#i took these photos at the start of my journey and it was deeper when i got back but not deep enough :(

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend (Astarion x GN! Reader)

  This man has a chokehold on me and I have been plagued by this idea for about a week.

Title inspired by the song "i wanna be your girlfriend" by girl in red

CW: Mentions of violence and gore (not descriptive), bit of angst, comfort

(Not my photo. I believe it belongs to Daily Gaming)

Synopsis- You and Astarion are in the middle of a war to prove who can set the best traps. However, a lack of rules seems to have gotten you into a predicament neither one of you had anticipated.

Sometimes you take it a smidge too far. 

 You would love to tell people you are some cunning, daring rogue, but the reality is that you are consistently flying by the seat of your pants. Occasionally it works really well- this was not one of those times.

    You never felt the need to prove anything to anyone.

Well, until you met Astarion. Within the first three days of traveling with him, your confidence and patience began to wear thin. He would make snide comments when watching you attempt to unlock a chest or when you scare off your prey by tripping over a bush. Then he would smirk at you- with that stupid, beautiful smirk.

He enjoys adding salt to the wound by taking on the task you failed at; usually lock picking, sneak attacks, and Gods only knows what else he could make fun of you for. You are very aware that you are not some fancy rogue and it never bothered you until now. You had accepted long ago that you are just a street urchin moving up in the world after teaching yourself the trade.

  The final straw had been when you had placed traps to catch dinner. Your traps had been successful (naturally- traps were your thing) and you brought back three bunnies for Gale’s stew.

Oh, but of course Astarion had something to say. He always has something to say.

  “Oh look at that- how cute. I’m sure sheerluck was on your side,” he quips, “You’ll get better eventually.”

 Thus began the war of all wars.

It started with small traps- nuisances really. Tripwire, a laughing or sleep rune well hidden, and traps that release horrible smells. Then it quickly took a turn for the worst; what were once harmless pranks turned into trip wires that release a swarm of bees, simple pits began to get deeper, and blasting traps that would send either one of you flying into a nearby object. It was never truly life threatening, just questionable.

  Well, except for the bees. The bees were not the greatest thought in hindsight; considering both you and Astarion had to help each other with the bee stings- Shadowheart refusing to be involved. You both laughed and he even complimented you on your cleverness. You swore you could have exploded in that moment.

   You have a massive, childish crush on the man and maybe the competition was your subconscious way of getting closer to him. However, your other companions were getting sick of it pretty quickly. 

  They had all hoped after the Tiefling party that the two of you would put your silly competition to rest so that you could all travel together in peace and they would just have to deal with PDA.

What a silly thing for them to think. PDA hasn't happened, but the pranks did become less risky and less frequent.  You were okay with this change.

   You feel like you and Astarion have become close friends. Even though your tryst didn’t lead to a romantic relationship as you had hoped, you were happy to have Astarion in your life in any capacity. If that was just as a friend- then so be it. 

  Which brings us back to the beginning- when you realize that your ‘trap war’ had paper thin rules and the lack of rules just might be the thing that actually kills you on this journey.

  All you wanted to do was clean yourself off. It had been one last relaxing day before you set off to the Creche, but you had thought you might treat yourself. Baths were rare and far between these days and you want to enjoy it while you have it. However, you were not planning for a simple snare trap to foil your entire evening. 

  You get hoisted up into the air, slammed against the tree, and drop all of your belongings- including the knife you brought ‘just incase’. You glared at the knife and put your hand to your blood fountain of a nose.

 “Traitor,” you whisper with a pout as you look for a way to escape the trap.

  Suddenly, you freeze as instincts kick in. You hear the Gnolls before you see them. Your bloody nose from the impact of the tree had led them to you. They attempt to claw at you- trying to rip you down from the tree. You feel their claws tear into your back, the side of your arms, and one of them even manages to take a swipe at your abdomen as you scramble to escape. The cuts weren't life threatening, but they hurt. A LOT.

  You manage to use the rope to pull yourself up onto one of the tree limbs; allowing you to hide some of your body from the Gnolls, but you now have an arrow protruding out of your right thigh so obviously that isn’t working well either.

  You bite back tears, frozen in fear. You really did not want to die this way and you certainly didn’t want it to be because of Astarion’s trap. You have a feeling he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you died because of him. 

  You can imagine the blame and anger the rest of your companions would direct at him if the worst happened. You imagine the bloodshed- knowing full well that everyone (minus Karlach) would not forgive him for accidentally killing you. Lae’zel would be the first one to put a stake in his chest- her fondness for you is no secret. 

   Your heart thumps painfully at that thought and your resolve hardens. You will not die because you will not let that happen to Astarion. 

 You look around, your arms and legs shaking still with the residual shock and fear. You look for any sharp branches, a forgotten knife lodged somewhere, or even something you could cast a cantrip on to distract them. You have no such luck. 

 You resign yourself to your fate- the tears making a reappearance. 

 Unless one of your companions finds you first- you are going to either have to wait for the Gnolls to get bored and leave or they are going to kill you.

You pray to every God you can think of that you will survive the night.

_________________________________________________

 Astarion is trying to not look so desperate as he reads the first page for the hundredth time. 

  You had walked off a little over two hours ago- Lae’zel is on watch while the rest of your companions sleep soundly in their bed rolls. 

 The longer your bedroll remains empty, the more the pit grows in his stomach.

He didn’t know how to navigate your relationship after the tiefling party.

His feelings for you are confusing. The sex had felt different, he enjoys your company immensely, and he likes how warm he feels around you.

Instead of talking to you like a normal person or taking a moment to reflect, he decided to find some common ground- something you could laugh and talk about later. Normalcy.

He set up a snare trap close to the river you were all using to clean off and then a laughter rune trap somewhere on the path to the Creche. Hypothetically, they are very safe traps.

Unless he rigged them wrong? What if you ran into one of them and….

  No, I am sure they are just fine.

 He doesn’t even believe his own lie.

After about another five minutes, the anxiety rolling in his stomach becomes unbearable so he grabs his daggers and sets off in the direction you had gone two hours earlier.

  He walks quickly through the forest, checking his surroundings and looking for evidence that you were close by. As the minutes pass, he feels the hope of finding you safe shrink.

The wind hits his nose and he becomes stock-still.

He smells your blood- an alarming amount of it-in the air as he gets closer to the river. He fears the worst as he goes to look at the trap- hoping you will forgive him- that you are alive. Safe.

 He peers through the bushes and his eyes grow wide as the scene before him unfolds. 

  You are stuck up in the tree- his trap is still around your ankle. You are holding onto the branch like your life depends on it. It probably does since there are five Gnolls circling the tree like vultures.

  He can hear your soft broken sobs as arrows fly over you or hit the tree. He notices the arrow in your leg and watches as a second one lodges itself into your calf. You wince and close your eyes tightly- unknown to you that Astarion’s vision is clouded in red and his whole body fills with destructive, hot rage. He also feels fear, but he pushes it away, not ready to explore the why. 

  He lunges forward, slashing at the Gnolls with so much force that they are practically in half by the time they hit the forest floor. He is a man possessed as he carves his way through all five gnolls and then he climbs up the tree to you. 

His chest aches as he looks at you. He will never be able to forgive himself for causing you so much suffering.

  “Darling,” he says softly.

    You whimper in response and when you look at him- he feels all the air leave his lunges. If he needed air, he would have passed out right then. Your eyes were glassy with traces of fear, sadness, and loneliness- all emotions he is all too familiar with. Then you see it’s him and the biggest smile crosses your lips and you look at him with so much affection he almost feels ill. This was not the plan and he almost made you a midnight snack for a group of Gnolls.

  “You found me,” you say in a raspy, raw voice, “I thought I was going to be stuck here all night until Karlach or Gale found me. Or I was going to die.”

 You chuckle, but Astarion can’t get himself to share your same enthusiasm about his rescue mission as he cuts the rope. 

  He helps you down the tree and safely back on the ground. Astarion winces as you pull the arrows out of your leg. You find a healing potion amongst your things and chug it.

He collects your stuff for you. You give him another one of those brilliant smiles and Astarion tries to smile just as brightly back. You furrow your brows, but he turns away before you can keep analyzing him. 

  “We should head back,” Astarion mumbles.

______________________________________________

  The silence hangs in the air as Astarion walks with you back to camp. After about 15 minutes, you are back at camp and the tension in the air is suffocating.

 “Astarion.”

  Astarion freezes, turns on his heels, and looks everywhere but your eyes. He couldn’t bare to see you smile at him again- look at him like that again- not after he almost killed you.

  You maneuver yourself so you are looking in his eyes.

 “It’s not your fault,” he begins to protest when you shush him, “we didn’t set any rules and the trap itself was harmless. We didn't account for Gnolls when we started this whole thing.”

  “I almost got you killed.”

 “But you didn’t. It easily could have been you in that situation and me saving you.”

  “Will you please stop being so Gods damn forgiving,” he huffs with exasperation as he feels tears prick his eyes, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I put your life in danger. I almost-”

 Lost you. He chokes on the words. The fear from earlier begins to come back to the front of his mind. Watching you cling to that tree, crying, and in pain had made him realize that you just might be more important to him than he cares to admit. However, that’s a conversation for another time- once he sorts out what that feeling in his chest is whenever he looks at you.

  You look at him sharply, your eyes raw with sadness, “Stop that right now. I am okay. I lived. It was a mistake and I know your intentions were not bad. You don’t have anything to worry about Star.” 

He doesn’t say anything and you hang your head.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I- I should go-“ Astarion pauses as you interrupt him.

“Please don’t leave,” you whisper, “I rather enjoy your company.”

  You look at him with tears welling in your eyes. He stares at you in stunned silence, searching your face for any sign of deception, but he doesn't find it. His body moves before his brain can process what he is doing. 

 Astarion gently cradles your face in his hands and kisses you slowly, softly. He smiles despite himself when a gasp leaves your lips. You're alive and safe. When the warmth in his chest begins to spread throughout the rest of his body, he pulls away and steps back. Your face is flushed, a beautiful blush spreading across your cheeks. You look at him with wide, unblinking eyes before you shyly smile. Astarion could have melted in that moment. He finds himself smiling too.

 “Well I’m assuming that means you are going to stay?” 

  “I suppose I’ll stay,” he says while tapping his chin, “you do need someone to make sure you aren’t getting into trouble like that again.”

 You feign hurt and scoff, “Are you suggesting that this was my fault?”

 “Maybe if you were better with traps that wouldn’t have happened,” Astarion teases.

  You narrow your eyes at Astarion and you try to hold back a smile. You roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him.

You start towards camp before you pause and turn around. Astarion gives you a confused look.

You run over to him and place a kiss on his cheek. He tenses for a moment before relaxing again. You look at him sweetly, a soft smile on your lips.

 “Good night Astarion.”

  As you saunter towards your respective tents, Astarion takes one last glance at your tent- at you- before he lays down with his book. Except he still can’t get past the first page- he is too anxious for the sun to come up so that he can see your smile again.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 spoilers #astarion x you #astarion romance #astarion x tav #bg3 #astarion x gn!tav #bg3 companions

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias - Lost in Sardinia Part 3/8

Summary - Ruben is on a getaway in Sardinia. There he meets a girl named Fiorella. She starts to wonder why Ruben won't tell her what exactly he is getting away from, or even what his real name is.

Enjoy!

Fiorella had always lived in Sardinia, surrounded by the breathtaking beauty of the island she called home. The crystal-clear waters, lush greenery, and majestic landscapes were a part of her everyday life. It had never occurred to her to go on hike and discover it all.

"You good to go?"

Fiorella told Ruben to meet here at dawn, at the base of the mountain trail. He arrived dressed for the occasion, wearing a loosely fitted t-shirt, a pair of shorts and proper running shoes. Fiorella on the other hand, woke up and did what she always did, dressed according to weather. She wore a hat for the sun and sandals to go with her ripped jeans and white tank top.

"You should know," Fiorella confessed, "I've never been on a hike before. The last time I was at the waterfalls my family and I went by car."

"Are you having second thoughts?" There was a fraction of concern in Ruben's voice.

Fiorella shook her head. "You wish."

He smiled warmly.  "Good, let's not waste anymore daylight then."

With excitement and a hint of nervousness, Fiorella and Ruben began their trek into the untouched wilderness of Sardinia. The air was alive with the scent of wildflowers and the chorus of birdsong, as the two explorers carefully navigated the uneven terrain.

As they journeyed deeper, Fiorella marveled at Ruben's endurance and genuine appreciation for nature. His captivating stories of travels around the world fascinated her, desperately fueling her attraction to this curious stranger.

"What's the reason for your travels?" Fiorella asked, trying to mask the fact that she was out of breath from walking.

"Mostly to clear my mind."

Ruben walked with rapid steps, a pace Fiorella praised herself for keeping up with. On the other hand, Ruben didn't walk with hunched back like she did. His braud shoulders were brought back with his perfect posture and as a pool's of sweat damped the back of his shirt, Fiorella couldn't help but to let her imagination run free.

"Clear your mind of what?" She asked. "What is it full of?"

"I just have some decisions to make back home."

"Decisions about what?"

Ruben glanced over his shoulder, meeting her eye. "You know, there is usually not this much talking during a hike."

"Then I guess were not on hike then. I guess we just love walking to the throbbing sensation of our feet and the painful pounding of our hearts. May I ad that mine is working overtime right now."

Ruben chuckled.

Fiorella took pride in the fact that she made him crack a smile. It felt like they were experiencing the hike very differently. Ruben went on with a twisted expression on his face, like his life depended on reaching the top of the mountain. Fiorella took several pauses during the hike, mostly to snap photos of strange looking rocks and the poop of unknown animals. At times she wished that she had brought Pluto with them. He would have appreciated the journey, at least more than Ruben did.

"My job." He said, regaining Fiorella's attention. "I have decisions to make about my job."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm an athlete."

"Like, professional?"

"Yes, it's my main income." Ruben picked up the pace.

"Is this the sport, hiking?" Fiorella was struggling to keep up, almost jogging beside Ruben, who didn't seem to care that she had short legs. She almost tripped herself when he altered his steps very abruptly. 

"Is that it?" He asked, head raised to the sky. He was looking at the top of the mountain. It's where the waterfall would be.

Fiorella nodded. "It's about a 20 minute walk."

And leave her behind? Was he crazy?

Ruben turned to her, his expression unreadable. "Do you mind if run the last part?"

"Um...sure. I'll meet you there."

"Alright, see you at the top."

Fiorella watched Ruben pick up the pace and sprint away from her. Had she said something to upset him?

After what felt like hours of hiking, she finally reached their destination - the magnificent waterfall. Its cascading waters sparkled in the sunlight, creating a mesmerizing spectacle against the backdrop of majestic cliffs and vibrant foliage.

"You made it!"

A voice called her from a distance. It was Ruben, already splashing away in the fresh-water pool.

Memroies of her childhood came flooding back. Without hesitation, Fiorella stripped off her shoes, feeling the rush of excitement building within her. She waded into the icy-cold water, feeling its rejuvenating touch on her sore skin. Laughter echoed through the valley as she and Ruben playfully splashed and embraced the exhilarating experience, forgetting about their troubles beyond their realm.

Vading back to land, they lay down on a large rock, drying themselves in the blissful sun. When it was time to go back Fiorella simply dreaded the thought of hiking back down the mountain, leaving the peaceful waterfall behind her.

"Ugh " Fiorella groaned, sitting down, support herself on a rock.

"You okay?"

"My feet."

"Do they hurt?"

"Yes. I don't think I can make it down the mountain by myself."

Ruben crouched down in front of her, inspecting her blisters.

"I picked the wrong shoes didn't I?"

Ruben didn't answer, he was to busy caring for her wounds.

"I should probably call my dad...or my uncle. They know this trail, they can come and pick me up."

"Or you can get on my back."

"Huh?"

Ruben lifted his gaze, looking deep into her eyes. "You can get on my back. I'll carry you down the mountain."

#fanfiction #football imagine #man city #manchester city #ruben dias #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #football angst

[wychwoodroad]

Come Refresh my Altar with me!

Today is March 1st, and on the first of every month, I take the time to refresh my altar space. This is a great way for me to keep my physical space clean while also keeping my spiritual space clean. It's been something I've done for nearly two years now, and it's such an integral part of my practice.

Before we begin, let's take a look at the state of my altar now:

While not cluttered, my space is certainly been well-used and not as tidy as it was at the start of February.

The first thing to do is to take everything off: I do this in steps. The top section of my altar being one space I tackle, then each lower surface being their own separate spaces I work on. Keeping things in sections helps me not be so overwhelmed when doing this.

Once everything is off, I wipe the surface down to rid any dust (making sure to wipe off my many items for dust, too), and anoint the space with olive oil. I do only anoint the bottom space will oil; a preference for the Hellenic entities I work with versus the Norse and Kemetic ones I work with on the top part. Then, once cleaned and oiled, I put everything back.

I don't always put things back in the same way I took them off. I like rearranging things slightly - and sometimes I just can't remember how they were before. This is another way I keep things fresh. It also helps create more intention in what to focus on for the month ahead. In this case, my focus for this month centres around 'resetting', which is something I feel in need of.

Let's see how things came together after putting everything back:

As you can see, some stuff stayed the same while other things have been moved and arranged a little differently. Sometimes putting things back on the space feels like a puzzle I need to solve: what pieces go where, how do they fit together? It's a fun little game I play with myself at the start of each month.

And finally, while refreshing my altar is the main ritual I have at the start of each month, it is not the only ritual I have: I also light incense. in this instance, I light Jasmine to welcome in abundance and prosperity for the month of March (I ran out of cinnamon incense). Specifically abundance through my Etsy store and prosperity from those around me I care for and who care for me.

I wanted to share this part of my ritual since I really love how the smoke looks in the photos I took.

And that's it! That's my little ritual I do the first of every month. It helps keep a routine in my life and that's something I'm very thankful for.

I hope this look into my practice helped you gain deeper insight into who I am and what I do. Spirituality and divination are such a large part of my life that it's important to me to let you know that it goes beyond just doing it as work. It's also something I do for fun.

Thank you so much for taking the time to come with me on this journey. Be sure to check out my Etsy and Instagram for more content like this! Thank you and have a happy March!

STORE | INSTAGRAM

#spirituality #channeled message #channeled reading #divination #divination readings #tarot #tarot reading #witch shop #witch store #witchblr #altar #ritual #witch #incense

[evvlevie]

it's all about your mindset: my shifting journey (in every detail possible)

Hi, Hello, to all my beautiful spiritual people out there! My name is Evie and today I will share my shifting journey with you. Actually this Tumblr blog was created only to connect with people on this topic. So how did it all start for me?

In 2020 when the whole world was shutdown I basically found shifting like nearly everyone else: TikTok. I was scrolling through my for you page and came across a bunch of people who claim to have experienced the Hogwarts-life. I was intrigued and confused at the same time. Obviously I was curious, but my first reaction, was the same as everybody's else: No way on earth this is possible. The 3D is the only reality and all of them must be unable to separate lucid dreaming from real life. I know why this came up on my fyp: I am very invested in astrology and if you are interested in that area you probably believe in manifesting and shifting, too. I decided to give it a try. It was a very half-assed try tho. I laid flat on my back on my parents bed and did the raven method. It didn't work. Obviously. I didn't understand what shifting is plus I was doubting it heavily. After that I didn't try to shift for a very very long time again.

Now I might not have tried to shift anymore, but I got deeper into the topic of manifesting and the law of attraction. As many people, I was very suspicious of it at first. How the hell can you have everything you want, just by wishing for it? I told my friend about it, and we decided to try it. She had a crush on a girl back then and I was crushing on a guy, so we both manifested a certain Text-message from them. Funny thing is: it wasn't working for me. He never texted me, BUT MY FRIENDS CRUSH ON THE OTHER HAND texted her exactly what she had manifested with the 3-6-9-Method. Why did it work for her and not me? My friend has adhd and she was able to do the "letting go"-part way better than me, who constantly thought about it and sat by the phone impatiently, waiting for him to finally text me. I didn't really believe in manifesting either at that time and I made it way harder than it actually is.

Fast forward a couple of months: August 2020. I was on vacation and my crush on this guy didn't budge. I was still utterly obsessed with him, but I had all sorts of feelings of worry: Should I keep chasing him? What if he isn't worth it? So what did I do? I manifested a sign. Fuck it. I heard you could do that, so why I wouldn't I? I laid in my bed and I prayed to the universe: "Please universe, if he is the one for me, give me a sign!". I went to sleep after, and the next morning I nearly forgot, that I had manifested a sign the night before. NOW I know, that if you want to manifest a sign, you should be as specific as possible. Anyway, my parents and I went to go sightseeing in this foreign city we were in, and I couldn't believe it. We went to get ice-cream and there were two streets you could go down: left and right. My intuition told me to go left, so I told my parents hey lets go this way! I turn the corner and THERE. A huge, and I mean huge, sign that says: *my crushes name*'s Photo-shop. I took a picture in disbelief. This was THE incident, that made me believe in manifesting, because a year later I was actually dating him. I manifested my entire relationship with him, because I realized how real manifestation was.

What do I want so say with this experience? This was the incident that really kickstarted my belief in manifestation. I told myself: Look how easily this comes to me! I noticed that many times, when friends would mention certain things or names in my presence suddenly we would see them. I remember thinking that I haven't seen my friends mom for a long time and 10 minutes later she is in my bus and sitting down next to me, starting a conversation. I remember thinking about one of my old colleagues from my internship 2 years ago, and that I absolutely hated that woman. Not even an hour later I see this woman across the street from me. Mind you, I never seen her in that specific place before, and never again after that incident. My friends and I started calling me the magnet, because you'd only have to think about something or mention something in my presence and suddenly I would accidentally manifest it into reality. I considered myself a master manifestor. I passed all my Finals even tho I barely studied for them. I got my dream job, without really trying hard for it. I got my crush with only a simple thought. I never missed a bus ever again, because I simply tell myself: Oh the universe loves me, the busses always arrive exactly when I arrive. And they did. They fucking still do. I am even fully convinced that I accidentally manifested the death of my friends dog. Because her dog hated everyone and everything. It was one of those annoying Chihuahuas. Every time it barked at me or tried to bite me I told him to go die. And guess what he did 4 days later... Listen I am not proud of this, I am really sorry actually, but because of incidents like that I fully believe in my power.

So now it's 2022. My friend casually asks me wether or not I have ever heard about shifting. I told her that I even tried it once, but never really got into it after that. She was shook that I, the magnet, the master Manifestor, didn't shift left and right. She basically brought me back to the community of shifting, and got me interested in it again. I tried for a while. I tried some methods, but after a couple of weeks or so I gave up. I decided I didn't want it hard enough and went about my life.

In April 2022 I came across a trio of YouTubers. The Sturniolo's (I am sure basically everyone knows them at this point). I started watching their car-videos and I remember thinking: "Damn it would be so fucking fun to do this with them." I just wanted to be their friend and scream and yell in Matts Car with them. Eventually my wish, my desire to do that, grew so much, I decided to give shifting an honest try. Its May now and let me tell you I have tried everything there is to try. Every Method imaginable, Every Guided Meditation, Drank Water 'til I nearly peed myself, scripted 5 different times, and I woke up every day disappointed, that I was still in my CR room not smelling oranges and hearing rain drops. I was on reddit, I was on amino and Shiftok (which is arguably the worst place for information on shfting). Hell I was even on Pinterest. I was so goddamn frustrated. Everyone talks about how easy it is, but why am I here struggling so hard?

Suddenly I saw angel numbers. And I don‘t mean the usuals like 111, 333 etc. I was seeing to specific numbers EVERYWHERE. 37 and 17. I decided the universe is talking to me. I couldn't give up. Shifting is real, I could feel it in my heart. I knew I must be doing something wrong and I just couldn't figure out what it was.

I had tried every platform for help, and I felt lost. Until I remembered that Tumblr existed. And holy hell. This flipped everything for me. EVERYTHING. I started re-blogging all the posts that gave me insight on what I was doing wrong. ITS ALL ABOUT THE MINDSET.

and goddamn it is. I read through all those posts and it made so much sense. My Methods never worked, because deep inside I knew that it's not the methods that would make me shift. I realized that I would never shift if I made it so hard to do. If you treat it like an impossible task, if you come from a place of desperation and frustration you won't shift. You EXPECT it to be hard, which is why it IS hard. I remembered my manifestation journey. How it never worked because I treated manifestation as the hardest and most magical thing ever. And how I can now manifest anything I could ever ask for because I treat it like the easiest thing ever, and how I see myself as the master manifestor and manifest knowing I can manifest. I never doubt myself anymore. I realized that you have to greet shifting from the same place.

So Evie, does that mean you yelled with Nick about birds taking over the world, yet? No, and I know exactly why. 10 Minutes ago I was going through everything I had reblogged and tried to write myself a little summary, because up until now I had really struggled with my mindset (I'm such a virgo). I overcomplicated everything for myself. "What am I supposed to say in my mind again so that it'll start working?" or "Wait how am I supposed to treat it again? Like it already happened? Or Like it is coming?" I got caught up in all of it, as if there was a specific recipe to follow. I was taking my notes when I saw my phone light up. My coworker had asked me previously if I could cover her shift from 2pm-8pm instead of my own which was 12pm-6pm. I agreed to, but in my head I was secretly wishing to cover my own instead because I didn't want to work the closing shift. I glanced over at my phone and read, that she texted me, that I would cover my own shift tomorrow instead of hers. I read the message and I stopped taking notes. Wasn't it obvious? I am the master manifestor. I am the magnet. I only have to think of my wishes for them to come true. I know it was the universe who stopped me from taking those notes, by showing me that all you have to do is wanting it. INTENTION.

You truly just need to desire something. Your desires are yours they are promised. When would I finally understand? There is no correct sentence to say in your head every five minutes in order to shift. I have this entire history of me figuring out how easy manifesting is. Dude, I got Asthma, it is literally easier than taking a breath but here I was obsessing over methods and ways to think even though they were all explaining me what I was doing all along since 2020: Manifesting by just simply wanting to manifest.

They were all so right when they said, that there is no definite tipp that will finally make you shift. There is no recipe, no formula. Don‘t stress about shifting. I know I will shift. Because I want to. Don‘t get too caught up in what affirmation to use, or what law to use or how long it's taking or ANYTHING. Your desires are promised. That's all you need to know. All I have ever wanted manifested into my reality, without ever stressing over it, because I believed in my power, and made it easy. It is literally just as hard or just as easy as you make it to be. it's never been any different.

You will shift. Because you want to. And as long as you believe that THAT is all it takes, then that's the truth you are living.

If I can kill my friends dog by telling it to die, then you can shift. Seriously. Stop worrying. Say you will and believe it. Periodt. That's your mindset now.

a lot of love,

Evie <3

#manifestation #law of manifestation #law of assumption #law of attraction #loa #shifting community #shifting #shifting realities #reality shift #reality shifting #shiftblr #shiftok #desired reality #current reality #spiritualawakening #spiritual community #spiritual vibrations #discover #spirituality #spiritualgrowth #spiritualinspiration

[strictpleasure]

Easy, Uneasy

My ex-girlfriend, Emily, had been offered a job abroad. She loved the city she was living in and hated to leave her friends behind. She asked me if I could move with her so that she would not feel lonely and we could face the hardships together. We would set up the flat together.

I was initially excited about the idea of living with Emily, but as we talked more and more, she let me know that she has no romantic interest in me, and will still be seeing other men. Even though I had real feelings for her, to Emily I was nothing more than a close pal to split the rent and life with.

After some careful consideration, I decided to accept her offer and become her platonic roommate. We found an amazing apartment close to the city centre with lots of natural light, and plenty of space for both of us. We bought matching furniture for our living room and bedroom, got a little plant each for our desks, and made sure the kitchen had all the necessary appliances.

We put a few specific guidelines in place. Emily was allowed to bring home friends and dates, but I promised to keep my own visitors to a minimum - ideally zero. I wanted her to be able to experience the joys of dating without being constantly reminded of me. It made me happy to see her looking for excitement and pleasure in her life.

We soon got comfortable with living together and began to truly appreciate each other's company. We would cook dinner together, go out for drinks on weekends, and watch Netflix when we felt like being lazy. We even went on day trips around the city together, exploring all its hidden gems.

Our friendly relationship blossomed and grew deeper with time. As we started living together, we grew closer and decided to hang out outside of our house too. She found liberation in sharing about all the guys she was interested in, and I listened carefully, giving my opinion so that she could find the perfect companion.

We both developed an appreciation for one another's interests - Emily helped me practice my photography skills by posing in various locations while I taught her how to properly take care of our indoor plants. She was using the photos on her social media to attract more interest. I was trying to make the best pictures of her.

After months of living together, Emily finally found her perfect companion and we celebrated their first date. We had a quiet dinner at a small Italian restaurant in the city centre, where I was glad to see just how happy she was with him. As they walked away holding hands, I felt content knowing that even though I wasn't her love interest, I could still be there for her during this journey of self-discovery. Her new boyfriend complimented me for being a good friend and an understanding roommate.

Living with Emily and her new boyfriend Mike had become a unique and beautiful experience. Mike came over for dinner or drinks, the atmosphere changed completely. His cheerful presence filled the house with joy and laughter - something that was sorely missing before. I loved how his enthusiasm for life pushed Emily to try new things and take risks she wouldn't have taken otherwise.

On their regular visits, Emily and Mike would stay up late talking about their days while I watched from the sidelines with a smile on my face. Even though it was still strange being around someone else besides her in our home, I felt content knowing that we were all sharing this special moment together. Watching them talk and laugh made me feel like I was part of something bigger - like a family. It also reaffirmed my decision to move in with Emily and share this amazing journey with her every step of the way! As our cozy home started to really come alive, I decided to take it upon myself to make sure that it stayed in pristine condition for our guests. I took care of the regular chores like cleaning up after meals, changing bedsheets, and tidying up the living room daily. On special occasions when we knew Mike was coming over, I'd go a step further by cooking a nice dinner or baking some homemade treats for us all to enjoy. It made me happy to see them smiling as they ate my creations - even if it meant spending hours on end slaving away in the kitchen!

As time went on, it became clear that there was something special between them. They started seeing each other exclusively and soon enough, Mike moved in with us. We welcomed him with open arms and were glad to have another person share the rent and the joys of living together.

We all worked hard to adjust to our new living arrangements - Emily spent a lot of time helping Mike settle in while I made sure both of them had everything they needed. We have been living together ever since, and I am glad that even though we are not romantically involved, our friendship is still as strong as it was when we first met. We continue to share meals, laughter and conversations about our days. In the end, I'm thankful for her offer to move in with her - it allowed us both to experience a unique kind of companionship that neither of us would've experienced otherwise.

But there was on thing. Mike was uneasy about his girlfriend living with a male. He suggested that I showcase my more feminine tendencies and dress as a woman rather than a man. In this manner, he would be the only masculine figure in the flat, feeling secure in his power. I agreed to the idea, mentioning that I had already worn women's clothing before.

Mike enjoyed making me wear women clothing at home. It was like living in a bordello. Mike, now the husband of the house and Emily his wife, ordered me around all day long, as if I were his maid. He used to tell on me if I wasn't wearing my lipstick or if I didn't fluff the pillows at bedtime. Just thinking about it made me shudder.

But as time went on, I found myself enjoying the idea of dressing up in women's clothing more and more. I loved the feeling of the silk stockings against my skin and the way the dresses hugged my curves. It was like a secret escape from my mundane life - a way to express myself in a way that I couldn't before.

Mike began to take an intense interest in my clothing and appearance, and started to buy me all sorts of outfits. He would take me out shopping for new dresses and lingerie, his eyes dancing with delight at the thought of seeing me in the garments he had chosen. Though I was initially hesitant, I soon let myself be guided by Mike's tastes, eagerly trying on whatever he picked out for me and watching as his face lit up with pleasure when I did.

It quickly became clear that my wardrobe wasn't just about clothes - it was about control. Mike started to order me around like a servant, demanding that I wear women's attire while performing housework for him and Emily. I would cook them breakfast while wearing frilly lace aprons and pour their afternoon teas into delicate china cups. They would sit at the table, praising me for fulfilling their wishes so perfectly. Although it felt strange at first, being told what to do without question, there was a certain sense of relief in not having to think or make choices for myself. Serving Mike gave me an odd sense of fulfillment. Mike started to be more dominant with me

, taking charge of not just my clothing but my entire being. He would assign me tasks that were demeaning and sometimes even painful, but I found myself becoming addicted to the feeling of submission. His touch was rough and possessive, as he explored my body with his hands and mouth, making me gasp and writhe with pleasure.

I had never experienced anything like this before, but the thrill of it all was too much to resist. Mike became my everything - my master, my lover, my tormentor. I was completely under his spell.

I was losing myself in his control, becoming a puppet to his every whim.

Mike was pushing my limits and testing my boundaries. I found myself wanting more - more of his commands, more of his attention, more of his touch. And he was more than willing to give it to me.

One evening, as Emily was away on business, Mike led me up to the bedroom and ordered me to undress. He watched with a predatory look in his eyes as I stripped down to nothing, leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable. But I couldn't deny the thrill that coursed through my body - the anticipation of what was to come.

Mike pulled out a box from under the bed, filled with all sorts of toys and restraints. He took out a pair of handcuffs and fastened them around my wrists, securing them to the headboard. I was his prisoner now, at his mercy.

He began to explore my body with his hands, touching me in ways that made me moan with pleasure. I had never felt so alive, so wanted, so owned.

#polyamory #polyamorous #poly

[minnesotadruids]

The Druids Found Me Before I Had Ever Found Them

I had a comment from @themageiboline​ on my previous post asking 

How did you wind up in a picture in a book on druidry before you even joined the RDNA?

This involves probably the strangest case of synchronicity I had ever encountered in my life, and it happened to help propel me into my spiritual journey on druidry. Very specifically, Reformed Druidry. 

When I was exploring Reformed Druidry, I had probably only seen the Wikipedia article on them or an early version of one of their websites for the first time back in summer of 2004. I had been dismissive of the order because the source indicated they didn’t take themselves very seriously, however in reality that’s an inaccurate overgeneralization these days.

I hadn’t looked into Reformed Druidism again until 2011. That year I was looking deeper into their resources, started reading A Reformed Druid Anthology, (AKA “ARDA”) and I was finding real meaning in the content. I started looking into other resources as I increasingly realized this group of druids was perhaps the right one for me.

And then I found the “semi-fictional” novella, “Druidical Treasure,” Written by Reformed Druids for Reformed Druids back in 2004. And there was a photo of me in it.

The photo of me in the novella was cropped and the bit depth had been greatly reduced. I know they had used photos gathered from the internet, not only because that’s how they found me, but my face is blurred in their version meaning I am certain they found it on an urban exploration website. I am standing on ladder rungs in a storm drain in this photo circa 2003. And guess what, I have the “high quality” original 3 megapixel photo right here:

Urban exploration was a very old hobby of mine and this was pretty close to the time I retired from the activity. In fact I now advise against such activities unless you have both permission to do so and the appropriate safety gear, but I digress.

When I saw the picture of me in the novella I wasn’t upset about them using a photo of me they found on the internet, I was much more shocked and amazed that of all the photos, they happened to choose one of me. I took it to be a sign that Reformed Druidry was the right path for me. Actually there had been multiple cases of synchronicity already. The lesser ones are unfortunately fading from my memory a bit, but aside from this, Reformed Druidry already aligned with some of my existing practices and personal ritual customs with a high degree of accuracy. 

Each passing coincidence had me thinking that I was going to join. Then I saw this and it made me feel like I had already been a member for seven years, unbeknownst to even myself. So I reached out and was welcomed in as a Reformed Druid, and not merely because of the coincidence.

#synchronicity #coincidence #fate #fluke #druidry #druid #reformed #druids #RDNA #druidism #druidic #urbex #surreal #happenstance

[existentialmagazine]

Review: The singer-songwriter Joey Miceli looks to stir deeper emotion in vulnerable new single ‘String of Pearls’

First stepping into the music industry at only nine years old, Joey Miceli has been slowly but surely on the rise through the last decade, pouring everything he has into his music. Known for his reflective, ethereal, and impassioned work, this singer-songwriter hailing from Las Vegas is unafraid to be real, a staple part of what makes his music so easy to love and connect with. Now sharing ‘String of Pearls’, Joey continues his themes of vulnerability with a slice of something new.

Sweet and sincere, ‘String of Pearls’ flows within a warmth and whimsicality that’s both a little aching and a little healing all at once, almost like Joey has captured the serenity of a solitary walk through nature pondering every high and low through your jumbled mind. With a carefully finger-picked acoustic guitar riff the only isolated instrument in play from the get-go, ‘String of Pearls’ is immediately so effortlessly fragile and yet still complex, flowing out like the pages of a diary kept close and revealed to only those deserving of listening. Joey’s vocals float within an angelic higher range that’s both lulling and comforting, carrying with his tender words just as much emotion and heart as there is confessional outpouring in his words. The chorus climbs through more ambitious heights, shifting into deep, drawn-out piano keys, whirring backing synthetics and distorted backing vocals to fade back into the second verse. Together, this minimal but luscious layering of sound creates such a textural depth to the journey of ‘String of Pearls’ , still feeling close-to-the-heart but padded out nonetheless. Pulsating beats build into the following chorus, all the while the aforementioned instruments rise further and in more prominence, a cathartic outburst of sorts that rescinds back into its more light introductory guitar to close things out. Though nearly four minutes in length, ‘String of Pearls’ isn’t really a song that can be defined by time, instead leaving you feeling deeply and staying with you for a lifetime.

Sharing his own personal philosophy on how we give grace to those who injure us, Joey writes of a heartbreak filled with compassion, healing and the realest of emotion. As one of the opening lines declares ‘I’m sure the next one will say the same’ , Joey straight-away shows a hint of frustration towards the repeated behaviour of someone who did him wrong, knowing it’s a pattern sure to continue. Further singing ‘even when I felt the closest you had me at a distance, like I was so goddamn witness’ , Joey captures the sense of a one-sided romance, feelings left unreciprocated and yet still led on to be something more. Giving his all and receiving only a fraction in return, ‘String of Pearls’ embodies the yearning to be loved we all carry, and the devastation of wholeheartedly loving someone who doesn’t see us quite the same. Placing himself first, Joey reveals ‘I chose a better part of me to end a violent chemistry, you had me at sadistic, I took you with your sickness’, finally prioritising his own happiness above the toxic partnership he had endured. It feels like hints of guilt had kept him stuck in the past though, feeling a sense of obligation to support them through their lows: ‘let your past roam unbound, ‘cause you could never face yourself without my help.’ Even through it all, Joey still finds the strength to show gratitude and love at the core, an ode to his character and the growth we all have to build upon as the complexities of being human will always be a messy entanglement of finding ourselves: ‘when I start to think of you, I’ll think of you laughing, your smile reminds me you’re not vicious, just adapting.’

Check out ‘String of Pearls’ for yourself here to feel deeper touch of Joey’s words with a sound that’ll linger with you long after.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

#tatiana

[dext1fy]

Summative Assessment Compulsory Question 2: Connect CTS A to all your other modules (and components)

CTS has really enhanced a lot of my skills that are useful in multiple modules. For example, critical thinking is something I use every day, from thinking out of the box during craft so as to make my design unique to understanding different ways to compose my photos to show key ideas such as movement, rhythm and even time. CTS has enhanced my critical thinking and has made me more creative, reflective and adaptable to different situations and challenges I face on a daily basis. 

On the other hand, collaborative communication skills are equally important, we communicate with people from all walks of life every day and as we work in the studio we want to have a conducive environment free of conflict which is where emotional intelligence and relationship building come into play.

Self-management is important as well as the exams in Lasalle work by doing different projects for 14 weeks before finally submitting it over to the teacher to show what we have done. Managing our time to work a little on our project every day is a must instead of leaving everything to the last moment. 

However, although self-management is important, I believe that learning about a growth mindset during CTS is the most important of all. Coming to an art school, there are many things that I have never done before such as using Adobe, rotoscoping, being extremely creative in craft and composing photos to invoke a certain feeling or meaning. Success or failure depends on our mindset. Having a growth mindset allows me to persevere and give it a try even if it is hard. I would constantly go to my lecturers and ask for feedback on how to improve and make my work better. Without having a growth mindset, I would have never put in as much effort as I have in work and maybe even cause myself to give up because I just don’t know how to do anything. 

Now going more in depth on how CTS connect with other modules. I feel that week 3 studio, research frameworks, is probably one of the activities where I made use of most of the things I’ve learned in CTS. Firstly, critical thinking, I had no clue where to start, my quote was complicated and I could not connect it to anything. Critical thinking allowed me to analyse the situation and that is when my research began. I started looking through Google, Pinterest, art websites and anything I could find to link the quote and although I did find some artists and their work I just pasted them in and said a few words to connect the quote. Although it looked nice visually, inside it was like a skeleton.

However, after consulting with Timmothy, my studio lecturer, I understood the brief from his point of view. This involved communication skills and self-awareness that my old work was not up to standard and that I needed to do something about it. This is where the growth mindset came in, at first I didn’t really feel like doing everything again as I had already spent so much time, however, I felt like this was an opportunity to improve myself so I took a small break before starting back from scratch and through perseverance and a lot research and citation skills learned from CTS, I worked on my project once again and now it is not only visually appealing but there is sufficient content deeper behind the pictures, showing my thinking process, the sites and videos I got my ideas from and how it all connected back to the quote.

CTS has helped me to grow into a designer with a strong foundation of basic soft skills and has helped me to be more resilient against challenges and has made me more open-minded about learning and to constantly improve myself. The process may be an arduous and hard journey however what I have to reap in the end will be something worth the hundreds of hours that I have put in, not only the finishing products but the skills and experience that I have gone through to become a greater person.

[dee-daas-bookhouse]

Cycas

A photographer travels back in time for their work for a scientific magazine.

The story starts UTC

It stood above me. 5 meters tall, its wings bent in a way that made the tips point upwards. Its 3 meters long beak opened swiftly and click!

I got to the town of Hațeg last evening. The flight felt infinite, despite me sleeping throughout most of it. The plane landed in Romania and I then drived off in a jeep, which my agency provided, to a place, where my real journey begins.

I stood in the basement of a modest house. In the middle was a circular platform around which stood researchers and a few people from the agency along with the house’s owner. I stepped onto the platform and in front of me appeared a screen, on which were two sections. Place and time. I typed the answer and disappeared in a flash of a blue light from the sights of everyone around.

Hațeg Island, Late Cretaceous, 66 million years ago

I opened my eyes, which I had closed during the travel. I’m still getting used to those intense lights…

It took a while for my vision to adapt to its surroundings. It was raining. But if I estimated the era correctly, today was the last day in the rainy season.

I took a raincoat out of the backpack and put it on. I hung one camera around my neck and put two backup cameras inside my pockets. Last thing, I pulled out of the bag, was a box, about 20 cm big. Right after I opened it, 4 small robots, with the function of photographing not only the terrain from bird’s eye view, but also the places too dangerous for a human, flew out. Each one went in a different direction. I turned on the main camera and set off towards a small forest.

I searched for any sign of life. After two hours of walking, which seemed to be in circles, was when I decided to také a rest. I sat on a nearby log, which was clearly broken by a lightning, and waited for the pain in my legs to disappear.

After a short while an Eleopteryx, a small theropod covered in feathers, hopped onto the log. It turned its head and observed me curiously while fluffing the feathers around the neck, to seem bigger. It folded its legs under its body and its arms, which looked more like wings, rested on its sides. With minimal movement, I took out the camera and begun work. The dinosaur seemingly didn’t mind, that a strange creature, which it has never seen before, is clicking around its head and body. However after a few minutes it tensed up. Then it stood up quickly and ran deeper into the forest. What could have scared it so much?

My question was answered by a sprinting Rhabdodon herd. They were short, but their lenght reached about 5 meters. Something frightened them. I waited for the herd to completely leave and then went in the opposite direction of their footprints, which had wedged into the damp soil. The road wasn’t long, in a few minutes, I was at my destination.

In front of me laid a corpse of a Rhabdodon calf, on which fed three dromaeosaurids from the Balaur family. Their feathered heads were crimson, from being put inside the stomach cavity of the small creature. In size, they were similar to the Velociraptor. Around 2 meters long and tall like a regular turkey.

The desire after a photo beat self-preservation. I slowly walked forward, taking two to three photos per step. When I leaned over the calf’s body, I found out, the Balaurs have decided to run away. I looked up and luckily caught a glimpse of the last one as it was holding a big chunk of meat in its jaws. I went around the small corpse and slowly followed the dromaeosaurid.

Balaur, which from its colouring I assumed to be a female, arrived at a small meadow and begun climbing one of the trees. I bent down, to prevent her from seeing me. This short moment was quiet and highly thrilling. I kept watch on every side. Front, back, left, right. And most importantly up. The Balaur female climbed down and disappeared between the other trees. That was a sign for me to stand up and go to the tree, which the dinosaur had climbed. With the help of some ropes, I climbed up and sat on a thick branch, which was protruding below a big hole. From it sounded loud chirping, though it didn’t sound exactly like that of a baby chick. But it for sure sounded hungry. From a breast pocket, I took out a small plastic box with pieces of raw chicken. I put on a pair of thick gloves, which are used when working with raptors such as eagles or falcons, and moved closer to the hole.

I took a single piece of meat, in my other hand I held the camera. I put both the lens and the feeding hand into the hole and hoped that I will not lose either of them. Through the glove, I felt the small teeth of young Balaurs. On the camera’s screen appeared around five small fluffy dinosaurs, which hungrily moved their necks, which made them look like every fledgeling known to man. I continued with the feeding and photographing. When I ran out of food, I put the box and the gloves away, and with a pain in my heart, telling me to stay and look after the babies, I climbed down and left.

I went through the forest and returned to the place, where I arrived from the modern time, to build a camp and try to sleep over the night. It was surprisingly calm. The only thing I heard, was the rain and some far away screams.

In the morning, I woke up early. According to the messages from the robotic assistants, a lake was northwards. A herd of Magyarosaurs went to drink there. I had a quick breakfast and packed up for the journey. I put the tent and all equipment back inside the backpack I carried. It was heavy, but I got used to it after a few years of hard work.

I walked between the trees and took a few more pictures, to not waste time.

After a half hour journey, I arrived at the edge of a meadow, in the middle of which was a lake. And around it was a herd of the sauropods I was searching for. Magyarosaurs! The adults were around 6 meters long and tall barely like a ten-year-old child. Calves were running around the water and between the adults by which they were occasionally scolded, only to soon start playing again. I begun to take photos. Despite the stereotype of this era, the sight was calm and pleasant.

Suddenly the herd seemed unsettled by something. I looked up. They were here.

With a wingspan of 10 to 12 meters they circled above the meadow. Three azhdarchids from the Hatzegopteryx family. In the blink of an eye, the peaceful place turned to the place of bloodshed. The azhdarchids flew down and swiftly ate the Magyarosaurs, swallowing them whole. The herd ran in all directions and I started to run as well. Althought I probably should have stayed hidden.

One of the Hatzegopteryxes started to follow me. It had to go back in air, because it couldn’t fit inside the forest and it glided above me. I quickly hid under the log, which I sat on yesterday and called the assistants, which got to me right away and returned to their box. I put it away and ran to the place of relocation. The azhdarchid still has not left me.

I got to the place and stood on the exact spot where I arrived. I stomped my foot twice. Nothing. The activation was not working. I stomped again. Still nothing. The predator was already flying in circles above me. Then it swiftly flew down. I was shaking with fear, despide trying to not show it. The animal slowly paced towards me.

It stood above me. 5 meters tall, its wings bent in a way that made the tips point upwards. Its 3 meters long beak opened swiftly and click!

I took the last photo. It was a little blurry from my hands shaking, but that did not matter.

The predator closed its jaws on nothing. And the last thing it saw was a flash of blue light.

#deedaa's bookhouse #writing #writers on tumblr #sci-fi #original story #short story #this one is older but it's one of my favourites among the ones i've written #prehistory #speculation #lots of speculation #might not be scientifically accurate lol #srry for any grammar mistakes

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Thoughts on the costuming of Bad Buddy (a thread*)

Episode 12:

How is it the last one?! 😭 It's taken me a while to write this because it feels like once I'm done then Bad Buddy really is over...but I can't put it off any longer.

If it weren't enough seeing Pran's mint green towel and Pat and Pran's bedsheets (the former being red and blue, the latter having red, yellow, and blue stripes) in the beginning, surely we should have known they were still together by their first outfits. I mean, they're literally wearing the SAME COLOURS. They're colour coordinating. They've become one. And with Wai in such a vibrant yellow - that should have been an indicator that Pat is still in love and happy!

Generally, a lot of this episode has quite a neutral, earthy palette of colours - apart from some vibrant choices which I'll come to later on. At first I couldn't see a pattern or reasoning for this (I like to make connections) until I took the screenshots and saw the two families side by side. I was then reminded of my interpretation of the confrontation scenes at the end of ep 10 - in which Pran and his mum wear pastel/muted colours whereas Pat's family wear brighter colours and deeper shades, highlighting the differences between the two families.

But now, here, four years later, we have Pat's dad eventually drink the liquor that Pran gave him and Pran's mum giving Pran's guitar to him and smiling when she hears him and Pat upstairs. The families may not have reconciled yet, they might not be openly accepting of their son's boyfriend...but they've started their journey, they're on their way, albeit slowly (and whilst they wait for them, Pat and Pran are living their best life regardless), and this I believe is reflected in the shared palette of colours.

Yes, Pat's family has more red (in the furnishings and Pran's mum's top and earrings) but there is blue in Pat's dad's stripes and Pat's t-shirt (see below). And yes, Pran's mum has a richer blue and there's no red to be seen...but the other colours are similar - and linked by Pat and Pran's once again coordinating colours...even Ink and Pa are contributing to this one big extended family.

Quick aside to bring up again the fact that Pat is wearing the same smile shirt that's in his laundry basket in ep 1 when he first reminisces about him and Pran as kids.

One reoccurring colour in this episode is brown in varying shades, which I think is representative of sacrifice or yielding. Pat and Pran both sacrifice something for each other, they know that to love each other fully they each have to give the other the space they want and need to grow as individuals - Pran goes to Singapore whilst Pat stays in Thailand to work for his father. They also sacrifice some element of their freedom by keeping their relationship a secret from their families and friends...although it also gave them the possibility to be together as a couple - a compromise had to be made. And the parents sacrificed being involved in a part of their son's lives by not being able to put their own rivalry behind them.

In this vein, I was happy to see Pat's dad in brown when he yielded to Dissaya and reversed so that she could drive on before him. 👏🏼

And now for a change of colours...and on to mint green! I've already mentioned Pran's towel at the beginning, but I liked that mint green was included when Pat took Pran to the airport to go to Singapore - symbolising the strength of their union in the moment of physical separation. They may not be seeing each other in person for a while but that doesn't mean they're any less of a couple.

I've also seen a lot of gifs/photos where the creators have enhanced the mintiness of the curtain behind Pat when Pat and Pran are reminiscing the past four years (handily recapping for us the audience as well). It's subtle but I do love that in a moment when they are showing the strength of their love and togetherness, once again mint is present.

And in a similar vein, I was so happy to see Pa in purple! I stand by it being their couple colour (like mint green is for Pat and Pran)...although I wish I could make a cool interpretation for Ink's blue demin shirt...but whatever (maybe it's just there as a connection to Pat 🤷🏽‍♀️ - not everything has to mean something).

So on to the more vibrant colours...I've already written about all the red and blue details in the episode - and that includes Pa and Ink's red and blue outfits in the bar. I do find it interesting that both in the bar/noodle scene and in the high school reunion, Pat is the one in 'neutral' colours (black/grey) whilst Pran is in orangey/red, and then green, blue, red, and white stripes. In some ways this feels like a bit of a reversal for them - it feels easier to associate Pat with the more 'colourful' outfits (even though this seems to show it's actually quite even). @transpat wrote a great analysis of Pat and Pran's character development, which I think explains this reversal well:

"ep12 was such a perfect mirror to ep8. where pat couldn’t bear to keep them a secret and pran was too afraid of being found out, pat now learns their love doesn’t need to be announced to the world to remain valid or for them to stay true to themselves, while pran understands why pat wanted to be loud about his relationship, he’s the one who doesn’t hold his laughter, the one to send his father-in-law gifts."

Pran used to be reserved and feared for the consequences of their relationship...but now he's unabashedly open. Pat used to be loud, brash, and impulsive but now he understands that his love isn't any less if it's quiet. ❤️💙

And lastly, the wonderful final scene 😭 With both of them again in neutral colours but this time Pat has yellow on his shirt...literally wearing his love and happiness on his chest. I received a lovely anon ask regarding all the fairy lights...suggesting that the shear number of lights and electric candles here symbolises Pat and Pran just being done with hiding their love and happiness. They're both loving loudly now.

I can't believe that's it. It's over. It really is over now. 😭

[Ep 1] [Ep 2] [Ep 3] [Ep 4] [Ep 5] [Ep 6] [Ep 7] [Ep 8] [Ep 9] [Ep 10] [Ep 11]

#*pun absolutely intended #bad buddy #bad buddy series #bad buddy the series #patpran #pat x pran #bad buddy costume colour theories #bbcct #bad buddy episode 12 #this one was super hard to do #so I hope y'all extra appreciate it 😂

[aiiwa]

BEAUTIFUL IN BLUE — IWAIZUMI HAJIME.

— iwaizumi hajime.

⤷ genre: college au - fluff / smut

⤷ warnings: cursing, mature content and themes. smut: fingering (vaginal and anal), unprotected sex. kind of proof read but if you see a typo...no you didn’t.

⤷ word count: 6.4k

— a/n: set in the “FRESHMAN YEAR” universe, and is a continuation of “PRETTY IN PINK” - which i suggest reading before this. for those who wanted some real action after pretty in pink, this is for you <3.

a couple of weeks had passed since the incident. at least that’s what you had been addressing the day you had sent photos of you modelling your new lingerie to iwa, as. things had seemingly returned back to normal, photo unmentioned, and still your steady friendship continued with the oblivious brunette.

and now november had announced its arrival, with your boots beginning to disappear under crunchy oceans of cherry, merigold and bronze, and the potent, musky-sweet smell of browning leaves swirling around the air. it was the tell tale sign that fall was well and truly here, and what better of a time to drive out of town for the day, and celebrate momijigari.

at least that’s what you had told yourself before, what was meant to be a two hour drive, turned into over three hours spent in a car with the oversized toddlers know as your best friends.

“i’m hungry~!” whined toddler number one from behind you.

mattsun outstretched his long arms, reaching around the passenger seat you sat in, in an attempt to steal more of your snacks. you had made sure everyone knew to bring their own food and water, double- no, triple checked everyone was on the same page. but of course it was no surprise that mattsun was the only one to turn up empty handed. so when his grabby hands slapped against your cheeks for the nth time, you angled your face and snapped your jaw right on his thumb.

mattsun shrieks, jolting back away from you. “fucking hell, y/n!”

twisting around in your seat, you smirk, watching as he checked over the distinct bite mark on his red thumb.

“ha, serves you right.” pipes the figure slouched next to mattsun in the back seat. “ugh i need to take a leak.”

the peach-haired, number two toddler was none other than makki. he’d woken up cranky that morning, and it only seemed to worsen when he’d been shoved into the back with the chatty mattsun. within the first ten minutes he had tried to suffocate the latter with his pillow, and when that didn’t work, he took to blasting music in his headphones and facing himself towards the window for majority of the ride. only engaging with everyone when you began snacking, and he had decided to drink all of his juice just to spite mattsun.

“oi, iwa! control your gremlin!”

“shut up.”

“no, you shut up! you didn’t even want to share your juice with me!”

“i will literally piss on you right now.”

losing interest in the bickering duo behind you, your attention diverted to the third, brooding toddler beside you in the driver’s seat. you had spent majority of the drive admiring the way iwa handled himself behind the wheel; the flex of his arms under the fitted cotton of his blue long sleeve as he turned the wheel, and how the pads of his long fingers would tap against the worn leather to the beat of whatever tune began playing on shuffle. yet out of everything, it was when iwa took to mumbling the lyrics of whichever cheesy love song you were belting out to, that you found yourself falling even deeper into the pit of your affections for him.

throughout the drive, iwa had mostly managed to ignore the others’ antics - with your intervention of course. but with how tight his grip on the steering wheel had become from the squabbling in the backseat, and the dark look brewing under his cap; it was clear how close he was to losing his cool.

extending your arm out in front of him, you offer the hershey bar in your hand, brushing it against the pout of his bottom lip. iwa’s olive eyes glance questioningly at you from the side, to which you only offer a small grin.

“take a bite.” you order. the, ‘you look like you need it,’ is silent, but obvious in the way you prod the treat at his closed mouth.

“mmph-”

his eyes returned to the road before him as he parted his lips, pink tongue making a brief appearance before he took a small bite of your chocolate. you attempt to retract your arm, until iwa moves one hand to grab your wrist; bringing you back to him to take a bigger bite of the sweet, thumb rubbing against the inner side of your palm.

the corner of his mouth tugs upwards, as he mumbles a small, “thank you.”

heat floods your cheeks, and you catch yourself before you drop the chocolate on his lap. distracted by the deafening beat of your heart pounding in your ears, you don’t notice the silence that fills the car, or the not-so subtle click of mattsun snapping a photo of the two of you in the front and sending it to the group chat. you’re pulled out of your slight trance, by a flash of peach entering your field of view.

“that was disgusting...ly sweet. and now i suddenly need to puke, so hurry it up would you.”

as makki leans back, mattsun is quick to replace him, popping his head between you and iwa.

“don’t just ignore me, y/n, feed me chocolate too!”

rolling your eyes, you shove the bar in his mouth; the rest of you three laugh as he falls back into his seat, all the while he happily munches on the treat.

a little time passes before iwa’s flicking his indicator, signalling his turn into the free parking space outside the nature reserve. he shifts the gear into park before everyone piles out - makki walking over to wrap his thick, fossil grey scarf around your neck, the cashmere soft against your skin; while mattsun offers to carry your little backpack, only sending you a sly smile when you question his reasoning for taking the bag from you. you hug iwa’s offered arm to your chest, as the four of you start trekking along the uneven pathways leading towards lake kawaguchi. the walk isn’t necessarily long, but none of you are in a rush - strolling leisurely and enjoying the atmosphere.

and when you finally reach the end of your walk, you still yourself, awestruck by the beauty surrounding you. the glassy lake shimmering under the afternoon rays, crisp maple leaves painted red, swaying to the breezy flow of the cool wind, and the tinkling laughter from young children running about on the golden fields - filled your chest with warmth.

“it’s so beautiful here.”

your voice comes out as a whisper for only iwa’s ears to hear; with makki off to relieve himself and mattsun trailing after him, acting as if you didn’t see him rummaging through your snacks. iwa only hums in agreement, missing the way he hasn’t even acknowledged the view, his gaze set solely on you.

this is what the tradition of momijigari meant; taking time away from your busy schedule to spend a moment to enjoy this small piece of life. and of course, capturing the moment with some of your favourite people on camera. so when you busied yourself with taking photos with the towering men, it really shouldn’t have surprised you when your phone began to buzz with an incoming facetime call.

sliding your thumb across the screen to answer the call, you’re greeted by the sight of oikawa’s toothy grin; illuminated by a bright light you knew had to be artificial, since it was nearing two a.m. in argentina.

“yahoo, y/n-chan! you didn’t think i’d miss out on a photoshoot did you? i already missed out on you feeding me chocolate!” you shoot an embarrassed glanced at iwa, noticing the slight furrow between his brows and the faint dust of pink across his cheeks.

“photoshoot…?” a confused makki mumbles behind you.

mattsun leans over your shoulder, shoving his face in the camera. “oi, isn’t it late for you?”

you raise a single shaped brow as oikawa scoffs, brushing his fingers through his perfectly styled hair. “the pretty face of this group has finally blessed you, and that’s all you have to say?” mattsun scrunches his face in offence, as oikawa continues. “besides, i may be in a different country but i refuse to miss out!”

and it was because of his soft pout that you found yourself posing with your phone by your face, making sure to catch oikawa’s best angles; having long given up on questioning the setter and his antics. the so-called photoshoot came to an abrupt end later on when a tired and cranky oikawa yawned, apparently ruining another photo according to him, and iwa’s finger just so happened to slip and disconnect the video call.

“he’s stubborn.” was all he had said when you, makki and mattsun side eyed him. “we should head back home before it gets late.”

the drive back to tokyo seemed relatively faster than the journey to fujikawaguchiko. it was as if your body went into autopilot as you sat behind the wheel, this time taking responsibility as the driver while the boys napped; only coming to when you were parking iwa’s truck into their apartment’s parking lot, moments after the sun had set.

it was a silent and unanimous decision to order take out for dinner, the four of you seated around the black walnut dining table to dig in. meal times with the boys were hectic, and competitive for the most part - it was survival of the fittest. you were often being challenged by mattsun - tonight having lost the last few gyoza to him.

though it became obvious who the real loser was when mattsun flopped his head onto your lap, while you were lounging out on the settee.

“y/n~” mattsun drawled out. “rub my belly, it hurts!”

“no.”

“please, y/n~! my one and only best friend, the moon to my stars, the curry to my rice-”

he releases a satisfied sigh once you reach a hand out to press your palm against his stomach, rubbing soothing circles to stop his whining; and you catch makki roll his beady eyes at the two of you, as he flicks through suggested films to watch on netflix. iwa strolls into the living room, pillows and a comforter stacked in his arms; laying them neatly on the couch he shares with you on movie nights.

“oh, iwa, could you send me the photos please?” he nods his head once, barely glancing over at you and mattsun; pulling out his phone and dropping himself unceremoniously across the adjacent sofa. “thank you.” you call out once your phone pings with several notifications.

still rubbing mattsun’s stomach, your free hand casually scrolls through the pictures from today.

you snicker to yourself at the first series of chaotic images. a selfie with smushed faces pressed together and a phone-sized oikawa tucked right under your jaw, a blurry pic of the boys throwing vermillion leaves at each other, and even a timed snapshot where you, mattsun and makki had leapt on iwa’s back - your legs wrapped around his torso, while makki squished you from behind, and mattsun had flopped himself on top of the pile. there was even a shot of the aftermath, your phone and oikawa somehow surviving the tumble, and a deadpanned iwa staring straight at the camera as the three of you behind him cackled with your heads thrown back.

at least a few wholesome pictures had been captured. a sweet group photo with all of you huddled by each other in front of a vibrant maple tree; you and iwa were flanked by mattsun and makki respectively, as oikawa was held between you and iwa like a prized trophy. even a rare moment where makki and mattsun had their arms hooked around each other, with easy going grins on both of their faces, had been caught.

butterflies erupted in your tummy, fluttering about once you swiped to the next photo. it was a candid shot of you and iwa standing by the brilliant blue lake front. you were leaning into his side, holding two leaves at the top of your head to mimic cat ears, face tilted upwards. giggling, your eyes were shut, and only now can you see that you missed the soft smile iwa donned looking down at you.

it was almost painful to admit that together you looked like a couple, and it didn’t help that most times you even acted as such. sneaking a glance at the man in question, you watch him chatting quietly to makki, gripping your phone tightly in your grasp at the sound of him laughing at whatever snide comment escaped your peach-haired friend. you couldn’t help but sigh, being in love with one of your best friends only got harder each day.

unknowingly you had already swiped to the last photo iwa had sent, so when you return your gaze the screen, you shriek; dropping your phone flat on mattsun’s face.

“um, what the fuck, ow.”

iwa’s sharp eyes shoot towards you instantly. “what’s wrong?”

you only shake your head, warmth filling your cheeks and an itch you just can’t scratch prickling under your skin. makki only shrugs, shifting his attention back to the television. iwa is more hesitant, the feeling of his olive eyes giving you a once over does nothing to calm your nerves from being sent into overdrive. when he finally turns away, you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“ugh, what even had you going even more crazy than usual all of a sudden?” mattsun groans from your lap. as he reaches to lift your phone off of his face, you’re quick to snatch the device away.

“n-nothing!” he only raises a thick brow at your defensive tone, before grabbing your hand to continue your ministrations.

glancing around the room, you pull the screen close to your face; taking in the photo, you felt your mouth run dry. 

there was no way this could have been sent to you on purpose - because the sight of a shirtless iwa at his second home, the gym, was definitely not taken at lake kawaguchi. anyone with eyes could tell how ripped iwa was under his fitted shirts. but over the past few months you had noticed that he’d run off to the gym more often; and it was obvious in the way his clothes struggled to stretch over his bulked up build these days.

it was a mid work out, mirror selfie; iwa’s dark, mocha coloured hair plastered to his forehead, bare chest glistening from the sweat dripping down from his neck. he was seated on the rubber floor, one long, tanned leg stretched out in front of him with the other bent at the knee, elbow resting loosely against his leg. your eyes greedily took in the defined dips of his toned stomach, dark snail trail leading downwards to the evident bulge of his grey shorts; the hem cutting into the flexed muscles of his thighs.

the heat pooling between your thighs as your imagination ran wild was just about to peak when-

“oi, y/n.” you almost jump, locking your screen, and blinking away the dazed look in your eyes. when your vision cleared, you found makki standing in front of you. “we’re gonna watch the movie now.”

“oh, right.”

mattsun rolls off your lap with a groan, complaining to makki about who is gonna rub his belly now, while you stand up. shuffling over to iwa, he stretches before shifting and making room for you to squeeze in next to him.

“c’mere.” he mumbles, throwing his arm around you and pulling you into his side.

the beat of your pounding heart is almost deafening in your ears, you’re near to hyperventilating, as your mind is sent into overdrive. the two of you were always cuddling platonically during movies, ever since the one time you had complained about being cold in their apartment. but this time was different. ‘is this how he felt when you had sent a picture of your new lingerie?’ you think to yourself. you spend the next hour deep in your thoughts, completely lost to whatever is happening in the sci-fi film makki had chosen, and when the end credits start rolling on the screen - iwa announces he’ll drop you off back to your dorm.

it’s close to midnight; so makki wishes you a goodnight, as a sleepy mattsun rests against his shoulder, making grabby hands for you not to go. you wave as you leave, following after iwa who opens the passenger side door of his truck, helping you jump up into the seat, before closing the door and making his way to the driver’s side.

your dorm isn’t too far from their apartment complex, so you’re not surprised at how quick the ride is. the street is unusually busy, yet completely void of any roaming students. and with no private parking for students, iwa’s forced to pull up near a secluded cluster of tall trees, a bit away from the dorm entrance.

“i’ll walk you in.” iwa says, leaving no room for argument. he reaches for his phone, as a message flashes across his screen. “oh, oikawa asked why you’ve been ignoring his messages.”

“huh?” you flip your own phone in your hand, watching as the facial recognition unlocks and suddenly iwa’s gym selfie is on full display for the both of you. it takes a moment for you to process the situation, and all you can manage is a simple, “oh,” as you resist the urge to fling your phone out of the window.

“nice photo.” iwa pipes up, you don’t even try to look at him, but the smirk in his tone is evident. “where’d you get it?”

his question throws you off, and you’re quick to turn your head to narrow your eyes at him. “what do you mean? iwa, you literally sent it to me?!”

“really? shit i must have done it by accident.”

“an accident?”

“yeah, like what you did to me. remember?”

you gasp, moving back almost as if you’ve been struck, while iwa simply laughs at your expression. a full on belly laugh that has him throwing his head back, illuminated by the glow emitting through his open moon roof. you should’ve been dwelling in the embarrassment that came with him turning your own words back on you - yet you found your own laughter mixing in with his. only when both of you had calmed down a bit, did an electrified silence fill the car.

fiddling with your phone in your lap, the strands of hair curtaining the sides of your face, is brushed aside and tucked behind the cuff of your ear. glancing at iwa, the corner of his mouth is pulled up into a fond smile as his thumb caresses the shell of your ear.

“sorry for teasing you, pretty lady. couldn’t help myself after you sent me that picture looking all pretty in pink.”

“i…” words escape you as his large hand trails down the side of your cheek. you’re suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to do something - it’s almost at the tip of your tongue, before you grab at his wrist and whisper a, “fuck it.”

leaning over the middle, you reach a hand to hold the back of his head as your lips press against his own. lips even softer than they appeared, the lingering taste of his wild cherry lip balm, the same one you owned, tasted sweeter than you remembered. after a moment, of the kiss not being reciprocated, you pull back.

“just had to do it once.” you murmur, lips still tingling.

iwa’s minty breath fans across your face as he releases an airy sigh. “then let’s do it a second time.”

this time his hand wraps loosely around your neck, pulling you towards him, and slanting his mouth over yours. you moan into the kiss as his tongue darts out to tease your lower lip. leaning into him, you almost keel forward as this time he pulls away. slightly breathless, you open your eyes to take in the barely restrained lust and adoration in his handsome features, mimicking you’re own.

“third time’s a charm, right?”

the devilish grin iwa gives you in response to your innocently posed question, has you climbing over the centre console. at the same time he’s rolling the chair back away from the leather steering wheel, making space for you to slide onto his lap and straddle him. molding your lips to his, the feeling of your tongue exploring his mouth and you grinding into him slowly; has him release a hiss as his hands grab at the fullness of your ass.

tugging at his collar, your words are muffled against his mouth. “take this off, now.”

he chuckles at your demand, pulling the hem of his shirt past the bulk of his shoulders and over his head - blindly throwing it to the backseat. you drag your eyes over the sight of his broad chest, taking in every delicious dip of his stomach; leaning forward, your tongue licks a tentative stripe along his neck, that has iwa’s breath hitch before peppering wet kisses along his skin. your hands roam around his toned body, while his own larger ones slide under your top; a searing hot trail following his exploration of your body. he draws small circles at your hips, leading up to hold your waist and bring your even closer against him.

“your turn, baby.” he whispers to you, fisting the bottom half of your top. “be fair to me, i wanna see more of you.”

sitting up straight in his lap, you slip the thin top over your head; following his suit in flinging it to the backseat. your hair brushed past your bare shoulders, exposed skin feeling the chill of the autumn night; but the look in iwa’s olive eyes, irradiated by the moonlight streaming in from the uncovered moonroof, was scorching hot. rough palms, flat against your smooth skin, slid over your tummy, teasing the sheer mesh of your bra, before playing with the baby blue ribbons on the straps.

“y/n.” iwa groans out, tracing the floral stitching and feeling the hardened nubs of your nipples under the fabric. with the moon haloing behind you, the way he stares up at you is so raw and intense, it has you frozen in anticipation. “you look so fucking beautiful in blue.”

he doesn’t wait for your response as he reaches behind you to unhook your bra, freeing your breasts from its confines. iwa’s quick to take a pebbled nub into his hot mouth, suckling as his fingers tweak the other. your fingers thread through his dark locks, when he moves and switches his focus; a lewd string of saliva dragging from your nipple to his pink tongue. stuttered grinding from his mouth distracting you, had you reaching a hand between each other to palm his erection - wanting to ease some of the tension. but iwa’s quick to snatch your hand away.

“iwa...let me touch you?”

releasing you from his mouth, he kisses the pout from your lips. “no, baby, don’t worry about me.”

“why not?” you whine.

“i wanna make you feel real good, gotta prep you for me first. is that okay with you, baby?” he only smiles softly as you start to relax against him. “i need to know if you’re okay with this. care about you so much, i just want you to be comfortable. let me know if you wanna stop right now.”

“no, h-haji...please, i don’t want to stop. i want you so bad. i need you, ah-”

your consent was all he needed before he pulls you back into him, kissing you so slow you feel dizzy; his hands travel low on your body, working the button of your jeans, as your fingers dig into his shoulders. when he breaks away from you, he helps you slip out of the dark denim, tugging each pant leg off until all you wearing is the stringy, baby blue panties that leaves little to the imagination.

“fuck, you’re gonna be the death of me.” iwa groans out, rubbing a hand across his face as you giggle lightly. while you hover over him, he quickly strips off his pants, kicking them off onto the floor before grabbing onto your hips. “flip around on me, baby. that’s right, face the front.”

settling down onto his lap, the thin cotton of his briefs does nothing to hide the print of his hard-on he’s sporting underneath. and with your back pressed to his warm chest, you roll your hips teasingly into him.

“come on, haji...let me help you.” you huff, continuing to grind against him.

“oi, cut it out.”

his grip on your hips tighten in warning, and you gasp as he manhandles you easily. shifting you around so that the heel of your left foot digs into his thigh, the other secured at the edge of the leather wheel; he has your legs wide open. before you can even think about any stragglers catching you so vulnerable; iwa hooks his arm under your thigh, pads of his fingers brushing over your clothed pussy.

“haaaa~” you breathe out, hips jerking into his touch.

“fuck baby, your panties are soaked.” he continues to tease you over the drenched crotch of your panties. iwa rubs lazy circles, casually sliding under the material to play with your silk folds. his touches have you yearning for more, as you feel yourself slowly going insane as he starts to coat his fingers in your slick.

“mmm...touch me, haji...properly.”

wriggling around in his embrace, you keen once he pulls his hand away from you; holding his fingers before you, showing off how they glisten so prettily in under the moon. and then you watch over your shoulder as he leads his hand to his mouth, and licks his fingers clean.

“you taste so fucking sweet.” he’s quick to bring his fingers back to your drooling pussy, coating his fingers once again, but this time bringing them to your own lips. “here, have a taste for yourself.”

opening your mouth, iwa wastes no time pressing his long digits flat against your tongue. sucking on his fingers, you savour the saccharine essence of your pussy; moaning at your own flavour sending your tastebuds into overdrive. iwa hums, heated gaze taking in the way you take his fingers in your mouth; he slowly pulls them back out with a pop - smiling softly at the way you stare at him, all wide-eyed and wanton.

“should we get you out of these messy panties now, baby?”

at your eager nods, iwa presses a kiss to your shoulder as he has you lift your hips up; slipping your soaked panties off, and placing them on the passenger seat side the two of you. sitting you back down against him, he hooks both arms around the undersides of your thighs, grabbing at your soft flesh and spreading you wide open for him. you whimper when a big hand cups your sex, rough palm brushing against your throbbing clit.

“shh.” iwa coos, entranced with how you’re rolling your hips to grind against his hand. “i got you.”

he presses his thumb against your clit, circling the sensitive bud peaking past your puffy lips; as his middle finger teases your slit. slowly he pushes his finger inside you, a heavy, relieved moan escapes your throat, as he easily slides in and out of you. through heavy lidded eyes you watch as fog clouds the windows of iwa’s truck, the glass steamy; while perspiration collects between your bodies. you’re brought back to focus on iwa, when he teases a second finger against your slit, dipping inside you and stretching you out even more. hissing, you clench around him; the lewd squelches as he fucks you with his thick fingers, has you digging your heels into his thigh and the steering wheel.

the way iwa’s fingers reaches deeper inside than you could ever on your own, and the added stimulation to your clit, has the tightening coil in your belly snap as you cum all over his hand.

“oh baby, feels good doesn’t it?”

“yeshhh...h-haji, mmph-”

he doesn’t stop pumping you with his fingers, letting you ride out your orgasm to the end. even when you feel the high descend, twitching at the slight overstim, you expect him to stop. but all he does is bury his face in the crook between your shoulder and neck, dragging his teeth across the sensitive skin as the hand not occupied with your pussy, fondles your ass. you lean into him, mewling at his touches when your breath hitches at a new sensation.

“haji, no! it’s dirty!”

the hand at your ass had moved to pet at your puckered hole - completely drenched in your cum, he was sure he could slide a single finger in with ease. and he was right. the feeling of your tight hole being prodded, stretched by the tip of his forefinger, before sucking the entire digit inside - had you throwing your head back in pleasure.

“f-ah-uck! oh shit, nghhh!”

“you gonna cum again for me, baby?”

the feeling of both your ass and pussy being stuffed full of iwa’s fingers is overwhelming. you’re a panting and moaning mess, writhing on top of him. and when the back of your head is thrown back into iwa’s shoulder, all you can see is hazy stars in the sky as you stare up, completely intoxicated by the feeling of his fingers moving inside you - brushing against the thin barrier of skin between your two holes. the familiar pressure in your tummy has you bucking your hips and crying out.

“you’re squeezing my fingers so tight.” he maintains the same steady pace, fucking his fingers into you nice and deep, while working your sensitive clit. its only a few seconds later he hits a particular spot that has you jolting forward, crying out at your sudden release. “shit, that’s right, i can feel you cumming all over my hands again, baby.”

you can barely think straight as your body trembles from the aftershocks of your second orgasm. still in a daze, iwa eases his fingers out of your twitching holes, and you groan at the empty feeling.

“you okay?” iwa asks, wrapping his arm around your waist. you nod, chest heaving as you attempt to steady your breathing. “you think you can cum one more time from my fingers-”

“no!” you grab at his wrists when he moves to play with you again. “i need you inside me, haji. please.”

whatever calm iwa had possessed while pleasuring you had vanished at your words. sticky hands lifted you up by your waist, turning you around to straddle him - while he slightly lowered the back of his seat. lip locked, your hands find themselves wrapped around the nape of his neck, while iwa’s hands grab at your body - stilling your wriggling form as he grinds up into you.

without breaking the kiss, you reach down and ease your fingers under the elastic waistband of his briefs; hand brushing against the tip of iwa’s cock. that earns you a muffled groan as he allows you to hover over him and slide the boxer briefs down his muscled thighs. your mouth salivates at the sight of his cock slapping against his toned stomach. he was easily the biggest you’d ever seen, with a thick vein on the underside, and a red, angry tip leaking pre-cum.

“fuck, you’re so big haji.”

he hisses when your hand touches him, you can barely wrap your fingers around him; and you start to question if he could even fit inside you. iwa notices the slight hesitation in your movements.

“we don’t have to.” he reassures, brushing the hair out of your lust filled eyes. “i can play with you some more, or i can eat you out in the back seat-”

“-haji.” you cut him off, stroke him before lining him at your dripping entrance, grinding the leaking tip across your slit. “i’ve wanted this for so long.” lowering yourself, you gasp at the delicious stretch of his tip entering you. “i’ve wanted you for so long. don’t hold back, give me everything.” and with that, you completely impale yourself on his cock.

“fuck, y/n, i can feel you clamping down on me- shit baby, you gotta move.”

lifting one leg at a time, you shift around off of your knees, steadying yourself on your tip toes; before grabbing onto iwa’s shoulders and starting to slowly ride him. his hands roam across your body freely, loving squeezes trailed in their path, as praise after praise is whispered out to you.

“you take my cock so well, fuck.”

your fingers dig into his shoulder blades as you quicken your pace. bouncing yourself faster on his fat cock, iwa’s attention is drawn to to the way your breasts move in front of him; massaging the soft flesh, and then leaning forward to smush his face between them.

“could stay right here forever.” his muffled voice croons. 

you whimper at the feeling of his hot tongue dragging a wet trail down the valley between your breasts, and you’re certain plum love bites will have bloomed across your chest by sunrise. your arms shoot up to press against the foggy glass of the moon roof above you, palms pressed flat against the steamy window, handprints painted on the transparent screen - as you bounce harder and faster. the lewd sound of your ass slapping against his thighs and of your pussy sucking him in with each stroke; shows how desperate you are to cum again.

“you’ll cum on my cock, won’t you baby? i can feel how close you are, shit, you’re so close aren’t you?”

the way you ride him gradually becomes sloppier the closer you are to cumming, so when he holds your waist and helps you bounce on him, you cry out in relief.

“f-fuck, feels s’g-good, haji! nghh, yes, yes, yes-!”

only as he reaches a hand down to roll your sensitive clit between his index and thumb, do you fall apart on his cock. your velvety walls spasm around him as he continues to fuck you through your high in chase of his own, overstimming you even more as you cream all over him, tongue lolling out. the sheer intensity of your orgasm has you collapsing forward onto his heaving chest, a babbling mess, while he holds you to him.

“you made such a mess on me, baby.” he huffs out.

“h-haji.” you whimper into his neck, arms looped around his. “s’too sensitive, haaa~”

your knees are by his hips, the tops of your feet pressed against his inner thighs, as he rolls his hips into you. large hands slide down your spine, over the curve of your ass to knead the smooth flesh in his palms.

“just hold on to me baby. you got one last one for me, don’t you?” all you can do is nod, releasing an onslaught of mewls and moans. “that’s a good girl, fuck.”

iwa is relentless in pursuit of his own orgasm - fucking into you at a punishing pace that has your mouth jar open in a silent cry, his truck jolting with each snap of his hips. your juices completely drench his cock, allowing him to slide in and out of you with ease, and you’re sure by now your pussy has been shaped out by the imprint of his cock. you can feel him throbbing inside of you, close to his climax; while his fingers dig into your ass shoving you down on his cock, and hitting your sweet spot over and over that you can’t help but gush all over him yet again.

“h-ah-ji, hnghh!” you sob, your body spent and thighs slick with your cum.

iwa only lasts a little longer with the way you were clenching down on him; pulling out of your fucked out pussy, and setting you on his thighs. he fists his cock in his hand, jerking himself a few times before thick, white cum spurts out - coating his entire hand and painting his stomach.

“mmm baby, that was fucking amazing.” he growls out, leaning back into the seat to catch his breath. “d’you feel okay?”

you only hum, entranced by how much cum he spilled. or wasted, you thought to yourself.

“can you reach over to the back and grab the towel in my gym bag, gotta clean us up…” your lack of focus has iwa trailing off. “y/n?”

“we don’t need the towel.”

reaching for the hand covered in his seed, you bring it to your mouth. iwa tries to question what you meant by that, though he’s cut off when you lick a tentative strip across his palm. gathering his cum on your tongue, you swirl his essence around in your mouth, before swallowing. you make a show of taking each finger in your mouth, sucking his cum clean. once his hand is licked clean, you slide down his lap; ready to do the same over his abs.

“you’re so good to me, y/n.” iwa runs his fingers through your hair, and then pats your head. “y/n?” he calls out again, still petting your head just as your about to trace the dips of his stomach with your tongue.

“hmm?”

“y/n? y/n?”

you move back away from him. “what?”

“y/n? oi, y/n? wake up!”

iwa watches as you jolt up from where you had fallen asleep on his lap. makki, who had been hovering over you, moves away as you try to swat at him - a confused look on your face.

“huh?”

“you fell asleep.” makki informs her. “you were interrupting the movie. if you’re that tired, just sleep in one of our rooms.”

lazed out on the other couch, mattsun pipes up; “yeah, you were making these ugly noises and then iwa said you licked his hand, what a weirdo.”

he only clears his throat awkwardly, finding a sudden interest in the beige walls of their living room. he misses the horrified expression on your pretty face, scrunched up in utter embarrassment, before you turn to start arguing with mattsun.

iwa was grateful for the pillow resting over lap, hiding the evident hard-on he was sporting. he wanted to argue with mattsun too, because the sounds you made were definitely far from ugly.

© 2020 AIIWA. please do not copy, modify or repost my work.

#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu smut #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #oikawa tooru #matsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro #haikyuu fluff

[bioodorange]

||The Pastas At The Beach||

this was originally like an entirely different post but ehhh this ways better!

disclaimer Im setting this like, at a beach with a boardwalk and such next too it? Public beach, small time vacationing!

and that they conviently like..pass as human

I hope you guys enjoy!! remember too check out my announcement board!

taglist: @frozensriracha @creepy-bi-day @capricornartistsstuff @krayolacolor

Jeff the Killer

Jeff doesn't really do much at the beach

The salt water irritates his skin and he burns easily, doesn't want too deal with it

Spends most of his time asleep

Hogs all the damn towels by sprawling out all over all of them

Gets sand over everything that they brought with them

Forgets how wind works and it gets everywhere

When its time for some of em too go get food, he always fucking goes

Wants too walk around and do something, and maybe not get blamed for all the fucking sand when everyone sits back down

He wears one of those like protective long sleeved shirts? and red swim trunks that are just somewhat obnoxiously bright

While getting the food he has a brilliant idea

Befriends the fucking seagulls

Lures them back too their umbrellas and just vibes with his bird army

atleast he's not alone anymore?

Ben Drowned

first off I know like he doesn't go swimming

but imagine if he did

his fucking goggles get filled up with blood

gets weird ass tan lines from the blood on his face like, when he's not swimming

has too wear the goggles when he puts on sunscreen-

ok ok thats it

fucker wears like mountain dew swim trunks

and those arm floatie things despite not going anywhere near the water

He tries too sit around Jeff but that gets boring fast-

Just walks the fuck off without telling anyone, on a journey for adventure

Will spend literal hours sitting underneath the boardwalk until someone finds him

After that they get him like one of thise beach toy kit things

Sally's nice enough too fill the bucket with water too, so they can make sand castles and stuff

She walks along the shore line with him, gets pretty shells too

Also if Ben were too go in the water

He's a fucking shark magnet with all that blood-

But don't tell him that, he won't come back too the beach

Ticci Toby

Toby is very excited too go to the beach

He didn't get out much as a kid

Siked as hell too get in the water

Drops his stuff off as soon as possible and runs right into the water

And thats when he realizes he can't fucking swim

Awkwardly flaps his arms around until a wave moves him along too back where he can stand

Everyones kinda confused when he comes back like "?? You were so excited, what happened?"

"I can't swim :(("

Cody volunteers to teach him right away, like the great brother he is

The thing is Cody is a horrible fucking teacher

Another few minutes of Toby getting owned by some waves and Cody just screaming stuff like

"Use your arms Toby- no not like that how I showed you- no I'm not going too help how are you supposed to learn-"

That's when Kate drags him back too shore and Doby and Brian teach him instead

In a bit he learns and ends up having a lot of fun

I feel like Toby would really like boogie boarding?

A lot easier then surfing but still a good time

Also they have too tie a red scarf around his arm so they don't loose his ass in a crowd, or in the water

Third Base

so far, Doby's the only one on this list who actually came prepared

I feel like he'd use one of those face lotions that has SPF 30 in it already?

Smart enough so he doesn't have too smear sun screen around his face, can just use the spray stuff and get going

Also has shoes and sunglasses too go with each like swimsuit/outfit he brings

Mans is put together

Really likes collecting shells and stuff

Walks with Sally, shows her how too find them

Wakes up kinda early as it is? So its easy for him too go too the beach early and find the shells before the tide pulls them back out

It's one of his favorite times, actually

The suns just rising, a few shops are opening, only a handful of people are on the beach

Does it everyday as his "alone time" before everyone else wakes up

Spends most of his time with everyone kinda relaxing?

I can see him really liking those beach volleyball games

Or just playing frizbee in the shallow water!

Really, really enjoys making sand castles

Builds a moat and everything so it stays up when the waves start coming closer

X-Virus

Cody, another kid who never got much beach expierence

But acts like he did

Buys one of those waterproof, phone lanyard things

Forgets too fucking close it properly

Doesn't have the first idea of what seagulls are like

"Oh come on buys its fine-" gets fucking owned for his cheesestick

Lowkey scared of them after that

Refuses too eat on the beach after that

Sits with ben under the board walk and curls around his chips

Spends most of his time in the water

Wants too see how far he can go before the lifegaurd calls him back

Finds it funny as shit too just slowly go deeper while grinning at them

Until a wave slaps him in the back of the head

And then he gets scared of the deepwater too

After he looses Swimming Coach privellages gets really fucking salty and sulks on the beach

Kate takes pity on him and walks around the boardwalk with him

But he also didn't know you have too reapply sunscreen after you go swimming

Gets really really bad sunburn

Jeff, Ben and Toby take turns slapping it whenever he gets too cocky

Masky

This is gonna be a Dad Tim one, fight me

Really has no idea what the fuck is going on, but still manages too keep everyone together?

Tells the same story, atleast twice a day, about the killer wave that almost took his shorts off

Gets in fights with seagulls whenever they get realitively close too the group

Also buys one of those crappy beach wagon things too put their stuff in

Buys a mug and cheesy beer koozie

Doesn't enjoy the beach that much but gets excited too go?

Ends up sitting down for most of the time unless he gets dragged on walks

Might just kinda walk until the water is at his knees and just kinda stand there, and nod a little

Giving mother nature his approval

He takes Sally out and holds onto her stomach, lifts her up over the waves whenever they come

Asks her what she can see, before he drops her back down

Tries it with Ben, gets kicked in the gut-

Favorite time is when it's dark and they go

Not for a long time, just a few minutes too walk along the shore before it gets dark

Hoodie

Designated photographer

Is supposed too be taking photos but mostly gets footage of the stupid shit that happens

Like Jeff not being able too figure out the dishwasher or Clockwork wrestling with her dresser where only half the drawers worked

Just kinda sits back and watches things go up in flames

He's the designated like playlist guy too? On the drive over, whenever he got bored just

"Hey what song should I play?"

And watches chaos ensue

His vacation is watching everyone else have a bad time

Makes up for it though, saves them a shit ton of money by making dinner every night.

I feel like he genuinely enjoys late nights on the beach, like Tim

Gets some beautiful photos of the water, and people taking walks that he's pretty damn proud of

Maybe once or twice he'll join Doby for a walk too get pictures of the rising sun

Likes getting small things from the gift shops

Shark teeth, maybe a cheesy snowglobe

Something silly but nice too remember the trip by

Eyeless Jack

first things first, ya know those double-lens glasses? Like you flip up the sunglass part and theres normal lenses underneath? Someone gave him those

But their are crappy eyes painted on the normal lenses

He's very confused but its just ridiculous enough for him too like

The beach isn't his favorite place, I HC him as nocturnal and most things are open during the day

He takes too the rides and crappy carnival games that are open late at night

He can't see everything super well but makes up fun things for himself

Enjoys going on rollercoasters that he has no idea what the hell the drops look like

Fucking hates bumper cars

Can't tell where everyone's coming from or when

More nerve racking then fun

Whenever they go to the beach beach he just kind of chills

Akwardly curls up on a towel because he's big as shit

Where ever they stay he walks around, uses his echo location shit too find out all its quirks

"This walls more hallow then that one- those support beams in the lobby are doing a very shitty job of keep things together"

Loves sitting out on the balcony and just smelling the salt air, listening too people laughing and the ocean waves

Just the small details a lot of people miss

#Jeff the killer #jeff the killer headcanons #ben drowned #ben drowned heacanons #ticci toby #ticci toby headcanons #third base #third base head canons #doby doggers #x virus #x virus headcanons #masky #masky headcanons #hoddie #hoodie #hoodie headcanons #eyeless jack #eyeless jack headcanons #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #slenderverse #slenderverse headcanons

[lambourngb]

a skeleton of something more [malex wip]

Inspired by the promo/trailer for season 3. Spoilers and speculation ahead. 

A tumblr work-in-progress

Pairing: Michael/Alex, Alex/Forrest

Summary: Alex goes undercover to seek out Deep Sky. Starts mid-2x13.

Alex leaned his back against the solid wood of his front door, letting the heavy oak take up his weight. He kept making the standard uneven bargain with his body, of giving just a little more, going through the motions for a little longer, and then it would be over. But the tally sheet his body held was long, overflowing with so many unfulfilled promises that it seemed ever more likely he would end this journey in the red. 

If it ever ended.

At least, tonight, he had haggled wisely for some space to breathe. On the other side of the door, he had managed to escape Forrest’s hopeful and not subtle attempts to follow him inside, toward the bedroom for a long-awaited reunion. A reunion that Alex had deftly avoided without a trace of guilt. He had used the bland excuse of fatigue from a long, cramped ride from Holloman Air Force Base to Roswell on a bus that had predated the ADA by a good thirty years. It was transparent but still true, written on every line of pain in his smile as he had said “Not tonight.” that even Forrest could read it, even if only Alex knew the real source of his fatigue. 

He waited several long moments, before turning to look out the peephole to watch Forrest’s Prius silently reverse out of his driveway. Exhaling out long and low, the tension he had started carrying a little more than a year ago slipped away, letting the calm certainty of safety of his house slip down his body as he released the facade. 

Alex was almost done with this assignment, he reminded himself, as he rubbed the back of his hand against his mouth, scrubbing away the taste of Forrest Long from earlier. 

Just a little while longer, and he will have enough good will built up to finally meet the leader of Deep Sky face-to-face, after all who could resist the request of a senior member, especially one with the last name of Long? It had been a lucky find that Alex had made in cleaning out his father’s house after his death, a ring and an old photo of the members. In washed out Kodak colors was the cabal of Deep Sky. Former military men with names Alex had memorized off the salvaged hard drives from the Caulfield prison. Linked not by overlapping time on the alien project, but what had become of their careers after their military service had ended. All of them vowing to carry on the protection of Earth against an alien threat, but without the oversight of the government. 

The photo in his dad’s desk had been expected, but the silver ring? He had remembered clutching it, his hands still sore from tearing down the shed with Michael, and feeling the imprint of the symbol press deep into his skin. Searing across what Mimi had called his long-love line, singular and deep on his palm. Searing even deeper inside with the recognition that the symbol matched the ring Forrest Long wore.

The genial historian with the loose-fitting cardigan and blue-streaked hair, who had shown flattering interest in Alex, had worn the same ring. Easy on his hand, flashing in the bright sunlight when he had eagerly met up with Alex at the paintball fields with sharpshooter skills. After that date had crashed and burned thanks to a mishmash of his father’s voice and the feeling he had whenever he thought about kissing someone, not Michael, well, Alex had figured that would be the last he would see of the man. 

It hadn’t been. 

Suddenly, Forrest was everywhere he was, the Crashdown, the Wild Pony. It should have been suspicious to Alex, after months of sharing the same town with the other man without a single encounter. His heart was still bounding uselessly after Michael, while his hands had been full of his suddenly feeble father, and he had missed the snare of the trap. Not just the one his father had laid. Then after his kidnapping, two things had become clear to Alex, his father would never change from the hateful man he was, and Alex’s heart would never change when it came to his feelings for Michael.

Alex pushed his leaden body away from the door, tottering on his feet for a moment before the new prosthesis shored up his balance and he took a deep breath for the strength to move forward.

Fuck. That was a mistake. 

His house smelled like rain. Michael. The unexpected consequence of having Michael watch over his house while he had moved around the country, playing up the role of the grieving scion of the Manes family legacy. After a year of brief trips back to Roswell and long stints on the road, the house now smelled like Michael. 

Alex sucked in greedy gulps of air, chasing the taste of green and petrichor with his tongue to wash away his previous actions at the bus stop. His security system, his reinforced door and window locks, the weight of his gun still tucked in his back holster, none of it made him feel as safe as the smell of Michael in his home. It was the smallest crumb of promise, but it filled him.

Moving toward the kitchen for a drink, he clocked the changes Michael had made in his absence. His heavier luggage, shipped ahead of him, was already stored, including the set of crutches and the charging station for his back-up prosthesis. The lights in the kitchen came on with a single touch, all of them bright. Dammit, Michael had fixed the two burnt out bulbs, along with the slightly weeping fitting on the sink faucet.

There was zero sign of neglect in his house, no matter where he looked. Not even the faintest trace of dust on his guitars. The house looked warm and well tended. Loved. 

The rush of tears welled in his throat, an impossibly large lump, as Alex fought to keep from breaking down. Don’t fucking cry, don’t do it, that’s for at night, he swore creatively at himself. Tears were only allowed under the cover of dark, in hotel rooms or visiting officer quarters, not in the middle of his brightly lit kitchen.

A knock sounded on the front door.

Abruptly, every drop of tortured longing was gone, as Alex straightened his shoulders and crossed the threshold back to the door. He pasted the right amount of faked aspiration mixed with real annoyance on his face as he yanked the door open, expecting to see Forrest back on his step with a weak excuse concocted to overcome the earlier rebuff.

Michael looked up in the porch light, his black hat in hand and his curls wild with nervous raking. “Uh, hi.” He scuffed his boots against the concrete before growing still under Alex’s gaze.

He looked over Michael’s shoulder nervously, for the distinctive truck that everyone in town knew belonged to Michael, but his driveway was empty.

“I parked a few streets over. I don’t think anyone saw me-” Michael’s explanation was cut off short as Alex grabbed his wrist and yanked him inside. Stumbling from Alex’s strong grip, Michael fell forward, and then back as the front door slammed shut with them both safely inside out of view. His mouth was still open in surprise as Alex covered his lips in a kiss. 

The surprise was short-lived. Michael came alive under the kiss, opening and yielding to Alex’s hungry lips and tongue. Alex brought his hands up into Michael’s curls, cupping his head protectively as he pressed Michael firmly against the door, drinking in every sound Michael was making. 

Hours before, he had kissed Forrest at the bus station, playing up the role of a dutiful boyfriend returning home. It was the tariff he paid with his body to get closer to the roots of Deep Sky, but this, feeling Michael whole and safe under his hands, tasting him now, that was sustenance. Lifeblood. There was an evolution of difference between the two, like comparing simple bacteria wiggling toward complexity and the finished product of a man, standing upright. 

It was both a reminder of why he was doing this and a reinstatement of focus, as he slowly broke the kiss with reluctance. Michael chased at his lips, his mouth red and wet, his eyes dark with want. He could feel the heat coming off of Michael’s thin brown shirt, his hands itched to pull it off, to descend back into the physical, but Alex knew that he owed Michael an explanation for earlier.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t know he was going to be there to meet my bus. I thought it would be okay for you to give me a ride,” Alex explained quietly, as he ran his hands from Michael’s neck down to his fingertips, drinking in all the changes that had happened while he was gone. Michael looked thinner to him, as if he wasn’t eating enough despite the healthy amount of work and money. “I guess he wanted to surprise me and thought it would be romantic.” 

Michael made a face at the idea of surprises ever being considered romantic, especially to Alex. He turned sweetly toward Alex’s palm, kissing the center as Alex pushed a stubborn curl out of his eyes. “Are you sure that’s all it was? He wasn’t testing you, was he?” 

“I don’t think so.” Alex couldn’t pull his hands away from Michael, and leaned in to kiss him again. It started soft and shallow, trading breaths with Michael, lips against lips, licking deep into his mouth as his previous weariness disappeared now that Michael was here. “He saw you watching us. Now that I’m back, he’s worried about losing my attention to you. He hasn’t hidden his jealousy that I asked you to watch my house last year.” 

“Did I look sufficiently broken-hearted?” The question was light, but Alex could hear the grain of truth under it.

“You did.” Alex closed his eyes, the guilt of the situation flooded back inside. The statue of his father looking down on him didn’t make him feel nearly as sick as having Michael’s eyes on him as he let Forrest kiss him in front of the town in a cinematic homecoming moment. It was a cruel reminder to Alex that he had never been able to give Michael that, a public welcome that spelled out who they were to each other, not once in ten plus years of deployments and duty station assignments. Trading a glance across the Wild Pony was as close as they came. “I wish it wasn’t like this, sneaking around, pretending-”

“Hey, I agreed to this, right at the very beginning when I was your only back-up. Remember?” 

“We were just friends back then, you couldn’t have known that things would end up like this.”

Michael laughed, his head tilted back against the door, casting an attractive line of his throat to his collarbone. “We’ve never been just friends, Alex, but I knew what I was signing up for when you told me what you planned to do to smoke out Deep Sky. We’re in this together.”

*** to be continued... here

#malex fic #malex wip #season 3 spoilers #isn't everyone writing a trailer fic? #rnm #not forrest long friendly

[rivers-rambles21]

The one with the surprise

Part 5 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Summary | Reader and Bucky become friends after he saves her from  a creep in their apartment building. Each chapter explores a different  point in their friendship - very slow burn!

Warnings | 18+ only, Smut in later chapters (this is a slow burn), swearing, unprotected sex, oral sex, cockwarming (later chapters)

Will include elements of TFATWS in later chapters

Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

“C’mon, where are you taking me doll?”

Bucky trailed behind you, his feet dragging as he continued to moan about your late night adventure. You’d lured him out with a promise of pizza but as you exited the train in Queens, his mood had turned sour. 

“Not much further, I promise” You waited for him to catch up and looped your arm through his. “Have I ever steered you wrong?” 

“Pineapple on pizza comes to mind” He muttered, eyes darting around the quiet street.

With a sigh you dug into your purse and retrieved your secret weapon “I’ll give you these if you stop whining” You shook the bag of cashews you’d picked up from the store in front of his face before swiftly moving it from his grasp. “Nope! Hey!” Bucky had made a grab for the bag but you’d quickly anticipated his move and spun on the spot, taking it out of reach. 

As you turned, Bucky’s arm moved with you, pulling him into your back as you bent over in an attempt to stop him from getting his snack.

You laughed as he snaked his arm around your side, pulling you flush against him as he tried to take the bag from you, his fingers brushing your sides in an attempt to tickle you. 

With a jolt, your ass pressed back into him in a vain attempt to free yourself from his grasp. You both stilled as your behind pressed into his crotch, acutely aware of just what you were feeling. Bucky was the first to act and swiftly removed his arms from around you, glancing around in embarrassment. 

Standing straight, you adjusted your dress which had become dislodged. “Shall we?” You asked, trying to act as though nothing happened. 

“Yep.” He responded, a bit too quickly. 

To try and ease the tension, you ripped open the bag of nuts. “Here” You threw one toward him which he caught with his mouth effortlessly. “Thanks doll” 

You smiled back and looped your arm back into his, directing him down the road. 

A few minutes later you arrived at your destination and you held your breath as you both looked up at the building. 

“What do you think?” 

Bucky simply glanced down and smiled at you, his white teeth catching the light from the street lights. 

“This is one of the very few perks I get with my job, I figured who better to enjoy it with?”

“How do we get in?” Bucky asked, pulling you towards the doors at the front. 

“Security will let us in, they’ll be doing the odd patrol as standard but apart from that, we’ll have the place to ourselves” 

“Y/n… this is incredible” 

“Yeah well… I knew you wouldn’t come here because of the crowds and I didn’t want you to miss out.”

You’d brought him to the New York Hall of Science in Queens way past closing time. After dedicating to a ridiculous amount of unpaid overtime, your boss had finally relented and given you access to the contacts who ran the museum. Using your company's connections, you’d manage to swindle full exclusive access to the museum for the entire night. 

Over the past few months you’d picked up on Bucky’s interests, one of them being technology. Despite spending most of the last 70 years in a big freezer, he loved technology of the modern age, often speaking of the projects Shuri was working on in Wakanda.

You spent the next hour or so strolling around the many exhibits, reading up on each subject and interacting with the activities throughout the building. Bucky didn’t know where to look next, each section of the museum peaking his interest more and more. 

“Okay so I may have one more surprise for you” You confessed as you gently steered him towards the theatre.

Bucky remained silent as he felt himself become overwhelmed. He was genuinely touched by the thought you’d put into the entire evening, slightly bewildered why you even bothered with him in the first place. He knew he could be hard work, he often spent days being a miserable bastard, responding with only sarcasm. Yet you stuck around and got to know him and his quirks. Heck the two of you had gotten that close you knew how he’d been eager to pay a visit to the museum but hadn’t due to the worry of being recognised.

He’d now stopped kidding himself and accepted he felt something more than friendship for you. At first he brushed his feelings off as purely physical as afterall it had been over 70 years since he’d been with a woman and he’s not blind. Everything you did drove him insane. It took all his self control to stop himself from kissing you senseless every time you hung out. 

The closer you both got, the deeper he fell for you. He tried his best to find fault with you but he came up short every time. 

He loved how easy you were to talk to, how you never pushed him too far or tried to change him into something he’s not. He loved how selfless you were, always thinking of others before yourself. He also loved how thoughtful you were, constantly coming up with plans or ideas on what you both could do so he wasn’t cooped up in his apartment all day. 

Bucky had fallen hard.

“Now we do have other options if you’re not feeling it but I thought we could watch the original Dracula!” 

Bucky couldn’t hold back his smile as you looked up at him with excitement etched across your face. All he wanted to do was kiss you. 

“So what do you think?” You asked, waiting for his response. 

“I think you’re incredible.” You beamed up at him and led him into the quiet theatre which was housed within the museum. 

“Grab a seat and I’ll be right back” 

Bucky nodded in response and picked one of the seats in the middle of the empty theatre, pulling his phone out as he did. He flicked through some of the pictures you had both taken throughout the evening, landing on the one of you both in the space exhibit. He’d bent down to your level for the photo to be taken, your arms not quite long enough to get you both in frame otherwise. You’d flashed a smile for the photo, leaning back into him, pressing your face against his as he did his best to pose for the photo. It had been a long time that he’d had a photo taken that wasn’t linked to a crime. Smiling to himself, he updated his settings and set it to his background. 

The lights then dimmed and the screen changed as the movie began. A moment later the door swung open and closed as you entered the theatre, your shoes stomping down the isles as you raced over to Bucky, eager to get there before the film started.

“I remember seeing this when it first came out.” Bucky confessed, a small smile gracing his face as he recalled the memory. “Me and Steve snuck in shortly after it started, we were too broke and young to get in on our own. He was so worried we’d get caught he spent the entire movie watching the door.” 

You laughed along with him, struggling to imagine the Captain America you’d seen on the news sneaking into a movie theatre. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out the blanket you had brought with you and covered you both in it, sinking into the warmth it gave as the movie began.

Although it was a horror, you both couldn't help but laugh at some of the scenes, special effects had come a long way since the 30’s. 

The evening had gone exactly as planned. You’d wanted to do something special for Bucky for a while, knowing he didn’t venture out much due to the large crowds making him a bit uneasy.

Your friends at work had teased you about it after they heard the hoops you had jumped through to pull the entire thing off; knowing you wouldn’t put in so much effort for someone you regarded as just a friend. 

You’d wanted your relationship with Bucky to develop into something more for a while now; you couldn’t deny the attraction you had with him and the bond that had developed. Deep down though, you knew he had a lot going on that he needed to work through and you didn’t want to get in the way of that. You heard his tortured screams on a night as the nightmares took a hold of him. You never brought it up but you saw how it affected him. The dark circles under his eyes were always a dead give away.

Although your body craved something more with him, you were content on leaving things how they were. You genuinely enjoyed spending time with him and wouldn’t risk losing it.

It was the early morning when you both left the museum, having thoroughly enjoyed yourselves. Due to the late hour you agreed on hailing a taxi and sat in comfortable silence on the journey home as you struggled to keep your eyes open. Begrudgingly you watched as Bucky paid the driver as you reached your apartment building and accepted his hand as he helped you out of the cab. 

“Thank you for tonight” 

“Don’t mention it” You replied as you entered the empty elevator, pressing the button for your floor. 

“The last person who did anything like that for me was Steve” He confessed as he rubbed the gold markings on his vibranium hand, not quite knowing what to do with himself.

“You’re making me blush Serg” The nickname slipped out without you realising and you glanced a peak over at the man beside you. 

He simply shook his head, grinning to himself as he followed you out of the elevator. 

#bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #ao3 #tfatws #fluff #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you

[heliotropehotch]

Wasteland, Baby - Hotch x fem!Reader

A/N: This is my first criminal minds fic I’m putting out! Im not really sure what this is but I was in need of more hotch fics i’m not gonna lie. tagging @writefasttalkevenfaster​ cause she let me ask her for ideas - also happy birthday Sabina!! This fic is kinda based on a mixture of wasteland, baby by hozier and separate ways by journey. Italics are flashbacks

Warnings: mentions of passed abusive relationship, kidnapping, torture, chained up, arguments, pining, cussing, mentions of sex

Words: 4134

Genre: Angst with fluffy ending

The bullpen of the BAU was quiet but bustling with the soft shuffling of papers and dull thuds of various coffee mugs meeting the hardwood desks. Aaron Hotchner slowly shuffled up the stairs to his office, sighing with the deeper aches of his body. His door shut behind him softly, feeling the weight of the long week catching up with him as his shoulders dropped. He looked over towards the clock on his desk before he trudged to his chair and sat down. 

Strauss had sent over details of a new team member coming to join the BAU for the indefinite future, but Hotch had yet to look over the information before now. Whoever they were, they were expected to arrive at any minute now. He sighed once again, running a calloused palm over his face, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose. A knock echoed through the room. “Come in,” his voice called out. 

“Uh,” Dave began. “The new one’s here. Garcia’s smothering her with questions.” He chuckled. 

Hotch gave a small smile. “Of course she is.” 

He grabbed the file off of his desk as he made his way to the door of his office. I should at least know their name, he thought, opening the manila folder as he stepped out of the door. 

- - New addition to Behavioral Analysis Unit: Y/N Y/L/N - -

His eyebrows furrowed before his eyes shot up to find the face he hadn’t seen in over a decade. In the flesh, there you were, smiling sweetly at Spencer as he prattled off facts about pathogens of hand shaking. Hotch felt the folder slide from his loose grip and land on the floor with scattered papers and the sharp sound of it hitting the floor. 

Your ears caught the sound, causing you to look around just as his eyes had. Hotch was staring at you, his eyebrows still furrowed with what looked like concern, his mouth slightly agape. 

You met his eyes, and gave a nervous and small grin, raising your hand up in a tentative wave. 

“Aaron, I have to go,” you mumbled, stuffing your clothes into a suitcase. “Y/N, what are you talking about?” Hotch’s panicked voice rang out. He reached for your wrist. “Will you please just tell me what’s going on?” You yanked your hand away from his grasp, taking a hesitant step away. 

“When were you going to tell me about Haley?” you asked softly, staring at your hands. His veins run cold. “Y/N-”

“Were you ever going to tell me?” You looked up at him with angry eyes. “Aaron, I know who she is to you. I know she’s all you’ve wanted since highschool. Was I even given a chance?”

“Y/N, I love you,” his shaky voice rang out as he took a step forward. 

“Don’t do that,” you shook your head, taking another step back, tears well past the point of being held back. “Don’t say it back to me now. You love her more. You always will. I just wish you could’ve told me instead of-”

Your voice choked, “Instead of sleeping with her. That would’ve hurt a lot less.”

“Y/N, please don’t go.” His own face wet with tears. She continues packing her things, with more intention. 

“And why shouldn’t I?” 

He stared at her silently, thinking of words, any words that would make you stay. He knew what they were, but his mouth couldn’t get them out. You had stopped to look at him now, heart hurting as the room fell silent. 

“Right,” you sighed, pulling the suitcase to your feet. “Go get her back Aaron, don’t lose her like you did me.” 

The door to his apartment clicked closed behind you. His hands wiped away his stray tears. 

“God, Hotchner. You’re such a fucking idiot,” as he picks up the photo of the both of you and throws it against the wall. The sound of breaking glass echoed through the space. 

Hotch looked down at his now empty hands and moved to pick up the folder before heading down the steps. He tried to shake the initial shock of seeing you again off but his mind couldn’t help but think, this is gonna hurt like a goddamn bitch. 

“Y/N,” his voice sounded more confident than he was. “It’s been a while.”

“It has,” you spoke out, voice somewhat cold and disconnected. “I look forward to working with you.”

Garcia spoke up, eyeing the tension between the two of you. “Well, Hotch, I was about to come get you with a new case. It’s local.”

“Okay, just head to the briefing room. Agent Y/L/N and I will be there in a second.” Garcia mock saluted as the rest of the team headed up the stairs. 

“Y/N-” Hotch began, but you didn’t give him a chance. 

“Sir,” your bitter voice spoke. “Working under your command will not be an issue for me. If it is an issue for you, I understand.”

“Of course, it’s not,” his voice is soft. “I just think we should eventually have a conversation. I haven’t had a chance to look over your file-”

“You haven’t?” you looked at him with fear. “Sir, there are some things you will read, but it will in no way affect the way I work. Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe we have a briefing.”

Hotch sighed, looking at the file in his hands. His brows scrunched up in confusion, before his natural frown took over his features. Whatever was in there could wait. 

He straightened his back, pushing his shoulders back before quickly walking into the briefing room. “Garcia, what have we got?”

She clicks the remote, herself going a bit rigid at the images on screen. “Starting two weeks ago, six women have gone missing from the DC area. Local police have recovered at least 4 of the bodies in local bodies of water. The victims have large bruises and impressions around their wrists and ankles.”

“Like chains?” You spoke up. “How long between the time the first victim was kidnapped and her estimated time of death?”

“Five days,” Garcia’s sad voice answered. “And it’s been the same with the other bodies. The last victims reported missing were both taken 3 days ago.”

“So we have two days to work with local police before we can expect there to be two more bodies,” Hotch said, sighing at the time limit. “Everyone grab your stuff and we’ll head to the precinct.” 

~~~~

The next day, all of their information gathering, all of their leads, all of their information came to a screeching halt when a woman, with bruises around her ankles and wrists stumbled into the precinct. Her dirt covered clothes and disheveled hair screamed for help as her weak knees fell to the ground. 

Derek ran over to her and kneeled. “Someone get a medic over here!” he shouted. 

Anna Sawyer, 32, a bartender at a local pub had freed herself from chains of the unsub. After walking for hours, she finally got the precinct where she could find someone, anyone to help her. 

“Morgan and Reid are on their way to the hospital to get information about her captor and where she escaped from,” Hotch clicked his cellphone off. 

“What about the other girl? Do we think she’s kept in a separate space?” Prentiss asked. 

“Possibly,” you sighed, making notes on a notepad. “We can’t rule out anything until the boys get answers back.”

“In the meantime,” Hotch huffed out. “Everyone go get some food and meet back in an hour.”

“Y/N,” Emily grabbed your attention. “Wanna go grab a bite with me and JJ? I know a local place with good coffee and sandwiches.” She smiled

“Yeah sure that sounds good!” Grabbing her notepad and cellphone before giving Hotch a brief glance and a curt nod and following them out the door.

Hotch continued to stare, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth and thinking back to the unread personnel file he had on his temporary desk. Dave moved into his line of sight, with a knowing smirk gracing his face. 

“So you gonna tell me what that’s about?” Aaron huffed, moving towards the desk. 

“I knew her in college,” he said, short and sweet. Dave rolled his eyes. 

“And just how well did you know her in college?”

“We were together,” he sighed, gaining a shocked looked on Rossi’s face. “For about a year when Haley and I were on a break.”

“Aaron,” he called for eye contact. “You left her for Haley didn’t you?”

“It’s not like I was given a choice. She found out that I-” he cut himself off, clearing his throat as guilt flooded his veins. “She found out. And she left.” 

“You didn’t go after her?” 

“I couldn’t, Dave,” he sighed, shaking his head. “It was Haley. Everyone just expected me to marry her and I had to become someone I wasn’t.” He looked at the file on his desk. 

“Y/N wasn’t like anyone else. She was good for me, I loved her with so much, but when I saw Haley after so long, I just fell back into the routine.”

Dave sighed, patting his shoulder. “Haley loved you, but you can love more than one person. It’s been almost 3 years since-”

“I know, Dave,” his fingers pressed into the bridge of his nose. “But I don’t know if I can handle losing her too. Although, it feels like I already have. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe you should start by seeing what she’s been up to for the last decade,” Dave pointed to the file. “And then you should talk to her.” Then he walked to the coffee machine.

Hotch let out a sharp exhale of air, sitting down. He stared at the file a few seconds more, before thumbing the folder open. 

~~~~

At the cafe with Emily and JJ, you felt yourself relaxing into the friendships that were to come. You laughed at a joke Emily made about some of the more intense cops you were working with. 

“Thank you guys,” you sighed, taking a sip of your coffee. “You’ve been so nice to me.”

“Of course, Y/N,” JJ smiled. “You’re a part of this team now.”

“Exactly,” Emily agreed. “I do have a question though.”

“Working with a bunch of profilers, I should’ve expected that,” you chuckled. “What do you wanna know?”

JJ and Emily shared a look. “How do you know Hotch?”

You cleared your throat. “We, uh, kinda dated in college,” you admitted with a scrunch of your face. 

“Really? I thought he was only with Haley,” JJ commented, softly with bitter and sad tones. You cringed slightly, knowing of her passing. 

“They were on a break for a while when we were still studying. But we didn’t last longer than maybe a year,” you smiled sadly. “Haley came back and I just didn’t want to compete with his highschool sweetheart. It would’ve been a lost battle.”

Emily smiled sadly. “You still love him don’t you.”

A cold chuckle escaped your mouth. “It’s impossible for me not to. I thought that I’d be fine, ya know working with him. But then he had to go at look at me with those stupid eyes.”

“Aaron!” Your voice laughed out, as his fingers dug into your sides. “Aar- stop!” you giggled out between breaths. Finally his relentless torture stopped, him chuckling at your wild hair and flushed cheeks. 

He leaned down to kiss you, pulling his weight on you and pressing you into the couch. His face cradled your cheeks. He leaned back with a sweet grin, you still pinned underneath him. Your fingers reached up to brush some of his hair out of his face. 

“I love you,” you smiled. His breath hitched, a brief amount of panic flickering in his chocolate eyes. Cradling his face, you continue, “You don’t have to say it back, I know you’re still-”

You sigh, searching his eyes. “I just had to let you know.” 

You try to break eye contact, but his hand brings your eyes back. Without saying a word, he leans down to kiss you again, with more fire, and hands drifting down to your waist to pull you closer to him. 

“You should talk to him,” JJ said, reaching for your hand and interrupting your recollection. “I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. Haley included.”

“You’re sweet JJ,” patting her hand. “I just don’t know if I can do that again. We’ve both been through so much in the last ten years.” 

A sad silence fell over the small table you had been seated at. “Sorry to be such a downer girls,” you chuckled, trying to alleviate the tension. “I’m gonna get another coffee.”

Standing in line you twiddled with your fingers, thinking about the words JJ had said. Aaron had been through so much, it wasn’t fair to want him again. But if he had been looking at you like that- 

“Excuse me,” a gravelly voice spoke up from behind you. “Don’t turn around.” You felt the barrel of a gun pressed into the slope of your lower back. 

“You’re going to come with me and get in my car,” he huffed into your ear. 

“And if I don’t?” you questioned. 

“Then I’m going to shoot the two women you came in with right here and right now between their pretty little eyes. 

“Okay,” your voice shook. “Just don’t hurt them.”

~~~

Aaron leaned back against the desk chair he was seated at, hands covering his face. The guilt that trembled through his body now had new reasons. He would give anything to not be around these people right now. His skin crawled with remorse.

“Aaron?” Rossi called out in question. “What’s in that file?” 

He quickly stood up and pressed the file to Dave’s chest, storming into the nearest room with a door. Rossi followed him, folder open, closing the door behind him. “He fucking hit her, Dave. Her choked her, he slapped her, he-”

Aaron was shaking now. “Hotch, you can’t blame yourself for this.”

“It was her ex!” he shouted. “The one before me! She went back to him because I couldn’t be who she needed and I couldn’t get past expectations well enough to tell her I loved her.”

“Aaron,” Dave spoke calmly. “This was years ago. He’s locked up, and she is as strong as ever. Have you seen the way she’s worked this case? It’s only been two days and she has the fire of any of us. She’s okay now.”

“If it wasn’t for me,” he breathed out, his hands trembling. “Then she wouldn’t have had to go through it in the first place.”

“There is absolutely nothing we can do about that now, Hotch,” his voice tried to sooth, but was interrupted by a phone call. 

“Yeah Prentiss,” he said. Aaron watched as his back straightened, shoulders tensing. “For how long?”

“Right,” his eyes, full of sorrow, reached Aaron’s. “I’ll tell him. Get back to the precinct as soon as you can.” Then he ended the phone call.

“Dave?” Aaron’s worried voice rang out. “Tell me what Dave?” 

“Aaron,” he sighed, looking down at his hands. “She’s gone, Aaron.” 

Hotch stumbled back, all air leaving his body. “He took Y/N.”

~~~~

“Alright what do we know?” Hotch asked sternly, walking into the conference room with the rest of the team. “How did he take her?”

“We were just talking about-” JJ coughed, interrupting Emily. “Things…. And she said she was going to get another cup of coffee. We didn’t see her for a while, so JJ and I started looking around the cafe when we saw her outside being forced into a dark van. By the time we got outside she was gone. I’m sorry, Hotch-” 

“Reid, what did you get from Anna?” Hotch moved on, voice angry. Worried looks darted across the room. 

“It was a similar case, Anna was talking to her friends about trying to get over a guy who liked someone else, on her break and went to get a round of drinks,” he said. “When about 30 minutes went by and she hadn’t come back, her friends assumed she just went home. They didn’t realize she was missing until the next day. Anna said she remembers him holding a gun to her back and saying he would kill her friends if she didn’t go with him.”

“Wait,” JJ stopped. “I think I know how he’s choosing his victims. We need to contact all of the victim’s friends again and find out what they were talking about the night they went missing.”

She looked at the group with a sad, but nervous look. “They were all talking about men they were in love with but couldn’t have.” Hotch coughed as he choked on air. 

“Did Anna remember anything about where she was kept?” Hotch rushed out, urgency taking over. 

“She remembers that she was underground for the most part,” Morgan answered. “When we tried to get her to remember details, she remembers hearing the sounds of cars going over a bridge over water.” 

Emily called Garcia, putting her on speaker. “Garcia, we need you to cross-reference any receipts from the places the victims were last seen. Run any names you find against property with basements near water bridges. Get back to us when you have something.”

“You got it, my goddess divine,” She ended the call. 

“Hotch-” JJ started, but he was already sauntering out of the room. The team looked at each other. “What are we gonna do if we can’t-”

“Then we just have to figure out how to,” Rossi said. 

In the file room down the hall, Hotch was having trouble breathing. He clutched at his tie, ripping it off his neck. Fuck.

~~~~~

“Pet, I don’t know why you’re fighting me so much,” the man taunted as you struggled against the chain and shackles. 

“Maybe because you fucking kidnapped me,” you huffed. He clicked his tongue. 

“Wouldn’t you much rather be with me than a man who doesn’t love you?” He said, hand wrapping around your throat. “Isn’t this better than nothing?”

“Isn’t this better than nothing?” Lucas, your ex said, handing you an ice pack for the bruise blooming across your face. “At least, I love you. I picked you off the floor of your house after he broke your heart.” He wrapped his hand around your throat, your heart rate pulsing. “You could at least say thank you.” 

“Thank you, Lucas,” your voice shook. 

“You’re welcome, babydoll,” he said smugly. “Now go to our room, I need to get off.”

“Nothing is better than being with you,” you spit into his face. He chuckled darkly, wiping his face.

“Little bitch,” he muttered, before punching you in the stomach. “I’ll make you wish you had nothing.”

He walked over to a table nearby, picking up a long blade. You strained against the wall, trying to get away from him. “Normally, I’d wait a couple of days before starting with you. But your time’s a little short,” he chuckled. “I hope you don’t mind scars, my pet. I’ll start small.” He winked. 

The tip of the blade dragged across your chest, stinging with red marks as blood began to surface, before disappearing behind the buttons of your blouse. Your breathing picked up, causing him to chuckle again. “Don’t worry my pet, we’re not there yet.” 

“You motherfucker,” you hissed. “Is that what does it for you? Getting off with girls who would never even look your way?” 

His face became angry. “You women are stuck loving someone who could never love you back,” he hissed. “No one could ever love you back. I’m just here to end your misery.” He smiled wickedly, cutting deeping into your side of your stomach. 

“I get to mark you up with these, with my hands, making the pain stay with you,” he said, tracing your arm with the blade, a long angry line blossoming. “And then when I’m tired of you, I get to watch you die with your last vision being me.” He set down the blade, grabbing a set of brass knuckles. “I’ll make you feel this for weeks, my pet,” he taunted, before landing a hit on your jaw. “Not like you’ll live that long anyways.” 

“The pain I give you will be the only thing you think about until I get to kill you,” his fist landing on your stomach again making it hard to breath. Your vision became spotty and you found it hard to stay awake. 

“Aww poor thing. Too much to handle already?” he teased, holding your lolled head up to look him in the eyes. “Good thing I’m killing you soon, cause nobody’s gonna love you after this.” 

A loud crash came from upstairs. He dropped his grasp on your now sore jaw. “What the fuck,” he said, climbing up the steps. 

“Thomas Wayne! Come out with your hands up!” You heard Hotch’s voice echo from upstairs. You smiled to yourself. 

Aaron aimed the gun right at the head of the unsub, anger and fear vibrated through his body, his skin on fire. Even with the man’s hands in the air, he adjusted his grip, finger tensed to stop himself from shooting him anyways. 

“Aaron,” Rossi grabbed his attention, causing him to turn his head to make eye contact. “Go find her. I’ve got him.”

He quickly dropped his aim and holstered his gun before moving towards the basement door. Thundering of rushed feet resonated through the walls of the dark rooms. “Y/N!” he called out.

“Aaron,” you scratched out, barely audible to his ears. Quickly, he found you, rushing over to get the shackles off your wrists and ankles. You collapsed against his chest, huffing out a sob. His arms held you tightly, trying to avoid any visible wounds. You gasped, pain shooting through your ribs, but that didn’t matter to you right now. You focused on the hands soothing your back.

“Hey, shh,” he cooed. “It’s okay, Y/N, I’ve got you.” His own tears flowing over his face. 

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” you choked out. “I thought he was gonna-”

“I’m never gonna desert you, honey,” he pressed his face into your neck. “I’m so sorry. But he’s gone, okay? I’ve got you. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Aaron,” you started, knowing he knew. 

“Hey, it doesn’t matter,” he moved your hair out of your face. “It doesn’t matter cause I’ve got you.” 

~~~~ 

Soon after, you were moved to a hospital to get treated for the cuts and cracked ribs you suffered. Aaron hadn’t left your side the whole time, causing some issues for hospital staff but he really didn’t give to shits. Now as you slept, system full of pain meds, he sat resting his arms next to you, one hand tangled with yours. 

Slowly you woke up, looking around the room before your eyes landed on his. You released your hand from his and rested it on his head, combing through his hair like you used to in college. The sensations startled him into sitting up. 

“You’re awake,” he smiled, grabbing your hand again. 

“You’re still here,” you replied, only kind of surprised. 

“I told you, Y/N,” he said, sitting on your bed. “I’m not leaving you again.”

“Aaron-” you started, squeezing his hand. 

“I love you,” he rushed out, your eyes widening at his confession. “I always have. I lost you once before because I didn’t know how to say it to someone who needed so much more than I could offer. Reading your file-” his voice choked up. 

“So I’m not leaving again. And I’m not letting you leave again. Cause no matter how long I have you, no matter how long my love for you lasts, I’m gonna make sure I don’t fuck it up like I have before. You’re never going to have to go through anything without me by your side. Letting you walk out that door was my biggest mistake, and I’ve regretted not doing something for 10 years. And I’ll live everyday trying to make sure you never feel that way again.”

You sniffled, letting your heart open for the first time in years. Your knuckles were white from gripping his hand. “Aaron, I love you,” you laughed through your tears. His lips met yours slowly, giving you time and space to be comfortable against your healing injuries. His forehead rested against yours, smiles filled both of your faces. 

And suddenly, the end of the world didn’t seem as scary with him by your side. 

#criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #angsty #angst #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotchner x reader #thomas gibson #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #derek morgan #penelope garcia #aaron hotchner x you #david rossi #aaron hotchner slow burn