#i thought i was doing well until the pandemic happened and since then my life has fallen apart in almost every single way

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 4

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse,  unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence

A/N: Sorry, but this is probably the longest chapter so far.I don't know what to write, it was an emotionally difficult chapter. There's a lot going on in it.

Part 4

After a few weeks, you reluctantly admitted that you needed Joel's help. He perfectly filled the gap that was created when neither you nor Claudia could take care of the boy. And Teddy loved Joel. It hurt you a bit, but the most important thing for you was the happiness of your son. The boy was happy when Joel picked him up when he tossed him up when he did all the things you couldn't do so well because you were smaller and weaker than Joel.

"Are you sure Teddy won't disturb you at the stables? I still have half an hour until my shift." Your friend's voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

You looked at the little boy who was happily jumping up and down a few meters in front of you.

"No. Joel will pick him up in an hour."

You saw Claudia frown. You knew she loved you like a sister and your son like a nephew.

"I know what you're thinking," you murmured. "But this asshole really does his job. Since Teddy staying with Joel, he's happier and no one's teasing him."

"I know, it's just… Fuck, Y/N, this is Joel. He'll fuck off eventually."

You sighed heavily. "Let's hope not, though."

*

As usual, you arranged a place for your son at the back of the stable among the straw bales. You gave him toys and you started cleaning the horses. Teddy was always very polite. From an early age, you taught him that horses are beautiful animals, but they require respect and you have to be careful around them. Unfortunately, not everyone understood this.

"Y/N!!!"

You shivered as you heard Anderson scream. Instinctively, you took a step back and slammed your back against the cubicle wall.

"What happened Peter?"

"I told you it was for you I'm Mr. Anderson," he growled, and you rolled your eyes, but then the man was right in front of you and dug his fingers painfully into your arm.

You immediately remembered who you were dealing with.

"What happened?" you repeated almost in a whisper.

"Why you didn't let my son ride that gray mare?"

"Venus is only two years old and is too young."

Anderson snorted and finally released your arm. "I saw that Teddy sitting on her."

You wanted to roll your eyes again, but you were afraid of his reaction. You took a step forward and tried to stay calm.

"Teddy helps me get her used to the rider. He doesn't ride her. Venus is always attached and I'm by her side. Your son wants to ride her alone, and that's out of the question. Also, Teddy is smaller and lighter."

Anderson shoved you so hard that you hit your back against the stall door. Then he grabbed your jaw painfully and growled, "Are you suggesting my son is fat?!"

You felt tears welling up in your eyes and shook your head.

"Good," he spat. "And you'd better train that stupid mare so my son can ride her."

He finally let go of you and walked away, and you sighed in relief. You rubbed your jaw and looked around nervously. You hoped Teddy didn't see or hear anything. Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time you fought with Anderson. He used to be so nice...

(flashback)

You met Peter Anderson right after you moved to Jackson. Before the pandemic, he was a gynecologist and was a valued resident of Jackson as a result. He was nearly fifty, tall and slim. His black hair was streaked with gray. He reminded you of Joel, but he was the opposite. Peter had a wife and child. He was kind and caring to you. He always smiled at you and assured you that he would help you with the birth.

You didn't even notice when his behavior towards you became too intimate. When he touched your breasts to show you how to feed Teddy. Or when he praised you saying his postpartum wife wasn't that sexy. You started to feel uncomfortable around him, but at the same time, you had no way to avoid him. You didn't know who to tell about your problem.

On your next visit, you decided to deal with it yourself. You felt his hand roaming your thigh and you pushed him away violently.

"Peter stop!" you growled. "You have to stop this. You have a wife and a child."

He looked at you with amusement. "What are you talking about child? I'm your doctor, how should I examine you?"

You narrowed your eyes and hissed, "I only came for medicine on Teddy's fever."

Anderson was not going to back down and nonchalantly replied, "That's why I need to check your breasts. You may have an inflamed breast. You're still breastfeeding him, and that could have caused the fever."

You felt yourself turn red with rage. "You put your hand up my skirt! Since when are there breasts?! You say I'm sexier than your wife and…"

The splash of a slap on the cheek spread around the room, and you clutched your face with tears in your eyes. You looked at Peter's angry face.

"How dare you, stray dog?! I tried to be kind and caring to you, and this is how you repay me?"

"I'll tell everyone what you did," you sobbed.

"Really? Then go and tell them that the doctor who looks after them treats you so badly. Come on. And you know what I'm going to tell them? That you're a little bitch who can't keep her legs shut. I'll say you hit on me and, that you're taking revenge because I'm faithful to my wife. I wonder who they'll believe? Me or a bitch who fucked someone in Boston."

You couldn't hold back your tears. You didn't understand why men were like this. First Joel, then Anderson. Or was he right? It was all your fault. There was something wrong with you.

Peter threw a small bottle with a clear liquid in your direction.

"Give the kid three drops and take his temperature, now get out of here. You're pathetic."

You ran out of his office and didn't tell anyone what happened.

Since that incident, Anderson hasn't hit on you anymore, but he's become rough and rude. He often pushed you roughly or grabbed you too hard, leaving you with bruises. He verbally abused you by calling you a bitch, a whore, a slut.

But of course, he never did it publicly, he was too smart for that. You felt trapped. You thought his position in Jackson was too strong.

You didn't know how to end it.

*

When you saw Joel entering the stables you shouted "Teddy! Joel is here!"

The man greeted you with a nod, but you looked away. Your son ran around the corner and ran towards Joel. He fell straight into his open arms and whined.

"Hey, 'bear cub'. What happened?"

The baby just snuggled closer to him and he looked at you concerned. You felt worried too and walked over to them.

"Maybe he's tired," you said. "Try giving him a snack and put him down for a nap."

He nodded and left the stable with his son. The little one held him tight all the way home and sniffled. Joel rubbed the boy's tiny back and tried to talk to him, but Teddy was silent. It wasn't until they were home that the boy looked at him and asked, "Can you protect mommy like you protect me?"

Joel knelt beside him. "Who am I supposed to protect her from?"

"From Mr. Anderson," he moaned sadly.

He rubbed the boy's shoulders and considered how to continue the conversation. He knew Anderson was a doctor and had a wife. But maybe you had an affair with him and the boy was just jealous.

"You need to tell me more, 'bear cub'. What exactly did Anderson do to your mom?"

The boy grabbed his jaw with his hand and said, "He's holding her like that and yelling at her. And he pushed her... And mommy hit the wall... Or he says bad words to her... Sometimes he grabs her hand and... Mommy has then a bruise. Mommy is afraid of him and doesn't like going to him..." The boy sniffed and a few tears ran down his cheek.

With every next word from Teddy, Joel made sure that Anderson was abusing you. He was furious with this guy and didn't understand why you didn't finish it. Didn't anyone in Jackson want to help you? And the worst part was that Teddy saw it.

Joel pulled the boy close to him and put his arm around him protectively. "Don't cry, 'bear cub'. I promise I'll talk to Anderson and tell him to be nice to your mommy."

Teddy snuggled closer to him and grabbed him by the shirt.

For the next few hours, Joel felt like a caged wild animal. He had to be calm, for his son, but everything inside him was boiling. When Ellie finally came home, he immediately ran over to her.

"Stay with Teddy and stay at home."

The girl looked at him surprised. "But what happened?"

"I have to do something." He grabbed his jacket. "Ellie,  this is really important."

Teddy ran over to them and hugged the girl, shouting "Hi", but seeing Joel leave he quickly said, "Are you going to help mommy?"

Joel smiled at him. "Yes, 'bear cub'. Stay with Ellie and be good."

Before the teenage girl could ask anything, he was already outside. He decided to go to the bar first since it was the time most of the men gathered there. And he hit the jackpot.

Anderson was sitting at the bar drinking whiskey. As usual, he was wearing a shirt and tie, and everything about Joel was going crazy. A fucking asshole pretending to be an elegant doctor. He wasn't going to play. He walked quickly to Anderson, ignoring the surprised look from Claudia, who was standing behind the bar. He grabbed the man by the arm and turned him around.

"What?"

"Fuck off from Y/N!" he growled. "If you touch her again, I'll break your arm."

Anderson snorted and looked unfazed. He thought he was in no danger. He lowered his voice to a whisper and asked, "That little bitch complained to you?"

Joel released him and took a step back, only to gain momentum and punch Anderson in the face with all his strength. The man screamed in pain and fell from the chair to the floor and clutched his nose.

"Fuck! You broke my nose you psycho!"

Joel laughed. "It's good that you're a doctor... You'll be fine." Then he kicked the man in the ribs.

He was about to strike another blow, but some men grabbed him and pulled him away from Anderson.

*

You were just leaving the stable when a panting Claudia ran up to you.

"Y/N!!!" You froze at the nervousness in her voice. At first, you thought something had happened to Teddy. "Joel went crazy... He broke Anderson's nose!!!"

Your heart sped up and your breathing became ragged. Many thoughts ran through your head, and you realized pretty quickly that there was only one reason for Joel's behavior. Teddy must have seen Peter attack you and tell Joel. You looked at Claudia and tried to swallow, but your throat was completely dry.

"Where are they now?" you croaked.

"In Maria's office." You nodded your head and wanted to move, but your friend grabbed your arm. "What happens?"

"I'll tell you everything, but now... Now I have to help Joel."

You couldn't believe you said those words and you were just as shocked as she was. She finally let you go, and you ran to the building that served as something like a city hall. People met there, discussed problems, planned activities for the future, and made important decisions.

You burst into Maria's office without knocking and quickly noticed Joel sitting on one of the chairs. Tommy held his shoulders tight. In the second chair was Anderson with a bloody nose, and across from them was Maria. This scene was a bit funny. They looked like two teenagers in the principal's office, but you had no reason to laugh. As soon as you entered, everyone's eyes focused on you. Anderson spoke first, of course.

"There you are. Tell that lover of yours that I didn't do anything to you."

Joel immediately tried to jump up. "Shut up your mouth, or I will break your jaw!"

You felt like the world was spinning around you. Two men who hurt you were in the same room, and you had to choose between them. You saw Maria say something to you, but you didn't hear what. You wanted to run away. You wanted to leave Joel and Anderson behind. You wanted them to kill each other. But then you thought of Teddy and shouted, "Enough!!! I've had enough!" Everyone suddenly fell silent and you looked at Maria with tears in your eyes. "I'm sorry, but I can't take it anymore. Anderson sexually harassed me when I came here. When I rejected him, he began to abuse me. Sometimes he hit me, sometimes he insulted me ... I didn't say anything because... He's a doctor and everyone needs him."

Maria walked over to you and put her arm around you.

"She's lying," Peter moaned.

The woman gave him an angry look. "Be silent!" She looked at her husband. "Tommy, take him home. He's not allowed to go outside. I'll take action later." She led you to the door. "Joel, stay here. I and Y/N will be in the next room."

Joel didn't look pleased. He wanted to make sure you were okay, but finally nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

*

You told Maria everything, and she listened to you patiently and looked at you sadly. When you were done she said.

"Y/N, no one has the right to act like this. It doesn't matter that Anderson is a doctor... For God's sake, he should care more about everyone."

"I thought no one would believe me," you whispered.

Maria squeezed your arm. "I believe you." She sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Stay here for a while, I need to talk to Joel."

You nodded your head and watched her leave the room.

*

Maria looked at Joel and gasped. "I don't know what to do with you. I want to throw you out of town, but at the same time, I'm grateful to you. Though I don't understand why you suddenly decided to play a knight."

Joel jumped up from his seat and glared at her.

"Because Y/N don't deserve to be treated like this and my son doesn't deserve to be worried about his mom."

Maria frowned. "And suddenly you're the one who protects and cares for her?"

"What do you mean?"

"You hurt her. You took advantage of her. In the old days, some courts might even consider it rape!"

Joel winced and took a step back. "I didn't rape her... She wanted it. She was an adult and she didn't say no."

Maria looked at him with contempt. "Is that your explanation? You are and were much older than her. You saw how naive and in love with you she was. Just because she didn't say no, that she didn't scream, didn't run away, doesn't mean she wanted it, that she wasn't scared, hurt... Besides, it means Anderson had a right to bully her too because she didn't object."

"This is not the same!" he growled. "He had no right to lay a hand on her."

Maria laughed, and his fury flooded over him. "Why? Explain it to her. The man she loved hurt her and didn't respect her. Why should other men treat her better?"

Joel's shoulders slumped. Was it really like that? The way he treated you changed your life forever

"I didn't mean to hurt her... I was different."

"Possibly, but you seem to have gone back to your old ways. We don't break other people's noses here."

"What are you going to do? Let's get this over."

"I won't do anything. Let Y/N decide what to do with you."

Joel opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He could fight clickers, robbers, or FEDRA without fear, but putting his fate in your hands. It terrified him. You had your revenge.

"Maria... Please."

"I'll talk to her and tell you what decision she made."

*

You looked at Maria as if she had just told you that aliens had landed in the city.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. You decide his fate. He's to go to a cell, he's to be kicked out of town."

"No," you whispered.

"Isn't that what you wanted? He broke your heart and you hate him."

You shook your head and replied, "I don't hate him for breaking my heart, but for the way he did it. And you're right, I wanted to throw him out but... That was before my son loved him and before I met Ellie. If I kick out Joel, I'll punish the kids too."

Maria sighed. "At least a cell for two weeks?"

"NO." The woman was clearly shocked by your answer. "I'm sure Teddy asked him for help, if I lock up Joel, my son will think it's his fault."

"You're too good."

You shrugged. "Let him take over my stable duties for the next week, I have to leave for a few days." Maria nodded and you just left. You wanted this day to end.

*

Joel opened and closed his mouth. Then he finally managed to say, "Nothing? Just a stable?"

"Yes," Maria repeated. "Believe me, I'm not enjoying it at all."

Joel was no longer paying attention to her. He grabbed his jacket and quickly headed for the door, but a woman's voice stopped him.

"Joel!"

He looked at her annoyed. "What?"

"Leave her. She doesn't want to see you."

"Maybe she doesn't want to, but she needs to hear something from me."

Joel ran outside. He must have found you and it didn't take him long to catch up with you.

"Y/N! Wait, please."

You looked at him with tired eyes. You were emotionally exhausted and didn't know if you could handle another asshole.

"What do you want, Joel?"

He walked over to you and stopped some distance away. You saw that he was nervous.

"Thank you for not kicking me out."

You shrugged and murmured, "I did it for Ellie and Teddy."

He nodded and licked his lips. He took a deep breath, looked you straight in the eye, and said. "I'm sorry... For everything. For today and... Especially for Boston. I know I made you thought that Anderson has the right to treat you like this."

You stared at him blankly. You didn't feel any better thanks to his apology. It was as if everything had come too late. The losses have already been done.

"You think you fixed everything because you hit him?" He shook his head on 'no'. "Good, because then you'd be a complete moron."

Joel winced slightly. "If I could turn back time."

"But you can't!" you growled. "And I don't want it." He looked at you surprised. "Then there wouldn't be Teddy. I don't regret having him. I just don't want him to be like you."

Joel swallowed hard and looked down. "He won't... He... He has the same goodness in his as you have. And I'll do anything that he not to be like that. Even if I have to pull away."

You were so surprised by his confession that you stepped closer. "A few weeks ago you begged to see him and now you would give it up?"

He nodded and looked at you sadly. "If it was for his own good. I don't want him to be like me. I really regret what I did to you."

"I don't want your apologies or regrets," you said confidently. "I want to know why? Why did you do this to me?" You tried to keep your voice confident, but it trembled at the last question: "What's wrong with me?"

Joel gasped sharply and took a step towards you. He stopped himself from hugging you at the last moment. "There's nothing wrong with you," he said firmly.

"Why?" you repeated the question.

Joel closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, you saw something new in them. He was vulnerable… As if he really decided to open up to you.

"You were beautiful, smart, good and so young... You still are, but in Boston, you were like a delicate flower that grew in a dump. And I was garbage. And for some inexplicable reason, you chose me..." He sighed heavily and gently brushed your cheek. "I tried to push you away. You know it. I was myself. Maybe even worse. Remember when you used to bring me cookies and I never thanked you for it." You nodded. "I thought it would make you stop doing it and make you realize that I don't deserve it. But you were relentless." He paused for a moment, knowing he was approaching the worst part. "That night... Part of me wanted to hold you in my arms and treat you like a delicate flower, but the alcohol awakened that animal side in me. The one that wanted to destroy you. Hurt you so much, that you would never again, come near to me. And it did. You left and I…” He snorted and shook his head at the memory of what an idiot he was. "At first I was glad you were avoiding me, then I realized you weren't anywhere in Boston. I even paid "old Robert" for the information. He told me you left town with Claudia and some other people. I know you won't believe me but... Then I thought you would die because of me, and I added you to the rest of my sins, and then I saw you here, alive." He smiled slightly. "And all I focused on was that if you're alive, I haven't done anything wrong, but that's not true. If I wasn't such a monster in Boston, you wouldn't fall into the arms of another monster. Y/N, I don't know if you'll ever forgive me, but I promise I'll never hurt you again."

You didn't know what to say. It was all too much. You had to clear your head. You finally whispered. "I'm going away for a few days and I'm taking Teddy."

Joel looked at you worried. "Where? Alone?"

You nodded your head. "To a safe place. To friends who live out of town. They're like grandparents to Teddy."

Joel looked at you sadly and nodded his head. "All right."

Once upon a time, you would give everything to make him look at you like that. With those puppy eyes, but now... Now you just wanted to be away from him.

"I know we're going the same way, but could you..."

Before you could finish your sentence, he said, "I'll take the long way. I'll go around."

You nodded and turned away from him, walking briskly forward.

Joel stood there for a few more minutes and watched your silhouette get smaller and smaller until you disappeared completely. And he felt that painful grip in his chest. The one he hadn't felt for many years and understood that he would do anything to make you forgive him.

*

My baby,

Wide eyed and pretty

You're a body I could hold

You are a good woman I'm told

I made a lot of mistakes,

And you know some of them made me

You may think me a fool,

But I am a good man too

I am a good man too

Sanders Bohlke - My Baby

Part III

Part V

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#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller and you #joel and ellie #ellie williams #joel is daddy #joel is asshole #angst #hurt #too many emotions #sadness #tlou fanfiction #the last of us

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

Reputation to Midnights and Final TPD Predictions

With 4 days until the Tortured Poets Department and two lines of lyrics we have so far, here are my thoughts on how we got here over the last 5 albums and final predictions for what's coming on Friday:

2016 changed the game - reputation era and long-term bearding

Many people might disagree, but I think the year 2016 changed a lot of things for Taylor. Without going into detail about snakegate, a possible failed coming out and scrapped album and the presidential election, her music has had a different tone ever since reputation (and I don't just mean sonically). As someone who writes a lot about love and relationships, the way she was writing about them changed from fairy tale love, pining and heartbreak to forever/long-term love, commitment/endame, 'us against the world' sort of love. And I do think she wanted to put that album out in 2016 but can't really do that when you're newly single and writing about wanting forever with someone... so in came Joe Alwyn who became the free pass for writing songs about long-term relationships, marriage and kids for the next six years. But LWYMMD (the song and the mv) made it pretty clear that this was not her first choice. Whatever happened, she had her agency taken from her, and she was mad about it. She may have made one hell of a comeback, but rep Taylor was on a revenge mission, and she has been ever since. Now, add to that the very same people foiled her coming out (possibly) a second time in 2019, I can well imagine the tortured poet that Taylor became during the pandemic with all that built up anger and misery pouring out into the folklore and evermore albums. And my guess is that with the plan to re-record the first 6 albums came an idea of how she could possibly get her revenge after all, which brings us to Midnights and TPD.

Midnights and Tortured Poets Department - Reflection and melancholia

Midnights had a similar tone to me than what we have seen of TPD so far: introspective, sombre and looking back on happier times and missed opportunities (hence the whole '13 nights throughout my life' concept). There is a lot of wondering about what ifs and regrets and always with a sense of vengeance in the background, which shows how Taylor clearly holds a grudge and has a hard time letting things go that have hurt her. And this continues in the two lines we have seen from TPD so far. The 'full eclipse' gives me love blackout vibes and this line

is so similar to many folkmore and Midnights songs where she talks about not being able to move on from a traumatic event (failed coming out *cough cough*). So, this album clearly continues the theme of reflection, regrets and vengeance, but with an additional touch of reckoning or impending judgment. I've seen some people say it seems like Taylor is putting someone (else or herself) on trial, and both the evidence file esthetics and the legal language she has been using in the hidden words puzzle on Apple Music have been feeding that theory:

She told us back in February she'd be entering all of her defenses and her muses into evidence, so is she the one being trialed and we are the jury? Or is she presenting evidence in her defense and accusing someone else? I initially thought the former, but now I'm thinking it could be either or both.

The songs will tell the story of the most painful times of her life and we will be able to decide if she chose her suffering or if the context/industry is to blame. My favourite swifties pointed out this morning that the ‘un-recall’ lyric is a parallel to CIWYW “I recall late November”. So what is she trying to forget? The 2016 election. The start of the love blackout. Much like the ‘full eclipse’ lyric. They almost had it all but then her plans got foiled and Tr*mp was elected which forced them underground. And where did she run off to? London. And what’s track 5 called? So long, London…

So, a lot of this album so far gives 2016 vibes. And I’ve said in a previous post (here) that the visuals seem very rep-inverted. Black vs white and the half yin-yang ☯️ in the logo. It’s looking likely that this is going to be the reflection on that time where her vendetta originated before she goes for revenge. And I’m not trying to clown but the rep parallels haven’t stopped:

This QR code mural in Chicago is very rep-cover coded and leads to a website that has the same 321 error message as the TS website the night of the Grammys. The message then was red herring. And not to sound too crazy, but I've said from the start that something feels off with this album. The absence of proper promo or merch is still weird. And would an entire album as a red herring be too crazy? Probably. But is she a crazy woman? Definitely! 😉

#tortured poets department #tpd #reputation #midnights #final thoughts and predictions

[stories-untold]

The plight of the Palestinians (an unfair fight against dehumanisation, and the impact of our activism)

before I start, I want to preface by saying that, I'm not writing about the Palestinian genocide because I find it fascinating in some morbid way, or for any other fucked up reason. I'm writing this because I love to write, and I want to be able to use my love for writing as a means to amplify the Palestinian cause, as everyone should with their talents or hobbies, if possible. (I know no amount of words that I've written here could be enough for the lives we've already lost, so I'll just keep writing until I physically can't anymore. my heart goes out to evey single Palestinian. ) also, my thoughts were a extremely jumbled bc the Palestinian cause is extremely important to me, so I apologise if its not the smoothest read through.*also, I have a public Palestine playlist on tiktok, with over 2000 tiktoks filled with information, ways to help, and every gofundme that I come across, and I would be an idiot to not use this post as a way to ask you to check it out (my username on tiktok angelwingsdotcom, no need to follow me just save the playlist) thank you, and free Palestine 🇵🇸‼️*

there's a very depressing pattern that's hard to miss while watching the Palestinians displaced within Gaza as well as their families outside of the country ask people to donate to their gofundmes or PayPal accounts, and it speaks to a much larger issue. they must always try to convince the viewer that they to, are worthy of living a normal life, through self humanisation as a direct pushback to dehumanisation that they face by the hour. they speak of the ages of their youngest children, the ailments and disabilities of their family members, and talk of their hobbies, jobs and likes and dislikes, and it serves as a reminder. a reminder that they are all human, as are we, the ones on the other side of the screen, safely away from the carnage that they face at the hands of the "Israeli" offense force. I find myself being disgusted at the world that they need to do this, use a love for video games, or a 10th birthday missed, or the cries of a newborn baby, to contextualise that this genocide is happening to real people, kind people, undeserving people.

the global pandemic of apathy is currently attempting to bury any sense of solidarity we have amongst each other alive, shovel in its bloody hands. the amount of people who vehemently refuse to boycott any brand, with a shrug of their shoulders and a swift "I have my own problems, and I don't live there so." stands between the space of distressing, delusional, and blood curdling. since when did the metric for whether or not you should care about the ethnic cleaning of a people, depend on your proximity to them? how can any living, breathing, feeling person watch on and see the corpses of lives that we will never be able to get back even if a ceasefire is called tomorrow, and decide to simply not care? I ask these questions rhetorically, because I don't want to hear anything from someone who does not care about the lives of others.

sustenance of the self is extremely important, that is something I acknowledge, but the acts that one can undertake in order to support the Palestinian cause are so simple, that they should not incite so much defensiveness from those who have their own internal issues. all it takes is a repost here, a comment or a follow, lending and an eye and an ear to bare witness to the atrocities that Palestinians are being subjected to the IOF and the billions given to them by the USA (a country which had many issues of its own, none that will be fixed by the relocation of money to an active genocide), boycotting pressure targets and finding alternatives of which there are plenty. all these acts culminate towards the eventual true freedom of Palestinians, and yet, people refuse. individual efforts are deemed useless, and people are able to comfort themselves in their apathy through the belief that their efforts would nevertheless be in vain. but that could not be further from the truth.

its incredibly easy to feel useless when watching the violence being inflicted by isnotreali murderers posing as soldiers on Palestinians in real time, but I want to remind you that each little action you take helps. I remember a few months ago, my brother asked what I thought I was doing by boycotting McDonalds when almost no else in the country is, and my answer was simple. I don't care what others do, I know what and who I care about, and I care about Palestinians, and they asked me to boycott, so I will. and my boycotting, however small it is on an individual scale, is made so much more impactful by people who similar beliefs, thus making my boycott significant through unity. and that is the one weapon we can wield against our oppressors, togetherness. they try to convince that you can't do it alone, and the truth of the matter is that you can't. but you're not doing it alone. I'm just a girl living in South Africa, and you're probably somewhere else in the world, and yet, your and my efforts mixed with everyone around the world, will incite change, do not be discouraged or manipulated into believing that you are not helping, because you are, no matter how small your effort may feel.

if your individual effort truly didn't matter, then zionist would simply turn the other way, and yet, they consistently parrot each other "boycotts don't do anything" "reposting a video isn't gonna help anyone" but they know the power of people standing together. they use it too, flocking to pro Palestine posts and floding the comments with the same falsified information and zionist rethoric, and if they can he united in their hate, then surely we can do the same. so keep posting, keep commenting and sharing, keep donating, and keep your eyes on Palestine, because you mean so much more to the people currently in gaza than you could ever know.

the goal of zionism is not to get people to hate Palestinians or Arabs, the end goal is disinterest. they want people to hold their tears and roll their eyes when they hear the cries of a Palestinian baby, and the current generation is already so uncaring even with no ties to zionism. its disgusting, and the attitude of "what can I do?" only works to aid the zionist agenda. its especially disheartening to Palestinians displaced within gaza right now, as they only have us to count on. they've pleaded with us to listen, and given us simple instructions, it is truly the humane thing to do to follow them. my fyp is almost exclusively Palestinian informational videos, updates, and gofundmes, and that's thanks to my personalised algorithm. but if I were to take this very platform as an example, 3 or 4 months ago, Palestine was first on trending, but now it isn't even in the top ten. people are losing interest, and it's heartbreaking.

people are even going as far as to defend others for not using their platforms to speak on the Palestinian genocide and its truly mind-boggling to witness. they deflect by asking why we put pressure on influencers and celebrities instead of politicians, but I can't help but wonder, since when were the two mutually exclusive? I've seen countless videos of protesters interrupting politicians during events and calling them out for not only being complicit in genocide, but actively defending and funding it. we can do both, and I refuse to be shamed for expecting people who have large audiences to do the right thing, the humane thing, and speak on the genocide of Palestinians. if anything, all the celebrities and influencers staying silent, whether it be for money or to keep their status within the entertainment industry, or simply because they couldn't be bothered to care, they should be ashamed.

it's obviously impossible and frankly unhealthy to be consuming the harrowing updates and videos of corpses run over by IOF tanks, the bodies of starved babies, and the blood in the hands of parents who cry for the children to wake up, and that's not whats expected of you. find a balance that works for you, that's vital. but completely taking your eyes away from the genocide, muting the word Palestine, and carrying on exactly as you were before the genocide started, isn't the answer. please, use social media to help Palestinians, it's easy, it's effective, and people are counting on you.

Palestine will be free, and having a small hand in their eventual freedom, is worth so much more than fame, or money, or a big mac, or coffee. even in the midst of a genocide, Palestinians continue to exhibit a care for others, they help those around them, use the tiktok sounds dedicated to other genocides and crisis around the world, and they always express their gratitude for people donating, liking, commenting and sharing. they show more humanity and kindness than us who are sitting comfortably in our homes, not constantly surrounded by rubble, blood, screams and cries for help, and drones flying above, remnants of what once was. they deserve to live, and we should not need convincing of that irrefutable fact. I am not in proximity to Palestine location wise, I'm not Palestinian, or Muslim, or Arab. but I don't need to be, and neither do you.

Free Palestine.

#palestine #free palestine #free gaza #palestinians #free palestine 🇵🇸 #i stand with palestine 🇵🇸 #from the river to the sea 🇵🇸 #free gaza 🇵🇸 #فلسطين 🇵🇸 #free 🍉 #palestine 🍉 #watermelon 🍉 #🍉 #donations #gofundme #free #motaz #essay #essay writing #united nations #tiktok #writers on tumblr #disney #mcdonalds #starbucks #pizza hut #gaza genocide #gaza strip #gazaunderattack #gaza

[foxes-that-run]

That timeline makes me wonder where HS fit into it all or if he even did during those years outside of writing songs about each other.

I don't think they seemed that close in the 2021 and 2023 grammys. To me, the interaction looked like they hadn't talked in a long time but that's just the feeling I got from it.

I also remember when he wore the midnights coded outfit I think the same night she wore the midnights dress during the 2022 VMA's afterparty. Not sure if that was a coincidence or if they had gotten in contact around that time.

The most confusing thing was what happened once her breakup became public. He was single then and instead she got with MH? With them both being available for the first time in years, you would've thought they would've jumped at the opportunity based on all the songs written throughout the years.

Hi Anon

That timeline is about her break up with Joe, Harry stuff is in this timeline. I don't think she left Joe for Harry, or that they even dated in 2021.

My pure speculation is that 'The 1' and 'Late Night Talking' did happen while they were both in LA in the pandemic. She didn't want to break up with Joe, so H went back to Europe. In California Harry refers to a 'Summer's death left to breath'. Love of my Life is about letting her go, it was written early 2021.

He approached her, in public, at the 2021 Grammys, (which is unlike him) it was maybe an olive branch and it was the first time they spoke in public since 2012 - who could blame them for being tense.

In May 2021 they were both at the Brits, no photos together, Joe was in Belfast. Seems like nothing - were it not for for Glitch.

By October 2021 he made heart eyes high in the crowd in Nashville, changed that setlist to include TBSL. It was the day after one of their anniversaries. She was in Nashville. While there, he wrote Satellite at Cave Studio - the song says 'I can see you're lonely, don't you know that I am right here'. Then matching outfits for re-records started.

Then 'You're losing me' written in December. HH came out in March 2022, Joe interacts stopped. I also assume she was at the NY ONO show, she was in NY. H touring and dating OW until October 2022. Midnights has songs on it that imply they had spent time together.

The 2023 Grammys was even more public because it was a full audience, she came over to him, knowing it would be on the internet. They touched, fist bumped, hugged, held eye contact. He touched the bare skin on her back. Which.... he 'should think about the consequence of touching her hand in a darkened room'.

That timeline has Matt Healy on it too. .... Taylor and Tree would have had the Joever announcement well planned, Invisible String on the setlist and all, and considered who she publicly dates first after. People were really invested in Joe, that announcement was for the fans, not Taylor.

Again speculation, but I think they think of each other as End Game and maybe aren't ready for that. But if they were, she wouldn't go public with a very famous, very divisive relationship lightly, quickly or as the first after Joe. Although I do think think in 1989 vaults and media have given them an updated fan temperature on it.

#haylor

[jungk0oksthighs]

Over The Odds | Best Friend pt.3

Pairing - jungkook x reader

Genre - smut, angst, fluff, S2L, ceo!jungkook, sugardaddy!jungkook

Word count - 1.6k

Drabble 6 - Taehyung surprises Jungkook at his office 

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex

FULL SERIES COLLECTION

Jungkook sits with his thighs spread wide beneath his desk as he analyses the new health and safety training material all employees must complete before their contracts can be renewed. The company policies have changed from what they used to be - thanks to a good old global pandemic, and so he’s ensuring there are no loopholes his workers can take advantage of. Normally he would assign somebody else such a mundane task but it’s 7:10AM, he’s the only person in the building and frankly he has nothing better to do right now.

His body still aches from the events that unfolded over the weekend, though he welcomes the burning sensation that follows his every move – it’s a reminder of how he’d spent the first two days of his first ever relationship with his first ever girlfriend. It goes without saying but he fucked you everywhere; in the bed, on the kitchen countertop, in the shower, on the sofa, against the coffee table, in the bath tub, pressed up against the window, he just couldn’t help himself. He’s smirking at the mere thought of it all.

“Morning.” Taehyung pushes the glass door wide, forcing Jungkook from his daydream.

“Morning, why are you here now? Our meeting isn’t until six tonight.”

Tae holds up a large brown paper bag stained with grease, sitting in the swivel chair opposite “Figured we could have breakfast together, I don’t have to be in court til ten and I’m hoping to get a plea deal too so it’s an easy day for me. Wanted to stop by and say hello.”

“That’s-, Uncharacteristically nice of you.” Jungkook looks… Shocked, there’s no other word. “Is that McDonalds? Since when do you eat McDonalds breakfasts?”

Tae shrugs nonchalantly, “It’s a very good hangover cure.”

“You went out last night?”

“No, but I did accidentally drink two bottles of wine with dinner last night. My head feels a little sore this morning, hence the McDonalds. You want any of this?” Taehyung asks as he begins to unpack what can only be describes as a family sized breakfast banquet.

“I ate already,” Jungkook locks his computer screen and reaches for one of the coffees his friend placed on his desk, “I will have this though, thanks.”

“Mmm,” Tae moans as he shovels hash browns down his gullet, “So where did you go on Friday? Didn’t see you at the club all night.”

To this Jungkook tries his best to fight a smile, “I went home.”

“And Y/N?”

“She came with me.”

Taehyung snort-laughs, “Obviously, I meant have you told her you love her yet? Because it’s getting harder for me to keep it a secret. I almost told Jimin everything because it’s eating away at my insides, you know how hard it is for me to keep a secret.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry that you find it difficult.” Kook rolls his eyes, cracking his stiff neck as he attempts to fight a huge grin, “But for your information she does know yes.”

“She does?!”

“She does.”

“And what happened?! What did you say to her?! What did she say?!” Taehyung seems very excited by this revelation, he even stops eating and settles his breakfast down onto the large wooden desk, completely invested in his friends every word.

Jungkook’s smile betrays him, taking over his face before he has the chance to catch it, “Okay I’ll give you the short version.”

“No, no,” Taehyung wiggles a single slender finger, “I want the extended X rated directors cut version, with running commentary and deleted scenes.”

Jungkook snorts, toying with his earrings, “Okay… Well… Uh-, turns out she feels the same way and she’s my girlfriend now, no contract, no friends with benefits bullshit… She’s my girlfriend.”

“That sounds like the short version.”

“That’s all you need to know.”

“Mmm, she asked you to stop telling me every detail of your sex life didn’t she?”

“More or less. Apparently Jimin wasn’t happy that she hadn’t told him about what happened on the jet and you went and dropped her in it.”

“That bitch.” Taehyung runs fingers through his rich hair with a playful expression, “Doesn’t mean you have to listen to her though, come on give it to me. I haven’t had sex in months you’ve gotta give me something to think about later.”

“You need to get laid.” Jungkook’s laughing into the takeout coffee cup, spreading paperwork over his desk in the order of importance things need to be dealt with today.

“Is her mom hot? Jimin mentioned you’ve met her once.”

“I am so not answering that.” Jungkook’s nose scrunches.

“What about her dad, is he a silver fox? Any siblings, are they hot?” Taehyung doesn’t quit, his voice has gone up three octaves to what it normally sounds like, his brows raised expectantly.

“He was admitted to hospital Tae, I haven’t actually met him yet. Yknow I’m not sure if she has siblings actually I’ll have to ask. But show a little bit of restraint my god.” He shakes his head, still laughing mostly to himself.

Taehyung rolls his eyes as he tries to justify himself, “You have a girlfriend, you, Jungkook, my best friend… Have an actual girlfriend. A hot girlfriend. The least you can do is set me up with one of her hot friends. Does she have any hot friends? Tell me she’s got hot friends.”

“Mmm, does Jimin count?” Kook doesn’t need to look at his friend to know he’s suddenly turned awkward, he’s not one to pry into Taehyung’s sexual preferences but even he can’t help but notice how close the pair have gotten recently.

“Ha ha.” Taehyung’s tone drips sarcasm before changes the subject, unwrapping more food, “So what do you want me to do with the contract?”

“Burn it, shred it, frame it. Do whatever you want with it, doesn’t really matter.”

“Maybe I’ll frame it and give it to you as a wedding present one day.”

“Very funny.” Jungkook ignores how the idea of being with you forever doesn’t completely terrify him, as it had with past lovers. They do say when you know, you know, and he realises that he knows, all while still arranging pieces of paper. “I’m taking her to Seoul to meet my parents next month.”

“You’re what? Guk you haven’t been to Korea since… I can’t even remember the last time we went. Make sure you introduce her to my mom too.”

“She’s not your girlfriend Tae she’s mine.” Jungkook chuckles, licking his thumb to help separate two pages that are stuck together, “But okay, I’ll introduce them.”

“I can’t believe you have a girlfriend, who even let that happen? You don’t know the first thing about women. When are you going? I might go and see my parents too. It’s been a while…”

“I know a lot more than you, Mr ‘I haven’t had sex in months’ – get yourself a sugar baby.”

“Touché, and I’m starting to consider it… When are you going to Seoul?”

“Beginning of the month, you can take the jet with us.”

“As long as you don’t fuck on it while I’m there.”

“Can’t promise anything.” Jungkook smirks at the memory of you completely naked riding his cock above the clouds, the turbulence in the sky only upping the ante of your ministrations. He’s definitely going to fuck you on the jet again, whether his best friend present or not.

“I’ll check my diary and get back to you. Must be serious if you’re taking her to see your parents.”

“I guess so, I don’t really have anything else to compare it to.” Jungkook sighs as he flicks through the stack of documents he’s just organised, it’s going to be a long day. His company is dangerously understaffed at the minute and giving that his attention has been somewhat…elsewhere of lately, he hasn’t had time to interview any potential candidates, instead choosing to take on the extra workload himself.

“I know you probably don’t wanna hear this but aside from being head over heels for Y/N, Namjoon seems like a nice guy, we stayed out with him for a bit on Friday.” Taehyung’s mouth is full of food as he comes to the end of his feast.

“You’re right I don’t want to hear that.”

“Sorry.” Tae mumbles, scrunching his empty food wrappers into balls, “I’m really glad that you guys are together though, you make a good couple.”

To this Jungkook stops what he’s doing and looks to the other man with furrowed brows, somewhat taken aback by his words. It’s not like Taehyung to compliment anybody, he’d much prefer winding someone up until they’re reduced to tears, Jungkook had seen it happen time after time, he’d even been on the receiving end of it once or twice. He clicks his tongue, cocking his head to one side.

“What do you want?”

“Mmm?” Tae hums with slightly pinched expression.

“First you show up here in a good mood with breakfast, and now you’re being nice to me. A little too nice.”

“Can’t a guy be happy for his best friend finally getting into a relationship?”

“I’ll have to get back to you on that,” Jungkook laughs, “Since mine hasn’t said sex in months.”

“Fuck off.” 

x

#oto #oto drabble #jungkook ff #jungkook drabble #jungkook oneshot #jungkook series #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook #taehyung #taehyung oneshot #taehyung drabble #boyfriend jungkook #boyfriend taehyung #vkook ff #vkook x reader #bts imagine #bts scenarios #bts reaction #jungkook reaction #jungkook mtl #bts mtl #jungk0oksthighs

[lonely-soul-02]

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/noel-gallagher-interview-oasis-reunion-high-flying-birds-l02r389l

Noel Gallagher: ‘Oasis reunion? Liam hasn’t called, but I’m free the back end of 2024’

Aweek or so before Noel Gallagher meets me at his studio in King’s Cross, the Oasis reunion rumour mill went into overdrive. In March, Gallagher’s younger brother Liam wrote on Twitter of returning to his frontman duties: “It’s happening.” In a radio interview in May, the rhythm guitarist Paul “Bonehead’’ Arthurs said: “I’m ready.” Then came reports that Knebworth had been booked for four nights in 2025. So I begin our interview by asking Noel: “What’s happening?”

“Liam ain’t called,” the band’s 56-year-old leader, songwriter and guitarist says, sitting deep in a sofa, an unmoving, authoritative presence with cropped grey-black hair, wearing Levi’s. “I’m not expecting him to, because he’s full of shit and very disingenuous with his beloved Oasis fans. I say to him, ‘Get somebody to call somebody my end. Let’s see what you’ve got to say.’ Guess what? My phone has not twitched once.”

According to him, there is a simple reason why his problem child of a brother will not pick up the phone. “He knows for a fact that should someone call me, and I go, ‘You know what? F*** it. Let’s do it,’ then he has to actually stand in the same room as me. Then it will be, ‘All right, dickhead, how you doing? Before we go any further, there’s a few things I have to say to you.’ That’s when the arse will fall out of his trousers.”

On top of that unhygienic scenario, an Oasis reunion would have to be off the scale in brilliance to not be a massive let-down. The end came in April 2009 when Liam threw a plum — and then, more dangerously, a guitar — at his brother before a concert in Paris, and that was 14 years ago.

“If it’s going to happen, Liam has to pull it off. It’s got to be the best it has ever been. But he’s one of these guys and they’re ten a penny, particularly up in Manchester, the bully, who when you put it on ’em and say, ‘Come on then, let’s see what you’ve got,’ start doing a lot of harrumphing.

“Liam is like a violent version of Arthur Fonzarelli. So I’ll say it again: I’m free, back end of 2024. He could even video himself calling me. That would be good for his little f***ing Twitter feed. But since then he’s gone quiet. Funny, innit?”

All of this feels particularly relevant because the new album by Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds is the older, wiser, sadder cousin of Oasis’s world-changing 1994 debut, Definitely Maybe. Council Skies has a reflective mood that draws not just on memories of Gallagher’s childhood in northern Manchester, but also his situation as a multimillionaire rock star dealing, for the first time in his adult life, with things going very wrong indeed.

There has been a divorce, health issues, and the psychological aftermath of a global pandemic and ensuing lockdown. Perhaps that’s why a handful of the songs, Dead to the World and I’m Not Giving Up Tonight in particular, have that hymnal, bittersweet quality of the Oasis classics Live Forever and Don’t Look Back in Anger. Oasis meant so much to people because they offered defiance against the everyday grind. Council Skies harks back to that feeling.

“I always thought there had to be a price to pay for happiness,” Gallagher says of his situation. “I’ve had over 20 years of absolutely no turbulence in my life whatsoever and I kept thinking, ‘It cannot be this great, all the time, until it comes to the end and I go, may as well die now and end up in Heaven.’ It turns out I was right. Luckily, as an artist you get to write about it.”

Dead to the World is one of those songs that Gallagher has a special knack for, which don’t do anything hugely different from what has gone before yet capture a universal feeling in a signature melancholic, soaring fashion. You wonder if the best material comes out of the most difficult times in his life.

“For sure, and right now it is the most uncertain time I’ve ever had,” he says. “It seems I peaked in my forties, because the moment I hit 50 it’s been one thing after another: personal issues, health issues, the city we love [London] going down the toilet. Definitely Maybe was born out of anxiety, thinking, this is the one shot we’ve got, we can’t f*** it up. There’s something similar here. Uncertainty is at the heart of it.”

Oasis took that uncertainty and made people feel, for one small moment, like they really might live for ever. “People will never forget the way you made them feel. I’ll never forget how the La’s or the Stone Roses made me feel. You can’t go back to 1995 because things cannot be the same — parents grow old, your cat dies, things rust — but the feeling remains and there is something beautiful in that. That’s why Dead to the World is up there with Live Forever. It’s just a different version of it.”

Gallagher grew up, by his own description, as a loner, estranged from his frequently violent father, Tommy, after his Irish parents’ divorce and taking solace in his bedroom in the Manchester suburb of Burnage, where he taught himself guitar and learnt to write songs by listening to the Beatles, Slade and T. Rex. While Liam was busy being the good-looking lad about town, the carefree kid who never second-guessed himself, Noel worked on an escape route via rock’n’roll.

“I didn’t invent anything,” he confesses. “I had good taste in music, a cool record collection, I could write a melody simple enough to make it work and it was 50 per cent inspiration and 50 per cent copying. It was a Tuesday night, raining, when I went into the rehearsal room and said, ‘I’ve just written the greatest tune of all time.’ We started Cigarettes & Alcohol and Bonehead went, ‘You can’t get away with that.’ ”

Bonehead was referring to the fact that Cigarettes & Alcohol is essentially Get It On by T. Rex after a trip to the off-licence, of which Gallagher says: “It’s not like I was expecting nobody to notice.” The genius of the song was in its celebration of working-class hedonism; the idea that you may as well live for the moment in the absence of any deeper meaning or nobler purpose. “That’s why Oasis were the modern-day Slade. They didn’t give a f*** either.”

Oasis’s take-no-prisoners assault targeted a few victims along the way, the most frequent being Phil Collins. What did Gallagher have against the balding king of 1980s smooth pop? “He kept the Jam off No 1 with You Can’t Hurry Love,” he reveals.

“I thought, ‘Once I get there, I’m not going to let him get away with that.’ The best thing about the Phil Collins thing is that Liam got accosted by his children one day because they thought he was me. They had a pop at him, saying, ‘Why are you always having a fing go at our dad?’ When I heard about it I thought, ‘I really hope someone filmed it.’ Anyway, f Liam. And f*** Phil Collins and all.”

As for Oasis becoming the biggest guitar band since the Beatles, Gallagher thinks it was down to a lack of artifice. “Oasis had a laddish, yobbo image, built in the image of the singer, but look at footage of Knebworth [two nights, 1996, two and a half million ticket applications] and you’ll see loads of girls down the front.

“Melodically it spoke to the masses, lyrically it spoke to people our age, and everyone looked at Bonehead and went, ‘If he can do it, any f***er can.’ My guitar rig at Knebworth was a piece of plywood, an on-off switch, and a tuner. It keeps going now because kids recognise the real deal. Oasis will never make another record, but if we put a tour on sale it would destroy everything.”

It makes you wonder if a band like Oasis, who summed up both the meritocratic possibilities of the New Labour 1990s and the black-humoured cynicism of Britpop, could happen today. Gallagher is adamant they could not.

“We would be killed before we even started,” he says with a sigh. “What made Oasis great was that we were moody c***s, a bit wild, and back then labels were run by amazing characters like Alan McGee of Creation and Jeff Barrett of Heavenly who loved the chaos.

“On the ferry to Amsterdam, when everyone got nicked [1994, first European tour, too much champagne and Jack Daniels, fights break out, Liam Gallagher goes on a Benny Hill-like rampage through the casino] I called McGee to tell him what happened and he went, ‘Brilliant.’ Nowadays, the label would wait to see what the public perception was before throwing you under the bus. And the word ‘career’ was never mentioned once. You were in a band. That was enough. And we could pull it off when we went on stage.”

Not always, though: In 1994 Oasis played the legendary Whisky a Go Go in Los Angeles, shortly after taking what they thought was cocaine but which turned out to be crystal meth. It resulted in the band members playing different songs at the same time before attacking each other. “Ringo Starr was there that night,” Gallagher remembers. “He walked out. One of the Beatles comes to see the new Beatles — and it’s shit.”

Gallagher thinks the music industry no longer has faith in itself, with labels monitoring how well an artist is doing with the public on TikTok and YouTube before taking a punt. “Can you imagine going up to someone in 1993, when [jokey indie duo] Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine were smashing it, and saying, ‘Got this idea for a band. Couple of gobshite brothers from Manchester, bang into cocaine, lager and shagging birds, ripping off the Beatles and T. Rex.’ ‘Oh no, thank you. I’d rather have Fruitbat and Dickhead from Carter, jumping about in shorts.’ Don’t focus-group anything! People are stupid! That’s how we ended up with Brexit. Now they will usher in AI. There is no hope for the world.”

How could we not mention AIsis, a virtual band with a “lost” Oasis album, conceived by some thirtysomething musicians who took Noel’s tunes and Liam’s elongation of the word “sunshiiiine” and got artificial intelligence to do its stuff? Needless to say, it hasn’t gone down well with the real-life human at the heart of it all.

“AI: made by robots, listened to by shitheads,” he summarises, before saying in comically pathetic tones: “ ‘Have you heard Ringo Starr singing She’s Electric?’ You’re all f***ing idiots! AI did a cover of Morning Glory and it sounded like shit indie music to me, but I can guarantee you the record companies are already buying up the technology.

“The label doesn’t want the artists to write the songs because they want to employ songwriters. Now the songwriters will be out of business because they’ll employ a robot to do it. You know what? I’m 55 and I don’t give a f***. AI is not going to put me out of the game. It is just going to make your life a little bit shitter.”

Whether Oasis or AIsis will be the first to fill the public’s desire for that much-talked-of reunion, Gallagher has the sanctity of his studio, the reassurance that his children, Anais, 22, Donovan, 15, and Sonny, 12, share his opinion on modern music (“The 1975 wear a guitar and get voted best rock band at the Brits. I’m going to the kids, ‘Is it me or is this shit?’ And they’re going, ‘Dad, it’s f***ing awful’ ”) and the creative satisfaction of making the best solo album of his career. Easy Now, a lonely ballad about strangers passing on the way to work and wondering about each other’s lives, has a mix of grandeur, hope and longing similar to the Oasis favourite The Masterplan.

“I can already picture a sea of lads in Scotland with their tops off, having it to Easy Now,” Gallagher says. “Usually, when a song starts sounding like Oasis I’ll go, ‘This is just a shit version of Supersonic.’ Now I’ve written a song that is a bit Oasisy but it is actually up there with them.”

Gallagher sounds like he has made his peace with Oasis, having made a solo album that doesn’t shy away from the quality that made people fall in love with his old band in the first place. Now he just needs to make peace with Liam and the next chapter in the Gallagher saga will begin.

“A new generation recognises how Oasis wasn’t manufactured,” Gallagher concludes, before heading off because Manchester City have a Premier League game. “It was chaotic, and flawed, and not technically brilliant. Blur did it all with a nod and a wink, but we were rough and ready guys from a rehearsal room and people recognised it. If we did go out and tour again, playing not just to blokes in their fifties but to the kids . . . We’d blow their f***ing minds.”

Interview behind a paywall. Anon, thank you SO much for sharing the content of the interivew.

Noel really wants to fend off any divorce claims on an Oasis reunion, or he really wants to see Liam lose it on Twitter again.

*sigh* Here we go. Isolated quotes:

“Liam ain’t called."

“I’m not expecting him to, because he’s full of shit and very disingenuous with his beloved Oasis fans. I say to him, ‘Get somebody to call somebody my end. Let’s see what you’ve got to say.’ Guess what? My phone has not twitched once.”

“He knows for a fact that should someone call me, and I go, ‘You know what? F*** it. Let’s do it,’ then he has to actually stand in the same room as me. Then it will be, ‘All right, dickhead, how you doing? Before we go any further, there’s a few things I have to say to you.’ That’s when the arse will fall out of his trousers.”

“If it’s going to happen, Liam has to pull it off. It’s got to be the best it has ever been. But he’s one of these guys and they’re ten a penny, particularly up in Manchester, the bully, who when you put it on ’em and say, ‘Come on then, let’s see what you’ve got,’ start doing a lot of harrumphing.

“Liam is like a violent version of Arthur Fonzarelli. So I’ll say it again: I’m free, back end of 2024. He could even video himself calling me. That would be good for his little f***ing Twitter feed. But since then he’s gone quiet. Funny, innit?”

"Anyway, f Liam. And f*** Phil Collins and all."

And finally we get to the core of it all:

“I always thought there had to be a price to pay for happiness...”

Fic writers are going to have a field day with that last one.

With my Oasis conspiracy theory hat off, It certainly does seem as if Noel is deliberately sabotaging any chance of reconciliation. But then he might say Liam did the sabotaging with his uncomplimentary tweets that began with the 'meet him or fuck him off' tweet that came from out of the blue, kickstarting the media spat.

He's using the strongest language to date in this interview, but he's also contradicting himself as usual. Liam is apparently a violent bully but he is also afraid of standing in the same room as Noel.

I also sense a lot of projection. The implication that Liam would somehow not be match fit, or not be able to 'pull off' an Oasis reunion is completely laughable when he's pulled off two nights at Knebworth on his own. This is all Noel's insecurity. Noel is afraid of not being able to pull it off. Because Noel would have to pick up his guitar, assume his old role and solo again. Over the years, he has become self-conscious about his guitar playing. He said that he left behind his ability to play guitar solos in Paris the night of the fight. It wouldn't matter that the songs are old and all he has to do is rehearse them. Noel is afraid of not measuring up. Noel is the one afraid to stand in the same room as Liam.

To be honest, I think they'd both be afraid of meeting each other and that's entirely normal. After 14 years, of course they'd be apprehensive, anyone would be. This is why I wish there were a mutual friend of both, who loves them both equally, and has both their best interests at heart to help them through a reconciliation process. Debbie has said it's not her place to intervene, but that's a hard disagree from me. If people continue to leave them to their own devices instead of trying to support them, the estrangement and conflict will drag on.

Update:

Not taking any bait today, good on you Liam!

#noel gallagher #noel gallagher interview #liam gallagher #oasis reunion speculation #ask #times interview #oasis

[survivorsfm]

good  day,  my  most  beloveds !   since  SURVIVORSFM  turned  three  months  since  its  opening  a  few  days  ago  ( on  the  15th,  actually) ,  i  thought  dropping  our  lore  further  info  was  the  right  way  to  celebrate !   so  here  it  is,  and  it  contains  information  both  about  the  virus  and  life  outside  the  sanctuary,  how things worked in the beginning, how they evolved, and where the world stands now, after more than a decade ( although not in chronological order ) ,   luckily  it’ll  clarify  a  few  things  for  you.   as  usual,  if  you  have  any  questions  or  anything  in  this  arises  other / different  doubts,  feel  free  to  drop  them  whether  through  ask / ims  or  discord  ( lore - ridge  or  questions  channels  would  work  perfectly ) .   hope  you  enjoy  it,  and  happy  three  months  of  survivors,  babes !

( ! )   the  following  information  contains  possibly  triggering  topics  such  as  common  pandemic  lore  ,  military  violence  ,  infection  ,  body  fluids  ,  vaccines  ,  loss  ,  riots  ,  death  ,  and  mentions  of  sexual  encounters  ,  blood  ,  and  wounds.   readers  discretion  is  highly  advised.

⸺    ABOUT  THE  VIRUS.

in  the  beginning,  the  virus  was  also  spread  by  particles  of  body  fluids  in  the  air  ( sneezes,  saliva,  and  so  on ) ,   therefore  the  amount  of  infected  increased  quickly  and  dangerously.   47%  of  the  population  was  dead  by  the  end  of  the  first  year,  and  21%  of  the  living  one  was  already  infected.

scientists  all  over  the  world  worked  relentlessly  looking  for  a  cure,  or  at  least  something  that  could  help  to  improve  things  in  any  way,  and  those  at  the  uc,  armed  with  everything  they  needed  due  to  the  stock  in  the  science  building,  after  months  of  research,  trials,  and  errors,  managed  to  develop  a  vaccine  that  prevented  transmission  via  regular  fluids  from  happening.   every  inhabitant  of  the  sanctuary   — except  those  who  volunteered  as  test  subjects —   got  a  mandatory  shot,  as  well  as  any  newcomer  must  get  one.

three  years  ago,  the  same  group  of  scientists  started  trying  for  a  gas  that  would,  hopefully,  force  the  infected  to  dispel.   to  clean  the  sanctuary’s  surroundings  was  the  main  goal  behind  this  trial.  

poorly  tested  before  the  infiltration  of  the  coalition,  they  discovered  the  gas  had  horrid  effects  on  humans  too,  and  despite  this  being  the  reason  the  antagonistic  group  couldn’t  do  any  more  damage  to  their  home,  the  experts  have  been  dealing  with  the  consequences  until  today.   read  more  about  it  here.

engineers  and  medical  teams  also  developed  a  device  to  identify  infected  using  saliva.   every  new  member  was  tested  at  the  gates  before  being  sent  to  the  quarantine  shack,  and  scavengers  and  scouts  get  tested  every  time  they’re  back  from  their  expeditions  too.

as  often  happens  with  common  rabies,  some  people  get  the  virus  but  don’t  develop  clinical  symptoms.   they  can  live  mostly  a  normal  life,  but  since  they’re  carriers  of  the  lyssa,  they  can  infect  others  via  unprotected  sexual  encounters,  blood,  and  direct  contact  between  open  wounds  and  soft  tissue.   if  you  want  your  muse  to  be  part  of  the  immune  carriers,  please  hit  us  up !

⸺    ABOUT  LIFE  OUTSIDE  THE  SANCTUARY.

as  soon  as  the  virus  struck  and  countries  realized  they  were  facing  a  pandemic,  governments  worldwide  gave  their  military  forces  leave  to  control  the  crisis  and  keep  order,  allowing  them  to  do  it  under  any  means  necessary.

specific,  thoughtfully  chosen  cities  ( those  not  too  big  to  be  hard  to  handle,  but  either  too  small  to  be  considered  towns )  in  every  country  turned  into  safe  zones,  areas  under  governmental  aid  that  stayed  safe  and  stocked  when  everything  around  them  fell  into  demise.   the  military  took  control  to  keep  order  and  safety  in  these  particular  locations.

this,  along  with  the  government  permissions,  later  became  a  problem,  since  the  inflexibility  of  the  forces  and  the  abuse  of  their  authority  caused  animosity  among  the  people.   deaths  of  innocents  excused  under  flimsy  justifications  unleashed  the  inhabitants'  wrath,  igniting  riots  that  eventually  led  to  the  downfall  of  several  safe  zones.   only  seven  remain  in  the  nation  today.

governments  in  most  countries  still  exist,  as  well  as  military  forces.   however,  in  the  states  and  other  big  countries  in  each  continent,  governments  have  added  high - ranked  soldiers  to  their  administration,  a  decision   — a  deal —   that  caused  the  numbers  in  the  military  ranks  to  diminish  rather  drastically  in  the  last  five  years.  only  the  most  brutal,  desensitized  of  them  remain,  which  makes  things  very  hard  for  the  safe  zones  still  standing.

numerous  sanctuaries  have  been  raised  not  only  in  the  states,  but  in  other  parts  of  the  world  too.  most  of  them  keep  communication  with  each  other,  but  the  uc  had  refused  to  engage   —   the  amount  of  kids  within  the  sanctuary  stands  as  the  main  reason  for  this  choice.

the  closest  sanctuary  from  the  uc  is  located  in  colorado  springs,  where  after  a  riot  against  the  military  and  several  losses,  the  safe  zone’s  remaining  group  of  survivors  secured  a  part  of  the  city  where  a  mall  was  placed  and  tried  to  prevail  there.   much  like  the  uc’s  people,  they  started  to  thrive  with  time  and  hard  work.  

after  the  infiltration,  the  uc  council  has  considered  the  idea  of  making  contact  with  them,  to  become  each  other’s  support  and  aid  system,  but  the  fear  of  being  intercepted  by  the  coalition  has  kept  them  away  from  it.

#lore. #appless rp #oc rp #mumu rp #active rp #mature rp #horror rp #tumblr rp #original rp #this is loooong my loves :/ #but you know how i was born with zero chill and too many words dancing in my brain enable me a lil would u : ' )

[borgevino]

so, since last june i've been having about as stressful a time as it's possible to have in an office job. luckily this era is over (i'm still in the same job but now working 10h/wk) and i'm starting to recover.

it's hard to identify burnout / extreme stress while you're going through it (although maybe i'm speaking for myself here). here are some things i've noticed.

major stress symptom i've observed in myself and others: the narrowing of appetite until you're essentially only eating 3 or 4 "safe" things while everything else, even if you have enjoyed it in the past, sounds nauseating. for months, i could only eat taco bell and pizza. this has dramatically improved since i reduced my hours

various life skills i've developed simply vanished. i could not put together a grocery list at all -- i couldn't think ahead to what i would do with ingredients i bought. i also could not handle cooking -- I could barely make rice in the rice cooker. it was like i'd forgotten how. (this is back i'm happy to say! i did have to go "well let me shop like i'm 23 again" to get it but i made two home cooked meals this week)

i also lost a lot of coping mechanisms. all of my bad old protestant thought patterns came back with a vengeance. for example, i was taught growing up that complaining was A Sin -- i've unlearned this but found myself putting "cw complaining" on various tweets (this also is better now)

it became much harder to connect with my friends or my partner. luckily my wife (he/him) and i have done a bunch of work on communication already, but it became harder for me to spend time with him, simply because so much of my energy was spent on work (also improving!)

while i was in the high stress state i tried various remedies:

being comfortable physically and grounded somatically was essential. taking baths with lavender in them, petting the cats (and being sat on by them), taking deep breaths: small things, but incredibly helpful.

weed seriously helped. it affects everyone differently: for me it quiets all the anxiety alarm bells and gives me a 30,000 foot view of the situation. putting things in perspective was often humbling and reassuring at the same time. (i did not try alcohol because of the hangover factor)

there were a couple times when i took a week or two off to try and get some rest. these actually did NOT help; mostly they made things worse. i'd relax a little and then five things would go wrong in my body at once (presumably because i wasn't producing as much cortisol)

notes on recovering:

i'm taking a college class and that little bit of structure on my week is very helpful. also it gets me out of the house -- i've been WFH since the start of the pandemic, and i've gotten out of the habit. days i leave the apartment and do something besides just go for a walk or shop tend to be good ones

i've been sleeping a ton -- 12-14 hours a day, long naps. i'm lucky i can just let it happen -- i'm letting my body's instincts take the lead. if we need to sleep until 1pm occasionally, sure.

in the same vein, i'm not pushing myself. could i have made cornbread or corn waffles with tonight's chili? sure! a year ago i would have. but that sounded tiring, so i didn't. etc etc. i haven't started on the monumental task of getting the apartment to its pre-stress uncluttered state yet, because that would be too big a push for right now. "i will be compassionate with myself" is something i've been telling myself over & over.

it's surprising and encouraging how much things have changed for the better in the course of the past three weeks.

#edification #long post #journal entry

[mattievictoria]

In Najran province of Saudi Arabia, carved in sandstone at the peak of a 200-meter hill facing east, is a petroglyph of a female figure. A petroglyph of a Mother Goddess that when lit by the rising sun, can be seen for miles on end. Over 4,000 miles north from Najran province, on Salisbury Plains in Wiltshire, England, one can find the world-famous Stonehenge— a circle of megaliths thought to be everything from an astronomical clock to a place of healing. Rocks and minerals are all around us, a part of common, everyday life and for time immemorial, our ancestors have prescribed them significant meaning. Since picking up rockhounding during the Pandemic as a way to get outside and still practice social distancing, I’ve become more and more interested in rock folklore which each excursion I take into some defunct mine or rock outcropping. As an artist and life-long folklore and mythology enthusiast, I’ve noticed that when it comes to nature lore, people are, in general, more interested in the lore surrounding things like trees and flowers. While I do love plant lore, the past year or so has seen me diving into the myths associated with rocks, mines and caves. I knew I needed a space to prattle on about my deep-dives, and thus the idea to write this little article was born!

First and foremost, I have to talk about the vittror (plural form of the singular vittra) a type of vættr, or nature spirit, found throughout Scandinavian folklore. I love the stories of the vættr, one of my favorite aspects of the stories being that the vittror can be found living in rocks and trees, and have the ability to harm humans who trespass into their domain. A vittersten is the name given to a boulder or rock formation that a vittra has claimed as their home. All vittror live along leylines called vittervägar, and it’s said that at the points where these leylines intersect, the veil is thinner. Supernatural happenings are more likely to occur in these spots, as well as accidents, illnesses and even death. A vittersten may lie at the intersection of one of these supernatural crossroads, and if you find yourself at such a dubious place, well… you’d best be careful. If you disturb a rock or a tree that a vittra calls home, you may find yourself with a newly-fabricated curse placed upon your person. If you find that you feel a sudden wave of nausea, a chill, or any kind of discomfort, it means you have disturbed a vittra. The best way to remedy this is to apologize to the vittra that you have offended, or leave offerings. There are stories of entire construction projects being re-routed or stopped altogether because the development of that area upset the particular vittra living there. So be careful, because you may find yourself on a hike with the need to relieve yourself behind a rock formation for some privacy… perhaps you are accidentally befouling the site a vittersten!

Another one of the more fascinating stones that have a particular folklore attached to them is the adder stone. The adder stone is a small rock with a naturally occurring hole bored completely through the center. Adder stones have a glassy quality and are usually flint, though in ancient times they were thought to be created from snake saliva, hence their name. Pliny the Elder wrote that adder stones were important to druids, and even until recent times, the adder stone has held a great importance in the British Isles. In England, they’re called Hag Stones, and in Scotland, Mare-Stanes, because it was said that whoever possessed one of these supernatural stones was immune to visits from the Mare or Hag, a vicious being that was said to sit on its victims’ chests while they sleep, causing them to have nightmares. In Scotland, Mare-Stanes were often kept near beds to prevent such night terrors, but they would also be kept on an individual’s person. They had other uses, too, such as being tied up in barns to ensure that a pregnant cow births her calf safely. One interesting story is that of a particular Mare-Stane with two human teeth affixed in the center hole of the stone, bequeathed to a villager of Marykirk, Scotland by an old woman who used the stone as a nightmare deterrent for some 70 years.

If we take a step back from the folklore surrounding individual rocks, and into the place where rocks are taken from the earth, you’ll find that mines of all varieties have a plethora of legend and lore associated with them. Being from California, I have heard many a tale of haunted mines and ghostly prospectors. I have visited the outskirts of the now decommissioned Emma Mine in Acton, California (about 50 miles north of Downtown Los Angeles) and have become intrigued by stories of old and forlorn mines. My interest especially piqued a few months ago when I read a passage from a 1959 article titled Tales of the Supernatural by J. H. Adamson for the Western Folklore journal. There was a passage about a mining site in Utah in particular that caught my eye:

“In another instance, a place was discovered to be demonic, not because of ghostly inhabitants, but rather because of a vein of ore possessed the strange property of drawing all the strength out of the bodies of those who approached it, leaving them weak, helpless and unable to stand.”

Something I discovered during my research I had no idea was a thing (for lack of a better word), was the amount of religious shrines built at mines, mostly to mother goddess and earth goddess figures. This concept of miners descending into the earth’s womb to retrieve precious materials as a highly spiritual and sacred practice makes a lot of sense in hindsight when I thought more about it. In fact, The Egyptian word bi not only translates to mineshaft, but to uterus as well. This was a practice wide-spread throughout the ancient world. At an archeological site known as Wadi el-Hudi in Southern Egypt, there is an amethyst mine that dates back all the way to the Middle Kingdom, over 5,000 years ago from today. Stelaes have been found at Wadi el-Hudi that describe a temple to Hathor that was erected at the ancient mine, where the goddess was evoked to watch over those mining, working, and traveling in the desert. The stela calls her The Lady Of Amethyst, with one inscription stating:

“Give Offerings! Give offerings to the mistress of heaven! Pacify Hathor! If you do this, it will be useful for you, if you give more it will be profitable among you.”

Even in the modern era, shrines have been erected at mining sites. One can find shrines to the Virgin Mary at mines across North America, South America, Europe and South Africa. As recently as the 1980s, a 90-foot statue of the Virgin Mary known as “Our Lady of the Rockies” was built on the Continental Divide 3,000 miles above the mining city of Butte, Montana.

I mentioned earlier in this article that as a Califonian, I’ve heard many ghostly mining stories throughout my life. While we have a plethora of stories, like that of old Joe Simpson and the ghost town of Skidoo, one of my favorite haunted mine stories actually comes from North Carolina. Gold Hill Mines, just outside of Charlotte, is associated with a slew of stories about haunted mines and ghostly prospectors. One of the more ghastly stories is that of an unfortunate miner who possessed some poor judgment— and dynamite— that blew himself up— whether on accident or on purpose, no one knows for certain. Local legend states that you can still hear the phantom explosion, and see otherworldly body parts violently disperse in the air, and then mysteriously disappear. I’m not sure if such a miner actually existed or if this is all local folklore, but it makes for a horrifying —and morbidly fantastic— ghost story.

I do, however, very much want to include a local story. This local story is about a cursed cave. I’m no geologist, but I think it’s safe to say that caves are rock-adjacent. The Cave of Munits is a popular hiking and rock climbing spot in the western San Fernando Valley here in Los Angeles county, but not many people know the legend associated with it. Located 86 miles from the stunning Chumash cave paintings near Santa Barbara, the legend surrounding the Cave of Munits is a tale that has both Chumash and Tongva origins. Munits was a sorcerer that kidnapped and killed the beloved son of a powerful chief. Munits stole the boy away to his cave, while the boy’s tribe stood below the cliff and demanded that the sorcerer return their chief’s son to him. Munits, however, cried “You want your boy back? Well, here he is!” And tossed the chief’s son out of the cave, limb by limb. The powerful chief ordered the death of the sorcerer Munits, sending a hawk to viscerally tear open Munits’ distended stomach as he lay sleeping after gorging himself full on clovers. It is said that the bile that flowed from Munits’ stomach is the origin of bitter clover.

While there are many storied tales and established legends about rocks, mines, and caves, there also exist many amazing stories that regular, everyday people have to tell— myself included. When I shared the bit of lore about the “demonic” ore vein in Utah online, many people shared their own strange rock stories, which prompted me to reconsider some of my own. I’ve had some strange experiences rockhounding, including a strange, deeply emotional experience while rockhounding out in the desert at a site called Gem Hill that is very difficult to put into words. I’ve also found a Mylar balloon at my aforementioned trip to Emma Mine. The Mylar balloon thing is… another story all of its own, but the tl;dr version is that Mylar balloons are frequently associated with the paranormal, especially cryptids, and the area surrounding Emma Mine has reports of everything from Bigfoot to Dogmen.

This article may be coming to an end, but my personal research is far from over. I feel like the folklore and mythology of rocks is often overlooked and forgotten— which is a shame, in so many ways. From prehistoric megaliths, to ancient mining shrines, to the modern day resurgence of adder stones, rock lore has been with us from the very beginning. I hope that in the very least, I’ve piqued your interest… and hopefully cause you to have more than just a passing thought about the next rock you pick up off the ground!

Sources

Adamson, J. H. “Tales of the supernatural.” Western Folklore, vol. 18, no. 2, Apr. 1959, pp. 81–82, https://doi.org/10.2307/1496463.

The Ancient Southwest | Angeline Duran. “The Cave of Munits.” THE ANCIENT SOUTHWEST, 5 Aug. 2020, theancientsouthwest.com/2020/08/03/the-cave-of-munits/.

Earl of Ducie. “Exhibition of three ‘Mare-stanes,’ or ‘hag-stones.’” The Journal of the Anthropological Institute of Great Britain and Ireland, vol. 17, 1888, p. 134, https://doi.org/10.2307/2841595.

Espinel, Andrés D. “A newly identified stela from Wadi el-Hudi (Cairo JE 86119).” The Journal of Egyptian Archaeology, vol. 91, no. 1, Dec. 2005, pp. 55–70, https://doi.org/10.1177/030751330509100104.

Goad, Mattie, and Eli Smith. “Conversations With Eli .” 6 Mar. 2019.

Jarvis, Robin. “The Old Mining Town in Gold Hill, North Carolina, Is Allegedly Haunted with Greedy Ghosts.” OnlyInYourState®, 13 Jan. 2018, www.onlyinyourstate.com/north-carolina/historic-gold-hill-nc/.

Johnson, John R. “The Indians of Mission San Fernando.” Southern California Quarterly, vol. 79, no. 3, Oct. 1997, pp. 249–290, https://doi.org/10.2307/41172612.

Judah, Hettie. Lapidarium: The Secret Lives of Stones. Penguin Books, an Imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2023.

Khan, Majeed. “The Rock Art of Saudi Arabia.” Bradshaw Foundation, Bradshaw Foundation, bradshawfoundation.com/middle_east/saudi_arabia_rock_art/index.php. Accessed 19 Aug. 2022.

Roud, Steve. The Penguin Guide to the Superstitions of Britain and Ireland. Penguin Books, 2006.

#folklore #rockhounding #megaliths #hag stones #vittror

[27-royal-teas]

YET !!! ANOTHER ANALYSIS!! And for good reason this time because people keep misinterpreting Pete’s work to be about Mikey and it makes me fucking PISSED can you not let pete have one thing in his goddamn life i get it its fine to have headcanons and opinions but PLEASE for the love of god please stop discrediting all of his hard work & good writing to be about a white boy he fucked back in ‘05 this CONSTANTLY happens with poc artists and it makes me mad to no end

yep, that’s right. today we’re talking about I Am My Own Muse. writing this essay i have listened to it a grand total of twenty three times 

i like this song a lot specifically because i do kind of relate to it a lot frequently i feel like smashing a guitar until i go insane but i dont have a guitar and i dont know how to play one regardless so. uh yeah

The thing about IAMOM is that it’s saying that in the TITLE. Hes his own muse. And obviously no one can take that away. sure , some of his songs might be inspired by someone, but in the long run, who do they come from? pete. romance songs might not be about anyone in particular. I know ive wrote songs that could be interpreted as romance, but they’re actually me talking to my younger self or my future self or my friend, and the point is, even though songs written by pete may seem like they were about someone that doesnt mean they are and you cant, you CANNOT discredit the fact that he is his own muse. just like the song title says.

The song begins with a BANGING orchestral arrangement. I think the intro to IAMOM is my favorite song intro on the album. It's just very well thought out and clearly carefully planned, and quite honestly I think patrick did an AMAZING job and I'd love to see him do a breakdown of the composition here because I am IMPRESSED. Not even to mention the vocals, he is on FIRE. anyway in the rest of this essay I’ll be interpreting the lyrics and tying them back to the central topic i just opened with: How Pete Is His Own Muse. 

The first verse is quiet, and it begins like this:

“Here i am, not sure you should take a chance

I like playing dumb, letting you figure me out

But i was faded in my own defense

So drop a bomb on the things we dreamed about”

I feel as though this verse is very clear. He isnt sure that the person he’s referring to should take a chance on him, should think that he is worth it, and he likes being able to be up to someone else’s interpretation with no outside influence. i do this frequently with strangers- i stay quiet so that they can make up their own idea in their head about me. They can figure me out themself, since i clearly cant figure myself out, and i think that’s the idea pete is really aiming for here. ‘So drop a bomb on all the things we dream about” can be referring to himself or someone else, but here let’s take it in the context that he’s discussing himself. This line is repeated in the second verse, so it’s clearly one of the main points that needed to be stated here; here he is saying to himself that (again, it’s that self sabotage) he should give it up, give it all up, it’s not worth it, destroy it all, drop a bomb on all our dreams because they aren’t going to happen. Taken together with the previous lines we can basically say that pete is saying that because he is leaving himself open to interpretation from the public, the things he truly meant to say are lost. And i think that’s the main thing here, especially with the title, and obviously im doing it myself, maybe this isnt what he meant at all, but i definitely do think it correlates along those lines to some degree. 

The chorus is repeated several times throughout the song (3 times to be specific) and it goes like this:

“Smash all the guitars ‘til we see all the stars

Oh got to throw this year away

We got to throw this year away like

A bad luck charm” 

And then that repeats twice. 

I think i can safely say everyone reading this right now has gone through the pandemic. I assume three year olds dont go on tumblr. The entire smfs album references 2020 and 2019 time and time again, most critically in What A Time To Be Alive, and it’s heavily present in this song too. “Got to throw this year away (like a bad luck charm)” vocalizes the wishes of pete and everyone else who wishes to cut those years out of their brains- pete has expressed in interviews how taxing the pandemic really was on his mental health, and i think that “smash all the guitars” could symbolize the frustration and pain he really felt in that time; destroying music (one of the main things he loves) until he can sink into that despair and just float away (“‘til we see all the stars”). Another way this can be interpreted is an act of rebellion (a lot of musical artists smash their guitars during shows, cough ryan ross cough) but i dont really think that that makes as much sense in this context. 

The next verse:

“The trumpets bring the angels but they never came

No one let them in ‘cause they didnt know my name

I know i keep my feelings so tucked away

Just another day spent hoping we dont fall apart

So drop a bomb on all the things we dreamed about”

Another very pete based verse (BECAUSE HE IS HIS OWN MUSE). This kind of links to Heaven’s Gate because it’s related to the same thing- not making it on the list, not feeling worthy of getting into heaven, because this sort of self deprecation is reflected throughout most of Fall Out Boy’s albums. I could give a million examples of this, but I don’t want to be here forever. “The trumpets bring the angels but they never came/ no one let them in ‘cause they didn’t know my name” sort of brings to mind the image of a person waiting to be carried away to something they’re not entirely sure they deserve, and they’re proven correct because no one ever came to carry them away, no one ever decided that they’d be on the list to get to heaven and the angels just went marching past and pete can hear their horns, know theyre there for people who deserve heaven much more than he does. How sad is that?

“I know i keep my feelings so tucked away/ just another day spent hoping we dont fall apart” carries the feeling of not wanting to be a burden with every emotion thought and expressed, even the good ones, and ‘we’ can be referring to himself, every single aspect of himself, hoping he doesn’t fall apart into shards of the stars his guitar is made up of. and then of course it’s the line about the bomb again, although this time it feels even more internalized and personal because it’s the second time he said it, and he dreams of getting into heaven but how can he make it up there if the angels themselves know he does not deserve to and so. drop a bomb on all the things we dreamed about, folks, because they aren’t going to happen. 

The bridge: 

“So let’s twist the knife again, twist the knife again

like we did last summer

So let’s twist the knife again, twist the knife again

Oh, i’m just trying to keep it together

But it gets a little harder when it never gets better I'm trying

To keep it together, to keep it together, oh”

To me this entire bridge just feels really deeply confessional and personal. Im going to start at the bottom because i like it the best. 

He’s trying. He’s trying so damn hard- to be optimistic, to be hopeful and stay full of happiness and love but it’s SO HARD when there’s no light at the end of the tunnel to motivate him. This is still talking about quarantine, i think; i remember i was in middle school at the time; they said that we would be back in two weeks. I remember i was grateful to get a break and time off. Then two weeks turned into two years and it got really, really hard to see an end to the pandemic. When things stop improving it gets harder and harder to keep it together when you can’t see the results of any of your actions, when you’re trying your best but it still gets you nowhere. Wouldn’t you stop trying? i know i would.

And let’s talk about “let’s twist the knife” just a little bit. “Last summer” might refer to the last album release, which is Mania (even though it was released in January). Another album cycle, another twist of the knife; another bit of words that pete has to pull out of himself like ribbons, and although he loves it, that’s his job, it still feels like dredging up all the pain again. So let’s twist the knife again, dig it in just a little deeper, just like we did before. 

So, yeah. Pete is his own muse and i truly do think that that is heavily reflected in this song, even this whole album. A lot of songs in smfs seem more him-centered, because he is the writer and he is talking about himself. So Good Right Now and What  A Time To Be Alive are especially good examples of this. 

And the interesting thing about the title is that it’s pulled from a Frida Kahlo quote, which goes like this: 

“I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best. I am the subject I want to better.”

And isn’t that just it? This whole album, it’s an album of self discovery and going back to your roots and staying current anyway. It’s patrick pulling pete out of his funk and getting him back in the game; it’s an exploration of a new style, a new fall out boy. And like a phoenix, every album they rise again, still the same but somehow completely brand new. The orchestral arrangements displayed in IAMOM and SMFS and LFTOS showcase this, the new feeling but still the same, something bettered, and I’m really, really happy with how far they’ve come not only in their expansion of music but also with themselves. And I feel like this song and this title- I Am My Own Muse- is really a stand up, it’s a show of how far they’ve come. Because they are the subject they know the best.

#Toby speaks #Toby’s meta #fall out boy #fob #pete wentz #patrick stump #andy hurley #joe trohman #fob meta #meta #lyric analysis

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, 16yo girl here. I had been questioning what my MBTI type was between ENTP and INTP for quite a long time - I had known that Ti and Ne were always at the top of my stack, but not which one was stronger... until yesterday, when I reflected back on my sheltered upbringing and I came to the conclusion that I was an ENTP, just one with very marked introvert tendencies and possible developmental delays due to combination of a stifled dominant function and possibly autism.

That stifling of Ne is also probably why I have only become more reclusive as time went on - I spent most of my time as a child either at school, the same small private school I've been going to since 1st grade, or at home, mostly on my computer. While in the surface my time on the internet allowed me to have easy access to novelty, it is still doing the same thing over and over again on a grander scale.

Meanwhile, I never managed to truly "fit in" at school, and after starting to make amends with my old friends at the end of sixth grade the pandemic happened, which pretty much meant that the only thing I'd be doing for two years was basically staring at screens all day. Once I returned back to school, I started feeling 'othered' again, and even as I found out it was partially over my own immaturity, I still feel like I will not actually become part of the group right now, that I should just grind it out until it ends, that college, due to the new environment and size will be the time I'll truly begin to shine - further proven by how excited I was when I went to one of the unis I was considering's open day recently.

Meanwhile, my ISTJ mother won't stop comparing me negatively to my brother and on how he was so similar to her in personality compared to me, always implying that I turned out "off" in some way or another, even if she's usually well-meaning.

Thoughts?

-----------------------

I don't guess at type. You've only speculated about one possible function, which is nowhere near enough info to draw any kind of sound conclusion. I generally won't comment on type assessment unless people follow the instructions on the contact page to submit a proper profile of themselves. In short, I won't have any "thoughts" if you don't give me enough to analyze.

You've basically described typical adolescent adjustment issues that anyone of any type can suffer. It is not uncommon for teens to have trouble fitting in. Why? Because they are still in the process of learning good social skills. When you're at the "beginner" level of learning anything, your ideas tend to be very primitive or crude. Thus, from the teenage perspective, socializing often boils down to the idea of "approval", which is taken to mean EITHER be like everyone else OR be an outsider.

Either/or thinking is a form of illogical thinking that creates a false dichotomy, essentially reducing your world to only two possibilities. You said that not being able to find your group right now, maybe it would be better to just leave it until college - once again, your world only has two possibilities. This kind of oversimplified thinking is normal in children and teens, but it is considered a sign of cognitive immaturity in adults (as their thinking hasn't evolved since adolescence). It's not something for you to be concerned about but, rather, something to be aware of and gradually improved upon.

When compared to full-formed adults, young people (<25) are limited in several ways:

They lack life experience, so they haven't had enough time to learn all the knowledge and skills they need to live life well.

They lack cognitive resources to understand complexity because the brain hasn't reached physical maturity yet.

They lack emotional resources to cope with difficulty because the brain is still feeling the effects of changes that began in puberty.

They might also lack confidence due to too many environmental factors being out of their control.

They might also lack direction due to not having access to enough learning resources they need for self-development.

They might also lack purpose due to not having enough access to positive role models, guides, or mentors to help them see the bigger picture of life.

I mention these things not to make teens feel shamed and ashamed for what they naturally lack, but to make them aware of where their potential lies. Your "weaknesses" are just as important for realizing your greater human potential as your "strengths". Weaknesses make plenty of room for learning, development, change, growth, evolution, and transformation... BUT this is assuming you know how to confront weaknesses in the right way. So, reflect: How have you responded to your weaknesses, as signaled through your mistakes and failures?

How do you respond to lack of life experience? Do you keep it that way by locking yourself away? Do you waste your time with trivial experiences? Do you seek out meaningful learning experiences?

How do you respond to lack of cognitive resources for understanding complexity? Do you just reduce everything into oversimplistic ideas? Do you avoid complex situations? Do you study them to grow your understanding? Do you get help for understanding them?

How do you respond to lack of emotional resources for handling difficulty? Do you numb yourself? Do you run or escape from negative feelings? Do you seek appropriate help and support? Do you set out to learn healthy coping skills and strategies?

How do you respond to lack of confidence? Do you shit-talk yourself more and more? Do you write off your future? Do you assert more independence? Do you take more control whenever possible? Do you improve your knowledge, skills, and capabilities?

How do you respond to lack of direction? Do you give up on yourself? Do you resign yourself to the status quo? Do you learn how to make better decisions for yourself? Do you learn how to set and achieve more fulfilling goals?

How do you respond to lack of purpose? Do you settle for less? Do you resign yourself to being small? Do you ignore existential pain? Do you seek answers? Do you set higher aspirations? Do you commit yourself to greater ideals?

Adjustment issues are very likely to get expressed through auxiliary development problems. Since you're unsure about your type, the most I can say is that healthy Ti encourages people to 1) analyze and learn from mistakes/failures, and 2) identify and acquire the knowledge/skills required to eventually succeed. If your response to failure is dismissal, evasion, withdrawal, or avoidance, it means you are choosing to get stuck at a low level of competency indefinitely.

If you are able to get past the beginner level in socializing, you'll start to realize the false dichotomy and how self-sabotaging it really is. Socializing is much more nuanced and complex than "insider vs outsider", and there are more options available than "conform vs rebel". This raises the question of what other options are available to you - it is a question for your Ne to answer.

Yes, it's true that you can't be friends with everyone. But you don't need to be friends with everyone, do you? You only need a handful of close friends who understand you in order to have a satisfying social life. They don't have to come from school or the usual places. They can come through other activities. They can come from all demographics or backgrounds.

Growing up in a small environment puts you in danger of thinking too small all the time. The key is you have to recognize that the world is a big place, so you have to start putting yourself out there to find the friends of best fit. The more people you meet, the more you increase your odds of success. Whether you try now or later isn't the right point to focus on. You're not going to find what you're looking for as long as: you don't actually get up to look, you have absolutely no system or plan for proceeding, and/or you don't have the skills to keep relationships even when you do find good people. You need real-life social experience if you want to improve your social skills. The sooner you get started, the better. It's unrealistic to think that you'll magically be great at relationships just because you started college.

I know options can be limited at your age but 16 is generally the age when teens really start to venture out into the world on their own (without parents/guardians). In many places, you can drive and work at 16. You can start exploring places you've never been to around town. You can join more extracurricular activities/clubs that would put you in contact with people beyond your school. I shouldn't have to tell an ENTP to go out and explore, as you should simply follow your natural Ne motivation. If that motivation is absolutely nowhere to be found, then perhaps reconsider your type.

#entp #auxiliary ti #social skills #adolescence #typing #ask

[putschki1969]

December 17: Kalafina Acitivities & Ambient Border -DAWN- Pre-Event Report

Tweet 1 & 2 by Hikaru | Instagram post by Hikaru

Finally have some time to sit down and post a little. I did tweet a few pictures here and there so if you follow me you will already know what I have been up to. But I have been feeling too exhausted to actually make proper posts. With such a busy schedule, it’s really no surprise that I keep falling into bed as soon as I get back to the hotel. Today was a more or less relaxed shopping day so I got back early.

After arriving in Japan on December 16 and having a pretty hectic first day, I spent December 17 doing a ton of Kalafina-related stuff. Was wearing a HiKei-inspired outfit to match the occasion and of course I brought my Cakey-beret which I won during her fan club lottery. Feels so nice to wear it here in Japan.

A fellow Kalafina-fan was kind enough to accompany me on some of my Kalafina activities. I get lost quite easily so I am always grateful to have someone around who knows the area.

Kalafina Pinky Ring: FINALLY!! I have been waiting for this opportunity FOREVER! The ring is so much prettier than the one they came up with for their 10th Anniversary. Also, they actually wore this themselves. Quite religiously back then. Keiko wears hers regularly up until this day! The other day Hikaru also wore it for Keiko’s birthday live broadcast. I am sure Wakana still owns hers as well.I have always wanted this ring but in the past I was too stingy and then the pandemic happened and I really didn’t wanna order something this pricey online. So yeah, first thing on my list was the AHKAH store. Best Christmas present ever! Is it weird that I kinda feel married to them now? XD Haha, okay, maybe “married” is not the right word. Oh well.I guess you could say that I am feeling a very strong connection now. Even stronger than before.

PIERRE HERMÉ cake: We all know that Hikaru surprised Keiko with a special chocolate cake on her birthday. It was actually quite easy to figure out where she got it from so of course I had to get one. It’s affordable and pretty small so I was able to finish it within a few days. Since it was a special limited Christmas edition, it tasted a LOT like Christmas. Very gingerbread-y with a hint of jam. Delicious!

Meguro River: I’ve never actually been to Meguro river so I thought I’d check out some of the spots that Hikaru had visited. One day I wanna see the cherry blossoms. I kinda regret not coming at night because there seems to be some sort of nice illumination thingy going on there...Oh well...maybe next time.

Ambient Border -DAWN-: Still can’t believe how easy it was to get a ticket for this. Was a bit intimidated by the TIGET service at first but it turned out to be quite convenient. Simple payment and you get a digital ticket. Had no issues with it. Seems like it was on a first-come-first-serve basis because depending on how early you bought your ticket the lower your number was. People were then allowed to enter the venue in order of their number to find a good spot. Thank God they provided chairs! Wouldn’t have liked standing for this event. Anyway, my number was 41 and I ended up on an aisle seat a few rows away from the stage. Pretty much had a clear view. I chose the Christmas ticket so I got a little A4-sized character card as present. Also bought the pamphlet since I hadn’t ordered that online (only got the Asebi bromides back then). The event started with Hikaru’s Ambient Border and OMG, seeing her in real life again for the first time in THREE years almost killed me. I quite literally teared up. To get an up-close view of her in such a tiny venue while she was wearing this super sexy cyber-punk outfit, I mean, who wouldn’t have combusted at that?! Hikaru sounded great and I was happy to finally hear the song live (it’s one of my faves from her album). Also made sure to buy the special Hikaru drink ^_^ It was a fruity ice-tea so thankfully something I was able to enjoy. After Hikaru, Yuki Sasaki sang his song for the the play and that concluded the first live corner. We pretty much transitioned right away to the two Q&A corners. The cast of the play is way too big so they had to separate the group. During the first set Hikaru was on stage together with a bunch of the other cast members (including Yuki Sasaki and Marina Hamada - I feel like their stories will be quite tightly interwoven which is also why they are singing the insert song “Under the Rain” together but more on that later). The mods had a little box from which everyone got to pick two short questions. It was mostly play-related stuff but I loved how carefree everyone was. I’ve actually never seen Hikaru like this on stage. Usually it takes her a while to warm up to her surrounding and most of the time she is a bit nervous or reserved but among this group of nerds she seems to feel 100% at home. She was clowning around with everyone as if she had known them forever. Super precious. Won’t lie, the second section of the Q&A and the prologue act for Ambient Border dragged a bit because Hikaru wasn’t involved in those but overall they were interesting and got me quite hyped for the play. I REALLY hope we’ll get a broadcast just like we did with her first play. They finished the event with another live corner. First Marina Hamada performed her solo song and then she was joined on stage to reveal a brand new insert song called “Under the Rain”. It’s a collab with Hikaru and Yuki Sasaki. All three got to sing a verse and then they all sang the chorus together. The verses are really lovely, the chorus is just okay I guess. I wonder if this song will ever get an official release. There was some talk about a CD but they didn’t really make an official announcement. Honestly, a CD for the entire play would be neat.

I really regret not getting a ticket for the evening show as well just to see and hear a bit more of Hikaru but then again, it was probably a good thing because jet lag would have kicked my ass sooner rather than later.

#kalafina #hikaru #report #ambient border #ambient border dawn #TRIGGER #kalafina pinky ring #kalafina pinkie ring #hikei #personal #long text post

[matt3470srandomthoughts]

Nostalgia

One of the things I've been feeling a lot recently is nostalgia, I have a love-hate relationship with the feeling. On one hand you smile remembering good times but on the other you get sad you can never re-experience that ever again. That's why I try to enjoy so many things in the moment now. But anyway, it's been on my mind a lot. I recently watched a video about a design language called "Frutiger Aero" (video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nL7kTMtvebQ) and this is what I grew up with. Skeuomorphism was rampant during these years, which is considered to be a key part of the design language. This design langauge in operating systems such as Windows 7 and Mac OS X Snow Leopard. These are my personal favorites not just because of nostalgia, but I feel these systems were really refined and looked really clean. It also just felt like you were in a different world, especially with some of those wallpapers. I remember as a kid I would just go through the wallpapers on Windows 7 and imagine the kind of worlds they were in. Truly a magical time. Also around this time, I was first exposed to the iPhone, namely the 4. I was too young to care about "antenna gate" and I thought a touchscreen phone was just so incredible. iOS 4 through 6 were definitely the most nostalgic for me. I remember iOS 5 on my sister's iPod Touch 4, another super nostalgic piece of tech for me. She really liked Owl City, and I would then come to listen to a lot of their stuff too. My favorites were Fireflies and then Peppermint Winter, a song I've been listening to a lot recently, with it being Christmas and all.

Enough about tech, another thing I'm super nostalgic for is TV channels back in the early 2010s. You see back then cable was actually worth watching I feel like, and definitely peaked then until Netflix took over in the mid 2010s. I also miss old Netflix from 2011. It was reasonably priced, no ads and had a good library. As far as TV networks go, I would mainly watch Cartoon Network, Nick and PBS Kids. CN was going through a huge renaissance, with tons of new shows, that are super nostalgic to me now, something I like to dub the "Check It Renaissance" referring to CN's branding at the time. A kind of weird interest of mine is channel idents or bumpers that air between programming and commercials. Check it 1.0 from CN (2010-2013) is by far the most nostalgic for me, with cool flipnote like bumpers, catchy music, and skeuomorphism galore. But PBS Kids' bumpers from around the time (and PBS Kids Go's) are also super nostalgic for me. Nickelodeon's branding was already bland af and hasn't really improved since. But I loved spongebob, drake and josh, and icarly as a kid so I would watch it frequently. I think it was just such a good time for me simply because I was a young kid. I wasn't quite aware of what happened in the world, I just enjoyed life, played with friends, and quite a few family members who are unfortunately deceased now were alive and doing very well then. I think people weren't quite as addicted to the internet back then as a lot of us are now, obviously the internet has done a lot of good over the years, getting us through a pandemic and all, but it definitely has its downsides. I just feel like back then people would only pull their phone out if they had a call, or to show it to friends/family because it was such a novelty then. I miss when technology was advancing so fast, everything new was so cool. Each new iphone was a huge improvement over the previous, while now it feels like the only thing that really improves is the battery. The iPad was first introduced in 2010, quad core processors became standard back then too in desktops and high end laptops... and desktops nowadays are STILL shipping with quad cores. I'm not saying there's been no improvements to tech- that is incredibly untrue. VR has matured a ton since the clunky Oculus DK1 from 2013, 100 core processors are now a thing apparently, Apple's M1 and M2 processors have been able to accomplish things unimaginable back in 2010, and tons of discoveries with technology has been discovered to help the medical field and such. I guess I'm just not a young kid who thinks every new piece of technology is the coolest thing ever haha.

In conclusion, I love the late 2000s/early 2010s, it was just a truly special and incredible couple of years for me. Hopefully one day things like the design language from then will make a comeback or something. Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve. Happy Holidays :)

#nostalgia #frutiger aero #cartoon network #technology #ipod touch #skeuomorphism #iphone #windows 7 #mac os x

[sege-h]

Thoughts on the State of Play reveal

Under a readmore just in case

1- I know I said I'd keep the Son*dow tag blocked for a bit after Prime ended but I think I'll keep it blocked till the end of the year now lmao

2- I know the rumor has been going around since yesterday but I took it with a grain of salt since it's. Yknow. A rumor. But even when I let myself think 'what if its real tho' this is SO FAR FROM WHAT I EXPECTED. A!!! I thought at most we'd get is a remaster that'd also make Shadow playable! As soon as I saw the new level I was like WAIT WHAT. WAIT WHAT!!?!? and it just kept going from there!!!

I'm so happy we'll be getting a HD biolizard fight! He'll no longer be contained to the 3DS! Also from what little we saw Shadow will get to have some dynamic posing in the boss fights, like Super Sonic did in Frontiers. Good! I loved those!

3- Ian Flynn has #KnowingSmile'd the announcement and I'm hoping this means he got to write for whatever new content there is.

And speaking of Frontiers! I'm hoping that this ends up being Shadow's 'Frontiers' moment. In that his writing and character get what Amy's, Tails', and Knuckles' did in Frontiers.

4-I had the stream off to the side in another tab since I wasn't interested in most of what was shown. And then I heard the first few notes of the Generations music and i immediately switched tabs and I just!!! Feel like I did in 2011 except my computer/internet is way better, and you tube is shittier!

5- I'm excited for this for such Me reasons. For those new here- I live in a country that had no Sonic stuff for...well, never, really. Not until about 2022. The second movie did what I'd hoped the first movie would do (but then the pandemic happened) and brought over Sonic stuff here. For the first time in my life I went to a toy store here and it had Sonic stuff. I got to buy physical Sonic comics for the first time. For the first time in my life I can go to a video game store and actually see Sonic games there. It's been wild

That being said, 2011 had Nothing. Sonic Generations came out. And I didn't want to pirate it because a friend of mine had worked on it. I was determined to find it. And I only saw it irl one time- for the Playstation. A console I've never had. It was pretty upsetting! I remember posting about it here even....I've been on tumblr too long SHDGSHDHS

Later I'd find that there was a 3DS version. I have that! So I looked for that version of it alongside the PC one

So, for almost a decade, I looked, to no avail. And for this whole time I refused to look at any playthroughs! Any knowledge I had on whats in the game came from the trailers we saw

And then in 2019 my best friend helped me buy the 3DS version. I had 9 dollars on my 3DS and whenever the game went on sale it'd be on for 10 dollars. So he gave me a dollar and helped me get it SHDGSHDH

So I finally experienced Generations! It was surprise after surprise in that one, because I knew it was different but I didn't know how. I didn't expect a Rush level in it, or for the Biolizard to be in there!

And then in late 2020 when I got my new computer and could finally get steam, another close friend got me Generations for the PC! I'd somehow managed to dodge spoilers on it all those years so all I knew about it was: Theres Green Hill, Chemical Plant, City Escape, and a Silver boss fight.

I got to play modern City Escape for myself- which is the level that inspired the current iteration of my main OC, Storm. It was a joy

All this rambling to say...it's wild to think that once this remaster comes out, I'll be able to get it day 1, at least I hope I will. Still-it won't take me almost a decade to get to it

And if there's a physical release? I'll be able to go to a store here- HERE, not in one of our neighboring countries, not from somewhere else, but in a store here. Right across the street. And I'll finally have a physical copy of Generations. That was my final goal with the game-- I love it, I have two versions of it! And the plan was always that even though I'd gotten to play them now, if I ever ran into a physical copy of the game, I'd buy it. And now I'll really get to do it

6- Bonus thought of me being silly: Wowow my OC was shown at the State of Play--

#Personal #Sonic spoilers #Generations #Sege rambles

[staywithmesana]

First Thailand trip. First out of the country trip with just friends. First Twice concert.

It was surreal. It was epic.

As of this writing, both weekends with Twice are already over and I'm struggling to express my feelings.

There has to be a name to capture this jumble of feelings, right? Cause it has been swirling around me virtually every minute of the last few days as I reflect on my experiences with Twice and gently re-enter the real world.

════════════════════════════════════════════

THE DECISION.

When I first discovered more about Twice, it was a pandemic. "More" since I previously knew them through my great friend Pat, but I never had the opportunity to listen to their music.

It was during More and More when I first saw Sana, and gosh, I know I'm going to love her for the rest of my life. It was as if I had been transported elsewhere, and I craved more of her. I was smitten by her eyes, her tone, and everything about her, especially her orange hair.

I knew I'd do everything to see and hear her and Twice sing live, and I finally got what I'd been hoping for the last four years when I watched the girl herself perform at Impact Arena.

The Ready to Be tour was announced in February, and I was both excited and nervous about whether the Philippines would be included, as they had only announced Part I at the time. Until they announced a few months later that our country will be included in the trip!

I think it was around that time that Hannah introduced me to Rina, and we all agreed that we’d buy VIP tickets. But of course, not everything will go according to plan.

We were only able to obtain Lower Box tickets for both days in the Philippines, which was devastating because we were unable to secure our preferred seats. All the plans for banners and signs that we would show Twice went down the drain. It was then that they decided to plan a trip to Thailand to see Twice. I'm not going to lie; at first, I was skeptical. I was unsure whether my savings were enough, and I am anxious about staying days out of the country with just friends (I’m blaming my introvertness!).

A couple of thoughts came to my mind:

What will happen during our trip? Will I fit in well? Will I be awkward? What if I mess up? What if they don't like me?

──────────────────── ♡❤♡ ────────────────────

But there's just this excitement in my heart that urges me to try new things. I want to try to go to a place where my soul can grow, a place where I can get out of my comfort zone and explore different aspects of myself.

So I said, “Fuck it, I want to see Sana up close!”

──────────────────── ♡❤♡ ────────────────────

The Thailand Ready to Be in Thailand concert ticket sales arrived, and we were worried because this would be our last chance to see them in the VIP section. In comparison to the Philippines, the Thailand website was smooth and simple to use! Just a quick note to self, use a card that is accepted in Bangkok.

A couple of hiccups later, we finally got the tickets!

Relief and delight washed over me as the reality of going to another country to see Sana dawned on me.

──────────────────── ♡❤♡ ────────────────────

I felt slightly melancholy. Another wave of anxiety washed over me as I methodically planned the next trip, thinking that my sister is not going to be with me.

But I know what I want and what makes me happy. And I know that if I prioritize staying in my comfort zone, I would regret not going for the rest of my life. And I don’t want to do that to me.

Deep down inside I know that I am excited, I’m just scared that I will go there, and my head will be full of “Oh God, when is this going to be over?”

Fortunately for me, the friends I went with are the best (I'll dedicate a special section to them later).

──────────────────── ♡❤♡ ────────────────────

THAILAND & FRIENDS.

We booked tickets with Cebu Pacific Airlines, which added to our worries because the airline is notorious for canceling flights, and we won't know what to do if that happens.

And I believe that as soon as we got to the airport, all the luck showered on us, because there were no problems after that.

There were no flight delays. We had no problems with our luggage. Everyone went through immigration without incident. Everything was fine.

I was so happy.

Two extroverts and two introverts were, in my opinion, the ideal trip companions.

There was enough humor to make it extremely enjoyable and I wasn't compelled to interact all of the time because everyone respected everyone's peace and pace.

The first two people on this list were folks with whom I had never previously interacted. They are the people I have been anxious to meet, and I'm relieved that my concerns were unfounded.

Lee would fill in the gaps whenever there was dead air, loves to joke around, and loves to take great photographs, taking his fill on adventures as it was his first time out of the country. It was fun since he was there, and I had a fantastic time laughing at his shenanigans.

Rina was also an extrovert (though she insists she isn't), and I swear every time we turned around, she had made new friends (particularly at the concert hall). We instantly discussed Blackpink and Twice because we both adore both groups. Because of her it was never a dull moment. My co-water warrior, I appreciate all of our conversations and how you always include me in them. I’m glad that I got to know you!

Finally, Hannah, the mother of the group, HAHAHAHA! She truly took care of us all, from the time we booked our concert tickets, booked our airline tickets to our Airbnb accommodations and navigated our way around Thailand. She was the only one I knew from the group; but we had only gotten out twice before going to Thailand. Without her, I doubt we would have had a pleasant experience. I really enjoyed how she bargained with the locals ("There they said it's only 10 baht" iykyk) HAHAHA! We received discounts, but she purchased bracelets that were at least 20 times more expensive. Budol is real. Thank you for your assurance that everything will be well, and you are right that I did enjoy the trip! Thank you for inviting me to join you on this trip! This is an experience I will remember for the rest of my life.

Thailand has amazing food, and I have great friends, what more could you ask for, right?

I was able to have this out-of-body and amazing experience of witnessing Twice up close because of you three! And of course, visit one of the most tourist-friendly countries, Thailand. I will surely return!

I’m glad that I trusted my instincts, and that is to trust you! So many great things happened, and I would have completely missed out on all of these things had I not gone. And I’m not so sure that these things would have happened in the same way had I not been with you three.

We went anywhere we wanted. We did anything we wanted. We ate anything we wanted.

Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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TWICE.

September seemed a lifetime away when we got our tickets, but it finally arrived, and on September 24th, Hannah, Rina, and I made our way to Impact Arena with our concert gear (aka our lightsticks and our hearts full of love for Twice).

We arrived early because we were used to huge queues and expected delays and mishaps.

But surprise, surprise! We finished everything in 15 minutes. From claiming the physical tickets, buying official merch to buying our lunch for the day!

We even had time to line up for the photo wall.

And of course, we would not miss the chance to kneel before Sana! :D

We lined up the queue, and since my number was 1111, we were praying hard that we could get a good spot. So, by the time we got to the gate, we were running like hell to our chosen section, and we managed to reach at least four rows after the barricade!

Remember the screenshot earlier? About our desired spot? We managed to get there. Yay!

At this point, I was getting fatigued but yet enthusiastic because the soundcheck was about to begin. My feet and legs were aching, but my heart was overjoyed.

A couple of folks were telling Rina about their Twice concert experiences. Others had the opportunity to see the girls from years ago, while some had the opportunity to attend the day before us. And as I listened to their stories, I became more excited about what was to follow. Along with the hope that Sana is feeling better, and that we get to interact with them even if it’s just a few seconds.

Soundcheck began about a minute or two after 3 p.m. And my heart was racing so hard! They're finally in front of me after a long time of anticipating seeing Twice!

At the same time, the entire VIP area went berserk, and they began to push their way to the front to have a closer look of the girls and to engage with them.

I tried to take a quick shot of them, but I was immediately stopped by the guards, and when I witnessed individuals being escorted out of the stadium, I became terrified and decided not to risk being tossed out. It was a mess, really. Someone even lost their footwear!

(credits to Rina for this screenshot):

As soon as I saw a glimpse of Sana’s beautiful wavy hair and pretty face, I forgot the pain in my legs! She really is beautiful!

But since I spent a scary amount of time watching her videos, I noticed that something's wrong. She’s not like her usual self, and mostly stayed at the left side of the stage (we were standing at the right side). Even her eyes are not glowing like before. We started to get worried because we know that their schedule is no joke, and she might be really tired at this point.

If you hadn't already guessed, yes, I am a Sana-biased fan.

So seeing that my bias was not in the mood is worrying, but I can see that she did her best, and still interacted with fans.

The soundcheck lasted around ten minutes and consisted of only three songs; by the time it was over, we were already closer to the stage due to the pushing. So, while it was frightening, it was also a blessing in disguise.

Maybe you’re wondering about my first impression with Twice members, I’ll get into that later.

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THE CONCERT.

The VCR changed without warning. Ignoring the discomfort in my legs, my excitement shot through the roof as I realized the moment I had been waiting for had arrived. The time has come for me to see and hear Twice live for the first time with their full costume.

“I’m about to hear the group that I have enjoyed listening to for years.” I thought to myself.

I loved the way they were unveiled to the stage, and then the screen showed them all lined up, looking all serious and ready to rock my world. The feeling of adrenaline and happiness rushed within me as they walked and line up for their Set Me Free performance.

Instantly felt myself sweating from the time they finished their first song, maybe because: 1. The spotlights were really intense, and 2. TWICE PERFORMANCE WERE SO HOT!

The screen showed a very lovely Kim Dahyun starting the routine, and my mind flashed back to the first time I saw her. She was truly wacky and one-of-a-kind, and I never imagined (though I really hoped) that I would watch them one day, let alone in another country.

I remembered the girl beside me trying to help me capture moments, since my hands were already hurting due to fatigue, and the people in front of me were really tall. I know that this will never reach her, but I just want to say thank you.

I Can’t Stop Me was next. I’m still in a daze, but I couldn’t help but sing along with Nayeon’s “Allami ullyeodae ring, ring-a-linga” and as soon as the pre-chorus started with Sana’s heavenly vocals singing, “Maeumsogeuroneun da algo itjanha, gyeolgugeneun seoneul neomge doel georaneun geol”, I lost it. As much as I hate to admit it, I really loved Sana’s moves during that part, and I spent an insane amount of time watching fancams and dance videos of ICSM because of that part.

And just like that, they finished their first two songs and started with their first ment. The crowd was screaming as soon as they introduced themselves.

I was just standing there, thinking to myself, “Woah, they are real people. I just saw them perform, and I’m not dreaming at all.”

The lights changed and Jeongyeon’s voice echoed throughout the whole arena, as she sang the first lines of “Go Hard”. And I know that it will be hot, and of course the red lights are not helping at all. They were in perfect sync, and you can’t help but think about how much time they spent perfecting the choreography.

This was followed by More and More, which showed a dreamy image of them sitting on ladders while performing choreography. They walked towards the extended stage halfway through the song, and seeing how hard they danced to it, followed by Moonlight Sunrise and Brave felt surreal.

It was as though they were completely different individuals on stage than their regular effervescent personas.

And then finally, Dahyun, Tzuyu, Sana, Momo and Mina exited the stage, while Chaeyoung, Jihyo, Jeongyeon and Nayeon stayed to talk to us a bit more as the first group of solo performers prepared for their stages.

I won’t go into detail about all of the performances, but I will tell you what I felt the first time that I saw the girls.

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FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

Im Nayeon.

I must admit that I understand where her confidence comes from when she confidently declares that she is the most beautiful, because she truly is pretty. And the way she hits those high notes, is like a blessing to our ears. Unfortunately I was unable to take as many videos and photos of her because I was distracted by my bias the whole time.

Yoo Jeongyeon.

I WAS STUNNED. She has such a little and lovely face that all you can do is stare at her. But her voice, oh God, her voice is so powerful that I couldn't help but regret not joining the fandom earlier and missing the opportunity to hear her perform One in a Million live. 

Hirai Momo.

Dance God with barbie-like features. She was always smiling and waving at our side of the stage, and I saw how cute she interacts with fans. Momo has a captivating stage presence and appears to be in her own universe while she performs. This is due to her intense focus on her performance in her aim to provide her audience with the best spectacle possible.

Park Jihyo.

She is a force to be reckoned with. Her high precision dance maneuvers electrify the audience, and she sings with the passion of a firebird. Her high notes are like pearls, each one more valuable than the last . She is unquestionably the best leader Twice can ask for.

Myoi Mina

On stage, she is a queen, her presence imposing and her aura irresistible. When she exits the stage, she returns to her modest self, kind and unassuming to the point where she was surprised that people screamed her name so much because of her sensual performance. Her facial features are delicate and ethereal that you can look at her all day long.

Kim Dahyun.

Her performance of "Try" is a work of art, a beautiful blend of power and emotion. Her smile is like a ray of sunshine, filling the room with warmth. Above all, she embodies quirkiness, with her half-moon eyes that twinkle like stars in the night sky. They crinkle at the corners as she grins, like crescent moons reflecting her warmth, kindness, and playful spirit..

Son Chaeyoung

She walks confidently onto the stage, her dimples flashing like two crescent moons, adding touch to the whimsy of her beauty. Her vocals are sometimes overlooked, yet she has a distinct and expressive voice that complements her song "My Guitar" well. She reminds me of a chameleon, always altering her style and look while being true to herself. Her raps were like fire, igniting the passion of her fans.

Chou Tzuyu

When she threw water at us, it felt like we were blessed. It is true that when you look at her beauty, you couldn’t help but stare and wonder if the one in front of you is a real person or a goddess. A celestial beauty descended from the heavens. Her beauty combined with humility and kindness is a true gift to the world. We really need more Tzuyus in the world. She may be the youngest, but her exquisite movements can make anyone melt.

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MINATOZAKI SANA.

I always get asked, “Who is your ultimate bias?”

And I always dodge the question, because how can I even choose?

But after seeing her perform for three days, I now have an answer. Minatozaki Sana.

Vocals. Visual. Dancer. Writer. Performer. Minatozaki Sana is all of these things. She is also the love of my life. There was no way I could begin or end my day without listening to her voice or raving over her beauty. As the three of us (Rina, Hannah, and I) discussed, we would rather feel down than see her sad. She is the embodiment of joy. If I could, I would formally thank her for her excellent timing, since every time I felt low and couldn't take another step, she would always post something or send a note in Bubble. I'm sure many people don't realize it, but Sana is a lifeboat for me on a rainy day at the ocean.

What was it like seeing her perform live?

It was like stepping into a fairy tale.

She was everything that I imagined and more. Her beauty is breathtaking, her talent is undeniable, and her aura is enticing. It felt like I was in the presence of royalty, and I knew it was a moment I would remember for the rest of my life.

The experience of filming "New Rules" was surreal. I was so used to watching her on the screen of my phone that when I did it, I couldn't believe I had the opportunity to film her personally.

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ENDING.

It was all over in a blink of an eye, and I wish we had more time to watch the girls perform, but I guess that’s just an excuse to book another VIP experience in the future, right? Unless I hit the jackpot and sponsor one of their albums in the future and get the chance to meet them up close and personal before then...

If you see this blog, it means that you also know how much I love Sana and Dahyun and their dynamic. And you also probably know how they saw our banner, and Dahyun ‘tried’ to piggyback Sana.

It was just one other thing that happened before the concert ended, but I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of talking about this moment. I know that my friends and family are sick of it already, but when you’ve supported an artist with your whole heart, no feeling will ever come close to the one created when you see them live and when they notice you.

No words will ever do this experience justice.

The moment that I saw Dahyun notice the banner that Hannah was holding, my heart pounded like crazy, since it was apparent that she looked around to check if Sana was near. Then, a couple of seconds later, we saw her pull Sana closer to our side, and then they did as we asked! She leaned down, and Sana tried to piggyback on her.

It was only a split second because Sana was wearing a skirt, and Dahyun, being the greenest flag of all, stopped immediately and held on to Sana’s skirt to protect her.

What's funny was due to us gaypanicking, Hannah and I were unable to get a good shot about what we experienced.

After that moment, Dahyun even did a thumbs up sign, as if asking if we were satisfied with what they did. Truly the queen of fanservice.

Everything about the experience was special. It’s moments like this that help you forget all about the things that are bothering you, the things that are weighing you down, and even if it only lasts for an hour, or even just a second, I felt happiness.

It was short and sweet but definitely a moment that I’ll remember forever and one I feel very lucky to have had.

#twice #readytobeconcert #rtbinthailandday2 #rtbinthailand #thailand #travelblog #prsnl #oct182023posted

[captain-sassy-socks]

GABIT INSP 2022 Part II - Q&A session #1

Disclaimer: I am writing this summary from my memory and the notes I have taken. I make no claim to completeness or accuracy since it's a very personal view. If anyone would like to add anything, feel free to do so in the reblogs or replies. Pictures are from different sources.

After a night of little sleep, I couldn’t wait to see Amanda on stage and ask her my very important question. The one I’ve been holding onto for 2.5 years.

First, Becky greeted us, and they showed a short tribute video of Amanda as Sam, Helen, and several other characters throughout her career.

Finally, Amanda entered, and the crowd cheered.

Somehow, she couldn’t believe that so many people still wanted to see her. She thanked everyone for being here with her, said she missed her mum terribly and feels her spirit/ghost is with us for the weekend.

She admitted to having had a crappy year, has eaten her weight through the pandemic, and wants to use this convention to kick the past year in the ass and start a new, better chapter.

Next, she apologized for not being active on social media and vowed to mend her ways.

After that, she tolds us little bit about Olivia and her remarkable ability to use logic to talk her way out of a strife. "Mom, I've always been a good kid. Please let me have this moment." How can you argue against that?

The other night, she had chatted with Teryl who sends her love. And Suanne feels like sisterhood.

She tolds us a story about how she woke up and Julia next to her didn’t make a noise (usually a loud snorer). Since Amanda feared Julia was dead, she poked her but didn’t get an immediate reaction until, a few seconds later, Julia snored again. That was a huge scare!

(this picture was displayed later during the 2nd Q&A but fits best here)

And the night before, Amanda couldn’t sleep, so she watched Gogglebox. (side note: Gogglebox is a British reality television series which documents families and groups of friends around the United Kingdom who are filmed for their observations and reactions to the previous week's television from their own homes.) She landed on an episode of Naked Attraction. She felt simultaneously attracted and repelled by what was happening: a dating show with naked people. Only strategically placed cards prevented her from getting a full view of the contestants. However, she reacted with "Argh, penis!" when the camera panned up the legs of an excited guy and the comment was “Oh, he shaved his balls.”. Now, she couldn't get certain images out of her head. It caused a lot of laughter in the room and became the running gag of the event.

Next, the Q&A part started (I can’t remember the first question) and I asked, “What is Samantha Carter’s favorite color? Please don’t say blue.” Amanda admitted she had never thought about it and went like “If you look at her house, maybe green... or orange...*walks from one side of the stage to the other*... good question... blue...*laughter from the crowd*... do what you want with it.” As an afterthought, she added, “Indigo? Indiorange?” (Thank you, Amanda. And yes, I will do whatever I want with your answer. I just have to convince my muse to settle for one option.)

Someone asked if she could only one thing for the rest of her life, what would it be - acting or directing? - Directing because she would have a longer career.

We got to talking about her dog, Riley. He’s doing well and she likes to take long walks with him.

Someone asked what her thoughts were on the AI reading. She said that the first script felt stilted and had poor grammar. But the second one was better, and she was surprised how well the AI nailed Jack’s sarcasm. She didn’t understand where the AI got the impression that Daniel would come down the stairs in Jack’s cabin and not Sam, and that, unfortunately, the AI is unable to write for Teal’c because it needs a certain amount of words, and “Indeed” isn’t enough.

Just before the end, Suanne surprised Amanda and joined her on stage.

They talked a bit about life in general and how good it was to see each other again.

On the screen, the last minute was counting down, and Amanda, who is known for overrunning, received the following message when she wouldn't stop talking.

That’s it for the first Q&A session. Since it’s already a long post, I decide to split the sessions and write a post about each of them.

#Amanda Tapping #Grand Empress of Scifi #gabit #Suanne Braun #and now I am exhausted