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#i tried to be organized but my thoughts weren't coming out super well
pbandjesse · 2 years
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I am so tired. But I am also just so happy to be home. This summer has been a ride and we're only a few weeks in. Goodness. My legs hurt. My torso hurts. My skin hurts. Let's hope the weekend heals me.
I had trouble last night because I was exhausted but then there was a giant beetle with giant antenna bumping into everything and it freaked me out really bad. So then I was full of nervous energy and so I ended up making a new trivia board for nature. And now I feel like I should make one for native cultures. We will see. I need more foam core board if I'm going to do that. But it was fun. I don't love it as much as I love the horse one but it was still fun.
And I would sleep a lot easier. I felt much cozier. I had trouble getting comfortable temperature wise but once I did I slept well. I would sleep slightly later. But that was alright.
I got dressed and felt very cute. My hair was much more moisturized and didn't look as frizzy. The back of my head was very itchy and my psoriasis is very bad from how humid and hot it was. But I was feeling very cute.
I had breakfast up in arts and crafts. And read, and finished, the book I started last night. It was a very interesting fictional journal of a boy in the Japanese internment camps. It was interesting. And weirdly timely with the former Japanese prime minister being assassinated?? I don't get all the news while at camp, but Tumblr keeps me at least somewhat aware.
I had great groups today. I was frustrated with the adults at times. But overall everyone was so sweet. And kids who had siblings that already came to me told me that their younger siblings told them I was the nicest art teacher and was super kind. And it just made me feel so good. And then older girls from earlier in the week came up to my building to tell me I was their favorite person and I was just. So grateful for their comments.
I did a little hand sewing. And did my knitting for the day. I worked on my popsicle stick house. And enjoyed watching the kids make their drawings. It was just really nice.
Some of the councilors even make some cute art today. There were lots of laughs. The CIT came again and we convinced her to come outside and sit with everyone. So that was a win even if she didn't interact with the kids. Which I tried very hard not to express how annoyed that made me. But she really didn't want to be at camp so I am not going to hold it against her.
Lunch was pretty good but it was a weird sandwich. They called it a millionaire's chicken sandwich. And it was basically a chicken patty with a cream cheese spread. The cream cheese has spring onions in it and the non vegetarian version has bacon bits? Everyone thought it was odd but I honestly really liked it. A fun texture.
My last two groups were fun. A day camp group who were very sweet. Though their councilor kept running down the hill to play frisbee and we (me and their co) had to tell on him because they weren't getting it. Like we kept telling them you can't just leave your group! And he's like they are just sitting there!! And we are like. It doesn't matter???? Ugh. Thankfully most of the councilors are great. But when it's bad it's bad.
The last group of the day was the oldest boys. They wanted to make bead bracelets and some helped me make pipe cleaner examples for next weeks projects. And they all did great and I enjoyed their company.
I had a few boys helping clean and organize for the big award thing. Service hours and such. So I didn't feel as overwhelmed at the end of the day.
CJ would come and sit with me. And I worked on sorting things. I had like a thousand small projects to do. But all I wanted to do was sit down.
I decided to take a little hammock break. But I don't know what happened but I fell asleep! I woke up at 5 and was very confused but it was a good thing I woke up when I did because Elizabeth was calling me.
I made a little sandwich and went to go help with directing traffic for pick up. I brought a soda and that perked me up. But then a parent drove over the can. And I was so sad. Most parents, or the adults who were picking up, were aware of what they were doing. But there was a surprisingly large percent of people who didn't know anything at all. Ages. Names. Locations. Nothing. It was wild. But I directed traffic and it was good. An old Greek man, someone's grandpa, tried to pick me up and that was very silly. It was very silly.
When I came back up to the office, after eating some berries I found, Emily told me she had something for me. That she felt really bad but she had stollen my sunglasses! I was like oh! Just thought I left them somewhere. But apparently the pirate secret society, much like Tubes, inducted her. And one of their tasks is to steal something from a person. And apparently I was her person but she felt so guilty so she made sure she gave them back and said she was sorry. That it was heavy on her heart. But I legit didn't even notice. She's very sweet.
We finished the day on the porch. Updates. Cabin assignments. I brought my birthday book and we read a few people's birthday charts and the birthday book I have really gets at your heart. Like I know they are mostly vague or whatever but for some reason it makes people feel very seen and it's always so sweet how people's eyes light up. I think it makes them feel special. And that is just really nice.
I was really excited to go home. So as soon as Alexi said it was okay I was out of there.
I had already packed the car. And I could just change my shoes and get out of there.
The drive home was a little tough only because I was tired. But I got back here in one piece. And brought my stuff inside.
And it was so good to see Sweetp and my James. They were in a video call and I got to say hi to their friends before they got off to hug on me.
And we had pizza coming. And James got me a new sweatshirt. And we had a little dinner. And played a little video games. And I took an amazing shower. James helped unpack my stuff. And had stuffed a bunch of new bears for me while I was gone. So I got those in the tote bag so I can sew them tomorrow. It has been a great night.
I am in bed with Sweetp kissing on me and James telling me about some wedding planning they have done. I love them very much. I am happy to be here.
I hope tomorrow is restful. I am planning on going to the market tomorrow. Fingers crossed I sell anything but it's also supposed to storm so I don't have high hopes. But it will be a nice morning still.
I hope you all sleep great. Take care of yourselves. Kiss your cats for me. Goodnight!
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cozfics · 4 months
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A Perfect Outing (Xion x Reader)
Request: So i took super long with the request and my inbox ate it... But it was basically asking for Xion with a GN reader and they live with the rest of the sea salt trio (Plus Isa).
Word count:1.8k
Pairing: Xion x GN reader(Romantic), Isa Lea and Roxas x reader (Platonic)
CW:a little talk about trauma
Notes:Wow, i am terrible at schedules. also unless asked otherwise the reader will always be GN AFAB because I myself am GN AFAB.
The alarm clock clattered unceremoniously to the floor. You groaned, pulling the blankets over your head to take a moment to mentally prepare yourself to get out of bed. It was a daily tradition. Well minus knocking the poor alarm clock to the floor. You really hoped it wasn’t broken. That would suck. Okay, okay enough stalling. If you take too much longer someone will come in to check on you and you have a 50/50 chance they’d be gentle when waking you up. You didn’t feel like having ice cubes shoved down your shirt again. Or yanked out of bed. You dramatically flung your blanket towards the foot of your bed and used the momentum to sit yourself up. You swung your feet over the side of the bed. You stood up and quickly got dressed and headed to go get breakfast.
At the table sat your girlfriend Xion, Lea, and Isa. You and Xion had confessed your feelings for each other last year. At least you weren't the last one awake. Breakfast today seemed to be omelets, hash browns, and gravy. It looked delicious. There was already a plate waiting for you on the table. So you settled into your spot and began to tear into the meal.
“Thank you, Isa, this is delicious!” You smiled at the grumpy adult.
“Hey!” Lea huffed. “How do you know Isa made them? What if I made them?”
“Then the house would be burnt down, wouldn’t it?” Roxas responded, walking over to his spot at the table next to you. His hair was still messed up from his sleep the night before, He still looked tired. And it didn’t surprise you. You had the middle room. Often nights you could hear Roxas up until the odd hours of the night. Or, on the odd occasion he fell asleep before you, you could sometimes hear him sleep talking through the wall. You couldn’t make out what he was saying, but you could guess what his nightmares were about.
Xion would play music when she couldn’t sleep. That’s how you knew she had a bad night. You guess that she thought if she hid the sounds of her breakdowns, then you wouldn’t know. But it was clear when she would emerge from her room, eyes puffy and face streaked with tears that she’d aggressively wiped away.
Isa would isolate on his bad days. There would be days you wouldn’t see him at all. The only one whom Isa would allow to see him was Lea. Lea told us it was because Isa felt guilty for how he treated us back then. Especially Xion. Finally, there was Lea, Lea tried to hide his bad days from us. He would act overly cheerful. Like he was scared to show us he was affected by the organization too. you mean you got it. We all tried to keep our scars hidden from each other. We all had issues from the organization.
You had bad days too. You’d stay in bed on those days. Bundled in blankets, away from the world.
You didn’t call attention to Roxas’s state. No one else did either. “So, I was thinking for our day out, we could go out in town later? Hit the bistro for lunch and maybe hit the movies? Me and Xion could go shopping while you guys do something else?” You recommended, It was a nice day, and that sounded like a fun way to decompress. And it seemed that everyone felt the same way. A chorus of agreements sounded out from around the table.
Roxas grinned. “Don’t think I don't realize you’re stalling our struggle tournament training.” He teased, tossing a light punch on your shoulder.
“Prove it.” You said, sticking your tongue out at him before turning your attention back towards eating your breakfast. Soon you were finished eating and you paused to look at the chore chart. Made by Isa, to make it ‘fair’. It was made all the way back when you had all moved in together. This week was your turn to do the dishes. So you gathered them all and washed them. Finally, you could go out to town and start your day.
Xion walked beside you, matching your steps while you chatted about anything and everything that came to mind. Your hand found its way into hers.
“So, wanna go shopping first? I think Roxas Is gonna hang out with Hayner and his friends. He’s pretty stocked up.” You asked, resting your head against her shoulder. “I could personally use some more tents. Never enough potions.”
Xion took a small moment to think the suggestion over. “Alright. We could also buy some snacks to take to the movies.”
“Shit. You’re a genius” You whispered, grinning widely. “Come on!” you tugged her along
Xion let out a squeak and laughed as you dragged her along to the first few shops. You two stopped in a few different shops. Some sold clothes with you and Xion showing off outfits, (Honestly, you felt Xion could pull off anything she wore. Damn you were down hard). Some sold candy and sweets, which you and Xion excitedly loaded up on for the movies, and for late-night snacking sessions. Others just sold the odd accessories that you and Xion showed off to each other, giggling about the price or absurdity of some of them.
You swung your and Xion's arms happily, humming and skipping. “Alright, ready to head on over to the movies? They should be starting the next one soon.” You asked Xion, resting your head on her shoulder.
“Yeah, sure. I’m sure that’d be a welcome break for our wallets.” She joked, pulling you slightly closer.
“You weren’t complaining when we were buying.” You shot back, moving up to kiss her cheek. You began to lead the way towards the movies. “You think the boys will be there yet?”
“Absolutely no clue. Though I'm guessing by now Isa will be craving an excuse to go somewhere he has an excuse to be quiet. So it’s incredibly possible”
The two of you continued on as a comfortable silence settled over you. Xion had begun to sway your hands back and forth. The sun warmed your backs. It was very peaceful. This was the best kind of day. Everyone was in a good mood and even the weather seemed to cooperate. The little corner the movie screen was hidden in was starting to come into view and you could easily make out the blue and red of your friends' hair. There was no getting lost in a crowd when their hair stood out like beacons amongst the mostly natural tones of twilight town. You and Xion let go of the other's hands and quickly jogged to catch up to the boys, waving to them.
Lea whipped around and grinned. “There they are. Hey Isa, found the two lovebirds!” He announced with a smirk, gesturing towards us.
The title definitely made you blush, and when you glanced at Xion you saw her cheeks sporting a similar red. “What movie are they playing?” You questioned.
“Looks like they’re gearing up for another Adventures of Mickey movie. I overheard them saying it should start in about 3 minutes. Didn’t think you were going to make it.” Roxas answered, head poking out from around the corner. “Come on guys. I already chose our spots.”
So with Roxas’s urging the four of you headed into the movie area. You crammed on a bench together, it was a tight fit but no one complained. The movie wasn’t one you had seen before, so it held the whole group's attention. And if you saw Xion tapping her toes in excitement or Roxas leaning forward in his seat, you’d never tell. Even Isa seemed interested in the movie, in his own ‘I show no emotions’ way. The movie wasn’t the best one you had seen, and it felt rather predictable, but man it was hard not to match the energy in the room.
When the movie finished the theater was filled with the sound of the projector shutting down and groups of people eagerly chatting about what they just watched and plans for after the movie. Your friend group was no different.
“So what was next?”
“Dinner at the bistro” Isa answered, standing up and stretching. A loud pop sounded from his back.
“Old man-” You quickly had to duck to dodge his swipe at you. You stuck your tongue out at him as the group started forward, spilling out of the tiny entrance. You headed towards the Bistro, listening in on the others' conversations. They were all basically talking about the upcoming struggle season. Who they thought would win, new strategies they’d like to try, and trash-talking each other in general. Though you had to try not to laugh at some of the trash talk Roxas was throwing at Isa. As if Roxas didn’t just barely reach Isa’s shoulders.
Nothing really noteworthy happened during dinner. You showed up, waited around for a minute then you were seated. You each ate in relative silence before heading home.
As you plopped on the couch and prepared to get settled in playing a game Roxas came up to you holding a struggle bat. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he was about to ask you. You stood up and stretched. Sure why not.
Roxas led you to the backyard, trying to be a show-off and toss his bat between his hands. You grinned and shook your head at him. You picked up your struggle bat.
It didn’t take long for you to get into it. You two knew each other incredibly well from your time in the organization. You'd swing at his legs and he’d already be in the air by the time you got near him. He’d aim for your chest and you’d have leapt back by then. You just knew each other's fighting style a little too well. It was a game of endurance at that point.
It took a solid hour and a half of no progress being made in either direction before you slipped up. All it took was an uneven patch of land and you were on your ass with Roxas’s bat smacking you in the shoulder. You yelped in surprise. “Alright, alright I’ll get you back next time.”
“Yeah, well next time better be later, cus it’s getting late” Roxas walked past, ruffling your hair as you rolled your eyes.
“You’re just saying that because you know you only won cus I fell!” You huffed, getting up to follow him inside. Xion was seated on the couch, playing Mario Kart. You plopped next to her.
“Can I play with?” You asked. Xion nodded and got you ready for the next round. You both played, winning some and losing some up until about midnight. Eventually, after a yawn that shook your whole being, you and Xion decided to go to bed. And you fell asleep easily, knowing they’d be waiting for you tomorrow.
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jcmorgenstern · 4 years
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@superohclair oh god okay please know these are all just incoherent ramblings so like, idk, please feel free to add on or ignore me if im just wildly off base but this is a bad summary of what ive been thinking about and also my first titans/batman meta?? (also, hi!)
okay so for the disclaimer round: I am not an actual cultural studies major, nor do I have an extensive background in looking at the police/military industrial complex in media. also my comics knowledge is pretty shaky and im a big noob(I recently got into titans, and before that was pretty ignorant of the dceu besides batman) so I’ll kind of focus in on the show and stuff im more familiar with and apologize in advance?. basically im just a semi-educated idiot with Opinions, anyone with more knowledge/expertise please jump in! this is literally just the bullshit I spat out incoherently off the top of my head. did i mention im a comics noob? because im a comics noob.
so on a general level, I think we can all agree that batman as a cultural force is somewhat on the conservative side, if not simply due to its age and commercial positioning in American culture. there are a lot of challenges and nuances to that and it’s definitely expanding and changing as DC tries to position itself in the way that will...make the most money, but all you have to do is take a gander through the different iterations of the stories in the comics and it’ll smack you in the fucking face. like compare the first iteration of Jason keeping kids out of drugs to the titans version and you’ve got to at least chuckle. at the end of the day, this is a story about a (white male) billionaire who fights crime.
to be fair, I’d argue the romanticization of the police isn’t as aggressive as it could be—they are most often presented as corrupt and incompetent. However, considering the main cop characters depicted like Jim Gordon, the guys in Gotham (it’s been a while since I saw it, sorry) are often the romanticized “good few” (and often or almost always white cis/het men), that’s on pretty shaky ground. I don’t have the background in the comics strong enough to make specific arguments, so I’ll cede the point to someone who does and disagrees, but having recently watched a show that deals excellently with police incompetence, racism, and brutality (7 Seconds on Netflix), I feel at the very least something is deeply missing. like, analysis of race wrt police brutality in any aspect at all whatsoever.
I think it can be compellingly read that batman does heavily play into the military/police industrial complex due to its takes on violence—just play the Arkham games for more than an hour and you’ll know what I mean. to be a little less vague, even though batman as a franchise valorizes “psychiatric treatment” and “nonviolence,” the entire game seems pretty aware it characterizes treatment as a madhouse and nonviolence as breaking someone’s back or neck magically without killing them because you’re a “good guy.” while it is definitely subversive that the franchise even considers these elements at all, they don’t always do a fantastic job living up to them.
and then when you consider the fetishization of tools of violence both in canon and in the fandom, it gets worse. same with prisons—if anything it dehumanizes people in prisons even more than like, cop shows in general, which is pretty impressive(ly bad). like there’s just no nuance afforded and arkham is generally glamorized. the fact that one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, I will admit, does not help. im not really sure how to mitigate that when, again, one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, but I think my point still stands. fuck you, killer croc. (im just kidding unfuck him or whatever)
not to take this on a Jason Todd tangent but I was thinking about it this afternoon and again when thinking about that cop scene again and in many ways he does serve as a challenge to both batman’s ideology as well as the ideology of the franchise in general. his depiction is always a bit of a sticking point and it’s always fascinating to me to see how any given adaptation handles it. like Jason’s “”street”” origin has become inseparable from his characterization as an angry, brash, violent kid, and that in itself reflects a whole host of cultural stereotypes that I might argue occasionally/often dip into racialized tropes (like just imagine if he wasn’t white, ok). red hood (a play on robin hood and the outlaws, as I just realized...today) is in my exposure/experience mostly depicted as a villain, but he challenges batman’s no-kill philosophy both on an ethical and practical level. every time the joker escapes he kills a whole score more of innocent people, let alone the other rogues—is it truly ethical to let him live or avoid killing him for the cost of one life and let others die?
moreover, batman’s ““blind”” faith in the justice system (prisons, publicly-funded asylum prisons, courts) is conveniently elided—the story usually ends when he drops bad guy of the day off at arkham or ties up the bad guys and lets the police come etc etc. part of this is obviously bc car chases are more cinematic than dry court procedurals, but there is an alternate universe where bruce wayne never becomes batman and instead advocates for the arkham warden to be replaced with someone competent and the system overhauled, or in programs encouraging a more diverse and educated police force, or even into social welfare programs. (I am vaguely aware this is sometimes/often part of canon, but I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s the main focus. and again, I get it’s not nearly as cinematic).
overall, I think the most frustrating thing about the batman franchise or at least what I’ve seen or read of it is that while it does attempt to deal with corruption and injustice at all levels of the criminal justice system/government, it does so either by treating it as “just how life is” or having Dick or Jim Gordon or whoever the fuckjust wipe it out by “eliminating the dirty cops,” completely ignoring the non-fantasy ways these problems are dealt with in real life. it just isn’t realistic. instead of putting restrictions on police violence or educating cops on how to use their weapons or putting work into eradicating the culture of racism and prejudice or god basically anything it’s just all cinematized into the “good few” triumphing over the bad...somehow. its always unsatisfying and ultimately feels like lip service to me, personally.
this also dovetails with the very frustrating way mental health/”insanity” or “madness” is dealt with in canon, very typical of mainstream fiction. like for example:“madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.” yikes, if by ‘push’ you mean significant life stressors, genetic load, and environemntal influences,  then sure. challenge any dudebro joker fanboy to explain exactly what combination of DSM disorders the joker has to explain his “””insanity””” and see what happens. (these are, in fact, my plans for this Friday evening. im a hit at parties).
anyway I do really want to wax poetic about that cop scene in 1x06 so im gonna do just that! honestly when I first saw that I immediately sat up like I’d sat on a fucking tack, my cultural studies senses were tingling. the whole “fuck batman” ethos of the show had already been interesting to me, esp in s1, when bruce was basically standing in for the baby boomers and dick being our millennial/GenX hero. I do think dick was explicitly intended to appeal to a millennial audience and embody the millennial ethos. By that logic, the tension between dick and Jason immediately struck me as allegorical (Jason constantly commenting on dick being old, outdated, using slang dick doesn’t understand and generally being full of youthful obnoxious fistbumping energy).
Even if subconsciously on the part of the writers, jason’s over-aggressive energy can be read as a commentary on genZ—seen by mainstream millennial/GenX audiences as taking things too far. Like, the cops in 1x06 could have been Nick Zucco’s hired men or idk pretty much anyone, yet they explicitly chose cops and even had Jason explain why he deliberately went after them for being cops so dick (cop) could judge him for it. his rationale? he was beaten up by cops on the street, so he’s returning the favor. he doesn’t have the focused “righteous” rage of batman or dick/nightwing towards valid targets, he just has rage at the world and specifically the system—framed here as unacceptable or fanatical. as if like, dressing up like a bat and punching people at night is, um, totally normal and uncontroversial.
on a slightly wider scope, the show seems to internally struggle with its own progressive ethos—on the one hand, they hire the wildly talented chellah man, but on the other hand they will likely kill him off soon. or they cast anna diop, drawing wrath from the loudly racist underbelly of fandom, but sideline her. perhaps it’s a genuine struggle, perhaps they simply don’t want to alienate the bigots in the fanbase, but the issue of cops stuck out to me when I was watching as an social issue where they explicitly came down on one side over the other. jason’s characterization is, I admit and appreciate, still nuanced, but I’d argue that’s literally just bc he’s a white guy and a fan favorite. cast an actor of color as Jason and see how fast fandom and the writer’s room turns on him.
anyway i don’t really have the place to speak about what an explicitly nonwhite!cop!dick grayson would look like, but I do think it would be a fascinating and exciting place to start in exploring and correcting the kind of vague and nebulous complaints i raise above. (edit: i should have made more clear, i mean in the show, which hasn’t dealt with dick’s heritage afaik). also, there’s something to be said about the cop vs detective thing but I don’t really have the brain juice or expertise to say it? anyway if you got this far i hope it was at least interesting and again pls jump in id love to hear other people’s takes!!
tldr i took two (2) cultural studies classes and have Opinions
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jungshookz · 3 years
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maybe, she can drive his car; mechanic!yoongi
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➺ pairing; mechanic!yoongi x spoiledbrat!y/n
➺ genre; mechanic!yoongiverse!! sfw!! honk honk humour!! some suggestive behaviour because this is mechanic!yoongi and his y/n we're talking about!! the green-eyed monster inside of y/n is awoken after being dormant for so long and she's ready to bite some heads off
➺ wordcount; 11.6k
➺ summary; yoongi's ex is back in town for a visit and you'd be lying if you said you weren't slightly envious of a) how knowledgeable she is about stupid cars and b) how well she gets along with literally everyone.
➺ what to expect; "right, about that- i know i was supposed to come over for dinner tonight but- listen, i don't know what lisa did but obviously she's got a lot of connections now and the shop has literally never been this busy before... you understand, don't you?"
➺ currently spinning on the record player; mustang sally (originally by wilson pickett, covered by andrew strong)
(unfortunately i wasn’t able to track down the original maker of this gif but this is where i sourced it from! all credits go to the original creator of course :-))
»»————- 🛠️ ————-««
namjoon usually doesn't pay too much attention to you whenever you're hanging out at the workshop with everyone because of how often you're here, but there's something about the way you're acting today that even he has to admit is oddly very...
cute?
and it's not that you're not cute all the time (because you totally are!!) but it's just that the version of you today in particular is suddenly making him want to go off and find a y/n of his own
"whatcha doing?"
namjoon jolts in surprise when a grimy hand suddenly burrows itself into the warm bag of freshly-popped popcorn that he has cradled to his chest and he scowls before turning his body away slightly
"hey, you're contaminating the popcorn, man-" he huffs, quickly grabbing the mega-sized pack of hand wipes from the desk before plopping it down on the countertop for jungkook, "at least have the decency to wipe your hands before digging into my popcorn- also, i'm watching. duh."
"watching?" jungkook frowns as he sloppily wipes his hands on the front of his shirt, turning to look out the open door, "watching what?"
"yoongi and y/n." namjoon hums, popping a couple of kernels into his mouth with a crunch, "she's been following him around like a little duckling all day."
"mm." jungkook props an elbow up on the counter as he looks towards the two of you before clicking his tongue, "...he must've really given it to her good last night if she's acting like that-"
"okay, now you've ruined the moment-" namjoon frowns, his shoulders dropping slightly before he gestures to you guys, "it's sweet! this is obviously a wholesome thing-"
"call it what you want, but all i'm trying to say is that good sex makes you do crazy things-" jungkook snorts before aggressively shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, "cravy phings."
"i'd like to argue that good sex forms a strong emotional bond which explains why there are cartoon hearts currently floating around y/n's head-" namjoon perks up when he notices the way your eyes light up at something yoongi says, "look at her! look at the way she's looking at him!"
"oh, please." jungkook tuts, "that dopey look on her face is telling me that the only thing on her mind is yoongi bending her over the hood of that car and just ramming-"
"namjoon and jungkook are arguing again." you point out, turning to look towards the office just in time to see namjoon throw a handful of popcorn at jungkook only for him to open his mouth and chomp wildly at the air to get some into his mouth
"jungkook probably said something stupid, as per usual." yoongi snorts, leaning over to lock the hood of the car into place before pulling away and taking a look at the situation, "now, let's see what we have going on here..."
when namjoon told him that this was a brake master cylinder repair he immediately felt all the excitement leave his body
he hates doing brake master cylinder repairs
all the parts are so small and the handiwork is super tedious anD the last time he did one of these he took like four hours to get it done
overall it's a pretty boring repair job and as much as he wants to pass it off to one of the others to do, he knows that he's the most skilled with the internal mechanics of a car compared to everyone else which he usually likes to brag about but today he wishes that that wasn't the case
"so what do you have to do?" you frown, stepping over so that you're standing by the side of the car and you're not in yoongi's way, "all the thingies look fine to me."
"well, i actually need to replace the brake master cylinder thingy." yoongi teases, smiling lightly as he points at some kind of container, "there's a leak in the seals, which is pretty common since they wear out after a few years. it should be an easy fix! it'll just take a while, that's all."
luckily, taehyung already took care of the messy part and emptied the fluid from the reservoir for him so now it's time to start the actual repair process
"so does beeper have one of these cylinders in him?" you ask, tilting your head in curiosity
you've never actually taken a look at beeper's under the hood situation before so you wouldn't know
(it feels like he's all naked and exposed whenever yoongi lifts his hood up and you just want to give beeper some privacy, that's all.)
"if beeper didn't have one of these cylinders in him, you wouldn't be able to brake, silly." yoongi snorts, reaching down to unclip the sensor from the reservoir, "see, when you push down on the brake, it pushes a piston through the cylinder and forces hydraulic fluid through the brake lines, which goes to the slave cylinders of each wheel, and then-" he pauses when he notices you've gone all quiet and he turns to see you staring directly at him with a dopey little smile on your face "-what? what'd i say?"
"i like it when you talk shop to me." you giggle quietly, "i mean, i don't understand 98% of the words that come out of your mouth when you do, but i still like it a lot-"
"yeah?" yoongi teases, taking a hand off the edge of the car so he can gesture for you to come closer (and you do, obviously), "you like it when i talk to you about... hm, i don't know..." he feigns cluelessness as he stands up to slink an arm around your waist and bring you towards him while your arms automatically hang loosely around his neck, "how the rubbing of the brake pad against the brake disc generates friction..." he lowers his voice as he sits lightly on the edge of the car and gives your hips a squeeze
"mm, tell me more..." you play along, letting yoongi pull you closer so that you're settled nicely in between his legs
"i don't know, maybe i should save all the good stuff for the bedroom..."
you resist the urge to immediately start whining when you lean in only for yoongi to dodge your kiss, "hey, i like you in these baggy overalls, by the way." he suddenly changes the subject and you feel your cheeks flush when both his hands slide in through the gaps until he's able to grip your bum, "big, big fan of them-"
"you- namjoon and jungkook are right there-" you gawk, "at least have the decency to turn me around so they don't see you fully groping me-"
"they can always just close their eyes or something-"
"okay, you two, break it up-!" you hear namjoon's claps echoing from the office as he tries to get your attention and you immediately turn to look at him with a grin, "god, it's like you sick freaks want to rub it in our faces-"
"okay, i have to get to work so why don't you go and hang out with namjoon in the office?" yoongi stands up, being careful not to hit the top of his head on the hood, "he'll let you play chess on the computer if you ask nicely."
"i thought i was helping you out today!" you frown, grabbing onto his hand before waving it back and forth, "you said i did a good job handing you the tools and stuff. i'm getting better at not mixing all the different types of screwdrivers up!"
yoongi can't help but laugh at how needy you're being and he reaches up with his free hand to adjust his bandana
"i know you wanna help, but i promise you there's nothing exciting about repairing a master cylinder." he hums, reaching up to pinch your cheek playfully, "plus, don't you still have a huge research paper to work on?"
"yeah, but i'd much rather hang out with you..." you pout, yoongi cooing before leaning in to give your pushed-out bottom lip a little kiss
"we can hang out when we're both done with work."
"okay..." you purse your lips before letting go of his hand, "it's your loss. i'm a fantastic helper."
"mhm, you certainly are-" yoongi spins you around before pushing his palm against your lower back to get you to move, "now go and bug namjoon!"
you turn back to glance at yoongi one last time and he sweeps his hands at you to tell you to gO
fine!
it was getting hot in the garage anyway and namjoon always has the aircon blasting in the office
"sorry! only sad, single people are allowed in this area-" namjoon jokes as soon as you step in, gesturing to the office space with a grin, "leave or i'll have security escort you out."
"oh, stop it." you giggle, folding your arms up on the counter and leaning forward, "i keep telling you i'd be more than happy to set you up with one of my friends!!"
"i know, and that's very nice of you to offer, but i just want to find someone organically, you know?" namjoon sighs, leaning back against his chair before looking up at the ceiling wistfully, "being set up with someone doesn't feel like a natural process."
"namjoon thinks he's the main character of a shitty netflix romantic comedy." jungkook mutters, the two of you exchanging low giggles with each other
"well, if no one comes into your life organically you can always let me know and i'll- woah-" you jump in surprise when the sound of a roaring engine suddenly shatters the peaceful atmosphere and you turn around just in time to see a sleek car veering into the shop
you wince and raise a hand to shield your eyes from the bright headlights and you don't get a chance to make the first comment because jungkook beats you to it
(for the record, you were going to talk about how dramatic of an entrance whatever that was)
"oh my god. that is the sexiest car i've ever seen in my entire life." he breathes out, stepping away from the counter so he can stand by the door and get a closer look, "a 1965 mustang. nice."
"fun fact: i was actually thinking about getting a vintage mustang! i wanted an olive green one because i could've named her 'olive' which is super cute-" you nod enthusiastically, looking back and forth between namjoon and jungkook only for them to.,., completely ignore you and continue staring at the glossy mustang sitting out front
"okay, you guys, it's just a car-" you roll your eyes and let out a little snort of disbelief, "this isn't going to change your life or anything-"
a high-heel clad foot steps out of the car and onto the pavement and you immediately recognize the classic red-bottom louboutins
you actually own a pair of them as well but you rarely wear them out because you're always paranoid that you're going to topple over and snap an ankle and that would be completely mortifying
they're six inches tall!!!!
for the record, they look very nice sitting (collecting dust) on your shelf but now you're starting to think that it might be a good idea to wear them out again because this stranger makes it look like walking in them is easy breezy beautiful
"holy shit. is that lisa?" namjoon murmurs, reaching up to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "oh, wow. she..."
"i don't remember her looking like that the last time we saw her." jungkook whistles lowly, "hello, miss manoban."
"lisa- who's lisa?" you frown, tilting your head in curiosity as you watch this mysterious lisa toss her oversized sunglasses into the front seat of the car before slamming the door shut
"uh, she's just one of yoongi's exes- she actually used to work here but-" namjoon reaches over the counter so he can nudge you aside gently to get a better look, "when did she get a vintage mustang?!"
lisa leans down to look at herself in the side mirror, smearing some red lipstick over her pillowy bottom lip before rubbing her lips together and nodding satisfactorily
"guess her car-wrapping business really took off." jungkook hums, his eyes glued to the car
she seems to be moving in slow motion as she takes her hair down and shakes her head back and forth, the three of you tilting your heads at the same time as you watch her in awe
"car-wrapping?" you ask curiously, "she must spend a fortune on wrapping paper and giant bows-"
"no, obviously it's not actual wrapping- like-" jungkook huffs and you resist the urge to bop him over the head at how snappy he's being with you when he already knows you're clueless when it comes to this kind of stuff, "okay, you know how you said that if you ever got a g-wagon for yourself one day that you wanted to make it baby blue just like beeper and also matte? lisa could do that for you."
"oh! in that case, it might be nice to get a business card from her or something-" you make a mental note before shaking your head and turning back around to face namjoon, "hey, so, super casual, can we round back to the whole 'yoongi's ex' thing real quickly because i-"
"yoohoo, boys!" lisa whistles, grinning excitedly when she's suddenly joined by everyone outside one by one, "what, no one thought to roll out the red carpet for me?"
"c'mon, namjoon! let's go say hi to lisa and her vintage 'stang!!" jungkook grins, gesturing for namjoon to hurry before he's darting out the door, "lisa, hey!"
"yeah, okay!!" namjoon gets up from his seat so quickly that he sends his chair rolling back and smacking against the file cabinets, "oh, y/n-! if anyone calls, just send them straight to voicemail-"
"but i-" you don't get a chance to say anything before namjoon's brushing past you and dashing out the door as well
you don't know too much about lisa but obviously she's a pretty big deal around here
it'd probably be good for you to go and introduce yourself instead of awkwardly hanging out in the office by yourself
"hello, lisa. it's very nice to meet you. firm handshake." you mutter to yourself as you step out of the office and head towards the bustling group of boys, "hey, lisa! so great to meet you. firm handshake. hi, girlie-! nope, don't like that one-"
"-in town for business so i thought it'd be nice to swing by and visit my boys." you manage to catch the end of lisa's sentences as you join the boys, trying not to make any sudden movements to catch her attention
"you should've texted one of us or something!" namjoon pulls his phone out of his back pocket, "we could've ordered a pizza for lunch-"
you reach over to give the back of yoongi's jumpsuit a little tug just to get his attention and he glances over his shoulder at you before offering you a teasing smile and reaching back to wiggle his fingers against your stomach
you giggle lightly before swatting his hand away and he turns back to look at lisa
"well, i wanted to surprise you guys!" lisa chirps, tucking her clutch underneath her armpit before clapping her hands together, "i see nothing's changed around here... except for..." you feel your heart drop when she suddenly leans over and looks directly at you, "hello! i don't think we've ever met."
"oh, shoot- sorry, i should've introduced you sooner-" yoongi steps aside so that he isn't blocking you, "lisa, this is y/n! y/n, this is lisa." he smiles, gesturing towards lisa, "my girlfriend." he pauses and quickly shakes his head at his little flub-up, "i mean- lisa, this is y/n, my girlfriend-"
"he's definitely gonna pay for that later." jimin mutters, jungkook snickering before nudging at his side to get him to shut up
"it's super nice to meet you, y/n!" lisa doesn't acknowledge yoongi's error and she steps forward to get closer to you
she's practically towering over you but it's really just because of the stilettos
she turns her head to look at the boys and a second of silence goes by before they realize what she's asking of them and they all scatter in different directions
you give yoongi a look that basically screams S.O.S. and you resist the urge to burst into tears when he gives you a cheery thumbs up in return and trots off to go and do something else
okay
you'll be fine
you have nothing to be nervous about!
this is just yoongi's very hot ex who looks like a million bucks while you'e currently dressed like a giant toddler
it doesn't help that you're wearing what's commonly known as a 'baby tee' under these overalls
"you- yeah, you too-" you chuckle uneasily, giving her a weak handshake before pulling away with a smile, "i'm sorry, i'm a little underdressed-" you pause to gesture to the grubby overalls you have on, "i promise i look better than this most of the time..."
"oh, don't be silly. i just grabbed the first outfit i saw out of my suitcase and threw it on-" she sighs, reaching up to pick some lint off her blazer that you're pretty sure you saw in the most recent YSL spring catalog (in fact, you're pretty sure it's on your to-buy list), "so, what do you do?"
"me? i- uh, well, nothing, at the moment- i'm still studying for my undergraduate degree, so..." you shrug sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of your neck
for some reason you can't seem to maintain eye contact with her for more than three seconds at a time
"oh! you're still in school?"
"yeah, i- well, i'm graduating this year, so i'm almost out of school if you think about it that way- but yes. yes, i... am currently a university student, so that's what i'm doing."
"mm, cute! what are you studying?"
"history! i'm a history major and a marine biology minor." you nod, "so... the cold war and... like, sharks. something like that."
"ah, very cool."
to be honest you're not entirely sure if lisa's being sincere or not but you'll take the compliment either way
you can tell she's trying to scope you out - which is fair, because this is the first time you two are meeting and you're currently involved with someone she used to be involved with
"i'm sorry. i'm probably, like, freaking you out right now, aren't i?" lisa snorts, reaching out and placing her hand on your forearm for a split second, "i promise i'm just genuinely curious and i'm not trying to, like, interrogate you or anything. it's super nice to meet you! and honestly- i love the overalls. the little knee patches are adorable."
"oh, thank you..." you smile nervously, reaching down to glance at the mismatched patches of fabric sewn onto the knees of your overalls, "yoongi actually sewed 'em on for me! i usually wear this whenever i'm here because i'm okay with getting it dirty- i, um, i like your blazer! and your heels. and your purse- a chanel clutch is a classic!"
"ooh, someone has an eye for fashion..." lisa winks, raising her clutch and waving it slightly, "maybe after i'm done talking business with yoongi we can talk about gucci's new multicolour line-"
"oh, i have so many thoughts on gucci's new multicolour line!" you gasp, suddenly reignited with a spurt of energy, "honestly the colour scheme is very stabilo highlighters to me but we can talk about it later- i'll just be hanging out in the office, so you can find me there whenever you're ready-"
"perfect!" lisa gives you a thumbs up before pointing over to where yoongi is, "if you'll excuse me, i have to go and talk about boring things with yoongi-"
"mhm!" you watch with a smile as lisa click-clacks off towards yoongi before you spin around on your heels, giving yourself a mental pat on the back for how well you handled that interaction
lisa's actually nicer than you thought she'd be!
obviously the saying don't judge a book by its cover is very applicable here
"so... what'd you think of lisa?" namjoon joins your side before nudging you gently, "she's nice, right?"
"i like her! she seems really cool." you nod enthusiastically, pausing to glance over your shoulder to look at her from behind, "i need to ask her for tips on walking in those louboutins and how not to fall over."
"you know, i must say i'm pleasantly surprised at how you're handling this." namjoon snorts, holding back for a second to let you into the office first before he steps in behind you, "colour me impressed!"
"thank you!" you reach over to pull the lollipop jar towards you before suddenly pausing and looking back over at namjoon with a frown, "hold on a sec, what's that supposed to mean?"
"hm? oh, it's nothing." namjoon scrunches his nose, dismissing you with a flick of his wrist as he takes his seat behind the counter, "i just know that if i was in your shoes and my significant other's very attractive and very successful ex came back i would be a little antsy about it-" namjoon glances up from the computer and his eyes widen in panic when he notices that your eyes have widened in panic, "i- i mean- not that you're not very attractive and very successful- what i'm trying to say is that you have nothing to worry- you and yoongi seem like a very stable couple so-"
"do you think maybe you could tell me a bit about yoongi and lisa?" you interrupt his spiral and you feel yourself starting to get a little fidgety, "because i- i actually don't know anything about that situation-"
namjoon has a point, now that you think about it
lisa is very successful and very attractive and can walk in high heels very elegantly
and what about you?
yesterday you submitted a paper one minute before the deadline because of how much procrastinating you had done
and you haven't worn heels in forever because they just hurt so much
but lisa wouldn't complain about her feet hurting in high heels
lisa could have a hundred blisters and still walk into the room with a beautiful, red-lipped smile
"has he never told you about her?" namjoon frowns, "i feel like every couple should at least have one conversation about their past relationships."
"i think he tried to one time, but i- i dunno, you can't blame me for not wanting to sit there and listen to yoongi talking about all the girls he's been with, so i just changed the subject..." you mutter, pushing the jar away from you after pulling a strawberry lollipop out, "kind of regretting that decision now."
it's not like you have a reason to be insecure or anything, right?
your relationship with yoongi is very solid and there are certainly no trust issues or communication issues or anything of the sort
...
but he is your first boyfriend...,., and this is your first serious relationship which means you've had no prior experiences to learn from which means you're just going with the flow most of the time.,., so is it possible that you're being a little naïve right now?
"still, i don't think me telling you all the details of their relationship is a good idea because i feel like this is a conversation you should be having with yoongi-" namjoon chuckles nervously, leaning back against his chair before tucking a pencil behind his ear, "sorry, kiddo. i'm not trying to stir the pot here."
"i- oh, c'mon, joon- what's it gonna take, huh?" you reach into the front pocket of your overalls before subtly flashing a folded up hundred dollar bill, pursing your lips slightly as your eyes flicker back and forth between namjoon and your chest-money, "hm??"
"first of all, it's very concerning to me that you stash loose cash in your pocket like that. second of all, are you really trying to bribe me into telling you about yoongi and lisa?" namjoon asks incredulously
"what?! no!" you scoff, tucking the bill back into your pocket before pausing and raising an eyebrow, "...is it working?"
"no! in fact, i find it offensive that you think i'd be so easily swayed-"
"the next time i bring sushi for lunch, i'll get you your own mango shrimp tempura roll." you offer, namjoon staring at you blankly before he suddenly springs into action
"so, they used to sleep together, obviously." he clears his throat, "when lisa started working here, i kind of expected her to get involved with one of us and unsurprisingly it was yoongi, because... well, it's yoongi- i'm pretty sure it was a friends with benefits kind of thing because i remember asking him about it and he said they didn't want to put a label on it? and then at one point jimin asked lisa about it because all of us were super curious and she called it a 'situationship'... which, personally, i think is a pretty cheesy label- i dunno, they'd go out to dinners sometimes and occasionally they'd come into work together in the morning because- well, you know- uh, they were in this 'situationship' for... maybe, like, eight months? and then lisa got an opportunity to work elsewhere and she took it and they decided to call it off and fast forward to now... here we are!" namjoon claps his hands together before pressing his palm over his heart, "and i promise you that's all the information i have- well, maybe this piece of information might be useful to you: they were, like, super horny for each other all the time. like, almost outrageously horny, which i think is one of the downfalls of the relationship because you can't base a solid relationship off of animalistic sex, right? ooh, there was one time i caught them in yoongi's office and lisa was-"
"okay, i think that's enough-!" you hold a hand out to shut namjoon up and he shrugs before leaning back against his chair, "more than enough, actually-"
you weren't expecting to learn about the raw, animalistic sex yoongi had with lisa, but then again, you weren't expecting to even meet lisa at all
oh, god
should you be nervous??
you shouldn't be nervous, right??
...yeah, you're being ridiculous!
yoongi has been with other girls before and that shouldn't bother you because you didn't exist then
this has nothing to do with you!
so what if he bent her over the office table and-
okay, maybe it's time to stop thinking about this because the point is: you're fine. don't worry. everything is normal. yoongi is your boyfriend. lisa is his ex. everything is great!
"by the way, i want you to know that you honestly have nothing to worry about." namjoon suddenly chimes in as if he can read your mind, "lisa was yoongi's past but you are his present and most likely his future as well, so- seriously, don't even worry about it."
"yeah, you're right. it'd be silly of me to be upset about yoongi being with someone else when i wasn't even in the picture yet." you snort, reaching up to smack your own forehead gently, "okay! i'm feeling a little better. it would've been nice to not be informed about how horny they were for each other, but thank you for that detail-"
"yo, where are the snap ring pliers from my toolbox?" you turn just in time to see yoongi pop his head in, "i can't find them anywhere... i swear to god, everyone keeps borrowing my tools and 'forgetting' to put them back-" he rolls his eyes before looking over at you with a smile, "hi, baby-"
"hi yoongi-" you giggle, all your doubts and insecurities immediately fluttering away
see? nothing to worry about!
phEw
it feels like a weight's been lifted off your shoulders
"i think hoseok might've been using them earlier this morning." namjoon hums, "what do you need them for?"
"oh, lisa offered to help me out with the master cylinder repair and she needs 'em." yoongi points back over his shoulder, "you know how great she is with her hands-"
"woah, i thought-" your voice cracks slightly and you clear your throat, "i thought, uh- you were working on it yourself? like, i thought you didn't need any help and that's why i'm in here-"
"oh, i don't, but- well, lisa's good with fine-tuning so i might as well take advantage of her expertise while she's here." yoongi snorts before looking back over at namjoon, "you said hoseok had them?"
"yep!"
you bite down on your tongue to keep yourself from commenting any further
it's fine!
as we've already established, you have nothing to worry about.
...right?
»»————- 🛠️ ————-««
"and... voilà!" you smile satisfactorily to yourself after you set the scented candle down on the coffee table
the living room is going to smell like warm brown sugar and cinnamon in a few minutes and you can't wait
this is yoongi's favourite candle so you hope he'll be excited about that when he gets here :'))
you've been preparing the apartment for his arrival and lighting the candle was one of the last things on your to-do list
you still have to order dinner for tonight and you've always been awful at making decisions so you figured it'd be best to let yoongi choose instead
you haven't seen him for about a week and a half because of finals (and, being perfectly honest, you were the one who implemented this distancing rule in the first place because you know you won't be able to focus on studying when yoongi's in the apartment with you) so you're pretty pumped for tonight!!
you hum to yourself as you click on yoongi's phone number in your contacts, flopping back on the couch with a fwump! while your legs swing lazily over the arm
"hello?"
the phone picks up after a couple of rings and it takes you a second to realize that the voice on the other end certainly does not belong to your boyfriend
"he-" you pause, pulling your phone away from your ear and frowning at the unfamiliar voice before bringing it back, "um, hello?"
"hi! who's this?"
"who's this?" you point to yourself before scoffing lightly, "what do you mean who- who's this?"
"oh- oh, y/n! hey, it's lisa!" lisa greets enthusiastically and you relax a little knowing that it's just lisa, "sorry, i didn't look at the contact name before picking up- what's up?"
"well, i-" you pause again to recollect your thoughts, "um, sorry, i guess i was just expecting yoongi to pick up his own phone so i'm a little lost right now-"
"oh my gosh, don't even worry about it! yoongi's hands are super gross right now so i offered to take his call for him which is why i picked up the phone. is there something you wanted me to pass along to him?"
"yeah, you could pass his phone right along to him-" you joke before reminding yourself to keep the unnecessary cattiness to a minimum, "yeah, um- can you ask him what time he's coming over? so that i know what time to order our food and stuff? i want the food to still be nice and hot by the time he gets here, so i just need a time from him, that's all-"
"yeah, about that... i actually don't think yoongi's going to make it for dinner."
"i-" you frown, pushing yourself up so that you're leaning back against an elbow, "what? why not?"
"the thing is, i hooked him up with a bunch of clients so the poor thing's been working like a dog all day and it looks like he's going to be stuck here for a while... if you're worried about him skipping dinner, i can totally go and get some food for him if you want! there's this sandwich place a block away and i know what he likes-"
your eyes widen slightly at how... happy? lisa sounds about the fact that yoongi potentially won't be joining you for dinner and you nod to yourself as you clench your jaw
"that's- that's very kind of you, lisa-" your voice is a little pitchier than usual at this point and you clear your throat obnoxiously, "i'm sorry, i just really have to talk to yoongi for a second so if you could just, like, hold the phone up to his ear that would be okay too-"
"okay! gimme a sec." there's a bit of shuffling on the other end and you press your lips together as you wait (im)patiently, "yoongs! it's y/n... dinner... hot food... her place... clients... pretty busy tonight..."
and she even has a nickname for him
that's just downright adorable, isn't it?
"god, just give him the damn phone." you mutter under your breath, raising your other hand to inspect your cuticles as you lie back down on the couch
hm
you should probably schedule another manicure soon
"-it's okay, i can hold the phone myself- y/n?" you perk up when you hear yoongi on the other end and you can't help but kick your legs in excitement
you can't help it!!!
you haven't heard his voice in a whole week and a half!!!
"greetings, yoongs." you tease, "what time are you going to be here?" you bypass lisa's whole monologue about yoongi probably not being able to come over tonight in hopes that she'll be wrong about him ditching you to continue working, "i wanna order the food so it'll get here a little before you arrive. also, i haven't chosen what we're going to eat tonight so you're going to have to choose for us-"
"right, about that-" yoongi clears his throat, "i know i was supposed to come over for dinner tonight but- listen, i don't know what lisa did but obviously she's got a lot of connections now and the shop has literally never been this busy before..." he pauses and you hear the sound of loud clanging in the background, "you understand, don't you?"
it takes you a couple of seconds to process the fact that yoongi really won't be coming over tonight and you puff your cheeks out to keep yourself from immediately whining in protest
to say the least, you are.,.,,. very disappointed,.., but!! it won't be the end of the world, right?
you hate that lisa was right, but that's a conversation you can have with yourself another time
and if yoongi won't be here, that means you can hog all the garlic cheesy bread to yourself so maybe this is a blessing in disguise >:-)
"no, yeah, i- yeah, get it!" you nod, "i love that business is booming, i just don't love that you didn't text me or call me earlier to let me know you weren't going to come over tonight," you frown, turning your head to look at the flickering candle, "a heads up would've been nice, that's all..."
"i asked lisa to text you earlier when my hands were full... sorry, she must've forgot..."
"oh. yeah, i guess it could've slipped her mind." you respond dryly, "it would've taken, like, five seconds to text me-"
"okay, i-" you hear yoongi let out a small sigh before he speaks up again, "i'm sorry, baby, i really am- do you- i can come over now if you want me t-"
"no, it's okay! i'm sorry, i'm just-" you shake your head quickly before chuckling uneasily, "i just haven't seen you in a while so i miss you, that's all- but i'll let you get back to work now and i'll see you later?"
"yes! you are the best, you really are- look, i promise i'll be all yours as soon as i-"
"yoongi! these tires aren't going to change themselves, silly-"
"oh, c'mon-" you grumble, your teeth grinding slightly at the interruption of lisa's peppy voice in the background
"uh- yeah, in a sec-! i gotta go, doll- i'll call you later-"
"okay, b-" you don't get a chance to even say goodbye before the line goes dead and the only thing you can hear is an obnoxious beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep- "-ye."
»»————- 🛠️ ————-««
one of your goals for the new year was to try your best to not hold a grudge
admittedly, holding grudges is one of your specialties so it's been a little bit difficult but you think you've been doing an okay job so far!
like that time jungkook accidentally drowned you with dirty car water because he didn't see you and also he had headphones on so he couldn't hear you
you were ready to strangle him right then and there but you just took a deep breath and reminded yourself that *~deep-cleaning services exist~*
and sure, you were a little upset that yoongi couldn't make it for dinner the other night and that the two of you haven't really had a chance to have a moment alone because of how swamped he's been with work, but... well, the past is in the past and challenges like this are good for your personal growth!
plus, it's the start of a new week so you're just going to focus on the present
you try your best to keep your footsteps as quiet as possible as you approach a preoccupied yoongi from behind
he's currently sorting out all the things to do on his giant whiteboard (you bought this for the boys because you thought it'd be a good way to organize all their tasks and unsurprisingly, namjoon was the most excited about it)
"guess who?" you hold your hands over yoongi's eyes with a giddy smile and he immediately spins around to face you
"hey, what are you doing here?" yoongi asks, leaning down to give you a quick kiss before pulling away to check the time on his watch, "aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"
"my history seminar was cancelled because my professor had some kind of an emergency so i thought i'd come and have lunch with you guys!" you hum, reaching over to fix the thin silver chain hanging around yoongi's neck, "i was going to pick the food up before coming here but i didn't want to just choose for everyone so i thought it'd be better to get everyone's orders first-"
"oh, you don't have to do that, baby-" yoongi shakes his head, capping the marker and dropping it back into the wire holder, "lisa actually offered to treat us to lunch- apparently there's some bagel place that has, like, a hundred different fillings-"
"lisa's here?" you interrupt, suddenly straightening your back before looking around quickly, "i... was not aware that lisa was... still here! i thought she was only here for a little while-"
"mm, she ended up extending her stay! one of her clients pushed their appointment to thursday so she came over to help out for the day."
"oh, cool." you nod, pressing your lips together as you take a second to sort through your thoughts
your nose scrunches slightly as you weigh the pros and cons of saying what you're about to say to yoongi
...
it won't kill you to ask, right?
"hey, i don't wanna, um-" you pause, "you know, i don't wanna... be that girlfriend, but... do you think that there's a slight possibility that lisa might still have feelings for you?"
a moment of silence goes by before yoongi practically barks out a laugh of disbelief
"what? lisa? no, no- that- no, don't be ridiculous." he snorts, shaking his head before turning back around to face the whiteboard, "lisa most certainly does not still have feelings for me- and, by the way, she was the one who broke things off with me, so if anything, i should be the one who still has feelings for-" he stops himself midway and presses his lips together before turning to glance at you over his shoulder, "you know, i'm hearing the words coming out of my mouth and i... am going to shut up now."
"mm, good choice." you raise a brow before shrugging, "alright, well, i just- you know, it's a possibility but if you say that lisa doesn't still have feelings for you, then i believe you-"
"alright, boys! it's chow time!"
you turn your head to see lisa waltzing into the shop carrying two large paper bags and the rest of the boys immediately rush over to her like moths to a flame
she brought bagels for lunch?
you're not trying to be biased or anything sandwiches are easier to eat, in your personal opinion
you basically have to unhinge your jaw to get a good bite of a bagel
"y/n!" lisa looks more than surprised at your presence when you and yoongi walk over the join the group, "i wasn't aware you were going to be here today- yoongi told me that you had class so i-" she pauses to set the bags down on the table, "oh my goodness, i am so sorry but i really didn't know you'd be joining us for lunch... yoongi, you could've texted me or something-"
"she just got here!" yoongi shrugs as he takes a seat at the table, "don't pin this on me-"
"ah, i probably look like such a jerk right now..." lisa winces, scratching the back of her head before reaching down to grab a bagel out of one of the paper bags, "here! you can take my bagel-"
"no, no, it's alright!" you hold your hands out before shaking them, "don't be silly, you don't have to do that- it's very nice of you to offer but i- it's alright, you go ahead and enjoy yourself!"
"oh, stop- take the bagel, y/n." lisa scoffs playfully, practically shoving the bagel into your arms before rummaging through the bags again, "i'll just share a bagel with yoongi! you don't mind, right, yoongs?"
"yeah, i had a snack earlier so i'm not, like, starving or anything-" yoongi nods, "what kind of filling is it?"
"this one is..." lisa pauses to look at the sticker on the top, "smoked salmon and dill cream cheese with capers."
"yoongi doesn't like capers." you chime in, suddenly feeling the need to prove to everyone that you know your boyfriend very well, "i remember they were sprinkled in a salad one time and he said they were too salty-"
"eh, i'll survive. i can always just pick 'em out." yoongi shrugs nonchalantly and you can't help but purse your lips in mild frustration at his response
"'atta boy! luckily, they're already sliced in half otherwise we'd have to take turns taking bites which would be weird-"
"agreed." you mutter, peeling the label off your bagel and sticking it onto the side instead
"oh, lisa! i was wondering if maybe you could help me out with some custom headlights i'm working on?" hoseok perks up, "i'm having some trouble getting the halo lights to work and i need your magic hands-"
"mhm! i can definitely check them out after lunch-" lisa grins, taking a seat next to yoongi, "anyone need a napkin?"
"yes, please!"
"i need one too-"
"pass one over here-"
you know it's silly of you to be feeling jealous over this because god knows the only thing you know about cars is that key go in and car go vroom so obviously the boys would never ask you to help them out with anything like how they're asking lisa to help out
and you're trying very hard to noT throw a self-pity party but it's getting harder and harder to not to that
(and it certainly doesn't help that there aren't any more seats left at the table)
you just can't help but feel so!!!!! inferior!!!!! compared to lisa
she's so cool and pretty and witty and obviously very knowledgable about cars
and what are you bringing to the table??
ham and cheese sandwiches??? fancy sushi rolls????
obviously not anymore because they've been replaced by these stupid bagels
this is the first time you haven't been able to throw money at a problem and you're not,.., sure.,., how you feel about it,..,
"i, uh, have to work on a paper, so i think i'm going to go and eat this in the office if anyone wants to come with?" you clear your throat quietly as you start to back away from the table slowly, "...or i can just go fuck myself, which is fine too."
you're not entirely surprised when your comment isn't acknowledged by anyone and you nod to yourself before swiftly turning on your heel and trying your best not to storm towards the office
you force your fists to uncurl and your shoulders to relax slightly but you can't help but make a face when you hear the boys laughing obnoxiously at one of lisa's jokes
of course she has to be funny as well
because the woman literally has zero flaws
you've been trying to find a reason to hate her and so far you haven't found anything negative to say
hating someone for having perfectly styled hair is a little odd
the legs of the chair screech against the floor as you pull it out and plop down
whatever
you like eating alone anyway
you unwrap the parchment paper and pick up the bagel before taking an overly aggressive bite of it, your cheeks practically bursting from how much food is currently in your mouth
you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as you chew, tossing the bagel back onto the wrapper with a thunk!
...
damnit!
this is the best goddamn bagel you've ever had in your entire life!!
"phtupid phriggin' bavhel." you grumble, reaching up to wipe the sauce off the corner of your mouth before swallowing roughly, "even the mayo is delicious! god, what is this? some kind of garlic mayo-"
"oh my god. i think she's finally lost it." you jolt upon hearing jungkook's voice and you turn to see him and jimin standing at the door
"what's your problem?" jimin asks, the two of them walking over to join you at your sad, lonely table
"what? nothing. i don't have a problem." you shake your head stubbornly, "i just- i just wanted to be alone, that doesn't mean something's wrong-"
"is that why you're in here basically yelling at a bagel?" jungkook points out as he pulls out a chair and sits on your right
"i'm- i'm just stressed about- my paper. or whatever. it's whatever, i'm fine-"
"you can talk to us, you know." you frown when jungkook suddenly reaches over and in an uncharacteristic move, places both hands over yours
"is it about lisa?" jimin asks, crinkling his nose as he sits down as well, "it's about lisa, isn't it?"
"no, it's not-" you press your lips together before letting out a light laugh, "you know, i don't even have a reason to be upset about lisa, right? she's super cool and very nice and knows a lot about cars and is yoongi's age and namjoon blessed me with the knowledge that she, apparently, was a very passionate lover- so i have nothing to be upset about!" you snap, slapping your palm down on the table before wincing and cradling your hand to your chest, "...everything is fine."
"i have to say, i really don't think jealousy is a good look on you." jungkook clicks his tongue before glancing down at your feet, "i also don't know if those shoes are a good look on you- jeez, it's like the people at gucci are just pulling design elements out of a hat-"
"you are not making me feel any better, jungkook- these shoes are new!"
"ooh, you should make him jealous!" jungkook suddenly lights up and the fluorescent light hanging above you guys flickers for a second
"we're going to have to round back to my shoes later because i really don't think they're that bad-"
"you should make him jealous and give him a taste of his own medicine..." jungkook trails off, ignoring your previous comments once again, "it's what you deserve."
"i'm not- i'm not doing that." you chuckle uneasily, "are you serious? this isn't high school and getting him back would just be petty of me-"
"but it'd feel so nice to be petty, don't you think?" jungkook encourages, scooting a little closer to you with a devilish grin, "think about it, y/n. don't you wanna see yoongi get all hot and possessive over you-"
"i don't think it's a good idea." jimin chimes in, shaking his head quickly as he moves in closer as well, "because if yoongi finds out you orchestrated something just to get him back, that might create an issue of trust in the relationship, and that would be very, very bad-"
"oh, but it feels so good to be bad..." jungkook coos, poking your arm with his pointer finger, "so, so good..."
"uh, i don't think so! i'd like to argue that it feels bad to be bad-"
"don't listen to jimin, he's a wuss-"
"don't listen to jungkook, he's an idiot-!"
"okay, cut it out!" you snap, shoving your hands into both their chests to keep them from coming any closer, "i... must admit, i do want to do something to piss yoongi off because of how much he's pissed me off, but... i'm not like that, you know? and i don't want to come off as some crazy girlfriend because-" you pause when you notice jungkook's finger creeping closer and closer to your bagel and you immediately deflate as soon as you realize what's going on here, "oh my god. you guys only came in here because you wanted to try my bagel, didn't you?"
jungkook and jimin exchange knowing glances before looking up at you sheepishly
"yeah, that makes more sense-" you snort, rolling your eyes before pushing the bagel away from you, "have at it, you animals."
you lean back against your chair, stroking your chin in thought as the sound of jungkook and jimin bickering over who gets the bigger half of the bagel starts to fade out
to be petty or not to be petty, that is the question...
»»————- 🛠️ ————-««
(spoiler alert: the answer to the previous question is to be petty. very, very petty.) »»————- 🛠️ ————-««
"namjoon! where did you put my keys??" yoongi calls out, yanking open another drawer to rifle through its contents, "i'm supposed to pick y/n up from campus and i can't find them anywhere... i don't want her to just stand there waiting for me..."
"looking for these?"
yoongi looks up to see lisa standing by the door with his keys in her hand before she tosses them to him
"yes! you're a lifesaver, thanks-" he catches them with one hand before stepping out from behind the counter, "i thought you were leaving today? we already said goodbye to you this morning-"
"yeah, i know-" lisa chuckles as she steps into the office, "it's just that... well, i was going to just leave but i actually had something i needed to talk to you about before i left. i felt it wouldn't be fair to either one of us if i didn't say anything."
"mm. what's up?" yoongi hums, sticking his hand into the lollipop jar to pull a cherry flavoured one out
he pulls another one out before tucking it into his pocket (one for you when he picks you up!)
"well, i guess i should just go ahead and say it- just gotta rip the bandaid off-" lisa straightens her blazer before clearing her throat, "yes."
"...yes?" yoongi frowns, unwrapping his lollipop before popping it into his mouth and scrunching up the wrapper, "i'm not following. yes to what?"
"oh, don't play dumb-" lisa snorts, flicking her wrist at him, "yes, as in: i would love to rekindle our friends with benefits situationship-"
"woah, what?!" yoongi immediately chokes and he yanks the lollipop out of his mouth before patting his chest roughly, "what are you- what the hell are you talking about??"
"what do you mean what the hell am i talking about??" lisa stares at him incredulously before shaking her head, "you're the one who's been giving me secret signals all week-"
"signals-" yoongi's gawks, "what signals??"
"you know, like, how you cancelled dinner plans with her so you could be with me..." lisa croons, taking a step closer towards him
"i cancelled dinner plans with y/n so i could be with twenty cars-" yoongi inches to the side so he can make a quick getaway to run behind the counter in case lisa pounces, "which, i'm realizing doesn't make me sound like the best boyfriend but- i most certainly didn't cancel just to spend private time with you, no offence-"
"what about when we shared a bagel and you didn't complain about the capers??" lisa snaps, lunging towards yoongi only for him to quickly spin out of the way and hurry to get behind the counter
"uh, we shared a bagel because i wasn't hungry for a full bagel and i thought you weren't either, and also-" yoongi grabs namjoon's wheely chair as a makeshift barrier between him and lisa, "i'm a grown man, i'm not going to throw a fit over some friggin' capers-"
"how about when i squeezed your arm and asked you if you'd been working out and you totally flexed your arm for me??" lisa grabs the arms of the chair before yanking and aggressively rolling it behind her, yoongi's eyes widening in panic at the sudden empty space in between the two of them
"i flexed it to prove to you that i have indeed been working out-!" yoongi hops up onto the counter as soon as lisa darts towards him and he hurries to jump off so he's on the other side of it, knocking the phone and namjoon's pen holder down onto the ground in the process, "friends can ask each other if they've been hitting the gym!! i squeeze namjoon's arms all the time because his biceps are literally boulders-"
"i just feel like we have unfinished business, you know?" lisa whines, pausing for a second before bringing a hand up to bite down on the tip of her pointer finger teasingly, "plus, you have to admit that our sex was super hot-"
"are you- hello, i'm dating y/n!" yoongi gasps, "our business is finished! we have no more- we're out of business, lisa!"
"oh, c'mon." lisa raises a brow, clearly unimpressed with his reaction, "it's not going to hurt anyone to keep me as your sexy little secret- it's perfect! i only come into town, like, once or twice a year, so she won't even suspect anythi-"
"what are you- are you insane?! i'm not going to cheat on y/n-" yoongi chokes before raising his hands in defence, "lisa, you're a very beautiful woman and we do have a history, but- look, i'm sorry if i sent you mixed signals this week, that was certainly not my intention- please understand that i am very much not trying to cheat on someone who i love very much and who i'm pretty sure loves me back, so-"
"then who's that person she's so obviously flirting with right now?" lisa points over his shoulder, "also, she's barely visited you this week. what kind of girlfriend doesn't want to always be with her boyfriend??"
"first of all, space can be healthy, and second of all, she- hold on, you said flirting?" yoongi turns to look over his shoulder and out the door, tilting his head slightly when he sees you standing at the front of the garage laughing with... someone he certainly doesn't recognize...
"you can leave all of this behind and come and work for me, yoongi-" yoongi jumps when he suddenly feels hands grasping at the collar of his jumpsuit and he turns back to see lisa standing right in front of him (how did she move so quickly and quietly?!), "we can be happy together, i swear-"
"yeah, cool, just give me a second-" yoongi gently yanks lisa's hands off of him before hurrying out of the office and making a beeline right for you and this mysterious stranger
"oop- okay, he's coming this way-" baekhyun mutters, glancing over your shoulder before looking back at you, "it's show time. you ready?" he hums, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear
"what do you think? do we look convincing?" you reach down to unbutton another button on your blouse before adjusting the collar
it's taking everything within you noT to whip around to see if yoongi's just walking towards you or if he's storming towards you... because there's definitely a difference and you definitely want it to be the latter
the plan you came up with had a pretty simple formula: one handsome stranger + one flirty, oblivious y/n = one jealous yoongi
jungkook had a point about how nice it'd be to get yoongi all riled up and possessive and frankly you think you deserve it considering how dismissive he's been with you all week... which is why you were more than happy to recruit your very handsome friend baekhyun (he's very sweet / you met last semester in one of your history courses / he was more than willing to help out with your plan because he's a theatre major and this is good practice for him) to help you out with your plan!
"you're laughing like a robot." baekhyun lowers his voice, "i told you to act natural-"
"i'm being natural! ha, ha! ha! ha-ha. you're so funny, baek-" you giggle obnoxiously, reaching over to slap his chest gently, "you are absolutely the funniest person i've ever met-"
"y/n!" yoongi clears his throat loudly and you bite back a grin at the hint of annoyance you can detect in his voice, "i... thought i was picking you up from class today? i wasn't aware you hired a chauffeur!"
"oh, yoongi!" you spin around, feigning surprise as if you totally weren't expecting to see him at all, "oh, this is actually my friend- i know you've been busy so he offered to give me a ride!" you hum, stepping aside to let baekhyun step up onto the sidewalk, "baekhyun, this is yoongi-" you gesture to yoongi, "yoongi, this is baekhyun! ...my boyfriend."
you're hoping your accidental on-purpose flub-up triggers yoongi's memory of how he accidentally introduced lisa to you as his girlfriend and you're delighted to see the way yoongi's jaw drops slightly, "oh, my bad! i'm sorry, i don't know how that happened- what i meant to say was baekhyun, this is yoongi, my boyfriend. there we go."
"baekhyun..." yoongi repeats, his eyes narrowing slightly when baekhyun suddenly wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a squeeze "well, that's very nice of you to drive y/n all the way here. thanks for doing that, man."
"oh, it's no problem at all!" baekhyun hums, reaching over to pinch your cheek, "y/n's the sweetest and i didn't want to abandon her on campus-"
"okay, she wasn't abandoned, i was literally about to leave to pick her up-" yoongi points out, lifting his keys with a jingle before abruptly shoving them into his back pocket, "you know, y/n's never mentioned a baekhyun before. you two seem... close!"
"oh, baek and i go way back." you snort, digging your elbow into his side with a grin, "isn't that right, baek?"
baek
yoongi pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek at the fact that baekhyun still has his arm wrapped around your shoulder and you haven't made a move to shoVE it off
how can you not see that his intentions with you aren't just chummy??
he wouldn't have driven you all the way here if he didn't want to get his grubby hands under your skirt-
"we most certainly do! we made some great memories in that lecture hall- i have to say, i was, uh, pretty disappointed when i found out she was already in a relationship..." baekhyun sighs dramatically, shaking his head before looking back at you, "i would treat you right and never cancel dinner plans with you-"
"okay, i think it's time for you to go, bacon-" yoongi forces a smile on his face before reaching over to gently pull you towards him, "thank you for dropping my girlfriend off. have a good one."
"oh, no problem!" baekhyun points towards you, "hey, lemme know if you need a ride to campus on monday because i'd be happy to swing by your apartment and-"
"no, i can take her!" yoongi manoeuvres you so that you're standing behind him and basically blocked from baekhyun's sight, "i've got it from here, thanks."
"bye, baek!" you wave at baekhyun as gets into his car and he salutes at you before his right eye drops in a cheeky wink and it's at that point that yoongi really thinks he's about to lose it
what the hell was that?!
he spins around to face you as soon as baekhyun zooms off and you keep yourself from asking him why his ears have suddenly turned super red
"why are you wearing lowbuttons to class?" yoongi crosses his arms over his chest, "i thought you said you were going to use them as, like, apartment decoration."
"louboutins, yoongi." you correct, looking down at your slick stilettos, "and why can't i wear louboutins to class?"
"you wore them out to dinner one time and i ended up having to carry you back to the car because your feet were aching-" yoongi reminds you with a pointed tone, "are you telling me that you walked up and down and all around campus in those things?"
"maybe i did." you shrug, turning to stick your nose up in the air a little, "i can wear stilettos to class if i so please."
"and the miniskirt?"
"what, you don't like it?" you pout, reaching down to pick a piece of fluff off the surface, "it's new!"
it's a plain black skirt but it has a little slit on the side and you purposely bought this specific piece knowing that yoongi has expressed how much he likes you in black
"of course i like it, and obviously i'm a big fan of the heels but-" yoongi huffs, "all i'm saying is that it's a little odd- the timing is weird for your miniskirts and heels to make a sudden comeback now that you're all buddy-buddy with this backyawn-"
"it's baekhyun-"
"that's what i said!"
"you know, i don't know what you're implying here but i haven't done anything wrong-" you shrug, "are you feeling okay? maybe you need to take a nap-"
"stop being stubborn, y/n. just tell me what's going on!"
"nothing's going on!" you insist, raising your hands in defense before flicking a strand of hair over your shoulder, "everything is perfectly fine and nothing is-"
"are you leaving me for baekhyun?" yoongi interrupts, his eyes suddenly softening, "because if this is how you're telling me we're over, it's a pretty shitty-"
"what- what?? no!" you shake your head quickly, "no, of course i'm not- why would you even- okay, fine! fine, i-" you let out a breath and your shoulders drop a little, "it's just that... i don't know, it kind of feels like i've been fighting to get your attention for the whole week and i... i feel like i shouldn't have to do that as your girlfriend, you know? and i'm not... i guess i just felt like i wasn't stacking up to lisa and how cool and smart she is and- this whole week it's just felt like you're in a relationship with lisa and not me, so i... wanted to make you jealous to see if you still cared. or whatever."
"are you serious?" yoongi's eyes flutter shut and he reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration, "fuck, i'm sorry, ah- i'm sorry, y/n, i really am-" his brows knit together in remorse as he looks at you, "i think i just got swept up in all the new clients she was bringing in so i was focusing more on that than on noticing what was going on with you... i'm sorry. why didn't you just come and talk to me about it?"
"i didn't know how." you mutter, reaching up to scratch the side of your head, "i've never had to deal with something like this before, so... i know it was silly of me to come up with this whole thing-"
"you are my girlfriend, y/n." yoongi reminds you, his voice softening, "not lisa. it's you." he reaches over to hook a finger under your chin so he can get you to look at him, "i promise i only have eyes for you, pretty girl. you still love me?"
"god, yoongi-" you feel your cheeks flush at the nickname and you roll your eyes playfully before turning your head, "yeah. duh."
"oh, you silly thing..." he tuts, pulling you in for a hug and propping his chin up on the top of your head, "i'm sorry, baby. i really didn't mean to make you feel like that..." he pulls away and reaches down to glide his finger down the bridge of your nose before poking the tip, "i hope you can forgive me for being a shitty boyfriend."
"i'll forgive you if you forgive me for pretending to flirt with someone else." you smile sheepishly, yoongi grinning before nodding in agreement
"deal." he wraps an arm around your shoulder as the two of you head back towards the direction of the office, "so you really went through all that trouble just to make me a little jealous?" yoongi grins, "just for a little bit of attention? as if i'm not already all over you when we're alone-"
"well, it worked, didn't it?" you take your bottom lip in between your teeth as you squish your cheek against yoongi's shoulder and look up at him, "my acting skills are not half bad, if i do say so myself-"
"oh, shit, uh-" yoongi suddenly stops in his tracks when he sees lisa step out of the office and he spins around so that his back is facing her, "not to make you worry, but you should probably know that lisa's somehow convinced that i've been secretly flirting with her all week because i want to become friends with benefits again and she almost, like, body-slammed me in the office- also, if namjoon asks, tell him a raccoon snuck in and that's why his desk is a mess and his pens are all over the floor-"
"wait, what?!" your brows knit together and you're about to lean over to look at lisa but yoongi quickly reaches out and grabs onto your shoulders to keep you in place
"-yeah, so i'm going to lay you down on the hood of that car now because doing something extreme is probably the only thing that'll prove to her that she's wrong and i am very desperate to show her that she's wrong-"
"lay me down on the- and do what?! yoongi-!" you don't get much of a chance to say anything else before yoongi's suddenly bending down to pick you up off the ground in one swift movement, his fingers digging underneath your thighs as he lays you down on the hood of the nearest car, "yoongi-! you can't just-"
"shush!" yoongi hisses, pressing his lips against yours to shut you up promptly
"mmvph-"
it doesn't take you very long to melt into the kiss once you realize you haven't kissed yoongi like this in like a week and a half and you can't help but smile at the familiar faint taste of cherry you're getting from him
yoongi's warm hand slides down from your waist so he can hitch your left leg up against his hip, one of your heels slipping from your foot and clattering onto the floor
your senses are so clouded with yoongi cherry yoongi cherry that you nearly forget the two of you aren't alone (and also, all of this is definitely being recorded on the security cameras right now)
"hey, so- i- i'm gonna get going-" lisa announces loudly as she stands at a good distance away from the two of you, her eyes looking up towards the ceiling so that she doesn't have to watch the way yoongi's kissing down your neck, "i have to check out of my hotel, so-"
"yeah, sounds good!" yoongi pulls away for a second and shoots a quick thumbs up over his shoulder, "see you later, pal!"
"bye, lisa!" you chime in, giving her a wave even though she isn't looking at you and is really trying to double-time it to her car, "it was so nice meeting you!"
the two of you watch silently as lisa practically leaps into her mustang, the sound of the engine revving before she quickly speeds off like she just remembered she left the oven on at home
you turn your head to look up at yoongi before scoffing lightly, hooking a finger against his chain to pull him back down towards you, "you're ridiculous, you know that?"
"yeah, i know-" yoongi's nose crinkles before he offers you a boyish smirk and a half-hearted shrug, "you love it, though."
🎙️help me help you make your wishes come true (send me a request!) ✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!) 💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles like this one!) 🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)
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mellohidisc · 3 years
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╰ ☆ ╮𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 - discord au ✰⋆
1.2k 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 | 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏
𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: "𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘦, 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮." // "𝘓𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳."
𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖘: 5/5 𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴 || 𝘺/𝘯 & 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱
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I plopped my bag on my unmade and definitely in need of a wash bedsheets. I looked down on it, scrunching my nose seeing blemish marks upon my white sheets. Don’t ask me what it is, maybe dirt? Marker? Maybe the last drops of a monster energy drink that I chucked across my room into the garbage can. I’m not too sure what exactly it is to be quite honest. I’ve been so busy and tired, and the state of my bedroom defiantly showed it. University is hard, especially when it isn’t your only responsibility. With all the homework, my job and trying to keep my long-distance relationship above water it is especially hard.
But for once, the world was on my side. It was the weekend, I didnt have work and nothing due soon for school. I could get a rest, fucking finally. I walked my self over to my desk, and sat down in the chair. Unlike George and his streamer friends with these super expensive duel monitor and pc set up bullshit, I just had my laptop, and fuck Dream for making fun of me for it. I unfolded it, pressing the power on button. I watched as it slowly booted up.
Okay, maybe Dream is right but still fuck him.
I refuse to give that man the satisfaction of saying "I told you so." After waiting for a few to let it boot up all the way, I clicked through onto discord.
sex havers and y/n.
fucking idiots, all five of them.
looking over to the voice channels i saw them all in vc 2. I pondered, and questioned if I was mentally stable enough to listen to karl and quackity scream into my ear. I knew the answer was no but...oh, my finger slipped.
"y/n!" karl yelped with excitement. I felt a second wind rip through my body. that was the effect these boys had on you, if you think you're tired you're actually not.
"hi george." i said brightly, knowing it would offend karl greatly.
"hi hun." he said shortly, taking me off guard. i could hear him slamming on his keyboard.
"what are you playing?" i asked, going to click on his discord profile to find out.
"phasmaphobia, come save me from karl. he's been screaming the whole time in the lobby."
"hell no babe, you're on your own im sorry."
"for once, i agree with them." dream chimed in, making me roll my eyes and make a fake gagging noise at him.
dream has one of the kindest hearts i know of. we just fucked around with each other, but we could never seriously hate each other. he was like a brother to me, and no not one of those weird fucked up "i have a crush on my boyfriends best friend" things, but just a genuine great friend.
my thoughts we're interrupted by a loud scream from sapnap, and quackity and karl yelling run. I winced, smashing the volume down button on my laptop.
"alright nope! no no im done! i am closing the game." george said frantically, you laughed as you watched his discord status change.
"awe did the ghostie boy scare you?" i tease gently, testing the waters. with george sometimes, i could never tell when the teasing would be too much.
before he could anwser, i saw karls face appear on my computer screen making me giggle. he had the camera zoomed all the way into his face, staring dead into the camera.
"george..." he growled lowly, making you laugh.
"yes karl?" george asked innocently.
"SCREW YOU!"
the whole call bursted into laughter, i watched my screen go from only karl to karl and quackity.
oh dear god...
anytime alex has his camera on we knew we were in for it.
i watched quackity as he grabbed a stuffed pillow from behind him, and a pair of scissors off his desk.
"george listen- listen to me. this pillow-" he waved it in front of the camera.
"this is you. now this is a pair of scissors." he proceeded to wave them in front of the camera also.
"now george, i want you to turn your camera on for me."
george groaned in protest.
"why-"
"SHUT UP AND DO IT!" quackity yelled, i whined at him to shut the hell up.
I watched the screen grow again into three cameras on, butterflies filling my stomach as I saw george's smile. sometimes it just feels so surreal to me, how he gave me the time of the day really. when I first meet him he didn't seem like the type to date anyone, and if he did he would have been the type to forget he was dating someone and not answer for days.
yet he proved me wrong.
being with george has been one of the best relationships i've been in. he was kind and caring, and yeah he had a hard times being comforting but he showed his compassion in other ways. whether it be a meme he made himself to make me laugh, or a something as small as sending me a cat video link.
"y/n! turn on your camera." sapnap demanded, making you frown your brows.
"what! why? since when did you have yours on sap?"
"well if you weren't day dreaming ab mr gog mister over here you would have saw me put it on."
I rolled your eyes. I scanned my bedroom and made a face. It is a fucking mess in here.
"okay but dream doesn't have his on." i point out, knowing that wasn't going to help me.
"yeah thats because its dream." karl retorted.
"turn it on."
"turn it on."
"turn it on."
The four of them stared to chant, as dream laughed in the background.
"I fucking hate you guys." I groaned, hitting the camera button on discord.
Quackity placed the bear and scissors down, standing up out of his seat to lean closer to the computer screen.
"holy shit y/n! did a hurricane come through your room or something?" he laughed, half jokingly.
the boys knew they couldn't genuinely say shit, after all they are boys.
"oh fuck off. i would love to see your bedroom."
"i guess this makes me the organized one in the relationship." george says proudly, gleaming with joy.
the boys and i laughed at him, watching his mouth slowly open wide and a look of disbelief spreading across his face.
"what! why are you laughing?"
"george, you and i both know you are the least organized person in the world." dream told him.
i giggled watching georges reactions to their comments. his mannerisms were apart of his humor, the hand gestures and the facial expressions.
"no okay no guys please. listen-"
"guys pleaseeee" sapnap whinned mockingly, sending us all into laughter.
"screw off! babe tell them how organized i am!" he yelled through a laugh.
my eyes widened, fuck. you tried quickly to think of a lie to make him look stupid but good at the same time.
"last night he ate his fruit loops by color." i said, nodding trying to sell it.
"HES FUCKING COLOR BLIND YOU LIAR!" dream yelled loudly.
i covered my mouth from laughing so hard. holy shit. thank god i dont have anything to do tomorrow its going to be a long night.
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Text
Stay Peachy: Kwamibuster
Summary: With Ladybug out of commission Chat Noir is the only one who can stop Kwamibuster... If only everyone would just work with him here!
---------------------------------
"Let me get this straight. Tikki's captured. Ladybug's powerless and captured, I was this close to losing you too but you won't tell me where Master Fu is? Am I missing anything?" Adrien asked Plagg.
Plagg twitched nervously. "But- but-"
"You have five seconds to give me a good alternative or we're going to see Fu," Adrien announced.
"You could distract Kwamibuster while Ladybug escapes!" Plagg tried.
Adrien crossed his arms and glared. "I said a good alternative! You getting caught isn't good for anyone!"
"Might be good for Ladybug?" Plagg shrugged his arms and gave his most convincing grin.
"Sure! I'll just hand Papillon the other kwami he needs while I have to use a banana suit to protect my identity or something!" Adrien replied sarcastically.
"You'd love that wouldn't you." Plagg knew Adrien. There was a good chance-
The sound of a door being blown off it's hinges echoed down the hallway as Kwamibuster started searching the floor they were on. "Where are you, little cat? I already have a ladybug for my insect collection. Now I just need a small mammal!"
Plagg gave his best kitty cat eyes.
Adrien didn't budge.
Plagg's arms drooped. "Okay, okay! Let's just get outa here first!"
"Knew you'd see things my way." Adrien smirked.
---------------
Master Fu was having a nice, calming, afternoon tea with Wayzz when there was an insistent banging at his door. Wayzz hiding at the sound.
The Guardian sighed. "Who could that be?"
The banging got louder.
"Patience! I am coming! What's the big-"
A blond headed blur shot in and slammed the door shut.
"So this is where you live. Nice place ya got here. Ladybug's in trouble and I need more Miraculous!" Adrien's words tumbling out in a rush as his heartbeat jumped up his throat. Maybe I should have used the window.
"Chat Noir!?" Fu's eyes nearly popping out of his head in surprise.
"Sorry, Master." Plagg appeared, uncharacteristically serious, ears low. "It was an emergency."
"Plagg!?" This was unprecedented! Yes, the Kwami of Destruction was the most free spirited of those in the Miracle Box. But even he knew the importance of secrecy! "What are you doing-"
"Ladybug's in trouble! I just said that!" Adrien supposed he could have worded it better... But also: Ladybug was in trouble! And he was in a hurry!
The Guardian glanced from boy to kwami. Who nodded. "Very well," Fu conceded. Going to the gramophone and entering the code. Bringing out the Miracle Box which he set in its usual place when Marinette came. "Adrien Agreste, choose an ally to help you on this mission. Remember that they mist return the Miraculous once the mission is complete."
Adrien stared as the Miracle Box opened. Kneeling down in imitation of the Guardian's pose. He hadn't known there were so many Miraculous! One of them surely had the power to help! Only...
"What is it Chat Noir?"
Adrien looked up at Master Fu's face. "I dunno what most of these do."
The Guardian sighed. "This is exactly why it should be Ladybug who chooses the temporary hero."
"Hey, it's not my fault you decided she was the only one who could know things!" So this is what being Chat Noir without the mask felt like. "I'm-" Adrien paused as a thought hit him. "Oh. Oh!"
"... Yes?" Master Fu prompted.
"I just realized how dumb it is that I'm not supposed to know the temporary heroes secret identities."
Fu blinked. "Excuse me?"
Adrien shook his head to get his thought process back on track. "Anyway!"
"Chat Noir, what did you mean by-"
"No time!" Adrien pointed at the Miraculous. "Teach!"
Grumbling something about manners Fu acquiesced.
Skipping over the ones Adrien already knew the Guardian quickly ran down the list. The Pig could show you your deepest desire? Seemed like it'd be a good distraction. The Dragon had how many abilities!? Overpowered but okay. The Mouse could make little copies of you. Heh, that sounded adorable but-
"That's it!" Adrien interrupted Fu to grab the Fox and Mouse Miraculous. Which he promptly put on.
"What are you doing!?" The Guardian exclaimed. "No holder has ever used three Miraculous before! It's too dangerous!"
"Well, I don't know who Rena Rouge is and I'm not gonna spend any more time looking!" Adrien turned to the materializing Fox and Mouse kwamis. "Sorry, we're in a bit of a hurry."
"Oh, aren't we always? Name's Trixx."
"Mullo!"
"Alright. Mullo, transforme-moi!"
Multimouse took a moment to adjust to the unfamiliar magic of his new suit.
"I really don't think this is the best course of action," Fu said, attempting to dissuade the young boy.
"Relax, Master! I'll keep him out of trouble!" Trixx announced.
Multimouse nodded as he opened a window. "Thanks. Now, c'mon Trixx, Plagg. I'll explain the plan on the way!" So saying, he launched himself skyward.
Wayzz finally emerged from his hiding place, floating towards his holder.
Fu looked at his kwami. "Oh, I hope he doesn't collapse on the way."
---------------
"True or false? Ladybug has disguised herself as Mr. Banana!"
Marinette was not having a good day. First, Chat Noir's kwami almost reveals her identity. Then, Tikki got captured! And now that tomcat was nowhere in sight. Marinette had barely escaped from Kwamibuster the first time and now she was cornered mere meters from the exit!
"Uh, stay peachy?!" Marinette ran for it.
But Kwamibuster leapt over her and grabbed her wrist. "You can't get away from me!"
"CHARGE!"
From the doorway came a whole swarm of kwamis! Flitting about Kwamibuster and distracting her enough for Marinette to get away.
"You can't get away from me!" Kwamibuster chased after them as they sped off. "You're no match for Kwamibuster!"
"Ladybug!"
Turning around, Marinette saw Plagg and a little guy holding onto his ears. She blinked, this was the first time she saw the Mouse Miraculous in action.
"It's me!" he declared, grinning. "Chat Noir! Or Multimouse, I guess."
"Chat Noir!?" But that meant- No, no, she could panic about that later. "Well, then you must need my Miraculous." Marinette reached for her earrings.
"Uh, no? Why would you think that?"
"Because... Nevermind. What's the plan?"
Multimouse winked. "You'll see. Make your way back to the roof!" And zipped away before Ladybug could ask more questions.
"... A Chat Noir plan. This oughta be interesting."
---------------
"I will capture you all!"
Kwamibuster laughed maniacally as she shot her beam at the Plagg reskins. Made by Multifox with his Mirage. And that wasn't the only part of the illusion.
"I have to say. I think Ladybug will be impressed," Plagg stated. Floating directly above the supervillain so she would need to crane her neck straight up to spot them.
"It has to work first," Multimouse replied. Still standing on top of Plagg's head. His small army made their way into position.
Now!
Multimouse's invisible doubles launched their indestructible ropes at Kwamibuster. Becoming visible as they wrapped her up like Gulliver on Lilliput.
"What!? What's going on!? Oof!" She toppled none too gently.
Wasting no time Plagg zipped down.
"No! You can't beat Kwamibuster!" She freed her blaster hand.
"Mullo, Plagg, unify!"
"Aha!" Twisting upwards she aimed the beam at Multimouse.
"Cataclysm!"
Adrien's power touched the tip of her barrel and the rust spread from it to her pack. Freeing Tikki as dark mist transformed Kwamibuster back into Mme. Mendeleiev.
Adrien merged himself back together as the akuma flew past him. "Uh, Ladybug!"
A red blur shot out and caught the akuma before it could get far. Ladybug releasing a white butterfly in its place.
Multimouse grinned. "Perfect timing as always, My Lady."
"I dunno about that." Ladybug looked around at the destroyed rooftop.
"You think it'll work without a Lucky Charm?" Multimouse asked, following her train of thought.
Ladybug looked at her yo-yo. "The akuma was purified so it should." Throwing it skyward with a little more strength than usual she called out the words. "Miraculous Ladybug!"
The cure swept around them as Ladybug's yo-yo fell back into her hands.
"Knew you could do it," Multimouse praised. "Now, I've got some errands to run-" he tapped the two Miraculous necklaces "-so you take care of Mme. Mendeleiev."
He half turned. "Oh! And sorry about my kwami. No idea what he was doing at that primary school."
"It was a- lycée, yeah. Lycée."
"Right!" He grinned. "A lycée." Totally not a collège. Giving Ladybug a two finger salute he leapt off the tower. Mme. Mendeleiev's insistence on the validity of her scientific discovery fading behind him.
---------------
Adrien held out his index finger to shake the kwamis' hands. "You were both a big help! Thanks."
"You weren't so bad yourself, Chat Noir," Trixx grinned.
"Yeah!" Mullo agreed. "Usually Plagg's holders are no fun but you ran circles around that kwami snatcher!"
Adrien blushed a little at their praise. "Hope we can work together again someday." The kwamis waved as they reentered their Miraculous.
Master Fu closed the Miracle Box once Adrien placed them back inside. Returning it to its hiding place. "It is quite impressive that you withstood the power of three Miraculous long enough to accomplish your task."
"... Actually it was super easy. Barely an inconvenience."
The Guardian blinked. "What?"
Adrien nodded. "Yeah, I don't think occasionally using two or three Miraculous at once is all that dangerous. Maybe if you wore a whole bunch of 'em. But why would you do that?"
Fu processed that for a bit.
Adrien sipped from his tea, awkwardly. "... So does this mean I finally get Guardian training?"
Master Fu nearly slipped as he sat back down. "Huh?"
"I mean, I already know where you are. And we've seen that if Ladybug is compromised it's better if I know what to do," Adrien reasoned out logically.
"I... That is... Uh..." Fu looked desperately at Plagg, who was gorging himself on cheese.
"Hey, don't look at me. Kid's got a point." Plagg swallowed another wedge of Camembert.
Fu slumped with a sigh. Clearly outmaneuvered. "Where should we start?"
"Potions!" Adrien exclaimed, eyes sparkling. This was going to be fun. He could feel it!
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astro-rain · 3 years
Text
delicate; b.barnes
chapter six - “lake, the sequel”
delicate masterlist
word count: 1.7k
synopsis: reader seeks out bucky after his dramatic exit and they find themselves earnestly conversing... back at the lake
pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader
[A/N]: this story is available on my wattpad as a bucky x OC fic @ / typicaldaze :)
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He didn't like this feeling. No, he didn't like this feeling at all. He hated it, in fact. It was betrayal, bodily betrayal. He just could not sit in that room any longer or he would've peeled his skin off. His lungs felt as if they were bound with barbed wire and the state of his stomach had him worried he was going to throw up. Most of all he felt guilty. How could he have just stormed out of the room like that? She was going to hate him now. How could he let this happen?
He was thinking this over whilst sitting at the lake, hands in the grass, trying to distract the physical body from the mental cacophony he had just endured. He had somehow found his way there after leaving Y/N. These extremely unpleasant sensations were unfamiliar. Was he sick? Could he have been drugged? He was so confused. Bucky realized he seemed to be confused most of the time. Following that realization, he became mildly pissed off.
The super soldier stared out at the lake. It was a calm day, the water tranquil and clear. It was a stark contrast against his stress. He leaned forward and looked into the water at his reflection.
"Damn," he said out loud.
Is that really what I look like now?
His eyes traced over the long shaggy hair, dark under eyes, and the subtle but noticeable worry lines. This sight reminded him of when he broke the mirror at his old place in Bucharest. Now he remembered why. God, he looked as fucked up as he was. He leaned back and tossed a stone at where his reflection had been.
A deep sigh left his lungs, which were now conveniently working properly.
"Fuckers," he muttered, referring to the mercurial organs.
He had spent nearly two years alone in Bucharest, and he had grown accustomed to living in this new body. He was always on edge, that much he could tell. However, he was never too introspective; he never thought about his feelings or his behavior. All he was focused on was surviving. When there is more to life than survival, that's when things get complicated... not that they weren't complicated before. God, he was running in circles inside his own mind. His scarred and ruined and manipulated mind that resided in this body that was used as a tool for destruction and violence and death-
"Hey."
His head whipped around, startled out of his thought frenzy. Always on edge. Mentally, he shook his head in disappointment.
"Oh! (Y/N)!"
He stood up immediately. "Listen, I'm so sorry about before, I don't know what-"
"It's okay," she said quickly, holding up her hands. "Bucky, you do not need to apologize, everything is totally fine."
He was taken aback. Words didn't seem to work.
"I'm not mad if that's what you were thinking," she said.
"You're not?"
"No, of course not. If anything I was worried."
"I- Worried?"
"Yes, you were clearly in distress, and that room was the last place you wanted to be. I'm glad you found your way back here because you look much better now," (Y/N) explained with earnest eyes.
She could tell he was freaked out? She probably thinks he's insane.
"Yeah, I... I think I'm better now."
He was far from okay, but definitely better than before.
The psychologist sat down next to where he was standing. He didn't move, but looked down at her.
"I don't think it'd be wise to leave you alone here considering you're supposed to be in a session with me right now and you can't go anywhere without an escort. It would most likely lead to suspicion and then trouble you don't need. I'm going to stay with you. We can continue the session if you'd like, but if not we can just sit."
She said this all while looking straight forward at the water.
In all honesty he wasn't sure what to say, so he settled with a breathy, "Okay," before sitting down next to her.
"I'm getting the vibe that this is more of a just sit situation..."
"Yeah... I think I'm all therapy-ed out for today," Bucky said in a meek attempt at a joke.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw a wide smile. He then realized that she didn't know he could see it, and that's why this smile seemed different. Most differents in Bucky's life hadn't been outstandingly pleasant. But this was a welcome different. This was a good different. It was genuine and unbridled. That was the most open he'd ever seen her.
Every now and then he forgot that he was a literal trained super spy. He may not have any PhD's, but he had his own way of reading behavior, cues, and subtleties. Perhaps he'd make an effort to be more observant. Perhaps he wanted to learn a little more about what else was behind this new different.
A few beats of comfortable silence passed before he heard the word again.
"Hey," (Y/N) started softly. "I'm sorry if I went a little too far today. I know I said our first session wouldn't be much, but I realize I was pushing too far."
"Oh, it's okay," Bucky replied, looking down at the grass between his knees. "I think it's more my fault anyway. It's not like the questions were super intense."
He let out a loaded sigh. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Bucky it's really okay. If it's anyone's fault it's mine. This whole process is supposed to be based on your comfort levels and at your own pace. And there's nothing wrong with you. Your reaction was completely normal given the circumstances."
Bucky wasn't terribly familiar with reassurance. He turned his head, looking at her dead on. She was so genuine, like she knew all of what she was saying was the all encompassing truth.
Echoes of different combinations of "there's nothing wrong with you" and "completely normal" and "your own pace" flitted around inside him until they melted into a feeling he hadn't felt in so long: hope. It was horrifying... yet it gave him a kind of relief he didn't know he could feel.
The super soldier then realized that (Y/N) was looking right back at him dead on. He was about to stumble through some sort of apology for staring or thankful expression for her kindness, but he noticed that she didn't look like she was necessarily waiting for a response. She was just... looking.
Bucky tried to say something, anything. But he just couldn't seem to pull his eyes away. In this brief moment, he felt crystallized. His conscious, logical brain was somewhere far away, hypnotized by the stillness of the moment. It was only a few seconds, but somehow felt longer. These very few seconds of mental sedation were soon over.
Speak, idiot.
He snapped back to reality, suddenly finding himself inspecting at the grass below him.
"Thank you."
"Of course," she replied without missing a beat. Her tone of voice was water soft.
"(Y/N), do you... do you know what happened with me earlier?" he asked, cautiously. "Like, what was wrong- I mean, not wrong but why I-"
He sighed frustratingly, cutting himself off.
Her face was patient, but she was waiting for a description of something he didn't know how to describe.
"I know I said we were done for today, but I-I don't know how to explain it, and I want to know what it is," he confessed.
"I think you had an anxiety attack."
Anxiety? That couldn't be right. There's no way that could've been from being nervous.
"What?" he asked incredulously.
"Anxiety. It seemed as though you were experiencing high amounts of anxiety. Most people get nervous at times, but those tiny amounts are normal. But, some other people are a lot more nervous a lot more of the time. Sometimes, these peoples' anxiety can get particularly high and be so overwhelming that their body kinda takes over, and they can experience really uncomfortable physical symptoms, and this can turn into an anxiety attack."
"I thought I was... sick or... or drugged or something."
"Well, I'm almost certain you weren't drugged, and I'm pretty sure you can't even get sick."
"Oh."
He honestly didn't know what to say.
"Bucky," she looked straight at him again and he almost felt himself slipping. "In terms of psychology, a lot has progressed since the 40's. I'm not sure how anxiety was presented or studied then, but there's really a lot more to it than people think. And honestly, given your situation, it would be strange if you didn't develop an anxiety disorder."
Anxiety disorder?
"Anxiety disorder? I have that?"
"Well, again, I think we have to do more work to confirm, but that's what it seems like."
"I thought you said I had PTSD?"
"I do. I think you have both."
Christ.
"Wow, I'm a whole sack 'a problems, aren't I?" he chuckled, giving up on trying to internally oppose his short comings.
"You're not a problem, Buck. You had to deal with a whole sack of problems, though," she smiled.
The nickname didn't miss his radar. Was that the first time she's called him that? He ignored how he liked it.
"That's for damn sure."
They conversed for a while after that, and didn't seem to notice how late it was until the sun began to set. The ending day's reflection on the water created an aura so relaxing Bucky didn't want to move. But alas, reality calls.
(Y/N) stood up. "If you're not back soon, they'll start looking for you. We should probably get going."
Bucky stood up, too, following her request.
"I'll walk you back to your quarters," she offered.
And so they went, conversation continuing naturally, as if they were old friends. Bucky found it strange that someone he knew so little was so easy to talk to. He brushed it off as some inherent therapist quality.
He still found her hard to read although he knew her more with each passing word between them.
Despite all of this, the walk back, with cool air, a melting sky, and languid steps, was the best thing he had experienced since coming out of cryo. His memory may be spotty, and his mind may be rough, but this, this he was sure of.
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softsebnbuckystan · 3 years
Text
Soul ties - Part 12 (Bucky Barnes au)
“Send your dreams where nobody hides
Give your tears to the tide”
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Rushing to the compound felt surreal. Sam was driving as fast as he could as you were already thinking of the most efficient way to deal  with the situation. You were a doctor in biology and chemistry. Healing was a piece of cake for you. This shouldn't be any different.
"What injury did he suffer?" you asked, hiding the panic in your voice and leaving a crack in the car window to get some fresh air.
"Stab wound. It's pretty bad."
You scratched your forehead, doing your best not to give any thought to the pain Bucky was most likely going through.
"He was injected with the same serum as Steve, meaning he has the same healing process as him. One simple stab wound shouldn't be 'bad', so it has to be more than that."
Sam's grip on the stirring wheel tightened. He kept looking straight away, but he squeezed your hand once.
"Steve was freaked out. He might've overestimated the damage."
"Or underestimated. They might be super soldiers, Sam, but that doesn't make them invincible."
"I know."
"Sorry. I shouldn't be so dry. I'm just thinking. If..."
"We're almost there," he said, cutting you off. "I know the way you work, and I'm convinced you'll know what to do as soon as you see him."
The wind in your hair wasn't enough to calm you down and Sam had barely stopped the car when  you opened the door and ran to the compound. You were moving so fast your throat and lungs were burning, as you were not used to such physical exercises. You'd never been shaped for the field, nor had you ever wanted to be. You barged in the lab and put your hair up in a ponytail to keep it away from your face. Bucky was lying on a metal table :  you noticed he was pressing the side of his abdomen. Blood had stained his tight grey shirt. The blood on his face and shoulders, however, you concluded came from Steve carrying him. His eyes were open : good. After putting on sterilised gloves, you grabbed a pair of scissors and cut through his shirt. You hadn't even noticed Steve and Bruce's presence.
"Go, both of you," you told them as you assessed the wound, ignoring how Bucky's mouth was twisted with pain. "I've got this."
Bruce didn't need to be told twice : he trusted your skills with his life. It might have been Steve's case as well, but leaving his friend's side seemed harder for him to do.
"Steve, go. I won't be able to focus."
Your stern voice was what finally made him leave the room, closing the doors behind him. Bucky, still lying down, grabbed your wrist, staining the white gloves with red.
"It's bad, isn't it?" he asked.
"Nothing I can't fix," you assured him. You'd switched to working mode as soon as you'd seen him, but totally getting rid of your emotions wasn't the easiest thing to do.
"Your voice is shaking," he noted. "I.." – He let out a small grunt. – "Are you sure you're okay?"
You let out a sarcastic and nervous scoff. "Yeah, my voice is shaky but my hands are not. I'm the one who should ask if you're okay. Now shut up, unless I ask you something."
You didn't pay attention to his furrowed brows or confused look. The only thing you were looking for, while applying pressure to his wounds, was any particular sign of pain. He wasn't hiding it, unlike some of your teammates (Natasha came to your mind).
"It's deep," you explained. "Can you press this cloth for a second?"
He nodded and immediately got to it, allowing you to grab a scanner to see if any vital organs or blood canals had been severed. Locating the most damaged canal took you two seconds. You had no time for an anaesthesia ; you didn't have much doubt about Bucky's ability to bear pain. You used clamps to keep the wound open.
"This might itch," you said as you grabbed the electrocautery and applied it to the bleeding canal. You knew his face was contorted with pain, but you couldn't let your soft side win in those situations. Seeing people in pain was the hardest part of your job.
The rest of the surgery went on in silence, aside from Bucky's occasional grunt or sigh. Once you were done stitching the wound, you helped him sit up and bandaged the area. You wiped the sweat on your forehead with a towel, moving wet streaks of hair out of the way. Caring for this spectacular stab wound had taken around two hours, so you allowed yourself to drink some water before handing Bucky the bottle and tending to his other scratches. He probably didn't need this kind of medical assistance, but leaving him scathed was out of the picture.
"You need to hydrate yourself."
He took a long sip as you cleaned the multiple scratches he had on his right harm. His shoulder had taken the most of it, leading you to think he'd fallen from a higher place.
"What happened?" you finally asked. "I thought this was supposed to be an easy mission."
Now that you didn't need to focus as much and that the overall fear for Bucky's safety had passed, tears were threatening to come to your eyes.
"It was. Doesn't mean those guys weren't jerks."
"Bucky," – you carefully captured his chin between your fingers to make him look at you – "what happened?"
"Natasha got in harm's way. I knew she couldn't take it as good as me. It was the smart play."
"No, it was the bold, reckless way," you retorted. "You have no idea what Steve's call put me through. I thought..."
"Hey, I'm okay. Thanks to you," he whispered as he stroked your cheek. "I couldn't let them hurt someone who might've died. I knew I'd come out of this, that's why I did it."
You lowered your gaze and your eyes lingered on the numerous scars his naked torso displayed. You traced some of them with your fingers : on his collarbone, on his abdominal muscles, on his shoulders, and so on. You could tell there was a story behind each of these, and you assumed they were stories he would rather not talk about.
"I'm sorry you had to see those," he said. It was barely a whisper, so low you weren't sure you'd heard it right. "They're from my time with H.Y.D.R.A."
"Don't be sorry. Remember what you asked me about your arm?" – He nodded. – "This is no different. It's you, and that's all I care about."
You ran a hand through his hair : it'd been hardened by dried blood in some places. You closed your eyes and laid a kiss on his forehead before going to one of the cupboards to get him a lab coat. A warm sensation made its way to your stomach as you realised how easy it was being with him, how natural it seemed, how meant-to-be it felt, how...
"Wear this," you told him. "We need to do something about all this blood."
As if they'd been expecting you to come out, Steve, Nat and Sam jumped to their feet when you  opened the door. Bucky tried getting up on his own as well, but you grabbed his arm just as fast.
"You might be healing fast, Sergeant Barnes, but I'm not keeping you out of my sight just yet," you joked lightly.
Bucky was holding the coat closed over his chest, his other hand squeezing your back in gratitude.
"How are you, Buck?" Steve asked.
"Good, don't worry. 'T was just a scratch."
You gave him a grave look. "It was not a simple scratch," you corrected, "but he's fine. All I ask is that you rest for today. That should be enough, with your metabolism."
"Go rest, now, or you won't hear the end of it with this one," Sam said, gesturing in your direction.
"He's right," Natasha joined in. "She's secretly quite bossy."
You smiled to her. "I have to be! None of you listen to medical advice, so I have to be assertive. It's for your own good."
"And we love you for it," Steve added with a grin. "Now go put this guy to bed."
Bucky couldn't help but chuckle lightly, making him reach for his healing wound. It was obviously still hurting a little. You finally left the others and took him to your bathroom. Your bathtub was lower than the floor, which allowed you to sit on the edge as Bucky got in, after taking off his clothes, staying in his underwear. None of you spoke a word as you washed his hair and rubbed the remaining blood off of his skin. You ended up plunging your legs in the tub and let Bucky rest his head on your knees as you ran your fingers through his hair, silence embracing you both.
"Are you still hurting?" you asked.
"Only a little." He seized one of your hands and kissed your fingers. "Thank you," he added.
"Don't thank me, I'm doing what I vowed to do."
A smile made its way to Bucky's face as he sat up and turned around. "Do you wash every single of your patients' hair?"
You shook your head. "No. That's the unexpected, coffee-spilling, caring soulmate package."
He looked hesitant for the smallest second before extending his arms, waiting for a hug.
"You're soaked," were the only  words to come out of your mouth.
"Do you care? Your pants are already in the water, so..."
"Might as well," you said, finishing his sentence. You leaned on the bathtub's edge as your knees hit the bottom. Resting on your arms, you were only a few inches away from Bucky's face. You pressed your lips against his and closed your eyes, wondering what allowed it to feel so good. You didn't give a damn about your clothes anymore and they were bloody anyway, so you broke the kiss and laid in Bucky's arms, resting your head on his chest and your legs entangling. You'd made sure the water was warm enough and it still hadn't cooled off, thankfully.
"We probably shouldn't stay in here," you admitted. "We might just fall asleep and drown."
"Now that would be a shame," he agreed. "Just a few more minutes then. Please?"
You tilted your head up to look him in the eyes and smirked.
"I'll give you all the minutes you want, Buck."
--- Damn, I sure loved writing this part. I hope you liked it too! Part 13 will be the last one. :)
Tag list : @ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @bluemoon-icecream @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3 @livingonkpop @kaitieskidmore1
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onyxoverride · 3 years
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“Also??? I am ridiculous. You didn’t had the time to answer my other ramblings about him I AM SO FUCKING SORRY HAHAHAH I just don’t know nowhere else where to go with this shit. So I am just dropping this by you, bc I know your are going to make the most of it and you don’t mind ( or at least I hope so???) Anyways please never feel forced or pressured to answer these because they are just brainrot.
So guys like Twitch Streamer!Zeke huh??? I didn’t plan on add something but some of the other ideas really inspired me so I will extend my thoughts a little lol.
Okay so just imagine, after a few months of playing and streaming with Zeke everyday, he starts to think (he doesn’t do that all the time no no). There are some other Steamers out there who he often plays with and who you Are often playing with. So he starts building a group, you helping him adding members to them. And then you make a twitch streamer house. You all pay a part of it and gather all your Gaming stuff there. Switches, Playstations, computers, everything all over the place. Some even start vlogging and blogging, filming videos to upload them on YouTube. Going out together and eating some from the chat recommended restaurants is now on video too. It blows up like crazy. Zeke didn‘t plan on this to happen, the be honest, he just wanted a reason to move in with you and get to know you in real life, not only through video games and chatting. Of course he likes the other members too but he is found in your room, playing games together and even making music. Because he likes to mess around on the keyboard and with drums and beats a bit. Creates a lofi song from Time to time.
He starts to get cautious and anxious about his feelings because?? What if you liked him better over VR? What if he is not your type? But all of this is blown away as you end the stream one evening a little earlier than he had thought and started to kiss him, finally making a move. And boy is he happy. Immediately takes a little break from the twitch house to get some personal space with you in his or your apartment. While you guys are gone the house starts to get down into real trouble, members are leaving and new members are added without your or Zeke‘s agreement. As soon as you both find this out you leave it be, moving out and moving together.
And the people are lien O.o? Homies dipped for a few days and now are moved together out of the house?? aRE yA TogEThEr? Zeke and you keep it a secret as long as you want it, he doesn’t mind showing everybody that you are his. And deep down Zeke is very happy because...
Well you can’t suck him off under the desk when he is streaming and playing a game when there are other streamers in the same house right? You can‘t keep his cock nice and warm in your cunt when he making another LoFi song, when you are at the streamer house.
Also i want to add another game Zeke is absolutely bawling about: Fall guys. It’s a hate-love relationship between him and this game. He likes the challenge that comes within it but BOY. The other players. PEOPLE STANDING RIGHT INFRONT OF THE GOAL AND NOT LETTING HIM PASS??? Rage quit. Sometimes he will end the stream then and there when he looses and fuck the shit out of you, taking out his frustrations. But as hard as he is pounding you, he is still sweet. He wants you to call him the best one out there, the only gamer who is as good at beating games as filling up this tight pussy.
If anybody is interested yes this idea is a little inspired by the Twitch Streamer House Offline TV I believe? Some names you may know are Fat, Lily Pichu or Pokemane. They are genuinely funny and if you enjoy video games and some good Humor you should check them out (if you got free time lol). Man. I just noticed that my stories this evening are a little bit more soft & shit?? How did that happen? We need to get back to dirty nasty shit. Gimme a few hours and my brain will combine the nasty and filthy shit for y‘all
Also i would like to know if anybody likes Splatoon 2 as much as I do because I have been loosing my shit & time at this game and I low-key think Zeke would play it too but not for too long but is anybody in the same boat as me? Asking for a friend (no for real anybody know Splatoon 2??????) -🍆”   
Alright sorry again for taking so long to answer, turns out I can't FUCKING READ IF I DONT TAKE MY MEDS beat me up pls
I do not know Splatoon at all 😭 I am sorry but I may check out that YouTube stuff to think about Streamer Zeke some more... hehe
Streamer Zeke who falls head over heels for you. It's absolutely ridiculous. He's suave enough to become your friend, close enough to start this little house of yours with his other friends like Streamer Porco and Streamer Pieck as well as vlogger Reiner and his little brother who plays games but also films skating video.
You work with him to gather this house together, organizing everything (you requested bean bags and Zeke delivered 10x with giant comfortable bean bags.) Eventually you end up catching on to his feelings for you. No, he never really came onto you. Super respectful of you and your space but he does want to be with you a lot, it's how he shows his love -- with buying you things and quality time. Plus, the blush across his face whenever you playfully flirt with him is priceless. And whenever you dress up nice? He can barely be near you. You look so good he cant help it. Even when you wear sweatpants and pajamas he's simping hard. Hearts in his eyes 24/7. He keeps it on the downlow but sometimes it's so obvious especially when you two stream together he acts different. Biting his lips red and raw and a small strawberry blush settled on his cheeks that only few notice.
Then dual streaming together, (are you streaming in the same room? Is that how it works? Probably not but let's just say it us for now,) he's nervous. He can hide it mostly but then when you two finally fall into a softer more viable atmosphere he can finally breathe and be comfortable with you while streaming. Eventually you're cueing off way earlier than he thought but he goes with it smoothly, turning to ask you what's up before you pull him into a kiss.
He's red. Stuttering out "oh-okay" before you pull him into another long winded kiss, leaning over the arm of his chair to kiss him while he's trying to maneuver his chair to face you and trying to keep his lips on yours. He's pined too long to not have his lips on yours in this very moment. Pulling you to stand between his legs and into one of the most heated and loving make-out sessions. Zeke feels like he's a teen again with you twirling the hair at the back of his neck and him playing with the edge of your shirt nervously.
When you pull away, he pouts. Full lipped pout with a whine sticking in his throat, trying to pull you back to him, and who are you to deny him?
He does sneak into your room to mess with you, even during streams to mess with the little sound board, making stupid little songs while you play. It's cute in a an annoying way, shooing him away with a little fly swatter while he giggles, running out the room.
Eventually, Eren is inviting too many people over, inviting others to join the house without Zekes agreement and as much as he tries to talk sense into him, it's no use. So with this secret relationship of yours, cuddling in your room he asks if you two should move out. He's the eldest so it'd make sense even if the house becomes chaos without him and you don't deserve to he left behind. He knows you find his little brother annoying without even saying anything for his sake. You're getting tired of Armin too, to be honest. Mikasa is nice but paired along with the other two it's impossible to get a good conversation with her.
They aren't even aware of you two moving out before the day comes. All the furniture, gaming consoles, electric piano he likes to play, and more. Including two bean bags that weren't ruined.
I can't get this scenario out of my head but imagine him peeking into your separate gaming room at the new apartment, shirtless and in sweats, strategically staying out of the way of the camera and when you glance at him he's smirking. He's tempting you to end stream and pay attention to him now.
And fuck does it work. Trying to end stream with a little smile on your face while Zeke lean against the doorframe. Thing is you don't exactly hit the right button as you get up, leaving the stream playing while you pull him into the room and stumbling onto him whole he leans back onto the couch. Pulling him into a heated kiss with a hand on his throat, dominating him much more than anybody would ever expect.
It's not like you two ever went explicitly public ever. So the stream is blowing up, skyrocking it to numbers you've never seen before Zeke is patting your back to get your attention. You can barely say anything as you go to really turn of the stream. Muttering a sorry with disheveled hair and clothes and swollen lips to match the actions everyone just caught, both you and Zekes phones blowing up with calls and texts from friends.
"Well..." Zeke sighs and leans back with a bittersweet smile, "now everybody knows..."
You sigh with your smacking against his chest, "I'm sorry, I didn't- that was stupid of me."
He just rubs your back and laughs, "well, that may have worked in our favor. Now we don't have to announce it formally, just respond to the reaction of everybody. Though, they got to see me shirtless and you be all sexy on top of me. I don't appreciate that much..."
Because that's only for his eyes to see, and yours as well. Plus, this will get other streamers to stop flirting with you, so that's an advantage in his eyes. Now you can stream as a couple too if you two wanted. But he does like the keep couple things between just the two of you, a clear divide between his romantic life and his streaming and work life which the both of you two appreciate endlessly. Though... the times when those two mix are fun to say the least.
Sitting underneath his desk while he streams is risky but it has his blood pumping so fucking quick. Cock in your mouth, hallowing your cheeks which makes him want to roll his hips but he has to resist. The blush on his face is already suspicious and the moments he pauses or groans only can happen so often before people make jokes about someone being under the desk. But both of you manage, him cumming as quietly as he can into your mouth with the volume of the game turned high. You keep suckling a bit until he's nudging you off his cock while his works his spit covers cock back into his pants, continuing stream for another hour before ending and letting you finally get out from under the desk.
He'll support you from under the desk too but you're much better at keeping your composure for some reason and it pisses him off. Tongue lapping messily at your folds while your thighs are thrown over his shoulders as you stream. After it ends without you orgasming he goes ham. Trapping you in the chair and fingering you with vigor until you're orgasming at least twice. He wants you shaking so he will have it. He wants you babbling and your cum all over his face and won't stop, moaning when you pull his hair and wetting the towel you set down on the chair before anything was started.
He does make lo-fi music. Loves making songs like that and ends up playing them while you two cuddle and during sweet love making sessions. Sometimes really casual, loving sex where it's missionary -- rolling into each other while his beard scratching at your neck and chest, kissing at every part he can reach. Nails scratching at his back and one caressing his hair away from his forehead, just pure loving sex that leaves you both completely satisfied.
No one can have this but each other, completely separated from both of your everyday lives and people you know. Fingers digging into the flesh of your hips until both of you are cumming, teeth nibbling on your lips as you moan. He turns your face to his before swallowing your moans in a kiss, only pulling back to see your blissed out face.
Yeah, he wouldn't trade this for the world.
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elfspectations · 3 years
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Never Let Me Go Discussion [spoilers]
1. Is this a book you would have otherwise read? If not, are you open to similar books in the future? It was in my periphery. I had heard of it before and borrowed the movie from the library, but the DVD froze like 20 mins in so I didn't yet have a grasp on the story and never finished watching it. I like scifi, but my problem with this book was that it wasn't scifi enough. Like the most interesting parts of the book were always just out of reach and covered over by the story of Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy. I feel like this book was written to spark discussion and controversy rather than tell a complete story.
2. Did the story play out in the way you expected, or did it surprise you? I had an inkling it was about clones and organ harvesting but the thing that threw me for a loop was near the end when Miss Emily said they were trying to prove they had souls. I've always been of the opinion that everything that's alive has a soul, so it was really annoying that that was the crux and the fact that Miss Emily and Madame weren't necessarily trying to stop the organ harvesting, but just trying to prove that the clones should be treated nicely??? Also how does making art prove you have a soul? This part was just glanced over very quickly and it was really annoying even though I feel like it was kind of integral to the plot and should have been fleshed out more. Also, it annoyed me how all these clone kids just accepted their fate. Nobody tried to run away because they were so brainwashed about their purpose of being grown for organ harvesting. This book was like the movie The Island but with zero action and adventure.
3. Which scene stood out most to you? Why? Like everytime Ruth was a huge B to Kathy I was thinking "why are you friends with her?" But at the end when Ruth confesses that she was only dating Tommy to keep him away from Kathy I almost lost it. I was so mad because the way the rest of the book had gone I knew Kathy and Tommy weren't going to end up together or be able to get a deferral. Ruth was just the worst and I bet she stole Kathy's cassette tape and the reason why Kathy never found out was because Ruth got rid of her collection when they went to the Cottages.
4. If you had to describe this book in three words, what would they be? Do Not Read :/
5. What do you think of the author's style? Have you read any of their books before? Would you read their work in the future? I didn't mind the conversational/diary entry way it was written, I've read and enjoyed other books written in a similar manner. What bothered me more was the content rather than the style. I've never read any of his other books, but if they're all as anti-climactic as this one I will steer clear.
6. Would you say the characters' personalities changed throughout the story? If so, how did you feel about these changes? Kathy was boring and docile the whole time, she rarely stood up for herself and let Ruth walk all over her. Also she was incredibly sex obsessed but in a very passive way. Ruth had a lot of Big Sister Energy and was super controlling the whole time. The only one with any character development was Tommy where he was aggressive and impulsive at first and when he gets older tries to scale it back. Maybe the book would have been more interesting from his perspective.
7. If you could ask the writer a question, what would it be? What was the inspiration for this novel? And what are you hoping people will take away as the key message?
2. How do you feel about Kathy as a narrator? Do you think first person narration suited this story? I was fine with the first person narrative because it lends to things being revealed as the characters learn about them. But like I said before I think Tommy was a more fleshed out and developed character so maybe the story should have been told from his point of view.
3. The characters were often unnecessarily mean in the way they talked to one another. Why do you think that is? Did this affect your sympathy for them? I just assumed they were mean because they were kids and overall pretty ignorant, most kids don't think before they speak. Thinking about it a little more, it would have put the whole clone organ harvesting scheme in peril if Hailsham taught the kids too much empathy because then they would wonder why no one feels empathy for them and why it's their duty to do the donations.
4. Do you think the donors are a metaphor for something in the real world? Maybe. I'm not sure what the author had in mind but just off the top of my head it could be a metaphor for classism and sweatshops in the global economy. People in typically Western affluent countries don't give much thought to where the stuff they buy in stores and online comes from; kind of how Miss Emily said that the people who receive the organs don't want to think of where they come from. And I don't know how the people who work in the international factories feel, but if I don't like my job and I'm just trying to get by paycheck to paycheck in an affluent Western country, it's probably even more difficult for them especially in places with less worker's rights. Though to be a parallel for classism it wouldn't necessarily need to be about the global economy because systems of economic inequality exist in every country. I mean a specific modern example could be the subject of Amazon workers at fulfillment centers who are told they're lucky to have a job, and the people who order things from Amazon who never think about the workers. Idk, thinking of it through this lens makes the story much more palatable but still rage enducing. Though now my rage is due to global injustices instead of just a boring book.
5. Are dystopian novels something you typically enjoy? How would you say this book compares to other dystopian literature? Dystopian fiction is hit or miss with me, usually I avoid it just because I feel like the world is already a bit dismal and I prefer to read for escape. I hadn't really thought of this book as dystopian fiction at first, but now that you mention it, it definitely is. I think this book is written for people who don't normally read scifi or dystopian novels just because it's very faint at first and gets gradually revealed. So this book is like an intro to dystopia.
Final thoughts: Due to the fact that there was no clone rebellion, I kind of got the feeling that the novel was trying to say something about "everyone having their place in society and needing to accept that" which doesn't sit well with me. Though I haven't done any research into the author's intentions so I'm not sure if that's an accurate take.
@readerbookclub
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babylooneytoonz · 3 years
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Warnings: Bucky has a nightmare, more truths revealed, Dark Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier mode .
Note – The dialogues in 'bold italics' are not mine. These are their quotes from the comics.
Link to Coffee Stains Masterlist here.
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You welcomed this newly found relationship that had blossomed between you and the Winter Soldier. The two of you were inseparable, joint at the hip. If he was at the gym, you were somewhere around, and the two of you couldn't stop either giving giving each other googley eyes, or licking your lips at the sight of the other one; or bicker at something or the other like an old married couple. The Avengers were all used to your sassy comments now, and more so, Steve Rogers. It was funny how he had stopped chastising the two of you when you started using a derogatory language with each other.
"Who the hell keeps their stinky socks in their shoes and does not wash them for over a week?" You threw a glare towards your boyfriend, who was engaged in a hand to hand combat with Steve.
This was a casual scene for the Avengers now; listening to the two of you.
Bucky grunted, muttering something under his breath as he dodged a blow from the Captain and fell to his knees, rolling over his back, trying to avoid Steve's blow.
"Ask her, she doesn't even have that many hair on top of her head, and yet the fucking drain in my bathroom's blocked," he spat, pushing himself up on his feet as he flexed his arms and ducked, grabbing Steve by his waist and slamming him against the ground, making it look as effortless as possible.
You groaned in annoyance, filling up your palm into Sam's bowl of caramel popcorns, ignoring the way he just gave you a look of pure betrayal.
"Hey! That was my popcorns, did you guys see that? This woman just stole my popcorns?"
"Sam–" you turned towards him, your eyes narrowed, as you hissed, "Caramel popcorns aren't good anyway, I'm only doing you a favour by sharing these with you."
"Sam–" Bucky interjected, "this woman has a thing for taking over the things you love the most. She's taken over my wardrobe, and now my bed, last night, she kicked me off the fucking bed," he grunted, his arms held in front of his face as he blocked a punch from Steve.
A series of spins, kicks, blocks and counters followed, and by the next five minutes, the two super soldiers were smirking at each other, drinking water from their chilled water bottles as the two walked up to where you were sprawled on the couch, tossing popcorns carelessly into your mouth.
"Sam, tell your friend, he doesn't have the right to complain, I would be able to fit into my own damn clothes, if he hadn't stuck his dick in me."
"Whoa, hey! You two, knock it off. Listening to the two of you is like taking out dirty laundry, it just keeps getting dirtier," Sam commented, grabbing his bowl of popcorn, when you weren't looking and placing it on the coffee table next to him so you couldn't reach it.
To add a cherry on top of it, little Buchanan Barnes always chose to kick you hard against your ribs at just the weirdest of times.
"Well fuck," you cursed, your face contorting as a scorching, burning pain, something that reminded you of acidity, sizzled from inside of you, and your palm instantly flew to your bump, your body almost doubling over, as the team started to crowd over you, including your boyfriend.
"Well Barnes, I swear to God, if your spawn kicks me one more time .. Oof–" you groaned again, when the rebellious little punk kicked you once again, your palm now kneading over the fabric of your.. Bucky's sports fit t-shirt that you had taken over.
Wanda giggled in glee, leaning over you so she could feel the kicks too, and so did Sam.
Bucky just smirked, his arms crossed over his chest, as he towered over you with a look of triumph washed over his face that you managed to catch, "what you smirking at, Mister?"
"Nothing, atleast my kid knows how to shut you up." He lowered himself next to you, his arm coming to rest around your shoulder as a peace offering and you sighed, leaning into him, letting the rest of the Avengers gush over the kicks while you just took a deep breath and groaned every time the kick became brutal and you felt an urge to slap Bucky for injecting you with his super serum swimmer.
"Pesky bugger," you muttered under your breath, watching your boyfriend grin next to you and run his flesh hand over your stomach, before quickly kissing the back of your head.
"Well, what was that for? I thought I clogged your drain." You grumbled.
"Yeah, you do. But that doesn't mean I don't love you two." He leaned in to quickly peck on your lips before he stood up and threw out his palm towards you and you took it, stepping up to your feet.
"Yeah I feel like a fucking whale," you grumbled as the two of you walked out of the recreation room, towards your apartment.
╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡
You pulled the blanket closer over your body, letting out a soft gush of air as you rolled over on your back. Your ears perked up when you felt slight movements next to you, and your eyes fluttered open.
"Нет, пожалуйста, не делай этого."
You pushed yourself up on your elbows and swiped your palm over your sleepy eyes, trying to listen to the words shooting from your left but you couldn't understand them.
Bucky was most likely having a nightmare.
You leant over him, gently placing your palm over his chest, and your other hand stroking over his sweaty forehead, as you tried reaching him out, "It's alright, Bucky. It's okay, my love. They can't come in here. Wake up."He stirred in his sleep, but your words seemed to be working on him; he visibly relaxed, and his breathing steadied.
You sat hunched over him for a few more minutes, just stroking over his warm head with your fingers, but soon, your back had started hurting, and you felt the sudden urge to pee. Discreetly, you pulled back your hand, pulling the blankets over Bucky's bare chest, as you started sliding out of bed when suddenly, his metal arm found your wrist and he pulled you back, and you tried to pull your hand away, whispering to him, "Bucky, babe.. wake up please. You have to let go of me."
You struggled to pull your wrist away but he just gripped onto it harder, and started mumbling some barely incoherent words , in Russian, "оставляй меня, Natalia." Although you couldn't figure out anything that he had whispered, you had heard just the word you never wanted to hear from Bucky's lips, Natalia. Roughly, you pulled your wrist away from his grip, and slid out of bed, tiptoeing into the bathroom and bolting the door from the inside.
Pulling your underwear down, you lowered yourself onto the WC, and your hands flew to your head, your eyes clenched shut. Your heart was drumming inside your chest, and you were suddenly feeling not so good.
Natalia.
You had a glimpse that James Buchanan Barnes knew Natasha Romanoff from his days at the Red Room, but that's all you knew. There were no details, and never did you feel the need to ask. But you couldn't help it now, it kept stinging at the back of your head, again and again, and you felt you had to know.
"Natasha?" You knocked on her apartment door and stepped back, when you heard a groan from the inside and the shuffling of sheets, before soft footsteps reached your ears and Natasha unlocked the door, rubbing her eyes as she glanced at you, top to bottom.
"Can we talk?"
"Can't it wait?" She grumbled, under her breath, but a part of her knew, that this was bound to happen someday, only she hadn't realized it would be so soon. You were bound to ask questions, but neither she, nor Bucky had thought that it would be so soon.
"He called your name in his sleep, Natalia," you bit back on your tongue and looked away from her, not wanting to break down in front of her but you could see that she was looking at you with concerned, soft eyes and she had moved out of the way, so you could step into the room.You stepped into the dimly lit room, ignoring how Natasha had taken your arm and was now dragging you to her bed.
"I knew this would happen, eventually. I didn't think it would be this soon."
"What are the two of you hiding ? What happened at the Red Room?" Your voice came out broken, and cracked.
"Listen Y/N," Natasha's voice was soft, as she sat down next to you, and reached for your hand, causing you to stiffen in response, but you didn't draw your hand back, you waited for her to tell you, what you didn't know yet.
"You do know that I and Bucky were a part of the Russian Organization."
You stared into the darkness in her room, and hummed in response.
"Well, Barnes was one of my trainers, who trained me to become who I am today," she continued.
You blinked, feeling your eyes start getting glossy, and you forced a laugh.
"This is the non scandalous part of it all, isn't it?"
"There are some things love, there is no point trying to mull over them. Whatever I had with Bucky, it's not there anymore."
"So you had something with him." You pointed out, your lower lip trembling.
"I know ..how he thinks. We were both weapons once.. to be used."
A sudden silence took over the two of you as you two sat there, contemplating when she slowly turned towards you.
"You don't have anything to be worried about. James Buchanan Barnes and Natalia was a one time thing, we couldn't work out, and we realized that we worked together better as friends, and nothing more."
You stood up, straightening Bucky's tshirt, pulling it over your thighs and Natasha followed suite, the two of you making your way towards the door.
"Besides, it's not my place to tell Y/N, this should all come from his mouth, I hope we're good?"
You nodded, looking at her, "yeah." You mumbled in a low voice as you stepped out of her apartment and disappeared out of her sight.
You took a little detour, up on the roof and reached Bucky's apartment almost an hour later. You had expected Bucky to be asleep, but when you stepped in, he was already getting dressed in his jacket by the mirror, and he turned, giving you a look of perplexity.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"I couldn't sleep."
"You could've woken me up."
"I tried to, but you were having a nightmare and you were calling out Natalia's name."
The way he looked at you, it looked like the words had left him. He stared into your eyes, searching for how you were feeling, but all he could see was a hollowness inside of you.
"Listen, I.." he began, but shut his mouth, when you looked away and slowly went to sit by the edge of the bed, withdrawing your gaze from him. It was as if you were stuck underwater, everything was slow to understand as he ran his hands through hair in exasperation.
"There's nothing between the two of us, you know it. You know that I am in love with you."
Although you could sense the sincerity in his words, yet , something at the back of your mind kept nagging at you.
"Then why did you not tell me about your relationship with the Black Widow? Why did you hide it from me?"
He was contemplating whether to walk up to you in the back of his mind. Finally, he took a step closer, and another one until he was walking up to your side of the bed and lowering himself next to you, so the both of you sat side by side, "I just didn't tell ya, because there was nothing to tell. I loved her once, but it was long time ago."
You stood up, as fast as you could with your baby bump, your hands on your back as you glared at him, "how is it so easy for you to say you loved her? Loved? And now you live under the same roof with the woman you used to love."
"With the woman I currently love!"
That came out wrong, Bucky knew that you would interpret his words in the wrong way as you pressed your palm to your lips, trying to suppress the whimper that you wanted to let out.
"Currently? Until another one comes along? And you toss me away?"
"Jesus, you're the first woman I ever fell in love with, ever since things between me and Natalia ended," he tried to explain, trying to reach out so he could take your hand, but you crossed your arms over your chest.
"That's supposed to make me feel better yeah?"
Bucky took a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a brief second and looked up at you again, his eyes expressing a foreign emotion that you had never experienced before. Was it regret? Or was it the same thing that he had with Natasha and did not have with you?
"A long time ago, Natalia Romanova made me remember what it was like to feel human. And they punished us both for that, in different ways," he blinked, his eyes suddenly cold, as though he was lost in a distant memory. "This is why I didn't tell you, because I didnt want you to react this way. We've all had pasts, doll."
"Your past is sleeping on a floor below me right now, while mine is cold in his fucking grave."
You huffed, sniffling slightly, as you grabbed your pillow, and started making your way out, when Bucky stood up, and dashed after you, slamming the door shut so you couldn't leave, "You're overreacting."
"Bucky, I am not in the mood, not right now. We're gonna talk when I've cleared my head, I'm gonna go up to the roof and just clear my head. Please don't follow me."
He nodded, as he didn't want to make this any worse for you. He moved out of your way, and you passed through, dumping your pillow in your own apartment on your way back as you made your way up to the roof. Stars were scattered all over the sky like little snow-flakes in the night. You couldn't help but smile, feeling the wind blow your hair into a tousled mane as you pulled out your phone, and dialled Fury's number.
"Y/N? Is everything alright?"
You didn't know if everything was alright; all you knew was you needed to let this all out, as it was killing you from the inside.
"Fury? Guess what, almost no one gets out of love alive."
"Y/N, what the hell are you talking about? Where's Barnes? What did he– "
"I'm gonna go now. I just need to clear my head. Take care, Fury."
"Y/N–"
You disconnected the call and slid your phone into your pockets. Fury, once your call was abruptly disconnected, called up Bucky, telling him everything that you had just told him. "I'm going to make your life hell Barnes, I don't know what you've done, but I swear, if anything happens to her, and you're the one responsible for it, I will make your life hell."
╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡
"Hey, what's such a cute little pup like you doing out here at the park early in the morning? Don't you have a home kiddo?" A stray little pup had made its way to your bench in the park, and was now laying on its back right where your feet were, and you were tickling its belly with your fingers.
Bucky stood behind a tree, his hood drawn over his face, as he watched you. He was worried beyond anything, he was scared that what you'd told Nick Fury was something really suicidal, but here you were sitting in a park, talking to a pup. His heart broke for you, for he could see that this was affecting you badly and he should have told you all this before. But with everything that had happened so far, he could not. And now, you had found out.
You sat back up, when you heard the sound of leaves being crushed underneath someone's boots, and Bucky stiffened, his hand flying to his gun as a reflex when he heard it too.
Your alert eyes glared at the sudden intruders in your private space, and you stood up, your eyes narrowed towards the intruders with a look of hate in your eyes.
"We thought it would be difficult to reach you, but you chose to walk yourself to us, what a nice surprise," the man with the Russian accent called out.
"Dream on, I would never make it this easy for you."
You neither had a gun, nor were you agile and flexible enough to fight them alone in a hand to hand combat. You knew you were screwed, so you had to use your mind, or maybe just run.
You took a step away, but the man was fast, he lunged at you, trying to catch you, when a gunshot sounded from behind you and the man flew back with the impact of the bullet that pierced right through his chest. You didn't need to look back to know who it was, and a part of you was relieved to see him here. Instinctively, you turned towards him and he tossed you a spare handgun that you caught midair.
Men in HYDRA uniforms kept coming towards the two of you, and Bucky had already pushed you behind him, forming a human shield around you with his body, while you aimed your gun, taking down as many HYDRA soldiers as you could, and he kept trying to deflect the shots that were fired towards the two of you mostly him, using his metal arm.
"No matter what happens, you don't step into their view, stay behind me, yeah?" he shouted at you just as you squeezed the trigger, and the bullet from your weapon hit a man's forehead, before he could shoot Bucky in his chest.
"They're too many."
"Nothing I can't handle," his words were dark, and coated in venom and for once you didn't know who it was that you were speaking with, was it Bucky, or was it the Winter Soldier. 
At first, Bucky snapped their necks with ease. Bullets rained down on him, but he deflected them with ease, and one by one, bodies were scattered all around you. It was like he was on fire; he was growling, screaming and grunting in the most animalistic way, while you kept yourself behind him at all times, but shot anyone that you could within your range.
However, somehow, neither Bucky, nor you noticed, that two of them had managed to creep behind your back, hidden underneath the shadow of the trees, and were now directly behind you.
"Bucky!" You screamed, when a sudden prick in your neck caused a surge of electricity to fly through your body, and a foreign pain filled you up. You had been tasered, and Bucky was in a pool of men, trying to fight them off while you were being dragged away, your mind barely conscious as pain rang through all your body.
The pain, however, was not from being tasered; but rather, it felt like your stomach was being stabbed brutally, and you couldn't help but cry out in anguish, kneading your fingers against the fabric that clung to your bump. The pain was so bad, you couldn't even bother rolling yourself away as the two corpses landed next to you, the minute Bucky shot them and they collapsed on either of your sides.
You didn't know what was wrong, but something wasn't right.
Bucky knelt in front of you now, trying to feel your body for any injuries, when you cried out loud, almost digging your nails into the flesh on his arms, "Buck, something is wrong with our baby."
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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years
Conversation
RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 7 "Beware of Young Girls" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)
If we're ever gonna find out what happened to that baby, we have to figure out who that woman was.
That got way out of hand.
I think I figured out what my problem is. I'm way too nice.
This is what happens to sneaky backstabbers.
Just so you know, I took all your clothes.
It's too bad you had to die before we found out what ethnicity you are.
God, I loved porking you so much.
Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today because a backstabbing little bitch got exactly what was coming to her.
I have a colonic!
You were a stupid, little trollop, and I hope you're burning in hell right now.
There's nothing left to talk about.
Do you find it so shocking?
And you tried to frame me for murder!
I promise to never betray your trust again.
You most certainly won't betray my trust ever again, because you will never have my trust ever again!
It has two dancing demons, a dead old lady and cute little pentagrams.
I am going to prove that bitch wrong!
I told you to get rid of him!
I do not want to hear about how this is hard for you, okay?
Now, will you please go kill some people?
Okay, I'm not totally sure you understand how fashion works.
In, like, five years, my clothes are gonna be super hip again.
I like the borderline-creepy way he looks out for you.
He's kind of the perfect guy.
Well, thanks for being cool with me.
I haven't been inside here in a while.
He was in his mid-50s, so he could only get it up, like, once or twice a week.
Tell us something you learned this week about what it means to be a woman.
Everywhere I'd go, she'd just be there, dressed exactly like me.
Hey, did you spill ketchup in the shape of an arrow on the floor?
Are you having sex with a goat?
You looked me in the eye and promised me you would try to be monogamous!
I am breaking up with you.
You are gonna close that door, and you're gonna hear me out.
My whole life, I've lived with a secret shame. And that secret shame is that-- I'm lactose intolerant.
Lactose intolerance afflicts around 50% of the human population, who spend their entire lives walking past Baskin Robbins knowing that if they even have a little bit of ice cream, they're gonna fart a bunch. And if you weren't so ignorant, and you cracked a book every once in a while, you would know that goat's milk, it's lactose free.
I'm so sorry I doubted you.
Look, if it makes you feel any better we can totally bang if you want.
I mean, I knew I had had one hurricane too many, but let's be honest, one hurricane is one hurricane too many.
When my mouth has been where it's been on your body, I think we can safely say we are more than kind of friends.
Look, this is super awkward, but someone killed and dismembered your ex-husband last night, and they put his head in a fish tank.
Seriously, you're under arrest.
They don't care. They're nuts.
I was just doing a little sketching.
Designing formal wear is an old hobby of mine.
Look what I've been able to accomplish with a little free time.
No booze, obviously, but the meds are divine. The little blue ones make you feel like your organs are floating in a warm bath.
I don't trust a girl with a huge bush of pubic hair. Makes me think she has something to hide.
I specifically told you I cannot eat deli meats. The sulfites in them send me into anaphylactic shock. No salami and certainly no bologna!
I want you to know that I think you killed them all, and I hope you get the electric chair for it.
I've frickin' had it with you!
Technically, she just said that he was cheating, but she never said anything about a goat.
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to a dead girl!
Why do you have nine tampons? How big is your cooch?
I really think we should stop, because this is really, really freaking me out.
No, hooker! We're not stopping.
Have fun in hell going to dinner with Osama bin Laden.
But, I mean, can we really trust a satanic talking board?
Talking boards tend not to hold up in court.
I say we poison her bras.
We have to be super sneaky about it, because if we're not, she'll smell a rat and kill us first.
What the hell is a sugar party?
We were just talking about throwing a sugar party.
I thought you were dead.
I am dead. I'm burning in hell.
I came back from the grave to apologize to you.
Yes, there are waterslides, but they're lined with razor blades and you splash down into a pool of boiling pee.
As soon as I got there, I was like, "Where are the dinosaurs?"
I guess I was just intimidated by your beauty and intelligence.
I was just jealous. I wanted what you had, and I really needed my tube packed.
I accept your apology. And I'm sorry you got murdered and are dead.
Well, looks like I'll have to kill them first.
Be the bigger person!
Now rise up and be the leader I know you can be.
Yeah, I just, I just get a little faint when I see blood.
A perfect DNA match. That is what the lab said.
It's pretty suspicious behavior.
Oh, Mommy's home.
She's what a psychiatrist friend of mine refers to as a "capicolaphilist" which is not, as I thought, someone who's turned on by the sight and feel of lunch meats but, more disgustingly, someone who's turned on by someone who pronounces bologna the way it's spelled;"bow-log-na."
You're plotting to murder me.
What I'm curious about is what, exactly, is taking so long?
Rat poison only works because rodents don't have a gag reflex. If you gave a human rat poison, they would immediately puke it all up. So not only would I have survived your attempt on my life, it would have also made me skinnier.
It was stupid to try to murder you.
I'm willing to let bygones be bygones and chalk this attempted murder up to youthful enthusiasm.
Here's to young girls getting what they had coming to them.
You know what they say-- "nothing tastes as good as revenge feels." Actually, they don't say it. I just sort of made that up.
I've got to stay focused.
Are you hungry, 'cause I'm hungry.
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fenheart87 · 4 years
Text
Unexpected Ch 1
"Alright class, I know today is a special day and you all have been so eager to drop the school work and get to celebrating but we have one more thing before we can end our work for today." Mme. Bustier smiled brightly at the collective groans across the classroom. "This is a project, you can be by yourself, with a partner or a group or even all work together."
"Mme. Bustier, what type of project is it?" Mylene asked, more excited than confused.
"Marinette as class president I believe I'll let you share with the class." She waved up the ravenette, flipping the white board that showed a loosely detailed plan and a list of everyone in the class.
"Sure thing! And before you say it, no Alya I was not hiding anything from you, we actually set up this a few weeks ago." Marinette teased, falling into her confident planner self as her front row distraction was currently modeling for a perfume ad. "We are taking over the park for a few hours for a class party at the end of the day! Snacks will be provided by the best bakery of course, papa has some new flavors so please be honest on what you think. The best ones get to become part of the menu."
"Oh yeah dude! Bring it on!" Nino cheered, Kim fist pumping the air in excitement.
"First things first! We need to split into jobs, here is a rough idea of what we need done and how many people to do it. If you want to take a few jobs that require only one person go for it! If you only want one or just a group job that's fine too. Please make sure you sign up for at least one as that is considered your participation for today and cross your name off the list."
Everyone jumped from their seats, breaking off into groups and talking about what they wanted to do and how they want to decorate. Marinette waited to the side for any follow up questions or to give directions to find supplies they had set aside for the party.
"Um, mme. Bustier, I don't see my name..." Lila spoke up, pouting slightly.
"Oh! With how busy you, Chloe and Adrien are, I left you off incase you weren't able to make it. Same with Max, sometime his gaming club has plans already. Just made it easier so we dont accidentally sign you up for something." Marinette said brightly, watching as Lila tried to hold her composure at being thwarted.
"Oh thanks Marinette but we do not have plans for today, we are getting together over the weekend. Speaking of, would you like to join us?" Max invited, ignoring the italian completely who seemed to be struggling for a composed face.
"Sure! Although I'm not sure how good I'll be at anything other than mechastrike." She laughed, waving off Markov who was running numbers to argue her claim.
"Looks like you'll have to try harder Rossi." Chloe commented in a smarmy manner. "Sabrina sign us up for something like getting supplies, make it quick and easy. I do not want to be crowded with a bunch of losers."
"Sure thing Chloe, looks like we'll be helping Marinette with the food! We just have to get it from her parents bakery when everyone else is set up." Sabrina wrote their names under Marinette's, handing off the marker to Alix.
"Girl you thought of everything! How did you keep this a secret from me?" Alya accused playfully, throwing an arm around the shorter girl.
"I told you we had a party coming up, you just thought I meant a different kind. Besides you gave me a lot of the ideas and you didn’t know it!" Marinette preened under the positive attitudes and creative ideas that were flowing around the room.
"Marinette you forgot one thing!" Rose spoke up, jumping in place excitedly.
"Oh no, did I forget some decorations? Or did i not ask for enough food? Drinks?"
"No silly! Music!" Rose twirled Marinette causing her to stumble right into Ivan who just got back from the art room. Seeing the boxes she almost knocked out of his hands, Marinette squeaked and flailed a little bit more causing her to tumble down fully.
"Whoa, careful! Looks like I got back just in time." Ivan smiled helping a red faced Marinette from the floor with a free hand.
"Oh Ivan! Good thing you are back! We were just talking about the Valentine's Day party for the class and setting everything up at the park. Marinette, do you think we could ask Kitty Section to play?!" Rose gushed, hands under her chin and hearts in her eyes.
"Kitty Section is busy but I could talk to the leader guitarist, I helped with their outfits when they performed for Bob Ross after all." Lila spoke up drawing everyone attention, confused and angry alike.
"Alya, for once, please just let this happen." Nino whispered, cupping his hand over his girlfriend's mouth.
"Oh! That would be amazing Lila! Just the thing were missing. I cannot believe I spaced on the music selection. It is kind of last minute though, they are super busy... If they can't make it, Nino would you be able to spin some beats?" Marinette chimed cheerfully, snagging one of Lila's hands as she would anyone else before spinning to the frozen couple.
"Sure thing dude!" Nino smiled, removing his hand from Alya's mouth.
"Awesome! Rose, Juleka, Ivan and Mylene can you help Nino with his equipment?" Marinette asked with a grin, blue eyes sparkling.
"Sister-dude." Juleka mumbled as she walked by, earning a bright smile from the shorter girl and giving a small upward squirm of the lips in return.
"Chloe and Sabrina, if there is nothing else you want to help with, maman said we can start boxing up stuff. We have to wait for the tables before we can place them." Marinette smiled and left the classroom, sending one last text to her maman. "Today is a great day!"
__________________________________________
"So the party is at lunch and we get to enjoy the rest of the day to celebrate and enjoy!"
"Looks good so far Nathaniel, Maman said the food is almost done so we will go get it once the tables are setup." Marinette complimented, giving a thumbs up.
"I hope I'm invited this all looks great!" Adrien joked, finally back from his perfume ad. " What can I help with?" Streamers decorated the trees and a huge picnic blanket was. hosting some board games with coolers next to them.
"Hey dude, we could use some help getting the tables propped up so when the girls get back they have somewhere to put the food." Nino waved the blond over to where he was trying to puzzle out the safety latch.
"Adrikins! After this, we should totally go eat at my fathers hotel, I can have them reserve a table for just the two of us-" Chloe began, cut off by Lila who joined in swarming the model.
"Adrien! I don’t know if you've heard but I'm getting Kitty Section to play, I talked to the lead guitarist and since I helped design their costumes, they said they owe me a favor and will play for us!"
Adrien looked uncomfortably between the two girls, looking to Nino for help be he certainly knew Lila was lying. The DJ looked ready to laugh at any moment and subtlety shook his head. His savior came in the form of a blue hair guitarist, who was helping Marinette and dropping off Juleka's hair clips.
"Hey Adrien, Nino. And new girl." Marinette snorted softly, earning a playful nudge. "I heard something about Kitty Section?" Luka listened to Lila's spiel, noting her methods and listening to her true self. "Cool, I wanted to give back the guitar pick to the bass player. She's pretty awesome and I hear close to the guitarist."
"Oh well when they get here you could!" Lila deflected, sliding closer and seeming to just notice his aesthetic.
"Too bad you don't go to our school, things would certainly be more musical if you did." Marinette giggled, drawing a smile from Luka. "I can stop by later for the finishing touches, there's no rush."
"Marinette! You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend!" Lila exclaimed, drawing the attention of the entire class, most amused as they knew the blue eyed darling was torn between the two boys.
"You know it is so not cool to blurt out other people's business when it doesn’t concern you. I'd appreciate it if people who don’t even know my name didn't spread lies about me. What Marinette and I have between us, or do not have, is our business and we certainly don't need outside help to figure it out. Unless we ask for it." Luka coolly snapped, leading Marinette over to Rose and Juleka.
"Adrikins!" Chloe would not be letting the little liar work another lie to cover up her being called out. "Dinner tonight, my father hotel of course. Wear something nice."
"Actually I already have plans with Kagami... We're going to see a movie and then have dinner, her mother and my father have fencing ideas to discuss. Hey Marinette, if you and Luka want to join us you can."
"Actually-" Luka stared but was cut off by the shorter girl.
"Double date?" Marinette asked, looking at Luka to confirm, smiling shyly.
"Oh, cool." Luka smiled like the sap he is, drawing giggles from Rose and snort from his sister. "Yeah, double date."
"Text me later?" Marinette blushed, leaning up to kiss his cheek. The sappy sigh had Rose burst into giggles which snapped the taller boy out of his trance.
"Yeah, later." He looked lost for a moment. "Later." Luka repeated and then left, not even caring the cheesy grin on his face was completely ruining his bad boy image.
"Marinette." Alya's voice snapped Marinette back to herself and she became an incoherent blubbing mess of blushing stutters.
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yenrz1314 · 5 years
Text
LET’S (attempt to) FIX/REWRITE KH 358/2 DAYS
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Let me preface this: I love Roxas, Xion, and Axel A LOT. I have been thoroughly blinded by nostalgia as much as you have and I don’t really care. I’ll continue to love them even after I’m finished destroying their game here. Keep in mind I’m not hatin’. And, fun fact, I think that Days is perhaps the best written game in the series regarding character writing. Still doesn’t mean I think it’s actually good though.
I’m going to start off saying something kind of controversial. Axel, Roxas, and Xion weren't that great of friends. 
Yes they were the best friends that they ever had, but when you're constantly surrounded by the melancholic mundane, any sort of friendship is the great friendship. They weren't that great at being friends to each other because they dealt with conflict in the most incompetent way possible. As far as I know, there was barely any communication whatsoever between them, which is really disappointing because Roxas is like the most understanding person ever. Most of their conversations concerned small talk. Not necessarily boring small talk, but small talk.
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I really wish we could at least have gotten a talk between Xion and Roxas when he was on that mission to chase her down before Axel came in and knocked her out. The only real communication about Xion’s situation is between her and Axel, and we rarely get to see any camaraderie between her and Roxas. We do see a decent amount between Roxas and Axel but I’ll just attribute to the fact that they’ve existed as characters longer than Xion has.
Xion’s inherently pretty bad at communicating. To Roxas especially. Even though Axel tried to talk her down, she didn't really explain herself much. Axel honestly had to figure it out himself.
If Days gets remade I hope to death that we have at least one scene of Roxas and Xion having more meaningful talks. Alone. They were close. Its just that Xion kept stonewalling, and Axel would always be dodgy with his answers, which makes you question if they’re truly all that close. I mean, you wouldn’t just not tell one of your best friends anything about something you’re really struggling about.
Though I guess you can’t blame them since they had no memories of their past and were learning based off of watching those around them, and they did live with the organization
And to be fair, you’re a part of an organization with a leader the answers basic questions like “Who is Sora?” with vague af answers like "the connection".
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Also they’re stupid teenagers. I’m already giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Honestly I would normally be fine with her lack of communication and accept it as an character flaw.  In fact, under normal circumstances, it would be a reason for me to be invested in her character. But the truth is that we don't see enough scenes of him and Xion having meaningful bonding time for me to be accepting of that lack of communication. There was that one absolutely adorable scene of Roxas and Xion on the clocktower discussing about how much they worry about each other...but the rest of the time they spent together is superficial, mostly consisting of just kind of empty small talk. It’s kind of rare that we see them actually talk about their relationship and/or any chemistry. A lot was just them sitting next to each other eating ice cream or on missions and we did have a lot of skips of one of them being asleep or missing.
The main problem KH has in its writing is that it really likes to display the cute little quirks or tressings of a relationship but absolutely fails to write any core to that relationship. Like, for example, the seashells they leave for each other when they’re sleeping is absolutely precious, but there’s not that much of a core dynamic between these characters that this really cute character interaction can be built upon. And in the end, but just because something is tragic doesn't mean it has substance
Because Days doesn't give me enough meat of writing to bite into, it just ends up as a frustrating tale of Roxas just being confused the whole time. Sure, Roxas is the main character, but he literally has almost no agency throughout the entire game. And I find that pretty insulting to his character. This guy is literally one of the most well written in the series. And no, I’m not pulling the ‘xion’s a mary sue stealing the spotlight’ card. I’m totally fine with her existing, but dang if I had the opportunity to change ONE THING about Days I would totally rewrite the cutscene Fracture on day 298, the day when Xion was captured.
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So the original scene goes like this: Roxas tracks her down, asks her to come back, he tries to comfort her, asking why she won’t come back to him. She just says "I can't" and GETS SCARED WHEN THE MOST TRUSTED PERSON IN HER LIFE REACHES OUT TO HER. Okay. breathe. I understand if she’s scared. It’s a bit of a stretch, yes, if we take into account that she’s in the depths of emotional turmoil trying decide between her friends or Sora. I understand if she really doesn’t want to go back to the organization. My problem is that Roxas really doesn’t pose a threat to her at all here.
But then again, it could be that Xion’s a very delicate person, emotionally. And that she’s easily disturbed and is flighty. BUT THE THING IS: We don’t see this anywhere else. Days, as is, doesn’t really do a good job of establishing Xion’s personality at all anyways. So we can throw that excuse out the window.
BUT. BUT BUT BUT. THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAS WHEN SHE TURNED HER KEYBLADE ON ROXAS.
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SERIOUSLY I would have totally been fine with everything up to this point except her turning on him like that
Again, he is literally no threat to her at all! I can understand her being scared, but he didn’t threaten to take her back or yell at her or anything
Like why. Why isn’t she willing to tell him anything about the truth about her existence. It's not like she's trying to keep it a secret. I understand how jarring it must have been for her to have that sort of existential crisis knowing that she’s just a puppet created to copy...But telling Roxas absolutely nothing is ridiculous. ESPECIALLY because Roxas was the one who always was breaking his back for her. He was the one who first approached her to join him at the clock tower, he was always trying to reach out to her, understand her. Heck, even when Xion was the aggressor, both times in Fracture and in the final battle, Roxas still sees her as the victim, the one who was in the right, and it's both very sweet and a bit unhealthy that he views her in such a positive light. He always does his best to give her the benefit of the doubt. And this is clearly shown in his actions.
I would rewrite it like this:
Keep everything the same up to the point right before she turns on him. She walks away and he stops her and everything, but after that she stops and thinks for a moment. And she asks quietly for him to let her go. Roxas, of course, let's her go because he's freaking Roxas
And she tries explaining to him what's going on in a very roundabout way, for the sake of being consistent with her established character. I'm not asking for her to explain it word for word. She's as flighty as a deer. I understand her not being direct. And then Roxas tries talking to her how they could work this out. Hell, this would be the PERFECT TIME to incorporate that scene from the manga when Roxas proposes they run away together. Xion is shocked and ask if he is serious, and he says yes. And THAT'S when Axel comes in and stops the party, and everything plays out the same till the end of the cutscene.
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Also if this writing was implemented, then that would be a payoff point. The pacing in Days’ story is kind of whack, and adding a breakthrough moment like this would be super satisfying to the viewer.
Also it makes sense that Axel would come in then because he can't just accept both of his friends leaving like that. In the og game, Axel pretty much just let his two best friends walk away from him.  The only time he shows any protest is when he is ordered by his superiors to go after them. Xion in particular. Sure this works, as it’s implied that Axel is respecting his friends’ autonomy by letting them go.
But maybe we could make it better by having Axel go through a mini arc where he accepts his friends' departure with a bit of a struggle. You’ll see more below.
The only change that would have to be made is that the organization would have to actively keep Roxas and Xion apart to keep them from conspiring together. Or when they're together, always have a third party member to keep a watchful eye. I’m guessing this would mean no more ice cream time either. For now.
Xion’s communication is just a trickle the first few days, but over time it slowly opens up, gradually telling more as they interact when they have the occasional mission together. She would mutter things like 
“The organization is keeping so much from us, Roxas…” 
or telling snippits like that when the third party member/chaperone isn’t watching.
Eventually, the organization takes note of this and orders for the two to be kept completely separate at all times, and Axel knows that this will absolutely kill their friendship so he does a solid by confronting Saix about it to propose a compromise. He’s like: 
"I'm a trusted member of this organization. Hell, I brought them back for you.  So how about this: I'll watch them for you instead" 
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And Saix accepts that compromise. And the result of that compromise is that we get more trio missions, something we ALL LOVED. And also those would be opportunities for them to talk. ALL THREE OF THEM
Okay so the three talk on missions and at the clocktower again, Xion knows her purpose and desperately wants to leave. She won’t disclose Riku or Namine's location. Axel protests fiercely to the thought of her leaving. Meanwhile Roxas is trying to mediate as always, but he leans more towards helping Xion leave at least. However, he would still show how he emotionally would rather have her stay. He has an internal struggle when Xion tries to explain their connection with Sora and how they need to go back during a few talks with them alone that Axel allows. She needs to be the one who tells him he needs to come back to Sora.  Someone who he trusts and can help him through this process. Not a stranger like Riku or Namine.
And then this time of communication all abruptly comes to a halt when the Org. starts pitting Roxas and Xion against each other in missions. Also, let's have Xion be less heartless to Roxas here and not be so eager to leave. Of course, she desperately still wants to, but Roxas is her anchor keeping her there. She knows that it'll all be for naught if Roxas doesn't go with her anyways. Also she doesn't want to hurt him by just leaving like that. She cares.
So, back to the rewrite, the talks stop when the organization starts pitting roxas and Xion against each other in those missions. Axel stops them like he did originally, and they have a talk about how crazy ridiculous this all is. Roxas agrees with Xion and Axel agrees too but hides it because he's a coward and is the org's lapdog, and just tries as hard as he can to keep them together. Roxas is dismayed that his existence is possibly ending, but at the same time agrees with Xion that this is all crazy. Axel shuts them down for the day. 
And the next day is the day Xigbar, Axel and Xion go on that mission.
But instead of Xion jumping ship, Riku comes in to take Xion, kidnapping her without a fight because he knows he can't take survive one against two other org. members. Axel doesn't do anything to stop her because he's accepted it at this point. Also seeing Xion as Ven really made him realize the gravity of the situation.
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This really upsets Roxas because he thinks Xion was taken against her will. Axel doesn’t have the heart to tell him about Xion’s current extremely unstable state. And this sets him off since he's been putting up with so much BS at this point and he runs away as originally written as well as to search for Xion, because he knows the org. will never let him look for her himself. Everything plays out the same after that.
 On the clocktower where Roxas and Xion meet, there's one change. When she shows him that she's almost Sora, she *explains* as best as she can what’s happened to her, since she’s under the control of the org. now. She makes him realize that it's inevitable that she must die or she'll cease to be herself. And then they fight as originally scripted, Roxas’ motive for fighting being that there still might be a chance for them to go on if he finishes things himself.
When the fight is over and she begins to die, Xion's final request is that he join back with Sora. That is were it this all leads and she knows it. We're changing that because in the original she, when Roxas and Riku are fighting, for some dumb reason, retracts her final wish???? Like… that's got to be one of the most contrived things in this story.
Also I'd like to cut that dumb pointless plot device that Roxas forgets who Xion is right after finishing his final battle with her, Because by golly did the writing team really want Roxas to be as clueless as possible even as his best friend is dying. Geez wtf.
Honestly, you can keep the memory loss, just please make it so that he remembers her SOONER, so they can actually COMMUNICATE AND SO THAT HE CAN ACTUALLY SAY GOODBYE.
FUACK.
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“Promise me...you’ll come back...to Sora. That way...we can be together again...”
Or something like that, make me cry more. 。゚(゚ノД`゚)゚。
But then what would Roxas’s motive be for going back to The World That Never Was and fighting Riku then? Just wait a moment and hold on to your seat because I’m going to take the original situation and make it even more badass AND make it work with my rewrite.
Also this blog is finally almost done good job for making it this far.
Let's have Roxas know about the heartless nobody cycle. He can have learned this after maybe sifting through the organization’s research files or something. It wouldn’t be hard to stick it in the story somewhere. 
What was the most heartwrenching thing about Roxas’s final day in the real world? I would say his rage, grief, and desperation over his entire life. So let’s take that, and multiply it by a couple dozen times. After Xion's death, his motive to destroy the organization will be more about his rage at the unjust way he was treated. Him and Xion. They messed up his and his friends’ lives.
“Well if I die, then whatever I'll just go back to Sora. Kill two birds with one stone.”
Regardless of however you write Days, angsty, bloodthirsty Roxas is a requirement. It’s what makes Roxas Roxas. And as a result his grief is amplified tenfold. He doesn't even care about preserving his own life anymore.
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And Riku confronts him. Asks him what the hell he's doing. He tells him he's going to fuck up the organization. And Riku's like ‘don't be stupid they'll just capture you and hold you hostage to keep Sora from waking’
Roxas looks at him, points one of his keyblades towards him.
"You don't know that." 
"I'll end every single one of them before they get the chance. You want me to prove it..? WELL HERE'S MY PROOF!” 
AND THEN HE FREAKING STRIKES,
AND THAT’S THE FIGHT
And let's hammer in the fact that Roxas is his own freaking person. Instead of the line "C'mon Sora! I thought you were stronger than that!" from Riku, instead he says to Roxas something akin to this:
"C'mon Sora...I know you're stupid, but not to this extent!"
And then Roxas doesn't give him a Sora-ish line.
“You’re the one calling me by the wrong name.”
Riku sits defeated and despondent on the ground.
"...Why...? It's not supposed to be this way...Sora..."
This breaks a nerve in Roxas.
"This again?! I'm me. NOBODY ELSE. Get that through YOUR thick head!"
And the rest is history...
..................
THAT’S THE REWRITE KIDS.  YOU’RE FINALLY FINISHED READING THIS RIDICULOUSLY LONG BLOG. THANK YOU FOR READING \o/
Fun fact, this was all borne out of a late night discord chat with a friend of mine.
Edit: this is the headcanon for what happened in Days now. Goodnight.
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yeahbutimagine · 6 years
Text
Imagine Tony being jealous
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Masterlist
Requests and rules
A/N : I am BACK with new stuff! I am so sorry I haven't posted any shit in MONTHS but you know how it's been, I had no other choice.
Anyway, it's now 03:35 AM and I'm thinking of getting some coffee because my smart ass thought it would be nice to nap between 8 and 10:30 PM. And since I am now inspired, I ditched my old draft of this fic for a new one I hope I will finish soon (like in an hour or 2)
This one was for the sweet @axalalantapanta who wanted a Tony fic where he gets jealous of the other team members, using prompt 4 (It's raining men / Thank God I have an umbrella) - changed it a bit for various purposes 😚😚 hope you enjoy it, I'm trying to make it a bit shorter than usual and a bit more light! 💖💖
Warnings : language / fluff (?)
Word count : please not too long - also I won't proofread now but I'll correct any typo next week (writing on my phone)
.
Who ever said having a crush was nice was a complete fool. You had been hiding yours for months and it wasn't pleasant at all. Especially when the said crush was no other than Anthony Stark himself. Sure, you were colleagues, friends and sometimes it seemed like your relationship was more, but he sure was a handful. He was flirty, sarcastic, funny, yeah, the only issue is that you weren't the only target of his behaviour, which made you wonder if he could possibly feel anything for anyone or if all of his persona was just a facade. But no matter how hard you tried ro push your feelings aside, you had a crushing crush on the guy. He made you laugh even in your worst moments, he was super sweet and attentionate, he cared for all of you and so on. How could you feel any other way, am right? But even though you dreamed of confessing to him, you couldn't do it because you were bound to see him every single day, and if it went wrong, you couldn't face him anymore. So as I said, you tried your hardest to push your feelings aside and live your life as best as you could.
However, one night, you had shared your thoughts about the billionaire to Natasha, who thought it would be nice to tell the rest of the team and see if they could possibly be the little push for the improvement of your relationship. You honestly thought about quitting your job. I mean, they weren't any mean or what, but you found the situation so awkward you couldn't look at any of them for the first two weeks. You were now used to them knowing, but the attention they gave you was becoming sickening.
Steve was the first one to actually do something to sense it all. He'd often mention you in conversations he had with Tony to see how he would react. It actually didn't pay off. You had asked him to stop and well, when your name entered any conversation, he couldn't help himself.
Some other guys offered to directly ask Tony about his feelings and you once again threaten to quit being part of the Avengers. They didn't do much about it, but you couldn't know for sure. Yet, their behaviour regarding your crush were more and more ominous. They would cough when he entered a room and then leave you alone, they'd organize group trainings only to not show up and so on. Which made it all more awkward than it already was.
Tony, on the other hand, was far from being stupid and suspected something. I mean, having bunch of grown ass people giggling behind a door was a fucking obvious sign! He decided to play along with them, not knowing the reason behind their behaviour, only trusting his feelings for you. Because he sure had feelings for you. He hoped you returned them but instead of directly asking you, he liked to push all your buttons and see your reactions. He liked the way you'd get angry or flustered because of one quirky remark of his, or the way you'd look at him when he was talking. Or the little smile you'd politely give whenever he entered the room. Or the times when you'd check on him when he spent too much time alone in his lab. You'd often scold him for neglecting his sleep or his health and he'd often laugh, calling you his mother for behaving this way. You'd pout and nicely beat his ass, but you'd make sure he was eating something and you'd threaten to stay with him until he went to bed. Part of him wanted you to, but he didn't want to be a burden to you, so he would go to sleep, and once, he even kissed your forehead, thanking you for being so attentionate. Sure, the little gesture seemed like nothing, but he couldn't help it, acting without thinking beforehand. Your absence of reaction had been enough for him to understand you might return at least a bit of his feelings. And honestly, you were happy it was dark around you, or else he would have seen your cheeks burning. But yeah, he didn't mind the guys' attentions, as long as they stayed in their lanes and weren't too pushy around you. He didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, but he liked getting the opportunity to spend time alone with you.
One day, you went to tell them all about it, asking them to stop once and for all. In your mind, if all of this didn't work, you wouldn't embarass yourself anymore and you'd force yourself to dismiss your feelings for Tony. I mean, you already felt like a fool for letting all of this happen, so you told yourself you might as well put an end to it. If he wanted to hit on you, he would already have tried something.
You told it to Natasha, once, while you went shopping for some event happening at the compound.
"But" she started, "are you sure you want to quit? Isn't it a bit early?"
"Honeslty Nat, I'm tired" you answered, "things have gone too far and I feel like I'm waiting on something that will never happen. I'm tired of embarassing myself and I just want it to stop."
"I understand" she said with a sad look on her face, "I don't know why he's not reacting though. I mean, you're pretty, you're funny, you're strong and you're smart. What else could he want?"
"Thank you" you laughed, "and I don't know how to answer... Maybe someting different? Anyway, that's no longer my problem. I'm 100% done with him."
"Actually there's something I wanted to ask you..." she started, waiting for your answer,
"And??"
"Well, I know that we prepared this party to celebrate the end of the mission but... We wanted to try one thing and-"
"Come on! Not again! Please, that's what y'all are thinking about during missions? And then you wonder how we almost lost Steve?"
"Well, it was his idea actually... But please, I promise it's the last thing we ever ever do about it. So what do you think about it?"
"You know what? I can't possibly embarass myself any more, right?"
"I promise you won't regret it!"
She made you buy some nice clothes, some food and you went back home to prepare everything.
You didn't fully understand why you all had to dress fancy given that it was only a small gathering, but you executed yourself, getting ready. Once you were done, you looked at yourself in the mirror, and bitch, you looked bomb AF. I mean, you always looked bomb, but right now, you were BOMB™. So you went down, joining the rest of the team for your post mission party.
The first person you actually saw was Bucky. He complimented you on your looks and gently proposed his arm (A/N : Not a joke but I had to write it 😂😂) to escort you. You executed yourself, not really understanding why but doing it anyway. You both sat on one of the many sofas, in front of the one Natasha and Tony sat. Bucky put his arm around your shoulders and started some small talk. You started to feel something was wrong when he started getting closer to you. I mean, you knew he wasn't into you. He knew about your crush and had tried to help as much as he could, but given his relationship with Tony, he couldn't do that much. You tried to look away from Bucky and exchanged a look with Tony who raised his eyebrows. You kept on talking with the group anyway, only to be joined by Sam, who sat right next to you. He offered you a drink and joined the conversation, making jokes here and there, and getting real close to you. You looked at Tony with eyes that screamed get me out of this place for fuck's sake and he only chuckled. After what seemed like an eternity, you stood up, making up an excuse to leave the room and went outside to breathe some fresh air. You were quickly joined by Steve who seemed to be enjoying himself.
"What a night, eh" he started
"Don't you ever play that game. What is going on with Buck and Sam?! Have they lost a bet or what?" you whispered angrily
"What? Oh, you mean making Tony jealous?"
"Making- what the fuck, is THAT what you were trying to do?! Oh my God, why did you even think it was a good idea?!"
"Well, at least it seems like it's working, look" he said while turning you to look through the glass wall, "he's looking our way" he waved at the group.
"Steve. I know you mean well, but I'm not really into getting touchey feely with all of you, especially not tonight. So keep your hands in your pockets and please, stop looking their way."
"As you wish, Y/N" he got closer to you, so only your backs were to be seen from the living room, "but you can't tell me to stay far. Tonight's mission is one of the most important of my life and I'm not gonna fail it."
"You know what Steve, thank you for all you've done, honestly, but as I told Natasha, I'm quitting. I mean, I know you tried hard, and I thank you once again, but this is getting ridiculous. And I don't want to be this much of a fool."
"It's my job as your friend to tell you not to quit. Look, we're so close! He's falling in the trap and-"
"I am tired Steve. I don't want any 'so close' or 'traps'. I just want to rest and doing all of this is exhausting... So I must be honest with myself, this is totally one-sided and it's okay. I mean, it's not like I'd confessed and I had to hide for the rest of my life, right?" you sighed, "so thank you, for everything, but I'm going to ask you to stop here, okay?"
.
Meanwhile, in the main room, Tony was boiling. How dared they stay so close to you when you looked so uncomfortable? And that Steve? How dared he lay his hands on you and staying so close? He knew something was off, but also, he cursed himself for not being the one close to you. He often checked you out from the glass wall, and you seemed to be in a passionate conversation with Steve. At least until you were joined by a far too happy Thor, who stood next to you and hugged you from the side.
"That's it." you stated, getting out of Thor's grip, "You know what? I need some alone time. Steve. Tell him what I told you and I'm going to find a place where NO ON is going to act weird around me."
You went back in, not looking at anyone that was on your way and you let your feet take you to the only place you could find peace in : Tony's lab.
You sat on a counter and took a deep breath. After a few minutes, you started hearing footsteps. You took yet another deep breath and closed your eyes.
"To whoever the fuck is coming, if you stand too close, I swear I'm going to fucking kill you" you stated, not even opening your eyes.
"Hold on, darling, it's just me" Tony laughed at you and walked in your direction, "hope you're not too disapointed" he stopped and sat on a stool in front of you, loosening his tie.
"Well, if you start acting weird, I obviously will be, but as long as you don't try anything, I guess we're good."
"And would that be too bad of a thing?" he smirked, "if I were to try something?"
"Honestly Tony, yeah, especially tonight!"
He laughed and stood up, leaning next to you, "it seems like it's been raining men tonight"
"Well" you answered, "thanks the Lord for whoever invented umbrellas"
"Hold down, Y/N, is it so bad? Thought you'd be looking for a relationship. I mean, a beautiful woman like you could get anyone she'd want"
"Well, the thing is, I don't want anyone, and even though I might have been wanting to be in a relationship, those times are over and the only thing I'm looking for is my bed."
"My bad, then. Guess I'm too late." he sighed, with his constant annoying smirk, "I waited for you to be alone but I suppose it has no purpose now"
"Come on Tony" you laughed at him, "I know you're playing around and I honeslty don't want your blood on my hands"
"And what part made you think I was playing, baby girl?" he looked at you and winked. "Because it didn't sound like a joke and I know you wouldn't mind it"
You know what? Fuck it. He wants to play, we're going to play. But we'll be playing by your rules.
"And how can you be so sure of what I do and don't mind?" you smiled at him and raised an eyebrow
"Because" he took a strand of your hair and started to twist it, "I know you actually didn't enjoy being hit on by them and yet here we are, alone, way closer than usual, and you've not hit me yet"
"Well," you chuckled, trying to keep your cool, "maybe I'm just tired, and I don't want to use the little energy I have left to yell at you"
"Or maybe you're expecting something more." he paused, studying your face, "because I know I do"
You froze.
"What do you mean?" you asked him, a bit too loud, "what would you consider 'something more' and what could it possibly mean, hypothetically speaking?"
"Well," he laughed and placed himself in front of you, his hands on the counter, "if you want to have a debate, why not, but what I'd consider something more would be not hiding when I see you looking at me, for a start"
"You're making this up." you looked away
"Am I really?" he put two fingers under your chin and made you look his way, "because it would be a shame if I was the only one feeling more than professional, don't you think?"
"Maybe..." you looked down.
"Because," he cupped your cheek, "I have waited for this moment for a pretty long time, and I think that if you didn't feel the same, you'd have pushed me away a while ago"
"That's... That's true" you mumbled
"And the look on your face is actually betraying you, not that I mind, darling, but I truly do have feelings for you and I belive you return them, feel free to interrupt, (you nodded) and seeing them all around you tonight was enough to make me realize I didn't want to spend one more day without telling you how I feel. So. Am I wrong when I say you're feeling the same?"
"Not at all, you're 100% right" you smiled at him,
"That's exactly what I needed to hear" and he kissed your lips, slowly at first, letting his hands roam along your waist and hips, deepening the kiss, while your arms were right on his shoulders, bringing him closer to you. You kissed for what seemed like hours (A/N : not really, okay?) until you had to catch your breath. He let go of your mouth and burried his face in your neck, while you played with his hair.
"You really had to make me wait for so long?" you laughed.
"Says the girl that claimed she didn't want anyone" he stood straight, hugging you and kissing your hair, "you really thought you could fool me?"
"I thought I could, but apparently I love you too much to hide it" you closed your eyes and smiled again.
"Good thing I love you more, then"
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nanasrecovery · 4 years
Text
September 13, 2020
Well things have definitely changed a bit since my last journal entry, so this is gonna be a long one. I spent a week back home with my family, and the first day back was, as expected, my most anxiety filled day due to a full to-do list and just adjusting to another environment. I had errands to run for the little celebration I wanted to have for Alisa, Jungkook, and Bronson's birthday, and had some bottle drop offs to take care of as well. I didn't really have time to myself, except when I was in the car, which isn't exactly my most anxiety-free space to begin with (which wasn't always the case surprisingly). I enjoyed being around everyone and even making our own pizzas from scratch, but when it came time to eating, my social anxiety & ED took over (mostly ED). I let him convince me that I shouldn't eat even though I was starving. I knew exactly what was happening, but still, I couldn't get myself to eat. So I tried my best to enjoy the night, regardless of feeling uncomfortably hungry.
The next morning, the negativity continued. First thing I'm greeted by when I come downstairs was a multitude of questions from my mom like "why didn't you eat last night? Why didn't you go to your room and eat? How come you're not telling me how you're doing?" And I know she's coming from a good place as a mother, but this is the kind of thing I wanted to get away from when I moved to Henrico. My eating disorder and anxiety is something my mom will never fully understand, or maybe even try to understand. I've had several conversations with her before on ways she can help me, and I mean really help me, not the ways she thinks she's helping me. For example,
Really listening to me when I talk about my struggles
Not using her own struggle with anxiety as the cure for mine
Trust me that I'm making strides towards recovery at MY pace
But of course, sometimes I feel like she only hears what she wants to hear. What frustrated me the most was she said, "you know how I deal with my anxiety? I eat". And I said "well if you would really listen to me, you would know that I can't do that. If I could, we wouldn't be having this problem right now." And that immediately just made me irritable towards my mom for the rest of my time home, unfortunately. Regardless of that exchange, I was able to eat breakfast and finished my entire pizza from the night before for lunch.
I already had a feeling that being home was gonna help my anxiety a lot, and regardless of the negativity from my mom, it really was. I'm so thankful for Jaron and that he's so understanding and helpful when it comes to my anxiety. He said he would get a ride back up to Henrico just so I could stay home longer, and I'm honestly so glad I did. I've realized how much being home is healing for me, atleast during these current times. When things were going well for me in the beginning of the year, I loved being in Henrico, but after covid hit and things completely changed, I wanted to be back home even though I never wanted to admit it. But I can't dismiss the fact that home is where all of my favorite people are, and some of the anxieties I feel up in Henrico just don't exist when I'm back home.
The moment that made me really miss being home was my absolute favorite part of my week, and something I want to do more often. I had an impromptu picnic with Alisa, Jessa, and Bronson at Chesapeake City Park and it was literally the most relaxed I have felt in so long. Not having technology in my face the whole time, soaking in the sun and breathing fresh air in an open field just felt so nice, and I was able to eat half a sandwich and some pretzels in front of them, which is the most people I've eaten anything in front of in a long time. From that point on, I really wanted to try and make positive steps towards recovery.
I had asked on Twitter and Instagram if people had used CBD products before and what their thoughts were, and I received nothing but positive responses. Ate Jackie had some CBD products she had that she wasn't using so I picked them up and tried them out (yay for not having to pay). The gummies actually taste so good that I would totally eat a bunch at once if they weren't CBD haha. But at first I couldn't really tell if it did anything, but after use over the next couple days I felt the effects, and I'd say it did help mellow me out! I eventually needed a stronger dose and told John about it, so he went to a CBD store and bought gummies for me and some oil for himself (thankful for you, John). The new gummies definitely hit me harder, sometimes I feel like I'm high cause I'm so mellowed out hahaha. Either way, I'm glad that I've found a natural aid for my anxiety since the medication route hasn't been the best choice for me since ED.
Over the next few days I really tried to spend time with people while still giving myself time to rest. For one, I got into Stray Kids, which getting into a new group is a Serotonin boost in itself haha, especially when my biases look like this
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How can I not feel happy when I look at them?????
But throughout the rest of the week I also soaked up my time with Deedee, Megan, and even Marc cause they always put me in a great mood. Definitely one of my favorite parts of being home.
Regardless of being stressed due to watching my nephews and dodging my mom's questions or overbearing tendencies, I was able to eat the most that I have in a while, which was really nice, but also brought on anxiety simply because my body isn't used to it. I am still super happy and excited about it nonetheless.
Friday night I had therapy, and after spilling out basically everything I had written about up until this point of the post, she really helped me organize my thoughts and worries, and I just always feel better after therapy sessions with her. She reminded me that sometimes it feels like we're fighting against our family, but we're on the same team fighting against ED, and showed me resources that I could give my mom to help her understand my situation more. She also helped me ease some worries about Jaron and I's current situation of planning on moving back home due to struggling finances since covid (which I'll probably go into detail another day).
My week back home ended with a visit to my Auntie. She texted me earlier that morning that if I had free time to stop by because she had something for me. I had no idea what to expect, but when I got there, I must say it was nice seeing family. She gave me a devotional journal, prayer card, and small vials of Rose oil, sat me down and basically said "the reason why I reached out was because I dreamt about you the other day and I rarely dream about family. And the dream was so dark and gloomy that I wondered why and felt like I should reach out". She told me about her struggles in life and how she trusted God and continues to learn and trust in Him. I told her how, even though the past year has been so difficult, it really brought me closer to God. Prior to going to their house, I was feeling really sad and anxious, but after leaving I felt so much better.
I made my way back up to Henrico, and man I missed Jaron a lot. Spending the past couple days with him has been really nice, and I've eaten generally well while being up here. Unfortunately it's hard for me to be by myself in the apartment all week and not feel super anxious, so I told him I wanted to stay back home for a bit, and of course, he understood. So I packed up some things and I'll be heading back down tomorrow morning.
This past week helped me see things in a new light, and how things will never go as planned, but everything definitely happens for a reason. My struggles are preparing me for the blessings to come and I'm going to be 100000x stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually after all of this is overcome.
Here's to more steps forward, no matter how small.
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