#i try my best to let them be becauss of this..

[sophie-frm-mars]

I'm supposed to write for a living and for the last two weeks all the thoughts in my head have been about my shitty abusive ex, so what can I write? Maybe if I wrote down some of the things I'm thinking I could go back to thinking about Alex Jones or Elizabeth Holmes or any of the other terrible people I enjoy thinking and talking about. Maybe if I wrote it down I'd stop twitching when I'm falling asleep or trying to rest or sitting at my desk or waiting in a queue because I suddenly zapped back into the things that she did and the ways that she treated me.

I keep writing a letter to her in my head that I've affectionately titled 'Notorious Abuser'. I'm not gonna actually write it anywhere

But the thing that I think I'm trying to capture in that idea is how tiny and pathetic it makes me feel that people tried to tell me how bad she was before and I still fell for all her lies, I still let my guard down, I still let myself get hurt because I didn't think I was worth anything.

I tried to help her get better and she assaulted me, gaslit me and told me she would hurt herself if I didn't act like she wanted.

I keep wanting to break into saying the pointedly cruel things I say in this letter in my head, but all of them sound petty and small or ugly and not who I want to be. I'm not writing the letter, I'm writing down my thoughts so I can stop hyperventilating and crying once a day. I wrote what she did to me in another post on mastodon, and that helped a little. It feels good spreading the thoughts out a little, so there isn't just one intense trauma blog. I'm writing down my thoughts so I can sleep before 5am tonight

The thought that keeps ringing around in my head is like "what the fuck could someone have said to me that would have helped me understand sooner". I have to check the premise this comes from. A lot of people have been quite unpleasant about the fact they tried to tell me about her at the start, treated me like I've let them down somehow by being manipulated and abused. I've thought really hard about this for a long time, and there are three parties in the question of people around her being informed about the things she's done: me, her, and everyone else. I've really spent a LONG time thinking about this and it's not everyone else's responsibility, and it's not my responsibility, it's actually only one person's responsibility, and she fucking lies all the time. Trying to apportion blame anywhere else is just treating her like a morally absent person who can't be responsible for her actions, and she simply has to be responsible.

Should we try to warn people when we think someone could get harmed? Yes, I think so. I haven't experienced a lot of that. I didn't get warnings, and I'm not blaming anyone for that, because she told me that she was telling me about the full scale of what she'd done, and of course she wasn't becauss she just fucking lies all the time. So she told me that and I told people i already knew what she'd done and they didn't know what I didn't know.

I'm obsessing because it's late and I can't sleep and concerned anonymous messages get under my skin more than they should

She agreed to not date anyone new until she'd been through a process and then she messaged me on lex the week after

I want to get back to my question, because its something I've already thought about for a long time. I have a close friend who suffered intimate partner abuse for years. My best and oldest friend, actually, and we didn't speak for years because their life was being made so miserable by their abuser they couldn't reach out, and after I found out I hated myself for not knowing and i hated myself for not doing something and I hated myself for not knowing the magic thing I could have said that could have helped. They deserved for me to show up on a beautiful motorbike with a spare helmet and a warm hug and drive away into the sunset with them, and I hated myself every day for weeks and months and years for not having been able to somehow do that, and they've told me a dozen times now not to be sorry, but it still hurts, because someone hurt someone I love and that feels like something wrong with the universe.

Anyway, the magic words.

"the way she is treating you is wrong, and I'm not telling you to break up with her, and to be clear, the reason I am not telling you that is because I'm afraid that'll make you push me away and then you'll have fewer people around to help, but nonetheless that is not what I'm telling you. I'm just telling you that you are being harmed and that it is wrong when you are harmed and you deserve better"

It's a mouthful but I think that might have done it.

It took me 2 months to tell my long term partner that my abuser had assaulted me. It took me another 2 months to break up with my abuser, and another month after that to tell my partner the parts that made her say she wanted to "scratch her fucking eyes out". If any of these thoughts are helping you right now, don't think that not reacting strongly and quickly means you weren't actually harmed.

I want to think about the terrible people I enjoy thinking about and not the terrible person that thinking about makes me wake up panicking. Here's hoping writing this helps empty Notorious Abuser out of my head and makes more room for my precious terrible boy Alex Jones

She told me to change a line about him in something I wrote. I said Alex Jones may never deserve sympathy again, and she wanted me to change it because she didn't want me using my platform to say that anyone is ever irredeemable. I don't think that. But I said "may" for a reason. Alex Jones is someone who's done horrible things and shows no sign of doing anything even remotely like changing, or taking responsibility for the harm he's caused, or doing anything to put any of it right. Someone like that could perhaps do things to become deserving of sympathy, but the actual reality is that Jones has done nothing to change or put things right, and lies about the things he's done, the reasons they're bad, the things being done to make him take responsibility and the character of the people making that effort. Alex Jones may never deserve sympathy again

[virgilisspidey]

I keep repeating this song over and over because the start is just so soft and beautiful and I can't help but imagine scenarios for it.

Now i have this scenario in my head on repeat.

We love misplacing the turtles across the universe and put them with Rise (Aoi, Ghost, Ryo and Ryu, and many more) but what if we misplace a Splinter?

I know 2012 Splinter knew he was going to die in Requiem. He knew it was coming and gave Leo a little warning, trying his best not to alarm him, but let him know there's a possibilty. He's not as strong as he used to, he's getting old and he knows it. With Shredder still out there, who knows where, his chances of being able to push through it gets slimmer and slimmer because he knows what revenge does to a man. He wants Leo to be ready.

Even if it hurts him, even if it hurts his children, he knows he isn't meant to live long, but he will still impart as much wisdom and knowledge to them as possible.

Then the day comes, a stab to the gut, he died before hitting the ground.

But he woke up again.

He gets a new chance in life.

Born again in the Hamato clan in another universe, he's born as Hamato Yoshiharu (a name meaning joy and serene) an older brother by one year to one Hamato Yoshihiro (a name meaning good and great) who later in life becomse the famous action movie star Lou Jitsu.

(will be refering to 12 splinter as haru and rise splinter as hiro here on out)

Day in and day out he mourns for his children, his former family. The Hamatos were surprised when the usual stoic and silent 'Haru' shed tears for the first time, not even when he was born did he cry, but he did now, years a bit too late.

He shuts in even further.

If it weren't for his new younger brother (a brother? could you believe that? is the universe still that kind to him? or will it take him away again?) he would've been a complete shut in.

He was given another chance, and he would take it, if not for his new younger brother, but for his sons and daughter. Live the life his sons went back in time for.

He discovers the Hamato clan's purpose was different. It was still a ninja clan, but it was now for the purpose of stopping the Foot Clan from summoning the Shredder, where in this world, was a mere legend. Hiro did not believe in it but Haru gave the story the benefit of the doubt.

It was because of that that their mother left. To fulfill her duty as Hamato.

Hiro was devasted.

Still, as a part of a ninja clan, they trained.

Haru was considered a prodigy by their grandfather. Of course he would be considering he's a master in his former life. Because of that, there's a growing gap between him and Hiro. But Hiro is a prodigy in his own right, he was thankful that the gap was not because of him and his ninjutsu, but becauss of Hiro's resentment against the Hamato clan for taking their mother away.

Haru tried his best to be a good big brother. He supported Hiro in his interests, practically raised him to be the person he is, gave him cryptic wisdom advice for him to figure out later. Hiro could never fill the hole in his heart for his family but it helped.

Hiro then runs away and before he does he promises that he does not hate Haru and that he was sorry.

Haru did not see Hiro from then on.

He too leaves the Hamato clan to go to New York to find some semblance of normal back to his life. He thought of buying turtles, he just finds it a little silly as well. It was like he's hoping to get mutated once more to get his children back.

He spends his time in New York peacefully and with no worry.

That's when he saw them.

Sitting on the rooftop of his apartment building, bantering with each other. Same names, same masks...

Familiar... yet so different...

They're different species, their personalities were not that off from his own sons but it was still that, different. He knew that alternate universes exists from that one time his sons brought doubles, but the chances of him running in to them was...

If they exist...

Then that means Hiro...

Oh... the irony of his situation.

He spied them for a while, turns out he lives in the same building as April O'neil, their human friend. He smiles to himself knowing that was a universal constant.

Still, it worries him. Were these guys mutated by the Kraang? It doesn't seem so... he doesn't see men in business suits anywhere. As he dives deeper in the mysteries in New York, he found out about the hidden city and where mutants come from, or at least, newer mutants. There were yokais and there's this specific one that went against his... (not his... never his) the turtles.

Still, no sight of Hiro.

That was until April realized that he held a striking resemblance to one Lou Jitsu did she connect the dots and told the brothers, to which the brothers told Hiro or Splinter now, and he refused to see him, scared of what Haru would think of him now.

Haru would not judge him, after all, he went through the same thing... minus being an action star.

They set up a meet up and they meet again.

Hiro says Haru must've probably hated him for leaving like their mother.

"I would never," he says to his furry brother, "you are family, and that's all that matters."

(He would never hate Saki, even if he has done all those things, he just doesn't have the heart to. He would never hate Karai, she wasn't aware, she's just the product of her upbringing. He could never hate any of them.)

Hiro felt like a kid again and cried. He did too.

And so he was welcomed to the family in open arms.

The turtles notice the longing look he always sends them. Like he was looking at them, yes, but he was seeing other people. He brushes it off, not really ready for that conversation yet.

He knows they're different but he can't help but see his children whenever he looks at them. They're so different, but they carry some of his kids personalities at the same time.

It hurts.

Raph is as protective as Raphael, he's just as stubborn as well, smashing through things first without asking a question

Leo is just as much as a worrier as Leonardo, even if he tries to hide it by being silly (probably too shy to admit it), oh, and he has the same spark of being a leader he sees in Leonardo.

Donnie is just as smart as Donatello, that's a universal constant. But just like Donatello, he's sarcastic and he's bright, he loves to talk and talk and it brings him comfort that remained in this universe.

Mikey is just as eccentric and friendly as Michelangelo. He was ready to accept him the first time. His kindness knows no bounds.

And April, April is as resilient and determined as his own, and feisty and outgoing like Casey Jones, even down to the signature screaming their name before an attack.

He felt so at home but at the same time... guilty.

How come he's enjoying his time here when he left his own family?

This is where the song enters.

I look into your eyes and I Think back to the sons of mine You're as old as they were when I left and died Will these actions haunt my days? Every mistake I made? Is the price I pay endless pain? Close your eyes and spare yourself the view How could I hurt you? I'm just a man who's trying to go home Even after all the years away from what I've known I'm just a man who's fighting for his life Deep down I would trade the world to see my family and wife I'm just a man

I changed the lyrics to match.

Here after his son's mutation day, his walls finally cracked.

He cups Leo's cheeks, silent tears streaming in his eyes as he tells the story.

He feels guilty. He says he still wants to go home but he knows he can't. He says he's happy because he has a family here but what of the one he left behind? Deep down he wants to go back, he wants his former family back. He feels like he's betraying them by being happy with alternate versions of themselves, but at the same time he feels like it's unfair for the them to love him when he doesn't even know if he loves them to fill in the hole in his heart or because he genuinely cares.

He's conflicted and it's hurting him.

Years worth of grief and bottled up emotions led to this.

And Leo hugs him.

"It doesn't matter, Uncle Haru... or Yoshi or Splinter," he says, "Because in every universe, we're family, and that's all that matters."

He could never know what his family is doing, if they moved on from him or not... but perhaps he should be taking his own advice and stop dwelling in the past and focus on the now.

After all...

The multiverse is grand.

There's a chance they'll meet again.

#rottmnt #tmnt 2012 #Spotify #gonna make this an au now I guess #misplaced au #cuz why tf not

[sleepy-seal]

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"HOW THE FUCK-"

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"it hurts and i dont think anyone cares."

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"> I'd- ha, I'd hug you right now, but that's probably the last thing you want, and- and I'm all sticky, so-"

"...That’s actually the first thing I want."

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"the Traveller is fuckinG STONE. and I am GOING to at LEAST come As close to KILLing you as POSSIBLE."

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"I really never wanted this. But I guess your choice didn't matter, did it? Ever since I answered no to that question, it hurts. It hurts so much. But it's Alright."

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"> ... Gale. Look at- look me in the eye and tell me you genuinely think this is fine."

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"YOU HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME AT ALL, HAVE YOU? *YOU* WANT TO RETURN BACK TO SOME BULLSHIT LIFE WHERE EVERY DAY IS THE SAME AND EVERY SINGLE DAY IS A BLUR AND LET ME TELL *YOU* SOMETHING."

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"Sure, sure..yeah..thats what you think, but thats not what I was told.."

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"……… you’re. wrong. let. this. Go. or I will Let It Go FOR YOU."

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"let Myself be AROUND them too long, start Getting to me. I Don’t even HAVE my TOOLS right now When I had The CHANCE to take them because I let Them get to my Head and such."

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"It… it is. It is your fault… Oh my god it’s all your fault. You did it."

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"No one can be their best self at all times. It’s simply not possible. If you understand that in others, you should extend the same forgiveness to yourself."

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"> … Gale said he wished he left me in hell. He doesn’t want me around."

"HAHAHAHA WHAT- he wanted you Around SO BAD he got ATTACHED to a MURDEROUS SCALE REPLICA. which tried To KILL HIM. oh my God and You BELIEVED That???"

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"…no. I think….its because they didn’t want to die for it. Probably got paranoid and then encased the soulbound program. And now. I dont think neither can die."

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"WWHAT DOYOU MEAN!? I AM VERY CLEARLY OBVIOUSLY.GALE."

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"i Mean the MORE MEANING the Better, RIGHT?"

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"Moth I don’t hate you I never have. You’re my best friend, okay? I- I love you, and I forgive you."

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"YYOU. I DDON’T KNOW HOW TO FFEELABOUT YOU ANYMMORE. II WAs leFT BEHIND. aLL BECAUSSE OF A SSTUPID SLAPFFIGHT!!! I WWAS AALONE AND SCARRED IN THAT FFORREST. YYOU DI.dn’T COME BACK FOR SO LLonG. I WASS GENUINly sTARTing to GET CCONVINCED YOUU JUST LLEFT mE."

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"i. shoulD have Stopped this a WHILE AGO."

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"God you’re such a coward! Instead of doing anything the hard way you default to what you think is the easiest way out. You don’t think. You barely even plan. Your only instinct is to hurt and kill."

"i. am NOT. a COWARD.i Have to try HARDER and HARDER just To keep myself On the RIGHT TRACK nothing About this is the EASY WAY donT you DARE, GALE."

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"> They keep just taking things off the shelves it’s like having a child with me. They act like it’s their first time in a- Actually it probably is nevermind. Still."

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#THE LORE #this is the longest one

[crossdressingdeath]

Why are people bias against JFM? Madame Yu is a woman, she is strong, yes. But at the end of the day both are at fault for their children's upbringing. Putting all the fault on JFM is unfair because in the case where Madame Yu is constantly slandering his image by constantly reproaching him of being unfaithful, it is tiresome to deal with someone who just won't listen to you. It's like talking to a wall. Of course JFM will walk away. He prefers to avoid accidentally snapping at his wife in anger, or frustration. Him walking away is him being considerate enough to not agitate his wife further in front of their kids.

In the manghua, in the scene after the cave, he asks Madame Yu to speak about the matter of his supposed love for Wei Wuxian's mother in private. He tries to be considerate to his son. He doesn't want Jiang Cheng to hear his mother insinuate he favours Wei Wuxian because of his rumoured love for his mother.

People love Madame Yu and might be bias because she is strong and fearless, a rare representation in the books from what I've noticed, but they should see that it is not entirely JFM's fault that Jiang Cheng turned out this way. If we look at every husbands, we can see that JFM is actually decent, even better than everyone else. Particularly if we compare him to Jin Guangshan who mind you cheats left and right.

If we were to try and apply their personality in real life, who would you really prefer to have as a friend or partner? Madame Yu who is according to fans, a tsundere but I don't think the author confirmed this fact? Someone with whom you have to walk on eggshells with becauss she will criticize you for every single thing that you do? Trust me I live with someons like that and I can tell you it's not easy. Or with someone like JFM? Someone who is passive to a fault, yes, but who won't dishonour you by slandering your name constantly? Someone who will only criticize you when only when you deserve it? I believe that if circumstances were different, about his marriage and his partner, JFM wouldn't be that terrible as a father. He gets along well with people who have a similar personality to him and we can't blame him for that because it would be hypocritical since according to fans who defend Madame Yu's character, we are supposed to accept her as she is. Living with someone like Madame Yu is not easy and I can understand why JFM would be avoiding her. He is trying to make himself as small as he can to avoid getting scolded and reproached at. I feel for him in that way because I try to avoid conflicts in general with people like Madame Yu because it is exhausting and has a tendency to set off my anxiety.

So if we are to start blaming people left and right, completely ignoring that while parents can influence your personality, children don't always turn out to be as abusive as them because they generally want to avoid recreating that pattern (Jiang Cheng could have changed himself. No one told him to be like his mother. He was old enough when he went to Gusu to have healthy interactions with others. You are right to blame the parents but also let's keep in mind that not every child who was born into a family where the father was an alcoholic will become one as well. It is all up to the individual to in the end change the pattern. Sometimes they need help to change and that's okay. Because they know they need to change.)

Sorry for my long post but that's how I see Jiang Fengmian and Madame Yu. It's very tragic that it turned out this way, but Madame Yu maybe shouldn't have pushed the engagement so much on her side too. JFM knew they weren't compatible but she wanted to marry him (honestly though...who wouldn't when you see all the other clan leaders at this time? Nie Mingjue is younger than JFM and Jin Guangshan and Wen Ruohan I think. So he wouldn't be their classmate.) JFM realistically when you meet everyone else, is the best choice as husband. It's really just seeing who is the least terrible of all of them.

First off yeah, NMJ is the next generation down from JFM and YZY; they would’ve gone to school with his father, who died when NMJ was young. YZY maybe could have married his father, but... well, she didn’t. And JFM very much did not want to marry YZY; her family forced him into it, and he only gave in when CSSR and WCZ (who were likely his only support) left the sect.

Yeah, it really is this Thing where people are like “Oh, JFM was so horrible to JC!” when... his only real fault was not stopping YZY. He doesn’t even avoid her! She avoids him! She hangs out in her pavilion refusing to do her job as the sect leader’s wife! The most he does to her is try to stop her from using her children and JFM’s head disciple as weapons in her pointless, petty war against the man she forced to marry her! And even then he’s not trying all that hard; I mean, she’s still permitted to whip WWX for complete non-offences. JFM could put YZY in seclusion permanently or just divorce her outright; instead all he requests is that she not be blatantly cruel and petty in front of him, and apparently even that’s too much for her. Also like. she didn’t have to marry a great sect leader, now did she? There are loads of minor sects; she’s from one of them. But no, only one of the most powerful men in the world would be enough for her, and the fact that they were entirely incompatible was unimportant.

Basically JFM was distant, sure, but wasn’t actually a bad father or husband. It’s just that 1. YZY made everyone miserable and JFM didn’t stop her so apparently it’s his fault and 2. the bare minimum requirement of “don’t be horrible to literally everyone including children in front of me” is apparently way too much to ask of YZY so that cruel demand is tantamount to abuse. It’s a lot of bullshit caused by people bending over backwards to find excuses for the woman who whips a child because she hated his mother, essentially.

#mdzs #lotus mom #jiang fengmian #anon #asks

[bansheeoftheforest]

Oop, dropped a wing of one of the birds, lemme just leave that on the mat real quick-

Anywhos, the idea of them thinking Hyde Jr. is beating up Jekyll Jr. on the daily is great. They scold him in cat form all the time and constantly baby Jekyll Jr. because 'aww poor darling gets picked on, oh he's so underfed, we need to love him EVEN MORE!!' They try their hardest to hide the existence of both cats from Jekyll becauss yeah, Griffin's cat is here, but they're kind of part of his experimentation, and are also domestic and tame, unlike Hyde Jr., who is this scrappy little cream tabby who shreds everything in sight, people included, and Jekyll Jr., who is so skittish and thin and flees at loud noises or yelling.

What if they think Jekyll Jr. is from a bad owner though?? Highlander's are a pretty specific breed of cat, not usually strays, so they start getting protective of him thinking he got abandoned or something? The angst of Jekyll feeling so loved in cat form but so alone in human form that he starts spending more and more time in cat form. Robert gives him affection in cat form and it eats him up inside but he still guiltily indulges in the attention.

Sidenote I think the Lodgers should be divided on which Jr. is cutest and Jekyll is so embarrasst while Hyde is offended because excuse you, he is a tough alley cat, not a fuzzy little baby. Maijabi especially I want to be super fond of bob tail cats.

Oo wait what if they had Cerebellar Hypoplasia/Wobbly Cat Syndrome? Would it also transfer over to their human form? Would Jekyll use his cane more often for support? Would Hyde learn to use the wobbliness to his advantage in fights? Man I just really love cats and how resilient they are and how they don't let anything stop them from being happy cats. I have a lot of Feelings about wobbly cats in particular, I love them so much and want all of them to get good homes.

Maijabi holding up Jekyll Jr. like 'best quality; his wobbles'.

You are lucky i love this au so much-- /J XD

I mean, Hyde would definitely use the rumors to his advantage and fully state that yes, the cat named after him always beats up the cat named after Jekyll. Isn't Hyde JR just great. He is such a good boy, isn't he. Why are you not giving him a thousand treats. Meanwhile Cat!Henry would just listen to them gushing about how Hyde Jr Is so mean to him and just... Take in all the praises and all the love because Hyde can't do anything about it <3

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Mmmm angst <3 The Lodgers trying to find Jekyll Junior's owner specifically so they can beat him up for being such a bad owner, although they quickly abandon that idea in case they would have to give Jekyll Jr. up, instead just... Deciding to informally adopt him. Gives him a collar w "Jekyll Jr." on it or just "J Jr.", with the Society's address on the back of the pendant so they can feel like he really is their cat now. Henry not minding it bc this is the most included he has ever felt with the Society, even if he feels bad for the poor Lodger who tried to put a collar on Hyde. Things get a little awkward when Henry tries to transform back into a human and the collar stretches and gets stuck around his neck. Definitely does not hurt but certainly makes him feel weird. Henry (if it is the route where his parents told him he was cursed by God or sm shit) feeling so bad for spending so much time in cat form bc it's supposed to be bad but he just starts feeling more and more upset as a human and the Lodgers only like him if he is a cat. Ends up with Human Henry disappearing for days at a time with the Lodger gushing about how they finally don't have to worry about shaking Jekyll off of their backs while cuddling Jekyll Jr... Henry being so desperate for Robert's affection that he couldn't stop himself for craving it and yet only feeling worse afterward <3

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I bet the Lodgers would try dressing respective cats up in lil outfits to prove who is cutest. A lodger makes their own camera just to cover an entire wall in photographs of Jekyll Jr. In a tiny cravat and waistcoat matching Henry's normal outfit and Hyde (albeit seconds away from clawing a lodger's face off) in a tiny cape and top hat. Maijabi thinking they all are ridiculous bc both cats are absolutely adorable (but he is definitely biased towards Jekyll Jr. That bobtail, folded ears, and adorable eyes are hard not to love a bit extra.)

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oh mY GOD WOBBLES. YES. Oh my god Jekyll always having been a bit wobbling bc of the mix between catshifter / human thingy so his joints are weird, having used a cane from a young age just to keep steady when he walks, the only time he is able to move straight is when dancing bc he has the support of his dance partner, Jekyll Jr. just being so wobbly the Lodgers thinks he is injured and beg Jasper to have a look at him. Jasper barely having to see him move for five seconds before he is already giggling and giving the kitty some pets while consoling the Lodgers by telling them that Jr is fine, he is just wobbly. The Lodgers thinking that the Jrs are siblings bc they both are so wobbly but ultimately decide that it's impossible (or at least they aren't from the same litter) since Hyde is a mixed stray and Jekyll is a purebred highlander. Either way Henry spends a lot of his time in cat form getting gushed over how cute he is with his little wobbles. He manages to walk in a straight line and the Lodgers cheer and gives him so many treats. Sometimes just standing gets him tired so he just... Rolls over with the most dramatic meow ever.

Maijabi would be such a cat dad to Jekyll Jr. and absolutely coddle him. So many cuddles <3<3

#ask #thejeksburyguy #catshifter au #banshees au

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

#ironhusbands #sambucky #headcanons #asks

[one-hand-incorporated]

((Hi hello we're alive I'm just being possessed by whatever the heck is forcing me to think of what Sephnit'd want to be if they were any other sort of creature

"Wait... why are you thinking about that? ... Are you... are you thinking of letting me be whatever I want?!"

((Shoot thEY HEARD ME-

((...... I mean-

((mAYbe- ":|

"Well then why are you thinking what I want to be when /I'm/ able to do it for mysself?"

((.... I don't feel like I should answer that question for your sake ":T

((- But aNYWays, if you want to come up with that idea for yourself, you can always go ahead! I was planning on kicking off the M!a today, but I set some plans with someone, and I think it's best if I wait for them to be ready

"Ohhh, sso /that'sssss/ why you were thinking of what I'd want to be... and here I thought you might jusst want to let me be anything out of the kindnessss of your heart,"

((I could fall for that guilt trip, but- I don't want to lose to one of my own creations again >:T

"Oh /really?/ Iss that why you don't want to even try to argue with me? Becausse you're afraid of lossssssing? You know, for the mun of ssuch an intelligent and, let'ss be honessssst, good-looking ssnake, I thought you'd have a bit more of a reasssonable fear than that!"

(( ( :|

(( : |

((Okay first of all, how do your looks have a play into whether or not I'm afraid of something, and secondly, a- fear of losing? It may be slightly humiliating on my part when I find out you're right, but this time I also don't want you to end up persuading me into making you whatever you want sooner than I'm planning!

"Excussesss, excussesss; ssssso many excussess!"

((Nope, I'm not going to change my ways today!

"Well I bet that'll be pretty hard to ressisst with me telling you about the right choice to make,"

((And I bet that'll be a hard thing to do, since you're asleep,

"Wait- what? But- I don't think I'm asssleep?"

((Now you are,

"But..." they yawn, suddenly drained of energy. "... I'm, not....-" Luckily, their retort was cut short by their own light snoring. Checkmate, snake.

#((Why does every interaction I have with them become an arguement/disagreement?!)) #((... I feel like I'm going about interacting with my own OC wrong-)) #[🕊I met my maker and it sseemss they're- really... /really/ quesstionable-🐍(mun/muse interaction)] #[🕊The Crime Snake's parent🕊(ooc)] #[🐍You can never have enough 'S'ss!(ic)] #long post

[aliasseries]

Shameless 9.01 “Are you there Shim? It is me, Ian”

The 9th season of Shameless has started and, in my personal view, I missed it. For me this is one of the best series out there at the moment. This will be the last for Emmy as well, since a few days ago she made a statement that she will not longer work in Shameless after season nine. Let’s see how the new season begins!

Shameless 9.01 “Are you there Shim? It is me, Ian” SPOILERS

Frank is on the floor of the kitchen surrounded by vomit when he gets a text message from her lover that her husband is out. He gets up and clean himself.

While that is happening in the Gallagher’s home, in the building apartment Fiona is fixing some things and making the building look good to try and sell it to pay Ian’s bail. Her boyfriend came from their apartment and they talk for a while and he leaves. A phone starts to ring, Fiona thinks is hers so she goes in to check but it wasn’t hers but one in her boyfriend’s jacket and it is a call from Patty. She tries to unlocked it but it has a retina unlock. She gets worried. Lip is looking at Eddie’s facebook page and then he send her a message asking if she is coming back because he still has her niece Xan, ans we can see her sleep in front of him.

Debbie’s baby is in the crib sleeping while she is working in the night shift. She gets her pay check and she and another worker went to have breakfast. Frank is with his lover at her house having sex. She tells him that he can stay as long as he wants and that she bought him a shirt, he was going to sleep whe he receive another message from another lover. Now Carl is in the army and we can see him give orders and helping the new recruts. It is the end of the year and he screams at one recrut that it’s left behind and he is afraid the general don’t give her a clear year. We can see as well how Carl’s wife made a camp outside to see him ans she is counting the days to be with him.

Fiona has a the real state guy looking the building and she explain everything about it while he is messure it all and looking everything, taking pictures, looking the machines, that they are in the basement so he goes down starir. While Frankis leaving the house of the first lover with his new shirt and he stars to look arounf and then steal some things and takes a coffee when the maid arrives and talk to him about the missing items. Then he goies the the front house to his next lover when he sees her husband leave.

We are at the prison now, we can see how an inmate is taking it with another inmate and slap him. Then he ask “Since when you have a voice in this, bitch?” on what Ian answer “Since I told him he has, bitch” Apparently some inmates are in a strike thank to Ian until this inmate treats them with respect. The guy took the boy by the hair and told him to let’s go when another inmate push him and tell him to let him go. Ian and the inmate are face to face and the guy tells him “Fuck you and your hoe strike”.

Lip is getting dress up by Xan because there’s a wedding they will attend to. Frank is having sex with his second lover in yoga style. Fiona tells Ian that she almost has the bail money, she tells him that maybe tomorrow she will get it but he says that he need some more days because there’s opresion there and “lambs” to take care of. She asks him of he gets his medication in there but he doesn’t answer and leave, Fiona is worry.

In the bar Kev is with his three girls and the girls are with a lot of energy so they put them in a cage. Debbie came with her friends to have breakfast and she founds out that the boss pay her three dolars less an hour that the boys. Lip is in the church waiting for the maid of honor becausse he is the best man and they talk for a while. Frank goeos to the school and tells her soon to take the bag wth the items he stole to home.

Carl is seeing the general because he wants to discuss the leftenet cadet position that is between he and another recrute. He knows that one of his guys is behind but he tells the general that next year he can make them be better. The general tells him that he gets his personal life in order and get a senator recomendation he can be leftenet cadet next year. Fiona arrives to the building apartment  where her boyfriend working in the outside. She gives him the jacket with the phone in the pocket that he left in her house and he checks the phone.And then he lefts.

In the prison the inmate goes to Ian to talk about the strike and talk about it. They all seat together in the table and talk since the inmate wants his guy back. It is already the party at the wedding and everyone is dancing and having fun, Xan shows Lip some moves when the bride’s sister join them, the three of them are having fun. Then a boy aproach to Xan and ask her to dance ans she agrees but Lip doesn’t trust it. The bride’s sister takes Lip and they go to hook up in a closet.

At the school the PTA has a meeting and the principal of the school start talking about the sexual relationships that are between the adults. A doctor stars talking becasue there’s some people who got positive on STDs And all the people in the PTA are gonna be tested it to see the reason of these STDs. Some refuse and want to leave but the doctor doesn’t let them becasue it is the law.

Debbie goes to confront her boss since she gets three dolers less than the boys. And he tell her that is becasue she is a girl and takes more time to pee and also because the mentruation and that he had her time her. She gets piss  off. On the wedding Lip and the maid of honor are at he closet, while they are at it she puke but she didn’t want to stop. At the PTAmeeting everyone was tested so the doctor say some names and there are the names of the people who can leave the rest has to stay since they are the infected by multiple STDs. The doctor asks for their sexual partners and is discover that almost everyone slept with everyone. Frank is relieve becasue he tought he was the guilty on that.

Fiona and her boyfriend are grabbing some stuff from the car when he gets a phone call but he doesn’t answer. Fiona gets a text message and her building report was already done and she was able to get the bail for Ian. Her boyfriend make a face so she ask her what hapend and he answet that it is better not get involve with her family and he tries to change the subject and go to the apartment but she asks him if he thinks she doesn’t have to pay the bail. Then he says that she shouldn’t because her brother has a lot of troubles that he have a Jesus complex and he could hurt somebody by set that vain on fire. In the PTA they are still discusting the sexual relationships between one another when is discover that all the women had sex with Frank.

Kev and V are at the bedroom and Kev wants to have some fun with V but when he gets in the room the twins are in the bed with a lot of energy. At the camp Carl is watching on his wife that is cheerleading at the outside and he is worry because  of her and his bad recruit he can’t get the promotion. 

Kev is with the gorls outside playing catching the ball trying to take some energy out of them and then they could sleep. While at Gallagher’s house Debbie seems making some invention to try and no going to the toilet that much at work, Xan is witht he phone laughing while Lip is making dinner and ask her why she laughs, she then show him that he is videochatting with Ed the guy from the wedding and Lip doesn’t like it at all. Fiona arrives to have dinner with the family, and she tolds them about how she gets the jail bail for Ian. She ask if they think that Ian is gonna go wrong, Lip asks if he is taking his meds, Debbie if he is going to be Gay Jesus again and they all talk how in a bad place he was. That makes Fiona wonder if her boyfriend wouldn’t be right. Kev made the twins tired and they fall sleep so he goes to the house and call for V then they go upstairs. The members of the PTA who are infected are in the school getting her med taking every four hours. The doctor tells them to relax but they can’t be and they start to fight between couples and each other. Then Frank starts to talk and gives a speech and everyone calm down and they all talk and all the truth comes out.

Fiona is with her boyfriend in the apartment watching tv when Fiona takes his phone from the jacket and use his eyes to unlock it. He wakes up and she asks him why he has two phones and he say that it is because it’s to talk with her mum, it’s an international phone. He tells her to call that Patty (his mum he said) but she say no that it is ok and he tell her that all that Ian situation is making her paranoid and that she keep the phone, since she doesn’t trust him and that she answer when it rings. Debbie is getting ready for work with her diy baby diaper and Liam is taking back all that her father stole to his friends’ mothers. Lip arrives at the workshop and sees his boss dancing. They talk about the wedding and he suggested that take the brides maid to a real date. Fiona is lookinf the phone and getting stress, she calls patty and then she drops the phone on the toilet and she quickly put it in rice.

Kev and V are with the twins and the dogs trying to get the twins tired and they see kids from preschoool. Lip goes to the hair salon where Tami works and he ask ¡s her for a date, but she talks to rude and they scream at each other and Lip left. Debbie is at work and it calling a work partner out because he went to the toilet three times, the boss goes talk to Debbie.

Fiona’s boyfriend arrive and ask her what is she doing, she tell him that getting the money from Ian’s jail money and that she didn’t want to hear him. Call is running in the camp when the recrut he has problems with came to him ans say he take care of the problem, Carl ask what problem and he answer “Kassidy, they would never found the body.” Ian and Fiona are talking and Ian say he has good news that the strike was over while Fiona was trying to tell him that she was going to get the jail bail money but he doesn’t listen he is talking about the strike and how he fix it. Fiona ask him worried if he is going to go to the court on what Ian answer “Well, we don’t know where Shim is gonna take me, don’t we” then explain that as we don’t know if God is a man or a woman then Shim.

All the people in the PTA are now free to leave with all the medication being taken. Debbie goes to Jacob and remember him that she was the only one who didn’t go to the toilet, and he tells her that in the next check she is going to have 18 dolars per hour as everyone else.

In this episode we can see as in the rest of the first episodes of the season how is gonna be the story for every character.

I think Fiona is gonna have a rough time with her boyfriend because of trust issues but that it maybe will work out at the end and who know if at the end of the season she left with him to UK?

Lip is going to show us the good heart he has taking care of Xan. I think we can see his paternal side and how maybe the next season he will be the one who have to take care of the family.

Frank... Frank is Frank. In every mess it is there is him! I think it is more Frank to see and more fun with him.

Carl has to live now knowing that Kassidy was killed by his recrut and we’ll see if he is able to get the promotion he wants and how all it affects him.

Debbie is going to show the strong woman she is. For two season we see her struggle and trying getting the best for her and her baby and this season isn’t going to be different.

Ian and his bipolar desise are going to be a very important part of the plot. He is really into the church and God and helping people who is in danger or struggling. I hope he gets the attention he needs and take his meds.

Liam is the kindest soul and as Lip says in this episode “How are you a Gallagher?“ and it is true he has a great heart, he doesn’t want to hurt anybody, doesn’t like the life his father is into and he tries his best to be good and stay that way.

Kev and V and her twins are gonna have a difficult time since their kids are so full of energy. We’ll see if preschool are gonna help them some way.

Gifs by @daillyshameless and @whitefluffyyeti 

#shameless #gallagher #liam gallagher #lip gallagher #ian gallagher #debbie gallagher #fiona gallagher #frank ghallager #showtime

[thetrueghostqueen]

Day One and Already a Bad First Impression- A Fated Prophecy

masterlist   cover  characters   prologue   chapter 1 

Over the course of the week the Gods kids settled in. Most of them stayed in their lodgings and only spoke to each other. A few of them left and met some people. BamBam for instance met a group of girls who called themselves DreamCatchers.

   The DreamCatchers were a seven girl coven of Dark witches. BamBam had to admit that they were smokin' hot. He also met some druids and nymphs that he wouldn't mind spending more time with.

   It was a pretty good week. They all seemed to adjust to their new surroundings, even if they all weren't thrilled with coming here.  

  It was the first day of class. BamBam was finishing the last embellishments to his outfit when Yugyeom, Adarra, and Jungkook came into the main living area. Although the rest of the family was awake it was only the four of them that had to leave early. They would be at second period when the others went to first.  

 BamBam and Adarra had all of their morning classes together. Jungkook and Yugyeom had their first period together. All 15 of them would meet up for lunch and then go their separate ways until dinner. Hoseok and Jackson were teasing them about their early start. BamBam and Jungkook adopted Adarra's finger habit and flicked them off as they left for the day.

   The four of them made their way to the main campus of the school. They said their good byes and split off into two's.  In class BamBam and Adarra found seats beside each other and sat down. Adarra placed her bag behind her like a pillow and lifted her legs to lay across the desk.  

 A few of the guys in the class tried to catch her attention and BamBam chuckled as Adarra blew them off with her obscene finger gestures.  

  After a couple of minutes the Professor or the class appeared and called everyone to order. Adarra took the time to lay her head back. The Professors eyes landed on the two new additions to the school and slithered his way around the desks towards them.  

 The Professor spoke to the Gods kids. BamBam couldn't help but notice that he sounded like he was speaking parseltongue from Harry Potter. "Rule number one of my Classss. No Glassessss unlesssss they are needed for reading."

  BamBam removed the sunglasses that he was wearing. They had all taken to the glasses to stop people from staring at their unusual eyes.

 The Professor looked at Adarra when she made no move to follow the rule. " You too." The Professor spoke again. Adarra still sat there ignoring him.

    "Sir, she can't remove her glasses." BamBam spoke up.

 "Jussst becausse you are sspecial doessssn't give you sspecial privilegesss." The Professor argued. "Two, I do not need you to ssspeak for her Sshe hasss a mouth."

 The Professor's slithered speech began to annoy BamBam. "Adarra is the daughter of Ryujin and Asherah. Both her eyes and her voice put any not of full GOD hood under her thrall. Now if you and everyone in this class or school would like to obey her every command by all means continue to push." As BamBam spoke a glow began to form around him until the brightness overtook the room. " If that is not what you want, I advise you to LET IT GO!!"

  The Professor stared at BamBam for a moment before audibly swallowing and nodding. " Forgive me son of RA." The Professor made his way back to the front of the classroom to begin the lesson about the wars of mortal men.  

 Class went by quickly after the initial hiccup. The next class was outdoors for weapons or power training. The whole school participates at the same time.  Adarra made a mad dash over to Jinyoung as soon as she saw him.  BamBam joined Yugyeom, Jungkook, and V. Over on the other side of them Namjoon, Jin, Mark, and Yoongi stood together. Adarra was with Jinyoung, Jaebum, and Hoseok. Jackson was with Jimin and Youngjae.  

   For those that were in power training, which meant the Gods kids, Demi Gods, Druids, Witches, Fae, and some other magical based creatures they were ushered towards a stadium that was created to be a safe space to harness powers without destroying anything.

  Everyone was told to take a seat and would get their turn in time. Adarra and Jinyoung were first. Jinyoung attacked with various forms of magic. Summoning dead warriors, creating deadly plants that spit acids and nasty venoms, and the list goes on.  

  Adarra deflected everything Jinyoung threw at her before shifting into a dragon. Her dragon form was a sight to behold. Her scales were the same color blue as her hair in human form and they were etched with gold markings. She is a cross between a European and a Japanese dragon.

 Once in dragon form she charged Jinyoung and pinned him down. The mock battle was ended when she licked his face and he tapped out. She shifted back and with a silent laugh slung her arm across his shoulder and went to sit down.

  The nest hour they saw Demi-Gods, Druids, Witches, and Fae take their shots. Jin and Yugyeom were the next God kids called.

 Both were given the instruction to concentrate and feel the power within. This was the time to discover who they were not show off like the first two members of their family did.  

 Yugyeom was the first to succeed. The non existent wind in the arena began to pick up until it was reaching category four hurricane territory. With a struggling nod from the Professor, Yugyeom cut off the winds.

 Jin summoned a Hunt. Ghost like archers appeared all around the arena. Before he could cut off the power his body began to charge with electricity and the booming sound of thunder could be heard.

 Youngjae and Yoongi were next. Youngjae summoned a golden chariot that eerily matched Apollo's and he summoned a group of slain warriors that charged at Yoongi.  

 Yoongi whom up until the warriors began to charge appeared to be sleeping raised his arm and poppies and gold dust fell around the arena. The warriors disappeared and he was asleep on his feet once more.  

  Jackson shifted into a large black panther and summoned Hades' Hell steads and chariot. Jaebum shifted into a massive lion. Mark was able to manipulate any power he saw. He was also able to shift his person and voice to match anyone he wanted. Hoseok brought the sound of Thunder and made lightning dance around the arena.

 BamBam took center arena. Greenish fog rolled around him and the arena got brighter and brighter until a Professor yelled enough. He gave a sheepish smile when he noted a few druids had gotten scorched.

 Jungkook, Jimin, V, and Namjoon had no success bringing forth their abilities.  

 Class ended for the day. The Gods kids were ordered to stay behind. They kept their seats and waited. Once the arena was cleared the Professors began to speak.

"It has come to our attention that some if not most of you have been less than accepting of integrating with Wieland. You were given a week to acclimate and in that time only a couple of you were seen mingling with others. Every super natural and mythical species attend here. Just because you are Gods doesn't mean you are above or more special than other beings."

  Another Professor continued. "This place was established to help and train beings such as yourselves to be the best that you can be for the betterment of our world. To work with you to achieve your full potential. Let us help you."

 " Help us?" Jinyoung scoffed. "The classes you have us in are crap. This school should be renamed Remedial Learning for Morons. You actually teach classes  that explain you are a werewolf because you have fur every moon cycle and turn into a rabid man dog. How does that help us?"

The first Professor spoke again. " It helps because knowing what you are and why will help you be stronger and better in the future."

 "You actually believe that?" V Scoffed this time. " You honestly believe we need a class that tells us You are Gods because your God mother and your God father screwed each other and here you are?"

 The first Professor sighed. " In a way yes. Not every student understands why they are what they are. Many ponder why they were born this way. It's our job to teach and help."

  "Did we wake up in a different universe? Are we in Harry Potter where a muggle can give birth to a witch?" Jinyoung asked incredulously. " This is the real world. You can't be a GOD born to two human parents. You can't be..."

 "Demi Gods are born by a human all the time." The second Professor cut Jinyoung off.

Jinyoung stood. His fuse was finally blown. "We're not Demi Gods you moron. We are full GODS. You have never dealt with OUR kind. Yet you stand there and tell US you, YOU know what's best for US!"

 His tirade was cut off by Adarra tugging him back into his seat. The Professors looked at each other not knowing what else to say and not understanding how they lost control of the discussion. They looked to the Gods kids and saw the glares directed towards them. Without another word they turned on their heels and quickly walked out leaving the Gods kids alone in the arena.

 The Gods kids remained for a few moments longer. Namjoon and Jaebum trying to convince everyone to just go with it for now. Even though they themselves agreed with Jinyoung and V. But they were stuck here for who knows how long and constantly butting heads with the Wieland Professors would only hurt them in the long run.

 For the most part everyone begrudgingly agreed and headed to their next class. Only Jinyoung and Adarra remained.

Adarra had been with Jinyoung long enough to know just how angry he was without needing him to say it. She just sat there rubbing calming circles against his back.

 She had been in love with him for 8 years. They had always been close. The kid of an unpredictable dragon God and the kid of a terror and War God connected them on a deep level. They both had volatile tempers and learned early on that only the other could calm them down.

 In a way you could call it fate that a few years later the close friendship they had would progress into love. Adarra was 12 and Jinyoung 15 when they first kissed. 16 and 19 when they first uttered I love you. 18 and 21 when they made their relationship official by getting married.  

 Jinyoung was the first to hold her when she was brought to their home at 3 months old. It was kismet in a way that he would be the one to hold her always.  

 Adarra felt the moment the anger dissipated from Jinyoung. She leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. " What say we skip the rest of the day?"

 Jinyoung chuckled and turned his head to look at Adarra. " That sounds wonderful. Cuddle up in our bed and watch those cheesy movies you love so much?"

 Adarra grinned and kissed him again. " Yep, but don't lie love. You love those cheesy movies as much as I do. Although I say we don't start with the cheese. We start with..." She paused for a second in thought. " I feel the itch to watch Harry Potter."

 Jinyoung let out a bark of laughter and covered his mouth. " I love you!"

 " I love you too!"

 Off they went to lazy the day away with cuddle time and movies.

#got7 fanfiction #bts fanfiction #upcoming #new #adventure #fantasy #romance #angst #bts #got7 #xreader #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #kim seokjin #kim yugyeom #bambam #im jaebum #mark tuan #jackson wang #min yoongi #park jinyoung #park jimin #choi youngjae #jeon jungkook #jung hoseok

[gungambled]

[ alright so i have stated this before, but i never made a long headcanon post for it so here we go with the REASONING for celestia ludenberg and her hair. 

     okay so as for my headcanon for her childhood -- growing up with her mom, celestia had really long hair. and it was BEAUTIFUL. naturally that stark black, and perfectly straight, her mom used to love brushing it and simply playing with it even when she got sick. there were days where annalise could not get out of bed and so taeko would just sit beside her and let her play with her hair because it comforted her and gave a distraction. those days she felt like a DOLL but it was a fulfilling thing because it made her mother happy.

        after her mother died, taeko kept her hair long in memory of her mother. it got hard to take care of and it lost some of it’s grandeur, but taeko did her best to keep it presentable under her father’s neglect. she was able to take better care of it when her dad started sending her to gambling matches because he paid at least a little attention to her then. 

      but the bad thing about her long hair was that it gave her opponents something to grab onto. she was FREQUENTLY abused out of her winnings by other gamblers because she couldn’t really do anything. her hair made it easy to grab her and make her stay and ended up being a real problem for her but she kept it anyways for the sake of her mother. she NEEDED something to keep her who she was and her hair was a reminder of the past.

      and then that FIRST game of russian roulette happened. as explained in other posts, her father forced her into a game in the expectancy that she would die. it traumatized her, and each time she pulled that trigger on herself she felt herself lose another piece of herself. by the time the game ended and she was the only one left alive she felt like she had lost everything, at such a young age, and that she would never get it back. she was effectively a new person, innocence stolen away. 

         the next  day she got jumped again and someone grabbed her hair. in a fit of rage, she took her knife and just cut through her own locks, lopping it all off so she could run away. when she got home she looked at herself in the mirror and thought it was GOOD that she had no idea who was looking back at her because she did not know who she was anymore. this coincides with the birth of her vulgar nature as taeko. the rudeness, foul language, flippant views on life. this is the moment that was born.

        with her hair gone, she was less likely to be caught, and it made it far easier to make a swift get away. short hair hurts less, and so she kept it all along for the sake of ease and survival. because that is what her mind had turned to: survival. and so she became this way, allowing the hatred to swell inside her until she set the fire that killed her father. which brings us to her final hair transformation and probably the most important: the curls.

     she COULD have grown her hair out when she decided to adopt a regal persona. it could have been real hair being used rather than the clip ons we all know. but even though she decided to be reborn as something far greater than she ever was, celestia could never bring herself to grow her hair out again. she knew it would leave her open to both attack and memories she would rather forget. but short hair was not enough for her to be perceived as what she wanted.

     thus came the curls. they are perfect because if someone grabs them to try to harm her she can simply unclip them and take off no harm or foul to her head. they offer her an escape she did not have in the past while being able to look cute and elegant. so yes, sometimes she gets jealous of other people’s hair becausse she cannot have it like that.  ]

#&& these things UNKNOWN ( headcanon. ) #long post about hair

[southpoles]

sometimes I’m like uhh am I overexaggerating the “abuse” my parents exercise on us and am I completely unjustified in complaining about them? but then I think about how I have two younger brothers who are drug addicts..because of how neglectful my parents are.....and how they always want to deny any sort of mental support or help for us because they’re immigrants who don’t give a shit about how others feel (they grew up in a country where physical and emotional abuse to ur children and spouse is a norm, so lol to that)

if my brothers are like that because of them, possibly, it’s okay for me to have my stupid breakdowns...that I have to always hide because my parents get angry when I’m upset and frustrated, right. it’s okay for me to feel extremely unsettling feelings that are borderline abusive and bitchy because my family pushes me to my limits,right? go to a therapist you say...but the psychological bounds and shackles I have connected to my parents hands is very very strong. I am trying my best to go to therapy secretly, but I want to use my dads insurance because I’ll get good quality care with that. but eventually the bills will pile up and I’ll get confronted...should I just put that in the backburner of my mind for now instead of worrying about it? why am I so worried about something that needs to be very simple? how come I didn’t want to go to my schools free therapy until now (because I have this newfound confidence to help myself since no one else wants to)

if I was social like my brothers were, I’d probably be using drugs too...I guess...even though I hate the feeling of not being in control of what I’m experiencing in this world...that’s laughable...so, would it be better for me to take pharamaceutical drugs instead? should I even go down that path? I don’t have the money for that though..

my anxiety is soso bad, only recently I’m starting to realize that 🤡 I wouldn’t have made soooo many vent posts in my lifetime if it weren’t. because these words and thoughts are literally only instigated by my anxiety, and not because of something happening. but when something abusive does happen I do go even crazier...

I just want a normal life where people care about me...I swear to god I don’t actually want to move out...my parents are my everything...obviously...you know I have no friends to go to right? I don’t have any relatives here because I’m first gen, do you understand the pain of that? I am not gonna be able to be independent anytime soon, I can’t even drive and I’m 22. I don’t have the psychological power to just /study/ for something ever. I cannot self study for the life of me. why? Is it because I have a learning disability I have been struggling alone with since my childhood??? I hope to god I can find out soon.. I wish I could learn to drive already, but my mom is also too busy to teach me and at least 3 times she has told me the story about how she learned how to drive all by herself because my shitty dad didn’t want to teach her when they first came to america. why is she suggesting something illegal and dangerous for me to do?

and honestly I am always jealous of my brothers. my mom treats their conversations as a joke, yet this speaks to me in a way that she is showing favoritism to their behavior. she’s never gotten angry at them like she gets at me for mishaps, she just jokes about it. why are people around me always trying to get on their good side? even I want to..yet they have such a disgusting layer of self defense against family on them. they are so apathetic and emotionless, and this looks cool to them? and then there’s my dad who can’t ever bond with them which makes him so angry so he starts yelling at my mom about it which pisses me off,but it’s his fault for letting them grow without a caring father. why does my mom not treat them the way she treats me. why does my mom only have conditional love, where she’ll hatemy guts and will want to berate me until I want to kill myself just becauss I don’t want to go to school. she doesn’t understand my pain at all, because she’s completely blinded by her own pain. am I supposed to forgive her because she was abused all her life too? am I supposed to forgive her because she’s not treating me the same way her abusers treat her? but just last night she was talking about my brother so royally just because he’s going to be studying for the night, when I told her about how he was speeding so much when I was in the car with him earlier and how he almost hit a bunch of people. why is she like this? why does she always forgive him? I guess she forgives me too for what I do, since she doesn’t hold her grudges against me for so long, but I feel so horrible about myself when those phases happen because I just want her to be sorry for me for once in her life, instead of always thinking I should be the one saying sorry for her. I just tend to try to be stubborn back at her and don’t say sorry. I can’t trust her anymore, I hate how she used to see me as a friend even though I have been hurting so much inside. is a friend supposed to make it impossible for me to talk about my feelings to them? I have always tried to emotionally comfort her but now I’m giving up. I‘ll hold on to this grudge as long as I can even though it’s not healthy to do so. why am I like this????

and honestly I am very worried about one of my brothers, the other one I can’t really give a shit about because he’s honestly really mean and perhaps abusive too. but my other one, he had to grow up being made fun of for crying. he’d always cry, and seeing him so emotionless and hiding to himself now makes me so upset. I really hope he has friends that care about him. and I know I am like this too. but I wish I could just bond with him, but my other brother is psychologically controlling him..like literally, when that brother is being mean to me he will join and defend him, even though this guy is literally the worst asshole to him. why would you want to protect your abuser? ugh. I wish he could be an indenpendent person.

why do I care about them if I hate them both so much? well..I remind myself of good childhood memories with them. even though we have been emotionally and visibily seperate from eachother for many many years, I wish I could be a good sister to them. insead they see me as a neuoritic bitch that is also pathetic..

#*** #woo why did i just talk a bought a bunch of random shit

[vertigoambrosia]

it’s fucking friday let’s watch shotguns from a year ago

walter’s true heel turn was when he slapped away mike schwartz’s beer

valiant francis; helping the man who ran in to help!

laffo saved from a bobby gunns promo walter’s a face again

walter you can’t call someone unprofessional and then start a fucking fistfight in the parking lot

is bad bones...short?

[no he’s just less tall]

what’s the rotation gonna be like after he goes through puberty?

shotgun i don’t understand german! just because emil is speaking english doesn’t mean we don’t need subs for everyone

andy totally just said something smart ass and i didn’t get it!

DAMMIT SHOTGUN now kim is being condescending and i don’t understand

but i guess blackfire is #1 contender for that DTU belt

so tommy end has more magic than adam? i feel like i need to go back to 2015 to fully ‘get’ this mystic shit

OH WHO’S THIS SHADOWY FIGURE WITH DRUGS...and wearing fur???

‘that ugly green belt’ i mean....bobby’s not wrong

shotgun....i don’t understand

jurn that was mean!

god emil is such a douuuuuucccchhhheeee

whoops missed an episode gotta watch sasa get beaten by mack (?)

(i don’t like criticizing mack but my feelings on his offense are probably gonna be highlighted by this match against mr. i pick men up and throw them down)

man you know you’ve got issues when your two dog men are concerned by your behavior

tommy you’re kinda being a dick tbh

which i know is a weird thing to say when adam’s sent cerberus out to do shit like beat up francis just to make a point

but still man :(

also if adam and tommy both have magic powers, does michael dante too? now he just seems like a normal dude but were sumerian death squad wrestling mystics too?

magicians? warlocks? sorcerors? i guess i should say sorcerors

wrestling is fucking weird, isn’t it

speaking of people being dicks, mean/abusive teachers are actual evil

i’m a little more sensitive than usual today, i think

idk if baby blue is really john’s color

ok i can’t deal with kevin’s reactions

oh no don’t put kevin on the spot

sweetie

shhhh

omg baby zack and marty in this video package

lol they didn’t completely mute the german commentary for this title match

either that or someone is blabbing really close by

ok i obviously love sasa with all my heart but sometimes he could sell better

awwwww this hot and spicy moment is so cute

axel’s sass is hilarious and i really hope he can pull it off in english too

though also i just like when he smiles :)

this is the axel gear i want [but if ringkampf made it it probably wouldn’t come in my size :( ]

i guess sasa does too was that was just straight up hand on the butt during that pin

‘caught axel completely off guard with that’ yeah i bet

am i a bad person for seeing the name ‘yannick assman’ and snickering?

*sasa voice* topes are stupid moves for idiots

falls count anywhere is one of the best stipulations

i like when tommy kicks people in the face becausse he has very long legs

also lol i’ve only seen nero wrestle a handful of times

‘kim, i know what you’re up to. i know you’re trying to keep your sugar baby around’

like, i love that the camera pans to ivanov making it clear that he is the cause of kim’s ‘money troubles’

idk if anyone has been to a wxw show (except for fromaninringperspective), but do the regular ones have a meet & greet type thing either before or after the show (the part where you can buy merch from dudes and say hi), or just bigger events like 16 carat and world tag league?

though my massive spending would indicate otherwise, i legitimately want to go to germany sometime next year and wxw is definitely on the list of things to do

[indomitablecrybaby]

Guys

so im having a crisis at work right now. im in the middle of the best worst love tirangle and all i want is for us to be a triad sooooo bad. theres this guy at work justin (pisces) and i really really really like him (like everytime i see him i get anxious and too happy and i just want to throw up because feelings) and he knows i like him hes asked me out about 3 times and i said no to them all and told him im jsut coming back from a bad situation my last relationship ended in abuse and im just trying to do me plus i dont really like to shit where i eat becasue it could turn out so bad  plus he flirts with all the dancers  at the club and i got warning to stayaway from him from another coworker  and i wasnt sure if he was just messing with me or not which he wasnt becausse we talked about that already. so then this new chick claire  (virgo) started working as a dancer at our club a few weeks ago and ive developed a huge crush on her ( i like him even more but im starting to like her more and more everyday and ive dreamt about all 3 of us for the last 3 night now) BUTTTTTT shes straight ( idk how straight but none the less) and she told me that she has a crush on justin too. she got devorced 3 years ago and that guy was her first and only for everything and the way she feels about justin is stronger than how she ever felt about her husband so naturally i told her how i felt about him and that i denied his advances and that i support her whole heartedly  becasue shes like the baby sun from the teletubbies to me and i adore the fuck out of her becasue shes literally perfect in her imprfection and all i wanna do is cuddle with her and talk for days. however tonight i royally fucked up because i knew he liked me still and didnt tell her that because i didnt really know the extent of  their situation and had a plan made for if he asked me out again to say look i really like you but claire likes you too and i told her i wouldnt step on her toes plus i really  really like her and i would hate myself if i ever hurt her especially over love so please stop  flirting with me and persue her because shes worth it but he asked me out and i got so happy and excited out and giddy and said yes. now i dont know what to do and i just want us to all be together so we can all be happy but life is hard and the odds are never in my favor. (plus alex and i are trying to work this out because he doesnt want to let go but i kinda sorta do but thats for a whole other post ) i dont remember the last time ive felt so strongly about someone much less feel all these feels for one time and im stressed. 

#me #personal #unwinding of my mind #i think justin would be down with it i just dont know if claire would #maybe i should just tell her eveything and see what she says. #ugh feelings are so hard #what do you guys think?

[highrankingdemoness]

Bullsh-,Entitlement,

Witchery and just a normal day

WARNING: there is mentioning of things related to sexual assault,physical assault and proficiency

Heads up; 2 years ago i made on of the biggest mistake of my life and got into my first romantic relationship where I was gaslighted, had my physical and emotional boundaries broken and when I ask to dissolves the relationship I was told I couldn't. That I DONT have permission and that it is unfair to tell someone they are not deserving of me.

Because I trusted this person we are now living with my father in an uncomfortable situation and my father made it clear he will decide with my ex partner because he milking both of us for money and if us getting back together means more money in my fatherpocket (mind you hes been stealing my money as of late) than he will tell me im difficultand bully me for leaving a relationship because "you cant just leave you have to have a worthy reason" My father is also looking for new homes out of our price range Becauss he wont be the one paying rent and "wants a nice place because i deserve it". Ive tried to reason with him but as a fuhmul (female) and a child (im 27 but child i guess)

I have been at the mercy of a very shitty job and just recently started another. I had to lie about my start date in order to keep my father off my back because "we need your pay stubs to move! Why havent they call you back?!"

So today:

* I pretended to go to work by hanging out at my local cafe. A friend told me California and eventually the U.S was banning all plastic straws and replacing them with metal/foil like ones. He said that plastic straws made up more than half of large waste. I felt the replacement was not sufficient but then he told me they were doing the same thing with plastic bag and apart of me thought

-theyll have take 0.10 off for every bag you habe to bring

- it takes 30 bags on the minimum to make one good sturdy reusable bag . The common grocery toll in America usually takes up an average of 20 bags. That means under the guise of using recyclable durable plastic bags each person will be taking 600 plastic bags out of the ocean,off the streets and making the earth. If every person just in my city alone had 20 bags to do groceries with that 157 MILLION bags taken off the street. ...here were the bullshit comes in

My friend tells me its stupid because the earth isnt dying its just trying to clean out humans and we should let her. Listen im as sucidal as the next millennial but this whole "ive hurt youve so much i might as well keep going theory " is effing stupid. Than some other rude motherfucker is like "i heard you used the word "efficient" but efficient isnt better and i need you to prove this to me" A complete and mother fucking stranger decide to jump into my conversation, a white guy who if i had curse out i be the wrong, or if i as a black woman jump into his conversation - I be dead. I geniuely appreciate critique but it essentially for lols.

The rest of my dad went relatively ok.i had at a friends house's until it was late enough to return to my father. I pick up food from 7/11 which is a chain of 24/7 convenience store for those of you who are unfamiliar .

Because of a deal i end up buying two more taiquitos and gave the extra to a guy at the front who was begging for. The guy literally follows me out telling me he appreciates me and how nice i am and follows me for two blocks at midnight.

"Do you smoke" he ask and i promptly say no because i dont even though i have a lighter for pocket altar essentials. But i just gave you food...you had the AUDACITY to ask me for more? If i had that would you also stalked me for money too?

I get "home " and to my suprise my father bought be chinese...but wait....something doesnt add up....my father doesnt get his governent check til the 3 of every month...its the 1st. My dad claim he had no money that why he borrow and spend 50....where is this money from unless he

A. Stole it from me

B. Hoarded it

C. A and B

.....

At this point im kind of jaded. I wish i had the audacity of the guy at the cafe to feel entitled to people private conversation, or the entitlement of the guy at the gas station who glare at me as if i was hoarding cigarettes that he deserve or the unaccounablity of one of my guy friends whi after i told him there a great chance I could be murder or r#pe ask me "well why did you date him anyway" and not " why doesn't he know better to leave? "

.....ive decided im gonna move out on own secretly. Unfortunately im tied to my father eternally and when I have better funds ill HAVE to come back for him. My ex has 2000usd half which is mine im.never getting back he gets a month and whatever happens happens if he has to move in with his best friend so be it .

Ive given up on a healthy relationship with a guy. Soceity will tell me im scared , fetishize my fear for not wanting a guy and tell me i let a man destroy my desire for romance and he only did what i allowed but -

If this is how men are. If this is what soceity demands ill tolerate ....Shrug than im just not a man loving woman and thats ok with me.

Honestly as a black woman in America, legal matters wint resolve this and I wont get a gun but ill try my best to used worldly sense and muster a good protection by the time I am actually able to leave. Sorry that was so much and thanks for reading/listening

#hrdpersonal

[femgayprivilege]

someone in the notes of a quote from 'why does he do that?' asked what qualifications 'this woman' has, in reference to lundy bancroft. who is a man. who has specialized in counseling abusive men for more than twenty years. lundy is a weird enough name to effectively be gender neutral, and this man immediately assumed that he was a woman because the quote was talking about how men from all different backgrounds and personalities can be abusers.

now i may be wrong, because i'm a man and not a woman, but i think that many sexists assume that no man could ever call them out for abusive or sexist behavior? which of course is a sexist belief in itself becausse it assumes that misogyny is not a big enough problem for men to care about it, or that abuse is a problem that only women think is important.

it's really important to me personally that i, and other men, work to maintain a culture of zero tolerance for misogyny. from what i've seen, men do listen to me more simply because i'm also a man... so i'm going to try my best to change things! let's work for a better future, boys!

let me know if i messed anything up in this post! i'm always looking to improve!

(sorry if this was a bit rambly, i'm more just writing down my thoughts than coming up with a comprehensive thesis)

#i'm pretty tired right now so my writing style is very simplified #but i hope it's still comprehensive! #constructive criticism is welcome on my writing as well!