#i think i may have outdone myself

[tgcg]

ill break your shit adam

warning for adult lang

fuck you adam sandler

youre lucky karkat likes you

stupid fuck sees an amnesiac girl

and asks her can i marry you

that lady got issues mentally

you still down to do shit anally

deplorable zit on the ass of romanza

karkat told me to put that shit in this stanza

do raps even count as having stanzas

slam poetry tyke at preschool im no manza

youd probably jack it to a log with holes if they were wet ones

sitting on that stupid dock with her papa cracking cold ones

piece of shit id push you off that dock and watch you bubbling

kick your ass like her shitty bro failed when you were troubling

penguins dont quack like fucking ducks you dumbass

thats not part of the rap i just think that youre a dumbass

back to the rap sandler i bet you couldnt drop a single bar

too busy picking up stupid women at the stupid women bar

who even let you into hawaii

also did i say karkat liked you i was kidding he wants to kick your heinie

seriously watching that shit again made him start slamming his head into the cushions and screaming i had to pry them out his hands and he almost bit me

sorry i forgot i was rapping again

piece of shit forgot that you can like women while dating other men

still not over that chuck and larry shit adam

if you just said to the gov you were bi you coulda had em

firefighter of the year? well try putting out this heat

karkats gonna beat your ass like you do every night to your meat

gotta ask is this shit wish fulfilment for you

gotta say larry deserved better than you

i could treat him way better than you not in a gay way though

i just mean youre a massive sleaze basically the worlds shittiest bro

back to 50 first dates man sandler your shit is a bore

the stupid bits with schneider got my ass addicted to snore

if i was that stupid walrus id tear your ass to shreds

if i was that penguin i would also tear your ass to shreds

itd be harder but id still do it

bro fuck adam sandler im through it

===

TT: Wow. Bravo, Dave. You've outdone yourself.

TG: i wrote this one exceptionally fucking terrible to represent my inner darkness

TG: i can never unwatch those cinematic fossilized turds theyre like time capsules devoted to everything wrong with america

TG: you dont even understand how egregious that was

TT: I can sense the utter malaise and contempt in every word. It's beautiful.

TT: One particularly interesting point I'd like to make is the fact that you managed to refer to butts in a song about a male target, 10 times in the span of 37 lines. It's not an exorbitant amount, but it appears to be a running theme in your works. Very interesting, if you ask me --

TG: nooooo

TG: nope no

TG: not this shit again

TG: listen one of them is karkats fault

===

CG: ROSE, YOU JUST DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S DOING HERE AT ALL.

TT: No? Please, enlighten me Karkat.

CG: GLADLY.

CG: HE STARTS OUT WITH THE FRIGGIN WORD "ANAL" PRECEDING ALL OF THE OTHER MENTIONS, OF COURSE IT'S ON PURPOSE. IT INSTILLS THAT IMAGERY IN YOUR NUGBONE THROUGHOUT THE TRACK.

CG: AND YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED A RECURRING USE OF THE WORD "SHIT", IN TANDEM. BOG-STANDARD FOR DAVE, RIGHT? NO! IT'S PART OF THE EFFECT!

CG: MY THESIS: ADAM SANDLER MOVIES ARE PIECES OF ABSOLUTE SHIT AND THE REFERENCES TO WORDS LIKE "LOG" AND "SHIT" AND "ASS" ARE TO INVOKE THE SENSE OF TAKING A MASSIVE DUMP THROUGHOUT THE SPAN OF THE RAP, WHICH BY ALL MEANS WOULD BE AN EQUAL OR GREATER USE OF YOUR TIME THAN WATCHING THOSE MOVIES.

CG: RIGHT, DAVE?

TG: … yeah

TT: Okay, I'm willing to concede to that. On this subject matter, as an avid terrible movie enjoyer, you admittedly know better than myself.

CG: SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

TT: And you love them anyways.

CG: YEAH.

TG: hes right

TG: you hear that shit hes right

TG: fuck death of the author im verifying that interpretation

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #rose lalonde #homestuck #made with instrumentals of ether by nas in mind #posting early bc im impatient #comix

[svltzmans]

take care - f.g.

a/n: i'm so grateful for these fiona requests, thank you so much! writing for her is comforting for me ❤️‍🩹 i promise i'll get back to writing for other characters soon though!

warnings: reader is sick (but it all turns out fine!), very fluffy of course (not proofread though)

when y/n wakes up in a cold sweat, she can tell something is terribly wrong.

each swallow feels like a mouthful of glass, breathing through her nose is impossible, and her body feels like it's engulfed in invisible flames.

forcing herself to turn to read the clock, she sees that it's still the middle of the night. 2:30 a.m., to be exact.

how could she have gone to bed a few hours ago feeling completely fine?

y/n's first instinct is to grab her phone and text the only person she knows who may be awake at this hour. solitude isn't exactly her favorite, especially when she's sick. she could use someone to chat with.

are you awake?

she clicks send, rolling back over onto her pillow. she's exhausted, yet sleep seems impossible. before she can even think about trying to fall back asleep, her phone dings.

what's going on? it's late baby.

her girlfriend, fiona, is usually quite the night owl. she spends most of her days catering to other people, including her siblings, so her evenings are the time she reserves for herself.

is it healthy? probably not. fiona finds time to sleep at some point in her busy life, and y/n tries not to think about it too much to avoid the inevitable worry she would feel.

i think i have the flu or something.

fiona writes back almost immediately.

i'm coming over.

y/n forces herself to sit up, realizing that her girlfriend is probably being serious.

fi, it's the middle of the night.

go to sleep and you can come in the morning.

hello?

y/n knows it's no use, and she's proven correct when she hears a light knock on the door.

when she opens it, fiona is standing in the hall with several cans of soup, an entirely-too-big box of medicine, and a 12-pack of sports drinks.

"you're out of your mind," y/n laughs, voice scratchy.

"i am not, my girl is sick and i'm taking care of her."

"what about the kids?" y/n feels concerned realizing the rest of the gallaghers are alone in the house.

"they're asleep, first of all," fiona laughs. "but i asked v to make sure everything is fine. she's awake too, believe it or not."

"where did all this stuff even come from?"

"24 hour stores are a thing, you know. any further questions?" fiona laughs at her own sarcasm before grabbing hold of y/n's hand.

"c'mon, you're getting back in bed."

"i'm awake now, though."

"not for long, pretty girl," fiona replies.

before she knows it, y/n is in fiona's arms, being carried bridal style to her bedroom.

fiona sets y/n on the bed gently, pulling the covers over her.

"aren't you gonna get in too?"

"well duh, i didn't come here for nothing. but i'm going to get you medicine first."

when fiona returns, she's carrying a bowl of soup, along with the medicine she promised and a glass of water.

"i thought you were just getting me medicine," y/n teases, seeing that fiona had outdone herself.

"you know i can't help myself. now, take this and eat your soup."

fiona sits next to y/n in her bed, pushing her hair behind her ears and planting a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"jesus, you're burning up. my poor girl," fiona coos, wrapping her arms around y/n.

"fi, i'm gonna spill the soup."

fiona pulls away, forgetting that y/n's hands were very much occupied with a hot bowl.

she can't help but giggle as y/n drinks some of the broth before putting the bowl on her bedside table and returning fiona's hug.

"can we watch a movie?" y/n asks, even though she already knows the answer.

"you have to pick it though, you know i'm indecisive," fiona responds before leaning in to kiss y/n.

"fi! you're gonna get sick!"

"i don't care and you know it. wanna kiss my girl."

melting at fiona's words, y/n allows fiona to kiss her, feeling her body heat up and knowing it isn't because of her fever.

when y/n and fiona finally separate, y/n turns on her television, resting her head on fiona's shoulder.

"lay down, silly," fiona insists, letting y/n rest her head on her chest.

"can we watch that musical? the one about the wedding on the island or whatever?"

"babe, we watched 'mamma mia' last time i was here."

"i'm sick, you can't say no to me."

"i can't say no to you ever. i'll put it on, you rest."

20 minutes into the film, y/n had already fallen asleep, her head still rested on fiona.

fiona smiles to herself, admiring her sleeping girlfriend. it isn't long before she falls asleep herself, arms around y/n.

y/n wakes up the next day to find that it's already after noon, and that she's actually starting to feel better.

her nose had cleared significantly, and although her throat was still sore, she considered it a win.

finally standing up and walking to the kitchen, she's surprised to see fiona hovering over the stove, evidently cooking.

"good morning, sleepyhead. how you feelin'?" upon closer inspection, y/n sees that fiona is cooking pancakes.

"better, actually. i can't believe you left me in bed alone, though," y/n teases, wrapping her arms around fiona's waist from behind.

"only to make you breakfast, my love. or lunch, seeing as you slept until 12:30."

"i forgive you, but only because the food smells good."

"oh, just be quiet and eat your pancakes."

#fiona gallagher x fem! reader #fiona gallagher #fiona gallagher drabble #fiona gallagher x reader #fiona gallagher fic #fiona gallagher x fem reader #shameless x reader #shameless #shameless fic

[quicktosimp]

Make it Fit

Kinktober Day 14

Aonung/Human!Reader

Warnings: 69, Cunnilingus, Oral Stimulation, Handjobs, p in v sex, Alien Biology, Feral Aonung, Size Kink

Thank @pandoraslxna for all your hard work this month 💖

“This is your bright idea?” I ask snappishly.

“It’s a good idea! Why do you doubt me?” Aonung pouted. 

“Because you are three and a half feet taller than me, and I don’t think we’ll be able to reach in that position.” I deadpan. 

Aonung wraps his arms around me, “So what? I may have a stiff neck afterward, but it’s worth it! To eat you while you pleasure me is a dream of mine.” Nuzzling my naked breasts.

I lean my head back, enjoying his attention, “For this to work, you will have to be bent over nearly in half.” I explain, not really against it.

“If that makes it work, then I will gladly do so!” Aonung exclaimed, his tail waving in glee. 

“Okay, let-” 

Aonung cuts me off by picking me up and rushing to our sleep mat. Like the old stories, Norm would tell me of kids on Christmas.

I giggle at his antics, “Nung!” His name gleefully escapes my mouth.

As Aonung lays me down on our mat, his face is beautiful; you would think I gave him the whole world based on the smile on his face. Aonung cages me under his body, strong from free diving all day. In one hand, Aonung holds my head before kissing me soundly. His passion and glee infect me, as I cannot stop myself from sliming into our kiss. Our teeth bump into each other as neither of us can stop smiling and giggling into each other's mouths.

Aonung parts leaning up, “Which do you want, top or bottom?” 

I take a moment to think, “Probably bottom, might be easier on you.”

“Okay Sumtsyìp,” Aonung kisses me one last time before he moves, turning himself around.

It’s pretty comical. Aonung’s giant hulking form scrunched up. Almost similar to a cat hissing, his back arched in the air, trying to angle himself so his slit is next to my face and mine to his.

“Baby, you look really uncomfortable,” I explained, failing to stifle my giggles.

“Worth it,” he grunts.

My giggles didn’t cease, finding Aonung’s determination adorable as he wiggled, trying to get comfortable in such an awkward position.

That is until he groans as he sniffs me, rubbing his scent glands on my thighs. I looked up at his slit, surprised to see that he was already parting. The light teal stripe opened into a deeper blue of his inner flesh. I didn’t give Aonung any warning. I grasped his thighs and licked the stripe from top to bottom.

“Oh fuck, Sumtsyìp, you’re not playing today, hmmm?” Aonung moaned.

Not one to be outdone, he licks my cunt, from my clit to hole, wiggling around trying to get in. I moan into his slit, loving the feeling of his long tongue against my cunt. I poke my tongue inside his slit, wanting more of Aonung’s taste. Sea salt and something that is purely Aonung. I always crave it once I get my first taste of it. I can never have enough of it, so I dig inside, forcing his slit to part for me. 

“Fuck! Easy Sumtsyìp, I won't take it away from you, just let it- Oh fuck!” Aonung shouts. 

I dig my tongue in deeper, forcing it open with my thumbs, giving me complete access to his open slit as his cock falls out faster than it usually would have. 

“Sumtsyìp, it’s too early. My cock isn’t ready to be out yet. It’s too sensitive. Fuck!” As his hips bucked uselessly in the air. 

His cock is long and thick, covered in the typical na’vi spines. It was a light blue, similar to the color of his slit, while the tip was a lavender color. I lick the tip, not taking anymore into my mouth, while my hands wrap around his cock, giving attention to his spines. 

I could feel Aonung pant between my thighs before he remembered what he was doing. His face descended onto my pussy, and nipped my clit. I give a small shriek as I arch my hips towards him. Now it was Aonung’s turn to chuckle. As he delved his tongue into my cunt. Before leaving and licking a strip from top to bottom and fucking his tongue inside again.

I moan around the tip of his dick, as I mouth at the spines, not letting them far into my mouth, I do not need to get stuck again. As I mouth at the spines, my hand travels down to his slit and inside, playing with the base of Aonung’s cock. Touching the base caused Aonung to thrust into my face, overriding his thoughts with only the need to breed. 

To breed he knows he needs to open his mate, in addition to his tongue a finger soon joined inside my cunt, stretching me open with a delicious burn.

“Aonung! More!” I demand as I push another finger into his slit.

The only thing that came from Aonung was a growl, too far to understand basic words. He nipped at my folds before inserting another finger. The burning pain doubled, nearly overwhelming the pleasure, as he thrust his fingers in and out. This was all I could take for his fingers as the finned picky would never fit. So Aonung makes sure to speed his fingers as wide as possible, thrusting them at an inhuman pace.

“Nung! Nung! Nung!” Chanting his name is all I can think of, thoughts completely dead to me.

Snarls and hisses escape his mouth as a deep purr rumbles through his chest. Aonung nips and licks at my clit, folds, and thighs, wherever he can get his teeth into, marking me in deep purple bruises.

Aonung rips his finger out of my cunt and quickly rearranges himself, lining his cock up with my hole. Pushing in without hesitation.

“Nung! Too fast! Too big! Nung!” But my words fall on deaf ears.

Aonung’s eyes are pitch black,  not even a ring of baby blue left, the purring and snarling counteract each other, but I can feel it vibrate through his cock inside me. His cock is too big and entering too fast, the pain causes tears to fall from my eyes. But he didn’t notice, just continued to force his cock inside me, each spine popping in individually causing more pain and pleasure. His spines are moving more than usual, by now they would have found their spot, but instead, they’re moving on their own. Caressing my insides and poking around, never settling.

“Oh fuck Nung! Please!” I scream into our marui.

In short thrusts Aonung bullies the rest of his dick inch by inch, hitting my cervix with each thrust.

“Aonung! There’s no more room!”

He only snarls in response, continuing to force himself into my cervix. My cervix starts to bruise from the force of his thrusts, the tapered tip, hitting it over and over again.  I can feel the muscle giving in.

“NUNG!” I screech as his cock breaches my cervix. 

A deep ache fills my core from his actions, as Aonung reaches my most intimate place. Only then did the spines on his cock still, finding their spots to lock us in place. Scraping as Aonung continues to rut into me, chasing his high. I don’t even know if I came if I need to cum, all I know is how full I am and how deep Aonung is. My eyes roll into the back of my head, as his spines seal around my cervix, refusing to let anything out. And he fucking came. A flood of cum hit me with every rut, flooding me more and more. The outline of his cock becomes softer with each pump of cum. I begin to bloat from the amount of cum in me.

 Slowly Aonung lifts me, maneuvering me so I lay on his chest, I can feel his purrs vibrate through my body as we both drift to sleep as he continues to cum. It was only seconds before I submitted to the darkness that I realized, Aonung’s rut starts tomorrow.

Update: A visual of the genitalia here

#avatar #lunaskinktober2023 #atwow #avatar way of water #kinktober #smut #aonung #aonung x y/n #aonung x reader #aonung x you

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

Some shameless fluff and dirty talking with Tav and Halsin as she recovers after the final battle.

The first in what’ll be a series of shorts of them after the game events

Most will end up as shameless horny smut, but I wanted to start with this

2.2k-ish words. No beta readers, we die like assholes typing on a phone

There were no memories of your first week immediately following your battle with the Netherbrain, you spent that time in a rare state for a drow: asleep. Sleep was a rarity in elves of any sort, typically reserved for the very young, very sick, or very injured and you found yourself in the third category after the battle.

While you have no memory of anything directly afterwards, you were told Halsin was the first to rush to your side, pouring every drop of magic he had left into healing you. It had been enough to stabilize you for the time, but you were in incredibly rough shape, lucky to even be alive. He carried you from the battlefield and begged for those from the city who had gathered for help for you. The two of you had ended up being taken in by a minor lordling who had offered a spare room and care from his house staff. Not to be outdone, many other nobles came forward to offer aid to your companions and others who defended the city.

Your first memory after awakening at the lordling’s house was Halsin; he kept vigil over you while you slept and healed, never leaving you side. When you finally awoke everything hurt and you winced as you tried to sit up, which stirred Halsin from his meditation in the chair next to the bed.

He opened his eyes and looked upon you with such softness, a warmth and gentleness you had never seen from another living being before. His lips parted, an unspoken word hung in the air before rushed to your side and pulled you into his arms. “My heart” he murmured in your ear, his voice caught in his throat, a mix of fear and relief, “my heart, I was so scared I had lost you.”

Tears well up in your eyes before you even realize that you are crying. A nightmare banished and a dream realized as melted into his embrace. “I’m here my heart, there is nothing that could keep me from you” you answer.

Halsin placed a firm hand under your chin and lifted your face up to his. He paused, drinking in your every feature with the desperation of someone who feared they would never see you again. A groan escaped his lips as he pulled you into a deep kiss, his tongue parting your lips as he fervently reacquainted himself with your taste. It felt as if he were trying to devour you, a deep hunger permeated his every move as you felt his hands rove your body, determined to claim every inch of you once more.

“May I taste more you you?” He asked, his words a heavy pant. Days of pent up fear of losing you and deep relief of your awakening rippled just under his surface, igniting a flame you felt coursing through him and spreading to you.

“Mmhmm” was the most you could manage as you soaked up his attentions. You loved being the subject of his affections, his desire, his lust.

The desire you felt from him was incredible. You felt his mouth move to your neck and one large hand slip under your shirt to cup your breast, his teeth grazed your neck in between kisses and licks.

His size dwarfed you as he leaned his weight more into you, maneuvering you into your back as he pinned your hips down between his knees.

A bolt of blinding pain shot up your left side where Halsin’s knee bumped your ribs. You let out a yelp of pain that froze him in his tracks.

In a mad scramble to get off of you Halsin nearly fell of the bed and only barely seemed to land on his feet on the floor. Panic wracked his face as he immediately began looking you over, a litany of apologies fell from his lips.

“I’m so sorry my love, I should know better, you’re healing still. I just can’t help myself with you, you’re the first thing I think of in my morning and the last thing I think of at night. I’ve waited a week while you slept and healed, dreaming of the moment you would come back to me. Until the moment I could taste you again, to have you entirely. Until I could just hold you in my arms so I knew it was real”.

“Shhhhhh” you murmured, cupping his face gently. “I’m ok, I’m sore and banged up, but I’m ok”. You press a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Let me see, where does it hurt?” He asked.

You lift you shirt back up and show him the spot of your ribs that hurt.

“You had cracked ribs and a punctured lung on this side. I pulled you from the rubble and held you in my arms, you felt so small and cold. I did what I could to heal you there, but I didn’t have much left in me, and you were bleeding so much” he paused, struggling as he relived those moments, “Others helped too, but between the physical damage and psionic damage your body started rejecting the healing magic, it was too much for you to process”.

Words tumbled from his mouth, a panic jumble of all the thoughts that had been swirling in his head for the past week. “I sent word to the nearest Druid circle as soon as I could to get another healer, someone skilled in practical medicine to work with me. She brought medication for any infections, wound wraps, burn salves, anything she could think of. Words cannot describe the debt of gratitude I have for her and her circle”.

“I would quite like to meet her then”. You ran your fingers through his hair, any touch you could provide to reassure him you were alright. The sharp pain in your ribs had dulled to a slight throb. “Perhaps once I’m well we can travel to her circle and spend some time relaxing there”.

“I think that would be a wonderful idea. I trained with several of their druids when I was younger, it would be nice to see old friends”.

“Lay with me?” you asked and scooted over to accommodate Halsin’s wide frame.

Wordlessly he settled down into the bed next to you, wrapping his arms around you and gently pulling you up against his chest. A sense of warmth and safety settled through your body, making you feel as if there was no where else in the world you belonged more.

Halsin had become your home in the weeks leading up to the final battle. The home you had known previously would never take you back. At one point you had been a beloved daughter of Lloth, a small handful of her chosen favorites, her paladins, but now that seemed eons ago.

Lloth severed your connection to her and withdrew the gift of her powers after you made the mistake of mercy a few too many times on the surface. That loss left a festering pit of darkness at your core, a fundamental loss of your identity, and your home. There would be no one waiting for you in Menzoberranzan, no welcome from you sister paladins, no warm returns to a family who would consider you a traitor.

Your only goal after your abduction and subsequent tadpole-ing had been to rid yourself of your passenger and return home. Now that dream was possibly the only thing out of reach for you.

During long talks late at night you had confided all of this in Halsin. He had been annoyingly easy to talk to and on many occasions you found yourself surrendering much more information about yourself than you had intended.

He never shied away though. You had given him brutal honesty about your life, your relentless pursuit of power in the name of your goddess, your life in Menzoberranzan. He had questions, but never judgement.

It caught you off guard and made you uncomfortable. Most surfacers had a healthy of fear, or at least apprehension, towards you and other Lloth sworn drow, Halsin only had questions. With your imposing veneer not having any effect you felt naked, and unsure how to interact with him.

The uncertainty of him faded with time. As neither of you needed to sleep you spent many long nightly chatting, at first at a distance while keeping watch or stoking the fire. Then working together to patch clothes and armor and pack food for the next day. Over time you learned about lot about him; he liked to whittle, and had a sweet tooth, he had a soft spot for kids and ducks, he was very knowledgeable about practical medicine along with healing magic, and he believed in getting to know the person someone was now, not dwelling on who they used to be.

So much had changed in your life so fast, you lost so much that could never be reclaimed. Halsin comforted you in your loses, listened for hours about your childhood, home, everything about you, asked so many questions no one else had cared about.

As you lay with him now you could not imagine your life without him. You tilted your head back to kiss along his jawline and you could feel the low rumble in his chest as he hummed his approval.

“So,” you began, “in your expert opinion, how long do you think this recovery will take?”

“A while more, your ribs are still pretty tender and I’m sure there’s more. There’s no rush my love, you’ll heal and then we’ll decided our next steps”.

“But what if I want to pick up where we left off?” You pressed your hips back against his for good measure.

“I would tell you that you are incredibly tempting and even now it’s taking much more will power than I’d like to admit to keep myself from pulling off your clothes and continuing”.

“Then have me”.

“No!” he laughed, “We just found out why that’s a bad idea” his laugh rumbled deep in his chest and reverberated through your body. “Your ribs were only barely stuck back together with magic and I might still need to find somehow to splint it, oh no, we’re waiting until you’re sturdy again”.

“You’re no fun” you pouted back.

“My love, I need you in the best health possible because once I can have you we won’t be leaving this room for quite a while” his voice dropped lower and became a growl in your ear, “I’m going to fuck you on every surface here, every way I can think of, until I hear my name on your lips a thousand times. I finally can have all of you without distraction, I want to enjoy you without interruption until I physically give out and until you have known every pleasure I could ever give to you. And then I want to hold you and rest. I want to rub any sore muscles you may have and kiss every inch of you and make sure know that no person in all of recorded history has ever been more loved than how I love you”.

A flood of happiness surged through your body as you released a breath you did not even realize you had been holding. No matter what steps came next you knew you would never face anything alone again. He would always be the tree you could always find refuge under as you would always be the beacon who would guide him home.

“I love you” you said and settled fully down and allowed yourself to get lost in his embrace.

“I love you too. I love you as sure as the sun rises each morning and as strong as the river that parts the mountains. For as long as I have breath in my body you will walk surrounded in love and I will always do my best to make sure you want for nothing”.

“And that’s more than I could have ever hoped for. Experiencing a lifetime at your side now is worth everything that came before”

“I appreciate that, but you were just injured so badly that your body started rejecting healing magic. I don’t think you got as good of a deal as you think if I’m all you have to show for it” he teased.

“I would do it all again if I had to” you smiled.

“And I will make sure you never have to. The first moment I hear anything getting stirred up I am moving you far away in case you decide you haven’t had enough. I will support you in anything else you could ever want and I will never stop you from seeking your desires or pleasures, but Oakfather preserve me we are not doing all that again”.

You drifted off to a pseudo sleep shortly after that, safely wrapped in Halsin’s arms. No matter what you had lost, you had gain so much more in Halsin.

#bg3 #bg3 halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 tav #bg3 fanfiction

[ereana]

Wriothesley X Lyney - Take my coat

Lyney bit back a curse as another cold gust of air made his legs tremble from the chill. The outfit he wore for performances was gorgeous, Chiori had truly outdone herself, but it was not what he would have chosen to wear for a lengthy evening mission. Especially a mission that involved sitting in the middle of the ass end of nowhere staking out a rundown old farmhouse.

But he hadn’t had the luxury of choice. Father’s message to him after the show had been clear; the target was moving tonight and she wanted this situation dealt with before the morning. Lyney wasn’t stupid. 

In his haste to leave he had remembered to grab his cloak off the hook, admittedly after Lynette had told him to take it as he was about to jump out a window, but even that was inadequate for the conditions he now found himself in. It was meant for short walks through the city at night not to shield him from the sharpness of the wind’s bite as he huddled against a ruined section of stone wall.

It had been two hours and the only movement had been from a lost sheep who had wandered onto the premises and started eating the overgrown grass. The urge to use his vision is growing harder to ignore but he can’t risk the light revealing his position.

He pushes down his rising irritation as best he can and tries not to think of the hot meal that his siblings would be enjoying back home without him. All of this he could have born with only the most minor grumbling if it hadn’t been for-

“What did that sheep ever do to you? Is there some sordid personal history that I should be aware of?” 

For his temporary — the word felt like a prayer for salvation — partner. 

Duke Wriothesley. Lord of the Fortress of Meropide. Prison warden. And the most insufferable man that Lyney had ever had the displeasure of meeting.

He sat near the edge of the wall, occasionally peeking his head around the side to check the scene, wrapped in his usual coat that was undoubtedly better at keeping him warm than any piece of clothing that Lyney was currently wearing.

Lyney scowls at him. Because he can. Because there’s no-one here he needs to pretend for. Because all that donning his usual mask would do was make Wriothesley try to rip it off his face. The man had an odd obsession with denying Lyney the familiarity of the persona he’d spent years cultivating; provoking and prodding him until the anger that simmered underneath erupted in full force.

“You may not be familiar with the concept of a stake out, Your Grace, but a key element is remaining quiet and undetected.” Lyney says tightly, turning his eyes back to the farmhouse even as his focus remains locked on the predator beside him.

Wriothesley looks unimpressed. “Don’t give me that. We’re far enough away that whispering isn’t going to be overheard and there isn’t anyone the bastard could be working with that could escape the pair of us.” Another breeze of night air makes Lyney’s hands shake. “So what’s the story between you and the sheep.”

“Just because you have the attention span of a toddler doesn’t mean it’s my job to entertain you.” Lyney flexes his fingers and winces at the stiffness. 

“Funny, isn’t that exactly your job.” Wriothesley shuffles closer until Lyney can feel the warmth radiating from his body. “Or is the Great Magician too proud to extend his services to an ex-criminal like myself?” 

Every word is drawled out in that deep voice that sets Lyney’s teeth on edge like nothing else. The same voice that had once mocked him in the depths of that metal tomb under the waves and held his siblings’ lives over his head as a bargaining chip.

It was just his luck that the fucker they were after had to involve the Fortress; a merchant who had attempted to cheat both organisations and run away with a tidy sum. With Wriothesley’s boat being the only back-up plan that Fontaine currently had for dealing with the prophecy, Father was keen to keep things civil for the time being. When Wriothesley had demanded a joint endeavor to deal with the scammer she had acquiesced gracefully.

Lyney had bristled at his explanation where he outright stated he didn’t trust the Fatui not to take all the money for themselves but all that had earned him was an amused smirk curling across Wriothesley’s face.

I look forward to working with you Mr Lyney.

“Why are you even here? Surely there are hundreds of other guards you could have asked to do this.” He snaps, pressing back harder against the wall in a vain attempt to shelter from the wind.

Wriothesley chuckles and leans in until their shoulders brush against each other. He’s so stupidly big that he looms over Lyney even when they’re both sitting on the cold ground.

“Oh please, we both know if I’d done that you’d have the fool wrapped around your finger in five minutes flat. No, you’re too dangerous for me to give this anything less than my personal attention.” The way Wriothesley says dangerous sounds like a compliment, it feels like one with the way it warms Lyney’s cheeks.

He huffs and looks down at his hands, itching to summon a few sparks or a few cards to keep his fingers busy. The next gust of wind makes him shiver, the cold fully setting into his bones. If he gets sick he’s going to—

A heavy, warm familiar coat drops over his body. Instinctively he clutches at it, pulling it tight to his chest before reality reasserts itself and he looks over disbelievingly at Wriothesley. Who looks remarkably unbothered in only his shirt and black bandages over his forearms.

“What are you—”

“This is going to end in fighting no matter what happens. You know that. I know that. I’d rather not have to check that my partner can take care of himself or if he’s too busy shaking to properly shoot an arrow.” Wriothesley answers with a careless shug,

It’s a weak explanation and Lyney doesn’t miss the way gray eyes glint with satisfaction when he curls his fingers in the fur before twisting to put the garment on properly.

“Whatever.” He grumbles sourly, which does nothing to hide the way he wraps himself in Wriothesley’s coat, sinking into the blessed heat with a tiny sigh.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible to keep waiting a little longer.

#genshin impact #wrioney #wriothesley #lyney #my writing

[empressofmankind]

Things I enjoyed about writing my Crocodile/female!OC smut, in no particular order:

If you had to imagine the walking, talking embodiment of all Buggy's insecurities (imo), I feel like you'd get Sir Crocodile, and that's pretty much how I went into writing him. I set out to absolutely maximize Buggy's: "Oh no, her ex is (insert self-deprecating qualifier) than me". You know, tall(er), confident, masculine, accomplished, infamous, intimidating, actually scary, redundantly rich, pretty conventionally attractive and the scar just adds to the sex appeal. He has a voice like that, and no doubt a way with women? He's even near perfected his control over his devil fruit powers! Absolutely aces the whole Bounty Hunting business thing. Rolls in and out the Grand Line like it's his backyard. He's even better at being Disney-levels of evil! Complete with a better villain laugh. How dare. How dare he absolutely nail most of everything Bugs covets? Poor Buggy. The fact that his girlfriend is technically still married to the jackass is just an extra kick in the gut while he's down, tbh. Basically, if Bugs were a piniata, this is currently my stick of choice to go at him with. I just keep finding new aspects for Bugs to be insecure about and it doesn't matter how often Shivs tells him not to worry about it.

As you know, I wrote the whole thing first in three sits, ignoring most of the limb logistics. And then I went in and revoked hand privileges. That sucked? But it was also kind of fun to then try and either make it work with one hand and/or integrate his hook. Some of the instances actually got far better with it: neck pulling, ahoy! is a big one, hitching up clothing for a close second, but also being casually threatening for no apparent reason (and then for a really apparent reason, omg). Croc seems to lean towards preferring to use his hand, and sometimes he misses having two of them for this and I tried to show that. I mean, I get it - hands have tactile sensation. Plus, we wouldn't want to kill her. Not at this point in the timeline.

God tier banter, if I may say so myself. I specifically enjoy writing (sexual) banter, but I feel like I've outdone myself here. Their beats are also pretty even-handed and so well attuned to eachother, like this isn't their first verbal rodeo, this is the end stage mega evolution of years of practise.

The way Shivs walked into her ex's office with the intention of manipulating him with sex, but did so while explicitly and recognisably wearing her current boyfriend's clothes. Balls of steel, this girl. But, she knew who she was confronting. If he turned out at all amenable to her scheme, he'd want her out of these rags stat. And that was five free steps in the direction she was meaning to go. In addition, I am a firm believer of him being a high-key closeted bisexual and we all know what they say when boys excessively pick on you. All it takes is squinting just right and imagining her with a different hair colour, and that just made me chortle. I am probably the whole target audience for this, but yolo.

The way his pet name use corresponds to his emotional headspace, apparently. I wasn't doing this intentionally, but I noticed during editing. He says 'doll' a lot (a grand total of 14 times, jfc), uses it the way guys tend to use 'babe'. I felt doll suited him, perhaps because I strongly associate it with Noir films, older Bond & Mafia movies, and crime bosses in general. Showing my age there, maybe. Then he also uses 'sweetheart' quite a few times (9 iirc), and I am pretty sure he does so in an endearing manner. Lowering those emotional walls a teeny tiny bit as fondness seeps through. And then, like, once or twice, he uses 'honey'. And, again, I feel like he uses it in an older manner, the way stereotypically a husband fondly refers to his wife. It feels intimate. Like he briefly forgets all of this is dust? I think about that a lot.

Did you notice how she doesn't use any terms of endearment? I did wonder if she had any, but I felt like she wouldn't use them. Not at this point. Not any more. She loves Bugs. She did slip up once though, did you notice? She is the queen of mildly awkward nicknames.

It may not seem so at first pass, and it's certainly not super obvious, but it seems to me like he's trying pretty hard to put Shivs' relationship goals bar somewhere on the roof. He wants nothing and no one to be able to even remotely compare to him, especially not the clown. So he throws everything at this that he can? Which, arguably, is mostly material because that's in his nature and fundamentally how he interacts with and relates to the world and people around him. But you saw how fast he was to gtfo that couch the minute she alluded to any part of this being cheap (Mediocre? Sub-standard? Blasé?). Does he genuinely not want to cheapen the whole thing? Or can he just not stand the idea of her thinking this whole thing is cheap? Or both? I suppose these aren't mutually exclusive.

I like that she can make him laugh, and vice versa. They've got really solid chemistry, dammit.

Two people that just really enjoy smoking. Like, they are Smokers with a capital S. That's a whole relationship dynamic unto itself. I am really pleased with how I managed to actively integrate it into their shenanigans. It was a lot of fun and something unique to them.

The way he just repeatedly fails at trying to engage her in a little girl dynamic. Was that a thing in the past? They had (and have) a fairly notable age difference (7-8 years, give or take). And he takes it so well when she just, doesn't play along or only does so for like five entire seconds, or blatantly wields it against him. Poor guy. Just spank her already, I know you want to.

The way Shivs goes from being mildly nervous and quite determined to: 'Oh fuck, I'd forgotten how good this actually used to be'. Like, been there, done that, didn't end well. But man, it's a mood.

Press F in the chat for the fact that she only had one orgasm in this whole thing, and it barely took the edge off. Jerk knew what he was doing. It's a power play, of course.

Sneaking in background information and then doing absolutely nothing with it. Like the comment he makes regarding both their facial scars. But also every time either of them alludes to their past relationship but doesn't actually tell us anything.

Mihawk is a wine aunt. Even Crocodile seems to think so. I am sorry, I don't make the rules.

The part where he just happens to have things on hand that she either likes (i.e. that specific brand of cigarillo's his company makes) or that fit her way too precisely (i.e. that outrageously swaggy negligee). This dude is not OK. My man, if you still know your ex' dress sizes this well after several years, you need to do some introspection. And maybe see a therapist.

The infamous fancy panties were originally a gift from him, and she evidently kept them these past years? I am not sure what makes me frown deeper: the fact that she still has them, or the fact that he immediately recognised them. I don't think she was necessarily wearing them on purpose? She does really like them and wears them often. RIP those undies. I think she's way more upset about losing them than she lets on. I wonder if she'll accept new one(s)? I suspect she may, something about gift horses. Maybe he figures? Maybe that's the point. A renewal of something. A visual reminder of the casual control he can exert over her when he wants to. It may seem insignificant (she will definitely not overthink it), but underwear is very private and intimate. He's staking a claim even without particularly saying so. But I am sure every other man in the room will figure that one out. (Counting on Mihawk to say it out loud in that bored drawl of his. The Bisexuals Straights Are At It Again.) Doubly so if they're particularly prone to feeling insecure. Poor Bugs. Just take this one lying down, you silly clown. She wants them because she thinks you'll like them and she knows neither of you can gdamn afford anything remotely like it.

Did you notice she isn't truly naked at any point? Partially undressed, yes. A little exposed, also. But not naked. Meanwhile, he's stomping around in his bare ass half the fic. I like how he gave her something nice to wear and then didn't take it off.

At this point, I feel like he gets pants problems the minute she calls him 'sir', no matter the context. Some things just get sexy tainted forever, and there's no going back, lmao.

The unnecessarily expensive details. I had so much fun with those? The layout and details of his office and bedroom, for one. Both their smokes are implied to be well out of Shivs paygrade. Any brands come to mind? Or take the wine, for example. Can you guess which one I am referencing? And the lace - I am from a traditional lace-making area. Handmade lace was and is hella expensive. Don't even start about lace featuring custom tailored designs. There was absolutely no need to throw this much Beli at the nearest wall. But he did it anyway, because he does it all the time.

The way he keeps verbally reminding her of how different things used to be. For the better, in his opinion, of course. Like, are we casually trading favours here, or are you trying something?

On that count, did you notice how often Shivs is actually thinking about Buggy in this? At no point is he far from her thoughts, it seems.

I didn't set out with this mindset, but based on how the whole thing came out - I think Crocodile might miss her (or the idea of her) ? At any rate, I don't think he's OK. You stupid dick. You self-marooned on this island of misery and now it's too late. No changies, no takebacksies.

I came up with the title post-fact. Maybe it's his thoughts, not hers?

#sir crocodile #crocodile one piece #one piece crocodile #crocodile x oc #crocodile x reader #one piece headcanon #crocodile headcanons #one piece fanfiction #have some headcanon #buggy thoughts #one piece

[randonauticrap]

Halloween with Leon (Part 1)

Pairing ~ Leon Dompteur x Reader

Word Count ~ 1k

Warnings ~ None, except for the fact that Leon only appears in flashback in this fic, since it's just Part 1. But there's a BIG warning for some adorable Licht and Yves content ahead!

It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a Halloween party with the princes of Rhodolite. You wished you could claim credit for the brilliant idea, but in reality, it was Yves. He conjured up the thought one brisk afternoon in the garden. You had relaxed into the sofa, where a table of autumn-themed treats sat before you. Yves had truly outdone himself this time. There were leaf-shaped cinnamon cookies, pumpkin spice cupcakes with adorable sugar leaves and icing pumpkins decorating the tops, a caramel cheesecake, pumpkin pecan pudding, caramel apple tarts, and a beautifully decorated chocolate peanut butter cake.

Yves handed you a cup of warm, caramel flavored coffee, and you took it with a grateful smile. Licht had already grabbed a cookie from the pumpkin shaped serving dish and was quietly munching on it when Yves finally sat down across from you. “So, you and Leon went to the pumpkin patch a few days ago?” Yves smiled over his cup of tea, his clear blue eyes pinning you with questions unasked. In response, your cheeks flushed ever so slightly and you stole a glance into your mug.

“Mhm,” you hummed, knowing you had yet to hear the end of it. 

“Well, how was it? Don’t think you can get away with not telling me. I’ll either find out from you or I’ll go to Leon myself. Now which do you want it to be?”

“Okay, okay! I’ll tell you, have mercy!” you surrendered, giggling.

“That’s more like it!” Yves set his cup down and clapped his hands together. “Ready for this, Licht? This is when we both find out if my lessons paid off!” Licht nodded and they both turned their full attention to you.

“Well, we went to the pumpkin patch, and there were quite a few people who recognized Leon and wanted to talk to him.” 

Yves rolled his eyes. “Didn’t they see that they were interrupting a very important date?!” 

“Yves!” you chided him as the color in your cheeks deepened.

“Well it’s true!” Yves countered. “If they had known how long-awaited this outing was, maybe they would have had the decency to give you two some privacy!”

“Leon is well liked everywhere, Yves.” Lict replied calmly.

“Licht is right.” you said. “No matter when we went or where we went, people would want to talk to him, and he would oblige them. It’s part of who he is.” You paused, wondering if you should let the next bit slip, but you figured it was no use trying to hide it from the 5th and 6th princes anymore. “It’s part of what I love about him.” you muttered, and the irritation in Yves’s eyes disappeared almost instantaneously, replaced by a mischievous gleam.

“Oh, yes?” He quirked an intrigued eyebrow at you. “What else do you love about Leon?”

“Yveeeeees,” you drawled in exhasperation. 

“Alright, so what happened next?” 

“Well, once we got our pumpkins, we decided to get some food.-”

“Oh! Did you use the method I taught you?!” Yves cried and you chuckled.

“I tried to, yeah.”

“How did it work?” He leaned forward, an expectant smile on his lips.

“Leon saw through it right away and just laughed.” you shrugged, and Yves’s shoulders fell.

“Ugh.” Yves swiped a hand over his face in defeat, while your smile widened. He looked up and met your gaze after several seconds, and his expression shifted from disappointment into suspicion. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Because while he may have seen through my act, he knew what I was trying to do, so he picked me up and carried me to where they were selling food.” You covered your eyes with your sweater sleeves as you thought back to being hauled up against the 4th prince’s warm, solid body in front of all those people.

“I knew it!” Yves screeched in triumph. “I knew it would work!” 

You laughed loudly and reached for a tarte, stealing a glance at Licht, who had already gone through a few more sweets during the conversation. Even he was smiling, if only barely, the sight uncharacteristic to his usually solemn countenance. You couldn’t be more thankful for these princes - your friends. “I guess my favorite season is lucky for me.” You chuckled as you lifted the tarte to your lips. 

“Wait a second…” Yves gave pause, then erupted. “That’s it!”

“What’s it?” You echoed, your tarte still hovering in front of your mouth.

“Your favorite season, your favorite holiday! We can capitalize on this!” 

“Yves, what are you talking about?” 

“You want Leon to take the next step in your relationship, right?”

“...yes.” you murmured, your face suddenly feeling hot again. Yves didn’t realize just how much he was insinuating, but you guessed that Licht did, what with how he turned his face away from you with slightly reddened ears as if to say, “I don’t want to hear this!”

“Then we need to make him jealous!” Yves rattled on, unaware. “We’ll host a party for us and the nobles - that includes you, of course. It can be a masquerade ball for Halloween!” 

“This sounds like an amazing idea, Yves!” You piped up. “But, tell me how a masquerade ball will make Leon jealous.” 

“He won’t get the chance to ask you to be his partner.” Yves grinned wickedly. 

“Who will be my partner then?” you asked, still uncertain about where this was going.

“Me or Licht, of course!” he beamed, but Licht’s frown deepened. Thankfully, before you could say the words yourself, Licht was already saying them.

“Leon knows that neither of us are romantically interested in her. He also knows we would never have unsavory intentions with her. That won’t make him jealous at all.” 

“Hmph.” Yves dropped his chin into his hand, seeing the truth in Licht’s words, but not a way around them. 

“Uhm.” you cleared your throat and their eyes were on you again.

“I know someone who might be willing…”

~ To Be Continued ~

~

Tags for the Lovelies: @rhodolitesroseforclavis @aquagirl1978 @ikehoe @queengiuliettafirstlady @maries-gallery @veervers @nightghoul381 @judejazza @xbalayage @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @alvieeru @aria-chikage @tele86

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen series #licht klein #ikepri licht #yves kloss #ikepri yves #leon dompteur #ikepri leon #ikeseries #ikemen prince yves #ikemen prince licht #ikemen prince leon #ikepri fluff #ikemen prince fall fluff #ikemen prince halloween #otome game #cybird #cybird ikemen #halloween #autumn

[redwayfarers]

“We’re a pair made of a blue melusine and an elf with very long red hair,” I remind him and lift a brow. “Both exceedingly tall and exceedingly handsome, if I may say so myself. Wonderful taste we both have, truly. If you think we aren’t stared at, think again.”

GUYS, LOOK AT WHAT @just-eyris-things MADE FOR ME! It’s part of an art trade between us, my part’s coming soon, but in the meantime, can we !!! at this Cassmel piece she did!!! Cass’ hair, Mel’s jewellery, the red and blue!! The details on Mel’s serithan!! Truly, Eyris, you have outdone yourself ;;;;; <333

Thank you so, so much, I love this so, so, sooooo much <333

#wayfarer #wayfarer if #wayfarer mc #cassander inteus #melchior larkspur #cassander x melchior #GIANT GIANTS IN LOVE #LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE SO NEAT #i love this with all my heart thank you again #they're so prebby........ #also the quote is from the tales of the red wayfarer #dont @ me it was fitting

[writingsofwesteros]

alright believe it or not but im once again at work (saturday night shift) and imma try my hand at the secretary thing. first person POV bc we're experimenting.

Just when has my life become so lame? It's saturday night, I should be out, checking out that newly opened club with my girlfriends. Instead I'm at work. Yep! Me! Blood of the Lannisters! At work. I know.

Last chance to do something with your life, my father said, as he pulled the strings to land me this position. You might know him as Robert Baratheon, the founder of Storm Industries.

You better be choking on his dick by the end of this month or else we're all screwed, my mother helpfully instructed me as to the extent of my duties. You may know her as Cersei, the self-appointed Queen Bee of Upper East.

The Queen suffers no competition, which is how I ended up as a secretary for Mr Stark, a.k.a. the Ice Wolf - the C.E.O. of Storm Industries and the hottest DILF of Wall Street, fuck him very much. My mother hates his wife with passion and having me seduce him is her idea of revenge.

I mean, I've done worse things.

It is saturday night, but if he's still working then that means I'm still working too. From my vantage point behind my desk I can see him clearly, as he's strolling around his office and tossing papers around. His form fitting suit is slightly disheveled at this hour, the white collar popped open. H's wearing designer glasses - he says they prevent his eyes from tiring when he's working late and I have no idea what the glasses actually do but they make him look sexy as hell. I mean he is that. Sexy as hell. I've been staring at him for the past hour, all secretary work long forgotten.

Unfortunately none of my seduction tactics seem to work on him. Three entire months of sky-high heels, skirts that would barely cover my underwear if I had any, and cleveages that ends somewhere around my navel. Excellent dress code, I know. I aim to please. Guess what?

He hasn't even looked once.

But yesterday I think my mother has finally outdone herself. We've all been to dinner at the Arryns'. A rich old politician who is meant to help father with something, no idea what they're about, but that's beside the point. The Starks were there: the Ice Wolf, his wife the Ice Queen, as we call her, and their two hot sons.

And get this: mother had me give him a footsie under the table. In front of his wife and sons and my own father and everything. Yeah. I wish I was joking.

The second my foot touched his thigh under the table, his eyes immediately shot to me, but... he said nothing. He's done nothing. He only watched me, as I massaged his crotch with my foot. Maybe his ears went a little red, but otherwise - nothing, nada. Null. His gaze was intense, and it was kinda hot, not gonna lie. But I couldn't tell what he was thinking or if he was even enjoying it. I mean, I could tell he was hard but who wouldn't be? Eventually I had to stop because the Arryn guy wanted to show everyone his new private jet and we had to move from the table.

Thanks for nothing, mom.

I feared I made an idiot of myself and I was sure Mr Stark would fire me the second I crossed the doorstep of our office today, but... nothing of the sort. He was all cool politeness, and his DILFy sexiness, as always. And he made me stay overtime.

I actually think I might go mad with blue balls. Blue vag? Is that a thing?

Uh-oh. He wants something. He's rang the bell. Nobody's around this late and it makes me a little jittery, but I gather my courage, stand up, push my boobs forward and march into his corner office with all the dignity that's left to me.

"I want to show you something," he says and he points to a pile of papers on his desk. I see thay are some kind of screenshots, but the lights are dimmed and I can't read the details.

I lean down over the desk to have a closer lookand my heart freezes several times over. Suddenly it's hard to breathe. On his desk lay printed screenshots of my conversations with my mother. Conversations regarding him and how best to seduce him.

I panic and immediately start planning my evacuation, but suddenly I feel his strong hand on my back, pressing me to the desk.

"And you thought you were so smart," he says, standing behind me. On this lucky cursed night I'm actually wearing underwear, but it's all lace and so thin it's practically not there. I feel the broad knuckles of his other hand brush over my snatch. You know, because my skirt does nothing to cover my privates.

"Smart girls should always remember to log out," Mr Stark informs me.

I am not a smart girl. Never have been.

HOT HOT HOT

Oh i love how involved Cersei is in this; just adds another layer !!

#i can't add anything to this master piece #the hottest!!! #business and pleasure #you always write the best!

[sardonic-sprite]

*evil cackling* I present to you: Fanfic ask game

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

&

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Hmmm ok. So for B, I guess "Adopt A Rescue" was inspired by my seeing rescue cats at a pet store, and reading how some needed to be kept together and I immediately thought of bby Jay and bby Timmy. Welcome to Gotham U came to me as a fever dream in lab one day, but nothing in it has ever actually happened to me, it's just... *flails hands around* lab

But OH

OH

I fucking forgot

Alright buckle up babies lemme tell you about Deliver Us From Evil

This bitch.

so last summer we took a family trip to a bunch of national parks in america. hiking, sightseeing, wildlife tours, photo tours... and white water rafting (wwr)

Now, I'm not adventurous, but i LOVE wwr, and it brings out my daring side like its my last day on earth. it's my family, plus i think 2 other parties, and one of those parties has these two middle school boys.

our guide and the boys are having fun messing with each other, and the guide offers everyone chances to like, go up to the front of the boat, sit on the edge, hold on for dear life, and the boys do it, and i won't be outdone by two infants who probably still think excrement-based humor is the pinnacle of comedy, so i also do it and love it. adrenaline is PUMPING i have never felt more alive, i have the biggest, wildest grin.

we reach a calm spot in the water, and the guide, who's been teasing/threatening the boys with teaching them about rapids classes the whole time, offers to do it now. he gets permission from them and their parents, and then one at a time, gets them out of the boat, holds tight to their life jackets, and starts dunking them underwater and pulling them back up, same number of dunks as class of rapids.

we're all a little shocked, but i was clamoring the whole time to also learn rapid classes, and, like i said, i am NOT going to be outdone by self-righteous munchkins. the guide really did not want to do it, lol, but i insisted, bc my absolutely BONKERS writer brain was going RESEARCH!!!!

my poor mother thought i was clinically insane, and she's probably right, but like, i'm fine, so.

anyway, that, folks, is the story of how i got myself consensually waterboarded so i could write about torture :)

Seriously, never, never, ever do that at home, though, people, like, do not. I'm giving y'all the notes I wrote the second I got my hands on my phone, so if you want to write about waterboarding or drowning, USE MY FIRSTHAND ACCOUNT NOT YOUR OWN!!

Dunked many times right in a row. Throat hurts, stomach hurts, nose runs, can't breathe, coughing, might feel like you wanna throw up. a few seconds of a break didn't help, you'll beg to stop. Barely any time to take in a breath, doesn't even help much. Frightening even when you are in control of situation. Water blinds you for a few seconds even if your eyes were closed. Disoriented and clumsy for a minute. All this was with someone going easy on me. Shivering and teeth chattering in even with water at 65ish degrees. Could maybe lead to hypothermia or get water in lungs. Being hauled into the boat scrapes you up a lil, especially if the person isn't being careful Going out of the boat you go under for a second, even with a life jacket. Hauled out/shoved down by shoulders of life jacket See water droplets in the corner of your eyes Might warm up a lil but you can get back to shivering even out of the water Hair still wet for a good while if longish Hands and knuckles start to hurt from holding onto the rope Might grit your teeth for a while Blasted heat makes it better but can also be hard to breath through your nose Chest might feel a lil sore

Q, you probably got SO much fucking more than you bargained for lmao, all I can hope is that I may have *inspired* you ;)

And as for N, yes. I desperately wish some writer fairy would just poof The Light Isn't Fadin' into completion, bc it was a hugely ambitious and nebulous project that I genuinely don't know what to do with, but that so many people have asked me about/told me they want to see continued that I kinda feel obligated now.

#sprite said #ask #thanks for the ask! #fanfic writer ask game #waterboarding #its not what it sounds like tho i swear #ao3 writer

[xxultimate-life-formxx]

Inhibitor Rings - My Review

(ASSESSMENT FOR WRJ262 BY CASTLE RIN NAQVI )

Welcome avid fans to my latest entry. A lot of you have asked about the rings around my wrists and ankles and NO, Rouge, they are not bracelets if you try to take them to pawn again there WILL be consequences.

Anyway, you have asked, and I shall answer with my honest review of the rings. First and foremost, they are Inhibitor Rings designed for me by my creator, Gerald Robotnik, over 50 years ago. They were created to suppress my power level, being the ultimate life form has a price and my power levels could easily exceed nature’s limits, I could kill in a heartbeat, destroy the world in a second. They’re an important tool.

Robotnik was a master of his craft, there were times, like when dealing with Mephiles’ clones during the 2006 incident, where it was necessary for me to unleash my true power. I don’t know who took this picture, was it Sonic? Did Sonic take this? It doesn’t matter... As you can see, there is a light emitting from one of the rings, this is what happens during the removal. Somehow, they can sense that I wish to remove them, and they glow and expand and slide off at ease. An incredible feature really, the seconds I save not having to deal with some sort of clasp I imagine have saved many lives. 

[I see you looking at the rings, Rouge, I swear to God]

It works the same way putting the rings back on, they expand as I put them on and then close and lock around my wrists and ankles with the same shining light as the removal process, and I look damn cool doing it. 

A testimony to the absolute ultimate power of the rings from back in 2001, during the events that led up to my presumed death which was my first ever experience removing the rings. I had transformed into my ultimate form, SUPER SHADOW and defeated the Finalhazard. This was up on the Space Colony ARK, which you all should know of but if not, it’s the space station that Robotnik built and the place I was created. Anyway, my body couldn’t handle the amount of power I used, and I reverted back to my original form, which is still an ultimate form, just suppressed. I fell from space down to Earth and lived. I learned then how necessary it was for me to wear these rings, and I admire the brains of Gerald Robotnik; clearly a mind so talented it’s something imbecilic foxes are unable to comprehend.

Like, I don’t know if it was just to piss me off or what, but Tails said they were “Millennial-core”?????? He just doesn’t understand like, yes, they were made over 50 years ago but it’s the kind of technology that can’t be outdone, it’s damn near perfect for its purpose. A couple days ago, he was showing me how he could apparently make better ones, with Bluetooth. What the hell would I need Bluetooth for? I guess if I were to say a downside to the rings, it may be that it attracts idiots that think they can do better. 

Well, now that I’m thinking about it, imagine if I could add some sort of Chaos Emerald tracker onto one of them. I’d be unstoppable. I could Chaos Control through time. I could become Super Shadow whenever I wanted. Maybe I could even take control of the Master Emerald…

But it’s not necessarily a flaw that it doesn’t have features like this, they are “Inhibitor Rings”, designed to inhibit power, any hypothetical addition doesn’t make them any less of a perfect power limiting tool. I was just kind of getting ahead of myself there for a second.

Well, now I’m thinking more negatively, I guess I do have some regrets. Gerald never left behind any information on the ring’s creation, so if I lost them or if they were to somehow break (though I wouldn’t break them, I’m not some fool) I could never replicate them, at least not nearly to the same ability. No one could. No one understands the way the magic in them functions, not even the current Dr Robotnik Eggman. Ugh, now I’m even more worried about Sonic’s idiotic friends. 

If you are reading this. STAY AWAY FROM MY STUFF. If one ever goes missing, you will all feel my wrath. Luckily as I’ve said earlier, they are locked onto my wrists and ankles unless I want to remove them, so it would be pretty difficult to steal them. It would have to be at a time where I've removed them, and you DO NOT want to mess with me at my full capacity. So actually, never mind, I’m not worried, I’d like to see you try.

Oh, another thing, aesthetic wise, they also look great, I think they really compliment the red of my quills. Gold rings have a sense of class too, wealth even. Only superior lifeforms can truly appreciate the addition of a good accessory, and I have four of them. 

Overall, I must say the Inhibitor rings creation, along with my own creation, must be one of Gerald Robotnik's most clever inventions. Not only was I created by him, but it was also immediately predicted that I would have too much overwhelming power that couldn’t be contained by my body alone. Thus, my personal customised inhibitor rings were a necessary and incredibly useful addition to my body. 10/10.

Bibliography/References

‘Inhibitor Ring’. 2024. Sonic Wiki Zone [online]. Available at: https://sonic.fandom.com/wiki/Inhibitor_Ring [accessed 15 Mar 2024].

Sonic Adventure 2, (2001), Video Game, Gamecube, SEGA

Sonic The Hedgehog, (2006), Video Game, PlayStation 3, SEGA

[shugasdiary]

Don't put yourself in a box, boundaries exist only in your head.

50 sketches.

We had another interesting assignment that also makes you step out of your comfort zone and think things that you may never have thought about. In this experiment, which was called 50 shading sketches. You know, when I heard that I would have to draw a lot of different variations of one simple thing, I was scared, because I hadn't used my imagination like that before and thought I couldn't cope. And in the beginning, after a successful five versions, a stupor occurred, because I did not allow myself to think more broadly and thought no, this is impossible, it's ridiculous. But as soon as you let go of control and just erase the boundaries, you start drawing things that you would never think of. I think I've outdone myself in this experiment. And it was very funny and fun to work in pairs, because looking at each other's leaves, they laughed and took other ideas for themselves. The conclusion of the assessment really shows that boundaries exist only in the head, and as soon as you expand them, you start thinking about the big and impossible.

[greaterconscious]

Trying to recover from a cold while vacationing in Osaka right now. Meaning, the perfect time to write. I have had roughly a week of being utterly myself, with a week still left to go. By that I mean not having to worry about work, not having access to drugs that take away my time and thoughts, not constrained with the feeling of needing to be online. What had formerly been my entire day to day life for the past few years has been superseded. I seriously can't remember the last time I had such little to "worry" about. Maybe it was the last time I came to Japan. Wait, no. I do remember a comparable feeling when I travelled to SF last year. Anyhow, in doing so, I have been allowed to think of myself. Where I am at in life. Where I want to be. And that last point being the most important. Where do I want to be? For the past few years I have been dealing with adjustments. It is strange to acknowledge this, but 5 years after my last major changes in life (breakup, real job, solitude, drugs), only now do I feel adjusted. These past feelings have been resolved, and I feel like myself more than I ever had in the previous 5 years. I know what I want now. I have a goal :)

To put it simply, my goal is to become fluent in Japanese. This heritage has defined so much of my life, it only seems fair. I have had other thoughts dabbling about in my mind, those of artistry, creativity, creation. May those come in due time as well. Speaking of focus, I believe I may need to reconsider my prior commitments. There are so many things I want to work on, that it is becoming a bit much for me to bear all at once. Ugh, this is truly the hardest part. I want to do so much, but I only have so much time in the day. I want to live... forever... to accomplish my goals within a lifespan...

Well, I enjoy my job now. And I need money. That will stay. I enjoy looking good and being fit. Doubling as a lifespan lengthener. I will continue to go to the gym and eat healthier when possible. I enjoy spending time and communicating with others on FF. That will... probably stay, but time spent will dwindle. And I DON'T enjoy thinking about and reserving time for smoking. It eats at my lifespan and my goals. That will go.

It is hard to describe shortly how inspirational Japan and its culture is to me. There are those that work so hard in every aspect of their life. And I cannot fathom to be outdone.

Who am I when I define myself by my goals? Hardworking, fashionable, master of all, perfectionist, unique. Hah, I am only saying positive things. That is just how I view myself - in high regard. Well, there's nothing wrong with focusing on the positives as long as they are true.

This entry was all over the place, but I had one thing I wanted to convey and that was my one goal and I did that.

So with that, goodbye for now.

An inspired Mark. 7:19PM (JST) Early Dec, 2023.

#journal

[doubleddenden]

So I'm doing nanowrimo kinda, buy I'm working my own rules

And uh. I finished what's basically a "book" I've been working on for a while, but I see it more or less as a volume 1 instead. This "volume" was the first part of my story thats usually only a chapter or 2 long, and now it's basically a small novel lol

I'm kind of excited but I'm also feeling my own pressure. I've been working on this story since I was 15, and I've scrapped, polished, adjusted, trashed, shelved, and rewritten portions until, at 30, I've finally gotten to a point I wanna say "good enough" and finally move on to the MEAT of my story.

Idk, I'm trying I guess. Life's shit all around, I'm in constant pain, I'm depressed af, I feel alone, and tbh physically I'm not getting much better. But dammit, I'm kinda proud of myself for the first time in a long time for doing something just for myself and nobody else. It's not perfect, even now I wish I had written a couple of things differently, but it's still a step I'm finally taking.

I kind of have stupidly high hopes for this story, and in my head I see it becoming a high quality anime, movie, and game series beloved by many- now will that happen? Absolutely not. I'm aware I'm just a lowly nobody and this dream will probably be shot out of the sky by some dream crushing reality check bomb. But even so, I still want to try to indulge this fantasy of mine- my last dream of at least writing a fun story people like- that I like, anyway, inspired by the things I grew up liking and being inspired by with my own lessons I want to teach people. This story is the most precious thing I have left in my awful life, and I want it to be amazing.

Someday I'll publish- but I think I'm going to wait until the full adventure is finished. It's long, it's complex, it will take time and patience, but I hope to finish at least this story before I die someday, whenever that may be.

Idk just... give me some strength not to chicken out. This is one of the few moments I feel pride in my work, and honestly I could have taken the easy way out. My writing program apparently updated itself to have AI writing capabilities and I could have clicked that and just edit where I felt like it. But I didn't! I'm human, this story is about humanity, and I'm not going to be outdone by a fucking robot!

#dd rambles

[thewayoftheworld-honkai-genshin]

The Trio of Suffering A4

“Master Dottore, may I have the day off tomorrow to visit my mother?”

“Hm… Maybe, if I go with you. To supervise.”

I thank him, and the next day we are on our way. He stands a little away as I knock on the door. Mother takes her time to open the door. When she sees me, she gives me a disgusted look.

“What are you doing back here, you worthless boy?” Then she looks at The Doctor and steps away from the door, “I mean come on in, son. What brings you here?”

I walk in, “He heard you, Mother. You do not need to put up this act.” Suddenly, she bursts into laughter.

“[STATIC], you’ve really outdone yourself. To think you would go to such lengths to hurt your dear old mother again! What even is your relationship with… this monster?”

“He’s my assistant,” The Doctor puts his hand on my shoulder. Her eyes widen.

“Y-you… You wicked boy… You are filled with evil aren’t you? How dare you come back here?!?” Mother goes into the kitchen and returns with a knife, “Mark my words, [STATIC], you’ll regret coming here! You’ll regret ever being born!” Then static… and The Doctor and I were outside the house with his hand on my shoulder. His touch stung. I assume that in the gap, I killed Mother. I know she is dead, so that would make sense.

I had been working with The Doctor for a couple more years now and I was attempting to dismantle a ruin guard. As I worked, I failed to notice the eye light up. It rose up and I had to quickly prepare myself for battle.

SLASH!

But I took too long. And now there was blood dripping from my face. I screamed and jumped away, grabbing my polearm from a rack. As I fought, I couldn’t help but wonder where The Doctor was. Surely he would have come to investigate the noise by now? This wondering caused me to lose focus on the fight as I was slammed into a wall, hitting my head. As I last all my senses, the last thing I saw was the subject of my love and loyalty. The Doctor.

I awoke on that table again. Cold metal against my exposed back… My superior was standing over me.  He was smiling, but the smile didn’t seem genuine to me.

“You’re awake, darling. I was worried that you would have been killed. I don’t want to replace, yet you might be too weak for this job… Or maybe I should say you were. I made some upgrades to you that should make you more capable.”

#dottore's assistant #ttos-chap #trio-of-suffering #il dottore genshin impact #verbal abuse #abusive parents #Il Dottore #Genshin Impact

[monstermaster13]

Susan’s New Groove.

NOTE: This is a Susan’s Plan fic that is also a homage to The Emperor’s New Groove and is a ftm Were-aykroyd tf fic.

You see that Were-Aykroyd over there, well that Were-Aykroyd used to be someone and just not any old someone but Susan Holland. But before we get to that you must know what happening that got her in this predicament…Susan wanted to get revenge on her ex-husband Paul all those years ago but all her attempts to do so had failed, and now Paul had heard of this, he was steaming mad in fact he was furious and he wanted to get back at her. ‘Susan has gone too far this time.’ ‘I know Paul but what can we do? Unless we can think of a brilliant plan to get rid of her or something.’ Betty quipped as she thought about what they could do to get back at Susan.

“Do you think we could team up to get rid of her?”

“Yes…do you want to?”

“Maybe we could…to the secret lab, pull the lever, Sam!’ Betty quipped as Sam pulled a lever, which accidentally knocked her through a trapdoor. ‘Wrong lever!’ ‘Sorry. Is this the one?’ he pulled the right lever this time which activated a rollercoaster of sorts, which took them underground and into Betty’s secret lab along with Paul. ‘Ah ha, perfect. Now that we’re here we can work on the plan.’

“Any ideas?”

‘Well we could use one of these…we could turn her into a flea, a harmless little flea. Then we put the flea in a box and put the box in another box and that box in another box, and then I’ll mail it to myself and when it arrives i’ll smash it with a hammer. It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.’ ‘Hmmm..sounds complicated.’ ‘Or to save on postage, i’ll just poison her with this.’ She laughed wickedly to herself as she explained her plan to Paul and Sam.

“Alright, if you insist…”

“Yes, Sam..call Susan over please.”

Sam got his phone out and called Susan over for dinner later that evening, Paul served the food and set it all up and when Susan sat down she decided to try some of the food. ‘Mmm…you’ve outdone yourself, Paul. I must say you’re really good at cooking.’ ‘Thanks.’ ‘So i’d just like to say i’m sorry for trying to have you killed previously, I just wanted your insurance money, that’s all and I hope you’re not mad.’ ‘Me? No. I never could be mad at you.’ She smiled as she tried some of the main course.

‘Pst…Sam, do you have the poison?’ ‘Which one is it?’ ‘The one that I picked out.’ ‘Oh, right, the poison, the poison for Susan. The poison that is made specifically to kill Susan, Susan’s poison…that poison?’ ‘Yes, that poison.’ ‘Gotcha covered.’ Sam handed the bottle of ‘poison’ to Betty who poured it in a bottle and gave the bottle to Susan. ‘Here you go Susan…here’s to everything you did.’ ‘To everything.’

Susan picked up the drink and started drinking from it, and her stomach gurgled a little bit before she collapsed. ‘Yes, we did it!’ ‘She’s dead?’ It looked like the dastardly duo were about to celebrate when Susan woke back up, she looked over at her arms and to her horror she saw them broaden and grow as some brownish hairs developed on them. ‘Sam, Paul…Betty, what’s happening? I don’t feel so good. And look at my arms. I’m going to need to shave these later.’

“Huh…Sam? This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Oh my…uhh…”

Betty looked over at Susan and then back at Sam who was blushing out of embarrassment, Sam knew he had made a mistake. Susan looked at her hands as they enlarged, and then gasped as the buttons on her top began to pop off one by one, while her torso and chest broadened and also developed a small selection of brownish hairs on them. She gasped as her breasts retracted and her stomach grew and developed some hairs on it, her skin matured and in the process her back and shoulders broadened, making her look a bit larger than she was prior. ‘What’s going on? Sam? Paul? Betty?’ ‘Oh dear…this may not be a good time to say this to you, but…’

Susan screamed as her hips retracted, her rear plumped up, making her look like she was quite thicc as her privates altered into the more masculine variant. Her jeans didn’t rip entirely, but did grow to fit her body as her legs altered while her feet grew in size, two of the toes on them sticking together at the knuckle to give her the appearance of having webbed toes. She slowly shot up in height from her normal height to 6’1, her reddish hair darkening and turning a dark brown color while her brow and forehead altered, her eyebrows thickened as her eyes widened, one remaining brown while the other turned green.

In addition to this her nose broadened and developed a cleft in the middle as her features plumped up and slowly contorted into a face that was identical to Bob’s, i.e very Aykroydian, as she gained a tear shaped tattoo like Bob’s. She looked exactly like Bob and had a build just like his now, her voice deepened and altered, altering and giving her some rather Aykroydian traits as it became a male voice. She panicked for a little and then looked at herself in the mirror, she had become a Were-Aykroyd.

“Uhhh..Sam, why does Susan look like Bob?”

“I’m going to tell you this now, Betty. You won’t like this.”

‘I won’t like what?’ ‘This…she’s a Were-Aykroyd now.’ ‘A Were-Aykroyd? She’s supposed to be dead!’ ‘Yeah, weird.’ ‘Let me see that potion for a minute…this isn’t poison.’ ‘It’s not poison?’ ‘No…this is extract of Dan Aykroyd!’ ‘In my defense all the potions look similar, you should consider relabelling them.’

Susan looked at herself or rather himself…’Oh my god I look like Bob.’ ‘I’m sorry about that, please don’t kill us.’ At first she was horrified but then she realized he liked being a Were-Aykroyd, chuckling to herself…he was still Susan mentally and it was obvious he didn’t take on Dan Aykroyd’s identity, because she was definitely Aykroydian while being himself, so best of both worlds. ‘I won’t do that, you know you were right, I was kind of horrible towards Paul, Paul…I am sincerely sorry.’ ‘Apology accepted.’

“So what do we do now? Do we turn Susan back to normal or leave her like this?”

“Leave her like this.”

‘I am with you on that.’ Susan nodded as he examined himself, he did feel pretty sexy like this and he agreed that he wanted to stay as a Were-Aykroyd, he liked this new form and definitely thought he and Bob could be best friends, and thus with that Sam, Betty and Paul decided to leave him like that as opposed to changing him back to normal, after all Sam liked him better that way and he wasn’t likely going to change his mind at any times.

And thus we also come to where you came in, so you see…that Were-Aykroyd was Susan Holland, but now he’s much better off than how he was initially, and he turned out extremely good looking and popular with the ladies and also with some of the boys. Sometimes, revenge really CAN pay off.

#monstermaster13 #dan aykroyd