#i swear I did like 4 hours back and I've never freaked out more

[urfavstargirl1]

Show Me What You've Got - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Part 3 to the series Chemistry, Part 2

stranger things masterlist | Spotify playlist link

summary: It's Y/N and Eddie's last night working on their assignment. After a bad day at school, the two end up studying at Eddie's place. By the end of the night, the two finish their assignment, guitar playing from Y/N and Eddie ensue, heart's are opened, and Y/N's gives Eddie a surprise goodbye.

cw: yearning, angst, fluff, era-appropriate racism/sexism (optional latina!reader insert w/ minor references), hurt/comfort, shy/nerdy!reader, pre-ST4, cocky!Eddie, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, swearing

a/n: theres many so here goes:

1. This was meant to be a filler chapter but ended up being the longest one I've ever written lmao so buckle up because a lot happens 2. I realize it's highly improbable a student like Eddie and a straight A student like Y/N would be in the same class or in a chemistry class for their senior year, but for the sake of this story, let’s ~pretend~. 3. Also for any of my astrology baddies, I'm big time convinced Eddie has a pisces placement. I’m thinking maybe sagittarius sun pisces moon and Y/N is very much influenced by me and my virgo moon so i feel like this chapter (this whole series) really exemplifies that opposition/synastry lol. 4. get ready for hella yearning, teasing, flirting, hurt, comfort, and just all the cuteness

On the way home from Y/N’s house, Eddie’s mind and heart are racing. Instead of focusing on the road before him, his mind wanders to the nervous look on Y/N’s face or the adorable quiver in her lip.

When he gets to the trailer, the lights are off and his uncle’s car is nowhere to be seen. He unlocks the door and enters the dark space. He flicks on the light and trudges to his room where he flops on the bed and looks up at the ceiling fan. 

He folds his hands behind his head and sighs. “Goddamn it Y/N, what are you doing to me,” he wonders aloud. 

He turns over to his bedside table and rummages through the drawer. He pulls out one of his premade joints and a lighter. He props himself up on his elbows and lights it. He takes a puff and draws a long inhale. He exhales a cloud of smoke and a tension in his shoulders dissipates. His heart, however, is still pounding loudly in his chest from the moment that just transpired: he had asked Y/N, sweet, innocent, beautiful Y/N, if she’d ever had sex before.

 Why did he even ask her that? Well, in the moment, it felt like the right thing to say, but now, he worries he might’ve taken things too far.

It’s not like it’s his responsibility to help her explore something as personal as her sensuality, but she just looked so lost and confused. Like she was completely in the dark and the only person who had ever shone a light on the subject was him. 

He wouldn’t be surprised if sex was another thing on the list of forbidden fruits her parents ordained on her, but he at least expected her to have some sort of girlish curiosity about it, not just avoid the subject completely.

Regardless, it was obvious she had never had sex before, but despite the fact that she was clearly embarrassed about it, she never denied it. He knows for a fact that anybody else would have and made up some story to pretend like they had, but she didn’t and that was refreshing to him.

By the end of the night, he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t regret what happened, but he knows that he needs to be careful. He doesn’t want Y/N to think he’s more of a freak than he already is. They’ve only known each other for a matter of days and he’s already managed to screw things up: that’s a record. 

In a way, he’s grateful they won’t meet up tomorrow. The afforded time and space might grant him a shred of dignity back. And yet, he feels like it’ll be too long. As he takes another puff of his joint, he begins to count down the far too many hours before he’ll see her again. 

—- 

The next morning, Y/N wakes up with very little recollection of the night before.

Like any other life altering moment, it kept her up into the night just replaying it, thinking about it, and overthinking about it.

But in the morning, she’s not fully awake enough to remember it just yet. As she opens the blinds to her room and adjusts to the day ahead, she’s reminded of the to-do list full of assignments, activities, and tasks that’ll keep her brain occupied for a while. 

The thought of Eddie finally comes to her as she stands face to face with her closet. She forgot to prepare an outfit the night before and is tasked with choosing one now. It should be a simple enough task. There’s a few outfit combinations in her wardrobe that are tried and true, but a certain pesky thought stops her in her tracks before she can even select one.

What would Eddie think?

Y/N wonders what Eddie would think of any of the outfit choices she has. Would he think this outfit is too dorky? Would he think that outfit is cool? Would he think she looked pretty in whatever it is that she wears? 

Y/N shakes her head as if she could physically remove the thought that way. 

She convinces herself that it doesn’t even matter how she looks because she won’t even be spending time with him after school today. But then she realizes that it doesn’t mean she won’t see him at all.

During class, she’ll have to tell him that they’ll have to meet at 4:30 tomorrow instead because she has an appointment with her guidance counselor after school. 

It’ll only be a five minute conversation, so why base a whole outfit for the day based on a brief interaction, especially with a boy she has no business wanting to impress? 

And yet, she finds herself wanting to look good, for him. 

The realization makes her want to crawl out of her skin. She’s never been so boy crazy as to want to look good for a boy before. She sees that sort of hypnosis in her close friends who have boyfriends. From that moment forward, Y/N promised herself she wouldn’t succumb to that madness, yet here she is now. 

It’s silly to be worrying about this. She has college applications and exams and other, far more important, things to be worrying about. And besides, what's the point of a high school relationship? Not that she’s even imagining a relationship with Eddie, but while she’s on the subject, she reminds herself that they’re futile. 

This time next year, she’ll be away at college, many many miles away from Hawkins. And she can’t make permanent plans based on temporary people, so it’s futile to keep incorporating Eddie into her thoughts like this.

Eddie is just a boy that she has to work on an assignment with. It’s fun working with him, sure, but that’s all he is. Nothing more and nothing less… Right?

—

By the time Thursday rolls around Eddie’s been eagerly anticipating seeing Y/N again. 

If he had a quarter for every glance he stole at Y/N when he thought she wasn’t looking, he could probably buy another guitar by now. 

It’s not enough just to be able to see her in class, looking at her whenever she pushes up her glasses with her index finger or raises her hand and gives the correct answer to whatever problem the teacher presents them with. 

And it's definitely not enough to sneak glances of her at lunch where her friend group sits on the other side of the cafeteria. 

“Eddie,” Dustin waves a hand in his face.

“What?” Eddie snaps out of his daze.

“We’re voting on when to have the next campaign.” Dustin says with frustration.

“Yeah, yeah I’m down for whatever,” Eddie aloofly responds and shoos Dustin away.

Sometimes, if there’s not too many students walking past Y/N and her group of friends, Eddie will see her talking and laughing. And sometimes, he’ll blame it on his imagination, that when he sees Y/N crane her neck a few times, it’s because she too is searching for him across the sea of students. 

As he sees her laugh and smile, he wonders what she talks about. He also wonders what her friends are like. And he wishes he didn’t care, but a small part of him that he tries to bury wonders what they think of him. What would they think of him and Y/N spending so much time together? 

For the rest of the day, thoughts of Y/N consume Eddie’s head, and by the time school lets out, his blood is pumping rapidly in anticipation. 

Eddie lingers a bit with some of the Hellfire boys, but at 4:25 makes sure to promptly make his way to wait for Y/N by the counselor’s office. 

He almost wanted to bring her something. He thought about it a lot and considered bringing her a snack but he doesn’t know what her favorite candy or soda is. 

He also thought about bringing her some wildflowers from the field by the parking lot, but that would be too much. 

He even thought about bringing her one of his guitar picks, but worried she might think it was too weird or personal, or worse, not even care. 

Maybe it’s too soon to be doing any of those things, but he just wants to do something special for Y/N and make up for the weirdness of Tuesday night. 

He decides that maybe the best way to make it up to her would be to be on his best behavior and try his best to finish their assignment on a good note today.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t catch Y/N on quite a good note that afternoon. 

As he excitedly waits for her by the counselors office, he hopes she’ll appreciate his punctuality, but it proves pointless when it’s 4:35 and she’s still not there. 

He looks down the hall and checks the other side but it’s empty. He checks his watch again and frowns. Why is she taking so long? Did he somehow miss her?

Suddenly, the sound of a doorknob turning catches his attention and he sees Y/N sluggishly exiting the door of the guidance counselors office.

“Yeah, you too,” Y/N weakly mumbles over her shoulder before turning her head forward. 

She comes out in a daze, not even seeing Eddie and his wild mane of hair as she walks out the door like a zombie. 

“Y/N,” he wonders aloud in confusion. She walks slowly with her head hung low and doesn’t stop at the sound of his voice.

“Y/N wait up,” Eddie calls after her but she’s too lost in thought to hear. Eddie jogs to catch up to her and plants his feet in front of her. 

He sees a deep scowl on her face and teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. “Y/N are you okay?”

Y/N stops in her tracks and looks up at him, freed from her spiraling thoughts. She breathes deeply and holds herself steady. 

“Is something wrong?”

Y/N shakes her head and looks away. Eddie says her name in an unconvincing way. 

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks and Y/N looks up. She doesn’t say a word with her lips, but her eyes say it all.

Y/N’s chewing on her bottom lip as she contemplates what she should say or do. None of this concerns him and he probably wouldn’t care anyway. This is her problem and her problem alone to deal with.

“You know you can tell me right?” Eddie says reassuringly as he gently places his hand on her shoulder. Y/N slowly looks from his slender fingers gently gripping on the fabric of her shirt to his leather clad arm to the tattoos peeking out from his collar to the pale skin of his neck, the strong set of his jaw, the warmth of his lips, and the sincerity of his big brown eyes.

“I know we haven’t known each other long, but whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Y/N locks eyes with Eddie and she looks back and forth between his irises. A curtain of stone cold blankness crosses her face. She can’t let Eddie see her like this. It’s embarrassing enough what he’s learned about her, but to see her so weak and emotional like this is the last straw.

“Y/N, I get it if you don’t want to talk about it, but you don’t have to deal with this alone, you know? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Y/N lightly gasps under her breath. Can he hear her thoughts? How does he know what she’s feeling, without her even having to say a word? If she weren’t so self-conscious about her composure, she could just cry at his words. 

She doesn’t want to drag this moment out even more than it already has been, so she tries to give him enough of an explanation that he won’t ask questions and they can just move on from this unspeakably uncomfortable and embarrassing moment.

Y/N shakes her head. “It’s nothing. I just had to speak with the counselor and–” she cuts herself off.

Eddie doesn’t say anything at first. He waits for Y/N to continue her sentence, but when she doesn’t, he asks, “Did something happen in there?”

Y/N hesitates, contemplating if she should even say it out loud, let alone to Eddie. The boy is starting to get too close for comfort.

She looks at him and his big brown eyes and feels her chest tighten. The way he looks at her is unlike the way any boy has ever looked at her. There’s a vulnerability in his gaze that she herself can’t even reciprocate. 

Normally, she would just keep something like this to herself, or better yet, pretend like it didn’t even happen, but the concern in his face and worry in his eyes begins to make her feel differently. 

Eddie removes his hand from her shoulder and lets it hang by his side, leaving her feeling cold. “I know you probably think I won’t understand, but… but I can try.” 

Y/N shakes her head. “It’s not that I think you wouldn’t understand Eddie,” Y/N responds, struggling but using every ounce of willpower in her body to maintain eye contact. “In fact, if I think about it, you might be the only one who would understand. I just… I… I don’t know. It feels weird to talk about.”

Eddie exhales and bites his lip as he looks away for a second before looking at Y/N. “Well, can you at least tell me how bad it was?”

“It was kind of bad.”

Eddie frowns. “Were you… hurt, in any way?”

“No, I didn’t get hurt,” Y/N exhales and the right corner of her lip turns up slightly, feeling somewhat relieved at having gotten a fraction of the most discouraging experience she’s ever had off her chest, even if it's to Eddie Munson.

Eddie exhales and a small smile slowly creeps onto his own face. “Good. I guess this means I don’t need to go around beating anybody up for you then, right?”

Y/N looks down and giggles. Eddie beams at her, feeling victorious at having brought a smile to her face.

“No. Not that I even believe violence is the answer, but no. And no offense, but you seem like your bark is much worse than your bite.” Y/N jokes as she starts walking. Eddie follows suit and the two make their way out of the building.

“Believe me, the Hellfire boys and I can do some real damage.”

“Yeah, like I’m entrusting a bunch of nerds to do my fighting. What’s a few matching t-shirts and dice gonna do?”

“Wow, so that’s how it is, huh? And calling us a bunch of nerds as if you yourself aren’t one,” Eddie teases and pinches Y/N’s cheek. Y/N nods with a small smirk and blush tinting her cheeks.

“You wound me, Y/N,” Eddie says and it comes off far more seductively in Y/N’s ears than the sarcasm Eddie likely intended.

When Y/N and Eddie make their way over to his van, Eddie walks Y/N to the passenger side and opens the door for her. Y/N raises a leg up to step into the van, then hesitates and brings it back down. She looks inside the van then back at Eddie who has one hand on the outside door handle and the other pressed flat against the back door. 

Y/N turns around and leans against the car. She exhales and shyly says Eddie’s name. The sound is sweeter than any song Eddie’s ever heard.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks gently. Their corner of the parking lot is empty, with the after school rush having died down which is a privacy Y/N welcomes. 

Seeing Y/N so guarded and unlike herself elicits an inexplicable need in Eddie to protect her. To take care of her. She’s strong on her own, but he wants her to know that she doesn’t always have to be. That she can be weak with him.  

“What happened back there,” Y/N says and jerks her head in the direction of the school building, “was because of something the counselor said to me.”

Eddie looks at her and doesn’t see a sense of fear in her face anymore. Despite this, he still wishes he could touch her. He wants to run his fingers along her arm or hold her in an embrace to comfort her, but he doesn’t want to be too forward or any more forward than he already has been. 

“What did she say?” He tilts his head and looks at her intensely.

“Something…weird… I just don’t understand.” Y/N shakes her head, trying to withstand the intensity of his gaze.

“What is it you don’t understand?”

“Well, she was weird about my college and major choice. I mean, the reason I even went to the guidance counselor today was to review my college application essays with her but we didn’t even get to do that. I sat down and handed them to her and before she even took a look at them, she asked where I was applying to and what I was majoring in. So I told her, you know, my dream school is the University of Chicago and I’m applying to their civil engineering program. I’ve wanted to go there for as long as I can remember.”

Y/N takes a deep breath in and out. Then, in a frustrated manner she rapidly and irritatedly explains the rest of her guidance counselor visit, “And it’s like I know what I like and what I’m good at and where I want to go and how I’m going to get there. All I needed was a second opinion on my essays. But she couldn’t even give me that. As soon as I told her my plan, she said I should set my sights on something a bit more realistic. But what do I need to be realistic about? I didn’t work my ass off to be ranked number three in our class, behind Randy and Lisa, do a million extracurriculars, and try to have stellar essays to be realstic.”

“Wow, she said that to you?”

“Yeah, and that’s not even the worst part. Then she goes on to say that she thinks I should look into the local community college or a state school here in Indiana because a person like me would be lucky to even get into one of those schools, let alone the University of Chicago.”

“A person like you? What does that even mean?” Eddie asks in disgust.

“I don’t know! But she said she wouldn’t even look over my application until I decided to apply to a state school and change my major to something a little bit easier and less intimidating.” 

“What? That’s fucking bullshit,” Eddie huffs angrily and slaps his hand against the car door several inches away from where Y/N’s leaning. The noise and proximity make her jump

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Eddie says as he lightly rubs his hand up and down her arm. “Anyway, what else did she say?” 

“That was it,” Y/N says and Eddie nods. “I just feel so stupid, you know? I mean, next time I’ll just ask my English teacher to look over my essays.”

“Y/N,” Eddie asks, daring to include the phrase, “are you serious?”.

“What?”

“What the counselor said to you was complete and utter bullshit, you have to know that.”

Y/N shrugs while pressing her lips together and holding her breath. If she doesn’t think about it too much, then maybe the tears will go away. 

“She’s wrong about you. You shouldn’t listen to the indoctrination crap she probably gives every other person in this school. You’re meant for more than Hawkins. And you’ll be a badass at engineering, I guarantee it.”

Y/N’s spirit lifts at Eddie’s words, but not as much as it should have. She smiles, but it fades before she whispers in a hurt voice, “But then why would she say that?”

“Because she’s a fucking idiot! An idiot who can’t see that you’re one of the smartest students in this school, hell this town.”

“But Eddie, she’s the guidance counselor.”

“It doesn’t make her right.” He spits.

“What? Why not?” Y/N’s voice cracks as she clutches the door for balance. If she can’t trust the elders in her life, then who can she trust?

“Look Y/N, not every adult in the world is smart or right. In fact, a lot of them are the opposite. Just look at the president, he’s both.” Eddie sneers.

Y/N wrinkles her eyebrows. 

“And they don’t always have your best interest at heart either. Sometimes you have to just take what they say with a grain of salt.”

Y/N nods, eyebrows still furrowed as she makes sense of her words, “I never thought of it like that.”

“Well, you get let down enough times and you start learning the rules of this little thing called life,” Eddie smiles.

“Eddie,” Y/N responds with concern, looking at his bangs lightly blowing in the wind.

“Don’t worry about me, Y/N. Just promise that you won’t listen to what she says.”

“I can, it’s just… How could she say that to a student?”

“ Because she’s just doing her Hawkins High School job of forcing conformity onto you. But you don’t have to do that, you know.” Eddie bends down to follow her downcast line of sight till she looks him in the eye. “You don’t have to be who people want you to be.” 

Y/N scrunches her eyebrows. The realizations are too intense for her. For as long as she could remember, she did what others expected of her.

“You can’t let your guidance counselors, or your teachers, or even your parents continue to tell you who you are or who you should be, Y/N. Only you get to decide who that is.”

Y/N looks away and blinks rapidly as she begins to feel tears form in her eyes. It’s too much too fast. She can only handle so many life altering realizations delivered by none other than Eddie Munson.

She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She looks up at Eddie. 

“Come here,” Eddie says as he rapidly wraps his arms around her and engulfs her in a hug. 

Y/N’s body is frozen in shock. She’s still processing the events of her guidance counselor’s visit and Eddie’s words, but the feeling of Eddie’s tightening arms around her and the tufts of his hair tickling the skin of her cheeks bring her back to reality.

Slowly, she slinks her arms around his middle and presses her cheek against his warm chest. She sniffles and pulls tighter. This kind of affection is foreign to her, but coming from Eddie, it’s more than welcome.

Eddie rests his chin atop her forehead and gently strokes the hair of her ponytail. She breathes him in. The scent of soap, cigarette smoke, and maybe even a bit of cologne fills her nostrils. He smells so good. Has a boy ever smelled this good before?

They hold each other like that for what feels like eternity but is only a few minutes. She almost doesn’t want to let go, but her body betrays her and she pulls away.

“Eddie,” she gently says with furrowed eyebrows.

Eddie looks at her and realizes he just made a big mistake. “I’m sorry, I thought it would help.”

“No, it’s not that. I just… can we get out of here,” Y/N gently asks. 

Eddie sighs in relief and smiles, “Let’s go.” 

When they climb in the car, Eddie looks at her and says, “If you want, you can listen to whatever radio station you like.”

Y/N meekly nods. It’s only car ride number three and he’s already defying his own rules for her. She knows how much it must mean for him to say that so she shyly thanks him and tunes in to her favorite station. 

“When we get to the diner we can get whatever you want and just forget about all the bullshit that is Hawkins High School. Sound good?” Eddie says as he starts the van and pulls out of the parking lot. “Actually,” Y/N responds, “I don’t really feel like going to the diner today.”

“Oh,” Eddie looks from the sides of his eyes, “Where do you want to go?”

“I kind of want to go somewhere quiet. I don’t really feel like being around a lot of people right now.”

Eddie looks at her again, not really sure what she’s asking for. “Did you have anywhere in mind?” 

Eddie’s already on the road, only a few minutes away from the diner, but he’d travel a hundred miles if it meant making Y/N happy.

“No, not really.”

“Uh, we could go back to my place, if that’s alright. My uncle has an early shift today so he should be gone by the time we get there.”

Y/N steps out of her emotions for a second and realizes the gravity of his invitation. She’s being invited to Eddie Munson’s home. She’ll be home alone, with a boy. Just her and Eddie. And Eddie’s room which might eventually enter the mix. Her and Eddie. Alone. In a room. His room. With his bed and-

“Does that sound okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah that’s perfect,” Y/N’s lips answer, betraying her anxious thoughts.

“Okay,” Eddie says as he looks at his fuel gauge, noticing its dangerously close level to empty. “We might have to stop at a gas station real quick. I’m not gonna have enough to make it all the way to my trailer.”

Trailer? Y/N didn’t know Eddie lived in a trailer. It’s not a bad thing, but she’s more surprised than anything to learn this about him. Although, it makes sense if it’s just him and his uncle. She imagines how a house could get too big and too lonely that way.

“Sure thing,” Y/N nods. Somehow, the thought of stopping somewhere familiar like a gas station before delving into the unknown that is Eddie’s personal space feels slightly relieving to Y/N.

After a few minutes, Eddie pulls into the gas station and parks in front of the convenience store. 

“Eddie, I thought-”

“C’mon, let’s get some snacks,” Eddie says and gets out of the van before Y/N has a chance to say anything. 

Y/N follows suit, confused by his direction. She follows him and he opens the door for her to enter. A bell chimes and she walks through to find a landscape of chips, candies, and sodas galore. 

She slowly makes her way to the side and looks to Eddie to lead the way. He looks down at her and says a quick, “C’mon” before strolling to the candy aisle.

“What’s your favorite candy?” Eddie says as his eyes scan the rows of sweets.

“Um, I like Hershey’s chocolate, especially the kind with almonds,” Y/N says softly.

“Ok, Hershey’s chocolate with almonds for you and pop rocks for me,” Eddie reaches out and grabs one of each candy.

“Eddie, but-”

“C’mon, let’s go get some slurpees,” Eddie cheers as he makes his way over to the slurpee machine.

“Eddie,” Y/N calls after him. 

“Which one do you want, blue raspberry or cherry?”

“Um, I’m fine with just my candy,” Y/N shyly says.

“You sure,” Eddie cocks an eyebrow and Y/N nods. 

“If you say so,” he raises his hands in mock defense. 

He leans in and places a flat hand by his mouth and whispers, “But between you and me, if you want some later you can just have some of mine,” he winks.

Y/N blinks in confusion at Eddie. What has gotten into him?

“Think we’ll need anything else before we go?”

“Um, not really,” Y/N shrugs, not expecting him to go on this random massive snack scavenger hunt with her.

“Okay let’s hit the road then,” Eddie says as he skips over to checkout. Y/N and Eddie argue about him paying for her chocolate bar before ultimately just letting him do it.

They exit the store and get into the van. Eddie reparks the car at the closest available pump and gets out of the van. As he stands, waiting for the gas to pump into his van, Y/N sighs and looks out the window. 

A car with an unrecognizable boy driving and girl riding in the passenger seat, pull up to the pump in front of them. The boy says something to the girl before leaning over the console to give her a quick peck on the lips. He gets out of the car and starts pumping gas. The girl looks over and makes eye contact with Y/N. She smiles and Y/N instinctively gives her a shy smile back.

The girl turns to look in Eddie’s direction while Y/N looks in the direction of the girl's boyfriend. The two boys see each other and do a mutual head nod.

Y/N turns over her shoulder and sees Eddie leaned against the van. One arm is fully outstretched with a palm flat against the metal of the vehicle while the other is holding the pump. His brow is furrowed in concentration, eyes cast downward, but when he feels Y/N looking at him, his eyes flick upward and he smirks at her. 

Y/N’s eyes widen and cheeks redden as she rapidly swivels back in her seat. She breathes in through her nostrils, but it feels shallow.

She hears the clanking of the nozzle and shortly after, Eddie climbs back into the van.

“You ready,” he asks with a gleam in his eyes. Y/N sees the couple across from them getting ready to leave too.

“Um,” she looks over at him with a nervous smile, “Yeah.”

“Alright,” he cheerfully exclaims. He puts the gear into drive and backs out of the pumping area. Y/N resists the urge to admire how sinfully good looking he is when he drives or wonder if she and Eddie looked just as much like a couple to the boy and girl from the gas station as they did to her.

For the rest of the journey to Eddie’s trailer, Eddie makes mindless chatter, filling Y/N’s nervous silence beyond that of her favorite radio station. 

“Shh, I love this song,” Y/N interrupts Eddie and raises the volume as When Doves Cry by Prince comes on.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorite Prince songs.”

Eddie briefly looks over at her and asks incredulously, “Really?” 

“Yeah! Probably that and Purple Rain.”

“Hm,” Eddie nods contemplatively.

He hesitates a moment before adding “I know Prince is more of a pop star, but even I can admit, the man is an absolute beast on guitar,” Eddie comments in awe and Y/N giggles. 

“He is! Maybe you should learn how to play a Prince song. Expand your heavy metal horizons and what not.”

Eddie chuckles and looks over at Y/N. “Yeah, maybe I will.”

Y/N nods and notices they’re approaching the trailer park. Eddie drives past a few trailers before pulling up to his own. 

Y/N’s looks around, taking in her surroundings. The spaced out beige paneled trailers are different from the tightly packed red brick homes of her neighborhood. 

Here, many adults are outside hanging wet clothes to dry on a clothesline or sitting and having a beer with their loved ones. In her neighborhood, it’s usually children out on the streets playing or riding their bikes. It’s different, but comforting in the same way.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Eddie greets as he opens the door to the trailer and lets Y/N walk through first. She takes a step in and Eddie follows behind her, turning on the yellow fluorescent light that hums above them. 

She takes in the sight of the kitchen, dining room and living room. The space isn’t big by any means, but it's somehow roomier than she thought it would be. 

She walks further and turns around, taking in the sight of dozens of trucker hats and coffee mugs on the walls and ceiling. 

She looks to the side and notes the worn brown couch in front of the tv with a collection of VHS tapes scattered nearby. She wonders which ones are Eddie’s favorites. What are his favorite movies or tv shows?

The clanking of dishes takes her out of her thoughts and she turns to see Eddie rummaging through the kitchen cupboards.

“Since you despise slurpees for some weird reason–”

“I don’t despise slurpees. They’re fine, just not really my treat of choice.”

“Whatever you say, smarty pants.”

Y/N rolls her eyes. 

“Could I interest you in a crisp refreshing coke,” he says in a jingle voice, “or maybe a cup of stale leftover coffee my uncle probably made before he left?”

Y/N follows Eddie’s voice to the kitchen. She approaches the counter and leans her arms against it. “Um, yes to the coke, no to the coffee.”  

She watches Eddie as he sets a glass on the counter, fills it with ice, and pours a can of Coca Cola over it. “One ice cold coke on the rocks,” Eddie proclaims as he slides the glass over the counter to Y/N as he looks into her eyes and wiggles his eyebrows.

Y/N blushes and looks down, but her hair is pulled back so there’s nothing to hide her embarrassed blush. 

“Thanks,” she gratefully mumbles before turning around and taking a seat at the table. As Eddie serves his own glass, Y/N starts taking out her papers and pencil. 

“Feeling better?” Eddie asks as he sits down across from her. She nods and meekly looks up from her paper to him. “Yeah, thanks for your help Eddie,” she says sweetly. 

Eddie nods. “Sure thing, smarty pants. Wanna get to work then?” Eddie asks as he pulls out his own papers.

“Oh, um, yeah.” Y/N responds, surprised at Eddie’s eagerness to actually focus on their assignment for once. 

She looks down at the papers scattered in front of her. They only have a few more questions to work on till they're done. She can get them done in no time. 

Except this time around, she finds herself more distracted than ever. She’s constantly looking around the trailer or getting lost in some thought completely unrelated to chemistry and 9 times out of 10 related to Eddie. 

At first, she lets her eyes wander to the mug collection she saw earlier and wonders if Eddie had chosen any. Does he even drink coffee? Or tea? He seems like someone who primarily lives on Jack and Coke and the thrill of a heavy metal song. Or maybe they all belong to his uncle. What is he like?

She tries to refocus her attention to the pencil in her hand and the paper in front of her, but the pencil feels too heavy and something inside her buzzes too loudly for her to properly focus on anything. 

She looks back up and sees Eddie deep in concentration. His slender, ring clad fingers wrapped around a pencil. She wonders where he got those rings from or why he even chose to wear them in the first place. They look good on him, no doubt, but it’s rather uncommon for guys to wear rings or things like that. Well, unless you’re Freddie Mercury or David Bowie that is. 

Her gaze trails up to his wild head of hair. His voluminous frizzy waves take over his head and shoulders. She wonders what he ever looked like with short hair. She also wonders what he would look like with his hair in a ponytail or even in braids. She imagines what it would feel like to run her fingers through his hair as she braided it. 

His hair is another one of those things that not many guys could pull off, but on Eddie, it’s totally and utterly attractive.

“Y/N,” Eddie says in a playfully scolding voice still looking down at his paper, “I know I’m looking sexy as hell today, but do you think we could maybe focus on the task at hand?” Eddie looks up at her with a shit eating grin and Y/N tenses up. 

“What? I’m not–I…I am focusing on the task at hand” Y/N scoffs, flustered and red-cheeked. 

“You sure about that sweetheart?” Eddie’s eyebrows raise as his gaze travels to Y/N’s blank paper.

Y/N’s breath gets caught in her throat as she looks down. “Y-yeah I am.”

“You don’t sound too sure,” Eddie replies, cockiness dripping with every word.

Y/N turns her head up and looks Eddie square in the eye, “Well, I am. So, one, tough shit if you don’t believe me, and two, for your information, you’re not even… sexy, so...”

“Oh, Y/N, you’re so cute when you curse.”

Y/N gasps and Eddie leans forward to seductively add, “Even more when you lie.”

“Eddie,” Y/N hisses, flames kissing every inch of her skin. “Stop distracting me so we can finish this assignment.”

“You seem distracted whether or not I say anything, smarty pants.”

“That’s… not true.” Y/N rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her watered down coke before pretending to focus on the question before her. 

She can feel her heart beating loudly in her chest. Can Eddie hear it too?

“Uh huh, sure,” Eddie says sarcastically before returning to his own work. Soon enough, the heat in Y/N’s chest and shame in her features dissipate till the two are silently engrossed in finishing the remainder of their assignment.

With the adrenaline from Eddie’s shameless teasing, Y/N finds the strength to finish the assignment with ease.

“Okay, I’m finished with my part. How are you on yours?” Y/N asks.

“Hold on. I’m almost done with this last question” Eddie says without looking away from the paper as he scribbles out his answer.

Eddie puts his pencil down and looks up at Y/N, “I’m done." 

“We did it!” Y/N cheers and raises her hand up for a high five. Eddie is confused at first, then claps his hand to hers. 

“Yeah,” he forces a smile. 

This isn’t good news. It should be, but it isn’t. This means he won’t have a reason to spend time with Y/N anymore. If he's honest with himself, why else would someone like Y/N hang out with a freak like him. 

He recalls the first day they spent together and the conversation they had after they left the library. He remembers promising Y/N that they would do something fun to celebrate their finished assignment. He doubts Y/N remembers it or actually meant it when she promised it back. 

Part of him wants to bring it up, but it’s a miracle that she’s even here with him now. Maybe he can just make the most of his time left with her now, before it’s over.

Y/N checks her watch, “And it’s only 5:45!”

Eddie looks over his shoulder before turning back to Y/N. “You don’t have to be home till 7:00 right?”

“Yeah!”

“C’mere. I wanna show you something?” Eddie says and gets out of his chair. “Oh, what is it?” Y/N asks innocently.

He leads the way to his room and Y/N cautiously follows. He enters casually while Y/N lingers in the doorway. Eddie begins moving things around and searching for something within his drawers while Y/N scans the room; there’s stuff everywhere. How can someone think or breathe in a room like this? The disorganization makes Y/N yearn for the clean corners and empty edges of her own bedroom.

She takes in the mixture of band and playboy posters hung on the walls. There’s empty cigarette cartons and crushed beer cans on the dresser. It smells faintly of weed and even a bit of aquanet. There’s clothes strewn about across every square inch of the room. 

She refrains from touching anything, feeling like the inside of a museum exhibit of a teenage boys room in 1985.

The chaos makes Y/N feel on edge, but she relaxes as her gaze settles on a weird looking, larger than life, bright red guitar hung on his mirror across from the doorway.

She slowly walks forward, almost entranced by the exquisite instrument. Its edges create a unique shape and the cherry red color is so vibrant. She stands before it and only looks, but her hands are itching to-

“Touch it,” Eddie says from behind and Y/N shrieks. She looks over her shoulder at Eddie standing inches away and clutches the part of her shirt over her chest.

“Holy shit, I didn’t mean to scare you there tiger,” Eddie chuckles and Y/N rolls her eyes. 

“You didn’t… I just could hear you.” Y/N mutters and looks at the hand he effortlessly places on her shoulder.

“You can touch the guitar if you want,” Eddie says and he’s so close Y/N can feel the vibration of his voice against her body. His warm breath lightly coats her exposed ear.

“Can I?”

“Go ahead.”

“Okay,” she says softly and reaches out to touch the base of the guitar. She lightly runs her fingers across the sleek material and shivers. She slowly strums her fingers along the chords and nearly jumps at the corresponding noise. 

“Wanna hold it?” Eddie asks and lifts his arms up to take the guitar off its mount. Y/N’s eyes are drawn to the tattoos on the taut skin of his muscled bicep. 

He offers the guitar to Y/N and she takes it, placing the strap over her head and onto her shoulder.

“Do you play on this often?”

“Yeah, we play at a dive bar a couple miles out of town.”

“What?” Y/N asks as she strums across the chords. She looks up at him in confusion.

Eddie looks around for a chord and connects the guitar to the amp on his dresser, “I play with my band, Corroded Coffin.”

“You’re in a band?” She asks with widened eyes.

“Yeah, you should come see us sometime,” he says confidently.

Y/N nods, speechless at the realization that Eddie is not only in a band but performs live. Her mind zeroes in on the vision of what Eddie would like playing guitar on stage. How his hair would stick to sweat on his skin and how the stage lights would reflect on his tattooed arms or dazzling eyes. 

“Here, try this,” Eddie turns on the amp and hands Y/N a guitar pick. Y/N takes it and nervously strums the guitar. She nearly flinches from the loud vibrations. 

“See, you’re a natural,” Eddie teases. Y/N glares at him.

“We’ll take it slow,” Eddie says as he leans forward and places her hands on a specific string and fret. Y/N looks up at his hooded eyes, lids half closed as he looks down at her hands. She’s almost mesmerized by his beautiful features till the electric touch of his fingers on hers brings her attention down to the instrument between them.

“Now strum” his command brings Y/N back to earth. She strums and hears the sound vibrate off the instrument. 

“Now put your right hand on the string below it and put your left hand here,” Eddie adjusts. She strums. 

“Okay, now put this hand here, on the D and G chords, and this hand here,” Eddie gives her another chord and she strums. They repeat the process for several more chords. 

“Now put it all together,” Eddie instructs. 

Y/N slowly strums, pausing to adjust between chords. When she forgets a chord, because why did Eddie have to make her memorize so many, she looks up to Eddie and he points out the next one. 

She plays the entire piece and it sounds crooked but somewhat familiar. She tries it again and again. The more she plays the more she recognizes the song he’s just taught her. 

“Wait,” Y/N looks back down in concentration and plays the chords faster. Duh duh duhhh duh duh duh duhhhh, duh duh duhhh duh duh. 

“Eddie,” Y/N exclaims. She looks at him with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. She looks down and plays the chords more fluidly, getting into a rhythm. 

She plays the song again and moves her body to the rhythm, leaning forward and back and bobbing her head along the way.

“Eddie! I’m…” Y/N trails off as she finishes the song one last time.

“A rockstar?” He quirks an eyebrow.

“No,” she rolls her eyes then peers up at him.

“That, smarty pants, is the legendary riff to Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple.”

Y/N stops playing and tightly clutches the guitar in her fingers. She scrunches her eyebrows and grins at the impending sense of pride she feels.

“That was… awesome! I loved every second of it. Do you feel like this every time you play?” She asks in breathless excitement. Her chest drastically rising and falling.

Eddie’s taken aback by Y/N’s reaction. He didn’t think she would be this excited or awestruck. He clears his throat and says, “Something like that.”

 Y/N takes the strap off and holds out the guitar to him.

“It’s your turn,” She smugly grins at him. 

“You want me to play?” Eddie smirks and grabs the guitar. 

Y/N sits back on the edge of his bed. “Yeah, show me what you’ve got.” She says with a challenging tone.

Eddie adjusts the guitar in his expert fingers. He holds his hand out for the guitar pick and flicks his wrist before he starts strumming. 

“You mean, a little something like this,” he winks before playing the chords to Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Y/N gasps at how much it sounds like the tape he played just the other day.

“Or maybe a little something like this,” he says and expertly plays the Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple chord he just taught her. 

“Surely you know that one,” he winks at her open mouthed and wide eyed face.

“Wanna hear something new I’ve added to my set list?” Eddie asks and Y/N nods with heat emanating from every inch of her skin. Eddie breathes in then exhales. He closes his eyes and strums the intro riff to When Doves Cry by Prince. 

“Eddie!” Y/N squeals as she rises to her feet, smile beaming wide from ear to ear. “You learned my favorite Prince song? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Y/N knows she must be imagining the pink tint beginning to coat Eddie’s cheeks. 

Eddie decided from the first time Y/N rode in his van that he would learn a song for her. He figured a Prince song would be the most natural option. After borrowing the Purple Rain tape from one of his bandmates and listening to it for hours on repeat, he not only fell in love with the album but wanted to learn how to play every single song. He really liked the intro riff to When Doves Cry but he never realized the song would draw him in the same way it did for Y/N.

“I wanted to surprise you,” he says bashfully. 

Truthfully, he didn’t expect he would ever get the chance to show her, but the look in her eyes let him know that the late nights spent practicing were well worth it.

Y/N looks at him smiling breathlessly at her. This is the nicest and most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for her. 

She turns her head to the side and covers her smile with her fingers. If she doesn’t get it together, she’s sure her heart will explode out of her chest.

Keeping her fingertips on her lips, she asks, “Do you sing, at all? For Corroded Coffin?”

Eddie presses his lips together, fighting the smile threatening to form on his face and does a one shoulder shrug.

“What does that mean?” 

“Sorta, kinda.” Eddie shortly grins. With most girls, he’ll never hesitate to let them know he’s the frontman of Corroded Coffin. He doesn’t know why, but girls always seem to like him more when they learn he’s a guitar player, especially when he tells them he’s the lead singer too. 

“So do you sing backup then?”

“Not exactly,” he grins at her like a Cheshire cat.

“Eddie,” Y/N whines, “Why are you being so weird about this? Just answer the question.”

Eddie leans back on his dresser and crosses his arms over his chest. He smiles and cockily says, “Just come to one of our shows. You’ll find out then.” 

“When’s your next show?”

“Friday.”

Y/N gulps. “Friday, as in tomorrow?”

“Yup,” Eddie replies, cockily popping the p-sound.

Y/N frowns, “I can’t. My friends and I made plans to go to Star Court after school.”

“That’s fine. We usually don’t go on till 11:00 anyway. You can come after. And bring your friends too.”

“Eddie, I can’t do that. On weekends my curfew is 10:00.”

Eddie looks down in disappointment, “Oh, come on, you can just sneak out. Your parents won’t know the difference.”

“Seriously, I can’t. And I just know they would find out somehow. Nothing gets past them.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Get one of them to cover for you.”

Y/N knows that if her sister could, that she would cover for her, and that she could potentially get away with it, but that’s way too big of an if she’s not ready to gamble on. 

“Eddie, even if I could get my sister to cover for me, I just don’t think it would work.”

“Sure they will. They’ll probably be asleep the whole time and not even notice you’re gone.”

Y/N tries to imagine it. Never mind the fact that she doesn’t even have a car to get her there. But, if somehow he gave her a ride and if her sister covered her and if everything worked out… What would happen then? Probably nothing because there’s no way that could ever happen.

“Look Eddie, while I’m under my parents roof, I can’t afford to get in trouble in any capacity. I just can’t. I hope you can understand,” Y/N looks at him pleadingly.

Eddie looks into her eyes and sees a scared child. It’s a sight he recognizes instantly because he used to have it too.

“Yeah, I understand,” he replies in a sense of respectful disappointment.

“Thanks,” Y/N whispers and Eddie nods. 

An awkward silence fills the room but is interrupted when Y/N gets an idea. “I would still like to see you play though.”

Eddie looks at her in confusion.

“Maybe you could give me a preview, tonight,” Y/N bats her eyes. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows.

“You could play one song. It could be like practice.” She says innocently with big doe eyes.

Eddie is tempted to give in, but he hasn’t fully let go of the hope that she could see him play live with Corroded Coffin someday. He knows it's a lot to ask for someone like her, and yet he wants it badly enough to ask for it anyway.  

But for all he knows, this might be the last night they ever spend together. If she were to never see him play live or even see him outside of the classroom, then he wants to give her something. He wants to give Y/N anything she asks and one last beautiful memory between them both.

“Okay,” he gives in.

“Really? You sure?” Y/N worries she might have pressured him. 

“Yeah, for you I will.”

Y/N smiles hopefully at him “Okay.”

Eddie turns over and moves items around on his dresser. He pulls out a microphone and plugs the chord attached to it to the amp beside him

He juts his chin in the direction of the back corner of the room “You mind passing me the mic stand over there?”

Y/N’s eyes widen and she silently follows his request. Is he really about to do this right now?

“You sure it won’t be too loud? Don’t want to disturb the neighbors.”

“Nah, they don’t care.”

“They don’t or you don’t care?”

“Y/N, I practice like this all the time and they’ve never said anything to me before.”

“Yet.”

“Y/N, do you want me to do this or not?” He chuckles. 

Y/N nods, “I do.”

“Just sit back,” He flicks his wrist in the direction of his bed, “Relax, and enjoy the show.”

Y/N slowly backs away and takes a seat on the edge of his bed. She looks up at him, palms sweating and nerves tingling.

Eddie breathes and takes a moment to think about which song he’ll play for her. Besides the short Prince riff he just learned for her, there’s nothing he can play that she’ll like or isn’t metal. He doesn’t have a lot of options, so he goes with a safe choice and hopes she’ll appreciate it anyway.

He kisses his guitar pick before strumming the chords to Paranoid by Black Sabbath. It’s his favorite song to perform and one he knows like the back of his hand. 

He begins strumming and shaking his head in rhythm with the song.

Finished with my woman 'cause

She couldn't help me with my mind

People think I'm insane because

I am frowning all the time

His voice echoes through the sound system and fills Y/N’s ears. Y/N looks at him and notices how his full lips curl closely to the head of the microphone. 

All day long I think of things

But nothing seems to satisfy

Think I'll lose my mind

If I don't find something to pacify

He looks from his fingers on the guitar to Y/N’s face. His eyes lock with hers and he smiles before wailing:

Can you help me

Occupy my brain?

Oh yeah

His fingers dance along the strings and up the neck of the cherry red electric guitar. He thrusts his shoulders and moves his pelvis along with the instrument. He shakes his head, letting his frizzy waves fly. 

I need someone to show me

The things in life that I can't find

I can't see the things that make

True happiness, I must be blind

He's lost in focus, trying to play it perfectly for her. He’s never looked more beautiful. Y/N’s dryly swallows the saliva in her poached throat. An unnerving sensation begins to grow in the pit of her stomach and her heart races to the beat of the song. In this moment, she realizes that she finally understands what it means when people say they’re turned on. 

In just a simple pair of black jeans, a hellfire club t shirt, a leather jacket, and jean vest, Y/N feels like she’s in the presence of an absolute sex god. 

Make a joke and I will sigh

And you will laugh and I will cry

Happiness I cannot feel

And love to me is so unreal

Y/N can feel the blood dancing in her veins. She almost wants to stand up and jump or dance around to the song, but one, there’s hardly any space, and two, how do you even dance to this kind of music? It’s so much easier to dance to music on the radio or the Spanish music her parents listen to.

She settles for nodding her head to the rhythm and grinning at Eddie. She even lets out a few whoops and hollers to cheer him on which he nervously smiles at before refocusing on the song.

And so as you hear these words

Telling you now of my state

I tell you to enjoy life

I wish I could but it's too late

Eddie strums the last chord and it slowly fades out. The buzz of the sound still reverberates around the room. His chest rises and falls and the hair at the back of his neck is damp. 

Eddie wakes up from his metal induced trance and sees Y/N standing on her feet and clapping. She’s grinning widely at him and he breathlessly smiles back at her.

“Eddie! That was so awesome! You’re literally a rockstar!”

Y/N could just hug him, but there’s a whole guitar between them. And despite the fact that Eddie already took them to a “good acquaintances that can hug under specific circumstances” level, Y/N feels too shy to initiate such contact.

“Nah,” Eddie breathlessly replies with a wave of  a hand.

“No seriously,” Y/N takes a step forward and places her hand an inch away from his holding the neck of the guitar, “You have a gift.”

They lock eyes for a moment. Y/N’s shine in admiration and Eddie’s gleam in pride.

Eddie breaks the contact to move over and unplug the chords.

As he puts the guitar back in its place, Y/N turns around and walks around the room with her back facing Eddie. It’s embarrassing how big he’s making her smile. 

“So how long have you been playing guitar?” She asks as she pretends to look at the other things in his room. 

“I don’t know. As long as I can remember.” Eddie says as his eyes follow her movement. 

“Is that what you want to do when you grow up?” Y/N asks. 

“I’m nineteen. Some would say I’m pretty grown already.” 

Y/N’s tenses. She doesn’t like when he throws his age around like that. It makes her feel intimidated knowing how much older and experienced in life he is. 

“You know what I mean Eddie.”

“I don’t know Y/N. Probably yeah. I want to keep playing for as long as I can.”

“What do you think you’ll do when you graduate?” Y/N asks as she walks over and sits at the corner of his bed. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it,” Eddie replies from his place against the dresser.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he replies curtly.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, just haven’t.” 

“Really?” Y/N asks incredulously. 

“Look, maybe I’ll get a job with my uncle. Maybe I’ll go and fix up old cars. Maybe I’ll work at the record store at Star Court. Is that what you want to hear?” Eddie says in frustration as he plops down next to Y/N.

Y/N holds her breath and waits for him to calm down. She didn’t mean to make him mad, but what she doesn’t realize is just how sensitive of a subject this is for Eddie.

“Point is, I’ll figure it out when the time comes.”

“You don’t… have a plan?” She asks quietly, barely above a whisper at the boy sitting next to her.

“No, I don’t have a plan Y/N,” he says in a controlled voice as he looks down at his hands folded in his lap. “Why should I make a plan when it’s probably just gonna change?”

She turns her head to face him. “Yeah, sometimes your plans can change, but they still give you something to work for, something to hope for.”

“The last thing I need is false hope.”

“It’s not false hope, Eddie.”

“Tell me how it’s not.”

“I mean, if you could make your tomorrow better than your today, wouldn’t you at least try?”

Eddie looks down at Y/N who’s already looking up at him. He scrunches his eyebrows and bites the inside of his lower lip. 

He looks back down at his lap and Y/N’s eyes trail to the tattoos on his arms. She wishes she could reach out and touch them, but that would be weird right? She’s in his room, leg to leg and arm to arm with him, but it would be too much if she reached out and placed her fingers over that delicate skin, right?

“Even if I did, what would it matter? Tomorrow isn’t promised, why should I act like it is?”

Y/N can’t deny that some of his words ring true, but it’s still not enough to convince her otherwise. Y/N sighs, “Are you happy, Eddie? With the way things are now.”

Eddie can’t find himself saying yes. Of course he isn’t happy he failed his senior year of high school twice. Of course he isn’t happy to be a burden on his uncle. But as long as he had his guitar and his D&D, it made life bearable.

“I mean for some things yeah, but I have a lot of other things to be happy about. I have my friends and I have my Uncle Wayne and I have music. To some, it may not look like a lot, but for me, that’s all I need.”

Y/N closes her eyes and breathes in. “Eddie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Y/N twiddles her fingers in her lap. “You do have a lot to be happy about. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can be grateful for everything your family’s done for you and you can still want more for yourself. I know I am.”

“You are?”

“Sure. I’m grateful for all the sacrifices my parents have made and all the things they’ve done for me, but at the same time, I know there’s more out there and I want it, even if it’s just a taste.”

Eddie muses over Y/N’s words. “Yeah I guess so.”

“In the same way, I’m grateful for everything Hawkins has given me, even if it includes shitty school counselors and hardly anything to do for miles, but I still want more than what this little town can offer, you know?”

Eddie nods slowly. “So what do you want?”

“Huh?”

“What do you want? That your parents or Hawkins can’t give you?”

Y/N takes a deep breath. There’s so many things that she wants in life. But she feels weird letting it all come out to Eddie. These are things she thinks about constantly but never tells anyone. She's excited but tries to contain it and instead lets out a simple, all encompassing answer. “Freedom.”

“Yeah?” Eddie smiles at her.

“Yeah. I can’t really do what I want or be who I want under my parent’s roof or in a place like Hawkins.”

“I feel the same way. I mean I can be who I want in here, but out there…” Eddie trails off and shakes his head.

“Is there anything you want?”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know. Never really thought about it.”

“Really?”

“I mean… no one’s ever asked me.”

“Well, I’m asking you. And I’m sure there’s something. For starters, do you ever want to leave Hawkins?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think about getting out of this god forsaken town, but then I think about my uncle Wayne and my parents and what any of them would think and I just… I’m not ready to leave this place just yet. Maybe in a couple of years, but for now, I’m not ready to leave my family, my uncle.”

Eddie hasn’t really brought up his parents before, so she knows how big of a deal it must be for him to have brought them up. 

She places a gentle hand on his forearm and slowly rubs her thumb along the skin. Afraid to look Eddie in the eyes and make a vulnerable moment even more uncomfortable, she watches as Eddie brings his other hand over hers and guides it to interlock their fingers.

“I’m so sorry Eddie.” Y/N squeezes his hand. 

“You don’t have to be.” Eddie says in a comforting voice as he sandwiches her hand between the both of his. 

The two are silent for a moment before Eddie adds, “I think I might want to get out of this trailer though, stop being such a burden on my uncle.”

“Eddie, I’m sure that’s not true.” “Eh, it kind of is though. I mean imagine barely making ends meet and still having another mouth to feed. He’s not even a parent but for the past several years he's had a kid to worry about. I don’t want to be that anymore. I just want to be like a normal nephew and uncle. I–” Eddie chokes and squeezes Y/N’s hand. 

He clears his throat and in a strong voice says, “I want to stop being a fuckup and finally make him proud.”

Y/N gasps and tightens her grip on his hand. “Eddie–”

“Shh.” Eddie shakes his head. He breathes in deeply. “I just need to graduate. And then, I’ll get a job and I can get my own place. Maybe even upgrade the busted old van outside, but not too soon though. She’s been with me through too much.”

“Your van is a she?” Y/N laughs.

“Yes, she is. She’s my old girl.”

Y/N rolls her eyes and Eddie chuckles. “Guys are so weird about their cars.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“I’m very much not.” 

“Whatever you say, smarty pants.”

Eddie squeezes Y/N’s hand and she looks at him. “So, what about your band?”

“What about my band?” Eddie smiles and cocks his head to the side in confusion.

“Is there anything you want for your band’s future?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? There’s gotta be something,” Y/N looks up at him, “You have a gift that needs to be shared with the world.”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know. I never thought of it like that before.”

“Eddie, you could perform in front of hundreds of adoring fans every night. Don’t you want to hear girls screaming, we love you Eddie, from the mosh pit of every arena across the country?”

“Only if you’re one of them,” Eddie pinches Y/N’s cheek. She giggles and swats his hand away. 

“Sure, if you ever have a gig in Chicago, let me know and I’ll be there.” 

“So tell me smarty pants, why Chicago?”

Y/N shrugs and giddily replies, “Oh, lots of reasons. We visit a lot because we have family there and every time I go I fall more and more in love with the city. The people there are so cool and at night the skyline lights twinkle like stars. It's beautiful. Everything about the city makes me feel alive. I feel like I can be myself there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Y/N nods and smiles. “It doesn’t hurt to be too far from here either.”

“Oh so the big Chicago hot-shot is gonna come back and grace the presence of us Hawkins common folk?”

“Shut up Eddie, it’s not even like that.” Y/N leans to the side to shove Eddie.

“You’re gonna get into that school Y/N, I just know it. You’ll be the best thing to come out of this town.”

Y/N looks up into Eddie’s eyes, sparkling in the low light of the lamps in his room. “Thanks Eddie… You’re gonna make your uncle proud–you’ll make all of us proud too, I know it.”

Eddie smiles at Y/N. His lips pulled tight to create a dense dimple by the corner of his mouth. A comfortable silence falls between them.

All of a sudden, Y/N feels a tightening in her chest. She can’t breathe properly. He’s too close. Talking could distract her before, but now that there’s silence, all she can focus on is the feeling of his leg against hers. Of the warmth and weight of his hand in hers. 

He shuffles his torso slightly to face her and his arm rubs against her. She looks down at the newly created empty space between their arms.

“Y/N,” Eddie softly calls out. Y/N looks up and her breath hitches from how close his face is to hers.

“Yeah,” she replies barely above a whisper. She looks between his warm chocolate eyes. His eyes flicker from her lips and settle on her own bright eyes. 

Is this going to happen?

Y/N’s palms are sweating and her heart is pumping loudly and violently in her chest. 

A part of her is afraid and nervous and not yet ready for this to happen. But the other part of her is the opposite. 

She hadn’t realized it till this very moment. If anyone was going to be her first kiss, she would want it to be Eddie. But would he even want to kiss her? What is happening? If Eddie is going to do something, he needs to do it now and take Y/N out of her misery.

He opens his mouth and closes it. His eyes flash to the side and he gulps. “I should probably take you home now. Don’t want you to miss curfew.”

If Eddie’s not mistaken, a look of disappointment crosses Y/N’s features quickly before she covers it with a mask of neutrality.

“Oh, yeah, ok,” she nods and looks at her watch. It’s fifteen till 7:00. Of all times for Eddie to be more concerned about following the rules than Y/N, why now?

“Let’s go,” Eddie taps the back of her hand with his free one and unravels their intertwined fingers. Eddie rises and walks to the door. Y/N stays back for a second, not yet ready to leave this room, this trailer, or this surreal moment.

“Y/N,” Eddie smirks from the doorway. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” Y/N quietly nods and follows him. She silently grabs her things from the kitchen and follows Eddie out the door. She walks over to the van and hears the grass crunch beneath her feet. As she waits for Eddie to lock the trailer door and unlock the van, she looks around and sees the glare of the yellow street lights cast over the metal of the trailer.

The two climb into the van and Eddie starts the car. He puts a tape into the deck and pulls out of the trailer park. Y/N watches his slender fingers on the steering wheel as the shadows dance across them.

She feels solemn as he drives her back home. She doesn’t want to be going home and leaving Eddie just yet. She doesn’t want this to be the last time she ever rides in his van or hears his heavy metal blasting through the speakers. 

The trailer park is all the way in East Hawkins, so the drive to her house is long, but not long enough.

“That wasn’t too bad, right?”

“What wasn’t too bad?” Y/N turns to look at Eddie with a red glow cast on his skin by the stoplight.

“Having to work with the freak,” Eddie points to himself, “On a simple chemistry assignment.”

“Eddie, you shouldn’t call yourself that. You’re not a freak.”

“Yeah, well that’s the thing about nicknames, they’re given to you and they’re pretty hard to get rid of,” Eddie shrugs.

“Well I don’t care. You’re not a freak to me. Annoying? Sure. A deranged metal head? Maybe. But definitely not a freak.”

Eddie chuckles and the sight of his joy makes Y/N smile.

“Eddie,” Y/N says as he turns into her subdivision. “Today was fun.”

He looks at her. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Y/N grins at him. “Maybe we can still do something fun… to celebrate a job well done on this assignment.”

“You want to?” Eddie looks at her from his peripheral vision.

“Yeah. If you do too.” Y/N smiles at her lap. She looks up and sees the houses leading up to her own. 

“Yeah, sure. You got anything in mind?”

As Eddie passes her house, she sees her fathers car in the driveway.

“My dad’s home,” Y/N says with alarm as Eddie parks in front of her house. “I think he’s inside already, but we don’t have a lot of time.”

“What?” Eddie shifts his body to face her and her frazzled state.

Y/N unbuckles her seatbelt and grabs her backpack. “Are you free on Saturday?”

Eddie had plans with some of the boys from Hellfire club but they could wait. “I can be.”

Y/N looks from her house to Eddie. “Good. We’ll pick back up on this tomorrow, before class, okay?”

Eddie nods. Y/N looks at the dashboard and the time reads 6:58. She looks over her shoulder and sees no one standing outside her house or peeking through the blinds of the living room windows. 

She turns back around to face Eddie. She looks at him for a moment, gathering the nerve to do something she might end up regretting. Eddie notices and looks at her in confusion.

Okay, it’s now or never.

She grabs the back of his seat for leverage and leans over. She lightly places a hand on his neck for stability and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek. 

“Goodnight Eddie,” she whispers inches away from his wide eyed and slack jawed face. 

She scrambles to get out of the van before he can even say anything. She shuts the door behind her and runs across the walkway to her front door. 

She opens the door and closes it behind her. To the right, her parents are loudly talking over some story on the news playing several feet from the left of her.

“I’m home,” Y/N shouts, “Gonna go to the restroom and I’ll be back down.” 

Her parents wave her off and Y/N excitedly pounces up the steps. She throws her backpack on the floor of her room and runs off to the bathroom across the hall.

She giggles at her reflection and brings her fingers to her lips. 

She doesn’t know what came over her, but it did. She kissed Eddie Munson, on the cheek though. But it’s the most she’s ever done in her life. 

She hopes he liked it but starts to worry he might not have. She shakes the worry out of her head and smiles. Little does she know, Eddie’s been dying to make a move but was 100% certain his advances would have been rejected. 

Y/N doesn’t know what any of this means for her and Eddie, but it thrills her nonetheless.

She keeps her composure throughout dinner, but once she excuses herself to go do homework in her room, she closes the door behind her, lays on her bed, and screams into her pillow with glee.

She climbs out of bed and turns on her portable radio. Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears plays and she begins dancing around her room. Her eyes land on a hairbrush on her dresser. She grabs it and uses it as a microphone while singing to herself in the mirror. 

When the chorus comes back on, she lies back on her bed and sings:

 Something happens and I'm head over heels

I never find out until I'm head over heels

Something happens and I'm head over heels

Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart

Don't, don't, don't throw it away

“Y/N,” Y/N’s sister yells as she opens the door. Y/N scrambles to sit up and looks at her in embarrassment. 

“Turn that crap down,” she says as she walks over and lowers the volume. “It’s annoying as hell.”

Y/N sticks her tongue out at her sister as she walks out of the room and leaves the door open. 

“Can you at least close the door?” Y/N yells over at her in the hallway. 

Moments like this are what make Y/N wish she had a walkman. 

Y/N spends the rest of her evening completing homework for other classes while intermittently replaying the time she just spent with Eddie. 

By the time she lays in bed, ready to go to sleep, visions of Eddie behind his guitar or his big brown eyes and bright smile flash across her mind. Her heart can’t wait to see him again tomorrow. She doesn’t know what they’ll do next time they hang out either, but all that matters is that she’s with him.

It’s weird, feeling the way she does. And a part of her almost feels silly. How did this boy just come into her life and already made this much of an impact? 

Y/N doesn’t understand her attraction to the deranged metalhead and in a similar way, Eddie doesn’t understand his attraction to the smartypants girl next door, but the both of them are eager to find out why.

#stranger things fanfic #stranger things #st4 #stranger things s4 #stranger things season 4 #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson st4 #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson angst #urfavstargirl1 #eddie stranger things #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson stranger things

[lostysworld]

A healing touch – Kaz Brekker x reader

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 (final)

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Warning: OOC, mention of touch aversion

Summary: You trying to fight your motives to help Kaz, but maybe you should not?

A/N: I don't know what I'v done, but anyway :D. I promised some romance, so enjoy a little bit of it, guys, in the end of the chapter)

Masterlist

– I am so selfish.

You and Inej are sitting in your parents' bakery after the closing hours, waiting to finally come home.

Despite the girl's calm behavior, you always find yourself comfortable around her.

– Why?

– I wanted to help Kaz through his avertion, - you casts a look towards the kitchen, where your mother is, and lower your pitch. – But I only ended up with thinking about my own reasons.

�� So you are in love with him!

– Shh! - you wave your hands at Inej for her loud voice, being afraid your mum will know about it. In that case you won't be able to shut that woman up. – Do you want everyone to learn about it?

– I'm sure, your mother will be happy-

– That is the reason, - seeing your friend's mischievous grin you realizes, your worst fear may come true. – My mum will talk about it for the whole time, if she knows.

– Knows what?

Your heart sinks down. Seems, you were so worried about your predicament, than didn't notice the entrance door opened silently behind your back. But Inej did for sure.

You turn around to face Kaz, your very handsome problem, as it appears. Now you know why Inej was smiling like this.

– We are closed, young man, - your mum comes out of the kitchen, but when she recognizes Kaz, her smile becomes wider – Oh, Mr. Brekker, come in. The oven is still warm, do you want something?

You fight the urge to hide somewhere and only whispers.

– Saints, it only becomes worse, - Inej holds back a laughter looking at you, your mother, and Kaz, who seems struggling the same problem as you.

He can deal with every freak in Ketterdam, but when it comes to your mother, the man is always confused.

– Uhm, no, thank you.

Brekker turns to both of you, looking at Inej. It is clear, that he doesn't come to see you, and it suddenly upsets you.

Inej only nods to you and stands to follow Kaz, while you is staring down in your empty cup. Suddenly a brief touch to your shoulder draws your attention.

You raise your glance at Kaz, who stands right beside you, rather close to you, you'd say. His hand is still on your shoulder, and his heat radiates from the palm even through the leather of the glove.

– I didn't thank you for your help last time.

You could never read his glance, it is always the same cold, collected expression, that you can't understand. Maybe, you are way too much mesmerized by Kaz Brekker to notice something else.

– It's fine, Kaz. You are welcome, - you hesitate, seeing his piercing eyes don't leave you. – And good luck your heist.

He nods silently and walks out. As soon as the door behind him is closed, you drop your head on the table with a loud grown. Why you can't just tell him how you feel? It will go two ways anyway. He will admit that it's mutual or not. No big deal, yeah?

– If I acted like you twenty three years ago, I would never marry you father, Y/N.

Yours mother's sympathetic voice rings somewhere above your head, but you don't want to argue with her.

– I'm not a sum of kruge for Kaz to be interested in.

– Mr. Brekker is only interested in kruge, because he doesn't have something more valuable, see?

You raise your head to her to see her smirking and lay it down again. Your mother can advise you whatever she wants, but it doesn't mean you have enough courage to do it.

You walk into the Slat, that is unexpectedly overcrowded for this time of the evening. Earlier this day a boy came to collect you to Kaz, as he was told, and that makes your heart flutter.

You haven't seen your friends for these two days, the heist they prepared was extremely important for all the Crows and you decided not to distract them.

On the first floor you notice Jasper and others, though Kaz isn't amongst them. You wave playfully to the guys, it is hard for you to hide, that you really miss them.

Jasper waves you back and nods towards upstairs.

– Kaz wanted to see you, Y/N.

With a brief nod you run to Brekker's room. After two short knocks you open the door, not waiting for a permission.

– Y/N, - a small smile hides in the corners of the man's lips.

– Should I congratulate you with the successful heist, Kaz? Everybody look so content.

He nods and extends his hand towards you. You come closer immediately noticing a small silver pendant on his palm.

– It's lovely, Kaz. Thank you.

– Are you sure? - his suspicious gaze follows you, you raise your brow trying to understand his question. – I mean, it was stolen-

Does he question his methods now, after all these years?

– I like it, stolen or not. Besides, you risked your safety to get it. So, I like it even more.

Taking it from his palm carefully, you realize Brekker's hands are without gloves tonight. Your decision, made some days ago, comes to your mind at the same time.

– Could you help me?

The man's gaze instantly finds yours, and you recognize a sparkle of panic inside. Any other day you would apologize for breaking his boundaries, but not now.

Kaz swallows and nods, after that you turn around letting him lock the pendant on your neck.

He is doing it so carefully, that you don't even feels the touch, but only his hot breathing on you neck. And it slowly drives you insane.

– Kaz, - once the pendant is locked you turn rapidly to face him, meeting his piercing blue gaze.

You know that this kind of proximity makes him uncomfortable, but you just can't help yourself to move an inch back.

You swallow and drop your gaze on his hand, that now is laying on the table just right next to you. Brekker's glance is watching you slowly moving your own one.

Your palm is inches from his, still you don't make a final move. You two are so close, Kaz can feel your breath on his cheek, and it gives him slight shiver down his spine. Pleasant or not, he can't decide.

– Kaz, - you call him once more, whispering. – I can help you with it.

– No one can, Y/N, - you don't need to be precise for him to know what are talking about. Brekker shakes his head, and you watches his weak grin disappeare.

– I will. Please, let me in, Kaz. I will not hurt you.

You are craving for his touch so badly, that it almost makes you shake with anticipation. But the man doesn't rush the moment.

You finally touch his wrist with you fingertips, Brekker flinches, but doesn't move away. Taking a silent permission you trace an invisible pattern on his arm, when his hoarse whisper reaches you.

– Stop, - he swallows hard.

– Kaz-

– Please, stop, Y/N, - you've never seen Kaz Brekker begged before, moreover you don't want him to hate you after this evening.

Your glances cross and you feel like you are unable to move. He is still a bit struggling with the effect of your touch, but something else is on the back of his mind.

– I've wanted to touch you for so long, - his voice runs goosebumps across your skin. – I even thought that ignoring you might help.

– Look at me, Kaz, - your hand flies to his chin, barely touching, slightly turning him to face you. – You can do this.

The man shakes his head with anger appering in his eyes. He doesn't blame you for trying, anyway, he tried too. But he does blame you for giving him this false hope.

– We need to try once more.

'We'. Kaz sighs. Isn't it worth trying? Isn't Y/N worth?

Your hand caresses his cheek as if he's made of glass. Brekker tenses, and you feel him ready to burst with swearing.

But to you own surprise, the man just exhales slowly, and after a second he slightly leans into the touch.

– See?

Y/N is warm, not like Jordie, Kaz feels it's radiating through his own skin now. The tingling on his cheek from your accident brushing leaves him a bit nervous. In a good way.

Y/N smells like cinnamon and baking powder, and Brekker loses a bit of his sanity from such proximity. He would never let anyone do the same with him.

But it's you. Kaz can make any deal, but he also can make an exception for Y/N.

– I think, it's enough for today, - you slowly take your hand from his cheek, afraid that it cam be too overwhelming for Kaz.

A faint smile lights up you face, and instantly it is reflected on Brekker's face.

– Ask Jasper to walk you home.

– I will be fine-

– No, I want you to be safe, - your breath is stuck in your throat. – So...good night.

– Good night, Kaz.

This stupid smile doesn't leave your face until you come home.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone x you #kaz brekker #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #six of crows x you #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows

[just-like-playing-tag]

A Letter from Norman reactions

Tonight I was feeling like reorganizing the notes I took after reading the novel for the first time. Just some random personal reactions I had after reading it; if anything catches your attention and you'd like to know more about a particular event from the novel, please feel free to ask and I'll be happy to help!!!

Under the cut because it's l o n g. That is, if Tumblr allows me to add a "read more", which has never happened before, but I'll keep hoping in it.

• Disclaimer: I'm suing anyone who ever said that the novel is all about NorEmma. I've literally put off reading it because I didn't want to get into something overly romantic while there's??? Nearly nothing about it that is romantic??????? Just a slight mention in that last chapter and that's it???????? Why are y'all like this

Prologue

• I need you all to know that the important letter™ through which Norman informed Emma about his plan starts with him describing the weather. I just think it's a relevant information.

• Ok I'm at freaking page 1 of “A letter from Norman” and. NORMAN IT'S A FREAKING LETTER TO EMMA NOT A SHAKESPEAREAN PLAY THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON TO BE THIS POETIC

Maybe, I would get it if it was directed to Ray, but to Emma?????

Chapter 1

• Emma in 2038: Let's befriend ghosts

Emma in 2047: let's befriend demons

Seems like a logic consecution to me

• Ok but why has nobody ever mentioned the extremely precious Emma / Gilda moments in the novel???? My heart was completely melting that was the most adorable thing I've ever read??????

• The way Norman is constantly in awe of Ray is so adorable... Baby is so sweet I swear, he deserves the world

Chapter 2

• OK BUT THE SWEET EXCHANGE between Ray and Isabella before him and Emma go out at night?????? Ray is so pure is swear... He's a precious baby who didn't deserve all the shit he went through.

Reporting it in case anyone's curious; for context, Norman is sick, and Emma wants to go out look for a flower that she's read is going to help him feel better. Emma and Ray are convinced that Norman is going to die because babies are just that dramatic, and easily impressionable as well. They're seven here.

“ «Ray, I'm counting on you!»

Isabella pressed an hand on the boy's shoulder, who turned his face to her and diligently nodded, before continuing: «Differently from Emma, I don't think the flower is going to help Norman heal».

«What do you mean?»

«However, it's better than having to sit back and watch without doing anything. I too, like her, want him to heal as soon as possible.»

«Sure, I understand...» ”

NOW that hits so hard. You have to understand, this is after Ray had made the deal with Isabella. He had already started to plan the escape. In this occasion, he was on a very thin line: alone at night with Emma, outside the House, a child who knew the truth. Isabella knew those were the right conditions for him to attempt an escape, so she decided to test his loyalty; one misstep, and their deal - which was fundamental for the escape Ray was planning - would have ended.

But at the same time, Ray needed to go. Because, just like Emma, he just couldn't stand to lose Norman. And to see these three children caring so deeply about each other even at such a young age makes me honestly bawl. This is quite certainly my favorite thing from this series. And Ray deserves the world.

• Ray was so determined to save his two friends, he even considered for a moment, in the woods, to tell Emma the truth about the orphanage. I find it very nice how the novel hinted of all these times Ray almost revealed the truth, it really puts emphasis on how he was trying to find the best moment for the escape- but it also hints to how desperate he was to share this grievous burden he was forced to carry for the longest time.

• “ Ray, you must keep on living, Norman whispered to himself like a prayer. ”

I'm... I'M 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Doesn't help the fact that this bit was literally at the end of pages of Norman praising Ray and how brave he had been for so long.

• “ Nobody in the House would have wanted for Ray to pay with his life to amend the silence of all those years. ”

I love this bit. Nobody between the children ever hated Ray for speechlessly assisting to dozens of his siblings being lead to death, because they all immediately understood how much he was suffering, how powerless he must had felt, and also, even though it only led to him being even more hurt, how deeply he loved them all. It's really nice to realize that no children ever hated Ray- no one besides from himself. His siblings love him unconditionally, and that's precisely what he deserves 🤧🤧💕💕💕

• Norman: *adventures in a detailed description of Ray's features and gestures for no other apparent reason than the fact that he finds him pretty*

Chapter 3

• Ok I know people use to see Ray and Susan's interactions under the light of Ray having a crush on her but honestly? I think they make the cutest brotp. I never knew how much I needed Ray-having-an-older-sister content untill now.

• For real though!! What hits you really hard is to find out, even though he would had never ever showed it, how desperate he was to have somebody care about him, and to be loved. He literally grieves for losing someone that looks after him and is there to check on him in his lowest days- we know it's the thing Isabella never gave him. Man, this boy didn't deserve all the shit that happened to him. Tpn may have become an old known story for me, but Ray's sufferings in his early age will never stop tearing my heart apart.

• Ok, I wasn't ready for all this angst on Ray's part. I mean, I obviously know GF were hard times for him, but I didn't expect for him to take over the pov. Sis, how wrong I was. Now I'm crying.

• Coming to the realization that Ray's initial plan actually was to bring everyone in the escape, but he clearly had to give up on it after having realized it would have been impossible to save them 🥺🥺🥺

(I mean it was not impossible. He believed it was. But it wasn't.)

• Ok but. The last part of the Ner chapter. I really don't want to spoil it for anyone because it really was a beautiful chapter but I really need to say: Emma and Norman. The way it wasn't just Ray always being there for them, protecting them from afar; no matter their blissful ignorance, they have always been there for him too. They never abandoned that lonely boy, and they made it so that he could have a last reason not to give up. A single, dim light of hope in that pitch black, devastating world he was born in. I may or may not be crying my eyes out.

(Btw I had written this before the Ray special chapter came out, and it's kinda funny to look back at it now)

• The thing with the Ner chapter is: you enter in it after reading two chapters of normal, wholesome children's stories. There's a dark undertune in it, but it's very subtle and it doesn't interfere with the happy, cheerful atmosphere of these children facing adventures together with each other. But then the Ner chapter strikes, and the Ray pov arrives, and it's like being beaten with a bat in the stomach several times. Deep down, you had always known it; but you suddenly realize that all these children are going to die. And, even worse, there's one child who knows. There's one child who has to assist to everything powerlessly. There's one child, one freaking-nine-years-old who knows that all his siblings are going to die, and there's nothing he can do. That a single mistake could ruin the chances of making just two of his siblings survive, which is everything he's hanging to right now. One child who only needs to be loved. Well that... That hits hard.

Me expressing my thoughts: girl this form is shit you can't write something that is understandable to save your life can you

• Also can we please appreciate Norman taking so long to get out of the forest as it's a recurrent characterizzation of his character to be desperately willing to live just *French chef kiss*

• I really like how the novel underlined how Norman's choice of sacrificing himself corresponded to a betrayal toward his friends (when you think about it, Emma definitely felt betrayed). It's almost like in his last moments Norman chose to switch roles with Ray, taking on his shoulders the burden of being both the traitor and the sacrifice.

Chapter 4

• Norman: * “ He instinctively closed his eyes and abandoned himself to the sweet memory of that time he understood how deeply loved he was. ” *

Somewhere, Ray: Can't relate

• Emma: Norman, what you want to do when you grow up?

Norman: It's a secret.

Me:

• “ Ray woke up before everyone, as usual. ”

A remarkable detail. You'd think Ray, as a good depressed person as he is, would sleep more than the average. The truth is: he doesn't sleep at all.

• Norman: There's... Another person I like

Me:

• OK NOW WHY did none tell me about the nine (9) lines of Norman / Don interacting it was worth reading the novel solely for that.

• WHY DID NONE TELL ME ABOUT DON ALMOST STRANGLING NORMAN AND MAKING HIM LITERALLY PASS AWAY IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH READING THE NOVEL SOLELY FOR THAT

• Reading about Conny being there hurts a lot but reading about Sadie and Hao brings up a totally different kind of pain. Also who the hell is Cindy?

• Norman: Oh yes, Emma and Ray, my most dear friends, my closest siblings, the reason I wake up in the morning, my only reason to live, the ones I'd entrust my life with,

Also Norman: Dunnot in the last thirteen hours and six minutes they have been acting pretty sus, I'm kinda sure they're betraying me somehow ://

• “ «I agree, but it feels like you've fallen down a rabbit hole. You're restless, you constantly look off...» said the raven haired boy, distorting his mouth in an hardly intelligible grimace and giving his friend a meaningful look.

«Norman, about that mysterious girl...»

«No, you're mistaken! I...»

Norman, filled with frustration, raised up his voice, starting to lose the coolness that was usually characteristic of him.

«But I haven't said anything yet!»

That being said Ray, with slightly mocking doing, turned on his feet and went away, leaving Norman like that. ”

I LOVE THIS BIT SO INEXPLICABLY MUCH I'm always *so* in for Oreo finishing each other sentences / reading each other's thoughts. Here, Norman answered Ray's question before he could even expose it, because he already knew what it would have been. Equally, Ray knew what Norman was going to say even though he cut his answer halfway through.

I love how much on the same page they are, they really... Totally and fully understand each other even without words, and I find it so sweet. Seriously, their dynamic is so wholesome

• Norman's last birthday gift: the thing that matters the most to him: his family's happiness

Emma's reward: the thing that matters the most to her: her family's happiness

Some things hit harder than others.

• I don't know like. When you read the novel after the series has ended, everything hurts so much more, because you know these are all memories Emma has lost forever.

• So you made colorful clothing by "coloring old clothes"? Have fun realizing y'all have celebrated Norman's birthday wearing your dead siblings' clothes

Bonus this epic note I randomly took I completely forgot the context of:

• Isabella is a bitch. I don't give a fuck about your dramatic past woman, leave that boy alone

(When the protect Ray mood hits™)

#tpn #the promised neverland #a letter from norman #tpn norman #tpn emma #tpn ray #full score trio #oreo #tpn analysis #mine #I don't even like Stark I just used the gif for the sake of reactions #I should have used facepalming Ray™ instead #Let me know if you want my reactions for the second novel as well!!! #tpn novels

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 7)

A/N: This is probably the longest I've written in this series. Again guys, thank you for the support, your comments and likes mean so much! My tag list is always open so feel free to ask. And on a slightly heavy note: the next chapter could be really angsty. Just a heads up right there uwu

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Angst, slight drinking, slight swearing, (yeah the fluff is still present)

W/C: 5k-ish

Tags: @haendel-me-with-care

@mrsdoradominguez-barnes

@mickmoon

@lakef

@mrsmazzello

@valeriecarolinaw

@queen-turtle-boiii

Edited// I forgot to link the previous parts

Parts: 6 5 4 3 2 1

(Got the pic from Pinterest hhh-)

Storing the luggage bag you've purchased for a fair price in the spare room, you come across a small box of sundries tucked in one corner with cobwebs clinging to the sides. Your eyes light up with curiosity spiking within you, you pick it up and dust the webs off, blowing the particles away from the top. You squat on the floor and open the flaps, discovering small yet familiar items that had been lost in time– one of them being a sepia-toned polaroid of you and Ben posing dramatically with hilarious doodles drawn on your faces. You forgot about this, feeling a little guilty that you had hidden it away in a drafty box without remembering doing anything of the sort. You flip the picture over and spot a date and an unfinished sentence written in faded ink on the bottom left part. This was taken on Homecoming night.

'I'm not going-' it says, clearly discontinued next to the date. Silly to think that the picture somehow represents a puzzle piece torn away from its board.

You were bound to graduate the week after and barely a day after, not see each other for several years due to your career paths and post-college choices.

You pull on the hem of your shirt, clearing the picture of dust and any more impurities, finally fitting it into your back pocket to finally treasure it the way it was always meant to be treasured.

The door clicks as you bring it close, your eyes gluing themselves at the hardwood floor seconds to having self-pity billow over you at how quickly your tears surface in the corner of your eyes from the memory of Ben spinning Rosy around - the exact way he did with you -and kissing her like she's a pouch full of life.

You clamp down on your bottom lip, trying your hardest not to stain your cheeks with your pooling tears. "Jeez, you just-" you pace back and forth in frustration, balling your fists as you gesticulate lazily, "you just don't get it, Y/N! Ugh, you're so- fuck, just get over it..." Knowing your harsh soliloquy would be getting you nowhere, you snarl strongly at yourself and roughly wipe your tears away with the back of your hand.

"He loves Rosy. F-freaking deal with it!" The reminder takes a hiss from your quivering lips for it to sink in; you have your own place in his life– a place behind the line you'd drawn in the years prior. The friend zone couldn't be any more hollow and cold than it already is.

And a polaroid pic is the only remnant left of how inseparable you and Ben were in the early days.

At the same time you're feeling your heart tear itself apart, Ben pulls out a picture - similar to what you've found - from the inner pocket of his old varsity jacket in the middle of rummaging through his wardrobe. He leaves his room in his pajamas and tosses himself on the couch next to a sleeping Frankie, softly apologizing to the little beagle for disturbing her cat-like nap. As he cuddles Frankie close, he scrutinizes the picture and it's also from Homecoming, but in it both of you are beaming widely with your arms slung around one another– the doodles ever-so-present on your faces. Behind it, the date and the continuation of the trailed-off sentence written at the back of your share of the memory.

'-anywhere at all.'- it ends in Ben's part of the duality. He grins fondly at the long lost picture, feeling twice as guilty for not keeping it safe and...close to his heart, just as he had promised you that night.

- - - - - - - -

In the convenience of Lucy needing some company to shop with for awards season just as she had returned from her get-away with Rami, she drags you along happily, having to pass through you insisting that you stay at home and study but purposefully ending up under her mercy anyway. You couldn't say no to her, she's basically your sparkly, glam counterpart and you're in need of her life-altering sparkles as of now. Especially since you're going to be tagging along with them, mainly as Joe's date cause you know, you're his 'girlfriend' and all.

You're at the mall, in a stylish boutique full of lines of voguish clothing and shoes that could span miles if not compressed together. For once in the hours you've spent scampering around the mall with Lucy to hoard dresses, skin products and make up, you admit that this is the most aesthetically pleasing space in the entire building.

You traipse along a section with black dresses fashioned into different forms, silently praying that what you have with you will amount to at least one of the varying prices.

Lucy's on the opposite side, ogling at the most colorful section in the boutique for a piece to wear. She peers over at you to make sure you've chosen your 'fighter'. A few swishes of the dresses lined up and you do, holding it up high to evaluate the appropriateness.

It's a sleeveless, halter neck satin that's just a few inches above the knee. Utterly backless but it ends right up the small of your back. The fabric is stretchy enough to move around and breathe in as it simultaneously hugs your shape. You love it but gulp as you prepare yourself for the price. Flipping the tag over, you suddenly wish you could let out the biggest, girlish squeal the human race has ever heard with how surprisingly affordable it is.

"Finally picked out yours?" Lucy pokes her head up playfully and you nod, quite speechless but giddy. She makes a grabby hand at your dress to examine it for herself.

Well she's the fashion guru so why not? You hand her the dress and as she trails her eyes from top to bottom, her mouth falls at the simple yet elegant details. "This is perfect! I highly doubt that it's not going to catch every exposed eye present at the event."

Your flush profusely at her comment. "Thanks but I'll be bringing a coat with me."

That triggered her, but of course you're only teasing. "You better effing not." She warns you and you chuckle, taking the dress from her and evenly brushing the skirt.

"I won't, you can sleep soundly tonight."

You assure her of the possibility. As you exit the boutique with a few bags you're not used to holding, Lucy takes out her phone and gasps, her face contorting with a little disbelief. "Uh oh, this might ruin your mood." She hands you the phone and you gape at her confusingly before taking a quick look.

Ben's posted some updates on his wedding preparations, shockingly tagging you, Joe, Gwil and Lucy in one photo. He's pretty busy alright; unable to text or call you for days but miraculously tagging you out of nowhere.

You come to disregard it until you notice one minute but important detail hidden in plain sight in all of his posts– there isn't a single one with him and Rosy together alone. None of such as well on his new ones.

The only post he's had with a close girl is the one with you, which is at the very bottom of his Instagram feed. You won't admit it but it warms your heart a little. Actually, a whole lot despite wondering why there's none of him and his fiancee. You hand Lucy her phone back and tilt your head to one side, suddenly finding the eagerness to go on shopping. "Let's go."

The following week comes as a radial blur contrasted to the slightly moderate one you just woke up from; your manager phoning you up to take the earliest shift you've had in years at the expense of your allotted time to rest, the heavy workload and rush hours in the upcoming hours followed by the slowest progress of filing your travel documents and visa needed for your departure on the 26th. You've got tons of missed calls from your parents and Joe, who's requested for you to pack up early since you'll be leaving for LA with Lucy on the day of the awards but earlier.

Also noting that you still need to double check the costs for flying to LA and back, ruling out the one exclusive for your flight on the 26th.

For mere days you feel as if you could lose your sanity as your life spirals into madness with everything you're required to do– whether or not you're obliged to do it.

But they are effective distractions for that problem you are still very much preoccupied with. That's a matter noteworthy of later discussion. Amidst all the chaos happening, part of you wishes for Ben to reply to your messages or even talk to you in the slightest. You never bothered to call this week since he's tied up but the least he could do is let you know how he's doing, if he's thinking of you once in a thousand passing seconds.

You give up for a day waiting on him and drown yourself in work.

- - - - - - -

Securing your phone between your tilted head and your shoulder as you indulge in your talk with Joe through the line, you crouch and zip your luggage bag close. Your eyes fixating themselves on two, separate luggage bags for two, separate travels.

"Was that all of it?" Joe's disembodied voice asks. You spring up and take your phone between your fingers. "Pretty much. I better have a kick out of something by the time we touchdown tomorrow– it's my first visit to the US." You inform him, leaping into your bed and landing comfortably.

He chortles softly and ensures you. "I know and you can be sure to expect a good par- ow! Bad kitty!" His smooth transition to a yelp amuses you for split second.

"Are you alright? "

"No. I'm finally feline food to my kid." He refers to his pet cat that has taken a small nibble on his finger, in which Joe returns with a light ruffle to its fur. You can't help but giggle heartily at him.

"Anyway, I'm picking you and Lucy up from LAX tomorrow." He gives you that heads up and you bring your hand up to your forehead. "Where will we be staying?"

"I've booked a hotel earlier so you've got nothing to worry about the moment you land." A faint crunch can be heard from your end and you mind to ask Joe about it. "Are you- are you eating?"

To answer your question, he bites down on his food sloppily and guarantees you of what you heard. You smack your lips together as your eyes narrow in bewilderment.

"Does that answer your question?"

"Sometimes you make it easier for me to hit you with a pillow."

"Is that how you treat your boyfriend?" He taunts at you and cackles, his distorted voice bouncing off of the walls of your room. You sigh, defeated by the fact that this charade is still going on. It's silly and immature yet you and Joe somehow managed to stick to the act.

"Speaking of boyfriend though– would he be furious if I told him that I couldn't be there on his wedding day?" Since you're rested and got nothing else to distract you, you pop the question to Joe.

"Ben?"

You hum softly.

"There are two scenarios that we need to consider," on his end, Joe taps his finger on his lips as he thinks of said scenarios, "Best case scenario- he would get discouraged and slightly unmotivated, and obviously sad, but he'd still support you cause that's your dream."

You sit up and twirl the ends of your hair around your finger, swallowing. "And worst case scenario?"

Joe falls silent before exhaling harshly. "You'd crush his soul, heart, everything ranging from physical to spiritual and it would take a toll– and I mean a substantial toll on your friendship."

"Joe, don't make it sound like a prospect! "

"That is, " he adds strongly, "if he finds out that you had meant for him to be oblivious to it." And he's right. But you had a reason. You still do. Even if you do end up telling him and he supports you, you need a great deal of space to move on.

As long as he's committed to Rosy and you're in the sidelines still in love with him, it's just something toxic. You couldn't love anybody they way you do Ben and you feel like you'll never love someone like him ever again. Albeit how clueless he is sometimes and clumsy, you both had survived every storm and wave. So sticking around to witness him give his hand and heart to someone else is torture for you.

"I'm gonna be direct and say-" just as you begin talking, your phone shrills to another caller, cutting you off from Joe.

One look at the screen and your heart begins racing. Speak of the devil. You reserve an explanation for cutting off and answer Ben, clearing your throat. "You're late."

Ben's gruff chuckle welcomes you back. "I know, I'm so sorry. Busiest week I've had and the lady at Starbucks signed my cup like a snail."

"What are you doing tonight that requires coffee?"

"Call me dramatic- or do so, given that I'm an actor- but I just want to stargaze right now." You hear a light rustle coming from his end, like he's seated out on his lawn.

Silently giving him the 'oh really' look, you spread one side of the curtain to let some moon light in. "Ben, you're leaving early tomorrow."

He hums, seemingly enjoying himself. "But that's not an excuse to not enjoy the night." This boy can not get any cornier. You cast your gaze upon the moon, sighing profoundly. "How did the wedding planning go? Good?"

"Hm, yeah. Church wedding, big reception. Whole lot of booze binging planned out. And a killer bachelor party the day after the awards. " He jokes through the line and you tell him off in a playful chide. "Benjamin Jones, you better-"

"I won't. I won't." You sense his gentle smile from your end, checking the time and reluctantly coming to the decision to hit the hay since you'll be leaving early as well. As much as you want to recreate those late night conversations you once had with him, you can't.

"Hey?" You coo somehow.

"Yeah?"

"I gotta sleep. I have to meet Lucy at the airport at 5."

He gives out a throaty grunt as if he's pulling himself up. "Tragic. I'll see you in LA then, love."

Your lips curl up into the gentlest smile with the moonlight blessing it from the window. "You too. Tell yourself and the rest- especially Brian and Roger- that I'm gonna be rooting for you guys to get up on that stage."

"I will. Thanks for the motivation, Y/N. All the words coming from you just mean so much to me. To all of us." And in his voice, you can hear his utmost sincerity and fondness just highlighting his tone.

"Anytime. Now let me sleep, you bloke. "

"Haha, alright. Love you tons, love."

Shifting your eyes to the sky once more, you reply, allowing the words you're about to say to mean more.

"I love you too, Ben. Good night."

- - - - - - -

24th

You had promised Lucy you'd arrive 10 minutes earlier than her and you really didn't hold on to that promise. As soon as you arrive at the airport nearly bathing in sweat and deaf from the multiple rings Lucy has given you, you both take off to the waiting area with your heavy luggage where you spend an hour and a half waiting for your flight to board. Joe has sent two texts telling you that he's still in the middle of having coffee and it's a questionable action since he's 8 hours behind you and is expected to be asleep by now.

You reply with a simple, "See you there" before heeding to the call of your flight number from the speakers.

All the rushing and you haven't had a bite of breakfast yet. An eleven hour flight doesn't sound so bad, as long as you make sure you don't reel everytime you get up to use the bathroom and acquire jet lag the moment you land from a direct flight without any pit stops. The flight is long as you are awake but by the time you fall asleep in between hours, it shortens the duration. The pilot announcing your arrival wakes you and Lucy from the latest nap you've had on the plane. After gathering your luggage and answering a couple of phone calls on you way down the plane, the arrival area is where you spy Joe behind the red tapes, a scarf around his neck and an eager look plastered on his pale skin, just waiting for you and Lucy to step in. His eyes crinkle as he sees you both treading towards him with a handful of luggage. He greets you both with a tight hug and ushers you to his car, assisting with the transport of your things.

He's booked you in the hotel he's staying in to, of course, avoid some minor inconveniences especially since the awards start at 7 pm and you drastically need Lucy to help you prepare. Upon reaching the hotel, he leads the both of you up the second floor and into the hall for your rooms.

Apparently you and Lucy will be sharing which is the great and Joe will be staying in the room right across yours.

After giving yourselves a brief tour of the room, you settle in and unpack your essentials.

"Y/N, bring out your fighter!" Lucy declares with a giggle, pulling the dress she's chosen from her suitcase. It's a purple, off-the-shoulder, crepe satin and black velvet gown that cascades gracefully against the stable air.

Your eyes widen in awe at how it looks against the light. "No need for a match, Luce. You win," you raise your hands up in surrender, "that's- that's catching more eyes. From Rami of course."

"Oh shut it. You'll look smooth in black." She clicks her tongue and smoothens it at the edge of the bed. You whip out yours and hold it up high, wavering a little at how you'll look like in it tonight. How fortunate you were to find 3-inch, black pumps closeted when you were 'panic packing' the night before. You take it out from your suitcase and set it aside before striding towards the blinds, pulling it up and beholding the breathtaking view of Hollywood before you.

Your first visit to the US and you're already headed to the Oscars. This isn't the real life. This is just fantasy.

- - - - - - - -

"We're having a dinner party afterwards, I don't see any reason for two sandwiches before the ceremony." Staring blankly at how Joe's handling waiting for you and Lucy to emerge from your room, Rami purses his lips quizzically– he's come by to pick up his girl as well. The two men look dashingly handsome in their black tuxes and slick hairstyles– their individual charm strong as they highly anticipate for your appearances.

Joe swallows the chunk in his mouth before speaking. "I'm stressed."

"About what?"

He bites down on his last sandwich, dusting his hands off crumbs as he reasons out. "It's the Oscars. Biggest ceremony of the year."

With a shake of his head, Rami opens his mouth to protest but pauses as the creak of the door behind them butts in their conversation. Lucy - exquisite in her cascading satin gown and look dotted in light to moderate make up - emerges with her purse in hand and eyes heady on Rami.

Joe wishes he could loosen some hinges in Rami's jaw since the latter has got his mouth agape at her girlfriend's evening look. To him, she is his ultimate award and he wouldn't have it in any other way.

"Hey, babe." Lucy smiles delicately and kisses Rami's cheek, to which he responds with a breathless, "Luce, you look..." His starstruck silence finishing his compliment for her. Joe hums, agreeing with crossed arms. "I wish I was as pretty as you, Boynton."

"You boys look handsome, too." Lucy giggles softly and Joe begins to wonder. "Where's Y/N?"

"She'll be out in three...two..." As Lucy deliberately pauses her countdown, you come out of the room, head down as you feel a bit hesitant to continue but you regain your confidence and look up timidly– your appearance putting Joe in the same position Rami was just in with Lucy. The dress really agrees to your form, contouring every curve of your body in a semi-sensual way, guaranteeing that you'll be snagging some looks tonight. Your (H/C) hair frames your face intricately with your light make-up emphasizing the color of your eyes and lips. The light brush of air against the skin of your exposed back makes you clutch your purse tighter, deeming it uncomfortable.

Lucy smiles proudly at her work and that is you. "Well, how does she look Joe?"

Joe lets out a hitched exhale, hazel eyes wide as a sinkhole and a slacked jaw struggling to budge. "Like my girlfriend."

"You wish." You can't help but retort playfully and he brings his finger up to his lips, hushing you. Rami compliments you as well and you thank him as the four of you make your way to the elevator– your arm on Joe's and Lucy's on Rami's.

You've taken a limo for the sake of convenience, since Joe and Rami wanted to propose a pre-toast - with the champagne present in the vehicle - to their successes and hard work in the past year. You have faith they'd bring home an Oscar; considering how spectacular their work was portraying the members of Queen. You're also thrilled that you're about to meet Brian and Roger.

The limo parks just across Dolby Theatre and the four of you climb out, making your way arms-in-arms into the place crowded with paparazzi and attendees. You see yourself as a small fish swimming in a sea full of majestic dolphins. This is the big leagues right here and you're not even one bit of a celebrity– at least you feel like you aren't one. After a couple of shoulder brushes with either familiar and unfamiliar faces and escaping the blinding flashes of the cameras, the four of you reunite with Gwilym who has Roger and Brian present by his side. You are introduced to the two Queen members by Joe and you couldn't be any more happier to meet them in person. A couple of moments of interacting with the rest of the crew and cast, Ben joins the 'party' looking sharp and admittedly drop-dead gorgeous in his white tuxedo blazer and slicked back hair with Rosy by his side.

Before he could even reply to the greetings of his friends, he lays his eyes on you and for a while– his pupils dilate and his expression flits faster than he can command it to. He can't believe what or who he is seeing before him amidst all the glam. Letting go of Rosy's hand for a minute, he steps close to you, indescribably captivated. "Y/N...h-hey."

You keep your composure, musing back. "Hey. You look left out, outfit-wise, and a like a million bucks."

It takes him nearly five seconds to reply with the way hes has his eyes transfixed on you. It's like he's seeing you for the first time. Your evening look setting him back to Homecoming night and something inside him just tweaks. You avoid his mindless gaze and break the silence, trying your hardest not to flush. "Ben, please talk. It's just really-"

"You look...beautiful." He breathes out like he had just gotten up from under water.

#queen #borhap #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast #borhap cast x reader #borhap imagine #joe mazzello #ben hardy fanfic #imagine #fanfic

[jennsmischievousmind]

EXSOMNIS

CHAPTER 4 - Two birds, no stone

Exsomnis: Wakeful, vigilant

Summary: Fresh Doctor out of residency you didn’t expect Conyers to be this uneventful until everything happened at the same time. From the outset, an odd meeting with what seems like a steadfast Detective but it was only the beginning.

Notes: English is not my native language, I’m trying to get better at it, please be indulgent.

Based on the movie Prisoners by Denis Villeneuve (so I don’t own any of the OG characters) if you haven’t seen it, I recommend you do (maybe before reading) :) The story takes place before and through the event in the movie.

 Thanksgiving was around the corner, meaning you were short on staff at the hospital leaving you no time to spend at home. Erin and Rachel were at Rach’s parents, they had tried to convince you to come but family dinners were not your thing, even more with a family you practically don’t know.  

2 days before Thanksgiving you crossed paths with Detective Loki. Since last time you didn't really have time to meet, so you took a few minutes around a coffee to catch up. He noted that you were alone on Thanksgiving’s night so managed to invite you for dinner. 

 “Dr Y/L/N, I’m sorry but we need you to stay on shift tonight, we’re shorthanded.” The HR announced as you were taking your break. You cursed under your breath, the HR gave you an apologetic smile. Phone in hand, waiting for Loki to pick-up you hoped he was busy too, it would make it easier.

“Hey,” he answered, you heard rustling papers, he was surely at work, you huffed alleviate.

“Hi, uhm, I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it tonight. Got to stay at the hospital. Understaffed.” You announced at once, ripping off the bandage as fast as possible. He could understand, it’s kind of the same at the station. He inhaled on the other side of the phone.

“Duty is duty, don’t worry.”

“Come out next year, and we'll do it all over again ok?” you heard him chuckle

“Let’s do that but not next year.” He offered hopefull.

“Agreed, see you soon then.” You bid goodbyes wishing each other a happy Thanksgiving.

 Little did you know after your call he asked to stay on shit for the night.

  A few hours later, you were finally free from the Hospital but you frowned as soon as you put a foot outside. By the time you reached your car you were soaked, the heavy rain whipped your windshield, making driving difficult indeed it took you twice the time to head home. It was 2 am on your kitchen clock, you wondered if Loki was still up, you texted him not expecting an immediate answer so went to bed immediately.

You woke up around 9am, dragging your overly tired self to the coffee machine, checking your phone while the hot liquid filled the big cup. Rach and Erin had ranted about how Thanksgiving at Rach’s parents went horribly awkward. Erin had even sent a ‘rescue me’ video from Rach’s parents’ toilet in the group chat, you couldn’t help yourself to smile and blessed yourself for not going.

No answer from Loki, you felt this inescapable pang in your stomach when you find yourself led, in the blink of an eye, to question your own emotional life.

Then your phone buzzed.

“Busy, talk to you soon, sorry. Loki” you stayed silent reading the text multiple times, somehow relieved that he had answered but not quite sure of how to render the text. Trying to find something to say, you finally decided for an “Ok sure.”

You drink your coffee lost in your thoughts, heading to the living room. The news on TV blurting the Thanksgiving usual hazards: Snowy roads; traffic jams; accidents; lost items in turkeys...

“Yesterday in the usually quiet town of Conyers, Thanksgiving turned into a horrid day for two families. Two little girls disappeared in broad daylight. Soon one suspect was in custody, he was apparently driving an RV that was parked in the girls’ neighbourhood early in the day. He tried to run away with his vehicle when found at a gas station parking late last night. The two girls are still missing as we speak.”

“Damn it.” you shook your head sighing, what is wrong with people you thought while listening to the news and at the same time checking your sns.

“Detective Loki from the Conyers Department of Police has been appointed to the case.”

Raising your head from your phone, mouth agape at the TV, you rewind all the pieces of information in your mind. If you had known sooner you would have said something else in the text. Long minutes passed, during which you wondered if you should send him another message. The blinking cursor in the box "new message" seemed to became impatient until the buzz of a call made you jump. 

“Y/N, have you heard about ...!? A honk made you put the phone away from your ears. Only two words “Loki”, “abduction” were audible.

“Hello to you too, yes I’ve just heard, that’s awful!”

“Yeah, hi, definitely not good timing for you though!”

“Erin!” you scolded and heard Rachel do the same. 

“Okay okay, just trying to lighten the mood.” she apologized.

“Where are you by the way?” you turned the TV off.

“Traffic jams.” She sighed, another honk resonated in the phone, you heard Rachel swear at another driver.

“Tell me when you’re home. And ... we should stop the night’s run for now just in case.”

“I wish we had to stop for another reason.”

“Yeah, call me okay.”

“Yeah bye.”

Instead of the usual run, you met with the girls for board games, usually, it involved a bottle of wine and Rachel’s exquisite cuisine. 

“Okay, hear me out” she put her glass on the ground, you rolled your eyes. All night she had asked about Loki.

“What about your needs Y/N? I feel like you're waiting for him to finally give you some time of his, as you're not a priority.”

“I'm not a priority right now Erin.” You sipped on your wine. 

“You know what I mean. I am just afraid that you're making his needs overpass yours without taking care of how you feel in all of that.” Her hands making big gestures, you grabbed them.

“We’re not even a couple or something, calm down! you smiled, I'm not blinded by the guy, I know what I worth, what I deserve. And my needs, for now, are fine thank you.” You stifled a laugh at her frowning face. 

“I shouldn’t have pushed for something to happen between you two.” she said questioning her cupid skills

“Ok, you released her hands and continued, look at me back in Cleveland, the exams took over me, the internship at the hospital was a disaster and how many times did you present me a guy?” 

“Lots of times…” she mumbled

“Yeah, and you want to know why it never worked out?”

“They were assholes.” She grimaced

“Hm mostly yeah, but I wasn't ready to be in a relationship! My mind was elsewhere, I had no time to take care of my physical and mental health as much as I should have. It was a hard time, you witnessed it.”

She nodded admitted it.

“I’m fine now but I can't crash into his life like that and take his focus out of this case especially because I know it won’t work out since he is concentrating on his duty.” 

“I got it okay, but there will always be another case and did he text you or something …”

“I know but I like to think we'll have a moment of respite. And he’s not quite the texter but that’s fine by me, you know I’m not a good morning and good night's texts kind of person.”

She stared at you squinting her eyes, you mimicked her wondering.

“You really want the guy!” she caught you so off guard that you almost spit your wine.

“Miss the point by miles, you cough, but yeah let's say that.” You both cracked into laughter. She was still a bit concerned, but she got around in the end.

40hours after the abduction, no sign of Loki except on the news, thankfully you had lots of work at the hospital so you didn't have time to let your mind wander.

When you heard the indictment of the paedophile priest, you almost threw a tantrum in the break room.

“How the fuck that asshole is still in charge of a church, he is surrounded by children all the fucking day!” you screamed at the tv, scaring the surgeon next to you, some students looked at you from the lunch table. The ringtone coming from your pocket made you walk out and step outside on the emergency staircase allowing you to take some fresh air.

“Hi there..,”

“Hey, I'm sorry I didn't call sooner”

“No no, it's okay I've seen the news. I know you have a lot to do ... and the freaking priest ... I mean why is that guy still out there.”

“I don't know Y/N, I'm not a judge.” He answered with a tight voice.

“Right sorry, I jumped on you, it's just that..it's really upsetting.” you sighed rubbing your eyes.

A 2-seconds silence felt, giving you both opportunity to breathe in and change the subject.

“Are you all right?” You asked

“Tired mostly, he inhaled, I wish .. I could see you without feeling guilty .. but my mind is on the case..” 

“Hey hey, you shushed gently, it's okay, they are the priority here.”

“Why didn't we met at another time.” He said gravely.

“At least we've met, even though you had to be stabbed for it to happen.” He chuckled over the phone. “I have to go back, be careful out there.”

“You got my word.”

He hung up, you took a big breath of fresh air before stepping back in the building, thinking of what he said. What would have happened if you had met at another time?

Erin bumped into you. 

“The community is organizing a vigil in front of the Birch’s house tomorrow night, she handed you a flyer, you’re coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll drop by your place so we can go together.” she nodded and you sighed looking at the face of the two little girls on the handout.

Chapter 5: Respect all, trust few soon

#detective loki x reader #prisoners #detective loki #exsomnis #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal imagines #slow burn #imagines #fanfiction #keller dover #alex jones #hugh jackman #paul dano #reader insert

[lantilay-blog]

Title:Is it over yet?

(*Warning*dealing with drugs and mental health)

Look I didn’t want to be here, I don’t wanna wind up on the news. “Caucasion boy found half dead on an alleyway.”I swear if you're reading this and your thinking about it, I swear dude I will beat your ass myself. Be an idiot and die or don’t be an idiot like yours truly, and go to school gosh darnit

Being someone like me sucks, and why would you want to be me?

My name is Dravite Russo and I live in Memphis Tennessee (TE) Probably on the ranking for most dangerous cities. The part of Memphis I live in, Beale street isn’t particularly the worst of the entire city but you know...I moved here a couple years ago when I was about 9-years old and I left a lot of family and friends behind that I cared for deeply. I knew I couldn't be sad about leaving some and forgetting some so... I had to change my attitude quickly and forget about it like it was nothing.

New town means new school! I went to Peabody Elementary School and the first week of school was actually pretty laid back. Teachers acted chill too and it meant a non-stressful year for me. I was a top A student and people at my old school wouldn't talk to me because of it. They thought I was too smart for them, basically snobby I guess.Your probably thinking I was lonely, but actually no. I was so occupied with school and the work that comes with it, that I almosted didn't have time for mutual talking or hanging and even taking a minute out my day to breathe. Feelings and expression and even talking to classmates didn't happen.

I was basically a walking school and ate all the teachers. Looking back now I think I wanted to know everything in order to be enough, but see the problem is that nobody knows everything. What was even the point? There’s a lot of parents who see that their child got an 80 and still aren't happy. My parents never missed a chance to say “good job” or even rewarding me with something. Apparently it wasn't enough, I guess I don't want attention, I just wanted to get the work done and graded and move to the next one.

I couldn’t even tell you what made me so insecure about how people viewed me. It's really confusing because I didn't care what people said or how they looked me up and down in the hallways. Future me sees a big insecure kid wanting attention and recognition but also not wanting it at all.Or to even cause the slightest bit of trouble. I felt like a nobody without my knowledge and school in general.

When I went home I’d study till I passed out and for homework I knew the answers were right but I made sure I looked it up in textbooks and looked it up online just in case. Then I’d do an additional practice and then get on with my night at this point… I could have been a prodigy but the sound of skipping grades to be put in higher classes just because I was smart wasn't really gonna work out for me.

I wanted to be able to work hard for those grades and also feel like I did work my ass off. Even if I understood something I wanted to understand it more and more.

When middle school came along, everything changed. I started staying up later because I had a lot more homework and tests to study for. I started to even join some after school activities like newspaper and yearbook club. I started worrying about my grades even though they were good, I still felt nervous somehow. I was starting to get overwhelmed, or impatient that my grades haven’t been updated.

I was in my 8th grade year and still haven't made a single friend. Getting up each day felt worse than the next and not getting enough sleep was because of it. I almost felt like I was falling behind even though my grades again were good. I really felt forced to be productive even though I was the main source causing me to and feel.

I've started to feel stressed and very scared for the future. I kept thinking what would have been the point if none of my time and effort got me a good job or got me in a good college first of all. I thought I wasn't even gonna be good enough after all this. I might have just been in the 8th grade but time was already moving without me so I had to catch up. I’m already lost and pretending not to be.

Then comes highschool. Highschool is… a very interesting place, for many and just overall something. Highschool is one of the most important times for you. It's time to really pay attention and actually do your homework and study till you pass out once again. It might not be college but it's almost like a preparation for you to get ready.

High School was really hard for me believe it or not. Your over productive kid that never chills out says

“ he has a hard time.’’ I know how it sounds but hear me out please…

August 7th 2015, 4 years ago, I was a 16 year old junior going to Central High school. I was in my AP Physics C class and I’m called down to the office. When I get down to the office, one of the principles directs me towards the back to her room. She told me to sit down and before she speaks, she takes a deep breath and w hen she closed her mouth to finish and opens it again to say “I’m sorry,” I think I zoned out for a minute and almost vomit.

I remember not being able to speak, but all I heard her say was, “dead, family.” mom, sister and my dad, had been in a car accident and ended up dying in the hospital nearby. I never thought this… or something like this would happen to me. I remember thinking I worked so hard just to be disappointed. I was thinking now there gonna send me to an orphanage and forget this ever happened.

One of the teachers had to take me to see seem them. I appreciate the one teacher, Misses. Roxxnne for taking time out of her job to take me to see my family. She was actually one of those teachers that didn't treat you just like a student. When we got to the hospital I remember feeling some anxiety and having to force myself through the slide doors. They told us which room each of them were in and we visited them one by one.

Each bruise, cut and wound was hard to look at. Maybe it would of been a lot different if they were actually alive but there not. There... dead and didn't take me with them or why couldn't it just be me with my selfish longing for attention. I tried to hold myself together for Misses.Roxann but once I seen my little sister I just broke down. I never felt this hurt, betrayed, and lost before, makes me wonder how am I supposed to even feel sometimes...Now that I have no family I’m an orphan now. Will wait for years just to be disappointed again. I don’t want a new family, I want my family. I've already seen reality and I know I won't ever get them back and surely if I want a new family it won't be anytime soon.

Nobodys gonna even want a 16 year old. They'll want the younger kids. They have more years with the younger ones so it makes sense. Where Would I go anyway. .It’s not like I can go anywhere so I guess home sweet home...

Let me reintroduce myself. I’m Dravite Russo, I’m 20 years old and have a drug addiction.

Later in school when my addiction started I never paid attention, “class what does not paying attention result to” failing your tests or just in generel not having a fucking clue what’s happening! Come on it’s not that difficult, it especially shouldn't be difficult when teachers offered candy for whoever had that right answer…

I ended up dropping out my junior year when this all happened. I didn't have a lot of family around where I lived so I was forced to live at a good for nothing orphanage. A lot of people think that will have a better life there, but you don’t. You either got a chance to miss your family or missing the fact you never had one. when we do find the one it's certainly not going to be any time soon, like I said.

Throughout highschool and growing up and going through it and all that shit you know. I was really lost and felt lonely and when I found drugs… It really did change my life in a negative and positive way, believe it or not

LDS, Lysergic acid dieth ...something like that but for short acid. What it effects are thoughts, feelings and awareness of surroundings. You hear and see crap that’s not there apparently. See having a high person such as myself try and explain what they're high on isn’t the wisest choice. I mean I know what I’m taking but also don’t really care.

You're probably wondering why I didn't want to wound up on the news dead... Earlier today I decided to walk to the gas station near my aparment and before going I took 4 sheets of LSD. If you want to get to the gas station there's an alley you walk through or drive through. I was about to be right by the store and I immediately fall to the ground. Tears and the acid coming out of my mouth and nose, coughing and choking on my own doing. I couldnt breath, my heart was jumping out of my chest. I really thought I was gonna freaking die and I wasn't damn near ready to die yet.

I’m in the hospital now and a couple of investigators and police people dudes informed me that I won't be charged but will have to go to rehab obviously… When I got to my room I really pondered for a moment about everything. I didn't wanna come out of rehab and do the same shit again so i'll make it my goal. I have to pledge to become free of drugs. To be free from toxic things.

Police report: 8/10/19, Caucasion boy was investigated and was found addicted to LDS and was found in an alleyway found half dead. He was later sent to a hospital and treated and was free from any charges. He was sent to rehab after a week from being in the hospital.8/16/19, 0800 (8:00 am) Dravite Russo was found dead faced down in his bathtub and was assumed to have taken sleeping pills on the side of the tub and a few on the floor. He was prosomed to die at 0300 (3:00 am) hours. in the morning.

Please give me some opinions and critical comments I’d really appreciate it!

#creativewriters #creative wrting #creative #writing #mental health #life #realism #art #short story

[irepookie]

Infinity Chapter 4-

Meet The Family (PT.1)

Summary: QUEEN AU where Rog (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swearwords here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine

John: Rick Lincoln (Cause he is John Richard Deacon born on August 19th 1951™™™™™)

Brian: Terry Garrett (Cause my uncle used to have a black puddle named Terry and I had no choice)

Freddie: Len Mars (Yea I couldn't help myself)

Chapter 4- Row opens up with the boys about the raisin.

“I'm a dad”........

"Okay, let's... let's get over this again: A daughter?" Terry, the band's guitarist couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes, Terry. A daughter" Row repeated for the 19th time from the other side of the phone.

"A baby." Len said, taking another sip of his tequila.

"No, a 30 year old alpaca." Row said sarcastically. "Yes, a goddamn baby. Fucking gorgeous, just so you know"

"And you're gonna keep her." Rick, who had been quietly plunking his bass' strings, added. "Are you sure?"

"It's done. I've already kept her. And it's not like I'm rescuing a shelter dog. She's mine. Period."

"Sorry, was just trying to... Wrap my head around it"

To be honest, Row still couldn't quite believe it (that he was a father). Not even now, as he tried to convince his best friends while holding his girl with the other arm.

"And is your mom okay with it?" Terry asked

He scoffed, clutching his Lil raisin close at the thought "My mom has no say in this".

"But she knows" Rick said.

He sighed "Yes, she knows. And she was a bitch about it, okay? She can disown me for all I care". It's not like there was much to inherit, anyway.

There was a general sigh from his three best friends.

"And what are you gonna do?"

" 'bout what?"

"Um, I don't know, man. About School? Maybe about your life in general?"

"School ain't something I'm worrying about".

"What a surprise" Rick rolled his eyes.

"But you're still in the band right?" Len said

"Oh, of course. Of course. You guys are gonna be the only ones keeping me sane"

They chuckled

"But we ain't gonna babysit for you, huh?"

"As if you knew anything about babies"

"Well, the same as you." Terry said

"Just what I was saying: nothing at all" Row grinned

"Her future looks bright, then" Len half teased.

"Incandescent, in fact" Row could pretty much hear Terry's arched eyebrow.

The youngest member could only roll his eyes and try not to take it as an insult. He knew this was a lot to process all of a sudden and that in the inside, beyond the sarcasm and teasing, they were happy for him.

"Whatever, guys" he replied, as Pips began to frown. He sighed, knowing that meant smelly treat was on its way "Gotta go. By the way, she just told me she thinks you guys stink" he grinned, before hanging up.

The other three men exchanged a confused glance, and stayed in silence for a minute, until Len broke it:

"I say he'll go completely nuts in seven days".

"That long? Nah, I think less than 24 hours after they leave the hospital." Terry said

Len smirked "Bet?"

"I'm a bit tight at the moment, pal"

"Then not money. If I win, you'll be my model for the midterm design project. It's 30's fashion. For ladies, of course".

"Ok. But if I win you'll do my chores for a whole weeks."

"A whole week?!"

"Seven days, if you prefer it."

They shook hands "Deal. Rick? Join us?"

"I actually rather believe that they'll be alright" Rick got up and stretched.

"Well of course they will. Eventually. Row always figures things out." T said

"The fun part is to watch him go crazy in the meantime" Len chuckled "Like when he first moved in and left a fork in the plate when first using the microwave"

They laughed, remembering how their friend had called them at 9 PM in panic, screaming the microwave had exploded.

"Let's just hope for the best. I mean he seemed quite sure of himself this time. And who knows, maybe being a dad is the best way to grow up." Rick defended

"Yea, well a bit radical, don't you think?" Len said

"Like sock therapy. If smokers quit when diagnosed with lung cancer, maybe Row settles down now he has a baby"

"I just still don't get why he didn't just put her in adoption" T said

Rick shrugged "Would you if you were in his shoes?"

"Absolutely"

"That's exactly how Row would've answered, say, a week ago. That's what we all answer. Until it really happens. I think it's one of those situations where you can't really picture until you live it."

"But this is Rowan Queen we're talking about. Rowan <<Made out with both Jones Twins at the same party Cause I didn't remember which was which>> Queen. I mean, he does know that a kid is gonna freeze his sex life for indefinite time, right? What the hell was going through his head?" Terry said

"I can't believe you think that." Len interjected "I mean, I'm the one who's never gonna be a dad here, and the one who failed biology, but even I get it. He met her right? Before any decision was made, he met her. Once you meet your kid, you're tangled up forever. And you might think you're not but if you give them away you'll never get rid of a feeling of remorse."

"Wow, Lenny, that was deep"

"Yea, where'd you get that from?"

"Just common sense."

"Funny, considering you're the one who's started the bet" Rick grinned

"One thing doesn't prevent the other. And out of the two of us, I'm the optimistic! He gave him one day, I gave him seven! I trust him"

"Well I'm not sure if I do. I mean, I love him, he's a great guy, a great musician, and everything else, but he's not reliable. Remember his first job as a waiter? I'm still waiting for the fish and chips I ordered last April"

The other two chuckled "I once lent him a t-shirt, and I swear I saw Liz Michael's wearing it" Len said

"See what I mean?"

"Yes, well, we can't do anything about it, T. It's his life"

"But this affects us too, one way or another. This affects the band. And he didn't even consult us"

"Well what did you expect him to do? Call and go <<Hey guys, are you fine with me having a daughter? No? Okay, just checking. Bye>>?" Rick imitated a phone with his hand, doing a decent impression of their friend's high voice.

"A head's up would have been nice"

"Terry, just chill for fucks shake. I mean, this is unexpected, but Row's our best friend, our brother, and we have to support him. Because, if he's a dad, that's makes us her uncle's. And it'll be fun having a little niece we can spoil" Len smiled at the idea.

"Spoil? With what money?" Terry, always realistic, put his hands on his hips

"With the upcoming tour's, of course darlings" he twirled majestically around the room

"First, that's in four months" Rick reminded

"If it does happen at all"

They still had one last song to arrange And record. Plus, they didn't know how Row was gonna make it work now he had a baby. But nobody addressed that concern out loud.

"Oh don't be so goddamn negative, fellas! C'mon! We're uncle's! Row's made a very important, life-changing, mature decision, and we should be proud of him. So" he went to the fridge and returned with three beers "I say we toast for him and the lil Queenie"

The other two grinned and accepted the cans, opening them.

"Oh, I say we Split a fourth beer in his behalf, cause parents shouldn't drink while breastfeeding" Terry mocked, earning a laugh

"To the Queens" Rick raised his can "For our little bro to take this seriously and not fuck this kid up"

"To the Queens" Terry and Len crashed theirs as well.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Meanwhile, in the hospital...

"Goddamn it, raisin! How can someone so small produce so many colors of something so stinky?" Row exclaimed, holding his breath as he clipped the fresh nappy on his daughter "We only feed you milk! Like... Like white milk! How can you turn a white liquid into rainbow pudding? Holy shit" he held the dirty one at arms length and threw it in the bin "It's a damn good thing I love you, cause I won't do this for anyone else" he told her, lifting her up to his chest again before walking around the room

"You gonna be a good girl for me for the next eighteen years? Huh?" He kissed her chubby cheek "What am I saying? You're my daughter, of course you're gonna be a trouble maker. But we'll get along, you'll see. I ain't gonna be like my parents. Don't worry. I won't be a bloody pain in the ass like mom, and I will never ever do anything my old man did. That I can promise. But I gotta admit I do want you to be like Gina. Yea, she's a control freak sometimes, but let's face it: she's gotta be the strongest person I've ever met. You should've seen her kicking the bastard out the house. She took no shit."

He smiled somewhat proudly at the memory, and for a second forgot how mad he was at her for turning her back on them.

"You wanna be a badass gurl like her? Huh? Yes you do. Yes you do" he cooed, craning his neck so he could brush his nose with her little button one. Her fist chose to close around the nearest strands of blond hair on reach, which he found secretly adorable.

But a part of him did wish he had mom's support. After all, despite the rough patches through his teens, they had always had each other's back; through thick and thin. She had have to raise him all alone, and although he hadn't even begun with Pips, he already knew it hadn't been easy. She may be stern, and a bit inflexible when it came to negotiating allowance. She could come across as rude if you caught her in the wrong mood (which many neighbors had) but above all she was a good person and a good mother.

And looking back, he hadn't been such a great son. He could have been more responsible, less handful and more obedient. Less rebellious, too. He could have thanked her more often for the thousand things she did everyday. For the meals. For all the jobs she had taken to provide for the two of them. For the surprise birthday gift she had got him with the money she had been saving: a real drum kit. For helping him move out her house into that one room crappy appartement which would be Pip's home.

But still she had rejected Piper without a second thought, regardless of her anger towards him; Pips was her granddaughter, she had done nothing wrong and as her father, Row doubted he would ever forgive Gina.

He sighed, untangling the hand of his hair and bringing it to his lips "But you don't have to worry about all that. Just concentrate on staying strong and growing up. And I promise I'll focus all of me on being the best dad. That you'll never miss a mom cause you don't need one. You've got me and I swear I'll be enough. Even if I'm still young: I'll have it all more fresh won't I?" He grinned "You're the one person who's never judged me yet, and I don't wanna let you down"

That a was vow. And he was determined to keep it.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

This one goes to my mega-paragraphist @definitely-darcy who's got my engine going through the usual inspiration blocks, and who's reviews help me improve. She's made me believe in this fic, and encouraged me to keep going despite the one digit notes.

Xx- Pookie

#queen band #roger taylor #single dad! roger taylor #dad roger #brian may #Freddie Mercury #john deacon #queen fic #no smut just fluff #non romantic #Infinity fic #baby prune

[scorchedshipwreck]

highschool?

it just gets worse lmao. most of this probably didnt appear on the news or anything bc our school knew how to keep shit on the down low but feel free to google some of these events. I have several stories from the various schools I've been to so feel free to ask for more

HUGE tw!!!!!!: attempted murder, drugs, school shootings, stabbing, tetanus, succeeded murder.

-this cops came in with drug dogs and found out a kid was selling drugs out of his locker and the kid was being uncooperative so the officer grabbed him by the neck and almost choked that mf out.the kid wasn't expelled for having drugs btw, just suspended for the week bc his parents told the school that if he was expelled they'd do something about the police officer literally almost killing him or something like that. thinking back it made no sense bc that was the officer's fault not the school's but idk.

-that same kid's parents came in after he was expelled for something or other and they came up and threatened to shoot up the school and we had a lockdown for like 4 hours. during said lockdown 5 kids were having an orgy in the fucking band room closet.

-kids were smoking in the bathrooms, having sex in the bathrooms, writing swear words on the stalls, wetting paper towels and sticking them to stuff, etc etc. so they removed the doors and got bathroom monitors who would fucking stare you down while you peed. one got caught fucking a senior girl but she was already 18 so nobody really did anything :/

-one kid stabbed a fucking teacher with this dull rusty kitchen knife. twice. on school grounds. during school hours. with a whole class of witnesses. unprovoked. the police and hospital was called. the kid freaked out and the cops tased him. like. way more than necessary. he was limp on the fucking floor and the cops just kept. fucking. tasing him. teacher ended up getting tetanus and dying. never saw the kid again. we got to get out of school early tho :/

#public school #public school in america #childhood story #shipwreck shrieks #shitpost #storytime

[themikewheelers]

tell me about your photoshop troubles. i have had the same in the past (specifically #THE AMOUNT OF VIRUSES I'VE HAD ON MY COMPUTER) and it's good to know someone else has them too 😂😂

Okay so it started last week. I've been "Photoshopping" things for years now but I've always used knockoff programs and never bothered to get the actual thing. So I decide to make an edit and I want to try using actual Photoshop this time, so FIRST I go to download the episodes but the fucking download program I got,,,,, it's in GERMAN. So I'm opening google translate and attempting to do this download, then it just crashes and it doesn't work. So then I get a rec from my friend for a good ENGLISH WORKING SAFE program so I get that and download it and the episodes. Day 1 is over. Next day I decide to download photoshop and fucking,,,,,, it's in SPANISH. Now I've been taking Spanish for 3 years now so it's to the point where I'm like "Okay I know that archivo means file so I'm just gonna stick with this" so I run downstairs and I pick up that old Spanish English dictionary I bought 3 years ago for my first Spanish class and haven't opened since, and I'm looking for the freaking import button, and the program itself DOESNT HAVE AN IMPORT BUTTON (I even clicked on that thing that was like 'show all menu options' or something like that, it still wasn't there, no import button) so THAT concludes my experience with Español Photoshop. The rest of Day 2 is downloading as many different photoshop links as I can find, just trying to find ONE that worked. I swear to God and Jesus I'm not exaggerating when I say I downloaded hundreds of things, I can open my laptop and check for the exact number but I swear it was at least 150 different things. Out of all of those, 6 of them worked. Number one was the Spanish one, and then the next one? In Italian. It worked perfectly but it was in Italian and this was one of the earlier downloads, I'm still full of hope, not just desperate for anything that says "Photoshop" on it, so I delete. Next one was Portuguese, and the one after THAT was Japanese. All of these claimed to be in English and btw I learned from my series of photoshop adventures that you can't change the language, it's connected to where you downloaded from and you have to pay to change it. So at this point I'm PRETTY far into the list of like 150 downloads, and out of the 4 that had worked so far, they were all in different languages. So understandably I'm getting very frustrated and I keep downloading things, and then finally, oh thank the lord finally, it's in English and it's working. Tears of joy running down my face-- and then my laptop just shuts off. I wait for it to power back on and then I get a little notification, it had found a virus and had to remove it. So I check and of course, English Photoshop was the virus it got rid of. So then, maybe 15 downloads later, that's when things got interesting. I find another working download, but the language of it is what's weird. It's half in English, half in Spanish. I don't ever want to look at another foreign word again. Sorry to my Spanish teacher, but this was like my 12th hour doing this and why are there so many languages to download photoshop in???? I was so exhausted, I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to settle at Half English though, so I delete it and keep looking. I kept looking for a while, until finally giving up. Six downloads had worked, and I couldn't use any of them. Now I think this is a good time to tell you that I'm currently having finals week, and instead of studying, THIS was what I've been doing (and it definitely didn't do anything to ease my anxiety levels). So I go and study for a few hours, figuring I'm done with Photoshop. But that's not who I am, when I spend so much time trying to do something, I'm gonna do it. Not out of determination, but it comes to a point where I'm doing it out of spite, just to say that I finally did it. So it's around 3am and I'm like "Okay I'm gonna download a few more and then I'm going to sleep" so I start downloading some and then around the third one, it's in English and it works. You can imagine my tears of joy. So I turn on FRIENDS and go the hell to sleep. Now it's day 3, I have the downloaded episodes and I have the working English photoshop, now all I have to do is make the edit, right? Wrong. I go to put the video into photoshop, and it's saying it's the wrong file type and it's not supported by Photoshop. So at first I'm like "okay that's understandable, I did just download them" so my FIRST problem is downloading a file converter. I'm not going to get into the story, but it's pretty similar to how it took to download Photoshop, hundreds of downloads, the only ones that worked are in foreign languages, and THIS was the day where I get the most notifications from my computer saying it located viruses. Now after a long long long time downloading tons of file converters, I finally find one to use. So I go to convert the files and then I try and put the converted files into photoshop and whoooop it didn't work. Now the rest of Day 3 consisted of me converting the files into HUNDREDS of different types. I converted them into basic things, things Photoshop claimed it supported, things all the people with similar problems online claimed they needed to convert into, things I hadn't even heard of. In the end, after around 15 hours of converting files, I FINALLY found something that photoshop will take. Now onto Day 4, this should be the easy day, now I just have the make the edit. Well my very first problem is that now I'm opening photoshop and I realize something, this has been going on so long I can't even remember what my idea to edit was. So then I'm just like "whatever I'll gif a random scene and put a meme on it, I gotta do something" So I go to make the gif, when I find out THE FREAKING PHOTOSHOP I DOWNLOADED DOESNT HAVE THE ANIMATION TIMELINE. I don't know why it didn't have it, but it didn't. So I end up going online and downloading the timeline separately, basically using it kinda like a psd. So I get the timeline and I want to make the gif and remove some frames, but for whatever reason my Photoshop doesn't let me select multiple frames at once, so I have to go through like 500 frames and manually delete each of them to get what I want. Now I think now is the time in this story to tell y'all that I'm not just stupid or anything. I know how to use Photoshop, I've been using it since I was in the sixth grade, I used to be in the digital editing club at my school, I know how to use photoshop, it's just this program is so wacky nothing is working. So manually I delete like 450 frames and after that everything with making the gif seems to be going well, up until it's time to add the text. I start typing and the font I'm using? Times New Roman. But instead these random symbols are showing up and it won't let me change it. So I just delete everything and start over and then I get up to adding text again, and this time symbols aren't showing up, instead just whatever letter I press, it just puts in a dash. So I'm tryna write the subtitles and instead what's coming up is "----------------" Now, after several several several redos it FINALLY starts writing letters, and there are a few more minor issues but for the most part everything is running smoothly, I finally make the gifs.So to conclude, this gifset took 4 days, 6 languages, hundreds of downloads, God-knows how many viruses, and an entire ocean of tears, but I finally made the gifs.Here's the link. God obviously determined that my making of this was a sin, because he definitely did everything in his power to make it stop, but dammit this was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life>>> enjoy http://themikewheelers.tumblr.com/post/156287152865