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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years

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I suspect quite a few people on this site don’t realize they are struggling with the effects of chronic trauma. In particular I think more people need to learn about the symptoms of C-PTSD.

Distinct from general PTSD, Complex PTSD is caused by prolonged, recurring stress and trauma, often occurring in childhood & adolescence over an extended period of time. There are many risk factors, including: abusive/negligent caregivers, dysfunctional family life, untreated mental/chronic illness, and being the target of bullying/social alienation.

I’m not a mental health professional and I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, I just remember a million watt light bulb going off in my head when I first learned about C-PTSD. It was a huge OH MY FUCKING WORD eureka moment for me—it explained all these problems I was confused and angry at myself for having. The symptoms that really stood out to me were:

Negative self-perception: deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, and stigma. Feeling like you are different from everyone else, like something is fundamentally ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with you.

Emotional avoidance of topics, people, relationships, activities, places, things etc that might cause uncomfortable emotions such as shame, fear, or sadness. Can lead to self-isolation.

Learned helplessness: a pervasive sense of powerlessness, often combined with feelings of desensitization, wherein you gradually stop trying to escape or prevent your own suffering, even when opportunities exist. May manifest as self-neglect or self-sabotage. (I remember watching myself make bad choices and neglect my responsibilities, and having no idea why I was doing it, or how to stop myself. Eventually I just stopped caring, which led to more self-neglect.)

Hyper-vigilance: always feeling “on edge,” alert, unable to relax even in spaces that should feel safe. May be combined with an elevated “flight” response, or feelings of always being prepared to flee. (I used to hide important documents and possessions in a sort of emergency go bag, even when I was living alone and there was no logical reason other than it made me feel “prepared.”)

Difficulty regulating emotions: may include mood swings, persistent numbness, sadness, suicidal idealization, explosive anger (or inability to feel anger and other strong emotions), inability to control your emotions, confusion about why you react the way you do.

Sense of foreshortened future: assuming or feeling that you will die young. Recurring thoughts that "I'll be dead before the age of 30/40/18/21 etc." As a teenager I used to joke darkly that I didn't plan to live past 30—not because I planned to end my life, but because I simply couldn't imagine myself alive and happy in the long-term. I couldn't imagine a meaningful future where I wasn't suffering.

Emotional flashbacks: finding yourself suddenly re-experiencing feelings of helplessness, panic, despair, or anger etc, often without understanding what has triggered these feelings. Often these flashbacks don’t clearly relate to the memory of a single event (since C-PTSD is caused by repetitive events, which can blur together), making them harder to identify as flashbacks—especially if you��ve never heard the phrase “emotional flashback” and don’t know what to look for. For years I just filed it under “sometimes I overreact/freak out randomly for no reason, probably bc I am just a terrible human being.” (It turns out there was very much a reason, it was just hidden in the past. I have since learned to be kinder and less judgemental towards myself.)

There are other symptoms too, here are more links with good info.

I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile, because I’ve noticed that a lot of the people I interact with online have risk factors and experiences similar to mine. These include:

growing up in a dysfunctional household

having caregivers who do not fulfill basic emotional needs (do not provide consistent positive attention, encouragement, support, acceptance, communication, a sense of safety and security)

on a very related note, experiencing neglect or abuse at the hand of caregivers or other adults. I also want to emphasize the significance of emotional abuse, since it is hard to recognize, easy to ignore, and utterly rampant in so many communities. In general, family dysfunction, abuse & neglect are quite difficult to identify when you are a child/teen and that is the only “normal” you have known.

(For example, in my family it manifested as an emotionally absent father I was vaguely frightened of, constant nagging from a hypercritical mother, and a house full of people who yelled and screamed at each other. It took me years to realize I grew up in an abusive environment, because there was no physical violence, because I participated in the fighting, and because my behavioral problems made me the family scapegoat. And I internalized that guilt: I thought I was the problem. But no—I was a child, and I deserved not to grow up in a household full of anger and fear and negativity. You deserved that too. You deserved to grow up safe and loved and treated with kindness.)

anyway back to more risk factors:

being neurodivergent or chronically ill (especially without receiving proper treatment/support/accommodation)

being queer (especially in a conservative or undiverse community, or without the support and acceptance of family & friends)

being the target of bullying or harassment (from peers, teachers, authority figures, irl, online, etc)

being isolated or alienated from peers, from family, from your wider community.

growing up with chronic anxiety, discomfort, pain, fear, or distress caused by any of the above and more.

There are many other experiences that can cause chronic trauma, but these are some particularly common ones I see people in my own community struggling with. And I want more people to be aware of this, because we’ve been taught to ignore and second-guess the significance of our traumatic experiences. We’ve been taught to feel guilty for our own pain, because “other people aren’t struggling, so I shouldn’t either” or (contradictorily) “other people have it worse, so I shouldn’t complain.” But that’s not how it works—you are not other people, and you deserve to have it better. We all deserve better. We deserve to be happy. We deserve not to be in pain.

I used to think I couldn’t have a trauma disorder because (I argued in my head) the things that happened to me weren’t that bad. And then I spent five years in therapy learning to accept the full extent of my issues. I’ve since learned that trauma comes in many forms, and can happen quietly, invisibly, silently, chronically, and usually without the survivor being aware of the long-term repercussions of what they are surviving. That revelation comes later, after you have survived and must instead learn to live.

Finally, no single type of trauma is more real or harmful than any other. Severity is measured by the way the individual is affected, and the same situations affect different people in different ways. Because no one gets to choose how their brain reacts to trauma. No one gets to choose their hurt—otherwise there would be a hell of a lot less hurting in the world.

We can, however, choose to seek help. We can learn to recognize when something is wrong, we can learn when to reach out to professionals, and we can learn to educate ourselves on our injuries.

And gradually, we can learn to heal.

(posts like this brought to you by ko-fi supporters)

#The way things are is not the way things will always be. So I have learned to trust.#i...i accidentally spent 4 1/2 HOURS writing this what the FUCK #long post #not a shitpost #serious post #mental health #c-ptsd #complex ptsd #trauma #ask to tag #i need to take a break and drink some tea #maybe with the fancy new tea biscuits i just bought #they have pecans and honey. i like honey #pecans are gross though except apparently in biscuits. these biscuits are really good #anyway let me know if you're worried I've misspoke or misrepresented anything here #again i'm not a professional. i'm just a person in therapy who has spent the last few years learning about and healing from complex trauma #and i wish i had known all of this years sooner. but i know it now so i'm putting it out there #bc i hope it helps someone dealing with the same things i dealt with.#i know things now that were painful to learn. and i will use them gently with great care #i wish i hadn't suffered the way i suffered. but since i have--how miraculous if i could use it to prevent others from suffering the same #that's the best thing to do with pain i think. turn it into something warm and blazing and try to use it to keep others warm #pain is like fire that way. you can burn yourself and others with it. or you can tame it and keep it in a jar and use it as a guiding light #For the Love of All the Fucks please notify me of typos

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flooficandii · 3 years

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what do u think ab an au where the vp takes in kids with radiant abilities to train them as the "future" of valorant

this idea's kinda scuffed af bc idk much ab the lore actually i'm still confused ab kingdom n earth but i just want an excuse to see the agents babysitting chaotic kids with powers LMAOAoadjdj

IM NOT GONNA LIE THAT WOULD SOUND SUPER CUTE LMAO RADIANT BABY DAYCARE,,,, also this is a perfect excuse to put my headcanons about which of the agents are the best with kids

parents. like, literal parents dude

brimstone. he is the first immediate thing that comes to mind when i think of parenting. i mean look at the way he talks to the rest of the agents, you can't tell me he won't do well with kids

CYPHER!!! bro cypher would LOVE kids,,,,i hc he was really excited to be a dad but nora kinda died with his unborn baby so,, yknow he has that yearning feeling and he kinda projects that nature onto the younguns. he may be super secretive and shifty but you can tell he cares for them and would love to have children running around the base

sage!! sage radiates this energy of warmth and comfort and security, you'll always feel safe with her so she'd be wonderful with children :]] she won't hesitate to be strict if needed though so just make sure to stay on her good side unless,,, "YOUR HOMEWORK IS NOT OVER!!!"

reyna. surprisingly. although she isn't as much a parent as the rest of them, she wILL break someone's arm for a kid. she may be very murderous but kids might be her soft spot (glances vaguely at her little sister)

tbh i see her as the kind of caretaker that'll let her kid do awful things lmao

"miss reyna can i say a curse word ple a se ,,,"

"of course, cariño."

"FUCK!!!!"

okay at it/awkward but trying

omen. omen isn't sure how to interact with children,,,, like, i headcanon he scares them away a lot

if one of them happens to be NOT scared?? *immediately imprints*

i think the most he'd do while watching over children is just sit there with his knitting needles and grunt Menacingly whenever they start causing trouble

viper. viper also scares kids away, understandably so, but she does have this maternal nature despite her scary aura (exhibit a: duality)

i headcanon she actually dislikes children and tries to avoid them as much as possible but will be incREDIBLY protective if they're threatened

yoru. he finds kids annoying. but if he were put in a situation where he HAD to keep an eye on them he'd probably try

just a little bit

as a treat

he'll call them brats or something lmAO what a bitch

unless one of them calls him cool and feeds his ego

then yeah he'll love them lol

imagine yoru going into his rift and picking the kid up to make it look like they're flying

a parent? maybe not, it's really not something on his list of ideals. but a big brother figure? sure! it means he gets to bully tease children to his heart’s content

sova. sova is okay at babysitting. he’s very quiet though so the kids usually get bored with him

he’s quick to straighten them up if they’re misbehaving

maybe he’ll tell fairy tales about the mountains or something

*deep thick russian voice* “When I was still living with my babushka in the frigid mountains of the North,”

babysitters at most

jett. jett seems like the cool babysitter who lets you do anything and everything lmao,, stay up past your bedtime?? sure thing. snacks before dinner?? hell yeah. you want her to show you her cool spinny wind trick?? of course!!

raze! raze gives off the vibes of the girl next door who everyone in the neighborhood knows and loves. she probably hung out with the kids in her town a lot and would draw with them, make music with them, etc. very big sister vibes 10/10 just don't let her have explosives around them

ASTRA!!! astra astra astra i bet she’d be the type to give piggy back rides and make little stardust confetti to wow them with!! she’ll sing songs and read stories and maybe do little puppet shows for them

skye would do great with kids! she’s strong enough to catch up to them during vigorous games of tag and she’d let them pet her tiger

her animals love the kids too

imagine taz lying on his back as they pet his belly and hawko perching on top of their heads

haha! *slowly pulls them away from the children*

breach. i dont know about you guys but if you left him with a kid he would lose them in like 1.5 minutes

“what? they’re tiny, you think i’d notice?”

bro he is such a fucking bully he’d punt a kid across a football field

i guess he’d let them sit on his giant bionic shoulders but thats it

phoenix.

says he has it under control

does NOT have it under control

“alright, fam! leave it to me, i can handle some younguns-”

*burns down the entire hq after trying to show them a trick*

killjoy. bro she would use them for her experiments without batting an eye

“KILLJOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE KIDS”

“testing the sensor range of my turret!! :DD relax, it won’t hurt them- they’re wearing helmets!”

“KILLJOY THEY’RE WRAPPED IN BUBBLE WRAP I DON’T THINK THAT’S HUMANE”

kay/o.

i dunno man i don’t think he’d even know what to do with kids

also he might accidentally break their spine if they wanted a hug lmao

he won’t hurt them on purpose but this is just,,,a safety measure

k would do great with kids though :]] big friendly guy

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wickedgamesoyaoya · 2 years

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❧ 27. lessons

❧Masterlist - Previous - Next

❧ A/N: I love reading what everyone thinks bc it’s either like ‘wooohoo iwa!!!’ or ‘fuck this MAN’ AND I DIE EVERY TIME.

When Iwaizumi offered to walk you back to your hotel, the little voice in your head shifted its tone. Disgust coated the warnings that sliced through your mind and any sense of security your best friend’s words had produced was dismantled in seconds. At first when you saw Iwaizumi and interacted with him, you felt in control. You felt confident in yourself and your ability to draw lines when appropriate. The lessons associated with the athletic trainer remained fresh in your mind - you knew what you wanted from a relationship now and you would not forget it.

The issue was that your conversation with Kuroo had created small cracks in your sense of self. His lack of belief in you had stung far more than he probably realized. You genuinely valued his opinion, and that was precisely why your mind was in a state of disorder. You valued his opinion so damn much, that the voice inside of your head was no longer yours - it was his.

And it was for that reason why you had to accept Iwaizumi’s proposal. You had to tell the world who you were, or else it would continue to define you in a manner that you did not consider fit.

“Thanks for not running away from me today.” Iwaizumi was the first to speak up after you two exited the restaurant. Usually he didn’t mind silence, especially during walks at night. But there was just simply too much he wanted to say to you, so he bravely broke the silence only thirty seconds into the walk.

“I’m not the one who runs away from problems, Iwaizumi.” A feathery laugh shadowed your response, but the male could not help but feel embarrassed at the message underlying your words.

“Yeah. I was a big idiot for that.” Rubbing at the back of his neck, he tried to resist the urge to curse under his breath. “For the last month all I’ve done is think about how badly I fucked up. How I could have avoided all of this shit if I used my damn brain.”

And how he could have been kissing you, instead of missing you every second of the day.

A thoughtful hum vibrated inside of your throat as you nodded to indicate your understanding. It was good to hear that he too used the time to reflect on his behaviour. People who reflected over their actions were far more redeemable than those that simply made excuses for their behaviour.

“It’s funny because when I was younger, I never schemed with my friends. I was the only one who didn’t. And I somehow managed to think scheming would be a good idea now.” The disgust he felt towards himself could easily be traced along his features. And as you peered up at him to demonstrate that he had your undivided attention, he could not meet your gaze. “It’s crazy how you can lose who you are because of a shitty relationship.”

Pressing your lips together, you averted your consideration towards the concrete below. Of course you knew that much too. Losing yourself in the process of trying to find love was kinda your specialty. But your time with him was truly the last straw. That was why you were prepared to take the lesson and leave forever. Or so, at least you thought you were prepared to complete the latter part. If anything, the last few hours had shown you that while you had distanced yourself from him, you still cared.

Even though you had chosen to walk away, you were still glancing back, waiting for him to meet you again, once he was ready.

“Not that I’m saying you’re the reason I changed! I meant my ex. Takara.” Iwaizumi blinked down at you, mentally scolding himself for leaving his last statement so vague. “She... fucked with my head so good that I didn’t realize I changed. I ignored my friends when they told me I changed. I only started to believe it when I met you. When I realized I was being an asshole to someone who deserved way better.”

“I understand, Iwaizumi.”

Yes, you understood him on levels he possibly could not comprehend. But did that change the history you two shared? Did that change the fact he toyed with your heart and acted like a child? Did his supposed character development mean that you should give him a second chance?

Hell, was he even asking for one?

“But I guess maybe you’re not asking for my understanding.” Biting on the inside of your cheek, you tilted your chin up to catch his eyes. “Well, if you want my forgiveness, you have it.”

To your surprise, it was not relief that washed over his visage, it was anguish.

“I didn’t even say I’m sorry yet and you’re forgiving me?” Pausing in the middle of the sidewalk, he swallowed harshly. His chest was inflamed, and the gentle smile ghosting upon your lips only drove him further insane.

“You may have not said the words, but I got the point.” After smoothing your palms against your outfit, you lifted your shoulders into a small shrug.

“Don’t forgive me yet. I don’t deserve it.” Iwaizumi wanted nothing more than to capture your hands in his, but he knew he shouldn’t. And to distract his twitching fingers, he curled them in towards his palm. “Let me make it up to you first. Let me show you I can be better. Then you can forgive me.”

For a moment you merely stood stuck in your spot, unsure how to react to his counter position. A normal person would have happily accepted your forgiveness. But Iwaizumi was dead set on making it up to you - he wanted to be worthy of your forgiveness, and that fact alone had your heart beating erratically.

“We can’t keep starting over. I don’t want to keep acting like we’re starting with a blank slate.”

“I don’t want to start over, y/n. I don’t buy into that crap anymore. I know I fucked up, but now I want to show you that I can be better. Let me care about you the way you deserve.” His throat constricted painfully as he proclaimed his last sentence. He didn’t know how to convey his feelings in any other way. This was the best he could do, and he had to hope it would be enough.

After another thirty seconds of silence, you slowly nodded your head.

“Okay.” The confirmation was exhaled softly, contrasting the blood roaring inside of your ears.

Were you giving in too fast? Oh god, why were you giving in so fast? Why did you care so much about him? Why -

“Thank you, y/n. Thank you.” The smile twitching upon his mouth was faint but it showcased just how much your concession meant to him. “Can I ... hug you? Please?”

After catching your second nod, he loosened his fingers and stepped closer to you. And as he brought you into his embrace, your mind was consumed by a single thought.

Please don’t break my heart.

taglist: @newfriendjen @moonlightaangel @graykageyama @yourstarvic @chibishae34 @haikyuusimp91 @rajablast @cuddlesslut @elianetsantana @the-golden-jhope @camcam1617 @dreamstormings @anejuuuuoy @boosyboo9206 @ntimacy @bloody-bella @fantasycantasy @peterspizzashirt @galagcica @vintagexparker @criesinpisces @hazzaloveschopsuey @amarinthe @neologyro @ara-mitsue @navymacaroons @nvmnd @daddyissuesmademe @missalienqueen

[if you were removed/want to be added, please leave me an ask]

#haikyuu #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi fanfic #hq iwaizumi #iwazumi imagines #Iwaizumi Hajime #haikyuu angst #iwaizumi angst

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 3 years

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Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise!

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you. MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai: MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something: MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult.

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest. (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

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catastrofriend · 3 years

Note

35. grabbing the other’s hand to pull them back to them for the prompts! :D

this became... something of a thing. i tried to keep it soft but then the orpheus/euridyce imagery happened and things

1.5k words of chargestep bc im a sucker with a lot of feelings about Ortega

(AO3 link)

-----------

They start with gentle touches, squeezing his shoulders a bit, moving their hands down his upper arms. Establishing a warm presence behind him, maybe trying to reassure him, maybe simply trying to get into the right mood for this. (Maybe just doing this to warm up their hands before they go skin to skin.)

He can hear Leigh's breathing in time with their movements, leans back into it, and it makes Ortega realize how much tension he was holding in his body. Can start letting go of it now, a little. Their fingers start digging in a little, still over his shirt, but finding the worst--or best--spots quite easily anyway. He squirms a little, rolls his shoulders back a few times, settles into their touches, and the pressure increases.

When a hand finally disappears behind his shirt, knuckles kneading a path next to his spine, he can't help a little gasp. Leigh's giggle behind him only makes it better. Then it's only a matter of time until they find that one spot high between his shoulder blades. He has to bite down on his lower lip to muffle a moan.

With a light scratch from fingernails, their hands come back up onto his shoulders, and he takes his chance to pull their arms down around his neck, so they have no choice but to hug him. But they do it with a laugh and a kiss to his cheek, so he's probably fine.

Leigh buries their face against his shoulder, another little kiss to the side of his neck, squeezing his hands back. A happy little hum, sounds vaguely like a song he's heard on the radio. He sinks into the moment and there's really no part of him that's invested in ever coming back up again. The way Leigh is so close, and so comfortable, and so indubitably there, it's something he happily gets overwhelmed by. He's still learning to remember that they're really back, that he's not imagining things, he's not settling for something close enough, it's really them, and they want to be there? They don't blame him, don't hate him, and he can love them and it's okay? That's a feeling he doesn't think he'll ever get enough of.

He certainly hasn't got enough of it now. As Leigh straightens up again, their arms move up, threatening to put a distance between them. It's almost desperate, how he tightens his grip on their fingers no charge and pulls back. He can feel them studying his face for a few seconds and forces himself to let go. One of their hands ruffles his hair and he conjures up a smile.

"I'm not leaving, you know," the words are soft, they're smiling back at him but there's a tightness to it, they're taking a step back but with a hand stretched out to him, waiting for him to follow, and how could he not?

"Better not." It was supposed to be a joke but he didn't get the tone right. They laugh for a second anyway and sometimes he wonders if they can read his mind after all. Pinpointing his doubts and intentions, following the lines he meant to set, getting to the core of things.

They pull him along by his hand, no negotiations even if there was a bone in his body not ready to follow them. Walking almost backwards, keeping their eyes on him instead of where they're going, using their free hand to navigate the apartment. Maybe they're afraid to let him out of their sight, too. Maybe they also have nightmares of climbing through hell, looking behind them and the other is gone.

The back of his knees hit the bed and he does what he does best: rolls with the situation, lets himself fall backwards, arms tight around Leigh so they have no choice but to fall with him. They smack down on his chest with an “oomph” and a laugh, and he looks up at them as they wriggle, not so much out of his grip, but into a better position to kiss him. He can feel their smile on his lips.

Their kiss is gentle, slow. Leaning on their elbows on either side of his head. They bump their noses together when they stop to breathe for a moment. It’s really too close to tell, but he’ll swear later that he was seeing mischief in their eyes. Leigh goes to sit up, but he pulls them back by the collar, demands another kiss, and they gladly give in, letting him put his arm around their waist. He resists the urge to take charge (hah), knowing that they usually prefer to be led, so if they’re taking initiative, it must be because they want to be just there.

“So what’s the plan here?” he asks to make sure anyway. And boy, is he glad he did, when Leigh’s first reaction is to freeze up and flush red.

“I just--” they’re looking decisively not at him, one hand scratching at their cheek, hiding in plain sight. He nudges them in the arm, hopefully reassuringly. It gets through their defenses enough for a little smile to appear, though they still won’t look at him. “I wanted to take care of you, for once.”

Everything in him softens at that, grows a little warmer and a little fuller of love.

“I’m fine, though.”

“Are you?”

He thinks they looked at him for a fraction of a second when asking that, but their gaze dropped so fast, he can’t be sure. But let them avoid his gaze if it means he can avoid their question. Leigh seems to have come to a similar conclusion, as they settle into a sitting position, straddled across his hips. Fingers meticulously unbutton his shirt, and there’s so much care in their every move, he can’t help but grab their hands and pull them to his face to kiss them before letting them continue. They push up his undershirt and he sits halfway up, allowing them to take the clothes off.

The tips of their fingers are light as feathers across his skin as they glide back down again, and they're shifting position and now there's a finger under the band of his pants. He cracks a grin. After what feels like an eternity, they bend down, and. If they were touching him lightly just now, this kiss is--barely there at all. Like he's made of spun sugar. The ghost of a touch. On a nasty bit of scarring left by Catastrofiend. Not where he thought this would go. Possibly better? One hand to steady them against his ribs, they kiss a trail along the lines of those scars. He remembers, when he got that gash, how fast they were there, holding him, trying to keep him together. He thought he was dying, then, maybe they did too. It was the first time he saw their face, they took their mask off just for him. The fear in their eyes. For him.

Maybe he's breathing a little too fast. Maybe his hands are bunched up in the sheets. Maybe he's close to tearing up. He's about to shake it off when Leigh looks at him like they know something.

"Hey there." Two little words and a hand cupping his cheek, and the knot of tension in his chest doesn't feel so inevitable anymore. He holds out his hands and they gladly place theirs in them. He squeezes too tightly, but Leigh lets him. Is simply there while he’s feeling his feelings, a handhold to grasp at until he finds his footing again. Who would've thought this was what they meant by taking care of him? How did they figure out, before he even did so himself, how much he needed just this?

They move on to a patch of skin not marred by any fights (though he's pretty sure he broke a rib there at least twice). He feels more than sees what they're doing. The bumping of their nose against his skin, the occasional tickle of eyelashes. The warmth of their breaths, carefully held even. They make their way to his heart, plant a kiss right above it, rest their head on his chest for a while to listen to his heartbeat. Might be they can't say the words yet, but they might as well be oozing with love now, he can feel it in every touch, every sigh, every smile. He wraps his arms around them, simply to hold them close, and, like they were waiting for it, they sink right into him.

“Thank you,” he mumbles.

They don’t reply, just hold him tighter in response. Then, when he’s starting to think they’ve fallen asleep, in a very small voice. “Promise me something?”

“Hmm?”

The barest shift as they press a kiss to the closest skin available, on his clavicle. “Promise you’ll ask for help, next time.”

He stays quiet for long enough that they look up, frowning, searching his face. Move up a little, kiss the side of his mouth.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Soft. Careful. Resigned. The same words they once kept repeating when he thought he was going to die.

But he’s doing okay now.

Right?

#fhr #impossible-rat-babies #fallen hero: rebirth #fallen hero: retribution #ortega #ricardo ortega #sidestep #oc: leigh bennett #fanfic #pix writes

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 3 years

Note

2, 15, and 94 with LoSleep?

2. Royal AU || 15. Criminal AU || 94. Hair Brushing/Braiding

anon i hope you know this is like the Perfect set up for a rapunzel AU. maybe you did. maybe you did this on purpose. regardless... tangled AU

imma go with remy being the lost princess, and logan the dashing thief, because while my instinct is to go the other way around i like Switching It Up on y'all

remy's bigender, using male pronouns but female titles/referrals. he figured this out solely because he preferred the way the male pronouns sounded, while also liking being a princess a good deal more than being a prince. he doesn't mention this to mother gothel tho. i mention this mostly so none of y'all get confused as i go sdkjhncfjsd

logan's transmale, and his struggles as a poor trans kid are what made him go Fuck Society Actually. he targets the crown especially bc the king and queen can stand to lose their gold

he doesn't stumble upon the tower after being chased for the crown, however; he's just looking for a place to hide in general. he's just made off with a good sack of gold, and he wants to stash it for a bit, let the heat die down, before he tries to buy anything with it

and that's how he finds the hidden clearing, with the surprisingly intact, singular tower dead center

he, of course, goes to investigate, and ends up nearly getting run through with a broomstick, which he feels would be a pretty bad way to go

but that's not entirely horrible, because the person dangerously weilding the cleaning implement is a bit absolutely stunning

he says as such and almost gets a broom through a lung, because apparently this tower dweller thinks he's a threat and is also insulting them

after a... lot of talking, and logan wisely easing up on the complimenting thing (for now...), they get things figured out. the tower dweller is remy, and he's waiting for his mother to return from a store run or smth. logan has to be gone before mother is back, or logan will be in trouble

aside from the fact logan doesn't really want to leave remy just in General, he has some doubts about 'mother'. like why she was raising her kid... here. in the middle of the woods. in a hidden clearing. in a high tower. with no clear way in or out (logan had to scale the thing, and it doesn't look like remy's used to that method of entrance). and the best defense weapon on hand being a broom

so when remy faux-indifferently asks logan what the moving lights are ("i know they're not stars... please don't tell me they're stars..."), logan jumps at the chance to invite remy to see them- it'll only be a day, mother wont mind that long, right? logan can keep remy safe from his every fear of that real world, and remy'll get to see the lights, and everyone will be happy

remy's hesitant, but it's clear he wants to go. it doesn't take that much prodding to convince him to leave mother a Very vague note about being back soon and being safe, to go with logan

that's when logan learns about remy's hair. he hadn't noticed before, the dirty blond hair on the floor not having caught his attention, but he certainly notices it when remy's jumping out the window, cascading down the way by hanging on to all... goodness knows how many yards of it

if he wasn't already suspicious there was something off about this whole situation, the hair that was Way longer than it should be- and way stronger to boot- tipped him off pretty seriously

and as their trip goes on? logan's only adding to the list of Sus, including (but oh so not limited to)

the clear fact remy's Never left the small, sheltered clearing (which in my version is still within the forest, no overhead open sky) to the extent seeing the sun has him doubling over and clutching his eyes like they burn

after making do with some cloth wrapped over remy's eyes for a bit, logan gets him some sunglasses and remy doesnt know what they are at first

remy has too much fucking anxiety in his him- he hides from a passing person faster than logan, the known and wanted criminal

and it's clear he's not just avoiding social interaction- he loves talking to logan, and he's plenty social and alive and everything then- but he just seems to have some fear against. well. the world

remy is also... oddly clingy to logan. like. wayyyy too much so. maybe logan could blame it on remy not knowing enough about the outside world, but it seems... more than that. as if just bc remy's decided to trust logan on this, logan's the end-all be-all of trust or smth. logan's not exactly how to put it to words but. it's wrong

overall, remy has a very Vibrant personality. he's confident, strong, unwilling to just be led around and nothing like a damsel in distress. but it seems much too... surface level. like if logan pushed too hard, it would all crumble, to reveal something- someone- who's not sure about anything and who's terrified because of it

making their way to the center of the kingdom makes it all the more clear to logan that Something is wrong with remy, and that there is no way he can ever go back to that tower

because logan's an orphan kid, he's seen his fair share of foster homes, of some of the kids who come back from them

he knows what child abuse victims look like

that's not all logan's learning about remy on the way to the kingdom, however. he's also learning about his favorite story, how much he's thought about the moving lights, how the world looks so different from the ground. logan's learning how remy's genuine smiles are much prettier than the faux one he wears a lot, how his laughs are rare but perfect, how incredible he is between the poorly concealed fear and hurt

logan's a thief and a cynic, someone's who had long written off most of the supposed good in the world, much too used to an orphaned childhood, growing up in poverty, misgendering, pain

something about remy makes him reconsider some of his more pessimistic beliefs

they reach the kingdom at midday, but remy stops them before they can actually go in. even with the sunglasses, logan can see the blinding fear in his eyes at the sight of civilization, of all those people. he grips his hair, takes a half step back, looking about ready to call it all off and run all the way back 'home'

logan grabs remy's hand. the grip is light, easily escaped, but remy doesnt, just looks at logan, trying to school his expression into one of cool neutrality instead of fear

"i can braid your hair." logan says, holding remy's gaze as he speaks. "so no one steps on it while we go to see the moving lights."

logan knows that's not the main thing stopping remy from entering the kingdom. it's an excuse, just for him. because it's easier to be worried about your hair being stepped on then to admit just being Afraid, right?

"I will not let it come undone" logan adds, lightly squeezing remy's hand. i will not let you get hurt

it's a long minute before remy agrees, but he does agree

they sit on the floor of the forest, just outside the kingdom, logan's deft fingers making quick work of the tangles that have developed in remy's hair over the course of the trip, the thief carefully watching the way remy's stiff as wood at first, trying not to react to logan's work on his hair, but slowly relaxes, leaning back a bit, tilting into logan's touch each time it comes back to remy's head

it takes a while, but soon enough, remy's hair is mostly restrained in a braid that's held together at key points by flower stems, leaving remy's hair decorated with wildflowers to boot

remy loves it. logan's starting to think he loves something too, but he's less willing to admit it

spending the rest of the day in the town is surprisingly wonderful- remy keeps close to logan, but he manages to talk to some people at times, and when they find the library he seems just about ready to die happy in there

logan stays close to him the entire time, usually holding his hand. he's never loved being around people more

it's getting close to the time for the lanterns to be released when logan realizes who remy is

the tower girl makes a comment about how familiar the lost princess's mural is. logan glances between it and remy, between the uniquely red-tinted brown eyes, the bright baby hair that could've easily turned dirty blond, the story of a dying queen and a magical flower springing to mind

remy is the lost princess. and as loathe as the thought of letting him go is, logan knows remy's the one treasure the thief can't have

so logan promises to himself, after they see the lanterns, he'll explain. he'll bring the princess to the king and queen, and hope he doesn't get arrested in the process. he'll set things right, and then he'll leave

because the thief doesn't get the girl anywhere other than fairytales

they still share an absolutely magical moment out on the water though. the way remy's eyes light up seeing the lanterns rise into the sky, sunglasses off in the dark evening, awe-struck... and when logan reveals the lanterns he snagged at one point, that they two of them can send up- logic help him, logan's not sure how much longer he can go on denying the truth

they don't kiss, don't even get close, bc logan's too busy trying to deny the truth and remy's still got a million trust issues

but remy's hand is slotted in logan's nearly the entire time, and they release their lanterns at the same time, and they hold each other's gazes a few times too long, and that seems pretty damn close to Something for them

they head back to the kingdom land before the other boats. logan knows remy will prefer to hear what he says without too many people around them, and if logan's being honest with himself? he's running away. he's running away from this closeness before it can get him (it's already gotten him, but he's always been so good at lying)

then logan gets shot :D

bc mother gothel found that note and she didnt like it!! she was after remy as soon as she saw it, and now she's caught up, and she's not letting anyone keep remy from her

she comes totting a crossbow that she levels on remy the moment she sees him. demanding he come home, saying the world is too dangerous for him to be out and about, pretending the crossbow is for logan instead, that he's a threat, can't remy see he needs to come home with her? where it's safe?

remy doesn't move. mother is supposed to be safety, right? he should go with her

...he doesn't want to leave logan

things escalate. logan says he'll never let gothel have remy again. remy doesn't react to this, but he doesn't step closer to gothel either. her frustration builds. the trigger gets pulled

it's unclear who she meant to hit but logan's the one who takes the arrow through his chest, barely even thinking as he made sure he was between remy and the projectile

by then, the townspeople have begun returning to the town, so there are people to grab gothel, ensure she doesn't attack further. someone runs for the king and queen, because one soldier recognizes gothel, as long ago as it's been since she was last seen and known and Wanted by the rulers, wanted for taking their baby

people try to approach logan, to help, but remy curls around him, refusing to let anyone near, not trusting them, refusing to lose the one person left in this world he cares about

remy's hair has fallen out of its braid, falling around himself and on top of logan, whose head remy is carefully supporting in his hands. logan's trying to convince remy it's okay, everything will be okay, that as long as remy is okay it'll be okay, but remy's really not buying it, not when logan's blood is staining his shirt and hair and his voice is getting weaker and weaker and weaker

"it's okay" logan tries to promise, even though remy can barely hear him over the gurgle of blood in the back of his throat

"how can it be okay? you're dying"

"...and you're safe" logan replies, just barely, wasting the last of his strength to reach up, cupping remy's cheek, holding his face like he was the most important thing in the world, "you're safe. and i love you"

logan's eyes slip closed after that, and they don't seem to be opening again soon

remy could do a lot of things now. scream, cry, breakdown. he's already pretty close to doing a lot of them

but instead, he sings. he sings the song mother gothel always made him, the one that could deage. he doesn't know what it will do. but he hopes against hope it'll do Something. that it will save logan Somehow

and before the eyes of the town, before the eyes of the king and queen just fetched from their castle, they watch as remy's hair glows with magic not seen in nearly two decades

it's dangerous for remy. gothel had always taught that. people would do Anything to take his hair if they knew. but he doesn't care right then. all that mattered was logan. nothing else

he doesn't even realize what he's managed to do until logan's gently shaking him, telling him he can stop singing, it's okay, for real now, he's okay, they're okay

and you know how it goes from there... the king and queen reveal that Yep Remy You're Our Daughter, logan is accepted by the family bc Took A Hit For Remy Our Daughter, remy and logan continue to have their own issues due to Childhood Abuse but with each other, and their love, they get better... and they get to live happily ever after

#okay so i would just to formally apologize for how Dark parts of this got kjsdhnfvksd #i got so caught up in the euphoria of the exchange of trust and vulnerability between the abused i lived in a world where this wasnt #supposed to be lighthearted KHDFSVJU #losleep #ts logan #ts remy #rapunzel au #abuse tw #child abuse tw #trauma tw #violence tw #fanfic #ts fanfic #the cryptid speaks #lost in the fray #so long.........

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lunartearrose · 3 years

Note

hello. bestie. info about this fantasy au WHEN 👀👀👀👀👀

Aaa I can give you some right now!!!! For some reason this au comes to me whenever im working so thats why its art is all on stickynotes audjskjsj

BUT ANYWAYS uh. No better way to say this but it all started out with a modded skyrim character creator that i made skull in! I thought it was cool and going thru both main q and whatever stupid civil war to skip the broken seasons unending quest is annoyin but fun was had for maybe some hours

But! I had to make skull twice due to the first skull files getting corrupted. So that has a piece to it

But anyways context over and now this au has been in my brain with only vague skrim assets because i fucking hate that that civil war has anything to do with anything of the main questline it can FUCK. Right off

Basic storyline premise my brain had! We start out with a currently human vintage caught between a mysteriously similar civil war :) he's chosen neither side but since his home was destroyed by the stupid shit idiot war he's basically gotten really good at pissing off both sides. Sometimes he gets caught! And the good-ish soldiers will see that he is you know a still kinda baby-side teen full of anger and try to lrt him go with a talking to. But his worst encounter would be when the angy soldiers catch him and beat him up, which just deepens his hatred. And one time someone really messed him up bad!

He ends up limping away into an enchanted forest and drawn by a really good smell, he passes out just in front of this really beautiful lilac tree that was in a clearing like "ok this is a nice tree to die by. Peaceful" but ofc he didnt die. He just woke up to a nymph of the tree he chose taking him up to the center of the tree. And that's how he befriends Skull, he's recovering with him and keeps mumbling about how nice the smell is while skull both cares for him and looks around for his potion savvy friend. Once vin is healed up by aviators he realizes pretty quick that this forest is very much between the war path and figures it's highly appropriate to set traps all over!!! But ofc giving avi and skull very specific instructions on how to avoid the things he sets. He also makes good pals with omega in the town nearby bc she helps at an institude and she's been sneaking him into their library to read up on nymphs and share his own notes in return. Shes like you're my little brother and hes like fuck u (but also thank you sorry) and he gets to discover he has a high affinity for magic despite being human. Weird! Anyways now that he has a place of study he can figure out how to teach skull weapons.

But all is not peaceful for long, bc some old shitty wizard trails this knowledgeable little jerkwad, because variant nymphs are rare! And as the guy comes out of the bushes and pisses vintage off by treating skull like a specimen and taking out a pair of scissors like, "i wonder if its really true that you can take memories of one by severing branches from its tree:)" Vintage basically attacks the guy! Because no taking Skull's memories! And skull helps of course bc friend, but unfortunately this guy is very strong and seasoned. So when vintage almost gets a good life ending hit, the wizard wounds him heavily (resulting in an x-shaped scar deep on his face that got him bad in one eye) and opens a portal to basically hell! Vin is gonna fall in but skull makes the effort to try and use the roots of his tree to pull him out. But knowing he can get sucked in too, vintage just makes a promise to get out somehow and come back, sealing it by giving the gift of a small ring he was saving. Unknown to him once he falls and portal closes, skull definitely makes the wizard into plant food! But on the floor of this hellscape, vintage finds himself with some flowers and seeds that had fallen from the tree, a tail, and a new nubby pair of horms and wings. But despite this, he gets up, gathers the seeds, and thinking back on his affinity for magic, he decides he will grow the lilacs while he figures out an escape, all the while being reminded of skull every time he looks at the stuff. It takes some years, and some demons also looking for an escape love his tree and his story (mainly double who helped persuade spirits into protecting the tree and gave vin tips on horn and wing upkeep) but eventually vin has his break when he hears omega call and together they pry open a portal out of there. He's pulled along by a red sole (very excited feral magician) and now he and double are finally out. Double introduces himself while vintage, with magical hell-lilacs tied around tail, disguises his demon features and runs off to find skull.

Only to find the entire forest burned down. He's in shock for some time, wanting to know how and why. One of the last things he saw was a killing blow from skull, it couldn't have been that wizard- but then he spots a soldier's settlement nearby. Hidden amongst charred trees. They chatted merrily, loading up gathered game, and when he asked, they told him the forest was another victim of their pointless war. It wasn't even a turning point, and one of them even laughed and said they'd get "the bad guys" next time.

When the sick of this, much older teen, gets angry enough that his horn-hiding illusion falls, they all quite suddenly realize they've majorly screwed up. And vintage figures out that he has a taste for souls. Red finds him again after though with a gift, a calm pet and a gentle informing that he should be able to visit his hell lilac tree anytime he wants at least. A nice gift, but vintage is too angry at the moment to appreciate it and decides that hes ending the war himself by killing every single person directly involved with it! At times the armies had tried to work together to stop him, but with the power to morph melificent style into a dragon is a pretty solid way to make sure you're just wasting lives, and people figure out pretty quick it's the commanders he wants. Those are sacrificed, but now you just have a very powerful demon with nowhere to place his still burning grief that's very very hard to approach! But word gets around as it does and a blue group of adventurers take up the task of calming the demon and dealing with his haywire magic and deliver a hard truth - that he might have to move on with the friends he made along the way. Post fight, the vampire cruising with blue team scoops vin with some tlc plans and asks that blue team to locate the friends vintage had, and maybe even look into his older friends. And once vintage is awake in a rather cleanly and impressive vampire mansion, he's given news that emperor had heard of a wood elf taking care of a rather flowerless and purple nymph, working with a lot more potions than usual. One can't even begin to describe how relieved Vintage is by this info that his first friend, at the very least, is still alive. It may just take time to get to him with post-magic owchies and all, so emperor decides to send out a nice and classy letter to those friends he had found, inviting them over.

Oh and the only reason skull miraculously survived the warring and forest fire is definitely becausee of the lilac tree currently sitting pretty in hell

SO UH YEAH THATS MY PLOT SO FAR FOR THIS FANTASY AU YEAH VERY WILD I HATE CIVIL WAR QUESTS FUCK CIVIL WAR QUESTS

#ask #coroika #splatoon #fantasy au #kingboos #vintage xblood #skull kun #aviators kun #team xblood #skullvin #aviskullvin #maybe i just. make a new tag of kingly polycules bc i shove a lot of what i like into relationship sections of the aus #but yeah!!! vintage is a demon and Avi is trying to get skulls memories back

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roguerogerss · 4 years

Note

Hi babe! I saw you wanted some requests so here I am! Could you do a Bucky x reader where the reader has secret telekinesis abilities (or whatever Wanda can do lmao) and is forced to use them on a mission. Bucky is just in shock bc his secret crush is a even more of a badass, so when he compliments her powers, she gets flustered and disagrees bc they’re dangerous, so Bucky helps her see the beauty in them? Tysm ❤️❤️

His Girl

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

W/C: 3.9k (eek sorry!)

Warnings: Language (??), that's literally it.

(A/N: This one got away from me a little and I wrote wayyy more than anticipated. I hope u like it though? Idk. I had so much fun with this request, thank u sm bb! Praying that someone reads this, even though it's a whole ass novel.)

————

"Bucky, where are you? We have a minute and eight seconds until this place blows."

Y/N was worried, and, upon hearing her frantic voice in his intercoms, Bucky was too. He was aware that he didn't have long until the bomb detonated, but unaware of just how short that amount of time was. He was caught up in a fight, one that was frustrating in the way that he couldn't shake this guy. "Yeah, be there in five?"

He was being sarcastic, he must've been being sarcastic, Y/N shook her head and pressed her fingers to her temples, agitated. "Five what? Five seconds? Minutes? Bucky, I have to ask, are you insane?"

She seemed angry - no, she was most definitely angry - and Bucky silently cursed himself and allowed the Hydra agent to get a hit in, he thought he probably deserved it. "Look, I'll get out. Is there anything you guys can do to buy me some more time?"

Tony had chimed in by this point, telling Bucky that he was 'fucking crazy', ranting and raving to the heavens above about how the entire motive had been messed up and they might as well have stayed home. Y/N knew that she could help him, but that would mean using them - she didn't like to call them by the name that most would use - and she wasn't sure if it was really worth the risk. Bucky would get out, right? He'd work something out.

But time was ticking on, fifty-nine seconds now, and she was unsure of just how right that assumption was. She wasn't even entirely sure that she still had her powers, since she'd avoided using them or telling anyone that they existed since she'd escaped from the grasp of Hydra. Even as she doubted her abilities, she found herself rising from her seat behind the control panels of the Quinjet, next to Steve, and sprinting to the exit to the aircraft.

"Y/N, where are you going?" Steve asked, getting up and following her. The rest of the team were staring now, Natasha and Tony also standing from their places and looking expectantly in Y/N's direction.

"I have something that'll help. Something that you guys don't know about." She said sheepishly, slamming her palm down on the button that opened the exit hatch. "Don't worry, I've got this."

Even though she was promising her friends that everything would be okay, they seemingly didn't believe her, as all five of the other Avengers on the ship - Tony, Nat, Steve, Sam and Thor - followed her out onto the streets of Bucharest, where the public was in awe at the huge, futuristic ship that was sat in the middle of a narrow, cobbled street. Natasha had told them to go home, she'd made the best effort she could to make sure that everyone was safe. However, no one had listened, and so she desperately ushered them away from the place that she knew would soon be rubble, while Y/N ran in search for Bucky.

They had what they'd came for, but that didn't mean that there were no Hydra agents willing to get into altercations with the team. Thor and Steve were frantically fighting off a pack of them, while Tony and Sam helped Y/N, hopefully getting a better view of the streets and where Bucky might be. "Hey, Y/N, I got him. Turn right, next street over. You'll see him." Sam spoke into the intercoms. Y/N thanked him, hurrying off in search of the super-soldier to whom she'd taken more than a liking to over the few months that he'd been fighting with them.

"Buck, I'm on my way, you better be ready to get the fuck out of here." Bucky's eyebrows furrowed as he wondered why Y/N, of all people, was the one who was coming to save him. He had to admit, he was more embarrassed than anything else, needing the help of the one girl who he'd felt anything for in seventy years. But he tried to brush it off, mostly because he had to focus on not letting a Hydra agent rip his arm off, and answered her.

"What are you gonna do? If I can't fight him off, no offence, but what makes you think you'll be able to?" Bucky sounded breathless, and she could hear the obvious sounds of strain and struggle as he continued to tussle with the agent. Y/N took a deep breath and turned the corner, close enough to hear the ominous beeping of the explosive device that a Hydra agent had planted there in hopes of causing harm to one of the Avengers.

"You know what, maybe don't question it. I have my own doubts, but it certainly doesn't help that you have them too."

The agent, who was currently deep in a brawl with Bucky, noticed Y/N, but all that she was able to think about was the amount of time that was left on the clock. She asked FRIDAY, and a rush of adrenaline and fear coursed through her when she realised that they weren't going to get out in time.

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

Y/N drew her gun and shot the Hydra agent, not missing as usual, and Bucky snorted. "Couldn't have done that earlier?"

Four, three, two,

She knew that this was it. It was either expose the world to her powers, probably be deemed as a weapon and certainly become even more wanted by Hydra, or die, and let her friends die too. She took a deep breath and felt the horribly familiar surge of - what was it, electricity? She wasn't actually sure - coursing through her body, and watched as Bucky ogled at the purple wisps of magic that extended from her hands and the way that her irises seemed to ignite.

One.

Bucky ducked and shielded his face, but looked up again when he didn't hear, nor feel anything that would signal an explosion had happened. Y/N had it under control, holding the bomb together with just her fingertips. She'd thought that it wouldn't happen, that her abilities would've simply subsided into nothingness due to being unused for so long, but she was wrong. She'd done it, and there was no going back now.

And then? The small explosion turned huge, and lurched forwards, setting a civilian apartment building completely alight. Y/N stood, watching, mouth wide open and quite unable to understand the circumstances of what the hell just happened. Bucky was at her side, a hand on her shoulder as he, too, watched the destruction take place. The rest of the team had rushed straight there, each one of them with hands over agape mouths while Steve called for Fire and Rescue and Tony wondered aloud, 'What the fuck is going on?'

Y/N found herself on her knees. She could see and hear Bucky in front of her, worry in his eyes as a few tears dripped from her chin onto her chest, but she didn't have it in her to decipher what his words meant, they all just sounded muffled and like he was speaking a language that she didn't understand.

She didn't know what she'd done, how bad it was, but she could hear the screams of the residents of the building, she could feel them vibrating through her body and ringing in her ears, and that was enough to convince her that her enhancements truly were the worst thing about her, that she really was the weapon that Hydra had deliberately mutated her to be.

--------

It had been hours. How many, Y/N was unsure, but a considerable amount of time had passed since they'd gotten home. The flight back from Bucharest had consisted of Y/N locking herself in a cabin, and the rest of the people on the Quinjet taking it in turns to try to speak to her, to try to understand.

No one, apart from Bucky, (who only had a vague idea), knew what had happened. There wasn't a single person on the jet who could fully understand it, Y/N included.

She was now sat on a sofa in the lounge, chewing off parts of her nails while everyone murmured and tiptoed around her. Tony was speaking quickly on the phone and glancing at her every couple of seconds, Steve was pacing back and forth along the length of the room.

Y/N wondered for a minute what would happen. Would she be arrested? Would something like the accords happen again? Was she about to become the cause of another civil war? Would Tony disown her? Send her back to Hydra? She didn't know. She didn't think she wanted to know.

Wanda and Natasha had come to comfort Y/N at first, sat with her and braided her hair like they did often, and it was nice to think that Wanda knew exactly what she was going through.

However, she'd told them that she wanted to be alone, and they'd dispersed and were sitting quietly in two separate armchairs, watching a movie with Sam. The truth was, she didn't really want to be alone. She wanted Bucky. She didn't quite know why, but she'd always felt calm around him, which was one of the reasons why she'd taken such a shine to him, and she made it very clear to herself that she was at least a little bit in love with Bucky, in a way that was less platonic and more romantic.

She couldn't lie and say that she was happy with the way that he'd handled things, though. As soon as the jet landed, he mumbled something about taking a shower and hurried off to his room, like he couldn't stand to be around her for any longer, like he was afraid of her.

And, honestly? She wouldn't be surprised if he was.

The truth, of course, wasn't that Bucky didn't want to see her, it wasn't that he was afraid of her, it was that she was evidently upset. It was tearing him apart to have to see her like that. He felt like he was obligated to be alone to think about what had happened, because he knew that - realistically - it was his fault that she'd had to use her powers. He'd been caught up in a fight, the bomb that had been planted was seconds away from detonating, she had to do something. Of course, he had no idea that something was going to be exposing hidden telekinetic abilities to the world, but close enough, right?

"I just got off the phone with a higher up." Tony stood in the middle of the lounge, everyone looking at him as he began his speech. "Everything's gonna be fine. Just, maybe don't turn on the news for a couple days, Y/N doesn't need to see that."

"Don't act like I'm a kid, please." Y/N spoke up, making it clear that she was annoyed by the fact that everyone was seemingly ignoring that it was her who had done this. "I did this, Tony. I want to know how much damage I caused."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, shaking his head at her. "No, this is not the time to get all Steve-y on me, okay? You don't need to see it, you don't need to know, so you're not going to. Is that clear to you?"

"Mistakes happen, Y/N. It's not your fault." Steve said from where he was standing, next to the breakfast bar. "What matters is that you tell us what actually happened at some point."

"So, what I'm going to take from that, is that it's bad." She turned from Steve, back to Tony. "I'm not weak, I can deal with what I did, Tony."

Tony snapped, the stress of the situation and the argument from his daughter-figure becoming too much for him to handle, "Goddamn it, Y/N, you really wanna know what you did? Let's see, first of all, you used whatever powers you have, something that you clearly knew about but warned no one of. Second of all, you essentially bombed an apartment building in a poor part of Romania, you literally took from the poor. And now what? Fifty-five people are dead, kids have been left without parents, and that's on my back. Plus, you're being publicly deemed as a weapon until they figure out what's really going on there. So, do tell us, what is really going on there?"

"Tony. Stop." Wanda said, but Y/N was already halfway out of the room, with Tony realising that he probably shouldn't have said what he did and following after her.

"Y/N, hey, I'm sorry, okay?" Tony called, but she wasn't listening. She got in the elevator and left Tony alone in the hallway without a word, tears threatening to spill from her eyes the whole time.

And then, finally, they did. When the doors of the elevator closed, when she could no longer hear Tony's voice, when she was alone, oh they did. She found herself on the floor, face cradled in her hands - the same hands that killed fifty-five people just hours before - and there were tears falling from her eyes, past her chin, soaking her black catsuit.

She felt empty, like her body was a shell and she was simply there, watching herself fall apart. It was a kind of guilt, one that ate at her from the inside and seared through every nerve, every part of her, until she could think of doing nothing but curling up and ceasing to exist. She wanted to yell, scream, punch something, run. Anything that would distract her from how she felt. She wanted to sleep for a week, maybe two, forget about everything and ignore her responsibilities until it hurt less. Most importantly, however, she wanted Bucky. She wanted now more than ever to be his girl. For him to lay with her and tangle his fingers in her hair and whisper sweet things in her ear until the bad things in the world simply melted away.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, but Y/N didn't get up, not until FRIDAY asked if she wanted to go to another floor. When she did, however, she found herself taking the wrong turn, to the left instead of to the right, and walking away from her room instead of towards it. Without thinking, she'd already opened the door to Bucky's room, where he was reclined lazily on his bed, a pair of sweatpants on and nothing else, focused on the ceiling.

He furrowed his eyebrows at her when she gave him a tiny little smile, but sighed when he noticed the remnants of her somewhat breakdown on her face. Bucky held his arms open, "Hey, c'mere."

She stepped into his embrace, tears finding their way onto her face again, and let him caress her back and play with her hair until the crying stopped. When Bucky held her, everything felt different, like she could put things into perspective and understand that maybe it wasn't all her fault. "Look, I know you think that this is the end of the world. I know it's scary, but Wanda learned how to use her powers for good. You can do the same." Bucky's attempt at comforting Y/N wasn't exactly superlative, but she knew that he was trying.

"I'm a weapon, Buck." She pulled away from him and sat on the end of the bed, wanting to cry and clawing at the sleeves of her suit in an essay to calm herself down. "That's how Tony worded it, anyway. I shouldn't have used them."

Bucky knew that his next question was stupid, that he probably shouldn't have asked it, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him and he was speaking before properly thinking over the consequences. "How did you get them?" He reached out for her hand and she let him hold it, getting a rush of exhilaration from the affectionate gesture.

Bucky wasn't usually one for showing how he felt, much less for saying it out loud or doing anything to communicate his feelings, and he wasn't quite sure why he had had a sudden change of heart and almost wanted her to know that he liked her, that, really, he would do anything for her. She didn't meet his eye as she began her explanation. "Well, before Tony found me, I worked for Hydra. Actually, less worked for them and more became their personal lab rat. They did a lot of experiments on me, tortured me, really, made me more destructive than any enemy organisation would know how to handle. And then, I escaped. And here I am, talking to you."

She gave him a sad little smile, one that he would swear had broken him. "I'm sorry." It was a lame excuse for comfort, really it was, but he racked his brain once, twice, and couldn't for the life of him find the right words to say.

"Don't be." Y/N shifted in her place, gaze on her hands which were clasped in her lap. It was quiet and Bucky wished that he knew what to say to her, that he could think of something that would make her feel less alone or soothe her in some way. A minute went by, two minutes, three minutes. The silence might've been comfortable between the pair, but it was certainly uncomfortable between Y/N and her own thoughts. "I should go." She said, standing from her place on the bed without looking in Bucky's direction once.

He knew that he had to say something, anything that would make her stay. The thought of her alone in her room was heartbreaking to him. He grabbed her wrist before she could take any more than a few steps towards the door and she looked down at him, lips slightly parted and one eyebrow raised in a silent question. "You're not a weapon. Sure, Stark said that, whatever, the guy's an asshole. But you're not a weapon, Y/N."

She gave a little humourless laugh, blowing a puff of air out of her nose. "The government apparently seem to think so."

Bucky smiled at her and said, "Fuck the government."

"Oh, so you're an anarchist now? Classy." Y/N sat back down and Bucky's heart felt like it was doing summersaults in his chest, all fluttery. She was smiling, he had made her smile, and it was genuine. As far as he was concerned, nothing else really mattered.

"You know what I mean."

"I don't, actually."

Bucky sighed and cocked an eyebrow at her, eliciting a laugh from her lips. "You're really going to make me explain myself, huh?" He joked. "Look, You're not a weapon to me. I think you're a badass, actually." She snorted.

"Bucky, I killed a lot of people."

"So have I." Bucky's tongue darted out to wet his lips as he placed a tender hand on her thigh. "You don't see me as the bad guy. You never have, actually. What I'm trying to say, is that all of us have done bad things. Made mistakes, lost control, that doesn't make us bad people."

"I feel like a bad person." Y/N had her eyes trained on Bucky's face, bottom lip held tightly between her teeth as she tried to avoid letting herself word-vomit about everything that she was feeling at that moment. His hand squeezed her thigh gently, and she let out an embarrassing and involuntary gasp that made her cheeks turn bright red.

"Don't. Y/N, I know it's cheesy as hell, but you did it to save my life, right?" Y/N nodded slowly, "So how does that make you a bad person?"

"You're grasping at strings, here."

“What can I say that'll make you feel better?"

Y/N knew what she wanted to hear, that he liked her as more than a friend, that he wanted to be with her like she wanted to be with him, that her fantasies weren't just fantasies, that he really did love her. But she couldn't say that. God, of course she couldn't say that. So, instead, she simply shrugged.

Bucky knew what he wanted to say to her, that he liked her as more than a friend, wanted her to be with him, of course he loved her. He couldn't drop all of that on her when all she'd given was a shrug, right? Wrong, apparently, because the words spilled from his mouth anyways, like he couldn't control himself.

And really, he couldn't. But he figured that she already knew that.

“I love you." He spluttered, and her eyes widened in shock. "Okay? God, I love you. And what you did today? Made me love you even more. I know you probably don't want to hear this, you don't want me to ruin our friendship, and I get it, I do. But, right now, all I wanna do is protect you, and let you know that you're really not the monster that you think you are."

She stayed silent. What could she say? Her head was swimming with ideas, but none of them really seemed fit. She thought that, if this day ever came, if somehow it came down to confessing her feelings for him, she'd know exactly what to say.

She really couldn't have been more wrong.

So, instead of speaking, she found herself simply staring at Bucky, into his eyes. Had he moved closer? Had she? Either way, their noses were soon bumping together and he was searching her face for any sign of disapproval, one that wasn't there, and so he kissed her.

She felt dizzy, lightheaded, like she couldn't quite figure out where her body ended and Bucky's began, and she didn't think she really wanted to. Lips on lips, his hand on her waist and hers roaming his hair, it felt like heaven.

She was on a high, he was too, and the comedown was breathless and just as euphoric as the real thing. "I love you too." Y/N said.

Bucky couldn't help the plainly stupid, goofy grin that had spread across his face. Did he look like an idiot? Unequivocally. Did he care? Maybe, but that wasn't the point.

"I should get back to my room." Y/N said quietly, a small smile on her lips. "Thanks for...uh, the talk."

Bucky laughed and let her get up, walk to the door and open it while he watched in a daze, and then he stopped her. "Let me walk you."

"I can handle myself."

"Oh, I know, sweetheart. But I'm not entirely sure that you should."

Really, she was already his girl. She always had been.

#bucky barnes #sebastian stan #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x enhanced!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #sebastian stan x reader #fanfic #steve rogers #captain america #marvel #mcu fic #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #deadass a novel #sorry #rogues requests #rogue writes #rogue does marvel

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ectonurites · 3 years

Note

for the character headcannons ask game, jason and cass?

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT im putting this one under a cut because it got SUPER long bc i cant shut up ever

lets start w jason

A (realistic headcanon):

ok using the ‘realistic’ category here loosely but GOD i love the idea of Damian & Jason having interacted while Jason was staying with the League before getting dunked in the Lazarus Pit. like. this obviously would need to be set more in preboot and following the Lost Days & Batman Annual 25 version of Jason’s resurrection, but god the idea of it just makes me scream in a good way. Like... these are things Jason likely doesn’t remember very clearly once he’s brought back to life more fully by the pit because he was uh pretty catatonic, but Damian being a little kid and knowing about the boy that his mother keeps around the base, that she’s trying to help bring back to health. Damian not even knowing that’s his big brother, just that he’s a presence that shares his mother’s attention. Jason again being unresponsive but like, ok god you know that part of lost days where Talia shows the others observing him that he only fights back at those he perceives as genuine threats trying to hurt him,

Because Jason can perceive that she’s safe, she’s not actually trying to hurt him, he trusts her because she saved him? thinking about lil child Damian who is ya know already being trained in fighting stuff and like the idea of him trying to provoke Jason just to see what happens but Jason not fighting back because on some level be it his connection to Talia or even little baby Damian visually reminding him of Bruce, he knows that Damian is safe too 🥺

and then when Jason and Damian meet again in Gotham as Red Hood & Robin respectively, Jason not really remembering because there was so much going on back then for him, but Damian realizing that oh... that was Him

B (hilarious):

alright so if we are looking at comics currently, in modern stuff jason is what, like 22? hes old enough to drink in the US but still definitely early 20s so around my around my age, thats what im using as a basis here. if we adjust timeline and still consider his death having happened when he was 15, that puts it around 2013. and then coming back to like interacting with people about three years later if we still kinda base things off of the preboot timeframe (since we never got a super solid retelling of the timeline of death -> resurrection -> training -> tries to get revenge aside from knowing he went to the all-caste instead of the lost days version of the story) making him reenter the regular world and stuff around age 18 in 2016. meaning a solid three years of pop culture that he was entirely missing, and like im sorry but he really doesn’t strike me as the type to bother looking into what he missed, he’s kinda busy focusing on other stuff. lets take a quick look at some major things from those years. 2013 gave us ‘what does the fox say’ and ‘the harlem shake’ . 2014 had that time U2 just put a fuckin album on everyone’s phones, The Fault In Our Stars movie came out. 2015 introduced the phrase ‘Netflix and Chill’ and the whole blue & black vs gold & white dress debate happened. imagine any of the other batkids (or even arguably roy during rhato stuff) bringing these things up and jason’s ensuing confusion. thank you for your time

C (heart-crushing):

so. there are two specific instances from rebirth era Jason i want to bring up here and much like a lot of these it’s less a headcanon and more of an inference based on observations, but i wanna take a sec to discuss Jason’s relationship with other people’s death. early in rebirth, Tim ‘dies’ from that whole thing in detective comics. he didn’t actually die, we as readers know, but in-universe they all very much so thought he was dead. frustratingly a lot of the batfam wasn’t really shown mourning him aside from in the Detective Comics Rebirth title itself (which just. when a major character dies even if its temporary- that should have a ripple effect) BUT an exception to that is in RHATO 2016, where we get this offhanded comment in Jason’s internal monologuing

similarly later when Roy, who like, had an incredibly close relationship w Jason that had just gotten mended before Heroes in Crisis, gets fuckin murdered in that whole thing... Jason doesn’t go to his funeral either. He leaves a dramatic voice mail and then visits the grave on his own later, choosing to instead keep working on the mission they’d started rather than going and taking the time to mourn properly.

Jason’s relationship with death is incredibly complicated, obviously. He has died, he has come back, and he now is willing to cross the line most other bats won’t and will kill people when he deems it necessary. I think thats something important though- he doesn’t just like... go around killing for fun (usually, some writers preboot made him a little murder happy but even then usually this still was vaguely followed) he kills people he thinks deserved it. Like, even looking back at the mess of Morrison’s Jason during Batman & Robin 2009, Jason was still trying to bring a sense of justice with who he was killing (”punishment that fits the crime”), it wasn’t killing for the sake of killing. He sees things in this kind of almost black and white ‘people who deserve it’ and ‘people who don’t’ way, and he has no problem dealing with death when it’s with the people he thinks deserve it.

but when someone who doesn’t in his mind ‘deserve it’ gets killed? i think he just goes into total avoidance mode. throws himself into other things he’s doing, tries not to dwell on it too much no matter how much he still thinks about it (this is especially evident in him consistently telling people “i’m fine!” after what happened to Roy, despite bringing Roy up literally like every few issues for a WHILE after he died and very clearly still struggling with it, Artemis is the only one who gets through to him on it a little bit)

but yeah, I just think that from Jason’s relatively unique situation of having been murdered, he knows what it’s like and he is perfectly fine wishing that on people he thinks are bad and deserve it, but it crushes him to imagine the people he loves and cares about having to experience something as painful as what he went through. not to mention the whole “I came back, why do I get a second chance at all this when they, who are a much better person than I am, probably won’t” mindset we get some implications of him having

D (canon is a coward and won’t)

hello DC i am once again insisting a batfam member is bisexual

CASS TIME

A (realistic headcanon):

ok so we know cass likes ballet. thats canon. however i think we also should in general explore cass experiencing other types of dance/performance as well, be it herself as a performer or even just watching. like... god imagine her & like my brain just automatically for group activities puts her with tim steph and duke but also for this in particular I feel would be a Jason embraced activity, but like them going to see a broadway show or some other professional theatre or something, and her just being enthralled by the reading of body language of the performers! like again by any point in current stuff cass does have like, the ability to speak fine (reading still hard tho) but even so I think like. okay im a theatre kid if that’s not obvious from the Everything About Me but one thing I always do after seeing a show is ya know spend dinner afterwards discussing it with whoever i saw it with.

I just think that like, bringing those people i just mentioned to the table to discuss seeing a show after would be so FASCINATING because cass would bring this whole perspective of critiquing their acting on a whole different level- not based on how well they delivered lines out loud, but by what their body language was saying as they moved on stage. like im very amused by the idea of cass getting a totally different picture in her mind about what a character’s motivations were because she was paying way more attention to what their physicality was saying vs the words that were written and how they were delivered. i think the debates her and the others would have would be EPIC there. jason defending the text as it was written adamantly and cass being like ‘ok yeah sure but thats not what they did’

B (hilarious):

cass having no concept of money because why would she bother? is SO funny to me. like it’s not that she couldn’t be reasonable if she wanted to, but like, she knows that the Waynes are well off so it’s not something she actually needs to be concerned about, so she just goes hog wild. takes steph out to fancy dinners and makes steph order for them since cass ya know doesn’t really read the menus, and steph’s like ‘jesus christ this costs-” “don’t worry about it” “but cass-” and she just holds up one of bruce’s credit cards and steph’s still like “but you don’t even know the range-” “it is fine”

bruce does not have the heart to tell her to stop

C (heart-crushing):

i mean this is pretty much canon but especially now after death metal where she’s remembering, not just being told by a guy using weird alternate timeline technology, that she used to be an adopted member of the Wayne family... like that hurts so bad. To look at these people who have ya know been kind to her, Bruce has still been a father-like figure to her (i mean literally from the moment they met in New 52 canon during the flashback in Batman & Robin Eternal, where he’s telling her that she’s not a monster just because of what people forced her to do.... that she’s a hero... that hug.... dad behavior), and they do to some extent treat her as family... But to then really know, to feel and remember that she was actually adopted! She was a part of their family. To look at how she’s been calling herself Orphan while working with them this whole time... that’s so heartbreaking! I have cried about this idea so much! I want so badly a conversation between her and Bruce now where he offers to officially adopt her again, I need it so bad and if it doesn’t happen at some point in the next year or two I will be so distraught.

D (canon is a coward and won’t)

i want an in-depth exploration of cass’ relationship to her own gender. being raised without language and you know with so much of her life being independent (remember: CASS RAN AWAY AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT REALLY KNOWING ANY SPOKEN LANGUAGE) and outside of an organized society impressing too much of gender expectations on her, i feel like the way she experiences it would be very unique! like sure she’s so far been fine with being assigned ‘girl’ (ya know that comes with batgirl, and how people just automatically treated her based on how she looks) but in terms of gender expression and like her actual relationship with ‘traditional femininity’ etc like... because of how she was raised I just think she’d have a really different perspective on it that could be cool to explore, and I think she’d fall outside of the binary after she really thinks about how she identifies.

tldr on that: she/they nb cass is what i’m getting at here

#onwater #jason todd #cassandra cain #sam writes

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deathvsthemaiden · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @florrdemaga (thank you Iris! 💜🪄) to fill out this tag meme! These questions were really fun, I’m glad I was tagged 🏷🕊

1. Do you like answering tags?

LOVE answering tags!! Sometimes during dry spells where no one’s rlly doing any tag memes I’m like maybe I should start one... have no ideas tho alas ✊🏽😔💔

2. Do you prefer to write fanfiction, read fanfiction, create fanart, make video edits, or none of the above?

Create fanart!!! Oh god I have so many ideas for fan and original art I just barely draw anymore for various reasons. Sometimes I look at my old wips and make myself sad for no good reason, I don’t want to talk about it 😞🥀 (<- she’s being dramatic ignore her)

I dabble in reading fanfic but rarely, because I don’t have the patience to comb thru it all for quality stuff that suits my tastes AND. Most of the time the stuff I wanna read in terms of fanfic doesn’t exist bc I’m specific and picky and/or I most wanna read about my favorite side characters who get less spotlight in their respective canons... but because they’re obscure faves, I have fewer fics to choose from 😔 and I wouldn’t know where to start writing my own fanfiction, writing cohesive coherent stories in general trips me up an insane amount, so I just close my eyes and dream up vague scenarios from time to time 😴💭

3. Nails painted (include what color) or not?

I default to any bright or dark red, pale/shiny pink, plum purple, or copper. I usually paint my pointer fingers a different color because it makes the acts of pointing and gesturing more fun... I can’t explain it. Rarely do I remember to actually paint my nails tho!

4. What would your amortentia smell like? (For those who don’t know Harry Potter, amortentia is a love potion that smells different to each person based on what attracts them. Basically what are your favorite smells?)

Roses, jasmine, sage, oud, cooking or baking just like in general, can’t think of specific dishes rn, the sea, coffee, chai.... I can’t rlly choose, I don’t think about smells often 😳😳😳😳😳 I just like what I like in the moment and usually forget later GWUSBSNS

5. Would you prefer to live in an extremely hot or cold climate?

HOTTTT!!! Hot a thousand times over 🔥

6. Favorite flavor of chapstick or do you not wear any?

I acquired a tube of pomegranate burt’s bees recently and it wiped clean any and all prior chapstick flavors from my memory... am obsessed with it and the subtle red it leaves.

7. Enemies to lovers or friends to lovers?

GOD THE SECOND ONE... bores me most of the time, at least conceptually, so enemies to lovers. I much prefer drama and the idea of getting to meet new people instead of sticking to someone you’ve known forever, like for me personally friends to o lovers just feels too “expected” or “easy” (these are not the right words I can’t think of any better ones rn tho have mercy) unless it’s done in a veryyy specific way. And sometimes the obstacles in friends to lovers feel less compelling/convincing than the ones present in enemies to lovers. (I’m generalizing but it’s sort of impossible to avoid doing that when answering a q like this!)

I also love enemies to lovers or almost any complicated fictional relationship w/ some sort of animosity or tension involved because when handled effectively it’s more engaging to watch characters navigate emotions that feel almost like opposites. Also they validate my strong belief that love is never uncomplicated or effortlessly “pure,” and that the existence of it doesn’t cancel out the very real possibility of less savory and potentially valid feelings. In my experience most relationships are complicated by weird combinations of feelings and that makes the good parts of them more... idk... satisfying or precious. I’m messy basically.

8. Favorite type of weather?

Sunny sunny sunny sunny sunny 🥺🤲🏽☀️

9. Do you use :), :], or :D?

:) and :D !

Tagging: @pinkafropuffs @noblyphantasmic @chaliceandsword @chiiquitita @fithragaer @fatallist and... 6 is a nice number, I’ll stop here because I’m in a rush, but as always this is free and fair game for anyyyyyyone! Be bold be swift be unafraid 🕊

#I should I clarify when I say enemies to lovers I usually imagine enemies on a personal level rather than oh we’re on different sides #They can and do overlap but when duty and no hard feelings are the barrier #between two love interests that’s like... a whole different ‘genre’ or w/e to me #tagged in

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bronanlynch · 3 years

Text

weekly (monthly?) media roundup

ok so I do want to actually do these on some sort of schedule but unfortunately, as you already know, brains,

listening: Malice in Wonderland by Fangbanger, which I found from a tumblr post that described them as band for “if you have a complicated relationship with gender, had a falling out with god, hate the government, or just think that vampires are neat" and y’know? yeah. my notes on this song from several weeks ago are that I might not know any of these people’s genders but I do know they’ve listened to MCR

youtube

reading: the new Cassandra Clare book, Chain of Iron. it’s boring and homophobic. in the first book of this series, we find out that the heroine’s brother is gay and in a relationship with a man who has no intention of ever coming out publicly because 1) the book is set in 1903 in England, it was literally illegal and 2) he’s trying to have a career in politics. the heroine decides that this means he’s ashamed of her brother and doesn’t deserve him, and she is present and active in their breakup conversation.

above is the relationship chart I made from the first book, it really hasn’t changed much except now the main guy and the main girl are married, the lesbians got back together and then broke up again, the main girl’s gay brother hooked up with one of her husband’s friend, who’s a Good Gay and therefore worthy of love unlike the Bad Gay ex who is constantly mocked by just about every character for. checks notes. caring about appearances and manners given that his life and career are based on those things. the brother and his new love interest break up because the brother still thinks he’s a bad person for ever having dated his ex. also the main girl has now platonically run off to Paris with her husband’s platonic soulmate who is allegedly in love with her but it’s really unconvincing that he’s not actually in love with her husband (he’s not for very stupid lore reasons, the whole ‘parabatai are magically prevented from being romantically in love, except for these two straight people, when historically parabatai pairs were two men’ makes my fucking blood boil)

you might ask why I still read these books even though they make me angry and the answer is the 1) the aesthetic slaps 2) some of the characters are fun 3) the premise has enough potential that it could be good if it was good 4) sometimes I need to get cathartically angry abt bad fiction bc it just. does not matter

watching: so many things that I’m gonna just. run through them real quick

Word of Honor: gestures vaguely at how it’s slowly taking over my blog

Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: love a found family, eh about the politics, can’t believe I predictably got a new fave character within the last two episodes of the show because one of the main characters is betrayed by his second-in-command and I think treason is the sexiest part of a relationship

SamBucky show: in the original draft of this post I said that it was so boring that week (episode 3) that I completely forgot about it until I saw the draft below this one talking about how bad and boring it is. at least more happened in later episodes and they’re finally giving me some tasty queerbaiting but the premise and the politics are. wow. it sure is military propaganda

My Hero Academia: new season is fun, love a tournament arc. don’t love that they tell us right away that the double agent character is a double agent, it was more fun in the manga when you’re not sure if he’s a traitor or not for a pretty long time

Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun: new season is cute, there sure is some gender happening. there’s a tsundere bisexual catgirl

Backflip!!: I usually avoid high school sports anime for backstory reasons but my roommate wanted to watch it with me and oh boy these gymnasts sure are gay for each other huh

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood: my roommate pitched this to me as ‘cyberpunk but in the 1930s’ and there sure is dark lighting, lots of glowy neon stuff, and government oppression, which are the most important elements of cyberpunk apparently. not sure how I feel about it yet, because there’s a cool shapeshifting lady assassin with a revenge quest but there’s also a trans character who was revealed to be trans in a way that I personally did not enjoy. yes you can have transphobic villains but like. hmm. maybe the audience shouldn’t find out that someone is trans because the villain cuts his shirt away specifically to ~put him in his place. or maybe I personally am just sensitive to that but either way no thank you

on the other hand, the main character is sick as shit

The World Ends with You: god I love an anime about the power of friendship. I’ve only had these kids for two episodes and I would lay down my life for them

Nirvana in Fire: we’re only three episodes in and I did spend the first half of the first ep being like. oh god which of these people are actually important who am I supposed to care about here. and then by the end of the first ep I knew which ones I cared about and am now very afraid for their safety. do love the political intrigue though

playing: got through the first mission of Brigmore Witches. I love a good undercover mission, I wish I hadn’t been too afraid of like. alarms going off if I freed the other prisoners because I think Comrade Daud should do a jailbreak, and Lizzy Stride can call me anytime

also recently have played various ttrpgs including Firebrands, more Things, Eldritch and Terrifying, Link, and of course more Beam Saber (oh shit I meant to do my recap post for last session OOPS)

making: Zan and I made some real good chicken parm the other night, vaguely based on this recipe. by which I mean, we looked at the recipe to see how many eggs to use and how long to cook it and pretty much nothing else. the egg marinade step seemed unnecessary and I made the sauce the way I always make tomato sauce, which some day I should write down because it does in fact fuck. the secret is a shit-ton of oregano and basil and no chunks of tomato because fuck that. bad texture

Zan made the zucchini which also slapped, using some of the leftover bread crumbs

writing: I’ve posted a couple of things but most recently I wrote some rarepair femslash. this is the first fic for this ship on ao3 and the second ship in the f/f tag for this fandom that’s actually about the women in the show (as opposed to showing up in the f/f tag because it’s marked as “multi” or like. genderbent versions of the main m/m ship) but like. look at them. they’re terrible evil assassin women and they’re in love. anyway I’ve gotten over being embarrassed about having written a sex scene and moved on to wanting people to read my fic. there’s sparring as foreplay it’s a good time

#dreaming.txt #tuesday no problem extended universe

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nbapprentice · 4 years

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You said a while back that while Supergiant games (Bastion, Transistor, Hades) was mostly okay, you had some words about them. I was curious as to what those words were, since Hades' full release is soon.

okay. alright. ive been playing hades lately so i definitely want to give my two cents (or dollars by the size this is gonna get). but let’s go Step by Step

the good: i want to throw a whole Endorsement over supergiant games with the art direction and its characters, which is what keeps me coming back again and again, and what i can assume is that most people are attracted to.

gameplaywise, they have a Format they stick to which has become their staple, not to their detriment but to their advantage, like... gameplay tropes, so to speak, that they stick to (such as the addition of special conditions that give a disadvantage in exchange for more long-term rewards)

i fucking adore that they take one concept per game, go for it, and when they’re done they are Done; they don’t bother with sequels, they don’t want to run things to the ground and i fucking respect that. They have their themes, and they stick to them (to various degrees of success).

that said, like every piece of media, they are not perfect and this has to be analysed and spoken about

CONTENT WARNINGS: genocide and ethnic cleansing, antisemitism, misogyny, homophobia, suicide, and mentions of incest, and a general Spoilers warning

bastion: touches on ethnic cleansing, and not in a way i’d say is satisfactory. our narrator and one of our Sympathetic characters is one of the men who worked on a world-ending weapon meant to use against the Ura (a group of people coded as East Asian) which after a bit of googling is literally called “the final solution” if there was ever a war between the Ura and the Cael (who feel like rly tan white people to me). jesus fucking CHRIST.

we also meet more Ura other than our two named characters and we have to kill most of them. so that fucking blows.

the game tries for “being a genocidal monster will get you fucked up and blown up” which duh, but i feel we shouldn’t have had a person responsible for war crimes be one of our friends no matter how bad he feels about the whole thing, or the people victim of war crimes become villains in the latter half of the game. zia’s father could’ve taken ruck’s role ez pz.

transistor: the weakest of their games, imo; the lore and writing are fairly flimsy and i did not come out feeling Satisfied, especially because it had this rly good build-up that did not pay off. not to mention... their villains? 3/4 were gay people. lol. two married guys (not even explicit, you only realize by their shared last names) and the ps*cho lesbian trope (iirc she wanted to kill the protagonist’s lover or something). the female protagonist also ends up killing herself to live forever in a digital paradise with her dead lover. it’s. god.

very Aesthetic, GORGEOUS music, interesting gameplay; had potential, i do not feel like it lived up to it at least as far as the story goes.

pyre: now this one. this one’s BEEFY. where transistor felt flimsy, pyre is rich; lots to sink your teeth into, rich in lore and loveable characters, again w the beautiful music, themes of cooperation and togetherness. my favorite of the cast is volfred sandalwood, the only Black (or, well, Black-coded) revolutionary i’ve ever seen portrayed with this amount of sympathy.

onto the bad: they literally have a Class of character named “Savage”; there’s the “mystical mentally ill person” trope; there is an overwhelming amount of explicit m/f pairs (one of them being. a romance that formed in a single day and then both of the characters were somehow willing to risk it all for each other? PLEASE) while the only hints of gayness are... hints. especially when Jodariel (another of my favs) is teased to have feelings for the player regardless of gender then only gets an ending with a male character with whom she has nothing in common 🙃

hades: and now. this one. music: gorgeous. character designs: spectacular (aphrodite is straight up naked but it’s so... natural and casual, it doesn’t feel sexualized at all). voice acting amazing. character interactions charming and endearing. as a greek mythology nerd, it was nice to see them go for the obscure shit like Zagreus at all, NOT portray Persephone and Hades as a loving couple, AND portrayed the gods as the bunch of petty assholes (some more benevolent than others) that they are. imo they’re too generous with their portrayal of achilles but i’ll allow it.

and finally... it seems all those criticisms about having all the gay characters hidden in the shadows paid off, cuz we got (aside of patroclus and achilles) a bisexual polyamorous protag. Holy Shit! and it’s not even playersexual, romance whomever you want shit without the routes recognizing each other: he explicitly talks about how he’s thinking abt them both (though it’s like “yeah usually mortals take one lover but gods love many huh” polyamory is a human thing too bro!!!!!)

and this is where it all goes, well, at least vaguely downhill lol. ok so the incest warning i gave up there? well. it’s not... outright incestuous. but it has some ugly implications. i want to emphasize: the characters never refer to each other as siblings, nor do they treat each other as such (thanatos, in fact, only recognizes hypnos as his brother, and megaera only sees the other furies as her sisters), but they were all raised by the same woman, Nyx... zagreus and thanatos even grew up together (im assuming megaera didnt meet zagreus until he was fully grown).

this is complicated even worse by the fact that they tried to trick zagreus into believing Nyx was his mother. he realized pretty early on this was not true but like... adoptive mothers, anyone? granted i can believe that bc of the attempt at deception that probably ruptured any attempt at actual familial closeness, and it’s not like hypnos and thanatos saw zagreus as their brother at any point, so they were p much aware of the truth too. with the fact that thanatos even looks like goth miles edgeworth (im not kidding you can google him up right now its literally edgeworth in a cowl) i rly feel they were aiming for Childhood Friend Anime Rival Man than the “surprise kiss bc ur not actually related <3″ shit. zagreus never once refers to nyx as his mother in-game, and also refers to thanatos and hypnos as her sons, never his brothers.

so yeah, like. if one’s feeling generous, zagreus and thanatos are more of a “my father is emotionally closed off and neglects me so my best friend’s mother basically raised me” kind of situation... just pulled off in, perhaps, the worst way possible (why didnt they just say Zagreus was told Hekate was his mom, that’s such an easy fix? or that he was born of nobody other than Hades??? [gestures at athena])

but then, the gods. aaaaaaaahhhhahahahh the gods. demeter shows up! and she calls zeus, hades and poseidon... her foster-brothers. which somehow would make the persephone thing less fucking awful, apparently. they really. really really did not need to do that. she could’ve just said “my fellow gods” or whatever. or my “god-brothers” or something, to pretend it was just a weird god alliance thing??? i dont know but implying that foster family isn’t family is just... bro, the dynamics still exist.

Don’t Like That.

i even contacted supergiant games over this. they reassured me they were even trying to avoid the incest of the original myths bc they didn’t want to mess with such a heavy theme. i believe them... but i really think they didn’t think this through. compared to something like fire emblem fates this is nearly benign, but the implications don’t look good :/

tl;dr of the tl;drs: i admire their artistic philosophy and the heavy emphasis on fresh gameplay, characters and their relationships; i appreciate that it seems that they listen to criticism?; i don’t appreciate that they didn’t think to at LEAST talk to adoptees when making a game about family.

#Anonymous #asks #mod nba #supergiant #supergiant games #bastion #transistor #hades #pyre

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frickfracksnatchisback · 4 years

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If you'd be willing, could you do some hcs about smatcher & moonie who have a S/O who has ptsd, kinda similar to them, but from their biological mother? I see my mother a lot in Venessa, so I tend to mentally cling to snatcher n mj bc they remind me a bit of what I went through, I wish I could be there for them to help ease over the pain, yaknow?

Sure! I can understand having them as comfort characters! (But if you don’t mind, I won’t outright say the S/O’s previous abusive relationship and keep it very vague, that way it can be more inclusive. I’ll also throw in some extra HCs with Snatcher and Moonjumper dealing with their own trauma/PTSD) Also! Just a fair warning, I know nothing about this but I’ll try my best, so if any of these HCs seem insensitive please let me know and I’ll fix them right away! (Warning for mentions of abuse and past trauma under the cut!)

We all know that Snatcher is generally loud with his voice, even when speaking normally. However, if S/O tends to cringe at loud or heightened voices, Snatcher actually starts to become more quiet around them. He speaks softer, in hushed tones, and even when he’s angry or upset he reassures them that everything’s alright and that he’s not too mad at them. It’s rare to hear Snatcher speaking so normally, but if it comforts S/O then he’ll speak as quiet as he possibly can around them. And if S/O happens to be having a traumatic episode or a panic/anxiety attack? He will be especially quiet around them, showing the softer side of himself for once by holding them in his arms (if they don’t mind) and promising them that they’re okay and he’s here if they need him.

Moonjumper tends to be very clingy, wanting plenty of hugs and cuddles from S/O. But once he finds out that S/O is uncomfortable with sudden physical touch (after the giving them a surprise hug on accident), he makes a vow right then and there to always ask before even thinking about touching them again. If they say no, they’re not comfortable with that just yet, then he’ll be sure keep his distance while still giving them encouraging words and compliments. But if they say yes, he’ll be extremely gentle with them, hugging them so lightly he’s barely even touching them, or being very considerate when holding their hand, asking them again and again if they’re alright with what he’s doing before going any further.

Snatcher has a habit of sneaking up on people and scaring them as “pranks”, but with S/O it’s actually quite the opposite. They are the only one who he never does his normal routine with and/or tries to jumpscare (he made that mistake when he first introduced himself to them, and now he’s promised never to scare them like that again). He tends to tap their shoulders lightly and tries to announce himself before teleporting next to them or popping out of the ground randomly. It’s tough, because Snatcher really wants to be his normal, menacing self, but he puts their comfort first because he wants them to feel safer around him.

If S/O has depressive moments and/or deals with intrusive thoughts because of their PTSD, Moonjumper tries his hardest to encourage them and find ways to make them smile and feel happy. Like with a previous HC I mentioned, Moonjumper gifts them blankets, pillows, and/or plushies, but now he gives them to S/O whenever they’re in need of comfort or as a way to de-stress. If they’re okay with more physical affection, he’ll cradle them in his arms gently, telling them just how much he loves them and that they’re perfect just the way they are. And while he knows he can’t make their depression or intrusive thoughts go away completely, he will try his best to make sure they know that they are loved, despite what their brain tells them.

Now, with both Snatcher and Moonjumper, they tend to have nightmares about their trauma from the past. But if S/O has the same problem? They’ll both try to wake S/O up gently, making sure they’re alright and wiping the tears from their eyes if they’re crying. Neither Snatcher or Moonjumper will try to push, so S/O doesn’t have to tell them about the nightmare if they don’t want to, but they still hold S/O close, hushing and comforting them until they can fall back asleep again. If S/O has trouble falling asleep, however, Snatcher offers to read one of his law books to them and Moonjumper will offer to sing a lullaby for them. Neither of them will fall back asleep until S/O has, making sure they’re safe before doing so (they’re both ghosts, so sleep isn’t really necessary for them).

No matter who the person is that S/O has distanced themselves from (an abusive family member, a past lover, or even just a toxic friend), both Snatcher and Moonjumper promise S/O that they will both keep them far away from said individual(s) as possible. Both of them become very protect around S/O, even Moonjumper, and they reassure S/O that they will never let anyone hurt them ever again (even if no harm was actually done to S/O, they’ll still be protective of them and make sure they’re safe). Snatcher and Moonjumper also take note of things and tiggers that remind S/O of there past trauma, making sure to avoid the topics all together or help them through those issues, whichever it may be.

Snatcher & Moonjumper HCs:

During winter, Snatcher becomes very...distant, for obvious reasons. He doesn’t like the snow, ice, or the cold in general, because it reminds him too much of her. He’s very reclusive when this happens, refusing to go out into the cold at first. But, with a lot of convincing, S/O helps Snatcher overcome this, bringing him out into the snow slowly, hand-in-hand, showing them that there’s nothing to be afraid of. S/O might even convince him to have some fun playing in the snow; having a snowball fight with Hat Kid, Bow Kid, Mu, and even the Subconites, making snowpeople, snowforts, and snowangels. And when all’s said and done, Snatcher and S/O get to cuddle up close to one another, with some hot cocoa and a good book as the snow continues to fall outside. Snatcher mutters a quiet “thank you” to them, for helping him feel happy for the first time in years.

Moonjumper has a conditional sense of perfection, scolding himself whenever he thinks he’s not acting politely enough or even when he makes little mistakes (I bet you can guess where that came from). It gets so bad, to where when he really does mess up badly, he flinches at S/O sudden movements. It’s a reflex, as Vanessa used to slap the Prince across the face if he ever made her upset. And while he knows very well that S/O is nothing like Vanessa, and they would never hurt him, it still brings back some unpleasant memories and he apologizes to them for “not being good enough.” If S/O reassures him, telling him that he is enough and that he shouldn’t worry about trying to impress them, Moon will then embrace them, crying happy tears and saying how much he loves them over and over.

Snatcher has a similar thing like with Moonjumper, where he doesn’t like sudden or abrupt touches. If someone were to hug him or touch him suddenly, with no warning, he’d flinch, before calming down once he realizes there’s no danger (unless it’s someone he really doesn’t like, then they’d better run). It takes awhile for Snatcher to become used to physical contact, but it takes surprisingly less time with people he trusts, like S/O. He finds it very considerate when S/O asks him for permission before hugging him, holding his hand, and especially kissing him, liking how slow and patient they are with him. And when Snatcher displays some of his nervous habits, like fidgeting with his claws or grabbing at his wrists, he finds it comforting when S/O asks him what’s wrong and offers to cuddle him, which he gladly accepts.

(This HC is a bit more angsty, so fair warning) Moonjumper has scars that he, at first, hides from S/O. He has slash marks (ones that look eerily like claw marks) that adorn his chest, shoulders, arms, and thighs; white marks that stand out from his blue skin. No surprise here, they came from Vanessa (after she had turned monstrous) and he hides these scars because they bring back unpleasant memories of his time locked away in the basement... that, and he’s very self-conscious about them, fearing that S/O might find them disgusting. But when he finally does decides to show them, after S/O convinces him, he finds their reassurance heart-warming, with them showing empathy/sympathy for what happened to him and letting him know that he isn’t ugly or unattractive because of his scars.

Back to the nightmares HC, whenever Snatcher or Moonjumper wakes up from a nightmare, they usually wake up S/O in the process. With Moonjumper he’s immediately crying, curling up to S/O suddenly and hugging them tight, like he’s afraid they’ll disappear. With Snatcher, it’s rare to see him cry, and at first he’ll be defensive about it if S/O finds out... but eventually he’ll give into them trying to comfort him, holding them close and reluctantly asking for cuddles so he can calm down again. In both cases, both of the ghosts feel much better talking it out with S/O and having them in their arms, falling back asleep once they know they’re safe and, more importantly, that their S/O is safe.

Whenever they’re reminder of Vanessa, both Snatcher and Moonjumper act differently. With Snatcher, he becomes more distant and irritable, shutting himself down emotionally and keeping away from others. With Moonjumper, he becomes reminiscent and sorrowful, knowing that while he doesn’t love Vanessa anymore, little things still tend to remind him of her, so it’s hard for him to let go of the memories of what they once had. In both cases, it helps tremendously when S/O offers to comfort either Snatcher or Moonjumper. It will take plenty of time patience with Snatcher, as he normally pushes anyone away who even tries to bring up his past, but eventually he welcomes S/O help and kind words. And with Moonjumper, even he is reluctant to open up at first, thinking that his feelings are unnecessary or foolish, but when S/O offers to listen to him it’s a huge weight off his shoulders. In both cases, both ghosts make it clear to S/O just how lucky they are to have such an understanding soulmate, and that they’re so happy they gave love another chance.

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tintinwrites · 4 years

Text

everything else goes away | Poe Dameron x Reader

Request: hiyaaa, i’ve been feeling a little bit emotionally numb(?) is that even something idk. but i was just wondering if you would be able to write something like the reader has been a little bit detached to poe and everybody else and it’s very weird bc the reader is usually very social everywhere and anywhere and poe just want to know what’s wrong and help her. thankyou you are a sweetheart and also i love your writing so much they make me warm :)

A/N: Thank you very much! I understand that and hope this is what you wanted or at least good enough <3

Rating: T

Warning: Reader is emotionally empty. There is naughty language.

Word count: 811, apparently!!

Summary: Poe notices that you haven’t seemed to care much about anything lately and even though he can’t fix you, he can be there.

GIF credit: martinmcdonagh

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Poe noticed you’d been staring at a wrench you were holding for the past ten minutes.

It seemed like you were always staring off into space lately.

Where he was used to you laughing and talking animatedly with your friends, you would sit there silently with empty eyes like there was no one around you.

He didn’t like it.

“Hey, buddy,” he said almost tentatively, like his words would snap something; whether that be your possibly fragile mental state or his body should your mental state be that of barely concealed anger.

“Pass me the wrench.” You sounded like a poorly-made droid.

He grabbed your wrist, lifted your arm to move the tool you were holding closer to your face. “Uh, sweetheart, you’re holding the wrench.”

You blinked in confusion and then looked up at him.

Without even saying anything.

Hand leaving your wrist, he rubbed the back of his neck a little awkwardly.

“Everyone’s gonna play some sabacc and have a few drinks tonight if you’re interested.”

“Maybe another time.” Your mind seemed elsewhere and you were walking away when Poe opened his mouth to say something else.

“Y/N, wait!”

“We need to have a chat, Commander Dameron.”

That wasn’t your voice, but one of his pilots stepping in front of him and blocking his view of you.

He looked around the pilot while they told him whatever they needed to; you were walking out of the room.

You walked farther away and he had to talk to the person in front of him for the next few minutes, tapping his foot impatiently all the while.

Once the conversation was finished as quickly as it could be, he dashed out of ship maintenance in search of wherever you were.

Not the dining hall, not the command center, not the base’s cantina, not in any corridors, not the lounge, not the conference room, and definitely not in your quarters where your bunk mate very angrily asked him why he was sniffing around you.

His answer that you smelled good was only half of a joke, but it nearly had him punched and he had to run away quickly.

He walked out to the hangar, hands on his hips as you weren’t there, and BB-8 rolled up to him whirring.

Poe...Y/N...leave...sad.

“Did you see which way she went?” He followed the way the droid gestured with a metal arm, running to a nearby grassy hill and climbing it to see you laying in the open field beyond it.

He jogged to you and sat sound next to you with his legs crossed.

You stared up at the sky.

Did you even look at him when he walked over?

All you were doing was absentmindedly running your fingers through blades of grass.

“You wanna tell me why my favorite pilot is suddenly not around anymore?”

“I’m here.”

“You’ve been acting like you’re somewhere else for about a month now.”

“Didn’t think anyone’d notice.”

Biting his lip, he ran a hand through his hair. “I did and I’m worried about you, about the girl who used to make fun of me with that pretty smile.”

You shook your head.

“The girl who used to drink me under the table during every sabacc game and yet be way more sober than I am.”

“It’s an unhealthy habit.”

“But we had fun and everyone loved having you around, and now it’s like you’re not even there in the rare moments you agree to hang out.”

“Maybe I’ve been busy.”

“Cut the vague shit! What is your problem?”

“Everything.”

“You’re not going to answer me.”

“I did answer you with everything.”

His brow furrowed slightly, unsure of what to say to that answer.

You glanced at him and then away. “It’s like I was too sad and now I don’t feel anything, it’s like I’m...floating along while everyone else is living and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Despite your apparent lack of emotion, your voice did crack and Poe’s heart broke.

The war was too much for everyone and most people were only living to avoid the emptiness that you were experiencing.

“I can fix it,” a promise he couldn’t really keep since the only way to fix it was to end the war, and even then you might still be numb to everything.

“Poe.”

Your tone echoed his own correct thoughts, that there was no way he could fix this any more than you could.

And maybe sometimes things didn’t need to be righted as soon as possible, maybe they could simply be there and someone could help to hold you steady until a solution was found.

He carefully laid down beside you and slipped his hand into yours.

Turning his head to look at you even though the grass poked at his face, he promised quite truthfully, “We can totally fix it later.”

#poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader #star wars imagine #poe dameron fic

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cognacdelights · 4 years

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I absolutely love your writing bc the way you describe things and use language is so beautiful like you're such a talented writer 🥺 I was wondering if you had any tips for writing or if its just something that comes to you naturally ??

awww thank you so much! this is so sweet of you!

i think the first thing you need to remember about writing is that everybody has their own narrative voice and their own way of storytelling. you need to find your voice and your writing tone. are you somebody who likes description or are you more of a direct and straight to the drama person? are you more of a contemporary voice or a traditional voice? do you like monologues? what’s your tense? what person are you writing in?

my second “tip” would just be to read. read whatever you can/want - books, fanfics, tumblr blurbs, any kind of fiction. by reading other people’s work, you learn more language and how to use it, it sparks inspiration for your own works (without completely plagiarising someone’s work obviously), you learn how to build scenes up, build tension and timelines of how things should play out. if you’re seriously considering being an author, reading published books that have been through an editor would probably be more beneficial to you. however, if you’re somebody who writes for leisure or fanfictions then a mixture of both would be good for you. there are some really amazing fanfics out there that have well developed plots, well developed characters who go through an interesting character arc all whilst being written extremely well. even if you read something which you think is “bad” then you learn what kind of things you don’t like and avoid them in your writing.

know that not everybody is going to “like” your writing. like i said, everybody has their own voice and, similarly to that, everybody has their own preferences. if you’re not somebody’s preference, that’s okay, because there will be plenty of people out there who’s preference you are. it’s also important to know the difference between hate and constructive criticism (especially on tumblr); hate is simply somebody saying that they don’t like your writing and putting you down because of that, whereas constructive criticism is somebody politely notifying you of something you could improve about your writing and offering you ways in which you could do that. you then have to decide whether you want to act on this constructive criticism. if it’s a particular quality of your writing that you love, and you think makes your work unique, then you may not want to adapt your writing. although, you may find that you agree with the person. or, you may find a happy medium in which you still incorporate such things into your writing but just not as much - you use it as an accent and not a foundation.

if you’re somebody who struggles with using the same words repeatedly or you want to develop your vocabulary, use a thesaurus. however, you should always check the actual definition of the word you’ve chosen to replace the “boring” word. too many people just search for a similar word and stick it in the sentence without checking that it does definitely mean what you want it to and/or that it is being used in the correct context. thesaurus’ are an amazing tool if you use them correctly and don’t just pick out the fanciest, most intelligent sounding words. however, in contrast to this, sometimes it doesn’t need big, fancy words to get the point across. know what is needed and where. sometimes simple has a bigger effect than complex.

planning. plan your stories/fics out, even if you’re somebody who likes to “go with the flow” a very vague and rough outline of key events is never a bad thing. from experience, stories which are written completely off a whim and are taken in whatever direction the wind takes the writer tend to be full of plot holes, loose ends, bad character development and usually are just a sequence of dramatic events used to keep readers coming back. there isn’t much depth to the characters, characters don’t navigate through a character arc and it’s all about action and pulling in readers. at the very least have some direction of your plot or character development so you’re not contradicting yourself in your writing.

just practice. just keep on writing. the more you write the more you’ll figure out what works, what sounds good, what sentences string together with a natural flow. i’ve been writing for eight years and i’m telling you that the first few “masterpieces” that i created were utter shite. i cringe looking back at them and can’t physically bring myself to claim them as my own - they will live on in the universe unclaimed and just simply existing. also, your writing tends to mature with age because you’ve experienced more. you know more about the world and how it works so you can out those extra details into your writing. research is always good, but you don’t truly understand the entire experience of something if you haven’t lived it and that can translate into your writing.

this got way out of hand and is probably a lot longer than you anticipated, but here you go...

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