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spenceobsessed · 2 months

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post prison!spencer reid x fem!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, smut with a plot

summary: spencer can't help but despise his "replacement", especially during an undercover mission in a nightclub.

MDNI 18+

“this is insane.” penelope garcia mutters on the other end of the phone call. “there’s no way jeffery was able to absolutely take himself off the internet.” she huffs, the keyboard clicking in the background. “i’m gonna keep working. i’ll be back in a jiffy, i swear!” she says sweetly before hanging up.

the unsub, jeffery hogan had abducted then murdered four young women in los angeles california. the team had been in la for three days now, and jeffery had already killed two more women before they could stop him. all of them were getting antsy and a little angry.

you sigh, leaning back in your chair as the rest of the team begins talking amongst themselves, minus spencer, who had been staring at a map for twenty minutes.

“reid.” you say, catching his attention. he doesn’t look up, but you can tell that your voice startled him slightly.

“hmm?” he says, annoyance lacing his tone. you roll your eyes. he had been an absolute dick to you since day one. the whole team had described him as a saint, yet, you couldn’t see it. yes, he was attractive, but that didn’t distract from how hateful he was towards you. plus, you had been nothing but nice to him when you first met him, doing nothing to get on his bad side.

“did you make a connection between the locations?” you ask curtly. he huffs. “i don’t see you doing anything helpful.” he snaps, finally looking up from his map to glare at you.

“spence,” jj begins, joining the conversation unknowingly. “any connections?” he smiles and turns to face her, like you hadn’t just asked the same question.

“the one common location that overlaps with all the crime scenes and significant places in jeffery’s life is the ‘night owl’, a local night club.” reid says, smirking at you when he finishes his sentence like a teenager. you scoff.

emily gives them a look that says “act professional please”.

“we have no idea what he looks like, we only know bits and pieces of his life that garcia could dig up, how are we going to catch him?” matt asks, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, a coffee in hand.

“i could go undercover,” you begin with a shrug. “most of the girls he abducted have been around my age and have my same features.” emily nods in agreement.

“one issue.” rossi says. “the unsub has always abducted women on dates.” you nod. that’s true.

“i could go with you.” matt says, standing up straight and taking a sip of his coffee. you open your mouth to thank him but emily cuts you off.

“no offense simmons, but what if we sent in reid instead? he closer matches y/n’s age and resembles the victims boyfriends more closely.”

spencer opens his mouth to protest but tara cuts him off with a smile. “great idea, you guys should leave in an hour or so, you better start getting ready.”

you watch as reid fights the urge to say something rude, but is quickly whisked away by emily.

jj helps you get ready in another conference room of the precinct, dressing you like the average clubber.

your outfit is a small, tight, red mini dress, with matching heels and accessories. you had to admit, you looked good. you found yourself wondering what they had put reid in and whether he would find you attractive in this tight dress.

“you look amazing.” a voice breaks you out of your trance as you’re putting in an ear piece. you smile, turning to face emily.

“thank you.” you say softly, using your hands to smooth out your dress. “i think i’m ready.” you add, slightly nervous. emily reassures you that you will do great and asks you to follow her outside.

that’s where you’re met with spencer reid. he looks unfortunately handsome, hot even, wearing the most casual “spencer outfit” you have ever seen: corduroy pants, converse, and a white button down. the white button down was sheer linen (very beachy) and allowed you to barely see his chest. you quickly remind yourself that he is in fact a dick, hoping that will somehow make him less attractive.

you watch as his eyes wander your body. emily seems to notice and clears her throat.

“you guys gotta get going.” she breathes out a smirk on her face.

reid walks over to the side of the car. you smile slightly as he opens the door, your smile fading as he slides in alone slamming the door behind him.

“petty bitch.” you mutter. your heels angrily clicking against the asphalt as you walk to the other side of the suv, ripping open the door and sliding in with your arms crossed. you slam the door behind yourself, eyes glaring into the side of reid’s face.

“look,” you begin, your tone angry. “if this is going to work you need to at least try to pretend not to be a fucking asshole.” he scoffs, turning to face you.

“watch your tone.” he says lowly, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. your arms are still crossed and you watch as spencer’s eyes go from your face to your tits, then back up again.

you remind yourself that indeed, he's just a man. he may be a genius but behind that, he’s simply just a man with needs. you were going to make tonight hell for him.

you smirk, eyes glaring into his. “do your fucking job and i just might comply, doctor.”

he turns his head away from you, staring out the window, a new type of tension in the air.

“can you guys hear me?” jj says through you ear pieces. “yeah.” reid says, you can hear how angry he is, just through one word.

the team gives you both a rundown and reminds you both of your parts.

“…remember you’re a couple!” garcia reminds you. the team agrees loudly on the line. “yeah,” alvez says. “pretend to like each other for one night.”

“we’ll try, alvez.” you reply as the suv pulls up in front of the busy nightclub.

you look over at reid. “open my damn door and look like you fucking mean it.” you say through gritted teeth. he doesn’t respond as he steps out of the car, shutting his door quietly and makes his way over to your side of the car. he opens your door with a fake smile on his face, putting out his hand for you to grab. you get out of the car, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“grab my waist.” you demand. he huffs under his breath, reaching his large hand to rest on your waist. he leans in to whisper back. “you will not dictate this night. i have over ten more years of experience than you, on this team. you do not get to boss me around, y/l/n.” he says through gritted teeth, pulling away from your ear with a fake smile on his face. you don’t have time to respond as he says; “let’s go, baby.”

the nickname hits you like a brick, especially the way it comes out of his mouth so effortlessly. in an attempt to control your composure, you smile and lean against him as he rubs his hand lovingly across your waist.

you both enter the night club, the mix of bright lights and darkness temporarily blinds you as you grip onto spencer for support.

“don’t respond, but we see you’ve made it inside. go grab a drink from the bar then hit the dance floor.” emily orders. spencer nods, leading you towards the busy bar.

as you approach the bar, the bartender asks what you both want. “i’ll have a club soda with lime.” spencer says, turning his head to look down at you. “what do you want, baby?” he asks, rubbing circles on your waist softly. you smile back up at him pretending like you don’t want to kill him and subtly dig your ass into his crotch. he sucks in a breath.

“i’ll have a vodka soda.” you say with a sweet smile on your face. the bartender nods going to make the drinks.

you look back at spencer, his jaw clenched and his breathing heavy. you set your phone down on the bar and “accidentally” knock it off of the counter.

“oops!” you say dryly, bending down to pick it up, your ass now rubbing against his crotch. you subtly feel something twitch in his pants.

“y/n.” he warns you. you nod innocently. “hmm?” you hum. he moves his hand from your waist. you look back at him to silently scold him, but he quickly uses both hands to push you away from his crotch. he slides his hands down your waist, to your ass, then pulls down your dress in one quick motion. a man standing to his left begins complaining loudly about how he can no longer see your "fattie". you almost thank him, then remember that its fucking spencer you're dealing with.

he doesn’t say anything and simply hands you your drink, leading you away from the bar and the creepy men, to a nearby table.

you bite your lip to hold back hateful words that dare to spill out. you stand in silence, spencer sipping his drink while you chug yours.

"you look miserable." emily says in your ears. "do something." she adds.

"wanna dance, pretty boy?" you ask him, the nickname falling from your mouth accidentally. you pretend like it was on purpose as spencer looks up from his drink, slightly stuttering over his response.

"y-yeah, yeah." he repeats, regaining his composure. he grabs your hand and leads you towards the crowd of sweaty people dancing, only looking back once to make sure you were still there

spencer scans the crowd as he pulls you into his chest harshly.

"i'm not just some doll you can throw around, reid." you yell over the music, sick of his bullshit. he looks you in the eyes and shrugs.

as the song changes, couples around you begin to make out.

"kiss me, reid." you say, realizing the awkward dancing in a crowd of horny couples would defer the unsub's attention. spencer doesn't seem to hear you. "reid." you repeat, his eyes still scanning the room. "spencer." you say, the first time you've ever said his first name to him. this catches his attention. his gaze finally falls to you, his frame towering over yours as you wrap your arms around his neck.

"i need you to kiss me, spencer."

the usually dick-ish man makes no cocky response. instead, he simply tips his head down capturing your lips in a kiss. the kiss is awkward at first, but quickly turns heated as you press your body against his. his hands, which were loosely on your waist move downward, rubbing circles on your ass and somehow moving you closer to him.

you run your hands through his hair, feeling him moan softly into your mouth. his sweet noises immediately go straight to your now-wet-core. you break the kiss for a second, to catch your breath, your faces still inches apart.

spencer's pupils are blown, his hair is messy, and his lips slightly swollen, tinted red from your lipstick. fuck, you want to devour him.

spencer quickly resumes the kiss, this time you don't have to ask. you easily feel how hard he is already, with his cock pressed against your leg.

you groan softly as you push your tongue into his mouth, eliciting more sweet noises from the handsome man.

"nice job guys, we have a suspect at 3 o'clock." emily says into our ears, reminding us that we aren't alone.

“let’s go somewhere more secluded.” spencer whispers, his breath hot on your cheek. he wants to lure the unsub out. you nod, waiting for him to move. instead his hands are still on your ass, his eyes on you, like he’s taking a mental picture.

“pretty boy.” you say almost inaudibly. “let’s go.” he spins you around so you’re in front now, able to maneuver your way out of the crowd. one of his hands rests on the small of your back protectively as you head towards the back corner of the club, a stark contrast to the way he was treating you less than 10 minutes ago.

“the hypothetical unsub’s eyes are still on you guys but he hasn’t moved, we can’t seem to see his face on camera. you need to get him to move closer.” jj announces in your ears.

“she’s telling us to kiss again.” you whisper. he nods, placing his large hand on your cheek and swiping his thumb across your lips. you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning into kiss him. he picks you up slightly, just enough to allow you to sit on him as he takes a seat on a random couch.

as he moves from kissing your lips to your jaw and neck, you instinctively begin rocking your hips against his, feeling how hard he is under you.

he groans softly against your neck, his kisses becoming sloppier.

“y/n.” his tone desperate, the use of your first name alarming. “if you keep going i might not be able to maintain professionalism.”

you bite your lip excitedly. “do you want me to stop then, spencer?” his eyes stare into yours, his hands on your hips.

“no.” he breathes out, pulling you closer to him and kissing you again. he moves his hands upwards as his lips move downwards, slowly leaving kisses and rubbing your now-visible nipples through the thin fabric for your dress. you suck in a breath at the new sensation, your head thrown back in ecstasy.

“the unsub moved into the light, it’s jeffery. sending alvez and rossi in now to apprehend him. you guys can stand down, nice work.” emily says, startling them slightly. you pull away from spencer, your underwear undeniably wet and your cunt begging for attention. you awkwardly remove yourself from his lap, sitting next to him on the sofa, noticing that in fact he was hard, an outline of his dick highlighted in the odd club lighting. he squirms in his seat slightly, obviously trying to readjust.

“y/n,” he says, noticing your eyes on him. you hum in response, your eyes moving from his cock to his face. “bathroom.” he says simply.

he doesn’t give you an opportunity to respond, simply getting up and leaving the room. you wait for a few seconds, processing his words and attempting to wrap your head around the fact that an hour ago you hated this man and now you were dying for him to fuck you.

a few minutes pass and you make your way to the bathroom where you don’t even knock, you simply walk in. spencer is there waiting. immediately as you enter the bathroom, he locks it, then attached his lips to yours. you moan softly into the kiss, jumping up to wrap your legs around his waist. he, however, seems to as other plans as he sets you down on the sink and lowers himself between your legs.

he leaves soft kisses up your thighs, your legs now thrown over his shoulders. “spencer,” you beg, his lips dangerously close to your cunt. “please.”

he smiles as you beg, hooking his finger on your underwear and pulling them down your legs roughly. he lowers his head farther in between your legs, licking a slow stripe down your cunt, causing you to squeeze your legs around his head and moan.

hearing your reaction, spencer moans softly against your pussy, the vibrations making you gasp.

unfortunately the club music had been turned off and if anyone were to walk by, they would probably hear you making sounds. you cover your mouth with your hand to make sure you guys don’t get caught.

he moves his tongue farther into you, the sound of his mouth on your soaking wet cunt making lewd sounds that fill the small bathroom.

you moan into your hand, bucking your hips against his face.

he pulls his mouth away from you and without skipping a beat he inserts one of his large fingers into you, grinding his crotch against the edge of the sink to get himself off.

you open your mouth to tease him but he interrupts you by adding another finger into your pussy. you can’t help but moan loudly, feeling your walls clench around his fingers.

“so good for me.” he says breathlessly, his fingers’ pace rough inside you and his hips fast against the sink counter.

“spencer,” you say in between ragged breaths. “i’m so close!” he smiles at your words, removing his fingers from your pussy with a pop.

you groan softly, hating the feeling of emptiness.

“spencer.” you warn, sitting up to get a good look at him. he has a look in his eye, a smirk on his face.

“what’s up?” he says nonchalantly, licking you off his lips and his fingers. you ask yourself how he can be so calm when he was literally just finger fucking you and eating you out. his cock is still dangerously hard, a spot of pre-cum on his cute little pants. you catch yourself imagining how big he is.

“fine.” you huff, seeing how he didn’t seem like he wanted you to finish. you insert your own fingers into your swollen cunt, pumping them inside yourself like spencer had been only a minute ago.

you over exaggerate your moans watching as spencer begins to rub himself through his now tight pants.

“i’m not going to beg you, pretty boy, but i need your cock inside of me right now.” he smirks at your words, making his way back over to you, hands moving to your face, kissing you passionately.

“i’m pretty sure that was begging, y/n.” he says as he pulls away from the kiss, beginning to unbutton his pants.

however, loud knocks interrupt him. "spencer?? are you in there??" emily's familiar voice, fills the room.

"uh, yeah! i'll be out in a second!" he says, beginning to re-button his pants, his cock still visibly hard. emily says something inaudible from the other side of the door then walks away. you lean forward on the sink counter, resting your head on spencer's shoulder, his arms wrapping around you.

after a second of peace, you hop of the counter in an attempt to fix your appearance, sliding back on your awkwardly soaked underwear.

"can we please finish this later?" spencer speaks up, catching you off guard. you smile, your brain still processing the fact that an hour ago you wanted to kill this man.

"yes, please."

part 2 :)

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader smut #bau #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fandom #part one #smut #enemies to lovers #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spenceobsessed

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sunflower-lilac42 · 3 months

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✧ 𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || nico hischier ♔

summary: after their loss to the lightning, nico can’t help but blame it on himself, spilling out his feelings in post-game. he was disappointed, embarrassed, pissed, with himself, with his team, with everybody, except for her. and she is the only one who can help

warnings: sad nico, people being mean, lindy, nico having negative thoughts, nico being mean to himself

notes: surprise post! i had too. he looks so sad and i'm just gonna go and cry... game show network is the greatest thing to ever watch in a hotel room so i used it (and because it was the only thing i could think of what the hotel usually has) add yourself to the taglist ➵ taglist!

publish date: 01/27/24

nhl masterlist | main masterlist

One after the other the Lightning scored. Devils bounced back once, twice, three times but it wasn’t good enough. Would anything he did be good enough? Was he doing enough as captain? Was he pushing them as hard as he should be pushing them? Was he contributing to their loss? Was he the reason?

All those thoughts plagued Nico’s mind as he walked back through the tunnel both dejectedly and embarrassed with his team’s performance. He wasn’t sure if he was mad enough to break something, most likely his stick, or if he was embarrassed enough to hide from the crowds and the fans on the internet.

He felt disgusting, sweat beat down his forehead, and his hair was greasy and sweaty as well. He could feel how he smelled as he took off his gear and threw it into the cubby. He attempted to calm himself, taking a deep breath just as she taught him but it wasn’t working.

He felt annoyed, frustrated, and angry as he did post-game, all these feelings were sitting up front in his mind, ready to flow out of his mouth as he answered questions.

“Disappointing, I’m embarrassed a bit, to be honest. We got outworked, outplayed in such a big game. The way we performed is embarrassing.”

“I wish I could answer that, just not good enough. I have to calm down here and think about it. I don’t have an answer right now.”

“I hope everybody thinks about what team they want to be a part of coming down the stretch. If we want to be a playoff team, we have to figure something out.”

He finished getting change, gears reeling in his mind as he put his suit jacket back on. He was the last one out of the locker room and with it being All-Star break, he was glad he didn’t have to look at anything even remotely hockey-related for a while.

He saw her in the distnace, pacing back and forth. It was an unusual look for her, usually, she was the calm one in the relationship. In reality, she was nervous about how to calm Nico down. From the moment the Lightning scored those two goals she knew how much Nico would be blaming himself.

She locked eyes with him after two minutes of him just standing there staring at her, “You ready?”

He just nodded, running his hand through his hair again. She sighed and held out her arm for him which he took immediately, his hand intertwining with hers. She gave his hand a squeeze and he retaliated with one of his one, walking in silence to her car. Nico was in no state to drive so she opened the passenger door for him, allowing him to climb in.

She took a deep breath after shutting the door and making her way to the driver's side. As she rounded the front of her car she looked at him through the front windshield, he looked disheveled. He looked sad. She hadn’t seen him look like this in a while, maybe even ever. She opened to driver’s side door and climbed in herself, turning on the radio and adjusting her mirrors as if she hadn’t been the one driving before.

She played lo-fi music on their back to her hotel, Nico already had planned to stay the night with her. The car ride was silent besides the soft beats coming from the speakers and the raindrops hitting the car. She had the air conditioning on low, it was 70 degrees in Flordia. She had taken her jacket off, handing it to Nico who held it close to his chest.

Halfway through the drive, she glanced over at her boyfriend to see that he had now taken his suit jacket off and wrapped himself in hers. Nico’s eyes were looking everywhere but at her, not even daring to risk the chance of their eyes locking again. He knew the second they did, he would blow a fuse or start bawling his eyes out.

When they got to the hotel, y/n pulled into the closest spot possible. They sat there for a few minutes, both of them debating on what they wanted to do. She looked at her boyfriend, eyes saddened by how he looked, “You ready to go up?”

He hadn’t spoken a word since he finished post-game, not wanting to say anything he would regret later, so he just nodded. They both exited the car and walked into the hotel and to the elevators. Nico reached for her hand when they got into the elevator and it started to move up. She gave him a soft smile, tightening her hold on his hand.

They walked to her room, y/n swiping her card and opening the door wide for him. They stood in the entranceway of the room, both silent and looking around. She looked at him as she threw her keys on the counter and went to take his suit jacket out of his hands, her jacket still lying around his shoulders.

“You gonna go take a shower, baby?”

He nodded slightly, giving her all the strength he could muster right now. She sighed again and nodded, kissing him on his shoulder before rubbing his back. Before he could get far, y/n handed him the clothes that she had brought down for him. He smiled a very small, but grateful, smile at her before turning around and walking into the bathroom.

She let him be for a few minutes, changing into her clothes before knocking on the door realizing that the shower wasn’t running yet, “Neeks?”

He let out a very soft and deep ‘hmm’ as he stopped whatever he was doing, “Is there anywhere specific you want to eat.”

He sighed, “I’m not really hungry.”

She frowned at his words, worry seeping deep into her brows, “I know, honey, but you got to eat something.”

He didn’t sound frustrated when he spoke, he knew she was right but he just wanted to go to bed, “I’m not hungry, y/n.”

She was slightly taken aback by the use of her name, he never called her that. She looked up at the ceiling, tears welling in her eyes, “Okay. I’m going to order some food just in case you want to eat later.”

He didn’t say anything after that, turning on the shower. When she heard the water running she walked away from the door and sat on the bed, toying with the edge of her pajama pants. She turned on the TV, scrolling to find anything remotely interesting to watch.

She ordered pizza, one of the simpler things to get delivered, and one that was open this late at night. She played along with the Game Show Network, Family Feud was on right now. She looked up when she heard the bathroom door click open. Nico stepped out, his gray sweatpants hung low on his hips and his t-shirt was clutched in his hands. He walked over to the bed, looking at the TV to see what was on.

He crawled into the bed, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend’s hips, and laying his head in her lap. Y/n ran her hand through his now freshly washed hair. She almost cried herself when she felt her pant leg dampening from tears, “Honey…”

“It’s my fault, y/n. I can’t lead this team to the victory we need. I can’t do anything. I can’t fucking shoot. I can’t score. I can’t- I can’t-” His breathing picked up and y/n lifted his head from her lap, making him sit up so she could look at him face to face.

She cupped his cheeks and brought his face closer to hers, “Breathe, honey. It’s okay, just focus on me okay? It’s gonna pass, I promise.”

A few breaths later, his breathing regulated into its usual pattern, “I’m gonna need you to listen to me, Nico.”

He nodded his head but didn’t look into her eyes, “Look at me Neeks.”

He did, his eyes gazing into hers causing him to tear up again, “It is not your fault, you hear me? I cannot tell you how amazing you have been doing for this team. This team would not be the same without you. Remember when you got hurt back in October? They were not at their best.”

“That’s because-”

“No. It had nothing to do with Jack. Even when Jack came back they still weren’t playing well but as soon as you came back you went what? 8 and 2 in 10 games. You have done nothing but keep this team and their good spirits up. You are the core of this team, Nico. They cannot do it without you. So what people say differently. Screw what they say, hell even screw what Lindy says.

“You cannot bring yourself down because of what the team couldn’t do. Sure you can go on and on about how you could’ve helped them practice or given them advice but at the end of the day, they are in charge of their own performance. Do not let people bring you down because you are better than that.”

Nico held tears in his eyes, starting to slowly believe her. Those negative feelings that had hit him at the end of the game left his mind and he just buried his head into her chest, letting her run her hands through his hair and rub slow circles on his back.

“I love you, and I am so so so proud of you.”

He sniffled, “Thank you. I love you too.”

She kissed his head and moved him to lie down under the covers of the bed. Nico let himself be fully encompassed in her arms with the soft noise of the TV still playing in the background.

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

#sunny lune writes #hockey #nhl #nico hischier #nh13 #nico hischier x reader #nj devils

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avastrasposts · 8 months

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The Pilot and his Girl - ch. 28**

Sorry for the slight delay in this chapter, it's a bit of a "travel" chapter and although I had a couple of scenes I wanted to add, the rest of the chapter just didn't flow. But here it is, finally!

Series Master List

Chapter 29 - Warnings have their own post - Word count: 6.9k

The weather outside the school is a crisp, early fall day, and as you all make your way towards the interstate heading north you relish being away from the city again. The route chosen takes you away from suburban areas as much as possible so for hours you walk through green fields and patches of forest where the leaves have started changing color. It’s like a picturesque fall hike, except all seven of you are armed, guns ready, and walking with your heads on swivels.

Pope’s taken the lead, Joel behind him, not willing to let Pope be all in command. Frankie and you follow Joel, and Tommy brings up the rear behind Will and Benny. By midday you’ve covered a lot of ground and take a break by a small lake. You gratefully sink down onto the ground with your back against a log. The ache in your shoulder is a dull throb and you’re trying to get by without any more painkillers.

“Just take the damn pills, cariño,” Frankie says when you shake your head.

“We don’t have that many left, what if we need them for something more serious?” you object and he raises his eyebrows.

“You can be all brave and stoic when we’re inside a QZ, out here I need you to be as good as you can be with that shoulder.” He holds the pills out again, along with his canteen and you accept them.

“ ‘Stoic’, big word there, Frankie’,” you tease him as he watches you swallow the pills.

“The Gladiator film,” he says, grinning, “Marcus Aurelius was a stoic philosopher.”

“How do you even remember that?” you ask incredulously and Frankie gives you a crooked smile as he sits down next to you.

“I’ve watched that film like thirty times.”

“Director’s cut with commentary,” Benny chips in, grinning as he sits down on the other side of you. “He was obsessed!”

“How did I not know about this obsession?” you ask, laughing as Frankie reaches across and slaps Benny’s cap off.

“It’s a masterpiece, and the Academy agrees with me because it got an Oscar for Best Film and-,” Frankie says.

“No it didn’t, Erin Brockowich won the Oscar for Best Film that year,” Benny interrupts, “I remember Julia Roberts on stage.”

“Erin Brockowich didn’t win an Oscar for Best Film!” Frankie protest, “Are you out of your fucking mind?!”

“No, you’re out of your mind if you think Gladiator beat Erin Brockowich, that film was awesome!”

“It was alright, but it did not win an fucking Oscar for Best Film!” Frankie throws his hands up, “I can’t fucking believe you, Benny, you’re delusional!”

“Russel Crowe won an Oscar for Best Actor, I’ll give you that, he was awesome. ‘What we fight in life, dies in eternity!’ “ Benny quotes in his best Russel Crowe impersonation.

“Jesus, Benny, that’s not even the quote!” Frankie sighs with a roll of his eyes as you chuckle.

“If we had a smartphone with an internet connection, I’d solve this straight away,” you say, giving Frankie a calming pat on his thigh. “But you’ll just have to hope we find a library with an encyclopedia.”

“I’m telling you, Erin Brockowich won an Oscar for Best Film, Frankie!” Benny says and Frankie mumbles something undoubtedly rude in Spanish and pushes himself up.

“I’m gonna get some lunch, I’ll get you a bowl too, cariño.” With a scowl at Benny he stalks off and you can’t help but smile at the mundane argument between the two men. Benny leans over and chuckles.

“I totally know Gladiator won the Oscar for Best FIlm, but I just love winding him up.”

“Benjamin Miller, you are a nuisance!” you laugh as Benny grins and digs into his own lunch.

You continue on after lunch, until darkness starts to settle. You find a farmstead on the outskirts of a small town and once it’s cleared you all settle down for the night. You’re excused from the watch rosta again and sleep through the night while the guys take turns standing guard. You wake up early again, Frankie had the second to last watch and he’s sleeping soundly, his arm thrown over your waist. He stirs as you shift under him, mumbling in his sleep, and you press a kiss to his forehead, making his lips curl in a drowsy smile.

“Go back to sleep, Frankie,” you whisper, and as you pull on your boots, you hear his soft snores start back up.

Joel has the last watch tonight and you find him pacing the yard in front of the farm house, turning as you step through the door.

“Morning,” you say, sitting down on the porch steps as he turns back towards the yard.

“Mornin’ “

“Quiet night?” you ask, looking out over the field beyond the farmstead as Joel turns and paces back across the yard again.

“No one came near us but a few groups of infected moving south in the distance,” he replies, turning and coming back towards you again. He stops and looks down at you, his brow furrowed, looking like he has something on his mind. You wait, looking up at him as his jaw ticks.

“Frankie’s girl,” he says eventually, “Tommy told me. I’m sorry.” His voice is gruff, his eyes not meeting yours, instead scanning the sides of the building.

“Thanks,” you say, “Tommy told me about Sarah, I’m really sorry too, Lucía loved her.”

“Yeah.” He stands still for a beat before he turns and paces back across the yard, stopping at the last building and looking out over the fields.

You remain on the porch, watching his rigid posture, but he doesn’t turn and come back and eventually you hear people moving inside the house and you get up to help with breakfast, leaving him to his vigil.

You made good time yesterday, Pope shows you on the map how far you’ve come.

“We should make it to the Boston QZ before nightfall, but it’ll be slower going today since we’re moving through populated areas,” he says, his finger tracing a line across the map.

“More people, more infected,” you sigh, accepting your backpack from Frankie as he comes over.

“Yeah, we need to be on our toes today,” Pope agrees, “But, there’s seven of us, I’d think twice before I mess with an armed group that large.”

“Let’s hope you’re right, Pope,” Will says, scanning the map next to you, “Let’s head out.”

Pope was right about it being slower going. Only a few miles from the farmstead the suburbs begin, a massive sprawl all around the greater Boston area. The six men quickly fall into a familiar pattern of tactical advancement, you stay close to Frankie, as two men move forwards, covered by the other four, repeating as you move through the neighborhoods. Eventually you leave the suburbs behind and move into Boston, heading towards North End where the QZ is supposed to be located.

As you’re moving across a large street, you and Frankie in front, you suddenly hear a desperate call for help. Frankie immediately holds up his hand to halt the others, Joel moving up next to you. The call is coming from a side street just up ahead and carefully the three of you move forward, the other four covering your backs. As you clear the corner, guns raised, you see the source of the noise, a young boy is trapped underneath a dumpster, his leg jammed and he’s crying out as he pulls on it. Next to him is a teenage girl, trying to shift the heavy dumpster off his leg. The boy cries out as he sees you, his face twisted in pain.

“Please, help!” the girl calls, “my brother’s stuck!” She puts her shoulder against the dumpster and tries to shift it again. You holster your gun and start jogging towards the pair.

“Cariñio, wait!” Frankie calls as he sees you move, following you with his hand out to pull you back.

“Stop!” Joel bellows and yanks Frankie to the side so that they both tumble to the ground behind a car, you look back at them as you step forward and your leg catches on a wire. You barely have time to register your mistake and then a loud explosion knocks you sideways, showering you with dust and debris, you cry out as you land on your injured shoulder. Your vision is filled with dust, your gasping to catch your breath and your ears are ringing, somehow you register the loud noise of gunshots and then Frankie is on you, pulling you backwards across the ground behind a van. His face is swimming in front of yours as you try to focus on what he’s saying, he’s patting you down, lifting your shirt to and checking your abdomen. You shake your head, trying to clear the fog, and slowly Frankie’s voice comes back to you.

“Cariño! Are you hurt? Tell me where it hurts?” He’s kneeling in front of you, his hands on your shoulders, trying to make you focus on him. A corner of your mind registers that the gun fire has stopped and you try to feel if you’re hurting anywhere.

“Only my shoulder,” you croak finally, “I landed on it.” You shake your head again and blink and Frankie swims into view, clearer now. “I think I’m ok, my ears are ringing but nothing is broken.”

“Get her up, we need to move,” Joel barks from somewhere to your right, loud enough to cut through the ringing, and Frankie moves around, putting his arm around your waist and helping you up. You’re dizzy but it fades quickly as you take a few steps towards the street, your legs are a bit shaky but nothing hurts. You glance over at the boy and the girl and see them lying lifeless against the dumpster, multiple bullet wounds leaking blood onto the ground.

“Let’s move!” Pope yells and Frankie pulls you along, as Will comes up on your other side to check if you need support.

“I think I’m good, Will, thanks,” you say, your legs feeling steadier with each step.

“Ok, good,” he replies, glancing over his shoulder at the site of the explosion, his gun raised. “I think you got really lucky, that bomb was made wrong. Lots of noise, very little blast, amateur work.” He catches your eyes and gives you a serious look, “You got really lucky.” You drop your gaze, you know you fucked up, he doesn’t have to say it.

You all move quickly through the next few blocks and shouts go up behind you, prompting Pope to hastily consult the map before making a sharp turn. “Down here, we’ll lose any pursuers in the alleys,” he says and you all jog along as quickly as possible while still checking every street corner. Eventually you come out on a big highway, following it north and slowing down to a walk again.

You walk next to Frankie, he keeps glancing over at you but you keep your eyes on the ground or forward on Joel’s back. You put everyone in danger, especially Frankie, by being thoughtless and trusting. Guilt and shame crawls up your limbs and makes your cheeks burn as you remember how both Frankie and Joel yelled at you. You can’t bring yourself to look at Frankie, his concerned eyes, you know he’ll smooth it over, make it out as if it was a mistake anyone could’ve made. But you know that’s not true, the others saw the trap instantly, you just saw two children who needed help and rushed in without thinking.

“I’m sorry, Frankie,” you finally mumble when you can’t take it anymore. And just like you thought, Frankie immediately takes hold of your hand and strokes soothing little circles onto your skin.

“Don’t worry about it, cariño, you made a mistake, the important thing is you’re not hurt.”

You hear Joel growl in front of you and Frankie looks up at him as Joel throws a scowl over his shoulder at you, “You could’ve gotten us all killed, being so fucking trusting, fucking stupid.”

You feel your cheeks heat up again and you bite your lip, dropping your eyes to your boots as you continue walking. But Frankie tightens his hold on your hand as he glowers at Joel’s back.

“Shut the fuck up, Joel,” he snarls, “she made a mistake and I should’ve been more alert, should’ve seen it first.”

“Well, that’s just the fucking problem isn’t it?!” Joel snaps, stopping and spinning around to face Frankie and you. “You’re so fucking wrapped around her that you don’t pay attention to anything. Could have fucking clickers tearing the rest of us to pieces but you’d only see her. She’s a fucking liability.”

You see Frankie opens his mouth to yell at Joel but Will’s firm hand comes down on his shoulder.

“Ok, that’s enough,” he says, his voice determined and signaling ‘end of fucking discussion’. “We need to keep moving, we’re almost at the QZ. This is not the time or the place.”

Without a word Joel turns on his heel and marches off, overtaking Pope who’s looking at Frankie with his eyebrows raised. Frankie snaps his mouth shut, his teeth grinding together as he starts walking again. He’s still got a hold of your hand but as you walk you pull away from it, taking out your gun as your eyes scan the broken city around you. Joel words sting, there’s a truth to them, Frankie’s said so himself back in Arlington when you asked to help with the smuggling. ‘I wouldn’t be able to focus on what we’re doing if I know you’re out there too’. He only let you join in the operation when you pleaded with him. And now you’d proven how right he’d been, you made a mistake and his focus had been on you, not the potential danger. You grip your gun tighter, keeping your eyes on the horizon as you swallow down the lump in your throat and keep walking, trying to ignore Joel’s furious form in front and Frankie’s worried looks on your left.

Downtown Boston is a mess, a wrecked no man’s land of broken buildings and water filled craters. It’s slow going with many detours and uneasy sprints across streets as you follow the broken signs towards the QZ. You stay behind Frankie, your gun out, pointed down towards the ground, stopping when he stops, running when he runs, making yourself small and invisible, avoiding Frankie’s eyes, and Joel’s scowls.

The QZ gate finally comes into view as the sun sinks behind the broken skyline. You make one final detour on Pope’s suggestion, all of you hiding your rifles and some of your handguns inside a building just out of sight of the gate.

“Better to stash them here than to let FEDRA take them,” Pope says, marking the building on his map as you hide your gun and holster at the bottom of your backpack.

You get to the gate, get scanned and taken to a processing center. Since it’s getting late you’re shown to a temporary housing facility, bunk beds set up in the hall of a community center, and given a thin stew for dinner. After the meager meal you get ready for bed, gratefully pulling off your boots and sinking down on Frankie’s bunk bed, you’ve been assigned the one on top. He puts his arm around you and pulls you in to rest your head on his shoulder.

“Relax now, cariño,” he mumbles, “we got here in one piece.”

“I’m really sorry about today, Joel’s right,” you whisper, guilt welling up inside you again, “I made a huge mistake that could’ve gotten us killed.”

Frankie sighs and lets his hand caress your hair as he pulls you in closer, “You made a mistake because you’re you, you’re not a soldier. And I love that,” he adds when he hears you inhale to interrupt. “You’re not a soldier and you shouldn’t have to be, I should keep you safe and I wasn’t paying enough attention today.”

“Frankie, if you blame yourself for me getting myself blown up today, I’m going to slap you,” you protest and you hear him sigh.

“But it’s true, I promised to keep you safe, both to you and to myself, and I failed.”

You pull yourself from his grip so that you can sit up straight and look at him, “You do not get to blame yourself for that and you can’t keep me safe at all times, that’s impossible.”

“I know, but when I’m right there, right next to you, I should keep you safe, I should’ve seen that fucking trap the second we turned the corner, I need to keep you safe,” his voice shifts, an edge to it you haven’t heard in a few years.

“Frankie…” you say, taking his hand as you open your mouth to argue, to pull him back from where he’s heading, but he interrupts, cutting you off.

“I need to keep you safe, you know that,” his eyes are pleading with you, “you know it’s all I have, you’re all I have. If I can’t keep you safe then…then,” he shrugs, shaking his head, “then nothing. I’m nothing. After Lucía…” he trails off, and you cup his face in your hands and lean against his forehead. “You know how close I came to leaving you because I couldn’t keep you safe,” he mumbles, “I have to keep you safe, I have to protect you.”

“I know Frankie, I know,” you stroke his cheeks with your thumbs but you don’t try to argue with him, you don’t try to convince him, you just try to calm him down. “I promise I’ll be more careful too. And we’re safe now, Frankie, we’re both safe.”

“I just wanna keep you safe, hermosa,” he mumbles, putting his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side and you lean your head on his shoulder again. “I just need to keep you safe.”

You take his other hand and tangle your fingers with his, rubbing your thumb over the bullseye tattoo and you sit in silence while the rest of the room quietens down, people settling down to sleep. Your own eyes are getting heavy and you stifle a yawn.

“I hope we can stay here now,” you mumble as he caresses your hair, his fingertips gently scraping against your scalps.

“Yeah, I hope so, Boston seems good so far,” he looks down at you as you slip further down his shoulder. “Hermosa, don’t fall asleep sitting up, c’mon, get into bed.” He smiles as he nudges you to sit upright again and starts peeling your jacket off. You nod and pull off your hoodie too before climbing up into the top bunk. Frankie stands up and tucks you into your sleeping bag and cups your cheek, his lips finding yours in a soft kiss.

“Sleep well, cariño, sweet dreams.” He chuckles softly as your eyes close before he’s even finished speaking, pressing his lips to your forehead and settling down in the bottom bunk.

FEDRA in Boston seems to have the procedure of admitting people down to an efficient art form. It only takes a few hours the next day for you all to be assigned housing, ration cards and told to report to the assignment officer in two days time. The Boston QZ is located in the city’s North End, narrow streets lined by centuries old red brick buildings and surrounded on three sides by water. You’ve all been assigned apartments in the same building, Pope, Will and Benny in one apartment, Joel and Tommy in another and Frankie and you in a small one bedroom place on the top floor overlooking Old North Church.

Frankie pulls you into his chest the second the door closes behind you. You’ve just managed to drop your bag on the floor when his arms circle around you and the cool tip of his nose presses against your neck. You hear him inhale deeply, probably smelling almost a week’s worth of dirt and sweat on your skin and you shift under him, feeling the need for a shower.

“I stink Frankie,” you giggle as he holds you tighter when you squirm under him.

“I don’t fucking care, I let you shower last time I had you alone,” he growls, “you smell great to me, you’re my favourite smell in the world.”

“Not aviation fuel?” you tease him and he chuckles into your hair. “Close second, hermosa.”

He’s walking you backwards into the new apartment, guiding you into a room that turns out to be the kitchen and with a firm grip on your waist, he lifts you up onto one of the counters.

“Look at this, perfect height and everything,” he grins as he pushes your legs apart, making room for himself between them and pulling you closer. You’ve still got your boots on, and your jacket, and you’re giggling as he starts tugging at the sleeves as he buries his face against the crook of your neck, placing wet kisses on your salty skin. When he uses his teeth, nipping that spot just under your ear, your giggles turn into a gasp and he bites harder, making you moan so that he can feel the sound come from your throat. You fight with your sleeves, finally freeing yourself and throwing your jacket on the floor and tangling your hands in Frankie’s soft curls, pushing off his cap and pulling his lips up to yours. The back of your head thumps against the cupboard behind you when he meets your kiss, his tongue greedily licking into your open mouth and pushing you back. When his hands roam under your t-shirt and caress along your sides, up your back, his fingers feel hot on your skin, making you shiver with pleasure and you tilt your head back with a soft moan. Frankie lets his mouth leave yours and instead sucks a mark into your neck, the soft tip of his tongue coming out to taste the goosebumps his scraping teeth leaves behind.

He pulls away enough to pull the t-shirt over your head and you reach out to tug off his shirt too, to be honest, it stinks, as does yours, they both end up on the floor. His skin is still tanned and golden from the day you spent on the boat, his freckles sprinkled over his shoulders and chest and before he claims your skin again, you lean forward and smooth your hands over the wide expanse of his shoulders. Frankie’s hands are stroking your back, up into your hair, letting his nails scrape along your scalp as you pull him closer and trail wet kisses between his freckles. His skin tastes like salt and dust, the unwashed cotton of his t-shirt leaving its own scent, but underneath you can still smell him. You can feel his throat hum when your lips move up over his Adam's apple and into his scruffy beard, nosing against the sweet bare patches that never fill in.

“Do I stink, cariño,” he says and you can hear the smile in his voice and you nod, letting your lips wander down along his throat again, your hands slipping down over his chest.

“You taste like salt and smell like sweat,” you murmur into his skin, enjoying the warmth that’s radiating from him, the stillness in the apartment and the calm that comes from being safe and having time. And you take your time, Frankie standing still between your legs, his hands in your hair, letting your fingertips map out a path between his freckles that you follow with your mouth. Tasting him slowly, your tongue slipping over his skin, the pebbles on his throat, the hollow just at the base. You test the give of his flesh, biting lightly like you always do, until he hums with pleasure, egging you on to bite down harder. Your mouth finds a soft spot, just beneath his collar bone, and your tongue caresses it. When the pads of your fingers drag across his dark nipples as your teeth graze his skin, biting down, he hums again, a hushed moan at the back of his throat. The sound, his soft little whine, sends a shiver down your spine, making you grip your legs around his narrow hips, heat pooling in your core and you let your fingers slip down his soft belly until you find the coarse trail of dark hair that leads down under his jeans.

He lets you undo his belt and buttons, the zipper coming down as you cup your hand over the bulge in his tight boxers.

“Cariño,” he groans, your fingers tracing the outline of his hard cock as his breath stutters, “fuck, that feels good…” he drops into the crook of your neck, his mouth breathing hot air over your skin as you continue to tease him through the warm cotton. His hands have been kneading your hips through the denim of your jeans but now he moves them onto your thighs, stroking his thumbs up along the inside towards your core and up to your belt, tugging at it. He makes quick work of it even when he has to stop and groan as your fingers become more firm around him. You lift your hips and he pushes your jeans down your legs, cursing as they catch on your boots.

“Take them off, Frankie,” you say, palming his heavy length again, pulling a deep growl from him as he bites down on your shoulder, making you whine and squeeze him in response.

“Fuck,” he breathes, pulling away and crouching down to untie your laces, quickly pulling each boot off, letting your jeans fall on the floor before he kicks off his own boots and jeans.

“Counter or bed?” he asks, pulling your legs around his waist again, his hard length pushed up against your wet folds.

“We’re not gonna last long enough to get to the bed,” you say and he grins, seeking out your mouth as he feels your fingers wrap around his cock and give it a few firm strokes, letting the precum coat the blunt head.

“Probably not, I’m-” Frankie’s reply gets stuck in his throat as he groans, his hips thrusting into your hand of their own accord. “Fuck, that feels good, hermosa,” he gasps, his cock twitching in your grip.

Guiding him right you look down between your bodies to watch as he pushes in, the stretch making you clench hard around him. He growls, a low rumbling in his throat, his fingers digging into your hips, the slick heat coating his aching hard cock and he feels your pussy pulse around him as you tangle your hands in his hair and pull his mouth to yours. When he starts to move his hips hips he has to squeeze his eyes shut, he wants to fuck you hard, built up tension making his body want to chase release too fast. But you’re just as greedy, he can feel it, your heels digging into his ass, pulling him closer with every thrust of his hips. Your lips slip from his and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, clinging to his shoulders as he slams deep. Every time he bottoms out he grinds against your aching clit, the wiry curls at the base of him slipping across it, making you gasp out hot air over his chest.

“Frankie…” you moan, “harder…please…I’m so clo..ose,” the last syllable comes out as a whine as he plants his feet firm on the kitchen floor, his hands grabbing handfuls of flesh and slamming into your, pushing you up against the cupboard with a panted groan.

“Fuck, so good…” Frankie pants, “feels so good, I won’t…”

He has to bite his lip to stop himself from coming, pistoning into you and listening to your whimpering as he hits the right spot. Your nails dig into his back, your teeth scrape across his shoulder as you seize up and cry out, your high hitting you as he grinds deep into your tight heat. The spasm of your cunt around his aching cock, deep inside you, pushes him over the edge. With a growl he pulls you in even tighter, pushing your hips onto his cock, emptying deep inside as he shivers under the onslaught.

You tilt your head back, breathing heavily as your body relaxes around him. He drops his head forward and your arms come up and cradle him against your chest, pressing kisses to the top of his head as stillness falls over you both, the only sound your breathing, as you slowly calm down.

Later, after showers with soap and shampoo, he carries you to the bedroom and places you naked on the bed and kneels by your thighs. If the first time together after a week traveling was rushed and chasing relief, now it’s slow and calm. A soft bed again, a door to close and lock, no one nearby and no need to stand guard. Frankie does what he loves best, he pushes your legs open with his calloused hands and makes himself at home between them, making you whimper his name while his cock aches under him. As your body arches up and you cry out, he pins you down, buries his tongue inside you, and begs you to let him make you come again and again.

When you finally fall asleep, the sheets are already ruined, your thighs covered in your release and his seed, Frankie’s sweat damp curls a messy halo around his head, the taste of you on his tongue. With your face nestled in the crook of his neck, your head resting on his arm, he pulls the covers over you both and holds you close with his arms circled around you. When you hook your leg over his, he feels like he should simply stay here always, never leave this bed again. Your nose against his throat, warm breath slipping over his chest, your soft waist under his arms and he feels your body rise and fall in a steady rhythm.

He has to keep you safe.

“I talked to Joel yesterday,” Will says one evening, a few weeks after you’ve all arrived in Boston. “He’s been looking into trading around the QZ, talked to some of the people selling stuff to see who’s moving what.”

Frankie and you have joined Will, Benny and Pope in their apartment, continuing your routine of sharing dinners. Tonight it’s your turn to cook and Frankie’s helping you chop up the vegetables while you try to season the rice with what little is available.

“I invited him and Tommy over tonight, after dinner, to see what they have to say, seems Joel’s keen to get into smuggling, they used to do it in the Austin QZ.” Will says, putting down bowls on the kitchen table and knocking Benny’s feet off it at the same time, “Get your stinky, fucking socks off the table, Benjamin.”

“Do you know why they left Austin?” you ask, turning to Will, who’s scowling at his younger brother.

“Tommy got friendly with a group of people who were convinced things were better up north and wanted to join them. Joel said he tagged along to keep an eye on Tommy,” Will replies and Benny nods. “Seems they had a pretty rough journey,” he says, “they lost most of the group, stopped in some QZ:s along the way, moved on when FEDRA got too oppressive or the smuggling got too dangerous.”

“So everyone in the group died until it was only them left?” you ask, seems like you guy got off easy in your journey if that’s how bad it’d been for Joel and Tommy..

“No, they left a few behind in Pittsburgh,” Will says, “Tommy said two of the guys found partners there, one of them had a kid, another one was fed up with running, wanted to take down FEDRA there. Thanks, man.” he sits down at the table and accepts a glass of whiskey from Pope. “I think Tommy wanted to do the same but Joel thought it was a bad idea and got Tommy to leave. They were heading to New York but ran into some trouble and decided it’d be safer to go further north.”

“What kind of trouble?” Pope asks, “New York seems to be the logical choice if you’re leaving Pittsburgh.”

“I didn’t ask,” Will says, shaking his head, “seemed to be a sore point with Joel so I didn’t push it.”

You put the pot of stew on the table and everyone sits down, “So the plan is to start up the way we did in New York?” you ask, “And maybe avoid pissing off any local gangs?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Will nods with a crooked grin, “Joel seemed to have some ideas so maybe he’s heard something about what’s going on.”

Joel does have plenty of ideas you realize when he and Tommy turn up an hour later. Tommy’s been asking around and there’s a couple of people to approach if you’re looking for something not available with ration cards. But Joel’s been more direct, he’s found a route to get outside and tested it, venturing far outside the wall and picking up the rifles and ammo you left out there. He’s also made a connection with the man who runs the private radio in the QZ and figured out which FEDRA soldiers have what weaknesses and who can be exploited for those weaknesses.

“How’d you find out all that,” Will asks as Pope and Frankie exchange a worried glance.

“Asked the right people in the right way,” Joel grunts, stretching out his long legs as he leans back on the couch.

“What do you mean, ‘the right way’?”

Joel eyes Will for a few seconds before he responds, “I ask and make sure they know they need to tell the truth;” he says, his tone curt and crossing his arms over his chest, his face closed off, it’s like watching a shutter come down the way he clenches his jaw tight. There’s a menacing tone to his voice that makes you shudder when he says it and by the way Frankie tilts his head and shoots a quick glance at Pope, you know you’re not the only one who picked up on it.

“Joel, you know I’ve been smuggling for years,” Will says, “We’ve got to be more subtle or FEDRA’s gonna catch on and we haven’t got any protection in place yet.”

“That’s what I’m getting us,” Joel says, “protection. And, speaking of protection,” he looks over at Frankie, he’s sitting next to you as usual, with his arm over your shoulder, “you two can’t go on runs together, you don’t prioritize right when she’s with you and it puts the rest of us in danger.”

“Joel,” Benny interjects, he can see Frankie’s hackles rising, “we came all the way from Arlington and it was never an issue, Fish’s got everyones’ back.”

“She nearly got us killed yesterday,” Joel growls, “because he wasn’t paying attention to covering us, only her. No offense, darlin’,” he says, looking over at you and you’ve never felt less like someone’s ‘darlin’ with the way he’s looking at you, “I’m sure you can handle yourself, but I ain’t working with you and Frankie together when it’s plain as daylight who his first priority is.” Joel shifts his look over to Frankie before he lands on Will, “He’d try to save her even if it was hopeless, he’s too focused on her.”

“Well, I guess that’s us out then, Will,” Frankie growls just as low as Joel in response, “because I’m not letting her go out on a run without me.”

“She’s a good shot and a great look out, Joel,” Pope interjects, looking at you and giving you a small smile, “I’d work with her any day. And Fish, I trust him with my life,” Pope looks over at Joel again, “we need both of them.”

“Like I said,” Joel is standing up, getting ready to leave, “I’m sure she can handle herself and I know Frankie’s as skilled as any of you guys, but I don’t trust them together, she makes him unfocused and I ain’t risking my life for it.”

Frankie opens his mouth to snarl something, but Will’s quick nod at him makes him snap his mouth shut while Tommy stands up and joins Joel at the door.

“Thanks for the whiskey, see y'all tomorrow,” he says, giving a wave as Joel disappears out the door and he follows, an uncomfortable silence falling over the room when they’re gone. You’re chewing on the inside of your cheek, your eyes on your hands and you feel Frankie’s fingers flex around your shoulder. He inhales and opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

“I’ll just stay behind, you need Frankie more than me,” you say to the room, “and you need Joel more than me.”

“Cariño, fuck him, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Frankie says, squeezing you under his arm but you shake your head.

“He’s got a point, who would you save first, him or me?” You’re looking at Frankie and you can see in his eyes that he knows full well you’d be the first one he’d save, and you’d do the same for him. You hadn’t seen it until Joel put his finger on it, but your bond puts everyone else in danger.

“It’s never been an issue, hermana,” Santi says from his corner of the couch, “we’re not in the army anymore, different rules apply and we adapt around it. Will would save Benny first if he had to choose.”

“But Frankie doesn’t even want me going on smuggling runs,” you say, “I had to twist his arm to let me come,” Frankie’s eyes are pained when he meets yours, “You would rather I stayed behind and be safe.”

He sighs, running his hand over his neck, “Yeah, I would, you know I hate the thought of you getting hurt, or worse.”

“So I won’t go anymore,” you shrug, pretending it doesn’t bother you, and stand up, getting ready to leave, “If I’m with you on a run your focus will be on me, and I know you won’t let me go with someone else. It’s just better if I don’t go at all.” You know Frankie isn’t fighting you on this because it’s what he wants, he’s trying to hide it but you see relief in his eyes as he gets up to join you. The other men remain silent, Benny opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it, closing it again as he stands up. He surprises you with one of his signature bear hugs instead.

“I’d have you on my team any day,” he mutters close to your ear as his arms crush you to his chest, “fuck Joel.” His support makes you smile and you give him an extra squeeze before letting go.

You’re subdued when you get back to your own apartment and Frankie hovers in the living room as you go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You know him well enough after all these years to know what he’s doing, and when he comes in and leans on the door frame, watching your evening routine, you know he’s getting ready to speak after sorting the words in his head.

“Cariño,” he begins, his hand shooting up and rubbing across his neck, “I can’t pretend like I won’t be calmer if you’re here, safe, instead of out dealing with FEDRA patrols, raiders and infected and all the other shit. Joel’s right, when we’re out there, I’m always focused on you, and I’m always worried about you, in a way I never was when it was just me and the guys on missions in the army or doing runs with Pope in Arlington.” He’s gripping the door frame, grinding his fingers into the wood as he speaks, his eyes seeking yours in the mirror as you continue to brush your teeth. When you look at him he takes a tentative step towards you, his hand coming out and resting on the small of your back, as if he wants to circle your waist and pull you close, but he’s not sure how you’ll react yet. “I know you wanna come with me too, I know you worried about me when I went out with Pope, but it’ll be different now, I’ll be with Will and Ben too, we’ll be able to handle anything, it won’t be as dangerous as before.”

You spit the toothpaste out and rinse your mouth before meeting his eyes in the mirror, “I hate it,” you say, giving your head a small shake, “the idea of you being out there, in danger, I fucking hate it.”

“I know,” Frankie says softly, his arm coming all the way around your waist and you lean into him.

“If you don’t come back, I’m coming after you, you know that right?” you whisper into his chest.

“I’ll come back, I promise I’ll always come back.” He’s turning you so that he’s got you pressed against him, his arms around you and holding you tight as he drops his head against the top of yours.

“You can’t promise that, Frankie.”

“Watch me,” he mumbles, “Just fucking watch me.”

Chapter 29

Taglist: @pimosworld @i-own-loki @casa-boiardi @littlenosoul @stormseyer @mxtokko @javicstories @nunya7394 @welcometothepedroverse @harriedandharassed @meveispunk @hiroikegawa @jwritesfanfics @vickie5446

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zanniscaramouche · 9 months

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No one can claim that I'm fast, but hey! I finally had a moment to sit down and find some fics for a lovely anon who wandered into my inbox looking for classical musician!larry. A few of these are a little bit of a stretch, but hopefully there's something here you enjoy! You'll see little blue hearts along with a lil comment from me on those I have read (admittedly not that many, oops) This is definitely an AU I'd love to see more fic for! It's possible there's more out there, alas it doesn't seem to be commonly tagged. Make sure to tag your fics folks! It makes filtering for things like this so much easier! 💙

🎼 the school of extraordinary lovers // stylinsoncity @stylinsoncity - 191k "We keep telling the other, I love you and I love you, and we do, though we both know where the knives are." - Laura Van Prooyen

harry is a third-year witch and violinist at Laitswold, the only magical academy in the UK, with dreams of taking on the world, and hopefully breaking the centuries-old curse on his family while he's at it. he does not dream of facing off against his childhood rival and duet partner, but louis is back in town after six years abroad, so that's exactly what happens.

🎼 Love Is A Rebellious Bird // 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews - 134k AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

💙 zannithinks: one of those 'classics' that many love! I really enjoyed this fic, and as someone who hears Bolero every year at a local festival I think of this fic often

🎼 Saving Symphony Hall // HelloAmHere @helloamhere - 124k “I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

💙 zannithinks: I looooove this one! A well developed world and lovable OC's, this is definitely the first fic I think of when I think Larry and Classical Music

🎼 Where Words Fail, Music Speaks // Larry_you_know @larryyouknow - 45k Louis is a world class violinist. He’s one year over forty, living his best life in New York. One day, he comes to a small town in Connecticut where he inherited a house from his late father. The town looks nice and its people welcome him warmly. The problem is that Louis never knew his father and he doesn’t intend to change anything about it - his father can stuff his last will up his treacherous ass. In a strange coincidence, Louis meets town troubadour Harry, who seems wonderful to him just right until he reveals that Louis’ father was like a dad to him.

Even though Louis tries to convince himself that it shouldn’t - it hurts.

🎼 Until You Remember // Throwthemflowers - 21k Talented London pianist Louis Tomlinson moves to a small coastal town to escape the elites of his job and the mundanity of his life. Through the music of Debussy he finds a charming, wonderful friend in Harry Styles, the fiancé of the town's mayor. Louis thinks his pining is in vain until he discovers that all may not be as it seems….

🎼 And I'll Be Here When Only the Silence Remains // louisniall @louisniaii - 19k The one where Louis is a top notch mute violinist and Harry might just be the person he trusts most

🎼 Back to the Sign, and Play Through the End // tomlinsunshine - 17k Louis is a globally renowned pianist; Harry is the worst page turner this world has ever known.

🎼 Take more of my space, why don't you? // otfuckingp - 10k Of course, the universe is not on Louis’ side, nor on the side of his mental health. Just as he starts to think they might get away with this empty seat -- yes, they. He and Instrument Man are in this together, a united front against the forces of any more people-- one more person steps onto the plane. He bypasses the first fifteen rows without so much as a falter, but the fact that he slows around 17 gives Louis pause. There aren’t many empty seats in this section... Surely not. Surely the universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to do this to him.

And then there’s another body landing in the seat next to Instrument Man. Well, “landing” might be too polite. Crashing, is more like it. Within the first ten seconds, he’s elbowed instrument Man in the side, dropped something on the floor, and nearly tripped a stewardess with the exuberant flailing of his legs. All in all, completely shattering the tentative silence in row 21 DEF. Fuck.//

Harry and Louis meet on a plane. Louis is not impressed, until he is.

🎼 What is simple in the moonlight, never really is. // judgementdays @judgementdays - 5k And then they're talking, like they always do on late nights. They talk about the future, about the cute girl who was checking Harry out at Tesco's, about the cute boy who asked for Louis' number the other day. They mostly end up talking about their auditions for the school of their dreams, though.

Louis plays piano and Harry plays guitar and they're both trying to get into Juilliard but feelings sort of happen.

🎼 Play Me Something Sweet // nonsensedarling @absolutenonse - 4k “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Louis says. Harry just looks at him and lifts an eyebrow in silent question. “How about if you pretend I’m your cello as you try it out, like we used to?” Or Harry's good at a lot of instruments, but his favorite one to play is Louis.

💙 zannithinks: this one is spicey!!!!

🎼 And I've got something missing tonight. // whisperedbrave @louistomlindaughter - 2k That night, much like many others, he finishes his dinner and falls asleep to the sound of his neighbor and his piano.

or the one where Harry's upstairs neighbor plays the piano every night. one night he stops and Harry can't sleep.

#tracksintheam #trackinghome #hlficlibrary #hlcreators #hljournal #larry stylinson #larry #larry fic #larry fanfic #one direction #harry styles #louis tomlinson #1d library #1dlibrary #zanni fic rec #still not sure how that became a tag i use #classical musicians #fic rec

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stvrdrops · 10 months

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star like you pt 1 | pt 2 ☆ shuri x fem!reader (fame au)

you’re a superstar and she’s your producer. when you collide together again for the first time in a while since your listening party the two of you feel a spark.

warnings : i don’t think there are any!

word count : 2.9k+

note : hi !! this is basically my return to tumblr. i took such a long break because honestly my fixation on shuri ended and i lost a lot of my motivation. i also was figuring out a lot of college stuff and working on larger projects for my career. i didn’t want to push out mediocre content just to keep up with my posting, y'all don’t deserve that! this will be a series i plan on completing. it has a playlist attached in my masterlist but the song popular by the weeknd kinda sets up for how the story is gonna play out. so i would suggest listening to that one as you read. i hope you enjoy this ! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

“so.. what’s your name?” the man who approached you says with a nervous grin spreading across his face. it had been covered in sweat which made you guess two things. either he felt really hot in his navy blue suit, or he was entirely too nervous to be approaching you right now. you presumed it was the second option. this was only because just a few moments earlier you saw him chatting with his friends and how they would always look back at you.

you chuckle, “i’d rather you just ask me for the picture already, rather than play dumb about not knowing who i am.”

you turn your body to him, giving him your full attention. you watch as his eyes grow wide and he begins to play with his collar, as if it’s suffocating him. his sweat droplets glide down his forehead and absorb into his full eyebrows. you think it’s amusing, because you know he doesn’t just want a photo. he wants something much more.

“i’m sorry.”

“it’s fine.” you set your glass down, “so do you want the picture or not?”

“uh, yeah sure. i guess.” he says while fumbling to pull out his phone. you glance over to his buddies to see them with wide grins, so you decide to play along. you take his phone, brushing ever so slightly against his rough hands with your soft fingers. it leaves a trail of goosebumps rising against his skin that is hidden underneath the suit.

“get in the frame.” you say as you focus the camera mainly on you. that was just how you liked it, having all the attention on you. you weren’t sure how you would’ve lived any other lifestyle than the one you’re living right now. best selling new album, grammy nomination number three with one win already under your belt, sold out tour for next year, and all while you were just twenty. should you have been drinking a martini? not legally. however, the bartender was more than willing to move around the rules a little bit if he heard who track seven was written about.

he shuffles closer to you, the only thing keeping him from moving any closer is the aura you omit. he knew you weren’t on his level, especially because he was just some niche internet celebrity that only the incels of twitter knew about. you weren’t even sure how he made it into this exclusive bar.

the camera from the phone clicks and your toothy smile turns into one that shows annoyance. you hand the phone back and watch as his face is stuck in embarrassment. you soooo got off on that.

“hope you have a nice night.”

“y-yeah, you too...”

he shuffles away and you watch as he keeps his head held down low. he passes by his friends who all try to congratulate him upon his arrival back, thinking something entirely different took place during the interaction. he just walks right past them and towards the exit of the bar.

you turn your body back towards the bar and look back down at your glass. your acrylic nails play around with the olives at the bottom of the near empty drink. you hadn’t had a real motive for going to the bar. really you just wanted to escape your manager for a second and have a night out to yourself for once. living the socialite lifestyle meant you were hardly ever alone. your assistant stayed up your ass constantly and even lived in your guest house back at home in L.A.. you had to go out to places almost every night whether it be restaurants or brand launches with friends to keep up with the life that young girls only dreamt of. which, you loved it, but you also liked your own company a lot more than anyone else’s.

“here you are.” the bartender says, winking as he slides you another martini.

“who bought me this one?” you ask, considering you’ve been receiving drinks all night. to be specific, this was your seventh one. usually guys would send over fruity shots, which is what they expected you to drink. luckily you had a group of girls celebrating a bachelorette party right beside you. you had been giving them all of your drinks which they greatly appreciated.

this time the drink had been a martini. the exact same way you had been getting them all night. how thoughtful.

“cutie at the end of the bar. she said she knew you.”

your eyes glance over in the direction of where the bartender’s hand subtly points to. sure enough you saw the girl he had been referring to. she knew you, and you did know her. she was one of the producers on your new album. she’s up and coming and you knew you had to be one of the first to brag about working with her. sure enough the song was a hit and even one of the tracks off the album being put up for grammy nominations.

despite all that, you two had never actually met until your album release party. every conversation before that had been done on the phone since she wasn’t living in the U.S. at the time. it was safe to say you were surprised she was here in new york. even more surprised that she ended up at the same bar as you, on the same night, at the same time. you would say it’s fate. she would say she saw the paparazzi pictures of you entering the bar and she just happened to be in a hotel a couple blocks down. nothing an uber ride couldn’t fix.

she waves to you and flashes a smile. her pearly white teeth sparkle against her darker skin. you smile back, giving a little wave as well. she looked cute in her sleeveless shirt and dark green dress pants. Which you only saw due to her standing against the wall near the bar. the rest of the seats were taken, so she waited the long game and decided to stand until she made her move. her hair had been freshly faded and she had added a few more tattoos onto herself since the last time you two were together. you were unsure how you saw them despite the dim lighting, but you were just staring too hard to not notice.

you felt a bit overdressed in your vivienne westwood dress that accentuated your chest and sat high on your thighs. it wasn’t anything too fancy, but the black kiki marc jacobs boots you were wearing were anything but casual.

“oh yeah? tell her to come over.” you say back to him, and he gives you a look. “don’t worry i’ll tip you well.”

he smiles and walks away from you to the other side of the bar. you can’t see his lips moving, but you can tell they are because now she’s looking at him instead of you. then she looks at you, as if wanting you to say the words yourself. so you do, in a glance and a quick nod. her white teeth flash again when she smiles. she grabs her glass from the counter, filled with some type of expensive scotch. she had actually been old enough to drink, her being two years your senior.

your eyes trailed her as she made her way around. people crowded your vision of her every so often as they conversed with those around them, swiveling in their bar chairs.

“hi.” she finally says when she’s standing in front of you, looking even better up close.

“hi.” you say back as you take her in.

“mind if i sit?”

“not at all.”

share slides so easily into the seat with this energy that makes your stomach suddenly feel fuzzy.

“how’ve you been?” she asks.

“good, yourself?” you ask in return, your fingers trailing themselves around the rim of her glass. she glances at the action out of the corner of her eye.

“i mean, a lot has changed. good change though, all thanks to your album. let’s just say i won't be out of a job anytime soon.”

you laugh, “so is this drink a thank you?”

“you could say that. it’s also just a kind gesture. i saw that guy bothering you earlier.”

“bothering isn’t the right word choice. he was harmless really.” you take a sip of the martini, “besides, i know how to handle myself.”

shuri stares at you for a moment, entranced by your being. her hands are resting on her lap but they ache to reach out for your exposed skin. ever since the album party she couldn’t help but think about you. work crushes were extremely unprofessional and she prided herself on never mixing pleasure with business. you were just that one exception for her and it made her head spin.

that night at the party you had barely even talked to her, but she watched everything you did. which, she would be surprised if anyone had not been watching you that night. the party was all about you. granted, it was partly about shuri too considering she had collaborated on it. she was nice to the people who came up to her and congratulated her work. she watched as you did the same thing.

she barely got the chance to talk to you, so the fact she was talking to you now made her feel like it may be one of the last convenient chances she gets.

“do you turn down everyone who tries to flirt with you?”

“i’m not turning you down am i?” you ask her, moving your eyes from your glass to her. “why do you ask?”

shuri felt like she was caught, “i saw you do it at the party. i saw you do it tonight. i never see any media covering any dating stories with you so i’m just tryna see what the deal is.”

you raise your eyebrow, “so you’re trying to see if i’m fair game.”

shuri smiles again, this time it looks shy and innocent. it makes you swoon a little.

“yeah i guess you could say that.”

you can’t help but cling onto every word that she says because of her wakandan accent. it was so sexy the way she made every word sound so much more special than it really was. it had been sexy when you heard it over the phone and at the party, but it felt somewhat different this time.

“what time is it?” you ask her, which catches shuri by surprise.

“um,” she quickly pulls her phone out of her back pocket and opens it, “eleven fifty-six.”

you sit and think for a moment. you had to be back up at five in the morning for a photoshoot but you figured it was still early enough in the night to have some fun. lucky shuri.

“okay. let’s go to wherever you’re staying at.”

shuri was shocked by your response. she knew she was attractive and had some game. however, you were a task she couldn’t even begin to imagine tackling. you were on this pedestal to the entire world that almost made it impossible to see you as a fellow human being. with your millions of followers and “i’m the shit” mentality it made you intimidating. you were the prize and shuri had her eyes on you.

“okay, yeah. i’ll get us an uber.” shuri says while searching through her phone for the app. “it says it will be here in ten minutes.”

“cool, we can wait by the entrance.”

you get up from your chair and throw down a couple fifties. your drinks didn’t cost much but you did say you’d tip well.

shuri follows behind you like a lost puppy which makes her feel some kind of way. she wasn’t used to being the follower or the less dominant one. all you ever oozed was dominance and control. she was desperate to break that wall down and see what you were really like beneath it all. no one is ever that composed.

“so,” shuri starts as she leans against the wall next to the entrance, “what have you been up to since the album release?”

you can’t help but laugh, “everything i’ve been up to is posted on my socials.”

“oh, i know.” shuri checks her phone, “aren’t you going to ask what i’ve been up to?”

you hum, “shuri, what have you been up to?”

“nothing much. just done a lot of work producing wise. i’ve been attending a lot of events of my own recently.”

“i saw on your insta. i’m glad you were able to find a free night.” you stare into her dark brown eyes.

“yeah, me too.”

a silence consumes the two of you despite all the talking and low music filling the room. you’d never quite felt like this with anyone before. this feeling of being okay with being around someone other than yourself. shuri could sense you weren’t a person who let their exterior down easily. not your real one anyway. the wakandan knew she had a huge task ahead of her, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it all in one night. however, she knew you were feeling her, and that was good enough.

everything was going great as she continued to get closer to you with every slight step. she figured it was good for her to get closer since you weren’t telling her to stop. it wasn’t like she made the distance closing unobvious. then, of course, her phone went off.

“the uber is here.” shuri says while turning her phone off and looking back up at you.

“are you ready?” you ask her.

“yeah?” shuri says with curiosity. why wouldn’t she be?

“no, i mean are you ready?” you ask again while looking outside of the window closest to you both. shuri follows your gaze and notices all of the people outside readying their large cameras. now she knows what you meant. once pictures hit the media of you two in date outfits and getting into the same car meant all hell would break loose.

“are you ready?” shuri can’t help but ask. she was concerned about how much you’d have to deal with when the morning came. you were the shooting star and she was simply the sky that surrounded you. the attention would be on you, not her.

“i’m always ready.” you say while smiling and grabbing her hand. it made her eyes widen and she could feel the heat spreading across her soft face.

your feet pick up sooner than her own, so for the first couple steps you’re practically dragging her along. shuri eventually picks up the pace at the right time. she can see the paparazzi positioning their cameras on you and her before you’ve even exited the building.

“open the door for me.” you say under your breath as you finally make it to the big glass doors. shuri very quickly follows your command and it makes you smile.

voices begin to flood the entire entrance area, and they're all shouting for you.

“put your arm around my waist.”

shuri nods and does just that, confused by your motives.

you both begin walking down the sidewalk to the uber that seemingly couldn’t park any closer. clicks and flashes of light cloud your vision and ears but you were used to it. you hardly ever blinked anymore when one of them went right off in your face. however, shuri was struggling to make her way through it all. she wasn’t used to so many photos begin taken of her at once. she was someone who stayed in the background, never front and center.

“y/n, are you two an item?”

“maybe!” you answer with a soft, girl next door smile. you had been practicing it since you first got big.

“shuri! was this a date?” one of them asks as they shove a camera into her face. it was none other than tmz.

“well, um...” she fumbles to find the right words, afraid she may say the wrong thing and ruin her chances with you.

“it was a catch up. shuri produced one of the singles on my new album. you should def go and stream it!” you say, quickly recovering the conversation and making sure the camera grabs your good side. shuri is impressed by how good you were at giving the media not what they want, but just what they need.

“is her arm not around your waist? seems pretty romantic to me.”

“she’s making sure i don’t get lost in the crowds. besides, i don’t mind a cute girl on my hip.”

that part made her catch her breath a little. it was as if her heart stopped beating for a second and then continued on. especially when you looked up at her with sparkling eyes.

“sorry guys, we’ve gotta go.” shuri says when she realizes that you’ve both finally reached the car.

the paparazzi continued to take photos of the two of you as you hop into the car together. the driver doesn’t say a word. living in new york as an uber driver meant you picked quite a few celebrities. the less you talked meant a better tip.

shuri simply puts her hand on your leg, wanting to squeeze the skin beneath her fingertips. you lay your head on her shoulder, content with the touching. this was sure to be an interesting night as the two of you ached to touch one another in other ways.

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽︎

#stvrdrops #fanfic #mcu shuri #princess shuri #shuri #shuri fic #shuri fanfic #shuri fanfiction #shuri x reader #shuri x y/n #shuri/reader #wlw #sapphic #mcu fanfic #marvel #singer!reader & shuri #Spotify

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why-so-serious-lucifer · 5 months

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K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Dreamcatcher (Part ONE)

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. All this to say, for the love of god, I’m a sleep-deprived student and I don’t have time for internet hate, so don’t kill me. With that being said, enjoy!

Here are my credentials: I’m a HUGE fan of Dreamcatcher, and have been an Insomnia since mid-2021 or so, just after the release of BEcause. They were actually the first concert I’ve ever been to, and I couldn’t have asked for a better experience for that. They totally gave their all for those two hours and I ended up loving them even more afterward. I’m even considering going again if they have another tour.

Dreamcatcher debuted in early 2017, so they’re nearing their 7th anniversary (breaking K-pop’s infamous curse), with 7 members: JiU, SuA, Yoohyeon, Gahyeon, Handong, Dami, and Siyeon. Handong was not involved in their 2020 comebacks due to being in her home country of China when COVID broke out, but she’s since returned. They have very complicated storylines which I won’t be going too deeply into here besides when I think a specific song’s meaning in context is important to mention.

Their first single was Chase Me, which starts with a deceptively lovely piano and very typical for-late-3rd-gen-vocals. I was surprised by how k-poppy the song sounded, at least in its early stages and verses, but this was their debut after all. A lot of their early work is slowly stepping out of k-pop convention, one step at a time, although a sound all their own wouldn’t come for a couple songs. Any worries I had were assuaged by such a strong chorus, especially the combination of the bridge just before the last one.

Good Night immediately stands out from the often overly-bubbly, aegyo-filled 2017 k-pop landscape with its creepy ticking clock, marionette-like dance moves and an almost violent electric guitar riff. This time the guitar continues through the whole song, so there’s no fear of it sounding same-y. I’ll probably say this many times in this review, but I just can’t get over how well-suited DC’s vocals are to this rock sound, which isn’t always the case for other groups I’ve seen with a rock concept. The distorted voices in the bridge are a nice touch too. The b-side Lullaby is actually quite lovely, and is a good showcase for their voices in a more soothing context.

Fly High is a poppier sound for Dreamcatcher, although still with more of a rock base than is usual in k-pop, which does make sense as it’s supposed to be a prequel to their much darker storyline. I’ve heard it described before as a bit like an anime theme song, and I’d have to agree, especially the “I can make it!” combined with the strings, lighter electric guitar, and super high power note. Even with a bit of a sound change, Dreamcatcher never slows down their energy, which is something I really appreciate. They always sound like they wholeheartedly believe what they’re selling.

From the EP, Prequel, there are a few great b-sides I could choose (like the off-beat Sleep-walking), but I’m gonna have to say that Wake Up is my favorite. I’m totally biased, but I’ll just never forget the experience of watching them have the absolute best time performing this live for their encore and jumping into the stratosphere while waving a pride flag back and forth. It’s an anthem that needs an audience, first and foremost, and there’s really nothing more exciting than screaming “Wake up, wake up!” at the top of your lungs.

Full Moon is a special single for their first anniversary, and I won’t spend too much time on it, but I really like how it combines that anime-esque energy from Fly High, a harsher electric guitar, EDM, and some ballad elements. It’s a style that DC returns to later in their career, and it’s fun to see a slightly less complicated version here. I never gave this song much of a chance before so I’m glad I did now.

You & I is next in the “Nightmare” saga, and is probably both the most popular of that arc and the most similar to a lot of mainstream k-pop (which I do like, I want to be clear about that. This is not an attack on mainstream k-pop, guys, I run a blog about it.). Maybe it’s a product of that, but in such a strong catalogue it doesn’t really stand out to me. All of DC’s songs add other elements to their rock sound like EDM, pop, metal, or even a flute (we’ll get to that), but You & I is pretty straightforward, as are its lyrics. The chorus and the opening hook are both pretty good, I will admit, and always get me at least nodding to the song. Again, I in no way even dislike this one, and I’m not going to skip it if I’m doing a re-listen or if it comes up on shuffle, but I just never find myself going out of my way to listen to it.

Though the title isn’t my favorite, I quite like the EP Escape The Era. Which a Star may be an average b-side but it's really elevated by their voices and its twinkling instrumentation, while Scar takes some lovely strings and some crushing electric guitars and somehow turns itself from a rock song into a ballad and right back again. Mayday, meanwhile, is much like Wake Up with its anthemic answer, and immediately gets me headbanging to its hook.

WHAT starts with a tense energy right out of the gate with those strings, and in what may be DC’s best first 20 seconds of a song, it culminates in an excellent electric guitar riff that would feel right at home in a BabyMetal song. When the song returns to “normal” after, it only adds to the sense of “wrong” and foreboding…until the chorus smashes through a brick wall with perfect metal anthem energy. In case it wasn’t clear, I love this song and it’s tied for my favorite. You just can’t do much better than a song encouraging people to wake up, fight their nightmares, and live another day, which is one of my personal favorite song subjects.

In a switch from Escape The Era, I love What but Alone In The City is one of my least-favorite of their albums. That being said, I do like the contrast between acoustic and electric guitars in Trap, and its build up is pretty great. But I usually have more than one liked b-side.

Over The Sky is another special single and returns to the softer, more string and pop-rock led base (or “anime theme”, I suppose). It feels much happier than a lot of Dreamcatcher’s singles, and is a nice break in between their very heavy discography. I especially like the twinkling quality of its background piano.

PIRI is the end of their nightmare saga, and is a continuation of the defiance seen in What. It’s named after a traditional Korean flute that the song uses to say “sound the alarm (piri), emergency, emergency.” This is the first time rap is incorporated in its own (albeit short) verse, and I think the combination works quite well. The inclusion of the flute in the background is something I’ve never heard in a song before, but its shrillness provides a good contrast to the very low guitar and drums and Dreamcatcher’s voices sitting in the middle, perfectly capturing the song’s whole idea of being stuck in between light and dark. Overall, a fitting finale.

From PIRI’s EP The End Of Nightmares, while I do really like the sweetness of the ballad Daydream, Diamond was an easy choice for me. It has quite a minimalistic chorus, which normally I’m not the biggest fan of (for evidence, look at any review I’ve ever written to hear me decry the existence of anti-drops), but here it’s to let the great guitar hook and electronic background have some time to be appreciated and its fuller pre and post-choruses make up for it.

Deja Vu is a special single made for a game collaboration, so perhaps one would assume it to be a usual ballad or easily-overlooked piece of a great discography. One would assume very, very wrong. I assumed this, when I heard the first, very slow verse and the backing piano. Deja Vu definitely leans more into melancholy than most of their singles, but it's really at the end of the pre-chorus where the band comes in and DC goes full-on rock ballad that it begins to sound like them.The song is a slow burn, definitely, but the incredible catharsis at the end is totally worth it. Just go watch the music video itself, which is full of delightful drama and betrayal, and can best be described as “Macbeth, if it was gay, Korean, and magical.” You’re welcome.

Raid Of Dream, the EP, was also produced for the game, but the mix of metal clashing and delicate vocals in Silent Night, the backing piano for the full-on ballad Polaris, and the return of the anime theme (plus guitar solo!!) in the call-to-action that is Curse Of The Spider render it quite a strong album in their greater discography.

I don’t normally dive too deeply into Japanese releases, but, like with Taemin, Dreamcatcher’s offer an interesting expansion on their work. Endless Night starts with much harsher rock than most of their singles, while Breaking Out features a surprisingly chill tropical beat, and No More goes full now-or-never nu metal with guitar riffs that would make Babymetal proud.

R. o. S. E. BLUE is another special single produced for a game, and does lead into the more ballady side of k-pop soundtrack songs, but without sacrificing Dreamcatcher’s rock edges. It, like Deja Vu, is a slow burn that doesn’t seem to have much energy at first, but builds up to it through its great pre-choruses. It’s definitely not as good as Deja Vu (few things are), but does remind me of later-stage Gfriend’s more dramatic and celestial sound, and the music video follows JiU attempting to rescue her friends from the magical prison their minds are trapped in, at the expense of herself.

So that’s where we’ll end it for now, being around halfway through. I mentioned last time in my TXT review that this was supposed to be a one-parter and became two, but the second one is basically done and will be coming out in a few days (after I listen to the new album), not a week from now, and I won’t be doing supplementals. Apologies to the five people who actually read those, lol. So, I’ll see you next time for Part Two. Tschüss!

#k-pop #review #k-pop deep dive #k pop girl groups #dreamcatcher #gahyeon #siyeon #SuA #JiU #handong #yoohyeon #Dami #maison #scream #OOTD #boca #you and i #chase me #piri #versus villain #Spotify

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italiansteebie · 10 months

Text

Love on Screen

Episode Six: The Finale, Episode Five, Four, Three, Two, One

Dustin couldn’t help but smile as he watched the couple’s official announcement video. It was sweet, and chaotic, and full of sarcasm, just like he thought it’d be. It was probably his fifth time watching it, but the way they interacted was so endearing it was almost addictive to watch.

—

“Hey guys! So, you’ve probably seen the clip of me and this weirdo by now, kissing at Robin’s party, and. We’re here to dispel any rumors, okay. Eddie, do you want to take this next part?”

“Sure, so guys. I know this might be hard to believe but… Me and Steve we… Are actually a couple.”

“Yeah! A couple of besties! Ha, you thought.”

“Stephano! I thought I was the chaotic one in this relationship,”

“Nope, I’m taking it over,” and he punctuated it with a sharp cackle.

“No but seriously, yes. We are dating, almost a year now. We never really hid it, like on purpose? I think we just decided to never really make any type of announcement ‘til now, and to be completely honest… We probably wouldn’t have said anything if that clip hadn’t been spread around.”

Eddie swung an arm around Steve, “Not that we weren’t ever gonna say anything, it just didn’t seem all that important to us to have a real… announcement about it, y’know?”

They both finished their statements, sharing a sweet kiss, before turning off the camera. “I think that went well,” Steve said, smiling at Eddie. “Yeah, it did, Stevie.” Eddie responded, smacking a wet kiss against his cheek. Steve laughed, wiping away the spit that Eddie left on his cheek. “I love you so much.”

“Yeah. I love you, too.”

—

Long story short, their coming out was taken well.

In fact, most people were calling them the ‘best internet couple,’ which. Nancy and Robin were right there but… Hey. If that’s what the internet wants, then well, who’s to change it. (Nancy and Robin were pretty salty, but they do have to admit that their friends were pretty cute, although Steddie wasn’t as good of a ship name as Ronance, I mean come on. It’s one letter off Romance).

They still played into the whole ‘best friends’ thing, because hey. It was pretty fuckin funny, at least in their opinion. The couples content didn’t really change, besides the fact that they sometimes kissed in front of the camera, or while Eddie was streaming, chat always responding with some variation of “the fuck dawg?” Because apparently Steve was not only Eddie’s boyfriend, but the whole internet's boyfriend, which did not make Eddie jealous. Not at all. (Well, maybe a little bit, but he didn’t really have to worry about that).

—

Three years had passed, and Eddie and Steve had only grown in popularity. They made videos about DIY seats made of jeans, and how it looked to rescue elderly street cats, and they had a podcast called “Eddie and Steve, not Adam and Eve,” on which they usually shared really weird tiktoks on. Either way, Dustin absolutely loved it.

‘Corrodededdie is going live.’ Dustin looked at the notification in slight confusion. Eddie usually doesn’t go live on Saturdays, let alone this late at night. Oh well, he guesses he shouldn’t complain. He taps on the notification, confused once more once he opens the app to a blank screen. “What?” He tapped the screen a few times, staring at his phone. He sighed, maybe it was just a fluke, so he moved to put his phone down when he heard Eddie’s voice finally float through the speakers. “Hey shitheads.” His tone was somber, and that was highly unusual for Eddie. He felt a pit in his stomach, something was wrong, what if he and Steve broke up? Oh god no.

Dustin looked at the screen, seeing the sad expression on Eddie’s face, shit, was he right? Did they actually break up?

“I have some bad news,” Dustin felt his breath hitch. “Me and Steve… Are no longer boyfriends.” Eddie finished sadly, letting his head hang low. It was silent for a few seconds, and Dustin felt absolutely destroyed. He couldn’t begin to imagine how they felt. “Oh god,” He whispered, looking down at the screen.

“That’s because we’re husbands!” Dustin’s head snapped up at the sound of Steve’s voice cheering the good news, and what was a low energy stream turned into something no less than chaos. “Oh thank god,” he said out loud, furiously typing in the chat ‘u scared the shit out of me!’ He watched with a smile as Steve and Eddie shared a kiss and showed off their matching rings.

Eddie laughed at the chat, “Sorry guys. It was Steve’s idea to prank y’all.” Stve smacked him on the shoulder, “it was not Edward! That is slander,” he said, tone exasperated. “Okay, okay. So it was my idea.” Eddie finally relented. Dustin was positively giddy, the two really were perfect for each other.

“We did vlog the proposal and the reception for you guys, it’ll be up right after the stream.” Steve said, grinning. He and Eddie answered a few questions from the chat before eventually ending the stream, Dustin waiting with baited breath for the vlogs to be released. As soon as they were, Dustin launched the video. It opened with Eddie pacing nervously and Robin, who was presumably behind the camera, was trying to calm him down. “Is it too soon?” “It’s been three years, Ed. It’s perfect, he’s gonna love it.” Robin reassured. The video cuts to Eddie and Steve on a beach, they were a bit far away, Dustin guesses Robin was trying to record the moment inconspicuously. He watched as Eddie led Steve to a quiet area, shells and rose petals arranged ever so. He could quietly hear Steve comment “This is so beautiful,” and watched as he spun, facing the beach. Eddie took this moment to get down on one knee, “Steve,” He began, Dustin spotted Nancy on the other side of Eddie, taking pictures, he guesses. Steve turned around, putting a hand over his mouth in shock. “I have loved you ever since I did that 12 hour stream and Dustybun04 recommended your channel, and I am so glad I listened to him.” Dustin paused the video briefly, giving himself time for a minor freak out at the fact that Eddie mentioned his name. “Steve,” Eddie grabbed his hand, “Will you marry me?” Dustin watched as Steve nodded, laughing slightly, tears streaming down his face. Eddie stood, pressing a kiss to his lips, both of them wearing matching smiles.

It was only a moment before the video continued. He watched with great amazement as Steve too, got down on one knee, still holding Eddie’s hand. Eddie was already saying yes, and laughing before Steve could even pull the ring box from his pocket. “Well. It’s obvious we both have amazing timing,” Steve said, giggling, tears still streaming down his face. “Eddie,” He began, sniffling, “You know I love you, I don’t want to live a life without you in it. Will you marry me?” Eddie laughed, “Uhh. Let me think about it,” He joked, before nodding enthusiastically, “Yes, of course. Please.” Steve slid the ring onto Eddie’s finger, before standing, pressing another kiss to Eddie’s lips. At this point, Dustin was also crying, and he only cried harder when Robin and Nancy popped out from their hiding places to congratulate the two. Dustin wiped his eyes, sighing fondly.

After a few seconds of Robin and Nancy hugging Steve and Eddie, the video cut to what looked like an absolute rager which Dustin could only guess was their reception. The camera panned to Steve and Eddie both dressed to the nines in their suits, “We’re married now bitches!” Steve shouted, the crowd of people cheering in response. The rest of the video was comprised of Eddie and Steve having a blast at their wedding, Dustin watched, smile growing painful for how long he’s held it, they danced, they partied, and Steve even threw the bouquet.

The video faded before Steve and Eddie popped up on the screen. “We’re so happy we can share this moment with you guys, and in fact.” Steve grabbed Eddie’s hand, “It was all because of you guys that we met really, so. Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts.” Steve said, looking at Eddie like he hung the stars. “I’m usually not this sappy but we really do owe it to you guys that we even met. I don’t want to know a life without Steve, and y’all made it happen. I can only hope each and everyone of you meet your Steve.”

The video ended with the two saying bye, and promises of regularly scheduled content as soon as they got back from their honeymoon. Dustin sat back in his desk chair. He couldn’t believe it had been three years since they started dating, Dustin had still been in high school. He felt like he grew up with them, and in a way, he kind of did. It was a wonderful moment to see the two have a happy ending, and it gave him hope for his own current relationship (of whom he met at Vidcon, in line for the corrodededdie merch line), he really thinks he found his Steve. And he couldn't be happier.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #robin buckley #best friend robin #steddie fic #stranger things #best friend robin buckley #steddie streamers #steddie streamer au #streamer eddie munson #streamer steve harrington #streamer au

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drfoxweyman · 8 months

Text

State of personal affairs (IMPORTANT)

(TL;DR will be towards the bottom for those who don’t wanna read my ramblings, but I’d prefer you did since this is important.) Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing well, I’ll cut to the point by saying that I am not. For the past… We’ll say couple of months I’ve been on something of a mental health spiral, and it hasn’t really gotten any better save for my time at the Con. Which was a nice, but very brief reprieve. The whys of this dip in my well being are pretty varied, and some of it I’m not really able to talk about, whether for personal reasons or respect for others. But to put it broadly, work has been stressful, home has been stressful, my health has been stressful, everything has been stressful, and as it stands I don’t think I can keep up with things right now. So I’m taking a small break from working on commissions, and allowing myself a bit more breathing room when it comes to my streams (which is to say the next few streams may be much smaller scale, more chill chatting streams.)

Now before any of you who commissioned me recently panic: With my current comms I will still be updating you guys, just at a slower rate than normal, I don’t intend to leave you guys in the lurch. But if by the time I’m done with them I still feel this bad, I probably won’t reopen my queue like I’ve been doing nonstop for the past while now. At least if I can financially help it… Streams like I said are gonna be a bit more lax. I’ll probably finish Pinkie Tower, but after that? I dunno, chatting and maybe some light doodling. Dunno how this will affect Sinner’s Saturday since some kind of income would be nice, but this week we’re definitely doing something different, just have to figure out what. And yes, I still owe you guys that Discord movie night, we’ll be doing that soon. As for how long this time off is gonna be? No clue, it might only be a few days honestly, but the longest I’m giving myself is two weeks cause I just can’t afford any longer than that. And speaking of “affording”, it’s time for literally my least favourite part of the job. The shilling™️. I probably won’t really be making much if any money during this period, so if you ever wanted to support my work with a nice tip. Now would be the time. You have no idea how much even a small tip of a few dollars can help.https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman I’m not gonna sugar coat this folks. I make peanuts on my work. That’s no one’s fault, it's just the nature of being both a small artist and streamer, it’s something I’ve come to peace with as a fact of my career choices. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stress me out. Part of why I can never usually take breaks at all is because I literally can’t afford to.

I have rent to pay, phone bills, internet, electricity bills, hormone pills, pet expenses including; food, potential vet visits, toys, poo bags, cat litter, etc. I have to have money saved up incase of an emergency whether personal or work related (computer parts need replacing, tablet needs replacing etc), then there's house expenses; food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies; replacing anything we need etc. It’s a lot, even with our packed house.

The only reason I'm able to go to Furnal Equinox or Canfurence is because I start saving up money month after month after month as a treat to myself, and even when there I tend to bring my work so I can get my commission queue done faster and reopen them again as soon as the con is done.

I’ve been told to raise my prices but let’s be honest, I’m not at the level where I can charge hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for pieces, and while this may be a pessimistic view of my work, I probably won’t be able to any time soon. Same with stream goals, I don’t feel like there’s much I can offer right now that would be worth $500 goals or something.

I’d open a merch shop or something but that would be even more stressful upkeep, and again let’s be real. My reach isn’t big enough for that and you can only sell the same merch to the same customer base for so long.

I apologize if it seems like I’m ragging on about the money, but of all the things I’m dealing with it’s the easiest to talk about because it’s something I think at least a few of you can relate to. That and the more personal troubles cut a bit deeper and I’m not sure I even really wanna talk about them because I don’t like dragging you guys down with me. We’ve made an awesome little community and I don’t need to be hurting you with my problems. Is that the healthiest way of looking at it? No probably not but there it is.

Above all that though I just want some more time to myself and the people I care about, not fretting every second that “I could be working” or “I could be monetizing this”, instead of focusing on improving my mental health so I can be a better creator for you guys, and a better person for me. I wanna draw for myself again,even if it’s just low stakes doodles or barely cohesive comic pages, or hell even just to work on my poor draftwomanship .I wanna let myself play some games and not think “Oh I have to stream this”, every time I do. I wanna be able to go out with my loved ones and not constantly be thinking “WHY AM I NOT WORKING ON COMMISSIONS???”

So TL;DR taking a light break, not sure how long exactly, will keep current customers in the loop, streams aren’t going anywhere but may be a bit different, please tip to the ko-fi so I can stay afloat during this time https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman

For those that read through, thank you so much, it means the world that you care enough about my mental health to drudge through my ravings. You’re truly the best part of this job. A wonderful community that I can just chat and be honest with, I can laugh and joke with you all without fear or anxiety. That’s exceedingly rare these days and I couldn’t be more appreciative of you lot.

That in mind, this took awhile to write, my hands are hurting, and I wanna go lie down, maybe allow myself a good cry. Thanks everyone. <3

- Blaire,“Drfoxweyman”

#real life #irl #important #text psot #long #rambling #art #artist #streamer #support #kofi #ko fi support #mental health

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nativeofsumeru · 2 years

Text

More Genshin Impact Fanfiction Ideas(Part 2)

link to my previous list here:

A/N: I really like doing these and will definitely make more alongside my blurbs!

4nemo (Kazuha x reader) OR (Xiao x reader

this I guess could really go for either Xiao or Kazuha

4nemo boyband AU Reader meets Kazuha/Xiao by either be friends with Aether or Lumine, that’s their introduction to the group

After following the group on your for a little bit and getting closely acquainted with the member, reader realizes they don’t have much time left

At a bar(there doesn’t have to be reader having alcohol if reader doesn’t prefer it), reader finally has enough courage to ask Kazuha/Xiao for his number

Kazuha/Xiao obliges and they start a fluffy internet romance as reader had to return home and the band is still traveling

Venti sticks his nose into Kazuha’s/Xiao’s business and finds out about the romance (can’t stop teasing him about it)

Aether/Lumine(whichever twin was the close friend) pushes either reader or Kazuha/Xiao to finally make the romance official

reader and Kazuha/Xiao start dating in private as to not bring media attention yet

eventually tho the media somehow finds out

reader one day is casually going about their business alone and gets harassed by a crazy fan

idk to what extent the harassment would go

reader is scared for their life

Kazuha/Xiao on a phone call reassure reader it will all be ok

if you want a juicy plot to continue:

-Xiao:

reader has joined 4nemo for another concert that was within a reasonable travel distance

reader and Xiao are backstage chatting when crazy fan(doesn’t have to be the same one) has somehow snuck their way backstage and into Xiao’s room

Xiao throws hands to try and protect reader while reader goes to get help

crazy fan is arrested

for a fluff ending: Xiao worries about reader’s safety/well-being since being tied up with fame has its downsides, reader assured him it’s ok and they carry on, although he is very careful

for an angst ending: after the incident and reader finally telling Xiao what they’ve been dealing with, he ends the relationship and blocks reader’s number, “I can’t stand watching you have to live like this.” “Like what?” “In fear. You May not have said it to me aloud, but I know this kinda of thing scared you. It’s all because you’re wrapped up with me.” “But we can make it work-“ “End of discussion. I should’ve known this kind of thing was gonna happened.”

-Kazuha:

reader joins 4nemo for a portion of another tour

after a performance, Kazuha tells the boys he’s going to be late tonight as he’s going to get dinner with reader

venti teases him and tells him not to be back to late cause manager wants to talk to them about stuff

reader and Kazuha go to a small cafe and have a small dinner together, he tell them about new songs he’s written for the group partially inspired by reader being in his life

after the dinner, the pair are walking back to the hotel and get ambushed by a crazy fan(doesn’t have to be the same one)

Kazuha is very protective

Passerby see what’s going on and crazy fan gets arrested

reader is frazzled and Kazuha tries his best to calm them down although he’s frazzled too

for a fluff ending: Kazuha discusses with reader whether a relationship with him came and all is something they are really ready for and that there is no going back, reader assures him they are 1000% sure, “I just don’t want anything to happen to you as a result of my reputation.”

for an angst ending: Kazuha discusses whether reader is ready for a relationship with him fame and all, reader says they just can’t take it anymore and his heart breaks but he understands, “I just can’t live like this.” “But we can make it work-“ “No. I’m sorry Kazuha. I-I can’t.”

Heizou:

I know this is bad but a story where reader is with Kazuha but after drinking themselves into a stupor, Heizou walks reader home and they share a night of intimacy

they wake up the next morning panicked out of their minds as Kazuha is at reader’s door asking if they are ok

its Heizou and reader’s dirty little secret

whether they continue their physical affair or not is up to reader/writer

end of the day reader and Heizou end up getting feelings for eachother

-could be 4nemo/5wirl AU

-in this case the other band member kind of catch on that something isn’t right

#4nemo x reader #4nemo au #4nemo #kaedehara kazuha x you #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kaedehara kazuha x reader #xiao x you #xiao x reader #kazuha angst #xiao angst #kazuha fluff #xiao fluff #shikanoin heizou #heizou x reader #heizou x y/n #heizou x gender neutral reader

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sarah-crewe · 11 months

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tagged by my pal @thecrackshiplollipop

1. are you named after anyone? yes, sort of. some of my great-something grandmothers had my names, but it was more that my mom liked them a lot and wanted to name me my name since she was a teenager. we later found out that one of my great-something grandmothers was named sarah mariah (which is my name and my sister’s name).

2. when was the last time you cried? i teared up earlier today when i was reading a post about dads being great and loving their kids.

3. do you have kids? no. i’ve had a lot of childcare jobs, including being a nanny for four years, and i’m still super close to those kids and see them all the time. sometimes their mom wishes me a happy mother’s day, so...

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? never. you think someone would really do that? go on the internet and be sarcastic?

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people? i straight up do not know... i feel like i’m taking in a lot of info when i meet someone new, so maybe it’s just whatever stands out the most about them?

6. what’s your eye color? brown

7. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings. i’m a little bitch and i don’t watch scary movies.

8. any special talents? running into large, solid objects that have been consistently been in the same place for months, years, or even decades of my life.

9. where were you born? maine, born and raised bb

10. what are your hobbies? i like to read a lot, dabble in 45 different crafts/arts, watch educational videos on youtube, partake in semi-dangerous sports, and play pretend with my friends

11. have you any pets? no. i live in a real small apartment that is uncomfortably messy and i would feel too guilty to bring an animal into that. i really love cats though, and want a cat that is legitimately bonded to me, which i’ve never really had. we weren’t at my dad’s house enough for his cats to really get comfy with us, and my mom has always been hella allergic.

12. what sport do you play/have played? i played soccer and basketball as a kid. my dad said i was actually good at soccer when i was little, which i always thought was not true (not afraid of the ball, good coordination, good soccer vision, his words) but i quit both of those when i was in upper elementary because i was focused on gymnastics. i started gymnastics when i was five and did it regularly, up to 5 nights a week, until i was 14. i took up figure skating about a decade ago, but i’ve been on an extended break because of pandemic anxiety. i skateboard occasionally, but i am not good at it.

13. how tall are you? 5'3″ on a good day, lol. can’t believe the doctor told me i was gonna be 6′2″.

14. favorite subject in school? english or art/theatre (in high school). i liked school in general, but i struggled a little bit with science and math in high school: science because i had never learned how to study and was finally being challenged for the first time in my life and math because i accidentally pattern reconditioned myself into a higher placement test score than i ought to have had, putting me in a class where i didn’t have the foundational knowledge needed to succeed. both problems were fixed by the time i was a junior, but the damage had been done to my psyche and i thought i was bad at those topics for a while. english though, loml.

15. dream job? lol my current job (children’s librarian) if it was just the actual job and not the societal bandaid that it’s become... though i would love a four day work week. that would make it perfect.

tagging @jennamacaroni @tarynlatx @knockfivetimes @stellesappho @roarsaidthedinosaur @also-angels @littleoases @seemssostrange

#about me tho

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aajjks · 5 months

Note

TPOL!JK

"you can mention your mom, jungkook. it's okay. i'm happy for both you" you sniffle while cracking a small smile. the ice may be thin but you're comfortable talking about jungkook's mom. you're happy that she's in a better place mentally from when the two of you first met. "i got a promotion at the healthcare place i work aaaaaand that's pretty much it. work can be tedious but i love it" you say when he asks you what you've been up to. although jungkook says his work/life has been "the usual" you know that he is a global ambassador for calvin klein thanks to your dear friend, the internet.

it's safe to say the two of you have been doing a lot better without each other and though you feel a bit bitter towards jungkook for the things he's said to you, you don't hold them against him because it's normal for him to spew nonsense he doesn't mean, or maybe he means it yet he's always regretful when you come in contact with again.

you then get up to head to your mother's room leaving jungkook to stay in the guest room, which you don't mind. through the hours of the night, you drift in and out of sleep. you wake up with teary eyes and your mother's sleeping figure still haunts your mind. she's all you think about to the point where you can't even get a wink of sleep. you sit up in your bed with your hands covering your face and cry to yourself. you get up to head to the bathroom, wipe your face, and head downstairs for a cold glass of water.

you look in the cabinets for a snack to eat and since you can't hear your surroundings clearly, in comes a tired jungkook who accidentally scares you.

your shoulders jump and you even let out a small squeal when he asks if you're okay.

"ah! j-jungkook you scared me!" you whisper and he's confused as to how you didn't hear his bedroom door crack and his footsteps until he notices your missing hearing aid in your left ear.

"i...i couldn't sleep so i was gonna watch a movie and eat some cookies. sorry for waking you"

He’s startled as well as you flinch.

“Y-Yn I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” He whispers. He notices the way you’ve got some tear stains on your face, and it breaks his heart to see you clearly struggling.

“You can’t sleep?” He asks you once again, you nod and he takes your hand in his and guides you to the tv lounge. “Hmm yn you sit here and I’ll make hot fresh delicious ramen for you.” He says, scratching his neck.

“Because it’s very cold and cookies won’t really do it… I’m just craving ramen haha..”

“You should select a movie!!! Or is it going to be tangled?” He still remembers your favorite movie, “I’m just saying because I can’t sleep either… so why not just stay awake??” He giggles.

Jungkook just wants to make sure that you are okay, you have to heal. And he’s going to make sure that he’s with you in every step of the way.

You are everything to him and after all these years, he is still so in love with you.

#ask: tpol!jungkook

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sunburnacoustic · 1 year

Text

Found the archives of some old sites, and I don't know about other people but I'm feeling slight old/lost fansites nostalgia, so I might post some clippings from fansites here. What is this blog if not a tribute to everything in the Muse universe anyway?

But so that it's not an awful scroll on your dashboards, I will break it up into posts. Find the full thing on the Internet Archive, linked (thank goodness for the internet archive!)

The Muse biography from the now-defunct microcuts.net, one of the biggest Muse fansites before MuseWiki ended up being the only one left (social media doesn't count).

Archived here.

Biography Pt. 7 [Pt. 6]

The Future

Matthew explains how Muse will go about recording their forth album. “We want to have a new approach and a new atmosphere. We will maybe find a house and take our own material to record it. I’d like to spend some time in New-York too! It seems to be a “magical” city to record an album. We really dunno now. I think that we all wanna have a normal life. Chris is gonna spend some time with his children and I’m gonna find a job in a bar! I think the combination of guitar rock and full-on 70’s disco is ready to be exploited properly. Like Night Fever, but heavy. Or Billy Jean. A little bit rock guitar, a little bit disco."

"For me", Matt says, "Muse is about getting the hopes, dreams, desires, frustrations out of your system that you wouldn't normally be able to do. It's about showing people that there are things inside buried that should be exposed, and having no shame about them. We can communicate no matter the environment." Dom also explains what the band has learnt from their time as a band. “I think we've just grown up over the years and learnt loads about who are as people and how we played our instruments and it's definitely kind of a growing up process, but it's all about commitment. You know, believing in something you do a lot and kind of fulfilling that and fulfilling the things you really want to do!”

----------------

That's the end of the biography, that's the last time it was updated. Written by Max Raymond.

#Muse band #Matt Bellamy #microcuts.net #muse fansites #old website nostalgia is kicking in; I am not old enough to have old website nostalgia and yet technology moves so quickly that here we are #muse biography #muse #matt bellamy #chris wolstenholme #dom howard

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the1975attheirverybest · 7 months

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Okay so i have a few thoughts sorry obviously you don't have to answer i just want to write them down and you seem like a really sweet person so i thought i'll send it and maybe you or someone can add something to it🤗

Firstly we know that the band didnt expect atvb to go viral on tiktok and the really big popularity on the internet and i think matty once said that the play doesnt work well like that bc you cant film a play and im sure they're gonna count on satvb going viral and im really interested what kind of changes that would mean (maybe know phones but i dont think they would do that especially since the team75live's thing is to go live every concert and we know matty talked to them personally). But on the other hand after this year it seems like they only go viral if matty does something particularly stupid and/or offensive (i really hope not) so idk if it could influence the show in any way or exactly how but obviously the goal is to entertain the audience there not the internet.

Secondly atvb was 26 songs plus 10 minutes consumption and satvb is 22 songs then that would leave like what 25-30 minutes and im really really curious what they will do but i know we wont know it until the 26th but thats interesting i think bc it seems like too much time for me.

Okay lastly it seems like after the vegas show that atpoaim isnt over and thats really great but then it wasn't just something in between atvb and satvb and it'll continue and i had a thought bc tobias ryder said that satvb will continue what atvb started which was the on and off stage playing a character and atpoaim could be like a fourth wall break but after the north american tour announcement it didnt seem like it will be that but i hope at least

Im sorry its a bit long and i know we dont have the answers to any one of these so thx if you read it and have a nice day❤️

Of course, babe 🥰 you can always send stuff in I LOVEEE reading what other people think and the predictions and everything.

So, in terms of Atpoaim, here’s what I think about it’s relationship to the shows and it’s span.

As for the show itself, I do think that it’s going to evolve the ideas that began with ATVB, but I’m not entirely sure what direction it’s going to take. I think you are right. One of the first and earliest signs of Matty’s desire for change was when he would say stuff like “this show wasn’t meant to go viral” and stuff like that. And, in a sense, I get that. He’s never had to think about this additional layer of engagement. Usually, his work is within the context of the fandom. I think maybe this time around he’ll have the scenes be related to as specific theme or idea, but not entirely identical every night. Like he might still have a message behind what he wants to do/say, but he might try to approach it from different angles.

Also, yesterday, he used the words “introspective,” “Kafka” “joy division,” “Freud.” So I’m trying to think about what each of these concepts might have in common with his project and make a few guesses.

I would say, I can kinda see the hot division element. They’re very punk inspired but rather dark. Their lyrics were inspired by a lot of dystopian commentary. Taking the personal and connecting with the social. In exactly the ways that Matty’s show started out being about himself and turned into a show about being a man and the state of masculinity. And Kafka? Well, he’s the king of irony and absurdity. So, my guess is, matty is going to stretch that persona to new heights. The Freud reference and the “introspection,” make me think he’s going to draw on his ugliest and most personal feelings / thoughts and try to dramatize them. But of course inferiority is impossible to share publicly, which I’m guessing is where the irony comes in. That paradox of like how do you make the personal public without losing the authenticity. Usually, his answer to that is to lean into how ridiculous the whole rockstar persona is, but the question is, what makes this time different? What’s the point? Is it gonna be like super dystopian and depressing? Is he going to gesture towards a better future? Are we just fucked? Where does he stand right now? How does he feel about it all and how is it influencing his work?

I feel like this is where it’s all headed but idkkkk. Haha I’m super pumped to find out.

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aliceindaisychains999 · 1 year

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Here’s an ask for iron petals💖

I wonder if Dempsey would like to go skiing? it sounds really fun I got the chance to go once it’s extremely fun, also i wondering if he would enjoy exploring abandoning buildings or taking pictures or nature like be a photographer.

This sounds awesome! I love action-packed stuff and I’m sure he would too! He’d definitely give skiing it a shot! But I hope they allow snowboards for me. It’s no surprise that Dempsey would love to stay active because it’s great for his mind and also keeps his killer strength and endurance in great shape. I’d try to follow him as best I can down the hill. I know I’d be the one who’s just cruising down the snowy hills while he’s doing 360° turns and flips. He loves to show off what he’s made of, oorah! For some reason this came to mind when I started brainstorming bc I feel like he’d pull this stunt

I love making scrapbooks to each represent a chapter of my life. And because Tank and I are sharing our lives together, I wanted him to help me with my 3rd book. He usually suggests design ideas or points out great shots. Camping trips happen a lot so that’s always a great start! I think one of my favorite shots is where he was posing dramatically at a cliff spot where you could see the whole town from below. Tank said one of his favorite pictures besides the night sky (because it’s so much prettier without light pollution in the way) was one of me of a blue butterfly on my nose. Tank also hijacked a few of the google drive album of him making angry faces and goofing of. So now our scrapbook has a page of us with funny faces complimented with whatever memes we printed off the internet (half of his choices were freedom memes and edgy skeleton memes)

I always was fascinated with urban exploring, especially abandoned malls and any fun indoor entertainment places like Showbiz Pizza. Considering doing that was what lead me to be meet Dempsey, I asked him about it. He raised his eyebrow at me.

🧨Really? You didn’t learn your lesson the first time, huh?

🌻It’s not going to be government owned property this time! And we’ll be fine if we’re quiet enough

🧨Technically everything’s government owned. But I’m not gonna let you get hurt. I’d never forgive myself if I lost you or something.

🌻Honey, please? It’s only once

🧨Alright, I guess you’ll be fine with a big strong man protecting you.

And then he’s wrapping me in a hug bc he knows I melt easily. 💕💕💕

Aside from the mushy stuff, now comes our adventure: the mall! An old abandoned mall that went bankrupt around 2007. We slip in quietly through the back that apparently lead us straight into the food court. There were lights on the neon signs but we relied on flashlights for the most part.

🌻It’s pretty scary with the lights off.

🧨The scariest thing about this food court is that it’s got an Arby’s.

We took photos around as best we could with our phones and figured to use Lightroom on my computer at home to brighten it up. The best part was breaking into an FYE and finding out that not all the stuff was boxed up! Dempsey was thrilled. “Hell yeah! Free shit!” He told me to open my backpack up to store his looting of cds and whatever movies we could find for a blind movie night. “Hey, finder’s keepers. It’s not stealing if we can’t pay anyone, right?”

It was tons of fun overall! The only part that freaked him out was a bit of the graffiti because what I’d hope were teenagers sprayed some devil talk in the lowest level. He didn’t make it obvious but I could see in his eyes that the emptiness of the mall with that was making him uneasy. Oh! And we got a sunset shot on the roof of the mall but we had to make it quick before anyone could flag us. I’d never be able to do it again because of safety reasons according to Dempsey but it was still great we got to go.

🌻This was so much fun! Thank you, Tank *Hugs him and leaves a kiss on his cheek*

🧨Aww, quit butterin’ me up! You know I’d do anything for you, Maddie!

#thank you anon!#this was fun to brainstorm #IronPetals

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kendrixtermina · 2 years

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Bringing the Passions into Consciousness

Now it is often said about the passions that the terms for them are not meant in the modern english sense, and often unconscious enough to seem counterintuitive to the uninitiated. I’ve been into this topic for years & looking to catch corresponding patterns in myself, but though I understood it abstractly & intellectually of course, I feel like it was only this december that I really „spotted“ it.

Perhaps the process can be hastened for others if ppl of different types relate their experience with this.

Though mostly I’ve seen some very concrete ‚its that specific feeling or sensation‘ type descriptions for some & not for others and I want to complete the set in my understanding.

I’ll go first aboard the humiliation train because it is only fair. I want your answers pretty bad.

It was really 2 separate events that led me to put together, with the first sort of cracking my illusions and the other shattering them.

Event 1:

I had hooked up with this dude. It was fun. I listened to his life story, gave some advice, (effectively diagnosing him with Nine), told him some funfacts about the nerve endings of the nether regions and then making a demonstration, it was all rather fun.

Eventually that was done & we sat there together.

He suggested we might go again. But idk how long it was gonna take till that was possible. I perceived that he probably wanted to talk with me some more, or that’s how it seemed. But I didn’t want to commit at this point to spending the whole evening with him.

So I steered the conversation towards a conclusion, thanked him for the experience and politely excused myself, saying that I’d prefer to go back to the bar for now.

So then I was sitting there, on my own, having walked back to the bar, sipping my drink.

And I think to myself:

„Ah, I feel so relaxed right now. Delighted, even. It had been a while since I’d gotten such thorough release.“

I remembered & pondered upon something from a book I’d been reading earlier about the role of sex in physiological self-regulation.

I thought that I’m really glad that this thing happened today.

„Why didn’t I stay longer, anyway?“ I wondeed. „It might have been nice. „

Perhaps the fact that I was thinking all this after leaving might be accounted as an example of a delayed reaction.

And that’s when it occurred to me to ask myself why the hell I was in such a hurry to leave then.

Like – why? Why had I done that? I didn’t come here so I could sit on my own, but rather precisely because I’d felt like doing something else for once. Why didn’t I talk to him more? There was no clear reason not to. He wasn’t pushy; It wasn’t late yet. I got the sense that he liked me, so, why?

Why did I put my clothes on right away? I’d just… reacted, I suppose, to a perceived request.

Event 2:

I was visiting my relatives over the winter break.

I’d set up my laptop in what was normally my mom’s study to have somewhere to dissapear to if needed. So that one evening, I was typing away at something or another, some fanfiction or some internet discussion, and once in a while I’d come out to go to the bathroom, get snacks, drink some water, stretch my legs a bit etc.

It just so happened that the youngest of my sisters (one more victim of the very strong night owl genes in our family) happened to be chilling in the living room. She was presumably a bit bored, so, when she spotted me, she’d come and talk to me, and invariably, my reply would be something like this:

„That’s really great, but now I’d like to get my water.“

„Eh, maybe not now, I’m thinking.“

„This sounds interesting but maybe we could do this some other time?“

I realized that I was just, immediately resisting being talked to, or trying at once to limit the time frame like „ok ill ask one more follow up question to show interest but then i go back“...why?

I could sit at my laptop at home to my heart’s content, after all. I had sat through an annoying, uncomfortable 6 hour train ride across the republic explicitly to spend time with my family – particularly the youngest sister whom I didn’t get that much time with since I moved out when she was pretty young. I had come here explicitly to spend time with her, so why wasn’t I doing it?

It’d be one thing if I’s been super busy or really tired, but I wasn’t doing anything that important and generally feeling alright. There was just no real reason why I couldn’t spare the 20 minutes that it would have taken to sit down and have a proper chat with her.

This event, I think, proved crucial because it was so obvious, so ridiculous – there was no rationalizing it away. There was no logical justification, no reason at all other than – well.

There it was. That ‚eugh, go away!‘ kind of feeling. That kneejerk urge to say no or do some bare minimum and then shut down the situation.

The Avarice(TM).

It must have been there all along of course. I can’t expect that no one ever noticed just cause I lowkey like to pretend I’m not actually in the room.

I recalled this anecdote where this guy on youtube related how his type 5 father would just conort his face like he’s being tortured if the grandkids overstayed his patience.

No wonder my ex reported feeling „unwelcome“ when he came to talk to me at my desk.

At least he didn’t know how often I was tempted to yell into a pillow when he phoned unexpectedly.

And then I’d put that away into a box, opened up another one, and picked up like „Hi babe!~ Nice to hear from you <3“

Neither Cordon nor Palmer were exaggerating that much with these descriptions contrary to what I’d first thought.

"God, that’s so fucked up!" I thought. "I’m terrible! I’m revolting." What a sad, absurd, hapless creature*.*

That’s so terrible I can almost only laugh about it. Who wants a shitty selfish sister who never plays with you? Who wants some creepy girlfriend who is always at her laptop and seems to resent your very presence? I’m all talk. I have no capacity to lift a finger for anyone. I should just do everybody a favor and crawl away into some cave and never come back out...

That’s when the voice of reason kicked in: ‚oh look, an association spiral. How very w4. Is that helpful right now? Save it for the poems.‘

I’ve never believed in sins, deadly or otherwise. It’s pointless to assign overmuch meaning, value judgement or secret intent to an automatic kneejerk reaction.

What I have to do is be mindful of going on autopilot. Make a habit of checking if I really want to say no – same way some 9 would have to ask themselves ‚do I really want to say yes?‘

Maybe I do want to talk to that person. Maybe I do want to stay a while.

Pushing past resistance to do tasks is much harder, there’s no guarantee that I can really do it.

I’ve tried to sense it, locate it, physically, like they say in the books – that took several months more.

There’s a tense feeling in my stomach. A flinch of apprehension or resistance, when I want to start on a task – that’s the hardest to push against, where it starts concerning sp stuff. I know very much that for all that I may be overestimating them, my limits are not wholly imaginary.

I actually am sensitive, though I may be reflexively overcompensating for it.

I have at times backed half a step away if suddenly spoken to in the street.

Even when I’m writing some posts on here & thinking ‚Hm, is that still relevant to the topic? Does that not expose me to reactions‘ - „the words catch in the wiremesh of my heart“ (which is perhaps a more natural way for me to express/ say it than anything physical based.)

Well. I must not let it stop me or overmaster me.

(though, lest you worry, I did end up having some quality conversations with my sister eventually during that winter break & she really liked my gift, so there sort of was a happy ending.)

#enneagram #typology #enneagram 5 #5w4

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