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#i think we should get twenty
t4twolfstar · 6 months ago
I am so deeply passionate about making sure everyone is aware of the concept of non concordance in sex that I put a note at the end of my smut when I (infrequently) post it lzkckskskdks
I’m like “and just a note! hardness/wetness does not equal arousal and softness/dryness does not equal being unaroused please go read come as you are by Emily nagoski your body is perfect as it is and there is nothing wrong with you also I hope you enjoyed reading about remus and Sirius getting railed in a gay trans way”
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lesbesitos · 6 months ago
i’m gonna rant in the tags don’t mind me
#so my lil sis is graduating this month and my mom and i went to get some stuff to make her those candy leis and stuff#and i get excited to craft so i was fine#but rn i’m just thinking abt how i never got a single lei for graduation or even eighth grade promotion#like i kinda get graduation bc i didn’t have one since i’m class of 2020 but i saw kids for the lil drive thru grad with some#all i had was one cord for music and my lil medal thing for music and that’s it#i get that music was all i really did in hs so i don’t have all these other things but my parents could’ve gotten me smth#and in eighth grade i had a cord for this state honor roll thing and that was all my parents didn’t get me anything again#for my sisters promotion she didn’t have a cord but my parents got her a money lei and one with flowers bc ‘she didn’t have anything’#okay yeah i guess so but i worked for my cord it’s not my fault she didn’t i should’ve gotten smth from my parents#and now my moms going all out for my sister but she has stuff to wear at grad too this time#she has her music senior cord her four year music medal and her vapa pathway cord which is smth new this year#and my moms making a bunch of stuff for my sis and her boyfriend and i’m hurt over it#and i shouldn’t be i should be happy for her graduating but i can’t help it#also i took music for seven years and my parents never got me flowers after a concert#never and i’ve had at least twenty five concerts not including band reviews so honestly it’s closer to thirty five#and my sisters first and only play she did my parents got her flowers#and when i told my mom that i never got flowers after a concert she goes ‘yeah you did! i’m pretty sure we did’#and i had to tell her that she didn’t and all she said was ‘oh’#EVEN AFTER THAT I STILL NEVER GOT FLOWERS#and i don’t want to make my mom sound bad she went to every concert in town but she easily could’ve gotten me flowers even once#so to see my mom putting in all this effort to give my sister stuff hurts#and i don’t wanna tell her bc i don’t wanna hurt my moms feelings bc i know she doesn’t mean it#but it sucks being middle child and it sucks missing out on such a big moment of ur life like hs graduation#rambles
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viridescent-lament · 5 months ago
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me currently in sensory hell bcs my cousins are over so we went to a restarunt at dinner rush on its busiet day and having to wait over an hour to be seated
#so fucking noisy that its makiing lights feel bad too gotdamn#love how just this morning i was talking to my psychiatrist about meds and compnay being over and when i ment either she brushed them ooff#when i borught it iʻupn she focused on explaing to me how se was strying to be helpful but because of the very resason we were discussi-#discussing these meds (sleep terrible for almost five days in a row) i couldnt understand what she was saying. then she ignores the#stuff about company completely. even thougj. i was telling here ‘here are coping slills i use but they never work i just do them’#and she goes :) im glad uou have strategies to get away from people when you need to :) just use those youll be fine#fucking#they dont help!!! im still ovewhelmed!!! even if they worked the fact that company is over means sdoing stuff like going to resteraunts!!!#where i cant fucking use those skills!!!#my head hurts so much i just want my sodypop to get here with the bubble that burn my thorat#i ment slepp stuff i dont know if ive ecplained yet#basically since i got off my med (running out not intentional) that keeps me awake#ibe been -hungrier (unpleasant) and -cannot fet a good sleep (? idk why a lessening dose of a stimilate makes me more awake but)#one night i woke up super early and couldnt go back to sleep well#the past couple nights ive been falling asleep. wake up. fall asleep. wake up. times like twenty its bullshit#i dont fet up i dont check time i just lay there and think ‘why the fuck am i awake’ until i drift off#at these times im not coherent so i cant even think ‘maybe i should get up. check time. get drink.’ all i know is its night im awake and -#ive been awake x times tonightʻ#which is why i was upset my psych was like ‘weʻll give you extra so you can take as neededʻ#which means a) waking up my grandmother in the middle of the night (who also struggles with sleep)#b) pit meds by bed (no table closest dresser full would need to get out of blanket pile and unscrew bottle and take pill)#c) if having couple nights bad sleep then take med (requires suffering through bad dleep first)#or d) ? (it was early morning im runninngon poor dleep i can barely undertsand words the more you say them to me#so all options require a) experience some bad sleep and suffer before med time#or b) be coherent enough when woken up to remember how to take meds (which im not because my brain isnt working at that moment)#tried explaining to pscyh but she was adamant that she was trying to hive me options#which is nice! and she is right that we r about to go on vacation so we may meed options. but it was early morning i had little sleep and#all my brain was saying ks that no ones listening and thats probably my fault becasue i wasnt explaing well but my brain was too tired to-#to explain#but whateve r i am fine im going to draw the cutest thing and it will be a mystery until its been done even to me
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yutadori · 6 months ago
thinking about that bad dentist experience made me realize..... i havent had a single positive dental experience???? that i can remember anyway . the last dentist i tried to see had a SIXTY dollar copay and i was like oh . well . i do Not have sixty dollars because . who would think a dental visit would cost that much . and when i told them i wasn’t going to go through with the appointment, they charged me a forty ? dollar cancellation fee <3 
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frecklydork · a year ago
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Old records remind me that something's not right Old records remind me of when things were fine
#Nick Blaemire#blaemire blogging#vent art#my art#*spends two hours on this instead of things I need to get done*#god you guys I'm doing so fucking badly I don't know how I'm gonna survive this one#my parents splitting but my mom still living here for one more month is killing me#usually listening to nick's voice makes me feel better but I think I spiraled too far#I should have listened to a more cheerful song but I didn't expect Old Records to be bittersweet#I can't believe I'm a child of divorce at the age of twenty-two?? without warning??#my mom doesn't want us anymore I just want her fucking gone then#she has so many friends and she has one friend who's literally my age who is just like me#and she talks to him all the time and treats him like he's her own fucking son#but i'm right here!!! i'm her daughter!!! she can't look at me for 22 years or even say i love you#but she says it SO EASILY to this kid she's known for like what a couple years?#and i hate how my dad keeps comparing my grief to his like... 'i have it worse' crap#im!!! hurting!!! too!!! let me grieve in peace stop telling me you have it worse!!!#its not a competition!!! aren't we supposed to be there for each other??#my parents were never close with me they never made an effort#i don't know why i expected my dad to reach out to me but i thought something would click#i've just been rereading nick's note over and over and over trying to make it sink in#he told me to live a long and happy life so i can meet him but i dont know how long i can hold on
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allisoinreynolds · a year ago
pls ignore the tags i am once again using my tumblr blog as a way for unwinding
#me: well maybe things are calming down#my mom: does smth again#me: nvm#god she's. we're struggling to pay for food and she's like 'i want to change the car'#and my dad is without a job bc like. pandemic#so he's doing everything around the house#so she can focus on work#(and when i say everything i mean: everything. and my mom will clean one room every two weeks or buy groceries once#and she'll go 'i do EVERYTHING around here' when he does it and i'm the one who taught my brother and took care of him now#that we were on lockdown and i just)#and instead of thinking 'we need to get through this time' she's trying to convince him to give her like 5000 dollars to buy a new car#and i'm like? he has no medical coverage he has a very bad phone he's sleeping in a horrible mattress bc they don't sleep#in the same bed anymore. he's pillow literally falls apart and instead#of being 'hm maybe i should be supporting of him in this time#since we're like a family. and he worked all this time and gave us all the money bc again: family'#she's decided to pressure him to try and find a job when we're in the middle of a pandemic and nobody's hiring#and he started teaching in an uni so hopefully he'll get paid next semester#but she's going like 'he never worked in the last ten years' and i'm like?? i know you're lying?? i'm twenty one??#anyways. i've ranted now it's fine. i just can't wait to be able to afford my own place like a one bedroom apartment? of my own?#that's the dream right there#(not to mention her insulting me at one point and then trying to be nice and i'm like. stop. god. and honestly#it's kinda my fault bc i'll latch unto any positive interaction i have with her and it's just. anyways. i just want to move out)#anyways i'm gonna stop bc instead of unwinding i'm becoming more emotional and it's like. not the idea when i started writing this#i should be focusing on uni but i just. had to rant somewhere#like i'm not here but i just. needed to rant.
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fightsbck · 2 years ago
#ok im. gonna ramble for one sec. but fuck i have?? a headache#and i dont. feel so good. but i dont think its from stress or anything#OKAY it /is/ because of stress. but only because i made this ridiculous deal#like?? a date?? idk. but i feel so. ashamed. and i feel. so bad about it#because basically (and idk if this boy is Slow or just. doesnt get it.) but like#he asked me out? yesterday? and i didnt wanna agree cause thursday's my day off#and i was planning on '''''studying''''' since i have exams this friday#and i only put quotation marks because like. i know im gonna procrastinate but still. like. its MY day. i dont wanna spend it on somebody el#**else.   but this dude......... just doESNT get the hint so i ended up caving in and said yes#and my mom cornered me yesterday until i told her who im going out with and its so. (fuck and im gonna sound mean) disgusting#because i dont WANT to go on this stupid thing. i feel so ashamed that i have to#because im allowing myself to go out with a guy who can't even chill out and like. i even proposed we went out another day#but suddenly he has to go somewhere so OF COURSE we cant BOTHER his schedule. just mine. my exams are no biggie i guess!#and i feel so frustrated. i dont?? need a date. i dont give a shit im cynical. i don't want one. i dont care for a boy's feelings#ive had enough trying to handle my own shit & my elitist movie friends. and im so TIRED of spending money on shit i dont want to do / go to#and like... this isn't even the first time. like a few months ago this same boy tried asking me out. but i cant adapt to the schedule he wan#**wants so he ghosted me LMAO like.............. and now i have to go out with this loser who cant even tolerate or be understandable?#GOD I KNOW I SOUND SO MEAN IM SORRY i just...... i just feel so weak. because i prided myself in being somewhat stable#i dont have uhh dramas / i dont care for people who gave me 0 shit in return / but it felt like all of those twenty years of finally#learning to prioritise my need. to realise i should put myself and the friends i treasure first. are all wasted because of this one stupid#** boy.   but whatever... yeah i just. wanna ramble lmao#wish me luck ig !#negativity tw#out of character.
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wherefancytakesme · 3 years ago
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Trending Twenty-Seventh: What kind of WOY merchandise would you like to get?
There were many things the Wander Over Yonder crew intended to get made, but couldn’t. Some of them did get made, but were event-exclusive. And... Some were never thought of, but a lot of people like myself think they would be great ideas! -For one, the three T-shirts pictured here were supposed to be part of the WOY images in the personalization section of the Disney store. For some reason, they never made it. I WANT THESE ON MY STUFF! -Then we have these awesome toy ideas as shown in the sketches! Who wouldn’t want a Hater hoodie and talking toys?! -Also, a Wander hat exists! I would love to see that in stores some day! Along with the SDCC buttons and posters that were once given out. Man would it be great if these weren’t a one-time thing... -And finally, some fans have made their own plushes! What I’d honestly love most out of all the non-existent WOY merch would be some soft huggable versions of the main characters! ‘Cause they’re all so worth hugging.
Keep up the good work, y’all! Here’s a link to the merch you can buy, along with the links to buy the show on Amazon if you’re willing. Take care, everyone!
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galwaygremlin · 9 days ago
need to go to harbor freight. want to go to harbor freight. will fit in and be completely at home in a harbor freight. cannot summon the energy to Leave My House, Drive, Talk To People, And Purchase Things
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soulmemes · 7 months ago
simping softness prompts.
basically i got shippy and now there's these soft little prompts for romantic, platonic, and yearning situations!! use them at your leisure!
" you're shivering. here, take my jacket. "
" you... sorry, you just got a little something on your face... here, let me get it for you. "
" hey, so... i know you haven't been feeling great, so i picked up a few of your favorite snacks, drinks... "
" you stayed? "
" well, of course i stayed. you're here, where else would i be? "
" oh! i found this in the mall, i figured it might be something you'd like! "
" hey, everything's gonna be fine. stay where you are, i'm on my way. "
" wow... you look... you look amazing. "
" we should grab some coffee together, sometime. "
" holy crap, i thought you were dead! never do that to me again! "
" i made some breakfast, if you're hungry? "
" your hands are freezing! let me warm them up... "
" i knew you wouldn't go to sleep willingly, so i brought you some chamomile tea and a blanket. twenty minutes of shut-eye, okay? "
" it's okay. i promise you, i will be here when you wake up. "
" hey! hey, hey, it's alright! it's okay, my darling/friend/love, i'm here, i've got you... "
" i'll walk you home. "
" you need a lift? "
" i... sometimes, i guess i kinda wish you could see yourself through my eyes. "
" i see you still have my shirt! "
" i got starbucks. this is your favorite, isn't it? "
" you look like you could use a hug. "
" okay, quit it with the drinks. i think that's enough, hmm? i'll cover the tab, but for now, let's get you home... "
" i'm not letting you sleep on the couch. come on. get under the blankets. "
" i mean... i-i'm cool with sharing the bed if you are. "
" you were in a really bad way, i wasn't about to abandon you. "
" hey... you've been crying. "
" don't think i won't carry you if i have to! "
" of course i noticed. i notice everything about you. "
" i knew you wouldn't bring a jacket, so i made sure to color co-ordinate with you so you could wear mine on the way home. "
" please, talk to me... it kills me seeing you like this. "
" i got a reservation at that fancy italian place you like. come on. get ready, we can get there in time if we get dressed now! "
" he/she/they were an idiot. you're amazing, and if they can't see that, that's on them. "
" i'd happily go kick their arse, but i don't think that would help you. "
" you don't owe me anything. "
" i wish i could just freeze time. let this moment be forever. "
" i got you some flowers. but, if you have allergies, i also got fake flowers! just in case. "
" you realise you don't need to ask my permission, don't you? "
" what's mine is yours. always. "
" i don't know precisely what i did to earn your presence in my life, but... i'd do it a thousand times over if i knew what it was. "
" yes, these last few years have been a living hell, but... i'd live them a thousand times over if it meant you being safe and happy. "
" i don't care about everyone else! i care about you, [NAME]!"
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katsupeach · 5 months ago
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summary: on a routine mission, you and bakugou are trapped under a falling building. it leads to some, stunning revelations. pro hero reader and pro hero bakugou, mid twenties.
a/n: smut, praise, degredation, daddy kink, love, infidelity, reader is kirishima’s GF, unprotected sex, hurt, angst, comfort. 
wc: 4999
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Bakugou: you have to tell her. Today. 
Kirishima: it was an accident! 
Bakugou: did you trip and fall into your exes pussy?
Kirishima: fuck, dude you’re supposed to be on my side.
Bakugou: I’m right. And you know it. You tell her today.
Kirishima: she’s gonna hate me. 
Kirishima: do you think I could convince her to not dump me?
Bakugou: yeah, I think you could.
Bakugou follows you into the lower level of the parking garage, keeping a few steps behind you, glancing over his shoulder, frowning in the darkness as his phone beeps. He glances at it. 
Kirishima: god that would be amazing
Kirishima: she gives soul sucking head, man 
Bakugou: you’ve mentioned. 
“Stop.” You say quickly. “Don’t move.” For anyone else, Bakugou might have instinctively waved his arms, or jumped as high and landed as hard as he could, but for you, and only for you he grunts, and waits for whatever you’re sensing. He watches as you activate your quirk, glowing softly and lifting a few feet in the air, closing your eyes as he feels you search the area. 
“We alone?” He asks after a long moment. 
“We are,” you breathe, disbelief coloring your voice, “Somethings,” you pause, “Something’s wrong.” Bakugou’s tongue swipes over his lower lip as he thinks. 
“We followed ‘em here,” He growls eventually, “We’re in enemy territory for sure, but ya don’t usually spook like this.” He watches you realize it at the same time that it happens, your eyes shoot open and your lips part, to speak to give him the information that he’s already gathering as the garage collapses around you. He moves a millisecond faster than the falling debris, tackling you out of the way of a huge slab of concrete, as the building falls. All you can do is cling to him as he expertly navigates the disaster zone, leaping and diving out of the way of falling cars, taking his free hand and blowing a gigantic mini van to smithereens, his other arm locked on  your waist as he dives out of the way of a collapsing column. You both hit the ground and slide across the ground, Bakugou shielding your body with his own as there are more loud crashes. Neither of you moves until the deafening crashes quiet, the air filled with dust. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, and when his heart rate calms a little, he can feel your face pressed to his skin. 
“Are you alright?” You whisper. Bakugou wiggles a little in the darkness, feeling each of his limbs, testing the joints. 
“M’alright.” He says in a low growl, lifting his head and looking around. You’re in a little cavern, pressed against tilted pavement, heads higher than your feet, less than 10 inches of clearance between you and the car engine above your heads, not enough room for Bakugou to lay on his side. “You ok?” 
“Um,” You breathe, eyes fluttering open. “My head hurts.” He pulls up off of you a little, inspecting you carefully. 
“Shit,” He says lowly, as he sees a light trickle of blood on  your forehead, “I wasn’t fast enough.” 
“You were incredible.”  You say, voice hoarse, holding him tighter, shaking a little. “Don’t move too much, this is fragile. We were, incredibly lucky.” He nods, then looks away. 
“Sorry.” He says. “Shouldn’t be holdin’ you like this.” You laugh, and the sound tinkles though the quiet. 
“I don’t think Eijirou would mind.” Bakugou watches the gentle warmth wash over your face as you say Eijirou, relief that you feel that should be contagious when he hears you say his best friend's name. “Speaking of, I’m sure he’s coming to get us right now.” You close your eyes, relaxing against the pavement. “Sorry that I didn’t sense the explosives sooner, I’m kind of in my head.” 
“What’s goin’ on?” He asks and he watches surprise bloom on your face. 
“It’s not like you to care how other people are doing?” 
“Bored.” Bakugou says, still refusing to look at you, shifting his weight, keenly aware of the contours of your soft body against his. “C’mon.” He grunts. “What’s up?” 
“Kirishima said he needed to tell me something.” 
“I um,” You squirm underneath Bakugou. “I’m nervous.” You look at the way Bakugou is holding his body over yours. “You can relax, I don’t expect you to hold a plank until Eij gets here.” Bakugou reluctantly lowers his hips on top of yours thinking of the most disgusting things possible, of Deku, of his parents kissing, of-
“Oh,” you make a noise as his weight presses some air out of your lungs, and then he can feel you giggle against him. Fuck. “Yeah so,” you whisper, faces inches from each others, “I’m nervous I think, um, I think he might want to move in with me.” Bakugou no longer has to concentrate on the blood flowing from his brain to his crotch because he’s certain his heart has stopped beating. 
“Yeah he’s been really attentive lately, like whenever he works late he sends me flowers in the morning, and he’s always telling me how much he cares about me.” You sigh happily. “And I don’t know how to tell him I’m not ready.’ 
“To move in with him?” When Bakugou speaks there’s another loud crash and he covers your body with his again, dust falling around the two of you while you tremble beneath him. There’s another minute of silence.
“I’m sure that’s them looking for us.” You say softly. “Bakugou.” The blonde doesn’t lift his head from your neck, you smell like sunshine and honey, and his best friends shampoo. “I love him, you know I just need more time.” Bakugou nods again, and then you hear a soft vibration. 
“Holy shit,” he says in a low rasp, “Could my fuckin’ phone be workin’?” You giggle again and the sound is so bright and clear, so at odds with your situation, with the darkness and the dust. “It’s in my back pocket, can  you reach it?” You nod, and he supports his own weight above you again, grateful for the distance, that is until you scoot dow underneath him, reaching your hands up onto his back and taking  his cell phone out of his pocket, and holding the cracked screen up, the text barely legible. 
“It’s Eij!” You squeal, and the excitement in your voice rips his heart out, but then your face falls to match his mood. “Oh no, they’ve engaged villains above us. It’ll be awhile.” You attempt to swipe to unlock his phone and he realizes what’s waiting for you and nearly loses consciousness, collapsing on top of you and swatting the phone away without thinking. It clatters into the unknown and you scowl at him. “Bakugou what the fuck?” 
“It was an accident!” He lies poorly, and you know what, fuck it, fuck Kirishima, he fucking deserved it. “My arms are tired.” He stops holding himself up at all and lays directly on top of you, slotting a thigh between yours, laying his head on his bicep, so that you have to rest your face on the ground. You wince a little at the pure weight of his body on you, but you’re not distracted. 
“No it wasn’t, what the fuck was that?” You say turning your face to him, so close you bump noises in the dusty darkness. 
“It was an accident.” He bares his teeth at you when he spits the word and you shake your head, eyes narrow and cold. 
“You have the highest athletic intelligence of anyone I’ve ever met,” You hiss, and your breath is warm on his face. “Why would you throw your own phone?” He inhales through his nose, screwing his face up, taking one moment to savor just how fucking good your body feels pressed up against his. 
“I can’t tell you.” He says finally. 
“Really?” You raise your eyebrows, and then concern bleeds onto your face. “Bakugou, if, if the league has something on  you, on Eij, on anyone, I’d have your back, I’d help you, I know you’re a good man, you’d never betray-” 
“That’s not it.” He barks so loudly that there’s another crumbling of dust and instinctively you hide your face in his chest, letting out a small whimper. “I’m sorry,” he breathes cradling you to his body, “I’m sorry I shouldn’ta yelled.” 
“It’ll be a while.” You mumble, not absolving him. “Before we’re out of here, so if you could try not to be an asshole, I know you don’t like me.” He blinks at you. “I know you don’t so don’t try to deny it, you’re respectful at work, and nice when Eij brings you around-” 
“Stop calling him that.” The words tumble out of Bakugou’s mouth before he can stop them and your eyebrows move downward as your lips press together. 
“I knew it.” You mutter, pulling as far away from him as you can get in the small cavern, “I knew you didn’t like me, because you’re in love with him.” Bakugou’s eyes shoot open, he blinks a couple times, not sure he heard you right. 
“You’re in love with him.” You say petulantly. “And it’s obvious, you never want to spend time with the us, you’ve been distant, any time I come in the room you fucking leave,” he groans and mashes the heels of his palms into his eyesockets, “Don’t deny it.” You continue, “You asked last week if Jeanist wouldn’t put us on any missions together! I heard you, I was outside the office.” 
“Fuck!” Bakugou snarls, and another cloud of dust and small rocks rainst down, this time on the two of you but he fully shields your body under his own, his face inches from yours. “Fuck, fuckin’ Kirishima, jesus fuckin’ Christ.” 
“So it’s true?” You breathe, and he watches as crystalline tears form in your beautiful innocent eyes, pupils wide in the darkness, cleaning some of the dust off of your face. He rolls his eyes. 
“No, you absolute fuckin’ moron.” He snaps. “You’re so goddamn stupid sometimes, you know that, you’re so fuckin’ blind, you love so easily, you give and you  give and you give, and it’s never goddamn transactional, I, I can tell  you’re not keepin’ score of how often you make shitty hair lunch versus how often he’s late to dates you have planned, I can tell you barely notice that he only does nice shit for you as apology,” you balk at this, opening your mouth to disagree, then closing it. “I can tell you don’t see that he’s not fuckin’ listenin’ to you when you talk about, about basic goddamn shit, about groceries, about your family, I,” He closes his eyes, and feels the weight of the cars and the concrete and it feels nothing compared to the weight of the words on his tongue. “And he’s cheating on you.” You swallow. 
“He’s been sleeping with Momo. From college. Creati.” Bakugou says. “And you get flowers after, and taken to dinner, and swept of your goddamn feet because Red Fuckin’ Riot’s such a goddamn nice guy.” You swallow, there’s a silence. You’re looking at Bakugou but your eyes are glossy and unfocused. “I’m sorry.” He says. “I’m sorry, I uh,” he looks away, “Wish I were in love with him.” You close your eyes. 
“I wish I could be alone right now.” 
“I’m sorry.” Bakugou says again, voice deep and husky. “I shouldn’t-” 
“You should have, sooner.” You say, and he watches you make a heroic effort to keep the ends of your lips from curling down, and then bring your hands to your face. “Oh my god,” you choke out a sob, “Oh my god, I love him so much. Oh my god.” The sound of your sobs echo in the the small space, and all he can do is watch you fall apart underneath him. 
“I’m sorry.” He repeats for a third time. You barely hear him, crying with your whole chest as the future you’d imagined yourself into, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, I shouldn’t have, I mean, fuck.” He’s kicking himself, the chasm between  you deepens as you keep crying and he wants to touch you, he wants to cup  your soft cheeks in his rough, dirty hands, but he doesn’t want to soil your perfect face.  He throws caution to the wind. “Can I-” 
“Please,” you beg, throwing your arms around his neck and sobbing into his shirt. He crushes you against him, rubbing circles into your back. 
“Sorry I called you a fuckin’ moron, you’re not, he,” Bakugou struggles with his words. “He shoulda told you. After the first time.” 
“How many times?” You say, voice raw and broken, he can feel your lips move against his chest. 
“I don’t know.” Bakugou says. 
“Is it because,” you mumble into his chest, “Is it because she’s prettier?” Bakugou barks out a laugh and then quickly realizes you were serious. 
“Wait, is that a fuckin’ joke?” He pulls you away from him so that he can look you in the eyes. “No, you, ah,” you’re flushed, he can barely make out the high plains of your face in the low light. “You’re so beautiful.” He breathes, wiping your face clean with his sleeve. “He just, he’s never happy with what he has.” You laugh, the sound is bitter but promising. 
“Yeah, he’s pretty jealous of you.” Bakugou cocks his head. “The whole hero rankings thing’s totally gotten to him.” 
“Huh.” Bakugou feels your hips against his, praying for the wherewithal to keep the blood in his body above his waist. 
“So wait, if um, you don’t hate me,” you ask, “Why didn’t you want to do missions with me anymore?” You sniff a little and he holds the elbow of his costume out, letting you wipe your nose on it. 
“You’re disgusting.” He informs you and you laugh a little, the slightest edge of joy to the sound, though your voice is still tight from crying. “I uh,” he closes his eyes, fuck it, fuck it, he could die here, you both could die, at any fucking moment in here, “I’m uh, I’m in love with you.”
You couldn’t have been more surprised if the rocks around you gave way and crushed your bodies. 
“I’m in love with you,” he mutters, looking away, “I love the stupid shit you do for shitty hair, I love the way your nose scrunches when you laugh, I love how goddamn powerful you are, how you don’t take shit from anyone, I love that no matter what you eat it ends up all over your fuckin’ face, I love-” 
“Katsuki,” you say, eyes wide, “I didn’t-” 
“Of course you didn’t,” Anxiety seizes his chest, outwardly manifesting as self immolation, “Of course you fuckin’ didn’t because I’m a goddamn incredible liar, and an even better hero and I don’t wanna hear bullshit from the comission about me needing to learn restraint when I have gone this fuckin’ long without pinning you to the wall and showing you who should goddamn be takin’ care of you, because it’s nearly killed me on more than one fuckin’ occasion.” His voice his a touch higher than usual, wounded and raw. There’s a pause. 
“When um, when did you know?” He thinks about it, savoring the squish of the fat on your hips underneath his strong fingers, well aware he’s never going to have another chance to touch you. 
“Remember when you brought him lunch, and uh, he wasn’t in?” You nod. “I texted him, but he said I could eat it. And I found the little note you left him.” 
“Oh god,” You bury your face in his chest. “Which one?” 
“You’d uh,” He laughs a little, “You’d written him just, about your morning, and about how you missed him, and the ink was smudged, like you’d been in a rush that morning, and I thought, how uh, nice it would be, to make lunch, for someone like that, and have them open it at work, and know uh, that I gave enough of a shit about them to cut their sandwich into triangles even though I was runnin’ late.” 
“Huh.” You swallow, nestling against him in the darkness. 
“Fuckin’ what?” He snaps. “What, go ahead and laugh at me?” You tilt your head up towards his. 
“No it’s just I thought, you’d be thinking about what it would be like to have someone make the lunch for you, not the opportunity to make the lunch.” He looks at you like you're insane. 
“No, no the point is you get to make the lunch, you get to do shit like that for the people you love, to bring them like, you know a little fuckin’ joy or some dumb shit like that.” You laugh then, and it’s the happiest noise he’s heard in a few minutes. “Gonna say anything,” he asks gruffly, “About me bein’ in love with you?” 
“I genuinely never considered it.” You say honestly, and his heart starts to break in his chest. 
“Yeah uh,” He says. “I get it. If you like shitty hair I’m sure I’m not your type.” 
“Um, actually,” You chew your lower lip and the damn breaks, he feels himself start to get hard in his pants, it’s a miracle he’s lasted this long anyway, with you, this close to him, with the way he can feel your breasts against his body, the way his hands feel on  your back. “When you were at U.A. University, I used to watch the sports festivals.” He pulls away so that he can look you in the eyes, hands moving to hold you, to keep you from squirming away from his harsh gaze. “I used to think, um, I used to have this like, girlish crush on you.” 
“Really?” He breathes, scarcely bringing himself to believe it, searching your face for hints of dishonesty, and you let out this feminine little giggle, trying to hide from him and look away but he’s holding you too tight. 
“I just, you were so um, manly I guess, for lack of a better word, you always won, and I um, I thought about, what it would be like, to be with the man who always won.” He moves one hand from your back and cups your face, stroking your cheek. 
“Really,” he says, in a low growl, “Of all the clout chasin’,” you giggle again, writhing at his touch, “College co ed bullshit,” his lips brush your jaw, “You wanted to be with the man who always won?” 
“I liked how you’d snarl at the reporters after.” You admit, speaking into his lips at this point. “I liked how even though you could have relied on power,” you breathe, “You never did, you always,” you feel his hand slip lower, taking a fistful of your ass, “You always had a strategy.” 
“I didn’t say stop talkin’.” He growls. “When you were touchin’,” he moves down a bit, “That pretty little pussy of yours, dreamin’ about me, what were you thinkin’?” You feel his mouth on your cheek, your ear, and you gasp, reaching for the words, he’s so close to you. 
“I used to imagine,” you feel the swipe of his tongue on your skin, you grind your hips against his thigh, “That you’d push me down on my bed,” 
“Like this?” He ask, wrapping a hand around your throat and pushing you back down to the ground and your breath hitches, your pupils blow wide. 
“Yes, just like that,” you roll your hips against him now, “And I would think about your hands,” you moan, face hot, “Slipping under my panties,” he trails two fingers down your body, reaching under the skirt of your hero costume. 
“And how would I touch you,” he breathes, slipping your panties to the side, his breath hot on your skin. 
“Ah,” you moan as he parts your folds, “Softly at first,” you feel his teeth sink into  your neck, “Like, you wanted to take your time with me.” He chuckles, and you feel another burning kiss on  your neck. 
“Oh princess,” you hear him growl, “You bet that sweet ass of yours I do.” His grip on your neck tightens as you feel him start to circle your clit without touching it, gently teasing you. “You’re fuckin’ drippin’,” he chides, “Tell me what would happen next, fuckin’ pervert.” 
“Th-then,” you say, “I used to imagine your f-fingers, um,” you look away embarrassed and he releases your throat and holds your face as he starts to rub at your puffy clit. 
“Uh, uh,” He says, eyes flashing, “Tell me what you want baby, use your damn words.” Your eyes tear up again at the humiliation of  it but your part your lips and keep going, 
“I um, then you’d fuck me with them,” you say, voice barely above a whisper, “And it would be better than touching myself, because,” you back arches as he picks up the pace on your clit just a little, “Fuck, Katuski,” you mewl, “Because they were so much bigger than my own.” 
“Like this?” He asks, dipping two fingers into your soaking, aching core, his other hand drifting back to your neck. “You’re soaking,” he says roughly, and you moan loudly, barely hearing him. He curls his fingers inside of you and you keen for him, ears ringing as he sends wave after wave of pleasure through your body, you can’t sit still, you writhe underneath his touch. “What next, princess, talk to me.” 
“Then I would picture,” you gasp, “I’d picture you climbing on top of me,” he shifts his weight, bracing himself on his elbows, hovering over you, lips on yours, but not quite kissing you. You go to move your mouth against his, but he pulls away, smirking, flashing his sharp canines. “Katsuki,” you whine and he shakes his head. 
“I’m not gonna do it until you beg me.” He growls, “So open that pretty little mouth of yours, and tell me how badly you want my cock.” 
“Katsuki,” you bite down hard on your lower lip, now actively fucking yourself on his fingers, rolling your hips, “Please, I want you to fuck me, I want it, I want your cock so bad, I’m, I’ve thought about it, I’ve thought about you when,” that’s enough for him, he cuts you off before reaching down and unzipping his pants, freeing his length, hard and purple with need. He rubs it against your softness, pressing the head to your swollen clit, and you let out a loud whine, 
“Patience, princess,” he growls, “One last thing,” you nod emphatically, tears running down  your dusty cheeks, uncomfortably warm in the hot space, “In those filthy little daydreams of yours, did you call me, Katsuki?” His mouth hovers above yours, the promise of release weighing heavily on both of your minds. 
“N-no,” you admit. He grins evilly. “I um,” you close your eyes, and he allows you this small dignity as you say, “I called you daddy.” 
“Daddy huh?” You feel him sheath himself inside you and the breath leaves your lungs in a hot, startled gasp. “Daddy.” He repeats. “You dirty fuckin’ slut,” he groans and you lift your head to kiss him, and he finally allows it, lips meeting yours with a feverish desire. You wrap your arms around his neck. 
“Ah, oh god,” with every snap of his hips against yours you reach a higher ecstasy, grateful that your loud cries are being muffled by the rocks and debris around you, “Daddy, daddy, please,” you beg into his mouth, “Please don’t stop, please,” he groans loudly, 
“Feel s’good baby,” he chokes out, “Want you so goddamn badly,” You feel his grip on your shoulders tighten, “Been thinkin,” he snarls, “About your tight fuckin’ cunt,” he bites down on  your neck, animalistic grunts and growls filling the air, “Every goddamn night, since ya met him.” 
“Daddy, please,” you warble, “Wanna cum, please, please can I cum?” 
“No,” he snaps, “You’re gonna cum with daddy, I wanna feel you cum on my goddamn cock,” he picks up the pace, slamming himself into you, you can feel his heavy balls smacking against your ass. 
“Please,” you beg again, you’re teetering on the edge, and Bakugou shudders, with the wet walls of your pussy squeezing him every time his head kisses your cervix he’s barely holding on. 
“No.” He says again, “Fuck, baby, feel s’good,” he presses more burning open mouthed kisses on  your neck, your hands tangled in his hair, pulling hard as you hold on for dear life. His cock hits you at the perfect angle, slamming against that bundle of nerves inside of you with merciless abandon, and he knows it, if you squeeze your eyes open you know he can tell that he’s making a complete mess of you. He kisses you again, hard and sloppy, he can’t get enough of how fucking soft you are againist every calloused part of him, he’s dreamed about this so much, and killed himself for it, he can’t believe you’re really writhing underneath him. The thought of the nights he’d fucked his fist to the imagination of your silhouette, to the dream of the warmth of your skin. 
“Daddy,” you plead, and this time, he relents, kissing you hard again before speaking.
“Go ahead slut,” he snarls, “Cum on my cock, go on I wanna fuckin’ feel you.” You let go of the hot coil in  your stomach with a loud whine, voice dripping with desperation. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you swear as your orgasm cuts through you, your vision whiting out as your cunt flutters around Bakugou’s cock. He chases his own high, thrusts becoming sporadic, his grunts less human and more wild. You cling to him, as you feel him become impossibly hard inside you, and let go. There’s a few minutes where the only noise is your soft breathing, the sound of your lips brushing, your little gasps as you curl inward, finding the places where your souls concave, with the soft intimacy of those who know that things will change when the first person shatters the silence. Bakugou leans over you, brushing some hair from your face. He watches the words form behind your eyes before you speak. 
“We shouldn’t have done that. Eij is gonna freak.” Your beautiful face is painted with worry, and despite yourself, you curl into his chest. “Bakugou he’s going to be so upset with me.” 
“I’ll take care of it.” Bakugou snarls, with more malice than he means. “He’s not gonna say shit to you.” You blink a few times and he kisses you softly. “Consider it done.” 
“You would do that for me?” You ask, aware now, of the shards of light, peeking through into your hideaway. 
“Been a long time comin’.” Bakugou says, pressing his lips to your forehead. He traces patterns on  your back, while the two of you lie in the darkness. It feels different, being with Bakugou like this, before he seemed to be all sharp edges, cutting the people around him on his broken parts, but in this moment, you feel like you understand a bit more, that he has the capacity to be soft. “Seems like your head was a surface wound.” You nod, swallowing. 
“You saved my life.” He puffs out his chest a little. 
“That’s my job.” You laugh a little, and the two of you move closer together as the crashes become louder, and when dust starts to fall on the two of you again, Bakugou flips around, holding his palms towards the rocks above, and when things start to crumble around you he lets off a huge blast, as big as you’ve ever seen, coating both of you in dust and smoke. When it clears, you’re curled into his chest, a leg hooked around his waist, face buried in your neck. You hear a loud whoop, and Kirishima, Denki and Jirou stand on top of the debris.
“I fucking told you they were fine!” He skates down the pile of gravel and pulls you off of Bakugou, planting a kiss on your grey streaked face. Bakugou leaps up to get between you but a bright blue glow emanates from your body before energy starts rolling off of you in cerulean waves. Kirishima is blown back from you, slamming against the wall hard enough to leave cracks in the cement. “What the fuck babe,” he says, as Denki moves forward to grab your arm but Bakugou catches his elbow, and you speak, 
“You cheated on me?” A hush falls over the group and the only sound is the camera clicks of a few extremely intrepid paparazzi members. For a second, it looks like you’re going to hit him, but you soften. “Eij,” your voice wobbles, “Why?” The camera sounds intensify and Kirishima flashes his palms. 
“I never meant to hurt you.” 
“Why,” you gasp, lip trembling. “Why wasn’t I enough for you?” 
“That’s not,” he pauses, “It wasn’t about that.” His eyes flick to the reporters, their numbers growing. “Baby,” he says, opening his arms, “C’mere, okay, I want, I need you to come here.” You shake your head, and close your eyes. 
“It’s um,” you laugh lightly. “It’s fine, because,” you giggle, and Bakugou’s face breaks into a wide sneer. “It’s fine,” you laugh harder, “Ah,” you turn around, and Bakugou hops up to the main level and snakes his arm around your waist. 
“Sorry, bro.” He says, co opting Kirishima’s catchphrase, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Don’t think fuckin’ your ex was very manly of you.” 
“What the fuck,” Kirishima yells, running after the two of you as Bakugou casually leads you out of the disaster zone. “Hey, what the fuck did you do with my girlfriend, Bakugou, what the fuck?!” Bakugou leans down and growls in your ear. 
“Seems like ya didn’t need me after all.” You cling to his arm. 
“Good thing I want you anyway.” 
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david-talks-sw · 3 months ago
How the “Obi-Wan failed Anakin” subplot was retconned by George Lucas.
So an argument I see a lot in some “Obi-Wan failed Anakin” posts is saying “Ben failed Luke’s father, he said it himself in ROTJ”.
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Now, while I could simply quote LucasFilm creative executive Pablo Hidalgo, who tweeted in 2017...
“If a fictional character thinks something, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right.”
... and leave it at that, I think it’s interesting to see just how far the “Obi-Wan failed Anakin” subplot went with Lucas, before he retconned it into something else entirely.
The original subplot:
In a story conference for Episode VI that was first transcribed in 1981 and later collected in The Making of Return of the Jedi (2013), Lucas discussed this with Lawrence Kasdan and Richard Marquand:
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“Ben [takes] the blame for Vader. “I should have given him more training. I should have sent him to Yoda, but I thought I could do it myself. It was my own pride in thinking that I could be as good a teacher as Yoda. I wish that I could stop the pestilence that I’ve unleashed on the galaxy.” His burden is that he feels responsible for everything that Vader has done.”
And in an interview done with in 1996, collected in the book The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005 (which I highly recommend getting, so insightful) Lucas discussed how he planned on portraying Obi-Wan in one of the earliest screenplay drafts for The Phantom Menace:   
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“The story has Obi-Wan as a young Jedi in his mid-twenties. He’s ambitious and takes on the mentorship of this kid who starts out about eight or nine years old. […] Even though he’s too old to start the training of a Jedi, Obi-Wan feels the Force is so strong with him that he has to train him as a Jedi. […] Obi-Wan begins as this strong Jedi character but when you see all six movies, you’ll see that what Ben is doing with Luke is very close to the same mistake he made with Anakin.”
So Obi-Wan was the only Jedi we saw for the first half of the script.
And, by the way... he wasn’t always in his mid-twenties. As concept artist Ian McCaig puts it:
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“Obi-Wan’s age changed all over the place — at one point he was substantially older, like a youngish 50. For a long time we had a character who was samurai-like, with a ponytail and long sideburns.”
So hey, bottom line (and as illustrated below by artist Doug Chiang):
Obi-Wan, alone, comes to negotiate with the Trade Federation. Just like he and Qui-Gon did in the final cut, he fights his way off the ship, he rescues the Queen...
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... and he finds Anakin. 
He is impressed by his skills with the Force. He decides to bring him to the Jedi and he insists that Anakin should be trained.
So far, this is consistent with what is mentioned in Return of the Jedi, and it’s clear that, at this point in time, the narrative Lucas was originally going for was the notion that: “In his ambition and arrogance, Obi-Wan trained Anakin but overestimated his own abilities as a teacher, which ultimately resulted in the creation of Darth Vader.”  
Bringing in Qui-Gon:
But months later, when tackling a newer draft of the script, Lucas decided to split Obi-Wan’s impact on the story into two… and that’s when he made the decision to give a bigger role to another Jedi who originally appeared much later in the film. 
Thus was created a Jedi mentor for Obi-Wan called Qui-Gon Jinn.
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“I wasn’t able to develop Obi-Wan’s character fast enough. When I got through the rough draft I realized that I had a second Jedi that comes in about halfway through the script who is an interesting character and the more I thought about it the more I thought of things I could do with these two Jedi together because one alone didn’t have much to react to.”
And when I looked further into it... this isn’t actually new information!
This was also mentioned in the old Databank on earlier versions of, and in The Art of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, in which they also explain that they briefly considered making Qui-Gon be Obi-Wan’s Padwan, and having Ewan McGregor playing “Padawan Qui-Gon”, before they finally settled on having Obi-Wan be the apprentice instead.
Other fun fact: there’s a scanned copy of the 1997 shooting script online (you can download it here)... and in it, you’ll notice that in the scene where they have dinner at Shmi’s house, some of the character description still reads “OBI-WAN” instead of “QUI-GON”, because they forgot to replace some of them :D
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But as a result of bringing in Qui-Gon and shifting around the character dynamics, the decision of ambitiously taking Anakin in no longer falls on Obi-Wan… but on Qui-Gon.
How the addition of Qui-Gon changed the subplot:
If we look at things objectively, Qui-Gon saw a boy with an enormous M-count and massive potential in the Force, and figured “this kid must be the Chosen One”. And part of Qui-Gon’s character is that he feels, instead of thinking… he uses his instincts. And his instincts are never wrong (or so he thinks).
But while Qui-Gon’s instincts are correct (Anakin is indeed the Chosen One, no question there), he’s going about it the wrong way.
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“So here we’re having Qui-Gon wanting to skip the early training and jump right to taking him on as his Padawan learner, which is controversial, and ultimately, the source of much of the problems that develop later on.”
 - The Phantom Menace, Director’s Commentary, 1999
“I think it is obvious that [Qui-Gon] was wrong in Episode I and made a dangerous decision, but ultimately this decision may be correct.”
 - Cut Magazine, 1999
He’s insisting this kid become a Padawan at once, without having him spend some time with the younglings to adjust… and everyone else is saying that that’s crazy. Cuz it is. But he is unable to consider the fact that he’s mistaken. 
His instincts are never wrong, right? So he just keeps pushing for it.
Then he gets killed and with his dying breath, he forces the task of training Anakin onto Obi-Wan, who hasn’t even gone through the Trials, yet.
So right here, the original subplot has been retconned:
Obi-Wan no longer takes Anakin on because he’s an ambitious big-shot Jedi who arrogantly goes ‘pfft, if Yoda can do it, I can too’.
Instead, at the start, he takes Anakin on reluctantly... not because Anakin’s a problem, but because Obi-Wan feels that he, as a Master, won’t be up to the task. 
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Still, he steps up and takes on the responsibility. And while the task itself is ambitious, Obi-Wan doesn’t do it for the “glory of training the Chosen One”. He’s just keeping a promise, by being there for a 9-year-old kid who was taken away from his mother and whose paternal figure just died.
He decides to train the boy, honoring Qui-Gon’s memory. 
The new subplot:
Now, while Obi-Wan’s fear that he may be inexperienced may be accurate in some areas...  it isn’t in others. Namely, Obi-Wan’s ability to deal with a personality like Anakin’s.
Anakin had many character traits in common with Qui-Gon, including the following flaws:
They’re both headstrong, unruly mavericks.
Neither is very forthcoming about their own emotions.
Some people are outgoing, and need someone who will listen. Others are not, and need someone who will ask them and get them to talk. Anakin and Qui-Gon are examples of the latter. They get lost in their own thoughts and don’t open up unless they are pressed.
But this means that Obi-Wan already had experience dealing with this sort of personality before taking on Anakin. So he knows exactly what to do.
Whether Anakin is stressed...
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... or is just bottling up his feelings...
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... most of the time, Obi-Wan will get Anakin to open up.
(credit to @ashleyeckstein​ for that last GIF)
As Lucas said:
“One of the primary issues between this relationship between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon is that this is establishing Obi-Wan as the kind of straight arrow, the center of the movie, and Qui-Gon as the rebel, as the one who’s constantly sort of pushing the envelope. Which will switch itself in the next movie when, rather than having his master be the rebel, he has his Padawan learner become the rebel. I’m using Obi-Wan as sort of this centering device through all these movies, even as we get in with Luke and everybody else later on.” - The Phantom Menace, Director’s Commentary, 1999
Obi-Wan is a centering device.
He’s not so dogmatic that he will do anything the Jedi Council says, though he will try to stay within the lines. That said, you can change his mind, if your point is valid, unlike Qui-Gon who will hunker down on his own stance. 
Obi-Wan is the middle ground (despite what the memes say 😃).
He’s the stable Yin to chaotic Yangs like Qui-Gon or Anakin.
So it turns out that pairing Anakin with a master like Obi-Wan... is actually a great fit! They complement each other, there’s a symbiosis.
And so he trains and practically raises Anakin as a paternal/fraternal figure, they become friends. Then, when Anakin is knighted, they become equals.
Anakin becomes an almost-perfect Jedi Knight, despite the terrible odds he faced. He is brave, kind, generous, powerful, loyal, he’s the best fighter pilot in the galaxy. He is more street-smart than your average Jedi, he has political connections like Bail or Padmé. He’s training a Padawan mere months after being knighted. By the end of the Clone War, this guy’s in the Top 3 fighters of the Jedi Order.
Anakin becomes a goddamn superstar, in the Jedi Order. And Obi-Wan is very proud of the man he’s grown up to be, despite the odds he was facing.
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So eventually, Obi-Wan leaves for a mission which could turn out to be just a wild Bantha chase... he imparts one last lesson, says his goodbyes to Anakin...
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... and comes back to this.
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He is understandably devastated... and, of course, in true Jedi fashion, he blames himself:
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But here’s the thing. 
Forget that Obi-Wan is the ultimate selfless Jedi. Let’s put that aside.
Any parent would blame themselves for how their kid turned out. And sometimes? They’d be right to do so. 
This isn’t one of those times. 
Obi-Wan did his best; and Anakin’s choices - influenced though they may have been - were his own.
And that’s the new moral of Obi-Wan’s story, in the Prequels, according to Lucas.
“When you’re in this position as a mentor, whether you’re an actual father or not, this person is your charge, but you have no control over how they’re going to use that knowledge. [...] You hope they’ll turn out okay, you hope they do the right things, you hope you raised them right, and all that stuff. But there’s no guarantee or anything. You never know what’s going to happen. That’s the challenge.”
Obi-Wan will never stop thinking he shares some blame in his boy’s downfall. We see that he eventually is able to see things more objectively in From A Certain Point Of View, though, clearly, in Return of the Jedi part of him still feels he is somewhat at fault.
But we, the audience, know: he did his best.
And if his teachings hadn’t been regularly sabotaged by Palpatine for 13 years, if the Devil himself hadn’t manipulated Anakin and turned his own fears against him... Obi-Wan’s best would’ve been enough.
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