#i think this is one of the few that ill actually hand in late bc i have plans set up for most of the other prompts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonshynecybin · 1 month

Note

Can't decide on a specific scene but i'll take anything you have to say about i'll meet judgement by the hounds bc at this point i have re-read it so many times ...

the thing about ill meet judgement by the hounds is that literally no concrete planning went into writing that thing. i was up against a deadline for a grad school assignment i was procrastinating like NOBODY'S BUSINESS had two panic attacks that week (unrelated to school!!) and then flew to bath with my roommate spur of the moment. posted that ch2 late at night zooted on my anxiety meds and and woke up to some LOVELY messages that i read on a bus when i was pulling away from the airport. insane experience. i didnt even want to give it a chapter two right away i was like IM BUSY. and then i wrote it immediately.

BUT to actually talk about the fic. like you asked <3. i actually had this idea that i wanted to follow marc's pov (at that point i had only written vale) and get inside his insane headspace leading up to his arm surgery and then be like. wouldnt it be crazy if vale was there and wanted to reconcile a bit but he was also kind of avoiding SAYING THAT. wouldnt that make marc feel EVEN CRAZIER. marc marquez saw trap simulator. inside you there are two wounds one is valentino rossi and the other is your fucked up arm. anddddd 2022 seemed like the ideal place for a rosquez reunion to me! like. dramaturgically. marc is on the brink. vale has just retired (easy to get a reason for him to have an epiphany regarding marc, made even easier bc marc pov means i never have to explain it in depth !)

and the thing about this fic is that it was supposed to be. A LOT longer. go race by race until his surgery and have them talk a lot more. change a little more gradually. but uh. ive already said my life was insane at that time and i got excited and fucking SENT that badboy. (again. i was lightly tranquilized.) which i think MOSTLY makes it better but the pacing is still little wacky. anyways i do think of the scene i cut where marc talks to alex all the time but i think i also fully deleted it! dont write fic under the influence! i also cut a BIG scene of them at the french GP where vale brings marc a sandwich and makes him eat it. it should also be noted that i was doing SO much journalism research about this period and i found a bunch of WILD quotes from marc that i compiled into a small insane vision board of them to ground my fic in his crazy way of conceptualizing his life. that i apparently also deleted while zen-ed out. so

more stupid behind the scenes under the cut

actual plot summary (my "outline") that i wrote out at the top of my google doc complete with typo:

Thinking about how absolutely distressing it would be for Marc pre surgery or right after if Vale tried to reconcile. Early 2022 before surgery decision and post Vale retirement

Scenes of Vale like. earnestl y talking to him. Marc represses a panic attack every time. race by race?

and here's what i had written for aragon, which is full of lines i just thought of with NO context or structure like this part would NOT take off the ground. you might notice some of them get repurposed later in the fic:

III. French GP, 2022. P6.

Marc’s still not out of the habit of reaching for him, apparently. He looks— God. Marc’s head hurts just looking at him. He could swear he has defenses from this, from how Marc can feel where he is in every room they’re in together. He guesses somewhere in the last few weeks he’s lost them, again. Just another thing he used to be good at.

despite everything, Marc can feel himself relax, with Vale here. The warm heat of him sharing space. He used to feel like this all the time. Vale to his left. His arm, casual and pain free, on his right. Now he's scarred all the way down both sides.

He remembers when he was a kid and he met Vale. How he had winked at Marc and said, I'll look out for you, cradling the toy car that Marc had brought specifically to give to him in his hands. How Marc had turned it over in his brain for years. I'll look out for you.

Marc bargains with himself

Marc does stupid, stupid things when Vale is in his life. He knows this. Going to the ranch is a bad idea. the press alone, if anyone finds out, would feed the paddock journos for years. It would be stupid— risky

Someone needs to tell him not to race. calm him down. Usually, it’s Álex.

MORE OUTLINE: Vale brings him a sandwich and Marc wants to cry, terrible race. They watch a movie its very Valentino voice lemme take care of you !!! but no talking about their past lmao. maybe arm

Genuinely terrible race. That one stat about alwasy finishing top 5 or crashing. Vale like actually gets him to talk about his arm which gets no where fast (guest alex?) and riding misery begins to reach a tipping point

#ALSO remember doing a lot of research NOT using ALL IN nad then going back when 3/4 of the fic was written to watch it #and all of my inferences about marcs feelings at specific races were pretty correct! and that felt good. like i had a bit of a handle on hi #also the working title of it was BODY KEEPING THE SCORE. i chose the actual title in a fugue state at midnight. its a mitski song.#motogp #callie speaks #asks #my fav part of that outline: maybe arm #like yeah idiot. the fic is about arm.

20 notes · View notes

nanawritesit · 2 years

Text

Taeyeon Scenario: Meeting up after breaking up and getting back together

Anonymous said: “hiii! just saw you write for snsd and i wanted to request something with taeyeon, cause i think there's no much recent content to read of her. i was thinking maybe something with angst but a fluff ending, maybe they are in love but they're on a difficult moment as individuals so they decide on giving up on each other, but in the end they find each other when already healed and everything is beautiful and wholesome”

a/n: oh i totally agree, we need waaayyy more taeyeon content! i feel like it’s definitely gone down in popularity :( but i guess i gotta write it myself 😤 i love this prompt too, angst is actually one of my favorite genres bc i’m mentally ill. i hope you like it 💗💗💗

TW: light cursing, angst but it ends cutely

——————

It was around ten o’clock at night, and you were roaming the city streets exhausted and hungry. You couldn’t be more happy that you finally had your dream job, but you’d be lying if you said the hours weren’t killing you. Still, you were strong and weren’t going to give up anytime soon, you thought to yourself. Finally, you caught a glimpse of your favorite convenience store. It had the best instant ramen and beer, perfect for a late night dinner for one.

You entered the shop, waving to the cashier who knew you as a regular. You headed straight to the aisle with the ramen, but stopped in your tracks as you saw the shelf. It was completely empty!

“Damnit…” you cursed under your breath, shoving your hands in the pockets of your coat. “Guess I’ll have to find something else to eat for dinner.”

“You still haven’t given up on that ramen, huh?” a familiar voice said behind you. You immediately flipped around to see who it was, and your breath hitched in your throat. It was Taeyeon, your ex girlfriend.

She let out a tiny giggle at the look on your face. She couldn’t blame you though. You guys hadn’t seen each other in person since you broke up a few months ago.

Kim Taeyeon was the one that got away. She was your dream girl, and everything about her was perfect. Everything except the timing of your relationship. You both had commitments to your jobs that you felt you had to honor above all else, and it created such a huge distance between you. One day you woke up and felt like strangers, and came to the mutual decision that the two of you weren’t working out. It didn’t make it hurt any less, you were still madly in love with her. You’d had flings since the break up, but no one could ever measure up to her.

“Tae!” you exclaimed finally, shaking your head in disbelief. You reached out to give her a quick hug, which she gladly accepted. You were still on good terms and texted each other from time to time, so it wasn’t too awkward to share the small embrace. “Oh my gosh, how have you been? You look great by the way.”

She giggled, flipping her dark locks over her shoulder. She really did look pretty in her white blouse and two toned jeans. She looked good in everything, but you always loved when she wore simpler clothing because it let her true beauty shine through.

“I’ve been doing well! This last album was actually my best selling one yet, the fans all really liked it.” she blushed.

“I know I did. It was a great album, you should be very proud of that award you got.” you told her.

She smiled and dropped her jaw open dramatically. “You mean you watched the awards show? And you listened to the album too?”

“Well of course! I was there for half the writing process! I had to see it to fruition!” you exclaimed, putting your hands on your hips.

She laughed loudly, and you felt something break inside of you. You realized you missed hearing that noise. You actually missed almost everything about her.

“Well how about you? You were almost done with training when we…” she stopped, trailing off awkwardly from not knowing how to end the sentence.

You gave her a grin and decided to help her out. “When we broke up? Yeah I um… well, I got the job.”

Her mouth dropped open again, this time in genuine surprise. “Oh my gosh Y/N are you serious? That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you! Congratulations!” She leaned in and gave you another hug, this one far warmer and tighter than the last. You squinted your eyes at the feeling of her holding you again, not wanting to indulge in it too much.

You pulled back, clearing your throat awkwardly. “Well, I should get going. I have to figure out what I’m eating for dinner.”

“Hey, I was actually here for the same reason. Would you like to get dinner together? It’d be a nice chance to catch up…” she asked, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. She was looking at you with such a hopeful flint in her eyes, and when you saw her lips curl up in that adorable half smile, you were helpless.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

—————

Now it was around midnight, and you were both at an outdoor food eating fried chicken and drinking beer, which you got from the convenience store two hours ago. It was one of your favorite places to go on dates on the middle of your hectic schedules back when you were together, so you decided to visit it for nostalgia’s sake.

It was so easy to fall back into that same old rhythm with Taeyeon. She was so easy to talk to, so familiar. You knew so much about each other already that things were just so comfortable. There wasn’t any testing of waters or pressure of relationships, it was just enjoyable. You hadn’t even realized that you’d been sitting and talking for so long until you noticed the food stall packing up.

“Oh man, I guess we better get going before they kick us out.” Taeyeon chuckled, pushing in her chair.

You nodded, grabbing your jacket from off the table. “We should. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

“Oh you don’t have to do that!” she reassured you, waving her hand. Maybe it was the beer, but you could’ve sworn you saw a pink blush creeping up her cheeks at the thought.

“It’s okay, I know how much you hate walking alone at night.” you told her. “Besides, I live just a few streets down, we’d be walking the same way anyway.”

She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear before following behind you. “Okay, if you insist.” and smiled.

On the way home, a cold breeze hit you, and you both immediately shuddered. As if on instinct, you untied your jacket from around your waist and t it over her shoulders.

“Y/N…” she chuckled, tucking herself further into it. “You’re making this difficult for me.”

“Making what difficult?” you asked stupidly, shoving your fists in the pockets of your sweatpants.

She rolled her eyes and laughed once more before looking over at you. “Trying to pretend like I’m not still in love with you.”

You expected yourself to give more of a reaction, but for some reason, you just kept on walking, staring at the ground. You couldn’t think of anything to say, so you didn’t say anything. Taeyeon stopped in her tracks, and you turned around to face her.

“What’s wrong?” you asked with a poker face.

“Please tell me you’re not over me.” she demanded, arms clutching her sides desperately. “Please tell me I’m not the only one who still wants us to be together?”

You stood there in shock for a moment, letting your lips part slightly. “Taeyeon, I didn’t know you still wanted to be with me. I thought we were done for good.”

“I thought so too...” she began, tightening her grip on her jacket, looking anywhere but your eyes. “But… I can’t stop thinking about you. I know we’re both committed to our careers, and I know I can’t trust myself around you, and I know things didn’t work out before but…. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you!” she confessed, stepping forward a bit as she finally met your gaze.

You sighed, brushing your hair out of your face. “Taeyeon…. how can you do this…”

“Do what? Love you? It’s the easiest thing in the world.”

“No, I mean how can you just show up out of the blue after I’ve spent months trying to forget about you, telling myself that I did what was best for both of us by ending things, lying to myself about how much I missed you, and get me all confused by telling me you still love me?” you snapped, getting frustrated at the well of feelings that had been tipping over inside you. You didn’t mean to raise your voice, but it kind of got away from you in the heat of the moment.

“Are you saying you don’t still love me?” she asked softly after a moment of silence, tears prickling at the surface of her brown eyes.

You scoffed with a frustrated laugh, putting your head in your hands. “Oh my gosh Taeyeon, of course I still love you! I never stopped! You’ve literally been the only thing on my mind at every moment of everyday!”

“Then why can’t we be together?” she pleaded, taking a step forward challengingly.

“Because it didn’t work, Taeyeon.” you declared, finally letting a few angry tears fall. “We’re both too busy and couldn’t give one another the relationship we deserved.”

“What we deserve is each other!” she cried out, practically sobbing now. No matter how mad she made you, you would always hate seeing he cry. “I was never happier than when I was with you! I thought succeeding at my job would make me happier but it doesn’t. It all means nothing if I don’t have you to share it with!”

You looked at each other desperately as both of your tears fell to the pavement, and at that moment you finally understood each other. Right now, sharing this gaze, was the most intimate moment you had ever shared. At last, you knew how one another felt.

You took a few short, quick strides over to her, then yanked her into an embrace. You held onto her so tightly, as if she would disappear at any given moment. You buried your head into her neck, letting the last of your tears fall before pulling back to look at her.

“I’m so glad you’re back.” you confessed, wiping one of her remaining tears away with your thumb.

She laughed through the tears, then put her arms up behind your neck. “I promise, we’ll make it work this time. I’ll take time off work to spend it with you.”

“Same here.” you agreed, nodding your head with a smile. “I lost you once, and I’m not gonna lose you again.”

She looked at you with such unbridled adoration, glassy eyes shining even brighter than the moon above you, and before you knew it, your faces were just centimeters apart. You closed the gap slowly, pressing your lips to hers softly. God, you missed this so much. You would never, ever grow tired of kissing her. The two of you just seemed to mold together so well.

She pulled back to breathe, forehead still pressed against yours. “Come on, let’s get to my place. I think we have lots to talk about.”

#taeyeon imagines #taeyeon scenarios #taeyeon headcanons #taeyeon x reader #taeyeon fanfic #taeyeon writers #taeyeon reactions #kim taeyeon #taeyeon snsd #snsd imagines #snsd reactions #snsd scenarios #snsd headcanons #snsd x reader #girl group imagines #girl group fanfic #girl group scenarios #girl group x reader

251 notes · View notes

nyaagolor · 10 months

Text

Pre-Story ZeroTrio

I have this extremely elaborate explanation rotating in my brain all the time about how the ZeroTrio's relationships change over time, but I've never properly written it out or posted it here. I got inspired recently tho, so I'll be writing it out in a series of posts bc it's Extremely Long. Anyway, figured I would start out with the pre-game-timeline. Under the cut so as to not clog the dash :)

Nemona and Arven

The two of them not only lived nearby but were also the only kids their age in the neighborhood-- they didn’t really have anyone other than each other to play with. I think Arven found Nemona a little overbearing while she found him a lil snippy, but they got closer as time went on just due to proximity and also because Nemona’s parents were very strict on her and her manners, so playing with Arven was the only time she really got to be herself. With Nemona wanting to be herself and Arven just wanting someone to pay attention to him, they ended up getting over their initial apprehensions and being besties in the way only 6 year olds can be. Nemona helped Arven teach his Maschiff different battle strategies and they just had a lot of fun running around in the grass together.

Uuuuuuunfortunatley, this got worse as they got older. Nemona’s parents were convinced that bc of her chronic illness she couldn’t go into battling and encouraged her to be a pokemon professor. They encouraged her to talk to Sada/Turo, which she did in earnest. She had a lot of talent for someone so young, so the professors actually gave her the time of day because they were interested in her battling prowess. For someone like Arven who was ignored and neglected emotionally (one parent walked out, the other was absorbed in work, etc) he immediately got jealous of any time that Nemona was "taking from him" and shifted a lot of the blame of his parents’ absence onto her. He was a kid, and the thought of his parents being the problem or having such clear flaws wasn’t smth he could handle so he subconsciously shifted the blame onto his friend, as that was a far easier pill to swallow

Then the professor came home with the ‘raidon and things got worse. Arven had already started to distance himself from his neighbor (because she's pushy and annoying, he told himself), but now he had the 'raidon to take care of and just didn't have time to play. Nemona was constantly hounding them, wanting a strong opponent to battle, but Arven was pretty clear about wanting to keep her and the 'raidon far away from each other

Somehow, she always found a way to sneak to the back of the lighthouse to try and join when the ‘raidon and Arven were playing outside (she was absolutely a lonely kid and had too much time on her hands so she legit just wandered around Poco Path waiting for them). They did manage to play for a while, having a few good meetings and play fights before Nemona properly challenged the ‘raidon for a battle

Unlike Arven, though, Nemona has a pretty bad sense of emotions and body language and wasn’t really picking up on the fact that the ‘raidon was going a little too far and that she was in increasing danger until it was too late. The raidon is a bit like a giant puppy, so the play fighting turned into play Biting and before anyone realized what was happening, the ‘raidon had locked its jaws around Nemona’s arm. It wasn’t hard, but Arven only saw this beast his parents said explicitly to keep safe attacking someone and tried to tear the raidon off her. He only succeeded in startling it, causing it to clamp down at Nemona’s arm and lash out at Arven, clawing him in the face and blinding him in one eye (the one he now covers with his bangs. (Neither of these injuries heal because the raidon is a paradox pokemon and the injuries caused by them don’t obey traditional laws of spacetime).

The screams attract the professor, who realizes their specialist little monster just mauled the kid of the most powerful people in the region. Nemona’s parents are mortified. They never saw what attacked her and admittedly Nemona didn’t remember either, blocking most of the memories out, but it’s enough, and the professors understand that if they want the 'raidon safe they need to leave Now. So in true professor fashion, they book it out of there that night, leaving Arven behind without a word

Arven becomes so bitter and resentful towards her, blaming her for his parent’s disappearance because he doesn’t know what else to do, and the two of them don’t really speak again. Nemona tries to go over to see him, but each time she’s ignored– Arven barely leaves the lighthouse anyway

They end up growing up and becoming distant, with Arven stagnating due to trauma and his home situation while Nemona excels. Watching her succeed, Arven is reminded of all his failings and his missing parent and ends up projecting all his self hate and insecurities onto her (she is not aware of this). To top it all off, Nemona’s lackluster social skills come in clutch a second time when Arven emerges from Area Zero, a lil roughed up and horrified about the damage to Mabosstiff. Nemona sees him and excitedly asks him for a battle, getting a little pushy until he eventually snaps and says some things to her that he is Not Proud Of.

Nemona hasn’t really been talked back to like that in years, as everyone feels she’s too nice to really be told off, and learns to avoid her snippy rude neighbor thereafter. It’s not until the game that they speak again, since Arven is actively avoiding Nemona bc of how she triggers his insecurities by existing and Nemona knows enough to give him a wide berth lest he snaps at her like last time. He strongly dislikes her, tho it’s more misplaced angst and self hate, while she doesn’t explicitly dislike him but thinks he’s kinda mean

Penny and Arven

Arven is in the same boat as many of the exchange students, where he mostly stays at the academy during breaks if he can help it because it gives him access to the cafeteria and a heater and all the other amenities their professor parent didn’t bother with for the lighthouse. Plus he hates being in the lighthouse alone. And at one point, after their parents manage to miss Christmas without so much as a phone call, Arven starts ranting as he walks down the hallway, eventually slumping against a door and muttering his woes to the empty space

He’s surprised when his phone buzzes and starts reading out texts– there’s no number attached, almost like someone just started speaking through his phone. According to the mystery messenger, there’s a person who lives on the other side of the door, and she heard everything. She offers him a bit of stilted understanding, and while she isn’t exactly the best at comforting, Arven feels a massive weight off his shoulders at the prospect of someone– anyone– listening to him. So he rants and raves because Someone is listening, Finally. He explains to her that he’s a good cook and leaves a sandwich at her doorstep before he leaves as a thank-you

And thus begins their fun little game. The mystery messenger is always in her room, too shy to speak or meet him face to face but always holed up inside, ready to listen. Arven shows up at random, venting and ranting and always packing sandwiches for her because he knows she'll always be there and loves his sandwiches. She reveals a little about herself too, about her anxieties and poor diet and everything else, and so Arven just keeps coming and leaving snacks

She learns that Maschiff actually likes jam better than peanut butter and he finds out the name of her favorite anime. He realizes she likes sweets better than savory stuff and she realizes he’s really good at remembering little details. So they chat, not knowing the other’s name or face, and become something close to friends

Then one day Arven comes and chats with his friend, but his phone isn’t buzzing like usual, it's just quiet. He keeps talking though, because his friend said she gets tired sometimes, until he has nothing left to say and the sandwich he brought starts to get soggy. He leaves it by her doorstep and goes back to his room. It’s gone the next day, so he feels more emboldened and tries again

He talks to her for hours, always coming back despite the silence– because at least if she’s taking the sandwiches he knows she’s listening. Eventually, he tells her he's going down to Area Zero. She says nothing, but he feels like this is finally time, but returns with Mabosstiff hurt and no idea what to do. So he just goes to his friend and slumps against her door and cries. He asks her what to do next, but predictably, she's silent on the matter. He says he can wait, so he sits with his back to her door until he eventually falls asleep, a sandwich for her in his hand

It’s a janitor that wakes him up. She asks Arven if he’s the one who has been leaving the sandwiches by the door. Arven says yes, and the janitor looks mildly annoyed– you know I’ve been cleaning those up each night, right? she asks. Arven tries to explain they’re for the girl that lives there, but the janitor is confused. No one lives in that dorm anymore. The occupant moved out in a hurry. It suddenly dawns on Arven that he’s been venting and crying and pouring his heart out to an empty dorm for weeks because whoever this “friend” was didn’t have the courtesy to say goodbye

Arven leaves, feeling more betrayed than ever and absolutely positive that being vulnerable in front of others only gets you hurt, and so the two of them never see each other again– until they do, but they don’t know it :3c

Nemona and Penny

They don’t know each other before the game starts. They know OF each other, but Nemona is too one-track-mind-ed and Penny is too intimidated by her for either of them to reach out to the other

#i know this ignores a few small bits of dialogue that they have but shhhh it's fine #nemona #arven #pokemon sv #headcanons

51 notes · View notes

trans-axolotl · 4 months

Note

(Apologies this is long and rambley)

So ive been thinking on a peer-made trait-based 'diagnostic model' (not for disorders but neurodiverse traits), rather than the way the DSM and ICD do it and what that would look like and if it would be a good idea to propose as an alternative that focuses the patients unique experiences over theorized model boxes with misleading names.

Ive been growing increasingly discontent with how the ICD and DSM both categorize disorders, and the completed alternate models ive seen that already exist are not much better honestly, and worse for my specific brainfuckery. The alternate models that only focus on one section are just that- focused on one specific experience. Monotropisim as an alternate autism model can never be fully realized in the bubble it exists as a theory in. Plurality has like 50 different theory models and half of them aggressively ignore common reported experiences because they don't work with their unverified personal gnosis theory of everything, and the other half are likewise mostly incomplete. Trauma/cause-based models ignore genetic/from birth issues as a known cause of mental illness/developmental disorder and also consider everything trauma to the point of diluting the term.

I figured the best option would be to group traits by perceived experiences or related phenomena, with overlap, and the best way to do that accurately would be to make the 'diagnostic codes' combinable infinitely. (ex- a category that is 'unusual sensory experiences' with synthesia, hypo and hyper sensitivity to stimuli, needing to regulate with the sensory system (stimming) to high degrees, hallucinations of any kind, voice hearing(would also go under the plural category when consistent and personlike in presentation), visual snow, etc and each trait is a unique string of characters you can stack under the category string to create a larger string that describes your experiences quickly and concisely).

(The groupings are still all up in the air and id want to get a lot of perspective before cementing it, but I do want to put synthesia and hallucinations and visual snow all together because they are adding a Weird experience and its sensory based stuff others cannot perceive)

And then I realized that this is just the Geek Code but for neurodiversity,,

Im STILL not sure if that makes it a bad idea or not honestly.

On one hand the way the DSM and ICD are set up is NOT actually that great, and being able to shorthand a list that describes things better and doesnt pathologize people as having 'asshole liar personality disorder' or whatever would be fantastic, on the other it is also clunky, people are gonna be pissed about how I am categorizing things contrary to how the DSM and ICD group things (autism and schizophrenia and plurality are all holding hands and kissing with tongue), and it may more strongly encourage people to share very private information online via sharing their string code of every last neuroweirdness they have (which I do NOT want people doing for safety reasons).

So I just went 'hm, whos a cool antipsych person who may have more insight than I do about trying to make a peer-made description system for those who dont want to use the DSM or ICD to describe their experiences', and I thought of you, so thoughts? Is it feasible? Is it a good idea to try? I have like 500 million projects and I REALLY shouldnt add a new one of this magnitude, but I feel like its an important idea to at least float around first.

Hey anon! My answer got pretty long, so I'm going to put it under the read more.

I actually know a few people doing something like this--the founding director of Neuromancers started a project like this (not much has been happening with it lately, bc everyone is so busy with other organizing commitments and life, but if we ever get back to it i'm really excited about it. you could join the discord for Neuromancers and ask about the project if you want to join). I'm a known DSM hater and think that both the DSM and ICD and most biomedical models of mental illness as well as the "evidence based" processes of diagnosis are so fundamentally flawed, oppressive, and are in no way culturally relevant to the vast majority of people. a lot of us are still going to use that terminology as a shorthand because it's the most accessible and understandable in our current society, but that doesn't necessarily mean we all like it or agree with the way it's formulated in the DSM.

Honestly, I'm always a big fan of mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people creating more ways of understanding ourselves and creating more resources for us to use. I think that there's never going to be one right model that works for every experience or than can encompass everyone. And I think that there's so much value in really deconstructing and dismantling the DSM--understanding exactly how disorders are currently categorized, the evidence behind it, the lack of evidence behind it, what clinicians and researchers are saying about these diagnoses, how we actually experience these diagnoses in practice, how diagnoses change through history, things like that. It can be super crucial to build our own understandings of just how these diagnoses were shaped in the first place so that we can understand what it would mean to dismantle and build alternative models that feel more affirming for us. I think your idea of trying to group more by traits rather than strict disorder criteria is something that might resonate with a lot of people!

that being said, i think that it is such a large and difficult project and also something that is almost impossible to make universal--there are so many factors going into everyone's experience with madness/mental illness/neurodivergence, and different labels are going to resonate with different people for different reasons. it's hard to predict what language or models will catch on with different people, and not all types of language or models are accessible to everyone. i guess for me i just think it can be helpful to go into projects like this without the expectations that this will necessarily be able to replace the DSM for everyone, and instead thinking more about how this can be a valuable tool for providing more options and ways of thinking about madness/mental illness/neurodivergence! even if it doesn't work for everyone or is only applicable to certain types of traits and variations, i think that this type of creation of knowledge is so, so valuable. i hope that makes sense!

some other related concepts that your ask reminded me of was @bioethicists principles of liberatory antipsychiatry. Charlie identifies the right to your own explanatory model as a key principle of liberatory antipsychiatry, and that liberatory antipsychiatry should affirm and build upon those individual models, and respect that as a way of healing. I think that's a really important insight, and to me makes a lot of sense. We all have the right to draw from our own experiences + minds, as well as use existing knowledge, science, and disability community experience in order to create alterative labels, models, and frameworks for our madness/mental illness/neurodivergence. I honestly feel like I've created my own hyperspecific model of madness for my own bodymind, and that framework has been super helpful for figuring out how to live with my madness. Idk how helpful it would be for anyone who isn't me, but having my own particular explanatory model was crucial for helping me heal.

It also reminds me of the way this really amazing peer support network for people living with schizophrenia in Japan called Bethel House, who developed a framework for radical peer support and healing. This article talks about the concept of tōjisha-kenkyū, which in English would get translated as something like "self directed diagnosis" or maybe "political education," and it seems kind of similiar to English concepts about self diagnosis.

"Self-reflection is at the heart of this practice. Tōjisha-kenkyū incorporates various forms of reflection developed in clinical methods, such as social skills training and cognitive behavioural therapy, but the reflections of a tōjisha don’t begin and end at the individual. Instead, self-reflection is always shared, becoming a form of knowledge that can be communally reflected upon and improved. At Bethel House, members found it liberating that they could define themselves as ‘producers’ of a new form of knowledge, just like the doctors and scientists who diagnosed and studied them in hospital wards. The experiential knowledge of Bethel members now forms the basis of an open and shared public domain of collective knowledge about mental health, one distributed through books, newspaper articles, documentaries and social media." (Japan's radical alternative to psychiatric diagnosis, Satsuki Ayayais and Junko Kitanaka, ).

Anyway, thought I'd share those things to sort of point you in the direction of other people thinking about madness outside of the DSM. if you end up doing any more thought or creation for this idea, def feel free to share with me! I love seeing all the ways people take apart the DSM and build our own knowledge, and would love to keep updated.

best of luck, anon!

#asks #psych abolition #mad liberation #mad pride #ableism

15 notes · View notes

ev1lmorty · 2 months

Text

anyways i think im officially not gonna get myself to do this so ill reveal info on that vkjc au i was gonna make a longfic abt the one for these vkjcs

i posted a few times abt how i loved the idea of leagueverse n arcaneverse being consecutive timelines in the way each reboot of devilman is The Next Universe ryo n akira are destinated to ruin. so the idea was there were 3 main verses n then mentions n occassional chapters abt others so it was infinity of timelines stacked on top each other of viktor n jayce meeting n viktor fucking it up beyond repair and being doomed to only realize when it was too late or she was abt to die.

the main verse it followed was gonna be the au i frequently draw above: vague 2010s modern day where a meteor was coming to take the world out and viktor n jayce were trying to rebuild blitzcrank after abandoning the project in college yrs prior. viktors deal was in college they had the usual situationship w jayce n then got into a horrible car accident that caused them to have a near-death vision of other viktors trying to warn them to not fuck this up. n it freaked them out so bad they completely ghosted jayce for a few yrs so he ended up thinking they just. died.

idm spoiling beats even if i somehow come back to it but the arc was gonna be that viktor was using both the meteor n blitzcrank to reconnect bc they felt guilty abt everything. n then jayce n vik slowly falling back in love jn the process n the ultimate test of if viktor could actually change as a person was that the meteor managed to be subverted n they had to still be willing to be vulnerable with jayce even if death wasnt looming over them. the end was gonna be v open bc itd imply the timelines didnt stop but that they had the chance to no longer be out of viktors hands.

the other beat was that this was happening at all bc viktor in one leagueverse was the sole survivor of this final battle between zaun n piltover n a Great God found it amusing how they were STILL sulking over jayce n pretending they werent they decided to have fun n make them self aware of timelines n in this doomed situation.

i qrote a few chapters idk if theyre too long for screenshots but ill rb w tyem lol

#av.txt

14 notes · View notes

theblogtini · 1 month

Note

"his elderly father who has cancer" who is also the current monarch? He should be working and doing his job - which is what everyone said about the Queen when towards the end, she wasn't doing as much. People complained bitterly that if she couldn't be queen and do the job then she should pass it onto to Charles. Just to be clear, I actually don't have a problem with Charles taking it easy or the Queen taking it easy, but I have a problem with the fact that people were so hard on the Queen who was in her 90's but are seemingly much easier on Charles and Camilla, who are younger and in terms of Camilla, don't do as much.

I think when it’s The Late Queen v Charles people see his illness as a temporary setback, which is why no one is calling for him to step down and hand it to William, like they did when TLQ was getting older.

I also think that with The King, people understand that right now due to his treatments he simply can’t be out and about. It’s not that he isn’t physically capable - he seems to be able to move around alright, but many cancer treatments tank your immune system so there is a big concern with avoiding secondary infections. Being in a meeting with a few people spread out, manageable and okay. Being at an engagement with hundreds of strangers? Potentially very dangerous to his health and his treatment (bc if he gets sick from something else they’ll have to stop treatment while he recovers).

18 notes · View notes

ashmp3 · 4 months

Note

5, 6, 17, 23, 26 but i wanna know all about everything actually so if you get multiples and want to switch any of these for a different one ofc feel free (except for 17 that one has to stay put bc i need to hear about giulietta karaoke)❣️

heheheh well the coffee date deal is on & today is new moon so lets manifest mwah mwah!!! and surprisingly i didnt get those so no duplicates lets enjoy 💋♥️ 5. Song that needs to be played LOUD... okay first song that came on my mind was.... glad you came by the wanted but let me explain let me explain okay... You know how they repeat the word from the line before (turn the light out now / NOW ill take u by the hand / HAND you another drink / DRINK it if u can / CAN u spend a little time / TIME is slipping away / AWAY from us so stay / STAY with me so i can make / MAKE U GLAD YOU CAMEEEE) well.. i simply think i need to play it loud and say the words OBNOXIOUSLY clear and LOUD. which is a prompt. 6. Song that makes you want to dance... Oh im a dancer at heart im like an annoying male peacock of some sorts. Lately my before shower dance playlist consists of s&m - rihanna, put my hands on you - dean and una noche en medellin - cris mj. But i really am easy everything makes me dance i did zumba it is what it is. BUT i gotta say like maya berović and buba and jala era reminds me of turning 18 and dancing until my feet were numb. i was KNOWN as the girl that loves to dance and i rmr at one of those bday parties the DJ from the booth saw me from the top and asked the birthday girl for my number KJVDFSNVKS like im not joking i was crazy back then but still a nun. Duality... YAWN.

17. Song WE would sing as a duet on karaoke... in giulietta naturally of course. I mean ana you were good and serious about it but me i am a jester and how can i NOT say ljubav by devito and nikolija? how can i NOT say loš sam ti ja, like we are not singing about lino and jeonghan? I think we could sing a plethora of songs like we could do kao kokain too. Just two guys...... Chilling...... 23. Song that you think everybody should listen to... I dont know why but first person that came on my mind was amira medunjanin. My favorite forever and always is što te nema. I think her voice could bring people to life so I am blasting it through my huge imaginary megaphone 26. Song that makes you want to fall in love... I have few. I always said that her - majid jordan is MY love song even though the lyrics a bit HEH but i love love the start i got her in the palm of my hand, she knows i love her. Movement - hozier (when you move im moved... Killing myself). Gills - thornapple. TO YOU - seventeen... oh so so many truly! s&m by riha-

#This was A LOTT but i hope you enjoy reading this because i had so much fun answering them all... kisses to you and sleepy time for meeee #ask

10 notes · View notes

thxtmarvelchick · 4 months

Text

✨BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS ORGANIZED BY GENRE (and tropes listed)✨

i will do the cut thing because this is going to be long…

THIS WILL BE CONTINUOUSLY ADDED ONTO AS I READ MORE BOOKS THAT FIND THEMSELVES IN MY FAVOURITES

Fantasy/Sci-fi (because I feel like they go hand in hand)

•A Court Of Thorns And Roses (the entire series) by Sarah J Mass

I can genuinely say that this series had such a massive impact on my life and it will always be in my top recs. The writing is SO beautiful and the world- building is IMPECCABLE you can vividly picture everything and it just completely transports you to this magical world.

Tropes: fae (ik this isn’t a trope i just had to say it), a little enemies to lovers, a little friends to lovers, royalty, FATED MATES (my personal favourite), forced proximity, they dream of each other, she owes him a debt, slow burn, found family

spice is included✨ and honestly pretty fricking spicy (spiciest on this list probably)

•Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

Another book that like altered my brain chemistry because it was so good. The main character has a chronic illness (that is the same chronic illness the author has). It’s such a comfort book to me and i really wish i could read it for the first time again because there’s twists and the ending had me SHELLSHOCKED and i do not get shocked easily because most of the time i can tell it’s coming but i genuinely had NO IDEA that is how good Rebecca Yarros’ writing is.

Tropes: enemies to lovers (but they’re attracted to each other from the very start), kind of forbidden love (parents were enemies), they’re bonded to each other so kind of fated mates?, THEY’RE AT A COLLEGE TO BECOME DRAGON RIDERS THAT’S LITERALLY SO COOL, oh did i mention DRAGONS THAT TALK AND ARE SASSY LITTLE SHITS, also kind of found family bc the MC’s is dysfunctional as hell

also spice is included✨ i’d rate it maybe a 3/5?, it’s not SUPER detailed and there’s not a lot but there’s one scene where my jaw was dropped the entire time

•One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

This is a comfort read FOR SURE. I felt so seen because the MC is just like me (socially awkward, book lover, nerd) and she has a huge crush on this other girl ( YES IT’S LGBTQ!!) who is totally like 70s rockstar vibes (she’s literally so cool i cannot). It’s a book that’ll have you squealing and kicking your feet. Oh did i mention the love interest is ACTUALLY a 70s pink chick who’s accidentally time travelled forward after an accident she had on the subway?

tropes: this is pure fluff guys like seriously you can’t not love it, kind of coming of age (she’s 23 and finding her confidence and place in the world) , the love interest doesn’t remember how she got there (so amnesia), found family (just now noticing a theme with all my recs so far..)

there’s spice mentioned but not actual spicy scenes!

Romance

•Bridgerton series

This series is a staple however due to you not having to read all the books/ the books in order there are a few that i don’t think i’ll reread (i haven’t even read Francesca’s yet) like for instance i didn’t like Benedict’s book because of the Cinderella retelling aspect and I ended up dnfing

BUT the rest are REALLY good, my favourites being Colin/Penelope’s (Romancing Mister Bridgerton) and Hyacinth’s (It’s In His Kiss)

Tropes: (just doing the main one for each book)

Book #1 (Daphne)- fake relationship

Book #2 (Anthony)- enemies to lovers

Book #3 (Benedict)- fairytale retelling (cinderella), she was a lady’s maid for one of his sisters (i think… it’s been awhile)

Book #4 (Colin/Penelope)- friends to lovers, she��s a socially awkward wallflower and i relate immensely (there’s twists and overall is just a beautiful love story)

Book #5 (Eloise)- they’re pen pals and she runs away to his home (he has children that are an absolute MENACE to her it’s hilarious)

Book #6 (Francesca)- haven’t read yet but i know that the main premise is her late husband (who died not long after she married him) ‘s cousin has always loved her since he met her

Book #7 (Hyacinth)- mystery, they’re trying to find his family’s hidden jewels (their dynamic is amazing and hyacinth is my favourite bridgerton she’s so funny to me)

Book #8 (Gregory)- they’re friends and they realize they’re in love with each other as they’re about to marry other people (he crashes her wedding it’s fantastic)

14 notes · View notes

furymint · 4 months

Text

2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections: 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

#ngl writing this out made me feel like #i reopened a lot of grief about my ability to work and create #and i need to walk away from it before i cry even more lol #thank u to my fc for still being the place #i love to visit when i wake up #even though all of us a struggling a lot #with life and ingame motivation #brianna babbles

7 notes · View notes

itsjaywalkers · 1 month

Note

hi lovey how are you <3

it's late—like,,,4am late—and im somehow spewing out actual sentences BUT i have a question and i've been debating on how to start this whole thing so ill just say fuck it n get it out there—how do you keep up with all your wips??? bc like,,,,i've started writing, and i LOVE it. it's so fun to have these ideas finally out in word format instead of just stuck in my head.

but i have a really bad habit of starting smth n then...moving on to smth else when inspiration strikes. i occasionally go back to what i was originally writing, but even then it doesn't last long before im starting a whole new story 😭 im a little peeved as i've completely abandoned this one writing i slaved away at for days abt the backstory of one of my ocs—im somewhat proud of it n i don't want to just not get back into it.

as i write this, im currently staring at my laptop as i churn out yet another story of said oc (along with multiple other ocs myself n a friend made together) n im just,,,perplexed?? i suppose, on how so many fic writers keep up with all their wips.

i realize now that im just droning on n on so ill end here. writing is a bitch but also feels me with accomplishment when i do end up finishing smth, so i was just curious as to how you work around wips n things like that.

hello darling, i'm okay!! kinda dreading today's shift, but it is what it is. how are u tho??

and to be honest with u, i don't keep up with my wips like . at all . i do try to maintain some order, and sometimes i forbid myself from working on a story in favour of focusing on another one, but it doesn't always work, and there are times in which i really want to work on a fic even tho it's not a priority or supposed to be posted any time soon. but still, i try not to beat myself up over it, bc fanfiction is a hobby and something that i do for fun!! it shouldn't feel like a chore, so even if i do want to keep a schedule or alternate between wips so i can have some resemblance of balance, it's not really necessary, or even possible, considering the amount of wips i have lmao. it's our work and our writing, we're free to never finish anything if we don't want to, or to write 13847872648 fics at the same time, or to write only one for the rest of our lives. there are no rules or a right way to go about it yk??? i totally get the need to . focus on just one project, or at least be able to finish something, anything, but it'll happen at some point, i promise, and u should never force yourself, especially when it comes to an activity u do bc u love it and enjoy it

it's different if we talk about original fiction or original characters.. at least in my case!! i didn't get into writing fanfic until a few years ago, but i've been writing original stories since i can remember!! in fact there's this one i'm very slowly making progress with, that i came up with back when i was 17, and that i really want to . finish someday and hopefully try and publish it. for me, and when i'm really passionate about a project, like with this one, i do . force myself to not write anything else . it's inevitable to get new ideas, so i write them down, i make pinterest boards and even outlines, and occassionally, i also start them, write a lil of them when i need a break or to scratch the itch. but otherwise i just . do my best to stick to the one that i really love and i'm the proudest of. i do tend to hyperfixate and obsess a lot, so it's not THAT hard for me, bc even if i do get distracted sometimes, i always come back to this story. especially since i've been working on it for almost 5 years now, and i know it like the back of my hand. i could write three prequels and four sequels lol

so really, i don't think there's a right or wrong way to go about this. one of my best friends, and a writer i quite admire, jumps from a wip to another all the time, and also struggles to finish a story, but she just . trusts the process . lets herself have fun and write whatever she wants every day . it's been a while since she last finished something but she isn't too worried yk?? she enjoys what she does, and what matters is that she keeps writing. every person is different, and the way they approach writing is, too!!

my advice is to try and find out what works best for u and to stop beating yourself up over something that might be out of ur control. if u have this one story that's really important to u and that u really wanna finish, then maybe ur gonna have to practise some self-discipline, and force yourself a little, forbid yourself from getting distracted with these other shiny new ideas. but if doing that ruins the whole thing for u and sucks the fun out of writing then . take it one day at a time, focus on something different each day, and start 4 stories in the same week. it doesn't matter babe!! writing is an art, there's not a correct way to do it!!

#sorry if this wasn't very helpful i'm never the best person to ask about writing..#but i'm wishing u the best <333 #and i'm sure all ur stories are lovely #regardless of you finishing them or not #sending u a big hug #asks #s tag #on writing

4 notes · View notes

blacktinnedpeaches · 11 months

Text

had a weird wig sale day yesterday. i did make £400 so i truly cant complain but i felt like the ugliest wig was the most beloved + i was very confused bc my favourite ones got literally zero love... ill post the wigs at the end of the post + you can all tell me which wig is the ugliest one. and i'll tell you if you're right

i emailed a UK doll convention too to see if they have any vendor spacecs bc i think a cash injection a few times a year would be really good (altho i have never done cons before so fuck knows how this is gonna go). ben offered to come along + help out as well and he's actually done that for ana too so i'll allow it

benno fucked me like a champ this weekend - he's so good! im so lucky!!!! in related news though the huge pink vibrator (long term followers may remember when i bought it + did not check the specs beforehand) i think may be broken lol hmm (it only vibrates if you hold it at specific angles... lol)... hmmm

site is late paying me again. fucking !!!!!!!

i am feeling quite worried about work (see point no.1) but im in contact with a nice alpaca woman who is willing to sell me her champion alpaca fleece for £240 for 4kg. (reminder that i bought 3kg for £70 last week) honestly i probably will buy it even tho that's a lot of fucking money - £60 per kilo is more than ive ever spoent on alpaca - the prev most expensive was 50 - bc it's 15/16 inches lon which is a very very rare length, and i can charge more accordingly. the profit margin is still staggering to be honest so i shouldn't really fuss too much

honestly i wouldnt be so worried about money if we weren't getting married in 3 months bc we still have a shit ton to pay for. HOWEVER my parents have been consistent about saying they will pay for whatever is asked, so i think possibly my worrying is unnecessary, but ana is suspicious that they're gonna pull out of this offer @ the last minute. i actually dont think this is likely (ben doesnt either) bc they've always actually been hugely financially generous (if emotionally devastating) like they paid for everything (rent/food/literally everything) when i was in uni, never asked me for rent when i moved back home, my dad pretended not to notice me buying groceries on his debit card for years - like i really dont think ana is right on this one. but until i actually have the money in my hands i will be nervous. they have a fair reason for not sending me money also - my granddad's will money hasn't cleared yet + they're just waiting for that these are the wigs anyway

the only colourway anyone gave a shit about was the red/black omg i was so shaken bc i think it's hideous + really unsubtle and i only made it bc i thought it would be popular. which to be fair it was but i think it's vile. that blonde ombre is basically perfect, a really really pretty blend with no colour where it shouldnt be, and NO ONE CARED!!! ETA: shortly a fter publishing this post someone did enquire about the blonde one. thank you that's better

8 notes · View notes

pluviophile-imagines · 2 years

Note

SILLY IDEA!!! i just finished reading ur absolute banger drabble of usurper!gojo and the child convo. and it got me thinking (linking things from canon to the au) that in the future somehow we stumble upon megumi (maybe from a nearby kingdom..?) and then yuji & nobara? do u think we would adopt? (I love u endlessly btw you’re my favourite writer)

I talked about this prospect here, which is in the usurper!gojo tag but fairly far back & isnt linked anywhere so i dont blame u at all for not seeing it. i also preface by saying that u all can, obvi, disregard all this however u please, but personally i just don't see gojo as a very paternal guy. big brother who gets a kick out of annoying the fuck out of u but gives pretty good advice and would beat the shit out of ur bullies??? yes. but not rlly a father-figure.

with that in mind, all of the first and second years are king's wards! essentially, they're members of the court, often orphaned nobles (or nobles whose parents are otherwise out of the picture, ex. been imprisoned), who the king or queen decides to sponsor. typically that'd rlly just be in name & funding and the ward wouldn't meet them more than a few times (if that) but in the case of this au—because gojo and the reader are incredibly unorthodox rulers—they're a little more hands-on & take on more direct mentor positions. again, not rlly adoptive parents, but def around in their lives and there for support (well, more the reader in that sense) and the kinds of funding a noble parent would give their kids.

wrt megumi specifically: toji is the assassin hired to kill gojo (and gojo killed him in the process of that failed assassination attempt) so megumi's around just like in canon with gojo taking him in bc he killed his dad. yuuji and nobara are orphaned servants who gojo & the reader took a liking to and just took under their wing—frankly i think megumi bonds with them and then gojo's like hey! where r ur parents??? pfft

toge and maki are slightly different. maki is from the zen'in family which is, obviously, the highest ranking noble family alongside the kamos, but she was cast aside and disgraced. gojo stepped in—both out of spite and because he identified with her—and took her on as a ward. toge is an orphaned noble from a middle-ranking family; i kind of imagine him to be the son of two nobles who allied themselves with Gojo and helped with the coup maybe as spies like nanami??? and died perhaps as a result of it, so funding toge's education and stepping in to raise him was his thanks/apology to toge's late parents.

panda..... well. im trying to keep from explicitly saying whether or not there's magic in this au so. we'll say panda is either the creation or adoptive son of yaga, who was.... mmmm let's say a general under gojo's father (i would go with captain of the guard but i already gave that to getou's dad lol) and also the man who taught gojo both military strategy as a prince would need to learn && to fight, but was killed in the aftermath of gojo's uncle's coup, so taking panda on is a similar story to toge

annnnnnd finally yuuta, who is of note because in-canon he's descended from the gojo clan. ill simply c+v what i said in that other post wrt him:

[gojo] goes off on a lil trip one month and comes back with a teenager whose family has been living as like sheep farmers or some shit in the country for generations but who can trace his lineage back to a courtesan of a former king with maybe an old family heirloom or like a magic-based 23 and me test or some shit.

thats yuuta! the result of gojo finally getting fed the fuck up of people telling him he needs an heir, if not create one then name one from among his wards. does the entire court think he just nabbed a random serf and is fully lying about the royal blood? oh absolutely. is he actually lying? perhaps. you and he are the only ones to know the truth

#ask.🌧#anon #usurper!gojo #once again u can imagine whatever tho #thank you for the ask!!!!#i like expanding upon the lore of this au

22 notes · View notes

breathplayed · 9 months

Note

17, 29, 48, & 55 😁🫖

oh u GOT me got me lets go

(17) what is your favorite line you’ve ever written? babe plz this one is too hard..... there's too many...... I HAVE 920K WORDS ON AO3 AND ~50K INCOMING I DONT EVEN REMEMBER THEM ALL......... uuhhhhhhhh ok ok ill try to narrow a few down. it's all gonna be recent tho bc that's what i remember most + i have rly been indulging myself stylistically as of late lmao

for just ~pretty language~ my favorites rn are

"Jimin is almost too pretty to mar with mortal hands, but Jungkook finds desecration is half the fun when his hands slip lower" (folie à trois)

"Some floodgate inside him has broken, the last bastion of resistance crumbled, and now he’s a drowning man in the dead waters" (folie à trois)

“I love you,” he whimpers into Taehyung’s kiss like a prayer. Too devout; Taehyung’s hands and lips pause. Jimin’s own lip is already trembling, caught, so he lets the confessional spill like it’s the last Sunday he’ll ever see." (the losing game ch17)

"[Taehyung] used to dream, sometimes, after Jimin was gone, that he was holding him again, that he could crack open Jimin's ribcage and crawl inside to make a home beside his heart before they burned together." (the losing game ch5)

"Sometimes—in his darkest moments, on his worst nights—Jimin dreams about Taehyung carving over each and every one of his scars. Creating clean new edges to each of them, prying fingers in the wound to be as close as possible, rewriting their memories and meanings with a jagged, almost unbearable intimacy." (the losing game ch17)

"The graves we dig ourselves are often the deepest." (the graves we dig..... now thats a real throwback huh)

there's too much i could say for dialogue but.... i'm super fond of the hurtful conversations present!vmin have in tlg (especially ch14, i reread that a lot), ignite the stars ch5 (also reread that a lot), and also i love pretty much everything that comes out of taehyung's mouth in folie à trois lol

(29) give us a spoiler for one of your stories. answered here, but since this one could be answered multiple times i'll bite......... my queue tag ("i'm glad it was queue") is a play on one of my favorite lines in all of tlg that i have been excited about getting to for yeaaaarrrssss. no one but me knows the line yet (or how hurtful its context is) bc it's in one of the final chapters hehehe but it's "i'm glad it was you" ..... :')

(48) do you reread your own stories? the answer to this used to be a strong NO!!!! but that has actually changed in the last two years! i don't rly reread anything older (my writing style has changed so much + there's things i'd change about older fics esp <2020 so it's not an enjoyable experience to me, i'd just fret over editing it) but there's some newer fics i reread bc they are So written to my own taste. i think i really improved a lot getting to write a bunch in lockdown lol + started caring less about whether ppl liked the fic and just wrote for ✨Me✨ so several of those recent fics i'm happy with and do reread sometimes like a stupid idiot narcissus

The ones i've reread the most are "sit, stay" + "sea legs" + favorite parts of "ignite the stars" and my favorite parts of "the losing game". the other scattered pwp's since 2020 have gotten reread about twice each. and i recently reread WBIO for the first time since writing it in early 2020!!! mixed feelings on that one bc i felt like i would change some parts of it if i wrote it today but that's a sign ur growing and improving i suppose

(55) do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? oh i have so fucking many 'WIPs' it's not even funny. there's probably like ~12 completely bullet point outlined medium length / longfics in my docs down to exact dialogue i'd write, and dozens more fic attempts that have a whole plot and ending. bc as soon as i come up with an idea i already immediately know how i want it to end. which gives me way too many Plot Bunnies that are viable to be turned into fics!!!!! two years ago i made a list of every idea i thought should at least see the light of day in threadfic form if not an actual fic and it came out to 30 fics lol (and that was cutting it down to the essentials)

the thing is, very few of my WIPs are ever 'abandoned' in my mind, it's more like... i put them in my mental freezer. on hold / on ice. and some of them are closer to the front and get taken out and rotated around and worked on more often, while others are shoved to the far back of the freezer as i say "i'll make that someday" and forget it exists til the next time im reminded of it. there's only a few that i'd actually toss in the trash (aka truly abandon and never work on again).

the ones that are definitely abandoned in that i know i dont Want to write them are all on the more domestic romcom side (think like 'meaner than mean' or 'i like us like this') i know people like those but they're the hardest thing for me to write, those were the most annoyed i've ever felt while writing, i would literally groan out loud working on them, i am rly only happy writing conflict/angst or pwp lol

tbh, if i were to be realistic with myself, i'd say most of these wip's are 'abandoned' in that i probably will never get around to finishing them. but i dont want to call them abandoned because i do like the plots, and think ppl would like them, and want to share them!!! i just think they would suck / not be fun to write. Maybe Someday i will do an archival effort and work on translating as many of them as i can into threadfic form so they see the light of day in some format and are no longer abandoned to rot in my docs... bc there's no way that most of them are ever going to be written the way i wish i could do them justice :') and then i can abandon them knowing that ppl at least got to read a vague outline of what could have been

fun fact: i opened the aforementioned list of all these ideas to count and on one of them, a fic i've been poking at since 2018, i have the note "finish this or die" next to it. guess i know which one i've picked atp 🪦

#ask game

4 notes · View notes

nothbee · 1 year

Text

Do you ever think too hard about a relationship between two characters. Do you ever think abt the people one left behind. I do. I think about Marigold and Buttercup alot.

(Context:

Marigold; Scrybe of Stories; fucked up outlaw

Buttercup; Not a cow yet; Fucked up outlaw )

Marigold- Frequently bc of their VERY VERY Criminal actions as a well known outlaw, they’d go thru Partners in crime rlly quickly. Like either they’d die or they’d become a card or leave or whatever.

Marigold gets used to that

Shit doesnt last forever. Marigold Never Truly Lets themself be Known to someone else. The only memory of that they have is before they were a scrybe and friends with the beast one, which ended badly, because they became a scrybe and got amnesia.

So thats how they compartmentalize the world. Everything is a character. A puzzle. An arc to the next story. A means to the ends.

The introduction doesnt have to be ethical if the conclusion is what Marigold wants.

They live a fun life they enjoy, but one kind of… empty of connection and understanding. They can understand others deeply. They can even like, guess with Scary accuracy how theyll react in situations. But they know others will never know them in that way.

So enter scene new outlaw Buttercup.

Marigold locks onto this guy. Like. Hes like… 22 i think. Maybe? Hes 20 and Marigold goes ok my new pet project is to make this random guy open up to me, and usually thats something Marigold does in a few beers and a week as a hobby.

But Buttercups so emotionally constapated i dont think even he Knew what to open up abt.

So Marigold ends up becoming More and More invested in this guy, the longer Marigold tries to become friends with him and the longer hes , yknow, alive. And the pet project becomes ‘Quick friendship’ to ‘Become Genuine friends with this man’. None of Marigolds typical methods are working so guess they’ll have to be…gross. Honest.

Like imagine it kinda touch and go? Buttercup’ll do a crime that goes on the radar and Marigold will go oh sick and go over there in hopes of catching him, and then they’ll drag him on some outlaw adventure thats way fucking crazier then whatever he does and gets him into deeper shit later.

Marigold is genuinely the reason he starts opening up. Bc to Marigolds side, hes always kinda…idk. A brick wall. Getting words out of him that arent threats is an Accomplishment. Marigold probably doesnt even realize they’ve actually succeeded in becoming friends until Buttercup steps in to save Marigold from being killed or something.

And Marigolds like Oh. Shit. I accidentally invested way too much into this person because I was trying to get him to crack, but he never Cracked because his trust was something we slowly built up and earned. Fuck. And now its too late for me to bail because ill feel bad.

Afterwards they kinda just Happen Upon eachother every few months, do a crime or large month long scheme of Marigold’s, and then go their seperate nomad ways again, and honestly they were both happy with that. They’re friends but they’d actually strangle eachother if they were full time partners in crime.

And then Buttercup found Blair and Lottie. And became friends. And made connections. And then suddenly he was 1) becoming a cow 2) trying to…avoid doing crime?? Which was basically the same as Not Hanging out with Marigold. Which took Goldie awhile to realize hurt.

Like they just…didn’t talk for a year. And then I think they came upon eachother randomly while Buttercup had wandered away from Blair and Lottie’s campgrounds for a bit for some alone time and they had a Kinda Bitter conversation but. Like. Yknow when one party goes ‘no i dont want to do something stupid’ and then IMMEDIATELY go so something stupid?

So Buttercup ends up back on the. Erm. Criminal radar bc he got a bit fucked up and silly with Marigold bc he went ‘well fuck it. As long as im back b4 blair and lottie r up! Sure’. He basically had a new start bestowed to him in his hands but his bad habits and lifestyle before shanked him.

Look they’re soooo unhealthy for eachother its insane. They’ve fixed eachother in ways they’ll never realize. They’ve made eachother worse in ways that’ll never heal. Understand.

Buttercup eventually does look back, and. Ext time a year or so down the line Marigold finds Buttercup, I think Marigold and Bup have an argument abt .. like. Control?

Anyone that talks to Marigold basically becomes a butterfly effect. They’ll say something that’ll deeply effect someone else which will change something in the future and ect ect.

And Buttercup cracks abt his worries that Marigold idk. Yknow. Is a bit Fucking Manipulative and a bastard. And Marigold is Actually Hurt- because they purposely tried their damndest to NOT do that to Buttercup- or at least they never used their scrybe power to!! He was their test on if they COULD have a genuine relationship without underhanded actions. Marigold doesn’t know how to grapple with the fact it hurts Buttercup doesn’t believe them. You lie enough that every word out of your mouth is hearsay, and even your closest friends will doubt you. Maybe even yourself.

Was Marigold being truthful? Did they truly never say certain things or trap him in scenarios where the outcome favors them ? Can they trust themself when they say they didn’t?

Anhway when Buttercup Blair and Lottie disappeared and ended up in Sockscraft. Marigold didn’t Know that happenedfor awhile. So they just kinda assumed they were purposely avoiding giving any signs where they were just so Marigold wouldn’t find them.

Let me stress THATS THEIR ONLY FRIEND

Like they consider Buttercup to be their Only True Friend- but even then. Marigolds… never opened up to him.

Yeah. Buttercup picked stuff up from jokes and stories, but Marigold… idk. They put up enough walls upon walls that its hard to tell whats the protection and whats the house.

Marigold is completely caught off guard by how buttercup was the one who left them.

Marigolds always the one in control.

Marigold Knows where people go and Knows how to make them do what they want

And yet he still slipped out of their grasp.

This cements in their mind that what they were doing before meeting Buttercup was the smart thing. If you give people opportunities to leave then they’ll take them. Marigold’s emo phase. In reality they’re clearly unhappy and refusing to unrepress it.

Buttercup misses Marigold in the way you miss being a more naive person. A worse person. He misses being able to do awful things without feeling bad- just feeling happy hes with them and not thinking about why.

This gets worse when you dig into deeper feelings. They were definitely fruity in some fashion, but also very aromantic. Aroflux but your romantic feelings only lined up once in a blue moon and sometimes you weren’t even near eachother. And maybe you were just mixing up the joy of friendship and closeness for romance. Who knows!

Theyre destined to never really Be Together. Just like… There.

Like if u ever suggestted Getting Together Officially to the two of them they’d scrunch their nose and go Idk I dont feel romance things . Get out of my house

They’re always kinda.. its like. The comfort of knowing you have someone when you need someone and nothing more. This has always defined their relationship honestly.

These two make me mentally unwell. Very ill. Love loses. I hope I never see them again.

#Bee’z rambles #Buttercup Taloft #Marigold Scrybe of Stories #OC #these two are very queer #And awful. and i love them and i overthink them alllll the time #if yoh read that entire post ily #and also Please ask me questions abt them #i love to talking my ocs

2 notes · View notes