#i think i might name her raven idk

[franksoceanwrld]

STAR SHOPPING

modern! aegon targaryen x fem!reader.

notes: first time writing hotd or any x reader, anyways i hope this isn’t that bad lol, also i just made up your girl bestfriend (raven), kinda based on star shopping by lil peep?? also i was listening to godspeed by frank ocean while writing this. also you might ship jace x reader oops.

summary: you’ve always had feelings for your bestfriend aegon, but then your other bestfriend raven and you get invited to a party.

warning (s): ANGST (we love angst), sad reader, your other bestfriend being a bitch, toxic friendship, alcohol, jace kinda being friendzoned?? idk if there’s others..

“come on! don’t be a pussy!” your bestfriend raven spoke, laughing in almost a mocking way.

you met raven on the first day of university, that was three years ago. there’s been guys that you’ve liked, but she’d always date or hook up with them. you confronted her about it three months ago and she promised that she would stop, and she’s lived up to her promise. so far.

she’d known of your little crush on aegon, she always flirt with him but he’d always shut it down which was surprising because aegon craved every females attention but you.

“raven.” you looked at her, giving her a disapproving look. “we went to one last night.”

“so? and the one last night was boring.” she huffed, “and aegon is going to be there.” she nudged your shoulder.

you looked at her, “fine! but if you get drunk, i’m not driving you home again!.” you sighed, but you knew that you’d drive her anyways.

“yes!” raven exclaimed, raising her arms above her head. a sense of dread filled your stomach a sense that the night wouldn’t end good.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

when you guys both arrived to the party, cars littered the streets, the pounding of the music left your head aching almost. you looked around the house, familiar faces from kings landing university littered the house.

raven screamed happily, and ran over to someone. aegon.

you walked over there, grabbing a glass of something but you didn’t care. something stirred inside your stomach as you watched raven put her arms around aegon’s neck.

aegon looked suprised almost, and he looked uncomfortable. which was surprising. he looked over to you and smiled, the smile that only you could see.

you’d normally never drink at party’s, normally looking after raven or aegon or both. you put the cup to your lips and drank out of it, a burning sensation going down your throat. you shook your head at the feeling and drank some more.

“y/n!” a voice called you over, you looked away from aegon and raven, seeing jace. his real name was jacaerys velaryon but ‘jace’ seemed more easier.

“jace!” you smiled to him, and quickly ran over to him and hugged him.

“i didn’t think think you’d come.” jace smiled, stepping away from the embrace. the vibrations of the music seemed like deja vu from the night before.

“well, raven kinda made me come.” you took another drink of the cup.

“well, she looks very occupied right now.” jace raised his eyebrows. the curls on his head bouncing with every step he took.

you looked behind you and saw raven smiling at aegon. that same smile she did when she found out you liked cregan stark.

raven wouldn’t take aegon like the rest of the boys you’d like. right?

you tried to take another sip of the drink only to realize that it was empty and suddenly you needed more alcohol.

“where’s the drinks?” i yelled over the music getting louder. jade pointed to the kitchen and you hurriedly went there.

you didn’t know how long it had passed, the more alcohol you’d consumed the more you felt yourself drifting away from reality. hours felt like minutes and the party seemed to get louder with every second. you were surprised the police hadn’t been called yet.

you found yourself stumbling in a dim lit hallway, bumping into people who looked at you like you’d said various insults to them.

you wondered where aegon was, you’d hope he wasn’t with some girl but you knew that wasn’t true. after all he was aegon targaryen.

when you got to the main area, the music got louder and louder, people trying to speak over it but failed, there were people making out on walls and couches but no sign of aegon or raven.

amongst the chaos, you saw the backdoor. you needed air, the smells of sweaty bodies and the lack of fresh air make it feel claustrophobic to you.

you stumbled around the sweaty bodies, some asking if you were okay. you finally got outside and a sense of peace filled you.

you walked outside to the middle of the backyard, you weren’t alone tho. there were people who talked to each other and some making out with each other, and some were crying with a friend. typical party tho…

you breathed in the fresh air, happy that you didn’t smell sweaty body’s, you took a drink out of your cup, the burning sensation you liked so much filled your throat again.

you looked up, the stars and moon illuminated your face.

as you looked at the stars, the music inside the house seemed to get blurred out.

you smiled to yourself, feeling the effects of the alcohol.

you wondered how dumb you looked, standing outside a party looking at the stars smiling to yourself.

someone tapped your shoulder, bring you out of your trance. “are you good?” jace asked, looking almost concerned.

“y-yea.” you hiccuped. “why would i not be?” your words were slurred, it was a miracle that jace understood you.

“i just-you.” jace paused, trying to find the right words. “you normally don’t drink this much..”

“it’s fine!” you slurred out, placing a weak hand on his shoulder. “go bother someone else!”

jace looked almost hurt when you said that. jace nodded and left you with your drunken thoughts.

“whatever.” i muttered to myself.

you continued to look at the stars, not caring who saw. you wondered how much minutes went by.

when you tried to take a sip out of your drink again, nothing came out.

the rain slowly started to come down, people running to get inside, the party still going on.

you cursed to yourself, and ran inside. wanting to get another drink, your head was starting to pound now.

you tried finding the kitchen, but bodies were blocking your way of seeing. you stumbled into the front of the house, it was less crowded but it still had people making out, talking and other things.

you pushed through the crowds of bodies, desperate almost to find the thing you were craving. then you stopped.

you saw the familiar head of silver locks, pushing a dark haired woman on the wall and kissing her.

aegon started to kiss the woman’s neck, the woman smiling in pleasure. raven.

your gut twisted in a way of betrayal, shock, hurt and jealously.

you felt like crying. raven always got her way with guys, the guys that you liked.

suddenly you felt sober already. raven looked at you with a look of shock and proudness. she knew you’d always forgive her.

you ran out of the house, throwing your cup into a pile of trash.

you ran down the driveway, the rain felt heavier this time, drenching your hair, your mascara going down your face.

you stepped onto the street, trying to get the image out of your mind.

your tears mixed with the rain, your clothes were now soaked to this point it was sticking to your skin.

the more you walked away the quieter and quieter the party got. you didn’t know where you were going but it didn’t matter.

you continued to walk down the street, the sound of the rain hitting the ground and nearby cars and the image of raven kissing aegon and the smug look on her face when she saw you, corrupted your mind.

the more you saw that image the more you wanted to run away and never to be seen again.

#spotify #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii targaryen x reader #house of the dragon #hotd modern au #house of the dragon modern #modern #game of thrones #star shopping #alicent hightower #aegon targaryen modern #aemond targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #franksoceanwrld

[ketterdamskaelishprince]

episode 100, mr raven what the fuck

obviously since i'll be talking about episode 100 i'm going to just put it out there that if you haven't read episode 100 yet then do not read this. then again, this is all in vague reference to the episode and i'm mostly just using bits and pieces to back up my previous idea.

(this is taken from ep 99 pls chill i'm not dishing out spoilers)

anyways, if we continue to ep 100, we see MORE EVIDENCE FOR THAT WIERD DEER THING BEING THEO.

"and for you, especially" shouts to me specifically about this. as previously stated, i have the most insane and stupid thought that the weird deer-monster-bone-tree thing from episode one (you know what i'm talking about), is theo's spectre.

as stated before, the most compelling evidence i have for this is the fact that theo was known to hunt deer a lot, and the thing we see in episode one looks a lot like a deer skull, just with loads of red eyes placed into the cracks and such. and we know from the first episode that it seemed to flock towards lenore and annabel. or at least i think it sort of seems to go towards them.

and you, know i could've been wrong– except look at this from ep 100:

now, obviously the first part practically proves the fact something is following lenore, and that this something is (potentially!!!) theo's spectre. but i think what proves it more is what mr raven says next.

"close as a second shadow"

someone on tumblr (i cannot remember who) pointed out that annabel and lenore's like fates are almost reversed? and how lenore who once had nothing to loose now has everything, and annabel is vice versa. and you know, first of all, amazing take. delicious. fantastic. whoever this was, please please please make yourself known to me pookie i'm gna worship the ground you walk on because you've given me thoughts !!!

from this "second shadow" talk, i wonder if the idea of reversal spreads through more than just lenore and annabel's relationship. in life, theo was the star violinist whilst lenore was the accompanist, the piano player.

musically, lenore was his shadow.

of course, this is a very generalised take. as somebody who plays both piano and flute, i'm not going to go out and say that the piano player is just background noise when it's a duet, but more often then not the piano stands aside so that the violin (in these situations) can shine.

n life, lenore lives behind theo's shadow, and when he dies she's haunted by it.

when she looks in the mirror, she sees theo as she cuts her hair. she sees him everywhere. in his life, she was the the dark shadow that loomed– but in death he always behind her, always the dark looming figure that follows her. her guilt binds with his memory and forms that dark looming thought that nobody wants to discuss.

and so, to me, it makes perfect sense that this little deer-tree-bone-monster thing is theo.

but then, obviously, as i look at all of this, there is the glaring question of why in the first episode this monster looked like it really wanted to chomp on lenore and annabel's limbs. and you know, typically, siblings don't want to cannibalise each other.

i see your point, and i respond back with these three panels:

lenore goes on to explain that their bloodline has been plagued by madness, misfortune and death. then, take a look at what the raven says of how spirits "oft" are "driven to madness" by their desire for souls.

i think this connects, because idk i just think it does. could be totally wrong, but i think (???) theo (???) somehow escaped to try get back to lenore and go to the threshold (???) but got trapped in that spooky place, and his only defence left was his spectre (???) and so, by staying in it too long, he too was "driven to madness" which probably wasn't helped by the vandernacht curse (???). he might be half forgotten in his own mind, but he knows one thing right now: he wants to find lenore, his sister. he might not remember her as his sister, but he knows her name and an image is there in her mind. so when she arrives, he must get to her.

anyways guys, that's it. ignore me. i yap a lot. i know i don't know a lot and i'm sure there's a few fastpassers out there who are laughing because i'm being silly, but let me delude myself :)

#nevermore webtoon #nevermore webcomic #nevermore #lenore nevermore #annabel lee nevermore #lenore vandernacht #theo nevermore #i am singlehandedly adding to this tag #this may be riddled with typos #episode 100 damn fr

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I'm not sure if you've already said this but I'm asking anyway. Since you're the local Flashfam expert and also a PJO lover (you have no idea how happy I am that we like the same things), what godly parents would the Flashfam have? Like, all of the fam. Counting characters like Linda and Iris

And it'd also be cool if you assigned a cabin for the Titans and/or the Young Justice too-

I mean it has to be Hermes. It literally has to be Hermes for the speedsters. Like, maybe we throw in a Roman twist and say Mercury every once in a while, but that's just gotta be the answer.

Jay literally wears Hermes' helmet. Max named himself after Mercury. Barry wears Hermes' winged shoes and has wings on his head. Same with Wally. Jay is also literally given Hermes'/Mercury's powers on Earth-2.

And it makes sense, it really does. God of travellers? Check. The winged aesthetic? Check. God of messengers? Check! God of tricksters, liars and thieves? Look, the speedsters are all of the above just in a VERY chaotic good way. They don't rob people but also when Wally found out that the museum had the bones of a fallen soldier from another country without said countries permission or consent? HE STOLE THEM BACK. Bart has absolutely no qualms taking things, Max has been a thief in the past, Jay and Barry work by pirate rules aka 'if I defeat you, I get your stuff', ect. They don't do armed robbery and they don't like stealing from random citizens, but bad guys are free game.

Iris I have to go on the nose and say Iris because Iris is the goddess of messengers and rainbows, and Iris is literally a reporter? So her whole thing is spreading information? While looking stunning.

Linda is an Athena kid 125%. Linda writes books, she was a kickass investigative reporter, she went to med school, she knows more about speedster biology and how it works than literally anyone else in her home dimension, she regularly fights aliens with no powers and just whatever weapons she finds laying around. Linda is intelligent, she's cunning and witty and she will cut a bitch.

Joan is a Hestia kid. Just... family, love, warmth. Need I say more?

As for the Titans... well, Donna is already taken care of. Garth... is technically also taken care of I think?? Atlanteans exist in Greek mythology so Garth is just the same I think. Roy... fuck it, Ares. I said what I said come at me bro. For Dick I would want to go with a minor god or goddess, I like the idea of him being a child of Psyche (Goddess of the human soul) because he is very human and he understands people on a level that might be considered supernatural. Lilith would be the oracle. Karen would be a child of Hephaestus and Mal would 100% just be a guy who can see through the mist and has a shield.

Gar is the last son of Pan because that's cool AF. Raven would be the daughter of Tartarus I think. Vic would be a son of Apollo. I know it's really easy to go for Hephaestus for Vic but honestly, the key part of Vic's story to me isn't that he's a cyborg, it's that he's human. He's a survivor, who, against all odds, received bat shit crazy medical treatment from his father and survived a fatal accident. I like the idea that Apollo saw a guy doing crazy stuff to advance medical science and was like 'Hey there 😉😉😉😉'. Also pre accident Vic was a football player which has a lot to do with aim, so idk, I just like it. Starfire would be a demigod child of the sun deity on her home planet.

For Young Justice, Cassie and Bart are already covered. Kon would be a legacy of Nemesis (Lex) and a legacy of a deity from Krypton. Cissie would be a daughter of Ares and a legacy of Apollo. Greta would be a child of Morpheus. Tim would be the son of Lachesis. Slobo is Slobo. Anita.... Tbh I want to say she's a legacy of Aphrodite? Love is a huge part of her backstory and I dislike giving the non powered characters godly parentage that explains away their abilities. They worked hard for those skills!

#pjo #yj #titans #flashfam #flash family #dc

[jooniperbonsai]

Thanks for the Sub (ksj) | Chapter Three

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 14.9k

Release date: March 24, 2024

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: Now that Seokjin has agreed to come over and help you practice for your streams, you find there's a lot more you want to do with him than actually prepare for this stream.

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety and panic attacks HEAVILY referenced in this chapter, familial verbal and emotional abuse that might be triggering to some (slamming of doors, manipulative behaviors), references to puberty, implied chubby/fat reader, references to disordered eating (not main characters), references to oral (f), mention of sub drop, Seokjin is STRONG and the king of consent, lots of little domestic moments idk let's hope I didn't forget anything

a/n: Ahh finally, I'm so sorry it took so long to get to you. I have been very busy in my little corner of reality so I haven't had a chance to really dive back in for a while. I hope you enjoy more of the backstory to the characters in this one, I found pulling away from the spicy bits a little necessary so I could learn more about my characters as they grow.

I'll be in South Korea these next few weeks for my birthday, so I might be mostly offline but I'll enjoy looking at your comments, tags, questions, etc, while I'm away! Thanks for your patience. Enjoy! -h

This, she thinks, is goodbye. Her body sprawled in the silk sheets of August’s chamber, head thrust back onto the plush pillows. Never again in her life did she think she would see the dark beams of his ceiling again, yet now, her legs bent and open for him, his lips eagerly suckling her inner thigh, she couldn’t imagine life any other way. 

How many times had she counted each knot in the wood above her, her eyes tracing the swirl and swell of the grain while August swirled the swell of her sex? Perfectly matched in this way, as if he were reading her like a map he’d crafted himself. He knew her. Knew all of her, how the heady moan leaving her throat now was a sign she was becoming impatient with his thorough ministrations. 

She dared to risk a glance down, only to see him watching her intently, devilishly choosing that moment to latch himself onto her, a wicked smirk flashing across his face as she elicited a hearty gasp. 

“August,” she breathed, instinctively tangling her fingers through his newly-raven hair, dyed dark now to comply with his family’s request. While his once-bleached locks were the definite sign of his rebellion, a sign that he would fight against the ruling state and their convoluted and asinine laws that prevented royalty from marrying a commoner, she admitted his natural hair suited him more. He looked less harsh this way, his delicate skin creamy and soft as she skimmed her fingertips across his cheek. 

“No,” he breathed into her sex, sending a delightful shiver down her spine. 

Something about the glint in his eye as he feasted upon her spelled out more than simple lust. No, she forbade herself to think that this was more than a parting gift, a transaction before she would be cast aside for his betrothed. 

“Please,” she begged, though she knew she was asking for many things in that request. Please end the hunger between her legs, please end his engagement. Please take her to bed tonight and tomorrow and every night after. Please love me. 

“Say my name,” he growled, sitting up to wipe his mouth with the back of his robe sleeve.

“August,” she called but he only chuckled darkly, the cool blue of the fabric cascading around him. 

 She felt so exposed. Here she was, completely naked, and yet he hadn’t even begun to undress. It felt cold, final, and sickening. Her eyes roved his body, looking for more skin, anything to keep her close to him at this moment, but he was so carefully tucked away. 

“August,” she said again and he shook his head. 

“That’s not my name,” he argued. 

Her eyebrows knit together, and she reached forward, needing now more than ever to touch him. She was drowning fast in the night, the blue robes sweeping over both their bodies as he leaned closer, finally letting her grip his forearm as she groped around. He was drifting from her in one way or another, his body a boat on the water that was capsizing her under his waves. 

“I–I can’t. I can’t see you. I–.” A rush of white hot panic surged into her throat, constricting her words. As she began drowning, August moved quickly, disrobing himself and pulling her into his embrace. She gasped for air as she wrenched out a heavy sob, her nipples stroking the soft hairs on his chest, yet she ignored the sensation instead for the thing she needed more: his heartbeat. 

There, in his chest, was the melodic thrum that sought to calm her erratic one, calling her home to him in the cold night air. 

“Breathe, Petal,” he commanded, and she felt a rush of air fall from her lungs as she remembered once more to do the most simple of human tendencies. His arms laced around her back, where the soft tracing of his fingers along her spine brought her back into herself. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried, a prick of tears falling despite her best efforts to appear unaffected. 

He hummed in response. 

“Stay with me,” he whispered, and she felt her joints loosen as she molded herself further into his embrace. 

“I want to,” she replied, voice unsteady. “Sugar, please just hold me.”

He melted into her, a pool of warmth overtaking him as he absorbed her nickname. He kissed her forehead, her temples, everywhere his mouth could spread some of the sweetness.

After long, she hummed a satisfied sound through her lips, and her hips began rocking against him. He laid her back down, his eyes searching hers before the corner of his mouth ticked into a smirk. 

“You with me?” he asked, his smirk becoming a full grin as she bucked further toward him, desperate and wanting. He was back, the ever-changing prince who within a blink of an eye could transform the room into his sensual paradise. 

August’s hand skimmed up her calf and back between her thighs, resting up against her heat. 

“August,” she panted, and he chuckled darkly, the scar over his eye almost glowing in the moonlight. 

“I told you that’s not my name,” he warned, sliding his fingers into her wet folds. 

“Seokjin,” you said, his name caught in your throat as he continued moving.

“Good girl,” he coaxed, two of his fingers covering the edges of your clit as he began rolling it under his touch. 

“Fuck.” 

The wooden beams were gone. Now it was the familiar white plaster that you often looked at, trying to remember what constellations were above during what season, though you could never see the stars anyway in this part of the city. 

Seokjin pulled himself up off the chamber bed, though the chamber was hazy, almost pixelated as you realized around you it was not the chamber of August and his beloved, but your small bedroom. 

“Focus,” he commanded, and your eyes flashed over to Seokjin, who was naked and sweaty, his chest flush like it was when you’d seen him before. His fingers roamed over your calf and he lifted you leg at an angle, exposing your pussy to the cool air. 

Seokjin licked his lips and began swirling his fingers around your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. 

“You gonna be good for me?” he asked and you moaned an affirmative as you felt the first of his fingers tip into you. 

“Nuh uh, use your words, Y/N.” 

You opened your mouth to beg but found no words could come out. He cocked his head, confused. Seokjin reached over to touch your face. You felt nothing. 

“What–”

The plop of the book hitting the floor jars you awake. At some point in reading, you must’ve dozed off, your world and the book world merging into a hot, overwhelming dream that has your heart racing. 

He’s in your mind again, Seokjin. And it really is all your fault. Because you’ve spent the rest of your weekend and the first half of this week texting him with a plan to put this After Dark stream into place, an idea that you hadn’t really thought through before proposing to him. 

You know you want this, to feel at ease in your body and confident to hold your own on streams. Especially since the option to quit is becoming less and less of an option. This week, your university confirmed your withdrawal, meaning that for the next few months you’ll be focusing on streaming and working more shifts at the restaurant to try and replenish your income for the summer term. 

And that also means you’ll be seeing Seokjin a lot more often. Your stomach does a tiny flip just thinking about it. 

Now with him being around you everywhere, all the time, your subconscious has been drifting to dreams of him, and every waking thought is somehow finding a way to wiggle him in. At the market this morning, you were walking through the produce section where you noticed a large pile of mangoes on sale. Does Seokjin like mangoes? you’d wondered. That shirt on the mannequin would look good on Seokjin. That dog looks like the one in the old picture in Seokjin’s office. What would Seokjin think about this recurring ad? 

It’s becoming relentless. So much so that you also find yourself asking him random questions to take the edge off. 

Me 1:47PM: Thoughts about fruit on pizza. 

Seokjin 1:50PM: Are you asking because we are having pizza later?

Me 1:51PM: No I was just wondering

Me 1:51PM: Unless you want that later? I can get us some 

Me 1:51PM: I’ll pay

Seokjin 1:51PM: No you will not! I’ll pay

Seokjin 1:53PM: Also depends on the kind of fruit

Seokjin 1:53PM: Never had blueberries on pizza. 

Seokjin 1:54PM: But I would maybe try it. Pineapple is fine though.

Seokjin 1:55PM: I’ll pick up the pizza on the way over. Be there at 6. 

Seokjin agreed to stop by today to do some roleplay exercises for you to practice before your stream later tonight. He thought it was important that you run through the full scale of situations you might be presented with so you could say no firmly but without risking losing your viewership, two things equally at odds with each other for you most of the time. 

You look for your phone in the mess of your couch cushions, assuming that at some point in your impromptu nap, it slunk down between the crack. Sure enough, you find it nestled between two cushions, the comfort of its weight in your hand dismissing some of the panic when you see it’s only 4:30. He hasn’t texted, which means he hasn’t canceled.

You remember from his stream last week that he maintains a tempered persona, never giving too much or too little away to his viewers. He’d exuded such self control. Is he always like that? 

You know he mostly keeps it together at work, but that amount of restraint shocks you. You’re always wondering what it is that will make him snap. Sure, you’ve seen him annoyed, or occasionally yelling at your coworkers, but never rageful. Never out of control. That just isn’t Seokjin. 

Determined to keep your hands busy while you wait for him to arrive, you busy yourself tidying, though your apartment is scarily clear because you’ve been frantically cleaning all day. You walk into the kitchen, a small, narrow room that has never been very welcoming as a cooking space. Your old, banged up fridge has dents from where the door has opened too quickly and rocketed into the oven handle, leaving a jagged, metal scar on the surface.

When you’d first moved in, you didn’t understand how something could be so damaged, but within the first week, it became apparent how heavy and quickly the door swung into it, probably because the floors, and thus everything else, doesn’t sit exactly level in the space, meaning that everything that you bake comes out at an angle, and everything else always falls to one side of the pan, making things uneven. Every time you use your rolling pin, you have to place it on an oven mitt or else you risk it rolling into the large gap between the countertop and the wall. 

Your apartment is one that you’ve done your best to uplift. While your kitchen is somewhat of a hellhole, with a buzzing fluorescent light that sounds almost like it’s mocking you when you dare to cook anything in it, the rest of your space has some sense of charm to it. 

There’s a large window facing the back parking lot of the building, which some may find less exciting because it isn’t exuding some Instagram-worthy backdrop of urban living, but you benefit from the fact that there’s a large, undeveloped lot in your view, with some plum trees that will bloom in the next few weeks, and the soft chartreuse green that ushers in the early spring grasses is slowly starting to brighten in hue. 

Some summer nights, you crack your window and hear the loud chattering of cicadas and birds as they rustle through the trees, and it helps to distract from the usual traffic noises that ricochet off the other buildings around you. 

You have some small herbs growing on the windowsill, as well as some salvaged green onion ends you’d tossed into an empty yogurt pot with soil and let take off. A sad excuse for a dining table is propped against it with two mismatched chairs. 

An oversized, well-loved, brown couch you got for a steal from one of those local posting groups takes up a large chunk of your living room, which will probably have to be sawed in half to get out of your space if you ever move. It weighs a ton and you can’t even shuffle it into a better angle toward your television, which has resulted in one side of the couch being further worn-down and frumpy from the creases of you sitting in the same spot day after day. The other side usually houses a variety of character plushies and a large pink knit blanket you swaddle yourself in regularly. Today, everything is given a place, and the blanket is folded and resting on the back of the couch. 

The rest of your apartment is a collection of stuff: some mismatched bookshelves shoved into one corner with all your smutty reads and figurines, postcards and repurposed mailers you’ve collaged into some type of wall art, and Barry, your Big Mouth Bass that knows one song and one song only: “Take Me to the River”. 

Due to your lack of space in your cozy apartment, your desk and gaming set-up are in your room. During streams, you tote out a collapsible green screen to give yourself at least some privacy, but behind the screen is your bed you’ve cluttered with some throw pillows, a dresser whose drawers are so warped they don’t fully close, the nightstand which hides your collection of sex toys, and that’s about it. As the months have progressed, your schoolwork has moved from being the main event on the desk to now being crammed into the shallow drawers beneath. Beyond that, your PC and streaming supplies take up the rest of the space in your room. 

After fussing with everything for a whole ten minutes, you retreat from your bedroom, heading into the hellscape kitchen to stare at the groceries you’ve just bought. 

A jar of kimchi, some beets, and a comically large bag of carrots you impulse bought greet you. You sigh. Yes, this is what you’ll have to do to make time pass. Pulling the items from the fridge, you shuffle around to gather your cutting board from its slot next to the microwave, and find your good knife set in the drawer. 

One of the conditions you were given upon being hired at the restaurant was to purchase your own set of knives. “It teaches you how to respect the tools before you. Having pride in your knives ensures you’ll serve food with pride,” Mr. Kim had told you. 

When you shared that knowledge with Seokjin he snorted. “It ensures you’ll not damage our own knives that he’s too cheap to replace is what he means.” 

Regardless, you now own a decent quality set of cutting knives, perfect for what you need them for. You scrub and lightly peel the carrots to trim away the dirt and uneven shapes adorning the outside.

Then, you begin your setup, placing your cutting board with a kitchen towel near the end to catch any rollaway carrots you’re bound to encounter during your task. You snag a large bowl, a rubber jar grip to keep the cutting board in place, and your Chef’s knife from your knife set. You chop up the kimchi and beets, doing a tiny bit of prep by cutting those for later in the week. Then, you begin with the carrots. 

You pull from the washed pile and grip your knife, and remember what Seokjin taught you: cut the rounded edge off the carrot so it sits flat on the board. You slice again, then again, stacking the pieces before cutting in the next direction until a pile of neat matchsticks lay before you. 

No chaos erupting in the kitchen, no pieces flinging to the floor or a semi-concussion. Just you, the yellow glow of the humming light, and your carrots. You begin the next one. Then again. It’s almost addicting, like the affirmation that you are capable of this, of anything, has started to warm something inside of you. 

When was the last time you felt this confident and assured? Felt like you were growing in the right direction? In school, you were used to doing fairly well and understanding the material, but this is different somehow. This is you seeing the results as they pile higher into the bowl. You reach for another and another, washing the rest of the carrots and scrubbing them before continuing. Your hands are now properly stained, the beet juice, gochugaru, and carrot juice making your hands look like you are bleeding, but you don’t care. The ache from your grip, the loud thumping at the door, they don’t mean anything in this moment when it’s you feeling the give of the vegetable as it splits into finer pieces. 

“Y/N?!! HELLO ARE YOU OKAY?” 

A familiar voice bellows from the hall, another sharp thunk hitting the metal door. Seokjin. 

Your eyes rip to the clock on the oven. It’s already five minutes past six. You’ve been cutting carrots for about an hour. 

Hastily, you rinse your hands, ignoring the sting as the cold water spurts from the faucet. You grab the kitchen towel off the oven handle, and rush to the door.

You barely have it unlocked before Seokjin barges in, two large pizza boxes and a six pack of beer in his hands as he steps over the threshold. He smells faintly of mint and eucalyptus. 

Seokjin whips in your direction, scanning his eyes over your face and down your body. 

“Are you hurt? Are you okay?” His eyes are wide, his pupils blown out as he fervently looks you up and down, gasping as he takes in your hands. “What happened?”

“What? No, no I’m fine!” You hold one hand up in his direction, taking the kitchen towel and rubbing it into your palm for good measure. “They’re stained. Um, I was cutting vegetables.”

His eyes flit to the direction of the kitchen, where the light is still on and buzzing, and you can just make out the chopping board on the counter. Now assured you’re not injured, Seokjin recovers, stepping out of his shoes and padding into the kitchen.

“Whoa, you really were going to town in here with the carrots weren’t you? I thought I could smell it on you.” 

Your cheeks flood with heat. “Well, you said I had to practice.” 

Seokjin chuckles, shaking his head in amusement before holding up the six pack. “Uh, I brought beer. I don’t know if you like it or not but I feel like it goes really well with pizza.” 

You smile. “I’m not sure if getting me wasted is the solution to setting boundaries with my stream. Doesn’t alcohol lower your inhibitions?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Are you planning on finishing off this entire six pack by yourself and getting trashed? Much less beer that is…” He squints at the packaging. “...four percent alcohol?” 

You laugh. “No, I suppose not. Thank you.” You take the case from his hands and pluck two bottles from the cardboard before putting the rest in the fridge. Holding the cold bottle in your hands, you grimace. 

“What’s wrong? Do you not like this brand?” Seokjin asks. 

You shake your head. “No, it’s not that. Um, I don’t really drink often so I don’t actually own a bottle opener.” 

Seokjin frowns and looks around your kitchen, grazing his hand along the chipped laminate counters. Then he takes the bottle in his hand and whacks it down on the counter edge on an angle. The cap pops off, a subtle wisp of fog puffing from the top. He smirks, proud. He gestures for you to hand him your bottle. 

With ease, he pops off the second cap and deposits it back into your hands. 

Your jaw hangs slack. “Wh-how did you do that?” you ask. 

He chuckles. “There’s a science to it, angles. I’m just glad I didn’t take a chunk of the counter with me. I’ve done that before.” 

“And you risked my counter top just now?” 

He snorts. “Come on, did anything happen? A little bit of trust would be nice, Y/N.” He glances at the giant bowl of cut carrots. “Well, you’ve certainly improved. What are you going to make with all those?” 

You pull your lips into a thin line. You hadn’t thought about it. Your silence seems to tip Seokjin off to that as well, because after a sip of beer, he sets his bottle on the back end of the counter, rolling up his sleeves and scooting over to the sink to wash his hands. 

“What are you doing?” you ask. 

“Cooking,” he replies simply. “Do you have flour? Green onions?” 

You nod. “Okay, get those. I’ll also need some soybean paste if you have it, vegetable oil, salt, and sugar.” 

You furrow your brows. You know this recipe from the restaurant. “You’re making jeon? But, we already have pizza.” 

“We can have the pizza as an appetizer. Jeon will be the main course.”  

You laugh. “How much do you think I eat?” 

“Not much. But you see, I am very hungry.” Heat shoots to your core. You glance over at Seokjin, who is looking at you amused as he squeezes the carrots between his hands to wring out the excess juice.

You didn’t really notice before, but Seokjin looks effortlessly cool, a loose pink linen button down framing his broad shoulders. He’s left the top two buttons undone, exposing the white t-shirt he wears underneath. Lighter wash jeans cover his strong thighs. If a stranger ever passed him on the street, they might think he’s too cool for them, too serious or vain.

But, there are notes of him everywhere in this outfit that suggests the break in the persona. One of the buttons in the middle of his shirt has popped open, a few hairs on the back of his head are cowlicked out of place, and on his feet are a pair of neon green Chikorita Pokemon socks. You find it impossible to hide your amusement. 

“Ah, got it. Nice socks by the way,” you joke, trying to distract from the singing heat and close proximity. You can’t help but think about the last time you and Seokjin were in such confined spaces and how that ended up. “Didn’t know you were going to use your feet later to guide an airplane into landing.” 

“Well, I figured it was a necessary backup in case your hands weren’t bright enough.” He nods toward you. You laugh. 

“Touché.” 

You open your upper cabinet. The paper bag of flour sits on the middle shelf, which you usually climb onto the counter to reach, but with Seokjin in the kitchen, there’s even less space than usual. You stretch, lifting onto your tiptoes. Your fingertips brush the bag, but it’s not enough to move it. As you try to angle yourself better, you see two large hands come above yours, Seokjin easily grabbing the flour off the shelf to set down onto the counter. 

You feel his body heat behind you, his shirt brushing the small of your back from where your own rode up during your stretch, and a swell of goosebumps rise on your arms from the gentle tickle. 

“There,” Seokjin says softly into your ear, almost breathless. “Don’t want to have any more kitchen related incidents, do we?” Too soon, he moves away, his warmth, the subtle note of his cologne fading into the smell of the green onions he’s set next to your not-so-glorious prep space. 

Suddenly, he scoffs. You turn toward him. “What?”

“Really, Y/N? Have you learned nothing?” The heat in your core immediately dissipates, welcoming a familiar sour stroke of shame as you try to put together what you’ve missed. How did you fuck this up? What haven’t you learned? When you focus on what he’s pointing at, you realize he isn’t angry. He’s teasing you. 

Your knife is unsheathed on the cutting board, abandoned in your haste to let him in. “When are you ever going to learn basic kitchen safety?” he laughs. The prick of embarrassment dissolves, Seokjin’s laugh soothing the ache.

You smile and shrug. “In my defense, I didn’t have the time to put it away or in the sink because you were disturbing the peace by practically breaking my door down.” 

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “Well excuse me for wanting to ensure your safety. Now where’s that soybean paste?”

Seokjin had been sitting on, or practically in your couch for the last twenty minutes as you ran through various scenarios and questions you were likely to experience while streaming. Your old couch was comfy, but as you’d practiced longer, he felt he was shrinking, the cushions settling further and further down. That, he thought, was probably going to hurt to climb out when the time came. 

Despite the size and outdated condition your apartment was in, he was fascinated with how you’d chosen to decorate it, as if everything had its own place. You had an impressive collection of colorful books on a bookshelf, framed in with little knick-knacks and figurines of your favorite characters or collectibles. One large sunny window was decorated with stickers that acted as prisms, sending rainbow beams across your floor at a certain point in the day. A photo of a very young you and two people he assumed were your parents leaning against a guard rail over a canyon was framed and hung next to a giant plastic fish. 

No, you didn’t have much. It was clear you’d thrifted or trash picked most of the furniture in your apartment, with the exception of your computer setup. You’d taken him into your bedroom to show him what system you used, how you’d built your system based on the specifications of your mod, who Seokjin now knew, was also your best friend Wonwoo. 

But Seokjin couldn’t help but revel in how well cared for and cozy this small place was, so different from the cold floors of his own apartment. It reminded him of the tiny place he used to live in with his parents. It was familiar, safe. 

When he’d come in, he did worry something was wrong. You weren’t one to not answer, attentive in the restaurant to everyone, often whipping your head in someone’s direction the second you heard the first sound of your name slip through someone’s lips. When you didn’t answer, he’d wondered if you’d been injured or worse. As much as he tried not to judge your building, he was a little concerned about the safety precautions put in place. He’d walked straight in, no lock on the front door, no door man. Everyone’s names were blatantly listed on their mailboxes. If anyone wanted to find you, it wouldn’t be hard to do so. 

But you were fine, and the acrid worry that had bloomed in him during those five minutes of you not answering had dissolved once he saw your bright smile, and the even brighter colored stains on your hands. 

They were still blotchy, though a few runs under the sink with dish soap was helping them fade. As you feathered a hand through your hair, he found himself grinning. The fact that you had acquired a bulk bag of carrots and used them for practice was so endearing to him. He never doubted your dedication to work, but the fact that you were using the techniques he taught you in your kitchen had brightened something in Seokjin he hadn’t even known felt dark. 

And he also couldn’t ignore the sense of pride he had as you practically moaned into the jeon you two had made together, the crispy texture and roll of hot oil over your tongue invoking something in you Seokjin couldn’t help but be drawn to. You loved to eat. It was one of the first things he noticed about you, and as creepy as it sounded, also what stoked those first wisps of attraction. 

You loved food the way he did, without care, or at least without care the way most people who he was raised around cared. No, you didn’t eat a lot, but when you did, you were all in, bare hands sticky after eating peaches, their juice dribbling down your chin and forearms, joyful hums when you bit into your favorite crunchy snacks from the convenience store. 

He remembered growing up the ways in which women, even his mother, were almost afraid of food, afraid of how they would spend hours in the kitchen making heaps of it, pounds of fresh kimchi, grilled fish, decadent soups with tofu and mushrooms and packets of ramyeon, and yet when it was time to eat, they were too busy too or suddenly not hungry, or they would eat a few bites and excuse themselves from the table to clean up. 

It was sad, really. Because Seokjin ate and ate fully, and maybe because he wasn’t a woman he didn’t need to worry about his body that way, or maybe because he always had some insane metabolism that didn’t impose weight like it did with others, but it never hit him the same. He loved food. 

And clearly so did you, delighted in the meal he gave you, even eliciting a groan as you washed down a bite with your beer. It was like you were grateful for every bite of food that ever entered your mouth.

“You were right. This does taste better together,” you said. He was practically beaming. 

He glanced down at the pile of jeon. They weren’t bad, but they were a little uneven. While cooking, he’d noticed that something was a bit off about your kitchen. Your oven and everything else were a bit titled, and it pooled the jeon batter toward one end, making them thicker on one side and harder to cook properly. Your fridge door also was dented, having the similar issue of the weight pushing things to one side. He made a mental note to shove some cardboard under the floor pegs later to help level the appliances. 

Your counter situation, though, he couldn’t help. You would just have to keep with your barricade at the end to avoid rolling. But you seemed to be savvy in how you solved the various erroneous features of your apartment, making the best of what you had. 

In fact, as Seokjin sat in the crook of your massive couch, he noticed why this side was so sunken; it was the only spot you could actually see the TV from this angle. He wondered if he could shuffle it a little bit more in a better view while you were streaming later, or if you would even notice. 

You hovered next to the couch, your bottom lip worried between your teeth. You were nervous about something. 

“What is it?” He asked. The time for your stream was growing nearer, and he’d promised he would stay for at least the first half, setting up his laptop in your living room. 

“What am I doing?” you groaned and flopped down on the floor, a frustrated wail muffling into the carpet. 

“Testing yourself and growing. Listen, Y/N, you know you don’t have to do this, but we’ve been over it daily at this point. You want more money and this is what you’ve decided is the most viable option. After-Dark type streams do make a lot more money, you want to exercise more freedom with yourself, do I need to go on?” 

You shook your head. Seokjin chuckled. 

“Okay, so–yah, sit up!” You bolted off the carpet and folded your legs underneath you. 

“So, you know I’m going to be out here if you need anything. If you need me, I’m just on the other side of that door. Also, we’ve been practicing, right?”

“I know, I just…I’m not like you. I’m not confident, I’m not really easygoing or likable like you are. I can’t dom–command a room or everyone’s attention with my charisma how you can. I’m worried that if I don’t give people what they ask for, they’re just going to leave.”

Seokjin scoffed. He knew that on the outside, in the context of work that you were used to seeing him in, he appeared in charge and control at all times. It was part of the job, to be well tempered and fair and even, maintain a sense of friendliness but firmness, it was common sense. But much of his advice today wasn’t coming from that version of him you knew. A lot of this was insight and experience he’d gained as Jin, who he needed to be to ensure he was meeting his tip goals, or needing to remind everyone he was the one in charge, not them. 

Even at work last week, when Seokjin needed to call the distributor because there was some issue with a shipment of produce, it was Jin he was channeling to make the call. If it were Seokjin, he would have been a sweaty, nervous mess. Jin was business, Jin was the one who laid down the law. Seokjin himself? 

He was the youngest Kim son, the one who, when his parents’ friends and family members thought he wasn’t listening, gossiped about. Why wasn’t he married? Didn’t he have that fiancée for a while? Oh she had a baby with another man? His boss? Well surely that has been long enough now, right? He had another girlfriend, or found some other salaryman career. At 30, it would be kind of sad if his life wasn’t going anywhere. 

And that’s where Seokjin was, after all. Single, a sex worker, or temporary restaurant manager. This morning he’d received a text in the family group chat from his brother with a photo of his nephew kissing his sister-in-law’s bump. He loved his nephew, he loved his brother and was happy for their little family. But he also felt hollow as he opened that picture, like some part of him knew he was never going to truly get to have that for himself. 

“Hey,” he said, and your eyes flitted from the floor back to him. “First of all, if they leave they leave, right? Those aren’t the people you want to be on your streams because their energy sucks and they’ll just keep asking more of you. Second,” he cleared his throat, “you are likable. Otherwise you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place, having viewers and subscribers. There has to be a part of you that is genuine there, otherwise everyone will know you’re lying and move away from you. Don’t they say something about how all the best lies are rooted in truth?” 

“But I’m not trying to lie to them,” you said meekly. 

Seokjin internally kicked himself for saying that. Perhaps suggesting that you lie to everyone wasn’t the best move. 

“I know, I mean, that you don’t offer all of yourself, but offer the parts of you that you know are there that are stable. And for the rest of it, fake it until you make it. Until you can feel confident as a streamer, able to set boundaries. Pretend you’re someone else. The person you want to be.” he amended. 

Jin was some of the best parts of Seokjin. Maybe even better. Self-assured, knowledgeable about sex and sexuality in ways he hadn’t been when he was with Soon Yi, he could say no to things he’d never been able to say no to his boss about, and things he couldn’t say no to now because the restaurant wasn’t technically his. There were things he could do, ways he could slip some power in there or make decisions, but nothing was really his. Not the way streaming was. That was all for him. And while yes, his friends knew he did it and supported him in their own way (thankfully most of them did not tune in but on occasion Jungkook and Taehyung would hop on when completely wasted to goad him to “release the beast”), it was still a success that couldn’t be shared publicly, even though he didn’t really want to share it anyway, and didn’t really feel successful. 

“Is that what you did? Faked it until you made it? Until you were the person you wanted to be?” 

His blood ran cold. Were you reading his thoughts? Did you know? 

“W-what?” 

Oh god, what if you knew? Seokjin would rush out into the night and dig his own grave. Because if anyone else knew what he did, if his parents found out or his brother or you, he was sure he would become the worst parts of himself. A failure again. Once more someone to be quietly gossiped about in rooms when he was in full range of hearing what they had to say. He couldn’t imagine anything more humiliating than you seeing him, your own boss, with a bright pink dildo shoved up his ass as he pandered to thousands of people with whimpers and cries. Especially when he just spent the better half of an hour telling you that you didn’t need to pander to anyone. 

Would you think less of him for it? Would you ask him why he was doing gay streaming of all things? His face flushed, probably turning incredibly red with embarrassment. 

“With the restaurant,” you said. 

He swallowed the thick lump that had formed in his throat and coughed. 

“Y-yes,” he stammered. “What you see there. It’s not really me all the time. I’m not always all that confident. But I want to be.” 

You nodded quietly and stretched your arms over your head. “That makes sense,” you said as you began to pace. “Okay.” 

You still had another two hours before your stream was set to start, and Seokjin could tell you were still on edge. He took a deep breath when you turned away, letting the rush of air into his lungs help cool his face.  

“Seokjin?” you asked.

“Yeah?” 

“Will you stay until it’s over? I know it’ll be late, and it’s a big ask, but maybe we can eat leftover pizza and debrief?” 

He smiled. “Of course.” 

He couldn’t imagine a better way to spend his night, and probably early morning if he was honest. Your streams could go well into the wee hours of the morning, and while tomorrow while opening he’d probably be kicking himself for this, right now he didn’t care about anything except the warm tug he felt in his chest as he imagined the two of you sitting on the floor with cold pizza and laughter at 3a.m. 

“Thank you. Also, do you think we could have another beer or something? I need to take the edge off. I know I’m overthinking it but I need something to distract me before this stream or I might not show up.” 

You didn’t wait for his permission, probably because you weren’t asking for it. You slid into the kitchen and back out with two more cold beers. 

“Will you show me how to open these again? I want to try.” 

Seokjin struggled a bit against the dip of your couch, but eventually found himself level and close to you, so close in fact that the soft scent of your shampoo was once again permeating his nostrils. 

You were intoxicating to him, honestly, and he found himself unable to help himself as he squeezed behind you in your tiny kitchen, inhaling partially into your hair as he walked you through the process. 

You fiddled with the bottle for a second, holding yourself at an awkward angle. 

“Like this?” 

If you did it at this angle, you would be sure to cause the beer to explode, the cap wouldn’t get enough traction to pop off easily. 

“Not unless you want to participate in a wet t-shirt contest,” he joked before he even realized how sexually charged that comment was. 

You inhaled a little sharply. 

He cleared his throat. “Anyway, you’re a little stiff here.” Then, very carefully, he rested his hands onto your hips, gently maneuvering you so you were able to prop your arm up and out of his way so you wouldn’t elbow him in the ribs when you slammed the bottle down. 

He kind of hated himself when he had to let go of your waist. His fingers were tingling simply from brushing them along the seam of your shirt, from feeling the warm curve of your hip under his fingers. Why did his hands feel so at home on your body?

Your sharp movement pushed him out of his reverie as you launched the bottle down onto the counter top, the soft plink and your sparkling eyes confirming you were successful. 

That’s my girl, he thought. Only you weren’t his girl. You couldn’t be further from his. And as soon as he thought it, he also felt the soft ache in his chest knowing that you would probably never be his. Because you couldn’t. Because you were without a doubt too good for him, and Seokjin knew all that stood between you and the right guy was time. An opportunity. You walk into the right place some day and then boom, there he will be. 

He fucking hated that guy already. 

You popped the second cap from the bottle and turned around, shoving your body directly into him as you beamed with pride. “See! I did it!” You looked so adorable, your eyelashes long and fluttering as you gazed up at him. 

A smile cracked through his gloom. You were like a little sunbeam to him. 

“You did,” he acknowledged, and he took the bottle you offered, taking a swig. He waited for you to make the next move, to dislodge your body from the cramped corner of the kitchen, for the magnetic pull of your body to signal it was too close, too intimate so one of you would break away. 

But neither of you did. In fact you sighed and moved closer to him, forcing the small of Seokjin’s back to rest up against the handle bar of the oven. It wasn’t comfortable at all, but he didn’t dare move. 

“Can I ask you something?” You asked quietly after a while, staring down at the bottle. 

“Sure,” he responded. 

You nibbled your bottom lip then sighed again, unsure. He felt your warm exhale hit his forearms. Did you really not realize how close you were to him? The smell of you, even that tiny hit of beer breath, was starting to drive him insane. 

You shifted yourself even closer. 

“Um, it’s going to sound embarrassing to ask this but I just have to.” 

Your voice was low now, a tiny whisper coming out of you. Fuck, you were perfect. 

“Go ahead,” he whispered back, smirking. “I won’t judge you.”

“Okay, um. Are you…are you bi?” 

“Am I by what?” 

You fidgeted uncomfortably and pulled back slightly. You raised your eyebrows. 

“No, not by as in near, I mean bi as in like, you know, bisexual?” You shifted your gaze away, and then Seokjin felt the question sink in. 

He was such a fucking idiot. 

God, this is one of the most awkward interactions you’ve ever had in your life and you feel yourself getting hotter and more embarrassed by the second.

Standing in your tiny cramped kitchen, you decided now for no good reason was the best time to ask Seokjin if he’s bisexual. Or really if he’s gay. Because you need to know. Need answers. Or a confirmation that will help kill this crush for good because as of tonight? It’s much, much worse. 

Something about watching him cook earlier, specifically in your kitchen, did something to you. The way he touched your hips to show you how to do that beer opening trick, how he looked slumped into your couch, the way he hovered over your bookshelves and belongings with curiosity, and laughed hysterically over Barry once he pressed the button. 

He fits here. In your apartment. It isn’t just some stupid fantasy version of him you could imagine. He is real and beautiful and fits into this corner of your life like a perfect puzzle piece. 

And if he’s gay, if there’s no chance that he can give you even the fantasy of this, then it all needs to stop. But it’s also so unfair for you to ask this of him. What if he’s not out? What if you’re forcing him to come out and no one knows and all because your insatiable horniness led you to a gay streaming site where you found him now his livelihood and privacy are technically in jeopardy?

Fuck. You can’t do that to him. And suddenly you’re aware of what you just did, how uncool this was for you to just out and ask. Heat claws into your throat as you sit in this shock of silence, clamping down on your airway and leaving your voice in a reedy wheeze as you try to take back your inquiry.

“I–I’m sorry, you don’t need to answer! I’m out of line. Really, I shouldn’t have even asked. Jesus, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you splutter, heart beating erratically, a line of perspiration beginning to form at the back of your neck at an insane speed. How humiliating. 

“Whoa, whoa, it’s okay. Relax. Breathe,” Seokjin says. You force a ragged inhale but find yourself coughing, gasping to try to find air in this room that is too small and a million degrees warmer. 

You are standing in the hallway outside of the bathroom, rasping for air into your lungs. Your mother has just come home from work, shouting about how you haven’t remembered to take the chicken out of the freezer or done any of the chores she’d asked you to while she was gone. 

The day has gotten away from you, a hot summer that is so oppressive no one even wants to go outside. You would get all she asked of you done and more before she returned home. The chicken would be thawed, you’d vacuum and mop the floors, would even wipe down the bathroom sink from all the hair she and your father left in it during his morning shave. 

And then you would go to your friend’s house tonight, for the sleepover you’ve been dreaming of, eat lots of candy that her father would bring home from work that yours never let you have. You could tell her about the boy whose parents own the convenience store at the end of the street, and how all summer you’ve been finding an excuse to run up to the shop with your allowance to get a pack of gum or snacks or a can of iced tea you would have to chug outside before you even walked home anyway. 

You start junior high this fall. Your period started this spring. Everything around you is changing. Your legs are stocky and getting fuller. Hair is starting to grow everywhere. Your breasts are no longer flat on your chest and while you know all of this is happening, you know why and what is going to happen, that doesn’t change how awful all this feels. Your baby fat isn’t baby fat anymore, and the oils of your skin, your hair, your smell? It all is changing so fast and you hate it. You want to hide. And at least having this boy down the street to talk to, Wonwoo, who makes you feel less like you want to crawl outside of yourself. 

Him, and all the books you’ve been reading. Ones where they’re older, girls who you’ll be like soon. Who go to school, and date and have families with problems just like your family has problems. Who run into the woods and fall in love with other families. Who find belonging. There’s comfort there, and that’s why despite all your promises to make the house clean for your mom this morning, you forgot. Because you’d fallen into the world of your book. 

And now, your mother has told you that you can’t go to your sleepover anymore. Can’t get away from the house and the heat and your body and the ongoing argument you know your parents are having about finances that they shout about when you’re in the shower and they think you can’t hear them. You can’t eat fun secret snacks or talk about boys or pretend for a second that this isn’t your life. Because it is.  

Your throat closes up, the dim lights of the hallway outside the bathroom feel like they’re flickering. 

“I told you. I reminded you multiple times! Now we don’t have dinner. Unless you’d like to think of something?” She strips off her stockings, balling them up in her fist. “Unless you want to go out there and buy some expensive meal for us tonight?” 

Shame. This is it in its purest form. How wrong you are for not helping. For spending the whole day in your fantasy world with your new friends, ones who aren’t real. All your mother asked for was such simple things, and yet you are unable to just do what she asks. 

“When your father gets home, you can tell him why there’s no dinner ready.” 

Hot tears sting your eyes and you gasp for air. Your father? If he’s having a hard day today, if his boss or his co-workers didn’t recognize him for that presentation he spent all those late nights at the dinner table preparing, you know how this will end. Your father is a fair man, but even he has his limits. 

And sometimes that means that the things you love, the things that you covet, they go missing. Precious dolls that you’ve had over the years have disappeared when you were being careless with them, leaving them around in the hallway for him to step on. Once,  you left your birthday gift from your aunt, a purple Skip-It, on the sidewalk during a Spring rain shower and when you went to bring it in, it had vanished. 

You’d found it in the garbage bin, the ankle loop and cord snapped into pieces. 

When your father gets home, he’ll go for your book. He knows just which one it is. You had started it last night and he asked you about it. 

You push off the wall of the hallway, swallowing the bile down your throat. You have to hide it, to take it somewhere. 

You want to leave. Your eyes dart around the room. Anywhere but here, you can’t let him see how much more embarrassing it is now that he knows you’re anxious. A lump in your throat continues to constrain the air. You can feel your pulse in it, pulling acid up from the depths of your stomach. 

You rip another breath from your chest and try to propel yourself across the room, across the universe, but your feet won’t budge. Your muscles are locked in this bump of panic, leaden and unyielding. 

Somewhere in the fuzziness, Seokjin has moved but already returned, and you feel a set of cool hands on your cheeks as he comes into focus, gently stroking behind your ears and saying something to you. 

“–ow that it’s hard but I need you to breathe, Y/N. Breathe with me. Can you do that?”

His face is concerned, and it twists your stomach even further. He shouldn’t be doing this. You should remember how to fucking breathe on your own. But then again, isn’t that why he’s here anyway? Because you can’t do shit on your own? Can’t hold boundaries, can’t stay in school or keep it together. Can’t live somewhere nicer where you don’t smell the stomach-turning stench of the sink’s old plumbing next to you, metallic and stale. And definitely can’t even remember how to mind your business or breathe like a person. 

You rush down the hall, into the living room, snapping the book off the couch. You shove it behind a cushion. 

Your father walks in the door, and from the look on his face, you can tell the presentation didn’t go well. 

“What’s all this?” he snaps, and gestures to the left-out vacuum and the bucket of water you’d gathered earlier. All the bubbles from the soap have long popped, leaving a heavy, sickening floral scent in the room from the solution. 

“I, oh–”

“Your daughter spent all day reading instead of doing her chores. So unless you have a McDonald’s hamburger in your briefcase, we have nothing for dinner.” Your mother interjects, huffing as she heads into your parents bedroom and slams the door behind her.  

Your father’s eyes narrow, and this is how it begins. He and your mother slamming, stomping, hitting, and crashing in every interaction they have with an inanimate object around you.

He chucks his suitcase onto the table of the small dining area, then whips open the fridge door a few feet away. 

“Y/N, come here.” 

You tiptoe in behind him, needing desperately to do the opposite of him, to show that you aren’t mad that they’re mad. That you understand exactly what you did wrong. 

But it doesn’t matter, does it? They’re going to show you anyway. He moves aside and you peer into the fridge. 

“What do you see in there?” he asks, restrained. 

“Um, some celery, lettuce, dressing, milk…”

He growls, indicating that this isn’t the right answer. You’re wrong again. “Food, Y/N. This is food. That your mother and I work hard to put on the table so you can sit around and read your books. Food that needs to be eaten. Do you understand?” 

You say nothing. You know the question is rhetorical. 

“So, when we ask so little of you to simply take the food out of the freezer or fridge and thaw it, how can it be so hard? Hm? Here let me show you.” 

He reaches in, and begins pulling and pulling the veggies, marinades, dressings, milk, eggs, cheeses and meats, and crowding the counter top. You’re frozen, unable to walk away, to ask him to stop. 

When he’s done, he looks at you. 

“See? Not so hard, huh? And if you were helpful to us, none of this would have happened. Honestly, your selfishness sometimes,” he says. “Now, go get me that book of yours. I think you know you haven’t earned it right now.” 

You should go peel it out from under the couch cushions. Should hand it to him, then put all the groceries back away, because you know he’s not going to do it with you here. You should apologize. Accept punishment.

But instead, you’re nauseous and shaking and sobbing. 

He waits expectedly. And then he shoves past you to your room, beginning to hunt through your clothes on the floor, under your bed. 

“Where is it Y/N?” 

You don’t follow him. Instead, you run. You grab the book from behind the cushion, shove your shoes onto your feet and run into the heat of the ending day with it in your hands, the heat from the sidewalk still boiling up underneath you. 

Your parents don’t run out the door or into the street behind you. They stay in your home, possibly putting it back together. But you don’t care. You run, until you see the light of the convenience store and your lungs feel like they’re going to collapse. 

Inside the cool air, Wonwoo is helping his father place drinks from their crates into the refrigerator. His eyes are wide as you plow in. 

You have so much you want to tell him, so much worry in your chest. Your cheeks are hot and your body is sweaty. Nothing is coming out. Just the hum of the fridges, and Wonwoo’s father rushing to get his mother. 

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asks, and you can’t do anything to answer, just stare at his soft face as you well up with tears. You shove the book toward him wordlessly. 

“Y/N, what’s going on?” he asks again, and you inhale steeply but choke on the air. A bubble of saliva clods your tongue. 

“Please, take this. Hide it,” you urge. He holds his hands out and takes the book. 

“Um, okay. Tuck Everlasting, I’ve never read this one.” He looks back up at you and winces. 

“Hey, hey, breathe Y/N. You need to breathe.” 

Seokjin is standing in front of you, coaxing breaths from you, wasting his time after cooking you dinner like it’s something you deserve. Like you’re not just doing all of this anyway because you can’t control yourself to not have feelings for him. Tears singe your eyes and you gasp another shallow breath. 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I promise I’m not mad.” Seokjin breaks through your thoughts, his voice gentle, and almost like he hears you in this silent exchange, some constant that is numbing this spiral. You feel yourself inhale a little more fully as you understand he’s not upset or annoyed. “Good, you’re doing good. Let’s breathe another breath, okay?” 

You can’t look away. Even if you wanted to, Seokjin’s touch is keeping you focused completely on him, his soft and kind eyes, his plush lips that he’s holding in a slight frown that won’t shake. One that you can tell is worry. 

“Another breath, sweetheart. Good, good girl. That’s really good, Y/N. Okay, keep doing that for a second okay?” One hand releases from your cheek, and you find yourself pressing harder into the other, needing him to touch you and keep guiding you back, needing that security of him. 

He doesn’t move it away, in fact he pushes himself closer, holds the weight of you in his palm tenderly, and then you see in your periphery what he moved to get: a glass of water. 

“I want you to take three small sips of this for me, okay? Slowly.” He holds the rim of the cup up to your lips, tilting it slightly. You open your mouth slightly, letting a trickle of cold water flood into the hot cavern of your mouth, extinguishing so much of the tight, fiery panic that moves through the rest of your body. 

You do as he says, sipping and swallowing slowly until he pulls the glass away and sets it down behind you. 

“You with me?” he whispers, and you breathe. 

“Yes,” you say. 

“Can I touch your arm?”

You’re not sure why he’s asking, so you knit your brow and gaze up at him, confused. 

“What?”

“Can I touch your arm? I want to move us out of the kitchen and into your bedroom if that’s okay?” His voice is still quiet, and you realize that the hum of the light is so loud it’s almost drowning him out, almost drowning you again. 

Your eyes flash wide and you nod. You see him relax a little, and slowly Seokjin untangles the web of your bodies away from the kitchen, into the cool air of your living room. Why is it so cold? 

Seokjin guides you through it, and through the doorway to your bedroom. Before you even realize it, he’s unbuttoning his pink shirt and draping it over you. 

“Is this okay? You’re shaking.” 

You go to tell him yes, of course it’s okay, and then notice your teeth are gritted tight from trying not to chatter. 

You take another breath. “Yes,” you squeak. 

He pulls down the duvet and gestures for you to sit. “I’m going to put this blanket on you so I can help you warm up.” You feel the soft, heavy weight and start to feel a little better. But without Seokjin holding you, tethering you back into your body, you feel like you might float away any second. You shoot him a panicked look and he seems to understand, drawing the blanket back so he is also swaddled in it, the two of you knee to knee as he pinches the blanket closed with his fist. 

“You can touch me if you’d like,” he says, and this, you realize, is what you need. 

You immediately shift forward, putting your face into his white t-shirt, inhaling that minty, fresh cologne he wears. You can feel his chest rising and falling slowly, evenly, and you match your breathing to his, hoping soon your heartbeat slows to the same rate. Your hands twist into his shirt but it’s not enough. You find one of his hands and take it, lacing your fingers together and resting them in your lap. 

The heaviness is nice, stabilizing, but you know you still need something more. 

“Seokjin?” Your voice sounds foreign to you. 

“Yeah?” 

“Will you hold me for a minute?” 

His hand untangles from yours and he moves to place it around your back, but with you two cross legged and facing each other, it’s an awkward embrace. 

“I’m sorry, this is such a weird position. If you’re okay with it, you can sit in my lap? If you want? And then I can just hold you for a second?” 

You nod and sit up, unfolding your legs and wiggling yourself up so you are on his lap. You wrap your legs around his back, then your arms. And then you feel his arms around you, his fingers lazily tracing the length of your spine. 

You feel yourself sinking deeper back into the safety of your body. 

You both sit like this for a long time. So long that you feel yourself starting to grow hazy and sleepy. Seokjin is warm and soft and so soothing. You feel like you’re untangling from a sharp web that has been trapping you for a long time. And when your alarm for your stream goes off, you turn off your phone. 

“You okay?” Seokjin asks and you huff out a sigh. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry for all the dramatics.” You slide yourself out of his grip and flop back onto your bed, propping yourself up on your elbow. 

“What do you mean? You weren’t being dramatic, Y/N, you had a panic attack.” 

“Yeah, over asking you a highly personal question I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry for that too.” 

“I’m not-it’s-look. Panic attacks aren’t ever just one thing. It’s always a compounding of stress and anxiety and other thoughts and feelings. You just came across the one thought or feeling that forced everything to collapse. And I can guess based on how much you’re apologizing, it was probably you doing that shit inside and beating yourself up that knocked all the rest of this stuff down. I told you, I’m not mad. Or insulted that you asked.” 

He goes on. “Which, by the way, I’m not bi or gay. I’m very straight. But that’s not the point. The point is, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You asked me a question. I have a right to choose to answer it or not. So there’s your answer. And also, you are never dramatic to me. Panic attacks are fucking scary; you felt like you were dying, right?” 

You nod. “Drowning, yeah.” 

He gives you a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, those things are no joke. But you came out on the other side of it.”

“Not without your help though. You seem like you know a lot about these when they happen. Do you get them too?” 

He flushes. “Uh, no, I don’t personally. My friend Yoongi has them sometimes. He taught me a lot about how to help him with them. The cold water trick really is from him. And then also when Soon Yi and I were together, she would have them, but those were a bit different.” He looks down at his hands. 

Soon Yi. So that’s her. The person Seokjin has often stopped himself talking about. The one who his parents would occasionally refer to as “that woman” during shifts when he wasn’t around. No one ever said her name, almost like she was some kind of curse and you always were curious why. You assumed she must be the devil incarnate the way his mother would sling a bunch of insults after she was mentioned, but the way Seokjin now says her name so casually, so personally, you aren’t entirely sure if he sees her that way. 

Parents usually carry a greater grudge than their child who was hurt. Your own father has told you on various occasions that the guy you dated for one summer in undergrad, who coincidentally is his barber’s nephew, will never be allowed in his house ever again. Forget the fact that there’s no reason he would be invited over in the first place. Whenever you’re catching up with your parents on the phone, if he has recently visited his barber, he’s sure to bring it up. “Scum is never allowed in my house! He will just drag his filth in with him!”

Thinking of your father and mother right now forces you to wince. Maybe it’s the freshness of these memories, of you realizing now that what happened to you that day as a child wasn’t you being dramatic, as they had insisted even after you’d gotten home. Everything had been put back into place when you’d returned after the sunset, even the bucket and vacuums put away. Your parents never apologized or talked about it again. 

And your friend, she didn’t talk to you after that either, claiming you were flaky and rude for blowing her off. 

Your father doesn’t even refer to your ex by name, similar to Seokjin’s mother. “That Woman”. “Scum”. If there was ever a name tied to these people, it’s clearly gone in the haze of whatever angry frenzy your parents carry. “Scum” also didn’t even do anything wrong. You broke things off with him, but because you came home crying after the breakup, now that is his legacy. 

But Seokjin’s mother, how she behaves, you’re not sure that it’s for the same reasons. You’ve seen firsthand how much she adores her children, and “adoration” is a word you aren’t so sure applies to your family.

Soon Yi, too, it’s clear she was not just a blip on the screen in Seokjin’s life. The hushed, angry chatter between his parents, the way his mother would often get so worked up she would start punching her shoulder and clicking her tongue, saying she needed to go sit down. That’s not a Scum-level relationship. You wonder how close she was to Seokjin. Closer than you two are becoming, clearly. 

“Soon Yi,” you repeat to yourself, still lost in the haze of putting things together.

“Um, my ex.” Seokjin says, and you feel heat rise in your cheeks as you realize he heard you. “We were engaged. For a while.” 

“Oh.”

You want to ask how long he means by a while? Did they break up right before you joined the restaurant? Or was this from many years ago? It’s odd in a way to think of how Seokjin has lived a completely different life from the time before you knew him. He loved someone, enough to marry them, to start a life together, to know she had panic attacks and how to help her. 

Did he place her in his lap the same way he did with you? Did he sit with her in the dull winter light of their bedroom and talk like this? 

He had to have. Why wouldn’t he? Your stomach dips. Were you under some impression that this thing you’re experiencing–the closeness of his body, the soft thrum of his heart, that tiny whistle in his throat that breaks through the room as he speaks–would be special?   

The dim light of the lamp on your bedside table makes the deep browns of his eyes look even darker, and he watches you as you stretch your legs out in front of you, your foot shifting a bit to rest up against his thigh. His eyes flicker toward it and then back to you.

“How, when did you guys break up? I didn’t know you were engaged,” you ask gently. He sighs, and then slumps a bit, the careful, rigid posture he was holding for so long finally loosening a bit with his exhale. He bends his knees and pulls his legs up, glancing to the other side of your bed. 

You pat the spot next to you, turning over so he knows it’s no imposition. 

And it’s not, not in the slightest. If you weren’t so fried and exhausted after that panic attack, your brain might try to imbue some innuendo into this moment, but for now, this is all you can do, and you want that ache in your stomach to go away. You want to feel like this is special. 

Seokjin flops down into the pile of oddball plushies and pillows next to you and you snort, smiling as he carefully tucks the plushie he smashed in his landing into his arms. 

“I’m sure my parents have talked about her enough times for you to know everything,” he scoffs. 

“Not really. I didn’t know her name. I just thought she was some girlfriend you had that she hated because she was keeping you away from her. You know, the same way your mother also says that the really old lady down the road who sells flowers keeps your dad away from her.”

He smirks at this, and his fingers rove over the marble eyes of the plushie. 

“My mother would blame the sun if it kept her family away from her. She’s been messaging the group chat nonstop for updates from my hyung’s wife about the pregnancy. And she’s supposed to be somewhere in Iceland right now on a cruise. Honestly I wish she would just enjoy herself.” 

“Well, she cares. About you especially. Which is maybe why she didn’t air all of your business to me when I was mopping the floors and she counted down the drawers. She just would say that I would be better than “That Woman” but I think she might think anyone would be better than her.” 

“She said that to you? Ugh, eomma.”

She did, one late night, when Seokjin left early for “something urgent”. His mother alleged that he was dating a secret new girlfriend that he kept under wraps. 

“Honestly, he acts as if I’m going to eat her alive or something. Tsk. That son of mine, both he and his brother are going to send me to an early grave. Behind my back like this when I’m getting older by the minute. Ever since he and that woman broke up, he shut down. I tried to set him up with someone and he kept saying no! That he would find someone. But if she was any better than the others, wouldn’t he have brought her around by now,” she’d said.  

She slammed some coins back into the register. You jumped at the sound. 

She sighed. “You know what he needs? Someone like you. Someone with vision! That woman never had any of that. So much more focused on status. You’re not like that Y/N. I can tell. And that’s exactly why I hired you. You can’t teach someone that as an adult. They either have it or don’t, and you. You’ve got exactly it.” 

You didn’t really know what “it” was, but you didn’t argue, and soon she moved on to complain about something else. 

Now, knowing Seokjin’s secret, you think you know where he went that night, and it definitely wasn’t to go hide in his lover’s house. Chances were, he was streaming. And that also would explain why he shut down on her so quickly. You can’t imagine Mrs. Kim’s reaction if she found out Seokjin was a gay cam streamer. Despite being straight.  

It dawns on you. You’d been so distracted with that panic attack that you forgot already that Seokjin is in fact interested in women. Solely. Enough to have been engaged to one. 

“But, back to your story,” you prod, trying to distract yourself from the fact that now none of this feels like just friends sharing. Seokjin hisses in some air as if he agrees. 

“Right. Well, Soon Yi and I were together really in college and on. We started dating really young. Just two kids. And then we just kind of stuck together? She and I were together for a long time before I got the nerve to propose. And then…” He trails off, his face now a deeper blush. Is he embarrassed? 

You lick your lips, ready to tell him he doesn’t have to share, but he waves his hand to quiet you. 

“She cheated on me. With my boss. We were in the midst of planning the wedding and everything. I was supposed to get this big promotion at the end of some large conferences. But, I don’t know. We had grown apart. Suddenly we didn’t see eye-to-eye on anything.”

Your jaw drops, caught on that larger detail. “She cheated on you with your boss? After all that time? God, Seokjin, I'm so sorry. That’s awful.”

He smiles and nods. “That’s not even the worst part,” he says. His smile grows bigger, like this is some huge joke. “She cheated on me multiple times with him while I was away. And I caught them. Uh, you know. On my dining room table when I came back early to surprise her. I did not get the promotion by the way. But, she actually has a baby, or I guess a toddler, with him now. I heard she’s pregnant again, they’re married. It’s all some surreal life. And now I’m here.” 

“Um, you’re right, it was worse than that.” You’re really not sure what to say. Seokjin’s becoming harder to read by the second, turning this conversation into some big joke when it’s not really funny to you on your end. Maybe he’s processed it enough by now, but based on how tightly he’s now squeezing your alpaca plushie, you would wager that he doesn’t really find it funny either. 

“Is this,” you take a breath. “Is this why the other night you said you were a failure? Because of what happened with Soon Yi?” 

“Partly. I mean, it’s not like I did too great of a job keeping her satisfied. She clearly found other ways to do that.” He laughs darkly. 

“That’s not how that works you know,” you say. His eyebrows lift. 

“What do you mean?”

“What you just said. Keeping her satisfied. Isn’t it the job of being a human to keep ourselves satisfied? Find things with meaning and joy? It’s not your fault that she chose to do that. To cheat on you, to not be honest when she started feeling differently. She could have told you at any point. Did she?” 

He sighs. “Not really, no. Soon Yi wasn’t great at communicating with me about things like that. For so long, we just knew what the other person needed. Because we’d been together since we were so young, we had come up with some other kind of language. And my friends, too, they were in on it. She was not always going to tell someone how she felt but she would show them. For Jungkook’s 21st birthday she threw him an “American Stereotype” themed birthday which he was always obsessing over from the videos. Bought a bunch of red solo cups, they played that Miley Cyrus song and bought a bunch of discounted Fourth of July partyware. She was one of us.”

Even now, despite everything, Seokjin is speaking so kindly about someone who hurt him. And honestly, it throws you. You are so used to the men you’ve been around talking so poorly of their exes that you didn’t know someone could experience such a negative thing and not immediately resort to extreme name calling. 

That’s just how good Seokjin is. Enough to not be mad at you for asking questions, for panicking. Enough to speak kindly about others even if it might be eating at him. 

“That doesn’t mean it was your fault though,” you stifle a yawn. He cocks an eyebrow. 

“Maybe we should shelve this conversation for another time,” he says. 

“No, no, I want to hear. I want to know all of it.”

“You were supposed to start your scheduled stream an hour ago.” 

“Change of plans. I’m not streaming tonight.”

“Do your subs know that?” 

“Don’t call them that. They’re subscribers not subs. Sub is something you do.”

Jesus. Please don’t let him cling to that. Please don’t let that give away that I know. 

“Pfft. Okay, do your subscribers know you’re not streaming anymore?”

You roll your eyes, knowing he’s created this distance on purpose and now the moment has passed. 

Fine, you’ll get more from him about this eventually. You need to understand how Soon Yi impacted him. You don’t really know why, but you can’t help but feel like knowing more might make you feel less uneasy about all of this. About you and Seokjin and what this could all maybe mean someday. 

“I can post about it,” you say softly and he nods. 

“That might be a good idea. You’ve had a big day. A big panic attack, you probably need some sleep.” 

Your stomach sinks at the idea that he might leave after this, and you’re still not sure you want to be alone. You chew your lip.“What I really need is some pizza,” you say. 

Seokjin smirks. “Good thing for you, I know exactly where we can find some.”  

“Thank you again for the pizza,” you said, nibbling on the edge of one crust. “I didn’t think I could be that hungry after eating so much earlier.”

Seokjin took another swig of beer, shrugging. “Well, you’ve had a big day, and you burned energy and probably calories earlier.” 

Your panic attack may have seemed to you like it was coming out of nowhere, but to Seokjin, it wasn’t. He had noticed your embarrassment the second after you asked him that question, saw you spiral inside yourself as you tried to huff air. He wasn’t sure what really triggered it, but he also knew he didn’t want to leave you after that. 

He wasn’t unfamiliar to them. Yes, Yoongi had his share, and it took a little while to learn what ways he could be soothed. Soon Yi’s were different, though. A lot more similar to yours. 

When they had started experimenting sexually, there would be times in which she would fall so quickly into panic, like she couldn’t give up control. And from that point on, sometimes she would spiral deeper, into some pit of shame where whatever they were doing, even if it wasn’t super kinky, led to these shaking, sub-drop-like breakdowns. They were more rare, but they did happen, especially earlier in their relationship. 

At the time, Seokjin didn’t understand what was going on, and neither did Soon Yi. Just that she sometimes would flip on him during foreplay when he would get a little more confident and dominant, or if he started falling into a scene that she had asked them to do, using the script the way she asked, it would happen anyway. Almost like she was fighting between what she wanted and who she expected herself to be. 

And that’s in a way how you seemed to be too. Maybe you weren’t like this sexually, and he would unpack that idea later. But in this intimate space of your home, it was like Seokjin was experiencing some type of whiplash as you went from being so uncomfortable about asking about his sexuality to you lying next to him in your bed talking about his ex. 

He wasn’t mad, not in the slightest. He understood that especially after a panic attack, people were desperate for closeness and intimacy, and whatever reaction he had to your panic, you felt soothed and safe with him. He was being let into your world little by little, even if you were fighting yourself to let it happen. 

He wanted that. He wanted this: you two eating cold pizza on the floor of your living room, you chewing happily and Seokjin warm and full of life watching you do it. 

You even let him make adjustments to your space, laughing and applauding him after he ripped some of the clean cardboard from one of the pizza boxes and made shims to prop up and balance your oven and fridge. He found if he scooted the couch slightly to the left and your entertainment system got turned a few inches, you could completely see the TV from anywhere on the couch. You dove to the other side almost immediately, whooping when you realized you wouldn’t have to strain yourself to see anymore. 

You were comfortable. He made you comfortable. 

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” you said, your hand caressing over the soft roll of your stomach to demonstrate how full you were. Then, a deep burp echoed into the room. Your eyes widened. “Oh, wow, sorry. Excuse me,” you said suppressing a chuckle. 

But Seokjin was already laughing, his body shaking at the sound. “So polite for someone who made that noise.” 

The tenseness in your shoulders fell and you gave in, laughing next to him. “Listen! It was good, and the carbonation of the beer is making me have to burp!” 

“Sure, sure. That’s what it is. You know I’ve seen those memes about how women don’t fart or burp or poop and I’m onto you! You have one strike. If you fart or shit I’m going to prove that meme false.” 

You scoff, tears leaking out the side of your eyes. “Well good thing for you, I will not deny those allegations. I don’t just poop, I shit.” 

Seokjin choked on his next sip of beer, spluttering some of it out of his nose. “Oh shit.” Tears flowed from his eyes from the sting, and he grasped for some napkins near the pizza. 

You weren’t much better off, coughing heavily into your shirt as you tried to recover. This, this was everything he could ever want. Afterward, you both cleaned up the kitchen and pizza together, finishing off the six-pack of beer until your yawns were impossible to ignore. 

“It’s really late, Y/N. You should go to sleep,” he said. He hated himself for suggesting it, almost wishing that you would extend the invitation to stay. Even then, though, he would have to decline.

“Or we could, I don’t know, play a game or something?” As you said this, you stifled another yawn. 

He chuckled. You were stalling, he could tell. And he wasn’t strong enough to say no. “Hm, okay how about this. We can hang out in your room and I’ll tell you more about me. But you have to get ready for bed first, otherwise it’s no deal.” 

Your eyelids were heavy, but you beamed anyway. “Yeah, okay.”

You went into your room, grabbing some clothes before shutting yourself into the bathroom to get ready. Seokjin paced your living room, scanning the book shelves, a variety of titles he’d never seen before in the stacks. But there was one, a smaller and thinner book that had more wear and tear than the rest. He slid it out carefully and held it in his hands. Tuck Everlasting, a book he’d read in elementary school about a teenager who met a family that drank from a tree’s magical spring and lived forever. 

Based on your copy, he could tell it was well-loved and read many times. How old were you when you read it, he wondered. Did you want to run away into the woods like he did afterward, trying to find a magical spring of your own? 

The bathroom door opened, and he carefully slotted the book back onto the shelf before turning to you. You were wearing an oversized T-shirt and some very, very short pajama shorts. Your legs looked so soft to touch. His hand twitched.

“Okay,” you said, “I’m ready.” 

Seokjin wasn’t. But he followed you into the darkness of your room anyway, laid himself down next to you on the bed as you tucked yourself under the blankets. Your eyes shimmered as you looked at him, now way more awake than you had appeared just ten minutes ago. 

Were you hustling him? 

“You need to crawl under the blankets too. Otherwise they’ll constrict me and I will absolutely not fall asleep like you have clearly planned,” you tease. 

You were hustling him. He liked it. 

He chuckled and obeyed, folding back the comforter and sheets to get in. But in doing so, he revealed you with your shorts already bunched up on your thighs, exposing your lacy panties at your hip. Your shirt was riding up, and he could see a tiny bit of your stomach peeking out. 

God fucking help him. He managed a deep breath, begging himself not to get hard, or for his body to at least wait until you wouldn’t see him getting hard and he was under the covers. This wasn’t the time. Not after all the emotionality of the day. But his dick didn’t know that. 

Your covers smelled like you, soft and even a little sweet and you really had to be fucking with him because you shoved yourself even closer to him under the covers, so that there were just a few inches between you two. He felt your body heat radiating from you. 

“There,” you sighed, and he smelled a hint of your mint toothpaste. His mouth watered. “Now, where were we?”

No, but where were you really? He didn’t remember, didn’t know where to start. And then it clicked. 

“Mmm, you were going to go to sleep I think,” he said. 

You frowned, your nose wrinkling. “No, that’s not true. Or it was. I’m not tired now.” 

“Give it a minute, I’m sure soon your eyelids won’t be able to stay open.” 

“Sure, but yours are heavy now too. So you must be tired. Now it’s a competition.” You were right. His eyelids were heavy, and he was tired. But he knew his body, especially as keyed up as he was getting, wasn’t about to let him fall asleep any time soon. 

“I think I’ll win that one,” he laughed lightly. 

“Doubt it,” you challenged, and you shifted your legs, now a little less comfy and more antsy. You slowly released a breath. 

“Are you sure you want to do this right now?” He asked, and you didn’t hesitate to nod. 

“I want to know more about you. It’s nice to put the puzzle pieces of you together in my head.” Your voice was growing husky.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” you replied. A beat passed. Neither of you moved to say anything, just looked at each other. 

Shouldn’t this be awkward? Shouldn’t all of this feel wrong? Somewhere in his mind, the logical response was yes, this is weird and he should leave. But then he would be leaving you after a hard day, when you clearly were trying to avoid him leaving by going so far as to keep yourself awake to stare at him. To try to get to know him. And that’s what rooted him now. He couldn’t leave even if he wanted to. Maybe you were only being needy. But he also felt needy right now. And for the moment, logic could fuck off. 

So he pushed it away, letting the parts of him he liked most bubble to the surface, the parts that led without overthinking and just acted on what he wanted. 

He moved slightly closer to you, and you blanched, a little taken aback, but you recovered quickly. “

I’m cold,” you said. He knew it was a lie. He could feel the heat of you. 

“Here,” he replied, and he pulled the blanket open slightly so you could wiggle forward, resting yourself against his chest. 

He angled himself carefully, trying so hard to avoid the rest of your bodies touching, but it was impossible, so he pulled you closer, letting every part of you rest against him. 

“Tell me,” you muttered.

“What should I tell you?” he whispered back. 

“I don’t know. Anything.” You were fading quickly, and he was relieved. Sad that he would have to go soon, but relieved that you were finally resting. 

“Okay,” he said, even softer. “I think if I ever drank from a magical spring, I would do a better job hiding it than the Tuck family did.” 

You hummed in response, and then he felt your head nod into his chest as you fell fully asleep. 

©2024 by jooniperbonsai

#bts smut #seokjin smut #seokjin #seokjin x reader #bts fanfic #kim seokjin #thanks for the sub

[komorezuki]

The next infernal team in Hell: Skittles and Morax. Problems of demons' representation in s2

Well, I am keep viewing demons in s2 and my attention was drawn to these two.

They were credited as the demon Morax and the demon Skittles.

Lets look more closely at them. Skittles is first. What's the name? Why Skittles? She isnt even multicolored. Ok. She was played by Ann Louise Ross. She is looking like old evil lady. Or like a visitor of Berlin techno rave or of Wave Gotik Treffen idk. I love her honestly.

Her spirit animal is supposedly a raven or crow (or another bird). Look at the black feather on her belt and at the bird skull necklace:

I think she could be associated with goetian Malphas:

Great President of Hell, with 40 legions of demons under his command and is second in command under Satan. He appears as a raven, but if requested, will instead resemble a man with a hoarse voice. Malphas is said to build houses, high towers and strongholds, throw down the buildings of enemies, destroy enemies' desires or thoughts (and/or make them known to the conjurer) and all that they have done, give good familiars, and quickly bring artificers together from all places of the world.

The second one is called Morax. He is clearly a demon from Ars Goetia and Pseudomonarchia Daemonum.

He is a Great Earl and President. He appeareth like a great Bull with a Man's face. His office is to make Men very knowing in Astronomy, and all other Liberal Sciences; also he can give good Familiars, and wise, knowing the virtues of Herbs and Stones which be precious. He governeth 30 Legions of Spirits

Obviously Morax's animal is an ox. *uncovers all jokes about Azi's relationship with oxes*

Morax is played by Florence Nzenwefi. He has big horns (dude something tells me that mask doesnt help you to blend in) and charmingly growls . He wears a long coat and....a sash???

Beautiful blue leather belt with a big ox head buckle. I dont know if that a sash or just baldric for weapon but I have questions in both cases.

It's a sash. According to @vaexathear's theory sash is a sign of power or status. Worn by demon from bottom of the barrel and bla bla bla. Whyyy?

It's a baldric for weapon. Dude did you have a flaming sword weapon? I am curious about what it might be. Sword or saber or axe maybe? How many demons are armed? Lords of the Hell dont wear weapons so why YOU should do.

And the last thing. Does that attack of demons bother you? I mean, they are definitely stronger than people. They can do miracles, and teleport and so on. You can say that lower demons are probably limited in a magic but Shax isn't. She can literally burn you in a lightning. Obviously she wouldnt kill Maggie and Nina because of Crowley's threat. But why not bring bookshop into chaos. Instead of this demons crawl up the stairs one at a time and girls knock them out with a books and fire extinguishers.

A whole demon representation in s2 bothers me. Why are demons so weak? Why are they shown as stupid and clumsy misfits? These ones who was in "legion" are fallen angels too, why they are the damp. Even Muriel can do miracles, but they cant. I am literally feeling bad for them.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens demons #good omens meta #good omens hell #ars goetia #go2 meta #good omens analysis #demons

[yellowymellon]

Family theory ⬇️

i'm abt to present the most controversial theory ever/j it's just a silly one xD (it's long beware)

as far as we know, xipe themselves descend on the charmony festival. but does this hymn insinuates that multiple faces descend instead of the entirety of xipe? let's first see the content of this hymn:

it starts by talking abt dominicus as a manifestation of xipe, dominicus means sunday, this could be further supported by the many mentions of law and authority as sunday is shown to be orderly, methodical and obessesive compulsive. "the gazillions of old laws have all faded" i suppose that could be ena which makes sunday even more connected to them.

constantina is the second manifestation who is a singer. who else is a probable emenator of harmony and is a singer?

from the collectible cards found in penacony, robin's says the following "Surrounded by vibrant lights, the audience was moved to tears by her voice. All the flaws, ugliness, deception, and loneliness in life were forgotten." it fits well as robin is many times portrayed in this manner.

Aelenev, his description is abt battles and war, it might be a metaphor but it could be talking abt the very distant past of penacony. there isnt much info i can derive from here or firmly link it to someone but i have someone in mind.

beatriz, while dance seems like the main characteristic but so is singing and feasting. "the world is a ball" i think beatriz resides over culture and entertainment.

now before i talk abt who i think the last two are i need you to know the family lineages, there's 5 families. the name followed by purpose by the head :

oak - management - sunday

nightingale - construction - Sir Whittaker (npc)

bloodhound - security - head unknown

Iris - entertainment -  Maeven Ellis

alfalfa - economy - oti alfalfa

ofc the dreammaster exists as a seperate entity of all 5.

there's some truth to the first pic, the dreammaster does control the 5 families, and his orders are absolute. the history here could be altered by History Fictionologists, followers of enigmata.

the hymn only mentions 4 ppl tho, 2 are the closest to sunday and robin, the latter isnt even a family head, which is a bit weird but makes sense why she gets invited to the charmony festival. but beatriz very much matches with iris' head, Maeven Ellis. Aelenev is more tricky to define but he could be Gopher Wood, found in the collectibles. i couldn't find anything concrete in his description but "we have discovered the lord's disciple in the mortal world" is an interesting line, i mostly took his appearance in consideration :

(ignore aideen and lesley) anyway- gopher wood seem to carry a 'gospel' and has a crow by his side (just like sunday who has erm a raven? a nightingale that looks like an eagle?) and his wings are scarred, possibly by 'battles' the hymn spoke of, aaand Easter-egg he has sunday's old halo :) i suspect he could be the bloodhounds' head, Maeven Ellis is right beside him btw

out of all the hymn has talked abt, in our silly theory, ALL of them are halovians who have wings. i read in wiki that halovians have wings in their biology but idk where that info came from...there isnt a single halovian npc who got wings.

"every Halovian in Penacony is a member of the family" gopher looks like an older priest, his postion could totally be of a head.

now this is spoilery (imo doesn't make much difference), even tho it was leaked to be in 2.0 loading screen but i didnt find it, so i went to great lengths to get it from reddit! It might be a scratched idea tho, I'll only put the most important parts :

Edit: nvm it's called the harmonic strings phenomenon, found in wiki and database :x

"Family members have adopted a system of differentiation based on scales, with only those above the subdominant "IV" note being eligible to serve as the tuner of the Harmonic Strings. "

"The concept of Harmonic Strings is elucidated in the Harmony Hymns, a compilation of divine embodiments attributed to Xipe. These embodiments portray down-to-earth virtues that contribute to Harmony and can be practiced by individuals regardless of their position."

"The Family takes pride in celebrating the beauty of the Thousand Faces, including figures such as Aelenev of the Eternal Centurion, Dominicus of the Harmonious Choir, Constantina of the Panacoustic Theater, and Beatriz of the Blissful Ball."

"Opposers of the Harmony argue that the Harmonic Strings are in fact Emanators from Xipe themselves, not associated with any specific mortal but rather representing facets of Xipe, who can assume the form of any Family member when necessary."

Lots of yapping I know. Basically the ones eligible to welcome xipe in a ritual called harmonic strings are tuners of rank IV. We already know that at least 2 are emenators and the others should be too.

Also Aelenev of the eternal centurion, a Centurion being a soldier in the Roman army responsible for the command of one hundred men. A description fitting of the bloodhound head. The harmonic choir could refer to the oak family, and so on

But here where the contradiction happens, in oti's letter to Sunday

also if all halovians with wings are emenators/ facet of xipe, then sunday and robin had them as children..?

i could argue that the dreammaster chooses for xipe who he sees fit to be an emenator, and under his guidance they become a harmony symbol. robin for the outside world and im sure sunday was adopted for the same cause as bronya rand, to become the future head of the oak family.

now on dominicus arrival...this letter and the hymn are slightly contradictory...and the map text is too. if dominicus is a facet of xipe, why do they and the 3 others have to welcome xipe ? isnt the descent of the 4 of them considered complete in it's self? xipe is a plural aeon, if part of them descends it should still be an aeon. but the hymn insinuates that the 4 facets serve xipe. also the connection between sunday and robin to them is solid.

aight, we know who the harmonic strings are from the map text, it makes sense to think of them as the ones i theorized them to be, except from robin they're all directly influential on penacony. aand now oti's letter makes less sense. we can argue that each one of them derives power from a facet, maybe even becoming vessels to them or represent them. and these facets need to descend (arrive) for the charmony festival to reach it's conclusion, being xipe's descendance.

also reminder

(he means xipe by their)

uuuhuh sweetie, u gotta leave the house as dominicus tho!

#unrelated but aven ofc sunday has a miniature golden hour in the pavilion they're trying to expand it and create more dreamscapes... #like it's the family HQ?? #also i have a confession- #even insinuated from oti's letter...i cant take sunday that srsly he feels young to be the the coordinator of all the families lol #yes he did prove himself in 2.1 but i CANT ITS JUST xD #proud of pookie tho #and lets stop pretending he died non of them are #honkai star rail #star rail #hsr sunday #hsr #hsr theory

[katyahina]

The most common Bloodborne fanart mistakes

We all approach fanart differently! Most people draw characters simple and get the point across, with any alteration being down to art-style. Some people willingly take artistic liberties based on their preferences. And some people try to be very accurate to the canon, to the point where they feel sad upon finding out that they've been unaware of something (like me and all three of my fans fsjfhjds). The latter is often caused by both lacking spread of good references and artists using fanart of other people for the reference rather than the source material. If you also belong to this category of fanartists with me, here are some of the most common fanart pitfalls to avoid!

Lady Maria's eye colour: It is a somewhat frequent mistake to draw her eyes blue! In reality, her eyes are very pale green, even a little desaturated, so, greyish-green:

Henryk's skin colour: In the game, it is hard to know unless you deliberately zoom in his face, and even then it might be accidentally blamed on the lighting! I especially see this mistake in Eastern fanart. Thanks to a dataminer Zullie the Witch though, we can know for sure that he is brown:

(Here ( x ) is the page with all sliders)

Little girl's ribbon: Most drawings depict this one as simply... well, white ribbon. It can be tied around a braid, a ponytail, or simply rest on whatever other hairstyle. But in the game both the icon and the way it is worn by Messengers features a layer of frills:

Only one daughter: Gascoigne and Viola have two daughters: one, younger, is the little girl that used to wear the white ribbon which we never see, and another, older, is the one we can talk with later and see dead.

She is not an obvious encounter, and it certainly doesn't help that her little sister doesn't mention her! There are many fanarts that only depict just the little girl whereas the intention is to depict the whole family, and some even use this older sister's design for her, though, as a result! Two of them existing is also confirmed by the voice credits:

Micolash's hair: This is probably the most obvious case of people using existing fanart as a reference. His hair is purely black and somewhat messy, even curling somewhat!

But it is a common fanart thing to give him brown, 'pointy' hairstyle. I think it is sorta 50/50 though because black hair is hard to work with in art, and sometimes 'brown' is just a way to have better colors in general! Lighter color is needed, and simply lessening it to 'dark grey' can just feel not so satisfying. It is an error usually if he is like.. idk, next to a character whose hair IS drawn as black, so there is an obvious comparison.

Adella's hair colour: She has a reverse problem! Commonly drawn with completely, no-shade, pure raven black hair, exactly what Micolash's hair is, when hers is simply dark brown:

Edgar's hair colour: A frequient one is depicting him as that 'yellow' type of blond, when in reality he is strawberry blonde (if not somewhat a redhead):

Yurie's hair and eyes colour: I've fallen for this one myself, and it took me some time to withdraw from, so it is better to just not do to begin with. However, it is simultaneously 'the most widespread mistake' and 'not a real mistake' since this character is bald; although her data states she is a blonde, only her (rather fluffy!) blonde eyebrows are observable. Her eyes are grey, like with plenty of the characters in Bloodborne!

Fanart of her almost exclusively depicts her with black hair and blue eyes, though. Again: technically she is bald, and colour of eyebrows might not match head colour, so the real error is only when artstyles that color eyebrows and eyelashes darken them!

+ Possibly this happens because her name is mistaken for Japanese name Yuri. This is not true: the existing name Yuri is written as ゆり or ユリ, whereas this character is named ユリエ. This little fucker エ at the end is not silent, and this is the key: she is yu-ri-YEE, not yu-REE! Also, ユリエ would be a Japanese spelling of the name Julie - Czech, French and Danish variant of the name Julia. I personally think this is most likely, since Yharnam is heavily inspired by Czechia!

Brador's beast hyde: It is hard to call a frequient, because fanart of these characters together is not frequient... xD But I've seen a few instances of Brador wearing his beast hyde while next to a Laurence who is still alive and a human. This is not possible, since Laurence was the first Cleric Beast, and the hyde Brador is wearing IS that of a Cleric Beast:

We can not know whether Brador killed Laurence or someone of the following clerics since Soulsborne hates clarity and Miyazaki drinks my tears and my tears alone jfhdfhsdhfdhs But we can conclude for sure that he only has this hyde after Laurence was killed. (Naturally, in some types of fanart, this doesn't count! For example, the 'everyone is here' types of fanarts or simple shitpost doodles do not have to be strict to the timeline! In fact, they should not be, lol)

"No-Beardor": Again, this is sensitive to the time context and intention: it counts when the intention is to depict his 'invader' state as it is during the game! Naturally, bro probably shaved more than once in his life fhhhdjss I think it is the fault of a particular "screenshot" of him going viral as a reference for him, when in reality his invader and jail state features a rather noticeable beard:

Gratia's clothes: Again, not a popular character to draw, but at some point a fanmade Wiki claimed that she is wearing Yharnam Hunter's set! This found the way in fanarts of her, when in reality, she is wearing an altered Old Hunter set, wearing a cap instead of a wide hat and missing the large flowing cape and her left glove:

Arianna's hair and eye colour: Her eyes are often drawn as either blue or brown, when it reality, it is, strangely..... purple? Meanwhile, there is a frequient fanart trend depicting Arianna with her alien baby in which her hair is still yellow, whereas in reality her hair loses colour after the event:

I've actually made the exact same error the one time I drew her with her kid :') This situation ties Arianna with another important character, Annalise, who used to be a redhead and has lost her hair colour in connection with her pregnancy, presumed aborted. I elaborated more here ( x ), but the point stands: this change is impossible to spot in the game with its dramatic fucking lighting dfdsfsgdfs It is something only really spotted through data analysis!

__________

I think that's the most frequient ones! There is really no problem in taking artistic liberties, but there is a category of artists that do not really want to and there are details that just can't be spotted in the game by normal means! And some errors can be painful to look at, like white blue-eyed blond Henryk fanart :pensive:.

In recent couple of years, we are being spoiled with awesome references thanks to dataminers and bloggers that spread the information! As for ER fans, they are actually having it easy since dataminers started to expose all the models right away whereas BB fans had a long 'dark era' xd But in general, Soulsborne games are built around the idea that no one will be able to beat the game alone; we all gotta communicate online through the notes other players have left! This mentality further travelled into understanding the story of these games by exchanging the information we've found.. And like, what I am trying to tell is that I am very happy that the same mentality of cooperating spreads on creativity as well! All the references here are the result of awesome dataminers hacking the game and being kind enough to share with the community! There are many more things such as model rips, internal filenames and super handy screenshots galleries that sometimes help to not only create a more accurate fanart, but also to even understand some extra lore! Yeah, like Arianna's hair hinting at a very important plot twist about Cainhurst. x) My point is!! communicating about what we have noticed with other fans is how these games existed and formed the coolest community, and fanart might be not different. What I shared here is just a really small portion of what can be used, and someone found this post useful, I am happy!

#bloodborne #bloodborne reference #bloodborne observation #use later #creativity #tips #screenshots #not art #text post #I probably did not communicate it well but recently I've had so many of the 'ahhhh shit I never knew about [detail]' that- #-I've decided to link the most superfical ones in one place #sometimes I am just so thankful that we have Zullie and Sinclair's models vid and more fdjhshfdds

[artsykidwolf-2000]

Welp...FF7 Rebirth came out and ummm....I have this ship with an OC called Raven and I put her with Sephiroth...Ravenroth??? Idk

I'm debating on what prompt to do them with but we'll see with the actual story. This may also tie into a painting I did~

(they also have a kid named Mercury, he's a sweetie and I made Sephiroth a sister named Seri...yay) (Mercury is not in this story but Seri is!)

Without further adoooo let's get started.

May I Have This Dance?

Rating/Warning: minimal stuff but also AWWWWW

★★★★★

Ever since I can remember, I've always been by his side. Sephiroth. The Golden Child of SOLDIER. Ever since we were young we'd be teamed up together. He was there when my father died in that freak accident. There i remained in SOLDIER. Even as a First Class rank I didn't care much for the formalities or the perks of being this popular. I always thought myself a medic and only that.

Genesis or Angeal will always tease us as teenagers. Teasing about dating, who would win in a fight, best aim, you name it. As the years passed by, I found myself trying to answer why. It had been years since Genesis and Angeal disappeared and I still hear their voices egging me on. I had things, priorities, to attend to, especially one that was his very sister, Seri.

"Raven!!! What do you mean you're not coming to the company ball?! Everyone will be there!" Seri whined as I checked her vitals on the screen and took some tests.

"I told you Seri, I have my duties to the hospital and you. Sephiroth will have a conniption, you know he doesn't dance anyways" I replied.

"well I'm going with Zack! He invited me in Aerith's place because of her circumstances! She insisted!" She fussed as she crossed her arms.

"Oh are you? Then I guess I have no choice~" I rolled my eyes playfully as I gave her medicine and a change of clothes from her closet and helped her put them on.

"Yay! Dress shopping!!!" Seri squealed. I helped her onto her wheelchair and we walked to the elevator to get to the bottom floor.

We walked along the streets of Midgar to a dress shop nearby. I was never really into girly stuff even as a kid. The only girly thing I wear is earrings bc my face still says masculine. I guess looking more like my father was half of a good thing. I'm glad I developed nicely up top and got ass for days. My dad would try and get me to wear hair berets or make up to make me look more feminine but I was a part of SOLDIER. I couldn't/it would run or snag in the field.

Seri and I walked through all the clothing racks. Seri picked out a few dresses her size. She kept on pointing to other dresses that might look good on me but none were speaking to me. Seri started scanning the whole store. I know those eyes too well, just like her brother's, always on target and ready to pounce. Then she grabbed a dark colored dress and snuck it under her picks, thinking she was sneaky. I only caught a glimpse of the color but not the style. I was worried but not in a scared way.

As we made our way to the changing rooms, she picked out a cute pink dress because she told me Aerith liked pink and wanted to respect her favorite color. Seri really has grown fond of both Zack and Aerith these past few years. I've never seen her this excited unless it was Sephiroth coming home to take her to a fancy dinner and toy shopping. She's 7 years younger than him yet they're both a spitting image of each other. They definitely are siblings.

I remember the day my father showed us her, so small and frail. It was devastating to see her health decline when she reached 10 years. My dad did so much for her, even as he got up in age, he was like a father to her. His death put a toll on all of us, I stayed with Shinra because I had nowhere else to go. That's when I became on call for SOLDIER and mostly full time at the Hospital. I made a promise to my dad and myself.

Seri showed off her dresses and then from underneath she revealed the dress she swiped for me. It was a long sleek slender gown with a slit up the leg that stops at the thigh and has one strap. It was a dark blue with shimmers.

"oh no...that's no me..." I deflected.

"Come on Raven just try it on! You never wear dresses so how can you know?!" Seri pouts and shoved the dress and shoved me into the changing room, "imma go find ya shoes! Be right back!" With those parting words she wheeled herself away and I was alone. In the changing room. With a floor to ceiling mirror...

I placed the dress over me to get a feel then I started to undress from my uniform into this dress. Once it was on I saw myself. My figure helped but I had muscle. Was that sexy? Appealing? I even posed with my leg out the slit.

"Raven! I'm back with shoes!" Seri snapped me out my thoughts and shoved the shoe box under the door. I looked inside. They were black high heels...

"You sure about this Seri?" I called out.

"trust me!!!" Seri giggled.

I gulped and tried on the shoes. I looked at myself again and was amazed. Everything...matched me... Was Seri some kind of fashion genius? Maybe those fashion magazines around the hospital didn't help.

"come on out I wanna seeeeee!!!" Seri whined and scooted her wheelchair back.

I opened the door and revealed myself. The look on Seri's face said it all. She looked like she saw an angel.

"you look...amazing!!!!" She took a picture with her phone. "Sephi will FLIP when he sees you in this dress!!!"

"you think so?" I blushed.

"I know so! And with your silver earrings to match him it'll be perfect!!! Zack is already matching me with a pink tie already. He is not scared of pink!" Seri laughed.

I smiled, "then I'll get this dress. And maybe a necklace for both of us"

I quickly got unchanged and went to go pick out some necklaces. I got matching silver bang necklaces for us. I paid for the shopping spree and we headed on home to the apartment. Only god knows what will happen tonight...

---------------

The ballroom of the venue was packed with higher ups and other important people. I adjusted my dress. My hair and make up fixed up to match my dress. I touched my necklace and took a deep breath and walked into the venue. Seri already left earlier with Sephiroth for the venue. She was adamant Sephiroth doesn't see me get dressed in my pretty gown. My heels clicked along the floor as my presence started to turn heads and unwanted whispers. Why am I so nervous?

Then I saw Seri and Zack talking it up in the SOLDIER section of the venue with our names on the tables on the outside of the dancefloor.

"well look who decided to show up!!" Zack chuckled, "you look pretty good in a dress and is that a clutch?!"

"yes Zack...and you look stunning in that suit. Really brings out your eyes" I teased. Zack's cheeks turned pink. "And your cheeks~"

Seri chuckled, "he at least has some good dance moves."

"Seri where is your brother?" I asked.

"over there next to the corporates and higher ups. He's been sipping champagne for an hour with them..." She pointed.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to them. The drunken fools started whistling at my appearance. I deflected their looks and focused on Sephiroth.

"Look who finally decided to wear make up after so long" Sephiroth commented as he left the drunken old men to come to me.

"you don't look half bad yourself" I adjusted his blue tie. I knew Seri would make him match me.

"Shall we go out to the balcony? Away from these fools and noise?" He suggested. I gladly accepted and we walked outside.

"I'm so used to the sound of the battlefield and hospital. Yet I always get nervous around other people." I chuckled. "At least Seri and Zack are having a great time."

Sephiroth chuckled and held Raven close, "who says we can't have our own fun out here? May I have this dance?"

I blushed and smiled, "you may" he soon pulled me in and we began slow dancing on the balcony to the muffled music of the ballroom. The moon shines full and bright above us.

We swayed back and forth and he spun me a few times. I knew he wasn't much for dancing but he learned to cheer me up when we were teenagers. He knew my father loved to dance with me. Even Genesis and Angeal got on the bandwagon. They were all my best friends. Well now I only have Sephiroth. Ever since we were young we were glued to the hip, even in battle we had each other's backs.

My heart started pounding faster at the thought of feelings for Sephiroth. Are we allowed? I'm not in SOLDIER anymore by default but I work with Seri now so it might be?

"you're making that face again~" Sephiroth spoke softly and snapped me out of my thoughts.

"what face?"

"the cute face you make when you're deep in thought or worried." Sephiroth smirked. Cute? Cute?!

"oh...sorry..." I chuckled embarrassingly.

"don't be sorry, I like it, besides you're beautiful tonight. Seri picked out a nice dress" he placed a hand on my hip, trailing his fingers against my exposed back, "and don't worry about the muscles, I like that about you, you're not dainty or fragile like Seri. Strong and stubborn."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "you think so?"

"I know so" Sephiroth placed his other hand on my hip, leaning in closer to where we're almost nose to nose.

"I'm glad you said that, because I like a man who can keep me on my toes and always had my back for the past 25+ years" I stared into his eyes as the moonlight hit them.

"then I'll hold you to it for the rest of our lives. You've done too much to just be rewarded once" he leaned in closer.

"it's a promise" I closed the gap and kissed him. We held each other. He lifted me a bit to get one last jab at the toes statement. His chapped lips were soft and his hair was like silk. He even put it up for once in a low pony with a small braid.

We separated with a few good breaths between us. Was dad always right that I might end up with Sephiroth? I don't care, if it is true, I know where my heart lies tonight. It's definitely with him. Soon we were surprised to see Seri and Zack. Seri looked like she was about to lose it at the fact we finally kissed. Zack was dumbfounded that Sephiroth knew how to be romantic.

"I did it! I knew you guys would come out here! And you kissed!!!!" Seri squeaked out giggles and stumbled to her brother and I.

Sephiroth held her steady, "I guess your constant nagging about me staring and smiling paid off, little sister."

Seri smiled, "it's only a matter of time till I hear wedding bells! I wanna be the maid of honor! Can we invite Aerith?! Cloud?!"

"Slow down Hyperactive Kitten, it'll be way down the line for that possibility. What if we just eloped?" I chuckled.

"don't care! I still get wedding bells!" Seri smiled as Sephiroth twirled her around in his arm. She brought him so much joy. I don't remember a day where he tried to visit her and play with her, even being a muse for her paintings. She loved him just as much.

"maybe once I retire, we'll see about that" Sephiroth smiled.

Zack gasped, "you're leaving me all alone no fair! It'll just be me and Cloud!" He pouted playfully.

I laughed at his expression and we had a fun night for the rest of the evening. My feet were sore and tired from dancing. At the apartment I helped Seri get ready for bed and hung her cute dress up for her to look at in her room. I made my way to the other bedroom and got undressed into pajama shorts and a tank top. I wiped off all my make up.

Sephiroth was just in sweatpants as he looked at me with soft eyes. I walked to him and gave him another kiss. Memories of sharing a tent or a bed together on trips, even into older age, came into my mind. Entangling our bodies together to stay warm. Him placing his head on mine. Even in uniform it was comfy. Like we were two sides of one coin. We laid down in the large bed, embracing each other, with me laying my head on his chest. Listening to his strong heart. His strong arm wrapped around my figure. My olivey complexion is a clear difference from his pale skin.

"Goodnight Sephiroth" I yawned softly.

"Goodnight Raven...I love you" He smiled.

"I love you too"

#fanfic #ff7 rebirth #ff7 remake #ff7 crisis core #ff7 ever crisis #ff7 x reader #ff7 #sephiroth #sephiroth x reader #sephiroth x oc #crisis core #zack fair #aerith gainsborough #ff7 aerith #advent children #cloud strife #original character #my oc

[macabrecravings]

WTF⁉️‼️ HOW IS SERAPHINA CONNECTED TO HARRY POTTER FANFICTION‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️

The Seraphina x Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way Lore Explanation (NOT CLICKBAIT) (Finally Coming Clean...)

TLDR: purple, red, poorly written british people, awful self-indulgent fics, emo jokes/stereotypes, etc 🥳

Meet Seraphina Ver. 1! She was my first iteration of Seraphina. As you can tell, she used to be a purple girly :D

When I created Seraphina Ver. 2, she became the red girly we all know and love !!! (But we don't talk about ver 2... /j she experienced the horrors and straight up killed herself (deleted the game file from existence while I was sleeping)

This is all to build up to the fact that Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (from the smash hit Harry Potter fanfiction My Immortal) is ALSO a purple and red girly. If you search her name up, you can scroll through the fanart and definitely get a fuck ton of Seraphina-core vibes 😭 She wasn’t intentionally inspired but Sera can absolutely come off as an Ebony rip off xD (at least visually)

Early in her creation, my friend and I picked up on this color scheme and started joking that she was Ebony IRL 😜 !! LMFAOO We said that Whitney bullied her because he was a stupid prep!!! >:T U might think she’s a slut, but she’s totally not!! /ref

I was asked tonight, “Would she like my immortal.... .........Unironically.........” And honestly? I think she would </3 Ive mentioned before that Sera writes her own fan fictions & I can assure you that they’d be JUST LIKE THIS. No better quality than MI or the creepypastas she consumes 😭😭 She may be passionate about it, but lord…

Another similarity is that uhmmm obv MI takes place in the Harry Potter Universe and Seraphina is in DOL universe. both of which are set in the UK but written by authors who are. Not british. Sorry everyone 💔 Idk what i’m doing at all but at least I know that there are no hot topics there 💔😔😔

But yeah I’m sure there’s more connections but I’m literally blanking right now— All of this to say that Seraphina has some intense roots that tie her to this silly 2006 fanfic that I won’t get over </3 Guys it’s so iconic. it’s an internet masterpiece that i think about a normal amount. you have to believe me, I— *gunshots*

#oc: seraphina #oc lore #original post🍓💌 #my immortal #ebony dark'ness dementia raven way

[just-someone-online]

Giving Curses to Characters Who Didn’t Have Them

I’m gonna try and make each of these short because I know I’ll start rambling if I don’t

Akari - Is it even a question? She would 100% take a dip in the Spring of Drowned Piglet. Maybe a fully grown pig if there’s a spring for it.

Konatsu - Toss that girl into the Spring of Drowned Girl! I like to think the only noticeable differences in her cursed form is her hair color and either gaining or losing an inch or two.

Akane - Is she technically cursed by the Spring of Drowned Akane? Hmm... Maybe the Spring of Drowned Man? Y’know, just to compliment Ranma’s curse? Given that she can’t swim, she’d probably get cursed by mistake.

Kasumi - Remember that one chapter where Kasumi was possessed by a demon for a minute? I can see her falling into a Spring of Mischievous Demon. Maybe she’d look similar to Lum from Urusei Yatsura in her cursed form? Oomf, suddenly reminded that I need to read that.

Nabiki - I actually can’t think of anything specific for Nabiki, but I know she’d find some way to profit from it. Maybe a red panda? Cute animal pics sell well, right?

Ukyo - I can’t see Ukyo willingly fucking with Jusenkyo, so any curse of hers is accidental. I can see her ending up as something like a beaver or a platypus, mostly because their tails remind me of her big ass spatula.

Tatewaki - ngl, it feels weird calling him by his given name. We know that Kuno has tried messing with wish granting swords and phoenix eggs, so he’d probably find out about Jusenkyo powder eventually. I’d say he would go for Spring of Drowned Twins so he could date Akane and ‘the pig-tailed girl.’ At the same time, I can see him screwing up and getting stuck as a bullfrog or something.

Kodachi - She’d end up in a Spring of Drowned Raven. idk, I think about her whole ‘Kodachi the Black Rose’ thing and I can so easily see her leaving a trail of black feathers instead of rose petals.

Tsubasa - Given that his whole thing is dressing cute, I feel like he’d get an equally cute curse. Maybe a tree frog? I might be the only who finds those cute actually. But if you want to dive into the supernatural, I’d make him a mermaid (If we can have warrior goddesses and ox monsters, we can have mermaids!). How does one drown a mermaid? idk, probably the same way they drowned an octopus.

Azusa - Similarly to Tsubasa, I can see her ending up as something cute. Maybe a penguin to go with her ice skating? No, I don’t know what a penguin was doing at Jusenkyo either.

Mikado - A slug

Shinnosuke - An elephant, just for irony’s sake. Y’know, cuz they say an elephant never forgets.

#ranma 1/2 #ranma ½ #oh god i have to tag all of them don't i? #akari unryuu #konatsu #ukyo kuonji #akane tendo #tatewaki kuno #kodachi kuno #tsubasa kurenai #azusa shiratori #mikado sanzenin #kasumi tendo #nabiki tendo #can you tell that i don't like mikado?

[moondal514]

📖!!!

Hi aerie! I’m gonna assume you want one of my aftg fic ideas.

So I have this idea for a Trojan!Andrew au (that I’m never going to write because I think I might get hives if I ever write anything positive about USC 😂).

The background of this au is Andrew is able to successfully hide Aaron’s letter to him and write to him to fuck off, so none of the Spears ever find out about Aaron’s existence and Andrew’s plan to wait until Drake is enlisted goes through and he is officially adopted by the Spears. Andrew picks up exy because it keeps him out of the house as much as possible, which is especially vital for him for when Drake comes to visit during his breaks.

Meanwhile in South Carolina, Tilda dies of a drug overdose while Aaron is in high school and Nicky comes from Germany to take care of him. Erik’s job conveniently has a branch in South Carolina so he is able to follow Nicky to the US and help him out with Aaron. Namely Erik is able to help Aaron get off drugs. So Aaron is able to get his shit together and he gets recruited to the Foxes (Nicky will not be a Fox in this au cuz Wymack doesn’t need to bribe Aaron to join the team).

Back to Andrew, he gets recruitment offers from all over, including the Foxes, the Ravens, and the Trojans. Like canon, Kevin and Riko come to personally recruit him, and Andrew of course tells them both to fuck off. However, Kevin and Riko aren’t the only people that come to personally recruit Andrew. Jeremy comes to recruit Andrew too and, because I have a strong belief in a Jeremy-Andrew brotp, they hit it off and Andrew decides to go to USC (when Kevin hears this news, he’s like “fair enough” cuz he can’t begrudge a player of Andrew’s caliber playing in his favorite team)

So come the start of the season, Aaron gets the surprise of his life when he sees his own face on the Trojans in Exy Today (or whatever that magazine Neil loves is called) and is honestly kinda pissed about it, especially when he reads about how one of the colleges Andrew turned down was PSU. Some 1st chance Aaron gets (so after the Foxes get knocked out of the competition), he moreorless flies to California to go yell at Andrew and Andrew basically shuts the door on his face. Aaron is stubborn though, so he keeps trying to talk to Andrew and this somehow involves him visiting Andrew at the same time as Cass and Cass invites Aaron over to dinner with her, Richard Spear, and Andrew.

So Aaron goes to dinner but notices that something about the Spear family is off and he’s not sure what. Somehow this all leads to Aaron eventually figuring out what’s happened to Andrew in the Spear household, specifically what Drake has done to Andrew and that Cass has known about it all this time and not done anything about it. Aaron confronts Cass about it and somehow it turns into an altercation where Aaron accidentally kills Cass.

Uh not really sure where this au would go after that but I imagine there would be a big falling out and lots of drama. Prob a trial and shit, idk. And then there would still be all the Riko and mafia-related drama that comes with Kevin and Neil and at some point Jean would join the Trojans too, but my dislike of USC aside, this concept is just too long for me to ever consider writing it

Really the best part about this au is just how Andrew going to USC allows me to enjoy the dichotomy of Andrew looking like a stereotypical USC student (white, blonde, athletic, Californian) but having the completely opposite personality of one. Imagining Andrew surrounded by that many peppy extroverted people sends me

Send me a “📓” emoji and I’ll tell you about a fic idea I have that I’ll never write

#ask tag #stabbyfoxandrew #aftg #moonie writes

[azulashengrottospiano]

Thinking about what pet i should give Eden since all the ikevamp characters have one of their own,,hmm...

I would've considered giving her an owl,but mozart already has one

I then considered crows or ravens before deciding against it, but I might give those to another potential OC

Then i briefly considered a massive tiger or wolf and honestly it would be iconic- but maybe the vibes would be off, so idk

So now, I'm considering foxes- but do any of the guys have foxes? If not, I might give one to Eden

HSJFJDJ VLAD HAS A FOX NAMED MARSHMALLOW :((( AT LEAST I THINK ITS A FOX

who is my resident vlad expert again....i know i have one but i FORGOR

#i think it might be henry #rubia <3

[aenslem]

ship ask: razumovsky/igor grom 😏😏😏😏😏😏

hehe

when I started shipping it if I did: oh, I will just put this comic book part here and that's the moment I started shipping them, however, idk why, must be censorship, but in the original comic book Igor was completely naked, there were no pants, not like you could see anything anyway, but come on, he was naked :D

my thoughts: oh man, I have so many thoughts of them, like, this is one of the rarest pairs that I wanted to write anything for, and I used to, might be because I had no laptop with me to gif at that time when I was literally so much into major grom, I was so active on twitter and was active in fandom, so my love needed to be expressed different ways since I could not gif, so I was drawing and writing. My love for them only grew when the movie came out, and you know how much I loved that movie, I fell so hard for Igor and Sergey from the movie. Can't wait for the second one, can't say I am super excited, like I wait for it, but I am not in MGPD fandom anymore, I am not active on twitter either, I don't do anything for Razgrom, but I think it will all hit me back once I see anything related to them on screen, cos every time I see Sergey I am like 'MA BOOOOOOI MY SOOOOON' I love him, I love these characters and I hope I won't be disappointed with the second movie. I know the movie will be different from the comic book 'the game', but I hope some parts will stay there at least, like, I really want Razgrom in their black/white suits playing chess hehe, not sure they will ever come to the part where they shoot 'the time of the raven' comic book, the ark with Kutkh, but if they do, you will hear me yelling no matter where you are :D cos in the comic books Razgrom are literally two parts of Kutkh's soul, the raven god, like dark and light sides and I absolutely love that story. I need more of them in movies. I only come back to read the comic books when there's crossovers where Igor and Sergey meet, but it has not happened for so long... not sure it will ever happen again.

What makes me happy about them: everything related to Razgrom makes me happy, I can't even put all of it in words, just everything :D

What makes me sad about them: that while the comic books are interesting, I read a little of 'igor grom' comic books, some of 'plague doctor' which were after the events of Major Grom and the crossover books, and they are fine, but somehow, when the story revolves around Igor AND Sergey it is 1000x times more interesting for me, and somehow always better. I know there are interesting and fun characters, some of them I like myself, but I just love those two together and want more. And it makes me sad that they don't have more crossovers with them, and I hope that in the movies they will not separate them right away, like, literally two parts of the same god's soul, I want it to happen in the movies, I want all the drama and angst and pain and I want them to have all those weird dreams, like, just give me Razgrom and I will be happy.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: crossover ships put into fics without warnings

things I look for in fanfic: oh, the angst, loved the fics where they explored feelings, explored the connection between Sergey and Igor, fics about them being literal soulmates, being the dark and light sides of the same soul. Loved the fics post the time of the raven events.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Igor with Julia, obviously, the movie version, cos she is amazing. And Sergey... well, I don't want him to end up with Oleg, cos I don't like that ship, but seems like there's nobody else Sergey could be with if there's no Igor. But maybe I will leave him alone :D in the comic books.. well, Julia is dead in the comic books, so idk who could be with Igor, I read some of 'Igor Grom' and there was this lady, I don't remember her name, but somehow I don't see Igor with her either, so maybe I would leave him alone too :D Maybe in 'Major Igor Grom' (honestly bubble come up with better titles for your comics) there's somebody with whom he could be, or Sergey in 'Plague Doctor', but I have not read them, so idk.

My happily ever after for them: my happily ever after has nothing to do with reality, and will never happen, so I would like them to work together at least, not on the same side maybe, but you know, meeting here and there and sometimes helping each other... mutual respect maybe :D

who is the big spoon/little spoon: movie Sergey is lil spoon, comic book Sergey is chaos in bed so you either fall from the bed or you end up with Sergey all around you :D Igor can be both big and little spoon.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: going to museums all around the world, and eating shawarma on the roofs somewhere looking at the city at night :D

#ask #tennant #razgrom #razgrom my beloved <3 #thanks for the ask #ask game #oh i miss them #i miss the times when i could talk about them nonstop for hours with other fans

[dollar-store-kazoo]

Can you tell us about your Raven?? He seems like such a cool lil guy :D

Sure!

I inspired his outfit off of Japanese streetwear, which was an incredible idea by my friend @coffee-coloured-crow (shoutout to him!)

I decided to keep some aspects from his og design, but twist them just a bit (the cape, rope, his eye, and the slippers on the baby design.)

As for the jacket patches, each one has a correlation with death in symbolism. The skull and crossbones, just death in general. The plague doctor being death and disease. A black butterfly can symbolize just death, the specific death of a family member, or just a bad omen predicting death or injury. I gave him these patches because he’s the typa guy to go all in on the symbolism. He’s Death’s child and he isn’t going to let *anyone* forget it, he’s proud to be the child of Death.

I also gave him some raven feathers, some messy misplaced ones as a baby, and two attached to his cape in his late design. This is because I headcanon Raven can turn into an unkindness(a flock) of ravens using his magic! It’s much messier when he’s first figuring it out as a child, which is why the feathers are sticking out of his clothing that way. Though he does get the hang of it as he gets older, he keeps two feathers pinned to himself because he thinks it’s a nice aesthetic choice. It also fits his name, go-figure! (Best be sure he’ll make jokes about that.)

And with the black consuming his bones from his fingertips and neck, yet some more symbolism. Since he is the son of Death, it doesn’t only represent the slow pursuit of death in a mortal’s life, but it has physical purpose too. It grows more and more into his bones as his life goes on, and as it grows, the more powers he gets. He mostly gets his powers from his father(Reaper) because of this, but he isn’t exactly overjoyed about it. He *is* proud to be Reapers son, but he doesn’t want to be a complete copy of him, that’s the trick. He wants his *own* powers, and not just one where he can turn into birds whenever he wants. He wants *more*!

He eventually begins to try and twist these powers into his own, trying to use his own unique magic to change them. No matter how hard he tries, they don’t seem to change. He eventually learns that he needs to find his own self before his powers start to take their own shape, because most of his life he lived in his father’s shadow.

He has to go on a classic journey of self-discovery, but it’s not really a “journey” per-say. He tries to learn from his little sister, Shino! She was very quick to seperate her identity from being “daughter of death” and he spends more time with her to figure out how to do that himself. He keeps it a secret but Shino eventually finds out because of the suspicious amount of time he’s giving to her. She teases him and all that, as siblings do, but she helps him. Eventually, he finds who *he* is meant to be, and his powers form. As for what those powers are…??? Idk yet💀

Depsite finding his true self, he still keeps the death imagery and symbolism on his clothing, because he still has a duty to uphold. He might not take is as seriously as his big brother Goth, but he might as well take advantage of it and make a killer outfit. That’s what he thinks, anyway.

Also, thanks for the ask! This is the first time I’ve gotten one, and it was really fun to answer. Hope I satisfied your want for info about this silly guy!

#utmv #utmv sans #underverse #undertale #raven sans #infodump #ship child #afterdeath #geno x reaper #heehee #this was fun #feel free to ask me anything else #I’ll answer to the best of my ability