asks.

when he didn’t hear a word from you, he decides to turn you around lightly so he could face you. you can’t help but feel ashamed of how bad you looked in front of him. your hands were cold, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to look him in the eye and tell him what’s wrong.

“y/n.” mat lifts your chin up so he could see you. he knew that something was going on. and he hated to see you this way– he hated to see you so unlike you.

when you still didn’t say a word, mat lets out a sigh and decides to sit on the bed, using his hand to guide you the way onto his lap.

his arms find their peace around your waist, and his chin atop your shoulder.

“baby, tell me what’s wrong.” he pleads in an attempt to make everything easy for you.

“i– i just...” you try to find the right words. unsure if telling him what’s bothering you was the right thing to do.

after all, he wasn’t just a somebody, he was your partner. and he deserves to get a piece of every war you’re fighting against inside you.

“y’know you can tell me anything, right?” he gives you a reassuring smile as he tucked some loose ends of your hair at the back of your ear.

you simply nod and decided to tell him, all whilst fiddling with your fingers. “i don’t like me anymore.”

mat only sighs before planting a small kiss on your shoulder, “what do you mean you don’t like you anymore, baby?”

“i– i feel hideous, mat. look at these fucking marks i’ve got on. look at these stretch marks! i haven’t been pregnant but look how bad it is already!” you pinched every side of your body just to stress on what you had told him a little more.

it was bad enough that you were already ashamed of yourself, much more now that he had seen this needy, weepy, and insecure side of you. you buried your face in your hands to stop yourself from tearing up again.

you feel his hand take yours away from your face so he could hold it.

“hideous?” mat chuckles and shakes his head.

“baby, you are far from being one.” he reassures you.

“sure, you get all furious and beastly when you’re mad, but hideous? no, never.” he starts to tease, just enough to throw you off your misery and get a good laugh. you playfully give him a nudge and rested your head on his, a sad smile painted on your lips.

“mat, it’s true. i know it sounds silly, but my body didn’t use to look this bad before. d’you still remember the photos we had back then when we took that trip with your family?” you tell him, remembering how your body once were until it’s gone.

“i remember you. and as far as i’m concerned, you haven’t changed a bit.” he says with candor as he shifts to look at you, eyes pinned directly on yours.

“i don’t think it’s even possible but you’ve never lost your game, babe. in fact, i get up everyday shitting myself thinking how you could easily replace me with just a single thirst post on instagram.” he smiles, reaching in to kiss you.

“really?” you ask him. he only nods and repeats what you said, “really.”

“i love you, y/n.” he starts to say. “even these marks you say are hideous? even these stripes? and even this tummy you try to hide at times? i love ‘em because it’s all you.”

“you’re just saying things, aren’t you?” you suspiciously ask him.

“why would i? i didn’t have to lie about a single thing, y/n.”

“yeah?” “yeah.”

“thanks, matty.” you tell him, planting a kiss on the tip of his nose.

“are you feeling better now?” he asks.

once you nodded, a playful smile comes off his lips when he says, “now about that pregnancy thing...”

mat’s lips began making their way on your bare skin and onto your neck, eager to make you feel beautiful for the rest of the night.

#thanks for this! #absolutely loved it 🥰 #also tysm bc you love my writing :’) #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #mathew barzal fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #barzzal blurbs

[small-teacup]

Okay, Inventing Privileges Revoked

Requested by: @jwillowwolf

Notes: The magical stuff in this fic is based off of The Ancient Magus Bride (anime and manga). If you've read/seen it, I put a lil reference to it somewhere in here >:)

POV: 3rd person

Ships: Analogical, Royality, and Demus/Dukeceit/Receit

CW: Swearing, yelling, eating, sympathetic Remus and Janus, fire, mention of failing classes, vines, being watched

Lemme know if I missed any :D

Word Count: 3041

“Twist this...and then you-” The inventor muttered to himself as he made a few adjustments and tweaks on his latest machine. It was supposed to harness the power of magic from other worlds, so that it could benefit this world. He knows they exist...he just knows. A few sparks flew at him as a knob was turned. “Don’t you dare start acting up on me. I spent a year and a half on you, I’m not letting you give up on me now,” he scolded the piece of machinery. He had an amusing habit of talking to objects. As if the invention had heard him, little gears started turning even though he hadn’t meant it for it to be turned on. Not yet. But it seemed like it was doing it out of spite. An unpleasant noise erupted from it before he quickly turned the knob back to its original position. “That’s enough out of yo-”

“LOGAN!! DINNER’S READY!!”

“Soooo..” Patton started, taking a bite out of a piece of garlic bread. “Any progress on your cool lil’ device you got in your room?” He asked, looking over at his roommate.

The voice scared Logan out of his wits, flinching as he pushed up his glasses. “I’M COMING!” He called back, standing up from his seat and tiredly walking out of his bedroom to the kitchen. He didn’t seem to realize the pink-ish glow emitting from the machine behind him.

________________

“It’s not...exactly doing what I want it to do. But that’s alright, I can still fix it,” Logan replied, scooping some spaghetti into his mouth.

“Ooohh..okay! Virgil, how were your classes today?”

The boy in question sat across from Patton, hunched over and eating slowly with one hand, the other one shoved in his jacket pocket. “Failed ‘nother exam. I’m thinkin’ of giving up at this point…” He mumbled, poking a meatball.

“Noooo! Don’t say that! You still got a lot to look forward to!”

“I agree with Patton,” Logan said, looking over at Virgil. “You’re trying your best and that’s what matters. It’s just one mistake, it’s not that big of a deal. You’ll be ok.”

“But what if I won’t be? Ughh..my grades are going down so so low… Sometimes I just don’t wanna be here. Not away from you guys, of course, but..just- somewhere where I don’t have to stress myself every night and break down almost once every week.”

“Like Logie said, you’ll be okay! Here, how about this, you take a well-deserved break and me or Logan can do your work for you?”

“That wouldn’t work because he wouldn’t be learning the things he needs to in order to pass. The least we can do right now is try to keep his mind off of work for a short time. But he has to get back to doing his assignments after.”

“Um..,” Virgil muttered quietly, as not to interrupt either of the boys. “I guess my little ‘break’ starts now…? If so, then uh..can I see Logan’s machine thing?”

Logan and Patton looked at each other, the more optimistic of the two grinning. “Yeah! I’d like to see it too!”

The inventor sighed, shaking his head lightly. “Fine, but do not touch it.”

His roommates cheered as a small smile made its way onto Logan’s face.

After dinner, they were grouped in Logan’s room, staring at the little device.

________________

“So...how does it work?” Virgil asked, tilting his head slightly. Logan gently took the device and held it in his hands so the others could see. “Well, you’re supposed to turn this knob,” he explained, turning said knob. The machine sputtered to life, however it seemed...off. “But it doesn’t seem to be working correctly at the moment.”

Patton stared at the tiny device in amazement, Virgil doing the same until he got a notification from his phone. He pulled it out, pure frustration showing on his face.

“UGHHH- I don’t even wanna be IN THIS WORLD anymore!” He groaned, shoving his phone into his pocket.

Suddenly, child-like laughter filled the air.

“Wh...What was that?” Patton asked, fearful.

“I’m..not sure,” Logan responded, looking around. Vines grew from the ground and latched to their legs as three small portals appeared beneath them. They were pulled down into those portals before they could even scream.

________________

Logan woke up to the sight of trees, the moonlight shining through them, and the feeling of dirt beneath him. He shot up and looked around frantically before his eyes landed upon two figures curled up next to one of the trees. On closer examination, he realized those were his roommates. Patton seemed to have calmed Virgil down from a panic attack.

“Are you two okay…?” He asked, going over and sitting with them. At the sound of Logan’s voice, Virgil suddenly latched onto him. “God- I thought you died! I’m so sorry..This is my fault, I’m so so sorry..,” the boy muttered, his grip tightening.

“I...believe it’s my fault. It was my invention, I shouldn’t have shown it to you two when it wasn’t even working properly.”

“Guys-” Patton said, trying to warn them.

“No but if I hadn’t got so angry-”

“I don’t think it had to do with your anger.”

“Guys-”

“But what if it did? We weren’t pulled in until I got that stupid notif.”

“There’s nothing in the device that would make it respond to human emotions-”

“GUYS!”

“WHAT?!” The two shouted in unison, seeing Patton looking up.

“There’s people..w-watching..,” he whispered.

Virgil and Logan looked up as well. Two pairs of eyes stared back at them, one pair green and the other pair red. Shadows hid their bodies from view, if they even had bodies. The two entities laughed, sounding exactly like the laugh they’d heard before being sucked into this alternate world. Patton scooted over to his roommates hurriedly and stayed very close to them. The entities above seemed to look at each other before the one with green eyes suddenly disappeared with a gust of wind. Red eyes looked back down at them, suddenly dropping from the tree and landing with a flourish. In the light, it seemed that the entity was a boy, about the same age as the three humans in front of him. Little flames burned from the tips of his hair that he didn’t seem bothered with. Speaking of, his hair was tied in a ponytail that hung over his shoulder. He wore a white shirt with gold lining at the top, its sleeves going down to his elbows and hanging loosely. A red sash was tied around his waist. Black cloth was tucked into it from the back, making it sway behind him whenever he moved. He wore simple brown shorts that seemed to have been torn from what used to be a complete pair of trousers. Gold ribbons wrapped his legs in a criss-cross pattern, tying into knots at his ankles. His ears were pointed, making him look like an elf. His eyes always seemed to have a fire burning in them.

He grinned at the terrified humans and held his hand out to them, but it seemed more directed at Patton.

“Greetings, humans! You may call me Princey. You’re not supposed to be here!” He sang.

Patton was the first to speak up, albeit in a shaky tone, “N-Nice to meet you, Princey. I’m P-”

“Ah ah ah! Nicknames only. Real names have power in our world, and you wouldn’t want to fall prey to anything...unpleasant, now would you?” The fae interrupted. He narrowed his eyes, but his grin stayed.

“And how’re we supposed to know that you’re not one of the ‘unpleasant’ kind?” Virgil asked harshly, suspicious of this seemingly magical stranger.

The faerie’s eye twitched as he pulled back his hand, “You certainly seem to be one of them, so you tell me.”

“You did not-”

“If the shoe fits, rusty human.”

“Alright alright, umm...maybe we shouldn’t fight?” Patton suggested, looking between the two.

“Yes, we don’t need to cause more problems to add to the ones we already have,” Logan agreed, pulling Virgil closer. The smaller boy huffed and muttered an “okay.”

“So we’re all in agreement that we’d rather not fight right now! Perfect! Now, let’s start this over. What would each of you like to be called?”

“Can I be called Pat..? Is part of our names allowed?”

“I...suppose. You have a very sweet-sounding nickname. And you two?” He gestured to Logan and Virgil.

The inventor sighed, “Call me L, please.”

“Alright, very simple,” Princey commented, looking over at the last boy to share his nickname. “..You know, I might just call you Rusty.”

“Don’t call me that-”

“Too late, Rusty.”

“I have a question,” Logan stated, looking up at the fae.

“Yeeeesss?”

“Why did you call him a ‘rusty human’?”

“Ah! It’s something only Neighbors, such as I, would get. Each human that comes through the forest has a distinct smell. For example, Pat smells like roses.” He sighed dreamily. “My favorite flower… As for Rusty over there, he smells like...well- rust. It’s utterly disgusting to us.”

“..Is ‘Neighbors’ the name of your species?”

“Sort of…? Neighbors is what you call faeries, however that term is dull to some. If we’re talking about the subspecies of fae, I’m a fire sprite.”

Virgil snickered, covering his mouth to hide his smile.

“What’s so funny about that? I’ll have you know that you should respect us magical beings, lest you be cursed or spirited away!”

“I’m gonna call you Soda,” The boy replied behind his hand.

“Wha-”

“Ooooh! Because he’s a sprite!” Patton said, pointing finger guns at Virgil. “Ayyyyyy!”

“Ayyyyyyy.” The other pointed finger guns right back at him.

Princey and Logan just sighed, one being confused and the other used to his roommates' antics.

The fae clapped his hands. “Okay okay. To get you all out of potential danger, you’re going to have to come with me. I’ll take you to my abode. Be warned, my brother and his boyfriend live there as well.” He shot a look at Virgil, “I’m not going to kill any of you. It wouldn’t benefit anyone.”

They looked at each other and seemed to be in silent agreement as they stood. Princey started guiding them through the trees and the bushes, careful to avoid anything that could kill these new humans.

“So...Why are you helping us? Not that I don’t appreciate it, I just...wanna know, y’know?” Patton asked as they walked.

“...It’s lonely here. The other fae are very..gossipy. You do something dumb and suddenly it spreads around like wildfire. So I usually stay away from fae that I don’t already know, as I wouldn’t want any...betrayals or damages to my pride. I trust that you humans are not the same...?”

“I don’t think so.. Right?” The boy looked over at his two friends, who seemed to be having a silent conversation with one another. He sighed and gave up on the question, feeling a bit left out. Princey seemed to notice, gesturing for Patton to walk with him at the front, to which the boy hesitantly but happily did.

After a bit of walking, they came across a little cottage in a clearing. Smoke billowed out of the chimney as they approached it.

“Well,” the fire sprite sighed. “Here we are! It’s not much...but it works.”

“...I thought it’d look more like a giant mushroom or something,” Virgil commented, a bit suspicious about how normal the house looked.

“Why would we live in a fucking mushroom? A MUSHROOM THAT SIZE DOESN’T EVEN EXIST- Where are you getting these ideas?!”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, faerie boy?” The emo replied, waiting for Princey to open the door or something. Was there even a lock on the front door?

As if on cue, the door swung open to reveal another faerie, similar to Princey. This one, however, wore reversed colors. A black shirt with silver lining and a green sash instead of a red one. He had a silver streak in his hair, dangling over his eyes. His hair was braided, draped over his shoulder as well. The most peculiar thing, though, was the fake mustache he wore and the green wings protruding from his back, speckled with black.

“Wretched brother! And...other people!” The new faerie greeted, moving aside so they could get in.

“Greetings to you too...Duke,” Princey muttered, leading the small group inside.

“That’s his name? Duke? What, is he a dog?” Virgil asked, semi-sarcastically.

“Based on his behavior, he might as well be,” The fire sprite grumbled, flopping on a nearby chair and sighing. “And no, that’s not his name. Remember what I said about those, Rusty?”

“Yeah yeah, they ‘hold power’ or whatever. But why do you guys need to disguise your names when you’re the one who’s able to use them against us? You’re not at risk.”

“Actually, we are. I’d also rather you not call my beloved a dog,” A new voice said, the source of it being a figure that had just walked in from the kitchen. The humans looked at him, a bit startled. It didn’t seem like this one was the same as the brothers. He wore a wide-brimmed black hat with a yellow ribbon tied around it. The shadows created by the hat covered one half of his face. The half that was visible seemed normal. He had dark brown eyes that made him seem wise and intimidating. A black and gold capelet laid on his shoulders, linked together with a gold chain. He wore yellow lace gloves with black ribbons wrapped around his wrist. He was even wearing thigh-high stiletto boots.

“mY BOYFRIEND!!” Duke screeched as he half-ran and half-flew to the new faerie. He latched onto him in a tight hug, his wings flapping slightly in happiness.

“Could I inquire what nickname you,” Logan started, gesturing to the mysterious fae, “would like to go by? And what type of faeries are you two?”

“Hm...Call me Deceit, if you will. Duke’s an Ariel and I’m a Leannan Sidhe.”

“Ariel?? Like the mermaid??” Patton wondered aloud, sitting next to Princey on another chair. It was obvious the two wanted to be close to each other with the way they were glancing at each other.

“I...don’t know what a ‘mermaid’ is, but I’m assuming that has nothing to do with the faerie world, so no. An Ariel is a type of sprite, a wind denizen, or in simpler terms, they can control the wind. They’re known to be mischievous, despite their job of purification,” Deceit explained, fondly playing with his boyfriend’s hair.

“And a Leannan Sidhe…?” Logan asked, sitting on the couch with a notebook and pen in hand. Where did he even get that…

“A subspecies of a fae you humans would refer to as a ‘vampire’. Young men let us feed on their blood in exchange for talent. It could also be exchanged for...other things.”

“Oh. Is the amount of blood a lot…? Because it would kill the human if you took too much.”

“It’s just enough that the human wouldn’t die on the spot. However, those we feed on don’t usually lead very long lives. Enjoy what you have and die or yearn for more and die greedy.”

“Greedy?” Virgil repeated, sitting next to Logan and clasping his hands together. If he was being honest, he actually considered offering his blood to the vampire, despite how shady that’d be.

“What you sought for certainly didn't come from you, did it?”

“N..No…”

“That’s what I thought.”

Awkward silence fell over the room. Duke fluttered his wings happily as he cuddled closer to Deceit. It created a little gust of wind that unfortunately threatened the life of Princey’s flames, to the fire sprite’s annoyance.

“Do any of you know why we’re here..?” Patton asked quietly, shuffling a bit closer to the fae next to him.

“I do! I do!!” The wind denizen chirped, speeding away from his boyfriend and stopping in front of the human. “So when the nerd over there made the weird machine, we were able to find connections to your world! But we didn’t know what to do with it, so we left it alone. But theeeeennnn, Rusty said a few magic words, and some of the faeries in our world took advantage of it, so that’s why you guys are here!”

“What magic words???” Virgil called from the other side of the room.

Duke cleared his throat and did a half-hearted attempt at imitating Virgil, “i dON’T evEn WAnnA be iN thiS woRlD ANyMOREEeEe blAHhhhh.”

“Okay, I said everything BUT that last part.”

“I know, it’s just that you’re overly angsty.”

“IT’S PART OF MY AESTHETIC-”

“Let’s calm down for a moment,” Patton said softly, giving a tiny and nervous smile. “What part of that was magical?”

“All of it! When humans say something, whether they mean it or not, some specific types of fae listen closely so they can cause maaaajor terror and disorder. Like this one time, some girl was angry at her lil’ brother so she went, ‘I wish you were never my brotherrrr!’ or something dramatic like that, and then the next day, the boy was gone! And nooooobody remembered him except her. She got really scared, but lucky for her, a couple of mages came by and helped her.”

“...Mages?”

“Yeah! They’re either like...human-like faes or sleigh-beggies.”

“Sleigh-beggies??? I honestly don’t think that’s the actual name-”

“Doesn’t matter what you think! That’s what it’s called. Sleigh-beggies are just humans who’ve been gifted with the sight to see otherworldly things. It may sound cool, but trust me, you don’t wanna know how many things are crawling over all of you right now.”

At that, both Patton and Virgil screeched, trying to get rid of the creatures they couldn’t even see. Logan sighed and shook his head.

“How do we get back?” He asked, looking over at Deceit as it seemed like he was the best person to ask.

“Well…” The fae started.

“You’re just going to have to stay and find out.”

[End]

(This post wasn't proofread-)

#logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides #ts fic #ts fanfic #ts roman #ts remus #ts logan #ts janus #ts patton #ts virgil #analogical #royality #demus #dukeceit #receit #sympathetic remus #sympathetic janus #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides logan #sanders sides patton #sanders sides janus #sanders sides virgil #sanders sides remus #sanders sides roman

[jaeminscoffee]

Promises

Pairing -  Wong Lucas x reader

Genre- Fluff, smut

Warning- Fingering, praise kink. That’s about it

Summary- Balance of mutual love and understanding is what keeps a relationship tact for long time. Lucky for you, you have the most caring boyfriend who never rushes anything. So for your 5th anniversary, you gift him something special that will stay in his mind for a long time.

This particular oneshot was requested!

Requests open ♡

Lucas was stuck in office even for your 5th anniversary to a point where he had to facetime you that morning because he wasn't able to wake up next to you to give you a loving kiss and hold you tight in his arms.

You didn't mind though, you needed time to think of what you'd gift him anyways so as sad as it was to not have him beside you on your anniversary, you could live with it.

Lucas is a very caring lad, would take everything according to your pace , only proceeding in things initiated by him if you were comfortable with doing so.

That was mainly the reason you have never had things get intimate between the two of you. Sure there would be a very heated make out session but nothing more than that.

Over the 5 years of your relationship, Lucas would make sure that you'd feel all his love through every single one of his actions. But not today you thought, you wanted to give him something special. Something that would leave a permanent memory in both of your minds. Something more than just a make out session, you were ready to give yourself whole to him so why not?

You were going to be the one initiating things this time.

You took a shower and head into your closet, reaching for the top shelf where you had kept the first ever set of lingerie that you'd bought but could never wear.

It's almost as though you had already planned all this because the set happened to be of his favorite color. Baby pink.

The light pink baby doll set fitting gracefully gave you a very innocent image. He was going to love this and you knew that.

It was late in the evening at around 8:48 or ish when you'd finished dolling yourself up for him, wrapping a bathrobe to hide your surprise, when you made your way to the kitchen to make his favorite dessert, when you heard the door open from the hall.

You walk over to the sink washing your hands before resuming your activity, you felt hands wrap around your waist, a head resting above your head.

"Hey" Lucas spoke in his deep voice, pressing a kiss on your temple. You turn around, his hands still around you, wrapping your own arms around his torso leaning in resting your head on his chest.

"Someone seemed to have missed me a lot" he said, letting out a chuckle as he started making his way to the living room, dragging you along. "Hey the cake!" you squeal, not trying to put up a protest, letting him pull you along.

"That can wait". Seconds before reaching the living room, Lucas removed his neck tie, "turn around" he said, turning you around himself not waiting for you to do so as he tied his necktie around your eyes "Is this really necessary?" you ask, laughing slightly. "Yep" was all he said before abandoning you in the middle of the hall.

"Lucas?" you turn around looking, a stupid move considering the fact that you were blind folded. "Hold on for a second baby". His voice sounded distant, like he was in another room, which, he was.

After what seemed like minutes, You felt a hand tug yours straight ahead until you were finally made to stand still once again. You hear a little shuffling all over the place.

"Alright take your blindfolds off when i count down from 3" Lucas said, starting the count down, right at 3 you removed his neck tie from over your eyes, looking ahead and then down to see Lucas on his knees, with a ring in his hands. "Don't say anything, let me do the talking for now" he said as he saw your eyes widen and lips quiver. "This isn't exactly a proposal ring, no, this ring is definitely not worth that much for an occasion as special as that so. This is a promise ring, a promise ring that marks us as each others, a ring that has to be on the finger where our engagement ring is soon going to be." he pauses for a second to get back up on his feet.

"So my love, what I'm trying to get at is that, I promise to love you, and only you till the very end, i promise you that i am yours and truly yours only. This ring, i should see you wear this ring every single day, every single hour, every single minute and every single second until it's replaced by me. Because you're the one, who I've chosen to spend the rest of my life with and life without you is one that i cannot get myself to imagine. You're the reason i wake up every morning with a smile on my face. You're the reason i get back home, stress free and happy because i get to see you again, and now i want you to be the reason why my heart's going to beat for the rest of my existence. So Y/n, do you promise to be mine for the rest of your life? To only love me till the very end?" he asks, taking your shaking hand into his, waiting for your reply.

You couldn't say anything, you were hyperventilating at his heart touching part promise -confession that all you could get yourself to do was choke out a tiny 'yes' before throwing yourself completely at him, pulling him in a tight embrace, which he gladly returned.

The two of you stay like that for what felt like hours before Lucas pulled back, once again taking your hand into his while slipping the ring up your finger. It was a ring with his initials engraved on it and it was absolutely beautiful. He lifted your hand up, looking at the finger with the ring in it with so much adoration before lifting his own, showing the ring that adorned his finger with your initials engraved on it. "Happy Anniversary beautiful".

He lowered your hands, placing his on your cheeks pulling you close, "I love you so so much" he said, placing a tiny peck on your lips before placing soft kisses all over your face. You stop his demonstration and remove his hands from your cheeks, instead placing yours on his. "I love you too" was the only thing you said, before pulling him in for a kiss.

His hands automatically found your hip, yours wrapped around his neck.

The kiss started off slow and sweet, your lips molding perfectly against each others until you bit his bottom lips, tugging at the hair behind his neck. He let out a low grunt, dipping in lower to pull you closer.

It started to get pretty heated. You broke the kiss, gasping for air, a crimson color painting your cheek. You take his hands in yours and started leading him away from the hall to your shared bedroom.

Upon reaching the room you once again pull him in for a kiss, this one being much intense and needy than the last. You stand on your toes for better access, deepening the kiss, when he let his tongue swipe your bottom lips, asking for permission to enter, to which you gladly allow him to, a soft moan leaving your lips.

You reach for his office shirt, unbuttoning it one after another until there was only two still intact when you press your palm flat onto his toned chest. He broke the kiss this time, panting, and you took this opportunity to kiss up his chest where your hand layed, marking the territory as yours. You bit down onto the skin to which he groaned, tucking at your hair slightly , he pulled you away looking straight into your eyes. "Babe, what are you doing?"

"Something i should've done a long time ago" you say, getting back to your previous actions, which he stopped once again. "What?" he asked, letting out a small moan as he saw you pull his hands away from your hair, to your mouth, first gently kissing the finger which adorned the ring with your initial, the slowly taking his finger into your mouth, sucking on it gently.

"I need you Lucas. I really need you" you say, voice raspy. Something about the look in his eyes changed, the color turning ebony dark, he let out a few incoherent words. "Say it again honey" Lucas said, after seconds of looking all over your face to see if you were uncomfortable with carrying this forward, shoving you towards the bed softly once he found that you weren't.

"I need you" You say a little louder than last, the words clear as day as he smashed his lips right back onto yours, laying you down gently on the bed, hovering above you, unbuttoning the last two buttons of what remained on his shirt, pulling it off his shoulder, discarding it somewhere behind him as he deepened the kiss further, this time not bothering to ask permission as he let his tongue enter your mouth. You moan out his name at the roughness of the kiss.

"Fuck babe, do that louder, you sound so hot moaning my name" he said placing his hands on your waist, his knees between your legs. "Are you sure you want to do this?", Lucas asked you, placing a light kiss at the corner of your lips after breaking the kiss for the nth time that night. You were far too into the pleasure to even think of backing out now. Not like you planned on doing that anyways.

"I've never been so sure about anything before" you say in a seductive voice, the look in your eyes mirroring his. Lust taking over the both of you. "Stop me if it gets too much to handle" Lucas said, planting a kiss on the crook of your neck before reaching out to the rope that kept your bathrobe together, removing the knot.

Upon seeing what's underneath it as the robe slid off you, Lucas backed away from the bed, pulling you up, breathing out a low 'damn'. You giggle, seeing him look at you as though he was head over heels for you, which infact, he was. "Do a quick twirl for me, will you?" he said, looking at you, letting go of your hands before sitting back onto the bed.

You do as he say, twirling as slow as you can, before doing it quick, revealing your panties. Lucas groan at the sight, his dent now clearly visible through his pants it almost looked painful. He did nothing as you stand still after the twirl, so you make your way towards Lucas, sitting on his lap, right on top of his bulge.

You start rocking your hips back and forth his clothed member, his hand finding your hips as the pressure on his bulge helped reveal a little tension. His grip tighten as you pick up a fast pace, moaning at the feeling on your clit. You could've cum right then looking at Lucas' contorted look that took over his manly features.

The air hot and steamy in the room with nothing but your moans blending in together was enough for his last straw to be pulled as he dipped his hands low, placing it on your ass as he moved you faster. He let go of your ass with one hand, moving it under your lingerie and over your clothed clit, gently applying pressure.

You let out a loud moan which encouraged him to do it once again, running his hands up and down your clothed pussy, finding a wet spot on your panties "Does that feel good baby?" Lucas asked as he slipped his finger into your panties, the pleasure doubling as you feel much more pressure without the cloth barrier. You didn't answer, instead grind onto the pad of his thumb which was toying with your clit. He let you have your ways, as he dipped his face forward, kissing his way up your neck to your cheeks and then placed a soft kiss on your lips before removing his hands from you panties, hearing you whine at the loss of contact, moving you so that you were standing up. "Answer me princess, does that feel good?" he said, removing the lingerie, leaving you bare in front of him with just your panties on. He pulled you back onto his lap, your back connected to his chest as he wrapped his hands around you, taking one of your hardened nipples and twisting it.

You throw your head back, resting it on his shoulder, nodding vigorously "Yes it does, sh-shit", he smirked, letting go of your nipples before letting his hands roam all over your body, finally placing it back onto your slit. You let out a loud moan as he draws slow, small circles on your clit, kissing your shoulder as you sigh out of content. You relax back onto his chest as he presses harsh kisses on your neck making sure to leave marks, continuing to play with your clit.

Taking notice of you drifting into your subspace at his slow pace, he entered a finger into your slit, taking you off guard. You gasp out of suprise, clutching onto his hands "Lucas oh god" you moan, he curses under his breath as he watches you writhe out of pleasure in his arms "That's right baby, that's my name" he said in his low voice, which seemingly sounded deeper than usual as he set a normal pace, pumping into you.

It wasn't until he felt you gently clench around his fingers when he decided to add another into your hole. "f-fuck babe" was all you could say, feeling him curl his fingers inside of you as he quickened his pace ever so slightly, hitting one particular spot over and over again. "That's it baby, you look great all fucked up in my arms, c'mon moan louder, let me hear your beautiful voice" Lucas spoke barely above a whisper.

His words mixed with his actions only added more onto the knot you felt growing tight in your stomach. You moan out a litter louder than all previous, pressing your head hard onto his shoulder, giving him an easy access to mark you more as he let his free arm grab your breast, kneeding it gently.

"Oh my god Lucas I'm so close. So so close" you ramble out in a high pitched voice. He feels you clenching around his finger more frequently as he fastens his pumping, adding more pressure into kneeding your breast, pinching your nipple every now and then, pressing harder kisses on your neck. You scream as the pleasures feels oh too good as you grip his thighs hard. "Cum for me baby" he said not bothering to slow down.

You felt the knot come undone as you squirm harder in his arms, squeezing your eyes tightly shut. Gasping as his fingers continue rubbing circles on your clit.

He finally stops, removing his fingers out from inside of you, bringing the cum coated finger right into his mouth. You moan at the sight. "As expected, as sweet as I'd ever imagined" he said. As he turned around, placing you gently onto the sheets, getting up from the bed.

He stands straight up, his hands finding their way to his belt, unbuckling it.

"You can take another one right baby?" he asks as he let out a groan at the way your body layed flat on the bed.

You couldn't get yourself to verbally answer so you just nod. Once he was all rid of clothes, he hovered over you for the second time that night, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

"I promise you I'll make sure you remember this night for a long long time, princess"

Was all he said and oh was he good at keeping promises.

-

It's an open imagination ending! Hope you liked it and I'm sorry if anything came rushed, even though i wrote a suggestive oneshot the last time, this is the first time i write a smut so please do let me know if anythings out of place! 💗 (not proof read ✌)

#nct ff #nct smut #wayv smut #Lucas ff #Wong Yukhei ff #Lucas smut #nct oneshot #nct smut drabble #nct imagine #lucas one shot #nct u smut #nct 127 smut #Lucas imagine #yukhei imagine #nct smut blog #nct fluff #nct angst #lucas fluff #nct lucas ff #nct au #nct jaemin #nct jaehyun #nct jeno #wayv #nct #smut drabble #nct hard hours #nct dream smut #wayv x reader

[ateezmakemeweep]

first time with bf!seonghwa 

word count: 8k

angst, fluff, smut 

you knock on the door of seonghwa's dorm as you smooth out your hair, body bouncing and heart racing in excitement because you're finally about to see your boyfriend. 

you haven't seen him in a little over a month, award shows and fan-signs and performances packed into his schedule keeping him extremely busy and traveling in all different time zones.

these past weeks, you two were lucky if you were able to talk on the phone for a few minutes before bed, usually only exchanging good morning and night texts with a few selfies thrown in that made each other's chest tighten. 

but he called you just yesterday, telling you they were coming back a day early with a weeks vacation; you all but squealed in joy over the phone, his and seven other laughs ringing through the speaker at your excitement.

the door rattles in front of you and you perk up even more, anxiously awaiting for it to open until, at last, you see seonghwa's tall figure standing in the doorway; he's smiling down at you and you could burst into tears on the spot.

"hi," his deep voice says quietly, almost as if he's shy after not seeing you for so long, surprised that you're really here in front of him. your face brightens with a smile of your own and you drop your bag to the floor, crashing into him as you throw your arms around his waist.

his body juts back slightly from the force of you, a laugh leaving his mouth as he wraps his arms around you. 

almost instantly, he feels the stress from every delayed flight and early wake up call vanish as you bury your face in his chest. small and soft and warm against his body and now it's finally registering just how long it's really been.

he tries not to think about the distance and strain of not seeing you, loving when he does get the chance to hear from you but also somewhat avoidant of the true circumstances. 

like how when you were sick, he wasn't able to be there to help you. nurse you back to health and let you fall asleep across his chest. 

or like how at night, all he wanted to do was talk with you in bed and wake up next to you.

because he knows if he did dwell on it, he wouldn't be able to live this kind of life. 

wouldn't be able to be away from you for months at a time and carry on the way he does with smiles and a good attitude when you're thousands of miles away, pretending not to be sad and lonely and missing him.

and you really do pretend. 

you'll talk to and text him like everything’s fine, like you're out with your friends or occupied with school work when the sad reality is you huddled into bed with his sweatshirt. 

every night you're on the verge of tears, partially because you miss him and partially because you feel pathetic that you got this attached in eight months.

you always tried to spare these feelings for him.

you never wanted to make him feel bad or make him doubt that you were positive when you said you'd be able to handle dating him - but just one awful day during this past month had you breaking down to him over the phone.

after getting rear-ended on the highway, failing a test, and getting locked out of your house for two hours, you craved the comfort seonghwa provided. his reassuring whispers and forehead kisses and the sound of him humming you to sleep.

"are you okay?" he asked a few minutes into your nightly phone conversation.

he knew the second you answered the phone that you weren't.

tears sting behind your eyes as you roll your tongue between your lips anxiously. because even miles away under exhaustion and stress of his own, he can tell something's wrong with you.

you really don't wanna cry right now. you can't. but that question always makes everything worse.

"y/n?" he asks hesitantly, cautiously, because he can hear it. 

your dejected, shaky tone, your breathy sighs in between sentences, how it sounds like you're about to break down into tears any second. but he also hears how strong you're trying to be. how you're forcing your laughs and asking him all about his performances and fans.

"i-i'm fine," you assure him, cursing yourself for sounding just as pathetic as you feel, "just tired."

he knows you're lying.

"are you sure?" he probes lightly, not wanting to upset you but also not wanting you to bottle up your feelings.

"mhm," you mumble, your lips trembling and now you know you're being annoying. 

but you don't wanna tell him. 

you don't want him to listen to the worries that he can't help you with or be stressed over you when he has more important things going on.

you hear shuffling, indistinguishable whispers to another member and then the sound of a door closing.

"y/n," he says softly and that’s all it takes for the first tear to fall. "for this to work, we need to be honest, baby. remember we talked about that?"

you hear yourself sniffle, nodding even though he can't see you so silence is the only thing between you.

there's one, two, three beats before more tears break and start to trickle down your face.

because the night before he left, that's exactly what he said. 

that being honest and talking through your feelings will be important for you both to do while he's away. will keep your relationship strong and secure and long-lasting through weeks of being apart.

"i just miss you," your voice breaks, a lump forming in his throat at how sad you sound. "i always miss you but especially on days like today."

his eyebrows pinch together at the last part.

"what do you mean? did something happen?" he asks, voice calm and quiet even though he feels anxiety building up. because something bad happening to you while he's away is one of his biggest fears.

you cry to him about your test and getting locked out and then your accident which causes him to cut you off immediately.

"wait, what? accident?" he asks and you can hear the underlying panic in his voice. "were you hurt? are you hurt?"

"no," you tell him, and the words halt him from running out to hongjoong and telling him he needs to leave right now. 

"my car is ruined and i'll have to get it fixed... but i wasn't hurt, it was just.. i was just scared," you say, the last two words so soft and quiet.

he swallows the lump that keeps getting bigger in his throat, his heart really hurting now. 

"i'm sorry i'm not there," he tells you after a few seconds, "i...i should be there and i'm not."

you sniffle and it causes him to bite his lip to distract him from his stinging eyes. it's so hard being away from you when you're sad, knowing that you're in bed alone fighting tears in a quiet, empty house.

"but i'll be home soon, okay?" he says, his voice sounding strained and it makes your lips turn into a frown,"i promise i'll be home soon."

you nod your head as you sit up in your bed, leaning against the headboard and running a hand through your hair.

"i know, that's what i keep telling myself. and i'm..i'm usually okay but it's only because today was a disaster," you tell him softly, honestly.

"i'm sorry, love," he says and you speak up before he can say anything else.

"don't say sorry, hwa," you tell him, "i...i didn't tell you to make you feel bad. but.. you said we should be honest so..."

he smiles at your stuttering and his heart pangs. this is gonna be the longest two and a half weeks of his life.

"i know, baby, thank you," he says, "i think we're doing a pretty good job so far, don't you think?"

you giggle, nodding your head and wiping the tears from your cheek. "yeah," you say, "we are."

"y/n?" he says suddenly and you hum a questioning "hm?" as you lay back down, your head on the pillow.

"i.." he pauses for a second and you hear him exhale slowly. "i lo-"

he jumps when there's a pounding on the door followed by mingi's deep voice complaining that he's about to pee his pants as he scoffs at the younger boy.

"c'mon, please! i have to peeeee!" he whines again loudly and a laugh rings through your empty bedroom as you hear the boy's booming voice.

"he's the worst," seonghwa grumbles and you smile at his grumpy tone.

"sh, it's okay. i should go to sleep anyway," you tell him. "goodnight, i miss you."

you feel his arms tighten around you, his lips resting against your head as he unconsciously rocks you back and forth. 

"i missed you, baby," you hear him mumble and you look up at him, stomach fluttering and arms still around him as your chin rests on his chest.

"i missed you, too," you say meekly, a small, shy smile on your face. the look in his eyes is so soft, so loving and overwhelming cute that it has you hiding your face back in his white sweater.

"wait, no," he whines, his finger under your chin to lift your face. you giggle softly as you watch his eyes graze over your face, the looks far too intimate and personal to be happening out in the hallway.

"what?" you ask him, a coy smile playing on your lips.

"don't hide," he chides lightly, the hand under your chin moving to tuck your hair behind your ear. "i wanna see your face," he mumbles out, hand moving to your jaw as he brings his face lower until his lips meet yours.

you smile softly into it, craning your neck up to deepen the kiss. 

his hand tightens on your face when he feels your immediate response, lips wet and parting on yours. his tongue slips in ever so slightly, just so teasingly and you have to steady yourself by putting your hand on his forearm.

you're not at all prepared for this while standing out here so exposed and in the open.

you pull away and he looks down at you with concern.

maybe that was too much after not seeing each other in so-

"can we go inside?" you squeak out and a little laugh leaves his mouth, slightly embarrassed that he's three seconds away from shoving his tongue down your throat while still in the doorway.

"'course, love, i'm sorry," he says, bending down to grab your bag, his hand moving to hold yours as he tugs you into the apartment. 

he shuts the door with his foot, hanging your bag up as you take off your shoes before dragging you over to the sectional couch.

netflix is already set on the tv, blankets and pillows laid out with an array of snacks on the coffee table. a festive vanilla candle is burning and there's light patter of rain hitting the windows outside.

you smile at the sight, lacing your fingers through his as you lean your head against his arm.

"seonghwa," you say, voice dragging out because you feel entirely too soft and impressed looking at the cute little set-up.

something about your tone makes him feel shy, looking down to hide his smile in your hair and you giggle because you know he's feeling embarrassed. "stop laughing at me," he whines playfully, moving away to meet your gaze, "i was excited to see you."

your eyes soften, your own smile widening as you squeeze his hand that’s in yours. "me too," you squeak out and he bites his lip to hide his smirk.

he walks you over to the couch, grabbing the remote from off the table before laying out on the long part of the couch. he drags you down and you shimmy until your back is pressed up again his front, an arm immediately wrapping around your waist.

he sees your head perk up at the tv when the new drama just added pops up. he smiles to himself before pressing play and you look back at him happily. 

"i waited for you to start this, you know," you tell him proudly.

you were pleasantly surprised to find out your boyfriend was also a fan of dramas, fully prepared to beg and plead with him when you first starting dating until he was the one recommending them every time you met up with each other.

"you better have," he says sternly, an underlying playfulness as his hand moves across your stomach to squeeze your waist. 

you elbow and shush him when the opening credits start, settling back into him as places a kiss on the top of your head. this is all he's wanted for a month now.

you close your eyes in contentment, a little hum leaving your mouth before focusing on the tv.

or at least attempting to.

because after just twenty minutes of watching the show, mindlessly commenting on the characters and acting with seonghwa in between, you're doing everything in your power to not turn around and continue what you barely got to start in the hallway.

you two haven't had sex yet, haven't really gotten past making out, but now you find yourself ready to jump his bones. the time apart made you realize how much you want to. how ready you are to open up that side of the relationship.

you turn around in his hold, his arm remaining around your waist as he moves his head to look down at you questioningly.

"you good?" he mumbles and you nod your head, a small smile on your face, teeth biting at your lip because even though you're ready, you're still so nervous.

he watches as your eyes fall to his lips, your tongue coming out to soothe over the skin where your teeth just were before meeting his gaze again.

"yeah," you say, voice soft but shaky because of the desire that's continuing to creep up on you. "are you?"

he can see the slight change in you the more he looks at you. you've always been so...shy and pure with your skin ship, hugs and hand holding and cheek kisses.

but now, with your flushed cheeks, wet lips, and gaze falling down to his for the second time, he feels something stirring in him. 

something he had always tried to suppress because he wasn't sure if you were ready for that. something that's heightening because now he knows you've been thinking about continuing where you left off for the past 20 minutes.

"mhm," he says lips turning into a smirk that he can't hold back. 

just to be sure he's reading you right, his tongue comes out to wet his own lips and he looks you right in the eyes at he does so; he watches in amusement and pleasure as yours widen slightly and you take a sharp inhale.

"have you been enjoying the show, love?" he asks you suddenly and you feel yourself swallow. 

you've never seen him look like this before, look right at you, almost through you, with that teasing, cocky fervor he has on stage and now you realize you've been caught.

your cheeks flush as you feel slightly embarrassed because you're never bold like this when it comes to real kissing. but you just feel so...

"y/n?" he asks and you snap out of your trance, head turning to the side like a puppy who just heard a high-pitched squeal.

"hm?" you hum before you brain somehow registers what he said a few seconds ago. 

"oh...yeah, it's good," you squeak out, an awkward giggle leaving your mouth and he's smiling right at you, his eyes glimmering with a mix of fondness and seduction.

"you're so cute," he mumbles, such sincerity held in his tone causing more heat to flush over your cheeks. his hand moves down to your chin, lifting your face up as he bends down to meet your lips again.

if you weren't so flustered, you would've internally celebrated his lips finally being back on yours. but you were so past that point, so past being aware of what you were doing and just letting your instincts take over.

you kiss him like you've never before, eager and fervent and it's a sharp contrast to the cute little pecks you usually initiate. 

your body is pressing into his almost painfully as you tangle your hands in his hair. 

he hums against your lips, his tongue slipping through your open mouth and you're surprised when your own meets his, pushing your way through and you don't think you've ever kissed him before like this. 

and yet here you are, body pressed against his as your tongues tangle into one another.

he's trying to remember to be gentle with you, that this is new for you, but he's finding it extremely hard with how eager you're being. how you're unaware that you're fighting him for the dominance you won't win.

his teeth sink down into your lip gently, but enough for you to feel it and it causes something to burn inside you. you break the kiss and he immediately pulls back, looking over you to see if that was too much for you.

but instead, he's met with fire in your eyes and your hand on his chest that’s pushing him back so he's fully laying down. his head is laid out on the armrest as you raise yourself over him to straddle his waist.

you're looking down at him with this contrast of desire and apprehensiveness that has his dick starting to twitch in his pants. because he can see even though you're shy and a little unsure of yourself, you want to do something more.

his eyes don't leave you as you move your hair to one side, licking your lips as you watch him watch you. 

his dark, guarded eyes alone have your hips twitching from burning arousal and a tiny smile crosses your face before you bend down to meet his lips again. his hands move to your hips as your kissing continues, tongue and teeth from both of you as your arms hold yourself above him. 

you take his bottom lip in between your teeth slowly, biting down softly before releasing it and the tiny groan that leaves his lips has you pulling back because you think you've hurt him.

"are-are you okay, i'm sorry," you say breathlessly, his dark eyes looking at you causing something tingly and powerful to rip through your core.

"why are you sorry?" he ask voice, voice deeper and strained, "you're doing so good, baby."

he feels himself losing it, losing in his attempt to hide his growing erection and losing his restraint to just flip you over and show him how much he really missed you.

but then it's the way your smile brightens, so sweet and cute and innocently, as you quietly squeak out "really?" that's eventually the thing to get him.

he nods his head, almost in pain by how fast the desire starts to flow through his veins. 

"so so good," he says, almost whining the words out and you feel a familiar wetness start to gather between your legs.

you move your hips again at the sensation and a breathy sigh leaves your mouth when you rub against the bulge in your boyfriend's pants.

he watches you carefully, watches as your face twists into one of wonder and then pleasure, hissing through his teeth when you do it again. except this time, you push down just a little harder with a more purposeful roll of the hips.

"seonghwa," you breathe out and you don't even hear his name tumble out of your mouth. you're just so ready for more, so ready for him to make you feel more of that and do more of anything.

before you know it, you're flipped over on your back, his hands holding you down by your waist as he tries to reign himself in.

"what do you wanna do, y/n?" he asks you, voice gruff because he's trying to get a grip back on reality before he gets too far into this, "we've...we've never gone this far before and i...i don't want us to move too fast and then-"

"i want everything," you tell him immediately, honestly. "please. i've missed you so much and i'm ready now."

his cock is straining against his pants now, having you on your back being so polite and ready - but he has to make sure you're really ready. he doesn't wanna just dive right in after not seeing you for a month and then take your virginity in the first hour you're reunited.

"i just got back, love, we can take it slow," he says, soft sincerity in his tone even with a raging boner, "there's no need to rush if you're not ready."

but you shake your head adamantly because you know you are. 

"no," you say and he'd laugh at your serious tone in any other circumstance. "i know i'm ready, i promise i'm ready," you tell him firmly before something innate in you has you whining "please."

his eyes darken and he finally allows himself to fully give into you, one hand resting between your thighs as he bends down to kiss your lips again.

you respond immediately, hands going in his hair as you move your hips because you feel him so close to where you want him. where you need him. 

he pushes his tongue into your mouth and you nearly choke on it when his finger runs over your pants slowly. you tug on his hair as he continues to rub over you slowly, steadily, and it feels so good but also like it's not enough.

you move to spread your legs, wanting to feel so much more but you're constricted by the arm of the couch and the cushions; you exhale sharply through your nose in annoyance.

seonghwa's finger runs down your burning core one last time before you're looking at him in confusion when he snatches it away. but then he’s looming over you, waiting expectantly before muttering, "stand."

you raise to your feet and squeal when he takes you by the waist and throws you over his shoulder, a smile on his face as he listens to your flustered, broken laughs. 

he makes his way to the bedroom and throws you down on his mattress, standing between your body as he immediately leans down to kiss your neck. 

you lean your head back so he gets more of an angle, breathy sighs leaving your mouth as he tickles you with his soft kisses and occasional sweep of the tongue.

he begins to suck on a spot of your neck and you're expecting it to hurt but it's a sharp pain that you're welcoming with open arms. he licks over the forming hickey after a few moments, groaning against your neck as his hands make their way to the bottom of your shirt.

he pulls back to look at you, eyes searching yours for permission and you nod your head, lip between your teeth as you lift your back off the bed. he pulls your shirt over your head and when he throws it on the floor, your arms are already behind your back undoing your bra.

but it's not until the back is unclasped that you realize this is the first time he's seeing you like this. you feel a twinge of insecurity and nervousness run through you, trying your best to push it aside because there's no reason to be.

it's just scary to you, him seeing you so openly and exposed and naked for the first time.

seonghwa must sense your hesitance because his hand covers yours on the unclasped back, rubbing his thumb over your skin and pecking your cheek with his red lips.

"you okay?" he mumbles against your skin. "if at any time you wanna stop, all you have to do is tell-"

any hesitance you felt is gone when he talks about stopping, your hands tugging down your bra straps before tossing it behind you. 

you run your hands down his torso, grabbing the end of his shirt as you say "your turn," looking up at him with playful, pleading eyes and a groan leaves his mouth at your expression.

he takes his white shirt off before shimming out of his sweatpants, leaving him standing there in black boxers with a big, visible bulge. the searing sensation between your legs is back with a vengeance.

"oh god," you mumble because that is big and he smirks, going over and pushing your back fully onto the bed again.

"what happened, love? were you expecting anything less?" he teases, bringing his mouth down to your chest and you feel yourself swallow. 

his breath just fans over you, void of any lips or tongue as his hands come up to knead your boob softly. his touch is soft and gentle but extremely effective and you're fighting to release the moan stuck in your throat.

he brings a thumb to your mouth and places it on your bottom lip.

"open for me," he says, tone sweet but also authoritative so, of course, it has you obeying. 

you part your lips slightly and he shoves his finger in your mouth, successfully wetting his thumb and his eyes nearly bulge out of his head when he feels your tongue swirl around it several times, slowly and teasingly as you look at him.

"jesus christ," he growls and you fight back a smirk until a choked gasp leaves you. 

his wet thumb is now swirling around your nipple, small, steady circles sending sparks through you and his cock throbs watching it harden under his touch. placing his whole hand on you, his mouth moves down and licks around the other nipple causing your first real moan to leave your mouth.

you'd be embarrassed if it didn't feel so good, if it wasn't obvious how much hearing it affected seonghwa, too. his hand squeezes while his mouth sucks and another breathy moan leaves you as he applies more pressure to both.

his mouth is working your nipple so well that you don't feel his hand graze down your stomach to pull down your leggings. your hips buck in surprise when you feel his hand over where you're wet and throbbing, his effect on you obvious through your white lace.

he pulls away and stares down at you, face flushed and nipples erect while you're trying to contain another moan from leaving your mouth.

"you're so pretty, baby, look at you," he says, still stroking through the lace material at an incredibly slow speed that's making you wanna scream. "does that feel good?" he muses and you nod your head, your voice squeaking out "more. want more."

he smirks hearing the words, removing his hand from you causing you to sharply exhale from your nose.

"move up the bed, by the pillows," he commands and you move backwards until your back is surrounded by five piles of fluff.

you wait expectantly, shaky knees bent as you lay there in just your underwear as he finally makes his way up to you.

"you really are pretty, baby," you tells you and if you weren't so dazed, you'd notice that his eyes haven't left your face. "i missed you a lot. you know that, right?"

you nod your head, licking over your dry lips and your legs are starting to tremble because of the build up of pressure in your core. but you know if you cut him off right now, it would do more harm than good.

"can i show you how much?" he asks you, his fingers in the waistband of your thong but making no move to pull them down yet. 

"can i show you how much i missed you? what i would think about doing some nights when i couldn't sleep and missed my pretty baby?"

you think you're about to pass out, his words, dark gaze and fingers inching further and further down in the lace leaving you with shallow breaths and more wetness between your thighs.

"ye-yes," you mumble out. "yes, please. seonghwa, please," you beg, wanting the throbbing between your legs to be relieved just a little bit.

your voice is whiney, breathy, pleading, all of the things that matched every one of the fantasies he had on nights when his hormones acted up and he yearned for you.

that’s what has him sliding your thong down mid-thigh before moving by your feet, pulling them off the rest of the way and throwing them on the floor. 

he leans down, body half-on half-off the bed as his face is just inches from your wet core. just on instinct, you close your legs and that was the very wrong, or actually very right, thing to do.

because it causes him to growl between your legs, spreading them open and holding them down before his lips dive in to kiss down the inner part of your thigh.

"keep 'em open, baby, it's okay," he mumbles against your skin and you stifle a moan with the inside of your elbow when you feel his lips gaze higher and higher on your thigh. 

"i'm gonna take care of you," he says and you feel the breath from his words fan over you.

his face is now so close to where you need relief you can feel his hot breath for a moment until his lips move to your other thigh, peppering kisses up and down with an occasional sweep of the tongue.

you wanna scream when you feel his smirk on your quivering legs.

"seonghwa," you groan breathlessly as you look down at him and he meets your gaze, eyes half open and glossy, "please."

a part of you is trying so hard to remember for future reference that he likes when you have good manners because when the word leaves your mouth, his eyes darken and he immediately moves his head between your legs.

and then finally, his mouth is on you. 

tongue licking over you slowly and then all at once, your hips almost buck right up from the shock and pleasure. 

he feels your hands move to his hair, pulling and curling it between your fingers and it causes him to move his tongue to your clit, almost as if he's rewarding you.

"does that feel good, y/n?" he suddenly purrs, pulling away from you slightly to talk. 

he watches as you nod your head eagerly, glazed eyes looking down at him and he doesn't even hear the growl leave his mouth before he dives back in, tongue sucking and licking like his life depends on it.

your moans ring through the bedroom and you never knew something could feel like this. feel so intoxicatingly consuming and pleasurable and the fact that he's so happy to do it causes another breathy moan to fall from your lips.

you're too dazed, somewhere euphoric and in your own head that you don't feel his hand snake between your legs, his tongue lapping over your clit as his finger slowly makes his way inside you.

you feel the slight sting and your hips buck this time, your hand tightening in his hair. 

the view of him looking up at you between your legs is something you don't think you'll ever forget. something that will play over in your mind everyday from here on out.

his eyes, despite being so dark and aroused also show a hint of concern and caution and you nod your head at him to continue.

his finger pushes inside you and you let out a tiny groan, one he mistakes for pain until he hears you mumble "oh, fuck." your eyes are squeezed shut, mouth dropped open and your legs spreading open more at the feeling.

he can't stop the pride flooding through his chest nor can he wipe the smirk off his wet lips as he continues to eat you out, one finger slowly moving in and out of you until you feel the knot deep within your lower stomach slowly start to unravel.

it's all consuming at first and it causes a loud moan to rip through you, "seonghwa, what...i’m-" but it only causes his tongue to move faster as a second finger slips in and now you're shaking under him.

he feels a slight twinge of pain as you grab his hair harshly, pushing your hips against his mouth as moans continuously ring out of your mouth. 

he hears one last mumble of "oh, my god," before you harshly pull your hips back, the pleasure becoming too much to handle as you move your hands from his hair to his forehead, slightly pushing him away from the now sensitive area.

he can only hear your shallow breaths as he kisses the inside of your thigh, bending down to pick up his discarded shirt to clean between your legs. 

you can't look down at him right now, too dazed as you're coming down from your high, but you can feel how delicate and gentle his touches are.

he throws the shirt back on the floor, crawling up the bed and holding himself above you. 

his hand reaches out to move sweaty strands of hair off your forehead as he peers down at you lovingly, your own eyes shut and a content hum leaving your mouth.

your eyes pop open and his smile widens, the softest look on his face causing your heart to flutter in your chest.

"how was that, baby?" he asks softly even though the glint in his eyes gives you an inkling he already knows it was-

"good," you say shyly and a laugh bubbles out of his mouth, his eyes squinting playfully.

"just good?" he asks, head turned to that side in disbelief.

you squint your eyes at him playfully, knowing he has every right in the world to be cocky but instead sarcastically mouthing off, "incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular...”

he cuts you off with his lips meeting yours in a kiss and you giggle against them, bringing your arms up to wrap around his shoulders. he pulls back and brings his mouth to your ear, kissing the tiny spot behind it before whispering, "you ready for more?"

a little squeak leaves your mouth and he pulls back to meet your gaze, watching over your expression carefully. 

"we don't have to, love, remember that," he says but you shake your head right when he's done talking.

"i'm ready," you tell him adamantly. "i want us to. and i'm already on the pill."

he smiles softly at you, placing a kiss on your forehead before his eyes meet your again. 

"okay...it might hurt a little but i'll be gentle."

"i know," you tell him because you don't trust anyone more than him.

his chest tightens at the softness and surety in your tone and his thumb comes down to stroke your cheek. 

"stay as relaxed as you can, alright?" he warns, "if you tense up, it could hurt more. "

you nod your head at him, impressed that he can still be so soft and loving and considerate when his cock is rock hard and straining against your stomach.

he gives you one last smile before carefully aligning himself between your legs. he leans over your body and you watch as he drops his palm below your mouth, his dark determined look slowly making its way back.

"spit," he commands and your eyebrows furry slightly but you listen.

"again," he says and swish your mouth around before spitting again.

you watch as he places his spit-covered hand around his cock, eyes shutting slightly as he jerks himself a few times with the natural lubrication. 

you hold back a moan watching him, wanting so badly to touch him like that, learn how to make him feel good and make him cum with your hand and mouth, but you know you'll have lots of time to practice.

his eyes meet yours and he smirks watching you look at him before dragging his tip between your wetness. you inhale sharply at the feeling but try to stay relaxed per his request. 

he gives you a knowing look before circling your sensitive clit with the tip and your eyes roll back, still stimulated from a few moments ago as a tiny groan leaves your mouth.

his tip leaves it after a few moments and he slowly starts to enter you, pushing forward and you hear a groan leave his mouth.

"fuck," he growls and the harshness of his voice alone has your body reacting without your knowledge. your pussy clenches around him, both from his voice and then searing sensation of him entering you.

the more he enters, the more you're stretched and there's only a slight burn; it's not the worst pain you've ever felt but it's also not particularly comfortable. he's almost all the way in when a sigh leaves his mouth, his eyes peaking up at you.

"oh, my god....you good?" he grunts out, voice strained because you're so tight and wet around him and a part of him just wants to slam into you.

you nod at him, trying your best to just stay relaxed and he smiles at you in a daze.

"good, baby, you're doing so good," he says before fully pushing his way in. he stills immediately and you exhale, moving your hips around him experimentally to see if there's any pain.

"it...doesn't hurt, hwa," you assure him, "you can move," you tell him.

and move he does. still slowly and steadily until he's thrusting in at a moderately even pace that has grunts and groans leaving his mouth.

"y/n," he moans and something purely instinctual causes you to meet his hips. "fuck," he growls out, "you're so...fucking tight," he moans and you never thought such a...compliment? would cause you to unconsciously clench around him even more.

"you like hearing that?" he grunts out, his thrusts picking up speed.

you nod your head but then his thrusts start to slow and you look up at him with furrowed eyebrows because you were starting to like it.

"say it. use your words," he commands because his need to assert his dominance is outweighing his pleasure. for now.

"i like...i like hearing that. i like hearing you talk to me like this," you tell him and you're surprised by how easily you've fallen into this role.

he nods his head, almost as if he's commending your compliance and his thrusts start to pick up again. 

there's a few silent moments of just his thrusting, groans leaving his mouth as his head rolls down in pleasure and they’re making you even more worked up.

he meets your gaze and there's something about the way you're underneath him that causes him to lose control. because you're looking at him so eagerly, eyes the slightest bit glossy and dark as your naked chest heaves up and down.

his thrusts stay the same pace but become a little harder and you're still so wet around him. still clenched and squeezing around him so well.

"you're mine, baby," he growls suddenly. "all of you and this tight little pussy."

you don't even realize a breathy laugh leaves your mouth at his comment until another growl echoes through the room, his thumb on your clit as he starts to rub back and forth.

"shit," you squeak, caught off guard by the sensation before you whine his name.

"that's what you get for laughing," he growls, thrusting evenly and you watch as a thin layer of sweat starts to form on his face. "you're mine, baby, don't you know that?"

"ye-yes," you say, the tight knot back in your stomach as he continues to thrust and rub.

"yes what?" he growls. he would've slowed his pace down again if fucking you didn't feel so good.

"i'm...i'm yours," you tell him, eyes rolling back the slightest bit because you feel another orgasm coming on.

"say it again," he commands, sweat rolling down his head as his thrusts become slightly sporadic and hard.

a moan tumbles out of your mouth before you can even say anything because the tightening feels so good, your legs are starting to shake again and your head is thrown back against the mattress.

"y/n, say it," he commands again, a bit louder and rougher and your head shoots up because you feel his finger starts to slow down.

"i'm yours, seonghwa," you moan out quickly. "i'm yours, i'm yours, i'm yours. just please don't stop," you babble out, voice breathy and back arching and both of you let out loud, long moans as you reach your climaxes only seconds apart.

he releases inside of you with one final thrust while his thumb rubs out your orgasm, your harsh breaths filing the room as he rests his head in the crook of your neck.

you brush your hand through the back of his hair for a few moments as he catches his breath, his cock still inside you until he kisses the side of your neck and pulls out to roll over next to you.

he reaches out to pull you on to him, your head resting on his bare chest and you can hear his racing heartbeat slowly start to simmer down.

"are you okay?" he mumbles against your hair tiredly, "that was way more than good, my love," he says causing you to giggle against him.

"i know," you say breathlessly, "i'm good...really good actually."

he laughs quietly against you, his arm around you as his hand plays with your hair and your eyes can't help but close.

the sound of your even breathing is the only noise in the bedroom for a few moments, quiet and peaceful with the faintest smell of sex and vanilla lingering from the living room.

"y/n?" he hums suddenly and your eyes flutter open. you lean up slightly to look at him and see his brown eyes staring down at you.

"hi," you say and a little smile covers his face as he leans down and pecks your nose.

"i love you," he blurts out and your eyes widen hearing those words leave him so easily before he continues. 

"i'm..i’m not just saying that because of what we just did," he reassures you, hand still stroking your hair softly. "i actually tried to tell you on the phone one night," he admits bashfully and your mind immediately replays one of your nightly phone conversations.

"y/n?" he says suddenly and you hum a questioning "hm?" as you lay back down, your head on the pillow.

"i.." he pauses for a second and you hear him exhale slowly, "i lo-"

"c'mon, please! i have to peeeee!"

"i remember. mingi had to pee," you tell him softly, looking down to avoid his intense gaze.

he laughs a little at the memory, rolling his eyes at the mention of the boy as he nods his head. 

"good, i didn't want you thinking that's why i said it. i wanted to tell you the second i saw you...it was so hard being away from you," he says and you don't think you've ever heard his voice so soft and gentle before.

“i missed you so much and then i just..i knew i loved you. for a long time now.”

you feel tears prick your eyes because you felt the same way. 

he's really here next to you right now, he's no longer just a voice on the phone, and he's back with you and feels the same way. you try to compose yourself, try to blink away the tears and swallow the lump in your throat.

"can you look at me," seonghwa says quietly and you move your face into the crook of his neck. it takes a few seconds before he feels the slightest bit of wetness on his skin and a frown immediately overtakes his face.

"y/n, please look at me, baby," he says again and you can't not listen when he talks like that.

you meet his gaze, tears brimming your eyes as one slides down your cheek and his face completely drops, stomach twisting nervously because why are you crying?

"hey, hey, what happened? what's wrong?" he asks urgently, moving his hands to both your cheeks to wipe off the wetness.

"i'm sorry," you squeak out, "i'm so dumb, i just...i love you too," you tell him and the pained expression wipes off his face immediately. "i just...i love you and missed you so much and now you're finally here and you love me."

seonghwa swipes his thumbs under your eyes one more time as a nervous laughs leaves his mouth. 

"jesus, you scared me," he says before he places a soft kiss on the top of your head, “of course i love you.”

a quiet giggle leaves your own mouth, looking at him when he pulls back from your head, "i'm sorry, i just...it just hit me that you were home and i..i'm really happy you're here."

his eyes roam over your face, the feeling in his chest so overwhelming as he looks at you. he pecks both of your cheeks quickly, two loud smacks against your skin and scrunch your nose playfully at his harsh movements.

"i love you," he repeats and you giggle, wiping your hand under your eye because your face is now even more sticky.

"i love you,” you say and he catches your lips in another kiss. 

this one’s a lot more like your previous kisses, soft and innocent and pure. his tongue only teases your entrance a little bit and you smile against him before your stomach growls loudly.

he breaks apart as a laugh bubbles out of his mouth. 

"you hungry?" he asks and you nod your head shyly because apparently, your stomach growling is more embarrassing to you than sharing your first sexual experience.

you roll off his chest and onto your back to stretch out, extending your legs with a slight groan. he shuffles over and holds himself above you, trapping you between his arms.

"what do you want?" he asks, soft eyes looking down at you with his black hair tangled and sticking up messily.

"i don't know," you say coyly, reaching up to smooth out his hair gently. 

your nails gently scrape his scalp and he hums at your touch, eyes shutting slightly at the feeling and he has half the mind to lay back down so you could do this for hours.

but instead, because he hasn't seen in you weeks, his eyes pop open and a mischievous smile covers his face.

"i think i got something for you," he says, "since i just ate so well..."

your eyebrows furry together, head turned to the side in confusion as his smirk grows wider and wider on his face.

"what do you-" a gasp leaves your mouth once your brain finally catches on. "seonghwa!" you say in mock outrage as you smack his chest lightly, crawling underneath him and through his arm till you drop on the floor.

you spot his shirt next to you and quickly throw it over yourself, hiding your smile when you smell his scent around you.

his laugh rings through the bedroom and he gets up to catch you around the waist, pulling your body into his and loving the way you look in his clothes.

"i'm kidding, love," he says, placing a kiss on your temple, "maybe....pancakes?"

you spin in his arms, eyes wide with a bright smile as you eagerly nod.

"yes! pancakes...at least for now," you tell him, your eyebrows shooting up suggestively before you peck him on the cheek and run into the kitchen. 

seonghwa's standing in the bedroom in a daze for a few seconds, feeling grateful and already knowing you both won't be leaving this house for the next seven days.

#moodboard #seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez smut

[meridiansdominoes]

Showers of Starlight

Incoming blyla incoming blyla incoming blyla

This issssss the sequel to ‘Catch the Rain’ that was posted a few weeks ago! @thatfunkyopossum HAPPY BIRTHDAY UR MY FAVORITE <3

(this is like, 6k words?? Is that okay to post in this weird tumblr format?? It’s gonna be mad long... well idk,,, but here it is anyway on ao3 too in case you don’t want to destroy ur dash with a long post heh

ao3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/24758554

Aayla finds her Commander standing out on the little balcony, dressed in civilian clothes and staring out into the city. Night turns Coruscant into an endless sea of luminescence. Air lanes become lines of shooting stars pressing onward in the darkness. Skyscrapers around them glow with the light of thousands of residents inside, creating trails of brilliance that ascend up towards the black sky. 

By the time Aayla arrives at the complex that serves as the temporary housing for her officers while they’re on leave, the sun has disappeared from the sky, and she’s mentally exhausted. A full report to the Jedi Council takes effort and energy that she has to fight to produce, but she is required to give her debriefing before she can get some rest herself. She’s relieved that it’s over now, but there are still a few things to take care of. Her men need to be fully settled, otherwise Aayla won’t be able to sleep well tonight. She knows that Bly will take care of things, but she needs to verify their wellbeing for herself for her own peace of mind. Here on Coruscant they’re finally safe, and she has to remind herself of that somehow.   

Though visiting Bly to check on the men isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If anything the thought makes some of her exhaustion leave her as she steps into the lift that will take her up to her Commander’s quarters. The journey upwards is smooth and quick. When the doors open on the correct floor, Aayla steps out and immediately finds one of her officers in the hallway, clad only in his blacks.  

“General!” Captain Brine says in surprise, blue eyes widening. He snaps off a quick salute automatically. The effect is dampened slightly by the pillow he has tucked under his other arm. “What are you—oh. Looking for the Commander?”

Aayla nods. “Are you well, Captain?”

Brine shrugs.

“Well enough, sir. It’s a bit odd to not be on the ship, but the rooms are nice. Though the pillows leave a lot to be desired. I had to go find myself a new one.”

Aayla huffs out a tiny laugh. 

“I’ll take your word for it, Brine. Could you direct me to Bly’s room?”

“The last one on the left, sir,” Brine answers without hesitation. He meets her gaze carefully, something unreadable flashing across his face. “He’ll try to keep working instead of getting some rest like he should. Maybe you can help him where I can’t.”

Aayla blinks at her Captain, but before she can fully make sense of the words Brine is already retreating towards his own room. He closes his door behind him, leaving Aayla alone in the hallway. She sighs and makes her way to the end of the hall until she stands in front of the very last door on the left. 

It isn’t locked. The door slides open when she knocks lightly on the durasteel. She steps inside. The rooms that Brine had described as ‘nice’ are small and spartan in design. Nice is not the word Aayla would have used, but they’re a step up from the barracks to her men. There are three tiny spaces all hooked together—a small reception area, a tiny unused kitchen, and an even tinier bedroom. Aayla can see through the entire apartment.

Bly is nowhere in sight, although his armor is neatly stacked on the table in the little kitchen. Aayla hesitates for a moment, confused, until she notices the transperisteel door flung open against the far wall. Cream colored floor-length curtains hide the actual doorway from view. She makes her way through the apartment and pushes the curtains aside. 

Aayla finds her Commander standing out on the little balcony, dressed in civilian clothes and staring out into the city. Night turns Coruscant into an endless sea of luminescence. Air lanes become lines of shooting stars pressing onward in the darkness. Skyscrapers around them glow with the light of thousands of residents inside, creating trails of brilliance that ascend up towards the black sky. 

Coruscant is far too polluted for its inhabitants to see the stars that stretch above them through the smog. For some residents, the brilliant night is the closest they will ever get to seeing space around them. It is beautiful, in its own way. From the balcony of Bly’s window it seems as if he is poised on the edge of a glittering nebula, watching the colors swirl in hypnotic patterns and glitter quietly in the dark. 

Bly is framed by the ambient light of the city. Aayla allows herself to just watch him for a nanosecond. She can’t see his face, but the light plays off of his tan skin in such a flattering way that she can’t avert her gaze. There’s a datapad in one of his hands. She raps lightly on the wall to alert him to her presence. He turns a little too fast, free hand jerking down to his side for a weapon that isn’t there right now. Once he’s seen her, he stiffens a little bit into a loose attention. One eyebrow raises slowly.

“General?”

Aayla doesn’t respond immediately, mostly because her brain stalls as she finally takes full stock of what he’s wearing. 

He’s dressed in a loose white shirt with a low neckline that reveals his collarbone and the hint of a gold tattoo over his chest that disappears under the fabric. Her eyes pause on the smooth skin of his neck before she forces herself to drop her gaze—but that just makes things worse, because without the usual armor smoothing out the lines of his body she can see every muscle in his arms. His biceps are... impressive. She spends a moment just... drinking it in, because who knows if she’ll ever get to see this ever again. The tight black pants completing his outfit certainly don’t help her concentration.

Bly coughs suddenly. She glances back up to look him in the eyes. Now that she’s already thinking about such details, it’s hard to stop. The splashes of gold against the slant of his cheekbones is distinctly alluring. Aayla struggles to pull her thoughts out of the downward spiral and grimaces inwardly. She’s left him standing there for a heartbeat longer than necessary. She quirks one lek in a hasty greeting.

“At ease, Commander. I just wanted to ask you if the last of the reports have come in yet.” Aayla steps out onto the balcony to join him. She does, in fact, have the self-control necessary to keep her gaze from roving across his exposed skin this time, as tempting as it is. 

Bly’s body language loosens. He leans against the railing again and taps at his datapad, scrolling through a list of reports. She can see tiny pinpricks of light reflected from the city skyline in his eyes. Aayla settles herself against the railing next to him as well, content to wait as he runs through his mental checklists. 

She reaches out with the Force and grounds herself against his presence. It’s always bright and soothing and mellow to her in a way that she’s never felt before, not even among Jedi. She’s drawn to it. Today his mind is smooth, pulsing gently with peace and relief to finally be on leave. It’s rare that she gets to feel him in that state of mind. Bly is always concerned about something—about the men, about a campaign, about hyperspace routes, about shipping documents… about her. 

Perhaps he thinks he is subtle, but Aayla sees far more than he realizes. 

She notices when his gaze lingers on her, when he hesitates with his mouth hanging open as if he wants to speak before closing it and marching stiffly away. She notices when he bristles with anger and places himself between her and the foolish males that do not see the lightsaber in favor of inspecting her curves. She notices the fleeting smiles that cross his face when he thinks that she isn’t looking. 

She wonders if he’s ever noticed the similar expressions that cross her own face.

There has been an odd tension in the Force lately. It’s a steady buzz, just present enough to nag at her as if ordering her to pay attention to something. It doubles whenever she speaks with her commander. Aayla thinks that she understands why now. Perhaps. Tonight is as good a night as any to either confirm or dispute her theory… if she is brave enough. If she is wise about how she approaches the subject.

It’s a risk, but it’s one that she’s willing to take. Determination floods her veins. 

Bly sighs and looks up from the datapad with a nod of approval.

“I’ve got every report, sir. We’re good to go. I’ve even got the ship’s maintenance schedule here.” He grins wryly. “If only it were like this every time. The crew have sent all the records to me quicker than usual so that they can be off duty faster.”

Aayla chuckles.

“It would spare you a large amount of stress, at the very least,” she comments in amusement. Bly rolls his eyes.

“Force forbid,” he mutters. There’s something so easy about standing next to him, about the civilian clothing, about the casual conversation. Aayla feels a strange pang of jealousy. How easy would all of this be if they weren’t soldiers, if she were not a Jedi? She’s never doubted her purpose before, but Bly is the catalyst for many such thoughts.

Bly lifts his free hand to rub at his face. She glimpses a line of gold curling up his arm, disappearing into his sleeve. She reaches out to touch it without even thinking, brushing her fingers along the line and marvelling at how his something that should feel metallic and cold under her hand is warm and soft instead. She traces the tattoo higher, stopping just before she reaches the barrier of his sleeve. Part of her wants to follow it further. The thought abruptly makes her mouth go dry. 

“It suits you,” Aayla tells him honestly. He freezes up. For an instant, she feels muscles bunching under his skin. She pulls her hand away quickly, afraid that she’s crossed a line, and reaches out with the Force to check if she’s offended him in any way. Perhaps the tattoo is in memory of a lost brother, or a hard battle that he hadn’t wanted to remember right now—

When she brushes Bly’s mind she finds it full of static. His thoughts are racing almost too fast for her to make sense of them. After a moment he seizes them and wrestles them into submission. He swallows once and nods at her politely. 

“Thank you, sir,” he says. Calm, controlled. If she hadn’t glimpsed his thoughts she wouldn’t have known any better. But she does know, and the realization makes amusement and perhaps a hint of mischief course through her. If this is how he reacts to a simple compliment, she can’t imagine how he would be if she were to—

Force. Enough of that. 

“Have the men gotten settled?” she asks quietly, retreating away from his mind for the time being. He straightens at the question, shoulders drawing back.

“Yes, sir. They’re alright.” Then he winces. “They’re… excited. We haven’t gotten a good amount of leave in a while. I was thinking of drafting an apology letter to Fox tonight, just in case.”

Aayla laughs. 

“They deserve to have their fun,” she comments, leaning against the railing and staring out at the skyline in front of them. “We’ve had a busy few months.”

Bly drags in a deep breath and exhales slowly. 

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly. “They were getting tired. This will be good for them.”

“And for us,” Aayla adds. He hesitates, unsure of how to respond. She takes the opportunity to lean over him and pluck the datapad from his hand. A protest rises on his lips, but she shoots him a look, and he bites his tongue. “You deserve rest just as much as the rest of your men do, Commander.”

He nods in reluctant agreement, resting one elbow against the railing and slumping a little. He isn’t completely relaxed, but it’s more than he had been a few moments ago. Improvement.  

Silence settles over them. It isn’t uncomfortable—on the contrary, it’s peaceful. A light breeze stirs through the air. Aayla glances up at her Commander, squaring her shoulders a bit. There is an opportunity here, a chance to act. She takes it.

“What would you like to do after the war, Bly?”

He blinks at her, taken aback. To be fair, she’s never asked him something like this before. During the heat and smoke and fire of a campaign she’d never felt as if it were an appropriate question to solicit. She watches him consider it. He glances down, picking at the loose white shirt as if suddenly unsure of himself. 

“I’m not sure, sir,” he answers slowly. “I was created to be a soldier. I can’t really imagine myself doing anything else with my life. What… what would you like to do?”

Aayla hums. 

“I suppose I will continue to be a Jedi. Though it will undoubtedly be strange. We’ve taken the roles of Generals so easily. Many will struggle to leave it behind.”

His expression flickers as something unreadable passes across his face. 

“Will you?”

She falters.

Aayla will struggle. She already knows that, as surely as she knows that the sun will rise in the morning. Perhaps a few years ago that would have concerned her, but today she accepts it and wonders, not for the first time, if she even will want to leave it behind. Not for the power, not for the thrill of command, but for the men. For Bly.  

The Council would be appalled to hear that. Quinlan Vos would be thrilled. 

“I will not leave my men behind, even if the title of General is removed from me,” she tells Bly firmly. It’s so easy to be honest with him. It’s part of the reason why they work so well together. She sees something in Bly ease a little at her words. 

“That’s good, sir,” he says. Without warning he tenses again, taking a shallow breath. “I don’t necessarily know what I want to do after the war, but I do know that it wouldn’t be worth my time if you weren’t there as well.”

Her heart stutters in her chest. He turns his face back to the skyline, as if immediately berating himself for the comment. Aayla resists the urge to reach out with the Force and find the true meaning of those words, to understand everything left unspoken there. 

“In that case, I would welcome your company,” she responds quietly. Bly shifts his weight just a little. Some of the strain eases from his shoulders at her acceptance. His words hadn’t been an offer, not exactly, but it had been a bold statement—especially for Bly, who understands his priorities and selflessly resists the feelings that he so clearly wants to act upon. Aayla senses conflict in him, a constant battle between remaining stoic and throwing all caution to the wind. 

It would be a lie to say that she did not feel the same thing. 

There is a chain of command. There is a Jedi Code. There are rules, both dictated and not, that must be followed. In all her life she has never found herself wishing that it were not so until now.

Bly pulls away from the railing of the balcony, taking a step back. His tattoos gleam like liquid gold across his arms as he moves into a different light.  

“I… I’ll get some rest then, General. You should too,” he suggests carefully. Too carefully. She is consistently impressed by his restraint. If it weren’t for his careful self-control she would have fallen a long time ago, but he balances her out perfectly in that as well as everything else. She doesn’t want him to leave yet. 

She catches his arm as he tries to turn away with her own hand. Both of them freeze. Aayla looks down at her hand and is suddenly fascinated by the way the blue of her skin contrasts with the warm brown of his. 

“Bly. Stay with me?”

She doesn’t have much right to ask that of him. It’s his room, after all. But Aayla doesn’t imagine the little tremor that runs through his body as he pulls his arm away. She lifts her head to meet his gaze and is stunned by the storm of conflict in his eyes.

“General… I don’t think…”

“Stay,” Aayla repeats softly. She ever-so-gently brushes at the edge of his mind again to make sure she isn’t pressuring him. She won’t force him into something he genuinely doesn’t want to do. 

Bly’s mind is always so welcoming to her. She doesn’t even think that he’s aware of how readily it opens to her, of how easily it shares its secrets with her. For that reason she chooses to keep her distance for the most part, because she refuses to take advantage of him in that way. If she must reach for his thoughts, she keeps the connection as shallow as possible.

On occasions she’s seen his mind flare brilliantly when she’s nearby until he stuffs the light away under a grey shield of professionalism. She catches glimpses of it when he’s not being careful—when they’ve won a campaign and the men are celebrating in a fever, adrenaline and relief and the thrill of success spinning through the air. When she tells him that her recklessness had indeed been part of the plan and he only responds with an eye-roll and a fond chuckle. When he changes an entire battle strategy because she makes a single offhand comment about how she’s worried about destroying a beautiful forest. 

Never once has she felt his mind grow heavy and dark with the sick lust that so many other men succumb to when she approaches. When desire does escape from the deeper recesses of Bly’s mind it is only visible for an instant as a bright flash of heat before he shuts it down without mercy. His respect for her is tangible even without a glance at his thoughts. 

Right now, his mind is hesitant. She can sense that he wants to stay, but he is afraid as well. He’s worried for what he might do if he does remain, for what she might think, for what the men might say. 

If only he could see into her mind. Aayla thinks a bit wryly that he wouldn’t be as afraid if he could feel her own thoughts on the matter.

“I would like it if you stayed,” she reiterates, just so that he understands that this isn’t an order, isn’t something that he’s required to accept. “Though you are welcome to get some rest if you wish.”

It’s a dangerous game that they’re playing. The attraction, the want, is mutual, otherwise it wouldn’t be as potent as it is. Aayla is tired of ignoring the bantha in the room. War takes and razes and tears down everything in its path. For once she wants to take something for herself.

Bly clenches his jaw and nods once.

“I’ll stay,” he acquiesces quietly. In the distance, faint police sirens become audible. Aayla can’t help a tiny smirk at the way Bly’s expression turns pained. 

“There are millions of life-forms living nearby, Bly, I’m sure the men are fine. They probably don’t have anything to do with it,” she teases. He rolls his eyes. 

“If I don’t get some sort of complaint in the morning I’ll be extremely surprised,” he grumbles. The grumpy amusement on his face is so utterly endearing that she steps forward without even thinking about it. 

“Bly…”

His name comes out of her mouth with more warmth than she’d intended. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Aayla.” 

She shivers. Her name rolls off of his tongue in the most delightful way. She draws a little closer to him, just enough to be intruding in his personal space. When he finally opens his eyes to look at her again she can see his defenses crashing down, crumbling as she reaches out to trace her fingers along the gold across his cheek. 

He swallows hard as if bracing himself and reaches out a hand. His fingers brush against one of her lekku tentatively. She makes a soft noise of encouragement, and his touch grows a little more firm, sliding up to rest just at the junction of her skull. Aayla sighs. She leans forward and rests her forehead against his. 

That makes him pause. His eyes go wide, as if he’s only just realizing what he’s doing. He jerks away from her so fast that she briefly loses her balance. The absence of his touch, as fleeting as it had been, makes her chest ache.

“Aayla, I—General. General, Force, this isn’t—I can’t. You have your—the Code, and the regs—”

Aayla exhales. 

“And what if I wanted to choose, just for a moment, that they did not exist, Commander?” she asks him. “The time for hesitation is over. I will not sit in silence and wait until the war takes even you from me.”

Bly’s expression contorts. The edges of his Force presence go jagged. 

“It isn’t that simple,” he forces out. “We could pretend all we want, but that wouldn’t change the rules.”

“Some would say that the rules are outdated,” Aayla counters. She feels a sharp flash of frustration. It’s tempting to let it stew and grow, but she does her best to let it go. 

“That doesn’t matter, sir. We couldn’t ever… if anyone ever noticed, you would be stripped of both your rank and your title as a Jedi Master. I won’t be responsible for that.”

She mulls over his determined words with a sad fondness. He would give up everything he ever wanted just to keep her safe.

“Fortunately, you are not responsible for that,” she replies smoothly. “I am quite capable of making my own decisions. If I were to be expelled from the Jedi Order it would be because I chose that path.”

He stares her down, horrified. Then he narrows his eyes and sets his jaw.

“I would rather have you with me—with us, with the battalion—as a General and nothing more, than not have you at all.”

Aayla’s frustration comes back, stronger this time. She frowns at him.

“As I told you before, I will not leave my men behind, even if the title of General is removed from me. Nor will I leave my men behind if the title of Jedi is stripped from me. This is a risk that I am willing to take.” 

Bly grimaces and tips his head back, sighing at the sky.

“Sir, regardless, I’m not—I’m not worth that risk. I’m a clone. This isn’t just inappropriate, it’s unfair to you, and I can’t—”

“That is not what I believe,” Aayla interrupts sharply. She feels just a jolt of anger, of outrage that he’s been conditioned to think like that. The emotion is difficult to banish. “You are worth far more to me than you could ever realize.”

He twitches and looks away fast. The rise and fall of his chest comes quicker now. His mind undulates with uncertainty and fear. The uncertainty is understandable, but the fear—that, she doesn’t understand. She steps close to him again and watches him tense, glancing at her as if worried of what she’ll do. 

“What are you afraid of?” she asks in genuine surprise. She is just as new to this as he is, after all, and she wants answers. Bly lets out a stuttering breath. 

“I don’t know,” he rasps. The words ring with honesty. An idea flits on the edge of Aayla’s mind. She reaches up to touch his temple. Despite everything, he leans into the touch.

“Let me see,” she requests. For a long moment, he doesn’t say anything, just stares into her eyes. Ever so slowly, he dips his head in a small nod. Aayla closes her eyes.

When she reaches for his mind, his thoughts all but pull her inside. In an instant she’s deeper into his psyche than she’d originally meant to go. All of his emotions roll over her like a wave. She tries to pull away from them, but it’s too late, and she gets thrown into a whirlwind of sensation—

It’s overwhelming. The first thing to hit her is a tide of devotion so fierce that it feels like a firestorm against her own mind. A distinct longing is next, waxing and waning in strength as he struggles to keep it in check. Then there is a devastating clash of loyalty and restraint and desire and helplessness that makes her head spin. 

In the center of it all, she sees herself. 

It isn’t what she expects at all; isn’t even close to how she imagines herself in her own mind. She stands against an infinite stretch of darkness, lighting the way with her lightsaber outstretched as a brilliant blue beacon. She can sense Bly’s instinctual inclination to follow regardless of where she will lead—even if it means death, even if it means something worse. Through Bly’s eyes she is glorious and powerful and ethereal. Except then there is a sharp contrast, because she fights with all the vigor of a warrior but then she turns to look at him and everything goes soft and suddenly he is overcome by admiration and fondness and a hesitant, tentative love—

Aayla reels back. She struggles to stay above the sea of affection and desire and passion that follows after her doggedly, as if it can’t continue to exist without showing her everything now that she’s stumbled across it. She is jolted to reality. Both of her hands are curled tenderly around Bly’s skull. His eyes are squeezed shut. 

She trails her gaze over his face. Aayla is flustered and panting. She had known that he feels something for her, but she’d never realized to what extent. His self-control is even more impressive now that she’s caught a glimpse of what he truly thinks. 

“Bly—you—?”

He blinks his eyes open and immediately lowers them in shame. 

That won’t do at all. Determination swells in her heart along with a strange sensation of desperation, because she’d known, but she’d never truly understood. He’d kept the full extent of his feelings carefully locked away, and when parts of it had escaped they had only implied a mere fraction of what was really going on inside his head. 

She wants—needs—him to understand that it goes both ways.

When she enters his mind again, she lets Bly’s emotions wash around her instead of hitting her full force. She sinks deep, catching glimpses of memories and snippets of sound—

A battlefield shouldn’t be alluring, but with fire swirling around her and sparks drifting past them, she’s more glorious than anything else he could ever imagine.

He wishes that he could express the sensation that he feels whenever she looks at him like that, how his heart seems to swell three sizes and continue expanding until it’s all but bursting out of his chest. 

Blue. Blue. Blue. He can’t get the color out of his head, can’t stop his eyes from trailing over her skin and noting all of her visible scars, can’t focus right even though he knows that he needs to concentrate.

She makes a bad call. Not even the best Generals are without fault. Brothers die. For all that he admires her she is still flawed, but somehow that doesn’t detract from how badly he wants her, from how much he cares. She is imperfect and scarred but he loves her all the more for it, for how she fights to become better with every breath she takes.

It’s raining. She looks happy. She looks at peace. Her eyes are bright. She’s beautiful. He wants to reach out and touch her. He aches because he can’t. 

Nothing will ever come out of his feelings but he will content himself with the fleeting sensations of joy he finds when she presses her spine to his in the middle of a battle and fights with absolute certainty that he’ll be there to guard her back. 

Jedi aren’t immortal and that has never been more obvious now. She is sick and miserable and tired. He convinces her to leave the bridge under his command for the day and go get some rest. When he drops by her room to update her on the Separatist’s movements she is sprawled out on her bunk, mouth hanging open and drooling. It is possible the most unflattering view of her that he’s ever seen. He hardly cares. He sits next to her anyway, a grin springing to his lips as she stirs and blinks up at him, surprised at his presence. There’s nowhere else that he’d rather be. 

He hadn’t been created to love. Sometimes he wishes that he had been.

There. Hidden in that thought Aayla finds hints of darkness. She catches a hold of the trail of insecurity she had originally intended to follow and chases after it. 

Chain of command aside, Jedi code aside, anything he feels for her is foolish. Bly is not unique, not special despite his rank. Even if there were no restrictions he has millions of brothers who all look the same, so why would she pay any attention to him at all?

He is Kaminoan property. There is no place for love in his purpose. He barely even understands the concept even though he knows the word. He couldn’t possibly offer her what she wants, isn’t worthy to even try. He’s just a clone, nothing more.

It hurts her to feel how deeply those thoughts are woven into his mind. She tugs at them carefully and feels him lurch. Somewhere in the real world she feels hands clutching at her shoulders, but she can’t focus on that right now.    

She won’t be able to replace the thoughts, can’t destroy them as much as she would like to. Instead she presses her own thoughts over his, carefully so that he can sense every detail.

Gold is enthralling to her now. Her eyes get stuck on it automatically. She can only think of armor and tattoos and eyes and tan skin—and a steady presence beside her that she wouldn’t trade for the galaxy. 

They are alone and desperate and fighting. Aayla pushes herself to move faster, to fight harder, to continue even though her limbs are shaking because she won’t let him die, not today. It would hurt more than anything to replace a battalion but it would tear her into pieces and leave her incapacitated to lose Bly.

It’s raining. She coaxes him to step into the open and tilt his head upwards. His Force presence goes still and calm as he stares up into the clouds above them. Raindrops settle in his hair like tiny glass orbs and scatter across the tattoos on his cheeks. She wants to reach out, she wants, she wants. She senses that he does too, but then he pulls away and she marvels at his control even though her chest contracts in disappointment. 

He stands against a hailfire of blaster bolts, unshaken, grounding her along with the rest of his brothers, pistols blazing. She draws strength from his courage and pushes forward. She trusts him with her life. She knows with unshakable certainty that Bly will have her back.

It’s late. The hangar is empty except for them, seated on top of a LAAT with the hangar bay doors thrown wide open to show wide-open space above them. When she turns her head over to look at Bly she sees a wide-eyed awe on his face. He marvels at how different the stars look from here than on Kamino. His joy is tangible. Aayla only has eyes for him. She feels warm and happy and light in a way that she’s never felt before. 

He smiles at her fondly and she feels faint suddenly, as if the single breathtaking, handsome, devoted expression is enough to stop her heart.

Love is dangerous because she is a Jedi. But she looks at him and decides that she doesn’t care.

Aayla lets him feel and see and understand every inch of her yearning, every ounce of her awe. His entire mind quakes under her touch. She feels the knot of darkness shiver and unravel a bit. She can’t get rid of it just yet. That will take time. She dares to hope that she’ll get the chance to try soon. 

She comes back to herself. Bly’s hands are trembling on her shoulders. When she makes a soft noise of concern he wrenches them off of her and presses his fists against his sides. 

“Aayla,” he groans, and he sounds absolutely wrecked. Like he’s seconds from falling apart. His eyes are bright and wide. They’re practically glowing in the dim lighting.    

“I want you,” she tells him firmly, forcing every bit of blunt honesty into her voice as she can. She brushes her thumbs across his cheekbones and then lets her hands drop. “This is worth the risk to me, Bly. But it is up to you.”

She puts the choice in his hands and half expects him to turn away, to mull over everything he’s felt, to hesitate again. 

He does not. 

Instead, he makes a strangled sound, leans in, and presses his lips to hers.

It’s the last thing she’s expecting. She nearly stumbles as a result. His panic spikes into the Force until she grabs his shoulders and kisses him back. 

The Force surges in a flare of heat and electricity around them. Bly exhales shakily against her. The brush of their lips is light and tentative. Aayla gathers herself, curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt and deepening the kiss. Their mouths slant together. One of Bly’s hands finds her lekku again and strokes it gently. Her knees go weak underneath her at the pleasant sensation, at the feel of his mouth against hers. 

When they break apart, Bly is gasping like he’s dying and can hardly believe his own audacity. Aayla feels heat crawling up her neck. She can’t stop panting either, and she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. 

She’d hoped to get this far, to help him see that he’s worth it, that this is a risk that she’s willing to take, but she hadn’t expected any of that. This is unfamiliar to both of them.

 “I—I didn’t—I—” Bly stammers out, and Aayla just blinks at him, because she isn’t doing much better. 

Neither of them say anything for a long moment. Aayla can’t tear her gaze away from his face. He’s still so afraid, but she can see his mind weighing all of the options, struggling to make a final decision. 

The pinprick of cold on her forearm makes her jerk. It’s followed by another on her lek, and then another on her forehead. 

It’s raining. 

Bly sucks in a sharp breath. 

It rains once in a blue moon on Coruscant. It isn’t unheard of, but it isn’t common either. Aayla remembers a memory from a forest planet months ago, etched into both of their minds with striking clarity and sentiment. Slowly, Bly tilts his head back until he’s looking up into the sky. 

She had shown him that. It sends a thrill down her spine to watch him remember, to feel his Force presence go from raging indecision to solidifying into careful determination.  

The raindrops are growing bigger. She can hear them clattering against the balcony around her. A droplet splatters against her nose. She reaches out to brush the water away and goes still when Bly reaches for her hand, threading their fingers together as if he’s afraid that she’s going to change her mind.

“It’s worth the risk,” he whispers, like a prayer. She smiles at him. After a heartbeat, he returns it. “I want... I want you too.”

His words make Aayla feel giddy, like she’s soaring, light as a feather and free as the wind. The rain comes down around them. It would only take a few steps to enter the room and dry off but neither of them move.

She wants to kiss him again. The relief and elation she feels as she realizes that she actually can now is heady. His lips are still parted ever so slightly. When she leans in again, he meets her halfway. 

It doesn’t matter that they’re going to get drenched. It doesn’t matter that there’s a chain of command or a Jedi code. It doesn’t matter that there’s a war going on and sometimes it’s safer to not get attached. 

She focuses on Bly and finds peace in the rhythm of the rain. It’s worth the risk.

#fanfic #blyla #clone wars #Aayla Secura #commander bly #oh i'm so weak for them #wow jaymes congrats i'm addicted and it's your fault XD #writing

[mxliv-oftheendless]

~The King Knows~

Wow, how long has it been since I wrote a KISSteria story, huh? A while. Maybe over a month. But point is, I’m back, and with more disgusting fluff!! Also today was pretty blech for me so hey, why the hell not. 

So for some context, this takes place after @cosmicrealmofkissteria’s story Letters, where we saw Starchild and Tomaziel starting to write letters back and forth to each other. The letter featured here can be found in that story as well. The title pretty much spoils what’s gonna happen lol sorry, but read on and enjoy anyway!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

From the moment Tomaziel received Starchild’s first letter, he had saved them all. With each new letter that arrived came a new addition to the collection carefully hidden away in one of his dresser drawers. Tomaziel couldn’t bring himself to throw any of them away, too overjoyed to think of the very idea. Whenever his mood was slipping, or he was stressed or frustrated, all he needed to do was think of the drawer full of wonderful letters and he would smile again.

Sometimes he would open a drawer and take out a letter to reread, always smiling at the loving words crafted in neat handwriting. Starchild couldn’t possibly know how wonderful it was to receive a letter from him. Sometimes he felt like he couldn’t send him a response equally stylistic or passionate; but then again had Starchild reassured him in a letter that he always loved to read what he wrote.

With a sigh, Tomaziel put down his pen and dragged his hand over his face. How long had it been since he’d stepped out of his office? A few hours. Heavens, he needed a break.

With a slight smile, he reached into a drawer and pulled out the envelope he’d placed in there. It was the first letter Starchild had ever written him. Of all his letters, for some reason he was drawn to this one. It still had his name written on the front in Starchild’s neat elegant script. It didn’t smell like his rose cologne anymore, but he didn’t need for it to be there to remember what his cologne smelled like.

Tomaziel took the letter out of the envelope and unfolded it, sitting back in his chair and beginning to read it. Dearest Tomaziel, indeed your letter has meant—

“Hey, Tomaziel!”

Tomaziel jumped out of his skin as Ace entered his office. He quickly folded the letter and tried to inconspicuously hide it under papers on his desk. “My King, what a... a surprise. Is there something you require?”

Ace sighed, but still had a lopsided smile. “Tomaziel, there’s no one around. You don’t have to use formalities. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I... I’m doing fine, thank you. How is the Princess? Is she any better?” Princess Monique had come down with a stomach bug the day before, that left her stuck in bed all night and for most of the day.

“She’s sleeping now, but she’s doing better than yesterday.”

“I can have tea sent up to her bedroom,”

“No, I’ll do that myself.” Ace gave him a curious look. “Were you reading something?”

Uh oh. “Er... yes, I was. It was a... document.” Technically, he wasn’t lying.

“Yeah... what kind of document?” Ace snickered. “What, is it a love letter or something?”

Even though Ace had made that joke hundreds of times before, Tomaziel hesitated before answering this time. “... N-No...”

Ace snorted. “Tomaziel, you’re a bad liar.”

“Thanks for the compliment, my King.”

Ignoring the sarcasm, Ace peered curiously at his desk. “So? Where is it?”

“Where is what?”

“The love letter! I wanna see it!”

Oh god. He could not see the letter. If he knew... “I-I really don’t think you should, my King... It’s my letter.”

“But what if it’s from a nice girl or guy?? I wanna see who’s finally captured my closest friend’s heart!”

“Not finally captured...” Although Tomaziel did have to admit it had been a very long while since his last relationship. His hand unconsciously moved to rest over the letter. “But it’s none of your business, my King.”

After knowing Ace for years, he should have known his nosy friend wouldn’t leave it at that. “C’mon, just let me see the seal? Maybe me or Amalthea knows who it is.”

Oh, he had no idea. Tomaziel sighed and inched out the letter from under the papers to hold it up. “There. The seal’s been broken, so you can’t see who it’s from. But here it is—”

“Yoink!”

“Hey!” Tomaziel’s heart stopped as Ace dove forward and plucked the letter out of his hand. He sprang to his feet desperately. “M-My King, no! Give it back!”

“In a second, I wanna see what it says! Ooh, fancy handwriting.”

“Please give it back,” Tomaziel begged. “My King, please—”

His terror grew as Ace began reading the letter aloud in a melodramatically romantic voice. “Dearest Tomaziel... Indeed your letter has meant so much to me. I read it every morning so the words remain in my mind throughout the day.”

“Give me that back!” Tomaziel lunged for it, but Ace put his hand over his face with a laugh and held the letter out of his reach as he continued, his voice louder and a grin on his face.

“They are such a comfort. Such a blessing. They are a reminder that I have someone who cares deeply for me and it fills me with joy. I never believed I would ever find true love again until I met you. Awww, that’s so sweet!”

“Ace, I swear—!”

“I think of you and my pulse races. I can feel a warm blush upon my cheeks. And it is the most wonderful feeling in all of the Realms. My darling Jendellian Knight...” Ace laughed. “They’ve even given you a nickname!”

Tomaziel’s terror grew as he reached the end of the letter. No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening...

“I remember your handsome face so clearly. I will sketch it and keep it close to me until we are reunited. Awww, you really bagged a keeper, Tommy! Let this scent be a reminder of me. Love always...”

And his stomach plummeted when Ace trailed off and his grin faded. “Starchild.”

The hand let go of his face, and he quickly reached for the letter, but Ace still held it out of his reach, staring at Starchild’s signature on the letter. The imprint of his lips was still beside the signature, the red mark having not faded away yet.

Tomaziel’s heart pounded in terror. “M-My King, I... I can explain...” How was he going to explain this? And how could he do it in a way that didn’t involve disappointing Ace? Ace wasn’t just his King, he was one of his closest friends. “I-It—It was during the diplomacy meetings with the KISSterian Council, and he and I began to spend more time together—just as friends, I promise—but then we grew closer and—”

“Tomaziel.” Ace turned around and he shut his mouth. “Calm down. I’m not angry at you.”

“... You’re not?”

“Tom, of course I’m not. I’m just... Well...” Ace shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know yet, but I do know angry’s not how I feel.” He let Tomaziel relax, then continued. “So... when did you start writing him?”

“After... After they left. I-I sent him one the day after they all left.”

“So that’s what you were doing in your office all afternoon?”

Tomaziel’s face colored lightly as he remembered that day. He’d written and rewritten his letter over and over again, until it was perfect enough to be sent out. “Yes, that is what I was doing,”

“Has he sent you more besides this one?”

Tomaziel couldn’t help his heart fluttering at the thought of all the letters from Starchild tucked away in his dresser drawer. “Yes, he has.” There was a pause, then he said fretfully, “Please do not tell anyone. No one knows—you’re the first one to find out.”

This time, Ace smiled. “Don’t worry, Tomaziel. I won’t tell anyone.”

“So... So you really aren’t angry?”

“For what? For writing Starchild letters? I mean, going by this they must be pretty passionate letters.” Ace grinned when Tomaziel flushed blue and stuttered. “I’m happy for you, buddy,” he said, giving him a one-armed hug. “You deserve to have a nice relationship. How long have I been saying you should get yourself a girl or boyfriend?”

Tomaziel blushed again. “Ever since I became your aide.”

“Exactly! Even if it’s kinda unorthodox, I don’t mind. It clearly hasn’t interfered with your job. So do what you like. Just... He hasn’t said anything to hurt you, has he?”

Tomaziel thought back to when Starchild had snapped at him when he brought up Nikki Terror. But Starchild had still explained everything to him. “No, he hasn’t. I trust him.”

“Good. That’s good. I’m glad you’ve found each other.” Ace grinned at him. “Good thing I didn’t find a letter you sent him, huh? Then I’d finally see what your love letters look like.”

If possible, Tomaziel’s face turned an even darker shade of blue than before, even as he laughed. “You definitely don’t need to see that. You’d never let me hear the end of it.”

“Damn right I wouldn’t. What are friends for?”

Laughing, Tomaziel smiled gratefully. “Thank you for understanding, Ace. I know you and Starchild...”

Ace waved a hand. “Yeah, I know, but it’s been years since we were together like that. Amalthea is the one I really love. And from the looks of things, the one Starchild truly loves is you.” Ace smiled at him. “Besides, I would never wanna mess with something that’s making my best friend happy. I promise I won’t tell anyone. And uh, sorry I snatched the letter from you like that.” He held it out for him to take back. 

Tomaziel was sure he hadn’t felt this happy in a while. “It’s alright. Thank you, Ace. Really.”

Ace patted his shoulder with a smile. “Anytime, Tomaziel. Well, I’ll let you get back to work.” He let Tomaziel go to sit back down at his desk before saying, “If it is work, and not daydreaming about Starchild... you darling Jendellian Knight.”

Tomaziel groaned as Ace left his office, his head thrown back in laughter the whole way out. He wasn’t going to hear the end of that for a while. But then again, he thought, at least it was just that. Ace really didn’t need to know about the lovely dreams he had about Starchild.

It felt good to tell someone, even if it was only Ace. He knew Ace wouldn’t tell anyone about him and Starchild. It felt like a weight had slid off his shoulders.

With a widened smile, he slid out a new sheet of paper and picked up his pen to write another letter.

#Shandi's KISSteriaverse #spacechild #hi yes hello i still love spacechild lol #so yep. that happens. #don't worry the loveable dorks are gonna be okay #hope you guys enjoyed! #kiss au writing #my writing #starchild #tomaziel #thanks for reading!

[calumance]

Running Away - C.H.

Warnings: angst, some fluff at the end, tiniest bit of cussing.

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Stress is hard to deal with, it’s even harder to deal with when you bottle it up inside and hide it from the one person who know how to make it better.

A/N: This was requested from a anonymous person who sent me a message. I hope everyone likes it!! (and due to my lack of posting, I haven’t proofread this so apologies for the spelling errors!!) Feedback and requests always welcomed!!! (want to be tagged? Let me know!)

Masterlist

           The office was dark, and absolutely silent. She was pretty sure everyone else in the office had gone home hours ago. Her head was pounding as she looked at the clock. According to the time, she should’ve been home two hours ago, but the new project her boss had put her on was making it so that she’s had to stay late almost every night this week. She lowered her head into her hands and sighed, all she wanted to do was go home and relax on the couch with her boyfriend. The project isn’t due for another few days, so she figured she could leave her work until tomorrow. With another sigh, she lifted her head and started to pack up her desk so she could head home.

           When she pulled into the driveway, all the lights in the house were off and her boyfriend’s car was gone. She let out another sigh and headed inside the house. Once she was inside, the only thing that greeted her was the black and white fluffy dog that she’s grown so attached to since she moved in six months ago. She flicked on the lights of the kitchen, immediately finding a note on the counter. “Hey baby! I had to go to Ash’s house to work on some demos, I didn’t have a chance to make anything for dinner, I left you some cash so you could order yourself some food. I might be home a little late, I love you, see you later.” She set down the note and eyed the cash on the counter. Suddenly, she was the opposite of hungry. She rolled her eyes and turned to the wet bar and poured herself a glass of wine before heading down the hallway towards the bathroom.

           The candles lining the bathtub were lit, and the water had a thick layer of bubbles on the top. Her clothes fell to the floor before she climbed in, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh of relaxation. After settling into the water, and taking a large swig from her wine glass, she grabbed her phone and started scrolling through some social media. Everything on her social media was incredibly hard to look at. Every time she scrolled, it was another attack on her or an attack on her relationship with Calum. This had been going on for a few weeks now, but she hadn’t had a chance to bring it up to anyone. She closed out her apps and opened the group chat with Sierra, KayKay and Crystal, typing a message saying, “How do you girls handle internet attacks? It’s been really bad this past week and work has been crazy and I don’t know how much more I can take.”

           The little grey dots showed up and quickly a message from Crystal came through, “At the beginning I’d get upset about it, but now I just turn off my phone and ignore everything until it passes, since everything does.”

           Another bubble showed up with a reply from Sierra, “I always talk to Luke about it. He always knows how to make me feel better. I never ask him to say anything publicly about it, but sometimes he does.”

           KayKay was the last to reply, but all she said was, “What’s going on? Are you getting attacked online?”

           “Yeah. I’ve been having some pretty rough days at work lately, and now I’m seeing all this shit about me online…it’s starting to be a bit too much.” Her fingers tapped furiously at the screen as the tears welled in the rim of her eyes.

           “Calum is here, do you want me to talk to him?” KayKay responded.

           “No, I’ll talk to him later. Going to order some food and then take a nap until he gets home. Thanks for talking with me, loves.” She ran a hand across her forehead before sending the message, putting her phone off to the side and settling down into the tub. Her eyes closed as she let out a breath in order to relax.

           After some time had passed, and she could no longer lay in the water, she got out and drained the tub. Trying to relief any bit of stress she felt, she put on her favorite lotion and her favorite pair of pajamas. Duke followed her out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where she reached down and grabbed his food bowl. After she set his bowl back down, she walked to the couch and pulled her knees into her chest. The TV played a mindless show as she sunk into herself, pulling her hood up and over her head. All she wanted to do was cuddle with her boyfriend and relax.

           It wasn’t until the front door shut loudly, and she jolted awake, that she even realized she was asleep. She sat up and rubbed her eyes seeing Calum walk into the kitchen hastily. There was rummaging in the kitchen as she pushed herself up and walked the short distance, pulling the hood off her head. “Hey, Cal. How was your night?”

           Calum’s head snapped toward her, causing her to step back, “Fine. Did you order any food? I’m absolutely starving.” She shook her head and Calum replied by rolling his eyes. “I was really hoping you had ordered food, I even told Ashton I didn’t want to eat there because you were going to order something. Man, why is it that you only think about yourself?” Calum ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

           Her eyebrows knitted together as she dropped her hands to her side. “I’m sorry, your note didn’t say ‘order food so we can eat together later,’ your note said ‘order yourself some food.’ I wasn’t hungry so I didn’t order anything. I literally did what your note said.” The rage inside her stomach started to boil, but she tried to keep it calm.

           His eyes focused on her as daggers came shooting out of them. ‘Well, maybe you would’ve thought about the fact that all you’ve been doing is staying at work late, so we never get to spend time together, but that’s all you think about, too.” His eyes widened as he spat the words out. A fire raging behind them that made her stomach turn.

           “I’ve been working my ass off so that I can move up in my career, my career is going to be there even when you’re not!” She raised her voice at him, “If you truly believe that all I care about is myself, then why don’t you go date someone who will look better in front of the cameras and get you all the views and see how much they care!” The rage inside her stomach had finally boiled over, the tears stinging on her cheeks and they rolled down. She licked her lips and spun around before letting Calum say anything. The next thing she knew she was running down the street, away from the place she thought was home.

           While she ran, she thought about where she was going. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but all she knew was she wanted to go somewhere she could scream. Scream as loud as her lungs would allow and no one could hear her. The ground pounded beneath her feet, her pace not slowing in the slightest. It wasn’t until she got to the top of a hill and reached a clearing, the city was in front of her, the lights twinkling in the night. Her breath was heavy, there was a chill in the air. She took one last final breath before screaming at the top of her lungs as he knees bent and she dropped into a squat, placing her hands on either side of her head. Suddenly, all the noises in her head and in front of her died down.

           Her head lifted from her hands as she fell back and sat on the ground, holding her knees to her chest. The city became blurry as the tears welled in her eyes. As she continued to stare at the lights of the city in front of her, she blinked and let the tears roll down her face. She stayed there until her breath evened out, and then a little longer, suddenly finding herself lost in the movement of the lights in front of her. It wasn’t until the uncomfortable sting of the dirt beneath her started to become unbearable that she realized she had sat there far too long. As she shifted, she blinked, clearing the haze from her vision, then pushed herself up off the ground to start her walk home.

           She had an idea in her head how far she had run just based on how far the city was from her, but it didn’t become completely clear until she found herself absolutely exhausted from the long walk back home. The lights of the house were still illuminated, and the brightness matched the pain in her feet. As she opened the door, all she could think about was falling into bed and sleeping, whether Calum wanted her to be there or not. The door shut behind her and she started walking towards the bathroom to strip out of her pajamas and put on something that wasn’t covered in sweat. Just as she rounded the corner to the hallway, she heard a soft voice call her name. When she turned to the left, she saw Calum slumped on the floor, back pressed to the couch, his phone clutched in his hand. The rims of his eyes painted red, and black circles tucked underneath his brown eyes. She stopped dead in her tracks, putting her hands in the pocket of her sweater. “I didn’t think you’d ever come home.” He said, pushing himself off the ground.

           Just as her shoulders lifted in a shrug, she eyes the clock on the wall behind Calum. She hadn’t realized she had been gone multiple hours. She pulled her lips into her mouth and dropped her gaze to her feet. “I don’t exactly have anywhere else to go.” She lifted her gaze back to Calum and squinted her eyes, “Listen, I just want to change and go to bed.”

           “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been getting harassed online?” Calum asked, holding his phone up only a few inches. She pulled her eyebrows together, silently asking him how he found out. “What you said before you ran out, it didn’t make sense to me. I got online and I saw all the horrible things that were being said about you, and then I called Luke to tell him about it and Sierra told me that you were texting her today saying it’s been going on for a while, and with the stress from work,” He trailed off, his eyes starting to water. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

           Feeling the tears starting to well in her eyes, she pulled her lips into her mouth and looked at her feet as they shifted under her. With a shrug she responded, “Didn’t want to bother you. I can handle my own problems.” She didn’t look at him while she waited for him to respond. Instead of responding, though, he lunged towards her and threw his arms around her, pulling her as close to him as he possibly could.

           His lips rested on the top of her head as she hesitantly wrapped her arms around him, melting into his body and eventually letting out all of her pent up emotions. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know all of this was going on. I said you were the selfish one, but it turns out I was the one being selfish. How can I make it up to you?”

           She felt her body relax as he apologized and she shook her head against his chest. “I was being selfish too, I should’ve told you.” He nodded against her head, “You know how you can make it up to me?” She asked him, lifting her head from his chest. He hummed, waiting for her response. “Cuddle with me until I fall asleep, and then breakfast in bed tomorrow morning.”

           A smile stretched across his lips as he nodded, “It’s a deal.”

#asks #anon #requests #calum hood #Calum Hood blurb #calum hood imagine #Calum Hood oneshot #Calum Hood fic #Calum Hood fan fic #Calum Hood fan fiction #Calum Hood x fem!reader #fem!reader #Calum Hood 5sos #Calum Hood 5 seconds of summer #calum #calum blurb #calum imagine #calum one shot #calum fic #calum fan fic #calum fan fiction #calum x fem!reader #calum 5sos #calum 5 seconds of summer #Calum Hood writing #calum writing

[a-dose-of-harold]

Once in a Lifetime: Chapter 20

Once in a Lifetime: A Harry Styles AU Imagine Series

I’m sorry that I haven’t updated for years; took me a while to find motivation and finally put what in my mind into words… so I hope you enjoy it!

All the love.xx

Chapter 20: The Muse

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

October 2019: Barcelona, Spain (Memories)

Zayn’s POV

It was the fifth morning of our vacation. The golden sunlight peaking through our resort curtains had woken me up from my deep sleep. I tightened my eyes and winced from the slight soreness in my arms and thighs. I felt her body next to mine and my heart skip a beat.

Flashbacks from last night with Y/N hit me and a smile slowly crept across my face; it was a night that I know I will always remember. The romance, the passion, the love… all of it was new to me. I honestly never had felt this strong about anyone in my life.

Last night I realized that I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her and it hasn’t even been a year.

I slowly inhaled and then exhaled as I opened my eyes. I looked over to my right to see Y/N sleeping peacefully on her stomach with her arms tucked under her pillows. The sun was hitting her body so perfectly and God, did she look flawless.

I slipped out of bed, pulled on my boxers and quietly tiptoed over to my bag and pulled out my sketch book and pencil set and began drawing her.

I have traveled all around the world, seen countless beautiful artwork and sculptures, visited the most amazing places and heard various pieces of music that changed my life… but nothing was a breath-taking as Y/N.

I drew every detail of her body that I could see; I added shadows, highlights, and even drew the texture of her hair that rested so perfectly down her back and along the pillow as she slept. Her steady breathing helped me focus as I worked my hands across the paper. I felt so at ease in her presence. She knew that I love to draw and paint her here and there, but she had no idea that I had began a small collection of just pieces that all pertain to her in my studio. She was my muse. She brought out this side of me that I never knew I had. She believed in me and always encouraged me to keep drawing and painting because she whole heartedly believed that one day someone will recognize my talents.

About an hour and half passed and I had finally finished, I smiled to myself as I tucked my drawing back into my bag and crawled in bed next to her and trailed butterfly kisses up her bare back and across her shoulders.

“Morning Zayn,” She whispered, eyes still closed. She snuggled her body closer to mine as she pulled the top sheet to cover us.

“Morning babe,” I grinned as I wrapped my arms around her naked body and kissed the top of her head.

She suddenly rolled over her body on top of mine, slightly confusing me. She picked her head up and placed a kiss on my lips blindly and began trailing kisses down my neck and to the other side.

Ooh.

I moved my head to the side for her to have more access to my neck, “Love… We have a lot of things to do today.” I chuckled.

She paused her movements and picked up her head and peaked through one eye, “Are you saying no to my lazy morning advances?”

She tucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and smiled before she began kissing my jawline and neck.

How in the world am I suppose to say no?

“I’m not saying no, I’m just… saying… that… we have a lot to do… today.” I breathlessly replied.

“Mmmm please, I want you,” She mumbled against my ear.

I felt my cock twitch and flipped her over; a giggled escaped from her lips, one of my favorite sounds in the world.

“Guess last night wasn’t enough for you?” I placed a kiss on her lips then neck.

“I can never get enough of you,” She grinned as she ran her fingers through my hair and crashed her lips into mine.

Damn, I am so in love with her.

September 2020: Manhattan, New York City (Present Day)

Your POV

Liam and Sophia were gone on their week long honeymoon in the Fiji Islands. I had been working like crazy all week since Eleanor and I had received new patients and had to run them through a series of tests, study lab diagnostics, and extensive research to figure out the best course of action. I had been getting headaches every single day from the stress, which was stressing me out even more because I couldn’t focus and I needed a clear head when it came to making a decision that affects my patients’ outcomes.

On another note, Harry and I have been inseparable. He and I could barely stand a few hours without each other. It’s like nothing I have ever felt before.

A few nights ago, I was absolutely exhausted after work and so was he; he had called me around 10pm after he got out of the shower and wanted to say goodnight. I honestly didn’t mind that he wanted to sleep at his own since work had drained me that day and all I wanted to do was sleep. After we said our goodnights to each other and hung up, I settled in bed and tried to sleep.

But I couldn’t.

I kept tossing and turning and going crazy because I was so exhausted, I knew I was, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I then realized that ever since Harry and I started dating again we hadn’t really spent a night without each other. It had become second nature to us to just stay at one another’s, so tonight was the first night I had been without him since June. I had just seen Harry this morning and already I was missing him.

I looked at my clock to see it read 11:36pm. An hour had already passed and as tired as I was, I was willing to drive over to Harry’s. I groaned as I sat up and grabbed my phone.

Just as I was about to call my boyfriend, I heard the front door to my condo open and jumped.

Only two people have the key to my place besides the landlord: Liam- in case of an emergencies; and Harry. I crawled out of bed and peaked my head out of my door to see Harry walking towards my bedroom with a duffel bag over his shoulder.

“Hi,” He smiled as he dropped the bag and wrapped his arms around me, “I couldn’t sleep without you.”

I returned his hug and kissed his lips, “I couldn’t either, I was just about to call you to tell you I was coming over.”

Harry guided us to my bed and lightly pulled me down next to him, “I’ve missed you love.”

We both settled into each other’s arms and within two minutes we both drifted off to sleep.

- - - - -

It was the Friday night before Zayn’s art show, Eleanor and I coerced our boyfriends into a double date since Liam and Sophia were still not going to be back for another couple of days.

“Are we really going to see an old film while sitting on picnic blankets?” Louis groaned as Harry pulled up to Central Park. Central Park was hosting a movie night for lovers, they had a giant huge screen set up with popcorn stands, cotton candy machines, soda stands and boxes of candies. 

“It’s not that old Louis, there’s color.” Harry grinned as he turned off the car.

“If you’re going to be a sore sport tonight then just hail a cab and go home.” Eleanor rolled her eyes, she was getting irritated because she looked forward to tonight but Louis couldn’t stop complaining.

Louis immediately knew from her tone that he needed to shut up before he pissed her off again, “No, I’m sorry love, I want to be here!”

I stifled a giggle as I climbed out of Harry’s SUV.

Harry grabbed the two blankets he brought, handed one to Louis, as I laced his hand in mine. We found a nice spot on the grass which had a good view of the screen and as Eleanor and I set up the blankets, the boys went to buy drinks and snacks.

“Have I ever told you how cute you and Harry look together?” Eleanor grinned as she sat down next to me.

“Nope.” I crinkled my nose and shook my head.

“Well you two do look adorable, and the way he looks at you… so full of love…” She began.

“That’s how Louis looks at you.” I pointed out.

“Yeah?” Her eyes lit up.

“Of course! Come on Eleanor! I tell you all the time that Louis’ completely head over heels for you!” I nudged her shoulder with mine.

“I know he is! He actually… told me that he was ready for the next step,” Eleanor mumbled.

“What?!” I turned my body towards her with my jaw dropped, “He is?!”

“Shhhh!” She brought her finger up to her lips but couldn’t hide her smile.

“But I don’t know if he meant marriage though!”

“What else could it mean?” I chuckled, “You guys live together, have a dog together, pay bills together… didn’t he also co-sign on your car? What else could he possibly mean?” 

“I don’t know! I just don’t want to assume anything when it comes to Louis, you never know what the hell goes through his mind!” She shook her head.

“That’s true-,” I was going to say something else, but we saw the boys approaching us and changed the subject.

After the movie we decided to grab a late-night dinner at one of Louis’ favorite burger joints.

“So are you two going to Zayn’s art show tomorrow?” Louis asked as we ate.

“Yeah,” I took a sip of my beer, “I’m going there first, Harry’s going to come after he gets off work.”

Harry just nodded in agreement since he had food in his mouth.

“Yay! Can we go together Y/N? Niall and Louis are going to come straight from their meeting and I don’t want to show up alone.” Eleanor batted her eyelashes at me.

“Of course! You’re going to be the prettiest date there and that I’ve ever had.” I winked at her and she jokingly blushed.

“Heyyyyy!” Harry furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at me.

“What?” I took another bite of my burger.

“What about me? Am I not pretty?” Harry pouted.

“Do you want to be called pretty, Harold?” Louis laughed.

“Well… I…” Harry didn’t know how to respond.

“Face it Styles, you have nothing on me.” Eleanor stuck her tongue out and flipped her hair.

“I agree with her on this one Styles,” Louis grinned as he rubbed one of Eleanor’s forearms with his free hand.

I kept trying not to laugh at Harry’s pouty face but failed as I wiped my mouth.

“Well fine! I’ll find someone that thinks I’m pretty to take me tomorrow night.” He jokingly huffed.

“You do that and see what happens.” I raised an eyebrow.

“Oh! Do it! I want to see what happens!” Louis taunted us and Eleanor nodded with a big smile on her face.

I shot Harry a playful glare before I leaned over the table and placed a kiss on his lips.

“Ew! Stop!” Louis groaned.

When we finished the movie, we joined Andy, Niall, and Katherine at a nearby bar around 11pm and caught each other up with what’s been going on in each other’s lives all week, on top of stalking Liam’s and Sophia’s Facebook photos that they posted of their honeymoon.

- - - - - 

Saturday Morning (Day of Zayn’s Art Show/ Present Day)

Harry’s POV

Damn it.

I bent over to pick up the cookie pan I dropped, thank goodness there wasn’t anything in there.

“Harry! What’s going on with you today my dear?” Claudia asked.

“I’m just a bit anxious is all.” I mumbled as I placed the dirty pan into the sink.

“Anxious about what?” Claudia dried her hands and leaned on the counter next to me.

I exhaled loudly and motioned for Claudia to follow me into my office, not wanting the whole staff to hear what was bothering me.

Claudia and I took the seat next to me and waited patiently for me to talk.

“I’m just anxious because tonight Y/N and I are going to her ex-boyfriend’s art show… he’s a new rising artist. I saw an article of him in the New York Times this morning about how his pieces are suppose to be beautiful… and I don’t know… I’m just over thinking a lot of things.” I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger and leaned back against the chair.

Claudia’s face softened, “Harry… what are you worried about? That she will go back to him?”

“Yes.” I finally admitted.

“Harry… but she chose you, did she not?”

I sighed again, “What if tonight she realizes it was a mistake? What if she sees how well his art work is doing and-”

“Is that the type of woman you think she is?” Claudia cocked her head to the side.

“No but-”

“Ah no buts,” Claudia held up a hand, “Imagine if she heard you thinking these things about her, as if you don’t trust her love for you.”

“I know… it’s why I’ve been a mess all morning, I feel like a terrible boyfriend for thinking that she would go back to him and my head is just spinning with crazy thoughts because I’m going to be half an hour late to the show tonight because we have that order.” I pulled the hair tie out of my messy bun and fixed it to make it look more neat.

“I understand where you’re coming from because I don’t want you getting hurt dear, but you are just going to make things worst if you worry about things that aren’t worth stressing over. She was with him and then even after 10 years she was still in love with you, I’m sure she loves you just as much as you love her… so please don’t worry so much.”

“I know, I know, you’re right Claudia. Thank you for talking to me. I’ve been keeping it to myself all day.” I cleared my throat.

“Yeah just take a few minutes alone and clear you head! Go for a walk or something! We have a lunch rush coming soon and we have to finish that cake before you leave,” Claudia stood up and straightened her pants before she put her hand on my shoulder and slightly shook it, “You’re an amazing person Harry, I’m sure her ex-boyfriend is good guy, but she chose you for a reason, believe in that reason.”

I grabbed my phone, wallet and pulled off my hairnet as I exited the kitchen and told Candice that I would be back in an hour.

I hailed a cab and gave him the address to Niall’s office as I clicked on his name in my phone.

Niall’s POV

“Did Harry tell you that we are going to Y/N’s ex-boyfriend art exhibit tonight?” I held my phone in between my cheek and shoulder as I shuffled through the dozens of files on my desk while trying to talk to Gemma.

“What? Come again? Y/N’s ex-boyfriend?” I heard Gemma’s shocked tone of voice on the other end.

“Yeah, his name is Zayn, he’s a really cool guy. I actually met him the same night Harry told me about him and Y/N… that was a strange night come to think of it.” I raised an eyebrow as I remembered catching Harry and Y/N making out.

“Why are you going to his art show?”  She asked.

“Well he invited all of us, sort of. He invited Y/N and Louis and told them to bring whoever they want. Actually, here, I’ll show article that The New York Times did on him.”

I quickly texted Gemma the article and continued searching for the documents I needed for work.

“New York Time? Whoa, he must be good.” I heard her say as I found the file I was looking for.

“Yeah, that’s what it seems like. I might buy a piece tonight, my home office is a bit dull, yeah?”

“It wasn’t dull the other week when you were fucking me on your desk.” She nonchalantly replied.

Her words took me by surprise and I almost dropped my phone.

“What?” I swallowed.

“You heard me lover boy,” She chuckled.

“You can’t say something like that when you’re not here, that’s not fair.” I cleared my throat as I sat up in my chair.

I heard Gemma giggle, “You weren’t complaining when we had phone sex yesterday.”

“Gemma, I’m going to hang up, I swear this is pure torture.” I groaned as I adjusted my pants.

“You wouldn’t dare hang up on me.” Gemma said oh-so-matter-of-factly but then I heard my phone beeped and saw Harry’s name flash across my screen.

“I would if your brother was calling. Gotta go, love you, bye!” I smiled as I ended our call and answered Harry.

“Harry! What can I do for you?” I cleared my throat.

“I’m heading over to your office, want to have lunch?” He asked, his voice sounding a bit off.

I looked up at the clock on my wall to see that it was almost noon, “Yeah I’ll order something for us and have it sent up to my office. I have to go through some contracts so I can’t leave the building yet.”

“Alright, that sounds good, see you soon.”

I texted Louis to ask him if he wanted me to order him anything and he quickly replied saying he was starving and to order him anything.

I called a nearby restaurant that I frequently ordered from, gave them my order, and continued reading the contract.

I heard a knock on the door ten minutes later to see Louis strolling in with his hands in his pants so I stood up to greet him like I always do.

“Whoa Niall, I know that wasn’t because of me or maybe it was, are you that excited to see me or did you get a new secretary?” Louis gestured at my pants and I felt my face flush red and quickly sat down to smooth out my pants.

“Fuck off, you twat,” I groaned.

“Hey! No need to get hostile! Geez just go call your girlfriend or something!” Louis chuckled.

“She’s the reason for my predicament.” I shook my head as I crossed my legs under the desk.

I saw a smirk form on Louis’ face, “Oh really? Did she send nudes?”

“Louis, shut up. Harry’s about to be here. Just drop it.” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You really need to get laid.” Louis clucked his tongue as he sat down on the couch that was in my office.

Yes, yes I do.

- - - - -

Saturday Evening (Present Day)

Your POV

I stepped back and smiled at myself in the mirror. I was very pleased with my hair, outfit and make up for tonight.

A knock on my front door pulled my attention away from my reflection and I hurried, knowing it was Eleanor.

“Y/N! You look gorgeous!” She squealed as I opened up the door.

“You look amazing!!!” I beamed as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my apartment.

“Who are you trying to seduce? Harry or the artist?” She teased.

“El!” I gasped and then frowned.

“I”m just saying! You have two guys that are head over heels in love with you…”  She clucked her tongue and then shot a devilish grin at me.

“El-” I started.

“I’m only kidding! But you do look pretty damn gorgeous, I don’t know if anyone is going to be looking at Zayn’s artwork cause they’ll be too busy checking you out.” She winked.

“Okay, please stop.” I laughed as I pulled her into my bedroom.

Eleanor and I did some last minute touch ups before we went down stairs to get in our Uber.

New York City on a Saturday night is always the same, busy and full of traffic. The ride to the art show made me feel a little anxious. I was constantly checking my phone to see if Harry would text me even though I know he was working.

I wasn’t sure what to expect tonight with Harry and Zayn being in the same building, but I really hope that it goes smoothly. Just as we arrived to the exhibit I got a buzz on my phone.

Hey love, I just finished up at the bakery and will be heading over soon. I’ll see you in a bit! - H

I quickly responded to Harry and placed my phone inside my clutch.

We all thanked the Uber driver as he dropped us off and made our way slowly inside. I was the last person to enter since the strap of my heel needed adjustment.

From the outside looking in, I could see a lot of people in the exhibit. I was so proud of Zayn for following his dreams and never giving up on himself. I stepped into the double doors of the building and walked to the exhibit entrance, a lot of the people began to look at me and whisper. I didn’t recognize a lot of them but they appeared to recognize me.

I thought perhaps I was being paranoid but I saw a group of people around a beautiful hand crafted sculpture by Zayn of just a naked body that seemed vaguely familiar, and people silenced as I walked by.

I tried to look around for my friends but then my eyes caught a glimpse of the wall of Zayn’s artwork and I froze: they were all of... me. All of...me. Zayn’s entire exhibit was pieces of art that all pertained to me.

I couldn’t move. I didn’t know what to do. All of a sudden people started clapping and I heard Zayn’s voice from behind me that pulled me out of my trance.

“Y/N, thanks for coming, it means the world to me that you could make it,” Zayn beaned at me as he held out his arms.

“Zayn... I... it’s all me...” I was flustered and couldn’t find the right words. Everyone was watching me and I didn’t want to ruin Zayn’s night so I just hugged him, still in complete disbelief. A woman in dark maroon pant suite standing next to Zayn nodded to acknowledge me and I could see her now understand who his artwork was about.

His work was breathtaking, not in the way that it was me, but his art style. I was speechless.

Elenor came up to me and pulled me to the side realizing that I was in a shock and needed her rescue.

“Y/N!” She whispered when she pulled me into a corner away from others, “first off, wow you’re absolutely gorgeous, and two, what the fuck?!”

“I really had zero idea that Zayn had this much art work of me! I knew he sketched me here and there when we were together but paintings? Sculptures? Photos? Everything... I’m so overwhelmed right now.” I could feel my anxiety building, my heart racing and my head beginning to pound.

“Y/N, I love you but you need to make sure that Harry does not see this because he will probably lose it.”

OH SHIT. HARRY!

I tried to open my clutch but of course I was having a hard time opening it. I was fumbling and finally just gave it to Eleanor because I was a wreck.

I unlocked my phone and called Harry but he didn’t pick up.

Moments later, Zayn stood up on a podium, and began to make a small speech. He thanked everyone for coming and talked about how he came from a family with a lot of love but little money, and wanted nothing more than to be an artist and he’s finally able to make that dream come true and he wanted to thank me, Y/N, for always being supportive and encouraging him to chase his dreams. “I wouldn’t be the man or the artist I am today without her and I’m so glad to have her in my life. She has been there for me through so much of my life. She is my friend, my muse.”

The entire audience clapped and cheered Zayn congratulating him.

The woman that I recognized from earlier walked next to him and asked for the microphone after whispering in his ear. Zayn’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Good evening ladies and gentleman, my name is Isabella Russo. I am the proud owner of Luhring Augustine and would love to thank you all for coming to support our new up and coming artist, Zayn. It has just come to my attention that every piece Zayn has graced us tonight has been purchased. Congratulations Zayn, you have won a permanent wall here at my art gallery.”

Sound began to fade as my eyes went wide. I could see everyone cheering and clapping but it was all white noise to me at this point. I felt someone grab my hand and pull me away. Thinking it was Eleanor but I finally looked up and saw it was Harry and my heart dropped. Oh no.

Harry pulled me out of the exhibit and outside into the front of the building, not realizing that I was having a semi-anxiety attack, Harry began to shout.

“How dare he just put you on display like that? Did you know? Of course you couldn’t have because you would have TOLD me! Did he even ask you for permission? Did you sign a contract or waiver? Who does he think he is? How fucking dare he just put a sculpture of your naked body for the fucking world to see?” Harry was pacing, he was angry and shouting.

“Y/N! Can you say something? What the fuck!” Harry roared.

I tried to blink back tears, “Harry I really had no idea, he never told me... I... didn’t know.” I felt my head began to pound, oh god not these damn migraines again.

Niall came out of the building and he could feel that there was a lot of tension between us. He smiled at me and walked up to Harry. “Mate, it’s handled. It’s also not Y/N’s fault and you know it.”

Louis and Eleanor quickly joined us outside, Eleanor coming to my side to make sure I was okay. While Louis handed Harry a drink.

“Breathe Y/N. Just breathe. Can I place my hands on you?” Eleanor asked, when I nodded she put her hands on my arms and rubbed them up and down to comfort me. Eleanor just knew me and tell I was having a semi-anxiety attack and god I love her so much because of it.

After I was finally able to compose myself and was able to process the events of tonight and speak. I walked up to my boyfriend, who was boiling with rage.

“Harry, you have no right to be angry with me. I didn’t know about any of this. You cannot be angry at me for something I cannot control.” I stood ground, “Zayn’s art is his art. I’m not going to stop him from doing what he loves.”

“Obviously you couldn’t control or handle it! Art? He put you on display like... like...THAT. I am not going to just let him do that to you.” He rudely stated. I saw something in Harry’s eyes. I had never seen this side of Harry, ever. He was always so kind, so generous... but this was... what?

“Mate, back off. She didn’t do anything wrong.” Louis stepped in between us.

“What do you mean like THAT?” I asked. Eleanor close behind me.

“Like you’re his girlfriend and like some OBJECT to be desired!” Harry shouted. And I just dropped my jaw in disbelief.

Then all of a sudden we heard Zayn’s voice break the silence, “She is not an object, she is much more than that to me. You have no right to be speaking to her that way. She didn’t know about this part of my work. It was my fault and mine alone. If you want to be angry at anyone then be angry at me.”

“How dare you just put her on display like that? Have you no respect for Y/N?” Harry growled at Zayn.

Louis and Niall had to step in between both of them.

“She has my most respect. She is my muse. I’m sorry that you don’t understand what it’s like to be an artist but I’m not going to apologize for my art work.” Zayn stated. He turned to me and thanked me for coming and apologize for not telling me in advance because he wanted it to be a surprise. My head began to pound even harder and my ears began to ring. This wasn’t the normal migraines anymore.

All of a sudden I see Harry trying to lunge himself at Zayn, while Niall and Louis hold him back and force him to calm down. Harry was trying to push his way through them to get to Zayn. But I moved between Zayn and Harry trying to make sure that no one was getting hurt tonight.

“Y/N get out of my way!” Harry bellowed.

“No.” I breathed trying to stay steady, “Harry, please calm down-” my was starting to blur and then all of a sudden...darkness.

The last thing I remember was seeing the rage in Harry’s eyes and then it was black.

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<3 M

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