#i uhm hate this so much now

[klonoadoortophantomile]

style experimentation stuffffff

#big fan of when ppl stylize objects like this . its real good #not sure if ive entirely captured what im trying to go for yet but WHATEVER im having fun and dont hate how these have been turning out #ii clover #ii suitcase #bfdi book #inanimate insanity #bfdi #osc #scribbles #bright colors #eyestrain #id in alt text #(was originally gonna post this when i first drew these which was likeeee at the very start of the year i think #but i never got around to it. so uh all thw previous tags r kinda old #i dont feel like rewriting them. #anyways uhm. been wanting t o mess around with this kinda style for a while now #like as far back as 2019/2020 #never got around to like. commiting to stylizing characters that much though cuz uhm #idk i was lazy??

[fallenrain40]

i saw a really wild take recently... someone saying that warriors writing was bad becuase shadowsight got so much terrible stuff happen to him and like. what. warriors has some really bad writing in places (cough cough bramblestar) but making a character go through suffering IS NOT BAD WRITING. LIKE WHAT.

#anyways TBC is my favorite warriors series so i uh in general really hate seeing any criticism of it #i freaking LOVE ghosts and magic and all that fun jazz #it's so spooky i love it so much #and it's extra fun to throw at the people who are all “warrior cats shuldnnt have magic >>:((((” #like uhm. this silly kitty cat book series that has LITERAL DEAD SPEAKING CATS. already has magic sweetie. #ah okay im done being mean.... for now. #warrior cats #wc #tbc #shadowsight

[i08wony]

read tags (not quitting, js a vent)

Tw: bullying nd mentions of sewer side

#❤︎ ― 𝓘ssy's 𝓛ittle 𝓣alks #so uhm #im crying rn #idk what to do #my mental health is litterally a joke right now #i hate school so much #its so draining #and i might even go as far as kms bc of it #you might think im being dramatic #but the amount of bullying i go through is quite litterally insane #i get called a nerd for wearing glasses #but like its not my fault that diabetes is actively destorying my eyesight is it #i get made fun of for my lastname and i get called lesbian js bc of it #im starting to hate life so much #it hurts to live and not tell anyone about this problem #thank you for reading 💞

[sparkdoesart]

Trying this again heh...

Ryan Min and Jesse playin a few songs!

For context, this is from my infinity train au! Should i post more of them here? Would you guys like to see that?

+some more fun stuff

#oughhh i love drawing min #its so much easier suddenly #also for the doodles at the bottom- #the first one is a car idea my friend gave me to use #the room is made of whiteboards and you have to solve like a riddle or question on the whiteboards #but uhm unfortunately our little trio here barely knows basic math #NOW THE SECOND ONE!! #ohhhh my gosh #i loveee drawing a character using a bowstaff #i dont even need a reference! #because im the reference!! #its so fun #idea for min having a bowstaff was given to me by the smartest person ever btw (my irl friend) #aughhh #also important note #jesse is having ryan sing songs he had downloaded on his phone in the main art #and theyre totally listening to lovejoy #ive decided #also character interactions my love<33 #i think min and simon would hate each other<33 #infinity train #ryan akagi #min gi park #jesse cosay #simon laurent #my art #my engineers au

[moreespressoformydepresso]

You know, sometimes I like a character for deep reasons like narrative relevance, symbolism, their arc throughout a story, the greater impact they have…

And sometimes I like them because their name is pretty and I like typing it out.

#usually it’s a bit of both but that’s less funny #myles the mandalorian #treech #tbosas treech #anthony tremaine #tbosas mizzen #why do I like Anthony? well he’s got lots of potential for interesting stories and and implications for the wider themes of Descendants #but also #his name’s pretty #why do I like Myles from Star Wars? well he’s one of the few pieces of Jango’s life before grief destroyed him #his death made Jango go full murder mode so lots of stuff to explore there and the True Mandalorians are super interesting #but also Myles is in my top 5 boy names and blue is my favorite color #Treech… uhm no actually I tricked myself into liking his name #at first I hated it but I love him so much that I also like his name now #what’s wrong with me #I like Mizzen for his name

[fakestage]

I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.

#uhm well anyway I hope everyone finds people and a place where they feel safe and loved #I'm feeling really emotional sorryy #basically. tldr; found the problem! trying to get better now through loving myself instead of hating myself #its been really hard. its going to be really hard. I feel like ive barely made any progress #I wish I had a therapist to talk about this stuff with. but I dont. #btw the uh root problem: finding out my mother was actually hugely abusive & I already knew my dad was #so basically ive been having to confront the fact that Ive been living a lie and my mother is actually deeply terrible as much as my dad #and my parents should have never had children & ive never had one single decent adult in my life #so basically uhm yea lol. I was born into dysfunction. I was never going to turn oit normal or okay. #so its been hard to like. figure all that out alone. learning I have ptsd and extreme ocd + dissociation because of them hasnt been easy #its made me so deeply miserable because I guess I assumed what my mom was doing to us was normal this whole time? #because I thought no. surely not. surely i cant have TWO terrible parents. I need at least 1 good one right? #but yea no actually every adult has hurt me in some way. and I was never going to turn out alright because #I am the king of obsessing and cycling over everything in my life #Im like. not okay right now but not being im in danger just because I wish I had someone to talk to about all this. #I just need to learn to drive so I can get out of here. I need to get out like #all these realizations have been really really heavy on me and ive been having trouble sleeping #Its been hard to process and I dont really know where to go from here. I guess I cant properly heal and grow until I move out? #idk this has been really long im so sorry. #vent #tw vent #tws -> #abuse ment #parents ment #<- in tags

[azol-otl]

Not Reverse Robins or Scrambled Birds but a secret third thing: A Step to the Left.

Not  Dick > Jason > Tim > Steph > Damian, 

but Jason > Tim > Steph > Damian > Dick*.

But not only them. Every sidekick with a legacy name gets shifted one spot. (No I’m not counting the Golden Age because I’m not combing through that ).

This means that Jason’s Titans team is him, Mia (Speedy), Jackson (Aqualad), Cassie (Wonder Girl), and Bart (Impulse but y’know he was KF II in the comics).

The NTT team including Starfire, Changeling, Raven, and Cyborg stays the same since they’re the only ones with those names. Cass gets lumped in here because Jason actually wants to do college/is becoming disillusioned about cape life and the idea of Kori learning Cass's body language is too good to pass up.

Tim gets one (1) cape friend (because Jason only got one) and it’s Zachary Zatara because it has to be a d-lister who deals with that disaster Teen Titans era.

Stephanie gets Jon (Superboy), Yara (Wonder Girl II now), and Irey (Because guess what it’s Impulse on the team and not KF which means we get Impulse II). Secret, Cissie, Anita, Slobo etc. all stay the same.

Damian doesn’t get anyone until he becomes Batgirl.

Duke literally gets Damian’s exact canon team but it’s Kon instead of Jon and probably won’t end with them committing war crimes.

If the character in that placement dies in canon then the new character in that placement also dies (i.e. Jason dies so Tim will die/ Kon dies so Jon will die).

But there will be changes because these are different characters so not all of them would react the same.

For example, Jason and Cass are the first Robin and Batgirl, but Cass becomes Nightwing while Jason becomes Oracle because I feel like Jason generally fits Barbara’s character better than Cass does (which is a fucking shame because Oracle being someone named Cassandra should be a no brainer but yeah).

 Or how Barbara should be Batgirl number three, but it’s actually Damian because Cass would see their similarities between them and offer him Batgirl (which he refuses at first but after his disastrous run as Robin he sees how Batgirl would fit his strengths better).

 Also I refuse to believe that Jason and Cass would let Dick out as Robin so young so he’s benched until later and his place is taken up by Duke and instead of Leviathan it’s Gnomon.

#I actually have a lot of thoughts about this but I didn't want to word vomit it all up like I normally do #No lie Damian becoming Batgirl III was not planned but because it started off with Cass it honestly felt right #So now him and Stephanie parallel each other so much more than I planned with the whole 3 identities cycle of Original > R > BG> OG #Also Robins 1 3 and 5 (the ones who were actually focused on for a time) are all Gotham natives with strong ties to the people #So that feels right #Also also Mia and Jason both being on the same team and having similar traumas while comics were finally starting to tackle these things #Tim has to deal with all the shit Jason did including starting off as a Blonde Jason clone (hey Timmy Todd) #Being victim blamed for his death for nearly 20 years and brought back as a villain #Then left with writers who hate him and made him ugly *and* stupid #then left with Lobdell and having the fans of his teammates blame him and his fans for things that they had no control over #other notes I didn't put in include Cass's cover is that she's Jason's cousin via Willis who was adopted and it turns out to be true #Stephanie 'Ambiguously Gay' Brown with her team full of Women who can crush her like a bug #Cass 'Are you sure she's straight' Wayne and her Gal Pal Koriand'r #Jason and Bart's wild 50 years where they surprise everyone including the writers and editors #since none of their love interests stuck but the chemistry they had with each other was off the charts #so their friendship read more as a slow-burn annoyances to friends to lovers that was totally on purpose guys and became canon p52 #like right before the reboot because the writer was like "Fuck it we're rebooting anyways! #if you feel like it's unfair that Tim and Damian gets no friends remember that I didn't shift teams at all only the people in them #so they get dealt Jason and Stephanie's canon hands #Don't come at me with 'uhm Robin is DICK'S nam'e' that retcon happened 50 years after the character #I can do the exact same with any character #great another essay in the tags #azol's posts

[peapod20001]

In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3

#vent #oho five hours babeeee hungry AND hot AND depressed?? what is this?? my birthday? #hahaha yeaap. it’s cool it’s cool I’m chillin #just vibin. head feels. weird. but I don’t entirely know what up with that it could be a few things if I’m being honest lol #hmmgf when was the last time I just. laid here this often? #laid? layd? layed?? whatever lol #hmm I found a fuckin uhh. vent diagram thing that showed BPD ASHD and Autism and their specific traits and overlaps #is uh. uhm. too close!! like sir!! who gave you!! permission!!!! #oofy anyways uhmmmmmm. realized that I!! don’t interact with people!! as much as I did when I was younger!! #like I had my classmates. my friends. my family. the ppl on tumblr and stuff. yknow #I was talking to someone and shit like!! every day!! for multiple hours!! a day!!!! #now it’s like. wow boy howdy. what are the chances I y’all for more than an hour with LITERALLY ANYONE today :) #uhhghgh gross ew ew nasty. I totally. don’t care that I’m not getting my enrichment #I’ll jus read tags on my art and look through old messages in place of actually. talking to anyone #mmm. conversations hard. hate talking about myself. don’t know anything besides myself. hate certain topics (but won’t say anything bout it) #anndd yeaa!! I don’t understand ppl and their motives and why they like me specifically. I put on my best personality for youu #I’m playing off of you and mirroring how you act so you’ll be ok with me <3 but that’s ok I suppose. I don’t think anyone here is out for my #guys so I’m doing good at least somewhat lol. ahmm. you ever not care about being something special to someone else. and then they kindaa. #squash that idea? and in theory you shouldn’t care since you didn’t want it in the first place but. them saying it hits? different? like oou #oh and question I don’t expect anyone to answer. you ever cried cus. someone aid you were their friend? best friend specifically? idk man #2 ppl have said I’m their best friend an I had to literally force myself not to get emotional at the first one and then I legitimately cried #with the second one LMAO like. how ridiculous is that yea? yeah #it’s. yeah. I’ve called ppl my bffs or whatever before but. it’s different when someone says it to you first ig. before I think they only #gave me the label out of convenience. not that we weren’t actually friends (at least I hope we were DHHDV) but. idk!! I literally yearned #for like!! basic shiittt!! I got put in time out like beginning of kindergarten cus I cried over my 1st best friend partnering with a new #girl instead of me!!! 😭 woof. that was the ONLY time I ever cried in public EVER. didn’t matter how many time I got hurt physically or #emotionally or how stressed I got or how confused or embarrassed and humiliated I was!! I’m NEVER letting people look at me like I’m stupid #for caring EVER. AGAIN. woof ok getting off the rails here I was like at least sort of ok when I started writing this but now I’m very much #NOT lololol so uhhhhhhhhhhh. anyways. let you get back to scrolling or swiping or whatever. I’ll be finnee totally. just. here

[orcelito]

Also the fact that it's 4/20. The holiday I "observe" (typically by making jokes) despite not being a weed smoker. And I spent all of today filled with dread, actively miserable, actively distraught, and then vaguely dissatisfied/depressed

😊✌😋 happy 4/20 to a certain dead bastard in particular

#speculation nation #negative/ #ok geeze ive made enough allusions to it and i kinda want ppl to know exactly why i got so freaked out by it today #uhm. preemptive trigger tag. it's relevant. #suicide ment/ #anyways an employee's step dad killed himself with a gun in front of her late last night. like literally right next to her apparently. #and the other employee was on the phone as it happened & saw the scene after the fact when she picked up the first employee #they were both so distraught & obviously traumatized. scared of losing their jobs if they didnt come to work #but we told them not to worry about it. we'd find a way to cover for them. it'll be fine. #and i hold true to that. no way im forcing them to work after dealing with that. #privately though im distraught with sympathy for these poor girls. it hurt my heart so much to hear them talk about it #and then there's the entire topic of suicide. the image in my head. the empathy for what these girls went through #the first girl. shes only 17. she apparently hated this man. and it's no wonder why. #im filled with so much anger for what he did to her. killing himself would be traumatizing regardless #but to do it RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER? to the point where she apparently had burns from the gunfire????? #im angry. im livid. these are my girls and they went through something no one ever should have to. so young too... #and. yeah that's why im so fucked up right now #the general stress of my life is not helping lol

[narutomaki]

watched a video where the author said (not exactly) "and (x) number of people will die today if I felt as much for them as I did over losing a family member I wouldn't be able to function"

and was briefly and momentarily (thank god) seized with the gut wrenching pain of thinking about everyone around the world who died ever lol.

any way.

#the main point of the video was to allow despite this let yourself be comlassionate to others pain #and believe and listen to them and CARE when they speak to you #but. uhm. hm. well. my brain decided to breifly shut down my conciousness with greif #often times i cry abouy people who have loved ones the lost #and about people who die alone and hated by the people who quote should endquote care #and about the people who are murdered. about the bodies that are harmed after. the people who are hurt before. #one time i threw up because i felt so much pain and care for a woman who was murdered like. over 50 years ago i think. that #for like. 4 years. i couldnt look at a type of TREE. #I THINK. PERHAPS. I HAVE ISSUES JANICE. #any way. #i am actually sick rn with some sorta cold (not covid we teste neg at the peak of our symptoms) #so i have a looooot of time to think about pain. any way. babes. #im not even feeling that bad right now im just like. when yhis next comes how the fuck do i cope with it. #i used to blame myself for wars happening and people dying in the news. i used to make myself depressed so #'less people would be sad today because im taking up the sadness' #i. well. WELL. #sits here #man. #edit; sorry this is very disrespectful she was murdered in 1999. #and the tree was the one i was standing next to when i read about it not anythifn to do with the case #well. as far as i remember. #i checked the date bcus i felt bad but oh boy and i not looking into anymore detail baby we do NOT need THAT spiral right nlw #i was 3 there was nothing i could have done. oh my god. some #hep. come distaract me and or put me to sleep

[beaniebabs]

am i Sensitive or are people just mean shflajgksn

#OWHAFSKFJSKFJ #i brought up wanting to bake something to my mom and she was like #her texts verbatim: #“Like what?? Lazy ass 😂😂😂” #it’s a Joke or whatever but i also very much hate jokes like that bc. they don’t feel like jokes and they also aren’t jokes KAHFKAJFK #idk. i bring up wanting to try something and she’s like uhm actually you won’t do that <3 #and then i end up not doing it bc i got shamed out of it and she thinks it proves her right #idk i’m not excited about baking anything anymore <3 #hrrngh. i really wish i had Excited and Supportive parents i feel like i could’ve accomplished so much more #i’m not a GENIUS in any capacity but i’m decently smart and. idk. if i got the encouragement i needed from them i could’ve done a lot more #i know it’s up to me now because i’m an Adult but also. it’s hard to come back from not great formative years

[nagitoedit]

uhm

#also i need to put it somehwere because im still scared and angry and shaking and nauseous but i think i have realized i have #a really weird stupid trauma thats probbaly idnt at all and that it is why im so weird about . that #and realizing that for years now its been like ive been completely unintentionally unknowingly self harming without even realizing #because it never registered as that just as an accident or regret and would leave me feeling nauseous and gross and just this #inexplicable but strong Bad Feeling like #everything was bad and realizing that ive thought this whole time i dontreally have intrusive thoughts but i do but theyre just of #this one very very specific topic and its upsetting its so upsetting it disgusts me so much #but uhm whatever i guess. i guess i should ask my counselor about it because oh god this is bad #discovering this like over a decade deep rooted trauma it feels like discovering i have like a horrible instense lethal illness #thats been festering for over a decade #but it makes so much sense like something that id been so sensitive and weird about for a decade for no apparent reason but #like the reason is a huge glaring light but i just never realized #and i dont even know if what set me off is real if i just imagined it or something i just feel out of it i feel so bad and i kindof hate my #myself i just dont knwowhat to do #i dont know how . to bring it up to fix it because i feel so scared and ashamed aout it

[astrxealis]

i really want to make gifs of fuuta's 2nd trial mv while it's still really new. idk if i should post them if ever though... <- has never posted any of my edits of any sort and gifs. even icons

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚ #nah i only have like. access to canva for paid. and it's education and not even pro LMAO ty to school for providing canva education <3 #yeah but i only really use canva and photopea and take a fucking long time doing anything related to editing #it's fun and a great way to pass time esp bcs i take a long time but for time efficiency... not really <//3 #i'll do my homework first and then ya ^___^ #i want photoshop but if you get me i don't want to YEAH. not only do i hate yeah i also don't like paying often #like ofc i do for what i need but i. barely spend my money (it helps knowing that idk how much money i even have) #idk maybe it sounds good like 'yo you don't waste money' but also it sucks idk how to handle money at all and stuff #i rmbr being so excited planning for getting ffxiv. laying out the costs and all. LMFAO ya i only really pay for xiv sub and that's it #cash shop i only have a few stuff bcs i've been there for old events and my friend (very generous. big brother guy) gifted us stuff #fuuta's voice is so good. man i keep getting distracted this went from editing to money and then ffxiv and then fuuta #UHM ANYWAYS...... anyways............. yeah i just do really simple edits. just literally changing the color and all #but you see i often like things most when it comes from me. or my friends. or if it is personalized #so i don't like taking random things! idk the process feels best when it comes from me but i also love stuff that have heart in it #and if it's yk. oh. this is for me. ig i'm just used to mostly having to do things for myself bcs i don't get it often from others </3 #braindead. it is 1 pm. i will finish my homework (soon!) #i love all milgram characters. i was a bit yk to muu and kotoko but i think i understand kotoko better after studying fuuta more #and i get now ^^ it's a bit hypocritical to vote her innocent and fuuta guilty but at the same time it depends on what you value #and also did people really not expect her to. do that. hello. i saw that coming from a mile away but yeah you can't predict the future #so makes sense too! tbh im a fuuta innocent guy but i do believe guilty first trial is best but also wow the effects of guilty 1st trial #were yeah. but taste of his own medicine (real!) i just hope the others get that too. in time. #specifically muu and kotoko bcs though i love them they still iff me a bit (is that even a word) #tbh my feelings on milgram characters are complicated but i think i'm complicating it too ngl. #obsessed with mikoto though. his voice!!! his va slaying as always #tbh w kotoko it's mostly that i think she's getting ahead of herself. in a way. i think that's how to say it but i'm not sure #with muu. i think i get her but it's more of fuuta for me and i think that's why yeah? but i like muu she was one of the first that #caught my eye from b4 i watched the mvs and all!! i think it might be that she reminds me a tiny bit of myself #but in a way i'd rather not admit or something i don't like about myself that makes me like her less. curious #hi um i wrote a lot more tags but they stopped after 30 oops. i took screenshots tho <3 anyways this is a 20 minutes post BYE

[littlegoldfinchh]

Socializing with the people i hang out with in uni was the most painful 30 minutes of my life

#they are not simply homophobes they're like. the worst kind #so yeah uhm. i'll try to avoid them now this made me so fucking uncomfortable #apparently there's a gay guy in our school and they were talking shit about him and gay people and i TRIED to fucking leave but i couldn't #and idk i should have said something but when you're surrounded by three massive homophobes it's not that easy to talk back i guess? #i still feel like a failure tho i should have said something #and turns out they all went to religious highschools as well and. well it's not surprising #i feel insanely guilty #and disgusted in general #and one of the dudes saw that i was getting uncomfortable so he told me the most misogynistic joke?? to make me feel better???? or idk??? #anyway this is why i don't leave my fucking place i hate this school so much #and yeah i once again proved that im a weak little bitch who can't stand up for people lol #rambling

[rosicheeks]

Oh it's the prettiest little Angel I ever did see! I hope that you are being a good girl tonight Rosie and not having filthy thoughts x

🫣

#uhm dear anon #I’m *always* a good girl #that is my personality #good girl and princess 😇 #also uhm that first sentence made me smile so much #shush you 🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰 #right now??? #I’m painting and watching sing lmao #so no I’m not having any dirty thoughts #but I’m sure if I stay on here long enough that’ll change #ngl right now????? #i really want super sweet stuff #obviously I want someone to use me like their fleshlight #but I really want to look into the eyes of someone while they make love to me #i want to hear them moan my name in my ear #i want us to laugh and be silly #and then the next second I’m pinned underneath them and they’re choking me #bahhhhhhh #I’m in a lovey dovey mood ngl #((I also really hate having a crush ok that’s all) #cause whenever I’m in these moods I always think of them #like bro they aren’t even thinking about me #why the fuck are they in my daydreams #ok wow #I’m getting distracted lmao #ask #anon