#i struggle with connecting these feelings to actions and habits. but it’s getting easier

[topaz-witch-tea]

hiii, it's me again, thanks for spoiling us with your HC & AU as always 💖 💗

Anyway, I was curious, do you have any HC of what if Happy Family!AU meets with semi-cannon verse of RenJingHeng (that's still trying to bond with Yanqing despite their ✨Issues✨)?

I imagine it would be double the chaos since now they have TWO reckless, self-sacrificial, and insecure teen to watch over. That, and I want the HCQ to react to a what-if versions of themselves lolz. This could either go very well, or they just straight up start criticizing e/o method of parenting, and I can't make up my mind of which is better.

Hello!!! You're welcome, I enjoy writing these headcanons. 🥰

I do have HCs for this!!! I constantly compare the semi-cannon with the AU so I can differentiate their personalities and parenting styles.

I'll group them by character to make it easier.

Dan Feng- Dan Heng

They do not get along and Dan Feng started it. Dan Feng is very protective and doting to Yanqing.

He worries for Yanqing's wellbeing constantly and in his eyes, Dan Heng is neglectful and both Yanqing's should come home with him. Dan Heng's aloofness and his difficulties in connecting make Yanqing feel unsure of where he fits in RenJingHeng's new relationship.

To Dan Heng, Dan Feng's displays of affection contrast with his responsibility to the Vidyadhara, which leads Yanqing to make himself small so he doesn't stress out his father.

"How can you be okay with him going off like that? Getting possessed, sneaking off? He's practically skin and bones! Not to mention, you almost killed him. What kind of father are you?"

"You're one to talk to. Your son is so worried about disappointing you that he puts himself in harm's way constantly to prove himself!"

"Your's does the same!"

This ends with both of them crying and being very upset. Dan Feng has always struggled with emotions and can only communicate through words and acts of affection. Dan Heng is unsure how to communicate and care for Yanqing since he was never allowed to be a child and has no idea how to fit himself into the family dynamics.

Yingxing- Ren

They also do not get along and Ren is responsible for it.

Yingxing is very affectionate to Yanqing despite his strictness. Ren is not affectionate at all and approaches the relationship with a bit of teasing but also a constant state of "you are a child but are nothing like Silver Wolf, so I don't know how to communicate with you."

Yingxing sort of pities Ren since he sees Ren's marastruck fate as what could have happened to him if the Blessings of the Arbor went awry.

But this does not stop either of them from disliking each other. Unlike Dan Heng and Dan Feng, they do not engage with each other at all and instead actively ignore each other.

To Yingxing, Ren is confused and doesn't know how to interact with other people. However, his confusion creates more confusion for Yanqing, who believes that he is being pushed out of the family because of Canon! Jing Yuan is spending more time to incorporate Ren into his life.

To Ren though, Yingxing is a hypocrite. While Ren doesn't know how to interact with Yanqing, Yingxing is the same with his child. He doesn't understand why his child is sacrificial and reckless as if they weren't the traits he saw valued by his parents- their sacrificial and reckless actions in service to the Luofu.

AU! Jing Yuan - Canon! Jing Yuan

They get along pretty well since they are both very mellow people and their nature allows them to understand the other. Their time is spent comparing their respective sons. Hobbies? Favorite foods? Even habits as babies?

Some are similar like sword collecting but others are very different like AU! Yanqing prefers Vidyadhara seafood cuisine and spicy food over Canon! Yanqing prefers savory food from the Luofu and sweet treats like pudding and boba.

They also talk about their worries for their son. About how AU! Yanqing keeps throwing himself in danger to save his comrades even though his death would break his family's heart or how Canon! Yanqing keeps searching for stronger and stronger opponents in a relentless need to improve.

Jingliu

They don't talk at all. I don't see either of them seeing any merit in talking with each other. Instead, they communicate with their blades. To them, crossing blades with an opponent tells them what they need to know. The fight takes 30 minutes and by the end of it, both parties take their leave and stay silent for the rest of the day. If you asked the others, they could not tell you a single thing said during the fight. However, to the sword masters, they knew all they needed to know.

Baiheng

Well, she sort of dead in the canon so there isn't anything she can react to. She is, however, very sad that she passed and left Jing Yuan alone. even if her death was for a good cause.

AU! Yanqing- Canon! Yanqing

They talk about swords. That is honestly it. Their parents are fighting each other so they thought it would be best to avoid additional confrontation. They have also repressed a lot of their childhood insecurities so both of them are not exactly aware of the fact their behaviors are not the healthiest.

AU! Yanqing throws himself in the line of fire because he's seen his parents do it. He wants to protect the Luofu because his fathers spent so much time governing it and ensuring its peace and prosperity. But also, deep down, he wants to show that he is worthy of being their son.

Canon! Yanqing masters the sword not for glory, but to ease the general's burden. They do not call each other father and son even though both parties see each other that way. However, since things are never said, Yanqing believes Jing Yuan sees him as merely an apprentice rather than family. So now that Jing Yuan is bringing Dan Heng and Ren into his life, Yanqing is waiting for when he'll be served the eviction notice.

This was a really fun ask and I hope you enjoyed it!!! Please feel free to send more!

#yanqing #honkai star rail #jing yuan #yanqing’s happy family au #yingxing #dan feng #yanqing's happy family au asks #hsr #jingrenheng #baiheng #jingliu #hsr ren #blade hsr #dan heng #honkai dan heng #jing yuan x blade x dan heng #renjingheng #I did not mean for this to be angst #It was an accident #Poor Yanqing #It doesn't matter in which life he lives #his desire to help his dad will always put him in harms way

[banterismylovelanguage]

I’ve been in a Rosaria mood lately so let’s talk about the best squad in Diluc’s tavern and their habits of showing care for each other

Aka an excuse to have the feels about the tavern squad

What type of carer are they?

ROSARIA definitely has tired big sis energy in that she’s not going to look after the troublemakers (Kaeya & Venti) in an overprotective way but in that she’ll join them in the danger as her way of not missing out on the “fun.”

Occasionally, she might pull Venti back from a precarious ledge

Or she’ll take out someone sneaking up behind Kaeya (super rare, btw, that dude probably trained himself to hear the slightest creak in a floorboard after that sudden and forced parting from his family)

But she’ll also be the one to say, “I don’t know him,” when faced with Venti or Kaeya’s kidnappers’ demands.

DILUC is actually the mom of the group. The rough mom. The mom that grunts when Venti or Kaeya try to show off with some kind of trick but secretly holds on to some kind of souvenir from those happier days (100% canon, btw.)

VENTI wholeheartedly says that he cares but plays off his actions as a coincidence, convenient, or accidental when it comes to helping out a member of the squad. Or he’ll play it up when he wants someone to doubt his chivalrous actions. He’s a subtle kind of carer, but he’s also openly affectionate and unabashedly compliments—to the point of embarrassing characters like Diluc or Rosaria.

KAEYA is a fun mix of pretending and truth. He’ll play off his noble actions but sprinkle in the truth from time to time because he can get away with people not believing him. He’s both a charmer and someone that likes to get on the nerves of people he cares about, but he’s also deeply, deeply touched by genuine acknowledgments of love towards himself—he just wants to pretend he doesn’t need it. Selfless in a way to pretend he isn’t selfless because he thinks it’s actually selfish—it’s not. It never was.

Diluc sees through Kaeya most of the time, but there are times he lets himself believe Kaeya’s lie because it’s easier to think Kaeya doesn’t care when he really, truly does.

How do they feel about their Squad Dynamic

Despite Rosaria probably being the least connected to this squad of four, Kaeya is likely the one that feels the most out of place among them, mostly because of his own doubts of where and who he belongs with.

Rosaria is a close second, but I think there’s a sense of confidence in choosing her place with these people that Kaeya still struggles with.

Diluc doesn’t know how he got all these “annoying” (dear) friends, but he (begrudgingly) lets them hang around with him (and would totally check up on them if any one of them was missing for a few days).

Venti craves companionship, and I think he likes to pretend that when he’s in his bard outfit and hanging amongst these other three, he’s simply a bard in a tavern with his friends.

It’s probably why he drinks to put himself in happier times—present and yet not, clear and yet blurred, he sees old friends in new.

#my fingers have been itching to talk about them again and here we are #venti #rosaria #diluc ragnvindr #why is master Diluc a tag #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #genshin headcanons #kaeya and diluc #diluc #kaeya

[amethystina]

I've been making many comparisons between Hannibal (Series) and TDJ, so I need to know if you have ever watched Hannibal and if you also saw any similarity between the two or if I'm just going crazy 😞

I have watched it, yes! I binged it in a matter of days (several years ago now) and, BOY, was I loopy afterwards. I had to call a friend and legit go: "I have to talk to someone about something that isn't Hannibal because I feel like I am losing my mind a little."

(Which sounds corny but, uh, I have a tendency to sink really deep into the feelings and mindset of the characters I watch — not unlike Will Graham, hilariously enough (which is also why I'm so good at writing them, I guess?) — and that makes any show a bit of a journey but Hannibal even more so. It was NOT good for my mental stability x'D)

Anyway! Yes, I can see it, at least to some degree. There are definitely a couple of similarities but, in my opinion, honestly more differences, at least when you start looking at it a little deeper. For me personally, it's easier to compare Hannibal to a drama like Strangers From Hell than The Devil Judge.

Like, say what you will about Kang Yo Han and his habit of manipulation, gaslighting, and lying (which I do, very frequently) but it wasn't anywhere near Hannibal or Moon Jo levels of viciousness and depravity. Though I admit that's a very low bar.

Congratulations, Yo Han — you're less despicable than two cannibalistic serial killers.

That's not to say that what Yo Han did was good (he is, by definition, a mass murderer x'D), but the framing is completely different. Hannibal does it for the heck of it — to see what makes Will tick — and also because he wants Will to join him and become his other half, a.k.a. his murder husband. Meanwhile, Yo Han is looking for a useful accomplice to help him avenge his dead brother and, if he happens to get a husband out of it, that's just a bonus.

Hannibal does it for his own amusement and enjoyment, while Yo Han has a purpose behind his actions that's actually connected to his love for someone else. And while his actions DO hurt Ga On on more than one occasion, he's by no means as flippant about Ga On's life as Hannibal is about Will's.

Adding to that, Ga On was a lot more willing to be seduced than Will Graham, probably because Yo Han is by no means as wicked as Hannibal. He's got a lot of soft sides that Hannibal just... doesn't. Which alters the tone of their story and turns it into something quite different.

So yes, on the one hand, there are some similarities in the concept of an older, dangerous yet suave man trying to tempt a younger, idealistic man into committing crimes with them, but the lengths which they go to, the methods they use, and the motivation behind it are too different for more than a surface level comparison for me.

And that difference is honestly one of the reasons why I never wrote Hannibal fanfics. I was tempted, but I soon realised that Hannibal is too rigid. He's pretty one-dimensional in the long run and while the show does make a point out of showing that Will could change him at least a little bit, it's still too little to make him fun to write for me.

But, more importantly, when it comes to ships like these (i.e. the morally grey ones) it's never the dark one that will make or break it, but the other party. For me, a pairing like that only works if the softer/weaker/brighter/whatever you want to call it person is, on some level, in on it. And sure, Will does eventually end up being Down With Murder, but he didn't start out like that. He truly was a good guy at the beginning and the only reason why he ended up a murderer was through emotional and psychological osmosis — which he struggled against every step of the way until he eventually gave up.

Compare that to Ga On who, clearly, had a lot of darkness even before Yo Han showed up and pulled it to the forefront. Like, he dove headfirst into it after a while because he'd clearly been waiting for someone to tell him it was okay to do so — he wanted to come along for the ride Yo Han invited him on.

Or Jong Woo from Strangers From Hell, who had violence and anger-management issues long before he met Moon Jo and got pulled into becoming his murder husband. Or Pete from KinnPorsche, who clearly had a dangerous and kinky side long before Vegas showed up and... uh, made him embrace it?

Sometimes, it hinges more on the other person, is what I'm trying to say. And that can totally change the tone of the story being told. Like, while I am 100% certain that Hannibal loves Will in canon (or as much as he is able while being who he is) I can't say the same for Will. He's attached, sure, but love? Not sure. But what I am sure of is that Will would be better off without Hannibal. Without a doubt. Yeet him off a cliff (pun entirely intended). There's just too much violence between them and while it is fascinating to watch, I don't really want to see them as a couple xD

Yo Han and Ga On, on the other hand? There is genuine attachment between the two of them, and a genuine desire to see the other safe and happy. And while Yo Han definitely isn't the easiest person to live with — and much too vicious and dangerous for things to be entirely healthy between them — he does give Ga On something that, arguably, very few can, by embracing Ga On for who he is WITHOUT trying to change him. Like, the very core concept of their relationship is different from Hannibal and Will's.

Basically, while Hannibal turned Will into a killer to make them more compatible — sawing off the pieces of Will that didn't fit and tacking on new ones where he pleased — Yo Han and Ga On kind of fit from the beginning, because there was already a darkness in Ga On that called out to the darkness within Yo Han. They just have to figure out which way to approach each other for everything to fall into place but, once they do, the puzzle is easy to solve.

So, in essence, they're the opposite of Hannibal and Will. Will is forced to become someone else for him and Hannibal to work, while all Yo Han wants is for Ga On to accept and embrace who he truly is. Yo Han doesn't have to change Ga On for the two of them to work, they just need to love each other, flaws and all.

(which they do, in my subjective opinion)

... that became a lot longer rant than I had planned. I'm so sorry x'D

TLDR: Yes, there are some similarities but, on the whole, they're surface level in my opinion. Their dynamics at their cores are too different.

#Amethystina Replies #Anonymous #Please don't take this as me saying that you're wrong #Like #I do agree to a certain point #I even used Hannibal as a reference when explaining The Devil Judge to my wife #Since she's seen Hannibal but not The Devil Judge #But I soon realised that the number of times I had to go #'But it's also very different' #Meant they probably weren't that similar after all #And I do like that by the way #That we can get such a variety in our characters #Hannibal and Yo Han aren't very similar at all

[ultramanyaoi]

LANGUAGE POSTING PT 1: MY PERSONAL USE OF LANGUAGE

I’ve noticed I really enjoy writing and yapping in a semi formal manner because 1) I like organising my thoughts and putting it out clearly is very helpful for me to sort them and make them more permanent actually and 2) I have a really big problem where people tend to be confused by how I talk or what I mean so I place a lot of emphasis on clarity through verbal and textual communication. Additionally being as clear and knowledgeable as possible is very important for me in terms of feeling secure because growing up I struggled significantly to understand social cues, trends and other social dynamics and I coped with that through rationalisation. Tangentially I really hate dealing with emotional volatile situations because it is extremely difficult for me to both process shifting emotions and social cues at the same time and I just cannot have the space to rationalise or behave correctly.

Also I’m not actually nitpicky about grammar and syntax but I am trying to be more aware of my run on sentences because it has been a recurring cause of confusion during communication. Also the current syntax I use for proper posts is also to make organisation easier and more immediately easy to read. I personally dislike swearing except when I’m upset or someone else does it and I am trying to like accomodate / relate to them. I don’t have an issue with people using vulgarities I just dislike it personally because I think it muddles things. Like I say shit a lot but I don’t really enjoy excessively saying fuck.

I have noticed my more formal style of speech and communication is out of personal needs (to have clear and organised speech as well as to signal to others a need for them to be as clear as possible when talking to me by inviting them to talk like me) and comfort! However, it comes off very cold to my peers and people who prefer more casual speech as it seems like I’m intentionally maintaining a certain distance from them. There is no doubt in my mind that partially I do wish to establish distance with other people and form clear work relationships but when I do this even in informal settings it becomes quite problematic. This is great for emailing and talking to older people and adults because it comes off as polite and invites them to continue speaking to me formally but it also makes me come off distanced still which is intimidating I realised.

I am most comfortable talking like this though. Even if I can and do adjust my speech or find common speech patterns with others this is my preferred way of communicating big ideas and when I need clarity. Thus when people can talk formally to me in an intimate setting I really connect with these people because I feel similar goodwill! Like erm I don’t think these people are like Cold by the way but like say Dove who organises their thoughts and responses very clearly is really easy for me to speak to even if I’m usually the person with misleading language. Similarly Clari speaks very clearly even with informal language and comprehensively so it’s very easy to talk to her.

Anyways other communication quirks I have are like announcing my actions like going to the bathroom or getting a snack to my house even when I don’t have to because I’m an adult. I want to make things as clear as possible including my actions. It also acts as a comfortable habit for me. This is not as much of a communication quirk but it is tangentially related but because my ultraman sofubis are comforting items which I regularly bring around I ask things to my family like “can Asahi sit here?” sometimes as if they’re real.

Anyways it has just been very interesting to understand my own use of language and its impacts on my relationship to others as well as how it reflects on me. I try to adjust my language to communicate with others easier but it is definitely not easy especially with my peers and that’s why I like others will also always enjoy meeting people who communicate similarly to me. Anyways never give up :)

#ariel.txt #sorry friends who i mentioned im using pronouns listed on ur account so I will edit asap if necessary!!!

[clear-sticker]

Things I've learned on my body acceptance journey

I call it my body acceptance journey instead of my body-positive journey because, in all honesty, I've found it too difficult to truly be positive about my body.

It felt too daunting. I felt like I was deluding myself. I tried "fake it til I make it", but it felt like trying to force myself into an ideology I could never fully believe.

I have struggled with disordered eating and body dysmorphia for many years. I would be lying if I told you I was completely rid of negative self talk and toxic ideation in regards to my appearance. However, I've learned to implement important mental exercises to help stop unhelpful, damaging thoughts from taking root in my mind again.

My therapist told me,

"if it is too challenging to be body-positive, then shoot for acceptance."

That greatly shifted my perception. The barrier to entry was lowered, and I felt that was something I could buy into.

Instead of the voice in my head telling me I'm not enough — I told myself,

"This is where I am. This vessel carries me through life, and I'm grateful for that. It's been with me my whole life through good and bad. It's a body that deserves to be respected."

This is a mindset that could not have been achieved without action. To get here I had to show my body the kindness and respect it deserves by continuously working on it. Just like any other relationship, if you neglect it and refuse to put in any effort to constantly grow a deeper connection, the relationship will deteriorate. That is why it was imperative that:

I stopped depriving my body of fuel. I stopped letting my mobility decrease and my muscles to atrophy. I took time to practice self care daily.

This helped me to stop feeling sorry for the things I saw in others that I didn't or couldn't have. Instead, I focused on the things I could improve — milestones I could achieve.

I could go to the gym and push myself to get stronger with each session. I could improve my flexibility and mobility each day. I could dedicate time and energy to take better care of myself through self care. I could enrich my mind through reading and learning new things.

Building myself up to that point took a long time. It took extremely difficult therapy sessions. It took a ton of introspection and mindfulness. It took seeing each day as an opportunity to be the person I always wanted to be. That takes discipline, and discipline is a muscle that needs to be trained each day through the development and implementation of positive habits.

In the beginning it was especially hard because I didn't have respect for myself. However, just like any exercise, the more you do it the easier it gets. Each daily habit I tacked on, the more proud I was of who I was becoming.

There are times when I long for the sense of power restricting gave me. I sometimes miss the high it gave me. It was intoxicating to fantasize about becoming the girls in my thinspo folder. It was addictive to hate myself. It was easier that way. But building the mental fortitude to be better through respecting myself is far more gratifying than seeing a number on a scale drop.

Things do getter better.

tl;dr:

I couldn't fully accept and have pride in myself until I started focusing on the things I have control over.

The more you do hard things like steeling your mind to negative ideation and putting in the effort to improve your body the easier it gets.

You don't have to be perfect every day. You just have to do your best to show up as the person you believe you deserve to be.

#baby blue #light blue #light blue moodboard #light blue girl #blue moodboard #it girl #girl blogger #that girl #self improvement #recovery #tw disordered eating #tw ed recovery #ed recovery #body posititivity #thinspø #ana #clean aesthetic #clean girl #minimal moodboard #guinea pig #body image #body acceptance #body positive #health and wellness #wellness #health #inspiration #fitness #nutrition #healthylifestyle

[wolfsbane-if]

To be honest, I really like not having to worry about romance paths so much. Usually, in IFs I have to hold back with affection because it would lead characters on and/or you don't want to cheat, but here you can just be cuddly and sweet without holding back and inviting desaster into your home!

That said, my MC has had a long standing childhood crush on Garamond, but considering their agreement and then the talk about Garamond being so reluctant to get intimate with strangers, worrying about exposure, they would never ever say anything, bc that feels like taking advantage of their lack of options somehow. Besides they've lived with it for this long, why change something that works as is?

The best part somehow was Harlow's diary. The fact that they started writing again AND felt comfortable sharing it with MC had me tear up a little. Sometimes for some it's easier than talking out loud and gives a little time to deliberate on how to word feelings especially. Could MC, Gary and Harlow sort of start exchange diaries to get to know the vampire and communicate more complex feelings or thoughts? It could also prove educational to compare everyone's perspectives on how fights went or something, since sometimes you don't really think of mentioning some things. Like with Harlow needing blood to recover.. is it rude to offer them the corpse? Do they get any nutrition from already dead beings? Since keeping the MCs blood levels high for emergencies might be better, but also, it's kind of nice and a show of trust to offer their own blood? There's .. not a lot said about the reasoning behind the choices so far and a huge variety of different takes on how things might come across.

I finally got around to playing the update and I enjoyed every bit of it! It kind of lowers underlying emotional stress levels for me. So thank you for writing and sharing!

Thank you so much for taking the time to send this message! I absolutely love seeing people’s thoughts on and reactions to the events of the game in such detail like this; and getting such a thorough response to the new chapter absolutely made my day.

It really means a lot to me that you’re really connecting with the writing and characters, especially in scenes like with Harlow’s journal and Garamond sharing their insecurities around intimacy. That my writing can inspire an emotional response and critical thinking is such a high honour, and I’m equally touched to know that my work can also help provide some stress relief at the same time.

I also very much appreciate hearing your perspective on the lack of concrete romance routes. Even if Wolfsbane doesn't have romance, it is absolutely not devoid of love, and I cherish being able to write love in its many forms and let people be free with their affection without it having to be tied to a romantic context. That it’s resonating with you means more than you could know ^^

As for the questions you’ve raised, I’ll do my best to provide some insight! (it got long)

Garamond’s always struggled with putting their thoughts to writing, so I’m not sure they’d do well with a journal. In Harlow’s case, sharing the diary was a way of conveying a lot of trust and history in a short time, but for recounting current events, I imagine speaking will suffice most of the time; especially since the MC and Garamond are already in the habit of discussing their hunts after the fact (assuming Garamond can speak at the time, which sadly isn’t the case in Chapter 3). I could definitely see Harlow turning to writing any time they struggled to convey their feelings verbally, though, so the journal is a very useful tool to have on hand.

And it’s true that a lot of events and feelings are left up to interpretation, simply because the MC doesn’t usually know exactly what another character is thinking or feeling in any given moment. I do my best to hint at the other characters’ thoughts through their comments, actions, and body language, but rarely do I want to say them plainly within the text. The MC is often left to do their best with their understanding of a given situation.

That being said, I don’t mind sharing more concrete information regarding a character’s perspective on the blog here, outside of the text itself.

In regards to the question of Harlow taking blood from the body after the fight, I don’t think I’d call it ‘rude’ per se, but it did make Harlow uncomfortable. Harlow very much dislikes taking human blood and only does so in emergencies -- and even then, they prefer to have consent if at all possible. They’re practical enough to understand and agree that the body is a viable source of blood, but the fact that they’re taking it without permission hues too close to typical vampire behaviour for their tastes, and burying the body afterwards is their attempt at giving back and humanising the situation afterwards. 

Granted, if the MC hasn’t given their consent, feeding from the already-dead body is definitely preferable over trying to feed from the MC by force. That the MC might give their blood freely is a massive show of trust that really would mean a lot to Harlow, but they also understand that it’s pretty impractical given the circumstances. It’s ultimately up to the reader to determine the MC’s choice and the reasoning behind it -- whether they do trust Harlow to that degree and whether it’s worth losing that much blood while they’re already run ragged -- but as always, there is no “right” answer and I try to make both options plausible. I often prefer this approach, where a reader can examine a situation and justify their choice for any number of reasons. In this case, it’s a question of practicality vs sentimentality.

As for the nutritional value, vampires get the most out of blood from a living or recently-dead being. After the body’s been sitting too long, it loses some of its efficacy and starts to taste rotten. Vampires are drawn to and subsist off of the thing they lack -- life -- so a body that’s too far removed from that will be useless to them.

And I think that’s about it! Thank you again so much for the message, I had a great time getting to discuss some of this stuff in more detail, and I’m so happy to hear you enjoyed the update!

#leftski answers #this sort of long form discussion is so cool and motivating and so much fun! thank you!! #idk what to tag it now though because there's a *lot* of info here lol #character: Garamond #character: harlow #wolfsbane worldbuilding

[ceciliatllis]

What do you think of 7 husbands of Evelyn Hugo? What do you think of Evelyn so far? 🙂

Hi there! Apologies for the delayed response and thank you for the message! :) This may be a longer reply as I actually finished reading it the other day so hope that isn't too bothersome aha. While I felt the story stalled at times and I was not super invested at the start, I became very engrossed in the second half and was intrigued to know how the lives of these characters unraveled. With Evelyn, I admittedly had a difficult time relating to her personally and really struggled to enjoy her as a character due to her calculating and self-serving qualities. Her repeatedly describing the allure she had over people around her and mentioning movie stars being the "chosen ones" because they were extraordinary and special compared to others became excessive. While I completely understand that she is a hardened, flawed woman who sadly learned early on she must take advantage of others in order to achieve what she wants to get ahead and does not make apologies for who she is as a person, people inevitably have an easier time appreciating characters who resonate with them on a personal level and I did not find myself experiencing that when it came to who she was as a person/her nature. With that said, I felt the story definitely picked up when Celia was introduced (which makes sense as she's the other half of the prominent romance of the book) and her relationship with Evelyn finally showed a different side to her that was human, tender, and more vulnerable.

While reading about Evelyn and Celia, I think it was made clear that Evelyn behaved in selfish and inconsiderate ways as a partner and didn't think about how her actions would affect someone she cared about. Not telling Celia about the full extent of her plans with Mick Riva, sleeping with Harry so that her personal dream of having a child could be fulfilled when there were other options (this really didn't make sense to me), once again omitting something from her when she didn't let her know about the on-screen love scene between her and Don before it was filmed; these were all choices that she knew would make Celia feel insecure and not acknowledging how they affected her fractured their relationship. Celia definitely had her fair share of flaws too of course; she dismissed Evelyn's sexuality and couldn't come to terms with it and also made some pretty demeaning comments about her when she was angry. I do have some issues with this author's style in that I wish she developed her characters and relationships better initially and provided them with more depth rather than TELLING the reader how they're supposed to feel about them - a clear example that comes to mind is Evelyn stating she and Harry were "best friends" very early on in the book despite not showing the reader any intimate exchanges between them that demonstrated how they became closer. With that said, I do appreciate how she shows that connections with people (specifically romantic ones) can oftentimes be tumultuous and deeply imperfect while still being fueled by a genuine bond between two people who are fundamentally incompatible as it's true to life. It highlights that people don't always make the right decisions and can be driven by pride and how that can hinder them from finding long-term happiness.

I was not a fan of the melodramatic plot-twist at the end related to Monique's father and I think the book would have felt more believable without it. I've noticed this author has a habit of making events in her books feel contrived and unnatural and I thought it was a soapy addition to an otherwise moving ending. I think the author wanted this reveal to be poignant but I found it completely unneeded (especially since there's a series of tragic deaths near the end and that reveal really removed me from the impact of those events since it feels jarring and out of place). The book has a perfect format for a miniseries which is why I'm confounded by it being turned into a Netflix movie. This is a narrative that needs to properly span years with characters who believably age as it continues so that it has an emotional impact and I don't think a film will have enough time to cover everything that the reader experiences. Overall, I do think it was a worthwhile book and it strongly emphasizes that the most valuable part of life is being authentic and finding connections with others.

#the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #evelyn hugo #celia st. james #taylor jenkins reid #re: ask #re: lit #re: thoughts #re: the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #this was way longer than anticipated so apologies if it's alot ahaha #many thoughts about this book clearly

[projectbeablogger]

Unlearning Habits: Self Sabotaging

Have you ever found yourself saying or doing something that you later regretted? It could have been something negative, like backstabbing a friend, or failing to appreciate the good things in your life. Or it could have been something positive, like helping someone even when you didn't have to. This behavior is called self-sabotage - when we do something that ultimately harms us in some way. 

Do you ever sabotage yourself? 

At some point in life, we've all wondered why we do the things we do, especially when they don't seem to be helping us. I'll try to answer this question, but first we need to define self-sabotage. 

What is self-sabotage? 

According to Sharma (2023), self-sabotage is when we harm ourselves physically, mentally, or emotionally, or deliberately hold ourselves back from achieving success or personal goals and values. It's a term that describes the unconscious act of doing things that erode our confidence and reduce our chances of success. Self-sabotage involves self-defeating behaviors that bring about negative consequences. It's something that we do when we ignore our best interests. The question is - why do we do it? 

Reasons why we self-sabotage: 

People who self-sabotage are often afraid of losing something or driven by fear. They may have had many failures in the past and are scared that they will fail again. They may struggle to get started because they don't know where to begin. 

Self-sabotagers don't believe they deserve success, thinking that it's out of their reach, so they settle for mediocrity rather than risking failure. 

Some people self-sabotage because they've been hurt or disappointed by others in the past. They may have been told that they have no reason to succeed, so giving up is easier than trying again. 

Self-sabotagers often need more support from others than they are getting, so they pull away and become more isolated from the world around them. 

My Story of Self-Sabotage: 

Speaking from experience, I used to be a self-sabotager. I lacked confidence in myself and would give up on things that could have offered me great opportunities in life. Low self-esteem and fear of failure were the main reasons why I acted this way. This resulted in me being unmotivated to improve myself and take on new challenges. But that was then, and now I strive to be more motivated in my actions, whether they turn out to be good or bad, because at least I tried and I know that failure shapes us into better people.

In addition to my story, there exist various habits or actions that are unconsciously carried out, which can be classified as a form of self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage might look like:

Passing up an opportunity because you don’t feel qualified enough

Ignoring your intuition

Allowing perfectionism to hold you back from achieving your goals

Downplaying your needs

Numbing your emotions using addictions

Avoiding good relationships because of anxiety

People-pleasing

When you're self-sabotaging, it's easy to focus on the negative parts of a situation or person and make yourself feel like a failure or even worthless. This can cause us to lose steam when we're trying to change our habits, because it makes us feel like we're not capable of doing what we need to do. However, it’s essential that we start to recognize, unlearn, and change self sabotaging habits.

For You: An Anti-Self-Sabotage Plan

Make a list of the best things that come out of your life

Start accepting compliments

Set a goal to do something positive every day

Start allowing safe people to get close

Take care of your body by eating well and exercising regularly

Start encouraging yourself

Stay connected with people who care about you

Start prioritizing your own needs

Live in the present

Sometimes, we can't control the things that happen to us, but we can control how we react to them. You're probably going to feel like you don't have a choice in whether or not you're sabotaging yourself. But the truth is… you do! You can always choose to stop doing the things that hurt yourself, and start doing the things that help instead. That's what I've been doing lately—and it's made all the difference in my life. So if you're feeling like you need some advice on how to stop self-sabotaging, here's my favorite tip: be kinder to yourself.

References

Sharma, C. B. (2023, February 20). Self Sabotage – The Art of Destroying Yourself - The Daily Guardian. The Daily Guardian. Retrieved April 28, 2023, from https://thedailyguardian.com/self-sabotage-the-art-of-destroying-yourself/#:~:text=Self%2Dsabotage%20occurs%20when%20we,the%20consequences%20can%20be%20caustic.

#blog post #mental health #mentalheathawareness #writblr #tumblr blog #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writing #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #self sabotage

[lifeandpersonalitycoach]

7 biggest benefits of having a business coach &list of 10 advantages of life coaching

7 biggest benefits of having a

business coach

1. CLARITY FROM YOUR BUSINESS COACH

Often the business owner isn’t sure of his or her future vision, goals, values and principles. A business coach can probe into each of these areas and help bring tremendous clarity and long-term thinking into the business owner’s perspective. By deciding a vision and long-term goal, a coach can make it easier to create short-term goals which assist in achieving the long-term goal. By clarifying values and principles, a business coach can help you do business ethically and with a clear conscience, as well as build a culture in which others operate with similar values and principles.

2. IDENTIFYING YOUR HIDDEN POTENTIAL

A coach can also help you identify your hidden strengths and powers. Often, we underestimate our own capabilities, whereas a coach will look for the best in you and identify your unique strengths and capabilities. By doing so, the coach also helps you build self-esteem and an “I Can, I Will” attitude with which you can face any challenges that come your way with courage and conviction.

3. ELIMINATING LIMITING BELIEFS & HABITS

In case you have certain bad habits, weaknesses, or self-limiting beliefs, a coach can bring those out in the open so that they can be discarded. Without first seeing these limiting beliefs or habits, it’s impossible to overcome them. Therefore, the coach can often give the bitter medicine of a reality-check to you, which in the long-term can help you become the kind of person you want to be

.

4. A BUSINESS COACH WILL GIVE HONEST FEEDBACK

Generally, business leaders do not get negative feedback, because their subordinates may be afraid of countering their views. However, a coach can be an experienced mirror for you, helping you see your plans and actions in the right perspective and giving honest (even if sometimes brutal) feedback.

5. SETTING PRODUCTIVITY SYSTEMS

Productivity is another thing people struggle with. Setting up systems so that you can perform at your peak level day in and day out is another of a business coach’s responsibilities. A good coach will see your patterns of behaviour and guide you toward creating daily productivity systems to perform effectively and become a balanced and powerful leader.

Another aspect of productivity is balancing the long-term aspects of running a business with the short-term aspects. For example, often process documentation, framing an HR policy, designing a training module, etc are long term priorities which get procrastinated by top leadership in various companies. The short-term fire-fighting approach of dealing with urgent situations takes precedence. A coach’s responsibility is to ensure that a balance is maintained between those things which are urgent and important in the short term and those which will give fruits in the long term for the business.

6. EXPERIENCE WITH DIFFERENT BUSINESS PROBLEMS

Since a business coach may have worked with several other business owners, and seen many industries, he or she has a unique perspective on business problems. Often times we feel that we’re the first person to face a certain type of challenge, but on deeper searching, we find that it is a common problem that most businesses run into. A coach can see this and use the knowledge gained from various other experiences to find the best course of action for you when you face challenges.

7. BUSINESS COACH EXTENDS YOUR NETWORK

Usually, a business coach will be well connected with other industry leaders and business owners and can easily introduce you to relevant people. Sometimes, this could mean introducing you to a new potential client, or it could mean introducing you to a channel partner or supplier, etc. Or it may even mean introducing you to a group of like-minded individuals who can share their business journey together and support each other.

list of 10 advantages of

life coaching

  1.

Coaching encourages the coa-chee to set clear goals

Goal setting is an effective technique for enhancing performance, so it is one of the essential strategies. Goal setting is a menta training technique that can increase an individual’s commitment towards achieving a personal goal, which can be separated into short, medium, and long-term goals. The advantage of goal setting is that it helps boost performance levels by achieving targets. Goals setting helps to focus attention, and it is critical to maintain and enhance motivation.

 2. Coaching improves job satisfaction

A career coach can help you identify opportunities for improvement in your personal and professional life, which could lead to greater satisfaction overall. Career coaches typically encourage professionals to explore opportunities and reflect on their interests and skills to find the right profession to pursue. Employees having a coach increases their ability to feel relaxed and helps them understand their value. A coach can help a leader identify skills to be developed, key strengths, and strategies for improvement.

 3. Coaching builds confidence

Any coach can use coaching tools and techniques to help a coachee build more self-confidence. Confidence coaching is designed to help you raise your self-esteem and create a positive outlook on life, starting from within. The aim is to help you challenge any limiting beliefs that you have about yourself, boost your self-esteem, and build a strong self-image. Confidence coaching is about helping you believe in yourself to push through fear and fulfil your true potential.

 4. Increased level of engagement

Coaching engages participants with its unique one-on-one feedback and lots of encouragement. When individuals become engaged with their workplace, they can contribute more effectively to the team and the organization. This engagement also helps to increase productivity, benefiting their careers and overall organization. Coaching is a great way to empower your employees to set great goals and achieve them. Coaching increases employee engagement because employees feel involved. Individual goal completion is also beneficial to organizational objectives.

 5.Support for improving specific skills

Having support for improving skills can be highly beneficial. Simply knowing someone is there to help with goal achievement is an integral part of progress within the coaching process, Coaching allows you to create coachee profiles, facilitate communication and relationship within your program, and achieve your career development objectives. As skill building is often the focus of coaching relationship, there should be specific emphasis on which skills to build, so the coaching is efficient and directed. These skills can include communication, delegation, conflict management, team building, and persuasion, and they can be managed with coaching, Guided support will make the coaching relationship successful in its objectives.

 6. Reduce stress

Coaching helps the coachee to organise and select achievable goals. Poor planning generates unnecessary stress that is detrimental to the sufferer. A good strategy, the necessary motivation, responsibility, effort, and discipline allow for achieving the objectives set. A coach aims to offer you a sense of space, reflection, and clarity. When it comes to stress, the coach seeks to help you understand the root causes rather than to ‘fix’ the symptoms. This is done through a series of conversations where the coach will ask questions to help you gain understanding and offer insights or reflections you may not have considered.

 7. Coaching helps manage time

A time management coach will help you manage your time more effectively. Time management coaching is the fastest way to increase productivity and achieve goals in less time. There are many benefits to working with a time management coach. A time management coach will help you simplify your to-do list and priorities effectively and stay focused. Coaching will help you organise your time effectively. Effective time management ensures you stay focused and productive.

 8. Improvement of relationship

Coaching is applied to improve a person’s results in the relationship with his partner, his family, his boss, his subordinates, the management of conflicts, negotiation, and so on. In addition, another of the benefits of coaching is that it improves communication and interpersonal skills. In other words, it helps connect with other people.

 9. Greater flexibility and adaptability to change

Coaching is transformative, and its essence is steeped in the spirit of a change. One of the benefits of coaching is that it makes the coachee responsible for their own decisions and allows them to better adapt to the environment. Change is inevitable. Good coaches understand this and can efficiently adapt to changing circumstances. While adaptability is the ability to adjust your situation to suit a new environment.

 10. More creativity

The environment of the coachee during the coaching process favors learning. In addition, the coach, the coach encourages the discovery of new alternatives by the coachee, helps connect with the emotional side and unlocks the mind to generate new ideas that lead to change. Creativity implies change also because it transforms one reality into another. Creativity is the ability to create new ideas, solutions, and possibilities. For the work to be considered creative, it must be original and effective in achieving a specific purpose. The coach works with the coachee to identify and set the ground for more explicit goals while establishing management strategies to ensure they met.

#ife coach in India #business coach in India

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Hi! 🥰 10 & 28 for the writing asks? 💕

Thanks for asking 💕💕💕

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

I like kidfics, in part because the number of organic barriers a child can create between two characters is a great way to have them constantly struggling to make the romantic connection work despite being highly competent.

I like a good hook up turned into catching feelings. I love that tiptoe around trying to be cool and wondering who is going to be vulnerable first and just spit it out that maybe they could do something domestic together.

Enemies to lovers done well is truly and art and especially in an action adventure situation where they are like noticing how fucking competent the other one is and trying not to notice but the person is just so fucking talented at blowing things up or whatever, and they can't stop noticing...

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

Yes so first I went to a very rural, small college and ended up being friends with many professors because there just weren't very many people to hang out with. Many of my friends were professional writers or artists and I learned so much just about the work that goes into craft, about the day to day schedule of a professional fine artist, which is a lot grit and discipline and repetition. It was helpful to see first hand how you move from having fun and dabbling (which is FINE I have many artsy things I do for FUN and do not want to IMPROVE at because I just want to play) to being highly skilled at a craft.

If you want to be excellent at something, you just have to do it, and do it, and do it, you have to pour the most tender parts of yourself in, but at some point, you have to depersonalize yourself from the personal parts of it, and focus on the craft of it. I think this attitude is easier to understand with say, learning a piece of music on an instrument, because you want that to be emotional but also highly skilled and technically proficient, but imo it's the same with any art form.

I have my masters in poetry and am also a weirdo and an introvert, so I have always learned how to separate and keep private things that were too tender for critique, those things are for me. But, I am good at separating my tender artistic side from the craft of how best to put the words together, and the gift that someone gives you when they share how they are perceiving your work. Critique is an opportunity to make the things I love about my story come out better to the reader. I also have strong opinions, so that helps, its easy for me to take critique and say, yeah nope! But thanks!

Easy reading is hard writing. But also, hard things get easier the more times you do them. Before I wrote smut for the first time, I read a ton of it, and cut and pasted lines I thought were good into a document, and then wrote a smut scene that was essentially straight up plagiarism but from like 6 different fics, and it took FOREVER. I never published that one but I think it's a good type of writing exercise for any kind of new writing style. Now I am actually pretty fast at writing smut, assuming it's sex with the body parts I've gotten in the habit of writing about.

I never had any interest in writing fiction till this past year, but I think my background in poetry as well my decade plus of writing in professional contexts has heavily shaped my fiction. With poetry, I got very good at cutting out words that I don't need. All the components that are left should multi task, and you have to trust the read to get there. You do the work of putting the words together in their like delicate jenga tower construction, but the reader sees the detail or not. They get it or they don't. It's not my problem.

With my professional writing, which is often in an advocacy context, I am trying to convey complex information but also persuading the reader, so every turn of phrase and word choice matters. You have very limited space to capture someone (a billboard is 8 words max typically) so I actually use the hell out of that poetry degree in my political advocacy career.

I know I'm a VERY WORDY writer, but believe it or not, I cut about half of what I write from my early drafts, and spend a lot of time condensing paragraphs so that the information is conveyed in subtler ways.

#Sorry that was a lot #Listen to me talk about “cutting out excess words” in a 10k essay #Look I didn't say I was good at it #just that it's what I work at getting better at

[sometimesrosy]

Rosy, how do you fall back in love with life? I’ve always been a very happy kid, not surrounded by friends but I wasn’t lonely either. When I went to university, I got sick by the end of the first semester and failed some classes. Because of that, I was put on different classes second semester and I guess became pretty isolated. Before I knew it, I was crying and couldn’t get out of bed. I went on antidepressants and everything seemed beautiful, I made friends and back in town reconnected with old ones. I even got together with my boyfriend, which was definitely a blessing, but then our old friends stopped caring about us and I distanced myself from some due to their attitudes. Anyway, things were still good, I got off the pills, I finished uni with a nice score and came back to town. Got a job at a study center and soon an internship there. I was already feeling lonely before covid, so when it hit I definitely didn’t feel much of a difference. Me and boyfriend went to live together, I got another job with actual coworkers, he found his niche, and we are happy overall. We are even going to buy a house! But there are times when I feel so low, I feel like I can’t really connect to the people at my job, I don’t hate it but I don’t love it either and I feel like I’m wasting my life away there, I’ve send out CVs and not a single place has called me for an interview (which feels alarming to me because I was always told I got a very good CV), and I simply can’t meet new people or even see them again after I do. When I start feeling like this, I want to run away and move countries if I have to. I “blame” my feelings on my hometown for being small, on my country for not having the same opportunities as UK or the USA, on people for not being more open about life. And it gets tiring, I want my bf to feel I’m happy with him, but sometimes I think he gets sad and thinks he’s not enough. I want to feel happy about the house we’re buying together instead of feeling overwhelmed about my life and where it’s headed. I don’t even know what I want, apparently.

The question of how to be happy is not something you can find an answer to and then poof it's done.

I mean aside from the chemical imbalance in the brain where you need meds to regulate things, but that doesn't always work because it's not always the problem and even with that taken care of, a lot of us are still struggling with happiness.

IDK. Life is tiring. It's hard work. It's a lot of disappointment and disillusionment. Things don't work out and people leave and stuff turns out to be not what you hoped for.

Happiness is not a thing to grab onto and hold, I think it's a state of mind, a habit, even an action.

I know one habit that helps is to keep a list every day of three things you are grateful for and/or three things that make you happy. Small things, big things, it doesn't matter. It's pretty hard to start taking these notes but as time goes on it gets easier as you train your brain to look for the good things in your life instead of the dissatisfactions.

Another habit is the habit of mindfulness. Recognizing that you are here, in this minute, making choices and living life. And this thing is good and that thing is meaningful, rather than just taking the life you're living for granted.

On social media, you also see people 'romanticizing' their lives. You know, instead of wishing you could be somewhere else where things are good and perfect and beautiful, you look at the life you're in and you make that the good and perfect and beautiful. Of course it won't really be perfect because there's no such thing. But it's also good to note that those lives that look perfect are just as flawed as yours. But if it's a life you love that you want, then ROMANTICIZE the life you life. Candles and music with dinner. A walk under the stars. Cozy socks and old quilts while reading your favorite book. An adventure to the book store. A sunset over the city. Whatever it is you see in other people's lives that looks like what you want. TAKE IT. AND PUT IT IN YOUR LIFE.

And then again, maybe what you're lacking is a spiritual component to your life. Maybe you want PURPOSE to your life. How do you find your purpose? Explore your chosen religion and/or humanistic practice. Maybe you need to give to others. Maybe you need to meditate or go to church. Maybe you need to commit yourself to something that is outside of yourself.

There's also a buddhist concept of non-attachment. It's very difficult, imo. But the idea is to stop resisting your life as it is, stop WANTING things to be different from what they are, and just, well, accept them for what they are. You want your friends to stick around? Sorry. They're not. And maybe it's not because of something horrible but just because your lives diverged. You are lonely right now? And you don't want to be? Ok, but this is where you are right now, and instead of fighting it maybe explore your personal relationship WITH YOURSELF. You can be alone without being lonely. It's basically just the idea that fighting what your life is is where all the pain and suffering comes from. If you say-- but i don't want to stay here, I don't want to accept it-- that's part of the trick of non-attachment. Because if you ACCEPT your life as it is, you actually have more energy to change things because you're not resisting it the whole time. Your life is HERE. Even if you don't want it to be it is. Now that you're accepting that, what steps RIGHT NOW, RIGHT HERE, can move you forward? but in order to be here right now right here you have to let it BE.

#rosy answers #life is hard

[h00f]

hello everyone!! hope youre all doing well!

i’m back in college! and making art again sometimes! i’d like to post some stuff ive made since feb 2020, and if i get the nerve i just might! have a good night & go eat some fish

#no1 cares #probably will delete this! #i have use of my tablet full time again and i’m feeling more comfortable making things even tho im not as happy with the end result #when i last posted art (not the ones i privd . sry) i had just had a full mental break and realized im a system of people! #which explained the days weeks months years of lost time and memories i dont identify with . or feel Too strongly #and i want to start making work that reflects that. i’m still a bad person for ghosting and getting nervous and i dont expect friends #or forgiveness or kindness or follows or anything. i wanna do things for me! i dont remember making any art on this blog. but now i will! #anyway.. i’ve learned to cook! i work in a local bakery! i grow plants and fungal cultures! i take care of cats! #i struggle with connecting these feelings to actions and habits. but it’s getting easier #jayson loves you all and someday i can repay the kindness ive been given #thats so dramatic. go watch drag race btw its filth but i know every episode by heart now #if u send me a message or ask i promise im so delighted! just. unmedicated now and its even harder to respond. as a warning. but i hope #that you wont hate me. us. for it #so many kids in this brain. so many nervous adults. some entities

[thegodwithin]

hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want. I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist.

Hey, so I just want to say that I really understand you. It’s funny how as I read your ask for the first time it really stood out to me how it was reflecting my current state at that moment so thank you for sending it. I will try my best to answer your questions but I'm still figuring this stuff out myself so I'm also just going to recommend some material that should help. I’ll put all the links at the end of the reply.

I have broken up your ask into several different topics and I’ll be addressing each one separately so please bear with me here.

This is the longest reply I've ever written so the rest is under the cut

law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused.

i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc.

I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist.

The first and most important thing I want to say to you is that you should really learn from the source material, which as far as I’m concerned here is Neville Goddard. I know there are other teachers like him but he’s the main source most blogs and youtubers make their content from. And frankly a lot of posts on tumblr seem to really simplify and reduce things to the point where you get to this idea that it’s all just affirming and persisting which I really can’t agree with. That’s a conclusion one can reach after learning this stuff, processing it, experimenting with it and realizing what works best for them. But there are certainly other factors involved in the process, whether the person was aware of them or not. This also goes for youtubers and coaches in general. All these people are speaking based on their own experiences with the law. Through the lenses of their own beliefs, limitations, etc. So it’s only natural that they will sound different from each other and their message and style might not resonate with every person in the same way. Which is why you’re not supposed to just accept everything you hear or read at face value. Apply it, experiment with it and make your own conclusions.

like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results.

Most of us come into contact with the law from a negative situation and looking for a quick fix, and what we end up finding is a whole lot more than we ever bargained for. These teachings challenge everything we have ever known and accepted as absolute unchangeable truths in the world. And we are also dared to accept the responsibility that we were the cause of our entire lives?! It’s a lot to take in. You can’t be one foot in and one foot out. You’re trying to manifest something but you’re not seeing results. If you’re looking for results then you weren’t truly committed to living in the end and you haven’t really changed. You must notice the change within first, before the outside world can reflect that. You just give yourself what you want in your mind, and you keep doing it, day in and day out, with complete disregard for what your outer senses are telling you, until it hardens into a fact.

i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier?

Battling with the 3d can certainly be painful and it just turns into a vicious cycle, because the more attention you pay to something, the more it gets perpetuated in your reality and in your experiences. I’ll be honest with you, sometimes I struggle with this as well. If anything, at least remember to prioritize your feelings at every given moment. If you notice that you’re feeling bad / reacting negatively to the 3d, stop and ask yourself: what do I want? or what do I want to feel?

Usually when I do that my mind automatically shows me the answer and then if I can enter the reality (within me, in my mind with my thoughts and feelings) where those things are true, suddenly that circumstance I was just reacting to doesn’t matter anymore. Because I feel fulfilled within now.

Just start allowing yourself to have what you want, no matter what. Practice putting yourself first, before anything else, before the circumstances around you, before what others might say or do. Even if the 3d looks bad right now, you deserve to feel what you want, you don’t have to keep putting yourself down because you haven’t seen an outside change yet. And the truth is that you won’t see a change if you keep watching the 3d and taking score from it. Because it can only change after you do. Because it’s a reflection of you. Allow yourself to feel that relief and satisfaction, in your imagination, everyday. Make it a habit and little by little you will have changed your mindset, entering a new reality.

Everything in your 3d world is an illusion in the sense that it’s not the truth. And this is because everything that you experience with your senses, in your 3d world is a direct reflection of you. You are everything, and you are everywhere you go and every person you meet. You can only ever experience yourself, nothing else. Nothing exists outside of you. Everything begins and ends with you.

and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine?

You are God of your own reality. There’s only you in your reality. Nothing else and no one else. So everything and everyone that shows up is under your influence. IN YOUR REALITY. You can’t really access other people’s realities or inner worlds, and likewise they can’t reach yours. Even what you perceive as things outside of you pertaining to other people’s lives and experiences are still coming in through your own lenses, of the concept you have of that person, of the expectations and beliefs you have about them. This is why you shouldn’t bother with anything but yourself. Because it’s a waste of energy. Because everything you will ever perceive will come through you first. You can’t experience anything but yourself, your beliefs and your expectations. If you believe others can influence your reality then you are living from fear and you are giving your power away.

i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof??

Instead of trying to manifest things in order to “see proof”, just let things happen and watch yourself during the process. Start really paying attention to what you’re thinking and feeling on a daily basis. Notice that your thoughts and reactions come from a certain state of being. Notice how people act in ways that you expect them to, because “that’s just how they are”.No, it’s because that’s the concept you hold of them in your reality, and they treat you according to the concept you hold of yourself. By doing this you will start to realize the connection between what has shown up in your life so far, and the person you were identifying with within. And when I say identifying with, I don’t mean something like an affirmation such as “I’m confident”. Your identification and basically your self concept comes from your perspective, the way you see things, the way you react to things and the way you act, the thoughts you have and what you accept as true. Those will show you who you really are.

i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them

The thing with success stories is that as much as they can be motivational, the process and the factors are always the same. They succeeded because they managed to change their mindset, they entered a new reality (within), they changed their dwelling place (the state of being they return to the most) and their outer reality simply reflected that change. Their circumstances are irrelevant and the only thing setting them apart is the techniques they used and how long it took for them to actually shift their mindset and accept the new reality they wanted. Techniques are not really that relevant because they only serve to aid you into moving states. So at this point it’s really just about what works best for you.

i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong??

There’s no such thing as affirming wrong. And please take affirming off the pedestal. It’s just a technique and you don’t need to use it if it’s troubling you. Affirmations are just thoughts you would be having if you were living in the end. So their purpose is only to help make you feel like you are living in the wish fulfilled. There’s no point in affirming all day long if you keep feeling like you’re in the same old shitty reality. Again it’s the same thing I’ve been saying before. You can’t affirm for two opposite things at the same time and get the result you want. Use affirmations as much as you like but watch yourself for the rest of the time.

The reason this isn’t a trying process is because you’re not attempting to do anything to get something. You are simply being in a different way. You are changing your mind, changing your thoughts, choosing better feelings. This is a lifestyle change. If you accept the law, your entire perception changes. Nothing is ever the same as it used to be. This can be a hard pill to swallow but at some point you gotta be honest with yourself. There is no trying. There is only doing and there is only being.

i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting.

I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want

You’re exhausted because you keep going back and forth between what you want and what has shown up. You need to pick one side and stick to it. You need to dive so deep into the feeling of what you want to the point where thinking the opposite feels unnatural. I know you don’t wanna hear this but thinking you’re doing something wrong really is also getting in your way. Think about it this way: you’re in the end goal, you’re there, it’s done, you got it. Would you be thinking about ANY of this stuff if that was the case? Would you be doubting and having all these fears and looking around everyday to make sure it’s still there? We both know you wouldn’t.

You just can’t have it and wonder where it is at the same time. You have to stick to the end goal and reject anything that contradicts that.

I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me

People say manifesting is easy and fun because you’re just supposed to satisfy yourself within by giving yourself what you want. If it feels like a chore then you're not giving yourself what you really want. You are focusing on what you think you should be doing and you are also keeping yourself hostage to your unwanted circumstances. If your desires are so important to you then stop putting conditions on them, stop looking for excuses to deny yourself of them. Get drunk in the feeling and the knowing of their fulfilment. Let go of all the doubts and fears, turn your back on your senses telling you it’s not here yet. Be stubborn and stop taking no for an answer.

You’re coming from a place of: I have all these unwanted circumstances and I want to have xyz instead, but no matter what I do, things aren't changing.

If you had xyz by now, would you still be repeating the unwanted circumstances in your head? Would you be thinking about them? Would you be reacting to them? Would you be identifying with this version of yourself that can’t get what you want?

No! You would be living your life, doing the things you enjoy, your duties and responsibilities, resting in the knowledge that you got that desire. It’s a reality now. It’s part of your life. You’d be living from that perspective.

You're keeping the unwanted stuff in place by reaffirming them, by looking at it everyday and going “yep, still here!”, you’re still accepting it as true for you. You can’t keep your attention on something without getting more of it. You need to die to the unwanted reality. Never to be seen again.

I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking.

Self concept is not a technique that you do once a day. Self concept is who you are. It’s how you behave and what you think all the time, every day, all day. It's what you believe and accept as true for you in all aspects. I think this community has been breaking up the law into bits and pieces, as if there are all these separate factors and steps you need to take, and it’s done more damage than good because it’s actually literally all the same thing, it’s all connected. Once you change through the means of one aspect, the other aspects change automatically. Self concept, mental diet, states, it’s all connected, they all lead to the same destination, you. Neville uses these terms interchangeably, to get his point across in the best way he sees fit at that moment, but he’s always talking about the same thing. So bottomline is that if you “keep breaking”, then you’re still in the process of change, you’re going from one state to the other, from unwanted to wanted. Back and forth. You’re still falling for the illusion of the 3d world and you’re still feeling the pull of your old story. You need to take a stand and decide that enough is enough. No longer accept what you don’t want. You’re the only one making the choice here. No one is forcing you to stay in the unwanted mindset but your own habits and comfort zone.

I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet.

Look, there’s nothing to combat here. There’s no war going on. It’s all just you. You don’t have any blocks or limiting beliefs you need to overpower. This isn’t a good perspective to hold. You ARE the power. I fought these types of statements for a long time but I can understand it now. You need to stop focusing on limiting beliefs or blocks. Stop thinking AND believing that you have problems that are getting in your way and that you need to overcome them. By holding this perspective, you’re only going to create more problems to overcome. Remember what I’ve been saying that you’re in the end now? Are there any blocks in the end? When the wish is fulfilled? I don’t think so and neither do you! I want you to take the challenge to declare to yourself that you no longer have any limitations. It’s all gone! You’re free now! I want you to wake up everyday and before you get out of bed, you remind yourself that hey, all that stuff is gone now! Nothing to worry about anymore! How good is that?!

I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want.

You keep the faith in the unseen by believing and trusting in yourself. If you accept that you can do anything, that you deserve what you want, that you are the operant power and that everything is coming FROM you, then you know all you need is yourself. Idk it truly is a leap of faith, you need to make a choice. Do you want to live by what is outside of you, or by what’s within you? If you accept the law as true, then you have no choice but to start living by what’s within you. If you’re still sitting there thinking that your world is ruled by the circumstances outside of you then you don’t believe a tiny bit in any of this stuff. You’re truly wasting your time if you hold that perspective in place.

Okay I hope this whole essay I spent hours on helps! Now let’s get you those recs!

You can read most if not all of Neville's work for free here: https://realneville.com/

These are my current favorite Neville Based Teachers:

I am Love / Feeling Twisty (he's also on apple podcasts and spotify I believe)

Here's my own personal playlist of Neville based videos on youtube

There's a LOT of good stuff on reddit tbh, here's pretty much everything I have saved from there:

(ps.: it's good to check the comments on reddit posts because there's usually discussions happening and you can find some good pointers)

EdwardArtSupplyHands Series / Quote

ALLISMIND:

Feelings are your power

How thoughts and beliefs become reality

Overthinking

Superman's way of life

Thinking positive

Living from the Law

There's no reality

You don't believe in the Law

Nothing will change your mind

(ps.: he has A LOT of content, these are just the few I looked into)

Other posts:

Change your mind

It's Real. Success Story

Decide what you want

Self concept and personality

Self concept and self love

Letting go of control

Don't rationalize it

The state of the wish fulfilled

Checkmate 3D

Planting the seeds

Don't react

Faith and Knowledge

Slacker Manifesting

Persistence assumption

Don't complicate it

All you need is reassurance

Brazen Impudence

Manifesting is easy

Practical guide

Why circumstances don't matter

Commit to your desire

Ignore the Outside

Clarifying the Law for beginners

(ps.: These aren't 100% accurate tittles, just based on the actual tittles)

#law of assumption #neville goddard #answered asks #o #tag

[wordsnstuff]

Guide to Writing in First Person POV

Patreon || Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Work In Progress

–

Practice & Adjustment

When you’re new to writing in first person, or you’re returning to the practice after not having done so for a long time, it can be difficult to adjust to the style. It’s a big shift to go from writing from third person, a relatively straight-forward perspective, to first person. First person introduces a whole new set of elements to consider when writing. Bias, reliability of their memory versus the objective truth versus the other characters’ memory of the same events, and motivation. Motivation is especially tricky when it comes to the first-person narrative because you have to sort out not only what happens and how it effects the characters/plot but why the narrator is including it, and how their personal perspective changes the way you’re depicting the events. The best way to adjust to this style is to practice. One of my personal favorite ways to practice is through low-stakes writing. Fanfiction, short stories, personal retellings of my own experiences like diary entries, etc. These are all methods of story-telling that are typically short-form and allow you to naturally familiarize yourself with the characteristics of a first-person narrative.

Including Backstory & Context

When you’re writing in first person, it’s important to consider that certain characteristics of the narrator’s perspective won’t make sense to the reader or adequately add to their reading experience until you apply the relevant context. Personal experiences, values, motivations, and priorities all influence how a person tells a story, and in order to write a good first-person narrative, you need to have a grasp on these things. The reader needs to understand them as well. Perhaps some of these things are deliberately omitted from the reader’s awareness,. If a narrator’s motivations, for example, are going to remain a mystery until the end, you must deliver a satisfying conclusion that establishes to the reader why that choice was made. It’s generally a good idea to introduce this information early on. Backstory and personal context are essential to the foundation of a first-person narrative. 

Developing Secondary Characters

Developing secondary characters can be a challenge in this point of view because you’re solely focused on the lens of an individual. The other characters in the story will therefore be established to the reader based on what the narrator thinks, feels, and tells of them. Many writers feel concern about creating well-rounded secondary characters in a first person narrative because everything the reader sees must be witnessed by the narrator. However, this can be an advantage. A secondary character’s arc forms more naturally because it’s being observed organically through the eyes of another. The narrator makes observations for the reader to interpret alongside them. The reader may not have extensive knowledge of the specifics that cause a change in the characters, but they are more intuitively informed by the secondary characters’ behaviors and reactions to the narrator and whatever the narrator can see. 

Distinctive Voice

You must be deliberate in the way you construct the narrator’s consciousness. It’s imperative that you be somewhat in-character while you write in first person because their thought process must be consistent throughout the storytelling. What are they likely to notice or fixate on when they’re experiencing or recounting events? What is likely going through their heads? What causes alarm or comfort and how is this reflected in the vocabulary or tone they use in description? A distinctive voice is a major part of developing your perspective character, so approach it with intention. 

Depict, Don’t Report

It’s just as easy in first person as it is in third person to fall into the habit of reporting events rather than depicting them. Reporting is when the narrative consists of “she said this” or “he felt this” or “the weather was bad”. Depicting is recounting the events with style and deliberate detail that constructs a tone and absorbs the reader. “He cast his eyes downward and kicked at the rocks on the path.” “A shadow fell over the café as clouds inched across the sun, “I love you,” he said. “I know,” I whispered. My eyes refused to lift from the condensation on the glass before me.” That’s the difference. Vocabulary, syntax, and deliberate detail absorbs the reader. 

Common Struggles

~ How do I avoid starting every sentence with the word “I”?... Intimate vocabulary & diverse sentence structure. When a scene consists of too many sentences that begin with the word “I”, that’s a good indication that you’re telling rather than showing. Detail should be interspersed and create some distance from the narrator’s inner monologue. Use vocabulary that bring the reader in and vary the construction of your sentences. This often becomes easier when you set aside time to focus on the practice of technical writing skills, rather than the practice of storytelling. 

~ How do I maintain consistent tense (past vs present) while writing from the first person perspective?... Practice. A lot of narrative skill and consistency comes with practice. Devoting time to a focused practice of maintaining consistent narrative tense at the same time as telling a story in first person is immensely helpful. Set aside time before and during the drafting process to practice your skill in this. Once you’re comfortable and zoned into these mechanics, you won’t have to think about it that much. It’s like muscle memory. 

~ How can I identify biases the character might have in relation to the events they’re recounting?... Analyze their motivations. Analyze their relationships to the other parties involved, and how that may influence what they focus on and what language they would use to describe the other characters’ actions. A lot of this nuance comes in the second draft and editing stages, but initially these two things are essential to writing a sturdy, foundational first-person narrative draft. 

~ What techniques can I use to keep the POV character’s voice unique & consistent?... Include deliberate trends in vocabulary, thought process, and focus. This is where their personality shines through their words. Are they more likely to notice the weather or the traffic when they first step out of their home? When having an argument, are they more likely to apply context to the other person’s tone or their body language?

~ How do I avoid accidentally making the POV character omniscient?... Get in character and don’t repeatedly remind yourself of things that you as an author know, but you as a narrator do not. If you as a narrator know that a secondary character is upset during a scene for reasons the POV character isn’t aware of, it’s important to walk the line of first person observation and omniscient foreshadowing. Question often why you’re including details in description, and if the answer is ever information that the POV character doesn’t know yet, it’s probably best to cut it out. 

Other Resources

Pros & Cons of Different Points of View

Resources For Describing Characters

Resources For Describing Emotion

Connecting To Your Own Characters

Giving Characters Distinct Voices in Dialogue

 Introducing Secondary Characters

Tips on Character Consistency

Tackling Subplots

Resources For Describing Physical Things

How To Develop A Distinct Voice In Your Writing

Balancing Detail & Development

Showing VS Telling in First Person POV

Showing Vs Telling

Describing emotion through action

Improving Flow In Writing

–

Masterlist | WIP Blog

If you enjoy my blog and wish for it to continue being updated frequently and for me to continue putting my energy toward answering your questions, please consider Buying Me A Coffee, or pledging your support on Patreon, where I offer early access and exclusive benefits for only $5/month.

Shoutout to my $15+ patron, Douglas S.!

#writing #writeblr #writespo #writing tips #writing advice #writing resources #writing reference #resources for writers #resources for writing #writing help #writing workshop #guide to writing #creative writing #point of view #perspective #POV

[rose-kingdom]

| cuddling with their s/o |

- suna, akaashi, atsumu, kenma

gender neutral reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

part 1

— — —

| suna. |

- he loves to bury his head in the crook of your neck, for you being able to feel him exhale, letting you know with that lingering tingle on your skin that he’s still there.

- he really appreciates the extra warmth you bring into his bed as you cuddle with him, your warmth is something that he wishes he could bask in all day.

- like most, weekends are his favourite days of the week, he relishes knowing that he can wake up and hold you for a few more hours before having to show even the slightest interest in doing anything.

- while cuddling, he always makes a habit of peppering lazy kisses onto your neck, lips and collarbone,, they always seem innocent enough.

- his hands rest firmly around your waist as he cushions his head on your chest while you twirl his hair in your hands, occasionally he’ll nuzzle his head against your hand, silently telling you he loves you.

suna’s head found refuge in the crook of your neck, letting out a content exhale that sent shivers down your spine. he curled further into your warmth, it almost felt as if something was compelling him toward you but he couldn’t quite place it. all he knew, is that he was perfectly content in that moment.

the soft glow of the early morning sun captured your face perfectly, god you were ethereal. weekends were always the slowest that both of your live’s got. hours would waste away as you cuddled together under a fluffy blanket with the tv flicked to a random channel. he placed a kiss to the soft skin of your neck, which was promptly followed by half a dozen more.

your hand kneaded through his hair, fingertips softly brushing against his scalp as your eyes scanned over the scene playing on the tv. suna’s eyes were fixated on his phone screen, he was struggling to comprehend the words he was reading, though. the feeling of you threading your fingers through his hair was so distracting and comfortable. subconsciously, he lightly pushed back against your hand before retreating his head back.

— — —

| akaashi. |

- he rubs small, soothing circles on the small of your back, he finds himself doing it a lot more during weeks with big tests.

- he never forgets to remind you of how much he loves and cherishes you, he constantly shows you through small, chaste kisses placed carefully on your temple.

- he makes a habit of triple checking if you’re comfortable before he even thinks of moving himself, he’ll do anything to make sure you feel secure in his arms.

- he’ll place his arms around your torso with his chin resting lightly on your head and a book open in front of him, this way he can catch up on some ready while you cuddle closer into his chest.

- you falling asleep in his arms always leads to a content smile finding its way to his face, because this way at least he knows that you’re resting peacefully.

- seeing you so peaceful makes him feel content and so he’ll double check that you’ll be comfortable for the night before pulling you closer to him and succumbing to sleep.

akaashi smiled, looking over at you standing in his door way. you were tired, he could tell by the bags under your eyes and the way your posture was slightly slumped. you approached him, before falling down on his bed and closing your eyes. discarding his book beside him, he looked over with worry and wordlessly placed a hand on your shoulder.

you lifted your bed, allowing him a closer look at the flush of red across your cheeks and the slight tears forming in your eyes. “‘kaashi?” “yes darling? what’s the matter?” concern laced his voice, a caring look forming in his eyes. you crawled over to him and into his arms, burying you head in his chest and letting out tiny sobs. he leaned back and pulled you closer towards him, his eyes widening at your next question, “do you love me?”

he cupped your face in his hands and placed a chaste kiss to your forehead. a simple action that he’d complete as a way to silently reassure you, “darling, of course i love you.” with that reaffirmation, you curled closer into his chest, allowing him to rest his chin on your head. he rhythmically started rubbing circles on the small of your back, inviting a sense of drowsiness to wash over you as you felt your eyes grow heavy. a content smile stretched on his lips as he stared down at you sleeping peacefully on his chest. he picked up his book and quietly returned to his reading.

— — —

| atsumu. |

- he’s always the big spoon, he rests his chin atop your head to let you know that he’s completely content with just holding you close to him.

- your head always finds a way to bury itself into his chest, and he never declines when a leg is lazily thrown over his.

- hes clingy and loves to hold you while cuddling, he’ll pull you so you’re lying flush on his chest, it’s just easier to hold you close.

- you can’t even think about leaving his arms, once you try and leave, he’s not letting you go for the rest of the night.

- although he’d never admit it, the face you make when you’re tired and struggling to stay awake for him is adorable.

- always makes a comment about how disheveled you look after cuddling, he only does this to elicit a reaction from you.

atsumu fell down on your bed with a thud, burying his head in your blankets. in his message he claimed he was coming over to study. of course, you knew he meant he was coming over to cuddle, he very rarely studied after practice. he let out a huff before laying his head on your pillow, making grabby hands as to signal for you to join him.

you obliged and joined him with a slight chuckle at his childishness. he slipped his arms around your torso as you layed your head against his chest. you slung a leg over his and he pulled you closer to him. once you have adjusted into a comfortable position, he placed his chin atop of your head and let out a content sigh.

you fell asleep with him holding you in his arms. when you both woke up, he held back a chuckle at your dishevelled hair and rosy cheeks. when you looked up at him with a small smile he felt his heart beat a little faster and his cheeks grow hotter. he would always find you adorable.

— — —

| kenma. |

- having any sense of connection is extremely important to him, having the reassurance that you’re still there, that you haven’t left him.

- usually will rest his head in your lap while he plays his games or you will cuddle up in his lap on his gaming chair.

- absolutely adores it when you just simply fiddle with his hair while his head lays in your lap, he feels comfortable when you play with his hair.

- late nights playing mario kart are his favourite because you’ll sit in his lap with his arms around you, he’ll place his head on your shoulder and bury his head into your neck.

- he’s an absolute sucker for an s/o who is perfectly content on just holding his hand while sleeping, there’s something about you being there but not too close.

- kenma just wants the reassurance, he wants to know that the person who managed to break down his walls cherishes him as much as he cherishes them.

the repetitive clicking of a mouse filled the otherwise silent room. the occasional call out to his teammates through the headset left kenma’s mouth. you scrolled through your phone, refusing to admit that you’d slowly fallen into a state of boredom. your boyfriend and had recently bought a new game, one that he’d been excited about for a while.

you clicked off your phone and placed it beside you on his bed. you made your way over to him quietly, socks meeting carpeted floor. as you reached him, you turned to stand facing him before climbing onto his lap and wrapping your legs around his torso. he placed a peck onto your forehead before placing his chin on your head.

kenma loved when you got all cuddly like this, when he could hold his favourite person while playing his favourite games. he blushed as you buried your head into the crook of his neck. butterflies flustered in his stomach, he could feel the very tips of his ears heating up.

“hey baby, if you get up we can cuddle and play some mario kart.”

— — —

hello lovelies ! i hope everyone is having an amazing day/night , if not my inbox is always open if you need to talk !!

- rose

#hq headcanons #suna x reader #kenma x reader #haikyuu #akaashi x reader #atsumu x reader #akaashi hcs #suna hcs #kenma hcs #atsumu hcs #kenma headcanons #atsumu headcanons #akaashi headcanons #suna headcanons #suna rintarou #suna rintaro #kenma kozume #atsumu miya #akaashi keiji #rose.haikyuu

[makeste]

some meta about Izuku, Katsuki, and trust

and choosing to trust is the real bridge that goes to accepting that person as a part of your live again and what the offender has to earn. I think the interesting aspect of Deku and Bakugou's relationship is that Deku has always trusted Bakugou, and I would say more than he had forgiven him at the start of the story (where he does show more frustration and resentment towards Bakugou's behaviour and see him as a jerk) but despite that he can always trust Bakugou to him himself, attested to

the fact that Deku feels very confident about how Bakugou will act or what Bakugou's true motives are and probably the reason why he always sees Bakugou as a hero despite his hurtful behaviour is because Deku 100% trusts Bakugou even if he's doing something disagreeable or that will hurt him. Knowing someone and trusting is not exactly the same and I see it as trust because of Deku willingness to be co-operative. On Bakugou's side he is mistrustful of Deku and thats where the communication

breaks down and there has been plenty of meta exploring why Bakugou has deep rooted problems around Deku and his journey is him taking accountability of that and changing to be a better person. While understanding and miscommunication get their fair due I think trust and mistrust are the true bedrocks of the bkdk river bed because that allows for how they can still be so connected despite the miscommunication (with Bakugou mistrust is mixed with some trust) because of knowing.

anon I really enjoyed this, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I concur with just about all of this, and this ask got me thinking a lot about the nature of trust, and how it applies to Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship.

I think a lot of people’s reactions to reading the sentence “Bakugou and Deku have always trusted each other” would pretty much be, “???” and “lol what.” like, yeah, sure. they trusted each other so much that Bakugou decided that throwing a tantrum for ten years would be an appropriate reaction to Deku trying to hold his hand. classic Trust, right there!!

lol but I honestly think this is true, though. it’s just that there are different... levels?? types?? of trust. let’s go with types. there are different types of trust, and what makes Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship so interesting to me is that it’s kind of the opposite of what these fictional rival-type relationships usually are. it’s basically the difference between knowing, and understanding.

okay so first of all let’s back up here to make sure we’re all on the same page. we’re defining trust as “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone”, which is the Oxford Language definition and which works pretty well for me. you’ll note, btw, that the current relationship between Katsuki and Izuku more or less meets all four of these criteria.

reliability - both boys regard each other as dependable and are willing to rely on each other in a pinch (although Izuku is currently having some difficulty with that, but that’s another topic for another day).

truth - both are honest with each other, though not completely honest (this is the aspect that Katsuki still needs to work on, as he’s currently hiding his desire to atone).

ability - neither of them have any difficulty with this. Izuku admires Katsuki’s ability so much that he’s made it his own gold standard since childhood, and Katsuki respects Izuku’s ability enough that he made him his main rival, and never doubted that Izuku was qualified to receive OFA and become All Might’s heir.

strength - as with ability, this is another aspect of trust that neither of them has ever struggled with. in fact, a lot of their relationship struggles happened specifically because Katsuki never doubted Izuku’s strength, but feared it because he didn’t understand it.

so yeah. there’s a lot more trust between them than most people realize, I think. but the thing is that the type of trust they have is based more on knowing than understanding, and that’s where so much of their conflict stems from.

when I say knowing, I’m talking about the kind of awareness that comes from familiarity and experience. this is the type of trust that’s difficult to take shortcuts with, because it mostly just has to be accumulated over time. this is all about learning what someone is like through observing them and being around them. and it’s just as much about being known as well, because at the same time that you’re learning who the other person is, they’re learning about who you are. and that’s where trust starts to work its way in. it’s the slow unveiling of who you are, and laying it on the table piece by piece over time. and every time another little piece of you is revealed and accepted, and every time you accept one more piece of who the other person is in turn, that trust increases a little bit more. this type of trust takes a long, long time to build up, but in exchange the foundation it creates is pretty much rock-solid and nigh-indestructible.

understanding, on the other hand, to me is more instinctual. it’s about empathy and insight. and the interesting thing is that it’s possible to know someone for years upon years, and yet never truly understand them. and on the flip side, it’s also possible to understand someone within minutes of meeting them, even if you know almost nothing about them. if “knowing” is about learning who someone is, I would say that “understanding” is about learning why they are who they are. this type of trust isn’t necessarily always mutual, but it does necessitate forming a connection with someone. because empathy is such a critical component of it, it’s basically impossible to understand someone and not form an emotional connection to them in some way. this type of trust can be far more powerful and intense than the “knowing” type of trust, but the flip side is that it can sometimes be less stable and easier to break.

I think that the majority of fictional relationships, especially the ones that become really popular ships, are based more around the latter type of trust because of its intensity and unpredictability and potential for story development. the thing is, both of these types of trust are necessary for a good ship (and when I say “ship”, I’m talking about both romantic and platonic relationships just fyi). if neither type of trust is present on at least some level, then there’s really no foundation to start building up the relationship. so most of the time a ship will start out with one or the other, and then over the course of the story they'll work on building up whichever one was lacking.

and because of how stories work, the majority of the time we’re going to be dealing with characters who at first don’t know each other all that well. and so the relationships we get are ones where the characters first form some kind of emotional connection that builds understanding, and then over time they start to learn more about each other and build up that kind of trust as well. I feel like 90% of ships have this kind of dynamic. it’s the basis for things like enemies-to-lovers, fake dating AUs, and basically any kind of trope in which the characters get stuck somewhere and are forced to spend a lot of time together. it’s good, and it works.

but the fascinating thing about the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki, though, is that it’s actually the exact opposite of this. the premise of Izuku and Katsuki's story is that these are two people who’ve known each other their entire lives, but have almost no understanding of each other whatsoever. they know almost every little detail about each other, so much that they hardly even think about it. but all of their conflict is based on the fact that understanding between them is basically nonexistent.

and to me this is such an intriguing dynamic. the two of them know each other like the back of their hand. they’re familiar with the smallest habits. they can predict each other’s actions. they know how the other person thinks. and they have the kind of trust that comes with having seen the other at both their best and their worst. Katsuki is capable of letting his guard down around Izuku in a way he doesn’t do around anyone else. he cries in front of him on multiple occasions. he lets Izuku call him “Kacchan” long after their other childhood friends have stopped doing so. and even though he fears and resents Izuku’s strength early on, he also subconsciously acknowledges it in ways that even he doesn’t realize (e.g. “don’t you dare get into U.A.,” rather than “you can’t get in” or “you won’t get in”). he knows Izuku.

but he doesn’t understand Izuku. he knows who he is, but he doesn’t understand why. he knows that Izuku is strong, but he can't wrap his head around the nature of that strength. and because he lacks that understanding, this vital aspect of the trust between them is lacking, and is all too easily broken when Katsuki falls into the creek and Izuku tries to offer his help. Katsuki knows that Izuku is a good person, but he doesn’t understand that goodness, that selflessness, and so he’s mistrustful of it.

on the flip side of the coin, however, Izuku has the utmost faith in Katsuki. to him, Katsuki is the strongest, smartest, most capable and most amazing person in the world (aside from All Might). and Izuku, unlike Katsuki, actually does understand his childhood friend at least a little bit. he understands Katsuki’s reasons for wanting to be a hero. he understands that Katsuki is not just mindlessly pursuing strength. he understands that Katsuki’s motivation is about overcoming obstacles and beating challenges. and most importantly, he understands that Katsuki, in spite of everything he’s said and done to Izuku over the years, is fundamentally a good person.

and this is crucial. because, along with the bond of familiarity they’ve built up together over the years, it’s this other, one-sided bond of understanding that is responsible for their relationship enduring for as long as it did despite everything. as you put it, anon, Izuku’s trust is ultimately what becomes the bridge between them. on some level, he trusts in Katsuki’s innate goodness. he believes in it in spite of all of Katsuki’s attempts to persuade him otherwise. e.g. when Katsuki suggests that he go jump off the roof, Izuku is hurt by the words, but he never once takes them to heart, because he knows on some instinctive level that Katsuki doesn’t mean them. and so he grumbles to himself about Katsuki needing to think before he speaks, but aside from that he never gives the words another thought.

Katsuki would no doubt consider this yet another example of Izuku not caring enough about himself or taking himself into account. but it really is more than that. the reason the words don’t cut deep in spite of them being vicious and well-targeted is simply because Izuku knows that Katsuki isn't truly that cruel. and he knows that on a level so deep that Katsuki is never able to break it despite his best efforts. he can’t break it, because there’s nothing to break, because it’s true. the reason the relationship endures in spite of everything is because deep down Katsuki is fundamentally a good person, and so Izuku’s trust, in the end, is based on truth. and so it never fully breaks, and eventually, it becomes reciprocated.

and that’s what their story is all about. it’s two people that have known each other their entire lives, but have to work in order to build their understanding of each other. unlike many ships, they start off already having that foundation of knowing and being known, and so their story instead is about forging that connection of empathy and insight. and it doesn’t come easily to them at all. but they keep at it.

anyway, so thank you again for sharing your thoughts on this, anon. I didn’t even get into the topic of forgiveness, but I agree with you about it being a process of letting go of negative feelings and resentment. I also agree that forgiveness is a separate thing from trust, but I do think trust plays a big part in one’s decision to forgive or not forgive. it's a lot easier to forgive if you have an understanding of the other person’s actions. and it’s also far, far easier to forgive if the offender’s actions are long in the past. and because the latter is now true in Katsuki’s case, that shows a pattern of him learning from his mistakes and not repeating them. which further builds trust, especially in the “reliability” department. and so even though forgiveness and trust are two separate things, they’re still connected. and in many ways, by working to rebuild the understanding between him and Izuku, Katsuki is also working towards earning Izuku’s forgiveness, even though that’s ultimately something that can never truly be earned, but can only be granted.

I’m not sure if I’m really making my point very clear here lol, but basically what I’m trying to say is that while the relationship may have once been one-sided in this aspect, it’s not anymore. it’s mutual, and they’re both putting the work in. and Katsuki is also doing his part without any guarantee or expectation of forgiveness on Izuku’s end. it’s unconditional. he’s doing it because he wants to atone. and he’ll continue to do it whether he’s forgiven or not. and that’s important. it’s important because it shows that the relationship has value to both of them. and it’s important because neither of them wants to lose it. they want to fix it; they want to make it stronger.

and ultimately what that means is that the relationship will continue to endure, despite their ups and downs. because even though it may have started out as something incidental -- two boys who just happened to become friends because they spent a lot of time together as children -- it’s not, anymore. it’s no longer just something that happened, something that just accidentally came together. it’s something that they’re both working to build. they want to trust each other. they want to understand one another. their relationship is no longer something that simply withstood and persisted -- it’s something that is now being nurtured. and you love to see it.

so let's see, how do I even begin to tl;dr this post lol. something something blah blah blah trust, understanding, childhood friends, knowing someone, having faith in someone, being the recipient of that faith, and working to become worthy of it. they're very confused, but they care about each other a lot, and they are good boys.

#midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks