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greenglowinspooks · 5 months

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(DCxDP) Drowning in formaldehyde (Pt. 2)

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Tw: canon-typical violence (Batman), emetophobia at one point

Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually

(Pt. 1)

(Masterlist/subscription post)

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Danny sat in the back of one of the transport trucks currently on the way to Arkham, his hands in his lap.

So far, everything was going to plan.

About a quarter of the team had gotten themselves admitted into Arkham in the days leading up to the raid, carefully sneaking in supplies and weapons for both themselves and the rogues they were going to free.

Half of the team was on trucks, ready to storm the building with their fancy new tech. A couple others were keeping an eye out for the Bats, and the last one was holed up in a recently condemned building, ecto-modified sniper rifle in hand, ready to fire.

Danny’s hands were cold.

He hadn’t always run cold, from what he remembered. Even after he died—hell, even after he started developing his ice powers—he had always been warm.

Now, though, his body was freezing.

Maybe it was because of the ecto siphoning he and Derringer had done the day before.

He couldn’t make the ecto guns work without fueling them, after all, and the only ectoplasm he had access to was the stuff inside his body. So, he had Derringer hook him up to a GiW machine and filter the ecto out of his blood.

The process was excruciating.

Not only did he get light-headed from the loss of fluids, the machine also chilled his blood considerably during the filtering process, and when it was pumped back into his body, it was freezing. Derringer had to cover him with heating pads and thick blankets to get him to stop shaking.

Still, that had been a little over eighteen hours ago, so that probably wasn’t it.

Maybe it was just another side affect of his time with the GiW.

Overuse of his ghostly wail, he had realized earlier, was the reason that he had lost his voice permanently. Maybe he had accidentally used his ice too many times the same way, and now his body was irrevocably changed. Maybe warmth was just another tiny privilege he had taken for granted, that had now been lost forever.

Danny stared down at his hands.

Maybe his body had just given up entirely on keeping him warm, on pretending to be human.

“Kid, you alright? We’re almost there.”

Derringer’s voice snapped Danny out of his thoughts.

“Yeah,” Danny signed, “just tired. And cold.”

“We’ve got to get you a jacket, kid,” Derringer said, “it’s not even winter and I already have to worry about you freezing to death.”

“I died a long time ago, it’s fine.”

“No,” one of the other men in the truck drawled, “it means you’ve got to be extra careful. You’ve got a second chance at living, so you better not screw it up.”

“What did he say?”

“Danny thinks that because he’s died before, he doesn’t need to worry about freezing to death.”

The truck went quiet for a few moments. Most of the guys in there didn’t know he had died before. He didn’t exactly like to advertise the fact.

“I have a cousin who had a heart attack, and it only made his heart worse,” one of the guys near the front of the truck offered.

“See, kid?” Derringer said, “I’m right. As soon as this is over, you’re getting a jacket.”

Danny crossed his arms, slumping over in his seat with a huff.

A few moments later, a loud clang echoed through the truck. Danny jolted, almost falling out of his seat.

The door opened, the driver looking at them with boredom written all over his face.

“Alright, up and at em. It’s go time,” he mumbled, smacking the door loudly for emphasis. “The sooner we’re done, the sooner we can leave.”

They all stood, hopping out of the truck and making their way to the fence line.

Danny moved his hand to the bandolier on his chest, fingers brushing against the small ecto-bombs he had attached to it.

There were five of them, their bodies made of tempered glass and black steel, and they glowed a sickly green in the night. They were designed mainly for combat; he had a few larger ones meant to blow a hole in a wall in his backpack, which was securely zipped shut.

His hand then drifted to the holster on his left side, and the ecto-gun nestled securely within it.

Most of his parents’ inventions were far too big and bulky to be practical in any real combat setting, so he had downsized them considerably. The weapon he had was modeled after a standard glock pistol, matte black paint covering the GiW white of the gun’s body.

The gun should be able to fire around fifty shots a minute without overheating, which was more than enough for Danny. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to fire a single round tonight. However, for whatever reason, the words should and hopefully didn’t inspire much confidence in him.

Danny followed the group as they snuck up to the facility, Derringer by his side.

Originally, neither of them were going to go on the raid, but someone on the patient list had caught Danny’s eye, so he decided he would investigate in person. Derringer was just along for the ride because Mr. Cobblepot wasn’t willing to lose an asset as valuable as Danny.

Danny would make it up to the bodyguard later, he decided.

Entering Arkham was, all things considered, pretty easy. Mr. Cobblepot had connections to a few of the orderlies, and it was all too easy to convince them to “forget” a few steps in setting up the security system for the night.

However, since nothing can ever just be simple, they ran into an unexpected patrol of nightshift guards just a few minutes after all splitting up to find the rogues.

Danny and Derringer were able to take them down pretty quickly, but not before they sounded the alarms. And, according to a few guys on the comms, they weren’t the only ones to run into guards where they shouldn’t be.

“They must have changed their patrols,” Derringer huffed, spinning the pistol in his hands, “c’mon, let’s go see about freeing our good friend Victor Fries.”

Danny nodded, scampering after the man as he sprinted through the halls.

The inmates, who had woken up from the loud alarm’s continuous blaring, shouted at them from their cells. Danny’s pulse was loud in his ears, drowning everything out.

Distantly, he wondered if those guards were going to die. Maybe they were dead already.

He supposed that it didn’t really change much if they were.

Soon, they were at the cell. It was custom-built to hold Mr. Freeze, constantly kept at subzero temperatures to avoid killing him.

Derringer hefted his bag off of his back, pulling out the suit and freeze gun that Mr. Cobblepot had procured. As he did so, Danny took a few of the larger ecto-bombs and placed them on the joints of the door.

They carefully moved away, putting some distance between themselves and the door, and Danny detonated it.

The explosion was loud. It shook the entire building, the shockwave knocking Danny to the floor.

Danny brought his hand up to his safety goggles, yanking a small piece of metal shrapnel out of them and dropping it on the floor. He was dimly aware of more pieces sticking out of his kevlar suit. Derringer was similarly peppered with metal, luckily uninjured as well.

They had come from the body and mechanism of the bomb, he realized. He’d have to fix that later.

Mr. Freeze emerged from the cell a few moments later, a scowl on his face. Derringer quickly shoved the suit and freeze gun into his hands and he retreated back into the cell for a few moments, getting dressed.

“I could have died from that, you know,” he hissed. “Killed by some amateurs with shoddy explosives.”

“The Penguin sent us,” Derringer said, ignoring the man’s clear annoyance, “our getaway car is outside. If you’d come with us…”

Mr. Freeze nodded sternly.

“Hurry up, then.”

Derringer and Danny hurried out, Mr. Freeze right behind them. Then, at a certain hallway, Danny paused.

He had to check.

“Kid,” Derringer barked, “we have to go.”

Danny shook his head.

“You go,” he signed, hands trembling, “I have to check.”

“Oh, what’s the problem now?” Mr. Freeze asked, his frown more pronounced by the minute.

“Danny…” Derringer sighed, “Danny thinks his sister might be in here. He hasn’t seen her in years. It’s the whole reason he was a part of the Arkham raid, actually.”

Mr. Freeze paused for a moment.

“Well, lead the way, then,” he said, clearly regretting his words as soon as he said them. Danny just nodded, scurrying forward, the other two men close behind him.

They came to the right cell quickly. Danny looked in through the glass, and he felt a piece of himself shatter.

That was Jazz, his sister, sitting in a padded wall wearing a straightjacket and a muzzle.

She didn’t bother looking up at them as they arrived, not stirring even when Danny slammed his hands on the door to get her attention.

Shakily, he attached an ecto-bomb to the door, hoping with all his might that she wouldn’t get hurt.

The door blew open, and Danny rushed in.

Jazz’s head swiveled to look up at him, her eyes narrowed.

He slipped the goggles up and his bandanna down, exposing his face as he came to kneel beside her.

Slowly, her expression shifted to shock.

“Jazz,” he creaked, his broken vocal chords cracking painfully as he spoke, “it’s me.”

She looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Danny?”

He nodded, pulling her into a hug, careful not to let the shrapnel dig into her skin.

“I thought you were…”

“Very heartwarming,” Mr. Freeze snapped, “but now isn’t the time. We’ve got to go, now.”

Jazz nodded, leaping to her feet. Danny stood as well, slipping his mask and bandanna back on, and grabbing onto one of her arms for support.

They left the cell, Danny doing a double-take as he saw the frozen-over pathway that they had just come from. He looked to Mr. Freeze, tilting his head questioningly.

“There were guards,” he said flatly. “Now hurry up, we need to get out of here.”

Derringer grabbed the two of them, dragging them along as he sprinted through the hallways. They had to take a bit of a detour, coming out of the main entrance instead of the side one they had entered.

Unfortunately, there was an active gunfight going down.

Danny was roughly pulled behind a desk, just barely dodging a few rounds.

His hands shook as he pulled a small ecto-bomb from his bandolier, priming it and throwing it at a small grouping of night guards. They cried out as the pure ectoplasm collided with them, covering their bodies in burns.

The smell, while familiar to Danny, was still horrific.

They took a few shots off at the night guards, trying to take them down. Their group was efficient, but with the rate they were going at, it wasn’t going to be enough. Only adding to that, the gun Mr. Cobblepot had prepared for Mr. Freeze had broken after just a few uses, leaving them unable to create an ice wall.

Then, Danny heard the sound of a gun’s safety being turned off behind them, and his vision went white.

He grabbed onto Jazz and Derringer, making them intangible right as the night guard opened fire.

Waves of nausea hit him all at once and he doubled over, his vision swimming. Danny was only dimly aware of Jazz taking the guard down with a high kick right to the head, and Derringer pulling him into a protective hold.

Ignoring everything, he pulled the last of the large bombs from his bag, throwing it into the air, pulling everyone behind the desk.

The entire room went white.

Danny’s ears rung as he scrambled out from behind the reception desk, dragging Jazz with him.

Luckily, none of the hired hands on his team had gotten injured, but the guards…

Danny looked away, trying to ignore the taste of bile in his mouth.

It was fine. He was fine. Everything would be okay.

The next few minutes were a blur. He knew that he had puked only a few seconds after they had left the building, and that Derringer had picked him up afterwards, carrying him to the truck with Mr. Freeze and Jazz in tow.

Danny’s entire body was wracked with tremors, an unbearable phantom pain passing through the still-healing surgical wounds in his head and torso like lightning. He dry-heaved, shivering uncontrollably.

They drove off soon after. Luckily, no one had been left behind. Someone, probably Derringer, helped Danny rinse out his mouth and got him a bottle of water to drink, wrapping him in his jacket.

As soon as the truck doors were opened within one of Mr. Cobblepot’s safehouses, Danny became aware of the sound of wailing.

Hopping out of the truck, most of his mind still far away, he saw a man being rolled out of the room on a stretcher. He was one of the people who had been on the other truck, Danny realized.

Beside him was a teenager, probably only a few years younger than Danny, who was screaming and crying uncontrollably. They wailed at Mr. Cobblepot, who only stood there with an uncomfortable expression on his face.

“Oh shit,” Derringer breathed. Danny pulled on his sleeve, tilting his head at him questioningly.

“The guy on the stretcher, that’s his sibling.”

Danny just stared, a hollow feeling deep in his chest.

Jazz, her arms now freed from the straightjacket, pulled him away from the scene. Danny let her.

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#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp fic #vengeful danny #villain danny #btw Danny’s just cold because he has an iron deficiency. lmao #girl this is what happens when you don’t eat for two years. you get deficiencies. now stop angsting and eat your veggies #also my descriptions of the ecto filter come from donating blood plasma + platelets #Danny is Going Through It™️#btw I’m finishing this chapter at 3:03 am #just in case you thought I didn’t care about you all #btw the guy who’s injured’s sibling is a surprise tool that will help us later #also I was totally gonna kill Derringer at first. btw #but y’all avoided that with the poll. also it would have been a bit cheap imo

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pandoratheprocrasticreator · 1 year

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I wonder what the kids and teachers in luz's school think of her now. Shes stopped "terrorizing" other kids, mainly because she seems to have stopped engaging with most of her classmates period. She no longer brings live animals or taxidermy to school. She even participates in english class occasionally, even if she doesnt "get" the point of the book. Her rants only clock as suicidal if you know about her time in the boiling isles which the people at her school do not.

I wonder if luz's teachers and schoolmates think that luz mellowed out over the summer. If the principal/counselor that suggested she go to the camp patted himself on the back because shes "improved."

#the owl house #toh #shut up pandora #luz noceda #something something people see a neurodivergent kid having depression and breathe a sigh of relief bc now theyre finally 'normal'#people speculate maybe luz would have been fine going to the summer camp and while i agree she would have made friends #she would not have been fine! she would have just learned to suppress her identity like camila did #but going to the boiling isles was her only option bc she either gets suppressed quickly at the summer camp #or she keeps acting out at school and eventually society wears her down and shames her into conforming like it did to her mom #something about how even if the camp helps luz act like a 'normal person' she still would have been miserable bc she couldnt be herself #it temporarily benefits her by giving her friends and benefits ppl around her by making her act 'normal'#but the kids there are still weird at heart! they have a community to be weird around now but society at large will still look down on them #unless they put on a front all the time to fit in #and the boiling isles isnt perfect either its society still looks down on luz for being different #but it accepts her neurodivergence and her new friends are all neurodivergent like her so she still has a community to be herself around #and while it looks down on her for having no natural magic it isnt something shes been shamed about growing up like her neurodivergence was #anyway the camp wasnt as catastrophic as luz thought it would be and vee benefitted from it #but it still represented a slow rot. the kind that eats away at neurodivergent kids as they grow up #slowly shaming them to hide away parts of themselves deemed unfit for society #and when you hide behind a front and are exhausted and miserable from it #everyone applauds you for your 'recovery.' youve improved yourself. they never liked the old you #good job on destroying yourself and shoving the pieces into a facsimile of what the people around you think you ought to be

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sensitiveheartless · 8 months

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...K this is going to sound completely out of the blue, but this has been haunting me today —

#I have found a few things while googling but my results are inconclusive! <-(this might be because i am operating with very few braincells)#Has he ever consumed a fly on screen in any show or movie? Like #fully???#sidenote but this burning question has led me to the discovery that there is an entire wiki section titled 'MUPPETS EATING OTHER MUPPETS'#...anyway do not be concerned my brain is just in a weird headspace because I haven't properly left my room since thursday morning lol #and obviously i'm going to stay isolated until i'm better!#in the meantime I will have muppet thoughts apparently #hmmm muppet au #...oh god. has anyone done a 'bsd where everything is the same but Dazai is a muppet'?#because that would be glorious #or wait #going by muppet movie logic I guess it would have to be one human with an entire cast of muppets so —#who would the human be???#oh no oh NO hold on wait—#what if all ability users are muppets #and Dazai's ability is 'NO LONGER MUPPET' and he can poke people and turn them into full humans #HELP #senhart rambles #polls #i do not know what else to tag this with so i simply shall not

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samarecharm · 2 months

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Man. Goro being in strikers wouldve been soooo fucking good. Especially w the surprisingly good writing and plot??? You have to live w the consequences of your mistakes? You dont get to just Die and leave the mess you made behind? You have to confront the people youve hurt and accept that they may never forgive you? That people who care about you and love you will support you even when youre at rock bottom as long as u show a willingness to change and do better? This wouldve been a perfect way to tie up Goros whole story in neat little bow 😔😔😔

#chattin #p5s #goro #having to confront the thieves. having to confront akira. having to confront HARU.#living with the mistakes you made in your quest for revenge #now that youre forced to Live; what do you do? how do u fix it? how do you start over???#its really good i think; and it would fit goro perfectly #sophie asking about the heart; picking goro clean and exposing his thoughts and failures for the thieves to see #analyzed by akira and co under a microscope #and forced to address his own feelings about. everything.#but like. on other better things #goro having a fury ability similar to zenkichis is cute lol. throwing tantrums in the metaverse #zenkichi gets enhanced moves at the cost of health #and goro gets enhanced attack and agility at the cost of defense and luck #it would be neat :)#goro BEGRUDGINGLY eating the food that akira makes #and eventually forced to help prep if he wants food at all #(akira does not have to do this w the thieves. but he is NOT going to let goro pretend hes not on the team)#(but it doesnt take long for goro to volunteer his services. the thieves eavesdrop as he chats w akira lol)#goro hears that he has to sleep in that little tent up top and hes like. oh thats so cute! have fun in there.#as he sleeps under a boulder next to the camper #i think the heart to heart w akane would soften him a little #he doesnt Hate kids but they make him a little comfy #but shes got so much anger; anger that he definitely had at that age too #he. gets it…#oh my god. hed be so fucking annoyed w the phantom thief praise. it would kill him #and ryujis like man cmon stop actin like youre not one of us already. the acts gettin stale at this point #shuts him up for a long while lmao

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oatbugs · 4 months

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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

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soplapinga · 6 months

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How the fuck did I learn how to efficiently help my partner through his autistic meltdowns thanks to a vashwood fanfic .what

#me reading ww help w vashs meldowns: oh well I . ?? oh ???? wait It does look similar to - OH ?? IT WOULD HELP MAYBE OH MY GOR #I followed fucking fanfic wws steps next time my bf had one #i used his way of asking and talking #the question that fictional bitch asked #and it WORKED #Fun fact were both autistic #just .completely different breeds of it #plus I cant understand ppls physical reactions to save my life #thought process ?? im a fucking expert . the BEST #but PHYSICAL oh hell naw #I just understand what I physically need but absolutely nothing more #NOW I CAN HELP HIM #U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY AM I ABOUT THAT #autism #fanfiction #vashwood #ao3 fanfic #we had obv talked about it b4 but he didnt understand how it worked either so we left it at “dw if u dont know. ure trying and i love u”#(i wanted to eat his face and cry bc I HATE NOT UNDERSTANDING SHIT I SHOULD UNDERSTAND)#oh and I couldnt do what works for me bc my body is 100% uncapable of being vulnerable in anyway in front of ppl for more than .5 min prob #so I just loose my mind a lil bit w laughing randomly and moving compulsively like rocking on the chair or slamming things etc for that time #and the close off until im alone and gave the full needed meltdown #so ive never been actually comforted or helped so I dont know what it would help bc Ive never experienced it #rant ended lads now SORRY

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sunnibits · 6 months

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I just asked my irl friends this too but I’m rlly curious to know so: can you guys give me any recommendations for new food to try for someone who is an extremely picky eater who’s trying to practice expanding their palette?? like maybe some really simple foods that would be a good place to start, or alternatively pls tell me what food you would recommend to someone who has never eaten food before lmao

#literally ‘food recommendations for a beginner??’ LMAO #if it helps uhhh I rlly like pasta and carbs (even tho I’m gluten free) and like warm cozy food in general #tempted to start listing all the things I don’t want to eat but like. that would take me all day and feel really embarassing LMAO #potential oversharing but uhh I’m starting to think I may actually have a legitimate ed and it’s rlly hard…#but it just occurred to me that because I’m so picky there’s so much good food I haven’t tried yet???#like most people have tried way more food than me at this age #but I’ve barely tried anything #and if I could just magically get over my good issues it would be so cool to be able to just?? discover food for the first time????#so idk that’s a really comforting thought #but for now. eating hard and scary. so I gotta start with simple things #tw ed mention #idk I’m not even 100% sure yet but also like… I know. lmao #pretty sure I’m past denial at this point #gem don’t look

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jazzzzzzhands · 2 months

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So anyways i was gonna wait for like a HUGE ref to put together

BUT im impatient and i have a short attention span!!

Here's me! Here is Jazz!! Puppetsona!!

Just a head shot for NOW!

ReDesigning her! And honestly if she isnt kinda different everytime i draw her, i probably died, cause i'm the MOST inconsistent person there is!! And she is too!!

She is a bear!!

She is so so Hyper and Happy!!

and she's silly! and she's doting!

and she's yearning! and shes fussy! and overBearing! (ahahaha)

and she struggles sometimes to process new things but she's figuring that out too!

She is WHIMSICAL and she's loving!

and she looks at the world with wide and sparkling eyes!!

and she believes in Magic!!

She is simply! a Collector!! She collects everything that makes her Happy! Toys, Art, Stones, Flowers, Coins, Teapots, Clown dolls, Art supplies,Memories, Dreams, and any little random thing!!

You will probably see me doodle her and change her hair, her colors, her clothing,her height, ect, but here is a taste of the sort of things she wears!!

She Doesn't wear shoes!!

and she IS! a little bit magical

Those pockets are deeper than they should be!

and Things simply seem to happen around her!!

She has a Hugtime Bracelet! Yes, from Trolls!!

Because i said she can!!

Feel free to ask me Any questions about her!!

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awetistic-things · 4 months

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for the past week and a half, my gums on the left side of my mouth have been hurting so bad and it felt like i sliced it open somehow ( and my inner cheek has quite literally been split open from the tooth )

just looked at it for the first time in the mirror and oh boy oh boy it’s one of EIGHT :( of my wisdom teeth

i’m not gonna be able to get it out for at least another month and i can’t brush or floss that side of my mouth right so plaque has been building up super fast

THEREFORE

if anyone has any suggestions on how to brush / floss when your wisdom tooth is completely grown in and is out for the world to see ( edit: i checked again and it is only half showing, but i can feel either the rest of it or a completely other wisdom teeth bulging out of my gums ) as well as ways to lessen the pain that would be very wonderful :)

edit: just checked it again but my phone-light and i have discovered that it has a very strong green hue which i don’t need to google to know that’s a very big problem

#i geniunely can barely eat #or open my mouth more than halfway 😭#i thought i would have like 5 more years #sigh #this feels stupid to post about considering EVERYTHING #but i’m in a bit of a pickle so if anyone could help me out that would geniunely make my life muchhhh easier #dentist #teeth #wisdom teeth #tooth #wisdom tooth removal #wisdom tooth #wisdom teeth removal #dental #medical assistance #medical

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the-red-thread-that-strangles · 2 months

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I was wondering what Akai is up to in the sweater weather AU, so here you go

Akai Shuichi is a thrillseeker at heart, but even he has his limits.

So when his mother, conveniently pocket-sized but still as sharp as ever, threatens him with a gun and lays into him, not for faking his death, but, of all things, for not mentioning his partner to her, he privately questions her priorities but decides to tell her the truth. He certainly likes to live dangerously, but he wouldn't be alive today if he didn't know how to pick his battles.

While she seems initially confused, the conversation about Akemi quickly veers off-track when his mother asks him to repeat her family name. Miyano, as in, her sister's daughter Miyano Akemi. Shuichi didn't even know he had an aunt. Not that it matters much, since he knows Akemi's parents died years ago. Eventually his mother leaves him alone, both of them too caught up in their heads to continue the conversation.

Shuichi's not really sure what to feel about all of that. So he doesn't.

He's not always been good at managing his emotions, but it's pretty close. When his father taught him how to hunt, and the misery of seeing proud game succumb to his shots had almost swallowed him alive, something cracked under the pressure. And whatever that was, despite Shuichi's best efforts, it has never quite healed alright. It left him with a slight gap between his thoughts and feelings, giving him that bit of extra distance necessary to keep going instead of breaking down. He'd come to understand, then, with a clarity born from numbness, death as an integral part of life. It comes for all living things, sometimes too early, and there really is no way to escape it. There's no use in fighting. Better get used to it.

The FBI counsellor called it repression, many years later, and while it was not even close to immediate grounds for disqualification from the program, she tried to give Shuichi reading materials on mindfulness and self-reflection. He hasn't touched them; the ability has been too helpful so far. He would've shattered several times over without it; when his father disappeared and his world threatened to break apart; when he decided to leave his family, including an unborn sister, behind for the ghost of a chance to find his father; and most often since he went undercover for the FBI. There's no fooling himself, compartmentalization and repression are probably the only reasons he can talk about the years and years of dirty work, including everything from blackmail to torture and murder, without losing his sanity. People call him cold-blooded and emotionally unavailable, and mean it as an insult. Shuichi can't bring himself to care. Life is complicated enough without emotions thrown into the mix. He needs to control some factors and keep them simple. Himself, he can control - mostly. So he does.

And he's good at it, but some days, it's too much.

Dealing with Akemi's untimely demise has always been difficult. He made a mistake when he got attached to his target. He can't even claim that he didn't know better, at the time, because he did, he just chose to ignore his better judgement. Couldn't help it, really. She was so easy to get along with, gentle yet tough as nails in a way that gave him, too, the strength needed to make a name for himself as a hitman. Those first couple of months before he learned not to sleep too much, when he came back from his missions feeling stained in blood that never even touched him, when he maintained his cover throughout the day and threatened to break apart by night, she was there to steady him. And she allowed him to be gentle with her, to hold her and love her and promise her the world. He needed desperately to not just be a monster, and she managed to see the man in him.

Now he's left to wonder if the easy familiarity he settled into with Akemi was a result of their relation. Such a pointless question.

With the help of a few glasses of Maker's Mark, a pack of cigarettes, and a probably unhealthy amount of emotional distancing, he manages to lay the matter to rest, for now. Until the organisation is dealt with, he can't afford to let his emotions get in the way, so he buries them as deep as he can, and applies logic to the problem.

Ultimately, he reasons, rhythmically assembling and disassembling his IWI Jericho to give his hands something to do, it doesn't really change things. What matters is that he loved her and she died for it. Whatever he learned after can't tarnish that memory. It's a simple fact that he needs to keep going to avenge her; aside from that, all he can do right now is remember her, and honour her last request. That's the active parameter he can affect: he will see to it that Miyano Shiho is protected, or die trying.

Shuichi considers telling the girl they're cousins, and eventually, he will - if she doesn't figure it out before that, keen as she is. But for now, she still doesn't trust him, has too much to worry about, and honestly, for a supposedly dead man he has enough tetchy family connections already. Maybe, when all of this is over, he can tell Masumi - she's a bit too careless to be told now, and he hopes his mother shares this assessment. But his little sister is great at breaking the ice, and he's sure she would love to hear she has more family. It might do Shiho well, too, knowing she isn't as alone as she might think. Their family is odd enough that she'll fit right in.

He's not sure he'd wish it upon her, though. Dealing with his darling mother always involves a headache of some kind. He is reminded once again why he didn't join the MI6, and why he tries to keep contact with her to a minimum. Still, somewhere deep down and buried, he's glad she seems to be well enough to feel like going out and threatening him. It's almost cute, even if she's deadly.

Despite his best efforts not to let it affect him, emotional exhaustion sticks to him through the next couple of days, uneventful as they are. Sleeping would probably help, but he keeps himself awake with coffee where he can, only napping a couple hours a day. Shuichi's life is one of constant vigilance, of surveillance and planning and striking at precisely the right time. And it suits him just fine, patience is in his nature. But while he's not on a mission, it sometimes leaves him just a little bit bored. The Kudo library is extensive, but there's only so many mystery novels he can read before his mind starts to wander. Trying not to think of Akemi's death is like trying not to think about pink elephants once he has been reminded of them. The comparison is uncharitable, and he knows she wouldn't appreciate his brooding, but it's not like he has much else to occupy himself with. Yes, there are the preparations for a joint operation against the organization coming up in a little over a month, and there's a class Okiya Subaru has to attend Tuesday evenings, but it's not like they require his full attention. He still tries to give it to them.

II.

Shuichi's not sure whether it's a blessing or a curse that he's meeting with Furuya Rei a couple of days after the ill-fated encounter with his mother.

Their relationship is tumultuous at best, and murderous at worst, complicated in the way all interactions containing Furuya tend to be, as the man is dictated by exactly the kind of emotions Shuichi tries to avoid. Granted, it is a rather one-sided disagreement; as with most things, Shuichi has no strong feelings about Furuya. He respects the other agent's abilities, particularly the fact he is still undercover, and teasing him is surprisingly fun. That's about it. Shuichi's keenly aware of Furuya's flaws, but as long as they don't bother their operations, he's not going to do anything about them.

In fact, in the last weeks - months really, at this point - he's been enjoying going along with Furuya's whims, meeting him to exchange the sweaters he seems to be so obsessed with. When he's not trying to hound him, Furuya can be somewhat decent company, chattering away about the mundane things that irritate him. Until he realizes he's been too pleasant, at which point he gets a little volatile to make sure Shuichi understands they're not actually friends. It's nothing Shuichi can't handle, and to be completely honest, he appreciates a little less boredom in his life.

Today, though, doom and gloom and failure still on his mind, he's not really up for playing games with the PSB agent. They know each other better than anyone else alive, aside from maybe Morofushi. Furuya will understand.

So he prepares a bag, shoves the sweater Furuya requested in, double-checking it's the right one because he really doesn't need another lecture right now, and waits for the agent to break into the Kudo mansion so he can hand it over and be done with it. Considering he's an ally now, Shuichi would offer him a key, but he's got the distinct impression Furuya would somehow misconstruct it as an insult to his abilities.

Exactly five minutes ahead of schedule, there's the click of the first-story balcony door, and Shuichi pads down from the sniper nest in the attic to meet his guest. Wordlessly, he holds out the bag to Furuya in the hallway. "Not even a good evening? Lacking in manners as usual, Akai Shuichi." Shuichi shrugs, can't be bothered. Shakes the bag. "Here's what you came for." Furuya's eyes narrow, scan across his form, then his brows furrow. An expression Shuichi hasn't seen on him before crosses his face, and before he has time to interpret it, it's gone, replaced by a smirk. "Hey, Akai." He stretches, dangling his own bag overhead. "That takedown you performed on the serial killer two weeks ago. Teach it to me." Shuichi stares back, unimpressed. "Maybe next time, I'm not-" Two quick steps, and Furuya's in his space, eyes blazing blue, looking up at him so impossibly bright. "That wasn't a question, Akai." He grins, eyes shining. "Or you're not getting your sweater back."

Shuichi almost lets out a laugh. That's gotta be up there somewhere in the top five stupidest threats he's ever been issued. Which is really saying something, considering he spent his teenage years in a high school in the US, and then some more years with FBI trainees in Quantico. What is it with Furuya and his sweater fixation? Akai doesn't care, he can have them all if it gets him out of his hair.

Unfortunately, Shuichi's best death glare doesn't seem to have the desired effect. Determination is either Furuya's best or worst quality, depending on how much trouble his current agenda involves, and for the sake of Shuichi's time, it's probably quicker to go along with him than to try and forcibly relocate him, even if he's certain he could. With a quiet sigh he makes for the basement gym.

Where his temper shines through in conversations, Furuya's presence in a fight is that of a wildfire, contained in a person. When he fights, he burns, sucking the oxygen and attention out of his surroundings, doesn't allow for distractions or he'll singe and bite and sting whatever is in his path. He takes to Akai's instructions easily, and soon enough they're no longer practicing but engaged in a sparring match. Furuya doesn't leave him time to consider anything else, at all, and damnit, that fervour of his is contagious. The battlejoy kicks in, hard, and Shuichi finds himself mirroring the PSB agent's mad grin as they wrestle for dominance, toss each other into the mat, twist and turn and struggle on the fine line between play and serious fighting.

Once they're staying down on the mats, the battle is over quickly; one moment he has Rei in a full-body pin, sure of his surrender; only for the man to twist his legs, shift their positions, and straddle Shuichi, bending down to choke him. He's stunning like this, flushed and panting for breath, his scorching gaze focused intently on Shuichi and Shuichi alone, looking for an opportunity to make him yield. An effigy of life itself.

Shuichi can't help it; his heart soars, his blood sings, his body shivers. Rei is a pinpoint focus of light, and then everything goes dark.

Sweater weather AU masterpost

#akai might know his limits and pick his battles accordingly. this does not help whatsoever when rei picks the fights for them.#rei is contemplating heavily ever trying to help Akai again. here he is being nice and Akai faints on him.#rei: you're supposed to tap out BEFORE you loose conciousness ffs (not that he would surrender either)#akai thinking: don't get distracted or he'll eat you alive. also akai: gets distracted #recreational choking is not where I thought this would go but here we are #yes I know I'm an advocate for Akai being a better fighter than Rei #but he's going through things it's fine #also I do believe he has an eye and appreciation for brilliance #sweater weather AU #iris writes things #long post #damn it I always forget to tag a thing #akam #there we go #if I knew what I was doing I probably should've left it at Akai moping. but I couldn't let him stay that down :/

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transingthoseformers · 6 months

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Why do people not like rid2015? Cause it's really hard to find stuff about sideswipe ( my baby ❤️)

I wouldn't say I don't like it, but I definitely see the flaws such as

It somehow being more pro-cop propaganda than rescue bots where they're literal cops and firefighters and stuff, this is honestly my main criticism of rid15 and I've talked about it before

he lore being a bit different than tfp even though it's supposed to be a direct sequel, and at times the lore gets messy

The animation style being not what people expected

I can see issues regarding tone because while it's more lighthearted than tfp it suddenly shifts in s4, I can see why people thoroughly expected it to be more like tfp when in actuality it's for a younger targeted audience

Some of the main characters are pretty divergent from other iterations of them, such as Grimlock

It just didn't click with a lot of people, especially previous tfp fans.

Probably other stuff too

There's probably more, but I'm going to share the reasons why I personally find it interesting

Sheer bias, I grew up with rid15 with scattered bits of it I watched on cable and it being one of the three transformers shows on Netflix.

I feel like it gets super creative with the Decepticons, with some very cool design elements like frequently utilizing biolights and playing with optic colors a lot (two of the best ways to win me over sfdsdf)

in my opinion the rid15 decepticons are better than the rid15 autobots. There's characters who beforehand were relatively obscure and now got a second chance in a far more popular medium, like Crazybolt and Thunderhoof.

Not to mention entirely new characters like Vertebreak, Nightra, and Zizza. And Vertebreak again. I like Vertebreak

Some of the lore (especially regarding the colony worlds, beastformers, and in general the decepticons) is interesting, even if some of it diverges some from tfp

#basically speaking: i really like some of the toys in this sandbox but the way they're utilized in canon isn't my favorite #maccadam #transformers #and again technically speaking i was more familiar with robots in disguise 2015 than i was transformers Prime at first #transformers robots in disguise #rid15 #tf rid 2015 #iicr i got frustrated with s4 because while i loved some of it some of the plot drove me a bit nuts #''I never thought the leopardicons would eat my face!'' says the mecha who helped the face eating leopardicons eat faces #i somewhat understand what they were trying to do with Drift as he's somewhat a mix of both bayverse drift and idw Drift #sideswipe is indeed a delight and i sort of wish we also got sunstreaker alongside with him #and in my personal opinion i like Starscream's rid15 design more than her tfp one as nowadays it feels more starscream-ey #sad to see a girlboss go into a coma like that #transformers rid2015

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