#i suppose it's not super important | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lord-squiggletits · 1 month

Text

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain #so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash #i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent #what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving #is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt #and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists #so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character #so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of #'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him'#but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid #and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like #the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of #being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths #then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part #and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts #and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine #this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer #and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like #how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil #and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit #like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma #but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel #and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple #bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed #but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal

277 notes · View notes

haunted-xander · 1 year

Text

Did you really think you were alive?

#important to note that the text is supposed to be nagito @ izuru #nagito komaeda #izuru kamukura #kamukoma #danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #sdr2 #art #my art #xanders art #xanders haunting art #digital art #fan art #edit: i feel like i should clarify that the last text is supposed to be read as 'death given sentience' and not the other way around #sorry for the confusion i formatted it weirdly ^^'

558 notes · View notes

moeblob · 5 months

Text

Alright I told someone I would give propaganda for these two so here we go. As a warning, I didn't play mobile or Re-Mind soooooooo. Yeah there's that. I know they're apparently involved in past stuff but shhh.

So first off, everyone's weapon is super useful! Except theirs. Which I always thought was really funny? Even in Re:CoM Zexion's book was more direct than these two. I really enjoyed them just as the most indirect fighters? And figured they'd be pretty chill and after playing KH2 as a kid I'm like. I think Luxord would be most tolerable to music while vibing. He could play Solitaire or something while Demyx played music and possibly chatted. Therefore, my younger self was like "it's perfect".

ALSO CONSIDERING THEIR NUMBERS! And the line in KH3 during the scene where Demyx is like "yup I got benched", they've probably got a history. However, the number they get originally is supposed to be the order they joined. So with Marluxia and Larxene obviously tied together in the past, all I can think of is these two just being absolute bums wandering around pre-Organization and just hitch hiking their way into a cult. Which is also REALLY funny to me because what if they joined at the same time but Demyx got to be IX and Luxord is X.

Demyx would hold his rank over his head for the dumbest stuff (in my head canons of the past).

Like there's so many things we specifically do not know about these two so basically, until I'm proven absolutely incorrect in game (which might have happened and I just don't know) ! I think they'd be a good match.

And I mean, it's also just (gestures) LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE. Great designs and I think that's good enough for me!

#kingdom hearts #demyx #luxord #i really just looked at these losers when i played kh2 on ps2 and was like wow they should kiss #and now im many years older and i am still like wow they should kiss #also i was telling my sister i was trying to come up with propaganda doodles and im like #yeah its two guys what more would the kh fandom need ya know #and she looks at me and goes did you really just say they're two guys thats enough #and i was ??? YEAH?????? FOR KH? theres like ten girls and ten games what more do i get to work with #and she sat there listing games in the series (she hasn't played any but she watched me play 1 and 2)#and counted eight and then i listed some more and she was like ok you know what thats fair #but that said she said the funniest thing ever that i NEED to draw but its too late for tonight #so you guys will get more of them at some point #also im still amused that luxord in kh3 appears after demyx says hes benched #and proceeds to say WELL AT LEAST I WASNT BENCHED like super casually and demyx just ouch you were listening thats rude #like they're supposed to be vessels and yet they still manage to have a bicker moment over importance of roles

76 notes · View notes

llitchilitchi · 17 days

Text

I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

#litchi.txt #there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad!#but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy #despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media #imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems #because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics #sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting #I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay #even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor #even if it means replacing one dictator with another #because its still a game #a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today #and they are important to talk about!! in real world!!#but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem.#idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games #are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.'#'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding'#like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly #and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS #it doesnt count??? I guess???

26 notes · View notes

thatsitso · 1 year

Text

Yes I finally watched Trigun

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #trigun fanart #vash #my art #my #art #drawing #sketch #fanart #I should have started it earlier tho so I could experience it week by week the fandom is so fun #but I'll be there for the finale at least ehe #and yeah I really liked it!#there were some meh things but overall I really enjoyed ittt #like the main conflict between the humans and the plants was kinda typical #and the villain brother doesn't have a really interesting personality or reasonings #or characters like Rollo that just came out of blue and they're somehow connected and we just get a two minute flashback and like 🤨#how am I supposed to feel anything about them like I see he's super important to Vash and the other guy to Wolfwood but ueh idrk #that was executed badly imo #but despite that it was great like seeing the backstories and finding out who Vash is and stuff that was really engaging #I like #and the fandom is so good hshs #also now I'm really curious about the original I think these bad things were better there so I'm planning to read the manga later #yea that's it byee

152 notes · View notes

puhpandas · 5 months

Text

Veering Off Course

(2,305 words)

Gregory and his family get a call that Vanessa, whos in a different state for college, has gotten hurt. Gregory calls Evan, and Evan is able to use the things he's learned about himself since meeting Gregory to help his friend with his emotions regarding the situation.

Its early in the morning on a Saturday when Evan gets the call. It woke him up, so all he does is blink groggily and swipe at the screen blindly while propped up on his elbow until his thumb hits 'answer' on his phone. "Hello?"

"Evan." It's Gregory, and the serious tone to just that single word clears up Evan's brain as fast as lightning. He scrambles to prop himself into sitting up and rubs at his eyes with one hand.

"Gregory?" Evan asks, looking at the little icon he set for Gregory's contact of a picture of Evan and him at an amusement park. "Is everything okay?"

It takes a second for Gregory to respond, and it causes the anxiety that had steadily began to bubble inside of him to surge. "Gregory?"

"Sorry." Gregory finally answers. "I-- Uh... can you..." His friend struggles for words, and Evan tries to be as patient as possible as it becomes clearer every second something is wrong. "Can you come over? Like right now?"

Evan flounders for words for a second, but manages to force his mouth to say, "Of course."

"Okay." Gregory replies, and a surge of worry shoots through his chest when Gregory sounds like he might cry. He takes a breath on the other end, then, "Please hurry."

After that, Evan only lingers enough to respond with a short confirmation and goodbye before hanging up the phone. It takes him record time to shoot out of bed, sling on some shoes, and get down the street a few houses to Gregory's own.

His mind had played multiple awful scenarios of what terrible thing could have happened the entire time, but his worry does not ebb when he makes it to the porch and knocks on the door to a teary eyed Gregory.

Evan's immediately herded inside. Freddy has his phone in his hand pressed up against his ear, and he's pacing around the room. Aunt Chica and Aunt Roxy sit in the living room. Bonnie is sat in a dragged-over dining chair by Freddy and frowning.

It's dead silent in the house; even the TV and seemingly endless energy flowing through and causing bustling noise is snuffed out to nothing. Evan watches as everyone sits completely seriously and quiet, hands held in their lap or thrumming against something.

Impatience, is what Evan first thinks of. They're waiting for something. News, maybe? Freddy is on the phone. It's so silent you could hear a pin drop. Or somebody else's phone vibrate.

Evan's dread and anxiety only get worse when Gregory shuts the door behind him and tugs on him a bit. Evan follows without struggle, thousands of words and questions on his tongue when Gregory leads him to one of the unoccupied seats in the living room; a loveseat.

He sits down with him, and Gregory's face is scrunched up in barely restrained worry. Evan watches his friend, who's been an anchor for himself for so long, tremble and hunch in on himself. "Gregory?"

Gregory's eyes dart to him, and Evan leans down, hunching forward with his elbows rested on his thighs like theyre their own personal bubble. Evan's own brows furrow, and he feels the familiar thickness in his throat just at watching his friend be upset.

Evan grabs at his hand, squeezing it tight and lacing their fingers together. "I'm really worried, Gregory... please tell me whats wrong." Evan pleads. "Please?"

Gregory nods unsurely after a moment, and Evan watches him swallow thickly before turning to him fully. "Dad got a call from the University of Oregon today."

Evan's brows raise, but he nods to keep going. The University of Oregon is the college Gregory's sister, Vanessa, had left home to go attend. Evan hasnt gotten the chance to meet her, yet. She's already been gone two years strong, with a seemingly bright future. Evan's heard Gregory and his family talk about her enough to know her talents.

Gregory's breath hitches, and Evan wraps his other hand around Gregory's, the one he already has ahold of. He sandwiches it in-between his own and hopes it's enough comfort.

"Somebody called us and told us Vanessa got into a car crash today. On campus."

It's like a bucket of ice water is poured on Evan's head. His feet go cold, and his eyes widen to saucers. Fear shoots like an arrow through his stomach. When he stops reeling from the news, he watches Gregory begin to shake and lose the carefully gathered composure he'd put up since Evan arrived.

"They said..." Gregory's brows are furrowed so much it looks like it hurts. Theres a clench in his jaw and a wetness to his eyes Evan isnt used to. "They said she's already been taken to the hospital and is in surgery." He frowns, and theres a twist in his lip that Evan is so familiar with. "They... a-all we can do is wait. They told us they'd let us know any updates."

The house is thrown back into such jarring silence after Gregory stops talking that Evan's ears start ringing. Which makes it clear as day when Gregory's breath turns harsh beside him.

Evan tears his eyes away from the floor and ignores the twisting feeling in his chest to look at his friend. He has his face buried in the hand that isnt held by Evan and is shaking in a way where you can tell theyre trying so hard to keep it together. Gregory's angled away from him, but Evan can see the panic on his face even from where he can see.

Evan's breath hitches, and the thickness in his throat begins to turn into burning as he scootches closer to Gregory on the couch and sets a hand on his shoulder. He tugs a bit until Gregory gets the message and let's him wrap his arms around his middle and hold him close.

Gregory makes some sort of horrible, upsetting hitching noise that causes the dam to break for Evan, before he sort of flops against him and brings up his own arms to clutch at his T-Shirt. Gregory's head thumps against his shoulder, and it's one of the only times Evan really becomes aware of the height he has on his friend.

"Its okay..." Evan says into Gregory's shoulder, because it's all he knows to do in the moment. He glances around and sees that Gregory's family has shifted to the dining room, leaving them alone. Evan finally feels the tears slip from his eyes as he presses closer, hugging him like his life depends on it. "Its okay, Gregory. It'll be okay."

"It's--" Gregory says, and Evan can hear how much his voice shakes with barely contained tears. "Its not. I can't-- We can't even go see her. We can't go and wait for her to wake up, or anything... we just have to--" He cuts himself off, and Evan feels Gregory shake harshly against him.

"We just have to sit here." Gregory says, voice thick. "I dont know what to do, Evan. I don't know what to do."

And its only that sentence that causes Evan to grapple at what to do, if his friend can't. And all he can think about is how himself would react if it were Gregory getting hurt.

All he'd be able to do is cry, he realizes. He wouldnt be able to do anything. Just wait and be scared.

But that's what Gregory is getting at, isnt he? He can't do anything. That's the thing. Evan has known Gregory long enough to get him. To know, him. Evan knows that Gregory doesnt sit around and cry like Evan does. He prefers to get up and do something about whatevers wrong.

Hes a problem solver instead of waiting around. A fighter instead of a crier. No wonder hes so bent out of shape about this. To have a loved one in danger, and when you're so used to getting up and making a plan to fix a problem and are forced to sit in standby...

Evan eases them down against the cushion of the couch, not once untangling themselves from eachother. Gregory shakes, but he does not cry. "So what would you do if you could?"

The hair from Gregory's bangs brushes against Gregory's neck as he moves his head. "I'd... I don't know. I'd at least try to get to her." Gregory says, voice unbelievably quiet. "At least get to her. Then figure it out from there. Just so I'm not waiting on phone calls."

Evan nods against him, his chin scrunching up Gregory's hair. His tears have long since stopped falling, but he knows he has dry tracks on his cheeks. "You have a plan."

Gregory makes some sort of noise that would sound like a snort in any other circumstances. "I would if I could." Gregory replies, squeezing his arms a bit tighter. "But I cant" He sighs, shuddering and heavy. "I just have to wait."

Evan hums. "You're worried, and you're stressed." He makes the same noise Gregory just did. "I know how you feel... I really do. Maybe not your exact situation, but... I get what it's like to feel helpless." He says. "You know what I would do?"

Gregory hums this time, questionative. Evan rubs circles into his back. "I'd sit there and wait, and wish for it to different. And when it wouldnt be, I'd cry."

Gregorys head shifts against that crook between Evan's chin and chest, almost like hes trying to look him in the eye but the hug prevents him from being able.

"All I ever did was cry." Evan says when Gregory doesnt respond. "Its the only thing that I could do to cope."

"...So..." Gregory asks, and his voice is thick again. "You mean..."

"You're stressed." Evan answers. "You're stressed and you're worried. So... why dont you let it out?"

Evan, out of anyone, knows how valuable emotions can be. He didnt, once upon a time. When everyone would just tell him how annoying it is. How useless it is. How he's asking for it. How he should have toughened up by now. When instead of comfort, he'd receive ridicule and prodding.

That's changed. Ever since a certain someone entered his life. He doesn't think of his emotions, himself so little anymore. So worthless. So maybe that's why Gregory perks up ever so slightly in understanding.

And that's all it takes.

Gregory's trembling turns into shoulder shaking sobs like the snap of a finger. He cries, open and unadulterated, and Evan just hugs him close and rubs his back, offering reassurances like Gregory has done for him so many times.

His own eyes burn when his best friends sobs are heard so openly and he can feel every shudder of his body. Evan's chin scrunches, and the tears fall right along with Gregory as Evan hugs him close, tucking his face into his hair.

"Im--" Gregory cries. "I-Im just so worried about her."

"I know." Evan responds, his own voice breaking as he pets Gregory's hair. His shirt is damp with tears but he doesnt care. "Itll be okay. It'll all be okay."

They stay like that for a while, and Evan can tell Gregory needs it. He needs it. The worry he felt that morning doesnt ever really leave, and it stays ever-present as Evan watches his friend fall apart. They stay stuck together like magnets, eventually only shoulder to shoulder with linked hands on the loveseat, and none of Gregory's family try to peel them apart when they eventually wander back into the living room.

They stay in a state of constant agonizing limbo all day. At 8:00pm, Freddy calls it a night. Gregory protests immediately, but Aunt Roxy calms him down almost seamlessly and convinces him to go to bed.

Of course, Evan follows him. He cant imagine a world where he doesnt. The air mattress stays deflated in Gregory's closet as it has been most of the time nowadays. All Evan has to do is kick his shoes off since he left home in his pajamas anyway and they're wrapped around eachother, tucked in Gregory's bed under his comforter in the dark.

Gregory is silent all throughout the night, even though Evan knows he's awake. Evan just hopes that... he did the right thing. Something knows is that suppressing how you feel isnt good. It never works. No matter how much you want it to.

Gregory taught him that. He just wants to return the favor. Not because he owes Gregory, no. Gregory has long since hammered it into Evan's thick skull that he has nothing to pay him back for. That his kindness is not a deed to Evan, but rather that Evan himself deserves to be treated kindly.

Gregory does, too. Evan knows this with all his heart. Gregory is his best friend and has done more for him than anyone else ever has.

Evan... all Evan did was change. Change for the better. And hopefully he helped the most important person in his life with the things he learned. The things that person taught him.

He hugs Gregory's middle a little tighter, not daring to break the silence. Gregory needs time, but doesn't want to be alone. Evan understands. He does. He just hopes to convey what he truly feels through the one action.

Thank you. I'm here for you. I'll always be here. You're my best friend. I'm so glad you trust me. I trust you as well. So much.

Gregory himself wraps his arms tighter around Evan in turn, and Evan feels like the single movement lso has a deeper meaning he cant read.

They dont speak. They just lay in silence until eventually they fall asleep, stuck together like two puzzle pieces.

ao3 link

#this oneshot is mostly just to focus more on gregorys character and how i imagine him (not headcanon #his actual canon character) to handle problems.#ive always seen gregory as instead of letting fear/emotions take over #he pushes past to get a task done/fix whatevers wrong. so i wanted to translate that into the flashlight duo universe with the emotional/pr #especially because of how important emotions are to evans growth and how gregory is the reason for that growth #and i also just wanted to finally write a bit of evan helping gregory since ive written so much vice versa.#i needed something for gregory to be super worried over and well. this universe is already family centric. poor vanessa.#its a normal ass world okay theres not much i can do #vanessa is okay btw.#the next day theyre supposed to get news about surgery and recovery and plan to go on a road trip to oregon to see her while she recovers #(i actually already wrote some of it but cut it out because i didnt like where it was going.#just veered (ha) too far away from the core of the fic)#so you can imagine that happening.#anyways hope you enjoyed! still need a better idea to showcase evan helping gregory but i think this is okay for now.#i have some other plans for this duo (as always) having to do with love languages so im excited about that.#lets see how long itll take me to actually write it lol #pandas writes #my fics #flashlight duo #flashlight duo oneshots #gregory #evan #the fazbears #oneshot #kinda feel like this is cringe #but whatever im cringe and im free two cakes etc #not my favorite work ive done but whatever #its okay

36 notes · View notes

lyss-butterscotch · 8 months

Text

Lyss be stressed over college because i over think things before even starting! Feat. College explaining important decision AFTER asking me to make said important decision

#i take a shot #everytime college asks me to make an important decision #and giving explanation about the decision AFTER asking for said decision #like come on #you dont expect INFO ABOUT THE FINAL THESIS #be spread to students through WORD OF MOUTH ALONE #did you #sorry yall im super stressed and worried #ya know over potentially spending more on extra semesters to finish shit #this counts as vent i think #vent #because jesus christ what am i supposed to do #lyssten to my rambles

47 notes · View notes

quirinah · 2 months

Text

intuition

#忍たま乱太郎 #HAPPY RAIZOU DAY (i have ten minutes to post)#nintama #nintama rantarou #rkrn #fuwa raizou #quirinahdraws #digital #SORRY im obsessed with this arc its so so good (s21e37-39? i think)#ZATTO FEATURE??? SOUNIN?? GOJYOU DAN??? RAIZOU COOL ARC?? MAIN TRIO? SHENANIGANS? WOWZAAA #i think amako made a comment once about how raizou has a lot of potential. or how the intuition skill he was trying to develop this episode #is super key. but i love thinking about raizou....i believe in his shounen protag training arc. i want to see him become an awesome six yea #fun fact this drawing is supposed to be matchy matchy with my saburou drawing from last august but the different in style ERM #asmr i smack colors around on the canvas for three straight hours #my evil twisted wish for a raizou episode is i get to see him and koheita interact bc i think theyre great maybe unintentional? parallels #koheitas very intuitive and i think hes actually really good at reading important things subconsciously. seeing thru the disguised senzou i #the 5th v 6th years arc splitting a rock in two maybe the sports comp where he figures out the clue for the scavenger hunt but hes also #kind of smart in general. but hes also really good at disregarding detail that isnt immediately relevant so hes hard to keep up with #but raizous super attentive which kind of paralyzes him decision wise but he figures out how to put that to advantage? im not great at this #i made him a page of mind for a reason. he has potential!! also i love sounin....

20 notes · View notes

faggyangel · 5 months

Text

okay i get it but i also think its important to acknowledge that there is a difference between knowing from an audience standpoint that a character should be queer VS it firmly being acknowledged verbally within the narrative as a solid aspect of that character's identity irrefutably

#this reminds me of keeley jones from ted lasso like i get it shes “always” been bisexual but its so hard to tell if the writer is being #sincere in their representation or not #people joke about queerness bc haha lol look a gay person or look hot super model slept with woman #in keeley's case it was literally a joke intended to shock rebecca like that is not confirmation that is a joke the writer is making #it needs to be said or expressed in a way that is outside of a throwaway haha gotcha joke #the doctor has been kissed by men and kissed men in moments of celebration and theyve been laughed off #hes made comments that the audience is SUPPOSED TO think are jokes. queer audiences just see past that and straight audiences dont #its important that it was not only said but talked about even if it was in passing. it wasnt a punchline or the set up for a joke #donna comments that a man is hot > the doctor agrees enthusiastically that the man was really hot >#they both acknowledge the doctors attraction to men and his openness about it > donna says it was always obvious #its not about creating his queerness its always been there its about finally being in a place to say it out loud #from a narrative standpoint you could say now he's the kind of person who talks openly about his attraction and feelings #from an audience standpoint i hope we can acknowledge that its bc they couldnt outright say he was bisexual/lesbian/queer/trans/nombinary #now they can #thats the difference i think #doctor who

16 notes · View notes

superbellsubways · 20 days

Text

i wanna draw something important to my oc lore but everytime i make an attempt it just. doesnt feel special enough. i dont know how to portray this very specific thing. I have thought about it for months. i will die

#ive been struggling to draw rhis one thing And an important character.#I should probably get the character done first but ughhhhhhh i still dont know exactly how i want them to look. and their personality #which is funny cuz theyre literally supposed to be super important to this whole thing BUT MY BRAIN DOESNT WANNA WORK #im gonna be sick #💀#i cant even talk about what they are either bc i dont wanna spoil things to my own ocs Yea im a loser #ummmmm balls

14 notes · View notes

oldestenemy · 9 months

Text

Thinking about Duncan Grimwater again.

Thinking about the wizard letting that fight play out.

About letting him win, landing in the commons, and using dungeon recall to go back, showing up behind him.

Thinking about "Did you really think with everything I've been through, that I would go down that easily?"

#anyways wizard losing it for a second over Duncan's very clear jealousy over their perceived 'status' and 'importance'#and going off on him about it. and basically going 'you want to be me? then finish it. no more pulling punches. kill me.'#wizard101 #anyways the scion series is going very well very good super great #duncan grimwater #for as kind as the wizard is i think it is very easy for those around them to forget that they committed murder at age 14?#this is not a pacifist child this is an exhausted young adult by now who has had more ripped away from them than most people have by age 80 #hell even as a CHILD they weren't a pacifist #this single kid has been carving their way through the spiral since age 12 and is not about to stop just because someone else thinks they-#get special treatement. not when that supposed special treatment is the thing traumatizing them to hell and back #lark is still playing funky wizard game from their childhood

22 notes · View notes

lonelyquail · 9 months

Text

ok so while my ds is getting sand poured into it at alarming rates I'm thinking about how jrpgs in specific have a really weird desync with How Important Death Is. like some address it better than others but it very frequently happens where if you take a step back youll go "am I wild or is everybody just like, Really down with murder in this game". and consequences for said murder, especially in a characterization sense but even just actual physical consequences, don't really happen? unless it's a vehicle for conflict but like. when it is a vehicle for conflict it feels weird because why are These Guys actually taking the fact we killed somebody in broad daylight seriously and coming after us for it while all the other npcs and even the main party took it like it was another saturday evening

see I Think where the issue lies is in the fact that everything is in its own little world when you're in a battle? like. when you fight an enemy and you get leather out of it it's seen as something the enemy Drops and not. their hide. when you defeat a character in a battle it does just feel like you Defeated them. unless there's dialogue afterwards that says otherwise you don't even mentally assume you killed em you just wounded them enough to make them flee or dissolve or whatever. and it's Weird to just. have that assumption there because for a lot of games it really isn't clear if you're killing them or defeating them !!

that last point is extra important when you have the specific brand of Skittish Hero / Noble Hero Who Doesn't Kill People / Rational Hero In Way Over Their Head or whatever where you really don't think they Would kill a guy just to get them out of the way. in that case it's REALLY weird because it's hardly brought up. even if it Is brought up that that guy Sure Did Die the mc doesn't tend to actually have a reaction ??? and I don't know why this is ???? like Any written reaction would be more interesting than nothing even if the guy doesn't have a full on crisis about taking another life having them go "oh shit, The Consequences" would be nice. really anything except (oh cool we can advance the plot now).

I will also mention that Some deaths do matter plot wise but very frequently what makes them matter is how much of it is linked to an in game battle I think. if your mc just finishes a fight and comes back to the overworld and the guy's Disappeared or Dissolved or whatever it means they don't matter. if the guy's still around after the fight it means it's more significant, especially if they're still alive but wounded or Really Shaken Up. because this clears up the indistinguishable line between if a battle is lethal or not and if a character decides to deal a finishing blow now it's Way more telling of their character. even though this is basically the same thing that happened in the (killed In A Battle) scenario. just with more dialogue. I will also mention that the person who deals the finishing blow is Rarely Ever that good hearted protagonist and often they'll even go :0 at somebody else committing a murder despite them instigating and helping murder quite a few people. just. In Battle. so it's less bad. I guess.

this is leaving out the fact that in party deaths are often a Major Major Blow because like. ok that's fair. that's A Guy You Knew that's understandable. anyway I don't really know where I'm going with this I just think it's interesting how in these types of games death can swap from not mattering at all to mattering a Lot and if u don't think about it too hard u don't even question it. I'll probably be putting some examples in the tags idk

#i will note that in this specific instance most of my party Is actually super down with murder like vocally #so its less weird but it Is weird that the mc does. Not Seem The Type.#i mean not to say he should have tried to spare everybody i think its kinda neat that he doesnt but #if the fact that he doesnt was brought up at all thatd be interesting. have him acknowledge he killed a dude #but no hes just kind of standing there like (ok what next) no leaning one way or another #these would all be interesting reactions if they were actually Brought Up in dialogue but no its just. oversight #anyway this is about sand but ive also felt this about live a live and even bits of twewy #like specifically in lal the fact that the edo chapter Exists and killing people is just Battling Them made me look at Every Other Chapter #thru a lens of (okay am. am i killing these dudes.) and the answer is I DUNNO #like the guy exploded into a cloud of mist theres no way hes Not dead but its STRANGE #this felt most noticeable in the imperial china and present day chapters because they had mcs who decidedly did not feel down with murder #specifically present day because masaru is fighting this guy for the crime of killing a guys. and woa. he killed a guys. with his Hands #i think theres only a handful of deaths in lal that actually mean anything and you can tell which they are because they dont explode #like in You Know The Part with The Character I Cant Say that guys i think the only time defeating an enemy Leaves A Corpse #ok actually thats a lie the Other Guy I Cant Say in The Chapter Before That also died like that and that was equally important #s also worth mentioning that said first guy can ? also die without leaving a corpse? just turn to ash??#depending on where u go with him. which is weird right. thats weird right.#maybe that just means (hey youre not supposed to feel bad about him dying this tiiiime)#anyway its 5 am ill post this in the morning #vee shut up

32 notes · View notes

charlesemersonwinchesteriii · 1 year

Text

The thing about Charles that most enrages me, vis-à-vis his plotlines and development, is that his crimes and his punishments are mostly entirely disconnected. He gets comeuppances all the time, but only occasionally are they a consequence of him being Bad, as opposed to just being annoying—or, sometimes, just being an easy target. And then sometimes he does or says something utterly heinous and the narrative gives him nothing but a slap on the wrist. Hawkeye and BJ (and sometimes the entire camp!) will torment him for minor, petty things, like destroying his French horn because he was bad at playing it. But the things he said to Margaret in the supply room in Mail Call Three were so vile that the scene is usually cut from syndicated airings. And what does he get for it? She jabs him with an elbow and pushes him out of the room and then nothing bad happens to him for the entire rest of the episode.

I have a whole half-written essay on the utterly nonsensical way Charles’ bigotry is portrayed on the show—the way it had to be portrayed, really, in order to make the character function—but this is the single worst result of that whole mess, to me. Because this mismatch between actions and consequences affects all the other characters, too. If Hawkeye, and by extension the narrative itself, gets angrier at Charles for snoring than for yelling about keeping his family’s bloodline pure (not to mention being racist against Max—you know, Hawkeye’s supposed fucking friend?), then that says something about both the protagonist and the show. Something extremely unflattering, to put it lightly.

#but then again everyone is racist to Max in late seasons so I guess we're not supposed to care :))))))))))))))))#Charles Emerson Winchester III #MASH #MASH TV #Disclaimers: Obviously I neither need nor expect a didactic 1-to-1 karmic correspondence from these plots.#But it's so annoying that late seasons are called preachy when they seem to mostly lack any moral backbone at all #at least on every issue except feminism. (Thank you Ms. Alan ''Honorary Woman'' Alda!! <3)#Also not to say there was said karmic correspondence with Frank either exactly; but it wasn't important that there be one #because Frank was constantly awful so he was constantly dunked on. A strawman punching bag to hit as much as you like.#Charles gets punched all the time but it never feels like our hero Super-Hawkeye standing up to a bully. Even though it SHOULD.#Sometimes in spite of Charles' myriad privileges #it feels like Hawkeye et al. are punching DOWN.#Which they are NOT! And YET!#Starky's Original Posts #Starky's text posts #unlike those other posts which were filthy woobification THIS post is hashtag Charles Critical #so it can go in the main tag

74 notes · View notes

katierosefun · 1 year

Text

making original characters and watching them grow is so cool and also so funny because i really thought one of my original characters was bisexual but then i realize no. no he’s gay. he’s gay. this other character? i thought that she was straight. she is bisexual now because no straight woman looks at another pretty woman like that. one of my characters has barged into my room and gone, “btw. my mentor figure has a weird ass relationship with the diner owner btw. yeah i think they’re lovers.” and i’m just. “he couldn’t tell me that himself?” and this other character goes, “no. i’m just telling u for him. because you know he won’t tell you himself.” and that’s just. that’s just how it be

#caroline talks #writing . .. . original characters is fascinating and i love it #but also every once in a while i'm like ' . .. . hey why are you now an important character'#one of my original character's sudden love interest who i initially wrote as a joke of a bad coworker: idk. your main lead man is in love #with me though.#me: but why. he's supposed to hate you. he thinks you're annoying #this random oc who REALLY wasn't supposed to be important: idk :) he must find my annoyingness endearing deep down #me turning on that other oc who i thought was bi but apparently is now gay and pining after his goddamn cubicle buddy: .. . . DUDE #and then. in the other side of the story #one of my original characters is actively knocking on my door and going 'btw. tristian is in love with nathan. i think it's real and it's #not just a joke this time'#me: what.#her: yeah it's supposed to be super tragic btw. it'll be tristian's one (1) redeeming factor. that he's in love with someone he won't ever #be able to have. it's all about love. or whatever. bye.#me: . .. . WHAT!!!! WHAT!!!! WHAT !!!!#and maybe this all sounds cringe but also #sometimes. i don't feel like a writer when it comes to original stories #i feel like a scribe because my characters will just bang through the doors #and go 'yeah no. i wouldn't say that'#me: then what would you say #them: . . . . well. not that #rainbow rowell actually has a brilliant short story that plays with this idea #and i. like. yeah no. yeah.

26 notes · View notes

heart-shaped-pupa · 10 months

Text

People are so right that pact conspicuously ignores the gender and sexuality of the original, but like, it really cares a /lot/ about the sexuality and gender of blake and rose.

Hell the text is even interested in talking about gender dysphoria, even though i imagine wildbow wouldnt use that kind of language to talk about it. Usually in the form of a failure to meet expectations, both from within and without.

Both of them are in large parts defined by their desire to look, act, and be considered a certain way, and are unable to by their fundamental nature or the violence of the world. Lots of the time this friction and frustration comes to the forefront, its in a gendered way, like Blake and shaving, Rose and clothing, Blake and physical intimacy, Rose and emotional intimacy. In fact, when Rose complains most directly about her inability to behave “properly” vis a vis Alister, she ties it to her fakeness as a girl, and says that “The memories in her head were of dating girls, but Blake hadn’t been so kind, or so unkind, as to give her the attraction or anything like that.”

As well like, the whole process of splitting Rusty into two pieces is /extremely/ gendered, in a way that the other barbered creatures we see generally aren’t. Blake is turned into an embodiment of many classically masculine ideals, being a strong willed agent of direct, immediate, violent action, while Rose is an embodiment of feminine ideals of subtlety, intelligence, responsibility, and family. (This divide is reflected in most of the Thorburns, tbh, with the classic wildbow gender move of making the women generally more complicated, effective, and scary than the “normal” men, also shown w eva and andy) Time and time again, the expectations and pressures of family (and magic) are tied into performing your gender. (And through that, your sexuality)

And yet, because of how the barber works, both halves chafe HARD against the traits they are left with. They’re painfully envious of each other, for one. Beyond that, however, they both fight against their roles. Blake tries over and over and fails to be calmer, be cooperative, not behave bogeyman-ish-ly, and so on. Rose fights to make herself more active, takes on the spirit of Conquest in order to like, embody patriarchal hegemony in a very real way. We see much less of Rose’s mind, bc we’re in Blakes head, but she clearly chafes against and is resistant to her nature just the same. But, both of them are stopped by their nature and the world around them from behaving how they would like. The expectations win out against their self determinations. They cant access the parts of gender they want, nor escape the parts theyd like to avoid.

Ppl talking about the tragedy of reading the ending as a de transitioning are so so right, but i think it applies to Rose too.

#i suppose i should start tagging pact spoilers given theres a notable pact read happening #pact spoilers #lakesbian dont read #<- get it its like how lakesbian’s spoiler tag looks #this isnt super organized but i just woke up pretty much #im not super far in my reread but im looking out for this kinda stuff as i go #its like #this doesn’t even touch how important sexuality and being out of control of sexuality is in the plot

18 notes · View notes