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#i try my best and i try hard and i spend so much time on my own making stuff i don't share because when i do people don't seem to like it
itsfairly · 3 days
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Nighttime Care // Nanami Kento x gn!reader
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word count: 5.5k (ops)
cw: fluff, gender neutral!reader, established couple, petnames (sweetheart, sweetie, honey, darling, dear) not proofread (when is it?)
summary: work, work, and more work, it just seems like nanami can't catch a break from all this overtime. its exhausting, and you can see that and decide to give a helping hand.
notes: time to pass all the silly scenarios I've thought off instead of the outlines for the other fics i have on my drafts ❤
liked this? show it with a like, reblog, and/or comment. each is greatly appreciated and celebrated!
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Tired.
Tired, tired, tired.
While it was a significantly better change when he quit his job as a salaryman and returned to his life as a sorcerer, Nanami hated how overtime seemed to follow him. But he hated how overtime not only meant coming home late and all tired. Now it meant coming late to you and being robbed of his time with his sweetheart.
It was way past midnight by the time he got through the front door, huffing almost too loudly as he kicked his shoes off and stepped into the quiet of your house.
No show playing on the TV with you on the couch all curled up waiting for him.
No smells coming from the kitchen with your back facing him as you hum to yourself with your attention on making tonight's dinner.
No running up to him to wrap your arms around him and pepper his face with your lips as you welcomed him home in a muffle.
No you to brighten such a shift at work.
Maybe it was better this way. It was late and you had work tomorrow, you had every right to be asleep right now. The slight disappointment from no sign of you awake quickly turns towards himself. How could he be selfish enough to expect you to wait for him at this hour? He had insisted that you should not wait for him so late, you had your own stuff outside of your relationship together and he rather that you would at least rest easy. Besides, you couldn't see him like this—dark eye bags, a deep frown, and barely standing. Nanami always wanted to be presentable before you, you deserved to see him at his best, not...not like this.
Yet, his heavy steps betrayed him. Despite his best attempts to keep you asleep, your light sleep triggered and caused you to groan awake. You turn on the bed, trying to find the source of the sound that interrupted your sleep only to see the bedroom door open as Nanami slipped between spaces. Silent mutters help you recognize Nanami's voice, your mind finally catching up to what your senses were telling you. With a squint of your eyes, you look at Nanami with your lips curling downwards. His voice sounded tired, his steps were dragging across the floor, and he simply seemed overworked to no surprise. Overtime simply wasn't anyone's choice of spending the night.
"Kento?" You called out in a groan, still feeling a bit drowsy from your interrupted sleep.
Your tired voice makes him sigh, giving him another reason to feel upset after a long shift. Not at you though, he didn't want to wake you up and he tried really hard to let you rest. With a heavy sigh, his shoulder slouched slightly as he turned to look at you, making his way to sit on the edge of the bed right in front of where you were laying down.
"Sorry, sweetie. Didn't want to wake you up." Nanami whispers, a tinge of jealousy in his voice. Seeing how cozy you looked on the bed made him want to be in your place and be able to rest as easily as you, he needed to lay down next to you and sleep. But he couldn't just yet. "I'm home..." He adds, a hand coming up his face to remove his goggles and holding him in a fist.
"Don't worry about that," You assured him, feeling the bed shift as he sat on the edge of it.
With a yawn, you sit up to try and wake yourself up now that he is back. Despite still being zoned out from sleep, it didn't take much to notice just how exhausted he was. It was a sad sight to your eyes, even sadder knowing that this wasn't new at all.
You wrap your arms around Nanami and pull him down to the bed right on top of you, feeling how he slightly jumped at this. Though he was surprised at the action, he felt himself relax when his head met your chest, realizing a groan out of how nice your body felt after such a long day.
"Welcome home, honey." You whispered, your hand rubbing circles on his back.
"S'tired, soo tired." He mumbled against you, using his hand to rub his eyes as if that would get rid of his fatigue.
However, it was hard considering how he felt like he might drift off at any moment. He couldn't fall asleep. Even if he was struggling to stay awake, he didn't want to sleep just yet when he was still in his work clothes.
It was awful how much this happened and every time you would react the same. How could you keep your lips from frowning when Nanami looked and sounded this tired? When his body practically flopped against yours so easily? Nanami was a hardworking person and you admired that. What you did not admire was how much he pulled over time despite hating it with his entire being, constantly doing it over and over again. But this time it looked like work was harsh on him. Sure, he had no injuries or anything like that. Regardless, it was later than the usual time he came back from overtime and he looked much weary than usual.
You sighed, wishing you could do more than just comfort him. For the time being, all you could do was offer soft caresses over his back. "I know, honey," you whispered.
His head peaks out of your chest, meeting your soft frown at him. Your concerned eyes, your hand on his back, your quiet whispers...you were worried for him, that much was obvious with how gentle you were rather than telling him off for coming home late yet again.
"Sorry. I had to work overtime to-" A yawn cuts him off, his hand muffling his lips while his mind tries to coax him into falling asleep by focusing on how he could rest just like this. Yet, he didn't want to seem rude by simply greeting you and falling asleep on you. You deserved more than just a tired man-
"Why are you apologizing?" You asked softly, cutting his line of thought before you even knew what he was thinking.
In your mind, you saw no reason for him to apologize. Work was work, he was providing just as much (definitely more) than you were and it was normal. What wasn't was how frequently his work would cut not only into their time together but also into his time to rest and relax. You could never hold something like this against him knowing that it wasn't his choice to stay longer at work. Stress, fatigue, soreness in his eyes alone, dark and sunken from how much this has happened as of late.
No. He had no reason to apologize.
But Nanami didn't see it that way. You deserved more than this...not eating alone or going to sleep alone. He wanted and needed to give you some time with him, he didn't want to be this exhausted, barely functioning person to you. Even if you didn't understand why he was apologizing, he still needed to apologize.
"I'm sorry for-"
Your hand took his hand, interrupting him as you wrapped your hand around his and sat up on the bed. With a sigh, you take his goggles from his hand and place them on the nightstand.
"Stop it. You have nothing to apologize for, got it?" You said gently, wanting to be as soft-spoken as you could to not disturb him, let alone let him think that you were angry at him. Why would you get angry over this? It wasn't his fault and you knew that tonight would be different had he had a say in whether he was going to pull overtime tonight.
Helping him sit up again, your hands slip underneath his blazer on his shoulders, rubbing down his arms to help him take it off and setting it on the other side of the bed. As the fabric left his arms, Nanami rested his head against your shoulder with a small groan, placing a hand on your arm to stop you. Sure, it felt nice to have you touch him like this, but he didn't feel like he deserved it. He left you alone for the evening and came home late. How could he let you do more for him than he deserved? His eyes might barely be open and he might be very, very tired, but he couldn't make you feel obligated to help him.
"Darling," he mumbled, sounding unconvincing of pushing your help away, "you don't need to. I..." He sighs, feeling that slight burn in his eyes with a blink, "...I don't want you to see me like this."
He felt very worn-out, slower than usual as if gravity weighed twice as much tonight. Even so, he didn't want you to think you had to help him. He didn't like this side of him where you couldn't lean on him, it made him feel like a burden to you when he had already interrupted your sleep.
But he was met with your head leaning against his, trying to comfort him further as you saw him frown.
If there was something everyone agreed about Nanami it's that he is a selfless person. Someone always wanting to help others, protect them, put them before himself. It was actually one of the many sides that made you fall for him. So it was easy to understand why he was so self-conscious at that moment. It was a juxtaposition of the man he usually is: capable, sufficient, and reliable. Qualities that his fatigue was preventing him from being, but that didn't mean he had to be ashamed of it.
"I wanna help you though."
"You're already doing more than enough by welcoming me home. You should be telling me off for coming so late, not comforting me like this." He explained, his eyelids heavy from the way your warm cheeks touched his temple.
You shook your head, hands coming to his neck and tracing over his tie for her fingers to quickly undo it.
"I've told you already, you have nothing to feel bad for and I have nothing to be angry about." You pulled on his tie, wrapping it around your hand until it was rolled up and then placing it close to his blazer on the bed. "You're tired and overworked. I can't let you do things on your own when I can help you, especially when I want to help my love."
Nanami lifts his head out of your shoulder, trying to straighten up in his seat as you stripped him of the many layers that weighed him down. As much as he tried to make it seem otherwise, you were right—he was tired and overworked, far more than what he could handle. With you so set on helping him, the least he could do was stop his nagging and let you help. It was a bit embarrassing that work has rendered him this weak, not from some kind of injuries but simply because of how body felt ready to shut down at any moment.
Here he was—a grown man of his age acting like a helpless child. He would've protested again had it not been for how devoted towards helping him, towards him. You might be doing what any caring spouse would do, but to him it felt like giving him a small break he didn't deserve.
His lips still find it in them to curl in the slightest as he says tiredly, "thank you, love."
"Happy to help," you answered.
And there it was, that beautiful smile that melted away your frown once he gave in to your aid.
It was silent for a few moments in the room except from the click-click sound after you unclasped his suspenders from his trousers, setting them on the side. There was little to no light, only the nightstand lamp and whatever else managed to slip in from the window, with him tired and you undressing him as your hands slid to his shirt.
Careful to not startle him, your fingers undo his buttons and reveal more and more of his skin with each. Once they were all undone, you slipped your hands underneath his shirt, feeling a few bumps in the way that made you pinch your brows together confused. It wasn't until you started to slide the shirt off his arms that the bumps made sense—they were actually dents that ran front to back on his torso. Though they didn't seem serious, it makes your lips pout.
"I didn't know you had these."
Nanami's eyes look away from you and down to his own chest where your eyes focused on. In all honesty, he rarely acknowledged these—they were just marks left by his suspenders, a small price to pay from his daily attire. Sure, they were tight enough, restrictive enough to leave a mark on his body, but he didn't see any reason to mention them.
"It's nothing, love. They don't hurt at all."
Despite his assurance, your eyes seemed glued to his body. They were just a result of constantly wearing suspenders to a pretty physical job, no pain would come from them. Yet, seeing these marks meant more than just that. It was about the amount of time for these marks to set in the first place, making you realize just how long and much his workday was. Hours that, if they left this kind of mark in his body, were enough to lead to this exhaustion you could see in him.
That's when your fingers begin to think on their own. Your hand comes back up to his shoulder, but rather than resting your palm over it, your fingers graze over the marks and delicately follow down the path on his chest.
As your mind lets your hands do as you wish, Nanami could feel how worried you were from your touch alone. It was gentle but it had that hint of caution, as if too much pressure would make it uncomfortable for him. It made him feel vulnerable. He could see your mind running with all these thoughts from his marks alone. You knew he hated overtime, you knew he was stubborn to work despite his better judgment, and you both knew he needed to rest.
These marks reminded him how much he worked on a day alone.
These marks showed you how hard he worked alone for the two of you.
Underneath your fingertips, Nanami allowed himself to savor your touch further by closing his eyes for a second, unable to prevent the sigh that escapes his lips that makes you snap from your trance and look up at him. Though you knew it was best to hurry up and help him get ready for bed, something within her sparked at his marks. Your free hand decides to follow the other’s steps and comes up to the other side of Nanami’s body, roaming gently down the marks his suspenders have left behind. Soft, delicate, and gentle touches, but most importantly, loving touches.
Nanami stays still, letting you graze all over his body as he swallows down his self-conscious thoughts. It tickled a little to have your hands go so slow and so lightly over his skin, making his muscles tense underneath them. Despite that, he didn’t want your hands to stop, so he doesn't make any effort to as his eyes follow how your hands move down his body and earn a ghost of a moan from him. He couldn’t help himself when his exhaustion made it hard to think much, but you were just being so patient and caring and loving and…and so many other things that made him thank whatever deity that allowed him to be with you, that allowed him to have you as his everything.
Your hands come to a halt at his moan, your heart picking up a pace. At first, you worried the touch was actually hurting or unsettling to him when his body tensed, interpreting his moan as a groan. But when you looked up and saw how his eyes were glued on you and your hands moving across his body as if he wanted to take it all in rather than push you away, you let your hands rest on him and slide back up to his shoulders. You got a little carried away and you didn’t want to tire him any more.
“You do so much for us…for me.” You start with a whisper, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Kento.”
And see, hearing you say that makes absolute nonsense to him. It catches him off guard.
Your eyes meet, him shaking off his exhaustion for a second to open his a bit more, to actually be able to look at you. Despite how your hands and eyes roam up and down his body, Nanami feels no lust or desire under your touch. It was careful, sweet, just as he has come to expect from you whenever you caught him in this state.
This was just his spouse’s stare, you were his spouse. It wasn’t a matter of whether or not you deserved it (you did, that’s simply out of the question). He wanted to do all this, whatever he could for you. He would sacrifice so much just so you wouldn’t have to worry or work hard. As he stares back at you, eyes looking up and down at his beautiful darling before him, he smiled softly. Though your words made no sense to him, they were a reminder of how thankful he was that you worried, that you were thankful for him like he was for you. A reminder of how much he loved you and hoped that, though he didn’t say it out loud enough, you would still know that without a doubt in between the lines…
“You deserved it.” He answers back.
You chuckled. Of course he would think that and smile like this was nothing. Yet, there was something about his smile. You hated how tired it looked, how tired he looked. But when he smiled right now, softly telling her one thing to mean another…You shook your head, shifting your hands on his bare shoulders to rub circles over his skin and soothe whatever tension you could feel there.
“You’re the one working to the point of exhaustion while I fall asleep before you come home. You do much more for me than I do for you.”
“You do a lot for me,” Nanami started, his brows pinching slightly when you kept discrediting yourself, “you work around the house, keep the place nice…you’re taking care of me even right now after I woke you up. You do plenty for me. This is not up for debate.” He chuckles, not even letting you argue about how little you did for him because that wasn’t the case.
Your gaze softness as your hands come up to his jaw before running your fingers down to his chin. Even through that tension and obvious lack of energy, he still found it in him to appreciate her, to be adamant about her contributions and have her see them. Silently, your eyes flash that gratitude of him to him, admiring each feature on his face.
It was a soft touch, the kind of touch that makes you wonder if it was skin to skin or a feather to skin. It was a quiet but loud way of letting him know how much you appreciate him back. The kind of love and fondness that he needed after another shift.
“I’ll always see it that way, you know?” Nanami adds, “It’s for us, so we can be comfortable. But most of all, so I can spoil you like you deserve it.”
You smile at him, unable to keep it in yourself to kiss him so you do. You lean in to press a quick and soft peck on his lips, taking a step further to remind him of how much he meant to you. You lean back, careful to not over do your kiss when he is this tired. But rest assured, that a small kiss such as that one was enough for Nanami to feel the weight of it, making him feel loved.
“Let’s get you off of these, yeah?” You whispered, your hands sliding off the marks from his suspenders, though you made a mental note to show them some extra love when he was much more in the mood.
You kissed his cheek and readjusted how you were sitting on the bed, going back to the reality that it was quite late, he was exhausted, and you both could use the rest. Shaking off those thoughts, you were set back on your original mission to help him get ready for bed. Your hands go down to his belt, carefully undoing it and pulling it off the loops of his trousers.
But it proved to be much harder to shake off those thoughts from earlier when his body was on display like this, especially as you helped him slide off said trousers after putting his belt aside with the rest of his garments. It wasn’t just the suspenders’ marks, but also his muscles coupled with the feeling of his skin and hair against her hands that made Nanami shake his head with a chuckle as he called out your name.
“You’re doing it again, love.” He wasn’t oblivious to the effect he was having on you, how he was getting you going, as he softly mumbled your name softly.
“Doing what?” You asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, trying to play innocent. After all, it was merely a split second you were staring, right?
“Staring at me.” Nanami smiled wider, leaning forward now that this reaction from you gave him a small boost of energy, all just to tease you. “Are you admiring your husband, dear?”
You knew he was just teasing, especially when he was pulling such a pet name by the end of it and leaned forward towards you. You weren’t blind either, apparently you weren’t the only one enjoying a show with your spouse as the star of it, not when his eyes followed your hand and slowly drifted to other parts of you.
“If I was, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one, am I?” You teased right back, looking at him with that smirk still on your face without moving an inch away from him and in fact, deciding to double it down by resting a hand on his thighs.
“A man can’t love the person he married anymore?” Nanami chuckled, silently taking everything in. Your body, your face, your voice…nothing from you was not appealing, you were truly perfect in his eyes.
His answer makes you laugh. You took a small breath, hand sliding off his thigh and across the bed until it finds his own hand, resting yours on top of his as your gaze returns to his. A smile comes to your lips, your heart starting to feel lighter and faster with every beat. Tease or not, Nanami was a natural at making you feel like this.
“A husband can definitely love their spouse.” You replied, your voice having a slight tease in it as well.
“Especially when they are so beautiful.” Nanami adds, his smile growing soft as he leaned against your forehead and closed his eyes. He still felt tired, but he really liked this moment with you right now, feeling as if it was making up for the time he’s been away from you. So he wanted to stay in it a little longer.
“I see, so that’s why you were starting too.” You whispered, though there is the hint of a giggle in your voice that Nanami is able to pick on, going as far as being able to hear your smile.
“Yeah, that is why.” Nanami sighs, laying back on the bed and resting his head on your thighs, groaning softly once he feels his back meet the bed. He could feel how your hands immediately found his hair, gently combing his blond locks with your fingers.
It was comfortable, he didn’t want to move. He wanted to fall asleep just like this. Not yet though. He still wanted to be with you, feel you like this. Even if the two of you weren’t talking much and he was tired out of his mind, you being here and letting him be like this on your lap was enough to calm him further. You being here made him calm.
“I’ve been so busy.” Nanami mumbles, taking a deep breath as his eyes closed for a second.
“It’s okay.” You assured him. “It’s work.”
But there was something in your voice that didn’t match your words. Nanami knew what it was—how much you wanted him to cut back on overtime for his sake. But your words felt as if you were trying to let him know that you wouldn’t hold it against him how his work cuts into his time with you, that he didn’t need to feel that kind of guilt from you. He knew he needed to set a firmer boundary with work so he could put you first like he wanted to, rather than making you worry like this.
Just imagining you falling asleep, waiting for him to come back only for him to come long after, was painful. He didn’t want that for you anymore.
He shakes his head, his hand coming up to yours that was losing its fingers across his hair, stopping your movements. No matter how many times you assured him, how much you tried to be understanding, he didn’t want this to drag on. Work was work, true. But it shouldn’t be overtaking his life, be more important than you were to him. You came before that, and anything for that matter, it wasn’t up to debate. Especially when you were so patient and caring to him despite how neglectful he can be.
“I shouldn’t…” He sighed, taking some time to form over his words. He didn’t want, let alone deserve, so many passes and he wanted to own up to all those times he had to come home late. “Don’t worry so much about me, please,” it’s what he ends up saying.
His words are met with a soft squeeze of your hand after you turn your hand around to be holding his, your free hand coming down to rest around his chest. You could see what he meant with that.
Don’t wait for me.
I can handle myself.
You don’t have to forgive me so easily.
Truth be told, you knew other people would grow irritated at their husbands coming home late, scolding them for the time they finally arrive and leading to distrust. But being married to a jujutsu sorcerer like him…it was a different case. You trusted him with this job, knowing how much more fulfilling it was than working corporate; trusted him to be careful and learned the kind of things he had to deal with. It was a dangerous job, it was exhausting, and you wonder how he can even ask you to not worry. To not worry about Nanami was simply against your marriage vows. You couldn’t do that.
“You’re my husband. I’m supposed to worry about you.”
“Just trust that I’ll be fine.” Nanami said softly, a small sigh leaving his lips as he looked up at you.
He could see that concern in your eyes. Though it is nice to have someone who worries about him, there’s still that annoying part in him that makes him feel guilty for making you worry in the first place. Yet, he knew that he couldn’t blame you. No matter how many times he insisted on you not waiting up for him or on tending his wounds, he knew you would still worry about him. In a way, you both just wanted to do more for the other—you felt like he did a lot for you and he felt like he didn’t do enough for you.
“I’m tired, love,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes with his free hand, “let’s not fight…not tonight.”
“It’s not fighting,” you let go of his hand, letting it slip to his cheek. You knew better than to try and argue when he was this tired, let alone when you knew he had the best intentions even if he dismissed himself so often. “I do trust you, but I still need to care for the person I love so much..”
Nanami chuckled, looking up at you with a tired smile. As he took a deep breath, he could feel how lucky and thankful he was at this moment. Even if a part of him tried to weigh him down with this guilt over how things seemed to be in his mind, you somehow knew how to show him the reality of things. He wasn’t neglectful like his mind was telling him, not when he was trying to peel his eyes open just to spend more time with you. You weren’t forgiving because he was your husband, but because you trusted him enough with your heart. You weren’t worried over him because he came late, you worried because you loved him.
Before he can even answer, you gently pull him off your lap and lay his head back down on the bed. You stand up, patting his shoulder.
“I’ll get your pajamas.” You smile at him, the kind of smile that says don’t worry about a thing, before you turn to his dresser.
Nanami thanks you, sitting up on the bed and stretching his arms and back. The room quiets down, neither of you saying a word as you come back with his night garments and placing them by his side to let him put them on. Not yet done, you take all of his work clothes and turn back to the dresser to put his clothes away while he changes. Some are set aside for the laundry basket, others are hung back up, and others tucked away in the drawers.
Once done with that task, you turn back to head to the bed, laying down underneath the sheets like you were long before he came back for work. He was a bit slow in putting his pajamas on to no one’s surprise since he might as well fall asleep right then and there, but eventually he lays down next to you after turning off the lights, his body facing yours. You wrap an arm around him, pulling yourself closer, sighing when he does the same by rolling on his back and letting you rest your head on his chest to which you happily do.
“I’m surprised you lasted so long without dropping unconscious onto the bed.” You said softly, a tinge of a tease in your voice.
Nanami chuckles, a yawn following soon after as fatigue starts to get to him after god knows how many hours of working.
“So am I. I’ve been like that for hours, honestly.” He pulls you a bit closer, his hand gently grazing up and down your arm. A touch that made your body melt into his body. “But it was worth it. I got to spend more time with you, even if I only had half a brain to see you.”
You hummed, your head turning up to look at him before pressing a kiss on his shoulder. You decided to not say anything, wanting him to get that rest he not only needed but also deserved. That doesn’t mean his words don’t make your heart flutter, even as he says them in that hoarse voice from how tired he was, it made them feel much more softer that he pushed himself to let her know that.
You lift up the covers and let yourself get comfortable with him as your pillow and you in his arms, the two of you cuddling in the quiet and silent room. A few seconds pass, then minutes, and you were sure he had already fallen asleep as evident by his deep breath that made your head rise and fall with his chest, his heart serving as your personal lullaby. Knowing that you had done everything you could for him in this moment, you let yourself close your eyes and begin to return to your sleep from earlier.
Though before you could truly fall into slumber, you feel his head lean against yours, a soft kiss placed on the top of your head that makes your heart beat for him, feeling safe in his arms as he manages to finally answer back to you from earlier:
“I love you too, dear. Thank you…for everything you do.”
Nanami would’ve said more, he probably wanted to have it not been from how his words slurred as his body was finally claimed over by that sleep he pushed off for far too long. After all, now that he finally got his fill of you, he could now rest properly.
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shyravenns · 3 days
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Talking with my friend @injestedsoap about what it would be like to date the 141 guys~
Ghost: Hesitant, and would be extremely reluctant to date a civilian. I feel like he's a short term relationship kinda guy, but he's a gentleman when he's with you and he tries his best to make the experience at least somewhat memorable. Charming in his own quiet way and is a sucker for someone who not only gets his lame jokes, but laughs at them. Is more than a bit guarded esp if he's with you during a mission, but he can skate around an unwelcome conversation just fine. Not a perfect boyfriend, but he tries even if you have to pry him out of his shell little by little.
Gaz: Almost tries too hard to be perfect and normal. He knows how busy he can be and the time you spend together seems to get less and less. He has a bad habit of overcompensating. Big romantic dinners, long days spent in bed, and him trying so very hard to be attentive to your issues (even if he can't relate to them). Has more anxiety than he let's on esp when he's not in the field. Patient and understanding, but I feel like he needs someone who makes him stop and calm down. Chill in a very quard dog way, but friendly overall.
Price: Same with Gaz, but he can be distant. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but it's been ingrained within him to keep his private life separate from his personal. workaholic and an ex alcoholic, he tries his best to be as mentally present with you as possible.He feels guilty 90% of the time when he sees a house that looks lived in, but lonely. Would def be insecure about how much he doesn't think he deserves you, and tries to buy your forgiveness (even if there's nothing to forgive) with gifts. Bit of a hopeless romantic, but you'll never hear it from him. Would come home with a puppy for you tho
Soap: Falls in love fast and quick, and burns out twice as fast. Can be a bit intense at first, but he's loyal. Weirdly observant, and is the type to bring you a present from some forgotten conversation betweenn the two of you. Much more comfortable being FWB with someone as relationships aren't his go to. Compared to the others, he's more well adjusted to being in a relationship and he's a good boyfriend all things considering. Struggles to relate to civillians at times, and is used to being around soldiers. Can be distant and a bit dismissive, but he doesn't always mean it THAT way. Def a lust at first sight to oh I wanna keep you forever type guy
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dad George and his kiddos making a surprise for an anniversary and it’s just full of happiness and laughs
"So, we did this for you - auntie Cara helped us put it together", Olivia said as she pressed play on the remote and started playing a video on the TV.
The video began with some photos of you when you were younger before your parents were in shot and mother spoke up about you, "Y/N was always a curious kid, she would often try and go forward first and she always jumped in head first!", your mother giggled, "actually, the first time she walked was just like that - she was crawling one minute and then she just got up and started walking! I was so worried she would fall and hit her head on something that I was the one who actually fell on the floor, and Y/N let out the loudest giggles ever", she recalled, "Happy birthday, Y/N, we love you so much", both of your parents blew you a kiss.
"You're really clever, mummy", Arthur complimented as everyone laughed at the story.
Next was George in one of the places that was part of your story, "this is where I met Y/N, and we've since had many dates here, along with some important moments of our relationship", your husband told the camera and you remembered them all. The conversations about whether or not it was too soon to attend a race, if you should move in together in Monaco, your work contracts and George's, house hunting.
"Darling, I love you more than words can say and over the last couple of years, we've made our beautiful family together and I couldn't be happier", he smiled, "I'm proud of you everyday and in awe at all your accomplishments - even when you're too hard on yourself. Happy Birthday, my love, I hope to spend many, many, many of these together".
Next was George's parents and his siblings along with your nieces and nephews before the kids showed up.
"You're the best mummy in the world and we love you", Olivia said before she looked at Arthur as she made sure Will was sitting up right against her front.
"We love it when you make the silky faces underwater or whenever you read our bedtime stories with the different faces like this", he went on to exemplify.
"Guys! This was so sweet", you cooed as they all hugged you, "thank you, this was a wonderful surprise", you kissed their cheeks and then Will's head as he slept on your chest.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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hazbinhappy · 2 days
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hazbin hotel characters react to reader having bpd??
A/N: hi! i was kinda worried to do this because i am not too well verse on this yet, so i had to do a bit of research on borderline personality disorder (i assume that is what you mean i almost mixed it up with bipolar disorder, but if you meant bipolar i will write for that too!) i assumed you meant the hotel gang too since that is who we see the most!
I kept it mainly platonic and as a group, but it’d be similar if you were to pick any as a romantic partner!
So you’re a sinner and you come to the hotel and you are seeking redemption and you are trying HARD
Charlie, sweet Charlie, somehow has the patience of a saint and is willing to work with you… but she sorta becomes a pleaser just to keep you happy when you get a bit explosive
Which isn’t always the best, but she’d rather take the approach of appeasing you
Angel follows this same path simply due to his own trauma dealing with explosive people
Maybe Lucifer follows this? He seems on the more passive side in my opinion, but with how fast paced the show was we didn’t get to see much of his character
I honestly think Sir Pentious would actually try to avoid you if you’re in a bad mood, but he loves the happy times you two spend together! (Bonus: the egg bois love being with you no matter what :D)
I think Husk and Vaggie would not care about your mood and simply go with the flow or treat you depending on your mood. You have an attitude or are in a bad state? Then you are butting heads with them
But the relationship is still fine it’s like an ocean: the tides come and go but it’s still an ocean
Now Nifty?…. No brain cells. She is somehow always cheery. Just don’t be overly mean then she’s fine!
I saved Alastor for last cause he’s a bitch. Y’know when his fake smile is like super fake and it’s clear he’s annoyed? That’s him when you’re not good. He’s so fucking sassy and snarky.
Now in good moods or normalcy, everything is fine and peachy! Good times!
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lunaroserites · 2 days
Text
Art and Ice - Ground Rules
Pairing: Eventual Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Characters: Natasha, Wanda, Pietro, Loki, Bucky, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, a lot of the avengers cast is mentioned.
Summery: Bucky and Doodle spend some quality time together.
This might a 2 or 3 parter (it's gonna be more because cannot help myself). College AU, our boy Bucky is on the hockey team, and reader is an art major (because I love that trope and couldn't help myself)
Warnings: Not beta'd! All mistakes are my own. Friends fluff, swearing, mentions of college students being college students. Bit of friendly harmless flirting between friends. Bucky is a playboy. Flirting. Mentions of not eating or drinking for a hours (ADHD Brain)
Word Court: 2859
Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! ❤️
Please do not repost, translate or otherwise copy my work elsewhere, without my express permission, thank you! Lunaroserites on tumblr and ao3
Catch up here: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 ❤️
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You didn’t see Barnes the next day, which wasn’t surprising, it was Friday night after a win so celebration extended into the start of the weekend. Saturday was much the same, you toiled away in the art room in front of a large sketch pad trying to get something together while your canvas dried. 
You also had a small piece you were working on for a gallery wall you were doing for a local gallery that was happening once the semester ended. So your plate was full and adding the insistent nagging from your brain to find Barnes, your patience was wearing thin. 
You threw the paint brush at the sink, it sailed in a smooth arche before clattering in the paint covered sink. You ran your hands over your face and groaned as you leaned forward, elbows planted in the table. Your mind is running amuck and making you lose patience. 
“Doodle,” the new brush you were holding snapped in your tense grip as you looked up, startled. Barnes was standing at the door holding a bag that smelled delicious and your stomach growled. You may have forgotten to take a break and eat. 
“Barnes,” you said, your tone tense. His eyebrow quirked up as he walked in and placed the bag down a few feet away. 
“Are you okay,” your hand kinda hurt from snapping the brush a moment ago, and your head was killing you with a raging headache. Which might be because you haven’t eaten in a while or because you were thirsty. You took a deep breath and nodded. 
“Yeah, just a little stressed,” you answered. The smell of the food in the bag makes your mouth water and your stomach twist in an uncomfortable way. “What can I do for you?” 
“You weren’t at practice all weekend. Nat said you were hauled up in the art room,” he said nonchalantly, you just stared at him. “And I figured I would stop by and check on my favourite girl,” he said confidently, and you rolled your eyes in response. Your stomach decided that moment was the best time to make its presence known and grumbled loudly. Your cheeks immediately darkened in embarrassment. 
“And she said you most likely didn’t eat,” the look on his face caught you off guard, he had a look of genuine concern etched on his features. “She knows you well,” he mused, his tongue poked between his teeth as he winked at you. You leaned back against your chair and extended your hand and gestured to the chair across from you, prompting him to sit. He took a seat across from you and smiled. “I hope you like burgers,” he said as he pulled the bag over. 
“I don’t mind them, are they from Gus’s?” You asked, he nodded. 
“I wasn’t sure what you drank so I got water,” he added, pulling a couple water bottles out of his gym bag. You smiled and chuckled a little at how thoughtful he was being. 
“Waters fine,” you accepted the bottle and cracked it open and drank half it one go. He eyed you suspiciously and you gulped down hard. “I get lost in what I’m doing and sometimes forget to eat or drink,” you mumbled under his intense gaze. 
“That’s not healthy,” he muttered, pulling out a burger and handing it to you. You accepted and opened it up, taking a bite and biting back the moan you almost let out. 
“I know, but when I’m in the zone. I just don’t realise how much time passes,” you said softly, he nodded and you two ate the food in a comfortable silence. 
“Thank you,” you said as you threw out the garbage and sat back down. 
“No problem, can’t let ya starve,” he chuckled and rubbed his chin in his hand. “What’s ya working on?” He asked and looked at the few pieces shattered behind you and a shadow box a few feet away from you. 
“Uh, a project for an art exhibit once schools out,” you answered. 
“Mind if I work on some homework? It’s quieter here than my house,” you raised an eyebrow at him, that was unexpected. “What?” he asked. 
“Nothing, don’t mind me,” you said as you looked down to work on the piece for the shadow box. Your eyes drifted up every now and then as you observed him working on what looked to be some kind of science homework. 
His eyes wandered over your frame every now and then as he took in your look of complete concentration as you worked with a small piece of clay. He couldn’t help but appreciate the dedication you had toward your craft. 
“What are you working on?” You asked after some time. 
“Science homework,” he gave you a cheeky smile. You gave him a deadpan expression. “It’s space stuff,” he answered. 
“What about space stuff?” You asked, genuine curiosity laced your tone. 
“I’m learning about stars,” he tilted the book he was reading, it was open to a diagram of a star. 
“Oh neat!” You took a closer look at the diagrams and then looked back at him. He was rubbing his neck with a sheepish look on his face. “I did a project a couple years ago on Saturn,” you pulled your phone out and showed him a picture. 
“Wow, you did a fantastic job,” he took your phone for a moment to get a closer look at it. “Wait, that looks familiar,” he looked up at you again. “That looks like the one in the observatory.”
“That’s because it is,” you chuckled. His eyes widened a little and his smile broadened. 
“I made out with a girl right next to it,” he chuckled and your smile dropped and you busied yourself with another piece of clay. 
“That’s great,” you forced out through the firm line your mouth was now set in. 
“Why do you do that?” He asked suddenly, noticing your immediate change in demeanour. You looked up and your eyes narrowed at him. 
“Do what?” 
“That? Get all closed off when I say something you don’t like,” he asked. 
“Because I really didn’t need to know you made out with a girl next to my art piece,” you stated. “I was told if I have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” 
“I’m not a child, I can handle criticism,” he defended. 
“That’s not the point. Have you ever once sat down and just chatted with a girl without the expectation of sex afterwards?” You asked, your tone very genuine. He sat back in his chair and looked anywhere but your face. 
“No. Not in a long time,” his answer caught you guard. You were expecting some snide comment or a lie. When you looked at his face, he looked completely sincere. You took a deep breath knowing the answer to the question you were about to ask. 
“Is that why you’re here now?” You didn’t recognize the voice that asked the question. It was soft and meek, nothing like your usual cadence. He didn’t answer right away, and based on the look on his face he didn’t really know what to say or how to answer. 
“Honestly,” he took a deep breath and looked at his hands. “Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. At first definitely. The first time I spoke to you it was. But I don’t know,” his rambling gave away how honest he was being. “I still want to,” he paused, “to still sleep with you. I also want to hang out with you. And get to know you.” 
You couldn’t help the slight upturn of your lip as you released a long inhale, “thank you for being honest.” 
“I might be a prick. But at least I’m an honest one,” he tried to joke. His smile dropped when you didn’t laugh. “So where does that leave us now?” 
“I don’t know Barnes. I don’t want to sleep with you. But I don’t want you to take that as a challenge to get me to sleep with you. If you truly want to be friends, and we get to know one another with no ulterior motives, then we can do that,” you didn’t want to sugar coat it. You also didn’t have the balls to admit you had a tiny crush on him because that would go straight to his dick and this conversation would be pointless. 
“Well to start you could start calling me Bucky, Barnes is so detached,” he gave you a small smile. 
“Well that was the point,” you chuckled. “But okay, Bucky.” His smile grew larger and he pumped his fist in the air. 
“I’m still calling you Doodle though,” he said, his tone serious as he stared at you. 
“That’s fine, I guess,” you chuckled while rolling your eyes at him. 
“So how much of my piece is finished?” He asked, you couldn’t help but laugh and pointed over your shoulder to the large canvas behind you. “That’s empty.” 
“I know. I have to get some practice sketches  done first before I paint on the big canvas,” you decided to not mention the two you ruined.
“Can I see the practice sketches?” He asked hopefully. 
“Sure,” you relented and passed the sketch pad over and watched him look at it. 
“How do you do that?” He asked, passing it back a moment later. 
“Draw?” You raised an eyebrow at him. He nodded. “I just do, it takes a lot of practice and effort. I could ask the same of you, how do you skate so effortlessly?” 
He smiled for a moment before answering, “I guess it’s the same. I just get on the ice and go. The moment I lace my skates up and I hit the ice everything else just fades away, it’s just me, my stick and the puck.” 
“For me, I pick up the pen, or brush and just start somewhere and get lost in it. It’s me, the brush and the canvas,” you finished. 
“Hey,” he was serious now, that caught your attention fully as you looked at him, “I wanted to apologise for what I said the other day…”
“Bucky,” you reached out and placed your smaller hand on his gently as you cut him off, “stop, it’s okay. We both said things that weren’t very nice. For what it’s worth.” You looked into his eyes sincerely, “I’m sorry too. It’s behind us now.” 
He smiled and nodded, “okay Doodle.” 
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That conversation was the catalyst to your developing and lively friendship with Bucky, when the team wasn’t travelling for the away games over the next week he would sit in the art room and do his homework while you worked on the art projects you had due. 
It was Thursday night, Bucky was just getting to the art studio after practice when he saw you hunched over your sketch pad, your hands in your hair and you were sniffling. He entered and quickly threw his gym bag down and came around the table and crouched down next to you. He placed his hand on your forearm, trying not to startle you too much. You jumped anyway since you didn’t hear him come in, you were too wrapped up in your own thoughts to notice anything else.
“Doodle,” he said softly. “Everything okay?” You shook your head and slumped into his chest, that caught him off guard, he quickly wrapped his arms around you and hugged you back as you cried into his chest. As quickly as you collapsed into him you pulled back and shook your head. 
“I’m sorry,” you blurted out and placed your head in your hands. Bucky was a little stunned at how quickly your demeanour changed. 
“It's okay,” he stood and took his usual seat across from you. “Wanna talk about it?” You let out an exaggerated sigh and sniffled loudly. 
“My art professor is a bitch,” you groaned. “And I have a bunch more projects due and she’s just awful. If I didn’t need this course to graduate I would have dropped it.” You pressed your cheek against the table and closed your eyes. 
“What did she do?” Bucky asked.
“After class she decided to tell me she doesn’t know why I bother trying, and that the school was foolish to offer, a no talent, wannabe one of the only full ride scholarships offered for the arts,” you were crying again. You had spent years honing your craft, and fought tooth and nail for the scholarship that allowed you to attend school here. 
“She’s probably just jealous,” you laughed at that, Nat had said the same thing when you texted her earlier about what happened. 
“I have an appointment with the head of the department tomorrow afternoon. This isn’t the first time she’s been awful to me,” you didn’t see his fist clench and the momentary anger flash across his face as you said that. 
“I wouldn’t listen to her Doodle,” Bucky reached across the table and patted your arm gently. “Your art is awesome, and you’re incredibly talented,” he finished. You smiled against the table and lifted your head up to send him a thankful look.
“Thanks Bucky, that means a lot,” you sighed and whipped your eyes with the back of your hand and rolled your shoulders. “I got some stuff done on your portrait,” you said, your voice still a little coarse, but you felt a lot better. His face lit and his full attention was on the covered canvas behind you. You stood and pulled the cover off and showed him, you had some of the out lining done, the positioning and scale perfect. You felt very proud of it so far. 
“Holy shit Doodle,” Bucky stood and got closer to admire the outlining. “You know, once this is done, you should get them to let you display it in the sports annex,” he had a smug tone as he said this. You chuckled and rolled your eyes. 
“Maybe if you bat your eyelashes at the department head, and ask him really nicely, he’ll let me,” you bumped your hip into his and smirked up at him. He smiled down at you and the softness in his eye made your heart skip a beat, you quickly cleared your throat and moved from him to grab a pencil. 
“I’m going to work my homework, and stay out of your way,” Bucky said softly as he moved from your side to sit down again. You smiled looking down at your feet before you started to do some more outlining. 
His eyes would shift from his homework every so often and they would rove over your body. He knew he didn’t have a shot in hell at getting you to agree to sleeping with him, you made that clear and he was really trying to make sure he kept that at the forefront of his mind when he was around you because he really did want to be friends with you.
But those leggings you wore hugged the curve of your ass so perfectly it was making it difficult. He felt his mouth dry out a little as he watched you rock from side to side as you drew on the canvas, and he involuntarily let a low whistle when you stretched up and exposed some of the soft skin of your back. 
You immediately turned and looked at him with a raised brow and squinted at him, full judgement. “Barnes,” you were warning him, he raised his hands up in surrender. 
“Not my fault you look amazing, it's a crime,” he defended himself with a cocky tone. You couldn’t stop the blush that crawled up your neck and on to your cheeks. 
“You’re insufferable,” you groaned, turning your back to him again, the blush still strong on your cheeks. He laughed loudly, before going back to his homework. You couldn’t keep the little smile off your face, you knew he used that line on countless girls, and it was probably a line he used often to get in their pants, but damn he was such a smooth talker, and he said all the right things in the right tones. You hated that you longed for his compliments. 
It was quiet for a while longer, just the sounds of pencils on paper and canvas filling the air.   
“Hey Doodle,” you hummed in response, not wanting to look away. “There is a final game just before playoffs, it's here, do you think you’ll come?” 
“I thought Nat said you guys were done with the home games now,” you still didn’t look at him, trying to make sure your scale was correct. 
“This one isn’t a regular season game, but I think you’ll really enjoy it,” he was being incredibly cryptic about whatever it is. You turned now, and raised an eyebrow at him. 
“Then what is it?” You asked as you eyed him. 
“Surprise, but I promise you’ll love it,” he sounded so earnest that you couldn’t help but believe him. 
“Okay,” I chuckled. “I’ll go,” you relented, trying to hide your genuine excitement. 
Taglist: @vicmc624, @calwitch, @learisa, @aaqua-tofana
Feel free to send me a message if you have a request or would like more, or would like to be added to the tag list ❤️
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itsabouttimex2 · 2 days
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE YOUR AU!!!!! IT'S SO GOOD!!! op, your ideas are fantastic, you're really creative and an awesome writer!! 💫🌟
The monkiefam dynamic is so fun to read about — and pretty sad in MK's case, the poor guy.
Hopefully it's not too dark of a question, but how brutal does MK get during the primal moon? If he gets too violent with reader, does Wukong or Mac try stopping him or would they just let the natural pecking order happen?
I feel so bad for him, he's is gonna have a hell of a time acknowleding all the stuff he did during the primal moon week :/
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me! I’m glad people like my silly little things! (UPDATED to add a few extra characters!)
Thankfully for Y/N, MK isn’t too brutal- I don’t think they’ll come out with anything worse than a sprained wrist or ankle. The trauma will persist far beyond their injuries, however. When the last green moon of the week fades, he’s positively distraught.
Lining his hand curiously up to a slap mark on Y/N’s cheek to check it, tears brimming in his eyes when it lines up too perfectly to be a coincidence.
I don’t know whether he heartbrokenly distances himself or tries to make up for it with extreme smothering. The poor kid just wanted to spend what was supposed to “just another green moon” with one of his best friends.
And as for Macaque, though he’d really like to help Y/N… he just doesn’t have the ranking. MK is above him in the hierarchy, so he genuinely can’t do anything to upset or piss him off. This only that accomplishes is him getting smacked around right beside Y/N. All he can really do for them is apply herbal balm and bandages after the fact. If he hasn’t had a deal applied to his powers yet, Macaque might think about trying his shadow portals, but… it’s probably better not to risk having two angry monkeys on his tail, demanding to know where he’s hidden their beloved cub/rookie.
Sun Wukong is crazy delusional under the moon’s influence- to him, Y/N getting thrown and tosses all around is just “playfighting”, so he won’t interfere until after things get genuinely harmful. The moment he hears his little “cub” scream and start to cry, Old Sun is there in a second, bringing them into his arms and cooing softly. If they come to him begging for protection and use a “Bàba” to sweeten the deal, they’ll have his shelter for a number of hours, so it’s not impossible to get away from MK… just very hard.
And even after learning that something as severe as a broken wrist has occurred, Wukong coddles MK and forgives him on your behalf, writing the whole thing off as an accident. Not that you get any less smothering then him- you’re now stuck in bed with stuff bandages and surrounded by young mountain monkeys and sweet fruit. In a way, it saves you from any further rough play.
All three of them are dangerous in their own ways, of course. None are outright above “disciplining” you, with slaps or bites or shoves. There’s no bone-shattering or flesh-tearing, but they make you afraid that there will be.
———————————————————————
After the Primal Moon ends, there’s a lot of patching-up to do afterwards. For example…
Pigsy has to come down from the constant self-drugging, taking more than a few hours to compose himself and make the rounds with his friends, calling them all up in short order. Once he’s gotten through everyone- Tang, Sandy, Mei, even her parents… then he spends a few minutes making sure he hasn’t gored any holes into his restaurant. Unlocks the windows and doors, but doesn’t flip the open sign.
He’s not up to deal with customers right now. All he wants is to check on his kids.
He’ll take MK and you out to eat today, he thinks. You’ve both earned it, after a week of isolation up in your shared room, under strict instructions to stay inside and come down for no one and nothing.
Red Son is always horribly humiliated when everything is said and done, a groaning and red-faced mess of shame. Another week of essentially devolving into a child, desperate for love and attention. Another, slow, grudging week of constant begging for skinship and words of praise. Needless to say, he’s pissed off and looking for an outlet, and beating on the numerous Bull Clones just doesn’t seem all too enticing… when he’s got a much squishier target who’ll actually squirm and yelp?
Sure, he’s not going to outright mangle you. No permanent burns. No shattered spine. And he’ll take pity on you eventually and stop with the torment. After a few months, he might even start to like you.
Let’s hope you get there mostly unscathed.
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lynzishell · 11 hours
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It's 10+ years in your sims future. Where are they at that time compared to where they are right now in your story?
Ok... so, I may have had a little too much fun with this one, and now I can't wait for li'l Aspen to be a child!!! 🥹🧡
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Hi! My name is Aspen, but most people call me Annie, and I’m ten-and-a-half years old.
My mom is a Director at the Dreamer Foundation (whatever that means). And my dad is the Mayor of San Myshuno. They both work a lot. A LOT. I spend most days after school at home alone. Well, not alone alone. My dog, Pepper, is here with me. We play and go for walks. She’s really smart too. My uncle Asher is teaching me how to train her. She already knows how to sit and lay down. Next, I’m going to teach her how to roll over. Asher has a dog too. Her name is Pixel and she’s so cute! Pixel and Pepper are best friends! My best friend is Mei. She’s been my best friend since before I knew the word “best friend”. At least, that’s what my mom says.
Sometimes on the weekends Atlas, Asher, Pixel, Pepper, and me will all go to the Bay to visit Grandma Megan and Grandpa Alex. I love their house! It’s right by the ocean and has the biggest backyard I’ve ever seen! My cousin Spencer lives there too with her mom and stepdad. She’s a teenager, and she’s really cool. She has lots of friends and a boyfriend (but that’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone I told you), and she’s a songwriter. Her and Grandpa Alex are trying to teach me how to play the guitar, but it’s really hard and I’m not very good at it. Sometimes I need a break, so I’ll help Grandma Megan with her plants. She’s teaching me all about plants and flowers and herbs. One day I’m going to have a great big garden!
We always make it back home on Sunday because that’s when me and dad make dinner for everyone. It’s my favorite time of every week! My favorite thing to make is stuffed peppers. We buy them in every color. My favorite is the orange ones. Uncle Atlas likes the green ones. Ew!
Tonight, we were supposed to make risotto, but dad hasn’t come home yet. Mom says he’s stuck at work, but he never works late on Sundays. It’s our night. Atlas said he’d help me make the risotto, but I didn’t want to cook with him. I wanted to cook with my dad. I got really mad and ran to my room and locked the door. I’m not letting anyone in until he gets home. But it’s almost ten o’clock. I'm supposed to be asleep and my tummy is grumbling.
I hope he gets home soon…
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etherealising · 2 days
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One more request/ask this time for aiekoy 🍑/🐻/🧡 could you write something on if baby and carm would get together if Mikey were still alive? Or just if they would cross paths and still never say anything? If you’re up to it if not no biggie- again congrats on 1k!🥳
ohhh i love this so much, giggling because i get to play with aiekoy cannon and i am living for it. gonna be honest i don’t even remember writing most of this but it is chaotic and i actually kinda love it.
this was going in so many different directions before this became my final thoughts, thank you for requesting and please enjoy!! 🫶🏽
warning(s): addiction | violence |
mikey lives, does barby?
in this scenario the only ‘aiekoy’ chapters that would still be canon are ch. 1-3, interlude 0-1 and any pre-aiekoy lore that i may not have published yet 🫣.
and for the sake of consistency, we’re throwing all ‘the bear’ canon out the window!
but now is where we start to change things, so we’ll say baby moves back to Chicago beginning of 2019 Christmas showed you just how much you missed being around your surrogate family and so we kiss the west coast goodbye.
and with baby back in town the trio (baby/nat/richie) with all the time they spend around mikey begin to realize like he needs serious help. his deterioration is so clear to anyone who looks at him that if things don’t change soon we all know what’s gonna happen.
it's a bit of back and forth cause mikey is stubborn as hell and he definitely doesn’t take kindly to his addiction being called out. man is feeling cornered right now.
i don’t think mikey would just agree to rehab out of nowhere, growing up as the man of the house i think he definitely has some underlying issues with toxic masculinity.
something big would have to happen for him to see the error of his ways like baby finding him just strung out in his office at the beef pills scattered everywhere and of course, it hurts you to see him this way.
so you begin like trying to dispose of the pills, searching his office for anything more and lecturing him because you love him ya know. obviously reasoning with an addict hardly if ever works.
sadly to say i think it would get a bit physically violent like mikey kind of just lashes out just like grips baby by the arms, and pins you to the wall so hard it alerts the staff.
and it's an ugly scene as richie pulls him off of you. you’re just standing there glued to the wall scared shitless as richie holds himself back from beating the shit out of mikey.
nat gets wind of the whole situation i feel like tina would definitely call her because wtf is going on with mikey?
a few weeks later baby’s distant with mikey, richie is genuinely physically disgusted anytime he’s around his best friend, and nat bless her heart is just trying to keep the family together. she explains what happened to mikey between the two of you because his memory is spotty and the man just breaks down like heaving sobs as he asks nat to help him get better.
they decide a long-term stint in rehab might work best, considering how long he’s been using and the toll his psychological state has taken we’ll say a 6 month program that as it progresses the whole gang will be involved in family counseling sessions.
baby and richie obviously go with nat to drop mikey off setting aside their issues with him (you obviously haven’t forgiven his transgression yet but you want to be there for him) and the whole thing is so emotional i’m talking group hug full of sobs and snot this shit is heartbreaking. but mikey’s adamant that he wants the help.
baby definitely thinks someone should tell carmy but both richie and nat are iffy about it and they table that conversation for the time being.
fast forward a few months mikey is in rehab detoxing and participating in counseling sessions, they aren’t allowed to contact him yet but they do get weekly updates on his well-being.
baby is in new york for work profiling executive chef alex johannes (he didn’t have a name in the show so now he does) about his work ethic and michelin stars or some shit.
he invites you to the restaurant hours before the dinner service so you can observe him and the kitchen during prep and this man is laying the charm on thick!
he’s definitely scummy and you’re genuinely fed up with him so you tell him you need to walk around to get a feel for the kitchen but you just want to be rid of him.
you’re doing your cute journalist thing taking notes, trying to talk to chefs about what the kitchen environment is like working under alex but these people are giving you nothing!
there’s a commotion at one of the prep stations and you’re obviously curious the whole kitchen is trying to pretend they aren’t watching this shit go down.
and you’re just listening to this poor chef get verbally abused as they’re working on their prep, jotting all this down in your little notepad.
but the sight of the chef slamming a cutting board against the counter has you flinching and you just can’t let that happen irritation radiating through you at this bully you’ve been assigned to profile.
you’ve seen enough stepping up to defend the poor chef with a few choice words to the older man ultimately getting in a verbal argument with him and being sent out of his kitchen, but not before he makes the poor chef join you, and whatever bravado you had to rip that asshole a new one is gone as carmen fucking berzatto begins walking in your direction shoving past you to get to the staff lounge.
what are the fucking odds that you end up at the same exact restaurant carmy works at after being ghosted by him again that one christmas. (I’d say they’re great since I’m writing this)
you’re standing there in shock for a minute before turning on your heel to find the man.
he’s pacing back and forth hand pressing into the space where his heart lay. as soon as he sees you he’s hurling questions your way; “what the fuck are you doing here?” “why the fuck couldn’t you just mind your business?” “he didn’t need your fucking help.” blah blah blah.
your anger from earlier is back and you’re just like alright bet “guess it’s still fuck me right carm?” grabbing your bag and getting the fuck outta dodge.
you don’t make it far before carmy finds you, the man doesn’t apologize but he asks you to stop by when he gets off.
you’re a loser for carm so you do. he’s takes you back to his place, it’s awkward as fuck but you finally give in and tell him about what’s going on in Chicago, mikey’s addiction, the “fight” you had with mikey at the beef, him being in rehab.
and carmy is surprised as fuck, to say the least, he tells you that he’s miserable in new york. feels like the restaurant might kill him before his anxiety ever could.
neither of you are sure how any of it happens but the next thing you know you’re naked under him giving into pent-up desires, promises whispered into each other’s skin.
you can’t stay in new york forever but the both of you decide it is for the best not to start anything with all the distance between you.
you try talking carmy into moving back to Chicago and homeboy actually gives it some thought.
after that the two of you are in constant contact like not a day goes by without a phone call or text.
you’re back in chicago mikey’s been doing good in rehab, the family counseling sessions are going well. next thing you know his 6 months are up and he’s out.
you talk carmy into visiting for a bit, he and mikey def have things to work out.
surprise surprise, COVID hits carmy gets stuck in Chicago (man is not complaining though if that means he gets to see you)
you get a roommate who doubles as a lover and everything goes from there!!!
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a/n: reading this is so chaotic it actually made me giggle. on a serious note in no way am i saying all addicts are violent or have violent tendencies but from my experiences that has been the case. also i think canonically (7 fishes ep) that mikey did have violent tendencies whether it be the drugs or not.
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shadowskulls-blog · 2 days
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Could you do a Sera x fem!reader that constantly gets extremely flustered over how much bigger Sera is then her? It can be nsfw or sfw it's your choice. Have a good day!
Got you. Personally, when I was watching Sera for the first time and got to "welcome to heaven" I made my best friend pause right at the moment it showed the characters standing side by side and noticing how tall Sera was. My friend had to calm me down because I was simping so hard. She's like 12 feet tall and I love tall ladies.
Sera x small Fem!Reader
*light nsfw*
You moaned into the kiss as your hands fell deep into Sera's large curls. Feeling her soft hair, softest hair an angel can have. Your wings wrapped around Sera's upper body gently as your arms tightened around her neck more. Causing Sera to smile into the kiss. Soon, her hands moved up, going to your back with her fingers gently sliding down your spine.
You felt a shiver go through your spine and wings as you let go of the kiss, a gasp being let out as your wings ruffled up a bit. Sera smiled as she knew your back was sensitive. Sera hands wrapped around your smaller torso and set you down onto the pillows.
Her wings opened a bit more, making herself look bigger. Her halo glowed a bright cyan as she put her hands on the pillows, resting at both sides of your head. smiling down sweetly at you. The way she looked down at you always made you flustered. Along with how tall she was compared to you
You looked up at Sera with your face going bright red as your wings started to cover your face, your hands going up to also cover your face as well.
"Are you okay, dear?" Sera asked as her hands slightly pulled your wings apart, her gentle hands creasing your feathers as she chuckled a bit. She loved seeing how flustered you would always get.
You let your wings relax as you moved one of your hands away from your face. Smiling up at her as your face continued to be bright red.
"Sorry, I just..." You were saying as you moved your hands down slightly as you felt Sera's large hands gently grab at your small wrists. You looked up with your face, getting somehow getting hotter and redder.
"There's no need to say sorry. You know that." Sera said with a gentle smile as her right hand cupped your cheek softly. Her fingers moved some of your hair out of your face, along with picking out a feather that got lost from your wings
You smiled as you chuckled a bit. Your hands are going to grab at her hand with your fingers, feeling her smooth skin.
"Yeah. I just...I don't know. I always get so damn flustered by our size difference." You say, with you laughing a bit. To you, it sounds weird saying it. You don't know why, but it's just something about her height
Sera's eyes opened a bit more with her smile fading for a moment, but then quickly came back as her wings relaxed. She then grabbed your waist with her pulling you close to her body. Your eyes widened as your wings ruffled up as you then felt Sera lay back on the bed.
You on top of her as your face went hot again. You covered your face again. Sera smiled as you heard her sweet laugh with her hand petting your wings slightly. Trying to calm them down before they lost any more feathers.
"You're going to make my face burn off..." You muffled into your hands as you tried your best not to open your eyes or touch her chest. Kinda right on top of them... literally.
"We're alone, dear. We can be as loving as we want. So, let's just enjoy the moment before Adam does something again..." Sera said, ending off with a groan. It always seemed like Adam and his stupid actions made you two not spend much time together...
You opened your eyes again as you looked up at Sera. Your eye's relaxing as you then let your body relax. You then let your head rest on Sera's chest along with your legs relaxing. Acting like a small blanket as they wrapped around Sera's sides by a bit.
Sera smiled as she let her two bottom wings wrap around you. Her hands slowly went to your wings to your head as she looked down at you.
"Yeah, don't know what he'll do next. So yeah. I'll stop being a flustered mess" you said with you laughing a bit. Sera laughed a bit as well as she titled her head to the side
"You're a cute, flustered mess, though." Sera said with a smile. You snickered a bit as you pushed yourself up a bit with you looking at Sera with a cocky smile.
"I'm your cute, flustered mess," you said with you crawling up a bit. Stopping right at her collarbone as you looked into her eyes lovingly.
"I think that's gone now" Sera said as she looked away with a smile as you laughed a bit. You then wrapped your arms around her neck as you gave her a kiss on the cheek. With you then laying back down again as Sera's eyes looked down at you.
She raised an eyebrow at you as you just had to do a sneak attack kiss at her. But she just sighed and let her hands and wings hug you both as you both laid down. Relaxing until Sera was called back to work
**
Man, I just realized I simp for the mom type characters. I think I have mommy issues
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golden-afternoon · 10 hours
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wahhh happy birthday Xiao!!! I wanted to finish writing this which I had sitting in my wips for a while now for his birthday but got really sad when I realized I wouldn't be able to get it done in time. Therefore the ending is suuuuper rushed and the whole thing is a little jank but I wanted to post it still even if it's not perfect. May revisit this later to fix it up a little!
Warnings - gn! reader, Xiao dealing with Xiao thoughts in his not exactly healthy ways, blowjobs n face fucking my favorites 😋, wet dreams, aaand I think that covers it?
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Bitter.
Bitter was the taste usually lingering in his mouth. Bitter words waiting behind his lips, bitter bile at the back of his throat at best forgotten memories, bitter disdain as he swallows back his useless desires. The unpleasant flavor remains on his tongue most of the time, having come to accept it was simply another burden of his to bear.
How rare then was such a taste of sweetness?
Xiao swallowed thickly, almost on instinct to get rid of the unfamiliar sweet flavor that had begun to spread across his tongue, flooding his senses. His mouth felt incredibly dry and the action had done little to nothing to sate the urge to remove the offending taste.
So, so sweet.
It was so unbearably sweet, he wasn’t sure he could stand it.
So sweet was the sight before him, he could hardly wrap his head around it. The sight of you. You, there before him gazing up with those sweet, precious eyes of yours. You, so sweetly kneeling before him as though it were the most natural position in the world to be in. You, whose fingers delicately had been tracing along the hem of his pants, gently tugging at the silks that lie around his hips to set the fabric loose.
“What are you doing?”
The words left him, coming out in a low, biting tone, bitterness falling from his tongue with practiced ease. Yet, he made no effort to move away. He, the Vigilant Yaksha, the Conqueror of Demons, the great Alatus, was frozen in place like an animal caught by surprise in a field. His brows furrowed together he stared down at you, both trying to piece together the meaning of your behavior and why he had not moved yet. His heart was beating hard enough in his chest that he could hear the blood rushing around his ears in time with each beat.
Yet even with the sharpness of his words, you remained unfazed, simply smiling up at him with such tenderness, unaware that such a gaze made that sweet flavor flood across his tongue again, much to his growing unease. “You may try to lie to yourself Xiao, but it's clear as day to me that you need to spend some time relaxing.”
Even your voice was sweeter than anything he'd ever tasted. It made his stomach churn. No, not churn. That's not the right word. It was a lighter sensation than that. Almost… pleasant, even as it made him almost feel sick. A feeling slowly becoming more and more familiar to him the more time he had spent around you.
The adeptus was ripped from his hazy reverie as the gentle clink of metal hit the floor, followed almost immediately by those nimble fingers brushing against his hips as they gently began to pull down the last bit of fabric separating his shame from your eyes. His hands twitched with the impulse to shove you away, bitter guilt bordering on panic rising in his throat, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He swallowed again, his mouth just as dry as before as his golden eyes sharply watched every movement you made.
“What are you doing to me?” He asked, his normally cool and indifferent tone sinking into a slightly uneven rasp, shamefully hinting at how much you were affecting him.
Xiao felt heat wash over his face as a sweet laugh left your lips, leaving his question unanswered in favor of lowering the dark fabric further and further until his aching cock sprung free of its confines. A gloved hand instinctively lifted to his mouth to suppress the noise that came from him at the feeling, and even worse, the sight of your eyes being locked onto his already achingly hard shaft with such keen interest and fascination. If he hadn’t known any better, he would’ve been certain you were trying to kill him, what with how his heart was beating so hard it felt like it could burst at any moment. He ripped his eyes away from the painfully sweet sight, that strange flavor spreading across his tongue once more as saliva pooled in his mouth.
This was wrong. This shouldn’t be happening. He shouldn’t be allowing this in the first place! If he allowed you to do this, then all it would serve to do was hurt you in the end, he had no right to be so selfish-
A hitching gasp was ripped from his chest as he felt the softest sensation brush against the head of his cock. Sharp eyes immediately came right back to look down at you, his pupils dilating as he sees you with your lips still pressed to the tender, flushed skin in such a gentle little kiss. His dick twitched from the sweet sight, the motion making his sensitive skin lift away from those soft lips, giving him a brief moment of reprieve before it rested back into place, tapping against your mouth and effectively smearing a bit of the liquid leaking from him on those pretty lips, giving him such a shamefully lewd view that it drew a groan from him, unable to be muffled by his gloved hand.
Seeming to be encouraged by his reaction, he watched as your lips parted, that pretty pink tongue sliding out to lick up the mess he had left behind. A growled curse left him as he felt the sinful desires he’d been fending off came crashing in on him, nearly making his knees buckle under the weight of it. A soft hum of pleasure left your lips, seemingly enjoying his no doubt bitter taste. Surely that was just for show, he immediately assumed, slowly lowering his hand from his blushing face, only to instantaneously be proven wrong by your hands sliding onto his thighs for support as you leaned closer, drawing your warm tongue along his part of his length, lingering at the top to collect the rest of the clear fluid that had leaked out.
His restraint was wearing thin as the hand that had just been on his face now found itself settled on the back of your head, his gloved fingers curling loosely into your hair. Xiao remained silent for a moment, his face caught in a strained expression as he looked down at you, his golden eyes studying you with an intensity that he has found himself unable to hide any longer.
Your name left his lips quietly, the rasp of his voice barely audible above the steady rain coming down outside the open window. He began to card his fingers through your hair before managing his next words. “Do you really want to do this? If you keep going as you are, I may not be able to stop myself.” He warned in that same tone, wishing he had been able to speak louder, but he knew that if he had, it would have only made his voice waver.
Those sweet eyes stayed locked onto his as you processed the question, answering him with a smile and a playful little kiss to his head once more. “Then don’t stop yourself.”
Before he could have much time to comprehend those words, Xiao found himself curling his fingers into your hair with a grunt, nearly becoming winded from the feeling of his cock slowly be enveloped into the warm, wet heat of your mouth. Its not the first time in his long existence that he has experienced such intimate pleasures, but certainly it had been a very, very long time since he had even considered indulging himself in things like this. He’d spent so much of his time convincing himself he held no such desires, but here you were breaking down every wall he’d built with such ease.
Another growling curse left him as he felt his tip hit the back of your mouth, having brought a muffled little gagging noise to his ears. He shivered as the reflex simply made your throat tighten for a moment around the portion of him that had pressed towards your throat. That was enough to make him crack.
He adjusted his hold on your hair, curling his fingers in to maintain a firm, almost painful grip before he began to move, teeth sinking into his lip as he began to shift his hips. Vibrations from the sweet little yelp of surprise ran through his cock, only fueling him further in his aching need. Holding your head in place he couldn’t stop himself from dragging himself in and out along your tongue. Archons, you felt perfect. You let your jaw slack slightly to keep yourself from scraping your teeth along his shaft, encouraging him even more. His other hand, trembling slightly from it all, lifted to your flushed face, gently brushing aside and tucking away some loose hair that had fallen across your forehead, his pace never slowing down as those fingers join his other hand in holding you in place so he can keep you steady.
It was no longer a question of desire for him. He needed you. He needed you now more than ever and he had reached a point where he simply couldn’t hold back any longer. He began to push deeper, nudging his dripping head against the back of your mouth again, trying to gain purchase into your throat, but you couldn’t help but gag on his size. He frowned slightly, his eyes locked onto your dazed expression, lips sealed around as much of him as you thought you could take. A quiet grunt, followed by his lowered voice offering soothing words in the best way he could think to. “You can take it. Come on.”
Not the most reassuring thing to say, especially when this was immediately followed by his hands manually adjusting the angle of your head and simply shoving his shaft against your throat again, causing tears to well in those pretty eyes of yours as you gag on it again. Bitter guilt climbs the back of his own throat at the sight, but then he realized that you weren’t backing away at all. If anything, it seemed like you were trying to reach the same goal. Hands on his thighs to steady yourself, lips staying perfectly wrapped around his size, and even more, you kept trying to press closer, clearly seeing what he wanted and trying desperately to help him get there.
He breathed out another curse, the word faltering slightly as it rasped out, his hands grasping harder onto your head as he picked up his pace, thrusting harder and harder, fucking into your face until with one slick motion, he pushed past at last, your muscles loosening enough to allow himself to bury himself deep within your throat. Your nose pressed against his skin as he held you there for a moment, savoring the sweet feeling of you taking him in his entirety.
He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, the sound coming out like a hiss through bared teeth. This… this isn't right. So tight and slick around him, this amount of pleasure shouldn't be granted to someone like him. For a moment, even in his daze of pleasure, Xiao seriously considered pulling out, having become overwhelmed by it all, but then, he saw your eyes. Those pretty eyes that have haunted him far more than he cared to admit were now looking up at him in a way that made his heart nearly stop. Such a soft, overwhelmingly sweet gaze up at him through those long lashes of yours contrasted to the sinful sight of your nose bumping against his body, lips stretched around his aching length. All other thoughts immediately left his mind as he stared down at you with lips parted in awe. He may not deserve even a scrap of this amount of pleasure, but who was he to deny you whose eyes looked so positively needy. Gritting his teeth, he curled his fingers more into your hair, drawing a whine of slight pain from you, the sound almost entirely disappearing into his cock as he began to move again, fully intending to be slow and sweet, but perhaps rough desperation was just better suited to his natural bitter nature.
Gloved hands holding you in place he picked up speed, the slick sounds of your mouth and throat being used mingled with the sound of the rain, all of it rushing around to his ears and making his mind melt even more. Archons, he's not even sure how much longer he can last like this. He can see on your face that you're struggling to keep holding your breath but you keep letting him going, not pushing away in the slightest. The feeling of your thumbs lightly digging into his skin as you clung to him for support was nearly enough to send him over the edge.
He nearly growled out his words, wanting to at least warn you, “I think…. ah…. I think I'm at my limit…”
Xiao watched as those long lashes fluttered shut at his words, that sweet gaze disappearing in favor of close eyed focus and fervor, seeming to struggle to do your best to keep going, to hold on as long as you can to bring him over the edge. It drove him insane.
“Xiao!”
He was so lost in the sweet sensation, so close to the edge, he almost didn't hear the voice over the sound of the rain and the slick noises from below and-
“Adeptus Xiao!”
Xiao bolted upright in an instant, panting from the adrenaline as he struggled to gain his bearings, the sound of his blood rushing around his ears mingling with the gentle rain outside making his head spin.
He was… alone. And now rather uncomfortable in the sticky aftermath. Bitter guilt spread across his tongue and gripped at his heart, shaking hands reaching up to grab fistfuls of his own hair in frustration. How could he even think about you like that? Sure he was unconscious but he had absolutely no right to defile your sweet visage with something so selfish and wrong. He had no need for such desires. None whatsoever.
But he could hardly even convince himself of that when he realized it was your voice calling his name from the other side of his door, making him wonder with an ache deep in his chest if this was that bittersweet dream manifesting itself before him.
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Ok so…ima need you to explain jackieshauna to me. Because I’ve stanned so many f/f ships, but I just don’t….see it. I see people refer to them as homoerotic yet….they barely even show physical affection. Hell, they barely show affection towards the other. So what are y’all seeing that I’m not?
I mean yeah I can explain what I see for sure! But also; ships are just ships, and they’re just for fun. You can not see it if you don’t want to, and that’s totally your prerogative! Honestly, I’m cool with people seeing it or people not seeing it or whatever. It’s all pretty chill to me.
But, to me, there’s definitely something there. Gosh, it’s almost hard for me to put it into words. It helps that the showrunners have stated that they loved each other, with Bart explicitly saying in an interview that they were in love.
However, i guess I should get into why I like it. For one, they’re childhood best friends, but there’s also something so much history between the two that we don’t even get to see in the show. But what we do see in the show is two people who know each other so, so well but not at all, not really. They got used to the idea of knowing each other and appear to have forgotten taking the time to actually do that.
The way that Jackie and Shauna look at each other is another reason I like them. From the pilot episode, to me, it looks like there’s something in their eyes when they see each other. The way they look at each other in line at the pep rally, the way Shauna stares at Jackie and Jeff. Now, an argument can be made that Shauna’s jealous because of Jeff, but there’s not enough evidence to back that in the show. The main (and likely only) reason that Shauna sleeps with Jeff is because he’s Jackie’s. Because she wants what Jackie has, because she wants to be Jackie. In my opinion, she does it because she’s chasing the taste of something she thinks she can never have. Then, of course, you have Jackie looking back at Shauna, Shauna looking back at Jackie, the hug, the “love you,” the fact that it isn’t returned.
And all of that’s just the pilot.
There’s so much love and jealousy between these two characters. And there’s a lot of physical touch and intimacy if you know where to look for it. Sharing the necklace, the numerous times that they hug, the lingering shots of hands gripping shirts, arms squeezing tight. I love the jealousy aspects, how Jackie reacts to Shauna spending more time with Tai, the way Shauna looks at Jackie when she chooses to hang out with Mari at the lake. Jackie is trying to make Shauna jealous; it’s working.
Jackie never moves on from Shauna’s betrayal; it’s a contributing factor in her death. And, like. She would have forgiven Shauna if she’d just apologized; the dream in the season one finale kind of confirms that. She’s more upset about the way that Shauna thinks about her than the cheating. And it seems less upsetting to her that Jeff cheated on her with Shauna than the fact that Shauna cheated on her with Jeff. It’s the secrets. “You lost your virginity without me.”
Shauna never moved on from Jackie. Period. Full stop. The trajectory of her entire life changes. She fits herself uncomfortably into the life that she thinks Jackie would have occupied, despite the fact that Jackie never planned on being with Jeff full time, always planned to go to college, likely hoped to make something of herself. Shauna fits herself into the mold that she thinks Jackie would have settled for in her worst timeline because Shauna thinks she deserves it. She sees Jackie’s ghost, both in ‘96 and ‘21, though some of the hauntings are almost a perversion of who we actually see Jackie to be in the show. She talks to her corpse, keeps it for two entire months between season one and season two before the rest of the girls do something about it.
“I can’t tell where you end and I begin.” “She wants us to.” “It’s what she would have wanted, if not for us, then for you.” They cared about each other. They really did love each other. And they were kind of obsessed with each other, so much so that it sort of ruined both of their lives.
So I don’t know. I mean, it’s just the way I feel about them, what I see when I watch the show. I think there’s plenty of evidence that they’re affectionate towards each other. They do more than just revolve around each other; they’re like organs in the same organ system, connected and needing each other to survive. And they feed off of each other. Oh, teenage girls cannibalize each other metaphorically all the time, and Jackie and Shauna were doing it for years before they ever ate Jackie’s body. This is all just my own personal opinions and my own reading of the show. But I think there’s more than enough evidence there.
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baishouqijia · 1 year
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i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3
#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me.#for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh.#having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y#as for home... Man (horse.jpg)#we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor#after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time.#i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes#wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done#so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal.#but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard.#anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out.#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too#like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares#but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna#lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All.#' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR#sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox#anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn.#can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense.#aight byeee
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artemisbarnowl · 6 months
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Having a totally normal one* after waking from a dream where I just relive life with my ex. It was so normal and fine and we did things such as lay around in bed and make plans for the day, go to the Korean supermarket on the corner, go to a friend's house together.
#*if it were in the evening i would be drinking enough to finally drink dial and just fucking ASK all the questions i am making up answers to#what did you want? what do you want now?? honestly could you find it in your heart to hate me and never wanna see me again?#because me saying 'i don't think we should talk for a while' and you saying 'id really like to be friends' are obviously Not It#omg im going to spend my birthday alone for the first time....nearly ever and im just going to go to work and be miserable#i havent been able to stop chewing on the idea of me visiting when i head down to see the fam for christmases#i want him to want me back sooooo bad!!!!#i still think about that dream where i made him pasta#would i take him back? depends on what he said#as much as im pathetic im not an idiot and id need clear evidence to show that he 1. knows what he wants (involving me) and#2. is going to ask for it#because i don't think i ever heard him say a single thing about what he wanted for our future#never said 'hey i want to see you when are you free for me to come up?'#is probably fucking dating now anyway and doesnt WANT me to remember him on new years (our best guess anniversary)#or ask to call because i want to ask questions that will be hard to answer#when all ive ever wanted is the TRUTH#not the strategic answer just the gods honest truth#and i suspect that is 'i dont want to date you i havent for a while i didnt know how to stop or what i wanted instead'#and then i could go home break every object in ny house and move on#try a dating app ot something else to attempt to look forward instead of back#so as you can see -totally normal one
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brosif40 · 7 months
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mars-ipan · 1 year
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so fucking annoying having a “common” disorder sometimes i’m sick of being fucking dismissed
#marzivents#<- preemptive bc i’m bitter abt it#i made a joke abt trying to get every accomodation for my anxiety that i can#and my own mother. who HAS THE SAME FUCKING ILLNESS. compared me to fucking eric cartman????#for making a silly about my mental illness? and saying ‘i have anxiety so u need to be nice to me’ for a LAUGH????#like 1- i’m not fucking lying when i say i need extra help for my anxiety shit#and 2- do not compare me to a fucking south park character because he faked an anxiety disorder for a couple of episodes#like fuck you. what the fuck is wrong with you#‘half the world has anxiety marley’ 1- not true like statistically 2- while anxiety is relatively common that doesn’t mean i don’t need#extra help because of it???? hello????? what the shit#and EVERY time i try to say something about how it makes me feel she pulls the experience card and patronizes me!!!#i get it i’m 18 i don’t know everything. but i fucking know myself!!!#sometimes i just feel like my family thinks i’m looking for excuses to feel bad. which is so FRUSTRATING#because EVERY DAY of my life i am trying to improve and make my mindset healthier and work hard to be the best happiest me i can be#it’s just that sometimes doing my best is feeding myself and brushing my teeth#it bugs me so much coming from her because i know she has it too#like. i know you had to spend the first 30 years of your life denying your mental health to get out of hell#but i don’t. your whole goal in life was to make sure that your kids didn’t have to do that to succeed#so when i tell you i’m struggling or dare to crack a fucking joke about it once in awhile#why is it that suddenly i’m the bad guy or trying to make myself a victim#can i just need fucking help??? in peace??? does it have to be a whole fucking thing#like sorry do i not deserve it? am i not sick enough? god#and this is all IGNORING the fact that it is highly likely i have something else too#i’ve had depressive episodes since middle school. i have many adhd symptoms#fuck man! maybe ur kid who’s been an expert at masking since fucking elementary school is going through a bit more than they look to be!#almost like it’s a subconscious impulse for them to look better than they feel!#and i’m not even doing that bad right now!#i’m super burnt out but i’m coping really well! i’m getting shit done i’m working hard i’m still taking care of myself!!#i’ve managed to still laugh and love and feel joy despite despite despite#and all i want is some goddamn recognition once in a while. i am so SICK of being overlooked. fuck
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peapod20001 · 7 months
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I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3
#random post#I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things#there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words#and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe#pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me#from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment#it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it#belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or#overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable#writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well#which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than#letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know#that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way#a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow?#and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with#people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel#comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and#world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with#my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they#like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of#the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students#who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I#come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their#level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m#not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t#mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that#I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have#a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the#faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making
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