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#i think its still just too personal of an interest for me? but it shouldnt be! asarrghhhh.
radioroxx · 24 days
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yargh. complicated characters save me complicated characters…
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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So. Sit with me everyone. We agree that we need to stop worshipping a person or media on the sole grounds of being gay right. Can we finally agree that it's not homophobic to criticize gay ppl with large platforms. Can we finally actually learn to think critically abt how these ppl talk abt ppl outside of their immediate identities and to recognize that just because they say they aren't bigoted doesn't mean they aren't. Please.
#rat rambles#like seeing ppl dunk on james is vibdicating and all but also. yall do realize that even without the plagerism hed still be a piece of shit#and that another white man shouldnt have to spell out to you what misogyny is#<- directed at ppl who watched mr misogyny before hand#Im not saying anyone is a bad person for not realizing. Im just saying to be more careful and attentive in the future#dont be scared to criticize the ppl you watch even if you dont think theyre a bad person#hell Ive been watching hbomberguy for years and he is certainly not perfect#like in a lot of his old videos you can rly see some unconcious ableism#and I could go on and on with nitpicks and gripes Ive had with him over the past several years but thats not the point of this post#the point is that you need to get yourself comfortable with digging deeper into the things you consume#a lot of ppl will say things like 'oh this person gave me a bad vibe but I didnt think it was this bad'#and I want to just say if you get that sort of bad vibe then fucking dig deeper!! interrogate that feeling and where its coming from!#this also applies to situations where you might dislike someone for bigoted reasons of your own#I think ppl try way too hard to train themselves to not interrogate their discomfort and it's so not good for your critical thinking skills#and in fact interrogate your comforts too#just in general thinking abt why certain things make you feel certain ways is good practice and will help you see red flags sooner#is this gay guy focusing more on gay men than gay women? why might this be? is it really the topic like he says it is?#if you think well Im also more interested in gay men that gay women in history so hes not doing anything bad#then question why you think that. idc how uncomfortable it makes you to question your views on minorities fucking do it#cause imagining you arent misogynist or racist or whatever the fuck doesnt make you less bigoted#if you want to be the ally you think you are you need to suck it up theres not rly a kinder way I can manage to put it
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kocch · 5 months
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ngl i'd be more excited about st if thinking about n**h wouldn't make me think of zionism and how uncomfortable it makes me feel
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safety-pin-punk · 11 months
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hey queer nd teen here i've been really interested in punk culture and the message drives me to tears but i'm scared of being called a poser because i feel like a coward
i hate cops and i think they should fucking die and the government is fucked and we have to look after each other. but i feel backed into a corner because i'm surrounded by family who would laugh at me and just wouldn't understand and i don't feel like i can Handle it but i Want to
as a shy and nonconfrontational teen with a shit ton of anxiety to boot i dunno. i admire brave hardcore punks who beat up cops and nazis but i Can't Be That
no need for a response but it would be nice
When I was a teen, I was told by my best friend that I could never be a punk. That I would never be a punk. But here I am. I was a shy quiet kid, and I’m still pretty quiet and prefer to avoid confrontations when I can. My point is, these things don’t prevent people from being a punk if its in their nature
Not all punks are the big tough punks who can physically fight those fights. Though they are a very important part of our community. But we also have plenty of disabled, neurodivergent, and chronically ill people who are just as punk, and even people who are just not into violence. They are advocates, they are researchers, they are community care takers. Being a punk isnt all about fighting evil. I actually think thats not the best way to look at it at all. Being punk is about caring for your community. And while ‘fighting evil’ is a part of it, there are a lot more things that entails.
If you truly want to be a punk, it seems like you are already going down the right path. You alluded to a not so great home life where it might not be the best idea to dress in alternative styles. You could always start with smaller, more subtle things. Or you can just wait until you can move out to start exploring that. Remember, being punk is more than just an aesthetic, and while the aesthetic may look cool, it is by no means a requirement to be a punk (honestly half the time I run around it cowboy boots and a flannel - in the winter I usually add the hat too)
You are a teen still. Growing and learning about yourself and the world around you. And so are your peers. Any teen who calls you a poser is being a jerk and doesn’t know all that much about the scene. Any grown adult that calls you a poser is probably a poser themselves who refuses to acknowledge that not every person comes from the same background. But I also feel like it’s important to tell you that what anyone else says shouldnt matter that much. Even if it feels like it does, if you let their words matter to you, you are giving them all the control.
Its okay to be young and not know a lot. Its okay to not dress alternative for any number of reasons. Its okay to not feel like you could go off and fight bad people. None of those things make you a poser.
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obscure-entity · 3 months
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ok so going back to this post from wayy back in august (rbing it again would be a mess)
i think it'd be important for me to give a reflection on what this was about. i was making a planning-presentation months ago, which i shouldnt be so afraid to show but rereading my writing produces the same guttural yuck and fear that looking at my old art used to. and it led to all of these pieces. click for full view bc some of them are cropped
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writing being the one thing im horrified of is ironic for me asking. but i have to ask if anyone's sincerely interested in my personal analysis of these ? i considered video format but if i wuss out of using my voice i might find some other way
and um. as for how i feel about them, i love these to death and can feel my hand aching thinking about every colored-pencil motion but i just dont feel like i attached myself to these in the way i wanted to. EXCEPT the second piece where a lamb is being snatched by the sky itself. although they do live up to their own messages to me
i discovered that, while i wanted to focus a lot on the aspects of feeling inhuman as a personal identity, in the second half it shifted more to perception. every individual is some sort of monster, creature, or animal because they are not "known" or acknowledged by hypothetical human-set standards, thus making them "unknown." this entire mini-portfolio is literally about the "unknown." the "unknown" is something i keep repeating a lot when im trying to grasp at this same concept. if a person cannot read your expression or wants to mischaracterize what you're thinking, you are "unknown." its really basic nature to be afraid of the unknown, but it's another step to invent new reasons to be afraid via an untrained disgust reaction for anything not reasonably comfortable, familiar, safe. and the attempt at creating "familiarity" is through assigning labels to things around you, simply put. which is just a bandaid shutting the teeth of some beast, to me
after all these months i still dont know what part of me this is about by the way. something behavioral. for example im pretty sure i weird people the FUCK out by staying silent or keeping to myself. and it took me years to realize that actually has a reason to scare people
what im saying is. dear marginalized ppl please keep depicting yourselves as weird monsters that scare people and bite. or some other strange thing that accomplishes the task of Just Sitting There.
im so happy this is essentially completed by the way ? i had another piece i never finished (im not sure i want to, colored pencils fucked me over hard) its just that i didnt think the months would pass that fast. writing about it was really nice when i was trying to kind of realize the mindset for my future personal art too. idk if anyone from the old post is still here but thanks again for the resources :)
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ganondoodle · 8 months
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i talked about why i find the argument people love to use as an excuse as to why shiekah tech is all gone in totk that "they destroyed it bc they were afraid of it" dumb before many times so i wont go over my past points in detail again
- i was just reminded of that and thought of new points to rant about going from that, no evil intentions in mind just when sth is mentioned again after some time i think about it again and can come up with more stuff-
(past points being- how?? shiekah tech seemed pretty indestructable, especialyl the big structures; it seemed like it was a literal holy thing for alot of people in the game; that it would be pretty damn stupid to spend so much energy and probably endanger people to dismanlte it since that time and energy would be better used rebuilding important infrastrucutre instead; if it stopped working why wouldnt you just kinda .. leave it there; why in hells name would you get rid of the shrine of life .. and i guess monk miz kyoshia with it???; shouldnt they be MORE afraid of sonau tech then??)
new thoughts
wouldnt it be logical to research and develope shiekah tech MORE so you can make sure it cant get corrupted again, like a security measure idk anti virus if you will lol
on the specific idea of zelda using it ... shouldnt she be the BEST person to use it bc she could, if it somehow got corrupted again, cleanse it/instantly deactivate it more easily than anyone else??
on the point of people not beign afraid of sonau tech ... that is still like the biggest problem for me with that argument bc .. i get beign afraid of shiekah stuff going haywire again, but then if suddendly alien tech from a literally fully unknown group of people started to appear out of nowhere at the sAME TIME AS MALICE COMES BACK BUT WORSE in the form of miasma shoudlnt that ring your alarm bells and make you flee for your life?? i wouldnt trust that shit after knowing what happened to the tech that we DID know shit about
i know theres like researchers for it but also they really all meddle and play with it immediately like its for them just as much a toy as it is for us the players (also a point that made me feel weird about it ngl), they build businesses around it, made minigames out of it with civilians, use it for transportation with no thought or concern about it, its really weird when this is supposedly takign palce after BOTW where FAMOUSLY ancient barely reasaearched tech got corrupted by evil goo and nearly destroyed the entire land of hyrule (man are they LUCKY gan suddendly has zero interest in ANY tech)
(and i know theres the possibilty that sonau tech is somehow not able to be corrupted but it just seems so dumb anyway bc the people cant KNOW that for sure right of the bat??? and it DOES get possessed with the broken construct too, like .. wouldnt the possibility alone .. esepcialyl with waht had happened in botw make you NOT want to use that alien tech like a toy?? especially with WORSE malice being around suddendly too?? that just smells like a recipy for disaster)
(... man totk realyl is just botw but worse ... the more i think about it the more it feels like that)
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xhanelia · 4 months
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Okay so this was the ask but when i deleted the post, it got deleted too. I tried to write the post again as much as i remember. All of my luck aside, i have my first official anon now i am so happy!! Thank you for the request, green anon! Hope you like it 💚
How would Sova react to a mute reader
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I think he would ask Sage or Brim about what kind of a person you are before trying to talk to you, but lets just think that you were introduced in the middle of a mission. (absolutely not to make the fic longer and maybe interesting)
In the missions, Brim always wants an "understood" after his commands on the field. To confirim that his voice went to the person and make sure they did not get hurt. When Brim gave you information about the building and told you what you should do, you did not reply. Sova got scared that the new agent might have got caught or hurt but seeing the steril face of Brim, like this is what was supposed to be, he got a bit confused and went to his part of the mission. Trying not to think about it.
Later on, when you return with the information you have on your hands (witch is nothing but a little flash drive) he sighed in relief that you didnt got hurt. With the smile on your face, covered mostly by the mask you wore, you handled the flash drive to Chyper. He thanked you in his own language to show intimacy to the new agent. Well, to you.
Also Cypher was never leaving your side after your first mission. Being a new agent means that he will follow you everywhere like a tail stuck to your back. (This is cannon btw.)
He glared you two a bit. One side hoping you wouldnt turn out to be his friend or such, the other wants to get to know you. Either way, it was the first time the moral of HQ, Sova, didnt talked to the new agent by his choice. He was intimidated by your similarities with Chyper.
At this point, Sage needed to ask Sova if he was okay. She understood that he did not liked secretive persons but you were far off from Chyper. She convinced him to at least say hello to you while passing by. But he would still avoid any conversations with you.
You nod everytime he greeted you. Sage told you that Sova (a tall blonde man that has a prostetic eye, she said. Pretty much noticable.) would cheer you up if you feel down or lonely. But it was like the other way around. At least near you. When you look at him with other agents, he was like how Sage described him but when he notices you, his smile drops down a bit.
At some point, you decided to ask him about why he was like this to you. Gathering your courage, getting yourself a pen and a little notebook, you began to search for him.
He was in the tech room. Making adjusments to his bow and arrows. He looked up to you from where he was sitting. You waved to him as a hello, he nodded to you back. Thinking maybe you dont want to talk to him at all.
You got out your pen and notebook, wrote something to it and slowly pushed it to him. He looked at the notebook and to you, then again to the notebook. Reading what was written on it.
"I am so sorry if i did something wrong to you."
He stood still after reading the paper for a good 10 seconds then looked up to you. Such simple words but it hit Sova so hard. Now getting that you cannot talk, it feels like the guilt was building up in his chest.
"You were mute?" It sound like he was scared to even ask this question. You slowly nod with a broke smile. It was visible in your eyes.
He stood up. "No... i am sorry. I should have tried to get to know you at first but i was stuck to the thought of you did not wanted to talk to me. I... shouldnt have judged you beforehand."
Even though he kept the Chyper intimacy you have to himself, you understood his reasons and wrote again to the paper.
"Its okay. I hope we can be friends!"
He smiled at the paper. "Ofcourse." He said with relief. After everything, he is still blaming himself about his prejudices about you, but seeing you getting happy with his words is enough to convince him that it does not matter anymore.
He tries to learn sign language. Its like a form of a apologize to you. Afterall, you cannot talk to him through paper forever, can you? He will make up to you. He promises himself.
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my brother wont stop complaining abt some of the people the hermits hang with/some of the hermits and semi acts like its their job to listen to him when he says they shouldnt add jimmy to the hermitcraft server "because hes annoying and wouldn't add any interesting content"
mf thats your opinion and its not a very common one
he also says this about Geminitay
and dunno if he did mean it for all of them but he said "they keep on adding annoying people who dont add anything interesting" so ig he hates joel, skizz, and pearl too...
bro how does one hate any of them wtf???
he says he hates that they roleplay MF THE ENTIRE FUCKING HERMITCRAFT SERVER IS FUCKING ROLEPLAY, THEYRE ALL ROLEPLAYING, THE PERSONALITIES YOU SEE ON THE SCREEN ARE THE EXTROVERTED PEOPLE PLEASING OVER EXAGGERATED VERSIONS OF THEIR NORMAL PERSONALITIES
THEYRE ALL ROLEPLAYING BRO, ABT LIKE AT LEAST 30% OF WHAT THEYRE DOING IS ACTING AND PRESENTING THEMSELVES
and when i told both my dad and him that they were like "nah there is no way, thatd be them faking who they actually are" bro... as someone who has tried content creation in the past this a major thing you need to do at least a few times, you cannot always just hit record and spit out everything on your mind, you need to present yourself even just a little, even etho does it, not much but he still does, you need to make your content easy to understand so people know wtf is going on
and roleplaying is just an added little thing all the hermits do, hermitcraft is a minecraft roleplay that shows a bunch of friends being stupid together, some of it is their actual personalities, and some of it is them goofing off and over exaggerating shit, going with the bit, i do that with people all the time, i did it yesterday
this rant has gotten less conhesive cuz i have my family yelling around me and i cant rly like hear my own thoughts and shit so ima end it here, i think got the gist of what i meant out
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ultimateloserboy · 1 year
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i cant go to sleep until i release the thoughts so here they are. im sorry if this is a bit more nonsensical or rambleish than my other ones, im very very tired but anyway
this is going to be a bit upsetting for the lovey-dovey sunshine and rainbows crowd but people give red guy and duck WAYY too much credit when it comes to their relationship (or at least how it used to be) like they DID NOT //start out// functional AT. ALL. they used to go together like a car and a tree. and honestly this makes them even more interesting
They’re both insecure in different areas, and they react differently to these insecurities as well. from what ive gathered, red guy dislikes how “odd” he is. he tries to act bitter and uncaring about everything and everyone, either to fit in with the other red things, or to keep himself distracted or distanced from the world hes stuck in. he distances himself from his friends as well. this is a horrible contrast with ducks outward and open love of his friends (despite how horribly he treats them lmao but i digress) duck reveals in the family episode that despite loving himself, he wants other people to love him too. duck is not necessarily insecure in himself, hes the best one after all, but he does feel very lonely. he feels like nobody loves him as much as he loves himself, like the only person he truly has is himself because nobody else is willing to love him. this obviously makes him feel very alone. this is why red guys denial and dismissal of his friends hits ducks insecurities harshly and directly, even if its not intentional.
once i got to the fridge scene during my first watchthrough i was very confused. firstly because i was utterly flabbergasted that they were gay for some reason (i had never even considered it), and secondly because ducks reply caught me off guard. duck is a very full-of-himself character. so why would he be surprised to find out someone likes looking at him? shouldnt he reply with something like “well yeah duh you big stupid idiot im the prettiest and the best etc etc”?? well i understand now why duck reacted that way. he doesnt get many compliments from anyone but himself, probably talking in the mirror. and he ESPECIALLY hadnt gotten many compliments from red guy at this point. red guy denied being his friend very adamantly. EVEN AT HIS FUNERAL. HIS FUNERAL!!! and yes red guy does realize he misses duck eventually, but duck isnt even there to see it, and when he comes back he finds himself literally replaced?? (like.. red guy ur fumbling so hard right now. fumbling straight into a divorce. and ur not even married yet man. but anyway, back on topic)
slowly throughout the series red guy starts being more open, and whether he realizes it or not his whole uncaring act isnt that good to begin with. my favorite small detail during the funeral is that red guy calls the plates “our plates” without even realizing it, right in the middle of denying his best-friendship with duck. like dude who do you think youre fooling other than yourself!?
with all of this considered, despite red guys poor performance of denial, it’s perfectly understandable for duck to be surprised when red guy openly confesses his honest emotions. an up-front confession of feelings is not something red guy ever wants or allows himself to do, so duck was probably confused as hell.
my favorite part of this scene is how red guy is looking away when he says it, still clearly embarrassed but saying it anyway. this is a HUGE deal for his character. it was a character development that had been slowly growing throughout the tv series, and by episode six i think it was as close to completion as its ever been. he does pull the whole “its fine just ignore it” thing with duck earlier in the episode, but he does it more to calm him down in this context. the fridge scene confirms to me that red guy has almost stopped running, not necessarily from the house, but from his friends. he has finally let himself love them. hes finally let himself admit not just to himself, but to duck, that hes important to him.
this is why i think theyre so interesting, because these two characters are cynical assholes. that’s how becky and joe have described them at times. these characters are not the best of people, theyre both messed up people in a messed up and confusing world, so of course they wont be perfect. but thats the beauty of it. they dont want to hurt eachother, so they try their best to change. they try their best to fight against the cruelty of their minds and surroundings and let themselves love eachother even if only for a second, even if in the end it wont really matter
ok im going to sleep now goodnight
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mblue-art · 2 years
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boyf bestfr boy, friend,,
related to this post ig///
.
u dont have to look at this part !! lsdkglfd
it gets p indulgent n kinda,, personal?? iguess? not pushing anyone away if you still want to scroll thru here its mostly ramblethoughts of my simping journey or whatever the heck i turned this whole thing into
hhhhgh here's two doodles i made inbetween the two posts,, maaannnnn,,,
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aaaa aa a aa
(iam just putting these here for when future!me looks back on all these posts and go "haha oh wow i used to,, i used to only,, platonically like him when i think about 'me' me interacting w him,, thats,, oh,, huh that was something")
[took me THREE (3) MONTHS (from when i made that doodle on the left)......... and some light nudging and nice & lovely hc/scenarios from friends... to finally wake up one day and realize "oh. oh holy shit? i. i dont feel weird abt this anymore? fr fr? wait shit i-" cue me sitting up in bed and staring at a wall for a long while as thoughts pour in]
(S. SO YEAH. lust sans. 💘💜💙)
(sona lore is theyre still besties but now theyre dating too woooo/////////)
(LN is still a thing- my skelesona (indigo) shipped with a lust (lavender)- theyre SO in love ur honor,, im just kinda flustered abt this new development lmaoaoaoaoaoao it shouldnt be that srs yk i just think its fun and interesting seeing how i feel abt certain characters and try to make something out of that stuff yk;;)
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homochadensistm · 2 months
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We've seen photos of Palestinians waving Third Reich flags it's not like we desperately need to prove that one singular solitary Hamas soldier has a temporary swastika tattoos that his besties gave him at the 7th grade sleepover. And the fact that it looks so shitty and obviously hand-drawn too is sending me 😭
Like it's corny and it's tired and it's played out. Planting evidence on a terrorist is going to have so much more capital among the insane Houthi fangirls (who also think that Israel trains American police to execute people of color) than it is among pro Israel people who already know that a lot of Hamas members and supporters like Nazis!
There's no way the tattoo is real, there's no logical reason why this guy would have it, we don't need it to be real to prove that Nazi ideology is popular in Gaza. Everyone arguing with you is so hypersensitive to any assertion that Israel is wrong or making something up and they need to take a chill pill, maybe smoke a blunt. Like this wasn't even ISRAEL the state, it was a single IDF soldier probably trying to get clout (guys look I took out the Nazi soldier with his halal swastika tattoo). You can support Israel and still acknowledge that plenty of Israeli soldiers are dumbasses and a lot of them are very young and impulsive.
Forever obsessed with all these people praying on your downfall every time you even slightly disagree with them. I guess they're intimidated 👄💄
I understand your bottom line but dude some of the things u wrote are entirely missing a very important point.
the palis could hold nazi marches and wave these flags on their way to work, it doesnt matter at all. creating and spreading mis/disinformation to Own The Other Side is vile behavior. and yes, you absolutely need to prove the claims you as a country officially make (fortunately, as u stated, this was not claimed officially....YET) because your credibility is what makes or breaks ur public relations. soldiers drawing swastikas on palis with sharpies shouldnt be excused as a teehee oopsie doopsie its just a prank bro!! it should be taken extremely seriously and it doesnt remotely matter whether the palis wave the nazi flags or not, its not the point.
some retarded 18yo with an M16 in the middle of khan younis isnt thinking abt Israeli public relations when he does something fucking stupid and the myriad of absolutely disgusting vids posted by these freaks on tiktok should serve as a lesson to us all on that. ppl who r capable of ransacking some random persons house or store are also capable of planting evidence like this, and we know for a fact that both soldiers and spokespeople lied multiple times abt "evidence". ppl dont seem to understand that both parties here have a vested interest in maintaining the others bad image and both parties are going to release bs propaganda.
and ur absolutely right, we dont need a tattoo to prove the prevelence of nazi ideology in gaza, but if we dont need that then simply dont lie about it! dont make shit up! and yet someone still made it up and its going to be added to the pile of bs Israel spread (because lets face it, even if the country didnt officially post this, a soldier did, and a soldier is a representative to the country whether we like it or not), that is going to hurt us down the line. again ppl dont seem to understand that the palis can lie until their tongues fall off and noone will care because the west expects absolutely nothing from them, but we cannot play by these rules because we are a democratic country that is held to western standards of conduct. we as ordinary ppl must point out the crap thats spread around by members of Our SideTM just as much as we do on the crap spread around by the terrorist cum garglers, and if were not willing to do that then were just as brainwashed as they are.
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ppnuggie · 7 months
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      TRAILCUTTER x female reader
    『 trailcutter ,, female reader 』
  -> pt . 1 / teebs w/ a reader that works for cybertronian/human relations
  — fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort ,, reassurance <3
  — just a little series of mine ill work on :3 feel free to request any of them <33 ive got a few short series in mind ,, one w/ drift in a fast n furious sorta au w/ undercover cop reader ,, one w/ tracks n a cop reader ,, theres another short series im doing w/ the minibots (including rung + minimus) w/ the reader on the lost light :D
— feel free to reblog or give any comments / feedback ! <3 i enjoy reading them and seeing my work spread !
        fixing the bowtie to your suit ,, you heard trailcutter sigh in the background . fixing any stray strands of hair left out ,, you turned around to your lover . " you doing okay ?" you asked with a head tilt ,, eyes staring into his own visor as he flashes a small smile . "alls good ,," he brushed it off . though you kept your stare fixated on him ,, frowning . " nervous ,, maybe ,," he casted his helm to the side . he couldnt keep his troubles hidden ,, you knew him too well for that .
        " it'll be alright teebs ,," you reassure the bot ,, walking over and placing your hand against his leg . he would have to mass displace for the interview . as the liason for earth ,, people on the planet were curious about your new relationship with one of the crew members . the government didnt say much ,, but you knew they didn't approve of it . though people on earth were thrilled ,, an interspecies relationship ! the first of it ,, with humans that is .
        and so one of the few famous reporters were interested in doing an interview with you both . saying they want to know about life in space ,, how it was aboard the lost light ,, and what its like to be with a cybertronian . trailcutter ,, lord bless his spark ,, he was all for it ,, but now that he started to think it through ,, he was nervous about their reactions .
        it wouldnt be his first ,, or last ,, time around humans . hes been to earth ,, met the residents and seen the sightings ,, but now that he was in a relationship with a human ,, and about to be interviewed ,, he couldnt help but worry about what might happen . what if says something wrong ? or does something to make people think otherwise of interspecies relationships ? especially his with you ? his spark hummed loudly ,, visor dimming as he worried more and more . " hey ,, look at me ." your voice broke his worried thoughts .
he crouched down to your height ,, or as best as he could . " you'll do fine ,, i know it ." your hands wrapped around his digit ,, a smile settled upon your lips as you eased his nerves . " if they go overboard or say something that makes you uncomfortable ,, just tell me and we can leave immediately . i promise trailcutter ,, i wont put you in a situation you dont want to be in ." you reassured the bot ,, hands petting his digit . " if you dont want to do this we can call it off ,, and ill message the interviewer . they'll understand ,, im sure ." primus bless you ,, trailcutter really felt like he didnt deserve you . he wouldnt say that out loud though ,, knowing you'd get upset and tell him he shouldnt think that way . but he knows ,, he knows deep down that you mean the world to him ,, that he doesnt really deserve someone as nice and understanding as you . he's lucky to be with you ,, still awestruck at the fact you chose him over any other bot .
you could've chosen rodimus ,, with his bright and flashy paintjob and outgoing personality . you couldve chosen ratchet ,, who could help you with anything and was quite a handsome mech in a way . there was also skids ,, who was more the nice to you and made you laugh often . or even the minibots aboard the ship ; swerve — who knew more about earth than trailcutter did — would be a good match for you . even that little guy tailgate hes seen around . they were better suited for your height ,, and wouldnt have to worry so much about accidentally squishing you underfoot like he does everyday . hell ,, you even could've chosen cyclonus . he had shanix ,, and knew a lot more than he did about anything in the universe .
but you didnt . you chose him ,, a mech with a drinking problem and many insecurities . a mech known as a little horsey to be used for his force fields only . though it was due to those very force fields that had attracted you to strike a conversation with him . giving him more compliments he'd ever receive in his whole life . that little conversation would lead into a friendship ,, and those little moments between you two would blossom into your relationship . you had taken the mech a long way ,, his insecurities started to become something he was starting to feel confident in . while he still drank ,, he didnt do it as often or enough to get overloaded like he usually did .
" thank you ,," was all he could muster . servos wrapped themselves gently around your body ,, lifting you up to his facial plates so he could plant a kiss to your head . " i'm good ,, i'm ready ." he said ,, derma curling into a smile . " you look good with that suit on ,," he commented ,, digit moving up to play with your little bowtie . you raised a brow at that ,, " is that so ?" your lips formed a smirk . " should i wear this more then ?" trailcutter nodded ,, letting out a chuckle . " please ,," he pleaded gently .
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spacedlexi · 3 months
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sorry if this is a personal question ... 🐛... but what are you doing for college and how did you decide to go for it?
oof
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im going to school for animation but im realizing how much i love storyboarding specifically (and how little patience i have for full animating/not having the time i need to make animations that arent quick and stiff to meet a deadline (also i want adobe animate obliterated off the earth)). ive cried about how much i love boarding LMAO its that serious. but i love working with Little Guys and putting them in Situations plus theyre characters i dont have to make up myself?? im adapting a script?? but i might still be able to have fun with it? and as a lover of visual mediums i get really excited about being able to control a camera/composition for Maximum Emotional Effect, plus the idea of leading a viewer through a scene. knowing "rules" and breaking them with purpose. im in an editing class rn thats got me really excited aha
it was NOT an easy choice to make. im going back to school so late because i kept telling myself i shouldnt do it and should pick something non art related but well.... here i am.... (my mom kinda pushed the idea even tho the concept of going into art school debt keeps me up at night 💀)
i stumbled around community college for a few years hoping something else would Click for me but in the end i just kept taking art classes. i knew i would be miserable doing anything else. its still Work but its a kind of work i still derive enjoyment from even when im tired or frustrated. i think i would hate the academia world when it comes to my more scientific interests, and i dont have the patience to put up with the bs of being female presenting in a male dominated field like engineering (plus my math brain got broken by a bad calc teacher so...), so instead im taking those inspirations and using them for my art :) im a little engineer at heart so being able to apply that kind of thinking to my art inspires me (and i hope maybe something i make one day will inspire some scientists too lol). plus i dont think i would be happy if i wasnt surrounded by other artists
i doubt my choices every day 😭 but i really do love it a lot. im hoping that my passion and vision takes me SOMEWHERE in the industry, but its scary for everyone out there right now... i mostly try not to think about it honestly
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wygolvillage · 4 months
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a new year's resolution
well, as of 2024 i’ve decided i will no longer be posting on tumblr... this shouldnt be the hugest surprise since ive been pretty critical of staff, the over-monetization of the website, the site culture, and the user experience for the past year and gradually reducing my time spent scrolling the ol’ dashboard- ive even mentioned my intent to eventually leave; well, that eventually is now! gradually ive found myself analyzing the effect that using tumblr for 7+ years has had on me, and the effects of social media in general.
ive never had to write a goodbye letter like this before. while ive joined and left several online platforms over the years, its always been a gradual fade in interest rather than a conscious decision to stop. never have i used a platform as long as ive used tumblr, over 1/3 of my life. ive grown up with tumblr, for better or worse. how do you write a goodbye for that? i guess ill have to try my best. because as important as tumblr was for me, ive recognized the way its hurt me too.
finding other avenues of online self-expression particularly has made me think a lot about this. when i edit my website i feel accomplished, happy, and content, feeling i have put something of myself out into the world, my seed to grow and garden to tend. when i scroll through tumblr i feel as if my brain is mostly idle, and when i do emotionally respond its often out of anger or annoyance, because anger = engagement and social media sites like tumblr WANT engagement. particularly because i have OCD ive found myself upset by certain aspects of tumblr discourse culture, as well- it is basically the Scrupulosity Website and much of the way i react to and interact with media has been colored by my years spent absorbing the viewpoints of said Scrupulosity Website! i even used to look up discourse topics on tumblr just to anger myself on purpose, which is a dangerous road to go down, to build up Enemies and Factions in your mind- this is how discourse culture works. the culture of tumblr teaches you to see the world in black and white, and to feel like youre always in danger of compromising your moral purity or being attacked by the morally impure. If You Don’t Reblog This You Are A Bad Person. even as someone who nowadays tries to stay away from discourse entirely, its still there in the back of my mind, because the way we interact on this website is colored by this. when im online i dont actually want to be angry all the time! in fact i like putting my effort towards more positive stuff. but additionally: tumblr made me unhappy but it also made me an addict
and yeah social media addiction sounds like a silly boomer thing to complain about but one thing i noticed when i started trying to curb my time spent on tumblr was that opening the site was damn near compulsive. we all know those “open tumblr, close tumblr, open tumblr again immediately after” memes but that did describe my behavior pretty accurately. the draw and allure of social media feeds is powerful, if i accidentally click the youtubes short tab ill find myself a half hour later scrolling through random shit i don't care about and asking well how the hell did i get here? i dont even like that stuff! tumblr is no different no matter how much the site tries to coast on the reputation of being the last social media that's a “remnant of the old web” and “has no algorithm”. i like my chronological dash but it is equally as addicting to scroll through the thousands of people ive followed over the years, as it is to scroll through the algorithmic feeds of youtube shorts, because that's just social media!
and kicking addiction is pretty damn hard. before 2023, i made two separate attempts at reducing my tumblr usage and both fell through within a week due to that addiction. for reference this current bought of thoughts about reducing my tumblr usage and making my online/irl balance more healthy, around the start of 2023 when i began working on my website and its taken me an entire year to wean myself off of the hellsite, bit by bit. theres a point where it stopped being a conscious act, and even as i was carefully whittling down how often i use tumblr with extensions like leechblock i still had that compulsion go off multiple times every day, its a really strange feeling. but now that ive found so many more ways to express myself online, i just feel more whole now... i guess what im saying is that when i post on tumblr my first instinct is to complain or wallow about something, when i post on my own handmade blog on my website i always want to talk about things that excite me or make me happy! and its been such a tangible change in the way i think and act and im certain its because of the way social media and tumblr have their own “societal expectations” and structure that is built to feed on this negativity loop.
and a lot of the biggest shifts happened when i began immersing myself in the ideals of the web revival, while creating my own website. finding things that genuinely interested me and niches i want to occupy made me so much happier. i know we make a lot of jokes about having mutuals we never talk to that mean the world to us and i do think that is indicative of something. like, when i post on a forum full of strangers i am engaging with more “face to face” (or the digital equivalent) communication than i do with years-long mutuals. how genuine are these connections, this dashboard, the enjoyment i got from that meme post ill forget in 10 minutes? (not to say that i don’t genuinely care abt my followers and mutuals. ykwim?) i can still get all the things i enjoy out of tumblr in a more curated form via rss feeds; ive been so much more proud of what i post and create and code on my website. what am i here for? i gradually realized that i am losing absolutely nothing when i “miss out” or block tumblr on my phone or what have you.
since starting working on my neocities site ive felt so much creative drive. ive created whole interactive essays and worlds and games and writings and so many things i could never host on social media. my website is a place of my very own, and ive been learning the value of focusing on what i put out into the net compared to what i take from it. its made me feel so much more fulfilled when i spend time online.
and let's not forget about staff. i have broader issues with how automattic in particular has gone about running the site. the ads only took up more and more of the dashboard, and every month it felt like there was some new paid feature doomed to never take off. all while the user experience gradually degraded. using the site without browser extensions to fix the ui and block the ads and tumblr live and all the other shit they threw all over the place makes it look like its ridden with viruses, and i think the fact that its become so normalized to feel like we have to stay in spaces that become increasingly hostile to us, even while the internet is so vast, is really strange (i mean, i also thought that way at first). but Anyway. so much time and effort was spent on features no one liked or wanted in some desperate attempt to get a little extra money, while staff members get in public fights with users who complain about getting monetization shoved down their throat. its so openly pathetic. the merch store had mostly mediocre designs and the digital tumblrmart is absolutely full of useless digital goods with free alternatives. considering this is a userbase that gladly donates to other sites donation drives for hosting costs (i.e. ao3, wikipedia, internet archive), i am shocked that staff never considered the obvious answer of a fucking donation drive once a year or so! the ceo telling people with concerns about the ads being unsafe for epilepsy to “just pay the ad free subscription” is one of the most disgusting things ive ever heard from someone officially representing such a platform. do not be fooled by the reputation tumblr has cultivated: all that it cares about is making money from you. tumblr is “in danger” because it can't turn a profit- because a profit is all they care about!
so why stay here when im happier elsewhere, apart from the addictive compulsion? that's what ive been thinking through for nearly a year, realizing that i have no reason to, and that weaning myself off of the addiction is in my best interest. i can create and blog and have fun online and connect with others and follow other peoples work all without the need for tumblr anymore! and i think id be all the healthier for it.
over the past year ive truly fallen in love with the internet again and ive loved putting myself out there, unrestrained in ways i havent felt since i was very young. but nonetheless ive learned a lot on tumblr, ive had some of the worst and best experiences of my online life, and i dont doubt that i would be a much different person if i had never been a tumblr user for as long as i was. but i had to break out of this shell eventually.
i keep going over this wondering how i can express every feeling in my head, how i can word everything just a little better, how i can make the perfect goodbye. but i think this will have to suffice.
you can still keep up with me online here:
-explore my website: i keep it consistently updated and im always adding new things and writing new posts on my blog! you can even speak to me directly on the site! if you sign my guestbook or use my chatbox ill try to respond :) if theres anything on this list you do id like it to be this one! i worked hard on it! you can even send me chat messages on my homepage! just keep in mind it may not display everything right on most mobile browsers, but it should be mostly navigable...
you can also subscribe to my rss feed. if you don't know what rss is, it allows you to use a feed reader to keep up with updates from sites all over the internet! my rss feed will notify you whenever ive made a new post on my blog or made an interesting edit on my site id like you to take a peek at :0 convenient, right?
you can also email me at [email protected] to message me directly. if you prefer im also “wygolvillage” on discord
thank you and happy new years :) thanks for seeing me off as i sail to a new sunrise <3
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ganondoodle · 8 months
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So your took rewrite. I have a very important question regarding the Zonai. From what I hear they're supposed to be the dragon tribe I think? And that theory with Dinraal,Farosh, and Naydra. People were making theories about them being originally Zonai. Would those 3 have a important role in the rewrite??? I'm curious because I would love to see how you draw them and implement them into the lore. Also I love your demise and hylia! Love your work too so ye that's my question, apologies if I worded this wrong or seemed rude. I am not good with words ^^;;
so, with no intention to sound mean, this is a little awkward for me to answer bc i ... loathe the idea of the three dragons having been of sonau origin
i talked about it in a few rants before but i loved the dragons before bc they were something unexplained and ethereal, spirits older than time that yet still circling the skies unknown if they ever had a purpose, or if they even had to have one, just a part of this world, a mystery i loved bc it was unsolved (personally i liked the idea of them being like the last stage of evolution for the dragons from skyward sword but again thats just me) whenever i saw them i stood there and watched in awe, one of my most favorite things from botw ... or were ..
see it might have to do a little with me not liking the canon sonau at all bc of how they were handled, a big point of that being how they felt artificially shoved into every part of this hyrules history so nothing was there that hadnt been done better or touched by the sonau before already; i get that making that connection between the sonau and the dragons is very obvious and can be interesting for some but i personally hate it bc it just destroys that sense of awe i used to feel when i saw them .. they are a mystery that shouldnt ever been 'solved' or even considered as soemthing TO solve, their mystery being unsolved is what made it GOOD to me
i now have to actually work to still seem them as i once did instead of just some sonau dude eating a god damn stone, again i dont mean this to sound mean about it but i just .... it takes it all away what i once felt about them, oh ... it was just some sonau guy .. its them again .. it wasnt an ethereal ever wandering spirit of never known origins it was just some sonau guys .... oh .... oh ...no ... (good morning i am very brave and when the dragons are revealed to not have been unknown always there spirits ever wandering the world from the beginning of time which was one of my favorite aspects of botw but instead have been just some sonau dudes eating a stone destroying my feeling of awe and respect to them forever i wont cry about it ..)
so .... the dragons (Eldra, Farodra, Naydra for me as im using their german names) do play a role in my rewrite .. but not as people or having anythign revealed about them, im keeping them as i once saw them, as spirits that have always been there (they play a role to repair the mastersword as a reference to how it was forged in skyward sword)
(and the reason the stones cause someone to transform into a dragon was bc those creatures are the most magical beings to exist and the stones are made of an insane amount of spirit energy and if that all gets released all at once there is no way for it to go other than explode or if consumed to twist whatever organism is trying to take it in into a draconic form)
the sonau in my rewrite are not dragon people, tho they do worship them as they are incredibly spiritual, but an underground dwelling species (loosely based on bats and monkeys, with somethign of a deep sea vibe to them) who only appeared on the surface after their population was already beyond saving (the reason for it being that they mined the stones for their tech to such a degree it killed the land they needed to live and as they dug deeper and more intensely for more stones, now more for pure survival than anything else, they both found more of the engima stones AND the remnant of the past that warned of ganondorf, which then prompted them to breach the surface and establish contact with the ones that dwell there; they never did that before bc its hard to get there and they considered themselves to be above any other species spiritually and didnt want to messed up their structures of society - something that changed as they stood on the brink of extinction and had found the warning which then made rauru break their old rule of not breaching the surface)
(i will say that i can get behind the idea that the big skeletons you find in the underground having been of sonau that ate an enigma stone and that is how they knew it doing that for sure, it otherwise just having been part of their belief system as dragons are the most spiritual of all aside from gods)
(... i dont want to think about the reverse possibility tho .. the orignal dragons being dead and the sonau replacing them.. i dont like that even if it made sense ,,,,, ... yet another thing they replaced ... stop that ..)
im sorry if this sounds mean or dismissive but i just ... dont like the all dragons having been sonau theory at all and im kinda glad they dont seem to plan any DLC bc i was afraid it would outright confirm it, which would suck .. at least like this there is still some denialability about it (like all the clothing and dragon themed stuff being used purely for worship on their own)
thank you for otherwise liking my work tho!! i hope this isnt too disappointing for you to hear, in the end the rewrite is primarily a way for me to cope with what i dont like and implement the ideas i have had to fix it for me :C
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skrs-cats · 7 months
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have you read the lion blaze self harm scene? kinda sh ig he basically lets …ratscar i think like scratch him up bad by holding his powers back. interesting to me what’re ur thoughts? (idk if that’s the right definition, i’ve always defined it as having someone/yourself injure your body with the intent to hurt) sorry if this is a downer, i just know your a lion blaze enthusiast and wanted to know your thoughts
ohhh yes i do actually. its one of the few scenes i remember better bc i actually own the book where it happened.
to elaborate on the scene more, it happens after he has an argument with cinderheart, who claims they shouldnt be together since he's part of the prophecy, how his destiny is to save the clans (and coincidentally not get hurt) and them being mates would only be distractions
lion's rebuttal? instigate a fight w a patrol near the shadowclan border, disallow himself to fight back, and force the wounds to get inflicted on his body, as a show that he CAN choose to get hurt. that he CAN choose what kind of 'destiny' he should have. ive put my own thoughts about it under read more bc this got long (unsurprisingly jkhasdkjfhd)
i spent like a solid few minutes re-reading the chapter to gather my thoughts on it LOL i remember not thinking much about it when i was a kid, but i think its interesting to analyze now!
what was attempted to be written, at least, piques me bc its about lion trying to prove that they can exist outside of the narrative the prophecy has given them. which is funnily ironic, since the start of the chapter is of him having self doubts regarding saving the clans when they found out theres a fourth cat, how that basically means that the three of them wouldnt be enough, how his destiny might have changed. reading this chapter just gave me a new can of brainworms but ill try not to delve into it too much bc its gonna get way messier LMAOOO
to go back to lion purposely getting himself hurt, i dont think he's the type of person who would do that for the sake of it, unless as a really dumb way to prove a point. but it makes me think he really doesnt have much of a care of whether he'd get hurt or not. a severe lack of self-preservation, and all that. cats back at camp react to his wounds w all around shock, he's herded into the med den all the while he acts like he'll be fine. i dunno if the shock from the cats is just bc theyre just so used to seeing him NOT hurt, or if his wounds were really that bad. but either or both still pretty much gives me a lot to think about. homeboy doesnt know the limits of his body, and that makes for interesting scenarios of how he manages to deal w that after losing his powers
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