#i use thinking about him as a coping mechanism | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

x-liv25-jamieswife · 3 days

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For the release of ttpd, can a girl get some sad Grayson hcs 😔✊ <3

sad grayson head canons

of course<3. i eat up sad tig hcs so i might make some for the rest of the brothers and avery (probably will). hope you like them! this one is going to be kinda dark (i like making my favorite tig characters suffer) so trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. take care of yourselves, and try to talk to someone if you can. as someone who's been through a lot of shit last year, i can promise you things, at some point, start looking up (this might be corny, but i felt the need to say it) (i may be projecting in some of these cause i love making myself see myself in my fav characters if that makes sense).

grayson used to go out (like to the park or smth) and watch all of the kids playing with each other wishing he could be like them.

sometimes he gets so self-destructive he doesn't eat or drink water. he just lies in bed wishing he could magically die.

grayson heard the prochecy, the black dog, loml, and down bad from ttpd for the first time and started sobbing uncontrollably (so many other songs but yk, im not gonna write all of them down)

when he gets in those self destructive moods, he tends to piss people off/make people sad on purpose so that they'll get made and leave him (he secretly wishes that someone can see through all of his pain and be there for him)

very dark so trigger warning (even though i gave one at the beginning. you can never be too sure), grayson used to have scars on his ribs bc he would hurt himself. he never cut deep enough for it to actually scar permanently bc he 'has an image to uphold' according to tobias.

although swimming is a coping mechanism, it's also a form of self-harm for him sometimes. he swims until he can't feel his legs anymore, and sticks his head underwater for extended periods of time until he feels like he's about to drown.

i actually saw this in a conan gray interview, but he used to cross the street without looking left and right hoping a car would hit him.

he hears emily's voice in his head more often than he lets on. whenever he hears her voice, he'll press his nails so hard into his palms, they start to bleed.

he somehow managed to get his hands on some anti-depressant behind tobias' back and started taking them, but, sometimes, when he was especially suicidal, he would try to overdose on the pills. it never worked.

he's convinced himself that he deserves the pain he causes himself/the people cause him.

tobias knew about his unhealthy coping mechanisms but didn't do shit to help him bc didn't want him to 'soften up' making grayson think his grandfather thought he deserved the pain.

grayson will purposely make himself stay awake for days on end bc he doesn't think he deserves to get sleep sometimes (he needs to work. in his head, everything will go to shit if he doesn't)

sometimes he'll go swing on this swing they have in blackwood forest to feel like a kid again (it sometimes works)

he has this stuffed teddy bear nash gave him when he was a baby that he sometimes sleeps with when he feels alone (even though he'd grown now).

this one is extremely dark, probably the darkest one yet so tw for suicide attempt(ish its not really one).......... at the age of fifteen, he actually bought pills to overdose on and set a date (the 14th of may (really random)). he was going to off himself that day but didn't end up doing it bc his brothers dragged him out to play chess (idk, anything works). he said he'd do it some other day but never go to it. every year, on that day, he celebrates not offing himself bc he wouldn't have met the people he met and wouldn't have gotten to feel the happiness he now feels if he had.

he's convinced himself he isn't worthy of love (this one also applies to jamie, a lot of these actually do in my opinion, they're quite similar when you think about it. probably will make a post about this)

when he was a baby, he'd imagine his stuffed teddy was actually his mom when he felt the need to be held by a parental figure. it almost never worked, but he would always try again hoping it would magically start working.

he has panic attacks on a regular basis. ones where he starts pulling at his hair and stuff. he thinks he's going crazy after these, but avery reassures him he isn't (or nash, but i like the idea of avery being there for him as a friend/sister figure)

when he was younger, he used to ask people if they wanted to come to his house and play with him. they said yes but only bc he was rich. the second they'd step foot into his house, they'd leave him and start exploring.

this sort of goes with the hc i made that he denies himself food and stuff, but, when he gets cold at night and wants to lower the temperature, he'll force himself to stay in bed and take the blankets off to let himself suffer.

he secretly wishes people weren't so scared of him bc then he might have friends.

sometimes, he starts feeling so numb with everything he goes back to the cliff where emily died just to feel smth.

he's such a perfectionist he would cry whenever he got lower than a 90% at school.

it might not look like it, but he really cares about people's opinions of him and will do everything in his power to 'fix' what these people think is wrong with him.

whenever he gets mad at the world or at himself, he'll go to one of those places where you smash and break everything. when he's done, he makes himself sit in the mess and look at all of the destruction he caused (he sees this as him destroying everything in his life (like his relationships, etc))

to end on a brighter note, here's a happy grayson hc :)

when he was younger and wanted smth, he would jump with his hands clasped together begging for it with the cutest puppy eyes ever (i find this one really adorable and can literally picture it in my head).

not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, there are resources you can use if you ever need help. if you can, try to get a therapist, and, if you can't, talk to a friend/family member or call a helpline. things can get better. sending everyone lots of love.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne

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sleepingontheclouds · 2 days

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I’ve been getting more and more attached to Jason’s character so please indulge me. I will be having to section these off cause I’m gonna be talking about two pieces of media </3

Titans

I’m watching season three of Titans right now and, it’s a wonder. There’s a few aspects that bother me but overall I’m in love so far.

The season makes a bold choice by literally opening on Jason- a hero- doing drugs. Sure in season two it mentions Hank doing drugs because of Hawk and it does show him in the act of snorting a substance, but the difference is, he’s an adult. Hank is a thirty something year old man who has probably most likely killed people, Jason isn’t.

Yes, Jason is violent. Yes, he did assault police officers, but he never killed anyone. Jason may legally be an adult but he still acts like a teenager because he is one. He’s a traumatized teen having to deal with the fact that he’s repressing so much from everyone he loves. He never gets an outlet to discuss what’s happened to him with people he trusts.

A great example of this is when he’s about to jump off the the Titans tower in season two. He tries talking to Dick, he says how he feels and he try’s expressing himself, he tries so hard to get his brother figure to understand what he’s going through. What does Dick do? He flips it around and unintentionally makes it about himself.

The closest we get to him actually opening up is when he starts trusting Rose, telling her about his upbringing and starting to get comfortable with her, comfortable loving her. Then she reveals that she only met him because she was trying to manipulate him.

The impact of him turning to drugs hits so much harder. He’s just scared, he turns to anything he can to help. It’s so much deeper when it’s shown that the drug he takes isn’t heroine or coke or anything like that. It’s a drug that stops fear.

He literally felt so weak that he took drugs to repress his emotions to the point where he felt nothing, he felt nothing and thought he was better because of it. There’s no doubt that at this point in the story he’s addicted. Jason started using before he died and the madman who gave him the drugs started using them to manipulate him. I’m really interested in where the story is gonna go with it, I really hope it actually dives into withdrawal and how Jason would cope with everything going on around him without the help of drugs.

Comics/Animation

Overall with every piece of media I see regarding Jason and the batfam, it never really manages to depict Bruce and Jason’s relationship accurately, one of the good ones was that single episode of Titans. (in my opinion).

Me personally, I see Bruce and Jason’s relationship in a very complicated light.

When he first gets adopted, Jason views Bruce as a nurturing figure. He sees him like every child sees their parents, perfect. It’s like he can do no wrong. He’s Batman! And he made Jason Robin! It’s a perfect opportunity, he was being helped, he finally had a dad, one that loved him.

Before Jason died, he still very much idolized Bruce but not to the point of thinking he was perfect. He knew Bruce wasn’t perfect, he just couldn’t bring himself to actually say it. Jason couldn’t face the fact that Batman didn’t need a Robin, he didn’t accept that he could still be Bruce’s son without being Robin.

After he died and came back, there was resentment. He hated Bruce, despised him with every fiber of his being. Depending on what canon you’re watching/reading, there’s different reasons for why. Either Jason is mad that Bruce took Robin away from him before he died, effectively taking away his only coping mechanism, therefore resulting in his death. Or, he hates Bruce for not killing Joker. His father didn’t avenge him, he could care less about Batman having an obligation to avenge Robin as his sidekick—fuck Robin. He cares that Bruce, as a father, didn’t kill the Joker to avenge his son. He let his sons killer roam free, putting the psycho in Arkham won’t do anything. Or or, he holds resentment that Bruce couldn’t save him. He couldn’t save his sidekick, his son, his Robin. He failed.

No matter what happens between the duo, Jason always holds self loathing in his heart because of Bruce.

Across all forms of media, he always develops the thought that Bruce hates him. He always thinks that he’s the ‘least favorite/most hated child’ even though it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Bruce loves him, Jason is undoubtedly the favorite child.

(Sneaking a Titans reference in here—) The fact of Bruce caring for Jason more than his other children, (cough cough DICK) is solidified when he takes the Robin mantle away from Jason. He’s trying to protect his son in a way he thinks is best. He saw and heard what being Robin did to Dick, he doesn’t want to put Jason through that. Even the line where Bruce says “I don’t want to make the same mistakes.” Jason perceives it as Bruce calling him a mistake. He lashes out and gets angry because he thinks that he’s being called a mistake. It’s not true, the sentence itself with the context of the episode and the episode before show that it’s not true. Bruce is calling Dick his mistake, not Jason.

Throughout everything, Jason sees anything negative that Bruce says or does as a direct attack on him, when he’s the only one Bruce actually tried to parent. Dick was treated like a weapon. Jason, as a child.

#jason todd #dc robin #bruce and jason #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #batfam #jason and bruce #daddy issues #dc comics #dc titans #titans 2018 #so much violence #tw drugs #drug usage

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punkeropercyjackson · 2 days

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Forget Spiderman Percy,what about Spiderpunk Percy?Who choose his name because he's crustpunk but also because she's transfem bigender and Spiderman and Spiderwoman were already taken by Nico and Hazel and they're a Spider trio with Percy being 22,Nico 17 and Hazel 16 and having been the Spidersiblings of Earth 27 for 4 years by Atsv.Sally adopted Nico and Hazel in their toddler years but died under mysterious circumstances when Percy was 12 and he had to resort to self-parentification since Smelly Gabe was their 'guardian' and he took the brunt of the abuse on purpose so his little siblings could be safer.Hazel was bitten first so she doned the Spiderwoman mantle that'd been lost with Sally's death because she was the first 27 Spiderwoman but kept it a secret from her kids for protection,Nico gets bitten next and joins her as Spiderman and finally Percy is bitten too while dealing with radioactive sludge during eco-activism he was participating in

He's got a Gwen Stacy variant too and they're afrolatina like him and turn out to be an Anomaly by turning into Ghostspider a good deal into the Spidersiblings run and when they join Spider Society,obviously he instantly hits it off with Hobie and they clown on Miguel and have a lot of the same interests so they do them together often and Hobie's friends with Nico and Hazel too,being especially close to Hazel because he thinks she's the most adorable thing ever and loving to annoy Nico's lil black emo ass.Percy's also a dad in every way but having bio kids so he forces Hobie into healthy habits and coping mechanisms because realistically he's gotta have a lot of problems that i don't doubt like Gwen in Across will be explored in Beyond and speaking of Gwen,Percy's pretty much her new dad and mom who makes her do awful things like building up her self-worth again and spending time offduty actually having zero stakes fun and Hobie sees Percy as his eldest sister and she views the two of them in familial light back since they're a trio like she is with her legal siblings and Peter B's the only Peter Parker she dosen't think is a cornball and they hang out sometimes and have been on missions together but not nearly as many as her and Hobie who's her favorite Spiderperson tied with her homedimension ones

Percy's also got tons of street cred as Spiderpunk and as Percy Jackson-He killed his canon event cop Zeus Grace,he's defeated triple digit villains,he improved the view on Mutants by using his Spiderpersonhood to shine light on them and help out directly,he's got some narly scars from all his herowork,the Daily Bugle is highkey scared to shittalk him due to all the brutal things he's done and survived and as Percy,she works a fast food service job on the weekdays but spends her weekends attending protests and charity events and is very well known amongst other New York punks but especially in Manhattan specifically just as Percy in general and she's the go to for baby punks to learn what they need to and Nico's goth punk and Hazel's pastel goth punk because no younger siblings and pseudo-kids of hers were gonna be raised as normies or posers.She's a popular flirtation and thirst target but has never been interested in anyone except the 27 Gwen Stacy,a pastel punk like our Gwen and they grew up together

Just.......Spiderpunk Percy.Regular Percy's character relies on being a huge weirdo with no conformity capability and there's a lot of transfem subtext to her so it fits pretty well and it's why him and Hobie are almost the same!!You KNOW their basement shows go so fucking hard

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nashvillethotchicken · 1 month

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Thinking about Lestat seeing Louis’s eating patterns as a waste of his gift/himself while Armand gives Louis food that he literally can not enjoy or digest just so he has something on his stomach

#if i had to give each of louis relationship a theme loustat would be shame and loumand would be enabling #which are both really bad ways of “helping” a partner with an ed #lestats shame and anger tactics only make louis more resentful and less likely to eat #while armand having the little drinks and exotic animals and the human food dont actually deal with louis problem head on-#cus at the end of the day louis is still not eating enough #and i think they really exemplifies both of their trauma and abandonment issues #both of them came up chronically food insecure #lestat was put into the role of provider at a very early age and stayed in that role until he died/was turned #so for him rejecting what lestat gives is like rejecting lestat cus he doesnt have anything else to make him “useful”#and lestats reaction to rejection is anger and control so he tries to shame and control louis into eating more/human #while armand has been abandoned by literally everyone he loves up till this point so for him its like #ok i can make people dtay if i give them what they want and what louis wants is to not feel bad about eating and so armand does that #but it still doesnt get to the root of the issue which is louis having poor coping mechanisms for his grief and other emotions #like either way you slice it. louis is not meeting his nutritional needs. he eats drinks from one guy eats a fox or some other small animal #when he should be having like two dudes at least #and then he has human food which according to anne rice makes vampires vomit up their whole stomach content so...#louis imma send you to my therapist shes great #interview with the vampire #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #amc iwtv #lestat de lioncourt #ldpdl #iwtv 2022 #armand iwtv #armand #loumand #loustat #like armand gives louis food he cant eat just so he knows theres something in louis stomach even for a short while

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ilynpilled · 1 year

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I adore this interaction before it goes to shit because these two are truly some of the wittiest characters in these books and it is always so charming to see them interact with someone who is not only able to keep up with their snark but also indulges them

#both use humor as a coping mechanism #and all of their funny little lines are laced with a hint of sadness #like the situation is so grim atp #and it is about to get worse #and it always breaks my heart when tyrion has that moment of doubt thinking even jaime is here to kill him #but it is still such fun dialogue god i love them so much they are everything to me #i love how before the cat convo we dont know how silver tongued and witty jaime is capable of being #and then he gets going with “such sudden generosity seemed somewhat suspect.” like alliteration all around he can be very sharp #tyrion lannister #jaime lannister #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls

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p2ii · 4 months

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forgot to post abt this panel but god it absolutely breaks my heart. I love when kaworu's 'ethereal easy-going' composure is broken through and we get scarce bits of the lonely boy unacclimate to being treated like a person underneath.

#his expression in the bottom left panel 😭#can't believe there was such a goldmine of kaworu context right under our noses since 2007 and I didn't know #been re-reading the ep24 drafts like an animal instead :')#CA is sooo good #also just wanna clarify. I don't think his etheral poetry talk thing is a false persona persay. it's just how he as an extremely isolated #individual who is aware of how alien his existence is compared to his peers- has learned to communicate #but despite how attuned he is to the universe and others he is also a very hurt individual who doesn't see the purpose of hurting about it #in the first place. choosing rather to fixate on the hurt/general lives of the people around him #as a coping mechanism perhaps but moreso curiosity. a source of catharsis even? self recognition through other?#idk #either way I know he will be remembering that xp #psii.txt #campus apocalypse #kaworu nagisa #maybe kaworu is more like us Tumblr girlies than I realised. shinji is his blorbo who he is also in love w X)c

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tideoftrash · 21 days

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had a big day at work so called my dad for a chat only to find out he’s having a breakdown, probably divorcing my mum, trying to sell our childhood home, and wants me to drive into the desert with him for a month. just………. yeah. okay

#me and dad used to have a really complicated relationship and now i’m like oh you’re me but with more trauma #and no real support or healthy coping mechanisms #so i love him very much and that helps i think #but GOD i’m so fucking sad about this

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shadowedvales · 8 days

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so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#THINKING THOUGHTS. i have had this concept in mind for a while but i THINK i’ve fleshed it out properly now.#will write this up properly one day (never).#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon #he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was #and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her #regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and #mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following #the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have #killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and #was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3 #idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.

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minscofrashemen · 2 months

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Putting Wyll in autism diagnosis

#elyan bleats #I say this as someone who recognizes the fact he likely hasnt really learned 'proper' coping mechanisms to deal with overstimulation #theres other things but rn Im thinking about the way he self exiles both out of shame and a form of overstimulation from the changes on him #he is feeling new things and is strugglign with realizing them and its not okay #he hasnt dealt with it to this extent before and he has no idea how to deal with it other than isolating or helping others (also dancing)#he uses dancing and fighting/moving in that way as a stim #ik ppl have said this before but he rlly resonates with me at this point because of it #I can elaborate on it. but. this is more a personal post

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in-tua-deep · 8 months

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Had a dream where I was back in high school in a math class and my teacher was just. Incredibly disrespectful about my identity/pronouns. So I swapped to the other math class section with a different teacher

And new teacher didn’t use my pronouns either, but it still felt better. And then someone broke my desk. And someone asked me if I made the right choice swapping, because neither teacher used my pronouns, right? And I just had this moment of such clarity, of, “yeah, he doesn’t use my pronouns. He doesn’t always use the right name. But you know what? He’s angry someone broke my desk, and I know that if he finds out who it was, they would be in trouble. And it wouldn’t be like that with the other teacher.”

Just. Utter clarity of the definition between someone who doesn’t understand pronouns but still sees me as a person deserving of safety vs. someone who maliciously doesn’t use my pronouns as a way to communicate disrespect and thinks that means I don’t deserve to be safe

#my dreams #rip to my high school history teacher who got cast as the villain #but also neither of these teachers were math teachers #it was my highschool history teacher and my high school art teacher?#very out of character for my history teacher. but honestly pretty in character for the art one #do I think my old art teacher would have used my pronouns? no #do I think he would have bitten then head off of someone who was messing with me? yes absolutely #terrifying man. used art as a coping mechanism for his war experience. 10/10 #I think this dream is a reaction to my new job actually #sat down and had a very emotional but helpful conversation with my director about pronouns and use of them with clients #my supervisor is a queer elder who is confused but supportive #told me that if non-binary were as known as it is today back then supervisor might also identify with it #but supervisor is apparently too old to come out *again*#which what a mood #man being non-binary is fucking hard #nothing but respect for my fellow they/thems and neo-pronoun users this shit is EXHAUSTING #also shoutout to the dream bit where bad teacher was like ‘haha and is that an apple’ when I was holding a banana #and I just fully ignored him. didn’t even acknowledge the ‘joke’#an iconic move if I don’t say so myself

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phddyke · 9 months

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Also though? Serious props to Helluva Boss for saying there’s nothing wrong with partying or being slutty—BUT it can also be used as a self-harm method if you’re drinking and making out with four people at once as a shitty coping mechanism!!

#this about queen bee’s not unhappy campers #helluva boss #queen bee #blitzø #stolitz #dont yell at me for that tag alright he acted like that because he was upset about Stolas #but yeah not slut-shaming or even shaming someone who clearly has alcohol problems #but saying that yeah there’s nothing wrong with party or promiscuous behavior #IF you’re having fun and not trying to escape the hurt #it can be used as an unhealthy coping mechanism #a lot of people who have tried to articulate this one just come off as slut-shamey #and they did SUCH a good job #i think queen bee hung a hat on that herself with her whole speech #but especially the #’im pretty sure he’s had like…four tongues in him at once. i mean…good for him. BUT’

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messrsbyler · 1 year

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this is my personal opinion on eddie’s character and you have been warned… it’s not a flattering one so if you love eddie don’t keep reading bc well you are probably not gonna like what i have to say under the cut

okay then…

gotta get something out of my chest: eddie is a boring, flat, and edging on obnoxious character that mostly has the pretty privilege going on for him which is just another standard white guy. yes, i teared up when his death scene came… because how it affected dustin. otherwise, couldn’t care less about him and his on the nose “i always run away/didnt run away this time” conflict

“oh, but eddie is a freak and treated as such, even hunted down and bullied. people can resonate with that” i mean… fine if you do, really, but also what about the Party? they are considered freaks, they are bullied, will even expresses even his closed ones make him feel like a freak. why about el? she was a freak too, the weirdo, the lab experiment that was hunted down and tortured. what about jonathan? he was the freak that probably killed his little brother in season one. we have seasons of these characters, characters who actually have depth to them with interesting conflicts and dynamics. and most importantly, characters who are freaks but that see each others as equals.

eddie? sure he’s a freak. a freak who likes to bee in power, sitting on his throne during DND sessions whit his group of sheep wearing all the same tees as if it was an uniform, going out of his way to jump on tables and yell in people’s faces bc he is not like other girls he is proud to be a freak and oppose to the status quo.

i mean, give me a break.

#adding to the tags how people went against jonathan for smoking weed as a coping mechanism but it’s all cool and cute when eddie sells weed #lmao #tell me again how all eddie has going on for him isn’t just pretty privilege?#i was just talking about this with someone but i didn’t use to dislike eddie i was indifferent about him bc there’s just not a lot of him #but his stans and the way he is portraiyed in the fandom just irks me at this point #can’t bag all of his stans in a same place but you know most i’ve seen are just…#if you like eddie fine. if he is your fav character… fine though i will forever believe you are part of the GA #if you are part of the group that will get mad and attack the duffers when eddie stays dead in s5 then i just wanna say #you don’t care about the plot of the show or the true main characters of the show you seem to only care about a flat character because you #probably either think he is hot or because you ship him with that other rather flat character on st #anyhow #this is a personal rant and if you don’t like it you can keep scrolling i guess #nic rants to the internet

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