Tumgik
#i used to like hypebeast fashion cause i thought it was ironic
hime-memes · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
( Requested ) This long list of starters comes from the youtube content creator: Nisipisa ! In particular, the video: ‘ Let’s Go Window Shopping 6: Crimes Against Pants with Shein ‘
Trigger Warnings: Sexual Innuendo, Alcohol & Drug Mentions and Swearing.
As always: feel free to change anything within these starters that you see fit to make it work for your muse & the receiver’s muse !
( Some sentences have been modified for length, understanding, or to give fuller context. )
“ First of all, these shorts ? I’m living for the whole outfit. I appreciate _____ finding a use for trashbags that’s not just holding trash. “
“ ... I don’t have enough brain bandwidth to actually hold enough information about it ... “
“ People deserve access to clothing in their size. 100 %. “
“ I’m already kinda impressed. “
“ This is a pretty dress & this is a pretty dress. That’s pretty ! That’s ... passable ? “ 
“ We had a lot of fun last time with t-shirts. “
“ Oh my god. Oh god ... Oh yes ! This is our first graphic tee of the day. “
“ It’s a crew neck in the ugliest shade of purple known to human or lobster eyes. “
“ Sorry: #Momlife. “ 
“ You can make sure your search engine optimization is as powerful as possible when you’re waiting in line to check out at Target™ for the fourth time this week. “ 
“ I didn’t mean to shame anybody that spends three days out of their week at Target™. “
“ If there wasn’t a panna cotta going on, that would be me. It’s my favorite place in the goddamn world ! “
“ It’s second only to shoe stores that sell a size twelve ! “ 
“ As we all know - I am not a mother and will likely biologically never be one, because God looked at me and said, ‘ If I give you a reproductive system, you’re going to be too powerful ‘ and so, he just nuked my uterus. “
“ I don’t find that this t - shirt celebrates motherhood in any meaningful way. “ 
“ I do think it celebrates having bad taste in a meaningful way. “
“ You know what ? For some people: That’s enough. “ 
“ ... We aren’t going to address why having a cutout tight might be useful ... “
“ And THIS is the sexiest shoe we could have put my girl in ?! “
“  You guys put her in this conservative nightmare heel ?! “
“ I like that ______ thinks you should wear all these graphic tees with light wash mom jeans and converse low tops. “
“ I think every website should encourage it’s patrons to dress like the main character of a Sarah Dessen novel from 2007. “
“ There’s some high schooler in a debate club that’s really into it. It’s kinda their whole personality, and they’re like: ‘ This is so ironically funny for me ‘. “
“ In the year of our Lord, 2008: I started high school and my absolute favorite shirt to wear was a shirt quite like this. “
“ It looked like I was wearing long sleeves under short sleeves when in reality, I was wearing a crime. “
“  Have you ever tried layering ? Like, actual layering ? It sucks ! “ 
“ You’re kidding ! A double whammy in the same row ? Oh my god ... “ 
“ ... We have also inexplicably made the model hit this pose. “
“ The person who needs these pants is someone who likes to go out and party - likes to go to the club - but, they are also the president of a fan club for Shar Pei dogs. “
“ You know what dogs I think are cute ? ( * Googles favorite dog * ) Just look at this guy ! “ 
“ Look at these pointy bastards ! “
“ This is like if you had a bat and you did a spell on it to make it a dog ! “ 
“ These ... Now THIS is a pair of pants ! “
“  Clinically depressed, stressed jeans. “
“  You take leopard print fabric and sew it into your distressed holes. “
“ You don’t have to frankenstein it into this type of fit ... this is kinda like how a hypebeast would dress if they were in elementary school. “
“ If you put a bow on this and a tutu: this is me and my girls rolling up to the Jojo Siwa concert. “
“ Am I saying I wouldn’t wear these shorts ? No, I’m not saying that at all - I would wear the fuck outta these shorts ! “
“  As we’ve established: my taste is awful. “ 
“ Do you think in 1503, when Lisa del Giocondo sat down to start being painted for this portrait - she thought in a couple hundred years some random fast fashion brand would take her likeness, photoshop a face mask on it ... and sell it on a graphic t - shirt ? “
“ The only responsibilities I had were watching Rugrats and learning object permanence. “
“ Stop living in the past. The future is fun because my videos are in it ! “
“ This little cherry top, I think I’d probably wear. I think it’s very sweet ! “
“  I’m so weak to anything with a grid print. “ 
“ I’m going to think about this shirt for the rest of my life ... “
“ What exactly does a lil’ house elf from Harry Potter™ have to do with this ? “
“ I do feel like this floral print will cause my brain to atrophy if I look at it too long. “ 
“ Rosé is not the only wine to rhyme with ‘ all day ‘. Rosé isn’t even good ! “
“ You know what ? I don’t work for _______, so it’s fine. It’s not my responsibility ! “ 
“ Hey guys, you having fun at mushroom college ? “
“ I saw two things: The crotch butterfly and the booty butterfly and now I’m thinking these are the only clothes anyone should ever wear. Ever. “ 
“ NOT THE ‘ SEX ’ EARRINGS !? YES ! “ 
“ This is brazenly and offensively targeting a very very very specific group of people that I went to my preppy college with and I don’t appreciate that. “
“ I’ve worn spaghetti sauce stained yoga pants to bed that are sexier than this ! “
“ I’d wear the fuck outta this. “
“ I don’t know what I can say ... the picture speaks for itself, this is awful ! “
“ I’ve been saying for the longest time there is absolutely no store online that I can find articles of clothing for my single, mid-western, art teacher from the 70s, halloween costume. Finally someone is filling that niche ! “
“ This is absolutely unprecedented, because _______ decided to take something that, not only didn’t exist, but that no one has ever asked for and make it a reality. “ 
“ They think to themselves: ‘ Man - I love leopard print and I love galaxy print: but, I wish there was some way I could experience them at the same time, in an orientation that looks like the very beginnings of a DMT trip, and I wish I could experience all that whilst exercising. “
“  This is so tacky that I wanna wear it. “ 
“ Lord - Jesus, life is so beautiful. and full ... and amazing ! “ 
“ Curse allttle and carra fu///ng ON. “
“ The Rocky Horror Picture Show did not die for our sins for you to make this, okay ____ ? “
“ I feel like the person that wears this is a representative from the International Coalition of Clowns that are also Sexy. “
“ I want the opposite of this: I want a pink pastel frilly one piece that just says across the front of it, in like Curlz MT font : ‘ Death ‘. “
“ Listen, I don’t know what font that is, but I would like President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris to outlaw it. I don’t think it does society any good. “ 
“ I heart freak city ? “
“ Uh yeah, I live on Drip Goth Punk street. “
“ Is that near Superfreak Sexy Gurl lane ? “ 
“ We have a big snake problem here in Boston and I’m glad _____ is finally recognizing this. “
“ Mama. “ * Cue insane cackling * 
“ This shirt says ‘ heart stopper ’ ... that’s me when I’m a serial killer ! “ 
“ That’s so topical and current ! Thank you, _______. “ 
17 notes · View notes