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#i think *probably* this is all another instance of my body being like ‘fuck you yr life sux why aren’t you improving things!!!’
k-hotchoisan · 28 days
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hi I saw that your requests are open! can you write about needy/horny hongjoong being a messy kisser and overstimulation (only if you're comfortable with it) 💕 tysm 💕
At this point I should just make a masterlist of ateez members being perverts because that’s where all of these fics are swerving to (not that I’m complaining 😛)
Thank you for the wait, here’s your meal ✨🌶️
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wetting your lips
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<hongjoong x fem!reader>
He’s just your sugar daddy right? No strings attached. At least that’s what he thinks until the both of you make out, and you see how fucking deep his obsession with you runs.
Genre/warnings: perverted, possessive, DILF sugar daddy!Hongjoong, smut, Hongjoong is possessive as much as he’s horny (we love that for him), blowjob, deep throat, cumming un/touched, overstimulation, sloppy, making out, vibrator play, unprotected sex, cream pie
Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie @voicesinmyhead-rc @pre1ttyies @hwallazia @songmingisthighs @yeosangiess @sanhwajjong @interweab @mylovelymito @softwsan @yourlocaljonghoe
🩷 Stay perverted: the masterlist
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“No strings attached”, is what Hongjoong would tell you during the earlier days of this transactional relationship. Little did he realise he would be eating his fucking words. 
Initially, it started off with spoiling you with dinners and gifts. Truthfully, it was kind of jarring—solely because it was something you never thought of stepping your foot in. Hongjoong was fine with the arrangement, showering you with gifts and dinners. He was always polite and gentle, sometimes even flirty with you. He never brought up intimacy—at least, not until the third month mark. 
And you wonder to yourself how did Hongjoong keep all of that to himself, because he was something in bed. He wasn’t rough by any means—dominant—definitely. You could tell he got off taking the lead in bed on top of fucking the ever loving shit out of you. 
Fucking him—or being fucked by him was nothing like your previous partners. Despite him being significantly older than you, he had some sort of vigor, one that definitely always left you wanting more. He started becoming more flirtatious, his hands always around your body whenever he could, enjoying seeing red tint flush against your cheeks whenever he said something dirty. He began picking you from campus more often as well. 
It was to the extent that on some days during your classes, you would blank out briefly, whatever you were supposed to be absorbing completely replaced by your little escapades with him the night before—him driving his cock right into your wet hole from below, muttering such dirty things—“that’s my good girl, taking my cock like that. You love that don’t you?”, and the way he would hold your thighs down so you wouldn’t squirm and take his fucking cock like his good little girl while you leak all over him and completely break. By the time you snapped out of it, your thighs were squeezed on reflex. You were never gonna fucking tell Hongjoong that, obviously. 
There was one thing you realised he doesn’t do during sex—kissing. It wasn’t that he would avoid you if you kissed him—you didn’t initiate because he never placed his lips in the proximity of yours. You chalked it off as probably something he wasn’t comfortable with, and you weren’t about to force him anyway. 
Then another popped—up the more Hongjoong had you around him—his possessiveness progressively built. Initially it was subtle; Hongjoong would rest his hand on your thigh if he was seated beside you—he loved doing that, especially when your thighs are bare. There was an instance where he was picking you up from campus, he called your name, pulling your attention away from your friend. Your male friend. 
“Boyfriend?” He’d ask. You stay frozen, unsure of what to reply to your friend. But you shake your head while you plaster a smile before you waved him off and entered Hongjoong’s car. 
As you clip your seatbelt on, Hongjoong casts you a glance from the side before he presses against the accelerator. 
“Who was that?”
You look up at him and blink. “Classmate”, you reply curtly, before pulling out your phone.
“The both of you seem close”, he comments, shifting his gaze away back to road. 
“Yeah he’s my group mate”, you reply, nonchalant about the tightening grip Hongjoong had on the steering wheel. He’s irritated, his jaw is clenched but he doesn’t know why.
“What were the both of you talking about?” He asks next. Your gaze lifts from the phone to the road ahead of you, wondering why Hongjoong was suddenly asking you all of these questions. 
“Nothing. He was asking who you were. That’s all.” 
Hongjoong’s jaw tightens slightly more. His eyes don’t leave the road. 
“And what did you reply?”
You finally whip your head to face Hongjoong, confusion partnered with furrowed eyebrows all over your face. 
“Why does that matter?”
“Answer me, doll.” 
And you immediately simmer down slightly, your eyes back on the road. 
“What would you want me to answer?” You deflect, hoping, praying, that he’d leave this alone. It was making your heart pump a hundred miles per second. 
“I asked you first.”
Now you can’t help but to roll your eyes. 
“I didn’t say anything.”
Hongjoong cocks an eyebrow. “Elaborate.”
Your arms are crossed. There is a prick of irritation stemming from your heart, but you aren’t able to pinpoint the cause of it. 
“He asked me if you were my boyfriend, but I didn’t reply.”
This time, Hongjoong quietens down, but you catch a glint in his eye—something you’ve never seen before. 
Boy, were you in for a fucking ride. 
The moment you step into his penthouse, you make a beeline for the showers, like you always did, but this time, your heart is hammering in your chest. As the hot water washes the soap off, you wonder about Hongjoong’s recent behaviour towards you. Even though Hongjoong has always been a direct person, he’s like a puzzle you could never figure out. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t seem to get him out of your head. Especially when he’s been more affectionate recently. It’s sending you into a spiral. 
Hongjoong is drying your hair as he combs it. And it’s the little things like these that makes your heart flutter. But he still hasn’t answered you about why he was questioning you so much in the car over a friend.
You turn to him. 
“Now you answer me.”
Hongjoong is avoiding your gaze. The prick in your heart is starting to germinate. 
“Then I’ll accept his date. He was asking me out anyway.” 
That makes Hongjong whip his head so fucking fast, and he’s glaring daggers into you. 
“No. You’re not going.”
You cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. 
“And why not? It’s not like we’re dating or anything. You said it before—no strings attached, right?” 
Hongjoong’s jaw clenches. This is driving him insane. He knows. He just doesn’t want to admit it. And he’s about to find out that this would be the turning point. 
“It doesn’t apply this time. I’m not allowing you.”
“You think we’re something? Yeah, wefuck, but youdon’t even kiss me,” You spit. You’ve never challenged Hongjoong like this before, especially given the basis of this peculiar relationship. This was definitely new to you. And him. 
Hongjoong stares at you. Hard. His expression is indecipherable. He shifts closer to you, you who remains still, gaze tracing his movements as Hongjoong closes the distance between the both of you. His thumb presses against your chin, his fingers holding your chin up. You scoff internally, because it’s not like you’re running away-
-and his lips are pressed onto yours. Your mind is buzzing. So much chemicals are colliding in your mind. Sure, the fucking sent you into another realm, but from a kiss? Maybe you just didn’t expect Hongjoong to actually kiss you. 
Hongjoong’s head is as spinning as madly as yours is. There’s a reason why he doesn’t kiss his flings, his partners. He doesn’t like the idea of how kissing turns him vulnerable. He doesn’t care about the emotional connections. But with you? Dear god, he could break his own fucking rules for that. In his own perverse ways. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss you. But he was afraid of the entanglement it would ensue should it happen. It drives him crazy. Even though he was the one who foolishly mentioned no strings attached, he swears he’s the one at his feet for you. 
The kiss deepens as Hongjoong coaxes you to part your lips, and you do, shakily, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Hongjoong stumbles slightly, but his lips are messy against yours. He swallows hard when the both of you pull back, a thin string of spit slowly pulling apart between two swollen lips. 
It’s only then you realised what the hell you’ve done. You’ve gained clarity after the steamy make out session, but one glance at Hongjoong, his cheeks and ears and flushed red, and his eyes are hazed. 
You tug against the drenched boxers Hongjong has on, pulling it down as he peels the silk lounge wear off you. Your breath is heavy at the sight beneath his pants—thick white, leaking and trickling down his thick and heavy shaft.
Hongjoong’s eyes are growing wilder by the second. His hands catch yours and he places your palm on his chest. You feel it—his heartbeat is as wild as his eyes. 
Before you realise it, your back hits the mattress and Hongjoong is towering over you. Your hands are off him, but his hands are trailing all over you—cupping your tits before the sensation of his fingers are tickling your sides, and then he’s at your thighs. He casts you one more glance. 
“If you don’t stop me now, I don’t know what I might do”, Hongjoong warns gently. 
“Hongjoong”, you call out, the tips of his fingers trailing teasingly against the curve of his jaw. “What else have you been keeping in that dirty little mind of yours?”
The sides of Hongjoong’s lips crack into a smile. “So many fucking things, doll.” 
It’s not as if you never used a vibrator with Hongjoong during sex, in fact, he almost seemed to always hold back his enthusiasm when you told him you wanted to use the vibrator during sex. 
But what you failed to realise was how frenzied he almost seemed to be whenever the vibrator came into play. Little did you know his true fantasy was to stuff you full with it, and watch you writhe and beg while he fucks his hand. 
You swallow hard when the vibrator hits the perfect spot again. You push your thighs together, trying to get the toy to hit the spongy spot once again, because fuck, you were so fucking close to cumming. It feels so fucking good. You glance at Hongjoong, who twirls the controller with this pretty fingers. He looks so sickeningly satisfied, watching the way you’re squirming, trying to reach your high, your eyes so glazed out, your whines sounding like symphony to his ears when you beg him to let you cum when he lowers the vibration intensity with his thumb. 
“Hongjoong”, you choke, jerking once more when the vibrator ups it’s buzz once more. Now tears streaming down your cheeks from the constant jump between the lack of and overstimulation. “I wanna cum. Let me cum, please.” You’re practically grinding your hips against the sheets, so much cream leaking past the vibrator that if you sat up, the toy would definitely slip out, and that’s why Hongjoong has you seated like a good girl, legs closed to keep the toy stuffed nicely in you. 
The imagery of you giggling with your male classmate turns Hongjoong’s gaze dark. He cracks a smile, devoid of anything pleasant before he rips your orgasm away from you once more, hearing you cuss for the nth time with your legs twitching. 
“No.” He simply says. “Not yet.”
You hiccup, so fucked out from the pulsing pleasure that you don’t know how much more of this you can take. 
You watch hungrily as Hongjoong strokes his fat, red-tipped cock slowly, beads of precum leaking off the slit, listening to him sigh shakily as his hands slip down his slippery shaft. 
“Fuck yourself with your little toy. If you can last till I cum, I’ll make sure you’ll cum so fucking good, doll”, he proposes. You nod as you bite your lip, desperate to get some form of release, even though you weren’t sure if you were gonna last. 
You spread your legs wide open in front of Hongjoong, gingerly pulling out the vibrator, groaning at the way it drags out of your wet cunt before pushing it back in, your toes curling from how good it feels. Hongjoong almost loses it here, watching how your pussy stretches when you push the toy in. 
And you slowly fuck yourself with the toy, letting yourself fall back against the plush, thick pillows behind you. You feel like you’re doing okay, that is, until Hongjoong amps up the fucking intensity and you’re back to shaking and your voice climbs in octave when you whimper. You’re almost tempted to just fucking release it—it feels so fucking good. Just when you’re about to give up, the intensity slows down to a dull buzz, and you take a sharp inhale, your eyes meeting Hongjoong as he watches you like a predator while his hand makes more of a mess on his pretty cock. You still fuck yourself slowly on the toy, even though it’s by instinct that you want to fuck yourself stupid with it. 
Not yet. You wanted to be Hongjoong’s good girl. 
You lift your hips slightly, the angle letting the vibrator push into deeper parts of your pussy, and you wonder if you regret it or thank the fucking gods for it because when Hongjoong sees you do it, he raises the vibration, making you gasp, your legs snapping shut. 
“Keep them open, baby. You wanna cum, don’t you?” Hongjoong reminds you. He’s obviously enjoying the fucking show—the clear precum slowly turning more white and thicker by the minute. 
“Can’t help it, Joong. Feels so fuckin amazing”, you mutter, hearing Hongjoong’s pretty chuckle echo in your ears while he watches you failing at holding your composure while the vibrator is fucking its vibrations right into your fucking core. 
“Fuck. Look at that pretty little pussy of yours. I’m almost jealous,” Hongjoong sighs as he lowers the vibrations once more, simply to admire how easily the toy slides out of your cunt only to be pushed back again, completely drenched and sticky. 
Without a doubt, watching you fall apart while you fuck yourself like that is sending Hongjoong into a fucking spiral. The one time where he almost walked into you fucking yourself with your dildo triggered something so perverted in him. And before he realised it, his pants pooled a dark patch watching you slap the toy right at your clit, before you would slowly drag it down to your soaked cunt, then pushing it in slowly before you stuffed your poor cunt full. The icing on top? When you were moaning his name sounding so fucking needy,  and before he knew it, cum had soaked his pants. Since then, he’d stay by the doorway of his bedroom, often never telling you when he would be back, just to catch you fucking yourself with your toys just so he could indulge in his fantasies. 
Just when you’re getting used to the low vibrations again, Hongjoong amps it up once more, watching your eyes roll back when he ups it at the moment you had the vibrator stuffed into your pussy. Before you could even register, you feel a tug from behind, and your concentration is at Hongjoong—who has his hands in your hair, pulling it away from your face while he kneels so his cock is right at your face. 
You look up at him, your free hand immediately going up to fuck his cock while you continue to fuck yourself with the vibrator. Somehow, it only makes you feel so fucking good. 
“Open wide, doll”, Hongjoong gestures, giving you a tug from the back so your mouth is at the tip of his cock, not missing the way you moan slightly at his roughness. You stick your tongue out, lapping the thick cream around his cock before he pushes the back of your head, your mouth covering the entirety of his cock. 
“That’s it, baby. Fuck. So fucking amazing”, Hongjoong bites the inner of his cheek, completely dropping the remote onto the bed as his other hand joins to the back of your head. 
Your mind is completely mushed—mouth being stuff full of cock while the vibrator is pushing right your g-spot, at such a mind breaking intensity. You try your best to bob your head, at one point letting Hongjoong fuck your face while groaning at the way he’s tugging your hair, adding on to the rapidly building orgasm that was about to burst, even though drool and precum were trickling down the corners of your lips from how much he’s creaming down your throat. 
His cock twitches and he pulls out slightly before he pushes in again once more, barely giving you the time of the day. “Cumming. I’m cumming, doll”, he grunts, his hips pressing against you. ��Fuck. You’re such a good fucking girl, aren’t you?”
Your eyes roll back from the pleasure, your legs twitch at that moment—your orgasm spraying out of you while it floods your entire system at the same time, your mind completely going blank while Hongjoong has cum down your throat, the tangy salty fluids following down your throat while your tears leak past your eyes from the sheer fucking pleasure. Your fingers have left pretty scratches down his thighs, and you’re sure he’s gonna love it later. You never thought it would have come down to this.
Hongjoong pulls out slowly, his hands letting go of your hair, stroking your jaw instead before he kneels before you, and engulfs your lips, tasting himself in your tongue. 
There he goes again—his eyes completely glazed out when his lips are on yours, like he can’t get enough of it. And he doesn’t—because he doesn’t soften. 
“So good. Need more, doll. You can take it right? Take whatever I give you”, Hongjoong whispers, the tint flushing his cheeks once more. He makes you face away from him this time—back against his chest, and his wet cock is right at your pussy. 
You swear he’s gonna be the death of you. 
Hongjoong rubs his cockhead against your hole, before he pushes himself in, groaning as you take him inch by inch, stretching your pussy out so well. You’re beginning to drool again—almost shutting off the moment he has you filled up to the brim. 
“Warm and tight. Fucking perfect, doll”, he sighs. You feel yourself drip with more cream. 
Then he starts to fuck you from below, and you’re immediately grasping for any ounce of sanity left in you. But it’s obvious Hongjoong is only gonna fuck it all out of you by the time this over. You lift your leg up by instinct, letting him hit deeper into you, and he groans at how tightly you’re squeezing him. 
His arms are wrapped around you, more tighter and more intimate than usual. And all the thoughts and theories are completely muffled when you feel his cockhead pressing against your g-spot once again. 
“You’re so pretty when you look like that, baby. So fucked out and used by me”, he laughs right in your ears. 
“Yeah. So perfectly used by you”, you agree, your hips bouncing off his cock as well. 
“Of course. My girl is perfect”, his reply sending butterflies flooding your stomach, though you were certain it was mostly because of his cock. 
The thrusting becomes more desperate—the sound of wet skin slapping only growing louder by the second, it makes your toes curl and your head spin. Hongjoong feels so fucking good in you and you swear you could get completely drunk off his cock. It’s also the fact that he’s jackhammering his cock right into you right after he made you swallow his fucking cum moments before that’s making you so disgustingly hooked onto him. And sometimes, it scares you how much you just want him all for yourself. Little did you realise you’ve flooded every crevice of Hongjoong’s mind when the intimacy begins to intensify. Every time he tells himself that he shouldn’t let his feelings mix with the pleasure, you unintentionally pull him back in again, and now he’s completely hooked. 
“Mine, mine, mine”, Hongjoong whispers, biting down onto your neck as a soft moan passes through your ears, and you feel warm, thick cum flood your walls. Stars flood your eyelids as your second orgasm crashes into you, your fingernails leaving light trails of red on his thigh while your pussy milks Hongjoong dry, more cum seeping out 
In between pants and catching breaths as both your highs gradually die down, you turn around to face Hongjoong, your lips ready to part to say something, but Hongjoong beats you to it. 
“Now you can let your little friend know that you have a partner. A partner who’s fucking head over heels for you.”
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Can I get more horndog Nikto pls? Like Nikto legit wanting the reader every way emotionally and physically, becoming territorial of them, and the reader doesn't take him seriously because they don't wanna be another conquest. Sad horny boi lol
HORNDOG!NIKTO FOR MY NIKTO GIRLS.
- He is jealous, it’s pretty much in his Slavic dna to be, so once you show him a bit of affection without strings attached, he gets territorial. Nikto does a lot of questionable things to ensure the recruits know you’re off limits. From standing really close to you no matter what you’re doing at that moment, to literally pressing himself against your body like a horny dog. The creepiest thing he’s done was probably standing in a corner, intensively watching you read from afar. Recruits would get scared about coming to you for advice because he was there, awkwardly staring and they would get chills (he’s just so silly!).
- The first time Nikto got to know your sweet side was when you made biscuits for the barracks and decided to bring some to him too. He was not the type to hang around the base, so having such sweet little thing like you come and knock on his door with a bag of biscuits was very surprising and suspecting on his side. He found you hot, there was no denying, so having many other instances where you would do something for him without asking anything in exchange was starting to grow onto him. You always brushed it off, how possessive he began to be about you, thinking he was just an awkward adult that didn’t get to learn proper socialization, and well part of that was true. You kept brushing his affections off, he was like that and nothing could change him. You knew he liked women, too much for your own good, and part of you did not want to end up as another conquest.
- Many times he grew frustrated of you, because no matter how many signs he gave, you always seemed to not understand, or maybe not care at all. He would touch you, press himself into you, sweet talk to you, yet all you would do is pat his head and crack a joke, continuing with your duties and leaving him there, by himself, contemplating weather he should just give up and leave you be. And truth is he was close to leave you be many times.
- What he didn’t know was that you kinda felt the same, you always found in Nikto a safe place, from the instance you joined KorTac he was always there, sure he was as hard as a rock at the beginning, but you made your way into the small remains of his cold, broken heart. It started strangely, you’ve seen him alone once, back laid on the side of a small balcony, while his gaze was lost into nothingness. It hit you, how he was never around, he was never with the boys, never made attempts to make friends, and part of you knew he was afraid, afraid of scaring anyone. Truth is recruits always feared him, even if he never gave them a reason to. The only person he would get along with was König, and occasionally you’d see him in Horangi’s or Kreuger’s company. His mask was most of the times on, and you started to pity him. Such a poor, lonely man. God knows the last time he felt the warm touch of a woman, and not the touch you feel when the only thing you do is fuck, because he did not lack intercourse in his life, but the loving touch of a woman genuinely caring about him? That’s a whole different story.
- You started small, afraid of coming off too clingy. You brought him biscuits, you always made sure to carry a bottle of water at practice, knowing he would always drink a lot and would remain without one lot of times. You’d pass him your bottle and he’d thank you, almost shyly if you squint. You’d bring his clothes to his room from the drier, your excuse being that you were already there so why not, you’d cook for him sometimes too, well not really, it was just that you accidentally poured too much of this or too much of that and being alone on the base you didn’t want it to go to waste, excuses on excuses that were always working. You always thought he was a bit too silly to understand what you were actually doing, and you were right. He just thought you were constantly friend zoning him.
- It was difficult once he actually accepted what you were giving to him and he wanted more. Ignoring him when he got too needy, when he was too close, when he made advances and all you could do was joke or excuse yourself to another room. Truth is you were scared too because what has started as a small act of kindness towards a lonely teammate, became a lot more, and you didn’t know how to handle it.
- One particular night brought out all the hidden emotions. Coming from a mission was always the best time of the year, week, month, it was just the best time, not only because you were alive, but because you could finally rest and turn your brain off. Well for Nikto it was a yes no situation, he was happy to be alive but coming at the base where he would be ‘confined’ again due to his loneliness, was not something he was dreadful about. This time was just too much, and after what felt like hours of contemplation he just went for it. A soft knock on your door late into the night awakened you, not that you were particularly deep into sleep, since the arrival time from the mission was not long ago, but it woke you up, and you opened, for some reason finding yourself in front of who you actually expected to come. Nikto stayed still, admiring you for a bit, just for you to grab his hand and pull him into the room. You didn’t care anymore, after almost loosing him this many times of the battlefield the only thing you wanted to do was hug him. And you did, he dreamed about this moment for months, and it came so unexpected yet so sweet. The night was spent between kisses and hugs, late talks between two people that were too afraid to fall asleep because of the fear of this all being a dream.
- Actually labeling your relationship with Nikto changes many dynamics. He gets bolder definitely, he’s more secure and shows off more. Being in a relationship with him is giving him access to your privacy also, and he makes sure he takes advantage of it. He shamelessly ravages your panty drawer, sneaks up on you in the common showers, after gym becomes a gig where you’re trying to run and shower and he’s after you saying how hot you look right now and how you should let him bring you to his room first. Sex is something utterly surprising for you, you would’ve not given him half the credits he actually deserved, because he does know how to please you, and he’s avid with it. He’ll be a dog for you, waiting and begging and pleading until you give it to him.
- Ride his face he LOVES it, just use him as your personal seat and he’s cumming in his pants no lie. He’s a sucker for your pleasure, also a big voyeur, he tried to fuck you many times in the main hall, or in the showers, he once succeeded in the kitchen, and oh boy you could not look into the eyes of some of your female colleagues for a week straight. Nikto is always eager to try something new, that’s because he finally has you, his woman, and prefers to do with you all the things he never got to experience. He always told himself that he’d prefer waiting to do certain things only with the woman of his dreams, and there you were finally, ready to let him fuck you up, or the other way around.
- When I call Nikto a dog is because I mean it. The utter loyalty this man has for you is something straight out some romance movie. You’ll start to notice how his eyes are always on you, no matter the surroundings, no matter the circumstances, and the utterly look of an enamored man he gives you always succeeds to make you weak in the knees. He is avid, lustful, borderline possessive about you, like a feral dog that’s protecting the only thing that he ever got to call ‘his’. And don’t get off the birth control, because he brings to the bedroom each and every ounce of possessiveness he shows outside.
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xthescarletbitch · 1 month
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random smut headcanons || bg3 ladies x reader
18+, minors do NOT interact
cw: afab!reader!receiving, implied strap-on use, f!reader terms of endearment
word count: 1600+ (400+ each)
author’s note: these are some of my current smut headcanons for lae’zel, minthara, shadowheart, and karlach that originally started as what i thought their fave positions were. i should probably share that i have yet to beat the game or explore all of their romances, so my opinions may change in the future as i do. enjoy! <3
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lae'zel
lae’zel likes to fuck you in any position that gives her power, but then again, she’d manage to get power in any position you find yourselves in. if i had to describe a position that she’d like, i’d go for one where you are sitting on her strap, but backward, your back flush against her chest, which is heaving. she juts her hips straight up into you with one hand on your breast and another strumming your clit, her mouth placing kisses and love bites on the skin she can access. the contact of your bodies together has grown to be so intimate for her that it’s a must anytime you have sex–no matter the duration. even during those short moments when you can get some relief, when she’d have you pressed against a nearby surface, completely under her control, she wants your chests grinding together as she brings you to your peak. her hands will happily explore your body with the gentle touch that she craves herself. when the strap isn’t in the picture, she’ll still bring you to orgasm with a combination of her mouth, fingers, and pussy. lae’zel would be a fan of rubbing her pussy over yours, relishing in the mess you both make. and on that note, she definitely touches herself whenever she eats you out.  lae’zel also likes to be bitten–shoulders, ears, everywhere, especially her lips. take her plump bottom lip in between your teeth, pull, and she will go crazy. she will push you down and take you right then and there (giving you your own marks, of course). she wants to bear the mark of the conquest, and her possessive side is pleased to show the world who belongs to whom. and on the softer side of things, lae’zel is a big fan of being adorned in kisses, with her favourite spot being her jawline. lae’zel may also have a hard time being patient when it comes to you. sometimes, you just smell so good to her that she has to take you right then and there. the party will stop for a short rest, and she will quickly pull you into an empty room she found, pushing you up against the wall as soon as she closes the door. she wastes no time stripping you of the pesky clothes that get in her way. she must taste all of you–everything else can wait.
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minthara
minthara is another fan of being in control–who would have thought? she usually favours the positions that have you writhing beneath her, begging for more. it boosts her ego to know that she’s the one–the only one–to give you the abundance of pleasure. she’ll have you on your hands and knees in front of her, her strap buried deep inside of you, and your face buried in the pillows below. your hands would be tied behind your back, firmly in her grasp, as she pounds into you. maybe she’ll push your face a little more into the pillow just for fun. she can also get a bit sadistic at times, sometimes denying you an orgasm, ordering you to hold it until she gives you permission. she always gives in, though, especially when you’re taking her so well. minthara will never outright admit it, but she loves the gentler moments just as much as the rough ones. for instance, she likes to have you on your side to where she can take you from behind, her body pressed against your own, and her hands caressing your skin. it’s a bonus when a mirror is nearby, specifically in a position that puts you both on full display. she thinks the act of sex is beautiful and wants to see everything, including your pleasure-stricken face. it is in these moments that soft minthara shines. she’ll allow herself to be a bit vulnerable with you but will still find it hard to express it through words… so she will show her love for you through her actions–more specifically, through her touch. her touches feel heated against your skin, showcasing her passion for you, and she does it in such a loving way that she doesn’t even need words to supplement them. of course, that doesn’t mean that she won’t use sweet words with you, because she will, such as reminding you of the obvious: you are brave, you are strong, you are exquisite; it just means that she is better at showing her admiration for you through the use of her own body.  minthara is also insanely possessive. she’ll mark you just as lae’zel would, but she’ll also bring it into the sheets, reminding you whose pussy it is as she fucks it. in those moments when she’s feeling particularly in the mood, she’ll get a bit rougher and make you repeat, out loud, who you belong to. she wants the neighbours to hear it. 
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shadowheart
shadowheart just loves to be deep inside of you, holding power or not. she’ll happily take you in various positions, whether you’re on top or bottom. it is worth noting that she can get a little greedy, though, but never too rough. when the power is in her favour, she just wants more and more. she becomes so consumed by the moment–the way your hips snap together, the way your mouth falls open to let moans escape, the way you take her so well–it’s all so intoxicating. she wants to feel it all... so maybe she’ll cast a little spell to where she can. it makes your love life so much more interesting. each time she enters you, each time she bottoms out in you, each time she hits your g-spot, each time is enough to drive her crazy (and you will hear her moans). she’ll maintain such an intimate tempo the entire time, too. she is in no rush to bring you to orgasm and wants to savour every moment. she may go slow, but fuck, she’ll make you both feel so good. shadowheart is in love with every part of you and wants to see it all during sex. she gets so mesmerised and yearns to love on it all. whenever you’re riding her, she loves to watch and admire your breasts as they bounce. (as i have seen in many headcanons, and agree with,) shadowheart is also a fan of your ass, which she’ll grab whenever she has a chance to. for fun, she’ll take you from the back just to see it bounce, too. i also think she’d slap it to see a bit more jiggle, being fascinated by the red handprints she leaves in its place.  shadowheart is a fan of other things during sex, like playing with and pinching your nipples. while she isn’t very rough with you, she’s not opposed to a little pain with your pleasure. she would gladly receive the same treatment (being gentle all the time is no fun to her). she also loves (LOVES) to have her fingers on you, in you, all of it. she’ll usually bring you to orgasm from her fingers alone. feeling you clench around her fingers gets her wet herself, which honestly makes her a fan of getting each other off at the same time. there is something divine to her about having each other’s fingers buried deep inside the other, moaning into each other’s mouths as you press on.  shadowheart also loves to call and be called a good girl. i don’t make the rules.
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karlach
karlach loves anything where she can pull you close and love on you properly, so slow and sensual love-making sessions with her are a must. she deems you a goddess and believes you must be treated as such. when she has you in a position like missionary, she likes to use her hands to roam across your body and caress it gently, often leaving her kisses in their place. gods, you are just so intoxicating to her–she’ll react similarly to shadowheart in this sense. she’d do anything to be able to feel herself be inside of you–that might just drive her crazy. if that were to happen, i don’t think she’d keep up with being very gentle. i think those years of pent-up passion would just explode and lead her to grip your hips like a mad woman, pulling you roughly toward hers until she couldn’t get any deeper.  karlach gets so giddy during foreplay. she can hardly contain herself sometimes. she has to remind herself to go a little slower rather than just rip your clothes off of you (which she would totally do). she gets breathless during makeout seshes because she never wants to depart her lips from yours, yet she will still try to fiddle with your clothes, eager to admire what lies beneath. unless, of course, you were okay with her giddiness… in which case she will show you just how needy she is for you. your clothes would be on the floor, and your bodies meshed together in less than thirty seconds (she has timed it before). whatever the occasion, she will make it a moment you will never forget. she is all about giving you what you want… many, many times. many!! karlach does have a soft spot for you riding her, though. she’ll be patient with you unless you want some more, in which case she will happily oblige–she’ll have you flat on your back in less than ten seconds, ready to give you all the attention you crave. just think of the way she lays on her back in camp (you cannot tell me that she does not want to be ridden until she sees stars). she is also a fan of trying different positions, such as fucking you while standing, her arms holding you up in the air as she pulls you down on her cock. she will take any excuse to do it, too. it gives her a good workout. karlach is also such a sweetheart with her words during sex. she’ll tell you how good you’re being for her and how she will adore you as long as you let her. 
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216 notes · View notes
vanfleeter · 1 month
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Coffee Cup Apologies
Characters: Jake x Fem!reader Warnings: 18+. Angst. Anger. Language. Heated argument. Yelling. Alcohol consumption. Jealousy. Embarrassment. Tears. Apologies. Smut. Allusions to sex. Fluff. Kissing. Happiness. Author's Note: I probably missed some grammar mistakes, my apologies. Also if I missed something on the warnings list, please let me know so I can add it!
Valentines Masterlist
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You hadn’t seen or spoken to Jake for a few weeks since the horrible goodbye a few weeks ago before the band departed for Europe. What was supposed to be a happy goodbye full of hugs ended with a sour argument over failed confessions. He tried to confess to you his feelings but instead jealousy overpowered when he saw you with another guy. A guy who you kept claiming was just a friend but he refused to believe you. So instead of an intimate, private moment that he hoped to have with you, it turned into a very public conversation.
“Where’s Y/N at?” Jake asks as he pours himself a drink. “I was really hoping to see her before we left.”
“I told you she’s coming,” Josh says as he pops the cork on another bottle of champagne. “She’s running late though. Got out of work later than she planned, but I promise you she’s coming.”
“When she does, can you let me know? I really want to talk to her.”
“Are you finally going to tell her?”
Jake nods his head, his cheeks flushing red and his chest running warm. “I know now wouldn’t be a great time, considering we’re leaving tomorrow for a month-long tour in Europe but I know it can’t wait.”
Josh smiles and lays his hand on Jake’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you for finally doing it. You’ve been pining after her for nearly a year and if I’m being honest, it’s painful to watch.”
“Shut the fuck up..” Jake says as he playfully shoves Josh to the side. He chuckles and shakes his head. “There have been multiple instances where I’ve wanted to tell her but I couldn’t.. I chickened out every time.”
“Well tonight is not the night,” Josh says. “I believe you’ll be just fine. This isn’t like being on stage in front of thousands of people.. This is just Y/N.”
Thirty minutes drag by and Jake has downed four glasses of champagne. Normally this wouldn’t be affecting him but tonight he’s feeling it all. The nerves and the alcohol mixing in his bloodstream make him a little tipsy.
Josh appears again in the kitchen. “Y/N just got here.”
“Perfect..” Jake responds as he grabs another empty glass and fills it with champagne.
“But wait, Jake, you gotta know something before you go out-”
“Josh, please. I’ve been swimming in alcohol and my nervous system all night.” He says as he steps around Josh. “If I don’t do this now, I don’t think I ever will.”
“Yeah but Jake, she didn’t–” But Jake is already slipping out of the kitchen. “--come alone..” Josh sighs and finishes off his drink.
Maneuvering through the milling people in the hallway, he spots Y/N talking with Sam. But she isn’t alone. He stops midway through the hall, his shoulders dropping as he lowers the two drinks to his sides. She’s introducing a guy to Sam. He’s not close enough so he can’t hear but his eyesight works.
The mystery man she brought has his hand resting on her hip as he shakes Sam’s hand. Sam’s smile looks forced, almost as if he feels awkward.
Not as awkward as Jake though.
Already feeling stupid, Jake retreats back through the crowd and into the kitchen. He sets the glasses on the counter and leans against the granite top on the palms of his hands.
Did he wait too long?
Maybe he should’ve just done it sooner. Even if he did make a fool of himself.
He sure feels like one now.
Reaching across the counter, he swipes the bottle of whiskey and takes a long drink from it. His body tenses with the bottle still pressed to his lips when he hears her voice.
“Look I know I’m late, but don’t start the real party without me.”
He pulls the bottle away from his lips, unable to turn around to face her. She steps to the side to stand next to him and pulls the bottle from his hand.
“I’ve been looking for you.” She says as she takes a drink herself.
“Mmm, well you found me.” He takes the bottle back and takes another drink. “I see you brought someone with you.”
“Yeah! Mark!”
“Mark.. Yeah I know who he is..” He seethes. “Why’d you bring him?”
Her eyebrows pull together in confusion. “Umm.. Josh said to bring friends along and Mark and I were working late on a project so I invited him to come with me.. Are you okay with that?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Jake.. He’s just a friend.”
“Mmhmm, right.. Because friends put their hands on your hips..”
“Jake, what’s gotten into you?”
“Lots and lots of alcohol baby..” He says before taking another drink of the whiskey. “Better get back to your man, wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.”
“He is not my man, Jacob. I told you that he’s just a friend.”
“And like I said, friends don’t hold your hips like that.”
“You do.” She retorts as she crosses her arms over her chest.
“Yeah well I’m different,” He says, jabbing his index finger into his chest.
“Oh so, he can’t touch me like that but you can? What gives you that right?”
“Because I’m in love with you!” He shouts, not knowing the music lulled in between songs.
He looks around, noticing that the whole fucking house just heard him confess his feelings for her. Josh steps out from the sea of people, his eyes glancing back and forth between him and Y/N.
“Oh no..” He mutters.
Jake sets the whiskey bottle on the counter top, his cheeks fully flushed. The heat of the embarrassment that he currently feels wells up in his eyes.
“Jake.. I..” She starts to say.
He steps away from the counter and straightens himself out. “I should go..” He starts to make his way through the crowd of people once more and throws on his shades.
“Jake, wait!” He hears calling behind him. She grabs hold of his arm. “Can we go somewhere in private to talk about this?”
“No..”
“Jake..”
“I said no..” He rips his arm out from her grip. “Just go back to Mark.. I’m sure his daddy’s money will be enough for you..”
“Jacob.. Stop it. You’re being rude.”
“Rude? Me?” He scoffs. “Says the woman who brought another man to my party!”
“For clarification, this party is for the band, not just you.”
“Well,” Jake scoffs again. “For clarification, the band is mine. Therefore this party is mine too! And he,” He jabs a finger in Mark’s direction. “can leave..”
“Jacob, knock it off.”
“No, I don’t fucking want him here! I want him out of my house!”
“Fine, but he leaves, so do I!”
“Fine with me,” Jake says as he swings his arms in the air. “Let him take you home so he can fuck you.”
Now it’s her turn to feel embarrassed. He sees the tears fill her eyes as she glances around at all the eyes still watching them as if this were a drama show.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve that,” She says in a low voice. “But you, Jacob, have stooped so fucking low.” She pushes back him and out the open front door with Mark hot on her heels.
Jake’s eyes land on Josh who only stares at him in disbelief. Turning in his heels, he storms upstairs and locks himself in his office.
You tried calling him before their plane left Nashville, bound for their layover in New York before the twelve or so hours flights to Paris. Anything to try to fix this thing–whatever it was that transpired the night before, but instead of answering your call, he ignored it and put his phone on airplane mode before shoving it into his bag.
Over the course of the next three weeks, you tried texting him at the hours you assumed he’d be awake, yet received no answer. Even your texts went unanswered.
You knew he was actively on his phone, seeing him posting random videos on his stories of Parisian architecture. Part of you was angry that he’d post videos, something he rarely does, instead of texting you back at the very least.
You wanted to work this out with him, regardless of what part of the world he was currently in.
Jake
He feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out of his pocket, he sees a text from Y/N. The fifth one this week. Once she’s texted him, it’s almost like clockwork and he knows exactly when she’ll pop up again.
Opening the text thread, he sees all of the messages she’s sent that he’s never responded to, including today’s text.
“Is that her again?” Josh whispers beside him as they stand in front of a painting. Jake nods his head and puts his phone away. “Why don’t you at least talk to her?”
“No..”
“And why not? Afraid your ego might get bruised?”
Jake rolls his eyes and pulls his sunglasses from where they hang on his shirt and he places them over his eyes. “I’m going outside..”
Stepping out into the fresh air, he looks around the area. He wants to talk to her but at the same time, he doesn’t. He knows saying that he’s sorry won’t be enough.
Walking around the little block, not straying too far from the others, he glances up at the buildings around him. He knows she’d love it here. So he pulls out his phone and takes a video of the building in front of him. He has no clue what it is but he finds the styling of it incredible and he knows she will too.
Posting it to his story with a song attached to it, one he knows she’ll recognize, he closes his phone and goes back to rejoin the others.
It wasn’t until a couple days after the band arrived back home in Nashville that he finally got off his high horse.
You were tucked inside a booth at your favorite coffee shop one weekday morning, sipping on the remaining bit of your coffee. The bells chimed indicating a new person’s arrival but you paid no mind to it while you flipped a page in your book.
A presence loomed over you a few minutes later. A single coffee cup is placed in front of you. You look at it and find the words ‘I’m sorry’ written on the side of it. Your heart sinks. Your eyes are unmoving, not willing to look up at the person who’s standing there.
Another cup is placed down in front of you. ‘I was a jerk’.
At least he admits it.
You force yourself to look up. Jake stands there, a solemn look on his face. For once he isn’t wearing his sunglasses indoors, so you can see how his eyes really look. Sorrowful and gloomy.
Putting your book down, you motion for him to sit down. He slides into the booth across from you with a third cup of coffee. You point to it, expecting him to have something written on it. He shakes his head as he gives you a half smile. He pulls the cup closer to him, keeping his fingers intertwined tightly around it.
“I really am sorry..” He finally speaks. “I should’ve controlled myself better than I did.. I embarrassed you…and myself..” He swallows before continuing. “I also understand after that whole incident that you don’t want to continue being friends, especially after how I treated you the last few weeks. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to be friends with myself either if I were in your shoes, so–”
“Jake,” You finally speak up, and cut him off. “I never want to stop being friends with you.” You say as you straighten up.
Jake solemnly shakes his head, his eyes casting down to the cup still being clutched within his hands. “I’m sorry.. I know I should’ve.. I just guess all of the jealousy clouded my own judgment that all I cared about was how I felt.”
“Jake.. Can we… Can we start over?” You say, casting your eyes down to the table top.
He reaches a hand over and places it on yours, giving it a light squeeze. “Of course we can..”
You lift your eyes and he gives you a soft smile. You return the smile and he chuckles.
“So what’s on that cup?” You ask, changing the subject back to the cup that he still clutches in his other hand.
“Oh uh..” He clears his throat. “It’s n-nothing..” He stammers as he pulls the cup closer to his chest.
You arch an eyebrow. You wave your hand in his direction for him to hand over the cup and he vigorously shakes his head.
“Jake..”
“Y/N..”
“What’d you write?”
“I said nothing..”
“Jacob..”
“Y/N..”
“Come on, Jake..” You laugh. “Is it bad?”
He shakes his head. “No..”
“Then let me see it. Please?” He chews on the inside of his cheek. Still he shakes his head and draws the cup closer to his chest. “Don’t make me guess.”
“Hmm, maybe I want you too.”
“Jacob..”
“Tell you what? We play a little game.” He says as he reaches for a napkin and the pen you were using to annotate inside your book. He draws out the hangman set up on the napkin with a certain number of dashes.
_ _ _   _   _ _ _ _   _ _ _   _ _   _   _ _ _ _?
You look up at him in confusion. “What?”
He arches an eyebrow and smirks. “Start guessing..”
“Is there an A?”
He puts on a thinking face before nodding his head and scribbling down the letters in the correct spots.
_a_   _   _a_ _   _ _ _   _ _   a   _a_ _?
“Oh this is going to take a while..” You sigh.
He chuckles and leans on the table. “Just keep guessing.”
A few more minutes pass and so far you’ve gotten a few words.
Can I  _a_ _   _ o _   on a  _ a_ _?
“Can I blank blank on a blank…” You mutter. “Can I fuck you on a table?”
Jake’s eyes grow wide and he smacks his palm to his face. “That is clearly an A,” He laughs. “Not a U. Also, ‘table’ has five words, not four.”
You giggle. “So clearly you’re asking me if you can do something..”
“Gee, we’re getting somewhere.”
“Is that fourth word supposed to be you?”
Jake nods his head and fills it in. “Keep going.”
You look over the sentence again and try to fill in the rest of the blanks.
Can I  _a_ _  you on a  _a_ _?
Then it pieces together in your head and you look up at him. “Can I see that?” You ask, reaching out for the pen. He hands it over and you write in the remaining letters.
Can I take you on a date?
You raise an eyebrow at him and he nods his head. “Mmm..” You hum as you jot three small dashes of your own and slide it back to him with the pen.
_ _ _ 
He smiles and fills in the blanks.
Yes
He looks at you for approval and you nod your head. He chuckles and reaches for the cup. Turning it around, he faces his writing to you. Your jaw falls open as you see three words written on the sleeve.
‘I love you’
Such a coy little man.
“You are so slick.” You say giggling.
“Well, I didn’t want to make it easy on you.” He says.
You lean across the table, just inches from his face. “I love you too.”
“Really?” He questions as his eyes flicker from your eyes down to your lips. “You do?”
You nod your head. “I do.”
You lean in a little further and brush your lips against his. “Someday though, you can fuck me on a table.” You whisper quietly so only he can hear you. You gently kiss him before sliding back down into the booth. His cheeks are flustered and he is fidgeting with the pen.
“Yeah.. Someday.”
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bookshelf-dust · 5 months
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community service
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ghostface!billy hargrove x fem!reader
word count: 3,714
warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, being drunk, drunk driving, domestic abuse (super small mention), rather violent and descriptive murder, literally this is just murder, slight suggestive ideas
a/n: hi!! look at me! i remembered how to write! anyway. this fic has been in the drafts for months, but here it is. one of the kills is inspired by a kill from scream 2, and another is from *i think* the first season of chucky. anyway. it’s not gonna be for everyone! it’s dark and fucked up and kinda questionable. but it’s also for my masked men lovers. i see you. i am you. i hope you enjoy!! i love you!! <333
other ghostface! au’s: steddie & eddie
————
You check your watch for what seems like the millionth time, only for a few minutes to have passed since the last time you looked. Billy is late again, but at least now you know why. 
You hadn’t been stupid enough to think he was having an affair, not when you know so much better than that. When you know he’d do anything for you. 
The longer you sit here, the more unfocused your eyes get, and you start to think about everything you’ve realized over the past week. Part of you has known for longer. You just didn’t want to overanalyze this, not like you do everything else.��
You hoped he’d come to you. But clearly he wants to keep this to himself. 
He’d been doing well, too, up until you found the smear of blood inside the bathroom cabinet. He’d pranced around the room half-naked that night after his shower, so you knew he wasn’t the one who’d been injured.
Last week you decided to clean out the closet on your day off. You remembered a pair of shoes that you hadn’t seen in forever, and began looking through all the boxes buried in the corners, under piles of clothes discarded in a rush to get ready. 
You’d pulled the lid off a surprisingly light box, only to find a mask. One you’d seen in costume stores, at Halloween parties. On the news. 
And you just knew. 
There hadn’t ever been an instance where he’d worn it. None of his simple Halloween costumes ever required a mask. He hadn’t ever worn it for you, even if you’d like that much more than you’re sure is normal. 
What’s more concerning is that this realization–it didn’t scare you. You aren’t scared now, sitting in the living room, waiting for him to come home, knowing exactly what he’s been up to. He probably thinks you’re in bed by now, anticipating him joining you. 
Instead, you sit curled in a chair, socked feet tucked up under you. Your body is tired, you can feel as much, but your mind won’t rest until you’ve taken care of this. 
It’s then, when you’re starting to get sick of waiting, that you hear the sound of heavy footsteps, thick-soled boots bounding up the front stairs. Your spine straightens, eyes glued to the way the lock turns with a twist of his key, his shadow as it spills across the floor when he walks inside. 
Billy isn’t surprised to see the living room glowing in a yellow light. You usually leave it on for him anyway. What he’s not expecting is to see you sitting in your chair, chin resting on your hand, as you watch him remove his jacket. 
“What are you doing up so late, baby?” 
You don’t move, just keep your eyes on him as he walks towards you. He’s wearing a black t-shirt, a very tight one, and it occurs to you that you haven’t seen his arms in a little while. They’re bigger. You’re sure of it. 
“It’s only eleven forty-five,” you say. 
He laughs, dropping gently to his knees in front of you, hands going to rest on your own. He presses a kiss to the top of your bare thigh. 
“You’re usually in bed by now.”
He kisses your knee, lips warm against your skin except for where the cold metal of his new piercing touches you. It’s healed, but still strange to see him with it after all this time.
“Wanted to see you.”
Billy is in love with you. And that means he knows you like the back of his hand. So this, the way you’ve sat out here for him, that sad but almost frustrated look in your eye, it tells him everything he needs to know.
It tells him that you know. 
You’re a very intelligent woman. You’re his smart girl, and he knew you’d figure it out sooner or later. He’d only kept it from you because he knew you’d worry. Knew you’d overthink it and make yourself crazy. He just wanted you to have some peace of mind. But clearly that hasn’t worked out so well.
“And ask you something,” you continue, reaching down to twist one of his curls around your finger.
There it is. 
“Shoot.” Billy wraps his hands around the backs of your knees, fingertips still chilly from the cool night air. His grip is soft, but still possessive. 
You rub your nose, look up at the ceiling and take a deep breath.
“When were you gonna let me in on your little secret?”
You can feel his breath on your bare legs when he exhales. He tilts his head and presses his cheek gently against your knee. 
“Look at me,” he says, voice firm. You oblige. 
“It feels kind of shitty that you kept it from me. That I only found out because I decided to be productive for once and do a little cleaning. We’re not supposed to keep secrets from each other, Billy. That’s what makes this work.”
When you’ve finished, he straightens his back and pushes off the floor. He’s looming over you now. It doesn’t intimidate you, even if it should. If other people might be scared of him. 
That’s what he’s stuck on. You’re not scared. You’re not angry about what he’s doing. You’re concerned about fucking communication. 
He leans down and sets his hands against the armrests of your chair. You have no choice but to look him in the eye. 
“You’re my girl. It’s a crazy world out there.” He lifts one hand and runs his thumb underneath your eye before removing it again. “I gotta keep you safe.”
You drop your head back against the chair. “Jesus christ, Billy. This goes both ways. I want to take care of you just like you do for me. I don’t think it’s fair that you kept this to yourself when I could’ve helped you deal with it, I don’t know.”
He doesn’t scoff. He doesn’t even quirk a brow. He’s taking you seriously, just like always.
“What, you wanna clean me up or somethin’?”
You’re quiet. He rubs the tip of his nose against your cheek. 
“You know the answer to that.”
Billy takes your chin in his hand. “I apologize for not telling you earlier. I didn’t want to worry you. It takes awhile to get back from Hawkins, that’s why I’ve been home so late. Work was just an excuse.”
“Hawkins?”
He kisses you, mouth slotting against your own. The way he sucks on your bottom lip leaves you feeling dazed, though you know that’s exactly why he does it. Just to see the look in your eye. He should’ve known you’d take this well.
“Yeah. ‘Lotta shit left behind back there. Best to do some community service while I can, don’t you think?”
There’s a bruise on his bicep, dark in the dim lighting of your living room. 
“Yeah, Billy. I think so.”
————
The phone hooked to the wall in Jason’s office starts to ring. He rolls his eyes. Anyone important enough would know what time of day it is, and that means he’s busy. 
Jason stands still at the altar, flipping through the last few pages of notes he made for his next service. He checks his watch, noting that he should start confessionals soon. His shoulders rise and fall, steady breaths filling his lungs. 
The phone keeps ringing, and it’s starting to make him angry. He stops what he’s doing and stomps out in the hall, stepping just far enough inside the small room to answer the phone.
“What?”
The line is silent, but someone is on the other side, and he knows it. 
“Hello? What do you want?”
He hears someone inhale. “Why don’t you lose the attitude, Carver? Still haven’t gotten that stick outta your ass?”
Jason puts the phone in his other hand. 
“Excuse me? Who is this?”
“No need to worry about that, Pastor Carver. Now, would you like to play a game, Jason?”
The blonde rubs a hand over his forehead. What is he, five?
“No. I have a job to do. Grow up.” He hangs up the phone, slamming it back in its place before walking back out. 
Jason is older now. Went to community college, pursued ministry. He always knew that’s where he would end up. It’s what he deserves. It gives him great power, preaching. 
Not that a damn word that comes out of his mouth isn’t bullshit. 
But this is what he is good at. He will not be teased. He is important, and he knows it. 
He collects his notes from where he’d set them on the altar, picks up his personalized Bible, slips the cap back onto his pen. 
The confessional booth is set up in the corner, against the wall with the biggest window. He thinks it’s the most beautiful spot in the church, what with the way the stain glass plays across the floor. 
He enters the booth, thumb entwining in the chain around his neck. When Jason started his work, he’d taken part in confessionals much more often. Now that he’s so committed, he has to schedule a specific time period where people can come in. 
And he knows they will. They always do. People praise Pastor Carver for being so wise, for guiding them in the right direction, into the right hands.
But he doesn’t take kindly to criticism. He knows what he’s doing. He was made for this. Now he can protect people like him from the people he went to high school with. Now he has real power.
There’s some light shuffling coming from the other side of the booth. Did someone come in? Maybe he didn’t hear them over that stupid phone call. He shouldn’t have answered. 
“Hello? Is someone there?”
He’s met with silence. He listens, but there’s nothing. He knows he heard something. He’s still young, in perfect health. He doesn’t make mistakes like that.
“We can begin whenever you’re ready,” he says, wondering if maybe whoever is in the other booth might be shy. If maybe they’re a new member of the church congress.
Still he gets no response. He doesn’t like being ignored. What is with people today? 
Jason presses the side of his face against the wood, trying to hear through the small gaps. They’re not wide enough to see through clearly, but he gets a glance at something moving. He knew it. He hears the shuffle again, temper rising.
“Listen, If you’re not gonna—”
He doesn’t finish the sentence. A knife, with a freshly sharpened blade, slices through that cheap wood, settling in his cheek. He can’t speak. The metal scrapes against his teeth. If he were to try, he’d certainly lose his tongue. 
Blood fills his mouth, and his ears start to ring. He can’t breathe, can’t hear. When the knife is yanked back, pulled maliciously from his face, he’s so completely shocked that he falls, brain malfunctioning. Shutting down, surely. 
Quick and easy was best for someone like Jason Carver. Such a big fuckin’ mouth. Never using it for any good, only to push his corrupt agenda on others—like he’s some god. 
He should’ve played the damn game. Maybe Billy ought to forego the phone calls and get eight to it. Seems that being blunt is the only way to get through to these assholes. 
Wiping his knife off against his robe, Billy steps out of the booth and walks around to Jason’s side. The man sits on the floor, slumped against the seat. His eyes are open, but he’s lost too much blood to be able to form a retort. 
Billy leans down, grabbing at the chain around Jason’s neck. The blonde tries to grab for this mysterious figure's arm, tries to do anything, but it doesn’t matter. 
The chain breaks easily, gold cross standing out against his gloved hand. He tucks it into his pocket. Such a waste of space, this guy. So fucking pretentious. 
Billy has never been happier to take out the trash. 
————
When Billy gets home, he’s pissed. Mainly because he’s dirty. Carver was a bleeder, got that shit everywhere. It’s on the hem of his robe, caked onto his shoe where he had to step up and get the necklace off. 
But more so, he’s pissed that he has to be the one to do this. That people are so blind to the shit storm around them. 
He kicks the back door shut behind him. 
“Billy?” Your voice calls out to him. 
“Headin’ to the bathroom, sweet thing.” He hears you hop off the bed and pad down the hall. 
You’re such a fuckin’ sweetheart. He can’t believe it. 
You walk into the bathroom the moment he throws the mask down on the toilet seat, blood staining the white material. You watch him put his shoes and the robe in the tub. 
He spins around, a smile spreading across his face. “Hey, baby. How’s my girl?”
You meet him halfway for a kiss. “I’m okay. Are you?”
“Better now that I’m with you. Listen, can you do me a favor, sugar?”
You nod. 
“In the back of the closet, you know where, there’s a little jewelry box. Can you bring it in here?”
“Of course.”
He winks at you, tying his curls up on the top of his head. “Be quick.”
When you return, he opens the box, and your heart drops at the sheer amount of jewelry inside. But the longer you look, the more you realize what this is.
He’s kept something from everyone. There are rings. Chains. Keyrings. Holy shit. There’s a pair of earrings that look like some Karen Wheeler used to wear. Something very expensive looking, like only a Harrington would have. There’s a lighter, too. With the last name Byers engraved on it. 
You stop gawking when Billy tosses the cross necklace inside. He’s almost done. And when he is, you’ll both get out of here. He’s gonna give you such a good life. You just don’t know his plans yet. 
“It’s so much safer without them here, you know that, baby?”
Billy looks you in the eye. You push a curl back behind his ear. 
“I know. You do such a good job, Billy.”
————
Tommy Hagan has been a piece of shit since elementary school, and he’s destined to be one for the rest of his life. 
He works at a car dealership, still in Hawkins, still drinking and pretending like he’s seventeen. He peaked in high school, and everyone knows it. Shit, he knows it, and that’s why he’s still clinging to this lifestyle, even when no one else has. 
Fucking Steve Harrington even got his ass out of Hawkins, and that’s saying something. Tommy thought Steve would be there for the rest of his life, raising that stupid family he blabbed about, sending the kids to the same schools, but no.
Even Carol left. The woman he should have married. The chick he treated like shit after they graduated, all because he wasn’t ready to grow up–and she was. 
He’s still not ready. Not as he sits in his living room, alone because his wife went to stay with her sister. He’s been drinking out of his ass lately, and the other night, he put his hands on her. Tommy isn’t even sure he cares, if he’s honest with himself. 
He’s an insecure asshole. He was in high school, and Billy saw the way he treated you because you were quiet. Saw the way he spoke to Carol when they were alone, the way he’d corner other girls at football games or parties, even when Carol was looking for him. 
It doesn’t matter who he married. Not really. Tommy Hagan was destined to become a deadbeat wife-beater, and he’d never have had the initiative to change that. 
He finishes the beer he’s been nursing and pushes off the couch, heading for the kitchen to find another.
He tosses the bottle into the garbage can rather than the recycling, and it seems to hit hard enough that it shatters inside the trash bag. He shrugs it off. It’s not like he ever takes it out anyway. 
Tommy pulls the refrigerator door open, metal handle cool under his fingertips. That was his last beer.
“Y’gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”
He slams the door closed, the rattling of jars and bottles inside echoing throughout the quiet room. He presses his forehead against the wall, thinking. Shit, if he can’t drink, he might as well eat something.
There’s a TV dinner in the freezer. He pulls it out, shoving it in the microwave as quickly as possible.
Something else that hasn’t changed: how fucking impatient Tommy is. He can’t even handle waiting the two minutes required for his food.
He opens drawers, trying to find the silverware before realizing it’s all dirty. He can’t believe this shit. 
He yanks open the dishwasher and pulls out the bottom rack. The microwave starts to beep though, and Tommy backs off for a moment to retrieve his dinner. 
With how loud the beeping was, he didn’t hear anyone approach. Didn’t hear the floorboards creak. Didn’t realize that there was someone lurking behind him.
He removes the TV dinner and wipes his hands down his face. “Fuckin’ hell.”
He bends down once more, reaching for a knife so that he’ll be able to cut up his tiny steak. 
He doesn’t expect to be shoved, not in the safety of his own home. And he’s certainly not quick enough or to be able to prevent it himself from stumbling, tripping, unable to catch himself. He yells out, but there’s no one else to hear it. 
He grabs for the counter, but it’s much too slippery with that fucking vinyl countertop. He’s got no chance. 
Tommy Hagan falls forward. When he realizes where he’s headed, what his body is falling over, he thinks for a moment that he should try and brace himself for the fall. But it’s no use. Nothing about his situation is providing him a way out. 
His body collides with the silverware basket, into every knife and fork standing there. Like they were waiting for him.
It’s happened so fast that he can’t even scream. All that comes out is a strangled moan. He’s bleeding and he can feel it. He can hear the footsteps behind him, and he tries to reach for the floor, tries to push up and twist to see who’s done this to him. His hand slips in the mess, but he doesn’t have to do much when someone is pulling his hair, using it as leverage to yank him up. The knives below him scrape and drag, his skin tugging in unnatural ways. 
Tommy coughs, blood filling his mouth. He can’t speak. He can’t do the one thing he’s good at: open that big mouth. 
The masked figure looming over him grabs his other hand, causing him to press further into the silverware. He screams, but it comes out garbled as they tug off his wedding ring. 
Tommy’s hair is released, and he sinks impossibly deeper, metal piercing everything. 
“Such a shame, Hagan.” The figure speaks. Tommy doesn’t recognize the voice. He wishes he could yell, ask what they want, why they’re doing this–but he can’t. 
“Never deserved that wife of yours. Never deserved anything you got. But this? Yeah, this is the surprise you needed.”
The last thing Tommy hears is his own front door slamming shut and locking. How did they get a key? He’ll never know. He’ll die here, and no one is coming for him. 
————
When Billy slips into bed with you that night, he coaxes your head onto his chest, wanting to feel you. Wanting to know that you’re really there. He leans down to kiss you, finding your eyes glued to the closet door. You know it’s in there. 
“What is it, baby?”
You blink, shaking your head. You sit up some, and slip your hand under the edge of his t-shirt, fingers running over the soft of his warm tummy. 
“Is this fulfilling for you? Is it something you think you’ll do forever?”
Billy allows himself to think for a moment, and while he does, he gently pulls you closer, leaning up to get that kiss he wanted. When he pulls away, he has an answer for you.
“It’s not something I want to do forever, no. I know we moved to the city and out of Hawkins, but I go back there because it doesn’t feel right to leave those motherfuckers there, roaming around and making it worse. There are good people there, and they don’t deserve to live in a place that’s drowning in shit. So yeah, it’s fulfilling in that I know I can make it a better place. I can protect the people who once protected me.”
And that’s true. Joyce is still there. He talks to her on the phone a few times a week. Shit, the woman is practically his surrogate mother. Max is still there, in college with her friends. Sure, she’ll transfer soon, but still. He can’t leave it like that. 
He would’ve taken care of Neil had he not done that himself. Stomped off one night, drunk, and never came home. He got in an accident. Billy was glad to skip that chore. 
“I’m almost done, sweetheart, I promise. Just wanted to leave behind something better. I won’t do this much longer. Just wanna keep you safe. It’s so scary out there, baby. I only want the best for you.”
You rest your head on his shoulder, watching his chest rise and fall. This should freak you out, shouldn’t it? It should alarm you? It doesn’t. He’s so good at this. He’s a natural. Doesn’t leave a trace. You do feel safer, admittedly.
“I understand. I just want you to be careful.”
His nails scratch lightly at your neck. “Hey, you don’t have to worry about that. I’ve got this. Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby. This hellhole is gonna be so much better when I’m done.”
“Yeah, Billy. It is. Then maybe we can get out of here for real.”
“Of course. Anything for my girl.”
————
please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33
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slaygentford · 1 month
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every matthew mcconaughey romcom, rated
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ive never really had a pet white man. ive had many pet white men characters, yes, but never a little pet white man actor who I wish to give treats and pats to like a purse dog. I never before really understood the phenomenon until my 5th or so rewatch of true detective in the year 2024, at which point something demonic was unlocked in my brain. why? how? a mystery for my therapist, when I had a therapist, but I don't anymore, so now it's a mystery for you. overcome with the insatiable urge to tape his picture to the front of my binder and write "hott" underneath it in sharpie I mentally detransitioned and, embracing my latent teenage girl (the girl I was, perhaps, in another world, one parallel to ours; a darker world, but of equal worth to our own sphere, damned as it may be) --began to watch every Matthew mcconaughey romcom ever made.
listed in my watch order, which was random.
how to lose a guy in 10 days: this is a near perfect 00s romcom, too much secondhand embarrassment to be a real mainstay for me, but it nonetheless hits every beat with aplomb. particularly tickled to see them playing bullshit the card game which was a family and friend group fave for me growing up. he and Kate Hudson have probably fucked, which added a lot to the chemistry. in one scene Kate Hudson described how cute he was rubbing his face into her tits and her friend says, do you want to date him or adopt him? at which point I saw into the void, which then saw back into me. instantly it became apparent to me that he will act circles around whoever he's paired with to the point that it actually becomes kind of comical how good of a performance he's giving in a movie that includes not one but two scenes of a dog pissing on a pool table. that being said bebe neuwirth CARRIED this film on her BEAUTIFUL lithe back. 1 instance of no shirt, unfortunately brief. 7/10. vape I hit at midpoint also a 7/10, coincidentally
NB: after watching this movie I had a dream that I was at the beach with him and Kate hudson and I hated her because she had stolen may man.
the wedding planner: when I watched this I got extremely caught up in two things 1 the fact that he went on a date with another woman while engaged and almost kissed her and 2 jlo playing an italian girl. this led me to think about what race is/was in 90s-00s, colorism, borders of the latinx body and codemeshing. something interesting about the wedding planner is that the leads are in every way the opposite of the character they are playing, with little effort to no effort to make up for that diff (Matthew not at all acting like a wholesome pediatrician and rarely seen with children/jlo not at all acting (like) or being an italian). as a result the fourth wall in this movie is made out of wobbling cellophane, an upsetting and uncanny experience. Matthew doing a tango meant a lot to me as a fan of rust's deranged impromptu norteñas tutorial in true detective. as he is a texan, I think he is essentially one of my people. 0 instances of no shirt. 2/10
failure to launch: at the first incident of animal slapstick (chipmunk related) I had the thought while the scene wore on and on, I feel like I'm on drugs. that's because I was on drugs, which I then remembered, but a joint doesnt deny the truth, only reveal it. there are many sports, and Matthew doing sports. I wouldn't be surprised if the original conception of this movie was more like lars and the real girl or silver linings playbook which then had to get repackaged as a rom com bc some parts of this kind of push at the seams of the haha funny tone which makes for a shockingly bad film but a very interesting way to think about process and what this writer's passion project would be. by the final animal slapstick incident (dolphin, second appearance) I really said what the fuck out loud, like actually out loud in my home. we started off strong with some shirtlessness and a calf shot during the sex scene, but the chipmunk to dolphin to bird to iguana to dolphin pipeline really took the wind out of my sails. 1/10
ghosts of girlfriends past: This is doubtless Matthew's worst performance--and yet what a triumph it is, purely because for any other actor, it would be the peak of a career. Matthew has an incredible naturalism. About 15 minutes into this movie, Matthew gets belligerently drunk at his brother's rehearsal dinner. Through half-lidded, glassy eyes, he delivers with thoughtless verve the exact sort of diatribe a man not only uncaring but also unaware of his cruelty can; and yet, in that passivity, he unearths pathos. I consider it an underpainting--a little window which peeks out of a bad script to a fully conceived person. Throughout its runtime, the film degenerates into a pantomime, even parody, of itself: but with just a series of slow blinks, Matthew conveys a complete psyche, an entire lifetime. I truly believe that he comes to roles even those he dislikes with an inescapable talent and sensitivity. If I could bring half of his effort and spark and originality to my own creative pursuits, that would make for a very good career indeed. His integrity as an artist really is why watching his worst films is so fun: in a game of limbo, Matthew can do the lowest backbend of all. Strong calves indeed. anyway, this movie is REALLY bad. 0/10
fool's gold:
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10/10
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toomuchracket · 5 months
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mads I keep imagining that d word girly would have an incident where she gets really defensive about Matty’s personal space/safety. maybe after he went into the crowd at the Hollywood bowl? but I actually think it might be when that reporter approached him in LA. I think she’d be like “you can you leave my boyfriend the fuck alone? He won’t be mean to you, but I will.” Or something else, pick your poison!
(i am dramatising these instances a bit)
actually yeah, i think that as much as you're professional and careful with what you publicly do or say and pretty good at staying calm in stressful situations, there's only so much you can take re. matty's safety/wellbeing/general happiness being threatened right before your eyes. your reaction to the hollywood bowl incident was maybe slightly amplified given the, um, changes to your body that you found out about a few days later, but it was justified - thinking that you (and denise, sitting next to you) got really worried when matty went over the other side of the barrier, and you got progressively angrier when they all started shoving phones at him and trying to grab him, to the point denise actually had to hug you just to stop you storming down there yourself and trying to intervene. literally, she had to calmly whisper "he's fine, he'll be fine, mark's there to keep him safe", while you were seething about "fucking animals they don't give a fuck about him it's fucking ridiculous imagine having such little respect for another person" (and this was BEFORE you started crying about peanut. quite the evening for you!). do you know what you were going to actually do once you got there? no, but probably nothing good.
in some ways, the earlier thing with the reporter in LA was probably worse to witness, because you saw matty up close and personal realise in real-time that he was being pestered by a journalist; you're both used to being filmed by randoms when they meet you (well, as used to it as you can ever be), and so you've gotten quite good at quickly determining if people seem a bit off, and thus i think it was you who clocked the girl was a reporter because she was holding her phone in a really weird way to try and discreetly get the shot (as opposed to fans generally being obvious about the fact they're filming). you whispered to matty to tell him, before you were audibly like "so sorry but we can't talk right now, we're running late for a meeting", but she still persisted in asking questions - matty didn't want to be impolite, you knew that (plus he kinda squeezed your hand anxiously like "help"), so you tried again to shut her down like "no seriously we literally can't talk right now" to no avail. she's talking over you, stepping closer as you move back, generally being a dick, and you think fuck it and calmly say, like you said, "look. my boyfriend won't be rude and tell you to leave him alone, and i've tried to do it politely with no success. so i'm going to be a bitch about it, actually - can you just fuck off? thanks". it works, but as soon as you say it you're internally trying to figure out damage control on yourself. but it's not too bad, because cctv and nearby fans caught the whole thing on tape and showed she was actually being a pest. and matty's reaction to you saying that was good; he kissed your hand as you walked off together like "that was so fucking cool, baby, i can't believe you got all aggressively protective over me like that. it was sexy", and you got all blushy but were still fired up like "nobody messes with my man", and matty was almost swooning like "so fucking true. i love you!" lol <3
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rosemariad · 1 month
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Supernatural season 14
Oh boy!
So Alt-Michael has taken over Dean’s body and absconded to parts unknown - what an unprecedented plot twist who could’ve possibly seen this coming, certainly not dean, the one guy who doesn’t trust angels and has a history of being short-sighted and making shitty deals. Since this is season 14, and there’s only 1 season after this, I presume Dean will never grow out of these bad qualities, so…moving on.
Check you out Sam, leading your new band of hunters, like uh Hunters Incorporated. I’m glad Sam gets to spend more time with his mom, but he won’t let her take care of him 😭
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Was it me or did that Michael & Anael scene feel like Jensen X Danneel role play 🤣 - at least when he caressed her face. Like really bro? I don’t think the scene would’ve played out that way if the actors weren’t actual husband and wife 🤣
Shoutout to Supernatural for keeping Mark Pellegrino employed lol 😂 cuz I don’t see Why the fuck he’s still around of the devil is supposedly dead - wasn’t Mark P. also doing 13 reasons why around this time also?? Anywho, Nick, luci’s longtime vessel isn’t dead???? What does Nick have that jimmy novak didn’t, plot convenience? That must be it.
Cas honey, why are you letting these demons beat you up? Cuz Dean is gone on your watch, cuz im sorry there’s no way im believing Cas was weaker than all them demons. That’s also plot convenience idgaf!
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After yet another demon-hunter showdown, Mary and Bobby are spotted sharing a beer and flirting…I wish John were around to see this AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh jack, feeling worthless for having no power. He should’ve been like Castiel what’s it like being worthless since that was Castiel’s arc for a minute too, which again fuck Supernatural for. Cas had like 1 badass moment last season when he fried Donatello’s brains but that’s it. Meanwhile nick totally called Cas out, bringing up Jimmy again and driving that guilt straight into Castiel.
Alt-Michael is recruiting?? Brief Dean cameo in 14x02, you give him like 2 lines, wow. Even sam got more than that in swan song…but he suddenly comes back at the end of the episode???? Nah bullshit!
Also lol karma for Dean in 14x02 when Jack is like, dean doesn’t matter, Michael has to be stopped. Ahahahahahahaha. He was the so called pragmatist when it came to jack, now it’s jack’s turn. Castiel’s face when jack said it tho…
Dean got stabbed by AU Kaia? What?? Oh look yet another instance of Dean running away from his problems and pain and being a dick to Kaia (though she's technically a different person) again! Good for you tho AU Kaia for giving Dean a taste of his own medicine and telling him off.
Bobby leave Sam alone, I’m here for his captain my captain era. The lovable giant is doing his best!
So some necromancer gets away from Jack & Dean but we’re not gonna see her again, right??? There’s just a little over 30 episodes left in the show at this point. They probably didn’t know that at the time though.
Shoutout to the devil for basically condemning his child to die from a lack of grace :/ while Cas was able to survive (cuz plot convenience most likely) Jack as a nephilim was unable to do so. Gabe’s spare angel grace couldn’t help (I wonder if he were still alive in canon, if it would’ve made a difference. Oh well).
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So this is where Cas made the deal with the empty (yes I know about it, how doesn’t everyone that shit went viral the very night it originally aired midst the infamous nail-biting 2020 election week), tumblr is still serving the memes to this day. And he doesn’t want the Winchesters to know cuz Dean DX idc if I was jack I would NOT keep that secret. Dean would know IMMEDIATELY.
I think more angels died, but heaven hasn’t fallen yet…right? They keep coming back to that. Hm…
Nick’s arc is…bleh. Pretty sure in his desperation he just brought Luci back from the empty…welp. I guess when you’re an archangel who was predestined by God to fight in a fateful epic battle against your big bro, you just get certain perks in the afterlife 😒
Sam doesn’t want Alt-Charlie to go when its like bro! She. Is. Not. Charlie!!! For fuck sake guys SMH, let her live her fucking life! God forbid she want to run away to fucking safety and not die bloody like her counterpart 🤬
Bobby and Mary run off to a cabin for weeks on end 😏😂 to recuperate, sure Mary 🤣
Garth is back! Working as a spy for the Winchesters, oh dear Lord no. I know he makes it to season 15 but maaaan I don't like this….
The nerve of Dean to challenge Alt-Kaia to either hand over the weapon or kill her. What if she just killed him? Also, can't they just replicate the weapon for their own uses? All they would need to do is ensure they're using the same materials Kaia did when she forged the weapon in her own world.
How many hits to the head is Sam supposed to fuckin' take? I feel like it's happened more in this season alone than the entire show so far? He should probably be dead at this point 🤣
Jack got taken, oh no! why didn't Michael kill him? To take him as a ward? Seriously? Whatever.
And it turns out the past episode was a long con to get Dean right where Alt-Michael wanted him. I know there was a catch to him letting Dean go in 14x02.
So Alt-Michael chose to trap Dean in…contentment? With Pamela Barnes? And they weren't even a couple, just friends. And she called him out on something.
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Why not have him be with a real girlfriend of his, like Lisa or even Cassie?
Dean's dream is an unsuccessful bar living out his days with a platonic lady friend??? Really??? Bullshit!
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John returns for the final time to go back to 2003? Okay. His hair is cut and grayish. Lol so I’m gonna see that as John gained some (from food/drink or muscle training idc) weight and dyes his hair black but the root are grew and come out every so often 🤣 but yay JDM I wish you had been in more episodes! Oh well.
So no one’s gonna talk about
a) Adam’s existence
b) Bobby X Mary or how Bobby essentially replaced john as the father/husband by getting involved with Mary AND being a surrogate father to Sam & Dean (with a clear preference to Dean but whatever)
I’d care more about Sam & John’s convo if we had more time with them on screen. But it was nice to see them squash their beef.
Dean & John’s convo was faaaar too brief. But insightful to their relationship. John wanted dean to have a family, echoing his wishes for his eldest in season 1 in his convo w/ Sam.
But Dean was like I have a family 🥺 my emotions!
Back to the Michael bullshit – a fight with a gorgon fucked up his containment so he literally broke out of Dean's body and killed all the hunters who were conveniently at the bunker when they brought an unconscious Dean back there. Even poor unfortunate Maggie. For a second I thought Mary would be there since Maggie mentioned she was on her way back but no, he ended up possessing Rowena.
Then they bring the old angel torture device of disabling our heroes' ability to breathe, like in the season 5 premiere, making them blind (that's new) and making them hurt.
Jack gets his chance to take Michael down, and takes his grace??????
Oh Sam bby, it's not your fault. Those people were doomed no matter what. TBH I'm surprised they lasted this long. But cuz he's a Winchester and he was raised by Dean & they've rubbed off each other too much at this point (nobromo), he decides to focus on yet another case even when Dean himself isn't willing since big bro has pointed out they have done 3 cases back to back. They're not the young men they used to be lol.
Cas goes with Sam to a milkshake town and given his legendary levels of awkwardness he's immediately seen and called out for his inherent queerness by the townsfolk (in all senses of the word).
Aw Sam wants to stay, ofc he does. This town is simple and peaceful. He could use some of that. Too bad this place is making people's heads explode.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Ah subtle there supernatural, making Jack, a Nephilim who's the offspring of the devil himself choose between angel and devil food cake XD Dean why would you put him in that position
Cas why you gotta be snitching on Sam to your boy bestie like that 🤣 – typical boyfriend tomfoolery
Oftentimes since Jack started in this show, he's felt like an intern and 14x16 is one of those times. They don't wanna bring jack along so they think to leave him alone doing chores. Good Lord.
Oh honey Sam you didn't have to tell the sheriff you're not FBI, just stick to the monster stuff. He knows what's up.
And jack sweetie pie you don't need to impress those kids. He should be hanging out with kids his own age. Just jack with a bunch of babies. So cute! My headcanon is that he can actually talk to them. At least then it wouldn't have ended with a stabbing. Thankfully he cleaned up his mess, even though the local kids are terrified of him. It’s a shame he doesn’t have friends. If only he was allowed to have Claire in his life.
They finally resolved the nick storyline (I hope) by killing him off thru Jack but Mary is not happy. She’s concerned. She’s been concerned about him the whole frickin episode since he sassed her as they tried setting up a game night with Dean. It’s like these people keep forgetting what Jack is capable of.
He didn’t have to relish the kill though. On the other hand, it felt like Mary’s concern was a bit much — if it were me I would’ve kept my mouth shut as to not upset a powerful fledging being into killing me by accident.
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So Mary dies…again.
This is why we can’t have nice things. I know Dean’s never gonna let this shit go. Sure Cas has fucked up a bunch but killing a direct blood relative of Dean’s…nope. That’s unforgivable. I know they’re not gonna let Dean kill off a kid but I know he’s NEVER ever gonna forget Jack’s role in Mary’s (second) demise.
Why couldn’t you leave the boy alone Mary?!?!?!!?!
The boys show up, did they not circle back to pick up their mother? Seriously? Goodness Lord. So depressing watching the brothers just assuming their mommy’s coming back 😭
Cas (cuz of course this shit went tits up while Daddy was away) calls Dean to get caught up on what happened the last episode and is concerned that the Winchesters left their mom alone with Jack. Then why did you leave him? You could’ve taken him with you. Like it would’ve been better if one of the brothers was alone with them? Badasses they may be but they would’ve ended up just like Mary let’s be honest. The only difference would’ve been whichever brother got got would’ve come back. Mary will not be getting that special treatment…
Jack is tripping out since he murdered his foster G-maw flying all over the world (so his soul is definitely gone? But if it were would he even care about killing Mary?) everyone’s trying to track him down IDK why he doesn’t just destroy the phone. We get flashes of Mary & jack’s time together and technically I believe she spent the most time with him (at least in season 13)
They still giving Mark P work on this show making him the manifestation of Jack’s subconscious cuz the kill is driving Jack insane 😭🥺 He’s reacting so much like a little boy who knows he fucked up it that makes this so much sadder 😭 jack’s being driven mad with grief.
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Oh fuck they’re going to where she died. Oh fuck.
WTF is wrong with these people! He’s a fucking boy! A super power nuke of a boy but still a fucking boy! Like the Winchesters never made a mistake! What about the nurse who got killed in 4x22 by Sam? All the people Dean slaughtered under the MoC, as a demon! That’s just off the top of my head! No but cuz they’re the protagonists.
Samuel Winchester you know manipulating this child Is 5 kinds of fucked up!
Jack why did you call it an accident! Did you not want to use the words murder? Destroyed? Obliterated?
Dean you piece of shit why are you lying to this boy!!!!!! You know he’s desperate to make peace with you and you lead him to a grave he’s never supposed to escape. Poor thing Jack is sooo scared! Sam the regret is gonna eat you alive! Sam for fucks sake, SPEAK THE FUCK UP! You clearly got shit you wanna say, fucking say it!
Dean you’re surprised he’s going along with it?! Of course he’s gonna go along with it, he wants to please you, you shady, manipulative BASTARD! That’s right Castiel stand up for Jack since nobody else is willing to!
Oh boy the celestial boy is freaking out. Claustrophobia is kicking, this shit ain’t gonna end well. It’s a dark day when a psychological manifestation of Satan is making sense.
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I’m not surprised Jack got out though. That box was made for an archangel and he isn’t that. He’s a nephilim, technically a different thing, right? So now the Winchesters have a pissed off creature on their hands. Great job team XD that’s right Jack, give them a piece of your fucking mind! Fuck ‘em up queen.
Oh shit! I’ve watched this part a dozen times on YouTube, the part where jack makes the whole world tell the truth no matter what! Donald trump is canonically Crowley’s bitch! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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All hail the stapler queen! Iconic!
And God reveals Himself, what grand timing! He says He came for Cas’s prayer (but he prayed to Him in season 6 no?) but then He states the real reason — Jack.
Meanwhile Jack went to see his real G-maw, not a good plan Jackie boy. She’s put 2+2 together that her daughter Kelly is NOT ok and now Jack has to confess the truth. (Where’s the dad? Was the actor unavailable or dead at this point?)
Sam was outed to love Celine Dion (I love her two Sammy it’s ok, her songs are AMAZING! My favorite is it’s all coming back to me now, I crush that shit in karaoke.) dean follows a mommy blog XD of course he does, probably cuz he identifies with her more and loves that her life is so full of shit (like I said, he identifies with her).
God don’t sanction lying, the real God would never do such a thing. Isn’t it like the 6th commandment, thou shall not lie? Like dude, the fuck?!
And no writing means telling stories that are often made up but it’s not meant to deceit. But Hollywood on the other hand…yeesh.
Dean breaking Chuck’s guitar XD 🤣
Chuck saying DON’T shooking up Dean XD
Why are you asking them how things are, like you don’t know?! You’re omnipotent!
They canonically made the British queen a lizard? Damn. These old Americans (the writers) are dicks!
Finally Sam is speaking up! Thank God!
Dean stop blaming people, Jesus, it was an accident (Jack you phrased it sooooo poorly) shout out to Sam for taking it this so well cuz he’s been through too much this season. He lost a whole fucking army, then his mom after he got to know her this time! And the concussions! So many concussions.
Angry Cas is sooooo fucking hot 🥵
Awww the first thing he does when he sees Jack is hugs him. Jack needed that shit so bad!
The biggest travesty is we never got to see SquirrelVerse!
When sam asks if God is watching them — Sam do you even know what omnipotent means?!
It’s just like I said in season 11. God doesn’t owe anyone anything. But everyone owes him everything. He gave everyone the freedom to choose, for better or worse. But this iteration of who God is seems to watch what people and creatures decide to do with their lives. He made the weapon to see who among Sam, Dean or Cas would take it and strike Jack down.
So ultimately when Dean tracks Jack down and Jack gets Cas into a tombstone and Sam is running dramatically to stop it, Dean decides not to kill Jack. But why though? He kept talking shit about how Jack needed to be dealt with, but when the moment comes he just won’t do it?! I mean I’m glad but it doesn’t really make sense?!
Was it the puppy eyes? Did Sam teach him that trick? But jack closed his eyes at the last second?
Oh Dean, you’re such a fucking softie. That’s on you God. You made him softer than Mr. Pillsberry.
And if anything, Dean is the step daddy. Cas is Daddy. And then there’s Uncle Sam XD
Sam is many things but stupid is never one of them. Naïve maybe, trusting, desperate. But not stupid. And not crazy, this time XD
I will say what makes this story compelling is the fact that the Winchesters find themselves locked in a cycle of violence at the hands of their Creator, and they’re refusing to commit further acts of violence in effort to stop it all and rebel against their cruel, dispassionate maker. But they have no means to back it up…today.
Not the Burger King catchphrase.
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Not Jack being…smote?
Not Dean being yeeted into another tombstone?
Sam why did you think that was gonna work on God? He made the weapon. You really think He’d make something that could kill Himself. Nah bruh.
So we’ve approached the ending of the penultimate season. 20 more episodes to go! Ah!!!! I’m excited but also not since the ending is what I know (mildly).
Side note - Sam & Dean still don’t know about Castiel’s bargain with the Empty (kinda seems pointless since God killed Jack anyway…Cas basically fucked himself for nothing :/ [I know how it ends but yeah still])
It’s not about the destination though, it’s the journey (I keep telling myself thAt).
God said fuck y’all. Shouldn’t’ve poked the bear…now these poor innocent people gonna die like sheep to the slaughter. Y’all got a lot of cleaning up to do and with so little people to help you.
So did God undo all the killings the Winchesters did? Cuz damn….that’s 10+ years of work undone. In 1 moment.
They’re not getting out of the cycle anytime soon.
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starburstfloat · 2 years
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The Female Gaze in 2521: On Empowered Female Characters and Healthy Masculinity
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Y’all I’m so excited to dive into this!
If you’re a kdrama fan, then by now you’ve probably caught on that kdramas often incorporate “the female gaze”. While it’s debated what’s considered the female gaze, we can all conclude that it is different from the omnipresent male gaze in media.
The male gaze describes the visual or aesthetic presentation of women in a way that depicts them as sexual objects, with personalities that tend to center towards men or their fantasies of how women "should" behave. That’s a bit of an oversimplification, but if you watch literally any popular show or movie, you’ll quickly notice the male gaze because it’s woven into the camerawork, the characterization, or body language of the characters on screen. See if you can catch it here.
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Not so subtle, right? Kdramas are not free from it, either, but it is worth noting that kdramas do tend to pull an opposing card, namely the female gaze.
This tends to center female characters as being a spectator rather than an object, and typically holding more agency, meaning they lead their lives and choices. The male characters are often characterized as charming, sweet, polite, and romantic.
I see two forms of the female gaze in 2521: first, the empowered female characters and their depiction on screen; second, the portrayal of healthy masculinity in the leading male characters. 
Since this would actually become a literal essay if I tried to encompass every instance or relevant detail, I’m limiting it to just a few observations. But trust me, this show is abundant with many more. If you want to discuss it more, feel free to message me - I’m a nerd for this shit haha
Anyway, leggo~
Let’s start with our empowered protagonists (abbreviated to FC for Female Character from here on)!
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Hee Do’s character is a take on the classic “I’m not like other girls” trope but thankfully the writers have spun it into a refreshingly animated and enlivened perspective. She is loud, sometimes adorably obnoxious, a little childish, and passionate. Contrary to the typical loud kdrama FC, she is innocent but not naive. Also contrary to other FCs, she does not seek a love interest. Her main goal is to improve her fencing and transfer to the school where her idol trains.
I like how Yi Jin’s presence in Hee Do’s life lifts her up and helps her accomplish her goals, but he’s not an absolute necessity. This kdrama could very well have orbited around the high school friend group and Hee Do would still succeed. This is pretty poignant, since Yi Jin being there merely enriches her life. She still ultimately has agency over her choices and dreams.
Also, let’s highlight how none of these FC are sexualized, be it their school uniforms, fencing gear, or the beach scene. Yes, Korea is much more conservative with these things, and yes, I think the writers and directors were cognizant of the thin line they were treading with the age gap and Hee Do being a minor for a while. But still! I think it’s worth celebrating and pointing out that they often show her wearing her red tracksuit pants under her skirt while no one else does. 
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Seungwan is another FC who shines so well with the female gaze. She’s the one who makes an active effort to call out the abuse of the teachers at her school. She is an active participant in her life - she makes a clear stand that she will no longer tolerate witnessing abuse. Her agency is clear: she’s not backing down, and not stooping down to threats of being expelled.
Instead, she whips a reverse uno card and goes fuck this place, I’m leaving. That’s not to say empowerment comes without vulnerability and emotion. I think that’s what I enjoy so much about FCs done well in kdramas contrary to western media lately, because western media female empowerment these days seems to be “see, I’m a heartless bitch, watch me stand up for my beliefs and not even cry”. So when Seungwan explains the situation to her mom and says she’s sorry and starts crying in her mother’s embrace, it makes her moment of courage to leave and stand for her values that much stronger.
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It’s brave because it has a toll. It’s brave because it’s an unfair situation to be put into. Crying about it makes that reality crash down on us much harder. Also, can we celebrate how this drama doesn’t attempt to give us beautiful crying scenes? A lot of male gaze centric media will make even women’s suffering an aesthetic viewing experience. But this? Not at all. We got runny noses, snot, creased eyebrows and sobbing breaths and shaking shoulders. Beauty isn’t the focus. It’s the feeling. 
This feels like a good transition into part 2: healthy masculinity! Because! Let me tell you!! We have plenty of kdramas with men crying, sure. But I’ve never seen performances like this where 1) male crying is filmed in such an intimate way and 2) where the female lead is framed as the dominant comfort - but not an emotionless hero, either.
Let’s talk about Jiwoong’s crying scene on the rooftop when he found out Seungwan was leaving.
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The camerawork doesn’t shy away from showing the growing hurt and welling tears in his eyes. She comes over to hug him, swooping her arms over his shoulders even though he’s the taller one. We see him cover his face but not shy away from letting it out. She pats him on the back. It’s refreshing to see a male character cry without him having to throw things or break shit lmao like men can just stand there and cry and allow women to see them like this. 
Transition into Yi Jin’s crying scenes (oh man, Nam Joo Hyuk is my favorite actor for a reason: you can read his face so perfectly without him needing to speak). Yi Jin’s crying scenes are also devoid of being overly dramatic while still encompassing the intensity of his feelings and the weight of the moment. The scene that stands out the most to me is in episode 8 when he’s doing the live reporting via the hotel room but his computer crashes.
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The deafening silence hits the audience hard. It’s meant to feel like a slap in the face because we’re meant to sit in his shock for a bit. The shock, denial, anger, and sadness washes over him as the camera centers a closeup of his face. He shakily puts down the phone, gets up, collapses next to the hotel bed, lifts up the sheets, and shouts - and I mean fucking shouts - into the duvet. This happens as the camera pans out so we all go from feeling caught up in his emotional turmoil to feeling the spaciousness of the room around him; how he’s so alone, how he has no one to rely on in this moment.
I fucking held my breath man. Because this felt so intimate. We don't normally see male characters on screen break down like this. And if so, it might be framed in an aesthetic or artistic way or even sexual way, like crying in the shower. This was just...plain hard truth. That shit was intense. Can I just say? Oscar worthy, my dude. 
The second moment that stands out combines the two observations! We get an empowered FC and a representation of healthy masculinity all in one! That’s right peeps, I’m talking the tunnel crying scene.
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God, what a performance. Note how the camerawork highlights that he is collapsed and lower than her.
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Hee Do is the one holding his face. She’s the one who caresses his tears away. And mind you, even though we’re talking the Very Handsome Baek Yi Jin here, he is still a snotty crying mess. In traditional media, this visual is very much a male-dominant gaze: a helpless woman being saved by a heroic male protagonist in her moment of vulnerability, held in his arms, her tears being wiped away. This scene flipped the script, though. It’s beautiful to see a female character in this role. And again, just like with Seungwan, it’s not to say that she, being the hero in this moment, is devoid of emotion either. No, she cries too. She cries because she sees him, sees his pain. She doesn’t let it eat away at her and let her spiral. It isn’t an overly dramatic moment of hysteria and tears. It’s an acknowledgement: I see you. I understand you. Which is why their romance is all the more special. These are two people who have now seen each other at their worst. And they still choose to be gentle and soft and caring because the world around them is cruel enough.
What are your thoughts? Overall, I keep finding ways to celebrate this kdrama. Be it the writing, the visual directing and color theory, the character development and character arcs…….there’s just nothing quite like it. And I don’t think there will be something like it for a while. Hopefully this sets the new standard.
Love you fam :) Thanks for reading!
Peace out~
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albonoooo · 2 months
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got tagged by @wanderingblindly, thank you my beloved <3
what colour are your eyes?: a mixture of blue, green and grey that looks puddle-coloured most of the time.
tell me about your pets/your dream pet: after 15 wonderful years, our family dog paul (i named him that when i was five lol) unfortunately passed away in august 2023, i loved that dog more than most people. (there were some pictures of him here, but i got nervous that someone i know might see this so i removed them lmao). i'd love to get a dog or a cat at some point later in my life, but not now or any time soon.
share some interesting fact about yourself: i'm genuinely incredibly boring, so much so that i had to ask for help to find an answer here. the council decided on the fact that i know how to ride and own a motorcycle and am also a member in an mf in my hometown.
what was the first fandom you were a part of?: i guess the first time i was properly involved with fandom in any capacity was during my teen wolf days.
do you have any phobias?: i don't know if it's bad enough to be considered a phobia, but i'm terrified of heights. there have been several instances of me breaking down crying despite trying to keep it together while being in very high places (usually while having to climb dodgy stairs in very high buildings, among other things).
are you a picky eater? if so, what food can't you stand?: YES! and i hate it because it's so so limiting and annoying. i am incredibly sensitive regarding taste and texture and i have to physically force myself to hold back visceral reactions to foods i don't like. it'd probably be easier to list the foods i can eat tbh.
do you eat the burger and fries at the same time or one after another?: first some fries, then burger, fries, burger, fries, finish the burger, finish the fries. anything else is weird (what the fuck do you mean you eat them completely separately, liquid???)
winter or summer: winter all the way. i sweat easily, my body generally doesn't cope well with heat and i prefer bundling up and being a little cold over feeling too warm.
favourite fanfiction tropes: i LOVE a good au, any au really, but especially the cute ones. i'll read almost anything at least once and so there's just too many things i have read and enjoyed to list here. also, anything with an enemies to lovers situation. i am a sucker for that.
are you studying or working? what do you study/is your job?: both! i'm a full-time student (english major, history minor) and i am one of the student assistants in the english department's student office. i've also had other, less fun part-time jobs in the past.
what is the last country you visited: the netherlands and belgium during a day trip (by motorcycle) in june or july last year, i think.
what country would you want to move to after retiring?: i've haven't ever even considered living that long. i've always had a fascination with ireland and scotland, so based on looks and vibes alone i'd go there. or somewhere with solid winters, like a scandinavian country or finland.
who was your first crush?: hannes (played by nick romeo reimann) in the vorstadtkrokodile movies. i was ready for marriage, dreaming up a life together and everything. it also lasted until i was like 12 years old, so about six years in total. he really had me in a chokehold.
how did you get into f1 fandom?: after my interest was peaked by f1 edits that randomly popped up all over my social media one day (thank you algorithms), i did what i always do when something like that happens and opened tumblr to see what's up. and then i got stuck lol.
i have no clue who has or hasn't been tagged already, so feel free to ignore this!! @hrhgeorgerussell @bright-and-burning @borntogayz @lil-italian-disappointment @liamlawsonlesbian @piastrisms
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pesterloglog · 4 months
Text
Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Karkat Vantas
Act 6, page 4696-4721
DAVE: hey
ROSE: Sup.
DAVE: anyone seen terezi around
ROSE: No.
ROSE: Why?
DAVE: we were gonna do a thing
DAVE: but shes not around and not answering my messages
DAVE: on any one of the probably ten thousand computers lying around that they would show up on
ROSE: A thing?
DAVE: yes a thing
ROSE: I see.
DAVE: shut up
DAVE: what about you have you seen her
KANAYA: No
KANAYA: Have You Seen Gamzee
DAVE: are you serious
DAVE: of course not
DAVE: i havent seen that guy at all since the first day we got here
DAVE: not once
KANAYA: Yeah
KANAYA: I Know
DAVE: talk about an elusive juggalo
DAVE: probably like the shyest fuckin juggalo of all time
DAVE: im pretty sure only karkats seen him
DAVE: dont expect him to rat him out either because of the "morail" junk
DAVE: moirail?
DAVE: mwah rail...
DAVE: alien words
KANAYA: I Wouldnt Expect Him To
KANAYA: I Wouldnt Even Ask It Would Be Really Bad Form To Ask Him That
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: i mean i bet you think youre imparting some really obscure cultural fact about trolls
DAVE: but really if a human said to another human
DAVE: "hey man can you tell me where your best clown friend is hiding so i can go chainsaw him to death"
DAVE: just fyi that would probably be bad form too
KANAYA: Okay
DAVE: i dunno its been a year already i think hes really intent on hiding
DAVE: and hanging on to those dead bodies
DAVE: hes probably scared to death of you at this point anyway
DAVE: maybe you should just let it go
KANAYA: Hmm
DAVE: rose back me up
ROSE: I try to stay out of troll interpersonal politics.
DAVE: interpersonal
DAVE: wait
DAVE: are you saying this is like
DAVE: a spade quadrant thing
DAVE: is she trying to be his kismet fish
ROSE: I'm saying no such thing!
DAVE: well if she hates him isnt that what that means
ROSE: Dave, don't be a dick. You're embarrassing her.
DAVE: haha no im not shes cool
DAVE: look shes being cool about it
KANAYA: Im Being Cool About It
DAVE: see????
KANAYA: Its Not Like That
KANAYA: I Just Want To Find Him
KANAYA: And
KANAYA: At Least Wound Him Somewhat
DAVE: yeah see i knew there had to be a perfectly harmless and unerotic explanation
ROSE: (shh!)
KANAYA: No
KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly
KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically
KANAYA: Just
KANAYA: Fuck That Guy
DAVE: got it
DAVE: so what are you up to in here
DAVE: whats with all these books
ROSE: Research.
ROSE: We're trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.
ROSE: You are aware this meteor has many secret rooms scattered throughout, including libraries, right?
DAVE: hell yeah
DAVE: we looted one of them for the can town project
ROSE: Can Town?
DAVE: i told you about can town didnt i
ROSE: No??
DAVE: well
DAVE: the thing about can town
DAVE: and all there really is to say about can town is
DAVE: its awesome
DAVE: the end???
ROSE: Wow.
ROSE: What a story.
DAVE: fu
DAVE: so
DAVE: what is the point of this research
ROSE: Primarily to gain a more thorough understanding of the situation we'll be entering when we arrive.
DAVE: i thought you pretty much already knew the situation
DAVE: since you can see the future
ROSE: Oh my God.
ROSE: I've told you. I can't see the future!
DAVE: yes you can
DAVE: you totally can
ROSE: Ok. But not all of it. Only certain relevant pieces.
ROSE: It's a bit frustrating when people make that presumption about you.
ROSE: For instance, you are a Knight of Time. Since you have such mastery over time, doesn't that mean you should know everything about the future too?
DAVE: no thats totally dumb
DAVE: i could know things about the future if i time traveled and found out first hand
DAVE: nobodys mistaking that about me im a time traveler not a fuckin fortune teller its simple as shit
ROSE: Right. So there are significant limitations on what you can know, governed by certain rules.
ROSE: That's how it is for a Seer too.
DAVE: ok whatever
ROSE: But I will say that I have been able to use these abilities to assist with research.
ROSE: I can treat my finite glimpses as an additional source of information.
ROSE: If you combine that with the knowledge we've gathered from these texts, and things we've learned from our various encounters with the deceased, with a bit of inference and deduction, a more detailed picture is coming into focus.
DAVE: nice
ROSE: Do you want to hear about it?
DAVE: uh
DAVE: now?
ROSE: Yes.
ROSE: Why not? It's been a year.
ROSE: It seems like all we've done on this trip so far is indulge in lavish interior decoration projects and screw around with mysterious "Can Town" initiatives, which may or may not be consuming valuable library resources as building materials.
ROSE: We could make at least some effort to squeeze in annual briefings on our objective.
DAVE: yeah that would be pretty legit of us
ROSE: I think you'll find that when it comes to striving for a reasonable approximation of legitimacy, we are simply the most barely adequate there is.
DAVE: ok i didnt really catch any of that bullshit cause i wasnt listening
DAVE: im gonna make myself a cup of coffee and get primed to listen to you saying a lot of stuff like that
DAVE: do you want some
ROSE: Um. Sure.
DAVE: kanaya?
KANAYA: No Thank You
DAVE: ok
DAVE: ...
DAVE: this fuckin thing
DAVE: where did you even unearth this piece of shit from
DAVE: oh ok there it goes
DAVE: two hot revitalizing cups of shitty coffee
DAVE: fresh out of the weird pod
DAVE: why do we even drink this shit
DAVE: i guess just cause this thing is here
DAVE: like somehow the temptation is even stronger because the coffee sucks?
DAVE: dunno how the fuck that works
DAVE: wish there was such a thing as apple juice on troll world
DAVE: could go for a bottle of aj
DAVE: i wonder if theres any booze squirreled away on this meteor
DAVE: kinda feels like we should be drinking our asses off here
DAVE: no adults nothing to do
DAVE: thats what you do without adults right
DAVE: get wasted all the time?
DAVE: wait what the fuck am i saying trolls dont even have adults
DAVE: well they do
DAVE: but theyre all in outer space being insane badasses
DAVE: i guess they do have the stupid nanny monsters
DAVE: do the monsters give a shit if they get wasted
ROSE: Are you talking to us?
DAVE: what
ROSE: We can't even hear you mumbling over there.
DAVE: oh
ROSE: How's that coffee coming?
DAVE: off the shit is how
DAVE: all being like
DAVE: in cups and everything
ROSE: Be sure it makes it to the table before it accumulates that strange unctuous film on the surface.
DAVE: so whats with the big book youre writing in
DAVE: is that more wizard fan fiction
ROSE: No, it's something like an extensive journal.
ROSE: I'm recording everything we've been through so far, and detailed notes on everything we know about the game.
ROSE: I'm also using it to document our research, and extrapolate on the new session and players.
DAVE: so its like
DAVE: your nigh unreadable gamefaq
DAVE: in tome form
ROSE: Somewhat.
DAVE: you sure like to write big game guides
ROSE: I don't look at it that way.
ROSE: I'm approaching it from a standpoint of responsible historical documentation.
ROSE: Don't you think people in the future will want to know about our story?
DAVE: i guess
ROSE: I think it could be a very useful resource some day.
ROSE: It could be helpful to others beginning their own quests.
DAVE: ehh
DAVE: chances of that seem pretty remote
KANAYA: I Really Wouldnt Rule It Out
DAVE: ok totally sold on that suddenly
DAVE: on account of not caring
DAVE: so tell me about the new session
DAVE: what is there to know
DAVE: and most importantly
DAVE: how is everything going to go wrong this time
ROSE: From what I understand, everything already has gone wrong before the game even started, in many different ways than ours did.
ROSE: There are indications of thicker political intrigue. Assassination attempts. And a usurpation of the throne more insidious than what we dealt with.
ROSE: But those examples still don't illustrate the fundamental fault with their session.
ROSE: Ours had a similar fault. It was a null session.
ROSE: Literature on the subject says null sessions are actually very common.
ROSE: It is any session resulting in failure, and as such, designed to result in failure from the start, due to Skaia's comprehensive "knowledge" of its own fate, and that of all it illumines.
ROSE: Biologically speaking, it's to be expected that null sessions far outnumber the successful ones. When it comes to reproductive systems, overwhelming redundancy is commonplace.
ROSE: A universe has a reproductive system that spreads many seeds, as it were, most of which never come to fruition. So we shouldn't feel too bad about our results, really. It was quite par for the course.
ROSE: But then, it would also seem that exceedingly few null sessions result in the birth of a massive green star fueled by two dead universes. For what it's worth.
DAVE: ok but i thought the whole point of this
DAVE: the scratch thing
DAVE: is it gave us a chance to still win
DAVE: but youre saying the new session has a fault too?
ROSE: Well, yes. There's more to it though.
ROSE: The new session is essentially our session, rebooted with different parameters which also affected the original conditions of our universe.
ROSE: And strangely, it seems the new one is a null session as well, but within a much less common subset of all null sessions.
ROSE: This one is referred to as a void session.
DAVE: ok
DAVE: which is what
ROSE: It's very simply a session in which nothing is prototyped before entry, at all.
ROSE: Hence, by Skaia's preemptive all-knowing and its influence on the rest of the incipisphere, there are not even any towers on Prospit or Derse built to receive the split kernels.
ROSE: See?
DAVE: weird
DAVE: why would these alt universe players fuck up in such an obvious and stupid way
ROSE: I don't know what specifically led to the failure to prototype anything.
ROSE: But it doesn't really matter. As I said, the session was designed this way before they began playing. Any efforts to prototype may have been in vain regardless. Possibly subject to sabotage.
DAVE: didnt you say at some point that not prototyping anything would be really bad
ROSE: Yes.
ROSE: It's just another way to create an infertile session. Though by a less catastrophic and bloody route we took to achieve the same result.
ROSE: By contrast, it leads to a rather harmless, uneventful session. Underlings remain unaugmented, and so does the royalty.
ROSE: And while this may sound advantageous to the players, it's a curse in disguise. The lack of prototypings which keeps adversaries unevolved has the same influence on the battlefield.
ROSE: Without successive prototypings, the battlefield will never reach its final form, which must be fertilized to grow a new universe.
ROSE: Instead, it remains in its most basic form, stuck in eternal stalemate.
ROSE: There is nothing players in a void session can do to change this. They are resigned to live out the rest of their days in a dead end session.
DAVE: still waiting to hear how this is in any way an improvement on all the shit we just escaped from
ROSE: It's a vast improvement.
ROSE: The new session is a blank slate, without a ridiculously short time limit for victory like ours had.
ROSE: There will be no time limit at all, in fact.
ROSE: Once we arrive, ostensibly that is when the nature of the session will change.
ROSE: It won't be classifiable as either a null or void session anymore. It will be something which, as far as I can tell, is unique.
ROSE: The fully matured battlefield from our session can be used to make the new one viable. The path to success will be made possible by a combination of efforts and assets from both iterations.
ROSE: Usually scratched sessions are absolute resets, and involve no direct influence from the first attempt at all. I can't find any precedent for our situation.
DAVE: jade has our battlefield right
ROSE: Yes.
DAVE: so she shows up and drops it in skaia
DAVE: and then we take the result of all that damn frog breeding we did and stick the thing in there somehow
DAVE: and we sit back and wait for it to do its huge ribbit or whatever
DAVE: and were golden
ROSE: Pretty much.
ROSE: As long as there is an actual vacancy in the center of Skaia when we get there.
DAVE: is that going to be a problem
ROSE: I don't think so.
ROSE: Even if it were, it would be a trivial obstacle.
ROSE: But as it is, I think the forces opposing these players are clandestinely working toward the same goal as we are.
ROSE: From what I can tell, gestures of antagonism, while certainly posing legitimate danger, have been factored in as critical stepping stones to one destination shared by all parties.
ROSE: I don't know why this is, or what the motives are yet.
ROSE: The appearance is one of clear sailing ahead, but traces of conspiracy are everywhere.
DAVE: ok but
DAVE: conspiracies aside
DAVE: did it ever really look like clear sailing to you
DAVE: thats not what i was seeing
DAVE: we are going to arrive and then soon after jack is going to show up
DAVE: and then we have to beat him right
DAVE: so there kind of is a time limit
ROSE: Yes, we will have to deal with Jack before all is said and done.
ROSE: And that will definitely be a major challenge.
ROSE: But it is not impossible. At least, not by design.
ROSE: When I said there would be no time limit in this session, I was talking about something more specific.
ROSE: There will be no reckoning.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: why not
ROSE: It's a logical consequence of any void session.
ROSE: The battlefield never evolves, and therefore the more extensive war between Prospit and Derse never takes shape.
ROSE: It is only when the Prospitian king falls in battle that the reckoning can be initiated by the forces of Derse.
ROSE: The meteors then rush to destroy the battlefield, while Skaia redirects them through defense portals for as long as it can.
ROSE: Thus, if there is no war, there is no reckoning, no meteors, and no imminent threat of failure.
ROSE: This is of course good news for Earth as well. During the reckoning, Skaia redirects all incoming meteors to the only place it can. Earth.
ROSE: So it turns out that players who initiate a void session are not actually condemning their home planet to an apocalyptic wasteland after they leave.
ROSE: In the new instance of our universe, Earth is just fine.
ROSE: Sort of.
DAVE: so
DAVE: no meteors came at all
DAVE: you mean by fucking up and having to scratch we also sort of saved earth in the process
ROSE: Again: sort of.
ROSE: And it's not that there were no meteors whatsoever.
ROSE: Just the vast majority of the destructive onslaught never showed up.
ROSE: But delivering the temple to the site of the forge is still integral to jumpstarting the session.
ROSE: That meteor however could have been propelled through a portal by any means, not just via the reckoning.
DAVE: i see
DAVE: what about the players themselves
DAVE: they had to arrive on meteors too didnt they
DAVE: i guess the baby meteors were some exceptions too right
ROSE: Yes.
ROSE: But they weren't flung through portals in their own session, nor will they be created there.
ROSE: They were created in our session, and sent back through our portals. Just like us.
DAVE: ................
ROSE: To understand what happened, it really helps to understand exactly what a scratch is.
ROSE: When John severely damaged the Beat Mesa on your planet, and sent it off to Skaia to release its temporal energy there, you could view it as a kind of "request."
ROSE: We were asking Skaia to change everything at a fundamental level, and we gave it the energy to do so.
ROSE: But Skaia is a very passive entity. It only "knows" and "sees," but it never quite "acts."
ROSE: When it is asked to change everything, there is only so much it has control over.
ROSE: In fact, it has control over exactly one thing. The defense portals.
ROSE: It can decide to send important meteors to different points in time than originally planned, thus creating alternate realities.
ROSE: Offshoots of promise, rather than futility.
ROSE: And it turns out the most important meteors of all tend to be the ones delivering the young players to their planet.
ROSE: So all it has to do to change everything is tweak their destination times a bit.
ROSE: All internally-prompted changes in the post-scratch universe are decided entirely by this modest adjustment to the parameters.
ROSE: It's a very simple concept, actually.
ROSE: Yet the consequences are dramatic. It results in not only a hard reset for the session, but a partial reset for the universe too, due to the many causal entanglements between a session and its originating universe.
DAVE: what do you mean tweak the destination times
DAVE: where did they get sent to
ROSE: A variety of different time periods.
ROSE: The simplest way to way to look at it is to picture the original destinations of our two groups of four ecto-babies...
ROSE: And switch them.
DAVE: what
ROSE: Though this is just a slight oversimplification.
ROSE: While it's roughly true, Skaia had some peculiar whims this time.
ROSE: While most landed in time periods corresponding with the original group,
ROSE: It seems that two of the new players arrived four centuries ahead of everyone else.
ROSE: For some bizarre reason.
DAVE: uh
ROSE: But they're still apparently able to communicate with their coplayers through I guess some Trollian-like technology, and they're still able to establish game connections with the others. So this stands as an odd but not otherwise terribly significant detail.
DAVE: so
DAVE: uh
DAVE: in this alt universe group of us and
DAVE: them
DAVE: which ones are the actual players
ROSE: I'll give you a hint.
ROSE: It isn't us.
DAVE: fuck
DAVE: why did i know that was gonna be the answer
ROSE: And to think that usually I'm the one accused of knowing the future.
DAVE: i dunno if im ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit
ROSE: You would find it less disconcerting if the players were alternate versions of us?
DAVE: man
DAVE: at least im used to dealing with alt daves
DAVE: ive been fuck deep in alt daves before
DAVE: its a goddamn delight if you want to know the truth
DAVE: but i dont even know what to think about...
ROSE: What?
ROSE: Meeting a deceased figure of authority as a peer?
DAVE: lets not even talk about it ok
DAVE: can we slow down this meteor
DAVE: delay the meetup
DAVE: maybe fight jack for a little while
ROSE: I honestly thought you would find the idea exciting.
ROSE: I know I'm looking forward to it.
DAVE: but your mom was just a nice alcoholic spinster who liked wizards who you complained about for no reason
DAVE: she wasnt anything like an untouchable master of irony who could replace the meat in your sandwich before it even occurred to you what the fuck you were chewing
DAVE: let me ask you this did your mom ever wiggle a puppet in your face even ONCE
ROSE: Not that I recall.
ROSE: But anecdotes like that just make me more curious to meet him, personally.
DAVE: fine well you can be on bro duty then
DAVE: ill be the ambassador to your mom
DAVE: and no that wasnt actually meant as the sick burn it sounded like
ROSE: She's your mom too, though.
DAVE: yeah i know
DAVE: ill be the ambassador to my mom then
DAVE: that sounds pretty stupid when i say it that way
DAVE: whatever
DAVE: ill be the fuckin one man welcome wagon for the john and jade teen old people and also our mom thats the plan
DAVE: so when we finally see them we can get our shit into formation like trained acrobats
DAVE: like ill blow a whistle and we make a human pyramid got it
DAVE: that way we can totally avoid anything awkward
ROSE: You do realize we've seen her already, right?
DAVE: what
DAVE: when
ROSE: Months ago.
ROSE: In a dream.
ROSE: She was floating along in Derse pajamas, asleep.
DAVE: wait that was her
ROSE: Yes.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: huh
DAVE: .....
ROSE: You're wondering why I didn't tell you?
DAVE: no
ROSE: You're specifically wondering why I wasn't forthcoming with an answer to your question at the time, "hey who was that choice babe in the pajamas?"
DAVE: god fucking dammit
ROSE: You don't find it nostalgic at all?
ROSE: Retracing the steps of some of our Freudian semi-blunders in conversations past?
DAVE: no what a load of shit
DAVE: stuff said between you and me before we knew we were related
DAVE: we both know that was a lot of horseplay bullfuckery between like smartass 10 year olds or whatever
DAVE: you cant seriously have taken any of that seriously
ROSE: ;)
DAVE: ugh dont ever do that
DAVE: all these fuckin
DAVE: momtraps and sistertraps
DAVE: what a joke i hope skaia gets to have a good laugh over shit like this
DAVE: wait i forgot skaia doesnt laugh it just "sees" and "knows"
DAVE: its like a huge blue perv thats mad jazzed for kidcest
KANAYA: What Are You People Even Talking About
ROSE: ;)
DAVE: dont you wink at her
DAVE: kanaya heres a protip that wink meant jack dick shes just being weird
KANAYA: I Feel As Though This Conversation Has Utterly Outmaneuvered My Constructive Involvement
KANAYA: Im Going To Go
DAVE: yeah im pretty much ollying outie too
DAVE: got some shit to attend to
DAVE: after you
KANAYA: Augh
KANAYA: Why Does That Always Happen
KARKAT: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY.
KARKAT: I GOT A LAB FULL OF HUMANS, A MOUTH FULL OF YELLING, AND A TORTURED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FULL OF TOTALLY HYSTERICAL EMOTIONS AND UNAIRED GRIEVANCES AT PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY.
DAVE: karkat is broken guys
KARKAT: YEAH
KARKAT: OK HOLD ON
KARKAT: IF I CAN SETTLE DOWN A TICK I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE MORE SENSE SHORTLY
KARKAT: JUST ONE...
KARKAT: *huff huff*
ROSE: Maybe you should lie down on the couch.
KARKAT: FUCK...
KARKAT: *wheeze*
KARKAT: NO
DAVE: dude what is the matter with you
KARKAT: WOW OK
KARKAT: THAT WAS A PRETTY TERRIBLE ENTRANCE.
KARKAT: ANYWAY
KARKAT: WHERE WAS I.
DAVE: dunno but i was just leaving
KARKAT: NOT SO FAST STRIDER, THIS HEAVILY CONCERNS YOU.
KARKAT: IT CONCERNS YOU EXCLUSIVELY IN FACT.
KARKAT: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
DAVE: just stepping out to do a thing
DAVE: which is not your business
KARKAT: LIKE MY INFLAMED QUAKING GALLSPHINCTER IT'S NOT.
KARKAT: TELL ME, ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE GOING TO HAVE SOME COMPANY WHEN YOU STEP OUT TO DO THIS "THING?"
KARKAT: NOTICE THE TWO HEAVILY DRAMATIZED "ENCLOSURE TALONS" SURROUNDING THAT WORD, WHICH I AM SCORNFULLY PANTOMIMING WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS, AS PRESENTLY BEING DEMONSTRATED FOR YOU.
DAVE: yeah sure
KARKAT: OH??
KARKAT: WHO WOULD THAT BE MAY I ASK?
DAVE: well
DAVE: probably the mayor
DAVE: hes usually down for whatever
KARKAT: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING MAYOR, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.
DAVE: hey dont be saying shit about the mayor
DAVE: the mayor rules hes like my best fucking friend
KARKAT: HE'S NOT A MAYOR. HE'S THE MAYOR OF FUCKSTICK JUNCTION LOCATED SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF PRETEND ASS NOWHERE.
DAVE: hes a mayor you douche his thing says mayor
KARKAT: IT SAYS "MAYO" AND HE WROTE THE "R" HIMSELF.
KARKAT: HE'S AT BEST A MAYO. AND WHO EVER HEARD OF A MAYO? IT'S EVERY BIT AS IMAGINARY AS HIS IDENTITY AS AN ELECTED OFFICIAL.
DAVE: no mayo is like grub sauce but without grubs
KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK EVER HEARD OF GRUB SAUCE WITHOUT GRUBS??? WHAT'S IT MADE OF THEN GENIUS!
DAVE: like
DAVE: uh
DAVE: i dunno its white and it just sort of exists
DAVE: you dont ask about mayo thats not what you do with mayo
KARKAT: ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW QUICKLY YOUR BULLSHIT UNRAVELS WHEN SOMEONE INTELLIGENT ACTUALLY HOLDS YOU ACCOUNTABLE??
KARKAT: YOU ARE FUCKING BUSTED STRIDER.
KARKAT: YOU ARE BUSTED ABOUT "MAYO" AND YOU ARE BUSTED ABOUT TEREZI.
DAVE: hahaha you are pathetic
DAVE: this is why you all stormed in here out of breath
DAVE: what did you actually sprint all the way across the meteor to tell me this
KARKAT: WHAT I DO WITH MY LEGS AND HOW FAST I MOVE THEM IS MY BUSINESS YOU SHIT.
DAVE: yeah and what i do with mine is mine
DAVE: watch me make them make me leave
KARKAT: I SAID STAY YOUR ASS PUT, WE'RE TALKING HERE.
DAVE: dude dont touch my cape
DAVE: ...
DAVE: huh
KARKAT: WHAT
DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it
KARKAT: OK, LOOK I'M NOWHERE NEAR YOUR PRECIOUS STUPID CAPE. JUST LISTEN.
KARKAT: BEFORE YOU GO OFF TO SNOG TEREZI IN YOUR IDIOTIC LITTLE VILLAGE OF NUTRITION CYLINDERS, HEAR ME OUT.
DAVE: man
DAVE: you are so overblowing this
KARKAT: BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I AM!
DAVE: yeah you are
DAVE: you have some idea about us or what were getting up to
DAVE: so weve done a few things together to pass the time so what
DAVE: i dont even think you could call them dates or anything
DAVE: what the fuck would even qualify as a date on this gross dark meteor
KARKAT: DAVE, CAN WE JUST CUT THE SHIT?
KARKAT: I AM NOT AN IMBECILE. YOU ARE BOTH PLAINLY TIPPING INTO FLUSHED TERRITORY IRRESPECTIVE OF ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS OR WHATEVER LAME CONDITIONS IT IS HUMANS BELIEVE TO BE OPTIMAL FOR PURSUING A MATESPRITSHIP.
KARKAT: ANYONE CAN SEE THAT, IT'S THE SHITTIEST KEPT SECRET ON THIS METEOR. PROBABLY EVEN THE FUCKING MAYOR GETS IT, AND LET'S FACE IT, HE'S A LITTLE SLOW.
KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER THE EYES OF A HARDENED VETERAN OF ROMANTIC STUDIES?
DAVE: we have one of those???
KARKAT: I HAVE SEEN THOUSANDS OF TROLL ROMANCE FILMS, EACH DEALING WITH TOPICS FAR MORE SUBTLE AND COMPLEX THAN YOUR PEDESTRIAN HUMAN MIND COULD EVER GRASP.
KARKAT: AND IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, I'VE ALREADY WATCHED HUNDREDS OF YOUR MORE PRIMITIVE BUT MODERATELY ENTERTAINING ROMANCE FILMS.
KARKAT: REMEMBER HOW I DOWNLOADED A FUCK TON OF THEM AFTER DISCOVERING YOUR SPECIES? I AM A CURIOUS MAN, DAVE, YOU COULD LEARN FROM ME.
DAVE: yeah i remember
DAVE: havent you only watched a bunch of shitty dane cook movies on infinite loop since we left
KARKAT: YOU'RE SEVERELY EXAGGERATING, BUT YES I HAVE SAMPLED HIS WORK.
DAVE: dude
DAVE: you know youre only pretending to be a huge fan of his bullshit to piss me off
KARKAT: AGAIN LOOK AT HOW SELF ABSORBED YOU'RE BEING!!!
KARKAT: I HAPPEN TO THINK HE HAS A BRILLIANT COMEDIC MIND, FOR A HUMAN.
DAVE: hrnngngnngghhhh
DAVE: it turns out that exact sentence is my one weakness
DAVE: you win bro you got your girl back
KARKAT: OH SHUT UP.
KARKAT: I AM NOT HERE TO DEBATE YOU ON THE FINER POINTS OF CINEMA, OR TO "GET MY GIRL BACK."
KARKAT: HOW DESPERATE DO YOU THINK I AM?
KARKAT: I'M ACTUALLY HERE TO DO THE OPPOSITE.
KARKAT: I WANTED TO TELL YOU I'M TOTALLY OK WITH IT.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: ok then
KARKAT: BUT JUST LISTEN, AND TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. I KNOW THAT'S HARD FOR YOU.
KARKAT: HERE, PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
DAVE: oh no
DAVE: what the hot mess of fresh fuck am i looking at
KARKAT: IT'S AN ALTERNIAN ROMANCE NOVEL.
KARKAT: NOW LOOK, I'M NOT VOUCHING FOR THIS PARTICULAR PIECE OF LITERATURE. IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY TRASHY AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED I COULD RECOMMEND MUCH BETTER THINGS TO YOU.
KARKAT: IT'S JUST THIS ONE ILLUSTRATES THE CONCEPT VERY CLEARLY.
DAVE: what...
DAVE: "concept"
KARKAT: IT'S A PRETTY TYPICAL CASE OF QUADRANT VACILLATION AS APPLIED TO AN OVERLAPPING GROUP OF ROMANTIC PAIRINGS.
DAVE: you lost me at quadrant
DAVE: for future reference thats the word that always lets me know its time to check out of a sentence
KARKAT: WILL YOU PIPE DOWN AND JUST HEAR ME OUT.
KARKAT: IT'S REALLY SIMPLE. THINK OF IT AS BEING SIMILAR TO ONE OF YOUR PRIMITIVE HUMAN LOVE TRIANGLES.
KARKAT: THOUGH THIS IS A QUADRANGLE. THOSE ARE MUCH MORE COMMON IN OUR SOCIETY AND ENTERTAINMENT, AND FOUR IS PRETTY MUCH THE MINIMUM VALUE FOR LOVE-HATE N-DRANGLES.
DAVE: n drangles
DAVE: god dammit
KARKAT: NOW HERE IS WHAT'S ACTUALLY GOING ON WITH THIS GROUP OF CHARACTERS. PAY ATTENTION. HEY, LOOK AT ME. EYES OVER HERE. GOOD.
KARKAT: SEE THE TWO HEROES IN THE MIDDLE, PARTAKING IN THEIR FLUSHED EMBRACE? PRETTY MUCH YOUR TYPICAL LOWBLOOD REDROM PAIRING. THEIR DYNAMIC IS THE GRUBLOAF AND TUBER PASTE OF THE OVERALL ARC.
DAVE: .........
KARKAT: BUT WHAT HAVE WE HERE? THERE ARE SOME NEFARIOUS HIGHBLOODS IN THE PICTURE TOO. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING.
KARKAT: THE GUY ON THE LEFT IS AN OLD CALIGINOUS FLAME FROM THE MALE LOWBLOOD'S PAST, AND HAS REENTERED THE PICTURE. AGAIN, NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. HE CAN CONTINUE TO COURT HIS MATESPRIT AND KISMESIS WITHOUT CONFLICT. IT'S A PERFECTLY AMICABLE ARRANGEMENT THAT EVERYONE'S TOTALLY DOWN WITH.
DAVE: what is that huge beefcake troll even doing
DAVE: is he grinding against the little dudes shoulder what is even going on
DAVE: why the fuck is he nude
KARKAT: NO QUESTIONS YET.
KARKAT: SO THEN THAT'S ALL FINE, PRETTY BOILERPLATE CONDITIONS FOR UNFOLDING ROMDRAMA, BUT THERE'S A TWIST.
KARKAT: THE MALE HIGHBLOOD AND LOWBLOOD START TO HAVE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER, AND THIS RESULTS IN SOME RED INFIDELITY BETWEEN THE LOWBLOOD PAIR.
KARKAT: OBVIOUSLY THIS IS WHERE THE FIREWORKS START GOING OFF. THE RED FEELINGS BETWEEN THE LOWBLOODS TURN TO BLACK, AND THUS BEGINS WHAT IS REFERRED TO AS QUADRANT VACILLATION.
KARKAT: MEANWHILE THE TWO MALES ARE ALSO VACILLATING BETWEEN RED AND BLACK, BECAUSE YOU DON'T JUST LET GO OF A RIVALRY SO EASILY.
DAVE: what is going on with the other chick
DAVE: all grabbing at the other one down there in the corner
KARKAT: YEAH, WELL, IT GETS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT, PROBABLY MORE THAN NEEDED FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING THE POINT.
KARKAT: IN THE HEAT OF THEIR VACILLATION, DURING AN ESPECIALLY BLACK PHASE, THE LOWBLOOD FEMALE WAXES RED FOR A NOTORIOUS AND ESPECIALLY BRUTAL HIGHBLOOD FEMALE.
KARKAT: SO THEY HAVE THEIR THING ON THE SIDE, BUT EVEN THAT STARTS VACILLATING TOO BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL PAIR JUST KEEP SPINNING LIKE A TOP.
KARKAT: WE DON'T NEED TO GET BOGGED DOWN IN THE QUADRANGLE DYNAMIC THOUGH, AND FOR OUR PURPOSES THE 4TH PARTY IS A DISTRACTION.
DAVE: our purposes
DAVE: what the fuck are our purposes
KARKAT: THE THING IS, VACILLATION ALWAYS ADDS A LOT OF DRAMA TO EVERYTHING, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN'T BE VIABLE.
KARKAT: IT CAN TOTALLY WORK, AND EVERYONE CAN BE REASONABLE ABOUT IT, IT REALLY JUST COMES DOWN TO A MATTER OF SENSIBLE SCHEDULING.
DAVE: you must be out of your fucking mind if you think i want to know where youre going with this
KARKAT: DAVE, PLEASE.
KARKAT: JUST READ THE BOOK, OK? IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK.
DAVE: im not reading that shit
DAVE: i cant even read your stupid troll language why would you think i can
KARKAT: I THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER. I CAN TRANSLATE FOR YOU. I'LL READ THE WHOLE DAMN THING ALOUD IF YOU WANT.
KARKAT: SERIOUSLY, IT COULD REALLY EXPAND YOUR LIMITED HUMAN THINK PAN ON STUFF.
KARKAT: THERE'S A LOT HERE THAT'S APPLICABLE TO OUR SITUATION.
DAVE: there is nothing even slightly applicable about any of that bullshit to our situation
KARKAT: DON'T BE DENSE. OF COURSE THERE IS.
KARKAT: TEREZI AND I HAVE BEEN ON THE VERGE OF VACILLATING LIKE THIS FOR A LONG TIME.
KARKAT: IT'S ABOUT TIME WE KILLED THE SUSPENSE AND JUST ACKNOWLEDGED IT.
KARKAT: YOU AND SHE SEEM BENT ON DEVELOPING SOMETHING IN THE FLUSHED QUADRANT, AND LIKE I SAID, I'M FINE WITH THAT.
KARKAT: IF WE CAN JUST GET OUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT, WE CAN BE LIKE THESE VACILLATING PAIRS THAT ALTERNATE BETWEEN RED AND BLACK, BUT IN A WAY THAT'S COMPLEMENTARY WITH EACH OTHER'S PATTERNS.
DAVE: oh my god
DAVE: why is this happening
KARKAT: LIKE WHILE SHE AND I ARE BLACK, YOU AND SHE ARE RED.
KARKAT: BUT THEN WHEN SHE AND I ARE RED, YOU AND SHE... I DON'T KNOW IF HUMANS ARE REALLY CAPABLE OF BLACK FEELINGS?
KARKAT: I GUESS THAT'S UP TO YOU. MAYBE YOU CAN JUST LIKE, SIT THOSE PERIODS OUT.
KARKAT: LIKE TAKE A BREAK, YOU KNOW?
DAVE: youve completely lost it dude
DAVE: i cant believe for a fucking second this is reasonable shit to propose even on troll world
DAVE: you just
DAVE: totally snapped
KARKAT: SNAPPED LIKE A FUCKING FOX. THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
KARKAT: LIKE I SAID, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF RESPONSIBLE SCHEDULING.
KARKAT: HERE LET ME SHOW YOU.
KARKAT: I NEED SOME PAPER. WHERE'S SOME PAPER.
DAVE: hnnrrghh
KARKAT: LOOK, IT'S PERFECTLY SIMPLE.
KARKAT: HANG ON WHILE I DRAW THE GUIDELINES.
DAVE: oh no
DAVE: no you are NOT making another shipping grid dude
KARKAT: IT'S NOT A SHIPPING GRID.
KARKAT: JUST SOME ROWS AND COLUMNS FOR A SCHEDULE.
DAVE: its a grid youre drawing a goddamn grid
DAVE: im not letting you draw a grid for this stupid shit
KARKAT: COME ON, LOOK HERE. THESE ARE THE DAYS OF THE WEEK.
KARKAT: THEN WE EACH HAVE ROWS FOR THOSE DAYS AND WE CAN DRAW A HEART OR A SPADE FOR ANY GIVEN DAY.
KARKAT: THAT WAY WE KNOW WHAT'S UP IN ADVANCE, AND AVOID UNPLEASANT CONFLICTS.
DAVE: put the fucking pen down
KARKAT: HEY, CUT IT OUT. DON'T TOUCH ME.
DAVE: do not draw a shipping grid
DAVE: do not do it
KARKAT: IT'S NOT A SHIPPING GRID YOU OBTUSE FUCK.
DAVE: this is fucked up put it down
KARKAT: NO.
DAVE: you are not drawing a grid to organize our goddamn dating lives
DAVE: that is some straight up crackpot motherfuckin noise i will not abide
KARKAT: FUCK YOU. LET ME DRAW.
DAVE: stop drawing the shipping grid
KARKAT: *IT IS NOT A SHIPPING GRID*
KARKAT: THIS IS NOT SHIPPING YOU HEINOUS TOOL, THIS IS COMMON SENSE.
DAVE: you will not draw anything that even remotely resembles a grid
DAVE: do not draw an arrangement of squares or otherwise interlocking polygons
KARKAT: LET GO.
DAVE: you will not draw a spreadsheet for the purpose of allocating time spent with a mutual girlfriend you horses ass
DAVE: that is exactly the shit i do not want to see
KARKAT: LOOK, I JUST DREW A SQUARE.
KARKAT: GET READY TO SEE A LOT MORE OF THOSE!
DAVE: no
DAVE: stop
DAVE: do not draw any additional squares
DAVE: do not draw any quadrilaterals or trapezoids or rectangles or fucking n-drangles and especially as fuck not any god damned rhombuses
DAVE: i dont want to see your lines making any right angles do you understand
KARKAT: IN MY MIND'S EYE I AM PICTURING A BEAUTIFUL LATTICE OF LINES AND COMPARTMENTS, INTERLOCKING WITH SUBLIME PRECISION AT NINETY DEGREE ANGLES.
KARKAT: I IMAGINE THIS MODULAR RETICULATION AS AN ELEGANT VESSEL, IF YOU WILL, FOR THE GRAND SYNTHESIS OF OUR SHARED SHIPPING DREAMS.
DAVE: no
DAVE: that is the perfect example of what you shouldnt be drawing
KARKAT: YES
DAVE: no
KARKAT: FUCK YES
KARKAT: OOH LOOK, ANOTHER SQUARE, SORT OF.
KARKAT: KIND OF WOBBLY! IT'LL HAVE TO DO.
DAVE: no you fuck
KARKAT: WAIT, I THINK IT'S COMING.
KARKAT: HERE IT COMES, MY FIRST "SHIP", IT'S GOING IN THE SQUARE!
DAVE: put the goddamn pen down
DAVE: you piece of shit
KARKAT: HELL NO.
DAVE: yes
KARKAT: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??
KARKAT: OW, FUCK.
DAVE: this is so sick does she even know youre doing this
KARKAT: DOING WHAT??
DAVE: splitting up her time in a grid for your stupid rotating hate date plan
KARKAT: SHE WILL SOON ENOUGH.
DAVE: what a presumptuous sack of shit put the pen down
KARKAT: NO, I'M DRAWING.
DAVE: step away from your dumb ugly scribble grid
KARKAT: GET LOST.
DAVE: youre messing up roses book
KARKAT: YOU SMELL BAD.
DAVE: dont talk to me about rank smells
DAVE: you are the fuckin big man of smellin bad
DAVE: you dominate the paint with your stonk
KARKAT: MY LUSUS BROUGHT THINGS HOME THAT SMELLED MORE APPEALING THAN YOU.
KARKAT: IMPORTANT FACT: 100% OF WHAT HE BROUGHT HOME WAS EITHER A DEAD ANIMAL, OR LITERAL FECES.
DAVE: oh yeah well check it out:
DAVE: you smell like if someone took a dump on a butt
KARKAT: HOW CAN SHE STAND YOU WITH HER SENSITIVE NOSE?
KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN WASHED THAT RIDICULOUS OUTFIT?
DAVE: theyre magic fucking pajamas they stay like perma clean or something
DAVE: theyre enchanted and comfy as fuck give me the pen
KARKAT: NO, IT'S MINE NOW. I'M KEEPING IT ON PRINCIPLE.
DAVE: karkat whoa man what are you doing
DAVE: why are you drawing all these human dicks
DAVE: how do you even know what they look like what have you been watching??
KARKAT: I'M NOT DRAWING THOSE!!!!!!!
KARKAT: YOU'RE MAKING ME DRAW THEM, STOP THAT.
DAVE: no way
DAVE: this book is now like
DAVE: our fight fueled ouija board of cock
KARKAT: ARGH... STOP!
KARKAT: DON'T
KARKAT: NO FUCK
KARKAT: OK NO
KARKAT: YOU DREW THAT ONE
KARKAT: YOU DREW THAT ONE!!!!
KARKAT: DON'T PRETEND YOU DIDN'T!
DAVE: are you sure man
DAVE: thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks
DAVE: was it you or me or maybe a ghoooost???
KARKAT: FUUUUUUUCK LET GO OF ME!
DAVE: gimme the pen
KARKAT: NO
DAVE: yes
KARKAT: NO
DAVE: yes
KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!
DAVE: no
KARKAT: WHAT??
DAVE: were still drawing
KARKAT: LET GO
DAVE: are you kidding this is a fucking masterpiece we have to see this through
KARKAT: I'M TRYING TO LET GO OF THE STUPID PEN BUT YOU WON'T LET ME
DAVE: we are in the shit now
DAVE: we are motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch
KARKAT: YOU CRAZY FUCK
DAVE: were running out of room rose can you turn the page for us
KARKAT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
KARKAT: THIS ALTERCATION IS BECOMING UNCOMFORTABLY PHYSICAL, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
DAVE: what are you talking about
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
DAVE: shut up and draw another penis
KARKAT: YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS OF ALL THIS HOSTILE TOUCHING AND GRABBING DO YOU???
KARKAT: I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU STRIDER, JUST STEP OFF.
DAVE: man if you want to look at this that way then thats your business
DAVE: this is just an old fashioned beatdown where im from deal with it
KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU OLD FASHIONED GO FUCK YOURSELF?
DAVE: stop biting my cape
KARKAT: FUFCK NYOUF.
KARKAT: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!
DAVE: shit!
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youabandonedthem · 2 years
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hey @ottiliere i ilke your dirk au i hope is ok that i put some of my headcanons into it. in my comic slick gets dragged to the psych ward so i thought a crossover where they meet would be awesome.  if you keep reading here is some of my speculation on what they could do together
 in this roommates scenario it is impossible for dirk to really ignore him like he can do with other patients. and if we say in a context where they're not both being tormented/put into comas by seroquel something very interesting can happen .
like even if dirk is rude and irritable and deliberately tries to get him to fuck off tihs is obviously not off putting to slick in the slightest. for multiple reasons. one because hes a rough mobster and thats him but mostly in this scenario he's like "ok fuck it im in the nuthouse for the time being and it's injustified and the people here are gonna be a little quirky but there is a chance they share my situation." the other patients are scared of/used to slick (they know who he is) so they pretty much ignore him if he tries to preach his truth or talk them up. or like i can see some entertaining his need to chat but just saying stuff like "sure Slick.." "yeah..." trying not to encourage his insane thoughts. so he eventually stops bothering/trusting them since they dont get it. the rest he has deemed too actually crazy for his company. e.g. he meets another schizophrenic individual and they have DIFFERENT "beliefs" or they have hallucinations so hes like get away from me psycho. (his diagnosis is FAKE!!!) hes caught on to the fact that the more he talks to the nurses the longer he has to stay. so hes so fucking bored and has had no one to REALLY talk to outside of occasional crew visits for a while now. so once dirk arrives he would take an extreme interest in both him and little cal and try to take him under his wing because hes pretty much just a kid who simply "did not draw the best cards" in slicks eyes. And i think while he's talking at dirk and sharing things such as the BULLSHIT reason hes there... random details about his life...a mutual interest could possibly begin once he learns that this completely schizo ass carapace bug man is a crimelord mafia boss. plus it possibly appeals to him that slick doesnt seem to mind his "mannerisms" . plus slick starts teaching him how to game the nurses so he can get out faster
they can possibly...sort of... bond over self harm although they do it for very different reasons. slick does not care about cutting his skin open to prove a point but essentially he thinks nothing of things like cutting any part of his body open using various tools just to achieve whatever goal he thinks it will solve. he doesnt like pain but doesnt flinch very hard . I think if he sees dirk having successfully found a way to cut his wrists in the room he would watch and htink "this kid is fucked" but not intervene or report besides probably asking him wtf hes doing the first time. if dirk gives him a rude or non - answer he just asks him how hes planning to hide it from the nurses. after that he accepts it and hes like ok sure. (addendum slick just angrily tells him to knock that shit off unless he wants to stay in crazy town for another month. he starts treating it like he treats droog smoking ...knocking the razorblade out of his hands etc. i am not sure at what point hed stop bothering. i think it is a matter that hed BEGIN bothering once he starts thinking dirk needs his help..perhaps in the first/second instance he did not intervene) BUT if he saw dirk slamminghis head on the wall he would be like heey the fuck? whoa whoa whoa thats your brain case kid are you trying to go retarded? he begins feeling responsible. (it is them vs the Nurses and Doctors in this sick sick building) also i think dirk would just do these things in the room once hes assessed that slick (at the bare minimum) wouldnt tell on him. this is after theyre all buddy buddy . Mostly i'm talking about slick's end as to present it with the knowledge i have and not make any DIRK ASSUMPTIONS !
theyowuld possibly even help each other try to escape they could even fucking succeed ...slick would fashion lethal weapons for both of them out of various shit he found/stole and dirk would take one although i dont think he would use it .slick would be showing him stabbing motions using his shank and dirk can teach him his dirk tricks . They would make it together and get to the outside world and never see each other ever again. this is really the circumstance of two completely unrelated characters put in the same cage and forced to work together. but i think it would work
dirk would really be the one trying to tolerate slick for a long time before he warms up to him a little if at all . slick is so fucking lonely that he doesnt care what the fuck dirk does plus hes way older so he has control of the dynamic really. maybe his crude earnesty appeals to dirk but hes also overly aware how insane and delusional slick is but they do form this alliance. i am also thinking they could have some "art" connection which would be honestly kind of cute and funny if dirk is drawing very IRONIC offputting work for a bit and if slick were to be present he would gesture to take his pen andthen casually draw huge boobs/COCK and/or a really shitty caricature of dirk onto the page with emphasis on his huge bleeding wrists and the glasses. I think this would be a defining moment that is literally only ever possible in this context ever . it is a testament to their trapped animal mentality.
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Hypothetical drawing by slick
basically it is like arranged marriage. theywouldnt even give each other the time of day or look at each other more than a few seconds if they were not roommates in crazy town. PLUS slick has been trying to be a good boy unlike dirk so maybe he has more privileges eg pointy objects so he could enable dirk to draw in the first place. or he steals the pen for him. also slick would be stealing dirk extra pudding cups from the cafeteria (he just grabs them off of other peoples trays) upon seeing how horrifically bony he is. hes like: kid youre scrawny as fuck. anyone feed you at home? and i dont think dirk would have any response to this question he would turn away and stop talking to slick.
the topic of interest: their viewpoints of each other and what their relationship could actually be...defined as. there is much to consider here. if this narrative had one ultimate point to display i think that it would be the nature of transient relationships. and this showcases a lot the disparity of their different perspectives. (below) 
>slick's pov. obviously he knows the ways of this world and a good idea of the relations he has and wants to keep unlike dirk. he has nothing hed label as a"friendship" but he has deep connections. let's say his age range translated to human terms is mid - late 30s not for official purposes but like experience/maturity(?) wise. (i debated whether he could be entering his 40s but slick is not that mature really... 40s is like settling down wife n kids. at least this works for this specific instance) obvy he is still a triple digits age chitinous bug creature. ANYWAY... at first dirk is just some kid whos providing him entertainment in this dull schizo jail. but he realises they can help each other out here. (the event that prompts this is probably when dirk tries to fight security and gets bootyjuiced) it's reminiscent of the karkat alliance ...they have a common goal which is gettingthe fuck out without any setbacks. slick possibly had an escape plan (serpentine like his heists) in the midst of hatching prior to dirks arrival but you see he has a 'crew' mentality. the only plan he came up with is missing a vital second person to help carry it out. (or he had a really shitass solo plan with a small chance of working out that he was going to try if he got DESPERATE. the key thing is he wouldn't want to do anything he thinks wouldnt work because again he specialises in heists which NEED to go well with everything accounted for. but he was honestly on the verge of trying it...until dirk came along and changed his life)
but like hes still not exactly 'using' dirk he does connect and see value in him as a companion due to all the aforementioned scenarios and this is why he chooses him as the worthy candidate for his PLAN. this is what causes him to feel that 'responsibility' for him i would think. not through any kind of paternal instinct but the same obligation that caused him to try to comfort karkat that one time when he was crying (and then start slapping the shit out of him). i mean i dont want to call it paternal...but he realises that he is THE adult in this situation and the only one 'in charge' of this kid in a way. also hes uncomfortable with displays of emotion/mental illness so if his most basic awkward attempt to fix it doesn't work he just starts using force (as displayed in the karkat example). this would encapsulate his reaction towards dirk self harming. ok the point is he sees it like this: they are together to help each other. and then it's a done deal. then they'll both fuck off to their 'normal lives' he figures. if he ever saw him agian of course hed be like oh its that kid. fuck was his name...Dick? but that's really it for slick. nothing deeper. now DIRK ON THE OTHER HAND... 
>DIRK MODE. it is not really that he 'hates' people and people hate him there is more like an absence of meaningful connection. or connection altogether. his friend is a doll . if this is the first time in 20ish years anyone has actually shown they respect him as an equal this encounter is going to impact him for the rest of his life. and not only would he likely use slicks treatment of him as his baseline for future possible relations but he would also become sort of obsessed with him after this whole thing is done.he has literally no one else. like maybe he doesnt even realise it at first until theyve parted ways and he goes back to wherever he lives and hejust sits there with little cal and little cal does not talk back to him. and it hits him. it's like the dark gritty version of the hero's journey..he went to the other world and was given a tool towards realisation. and now hes just back in his shit reality . but it is important that obviously this singular encounter cannot undo anything he learned over 20+ years. but he got a taste of something novel that he thought only existed for other people.(?) or was played up for fiction even . but it was real. he knows slick was crazy and did awful heinous crimes for fun. but he was nice(?) to him and helped him and wanted to be around him . there is really nothing that will be able to change his mind about this.
hegoes through life that is identical to what he had before the psych ward and whoever he encounters treats him the same uncaring way as they did before (or potentially worse/with more pity or judgment if theyre aware of his stay) and this time he thinks about how slick didnt judge him for anything and actually cared about him . he did not stare at his arms with fear/pity like other ppl do. everything what slick did for him gets played up in his mind. the brand of pudding he stole for him sticks out at the store. he sees unabashed schizo shit online and it reminds him of slicks occasional rants. he sees criminal activity reported in the paper and wonders if it was slick's crew (he mentioned the existence of his crew...Or imagine if it was visiting time and slick brought dirk along to meet them at one point...this cna be expanded on) 
i feel like this may help lead him into a dangerous situation in the future depending on how it develops. ok another important factor is slick's age relative to him. dirk possibly hypothesises that slick is around the age of mister dave.(this can mean something if you want it to) PLUS any other actual adults who were in his life (teachers..dave...anyone else) just treat him completely like a child. this could result in something interesting..the way that slick regarded him as an equal (at least in dirks perception) and was way older. i think whatever he takes away from this will fuck him over.
additionally i think it is possible he couldget desperate again for what the psych ward symbolised for him and he pulls a supremely bad suicide attempt that is guaranteed to fail for literal attention. he gets warded again but of course slick isnt there and hes just alone there like in original dirk psychward context. except this time he completely feels the emptiness. and hhis radical attempt try to attain it again just didnt work.
but i also think a second chance encounter years after this incident would truly highlight the differences in their mentalities . based on my dirk knowledge  i think he would not try to show any feelings and regard slick very casually even though his mind would be on the verge of collapse . a lot would depend on the span of time and what happened in between ofcourse and if he was given the opportunity to meet...anyone else... or develop any more social skills at all. additionally i think what your expertise would know the answer to is if he would try to seek out slick deliberately and to what degree. also if the second meeting happened and it was shitty i think hed just go kill himself. like hed buy a gun so it would work this time. it is also up to your discretion how dirk thinks slick remembers him in a direct selfaware comparison to how he regards slick. maybe he would be realistic/self deprecating about it i mean it would make sense because nobody else truly values him and he probably figures that this extends to even his psych ward saviour.
So ya idk just some thoughts let me know wat you think
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merenwenformulauno · 4 months
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that shoe post is ripping masks clean OFF around here. bc hundreds of people are explaining WHY we CANNOT take our shoes off and the ABLEISM. Bc it is one thing to say 'i'll give you slippers, bring YOUR slippers, just don't come to my house i'll come to yours i'm sorry' But the tags my god. Acting as if people are terrible people for *checks notes* not wanting to get hurt/having sensory issues/pain issues/health conditions/other disabilities. if you open your home to me, then you open it to all of me. i don't know your slippers. they could give me blisters and that is another amuputation risks. i know my shoes, my slippers, my body.
Bc us people impacted, we can tell when you're joking and we can tell when you're deadly serious. But if your floor is more importan than your friends then wow I guess you will soon lose friends.
diabetics are 15 to 20 times more likely to have a limb amputated. diabetes is noted as a leading cause of amputation. the ramifications of that amputation are life changing and sometimes, deadly. like, you can offer me all these 'but i will' things and it still comes down to, i am disabled. i cannot be sure. i cannot risk it. i have friends who will read this and have had me in their house and will probably be like 'what' but the level of trust i have in them to take my shoes off. bc i have taken my slippers across borders to protect my feet. then been like no, @bioluminescently-unfolding is safe. socks are ok. i hate shoes btw. i suffer wearing them until i can be sure it is safe to take them off. i'll clean my shoes. if a make shit dirty i'll help clean. but for the love of everything, let me protect my feet. let it be my decision. don't guilt people into being unsafe. especially when it cannot legally be 0 or 100. people enter homes to do jobs where legally their feet must be protected. so your capret is going to involve itself with shoes either way. this disease is already trying to kill me on the daily. and if you read this as someone who is all 'no shoes ever' and think 'oh but in X instance...' inspect that. inspect that deeply. bc no one, EVER, should have to disclose their medical conditions or the state of their mental health over a fucking floor. 'i'm sorry, i'd prefer to keep them on' is something to be respected. sure, ask but once you start this sort of behaviour, be aware you have created a hostile environment for many people for many reasons. some are going to leave your house and break down completely because you couldn't handle their brand new sketchers for ten minutes. and that isn't on them, it is on you. but you know, your precious carpet. i hope this opens some minds. and if i sound angry it is because yeah, i am.
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alleecatblues · 1 year
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So the new trailer for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse just came out, and because I'm a fucking enormous nerd who loves Spider-Man, I'm going to go through that big zooming shot with all the Spider-People and try to figure out where they're all from. If I can't figure it out and you have a better guess, let me know and we can figure it out together.
Even blown up on my 75 inch monitor, these first ones are hard to see, especially because of internet video compression, but I can kind of make out the color scheme of a suit that a version of Spider-Man who was in the Avengers wore. He was just called The Spider and he was kind of an asshole.
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Some of these I can't find anything about even though they're pretty distinctive. I might have to go back and read through my Spider-Verse comics to see if any of them made appearances there. For instance, this guy in the red with the glowing blue chest symbol:
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The one facing the camera could be a 2099 suit variant but the last one has basically no visible distinguishing features so it's impossible to tell. I also have no idea who this purple guy is. Could be a design based off the Prowler, especially ItSV's version of the Prowler.
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The guy he's talking to though appears to be wearing Spider-Man's classic comic book suit. This one seems even closer to the original design than Peter B's suit, which is based off the more modern comic redesigns. This is the OG.
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Again, I can't figure out who the big guy is here but the other one might be Ben Reilly:
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Specifically Ben Reilly wearing an advanced suit given to him by the Beyond Corporation, which isn't really a corporation per se, more a collection of entities that exist between universes and decided to start multiversal capitalism. Based on the weird extradimensional corporate aesthetics of the film, Beyond Corporation or at least the Beyonders might have something to do with the plot of Across the Spider-Verse.
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There's Insomniac Spider-Man chatting it up with Superior Spider-Man, who was Otto Octavius's mind in the body of Peter Parker. Not an alternate universe character, by the way. This happened in the main comic series. Spider-Man was just being possessed by Doc Ock for a while.
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Here's the Mk II Armor suit hanging out with another guy I can't place. Spider-Man's Mk II armor was created by Horizon Labs to help Peter out when he lost his Spider-Sense for a little while. If you can't dodge bullets anymore, might as well get a bulletproof suit.
There are three others on this bridge I can't place. They all look to be women, and they've got color schemes that have been on Spider-Man suits before, but in different patterns, so I'm a little stumped. I imagine not all of these are going to be references, and some are just created from wholecloth, but if you can figure it out, let me know!
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This is probably Mary Jane and Mayday Parker, although I'm not familiar with the suits. Mary Jane has gotten spider powers in a few universes, and when Peter and MJ have a daughter in most universes, her name is Mayday, and she usually has spider powers.
Which is a lot better than that one universe where MJ got cancer and died because Peter had radioactive cum. I'm not kidding, that's a real thing that happened in an official comic series.
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The red and white is another Scarlet Spider variant suit. Not sure about the red and yellow next to him.
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This one with the clockwork arms is Lady Spider. She appeared a few times in the latest Spider-Verse event and comes from a cool steampunk universe. She has no powers, just her spider arms and web shooters, and is technically an alternate universe version of Aunt May.
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This guy looks... naked??
It could be Savage Spider-Man? Or Kraven the Hunter Spider? But it looks like he's not wearing pants, so it might just be a weird skin-toned suit. I dunno.
Anyway here's Spider-Clan from the Spider-Man manga dabbing
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This guy's pretty prominent. I think he's supposed to be a reference but I'm not sure to what. It could be Spider-Cop, but he's missing his hat, sunglasses and mustache.
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This might be the original Iron Spider suit from the comics. Tony Stark made it for him after he came back from being dead for the, like, 3rd time.
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This looks like Miles Morales's PS4 costume, but it swings by pretty fast, so it's hard to make out much detail.
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Bombastic Bag Man! This is a little different to his appearance in the comics, but there have been a couple times Peter needed a spare suit on short notice and had to borrow one from the Fantastic Four. Their suits don't have masks, though, so he wore a bag on his head instead.
The first iteration also had a "Kick Me!" sign on the back, because the Human Torch thought it would be funny.
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Here's werewolf Spider-Man in the back. During a crossover event, Ash from the Evil Dead comics ended up going to a few different universes, one of which started the Marvel Zombies series (which is actually a pretty good series). Another one he went to had a bunch of superheroes turning into werewolves, and Spider-Man was one of them.
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This looks like a suit Spider-Man wore when he was part of the Future Foundation; a version of the Fantastic Four that formed when the Human Torch died.
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This looks similar to Spider-Punk. He's got the jacket and the pants, but instead of his mohawk spikes, he's got some kind of camo baseball cap or something, and what looks like a face mask of some sort.
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In this shot, Miles is fighting with the Mk I armor and something similar to the Mk III armor, although it's definitely different. The lady with six arms is a mystery to me.
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Yo, is that Jessica Drew Spider-Woman? Jess Drew gets overlooked a lot despite being the first Spider-Woman. I hope she gets some kind of role in this movie.
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Spider-Monkey is from the Marvel Apes universe. Yeah, there's a Marvel Apes universe.
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I'm getting tired but I remember this one from somewhere. A cartoon maybe? I think I remember seeing a Spider-Man suit with a cape as a kid and thinking it was dumb because Spider-Man doesn't wear a cape.
Anyway that's all I could find aside from the main characters. Again, if you can track down any other references let me know. I'm too much of a nerd to let this go.
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okay, fuck it. I made this post while ago and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it. i am going to be coherent in any way? Not really, some of them feel very deliberate, while some of them dont make much sense to me, maybe im reaching with this but what fun is in being normal about a show??? also i poses no brain cells so dont expect some deep shit from me (expect some shitty screenshot tho)
So we start with this:
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"monster" hanging above the city, nice neutral backround as we just got introduced to the story and the characters, we have very little information overall but it hangs above menacingly ready to land on our first candidate.
We find our first monster (expectedly) in Lee Dongsik
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Epiodes 2,3 and 4 greet us with these (very pretty) title cards and of course its Lee Dongsik. Playing the role of monster for us and also for Han Juwon (and rest of manyang) is essential to his character and the story. He was the one the say "If you want to get the monster, you should become one." On subsequent rewatch these feel somehow flippant, like a part of the play he keeps up. He welcomes the label, he often meets it head on like he is aware it's there. They also feel very different to another title card we get with Dongsik.
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Episode 7 flashes the title across Dongsik with the sound of gunshot, and it feels very accusatory, like the show itself pointing it's finger at him "see? he is a monster after all, look at what he does." This isn't part of the play, this is just him exposed and vulnerable. Then we get the scene where he smashes that guys head on the pavement. This is also last time he is branded as such.
As we go further along and we uncover (at least partial) truth we get another monster branded.
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Episode 6 gives us this duh! kinda moment you can see from miles away but nonetheless its very satisfing to see it. True monster is finally exposed and identified. But then we get episode 8 and it kinda boggles my mind.
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Feeling like for sure i have been thinking too much into the whole thing, because this doesnt make much sense. Han Juwon is next to be marked as a monster as he's leaving right after arresting Kang Jin Mook. Looking back at Dongsik who is kneeling in front of body of Kang Min Jung quoting his earlier words "No one is going to die from today." And maybe this is a brand he puts on himself, maybe he thinks of Lee Geum Hwa and maybe he thinks about how he treated Dongsik, maybe its a reminder for the audience that he is not without fault here.
Nontheless the killer is found, the case is closed, we can start with a clean slate:
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Title card for episode 9 and 11 is the same and they kinda represent the lull in the investigation, no new leads, no new characters to be accused, starting from zero so to say. What's interesting to me that in between these, in episode 8 we get this:
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This is actually my favourite, it feels like a callback to the whole "if you want to catch a monster you have to become one". Han Juwon just had THAT conversation with Kwon Hyeok about how he, a sheltered boy can never catch Lee Dongsik. His response - "i have to be reborn". I have to become someone like him, i have to play by his rules.
Episodes 12, 13 and 16 are pretty straigtforward, as we learn more, we get more suspects. I really like that mother of Park Jung Je is in that frame with him, holding him. That last episode really driving it home for me that these have meaning.
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on the other hand there are episodes 14 and 15. Mother of Han Juwon being dragged away, Han Kihwan saying "now our lives will be perfect" and little Han Juwon standing on the balcony watching the whole thing.
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and again Han Juwon walking away after listening to the whole confession of his father, what he is capable of sacrificing for perfection, what he already destroyed in his pursuit of perfection.
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If i had to reach and i probably was this whole time, i think that in every instance Han Juwon puts that label on himself. Eveytime we see that word flash across him he bears it with guilt. It feels like his internal struggle with things he considers he did wrong made visible. He never bears it like other characters, its thing of shame and sin. He never meets it head on, even in that instance when he wants to be reborn, because thats just not who he is. He can never use it as just a label that can have its own uses, not like Lee Dongsik did.
Also i really like that in case of Han Kihwan, Lee Chang Jin and Kang Jin Mook, our "true" monsters, just as they are branded we get to look them in the eyes. It feels very matter of fact, they know it and they dont care. There is no regret, no remorse. (In the very begging Lee Dongsik also looks us in the eyes, he bacame what he had to, to do what he has to.)
Overall, its interesting how the show uses it, its like this multipurpose tool for the characters, the show itself and the audience.
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cornertheculprit · 1 year
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man the games really never explore how traumatising that must've been for Phoenix (and maya). Like there aren't many instances I can think of where someone very close to the victim actually sees the body while they're still warm (closest I can think is athena? But I'm probably forgetting some). Like at that time in his life Phoenix had no one in his corner but Mia (and Larry? Kinda) And then she was just gone. And he saw her body!! Mia left the village and was probably also the only person Maya had that was looking out for her, bc Morgan definitely wasn't. and i think it's never really shown how traumatising that would've been for both of them. I never really see it in fanworks either? mia was his mentor and her big sister. she was someone who looked after them both... for a moment when she was gone they had nobody until they had each other. Augh
SERIOUSLY like okay one of the first things we really learn about maya is that literally everyone in her immediate family had gone and left her behind:
Phoenix: What about your family?
Maya: I only had my sister. My father died when I was very young. And I don't know where my mother is.
Phoenix: (Don't know...? So she could still be alive?)
[...]
Maya: About fifteen years ago, our family was involved in an... incident. There was a man, and he... he... He ruined our mother's life.
Phoenix: ("Ruined"...?)
Maya: After that, she disappeared. Several years after that, my sister announced she would "become a lawyer" and she left the mountain.
Phoenix: ... So, you live by yourself?
Maya: Yes. I've gotten used to it. Oh, also... I had to become independent, or I would lose my E.S.P.!
Phoenix: (I feel bad for her, all by herself up on that mountain...)
and of course as we know from justice for all, morgan is...morgan. and pearl is just a little kid, and morgan seems to do her damndest to keep her separate from anyone and anything so that pearl will listen to her and only her. mia really WAS the only one truly looking out for maya in any way, shape or form, even if she'd left her behind as well (at least she kept in contact! and maya canonically went down to the city to visit her sometimes. it's better than being wholly abandoned, at the very least). and phoenix!!!! it's mentioned in turnabout memories that phoenix does have friends in college (plural) but when we get to aa1 it really doesn't seem like he has any friends other than larry, who is...larry. and who phoenix seems to grow extremely discontent with following the events of turnabout goodbyes to the point where he seems to barely be able to tolerate him in aa3. and there could be many for reasons for phoenix's seemingly giant drop in friends, one being that he got accused of murder and rumors can be the death of anyone's social standing in a school environment and another being that he was studying LAW and had no fucking time for social connections other than one flaky friend who dropped in and out of his life seemingly at whim. or both! or neither! who knows!
but you're so right is the thing! the picture that is painted at the beginning of aa1 is that mia really was the only person in maya and phoenix's corner at that time and for that time frame between them discovering mia's body and phoenix promising maya he wouldn't abandon her they literally had no one else. they walked in on mia's body practically moments after her death and for a second there they were both truly alone. and mia was close enough to the both of them that she realized that and so she leaves maya a note that says: "take care of phoenix for me." and then down the line she looks at phoenix and asks him "...watch over her, will you, phoenix?" and phoenix says "of course." like it's not even a question. of course he'll look after her.
and the thing about aa3 is!! it doesn't explicitly have phoenix start saying things like "i blame myself for not getting there in time to save mia" because...it has godot to do that for him. godot IS very much phoenix's narrative foil and it sort of becomes really really really clear that phoenix...DOES blame himself for not getting there in time. because whenever godot throws those accusations at him:
Godot: It was two years ago... Mia Fey was pursuing someone. A man. But she bit off more than she could chew. She made a very dangerous enemy.
Phoenix: (Yeah, that's one case I'll never forget.) But... I got that guy! Personally!
Godot: Sure. Ms. Fey's murderer was caught. But that won't bring her back!
Phoenix: W-Well, no... but...
Godot: You were with her at the time. You and no one else. It was your responsibility! You should have protected her!
Phoenix: I...!
Godot: You say Mia Fey was your teacher! Well then, I'd say you've learned nothing, Trite! You robbed her of her life. And now... ...you've let her sister suffer the same fate!
Phoenix: (I... I haven't sentenced Maya to death...! No...!)
[...]
Godot: You were the only one who was there to protect her! But you let her die. It was all your fault.
Phoenix: I... It wasn't like that...
phoenix's rebuttals? are half-hearted at best. he tries (VERY weakly) to insist that at least he got redd white in the end, but the minute godot puts on the pressure phoenix is at a complete loss for words. he's BARELY denying it. he's trailing off the minute he tries. and i think the fact that he's doing that combined with the fact that godot is literally MEANT to be phoenix's narrative foil is pretty much proof that this is something that phoenix has actually thought to himself ever since mia died. he sat with her body until she went cold!!!! the idea that he wouldn't connect the dots and realize that if he'd just gotten to the office a little bit sooner maybe mia would still be alive is laughable.
but let's back up for a minute and talk about maya. let's rewind all the way back to turnabout goodbyes, when maya seemingly hit the lowest point she ever had in the games:
Maya: The letter! Did he take it?
Phoenix: Huh!? Oh... yeah. A-are you okay!?
Maya: ... I... I couldn't stop him. I jumped as fast as I could, but one shot from that thing knocked me out cold. I'm useless. I'm no good as a lawyer, or a medium! I can't even call my sister. Not even now, when we need her the most. I wish I hadn't woken up at all.
Phoenix: Maya!
maya spends the ENTIRETY of turnabout goodbyes wanting to be useful to phoenix in some way and getting so legitimately upset at the fact that everything she tries to do seems to go wrong. the conversation phoenix has with her and larry (where he tells her that he believes in larry and edgeworth over her, because this is aa1 and at this point phoenix is being driven by his idealizations and memories of the class trial) doesn't help matters, either. and at first you kind of wonder WHY it is that maya is trying so hard to be useful to phoenix, WHY she's taking it so hard that she can't fully help this guy who may be her new friend but is still someone she only met fairly recently, until you remember mia's letter: "take care of phoenix for me." that was what mia wrote to her, and in her eyes she's failing at the last request her sister ever asked of her. and maya arrived FIRST on the scene to find mia's body, is the thing. SHE would've found mia's still-warm corpse and realized that if SHE had been any earlier, maybe SHE could've done something to stop mia's murder. and now she seemingly can't even fulfill the last thing mia asked her to do. she straight up says she wishes she was dead. it's heartbreaking!
i've gone off on a whole tangent but i think my point is that while the games don't explore phoenix and maya's innermost thoughts about the traumatic experience of walking in on the body of someone you loved, there do seem to be nods to it that at least acknowledge that phoenix and maya DO have issues pertaining to it. but they also acknowledge that even if mia is gone, maya and phoenix have each other and will ALWAYS have each other ("you know i would never desert you!"/"you're one of us, nick!") and even if mia's death drags them down sometimes, having each other helps. they're looking after each other just like mia asked them to, but they're also looking after each other because they've grown to love each other over the course of the trilogy and have started to treat each other like the family they never had—no matter what comes their way, of course they have each other. of course maya will take care of phoenix. of course phoenix will watch over maya. of course. of course!
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