#i thought way to much about this didnt i

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[papanowo]

Through out your posts you indicate that you head-canon Rex as gay, but who’s he got a crush on and or how’d he figure it out?

he likes anakin. hes not happy about it either lmao

#for years rex thinks codys a loser for being so down bad for his general that when he starts falling for anakin codys like OHH OKAY. #HOWS IT FEEL ASSHOLE #my art #star wars #tcw #clone wars #captain rex #commander cody #rexwalker #but yeah i mean since i hc the entire gar sans bly is fruity in some ways or other it was p normal for cadets to get crushes on the trainers #and so like. rex thought they were attractive but just didnt rlly care about romance or anything #so i feel like he always kinda knew but in like a passive way #even after he got deployed and got assigned to anakin he didnt rlly think much of him at first #but eventually his heart started fluttering everytime anakin stepped into his personal space and started smiling around him more #cody eventually had to sit him down and be like rex. vod. you are GAY

[soriastrider]

this has almost certainly been done before, but i think it's funny so i did it anyway

original:

#dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #homestuck #my art #i drew this right on top of the meme in an effort to make this quick and easy. which was a complete failure #i spent way too long on this and still failed at anatomy lmao #oh well #anyway. dirkjake #thought about making it jake's ass in the last panel but i decided i didnt wanna try to draw ass lol #also it would've been much harder to convey the inherent dumbass boyfriend energy that was the whole point of this #if jake's smug little face wasn't visible #he is expertly restraining giggles #I also had to rotate dirk in the last panel bc the original angle was just not working no matter how many times I tried to fix it #unfortunately anatomy hates me #bg image is from hs p4221

[pineappical]

would calling this something like "the sun to his earth" be a little bit too cliche? maybe...

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanart #tedependent #trent crimm #ted x trent #I JUST GAHH!! GAAAHH!!! I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM!!!!! #pn.art #YEAH IM NOT IMMUNE TO THE SUN/MOON WHATEVER THEHELL :/ #since i probably wont be able to draw what i have in mind rn id just say it now. i have this thought about stars on the ceiling and how ted #and trent grew up with different fathers. how ted had a loving dad who he wished he told him more how much he meant to ted #and trent's father being more strict. wanting him to be something else. a stronger man. someone who played football. and how glow in the #dark stars is just a core part to many kids' childhoods and how ted probably had them and trent didnt #IDK.. IDK IM THINKING ABOUT IT... im making zero sense and this is a thought that goes nowhere but i just love the imagery of it all SNIFFS #something something ted and trent being two people who didnt want to be like their fathers but in very different ways but also so similar #enough that theyll definitely buy their own kids glow in the dark stars if they asked #IM LOSING MY MIND RN. HELLO. ANYWAYS.... #EDIT: WHY DOES TUMBLR LOVE REMOVING TH E FINAL LETTER IN SOME OF THESE TAGS

[lorephobic]

have i talked before about how crazy it drives me that in old bdubs videos he would super abashedly talk about his love for making things pretty? because. it drives me crazy.

at the beginning of mc4 when everyone was clearing out spawn so it was a lifeless flat plot of land to build on and bdubs took it personally and added grass and foliage once everything was built to make the whole landscape more lively and cohesive. and how hed get made fun of for thinking about little shit like that.

also when he got asked what hed be doing if he wasnt doing mc and he mentioned music (i think) and basically was super embarrassed to be like “i know its not very manly, but im super into artsy fartsy stuff”. as if that is a bad thing.

anyway im getting so emo thinking about how in hermitcraft, everyone knows and admires bdubs skill as a builder and its not ever something thats made fun of anymore. thinking about how bdubs never talks down about his own abilities anymore and instead of feeling weird about being a dude whose into artsy fartsy stuff, hes really embraced his career as a creator of beautiful things.

#sorry this post is literally so self indulgent #last rb got to me okay #remembering when i first got into bdubs and id see him in other ppls content and was like ‘oh hes silly haha’ #but i didnt actually start watching him until i saw his hc8 base and thought it was one of the coolest things id ever fucking seen in mc #i started watching his videos and the way he talked about block palettes and gradients #and the way hed try things i’d never think could work really blew me away #and hes always been like this #i remember even in hc4 with his modern house #the way he used snow to create a slope was like. mind blowing to me. #ten years after he first did it LOL #hes taught me so much about minecraft as an art medium its fucking crazy #anyway #its been a while since ive gushed about bdubs this feels really good actually #i love him :( #edit: i wasnt gonna say anything when this was a dumb little personal post but ppl are actually rbing it #so i will correct myself #in my tags when i said hc4 i meant mc4 #lol

[dayurno]

bringing this back by the way

#for KEVIN ADN RENEE. BY TEH WAY. #jean: yeah ive gotten over my ex. dont worry about the 2 in my jersey thats unrelated #also for renee .. :') oh he loves her he loves her he loves her! #THINKING SO DESPERATELY HARD #kevjean #jean moreau #kevin day #this changes everything for me ive heard of it before but i thought it was FANON #I DIDNT REALIZE IT WAS TRUE? #fui dormir muda acordei calada #like this is beyond me. I CANT STRESS HOW MUCH I THOUGHT THIS WAS FANON

[dragzo]

oh Red Son no-

#i like to headcanon that for years after dbk’s imprisonment #red son didn’t do anything but work on his engineering skills #or just wallowed within his home #pif didnt give a rats butt about what he was doing because she was already miserable dealing with other people #so red son didnt go out much to socialise or learn from the world #meaning there was a lot of things he didnt know about life and himself until after his father was freed #red son has never had any experiece with having feelings #romantic or platonic or anything. he only recognises familial love thats pretty much it #not because he doesnt feel them (duh) but because hes had no one to feel that way about #so becoming friends with goldendragon was pretty hard for him. but he still pulled through #but recognising his feelings for mk being more than that? that was the hardest yet (for everybody) #of course mei figured it out first. and eventually mk did too. but even red son had no clue until they both had to intervene #so red son realising he is no longer as straight as he once thought because of mk is a very real possibility LMAO #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk fanart #mk lmk #lmk qi xiaotian #qi xiaotian #lmk red son #lmk spicynoodles #spicynoodleshipping #monkie kid spicynoodles

[floorpancakes]

ok but im rly into the idea of till having a new era that brings the light back to his eyes and drives him forward if he gets to escape the arena. idk where he'd go from there but i want to see ivans sacrifice both haunt him and drive him to actually live his damn life after being the captured bird refusing freedom cause of mizi. once he knows she's alive with the resistance he might be able to actually experience other things and widen his world and if that happens and he puts his personal sense of rebellion towards the human cause OR settles into finding some other way to feel fulfilment that isn't a single person that could be deeply fascinating to me i think

#alien stage #ramble #idk #till alien stage #as an xxxholic fan i want to see caged birds fly and all the fear and loss and grit and progress that comes with it #till era would be so fucking fun #especially when characters r built arnd one person or one goal or something you want to see them find new things to suffer or thrive abt (?) #random inconsequential thought imagine till hooking up with hyunas besties and they become a resistance throuple #idk i just want till to experience the wider world as the one that was the most restrained by his heart AND literally #cause even compared to the other anakt kids he suffered so much in those damn buildings and labs #i wanna see him freed and what that means for ivans legacy as the person who was unseen but someone who both contributed to and desperately #tried to stop his pain and confinement no matter what #honestly the thing i wanna see most rn off the top of my head is #till coming to terms with what he knows and sees about ivan now #no matter how he feels about it i think ivan wont be forgotten that easily #i want to know whats going thru tills head rn immediately in this moment #cause this snapped him in some way and he is acutely aware of things he didnt even notice before #while handling the mizi desth thing #that he assumed was happening #if he is assumedly saved i want to see the explosion that is knowung mizi is alive #knowing ivan is dead and how ivan felt #and knowing he has a way out of the cage #because its a triple whammy #i want to see his brain exploding in real time thinking abt all these things #and what sort of person the revelations will make him become #also i want to see mizi and till have like an actual conversation cause itd be a wildcard especially right now

[skitskatdacat63]

It's just still brainrotting me so badly, LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?!?!

#its so funny bcs i originally just looked up this parc ferme bcs the pics of them hugging #and then was hit with this #and was having a mental breakdown to c in the dms #BECAUSE SERIOUSLYYYY #ik that gif is super slowed dwon but like honestly in the full speed clip he really keeps his hands there for a while #AND ITS JUST SOOOOOOK #and the way he curls his hand back from resting on seb's lower back like ah maybe this is too much #BUT STILL KEEPS HIS HAND ON SEB'S HIP OKAY! #and like how seb is bending down further after to put his wheel away #but then it makes it so hes even closer to fernando 🫠😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🫠🫠🫠 #maybe i will draw/write car sex about this i dont know #its just so potent to me 😭😭😭 #the fsct that theres no pics of this either #all the photographers are like yeah nah i cant be posting this #BUT COULD YOU IMAGINE IF THERE WERE!? #and also he kinda pats him on the hip a bit i didnt notice 😵‍💫😵‍💫 #HE WANTS HIS HUGGGGGGGG OKAYYYYYYYYY #he wants to mount him- huh what who said that #anyways: so many thoughts #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #there was some other post i meant to finish tonight but didnt so this will be my pre-quali random post LOL #we do a little bit of f1

[oceanwithouthermoon]

sometimes i think about how the people who hate on my takes on here would talk to each other and its always phrased like the twitter fandom drama i see but completely irrational and it makes me giggle

"calling kusuke abusive just because he shot his brother with a lethal weapon, plotted his murder, planned to use their grandparents to assist in hurting/killing him, and tried for years to expose his secret to the entire world against his will and through knowingly hurtful means in order to destroy everything he cared about is so stupid! what a stretch!"

"the saiki k fandom is so damn sensitive. i shoot my brother with massive guns all the time and its not abusive because he just blocks it!" HELPEKSJJSJSKSKKS

#sorry i have absolutely no beef with anyone this is just funny #its just an opinion and i have nothing against people with a different opinion than me #its just funny how they think IM irrational when this is legitimately their thought process #and they come directly onto MY page and cry about people having diff opinions #like girl u do NOT see me doing that shit thats so embarrassing stop #im not even a kusuke hater like thats my man #but even if i was- i dont get why that bothers people so much like y r u so scared of different opinions #i sometimes talk about teru or saiki haters i dont like but that isnt defined by 'literally anyone who doesnt like them' #idgaf if people hate my fav characters- i just hate the WAY certain people hate them that shows they didnt understand the show #YOUR definition of 'evil kusuke haters who must be purged from this fandom' is literally anyone who has an opinion on him- #-that isnt sunshine and rainbows and kusuke is the most morally right and sympathetic character and nobody else deserves him !1!1! ur crazy #oh this isn't targeted at any specific person btw im just being dramatic #i havent acknowledged this at all in months idk what compelled me to do so now #the single anon that barely even said anything just made me think back to this #nobody gets him like i do i swear i swear #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuke #meows post

[starry-bi-sky]

i made a rough timeline for the clone^2 au, just for my own convenience sake when dating things. some things might be out of order from the episode date, and thats also for my convenience.

September 3rd: Danny, age 14, has the accident in the lab that turns him liminal

September 10th: Danny is discharged from the hospital and given two weeks leave from school

September 24th: his sick leave ends, and Danny returns to school

October 14th: Danny sneaks into his parents' basement and releases the ghosts they have trapped in cages. Official birth of the vigilante, Phantom

November 27th: Danny fights Pariah Dark, and wins

December 24th: the Ghost Writer torments Danny

February 12th: Danny's 15th birthday

March 3rd: its been six months since Danny's accident

March 7th: Danny fights his evil future self

May 8th: Danny meets Ellie [age 15] and they become twins

December 14th: Danny finds out from his parents that he's a clone

February 12th: Danny's 16th birthday

Early-Mid April: Danny meets Damian [age 6] :)

Mid-Late April: Damian runs off for the first time, damages Danny's hands the first time

May: Damian runs off two more times in the span of three weeks, he damages Danny's hands both times.

Early June: Damian runs off one more time, damages Danny's hands again, resulting in permanent nerve damage.

Mid-Late June: Damian finally gives up on the League coming to get him and joins the Fenton Family.

July: Damian finally coaxes Danny into letting him come along with him on patrol: Wraith is born.

#danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc #dpxdc crossover #clone^2 #danny fenton is a clone #this only focuses on the earlier parts of the au because those are most important imo. figuring out when danny's accident was. when he #became phantom. when he met damian. etc. is all pretty important stuff and helps me figure out ages beyond '10 year gap' #not super important stuff to much anyone else i think but its nice to have it written down as reference #i usually put danny's accident as happening at the beginning of the school year. tis convenient that way #me: hmmm when do i make danny find out he's a clone. beginning of the school year makes the most sense right??? #me:....or.... i could ruin his christmas again :) #thought about increasing the amount of times damian runs off but... thats a LOT of time he's run off and i didnt want to go overboard #same thing with danny's hands. thought about hurting him more frequently but honestly taking a blade to the hand is already damaging enough #on its own. catch a blade with his hands four times would be enough to cause permanent nerve damage and also he would have learned his #lesson if it happened more frequently. #so damian runs off 4 times in the span of essentially 2 months #and four times danny catches his blade. three times he got cut. one time he needed stitches #anyways thats the timeline for now. made totally for convenience sake and no other reason #totally dont look at my google docs there’s nothing there but half forgotten wips and cfau master doc

[cirrus-grey]

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck the goddamn music-

I don't know the name for the technique but there's this thing that was in there that's the string players, like, tapping the instrument with the bow to create a more percussive sound and normally I wouldn't think too much of it but I swear to god it sounded like creeping spider legs. During the case set at Hill Top Road. With the very obvious references to the Buried and the Stranger and all the rest. Which dropped about a hundred Achives references including Jon's fucking name???

I have always respected the soundscaping they do at Rusty Quill but they're really going above and beyond for this show.

#i dont know if ill have any more coherent thoughts for this episode thb #my mind is just circling on 'celia knows celia KNOW tapes and manila folders??? doing her own research??? anything SPECIAL about #the ones that get read aloud????? #celia tma didnt know that much how does celia tmagp know did she talk to georgie and melanie after it all does she have news about them- #jon jon jon jon jon #lena worked for starkwell didnt she #jon- #did colin just fucking punch sam????? #j- #oh gwen you are in way over your head #dark coat does this worlds gerry work for starkwell too #celia KNOWS #JON #i hope people dont get too annoying about 'its really him' yall know it could just be an ai #SAM TALK TO CELIA ABOUT THE EMAIL FROM JON #i can send email - no shit really??' #...yeah. my brain's a mess right now #this is what i get for listening at 1am #the magnus protocol #7 give and take #tmagp spoilers #tmagp audio #my magnus protocol stuff #original post #queue cause i'll be at work when the episode airs

[pineappical]

in light of tedtrent becoming so real, im also jumping on the tedtrent epilogue 😊

there's just no way ted wouldn't keep in touch with the others (and have weekly zoom meetings just like in the christmas special) and I just love the thought of the whole team having reunions once in a while.

and going back to trent's arc in s3, the sunflowers conversation, "And your daughter?" "She's never been happier." I think it could go the same for ted.. we've never really properly saw how henry felt about his dad being in london, it's always other people that told ted his son misses him, who's to say henry would rather see his dad happy because that in turn would make him happy too? he was there to win the whole thing, right? I just know ted’s story isn’t done yet when he still hasn’t learned to let others take care of him in return and who else to pair him with than the man who blew up his career because a man was nice to him (and also because they were so. so cruel for the fakeout tedbecca scenes for that finale) 🥺

I'm no writer so just pretend these are snapshots of a slow burn fic where ted visits london for their team reunion and slowly realizes that trent has a crush on him and they kiss about it 💛

#ted lasso #trent crimm #tedependent #ted lasso fanart #tedtrent #ted x trent #I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BTW its just that its 4am rn and i cannot type down my thoughts for the life of me </3 #im just so not over that ending and how weird it felt for ted to end his story like that.. not like he can turn back to michelle since #dr. jacob is right there.. i want this man to feel loved and cared for and actually have a place he knows he can call home and that was #richmond for me.. to the family we were born with. and to the family we make along the way etc etc etc #ted lasso spoilers #<- FORGOT ABOUT THAT. #i can finally say i loved the ending for all the callbacks and stuff but I NEED THIS MAN TO BE HELDDDD!!!!! *everything explodes around me* #he even went back there WITHOUT BEARD :( his bestfriend for sooo long who was there for all their ups and downs. i dont like beard and jane #being together but the fact ted didnt even go to their wedding too like ...??! what is going onnnn #also graying lasso is just something so indulgent for me . hush #pn.art #JUST YKNOW!!! I HOPE YALL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING ITS REALLY REALLY LATE I PROBABLY SHOULDVE WAITED TILL LATER TO POST THIS BUT JAHJVAKDG #my memory is really bad too so i could also be misremembering scenes and im too eepy to check the scenes i had in mind so u_u #ALSO apologies that its taking me sooo long to draw things i recently joined a mc server and ive been playing it all day and night HFSJGFSH #im sooo scared of making these type of posts because i dont have the balls to make the wrong choices in other people's eyes but GRAAH!!!!! #<- i love tedtrent bUT WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK IM CRINGGGEEEE!!!!! #THATS ALL.... i have more drawings in mind that ill get around to later.. for now goodnight <3

[cowboysmp3]

going back and watching ofmd s1 now after most of s2 has aired provides SUCH context to why Izzy acted the way he did. S2 puts SO much more weight on Blackbeard's 'i havent tried dying i should try that next' statements that he makes in S1E04, and it gives a reality of how horrible Blackbeard can be. I think Blackbeards erratic behaviour and mild suicidal ideation can be dismissed when watching s1 for the first time, which makes Izzy's reaction feel disproportionate, but I think the reality is Izzy has been watching Blackbeard steadily decline and make decisions that actively go against the survival of himself and the crew. Stede and the revenge are part of an emerging pattern for him!!

s2 just really makes it so much easier to empathise with Izzy and the decisions he makes have more weight and sense behind him. His actions aren't really out of feeling antagonistic or jealous or w/e, he has been watching Blackbeard spiral out of control, and Izzy's own life spiraling with him! AOUGH it just makes Izzy less of a mindless antagonist and much more of a character who is desperate for some semblance of control and normalcy again !!!

#i actually have a LOT ot say about Izzy now #s2 has won me over #ive got so many thoughts about him and the cycle of violence with blackbeard and how stedes refusal to be pushed to continue the cycle - #- has an impact on izzy and his worldview #such as the saving izzy + crew in S02E03 even after he knew they killed blackbeard #and how izzy expected killing blackbeard as being the push stede needed to be violent/reject them #something something obedient dog in the cycle of violence #theres also SO MUCH about sexuality and gender with izzy #esp in s1 with his rejection of effeminite and openness and casualness of relationships #and later the acknowledgement in s2 of izzy and blackbeard being in a relationship of a sorts #something about him being shown there was always a different way #and that maybe blackbeard was just abusive this whole time #and that he didnt have to endure it #sorry many many many many thoughtd #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #izzy hands #izzy hands analysis

[nyxie-e-e]

GAVIN QUOTES THAT I HAVE ROTTING IN MY NOTES APP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

S/N: He (along with Milo and Guy ofcc<33) is the reason why I know what healthy love looks like

- [ ] “How should I fuck you tonight?”

- [🥺 ] “What I want right now is for you to be happy”

- [ ] “You can do anything you want to me, Deviant”

- [😍 ] “Call it arrogance but i know my appeal just as i am”

- [ ] “I don’t want easy. I want to be a person. My own person”

- [🥺] “Being alive and living are two different things”

- [ ] “I might not check the box for every single person out there but I don’t want to”

- [ ] “You get to decide which parts of yourself you get to share with other people”

- [ ] “I don’t take that trust lightly and it is reciprocated”

- [ ] Thank you for trusting me… and for letting me know that I’m fucking another guy’s charge”

- [🥺😭♥️] “You can set the world down now. That doesn’t make you a failure that doesnt make you weak there isn’t a finish line you didn’t get to, there is just your life stretched out ahead of you. There are people in your life who care about you”

- [🥺😭♥️ ] “We’re here for you. I’m here for you” *hugs* it’s gonna be okay you’re okay. You don’t have to be everything for everyone. You matter to and it is not selfish to admit that”

- [ ] “This is not you breaking this is you taking control. This is you redefining your circumstances instead of letting them control you”

- [ ] “It’s time to start living”

- [ ] “I know I’m awful but would you want me if I was anything else”

- [🥺 ] “You’re not alone. You don’t have to do this alone anymore”

- [😭 ] “You honor me by letting me see this side of you”

- [😭😭 ] “Because i don’t want the words the impact you’ve had on my life to go unheard”

- [☺️] “You know all of these things but i like saying them”

- [*crying cat meme*] “Cherished words that carry my love to you and hold you in blissful rest”

- [🥺] I want you to have peace, so my words bring you peace. It’s that simple and it’s nice for something to be simple for a change

- [🥺 ] But you held on. You made space. You asked me to step into that space.. no one ever asks me for that

- [🥺♥️ ] “You are loved and loving and what you do matters so very much”

My love🥺

#I honestly never thought I would simp so hard for him LMAO #when I first listened to him I was like 😐 #but now I’m like 🥺😩😭🥰😍♥️ #y’know? #I relate to freelancer a lot and there’s just something about Gavin’s words and the way he carries himself that just does it for me #OMG I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT ADD THE SPACE BETWEEN MY STARS QUOTE AAAAA THAT ONE TOOO^^ #ALSO ALSO WATCHING WELL IG LISTENING TO HIM BE HIMSELF FULLY WITH THE DAMN CREW IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL LIKE AAA HE IS SO PLAYFUL & FLIRTY #I love his confidence so much #I also love how gentle he can be though 🥺 #THE WAY HE CONFESSES HIS LOVE 10000000 TIMES IS JUST AAAA I LOVE ITTTT #OKOK THIS IS GETTING LONG #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted damn crew #redacted freelancer #redacted gavin

[sampilled]

doing a lot of thinking about how scared sam was as a child

in the pilot we learn sam left hunting, not because he wanted normal but because he wanted safe.

in a draft of the pilot script, sam says he doesn't want to help dean find john because he "just stopped having nightmares" (obviously taken out because it would contradict later plot lines with sam having nightmares about jess dying but i wish they had replaced it with something similar because i think a lot less people would think of sam as selfish if we had got to hear it)

we also get this scene in 1x04

this is four episodes into the show! sam has been back in hunting for a month? maybe? and he is already having nightmares about the job again (and while dean tries to act tough, sam sees straight through him and knows that he's scared too)

hunting again is bringing back bad feelings that he thought he'd left behind but at this point, he is motivated to find his father and avenge jessica so he pushes through his fear, as a kid he didn't have these things to fuel him. he was just this sad lonely little child who was terrified out of his mind about all of the evil in the world that he should have been sheltered from!! terrified that his dad and his brother were going to be killed anytime they were out of his line of sight!!

in conclusion, i could've raised him, i could've kept him safe

#no cuz rip to john winchester but??? wtf was that? #if i was sam winchesters parent and a demon had a killed his mother in his nursery i wouldve looked into protective sigils and probably kep #an eye on his friends to make sure they werent... ya know... possessed???? #i get its just a weird writing thing it had to be this way for the plot but fr johnny boy u r an idiot #especially cuz i always thought he learned the demon was after sam from Missouri #“i went to misouri and learned the truth” and she clearly knew the demon was looking for sam in season 1 so #so like john has known since sam was a baby in my eyes and yet?? #he was letting him out of his sight? wow he really didnt give a fuck about him lowkey #no he loved him very much he was jsut dumb #sam winchester #supernatural