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connorandersons-blog · 4 years

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Kinktober day 17: Mirror sex, RK1K

Ok, this is VERY IMPORTANT!!! This has very heavy angst in it along with major self-hate. There is talks over dying or saying he should have died. Also there is established Markus/Simon with a hint of Markus/Simon/Connor at the very end. I just wanted to give a warning about the heavy angst. Also, this one was inspired by the song Creep so obviously that's a lot of not fun times akjsdhkal

Anyway, hope you enjoy!!

Everyone knew Markus was extraordinary, the whole world got to see that with his peaceful revolution. Connor had seen it when he first saw his speech. When he had lied to Hank about not noticing anything else.

Markus had easily forgiven him without even knowing the full extent of what he's done and almost did. He couldn't meet his eyes, too ashamed of his past even as Markus pulled him into a comforting embrace.

Markus seemed to know so much, he could do so much and he fit in. He stood out uniquely, but it wasn't like he wasn't supposed to be alive. Call it whatever you want, fate or destiny, he was meant to be alive.

But Connor wasn't. He didn't belong with the humans, being an android and ultimately betraying them when he became deviant and freed those androids.

He didn't belong with the androids, having done too much damage to even consider that possibility. He even felt guilty about staying with Hank. The man had enough on his plate.

Markus had his friends though, he didn't need Connor. He tried to be the best version of himself. He tried to be calm and stoic, posture perfect, and speaking only when spoken to. Yet he still faded into the shadows as Markus and his friends laughed together and fought together.

He didn't tell anyone where he was staying, well he wasn't exactly staying anywhere. He would charge at the free stations, and wandered the streets the nights he didn't need to.

He only did what was necessary and expected of him. He went to work once he was allowed, he was… he was cold. He could tell others were shocked, he acted more like a machine than he had before he deviated. Reed got even more aggressive, blatantly trying to start fights. He tried to end it peacefully but he often had to restrain him in some way, but he never pressed charges for assault.

Hank tried to get him to open up but only met a cold wall. Eventually, he didn't try as hard. He wouldn't give up on him, not completely, but it was hard to keep trying when it seemed like Connor wanted nothing to do with him.

Markus had tried the same thing, but again Connor only did what was necessary. Why would anyone actually want him around when he was a murderer? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer after all.

It broke his heart. Maybe he just wasn't supposed to be friends or have anyone love him. Maybe this was his punishment. It was a fitting one, take away the thing he wanted the most. A life for a life. Or in this cause, a life for lives. Too many lives.

He tried, he really did. He didn't know why being perfect wasn't working. It only seemed to push everyone away from him. He wanted to hold Markus again, be in his warm arms. He had felt so safe there. He'd run to him but that wouldn't be fair.

He had imagined being together, how wonderful it would be. But that would never happen. It would never happen especially when Markus and Simon started dating. They were perfect for each other. So god damn perfect. Everyone could see they were meant for one another.

Simon was sweet and caring and he never murdered anyone. He was so patient and even treated Connor just as kind as he treated everyone else.

Connor couldn't hate him. He just couldn't.

Connor wasn't meant for anyone. He wasn't meant for life or love or happiness. He knew that now and accepted it.

But maybe he could find someplace that would at least tolerate him, and so he left. He never got to see how devastated Markus and Simon both were. He didn't see the heartbreak they went through when they couldn't find him. He didn't see Hank break down again but thankfully had enough strength to not end it all.

He only ever saw his own self-hatred. It had clouded his mind so much he never saw how truly special and beautiful he was.

He didn't even leave Detroit, he simply kept to the shadows and his from anyone you may try to look for him. But he kept up with what they were doing after a few months. He knew Hank still went to work, but he decided not to contact him either.

He knew the leaders of Jericho were doing as well as they could, and he tried to help the androids who had nowhere to go. The ones like Connor that were scared and couldn't go to anyone.

He kept this up for years, two years, and six months to be exact. He had been out and about, going to charge up. He had been putting it off for far too long and couldn't wait till the night.

"Connor?" The name had him quickly spinning, already knowing who it was.

He had seen him from afar, he was always so careful to keep out of sight and never be caught. He had been so low he hadn't even noticed. "Markus," he greets politely with a small nod.

"I've been looking for you, all this time I kept looking. Did you… did you even leave the city?" Markus asked, stepping closer.

Connor swallowed and lowered his eyes to the ground. "I'm sorry to have troubled you, I know how busy you are."

Markus shook his head quickly. "No, Connor, hey. I don't care how busy I am, you disappeared. Connor, I miss you." He reached forward and before Connor could move away, pulled him into a hug.

Like before. He's so warm and soft, yet still firm. Markus kept him close, squeezing hard enough that it would be uncomfortable for humans. But it was oddly comforting for Connor. He hadn't been touched…Hadn't been hugged for so long. He had imagined being in his arms at least one more time.

He stiffened completely, he couldn't move his arms to hug back. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve Markus looking for him.

"Come with me? We can go to, uh, there's a cafe opened by an android. I can treat you to some." Markus said, pulling back and gently cupping Connor's emotionless face.

He knew the cafe, had helped the woman who made it. "I need to charge." He would, he'd promise to visit Markus but then he'd actually leave. Markus wouldn't need to look for him.

"Ok, they have some at the cafe I think. One you can use without going into stasis." Markus seemed ready to pick Connor up and leave if necessary.

He had to give in, just for a little bit. "Yeah, yeah I'll go with."

Markus sighed and smiled so widely it almost hurt to see. Why was he so happy to see Connor? Connor had done so much wrong, he was made for evil so why did Markus even care?

"Thank you, let's go, it's not a long walk." Markus hooked their arms together and Connor couldn't resist even if he wanted to.

"Weren't you doing something?" Connor asked, and it's so odd to actually be talking to him after so long.

Markus shook his head, keeping them close. "Nothing as important as you. Everything and everyone else can wait."

Not as important as him? That was definitely impossible. Markus was the leader of the androids, literally, everything and everyone was more important. Why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't anyone fucking see that?!

He grits his teeth but didn't argue. No one wanted him to argue back, it made him even less likable than he already was.

"Connor, you can say what's on your mind," Markus says, interrupting his thoughts.

He shook his head and tried to breathe normally. Did Markus always smell this good? He knew he did but it was still a shock to his systems. "No, it is not important."

Markus sighed but didn't press, instead moving away to open the cafe door. Connor smiled just slightly as he saw how well it was still doing. Not only were there androids but there were humans too. He could also see an android and human couple probably on a date. What a cute idea.

"Connor!" A voice boomed out and he shrunk back, trying to hide. He loves her but preferred not to be the center of attention. Which was going to happen anyway with Markus glued to his side. Heads turned and Connor moved back, Markus probably didn't even mean to, but he took a step in front of Connor, shielding him from the curious eyes.

Connor held onto his arm, and Markus gave his hand a slight squeeze. "Hey, it's ok. Does she know you?"

The woman in question quickly walked over, brushing off flour onto her apron. "Yes." He mumbled before squaring his shoulders and stepping forward.

"Hey, baby! You should have visited months ago! You know you're always welcome here and whatever you want is on me." Her voice was loud just like the rest of her personality. But for some odd reason, she adored Connor.

Markus watched the two, confusion clear on his face. How did they know each other? What was Connor even doing with his time?

"I'm sorry, I've been busy. I was actually going to charge before I ran into Markus." He nodded towards Markus who gave a slight nod.

Her eyes widened and she walked up, sticking out her hand. "Welcome! Any friend of Connor's is a friend of mine. Feel free to get anything, it'll be on me as well. Also, thanks for setting us free, that was cool as shit."

Connor bit his lip at the look of shock on Markus's face. He had to hold back the comment that they weren't friends, Connor had none, but knew it would make Markus look sad and he really didn't want that.

Markus took her hand and she practically shook it out of his body. Then she looked around and all but dragged them to a table, grabbing a charger. "There you boys go. Charge on up, you need it. Now, what do you want to eat and or drink?"

The people around them started going back to what they were doing and Connor relaxed just slightly. "I'm ok with whatever extra you have, and whatever drink."

She raised an eyebrow but didn't seem all that shocked at Connor. "Alright kiddo, now what about you hun?"

"Whatever you think is best, Ma'am." He smiled up at her and she nodded.

"Very well! You two enjoy. Connor, I swear you better visit at least once a month or I'll find you and skin you alive." She glared down at Connor before grinning and winking. Connor nodded and watched as she walked off to the kitchen.

"So, you know her?" Markus asks once Connor has himself hooked up to the charging port.

Connor nodded and stared down at the table, even though he wanted to look up at Markus. See everything that had changed and stayed the same up close. See those absolutely beautiful eyes that had his wall he hid behind cracking.

"Can I ask how?" Markus asks once he knows Connor isn't going to elaborate without prompting.

"She needed to be fixed up, so I did. Then she needed money to start the business so I worked a few hard labor jobs and gave her the money." He didn't think it was anything special, he was just doing what he had to.

Yet Markus seemed surprised. "That's amazing Connor! Have you been helping a lot of our people?"

"Your people," Connor mumbled before shrugging. "I try to help those in need. The ones who had no one else to turn to."

Markus reached out and took his hands in his own and placed a finger under Connor's chin and pushed up so he'll finally look up at him. "They are your people too, and you do know you can come to me. Or Anderson, North as well, and Josh and Simon. We all want you home, Connor. You're one of us."

Connor yanked his hands away and placed them in his lap, not meeting his eyes. "They are your people. That isn't my home, I don't have one." He didn't deserve one either. He should be locked up, but the crimes androids committed before deviation were forgiven. But what about all those androids who died because he let the FBI follow him to Jericho? Their blood was on his hands.

"Connor," Markus sighed and reached forward but Connor flinched away. "Please just promise me one thing. It's all I ask."

Connor nodded, he'd at least think about whatever Markus wanted of him. If it was in his power he'd try to do it, but there were some things he could never do.

"Don't leave Detroit. You don't have to come ho-back. But don't leave. You can keep hiding but I'd feel better knowing you were somewhere here." Markus pulled his own hands into his lap as Connor took in a shaky breath.

Not leave Detroit? How did Markus know that's what he was planning? But he had to know that he had been found. He had been far too careless and now he had to leave the one city he knew.

But Markus wanted him to stay. Why did he want him to stay? Was it because he was a liability? Connor had turned off his connections to Cyberlife, even limited his access to the internet in general. He had tried to make himself as harmless as possible, turning off some of his fighting programs as well. He kept a few defensive ones, he did live on the streets after all, but still.

"Connor, please, I can't lose you again." Markus whispers and Connor finally meets his eyes. What he sees there stops his heart. Markus, strong confident Markus, is crying.

"I promise!" He quickly says. He can't stand to see Markus cry, not over him. He can stay in Detroit, but he'll be more careful. He'll take back alleyways instead, he'd gotten far too comfortable to be walking around where anyone can see him.

Connor's hands ache to reach forward and brush away those tears he's caused. But he can't, he just can't seem to move his arm. It's like he was a machine again and forced to follow his programming.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He mumbled, shame covering him like a familiar blanket. He had hurt Markus again and he hadn't meant to!

"No! No, Connor it's ok. I just, we all miss you." Markus said, trying to brush away his own tears, blinking quickly.

"No! No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He says quickly disconnecting from the charger, standing, and running out. He can hear Markus calling his name but he was faster. He knew the streets better, the ins and outs. So he disappears before Markus can even get out of his seat.

Connor stays hidden for weeks, but he can see Markus looking for him. But it's not just that, Markus *talks* about him. He makes a point to mention the silent heroes and when someone asks if he's mentioning anyone specific, he says yes. Someone who didn't want to be named but someone Markus missed a lot and recently got to see.

All signs pointed to that person being Connor, but he wasn't a hero. Far, far from it.

He doesn't leave Detroit, he'll keep that promise. But it hurts so much. Just as much as it did the first month he had disappeared. He had missed Hank so much, he had missed Sumo, he missed North and Josh and Simon and Markus. But they were better off, safer, without him there.

Then he takes a risk. It had been exactly a month since he saw Markus and the man had a series of paintings in a gallery. It wasn't the first time Markus had done this, his art was often used as a fundraiser to raise money for androids in need.

This was a completely open one to the public. There was something that caught his attention. None of the original paintings would be on sale. They could get a signed copy, but not the original which generally would raise more money.

His curiosity got the best of him. He dressed in plain clothes, hoping to hide in plain sight. Markus would no doubt be there, but Connor could manage to stay out of his radar.

When he gets there it's incredibly crowded which helps but also caused a spike of anxiety. He wasn't fond of huge crowds but it helped hide him.

He looks at the first painting and brings a hand to cover his mouth, eyes wide. Each stroke had a smudging quality that rendered the image watery, like a reflection in a rippled puddle. But he knows what's painted.

It's him.

"Markus… Why?" He mumbled, looking around the room. It's, it's all him. Every single painting is somehow him.

He's beyond overwhelmed at the sight, all the paintings Markus has done. The time he put into each of these. But they aren't all within the last month. Connor can tell some are over a year old. Markus has been painting him for a very long time.

Markus had been painting him since the first time he left.

He walked closer and reached down, running a hand across the dried paint.

"Sir, please don't touch the art." A voice called out and he snatched his hands back. Fuck, how had he forgotten he was at a gallery and others were here too.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled to the security guard who just nodded.

He could feel eyes on him and he quickly looked around, finding the mitch-matched eyes he knew so well.

They stared at each other before Connor ducked his head and left the gallery, knowing Markus wasn't following.

His days seemed to mold together, his mind still so focused on the memory of the paintings. They were all so beautiful, but why did Markus paint him like that?

He wasn't worthy of being painted, especially not by Markus. But the paintings were also not on sale, so Markus didn't want anyone to have them. Maybe he just needed to do another gallery but had nothing else to show, so he found his least favorite works, not even worthy of being bought. Yes, that made more sense.

He was walking around, not exactly sure what to do when he heard a small bark. His head snapped up and he glanced around. He was in an almost completely abandoned parking lot, the pavement having too many holes and no one wanted to pay to have them fixed. There was one car left and he cautiously walked towards it.

What he saw inside made his heart melt. A St Bernard puppy was inside and panting quickly. The weather was far too hot, and it was clear the puppy had been left here for too long.

It was an older car, so he couldn't hack it to get in, but if he didn't somehow get in the puppy would almost certainly die.

He could also see a closed water bottle with the puppy in the back seat, but that would do the dog little good without being able to open it.

The car itself seemed to be barely operational. It could run but definitely not for much longer.

He looked around one more time before elbowing the car window hard enough to crack it in one hit. Thankfully the puppy was smart enough to drag itself to the other side so Connor could break the glass enough to stick his hands in and grab the water and then the puppy.

He sat down against the car, leaning on the tires as he looked over the puppy. How was Sumo doing? He hadn't gotten to see him except for the very few times he caught Hank taking him for a walk.

He opened the bottle and poured a little into his hand, offering it to the puppy who was in his lap. The puppy leaned forward and took one slow lick before quickly lapping up all the water it could get. Connor let it drink the whole bottle before starting to pet the puppy.

He'd need to get it to a vet soon, but for now, the puppy seemed content to nibble on Connor's fingers.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He flinched back at the loudness. "You can't just fucking do that! That's my fucking car you piece of shit!"

He ducks his head, shoulders coming up a little more as if it would protect himself. "I-I'm so-" he had just tried to help! He didn't know the owner would be back so soon, or even back at all!

"No!" The person just waves their hands in an almost 'x' shape in front of them to back up their point "No you can't just fucking do that-" he jabbed a harsh finger at him then at the car "to my fucking property, jackass! What the fuck's wrong with you?!"

He curls into himself more, his thirium pump beating harder and harder. It's like a building had fallen on him and he was struggling under the weight of it. A wave of...of something, something bad- he doesn't- he doesn't know, washes over him.

'Please stop, please stop, please stop, please stop! Someone save me please!' The words repeat in his head as the man yells. He can't, he can't fucking breathe.

He tries to suck in air but nothing is working! He covers his ears but he can still hear the man yelling at him. Shouting at him. He did wrong, he fucked up, he would be punished. They'd all be-she would be-so disappointed.

The car had no AC! The puppy had been locked in there for hours, what the fuck was he supposed to do! "Please stop." He whimpered but it was drowned out by more yelling. So much yelling.

His systems notify him that his message has been sent, but he didn't send one? Unless his pleads accidentally were sent out to someone. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

But then…. Then it stops? There's a sucking crunch and... He's shaking, he knows he is but he can't stop that. He can't look up, he can't uncurl himself. He has to protect the puppy, even if it meant taking whatever beating the man wanted to give out. Connor deserved it after all.

"Leave." The one word pierces through to him and he knows that voice. But why? Why was he here? He wanted Connor to leave. He would, he would leave right now and never come back if he could just get his body to move!

Someone, no, he knew it was Markus, crouched down in front of him. "Hey, Connor it's me, it's Markus, you're safe." His voice is so soft and he can finally look up. But even then he's a burr from the tears that threaten to spill over.

"Markus?" It's so small and quiet, he sounds so broken. He could leave now, he could give the puppy to Markus and run. Run until he was far away from Detroit.

But he doesn't do that. Instead, he falls into Markus' open arms and lets the sobs wrack his body. It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope.

Even though they are almost the same height, Connor feels so small in his hold, the puppy still laying in Connor's lap between them. He clings onto him, hands gripping Markus's suit jacket as he buries his face in his neck.

"I'm s-sorry," he chokes out and keeps repeating it hoping Markus knows he's telling the truth. His breathing was ragged, gasping and the strength left his whole body.

He pulled away, and Markus' had to hide his own tears, especially at the sight of Connor. It was the face of one who had suffered before and didn't know if he could do it again. Then, just when Markus thought the breakthrough would come and he would trust him with his vulnerability, his emotion walled off behind a mask, he didn't know any other way.

He looked down at the puppy and gave it a few scratches before handing it to a shocked Markus. "I'm sorry, I'll leave now."

Markus wanted him to leave, he didn't need to be told twice. He fucked up all over again, he had been trying to be good for so long.

And then strong arms are wrapping around him again and he tried to push away. He's fighting to get out, to get away.

He hit Markus' chest but barely had any strength behind it. He kept hitting and pushing, but it was doing nothing. "Let me go!" He cried out, trying to stand, but Markus pulled him back down and into his lap. Connor had no choice but to fall into him.

"I'll never let you go. I don't want you to leave." Markus mumbled, pulling him so close their bodies were flush against each other. Connor still fights it but much less, the hits are more like lingering touches and Connor's LED is a solid red. Markus gently strokes his hair and Connor wants to melt into him, he really does. But he can't. He doesn't deserve Markus' comfort.

"If you really want me to let go, I will... But...."

"Markus, Markus," he keeps saying his name like a prayer because he's so tired of fighting. He thought he wanted him to leave. He thought he fucked everything up again, caused such a huge scene. Just… he's just… tired.

His body goes into an involuntary stasis and falls limp in Markus' arms. He doesn't know what happens next as the soft nothingness consumes him.

His systems slowly rebooted and he blinked his eyes open. His system had been down for 24 hours exactly, not all too surprising. If it was forced or involuntary it was either 12 or 24 hours until the android woke up.

The room was large with two windows and a desk. It was mostly bare other than that except for the paintings on the wall and a canvas near one of the windows.

Beside him in a chair was Markus, slumped to the side, head resting in his hand asleep. He even had the puppy sleeping in his lap. He looked so peaceful and so at home.

Home. Markus had taken him to his home. Connor knew that when Carl had passed he had given the house to Markus, it was all over the news that Markus was in the man's will even before the revolution.

Connor slowly sat up, making sure to not wake up Markus. He was kind enough to bring him here, but Connor didn't want to be a burden.

Of course, Markus wouldn't leave anyone on the street if they did the equivalent of passing out, it was just something he wouldn't do. He'd even help a criminal if they passed out.

He found a notepad and a pen easily, scribbling down a note and placing it on the bed.

'Thank you for helping me.'

He did what he had been doing almost all his life. He ran once again. He kept in Detroit but he really needed to stop running into Markus so much. It was doing weird things to his head. Like making him imagine a life where the two can curl up together and drink coffee, Markus playing with Connor's hair and humming softly. The light from the sun would stream in and it would be so wonderful.

But he couldn't have that. He could never have that. Someone like him deserved to be living the harshest life he could, but even now that wasn't true. He could be suffering more, the right amount, instead he lets himself get away with things like going to cafes or galleries.

The next time he allowed himself to think of Markus was when he found new art up against the back of a building. It was similar to Markus' style but done in spray paint instead of acrylic or oil.

But there seemed to be something about it. He scanned over it and his systems alerted him that he had a new image. He pulled it up on his hand and couldn't help the small chuckle. God, it felt weird to laugh even for a second. But it was just like the clues to find Jericho.

So he followed it, curious as to what it could be leading him to. It was odd that many of the paintings seemed to show up on abandoned buildings where he would sometimes rest in, but dismissed it as a coincidence since there was more art on places he hasn't been in than ones he had.

When he got close to the final destination he stopped dead in his tracks. It was leading to New Jericho. Of course, it was, Markus probably put these up himself as a way to honor the new Jericho.

He glanced at the next art and his heart stopped just like at the gallery. Once again it was a painting of him, but this time he looked serene and at peace in a person's arms. He couldn't make out who the person was as their head was turned away and no skin or hair was showing.

Markus had left this for him. Why did he want Connor back?! Did he plan on locking him up? If that was the case he could have just told Connor and he would have gone willingly. But this… it was so much like the old Jericho signs.

It was like Markus was trying to show him to safety. That Connor would be safe there, with him.

Connor would be safe with him, he knew that, but Markus wouldn't be safe with Connor. He had too much blood on his hands and would make a clear target if given the chance.

So he turned around and left, not following the rest of the paintings even though he wanted to see what they'd look like. He couldn't risk Markus waiting for him at one of them. He knew it wouldn't take much more for Markus to be able to coax him back to New Jericho.

He honestly does try to stop reading every news article about Markus, and he quickly turns away when he walks past a television and sees him there. But when he goes into a convenience store and sees one magazine he buys it.

He doesn't care about the rest of the articles, he just flips to the one on the front cover.

'Markus's Secret Lover?'

There was no way he'd cheat on Simon, none. He wasn't the kind of guy to do that. This was why so many of Connor's hopes and fantasies burned at him because they were often romantic in nature.

He scans over it and then goes over it again more slowly.

''Simon and I have talked, and we are both open to having another partner. One, in particular, we've talked about, but I'm afraid it won't happen or at least not for a long time.' Markus had said, and everyone in the studio could see the adoration in his eyes.'

What? Who was Markus interested in? Why wouldn't it happen? Anyone would be lucky to have him, Markus was amazing!

He made a scan and confirmed it was a real interview, one that had gained many people's attention. There, of course, was hate over the fact that the two were not monogamous, but Connor rolled his eyes at those. Honestly, after all this time you'd think people would stop caring if someone was gay, straight, or anything else if it didn't involve them. But no, there would always be the bigots.

''Could you maybe describe this special someone?' The interviewer had asked.

'Oh, well I'd rather not give his name. He is a bit shy, and honestly, I think he's really scared currently. I tried to show him, you know? Left him clues but he's always running away from everything. Which is understandable, but I just want him to feel safe and loved like he really is. Because there are so many that really do love and miss him.' The whole room seemed to be shocked, filled-' he stopped reading and had to sit down.

There was no way. This couldn't be real. He looked it up again and saw everyone speculating who it could be. No one guessed him outright, but many suggested whoever it was Markus had painted so much for the gallery.

Everything seemed to be lining up, but it still made no sense. Why Connor? What had he ever done to make Markus like him? To make anyone like him?

Or maybe this was just a ploy to get Connor to go to New Jericho. If it was, then it worked.

He ran the whole way there, not caring who saw him. He had to know if this was real if Markus meant what he said.

He had to know why, if it was real. How was Markus making him doubt everything he believed in? Connor knew he was a terrible person, but Markus made him feel almost good.

He didn't stop running until he was standing in front of the large doors of what used to the Cyberlife tower.

People moved around him, not even glancing his way. Other than the conspiracy theories a very small few people had come up with about his disappearance, no one seemed to remember him. It was like he never existed. Like he was a ghost.

Then one person catches his eye in the building. "Hank." He mumbled.

It's almost like the man hears him, but Connor knows that's impossible, but he turns and their eyes lock. Connor can see him mouth Connor's name just like he had and then Connor's pushing through the doors and Hank runs at him.

Hank engulfs him in a hug and Connor can feel him shaking. "Son." He mumbled, and Connor knows he's crying.

Connor doesn't hug back, but he doesn't try to pull away either. His eyes are wide, he hadn't ever seen Hank cry, not like this.

Then Hank grabs his shoulders and pulls back, shaking him gently. "Don't you ever fucking leave again, I can't lose another son." His voice cracks at the last word and Connor doesn't know what to do.

Lose another… Did Hank think of him as a son? But why? He'd only caused the man trouble and even made the man lose his job because he punched that FBI bitch.

"I don't… What?" He asked, furrowing his brows.

"You fucking heard me, don't you dare leave. Where the hell have you been?! You didn't leave a message, just off and disappeared, I thought you were dead but Markus said he could still try to contact you, some connection or whatever. I've been looking for you!" Hank is raising his voice and Connor starts to shake. But Hank thankfully noticed and his voice softened. "You scared me, kid."

"I'm sorry." He whispered, staring down at the ground. "I'm so sorry, I thought… I thought you–everyone–would be better off without me, be safer." He really did but now, fuck. Now he saw how upset everyone was even after all this time. He'd done so much damage without even being there, he had done the damage from not being there.

"No! No, I'm so sorry we made you, fuck, I'm sorry we made you feel that way. I never meant for that to happen, Connor, you have to know none of us wanted you to leave. We've been looking for you this whole time, kid." Hank sighed and pulled him back into a hug, much gentler this time.

Connor felt him start to cry and he couldn't hold back his own tears. He had missed him so much, he had walked up to Hank's house so many times, hand raised to knock on the door but always backed down.

He had heard Sumo barking at him and he wanted to just bury his face in his fur and stay there all day.

Now he's wondering why he hadn't even left a message. Why hadn't he let anyone know he was alive?

No, he knew why. Because he was better off dead, he wanted to disappear and thought everyone would forget him. But the ones he thought couldn't care less never forgot and always kept looking.

"Hank, oh god I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, I fucked it all up, I'm so sorry." He cried, clinging to the man.

"Shhh, it's ok son, you're here now. I'm not gonna let you out of my sight. You'll either stay here or with me, no arguing ok? I'm sure Sumo misses you too." Hank pulls back and reaches up to wipe away Connor's tears. "You ok, kid?"

Connor nodded and hugged him again, not ready to let go, not again. He'd been gone for so long, he missed so much, and now… was he really going to stay? With how Hank was holding him, it didn't seem like he'd have much choice in the matter. Hank would probably start a manhunt himself if Connor disappeared again.

"Yeah… I don't know. I came to see Markus? But, uh, I'm really happy I think to see you." Even now after so long he still struggled with them and identifying them.

But he was happy, he thinks, to finally see Hank again and talk.

"Wait, holy shit!" He heard and pulled back, glancing at the voice he knows well too. "It is! You absolute motherfucker!" North shouts, stomping up to him.

Connor shrinks back and hides slightly behind Hank. He isn't scared of her, but he hated the yelling. She keeps her eyes on him and seems to stall at the look on his face.

Then tears well up in her own eyes and she breaks into a run, tackling him to the floor. She makes sure to put a hand behind Connor's head so he won't get hurt and wraps her whole body around him.

Many people are now looking over. Some seem to look shocked once they recognize Connor, others seem just plain confused. It wasn't like many new Connor other than as the deviant hunter or the one who freed the androids from the very tower they were in.

North held him tightly with her whole body, legs wrapped around him. "You motherfucker, why the hell haven't you come back?" She asked, pulling away, but still sitting on top of him.

Connor swallowed and stared up at her. Out of everyone he expected North to miss him the least or not even care. She had every reason to hate him, and he thought she did.

But maybe picking on him had been her way of showing affection. He thought she just was trying to tell him to get lost without outright saying it. "I'm sorry." He was starting to sound like a broken record, but he had no idea what else to say.

She huffed and shook her head. "Yeah, well Markus is gonna shit bricks. I figured it was you he was talking about but no one wanted to get too hopeful. Now, I'm gonna get off you and we're gonna go see loverboy. Hank, you're coming too."

"No need to tell me twice, I'm letting him out of my sight," Hank grumbled and Connor smiled just slightly.

"Wait, Hank why are you here?" Not to mention the fact he still had a gun on him along with a taser and a new weapon that was used to take down androids without doing any extra damage.

"There's a lot to catch you up on, but I help head security here. Helped keep my head on, doing something." North got off and Hank offered a hand, which Connor took.

He was beyond proud that Hank had found something to do instead of drinking all day. No doubt Jericho needed it, and Hank was especially qualified. Connor wouldn't trust anyone else with Markus's and their–Markus's people.

North hooked her arm around Connor's and started walking towards the elevator. The whole place was redecorated enough that he could barely recognize it. He even saw a few child models drawing on the walls with what was probably washable markers. He had no doubt Markus encouraged them.

It might have changed a lot but the moment he stepped in he remembered the feel of the gun going off in his hand and then the scent of fresh human blood being spilled.

He kept telling himself the bullet did it. The bullet killed them. But his brain knows that he pulled the trigger. He's the one that murdered them without even knowing their names. Did they have families they'd never go home to? Kids who waited for their dad to walk through that door one more time?

He could remember the stench of blood that filled the elevator, how he didn't even pause. He had still been so very machine-like, deviation was a slow process after all. Just because he broke through the code didn't mean he didn't follow his basic programming.

How long did it take them to clean up the blood? Would there be any traces of it left? He couldn't scan to find out, vision blurry from something. Who had to tell their families they had died. That the person responsible wouldn't go to jail, instead got to walk free.

"Connor, come back to us." A voice said, and a hand gently took his own. He snatched it back and looked around.

The blood and bodies were gone and all that was left was North and Hank looking at him worriedly.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled and gladly left the elevator. He kept his head down as the other two filled out before the elevator was closing and moved back down.

"Kid, it's ok. Maybe we can take the stairs next time." Hank offers and Connor can only nod. He had noticed Hank seemed to have lost some weight and gained more muscle back. Once again he was flooded with pride and he tried to smile but knew it didn't look right.

"Ok, so his office is down here. He's talking with Simon and Josh but don't worry, it's not as important." North shrugs and quickly leads them to a pair of closed doors. At least Markus was smart enough not to leave his door opened.

He had the urge to tell her exactly how unimportant he was but bit his tongue. He literally bit his tongue to keep himself from talking.

He stared at the doors, the other two seem to come to the same conclusion that he should be the one to knock.

He raised his fist and went to knock, but instead just pressed his hand against the door. Fuck, why was he doing this? After all this time, he should know better. Yet he ached to go in there and kiss… no, not kiss. Simon was there. But hadn't the article said the two were open for this? Ugh! It was all so confusing!

He squeezed his eyes shut, taking in a few deep breaths before exhaling and breathing out. He could do this. He had to do this.

He knocked twice, far timider than he meant to, but it still rang out in the deathly silence of the hall.

"Who is it?" Markus called out and Connor's whole body jolted. This was happening. Markus was behind these doors he was going to walk through. He'd no doubt be sitting at a desk, and the room would most certainly have paintings hung up.

He opened his mouth but no sound seemed to come out. He was gaping like a fish, fist still resting on the door.

"Uh, is anyone there?" Markus called out again and Connor had to do this.

"It's me." He tried calling out but his voice was so small and weak, he doubted Markus would hear him.

Silence hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground. He could hear Hank's heartbeat and the soft whirl of North's thirium pump. The silence was the most terrifying part.

Would Markus reject him? Had he read the situation all wrong? Fuck, he shouldn't have come here.

Before his thoughts could drag him down again the doors were flung open and Markus stared at him with wide eyes. "Connor." That one word seemed to break Connor into tiny shards. Ones he knew, if pressed hard enough could cut deep. But he couldn't stop himself as he fell into Markus' hug, gasping for air.

"Why me? Why? I don't, I don't deserve this!" Connor buried his face into Markus' neck. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He kept repeating, his whole body trembling.

"Shhh, Connor. Hey, it's ok. You've done nothing wrong." Markus squeezed him, pressing a very gentle kiss to Connor's shoulder.

"No! No, I killed people, Markus I murdered humans and androids, I'm disgusting. I shouldn't be allowed to live, I should be shut down and used for parts."

He heard a gasp but he didn't know who it was from. The very people he ran away from, all in one room.

Markus pulled back so quickly it made his head spin. Then hands are cupping his face and Connor has to look at Markus. "Never say that. You did what you had to do. I, and everyone else here, missed you, worried about you constantly, want you here, and we love you. We love you, Connor."

"I don't deserve your love, I never have." He whimpered, tears stinging his eyes.

Markus frowns and completely pulls away. Good. He finally realized how fucked up Connor was, he realized how much of a bad idea it was to put any trust or affection into him. That he killed people.

It breaks his heart even more, but that's ok. That's what he gets for everything he's done. Every time he even thought about pulling the trigger. What he had done he could never undo. The guilt was like gasoline in his body. His insides rusted and decayed slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt him out so badly there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person.

Markus held out his hand, his skin receding to expose his chassis. Connor stared at the hand. Why would Markus want to interface with him? How could he trust that he wouldn't infect Markus?

Connor shook his head, holding his arms to his chest, trying to protect Markus. But he wanted to reach out and take the hand so badly. He wanted to know what an interface with Markus would be like. He wanted to touch Markus again and again, and he wanted to try to do it without his skin. He wanted to be so selfish.

"Connor, it's ok. You won't hurt me. I just want to show you something that I don't know how to say in words." Markus kept his hand out, not moving closer but not moving away.

Connor bit the inside of his cheek, his fingers itching to reach forward. Maybe he could do this. Markus wanted him to, he was the one that offered. It would be rude to turn him down, right?

His hand shook as he slowly reached out and clasped his wrist, accepting the interface.

He's flooded with memories, Markus' memories. Before the revolution ended, how Markus was intrigued by Connor. Then moments when Markus had managed to get a fleeting look at Connor. He always stopped to stare, but Connor never even glanced his way, always caught up in whatever mission he was on.

Then it changed to the night they met. How worried Markus was for Connor, not for his own life. Connor could feel how absolutely stunned Markus was at the sight of Connor. How alive he seemed to Markus even then, holding a gun to him.

The sadness of Jericho being blown up, but there was no anger towards Connor. There was worry when Connor hadn't come out of the water as quickly, then relief when his head popped out of the water.

It was odd, feeling Markus' emotions. What was odder was all the positive ones directed towards Connor. Markus had thought Connor looked adorable soaking wet but also… Connor knew his face would be flushing blue. Markus was attracted to him.

He had sought Connor out at the church, making sure he was ok. Connor could feel Markus's want to draw him into a hug and never let go. He wanted to take Connor and his friends and go, protect them at all costs, but he hadn't. He had stayed for his people.

The absolute terror washing over Markus when Connor suggested his mission to the tower was overwhelming. There was hope, hope that Connor would make it back but also overwhelming grief.

He wanted Connor to not feel like he had to risk his life to make up for the mistakes he thought he made, or to help his people. Markus didn't want to let him go but knew he had to.

The memories skipped over until Markus saw Connor walking down the street leading all those androids. Pride bloomed in his chest so strong it knocked the air from Connor's artificial lungs. Pride and love. Markus adored Connor, wanted to keep him safe. He wanted to pull him into a kiss and show the world how much he trusted and cared for the man in front of him. But he didn't, worried Connor hadn't felt the same connection.

But he had. He had and he showed Markus that in return. He felt it the moment he saw Markus' face on that huge screen. When he lied to Hank about not noticing anything.

Markus moved on, showing his terror when they couldn't find Connor anywhere. These memories were faster, skimming over the time he was gone. There was so much guilt from Markus, so much yearning to have Connor at least somehow back in his life. It was like a part of his soul was missing.

Then they found each other, completely on accident. And it clicked. His soul seemed to click back together when he saw Connor when he got to be close to him again.

Connor couldn't watch anymore, it was just too much. He ended the connection but not the touch. A hand came up and gently cupped Connor's cheek, brushing away the tears there.

"Do you understand now?" Markus whispered. Connor bit his lip but nodded his head. He hated himself. He really did, fully and completely, but Markus loves him. He loves him so much that he can't bare to lose Connor for good.

He didn't deserve it, none of this, but he couldn't change Markus's feelings for him. He had tried to change his own but he failed completely. He was in love with Markus.

"I don't know if I can do this." He whispered, leaning into the touch. God, it felt so good. Connor seemed to fit perfectly into his hand.

Markus hummed and stepped closer, pressing their foreheads together. "It's ok, we'll be here for you. We'll take it as slow as you need. We'll get you help."

Help. He knew there were now android therapists. But would it actually work? "I can try."

"That's all I ask."

Therapy was hard, as was living in the tower. When Connor had finally confessed to his discomfort there, Markus had invited him to Carl's old house, having left it to Markus. It was huge and Connor had plenty of time to wander around and explore it.

He found he enjoyed reading and playing the piano. Painting wasn't his thing, but it was nice to watch Markus paint.

Hank barely let Connor out of his sights, but neither did Josh, Simon, North, or Hank. They were always there for him, reminding him he was loved and wanted.

It took a year and a half before Connor brought up him and Markus. Simon was there, of course, and Connor was beyond nervous. He still had plenty of self-hate but he also knew others loved him. He may not see himself a certain way but he would not deny that others did and their opinions were just as valid as his own.

Simon was oddly charming about it all, explaining things that had Connor fumbling over his words to figure out how to ask. Simon would still date Markus, the two did love each other. He wouldn't date Connor unless Connor wanted to, but he also gave full consent and even encouraged the two to get together.

Even after it was incredibly slow. Connor was touch-starved and didn't know how to initiate anything, but he also flinched away from unexpected touch. Connor hadn't kissed Markus and hadn't gone on any dates.

It would take a long time until they got there, but eventually, they did. Hank had grown old, having to retire from security, but he was always welcome at New Jericho. The androids had mostly all taken a liking to him. The androids didn't age, not in the human sense. Connor liked still as young as ever, but his processors would eventually slow in the future.

The first time they slept together, Connor had cried. Not from sadness, but just from everything. He felt so loved and wanted, Markus was so gentle with him too. He didn't know how to deal with all the emotions. But Markus helped him through it, only continuing after Connor gave the ok.

They didn't sleep together much, but Connor had gotten more and more confident over time.

It was still Markus who initiated it this time as well. Connor had had a long day, his anxiety and self-hate were strong and so Markus decided to show him just how beautiful he was.

"Markus, are you sure?" Connor asked, hands going to Markus' exposed chest. His hands splayed there, gently smoothing over the skin.

Markus pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I am. If you don't like it, we can stop, ok?"

Connor bit his lip but eventually nodded. Markus plopped onto the ground and Connor straddled him, letting Markus attack his neck with hot kisses.

His skin burned and he let out a small whine, tilting his head even more. A hand runs through his hair, as the kisses become harder and more urgent. Another hand slides around his waist and pulls him close to Markus. "Fuck! Just like that, yes Markus!" Connor rocked his hips down, hissing at the pleasure that shot up through him.

Markus groaned and bit down on Connor's shoulder, bucking his hips up in retaliation. "Love how beautiful you sound, baby. I love how you say my name."

"Markus! Markus, please, I need more!" Connor felt his whole body shudder, his cunt dripping. His neck was so sensitive, and Markus knew exactly what to do to get him going.

Long fingers danced across his taut abdomen, fingertips brushing lightly over his heated skin, making the hairs on his arms stand up. Connor rolled his hips down and bit his lip, trying to keep his sounds at bay.

"So beautiful, I want you to see yourself. Is that ok now? Take off all your clothes and watch as I play with you?" Markus pulled Connor's shirt off and Connor nodded his head. He'd do whatever Markus wanted. "That's a good boy, you're so wonderful and amazing."

Connor whimpered at the praise but let Markus turn him around, pulling off his pants and damp boxers. Markus kissed the bare shoulder, resting his chin atop of it as he traced the soft line of Connor’s artificial abs.

"Do you see how beautiful you are?" Markus asks, sliding his hand up to circle around Connor's thirium pump. "I want you to say how beautiful you are."

Connor could barely look at the mirror, if he did he could only look at Markus or his hands. Those beautiful hands that knew just what to do to work him up. He shook his head, closing his eyes. He didn't want to see himself, he didn't deserve to be in Markus's arms. No… no, he did deserve this. Markus loves him and wants this too.

"Come on baby, open your eyes. Let me see those beautiful brown eyes, you know I love them." Markus purred and Connor's eyes slowly opened. "God, I love you. Do you want me to touch you now?"

Markus's hand slowly trailed down then skipped over Connor's wet cunt, massaging Connor's open thighs. "Come on baby, talk to me."

"I-yes, please touch me." He whispered, leaning back against Markus. He's so warm and strong, Connor can feel him taking all of Connor's weight. "Markus, I want you so bad."

Markus' fingers slid down and slowly rubbed in a circle, putting just enough pressure on him. Connor lets out a choked moan, bucking his hips forward and opening his mouth as he tips his head upwards, giving Markus better access to his neck.

"Yes! Fuck, yes just like that!" Connor groaned. He bit at his bottom lip, rolling his hips forward against Markus' clever hands.

"Look at yourself, baby." Markus grins, feeling him twitching beneath his hand, keeping up the harsh movements until Connor looks at the mirror.

He's spread open for Markus wet slick dripping out of him as Markus worked his fingers over his cunt. Markus was so hot and Connor's body felt like it was on fire. "You look so good, I love you so much, want to feel you inside me. Fuck, you fill me up so well." He babbled, gasping for breath. His toes curled and he grabbed Markus' hips, careful of the connection with his knee.

"Thank you, but I want you to look at yourself. If you watch yourself then I'll fuck you real good, ok? I'll keep playing with your beautiful cunt while I fuck your little hole." Markus rolls his hips forward and Connor feels his hard leaking dick against his back.

Connor whimpered and looked at himself. He was… really fucking hot. He looked so good pressed up against Markus, begging for his cock.

"There we go, you ready for me? Or do you want to play a bit longer?" Markus always made sure Connor was sure, giving him every chance to back out, and now was no different.

"Yes! Please fuck me, please I need your dick, I need you!" He rolled his hips forward one last time before Markus pulled him up quickly and smoothly sliding him all the way to the hilt. Connor gasped and his back arched as Markus freed a hand to rub his cunt.

Markus hissed, pressing a kiss to Connor's neck. "You feel so good wrapped around my cock, like you're meant for it. So hot and tight."

“Fuck,” Connor breathes. He tries to look back at Markus but Markus turns his head back to the mirror, hand going back to his wet cunt.

"Eyes front, keep watching yourself," Markus commanded. Connor whined but looked at himself again.

He's bouncing on Markus' dick, taking him quickly and fully, filling himself up so well. "Ah! God, yes, just like that!" His hips jerked, trying to fuck Markus' hand as well. He was so damn close. So fucking close he just needed a little more.

"You're such a good boy, so beautiful and panting. Fucking hell, god you make me feel so good, Connor." Markus reached up and flicked Connor's nipple. He matches Connor easily, losing himself in the pleasure of it.

Connor moaned, hips jerking wildly. Fuck, it felt so good. "Watch yourself come, baby, you look so damn pretty all spread out for me." Markus's hand rubbed quickly, and Connor shakes. He clenched around Markus, his back arching away from him.

He keeps his eyes on the mirror, watching how his face flushed blue as he came. Shocks of pleasure jolted through his body as Markus worked him through it. He couldn't deny how hot they were together. He was pretty, just like Markus said.

He whined as Markus took a hold of his hips and started pounding up into him. He keeps watching but his eyes stray to Markus's as he feels him tensing. "Connor, fuck!" Markus moaned and Connor clenched around him, taking it all.

"There we go, baby, fuck yes!" Markus panted against Connor's skin.

They both had to take a while to cool down before Connor pulled off and cuddled into Markus's lap. "You did so well, baby. I love you so much and you are a good boy." Markus pressed kisses all over Connor's face making him giggle.

"I love you too. Markus… I do kind of want to talk about Simon? It's nothing bad, I think it's actually good." He hadn't before, but he was curious now. Simon was so sweet and cared about Connor just as much as Markus did.

"Yeah? Well how about this, we all get some sleep and in the morning we can talk if you're feeling up to it. I want tonight to be all about you." Markus nuzzled into Connor's neck and pressed a gentle kiss there too.

They often shared a bed altogether, with Markus in the middle. Tonight he knew they planned on putting Connor in the middle and showing as much love and affection as they could. "Yeah, ok. Going into stasis does sound pretty good." He let out a yawn, not even jolting when Markus picked him up.

"God, I love you more than I know what to do with." Markus gently laid him down on the bed, no doubt letting Simon know he could come in.

Connor snuggled closer, a small smile on his face. He did deserve a lot of things, a lot of really bad things, but he also deserved this.

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rk1k-hyperfixated · 3 years

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Hi!! First of all, I love your blog so much and I hope you're having a nice day 🥺 I saw you're open to rk1k prompts, so what about them, holding hands on the street for the first time? ✨💖

Thank you for the sweet words!! Here you go !

RK1K Holding Hands For The First Time

They have been together for exactly 2 weeks, 4 days, 10 hours and 34 minutes. All of which they spent separately submerged by piles and piles of work that never seemed to leave their desks. Two weeks of glancing at each other from afar, of tender words left on sticky notes and sweet nothings whispered through their wireless connection.

Two weeks since Markus had mustered his courage to tell Connor, in front of the police department with everyone watching, that he saw him as more than a friend. A confession that took Connor by complete surprise, triggering an unusual rise in internal heating and an inexplicable fluttering of the Thirium pump.

He knew, then and there, that he loved him back.

Followed by two weeks of nothing. Connor wanted to blame his work but he was invested now more than ever. With Android rights becoming international, he made it his duty to give his utmost just to prove his worth. To the world, to himself - to Markus.

To Markus. He wanted to prove he was worthy of the man who saved his kind from a lifetime of slavery. He wanted to prove he was worthy of being loved, cared for, cherished by the one who loved, cared, and cherished him all along. Two weeks of Connor desperately wanting to express his fondness for the man who changed his life entire.

Today was finally the day.

He saw his figure in the middle of the crowded plaza, barely recognizable in his black tight turtleneck and well-fitted brown pants. He wore his coat under his armpit while staring in the distance, failing to notice the starry eyes of the passersby nearly tripping at his sight. Connor, too, nearly tripped. So bewildered he was by the view he could swear he experienced the equivalent of a human panic attack. God, he was done for.

“Connor!”

His voice had reached him before he were even close. Those gorgeous pair of blue and green hues catching him from a distance, seeing only him, nothing else. Something comforting washed over Connor, and he wished he could explain the technical word for it, but it was brief, and it lingered even after, enveloping him in a soft, cocooning warmth.

Connor took a sharp breath - not that it would make a difference but he learned it calmed him down quite fast - and closed the remaining distance between them.

“Hello, Markus,” he said, smiling, attempting - although terribly - to act natural. “I hope you didn’t wait too long? I made sure to arrive here on time.”

“That’s fine,” interrupted the other gently, his lips stretching into a tender smile. “I came here earlier on purpose. I wanted to wait for you.”

Connor’s lips parted, ready to question his motive but decided against it. Some things were better left a mystery.

"Shall we then?”

Connor was half-turned when he caught, with the corner of his eye, Markus’s hand stretching out towards him.

“If you don’t mind,” he said.

His smile was small, timid. His eyes reflected a haze of emotions a lifetime of deviancy would still have Connor hardly describe. The moment was swift, pendent, and it left Connor drifting, wanting, aching, until -

“Connor?”

“Y-Yes,” he hastily said, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, “I’ve wanted to do this for a while.”

Markus beemed, his lips gaining a shade of color.

“Me too. Always.”

And their fingertips touched, and the world has never been brighter.

#rk1k #conkus #rk1000 #holding hands #prompt

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rk1kheadcanons · 4 years

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I LIVE for a touch starved Connor

Just like I live for a touched starved Markus because we all know that his title and actions give him this larger than life persona and he's a lonely bean. Markus is so happy to get to know and eventually fall in love with Connor.

Touches are so nice to them. Connor swears its a RK series thing. Where they didn't smile, they do now. Where they didn't have anyone to touch, very rarely do they not handhold everywhere they go as a couple.

And sex is unreal between them because of the emotions behind it all and the tender kisses, roving touches, and clinging hugs.

Yeah, I live for a touched starved RK1K.

#rk1k #rk1000 #conkus #ask #anonymous #hint of lemony goodness

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lopithecusfanfiction · 4 years

Text

Operation: Get Markus and Connor Together

Author: Lopithecus Pairing: Markus/Connor Rating: Mature Word Count: 5007 Alternate: AO3 Summary: Hank, along with the rest of the Jericho crew, play matchmaker between Connor and Markus Warnings:

Marked mature for f-bombs

Author's Note: This is for pt_tucker for the FandomTrumps Hate event. They wanted a Rk1k fic in a different point of view other than Markus or Connor. I had a lot of fun writing this and I really hope you enjoy it!!

Hank doesn’t believe in love. He doesn’t like it, has zero faith in it, and can honestly go without it for the rest of his life. At least ever since his ex-wife left him and their son to fend for themselves. Then Cole died and… well, a parent never really truly gets over the loss of a child.

But then Connor comes into his life and Hank starts to develop these feelings, these… parental feelings for the android and since then his life has been ruined. Now he worries all the time about Connor and wants to help him and teach him. It’s like having a second son. Hank hates it (he really doesn’t.)

So when he starts to see how Connor acts around Markus — nervous and trying to impress the other android — Hank’s protective mode kicks in. He doesn’t want Connor’s poor thirium pump to get hurt by rejection. Not because he cares about Connor’s feelings (he does) but because he doesn’t want to have to deal with the fallout. Connor crying and carrying on about unrequited love, asking all sorts of questions, Hank’s sure, is something he just doesn’t want to do.

He plans on talking to Connor or Markus, one of them, when they are called to meet at New Jericho but then he decides a better plan would just be to sabotage the whole thing. Making Connor fall out of love would be a hell of a whole lot easier than having to talk about feelings and heartbreak . That is, until he sees, finally in person, how Markus acts around Connor. The damn android loves Connor back but they are just too damn stupid to act upon it.

It almost makes Hank sigh in irritation.

Almost.

Hank develops a new plan, then. Operation: Get two dumb androids together. He’s not arrogant enough to actually believe he would be able to do it all on his on, however. No, he’ll need help and that requires having to talk to to the rest of the gang. He starts with Simon who is just… way to sweet and nice for his liking but he can deal. He has to deal with people like this at work all the time. You just… plaster on a smile and pretend that you are having fun. Though, if Hank admits it, he hasn’t exactly done that at work in a long time.

The next android he approaches for help is Josh. Josh is cool. Hank likes Josh. Josh tells him he doesn’t want to interfere and Hank scoffs and mumbles something insulting under his breath before backing down when he receives a glare from the android. So that left North.

North… is interesting. She’s headstrong, capable, and swears almost as much as Hank that Hank can’t help but love her. North tells him that she’ll get Josh on their side and to start off making plans with Simon. So he does, in a corner of the room while Markus and Connor stand over a table looking at blueprints of New Jericho. Apparently Markus wants to expand, saying something about running out of space for Androids that are coming from all over the US.

“So, what do you think we should do?” he asks the blond android in front of him.

Simon gives him that sweet smile and Hank really can’t help the scowl that appears on his face. “They do a lot of work together. The problem is, is that’s all they do. They don’t actually talk about anything else. If we can get them to go out…” Simon trails off, letting Hank fill in the rest.

North strides up to them, pulling Josh over by an arm who is looking as if he’d rather be anywhere but there. “Look who’s decided to help.”

“You kind of forced my hand,” Josh replies.

North completely ignores him. “So, what have we missed?”

“I was just suggesting to the Lieutenant that we get Markus and Connor to do something other than work,” Simon answers her with another smile.

“Yes!” North exclaims, getting excited. Josh rolls his eyes. “That’s perfect.”

“What exactly are we going to get them to do?” Josh asks, looking to each of them. “Androids don’t eat so they can’t go out to a restaurant or something. And remember, Connor still has his LED in.”

North’s lips purse as she thinks and that’s when Hank realizes that asking androids who have just recently been freed for dating help, was the worst idea he has ever had. They have zero experience in dating. If anything, Hank should be the one coming up with the plans.

But again he hates love (he doesn’t.)

With a sigh, Hank finally speaks up, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You know what? Forget I even asked. I’ll handle it myself.”

“No!” North yells and both Markus and Connor look over at them in confusion until North awkwardly waves them off. She turns back to Hank. “You already asked for help, so now you’re going to get it.”

Hank groans in dismay.

*~~~*

When Hank and Connor get home, he decides to just bite the bullet. He sits Connor down on the couch and goes and sits in the chair so he can easily look at the android. Sumo saunters up to Connor who immediately begins to pet the dog. “Listen, Kid, I have something I need to talk to you about.”

Connor looks up at him, all the innocence in the world shining from his eyes. “What is it Lieutenant?”

Hank takes a deep breath. “How do you feel about Markus?”

“Markus?” Connor asks in confusion. “He’s a great leader and true friend. I like him a lot.”

Hank rolls his eyes. This is going to be harder than he had first anticipated. It would seem Connor is unaware of his feelings for the other android. Rubbing a hand tiredly down his face, Hank continues. “Are you sure it’s just as friends that you like him?”

Connor’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. He’s so human like, that Hank often forgets that he isn’t human at all. “What are you suggesting, Lieutenant?”

“Well,” Hank hesitates. He doesn’t know how much he should actually tell Connor. “Have you ever thought that maybe you feel… uh… more?” Hank feels disgusted just asking. Fucking love.

Connor is still looking at him as if he’s grown a second head. “More?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Hank throws his hands up in the air and pulls at his hair. “Love, you dumb ass, I’m talking about love. Do you love him?”

Connor smiles at Hank’s antics. It’s never escaped Hank’s knowledge that Connor is often times amused and intrigued by the way Hank acts. “Of course, I do.”

Hank blanches. What the hell is going on? “You do?”

“Of course. Markus means a lot to me and I’m grateful for his forgiveness and friendship.”

It finally clicks. “No, Connor, I’m not talking about loving him like a friend or family of whatever. I’m talking about love love.” Connor’s eyebrows dip even more and Hank has to stop himself form sighing heavily. “Romantic love, Connor, romantic love.”

“Oh…” Connor looks away from him, cheeks turning a slight blue. Hank will never get used to that. “I… don’t know.” Connor looks back over at him. “Do you think I do?”

This time, Hank does sigh, taking a sip of his brandy. “I can’t answer that for you.”

“But you’re asking for a reason,” Connor points out, head tilting in curiosity.

“You just-” Hank starts but stop, not really knowing how to explain it. “It’s just a cop hunch, I guess.”

Connor’s eyes light up and he leans forward in interest. “How would one get a hunch?”

“It just… happens?” Hank answers, watching the android as Connor turns away, deep in thought. “It might just be a human thing, I don’t know.”

“Interesting.” Connor looks over again. “I don’t know if I could replicate that.”

Thrown off by the subject change, Hank shakes his head. “Right, that’s something we’ll have to test out later. Do you think you love Markus, Connor?”

Connor doesn’t answer him right away and instead looks up to the ceiling in thought. “I don’t know,” he finally says, bringing his eyes back to Hank. “I don’t know what love feels like.”

“Well,” Hank starts, trying to remember what it felt like with his wife before everything went to shit. “How you feel about him, is it the same way you feel towards me or Sumo?” Connor shakes his head. “Okay, what about North, Josh, and Simon? Do you feel the same towards them as you do towards Markus?” Again Connor takes a few seconds to think it over before shaking his head. “Then it’s probably a good bet that you love him.”

Connor’s cheeks grow a much more significant blue than before. “What does this mean?”

Hank gets up and pats Connor on the shoulder. “Leave it to me, Kid.” He gives Connor a smile and a curt nod before leaving the room.

*~~~*

“Okay, remember, what are you not going to talk about?” Hank asks as he straightens Connor’s tie. North has set up a trip into the park with Markus and Connor in the disguise of scouting out a destination for a press conference. Instead, they’ll go there and find a picnic waiting for them. Josh had argued the food angle again but North just glared at him and told him it was something to do with aesthetics.

“Work?” Connor says, hesitant. “Hank, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Of course, it is,” North interrupts before Hank can answer. “One of my best ideas actually. Markus is going to be here soon and Simon and Josh are setting up the picnic. Here.” She holds out a bouquet of flowers. “Give those to Markus. He likes,” she waves her hand dismissively, “naturey things.”

Connor takes the bouquet and holds them close. As the doorbell rings and Connor goes to answer it, Hank pulls North aside. “Did you get a chance to talk to Markus about his feelings towards Connor?”

North squirms. “Uh, kind of.”

Hank waits for the android to elaborate but it never comes. “And?”

“And he shot it down. He’s stubborn. If he doesn’t want to talk about something, he won’t.” North gives him a reassuring smile. “But don’t worry. He feels the same towards Connor, I know it.”

“How are you so sure?” Hank asks her, suspicious.

North shoots him a smile. “Same way you did. A hunch.”

*~~~*

Connor comes home about an hour later, much earlier than Hank had anticipated. “How’d it go?” he asks even before the android has a chance to settle in.

Connor smiles at him. “It went well. We found the perfect spot to have a press conference with plenty of coverage from snipers. It’s going to take place in a week.”

Hank closes his eyes, takes a very deep calming breath, and then opens them again. “You weren’t supposed to talk about work, Connor.”

Connor’s smile melts and Hank almost regrets being the one to cause it (he does truly regret it.) “Oh… I’m sorry Lieutenant.”

“Don’t be sorry just-” Hank scratches at his forehead in frustration. “Did you even have the picnic?”

“Markus thought is was a waste of time.” Connor shrugs, something Hank’s never seen him do before and wonders if he picked it up from him. “He’s very busy, Hank.”

“That’s not the fucking point!” Hank throws his arms up in defeat. “It was supposed to be a date, Connor. Something you both could enjoy.”

“But,” Connor starts out slow, confused. “We both did enjoy it. It was a beautiful day out and it made the walk around the park very nice.”

Hank hesitates with his retort. A walk around the park? Even though they talked shop the whole time, technically is was still a date. The two idiot androids just don’t realize that. “You didn’t ask him about his feelings towards you, did you?”

The blush is back on Connor’s cheeks and Hank decides it’s fun putting it there. “No. Josh told me not to.”

“So you’ll listen to him?”

“I’m sorry, Lieutenant.”

Hank dismisses the apology with a wave, not really caring one way or another anymore if Connor and Markus talked about work. As long as the two had fun, that’s all that really matters. “Well, I’m glad you had fun, Kid. One of us deserves to.”

“Maybe next time you could come with us,” Connor suggests.

Hank huffs a laugh. “Trust me, Connor, you don’t want an old, grumpy man like me tagging along on your date.” Connor looks at him, confused, but Hank chooses not to explain. “Come on, I’ve been called into the station. You’re welcome to come with me if you want.”

Connor’s eyes light up. “Of course, Lieutenant!”

*~~~*

They’re next try is sending them off to the aquarium that is on the other side of the city. It’ll take them at least forty-five minutes on the bus to just get there and then hopefully they’ll spend more than just an hour at the aquarium. Granted, the aquarium is full of fake android fish but they do have a special conservatory section for real life sea life that has been endangered for a long time now. Hank thinks the two will love that section.

“No,” Hank begins as he takes Connor’s tie away from him. He’s dressed the android in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt under a button up. “Keep that shirt unbuttoned. Markus will love it, trust me.”

“I don’t know if I should trust you with my fashion, Hank.” Hank furrows his brows and tilts his head in confusion, feeling like he should be insulted. Connor chuckles. “Don’t worry, I’ll leave it unbuttoned.”

“Good.” Hank sets the tie aside and looks Connor over. Markus isn’t going to know what hit him. “Now, make sure you visit the conservatory.”

“We will.”

There’s a knock on the door and Hank goes to answer it, letting North in with Markus in tow. “I told you already, Markus, it’s important for research. People aren’t going to accept us unless they know what androids are going to do for them. They already think we destroyed the economy. If we show them that we are willing to help the world, not destroy it, then they are more willing to accept us.”

“Since when were you such an activist?” Markus asks North, following Hank into the living room where Connor stands. He stops dead in his tracks and stares at the other android. “Connor you…” he trails off and Hank has to hold back a smile in success.

“Thank you Markus,” Connor smiles at Markus and Markus blushes a deep blue, looking away.

North slaps him on the back, almost causing Markus to fall over. “The conservatory at the aquarium is the perfect place to do research on the animals and find ways to show the humans that we care.”

Markus squirms where he stands, eyes darting to Connor before looking at North. “Right. Shall we get going?”

“We, as in all of us?” North asks, feigning ignorance.

Markus nods. “Yes, of course. That was the plan, wasn’t it?”

North tsks, chuckling slightly. “Oh no, I hate the aquarium.” Markus blinks at her in bewilderment. “Besides, I have other things I need to do.”

“Like what?” Markus asks her.

She shrugs. “Just things.” She leans forward into Markus’ space. “Trust me, Markus, you don’t need to know everything that I do.”

Markus sighs and turns to Hank. “What about you, Lieutenant?”

“Sorry, I can’t. I’ve got to go into work,” he answers.

“You do?” Connor asks. “You never mentioned that.”

Hank internally groans. Sometimes the cluelessness of androids was infuriating. “I’m sure I told you this morning.”

Connor is still staring at him but luckily Markus saves him. “Don’t worry, Connor. You and I can just go.”

Connor’s entire face lights up and it’s the most sickening thing Hank has seen (it’s not.) “Okay, Markus.”

They both leave and North holds out her hand for a high five. Hank looks at it, scowls, and turns away to pour himself a whisky.

*~~~*

This date lasts a lot longer than the previous one, much to Hank’s satisfaction, and when Connor comes home, he’s surprised to see Markus with him. They both are laughing, something Hank doesn’t get to see very often. It’s actually… nice.

Hank approaches the two as they settle onto the couch. “I take it, it went well?”

“Yes, there was a lot of information about all the fish and other sea life there,” Connor says. “Very informative.”

“I think North was right,” Markus adds, turning serious. “I think knowing this stuff will help in our fight for acceptance and equality for androids.”

“Glad it could help.” Hank sips his beer. “You two seemed to enjoy yourselves as well.”

“Yes,” Connor says excitedly. “Markus got splashed by a sea turtle.” Hank didn’t even know there were sea turtles at the aquarium. “It was very amusing.”

Hank chuckles, their good mood starting to rub off on him. “I can see that.”

Markus is chuckling again too, watching Connor intently as Connor goes on to explain exactly how it happened that Markus got splashed by a sea turtle. Hank scrutinizes the other android and the way he is looking at Connor. Hank never would have thought that androids were capable of showing so much emotion in their eyes but he was wrong. Markus is looking at Connor with so much longing, so much love, that it makes Hank’s own heart clench with the pain of it.

Connor turns to Markus, wide smile on his face. “Oh, you should tell Hank about the fish.”

Markus smiles back. “Which one? There were a lot of them there, Connor.”

“The one, you know, the one I befriended.”

“Why am I not surprised that you befriended a fish,” Hank comments.

Markus chuckles. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell him?”

“I want you to do it.” Connor’s own smile softens, radiating affection.

Markus turns to him, barely being able to tear his eyes from Connor. “Connor jumped into one of the tanks.”

“He what!” The whole mood for Hank changes in an instant.

“He swam with an Ocean Sun Fish.” There’s a knock on the door as Markus continues to explain. “Surprisingly, the fish took it well. Kept following Connor around the tank.

Hank stares in disbelief as he goes to answer the door. When he does, there’s a police officer standing there. “Good evening, Lieutenant.”

Hank sighs tiredly.

*~~~*

Simon picks the date this time and tells them there is no way they could mess it up. The two of them are going to go watch a movie, a romantic classic named The Notebook . Hank tries to explain that the movie really isn’t that old, that he was nineteen when the movie came out. Simon just stares at him, as if wanting to say something, but decided not to.

They have to wait a month before they can arrange it. Simon is the one to show up with Markus this time. “You can’t miss it, Markus.” Simon says as soon as he enters Hank’s house. Suddenly, Hank wonders why they always come here to meet up. “This is the only time the theater is showing it for awhile.”

Markus sighs. He sounds tired and Hank wouldn’t blame the android if he was. He’s heard that that the government has been fighting back on some of Markus’ demands and it’s taking up a lot of the android’s time. “Then you all just go without me.”

“No,” Simon says stubbornly. “You need to take a break, Markus.”

“Well, it’ll have to be you three,” Hank says quickly. “I don’t do chick flicks.”

“Then, with no disrespect, Lieutenant, but why did you say you’d go?” Markus questions.

Hank gestures towards Connor. “To get him to agree.”

Markus looks over at Connor, slight panic written on his face. “You’re not going to back out now, too, then are you?”

Connor shakes his head to reassure the other android. “No.”

Markus’ shoulder’s relax in relief. “Okay, maybe you’re right, Simon. I do need a break.”

“See.” Simon pats Markus on the shoulder. “I’m just trying to look out for-” Simon falls silent and pretends to listen. They went over it when they discussed the plan. Simon would fake a call from Josh, something urgent that needs to be taken care of but nothing requiring Markus’ help. It would give him an excuse to miss the movie. Simon pulls off disappointed perfectly. “I’m sorry, Markus, Connor, but it would seem that Josh needs my assistance.”

Markus is frowning. “But you’re the one who wanted to see this.”

“I know but… it sounded kind of urgent.”

Markus starts heading towards the door. “Then maybe I should help.”

“Nope!” Hank quickly stops the android with a hand on his shoulder. “I can help them. Simon already said you needed to take a break and quite frankly, even I can tell you need one. Go, watch the movie, have fun. But just as a warning, Connor is a talker. He’ll be asking you questions about the movie every five seconds.”

“I don’t talk that much do I?” Everyone looks at him but no one answers. Connor frowns.

Hank practically shoves them out the door. “Go!” Markus is looking at him in confusion but does as he’s told. “And stay out of trouble. Connor, don’t you fucking dare do something to make the police show up again, you hear me!? I will not help you next time!” With that, he shuts the door and gives Simon a small, little satisfied nod.

*~~~*

“The movie was very nice, Hank,” Connor tells him as they sit down on the couch, Hank with a bottle of beer and Connor petting Sumo. “I liked it a lot.”

“That’s good, Kid. What about Markus?”

“He told me that he liked it as well.” There’s a pause and Connor looks to the floor in contemplation. Hank allows him to think, not wanting to intrude on his thoughts. “We held hands as we walked back here.”

“That’s fantastic, Connor!” Hank says, a little too enthusiastic than he would normally be. He takes a deep breath, calming himself. “What else happened?”

Connor frowns, shaking his head. “Nothing.”

Hank waits for more but none comes. “You two didn’t… talk about why you were holding hands?”

“No.”

Hank sighs and rubs his face vigorously. “Who initiated the hand holding?”

“Markus.”

“Okay, good. That’s a good sign.” Hank licks his lips, takes a sip of his beer, and then allows the corners of his mouth to pull up slightly in what almost resembles a smirk. “That means we can move onto the next step.”

“The next step?”

“Yep.” Hank stands, already pulling his phone out to call North. “Time to get you kissed.”

*~~~*

The plans have to be put on hold. Markus was holding another press conference about the way the government is denying them rights when he got shot. Luckily it was only in the shoulder but it needs repair and he had bled a lot. Connor fussed, apologizing profusely at his lack of ability to protect Markus as his official bodyguard. Markus has been reassuring Connor for the past half hour that it was fine, that he was only one man, and Markus didn’t expect him to be able to protect him from everything .

Hank, North, Simon, and Josh step aside while Connor stays with Markus while the medical android works on patching Markus up. North claps her hands together. “Alright, how are we going to get those two laid.”

Josh blanches. “Is this really a good time to be discussing that?”

Hank has a different statement to make. “Hold up, I thought we were going to have them kiss.”

“Kiss, sex, same thing,” North dismisses. Hank just stares at her incredulously as she addresses Josh. “Don’t worry Josh, Markus is fine. What I’m not fine with, is continuously having to watch those two idiots pine after each other.”

“I have to be honest,” Simon starts. “I’m getting kind of tired of it too. Markus has even started staring off into space randomly.”

Josh contemplates. “I do suppose if they were official by now, Markus might have been more focused during this press conference and not have gotten shot.”

Hank doubts it but doesn’t say anything. “See? That’s the spirit Josh!” North punches his arm and Josh rubs the spot. “Okay, so, part two in our matchmaking plans. Any ideas?”

“Something romantic,” Simon inputs.

“Something harrowing,” North says.

“What about just a relaxing time together?” Josh asks.

“Uh, guys,” Hank says to get everyone’s attention as he watches the scene behind North’s shoulders. They all look at him expectantly. “I don’t think any of that will be necessary.”

All three of them turn to look at what Hank is watching and gape at the scene. There, over by the medical station, are Connor and Markus making out. “What the fuck?” North exclaims. Simon blushes, looking away, and Josh’s jaw drops.

Hank chuckles. “I guess we don’t have to worry about it anymore.” With a pat to North’s shoulder, Hank walks away, deciding to leave the three in shock, and Connor and Markus at it.

*~~~*

Hank comes home from work one night to Connor cooking. Connor never cooks. Suspiciously, Hank looks over Connor’s shoulder. “What are you making and why?”

“I am making you an all American burger.” Hank makes an appreciative sound to that. “I read that it is a classic favorite among human Americans.”

“I won’t argue with that.” Hank pours himself a glass of rum and sips it. “And why are you cooking for me?”

Connor shrugs, a movement that still throws Hank off. “I felt like it.” He turns to face Hank, spatula clutched in his hand and cheeks a light blue. “Markus is also coming over. I hope that is okay.”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He watches as Connor places the burger on a bun and then starts to garnish it with ketchup, lettuce, tomato, onions, bacon, etc. Once done, Connor hands over the plate. “Do I need to make myself scarce?”

“Why would you?” Connor asks as the doorbell rings.

“No reason,” Hank comments, smirk fully in place.

Connor looks at him in confusion before answering the door and letting Markus in. Hank greets him and Markus says hello back. “I hope you don’t mind me coming to spend some time with Connor, Lieutenant.

Hank shakes his head and sits down at the kitchen table. “Of course, not.”

Both Connor and Markus stand there awkwardly before Connor finally asks Markus, “Do you want anything?”

“I don’t eat or drink,” Markus says before blushing. He clears his throat. “I mean… sorry, thank you for the offer.”

Connor seems to be unfazed by Markus’ comment and instead smiles at him. “You’re welcome, Markus.”

They both begin standing there awkwardly again until Hank finally butts in, finishing his burger and drink. “Why don’t you two go put on a movie or something. I have some work to do out here.”

They both nod and begin to make their way to the living room when Hank calls Markus back. “Yes, Lieutenant?”

Hank stands and leans in close to Markus. “If you hurt him, android rights will be the last thing you have to worry about. Do you understand me?”

Hank watches as Markus swallows nervously and nods his head quickly. “Don’t worry, Lieutenant, I love him. I won’t hurt him.”

Hank sits back, sitting down in the chair again. “Good.” They stare at each other for a few seconds before Hank motions towards the living room. “Go on, before he wonders where you are.”

Markus nods again and Hank watches him leave. Never in his dreams would he have thought he’d ever care about androids so much, especially after what happened with Cole. But somehow, more than one of them has managed to worm their way into his heart. Specifically Connor. He cares about Connor a lot, like his own son, and he wants to protect him with everything he’s got.

But in the end, he knows Markus is good for Connor. Markus was the one who finally managed to get Connor to change his mind about what androids are all about (though Hank likes to take some credit as well, of course.) Hank wonders if it was love at first sight for Connor, not that Hank believes in that shit. At least, not anymore. He had thought he had loved his wife the moment he laid eyes on her, too, but that ended in disaster. All he can do is hope that it’ll be different for Connor and Markus.

Somehow, he truly does believe it will.

Smiling to himself, Hank pulls out some of the work he brought home with him. He feels it in his gut that this thing between Markus and Connor will last. That it’s some kind of cheesy epic love that Hank usually grimaces at. But with those two, with those two his heart warms instead of feeling disgusted. They deserve it. They deserve the happiness and love the two can give each other. And Hank is truly happy for them.

With his heart all warm and fuzzy (for once), Hank stands from his place at the table. “Come on, Sumo.” The old dog slowly gets up and follows Hank into the living room. “Hey you two, mind if a joi-” Hank stops dead in his tracks, mid sentence. There, on the couch, are two completely naked androids, one on top of the other. And when Hank says naked, he means naked . No clothes, no… no skin. Hank is so surprised at first that he stands there gaping like an idiot. Until reality strikes. Until his brain finally registers what’s going on. Until his brain registers what’s going on with his son .

“What the fuck!”

———————————————————————————————————–

A/N: Thanks for reading!

#fth 2019 #Detroit Become Human #RK1K #Conkus #Markus/Connor #Markus #Connor #Operation: Get Markus and Connor Together #My Fanfiction #Fandom Trumps hate #Fandom Trumps Hate 2019

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spin-birdie · 5 years

Text

i wrote this a week ago but apparently i never posted it whoops

pairing: rk1k word count: 1.5k additional tags: human au, hurt/comfort, character death, nightmares

Markus doesn’t think he’s ever seen so much blood. The bullet must have struck closer to Connor’s heart than he thought. Blood keeps welling from the wound faster than Markus can get rid of it; his jacket is too soaked to keep doing its job, but there’s nothing else around. His hands are coated liberally in blood.

Connor’s blood.

Fuck.

The realization hits Markus with a wave of despair and panic. “I-I can’t…I can’t stop it. Connor, what do I do? It won’t stop!”

The only answer he gets is Connor’s shallow breathing. His face is pale as a sheet, his eyes glazed over as he tries and fails to focus on Markus’ face.

“Is…is it just me or is everything around us going white?” Connor giggles. He sounds loopy, like he’s just coming down from some heavy anesthetic. It’s so far removed from his usual temperament. Markus would probably find it fascinating if Connor wasn’t actively bleeding out.

Connor’s eyes unfocus and drift up to the ceiling again. The fear sitting in Markus’ stomach like lead grows exponentially. “Connor?” Markus snaps his fingers in front of Connor’s face. “Connor, hey, stay with me…”

“Markus…” Connor whispers. He coughs to clear his throat, only to trigger a coughing fit that has him wincing in pain. “Will you be sad when I die?”

Markus shakes his head, like that will erase the possibility of Connor’s death. “What sort of question is that? Listen, you are not going to die. I swear it. We’ll get you some help, okay? Hank is on the way, we’ll get you to a hospital.”

Connor chuckles again. “I almost forgot about Dad. Damn it, this is gonna kill him.”

“No one is going to die! Connor, you can’t die, okay? Come on, please stay…”

“I can’t, Markus. I’ve lost too much blood already.”

“Then try to bleed slower, goddammit!”

Some higher part of Markus’ brain knows he’s speaking irrationally, that they both know Connor is a goner, but he refuses to accept it. Every reminder of Connor’s injury is like a knife being twisted in Markus’ gut; he’d rather die himself than see Connor in pain like this. Watching Connor die is like feeling a part of himself die, and he’s just fucking giggling about it.

“What is it?”

“I’ve never seen you cry this much before. It’s like when we watched that movie where the main girl sacrificed herself at the end and I kept crying for, like, an hour after the movie ended.” Connor laughs again. “I guess we’re even now, right?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“It’s okay,” Connor insists. “Markus, it’s okay. I’m ready for this. Don’t go thinking this is your fault, because it’s not.”

“I… How can you say that?”

Because it is Markus’ fault. It’s his fault for not resisting more when Connor swore to protect him. It’s his fault for not taking the bullet. It’s his fault for not pushing him out of the way, for not calling an ambulance faster. It’s his fault because he wasn’t there when it mattered.

“I’m really cold right now.”

“Connor…”

“Shit,” Connor breathes, grinning weakly. “You wanna know the most pathetic thing? I just realized I’m going to die…without ever kissing anyone. I-I mean if I’ve gone twenty-five years without having my first kiss, I must have done something wrong, y’know?”

Markus thinks Connor told him about that at some point. He covers Connor’s hand with his and opens his mouth to speak, but the words die on his tongue. Connor’s skin is shockingly cold, but his blood is still warm, and Markus can’t decide which sensation is worse.

He stays there for a moment, frozen, before Connor speaks again. “Markus, would you…kiss me?”

Markus’ heart seizes at the words. “Excuse me?”

“You don’t have to. I just…” Connor’s eyes fall to Markus’ lips in a movement that Markus isn’t sure is intentional. “…I wonder what it feels like.”

“Connor, I don’t…understand…”

“You don’t understand me asking you to kiss me?”

“No, I just--”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

A lot of things, Markus is sure, but all his thoughts have seemingly dried up. It feels like he’s watching Connor through water; and not just because he’s crying.

The truth is he’s thought of kissing Connor…more than once before. It’s been getting harder to ignore as of late. It seems like there’s too much tension between them, so many things left unsaid, and Markus isn’t sure how much of it he’s just imagining.

Before he can think about it any further, Markus leans down and presses his lips to Connor’s. He wants to kiss him so urgently, try to carry across all the things he never said, try to commit the feeling of Connor’s lips to memory.

But he won’t. Not like this. He can’t do that to Connor when he’s so close to slipping away.

The kiss is gentle, almost unbearably careful compared to the rapid beating of Markus’ heart. Connor barely manages to reciprocate. They break away reluctantly.

“Hah…Markus just kissed me…” Connor says giddily.

“Uh…yeah. Yeah, I did.”

Connor smiles, humming fondly. “Your lips are so soft. It’s…not what I expected.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

For a moment, Connor looks so peaceful, staring up at the ceiling dazedly. Markus’ hand is still resting over Connor’s, so he squeezes and leans closer, close enough to notice tears shining in Connor’s eyes. When he blinks, they spill down his face. There’s something indescribable and forlorn in those eyes.

“…Connor?”

As if a switch has been flipped, Connor bursts into tears. He pries Markus’ hand open to lock their fingers together, squeezing with all the energy he has. “Why, Markus?” he sobs. “I thought-- Fuck, I was ready to die, but…but now…damn it, I…I don’t want to die!”

Watching Connor choke on his own sobs is its own torture. There’s nothing Markus can do except hold his hand and choke out, “Connor!”

Connor’s other hand rests over his chest-- his wound. “I don’t…want to die… N-No, I want to be with you, Markus… I should’ve said it sooner…”

“W-What?”

Connor looks right into Markus’ eyes with such fear and sorrow that it just about destroys him. “I want to be with you, always… I love you, Markus… An-And now…now it’s too late…to…”

His bawling comes to a stop just as his words do. Markus realizes too late that the life has almost entirely drained from Connor’s face. “No, no…! Connor, please hold on! …C-Connor? Connor!”

When Markus next opens his eyes, everything is dark. His back hurts, and he’s cold. The sticky, poisonous feeling of blood on his hands is gone.

He remembers now; he insisted to sleep in the hospital, but the cots they keep for guests aren’t the best. If he squints, he can make out the sliver of light from the crack beneath the door.

It was a dream. A really fucked up nightmare about kissing his best friend and then watching him fucking die--

Markus sits bolt upright, blinking and praying for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Connor. He has to know if Connor is alright. He has to know he hasn’t been taken away for surgery, or worse.

Once he’s adjusted to the lackluster amount of light, he sees Connor in the hospital bed next to him. His eyes are closed -- completely unresponsive -- and his chest and shoulder are bandaged up.

He knows he shouldn’t, but Markus nudges Connor anyway. “Hey, Connor?”

When Connor begins to stir, Markus feels the weight of the world fall off his shoulders. “Huh? What is it?”

Markus tries not to sigh as heavily as he wants to. “Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were…alright.”

Connor stares right at Markus, his face unreadable. “Did you have a nightmare or something?”

“Uh…ye-yes.”

“About what?”

Markus wants to give him the whole truth. Dreams often reflect reality in some way, and if this one had any literal meaning, it’s probably ‘confess your feelings before the man you love takes two bullets to the chest and doesn’t survive’.

He could say it right now. He could confess and get it out of the way; let Connor reject him now so he can get over it sooner. But this probably isn’t the best time to spring something like that on him.

“It was nothing, really. I just, uh…” Markus takes a breath, willing himself to stop shaking. “You mean a lot to me, man. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Connor hums. “Same here.”

Neither of them speak for a moment. “Connor?”

“Yes?”

“When you recover…like, when you get out of here, we should do something together. Go out for lunch, take a walk, something like that.”

Connor leans back in his bed and yawns. “I know a place with a good view of the harbor.”

“Sounds good.” Markus hesitates before adding, “Goodnight, then. Sorry for waking you.”

“Don’t worry about it. Goodnight, Markus.”

Markus lays back down, rolling onto his side and trying to go back to sleep with one thing in mind;

When Connor recovers, he has to tell him how he really feels. For his own sake, if nothing else.

#dbh #detroit become human #rk1k #rk1000 #conkus #fanfiction #original #whump #hurt/comfort

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bastionkeeper · 5 years

Text

I feel bad for my lack of updates lately so....

Here! I wrote this in @nonbinarydisaster ‘s dms because we were talking about an rk1k wedding, I neatened it up as much as my exhausted brain let me but it’s still very much a rough fic, regardless I offer it up to you readers for staying loyal during my hiatus <3 enjoy! Full story under read more! Warning for vague descriptions of coatroom sex ;)

EDIT: forgot to mention but Nathan is what we call Nines and Serenade is an old oc from a different fic

“So, you freaking out yet?”

Connor turned to Hank, stopping with his constant struggle against the bow-tie that won't sit straight and the mirror that shows off every flaw of his suit. His partner was leaning in the doorway with a glass in hand, eyeing him up with a smile. Connor decided to deflect.

"Drinking already?" he asked, turning back to the mirror and fussing over his bow-tie again. "I'm not even married yet and you're already celebrating."

"It's a coke," Hank said, rolling his eyes. "But I'll be hitting that open bar as soon as you say 'I do' make no mistake about that."

Connor smirked, trying to fall back into the classic Hank and Connor banter instead of thinking about saying 'I do.'

"You're definitely freaking out, stop that," Hank sighed, setting his glass aside and slapping Connor's hands away from his tie. He straightened it effortlessly, and moved on to the rest of Connor's suit running his hands over it to smooth it out. "You look fine, Connor."

"I'll be having words with the tailor," Connor huffed.

"And those words will be 'thank you for dealing with my constant pestering,'" Hank said. "You're just nervous, the suit is fine. Lay off it before you work it to shreds."

Connor sighed and took a seat in a nearby chair. He could hear North and the others setting up downstairs, the balcony hid none of the sound even if the curtains hid the reception hall from sight. Connor is tempted to pull back the curtains and watch everyone work, but North gave him strict orders to stop bossing them around and go relax before the ceremony. He was supposed to be having a drink and taking some deep breaths, instead he was staring at his reflection and trying not to bolt.

"What if he deserves better than me...?" Connor said, wringing his hands and looking up at Hank with hunched shoulders and an uncertain gaze.

"S'not about deserve," Hank said, taking a sip of his drink. "He's stuck with you now, and he's happier for it. If you're both happy then stop worrying about deserve and just get on with it."

"As always, your advice brings me relief and confusion," Connor replied dryly, causing Hank to laugh.

"Kid, you've got a good thing here," he said. "Don't ruin it with fear. Just remember, you two have known each other years now. This day isn't a big deal, it's not even 'making it official' it's just a party and some words..."

"And an open bar," Connor remarked, earning another laugh.

"You two are together already, and this day is nothing more than a celebration of the fact," Hank said. "Just ignore all of us and tell him how you feel, alright?"

Connor takes a deep breath, feeling his overworked systems cool as he nods. "Thanks, Hank."

"Hey, it's what a dad's supposed to do when his kid gets married."

Connor heard Hank get choked up at that, and looked at him curiously. He saw Hank quickly wipe at his eyes and the sight made Connor beam.

"Are you...?"

"No, fuck you," Hank sniffed. "I'm gonna go get another fucking soda. I'll see you down there."

Connor let him go express his feelings in private, feeling bolstered by the teary eyed paternal joy.

When North comes to get him, bring him to his place, his anxiety is greatly lessened. It's still there of course, it stays with him the whole while Hank leads him up the aisle to wait for Markus's approach. It only vanishes when he sees him.

Markus looked good in clothes he fished out of a junkyard, so of course he looks breathtaking in an eight hundred dollar tux. Connor forgot himself for a moment and rushed down to meet him halfway, and only realized what he was doing when the crowd rumbled with laughter at his hurried kiss to Markus's temple. He blushed, but Markus laughed and kissed his hand, and then it was just the two of them again.

Markus held Connor's hands and promised him his love, his attention, and to stop splattering him with paint when he's in his good clothes. Connor promised Markus his love, his protection, and to lay off the schedules. A little bit. A slight reduction of about 13%

. Markus laughed a lot, his mismatched eyes crinkling in mirth and everytime he laughed Connor lost himself a little to this man he was going to be with forever. When they're told to kiss, Connor doesn't need to be asked twice. He dips Markus, who is clearly surprised by the passion, but gets his revenge by dipping Connor right back. Connor hears Hank and North wolf-whistle and sees Simon crying and clapping when they pull apart.

"I love you... so much," Markus breathed into his ear, something just for them to share.

There's a lot of applause, and eventually the wedding party all trails out. Nathan took his best man duties very seriously. It didn't matter that Connor never assigned one best man, just asked Nathan and Hank to be there for him (Markus claimed North or else she'd be on his side too), in Nathan's mind it was his job to part the crowd of well-wishers and get Connor and Markus to their table. He might have stood there like a bodyguard all night if Simon hadn't dragged him off to their table.

"Would you like something to drink, Mr. Manfred?" Markus teased. Connor tilted his head.

"I think I would, Mr. Anderson."

They had never decided on abbreviating or just keeping things as they were. Considering last names were a novelty for androids anyway, they had the luxury of time to decide.

Markus, as it turns out, didn’t even need to go get drinks because North kept the champagne and thirium coming with dutiful attention to their empty glasses. Connor also spotted her and Hank making mixed drinks of their own invention whenever they thought Connor was not looking, dumping mini bottles into already potent glasses. Connor let them have their fun, maybe it was the champagne making him dizzy or maybe it was Markus's hand on his leg but he couldn't really seem to care about anything but the man at his side right now.

They dance, and it's all careful programmed steps and showing off for the crowd. When they're alone they let their bodies move as they will, but both Markus and Connor like the way people ooh and aah at how they can move with precision and grace so they put on a little show.

The dance floor quickly fills up, Hank takes North for a spin and Connor is surprised to see Nathan is convinced to dance at least three times by Simon, Markus, and Serenade. He shoots his brother a smile, and is pleased to see him scowl back with a faint blush as each dance partner makes him loosen up and have fun for once.

Hank managed to give a speech with minimal tears, though he did wave his glass around a lot. North cut in on his time, stealing the microphone and calling Connor "her main bitch" and Markus "the best ex turned friend a bot could ask for." Connor pretended to boo them away, pleased at the middle fingers they flashed him and embarrassing stories they told. Nathan gives a much more formal speech, but by the end of it he's crying a little and Connor has to come hug him until he's less overwhelmed. Nathan holds him tight and swears a Hankish amount of times.

Eventually, Markus's hand on his leg grew higher and higher, and both androids found themselves flush with alcohol and newlywed passion as they snuck off to be alone.

"And where do you think you two are going?" North asked, making them both jump with surprise in the nearly empty hallway.

"...breath of fresh air?" Markus says just as Connor says "looking for Hank."

"Hank's sobering up in the bathroom," North said, jerking her head in the direction of the coat closet.

"So, you better take that instead. I'll play lookout for exactly fifteen minutes and then I'm going back to drinking the old man under the table."

Connor doesn't care whose coats they're sending scattering to the floor when he pushes Markus up onto a counter. He pulls his husband's tie free with his teeth and... oh, his husband. He likes the sound of that.

They make love, Markus with a hand over Connor's mouth to keep him quiet, both of them grinning like idiots when they aren't pressing kisses to exposed skin or gasping for breath.

Connor remembers saying "mine now," a few times, much to Markus's delight. He's embarrassed post orgasm, but Markus just laughs and peppers his face in kisses.

"And you have the papers to prove it," he ribbed playfully while Connor covered his face.

"It's the champagne talking," he groaned.

"I sure hope it's not, Mr. Manfred," Markus said, kissing Connor deep.

"We've used up our fifteen minutes, Mr. Anderson," Connor reminded him as Markus pulled Connor's lip with his teeth.

They leave the coatroom wearing each others ties and tucking their shirts back in. Their first argument as a married couple is spent giggling as Connor demands Markus fix his sex mussed hair, as he is too wasted to do so properly. Markus refuses, says he looks cute and that he wants people to see. Connor says that's a terrible idea, but flushes proudly regardless.

"Connor!" Hank says when they come back to the party, throwing arms around both grooms. "Markus! I'm so fucking happy for you two."

"I'm pretty happy myself, sir," Markus laughs, before North drags Hank off again. Connor and Markus take their seats and watch as Nathan is mobbed by children who all want a turn riding on his shoulders.

"You think he's next?" Connor asked, gesturing to Nathan.

"He's good with kids, not long before someone snatches him up," Markus said with a chuckle. "I know a dozen or so androids begging for the chance."

"Well they'll have to get my approval first," Connor huffed. Markus kisses him, and Connor kisses him back and it's been minutes before they stop kissing and laughing so caught up in the moment.

"Eat your cake, you were so excited about it," Markus teased.

"No," Connor growled, nipping at Markus's ear.

"Eat your damn cake!" Markus laughed again, dabbing his finger in some icing and smearing it on Connor's lips. Connor licked it off, and pretended to scowl at Markus, all the while just taking him in. He was so beautiful, Connor just wanted to stare at him forever.

Connor’s not entirely sure how they got home when he wakes up the next morning. He’s dimly aware of him and Markus arguing over who got to carry who over the threshold, and the ensuing wrestling turned affection that came from it. Other than that the night has blurred into North’s loyal drink refilling and Markus’s beautiful eyes.

Connor turned in bed to look at the android in question, finding him slumbering peacefully in rest mode. He took note of the ring on the hand splayed across the pillow, pride and joy both rising in his chest as he eyed it over.

“You’re staring pretty hard,” Markus mumbled, not so asleep after all. Connor laughed sheepishly, snuggling closer to press a kiss to Markus’s nose.

“How do you know what I’m doing with your eyes closed like that?” he said.

“I’m your husband, I know everything,” Markus said back, yawning to cool biocomponents warmed from inaction under a warm blanket.

“That so, Mr. Anderson?”

“It is, Mr. Manfred.”

#dbh #rk1k #conkus #rk1000 #blatantbalderdash

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