#i think they honestly just havent had any friends so they dont know what theyre doing most of the time

[roseworth]

you're the kyle authority on my dash so i figured i'd ask if u have a reading list or if there's a particular list you'd recommend 👀 or just what your fav/most recommended issues/arcs are for him in general

sobbing and crying i cannot be called a kyle authority because i have basically only read him in green lantern 1990 and countdown. and i read countdown before gl90 so i dont even remember how good his characterization was in that fhasdkjfhsajdf

BUT. that will never stop me from being annoying about him. gl90 is all i need i refuse to read anything else. heres a reading guide that has a lot of good stuff on it but uhh i havent read everything on that #lol

but some of my fav arcs/issues!!!! or just arcs that def should be read for him fhdskjdfs

green lantern 1990:

#50-55 (origin story <3 rip alex)

#58 & 59 (donnakyle brainworms)

#71-73 (he gets to have a fun silly time with other heroes yippee!!)

#76-77, & green arrow #110-111 (connorkyle brainworms)

#83-85 (FOAMING AT THE MOUTHHHHH I LOVE THIS ONE. YRRA!!!!!!!)

#94 (i just like his interactions with kon fhakdfjha its so sweet)

#96, green arrow #130, flash #135 (three of a kind arc my beloved)

#98-99 (this one is honestly just okay but also there are a couple moments in it that im obsessed with so it deserves to be recommended)

#113-114 (i really like a lot of the introspection with effigy so this arc can be rly nice as a treat)

#121-124 (trapped in a dream trope my beloved <3 also some good stuff at the end to finish marz's run)

#128 (roykyle brainworms)

#129-136 (starts off judd winick's run,,, irc theres some iffy stuff in these issues bc winick's a freak but theyre pretty good)

#143-150 (oh my fucking god. ION. greatest arc ever. do not read this first because you need the full context of his character to appreciate it. but once you read it itll change you forever)

#153 (this one is just adorable i love fhdakhfbdfa calm before the storm)

#154-155 (the storm. hate crime arc, very sad so tw for uhhh homophobic hate crimes. but its a good arc)

can i be honest i dont remember any of the rest of the issues really grabbing my attention. there are good moments (#157 my beloved) but no issues stand out hfksadjhfa

also i was so upset by the ending of this run the first time i read it. i have no problem with sad endings to stories but this one made me so upset and i still havent gotten over it. it ends with him losing all the friends he had on earth and going "well im off to space forever now" and i dont know why i reacted so terribly to it but i remember pouting about it for like 2 days

anyways outside of gl1990 i think green lantern: circle of fire is 1000000% worth reading (honestly i only read the first issue, the only with alex & kyle, and the last issue and i got all the important stuff). also completely unbiased and totally no ulterior motivation of new titans #126 (where he just happens to have a rly sweet interaction with rose.....)

i hope this helps u at all <3 i honestly recommend reading all of green lantern 1990 (or well. starting at #48) because its mostly really fun and has a lot of good moments <3333 and if anyone has more kyle recommendations please feel more than welcome to drop them

#ive been meaning to go back to green lantern stuff #i intended to go back to green lantern after i finished green arrow but well. #i actually still havent even finished green arrow 88 fhadkjfhadfk so im. still making my way through that #i abandoned it for a few weeks and am now slowly working through it oops #i havent even gotten to ollies death yet #anyways um enjoy whatever this is #kyle rayner #dc

[coderiderr]

9, 22 and 27 for you good friend!!

09. personal bias aside, who do you think is the best written character and why? 

regarding MCD oh katelyn absolutely no question. plot threads and arcs can get a little all over the place but katelyn has a consistent motiv/arc she follows through on s1-2 with her defection and everything, we love you katelyn <333 ugh queen

For mystreet well tbh. uhh. s1-3 zane is the only one who had a solid like. arc (?) about opening up and making friends. (not that he should be opening up to these ppl theyre all assholes to him lmfao) so much happens in mystreet and the quality, ranges. s1-3 was like a sitcom but then s4-6 were so much idk.

22. who's the character that you most identify with and why?

i dont think i identify with any of these guys honestly. theyre all very different from me,. mystreet liochant ig, bc he does nothing <3

27. what's something really interesting that you wished canon decided to explore more? alternatively, what's something interesting that you wished the fandom acknowledged more?

OH THERES SOSOSSOSOSOS MUCH goign on mystreet concepts first uhm s4-6 i dont like ghost but her concept is so insane but the fucking execution but like she literally cant remember anything about her life other than the name zane & like love. which she interprets as oh he must be the love of my life or smthin so shes obsessed with him but extremely strongly implied (or outright confirmed id have to rewatch) this is the ghost of emmalyn from mcd and the reason she remembers zane is bc MCD zane literally killed her husband in front of her its so crazy. thinking the reincarnation of the guy who killed your soulmate is your one true love bc you cant remember why you know him AHHHHHHH

s1-3 mystreet im blankin on a lot of it. idk garroth repsect ur brothers boundries more or smthin </3 wish they leaned more into the hilarity of zane being part of the homeowners association. wwe only got the ep where he judges christmas decorations for a competition. ohhh wait they shouldve leaned more into zane being an outcast and why bc theyre kinda like hes a dick ig? even tho like. he reasonable defensive and shit bc the people around him are like. constantly making fun of him. i think he deserves to be a little bit of a dick.

MCD JUST LIKE>> TRAVIS IN GENERAL HIS CONCEPT GOES SO INSANE AND THEN THEY JUSARGHHH like his dad is the demon lord and he grew up solely with his mom and is extremely outcast at the village he protects FROM HIS DAD bc of his parentage and the dude literally spends all his time alone after his mother died he has so much compassion for people who hate him it goes so crazy. and hes so ashmed of his demon side im ahhhh. hes always lurking in ym brain

and dante and gene dante and gene. pov youre orphans and your big brother is doing something terrible so you report him and he winds up being hanged for it and he comes back as an undead monstrosity and kills literally everyone in your hometown ((i realize i have misremebered it was a memory wipe not killing but so many village wipes happen in this series can you blame me)) but you and you are haunted by the guilt you feel. its hard but you end up finding a new place to call home and new people to call family until one day theyre gone and you do your best to help your little struggling village and you perservere until one day 15 years later theyre back and havent aged a day. you thought they were gone.

also just fucking getting to see dante age and get married and become a father while gene is stuck in the same 20 y/o body goes crazy. what happens when you outgrow your big brother

also hmm i dunno. i think we should all aprreciate brenden more. also kiki & zane are so we need to talk about that more

#asks #THANKY OU AIDEN!!!!!!!!!

[hannieehaee]

Idk if this is appropriate or not (feel free if this is something you don't want to answer) but as a casual kpop stan who really only stans seventeen and listens to other kpop artists on a somewhat frequent basis I just feel as though seventeen is reaching their peak in a way that's far from satisfying. Like idk if this makes sense but to me it seems as tho the members are struggling to keep out of "scandals" with mingyu's incident last year, minghao/seoksoon being labeled as fat phobic earlier this year over out of context clips and now with Joshua (he's not even close to being my favorite member but these rumors and pregnancy stories are honestly making me so upset rn) ...as a fan who feels a genuine attachment to these people it's hard for me to be happy because while Ik the boys deserve every good thing coming their way fame comes with a price and that price is what I'm worried about. Like I get that Pledis isn't SM and seventeen definitely see themselves as family unlike NCT who view themselves more as colleagues I'm so scared that Joshua will eventually leave like Lucas or heaven forbid anything more drastic happens. It's just that I always see these "we could never save them" posts but then the same people who post them also comment the worst things forgetting that idols are humans too. I'm super sorry for the long ask but I just read that jeonghan got hurt and that made me think of the rest of the members and everything else they've been going thru. I'm not even the type of person to get attached to people I barely know but with Seventeen it's like I'm really and honestly praying for their success because they seem that THAT genuine group of people who are just trying their best. Sorry for the rambling

i get what ur saying. dont worry abt sending a long ask! ur welcome to rant abt svt in my inbox whenever! honestly i havent stanned for too long so idk how things were before this past year but i do worry for them lately :/ theyre getting injured too often and they get no rest. i dont like how pledis/hybe are managing them at all. theyve been constantly touring japan very repeatedly for seemingly no good reason at all which has obviously tired them out (theyve been dropping like flies, LITERALLY). pledis had the opportunity to promote them in ways that didnt involve constant performances but have just chosen not to for some reason. i really hope they get to rest soon (unlikely tho since theyre likely gonna have a world tour next year).

about the joshua thing. i feel sosososo bad for him. idk and idc if hes really dating that girl honestly. i do feel like it was kinda dumb of her to consistently post herself in the same places/clothes as him if they really wanted to keep it a secret BUT neither of them deserved the hate/scrutiny they got for it. not even with the pregnancy thingy on her stories. i don't think joshua and lucas' situations are comparable whatsoever since joshua has not done anything wrong unlike lucas. im hoping pledis somehow protects him better but thats unlikely. i dont think any member of svt will ever leave bc as u said, theyre family. cant rlly compare to nct tho lol bc i only stan svt so idk any other groups' dynamics like that. i do get what ur saying tho i have friends who stan nct and svt and theyve said to me that they do see a drastic difference in dynamics between the two groups but thats neither here nor there.

lastly, i have the best hopes for svt. they keep saying theyll only go up from here and i believe that. idk how that will play out with military service in consideration or with what seems to be chronic incidents that keep happening to them (gyu, cheol, and han in the past few months) but i trust and hope they'll be okay. they have a very established fanbase and a rlly good support group with one another so i only see good things for them in the future. hope they get at least a month off soon though.

#hope i didnt sound like im coming at u anon i agree with most of the things u said 😭 #and i totally underatand ur worries theyre very valid! things have been very hectic in caratland for a while now #hope theyll all be ok #and also hoping han has a speedy recovery poor guy shouldntve been performing on a bad ankle this whole time :(

[bunnychargebolt]

Im going to give my parents shaken baby syndroms Im- hhhhhhhh vent :3 (gonna put any warning stuffs in tags)

I am so just- am eepy. I want to sleep. It is fucking 2:30 in the morning. But I cannot! Because I am hungry! And my body is fucking not doing good! And I can not do anything about it because I do not have food.

But for whatever reason!! My mother!! Who eats the least in this household!! Continually has her stuff stocked!! She fucking- eats like two of the jif to go cups of peanut butter for lunch. And that is like- her lunch. And that just fucking works for her. Which is because she got fucking weight loss surgery.

Im

Hhhhhhhhhhhh

I do not have enough food. And honestly I probably havent had enough food in months. Because instead of eating i sleep. Because my body shuts down. And I am trying *so hard* to get across to my parents that I need food. I am- hhhhh honestly prolly qualifying as anorexic speaking strictly on eating patterns. Which ik for sure my mom is.

And also my irl friend keeps talking about hes gonna starve himself. And im- hhhhh. Theres so many fucking tjings going on with him and theyre bad and I havent talked about them and im going to fucking lose my mind. But thats not even what im focused on right now.

I dont know if i can continue physical therapy. Because it is not guaranteed that i have food. And my parents say that money is tight. But my mother is constantly getting a bunch of stuff. And we have so much shit. And im- i camt handle all of this.

I cant ask for anything without being told that im asking for a lot. My mom ordered in dinner for me and my brother the other night bc she got a thing through work and i asked for what I know would be enough for me and I got told that thats too expensive. Which i understand. The cost of shit is fucking insane. But there is so much fucking focus on cost and portion size and “oh tjat costs too much” “oh youre asking for a lot” “dont forget that this is what a portion size” and even fucking talk of like calories and checking even though i ask for that to not happen.

People tell me to take some of their food because they have plenty and I get it but Im fucking terrified. My mom had locked up a shit ton of food when i was a kid including freezers. Which to this day still have the locks by them. And if im caught she wont hesitate to do it again. I cant go through that again.

I know I cant really get out. Im genuinely scared of my parents. I- cant. I cant get out. I cant leave stuff. Im terrified. Fuck i don’t remember ever not being scared of my mom in some capacity. And my dads way more passive but sometimes he yells and I just- cant do it. And i hate that what they do works. I get shoved into being this fucking doormat of a person.

Honestly I dont think I ever really got to be a person. I still dont super feel like one. I dont have complete control over myself. I dont feel like i have free will. Which sucks. I wanma be my own person. I wanna learn what itd feel like to be able to be myself for even a day. Im- just lost a lot of the time.

The only good thing I know for sure is coming out of this is that I know my depression medication works. Im pretty sure most of my issues with functioning are from malnutrition issues. And im def not suicidal or having thoughts of sh which is really nice!! Plus I know I have a very supportive group of friends online that I love very much

Wuheiwhe speaking of friends- angy about irl friend. He fucking- complained to me that he gets upset when i vent about shit at home cause hes gonna get kicked out when he turns 18. Which likw- i get it. The threat of being homeless is horrible. But if your thought process while you have fucking unwatched access to a credit card and can essentially have whatever the fuck you want while im saying i dont fucking have food at home is “well at least you have a home” IS FUCKING INSANE. Especially because you have already gathered almost $1000 in cash amd still have like 11 months to figure shit out. Your future situation sucks but that should not take away empathy for my current situation??? Where i am??? Not getting fed enough???

I understand that your homelife is shit and your family is fucked. However, you almost never get told no. Which is really fucking obvious!!! Because you wont take any of my nos for an answer!!! And tbh youre kinda financially abusive!!! I hear how you talk to your bf which is fucking insane and i hate it. And when you talk about how you pay for gas when im using my parents cars and they need to be filled and i say were driving around too much and using a lot of gas you go “well its my gas” No!! It isnt!! That is not how that works!! And just because you pay for the fucking gas WHEN YOU HAVE ME DRIVING FUCKING ALL OVER THE PLACE BECAUSE I LITERALLY CANNOT GWT YOU TO UNDERSTAND IM SAYING NO does not kean you pay for the rest of the fucking car!!! You also!! Make jokes about taking back gifts!! Because you paid for them!! Which is shitty as fuck!! And its not even your fucking koney its your grandmas money and you got fucking pissed and bitchy when Ive mentioned that when talking about it being different when one of our friends took advantage of us for money because you are just handed it and the stuff i had i workwd for, in a job that started the decline of my physical wellbeing. Its not the same fucking thing.

Im

Shaking. I want to scream. I cant. Handle everything. I dont want to have to be here and dealing with all of this.

And anothwr fucking tjing about ky friend- he gets pissy when me or his boyfriend accidentally leave garbage in his room. Which i get a little but then he doesnt take care of it either!! And then he has shit there all the time!! Including multiple unfinished starbucks drinks that have grown mold!!! Why do you keep getting the biggest fucking size when you know damn well you wont drink it.

And you keep fucking- i cant play therapist for you. You cannot constantly come crying to le about your bf and talking about how you should break up with him AND THEN GET KAD AT ME FOR SUGGESTING YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM

Im not- i cant. Im

Im violently angry. And i want to sleep. Amd i wamt to be able to have food. And i want my oarents to love me and understand me. Or even fucking- to try. At all. I want my physical wellbeing to matter. But it doesnt. In multiple different ways. And its all just so bad all the time and i try and tune it out but it slips through.

Im having trouble remember things. Its bad. Im- i cant use my brain as well as i know i should be able to. Im- idk. I just cant fucking deal with this. Except im still going to. Im complaining but theres mot kuch i can change.

I hate feeling like im breaking all the time. I want to be able to be loved and be a person and have a home!!! I have a roof over my head. And i appreciate that so much. But this is absolutely not a home. And its very much not welcoming for me. And I just- I perpetually have the feeling of “i want to go home” with no home to go to. And its been like that for most of my life. And I just- really want to have a home.

#vent #tw vent #this was originally about ky parents but it tirned into a generalized thing #ummm #tw disordered eating #tw eating issues #financial abuse #fuckinggg #emotional abuse #??? #shit gets fucky idk #my brains not- doing well #also im actively running away from server friends in this post #i love you guys #just #being vulnerable is hard and i hold back as much as i can #when were on call or whatever #scared of complaining too much and pushing people away again #pls dont leave lol

[sometransgal]

do you have any music recs? i’m so bored of my current stuff

Ah that's tough without knowing your tastes but I'll go with my main crowd pleasers first and my weirder ones second

Crowd Pleasers:

Orville Peck - Fantastic queer country music and a great place to start if you think country is bad but are willing to have your mind changed. Try his first album Pony out!

Motionless In White - If you had an emo phase and like heavier metal then i highly recommend them, I've listened since i was a teen and I've always enjoyed. I recommend starting with their album Infamous

Ghost - Consistently described as Metal for people who dont like Metal but honestly I think there's something for everyone to enjoy as long as you can jive with their spooky satanic aesthetics. I personally love their album Impera

Against Me! - Look if youre on my blog you've likely heard of Against Me, theyre a trans leftist phenomenon but just in case you haven't definitely give them a whirl! I especially recommend the album Transgender Dysphoria Blues

Bad Cop/Bad Cop - All woman punk band that I enjoy quite a bit they're album Warriors was my shit back when i was 20

Ramshackle Glory/Pat the Bunny - If you like folk punk you've probably heard them but if you havent I say give them a whirl. I prefer Ramshackle Glory but since they only released a few things if you want more try Pat the Bunny out since he was one of the members. Their live album Live the Dream is great.

Now for the weirder/far less crowd pleaser-y stuff

Days n Daze - More folk punk! Theyre a lot of fun but folk punk isnt for everyon and Days n Daze isnt for everyone either

Moist - If you want to listen to what the ages of 12-16 sounded like to me you should give Moist a try. Theyre indie canadian grunge and while maybe not the greatest ever have a special place in my heart. I recommend starting with their album Creature.

Heilung - How does one describe Heilung... they're basically just dark viking music with heavy pagan elements. They're whole goal is to make music that sounds like you're back in time during a pagan ritual and it works great. Also because theyre a band with that as a descriptor i should say they've explicitly told white supremacists in their audience their music wasn't for them.

Also here's an added bonus of a link to my top 100 on Spotify from last year, there's a lot of random shit in it so who knows if you'll find something you like or not

#long post

[joysmileyay]

today was really rough. as it always is when its time for school. i walked past someone today. they didnt see me or anything. they were in my anthropology class and we sat next toe ach other sometimes and we texted a little bit and said we should hang out and i tried to make that happen but then we just never did and then class was over and they never texted me again so i never bothered with it. so it really stung walking past them because its just another reminder that ive been in college 2 and a half years now and havent made a single friend. and at some point it was not for lack of effort. like ive tried. its like. i cant be mad or upset with myself because its not my fault is it? and i cant even be upset with that person either because well i recognize that theyre a very busy person and sometimes you just dont have room for another friend in your life. i mean shit just the other day one of a few people i know irl asked to hang out with me. we met up the other week. i decided i wouldnt have the energy to do this again, that i just wasnt really enthusiastic about them and like... i dont smoke weed and she and her friends do sooooo what would i even do. anyway i basically said yeah we arent gonna hang out again bye. and its like who am i to do that when im apparently soooo desperate for friends? i dont know. but the point is like i said if someone doesnt have the time or energy for me i get it. so i cant be mad at them, i cant be mad at myself. who the fuck am i supposed to be mad at about how lonely i am? also i cant stop thinking about how much i hate that im male because in my major seriously like 99% of the people are girls. and outside of that i generally am not interested in being friends with guys. like there are very few guys who i would approach purposefully and pretty much theyd have to be like me. and im not really a guy am i? like they have to be gay or bisexual or nonbinary or something and honestly just being gay usually isnt enough. anyway point is i hate that, outwardly at least, im a guy because i feel like the people i try to at the very least make small talk with or be friends with think im hitting on them. and its not like i fucking blame them. we all know how guys are. but beyond that it just feels like theres this barrier between me and the people who id look for companionship in just because i was born with a dick and it fucking huuuuurts dude. i feel like id have such an easier time connecting with these people if i was a woman. its so alienating and it fucking sucks. i mean deep down i basically am a woman or at least not a guy and they just cant see that. and i dont think transitioning would make that any better especially down here lol that person i was talking about is nonbinary so it hurts even more that we just didnt actually become friends because i felt so close to meeting someone who understands and then it just didnt work out. kinda feel like a caged animal that had a carrot dangled in front of it lolz! thanks for letting me whine

[love-nakamura]

Hi

For the character ask game, Percy Jackson numbers 4 and 18?

first of all HI FRIEND<33 thank you for asking you are so brave and amazing and I love you

[so the thing about Percy is 1. I love him and 2. I havent read the source material in.... Years.. but I shall answer most honestly]

4: If I could put Percy in any other media where would I put him?

a) technically he does have 2 movies hes in a TV show now my baby!!!!!!

b) actually I think this question is asking if I could put him in another world maybe..?

If so, with the pre-requisit he travels with Annabeth, I would honestly love to see him in a Brandon Sanderson universe, specifically the Reckoners series. I think it would be interesting to see him fight other People with 'powers' rather than gods/non humans.

All of the Percy Jackson series in my head always has people fighting for causes that are blamed on a higher power or another group/being (eg. the fights, although against another demigods, are people who side with demigods vs people who side with gods, titans, monsters, etc. to fulfill human desires/pride... yet at the same time these guys are being manipulated by others... ) and I would love to see him navigate slightly more human-blamed causes and issues!!

Also he would just be so cool and strong!!!!! hahah

18) A relationship Percy has in canon that I admire

all of them m...... Percy has great chemistry with Everyone, but two more specifically:

a) Grover. I think theres so much missed potential tbh in the series as time goes on. Grover is like a full ass adult but theyre also best friends. technically Grover lied by omission to percy for like the start and basis of their friendship but also they have an emotional and mental bond that connects them for life. they have saved each others lives a hundred times over. theyre brothers. also theyre stupid.

I think Grover must have felt a lot of like.. fakeness? Imposter syndrome? at first because dude hes basically a spy whos in charge of taking care of this kid, specifically a kid who reminds you a lot about a kid he Failed before.... and yet Percy forgives him and loves him and the fact that hes a half goat and an adult is like hey whatever since we're friends

It speaks a lot about Percy's character (and his loyalty) to me and also if you've read the other series you'll know Grover doesn't really go on quests anymore/show up a lot and yet their love for each other is still there and hey thats what friendship is yeah?

b) Nico. AHHH NICO *ahem* anyways. I Love Percy and Nicos relationship. one sided crush, percy is So Cool and like the Awesome Older Guy™ you know whose like..??? everything to you?? and also you're Gay and Percy freaking Hurt you and you feel like he was Wrong and Broke a Promise to you but you also realize as you grow older that guy is Literally Just A Guy™ and a Child at that.. and for Percy like.... this kid who looks up to you and hey this is actually like..? the First time in your life where someone explicitly states they think youre cool and a good role model and that Pressure!! and you feel that responsibility but also youre like 14????

and then later when you both get older you realize that the other person is so much more than you can ever see or understand and the portrait you had of them in your head barely scratches the surface and thats a Good thing because it means that people are so much greater than you knew and your past does not define you and moving on from something doesnt mean you dont love it anymore

I think Percy and Nico's relationship is admirable because theres so much forgiveness (both for each other and for themselves as they navigate what it means to have/make/maintain relationships with people that you've never experienced before) and thats beautiful to me.

this was Super Fun and I hope you have a wonderful day muah <3333

#me #pjo #ask game #THANK YOU THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN #I honestly didnt realize I had this many thoughts but like #I loved this #hope the answers were not too long or boring!!!!

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

no minorrrss please, 18+ coz thats in my BLOG RULES thank youu

Okay here's a huge essay on why five nights at freddy's is very successful and works for me / has become popular. big inconsistent text dump to my friend in discord that i figured i should post. and ive already done so many essays so i dont want to clean this up coz im tired and my head hurts but im SO FUCKING INVESTED in fnaf right now. ok. the autism

many paragraph thoughts under the cut

Anyways. It’s obvious to me how FNAF was successful as a thing because A. it was VERY new when it came out and that was already working its favor. but why did THAT keep going to like 6 or 7 and counting games?? it’s coz B. the writing is??? good??? it balances horror and humor VERY well which is extremely important to make horror Approachable and accessible to a lot of people.

balancing horror and humor like that makes it so the game is not 24/7 stress, showing that it knows how to pace itself really well. i think the pacing is really well done in fnaf. to me, even tho the lore is mid because i like it better simpler, the way the lore ties in together across all of the games up until the pizzeria simulator AND keeps the vibes across all games AND tries new things with each game (some more successful than others) i think works VERY well in fnafs favor

like it was very well paced and very well tied together even though shit was made up as you go. ie scott (the creator) pulled that lore out of his ass. he only had the basic base level storyline there, but later iterations of it were added on later

unlike, for example, homestuck which is the same type of thing (made up as you go) but too much and too overwhelming. homestuck is its own big thing that like. changed a lot and was really groundbreaking for being new, but it went off the deep end and tried to be Too much. which honestly i think is similar with fnaf.

HOWEVER. even in security breach where it’s too much at once and just falls apart coz it was TOO ambitious, that story and that pacing is still??? there?? and the humor and the general tone of the whole thing is EXTREMELY consistent throughout the whole series and that’s really what makes it effective for me and why im still invested in this even like six games later

like the vibes stay the same. they dont really stray TOO much. and i think its great how Scott (the creator) tried different things in each game and each game is some iteration of the previous. some work better than others. but the tone is consistent (the humor and horror balance and pace out very well), and the vibes are consistent (the aesthetic remains similar throughout), and the pacing and the way the story and lore is hidden throughout everything is consistent. and i think because of that because it STICKS TRUE TO ITSELF it’s remained an extremely popular and successful franchise like i said. even in security breach. which is a complete wreck of a project. the lore and shit is still consistent in there (you just have a WAY harder time getting to it because everything else wasn’t optimized), and the pacing is consistent

and like i think also even when the story is done and finished. and it’s like oh just let the franchise die. let it be over. the games still remain successful to me coz of the consistency. you could’ve ended the story there, yes, but you didn’t, you kept adding lore. however you added lore in such a way that was consistent to the way lore was added in the beginning, and you kept your tone and your vibes and your pacing consistent, so any new lore even though pulled out of one’s ass / thin air still fits in completely with the franchise, unlike the way homestuck did it with the epilogues.

ok theyre also just really funny to me. theres this sorta dark humor in there and corporate failure shit going on thats just funny to me actually. i havent really found things this funny in like. a long time in media fr

#thats all #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #is there a tag. #for like??? info? lore?? thoughts??? reviews??? #review #do i need more to add to this. iunno #my writing #i think

[egotisticalmachine]

its very strange looking back at my childhood and seeing how it affects me in the present day. i was placed on a pedestal above my peers, so it was hard to feel like an equal to any of them, subconsciously. i moved houses constantly, so i came to expect that my friendships would be brief, and i didnt get to develop the ability to form deep lasting connections. at first i had to deal with the pain of being ripped away from my friends, but then i learned to view all my friendships as temporary from the very start. i didnt expect any of them to last. even once my family settled down for a while, and i had the means to stay in contact with friends who went to different schools from me, i must have already missed that critical window of development. and then i moved some more. only now in my early 20s have i started to possibly, maybe put down roots in a location, and even that feels uncertain. i do think all that moving around had a part in my development of NPD, specifically in the way my interpersonal relationships tend to be shallower than they should be. they can still be very intense, but thats heavily influenced by how much attention the other person gives me - and especially when one person gives me much more attention than everyone else, its far too easy for me to ignore everyone but them, just seeking that attention. and in the end i still tend to discard people more easily than other people are able to do so. i think its been a very self-focused approach to interpersonal relationships, but i literally didnt get the chance to learn any other way to build relationships. being selfish has been a survival mechanism to avoid the pain of how many people ive been separated from. its been protecting me from a lot of pain.

i think that all is leading me to treasure these recent friendships even more, though. i havent known any connections like these, but now i have people in my life who im learning the intricacies of, who are learning the intricacies of me. they know me far better than most people do, because they made it very very very abundantly clear that they were safe people to be open with. they give me hope for humanity. i care enough to notice the details about them that make them unique, beyond the surface. i notice when theyve been gone and worry about them, and i dont think its just because i miss their attention, but because of the people they are. they give me a lot of hope for humanity and for the future and for myself. they help remind me that im a human being like the rest of them, and they make me feel cared about, in their own unique ways of expressing care. they are incredibly fucking important to me, to the point that im tearing up a little typing this. i dont want to lose them. theyre my people, my safe people, my family, my loved ones, my friends. with some of them it feels like losing them would be akin to having a limb hacked off. with others, that closeness is still developing, but it feels like theyre getting to that point as well. i dont feel that way about most people. i dont usually care this much. i am very grateful to care this much - its scary, but im so glad. honestly i dont know how i ended up so lucky that i managed to meet them all, or what i could have possibly done to deserve them, but im not going to argue.

[qualityempathshoebear]

Obsession Session (As promised)

Ok so let me show you how delusional i am by telling you as much as i can remember about the boy. Ill call him ceaser salad for now. So basically, me, him, and my friend from sociology talked and laughed, and even played heads and tails together. Once the open-evening was over he headed out before us, and me and my friend went to say bye to our teacher. My friend got picked up by her dad and I decided to go to my busstop down in town, I passed by the busstop closest to the school and figured I would get on the bus to take me to town rather than walking down, but for some reason I decided to not get on the bus. I dont know if it was because I had seen ceaser salad in front of me or because i simply didnt feel like it. But the point is that i didnt get on the bus. I walked up to him instead. We stood next to eachother at the crossing stop light and waited for the sign to turn green. Two girls came up behind us and i used it as an excuse to turn my head and pretend like I had just noticed him standing there.

We gave eachother weird looks and then he began talking to me, or maybe i did to him? I cant remember. Regardless, we were talking. He poked fun at my accent any chance he got, told me I was smart, and even made fun of me for waiting on green lights before crossing the road (as if he hadnt stood and waited there himself; which makes the delusional side of my brain think he was waiting for me). We talked about movies and i told him about how scary movies were my favourite. I feel like he was constantly fliring with me, but i dont know if im just delusional. When we got to another road crossing thingy (I have no clue what theyre cllaed) I told him to "click the button" so we could cross, to which he stopped in his tracks in front of it and said "what do you say after that?". It took me a moment to realise what he meant so we said "please" at the same time. He then clicked the button and said "there are your manners". I just responded with scoffed chuckle. THAT SURE FEELS LIKE FLIRTING TO ME. We then walked for a while longer and he asked if i drank, I told him "not really" and asked if he did, he said he drinks but only on "special occasions", whatever that means. I asked if he vaped, he said he didnt, and i told him i would have bullied him if he did. We then saw the aftermath of a car crashing into a pole by mcdonalds, and I said "thats what happens when you dont wait for the light to turn green before crossing" he then very sheepishly responded "no, thats what happens when you cant fucking drive". He then stopped by the scene because he said he was planning on "being nosy" to which i obviously scolded him for inserting himself into peoples car-crashes. He asked if i was turning left, I said yes. I waved bye to him, although im not sure if he did the same, and then we parted ways. I only then realised I hadnt gotten his socials, but I feel like he would have asked me if he wanted mine. To be fair, if he had asked me after we parted, i wouldnt have been able to hear him over the noise. I havent been able to get him out of my head and its honestly ruining my mood, because I know ill probably never see him on camous again and even if i did i doubt hed talk to me or is even thinking of this encounter the way I am. I feel like he maybe just has a flirty personality because he was kind of like that when we were hanging out with my friend. Ugh I just need to forget about him, but I honestly hope he lowkey is thinking about me too. I wasnt wearing any makeup (not even mascara), and my hair was fucked and matted, there is just no way he actually likes me. UGHHH this is so annoying. Anyways ill end this here because ill just hate myself if i keep thinking about this, plus ive got exams coming up i cant be thinking about this. Byeeee.

[jjhyn]

just follow my lead

pairing: johnny suh x reader

genre: slice of life, angst? im so bad at these

plot: you find yourself alone with johnny in his room at a party

warning: slight nsfw, drugs and drinking, reader is peer pressured to smoke 

notes: this is a very similar situation to something that happened with me and my ex, i promise nothing crazy happens! pls enjoy! and if you find any typos or have feedback pls lmk!

mentions: mark and jaehyun

words: 1876

a few moments ago you were contemplating going to this party your best friend invited you to. your best friend mark is a 3 year frat member in neo kappa. the two of you are like two peas in a pod, but completely different from each other. mark is a ball of sunshine, making friends left and right, the ultimate life of the party. you, however, are the opposite. a bit more reserved and tend to keep to yourself, mark is truly what could bring you out of your shell. hes been trying to convince you to go to his frats party all week because the two of you had just finished midterms and he thinks you need to get shitfaced this weekend to release some steam. 

so here you are now, outside marks frat house trying to get in contact with him so he could come get you at the door so you dont have to awkwardly wander around the house and potentially run into someone you dont want to. you had been standing outside for a couple minutes and havent heard back from mark so you decide you were just going to take a breathe and just walk in. as youre approaching the door and reaching for the door knob, someone opens the door and you meet face to face with the one person you didnt want to run into. your ex, jaehyun. “woah. yn, what are you doing here?” he says halting his steps as he almost runs into you while youre trying to enter the house. 

youre just as shocked as he is when he asks you the question, because honestly, why were you there? “um, mark invited me, is he in there?” you ask. jaehyun grabs his phone to seemingly check the time and he shoves it back in his pocket. “yeah, he is. let me walk you to him” he says. “oh, you dont have to do that, its fine.” you respond and he just looks at you before you sigh and follow him into the house. youre walking through the familiar frat house, being reminded of all the times you awkwardly exited the house after a night with jaehyun, cringing at the memory. 

jaehyun leads you to the basement where youre greeted with partygoers cheering and a game of beer pong. you spot mark drinking from a red solo cup in defeat and he returns the gaze when he finishes his cup. “yo! yn! i didnt think youd come!” he yells as he waves you over into a hug. “yeah, i thought id come, i didnt have anything better to do.” you confessed to him as you separate from your hug. “aye, jae i thought you were stepping out real quick?” a voice from the other side of the room asks and you shift your head to see who the voice is coming from. johnny suh, 2nd in command and VP in Neo Kappa. “nah, i decided not to” jaehyun responds and mark scoffs at him, “bro, you just decided to stay because yn showed up and youre still down bad for her just say that” mark says jokingly but deep down he and you know its true. “yeah, yeah. whatever. anyone wanna smoke?” jaehyun asks to change the subject. a few nods and “yeahs” are thrown around in agreement. mark asks, “you tryna smoke?”. you quickly contemplate your answer and decline but tell him you’re going to grab a drink and meet them out back where theyre planning to smoke. 

you enter the kitchen and grab a drink but not before you take a deep breathe. you didnt realize how much seeing your ex would affect you even though it has been almost half a year since you broke it off. you and mark never really say it out loud so him calling out jaehyun for still having feelings for you was a little jarring. you find your way to the frats backyard and see them sitting around a small bonfire, mark sitting on a lawn chair. you approach him and he asks if you want to sit in the chair hes in but you just shake your hard, opting to stand next to him. you take a sip of your drink when a tall figure approaches you with a chair, “here, have a seat” johnny says with a smile. you quietly thank him and move the chair closer to mark, turning your head away from the crowd to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. 

everyones been passing the joint around and youve breathed in enough smoke to get slightly high. you close your eyes and shake your head slightly, trying to rid your head of this unfamiliar feeling when jaehyun notices you. “yn, you wanna hit?” he asks. you look at him for a moment before just shaking your head. “oh come on, its just some weed. youre not scared are you?” jaehyun responds and at this point hes getting on your nerves. you dont know if its a combination of the alcohol and the weed in the air or the anger getting to you but you just stand up and walk towards him. everyones eyes on you, waiting to see what youre about to do but you just grab the joint out of jaehyuns hands which shocks him, making him flinch. you take a lengthy puff out of the joint before blowing it back into jaehyuns face. when the smoke clears from obstructing your vision of jaehyuns face, hes got a smug smile on his face. you scoff and toss the joint into his lap and storm back into the house. this makes me panic as the joint was still lit, he hurriedly picks it up from his lap and dusts off the ash from his clothes. 

mark watched this go down and stands up to go after you but johnny stops him and just gives him a look, somehow letting mark know that he would take care of it. mark watches as johnny follows you and turns back around walks over to jaehyun asking him why he would do that. 

as youre walking back into the house, you have no idea where to go, you couldnt go home because you were too under the influence to drive and your apartment was way too far to walk. you find yourself walking up the stairs and passing by jaehyuns room. you give his bedroom door a kick but whip your head towards the stairwell when you hear a laugh. johnny is halfway up the stairs when he sees you kick the door and he laughs. “what?” you angrily ask. he laughs, “i know you wanted to kick jaehyuns room but he moved to that room.” he explains while pointing to a room a couple doors down. you huff and walk over to the door johnny pointed to and you kick it harder than you kicked the other door. “did that feel good?” he asks. you look at him before sighing, “god, jaehyun is such an ass.” johnny makes his way over to you, grabbing your hand and guides you to his room. you dont put up much resistance because for some reason, johnny made you feel safe even though this was your first real interaction with him. you had known him since mark joined the frat your freshmen year but never got the chance to talk to him. 

the two of you enter johnnys room and your met with a warm smell. hints of vanilla and oak. you look around a bit as johnny walks over to his bed and pulls something from under it. you watch him from the door and he invites you over to sit with him on the floor with slight nod. you walk over and sit across from him on the floor. “jaehyun is an ass. i dont know what you saw in him” he says, breaking the silence. he notices you dont respond so he looks up and sees you looking down, fiddling with the hem of your skirt. he inserts his hand with a joint in it into your line of vision and you look up with a confused look. “i know you probably dont really smoke and by the way you reacted to jaehyun forcing you to smoke, i thought i could give you a lesson.” he explains. “a lesson? like on..” you start before he finishes your question, “like on smoking, yeah” he says with a bright smile. this makes you blush, “i dont know, yeah i dont smoke but he was making me so angry i just wanted him to shut up. literally how most of our relationship was.” you confess. “dont worry, i wont force you to if you dont want, but i will say im a good teacher, i did teach mark” johnny says in a slight bragging voice. this makes the two of you laugh and johnny realizes how pretty you are, especially when you smile. 

“okay, fine. professor johnny, what do i do?” you ask while grabbing the joint from his hand. “woah, slow down. dont get too ahead of yourself pothead” johnny says after you snatch the joint from his hand. the two of you are laughing for a moment before he holds your hand in his and puts the joint to his lips, giving it a light with his other hand holding the lighter. youre just staring into his eyes as he lights the joint, breathing in, and holding it in lungs, before slowly breathing out. “just like that.” he says without breaking eye contact. you open your mouth to respond but nothing seems to come out. he notices your hesitance and says, “here, just follow my lead.” hes still holding your hand that holds the joint when he brings it to his lips and takes another puff. he uses his other hand to bring himself closer to you and softly holds your chin open and he slowly blows the smoke into your mouth. when hes released the smoke from his mouth into yours, he says, “breathe in. slowly.” and you follow orders. “good, just like that. now slowly breathe out.” and you do exactly that. the smoke clouding your vision of his face and when the smoke fades you see johnnys face, a lot closer than it did before with a smile that made you realize how handsome he was. “see, youre a natural” he compliments you and youre brought back to reality, blinking yourself out of a daze. “no, youre just a good teacher.” you tell him and he chuckles, sitting back down. “i told you im a good teacher” he smiles at you. a sudden wave of confidence whelms you and you crawl towards johnny and sit on his lap. you take a hit from the joint and connect your lips with his. his hands find themselves holding onto your waist and you grab onto his neck as he deepens the kiss. when the two of you separate, johnny breathes out and releases the smoke into your face, making you giggle. needless to say, you spent the rest of the night in johnnys room, getting to know each other, getting high, kissing, and just following his lead. 

copyright 2023 - present © jjhyn all rights reserved

all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.

#nct #nct johnny #nct au #nct fic #kpop #kpop fic #kpop au #johnny #johnny suh #nct kpop #nct 127 #nct mark #nct jaehyun #mark #jaehyun #neo culture technology #kpop writing #kpop imagine #nct imagine

[harvestmoth]

can you uh. explain ashkuyo to me?

you dont need to respond if you dont feel like it! I'm just curious as to where it comes from. since i dont really see it anywhere

like, do they have any canon interactions? or is it just a vibes thing?

i haven't consumed any ashley related content btw. so i dont know too much about her. really the only thing I've seen involving her is kushu's mgs

thank you for asking, id be happy to explain it!

as far as i know there arent. actually any canon interactions between them, maybe in the summer kuroe event? but i havent read it, i just know they both appear in it, and this thing started way before that i think

uh. honestly it just came from a random thought, like, wouldnt it be cool if the amanes actually. talked to other people. wouldnt it be neat if they had more, different character interactions. and then i remembered ashley and tsukasa go to the same school, then i got the idea for the two of them to be school friends? idk, i just thought they might get along, and with how theyre both connected to riko.

then something something i thought itd be funny if tsukasa introduced her to tsukuyo and i think it spiraled out from there, absolutely no idea what happened, it was a joke at first, a bit if you will. it is no longer a joke and i think ive gone insane

#sorry im not good at explaining things but the tldr is that im insane and theyve never interacted once #thank you very much for asking though! i just think its neat when characters who normally would never meet get along with one another #that and i just find both of them really interesting and i wish they showed up more just in general #put ashley in more things !! let the twins appear without always having the other around!! #anon #ashkuyo

[axellis-archv-2]

So=^_^= what kind of wedding do you think ramattra would like (a good question from your friend roulette who wants to know out of the goodness of rads heart 🐈‍⬛)

wow hi roulette um thats so crazy wow *explodes you

this started turning out really long so im putting it in a readmore dont think abt it . i mean what readmore. dont click that .

i guess . ok i guess IF WE WERE EVER TO (WHICH WE WOULDNT!!!) i think hed . ok...hes like. very dramatic you can glean that from any interaction he's ever had so i think part of him would want to do this crazy intricately planned extravaganza. but also another part of him is definitely aware that all i would ever really want is just a nice get together with the people i care about . and part of him also really wants it too. bc while hes dramatic he can be a fairly reserved person as well.

so it probably compromises into renting out a place (maybe one w a nice view...i went to a wedding once that was at a winery it was very nice scenic wise) && then he would go In on trying to figure out the floor plan & decorations and stuff like that and i would like . watch . and tell him not to tell whoever hes ordering cupcakes from that this isnt a wedding otherwise we'd get upcharged to hell .

hes not with the Sh.ambali anymore but part of me wonders if he keeps anything from them around. theyre based in Nepal so they have both Hindu & Buddhist cultures . ((which upon doing some Googling(tm) i did find out abt kusha rings (theyre grass rings you have to exchange first before the real ones) and i . find it very sweet .)) the Sh.ambali is like...technically supposed to be its own thing so i dont think thered be any outright exacts when it comes to weddings. but i think there would definitely be some bleed-through just from the event of them just living and being in Nepal.

we havent seen any o.mnic centric weddings in o.vw yet and i WOULD LIKE TO!! we get to see a funeral and we've been told over & over that o.mnics are considered as One Generation. and a generation that can feel when one of them dies at that. so i think they would have at least something special kind of in mind. that && the Sh.ambalis general message being about being together in harmony makes me feel theyd have something to kind of thing to welcome someone as if theyre one with them. or something.

in fact one little fun ov.erwatch fact is that the Sh.ambali really like to use food as a way to "spread peace & empathy to those they pass" so if maybe only subconsciously i think he would do the same. which is great for me because i love food!!!!!!!!!!

this is definitely also like. a Me thing but i think hed probably do something like..like hes purple and im red i think hed go crazy with some kind of. purple sunset vibe of colors around.

honestly could not tell you what he would want to wear i think if he had a suit id explode but also itd be the most normal thing to wear anyways that if he did anything different id explode harder . you know? except you dont know . i didnt say that . who said that?

#ask #bug/courier #i . quite literally hope you explode this is so much googling and i had to look at outfits and think abt all of this i ahte you #🎆 ramattrα #lord . lord . lord .

[stuckinapril]

hello ! ive noticed people coming here to vent/ask for advice so hopefully its alright for me to join in on that ?

so i kind of got absorbed into a friend group a few years ago (they all already new each other, i was new to the school) and ended up dating one of the guys in it for a bit. we never like officially broke up, things just kind of faded out and we eventually stopped talking and after that i stopped talking to the rest of the group too - this was over a year ago at this point. but we all still followed each other on social media and stuff and i was still in the group chat - i muted it after a while but i would check it occasionally just to see what they were up to. recently i had been thinking about leaving it since i never talked to them but i kept putting it off or forgetting and i just went to check it the other day and noticed that they kicked me out of it. its just gone.

and i feel bad for being upset about it because like it makes sense for them to not want me there i havent spoken to them in well over a year, and theyre all really good friends im just the random person that showed up one day and then disappeared. i was never that close with any of them, and i dont have any interest in trying to get back with the guy i dated. i was thinking about leaving anyway. i guess its just like..the finality of it i guess. they dont want me there anymore. thats it.

i dont really know what my point is here honestly, i guess this is just more of a vent really. if you know of a way to stop thinking about this kind of situation and move on that would be appreciated, but thank you for allowing people to vent here either way. i hope youre having a good day/night

tbh i think this is an ego thing. you would have been fine cutting ties w them if you were the one to leave the group chat, but now that they made that decision for you, it's a hard thing to accept. ask yourself why you truly feel this way. maybe some of it is the nostalgia factor--you want to be connected to them somehow--but the bigger thing here is you probably didn't like the fact that they didn't value you enough to keep you around.

when you don't have a lot of confidence in yourself, every little thing can be a blow to your ego. i'm saying this bc i definitely was that person. if what you described happened to me like a year or two ago, it would have bothered the fuck out of me. but not me today haha. i would literally just be like "oh that's weird" and then move on w my life, bc i don't need these people's validation to know i'm a great friend to have, and that i have a lot to offer. you guys just drifted apart. they probably saw no point to you staying. the connection isn't close enough for them to care either way. remind yourself that there are 7 billion people in this world, and you'd be fine wo them. you were fine wo them in the first place. it's a matter of uprooting why this very external thing is affecting your ego to this extent

#ask

[mapsofnonexistentplacesremade]

my brain is particularly gripped by somsak IDK why but i love him so much and his keytar we need to bring those back. but if you have any brainthoughts about him i'd love to hear them!! also ik the relationship section on his toyhouse page is a wip and idk if that's for like any reason but if you have anything to say about that it'd be cool. smash mouth

SOMSIIIIII honestly he exists in such a weird state because i built him up to be a pretty important character really early on and then my brain got distracted by all the other guys i made up.... i need to think about him more and maybe actually working on his page would help LOL

right now he's kind of just sitting in the story as a weird 'absence' character which i do find fun but yknow it means he doesnt really do much. in my minds eye hes just like cool skater kid from a prog ska band who says swear words all the time. theres more to him but i havent been able to put it into words yet....

rest got long so

honestly the relationships part is probably the most interesting. at least so far. the person he's technically closest to is ulises because she's the one who basically revived him and yknow. she feels this kind of responsibility for him and checks in with him to make sure he's ok. somsak thinks he's too cool to ever confront his emotions and likes to stay aloof but deep down he REALLY appreciates ulises' concern.... i think soms is kind of aware that nobody on the train really likes or respects him and though he knows he kind of does it to himself hes at least glad Someone cares about his existence at all. also thinking about it theyd both bond over music they like the same kind of tunes :+) ulises is like his cool prog rock uncle

he also has this with beatrix. having been the person to save him from falling into fornax. but its to a lesser extent just because beatrix is way sharper and untrusting themself so their relationship basically amounts to like. theyre both walking around the train and see one another. silently walk up to one another maintaining full eye contact. beatrix asks in a jovial yet stilted tone "have you fallen into any more dimensional holes as of late" as like the worlds funniest joke. somsak answers "at least 12" plays a haunting riff on his keytar and runs away. they dont talk for another month

uhhhh next thing doesnt really count as a 'relationship' i just think its an interesting character thing i wanna bring up real quick. demeter doesnt like him because he stirs up memories of míra most unpleasantly. obviously they dont say it aloud and its less of a "why do you get to live when she didnt" thing and more of a "wow every time i look at this guy i wonder how my whole life would've changed if míra had survived too" so its just like. wah. they're cold to him :+(

notably hes friends with freya kind of. they both like to cause mischief and will like. very quickly catch on and support one anothers jokes its like epitome of doing a bit with some stranger and just getting the yes/and in sync completely somehow. sometimes freya finds him very annoying and gets kind of rude but that shit flies over soms head completely and he doesnt care

i think his connection with dalisay also works in a similar manner but unlike freya dalisay speaks far more earnestly and its more of like. bouncing off of a straight man sort of improv between them. somsak just finds hir monotony brilliant honestly

somsak kind of admires olzhas and isel and like. has a weird respect for the both of them LOL he tones himself down around them which baffles olja especially. hes just like hey these guys came to the train and found a better life aboard just like i did!!!! fuck yes!!!!!!! theyre cool im also cool!!!!!! he also thinks theyre both just cool looking. transmasc swag forever

what else. have some quotes about him from like typed up relationship charts i made a few months back. theyre the funniest ones

#my ocs #ccs.text #ccsimulacrum

[naturalbornkillass]

delayed post from 07/10/22 - A weird week: still depressed // might need to get the “hottest girl in rehab” sweatshirt. // modern feminism // why am i attracted to older men i dont even ducking have daddy issues

The last part happened today but i’ll include it into my evenfully unevenful week

i’ve been ridiculously depressed and irritable this week. i havent touched my prescripted medicine and i probably should. i’m in no way getting better.

During the 4th of july, i got into a hugeeee argument with my dad and i ended up staying home and playing roblox w my friends. it was kinda fun, then it all hit me. I’m at home during the 4th of july, doing absolutely nothing. I was bored and depressed. I HAD NOTHING TO DO!! So I ordered some food from grubhub and it made me feel better for a little bit. Then it hit me again. I'm getting fomo. How can i celebrate the 4th. of july? and listen I’m not the most patriotic citizen, and to be honest, i’m not big on independence day. although I am big on the celebrations itself, whether or not i really give a fuck about the reason of the celebration .

i decided to try lsd for the first time, and it was def the most sensational type of high i’ve ever experienced. especially bc it was laced with some other strong ass shit, which i didn't really know until i got tested positive for other stuff. I didn't rly mind tho, i had a good time regardless. My therapist was not happy ofc, so they actually told me that they may have to send me to a 30 day rehabilitation program if things don’t improve within the next week. It’s either that, or I have to stay at a psych ward for 7 days minimum, which isnt as bad, given that it’s so easy to trick them into thinking that you’re doing well within the span of a week. But either way, i’ll be stripped away from any sort of communication with all of you. unless i can memorize all of your number. not tryna do all that.

I'm against it, obviously. I’m functioning! I should be fine.

The reason why i’m not making such a big deal out of this is bc I’m not being too irresponsible with everything. Honestly i really do believe that they’re just trying to profit off of me. No one really knows what to do in those places. None of the staff members really know what they were getting themselves into. If you’re there for the money, why cant you at least try to put some effort on the shit tht you were supposed to do?

if i do end up in one in the future, best believe i’m pulling up in the corniest fit ever

but fr tho i actually have to start putting some effort because i’m not trying to go to some goddamn facility. I have many plans for this summer and living in a place w a bunch of druggiez isnt my thing. if all fails, i hope to be grouped with cool people.

i met someone on roblox, which i’ve spent a few hours with….at night. it was fun okay, and im not for edating, but this is entertaining for me. i wonder how many ppl he’s groomed online. better yet, i wonder how many people get groomed on roblox??? He’s 21 btw i forgot to mention, and yeah he does sound like it. Thats all i can say tho.

The thing is, you’ll never know if your the groomer or the groomee. Edating is so funny to me despite the times that i’ve attempted to do so. I got out of that phase towards the beginning(-ish?) of 9th grade. After that, I’ve just started fishing for some creepy pedos online and i tried to see if i can get money off of them. I found many, but they all wanted my fucking face to be in pictures/videos and they wanted to be able to hear my voice and such, like how desperate can you be? Theyre all really fucking pathetic and it just pissed me off seeing people live like that. Discord users are really something else……..

just dont edate. It's that easy.

One thing that I have noticed is that I kinda have a problem with older men. Why am I writing about this online rather than telling a professional about this? Idk but I just felt like it needs to be talked about. No, I don't have daddy issues, which proves that it's only a common stereotype. Women have such a great amount of power, simply just by existing. Next thing you know, you've hypnotized them into throwing their cash onto you.

#naturalbornkillascore